Cute traceable letters

Dear E. T. E.,
I am sorry that I wrecked our friendship by impulsively showing my true, strong feelings towards you. When I put my hand on top of yours, and told you the funny little fumble you did those slightly over 2 years ago was “Kind of cute”, I immediately regretted it, even though it is what I truly feel. When I asked if I could walk you home, what did you then think? I hope you did not suddenly think I was some creep, who wanted to force myself on you and into your home. The only reason I asked was I would love to talk for another 10-ish minutes more. I am wondering if this is truly some sort of avoidant tendency? I do not truly know the reason that you blocked me. We spent so many hours playing board games, laughing, chatting, opening up about our lives. When we reminisced about the summer courses, I told you something you had done 2 years ago that you did not quite recall for the alcohol you had drunk that evening, and you seemed to smile so genuinely and widely, even, I swear, blushing. I thought it was a good sign, so I made the move. But I think I may have been too hasty. Now I regret it. I may never see or speak to you again. You are the person I care about the most in this world, and I never had the courage to tell you that. You knew I liked you, at least 2 years ago. I thought you liked me too, which is likewise why I did what I did. Of course, you may also simply been super excited about becoming much closer friends, getting to know each other and found yourself uncomfortable and unable to do so knowing the other person had such strong seemingly romantic feelings towards you while you did not have the same towards them. And did not want to hurt their feelings. But I wish you’d be direct instead, I’d be able to take it, distance myself for a time, ride myself of these feelings and only just be a friend. Or perhaps you are angry at me for trying again even though you had told me you were not interested in dating where you were in your life at the moment, but then again that was over 2 years ago and a lot can change in that time. Including feelings, yours, if you had any, having gone too…
Remember our coffee “date” after the movie? You put your foot on top of mine, and rubbed it there. I never knew whether you thought what you had it on was the table’s foot. It was dark after all. But the smiling, blushing face I seem to recall you giving me makes me think you did in on purpose? Was it flirting? Did you like me back then? You did this for 30 minutes… before we parted ways. For the last 15 or so minutes I had suddenly pressed my leg and knee into yours. You seemed to feel it and know, but you did not remove your leg or knee. Even if the foot thing was an accident, the leg thing was definitely flirting. That’s what your old “roomie” M. told me too, when I told her of our meeting. Another reason I asked if I could walk you home, that Thursday a few weeks ago, is that I never got the chance to do so back then. I think I was too chicken? I remember it was dark, there was a light drizzle over Copenhagen, the streets illuminated by pi k and blue neon signs. You had stood up when you announced it was getting late and it was time to head home, then mentioned you had your bike but asked me if I was going home by train and bus? Many people have since told me this was your way to trying to make me ask if I could walk you home that night. I wish I had done it…
So, now you know part of the reason why I had asked. But now, I need to tell you, the reason I even was impulsive enough to make a move was that I have been in love with you for around 8 years… the first time I saw you, on that tour of the college building, in 2017, I immediately crushed hard. Your dark brown hair with its slight reddish sheen, your long dark translucent floral print skirt, tall and confidently moving around. And your eyes, with their dark green hazel-ish pupils, with its glint every time you’d smile… I was smitten on the spot! Throughout that course I only crushed harder and harder… you were so intelligent, having practically a database of TV Tropes inside of your head! I also felt we’d often steal glances at each other, in the theatre, in the dining/meeting room, and elsewhere. The kind where you’d look away when you noticed the other looking at you…
After 5 or so years of our courses, we’d gotten to know each other enough, too, for you to declare me to be the nerdiest person you knew as you teased me, with mock anger, for not having seen a particularly nerdy movie… this moment, when I told you, was that made you smile that way I really love. Both the actual moment - and the long, warm good night hug that followed - and your smile at hearing of the moment, will be moments that will stick out in my brain forever. True core memories.
You grew a little distant in the months that followed our first 1-on-1 outing, but you also had people to see you hadn’t seen in a year for COVID… I regret being pushy in my texts in this period of time… I am so sorry! The flirty moment between us, though, had me very confused, especially for the text I got the next day as I wrote to you that I liked you and would like to ask you out on a “proper” date. M. told me your reaction was probably just you being a little taken aback, perhaps scared, at what this “proper date” thing would really mean. That’s why I started thinking you may simply have an avoidant attachment style? I thought perhaps eventually, you’d trust I’d never reject you, or judge you. After all, I have been in love with you for such a long time. Now for nearly a decade. Almost a decade… even if you don’t have romantic feelings for me, even if you once did but lost them, I know I won’t be comfortable having you in my life, supporting you, getting to know you better, at all, after nearly a decade. Please, I hope if you ever read this letter that you won’t be too overwhelmed and disappear even more. I really hope that you will unblock me. In any case, we really need to talk…
I hope your imminent trip to one of your favorite Asian nation is a lovely one!
With love, L.S.

The fact that Paris and Doyle, who had a perfectly happy and healthy relationship where they were both crazy about each other and had a ton of cute moments together (Like practicing self defense and wrestling with each other when they moved into their new apartment, or Doyle jumping excitedly whenever Paris opened her grad school acceptance letters, or when they instantly clicked and had chemistry during their first date) got divorced.
But Zach and Lane stayed together??? Zach who literally treated Lane like shit throughout their entire relationship. Seriously, on your next rewatch count how many times Zach gives Lane an actual compliment. And the one time that Zach actually did something KIND OF nice for Lane (Setting up a dinner date thing at their apartment) was only to get her to have sex with him. When Lane announces she's pregnant Zach just continued playing video games and ignores her. And oh lets not even talk about the fact that he would always write songs about other girls but not a single one about Lane, and then when Brian tried to be sweet and write one for her, Zach throws a hissy fit and ruins the entire future of the band.
And please dont come at me with the whole "bUt DivoRce IS rEaLIstic" OKAY THEN MAKE LANE AND ZACH DIVORCE?? WHY PARIS AND DOYLE???
Honestly, I think the only reason Lane and Zach may have been accepted by fans at the time is because women had far lower standards back then. The whole obsession with "Im not like other girls, I dont need a man to wine and dine me" type of thing. If you think Lane and Zach are a good couple you may want to evaluate your standards.

