I've been running longer than I've been going to the gym; I started around 2019, I think, but after around two years of that, I realised I felt worn down and more tired than I used to (before this, I was pretty much sedentary).
Around two years ago, I started to transition to going to the gym more, beginning with one day and then two. I went back to school to become a PT and started getting into sports science more, eventually adding a third day. At my lightest, I was 81 kg, but now im a somewhat husky but quite strong, 96 kg and im happy with how I've developed.
My current regime looks like this:
Monday - run 6km (29-30 mins)
Tuesday - chest, arms, shoulders (1h 30mins)
Wednesday - run 6km (29-30 mins)
Thursday - core and back (1h 30mins)
Friday - legs (45mins to an hour)
Sat + Sun - rest
While I'm happy with how I've developed, I've decided I've plateaued a bit and want to up my days in the gym to continue promoting hypertrophy. Would look something like this (a three-day cycle that is partly repeated and starts again after the weekend, meaning I'd do every workout 1-2 times a week
Monday - chest, arms, shoulders (1h 30mins)
Tuesday - core and back (1h 30mins)
Wednesday - legs (45mins to an hour)
Thursday - chest, arms, shoulders (1h 30mins)
Friday - core and back (1h 30mins)
Sat + sun - rest
and so on and so forth, with legs being on Monday and then the repeat starting on Tuesday. The issue is that I love running even though genetically I'm no runner; I come from a family of strength athletes. and I don't want to give it up, but exercising twice daily would be too much and running in the mornings and working out again in the evenings would just wear me down, I feel.
i want this because i want to see just how far my muscular development can get, and an extra two days would push me further.
Has anyone else experienced this dilemma?
thanks :)

a decent amount of my bdd fixations are related to things i consider masculine on myself (my brownone, my shoulders, my neck, my deep voice, my hands etc) and i often obsess over wanting facial feminization surgery or how to feminize my voice even though i was born a biological female
does anybody else have issues like this,? i feel like i have so many of the concerns trans women often refer to… is this normal (for bdd lol, so clearly not normal)

hi, i'm kind of new to reddit and the reason why i cam here to ask is that lately i've been worrying that i might be pregnant. I had unprotected sex in April 21 and last month in May 10 i'm not sure if i got my period because it was brown and it only last about 3 days. I took a PT 4 times and it shows negative but im still not sure if i can rely on that since i've been feeling like i have symptoms of pregnancy like shouldeneck pain, sore boobs, dizzyness and constant peeing. Please help.

It is beyond doubt that there are more of us around lately. Since the year 2014, when Caitlyn Jenner announced her tragic loss against transgenderism, cases of the disorder have skyrocketed. It is such that nowadays, ONE IN FIVE Americans report having knowledge of an androgyne, and over three million Americans report needing medical alteration to appease their transgenderism-induced suffering.
These figures are stunning. Never before in American history have we seen such an epidemic. But it must be asked— HOW?
For the uninitiated, the answer might seem elusive. One might even be forgiven for considering this drastic paradigm shift to be the culmination of heightened awareness and acceptance regarding the spectrum of sexual and gender identity.
This is precisely what you’ve been taught to think, but for those of us who have read into the situation at hand, we know better. Nobody knows better than one of us. The CCP is not at all unfamiliar with the incubation of pandemic disease. Some may take this as an allusion to COVID-19, but do not be fooled. That was simply a red herring. The true disease was Red-40.
Thats right. During the month of March 2020, purchases of candy, juices, and other foodstuffs which were contaminated with this pathogen increased multifold. We had been exposed for years, by our parents, teachers, friends. Smiling assassins, unaware of the fact that they were planting the seeds for future transgenderization. How convenient it was, that our choices for healthy food were all but eradicated.
The truth is, the insidious nature of this “harmless dye” are hidden in the name. RED. The chosen color of Communist Socio-Imperialism, and 40: the year of this century by which all Americans will be transgenderized.
But I digress. Stuck inside, we incubated. With our Red-40, and our CCP-Subsidized TikTok, the seeds sprouted. We thought that we held our screens, commandeering our online social lives. We had no choice; all other options had been rendered illegal.
But this was a ploy, to push us further into their grasp. And by the time they began to loosen their grip, we stayed comfortably in their cupped hand. Now, they send us the poison in boxed vials, which we stick ourselves with, with all inhibition gone.
And now, as our generation estrogenizes itself, the enemies of America bolster themselves to sheer redundancy. This was their plan all along. They knew they couldn’t conquer a nation of hardened, fighting men with the ideals of liberty and sovereignty burning in their hearts. But a country— if it can even be called that— of soft, scrawny, caffeine-addicted shut-ins? Who can barely hold a conversation, let alone a rifle? It will be elementary.
Once the jackboot is on our necks, those among us who fell for their treachery will only have been a precursor of what was to come. No would-be man will escape the fate that has befallen all of us. We’ve all been played for fools.
If you’re reading this, it’s probably too late for you. don’t forget to take your shot.
Edit: whats a “trans man”?

I have chronic daily headache (includes light sensitivity, blurry vision, floaters, runny nose, burning/watery eyes). I see a lot of chronic migraine sufferers but don't think I've seen anyone with my specific CDH and some migraine-like symptoms. So curious to see if anyone has it and your experience, if you know what caused it, or if anyone has solved it completely since I can pretty much never find success stories.
I suspect mine is caused by whiplash but as nothing has helped I do not know for sure. Having some neck weakness lately when I lean my head forward and neck tensing up a lot more than usual sometimes. Seeing an orthopedist soon, getting neck mri (already had brain mri), and trying neck PT again. Taking Gabapentin rn which is the only thing that I feel may be helping a bit. Sometimes feels like a slight pressure is caused in my headache replacing a bit of the aching more painful headache with pressure. I also missed my dose today the first time, and woke up with a much worse headache, really tense neck, and when I got up felt nauseous and hot and had to lay back down (nausea is not a symptom I ever get). So may actually be a good sign taking it is reducing the severity a bit I think.
Not sure why I'm getting downvoted....

I remember this great coffin rescue ficwhere Hua Cheng hears about screaming in The outskirts of Yongan so he goes to investigate and finds a sickly looking each tree which is growing out from the dowel in his chest. when he digs up the roots he ends up finding Xie Lian. He takes Xie Lian to Paradise manor ans slowly nurses him to health but Xie Lian is very traumatized and has to relearn how to do everything like walk and talk. SLow burn with lots of emotional and physical healing. Might only be available as a download, i think it was deleted from AO3. Ring any bells?

