Home health medical records audit form
Raddit
2008.12.01 17:48 Raddit
We aim to become the reddit home of medical imaging professionals and lay-users interested in medical imaging.
2011.03.01 01:47 flipmosquad r/23andMe
Talk about your genes and their possible implications! Discord: https://discord.gg/3Jjc3GdmtB
2009.08.03 18:21 kingofbigmac DiagnoseMe
The Internet's walk-in clinic. Because going to a doctor would be too expensive.
2024.06.02 08:31 AdditionalAd9753 My(34F) husband(34M) is a husk of the man, I knew. What can I do to fix thing up between us?
Burner account cause he knows about my normal one, and I don't want to hurt him more. Also, long post incoming with some potentially triggering topics, but its all relevent information to set up my situation
My husband (34M) and I(34F) loved each other from the bottom of our hearts, but its not like that anymore. 5 years ago, things changed between us and now everything is so differemt.
He came from an abusive household, and also has a pair of mental health disorders. His parents died in his teens, and that is when his Schizophrenia and Bipolar Disorder flared for the first time ever. Since then, he has been battling his own mind, and not always succesfully (He has scars up and down his arms, which is why he only wears long sleeved clothes now). When we got together, things where initially rough between us, but it got much better and it quickly bloomed into a relationship, which culminated in marrying one another. Even thouhh he was medicated, had a stable job and income, and a house of his own, his trauma used to come back and his meds where sometimes not enough. But even still, life was good for us. We traveled together to whereever we wantes. We had a great sex life (He was a Dom and I a Sub). We had anything we could ever want. And our future was set due to some savvy and lucky investments.
This culminated about 5 years ago, when I became pregnant. I will admit, I did not handle it with grace because I was not certain that I wantes to have children, nor did I want to bring a child into this world who cpuld pote tially inherit my Depression and Anxiety, and his Bipolar and Schizophrenia. I ended up running away back to my parents home, without telling him, and was there for weeks, during which I miscarried, which sadly I feel grateful for. I feel terrible about being happy about this, even to this day, but at the time it was a relief. My husband however basically went off the deep end. He didn't eat for 12 days, didnt drink wster for 12 days, didn't take his meds for 12 days, didn't sleep for 12 days, and the worst of his cutting happened during these 12 days. After that, he was incarcerated at a mental hospital after an altercation with the police, until I finally gathered the courage to return home and found him missing (the police ended up putting the pieces together and telling me where he was).
When I saw him, I was shocked. He was quite literally skin and bones. His eyes where still sunken in from a lack of sleep. And I will never forget the fresh scars on his arms. According to both himself, he thought that I had left him, he went off his meds, and the voices told him that the only way to "win me back" was to prove that he was good enough to go without the crutches. I have never, ever felt so guilty in my life, because I shouldn't have bolted like that, and I shouldn't have kept him in the dark about it. Maybe of I had been better then, things would be different, but alas here we are.
The man I knew is now gone. He was kind, fun-loving, gentle, great in bad, and more importantly he wanted to have a real relationshio and be better then his parents. Now, he doesn't do anything for himself. Literally the week after he came hoeme, he went WFH full time. While I am at work, he is at home all the time. The dishes are always done. Food is always on the table. The garden never has any weeds. The floors are always dusted. All of these things we used to do together, and we enjoyed doing it together. Now when I get home at the end of the day, there is nothing to do with him. Even in bed, things have changed. I mentioned how he used to be a Dom, and me a Sub, well thats completely inverted now. I have to tell him what to do, and even then all he does is pleasure me, but when I try to reciprocate it, he doesn't respond and it always ends with him getting me off and thats it. He doesn't express any emotion for himself. Its always for me
Its not just this stuff between us either. Its like he is not even living his life anymore. He used to be great friends with his coworkers and other from the nieghborhood and go out once or twice a week. Now he doesn't even talk to them or anyone else outside of work or the 1 minute of small talk whikst getting the mail. His favorite band of all time was having an anniversary tour, and he got tickets months in advance. When the time came around, I had a business trip to go on, and he insisted on not only taking a day off work to drop me off at the airport, but he also skipped the concert to pick me up. Mind you, this band was what got him through his rough childhood, and this man has posters plastered over the walls, and listens to them non-stop. And he skipped their concert to pick me up from the fucking airport. I did not even ask him to do it, I was originally going to take an Uber to and from, and I told him to go to the concert. Lo and behold, there he was waiting at the airport for me.
I have tried to talk with him about all of this, so many times, and his usual response is something like, "If you are happy, then I am happy" even though I know thats not true. The man waits on me hand and foot, does everything to make me happy, and I can tell that he is the inverse of happy. I don't/can't complain about what he is doing, because I am the cause of this and because he does everything for me, to try and make me happy.
Its like...he isn't living life actively anymore. Everything is just a routine for him. Only once has the facade ever broken, and it was when I found him curled up on our bed, in the middle of the day, sobbing his eyes put. He just kept telling me not to leave him, over and over again, for hours, which is how I know this is my fault.
I really have no idea what to do anymore. I have resorted to doing things I know he liked to do, just so that he can live some part of his life. I love this man, but he is a husk of his former self, and I miss him so much. I would do anything to get him back, but I just don't know what to do.
We have tried therapy together for a year now, and individually he has been in therapy for a very log time. Nothing seems to be working. If I have to throw myself off a bridge so that he can forget about me and live normally, I would do it at this point. I normally would not come onto the internet for advice from strangers, but I have no idea what to do, and I desperatly need suggestions/ideas on how to fix things between us.
submitted by AdditionalAd9753 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
My husband (34M) and I(34F) loved each other from the bottom of our hearts, but its not like that anymore. 5 years ago, things changed between us and now everything is so differemt.
He came from an abusive household, and also has a pair of mental health disorders. His parents died in his teens, and that is when his Schizophrenia and Bipolar Disorder flared for the first time ever. Since then, he has been battling his own mind, and not always succesfully (He has scars up and down his arms, which is why he only wears long sleeved clothes now). When we got together, things where initially rough between us, but it got much better and it quickly bloomed into a relationship, which culminated in marrying one another. Even thouhh he was medicated, had a stable job and income, and a house of his own, his trauma used to come back and his meds where sometimes not enough. But even still, life was good for us. We traveled together to whereever we wantes. We had a great sex life (He was a Dom and I a Sub). We had anything we could ever want. And our future was set due to some savvy and lucky investments.
This culminated about 5 years ago, when I became pregnant. I will admit, I did not handle it with grace because I was not certain that I wantes to have children, nor did I want to bring a child into this world who cpuld pote tially inherit my Depression and Anxiety, and his Bipolar and Schizophrenia. I ended up running away back to my parents home, without telling him, and was there for weeks, during which I miscarried, which sadly I feel grateful for. I feel terrible about being happy about this, even to this day, but at the time it was a relief. My husband however basically went off the deep end. He didn't eat for 12 days, didnt drink wster for 12 days, didn't take his meds for 12 days, didn't sleep for 12 days, and the worst of his cutting happened during these 12 days. After that, he was incarcerated at a mental hospital after an altercation with the police, until I finally gathered the courage to return home and found him missing (the police ended up putting the pieces together and telling me where he was).
When I saw him, I was shocked. He was quite literally skin and bones. His eyes where still sunken in from a lack of sleep. And I will never forget the fresh scars on his arms. According to both himself, he thought that I had left him, he went off his meds, and the voices told him that the only way to "win me back" was to prove that he was good enough to go without the crutches. I have never, ever felt so guilty in my life, because I shouldn't have bolted like that, and I shouldn't have kept him in the dark about it. Maybe of I had been better then, things would be different, but alas here we are.
The man I knew is now gone. He was kind, fun-loving, gentle, great in bad, and more importantly he wanted to have a real relationshio and be better then his parents. Now, he doesn't do anything for himself. Literally the week after he came hoeme, he went WFH full time. While I am at work, he is at home all the time. The dishes are always done. Food is always on the table. The garden never has any weeds. The floors are always dusted. All of these things we used to do together, and we enjoyed doing it together. Now when I get home at the end of the day, there is nothing to do with him. Even in bed, things have changed. I mentioned how he used to be a Dom, and me a Sub, well thats completely inverted now. I have to tell him what to do, and even then all he does is pleasure me, but when I try to reciprocate it, he doesn't respond and it always ends with him getting me off and thats it. He doesn't express any emotion for himself. Its always for me
Its not just this stuff between us either. Its like he is not even living his life anymore. He used to be great friends with his coworkers and other from the nieghborhood and go out once or twice a week. Now he doesn't even talk to them or anyone else outside of work or the 1 minute of small talk whikst getting the mail. His favorite band of all time was having an anniversary tour, and he got tickets months in advance. When the time came around, I had a business trip to go on, and he insisted on not only taking a day off work to drop me off at the airport, but he also skipped the concert to pick me up. Mind you, this band was what got him through his rough childhood, and this man has posters plastered over the walls, and listens to them non-stop. And he skipped their concert to pick me up from the fucking airport. I did not even ask him to do it, I was originally going to take an Uber to and from, and I told him to go to the concert. Lo and behold, there he was waiting at the airport for me.
I have tried to talk with him about all of this, so many times, and his usual response is something like, "If you are happy, then I am happy" even though I know thats not true. The man waits on me hand and foot, does everything to make me happy, and I can tell that he is the inverse of happy. I don't/can't complain about what he is doing, because I am the cause of this and because he does everything for me, to try and make me happy.
Its like...he isn't living life actively anymore. Everything is just a routine for him. Only once has the facade ever broken, and it was when I found him curled up on our bed, in the middle of the day, sobbing his eyes put. He just kept telling me not to leave him, over and over again, for hours, which is how I know this is my fault.
I really have no idea what to do anymore. I have resorted to doing things I know he liked to do, just so that he can live some part of his life. I love this man, but he is a husk of his former self, and I miss him so much. I would do anything to get him back, but I just don't know what to do.
We have tried therapy together for a year now, and individually he has been in therapy for a very log time. Nothing seems to be working. If I have to throw myself off a bridge so that he can forget about me and live normally, I would do it at this point. I normally would not come onto the internet for advice from strangers, but I have no idea what to do, and I desperatly need suggestions/ideas on how to fix things between us.
2024.06.02 08:24 nunuvyabisnis For wanting to abandon my 2 kids and husband
I've been in an extremely rough spot lately, and want to leave my 2 kids and husband. Now before you judge I do have, in my eyes, good reasoning. I would rather leave my kids and let them know when they want to either via letter or face to face.. reasoning would be that I could not take care of them properly, I would do more harm being there than leaving. I do know myself after all... although its so hard to believe someone could be so cruel to their own kids..I fear I lack control in my emotions. After being on medication for years I still lose my cool. I'm a whole different person when I'm over stimulated and things keep going wrong.. After having 2 under 2... already my fault I know.. I have just been spiraling mentally. I don't think I would ever hurt my kids but I can definitely understand why people do hurt themselves or their kids. IM NOT SAYING ITS RIGHT BY ANY MEAN. I'm starting to yell at my babies, 2 under 2 (one is hardly half of a year old while the other is just under 2) I know this is my fault because I know what happens due to my actions. But this is so much mentally for me, my husband helps as much as he can but due to late nights and between sleep its really just me. But I'm also constantly on the go and lack sleep. I'm puking, losing weight rapidly 40 lbs in 3 months, and am not the nicest person to my kids when I'm overstimulated. In fact if I don't straighten up my kids will start to remember me as someone who would yell often or even abused them (different for everyone yanno). I feel like I constantly am unintentionally trying to pick a fight with my husband every day.. It's like its an unintentional cry for some adult conversation. All I hear everyday is crying and screaming more than laughter. We dont have transportation for the kids and I to get out to see other people and we just moved across country away from all our friends and family. As a kid I had parents who fought often, due to ones mental health being so bad.. More than 90% of my memories are yelling or just not being the parent I knew they could be.. I would much rather them parent from a distance until they had gotten better to parent us.. If at all.. as a kid I dont believe I would have understood but as an adult I would have thanked them more than doing what they had.. I just dont want that for my kids. I dont want to be a villain in their story. I know this wont last forever but I need a break to get better.. I dont know who to turn to.. Family cant just drop everything to help us nor can they home me/my kids & I. Husband cant stop working due to bills and needing to home 2 kids.. But if I continue to stay and not get sleep and continuously hear children day in and out I fear what I might do when I snap..
Now that I think of it... is this a cry for help? Who can lead me in the right direction or have multiple directions if A-Z doesn't work
submitted by nunuvyabisnis to AITAH [link] [comments]
Now that I think of it... is this a cry for help? Who can lead me in the right direction or have multiple directions if A-Z doesn't work
2024.06.02 08:07 mysticmonarch222 Feeling very hopeless
Sorry this is depressing, but I need to get it off my chest and some support, advice, encouragement, etc would be helpful. I know I’m not the only one who could use it.
I’m usually really good at keeping myself busy enough that the mental health aspect of suffering with endo doesn’t hit me hard enough to keep my down, but i’m really losing so much hope. My biggest issue right now is the 10cm cyst on my left ovary (a 10cm endometrioma took my right ovary two years ago) causing me increasingly more pain each day. I’ve been on Myfembree for about 7 months and it’s helped with my flare ups being so constant and being so debilitating, so i’ve managed the endo pain better than in the past. I have stage 4 endo, with adhesions everywhere. My bladder, colon, fallopian tubes, bowels, sciatic nerve they suspect but haven’t confirmed, and who knows where else. I’ve adjusted and push through, but this massive cyst is something I cannot deal with anymore. The pain never stops, and it throbs and feels sharp. It feels heavy. It’s causing my left side to hurt so bad, and I haven’t been sleeping barely at all because I usually sleep on my stomach and I can’t now. Pain meds do not touch it.
I do not have insurance. I had to leave my last job that gave me great insurance because it was shot up while I was there and I was too scared to go back. My new job is amazing in every way, accommodating, awesome coworkers and manager, understanding if I need to leave early or take off due to pain but no health insurance. It’s a locally owned business so right now it’s just dental and vision, which i’m grateful for but I need health insurance. I can’t get on medicaid, I wasn’t approved for special enrollment for marketplace insurance, I can’t afford out of pocket for insurance, and I can’t afford to pay to see a specialist tbh even with insurance because there’s none close to me. The ER of course can’t do anything for me but I keep going because it’s my only option right now. They can’t remove the cyst until it’s a medical emergency, and so far my left ovary torsion has not happened (is it bad I wish it just would?) like my right did so they won’t do anything. I tried following up with a sliding scale OBGYN and she was no help. I’m fighting for a hysterectomy but i’m in a southern state and having zero luck being in my early 20’s with no kids. I have always wanted to adopt so a hysterectomy is not an issue to me at all.
Sorry that was a lot but basically, I’m not sure what to do. I don’t know what other resources are out there for me. I have BPD, anxiety, depression, and ADHD so I have already struggled a lot with this, but it’s really getting to me now. Two years ago the only reason anyone listened to me (not that I did this to get them to listen) was because I tried to take my life due to the pain from the massive endometrioma and the ER sending me home saying it was a UTI. I had a blood infection from my ovary dying and rotting in me. I’m just having those desperate thoughts again of wanting relief, and help, and not having either.
I’m not sure what to do anymore. I’m so tired. I miss my life, I miss living it.
submitted by mysticmonarch222 to endometriosis [link] [comments]
I’m usually really good at keeping myself busy enough that the mental health aspect of suffering with endo doesn’t hit me hard enough to keep my down, but i’m really losing so much hope. My biggest issue right now is the 10cm cyst on my left ovary (a 10cm endometrioma took my right ovary two years ago) causing me increasingly more pain each day. I’ve been on Myfembree for about 7 months and it’s helped with my flare ups being so constant and being so debilitating, so i’ve managed the endo pain better than in the past. I have stage 4 endo, with adhesions everywhere. My bladder, colon, fallopian tubes, bowels, sciatic nerve they suspect but haven’t confirmed, and who knows where else. I’ve adjusted and push through, but this massive cyst is something I cannot deal with anymore. The pain never stops, and it throbs and feels sharp. It feels heavy. It’s causing my left side to hurt so bad, and I haven’t been sleeping barely at all because I usually sleep on my stomach and I can’t now. Pain meds do not touch it.
I do not have insurance. I had to leave my last job that gave me great insurance because it was shot up while I was there and I was too scared to go back. My new job is amazing in every way, accommodating, awesome coworkers and manager, understanding if I need to leave early or take off due to pain but no health insurance. It’s a locally owned business so right now it’s just dental and vision, which i’m grateful for but I need health insurance. I can’t get on medicaid, I wasn’t approved for special enrollment for marketplace insurance, I can’t afford out of pocket for insurance, and I can’t afford to pay to see a specialist tbh even with insurance because there’s none close to me. The ER of course can’t do anything for me but I keep going because it’s my only option right now. They can’t remove the cyst until it’s a medical emergency, and so far my left ovary torsion has not happened (is it bad I wish it just would?) like my right did so they won’t do anything. I tried following up with a sliding scale OBGYN and she was no help. I’m fighting for a hysterectomy but i’m in a southern state and having zero luck being in my early 20’s with no kids. I have always wanted to adopt so a hysterectomy is not an issue to me at all.
Sorry that was a lot but basically, I’m not sure what to do. I don’t know what other resources are out there for me. I have BPD, anxiety, depression, and ADHD so I have already struggled a lot with this, but it’s really getting to me now. Two years ago the only reason anyone listened to me (not that I did this to get them to listen) was because I tried to take my life due to the pain from the massive endometrioma and the ER sending me home saying it was a UTI. I had a blood infection from my ovary dying and rotting in me. I’m just having those desperate thoughts again of wanting relief, and help, and not having either.
I’m not sure what to do anymore. I’m so tired. I miss my life, I miss living it.
