Introduction
Muslims believe the Quran, the holy book of Islam itself is not just a religious book for guidance but also the literal word of god i.e. Allah itself. In everyday conversations, you will hear Muslims call it Kalamullah (Word of God), not in the Christian sense where the Word is Jesus and God but actual sayings, sentences, and words uttered by god himself and compiled into a single book by human hands. While Muslims are proud of their holy book being the literal words of god sent down to all of mankind, there are a few problems with that mainly concerning Islam's doctrinal theology and its core beliefs.
Disclaimer and Notes
Now, before I start, a disclaimer. The issue of the Quran being god's word or not has been one of the most pretentious and divided issues in the Muslim community. Because of this issue, multiple sects (considered deviant and heretical today) popped up in the early years of Islam's history leading to multiple debates, condemnations, and even inquisitions for those that were against the majority-held view in history. So to make it easy considering Islam has tons of historical sects, all of whom held widely different views than modern-day Islam when it comes to the Quran's states as the word of god (or not), this post is aimed at Ashari, Maturidi and Ahlul Hadith/Athari aqeedah sects who make up the majority of Muslims today, collectively considered to be under the umbrella of Ahlul Sunnah Wal Jema'ah (Literally meaning "The People of the Prophet's Tradition and Consensus" or to make it easier to understand "The Followers of the Prophet's Teachings and the Righteous Community"). This term is commonly understood in Islam as those who follow the true and righteous path in Islam which according to the hadiths, out of 73 deviant sects, only 1 (the above I already mention) will be on the correct spiritual path.
Why do I say this problem is akin to the Trinity problem in Christianity? Both are key problems that form the basis of the entire religion, not just for an individual believer but also for the scholars who dabble in religious sciences. Both the Quran and Trinity make up the core fundamental teachings upon which other teachings are established and expanded further. Without these key concepts, the entire premise of both religions (Islam and Christianity) would fall apart within a matter of seconds. Both issues are also hotly debated even to this day. As I mentioned before, the issue of the Quran's creation or non-creation was an important issue that occupied the minds of early-century Muslim scholars and thinkers, to the point schisms and breakaways from the main branch started to emerge. The same thing happened in Christianity with the Trinity which led to excommunication, the Arian controversy, and multiple individual distinct sects, all of whom have a different understanding of what the Trinity is.
Last, I would also like to mention that considering the Trinity has been severely criticized by non-Christians alike as proof of Christianity's falsehood and internal contradictions, then the same should be said with Islam's problem of the Quran's status. However, unlike in Islam, Christianity continued to debate up to the present day and even adopted Greek philosophical concepts to better explain away the Trinity and the relationship between each Divine Person of the Trinity. In Islam, the opposite occurred. Those who used Greek philosophy and rhetoric were condemned as either falling into falsehood or corrupting the religion by introducing pagan concepts. Ironically, the most condemned bunch of the Muslim sects I'll talk about below, the Mutazilites were the ones who most used philosophy which led to their rejection of the Quran's non-createdness.
Due to the decline of the Mutazilite sect, the rise of more conservative movements, and the criticism of Aristotelian philosophical ideas by Al-Ghazali (Note, he wasn't against philosophy, he was against philosophical ideas that went against Islam like the eternity of the world and denying bodily resurrection in the afterlife), theological discussions and debates surrounding the question faded away. Even now, most Muslims consider the issue "solved" and simply adopt one of the three main positions. Unsurprisingly, while the West and Christianity continued adopting new ideas, this means the Muslim positions lacked much substance and arguments seen in Christianity with Greek and Neo-Platonist ideas which in turn, means there are tons of problems with their positions, (which is the whole point of the post)
Now, with that out of the way, let's begin.
How Have Muslims Historically Responded to this Problem?
There are two answers to the question of the Quran's status. One, to affirm that it is the literal word of god from Allah Himself which existed with him since eternity or to affirm it is a created being just like every other creature and human planet earth. The second view doesn't mean that the Quran is simply the work of man, quite the opposite. Rather, it posits that the Quran still holds religious significance as Islam's holy book and is still the Word of God but it was created at a later time by God, not existing eternally with god before the creation of everything. In the second view, the Quran still holds religious significance for praying, guidance, and the basis for Islam, only that it is of a lower status than god himself, being a creation of god that was created at a certain time.
The second view is considered invalid and rejected by all major sects of Islam in the modern era (Ashari, Maturidi, Athari) as a heretical belief that the Mutazilites (The Withdrawers) held. I'm not going to go into who they are, what is their history, or what are their beliefs (you can google it yourself). Just know these are the guys who believe the Quran was a creation of god and were condemned by pretty much every Islamic group and sect from their beginning all the way up to the present modern day. This is one the only issues where every Islamic sect agrees with each other in condemning this belief, be it Ashari, Maturidi, or Athari. Thus, the second option then is 100% of the table for most Muslims, unless they want to affirm holding beliefs of a heretical group that died out 1000 years ago. I don't think any Muslim will dare to affirm Mutazilite beliefs for fear of ridicule and committing major sins, so there's much here to discuss. For the sake of brevity, I will address the second view since the one even Muslims will deny and reject. After that, I'll address the Second View.
The Second View
But for the sake of argument, I'll assume some rare brave Mutazilite Muslim wants to give it a try. Now, here are some of my questions for you. If the Quran is a creation of god and not the literal Word of God before time immemorial, what is the Quran's relationship with god? You believe these are still words from Allah that help mankind to arrive at the truth and Islam yet at the same you also believe that these were created at a time later than god. How can something that is both speech from god and also created by god himself exist simultaneously at the same time? Anything that is created at a later time means it's a creation, a contingent object that depends on an external creator. It can't be part of god because god is eternal, atemporal, necessary, and independent of everything and anything. If it were god or contained some part of god inside of it, then this is no different than Jesus and the Son of God in Christianity where it contains both a human and godly nature, so does that mean you now believe the Quran to be both god and creation? Just like the Christians who you condemn as a false corrupted religion? This is the First Problem you must face, that be affirming it is both from god and not god, you are throwing yourself into the same pit as Christianity with a dual nature which is already a false religion. I like to call people who affirm this stance "Dualists".
The Second Problem "dualists" face is that this nullifies the Quran's honorific status in Islam, which goes against what the majority of the Muslim world believes in. For Dualists, what is the Quran's honorific and spiritual status in Islam now? We've all seen Muslim riots and protests against the burning or stepping on the Quran by non-Muslims around the world. A man burns or rips up the Quran and the entire Muslim world goes into a frenzy. In Islam, simply placing the Quran on the floor is considered disrespectful and sinful. In the majority of sects today, the Quran must be honored and respected 24/7 partly due to the fact Muslims believe it to be the literal Word. But for Dualists, what is your stance and reason for continuing to respect the Quran? Considering you no longer believe the Quran to be the actual Word, can non-Muslims now vandalize, rip apart, step on, or place the Quran on the floor?? Would you have any problem with it? It's no longer the Word itself but a creation of god. Sure, you might ask others to "respect other religions and beliefs" but aside from this, what else do you have?? Is simply putting a religious book on the floor disrespecting other religions? What makes your holy book now any different from the Jewish and Christian perspectives on their religious books? They don't go into a frenzy every time Bibles are burned or disrespected. Will you do the same thing?
The Third Problem since it's a created thing, wouldn't this also mean that at some point in the future, the Quran no longer exists? That the Quran is finite and will at some point cease to exist? Wouldn't this mean at some point, Islam itself becomes useless because the number one source for everything, the Quran no longer exists? The Quran will cease to exist if it were created, when it happens, will the meaning of the verses and Muslim understanding built up over the centuries also cease to exist? Tafsirs, Fiqh, and Tajwid all suddenly become useless and void of any meaning because the backbone of Islam, the Quran no longer exists. What about the Muslim understanding of what Allah is? Isn't that detrimental should the Quran cease to exist? The best outcome is that Muslims still retain the knowledge but Islam becomes spineless without a religious book and the worst outcome is the complete disintegration of Islam as everything built upon the Quran, now becomes useless. It would mean the complete death of Islam as a major Abrahamic religion.
Next, what about during the Hour, when everything in the heavens and on the Earth will be destroyed and no longer exist? Muslims believe that when the Hour arrives, everything will be destroyed. Every human, child, animal, plant, planet, universe, devil, and angel will die inevitably. Only god remains. Due to this, according to Dualists, will the Quran experience the same fate? All of its verses and Surahs destroyed by god himself. Now I know Muslims, even those of other sects believe the Quran will disappear bit by bit before the Hour as a sign of the impending doom and apocalypse. However, other Muslims believe that yes, the Quran will disappear but the verses themselves remain preserved with god i.e. Allah since these are the literal words of god himself. In a sense, the verses suddenly don't exist, they return back to god.
TLDR, the Dualist Mutazilite view implies a contradiction where the Quran is both God and not God at the same time, it nullifies the Quran's holy status and the divine meaning of the verses, and last, it means the Quran is finite and will cease to exist at some point in the future.
Now, onto the Ashari, Maturidi and Athari sects,
The First View (The Majority)
These three are the most prominent and widely held doctrinal sects in the current Muslim population. I will be splitting the next sections into two sections, Ashari-Maturidi (since both are quite similar and considered a single unified school of thought by Muslim scholars) and the Athari school.
Ashari-Maturidi
The Asharis and Maturidis believe the Quran and its verses to be the literal Word of God itself, with Allah since eternity before time however they believe the book form of the Quran (mushaf), the one which every Muslim holds and reads is of man-made origin. In other words, the verses, sentences, letters, and meaning of the text are from god himself while the cover, paper, ink, writing, and publishing are from mankind. The Ash'ari creed makes a point of difference between the content of the Quran and the physical manifestation of it (in speech or as pages in a book).
The Main Problem with this argument as said by Atharis and Mutazilites is that this strips the Quran of its spiritual and holy essence in Islam. If the real divine aspect of the Quran that came from god itself are the verses and meaning of it only, then should we burn every last Quran in the world, it wouldn't be a problem. After all, the divine part still exists as it is from and with god himself, only the earthly worldly portions of it get destroyed. Why's that a problem? I mean what is the problem spiritually concerning Islam's doctrinal theology itself? What's the problem with destroying the cover or vandalizing the writing of it? It's not from god, it's man-made. The effect of this would be enormous.