My dad has just have open chest mechanical aortic valve replaced. Was bicuspid. Severe stenosis. Diabetic. Obese, 115kg 173ish cm tall. Ex smoker (quit around 5-7 weeks ago, time is bluring for me)
He is 55, no thyroid, thymus or adrenal glands. Thymus was taken out 30 years ago, sternotmy
For all intents and purposes he has done pretty good. Thursday, operation. Spent 24hrs in ICU, has been very sensitive to all pain meds and spewing. On three types of anti nausea meds. Was/had tachycardia, high respiration rate, and on oxygen. They delayed his move to the high dependency cardiac ward for 5 hours because of this. Eventually they moved him though non of this had changed at the time. Still was spewing on the ward, out puts are good, urine and blood. So catheter, chest drains and central line in neck out yesterday. Even though he projectile spewed after the central line came out and it started bleeding all over him.
His respiration rate is better but still on oxygen. When they take him off he drops to 85% He is still having to give blood pressure meds to keep it lower.
Blood sugars are high, they are giving insulin in stomach but he isn’t really eating.
Yesterday after the lines and things came out they put him on low dose ketamine and he was hallucinationing but comfortable and able to talk.
Today, he get in there. The patient that was moved into his room yesterday afternoon. He had emergency surgery. He tested positive for covid. They said there had been a breakdown in processes.
They said they have given him a bupen*something patch for helping with the pain and he is still low dose k.
. I had been trying to catch endo yesterday to discuss when the stress dose will stop and I wanted to chat about the vomiting. I missed them. But they changed him to oral this morning and normal doses again. I said have you informed them of the covid exsposure. They hadn’t and once they did they doubled the dose (tablets, not iv) He is able to cough but he isn’t doing it enough. He is just lethargic and not with it today.
Today he is much more swollen with fluid, but the main issue for me is he is not with it.
This hospital has spent the last 4 years telling us this is a big deal and then he has this operation and it’s all so nonchalant and relax.
So far first covid test is negative.
I don’t know what I want or need but the act of just writing it down has helped.
So any endo pearls of wisdom would be great. I was told today that endo will be back tomorrow onsite.
Actually what are the things they should be monitoring blood test wise etc

I've been working on this story for... 3 months? 4? who knows, with my ability to keep track of time I could have started this yesterday, anyway, this is a story that has sci-fi elements, and some fantasy, although the fantasy stuff is mainly dragons so lets say adventure for now, (cause I don't know shit about genres, I just wrote the story) , Keep in mind, this has been written in free time, of which I don't have a lot, so if you don't like the story it is probably my fault, here is a look at:

Dragons wing

I slowly drift from my sleep and think to myself, ow, why is everything warm? I check the thermostat and see that it is at a temperature as cool as Canada and when I turn back to go back to bed so that I can sleep in, I see that my stuff has been knocked over? Oh sorry, where are my manners? I'm James O’Maley, I put everything back into place, and lay down on my bed but nothing is comfortable! I just decide, you know what, whatever, I’m just gonna get ready for work, and with that i get dressed, everything feels harder to put on, but it really hits me when I go to brush my teeth, when I looked into the mirror, I saw that their were, wings on my back, and a tail, growing out my butt like a lizard, I obviously spend several minutes having an existential crisis about this shocking revelation, and I decide to look at what these wings can do, I open a window, crawl out, with some difficulty and some slamming the window on my tail. I go to the edge of the fire escape railing, hop on, and jump, and I flew, higher and higher, until i nearly flew into a mountain but that's when I suddenly breathed fire, from my mouth, and bore a hole straight through the cliffside, I could spend all day flying, breathing fire, and fiddling with my tail, but I began to feel as tired as if I’d just gotten back from lifting weights with tigers, I landed on a cliffside and fell asleep. When I woke up I wasn’t on the cliffside anymore, there were monitors and scientists all around me. I tried to show some sign that I was awake, but I was chained up! I spent several moments struggling to get free, I must be free, I am not something they can chain down! I struggle, I roar, I attempt to move my head enough to burn the surrounding area, but I can’t, until someone finally talks to me,
“Hello there, James, please forgive us for our caution, but with your kind we can never be too careful.” I can see the scientist, I read his name tag, Dr. Crane William, I roar out
“My kind!? Get me out of these chains!” I breathe fire, claw, kick and swing my tail, trying to free myself, until I see two other people watching, one with weird whiskers, a long tail and a smug look on his face, and the other with a similar appearance to me but her wings are her arms. The next few days go by, until the two finally decide to talk to me, and in those days, My face becomes a snout like a komodo dragon’s, the one with the whiskers opens his mouth first and I already hate him
“Would you look at that, he’s even uglier up close!” I glare at him with absolute hatred, that seems to anger him more,
“What are you mute or something? Speak before I tear you apart!” he takes one step closer and that's all I need, I Bite his shoulder and use his head to break the chains on my right arm, I continue to break the rest of them with ease, and tell whiskers
“You want to fight? Let’s fight!” I leap on top of him, clawing at his face, he tries to slash me with a blade on his tail but I grab it and stab the wall with it, until I feel a burning sensation in my veins, The girl had bitten me! She looks at me with sadness,
“Sorry about this,” I look at her and drift into unconsciousness, when I wake up next I’m in some kind of, medical wing, ha, wing, as I look around I feel that my mouth is bound shut, but other than that, I can move my body, I get up off the gurney and just when I think it looks nice, whiskers shows his face,
“Well thanks a lot freak, now I’m on probation with Dr. Crane.” I motion to my mouth and he seems to have enough brain cells to understand what I mean
“Ha! You got the boot, Lily had that on her when she wouldn’t stop biting staff, I’m Ryan Mist.” I just walk away and try getting this muzzle off, That's when Crane walks in,
“Well, I must say it has been a while since we’ve had to use the boot, Ryan, your behavior was unacceptable!” I can tell that Crane is annoyed, and right as he finishes his sentence, click, the boot falls off my face and clatters to the ground. I don’t bother trying to fight Ryan again, I’m just happy to be able to talk!
“Well that’s a lot better, now, talk, I want answers.” I growl, Crane and Ryan seem surprised that I got the boot off but they talk, turns out, I’m what’s called a dragonkin a Human who has dragon genes in their genome, Lily and Ryan are also dragonkin, although they can’t breath fire, Lily has fangs and a venomous bite, turns out she’s the girl that bit me, and Ryan just looks weird, apparently we are the only dragonkin who evaded the organization that Crane works for, Called ‘Kadmus,’ into adulthood, Lily being found at 22, ryan at 20, and me at 24, on top of that, we are the only dragonkin who have survived that long, it’s at that moment that I notice Lily looking at us from behind some glass, I decide that I’ve heard enough and open the door, and I leave the room.
As I leave the room I can tell that Lily was not expecting me from the look on her face, I start a conversation with her, trying desperately to be friendly and not notice all the scientists glancing at me nervously.
“Hey, Lily, Right?” I say in the friendliest tone I can, “I’m James.” Lily looks at me with a calculating look before answering
“Hello, yeah my name is Lily, Lily Megan.” she clearly is wary of me, but I can tell a few things about her, making herself look small, clearly smarter than she lets on, seems shy,
“How did you get it off?” Lily breaks into my train of thought with the question,
“What?” I ask her, confused,
“The Boot, how did you get it off?” She gestures to the room where Crane and Ryan were having an argument, but more specifically to The Boot, laying on the ground
“Oh that? I once took a lockpicking class when I was younger.” I explain
“Huh, you mind teaching me that sometime?” She catches me off guard with that one, I can tell that she is being genuine so I agree, And we begin working out what time works best.