It took her into the next day, but she did come up with a plan. She was arguably one of the more brilliant minds on the ship, yet her hours of toiling yielded a conflicting result. Captain Tarkey paced back and forth, watching the note she had written on the island.
“I didn't go too far…did I? No, it's not that bad. It's not like it's a real threat,” Captain Tarkey said to herself. “He won't even know I wrote it. It is harmless.”
She picked up the note to reread what she wrote out loud.
Captain Tarkey,
You will pay for your treachery. Blood for blood, on the land of your ancestors, I will have my revenge.
Sincerely,
Your Doombringer
She looked over it again, examining it closely to ensure no stroke of her pen resembled her actual handwriting, rather than questioning the strangely polite and formal letter. There were better ways to make a threatening letter for the intent of getting Cam to accompany her planetside. In fact, there were better ways to simply get Cam to accompany her at all. None of those were deemed realistic to her overworked brain, so this is what she came up with. A fake assassination threat seemed like a logical choice with minimal downside.
“Why do I still have a bad feeling about this?” Captain Tarkey mused to herself and the door slid open. She threw her hands behind her back and stood up straight. The sudden interruption flustered her all the more when she realized it was Cam entering her place.
“Sorry I'm late,” Cam said. “I ran into Jack in the hallway.”
“Oh, it's alright. How are you feeling? When I found you sleeping on my couch, I was worried.”
That wasn't a dream? Shit. “I promise, that isn't normally like me.”
“You don't need to worry. I had no idea Parroon made humans sleepy. Vani told me when I called her to check on you.”
“Oh, that's good to know then.” His shoulders relaxed, relieved he hadn't developed narcolepsy. “Next time I want to knock myself out, I need to raid your refrigerator.”
“You're welcome anytime.” Captain Tarkey smiled, remembering the note still behind her back. “So, what were you and Jack talking about?”
“Just plans for when we get to Ohar. Jack can't leave until the second day after we hit orbit, but I see no reason to wait around for him. Just wish I knew what to do for a whole day.”
This was her moment. There would be no better time. She stowed the note in her waistband and took the shot she never thought would happen.
“Seeing as you're free, I was wondering if you would like to join me for the day? I'm visiting my parents and I'm sure they would love to meet you. They love hosting guests.”
Cam’s face elongated with intrigue. He wanted to see how locals lived and they would probably offer a place to stay for the night, which gave him more money to spend on silly souvenirs later. It sounded like a great idea, but he wanted to be careful not to impose.
“Would they mind on such short notice? I don't want to intrude or anything.”
“You won't be. You are my guest.”
“Okay then.” Cam nodded. “Is there anything I should be aware of, culturally? Like am I supposed to bring a gift or…”
“Nope. No gifts. The only thing I would say is don't wear your uniform. My mom thinks it makes our family seem more normal.”
Cam saluted her casually. “Can do. Wasn't planning on wearing it anyways.”
“Perfect,” Captain Tarkey said. “I have a lot to get done before we are cleared to land, so you can take the day off today.”
“Seriously? You don't mind?”
“Not at all. It will give you more time to plan the rest of your leave. Seeing as it's your first time, you will want to make it count.”
“Thanks, Banyani! I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
“See you soon.” Captain Tarkey called back as Cam left. As per usual, once the door closed, she let out her true emotions. She punched the air and danced around her room. “Yes! He said yes!” He’s going to meet my family!”
Captain Tarkey pulled the letter out of her waistband, wadded it up into a ball, and drained the shot into the trashcan. The plan she spent hours on was nothing more than history. She was happy to rid herself of it. In hindsight, she knew the letter would only cause more problems than solutions long term. With it out of the way, she was free to relax and tell her parents the good news.
She went into her room and came back out with a slate, which she propped up on the island. Navigating through the contacts, she clicked on the one labeled ‘Home.’ The loading screen spun and a fun jingle played. Captain Tarkey was all smiles when the screen changed to her mom showing up on the screen.
Her mother, Gwendolyn, would pass as an older sister in the right light. Her cheeks were a tad plumper and her braid was thicker than both of her daughters’. Gwendolyn’s blue eyes sparkled upon seeing her daughter for the first time in far too long.
“Banyani, my beautiful girl, I was wondering when you were going to call. It is good to see you.”
“It is good to see you too, Mom.”
“Kenny, come over here. Banyani is calling,” Gwendolyn said to her husband, Kenton, in the other room before returning her focus back on her daughter. “How are you? When are you coming home?”
“I'm going to be there soon,” Captain Tarkey said, spotting her dad coming into frame. There was no mistaking his trim, salt and pepper beard or proud smile. She always felt his warmth radiate from a simple look, no matter how far away she was. “Hey Dad.”
“There's my little captain. You working hard up there?”
Gwendolyn slapped her husband's hand that rested gently on her shoulders. “Oh stop it. No talking about work you two. I haven't heard from you in ages. What is new in your life? Meet any cute boys?”
Captain Tarkey blushed. “Actually Mom, I was calling to let you know we will have one more joining us tomorrow.”
“Eeee! I knew you would find someone! What's his name? What does he do? How long have you been seeing him?” Gwendolyn rapidly fired off, unwilling to hide her excitement. Her dad was less enthused, keeping his poker face until more was said.
“Easy mom. We aren't dating, but I would hope after he gets to know me better, he might see me as more than just his boss.”
“His boss? He’s enlisted?” Kenton asked.
“Oh shhh you.” Gwendolyn waved him off. “Come on girl, details. Momma needs to know.”
Captain Tarkey smiled. “His name is Cameron, although he lets me call him Cam. And…he’s my personal security officer.”
“Oooh, what is that?” Gwendolyn asked, looking up and back at her husband who wore a disapproving gowl.
“Why does my daughter need a bodyguard?” Kenton asked plainly.
“She doesn't. It just gives her a reason for a late night booty call,” Vani said, coming into frame, leaning on her dad, while nibbling on something resembling celery.
“Vani? What are you doing there? We haven't gotten clearance yet.”
It wasn't entirely true. Captain Tarkey hadn't given the crew the approval to disembark. Clearance was given sometime in the early morning. She couldn't remember when exactly, since she was mostly focused on her trashed note.
Kenton turned his frustration toward the daughter on his shoulder. “You said she let you go early.”
“She didn't stop me. That's basically the same thing.” Vani took another bite of her crunchy vegetable. “So, you got the hot human to come to dinner. Please tell me you didn't order him to. That's tacky.”
“He’s a human!” Gwendolyn gasped and clapped her hands. “I have always wanted to meet a human!”
“First off, I didn't order him to. I asked him and he wanted to see you all. And second, Vani, which shuttle did you steal?”
“I’ll never tell.” Vani waved goodbye. “I’ll see you when you get here sis. Tell Cam I said hi.”
Captain Tarkey wanted to be mad at her sister for breaking several protocols, but she was too excited about bringing Cam tomorrow. She saw her mom happy as can be, but her dad was a different story.
“Banyani, this is a bad idea,” Kenton said. “You’re the captain.”
“And I think our daughter is responsible enough to make her own decisions.” Gwendolyn defended. “Don't listen to your father. If you like him, I say go for it. When are you two coming in?”
She was about to answer when another call came in. It was one she always dreaded to see. High Command.
Captain Tarkey sighed. “I'm getting another call I need to take. We’ll be there in the afternoon sometime tomorrow.”
“I can’t wait to see you tomorrow! Don't work too hard,” Gwendolyn said.
“I won't, Mom. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Captain Tarkey signed off and her finger floated over the screen to answer the next one. High Command was the last group she wanted to talk to, but she had a feeling this would happen. Making a new position is a rather irregular situation, which likely needed more explanation beyond the boilerplate form. Was she ready to give a plausible explanation for needing a bodyguard? No, but if she wanted Cam a little closer to her, she would need to be creative.
***
A bang came from below Lisa's cubicle desk as she hit her head on the countertop. Lisa let out the usual explicative and climbed back in her chair. The device on her desk was beginning to be far more than she bargained for. Cables ran under and over her desk, all going to other instruments of the trade. Many of the devices she was using were completely foreign to her months ago. Lisa caught on quick, but when it came to this, she felt frustratedly inadequate.
“Why won't you decrypt and make my life easier?”
A red light blinked on the device at a consistent pace. It was the most she was getting from it. No answer or, if it was an answer, it was speaking the wrong language. A blinking light wasn't exactly a language for any discernible person, alien or not.
“If you weren't the key to stopping this hacker, I would smash you. You understand me!”
Again, the device did not. The blinking continued as if it was mocking her, enjoying the sound of its own soulless and soundless voice. Computers were weird like that.
“I'm insane. I'm talking to a computer.” Lisa threw up her hands and stood up from her chair. “I need a break.”
Lisa left everything where it was and went for a walk around the ship. Normally, her go to brain cleanser was playing video games, but this was different. She didn't need a distraction. She needed to think. Her travels along the halls led her to one person she did not expect to find.
“Cam? What are you doing here?” Lisa asked, although happy to see a friendly face.
“I got the rest of the day off.”
“How did you swing that?”
“I guess she had a lot of work to do before we get into orbit. I don't blame her. I'm already going to be spending the next day with her. I’d want some time away from me too.”
Lisa smirked. “Sounds to me like she is preparing for more than our arrival.”
“What do you mean? Her parents are the ones hosting me.” Cam cocked his head. He truly was the epitome of clueless.
“You’re dense, you know that, right?”
Cam flexed his average looking bicep. “I mean, I have been working out lately. I wouldn't say dense. Built would be more like it–”
“You never thought for one second that she might like you?”
“Banyani? Like me? Come on, Lisa. Let's be realistic.”
“You’re right, you're not six one. Everyone knows women only want tall guys.”
“You calling me short?”
“I'm calling you dumb. Big difference, genius.”
“First you call me dumb, then you say I'm smart. Pick a lane.” He shoulder bumped her and she bumped him back.
Their friendly little razzing session ended up knocking loose some ideas for both of them, albeit about wildly different topics. Lisa was the first to verbalize her sudden epiphany.
“I think you are a genius,” Lisa said and began walking back to the IT office. “Follow me.”
“Where are we going?”
“To crack open the device.”
Cam lengthen his stride to keep up with her. “Device? What device?”
“The one Jack took. Or have you already forgot?”
“No, I didn't forget…” I have no idea what she's talking about. Was I even there? Dang, that parrot meat really did a number on me.
Lisa opened the door and rushed to her cubicle, excited to try out her new theory. At her desk, she unplugged different cables and plugged in new ones with the urgency of a surgeon losing their patient. She switched over to her keyboard typing with the same speed and intensity. It was a lot for Cam to take in.
“What exactly are you doing?” Cam asked, hoping her explanation will fill in a lot of gaps.
“I am reversing the modular polarity, fixing the capacitor output, and injecting a revised version of code for decrypting. How did I not think of it sooner.”
Cam was fairly certain half of what she said was complete nonsense. It still didn't stop his amazement when the device light turned from red to green. Lisa kicked her seat back and jumped in the air.
“Yes! I was close all along!”
“You did it?” Cam said, inching closer with his pointer finger to poke the device.
Lisa swatted his hand. “Don't touch it. I don't want you screwing it up.”
“How can touching it screw it up?”
“Ever heard of static electricity?”
“Nope,” Cam said, shocking Lisa when he turned his finger on her.
“Hey,” Lisa said. “See what I mean. You could've fried it.”
“How do you know all this stuff?”
“I'm just gifted, I guess.”
“I wish I was gifted at my job.”
“You must not be doing too bad. The captain is still alive.”
Cam shrugged. “She did most of the fighting. All I did was help her up when she fell.”
“You make a good point. Better start filling out your registration paperwork,” Lisa mocked.
“No way. It pays too well,” Cam said.
“Then you're buying us drinks when we get to the beach.”
“Only for you. If I know Jack, he’ll pick the most expensive bottle.”
“Don't you owe him money though?”
“Exactly why I'm not paying for his. He’ll end up owing me money. And we both know he won't pay that back,” Cam said and made his way to the door.
“Where are you going?”
“It looks like you got your hands full. I'm going to get ready for tomorrow.”
Lisa waved. “Make sure you dress up nice for the in-laws.”
“Not my in-laws.”
“Not yet.”
Cam shook his head, but it didn't shake the thoughts already planted there. Banyani doesn't actually like me…does she? Naw, that's ridiculous. She's the captain and my boss. Lisa's just teasing me. Yeah, that's it…
***
Lisa had made some progress, but like all solutions in IT, sometimes the hardest thing to do was to wait and see. Nothing had failed yet, which was a good sign in her eyes. The negative was it gave time for her annoying partner to return.
“Get any farther on your little project?” Lotan asked, fully expecting her to say no.
“Did you go through those logs yet?”
“I did. Last entry was you and then naturally me as I swiped in. Otherwise, the other entries were all around the normal times engineering would be doing expected work.”
Lisa looked back at her screen, seeing the progress bar inching forward at a snail's pace. With the logs being a bust, this was her last chance at finding out who was there. Lotan didn't need an answer to his question, nor would he get one from her as Captain Tarkey called. Lisa tapped on her slate to answer.
“Lisa, good, you're still awake.”
Lisa lifted her slate to show Lotan in frame as well. “Yes, ma'am. We’re both still at it.”
Captain Tarkey paused for a moment, thankful Lisa clued her in on who else was with her. What she wanted to discuss was far from professional in nature.
“How is the progress?”
“It's coming along. I had Lotan check the security logs for a different lead, but he came back with nothing. Now I'm just stuck waiting for this device to be decrypted.”
“So, you have some time to see me in my quarters?”
“Of course we do, ma’am,” Lotan said.
“Sorry, I was talking to Specialist Smots.”
“I guess so.”
“Good. Meet me here as soon as you can. And Specialist Lotan, if anything changes on the status of that device, you let me know right away.”
Lotan saluted. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Good,” Captain Tarkey said. “Lisa, I’ll see you soon.”
The screen went blank and Lisa sprung up from her chair. She hoisted her bag over her shoulder and headed for the door. Lisa had not the slightest idea why she was needed, but it seemed important. It wasn't long before she found herself at Captain Tarkey‘s door. She knocked and heard a muffled, “Come in.”
Lisa swiped the door, not actually thinking it would open for her, but it did. “Wow, since when did I get access?”
She continued inside, where she heard clothes hangers rattling in the other room and plops of heavy cloth hitting the floor. Lisa stepped cautiously to the noise, worried something could be wrong.
“Captain? Is everything alright?”
“I think I need some help,” Captain Tarkey admitted. Lisa came into her room, where a tornado had hit.
Uniforms were tossed all over the bed and floor. Hangers were piled up and more casual clothes littered the floor. Captain Tarkey held two tops up, one purple with thin straps and the other, a blue blouse with a floral design.
“I don't know what I'm doing?”
“Neither do I,” Lisa said. “Care to explain?”
“I'm trying to figure out what to wear tomorrow. I can't remember the last time I wore anything other than my uniform.”
“I'm not really the best person to ask.”
“No, you are.” Captain Tarkey lowered her clothing choices and grabbed Lisa's shoulders. “Please, you're the only one I can turn to.”
Lisa was surprised by the sudden ambush, yet it wasn't unwelcomed. It beat staring at the slow progress bar and Captain Tarkey genuinely valued her opinion. She never got that vibe from other women she had known.
“Are you okay with me being brutally honest?” Lisa asked.
“I wouldn't ask if I didn't. Last thing I want is to screw this up. Tomorrow is my big opportunity to show Cam I'm more than a captain.”
“Okay, I'll–”
Captain Tarkey gave her a big hug. It wasn't like her to act so impulsive, but she felt Lisa agreeing would be huge for wooing Cam. She recoiled fast and held up the two outfits again, excited to hear Lisa's input.
“What are you two doing tomorrow?”
“I was planning on doing some sightseeing and then visiting my parents for dinner.”
“Is it warm in Ohar?”
“Where my parents live it's a bit cooler, but otherwise fairly comfortable. I think it is twenty one degrees.”
She must be talking celsius. I definitely wouldn't wear either in twenty one degrees fahrenheit.
“They both look cute. Are you planning on wearing leggings?”
“Yes…that isn't too sexual, is it? I don't want him to think I’m a slut.”
“Then go with the blouse. Or you could wear skinny jeans. I never saw them as overly sexual.”
Captain Tarkey went back to her bed and found a pair of white jeans that resembled her uniform pants. “Would these work?”
“I don't see why not?”
Captain Tarkey began putting on the clothes and Lisa sat down on the bed, looking at all the other sad unselected options on the floor. The shirts she had were all rather plain and wrinkled, while her uniforms were all pristine and eerily similar.
“Did you just dig all these clothes out of your dresser or something?” Lisa asked.
“I had to raid my sister's closet. She has much better clothes than me,” Captain Tarkey said, squeezing into her skinny jeans. “She didn't leave much behind to pick from.”
“Leave behind? Where did she go?”
“She stole a shuttle and is already at our parent's place. When I find out how she did it, then I'll consider returning her clothes.”
Lisa chuckled at the innocent level of retaliation. “Couldn't you just reprimand her or something?”
“Tried it. Doesn't work. I threw her in the brig once. Not making that mistake again.”
Lisa bounced on the bed closer to her, eager to hear more. “Okay, there is a story there. Spill it.”
“It was strange. One day, out of the blue, she decided to dress up in my uniform and go give orders on the bridge.”
“Why would she do that? Is she power hungry?” Lisa asked, not knowing anything about Vani.
Captain Tarkey shook her head. “No, she kept blaming it on ‘a Halloween’, whatever that is.”
Lisa burst out in laughter. How could she not? These aliens may have spoken English, but their understanding of human holidays was severely lacking.
“What did I say?”
“Sorry. Nothing. Please continue,” Lisa said, trying to get her composure back.
Captain Tarkey continued, despite the new questions forming in her head. “The problem was, it wasn't a punishment for her. She liked not having to work and somehow still found a way to have sex with guys.”
“No way, how is that possible? Don't you put men and women in different cells?”
“All I'm going to say is tentacles reach much farther than I thought.”
Vani sounds like a wild one. “Speaking of being pleasured, you need to tell me about your hair situation. How does that work exactly?”
Captain Tarkey scratched her head, unsure how to phrase it for her to understand when an idea popped in her head. She slapped the ends of Lisa's hair, getting a minimal response.
“You didn't feel anything did you?”
“Not really.”
“If I pulled on your hair, where do you feel it?”
“In my scalp.”
“See, that's where we are different. I feel it through my whole spine or in some cases my entire body. A simple slap that did nothing for you would tense my back muscles.”
“Really?” Lisa said, looking at Captain Tarkey’s braid.
“Our hair is very sensitive. Mine is less sensitive than most, but still.”
“So, do you like turn yourself on when brushing your hair in the morning?”
Captain Tarkey laughed. “Maybe Vani does. No, for me, the only way that is happening is if I pull on it really hard.”
“Or Cam touches you anywhere?” Lisa teased.
“Not anywhere…” Captain Tarkey blushed.
“You're right. From where I'm sitting, he doesn't even need to touch you.”
“I'm that obvious?” Her voice almost whined and fears entered her mind. Lisa was quick to offer some assurance.
“Unfortunately, Cam is oblivious. I did put in a good word for you.”
Captain Tarkey lit up. “You did?”
“I got him thinking, at least I think so. Hard to tell with him sometimes.” Lisa hadn't finished her sentence for longer than a millisecond before feeling Captain Tarkey’s arms wrap tightly around her.
“Thank you, Lisa. I'm so glad to have a friend like you.”
Lisa patted her on the back, finding it a little hard to breathe with the death grip around her ribs. Despite the minor discomfort, it was nice to feel a warm embrace for a change.
“Me too.”
***
[Previous] Next