This means now non-Muslims and Islamaphobes can now burn, rip, tear apart, step on, vandalize, and desecrate the Quran because they are only destroying the part that is not divine. Would Asharis or Maturidis agree to this? Is now destroying the Quran not a major sin but actually allowed? The true essence of the Quran i.e. the part that is truly divine remains preserved and exists since humans were created and will continue to exist long after everything has died and withered away. The vandalization and desecration of it does not affect the Quran because the true divine verses and meaning remain preserved. This problem is similar to the Second Problem with the Mutazilite belief, it nullifies and strips away the Quran's holy status and honorific place among the Muslim community. If it isn't truly god's divine word, what's the problem if it gets destroyed, wet, or burned?
Heck, I've heard this same argument from other sects, claiming and accusing the Ashari are just Mutazilites in disguise because their main stance of the Quran's identity revolves back to the Mutazilite position where the Quran is a creation of god. One of the main accusations against the Ashari sect is that it's just a rehash version of Mutazilite or Jahmiyyah theology (I don't have time to explain what this is right now, better if you look it up yourselves) due to similarities in doctrine and also because Imam Ashari, the founder was once a Mutazilite himself (not helping the Ashari case) but Asharis claim he renounced all Mutazilite theology and returned back to the true correct path. In this case, should the objection above against the Ashari-Maturidi position succeed, then it would help critics a lot against Asharism.
The Second Problem with holding the Ashari position is that this resembles the idolatry of Hinduism and Paganism or at least, is slipping into idolatry practice. If they claim the Speech of God is contained within the letters, pages, and ink of the Mushaf (the Quran's Uthmanic standardized codex), then how dare they believe the actions of humans can absorb and physicalize the Sacred Divine Speech of God, for Muslims believe god can never be limited by His creatures. This would also mean they believe the ink written on the Quran's pages is a physical intermediary, designed to encapsulate the Speech of God into a physical form, no different than the idols of Hindus and Pagans who believe their idols to be an intermediary or a worldly representation of the True Divine Nature.
Hindus don't claim they worship idols, rather they believe them to be ways to spiritually connect with the divine as a locus for prayer just like how Muslims consider the Kaaba as the direction for prayer, not an idol for worship or as a reminder for believers of the faith similar to how a photo of a spiritual leader is a sign of respect and a daily reminder every-day when you wake up. How is this different than believing the ink inside the Quran holds the truth or emulates the Divine Nature from the Ashari claim? Ashari Muslims affirm the Quran is still the Word of God just represented through a physical form, so how is this not idolatry? Believing that a physical human-made physical manifestation holds the Divine Speech so that followers of Islam can get closer to god?
This would be even worse than the Mutazilites, for committing idolatry whether intentionally or not is a major grave sin in Islam, to the point those that who commit it and do not repent back are considered as Kafir (infidels). If even they aren't committing idolatry and shirk (polytheism), another major sin in Islam, then at the very least, they believe that a divine part of God can be captured inside the ink and pen of writers as if they the Speech of God and the ink become one and the same, another reference to the Christian belief of God having both a Divine and Human Nature. Of course, Muslims and Ashari Muslims consider this to be heretical and blasphemous, but what's the difference between believing the Quran is both man-made and divine versus the Christological belief of Jesus being both God and Man?
The Third Problem with the Ashari answer that the Quran itself is created while the Speech of God isn't is where is the Speech of God then? Asharis can't answer that it is still in heaven for they also believe the Mushaf or Quran contains the Word and Speech of God. If they believe that it is still in heaven with god and not on earth, then what are they even reading every day? Clearly not the Speech of God if they claim it isn't with us now, perhaps an imperfect human copy of the divine Speech of God but that would mean the Quran is imperfect and the work of man, which would be affirming the Mutazilite position. So they can't claim it is both in the heavens and on the earth nor claim it is either in the heavens only or on the earth with mankind only.
I already explained they also can't say the Speech of God is contained inside the ink and letters of the Quran for that means the Divine Speech has become limited because of it. God in Islam can never be limited, nor can His creatures limit god. So if isn't option A, B, or C, where is the Holy Sacred Speech of God then? The Speech which is supposed to be the principle guiding force for all of mankind especially, Muslims. How can Asharis then claim they believe in the Quran as the revelation and Word of God sent down to Muhammad if they can't tell us where in their holy book, is the Speech of God itself? At worst, this means the Ashari belief entails the Quran isn't holy or divine thus eliminating Islam's entire main source and one of the 6 pillars of Iman (faith), and at best, reading the Quran isn't a holy act nor can be used as a book for guidance, for Muslims aren't reading the Word of God then. They are reading an imperfect fallible man-made copy of the Speech of God, not the true Divine Inspiration from Allah.
TLDR, the Ashari-Maturidi middle path that the Quran was uncreated and eternal, yet its ink and paper, individual letters and words were created strips the Quran has multiple problems, some may even go against what Islam stands for. It strips the Quran of its Divine Sacred Essence as the Word of God, at worse it may lead to shirk and idolatry akin to the Hindus and Pagans, and at best, Asharis can't point to us where the Word and Speech of God is in the Quran.
Athari/Ahlul Hadith
Now for the Atharis, they are strict literalists who believe the Quran and Allah's Speech both are uncreated unlike the Asharis/Maturidis who adopt a middle path, or the Mutazilite who outright claim the Quran was created, the extreme position.
The First Problem with the Athari position is pretty clear, if the Quran is the literal Word of God completely, then does that mean what Muslims are holding is a literal piece of God here on earth in the moral realm? Does that mean god is with us all the time? How can god, who Muslims consider as being transcendent be here on earth with mankind? If the Quran is the literal physical Speech of God and not just metaphorically or analogically, then does this mean the Speech of God exists on Earth? How can god be here on Earth? The Atharis believe literally that the Quran is the Speech of God, so unless they claim the Speech of God suddenly transformed into a physical object (which I'll address below), the Quran would be a god or at least have a piece of the divine essence of Allah.
This is no different than the Christian position where there exists a God in heaven and a God on Earth at the same time. As I already mentioned, Muslims consider the Christian position of a god on earth unacceptable yet when we look at their own views, we find (in the Athari case) a piece of god exists on earth. Allah still exists in the heavens, yet the Speech of God exists here in the Quran. Let's not even get into the issue of a transcendent god existing in the mortal physical realm, where the laws of physics govern meaning god would be limited in some capacity (which most Muslims would see as ridiculous)
The Second Problem is the relationship between the Quran (God's Speech) and God himself. Considering the Quran was revealed to Muhammad and sent down by Gabriel, how should we understand the Speech of God is here now? Do Atharis believe that the Speech of God suddenly separated from the main body when the Quran was revealed and sent down to earth? Or do Atharis believe the Quran is still the undivided Speech of God, in which case a part of god is literally on earth?
Or what about when the Quran was compiled in book form starting with Abu Bakr's reign and ending with Uthman's standardization? Should we take this to mean now not only does the Speech of God literally exist on earth but the Speech of God now has taken shape, molded into letters and words while compiled into a book equipped with paper pages and covers from front to back? If they want to deny these are from god i.e. the physical cover is man-made, then they would be subscribing to the Ashari-Maturidi doctrine of the middle path (which I already showed also has problems). If they want to take the other path and claim the Quran we have now is not the Word of God literally, then they would be subscribing to the heretical Mutazilite position which also, has tons of religious and doctrinal problems.
TLDR, the Athari literalist position invites more harm than good when it comes to answering the question of the Quran's uncreated nature. It would mean god is literally on earth, or a piece of god's divine essence is. Affirming that a piece of the Divine Essence exists here on earth with mankind would be something similar to the Christian belief that god exists both in the heavens and on earth (Father and Son). Other than that, it would also complicate the relationship between the Quran and God even more. If the Quran is the literal Word and Speech of God, how do Atharis explain the Quran's standardization into a single written book with ink, paper, and covers? Does it mean the Speech of God underwent a physical transformation?
Consequences
Islam posits the Quran to be the Word of God from Allah Himself, however how exactly does that work leads to massive problems within Islam's doctrinal framework. Muslims can't state the Quran is the true literal Speech of God otherwise they would be committing a blasphemous act by believing god is literally on earth with us at this very moment. They also can't deny it is the Speech of God for Islam considers the Quran to be the perfect Kalamullah (literally the Word of God). It is one of the core tenets of belief that Muslims believe the Quran to be the actual Words of God sent down to Muhammad as the last revelation. They also can't adopt a middle path like the Asharis-Maturidis because I've already shown that this just leaves the Quran inside a grey area, it's both the Word of God and also not the Word of God at the same time. Other problems are also relevant which I've already discussed above. Either the middle approach collapses into itself, becoming either one the extreme views, literal divine affirmation like the Atharis, or the extreme divine nullification like the Mutazilites.
Other religions don't have this problem. They do not believe Jesus or Moses were gifted the actual literal Words and Speech of God which existed since time immemorial. Christians believe the Bible was divinely authored by the Apostles of Jesus, where the Holy Spirit guides the writers of the Bible into writing down the true teachings of Jesus and Christianity. Christians don't believe the Bible's passages are the literal Speech of God which has existed with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit as if affirming the Bible was also another Divine Person of the Trinity. No, only Muslims as far as I know affirm both their Holy Book contains the Speech of God which both exists on Earth and also with God up in heaven but that leaves them in a contradiction of whether to affirm the Quran is God Himself on Earth or the true Words of God are still up in heaven. After all, how can the Divine Nature which is uncorrupted and perfect exist in a world not perfect, but actually filled with sin, corruption, and spiritual pollution?
In the end, Muslims face a dilemma with regard to the Quran's Holy and Divine Nature. This a dilemma which after going through all the possible Muslim answers that have been given over the years, still fails to give us a proper satisfying answer.
Conclusion
All the responses and viewpoints of the major Islamic sects fail to answer the question, of whether the Quran is created or not. They tried to square a circle by trying to find a balance between affirming the Quran is the divine Word of God while at the same time not falling into a literalist interpretation where god is on Earth (as the Atharis do). However, all responses so far have failed to properly find the right solution, all either fall into extremities at both ends of the spectrum (Mutazilite and Athari) or tried to strike a balance, but only managed to kick the can down the road even further.
If Christianity has the Problem of the Trinity, a major fundamental question that still has philosophers and theologians scratching their heads trying to find an answer, then the Problem of the Quran's Nature is the Islamic version of it. The difference is while Christians continue to debate and argue about the Trinity's true nature, Muslim and Islamic scholars have relatively abandoned the debate, choosing to hold either one of the three major schools of thought. My personal opinion is this is an unfortunate situation, ever since the decline of philosophy in Islamic thought, Kalam and Falsafah (Islamic philosophy) have gained a bad reputation amongst Muslims as being a "gateway to blasphemy". Rarely you will find Muslim scholars in the modern era debate about this, let alone teach laymen Muslims about these topics.
At the very least, I hope my post can inspire future Muslims to look into this topic further, creating new fascinating answers and arguments that contribute to the Muslim and non-Muslim understanding of what Allah is in Islam.

