How to write a-z in fancy way a

Just wondering why it’s the new thing for it seems people to cut off their parents. I get severe abuse but while I wasn’t perfect by any means I raised my son from being 18 years old worker super hard went to school dealt with physical and mental abuse from his father so much so he went to jail. Fast forward, he finds someone in his early 20s and ends up paying for everything while working and going to school with my money as well. I don’t say much just ask the normal questions that concerned parents have when monetary questions come up and other minor things but only to him. Very minor things. I help with two degrees, rent, cars everything. Suddenly, after being with her he has a different beliefs on everything and while I get people evolve to this level and extent was definitely concerning. Ended up in counseling with him for a year while I am getting sick really sick I just ask for a chance with him - yet I feel this entire time I don’t bring up religion or politics which to be fair I never did before I would just go over things like I do think he is and was starting to just 100% be about her which is fine but so many changes so many of us being slowly distanced from but was happy to take any financial help from me so did she. Fast forward helped her with job didn’t exactly work out I was upset - meanwhile I never said anything to her only to my son. The were just living together but I understand not the best but I did it just like I feel many parents are concerned or can get frustrated esp since I was still helping financial and she went through career and jobs and everyone else was toxic and she was not speaking to her parents for years. He never cuts off contact from dad ever he is good guy the one that refused to help him his entire life, picked drugs and beating me over his son and helped his new kids with everything. He resumes contact with me after even cutting off my parents that treated him like a son even when my dad is sick just zero. Has over and over again said I don’t make her feel welcome or accepted oddly I have never felt the same I went out of my way besides a few statements about work to him only been humble and nice and helped them always with nothing expected. His dad introduced them. After I found out he got married from social media, I did lose it - we had been talking maybe once or twice a month and he always was scared to talk to me once he got near her being around and moved out of state. I knew something must be going on when I was crying and asking why he said I was being a victim that I am reactionary a lot of therapy speak but no apology just basically not a big deal and she doesn’t feel accepted I said what can I do I have apologized, send notes prior, acknowledge holidays zero worked. He said we all need therapy I agreed even though last time there were incidents he said happened that didn’t happen like I made fun of him at a birthday dinner by saying he was too serious at 16 was abusive. I still apologized. When I was blocked again after 5 years and spending less time than 3 hours with him in person I lost it - I did write emails about how I’ve been begging and walking on eggshells to gain acceptance and if this and a lot more but I had held in everything for years just pretending I am a horrible parent all her words btw - when I agreed to therapy he blocks me again and nothing makes sense unless it’s her even is own dad says it is. He is being 100% controlled by her and it’s rough being cut off. I am so depressed and my treatments are barely helping because of the chronic depression and anxiety - his dad still around so are her parents. I have apologized, letters emails calls and then left it alone for a year before he would send a birthday card or note or flowers or Mother’s Day he sends his two siblings Amazon cards only two weeks late. Barely speaks to them or my parents - doesn’t acknowledge me at all no cards no emails zero contact. I wrote a letter one of many to her no response.
I pray every day that my son will accept me for someone that can never be perfect but estrangement is so devastating I don’t diminish serious cases of abuse but that isn’t the case here. No parents are perfect they can try. I don’t understand why I can’t even get something back just hope nothing more. For children, please consider how devastating and depressing it can be to erase the person that gave you their all and sacrificed whatever you needed. I am not perfect again but I know in my heart I do not deserve no contact. It is like grieving a death and begging knowing I have zero ability to change it I even asked please if you can just let me know if there is a chance you will forgive me and speak to me no response- my dad is sick and I am sick - for kids that are thinking this is the only way it’s super hard. Beyond devastating.
Anything I can do?

I'm at my wit's end, hopefully someone can help me resolve this issue. I apologize for the deluge of text you're about to read.
My laptop is an Acer ConceptD 7 Ezel CC715-71, running Windows 11 Pro. I got it late 2020 I believe, and aside from the sound no longer working a few months in and the finger print sensor saying it can't recognize my fingerprint after like a handful of uses until I reset/re-register the fingerprints and anew, only for the process to repeat yet again, it's been perfect.
(I was living in Canada at the time and imported it from the States, so after all the hassle with customs, it wasn't worth jumping through all those hoops to send it back again, even if it was ridiculous that the sound and fingerprint sensor stopped working just a few months in for such an expensive device.)
Fast forward four years to yesterday, and it was working fine, but I went to the bathroom and came back, and suddenly the WiFi wasn't working. It was fine on every other device/phone/laptop/Steam Deck, but no matter what I did, the WiFi refused to connect.
In the past, I've had issues with this laptop being the only device to not connect to the WiFi network in this building, but now it's not detecting any networks. It claims the WiFi is on, but checking in the settings show it isn't. Clicking it on refuses to engage, either failing to do so, or looking like it complies before immediately turning itself off.
Then the WiFi icon/option would disappear entirely, and the Bluetooth did the same. I would find the Bluetooth setting in the Device Manager window when I enable "Show Hidden Devices", but I don't know how or why it was hidden.
My Network Adapter (Intel (R) Wi-Fi 6 AX201160MHz, I believe) would be disabled, and checking the Event tab in the Properties would say things like "Device not started (Netwtw10)" and "Device configured (oem91.inf)" and things like that.
I would try updating, downloading the latest drivers from Acer for my laptop using my phone and transfer it to my phone and try to install them, and sometimes it would say it installed and works, but other times it would say it detected the drivers I wanted to install but failed to install them.
I've tried disabling and enabling the driver, uninstalling and reinstalling it, deleting it and restarting the laptop to automatically get it again (not sure how it did so without the internet, but it would be there, every time), and doing the same for the Bluetooth driver.
Sometimes the WiFi would work for like all of a minute or two, before it would become disabled and find no networks and there would be an error with the driver and the event log saying things like the Device didn't start, and once or twice I think I saw it say "WiFi Device Cannot Start (code 10)".
At this point I was ready to give up and just use my phone as a hotspot for my laptop to connect to and call it a day until I could care enough again, but even that wasn't applicable, because that option for Mobile Hotspot was grayed out and said something about how I couldn't connect it no Ethernet or Wifi device connected. (Specifically, it says "We can't set up mobile hotspot because your PC doesn't have an Ethernet, Wi-Fi, or cellular data connection.)
All through this, my laptop started being fucking weird in that if I clicked "restart", it wouldn't turn itself back on. I'd have to press the power button to do so, and even then, it often wouldn't. I've tried power cycling like three fucking trillion times, and it would never work consistently or turn on after I've let the lights blink several times or waited 30 seconds or 60 seconds or longer.
(Aaaaaaaand I suspected my WiFi would be a bitch again and so I tried to send what I've typed out on the laptop to my phone via Telegram (because typing all this on my phone was getting tedious), but of course, the WiFi went out the SECOND I tried. I was using the Mobile Hotspot option immediately just in case my normal WiFi network went out, but it still disabled itself and wouldn't stay online via Mobile HotSpot when the option was available/not grayed out like it is now.
So I'm going to have to save this wall of text as a text document or something and manually transfer it to my phone.)
I finally decided to do a system restore, selecting one from May 26th, and it took like 30 - 45+ minutes, and of course it didn't restart itself, but when I finally managed to find the right power cycle attempt to get it to turn on, my laptop said the system restore was a success.
Huzzah! It was working. For 30 minutes.
😐
So I tried to download MalwareBytes on my phone, and it downloaded then I transferred it to my laptop, and of course it needed to connect to the internet to download the rest of itself, so it wasn't conducive to anything in this situation.
I tried uninstalling and reinstalling the driver and I (foolishly) thought I had solved my WiFi/Bluetooth issues last night and was even feeling galvanized to try and open up the bottom of my laptop and see if the sound issue I've been avoiding dealing with/coping by using Bluetooth earbuds/headphones for the past four years was as simple as something being unplugged, so I went to get my strebito kit, which I see everywhere around me and in my vicinity, except of course (you guessed it) the one time in four years that I actually genuinely needed it :))))))))))))))))
I also got a BSOD today, and I think I glimpsed it saying something like "ACPI block management", but it was very quick so I can't be sure. I tried to google that, but the only ACPI answers I could see in relation to googling it for reddit solutions (lol I love that everyone has had a problem before and that there is invariably a reddit thread with that exact problem, situation, and solution) were in relation to ACPI BIOS errors, so it may have been that.
I tried accessing the BIOS (which took a lot and trial of error in power cycling because of how inconsistent it is that my laptop has been with turning on since yesterday). Of course, I had apparently previously set a BIOS password when trying to allow my laptop to boot into Batocera like a year or so ago, and I apparently am not intelligent enough to have had the foresight to write it down in a note or document on my phone, despite me knowing my ADHD/memory is garbagio, so I always make it a POINT to do so, because I don't trust my powers of recollection (and apparently, as evidenced by this instance, with good fucking reason!).
Of course, I forgot to mention that now my laptop freezes, including when I was writing up a majority of this thread in the aforementioned notepad, so now I can't even transfer it and have to re-type what few paragraphs I see (I had JUST scrolled down to make more distance between the bottom of the text and the document because I hate not having that visual buffer between the text and the bottom of the window, it makes me feel like the text is running out or more difficult to see/continue) on my phone anyways, so that was yet another obstacle. 🙃
So, to summarize:

1. Laptop's WiFi/Bluetooth keep disabling themselves and the Bluetooth keeps hiding itself, so not even the icon is visible. The WiFi can't find any networks, and refuses to turn on (even though it says it does when I toggle it), and when it's like this, I cannot connect via Mobile Hotspot either.
2. The laptop is being very peculiar about it restarting, only does so if I press the power again after it shuts down (despite me selecting restart), and even then, only sometimes. I keep having to power cycle it to try and find the perfect sweet spot to let go and have it actually turn on.
3. The laptop now freezes within 20 or so minutes, and stays that way until I restart the laptop.
4. Sometimes it tells me that a driver reinstall works, other times it says it doesn't.
5. The driver events say that the device did not start, and error 10.
6. The laptop showed a Blue Screen of Death today, and the error said "ACPI" followed by (what I think it was) "block management" or (what it probably was) "BIOS error".
7. I set a BIOS password that I do not remember.
8. I do not have access to my Strebito toolkit to open up the laptop, nor do I have money to take it to BestBuy Geek Squad or wherever does laptop repair.
9. My laptop speakers do not work, despite sound apparently playing based on the animation/sound waves playing in the sound settings when media is active, and stops when nothing is playing, leading me to believe maybe something has been unplugged for like 4 years internally.
10. (I have many a time tried to uninstall, reinstall, download, and update Realtek drivers, but no sound comes from my speakers.)
11. I managed to run MalwareBytes, and it said it found a Neshta virus in a CEMU/WiiU emulator I downloaded literally years ago in the CEMUHOOK.DLL file), which I assume was present even in the system restore done yesterday backed up from 6 days ago. Apparently there was also Yontoo adware. I have since quarantined them.
12. (I should perhaps also note I rarely if ever use CEMU, and certainly haven't within the past two years, if not longer. I just like having access should I do desire on a whim to play.)
13. The problems (aside from the missing sound) started just yesterday, when I was away from the computer briefly, so it's even more vexing because I wasn't there at the onset of the issue or saw what caused it.
14. I'm incredibly reticent to do a clean install/start from scratch because I have so much stuff I'd have to reconfigure and download and reinstall because I'm a very particular person, and that would be so insanely time-consuming, you don't even know. If there's anything short of nuking this laptop that can help resolve these issues, that's what I would like to find out. I'm aware this is not the optimal/best idea, but I'm willing to deal with that in the future.

