What games are unblocked at school
FreeGamesOnSteam
2014.01.29 20:20 Anonymous_99 FreeGamesOnSteam
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2013.08.01 20:37 LSAT_Blog Law School Admissions
The Reddit Law School Admissions Forum. The best place on Reddit for admissions advice. Check out the sidebar for intro guides. Post any questions you have, there are lots of redditors with admissions knowledge waiting to help.
2008.03.13 21:31 Reddit Chemistry - Read the sidebar
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2024.06.02 09:12 Femboy_Yugioh 26[M4M] Texas- Looking for my nerdy soul mate
Well hi! Nice to meet youš¤. Names Kira. Hereās is some info about me . I know this post may not be everyoneās cup of tea however I think itās important to let others know some great facts about me
_^ Located:
Texas . Willing to move to another state or have my future partner live with me .
Appearance :
A thick black femboy who loves dressing up sometimes . Height : 5ā3. Age: 26 Personality : Iām super ambivert . I love to go to anime cons, anime movies , TCG stores for tournaments , ect . Iām a super silly goofball who loves to make people smile .
šMy hobbies:
- Anime : Some of my favorites animes are Tokyo ghoul , Sword Art Online , Yuri on ice , Future Diary, JJK, MHA, Yaoi(Love stage , Sasaki and Miyano)
- Manga : Iāve completed so many mangas from yaoi , Ouran high school host club , berserk , ect .
- Cosplay : Iāve done PokĆ©mon & a Tokyo Ghoul cosplay before .
- Anime cons: Iāve been to at least 11 anime/Comic cons.
- Dueling (Yu-Gi-Oh!)
- PokƩmon
- Yaoi
- Pc gaming
- Overwatch. I love this game have over 500 hrs .
- Marvel/DC
- Tv drama : The Vampire Diaries , Supernatural, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, The 100.
- Horror- big fan of tv shows , movies like AHS
- Consoles I have are : Ps5, Nintendo switch , psp, ps vita, Nintendo 3ds , wii, gameboy , ect .
- SO Much More *
š©·What im looking for in a Relationshipš©·
- [ ] Monogamous
- [ ] Single
- [ ] Loyalty
- [ ] Communication (This is my #1, no ā lolā or āyeahā
- [ ] No kids
- [ ] Open-minded
- [ ] Common interest : Nerdy (Anime, Games, Star Wars or anything nerdy)
- [ ] Sure on what you want (basically just knowing you want a relationship)
- [ ] Mature (as in personality )
- [ ] 21+ in age (this is a strict one)
ā¶ļøMY TYPE:
TALL (taller than my own height) , very communicative, masculine(mostly beards and body hair) gamers/anime nerds.
Someone whoās ready for a long term relationship Someone who may want to live together in the future
Someone who loves anime or video games especially OW2. *These are just preferences not a deal breaker. *
ā
Ps: for compatibility reasons Iām a 100% bottom.
Do not ask me NSFW question it will be an immediate block If you made it this far, please message me an introduction about yourself. This is extremely important as it tells me alot about you and for me to give you a well detailed response. Mostly a name to call you , hobbies, location (state wise) and what youāre looking for . You may send pics in the first message if you may like š
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2024.06.02 09:07 Progressive-Change How do I make a choice? I want to move to California, Oregon or Washington but I don't know how to narrow it down.
I don't know what to ask or what to search up to understand the differences. I know they are all about the same when it comes to politics but what else? Will I expect the same experiences living in each state or will it be noticable? I live in NC for reference and I hate it here. Too many drug overdoes and shootouts and sad and angry people. The PAVE act which was recently passed I hate with a burning passion as well. It reminds me of when I had an iphone and their saftey nonsense. It's like some big brother dystopian crap. VPN's are useful but it makes me feel like I live in China or something with censorship and that's not the free country of America that I know.
You could say that I fully express my 1st amendment right but people here who think backwards see it differently. Meanwhile, the south steadily tops the list as #1 for teenage pregancies and LGBTQ discrimination and they activley try to push that type of education out of schools and I hate that boomer ass thinking. I'm not about being around people that are not open-minded and accepting and willing to change. A majority of red states just straight up deny everything and never say that there are any problems at all with anything and they play the blame game on those "libtard states" (eg California), especially Louisiana and Alabama and other deep deep southern states with their high murder rates and poverty and their wealth inequality and such. Monkey see no evil, monkey hear no evil, monkey speak no evil type stuff.
True, it's cheap to live there in those states but you really are cutting yourself short on just about everything else just to save yourself a few dollars. Now I don't mind living in a cheap area in one of those 3 states that I mentioned and it would do me wonders if I could find that place. I'm just worried about my commute to work and if it's going to be too far of a drive. I can at max drive maybe an hour or 2? Any more than that and I will just be wasting my sleeping time because I'm on the road trying to get home and back and fourth.
Right now I make $24 an hour at my job and it's full time Monday through Friday and where I live has a cost of living score of 70 (30% below national average of 100) which is meh but it's affordable. I'd like to be somewhere that has a cost of living of somewhere in the 70's and even the 80's if need be but nowhere over 100 like Los Angeles which has a cost of living score of 161 (61 times more expensive than the national average of 100 to live there).
I don't mind living in small cities or smaller towns even. I'm not looking for a fancy getaway place. I won't even mind living in a ghost town. I just want to make sure that where I live isn't too far away from a job which supports me, that's all. I work in construction and I cut grass and do manual labor and I work on cars and I weld and do stuff like that so maybe I can find work anywhere, who knows.
I want to see what Leavenworth, Washington is all about and Paulsbo but those are not really livable towns as they are more tourist attractions so it won't feel like an authentic small town experience. I do like culture though which is why I mentioned those places. I like to explore old ghost towns and metal detect which is why I mentioned ghost towns too. The mountains I really enjoy also with the snow on top but I don't mind being around joshua, juniper or redwood trees. I'm just a little iffy about living on a flat ground desert where it stays 100%+ degrees all day and you're sweating to death. I do like riding my bicycle though and walking so anywhere I can take a hike or walk through town even would be nice. I don't mind the beach either but that's like LA and I don't have LA money.
Any advice or suggestions? Thanks
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2024.06.02 08:58 ymaeThe1st Advice/Guidance Needed
Greetings to everyone, thank you for coming here. Let me introduce myself a bit. I am a 23m introvert. I graduated last year and have been unemployed since. I tried applying for masters but couldn't secure a good rank in the exams required for PG Courses. I then tried applying for Jobs(thousands of job application per month) in my field but I have never even been selected for interviews. The problem part is here. Ever since College ended I seemed to have lost my passion, drive for every and anything. I have become dull, I fail to carry out my commitments which is hampering both my personal and professional relationships. I don't seem to care about anything. I always try to indulge myself in escapism activities like watching movies, anime, computer games which I am not particularly fond of. I am not interested in anything. Everything seems like a waste of time and money. I had few goals but because of my lack of consistency and discipline I am failing to achieve them. I am particularly not good at anything especially socializing. On top of all this I am depressed by my constant act of failure. I am afraid to try new things because I might fail at it. I have started to hate myself a lot. I am lost. I am thinking about ending my Life in the next 3 months. But I don't want leave my sister and parents alone. They(parents) are retired and have no income other than a small pension. My sister is a school student and has a lot of potential. What should I do to change myself? What should I do to make myself a better person?
I know my problems may seem, if not, are insignificant compared to other people's ball clenching problems that I have read on this reddit group. So people out there who are living their life even with your problems, I admire you and you guys give me hope. I want to turn this around.
Excuse me for my grammatical mistakes and Thank you for reading. I humbly ask for your guidance, also people with similar problems please do share your life journey and how you got over it, it will mean a lot to me.
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2024.06.02 08:49 ConsequenceSure3063 Best Adidas Gym Bags
| https://preview.redd.it/lk8lbct1v34d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e6376c7ef882ce57deea5d4b8cdba774c8a5d772 Looking for the perfect bag to carry your gym essentials? Our roundup of Adidas gym bags has got you covered! From stylish duffels to practical backpacks, we've got a diverse selection to fit both your workout wardrobe and your daily routine. Whether you're a fitness enthusiast or a beginner, there's an Adidas gym bag that suits your needs. Stay organized, stay stylish, and most importantly - stay ready for your next workout with our Adidas gym bag collection! The Top 9 Best Adidas Gym Bags - Adidas Prime 6 Extra-Large Gym Backpack for Laptop and Work - The Adidas Prime 6 Backpack, Grey is a gym bag designed for convenience and durability, with its extra-large capacity, multiple zip pockets, padded laptop sleeve, and eco-conscious materials for reducing plastic waste.
- Adidas Prime 6 Large Backpack for Gym or School - The Adidas Prime 6 Backpack offers ample storage, a padded laptop sleeve, comfortable LoadSpring shoulder straps, and durability for all your carry needs.
- Adidas Graphic Oversized Duffel Bag for Sports and Travel - The Adidas Graphic Duffel Bag in black/white is a versatile, well-made gym bag with spacious capacity, stylish graphic design, and adaptable carry options to suit your needs. Perfect for both busy weekdays and weekend trips.
- Adidas Team Issue II Duffel Bag - Durable Gym Bag for Professionals - Experience the luxury and convenience of professional-grade storage with the Adidas Team Issue II Medium Duffel Bag, boasting a large capacity and well-made construction in a chic black design.
- Adidas Prime 6 Extra-Large Backpack - Grey - Experience seamless organization and eco-conscious design with Adidas Prime 6 Backpack, Grey - a high-capacity, well-structured gym bag with ample compartments and padded shoulder straps for optimal comfort and durability.
- Adidas Diablo Small Duffel Bag - Adidas Diablo Duffel Bag - Small: Compact, well-made, and spacious, perfect for gym sessions or short trips; featuring adjustable shoulder strap, U-shaped opening, and customizable screen-printing panels.
- Stylish modern hide a bed chair - convertible sleeper chair with comfortable pillows and pockets - The Adidas Santiago Duffel Bag, in Collegiate Navy/Scarlet/White, offers ample storage with a large main compartment and two zipped pockets, designed with a durable 750D fabric and adjustable shoulder strap for maximum comfort.
- Adidas Diablo Small Gym Duffel Bag - The Adidas Diablo Small Duffel Bag is a highly-rated, well-made, and compact gym bag with zipper closure, padded straps, and 18.5" x 10" x 11" dimensions, offering ample storage and easy cleaning for a comfortable and stylish workout experience.
- Adidas Court Lite Duffel Bag - Experience sport-inspired style with the Adidas Court Lite Duffel Bag, boasting a bold screen printed logo, 1 large main pocket, 2 exterior organizational pockets, and an adjustable strap for easy carrying.
As an Amazonā¢ Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. Reviews https://preview.redd.it/bqcyw3c2v34d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f88991226d548b5df067113d1cf3599518c4749 I've recently started using the Adidas Prime 6 Backpack for my daily commute, and I must say, it's been a game changer. First and foremost, the recycled material used in its construction not only feels sturdy but also gives me peace of mind knowing that I'm doing my part for the environment. The shoulder straps are designed with LoadSpring technology, which truly does help ease the weight of my daily load. One of the standout features of this backpack is the cleaning process. Unlike many other bags, you can easily clean this one with soap and water, ensuring it stays fresh and free from any accumulated grime. The exterior has five zip pockets and an internal zip storage pocket, making it incredibly convenient for me to stay organized and keep all my essentials within reach. However, no product is perfect. While the capacity is ample and more than meets my needs, I have noticed that the zippers can be a bit finicky at times, requiring some extra effort to open and close. Additionally, the material, although easy to clean, may not be as long-lasting as some other options on the market. Despite these minor cons, the Adidas Prime 6 Backpack has quickly become my go-to choice for daily use. Its combination of stylish design, ample storage, and environmentally conscious construction make it a true standout in the world of gym bags. https://preview.redd.it/6aqyrup2v34d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b4601edb06ccef3d14899c60c4baecc2976e8597 Imagine carrying a backpack that's not just spacious, but extremely comfortable, with the added bonus of being incredibly durable. As a student or traveler, this Adidas Prime 6 Backpack is a dream come true! From the moment I got my hands on it, I was impressed by its size. It's extra-large, perfect for those days when you need to carry a lot of stuff around. However, it's not only about capacity. The features that make this bag stand out include LoadSpring shoulder straps. They're designed to help distribute the weight evenly, making heavy loads feel much lighter. Cleaning is also a breeze with this backpack. The wipe-able lining means that you can easily spot clean it with soap and water, keeping your bag looking fresh and new. There are also multiple zippered pockets, providing ample storage space for all your belongings. Not to forget, a padded compartment that securely stores up to a 15-inch laptop. However, no product is perfect. While the majority of users praised its durability, a few individuals reported issues with seams not being sewn properly. Despite these minor issues, the overwhelming majority of reviews were positive, praising the style, comfort, and convenience of this backpack. In conclusion, the Adidas Prime 6 Backpack is a fantastic option for anyone in need of a large backpack that's both comfortable and reliable. Its capacity, coupled with its padded laptop compartment and multiple zippered pockets, makes it a perfect companion for daily use or extended travel. https://preview.redd.it/qikeu533v34d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=610647d983b8b489bf32b54a51e6622f59603435 Adidas has always been top-notch when it comes to athletic wear and accessories, and this Graphic Duffel Bag is no exception! I'm currently using it for my weekend trips to the gym and it's been a real lifesaver. The size is perfect, not too big and not too small, which means it's easy to carry, even when it's loaded up with all my gym essentials. I was pleasantly surprised with the quality of the duffel. The material is sturdy and thick, so I know it's going to last a long time. Plus, the large graphic screen print on the side gives it a stylish edge. The bag also features a zipper closure and 93% Polyester, 3% Natural Latex Rubber, 2% Spandex, 2% Nylon blend, which gives it a nice structure. One feature I absolutely love is the adjustable shoulder strap. It makes it so convenient to carry the bag, especially when it's packed filled with stuff. You can either carry it over your shoulder or across your body. It's so comfortable and doesn't strain my shoulder at all. A small pocket in the bag adds to the convenience. It's perfect for storing keys or a small wallet. Although there's no specific spot for a water bottle, I usually just toss it in with the rest of my stuff and it works out fine. A few cons worth mentioning are that the bag isn't very light, which can be a bit cumbersome when it's empty. However, it's manageable when you're carrying it on your shoulder. Another minor inconvenience is that there are no straps or hooks for a yoga mat or extra shoes on the outside, you'll have to make do with cramming them inside. Overall, this Adidas Graphic Duffel Bag has been a game-changer for my gym trips. It's durable, spacious, and stylish, all while being convenient to carry. I've recommended this bag to all my workout buddies and they're all loving it too! https://preview.redd.it/eq6hkvl3v34d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=66f27638b832bcedca3db5d4788a102330b0c6dc As someone who's been using the Adidas Team Issue II Medium Duffel Bag Black for quite some time now, let me tell you, it's a game-changer! Whether you're heading to the gym or packing for a weekend getaway, this bag has got your back. First off, the durability is top-notch. Crafted in poly ripstop with reinforced panels at zippers and stress points, this bag is made to last. It also maintains its shape, making it super easy to access your stuff even when it's fully packed. One of my favorite features is the zip end pocket designed specifically for shoes or dirty clothes. It keeps everything separated and organized, which is a big plus in my book. There's also a zip pocket at the outer face perfect for storing small items like keys or your phone. Now, onto the straps. The dual carry handles with padded hook-and-loop panel provide comfort while carrying and the adjustable, removable shoulder strap adds versatility. Plus, did I mention how spacious the interior is? It can easily accommodate 2-3 outfits along with shoes and other essentials. In terms of cons, the only one I could think of is that it might not be big enough for everyone's needs. However, for most people, myself included, it's absolutely perfect. So, if you're in the market for a new gym bag or just need something practical and stylish for travel, the Adidas Team Issue II Medium Duffel Bag Black is definitely worth considering. https://preview.redd.it/s4w0v0v3v34d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a1b35d26692cea91e902bbf48604b36128585f20 As a fitness enthusiast, I've been using the Adidas Prime 6 Backpack in grey for all my workouts and daily commutes. The moment I saw this bag, I was drawn to its sleek design and vibrant colors. Little did I know, it would become a reliable companion during my intense workout sessions and daily office routine. One of the most noticeable features of this backpack is its capacity. It's got plenty of pockets both inside and outside, making it incredibly convenient to store all my essentials - from a fresh towel and spare clothes to my laptop and office files. The padded compartment for my 12-inch laptop gives me peace of mind knowing that my device is well-protected. The LoadSpring shoulder straps are another standout feature. They've made carrying heavy loads much more comfortable, especially when I'm rushing between classes or heading straight to the gym after work. Plus, the easy-to-clean material means I don't have to worry about sweat or dirt ruining its appearance. However, one con I've noticed is that the sides of the backpack don't provide much support, which can cause the contents to shift around during intense physical activity. But overall, the Adidas Prime 6 Backpack has been an excellent addition to my workout gear. Its durability, convenient storage design, and visual appeal make it worth its price tag. https://preview.redd.it/24jd4sg4v34d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0e36123b5ed3ba80c5a43250cef88e6326c662a7 I've been using this Adidas Diablo Duffel Bag for a while now, and it's quickly become my go-to bag for trips to the gym or a weekend getaway. This small bag packs a lot of punch; the main compartment is large and easy to load up with all my workout gear. The adjustable shoulder strap makes it incredibly comfortable to carry around, and the bold screen-printed Adidas brandmark on the front adds a nice touch of style. One feature that I appreciate is the free side panel left for customizing with our team's logo. This bag is also incredibly lightweight and easy to clean, which is a huge plus for someone as messy as me! The only downside I've noticed is that there are no side pockets, but in keeping with its simple design, this duffel efficiently holds all my stuff in one place. All in all, I'm really happy with the Diablo Small. It's the perfect size for a gym bag or a small overnighter, and it looks good doing it. I would definitely recommend this to anyone looking for a versatile and sleek bag for their active lifestyle. https://preview.redd.it/ddv86hx4v34d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=257a014ed1152bd6cc211157979cfae3df06736d I've been using the Adidas Santiago Duffel Bag for a few weeks now and boy, is it a game-changer! The first thing that caught my eye was the retro design - I mean, who wouldn't love a throwback to those classic Adidas styles? The screen-printed branding on all four sides adds just the right touch of sophistication. One of the standout features has to be the spacious main compartment. It's large enough to fit everything you need for a weekend getaway, yet compact enough to carry around easily. Plus, the two endcap pockets with zippers are perfect for keeping smaller items organized and within reach. The adjustable shoulder strap is another highlight. Not only does it make carrying the bag incredibly comfortable, but it also allows me to adjust the length according to my height, making it feel like it was made just for me. On the downside, the 750D fabric, while durable, might not be as water-resistant as some other materials out there. So, you might want to keep an eye on the weather forecast if you're planning on using this bag for outdoor activities. All in all, I'm absolutely thrilled with the Adidas Santiago Duffel Bag! Its combination of style, functionality, and comfort makes it the perfect choice for anyone in search of a reliable gym bag that stands out from the crowd. https://preview.redd.it/3pqilsf5v34d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a908dcdfcd4ab19c4d70441908dee8a9d7b0e040 I've been a loyal user of the Adidas Diablo Small Duffel Bag for quite some time now. As someone who frequently hits the gym, I value convenience and durability in a bag, and this one delivers on both counts. Its compact size doesn't compromise on storage, fitting in all my workout essentials with ease. One of the standout features is its padded straps. They're incredibly comfortable and make carrying the bag a breeze, even when it's loaded up. The zipper closure provides added security, while the attractive color options allow me to choose a bag that aligns with my personal style. However, there are a few downsides. Some users might find the lack of side pockets or additional compartments limiting, especially if they carry a lot of items to the gym. Additionally, the lightweight nature of the bag can make it feel slightly flimsier than one would expect from an Adidas product. In conclusion, the Adidas Diablo Small Duffel Bag is an excellent choice for anyone looking for a compact, durable, and comfortable gym bag. Its capacity may be on the smaller side, but if you're someone who prefers a streamlined approach to packing, this bag will certainly serve you well. https://preview.redd.it/fkx9dny5v34d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=61a6a4cc00328326c930dabe16f6e0febd81056c I've been using the Adidas Court Lite Duffel Bag Black/White for quite some time now and I must say, it's perfect for my daily routine. The bold adidas graphic really stands out, giving it a sport-inspired style that I absolutely love. The size is just right - not too big, not too small, making it perfect for trips to the gym or short overnights. One feature that stood out was the adjustable strap. It made carrying the bag a breeze, even when it was filled to the brim. The main compartment is spacious enough for all my workout essentials, while the exterior pockets provide added convenience to store smaller items like my phone and keys. However, some reviewers mentioned that the size might be smaller than expected. Although I didn't face this issue personally, it's worth considering if you're looking for a bigger bag. Another minor con is that there could be more compartments inside for better organization. All in all, the Adidas Court Lite Duffel Bag Black/White is a stylish, well-made bag that offers ample storage capacity. It's been a reliable companion on all my gym trips and short getaways. If you're considering a similar bag, I'd definitely recommend giving this one a go. Buyer's Guide https://preview.redd.it/68kwm2f6v34d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b84b9d898d2e752fb1bc414f450c7dd46372499b None FAQ https://preview.redd.it/1l26fxy6v34d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=49682b5aa0a46028796c80da26aab21893fa4a40 What types of gym bags does Adidas offer? Adidas offers a wide variety of gym bags, including duffle bags, sports bags, backpacks, and drawstring bags designed for different needs and preferences. Some popular options are the Adidas Defender III Duffle Bag, Adidas Diablo Duffle Bag, and Adidas Tournament 16 Backpack. How durable are Adidas gym bags? https://preview.redd.it/70q66t77v34d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4eba97ed3c5120e3176bc913f9c629382c4a55d7 Adidas gym bags are known for their durability, made with high-quality materials such as polyester, nylon, and PVC. These materials provide excellent resistance to wear and tear, ensuring that your bag will withstand frequent use and maintain its appearance over time. Do Adidas gym bags have separate compartments for shoes and wet clothing? Many Adidas gym bags, like the Adidas Diablo Duffle Bag and Adidas Tournament 16 Backpack, feature separate compartments designed for shoes and wet or dirty clothing. This helps keep the rest of your items clean and organized while you're on the go. https://preview.redd.it/8sot4sg7v34d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=428cf525667d88c6306a1b7a508f38e83d3fe799 Can Adidas gym bags be washed? Yes, most Adidas gym bags can be machine-washed. However, always check the care instructions provided with your bag, as some materials may require hand washing or spot cleaning. Additionally, avoid placing heavy or sharp items in your bag to prevent damage during washing. How do I determine the right size gym bag for me? - Consider the types of items you need to carry, such as clothes, shoes, toiletries, and electronics.