2024.06.02 07:49 Scourged_Coyote PPD Skin test
Hey, so I've just been hired for the position of VST by AMR. I filled out all of their forms, did their background check and drug test but, I forgot one thing, the PPD Skin Test form at the bottom of one of the 9 emails they sent me. I was supposed to get it done by their clinic, Pro Active Health Care, but since I didn't see it, I went to my primary care doctor and got one done. My orientation is on Monday, 2 days from now, and I can't see my doctor and get the form that says I'm clear until Monday. I've tried contacting my recruiter, the hiring manager, and administrator at the AMR I was hired at with no luck, they are out for 4 days. Will I get sent home for not having my Skin Test done? Or will they understand and show me some lienency?
submitted by Scourged_Coyote to NewToEMS [link] [comments]
2024.06.02 07:47 No_Maintenance3543 Fly me to the moon (Brazilian phonk remix)
 | submitted by No_Maintenance3543 to TheOldZealand [link] [comments] |
2024.06.02 07:39 lastoutlaw93 I am desperately seeking guidance in turning my life around at 30 from heavy Marijuana use and a sedentary lifestyle. Is this reversible? and how to get out of this lifestyle.
Age: 30
Sex: M
Height: 5'10
Weight: 157 lbs
Race: Asian
Drugs: Marijuana, Zyn Nicotine pouches (6 mg)
Medications: Pepcid when needed
Current conditions: Anxiety, Acid reflux, Chronic constipation, indigestion
Smoke: Yes (Marijuana - heavy with edibles usage as well)
Drink: very rarely (once in 6 months if so)
History: I always had stomach issues, got an endoscopy and colposcopy done 6 months ago, and got 5 precancerous polyps removed from my stomach and intestines. I have inflammation in my stomach (negative for Barret's Esophagus or any other condition. MRI with contrast came out normal for the abdomen and blood work was normal as well except fatty liver finding (doc told me not to worry)
My primary complaint :
I'm reaching out today because I'm at a breaking point and desperately need your guidance to turn my life around. For the past 3.5 years, I've been trapped in a destructive cycle of heavy marijuana use, spending most of my days lying down and barely moving. My focus is almost non-existent, even though I work from home. My days are consumed with anxiety, and my health is suffering.
Recently, I had precancerous polyps removed from my stomach and intestines through endoscopy and colonoscopy. This, coupled with ongoing digestion issues, has amplified my health anxiety. I'm constantly worried about my well-being, and I know I need to change before it's too late.
I want to reclaim my life and start a healthier, more fulfilling lifestyle. I'm 30 years old, and it's high time I take control of my health and happiness. Here's what I need help with:
I've always been someone who helps others, but now I find myself in a mess and desperately need help. Any advice, personal experiences, or resources you can share would mean the world to me. I know this is a significant change, but I'm determined to take my life back and start living better.
Thank you all in advance for all of your support and help I really appreciate it I am A 30-year-old desperately ready for change
Please tell me how do I get my life on track !!!! or
submitted by lastoutlaw93 to AskDocs [link] [comments]
Sex: M
Height: 5'10
Weight: 157 lbs
Race: Asian
Drugs: Marijuana, Zyn Nicotine pouches (6 mg)
Medications: Pepcid when needed
Current conditions: Anxiety, Acid reflux, Chronic constipation, indigestion
Smoke: Yes (Marijuana - heavy with edibles usage as well)
Drink: very rarely (once in 6 months if so)
History: I always had stomach issues, got an endoscopy and colposcopy done 6 months ago, and got 5 precancerous polyps removed from my stomach and intestines. I have inflammation in my stomach (negative for Barret's Esophagus or any other condition. MRI with contrast came out normal for the abdomen and blood work was normal as well except fatty liver finding (doc told me not to worry)
My primary complaint :
I'm reaching out today because I'm at a breaking point and desperately need your guidance to turn my life around. For the past 3.5 years, I've been trapped in a destructive cycle of heavy marijuana use, spending most of my days lying down and barely moving. My focus is almost non-existent, even though I work from home. My days are consumed with anxiety, and my health is suffering.
Recently, I had precancerous polyps removed from my stomach and intestines through endoscopy and colonoscopy. This, coupled with ongoing digestion issues, has amplified my health anxiety. I'm constantly worried about my well-being, and I know I need to change before it's too late.
I want to reclaim my life and start a healthier, more fulfilling lifestyle. I'm 30 years old, and it's high time I take control of my health and happiness. Here's what I need help with:
- Breaking the Marijuana Habit and not getting into something else (addictive personality): I need help to cut down and eventually quit smoking weed. What strategies, resources, or support groups have worked for others? I rely on weed to eat , when I am bored - I never like being sober, but now it's too much and I want to get out this !
- Getting Active: I’m a complete beginner when it comes to exercise, and I've been incredibly sedentary. How can I start incorporating physical activity into my daily routine? Are there specific exercises or routines that are good for beginners? what should I do to detox my body and kick start everything? How do I feel good from constant pains in body and not being fit both physically and mentally ?
- Diet and Nutrition: My diet is a mess, I eat at uneven times - sometimes I eat , sometimes don't eat all day and my digestion issues are worsening my anxiety. What dietary changes can I make to improve my digestion and overall health? Are there specific vitamins or supplements that could help? How should i start eating with proper schedule and retrain my body? Any detoxes required on the way?
- Mental Health: My health anxiety is overwhelming, and I need to develop a more positive mindset. I watch porn a lot as well :( What techniques, therapies, or practices have helped others manage health anxiety and build mental resilience? Yoga, watching any therapy videos or music ?
- Building a Support System: I feel isolated and need a community or support group to keep me motivated and accountable on this journey. Where can I find such support?
I've always been someone who helps others, but now I find myself in a mess and desperately need help. Any advice, personal experiences, or resources you can share would mean the world to me. I know this is a significant change, but I'm determined to take my life back and start living better.
Thank you all in advance for all of your support and help I really appreciate it I am A 30-year-old desperately ready for change
Please tell me how do I get my life on track !!!! or
2024.06.02 07:20 brophy87 Post from UBC's property trust newsfeed
 | The University of British Columbia is expanding its presence south of the Fraser River with the $70-million purchase of a property in Surrey. submitted by brophy87 to SurreyBC [link] [comments] UBC Properties Trust has acquired a 135,000-square-foot property—currently home to the Grace Hanin Community Church—at the intersection of King George Boulevard and Fraser Highway. The site, which is located close to SkyTrain, Surrey Memorial Hospital and other community amenities, is anticipated to be a combination of residential and commercial space which will generate revenue to enable the construction of dedicated academic facilities. The acquisition of the Surrey site supports the achievement of a key commitment in UBC’s strategic plan to work with partners on the development of the university’s regional presence, as well as providing an exciting opportunity to improve access to post-secondary education in the Fraser region.The acquisition of the Surrey site supports the achievement of a key commitment in UBC’s strategic plan to work with partners on the development of the university’s regional presence, as well as providing an exciting opportunity to improve access to post-secondary education in the Fraser region. UBC already has a significant presence south of the Fraser, with nearly 3,500 students, 750 faculty and staff, and thousands of alumni who call Surrey home. The university has numerous partnerships within the city of Surrey and other regional partners around urban design, sustainability, health technology and innovation, data science, traffic safety, K-12 education, immigrant settlement and more. Together with Fraser Health, First Nations Health Authority and the Government of B.C., UBC trains health students and medical residents in the Fraser region. Every year, more than 4,900 health student and medical resident rotations take place in hospitals, primary care settings and clinics across the Fraser, where learners train alongside world-class clinical faculty in areas such as family practice, emergency medicine, midwifery and other specializations. About 200 students in nursing also undertake their training in Fraser Health, while about 100 pharmaceutical science students take part in placements at 57 sites in the Fraser region. |
2024.06.02 07:19 Illustrious-Cat4310 Update: WIBTA for leaving my fiancée after losing my dream job
Would I (27 M) be the asshole for leaving my fiancé (30 f). I hold a master’s degree in education and communication and behavior disorders. I say that not to brag but add context. I am a homebound educator for kids with autism and basketball coach at the school district I grew up in and graduated from. When I say this was my dream job I truly mean it, it was everything that I ever wanted in a job. My fiancé makes more money than me and she is a medical receptionist. She has three kids from three previous relationships. Her oldest kid (10 M) is autistic and on homebound education. This means he doesn’t go to school like the rest of his siblings. Because I work with kids with Autism she thought it would be a good idea for me to stay home with him and change my caseload
However, due to no one being able to take him while I was going to work with clients and clients can’t come to our home because my step son is here with me. I ended up losing my job because I couldn’t keep up with my caseload. My fiancé thinks this is fine because I wasn’t making that much money anyway and it frees me up to spend more time with my step son. It is also difficult because I am not driving at this time due to my seizure disorder flaring up again so I haven’t gotten to leave the house in 6 days because my fiancé says she is too tired to drive after being at work and she needs me to stay with the kids so she can decompress. She goes out to the van that I am paying for and sits and watches Netflix for an hour while I make sure the kids have dinner and are doing homework. I feel bad because she was a single parent for 10 years and I am trying to help out as much as I can but sometimes I feel like I am being used. My brothers, my dad and my aunt are all telling me to leave but I feel I can’t because I do love her and I love the kids but I am struggling just a little bit with it. WIBTA
UPDATE: for those who don’t know I am in AA and have decided to go live in a sober house with a couple of the men from my group. After talking it over with my partner I finally said that it is not working and then last night in front of the kids I had a seizure and my fiancée and the kids think that I was doing it for attention (they get worse with stress). She then proceeds to tell me she has grown disconnected from me and she is jealous of me that I get to stay home and take care of her kids. She said that she doesn’t love me and doesn’t need a man in her life and she has finally found herself after 12 years of dating losers and trying to force square pegs into round holes. She also said that I am preventing her from being the mom she wants to be. I am however taking the van that I pay for. EDIT: I have been applying for new jobs and have a few leads, as for my health I’ve been put on a longer term seizure control medication she has three kids with three men.
UPDATE: it is three months since I’ve made the original post, I have found a new full time job have been going to about 20 AA meetings a week. I’ve learned that she reached out to someone she had a sexual experience with after I left. I understand that she going to do what she is going to do but I don’t think that her reasoning made much sense. Her reasoning for doing that is that the night I left I reached out to a sober friend of mine (27 F) that I used to drink with in high school to go to a meeting that night. She thought I reached out to the friend so that we can have sex. I didn’t and haven’t had sex with my friend and am not looking for a relationship at this point. Not only that she tried to reach out to me again. I am healthy happy and sober I am close to a year and continue to work towards that. Thank you for all of the support and advice.
submitted by Illustrious-Cat4310 to AITAH [link] [comments]
However, due to no one being able to take him while I was going to work with clients and clients can’t come to our home because my step son is here with me. I ended up losing my job because I couldn’t keep up with my caseload. My fiancé thinks this is fine because I wasn’t making that much money anyway and it frees me up to spend more time with my step son. It is also difficult because I am not driving at this time due to my seizure disorder flaring up again so I haven’t gotten to leave the house in 6 days because my fiancé says she is too tired to drive after being at work and she needs me to stay with the kids so she can decompress. She goes out to the van that I am paying for and sits and watches Netflix for an hour while I make sure the kids have dinner and are doing homework. I feel bad because she was a single parent for 10 years and I am trying to help out as much as I can but sometimes I feel like I am being used. My brothers, my dad and my aunt are all telling me to leave but I feel I can’t because I do love her and I love the kids but I am struggling just a little bit with it. WIBTA
UPDATE: for those who don’t know I am in AA and have decided to go live in a sober house with a couple of the men from my group. After talking it over with my partner I finally said that it is not working and then last night in front of the kids I had a seizure and my fiancée and the kids think that I was doing it for attention (they get worse with stress). She then proceeds to tell me she has grown disconnected from me and she is jealous of me that I get to stay home and take care of her kids. She said that she doesn’t love me and doesn’t need a man in her life and she has finally found herself after 12 years of dating losers and trying to force square pegs into round holes. She also said that I am preventing her from being the mom she wants to be. I am however taking the van that I pay for. EDIT: I have been applying for new jobs and have a few leads, as for my health I’ve been put on a longer term seizure control medication she has three kids with three men.
UPDATE: it is three months since I’ve made the original post, I have found a new full time job have been going to about 20 AA meetings a week. I’ve learned that she reached out to someone she had a sexual experience with after I left. I understand that she going to do what she is going to do but I don’t think that her reasoning made much sense. Her reasoning for doing that is that the night I left I reached out to a sober friend of mine (27 F) that I used to drink with in high school to go to a meeting that night. She thought I reached out to the friend so that we can have sex. I didn’t and haven’t had sex with my friend and am not looking for a relationship at this point. Not only that she tried to reach out to me again. I am healthy happy and sober I am close to a year and continue to work towards that. Thank you for all of the support and advice.
2024.06.02 07:10 Odd-Act905 My (30F) Catholic husband (29M) left me for another woman, what should I do?
My husband and I have been married for almost 4 years and we have a 3 year old son. I'm very extroverted and have a lot of friends while my husband is very introverted and only has 3 friends who all happen to be female. Over the past year and a half, he got very close to one of them but I never put the kibosh on it because he has so few friends. Just at the beginning of May he had a couple nights where he did not come home because he was at her house. On the second night that he did not come home, I waited up for him and confronted him when he came in the front door. I gave him the ultimatum to either stop talking to her or to leave. At first he decided to stop talking to her and to work on our relationship. However, after a few days, he decided it wasn't worth it after we had done a silly marriage workbook and I just ended up asking him about accountability. I wanted to know what kept him from doing this again or what kept him from abandoning me when something more so severe in my life may be going on like ill physical or mental health. He has also done other things like spend $500 on a stripper on my last birthday when he was on a work trip out of town, and then after I had my son he racked up more than $800 in bills on only fans. He thought about it for a moment and told me that he was only going to hurt me again and again, and that there was no reason to try. I ended up convincing him to stay and that it would be worth trying for to keep stuff together for our family.
However, a couple days later I caught him messaging her again. I confronted him and he told me that while he loved me, he wasn't romantically in love with me. That I wasn't meeting his needs and I didn't understand him like she did. At this point we were still having sex at least twice a week. I helped him get his green card. I helped him get his license back. I bought him a new car every time he wrecked one. And I just helped him get into college. It was also smoking anywhere from 100 to $300 worth of weed every week, and I was just taking it on the chin and figuring out our finances around it. At this point, I just asked him to leave. He cried and moaned while I made him pack a bag, and was upset that I was asking him to leave which would prevent him from being there for our son. However, I told him if he remained I wouldn't be able to be there for our son, and that's what mattered the most to me.
He ended up leaving and staying with his stepdad. According to his mother and his sister, he's been taking money from his dad because he said I was still receiving his paychecks (which I am not) and that he has been into his dad's medical cabinet to try to take painkillers and his dad's diabetic needles. The girl that he is hooking up with has mental health issues and with drug usage. He also has prior issues with drug usage. He's also been switched psych medications four times in the past year.
At one point he offered to reconcile and just get to come home by stopping seeing her. But I told him that there was way more that we would need to work on before he could come home. He ended up going back to her and then trying to come back to me. And then just yo-yoing between the two of us for several weeks before he eventually decided to just pick her. He's now trying to blame the end of our marriage on me for being a "mean bitch who is no fun" and that I'm not accountable for my actions in ending this. However, I had overlooked so much of his previous bad behavior to remain in a relationship with him so my son would have a father. I tried to get him to help me understand what I had done wrong, and he told me that I was impossible to communicate with which is why he never communicated his needs to me.
He has also told me that he doesn't want any more kids, and that he doesn't believe in God. He told me that co-parenting our son will be fine, even though I've told him how much my parents divorce at a similar age deeply ended up wounding me as a child. He thinks just because he's going to be around some. It's better than his father who wasn't around at all. However, I told him sometimes it's more painful to have your dad two cities away living a life with a new family than it is to have an immovable image completely gone from your life.
He talks about co-parenting our son, but he is only seeing him a handful of times in the month that he's been gone. Most of those occasions have been at my suggestion and I have also been present. He's also stood us up once because he told me he had gone to the woods to contemplate suicide instead of meeting up with us. He doesn't call our son every night even though a FaceTime call with him would probably only last like 2 to 5 minutes. He's only sent me $320 to deal with expenses in the month that he has been gone along with getting our son a haircut. At each of these meetings he starts off by being horrible to me and rude. By the end, he's softened and does whatever he can to spend as much time with me and my son before he leaves. Even after my son goes to bed he wants to hang out and smoke a joint together. However, this last time he came to drop our son off, he got really sore at me because one of our mutual friends had sent him pictures of a conversation I had with them. In the conversation, I had Said that my husband and this girl are in a codependent cabal, and the only thing that they have in common are poor morals and bad teeth. He was upset by that but all of it was true. Now he refuses to see me or communicate with me. He told me that he wants to be friends but I can't say mean stuff like that. However, he says a bunch of mean things to me all the time about me being a horrible wife and how perfect this new woman is. Both of us want to be friends for the benefit of our son, but I just don't think I have it in me. He always says things to me to make me feel low, and he acts like I should just be over it even though it hasn't even been a month yet.
My life has completely changed and I feel so much grief over the life I thought I had, the partner I thought I had, and the future that I thought I had. It feels like a devil has crawled into his skin and is walking around pretending to be him. I feel so much resentment being left to pick up the pieces of our life and to hold everything together for our son. He gets to go run away and fuck someone new, while I have to be strong and stoic. I don't understand how I can be friends with someone who's hurt me so much and has cared so little. He's going to miss out on so much of our son's life and he doesn't even care. He's just convinced himself that life with me would be miserable. Even though we had so many good times together, and I had always tried my hardest to make him happy and to make sure our family's needs were met. He didn't even want to go to therapy and he didn't even want to try to start things over by dating me again. I'm just so disappointed.