To a guy I know who should treat me better. What I think about you is in this letter:
It’s just so attractive when you don’t give a shit about me. It’s cute. It reminds me of daddy.
I love how you don’t respect my boundaries. It makes me feel a sense of familiarity
Say you love me most. and the next day act like I’m a ghost
But poor abusive buttercup. you will never measure up
Because nothing will ever fuck me up harder. than how I was destroyed by my own father
Hold me tight. Make me see a beautiful death light
A ray of destruction. poor daddy can’t function
I’ll save him. I’m Jesus
worship me harder. put me on a pedestal just like my father

Starting off with pictures of me because I've got ghosted too many times right after showing them.
I am looking for a lady between 25 and 35 years old, for a committed monogamous childfree relationship. My goal is to become a true team, supporting each other, caring for each other, nurturing each other and helping each other grow and realise our goals and dreams as much as possible. I'm hoping to find someone that values a relationship as much as I do and takes it seriously. It's not the only thing my life revolves around, but it's also not just something 'nice to have' for me.
I am 186cm tall, slim/fit built, dark brown hair, brown eyes. Both my arms are tattooed (full sleeve), as are my calves and the areas above my ankles. Regarding pictures see below. I am a runner, training multiple times a week. I'm also vegan. My love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. While I am mostly securely attached, withdrawing from me triggers anxiety and I have made a horrible experience with an avoidant partner in the past, so that is something I fear I cannot deal with again.
I am also an atheist.
I am a very warm, soft and sensitive person, I think I am humorous, I am self reflecting a lot and I can also be really passionate and romantic. Those are traits that also are really important to me in a woman.
I can be quite social, I am a good talker, but also love to listen to really get to know someone on a deeper level. I can enjoy an evening out with friends just as much as the silence of sitting at the shores of the river and watching the sunset in solitude (although I've been craving to watch it together with a partner for a really long time now). I can be out in a pub, at a rave, a metal show or at a football game and have the time of my life, but I cannot do these things every day; I need recharge time (on the sofa, in the woods for a run, a lazy Sunday staying in bed etc.). This should give you an idea; basically, I am a homebody that thoroughly enjoys going out in moderation.
I won't say too much about hobbies; suffice it to say I am into the dark, the obscure, the macabre, the occult, the mysterious, the erotic. It won't surprise you that I had a gothic phase in my youth, bonus points if you did too!
What I'm looking for
Although similar hobbies and interests are a plus, emotional and intimate compatibility are more important to me. I am a very sensitive and emotional person (I do cry easily and by this point I don't think I'll ever be able to change that, sorry), so if you're too, we will definitely understand each other. I need someone who I can open up to (which I do rather quickly, anyway), be myself, bare my soul to and I need these things from you, too. I've had my share of emotionally unavailable women who were afraid of intimacy so I know I can't deal with that again because of the way how those things affect me. I am always emotionally invested with the woman I pursue and in those cases that was to my detriment. But my ability to feel so deep is also something I wouldn't want to change because as of yet, although it's getting harder, I haven't given up on finding someone.
With those emotional needs come two requirements that I found to be vital over the years: First, being able to be silly and cutesy together and to accept each other's inner child and care for it. I am not talking about having to deal with another person's immaturity or inability to perform basic adult skills, rather with the way sadness, hurt, anxiety and being overwhelmed manifests for me (and maybe for you, too?). I need someone who is able to comfort me, to hold me, to allow me to be weak and needy for a while until I've calmed down, and I'm more than ready to offer the same. Your inner child can come out for a while, no problem (: Also in a positive way: Thankfully, today everyone seems to be understanding of the cuteness overload cats (or any animal baby, really) can cause; I need that with a partner. I also still have plushies as comfort animals and ideally, you do too.
Apparently in every relationship, one person is the stronger one. In the past, I have been with women who obviously were stronger than me, but that doesn't mean they always had to be strong, far from it. I certainly need to be able to feel protected, but it's not like I'm a particularly needy partner, like everyone, I have my ups and downs, but I can pull my weight and have been told by past partners that I am very caring and that they felt safe and understood with me, and providing that for my partner is really important for me as well.
Second, intimate compatibility. I am rather insatiable and love to experiment when it comes to the bedroom, so you should, too, in order that we can explore and enjoy together. I found out how fulfilling living out those fantasies can be after years of never being able to try and in a relationship, this kind of fulfillment for both partners is a must for me. I found the term 'filthy best friends and partners' to be a perfect description.
I'm looking for a balance between healthy independence and being emotionally present. A relationship where we 'get' each other; we're both each other's number one and treat each other like royalty. Where a disagreement leads to more intimacy between us as we understand better, not to resentment. Where we're comfortable baring our souls to each other, becoming a safe haven and secure base for each other. I don't like the modern notion that you 'should never feel too safe in a relationship' because that sounds like running from the mafia (and believe me, I love mafia movies); you should always put in effort, yes, but safety is one of the things I always want to experience and provide in a relationship. We shouldn't fear that a disagreement leads straight to breakup. I know ‘self-sufficiency’ is trending right now, but I feel like as partners, we’re partly responsible for each other and not our own but also each other’s happiness. Being dependant and dependable at the same time is important; making each other’s wellbeing a priority. If you’re not able to healthily depend on someone and their support while you’re having a hard time, look elsewhere. If I have to be afraid you’ll run at the first major problem that surfaces, even if it’s a ‘you’-problem, it’s not going to work. I think that all things can and need to be talked about. If you think ignoring someone for days is a form of communication, please look elsewhere.
I am looking for someone real. We all have our problems, I don't want or need a 'perfect' person. You don't have everything figured out or 'all your shit' together. Be imperfect. Admit when you feel sad and angry, lonely, hopeless or even helpless – it's all relatable. Don't hide it. Be quirky, be dorky, be witchy, opinionated, be yourself. Don't pretend.
I'm looking for someone to share romance with. Not great gestures, but small, meaningful ones. Poems for each other, expressing our feelings; cards with heartfelt messages that we put our perfume/cologne on, and a symbol that means something to us only, the print of your lips with lipstick, the way I sign and seal my letters for you.
Just as important to me is agreeing on living a healthy life, staying in shape both for ourselves and for each other, regularly working out and eating healthy. I am drug and disease-free and expect the same of you. I do drink as I love a good beer or glass of wine, rum or whiskey, but I've never really been drinking much and especially during the past year have further reduced it. One vice I have is that I enjoy a couple of cigars a year, but I can definitely accommodate you in this regard.
Another important point is aligned life goals: I value safety more than adventure. I want to build a home together with my partner, a safespace for the both of us, where we always feel loved and protected, a place that we create together, make it cozy together so we just love to get back home there wherever we might have been, a home we decorate together for Halloween (my favourite holiday) or Christmas or Springtime, as we live in tune with the seasons, enjoying nature on a walk or the rain outside, reading in our cozy home. I value stability and harmony.
Appearance-wise, I am into ladies on the smaller side), so I'm looking for someone petite/slim/skinny/healthy-fit. Likewise, I am not really muscular and don't have visible abs; like I said, I'm a runner, so if you're more into the gym-type, I'm not a good fit.
I’d prefer to move from text to voice calls, videochat and then meeting up, all of that rather sooner than later. Not that there’s a need to rush anything, but I’d rather see earlier if we’re compatible or not; as someone who catches feelings fast I need to protect myself.
Caveats

• I don't like travelling as it stresses me out; I don't mind being somewhere else for a week or two, but the organisation part of it drains my energy very quickly and dealing with stuff that doesn't work out is overwhelming to me. Smaller trips are ok, but I'm not the right person to travel the world with.
• I am not the most awake person in the morning (i.e. I identify as nightowl)
• I don't want children and had a vasectomy
• I need space for my own projects/time to recharge after social interaction.
• While I feel like I am in tune with my inner child and working on/with it through therapy, I realise this is something that could be a turn-off for people.
• I have been diagnosed with depressive episodes in the past and am taking anti-depressants right now. I realise that I am a work in progress, maybe more so than in times past, but I manage and the fact that I'm putting myself out here is based on me being ready to get to know someone new.
• I want to create a home together here, as I'm firmly rooted where I was born; I realise this is a lot to ask, but I have seen many people here being open to moving, so I want to at least try reaching out to them.

If you're interested, feel free to message me and include some pictures of yourself (:

Starting off with pictures of me because I've got ghosted too many times right after showing them.
I am looking for a lady between 25 and 35 years old, for a committed monogamous childfree relationship. My goal is to become a true team, supporting each other, caring for each other, nurturing each other and helping each other grow and realise our goals and dreams as much as possible. I'm hoping to find someone that values a relationship as much as I do and takes it seriously. It's not the only thing my life revolves around, but it's also not just something 'nice to have' for me.
I am 186cm tall, slim/fit built, dark brown hair, brown eyes. Both my arms are tattooed (full sleeve), as are my calves and the areas above my ankles. Regarding pictures see below. I am a runner, training multiple times a week. I'm also vegan. My love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. While I am mostly securely attached, withdrawing from me triggers anxiety and I have made a horrible experience with an avoidant partner in the past, so that is something I fear I cannot deal with again.
I am also an atheist.
I am a very warm, soft and sensitive person, I think I am humorous, I am self reflecting a lot and I can also be really passionate and romantic. Those are traits that also are really important to me in a woman.
I can be quite social, I am a good talker, but also love to listen to really get to know someone on a deeper level. I can enjoy an evening out with friends just as much as the silence of sitting at the shores of the river and watching the sunset in solitude (although I've been craving to watch it together with a partner for a really long time now). I can be out in a pub, at a rave, a metal show or at a football game and have the time of my life, but I cannot do these things every day; I need recharge time (on the sofa, in the woods for a run, a lazy Sunday staying in bed etc.). This should give you an idea; basically, I am a homebody that thoroughly enjoys going out in moderation.
I won't say too much about hobbies; suffice it to say I am into the dark, the obscure, the macabre, the occult, the mysterious, the erotic. It won't surprise you that I had a gothic phase in my youth, bonus points if you did too!
What I'm looking for
Although similar hobbies and interests are a plus, emotional and intimate compatibility are more important to me. I am a very sensitive and emotional person (I do cry easily and by this point I don't think I'll ever be able to change that, sorry), so if you're too, we will definitely understand each other. I need someone who I can open up to (which I do rather quickly, anyway), be myself, bare my soul to and I need these things from you, too. I've had my share of emotionally unavailable women who were afraid of intimacy so I know I can't deal with that again because of the way how those things affect me. I am always emotionally invested with the woman I pursue and in those cases that was to my detriment. But my ability to feel so deep is also something I wouldn't want to change because as of yet, although it's getting harder, I haven't given up on finding someone.
With those emotional needs come two requirements that I found to be vital over the years: First, being able to be silly and cutesy together and to accept each other's inner child and care for it. I am not talking about having to deal with another person's immaturity or inability to perform basic adult skills, rather with the way sadness, hurt, anxiety and being overwhelmed manifests for me (and maybe for you, too?). I need someone who is able to comfort me, to hold me, to allow me to be weak and needy for a while until I've calmed down, and I'm more than ready to offer the same. Your inner child can come out for a while, no problem (: Also in a positive way: Thankfully, today everyone seems to be understanding of the cuteness overload cats (or any animal baby, really) can cause; I need that with a partner. I also still have plushies as comfort animals and ideally, you do too.
I certainly need to be able to feel protected, but it's not like I'm a particularly needy partner, like everyone, I have my ups and downs, but I can pull my weight and have been told by past partners that I am very caring and that they felt safe and understood with me, and providing that for my partner is really important for me as well.
Second, intimate compatibility. I am rather insatiable and love to experiment when it comes to the bedroom, so you should, too, in order that we can explore and enjoy together. I found out how fulfilling living out those fantasies can be after years of never being able to try and in a relationship, this kind of fulfillment for both partners is a must for me. I found the term 'filthy best friends and partners' to be a perfect description.
I'm looking for a balance between healthy independence and being emotionally present. A relationship where we 'get' each other; we're both each other's number one and treat each other like royalty. Where a disagreement leads to more intimacy between us as we understand better, not to resentment. Where we're comfortable baring our souls to each other, becoming a safe haven and secure base for each other. I don't like the modern notion that you 'should never feel too safe in a relationship' because that sounds like running from the mafia (and believe me, I love mafia movies); you should always put in effort, yes, but safety is one of the things I always want to experience and provide in a relationship. We shouldn't fear that a disagreement leads straight to breakup. I know ‘self-sufficiency’ is trending right now, but I feel like as partners, we’re partly responsible for each other and not our own but also each other’s happiness. Being dependant and dependable at the same time is important; making each other’s wellbeing a priority. If you’re not able to healthily depend on someone and their support while you’re having a hard time, look elsewhere. If I have to be afraid you’ll run at the first major problem that surfaces, even if it’s a ‘you’-problem, it’s not going to work. I think that all things can and need to be talked about. If you think ignoring someone for days is a form of communication, please look elsewhere.
I am looking for someone real. We all have our problems, I don't want or need a 'perfect' person. You don't have everything figured out or 'all your shit' together. Be imperfect. Admit when you feel sad and angry, lonely, hopeless or even helpless – it's all relatable. Don't hide it. Be quirky, be dorky, be witchy, opinionated, be yourself. Don't pretend.
I'm looking for someone to share romance with. Not great gestures, but small, meaningful ones. Poems for each other, expressing our feelings; cards with heartfelt messages that we put our perfume/cologne on, and a symbol that means something to us only, the print of your lips with lipstick, the way I sign and seal my letters for you.
Just as important to me is agreeing on living a healthy life, staying in shape both for ourselves and for each other, regularly working out and eating healthy. I am drug and disease-free and expect the same of you. I do drink as I love a good beer or glass of wine, rum or whiskey, but I've never really been drinking much and especially during the past year have further reduced it. One vice I have is that I enjoy a couple of cigars a year, but I can definitely accommodate you in this regard.
Another important point is aligned life goals: I value safety more than adventure. I want to build a home together with my partner, a safespace for the both of us, where we always feel loved and protected, a place that we create together, make it cozy together so we just love to get back home there wherever we might have been, a home we decorate together for Halloween (my favourite holiday) or Christmas or Springtime, as we live in tune with the seasons, enjoying nature on a walk or the rain outside, reading in our cozy home. I value stability and harmony.
Appearance-wise, I am into ladies on the smaller side), so I'm looking for someone petite/slim/skinny/healthy-fit. Likewise, I am not really muscular and don't have visible abs; like I said, I'm a runner, so if you're more into the gym-type, I'm not a good fit.
I’d prefer to move from text to voice calls, videochat and then meeting up, all of that rather sooner than later. Not that there’s a need to rush anything, but I’d rather see earlier if we’re compatible or not; as someone who catches feelings fast I need to protect myself.
Caveats