For backround, matagal na ko (26F) may bipolar disorder and since highschool ko kilala yung SO (28M) ko. He is aware of all my problems and struggles and he's been my best friend ever since.
Recently, I've been getting better and handling all my challenges really well kahit mag-isa ako and mas self-aware na ko ngayon. Di na ko nagpapadala sa emotions and mas rational na din ako mag-isip. But since I started my journey of taking control of my disorder, napapansin ko na mas nagiging aware na din ako sa mga relationship problems namin.
Important to note, we started out as highschool friends pero he became the boyfriend of my bully. Aware naman sya na inaaway and binubully ako nung girl but dahil naging close kami, I didn't let that get in the way of our friendship since nauna kaming friends before nya jowain yung bully ko lol. Lumayo ako nung naging too much na si girl, but he kept pushing na maging close parin kami, so nung nag break sila mas lalo kami naging close and basically buong buhay ko kwinento ko na sakanya kasi naging mag best friend na din kami. Ilang beses ko na din inamin sakanya before na may gusto ako sakanya but lagi nya ko nirereject kasi di pa daw sya ready, but we didn't let that ruin the friendship. It's an important part of the story kasi I think it'll help build lang yung structure kung san kami nagstart, and bakit ako nagka mental problems in the first place.
Come college, naging mag schoolmate ulit kami and dun ako nakaramdam na parang nirereciprocate na nya yung feelings ko kasi naging sweeter and clingier sya sakin. By the time na on the verge of being together na kami, nagka encounter sya with his ex na muntik may mangyari sakanila, so I cut him off kasi super sakit.
Fast forward, things worked out kasi I realized sya lang yung meron ako in my life that time considering na sya lang yung best friend ko and I reached out again kaya naging kami months or a year after pero super nahirapan ako nung first few years of our relationship kasi may pagkaselfish sya na I had to always be available for intimacy kahit hindi ako pinapayagan ng parents ko lumabas. Ang dami kong adjustment na ginawa for him, mala pumapayag sa mga hindi gusto levels lol. It took years para maging mas selfless sya and eventually we improved and grew so much as a couple na feeling ng lahat ng tao ideal kami for each other.
Nung lumala yung disorder ko, he was there for me through and through until I reached this point na feeling ko I can handle it na. Pero eto yung mahirap na part kasi I learned to love and take care of myself so napapaisip na ko minsan, bakit ganun?
Ilang beses ko na sinabi na I feel left out and lonely kasi lagi sya nakatutok sa phone nya, pero hindi parin nya nacoconsider yung wasted time together namin kasi kahit nagkkwento ako, titingin sya sa phone nya. Ilang beses ko na sinabi na dapat itreat nya ko as a partner talaga especially pag may kailangan sya, pero nagsasarili parin sya, tapos when I get upset kasi hindi sya naging considerate sakin as a partner, feeling nya inaaway ko lang sya and I'm upset for no reason. Ilang beses ko na sinabi sakanya na pag may arguement kami wag nya ko basta iiwan sa ere kasi nagsspiral ako, pero tutulugan nya ko.
Before kasi never ko cinoconsider yung gusto ko, kung okay ba sakin, or if sasaya ba ko, I always just did what would make him happy kasi wala akong love for myself. Ngayon nahanap ko na yung self respect ko and narerealize ko na kung ano yung mga gusto at ayaw ko, and willing na ko ivoice out yun VS dati na oo lang ako ng oo. But don't get me wrong sobrang caring din naman nya, gusto nya inaalagaan nya ko and tinutulungan, he loves doing things for me and kahit pano may adjustments parin syang ginagawa for me.
Medyo mahirap iexplain pero feeling ko kasi it's a MUST na maging stable ako kasi lagi nya sinasabi he'll be happy pag happy na ko, pero ngayon na medyo kinakaya ko na, parang bigla ko nang napapansin na bakit ikaw minor nalang pinapaconsider ko sayo para hindi ako macast aside as a partner, but ilang years ko na brinibring up yung same issues to no avail?
Kaya ko naisip na baka ako yung gago is because I feel selfish na he's been with me and he got me through my darkest times, pero ngayon na umookay ako, nagiging aware na ko bigla sa mga di ko gusto. Yung parang nung nahanap ko self worth ko, biglang ayoko na to deal with his shit? Feeling ko ang sama kong tao kasi tinulungan nya ko for years pero ngayon bigla ko nang napapansin yung things I don't like about our relationship. Gusto ko lang malaman if I am being cruel for thinking na baka kaya pala kami nagwork before is because he is a savior and I needed saving pero ngayong nasasave ko sarili ko biglang hindi pala kami compatible.
Thanks in advance.