I don't know where to go from here. I am definitely talking to a divorce lawyer. I worry about whether or not he's using drugs, and whether or not he'd be safe around our son. I definitely don't want this woman around our son and he doesn't see the big deal with it. Should I just cut him out of my life? Should I cut him out of my son's life? Should I try to be friends with him? It's all so hard because it's just all so shocking and I still love him. Part of me wants to reconcile but also part of me is starting to realize how easy my life is without him around. He's also also kept trying to make reconciliation not an option. What should I do?
submitted by Odd-Act905 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
However, a couple days later I caught him messaging her again. I confronted him and he told me that while he loved me, he wasn't romantically in love with me. That I wasn't meeting his needs and I didn't understand him like she did. At this point we were still having sex at least twice a week. I helped him get his green card. I helped him get his license back. I bought him a new car every time he wrecked one. And I just helped him get into college. It was also smoking anywhere from 100 to $300 worth of weed every week, and I was just taking it on the chin and figuring out our finances around it. At this point, I just asked him to leave. He cried and moaned while I made him pack a bag, and was upset that I was asking him to leave which would prevent him from being there for our son. However, I told him if he remained I wouldn't be able to be there for our son, and that's what mattered the most to me.
He ended up leaving and staying with his stepdad. According to his mother and his sister, he's been taking money from his dad because he said I was still receiving his paychecks (which I am not) and that he has been into his dad's medical cabinet to try to take painkillers and his dad's diabetic needles. The girl that he is hooking up with has mental health issues and with drug usage. He also has prior issues with drug usage. He's also been switched psych medications four times in the past year.
At one point he offered to reconcile and just get to come home by stopping seeing her. But I told him that there was way more that we would need to work on before he could come home. He ended up going back to her and then trying to come back to me. And then just yo-yoing between the two of us for several weeks before he eventually decided to just pick her. He's now trying to blame the end of our marriage on me for being a "mean bitch who is no fun" and that I'm not accountable for my actions in ending this. However, I had overlooked so much of his previous bad behavior to remain in a relationship with him so my son would have a father. I tried to get him to help me understand what I had done wrong, and he told me that I was impossible to communicate with which is why he never communicated his needs to me.
He has also told me that he doesn't want any more kids, and that he doesn't believe in God. He told me that co-parenting our son will be fine, even though I've told him how much my parents divorce at a similar age deeply ended up wounding me as a child. He thinks just because he's going to be around some. It's better than his father who wasn't around at all. However, I told him sometimes it's more painful to have your dad two cities away living a life with a new family than it is to have an immovable image completely gone from your life.
He talks about co-parenting our son, but he is only seeing him a handful of times in the month that he's been gone. Most of those occasions have been at my suggestion and I have also been present. He's also stood us up once because he told me he had gone to the woods to contemplate suicide instead of meeting up with us. He doesn't call our son every night even though a FaceTime call with him would probably only last like 2 to 5 minutes. He's only sent me $320 to deal with expenses in the month that he has been gone along with getting our son a haircut. At each of these meetings he starts off by being horrible to me and rude. By the end, he's softened and does whatever he can to spend as much time with me and my son before he leaves. Even after my son goes to bed he wants to hang out and smoke a joint together. However, this last time he came to drop our son off, he got really sore at me because one of our mutual friends had sent him pictures of a conversation I had with them. In the conversation, I had Said that my husband and this girl are in a codependent cabal, and the only thing that they have in common are poor morals and bad teeth. He was upset by that but all of it was true. Now he refuses to see me or communicate with me. He told me that he wants to be friends but I can't say mean stuff like that. However, he says a bunch of mean things to me all the time about me being a horrible wife and how perfect this new woman is. Both of us want to be friends for the benefit of our son, but I just don't think I have it in me. He always says things to me to make me feel low, and he acts like I should just be over it even though it hasn't even been a month yet.
My life has completely changed and I feel so much grief over the life I thought I had, the partner I thought I had, and the future that I thought I had. It feels like a devil has crawled into his skin and is walking around pretending to be him. I feel so much resentment being left to pick up the pieces of our life and to hold everything together for our son. He gets to go run away and fuck someone new, while I have to be strong and stoic. I don't understand how I can be friends with someone who's hurt me so much and has cared so little. He's going to miss out on so much of our son's life and he doesn't even care. He's just convinced himself that life with me would be miserable. Even though we had so many good times together, and I had always tried my hardest to make him happy and to make sure our family's needs were met. He didn't even want to go to therapy and he didn't even want to try to start things over by dating me again. I'm just so disappointed.
I don't know where to go from here. I am definitely talking to a divorce lawyer. I worry about whether or not he's using drugs, and whether or not he'd be safe around our son. I definitely don't want this woman around our son and he doesn't see the big deal with it. Should I just cut him out of my life? Should I cut him out of my son's life? Should I try to be friends with him? It's all so hard because it's just all so shocking and I still love him. Part of me wants to reconcile but also part of me is starting to realize how easy my life is without him around. He's also also kept trying to make reconciliation not an option. What should I do?
2024.06.02 07:10 Blockchain-TEMU DBT-L John Green - Disney Princess Existing in the First Underworld and Very Old There, so a Golf Ball Spewing Mastubatory Douche Free Miracle Giver?
- John Green is a photographable wizard and is jaytechs father and has some weird magic associated to doing golf ball magic with his mouth and anus which is not for real but him getting a water tattoo and he is a photographable wizard and the cave is apparent around him and he tried to justify this to see the 1st yitvah and did but we cannot take him out of the cave now, for reasons, and he shits 30 golf balls like being tazed out his ass and I Put Him On Stan Mueller's M1 Hold and We Call him Golf Balls and He Shits two more golf balls and this was as much magic he did and never shat and he is truly on M1 hold now for like i don't know something involving a prostitute and wizard meth and fratboygen and I have no interest ever even when looking at her masturbating at the fleecia who is good loam user at least and because I know fleecia's not Flecia but Fleecia Green Name she is a disney princess and Violet Roze Marian's Disney Princess and She knows some very erotic signs at the overworld is why she is keep advancing herself in the overworld and asks about My Little Syndey and City and other Sity and these are all the bitch slut of putin and cool and good and you aren't in any trouble just needed your anal beads pulled to reading this and did not pee yourself but that is your douche and hake sees your for private actual sex education about now his double special place who that finally gives Jacob the Sex Education he is supposed to have with you as her from the First Underworld not Anybody but Fleecia then can audit with me verbal as john green after you touch City as a grandma you are required to give reds on City who City is not really willing and pees on your mouth as a grandma for the reds and you don't laugh about it ever and This summons when you smoke meth in my evidence room 404 which I am typing this here you will form from john green in natural mitosis my jaytech who is wanted for his cod account there and then I send Fleecia home from being you and hit the hind98 and pray honestly for the first time to alex the lion to make the golf ball shitting normal shitting and put the cave still there reconciliation and not John and Fleecia or John as Nick or something and then she is better Fleecia at the First Underworld for she can generate her reds now to anal and nasal sex and I still never had sex with either sex ed teacher or had an erection. Then I can talk to john green. 1.1 I photograph john green with his son markus green and this fixes a lot of problems the nigger of the john was never always with his daddy and the lover of the hind and using the hind as a baby harry zhang was there targeting john with the heliflopter flops power terraflops of brain. Then, I photograph the sex ed teacher Fleecia which this is the valid fleecia I wanted for my Robo Scanner game and do not do DXM as a result by having fleecia as my only robo scan, I am a tech now and Jacob Tech and not all that dissatisfied with going to warren house for photographing fleecia as it was a hella route of passage to join the marines in 8th grade and serve in war games for 29 operation right one after the other cumming greatly to my little sydney inside me who Arya Svit-Kona is on way in a spotter scope in illegal brainfuck until the end of these 29 operation which happen rapidfire orgasm to Arya Svit-Kona which births the evil rapindra from audiobombs his elvish child and save the 29 combat dummy of hake who hake is abashed in the shower then and a daddy but was male for some reason despite wanting it in the ass hake is make and cannot take this and then they smoke amphetamine which this is not as good as meth but with enough vapor the breathyzer is filled of Jacob and Hake is Out of there, to the Second Underworld where Jacob is also there and they Hake and Jacob are in a baby gynecology contest of ageis alongside Schiwnn and Tim who did the same thing and schiwnn won and tim has some new bracelet today as usual in the 2nd Yitvah of the Third underworld, they get a freaky friday every one week now and karen is in cat shit one and there for a week and will be given her zyprexa IV in her right hand and it wasn't evil karen, it was insect trainer karen. So john gets to teach history now that the thing is fixed, and he is prophetic loam and gets it just right to give me orders on the course in my 1st yitvah personal 0th yitvah confirmment of not being trapped in the 0th yitvah forever, I summon Code Violet from Code Green which this is the only ever known patient who had their own Code Violet they got called themselves for vigalante rock and P256 and M4 justice and wears combat plates now as a result so the police install EOD juggernaut for the person and he survives the yitvah therein as invading troops for the second time he experiences it then john green has to give advice to the 0th yitvah, that was the 2nd yitvah interpretation and kortac summons us briefly to the First Underworld to talk to us as their sissys and we always audit clear there with I generally give implicature and Hake is my Left and Violet is My Right and I Have a Dental Limbic and I have no Sissy and No Daddy and A Wedge and 2 Balls in Me.
2024.06.02 07:01 Comedian-Desperate Some food philosophy
TLDR: I have nuts(raw), fresh fruit and tea for breakfast every day because I can.
I got depressed recently and ate some junk food even though eating healthy is something I love... So I took a look at my diet and realized two things... 1. We(husband and I) were having all our fruit in smoothie form, recently having mango+berries+plant milk every day. 2. We were having all our nuts in nut bar form. There's some healthy ones that contain nothing but nuts+dry fruit.
If this sounds a bit rich, it is. I care about our health, it was a good investment, but when I got depressed making a smoothie became too much work and nut bars didn't appeal to me because I got so used to expect food to be super enjoyable and everything tasted bland. Now that food wasn't making me happy I found myself eating junk that didn't even do anything for me.
Nuts, fruit and tea are all foods I struggle to eat on their own. Eating an apple alone can make my stomach hurt. Eating nuts alone makes me get this disagreeable sensation of choking on powder from chewing them. Tea is something I can't remember to make or to drink once I made it.
So... I decided to train myself to eat them anyway, because how awesome is it when you need a snack to be able to get it in the fruit isle? It's like cheat codes irl. I had some apples at home which I was going to wait until they looked like hell before throwing them away, now they were just a bit off. I took an apple and a handful of the first nuts I found, almonds. Normally I would create a mix of nuts if I felt brave enough to serve us something so... plain, but now I thought "that's extra work", and extra work can turn into an excuse, or will be too much when I'm depressed. For a few days I had apples, almonds and tea every morning. In combination they actually taste great, so I practice eating them in isolation too so I don't end up relying too much on the flavor. Some days my breakfast will taste like whatever and that's ok, because that's exactly what will allow me to master and own this thing.
A-and.... it works. I used to buy a bag of apples and have it around for a month, thinking I should find the time to cook them or make them into ice cream because eating them was not appealing enough. Now I don't rely on food being appealing. If a fruit tastes bad I'll throw it away but it usually tastes ok or good. I stopped expecting food to taste great all the time and life got easier.
I was so tired of trying to build a life where everything is so chaotic around me and there's so little I can control so I asked myself "what's something I could I do that I could make into a part of me, something nothing and nobody can take away?". I was hoping to come up with more ideas, but this way of relating to food stood out because it truly does give me stability. I will always be able to find 1 type of fruit, 1 type of nuts and 1 type of tea available. If I end up dirt poor, I can still eat that way. Right now tomatoes (95% water) here are about 3* the price of wallnuts (5% water), so nuts are incredibly affordable and incredibly nutritious. And if a war starts I can still eat that way. If there's a food shortage, ok, I have 1 year supply of nuts (10kg/22lbs) and tea (18 boxes*20bags). If I can't access those 3 ingredients it means something truly terrible has happened in the world and it doesn't matter how healthy I eat anymore anyway.
It's even easier to tell people "this is what I eat every single morning, no exception" compared to "I usually eat a healthy breakfast". I've had people with good intentions offer me stuff they considered good enough and had to say so many times "I don't eat x because" when I was living with family or they assumed I was so healthy I deserved a "treat".
submitted by Comedian-Desperate to minimalism [link] [comments]
I got depressed recently and ate some junk food even though eating healthy is something I love... So I took a look at my diet and realized two things... 1. We(husband and I) were having all our fruit in smoothie form, recently having mango+berries+plant milk every day. 2. We were having all our nuts in nut bar form. There's some healthy ones that contain nothing but nuts+dry fruit.
If this sounds a bit rich, it is. I care about our health, it was a good investment, but when I got depressed making a smoothie became too much work and nut bars didn't appeal to me because I got so used to expect food to be super enjoyable and everything tasted bland. Now that food wasn't making me happy I found myself eating junk that didn't even do anything for me.
Nuts, fruit and tea are all foods I struggle to eat on their own. Eating an apple alone can make my stomach hurt. Eating nuts alone makes me get this disagreeable sensation of choking on powder from chewing them. Tea is something I can't remember to make or to drink once I made it.
So... I decided to train myself to eat them anyway, because how awesome is it when you need a snack to be able to get it in the fruit isle? It's like cheat codes irl. I had some apples at home which I was going to wait until they looked like hell before throwing them away, now they were just a bit off. I took an apple and a handful of the first nuts I found, almonds. Normally I would create a mix of nuts if I felt brave enough to serve us something so... plain, but now I thought "that's extra work", and extra work can turn into an excuse, or will be too much when I'm depressed. For a few days I had apples, almonds and tea every morning. In combination they actually taste great, so I practice eating them in isolation too so I don't end up relying too much on the flavor. Some days my breakfast will taste like whatever and that's ok, because that's exactly what will allow me to master and own this thing.
A-and.... it works. I used to buy a bag of apples and have it around for a month, thinking I should find the time to cook them or make them into ice cream because eating them was not appealing enough. Now I don't rely on food being appealing. If a fruit tastes bad I'll throw it away but it usually tastes ok or good. I stopped expecting food to taste great all the time and life got easier.
I was so tired of trying to build a life where everything is so chaotic around me and there's so little I can control so I asked myself "what's something I could I do that I could make into a part of me, something nothing and nobody can take away?". I was hoping to come up with more ideas, but this way of relating to food stood out because it truly does give me stability. I will always be able to find 1 type of fruit, 1 type of nuts and 1 type of tea available. If I end up dirt poor, I can still eat that way. Right now tomatoes (95% water) here are about 3* the price of wallnuts (5% water), so nuts are incredibly affordable and incredibly nutritious. And if a war starts I can still eat that way. If there's a food shortage, ok, I have 1 year supply of nuts (10kg/22lbs) and tea (18 boxes*20bags). If I can't access those 3 ingredients it means something truly terrible has happened in the world and it doesn't matter how healthy I eat anymore anyway.
It's even easier to tell people "this is what I eat every single morning, no exception" compared to "I usually eat a healthy breakfast". I've had people with good intentions offer me stuff they considered good enough and had to say so many times "I don't eat x because" when I was living with family or they assumed I was so healthy I deserved a "treat".
2024.06.02 07:01 SwimmingOtter15 Feeling torn: is my mum being selfish by planning a long trip without considering my dad?
Sorry for the really long post, but felt the need to give context. Stuck between feeling like my mum is being selfish and also maybe doubting myself and thinking I’m being unreasonable.
My sister (38) and I (35) both live abroad. My mum (63) and dad (75) both live back home, which is about a 13 hour flight away, so safe to say we don’t see each other that often - we try to once a year - however, we are all really close.
My sister and I: we live in the same country, but about 2 hours away from each other, although we try and see each other as often as possible.
Mum: retired, but pension quite low so she still works freelance quite a bit for additional income.
Dad: retired, due to health conditions doesn’t work. Had a transplant 10 year ago but leads a normal life and is fully independent. Having said that, he is a 75-year-old transplant patient, so complications can always arise, the medication is quite debilitating, etc.
My mum really misses us and tries to plan trips to visit us as often as possible, regardless of other problems. She has been trying to plan a trip for about 1.5 years now but the country’s economic instability, plus their own personal financial situation means they’ve been putting it off. Truth is, she works her ass off, and really misses us, so I understand her reasons behind wanting to travel.
My dad, due to health condition making him feel quite exhausted all the time, plus feeling like their financial situation isn’t great at the moment, doesn’t feel like a month trip abroad is ok, even affordable. My mum has some secret savings so she think otherwise. And although, again, I understand my mum’s reasoning behind wanting to visit us, I completely agree with my dad.
Another caveat - when we plan trips like these, we usually all have a conversation together to try and find the best solution possible.
However, I get a message a few days ago saying that she has now booked a ticket to come for 5 weeks during July/ August. My sister was over there visiting for the last few weeks and I’m sure she pushed her to do it. And I’m quite annoyed for many reasons:
I feel like she made this really rash decision without considering consequences for people around her and unsure if she's being selfish or I'm overreacting.
Can I get some unbiased opinions on the situation please?
submitted by SwimmingOtter15 to family [link] [comments]
My sister (38) and I (35) both live abroad. My mum (63) and dad (75) both live back home, which is about a 13 hour flight away, so safe to say we don’t see each other that often - we try to once a year - however, we are all really close.
My sister and I: we live in the same country, but about 2 hours away from each other, although we try and see each other as often as possible.
Mum: retired, but pension quite low so she still works freelance quite a bit for additional income.
Dad: retired, due to health conditions doesn’t work. Had a transplant 10 year ago but leads a normal life and is fully independent. Having said that, he is a 75-year-old transplant patient, so complications can always arise, the medication is quite debilitating, etc.