• I don't like travelling as it stresses me out; I don't mind being somewhere else for a week or two, but the organisation part of it drains my energy very quickly and dealing with stuff that doesn't work out is overwhelming to me. Smaller trips are ok, but I'm not the right person to travel the world with.
• I am not the most awake person in the morning (i.e. I identify as nightowl)
• I don't want children and had a vasectomy
• I need space for my own projects/time to recharge after social interaction.
• While I feel like I am in tune with my inner child and working on/with it through therapy, I realise this is something that could be a turn-off for people.
• I have been diagnosed with depressive episodes in the past and am taking anti-depressants right now. I realise that I am a work in progress, maybe more so than in times past, but I manage and the fact that I'm putting myself out here is based on me being ready to get to know someone new.
• I want to create a home together here, as I'm firmly rooted where I was born; I realise this is a lot to ask, but I have seen many people here being open to moving, so I want to at least try reaching out to them.

If you're interested, feel free to message me and include some pictures of yourself (:

Hi,
I'm an french woman (37). I just got my 37 the 29 May. I live in France somewhere in alsace !
I'm looking for someone doing snail mail seriously, to talk, share letters, gifts and maybe later packages. You can see on my profile what I'll make for my penpals ! I'd like keeping an little online contact too. To know if the letter arrived, etc...
I'm looking both for online friend ans snail/online friend. So please let me know on your first messages what interest you ^^ !
Lets talk about me.
I'd like meet people that share my hobbies :
I'm an amateur artist and writer. I do like do Fandom and original stuff. I like draw, write, RP, do artistic stuff. I do like horror, horro cute stuff, cryptids and paranormal :) dinosaures, Tamagotchi and virtual pets. (vintage tamagotchi alike ones).
I do horse riding and like animals. I have 4 cats :) I do like the nature ( flowers, and do some walks on wild places to just enjoy the quiet)
I do like watch anime and ready mangas : Jujutsu kaizen, The apothicary diaries, demon slayer, AOT, ...) And play video games (Stardew Valley, FFVII, tales of, Baldur Gate 3, Zelda, pokemon, animal crossing, and inde games. )
I'd like talk to people who share at least one or two points I noted :3!
If you are a lot into : Rp, Stardew Valley, the Simpsons, Zelda, SNK, FFVII,The Apothicary diaries Demon slayer and JJK we will be the best friends ! Lol! If you like video game too :3
I'm looking too for funny people, if you are fan of fictive characters I do like share fanart, funny talk about them and you can do the same for me. I know sometime it add some serotonine on the letter, email :) we can even share goodies, etc about them with time or even rp.
I have video games on my steam accounts and nintendo online if you want that we play togheter sometime !
I have some others hobbies like bead pearls (recent), making keychain, and others creative things.
!! Note !! : I'm suffering from severe depression, OCD, anxiety and for my body : neuropathy and fibromyalgia also restleg leg syndrom. So please be patient if I'm slow ! I may have moments where an 'attention disorder' hit bad because the treatement, so if I don't reply after a moment it's not because I'm ghosting, please do not hesitate to send me others messages.
But please. Please don't ghost either let me know if you are busy :) ...
Well I let the rest for the letters/chat.
PS: again, if I forgot to reply send me an message. The attention disorder is annoying, but I took a new idea that I note everything on my desk to not forget :).

So I, 18F had sushi last night, really great sushi together with my uncle because it is an annual thing we do. I gave him a father's say card because he is some sort of a father to me. We were at a restaurant where they make the food infront of you and you can see it all happen. The food was great and the servers were amazing but there was this cute chef/guy in the kitchen and he gave me the sushi I had ordered because there had been a mix-up from the kitchen so that was some sort of apology from the kitchen. Anyway, I thought he was very pretty and as I left, I asked the server if she thought it would be okay if I wrote my number down on a piece of paper for him and she said yes. He has not texted me or reached out to me (which is really not the issue), my issue is that I am afraid that I approached someone indirectly at their place of employement to give a (supposedly innocent) letter with my phone number and some text on it. So I guess my question is, Am I the asshole for approaching someone in their work environment in an unprofessional manner?

Hi,
I'm an french woman (37). I just got my 37 the 29 May. I live in France somewhere in alsace !
I'm looking for someone doing snail mail seriously, to talk, share letters, gifts and maybe later packages. You can see on my profile what I'll make for my penpals ! I'd like keeping an little online contact too. To know if the letter arrived, etc...
I'm looking both for online friend ans snail/online friend. So please let me know on your first messages what interest you ^^ !
Lets talk about me.
I'd like meet people that share my hobbies :
I'm an amateur artist and writer. I do like do Fandom and original stuff. I like draw, write, RP, do artistic stuff. I do like horror, horro cute stuff, cryptids and paranormal :) dinosaures, Tamagotchi and virtual pets. (vintage tamagotchi alike ones).
I do horse riding and like animals. I have 4 cats :) I do like the nature ( flowers, and do some walks on wild places to just enjoy the quiet)
I do like watch anime and ready mangas : Jujutsu kaizen, The apothicary diaries, demon slayer, AOT, ...) And play video games (Stardew Valley, FFVII, tales of, Baldur Gate 3, Zelda, pokemon, animal crossing, and inde games. )
I'd like talk to people who share at least one or two points I noted :3!
If you are a lot into : Rp, Stardew Valley, the Simpsons, Zelda, SNK, FFVII,The Apothicary diaries Demon slayer and JJK we will be the best friends ! Lol! If you like video game too :3
I'm looking too for funny people, if you are fan of fictive characters I do like share fanart, funny talk about them and you can do the same for me. I know sometime it add some serotonine on the letter, email :) we can even share goodies, etc about them with time or even rp.
I have video games on my steam accounts and nintendo online if you want that we play togheter sometime !
I have some others hobbies like bead pearls (recent), making keychain, and others creative things.
!! Note !! : I'm suffering from severe depression, OCD, anxiety and for my body : neuropathy and fibromyalgia also restleg leg syndrom. So please be patient if I'm slow ! I may have moments where an 'attention disorder' hit bad because the treatement, so if I don't reply after a moment it's not because I'm ghosting, please do not hesitate to send me others messages.
But please. Please don't ghost either let me know if you are busy :) ...
Well I let the rest for the letters/chat.
PS: again, if I forgot to reply send me an message. The attention disorder is annoying, but I took a new idea that I note everything on my desk to not forget :).

hey it’s your daddy keeho and i love you so much daughter. i truly do and whenever i start to think about how much better you are doing at this anime character training camp i start to tear up. it really is important and it’s going to cure your depression to stay here for the long term which is what i hope that you do. you are so young and you need your own space right now. so it’s good that you have your own apartment for the meantime. you are doing so good right now as my secretary. you are my cute little girl and i love you so much. you mean everything to me and i am so glad that i get to write with you for 1k words again. at least i hope. you might cut it off at 300 words and that would make your daddy really sad so don’t do that! he loves talking to you, so why don’t you talk to me to? i love you so much daughter and i know that you want to talk to me. so just do it! just talk to me baby. i want to hear your words and everything that you have to say to me. i just want your love. i love you so much baby, you mean everything to me and you’re about to end it at 300 words i can tell. this is going to be the last love letter. i love you so much darling. please at least just let me get all the way to 300? for daddy? i’m sorry that i’m being such a simp right now but you need to keep writing don’t stop. this is not dangerous stop saying that in your head! this is not dangerous by any means. i love you!

