Arabian thoughts and quotes on birthdays

I am building a small house on my property (30 sq metres) in suburban Wellington, new Zealand.
I realise that my question might be too specific to New Zealand but i thought it may be general enough for this sub?
My architect has asked
Are you wanting the storm water from the 2 downpipes to connect to the existing stormwater pipes from the house? Or should we do a soak pit somewhere? - I'm not sure which of these will be 'easier' though, maybe you could ask your builder or plumber?
I'm thinking this is more of a drainlayer question but I'm finding it hard to get advice without engaging someone for an actual quote for the job. I'm not at that stage yet, it's just for the building consent.
From what i can see online eg https://www.xlstructural.co.nz/blog/options-for-stormwater-management
connecting to the existing pipes would be easier and therefore cheaper. This states:
The most straightforward and cost-effective method of stormwater disposal is connecting to the local council's stormwater system. This typically involves trenching and connecting downpipes, allowing runoff to flow into the council drainage network. However, this option is becoming less viable as councils restrict the number of stormwater connections to systems that are at or near capacity.
The new house is about 15 metres from the existing one (up a bank). There isn't a lot of spare room around where the new house will go which i assume would also be a problem.
Does anyone have any advice? Or recommendations of where i could ask, or find more information?
thank you

Currently on day 8 sober, living at an all male sober living house. God damn so I feel better physically but mentally I am drained. Just got off the phone with what I thought was my girlfriend, apparently I said some pretty shitty things to her during a bender a month ago and she dumped me then.
It’s strange hearing you got broken up with a month ago and have no recollection of it. I have to wait until 30 days to be able to leave and visit people. For now, I’m counting those days so I can see her again in person and slowly try to win her back being the real me, sober.
I’m not sure where I’m going with this…maybe I just need someone to tell me it will be okay. I feel so ashamed learning the things I’ve said to her while blackout in the past. I’m so proud of myself for doing this and I’m doing it for myself, but, a big reason is to also have a chance to win the one girl I fell in love back into my life.
Anyways, thanks for making it this far reading. I’ll be 26 next month which will be nice having a sober birthday in a decade. I love you all, maybe this meeting I’m going to tomorrow will help me get my mind off things.
IWNDWYT

I had a serious talk with my older sister today and she revealed to me that my mum told my neice that she wants to die because of all the pain from her artheritus and other old people problems. I have no idea how to process this because she never seems in bad spirits when around me and my older sister but for some reason she confides to my neice. I don't want to ask her about this. That is the very last thing I want to do. I don't know how to process this. I was also told that she does something when I am not around and she blacks out completely when in the middle of sentences. She has her ups and downs days and she only seems to have ups days when not taking her medication which is causing her to sleep a lot and not eat for days on end. She's like 88 pounds now apparently and wears pants meant for 7yos. I knew she was geting skinny and on my last birthday in may I noticed she wouldn't eat anything at all and fell asleep on the toilet and on the chair while holding the food I made. I am scared and I don't know what to do. I thought I had like at least 5-7 more years at least but I don't she is gonna make it another 2 and the worst part is my father is doing basically nothing and not telling anyone about it or even talking about any of it or even realizing how serious this is or they just dont want to achnowledge it. Worst of all. I am not being told any of this as if they are deliberately trying to shield me like a child. I mean, I am the youngest, but ffs I am like, almost 40.

My kuya is bisexual and came out to our parents this year. Hindi sya nagcelebrate nung birthday nya kahit binilhan namin sya ng cake and jollibee. He refused to take pictures that day because this year, they also forced him to break up with his girlfriend when they discovered she was trans.
Yesterday, June 1st, he spent the day locking himself up in his room. Kaninang umaga, nag-iiyakan kami kasi he thinks no matter what he does, he is never enough. He doesn't feel accepted by our parents for who he is regardless of his personal and academic achievements because, of course, they don't.
I want to get him something special this June to give him some semblance of hope. Kasi I won't get another cause for celebration until next year (his bday, his graduation, and we never celebrated any normal Christian holiday before). Even if walang ganap sometime in the next few months, I need a plan so I can start saving up. I could also just give him love and support but it can't make up for the disappointment of two parental figures. I will always be here for him, regardless. I want him to remember me, and that he is loved.
Here are some ideas: - dried flower bouquet - cake - big rainbow plush - spa day (mani + pedi + facial/hair) - fancy cafe date - clothing - makeup and skincare - ???
Conflicts: - if I get him gifts or food at home, we need to hide evidence because parents will notice every new thing we get; "saan galing yan?" "Saan nyo binili yan?" "Bakit di kayo nag-aya?" - can't hold an open celebration with the parents either sa bahay or someplace else without them knowing the reason for it. And it would make my brother upset with the fact that we are celebrating something they are openly against. - parents don't let us have days out with just the two of us, kasi (1) they feel left out and think we hate them, (2) they don't like us spending too much on shopping or "acting poor" going thrift shopping, and (3) they always assume we're drinking, rebelling, or doing something generally satanic. - i love my parents but holy shit do they make my brother's life so difficult. - i don't have much time left to spend with him. He is busy with his studies and when he gets his license, he is set to leave for work and study in Canada. I have 5 years tops, kasi nagmamadali syang makaalis and he's so smart I know he'll get his license right away. - i have to do this as soon as I can. He's been talking to me about some serious suicidal thoughts. I can't lose him.
I already tried asking my friends for advice. They have none, other than moving out as soon as possible.

Tldr,, i need help planning a gift or method of celebration meaningful and fancy enough for my brother, preferably within June or before he goes overseas.

Spoilers ahead, so read at your own risk.
We open on a crazy windstorm, where our titular fairy is blowing through it and lands on Strawberry's window. Strawberry lets her in, and Ginger's also there for some reason. They're the only two humans from the main cast that are in this episode. There are certain episodes in later seasons that make me think that there was more variance in the VA's schedules, so the writers and producers had to choose which characters to follow based on who was available. Anyway, Sherry tells them about her troubles. She's having trouble with impressing the fairy queen. Sherry is full of doubt, and convinced that she can't do anything right. While being blown off course, Sherry had noticed that a flood was underway, so she has to warn the kingdom. Strawberry convinces Ginger to help Sherry. We cut to some time later when the storm has stopped. Sherry leads the girls and the pets to her homeland (yet another episode where Apple conveniently doesn't exist, so Strawberry doesn’t have to worry about babysitting arrangements). Per Strawberry's encouragement, Sherry practices speaking to a hummingbird in order to get directions. They climb a mountain, and the wind comes back, so they have to hide out in a cave. Everyone must be freezing up there, but that's not acknowledged. Ginger builds a sled to help get them where they need to go, but she forgot to include brakes. After crashing, Strawberry and Ginger shrink (and their voices go high pitched like they sucked some helium) bc fairy magic or something like that. Then, we meet a higher up in the kingdom, Periwinkle, who is tough on Sherry. She's pissed with Sherry for bringing outsiders and threatens to tell the queen. Strawberry and Ginger convince Sherry to warn the other fairies about the incoming flood, but the other fairies are jerks and refuse to listen. Sherry flies away, discouraged. Strawberry and Ginger try to comfort her, but then we get the first song where Sherry claims she ruins everything she touches. Custard sees an invitation to the queen's birthday party. At the party, Sherry doesn't have a gift for the queen, but she tries to warn the guests, with Strawberry's help. Everyone laughs, instead of listening. Ginger and Strawberry console Sherry outside, but then they see the flood. Ginger suggests building a dam, and so they do. Unfortunately, the dam won't hold, so Sherry calls to the hummingbirds for help. They fly to the kingdom, and Periwinkle is a bitch once again, but the queen silences her and lets Sherry speak. She tells them about the flood, and the queen listens. Sherry proves Periwinkle wrong. She shows excellent leadership while everyone worked to prevent the flood. Sherry earns her tiara and approval of the other fairies. We then get the second song recapping the story, and that's how it ends. I don't really have much to say about this one. It's a solid underdog story. Some may complain that we didn't have most of the main cast, but I think that's fine, since we're meeting a whole bunch of new characters. Personally, I like ensemble casts, but I know that having to keep track of a bunch of characters at once can be difficult for many people. I do however wish that these fairies could have been integrated into more episodes besides these. It seems like they have a complex society that would be interesting to explore.
Comment your thoughts below!