My mum really misses us and tries to plan trips to visit us as often as possible, regardless of other problems. She has been trying to plan a trip for about 1.5 years now but the country’s economic instability, plus their own personal financial situation means they’ve been putting it off. Truth is, she works her ass off, and really misses us, so I understand her reasons behind wanting to travel.
My dad, due to health condition making him feel quite exhausted all the time, plus feeling like their financial situation isn’t great at the moment, doesn’t feel like a month trip abroad is ok, even affordable. My mum has some secret savings so she think otherwise. And although, again, I understand my mum’s reasoning behind wanting to visit us, I completely agree with my dad.
Another caveat - when we plan trips like these, we usually all have a conversation together to try and find the best solution possible.
However, I get a message a few days ago saying that she has now booked a ticket to come for 5 weeks during July/ August. My sister was over there visiting for the last few weeks and I’m sure she pushed her to do it. And I’m quite annoyed for many reasons:
- Feel like it’s not ok to leave my dad alone for 5 weeks
- Bang on in the middle of the 5 weeks, its my dad’s birthday so he would spend it alone (and usually they celebrate just the two of them as most his friends have passed away and his family lives abroad)
- I am away for 2 of those 5 weeks and she didn’t even ask what my plans were, etc.
I feel like she made this really rash decision without considering consequences for people around her and unsure if she's being selfish or I'm overreacting.
Can I get some unbiased opinions on the situation please?
2024.06.02 07:00 AuroraScars AITA For How This Relationship Ended?
I (29F) was in a 7/8month relationship last year and I'm just trying to process what the heck happened bc he (25M) made it seem like I'm the asshole and I'd like to know if I am, so I can work on it and not carry it over to future relationships.
It started with a reckless night. I'm studying overseas and he and I met on a d&d discord server. He happened to live where I was going so we planned to meet and he offered to help me with my first day of getting stuff done. We'd been close friends by the 5th month of me being there. I had just ended an online relationship that was overwhelming me and my family was coming to visit so I took him on a fancy night out where I paid as like a thank you in advance for driving me and my family around when they visit thing. After dinner we went to his place and I - now recognise as mistakenly - allowed uh intimate activity bc I was vulnerable and he made the first move. And it just kept happening.
Eventually, he started to ask for more despite me saying that I didn't think I was ready for a relationship. And he pulled out an ultimatum - relationship or nothing. I was torn bc at that point he was my best friend, my closest friend, in a country where I had no family. So I gave in and agreed. He said I have to be willing to do the work on myself and our relationship bc I have a lot of issues. So I promised that I would put in the effort to work on myself and be better.
Now in retrospect, I recognize I was afraid of being abandoned. But at the time, I thought myself in love, and that he cared about my wellbeing so deeply. I mean, he did spend hours listening to me talk about all the pain and trauma I'd experienced. So he must have truly wanted me to heal.
But once we got together, we stopped going on dates. We'd hang out at his place, occasionally meet his friends. I usually didn't go out bc I'm more of a homebody - I enjoyed my private space and doing my solo things. Then things started to bother me.
Like the state of his home - you could barely see the floor, the kitchen was a disaster area. And he didn't even have a proper bed. But I'd acquiesce and make a random comment (not often, just sporadically).
I personally just don't drink bc I don't enjoy it like most people do and I don't enjoy taking care of people who are super drunk (I'll do it anyway bc no one else does it but it actually really bothers me and I kinda hate it)
I like PDA but I don't like extreme proclamations back to back to back.
My ex used to get drunk around his friends and throw affection my way. He had no control over his liquor and every 5 mins would yell out that he loves me. Then he'd get very clingy bc I get uncomfortable in big groups sometimes and I try to hide or get some space. I don't like being touched or kissed by someone who's drunk (or when I'm pissed at someone) and that always bothered him. The overaffection was just overwhelming and he had a body odour thing every time he drank which just made it worse bc my nose is sensitive. It just brewed like a sense of resentment bc I'd communicate it to him and he'd just claim I'm trying to control him but honestly, I'm just trying to tell you that it doesn't make me feel good and maybe it can be a thing you do without me around.
And everything started piling up and I was pissed but I wasn't ready to talk about it bc I know I was overwhelmed and I just needed to sort through the things to try and give myself perspective and decide if I was overreacting or if I had legitimate things to be mad about. But he kept badgering me over and over and over while I was still mad. And I tried to not explode (successfully) but he started getting mad at me when I had explicitly told him I'm not ready to talk about it.
(I can't remember specifically what happened after, but we had a big fight. A very big fight. And he wanted to pull the plug. All because I wasn't ready to talk about it bc I didn't want to fight over what could potentially be nothing)
Eventually, he forgave me when I apologized for... well I don't remember what I apologized for. And we were good. I made sure to cook food that he could pack and take to work if he was staying over. Helped him plan some finances. We talked about how the next year or so would go. I had a little mental health struggle but he urged me to see a doctor and such and asked me to get on birth control.
There was then, an incident, totally not his fault. We both got carried away. I had to be celibate for a month and we got heated and when he almost broke the celibacy, I had a breakdown. I didnt know that would be a trigger, but he went on a shame spiral and started getting upset with himself so I consoled him. And we were okay. Didn't really speak about it again after that.
He had arranged for me to join an in person d&d campaign with his friends and I had a hard time keeping up bc I had classes and assignments so I had to miss a few sessions. When I got there and played a session, I did something wrong and everyone - including him - were upset with me. I apologised for it and said I wouldn't repeat that. Two weeks later, we had the next session and his friends kept making comments about the previous session throughout the 4 hours we were playing and... it started to get to me. I lashed out and told them to build a bridge and get over it.
When my ex was dropping me home, I expressed that I didn't like being treated like that, my friends don't do that to me. And he got mad at me bc he said and I quote "You're not taking responsibility for what you did. They've made fun of so many embarrassing things I've done, you don't see me getting affected by it". I didnt immediately respond (also bc I don't remember what I said) I do remember thinking "You can accept that kind of abuse from your friends if you want to, it doesn't mean I have to". When I got out of the car, I just said I am upset but I love you and I'm really tired. I didnt give him a kiss that night.
(For context, that was a Friday night. He had spent the entire week at my place bc he was sick and didn't want to be alone so I was taking care of him and feeding him)
On Saturday (3 days before my lease ended and we'd agreed I would move in with him temporarily), he asked how my house hunting was going. I told him the market is crappy rn and I can't find a decent place but I'm trying to. He said you really need to focus on that right now. I told him I am and I'll update you if there's a place, I love you. And he couldn't say it back so he said we need to talk.
He said I told many small white lies (example: I cut my finger, I ask for a tissue - bc bleeding - he asks if I'm bleeding, I say no) and it was overwhelming him and exhausting him. He said he knew its bc of how I grew up but he had mentioned it before (I don't remember if he did but he could have and I forgot) and I didn't work on it like I was supposed to.
He said ( based on the argument on Friday about the d&d game ) that I didn't take accountability for my actions and he couldn't trust me bc it showed that I was an untrustworthy person.
I said let's sit together and talk about this, these are things I can work on, we can tackle them as a couple and talk through them.
He then said I just don't love you anymore. I've talked to my family and friends and I think I mistook what I felt for you and thought it was love.
I tried to fight for him but I knew that I can't make someone love me so I was heartbroken, almost homeless (if not for some friends that had a spare room) and I had an exam in 2 weeks.
He said there's no good time to break up with someone and I didnt wanna drag it out (which I suppose was his form of mercy)
Its taken a year to process... for me bc he blocked me from everything after I returned his stuff. And it made me feel like the asshole? Then I rationalised that I did everything I possibly could, but did I? Maybe I didn't address his needs well enough? Maybe I didn't listen to his concerns enough? Maybe there's more I could have done to make him feel secure or sure? Maybe I was too headstrong and it overshadowed him?
I keep going round and round about it in my head. My therapist says it wasn't a loving and caring relationship. But like I remember a time when it was? But I also remember feeling so exhausted by it. Was it my fault? Am I the asshole? What could I have done better?
submitted by AuroraScars to AITAH [link] [comments]
It started with a reckless night. I'm studying overseas and he and I met on a d&d discord server. He happened to live where I was going so we planned to meet and he offered to help me with my first day of getting stuff done. We'd been close friends by the 5th month of me being there. I had just ended an online relationship that was overwhelming me and my family was coming to visit so I took him on a fancy night out where I paid as like a thank you in advance for driving me and my family around when they visit thing. After dinner we went to his place and I - now recognise as mistakenly - allowed uh intimate activity bc I was vulnerable and he made the first move. And it just kept happening.
Eventually, he started to ask for more despite me saying that I didn't think I was ready for a relationship. And he pulled out an ultimatum - relationship or nothing. I was torn bc at that point he was my best friend, my closest friend, in a country where I had no family. So I gave in and agreed. He said I have to be willing to do the work on myself and our relationship bc I have a lot of issues. So I promised that I would put in the effort to work on myself and be better.
Now in retrospect, I recognize I was afraid of being abandoned. But at the time, I thought myself in love, and that he cared about my wellbeing so deeply. I mean, he did spend hours listening to me talk about all the pain and trauma I'd experienced. So he must have truly wanted me to heal.
But once we got together, we stopped going on dates. We'd hang out at his place, occasionally meet his friends. I usually didn't go out bc I'm more of a homebody - I enjoyed my private space and doing my solo things. Then things started to bother me.
Like the state of his home - you could barely see the floor, the kitchen was a disaster area. And he didn't even have a proper bed. But I'd acquiesce and make a random comment (not often, just sporadically).
I personally just don't drink bc I don't enjoy it like most people do and I don't enjoy taking care of people who are super drunk (I'll do it anyway bc no one else does it but it actually really bothers me and I kinda hate it)
I like PDA but I don't like extreme proclamations back to back to back.
My ex used to get drunk around his friends and throw affection my way. He had no control over his liquor and every 5 mins would yell out that he loves me. Then he'd get very clingy bc I get uncomfortable in big groups sometimes and I try to hide or get some space. I don't like being touched or kissed by someone who's drunk (or when I'm pissed at someone) and that always bothered him. The overaffection was just overwhelming and he had a body odour thing every time he drank which just made it worse bc my nose is sensitive. It just brewed like a sense of resentment bc I'd communicate it to him and he'd just claim I'm trying to control him but honestly, I'm just trying to tell you that it doesn't make me feel good and maybe it can be a thing you do without me around.
And everything started piling up and I was pissed but I wasn't ready to talk about it bc I know I was overwhelmed and I just needed to sort through the things to try and give myself perspective and decide if I was overreacting or if I had legitimate things to be mad about. But he kept badgering me over and over and over while I was still mad. And I tried to not explode (successfully) but he started getting mad at me when I had explicitly told him I'm not ready to talk about it.
(I can't remember specifically what happened after, but we had a big fight. A very big fight. And he wanted to pull the plug. All because I wasn't ready to talk about it bc I didn't want to fight over what could potentially be nothing)
Eventually, he forgave me when I apologized for... well I don't remember what I apologized for. And we were good. I made sure to cook food that he could pack and take to work if he was staying over. Helped him plan some finances. We talked about how the next year or so would go. I had a little mental health struggle but he urged me to see a doctor and such and asked me to get on birth control.
There was then, an incident, totally not his fault. We both got carried away. I had to be celibate for a month and we got heated and when he almost broke the celibacy, I had a breakdown. I didnt know that would be a trigger, but he went on a shame spiral and started getting upset with himself so I consoled him. And we were okay. Didn't really speak about it again after that.
He had arranged for me to join an in person d&d campaign with his friends and I had a hard time keeping up bc I had classes and assignments so I had to miss a few sessions. When I got there and played a session, I did something wrong and everyone - including him - were upset with me. I apologised for it and said I wouldn't repeat that. Two weeks later, we had the next session and his friends kept making comments about the previous session throughout the 4 hours we were playing and... it started to get to me. I lashed out and told them to build a bridge and get over it.
When my ex was dropping me home, I expressed that I didn't like being treated like that, my friends don't do that to me. And he got mad at me bc he said and I quote "You're not taking responsibility for what you did. They've made fun of so many embarrassing things I've done, you don't see me getting affected by it". I didnt immediately respond (also bc I don't remember what I said) I do remember thinking "You can accept that kind of abuse from your friends if you want to, it doesn't mean I have to". When I got out of the car, I just said I am upset but I love you and I'm really tired. I didnt give him a kiss that night.
(For context, that was a Friday night. He had spent the entire week at my place bc he was sick and didn't want to be alone so I was taking care of him and feeding him)
On Saturday (3 days before my lease ended and we'd agreed I would move in with him temporarily), he asked how my house hunting was going. I told him the market is crappy rn and I can't find a decent place but I'm trying to. He said you really need to focus on that right now. I told him I am and I'll update you if there's a place, I love you. And he couldn't say it back so he said we need to talk.
He said I told many small white lies (example: I cut my finger, I ask for a tissue - bc bleeding - he asks if I'm bleeding, I say no) and it was overwhelming him and exhausting him. He said he knew its bc of how I grew up but he had mentioned it before (I don't remember if he did but he could have and I forgot) and I didn't work on it like I was supposed to.
He said ( based on the argument on Friday about the d&d game ) that I didn't take accountability for my actions and he couldn't trust me bc it showed that I was an untrustworthy person.
I said let's sit together and talk about this, these are things I can work on, we can tackle them as a couple and talk through them.
He then said I just don't love you anymore. I've talked to my family and friends and I think I mistook what I felt for you and thought it was love.
I tried to fight for him but I knew that I can't make someone love me so I was heartbroken, almost homeless (if not for some friends that had a spare room) and I had an exam in 2 weeks.
He said there's no good time to break up with someone and I didnt wanna drag it out (which I suppose was his form of mercy)
Its taken a year to process... for me bc he blocked me from everything after I returned his stuff. And it made me feel like the asshole? Then I rationalised that I did everything I possibly could, but did I? Maybe I didn't address his needs well enough? Maybe I didn't listen to his concerns enough? Maybe there's more I could have done to make him feel secure or sure? Maybe I was too headstrong and it overshadowed him?
I keep going round and round about it in my head. My therapist says it wasn't a loving and caring relationship. But like I remember a time when it was? But I also remember feeling so exhausted by it. Was it my fault? Am I the asshole? What could I have done better?
2024.06.02 06:58 Upstairs_Plane_8266 AITAH or is it my parents?
sorry this is long. For context, I am 29 years old and have been dating my boyfriend (now fiancé) for 5 years. I have been wanting to move in for about 2 years but have held off due to the fear of my very controlling parents. There are a lot of positives to moving in and I have been staying at my fiancé's house on and off a couple days at a time- for years. Recently I have had a health condition that developed and I needed some extra support and have been staying over for a month. I wanted to wait to move in a couple months after our engagement so my parents could have some time to feel like we didn't just get engaged to move in with each other, but this new health scare has kinda put it into perspective for me and it now just makes more sense for us to do what we want to be happy.
For background my parents are from Central America with a lot of culture and religious beliefs. They raised us ( I have an older sister) to be christian (baptist) and fairly conservative with our upbringing- so to them this is an ultimate sin (besides getting pregnant before marriage and other religious stuff like that). I have really lived my entire life for them, doing what they want and have been a people pleaser because of it. My mom has narcissistic tendencies and I see a lot of the toxic as I grow older and have my own opinions and beliefs.
here are just some conditions they put on my fiancé to propose to me ( which he replied, he'd happily do whatever I wanted):
So, I got the courage to finally do what I want and wrote a very respectful letter to my parents, asked them to meet with me and drove down with my fiancé (they live 3 hours away) to talk to them. They refused to speak to my fiancé because they wanted to speak to me alone, and that already had put me with a lot of stress because I wanted his support ( also as a secondary listener) to what my parents were saying to not be gaslit or anything. They say that my fiancé is not part of the family so he should not be involved ( mind you my sister had dated her husband for 10 years and they are now married...and they still say he is NOT FAMILY). My letter basically stated this is what I think is best for me at this stage in my life, I am not necessarily asking for their permission but I hope they can support me or at least respect it. That I know we have different beliefs and values and I understand their frustrations but I dont want to wait to live my authentic happy life.
also important to note: my mom has stated previously that I could live my life when they are dead *sigh*
anyways...clearly I feel like everyone knew that it wouldn't go great. and it didn't. I do think that we had an OK conversation and no one was yelling, we didn't agree and left it as that..and I left.
I woke up to this email (translated from Spanish):
----
“We just want to inform you about what we have decided based on your decision to move in with [fiancé] 1-Not only is it a great dissapointment for us your decision but more important it is a deep pain for both of us because we have based our life on raising them with good principles, morals, but above all obedience to God and what voice you plan to do is unpleasant in the eyes of God. 2-your dad says that if in the future you marry [ Fiancé name], he won’t deliver you like he did with your sister. 3- It makes me very sad that you use me as an excuse for what happened at your sisters wedding that were normal disagreements that were fixed But you only remember the negative. 4-economically you will no longer be helped, the goal of helping you is that you are not yet economically independent and that you do not feel the Pressure of Economically and that you didn’t feel the Move with someone on the roof, food, etc. to have a home with your parents. Your car insurance ends today, your phone line will be given to you until June so that you can transfer your data and information but by July we are going to disconnect your phone. 5-For holidays or when you want to come, you can come alone if you want, we don’t want to see [Fiancé name] because as a gentleman he is under the status of taken advantage of, and fake because if we had known that his intention was to move with you we would never have agreed to the commitment, he lied to us and deceived us. I don’t respect our values. Your dad says that we are not going to see you too, if you want you can come alone, and let us know when you are going to come. It is important that you know all this before you make the decision to go live with him and put yourself in a vulnerable situation. Think and meditate on everything well, so that later you don’t regret, a man’s manipulation towards a woman can be subtle but it is always manipulation.”