- Check the dimensions and capacity of the bag to ensure it can accommodate your belongings comfortably.
- Consider your personal preferences for style, materials, and features, such as straps, compartments, and zippers.
Are Adidas gym bags waterproof? Some Adidas gym bags offer water-resistant or waterproof materials, providing protection from light rain and moisture. However, not all bags are designed to be fully waterproof, so it's essential to check the specifications of the bag you're interested in to determine its level of water resistance. Do Adidas gym bags come with a warranty? Adidas offers a one-year limited warranty on most of its products, including gym bags. This warranty covers manufacturing defects and workmanship issues but does not cover normal wear and tear or damage caused by misuse or neglect. If you have any issues with your bag within the warranty period, contact Adidas's customer service for assistance. How can I maximize the lifespan of my Adidas gym bag? - Store your bag in a cool, dry place when not in use.
- Avoid overloading your bag, as this can strain the seams and cause damage.
- Clean your bag regularly and spot-clean any spills or stains promptly to prevent long-term damage.
- Avoid exposing your bag to extreme temperatures or direct sunlight, as this can cause the materials to degrade over time.
As an Amazonā¢ Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. submitted by ConsequenceSure3063 to u/ConsequenceSure3063 [link] [comments] |
2024.06.02 08:45 Throwaway-74754 AITAH for not trying harder to save my friendship?
Disclaimer: THIS POST IS VERY LONG!!!
Other disclaimer: This is a post I made on a website a month ago but no one responded unfortunately. So when you read stuff like āa week agoā and see the dates donāt correlate to now, thatās why.
Background information: I had two friends, one a guy and the other a girl. We were all online friends for years, me and the guy were friends since I was in elementary school.
Starting with the guy who from here on Iāll call Blake (not his real name of course) me and Blake were the best of buds, we played the game basically every day, and regardless of our different lives and us only being online friends, I actually liked Blake a lot (as a friend). But Blake had a tendency of bullying me, which didn't bother me too much when I was younger, but as I got older, I did. For example, I told Blake one time that I failed/got held back in first grade, and he would bring that fact up whenever anything intelligence-wise come up or just bring it up out the blue. āN word, you failed the first gradeā or āokā¦flunkyā and other variations. He would say all thatā¦even though first grade was a million years ago (Iām a senior about to graduate high school, and I havenāt gotten held back or struggled with grades since.) (Iāve graduated high school now!). Like I'm about to graduate and he would still make fun of me with that fact, saying stuff like "you would've graduated soon if you didn't fail the first grade" and if I tried to rebuttal saying how I do well in school, he would say "well you did the first grade twice so of course you'd do better. you've done it twice".
He would constantly compare his life to mine, making fun of how Iām a virgin who never done anything with a girl, my social anxiety, me being a loner, how I donāt have as much money as him, how my parents are not as laid-back as his, how I didnāt have as much money as him, make fun of the type of girls I like, my music taste, and more.
He was controlling while we played games. He would always decide what games we played, and he would bitch and moan when I wouldnāt get onto a game he wanted to play with me despite valid reasons like it being too expensive. He would always be on his phone or just be otherwise distracted for long periods of time when we're playing, and then he would expect me to wait for him. He was especially very controlling when we play a game like R6s, he would be in my ear after he died ordering me around and telling me what to do and where to go, expecting me to get kills when Iām completely trash at the game, then he would complain heavily when I would of course die. Note: he was a frequent rage quitter and frequently switched games, which was very annoying
There is way more things he would do but if I typed them all out, I would be typing all damn day, so Iāll stop here.
Next is the girl, who Iāll refer to as Amber.
Amber was not so bad, she was annoying at times, and she would sometimes mimic the things Blake did but overall, she was alright. But she did contribute to the situation Iām in as well as Blake did overall.
For the last year, It got to the point where I would be so fed up with them, mostly with Blake, that I would ghost them, not talk or play with them for a few days to basically recover before interacting with the two again. I would even groan in annoyance when either one of them would call me. I would either ignore their calls or make up a lie of me being busy with other things so i wouldnāt have to play with them.
Now I know what you guys are thinking, "why didn't you tell them how you felt about their treatment of you???", well, I tried, but I would just be met with being called a "pussy" or "soft" and the behavior wouldn't change.
Now: Now letās go back about three weeks ago, April 1st, my 19th birthday, Amber called me up and told me to hop on the game, I was in the ignoring them phase, but I decided to hop on because they wouldnāt be mean to me, right? Wrong, they told me to install rocket league, a game Iāve never played in my entire life and when I was able to join their game and we got into a match, I was obviously performing very very poorly, but that didnāt stop them very berating me and telling me how trash I amā¦even though they been playing longer than me.
Then we got on Roblox, and I was having technical difficulties because I was using the Microsoft store version of Roblox as I didnāt know that there was an actual Roblox client and launcher. when the two found out that I was using the Microsoft store version, they proceeded to berate me and belittle me some more, calling me stupid and dumb and questioning how in the world did I not know about the Roblox launcher and just basically making it feel like I just committed a cardinal sin. Then we play some Roblox, and somehow someway I kept on doing things wrong and games were playing because I kept on getting berated and belittled. Eventually, I got off.
I didnāt talk to them on the second, but I did talk to them and play with them on the third. We ended up playing Roblox again and just like last time I was getting berated and belittled because I would do things that they didnāt like. And after a couple hours, we eventually stopped playing Roblox and it suddenly goes into Blake diss tracking me. He would find random rap instrumentals on YouTube and then he would rap over them dissing me. He then told me to diss him back but I didnāt want to cause I was already in a bad mood, and Iām not good with words so I would make a fool of myself. And despite me saying multiple times that I didnāt want to rap, they both kept saying that I had to rap, eventually I just unplugged my mic and said that my mic was broken, which caused Blake to be like āif you donāt want to rap just say that dude, you donāt have to do all thatā, like, bruh, I said I didnāt want to rap multiple timesā¦
Eventually, I left a discord call and went to sleep because I had school in the morning, and when I woke up in the morning and checked my Discord, I saw that I had a message from Blake and the message said āpussyā. After that, I ignored them again until the 6th. When I took my phone off chill mode (do not disturb which I have specifically to hide text and calls from Blake and Amber) I noticed that Blake unfollowed me on Instagram and that he kicked me out of the discord server (it was of course his server as he liked being in control of everything). I was like "damn", but I just went on about my day, Amber was still following me though.
Now today, the 25th of April, I realized that Amber unfollowed me on Instagram as well, and that they both blocked me on Steam. So, I thought our friendship was over, so decide to unfollow both of them on Instagram, Discord, Steam, and delete both of their contacts from my phone.
I wasn't perfect in the friendship either, but I never berate or belittle either of them, bully and make fun of either of them constantly for their struggles in life or interest, and I never made either of them feel inferior. Never...
Part of me feel relief that I no longer have to deal with them anymore, but another part of me feels sad as they were both my only friends. I don't really know how to feel or if I should try to reach out to them somehow and apologize for ghosting them.
As Iām sure a lot of you can gather, Iām not a very confident person nor Iām I one that does conflict. But I feel like if I tried harder to preserve our friendship, maybe weād still be friends? Like, maybe if I was more adamant and forceful about them stopping with their behavior? I just feel like I should have tried harder to preserve the friendship like reaching out to them both instead of just blocking themā¦
Am I The Asshole? For not trying harder?
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2024.06.02 08:39 AprilDruid What to read, when you've finished the Light Novels.
You've finished all 5 LNs, and want more, well this thread has you covered. This will go over what you can read next.
Official Stuff
Well, you've read the LNs, why not read Turn Around and Face Me, the sequel series, set years after the original? May and Aleah Francois are now teenagers, going to an All-Girls Academy. This series is more lighthearted, and won't have any earth-shattering consequences to it. It's just two dumb teenagers in love with people who aren't interested in them. TAFM is still ongoing, and we should be getting chapter 3 fairly soon.
Same story from the LNs, with
a lot more detail. Aono Shimo's art takes what is already a great light novel series, and brings it to life in greater detail. There is
a lot added on here, helping to make this a wonderful experience. It's currently in the Investigation arc, and runs monthly in Yuri Hime.
These are commissioned works she's done, and their canoncity is essentially TBD. Only a handful are translated here, I'm unsure as to where the rest are.
Look, I'll be real here, there's no legal way to read it in english, nor any illegal ways. If you're Korean, or read Korean, it's
here. Fanfiction
It's the lifeblood of this community, and there are so many talented writers to share. This one will be broken down into a few different categories, to help direct people towards something they might love.
Alternate Universes.
Rae Taylor is a coffee shop barista, who has a crush on a regular customer, named Claire Francois. It's your typical Coffee Shop AU, that was one of the first big fics in the community, and continues to influence AU works. The sequel "
A Quiet Cup of Cheer" is very good, and I highly recommend.
"Claire Francois awakens to find herself in Japan, where Rae once lived out her past life. Itās not hard to find her wife once more, and given a second life surely it will be easy to live that one out with Rae once again and help Rae as she had helped her in Bauer. Itās hardly as if Rae will need convincing, right?
Rei Oohashi has had a crush on the icy Francois-san ever since university classes started, she is just so pretty. One would not have expected those feelings to be returned nor to have Francois-san claim they were wives in a previous life. And does Francois-san have no memories from this life eitherā¦ oh no."
Essentially it's a reverse isekai, with Claire being a fish out of water. And it's full of Persona and Dungeon Meshi references. This has a NSFW companion piece from the lovely brooklynapple, which I will not link here.
- I Fragged the Villainess "American high school student Claire Francois has always risen to the occasion in her every endeavor. Now, however, she's facing perhaps her greatest challenge yet -- a first-person shooter game??? Determined to succeed, she logs in every night only to be thwarted again and again by another player with a rather peculiar gamertag. How will she react when she learns that her mysterious rival is actually another student from her school?"
The same writer also did an ESO Crossover, which I recommend reading! "Rei "Quinn" Oohashi has a decently normal life. A job she excels at, a bothersome sister, a hobby she is undefeatable at. Things start to change when a blonde-haired fashion designer enters her life."
The story isn't very far along, but the writer is definitely having fun with this one.
"Two trans women with very different backgrounds, and personalities. Claire Francois, is the epitome of elegance and grace, her father a wealthy politician. Beneath the facade of elegance however, lies a painful past, that she fears coming to haunt her. The Violin becoming her means of escaping her world, if only for a moment.
Rae Taylor, is a Punk Rock Bassist, who found solace in the raw energy of punk, channeling her anger and frustration into the pounding rhythms of her bass guitar. Running from her past, she attempts to make a fresh start somewhere much different. Despite the lonely pain she feels, she pushes past it, in an attempt to pretend she's someone she's not: Someone confident, and able to hide the pain from everyone around her.
A chance meeting intertwines their paths, forcing them to confront their painful pasts, and embrace their true selves. Through their shared love of music, a bond is formed, that may just help them both find happiness."
Fully admit, this is a shameless self-promotion. The first few chapters are rough, but if you enjoy punk music, or just want to see what it would be like if Rae and Claire, were trans? You'll enjoy this! This also has a NSFW companion piece which I will not link.
- Steam Punk Loop "We enter an era where technology is advancing. Not many of the common folks are capable of magic. Machines are developed to make their lives easier. The discovery of Steam Power has greatly advanced the lives of the Lower Class, at the displeasure of the Aristocrats. Magic, however, is still regarded as a higher power which most Aristocrats still wield and follow traditions. As technology grows, magic starts to fade as a higher power for the Lower Classes and questions arise, why are they bowing to Aristocrats' Magic when Steam is far greater now? Tensions grow, unrest spreads, how will the growing chaos be stopped?
Rae Taylor is the daughter of the General Store owners who sell all kinds of items and are part of the middle class.
Claire Francois is the daughter of one of the most powerful and influential Aristocrats who has control on most of the trades in the metropolis.
How can two hearts from two worlds meet at a time of uncertainty?"
Easily one of the most creative AU series, it's a fun one!
"Rae Taylor works for the Lilium Mafia House-one of their best agents, never failed a mission. She is send to the Francois House to act as a spy and eventually eliminate their sole daughter-Claire Francois. However, little did she expect that this mission would not be as easy as she deemed."
Mafia Gays? Say no more, I'm in.
"Four years after the Black Mesa Incident, a gang of Outlaws including former Bureaucrat Orla Maguire and her Physicist Step-Brother, Gustavo Freeman are decimated following a disastrous heist in Panama, scattering them to the wind, and sending Orla adrift to another world, with a blonde noble girl glaring down at her.
Claire Francois must now teach this upstart commoner, who appears to go by Rae Taylor, the proper ways to act in the Kingdom of Bauer, while attempting to truly decipher who she is, why she does what she does, and why she keeps talking about 'Home' as if it were some far away place. Rae, formerly Orla Maguire, must hold out and come up with a plan in the scheming shadows of Bauer if she wants any chance of seeing her old world and family again, all while continuing to work for Claire, and realizing they have a much deeper connection than she initially thought.
Meanwhile in Panama, Dr. Gustavo Freeman is surprised by the arrival of another Noblewoman, facing evidence of string theory, and the ever encroaching threat of the so-called 'Combine' Empire that is now aware of Earth's existence. Time will tell, the currents are swirling... can Outlaws and Nobles truly find redemption?"
Half-Life meets ILTV, in an unexpected crossover!
Canon Divergent
These fics cover stories set within the main universe, but diverge from canon in some way.
"Claire FranƧois is madly in loveāand that's a problem.
All the things she once valued now stand in her way. The nobility could never accept her loving a commoner. The church could never accept her loving a woman. Her father would be so disappointed in her. None of that matters to her anymore, not as much as creating a future for herself and Rae Taylor. To do that, they'll first have to survive the coming revolution, and to survive, they'll have to change.
But, maybe, even with the entire world is standing against her and her love, if they can change themselves they'll have a chance to change the world. So that's what they'll have to doāwhatever it takes."
It's the top rated Wataoshi fic, and for a reason. It's extremely well written, and there is so much care put into this series.
"In which Rae's Soul isn't simply a copy of the Demon Queen's Soul Data, but merely one half of the whole."
This has spoilers for LN5, so I recommend avoiding it, if you're reading this and have
yet to complete LN5. In addition, the other has written "
Memories of Another World" and "
I'm in Love With my Best Friend"
"An exploration of Rei Oohashi's lives with Claire Francois.