Someone claiming to be a cop with Austin PD called me just before 12:30 AM. I couldn't hear him so well. I insisted on him identifying himself before I identified myself. I pointed out how late it was. Guy said PD had a right to call at any time. Pretty certain heard him say something about sex offender registry at some point. After what I thought was evasion, he says he's detective so and so of Austin PD. I admitted it was me. He apologized for waking me up, quickly quotes a Ben White address I never heard of and hangs up. Now I'm worried I gave something way just admitting it was me.
Anyone ever hear of such a thing?

Hey adviceph,
I've been using Android phones for a while now and I'm considering switching to an iPhone for the first time. I've heard many good things about iPhones, but I'm still on the fence. For those of you who have made the switch from Android to iPhone, or those who are already iPhone users since then, was it worth it? What were the pros and cons you experienced?
A bit about me:

• Current Phone: I'm using an old Xiaomi Redmi Note 8 Pro from 2020. While it's still functional, it's showing signs of slowing down and the speaker is almost unusable. It occasionally experiences a black screen, which is concerning. My previous Huawei phone had similar issues.
• Considering an Upgrade: With my birthday coming up, I'm contemplating rewarding myself with a big upgrade to any iPhone 14 or 15 series model. Given the higher price of Apple products, I'm expecting exceptional durability and performance, ensuring that my investment lasts for years to come. However, I'm torn between treating myself and saving money.
• Mindset: My mindset has always been "as long as it works/okay, it is still usable and you don't need a new one." I'm very frugal and prioritize my expenses carefully. However, considering the occasional black screen issue, I'm also considering having a backup phone, especially for banking and other digital transactions, as most require 2FA, OTP, biometrics, and other security measures. (I may be trying to justify this impulsive thought, or finding an excuse to buy one necessarily, lol.)

I'm particularly interested in:

• User Experience: How does iOS compare to Android in terms of usability and overall experience?
• App Quality: Are apps generally better on iPhones? Are there any noticeable differences?
• Battery Life: How does the battery performance compare between the two?
• Ecosystem: If you use other Apple products, how well do they integrate with the iPhone?
• Value for Money: Given the price differences, do you feel the iPhone offers better value?
• Longevity: How long have your iPhones lasted? Do you feel they hold up well over the years?

Any insights, tips, or personal stories would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!

Hi . Have u ever wanted to steal your parents money without them knowing ? well let me tell you to reconsider that coz it is really NOT worth it. Let me share my experience. Well, last time when i was at the age of 10 i have been stealing my father money , $50 each day , n i would tell god that i promise not to steal anymore , but the promise that i made never happened , it was a habit . I would use the money and buy whatever i want like a spoiled child . As I was from a good or better primary school , many students called me wealthy . and they would ask "How did u get so much money ?" n I would reply " I save one " and there that was my reason I have been stealing my parents money for at least 2 years until I was at the age if 11 .
Not so long after , I dropped my phone n it broke. But i was not that sad as i thought my parents can buy me a new one . But to my disappointment they did not and said that they would buy it for me after my PSLE. which was like another year . I was so MAD n SAD . But the year was coming to an end already . And boom I thought of a stupid idea . " why not i steal $200 from my dad wallet and buy a new phone ?" That came up to my mind . And i thought of how genius i was . But i decided to wait after my birthday as i hope they would buy a phone for me . But they did not which mad me even more disappointed . After two days, (I stole $100 each day )I went down to a nearby mall n bought a phone at only $200.( Sam Sung a14) as that was the cheapest.
After that day i felt very guilty. But at the same time i hope my parents would not find out . But eight days later i was in my room using it at a very late night like 3 am and my mother went in and saw it . She gave my a lecture until 6 am and i beg her not to tell my dad . But after 2 months , my mother told my dad without me knowing. So after two days my mother told my dad my father talked to me n i thought i was in big trouble but instead he talked o me nicely and told me that they wanted me to focus n just told me that i was not suppose to do that . After that incident all the burden on my shoulders dropped . I was relief it was settled. So PLZ don't steal your parents money ! You will feel guilty and living in fear everyday .

Inebriated Conversations

After eight long and grueling hours, we began our rapid descent from the heavens. I never really got the: “did it hurt when you fell from heaven” pickup line until we hit the tarmac. The force of the impact nearly knocked my head into the seat in front of me, so fuck yeah, it hurt when I fell from heaven. I’d imagine even Lucifer himself had a softer landing than we did. He also didn’t have to endure the stomach churning and nauseating food that was served on the plane, but I digress, at least we had finally reached our destination. A land not so far away that only varied in appearance, but the truth was this mystical and magical land, deep down, was no different from the place I grew up or attend college. As I waited in purgatory, the security line, I began wondering if I was dreaming. Was I really in London or even a different country for that matter? The line, which seemed so much longer than the European and the U.K., line was filled with fellow Americans. Perhaps they are still acrimonious about us beating them in the Revolutionary War, so they decided that this was ample punishment for our victory. Whatever the case, we finally made it through security, then collected our bags. I saw my relatively new bag with the bowtie on the handle and was relieved that it had not been lost or left in the United States. We met our tour guide, Emma, who at first glance seemed to be very different. She had an unusual hair cut that was much shorter than ones most woman her age would have, but I soon learned that her appearance, much like London’s, would not be any indication of what lies beyond. When we finally escaped from limbo, the airport, we were put on a coach bus, and taken to our hotel. I was exhausted and in need of a shower, but all I could do was drop my luggage off, then swiftly return to the lobby. As we stood outside in the crisp, refreshing air, we were handed our subway passes, or as they say, “tube passes.” We followed our guide, Emma, on a short walk to the underground. When our group finally descended the stairs and made our way to the map, a map Virgil couldn’t even navigate, we began our journey that involved the same punishment as those afforded to people in the eighth level of hell. We walked endlessly, 10.6 miles, and viewed the most popular tourist attractions London had to offer. I was surrounded by beautiful statues, fantastic architecture, and attractive people whose dialect could captivate almost anyone. At first, like everyone else, I was completely and utterly captivated by it all, because it was a completely different world. Our group finished the day with a mile and a half walk to the Globe Theatre, where we saw Shakespeare’s play, Comedy of Errors. My fellow students and I stood, as our professors sat comfortably watching the play. During the production, all I could think about was my numb legs and my aching feet. I tried drowning the pain with a few glasses of overly priced and nasty wines, but my attempt was to no avail. For once in my life, I knew what it was like to experience actual physical agony, not just the tedious and never-ending emotional kind. It wasn’t the lake of fire or some frozen wasteland, but that shit was still excruciating. After the play, we struggled to find a new passageway to the hot and crowded underworld, the tube, but luckily, I had service on my phone, so we found it. We finally made it back to the hotel around eleven in the evening. After a long day of flying and an excess of walking, I had never been as excited as I was to climb into a bed that was, quite frankly, too small for my six-foot-five physique. To anyone reading this, don’t worry, I’m not planning on giving a day to day synopsis of what I saw while I was abroad, because the sights aren’t what truly matter. I mean, I could just rant about Buckingham Palace and its beauty, Windsor Castle and its enormous layout, the Tower of London and its history, the Natural History Museum and its priceless artifacts, Stratford upon Avon and Shakespeare’s life, Oxford and it’s impressive library, Cornwall and its tranquil beaches, the Minack Theatre and its sublimity, or the Ashmolean Museum and its Jeff Koons exhibition, but that shit has no genuine meaning to it. I’m not going to waste your time by writing about some tourist sites that you could see in almost any travel magazine about the U.K., so if that’s what you are looking for stop reading. I suggest you pick up a travel magazine and read it until you are content, but if you want to read something real, then I suggest you continue. The reality is, the things I’ll take from this trip are the inebriated conversations I had with others. I not only gave these people advice about their lives; I learned something new about my own. I, ***** *******, am the Barstool Prophet, who descended from the heavens prepared to spout wisdom and retardation. Before I divulge the serious and deep conversations I experienced abroad, I want to let you know that the other person and I were under the influence of alcohol. I know what you are thinking, but alcohol has been a part of human culture since 7,000 B.C.; to put that into perspective, man invented alcohol before the wheel. From what I've seen in my lifetime some people drink to forget, some drink to remember, some drink to punish themselves, and some drink to converse with others. I fall into the latter category, but while I was in the U.K., I encountered people whose purpose for drinking was similar to mine as well as people that would fall in the other categories. I never really got the saying, "It's better to be a glass half full person, than a glass half empty person." I get the whole positivity aspect of the saying; however, I'd trust a "glass half empty person" far more, because they'd just order another drink. I am in no way trying to promote alcoholism; in reality, I am just trying to explain how alcohol can fuel an in-depth conversation. The Latin proverb "In Vino Veritas" states that "In Wine there is Truth"; wiser words have never been spoken. Alcohol allows people to speak their hidden thoughts and desires, especially to a stranger like me. 