Either the universe or my own hubris and ineptitude keep trying to humble me, so I require patience and assistance. Please. And thank you. 😭 Whatever steps, whatever instructions, as long as they're clear and step by step, I can provide whatever you might need to deduce what the issue is and what a solution might be.

Brief: Hey there, I’m Vex. In short, I’m a retired Marine vet with a hyper brain, seeking a female partner
About Me:

• Age/Gender: 26, Male
• Background: Retired Marine vet
• Experience: I own my own DnD company and have extensive experience in creating characters, worlds, and timelines. RP has been a significant part of my life and has helped me through tough times.
• Interests: I love diving deep into biology and other sciences to create creatures and races that feel realistic yet fantastical. I enjoy deep roleplay, falling in love with characters, and weaving stories together.
• Therapy: I attend therapy sessions weekly and have undergone various treatments, continuing to work on my mental and personal growth.
• Head Damage: I suffered head damage in the Marines that didn’t affect me externally but impacted parts of my brain More can be explained for better understanding.
• Location: United States, Washington State (Pacific Time Zone)
• Availability: Pretty much all the time unless working, which varies.
• Platform: Discord

What I’m Looking For:

• Partner Traits: I need a woman who has the patience and a forgiving heart to understand my hyper nature. Someone who is caring on my good days and supportive on my bad ones.
• Passion for Creation: You should be passionate about creating characters, worlds, and storylines, and willing to explore deep concepts like biology, how when and where.
• Communication: Open and willing to dive deep into things
• RP Style: I love original content and weaving intricate worlds together. If you share a passion for unique, immersive storytelling and can bring energy and creativity to our RP, we’ll get along great.

My RP Preferences:

• Genre Preferences: Fantasy, sci-fi, modern – I love exploring different genres with rich, original content.
• Character Dynamics: Enjoys character relationships that are complex and dynamic.
• Plot Development: Collaborative planning, improvisation, and long-term arcs are all welcome.

Samples of My Writing: ASK for them, i cant post them here only because of the way i write.
Take in that deep breath, not the one for oxygen, but the one that reassures you that you are still alive.
If you think we’d make a great team, please reach out with:

• A brief introduction about yourself
• Your RP experience and preferences
• Any plot ideas or character concepts you have in mind
• You have read and understood what i am asking

I 33(f) have been married to my husband 39(m) for 6 years. I will call him Eric. Eric had a child (Ted) from a previous relationship and we also share another. We have been together for 12 years.
When we met I was an extreme party girl (21) who loved liquor and Eric was a daily beer drinker at home long before I came along. I did not see it for what it really was at the time. I was happy to have a partner who was a great dad from what I could tell (like my step-dad) and who knew how to also have a good time. It is what made me notice him in the first place.
He had his son (Ted) 50% of the time. Because of me, Eric and I essentially lived a double life for the first 6 months we were together. When Ted was at his moms I would go to parties with my friends and bring Eric every weekend and sometimes once during the week. However, I was very attentive when we did have Ted and loved taking care of him.
6 months into our relationship I was in a dnd accident which was my fault. Through that process I found AA and met amazing people and tried to get Eric to come with me. After 2 times he didn't want to go anymore. Him not quitting with me caused a lot of arguements. Our relationship was getting more toxic so I broke things off 2.5 months after my dnd accident. A few weeks later my step-father suddenly passed away traumatically.
He was my anchor to this world and was my everything. He was the one parent who didn't abuse me and was ever present. I almost immediately reached out to Eric because I selfishly wanted to be what my step-dad was for me to Ted in my grief. They were all close. We got back together and moved in together because we were losing my family home.
After moving in together: Eric's drinking did not improve. 3 tallboys or a 6 pack or more a night. Nothing I did or said changed his response and defiance.
Over the next year, we had a newborn. I had an emergency c section and was going through some deep dark post partum depression. He drank and was disconnected but worked hard. It was so hard for me I wanted to end it all many nights but did not. A couple years later, Ted's mom had overdosed on heroin but was revived and sent away to rehab. We had him full time for 3 years.
I had grown up exponentially since I met Eric into a woman who I was proud to be. I changed my ways and was a diplomatic mother figure to Ted and mother to his sibling.
Shortly after Ted's mom was back in the picture (Eric and I were already married by this time) we found out that we were going to be stuck with a 44k debt of hers that Eric had co-signed on when they were still together. She told us we were fkd and was not going to get a penny out of her because she had no money. Our shared account was zeroed out on multiple occasions when we were pinching pennies to save up for a house. Eric somehow made it go away despite lawyers turning us down and Eric never gave me a real answer on what happened with it. Eventually we got a house. Our forever home.
Years later I am asked to sign documents to account for all income we receive as a couple. We were both to sign the documents. The document asked if we received child support, so I asked him knowing full well years ago he told me she stopped paying years before that. He reluctantly said yes and also reluctantly gave me the amount paid. Also saying the money almost immediately went to Ted's moms 44k debt. We were not in a position to talk deeply about it at that exact time. But noted it. I was asked to provide proof.
After a month of begging for the paperwork and offering simple solutions that were turned down. On the very last day we needed the paperwork I was given it. When I saw it, the math was not making sense. In asking probing questions and repeating them til I got a direct answer he accidentally let it slip that what money isn't going to the unpaid debt is going into his account he uses for his alcoholism and marijuana (legal in our state).
The only account I knew of was our shared account and the separate account I have in my name (that he knows of) to protect our savings from getting pulled in fear of our account getting zeroed out again due to the 44k unpaid debt. He then tried to backtrack but it was already done.
I went completely catatonic. I see money go out of our shared account from his drinking and cigarettes and pulling money for what I assume is for his Marijuana. It did cross my mind sometimes the money (which was a lot) still never seemed to add up to how much drinking and smoking I saw happen which was always a problem. Now it's an even larger problem.
What scares me the most is I feel nothing. I'm hurt but not in the intensity I should be. I know I should be angry, I know this is a HUGE act of betreyal. I'm even nice to him (because im not sure how I truly feel and because I dont want to scare the kids) and I found out only 24 hrs ago. I'm terrified for my future. I pity him.
He stopped drinking the day after Memorial Day because I gave him an ultimatum due to his drinking where he had weeks to prep. For many years he's been an absent father and I've handled all kid stuff. I've also gone to sleep alone almost every night for atleast 10 years because he'll pass out on the couch drinking. It has always been an issue and gets brought up by me almost nightly at times.
He says he's had the card and account for 3 years, I doubt it. I am having him write me a letter confessing everything, what I already know and what I don't know. I'm also having him write in it why he did it and why I should stay with him because I am at a loss.
Being disassoated from what's happening has never happened to me in my life. I've never gone catatonic before. I have always worn my heart on my sleeve. Being the only functioning adult in this relationship practically our whole relationship has already been so hard, but atleast I knew he would never cheat on me and I thought I knew I could trust him. I am questioning my entire life choices now but it still feels like I'm in a dream. That this isn't happening to me even though it is. He says he wants to go to AA with me by his side (I havent gone in many many years, havent needed it, I rarely drink because it reminds me of how much his drinking disgusts me), says he wants to get better, but I feel numb. I don't know what to do or think and hope I will find my answer when he confesses what he will in his letter. I have no idea if it will be enough. It feels like it's too little too late but my heart doesn't want to leave even though I know this empty feeling must mean it's broken. The thought of splitting up our family no longer feels like it's my choice. I'm afraid of losing my self respect if I don't, but I'm also afraid to leave, and leave Ted behind.