-----
there's a lot to unpack here, and well with my sisters wedding it was defiantly not normal disagreements: my mom called her ugly, refused to walk down with certain people, berated her and stated she was marrying into "that family" and pretty much traumatized me of weddings ...but this post isn't about my sisters experience.
I am able to financially support myself ( they have just always offered) so I never felt like it wasn't an issue. Moving in would help with saving money for medical school, wedding etc. but its not the only reason we want to take this next step.
I have been basically left with the choice to either move in with my fiancé and my parents cut us off and my dad doesn't walk me down the aisle ( most hurtful part). or I don't move in, but the damage is done with my fiancé, and this will enable them to treat me poorly and think that they can control me for the rest of my life.
its always been hard for me to distinguish the toxic and abusive patterns of my parents because I am first generation American and that guilt alone is wild, as well as I know what my parents have sacrificed and came from to give me a better life. But this letter feels like they are willing to just cut ties for 1 decision I am making... and friends have asked why don't we just get married...my parents also said they won't approve a fast wedding and well...they don't want me married until after med school (5 years down the line).
so it really comes down to: can I live with myself if I cut my parents off? and I just don't know. AITAH or is it them?
submitted by Upstairs_Plane_8266 to AITAH [link] [comments]
For background my parents are from Central America with a lot of culture and religious beliefs. They raised us ( I have an older sister) to be christian (baptist) and fairly conservative with our upbringing- so to them this is an ultimate sin (besides getting pregnant before marriage and other religious stuff like that). I have really lived my entire life for them, doing what they want and have been a people pleaser because of it. My mom has narcissistic tendencies and I see a lot of the toxic as I grow older and have my own opinions and beliefs.
here are just some conditions they put on my fiancé to propose to me ( which he replied, he'd happily do whatever I wanted):
- we have to move back to the city they live in. there's NO way we would be able to afford a house or live where they live.
- I have to go to med school alone ( to them it means single)
- we cannot get married before I graduate medical school I haven't even applied to med school yet
- I cannot move in with him
So, I got the courage to finally do what I want and wrote a very respectful letter to my parents, asked them to meet with me and drove down with my fiancé (they live 3 hours away) to talk to them. They refused to speak to my fiancé because they wanted to speak to me alone, and that already had put me with a lot of stress because I wanted his support ( also as a secondary listener) to what my parents were saying to not be gaslit or anything. They say that my fiancé is not part of the family so he should not be involved ( mind you my sister had dated her husband for 10 years and they are now married...and they still say he is NOT FAMILY). My letter basically stated this is what I think is best for me at this stage in my life, I am not necessarily asking for their permission but I hope they can support me or at least respect it. That I know we have different beliefs and values and I understand their frustrations but I dont want to wait to live my authentic happy life.
also important to note: my mom has stated previously that I could live my life when they are dead *sigh*
anyways...clearly I feel like everyone knew that it wouldn't go great. and it didn't. I do think that we had an OK conversation and no one was yelling, we didn't agree and left it as that..and I left.
I woke up to this email (translated from Spanish):
----
“We just want to inform you about what we have decided based on your decision to move in with [fiancé] 1-Not only is it a great dissapointment for us your decision but more important it is a deep pain for both of us because we have based our life on raising them with good principles, morals, but above all obedience to God and what voice you plan to do is unpleasant in the eyes of God. 2-your dad says that if in the future you marry [ Fiancé name], he won’t deliver you like he did with your sister. 3- It makes me very sad that you use me as an excuse for what happened at your sisters wedding that were normal disagreements that were fixed But you only remember the negative. 4-economically you will no longer be helped, the goal of helping you is that you are not yet economically independent and that you do not feel the Pressure of Economically and that you didn’t feel the Move with someone on the roof, food, etc. to have a home with your parents. Your car insurance ends today, your phone line will be given to you until June so that you can transfer your data and information but by July we are going to disconnect your phone. 5-For holidays or when you want to come, you can come alone if you want, we don’t want to see [Fiancé name] because as a gentleman he is under the status of taken advantage of, and fake because if we had known that his intention was to move with you we would never have agreed to the commitment, he lied to us and deceived us. I don’t respect our values. Your dad says that we are not going to see you too, if you want you can come alone, and let us know when you are going to come. It is important that you know all this before you make the decision to go live with him and put yourself in a vulnerable situation. Think and meditate on everything well, so that later you don’t regret, a man’s manipulation towards a woman can be subtle but it is always manipulation.”
-----
there's a lot to unpack here, and well with my sisters wedding it was defiantly not normal disagreements: my mom called her ugly, refused to walk down with certain people, berated her and stated she was marrying into "that family" and pretty much traumatized me of weddings ...but this post isn't about my sisters experience.
I am able to financially support myself ( they have just always offered) so I never felt like it wasn't an issue. Moving in would help with saving money for medical school, wedding etc. but its not the only reason we want to take this next step.
I have been basically left with the choice to either move in with my fiancé and my parents cut us off and my dad doesn't walk me down the aisle ( most hurtful part). or I don't move in, but the damage is done with my fiancé, and this will enable them to treat me poorly and think that they can control me for the rest of my life.
its always been hard for me to distinguish the toxic and abusive patterns of my parents because I am first generation American and that guilt alone is wild, as well as I know what my parents have sacrificed and came from to give me a better life. But this letter feels like they are willing to just cut ties for 1 decision I am making... and friends have asked why don't we just get married...my parents also said they won't approve a fast wedding and well...they don't want me married until after med school (5 years down the line).
so it really comes down to: can I live with myself if I cut my parents off? and I just don't know. AITAH or is it them?
2024.06.02 06:58 Noir888 Mafia suggestion
I hope the devs will see this one, IMO the mafia update is one of the best updates for the game but in its current state, its severely lacking.
Add illegal business
The crimes tab is bit of lacking as of now, and the way the "ranks" within a mafia family are partaking in those illicit activities are kinda awkward, Caporegimes stealing cars? the Godfather personally extorting a business? that's unrealistic, I suggest that "wet work" types of crimes should only be reserved for the associates and the soldiers, while the the Caporegimes can start or set up illegal business', like the following:
Second, the Capos can set up the business' independently or the higher ups orders a certain business to be operated.
Third, a maximum of 5 business' should only be allowed for each Capo (if the player Capo has 5 gambling dens but the higher ups wants to set up a drug trafficking business, one of the gambling dens should be demolished.)
Fourth, the generating income for the player Capo from those business will be similar to how the family takes cuts from the crimes tabs
Fifth, a maximum of only 3 (+1 if you reach the Capo rank) capos for a mafia family and 5 (+1 if you reach the Capo rank) Capos for the Sicilian Mafia.
Sixth, each business will have varying "sizes", for example before you can set up the business you have to choose how big the operation would be, a small gambling den? a large drug trafficking ring? and each "sizes" will correspond to generated profit, a small gambling den will generate less profit compared to medium size one etc. and each "size" will also generate "heat" for your character Capo, the smaller the operation the lesser "heat" generated.
Lastly, like I said in the beginning, the associates & soldiers, each of them will be assigned in to a Capo, and the Capo can delegate "wet work" types of crimes for each of them.
Rank Options:
Associates
The typical stuff from the crime tabs:
They will also get random orders from a made guy (not necessarily from a Capo.)
Salary: similar to how the players take a cut from performing crimes
Soldiers
Aside from the typical stuff, the Soldiers should be able to have "perform a hit" crime in the crimes tab, it can only be done thrice a year and each hit will be difficult than the last, it has high chance of getting caught but if successful it will improve your standing within the mob by a large degree (the payout should also be good, no pay cuts you take the full amount of the money being rewarded)
Caporegimes
They will also get a random orders from the Underboss or rarely from the godfathegodmother.
Underboss
In the mob, the Underboss is sometimes called the streetboss, because they oversee the entirety of the operations of the mob on a daily basis, he directly reports to the boss/godfather, so basing on that, the following options should be added into the game
The GodfatheGodmother
Day job
This option should be included, this will also be a good way to avoid police attention in-game or decrease your "heat", its awkward to see a unemployed schlep making millions of dollars every year and not get caught by the IRS or something lmao,
"Heat" system
For every crime you commit there a corresponding level of heat added to the character's overall "heat", the more serious the crime the more likely the police/feds will target you
Bodyguard system
As I observed in the game, you can easily whack anyone in your family, this should not be, by adding bodyguards, the chances of your success will decrease exponentially
The only sure-fire way to "whack" a family member is using the "put a contract" tab, the bodyguard system will not be in effect, because as the Godfather, every family member would obey you no question.
Mafia Wars
During a mafia war, business will generate lesser profits (or will even close down), the heat from the police will be much higher & funds will quickly diminish.
There will be only two ways to win a mafia war depending on the justification you chose, these will be:
Eliminate Competition
If you win the "take over their business" option, your illegal business will triple their profits, the rival family will be weakened, the police will be more wary of your crime family there's a big chance of rats & stings operations.
If other Crime Families sided with you during the war & you won, you will have to compensate them for 40 million
Ways to lose a mafia war
Some Factors in winning a Mafia War
Your family and friends should be wary of you being a mobster, for example, you mother or sister found out that your character is actually a mafia soldier, this will make them disown you, your relationships with them will instantly go to 0 & your happiness will also take a dive.
And the interactions within the mafia family should follow the hierarchy (For example, no associate should be able to directly access the GodfatheGodmother and ask him/her out to go and watch a concert of Lady Gaga lol)
Random Events
Random events should be according to your rank, for example, you're the current Mafia Godfather random events should be in line to your rank, a random guy suddenly insults you on the streets, there should be an option like putting a contract on his/her life or have your soldiers whack him/her or a celebrity starting a "beef" with you, you can either order your men to kill him or just order them beat him up.
Rival Gangs
If you choose to be in the Italian Mafia, your rivals should be the other gangs like Russian Mafia, Yakuza, Triad, Lating Mafia etc and If you're in Sicily, the rival family will be another Sicilian Mafia (i.e You're family is the Visconti Family your rivals will be another Sicilian family)
There should be also family rankings, for example, the Italian Mafia is the current most powerful crime syndicate in the city, followed by the Russian Mafia, followed by the Latin Mafia etc the rankings can change yearly depending on how much muscle (number of soldiers) & income of the families earn, you can also be the most powerful crime family for 10 years if you won a mafia war. If you choose to start a Mafia War the other families can join sides, for example the Italian Mafia waged a war against the Yakuza, the other families will join which side they want, or if you formed an alliance with another mafia family, they will side with you during the war no matter what.
So what do you guys think? You guys can add more of your ideas here.
submitted by Noir888 to BitLifeApp [link] [comments]
Add illegal business
The crimes tab is bit of lacking as of now, and the way the "ranks" within a mafia family are partaking in those illicit activities are kinda awkward, Caporegimes stealing cars? the Godfather personally extorting a business? that's unrealistic, I suggest that "wet work" types of crimes should only be reserved for the associates and the soldiers, while the the Caporegimes can start or set up illegal business', like the following:
- Gambling Den
- Prostitution ring
- Pornography Studio
- Drug Trafficking
- Loan Sharking
- Smuggling
- Arms Trafficking
- Labor Racketeering
Second, the Capos can set up the business' independently or the higher ups orders a certain business to be operated.
Third, a maximum of 5 business' should only be allowed for each Capo (if the player Capo has 5 gambling dens but the higher ups wants to set up a drug trafficking business, one of the gambling dens should be demolished.)
Fourth, the generating income for the player Capo from those business will be similar to how the family takes cuts from the crimes tabs
Fifth, a maximum of only 3 (+1 if you reach the Capo rank) capos for a mafia family and 5 (+1 if you reach the Capo rank) Capos for the Sicilian Mafia.
Sixth, each business will have varying "sizes", for example before you can set up the business you have to choose how big the operation would be, a small gambling den? a large drug trafficking ring? and each "sizes" will correspond to generated profit, a small gambling den will generate less profit compared to medium size one etc. and each "size" will also generate "heat" for your character Capo, the smaller the operation the lesser "heat" generated.
Lastly, like I said in the beginning, the associates & soldiers, each of them will be assigned in to a Capo, and the Capo can delegate "wet work" types of crimes for each of them.
Rank Options:
Associates
The typical stuff from the crime tabs:
- Bank Robbery
- Burglary
- Extortion (no "whack" option)
- GTA
- Pickpocket
- Porch Pirate
- Shoplift
- Train Robbery
They will also get random orders from a made guy (not necessarily from a Capo.)
Salary: similar to how the players take a cut from performing crimes
Soldiers
Aside from the typical stuff, the Soldiers should be able to have "perform a hit" crime in the crimes tab, it can only be done thrice a year and each hit will be difficult than the last, it has high chance of getting caught but if successful it will improve your standing within the mob by a large degree (the payout should also be good, no pay cuts you take the full amount of the money being rewarded)
- Ability to recruit Associates (if a current associate dies or have been promoted into a made man, you can able to recruit a associate to fill in a spot)
- They will also get a random orders from the Capo only
Caporegimes
- Set up illegal business
- Bribe city officials (another way to reduce police attention, success depends on the character's notoriety, the higher the notoriety the lesser chance of success)
- Assign work (this is for the associates & soldiers)
- Propose/recommend an associate (the capo recommends an associate to be made, the success depends on the relationship of the player capo to the underboss & the godfathegodmother)
- Settle disputes (this will improve the income of your crew, settle any disputes among the soldiers & associates or sort out any grudges)
- Do favors (you can grant favors to to local people, like a school teacher, a lawyer, a small business owner or even a municipal judge etc, you can later "cash in" with these favors, may it be monetary value for the family, legal protection or personal wealth etc.)
They will also get a random orders from the Underboss or rarely from the godfathegodmother.
Underboss
In the mob, the Underboss is sometimes called the streetboss, because they oversee the entirety of the operations of the mob on a daily basis, he directly reports to the boss/godfather, so basing on that, the following options should be added into the game
- Collect contributions/tribute (this is for the illegal business', this is only available once a year)
- Add a business (You'll order a Capo to operate a certain business)
- Propose a Soldier (same with the "propose/recommend an associate" option in the Capo rank but this time when a Capo dies a Soldier will be promoted to a Capo)
- Delegate a hit (when the godfathegodfather orders a hit the underboss will delegate it with one of their capos, the success depends on the capos intellect & willpower)
- Perform charity (at the behest of the godfathegodmother, you'll perform charity works to lower down the police attention of the family, lesser sting operations, lesser rats popping up. Just like the "bribe a judge" option, charity foundations will also be reluctant to accept funds if your heat/notoriety levels are too high)
- Bribe a judge (to protect family members from prosecution, depending the amount of money being given, the maximum years of legal protection will be 15, for example a soldier got caught murdering a rival family soldier, if the Underboss bribed a judge, the family soldier will not be convicted. the success of the bribe depends on the Underboss' "Heat"/Notoriety level, the higher the heat/notoriety the lesser chance the bribe will be successful, if yo fail to bribe a judge, you can be also arrested and tried)
- Procure weapons (Distribute weapons to each of the crews, it may be small handguns, shotguns or even assault rifles, this will increase protection of the business' and of the members of the family from the rival family during mafia wars, this option should available during peace time & mafia wars)
- Will also get a random orders from the GodfatheGodmother
The GodfatheGodmother
- Wage a mafia war against your rival family, there will be two sub options for this part, the justifications will either be "eliminate competition" (total destruction of the rival crime family) or "take over their business"(a "skirmish" type of conflict, instead of eliminating the rival family you instead take some of the "turfs") AI GodfatheGodmother should be able to wage a mafia war
- When a mafia war is ongoing, there will also be options for the GodfatheGodmother to pick, like "destroy rivals business", "take out their soldiers", "raid a rivals business" (unlike the destroy one, your soldiers will only raid for money), "order the hit of the boss of the rival family", "call for political support" (this basically calling on the police to take your side against your rivals, this is only available when you have a political ally, and depending on the position of your political ally if your political ally is a senator he/she can instantly imprison majority of the members of the rival family, if your political ally is the mayor of the city the only thing he/she can is increase the sting operations of the rival family), "ensue peace" (this can go both ways, when you lost the war you can still ensue peace, but the consequence will be either you're will be removed as the boss or worse be killed, and when you win, depending the choice you made for the cause of the war, you will be rewarded handsomely and a chance your rival family will be wiped out)
- Form alliance (Instead of going to war, you can also have the option end the rivalry between the families and start an alliance, work together in terms of business, this will generate bigger profits for your family but the downside is the police/feds will be now more active to take you down, more sting operations, more rats popping up)
- Support a local politician ( sub options are "fund a his/her election campaign" (or you can go to a more devious plot like rigging the elections), "eliminate his/her political enemies", "give a gift" etc, after gaining a political ally, you can now use him/her for your own ends, like "ask for political protection", "clean criminal records" etc.