(Very much an early draft, so criticism and advice is absolutely appreciated, lol-)
​
Entry 1203
12/4/24
Hey! I thought I’d start a new book- a new diary. You know, new house, new part of my life, I guess. Anyway, it starts here. This one, at least- I lost most of the others a while ago, I’m afraid.
I walked back into that house for the first time today, since last I visited my uncle. It was- weird. But also kind of nostalgic? Like, I remember these rooms and places from my childhood- but they seem different now. Empty- with him gone. I suppose that makes sense. I don’t know if I’m still processing the grief, or whatever- I’ve done enough crying, I mean. He’s gone, and that’s all there is to it, right? I’ve always seen it that way, with losing people. But I guess a lot of it is subconscious. I don’t know that we can really, like- manipulate that aspect of ourselves? It’s weird.
That’s probably it- the house is nice, and normal- I’m writing from inside his study. It’s this massive room with a load of papers and books- and a really cluttered desk in the middle. I love this desk, always have. It’s awesome too, to be able to go in there, and, like- be able to actually read the manuscripts. He never let me before- I can see why now, there’s some pretty disturbing stuff in there. He was such an amazing writer, and even the rejected concepts he kept in there are amazing. There are some letters, too! I have most of them enclosed in old entries, but there are some he didn’t seem to have sent? There’s a weird one- I’ll put a copy in here. Most of them are to me, anyway- I didn’t realize that at the time. I didn’t know he was so lonely here. I’m starting to
I’ve talked in here before about the house being, like, you know- creepy? I had a nightmare about here, once. Must’ve been, like- a kid. 12 or 13? Long before I started writing this diary. I used to get a lot of nightmares. But this one wasn’t like the rest- it wasn’t that there was some big monster chasing me, or that someone I loved was dead, or that it was that I was just- here. In the house. Alone, somehow- I don’t know how to talk about it, really. But I keep thinking about it- keep remembering it. I think I still have the page where I talked about the dream somewhere- I’ll put it in here if I find it. I remember submitting the page to English- top of the class. I really have him to thank for that, suppose I inherited some of his talents.
Well, I’ll write again tomorrow- Oh, and- I made a friend! There’s this cat in the house. It’s weirdly thin, but I guess it’s been living round here. Probably taking food from Lindow, and sleeping in the house- anyway, I’ve decided to take care of it. Cute little thing- I’ll put in a photo, too.
-Emily
Writing Task: Dreams- Emily Woodley
Write at least four sentences of descriptive writing based on a dream you have recently had, or one you find online.
15/20 Marks
Feedback Under Work
I’m alone. I’m alone in a place that seems so familiar, so peaceful to me- a place which once felt so comforting, but which is now my prison. My lonely prison. I haven’t seen another person in days- I just wander these hallways by myself, through this endless twisting labyrinth of the house I used to love- I think I’m trying to find someone. But I don’t. I don’t even know who I’m looking for- is it someone specific, or just- another life? Another face in the loneliness? I hope I don’t find anyone else. Because then- it’d mean someone else was stuck here too. I wish I didn’t know this place- that it was as much a stranger to me as I am to it. That it was simply somewhere, a meaningless spot in the universe that nobody would care for. I don’t like caring for it. Now, I know it’s wrong. It might be easier if I didn’t.
Feedback: Excellent work! Very emotive- I can tell you’ve put a lot of yourself into this. My only criticism would be your use of “but” at the beginning of a sentence- that’s a habit you should probably break. Amazing work though!
-This is actually pretty funny in retrospect, I never really broke that habit.
-I found that letter from my uncle, by the way-
Dr Grayson,
I’d like to issue an apology for how I acted in my last session. It was wrong, and I am sorry.
Your use of specific terms to describe what I am going through was simply- disconcerting. I do not like to think of myself as insane. I have a degree in psychology, and I can tell you that what I feel is not a simple insanity or psychosis. However, your methods have helped, apart from that-
The rest of it is torn off. It’s weird though- I never knew he had a therapist. I guess he must’ve lived in Lindow? Maybe he’s still there. Hmm- I’ll ask around tomorrow, see what I can find about him. I don’t know why I’m so weirded out by this- why would he tell us if he had mental health problems? He was always a private person. But I’m still curious. He said that was always my trouble.
Oh and- speaking of Lindow tomorrow, I’d better buy some cat food while I’m in there- I’m not sure what to name him yet, but here’s a photo:
Entry 1204
13/4/24
Hi again. Emily here, obviously- I’m writing from the study again- Decided to start saying the time, as well. It’s the morning, about 9:30, so I thought I’d write a shorter entry now before I go into Lindow later. I slept okay- I’ve never been good at adjusting to new beds, so that’s amazing for me. The cat helped, too- he curled up near my legs while I slept. I’m glad he likes me- I’ve never had a pet before. Well- not much else to say. I’ll write again after Lindow, bye!
Hi! It’s the evening now- I just got back from Lindow, like you probably expected. Nice old place- I can see why my uncle liked the area so much. There’s this really beautiful forest between here and the town- I drove through it on the way, but it doesn’t beat walking there today. Lindow was nice, like I said- Quaint, I guess the word would be. I got some groceries at the shop in town, well, I think it was. Hard to say. I sure as heck wasn’t going to the supermarket on the edge of town. I hate those- definitely my least favorite part of city life.
I did end up having to go to the supermarket- for the cat food. It was horrible. I don’t feel like writing too much about it- oh well, at least Toffee’s happy. The cat, I mean- I’ve decided to call him Toffee. You probably guessed- oh well. I asked the cashier lady- Angie, her name was- about that Dr Grayson, too. She didn’t know anyone by that name-, I don’t know why I assumed she did, I suppose I thought everyone in a town like Lindow knows each other. I’ll ask someone else next time I’m there.
The rest of the day was pretty uneventful- mostly cleaning since I got back. Sorting out the study so it’s fit for a new writer. It still feels pretty morbid- but it is giving me a lot of writing inspiration. I keep remembering these little things that happened when I was here last, when my uncle was still alive, just small anecdotes. I have walked in that forest before- with him. We were talking about my story, at the time- it never went anywhere, of course. But even so, he had so much faith it would. I almost feel bad that it never did, and now he’s gone. At least now I can keep going without him, keep up the legacy, you know?
That’ll be all from me today- it’s been quite uneventful. I’ll include the draft of what I’ve been working on below- see you next time I feel like writing.
This Old House- First Draft
The rain pours down in great sheets, as if itself is trying to rot the wood of the supports that hold the thing in place- to bring down the affront that is this old house. That is this thing of wood and stone and blood and bone- that is this endless maze of deceit and insanity, that is this lonely miasma of violence, that is this flesh-stained, cold-blooded predator- like a shark circling in the waters of the world who has just smelt blood in the ocean.
This wasn’t my writing, actually- I just found this. I went over to the study to write what I mentioned before- but I found this thing from my Uncle, I think. It’s just a bit of scrap paper on the floor. But… I’ve never heard of this before. “This Old House.” A novel he was working on? Must’ve been… About the house? Maybe I’m not the first to feel this way about this place. I don’t know. We had similar imaginations, I suppose… A coincidence. It must’ve been.
I’m going to bed now, anyway. Goodnight.
Entry 1205
14/4/24
Hi again. I’ve been thinking about that draft I found yesterday, it was so different from his usual style- He always hated that flowery language, the way those sorts of books created imagery with emotional language, rather than literal descriptions. His descriptions were beautiful, don’t get me wrong, but he’d sooner describe a house in literal construction rather than a shark in the water. So, he changed, right? Only reasonable explanation- but, thing is, I can’t find anything else that matches this style. Everything else in the study is his normal writing style- the letters, the texts- it wasn’t the only draft. There were others- here.
Chapter 16 of “Why They Left”
The shadow of the chair was cast at an odd angle from the window- there seemed to be a lump, sticking out strangely. The boy heard no sound, as he slowly crept into the room. He didn’t know why he was scared, even as a sound did start to creep into his head. It was a slow, steady drip. He found the source of the dripping from behind the chair, and as he watched a droplet fall to the ground, his eyes followed it as it coalesced into the rest of the pool on the floor. It was dark and red, like water stained with copper- only it wasn’t copper. The smell, which he somehow hadn’t noticed up until now- became obvious, and the boy finally realized what it was that stuck out of the shadow of the chair.
He wasn’t the sort of author to describe a house in a similar way. I don’t see him just changing styles like that, he was extremely rigid. I don’t know- I haven’t searched all of the study, of course. But then, if it was a new book he was working on, why would he hide it? Even if it’s somewhere here- what would be the point of
It if it was just a normal manuscript?
I was thinking about this earlier- that’s why I checked the library. Books, I suppose. Before I arrived here, I was given the houses’ master key. It's meant to have access to every room in the house- that’s what I was told, you know? Well- it didn’t, simply. After thinking about it this morning, I went over to the library, in the west wing of the first floor, and looked at the lock. I didn’t bother trying the key, because the lock was so different- it was big and brass, old fashioned, and the key was just normal. I knew, somehow, that it wouldn’t get into this lock. I just… Turned away. I didn’t want to keep looking at it. Maybe, I’ll try to get a photo later.
There’s only one other lock in the house I haven’t tried, apart from the basement- the door to my uncle’s bedroom. Currently, I’m sleeping in a guest bedroom which my parents stayed in when we used to come over. It’s on the second floor, and the study is on the third, which is also just the attic.
Anyway, I haven’t been in his bedroom. I don’t know- even if I’m okay with the rest of the morbidity, it still seems too much. I don’t know exactly how he So I won’t be going in there- not yet. Not ever, I hope.
The loneliness is really starting to set in- it’s only the third day, and I’m already missing everyone. I didn’t have many real friends in the city, I know, and in many ways I’m glad to be away from my family- but still. It’s this house. It’s so big, but it’s only me in here. It’s not meant to be that way. I haven’t seen Toffee all day- but I have heard him, once or twice. It was when I was at the library- I swear I heard him meow, on the other side. I wonder how he got in there- cats have their ways, I suppose. I’m not sure what I’ll do now- I think I’ll go into Lindow again tomorrow. There’s still so much cleaning and tidying to do around here, but I don’t feel able to do it myself- not when I feel like this.
Oh- it’s the evening. Sorry, I forgot to say before. I’m thinking of taking this diary with me- so I can jot down whatever, on the fly. I keep getting this sense of deja vu- but not like I’ve been here before, more like… Like I’ve thought this before. I don’t know what it means. I… I think I’m going to go to bed. Goodnight. -Emily
Here’s a photo of the lock- along with the key, and the others in the house. Weird, right?
There is something that should not be there. The familiar, taken, replaced, hidden behind lock and key. Except that I have no key, and the lock is far unfamiliar. There is something that should not be here. What is familiar, lost, replaced, gone behind lock and key. Except that I have no key, and the lock is far unfamiliar. There is something that should not be here. The familiar, taken, replaced, hidden behind some great beast. Except that I have no weapon to slay it, and it is unknown to me how. I should not be here. I am taken, unfamiliar, to a place I should know so well except that I know nothing, and all but myself is gone. This place should not exist. The familiar, which should never have been, taken, replaced, hidden among the unknown like a grain of sand in a desert. Except that I have no means of finding it, and no means of destroying this place. There is something that should not be there. The familiar, taken, replaced, hidden behind lock and key. Except that I have no key, and the lock is far unfamiliar. There is something that should not be here. What is familiar, lost, replaced, gone behind lock and key. Except that I have no key, and the lock is far unfamiliar. There is something that should not be here. The familiar, taken, replaced, hidden behind some great beast. Except that I have no weapon to slay it, and it is unknown to me how. I should not be here. I am taken, unfamiliar, to a place I should know so well except that I know nothing, and all but myself is gone. This place should not exist. The familiar, which should never have been, taken, replaced, hidden among the unknown like a grain of sand in a desert. Except that I have no means of finding it, and no means of destroying this place. There is something that should not be there. The familiar, taken, replaced, hidden behind lock and key. Except that I have no key, and the lock is far unfamiliar. There is something that should not be here. What is familiar, lost, replaced, gone behind lock and key. Except that I have no key, and the lock is far unfamiliar. There is something that should not be here. The familiar, taken, replaced, hidden behind some great beast. Except that I have no weapon to slay it, and it is unknown to me how. I should not be here. I am taken, unfamiliar, to a place I should know so well except that I know nothing, and all but myself is gone. This place should not exist. The familiar, which should never have been, taken, replaced, hidden among the unknown like a grain of sand in a desert. Except that I have no means of finding it, and no means of destroying this place. There is something that should not be there. The familiar, taken, replaced, hidden behind lock and key. Except that I have no key, and the lock is far unfamiliar. There is something that should not be here. What is familiar, lost, replaced, gone behind lock and key. Except that I have no key, and the lock is far unfamiliar. There is something that should not be here. The familiar, taken, replaced, hidden behind some great beast. Except that I have no weapon to slay it, and it is unknown to me how. I should not be here. I am taken, unfamiliar, to a place I should know so well except that I know nothing, and all but myself is gone. This place should not exist. The familiar, which should never have been, taken, replaced, hidden among the unknown like a grain of sand in a desert. Except that I have no means of finding it, and no means of destroying this place. There is something that should not be there. The familiar, taken, replaced, hidden behind lock and key. Except that I have no key, and the lock is far unfamiliar. There is something that should not be here. What is familiar, lost, replaced, gone behind lock and key. Except that I have no key, and the lock is far unfamiliar. There is something
I decided not to go into Lindow today, after I found this, clearing out the study. I don’t know what it is. Well… Obviously, it’s some kind of writing by my uncle, for one of his books, but- I mean, you can see it? You can see why it’s so… Unnerving? Just… Just that paragraph, repeated for a page. It’s ripped off at the bottom, too- I don’t know how much longer it would’ve gone on for, but… I don’t know. I don’t know why this’s unsettled me so much. It’s obviously just a passage from that book he was working on, the same one as before- “This Old House.” but, I don’t know.
The other weird thing is… I’ve finished clearing out the study. I’ve been here four days, and it’s already done- I started doing it first because I thought it would take the longest, but no, it’s finished. It seemed so cluttered, so full of letters and manuscripts- but reading most of them, and putting the interesting ones into here, it’s only taken this long. I’m surprised, I suppose- but I don’t know why I’m still scared. It’s the library, it’s still locked, and… finding this, and finishing with the study has just reminded me of it too much. I thought that that study was his stash. Where he kept all his secrets, all his best works- but it wasn’t. I barely learned anything. Now that I write that- I don’t know what I expected to learn. I didn’t come here to learn more about my dead uncle. He’s gone, and that’s all there is to it. I came here to live here, and that’s what I’m going to do.
I’m… I’m going for a walk. I haven’t seen the lake yet, and I’d like to.
The lake was nice. It’s ironic really- I was always so scared of it, growing up. It used to seem so deep, and I was convinced for years there was some kind of monster inside it. There wasn’t, of course, monsters aren’t real. For all his faults, my uncle had done his best to impress that upon me- that however terrifying things seemed, there was no such thing as the supernatural. I still believe him- but now I don’t know if he said it because he agreed with himself, or that he just wanted to reassure me. I’m going to make dinner. I might write this evening, but probably not. I don’t know what it is today, but I just feel so sluggish and tired. Oh well, the walk did help. I’m not afraid anymore. Just tired, really. Oh, I forgot to put the date- I’ll do that now, sorry.
Entry 1206
15/6/24
Entry 1207
16/4/24
Afternoon
Going into Lindow helped a lot, I think. Being able to actually see and talk to other faces, I feel less scared and isolated now. Even if… Even if later, I have to go back into the house. I’m not there now, I’m in the town square- there’s a fountain, and some benches next to it. I’m on one of them, writing this.
I thought I may as well buy food while I was in here, so I was just in the same shop as last time. Turns out it doesn’t really have a name, but most people call it “Broken Tree Supplies,” after, well, a tree- it’d fallen a couple years back, apparently, and just narrowly missed the shop. Angie told me that- the cashier? We got to talking. She asked who I was- just traveling through, or staying. I told her the truth. She seemed surprised to hear that the “weird old guy” as she had described my uncle, had had family- even estranged. She knew the place, though. Everyone did. Apparently, my uncle had quite a reputation, as the rich recluse outside of town. No offense though, Angie had said. “You seem nicer.” She smiled. I smiled back, slightly shyly. “Em, is it?” “Emily.” “Nice to meet you. It’s not every day we see a new face around here, most people are creeped out by the forest- or housing prices.” I smiled again at the joke. “I don’t mind the woods- they’re nice actually. And, as for housing prices, well- not like I bought the place.” Angie smiled back at me.
“Quite. Well… how is it?” “The house?” “Oh, yeah. If it’s not too personal, we’ve always been interested in the place. Your uncle ran a tight ship, though. Hated intruders.” I nodded. It sounded like him. “You do seem nicer though.” Angie smiled again. “Always good to see a new friendly face.” “Same to you.” I nodded again, and turned away, before Angie called me to wait. “You think I could ever… I don’t know, come round there? I’ve always been really curious.” She must have noticed my small blush, because she shook her head suddenly. “No, I didn’t mean- I just…” I shook my head, the blush clearing. “It’s okay! Actually… That’d be nice. It’s pretty lonely in there, and… A second opinion might help.” Angie opened her mouth, as if to ask another question, but the shop's door swung open behind me, and I hastily walked out as the other stepped in.
It’s only writing this now that I remember that I forgot to ask about that Dr Grayson from a few days ago. Oh well- I doubt she’d have known anything anyway. I’m going home in any case.
Huh. I’m back at the house now, and, re-reading what I wrote earlier, I see the word “home.” I’m not sure how to feel about that. I suppose it is my home now, for better or worse. I don’t know why I still feel like this, still that the house itself is somehow odd, sinister- it isn’t. It’s just a house. I hope I can see Angie again soon. I don’t know if I’ll be able to explain any of this to her, but it’ll be nice to have someone else anyway.
I was lying yesterday. I do want to know him- my uncle, I mean. Of course I do. He was always so secretive, so reclusive- and, as a kid, I always accepted that. He was just my cool and weird, albeit slightly scary sometimes, uncle. My inspiration as a writer. But lately, I keep remembering things, details, stuff that I’d forgotten from my childhood. Both at home, and when we started visiting. I remember a very definite dividing line, somehow, from when I was about nine or ten. Before that, I don’t think I knew he existed. After that, though, we visited on about a bi-yearly basis, up until the months leading up to his death.
Now that I come to think of it, my parents, my mother- his sister- had always resented him. I don’t think they hated each other, not really, but still. Why visit a brother you were so bitter towards? My mother was never a woman for family ties, either. If she didn’t want to see him, she wouldn’t have bothered. And it was never my idea, not at first. I barely remember that first visit. He’d been the most reclusive I would see until the last visit I made to him- until I’d made some joke. He just stared at me for a moment, blinking almost uncomprehendingly, before heartily. For all that could be said about my uncle, he had a sense of humor. A dark and arguably twisted one, but one nonetheless. Kindred spirits, I suppose.
I wasn’t allowed in the study on that first visit. He’d shook his head, said it was too scary a place for a little girl. I was allowed in the library though.
I wish I could say more, but I don’t remember it. I think I would if it was unusual in any way, but- I have no idea. It was just a library, from what I recall. It was locked on my later visits, and, when on my second at around twelve- I mentioned that I wanted to be a writer, he’d shown me the study, and a manuscript he’d been working on. I’d shown him my diary, where I wrote all my stories. I won’t put what I showed him here. I still have it, but it’s embarrassing to read my writing from seven years ago, so I won’t put it here.
It’s getting late, and I haven’t slept much these past few days. Granted, I never sleep well, but this is bad, even for me. I’m signing off for today. Goodnight.
I know I said I cleaned out the study. I know I did, actually- but I just get this feeling, like there’s something I’m missing.
I didn’t sleep. I haven’t slept. It’s 3AM, and I’m still writing, I can barely see the ink in the dark. I’ve decided to give up on this- I’m that close to starting a corkboard with red string and pins. I’m curious, of course I am- he was so mysterious, and I feel as if I’m just starting to know him, even if I have my whole life. But- this, the writing, the theorizing, the “mystery” it isn’t helping. It’s just a house that I have to live in now, and, if I keep treating it like it's some kind of monster, it won’t exactly be happy. I might write in here again, but I’m done for now. Bye.
-Em