Major LN5 spoilers. āLove never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing.ā -Anias Nin"
"Claire is accidentally hit with a love spell during magic class and suddenly can't keep her hands off of Rae. Rae doesn't know what to do now that Claire is giving her a taste of her own medicine. How will our heroine overcome this daunting challenge?"
Brooklynapple has also written "
a day worth celebrating" a cute Claire birthday piece, and "
what we deserve" "Rae's Duel with Manaria goes wrong
She wakes up back in her old life in Japan
Claire is left alone"
From the author of Eitno, we have a tearjerker, that is excellent.
"A collection of short stories concerning Manaria Sousse from "I'm in Love With the Villainess." I recommend reading this after at least reading Volume 2, or after reading the whole story."
"Rei wakes up in Revolution like in the original but.... She's royalty?"
"After becoming Queen, Manaria tasks have piled up. However, something sinister has happened. Someone from her family has been murdered! She has to recruit her friends to help her solve the mystery."
" As the dust settles, and the world begins to heal, the once mighty Demon Queen, Rei Oohashi has been defeated. But her story does not end with her defeat, it is only just beginning. Rei has been offered a second chance, a chance to repent for her actions as the Demon Queen. Despite her inability to forgive herself, despite her lingering scars, one person sees through them all: Lilly Lilium.
A girl who despite her own scars, from her time as her father's assassin, wishes for nothing more than to help Rei to heal, even if she's incapable of doing so herself. Together they begin a journey spanning the Kingdom of Bauer, and beyond, whilst battling their own inner turmoil."
Again, shameless self-promotion.
"After deciding to take another pilgrimage, Lilly finds herself in Melica, where a certain chestnut-haired woman waits."
A fic dedicated to an underrated pairing. It's cute, check it out
I realize I am missing quite a few fics, but it's almost 2AM and I'm tired. Is there a fic you enjoy that should be on the list? Comment and I'll add it! Writing your own and need tips? Comment!
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2024.06.02 08:14 Apartus1 I didnāt know I hated myself
Itās a very long story but please bear with me as itās something I really need to get off my chest, Iāll really appreciate advice, I canāt get it out of my head. Iām 21M in college.
My friends have always been girls or gay guys and Iāve only ever had 2 straight guy friends my whole life and even then we werenāt too close. Iāve always been a sensitive kid and my interests never were āmasculineā, so where some guys either dabbed in sports or video games or cars, my interests actually were anything but those things. Because of this, I felt outcasted by most guys at my school for not having any connections.
I met a guy my first year of college who I quickly befriended despite us not having really anything in common. This was the year that social distancing rules were being lifted, and I hadnāt made any friends at my college so I was desperate to make friends. But this one was different, I felt myself becoming obsessed with him. I wanted to be his only friend, the person heād want to see the most and talk about the most. I did so many things for him cuz I held on this pedestal. I was very shocked by this feeling and kind of embarrassed. I wasnāt attracted to him sexually nor romantically, but I felt like I couldnāt be having this obsession if that wasnāt true. I was questioning if I really was gay. Later on, he met other guy friends, ones with actual things in common with him, and out of jealousy/fear heād leave, I left him first.
Now since this event, Iāve realized the abandonment issues within the situation, but on top of that, I exposed the underlying reason for my obsession to be my own insecurity. I held him on this pedestal because he was everything I wish I was. I never explicitly had this thought when I met him. I never even knew I hated myself till I met him. I always said I was happy being different from other guys. The typical man only had hobbies that were athletic or lazing around in a gaming chair, missing these kinda attitudes is what made me feel left out, and that āmasculinityā was something I was missing. Iām aware of toxic masculinity and know that I wonāt change myself for others, but I felt like I had a lot of pent-up rage towards men in general for making me feel bad about myself as if Iām alone in this world because Iām nothing like them.
Having this realization helped me understand that I wasnāt loving myself enough. And Iāve known this for a while and THOUGHT I was working on it up until recently. I think Iāve started to hate myself more than ever and I never knew it.
I met a guy online this year (I use online chat rooms when Iām bored), and I ended up finding out he was bisexual and went to the same school as me. We started talking but the way we talked felt flirtatious. Iām straight but I do like flirting for fun even if Iām not attracted. I started to feel that the obsession I had with the first guy started to come up, but I must specify: I didnāt grow this obsession, it started right when I learned that he was athletic and on top of that an academic weapon with several hobbies. I started to want his attention more and was (as embarrassing as it is to admit), I wanted him to want me. I hated that feeling of validation that I craved, and I feel like it makes me an awful person wanting to seduce a bisexual man knowing I have no interest in being with him. But I felt obsessed with wanting that validation. Eventually, I realized I was doing too much and started pushing him away. But that feeling/craving for validation was still there, so I started to use someone else to fill in that gap.
I feel like it makes me an awful person just continuing on, but thereās this gay man in my club who I began to obsess with because I wanted to be a friend. And just like the last guy, I also wanted him to want me. But when I wondered āwhy himā, I realized that he had a very youthful look, and an innocent charm I feel like I used to have, heās very popular in our club and known for being the ācute but shyā guy in our club.
Coming to look back at this history, Iāve found that validation is still something I crave due to my insecurity in my looks and personality. And this has been the saddest relaxation that pushed me to make this post. I thought I was happy, but Iāve started to feel myself grow emotionally numb, I donāt feel much that often, and in all honesty, when I see an attractive man it ruins my day. When I meet a guy whoās charming, it makes me upset. I hate that I think this way, and honestly I never actually caught this mindset until today. I didnāt know I hated myself that much because I didnāt actively nor explicitly put myself down. But I see that my head has been unconsciously just comparing myself to every man I see. I still stick by not wanting to change for anyone. But I wish I wasnāt me sometimes.
I wish I had looks I was more confident in. I wish I was more charming. I wish I was more āmasculineā. I wish people were naturally attracted to me. I wish I was more popular. I wish I liked the things Iām supposed to like. And on that note, I wish there werenāt things Iām āsupposedā to like. I wish I didnāt attach myself to people, because I always hoped their aura would just rub off on me. Like if I just was around them for long enough, then I can be more like them. I feel like a loser for saying that but thereās so many people I wish I could just be, and for that reason their attention is validation cause if they like me then maybe that could only prove that Iām just as good as them.
And yes, I know I need to practice self-love. But I seriously thought I was, I always leave time for myself, and buy myself gifts, and daily affirmations. But honestly while writing this all out, I think I see what it is. I wish people treated me better. I think I want people to see me the way I see them (but I donāt what that means) their aura? I think itās just the charm overall.
I think the way people perceive these guys that I mentioned judge how theyāre attracted to them. I just wish I had that compelling personality. I wish I could be a star, someone people look up to because Iām beautiful inside and out. And yes I know that loving myself is the major important and all that matters. But I wish that I could feel that important to people. That sounds really greedy saying it out loud, and maybe that does make me a bad person. But it hurts feeling worthless. What do I do when self-love isnāt enough? I donāt want to want others' validation, but itās just how I feel. What do I do when I want more than I can ask for? How do I stop obsessing over people I wish I was? Self love doesnāt work for me, I need to know people want me. That sucks.
Thatās all. Honestly, a huge thank you if you read this all and are willing to help. This has been something Iāve been struggling with practically my whole life and have only now been able to put into words. Iāll take advice please be as detailed as youād like I need a major psycho-analysis and canāt afford a therapist ā¦.
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2024.06.02 08:09 sambob_squarepants My non-verbal daughter acts like she doesnāt know stuff, when I know she does.
My 15yo daughter is technically non-verbal. She uses single words, but only on her own terms. Weāre best friends, but weāve never had a conversation. She definitely understands a lot of what Iām saying, but because I canāt converse with her, I have no way to confirm what she does and doesnāt comprehend. We just assume that she understands everything, and take whatever we can get.
She can read and write, but unfortunately I canāt utilize this as a better way to communicate, as itās selective like her speech. When she was much younger, she would write words, like elephant and universal, or names of her favorite cartoons out of blocks or fridge magnets. She was doing so well at her school, with her teachers and friends. It seemed like she was on track to become at least partially verbal. Then Covid hit, and she regressed, a lot. She has an incredible memory, and memorizes random dates and specific stuff that we did on them, she knows pretty much every Disney and Pixar movie and the years they were released, she knows a surprising amount of song lyricsā¦ but she doesnāt write words like she used to.
She has just turned 15, and has become ten times more difficult than before. Obviously, puberty is playing a huge role in this, and it definitely doesnāt help that sheās taller and stronger than me. Not only physically strong, but head-strong. Sheās stubborn, knows what she wants, and gets incredibly frustrated when we canāt figure out what it isā¦ or we can, but canāt get it for her right away. We can only get her to eat 3 types of food, and will only drink from one specific bottle. She will never listen to reason. She bites these two spots on her hand, angry-sings/screams, and shakes when sheās melting down, and itās so often that she has these huge calluses on both sides of her hand from it. She takes off her clothes when sheās really mad (a HUGE problem when weāre in public!), and throws her shoes and headphones. Bedtime is almost always a nightmareā¦ and when she chooses to perform most of her scream-singing. Sometimes I think sheās asleep, then out of nowhere sheāll start āahh ahh ahh ahh! ahh ahh ahh ahh! ahh ahh ahh ahh!āā¦ usually sheās a great singer, but itās not pleasant to listen to when sheās mad, because sheās screaming like a feral banshee!!
She obsessively writes down dates. We have notebooks all around the place, and she canāt go anywhere without one. She writes in patterns, and will fill a whole page with just the first letter of everything she wants to write, then goes around adding single letters or numbersā¦ she could be writing 50 things at the same time, some dates, some activities she likes, some favorite snacksā¦ most of it nonsense, but very meaningful to her.
Iām babbling!!
My biggest frustration is that itās like having a toddler who can overpower me. She knows when sheās being mean, and chooses to continue. There are some things that I 100% know that she understands, but she acts like she doesnāt. Sheās so smart with some stuff, and remembers everythingā¦ except how to talk! Speech would be such a game changer. I love her unconditionally just the way she is, but Iād be lying if I said I didnāt grieve for the relationship I thought weād have by now.
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2024.06.02 08:07 Accurate_Context3661 Rethinking my typing again
Iām overthinking this again. Perhaps my mental state is way too erratic, but now I suddenly am thinking Iāve been too inaccurate beforehand, so now I think my typing may be wrong (again). Itās not easy to be as truthful as I can. Honestly, my view of myself is very strange. I have always been very unsure. So I wonder if Iāll get the same or a possible different answer. I apologize if I wrote way too much here or got off topic to the question.
ā¢ How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.
Iām a minor (15), so perhaps accuracy could be affected by that. Iām a female. I think Iām very quiet and blend into the surroundings most of the time (and itās not easy for me to be otherwise if I, for some reason, ever attempt to be that way). I either talk way too much, or talk too little. This is because if I donāt talk that means I really donāt know what to say, and when I end up wanting to say something itās a lot of built up things. Also I think I end up adding random things to what I say for some reason. When Iām having a conversation, I usually spend most of the time while theyāre talking thinking of how to properly respond, because I DO have an idea for what I want to say, I just donāt know how to formulate or back it up properly that quickly. For this reason, I realize I might miss out most of the details theyāre saying, so I try to do both now. This is why I find texting much easier. From what I hear from others, perhaps Iām a little too reserved that it could be seen as rude. However, I myself think I talk just well enough. Iām actually somewhat hyper and energetic most of the time, but not verbally. This is because I think it would be too exhausting to express that in such ways. I think a lot about what some things mean. Iām unfortunately very quick to anger, especially if I believe someone is being way too idiotic or if Iām told Iām incorrect in how I think. Perhaps this may be normal to get annoyed about? But I know I get very irrationally angry about these. I donāt think anybody in real life would notice I have anger issues unless weāre close. Iām very neurotic. Actually, Iām going to mention that generalizing myself is difficult simply because itās strangely difficult for myself to describe or identify my own traits. Also, itās a bit difficult to not start explaining too much and focusing on small things (but I think I already did that).
ā¢ Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow?
No diagnosis.
ā¢ Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?
Religious influence? Perhaps not strongly, although my family is Christian, they are not very strict on it nor have they forced it upon me. Actually, it was very interesting and I did believe in it at first, but due to my curiosity I think I ended up asking so many questions that eventually it somehow led me to stop believing in any sort of theistic way.
ā¢ What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?
I donāt have any, but I want to answer this with what I used to aspire to be. Very early on, I really wanted to be a scientist and kept insisting to be, but then lost interest, I donāt remember why, but right now Iām thinking itās because something about it is slightly terrifying. Very recently I wanted to become a writer because I think I was very passionate about stories in general, but I have realized how unsuccessful I might be if I chase for that with the amount of motivation and skill I have for it right now, so recently Iāve been thinking Iāll do something math-related, since I am good at it.
ā¢ If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?
Refreshing for most of the time, but I think I would get lonely a few times. This is assuming I have nothing else to do and can do what I want.
ā¢ What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?
I donāt really know what activities I prefer, maybe more of ones that are having to do with dexterity. I am TERRIBLE at sports, I am too wary during ball games (but this is because Iāve been hurt a lot playing with other people too many times). Badminton is the sport I am best at. I can play with quite average skill there. I actually enjoy it too, but Iām not sure how to explain why, perhaps due to liking the feeling of light movements (if that sounds correct). I like to walk, it helps me think when I imagine things. I donāt like walking if I have to do anything else with it, itās much harder to focus.
ā¢ How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?
I think Iām pretty curious. Iām not sure though. I have more ideas than I can execute ONLY BECAUSE I donāt have the required skills to execute those ideas. My curiosities are about whatever another person brings up, perhaps. Or Iām curious about peopleās analysis. My ideas are very conceptual, I suppose. My ideas are more like creating a story, or combining two stories together. Or I take one small thing from a story I know of and imagine things focusing on that. I think Iām imagining too much about media I consume, but I donāt normally do otherwise.
ā¢ Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?
I would enjoy it for the sake of a false sense of responsibility, either that or for the sake of trying something new that Iām not good at. However, I know I am not responsible enough to be good at it. As long as there is time for our team to do the task, I think I could possibly be able to do it. But Iām a terrible leader since I would end up being unable to think of anything. I would rather lead by being a participative leader, because thatās the only way I can lead properly.
ā¢ Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?
Perhaps I am coordinated, but I donāt understand this question at all. I may enjoy working with my hands. I donāt understand what this question means by ādescribe your activityā.
ā¢ Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
Perhaps I am artistic, I do draw sometimes, especially if Iām bored. My art is likely just drawing humans, and nothing unordinary, just normality, I donāt know why I prefer doing so. However if I was able to draw something that was quite surreal, then I would like to do that a few times. I just wouldnāt do it all the time because I donāt think I would have that many ideas.
ā¢ What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?
The past is just gone. You apparently canāt change the past, though it would be interesting if we could go to the past. But itās not easy for me to think so much about the past voluntarily. Sometimes I do connect the past with the future, but itās not because I actually think hard of it, it just happens. But usually if I think about the past too much, or actually try to think of the past, the first things I start focusing on are bad memories. I did mention in previous times that I answered this sort of question that I did not like the past, but of course as long as itās not because Iām focused on one terrible thing that happened to me or one terrible thing I did, itās not bad. The present is just a moment and then gone. So what? Also, weāre not really in the present, are we? I donāt even know whatās going to happen in my future, so I think I can only form an opinion on the idea. I mostly have a bit of an optimistic thought that it will go well since it always isnāt as bad as I think, but at the same time thereās a feeling of dread.
ā¢ How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?
I donāt think I would react that strongly unless it is bothering me when Iām trying to do something and Iām focused on doing it. Otherwise I would try to help without feeling any bother, but I may wonder why they need my help even if itās incredibly obvious why. If I decide to help them Iāll just do so because otherwise theyāll likely bother me with it. Either that or just because I can.
ā¢ Do you need logical consistency in your life?
I donāt think this is a good question, do some people really think they donāt need it? If there are such people, I wonder what their thought process is with that. Basically, why wouldnāt I?
ā¢ How important is efficiency and productivity to you?
I donāt think Iām efficient or have good productivity, but I do think I stress out over it. Low efficiency annoys me which is probably hypocritical. Although, I mostly do get annoyed about those when it comes to group work, because personally in those I would try my best to be efficient and productive.
ā¢ Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?
I donāt think I do, but I might have done it without noticing. I think I would likely do it if I had the incredible need to change the topic of the conversation. Otherwise I donāt think I would bother doing it, why should I care enough to control others, especially since that takes too much effort?
ā¢ What are your hobbies? Why do you like them?
I draw sometimes, to pass the time when Iām bored and to just picture things I want to picture. Also to show people. I just mostly like drawing to see the results. Strangely with painting itās different, I just like the act of doing so, but I donāt really care about results, so it ends up very messy. I like to write sometimes but only because I get overwhelmed and end up wanting to write what has been stuck in my head for so long onto something. So I guess thatās a hobby, but itās somewhat tiring so I donāt write for long periods of time. I do photography as a hobby, but I only picked it up because other people in my family I have noticed are incredibly terrible at taking photos, so out of annoyance I end up volunteering to do so. I end up liking it just because I like to look at how it looks on camera, I suppose. Especially with lights, because I recently noticed how it looks on photo.
ā¢ What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?
A few years ago I took a test for this kind of thing during secondary/middle school. I suppose it said auditory. Though thatās likely inaccurate now since I prefer reading the instructions and everything else, because itās easier to figure out where to go from there and I can focus on it better. I donāt know what learning environment I struggle in most, though I do struggle slightly if I have to do exact memorization, but as long as I can attach it to something and I put effort in it perhaps itās alright. I prefer classes with logic.
ā¢ How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?
I usually improvise but have a slight idea of what Iām doing. As in, I have a slight idea on the topic but Iād rather not be rigid on it because otherwise I would be focusing too much on one thing and likely miss something that would be good to add, rather than just having an idea then adding onto it if I thought of something. Iām not sure if that counts as winging it and improvisation though. Iām not good at strategizing but I can certainly try if I have a certain goal.
ā¢ What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?
Improve myself in general, because what else can I do? Just be successful and become someone that has a lot of capability. That first, then I perhaps could focus on something else. My reasoning is, I donāt improve myself first, how can I actually end up being able to do any other aspirations that I have?
ā¢ What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
I fear the idea of losing thought of everything. Or losing all rationale. I donāt know what makes me uncomfortable. I hate it when Iām dragged into something when I made it clear I would rather not be, especially when they never even told me about it until a second before dragging me into it. I hate it when people bring up something, and when I finally decide to express my thoughts about it, they talk over me or interrupt me. Either that, or they just tell me to not think so much. This is incredibly annoying to me, but I suppose it would annoy anyone.