- Support a national politician, same as the "support a local politician", besides the basic benefits, the benefits you receive if your national political bet wins (senator or presidency) your heat will be erased, no sting operations, no rats, if caught by the authorities the charges will be dropped and lastly if your character is engaged in a mob war, this political ally can instantly imprison the majority of the members of the rival family, thus increasing your chance in winning in a mob war. Downside is its much harder for your political bet to win, if you want a successful results or chance to win, either rig the elections (high risk of getting caught) or contribute 250 million into his/her campaign
- Order a business to be operated (same as the Underboss option)
- Put out a hit/put a contract (you can choose anyone from relatives, enemies, random people, friends and anyone in the family)
- Promote an underboss (when the current underboss dies, you can instantly promote any Capo for that position)
- Policy making (The GodfatheGodmother dictates on how the family runs its "business'" and passes certain "laws" within the family, for example, you can outright ban the drug trafficking business to reduce heat from the authorities or only men can join the family vice versa)
- Appoint front boss (appoint a "front boss" to insulate yourself from the feds/authorities, if your political bets didn't win the election you may choose this option instead, it lowers your heat/notoriety levels, lesser sting operations waged against you, and even if a sting operation is successful, the front boss will be the one who takes the fall & and rival family will have a hard time assassinating you during a mob war, The disadvantages are, it doesn't lower the chances of having rat in your family & no political backup during a mob war)
- Distribute funds (when a crew is an dire straits you may give them necessary funds to operate, the Capo will automatically owe you a "favor", you can later "cash in" these favors in terms of personal wealth, like cars, planes, boats, rings, or even properties)
- Go legitimate (This option will only be available when you're already the godfathegodmother for more than 15 years and have the enough funds (around 100m), this will dissolve all the illegal business of the family and turn you into a CEO of a legit company)
- Step down (retire as the GodfatheGodmother, to let the younger generation to take over, this option will increase health & happiness for the player character, and erases the notoriety/heat levels completely & you will also receive 250 million dollars, random events will pop up like a Caporegime from your family paying respects to you, a soldier seeks your advice/wisdom, or the underboss visits you to reminisce the good "old days" etc. these events will either increase your happiness or health)
Day job
This option should be included, this will also be a good way to avoid police attention in-game or decrease your "heat", its awkward to see a unemployed schlep making millions of dollars every year and not get caught by the IRS or something lmao,
"Heat" system
For every crime you commit there a corresponding level of heat added to the character's overall "heat", the more serious the crime the more likely the police/feds will target you
Bodyguard system
As I observed in the game, you can easily whack anyone in your family, this should not be, by adding bodyguards, the chances of your success will decrease exponentially
- Associates - 0 bodyguards
- Soldiers/"Made Guys" - 1 to 3 bodyguards
- Caporegimes - 5 to 10 bodyguards
- Underboss - 15 to 20 bodyguards
- GodfatheGodmother - 20 to 40 bodyguards
The only sure-fire way to "whack" a family member is using the "put a contract" tab, the bodyguard system will not be in effect, because as the Godfather, every family member would obey you no question.
Mafia Wars
During a mafia war, business will generate lesser profits (or will even close down), the heat from the police will be much higher & funds will quickly diminish.
There will be only two ways to win a mafia war depending on the justification you chose, these will be:
Eliminate Competition
- Rival family business are wiped out
- Rival family members are all dead or imprisoned
- Rival family business' are in ruins (this is determined on how much of their illegal business were destroyed)
- Rival family members are in disarray (this is determined on how much of their soldiers/"made guys" were killed/imprisoned)
If you win the "take over their business" option, your illegal business will triple their profits, the rival family will be weakened, the police will be more wary of your crime family there's a big chance of rats & stings operations.
If other Crime Families sided with you during the war & you won, you will have to compensate them for 40 million
Ways to lose a mafia war
- You've run out of funds
- Got arrested and convicted during a mafia war
- All of your family members are dead
- You willfully surrender to your rivals
Some Factors in winning a Mafia War
- Capos/Soldiers that have high Intelligence & Willpower have the higher chance of killing/wiping off enemy Soldiers/Members & Businesses
- Your family's number of Soldiers vs the enemies number of Soldiers, if you have a higher troop count, you have a bigger chance of winning the war, if both syndicates have the same amount of soldiers you may have a tougher time in winning the war.
- Number of political allies, having a political ally may also increase your chance in winning the war.
Your family and friends should be wary of you being a mobster, for example, you mother or sister found out that your character is actually a mafia soldier, this will make them disown you, your relationships with them will instantly go to 0 & your happiness will also take a dive.
And the interactions within the mafia family should follow the hierarchy (For example, no associate should be able to directly access the GodfatheGodmother and ask him/her out to go and watch a concert of Lady Gaga lol)
Random Events
Random events should be according to your rank, for example, you're the current Mafia Godfather random events should be in line to your rank, a random guy suddenly insults you on the streets, there should be an option like putting a contract on his/her life or have your soldiers whack him/her or a celebrity starting a "beef" with you, you can either order your men to kill him or just order them beat him up.
Rival Gangs
If you choose to be in the Italian Mafia, your rivals should be the other gangs like Russian Mafia, Yakuza, Triad, Lating Mafia etc and If you're in Sicily, the rival family will be another Sicilian Mafia (i.e You're family is the Visconti Family your rivals will be another Sicilian family)
There should be also family rankings, for example, the Italian Mafia is the current most powerful crime syndicate in the city, followed by the Russian Mafia, followed by the Latin Mafia etc the rankings can change yearly depending on how much muscle (number of soldiers) & income of the families earn, you can also be the most powerful crime family for 10 years if you won a mafia war. If you choose to start a Mafia War the other families can join sides, for example the Italian Mafia waged a war against the Yakuza, the other families will join which side they want, or if you formed an alliance with another mafia family, they will side with you during the war no matter what.
So what do you guys think? You guys can add more of your ideas here.
2024.06.02 06:51 futurebannedacct Choices
 | Hello, everyone. I'm out of my hibernation with another important message for you all and I know that just makes you so fucking happy and excited. submitted by futurebannedacct to CoronavirusCirclejerk [link] [comments] I wanted to remind everyone to check out my blog, which is one of the last bastions of free speech that is left in this god-forsaken place. Alright, now that I have officially tongued my own asshole to the point where pleasure turns to dysphoria, allow me to present to you: total bullshit! ... and some other things. Let's talk about choices. We make them everyday; life is all about them. This is a somewhat true statement - because life is really all about making sure you don't wake up - and choices play a significant role in this operation. Probably not so big a role as language, however, because language is the most deceptive tool in the arsenal of the ones with the power, so it is important that we choose our words wisely. For example, I keep hearing the phrase "forced vaccinations" or "mandatory vaccinations" being thrown around conspiracy forums, and this phrase, in itself, is an example of the deceptive power of words. We need to be honest with ourselves - because through honesty the truth is exposed - and the truth is the most well hidden part of this experience because the ones in power work to keep the truth hidden at all costs... because the truth will "set you free". But I digress. No one was forced to get vaccinated - not yet, anyway - so let's be honest about this: you might have chosen to take the jab, in order to keep your job, or you might have chosen to take the jab, in order to participate in society. This is a choice that you are making. Perhaps the stakes are high and you had a lot to lose if you chose not to take the jab; but until they are breaking down your door, holding you down, and sticking that needle in your arm - until that time - you are giving your consent to take the jab. This distinction is an important one to discern because we should be paying attention to the parts in life that are forced upon us and the parts in life that we are choosing to consent to. For example, no one forced us to wear masks for an entire year, but we all (for the most part) consented to doing so, in order to participate in society. We all chose to stand on the circles on the floor, in every checkout line, of every store. We made this choice for many different reasons - but in this community - many of us simply did this for other peoples "perceived well being". In other words, we were catering to the people that make up the majority and aren't as far along in the process of "waking up" as we are... although, many people seem to be choosing to remain asleep - for many different reasons - far from the most insignificant being "fear based programming". Allow me to share my perspective: for an entire year, we all wore masks in public: an action which is gradually weakening our immune system. Also in public, we practiced "social-distancing": an action that is also gradually weakening our immune systems. Many people - the drooling masses - took this social-distancing b.s. very seriously, for their own "perceived well being" (while virtue-signaling online that they were doing it for everyone else). So, the government asked us to all make a choice: to wear masks and social-distance for a year and - oh - almost forgot! Hand sanitizer - all over, suddenly - some so strong that it seems to be pure rubbing alcohol - killing all germs - and, well... gradually weakening our immune systems! The government had us all compromising our immune systems and overall health, in preparation to get vaccinated with something that sounds... frankly, batshit insane. Do you think this was all an accident? An innocent faux-pas on the part of our dear leaders? I think this was done intentionally. I've also prepared this meme, to help illustrate the conspiracy in question: The inspiration for this actually came from a post in that was written by someone who is, by no means, an anti-vaxxer, and overall still happy to be vaccinated... because the debilitating side-effects, self-replicating spike proteins is nothing compared to the constant onslaught of fear-based programming. "Trust the science". That's the last thing I think I'll do; thank you very much. Science is a bullshit factory specializing in limiting beliefs, which uses language to support any point of view that it chooses to support... and of course the point of view we are inundated with, in excess, is that of the ones in power. So please know that if you choose to educate me in the comments, about why the science behind social distancing, face masks and hand sanitizer is to our benefit then I'm either going to think you are being intentionally deceitful, or I will feel sorry for you because you have sincerely become this invested in the wrong direction of practices that are to your benefit. The moral of the story is that the words we use need to be chosen carefully, because when we choose words such as "forced" and "mandated", we are only working to deceive ourselves further away from the truth. The truth is that we are consistently bombarded with propaganda and manipulation, from the many resources available to the power structure, with the goal of getting our consent. The internet has been a great resource for the power structure to use for minimizing the power of consent. We must constantly "agree" to the terms and conditions that are made to be intentionally agonizing to read and understand. We are being trained to believe that consent is of little value or importance - consent is nothing more than a single click - in order to get to the prize on the other side. The truth may be that our consent is far more valuable than we realize: our consent is one of our most valuable assets. We need to pay attention to the effect that our consent has on our shared reality - because if there is one thing I learned, after experiencing psychosis - it's that the greatest sin is often committed by very kind people: the kind of people who are timid, helpful, and generous to a point where others take advantage of their kind, benevolent nature. Everyone knows someone who is in a relationship with a manipulative, controlling narcissist that walks all over them. Everyone knows someone who is kind, meek, and respectful of others... because they have no backbone. Someone who has lived a life of avoiding any and all conflict, at all costs, and chooses instead to allow others to take advantage of them. When you habitually allow others to walk all over you, this is your consent that "it's ok for others to do this to me". You are a worse person that the one who is violating you, because you think that it is ok for this to happen to you. Alright - that was just to set the mood for the actual post - which will begin..... ........ ......... now. CHOICES: PATRIOTIC EDITION In the spirit of (shudder) "the most free country on Earth" we're going to (I had a bad reaction to typing that just now, I find the idea to be suffocating and repulsive) talk about choices in red, white and blue. To be perfectly honest, I don't know that much about topics like "color programming", or the exact science and reasoning behind it; I just know that this color palette is used with enough frequency and in a way where there is likely some intent behind it. Perhaps it's as simple as feeling patriotic about democracy, constitutional rights, and other deceptive concepts that are total bullshit - or maybe - the meaning behind it goes far deeper, into the psychological manipulation that is induced by this particular color palette. When I saw that the magnet shared the same red/blue color palette, I realized that these colors are likely being used in order to put each individual into a state of polarization. CHOICE # 1 Games are fun. Games are based in conflict. Manufacturing reality by making conflict the biggest source for entertainment. Being alive involves the near constant activity of making choices. We are indoctrinated with the idea that having more choices is desirable. The power construct that is manufacturing reality has recently gone into overdrive in the manufacturing of choices. As the information age progresses through time, the amount of choices is becoming an ever increasing burden on the collective consciousness. The choices are presented using many different angles. A popular example is beliefs, which are currently being exploited by the manufacturers of choices more than any other time in the collective memory*...* which is always followed closely by the collective amnesia. Choices are deeply rooted in the DIVIDE AND CONQUER strategy, an all time favorite of the power construct. Choices are now being utilized in another favorite strategy for maintaining control: ORDER OUT OF CHAOS. Choices have an important role in the MANUFACTURING OF CONSENT, which is highly valued by the power construct. Consent is the oil that keeps the reality machine running smoothly, which is why so much effort is put into the illusion that consent has very little value. This illusion is concealed very well within the fabric of the intangible idea of reality that is overlaying the physical, material reality and has been so successful that consent is given almost instantaneously and without a second thought. Meanwhile, the illusion of value that has been given to currency is as strong as ever: remaining in its long-held position as one of the "pillars of control", which supports and maintains the power construct. The other pillar of control: the illusion of legitimacy, which several institutions within the power construct rely on, has been under maintenance, as a new version is being installed. While the anticipation for this new update slowly builds, the grand master illusion behind the power construct: FEAR BASED PROGRAMMING, - that's it - I'm giving up on this now. They're fucking plastic robots that hit each other until one of their heads... pops a boner? CHOICE # 2 A theme that seems to always accompany color-based choices emerges: everyone on the outside, looking in, sees an absolutely pointless rivalry. These dudes are victims of mind control. Well, after choice # 1 resulted in a train wreck of disjointed abstractions trying way too hard to be deep, meaningful observations, I am troubled by the thought of how many readers have probably given up on this. I want everyone that is still with me to know that, due to irrational fears about what anonymous online profiles might think about me, I will now focus primarily on "fitting in" and being likeable, by employing a strategy of trying very hard to not express any more ideas that might be considered "out there". Obviously, this is just the result of growing up poor and uneducated in the ghetto. I mean, who is crazy enough to actually believe that this is somehow connected to other rivalry's that use... very similar hues of red and blue. I mean, they are two of the most popular colors out there - both primary - and... realistically, there aren't that many colors; especially that complement each other like red and blue... ahh, blue and red: the colors of rivalry. There's no deep conspiracy here. Obviously, these guys wear these colors so they know who their enemies are... because, otherwise, there is no reason to kill each other. This is all about the colors. It would be completely pointless otherwise and these guys would probably get on well and hang out in each other's back yards... and then the cops would have nothing to do, which would be a waste of tax payer dollars. Can't have cops just standing around eatin' donuts and getting fat. CHOICE # 3 Coke & Pepsi. A classic rivalry that makes me proud to live in a free country, where great ideas like capitalism can flourish. I know that they are made by the same company, but I don't really think that matters, ya know? We are presented with choices. Our choices shape our opinions. So, if I choose red - I mean - Coke, then I will get along with others who choose Coke and we will agree that we chose correctly and that the people that prefer blue - I mean - Pepsi, chose incorrectly. Well, the people that chose blue think they chose correctly and that it is, in fact, the red people that chose incorrectly. This is a conflict of interests, and conflicts create division. People who are divided require a non-biased mediator so that order can be maintained and, because this mediator cares about the safety of both the red and the blue groups, it only makes sense that they should be given the authority to decide what is ok and is not ok for both groups. This is the most rational and logical option because the authority isn't biased towards red or blue, which means they will know what's best for everyone's interests. The police are there to make sure that all red and all blue people are all following all of the all-inclusive rules, mandated by the mediator, and all this is done for the greater good of society. I - I'm gonna get all choked up over here, just thinking about how nice the government is to do all that it does for us. They protect us from those fucking freaks that drink Pepsi. God I fucking hate those sub-human blue-tards! Red people generally have more money and are more successful, which means they are smarter. What started as a small neighborhood feud between Coke and Pepsi is actually how the gang warfare between the Bloods & Crips originated. That's right, they got the colors from Coke and Pepsi, which obviously is a lot more likely than a vast conspiracy involving powerful people manipulating reality in order to maintain control and power over the uninitiated masses. Fuck poor people. Oh, and how about those people that make their preference for Coke or Pepsi an aspect of their personality? They don't seem to understand that the color of the can is the only fucking difference. That's why I stick with Tab Cola, for those unmistakable metallic flavors and the uncomfortable, sticky feeling all over my body the next day. CHOICE # 4 They're the exact same store except for the fact that one is red and one is blue... and yet, you have a preference for one over the other. You made up some reasons for why they are different in your head, because you are under an immense amount of mind control. Ahh... consumerism**:** the arena of pointless choices. Why does only one company manufacture all the different brands of eyeglasses? Perhaps... to have control over the market? No - to have control over you, stupid - and no: this isn't a joke. It's a desperate plea, urging you to wake up and see this shit for what it really is, while you have this opportunity - this window - into the illusion. You see, they are getting desperate - and lately, the world seems like it has gone mad - which is part of their strategy, which is preventing you from seeing it. Why do you think there are suddenly twenty new M&M's flavor combinations? All these new Reese's Peanut Butter Cup's with minor alterations of essentially the same fucking thing? Let me guess: they're just having fun... right? Trying to stir up interest in candy bars? Or maybe for profit... right? This is just a business strategy to get your money... right? No... no... I'm afraid you're thinking way too small... with your logic and reason and all the other LIMITING BELIEFS that you have been - and are being - indoctrinated with: every fucking day! These are all pointless choices (brought to you by consumerism) that are trying to keep you distracted. Trying to keep your mind occupied. Why is Netflix trying to induce option paralysis? Why are the high-tech gadgets we use for entertainment purposes bombarding us with a constant onslaught of ads, new articles, stories, and a maddening amount of pointless bullshit?!?!?! They want you to be overwhelmed*;* they want you to freeze. They want you to have no sense of identity. They want life to overwhelm you with an endless list of pointless shit that has to get done in order to maintain... in order to maintain... to maintain what? THE ILLUSION, IDIOT. Ok: that was uncalled for. I don't think you're an idiot. I think that you know, in the bottom of your cold, gray heart , that the crazy shit I am saying sounds right (for some reason). They are manipulating reality in order to keep you under their power and control. I don't exactly know why, but I do know that they care a lot more about you being distracted than they care about worthless green paper. You know what? I bet the 1% doesn't give a shit about money: they simply have all of it just to piss you off. Why is all this corruption in the news all the time? The next fucking scandal that everyone can talk about? WHY is the news telling us to wear masks, get vaccinated and then, the following week, admitting COVID-19 is a bio-weapon? TO KEEP YOU DISTRACTED. THAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO THEM. Oh, and Walmart and Target's LOGOS both contain some occult symbolism. Yep: Target's logo is the astrological symbol for the sun and Walmart's logo is the Star of David... with the hexagon in the middle. The hexagon is symbolic of the cube. Once you understand that you can't not see the cube*.