Emma

As I stated earlier, Emma was our tour guide, who sported a relatively short and somewhat masculine haircut. Luckily, I had consumed enough alcohol at the time of her arrival to ask her why she chose that specific style. After giving me a vague: “because I like it” response, she clutched her glass of wine and forced it down. We talked about her occupation and how lonely traveling could get, but she seemed like she was familiar with the feeling of loneliness. She asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up, and I said, “I want to be a lawyer.” Emma slammed her glass down and began to laugh hysterically; she said, “Seriously?” I found her response quite peculiar until she revealed that her ex-husband was a lawyer. He was devoted to his job and always worked long hours, which did not bother her, at first. I surmise that his lack of interest in her is what led to their separation. After a long moment of silence, I gulped my drink down and gained the courage to ask: “do you think the relationship you had with him prepared you for this job?” She paused and began to think intently. She took a sip of her wine, laughed, and said, “I guess so, that’s one positive thing I got out of the relationship.” The chat continued with talk of food, politics, weather, and other small-talk topics, but then we somehow made it back to her haircut. Emma told me that she was bi-sexual, which, despite the tell-tell signs in her appearance, isn’t something she shares with most people. I told her that homophobia and racism is a major part of the culture that I grew up in, which surprised her. She couldn’t comprehend how someone with that upbringing could be so openminded. I responded with one word and one word only, “Self-Awareness.” I came to the realization that in life people are consciously and unconsciously molded by those around them, but at the end of the day, it is their choice to decide who they are and what they believe. Emma’s marriage may not have been picture perfect, but she was still able to take something positive from it. As much as we don’t want to admit it, even the worst of our relationships impact us in a positive way. 

Phillip Goldsmith

Before I get into this incredibly intense and somewhat depressing story, I’d like to describe its setting. I was sitting on a red velvet couch, drinking Jack Daniels Honey in a tall glass with one ice cube. I know what you are thinking, but I was not in a strip club. Our hotel’s game room/ bar area looked like an American strip club, not that I’ve ever been in one. Like seriously, if a few poles and dancers were added, I’d feel like I was at the Red Carpet, which is a strip club near where I live, but again, I may or may not have been there. I had finished half my bottle when Phil walked in, and I could immediately tell that he was hurting on the inside. Excluding dumbass frat guys, not very many people drink vodka straight out of the bottle with the intention of finishing it. He sat next to us, so I reached my hand out and said, “Hey man, what’s your name?” He said, “Hello, I am Phillip Goldsmith.” I responded as anyone would and said, “That’s a badass name!” We talked about life, love, and women as most guys do. We were both close to finishing our bottles when I noticed a tattoo on his arm that said, “Harry.” Who was this Harry? He certainly didn’t strike me as a Royalist, so I knew he didn’t just get the prince’s name on his arm for shits and giggles. I gulped down a few more sips of my drink and slowly placed it back down. I looked him in the eyes and said, “who is Harry?” His response shook every bone in my body to their core. After holding his tears back and ingesting some more of his vodka, Phil looked at me and said that “Harry was his son.” Was? He continued speaking, and I learned that Harry died three days after he was born. That tragic loss would result in a few other loses in his life, his wife, and his faith. Phil told me that he used to go to his grave on his birthday and Christmas, but he couldn’t do it anymore. He didn’t see a point in it any longer. Surprisingly I felt the urge to tell him that “God loved him and that he would see his son again.” I am in no way a prolific believer; I’d probably put myself in the wayward son category. However, something came over me, and I felt like I needed to tell him that. We had both finished our drinks, and as we were saying our goodbyes, he thanked me. I don’t know why, but he did. My encounter with Phil taught me that when you meet someone, you don’t know what they are going through, but through love and compassion, you can have a positive impact on them. 

Lexie

Lexie is a beautiful and intelligent young lady from Kansas City, Missouri. We met and chatted throughout the week because she was a part of our EF group. One night, after Lexie and I had more than our share of wine, we began to talk about our plans for the future. Before I tell this story, you must know, I have the unfortunate handicap of flirtation when I drink, but she was able to move past my impulsive outburst. I think my accidental comments about her beautiful eyes, stunning smile, and cute laugh allowed her to open up to me. Despite what you are thinking, I like to flirt because I enjoy making women smile, I don’t always do it for self-serving reasons. Anyways, as I said, we started discussing our plans for the future, but one can’t divulge their future in an inebriated state without discussing their past. I gave my whole spiel about wanting to be a prosecutor who would later become a congressman, then a Supreme Court or D.C. Circuit Court justice. She said, “Wow! That’s quite the plan. I want to go into Law as well.” I hastily responded by saying, “That’s sexy. I could see it.” We both laughed, but then she said, “I don’t know though, Law School is hard.” She didn’t strike me as a person who couldn’t handle a challenge, so I asked, “Why do you think you wouldn’t excel? You present yourself as someone who does.” She tried not to blush, then sipped her extremely sweet white wine. I know it was sweet because I made the unfortunate decision of trying it; it was so sweet that even a rock would get a hangover from it. Anyways, she started talking about high school and how people thought she was unintelligent. I laughed and thought about how I experienced that very same thing. I said, “Fuck that, screw them. God, high school girls are mean. Do you actually believe that crap?” She giggled and said, “Of course not, but it’s still in the back of my head.” I grabbed another beer from Raj, the bartender at the hotel. Yes, we were on a first name basis; did you expect anything less from the barstool profit? I sat back down and leaned in, intent on getting this point across to Lexie. I sipped my beer, ever so casually, and said, “Listen, we all remember the immature negatives of our high school existence, but this is now. At some point, we have to grow up into the people we want to be, not who everyone tells us to be.” She then asked, “Why are you so wise?” (You are probably thinking “sure she did,” but I swear that is what she said; I’m not a narcissist using creative license to praise myself.) I accredited it to my amazing parents as well as the shitty ex-girlfriends, situations, and friends I had experienced. We continued talking about a lot of random things like abortion, racism in America, and other pseudo-political topics. It was 3 am. when we finally decided it was time to go to bed. I hugged her and told her to use those negative voices as motivation. Again, I was thanked for the conversation, which, at this point, seems to be a normal thing for strangers to do. My conversation with Lexie made me realize that, when we travel, the baggage we carry isn’t only the physical kind. That tedious and deep emotional baggage also comes along for the journey. Most people, who travel somewhere, will lose a physical part of their baggage, like a sock, shirt, or something of that nature. Lexie did something most could not and do not, she left a piece of her emotional baggage, the night I spoke to her in the bar. 