The next few weeks go by in a flash, but I’ll summarize it for you, I ended up getting my own room like Ryan and Lily, I start teaching Lily how to pick locks, and we end up having a few game nights where we played games like charades, poker, even monopoly, lets just say that we will never play monopoly again. However, the most important thing of all, we ended up finding another dragonkin! We aren’t sure what dragon ancestor he has, but we think he’s another eastern long tail, like Ryan, the new guy’s name is Dillian, He’s great, absolute goofball, he’s from Australia, and according to him, his family has never been anywhere but the land down under, weird, but the guy’s like a little brother to me, so it’s cool, and that catches you up. “Hey Dillian!” I lean my head into his room, “Wanna come hang out with the rest of us? It’s movie night!” Dillian just looks at me, unreadable, 

“Okay, your loss.” I try to hide how unnerving that look felt, but something doesn’t feel right. I go back to the lounge, where Ryan, Lily, and Crane are all waiting for me,
“Sorry guys, Dillian, isn’t up for it.” Lily looks at me disappointed,
“Aw man, and we're even watching Dune!” I just look at her with a sad look, but Ryan manages to lift the mood a little bit,
“Last time we let Crane pick the movie!” Crane just glares at Ryan, I can tell he’s about to lecture him so I just start the movie, around one hour in, boom, everything is blurry, and there is dust swirling, everything hurts. I see Lily and Ryan helping evacuate the scientists, I don’t see Crane anywhere! But that's when I see it, Cranes lab coat, soaked red and underneath a piece of rubble, I try to run towards it, but I can't stay on my legs, I call out,
“CRANE!” My friends hear me, they rush towards me and they see the lab coat, Lily tears up, Ryan is too stunned to speak, then we hear it, we hear him. Dillian, he’s laughing, laughing at the lab coat, laughing at us, My head snaps toward him, I feel the rage burning, my wings flare out, fire rises in my throat, I grab Dillian by the collar, and I roar,
“Do you think this is funny?!” Dillian just keeps laughing, “Crane is deadI!” Dillian looks at me, and he finally stops laughing, he pushes me off and spikes erupt from his skin, his tail wraps around my throat, and he growls,
“Don’t touch me you cretin, my ancestors were nearly wiped out by yours, I’m just returning the favor.” I look at him confused, Ryan seems to have been just as confused as me because he asked,
“What do you mean? The Eastern long tails have never had an issue with the Flying flame drakes.” Dillian just flicked his wrist and one of the spines shot out and nearly sliced Ryan’s head off!
“Do not compare the Wyrms to those foolish sky beasts! They have ruled the land for centuries!” Dillian roars, at this point I finally manage to choke out,
“Wyrm? Like the dragon inside the mountain Wyrm?” I struggle against his tail, I finally get a claw hooked under it and pull, it takes all of my strength to get my head loose and retreat, and then I see Dillian fully for the first time, pale skin covered in red spines and a long tail that could probably crush a normal humans windpipe, if I wasn’t a dragonkin I’d be dead.
“So, you do have a brain. Indeed, my ancestors were the Wyrms, Masters of the land, and the only dragons to be nearly forgotten by time, if it weren’t for the colony under Australia, I would not be a dragonkin.” Dillian snorts, and after saying his piece he leaped up, dived down, and bore through the earth, I try to go after him, but Lily holds me back,
“James you're hurt, and you would not stand a chance against him in your current state!” I hate to admit it, but it’s true, I would not stand a chance against Dillian, oh man, my leg hurts, I look at my left leg and I see that it has a shard of metal sticking out of it, and then everything feels heavy, I hear Lily yell out my name, but she sounds so far away, I don’t try and fight it, I just let the darkness envelope me, at least in the dark I can’t hurt, when I wake up I’m in the medical wing ha, it’s still funny, I have a bandage around my leg and then it all rushes back to me, Crane’s lab coat, Dillian laughing, the rage, everything, replaying over and over in my mind, I immediately try and stand up and I find a lot of difficulty in that, but I manage to stumble off the bed, I avoid putting weight on my leg, and I use my wings when necessary,
‘Well it’s about time you woke up, and here I was thinking that we had wasted time and resources.” I spin around to see a lady in a suit and glasses looking at me with a look of disdain,
“Hello, I am Dr. Leanne Vern, but you can call me Leanne. I am your new head researcher, I hope you are ready for your next few tests, Dr. Crane wasted a lot of time ‘bonding’ with you.” It’s right as she finishes that sentence when I feel the urge to make it her last, I feel rage burning under my skin and I glare at her with every last ounce of anger possible,
“What.” Either she didn’t get the memo or she is just a jerk, because she did not care, but either way I continued,
“Do you think that now is a good time to either ridicule Crane, or tell me that you need to run tests on me? I am not your lab rat” I grab her collar “I am not something you just get to boss around, If you say something like that again I will send you straight to the underworld where you belong.” I shove her back and go look for Lily and Ryan, I find them in the cafeteria, I get some food and sit down across from them,
“Mind if I sit here?” It clearly lightened the mood, but not even Ryan found the humor to reply, but we started to talk turns out I had been knocked out for two weeks, when I asked about Dillian Ryan tensed up, he explained to me that Dillian goes by ‘Death Wyrm’ now, he’s spent the last two weeks tormenting the city, and eventually I brought up Leanne,
“That Dr. Leanne is a jerk though, when I got out of the medical wing she just introduced herself, told me that she would run some tests and insulted Crane.” Lily seemed to agree because she replied,
“Yeah the first day she got here she told me I was ugly, and had me escorted into the testing chamber and forced me to fly for as long as I could or else I would get shocked.” Upon hearing this I feel rage flare up inside me, I flare out my wings and fly straight towards Leanne's office,
“You threatened Lily with being shocked?! What is wrong with you?” Leanne just looked at me stone faced and told me,
“You dragonkin are nothing but freaks that look interesting, you should not be treated like humans, you are tools.” I just stand there, shocked until the dam just breaks, I roared, I grabbed her by the collar and I slash her face with a claw,
“Tools? TOOLS?! The only tool in here is you! First you insult Crane, someone who died only two weeks ago! Then I learned you threatened one of my friends with a shock if they stopped playing your sick little game!” I feel the fire rise in my throat, I open my mouth, but then I see the look in her eyes, fear, absolute, paralyzing fear, I hesitate, and think to myself, oh my god, what am I doing? I release Leanne and walk out of the room, as I’m leaving I hear Leanne bellow from behind me,
“Where do you think you’re going?” I glare back, I don’t need to answer her, but because I know she will hurt my friends if I don’t I tell her what I’m doing, I explain.
“I’m going after Dillian, don’t try to stop me.” I can tell that Leanne is angry, I can feel her eyes shooting daggers at me, she clearly disagrees with me,
“Oh no you don’t, listen to me you bloated gecko, we did not spend millions tracking you down for you to play superhero!” I just walk away from her and go to the cafeteria to tell Lily and Ryan, they of course freak out at me, saying that I should not go after Dillian, that he’d kill me, and that I should stay here, but I look at them with all of the emotion in the world, I tell them
“Look, I know that Dillian would probably kill me, but I at least might tire him out enough for the police or military to stop him, but it’s more than that, I can’t let him hurt innocent people.” Lily and Ryan look at me, Lily hugs me, and tells me,
“Don’t you dare die or I will kill you.” I look at her, And I say to Ryan,
“I hope she’s joking.” Ryan looks at me and punches my arm,
“You are a good friend man, I hope you live through this.” I look at Ryan and Lily, knowing that this might be the last time I see them, I hug them both, and I flare out my wings and I fly off.