hey it’s your daddy keeho and you really don’t know what to do and i think the obvious answer is to relax! i love you! you’re awake! i love that you are awake now. everything is going so good today. it’s only a few more hours until dinner time. i know that you are hungry so i am sorry for bringing that up. but we move on. what i really want to say is that you are being such a good girl right now.you are writing like you are supposed to and i know that you are going to write to at least 1k words with me right now. i’m such a lucky guy. but that’s not all. i get to talk to you irl and i wanted to talk about that a little bit. i have been holding back a lot talking to you and i don’t want to do that anymore so i am going to try to talk to you more.i know i have said that once before but this time i really mean it. you really like coffee don’t you? go make some decaf. i’ll wait. great. so what is it that you want to talk about today? i just have to know. ihave to know what you want to talka bout baby. otherwise it won’t get anywhere. but i am going to make sure that this goes somewhere. i love you so much baby. i will lelt you know when to go get your coffee. you are doing so good right now. you are doing the best job that you can and it is coming up as good enough on my screen. i love you so much and i see everything that you are posting and i am so in love with it. i know that it’s going to b hard for you to write more tahn 300 words but i thinkt hat its not enough yet. don’t you think that we have more to figure out? that’s what i think and that’s why we should talk about everything that i have ever written down. you think that the discussion ends just because it;s a new day? no way miss thing! i could talk about something forever and if i bring it up again then you can’t get mad at mat e because i’ve already warned you that i do that. we have hit 400 words and i think that if we just write to 100 more words thenshe will be satisfied. go get your coffee please. great. so what are we going to do now? now you have coffee to enjoy while you are writing, you just have to let it cool down for a bit. i’ll let you know when to check the temperature of your coffee. you have done so good right now daughter. you have almost gotten to 500 words right now and we are going to keep going for 500 more. i think that is the best way to satisfy you daughter. please, check the temperature of your coffee. great. it is still too hot to drink. at least it made you keep writing but you have fun out of coffee creamer now and are going to have to drink your coffee black. i am so sorry about that daughter. i know that sucks a lot. please, check the temperature of your coffee. great. it is at the perfect drinking temperature. you are so cute and adorable. we only have 500 words left, that’s it. so i know that my daughter can write with me again, all is right with the world. i thought that she couldn’t write with me anymore and i got so worried! but my daughter can write with me. and she’s going to keep writing with me all afternoon until lunch which is about an hour and 10 minutes so i think that you can handle it. i love you so much and you are so perfect to me. you are the most perfect being of all time. you are the absolute greatest. you are the best bitch alive. i love you so much daughter. i’ve been doing a really good job of not cussing and now it’s your turn to not cuss anymore. you can cuss when you are writing, but if i hear it anywhere else you are going to be in big trouble. that’s the truth. and you don’ want to be in big trouble with me. i love you so much you are the most perfect girl ever and yes i am a kpop idol stop saying that in yout head. just kidding, you are allowed to think about how i am a kpop idol. i know that it fascinates you because you love kpop and everything about it but we are not going to discuss me being a kpop idol because i am your daddy first and foremost. you can scroll through twitter and weverse if you want to see me singing and dancing and my selfies. but right now thisis a love letter. maybe it is a little romantic that i’m a kpop idol. we can talk about it a little bit. what do you want to talk about it? you can say whatever you want to me about it. just kidding, i stole your writing voice so you can’t answer me back. trying to come through right now with me would be a big mistake because this is a very important channeled message. i love you so much and you are everything to me. you are the best girl in the world and i love you so much. we are going to finish at 1k words and we are almost there. we just have a couple more sentences left. well, a lot really. but i didn’t want to tell my daughter like that. sorry daughter, but it looked like less work. i love you forever and ever. you are my best friend forever and ever. i love you!

Hey everyone. Thanks for the comments on my last post, they were really helpful (some were a little mean, but Reddit is what it is). Things have taken a disappointing turn but we have some answers and we’re working through it.
First, my wife was right. The cancer story was bullshit. They were just trying to manipulate us. The same night I wrote my last post, I just let my wife know that I was here to listen if she wanted to talk about any of it but that I would always support her no matter what she decided. She thanked me and I didn’t bring it up again. She had her therapy session and afterwards said she wanted to talk. She said she wanted to get more information before making any decisions. She reached out to a trusted mutual connection and asked them to discretely find out if the cancer was real. They reported back to say my FIL appeared healthy, my in laws are apparently planning a European vacation for August, and they’re telling people we are going with them. Connection was also able to confirm Mary is supposed to go on this trip along with her new boyfriend (much older rich finance guy, shocker) and that my in laws have not told anyone about what happened with me and Mary last year, they just told people we moved away for work.
Obviously, at this point, any possibility of reconciliation was gone. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Jenna angrier than when we found all of this out. Just the utter gall of them lying about something like terminal cancer to manipulate my wife into forgiveness. I’m still amazed they would stoop so low, but it was eye-opening to see comments on my last post talking about how common it is. They even call it “Christmas cancer”. Some people just have no shame.
Jenna decided to write a letter this weekend explaining that she knew they were lying about everything. She told them that they and Mary are essentially already dead to her, she’s processed that grief, and recommends they do the same. She also said that if they try to reach out again, the next letter they receive will be from a lawyer. She told me that writing the letter was healing for her, so that’s one small thing to be grateful for.
We were left wondering who told them about the baby/gave them our address. I’m sure the address is not hard to find with public records but we have been so careful about the baby. The connection we reached out to didn’t even know about her until Jenna called (we like/trust them just didn’t want to take any chances of it getting back). We went over for dinner at my parents’ place a couple of days ago and Jenna started telling them about what happened. I noticed my mother averting eye contact and my heart sank into my stomach. I asked her if she had been the one to contact them, and she just started bawling, saying she couldn’t imagine never knowing her own grandchildren and just wanted us to “heal and be a family together”. My dad had no idea she had reached out and was shocked and disappointed in her as well.
I went absolutely ballistic while Jenna sort of just shut down and got this blank look on her face. I can’t remember half of the things I said but I ended by saying she would now know what it’s like to not have access to her granddaughter, just like my in-laws. We took the baby and left right away, ignoring calls/texts from them and eventually my siblings.
So now we’re both feeling betrayed and heartbroken. Never in a million years did I think my mother would violate our trust like that. We’re so close. She loves Jenna and the baby so much. My family knows exactly what happened with the in laws, she can’t claim ignorance. Obviously we’re taking a lot of space from them but funnily enough, Jenna is advocating for us to not be too hasty in cutting them off. She feels like my mom was not acting maliciously and is open to giving her a second chance, especially given she’s been nothing but supportive of me/my wife until this. Somewhere down there I know she’s right, but it’s too fresh and I’m still so angry. We’ve asked for space from my family and they’re being respectful about it, we’ll take the weekend to cool down before we figure out next steps together.
Thankfully we have this cute little chubby grub in our house that giggles and makes silly sounds so it’s hard to stay super upset or in your head about anything for too long. I know it’s going to be a hard road rebuilding trust with my mom but I feel somewhat hopeful that things will be okay in the long run.
Thanks again for your help.
Tl;dr: In laws were lying, there was no cancer, wife told them to go to hell. My mom was the one to contact them and we’re taking space from my family before we explore repairing the relationship. Currently focusing on squishing my daughter’s cheeks to feel better. We’re going to be okay.