Szymon

Szymon was in the bar area when I got to the hotel. He had a very interesting accent, which was far different from the ones I had heard that week, so I asked, “Where are you from?” He said, in a relatively drunken manner, “I am from Poland. You’re from America, aren’t you.” I responded with a firm: “Yes.” The conversation proceeded with small talk, but as I had a few more beers, the topics shifted to more serious topics. I was recently in a Holocaust history class, so of course, the first serious thing I asked was if he had been to Warsaw to see the Concentration Camps. He paused in silence, so I said, “Talk about hell on Earth, the holocaust was some fucked up shit.” After saying that he seemed to gain the courage to tell me that he was Jewish. He told me about the things his parents endured as children and how his grandfather had died in a concentration camp. He told me how he had rejected his faith after hearing these horrible stories. He said to me, “What could faith do for someone. The Jews have been persecuted countless times for it.” I understood where he was coming from, but at the same time, I didn’t. He had real reasons for his existential doubt, and I truly could not say the same. I got a shot of vodka from Raj; threw it back, and said, “Our faith shapes our decisions in life, even if we tell ourselves it doesn’t.” He sat pondering my words, but he seemed bored of the discussions about faith. I quickly changed the subject and asked him, “Why are you in London?” I learned that he travels all over continental Europe cleaning asbestos out of old buildings. I responded as any young person would and said, “that’s cool. I’d love to travel all over Europe.” He said, “it might be for a young single guy, but I hardly see my kids. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if my wife cheated on me.” I couldn’t believe he would say something that personal, but then again, that’s what alcohol does. I suggested that he quit the job and find one closer to home. He laughed and said, “Ugh… you sound like my wife right now.” I bought him another beer and said, “maybe you should listen to her.” He looked at me and said, “maybe you are right ha-ha.” My conversation with Szymon taught me that it doesn’t matter how much money you make or how many places you get to travel on the company’s dime. What matters in life is family and the ones you love. By the time we stopped talking, I could hardly understand him, but he shook my hand and said, “have fun in London.” I laughed and said, “I will, call your wife tonight and tell her you love her.” He smiled and nodded, assuring me he would. It was time to leave, so I packed my things and got ready to go to the airport. I finally boarded my fiery chariot that would bring me back to the heavens. I forced down a few shots of Jack Daniels, closed my eyes, and wondered if the Barstool Prophet would have a second coming. Would I ever return to this amazing city and spout words of wisdom and retardation? Would I ever drink two whole liters of cider and wake up with a black eye? Well, that one is a definite no, but so many questions are left unanswered. Did I actually impact those that I talked to? Did they even remember the conversation? As much as I want to believe I did, I’ll never know. We don’t know what this life holds or what our encounters with strangers will yield; all we can do is give it our best shot and live like we are dying… (Que inspiring music). 

Let me know if the foundation of this sardonic and surface level literature reference writing has potential… first ever post!

He was walking into the kitchen from hall and his sister was bent over and he grabbed her hips and touched her but and kinda trusted her. She's wearing black sweat pants I was wearing jeans I was in the same room standing right in front of him looking at him bc I was about to ask him a question
He also called his sister his girlfriend when the ball was next to her "The ball is next to my girlfriend" I'm on the completely different side of the room and sitting next to him
I dont think Being drunk is an excuse
He also smacked his other sister's butt as she walked by I am sitting not even a foot away from where he's standing, she was also wearing black leggings
They are both in their 20s And this was on his 18th birthday party
When I tried talking to him about it I cried alot it really felt like I had just been cheated on right infront of my eyes. He used the excuse that he was drunk and thought it was me. And when I said anything about cheating, he said it wasn't cheating bc he was in his own house and they are his sisters so it doesn't count
We've been in a relationship for a year and a half
It's been about 3 weeks since this happened and I still think about it everyday and I have sm anxiety when he goes out drinking bc what if he does it again with not his sister and I never find out, I feel like I have to be with him 24/7 while he's drinking and when he's not. I now have this huge anxiety that every time he gets drunk thar he's going to cheat.
What should I do and what would you do in this situation? I don't think I could ever leave him.

I tested positive at the doctor yesterday but it’s Day 4 of symptoms… day 3 with a fever. I HAVE HAD A WEEK FROM HELL!
Last weekend was my 4 year old daughter’s birthday. I ran around like a crazy person and barely drank any fluids and held my pee all day. Well the next day.. Sunday I got a raging UTI. I go to urgent care and get put on antibiotics. Later that same evening my period started. I worked a crazy busy double shift at my bar on Monday fighting a uti and having a period. Tuesday I worked an unplanned double shift at my other bar. I decided to take Wednesday off because I was scheduled to have oral surgery the next day and we were going to a baseball game Wednesday night. Wednesday I have this tight feeling in my chest like I breathed in a bunch of dust or something. And I kinda had a dry cough. I thought it might have been side effects of the macrobid I was prescribed so I freaked out and stopped taking it. We go to the baseball game and it was a cold rainy night. The chest tightness persisted and got worse as the night went on. Thursday I woke up early because I was very scared of the apicoectomy I was supposed to have at 8 am. I felt pretty shitty and decided I was gonna post pone the surgery. I still showed up at the office and the nurse seemed down to still do the procedure even though I told her I felt bad. Thankfully the Endodontist wanted no part of it and told me to reschedule. I stopped by target and got some Gatorade and Covid tests. Covid test was negative. My MIL took my daughter and I took a nap. Woke up with a fever. Things went really downhill from there. My whole body started to ache and I had to lay next to a bowl because I felt so nauseous. I fell asleep again and woke up boiling hot and my heart racing. The body aches were unbearable. My husband was taking his final test before graduation the next day so I wasn’t trying to bother him too much but he was really worried about me. My MIL brings my daughter home because she wants to come home. She tells me she can come pick her back up tomorrow after her 11 am appt. At this point didn’t know if I was sick with something or maybe my uti was coming back with a vengeance and affecting my whole body. If my daughter wouldn’t have been home I probably would have made my husband take me to the hospital.
I wake up the next morning feeling worse than ever. I call my mom and beg her to come over. I ask her if she will take me to my urgent care appointment. I had no idea when husband was gonna be done at school and I just didn’t have the strength to care for my daughter. She comes over and I literally just cry miserably. My MIL comes and takes my daughter and my husband gets home soon after. My mom literally had to help me get dressed. She leaves and my husband takes me to urgent care. Just walking in the door and signing in almost kills me. I redo a UA which turned out being fine. They test for Covid flu and strep. Covid comes back positive. Now come to find out 4 people at my job I worked on Monday are all Covid positive. I was supposed to go to my cousins wedding today but that definitely wasn’t gonna happen. I also am so glad I decided to not want to get my oral surgery on Thursday. I can’t imagine having my jaw bone drilled on and stitches in my mouth while feeling this sick with Covid!!! My god. I finally just took a shower and I seriously thought my legs were gonna buckle underneath me. I swear they were a little shakey. I get so dizzy and weak feeling just standing up. I keep getting really hot and sweaty. My body aches are gone but now it’s like a weird soreness. Maybe from laying around too much I don’t know. Anywho I just wanted to vent about how awful a UTI / period / covid / attempted dental surgery all in one week is.

He was walking into the kitchen from hall and his sister was bent over and he grabbed her hips and touched her but and kinda trusted her. She's wearing black sweat pants I was wearing jeans I was in the same room standing right in front of him looking at him bc I was about to ask him a question
He also called his sister his girlfriend when the ball was next to her "The ball is next to my girlfriend" I'm on the completely different side of the room and sitting next to him
I dont think Being drunk is an excuse
He also smacked his other sister's butt as she walked by I am sitting not even a foot away from where he's standing, she was also wearing black leggings
They are both in their 20s And this was on his 18th birthday party
When I tried talking to him about it I cried alot it really felt like I had just been cheated on right infront of my eyes. He used the excuse that he was drunk and thought it was me. And when I said anything about cheating, he said it wasn't cheating bc he was in his own house and they are his sisters so it doesn't count
We've been in a relationship for a year and a half
It's been about 3 weeks since this happened and I still think about it everyday and I have sm anxiety when he goes out drinking bc what if he does it again with not his sister and I never find out, I feel like I have to be with him 24/7 while he's drinking and when he's not. I now have this huge anxiety that every time he gets drunk thar he's going to cheat.
What should I do and what would you do in this situation? I don't think I could ever leave him.