As I sped off towards Dillian, no, Death Wyrm, he stopped being Dillian when he killed Dr. Crane, one thought was going through my mind, am I going to survive this? It doesn’t really matter, as long as Death Wyrm gets what he deserves, when I arrive in the city I look around from above first, I decide to stop by my old apartment, I remember when My dad helped me find this place before he died, it has looked weird since I had my stuff moved into my room at the Kadmus site, I decide to sit down on the floor, when all of a sudden I hear a click and a secret safe opens from the wall. Inside I find a video message to me from my dad, along with an envelope, with the words for when I’m gone written on it, I look through the envelope and I find an old Kadmus keycard for my dad, so that's what his work was, I knew he was secretive but damn, A few other papers that talk about dragons, turns out, Kadmus had been looking into the dragons for years, although these papers are odd, as if my dad had prior knowledge of the dragons. The ball drops when I play the video message it says, 

>Hello, James, if you are watching this then I’m probably dead. In the envelope that you have found alongside this message, there is also my old keycard, it will give you full access to any Kadmus site. Along with my personal notes on the Flying flame drakes, the Eastern long tails, the Wyverns, and some vague knowledge of a supposed fourth dragon species, including some vague diet, and possible weaknesses, but if you’ve already read them, then that means you have seen that the Flying flame drake notes are more definitive, that’s because I am also a dragonkin, I only inherited physical strength from our ancestors, but I have a feeling you will have more characteristics, but I am saying this because you need to know the history behind our ancestors, and the rest.<
I look at the message and wait for it to continue, until a small piece of paper slips out of the metal box that is the message, when I open it I find out that in the beginning of the dragons, there were supposedly four species, the Flying flame drakes, the Eastern long tails, the Wyverns, and the Wyrms, until the Wyrms struck out, they had felt as though due to there inability to fly, that the other dragons thought less of them, the dragons were forced to lock away the Wyrms deep beneath what would one day be called Australia, and then man arose, and along with them the first dragonkin, Tiamat, a Flying flame dragonkin, as my dad called him, but the humans lived in fear of the dragons, eventually driving them to the bleeding cut edge of extinction using their advancing technology, eventually humans all but forgot about dragons, reducing them to myth or fairy tales. That was more or less all that was written, I committed all of this knowledge to memory, and then I heard a loud boom and some maniacal Dr. Doom esc laughing, I peer out of the window to see Death Wyrm, tormenting people, I leap out of the window and into the air, getting a good angle before dive bombing Death Wyrm, breathing fire on him and slashing him with my claws,
“Hey Dillian, did you miss me?” I laugh, I tried to pull a Ryan and joke myself into feeling confident, and it kinda helped, Death Wyrm roars out in rage,
“Why didn’t you stay out of my way?” He whips his tail up, shooting spines out at me, although thanks to my practice I manage to dodge them, I decide to not make a joke and just stay quiet for now, I remember something a security guard once told me, if the enemy is in range so are you, don’t just talk, actually attack, I know that I am in range for a fireblast but Dillian doesn’t know that, I shout out,
“Those spines must really hurt, but not as much as my claws!” I suddenly make a sharp turn and get in close with my talons, I first duck beneath Death Wyrms hook, and slash at his stomach, I then dodge a spine shot, and quickly follow up and through with a tail whip, knocking him off balance, then quickly blast fire right at his feet, but I didn’t see that Death Wyrms tail had grabbed my leg before it had already thrown me two blocks away, I was getting up when I felt a Burning pain in my arm, when I looked to see, it was one of Death Wyrms spines, It had only penetrated the outermost muscle tissue, I would heal in a few weeks but that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt like hades, I rip the spine out and breath fire on the wound in order to cauterize it, when I suddenly feel Death Wyrms tail around my throat, choking me, and I am all of a sudden pinned to a wall, with my mouth bound shut, great it’s the boot all over again, I see Death Wyrm, he’s grabbing the spine I ripped out, he walks towards me, and he gives me a small speech,
“You know James, if you weren’t so noble I’d actually have let you join me, I never wanted to kill you, but you leave me no choice.” He lifts the spike up, when all of a sudden he is blasted back seemingly by a freakishly strong gust of wind, wait, that's a thermal updraft, I turn to see the best sight I could have seen, Ryan and Lily! Ryan opens his mouth first and I couldn’t be more thankful for his humor,
“Nobody treats James like that but me!” He then flies into battle riding on a thermal, while Lily freed me, she slices through the binding on my mouth and I immediately ask,
“What are you guys doing here?” Lily opens her mouth to answer but Ryan cuts in with being thrown into a wall
“Me and Lily are saving you, idiot, speaking of which a little help here?” Me and Lilly help Ryan up and we all get ready for a fight, but before we can charge in, Lily hands me a headmic,
“Here put this on,” I do as she says and suddenly Leanne's voice buzzes in through the speaker,
“Well it’s about time,” I am just happy to have some help with knowing my surroundings,
“Whatever happened to ‘we didn’t spend millions tracking you for you to play superhero?’” If Leanne heard me she didn’t answer, I just started to run towards Death Wyrm, before I took off alongside Lily and Ryan, I felt a familiar rage build up in my veins, I allow the rage to drive me forward, I feel the heat, the fire, rushing to every vein in my body, building along with all of the rage in my life, I gather my thoughts, a raging body is good for combat but a raging mind is bad for victory, when this feeling washes over me, I finally feel calm, I feel at peace, I never want this feeling to end, I open my snout, and unleash a twisting, flowing, blooming tunnel of flames,wounding Death Wyrm and distracting him long enough for Ryan to swing in with a bladed tail to his back, followed by Lily, biting into Death wyrms tail, as Death Wyrm roars I dive in and I do something unexpected, I talk to him,
“Dillian, I thought of you as a little brother, but you killed someone I cared about, I am sorry but, we need to take you in.” Death Wyrm roars, he writhes, up until Lily’s venom takes hold and he falls to the ground, defeated, a news reporter had been, well reporting, nearby and walked up to me, and asked me for an interview,
“Under normal circumstances I would agree, but not right now.” I wave as I signal to Ryan, it takes an embarrassingly long time for him to get the hint that I want him to create a thermal under Death Wyrm in order to transport him, but he follows my lead, and before we know it, we are flying toward the Kadmus site, but as we fly, I yell behind me,
“Hey, go ahead, I’ll… I’ll catch up.” Lily looks at me while Ryan just zooms ahead, no questions asked,
“Okay what are you doing?” I just look at her, feeling conflicted about telling her about my dad, for all I know this could get me in trouble, or worse, I make a split second decision,
“I… I think I saw something.” surprisingly it works, I swoop back towards the city and back to my old apartment and I grab the message from my dad, his keycard and the papers, I then fly off with them clenched between my arms and my body, I then fly into the Kadmus site, and discreetly go to my room, in order to hide them, I then get out of the site, and fly back into it acting like nothing happened, and to my surprise, there was a celebration waiting for me, there was cake, and wine, and even a nice Irish whiskey, eventually I asked about Death Wyrm, and turns out he was placed in a secure facility, deep under the site, and that anyone with high enough clearance could go down there, I decide that that is probably for the best.
After the celebration, I go into my room, and pull out the message, I look over it, Dad was a big fan of puzzles, so maybe this message is a puzzle? After several minutes fiddling with it, the message began to whir, and it then showed a place for a fingerprint, gotcha, I placed my thumb on the finger print and it pricked me, like I was getting my blood drawn. After that a key fell out of the message box, and a keyhole on the side, I of course used the key, which then played a different message,