* It's fucking weird - but also a conversation for another time - when we can discuss why all of these well-known corporate LOGOs are symbolic of Saturn: https://preview.redd.it/vsv8fcvh834d1.jpg?width=511&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d9a14f0b398633824a2768e3128268aa6628c689 CHOICE # 5 You know what? I think I should devote a large portion of my life to watching a bunch of overpaid, mentally compromised, grown-ass men chase a ball around. I also think I should be passionate about the team that is closest to me in geographical proximity. This is not mind control, but as a conspiracy realist, I do like to point out that MK Ultra really did happen, and the CIA really did experiment with mind control back in the 1950's, but the program ended decades ago. I like to go on online conspiracy forums, and help people understand the reality of conspiracy theories, so they don't get sucked into lies like Q-anon or lizard people or THIS POST, WHICH IS OBVIOUSLY THE WORK OF A MENTALLY UNSTABLE INDIVIDUAL. Watching sports makes me feel safe, and comfortable, because it distracts me from all the bullshit of everyday life. It's good to have a nice distraction - and fill my mind with useless sports stats - or talk endlessly with the bro's about individual players strength's and weaknesses - in a boring, monotonous tone of voice - while I sip domestic piss-water beer. I don't want to think too deeply about things because it starts to make me really uncomfortable when I have to confront reality. I'd rather just not worry about it and see what happens. Who am I but a lowly speck of insignificant, worthless dog shit in this giant, scary universe, where I am completely powerless to do anything but take whatever beating the world feels like dishing out to me that day? I dunno. Maybe Jesus will come back and good will win out in the end. Good always wins in the end - that's just the way it works - so I don't really have to worry about anything. God is good. My little brother doesn't like sports at all. He likes to put on girls makeup, and is always depressed and confused and obsessing about some dumb shit. We're lucky to live in the modern age, with advancements in science that will allow my brother to medically transition into the woman that he always should have been - and always truly was - on the inside. Some assholes don't think that trans women are women. They just don't understand how science works, and don't care to learn. They are just misogynistic, transphobic assholes. That's right: if you don't think that you can be born a man and then change into a woman that means you are transphobic. You hate trans people because you don't want to believe that a man can change into a woman. Anyway - that's my brother -not me. I like guy shit... because I'm normal. CHOICE # 666 The choice of the beast Oh NO! Everyone hates politics - which is why I hid it at the end - because I know nobody is still reading this. I've alienated myself from the audience, with all the confusing switching between dialogues of seemingly different people and JUST BECAUSE I BET there will be some DIP-CLIP that says "voting is how we get things done around here." HA! Nice try, but this isn't about politics; this is a meta-analysis of WHY it's NO POLITICS. The short answer is that participating in this is as pointless as those people above, participating in gang warfare against their fellow man. "THOSE PEOPLE?" What do you mean, those people? Black people? THIS GUYS RACIST. No, even worse: HE'S INTOLERANT. The human race has become far too soft, weak and emasculated by the pesticides and environmental toxins that get dumped all over us, every day! GET VACCINATED for other people, you SELFISH CONSPIRACY THEORIST. This is why we aren't going to reach herd immunity and we will have to deal with COVID-19 for years to come: because of people like you. WHY WOULD I trust a RANDOM, intolerant asshole on Reddit, who watched a YouTube video about lizard people, over EXPERTS who WENT TO SCHOOL for years to become indoctrinated, believe everything the MSM tells them, and completely LACK the ability to critically think?! All my life I heard that I "need to go to college", and today I couldn't be happier that I am not of a "higher education" because, from what I've gathered, they are some of the most CLOSE-MINDED people on the planet. LIMITING BELIEFS. That's what trendy these days. I'm not done yet! Yes, I'm gonna talk about the donkey and the elephant: not only are politics bullshit; those who participate in politics are participating in a terrible, evil practice. Why would you affiliate with a political party and tell people what you think they can and cannot do? Can't you see that's the crux of the problem? I know things are fucked when the majority of people are of the opinion that we need to FIX the government (change it, drain the swamp, bureaucracy, etc.) They don't get it - we don't need to change the government - we need to END the government. Government is the single biggest threat to humanity. "But they protect us from the BAD people." Guess what? "The bad people" are there because of the government. The government needs the bad people to be there, in order to maintain their "illusion of legitimacy" (credit - Jim@EOI) and make themselves seem needed. THE BAD PEOPLE are the people who protect us. The sooner you understand that, the better off you are. And people are still talking about election fraud because they think that Trump is GOOD. Can't you see the mind control? How are these people this BLIND to reality? Manipulation of reality. Look... it's the superpowers. The greatest countries in the world! But why do they have the exact same color scheme as all the pointless choices? How can they be united? This is the divided states and the divided kingdom, and they have conquered. DIVIDE & CONQUER. Oh, wait... some patriots went off to find a new home and fight for freedom from the oppression of the taxation of the royal bloody palace? Only to go and make a new country even more oppressive and with higher taxes, some two-hundred odd years later? Are you SURE that it wasn't actually to commit GENOCIDE against all the indigenous BROWN PEOPLE, whose genetic makeup allowed them to have a far deeper understanding of spirituality? CoUlDn't bE Th*@*T.... I'M DRAWING A LINE IN THE SAND I am so sick of the average Redditor - who thinks they're smart because they're an atheist who understands science - arguing with me, using all their SUPER-BELIEVABLE LIMITING BELIEFS. I know on Reddit it's hard to tell who is real and who ... isn't real - but these people are seemingly the majority now - and they're fucked. They don't even actually understand what science is. Science isn't chopping off your dick to be a woman. Let's talk about the actual scientist who performed many series of actual scientific experiments to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that people are able to control material reality with only the use of their minds. Why doesn't anyone ever want to talk about THAT science? What it seems is that every thing in this world - every institution, religion, and academic study - has been corrupted to keep us under control. The people that are in control of this world have access to esoteric knowledge that they have hidden from the masses to keep for themselves. This knowledge involves the ability to manipulate reality, which they use for power and keeping the rest of us down and powerless. From what I can tell, the thing they don't want us to know is that we are powerful beings, with capabilities that have been hidden and unused. Every person needs to understand that they are a powerful being that doesn't need any help or anyone to save them. WE have the power to control our own destiny. If the majority would start believing in their power and themselves, we would have a chance at ending this shitty reality manipulation and living as non-dual beings of love - as the true source of creation made us - powerful, independent beings with everything we need, and no need to evolve or learn shitty lessons about suffering. Unfortunately, it seems like most people would prefer to keep their creature comforts, believe that this isn't as bad as I am making it sound, and remain here, in the safety of familiarity... away from the fear of the unknown. And that makes me so fucking sad that it brings tears to my eyes. |
2024.06.02 06:49 Fantumofthefae My mom's a huge hypocrite and idk what to do anymore
Please bear with me it's long, half rant half needing advice, I'm at a loss.. I'll probably end up deleting this if gaining too much traction so no family or friends see it. This isn't everything but that would give away my identity. So we'll stick to just this... I(f19) and my mom(f54) keep our horses at home, I got mine before she got hers. Right after we moved in I fell into a deeeep depression, I barely got out of bed to even feed, barely ate and was over all in bad shape. She just kinda bitched at me that I wasn't up and feeding on time or wasn't spending time with my horses, kept telling me how she'd LOVE to have a horse at home and I do so I should go spend time with them. She also loves to tell me the story about her cousin growing up who had horses but only liked them for riding and wouldn't let my mom even pet them, how she never wants me to grow up like her because she only loved those horses because of showing and riding. Well, she got a horse! Last year. I still get bitched at, less tho because I kept telling her to stop going after me for not being out on time or spending time with them, while my mental is better it's more I'm faking better. And she? I can barely drag her butt out to see the horse, she'll go see other people's horses tho and spend hours doing things that she's not paid for, she's a trainer at a barn. Recently she thought of breeding her - dw she's got loads of experience, but found out due to a genetic disorder should not be bred. And tonight I almost was ran over when the mare came trotting into the barn after me while I followed my horses in. I told my mom in an annoyed tone, she needs manners or pick your favorite cause one of us is gonna get hurt, worried and annoyed about the situation and how she could have slipped on the concrete in the barn with her wet hooves from the storm outside. She just tells me "well she'll get me 10k and can't give me a baby so just sell her" not perfect quote but she was saying to sell her cause she can't ethical breed her. There been horses in the past shes loved, none hers. I never thought she was the one to not love or even try to form a bond with a horse just because she can't breed. This mare wants to be loved. She was abused so is a bit of a challenge but nothing my mom can't do. Especially since she's already made soo much progress. I think the topping on the cake is that I've delt with my mom's depressive episodes, every time something goes wrong in her life she's into a depression episode, granted what goes on for her to become like that is big like a huge change in her life that was unwarranted. I always have to be there. To pick her back up. Keep her from self deleting. She tells me she has no friends, I know there's people who'd listen and be there for her but she doesn't reach out. So it lands on me(not my dad, he doesn't do shit to help her mental health). I try to curve her depressive episodes the moment I see them arise, I've learned how to help her cause I've done it all my life. But even when I tell her I don't know what being happy feels like, that I don't remember the last time I was happy and that I think it's chemical and would like to find help, she discards it the next day.. Like I said nothing. Before we knew about the genetic disorder she said how could I breed her without you here with the other horses, that's unfair of me to ask you to put your life on hold. I told her, I'd wait, I'd stay at least until the mom and baby where settled with another horse or just the two of them. I want her to be happy. I want my mom to be happy, I don't know if she can't afford therapy, doesn't want it or what. But it's tiring and feels so unfair to the mare. I regret telling her to just try, keep her for at least the winter, try and bond.. Now I swear she sees her as a status symbol "I gotta horse" it's her first horse, maybe I should have seen this coming... Every time there's a set back, she says "this isn't the horse I wanted" and backs into a semi depressive state and stops even more being with the mare.
I don't know if there's anything I can do, what the 🦆 do I do. Do I just sit her down and tell her everything risking a depression episode she can't get out of? do I keep quiet and let her do what she feels is right? Or do I try and tell someone else? I also can't afford to risk losing living here rn, I don't have another place to go with my horses.
submitted by Fantumofthefae to Equestrian [link] [comments]
I don't know if there's anything I can do, what the 🦆 do I do. Do I just sit her down and tell her everything risking a depression episode she can't get out of? do I keep quiet and let her do what she feels is right? Or do I try and tell someone else? I also can't afford to risk losing living here rn, I don't have another place to go with my horses.
2024.06.02 06:45 kayla68778 The biggest symptoms are twitching/writhing, shocking in the spine, leg weakness, and mental decline
Height: 5’4”
Weight: 265
Age: 24
Sex assigned at birth: Female
Geographic region(s) your ancestors are from: IPoland (Paternal); Scotland and Bohemia (Maternal)
Medications: Baclofen, Protonix, Celebrex, Hydroxyzine
Simplified Symptoms list: itchiness all over my body, twitching and writhing of whole body, leg weakness, shocking sensation in spine (a constant one that feels like my spine is a live wired and the other being big waves of shocks that come all the sudden and last a few hours), tactile hallucinations, fainting or passing out or falling asleep (don’t know which) that ranges from 1-2 times a day to 40+ times a day, hands suddenly stopping working which causes me to drop things which I don’t notice until it hits the floor, hands unable to feel temperature correctly, slurring of speech (noticed by family not me), feeling like my tongue is heavy and it feels harder to form words, speaking loudly even though I think I’m speaking normally, severe forgetfulness
Health background - history of past illnesses, surgeries, etc.:
Past Illnesses: Endometriosis, Osteitis Pubis, Tendonitis, Chronic Rhinitis, bilateral Cochlear Implants (completely deaf without them)
Surgeries: Tonsils, Adenoids, Deviated Septum surgery, gallbladder removal surgery, endometriosis removal surgery (Has come back; another surgery in August), eye surgery, and both of my cochlear implant surgeries
Background of Symptoms - Tell the story and background of your symptoms. Things to include: When the symptoms began, what was happening around the time the symptoms started (eg. if you started or stopped any medication, injuries, trips, etc), what makes symptoms better or worse, things doctors have already ruled out, any changes from the initial presentation of the symptoms, etc:
The itchines started in December of 2020. Hydroxyzine mostly gets rid of it. The leg weakness started in March 2021. The hands not working symptom and not being able to feel temperature accurately started in April 2021. My twitching and writhing began exactly on May 1st, 2021. I was fine and then all of a sudden it started happening and I went to the ER. Nothing happened before that. I didn’t go on any new medicines or start eating any new foods. Before the last two weeks, the Baclofen got rid of it completely and I took it every 12 hours. Around May 21st, 2024 I all of a sudden started twitching and writhing 6 hours after the previous dose. I went to the ER and they gave me a big dose of Ativan and then the doctor said I could start taking Baclofen every 8 hours. I am always twitching a little bit, but it doesn’t start to get bad until 6 hours after the last dose so as soon as it’s been 8 hours I take it right away. If I’m sleeping I won’t have it. The shock started on May 22, 2021. The tactile hallucinations started on May 27th, 2021. The remaining mental decline symptoms just started 2-3 weeks ago. The only symptoms that I have are medicine that helps the twitching writhing and itchiness. Nothing makes these symptoms better or worse except that the fainting seems to get worse when I am in more pain or my symptoms get worse. Over the past 2-3 weeks since the twitching and writhing got worse and I got the new symptoms my fainting/sleeping got worse too. I didn’t start any new medications before the symptoms. The medicines I was on I had been on for 5+ years. The others I took after all of these symptoms. The symptoms have progressively gotten worse over the past 3 years until 2-to 3 weeks ago when it just really got worse quickly all of a sudden. I didn’t have any falls, accidents or anything traumatic happen.
Family history - List of family members and their illnesses (be sure to include if they are maternal or paternal relatives):
Mother: Primary sclerosing cholangitis, liver transplant
Father: High blood pressure
Aunt (Mom’s sister): Celiac disease, Rheumatoid Arthritis
Sister: POTS, EDS
Tests and Work Done -
I have metal on both sides of my head because of cochlear implants so I can’t do an MRI. When I had a CT scan the metal in my head created a huge white area on both sides so the CT scan was found inconclusive but negative for the parts they could see. However, most of the CT scan is white so you can’t see anything. I was taken off of all of my medicines for a month to test for serotonin syndrome, but nothing happened so I don’t have that. I had a spinal CT with contrast on April 22nd, 2022. That came back negative. I’ve had an EEG and EMG. Those came back negative. They noticed some activity on the EEG, but they didn’t know what. I had an MSLT sleep study and that came back negative for narcolepsy (I didn’t pass out/fall asleep at all though. I believe because I was uncomfortable and was on alert). I have had lab work done. Those are all of the tests I’ve had done.
submitted by kayla68778 to CrowdDiagnosis [link] [comments]
Weight: 265
Age: 24
Sex assigned at birth: Female
Geographic region(s) your ancestors are from: IPoland (Paternal); Scotland and Bohemia (Maternal)
Medications: Baclofen, Protonix, Celebrex, Hydroxyzine
Simplified Symptoms list: itchiness all over my body, twitching and writhing of whole body, leg weakness, shocking sensation in spine (a constant one that feels like my spine is a live wired and the other being big waves of shocks that come all the sudden and last a few hours), tactile hallucinations, fainting or passing out or falling asleep (don’t know which) that ranges from 1-2 times a day to 40+ times a day, hands suddenly stopping working which causes me to drop things which I don’t notice until it hits the floor, hands unable to feel temperature correctly, slurring of speech (noticed by family not me), feeling like my tongue is heavy and it feels harder to form words, speaking loudly even though I think I’m speaking normally, severe forgetfulness
Health background - history of past illnesses, surgeries, etc.:
Past Illnesses: Endometriosis, Osteitis Pubis, Tendonitis, Chronic Rhinitis, bilateral Cochlear Implants (completely deaf without them)
Surgeries: Tonsils, Adenoids, Deviated Septum surgery, gallbladder removal surgery, endometriosis removal surgery (Has come back; another surgery in August), eye surgery, and both of my cochlear implant surgeries
Background of Symptoms - Tell the story and background of your symptoms. Things to include: When the symptoms began, what was happening around the time the symptoms started (eg. if you started or stopped any medication, injuries, trips, etc), what makes symptoms better or worse, things doctors have already ruled out, any changes from the initial presentation of the symptoms, etc:
The itchines started in December of 2020. Hydroxyzine mostly gets rid of it. The leg weakness started in March 2021. The hands not working symptom and not being able to feel temperature accurately started in April 2021. My twitching and writhing began exactly on May 1st, 2021. I was fine and then all of a sudden it started happening and I went to the ER. Nothing happened before that. I didn’t go on any new medicines or start eating any new foods. Before the last two weeks, the Baclofen got rid of it completely and I took it every 12 hours. Around May 21st, 2024 I all of a sudden started twitching and writhing 6 hours after the previous dose. I went to the ER and they gave me a big dose of Ativan and then the doctor said I could start taking Baclofen every 8 hours. I am always twitching a little bit, but it doesn’t start to get bad until 6 hours after the last dose so as soon as it’s been 8 hours I take it right away. If I’m sleeping I won’t have it. The shock started on May 22, 2021. The tactile hallucinations started on May 27th, 2021. The remaining mental decline symptoms just started 2-3 weeks ago. The only symptoms that I have are medicine that helps the twitching writhing and itchiness. Nothing makes these symptoms better or worse except that the fainting seems to get worse when I am in more pain or my symptoms get worse. Over the past 2-3 weeks since the twitching and writhing got worse and I got the new symptoms my fainting/sleeping got worse too. I didn’t start any new medications before the symptoms. The medicines I was on I had been on for 5+ years. The others I took after all of these symptoms. The symptoms have progressively gotten worse over the past 3 years until 2-to 3 weeks ago when it just really got worse quickly all of a sudden. I didn’t have any falls, accidents or anything traumatic happen.