My husband and I have been married for almost 4 years and we have a 3 year old son. I'm very extroverted and have a lot of friends while my husband is very introverted and only has 3 friends who all happen to be female. Over the past year and a half, he got very close to one of them but I never put the kibosh on it because he has so few friends. Just at the beginning of May he had a couple nights where he did not come home because he was at her house. On the second night that he did not come home, I waited up for him and confronted him when he came in the front door. I gave him the ultimatum to either stop talking to her or to leave. At first he decided to stop talking to her and to work on our relationship. However, after a few days, he decided it wasn't worth it after we had done a silly marriage workbook and I just ended up asking him about accountability. I wanted to know what kept him from doing this again or what kept him from abandoning me when something more so severe in my life may be going on like ill physical or mental health. He has also done other things like spend $500 on a stripper on my last birthday when he was on a work trip out of town, and then after I had my son he racked up more than $800 in bills on only fans. He thought about it for a moment and told me that he was only going to hurt me again and again, and that there was no reason to try. I ended up convincing him to stay and that it would be worth trying for to keep stuff together for our family.
However, a couple days later I caught him messaging her again. I confronted him and he told me that while he loved me, he wasn't romantically in love with me. That I wasn't meeting his needs and I didn't understand him like she did. At this point we were still having sex at least twice a week. I helped him get his green card. I helped him get his license back. I bought him a new car every time he wrecked one. And I just helped him get into college. It was also smoking anywhere from 100 to $300 worth of weed every week, and I was just taking it on the chin and figuring out our finances around it. At this point, I just asked him to leave. He cried and moaned while I made him pack a bag, and was upset that I was asking him to leave which would prevent him from being there for our son. However, I told him if he remained I wouldn't be able to be there for our son, and that's what mattered the most to me.
He ended up leaving and staying with his stepdad. According to his mother and his sister, he's been taking money from his dad because he said I was still receiving his paychecks (which I am not) and that he has been into his dad's medical cabinet to try to take painkillers and his dad's diabetic needles. The girl that he is hooking up with has mental health issues and with drug usage. He also has prior issues with drug usage. He's also been switched psych medications four times in the past year.
At one point he offered to reconcile and just get to come home by stopping seeing her. But I told him that there was way more that we would need to work on before he could come home. He ended up going back to her and then trying to come back to me. And then just yo-yoing between the two of us for several weeks before he eventually decided to just pick her. He's now trying to blame the end of our marriage on me for being a "mean bitch who is no fun" and that I'm not accountable for my actions in ending this. However, I had overlooked so much of his previous bad behavior to remain in a relationship with him so my son would have a father. I tried to get him to help me understand what I had done wrong, and he told me that I was impossible to communicate with which is why he never communicated his needs to me.
He has also told me that he doesn't want any more kids, and that he doesn't believe in God. He told me that co-parenting our son will be fine, even though I've told him how much my parents divorce at a similar age deeply ended up wounding me as a child. He thinks just because he's going to be around some. It's better than his father who wasn't around at all. However, I told him sometimes it's more painful to have your dad two cities away living a life with a new family than it is to have an immovable image completely gone from your life.
He talks about co-parenting our son, but he is only seeing him a handful of times in the month that he's been gone. Most of those occasions have been at my suggestion and I have also been present. He's also stood us up once because he told me he had gone to the woods to contemplate suicide instead of meeting up with us. He doesn't call our son every night even though a FaceTime call with him would probably only last like 2 to 5 minutes. He's only sent me $320 to deal with expenses in the month that he has been gone along with getting our son a haircut. At each of these meetings he starts off by being horrible to me and rude. By the end, he's softened and does whatever he can to spend as much time with me and my son before he leaves. Even after my son goes to bed he wants to hang out and smoke a joint together. However, this last time he came to drop our son off, he got really sore at me because one of our mutual friends had sent him pictures of a conversation I had with them. In the conversation, I had Said that my husband and this girl are in a codependent cabal, and the only thing that they have in common are poor morals and bad teeth. He was upset by that but all of it was true. Now he refuses to see me or communicate with me. He told me that he wants to be friends but I can't say mean stuff like that. However, he says a bunch of mean things to me all the time about me being a horrible wife and how perfect this new woman is. Both of us want to be friends for the benefit of our son, but I just don't think I have it in me. He always says things to me to make me feel low, and he acts like I should just be over it even though it hasn't even been a month yet.
My life has completely changed and I feel so much grief over the life I thought I had, the partner I thought I had, and the future that I thought I had. It feels like a devil has crawled into his skin and is walking around pretending to be him. I feel so much resentment being left to pick up the pieces of our life and to hold everything together for our son. He gets to go run away and fuck someone new, while I have to be strong and stoic. I don't understand how I can be friends with someone who's hurt me so much and has cared so little. He's going to miss out on so much of our son's life and he doesn't even care. He's just convinced himself that life with me would be miserable. Even though we had so many good times together, and I had always tried my hardest to make him happy and to make sure our family's needs were met. He didn't even want to go to therapy and he didn't even want to try to start things over by dating me again. I'm just so disappointed.
I don't know where to go from here. I am definitely talking to a divorce lawyer. I worry about whether or not he's using drugs, and whether or not he'd be safe around our son. I definitely don't want this woman around our son and he doesn't see the big deal with it. Should I just cut him out of my life? Should I cut him out of my son's life? Should I try to be friends with him? It's all so hard because it's just all so shocking and I still love him. Part of me wants to reconcile but also part of me is starting to realize how easy my life is without him around. He's also also kept trying to make reconciliation not an option. What should I do?

.My boyfriend (45M) and I (30F) went out for a very nice dinner for his birthday. Everything was going swimmingly, he told me how much he loved me, etc. On the uber ride home, I saw him looking at texts from a name I see that calls him frequently, but he'll ignore the call if I am around. I see him texting that name, and if I go over to him, he quickly exits out the messaging app. I had my suspicions that it was this girl we both worked with--- about a year ago, his phone rang at about 9:30 PM. He was in the bathroom. I leaned over to see whose phone was ringing as both were charging next to one another, and it was his. No biggie. Told him, "hey, your phone was ringing" when he came back. He freaked out, asked me why I was going through his phone (I didn't, I merely looked over the edge of the bed to see if it was my phone or his), I explained this to him. He immediately said "Oh it was Jim (his friend), Jim told me he'd call me" after his outburst (I knew it wasn't Jim because Jim is in his phone as Jim and not the obscure name I saw, as I've been around when Jim calls). One day when I was in his car, his phone rang via Bluetooth and I said "oh you can answer" and he said "I don't know who's number that is". The number looked familiar, so I memorized it in my head, wrote it down on my phone. I googled it, BINGO, the woman we used to both work with (we got together after we both left our company, this woman left about a year before we both did). So I had my suspicions this was who he was being weird about. I saw the same behaviors going on with that name in his phone for the next few months. About two months ago, I went to dinner with two old co-workers. They brought up that woman, and said another co-worker had said she had a drug addiction and lost her job. I brought it up to my boyfriend, very nonchalant like, "David and Brittany had told me that Rachel has a drug problem and lost her new job, isn't that crazy? Susan had called them and told them" and he had a weird look on his face, and said "Ehhhhh I don't think so" and I said "oh yeah, you guys still talk, right?" and he said "I haven't talked to her in a long time, so maybe David and Brittany are right." So I kept that in my back pocket, watching his behaviors with the texting the unknown name on his phone, which continued on: hiding the phone when texting that number whenever I got close to him.TODAY: Nice dinner, great time. In the uber back. I look over. He's looking at a photo of Rachel, the girl who I believed he was texting. I look away, and after about two minutes he goes something is wrong, what's wrong. I was very calm and said:"I looked over and saw a picture of Rachel on your phone. Not a big deal, but what sticks out to me is that when I brought up what David and Brittany said a couple months ago, you had said you hadn't talked to her in a long time...so can you help me understand why you may have said that?"He then said "It was a group text, we are in a group text so I never spoke to her directly." I then said "No, I saw that it was just a singular text-- the name Zeke---and not a group text."He was silent the whole ride back. When we got home, I asked him again, and he lashed out."you don't even know what was going on, both Susan and Rachel wanted me and I was in the middle. and David wanted Rachel but Rachel wanted me---you have no idea what was going on. Also, I knew that she didn't lose her job because Michael (another ex coworker) ran into her at her new job and took a photo with her. And sent in our group text. And I said I hadn't talked to her in a long time because I only text with her, not talk. I don't want to be with you any more, give me a week and I'll be out of here."None of this made any sense, so I said so. He freaked out and started yelling at me, and he didn't want to be around me or with me, and he'd be out in a week. I then said OK, if you don't want to be with me, you can leave now. And he did.I am trying to understand what just happened-- I am assuming he has been cheating on me with her, maybe not physically but emotionally--so reddit, your thoughts? Was I fair in my suspicions and my confrontation--- is he cheating on me?