Hello James, and I know it's you who will be watching this, at the time of making this message I am about to help you “find” an apartment, this is one that will only play for other people if you give them access and get a blood sample, the key you used is a one of a kind, and allows you full access to pre-recorded messages, and answers for certain questions, I hope that there will come a time when you don’t need it, but, knowing you, you will probably forget what the messages say within an hour, but anyway, I hope that this helps you greatly, here is a list of topics that the message box can give you data on.< The video then becomes like an interactable encyclopedia, where I can read the list at my own pace, I skim through it before my eyes lock on one entry, Dr. Crane Williams, I open the entry and i read about Crane, turns out, he was my fathers research partner and close friend, and the two of them met in college because they had managed to win a competition that landed them tuition for any college of their choosing, and they became friends after my dad stopped somebody from messing with Crane, there was a whole lot more there about Cranes upbringing, his family, his education, but I had to cut it short when Leanne entered my room, unannounced,

“What are you doing?” She glared, in her usual condescending tone, I am not in the mood for this “Jump off a cliff.” I growl, as I tuck the message away, but she sees it, and by the look on her face she could tell what I was looking at, “Let me guess, a message you don’t want anybody seeing?” I hate her but damn it she can connect the dots well, “Was it obvious?” I don’t bother denying it, she’ll just be a jerk about it, “No, I’m just used to being lied to, who's the message from?” Leanne nods at the message box, 

“It’s from my dad, he apparently worked at Kadmus and was friends with Crane.” The fact that my dad both worked ant Kadmus and was friends with crane seem to shock her, what’s really shocking though is what she asks next,

“Was your dad by chance Shane O’Maley?” I look at her, confused, “He was, why?” Leanne immediately seems to get shell shock, as she starts to geek out, “James your father was pretty much science royalty, I would have done anything to speak to him, oh my god I insulted the dead friend of Shane O’Maley, and of his son!” I feel angry that she brought that up again, but now feels like I can get something good out of this, “Ok I’ll make you a deal, if you only do tests with me and the other dragonkin willing to do so, and make sure not to do things like threatening to shock us if we don’t do what you want, I’ll tell you stories about my dad, deal?” It was almost impressive how quickly she answered, 

“Deal! Shock threats, exhaustion tests, and anything else like that is gone!” I am really happy that I can do stuff like that. That is the best ability ever.*1
*1 WIP