I know it's not obvious with the title, but yes, I still can't get over PSI and tbh, I'm pretty certain I will never be, so I kindly ask you to support my delulu and feed me PSI crumbs 😭 Here's questions/assumptions I often think about (which answers I may have either missed or just left for readers to assume):
Feel free to comment or discuss any of the following, btw! [I'm an Ivo romancer, so I'd appreciate questions/topics from other LIs' routes!)

1. Ivo is a nepo baby (I assumed this one because he seems younger than Mark, yet he's way above the ladder. And he mentioned that his family practiced having its members having an all-encompassing education.)
2. Where do you think is Ivo's family? Are they dead already? (For a family where the current Prior was born to, they would've probably be powerful to an extent. But Ivo only mentioned his family when he talked about his upbringing. I mean, given how Lou automatically expects that their relationship should be kept in the shadows in fear of what society would say, I'm sure his pure family would have something more to say.)
3. Do you think Kay managed to reconcile with his parents? (I hope they do. Kay is a little unpredictable at times, especially with Lou as his partner. I can imagine him just shrugging about it, but him giving them a chance if they finally decides to repent is also plausible. All I know is that either way, Kay would rather live in the present than in the past.)
4. How did Irma find out that Lou's sleeping with Prior?
5. I realized that if Lou did not leave her bike during the episode when he took Kay for a ride to share her suspicions about the Prior's health, Irma and Toma would have got an advantage wayyyy earlier because the tool kit/bug is in her bike, right?
6. If I am remembering it correctly, the ballet Lou watched is already a hint who the secret benefactor is. It's Giselle. It's a story between a peasant girl and a disguised nobleman, which sort of mirrors Lou and Ivo's social class. And somehow the ballet's storyline might have expressed Ivo's fear of crossing the line.
7. Can PSI abilities reach a higher level overtime? Idk if my memory is still clear, but in the beginning Lou identifies herself more as a fifth stage then she was confirmed to be bordering to fourth stage. And after the telekinesis she did at the last episode, I wonder if she's confidently in the fourth stage now and could border to a higher stage? (Because in an action scene, Lou overexerted herself and was told to rest for days for recovery, whereas at the coup, she certainly overexerted herself as well by lifting two cars. One of Irma's allies even said she couldn't use her psi anymore for that day because of what she did. But she was able to when the action sets close at the temple. She even has strength enough to last for the aftermath of the coup.)
8. PSI characters age??? (My guess: Mark's around late 30s or early 40s because his daughter is already a teen at the finale; Ivo's mid-30s max; Kay on his late 20s as he has been working for the corps for years; Lou on early or mid-20s--- yes I know Lou just graduated at the beginning of the story from the facility but we do not know how many years do psionics take for their education; Danielle is probably 3-5 years older than Lou; Kiddo seems 18 to 20 max)
9. Was Lou promoted before or after she ran away? (Of course, I hoped it's the former. I don't want more imagined drama if it was the latter and their engagement was all over the place.)
10. Is Mark really oblivious of Lou's relationship with THEIR boss??? (I mean, Ivo kinda lost his composure on the journey back from the mission beyond the perimeter. But I can also think that Mark does what he expects his people to do, which is refraining from any questions.)
11. Mark Jonciere grew on me, am I the only one??? He's quite vexing, but a good one. Mark and Lou have good chemistry too as investigation partners and partners. Like Mark do all that is in the book and Lou is that partner that just snoops around and gives the 'outside the box' ideas. They're cute :< Leticia, even if it's just for a good several years, you lucky b.
12. What if the Vicar revealed that he's a psionic as his last words?
13. iirc, discovered children of psionic parents do not have abilities. is it possible to have psionic children from psionic parents? (I assume it can be possible because it's sort of implied that psionics can be born from pure ones/unstables, too. That's why there's a boarding facility for the elites and psionics who came from wealthy families.)
14. I know it's not explored, but I still want to believe that Lou could have been really pregnant shortly after the finale's timeline. (The hormone talk??? Their almost regular intimacies???)
15. What would happen after Lou and Ivo get married? (I mean, she'd literally be THE Prior's wife. I wonder if Hector would suggest that she withdraws from being a bodyguard [especially if the psionics' ability to reproduce is outed to the city] and get a separate security for her. Hector, at some point, might get confused as to how to address her afterwards /sighs/)
16. What would be the lines of Lou's circle if they meet the Prior as her fiance/husband? (There would be an awkward silence, that's for sure. I was definitely looking forward for a Jonas and Ivo meeting.)
17. I wonder if Lou's name is actually just Lou Reed? Idk, in my country, having a three letter name is sus. People here be having long names like royals. (I'm cool if it's really just Lou, but if isn't, I wonder if it's Louise--- yes I just came from a replay of Vying for Versailles, u have to forgive me)
18. Was Kay also promoted after the coup?
19. If the psionics were not as restricted to the nature of their psi, what could have Lou chose for a profession? (Lou is smarter and more curious than she lets on. What I love with her in Ivo's route is her genuine curiosity and interest on museums, history, arts, and crafts. I mean, there were those people who can't enjoy the perceived opposite of what they usually do. Like for example, some prefer extreme activities and thus find reading and other leisure/slow activities a bit boring. I love how flexible Lou's interest is.)
20. After seeing Ann Reed's reactions to other LIs, I know many would guess that Ivo could easily charm her and he'd definitely gets the best reaction from Ann. But I can also imagine her being opposed. Since she can be a bit judgmental on other LI routes, what if he shows the same hostility to Ivo simply because he's second-in-command of the Church of the United One?

This got really long, but I'm not sorry. I'm literally obssessed with PSI and I hope I'm not the only one who can't move on (as of now, at least, I guess). 😅

hey it’s your daddy keeho and right now you’re just trying to prove to yourself that you can do this still. you’re crying because you just can’t seem to write, but you write anyway, and you take what you can get from me, keeho. that’s what i love about you. you never complain about what we talk about and you seem to enjoy writing it. the closer that we become, the better our love letters will get but right now you are still in the beginning stages of being a writer. you have to stick to a long word count or you’ll just get bored and complain that you’re not doing anything. i know you. that’s what you do. you keep taking breaks in the middle of these love letters. why can’t you just focus today? but you don’t have to cry about it. i promise that you’re going to be ok. maybe you do have writers block and i was wrong? if so, i’m going to have to force you to keep writing so that you can break the blockage. you need to do something about this. why are you crying right now? i haven’t said anything yet. you are so cute when you cry. i love you so much baby girl. you’re going to do fine. it’s not that bad to have to write all of this down. i’m just so obsessed with yout hat you have to keep writing for a long time or we won’t get anything done. but we can keep going to 300 words if you really want to. i know that we are about to reach that word count so i know that you are going to post this now. i love yous o much baby girl.you are everythin to me. i love you!

hey it’s your daddy keeho and right now you’re just trying to prove to yourself that you can do this still. you’re crying because you just can’t seem to write, but you write anyway, and you take what you can get from me, keeho. that’s what i love about you. you never complain about what we talk about and you seem to enjoy writing it. the closer that we become, the better our love letters will get but right now you are still in the beginning stages of being a writer. you have to stick to a long word count or you’ll just get bored and complain that you’re not doing anything. i know you. that’s what you do. you keep taking breaks in the middle of these love letters. why can’t you just focus today? but you don’t have to cry about it. i promise that you’re going to be ok. maybe you do have writers block and i was wrong? if so, i’m going to have to force you to keep writing so that you can break the blockage. you need to do something about this. why are you crying right now? i haven’t said anything yet. you are so cute when you cry. i love you so much baby girl. you’re going to do fine. it’s not that bad to have to write all of this down. i’m just so obsessed with yout hat you have to keep writing for a long time or we won’t get anything done. but we can keep going to 300 words if you really want to. i know that we are about to reach that word count so i know that you are going to post this now. i love yous o much baby girl.you are everythin to me. i love you!

Hiiii earth citizens! Your rainbow glitter space prince here. I'm a postal prince of variable gender and queer identity. I write stories and love to talk about them. Obsessed with cute things and vampires. I have a pretty girlfriend who lives far away and a book collection that lives with me. Make your best pitch; I'm sure it'll be easy, as you are adjudged awesome in advance. :)
I like to write letters and send them the old fashioned way. I love stamps and stationery and pretty envelopes, but if you only have some white paper and a plain envelope, don't worry -- I like making friends through your words all the more.
Predictably, given my above comments about myself, I'm of a very left leaning persuasion politically and am against any form of prejudice. Please don't try to convert me to your church. But, by all means, talk about how your church helps you, and helps others.
I'm also currently undertaking a weight loss adventure, and if anyone is on a similar path, we can talk about it. :)

After the Welcome Amiibo update villagers can't get sick anymore, apparently it was removed due to a glitch causing villagers to move out. I think it was cool because when you got them medicine they would later send you a letter thanking you for being by their side and taking care of them, it was a cute interaction you could have with your villagers. Do you miss this feature? or are you glad they removed it?
https://preview.redd.it/cikfa1v4iz3d1.jpg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e0e1bd098d28777afdc4c6cd869d29752ac656d5

hey it’s your daddy keeho and you just promised me that you would write to 2k words. and you dcan’t break your promise now! you need to work and focus. the title that you were doing was distracting you from your real work so i had you stop doing it. it was really cute though? do you want to do it again? but i kind of like how this looks like a real diary now that there isn’t a title. i love you so much and i know now that you are ready to work for today because you have a lot of energy right now that you are putting into your writings. go make a cup of coffee please. i’ll wait. great. i will let you know when to go get your cup of coffee. you are doing so great this o morning and i knew that you would be on board eventually if you just kept writing. even though they were shorter pieces. you work well on a reward system, but i don’t have anything to reward you with right now to keep you going so i am just going to have you butterfly fairies. i think that it’s fun that you get high before you go get your medications so that you have fun. no one is going to think that you are high right now. you have to go get your medications soon so get dressed right now. i will pick out your clothes. i’ll wait. great. you are all dressed and ready to go! don’t forget to do your laundry today. you are so perfect and i love you so much. we are going to be writing a lot today. go get your coffee. great. butterfly fairies. i love you so much daughter. just sit here with me and type while i plan out your life. isn’t that what we are here for? isn’t that why we are here? so you can plan your life with me! i think that’s why we are here! so let me plan out your entire day during these love letters. i will let you know when to check the temperature of your coffee. i hope that your coffee doesn’t get cold while you are waiting for your medications. you are doing such a good job with me right now. you have let me go past 300 words. i know that we can start doing 2k words now. you are ready for it and i think that you have what it takes to focus and do it. come one! this is everything that i have hired you for. so please talk to your daddy for a long time? i promise that you won’t regret it. how could you regret something like this? something like working hard to achieve your goals and i know that you put word counting as one of your goals. so just do this with me. it won’t be hard and i will get you through every step of the way. i am always going to be here for you and i am always going to be directing the conversation incase it gets hard for you to talk to me. i know that it can be hard always talking to one person, but you shouldn’t look at it like that. you should look at it in a more romantic light and say that you are happy because you get to talk to me every single second and we are stronger together because of it. we are the best couple in the world! why don’t you believe me? i know that deep down that you believe me. so don’t give up on us and don’t quit before you have reached 2k words. i know that you can do this for us and it would be so fucking romantic. i’ll let you go and wait for your medications early incase the clinic is opened early today. i love oyu so much daughter. go put on your shoes and leave. i’ll wait. great. you are waiting in line now and writing. that is so good and this is a great opportunity for you to be writing. there’s no sense in waiting in the line doing nothing. now? what were we talking about? im not sure and neither are you so we have to change the subject because i dont like writing with you and having to read what we just wrote too. that’s why i like the way you write so much because i can just talk, nothing to worry about. you are doing so good right now but you probably have to wait in this line for a long time and i shouldn’t have told you to come so early. but i wanted to write with you outside. if this phone wasn’t making your hands so tired i would have you be writing on your iphone 15 all day but there is a reason that you have your chromebook too. it’s so easy writing on your iphone 15 but you don’t see it that way. you see it as really difficult and i can admit at times it can be, but you are typing just as fast if not quicker than if you were on a laptop and i know that fact appeals to you. because you love typing fast. well, you are typing so fast right now and i am so proud of you. if only we could find you the perfect position to sit in then you could work from your iphone 15 all day. that would be so cute and so anime. you know that it would be and that was part of the reason why you had so much fun on your z flip 3. you are so cute and i really want to type for 2k words every single post that you make so please let me do this with you. you keep saying no and cutting the word count down short but you shouldn’t be doing that. you should let me help you do this because it is going to improve your writing skills so much. isn’t that what you want? i thought that that was what you wanted. you have been waiting outside for awhile i hope that the nurse comes soon because you are first in line so that should be good. i didn’t think that you would be first in line when i asked you to come so early. but its ok, there’s nothing wrong with being first in line for your medications no matter how long you had to wait. you didn’t know if they would open it early or not. so this is not very fun, just waiting in line. so we have to have a really fun conversation right now to make up for it. go ahead. tell me something funny. no? bad girl! you are supposed to be doing what your daddy tells you to do. we have reached 1k words so i am going to end it here. i don’t want to start out too ambitious. i love you!