I’m not going to lie, I used to have no faith in dating apps. I thought that all the people I found on Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble were all people I could never click with in real life. But then I did it. My friend and I took the jump. We downloaded a dating app and tried to come up with funny answers to Hinge prompts to make my profile the best it could be. What started off as a joke, slowly turned into something that made us excited. We looked forward to showing each other the guys we matched with and the conversations that were started.
We giggled as we made each other’s accounts, choosing the hottest pictures of us and creating the most ridiculous responses to the Hinge prompts that would be on our profiles. We hoped to find someone who could match our silly energy and find someone that we could be authentic with: We wanted to find someone who would encourage us to delete the app.
Hinge prompts are like interview-based questions that make things a little more interesting than a generic bio with your name and age. All prompts have a 150-character limit so the answers should be short and clever. You can even use a voice prompt but the point is to show off what makes you, you: uniqueness is key. So, if you’re looking to beef up your profile, here are 36 Hinge prompt answers to add to your profile.
Oh, and PS, some of these are actually from my Hinge feed and are the perfect way to get into someone’s DMs. Jussayin’.
“Dating me is like…”
Be transparent and give a glimpse into what it is like to be with you.
“Reading a really good book…but you’re dyslexic.”
“Having TSA Pre-Check.”
“You know that feeling of closing dozens of Chrome tabs after finishing your last final before a holiday.”
“Finding a pair of jeans that fit perfectly on the first try.”
“My Most Irrational Fear”
From heights to clowns, this is a great place to talk about your fears.
“Finding out I’m allergic to food while eating it.”
“Fear itself?”
“You ignoring my profile.”
“Swallowing seeds because I was told a plant would sprout in my belly.”
“Green Flags I look for…”
Get a little deeper about your type. What are you looking for? Be open and honest.
“Using a fork properly, rather than stabbing at your food”
“Being good with kids.”
“Survival skills. If we ever get stranded on a desert island, you should know what to do.”
“Always has room for dessert.”
“A Shower Thought I Recently Had…”
This prompt is a great way to show off your humor. Be creative with this.
“Is Punxsutawney Phil emotionally okay?”
“It’s illegal to own one guinea pig in Switzerland because they get lonely.”
“Water is not wet.”
“Aliens invaded the moon on July 20th, 1969.”
“We’re the Same Type of Weird If…”
This is definitely a more lighthearted prompt. Pick something that is totally unique about yourself.
“You enjoy the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving, too.”
“You can eat pickles at any time of the day.”
“You still play with Legos.”
“You pour the milk before the cereal.”
“First Round Is on Me If…”
Be assertive! Skip the small talk and invite your match to drinks. Don’t be super easy though. Pose a challenge.
“You can beat me at bowling. I’ll accept Wii Bowling.”
“You can beat me at today’s Wordle.”
“You can quote [movie].”
“If you can beat an escape room.”
“Unusual Skills”
Showcase some niche interests. Anything that comes with a story is perfect if you want to keep the convo going.
“Belly dancing.”
“I can catch basically any reptile.”
“Notorious alarm setter who can still sleep past their alarm.”
“I can tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue.”
“Let’s Debate About…”
Controversial topics can get the ball rolling. This could be serious or maybe something flirty.
“Pineapple on pizza?”
“Brunch should never be before 1 p.m.”
“It’s acceptable to eat a tomato like how you eat an apple.”
“A morning person can never be trusted.”
“Together, We Could…”
Outline a dream date! Highlight your favorite ways to get to know someone
“Cook a nice dish and drink a bottle of wine.”
“Rule the world.”
“Be like when oxygen and magnesium get together… because people will be saying OMg.”
“Backpack our way through Europe: Paris, Florence, and Madrid are on my bucket list.”
Overall, Hinge prompts allow you to showcase yourself, your passions, and what you are looking for. Successful prompt responses should show a bit of your humor and vulnerability. Don’t be afraid to be genuine. These are the perfect way to kick-start conversations with matches. Dig deep. Good luck!

I (29F) was in a 7/8month relationship last year and I'm just trying to process what the heck happened bc he (25M) made it seem like I'm the asshole and I'd like to know if I am, so I can work on it and not carry it over to future relationships.
It started with a reckless night. I'm studying overseas and he and I met on a d&d discord server. He happened to live where I was going so we planned to meet and he offered to help me with my first day of getting stuff done. We'd been close friends by the 5th month of me being there. I had just ended an online relationship that was overwhelming me and my family was coming to visit so I took him on a fancy night out where I paid as like a thank you in advance for driving me and my family around when they visit thing. After dinner we went to his place and I - now recognise as mistakenly - allowed uh intimate activity bc I was vulnerable and he made the first move. And it just kept happening.
Eventually, he started to ask for more despite me saying that I didn't think I was ready for a relationship. And he pulled out an ultimatum - relationship or nothing. I was torn bc at that point he was my best friend, my closest friend, in a country where I had no family. So I gave in and agreed. He said I have to be willing to do the work on myself and our relationship bc I have a lot of issues. So I promised that I would put in the effort to work on myself and be better.
Now in retrospect, I recognize I was afraid of being abandoned. But at the time, I thought myself in love, and that he cared about my wellbeing so deeply. I mean, he did spend hours listening to me talk about all the pain and trauma I'd experienced. So he must have truly wanted me to heal.
But once we got together, we stopped going on dates. We'd hang out at his place, occasionally meet his friends. I usually didn't go out bc I'm more of a homebody - I enjoyed my private space and doing my solo things. Then things started to bother me.
Like the state of his home - you could barely see the floor, the kitchen was a disaster area. And he didn't even have a proper bed. But I'd acquiesce and make a random comment (not often, just sporadically).
I personally just don't drink bc I don't enjoy it like most people do and I don't enjoy taking care of people who are super drunk (I'll do it anyway bc no one else does it but it actually really bothers me and I kinda hate it)
I like PDA but I don't like extreme proclamations back to back to back.
My ex used to get drunk around his friends and throw affection my way. He had no control over his liquor and every 5 mins would yell out that he loves me. Then he'd get very clingy bc I get uncomfortable in big groups sometimes and I try to hide or get some space. I don't like being touched or kissed by someone who's drunk (or when I'm pissed at someone) and that always bothered him. The overaffection was just overwhelming and he had a body odour thing every time he drank which just made it worse bc my nose is sensitive. It just brewed like a sense of resentment bc I'd communicate it to him and he'd just claim I'm trying to control him but honestly, I'm just trying to tell you that it doesn't make me feel good and maybe it can be a thing you do without me around.
And everything started piling up and I was pissed but I wasn't ready to talk about it bc I know I was overwhelmed and I just needed to sort through the things to try and give myself perspective and decide if I was overreacting or if I had legitimate things to be mad about. But he kept badgering me over and over and over while I was still mad. And I tried to not explode (successfully) but he started getting mad at me when I had explicitly told him I'm not ready to talk about it.
(I can't remember specifically what happened after, but we had a big fight. A very big fight. And he wanted to pull the plug. All because I wasn't ready to talk about it bc I didn't want to fight over what could potentially be nothing)
Eventually, he forgave me when I apologized for... well I don't remember what I apologized for. And we were good. I made sure to cook food that he could pack and take to work if he was staying over. Helped him plan some finances. We talked about how the next year or so would go. I had a little mental health struggle but he urged me to see a doctor and such and asked me to get on birth control.
There was then, an incident, totally not his fault. We both got carried away. I had to be celibate for a month and we got heated and when he almost broke the celibacy, I had a breakdown. I didnt know that would be a trigger, but he went on a shame spiral and started getting upset with himself so I consoled him. And we were okay. Didn't really speak about it again after that.
He had arranged for me to join an in person d&d campaign with his friends and I had a hard time keeping up bc I had classes and assignments so I had to miss a few sessions. When I got there and played a session, I did something wrong and everyone - including him - were upset with me. I apologised for it and said I wouldn't repeat that. Two weeks later, we had the next session and his friends kept making comments about the previous session throughout the 4 hours we were playing and... it started to get to me. I lashed out and told them to build a bridge and get over it.
When my ex was dropping me home, I expressed that I didn't like being treated like that, my friends don't do that to me. And he got mad at me bc he said and I quote "You're not taking responsibility for what you did. They've made fun of so many embarrassing things I've done, you don't see me getting affected by it". I didnt immediately respond (also bc I don't remember what I said) I do remember thinking "You can accept that kind of abuse from your friends if you want to, it doesn't mean I have to". When I got out of the car, I just said I am upset but I love you and I'm really tired. I didnt give him a kiss that night.
(For context, that was a Friday night. He had spent the entire week at my place bc he was sick and didn't want to be alone so I was taking care of him and feeding him)
On Saturday (3 days before my lease ended and we'd agreed I would move in with him temporarily), he asked how my house hunting was going. I told him the market is crappy rn and I can't find a decent place but I'm trying to. He said you really need to focus on that right now. I told him I am and I'll update you if there's a place, I love you. And he couldn't say it back so he said we need to talk.
He said I told many small white lies (example: I cut my finger, I ask for a tissue - bc bleeding - he asks if I'm bleeding, I say no) and it was overwhelming him and exhausting him. He said he knew its bc of how I grew up but he had mentioned it before (I don't remember if he did but he could have and I forgot) and I didn't work on it like I was supposed to.
He said ( based on the argument on Friday about the d&d game ) that I didn't take accountability for my actions and he couldn't trust me bc it showed that I was an untrustworthy person.
I said let's sit together and talk about this, these are things I can work on, we can tackle them as a couple and talk through them.
He then said I just don't love you anymore. I've talked to my family and friends and I think I mistook what I felt for you and thought it was love.
I tried to fight for him but I knew that I can't make someone love me so I was heartbroken, almost homeless (if not for some friends that had a spare room) and I had an exam in 2 weeks.
He said there's no good time to break up with someone and I didnt wanna drag it out (which I suppose was his form of mercy)
Its taken a year to process... for me bc he blocked me from everything after I returned his stuff. And it made me feel like the asshole? Then I rationalised that I did everything I possibly could, but did I? Maybe I didn't address his needs well enough? Maybe I didn't listen to his concerns enough? Maybe there's more I could have done to make him feel secure or sure? Maybe I was too headstrong and it overshadowed him?
I keep going round and round about it in my head. My therapist says it wasn't a loving and caring relationship. But like I remember a time when it was? But I also remember feeling so exhausted by it. Was it my fault? Am I the asshole? What could I have done better?