Aka your roadmap to the leaderboard!
Who am I? A dojo obsessed masochist who is nearing the end of mirroring every dojo fight (beating enemies with their weapon and style)
I’ve gotten on the leaderboard a few times in the process and it’s gotten me more interested in how it all works and figured sharing what I’ve learned can help others
Alright let’s start by breaking down the scoring, which will lead into some more detailed breakdown of things
You’re score is based on 3 things
Time
Damage
Technique
First off, Time. This is really your DPS score, the faster you kill the enemy the higher the score, I’ve seen upwards of around 4600 I think and I’m not sure you can get much higher than that, but this is truly a measure of how well you kill things.
Next: Damage. This is actually scored based on how much damage YOU take, with a max score of 4200. Now if you take even a single hit, that drops down 1-200 points depending on the severity of it and can quickly drain your score if you keep getting hit
Now if you’re only worried about the master rank of 7k, you can kinda see how just no hitting and killing fast regardless of anything else gets you there
So here’s where it gets more interesting
Tech. This is scored on 3 different things. How many crits you get, how many countersparks you get, and how many martial arts you land
The martial arts part I think has a quality and quantity score, aka landing a few big ass hits scores just as well landing a bunch of weaker ones, which is why you’ll still see good tech scores from Greatswords and Odachis despite less total MAs used
Now prior to the most recent update, it was just Crits and Countersparks, and typically the ceiling for that score was around 1600 or so. Now though, you can get tech scores 2000-2500+ if you’re landing martial arts all over. Sometimes then it’s actually worth it to drag a fight out a bit longer in order to get more Countersparks and MAs landed. You might lose 2-400 points on the time, but potentially gain 800+ on tech in the process
Again for the 7k threshold, this is easy as hell to reach with the change, but if you’re going for something higher like the leaderboard, you more or less have to do damage exclusively with Martial arts. After all any regular hit done doesn’t get you any points in itself (but if it helps you kill faster then it helps your time score)
So it serves you well to figure out what combination of MAs work for you and your favorite styles. Violent Gale and Flash attacks are also pretty crucial to this, not because they score points by themselves but they allow you to more quickly transition from skill to skill so you can land more scoring Martial Arts. PLUS they help your Ki management and recovery.
So how do you get in the leaderboard? Simple really
Don’t get hit, counterspark damn near everything thrown at you, deal damage almost exclusively with Martial arts, and get at LEAST one critical hit in the process. 2 is better but not always possible
Pre 1.05 9000 pts was sorta the threshold for “great”, didn’t take a perfect no hit run but overall excellent play. 10k+ was the realm of absolute perfection (or pre nerf Unearthly Flame)
Post 1.05, 9k isn’t such a hard thing to achieve, I’d say 9700ish is the new equivalent of that, with 10k+ being the next step, and likely puts you on the leaderboard. Absolute perfection with a meta strategy puts you in the 11k range
And not all fights are created equally, as an example I think Genzui first dojo fight actually has a higher scoring potential than the fierce version because of the mock vs actual combat, allowing you to get an extra crit and more countersparks
Let’s also compare the 2 different types of dojo fights. Mock combat and Actual Combat
Mock combat is with wooden weapons, damage is much lower and fights tend to be longer because of it. For your gear you’re only benefiting from your 4 armor pieces and 4 accessories so builds are more limited. In these fights, you’re often able to get 2 crits and sometimes 3 if you play well
Oh and if you like running 6 katana styles you need to enter into the dojo with 2 equipped, once you’re in the menu only gives you access to one of each weapon (except bayonet because its rifle and shotgun bullets)
This has made some of my sequential mirror fights a pain because I try to double up on weapons to flash attack between the same style
Actual combat is basically toned down real shit. You have access to your normal weapons, though they’re downtuned for base damage which means your bond transferred skills and set bonuses also apply. The base damage is higher compared to wooden weapons, on top of having more of your build available, leads to shorter, bloodier fights. If you use hard hitting big weapons sometimes a second crit is hard to come by because of the sheer DPS. Oh you also get your grapple hook! That can be a big deal if you’re running the Dragon set to make use of its grapple max ki damage
And now we get into some more details about MAs I’ve found work EXTREMELY well for dojo scoring, my MVP list
Remember the tech score includes critical hits and MA landing? Well there are some skills that do BOTH, so you get a double count on your score for using them. I highly recommend having one in your arsenal, and several veiled arts are included so there’s some flexibility
Now the downside of these arts is your Ki recovery is slower to start up after use compared to a regular triangle crit so be aware. Also the actual critical blow portion tends to come at the end of the move, so there’s a bit of lead time with it. The slower ones you’ll maybe consider using to actually be part of the final depletion process, but if you’re committed to a big combo that ends up fully depleting an enemy, there may not be enough time to do the entire art with the crit at the end, in those instances just take the regular crit
I apologize if the names are off, I’m doing this off memory at the moment
The number one art? Nozuchi Drop on Odachi (Mumyo). This is a triple threat. It’s a skill, it does a crit on a Ki depleted enemy, and on a panicked enemy it suplexes them. Plus it’s FAST and useful even if you’re not in a scenario to use the extra functions. Even when it takes the crit it’s a very fast and short animation which can save you precious time for your score. Plus the crit happens almost immediately so you run less of a risk of missing the crit compared to other moves. Works great in combos too because of its speed and as a standalone for the panic grab after deflecting attacks
Next I like Roaring Blade on Tennen Rishin Latana. It does a big ki pulse that can do a good deal of Ki damage and the downward slash can take the critical hit, good at the end of a combo when an enemy is near depletion.
Night raven(Mumyo) and Spring Storm (Jigen) on Katana. These are triple threats in a different way, and are especially useful in Mock Combat because they count as grapple attacks, so they can trigger the Dragon grapple ki without having your grapple! Oh and they also can take critical hits, so excellent choices all around
Twin Dragons (Mumyo) on paired swords. This is a GREAT art, it is fast, does a bunch of hits, does great Ki damage especially when blocked, and can take the crit
Bone Shatterer on bayonet. This is another solid one, does a great deal of Ki damage, does a BIG crit hit on Ki depleted, and overall just fun to use
Demon Bear on Greatswords. Decent, animation for the crit is a little long but you do start regenerating Ki sooner when you use it compared to others
There are others, every style (except unarmed) I think has at least one Veiled Art that can also crit but these are my favs
A couple non criticals worth mentioning
Autumn Current (Hokushin Itto) is a solid choice, does great damage, even better Ki damage (especially if they’re blocking) and you can run it as long as you have Ki. Be wary of overcommitting with it though, its easy to do
Shadow Double, a bit slow overall but can strip Ki very well. Gives you a somewhat long range option too. Not sure it’s worth using as a VA on another katana style but Gikei is a solid shinobi style so it’s there for you
Mugai-ryu Firecracker. Not a veiled art, has a tricky range, and a long recovery after using it. But it does a FUCK ton of Ki damage, if you use it after a violent gale so that you’re very close to an enemy that helps ensure it hits. I’m planning to experiment more with this one after I finish my mirror challenges
And if you haven’t checked out the write up on Panic, I’d recommend giving it a read, as learning to understand, plan, and manage panic is really the key to getting those low to no-hit high score runs
https://reddit.com/riseoftheronin/comments/1d5d23l/panic_is_maybe_the_most_important_mechanic_in/
That’s all I can think of at the moment, so get out there and start scoring some points!

It’s a very long story but please bear with me as it’s something I really need to get off my chest, I’ll really appreciate advice, I can’t get it out of my head. I’m 21M in college.
My friends have always been girls or gay guys and I’ve only ever had 2 straight guy friends my whole life and even then we weren’t too close. I’ve always been a sensitive kid and my interests never were “masculine”, so where some guys either dabbed in sports or video games or cars, my interests actually were anything but those things. Because of this, I felt outcasted by most guys at my school for not having any connections.
I met a guy my first year of college who I quickly befriended despite us not having really anything in common. This was the year that social distancing rules were being lifted, and I hadn’t made any friends at my college so I was desperate to make friends. But this one was different, I felt myself becoming obsessed with him. I wanted to be his only friend, the person he’d want to see the most and talk about the most. I did so many things for him cuz I held on this pedestal. I was very shocked by this feeling and kind of embarrassed. I wasn’t attracted to him sexually nor romantically, but I felt like I couldn’t be having this obsession if that wasn’t true. I was questioning if I really was gay. Later on, he met other guy friends, ones with actual things in common with him, and out of jealousy/fear he’d leave, I left him first.
Now since this event, I’ve realized the abandonment issues within the situation, but on top of that, I exposed the underlying reason for my obsession to be my own insecurity. I held him on this pedestal because he was everything I wish I was. I never explicitly had this thought when I met him. I never even knew I hated myself till I met him. I always said I was happy being different from other guys. The typical man only had hobbies that were athletic or lazing around in a gaming chair, missing these kinda attitudes is what made me feel left out, and that “masculinity” was something I was missing. I’m aware of toxic masculinity and know that I won’t change myself for others, but I felt like I had a lot of pent-up rage towards men in general for making me feel bad about myself as if I’m alone in this world because I’m nothing like them.
Having this realization helped me understand that I wasn’t loving myself enough. And I’ve known this for a while and THOUGHT I was working on it up until recently. I think I’ve started to hate myself more than ever and I never knew it.
I met a guy online this year (I use online chat rooms when I’m bored), and I ended up finding out he was bisexual and went to the same school as me. We started talking but the way we talked felt flirtatious. I’m straight but I do like flirting for fun even if I’m not attracted. I started to feel that the obsession I had with the first guy started to come up, but I must specify: I didn’t grow this obsession, it started right when I learned that he was athletic and on top of that an academic weapon with several hobbies. I started to want his attention more and was (as embarrassing as it is to admit), I wanted him to want me. I hated that feeling of validation that I craved, and I feel like it makes me an awful person wanting to seduce a bisexual man knowing I have no interest in being with him. But I felt obsessed with wanting that validation. Eventually, I realized I was doing too much and started pushing him away. But that feeling/craving for validation was still there, so I started to use someone else to fill in that gap.
I feel like it makes me an awful person just continuing on, but there’s this gay man in my club who I began to obsess with because I wanted to be a friend. And just like the last guy, I also wanted him to want me. But when I wondered “why him”, I realized that he had a very youthful look, and an innocent charm I feel like I used to have, he’s very popular in our club and known for being the “cute but shy” guy in our club.
Coming to look back at this history, I’ve found that validation is still something I crave due to my insecurity in my looks and personality. And this has been the saddest relaxation that pushed me to make this post. I thought I was happy, but I’ve started to feel myself grow emotionally numb, I don’t feel much that often, and in all honesty, when I see an attractive man it ruins my day. When I meet a guy who’s charming, it makes me upset. I hate that I think this way, and honestly I never actually caught this mindset until today. I didn’t know I hated myself that much because I didn’t actively nor explicitly put myself down. But I see that my head has been unconsciously just comparing myself to every man I see. I still stick by not wanting to change for anyone. But I wish I wasn’t me sometimes.
I wish I had looks I was more confident in. I wish I was more charming. I wish I was more “masculine”. I wish people were naturally attracted to me. I wish I was more popular. I wish I liked the things I’m supposed to like. And on that note, I wish there weren’t things I’m “supposed” to like. I wish I didn’t attach myself to people, because I always hoped their aura would just rub off on me. Like if I just was around them for long enough, then I can be more like them. I feel like a loser for saying that but there’s so many people I wish I could just be, and for that reason their attention is validation cause if they like me then maybe that could only prove that I’m just as good as them.
And yes, I know I need to practice self-love. But I seriously thought I was, I always leave time for myself, and buy myself gifts, and daily affirmations. But honestly while writing this all out, I think I see what it is. I wish people treated me better. I think I want people to see me the way I see them (but I don’t what that means) their aura? I think it’s just the charm overall.
I think the way people perceive these guys that I mentioned judge how they’re attracted to them. I just wish I had that compelling personality. I wish I could be a star, someone people look up to because I’m beautiful inside and out. And yes I know that loving myself is the major important and all that matters. But I wish that I could feel that important to people. That sounds really greedy saying it out loud, and maybe that does make me a bad person. But it hurts feeling worthless. What do I do when self-love isn’t enough? I don’t want to want others' validation, but it’s just how I feel. What do I do when I want more than I can ask for? How do I stop obsessing over people I wish I was? Self love doesn’t work for me, I need to know people want me. That sucks.
That’s all. Honestly, a huge thank you if you read this all and are willing to help. This has been something I’ve been struggling with practically my whole life and have only now been able to put into words. I’ll take advice please be as detailed as you’d like I need a major psycho-analysis and can’t afford a therapist ….