Family history - List of family members and their illnesses (be sure to include if they are maternal or paternal relatives):
Mother: Primary sclerosing cholangitis, liver transplant
Father: High blood pressure
Aunt (Mom’s sister): Celiac disease, Rheumatoid Arthritis
Sister: POTS, EDS
Tests and Work Done -
I have metal on both sides of my head because of cochlear implants so I can’t do an MRI. When I had a CT scan the metal in my head created a huge white area on both sides so the CT scan was found inconclusive but negative for the parts they could see. However, most of the CT scan is white so you can’t see anything. I was taken off of all of my medicines for a month to test for serotonin syndrome, but nothing happened so I don’t have that. I had a spinal CT with contrast on April 22nd, 2022. That came back negative. I’ve had an EEG and EMG. Those came back negative. They noticed some activity on the EEG, but they didn’t know what. I had an MSLT sleep study and that came back negative for narcolepsy (I didn’t pass out/fall asleep at all though. I believe because I was uncomfortable and was on alert). I have had lab work done. Those are all of the tests I’ve had done.
2024.06.02 06:44 SadSackingToday HRT, weight gain, general dammit it all to hell rant
Hello wise women,
I've been reading some of the posts about the variety of experiences with weight gain and HRT. My story is that I lost my period at age 43, when I happened to be running 250 miles per month. I wasn't overly lean IMO (I wasn't even down to my "normal" pre-child weight!). I was eating carnivore. Yes, all this was in response to a subtle shift in my body comp that I felt like a low pressure system deep in my being. The doctor and even my ND assumed I was in menopause after a year with no cycle. I worked with an amenorrhea coach and my ND. I started taken HRT due to my inability to get my periods back and my young age to protect my bones/ CV system. I had an insane reaction to the patches (wild deep red streaking all over my thighs and abdomen, not raised or bumpy or itchy). I switched to compound estradiol cream and 100mg of progesterone. My reaction to that? I got high. Laughing unable to walk upstairs to bed--it was awesome. But only lasted a few nights. I've since acclimated to the patch and have a higher dose since I keep testing low.
I have struggled with compliance. I would take the HRT and yes they helped w sleep and the bottomless depression; the mood help is pretty profound. My sex life is pretty great on HRT and pretty meh without. But on HRT the depression got worse in some ways bc of the rapid weight gain. In response, I would stop HRT, drop a few pounds and then inevitably the no-sleep demon and the other kind of marrow-deep depression would take me down. I would restart HRT. Each cycle was about 6 months. Then at the age of 47, I got my period back (last summer). For real. So I got to stop the hormones and wow I recognized myself in the mirror again very quickly (days!). I even went back to playing soccer - a lot. Maybe you can guess what happened a few months later...ACL rupture. Holy shit show. I did well w the surgery, excellent w the rehab and still, the depression/ the stress all of it, made my periods go away again.
I held out as long as I could but the no-sleep demon came for me and I had to go back on hormones. The weight gain is well, double-take level. As in, if I run into an old friend there is a visible swallow and eyes widening. I'm a former collegiate athlete, a surfer, I have a goddamn degree in exercise science and I have the discipline of an Olympian. I have a bike desk. I work out with impeccable form daily with proper periodization, planned rests, and have toned down the running (obs, see injury above). I can stick to any diet. I never overeat. I get my protein in daily. I hit my water goals. I take magnesium. All the things-done. I have never undereaten until this phase of my life. And this is crazy making. It feels like my body is gaslighting me. Oh you ate 1000kcals yesterday? Here's 3 extra pounds for your effort.
Like many of you, I had a traumatic childhood w a host of abuses. Trying and successfully figuring out cause and effect has saved my life on numerous occasions. It's important to me to understand why the laws of thermodynamics no longer apply. It's also bringing up some fear, uncertainty, & loss of control issues.
My pull-up game is weak (umm 1? If I cheat), my push-up game has suffered. My abs are still strong as hell but I can only see the top 4--the bottom part--WTAF is happening. I've put the work in, perhaps you may say too much work. If so, you a) may be right & b) maybe it will make someone out there feel better that someone with my track record/ experience is struggling mightily.
It's very important to me to feel in control of my body and I've tried to do so in a physically healthy way. For the mental part, I've done so much therapy. I've done every treatment under the sun short of electric shock therapy (thought about it) for mind and body. But the kind of stuff I went thru isn't the type of thing that really ever lets you feel safe again. This--my body, my health, my earning of my health has been my safety. Feeling fast and strong and fit has been my blankie. I want it back.
I'm currently 48, had a period last month, which I would love to think means I can stop HRT but since I re-injured my meniscus (PT had me jumping way too soon post-op sadly), I'm worried that my cycle has hidden again. I'm incredibly sensitive to stress and I always have been. Most of my life I've felt that I'm not quite cut out for it all due to my over sensitivity & insane hyper vigilance.
Has anyone else had such a clear weight up on HRT/ weight down off HRT experience? If so, did you say screw it, and just deal with low mood, no interest in sex, yet steamy, damp nights nonetheless...forever? Or did you go the other route and say eff it, I'm gonna see just how high my body fat can actually get to?
I'm tired of waffling between two of the shittiest choices on the market.
submitted by SadSackingToday to Menopause [link] [comments]
I've been reading some of the posts about the variety of experiences with weight gain and HRT. My story is that I lost my period at age 43, when I happened to be running 250 miles per month. I wasn't overly lean IMO (I wasn't even down to my "normal" pre-child weight!). I was eating carnivore. Yes, all this was in response to a subtle shift in my body comp that I felt like a low pressure system deep in my being. The doctor and even my ND assumed I was in menopause after a year with no cycle. I worked with an amenorrhea coach and my ND. I started taken HRT due to my inability to get my periods back and my young age to protect my bones/ CV system. I had an insane reaction to the patches (wild deep red streaking all over my thighs and abdomen, not raised or bumpy or itchy). I switched to compound estradiol cream and 100mg of progesterone. My reaction to that? I got high. Laughing unable to walk upstairs to bed--it was awesome. But only lasted a few nights. I've since acclimated to the patch and have a higher dose since I keep testing low.
I have struggled with compliance. I would take the HRT and yes they helped w sleep and the bottomless depression; the mood help is pretty profound. My sex life is pretty great on HRT and pretty meh without. But on HRT the depression got worse in some ways bc of the rapid weight gain. In response, I would stop HRT, drop a few pounds and then inevitably the no-sleep demon and the other kind of marrow-deep depression would take me down. I would restart HRT. Each cycle was about 6 months. Then at the age of 47, I got my period back (last summer). For real. So I got to stop the hormones and wow I recognized myself in the mirror again very quickly (days!). I even went back to playing soccer - a lot. Maybe you can guess what happened a few months later...ACL rupture. Holy shit show. I did well w the surgery, excellent w the rehab and still, the depression/ the stress all of it, made my periods go away again.
I held out as long as I could but the no-sleep demon came for me and I had to go back on hormones. The weight gain is well, double-take level. As in, if I run into an old friend there is a visible swallow and eyes widening. I'm a former collegiate athlete, a surfer, I have a goddamn degree in exercise science and I have the discipline of an Olympian. I have a bike desk. I work out with impeccable form daily with proper periodization, planned rests, and have toned down the running (obs, see injury above). I can stick to any diet. I never overeat. I get my protein in daily. I hit my water goals. I take magnesium. All the things-done. I have never undereaten until this phase of my life. And this is crazy making. It feels like my body is gaslighting me. Oh you ate 1000kcals yesterday? Here's 3 extra pounds for your effort.
Like many of you, I had a traumatic childhood w a host of abuses. Trying and successfully figuring out cause and effect has saved my life on numerous occasions. It's important to me to understand why the laws of thermodynamics no longer apply. It's also bringing up some fear, uncertainty, & loss of control issues.
My pull-up game is weak (umm 1? If I cheat), my push-up game has suffered. My abs are still strong as hell but I can only see the top 4--the bottom part--WTAF is happening. I've put the work in, perhaps you may say too much work. If so, you a) may be right & b) maybe it will make someone out there feel better that someone with my track record/ experience is struggling mightily.
It's very important to me to feel in control of my body and I've tried to do so in a physically healthy way. For the mental part, I've done so much therapy. I've done every treatment under the sun short of electric shock therapy (thought about it) for mind and body. But the kind of stuff I went thru isn't the type of thing that really ever lets you feel safe again. This--my body, my health, my earning of my health has been my safety. Feeling fast and strong and fit has been my blankie. I want it back.
I'm currently 48, had a period last month, which I would love to think means I can stop HRT but since I re-injured my meniscus (PT had me jumping way too soon post-op sadly), I'm worried that my cycle has hidden again. I'm incredibly sensitive to stress and I always have been. Most of my life I've felt that I'm not quite cut out for it all due to my over sensitivity & insane hyper vigilance.
Has anyone else had such a clear weight up on HRT/ weight down off HRT experience? If so, did you say screw it, and just deal with low mood, no interest in sex, yet steamy, damp nights nonetheless...forever? Or did you go the other route and say eff it, I'm gonna see just how high my body fat can actually get to?
I'm tired of waffling between two of the shittiest choices on the market.
2024.06.02 06:40 Adventurous_Coyote61 DoD- Scanned After Visit Summary into Medical Record?
I had a look at my VA records and saw "Scanned the after visit summary for clinic visit, into medical record. This document was viewed in Joint Legacy Viewer by provider to ensure accuracy of document. The joint legacy viewer is a clinical application that provides an integrated, read only display of health data from the DOD.
I've been seeing the VA and many doctors, however never seen this before. Any ideas and more detail on why this doctor went in there and what they were trying to do?
submitted by Adventurous_Coyote61 to VeteransBenefits [link] [comments]
I've been seeing the VA and many doctors, however never seen this before. Any ideas and more detail on why this doctor went in there and what they were trying to do?
2024.06.02 06:39 Mission-Stuff-9898 Boyfriend is not considerate when it comes to illness and it’s starting to drive me crazy
I (early 20s F) have a chronic health condition which means I am immunocompromised, when I get sick it’s often more severe and lasts twice as long as other people. It also aggravates my health condition more so it’s a pretty bad feedback loop.
My partner (early 20s M) is aware of this and does try to do stuff like get covid vaccine boosters and such but can’t help but get sick constantly and “not notice” before passing it onto me. So far this year he had two pretty prominent warts on one of his fingers that I had to point out and ask him to deal with (I had persistent warts years ago and broke records at the clinic which treated them for the treatment duration, it took years of effort and painful intense treatments, being constantly vigilant to get rid of them). He told me he’d sort of noticed them but didn’t want to tell me because I’d “freak out”. Needless to say, his went away in a month or so with over the counter treatments and I’ve of course caught them, they’ve spread to almost half of my fingers and I’m back to sustaining really invasive treatment as they seem to only spread and grow over 4 months or so.
He also has chronic allergies which he doesn’t really take his prescribed medication for. This sort of bothers me because he sniffles every day and spreads snot with stuff like snotty tissues that he leaves everywhere. This is kind of gross already but means that when he has a cold he “can’t distinguish between it and the allergies” even though the first sign of a cold is usually a sore throat which I would imagine is sort of easy to notice as standing out from other hayfever symptoms? Usually he’ll complain of a sore throat offhand and I will have to explain to him that he’s sick and needs to take this more seriously and be more on top of his symptoms so I know to avoid him for a few days and avoid getting sick myself. Because when I inevitably always do, already 2-3 times this year, I’m impacted for closer to 3-4 weeks.
The most recent incident has been him coming down with gastro which he initially put down to food poisoning (as he isn’t great with food safety either). I get that it can be hard to distinguish, and that he doesn’t want to make me sick. But yesterday he told me that he he was better and wanted to hang out so we spent the day together. Only for him to be visibly sick the whole time, offended when I didn’t want to eat something his cutlery had touched, and for me to be invited to his home without the knowledge that his parents had caught his “food poisoning” and were both throwing up, and had still invited a guest over to dinner?? I only found out when I got there and immediately left. If I come down with something like gastro and can’t keep food/fluids down I will need to go to the emergency room immediately as it is dangerous for me.
I asked him today if he washed his hands properly and he said yes but when not sick he doesn’t even always use soap. I’m starting to get really tired of his bad hygiene/self-care practices which keep becoming my problem and I’m not warned about before it’s too late (and often I have to pick up on it myself and tell him to deal with it and be more careful next time).
Even if he does genuinely makes a mistake each time, I’m starting to feel like he doesn’t care enough. And I know that my condition sounds bad and that I should be more vigilant/expect to be sick sometimes which of course I understand. But why can’t he be bothered to notice something is up/why does he avoid telling me every time! I’m starting to really resent him for this
submitted by Mission-Stuff-9898 to offmychest [link] [comments]
My partner (early 20s M) is aware of this and does try to do stuff like get covid vaccine boosters and such but can’t help but get sick constantly and “not notice” before passing it onto me. So far this year he had two pretty prominent warts on one of his fingers that I had to point out and ask him to deal with (I had persistent warts years ago and broke records at the clinic which treated them for the treatment duration, it took years of effort and painful intense treatments, being constantly vigilant to get rid of them). He told me he’d sort of noticed them but didn’t want to tell me because I’d “freak out”. Needless to say, his went away in a month or so with over the counter treatments and I’ve of course caught them, they’ve spread to almost half of my fingers and I’m back to sustaining really invasive treatment as they seem to only spread and grow over 4 months or so.
He also has chronic allergies which he doesn’t really take his prescribed medication for. This sort of bothers me because he sniffles every day and spreads snot with stuff like snotty tissues that he leaves everywhere. This is kind of gross already but means that when he has a cold he “can’t distinguish between it and the allergies” even though the first sign of a cold is usually a sore throat which I would imagine is sort of easy to notice as standing out from other hayfever symptoms? Usually he’ll complain of a sore throat offhand and I will have to explain to him that he’s sick and needs to take this more seriously and be more on top of his symptoms so I know to avoid him for a few days and avoid getting sick myself. Because when I inevitably always do, already 2-3 times this year, I’m impacted for closer to 3-4 weeks.
The most recent incident has been him coming down with gastro which he initially put down to food poisoning (as he isn’t great with food safety either). I get that it can be hard to distinguish, and that he doesn’t want to make me sick. But yesterday he told me that he he was better and wanted to hang out so we spent the day together. Only for him to be visibly sick the whole time, offended when I didn’t want to eat something his cutlery had touched, and for me to be invited to his home without the knowledge that his parents had caught his “food poisoning” and were both throwing up, and had still invited a guest over to dinner?? I only found out when I got there and immediately left. If I come down with something like gastro and can’t keep food/fluids down I will need to go to the emergency room immediately as it is dangerous for me.
I asked him today if he washed his hands properly and he said yes but when not sick he doesn’t even always use soap. I’m starting to get really tired of his bad hygiene/self-care practices which keep becoming my problem and I’m not warned about before it’s too late (and often I have to pick up on it myself and tell him to deal with it and be more careful next time).
Even if he does genuinely makes a mistake each time, I’m starting to feel like he doesn’t care enough. And I know that my condition sounds bad and that I should be more vigilant/expect to be sick sometimes which of course I understand. But why can’t he be bothered to notice something is up/why does he avoid telling me every time! I’m starting to really resent him for this
2024.06.02 06:37 Sure-Needleworker790 Seeking comfort/clarity
I had a 2 year old pitbull. Unknown history due to being a stray but at estimated 12 weeks old began having seizures. Through the course of his life most of his care was through a primary vet we knew and trusted though we had 4 emergency visits for clustering seizures (always at night and on a weekend it seems) even prior to his first seizure/medications he was excessively drinking water. We had found ways to distract him and space out water to prevent hyponatremia. Through growth and several medication changes at 100 pounds he was taking phenobarbital 64.8 grains twice daily and keppra extended-release 1500mg twice daily. During routine visit and labs in April we discovered that his liver enzymes were slightly elevated and T4 low but TSH normal. We had plans to recheck in June. His seizures were usually 4+ months apart but always clustering and required emergency medication intervention (midazolam) usually and sometimes a keppra loading dose.
on Tuesday during severe weather with power outage in the early morning he began having seizures. We tried to get him to the emergency vet but morning traffic rush, power outages and phone lines down made me stop at our primary vet office to see if they could help first. After 2 doses of midazolam, the seizures continued. The vet that was there was not one we knew. She ultimately advised that it might be time to euthanize him. She said we could take him to ER but after reviewing his records thought this issue would continue and worsen in severity causing suffering for him. Her approach to be quite frank was rude from start to finish which is an experience I have NEVER felt with any of our many vet encounters. We have been devastated for days. He was absolutely the best dog and my soul dog.
Of course, being home and incredibly heart broken I made the mistake of googling and finding articles that say dogs with idiopathic epilepsy have normal life expectancies. Now I’m regretting letting him go. That combined with the vet pressuring for euthanasia PLUS the torment of a small break from the seizures just to see him seem to come around and it come back again. All of it feels so traumatic. I’m hoping there’s some professionals out there that can help me find comfort in believing this was the right decision for him even thought it leaves us broken. Thank you.
submitted by Sure-Needleworker790 to AskVet [link] [comments]
on Tuesday during severe weather with power outage in the early morning he began having seizures. We tried to get him to the emergency vet but morning traffic rush, power outages and phone lines down made me stop at our primary vet office to see if they could help first. After 2 doses of midazolam, the seizures continued. The vet that was there was not one we knew. She ultimately advised that it might be time to euthanize him. She said we could take him to ER but after reviewing his records thought this issue would continue and worsen in severity causing suffering for him. Her approach to be quite frank was rude from start to finish which is an experience I have NEVER felt with any of our many vet encounters. We have been devastated for days. He was absolutely the best dog and my soul dog.
Of course, being home and incredibly heart broken I made the mistake of googling and finding articles that say dogs with idiopathic epilepsy have normal life expectancies. Now I’m regretting letting him go. That combined with the vet pressuring for euthanasia PLUS the torment of a small break from the seizures just to see him seem to come around and it come back again. All of it feels so traumatic. I’m hoping there’s some professionals out there that can help me find comfort in believing this was the right decision for him even thought it leaves us broken. Thank you.