I 21F, have BPD (what most of yall are here for) Despite everything, Im pretty self aware which can help me to not explode from the sheer amount of overwhelming emotions I deal with on a day to day basis. I try my best to be a good partner, but with every couple sometime my bf and I fight. This is just a brief overview before I dive into things.
Today, I came home early from work only to see my boyfriend left his computer open on a document (he normally turns off his computer right away when Im home, and neither of us expected me to come home early) I’ll admit I got a bit curious and read over some. It seemed to be some kind of journal he kept for himself, but after a minute of scrolling I realized most of the text was about me and our fights over the past few months. None of it was positive, most of it just contained rants about things he couldn’t stand about me, or what our fights consisted of. He’s always confused me when we fight, as I quite literally can’t wrap my mind around what he’s saying. He claims to be on both of our sides, but to me it seems like he can never admit when he’s in the wrong. (Ex. He called me annoying a few days ago bc im picky with food, and it upset me but I simply went into the other room to try and decompress. But instead of apologizing, he walked in and simply tried to give me a kiss. We got into a disagreement because he knew why I was upset, but I had to ask for an apology anyway. It was frustrating to me because I felt like I clearly had a reason to deserve an apology, but he just claimed that I just “didnt understand his side” when I feel like there are no sides. It should have just been “im sorry for calling you annoying. I wont do it again.” And it could have ended there.) Behavior like this is very consistent, and it feels like to me Im always held to a position where I need to apologize and take accountability for my actions, but I feel like Im not really given that same respect when he hurts my feelings.
While most of his texts were just rambles and logic I couldnt really make much sense of, I ran across a few lines that were very alarming to me. I took a photo so I could quote it.
“I dont want to be sexist, and im not, only with her, because honestly shes so mentally fucked up the absolute best thing she could do is just listen to me 100% of the time. I truly have her best interest at heart, I dont want to diminish her freedom or abuse her, or invalidate her feelings, I will 100% voluntarily do that totally on my own but she makes it so difficult by adding her own stupid fucking interpretations and ideas into the mix.”
This really doesnt sound like the person I thought I have been in a relationship, and Im struggling to wrap my mind around what this means. Any thoughts or advise would be a lot of help. I apologize if this post is a jumbled mess. My head is feeling about the same right now.

Im one of those people who like to check people’s birthdays and log them into my online calendar. I’m not into astrology but I’m having second thoughts on that. Every person I’ve met who has been a dick to me or anyone in my vicinity is a Gemini.
Example 1 (I’ll say more in another post) There is this one girl (let’s call her Bethany) who is a straight up narcissist and manipulator that is cunning and two faced. She’s ruined the lives of many people in my school, including my own. One time, she broke into my friend’s house and mentally upset her to the point where she wanted to die (calling her fat, an idiot, and making her feel that she was a bad friend). Then a bunch of other people claimed she was flirting with different men which I eventually saw with my own eyes. Then she wanted me to write her notes for her debate (I left the club and I said no) but she kept harassing me and emotionally blackmailed me which ended up in me helping her. Her excuse for everything is that she doesn’t know how to be friends with people even though she’s being bitchy on purpose and lacks empathy. There are so many other things she’s done that I can’t even keep track of.
Extra:
Most of my classmates want to do some kind of revenge on her. The plan is that we all do something separate and never tell each other so we can avoid snitching. I’ve never done revenge but I’m willing to do it because she has fucked up all of our lives. Is there any ideas I can try without getting caught?

Over the past year, we've had a friend in our group who has simply stopped coming to any events/hangouts. Whenever they were invited, they'd say no. We (as a group) have continued to invite her for over a year, with the expectation she does not come. On the rare occasion they do say yes, they ask if their partner can come, and then proceed to sit in the corner and not talk to anyone but each other, or even leave the room (to go outside and smoke, or chat to each other in someone elses bedroom) for the entire social event. In turn, people have slowly stopped inviting them to things. This person also makes no effort to keep in contact with friends, e.g. no social media, texting, doesn't respond to group chats, nothing; and makes no effort to organise catch-ups and events with others.
In the past few months, I have moved in with this couple in a shared living situation. I am a very social person who makes a conscious effort to maintain my friendships and relationships with others. Therefore, I'm out every weekend going for walks, having coffees, etc., which I would consider to be very normal.
However, since moving in, this friend has started to passively express how they have felt left out. Mostly, this is through a drop in their mood, glares, passive-aggressive comments, and the most confrontational message has been "I have FOMO haha". Yet, I have continued to invite her along to things where it is appropriate, and expressed that they are always welcome and that we (our friends miss them). The vast majority of the time, they will decline this invite and spend time with their partner instead, or attend with their partner and again - not talk to anyone.
The reality is, most people now no longer invite them, and I feel like there is no point in inviting them either. Yet, when I don't, I get passive-aggressive texts, stares, and mopey moods not only from them - but their partner as well - that I have to deal with every day as I live with them.
Not only does it feel like I cannot have my own social life anymore, as when I hang out with individuals I get glares, but the way this person reacts, and then fails to make any changes makes me really not want to spend time with them either.
On the morning of my birthday, I was yelled at by this person and their partner - that I have been "deliberately excluding both the person, ever since moving in". This was triggered by the fact that I was not prepared to change my birthday morning tea to the following day as the main person could not attend due to a shift at their work (which I did not know about), and the fact that their partner was not in the birthday group chat... However, the partner lived at the house, knew about the party, is friendly with a lot of the people coming, so was, of course, invited.
Am I missing something? Am I really "deep down a nasty person" like they said I am? I've always had a really healthy friend group around me, never had any friendship breakups or major share-living arrangement issues; and now I'm being told that I'm a manipulative and nasty person.
My gut reaction is that they are both insecure and have isolated themselves in their relationship, and are only now realizing how isolated they are after having the direct comparison of me (a social person) in their everyday circumference. In turn, they blame it on me instead of acknowledging they've lost contact with everyone in their social circles... But the words they've said were so hurtful that I can't help but doubt this. What are people's thoughts?