My 15yo daughter is technically non-verbal. She uses single words, but only on her own terms. We’re best friends, but we’ve never had a conversation. She definitely understands a lot of what I’m saying, but because I can’t converse with her, I have no way to confirm what she does and doesn’t comprehend. We just assume that she understands everything, and take whatever we can get.
She can read and write, but unfortunately I can’t utilize this as a better way to communicate, as it’s selective like her speech. When she was much younger, she would write words, like elephant and universal, or names of her favorite cartoons out of blocks or fridge magnets. She was doing so well at her school, with her teachers and friends. It seemed like she was on track to become at least partially verbal. Then Covid hit, and she regressed, a lot. She has an incredible memory, and memorizes random dates and specific stuff that we did on them, she knows pretty much every Disney and Pixar movie and the years they were released, she knows a surprising amount of song lyrics… but she doesn’t write words like she used to.
She has just turned 15, and has become ten times more difficult than before. Obviously, puberty is playing a huge role in this, and it definitely doesn’t help that she’s taller and stronger than me. Not only physically strong, but head-strong. She’s stubborn, knows what she wants, and gets incredibly frustrated when we can’t figure out what it is… or we can, but can’t get it for her right away. We can only get her to eat 3 types of food, and will only drink from one specific bottle. She will never listen to reason. She bites these two spots on her hand, angry-sings/screams, and shakes when she’s melting down, and it’s so often that she has these huge calluses on both sides of her hand from it. She takes off her clothes when she’s really mad (a HUGE problem when we’re in public!), and throws her shoes and headphones. Bedtime is almost always a nightmare… and when she chooses to perform most of her scream-singing. Sometimes I think she’s asleep, then out of nowhere she’ll start “ahh ahh ahh ahh! ahh ahh ahh ahh! ahh ahh ahh ahh!”… usually she’s a great singer, but it’s not pleasant to listen to when she’s mad, because she’s screaming like a feral banshee!!
She obsessively writes down dates. We have notebooks all around the place, and she can’t go anywhere without one. She writes in patterns, and will fill a whole page with just the first letter of everything she wants to write, then goes around adding single letters or numbers… she could be writing 50 things at the same time, some dates, some activities she likes, some favorite snacks… most of it nonsense, but very meaningful to her.
I’m babbling!!
My biggest frustration is that it’s like having a toddler who can overpower me. She knows when she’s being mean, and chooses to continue. There are some things that I 100% know that she understands, but she acts like she doesn’t. She’s so smart with some stuff, and remembers everything… except how to talk! Speech would be such a game changer. I love her unconditionally just the way she is, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t grieve for the relationship I thought we’d have by now.

I’m overthinking this again. Perhaps my mental state is way too erratic, but now I suddenly am thinking I’ve been too inaccurate beforehand, so now I think my typing may be wrong (again). It’s not easy to be as truthful as I can. Honestly, my view of myself is very strange. I have always been very unsure. So I wonder if I’ll get the same or a possible different answer. I apologize if I wrote way too much here or got off topic to the question.
• How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.
I’m a minor (15), so perhaps accuracy could be affected by that. I’m a female. I think I’m very quiet and blend into the surroundings most of the time (and it’s not easy for me to be otherwise if I, for some reason, ever attempt to be that way). I either talk way too much, or talk too little. This is because if I don’t talk that means I really don’t know what to say, and when I end up wanting to say something it’s a lot of built up things. Also I think I end up adding random things to what I say for some reason. When I’m having a conversation, I usually spend most of the time while they’re talking thinking of how to properly respond, because I DO have an idea for what I want to say, I just don’t know how to formulate or back it up properly that quickly. For this reason, I realize I might miss out most of the details they’re saying, so I try to do both now. This is why I find texting much easier. From what I hear from others, perhaps I’m a little too reserved that it could be seen as rude. However, I myself think I talk just well enough. I’m actually somewhat hyper and energetic most of the time, but not verbally. This is because I think it would be too exhausting to express that in such ways. I think a lot about what some things mean. I’m unfortunately very quick to anger, especially if I believe someone is being way too idiotic or if I’m told I’m incorrect in how I think. Perhaps this may be normal to get annoyed about? But I know I get very irrationally angry about these. I don’t think anybody in real life would notice I have anger issues unless we’re close. I’m very neurotic. Actually, I’m going to mention that generalizing myself is difficult simply because it’s strangely difficult for myself to describe or identify my own traits. Also, it’s a bit difficult to not start explaining too much and focusing on small things (but I think I already did that).
• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow?
No diagnosis.
• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?
Religious influence? Perhaps not strongly, although my family is Christian, they are not very strict on it nor have they forced it upon me. Actually, it was very interesting and I did believe in it at first, but due to my curiosity I think I ended up asking so many questions that eventually it somehow led me to stop believing in any sort of theistic way.
• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?
I don’t have any, but I want to answer this with what I used to aspire to be. Very early on, I really wanted to be a scientist and kept insisting to be, but then lost interest, I don’t remember why, but right now I’m thinking it’s because something about it is slightly terrifying. Very recently I wanted to become a writer because I think I was very passionate about stories in general, but I have realized how unsuccessful I might be if I chase for that with the amount of motivation and skill I have for it right now, so recently I’ve been thinking I’ll do something math-related, since I am good at it.
• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?
Refreshing for most of the time, but I think I would get lonely a few times. This is assuming I have nothing else to do and can do what I want.
• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?
I don’t really know what activities I prefer, maybe more of ones that are having to do with dexterity. I am TERRIBLE at sports, I am too wary during ball games (but this is because I’ve been hurt a lot playing with other people too many times). Badminton is the sport I am best at. I can play with quite average skill there. I actually enjoy it too, but I’m not sure how to explain why, perhaps due to liking the feeling of light movements (if that sounds correct). I like to walk, it helps me think when I imagine things. I don’t like walking if I have to do anything else with it, it’s much harder to focus.
• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?
I think I’m pretty curious. I’m not sure though. I have more ideas than I can execute ONLY BECAUSE I don’t have the required skills to execute those ideas. My curiosities are about whatever another person brings up, perhaps. Or I’m curious about people’s analysis. My ideas are very conceptual, I suppose. My ideas are more like creating a story, or combining two stories together. Or I take one small thing from a story I know of and imagine things focusing on that. I think I’m imagining too much about media I consume, but I don’t normally do otherwise.
• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?
I would enjoy it for the sake of a false sense of responsibility, either that or for the sake of trying something new that I’m not good at. However, I know I am not responsible enough to be good at it. As long as there is time for our team to do the task, I think I could possibly be able to do it. But I’m a terrible leader since I would end up being unable to think of anything. I would rather lead by being a participative leader, because that’s the only way I can lead properly.
• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?
Perhaps I am coordinated, but I don’t understand this question at all. I may enjoy working with my hands. I don’t understand what this question means by “describe your activity”.
• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
Perhaps I am artistic, I do draw sometimes, especially if I’m bored. My art is likely just drawing humans, and nothing unordinary, just normality, I don’t know why I prefer doing so. However if I was able to draw something that was quite surreal, then I would like to do that a few times. I just wouldn’t do it all the time because I don’t think I would have that many ideas.
• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?
The past is just gone. You apparently can’t change the past, though it would be interesting if we could go to the past. But it’s not easy for me to think so much about the past voluntarily. Sometimes I do connect the past with the future, but it’s not because I actually think hard of it, it just happens. But usually if I think about the past too much, or actually try to think of the past, the first things I start focusing on are bad memories. I did mention in previous times that I answered this sort of question that I did not like the past, but of course as long as it’s not because I’m focused on one terrible thing that happened to me or one terrible thing I did, it’s not bad. The present is just a moment and then gone. So what? Also, we’re not really in the present, are we? I don’t even know what’s going to happen in my future, so I think I can only form an opinion on the idea. I mostly have a bit of an optimistic thought that it will go well since it always isn’t as bad as I think, but at the same time there’s a feeling of dread.
• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?
I don’t think I would react that strongly unless it is bothering me when I’m trying to do something and I’m focused on doing it. Otherwise I would try to help without feeling any bother, but I may wonder why they need my help even if it’s incredibly obvious why. If I decide to help them I’ll just do so because otherwise they’ll likely bother me with it. Either that or just because I can.
• Do you need logical consistency in your life?
I don’t think this is a good question, do some people really think they don’t need it? If there are such people, I wonder what their thought process is with that. Basically, why wouldn’t I?
• How important is efficiency and productivity to you?
I don’t think I’m efficient or have good productivity, but I do think I stress out over it. Low efficiency annoys me which is probably hypocritical. Although, I mostly do get annoyed about those when it comes to group work, because personally in those I would try my best to be efficient and productive.
• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?
I don’t think I do, but I might have done it without noticing. I think I would likely do it if I had the incredible need to change the topic of the conversation. Otherwise I don’t think I would bother doing it, why should I care enough to control others, especially since that takes too much effort?
• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them?
I draw sometimes, to pass the time when I’m bored and to just picture things I want to picture. Also to show people. I just mostly like drawing to see the results. Strangely with painting it’s different, I just like the act of doing so, but I don’t really care about results, so it ends up very messy. I like to write sometimes but only because I get overwhelmed and end up wanting to write what has been stuck in my head for so long onto something. So I guess that’s a hobby, but it’s somewhat tiring so I don’t write for long periods of time. I do photography as a hobby, but I only picked it up because other people in my family I have noticed are incredibly terrible at taking photos, so out of annoyance I end up volunteering to do so. I end up liking it just because I like to look at how it looks on camera, I suppose. Especially with lights, because I recently noticed how it looks on photo.
• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?
A few years ago I took a test for this kind of thing during secondary/middle school. I suppose it said auditory. Though that’s likely inaccurate now since I prefer reading the instructions and everything else, because it’s easier to figure out where to go from there and I can focus on it better. I don’t know what learning environment I struggle in most, though I do struggle slightly if I have to do exact memorization, but as long as I can attach it to something and I put effort in it perhaps it’s alright. I prefer classes with logic.
• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?
I usually improvise but have a slight idea of what I’m doing. As in, I have a slight idea on the topic but I’d rather not be rigid on it because otherwise I would be focusing too much on one thing and likely miss something that would be good to add, rather than just having an idea then adding onto it if I thought of something. I’m not sure if that counts as winging it and improvisation though. I’m not good at strategizing but I can certainly try if I have a certain goal.
• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?
Improve myself in general, because what else can I do? Just be successful and become someone that has a lot of capability. That first, then I perhaps could focus on something else. My reasoning is, I don’t improve myself first, how can I actually end up being able to do any other aspirations that I have?
• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
I fear the idea of losing thought of everything. Or losing all rationale. I don’t know what makes me uncomfortable. I hate it when I’m dragged into something when I made it clear I would rather not be, especially when they never even told me about it until a second before dragging me into it. I hate it when people bring up something, and when I finally decide to express my thoughts about it, they talk over me or interrupt me. Either that, or they just tell me to not think so much. This is incredibly annoying to me, but I suppose it would annoy anyone.
• What do the "highs" in your life look like?
I think I would be very calm and focused. I think I would feel very lucid.
• What do the "lows" in your life look like?
I think my lows would be feeling an incredible amount of dread. Or I would be very anxious and slightly more impulsive. Though, I think nobody would notice much in real life.
• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?
I think I do pay attention sometimes but it’s inconsistent when I do or don’t. I pay attention if I have to. I like to daydream sometimes. I’m not sure if I pay attention more or daydream more. How would I be aware of my surroundings if I do daydream though? Obviously not.
• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?
First of all, do I know why I'm there? If I don’t I would wonder about that. Also is it that I suddenly got there, or was I brought there? I think I wasn’t sure of any of these, especially why I’m there, then I would think I was kidnapped and just try to get out of that room. Ignoring all that, I would probably walk around a lot and think of the same things I always daydream about or imagine about. But wait, how long am I supposed to be staying there? Is there an obvious part of this room where I can just leave or is it basically just nothing? Really this is a bit too unspecific.
• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
I usually try to think a lot before making an important decision, after all, there is always the chance my first idea could go wrong if I don’t think it over first. I usually doubt myself once I made that decision even though I thought it through a lot. I rarely end up regretting it and changing my mind though. However, I sometimes end up doing things on impulse either if I’m tired or for some reason I don’t even know. In which case I 100% change my mind.
• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?
It takes a while. I do know how I feel towards certain things but it takes time to understand or explain why, otherwise it’s difficult to express. I usually process this myself. Emotions are important, I guess. Aren’t they motivators though? It’s the entire reason why I’m actually doing anything, so I don’t see why it wouldn’t be.
• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?
I end up doing this sometimes, just not directly saying I agree or not directly saying they are right, because most of the times I do this I do know I disagree, I just don’t have a coherent argument that is enough to be convincing, or one that is enough that my view seems rational, because most of the times I notice the other person would see the opposing viewpoint as incredibly irrational and stupid. I am working on not doing this though, because it’s likely better to make them think about it than doing nothing and keep them thinking something that they could change their mind on or I could change my mind on. Another reason why I’m working on this because I realize agreeing without actually agreeing would end up nagging me in the head.
• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why?
No, I don't break rules often. I’m either afraid of being punished, or because I see the rules are pretty rational and I understand them, even if I wouldn’t personally impose those rules myself. It’s not too difficult for me to try and adapt to those rules if different places have different rules. I do find myself re-checking the rules a lot though. I only don’t give any mind about rules if I really hate the community or place in which these rules have been imposed on. But if I hated it in the first place, why would I even be there? Anyways, challenged or not challenged, it’s not one or the other, it really depends on how the authority does things. Consider what they’re like first and what they do in their role then judge if they should be challenged or not challenged.