MY COLLAGE FRIEND

hey there let's go for a erotic story

I mean this will be the best story you had ever listened, so first of all my name is Joe
so it all started when I was around 17 I had addicted to porn. i mean i started watching porn everyday and then masturbate, but then due to some self belief and internal feelings I left it as you know I got motivated from YouTube and successfully get rid from masturbation, it was a miracle for me.
afterwards when I turn 18 I got admission into a collage and decided to stay in the hostel after all. there I found that there were separate hostels for girls and boys and hence I had hoped for making a female friend who can talk with me and we both play and study together.
after a year I found that I had got many friends and somewhat female friends too. in there one girl named Lily. she was a attractive girl if I explain her body then she was petite meaning she was skinny and also with blonde hairs and she wears metal silver frame glasses, I mean I was like I love her, I don't know whether I can make her my friend or not but I thought I should give it a try.
after another year passed and I had successfully made her my friend, I know you are curious about how does this happen, talking about how does this happen I had tried to talk with her whenever I got chance and I think that she had also understanded me that I wanted to be her friend and so then she come by herself to make a good friendship, I was happy no happiest I can't explain how I feel, she was so kind and full of good humour
after collage last day I was like a best friend of her in male section as I always talk with her and crack jokes and fun, and she also seem to like it.
so after collage I invited her to be my guest in my house, my parents will definitely love it, by this she had first denied it for she thought that this is a fast decision but after my several requests she finally accept it, I feel a lot good inside.
so we came home my parents were happy to see me as I had come hack home after half year as collage have vacations on every 6 months and I came to spend my time with my parents, I introduces lily and made her to stay with my room.
yes of course I had taken her permission as if she feels uncomfortable in my room she can head to my room and I will sleep in living room. but she said that she is comfortable in there.
then at night she wearied her night dress it was kind of a very short cloth heading to her chest to below of her panties, I feel something but I think that she is my friend and then she and I went for sleep, as we had shifted to my new home my parents had a new double bed and the old double bad had given to me and it was in a good condition, so lily slept besides me.
when we are sleeping she was watching her phone and I acted as I was asleep but when I moved to her direction she took her phone away, I thought she is hiding something from me I pretended to be slept, she still had taken her phone away from my eyes as I think she was making it sure I don't watch her phone, I pretended to be in sleep after around 15 to 20 minutes. lily thought that now I am in a deep sleep she took her phone and I shocked she was watching porn, and as I see her another hand I found that she is trying to masturbate, I think I should have taken her chance and found to be done for it.
next day I wake up early and head to medical store to buy condom and then make it hide into my secret drawer in my room and then I spend my rest of the day enjoying with me parents and my friend lily.
now as we had dinner and watched tv, we finally gone for sleep and it was her last night for my house as she also wanted to go to her parents house to met them and to spend time with them.
then I asked what she was hiding from me, she said nothing interesting, I told her what I had seen, she blushed and said you finally got it huh I am feeling shy don't discuss about it huh
I took out my condom packet and shown to her, she said what are you thinking about it , she was like she wanted to do this with me from very past. I said yes and then I gone to bathroom and watched tutorial for how to wear it as I had never seen a condom I had just known that it avoids pregnancy and safe for mating, I wearied it and first came to lily with my shirt removed already, she said come on it is so fast.
I kissed her again do the same and like doing it for around 2 to 3 minutes, I took my hands and take it into her chest I found out that she had wearied a pink bra, she was like oh what you are going, I rapidly took my hand inside the bra and touched her boob and it was so soft and small and one more thing that I love small boobs girl, she had a small nipple which I just touched and rubbed softly and squeeze her boobs gently, after that I removed her single cloth I found that she had wearied pink bra and panties, I removed her bra while hugging, she was saying stop! stop! also she was smiling it meaning she wanted to do this but this is giving her some nice feeling.
after I came down the bed and make lily sit on a stool and then I set between her legs and then I sided her pink panties to left with my left arm, it was my first time watching pussy in real life, I had just watched it in porn videos, it was a clear white pussy that has no hairs meaning she had shaved pussy and it was very pleasureful , I took out her panties from her legs she had closed her legs so that I could not give a look at it, a opened her legs with my hands and it barely opened , when it opened I quickly get a look it was so nice with a soft vibrant pinkish colour and more beautiful as it is shaved I touched the top of its entrance and then the bottom and touched and rubbed it gently for some time, she again started to close her legs I quickly opened her legs more and just give a kiss to her pussy, she give a sound oh, then I quickly sound that it isn't smelly found that she keep her pussy so cleaned
I quickly touched my tongue on her pussy, she vibrated and then I started to move my tongue and she feel a lot tickled and vibrating more as it was her first time too, I touched her boobs and licked her pussy , her whole pussy was vibrating and she was feeling good
then I make her sleep in bed I slept onto her and kissed her still for a bit , then I moved down and put my face between her boobs and touched them both with my hands and then licked them too, then I again moved down and just kissed her belly it was so slim and good, I again moved below and kissed the upper part of the pussy where her panties lies and moved my lips gently down and finally reached to her pussy, I then started to put my finger into her pussy and she was telling no don't do it in a funny way, I moved it inside slowly I had a smooth entry and after letting my finger in and out from her pussy 2 to 3 times I found her pussy started to produce lubricant meaning she wanted to do it too mentally, I increased my fingering speed , and she was producing sounds like oh, uh,. then I gently licked it and touched all her body parts, then I opened me pants and put my cock into her pussy I had slowed it to much as I don't know whether I or she does feel pain she stopped smiling and when I injected my cock further she started telling that it is burning a bit but it is acceptable she said, as soon as I put my cock in it to get lubricated, and to get it much smoother I put my saliva in there too then it got smooth and she said that she is feeling some strange as something is going inside her and coming out she said that I should put it more further so it get more comfortable, I put my cock further and also fasted the speed, she shouted oh , I tell her to make low noise as her parents would know about this, I change her position and again started putting it again and like this I don't it for half a hour and it was midnight and finally she got satisfied but I do not so I keep it on more, she stopped feeling horny as she got satisfied but I know that I should do same for myself too, she said to stop as she is not liking it any more and she produced more sounds as she started feeling little pain, I do in and out more fast and she started producing high sound too, I covered her mouth with my hand and said her that it will be just more around 2 to 3 minutes, after about 5 minutes I feel satisfied too she was like huh finally and smiled at me and said it was a good experience isn't it
I accepted it and the next day she finally went and also promised to both of us to keep it a secret and it wouldn't happen again and be best friends forever.
that is it for today see you all tomorrow.
bye...

I (39f) sent my mother (Rita) a FB message telling her I needed to go No Contact for a month with very little detail.
The dynamic with Rita went awry several years ago after dealing with her opioid addiction, the roles kind of reversed and I felt more like the parent.
Rita got clean shortly after dating an old co-worker (while still married); after separating from her husband, she told me that she couldn't afford an apartment; I offered to move with her, to split the rent and even bought her a bed, living room furniture and a kitchenette. I had high hopes we'd start getting along more.
Rita insisted I meet her new guy (Clint) again, but this time as an adult. Let me preface this by saying, 10 year old me was in the right to "accidentally" spit chocolate milk at this guys face while he told me a joke.
He was creepy and tried too hard then and still does now.
I visited her new at Clint's place and while there he would (jokingly) make comments about wanting to see me in a bikini or me seeing him in a speedo. He would tell me he loves me 10-20 times within 5 minutes and joke about leaving Rita for me when she was within ear shot; she never said anything to him about these.
During quick polite goodbye hugs he would hold it for too long and try to kiss my neck, I continuously pulled my shoulders up to cover my neck and try to get away but he'd kiss my neck or ear. I told both of them numerous times I was not comfortable with it and after 4 visits and numerous complaints to my mom, it finally stopped but he labelled me as an ice queen.
Rita was making my nephew a birthday dinner and Clint came over to our house. He slapped my ass and cupped his hand before removing it; my nephew was outraged (so was I) and Rita laughed when she heard about it.
Before I moved back to my home town, I went to visit my mom and Clint with my dog, Buddy. Clint's son (Wes) was over and I felt safe coming back over for dinner because his son is a good guy; big mistake.
While I was sitting there listening to music with Rita and Wes, Clint comes back into the living room and sits on my lap and starts 'wiggling' around inappropriately- I told him to stop but he keeps doing it, I demand he stops and try to shove him off of me and he laughed; but he wasn't the only one laughing, Rita was too. I stared at her for 3 seconds and she dragged him off of me. I stood up, he sat down and I rudely said "you're lucky I didn't kick you in the balls, I should have", his response was "oh really?!" then I replied that I should have and his response is that he was only joking around and how I need to take a joke. I had told him numerous times to stop and he flat out refused to and only wiggled more. Rita reached for his hand, still laughing and said how "silly' he was and how that's one thing she likes about him. I sat closer to Wes and was going to stay until I hear him address Buddy (my dog) and say "Hey Buddy, tell your mommy she needs to grow a sense of humor"; with that, I grabbed Buddy's leash, my purse and started to leave when he shouts out "Did I OFFEND you?!", I screamed back at him and slammed the door behind us.
I've told Rita that I don't feel comfortable with him around, especially while he's drinking; she tried to assure me that he'd never do anything to me but said she'd talk to him. I moved to another town and made it abundantly clear that I do not want anything to do with him. I will be civil for her benefit but he gives me the creeps and is incredibly inappropriate with everyone - his daughter has lost friends because of his actions before.
Rita came down a couple weeks ago and took Clint to her friends place then we went out for mother's day; she asked if I would mind if she picked him up to cut time off her trip home - I understood and said sure. TLDR, he forced his way into my new home after I said I was not inviting them both inside and she was informed that he is NOT welcome here.
Rita recently went to a friends, had a few drinks and drove home, I was incredibly worried and told her so, to which she responded aggressively saying that she isn't stupid.
She sent numerous aggressive voice messages on Facebook, I decided to stop responding then Clint texted me, strongly suggested that I reach out to her because she's upset. I responded by saying 'Friends don't let friends drink and drive' and ignored him too. His unread response was that "she only had 2, if she drank more, trust me, I would have cabbed it." The math wasn't mathing, she said that they stayed there for 3 hours; I had called 2 hours after they got home and she was smashed, she definitely had more than what they let on and I do not trust him or his judgement because he lost his license because of a DUI. The morning I went No Contact she sent me messages assuring me that she was fine and that she wouldn't drink and drive; I refrained from responding.
Three days of no contact , I call her and we are civilized but both on edge, our conversation was very brief but I wanted to reach out - she is my mother after all and I would ideally like to have a relationship with her.
I messaged Rita and told her I need to go No Contact for 30 days to work things out professionally and mentally. She facetimed me 3 times, called twice, messaged me on FB and left voice messages on both my answering machine and Facebook. Comments ranging from "No contact from me or everyone?", "I'm really worried about you" and "please call me back". I responded and said "This is not about you, this is about me, please respect my wishes".
Am I the asshole for not telling her exactly why, being upset that she's going to my inner circle to try and find out what's going on and not being able to let go of her past and current short comings?
I'm on a waitlist for a therapist because I would like to build a better relationship with her and let the resentment go. I don't expect her to change but I need resources and need to learn how to set effective boundaries to act as stepping stones for future healthier conversations and interactions and hope that this break will help release the tension.