ā¢ What do the "highs" in your life look like?
I think I would be very calm and focused. I think I would feel very lucid.
ā¢ What do the "lows" in your life look like?
I think my lows would be feeling an incredible amount of dread. Or I would be very anxious and slightly more impulsive. Though, I think nobody would notice much in real life.
ā¢ How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?
I think I do pay attention sometimes but itās inconsistent when I do or donāt. I pay attention if I have to. I like to daydream sometimes. Iām not sure if I pay attention more or daydream more. How would I be aware of my surroundings if I do daydream though? Obviously not.
ā¢ Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?
First of all, do I know why I'm there? If I donāt I would wonder about that. Also is it that I suddenly got there, or was I brought there? I think I wasnāt sure of any of these, especially why Iām there, then I would think I was kidnapped and just try to get out of that room. Ignoring all that, I would probably walk around a lot and think of the same things I always daydream about or imagine about. But wait, how long am I supposed to be staying there? Is there an obvious part of this room where I can just leave or is it basically just nothing? Really this is a bit too unspecific.
ā¢ How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
I usually try to think a lot before making an important decision, after all, there is always the chance my first idea could go wrong if I donāt think it over first. I usually doubt myself once I made that decision even though I thought it through a lot. I rarely end up regretting it and changing my mind though. However, I sometimes end up doing things on impulse either if Iām tired or for some reason I donāt even know. In which case I 100% change my mind.
ā¢ How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?
It takes a while. I do know how I feel towards certain things but it takes time to understand or explain why, otherwise itās difficult to express. I usually process this myself. Emotions are important, I guess. Arenāt they motivators though? Itās the entire reason why Iām actually doing anything, so I donāt see why it wouldnāt be.
ā¢ Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?
I end up doing this sometimes, just not directly saying I agree or not directly saying they are right, because most of the times I do this I do know I disagree, I just donāt have a coherent argument that is enough to be convincing, or one that is enough that my view seems rational, because most of the times I notice the other person would see the opposing viewpoint as incredibly irrational and stupid. I am working on not doing this though, because itās likely better to make them think about it than doing nothing and keep them thinking something that they could change their mind on or I could change my mind on. Another reason why Iām working on this because I realize agreeing without actually agreeing would end up nagging me in the head.
ā¢ Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why?
No, I don't break rules often. Iām either afraid of being punished, or because I see the rules are pretty rational and I understand them, even if I wouldnāt personally impose those rules myself. Itās not too difficult for me to try and adapt to those rules if different places have different rules. I do find myself re-checking the rules a lot though. I only donāt give any mind about rules if I really hate the community or place in which these rules have been imposed on. But if I hated it in the first place, why would I even be there? Anyways, challenged or not challenged, itās not one or the other, it really depends on how the authority does things. Consider what theyāre like first and what they do in their role then judge if they should be challenged or not challenged.
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2024.06.02 08:04 DrownedInDogma My friend has become gross and insufferable.
So Iāve (M,31) known my friend (M,32) since elementary school. Thinking back on it, even as kids, he had somewhat of an insufferable attitude; but it was easier to ignore. We would just go back to playing video games or Yu-Gi-Oh! like we always did. And at the end of the day, everything would be fine. But now, as adults with lives and responsibilities, it just seemsā¦harder.
And I feel bad because I know heās just been through a lot. His mom passed just before Christmas of last year, and that was a devastating roller coaster of emotion for everyone. He was still living with her and she was his best friend. He told her everything, shared all his interests and hobbies with her, etc. And outside of the money he gave her from his job to cover half the expenses, she handled everything (he didnāt drive, never paid bills, and heās now getting an intense crash course on stuff). Even earlier today, he mentioned how it was like screaming into the void now that she was gone; and so Iāve been sort of hesitant to call him out on some of his behavior as of late.
The first thing is him acting like āOf course weāre going to hang out if I call or text him about it.ā No. I have my job that is stressing me out; especially after layoffs just happened, and Iām trying to step up even more to make sure Iām not next. I also take care of my father, who is sick in a nursing home and losing his balance and mobility. I got three calls last week saying that heād fallen. Iām in a relationship, and my partner and I are already struggling to figure out the future so we can consider things like marriage and so forth, but neither one of us has enough money. I get dragged into so many things on my days off that I stress out cause Iām not at home as much as I want to be; safe, at peace, able to catch up on chores. Iām already doing weekly therapy cause of the stress.
When we do talk on the phone, he treats it like weāre a podcast or talk show, and I just need to stop what Iām doing to give him the next 30 minutes or an hour of my time. Iāve had to try and politely explain that I was occupied a few times. Heād call me at work and Iād quickly text him back that I couldnāt talk. And on top of that, the conversation always stems back to what edibles heās trying lately. Heās been going online and buying up every CBD/THC/Shroom gummy he can find. He once asked me to stay on the phone with him for 30 minutes so I can observe the side effects of a gummy with him, and I told him I was busy. He tried again and asked for 10 minutes and I caved.
And when we hang out in personā¦he just does some stuff I seriously have questions about. Several times, Iāve seen him reach down and scratch his nuts while sitting next to me; sometimes heās just sitting there and holding them. I get it: weāre guys, so whatever, right? But it never fails that he sniffs his hand after. Heās always in shorts and reaches through the leg to scratch, but he always straight up sniffs his fingers after. And he does this SO MANY times, and each time I pretend not to notice, cause I know heāll just deny it if I call him out. Itās weird when thereās food involved. Heās started treating me like Iām a lackey and heās the brains, and will more or less ramble off commands like to grab him a drink or a snack when heās over at my apartment. And he acts like he needs to dictate how the time is spent, and always asks me to watch some creepy pasta type stuff. Heās more or less tried to declare when he wants to leave (usually midnight, which is a fuck no cause I wake up at 4am for work), and will try to get me watch hours long videos on murder mysteries, photos taken before tragedies, reviews over gory movies, etc. Today I just about snapped at him when he asked if we could watch a video over disturbing 911 calls; heād just nagged me to watch a video about a lady finding dead children in an 18 wheeler in Mexico. And when I suggest we watch an anime or play a game or something, he acts like itās a hassle to fit it into the schedule. Tonight, he was so excited to show me a video about a South Korean couple in the 80ās that got kidnapped and forced to direct movies in North Korea, and I was mentally begging for his Uber to come get him. And he canāt just shut up and let it play. He HAS to talk and show off how heās some sort of YouTube rabbit hole savant. He acts like I just NEED to hear how well researched and well read he is about whatever video. We watched the Netflix One Piece, and it was just him listing every difference between the show and source material, or talking to the TV and characters, acting like he needed to coach the Straw Hat Pirates about the fights, and this was my first time seeing it. This was his 2nd or 3rd time (then later, he just outright said āWeāre going to start watching the anime together. Weāre going to watch it every time we meet up, and itāll be 10 episodes each time.ā Not, āDo you want to watch One Piece?ā Just that we WERE, no input from me at all, just a damn command). This happens EVERY time we watch something. If he makes a mistake when saying something, heāll get snippy if I correct him, and he acts like there was no mistake and he said it flawlessly. And then thereās the porn. Every time, he shows me his art he drew for his comic he wants to make and itās really just an excuse to look up porn. Nothing but nude drawings in risquĆ© poses. Iāve seen him scrolling through his tablet, and itās nothing but porn images heās saved. I glanced and saw him straight up looking at a hentai butthole shot while we watched some weird video he wanted to show me. And there are so many other thingsā¦
I know heās hurting. His mom was his only parent, since he never knew his dad who abandoned him. I still have my parents, so I can only imagine. But his behavior is getting to be a bit too much. And I donāt know how to gently tell him heās being a major dick. I donāt know if Iām just suddenly a punching bag now (he lives with his aunts and cousins, and they were all raised old school, no nonsense, āno, we donāt need no damn phone to turn off the lights, get your ass up and do it yourselfā type, so I KNOW they wouldnāt let that shit behavior fly there), but itās gotta stop.
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2024.06.02 07:48 RollingaDice 24 [M4F] Sydney (AUS) *Insert funny and eye catching title here*
When deciding to write this, I had to reconcile an issue; how do I advertise myself to you when I don't actually like who I am right now? The best answer I could come to was that I should just be open and hope that it resonates with someone :)
So I'll say all the boring stuff now to get it out of the way; I'm a 24 y/o living in Sydney, working in accounts. I'm 6'2, average body size, caucasian with brown hair and eyes. I'm happy to trade pics to verify if we click too. In terms of what I'm looking for physically, I'm not too picky at all. In fact, the only preference I have is that you aren't heavily overweight (chubby is fine!). Although that said, I suppose if you must know my 'type', it's girls with glasses.
So a bit more about me; I'm a bit of a nerd. I read manga in my spare time, I play video games when I can (games like ck3, hollow knight, Pokemon, those kinds of games, not so much COD or CS:GO) and I like a bunch (and hate a bunch) of Marvel movies. I also to play sports, used to play Aussie Rules and basketball in high school and now soccer in a Sunday league. So it'd be really nice to meet someone I can talk to about the hobbies we share, although I doubt we NEED to have hobbies in common if we click, it's just a bonus I think. That said I would love to discord and chill if we click, maybe watch some anime or play a game together?
I also wanna write a little bit about why I'm posting on here, I want to be fully open about my desires and aspirations from this post. I'm quite an introvert, although I tend to open up around a bit around friends. Speaking of which, I don't have too many of them. I have just a few close friends and that's pretty much it. I'd love that special someone to end up being my best friend, as cliche as that sounds. Someone I can just be myself with, who loves me for who I am, again quite cliche I suppose. I do have troubles really opening myself up to new people, and part of deciding to post this is with the goal of getting better at talking to strangers (although hopefully we're not strangers for long :). Hopefully you're someone that lives close enough that we could consider meeting if we really like each other.
So yeah, that's about it I think. Thanks for reading all the way through this, hopefully I didn't just ramble. If you happen to somehow like anything in this post, feel free to message, my dms are open :)
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2024.06.02 07:36 Lopsided_Director321 Story I Wrote a few Years Agoā what do you think? Should I persue this?
Inebriated Conversations
After eight long and grueling hours, we began our rapid descent from the heavens. I never really got the: ādid it hurt when you fell from heavenā pickup line until we hit the tarmac. The force of the impact nearly knocked my head into the seat in front of me, so fuck yeah, it hurt when I fell from heaven. Iād imagine even Lucifer himself had a softer landing than we did. He also didnāt have to endure the stomach churning and nauseating food that was served on the plane, but I digress, at least we had finally reached our destination. A land not so far away that only varied in appearance, but the truth was this mystical and magical land, deep down, was no different from the place I grew up or attend college. As I waited in purgatory, the security line, I began wondering if I was dreaming. Was I really in London or even a different country for that matter? The line, which seemed so much longer than the European and the U.K., line was filled with fellow Americans. Perhaps they are still acrimonious about us beating them in the Revolutionary War, so they decided that this was ample punishment for our victory. Whatever the case, we finally made it through security, then collected our bags. I saw my relatively new bag with the bowtie on the handle and was relieved that it had not been lost or left in the United States. We met our tour guide, Emma, who at first glance seemed to be very different. She had an unusual hair cut that was much shorter than ones most woman her age would have, but I soon learned that her appearance, much like Londonās, would not be any indication of what lies beyond. When we finally escaped from limbo, the airport, we were put on a coach bus, and taken to our hotel. I was exhausted and in need of a shower, but all I could do was drop my luggage off, then swiftly return to the lobby. As we stood outside in the crisp, refreshing air, we were handed our subway passes, or as they say, ātube passes.ā We followed our guide, Emma, on a short walk to the underground. When our group finally descended the stairs and made our way to the map, a map Virgil couldnāt even navigate, we began our journey that involved the same punishment as those afforded to people in the eighth level of hell. We walked endlessly, 10.6 miles, and viewed the most popular tourist attractions London had to offer. I was surrounded by beautiful statues, fantastic architecture, and attractive people whose dialect could captivate almost anyone. At first, like everyone else, I was completely and utterly captivated by it all, because it was a completely different world. Our group finished the day with a mile and a half walk to the Globe Theatre, where we saw Shakespeareās play, Comedy of Errors. My fellow students and I stood, as our professors sat comfortably watching the play. During the production, all I could think about was my numb legs and my aching feet. I tried drowning the pain with a few glasses of overly priced and nasty wines, but my attempt was to no avail. For once in my life, I knew what it was like to experience actual physical agony, not just the tedious and never-ending emotional kind. It wasnāt the lake of fire or some frozen wasteland, but that shit was still excruciating. After the play, we struggled to find a new passageway to the hot and crowded underworld, the tube, but luckily, I had service on my phone, so we found it. We finally made it back to the hotel around eleven in the evening. After a long day of flying and an excess of walking, I had never been as excited as I was to climb into a bed that was, quite frankly, too small for my six-foot-five physique. To anyone reading this, donāt worry, Iām not planning on giving a day to day synopsis of what I saw while I was abroad, because the sights arenāt what truly matter. I mean, I could just rant about Buckingham Palace and its beauty, Windsor Castle and its enormous layout, the Tower of London and its history, the Natural History Museum and its priceless artifacts, Stratford upon Avon and Shakespeareās life, Oxford and itās impressive library, Cornwall and its tranquil beaches, the Minack Theatre and its sublimity, or the Ashmolean Museum and its Jeff Koons exhibition, but that shit has no genuine meaning to it. Iām not going to waste your time by writing about some tourist sites that you could see in almost any travel magazine about the U.K., so if thatās what you are looking for stop reading. I suggest you pick up a travel magazine and read it until you are content, but if you want to read something real, then I suggest you continue. The reality is, the things Iāll take from this trip are the inebriated conversations I had with others. I not only gave these people advice about their lives; I learned something new about my own. I, ***** *******, am the Barstool Prophet, who descended from the heavens prepared to spout wisdom and retardation. Before I divulge the serious and deep conversations I experienced abroad, I want to let you know that the other person and I were under the influence of alcohol. I know what you are thinking, but alcohol has been a part of human culture since 7,000 B.C.; to put that into perspective, man invented alcohol before the wheel. From what I've seen in my lifetime some people drink to forget, some drink to remember, some drink to punish themselves, and some drink to converse with others. I fall into the latter category, but while I was in the U.K., I encountered people whose purpose for drinking was similar to mine as well as people that would fall in the other categories. I never really got the saying, "It's better to be a glass half full person, than a glass half empty person." I get the whole positivity aspect of the saying; however, I'd trust a "glass half empty person" far more, because they'd just order another drink. I am in no way trying to promote alcoholism; in reality, I am just trying to explain how alcohol can fuel an in-depth conversation. The Latin proverb "In Vino Veritas" states that "In Wine there is Truth"; wiser words have never been spoken. Alcohol allows people to speak their hidden thoughts and desires, especially to a stranger like me.
Emma
As I stated earlier, Emma was our tour guide, who sported a relatively short and somewhat masculine haircut. Luckily, I had consumed enough alcohol at the time of her arrival to ask her why she chose that specific style. After giving me a vague: ābecause I like itā response, she clutched her glass of wine and forced it down. We talked about her occupation and how lonely traveling could get, but she seemed like she was familiar with the feeling of loneliness. She asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up, and I said, āI want to be a lawyer.ā Emma slammed her glass down and began to laugh hysterically; she said, āSeriously?ā I found her response quite peculiar until she revealed that her ex-husband was a lawyer. He was devoted to his job and always worked long hours, which did not bother her, at first. I surmise that his lack of interest in her is what led to their separation. After a long moment of silence, I gulped my drink down and gained the courage to ask: ādo you think the relationship you had with him prepared you for this job?ā She paused and began to think intently. She took a sip of her wine, laughed, and said, āI guess so, thatās one positive thing I got out of the relationship.ā The chat continued with talk of food, politics, weather, and other small-talk topics, but then we somehow made it back to her haircut. Emma told me that she was bi-sexual, which, despite the tell-tell signs in her appearance, isnāt something she shares with most people. I told her that homophobia and racism is a major part of the culture that I grew up in, which surprised her. She couldnāt comprehend how someone with that upbringing could be so openminded. I responded with one word and one word only, āSelf-Awareness.ā I came to the realization that in life people are consciously and unconsciously molded by those around them, but at the end of the day, it is their choice to decide who they are and what they believe. Emmaās marriage may not have been picture perfect, but she was still able to take something positive from it. As much as we donāt want to admit it, even the worst of our relationships impact us in a positive way.
Phillip Goldsmith
Before I get into this incredibly intense and somewhat depressing story, Iād like to describe its setting. I was sitting on a red velvet couch, drinking Jack Daniels Honey in a tall glass with one ice cube. I know what you are thinking, but I was not in a strip club. Our hotelās game room/ bar area looked like an American strip club, not that Iāve ever been in one. Like seriously, if a few poles and dancers were added, Iād feel like I was at the Red Carpet, which is a strip club near where I live, but again, I may or may not have been there. I had finished half my bottle when Phil walked in, and I could immediately tell that he was hurting on the inside. Excluding dumbass frat guys, not very many people drink vodka straight out of the bottle with the intention of finishing it. He sat next to us, so I reached my hand out and said, āHey man, whatās your name?ā He said, āHello, I am Phillip Goldsmith.ā I responded as anyone would and said, āThatās a badass name!ā We talked about life, love, and women as most guys do. We were both close to finishing our bottles when I noticed a tattoo on his arm that said, āHarry.ā Who was this Harry? He certainly didnāt strike me as a Royalist, so I knew he didnāt just get the princeās name on his arm for shits and giggles. I gulped down a few more sips of my drink and slowly placed it back down. I looked him in the eyes and said, āwho is Harry?ā His response shook every bone in my body to their core. After holding his tears back and ingesting some more of his vodka, Phil looked at me and said that āHarry was his son.ā Was? He continued speaking, and I learned that Harry died three days after he was born. That tragic loss would result in a few other loses in his life, his wife, and his faith. Phil told me that he used to go to his grave on his birthday and Christmas, but he couldnāt do it anymore. He didnāt see a point in it any longer. Surprisingly I felt the urge to tell him that āGod loved him and that he would see his son again.ā I am in no way a prolific believer; Iād probably put myself in the wayward son category. However, something came over me, and I felt like I needed to tell him that. We had both finished our drinks, and as we were saying our goodbyes, he thanked me. I donāt know why, but he did. My encounter with Phil taught me that when you meet someone, you donāt know what they are going through, but through love and compassion, you can have a positive impact on them.