I am not entirely sure how to write this so please excuse the word vomit that is about to happen. Thank you.
I am an 18 year old online college student and I've always had a bit of trouble making friends and being able to keep them. My anxious tendency's make it hard for me to fully understand why someone would truly want to be my friend. I'm in therapy trying to work this my issues and trying to find better ways of communication. While I've only been in therapy for a short while I, personally, feel like made a ton of progress. I have contacted old friends and have made a couple new ones. I wouldn't go as far to say that I don't struggle with responding but I eventually will.
A big part of my anxiety is that I might take up "too much space", that my behavior would be "too much", that I would be annoying, and ultimately that people would hate be and I'd be lonely. My anxiety sometimes blinds me and I can't tell who I can and can't trust. I see the word alone being used a lot when people use it to describe how they feel but I don't feel alone. The word alone in the dictionary reads "having no one present" and the work lonely in the dictionary reads "without companions; solitary; cut off from others". I believe that the word lonely fits the description of my feeling better than alone. I know that I enjoy my alone time - my space - but for a long time I couldn't tell the difference between the two.
The first time I ever really felt my anxiety was in middle school. My younger self was much more open and optimistic than I am now. I still had that child-like wonder and sense of safety; like nothing could ever go wrong. I wish that feeling never left. As it is for most people, middle school was horrible. I remember being eccentric, happy, and very talkative. This was a direct hit for those "mean girl clicks" everyone had encountered in middle school. At that time I never really understand how cruel the world could truly be. This was the moment I truly felt the anxiety click in, hearing people talk behind your back then be so loving and caring to your face.I won't say that I am a saint because I know that I have also had rude conversations behind peoples backs and I can say nothing eats me alive more then knowing how rude I was. I know that it is almost impossible to get people to not talk about you behind your back, it happens to everyone but this never stopped me from trying.
Those "mean girl clicks" used to talk about how I'm too loud, annoying, they hated my hair, the way I dressed, etc. And I can positively say this went on with me though my entire life. I started dressing in all black, I would speak unless spoken to, I would keep my opinion to myself unless cued otherwise; I did all of this and more just to try and keep the attention off of me. I would keep a book with me at all times so I didn't disrupt anyone so that wouldn't be annoying. I was so fearful of seeing self-centered, being too much to handle, annoying, egotistical, and entitled to how much damage I was doing to my self worth in the long run. I wanted to so anything to avoid being those words because I thought that it would earn me friends; I thought that it would finally make me worthy.
All of this is to say that this was of living followed me though my life. Anytime someone needed something I was the first to volunteer, I wanted to help everyone in every way I could, I wanted to be a natural friend of people. A neutral friend - someone who was like enough to keep around but not noticeable enough to be talked about behind their back. I did this with everyone I met at school, work, family, etc. With this my therapist has helped me open up more and I've gotten more comfortable with myself and the fact that it's okay for me to take up space. However, I am still very aware of how I am acting and how I might be perceived. I think three times about what I am going to say before I say it to make sure I don't say anything that can hurt someone. Does it still accidentally happen, yes, but I am always empathic about it and I always apologize.
I have been in a bit of a job switch recently and I am working with people much older than me and I have had a hard time with management. My most recent bosses and have rude, unforgiving, and disrespectful. Now I understand that not all jobs will be perfect and for the most part you just have to deal with it but as I've said above I take comments that are made to me seriously. I know this can be a bad thing to do but my anxiety had a tendency to pick it up and run with it. My employer makes the schedule on a monthly basis, I am a full-time employee, and for the past two months I have worked 20-25 days each month and now the new schedule (June) I am only scheduled to work for 11 days. With quick math working 11 days can't pay my car insurance let alone the car note. I was understandably, in my opinion, upset and I took it up with them the next day so that I was not speaking out of anger in the moment. When I brought it up to my employer the next morning they told me that 30% of my productivity can from them helping me and the other 70% came from me working alone. I was essentially told that my productivity level was too low and that if I wanted to work more then I need to "prove myself". This honestly stirred a lot of my past worried and anxieties about never be good enough and not being worthy. And while that's not what was explicitly said it is what my anxiety heard.
When I finally got home (I live with a relative) they asked me what was wrong and I had explained the situation with that and I that I felt like I was being productive and trying my hardest. They had brought up the idea that my productivity level might be the issue and when I asked further I was met with one of the more gut-wrenching comments I have ever had anyone say about me. They told me that I act entitled. I have been called many things but for be being called entitled, one of the very things I have tried so hard not to be, it completely broke me inside. I have entered a few inserts below about my "Being Entitled" search.
Entitled - Adjective - Google Definition

• Believing oneself to be inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.

What does it mean to be entitled? - Cambridge.org

• Feeling that you have the right to do or have what you want without having to work for it or deserve it just because you are who you are.

How do entitled people behave? - Well Mind Article

• Demanding special treatment, expecting others to do things for you, not showing gratitude, and the need for constant adornment.

Example of being entitled - Psychologytoday.org

• You see your own interest more interesting than others. See your goal and desires to be more valid than others. You disregard rules that are intended for everyones comfort.

What does entitled mean as an insult?

• In many cases, describing someone as entitled may be a criticism of their behavior or attitude, suggesting that they display a lack of humility or an unrealistic sense of self-importance.