Hi, I'm just getting to learn about gnosticism because it seems to answear questions that I have and that traditional chrstianity do not answear satisfactory... I have been in the new age for a while , and involved with witchcraf. I had a calling from Jesus and I let go of all that and became a christian. The problem is, since that exact day I suffered severe backlash. I was demonicaly opressed for months, I ve been through multiple exorcisms, deliverances, that didnt seem to work. The timing of it was relevant, because no jokes, one day I put all my esoteric stuff in the trash the next day I start hearing voices and feeling stuff landing on me, different kind of "energies" (can't explain it better then that, it felt like when you try to bring two magnets together with the same side and you put your finger in the middle, you feel an energy between them that prevents them from touching. The opression was terrible, I went psychotic, then depressed, and now I have ptsd from it. The thing is, I followed everything there was to do to be freed from this, in the sens of christian conduct, but no matter how I prayed it just woudn't stop. I know it looks like mental illness (and yes at some point I got mentally ill) but I don't think the mental illness caused me to allucinate, more the opression caused me to go mentally Ill. The more interesting thing is it suddnly stop at NYE when I was so depressed, that my friend proposed me an MDMA pill. The moment the effect hit, I WAS INCREDBLE. At the very moment the effect hit, I fell like somthing was kicked out off of me, like somthing was attached to me and was violently propelled. Then I saw a vision of a triangle getting connected, the top of it was in my neck and the two sides closed in my shoulders. And as I saw it, like a vision, I felt an instant release, like some energy was blocked and started circulating again. I explain this experience by the fact the mdma gives you a rush of serotonin, as I call it "quantifiable love", and whatver was around me coundn't touch me anymore because it coudn't stand being around love. After that my depression came back and ptsd, but I never was demonicaly opresse like I was before that experience. And this is very contradictory for traditional christians "because drugs are from the devil" blabla, and everytime I talk to christians they blame me for not being delievered, like I didn't have enough faith, I'm pridefull, and never gave on sin in my mind blablabla, that's bigottery, because I tryed so hard, I spent months kind of pushing my self in what became an unhealthy instrospection trying to get rid of every character flaw I had the would be separating me from God, but nothing was ever good enough and the opression just woudn't stop. So I would like to know the gnostic vision on my experience? How do gnostics would explain all this opression? Why did it last so much? I'm aware of the gnostics view on Archons that might explain it better then just "the devil is after you, (wich becomes kinf of contradictory at somepoint because from christian perspective the devil would not be able to resist the fact that I spent hours and hours on prayer, that I gave up sin, basically he would have fleed right?) ... So I would be thankfull if someone could tell me the gnostic view on my exeperiences if you can. Thank you so much

So this one's a poem I don't necessarily have a name for. But I like to call it "meeting with the self". It's a feeling I sometimes get, when I feel like I can connect with myself? And I feel real. I feel unity. I thought it would be cool to share with you. Oh and if some verses sound weird, it's because I've tried to translate it from my own language and some words aren't really the same.
My blood began to burn in my veins when I first laid my eyes on you when I saw your dirty chest and your dry lips...
I ran towards the end of the hall You were waiting for me with open arms and shouting You were screaming at the top of your lungs but I couldn't hear you...
What were you saying? I keep wondering. And I seem to be running for hours walls keep rising in my way but I see you, I see you with my eyes and I'm not lying, I tell myself I'm not lying... I row like on a troubled sea Ships, fishing boats everything gets in my way but my eyes see you, I scream, but my eyes see you!
You're still there I'm reaching you, I'm getting closer My flesh melts and drowns In every self I left behind In every self that saw you With his own eyes... We are face to face, am I looking at you Or am I looking in the mirror? I held out a finger and you held out yours How come I don't run to anyone anymore? I held you in my arms I turned to the glass in front of me My hands were behind my back, around me. I look at the grimaces on my face Who were we running to? I started hugging you Hardly, as strongly as I could Not to lose you? To not get me lost.
There are burns going through all my skin and veins now that only leave ashes around and it's smoke, suffocating smoke I can't see anything around It's like I'm sleeping in deep waters. I jump, I hit the ground with my chest And the fire in my veins go out My temples are cooling There is glass everywhere I don't know what I'm seeing now But I can see only one thing which is my chest getting dirtier...