Hey since the forums are no longer a thing I thought i'd advertise it on here. I used to be part of a clan named Slayer Society. Since I came to osrs I've looked for specific Slayer clans or chat's and I haven't found any. So I've decided to make my own friends chat channel. The name is Slayer Society. If you're training Slayer and wanna chill and talk join or if you have any questions about Slayer. Its everyone's favorite skill lol. Hope to See yall

If you are struggling with Step 1, trust me, I understand you. I am not a strong test taker and I struggle with testing anxiety. Having to go through this exam 3 times nearly broke me. If you passed, congratulations, I'm so relieved and happy for you! If you failed, I know how you feel and I hope my story can motivate you because you are an amazing and capable. If you are studying and stressing out, please keep your head up because if I can pull through this, you definitely can.
My story summarized:
I took 2 months of step 1 dedicated last year and saw on reddit that people would pass with low 60s on NBMEs. I thought to take it once I hit a 62 on NBME and a 60+ on Free 120 (my school would not let me push it back any further). I came out of that test shattered as it did not feel like anything I've ever taken before; the question STEMs were long and I was constantly running out of time. After my initial F, I tried to retake it immediately, ~5 weeks after my first attempt so that I could quickly get back on track with school. I hired a tutor and started Bootcamp. I thought I just needed to show consistency so I got 62 and a 67 on two NBMEs. I went into that test feeling so confident and felt great after the test; the question stems were short & sweet and I didn't have a time issue. I was confident that I passed. When I received that second F, I cannot truly describe that feeling but I wouldn't hope it for anyone. I had to take a year off on LOA to fix my depression and anxiety disorder that resulted from this traumatic experience.
I started truly studying for this exam in January of this year and took the exam 4/19. I told myself that I would not sit for this exam again until I've scored in the 70+ consistently on NBMEs and fixed my confidence. This was my last chance taking the step 1 exam as a third failure results in dismissal from my school. I think that added pressure on top of my testing anxiety was something that took ALOT of time with counseling and self reflection/growth to heal from. My initial date was 4/10 but I was having extreme physical pain that week and my practice score dropped from 78 to 60, so I, not wanting to repeated my mistake in the past, extended my LOA so I could take the exam 4/19. I took another practice exam to make sure I was confident and got a 69%. It wasn't the 70+ I wanted but my counselor told me that I may never feel confident, but I have been meeting my score goals consistently and having prepared for this exam for, essentially a year now, I did not want to burn out so I took the exam. Here are my stats this time: 4/15/24: 69% (Form 29), 4/7/24: 60% (Form 28), 4/4/24: 78% (Form 26), 3/15/24: 74% (Form 30), 2/29/24: 69% (Form 31), 2/15/24: 65% (Form 25), 2/1/24: 66% (Form 27).
I can honestly say I feel like I truly understand the material and am able to think about things clinically, which is something I could not have said for my first two attempts.
To note, I don't think everyone needs 70+ on NBMEs to pass, but if you have testing anxiety, tend to struggle with timed tests, have ADD, or easily get shaken from a "bad section," then you should aim for 70+ (timed, and as close to the exam environment as possible) to be able to sit for the real thing. Cudos to those who did it without but I think that not having 3+ NBMEs >65% is a risk. Look at me, I took those risks and failed twice before. I don't want that for you.
Prior to and Exam day:
I visited the testing center twice before my test date to familiarize myself with it. I checked out the bathrooms and saw the common area. This test was also and mental and emotion task for me, so knowing my environment was important.
I studied the day before because I am just not the type to take a day off before the exam - my anxiety could not let me just rest. I slept maybe 4 hours (don't recommend it but I don't usually sleep before big events so 4 was good for me). I had my partner drive me so I could just decompress in the car and did not have an appetite but forced myself to eat a banana. I took an ibuprofen as I knew I tend to get stress headaches/cramps along the test, which usually really affected me.
The first section was terrible (wanted to just fight the computer screen) but I lied to myself that it was gonna be one of my best sections so I am not gonna worry about it. I took each section like its own thing, not letting the previous affect me. I realized that timing was not as forgiving on this as NBMEs so I made myself go through all the questions so that I could have 5 minutes to check unanswered or marked ones. I think I marked 18 in 3 sections (which was freaky) but again, told myself not to worry about them. Overall, 3 sections felt terrible and the rest felt okay to meh. I calmed myself down because I told myself that I've seen thousands of step 1 questions at this point as I've completed Uworld Qbank, Amboss Qbank, all available online NBMEs, free 120, and taken this exam twice); I think this reassurance made a huge difference in not allowing my testing anxiety to affect me. Trust me, it wasn't smooth sailing though and I think adrenaline carried me through this test.
I did not know how to feel after my exam as it didn't feel as difficult as my first attempt but not as "easy" as my second attempt. However, my 6 NBMEs were 65-78% (with the exception of 1 at 60%) this time, so I just told myself to trust my score. I knew I missed a handful of easy ones but also felt reassured when I looked up the ones I guessed and saw that I had guessed most of them correctly.
Waiting 4 weeks for my score was torture. I prayed, cried, distracted myself with video games, and spent time with friends.
Overall I am so happy to finally move on with my life bc it felt like limbo for the past year. If you want to hear what worked for me the third time around, you can read more below.
What didn't work for me:

• I have never learned well with textbooks. I don't know why I thought using First-Aid as the foundation of my study prep was a good idea. I was also trying to do thousands of Anki when I was always struggling to keep up with ANKI in med school. You know what works for you as you've studied all your life to get to this point in medical school. FA/Anki might be the holy grail for some people but if that's not your learning style or how you learn best, use other options!
• I took tests on my laptop at home for my first two attempts. You might not know it, but you may be a little too comfortable so try to go to a library where there are desktop computers and simulate the real deal.

What did work for me:

• Bootcamp and Uworld! I am a visual learning and Bootcamp videos/short quizzes really helped me ground my foundation in. However, it was unsuspending the Uworld Q's associated with the Bootcamp topic to see if I really understood the lecture material was what made a difference. I kept a spreadsheet of the Bootcamp topic completion, its associated UWorld Qbank completion, and the percentage right. Anything under 50% was a fail, 60-69% was border, and 70% was pass. I would redo my failed sections and take extra time to review my border sections. Another option for qbank is Amboss.
• Mehlman PDFs. Please, please review Mehlman's HY arrows PDFs. This is the single document that boosted my score to 70+. I did it 4x over (1 to get through it, 2 to redo the wrong ones, 3 to redo it all Qs the week before the test, and 4 to redo the wrong ones on the second attempt). I did his biochem sections and his biostats questions the week before the exam, which was a big help. I heard his risk factor PDFs were good, but I didn't have time to do that.
• NBMEs, use them as a resource! I would see the same topics come up again and again for each NBME. I know their explanation sucks but try to just understand what topic/concept they are trying to get you to know. Some people say this inflates your score but familiarizing yourself with HY topics that get tested time and time again is studying smart. I made Quizlet flashcards on each question I got wrong from forms 25-31 and Free 120. Yeah, I used quizlet bc I hated Anki and seeing Anki demoralized me, so I had to use a different flashcard medium. Quizlet actually has an AI feature to ask you questions and give explanations based on your flashcards, and I think this is pretty cool.
• For Micro and Pharm, I used Sketchy.