With going though and finding all of these articles describing what an entitled person acts like I don't think that I fit into this category. I try so hard to make everyone happy to make sure that their days are going good. I have always shown gratitude when someone does something for me and I have a tendency to say that "I am sorry" even if it has nothing to do with me. They called me entitled on Monday the 27th of May and it is not June 2nd and I never received an apology. This evening I brought it up during a discussion and they asked if it was really still think about it. Part of me wanted to say no that it was just a joke, bottle it up, and move on but I didn't. Instead I said, yes I am, you never said sorry for being rude me, and all they said was that they were being honest. I told them I understand honesty but they could have brought it up in a nice more adult manner. They brushed me off and told be I was being a baby about it that I should take it for face value and "re-evaluate myself". They were never specific about any time I was acting "entitled". When I brought up why it was rude to me and that it was a main center point for my anxiety and that my therapist was helping me finally get through it; they told be that my therapist can't be the only person I talk to about my feelings. They told me that this is not what she is here for. That I needed to talk to my friends and family instead. But this is the problem, I thought that I was so safe with this relative (emotions wise) and now I have been proven wrong so I don't see any reason I would open up to them now. I also brought up the point that it is hard for me to make friends. They looked and me and said well I try and get you to go out to clubs and events but I just don't find it easy to make friends like that. I like quiet spaces where things are calm but even in settings like those it's so hard for me to make friends.
They still never apologized and I truly don't think that they will. I've been dwelling on their comment about me being entitled everyday. And everyday it makes me more and more anxious, I've noticed myself being more secluded to avoid stepping on anyones toes. I think what I am looking for here is opinions that aren't mine or theirs. I know that was a lot to read but if you did I would appreciate some feedback. Do I seem entitled? Do I deserve an apology? How do I deal with something like this because I am completely lost.
Thank you for reading my word-vomit <3

Hi hi. I hope you're all doing well. I know it's probably sort of silly to come to a subreddit like his to just talk, but I wanted a place to do so and this seemed like the best option.
I'm so... so sad. And I try not to think about it so much, but it gets hard sometimes. I'm tearing up heavily just writing this post. I'm 20M, and I'm out of school, in College, but I had to withdraw from my first two semesters because I just couldn't handle it.
I'm doing my best to put on a happy face for everyone around me, including those I love, but I don't know how much longer I can keep doing it, I keep having these breakthrough days where I just don't have the energy to even get up, much less help around the house or get out to do anything.
My one thought that I always come back to is that I just want to be little again. The world was so much brighter then. I would come home from my elementary school and sit in the family office watching my mother play Plants Vs Zombies. And I always got so scared of the Zombies but I wanted to stay in there and put on a brave face for her. And then I'd go play with my toys... my Thomas the Tank Engine toys... those were my favorites. We'd occasionally go to the store and get a new one to add to my little train collection.. And my stuffed animals. I thought they were so magical. My mom would write me letters from one of them, one of my favorites. I think a little part of me died the day I found out it was just her. But I still had that childlike wonder, the feeling that nothing could or would go wrong. As I got older, things just got grayer. I don't know why.
I don't know why I have all these thoughts. I'm on a cocktail of medicines that SHOULD be working. But when I have them in me, I just feel... numb to everything? The dog I had for the longest time died earlier in the year, and I just didn't feel anything. It's not like I'm avoiding taking them, but I feel like... it just dampens anything I do. I know that's probably silly.
My mom and dad are so supportive of me and I love them so much. But I know they're not always going to be there, and there's always that little thought in the back of my head that says, would I be better off if I went before them so I wouldn't have to bear losing them? I know it's not right, but I don't know if I could lose one of them and still be okay.
Everything moves so fast these days. I have to pay attention to so many things. When I was little, nothing seemed like it would ever move. I liked it that way. God, I even broke down when my family changed the wallpaper in the house I grew up in. I still have a little strip I keep of that wallpaper I have in a music box. I never want to lose it.
And I love my dad. I love him so much. I know he's not got the same thoughts that I do, he grew up in a different time. I know I'm neurodivergent. And he does his very best to accommodate me, but he still makes me sad sometimes, and then he feels like it's his fault, and then HE gets sad, and then I feel awful... it's not the best dynamic, but I do my best to roll with it.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to post so much, I just needed a place to write down my thoughts, I think. I have no plans of taking my life, or anything silly like harming myself, but I need something. I don't know what I need, though. I just need these thoughts to stop. I get so sad... and I know I have an okay life. So why do I feel this way? Thank you for listening to me, if indeed you still are, and I hope you have an excellent rest of your night.

Dearest,
I want you to understand me fully, because I find it immensely difficult to communicate any of this unless it is all laid out as one mindset, for I fear being misconstrued as ill-intended when for me this is an exercise of truth and speaking that truth which I feel. It is an exercise of honesty, and one of humility as I lay bare before your conscious attention the fullness of my feeling.
I have loved and I have lost. A number of times now, in various ways. I have explored depths of despair, loneliness, grief, trauma, and other shadowy sides to myself and after entertaining death itself for years, I have emerged refreshed and cleansed. I choose life and all that this incarnation has in store for me while my lungs continue to take breath and my heart continues to beat.
My orientation to life has long been to clench and grip and grab and tightly hold on to illusions of control and security. To ensnare people with untenable relationship arrangements founded on a lack of self-acceptance and love. To entertain conditional and transactional experiences with other humans, for fear of being taken advantage of. These seeds I have allowed to take root have sprung up many times, as I have continued to water and enrich them with anxieties and fears. No longer. I choose to live and to love. I choose to cultivate a space of love that welcomes and accepts and validates and entertains without the need for gripping and containing those who enter it. And as the space expands the walls of my heart, the incalculable depths of loving potential arise to the surface and saturate my being. I choose to be love itself, incarnate as far as my current form will allow. I honor my limitations and find great serenity in accommodating and challenging them in due course.
One of my core powers is understanding the nature of limitation itself. Thus I recognize that in terms of my love, a limit does not exist that can ever long persist. My love is infinite. As I fall into the space of love, I too am infinite as a whole and no longer feel a need to leave this form, or end things, or to do anything especial to avoid suffering. I am just love itself, and that is enough to satisfy my mind and my heart and my soul. All that exists that may limit the outpouring of this love is the nature of my form, and that blessedly is ever changing—seemingly to the benefit of all, and will ever grow alongside the expansion of my heart.
This space is supremely difficult to remain in forever. But when I am with you dearest, I am always in that space. I am always in that space of love with you. Even right now. I am in love with you. Do you get what I am saying? I love you as a person, a human, a being in general. I adore so many aspects of you. But I am also IN the space of love WITH you. I am in love WITH you. I love you, but I am also in love with you.
I have no fear stating this. How could I be afraid of loving utterly she for whom I hold all desire? How could I fear you, dearest, when your embrace is pure comfort and pleasure? You are divinely saturated in feminine expression and attract every atom of my being like a super-magnet. In fact, you instead take all my fears away and alchemize them into precise and pristinely perfect inspiration for me to cheerfully ingest, effortlessly. You ARE my inspiration, my muse, my lady, my woman, and my lover in my mind and in my heart.
Your laugh is a fountain of music and your speech an enchantment for my ears. Your smile as you grin at me is so wonderfully and delightfully silly, mischievous, cheerful, hopeful, and full of desire all at once. I have never felt my capacity to love so challenged as by you, but neither have I ever recognized just how utterly willing I am and will ever be to fully explore that capacity with you.
The way your eyes sparkle with celestial radiance, and draw me down into their depths is a fantasy ride into the very dreamy undertones of my most private subconscious sensualities. And with a bright unserious laugher bubbling up in the blink of said eyes, you make me go to pieces with chagrin and humility in the best possible way. Often, your glance pierces with icy diamond sharpness, but gives way to pools of the most vibrant tropical paradise blue that are wells of the deepest wisdom; a spring from the mountains that begins a stream that will take a lifetime to meet the sea. I would swim in the depths of those pools forever, were I so fortunate as to be invited closer than the leaves of the trees on the edge of the forest. The Keen-Eyed I name you, for there exists no veil or shroud over me that your gaze cannot penetrate with swift and unyielding overtones of warmth and delight. No shadow can endure that light.
Your skin is taut; your muscles wrought—of strength, and powerful endurance. You make the lands vibrate with joy and excitement as the wind chases your feet as they dance through the world. When it is out, the sun glows dazzlingly, glittering with tiny rainbows of color as it plays across your aesthetic and athletic form, and all the wildflowers yearn in anticipation as you pass—hoping for the glory and chance of being picked and tucked behind your ear—to their greatest delight and honor. Framing the soft expanse of your brow, the tresses of your hair flash with a rare and glorious golden radiance that only the light of the stars glittering in the inky darkness of night could produce. Their glow traverses the infinite emptiness of space only to at long last become ensnared and woven into the soft strength of each strand, to radiate that light anew.
When I hug you, I realize that if I could, I would freeze time and spend an eternity just holding you in my arms, lovingly caressing your hair and back as your soft gentle weight presses into me, comforting me utterly with the honoring of the full humility of my stark humanity. Feeling your acceptance, and validation and encouraging enrichment through holding you makes me possessed by great sorrow, knowing I must let you go, but it also leaves me with a lasting serenity and pleasure, knowing that within the space of this long lifetime, I somehow have been so unbelievably fortunate as to have been graced by so loving of an embrace. Humans go entire lifetimes without ever experiencing such a wondrous experience, and I treasure it every time it occurs.
You will never owe me anything, nor suffer any binding at my hand, save those of your own choosing. I offer you infinite depths of connection and reassurance amidst the wide world, but I do not seek to contain or cage you. You have a path to walk just as I do, but I would have yours lead back to me each moment that it may. I would cherish and love you all the days of my life, and never would I intentionally overstep your boundaries nor subject you to violence. I would uphold your honor and work to emphasize your grace with my own stature and beauty and power. Such that is granted to me by the space of each moment, anyways. There is great potential for mutual growth and fulfillment between us over the length of a lifetime if we are willing to invest in developing a deeper intertwining of our bodies and our souls. I recognize many limits but no limit to the depths we might explore together. The universe is vast, but perfection abounds from the highest highs to the deepest depths, and as long as I have you nearby, I may envision it and establish it in turn, for the benefit of our family, should you choose to spend your time in my company in a home of our own.
And if your choice is to seek a path that follows a diversion from my own, I will accept it with graceful resignation, wishing you only the utmost happiness for all your days. I may strain to understand how any other might love you with greater ardor than my heart is aflame with, but the cosmos does not revolve around me, and I recognize that there persist many potential partners of greater consideration and so I willingly let go of any claim I might try to lay for your hand. Instead I offer only a blessing, that should the universe favor me at long last, that this letter will not fall astray and will arrive to a welcome reception in the halls of your heart. Should it not, I will sit with contentment, recognizing my own bravery and madness in sending it, and regretting not the choice to seek your fancy.
You are a treasure dearest, and I am a treasure seeker. I covet many gems and beautiful minerals and crystals that this wondrous planet has grown and shaped. But no crystal radiates as you do. No crystal has so beautiful of colors. Nor is as delightfully energizing as you are. I find no greater assurance in any rock or stone than I do holding your hands and being within the sphere of your aura. I have faith that I will become as strong or as harmonious or supportive as ever you might wish me to be, if only were the smile in your eyes to wake me from dreamspace each morning alongside the rays of the sun and so inspire me to greatness.
May this wishful boat of heartfelt intention and deep desire sail gently into the cavernous depths of your being beneath the mountainous wall of the outer bulwark of your defenses, and may it receive safe harborage in the twilight pools of dreams that glow like galaxies in the soft glimmer of crystal-laden caves that house your soul. May it meet there the doorway to your heart, and may it pass over the threshold, to begin anew the conjugation of the universe with itself through the vehicle of our mutual love.
For K,
Who never received it, having chosen another lover.