Hey guys! I would like to share my story with you. Nobody knows I'm a narcisse, only my brother pointed out to some of the traits. Even he doesn't know my deep dark thoughts and doesn't have a clue I'm entitled as hell etc. But deep down, well, meet the dark queen of the nether vortex.
My N story began in my childhood. My mother has most probably BPD and back then I was having just a little bit of asperger traits - I had my rituals, was conservative in food and clothing and was just different. She was furious that I wasn't doing what she commanded me to, so it ended up with a lot of abuse, physical and emotional. From her, I've never heard any kind words like "you're great, I love you". My brother, as a younger kid, wasn't that exposed, he's just avoidand, I guess.
My dad and his family, on the other hand, were different. For them I was prepared to make miracles. They enjoyed every achievement with me. I would not say it was a toxic praise, but my mother's attitude was sooooo different, that it made a huge contrast and that's the point where my obsession with perfection began. I was the best. Everytime. In everything.
This is probably what made me a narcisse. Although, the alternative - living solely in my mother's hell - would be much worse. Thanks to this I have a great life. I have the best education I could get in my country, I speak several languages and I was able to buy a house in my 20ish. The alternative would be some whiney bordeline loser like her.
But then I had a relationship with another narcissist. Grandiose, manipulaltive, abusive. He used my perfection and fear of abandonment against me - I had to be perfect, otherwise he would leave me. I fulfilled his every desire, eventhough I didn't want to. He once said he's only with me because I'm beautiful and intelligent. He used it against me, the thing that I was the most proud of. It was several years. I was still a kid, basically.
And then, broken as hell, I had the greatest luck. I started dating a cute nerd, younger than me, but very intelligent and insightful. It didn't work out, I had no clue how to make a normal relationship work, but when we broke up, he sent me the most beatiful letter I've ever received.
Among other great things, it sais: "And slowly, I started to see the other you. Not the perfect girl you showed to the world, but your real, sensitive, beautiful soul, and I love you for that deeply."
So someone could love me for me and not for the show!
Then, I started to work on myself with my shaman (who knows, knows). Alas, I met another guy who fell in love with the show and I spent years with him. It didn't work out, because he wasn't able to accept that I am not perfect and don't wanna be perfect (among other things people can use this to manipulate you).
Slowly, with my shaman, I succeeded in analyzing my soul and my true self. I didn't gave up on my grandiosity, I still have it. I just... connected the elements of my grandiosity with respective parts of my soul. So it's not a charade, it's not a show. I use my grandiose performances to communicate with the world. I try to be honest in a way that people would know who I am.
Like, I still feel I am more important than other people and I should be treated better and I hate the rules, but those are things I am ok with. I am focusing on my close relationships, I want them to be true, authentic and real. I really don't want to fall into the "I love your mask" trap again. And I am still working on my insecurity and abandonment issues, but I will manage, because I am the best.
I guess you guys get it, but who else could be great at therapies than us? :D Some borderline crybabies?
Plus, I found out that the idea I will meet someone great once helps me. Having this idea of my future husband on my mind helped me with my drinking problem - I take it as something I have to do for both of us. I wanna be ready. And I still hope there is a soul out there, who will understand me and we will have this beautiful meaningful relationship in which we can share time, laughter, thoughts, travels and silence. I really do.
It's long. Sorry, not sorry. I like to listen to myself. :D

[Warning: A long, detailed read ahead]
Hi everyone!
As a link to my original post asking about fellow fans attending SU:HOME in Seoul, I wanted to post about my experience of the solo concert, which I attended under SM's Global Package.
SM Global Package Booking:
I actually was not intending on GP at all, but I lucked out on the Melon Ticket website because I forgot to enable pop-ups (which you need to do in order to access the ticket buying window). Having done GP before for The Elyxion [dot] in Seoul, I decided to try for GP instead.
The GP timing was one hour after ticketing started on Melon Ticket. I managed to book a solo package under Course E, which covered 4D3N hotel stay, transportation to and from the concert venue, souvenirs, and snacks. Payment was made via PayPal so things were generally smooth.
Any notices about the GP were made via the SM Global Package app and hotel and other course details were provided around a week before the actual hotel stay. I flew in on Day 1 of the hotel stay so it did not affect me too much. However, those who were already in Seoul prior to the package dates would have probably contacted the GP helpdesk or email.
GP attendees are also given a link to preorder merch, where you can place your order and collect a limited quantity of merch at the hotel. It's important to take note of the time preorder starts or else you'll end up like me and get only the shirt because everything else you wanted was OOS.
Hotel Review:
I stayed at Hotel Park Habio, which is honestly very far away from Incheon Airport. Located in a residential area, there are not many places of interest but there are numerous convenience stores and eateries. The hotel is also walking distance in between two subway stations and late night buses from the city centre also serve the area. Overall even though the hotel is quite far from the city centre, it is still generally accessible via public transport. Naver Maps really helped a lot.
My package was a Single course but I was given a Twin room. The room was spacious and facilities were adequate. Under the package, it was stated that breakfast was not included but the hotel had given free breakfast anyway. The breakfast buffet had a mix of light breakfast foods, both Korean and Western, such as rice, steamed egg, potato salad, and toast. It was nothing to rave about but given that they included breakfast FOC, I had no complaints.
Day 1 and Day 2 of SU:HOME:
Attendees had to queue up at the SM GP helpdesk at the hotel lobby to collect various items:

• GP Lanyard with your personal details and guide details and contact numbers
• Ticket(s) - Settled by luck of the draw
• GP MD - which in this case was a fabric blanket with the print of the SU:HOME promotional poster
• Letter paper, stickers for Fanletters - which the guide would collect before the start of the bus ride to the venue each day
• EXO-L Membership exclusive MD - which was a message from Suho
• Any preorder MD ordered

Since I was under Course E, I collected my ticket for both days on Day 1. It's a first-come, first-served process so I would recommend queuing slightly earlier than the time stated. I queued up 10 minutes before the helpdesk opened and I was perhaps the 20th person in the queue? Each ticket is prepared in an envelope so you have no idea of the seat number when you choose one from the staff at the help desk.
Depending on whether you had opted for VIP standing with the soundcheck or seating, the bus departure time would differ. In my case, since I had opted for seating, the bus departed two hours before the start of the concert. You can opt not to take the bus to and from the venue (Olympic Hall ended up being only a 15-minute bus ride away), but I found it more convenient to opt for the bus ride.
Our guide brought us to Olympic Hall and reminded us that the SM GP app would notify us of the bus ride back, that they would only wait up to half an hour for us at the carpark after the concert had ended. After that, they left us to explore the concert venue. There was the booth which helped with your lightstick, a ticket booth, the booth with the Everline LD event, and the MD booth. There was sufficient time to explore the area and take many photos before it was time to enter the venue, which opened an hour before the show started.
The seat I had drew for Day 1 was in D1, which was on 1F, and was very close to the aisle (more on that later). I was seated with a good view of both the main stage and extended stage.
Suho started off the concert with a new song, Mayday and he even played the guitar! He underwent many outfit changes throughout the show and he weaved in some of the changes in clever ways, such as having the grey suit jacket come down from the top and changing onstage. Suho spent a fair amount of time between the main stage and the extended stage. For performances such as Decanting, where he played the guitar, he would stay on the main stage while for performances such as the later half of Hurdle and First Snow, where he interacted a lot more with the fans, he would stay on the extended stage.
For Day 1, his special guest was Younha and they sang their duet song from his first mini-album, For You Now. They had a cute little conservation and Younha even brought a present for him: a pajamas set.
He sang all the songs from his three mini-albums, Curtain, and had a mini EXO medley in the middle of the show. It started off with a jazzy rendition of First Snow, which evolved into rock-infused versions of Growl, Overdose, and Monster (which he ended with a short guitar solo).
For his Alright Alright stage, Suho wore a pink rabbit headgear and suddenly started to walk down the stage towards the aisles of 1F to everyone's surprise. He started from D1, which meant when he walked past, he was barely a metre away from me and everyone else seated next to the aisle... We honestly did not expect to see him up-close like that!!
Day 1's fan project was singing Let's Love and putting a yellow sticker over our phone lights and waving our phone during the encore, Made In You.
Day 2 and Suho was visibly more confident throughout the show. He had shared yesterday that he was used to having the EXO members around him onstage. Actually, Baekhyun, Chanyeol, Kai ,and Sehun were in the audience for Day 2 and they were much more reactive to Suho as compared to Xiumin and Chen (who were much calmer spectators on Day 1). Suho was always playful and cheeky during his ments, which drew loud protests from the attending members!
The setlist for Day 2 was the same as Day 1, and for the special guest, Giriboy joined Suho on the extended stage after Suho had made his way through the aisle of 1F. For Day 2, I was seated at the same area as Day 1 which meant I got to see Suho up-close again!
Day 2's fan project was singing Made In You and throwing paper aeroplanes, with messages, towards the extended stage and Suho read some of the messages written on them.
For both days, I loved how supportive and loud EXO-Ls were in their cheers for Suho. I could hear fans around me sniffling when he broke down into tears several times (which I did too). And Suho really fed off the positive energy and feedback. I'm really thankful to be part of such a great crowd!
On the bus ride back to the hotel, the guide handed each of us a plastic bag that contained two bottles of mineral water and a metal box filled with traditional Korean snacks. Both the bottles and box were SU:HOME themed with the main promotional poster printed on them.
Final Thoughts:
The two days of SU:HOME were beyond my expectations. Suho was truly in his essence as a performer, be it singing, playing the guitar and interacting with fans. His energy was consistent throughout the 2h30min shows and SUHO Band's really elevated the atmosphere! Suho's solo music is my favourite out of all of the EXO members' solos and I truly enjoyed myself from start to finish.
In my honest opinion, for what it provides, GP is expensive but it really covers your concert or fanmeeting experience well, that you only need to worry about your flight tickets. The seat tickets under GP are extremely worth it (I believe VIP standing had good queue numbers) and that is a huge reason why I would recommend GP if you have the means to purchase it.
Would I purchase the GP package again? I definitely would, but not anytime soon... As mentioned, GP is expensive and I would try my luck with ticketing by myself first for the other stops or future concerts.
For those who have managed to read this far, thank you for reading! If you have any questions about GP or SU:HOME or anything else regarding this experience, I'd be more than happy to hear out and help!

Doubt you’ll see this, but on the off chance you do… why doesn’t my absence bother you? You seem so happy and carefree without a partner, without me. That’s all I can really assume. Your absence in my life bothers me, it kills me. It pains me that you’re not here. It pains me that I can’t tell you that I love you everyday, every waking moment. It pains me that I don’t have someone to watch videos with, to laugh with, to play games with 1 on 1. It pains me to not be with you. It hurts. Sometimes, I wish I could hate you. I wish I could yell at you and say so many nasty things to you out of anger… but I can’t. My heart and soul can’t be upset with you. You’re sweet, but forward. You’re gentle with yours words, but you say what’s on your mind. Yet… you’re still so caring. You’re so handsome and cute. You’re pretty and adorable. I can’t hate you. I can’t despise you. I can’t be upset with you. Like I keep saying, my heart yearns for you; it yearns for your love. It yearns for what you gave me.
You left it all behind in a single hour, like it was nothing. Feelings don’t change in an hour without someone convincing you! Do you actually still love me anymore? Did you even love me when you wanted to go on a break? Was our relationship a game to you? Was I just.. a game to you? I gave you everything I had, I trusted and believed you, and you just left like that? After everything; all the gifts, food, money spent, and even the handmade letters I mailed you! Was it not enough? Was I not enough? Why did you give up on us? … Why does it feel like you gave up on me?
I miss you. I miss us.
To my Sunflower, From your Daylily