Lexie
Lexie is a beautiful and intelligent young lady from Kansas City, Missouri. We met and chatted throughout the week because she was a part of our EF group. One night, after Lexie and I had more than our share of wine, we began to talk about our plans for the future. Before I tell this story, you must know, I have the unfortunate handicap of flirtation when I drink, but she was able to move past my impulsive outburst. I think my accidental comments about her beautiful eyes, stunning smile, and cute laugh allowed her to open up to me. Despite what you are thinking, I like to flirt because I enjoy making women smile, I donāt always do it for self-serving reasons. Anyways, as I said, we started discussing our plans for the future, but one canāt divulge their future in an inebriated state without discussing their past. I gave my whole spiel about wanting to be a prosecutor who would later become a congressman, then a Supreme Court or D.C. Circuit Court justice. She said, āWow! Thatās quite the plan. I want to go into Law as well.ā I hastily responded by saying, āThatās sexy. I could see it.ā We both laughed, but then she said, āI donāt know though, Law School is hard.ā She didnāt strike me as a person who couldnāt handle a challenge, so I asked, āWhy do you think you wouldnāt excel? You present yourself as someone who does.ā She tried not to blush, then sipped her extremely sweet white wine. I know it was sweet because I made the unfortunate decision of trying it; it was so sweet that even a rock would get a hangover from it. Anyways, she started talking about high school and how people thought she was unintelligent. I laughed and thought about how I experienced that very same thing. I said, āFuck that, screw them. God, high school girls are mean. Do you actually believe that crap?ā She giggled and said, āOf course not, but itās still in the back of my head.ā I grabbed another beer from Raj, the bartender at the hotel. Yes, we were on a first name basis; did you expect anything less from the barstool profit? I sat back down and leaned in, intent on getting this point across to Lexie. I sipped my beer, ever so casually, and said, āListen, we all remember the immature negatives of our high school existence, but this is now. At some point, we have to grow up into the people we want to be, not who everyone tells us to be.ā She then asked, āWhy are you so wise?ā (You are probably thinking āsure she did,ā but I swear that is what she said; Iām not a narcissist using creative license to praise myself.) I accredited it to my amazing parents as well as the shitty ex-girlfriends, situations, and friends I had experienced. We continued talking about a lot of random things like abortion, racism in America, and other pseudo-political topics. It was 3 am. when we finally decided it was time to go to bed. I hugged her and told her to use those negative voices as motivation. Again, I was thanked for the conversation, which, at this point, seems to be a normal thing for strangers to do. My conversation with Lexie made me realize that, when we travel, the baggage we carry isnāt only the physical kind. That tedious and deep emotional baggage also comes along for the journey. Most people, who travel somewhere, will lose a physical part of their baggage, like a sock, shirt, or something of that nature. Lexie did something most could not and do not, she left a piece of her emotional baggage, the night I spoke to her in the bar.
Szymon
Szymon was in the bar area when I got to the hotel. He had a very interesting accent, which was far different from the ones I had heard that week, so I asked, āWhere are you from?ā He said, in a relatively drunken manner, āI am from Poland. Youāre from America, arenāt you.ā I responded with a firm: āYes.ā The conversation proceeded with small talk, but as I had a few more beers, the topics shifted to more serious topics. I was recently in a Holocaust history class, so of course, the first serious thing I asked was if he had been to Warsaw to see the Concentration Camps. He paused in silence, so I said, āTalk about hell on Earth, the holocaust was some fucked up shit.ā After saying that he seemed to gain the courage to tell me that he was Jewish. He told me about the things his parents endured as children and how his grandfather had died in a concentration camp. He told me how he had rejected his faith after hearing these horrible stories. He said to me, āWhat could faith do for someone. The Jews have been persecuted countless times for it.ā I understood where he was coming from, but at the same time, I didnāt. He had real reasons for his existential doubt, and I truly could not say the same. I got a shot of vodka from Raj; threw it back, and said, āOur faith shapes our decisions in life, even if we tell ourselves it doesnāt.ā He sat pondering my words, but he seemed bored of the discussions about faith. I quickly changed the subject and asked him, āWhy are you in London?ā I learned that he travels all over continental Europe cleaning asbestos out of old buildings. I responded as any young person would and said, āthatās cool. Iād love to travel all over Europe.ā He said, āit might be for a young single guy, but I hardly see my kids. I honestly wouldnāt be surprised if my wife cheated on me.ā I couldnāt believe he would say something that personal, but then again, thatās what alcohol does. I suggested that he quit the job and find one closer to home. He laughed and said, āUghā¦ you sound like my wife right now.ā I bought him another beer and said, āmaybe you should listen to her.ā He looked at me and said, āmaybe you are right ha-ha.ā My conversation with Szymon taught me that it doesnāt matter how much money you make or how many places you get to travel on the companyās dime. What matters in life is family and the ones you love. By the time we stopped talking, I could hardly understand him, but he shook my hand and said, āhave fun in London.ā I laughed and said, āI will, call your wife tonight and tell her you love her.ā He smiled and nodded, assuring me he would. It was time to leave, so I packed my things and got ready to go to the airport. I finally boarded my fiery chariot that would bring me back to the heavens. I forced down a few shots of Jack Daniels, closed my eyes, and wondered if the Barstool Prophet would have a second coming. Would I ever return to this amazing city and spout words of wisdom and retardation? Would I ever drink two whole liters of cider and wake up with a black eye? Well, that one is a definite no, but so many questions are left unanswered. Did I actually impact those that I talked to? Did they even remember the conversation? As much as I want to believe I did, Iāll never know. We donāt know what this life holds or what our encounters with strangers will yield; all we can do is give it our best shot and live like we are dyingā¦ (Que inspiring music).
Let me know if the foundation of this sardonic and surface level literature reference writing has potentialā¦ first ever post!
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2024.06.02 07:20 Flat-Economy9795 Wow and I mean wow it just gets harder
Kids are in constant need of attention and stimulation, when theyāre not attended to theyāre fighting. Still crying after daycare separation and still being very difficult to manage. Honesty I try my best and so does my wife but itās honestly hard to muster up the energy to keep it all afloat.
Before I had kids I didnāt know I was self medicating with video games and eventually alcohol and other substances. Yet looking in hindsight I can see in every area my mental health conditions manifested. I failed miserably in school and found solace in computers. Somehow I was good at it and fluked my way to a good career but Iāve never had shit together and was a self sabotager. I have ADHD, OCD, GAD and depression diagnosed but who knows what the f it really is. Medications never worked for me because side effects eventually became too much to bear. I cant do alcohol or substances anymore because Iām not good on them and they just make me feel guilty for doing it when I have kids.
Iāve been in rehab done and doing 12 step programs and counselling and everything else under the fāing sun and things just keep getting worse and worse ever since having kids. I cant get any alone time and Iām starting to have chronic pains from age and abuse on my body in the past and they always want to be held and whinging about everything.
They have a good routine with swimming, music stuff and do all things for them to help them grow like friend circles, doctor visits and speech therapy, paediatrics everything really, donāt leave a stone unturned but I didnāt know I had all this stuff Iāve been unable to deal with and now I have a family to support and see myself in them with a history of mental health in my family thatās been avoided and ignored and self medicated through generations.
Trying to give my kids a normal life while Iām a nut job is so hard and watching them be very difficult in everything while trying hard to keep a brave face is so hard man holy shit.
I love them too much to end myself but itās also hard to keep living and I would never do that. Sometimes i think separating with my partner and having breaks half the week would result in better parenting but I wonder if thatās my old friend the disease of addiction talking.
I think the whole world is fried now with technology and the internet has become a beast that I donāt recall being when it came out and a generation of instant rewards is being generated now and I donāt want a part of it. Everything is just so cooked now or maybe itās just me. I want to live on a village like Moana.
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2024.06.02 07:19 crimson_dovah How to introduce yourself through DMs, from an older teen [18M]
Please take the time to read this.
Iām seeing a lot of posts lately about people complaining about getting dms. Most of them start with stuff like āhey u cuteā or āhruā or stuff like that. (Iām ignoring the pervs, those usually arenāt teens) I can guarantee you, from my experience as a teen (18) who has been on the internet for over 5 years, that almost no one is going to answer you. To help out those who want to find a friend, hereās some conversation starters/tips that could actually get you noticed and hopefully find friendship or support;
- Talk about you:
āHey, my name is Max (He/They) I play video games like God Of War and Stardew Valley. Iām 16 years old and I donāt like people who chew loudly. I also like researching historical events and my favourite band is Green Day.ā
- Connect yourself to the person youāre contacting:
āI saw your post about being really interested in Dinosaurs, whatās your favourite? Mine is an stegosaurus. I like it because my name is Stephanie (she/her) and a lot of people call me Stephosaurus. Because I like reptiles, I also have a pet lizard named Charles The Toad. Iām 17 and I take dance classes 4 times a week which means I have less time for homework.ā
- Offer them support:
āHi! I read your post about feeling a bit down lately due to family issues. Can I help? My name is Amber (They/Them), I am 14 and I have a lot of anxiety when it comes to family because I get overwhelmed from my ADHD.ā
4: Ask for Advice:
āI saw your outfits on your recent post, I love your style! My name is Skye (he/him) and Iāve been struggling to find good outfits lately, especially for school. Iām in grade nine at a new high school and trying to figure out my identity. Do you mind chatting about some fashion with me when you get a chance?
The key take aways here are: Name, Age, Pronouns and
AT LEAST one interesting thing about you. Essentially, you are creating a short advertisement for yourself.
Online friends are harder to make because you canāt simply go up and say hello. You
must make an effort.
Sincerely, an older teen.
Dms open if you need to chat about anything.
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2024.06.02 07:13 crimson_dovah [18M] how to introduce yourself online
Please take the time to read this.
Iām seeing a lot of posts lately about people complaining about getting private messages (dms). Most of them start with stuff like āhey u cuteā or āhruā or stuff like that. (Iām ignoring the pervs, those usually arenāt teens) I can guarantee you, from my experience as a teen (18) who has been on the internet for over 5 years, that almost no one is going to answer you. To help out those who want to find a friend, hereās some conversation starters/tips that could actually get you noticed and hopefully find friendship or support;
- Talk about you:
āHey, my name is Max (He/They) I play video games like God Of War and Stardew Valley. Iām 16 years old and I donāt like people who chew loudly. I also like researching historical events and my favourite band is Green Day.ā
- Connect yourself to the person youāre contacting:
āI saw your post about being really interested in Dinosaurs, whatās your favourite? Mine is an stegosaurus. I like it because my name is Stephanie (she/her) and a lot of people call me Stephosaurus. Because I like reptiles, I also have a pet lizard named Charles The Toad. Iām 17 and I take dance classes 4 times a week which means I have less time for homework.ā
- Offer them support:
āHi! I read your post about feeling a bit down lately due to family issues. Can I help? My name is Amber (They/Them), I am 14 and I have a lot of anxiety when it comes to family because I get overwhelmed from my ADHD.ā
4: Ask for Advice:
āI saw your outfits on your recent post, I love your style! My name is Skye (he/him) and Iāve been struggling to find good outfits lately, especially for school. Iām in grade nine at a new high school and trying to figure out my identity. Do you mind chatting about some fashion with me when you get a chance?
The key take aways here are: Name, Age, Pronouns and
AT LEAST one interesting thing about you. Essentially, you are creating a short advertisement for yourself.
Online friends are harder to make because you canāt simply go up and say hello. You
must make an effort.
Sincerely, an older teen.
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2024.06.02 07:07 crimson_dovah [18M] how to introduce yourself in dms.
Please take the time to read this.
Iām seeing a lot of posts lately about people complaining about getting dms. Most of them start with stuff like āhey u cuteā or āhruā or stuff like that. (Iām ignoring the pervs, those usually arenāt teens) I can guarantee you, from my experience as a teen (18) who has been on the internet for over 5 years, that almost no one is going to answer you. To help out those who want to find a friend, hereās some conversation starters/tips that could actually get you noticed and hopefully find friendship or support;
- Talk about you:
āHey, my name is Max (He/They) I play video games like God Of War and Stardew Valley. Iām 16 years old and I donāt like people who chew loudly. I also like researching historical events and my favourite band is Green Day.ā
- Connect yourself to the person youāre contacting:
āI saw your post about being really interested in Dinosaurs, whatās your favourite? Mine is an stegosaurus. I like it because my name is Stephanie (she/her) and a lot of people call me Stephosaurus. Because I like reptiles, I also have a pet lizard named Charles The Toad. Iām 17 and I take dance classes 4 times a week which means I have less time for homework.ā
- Offer them support:
āHi! I read your post about feeling a bit down lately due to family issues. Can I help? My name is Amber (They/Them), I am 14 and I have a lot of anxiety when it comes to family because I get overwhelmed from my ADHD.ā
4: Ask for Advice:
āI saw your outfits on your recent post, I love your style! My name is Skye (he/him) and Iāve been struggling to find good outfits lately, especially for school. Iām in grade nine at a new high school and trying to figure out my identity. Do you mind chatting about some fashion with me when you get a chance?
The key take aways here are: Name, Age, Pronouns and
AT LEAST one interesting thing about you. Essentially, you are creating a short advertisement for yourself.
Online friends are harder to make because you canāt simply go up and say hello. You
must make an effort.
Sincerely, an older teen.
Dms open if you need to chat about anything.
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crimson_dovah to
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2024.06.02 07:05 Alternative-Okra3510 AITAH for hating band?
I will not be specific as I want to remain anonymous out of fear of this being discovered by whoever is mentioned here.
As of right now, I am an autistic high schooler (with potential/undiagnosed BPD) being forced to take band and marching band by my parents. I have all A's and a perfect GPA of 4. Don't get me wrong, my parent and their current romantic partner are fine. I have a roof over my head and food on my plate. The thing is, doing band has made me miserable and I can't quit, but I don't know if it's my fault or theirs.
Right now, I am unable to quit either of these programs because my parent and their partner (I'll call them P1 and P2) literally overlook the entire program. P1 is the band director and partner. P2 is the colorguard director and my bio parent.
I've been forced to do marching band since I was 8. It's an understatement to say that I hate it. The people there are fine. It's playing the instrument and performing that really ticks me off.
I've been forced to do band class itself since 6th grade (during COVID times, you can imagine how that turned out, right?) I still hate it. In 8th, I managed to convince a legal guardian of mine to not make me sign up for band class. When I broke the news, P2 accused me and LG of "conspiring against them." But, in all honesty, after marching season was done that year, the rest of the school year was absolute bliss for me. I got work done so much faster because I never had to worry about music. I did so many personal projects on top of all my school work which I always finished in class. I made more friends not doing band. I felt so good.
Fast forward to now and I dread the upcoming HS years with a burning passion. I don't even get a full summer break as band camp stretches all through July to the beginning of school in August. 9am to 4pm days of nothing but music, and I loathe it. Playing music is my kryptonite. It's the one subject I can't wrap my head around. Math? Easy. Reading? Even easier. Hell, I'd rather write a 5 page essay every week rather than attend band camp. It just doesn't click for me like other subjects.
But my reasons fall on deaf ears. To quote P2 "You like listening to music, playing it shouldn't be any different!" (Yes, they said that. Yes, it's as stupid as it sounds.)
P2's reason of forcing me into band programs is still unclear to me. If it's because I'm a hermit, I made friends in literally any other place than the band room. In fact, I feel more ignored there even when I try to participate in conversation. With every other student, P1 is oh so friendly, laughs with them, and whatnot. But when I open my mouth all I get is a "yeah" or "ok" before they turn around and talk to the other students (which are all mostly cishet white males with the exception of two people.) I honestly just started to shut my mouth again after that. It's also not fun living with that same person.
If their reason was because band could get me a good education, I'm completely capable of that on my own. Like I said, I have a perfect GPA of 4. I'm certain I can do almost anything. And yes, there are a multitude of things I would absolutely persue if band didn't take up my time. Art is my specialty. I've been practicing since a very young age and I've become quite decent at it. Writing is another passion. If neither of those work out, I want to do Psychology, science, or learn computer science, coding, and game design.
At this point I'm directed to think P1 is forcing this onto my because my older sibling also did band, but we're two completely different people. I'm not made for band.
If anything, it stresses me out more. It takes me weeks, at worst a month to even learn the music I'm presented with, and most of that time is spent procrastinating because I really can't bring myself to do it. If it has notes, I have to write each letter down or else I'll never ever learn it.
I feel like I'm justified for hating this program the way I do, but I can't tell if I do or if it's just my attitude. Am I in the wrong? If I'm not, what do I do in a situation like this? Telling a counselor most likely wouldn't help because is most likely they won't do anything because of P1, and it's not like the drama will end when I go home. I'll most likely get betrayed by P2 (and I've had enough of that for a lifetime.)
AITAH?
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2024.06.02 07:02 Significant_Use1153 My female friend confessed to me (a gay man), please help!
this is a throwaway account, I donāt think any of my friends use reddit, but just for peace of mind, I guess. Sorry if this is written badly, iām writing this right after it happed. Iāll try my best to answer any questions in the comments.
Some background first: My friend, here iām calling her K, and I are both teenagers who share classes and are the same age. Over the last two years weāve become close friends over shared interests: Weāre both really into romance manga, otome games, similar games/media, etc., and weāre both in a quite close knit friend group. Since weāre both āhopeless romanticsā and are into romance stuff; Weāve had this running thing where we call each other pet names and we created characters who we shipped together and had variations on our names, etc. I guess I didnāt see it like that back then, but I guess that mightāve been considered leading her on, but i didnāt think of it like that. I just thought we were having fun writing together. Weāre both quite bad at reading the room, but iād say for different reasons. (mental illness/personality disorder for me, and iād just say K grew up in an odd situation so sheās a bit childish with some things) Iāve only ever saw us as friends, but we are close enough to the point where she has cried to me over the phone multiple times.
She also knows Iām gay as iāve mentioned it in passing, and since itās pride month iāve also added an mlm/gay flag bordeframe to my profile picture.