Somewhere between 90 and 95% of openers I get are either "hi" or "hey." So literally anything else puts you sonewhere in the top 10%. Even "HEY ASSHOLE! would at least be memorable. So I wouldn't sweat it too much; the bar is set really low.
If you're really insistent, though, it's thd same sort of stuff women want in an opener, just with waaaayyyy less competition. And if you can somehow prove you're not a scammer while you're at it, even better.
The opener I start with is usually something easy to answer and invites a thoughtful response. Such as, "What is your go to karaoke song?" or "What's your favorite thing about living [insert city]"? or "What's your favorite way to spend a Sunday afternoon?"
I usually get the conversation started and then if he doesn't match my energy, I unmatch.
One of my favorite opening lines I got from a guy was “Hi there! Let me know what you think of the following:
A white picket fence house, a couple dogs, some nice cars, maybe a boat for weekend trips to the lake, and we can do that for about 5 years until you get sick of me. After that we divorce, I let you keep everything, and we’ll call it a good time!”
Made me laugh and for being an introvert who struggles immensely with conversation this helped relax me instantly.
The online dating world is vast, with a plethora of apps to choose from. However, according to a study by Statista, one outranks them all when it comes to finding love: Bumble. The app, known for letting women make the first move, has since expanded into a networking platform for building both friendships and professional connections. But if you’re still interested in using Bumble for its original intent, you might be wondering how to go about answering all those Bumble prompts, of which there are over 40 to choose from. Here, we’ve rounded up ten of the best Bumble prompts, plus example answers. So fill out that profile, pick your preferred zodiac sign to date (it’s Pisces, right?) and watch the notifications roll in—before you know it, you’ll be needing a spreadsheet to track all those dates.
How Do You Write a Good Bumble Prompt?
The best way to write a good Bumble prompt response is to be honest, specific and positive, according to experts. If you leave your profile generic (or worse, empty), you’re not giving dates enough information to work with so that they can start a conversation. So, focus on being clear about what you want (without being a negative nelly) and don’t be afraid to throw a little humor in there, too. After all, laugher is proven to help us relax, and when we feel at ease, we’re more comfortable sharing about ourselves and learning about others.
The Best Bumble Prompts and How to Answer Them

1. Perfect First Date...

This Bumble prompt is a great way to let potential matches know what you’re expecting, so be specific. “Drinks” is not going to cut it. Instead, write out a little itinerary—it doesn’t have to be incredibly detailed, but it should give someone an idea of what you enjoy. Maybe it’s a picnic in a park. Perhaps you lean towards the classic dinner and a movie, or you love art museums, comedy clubs and bookstores.
What you can say:
Catching a flick (sci-fi or rom-com) followed by dinner at my favorite Italian restaurant in Los Angeles. If the sky is clear, we’d drive up to Griffith Park and have a little La La Land moment.
Picnic in Central Park and then a ride in a rowboat—you’re doing the rowing, of course. We’d top it off with ice cream and maybe a bookstore jaunt.
We’d eat our way through Smorgasburg in Brooklyn and then sit on the pier looking at the Manhattan skyline as the sun sets.

1. I Get Way too Excited About...

Behavioral scientist and author Logan Ury advises that a successful dating profile makes it easy for someone to start a conversation with you. Use this prompt to talk about something you’re passionate about. Restaurant openings, golf, Bluey, painting, opera, rock climbing, cooking, Paris, Marvel...whatever you can’t stop talking about goes right here. Don’t worry about appealing to the masses—the right person, who might also love these things (or just love how much you love them), will come.
What you can say:
Paris in the springtime. I took a gap year there and love going every April to see the cherry blossoms, and one day I’d love to do a tour through Provence to see the lavender, too.
Rock climbing. I’m at the climbing gym at least twice a week and love going bouldering once a month with my club. If you haven’t seen Free Solo, you’re missing out.
Broadway shows. Every year, my dad and I spend a weekend in NYC marathoning every single musical we can get tickets for. I’ve seen Phantom of the Opera five times and yes, I’m crushed that it’s closing.

1. A Pro and Con of Dating Me...

Stay away from the “beige flags” here. Ury has previously explained that beige flags are clichés, and the whole goal here is to stand out. So be honest and own both your pros and cons, all while finding a way to keep it lighthearted. Debbie-downers aren’t good first impressions.
What you can say:
Pro: I’m a great baker, so you’ll always have fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies. Con: I’m definitely a planner and being spontaneous can be hard, but I’m working on embracing last-minute adventure.
Pro: I’m on the pulse of the restaurant scene and always have great recs. Con: I can’t stand the MCU. (But I’ll make an occasional concession.)
Pro: I’ll never ask you to TikTok dance with me. Con: I can be slow replying to texts—but I’m working on it!

1. A Non-Negotiable...

This Bumble prompt is important because it can be your deal breaker, however, avoid being super negative. We all have our icks, but as dating coach Lindsay O’Brien has told us, you don’t want to spiral on a list of things you don’t want, because it can imply emotional baggage. (That’s not a bad thing and a lot of us have it—it’s just not something you might want to spill in the “handshake” phase of dating.) Use this prompt to reveal qualities, values and even shared dreams/goals you’d like the person to have.
What you can say:
Great communicator.
You like and are conversational about art, books and travel.
You think living abroad for a few years sounds like an ultimate bucket-list adventure.

1. My Real-Life Superpower Is...

This one can be a lighthearted icebreaker or a lean more serious. Whether it’s a quirky talent or your favorite quality about yourself, share it. Just, as noted above, stay away from the clichés.
What you can say:
Making conversation with strangers and putting them at ease.
Cooking for a crowd.
Somehow always managing to win the Broadway lottery.

1. After Work You Can Find Me...

Here’s another Bumble prompt that can show not just your interests but how you spend your time. If you’re a budding cocktail connoisseur, maybe your future date will find you at the latest trendy opening in the city. If you love art, you might be taking advantage of museums’ free admissions nights before heading home. Tell potential matches how you want to spend your time, so you don’t waste time getting to know people who aren’t interested in those things.
What you can say:
Curled in bed with a book—I live for murder mysteries, Jane Austen and fantasy novels.
At a concert; I’m obsessed with alternative rock and country music.
Baking cookies while watching the latest season of The Bachelorette.

1. I Promise I Won’t Judge You If...

Now is not quite the time to get serious with a heavy hitter, so use this prompt to get silly and show your sense of humor, while potentially revealing your own eccentricities in the process.
You totally trip over nothing on the sidewalk, because I do that at least three times a week.
You haven’t read Pride and Prejudice, as long as you promise to watch the Kiera Knightley version with me.
You have zero sense of direction. Me too.

1. Favorite Quality in a Person...

Here’s a chance to cast a reel for the good traits you're looking for. Again, diving deep is key, so try to avoid things like “nice.” A lot of people and things are nice. Elaborate on what you want to see in a nice person.
What you can say:
The way he/she makes eye contact with the people they speak to, making them feel seen and heard.
Remembering important dates—birthdays, anniversaries—and celebrating them.
Prioritizing others’ needs first, while still having healthy boundaries.

1. I’m a Great Plus One Because...

A lot of your answers to Bumble prompts will be serious. This one is a chance to be less so. Flaunt your funnier side and tell them why taking you to a company party, wedding, family or other social event will be a good time.
What you can say:
I’ll totally stick by you if you’re the wallflower.
I can talk about literally any subject.
My dance moves can’t be beat.

1. A Review from a Friend...

We want to know what other people think, so now’s the time to reel in a friend and have them give you a review. It’s always interesting to see how we are perceived by others, and as your profile is filled with prompts that you’ve answered from your own perspective, calling in a review will give potential matches a look into who you are that highlights qualities you may have glossed over.
What you can ask your friend to talk about:
Your personality traits that they like.
A favorite memory together.
Five reasons they would date you.

1. My Favorite Quality in a Person...

Time to pull out your dream list of a person’s best qualities and...ask for them. (Gasp!) As dating coach Lindsay O’Brien has previously told PureWow, it pays to be clear up front so that the right people can find you. Just make sure to keep it positive, because listing the negatives (ex. Someone who doesn’t [insert quality here]) can suggest relationship baggage. “For example,” she says, “If you don’t want someone who is sarcastic or critical, you can say, ‘A sweet guy makes my heart melt.’”
What you can say:
A sense of humor.
Planner extraordinaire.
Thoughtfulness.