If you have any questions or need moral support, feel free to DM me. I'm done with step 1, and I'll see you on the other side!

Hi everyone! I'm a 28-year-old guy from the Netherlands, and, like many people here, I'm here hoping to find my person! This is what I look like: https://imgur.com/a/yh4Fz1c
I see myself as a gentle and kind-hearted person. I'm the kind of person who gets teary-eyed when seeing a cute animal, and there are lots of animals I find cute lol.
I've never dated before, as I've mainly been focused on studying and (for the last couple of years) work, so bear with me.
I work as an English/Dutch teacher at a language school for refugees, so they can get an education and find a job in the Netherlands. Besides that, I do freelance translation and language teaching as well. I'm a huge language and linguistics nerd, and if we click, I'll probably want to learn your native language(s)!
Besides my work, I also volunteer at an organisation that works with conservation projects for reptiles and amphibians. I sometimes do presentations and animal handling demonstrations, but my main tasks are behind the scenes, proofreading and translating content for the website and social media.
My hobbies/interests include gaming (board games,collectible card games, video games, D&D), cooking, reading, nature/animals, and of course language. If you look at my bookshelf, around 1/3 is manga, 1/3 is cookbooks, and the remaining 1/3 is language or linguistics books. I have a few books on nature and animals as well, but not enough to make up a significant portion of my bookshelf (yet). I tend to ramble on about the things I find interesting, so I'll apologize in advance! I love to travel, I've been to 15 countries, and am always planning or brainstorming future trips.
I like cooking and think I'm decent at it, but suck at baking and making desserts, so if you're good at those but bad at cooking, we'll complement each other well!
Feel free to send me a message if you're interested! I'd prefer to talk to someone at least in Europe because of travel distance and time zones, but that's not a hard limit :)

Hi everyone! I'm a 28-year-old guy from the Netherlands, and, like many people here, I'm here hoping to find my person! This is what I look like: https://imgur.com/a/yh4Fz1c
I see myself as a gentle and kind-hearted person. I'm the kind of person who gets teary-eyed when seeing a cute animal, and there are lots of animals I find cute lol.
I've never dated before, as I've mainly been focused on studying and (for the last couple of years) work, so bear with me.
I work as an English/Dutch teacher at a language school for refugees, so they can get an education and find a job in the Netherlands. Besides that, I do freelance translation and language teaching as well. I'm a huge language and linguistics nerd, and if we click, I'll probably want to learn your native language(s)!
Besides my work, I also volunteer at an organisation that works with conservation projects for reptiles and amphibians. I sometimes do presentations and animal handling demonstrations, but my main tasks are behind the scenes, proofreading and translating content for the website and social media.
My hobbies/interests include gaming (board games,collectible card games, video games, D&D), cooking, reading, nature/animals, and of course language. If you look at my bookshelf, around 1/3 is manga, 1/3 is cookbooks, and the remaining 1/3 is language or linguistics books. I have a few books on nature and animals as well, but not enough to make up a significant portion of my bookshelf (yet). I tend to ramble on about the things I find interesting, so I'll apologize in advance! I love to travel, I've been to 15 countries, and am always planning or brainstorming future trips.
I like cooking and think I'm decent at it, but suck at baking and making desserts, so if you're good at those but bad at cooking, we'll complement each other well!
Feel free to send me a message if you're interested! I'd prefer to talk to someone at least in Europe because of travel distance and time zones, but that's not a hard limit :)

Greetings!
Let us move back to energy work.
"Teacher, why do they think so much?"
"Why do you think at all?! You're no better than them!" The pupils teacher wacked him on the crown of his head.
"!OUCH! Why would you do that!"
"It stopped you thinking, did it not?"
We of J believe humans are scared to feel the pain of thinking because of emissions from radio-towers stabbing your meridians when you think too deeply.
It is due to the pain in other words that thinking, especially thinking hard, causes that makes one feel dizzy, angry or an array of different feelings.
Thinking is many times easier and more pleasant in wifi free zones, we believe.
We of J believe that if one were to use the totality of their inner strength toward thinking really hard, the rebound would cause what humans understand as spaciousness or the meditative state since the flow of energy within the 'thinking chakra,' what humans call the 'Default Mode Network,' would travel toward the pineal gland and then, out into the universe.
J believe that if one were to use the totality of their thinking power, it would squeeze blood toward the pineal gland. It seems J believe wifi has the ability to cut off blood-flow into the pineal gland.
We of J believe negative entities have a great many humans 'sleeping,' by cutting off the connection the cerebral cortex has with the pineal gland. We of J believe that thinking is a most pleasant and enjoyable experience and is very orgasmic, however, in your world, it literally hurts.
J believe that the Elites created wifi to make thinking deep enough to have pineal experiences hurt so we would stop bothering to try. This was possibly in response to how close humanity came in the 60's - 70's to realizing the oneness of all things.
A deep thought is an analogy for the experience of travelling into the pineal gland - it feels very orgasmic to the point that many humans cannot handle it, now, thinking deeply makes people angry in your world - it never used to, we of J believe.
Our instrument was trained to traverse your lands and adapt to your wifi signals, but this process is most difficult and requires the pain killer 'THC,' which we of J believe, expands the meridians to nullify pain in flow of north facing magnetic energy.
We of J think nature is so apolorized to wifi, that going into nature and grounding between the Sun and the Earth could be a potential awakening method for many of your world, one would feel continuously better each day spent outside in the Sun and with ones bare feet to the ground.
We of J believe many of those who live with nature have a name for the pain wifi causes to ones meridians and when such animals or humans are tasked with being within what you understand as cities, they have to use so much thought-power, it can make them dizzy or sometimes disorientated until they become used to it.
Spaciousness is attained when the pineal gland is pressurized by the default mode network, after pressurization, a host of hormones are released into the body including DMT, our instrument was required to become used to the dizziness it invokes and teach humans about it on this website.
If these have any questions, please, do ask.

I've posted before, it's been a couple years but I still haven't found you. It's so weird. I've been sat here for almost an hour typing and retyping this- I don't know what. I didn't like it, it felt like writing some kind of personal resume, and starting over and over again not knowing what to say or how to say it. But now, when I'm writing to you, when I'm imagining that you'll read it, it just comes so much more easily. It's sad, in a way. I definitely felt it in my chest there, anyways. That realization that I have so many things to say, but I only want to say them to you.
I want you to know that I still think about you. You never really take a physical shape, but sometimes, a lot of times, as I fall asleep I linger in waking for a little longer just to feel you pressed against me, I feel your heart of kindness, I see bright eyes looking up at me. It seems pretty strange to me to imagine eyes like that, to remember the look, but never the color. I guess that's because I haven't met you, but I know that emotion, I can feel it, it's my own same as it's yours. I find a lot of strength in the those moments, in knowing that you're out there, somewhere, someone kind and beautiful who has her heart set on magic.
I want you to know that I still believe in that magic. I'll never stop believing in it. But I don't think I'll be posting anymore. I know you're out there. And I hope in a way that makes my heart ache that you find me somehow.
When I was a boy I believed that love was magic and it was all I wanted in life. Now the days are getting longer, and warmer, and soon the world will be overflowing with its own magic. I'll be out there and I hope you will too. It's all so beautiful, and I don't regret a moment of it spent alone. But it would be so nice if we found each other to enjoy it together.