Today K messaged me telling me thereās a boy she had loved for a couple months, how theyāre close, and how she wanted to tell him how she felt but she wasnāt sure. I almost immediately had a bad feeling about this, but went on with it. I asked the normal questions, (like if she thought that person would like her back, if he was in our school, etc.) but when I asked something along the lines of āwhatās this person like?ā she said āwell I suppose iād say heās a lot like you?ā
At this point iām petty sure we both knew the other knew, but i was really panicking, so i avoided it for a couple messages and asked more questions. I didnāt want to drag it out, so in the end I just sent this: āK iām just going to be upfront, I appreciate your feelings and i really do see you as a close friend, but Iām sorry I donāt feel the same way. I donāt swing that way, I hope you can understand. I hope this wont make things awkward between us, i really do want to stay friends.ā
She agreed with me, saying things like āI want us to stay friends tooā and āIām okay with thisā. I thought that was the end of it, but then she sent the following:
āi just want you to know that i will always love you no matter what. no matter what you think of me, no matter if you marry and love someone else. i want to always be there for you even if its only as a friend forever. youāre the most beautiful man in the world. no character could ever be as beautiful as you. yeah its okay i understandā
I feel a bit uncomfortable reading this, but as of now I havenāt responded. K has a really low self esteem due to a variety of reasons, and itās gotten really bad in the recent past; to the point where me and the rest of our small friend group confronted hehad an āinterventionā so to speak about how we were really worried, and wanted her to seek help/her to know that we were always here for her. Iām worried that my rejection will make this worse, but I also donāt t want to just date her out of pity. Iāll probably be seeing her throughout the next week for school, but summer break for us is also in two weeks.
Please help!
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2024.06.02 06:58 Noir888 Mafia suggestion
I hope the devs will see this one, IMO the mafia update is one of the best updates for the game but in its current state, its severely lacking.
Add illegal business
The crimes tab is bit of lacking as of now, and the way the "ranks" within a mafia family are partaking in those illicit activities are kinda awkward, Caporegimes stealing cars? the Godfather personally extorting a business? that's unrealistic, I suggest that "wet work" types of crimes should only be reserved for the associates and the soldiers, while the the Caporegimes can start or set up illegal business', like the following:
- Gambling Den
- Prostitution ring
- Pornography Studio
- Drug Trafficking
- Loan Sharking
- Smuggling
- Arms Trafficking
- Labor Racketeering
In setting those business' up, a legal front will be needed (lesser profit but reduces heat from the police/feds) or you can have the option to secretly operate those business' (bigger profit but attracts more attention from the police/feds).
Second, the Capos can set up the business' independently or the higher ups orders a certain business to be operated.
Third, a maximum of 5 business' should only be allowed for each Capo (if the player Capo has 5 gambling dens but the higher ups wants to set up a drug trafficking business, one of the gambling dens should be demolished.)
Fourth, the generating income for the player Capo from those business will be similar to how the family takes cuts from the crimes tabs
Fifth, a maximum of only 3 (+1 if you reach the Capo rank) capos for a mafia family and 5 (+1 if you reach the Capo rank) Capos for the Sicilian Mafia.
Sixth, each business will have varying "sizes", for example before you can set up the business you have to choose how big the operation would be, a small gambling den? a large drug trafficking ring? and each "sizes" will correspond to generated profit, a small gambling den will generate less profit compared to medium size one etc. and each "size" will also generate "heat" for your character Capo, the smaller the operation the lesser "heat" generated.
Lastly, like I said in the beginning, the associates & soldiers, each of them will be assigned in to a Capo, and the Capo can delegate "wet work" types of crimes for each of them.
Rank Options:
Associates
The typical stuff from the crime tabs:
- Bank Robbery
- Burglary
- Extortion (no "whack" option)
- GTA
- Pickpocket
- Porch Pirate
- Shoplift
- Train Robbery
Associates should never perform hits, this should be reserved for his/her "initiation"
They will also get random orders from a made guy (not necessarily from a Capo.)
Salary: similar to how the players take a cut from performing crimes
Soldiers
Aside from the typical stuff, the Soldiers should be able to have "perform a hit" crime in the crimes tab, it can only be done thrice a year and each hit will be difficult than the last, it has high chance of getting caught but if successful it will improve your standing within the mob by a large degree (the payout should also be good, no pay cuts you take the full amount of the money being rewarded)
- Ability to recruit Associates (if a current associate dies or have been promoted into a made man, you can able to recruit a associate to fill in a spot)
- They will also get a random orders from the Capo only
Salary: similar to how the players take a cut from performing crimes and if successfully performed a hit, he/she will receive huge sums of money and his/her standing within the family will exponentially increase.
Caporegimes
- Set up illegal business
- Bribe city officials (another way to reduce police attention, success depends on the character's notoriety, the higher the notoriety the lesser chance of success)
- Assign work (this is for the associates & soldiers) ā
- Propose/recommend an associate (the capo recommends an associate to be made, the success depends on the relationship of the player capo to the underboss & the godfathegodmother)
- Settle disputes (this will improve the income of your crew, settle any disputes among the soldiers & associates or sort out any grudges)
- Do favors (you can grant favors to to local people, like a school teacher, a lawyer, a small business owner or even a municipal judge etc, you can later "cash in" with these favors, may it be monetary value for the family, legal protection or personal wealth etc.)
Salary: takes a cut from the illegal business
They will also get a random orders from the Underboss or rarely from the godfathegodmother.
Underboss
In the mob, the Underboss is sometimes called the streetboss, because they oversee the entirety of the operations of the mob on a daily basis, he directly reports to the boss/godfather, so basing on that, the following options should be added into the game
- Collect contributions/tribute (this is for the illegal business', this is only available once a year)
- Add a business (You'll order a Capo to operate a certain business)
- Propose a Soldier (same with the "propose/recommend an associate" option in the Capo rank but this time when a Capo dies a Soldier will be promoted to a Capo)
- Delegate a hit (when the godfathegodfather orders a hit the underboss will delegate it with one of their capos, the success depends on the capos intellect & willpower)
- Perform charity (at the behest of the godfathegodmother, you'll perform charity works to lower down the police attention of the family, lesser sting operations, lesser rats popping up. Just like the "bribe a judge" option, charity foundations will also be reluctant to accept funds if your heat/notoriety levels are too high)
- Bribe a judge (to protect family members from prosecution, depending the amount of money being given, the maximum years of legal protection will be 15, for example a soldier got caught murdering a rival family soldier, if the Underboss bribed a judge, the family soldier will not be convicted. the success of the bribe depends on the Underboss' "Heat"/Notoriety level, the higher the heat/notoriety the lesser chance the bribe will be successful, if yo fail to bribe a judge, you can be also arrested and tried)
- Procure weapons (Distribute weapons to each of the crews, it may be small handguns, shotguns or even assault rifles, this will increase protection of the business' and of the members of the family from the rival family during mafia wars, this option should available during peace time & mafia wars)
- Will also get a random orders from the GodfatheGodmother
Salary per year: 5 to 7 million
The GodfatheGodmother
- Wage a mafia war against your rival family, there will be two sub options for this part, the justifications will either be "eliminate competition" (total destruction of the rival crime family) or "take over their business"(a "skirmish" type of conflict, instead of eliminating the rival family you instead take some of the "turfs") AI GodfatheGodmother should be able to wage a mafia war
- When a mafia war is ongoing, there will also be options for the GodfatheGodmother to pick, like "destroy rivals business", "take out their soldiers", "raid a rivals business" (unlike the destroy one, your soldiers will only raid for money), "order the hit of the boss of the rival family", "call for political support" (this basically calling on the police to take your side against your rivals, this is only available when you have a political ally, and depending on the position of your political ally if your political ally is a senator he/she can instantly imprison majority of the members of the rival family, if your political ally is the mayor of the city the only thing he/she can is increase the sting operations of the rival family), "ensue peace" (this can go both ways, when you lost the war you can still ensue peace, but the consequence will be either you're will be removed as the boss or worse be killed, and when you win, depending the choice you made for the cause of the war, you will be rewarded handsomely and a chance your rival family will be wiped out)
- Form alliance (Instead of going to war, you can also have the option end the rivalry between the families and start an alliance, work together in terms of business, this will generate bigger profits for your family but the downside is the police/feds will be now more active to take you down, more sting operations, more rats popping up)
- Support a local politician ( sub options are "fund a his/her election campaign" (or you can go to a more devious plot like rigging the elections), "eliminate his/her political enemies", "give a gift" etc, after gaining a political ally, you can now use him/her for your own ends, like "ask for political protection", "clean criminal records" etc.
- Support a national politician, same as the "support a local politician", besides the basic benefits, the benefits you receive if your national political bet wins (senator or presidency) your heat will be erased, no sting operations, no rats, if caught by the authorities the charges will be dropped and lastly if your character is engaged in a mob war, this political ally can instantly imprison the majority of the members of the rival family, thus increasing your chance in winning in a mob war. Downside is its much harder for your political bet to win, if you want a successful results or chance to win, either rig the elections (high risk of getting caught) or contribute 250 million into his/her campaign
- Order a business to be operated (same as the Underboss option)
- Put out a hit/put a contract (you can choose anyone from relatives, enemies, random people, friends and anyone in the family)
- Promote an underboss (when the current underboss dies, you can instantly promote any Capo for that position)
- Policy making (The GodfatheGodmother dictates on how the family runs its "business'" and passes certain "laws" within the family, for example, you can outright ban the drug trafficking business to reduce heat from the authorities or only men can join the family vice versa)
- Appoint front boss (appoint a "front boss" to insulate yourself from the feds/authorities, if your political bets didn't win the election you may choose this option instead, it lowers your heat/notoriety levels, lesser sting operations waged against you, and even if a sting operation is successful, the front boss will be the one who takes the fall & and rival family will have a hard time assassinating you during a mob war, The disadvantages are, it doesn't lower the chances of having rat in your family & no political backup during a mob war)
- Distribute funds (when a crew is an dire straits you may give them necessary funds to operate, the Capo will automatically owe you a "favor", you can later "cash in" these favors in terms of personal wealth, like cars, planes, boats, rings, or even properties)
- Go legitimate (This option will only be available when you're already the godfathegodmother for more than 15 years and have the enough funds (around 100m), this will dissolve all the illegal business of the family and turn you into a CEO of a legit company)
- Step down (retire as the GodfatheGodmother, to let the younger generation to take over, this option will increase health & happiness for the player character, and erases the notoriety/heat levels completely & you will also receive 250 million dollars, random events will pop up like a Caporegime from your family paying respects to you, a soldier seeks your advice/wisdom, or the underboss visits you to reminisce the good "old days" etc. these events will either increase your happiness or health)
Salary per year: 65% of annual earnings of the family (I.e the family earned 15 million during a year, 65% of the earnings will be your salary)
Day job
This option should be included, this will also be a good way to avoid police attention in-game or decrease your "heat", its awkward to see a unemployed schlep making millions of dollars every year and not get caught by the IRS or something lmao,
"Heat" system
For every crime you commit there a corresponding level of heat added to the character's overall "heat", the more serious the crime the more likely the police/feds will target you
Bodyguard system
As I observed in the game, you can easily whack anyone in your family, this should not be, by adding bodyguards, the chances of your success will decrease exponentially
- Associates - 0 bodyguards
- Soldiers/"Made Guys" - 1 to 3 bodyguards
- Caporegimes - 5 to 10 bodyguards
- Underboss - 15 to 20 bodyguards
- GodfatheGodmother - 20 to 40 bodyguards
The "put a contract" option should only be available for the the godfathegodmother
The only sure-fire way to "whack" a family member is using the "put a contract" tab, the bodyguard system will not be in effect, because as the Godfather, every family member would obey you no question.
Mafia Wars
During a mafia war, business will generate lesser profits (or will even close down), the heat from the police will be much higher & funds will quickly diminish.
There will be only two ways to win a mafia war depending on the justification you chose, these will be:
Eliminate Competition
- Rival family business are wiped out
- Rival family members are all dead or imprisoned
Take over their Business
- Rival family business' are in ruins (this is determined on how much of their illegal business were destroyed)
- Rival family members are in disarray (this is determined on how much of their soldiers/"made guys" were killed/imprisoned)
If you win the "eliminate competion" option, your family will receive 500 million cash, your illegal business' will triple their profits, consequences are the police will now target your family more (double the sting operations, more rats popping up etc), seeing that your organization is now the most powerful mafia family in the city.
If you win the "take over their business" option, your illegal business will triple their profits, the rival family will be weakened, the police will be more wary of your crime family there's a big chance of rats & stings operations.
If other Crime Families sided with you during the war & you won, you will have to compensate them for 40 million
Ways to lose a mafia war
- You've run out of funds
- Got arrested and convicted during a mafia war
- All of your family members are dead
- You willfully surrender to your rivals
Consequences for losing the war, you will be removed from being the boss or outright be killed by your rivals.
Some Factors in winning a Mafia War
- Capos/Soldiers that have high Intelligence & Willpower have the higher chance of killing/wiping off enemy Soldiers/Members & Businesses
- Your family's number of Soldiers vs the enemies number of Soldiers, if you have a higher troop count, you have a bigger chance of winning the war, if both syndicates have the same amount of soldiers you may have a tougher time in winning the war.
- Number of political allies, having a political ally may also increase your chance in winning the war.
Character interactions
Your family and friends should be wary of you being a mobster, for example, you mother or sister found out that your character is actually a mafia soldier, this will make them disown you, your relationships with them will instantly go to 0 & your happiness will also take a dive.
And the interactions within the mafia family should follow the hierarchy (For example, no associate should be able to directly access the GodfatheGodmother and ask him/her out to go and watch a concert of Lady Gaga lol)
Random Events
Random events should be according to your rank, for example, you're the current Mafia Godfather random events should be in line to your rank, a random guy suddenly insults you on the streets, there should be an option like putting a contract on his/her life or have your soldiers whack him/her or a celebrity starting a "beef" with you, you can either order your men to kill him or just order them beat him up.
Rival Gangs
If you choose to be in the Italian Mafia, your rivals should be the other gangs like Russian Mafia, Yakuza, Triad, Lating Mafia etc and If you're in Sicily, the rival family will be another Sicilian Mafia (i.e You're family is the Visconti Family your rivals will be another Sicilian family)
There should be also family rankings, for example, the Italian Mafia is the current most powerful crime syndicate in the city, followed by the Russian Mafia, followed by the Latin Mafia etc the rankings can change yearly depending on how much muscle (number of soldiers) & income of the families earn, you can also be the most powerful crime family for 10 years if you won a mafia war. If you choose to start a Mafia War the other families can join sides, for example the Italian Mafia waged a war against the Yakuza, the other families will join which side they want, or if you formed an alliance with another mafia family, they will side with you during the war no matter what.
So what do you guys think? You guys can add more of your ideas here.
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2024.06.02 06:51 chocolatecauldrons Part II: The Anthology - An Analysis of Each Track
Thank you guys for all your nice comments on my
previous post! Here's my followup post walking through the anthology - I apologize for the delay, but I wanted to sit with this half of the album a bit longer. This analysis will be slightly different: first Iāll go through themes present throughout the anthology, and then walk through each song individually, since itās not as consecutive of a story as the first album. As with my first analysis, I tend to also stay away from literal details as proof that a song is about a certain subject or muse ā to me, itās easier to understand the album when you think first about what the songās overarching meaning is, rather than getting caught up in literal details (and I think Taylor often throws these in as red herrings). Moreover, itās important to note that itās likely that the literal detail sheās thrown in is one that only she and the muse will understand (i.e. her referencing a lilac skirt in imgonnagetyouback is unlikely to be one weāve ever seen her wearing in public, so itās useless to paternity test based on that detail!).
Firstly, the word anthology means a collection of assorted literary works. As a result, I think there are more themes scattered through this album, and itās meant to be a little harder to parse than the first one. I think this album is what TTPD would have been before it crystallized into a tighter theme ā similar to the 3 AM tracks for Midnights, the majority of which were written prior to the standard editionās tracks.
There are a few themes throughout this album. From a romantic context, to me, this album is primarily about Joe. Iāll walk through why I believe that, but this album feels less muddled to me in terms of its muses, and I think that is in part due to the fact that her self-described mania from the standard edition is not a theme on the anthology. This work also covers her own relationship to celebrity and fame, and how that affects her romantic relationships and her personal life in general. And finally, I think the final theme throughout this collection is the idea of childhood, of formative experiences, and how our author goes about processing events that happen to her.
The Black Dog What happens when you intimately know someone, when you share every aspect of your life with someone, and then it's over? Six weeks after their breakup, sheās barely holding it together (āI move through the world with the heartbrokenā). She even tried to rebound her pain away (āI took the miracle move on drug, the effects were temporaryā), and wasnāt able to succeed. Meanwhile, she sees him go to a bar, and she has the sudden realization that he may be able to do what she failed to do ā he might be able to move on, with someone new. Reckoning with that realization is horrifying. If he is able to pull it off, what does that mean about the love they shared? When he had told her for years that he was who he was for her, and her alone?
You said I needed a bravŠµ man Then proceeded to play him Until I believed it too And it kills me How could they go from being so intimate that they shower together, that sheās aware of his every move, to being so distant from each other that she wonders if making her fall in love with him was a hazing? And the cruelest part of it is ā she doesnāt want either one of them to be able to move on, and give validity to the fact that they werenāt right for each other, even though she knows they have to. Moreover, sheās already *tried* to move on at this point, and failed ā she tried to manufacture a counterfeit version of their intimacy, but what if heās able to perfectly replicate it? And to really drive in the knife, what if itās with someone younger than her?
And you jump up, but she's too young to know this song That was intertwined in the magic fabric of our dreaming Given that a theme throughout the first album was her feeling like sheād given him so much of her youth, so much of her childbearing years, with nothing to show for it, what does it feel like to know that he can essentially reset time, by being with a younger woman, but sheāll never be able to get that time back?
imgonnagetyouback We know that her and Joe took a break or two while they were together (see: Hits Different, The Great War, in addition to PR articles). To me, this song is about when you do take that break from your partner, and youāre trying to make a point to them that theyāre not going to find anyone better than you (I can tell when somebody still wants me, come clean) ā the two of you are too intimately intertwined to find a suitable replacement. You know what to wear, what to say, what to do to bring them back to you:
I, I hear thŠµ whispers in your eyes I'll make you wanna think twice You'll find that you were never not mine This song also has a lot of similarities to So Long, London, which is why I attribute it to Joe. To me, it provides a deeper story to some of the lines she touches on in So Long, London:
I didn't opt in to be your odd man out I founded the club she's heard great things about And to some of the lines in Hits Different: I washed my hands of us at the club You made a mess of me I pictured you with other girls in love Then threw up on the street // Bet I could still melt your world Argumentative, antithetical dream girl imgonnagetyouback is a story of one-upmanship ā of trying to out-jealous your partner, of proving to them that nobody knows them better than you do. And maybe this time when theyāre both playing this game, it works:
Push the reset button, we're becomin' something new Say you got somebody, I'll say I got someone too Even if it's handcuffed, I'm leavin' here with you // We broke all the pieces, but still wanna play the game (Oh) Told my friends I hate you, but I love you just the same Pick your poison, babe, I'm poison either way The spacing to me is a deliberate red herring (the 1975 very famously made a song called fallingforyou), and a way to illustrate that the subject of the song wants space from her ā but sheās not going to give it to him. This is another theme that calls back to Joe ā in So Long, London, she describes him as constantly pulling away (Pulled him in tighter each time he was driftin' away). Matty didnāt pull away ā he was all in for two weeks, until he chose to ghost her, and leave abruptly. There was no slow death, no push and pull to her relationship with Matty ā it was a meteoric rise and fall.