I am not entirely sure how to write this so please excuse the word vomit that is about to happen. Thank you.
I am an 18 year old online college student and I've always had a bit of trouble making friends and being able to keep them. My anxious tendency's make it hard for me to fully understand why someone would truly want to be my friend. I'm in therapy trying to work this my issues and trying to find better ways of communication. While I've only been in therapy for a short while I, personally, feel like made a ton of progress. I have contacted old friends and have made a couple new ones. I wouldn't go as far to say that I don't struggle with responding but I eventually will.
A big part of my anxiety is that I might take up "too much space", that my behavior would be "too much", that I would be annoying, and ultimately that people would hate be and I'd be lonely. My anxiety sometimes blinds me and I can't tell who I can and can't trust. I see the word alone being used a lot when people use it to describe how they feel but I don't feel alone. The word alone in the dictionary reads "having no one present" and the work lonely in the dictionary reads "without companions; solitary; cut off from others". I believe that the word lonely fits the description of my feeling better than alone. I know that I enjoy my alone time - my space - but for a long time I couldn't tell the difference between the two.
The first time I ever really felt my anxiety was in middle school. My younger self was much more open and optimistic than I am now. I still had that child-like wonder and sense of safety; like nothing could ever go wrong. I wish that feeling never left. As it is for most people, middle school was horrible. I remember being eccentric, happy, and very talkative. This was a direct hit for those "mean girl clicks" everyone had encountered in middle school. At that time I never really understand how cruel the world could truly be. This was the moment I truly felt the anxiety click in, hearing people talk behind your back then be so loving and caring to your face.I won't say that I am a saint because I know that I have also had rude conversations behind peoples backs and I can say nothing eats me alive more then knowing how rude I was. I know that it is almost impossible to get people to not talk about you behind your back, it happens to everyone but this never stopped me from trying.
Those "mean girl clicks" used to talk about how I'm too loud, annoying, they hated my hair, the way I dressed, etc. And I can positively say this went on with me though my entire life. I started dressing in all black, I would speak unless spoken to, I would keep my opinion to myself unless cued otherwise; I did all of this and more just to try and keep the attention off of me. I would keep a book with me at all times so I didn't disrupt anyone so that wouldn't be annoying. I was so fearful of seeing self-centered, being too much to handle, annoying, egotistical, and entitled to how much damage I was doing to my self worth in the long run. I wanted to so anything to avoid being those words because I thought that it would earn me friends; I thought that it would finally make me worthy.
All of this is to say that this was of living followed me though my life. Anytime someone needed something I was the first to volunteer, I wanted to help everyone in every way I could, I wanted to be a natural friend of people. A neutral friend - someone who was like enough to keep around but not noticeable enough to be talked about behind their back. I did this with everyone I met at school, work, family, etc. With this my therapist has helped me open up more and I've gotten more comfortable with myself and the fact that it's okay for me to take up space. However, I am still very aware of how I am acting and how I might be perceived. I think three times about what I am going to say before I say it to make sure I don't say anything that can hurt someone. Does it still accidentally happen, yes, but I am always empathic about it and I always apologize.
I have been in a bit of a job switch recently and I am working with people much older than me and I have had a hard time with management. My most recent bosses and have rude, unforgiving, and disrespectful. Now I understand that not all jobs will be perfect and for the most part you just have to deal with it but as I've said above I take comments that are made to me seriously. I know this can be a bad thing to do but my anxiety had a tendency to pick it up and run with it. My employer makes the schedule on a monthly basis, I am a full-time employee, and for the past two months I have worked 20-25 days each month and now the new schedule (June) I am only scheduled to work for 11 days. With quick math working 11 days can't pay my car insurance let alone the car note. I was understandably, in my opinion, upset and I took it up with them the next day so that I was not speaking out of anger in the moment. When I brought it up to my employer the next morning they told me that 30% of my productivity can from them helping me and the other 70% came from me working alone. I was essentially told that my productivity level was too low and that if I wanted to work more then I need to "prove myself". This honestly stirred a lot of my past worried and anxieties about never be good enough and not being worthy. And while that's not what was explicitly said it is what my anxiety heard.
When I finally got home (I live with a relative) they asked me what was wrong and I had explained the situation with that and I that I felt like I was being productive and trying my hardest. They had brought up the idea that my productivity level might be the issue and when I asked further I was met with one of the more gut-wrenching comments I have ever had anyone say about me. They told me that I act entitled. I have been called many things but for be being called entitled, one of the very things I have tried so hard not to be, it completely broke me inside. I have entered a few inserts below about my "Being Entitled" search.
Entitled - Adjective - Google Definition

• Believing oneself to be inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.

What does it mean to be entitled? - Cambridge.org

• Feeling that you have the right to do or have what you want without having to work for it or deserve it just because you are who you are.

How do entitled people behave? - Well Mind Article

• Demanding special treatment, expecting others to do things for you, not showing gratitude, and the need for constant adornment.

Example of being entitled - Psychologytoday.org

• You see your own interest more interesting than others. See your goal and desires to be more valid than others. You disregard rules that are intended for everyones comfort.

What does entitled mean as an insult?

• In many cases, describing someone as entitled may be a criticism of their behavior or attitude, suggesting that they display a lack of humility or an unrealistic sense of self-importance.

With going though and finding all of these articles describing what an entitled person acts like I don't think that I fit into this category. I try so hard to make everyone happy to make sure that their days are going good. I have always shown gratitude when someone does something for me and I have a tendency to say that "I am sorry" even if it has nothing to do with me. They called me entitled on Monday the 27th of May and it is not June 2nd and I never received an apology. This evening I brought it up during a discussion and they asked if it was really still think about it. Part of me wanted to say no that it was just a joke, bottle it up, and move on but I didn't. Instead I said, yes I am, you never said sorry for being rude me, and all they said was that they were being honest. I told them I understand honesty but they could have brought it up in a nice more adult manner. They brushed me off and told be I was being a baby about it that I should take it for face value and "re-evaluate myself". They were never specific about any time I was acting "entitled". When I brought up why it was rude to me and that it was a main center point for my anxiety and that my therapist was helping me finally get through it; they told be that my therapist can't be the only person I talk to about my feelings. They told me that this is not what she is here for. That I needed to talk to my friends and family instead. But this is the problem, I thought that I was so safe with this relative (emotions wise) and now I have been proven wrong so I don't see any reason I would open up to them now. I also brought up the point that it is hard for me to make friends. They looked and me and said well I try and get you to go out to clubs and events but I just don't find it easy to make friends like that. I like quiet spaces where things are calm but even in settings like those it's so hard for me to make friends.
They still never apologized and I truly don't think that they will. I've been dwelling on their comment about me being entitled everyday. And everyday it makes me more and more anxious, I've noticed myself being more secluded to avoid stepping on anyones toes. I think what I am looking for here is opinions that aren't mine or theirs. I know that was a lot to read but if you did I would appreciate some feedback. Do I seem entitled? Do I deserve an apology? How do I deal with something like this because I am completely lost.
Thank you for reading my word-vomit <3

Hello, as mentioned - I am a 27F looking for more friends, as I don’t really have a lifestyle where I’m constantly outside actively hanging out with people (which I am fine with).
I work a remote job so my socialising level increasing would do me some good.
*You must be somewhere around my age, or older. I’m sorry as the more gen z you are, the more I’m lost in the conversation. *I am also not looking for a relationship.
Please give me a short introduction of yourself too, please.
About me:

• I live in Singapore [GMT+8], I am of mixed heritage.
  
• When I’m not working, I spend time with my cats, I go swimming and/or I am watching or reading anything that tickles my fancy. I make my own hours, and you’ll come to find me struggling to keep a routine sometimes.
  
• I love books, so if you would like to discuss or read together, you will be very fun company! (We can also do this with documentaries/shows too). I can game too, but rarely these days. *I rarely read fantasy. I mostly have been reading non-fiction and I love my occasional novels!
  
• I am an INTJ (though I’ve been typed as a INTP when I was younger..?), people seem interested in that but I’ve also seem to get along quite well with other INTJ/Ps, ENTJs and INFJ/P. So, that’s interesting.
  
• I’ll be as actively present as I can be, I would not ghost you if we decide to be friends. My preferred platform is Discord.
  
• I do not use social media, so do what you will with that information haha.
  
• I come with respect with a dash of goofiness and occasional unintentional aloofness.
  
• I may be a slow texter sometimes but I’m definitely paying attention and I will always be there.
  
• I am not diagnosed and don’t plan on having it checked out but majority of my friends believe I may have ADHD from how my thought process/communication/lifestyle is seen, so I’m just throwing it out there since you may be a potential friend of mine.
  