I am falling apart tonight. My girlfriend and I have been living together for almost two years now and it’s been an adjustment. We both have kids from previous relationships and I know blended families are hard. We had four in home till our oldest (her bio) moved out to his own space this year. It’s always been just the two of them and I love her son to pieces. We have had some struggles over the years with our family dynamics and her having different rules for our oldest then for our other three.
We were out driving tonight after the gym we have had a few fights the last few months (mainly over behavior and the rules being different and me feeling like there has been some selfish behavior in her connected to her trauma from her ex) I was feeling rather squishy and I looked at her and said “i m all in, I want you, nothing but you, I want to be your wife and spend our lives together. “ she said “baby I want that to I love You so much and I can’t wait for our lives together” I looked at her and responded with “your going to treat me good and we will love each other and work on things” her response was “ well yeah as long as we don’t have to spend the rest of our lives raising kids and end up having a failure to launch because I’m really worried about it honestly that they will never leave home” our kids are 18(her bio) ( my bio ) 17,15 and 12 she knew going into this that I had three kids. She was the one who asked them if she could be thie parent. That comment hit me like a ton of bricks. Like the way she treated me was dependent on if my kids leave home. It’s been weighing on me all night and it’s all I can think of. I’m sitting here crying because I texted her after she fell asleep saying that I think my three and I need to maybe find a rental close by. That I love her more than anything but I see her struggling and her comments are weighing on my heart. I can’t think of a solution to end the ongoing struggle besides having our separate spaces and just sleeping over and having time together when we can. It’s breaking my heart I haven’t ever loved anyone the way I have her and I thought our family was going to be able to make it through the hard. I just feel so lost right now. I don’t even know what I’m looking for I just needed to be able to put my thoughts down somewhere.

im supposed to be 8 weeks on T as of yesterday. i missed last weeks shot, and i missed yesterdays shot. im doing intramuscular 100ml/mg in my thigh. my boyfriend helps me by actually sticking me, and i push the test. but last week i just couldn’t fucking do it, it was my 2nd 100mg shot and as the days went on i just felt worse and worse physically. my period came back on the 2nd or 3rd late day. i’ve tried everything. i even got shot blockers, the plastic thing. i tried icing it, i tried getting high out of my mind (which doesn’t even fucking work because i get so TERRIFIED i feel sober), i tried putting heating pad on the area beforehand. for my first 6 or so shots i would bite my knuckles really hard and then inject, but i have hypotension that is triggered by my anxiety (i got diagnosed with it specifically because i pass out when getting my blood drawn if i’m sitting up). so when i would push the test, i would almost faint.
i tried music, i tried watching videos of my cat, watching videos of my favorite internet cats. watching twitch streams, watching youtube videos, listening to my favorite songs. i NEED to do this fucking shot. my doses were 25mg first two weeks, 50mg 3rd and 4th weeks, and then 5th week 100mg. my body is missing out on 200mg of test and i can feel the effect it’s having on me . it’s not good.
weeks 1-6 were fine for the most part, i could get it done at least. me and my bf have spent at least 10 hours within the past two weeks trying to do my shot. i got close this time, after two hours. but he kept yapping while i was trying to get back to “base level” aka lock in and calm the fuck down, so i just couldn’t do it past a certain point. i get so terrified. i know it doesn’t hurt. i literally know what it feels like i just can’t fucking do it . i will tell him, “do it” and he will do the Z track with the shot blocker and as soon as he tells me when he’s about to stick me, this TERROR grips me and i have to tell him to stop because i start tweaking. im considering asking my mom if i can just go to her house and inject there so i can hold her hand , just to see if it would work (mind you i don’t even really talk to her ).
i cried this time because i feel so fucking stupid. im fucking up my own hormone levels because im being a pussy about a little metal stick. im not even afraid of needles, i just hate watching them go into skin so whenever my bf sticks me, i look away. now i just can’t do it. i need to do it tomorrow, i have a 30 minute window between me and my bf’s work shifts. please, does anyone have any advice? i am going to get an auto injector, if anyone has any good recs that work for IM thigh and 1ml syringes, please lmk.
has anyone felt the terror im speaking of? this is more than a mental block for me. i’ve tried thinking of it in every single way i can imagine. “you’re taking this shot so kitty doesn’t have to take it. kitty takes it well but it still hurts him, and i don’t want kitty to hurt.” “if you do this then you get to preform sexual act on my bf that i’ve yearned for” “if you don’t do this then your whole family dies” “if you do this then bf will give you mind boggling head as a reward” like I AM OUT OF MENTAL APPROACHES .
please please help me

Now that we know the meta is here to stay, let's talk about everyone's strategies for dealing with it!
-ZIMMERMAN: If you have a shield/buckler these are very easy to deal with, since negating any high damage single shot weapon greatly hampers the enemy's output. Otherwise, dodging isn't as bad as it seems but mostly I try to make sure I don't get kicked. Kicking is one of the biggest ways Zims deal so much damage, and it sounds simple enough but as long as you don't get kicked you'll probably be fine.
-VE-66LRB: These are super deadly, but are almost reactable depending on latency. Never be fully out of energy because you need to dodge them as much as possible since they have more damage and range than zims.
-ETSUJIN: just try to survive lol. Without a shield it's hard to directly face these down, but having high burst damage potential like an EARSHOT definitely evens the playing field.
-Rifle Kites: my best success against these comes from timing your Assault Boost dodges against their HARRIS or RANSERSU-RF shots. If you can find the chance to dodge most of their shots as you close in you can reliably unload your weapons while they start reloading after you take a few shots. Also the most important thing is to watch out for when they try to cross you up and switch sides as you boost in, leaving you distantly behind again.
-Lamm Kites: no easy solution. Make sure you have good energy and energy management, and when you close in to deal damage to them make sure you don't get too close since they'll usually be using the HMMR with BASHO arms, make sure as you come up on them you start dropping down to where they can't reach.
-plasma tanks: die
-Kickin' Chicken: the best ways to avoid a reverse joint kick is to go above or fly close and fast and through to their left side (your right) similar to how you dodge Ayre's slashing attacks.
There's plenty more things to say but I hope we can help each other out! Remember, if you think something is "obvious" it might just help out someone who is new

I’m trying to get my head around Square Enix being disappointed at sales of FFXVI and Rebirth and how they make sales expectations in general.
FFVII Rebirth We don’t actually have sales numbers for it, but we can look at a few things and understand it would sell a lot less than Remake.
Remake sold 7 million as of 2023 across both PC and PS4/PS5. This includes multiple releases and multiple platforms. Even if you just look at PS4, the install base is around 120m compared to 54m of the PS5. Add PC to this (Steam alone has more than 130m monthly users) and you can expect the total install base to be 4-5x that of the PS5 alone.
Remake released during the COVID boom of 2020 just as the pandemic was starting and people were spending more on games. As we’ve seen with other companies and layoffs, this was a temporary boom caused by the pandemic so we’re seeing a return to prior levels in the last year or two.
Also, Rebirth is a story based sequel, and no matter how Square Enix try to spin that anyone can start with Rebirth, at the end of the day, it will always sell less than part 1 because hardly anyone will buy Rebirth unless they’ve already played Remake, and while generally both games have been very well received, you’ll always have people who just didn’t like Remake and aren’t interested in part 2.
FFXVI From what I can find online, although I’ll admit sources aren’t great so happy to be proven wrong here, FFXVI is the 3rd best selling PS5 exclusive on the console. This doesn’t include multi-platform games or games that released on PS4 as well (like Ragnarok). The two games that outsold it were Spider-Man and Rachet and Clank.
Spiderman sold more than 10m, but it’s fucking Spiderman. It has insane mass market appeal, is an action adventure game and reviewed great. It will always be expected to sell more overall than a JRPG, even if it is one of the most well known JRPGs of all time.
The other game above FFXVI is Rachet and Clank, and it didn’t sell that much more than FFXVI, but again, it was one of the first exclusives to the PS5, and plenty of people bought it because it was one of the first games to really show off the power of the PS5 and the new SSD, and at the time your only real options for PS5 exclusives were that or Demon Souls so people were really keen to buy something that made their new PS5 worthwhile.
I have no idea how Square Enix make their sales expectations, and we have 0 sales numbers for Rebirth so it’s hard to comment exactly here, but it seems they’re never happy with what their games sell. Do they actually make expectations based on realistic probabilities, considering market conditions, install base and similar performing games in the genre, or do they just look at the top selling games this year and want a slice of that pie, or perhaps they just slap a straight % increase to their cost of development without considering any other factors about what it’s realistically likely to sell?
At the end of the day, I’m happy they’re stopping console exclusivity. It makes no difference to me what system it comes out on. I’ll pick it up on PC, PS5, Series X or Switch, but I just want the franchise to have the best chance at succeeding so we don’t get a bunch of NFT/Live Service monetisation shite, but I have no idea what sort of magic 8 ball Square Enix uses to predict sales metrics when they constantly proclaim their games have undersold again.