The Albatross This song feels like a sister song to āpeaceā ā she describes what itās like to love her. Itās a little more twisted, however, as she describes her love for her partner as both a danger, and a rescue from the danger sheās imposing on him by being involved with him:
Wise men once said "Wild winds are death to the candle" A rose by any other name is a scandal Cautions issued, he stood Shooting the messengers They tried to warn him about her Sheās described herself as wind and liquor in her relationship with Joe previously, in Mastermind:
I'm the wind in our free-flowing sails And the liquor in our cocktails She has empathy for the narrator, but disdain for herself. Thereās also acceptance though: she knows that she tried to prevent it, and tried to warn him about the danger she posed. In the end though, he chose this life with her, and he chose the danger ā thereās only so much she can protect him from.
The devil that you know Looks now more like an angel I'm the life you chose And all this terrible danger Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus This song feels like another sister song to The Black Dog ā how does she cope with the idea that her long-time partner might move on? How does she cope with the fact that if she chooses to leave, she also chooses the future in which they both move on? A future in which they donāt know each other? It also touches on her wondering if she should move on with Matty, and how feasible it would be to know someone else instead of her partner:
If you want to tear my world apart Just say you've always wondered This song, more than anything else, illustrates that moving on with Matty was nothing but a way to move past Joe ā what she really wants, more than anything, is a response greater than indifference from Joe:
As the decade would play us for fools And you saw my bones out with somebody new Who seemed like he would've bullied you in school And you just watched it happen Thereās also the realization that Joe may never love who she is now ā who she was at the beginning of their relationship will always be who he prefers:
If you want to break my cold, cold heart Just say, 'I loved you the way that you were' Sheās trying desperately to find some way to make up for the fact that she had to leave Joe, that there was nothing she could do to stay ā she tried changing everything about herself, but still, the need to leave him eventually caught up with her:
I changed into goddesses, villains and fools Changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules All to outrun my desertion of you And you just watched it And she wonders whether despite his indifference, and the distance between them, she should still stay:
Could it be enough to just float in your orbit Can we watch our phantoms like watching wild horses Cooler in theory but not if you force it To be, it just didn't happen But now, they are merely ghosts of who they once were ā itās not possible to force the relationship anymore.
How Did It End? When a long-term relationship ends, you can point to the factors that led to its demise: a difference of opinions on money, on marriage, on children, and so forth. It is easy to determine the āwhatā and the āwhyā of an ending. But what is harder to diagnose is how you both became the versions of yourselves that werenāt on the same page, that were unable to discuss these topics, that couldnāt move past these dilemmas. That is much, much harder to pinpoint, and this is the question Taylor asks in this song. She knows what killed them:
We hereby conduct this post-mortem He was a hot house flower to my outdoorsman // We were blind to unforeseen circumstances We learn the right steps to different dances (ohh) And fell victim to interlopers' glances Lost the game of chance, what are the chances? But what she still doesn't know is how it happened ā how did it end? She also finds the empathy from the media and from the public to be false and selfish ā they only want to know what happened to feverishly spread the news like wildfire.
Come one, come all It's happenin' again The empathetic hunger descends We'll tell no one Except all of our friends We must know How did it end? // Soon they'll go home to their husbands Smug 'cause they know they can trust him Then feverishly calling their cousins (ohh) // Say it once again with feeling What the feeding frenzy wants more than anything is gossip, and they donāt care that she is utterly lost ā lost as to why this happened, and lost physically and mentally:
Guess who we ran into at the shops? Walking in circles like she was lost How does she give an answer to quell the empathetic hunger, when she herself doesnāt understand exactly how it happened?
So High School In an album that touches so much on feeling like sheās running out of time to have the future that she wants, and running out of youth to give the various men who come into her life, it is interesting and heartwarming that the song about Travis on the anthology is one that describes being with him as regaining her youth:
The brink of a wrinkle in time Bittersweet sixteen suddenly Moreover, another detail to note in this song is the difference in how she describes alcohol and drugs ā in nearly every other song on TTPD, alcohol is a vice she uses in her moments of despair, and drugs are what her previous partners turn to in their moments of strife (she also describes the influence of drugs on her partners as something she detests ā āsinking in stoned oblivionā and āyou needed me but you needed drugs moreā). With Travis, sheās not imbibing in any substances ā instead, his thoughts and jokes are enough for her:
I'll drink what you think, and I'm high From smoking your jokes all damn night Travis is giving her back her youth, making sober promises, and the impression that we get is that theyāre building this dreamlike reality together ā itās wholesome, all-American, and high-school-inspired, yet still grounded in something tangible, unlike the promise of fate and destiny, which powered her relationship with Joe and her entanglement with Matty.
I Hate It Here More than anything, I think this song illustrates how Taylor sometimes uses escapism and maladaptive daydreaming to ignore the reality of the situation sheās dealing with. She recognizes that itās not possible to stay where she is, locked inside this prison of stagnation and boredom:
If comfort is a construct I don't believe in good luck Now that I know what's what She recognizes that this isnāt what she used to be, and that she never intended to choose this life of secrecy, perhaps alluding to all those years she spent
ālocked inside her houseā:
You see I was a debutante in another life but Now I seem to be scared to go outside She describes herself as finding hope in the places her mind creates (seemingly alluding to her creation of characters and places for folklore and evermore):
I hate it here so I will go to secret gardens in my mind People need a key to get to The only one is mine I read about it in a book when I was a precocious child And her escapism into her past, and imaginings of what could have been:
I hate it here so I will go to Lunar valleys in my mind When they found a better planet Only the gentle survived I dreamed about it in the dark The night I felt like I might die All throughout the song, thereās recognition that she doesnāt want to be here ā she doesnāt want to feel as if the only place she can be free is in these imaginary worlds she creates. But thereās also concession ā is she perhaps only destined for an eternal consolation prize? For loneliness? For imagined romanticism? For the fantasy of how she imagined her life and her love to be?
I'm lonely but I'm good I'm bitter but I swear I'm fine I'll save all my romanticism for my inner life and I'll get lost on purpose This place made me feel worthless Lucid dreams like electricity, the current flies through me, and in my fantasies I rise above it And way up there, I actually love it āāthanK you aIMee This song, along with a few others in the latter half of the anthology, discusses the loss of innocence she felt in key moments of her life. This one quite obviously alludes to Kim Kardashian, and their infamous feud. I will make a separate post on this, but I think people describing this song as petty may not remember the depth of the hate aimed at Taylor in 2016. Kim and Kanye organized a revenge porn music video for Famous, and held a museum exhibit so that people could take pictures with the naked dolls. The night the snapchat videos were released, every Kardashian family member descended upon social media to gleefully celebrate the #TaylorSwiftIsOverParty. The amount of hate Taylor got was so unprecedented that Instagram actually built their comment filtration system because of this incident. It really was that bad.
And every baby step Taylor took (for example, even just posting that she had a good 2017 was met with
immediate media backlash) was quite literally mocked across the internet. People thought the reputation era was cringey, that she was over, and that she deserved everyoneās ire because she was āprovenā to be a liar. She describes this in the song:
Each time that Aimee stomped across my grave And then she wrote headlines in the local paper Laughing at each baby step I'd take And it was always the same searing pain But the whole time, despite the pain and blood, she was dreaming of the day that she would heal, and dreaming of the day that she would climb her way back to to the mountaintop:
And our town, it looks so small from way up here // So I pushed each boulder up that hill Your words were still just ringing in my head, ringing in my head What still irks her though, is that this bully who created this entire hate train and organized her downfall will pretend as if it never happened ā she will undoubtedly reframe things to make our subject seem overdramatic, petty, and unable to move past the incidents of years ago. Taylor, however, has always been clear about one thing: sometimes, no amount of time can heal you from something that deeply traumatized you.
I Look in Peopleās Windows This song to me feels like a sister song to The Black Dog, but a few months after the official end of a relationship. A sub theme that runs through Taylorās songs about the Joe breakup is the loss of being understood ā when you are no longer with a long-term partner, how do you cope with the fact that you move the world knowing everything about this person, but at the same time, not knowing them anymore? Would you peek into their windows just to get a glimpse of what their life looks like now? As anyone who has gone through a breakup knows, the hardest part is often not being privy to the mundane details of that personās world ā their dinner parties, their wine, their friends, and so on.
I look in people's windows Transfixed by rose golden glows They have their friends over to drink nice wine I look in people's windows In case you're at their table What if your eyes looked up and met mine One more time The Prophecy The prophecy is devastating. More so than any other song Taylor has ever written, it is full of desperation and longing. All she asks for is to be known, to be understood ā to not be perceived as an idea of a woman, or a starlet with no humanity:
Please I've been on my knees Change the prophecy Don't want money Just someone who wants my company Let it once be me Who do I have to speak to About if they can redo The prophecy? Itās striking especially considering how much she laments that leaving Joe means sheās giving up being known ā itās also striking given the fact that in the epilogue poem, she states that neither Joe or Matty ever truly knew her:
He never even scratched the surface of me. None of them did. What she desires beyond fame, beyond notoriety, beyond money, is to be loved and to be known. The song also alludes to her being in therapy, and to finding some sort of consolation that she will find someone to share her life with:
I'm so afraid I sealed my fate No sign of soulmates I'm just a paperweight In shades of greige Spending my last coin so someone will tell me It'll be ok Cassandra This track is a sister song to āāthanK you aIMee, and continues exploring the theme of fraught public womanhood we see in Clara Bow and Whoās Afraid of Little Old Me. In this song, Taylor discusses how the validation of women is never publicized in the way that the crucifixion of them is:
When the first stone's thrown, there's screaming In the streets, there's a raging riot When it's "Burn the bitch, " they're shrieking When the truth comes out, it's quiet Moreover, when women speak up about an issue, theyāre often viewed as overdramatic, and unserious. Cassandra, in Greek mythology, was cursed by Apollo to always predict the future accurately, but never be believed. We see this happen every day to women in politics, in the media, and in pop culture:
So, they killed Cassandra first 'cause she feared the worst And tried to tell the town So, they set my life in flames, I regret to say Do you believe me now? And for Taylor, itās reminiscent of all the times sheās been the first to speak out about something in the industry ā for example, against Scooter Braun and his well-established pattern of bullying, or of the exploitation of artists on streaming services ā but never been supported broadly by her peers. They believe her later, but at that point, very few people give her the credit for speaking up in the first place. Itās reminiscent of the Kimye scandal. When the news broke originally, the hatred she received was widespread. But when she was acquitted by the long-form video that leaked, it didnāt receive anywhere near the level of coverage that the original scandal received.
Peter Peter is another song that touches on both the male muses for this album, and in turn, on the promises various men have given her over her life (weāll circle back to this in The Manuscript!). It also touches on the theme of waiting thatās seen throughout this album, especially on her songs about Joe ā how much time is enough time to give?
Both Matty and Joe were 25 when they met her, and itās abundantly clear that both men made promises to her: promises of marriage, of children, and of a future. But how long can she wait for these promises to be fulfilled? To Joe, she gives six years of her life and youth, and to Matty, she gives him a chance to prove that he was reformed from the time she knew him last: both men eventually fail. Neither man is ready to give up their childish whims, and she has no choice but to lose hope that either of them ever will.
And you said you'd come and get me but you were 25 And the shelf life of those fantasies has expired Lost to the lost boys chapter of your life Forgive me Peter, please know that I tried To hold onto the days when you were mine But the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light Another thing to note is the interesting double meaning of the song title. To peter also means to diminish gradually ā much like her faith in both menās promises.
The Bolter A lot of the songs Taylor has written about Joe in this album deal with the question of āwhen is the right time to leave?ā When you know that things are stagnant, and you know that youāve given everything you have to a relationship, you know that you have to leave ā but itās easy to convince yourself if you have a history of āleaving before you get leftā that you should ride out this wave, and that this pain might just be temporary.
The Bolter, to me, reflects on Taylorās history ā it seems like she prided herself on being able to see the warning signs, and being able to get out in time.
She's been many places with Men of many faces First, they're off to the races And she's laughing drawin' aces But, none of it is changin' That the chariot is waitin' Hearts are hers for the breakin' There's an escape in escaping Itās relevant to TTPD, because likely, she saw not bolting as a sign of growth and maturity. You know that youāve grown as a person when you donāt abandon ship at the first sign of trouble, but what if there are so many signs of trouble that the truly mature thing to do would be to leave?
Robin Robin leads into this theme of childhood and innocence that we see further in The Manuscript. The track name is also the name of Aaron Dessnerās child. She ponders how beautiful and sweet it is that we work so hard to protect childhood naivete:
Strings tied to levers, slowed down clocks tethered, all this showmanship To keep it, for you, In sweetness And thereās an element of wistfulness to it ā donāt we sometimes wish that we could also be protected from the worst the world has to offer?
You have no room in your dreams for regrets You have no idea The time will arrive for the cruel and the mean You'll learn to bounce back just like your trampoline But now we'll curtail your curiosity The Manuscript This song is perhaps the most climactic song on the album. It covers her romantic history up until that point, and starts at the moment she feels everything went awry ā and it predates Joe and Matty. Instead, it calls back to the first time she experienced a proper heartbreak, and the first time she lost her childlike innocence in the world ā her relationship with Jake Gyllenhaal (a time she described as her transition from childhood to womanhood). She describes how they compared licenses, and how he told her that if they had sex, and it was as good as the conversation was, then they would get married, and have a family. He was the first man to make her these promises:
He said that if the sex was half as good as the conversation was Soon they'd be pushin' strollers But soon it was over He tells her that itās ok that they have an age gap, because sheās so advanced for her age:
She thought about how he said since she was so wise beyond her years Everything had been above board She wasn't sure While dating him, she desperately wants to be older, and starts emulating his behavior:
In the age of him, she wished she was thirty And made coffee every morning in a French press And when itās over, she regresses, and turns back into a child ā unable to sleep alone without the comfort of her mother, and unable to eat anything substantial besides the sugary cereal of her youth:
Afterwards she only ate kids' cereal
And couldn't sleep unless it was in her mother's bed
She forces herself to date boys her own age, to not rely on the maturity of an older man to guide her through adulthood, but she canāt help but feel disappointed in their youth:
Then she dated boys who were her own age
With dart boards on the backs of their doors
Finally, as she creates the All Too Well short film, she recognizes the damage he did to her, and how the consequences of that affair have shaped her life since:
And the years passed Like scenes of a show The Professor said to write what you know Lookin' backwards Might be the only way to move forward Then the actors Were hitting their marks And the slow dance Was alight with the sparks And the tears fell In synchronicity with the score And at last She knew what the agony had been for Everything calls back to this first man, and these original promises ā everything sheās been chasing since is reminiscent of this first scar. And just like how releasing All Too Well transformed and healed her, she hopes that by releasing this additional manuscript into the world, it will heal her again. As she describes in the epilogue poem, she is entering all her thoughts, emotions, and pain into evidence ā she now asks the audience to process it with her, and thus conclude this process of healing.