Edit: I like cooking, so if you do too and want to talk recipes, let’s do it! *While I try to achieve great things, I am aware failures can happen 😅
—-
If you think we get along, great! If you’re think we’re similar, amazing - let’s get connected!
x

Hey everyone,
We have seen a deluge of posts about x86 emulation in the past few weeks. While it is of course OK to be excited about recent developments, I want to remind you of some things:

1. This stuff is bleeding edge. ABIs are changing all the time. Things may break with any random package upgrade. There is a reason we are not shipping this for end users yet. You are entirely on your own if you choose to try it.
2. The state of things today should in no way be taken to be representative of what x86 gaming on Asahi Linux can achieve. Put another way: It's okay to be excited about the things that do work, but the bugs, limitations, and brokenness you might experience are not where we expect to be.
3. In particular, if you experience issues or bugs, chances are that as a user you have absolutely no idea what the root cause is or how easy it is to fix. We've been through issues as dumb as "all GPU memory is leaked forever" and "microVMs only have a hardcoded 4GB of RAM", never mind the obvious "without TSO everything is slow". Obviously these issues are not acceptable, nor are they hard to fix, but if you experience the effects you might wrongly conclude that stuff is very broken in much deeper or hard to fix ways than it actually is, and therefore leave disappointed and very misled thinking it's going to take months or years to fix these dumb issues.
4. We don't talk about timelines for a reason. Anyone claiming "X will be here next quarter" or "X won't be here for a year" is making things up, either way. Stuff will be done when it's done. Until then, any speculation about when things will be ready from random people is pure speculation, and not based on any objective reality.

We're excited about what there is to come, and we do intend to package and make this all available to users - once it's ready. In the meantime, our recommendation is always to wait until then. You are free to experiment of course, but please be mindful that you don't imply anyone or everyone should try this, and avoid writing "easy-to-follow" guides or scripts that present themselves as being suitable for end users. We don't want news coverage to happen before things are ready, as that will only hurt the project. If you are a journalist watching the progress, we would appreciate it if you wait until things are officially released before publishing any articles about this.

I live in the Bay Area and I normallly walk this Main Street that is used a lot during the day. It garners a lot of traffic both people commuting with cars, and or walking etc. it was still early when I had discovered their body, people had already started getting up and leaving for work. The sun was starting to make its way out when I came across the sad and unfortunate discovery. This person had to have been dead for days because the condition of their face was in, it was nothing I’ve seen from someone alive. I wasn’t really sure what had happened to them, but immediately I called the cops to inform them of the situation. I felt bad for this person because they had died on a busy street, how no one did anything to help them amazed me. Also who knows how long they had passed without anyone noticing also baffles me. I’m glad I was there to finally help give this person the help he needed, and hopefully they can now rest in peace. I pray that authorities can identify and notify anyone in his family that may have questions to his whereabouts. It was an upsetting situation to be having early in the morning, I’d thought I would write about something that has been heavily on my mind. It has left me with so much questions that I probably won’t even know… but am grateful to know that I was able to help someone out.

When deciding to write this, I had to reconcile an issue; how do I advertise myself to you when I don't actually like who I am right now? The best answer I could come to was that I should just be open and hope that it resonates with someone :)
So I'll say all the boring stuff now to get it out of the way; I'm a 24 y/o living in Sydney, working in accounts. I'm 6'2, average body size, caucasian with brown hair and eyes. I'm happy to trade pics to verify if we click too. In terms of what I'm looking for physically, I'm not too picky at all. In fact, the only preference I have is that you aren't heavily overweight (chubby is fine!). Although that said, I suppose if you must know my 'type', it's girls with glasses.
So a bit more about me; I'm a bit of a nerd. I read manga in my spare time, I play video games when I can (games like ck3, hollow knight, Pokemon, those kinds of games, not so much COD or CS:GO) and I like a bunch (and hate a bunch) of Marvel movies. I also to play sports, used to play Aussie Rules and basketball in high school and now soccer in a Sunday league. So it'd be really nice to meet someone I can talk to about the hobbies we share, although I doubt we NEED to have hobbies in common if we click, it's just a bonus I think. That said I would love to discord and chill if we click, maybe watch some anime or play a game together?
I also wanna write a little bit about why I'm posting on here, I want to be fully open about my desires and aspirations from this post. I'm quite an introvert, although I tend to open up around a bit around friends. Speaking of which, I don't have too many of them. I have just a few close friends and that's pretty much it. I'd love that special someone to end up being my best friend, as cliche as that sounds. Someone I can just be myself with, who loves me for who I am, again quite cliche I suppose. I do have troubles really opening myself up to new people, and part of deciding to post this is with the goal of getting better at talking to strangers (although hopefully we're not strangers for long :). Hopefully you're someone that lives close enough that we could consider meeting if we really like each other.
So yeah, that's about it I think. Thanks for reading all the way through this, hopefully I didn't just ramble. If you happen to somehow like anything in this post, feel free to message, my dms are open :)

does anybody feel the same? ik im a whole man and i cant really talk about this to people irl cause its too vulnerable but i feel like anonymously saying shit might reach people who relate
i really do be thinking about how easy it is to just get a gun and just kys, there’s literally no pain involved and its instant
i dont really think there’s an afterlife, and that it is just like how it was before you were born
so, then that leads to me thinking i just end up at the same place where the billionaires with great lives end up, to the ppl in the third world countries eating the most sht end up at too no?
like the universe has existed for billions of years literally everyone alive on earth right now is gonna be lights out in “seconds” if u really think abt it
but for some reason im in bed so much, i go entire days without eating a meal at all, i get like 2 texts from people a week
maybe im just too ungrateful needa man up bit and work harder
its one of those things where i know nobody cares if im alive or not, if my life goes to shit or not, so im posting here just to see if ppl relate cause ik nobody irl gives a fuck enough to actually say/write some thoughts
idk feels like its just too easy, and ik im not depressed cause people are out here living way worse than me

I really like When Girls Telephone Boys it’s probably my favorite song off of self titled, and I watched a really good YouTube video last night by Nocturne on the making of self titled and the sort of state the band was in during its making. And I knew before I watched it that when they were writing it, it was when Chino and most of the other members were heavily into drugs. And also that he destroyed his voice on it, but what I didn’t know was that was around the time him and his first wife divorced, which made listening to it a lot more sort of visceral in a way, sure his vocals already are crazy with how much he’s blowing out his voice screaming, but knowing more it just became more emotional. I was on a run tonight playing it and the line “I hope we never do meet again” just seemed so much more sadder and angry, as to me I see that it could be about his frustration with how their relationship came to an end, and the sort of fallout that comes with a divorce. The song was a lot harder to listen to knowing more about how him and the bands lives were at the time (I think Abe was also either divorced or in the process as well around this time too) when I was running I was just thinking “Jesus Christ this is hard to listen too”. I know this might be a bit of a ramble but I just wanted to talk about it because I really like the song!

It's been 2 weeks in my REU program and I realized I'm not interested in this research, or in the field at all. Grad school sounds like pure hell, if I survive until next year I will try to take some courses in Creative Writing or some shit instead. I haven't received any direct payment yet, but after I accepted the offer, the universoty already bought me domestic flights to and from the REU with funds from the REU travelling stipend. Also, because I'm an international student, I had to get this REU registered as a 0.5 credit summer course at the university I learn at, but I haven't paid for that course yet. Can I quit now? How much money would I stilll owe if I quit?
Context so I earn your sympathy: Ever since I realized I was gay at 13, I knew I had no future in my home country so I studied really hard so I could afford a scholarship to America. This is why I had a good application that got accepted to an REU, but I'm way too tired and depressed to keep working on it. I wasted my entire life, I don't want to waste this summer too. Also two of my grandparents and my dog died while I was abroad, my laptop broke so I lost everything I've written, I could go on. Ist es over für mich

Hey there, fellow Rockstar Handymen/Handywoman!
First off, thanks for taking a moment to hear me out. Even though we’re strangers, it's past 11 PM on the East Coast, and I’ve had a full day working on projects and doing estimates, I’m buzzing with energy. Why? Because I know how crucial it is for us to have a space where the real pros separate from the amateurs.
Welcome to the club! Please, slip on your booties or take off your shoes. You know the drill. 😂 Make yourself at home. We’ve got liquor and beer at the bar, and if you prefer to smoke doobies, our backyard is your haven. Just give me a heads-up if you’re heading out there.😉 Remember, I’m writing this on a Saturday night, so if you’re reading this on a Monday night, maybe save those activities for the weekend and stay focused!
A little about me... I grew up in NYC, the son of a building superintendent/handyman since I was about 8 years old (turning 45 this summer). My family is a crew of skilled craftsmen: my brother, an epoxy floor specialist; my cousin, an ornamental iron specialist; another cousin, a woodworker; and another, a tile specialist. It’s in the blood. I didn’t specialize; I became a jack of all trades but master of none, learning from incredibly talented people.
For years, I treated my handyman service as a side hustle. In 2012, I got hooked on leveraging the internet to grow businesses through branding, marketing, advertising, sales, customer service, and more. I grew a few businesses from scratch with these skills, even stepping away from handyman services for a while. Then, after my partner and I parted ways, I needed a quick way to make money without getting a job. Naturally, I turned back to my handyman service.
I applied everything I learned into building a professional handyman business. By the third month, I was hitting over $10K a month. It’s easier to achieve in big cities. I provide great quality work, but my invoicing success came from knowing how to leverage our tools to stand out and attract clients powerfully.
Fast forward to June 2023, I relocated to Orlando. Sold my NYC business and started fresh in Florida. Within a week, I had my first client, and by the third month, I was almost at $7K that month, despite dropping my prices by 30% to match market rates. 😡
Enough about me. This is about us. I’m thrilled to share the “secrets” I’ve discovered that big companies (Thumbtack, HomeAdvisor, etc.) use to capture our clients and then sell them to us. My goal is to spread awareness in the pro handyman community about the power we have to build something we can be proud of and to be a support system when things go awry. The more we learn from each other, the stronger we’ll be.
I firmly believe a well-structured handyman business can easily generate six figures a year. The opportunity is massive for all of us. Here, we fill in all the gaps together.
Now, I want to hear from all you handyman rockstars: Where do you serve, and how long have you been providing services?
Don’t be shy!
Remember, closed mouths don’t get fed.
Have an incredibly awesome day! I insist!
AceOnHand - Handyman Extraordinaire / Internet Savvy / Saturday Night Rambler