Hello healthy gainers (lol)
My names Chris and I'm attempting to reintegrate myself back into normal society but I don't feel as sharp as I once did. I'll try to describe my circumstances succinctly as I'm seeking some advice.
A few years ago I hit a breaking point and had a bit of breakdown. I had been constantly struggling with normal day to day living and didn't feel appreciated or supported with said struggles. So, I threw everything away and literally went and lived in the woods.
I don't regret doing this in the slightest as my mental health has improved dramatically. I still have some goals I want to achieve in that arena but I am content with my accomplishments and with my trajectory in that department.
However.
A problem has arisen and I'm not sure what to make of it. As mentioned in my introductory sentence, I do not feel as sharp as I did before. I can explain parts of this, as I don't feel constantly on edge like I did before and I didn't interact with anyone meaningfully for a year and some change so some loss in skill is to be expected but I literally feel like there is less depth to my thoughts now.
I feel like before I used to be able to hear one thing and infer 10 more but now it feels like an engine that isn't running. If this is what my mind will be for the rest of my life I'm fine with that, as the alternative would have been killing myself back then. Given the stakes I'd make the same choice. But I guess my question is, does anyone have any experience with something like this and how did it play out for you?
Some side info that may be relevant: I found out after that I am Autistic and have ADHD. Also PTSD although I'm sure that is obvious.
tl:dr - I hope you're having a great day you short attention span people. :)

With Episode 2 having been out for right about 2 weeks by now, I decided to write out my thoughts on it just for fun. Positive thoughts, negative thoughts, and my explanation for the latter.
Let's get started! (There will be a TL;DR at the bottom.)

So what'd I like?

The animation quality is, like in the first episode, phenomenal. The blocky, part cartoonish and part video game-y style is a pleasure for the eyes, the animation feels fluid and energetic, and the characters are super expressive.
The voice acting was similarly great. I don't think there's any character who over- or underdid their role, be it old characters or new ones. As a star example, you could really feel the "I'm so done with this" fatigue in Pomni's voice.
There were also some really funny and/or clever things in the episode, especially when leaning into the virtual nature of the world. Pomni glitching into a box and later using that to spring back to the world, Jax's head staying still while everything else shakes around him, and the truck duplicating (I think it did? That part I'll have to rewatch) stand out to me. It feeds really well into the fact that the world isn't "real".

Thennn... what did I NOT like?

I have some minor complaints to get outta the way first. Some of the jokes were a bit on-the-nose, and jokes related to internet culture will most likely go stale in a while. Also, Caine wasn't there a whole lot, which is a shame since he's the funniest one of the bunch to me.
A slightly bigger complaint I have is tone. Now I don't mind an episode that's more serious or funnier or anything, don't get me wrong. But I feel like this episode was lacking in what made the first one so good to me, that being surreal dark humor. Most of that probably on account of Caine being missing. It just didn't have the same vibe to it.
The biggest one I have, however, is the pacing. We get introduced to Gummigoo, he has a big crisis, him and Pomni talk it out, and he dies... all within 16 minutes of screentime. Hell, from his crisis to his death, there's like 10 minutes. Are we supposed to get that attached to a character that fast? Cuz I felt worse for Pomni losing a friend than him dying (even then not much, as I'll explain below). Which sure, I guess that's probably at least part of what they were going for, but still.
It just feels like so much happens in such little time. We don't know these characters extremely well yet, so I don't feel that attached to them yet. Pomni's speech about how "people in the world she came from also feel like nobodies" felt more shoehorned than emotional, since it's only her second episode on-screen. Not all characters are guilty of this - Ragatha and Jax, for example, were done well imo. We got more insight into their characters, but not in a rushed way. But with Pomni and the whole Gummigoo thing, it felt too fast for me. Too much in too short a time.

But why?

All those complaints aside, it's not like I don't understand where at least some of it might come from. Episode 1 was a massive success, which I don't think they could've ever prepared for. With that big a fanbase after just one episode, the fans' expectations are through the roof. So they have to provide.
I imagine that, in their eyes, if the 2nd episode had been uneventful or took things too slow, the fans would be disappointed. They want to see action, they want to see development! They want to see what happens in the new world and they want to see what the new characters are all about! So they put a lotta action and new development... which, to me, they overshot it. In trying to make the episode interesting enough to fill the fans' expectations - after seven months since the 1st episode, which at the time of writing this has 319 million views - they wanted to rather put in too much than too little.
Now of course, this is all theorizing. I don't know what goes on at Glitch Productions, so I might be talking outta my ass here. But I do think it makes some amount of sense, considering how long it took to make the new episode, and how big of a fanbase they were serving the second one to. They wanted to provide, and that they did! Just too much too fast for my tastes.
(Also Caine missing is probably just to give more screentime to Gummigoo and the rest of the gang. Which I get it, having him around so much too would've made the episode even more bloated.)

TL;DR

Overall I like the 2nd episode, but not as much as the first. The technical quality, like animation and voice acting, are still amazing (get it?), but I feel like the episode tried to have development happen too fast, for how little we've seen of these characters so far. My theory for that is Glitch wanting to make sure the new episode comes close to their enormous fanbase's expectations, and in doing that, they settled for putting in too much than not enough.
If you made it this far, or just read the TL;DR, I'd like to hear your thoughts. Do you feel the same way? Do you think I'm onto something? Or do you think I'm completely and utterly wrong and should be thrown into the fudge lake? I'm curious to know!

My boyfriend and I have been together 2+ years. We live together in a small rural town that’s low cost, but also low opportunity. I’m originally from Chicago and would like that to be our next move, eventually anyway. He’s a very sweet, introverted man who always does the best he can for me. I make sure to do the same.
He’s been stressing lately about the stability of our future. We’re currently paying down our personal debts and interested in school, better jobs, and moving out of town. But we can’t afford the cost nor the time/energy to study and take classes right now. In order to do all of that, he’s saying he would have to sacrifice our relationship and that’s killing him. I don’t know how to get around this either.
With the way things are these days, we both have to work FT to keep things smooth. He knows I hate working and have trouble a lot of the time because I have hormone issues that keep me from performing at my 100%. He loves to work and have his efforts pay off and show. He wants to be able to work so that I can cut back and focus on other things. But we cannot do that because we don’t have the energy or money for higher education (loans are NOT ideal rn). He feels like we would have to breakup to achieve what we want but that would be counterproductive to us now.
How do we go about building stability for ourselves?? How do I take some of this pressure off of him? I think he’s starting to feel the stress physically and it’s breaking my heart because he’s going it for me and us…

Hey everyone! I'm new here on Reddit, a 21 y/o male from the Philippines looking for also male friends! Ever need a dependable friend who can make you laugh yet can also be there for you during the tough shit? Me too! Let's be that for each other then!
Some things about me, I love PC gaming (so if u wanna play some time lmk!), a casual fan of F1, and starting to learn how to play tennis! Favorite music genre tends to be rock (especially punk rock, pop rock, pop punk) but I listen to anything! I also absolutely love bad jokes its unreal. Now I realize I'm not rly that interesting after all haha.
Feel free to send me a chat if you think we'll get along. I don't mind which timezone or country you're from! Just tell me your ASL because I wanna know who I am talking to. Would also be willing to voice chat down the line if we get along! See ya soon, friend!

I am 24 about to be 25. Just graduated from college due to taking two years off during covid. It feels like everyone I know is getting engaged or married. Either that or traveling around the globe. I'm just getting around to finding a job. Feels like all my peers are already years into successful careers. But my goodness, it feels like I am so behind in my life. Deep down I know 25 is so young in the grand scheme of things, but being fresh out of college and living at your parents really makes you feel like a kid. Some of the people I went to highschool with already have multiple kids. At what point does life stop feeling like a competition against those you grew up with? I feel like everyone around me has moved on and I'm still stuck in the covid years. What were you doing at 25? Maybe it's the insomnia speaking, but I can't help but think I should be further along in life than I am. Comparison really is the thief of joy. If you were ever in a similar place as I am at 25, how did life work out for you?