The only thing that's left is the manuscript One last souvenir from my trip to your shores Now and then I reread the manuscript But the story isn't mine anymore If you read all of this - thank you! I enjoyed writing it, and I'm excited to discuss with you all in the replies :)
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2024.06.02 06:51 futurebannedacct Choices
| Hello, everyone. I'm out of my hibernation with another important message for you all and I know that just makes you so fucking happy and excited. I wanted to remind everyone to check out my blog, which is one of the last bastions of free speech that is left in this god-forsaken place. Alright, now that I have officially tongued my own asshole to the point where pleasure turns to dysphoria, allow me to present to you: total bullshit! ... and some other things. Let's talk about choices. We make them everyday; life is all about them. This is a somewhat true statement - because life is really all about making sure you don't wake u p - and choices play a significant role in this operation. Probably not so big a role as language, however, because language is the most deceptive tool in the arsenal of the ones with the power, so it is important that we choose our words wisely. For example, I keep hearing the phrase "forced vaccinations" or "mandatory vaccinations" being thrown around conspiracy forums, and this phrase, in itself, is an example of the deceptive power of words. We need to be honest with ourselves - because through honesty the truth is exposed - and the truth is the most well hidden part of this experience because the ones in power work to keep the truth hidden at all costs... because the truth will "set you free". But I digress. No one was forced to get vaccinated - not yet, anyway - so let's be honest about this: you might have chosen to take the jab, in order to keep your job, or you might have chosen to take the jab, in order to participate in society. This is a choice that you are making. Perhaps the stakes are high and you had a lot to lose if you chose not to take the jab; but until they are breaking down your door, holding you down, and sticking that needle in your arm - until that time - you are giving your consent to take the jab. This distinction is an important one to discern because we should be paying attention to the parts in life that are forced upon us and the parts in life that we are choosing to consent to. For example, no one forced us to wear masks for an entire year, but we all (for the most part) consented to doing so, in order to participate in society. We all chose to stand on the circles on the floor, in every checkout line, of every store. We made this choice for many different reasons - but in this community - many of us simply did this for other peoples "perceived well being". In other words, we were catering to the people that make up the majority and aren't as far along in the process of "waking up" as we are... although, many people seem to be choosing to remain asleep - for many different reasons - far from the most insignificant being "fear based programming". Allow me to share my perspective: for an entire year, we all wore masks in public: an action which is gradually weakening our immune system. Also in public, we practiced "social-distancing": an action that is also gradually weakening our immune systems. Many people - the drooling masses - took this social-distancing b.s. very seriously, for their own "perceived well being" (while virtue-signaling online that they were doing it for everyone else). So, the government asked us to all make a choice: to wear masks and social-distance for a year and - oh - almost forgot! Hand sanitizer - all over, suddenly - some so strong that it seems to be pure rubbing alcohol - killing all germs - and, well... gradually weakening our immune systems! The government had us all compromising our immune systems and overall health, in preparation to get vaccinated with something that sounds... frankly, batshit insane. Do you think this was all an accident? An innocent faux-pas on the part of our dear leaders? I think this was done intentionally. I've also prepared this meme, to help illustrate the conspiracy in question: The inspiration for this actually came from a post in that was written by someone who is, by no means, an anti-vaxxer, and overall still happy to be vaccinated... because the debilitating side-effects, self-replicating spike proteins is nothing compared to the constant onslaught of fear-based programming. "Trust the science". That's the last thing I think I'll do; thank you very much. Science is a bullshit factory specializing in limiting beliefs, which uses language to support any point of view that it chooses to support... and of course the point of view we are inundated with, in excess, is that of the ones in power. So please know that if you choose to educate me in the comments, about why the science behind social distancing, face masks and hand sanitizer is to our benefit then I'm either going to think you are being intentionally deceitful, or I will feel sorry for you because you have sincerely become this invested in the wrong direction of practices that are to your benefit. The moral of the story is that the words we use need to be chosen carefully, because when we choose words such as "forced" and "mandated", we are only working to deceive ourselves further away from the truth. The truth is that we are consistently bombarded with propaganda and manipulation, from the many resources available to the power structure, with the goal of getting our consent. The internet has been a great resource for the power structure to use for minimizing the power of consent. We must constantly "agree" to the terms and conditions that are made to be intentionally agonizing to read and understand. We are being trained to believe that consent is of little value or importance - consent is nothing more than a single click - in order to get to the prize on the other side. The truth may be that our consent is far more valuable than we realize: our consent is one of our most valuable assets. We need to pay attention to the effect that our consent has on our shared reality - because if there is one thing I learned, after experiencing psychosis - it's that the greatest sin is often committed by very kind people: the kind of people who are timid, helpful, and generous to a point where others take advantage of their kind, benevolent nature. Everyone knows someone who is in a relationship with a manipulative, controlling narcissist that walks all over them. Everyone knows someone who is kind, meek, and respectful of others... because they have no backbone. Someone who has lived a life of avoiding any and all conflict, at all costs, and chooses instead to allow others to take advantage of them. When you habitually allow others to walk all over you, this is your consent that "it's ok for others to do this to me". You are a worse person that the one who is violating you, because you think that it is ok for this to happen to you. Alright - that was just to set the mood for the actual post - which will begin..... ........ ......... now. CHOICES: PATRIOTIC EDITION In the spirit of (shudder) "the most free country on Earth" we're going to (I had a bad reaction to typing that just now, I find the idea to be suffocating and repulsive) talk about choices in red, white and blue. To be perfectly honest, I don't know that much about topics like "color programming", or the exact science and reasoning behind it; I just know that this color palette is used with enough frequency and in a way where there is likely some intent behind it. Perhaps it's as simple as feeling patriotic about democracy, constitutional rights, and other deceptive concepts that are total bullshit - or maybe - the meaning behind it goes far deeper, into the psychological manipulation that is induced by this particular color palette. When I saw that the magnet shared the same red/blue color palette, I realized that these colors are likely being used in order to put each individual into a state of polarization. CHOICE # 1 Games are fun. Games are based in conflict. Manufacturing reality by making conflict the biggest source for entertainment. Being alive involves the near constant activity of making choices. We are indoctrinated with the idea that having more choices is desirable. The power construct that is manufacturing reality has recently gone into overdrive in the manufacturing of choices. As the information age progresses through time, the amount of choices is becoming an ever increasing burden on the collective consciousness. The choices are presented using many different angles. A popular example is beliefs, which are currently being exploited by the manufacturers of choices more than any other time in the collective memory*...* which is always followed closely by the collective amnesia. Choices are deeply rooted in the DIVIDE AND CONQUER strategy, an all time favorite of the power construct. Choices are now being utilized in another favorite strategy for maintaining control: ORDER OUT OF CHAOS. Choices have an important role in the MANUFACTURING OF CONSENT, which is highly valued by the power construct. Consent is the oil that keeps the reality machine running smoothly, which is why so much effort is put into the illusion that consent has very little value. This illusion is concealed very well within the fabric of the intangible idea of reality that is overlaying the physical, material reality and has been so successful that consent is given almost instantaneously and without a second thought. Meanwhile, the illusion of value that has been given to currency is as strong as ever: remaining in its long-held position as one of the "pillars of control", which supports and maintains the power construct. The other pillar of control: the illusion of legitimacy, which several institutions within the power construct rely on, has been under maintenance, as a new version is being installed. While the anticipation for this new update slowly builds, the grand master illusion behind the power construct: FEAR BASED PROGRAMMING, - that's it - I'm giving up on this now. They're fucking plastic robots that hit each other until one of their heads... pops a boner? CHOICE # 2 A theme that seems to always accompany color-based choices emerges: everyone on the outside, looking in, sees an absolutely pointless rivalry. These dudes are victims of mind control. Well, after choice # 1 resulted in a train wreck of disjointed abstractions trying way too hard to be deep, meaningful observations, I am troubled by the thought of how many readers have probably given up on this. I want everyone that is still with me to know that, due to irrational fears about what anonymous online profiles might think about me, I will now focus primarily on "fitting in" and being likeable, by employing a strategy of trying very hard to not express any more ideas that might be considered "out there". Obviously, this is just the result of growing up poor and uneducated in the ghetto. I mean, who is crazy enough to actually believe that this is somehow connected to other rivalry's that use... very similar hues of red and blue. I mean, they are two of the most popular colors out there - both primary - and... realistically, there aren't that many colors; especially that complement each other like red and blue... ahh, blue and red: the colors of rivalry. There's no deep conspiracy here. Obviously, these guys wear these colors so they know who their enemies are... because, otherwise, there is no reason to kill each other. This is all about the colors. It would be completely pointless otherwise and these guys would probably get on well and hang out in each other's back yards... and then the cops would have nothing to do, which would be a waste of tax payer dollars. Can't have cops just standing around eatin' donuts and getting fat. CHOICE # 3 Coke & Pepsi. A classic rivalry that makes me proud to live in a free country, where great ideas like capitalism can flourish. I know that they are made by the same company, but I don't really think that matters, ya know? We are presented with choices. Our choices shape our opinions. So, if I choose red - I mean - Coke, then I will get along with others who choose Coke and we will agree that we chose correctly and that the people that prefer blue - I mean - Pepsi, chose incorrectly. Well, the people that chose blue think they chose correctly and that it is, in fact, the red people that chose incorrectly. This is a conflict of interests, and conflicts create division. People who are divided require a non-biased mediator so that order can be maintained and, because this mediator cares about the safety of both the red and the blue groups, it only makes sense that they should be given the authority to decide what is ok and is not ok for both groups. This is the most rational and logical option because the authority isn't biased towards red or blue, which means they will know what's best for everyone's interests. The police are there to make sure that all red and all blue people are all following all of the all-inclusive rules, mandated by the mediator, and all this is done for the greater good of society. I - I'm gonna get all choked up over here, just thinking about how nice the government is to do all that it does for us. They protect us from those fucking freaks that drink Pepsi. God I fucking hate those sub-human blue-tards! Red people generally have more money and are more successful, which means they are smarter. What started as a small neighborhood feud between Coke and Pepsi is actually how the gang warfare between the Bloods & Crips originated. That's right, they got the colors from Coke and Pepsi, which obviously is a lot more likely than a vast conspiracy involving powerful people manipulating reality in order to maintain control and power over the uninitiated masses. Fuck poor people. Oh, and how about those people that make their preference for Coke or Pepsi an aspect of their personality? They don't seem to understand that the color of the can is the only fucking difference. That's why I stick with Tab Cola, for those unmistakable metallic flavors and the uncomfortable, sticky feeling all over my body the next day. CHOICE # 4 They're the exact same store except for the fact that one is red and one is blue... and yet, you have a preference for one over the other. You made up some reasons for why they are different in your head, because you are under an immense amount of mind control. Ahh... consumerism**:** the arena of pointless choices. Why does only one company manufacture all the different brands of eyeglasses? Perhaps... to have control over the market? No - to have control over you, stupid - and no: this isn't a joke. It's a desperate plea, urging you to wake up and see this shit for what it really is, while you have this opportunity - this window - into the illusion. You see, they are getting desperate - and lately, the world seems like it has gone mad - which is part of their strategy, which is preventing you from seeing it. Why do you think there are suddenly twenty new M&M's flavor combinations? All these new Reese's Peanut Butter Cup's with minor alterations of essentially the same fucking thing? Let me guess: they're just having fun... right? Trying to stir up interest in candy bars? Or maybe for profit... right? This is just a business strategy to get your money... right? No... no... I'm afraid you're thinking way too small... with your logic and reason and all the other LIMITING BELIEFS that you have been - and are being - indoctrinated with: every fucking day! These are all pointless choices (brought to you by consumerism) that are trying to keep you distracted. Trying to keep your mind occupied. Why is Netflix trying to induce option paralysis? Why are the high-tech gadgets we use for entertainment purposes bombarding us with a constant onslaught of ads, new articles, stories, and a maddening amount of pointless bullshit?!?!?! They want you to be overwhelmed*;* they want you to freeze. They want you to have no sense of identity. They want life to overwhelm you with an endless list of pointless shit that has to get done in order to maintain... in order to maintain... to maintain what? THE ILLUSION, IDIOT. Ok: that was uncalled for. I don't think you're an idiot. I think that you know, in the bottom of your cold, gray heart , that the crazy shit I am saying sounds right (for some reason). They are manipulating reality in order to keep you under their power and control. I don't exactly know why, but I do know that they care a lot more about you being distracted than they care about worthless green paper. You know what? I bet the 1% doesn't give a shit about money: they simply have all of it just to piss you off. Why is all this corruption in the news all the time? The next fucking scandal that everyone can talk about? WHY is the news telling us to wear masks, get vaccinated and then, the following week, admitting COVID-19 is a bio-weapon? TO KEEP YOU DISTRACTED. THAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO THEM. Oh, and Walmart and Target's LOGOS both contain some occult symbolism. Yep: Target's logo is the astrological symbol for the sun and Walmart's logo is the Star of David... with the hexagon in the middle. The hexagon is symbolic of the cube. Once you understand that you can't not see the cube*.* It's fucking weird - but also a conversation for another time - when we can discuss why all of these well-known corporate LOGOs are symbolic of Saturn: https://preview.redd.it/vsv8fcvh834d1.jpg?width=511&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d9a14f0b398633824a2768e3128268aa6628c689 CHOICE # 5 You know what? I think I should devote a large portion of my life to watching a bunch of overpaid, mentally compromised, grown-ass men chase a ball around. I also think I should be passionate about the team that is closest to me in geographical proximity. This is not mind control, but as a conspiracy realist, I do like to point out that MK Ultra really did happen, and the CIA really did experiment with mind control back in the 1950's, but the program ended decades ago. I like to go on online conspiracy forums, and help people understand the reality of conspiracy theories, so they don't get sucked into lies like Q-anon or lizard people or THIS POST, WHICH IS OBVIOUSLY THE WORK OF A MENTALLY UNSTABLE INDIVIDUAL. Watching sports makes me feel safe, and comfortable, because it distracts me from all the bullshit of everyday life. It's good to have a nice distraction - and fill my mind with useless sports stats - or talk endlessly with the bro's about individual players strength's and weaknesses - in a boring, monotonous tone of voice - while I sip domestic piss-water beer. I don't want to think too deeply about things because it starts to make me really uncomfortable when I have to confront reality. I'd rather just not worry about it and see what happens. Who am I but a lowly speck of insignificant, worthless dog shit in this giant, scary universe, where I am completely powerless to do anything but take whatever beating the world feels like dishing out to me that day? I dunno. Maybe Jesus will come back and good will win out in the end. Good always wins in the end - that's just the way it works - so I don't really have to worry about anything. God is good. My little brother doesn't like sports at all. He likes to put on girls makeup, and is always depressed and confused and obsessing about some dumb shit. We're lucky to live in the modern age, with advancements in science that will allow my brother to medically transition into the woman that he always should have been - and always truly was - on the inside. Some assholes don't think that trans women are women. They just don't understand how science works, and don't care to learn. They are just misogynistic, transphobic assholes. That's right: if you don't think that you can be born a man and then change into a woman that means you are transphobic. You hate trans people because you don't want to believe that a man can change into a woman. Anyway - that's my brother -not me. I like guy shit... because I'm normal. CHOICE # 666 The choice of the beast Oh NO! Everyone hates politics - which is why I hid it at the end - because I know nobody is still reading this. I've alienated myself from the audience, with all the confusing switching between dialogues of seemingly different people and JUST BECAUSE I BET there will be some DIP-CLIP that says "voting is how we get things done around here." HA! Nice try, but this isn't about politics; this is a meta-analysis of WHY it's NO POLITICS. The short answer is that participating in this is as pointless as those people above, participating in gang warfare against their fellow man. "THOSE PEOPLE?" What do you mean, those people? Black people? THIS GUYS RACIST. No, even worse: HE'S INTOLERANT. The human race has become far too soft, weak and emasculated by the pesticides and environmental toxins that get dumped all over us, every day! GET VACCINATED for other people, you SELFISH CONSPIRACY THEORIST. This is why we aren't going to reach herd immunity and we will have to deal with COVID-19 for years to come: because of people like you. WHY WOULD I trust a RANDOM, intolerant asshole on Reddit, who watched a YouTube video about lizard people, over EXPERTS who WENT TO SCHOOL for years to become indoctrinated, believe everything the MSM tells them, and completely LACK the ability to critically think?! All my life I heard that I "need to go to college", and today I couldn't be happier that I am not of a "higher education" because, from what I've gathered, they are some of the most CLOSE-MINDED people on the planet. LIMITING BELIEFS. That's what trendy these days. I'm not done yet! Yes, I'm gonna talk about the donkey and the elephant: not only are politics bullshit; those who participate in politics are participating in a terrible, evil practice. Why would you affiliate with a political party and tell people what you think they can and cannot do? Can't you see that's the crux of the problem? I know things are fucked when the majority of people are of the opinion that we need to FIX the government (change it, drain the swamp, bureaucracy, etc.) They don't get it - we don't need to change the government - we need to END the government. Government is the single biggest threat to humanity. "But they protect us from the BAD people." Guess what? "The bad people" are there because of the government. The government needs the bad people to be there, in order to maintain their "illusion of legitimacy" (credit - Jim@EOI) and make themselves seem needed. THE BAD PEOPLE are the people who protect us. The sooner you understand that, the better off you are. And people are still talking about election fraud because they think that Trump is GOOD. Can't you see the mind control? How are these people this BLIND to reality? Manipulation of reality. Look... it's the superpowers. The greatest countries in the world! But why do they have the exact same color scheme as all the pointless choices? How can they be united? This is the divided states and the divided kingdom, and they have conquered. DIVIDE & CONQUER. Oh, wait... some patriots went off to find a new home and fight for freedom from the oppression of the taxation of the royal bloody palace? Only to go and make a new country even more oppressive and with higher taxes, some two-hundred odd years later? Are you SURE that it wasn't actually to commit GENOCIDE against all the indigenous BROWN PEOPLE, whose genetic makeup allowed them to have a far deeper understanding of spirituality? Co Ul Dn't bE Th*@*T.... I'M DRAWING A LINE IN THE SAND I am so sick of the average Redditor - who thinks they're smart because they're an atheist who understands science - arguing with me, using all their SUPER-BELIEVABLE LIMITING BELIEFS. I know on Reddit it's hard to tell who is real and who ... isn't real - but these people are seemingly the majority now - and they're fucked. They don't even actually understand what science is. Science isn't chopping off your dick to be a woman. Let's talk about the actual scientist who performed many series of actual scientific experiments to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that people are able to control material reality with only the use of their minds. Why doesn't anyone ever want to talk about THAT science? What it seems is that every thing in this world - every institution, religion, and academic study - has been corrupted to keep us under control. The people that are in control of this world have access to esoteric knowledge that they have hidden from the masses to keep for themselves. This knowledge involves the ability to manipulate reality, which they use for power and keeping the rest of us down and powerless. From what I can tell, the thing they don't want us to know is that we are powerful beings, with capabilities that have been hidden and unused. Every person needs to understand that they are a powerful being that doesn't need any help or anyone to save them. WE have the power to control our own destiny. If the majority would start believing in their power and themselves, we would have a chance at ending this shitty reality manipulation and living as non-dual beings of love - as the true source of creation made us - powerful, independent beings with everything we need, and no need to evolve or learn shitty lessons about suffering. Unfortunately, it seems like most people would prefer to keep their creature comforts, believe that this isn't as bad as I am making it sound, and remain here, in the safety of familiarity... away from the fear of the unknown. And that makes me so fucking sad that it brings tears to my eyes. submitted by futurebannedacct to CoronavirusCirclejerk [link] [comments] |
2024.06.02 06:42 red_arceus Amazon failed me, frustrated beyond my capacity
Sorry for the long post. TLDR: Was delivered used laptop from Amazon and since the day of delivery I have been chasing them for pickup of my item and my refund of my money with no progress at all. So questioning whether we should stop purchasing costly electronics online? Details: I think now is the time to go back to old school electronics stores instead of Amazon for buying expensive electronics. I will tell my story. So I ordered a gaming laptop from Amazon and the same was delivered within 2 days (although was promised next day delivery for being a prime member, but that's okay). Amazon doesn't have any Open Box Delivery so we did made a unboxing video of the packaging to find what we ordered. But when I checked few other details on HP's website I found I have been delivered a used laptop whose warranty is already in progress and it is already registered by someone around 1 month back. So I didn't want to keep the product but there is no return on Amazon now. So I reached out to customer support team then they asked me for images and said they will have to register an incident which would require to be verified and it will take 3 days. I gave them photos and understood the incident was cancelled as photos were not as per their requirements so I sent photos again, this time the incident was resolved in my favour and a return was created. Now my nightmare started, no one is coming to pickup the item and after each pickup deadline I have to reach out to them and they schedule it for next day or sometimes a window of 3-4 days. We have done this 6-7 times with no progress. I was fed up and asked for my money so I was promised advance refund and asked to keep the product ready for pickup within a week. After being promised for refund in 24 hrs I still didn't get my money back so I reached out again and again they said we can't do it because pickup is active and asked me to reach out on 31st May again (I had to reach out twice as the first time the executive disconnected the call), when I did, they said nothing can be done connect again on 1st June. So I connected on June 2nd but no response, the executive ghosted and didn't respond for more than 30 minutes. I am more frustrated by the communication channels and the way they are making me beg for my money and that I have to reach out to them when clearly they are failing me.
Can a lawyer here help me with this case or guide me? The product was delivered in Delhi to my house but I currently live in Bangalore for work but my parents can attend the matter in Delhi. The cost of item is INR 54990.
Edit:
I am ready to hire a lawyer to help me with this case.
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