Sorry, little story/rant...
I got into the hobby in 2013 while being in university. Was in a big city and had a community and talks with people.
After starting a job and lots of changes in my life, I stopped Warhammer. Recently, I got back into it and call me old, but being a bit more experienced and structured, I feel like I have more patience and work much more focused. I finished my 1,6k Necrons and am about to finish my Grey Knight army and are looking forward to get to restart on my Orks.
Comparing my work now and back then, I have been very happy with my progress. Not only that I actually finish projects now, I feel that the level of painting has increased a lot.
Since I live in a small town now with no 40k community or stores around me, I decided to look into this reddit community to get in touch with people and share my passion for the hobby. Maybe it's a internet thing, but the pictures of your work and your minis are incredible. Some of the paint job, creativity and base design is so off the charts that I kinda start questioning what I'm doing. Although I was happy with my personal progress, comparing my minis to those posted here is a humbling experience at the very least. At times I feel like my 2 year old twins showing me what the "painted". Dont get me wrong, I love everything they draw me, but objectively, they throw their pens at the a piece of paper and what sticks, sticks.
I kinda feel like that comparing my minis to yours... I actually don't know what I'm trying to accomplish with this post. I'm enjoying your work and love to see more. At the same time, it feels demoralizing. Does that make any sense? Am I overreacting? Does it get better?

I(23F) have known i was queer since i was 13. I care about my parents but theyre very conservative especially when it comes to marriage. Marriage in our family is kind of a sad affai, youre not allowed to smile or choose your own clothes, or even talk to the groom til the day of the wedding. Dancing, music etc. Is also frowned upon. No romance or happiness behind it, it's an oddly serious affair. So I've never seen the appeal of marriage. Most of the weddings end up being abusive towards the girl becauze of how conservative we are and how young they are. Most narriages happen at 19 to 21. My parents have agreed to wait till im 24 to 25. I dont have a lot of time left.
So my parents havebeen pusing marriage as an inevitability and i dont know what to do. I have a girlfriend of 5 years who i want to marry, my own way, but theyll never agree and everyday my future feels muddled.
Feels like my queerness has impacted my relationship with my parents since i realised i was gay. Just idk the fact that someday they will end up disowning me hangs over my head as an inevitability of life and it's been hard, living with people who would not hesitate to beat the life out of me and throw me out of the house if they found out. I know this because it happened to my cousin, she isnt even gay. Just wanted to marry a guy she wanted to. They thrashed her and threw her in her room and locked it. And she hung herself there and I am scared thats what will happen to me. I resent then for making me have to choose between them and a happy marriage to someone i genuinely care about. All that resentment has piled up and I can't talk to them withoutbfeeling on the defense all the time.
I'm terrified of my choices hurting my parents after everything they've invested in me. The heratbreak and suffering and betrayal and shame they'll face. My mother used to have depression. She is okay now but what if I leave and she hangs herself. They keep bringing proposals and rishtas and I can't say no for much longer. Been feeling like if I die things will be alright. My gf will move on, my parents will never know their daughter was gay. I've been dealing qith a lot of mental issues and maybebI'll finally feel peace for once if i do it. Make it look like an accident somehow. Im not sure. There doesn't seem to be a way out.

So there's this post of the best friend last 30th of October 2023.. it said..
May mga nag paparinig dito na kung mamas boy daw spineless. Huh? Who gave you the go-ahead na mag judge ng mga lalaki na mahal ang pinanggalingan nila? Ano ka perfect ? Na hindi ka privy sa pagiging nanay sa huli? h*e please kung hindi ka toxic na tao hindi ka magsasalita ng ganyan but then again looking at your egregious track record it seems like the toxicity easily just seeps through
And I had a shared post last 26th of October 2023..
Very major major problem and red flag talaga for me ang mama's boy, myghad!! Spineless! (My caption)
Shared post:
Hello __, nakakita nga ako ng lalaki na hindi cheater, hindi palabarkada, walang bisyo pero mama's boy. Lahat nalang ng sinasabi ko sinusumbong sa nanay. Well anyway, normal lang ba na mag 2nd thoughts if malapit na ang kasal nyo? Ang dami lang talaga tumatakbo sa isip ko hahaha.
Context: Nagkabalikan po kami ng boyfriend ko last September 2023. We were together for 3 years when I decided to ask for a break up. No 3rd party nor cheating involved. For personal growth po namin and to realize certain things din. I didn't even entertain any men in my life pa nga in the span of me being single kasi I'm still waiting for him and it's the same with him. We were still friends too in fb and from time to time but not always, we still chat. But this best friend of his, I didn't do anything bad to him nor to the rest of their tropa. His bff unfriended me the moment na we broke up. And I didn't mind din naman since I am not a friend of his.They go way back since their grade school days pa.
I've just discovered that post of his recently kasi my boyfriend sent me a link to a video meme which directs me to his best friend's wall. So I kept scrolling since I got entertained by his bff's shared memes then I finally stumbled on that post.. At first I didn't mind, but then it felt kinda familiar. I checked my wall and I landed on this post I did. At first I was still sceptical and didn't wanna assume it was intended for me since hindi din namn kami friends na. But then I remembered na he once "haha" reacted to one of my past posts and hindi na kami friends that time. So how in the world did he end up there on my post when that was not even viral. And btw my mama's boy post wasn't even for any of them, para 'yon sa newbie work colleague na everytime may problem sya sa department namin, sinusumbong sa nanay na head ng ibang dept. and yung nanay ang nag co-complain sa admin 😮‍💨. I don't think they even mattered to me that I'd make a post solely for them. Never stalked any of them either. The thing is that si bff is a bit of a mama's boy. He's spoiled and kinda rich so parang na co-compensate na wala syang trabaho and lives with his mom. Also, I was still friends sa isang babaeng tropa nila na sobrang ma intriga talaga. Remember I was told that she thought that one of my post way back then na it was intentionally for her. Na pinaparinggan ko daw. I mean did it ever occur to her that she's merely just an acquaintance and I wouldn't even bat an eye kahit ano gawin nya sa life nya? I'm not even fond of her enough for me to dedicate any post towards her. She had a history of sending and saving ss and making intriga about it. I unfriended her when I discovered the bff's post and blocked her kasi she might be snooping around. Then I realized I'm still friends with her mom, tried looking for her sa friends list kasi nakita ko pa sya on that day sa list ko.. but then hindi na. I got blocked na bigla2. And brooo, that prying, snoopy little....
I also remember that my bf told me na his bff warned him jokingly that if we ever get back together, it'd be FO between them. Ako personally, although I have to admit I got hurt. I didn't do anything wrong to any of them, we only had a fair amount of interactions and for him to say that as if he hates me down to the core like he knew me. What irks me is that my boyfriend never once slandered any of his exes, never din nag hate boyfriend ko sa any decisions nya sa realtionships kahit na sobrang toxic nya na. Parang ang unfair para sa boyfriend ko.
I sent my bf a ss and he didn't know any of it. We talked in person but I tried to be calm and logical about it. I told him I understand if his friends hate me kasi parang automatic reaction din naman of the friends would hate the ex of their friend diba? And would slander the ex. They're not my friends but his, so I understand. I never slandered any one of them because that's not really my thing and it's beneath me. I really didn't wanna come off as a drama queen to my bf, I didn't wanna burden him but i was hurt. I didn't wanna make him choose since I'm afraid of what he might say, "bros before h*es" nga sabi nila. I'm so afraid that I could cancel everyone for him but maybe not him. I'm terrified that I am nothing against his bff and it tears me. I don't want to tell him to do something about it kasi dapat automatic na sa kanya yan. It would come off like I was begging him to do so. Kasi if he's in my place, I would definitely confront my friends. They don't have the right para murahin sya, hindi ko nga sya minumura. And I don't want him to feel bad talaga sa lahat ng bagay. I'd always cheer him up and encourage him. Inaalagaan ko sya then para lang murahin ng ibang tao na hindi naman sya kilala?? I won't sit idly by that.
Sometimes I'd watch yung segment ng showtime about exes, where some girlfriends were bullied by the people around their bfs and the guys didn't really protect their gfs. Especially yung May 16 episode na mas pinili yung best friend kesa sa gf 😢. Also yung April 17 ep na the girl was bullied too.