[21 F] 5’4” 145 lbs I’m not sure if I have any relevant diagnoses but I’ll list everything I’ve ever been told by a doc I have. I’m very literal and I want to follow the first rule as well as I can. Mental: adhd (revoked), cptsd with dissociation, depression, ppd, and was in process of being diagnosed with BPD, experienced psychosis Physical: bursitis on hips, bone deterioration in hips, TMJ (orthodontist, dentist, OMT Specialist all said my jaw was permanently dislocated and would need surgery or something), hypothyroidism, chronic tonsillitis, chronic bladder infections as child, and at one point minor back spasms.
I was in a RZR accident as a teen where we flipped uphill. No medical attention provided as I didn’t have health insurance and my parents wouldn’t take me. Then in a car accident at 18 with no medical attention. Finally another car accident where I was rear ended on the highway and did seek medical attention. X-ray is what led the DR to tell me I did have minor bone deterioration. My brother would also hold me in an arm lock on both arms until my shoulder would pop and be painful to move after constantly when I was a kid. Not sure if that would cause spasms in my arms.
suspected POTS (multiple fainting spells as a kid, once hit my head and went unconscious but was screaming/shaking; now I can recognize when I’m about to go down)
I am a cannabis smoker but I’m getting sober for work. I have used LSD, molly, xtc, mdma, ketamine, Xanax, nicotine, shrooms, and alcohol and other pills. Nothing was ever long term use, mostly just once or twice. I do believe I overdosed on xtc.
I don’t currently take medications.
Anyways, I’m having this consistent problem as mentioned in the title. My entire body spasms and twitches and moved uncontrollably throughout the entire day. Sometimes it’s worse and other times I forget about it.
I can have eye muscle spasms and I constantly have little muscle spasms throughout my legs, back, arms and sometimes feet. Never painful just tiny little areas and you can see it happen. My legs jerk around usually inwards towards the other leg, or my toes will randomly clench for a split second, my leg will lift up from the knee or I will suddenly bring my foot inwards to my butt. My arms/hand will jerk outwards or my fingers will twitch/curl in. Or my hip or shoulders will just like jerk quickly on its own. My head will also jerk in different directions. Again all of this happens within seconds and is painless. On bad days it just happens consistently and I usually ignore this. Sometimes though I get much stronger and more painful symptoms. I will experience acute burning/itching in my legs that hurt for a fraction of time that cause my legs to shake/jerk/tremospasm (not sure how to best describe it) involuntarily. Sometimes it happens only once or twice but has lasted minutes. The closest thing I can compare to the feeling is the zap I got during my epidural.
I’m not sure if it’s something everyone experienced or if I should get it checked out. Any advice, ideas, etc is very welcome. I am starting a partially physical laborer job and want to make sure this isn’t something that could possibly put my in danger hauling the product or when I’m running the machinery.

Hello, just want to see if you read this page, does it pique your interest enough that you'd keep reading. Trying to test some different intros. Thanks!

It was the third village this year. Barely any signs of struggle, houses intact, nothing valuable stolen. Nothing out of the ordinary except for one thing: all the people were gone.
Warden Hyukos stood in the village square, the only signs of movement coming from his men who patrolled the empty streets. The sun was beginning to set and the quiet wood houses cast long shifting shadows on the road, the sound of cicadas buzzing softly in the trees. Though it was a quite pleasant summer evening, making sweat run down his neck into his tunic, he shivered. He didn’t like this one bit.
Someone tapped his shoulder and he nearly jumped out of his skin.
“By the stars, Kyurias, nearly gave me a heart attack.”
“Sorry, sir.”
“Well, what have you to report? Have you found anyone?”
“No, sir.”
“Then what is it?”
“We just received a message from the magistrate.”
“And?”
“It looks like the capital is sending someone to assist in the investigation.”
Damn it, Warden Hyukos thought. The bleeding capital? He’d been investigating these disappearances for nearly a year now, with absolutely nothing to show for it. Not only did it look bad on him, it embarrassed the magistrate, and he wasn’t a man to embarrass. He ran a hand through his hair, which was acquiring more white strands everyday it seemed. He sighed slowly.
“Alright. Who are they sending?”
“Uhm. Well, according to the message, if it can be believed–”
“Just spit it out, who is it? Some minor lord’s hireling?”
“Eo Akami, sir.”
Some spit caught in the warden’s throat and he hacked a cough into his elbow.
“What, the bleeding archmage?”
“Er, according to the messenger, yes.”
“You’re telling me that Eo Akami, the war hero, the bleeding Red Mage, is coming all the way from the capital to the backwoods of the Wild North to help us look for some missing peasants?”
“That’s what he said. Like I was saying, the messenger in question, Junias, has been known to embellish or otherwise exaggerate the importance of his charges, just last week he ran a message from the magistrate’s cook to the local butcher, regarding the procurement of venison, and naturally–”
“Alright, alright, Kyruias, I get the point, don’t need every bleeding detail, do I? Just take me to Junias and I’ll question him myself.”
Kyurias led him down the darkening dirt road, his hand resting on the pommel of his sword. Hyukos pulled a rolled up parchment from his pouch, unraveled it, and placed his left hand on the complex pattern of ink inscribed. The pattern glowed gold and illuminated a 10 foot radius around them. He fastened the glowing parchment to his belt. The messenger was clearly exaggerating. Nobody of import had any interest in the coming and goings of the Wild North, much less an archmage to the king. He was under enough stress lately as it was, and he was in the mind to take it out on this Junias for adding to his increasing supply of white hairs.

I (15F) and my Older sister Eli (22F) have gotten along for most of my childhood, I remember her as my hero and Shield for helping me and my younger sister Luz (12F) to not get grounded. But over the past few years I can see how she changed as a person, for context, I was her first course of help and advise before my parents because I was well known for knowing more than a 30 year old person, I was the first one to know when she decided to get married at the age of 18 with her now ex Vincent (21M). I was her Bridesmaids and the one that helped her thought the whole thing, like choices of dresses and Make-up, as well as Hair, basically her right hand.
Not long after the marriage Vincent came to my parents house, asking if we've seen her wife, apparently, they got into a fight over some texts on Eli's phone during a party, Vincent was mad, as he had a right to be, his mother was on his side as my mom and dad called Eli with no response. This happened one day before my 13th birthday, I was upset as to why she had runned away and not told me anything as she did always. The next day Eli came to my parents house for some clothes, she looked miserable, she told my dad she was staying over her Grandparents (me and her are only related thanks to my father), my father got mad at her, and she cried in me and now Luz' room for at least an hour, I said nothing because my father told me to.
For months we lost contact with her, and we didn't knew were or with who she was. Until she actually reached out to us, se tried to fix her relationship with Us over gifts, visits and even calls, my mom and dad Helped Eli thought the whole divorce process, everything was okay until we lost contact with her once again. My mom was pissed but said nothing, as well as my dad. Some months later we come to contact again, she told us she had some problems with her partner (who I just had the chance to meet like five times), but everything was okay now. Until her partner died from Blood cancer, she was devastated and she slept with us for a few days, during those few days I stayed up all night to watch over her (me and my sisters slept in the same room and bed), as she talked and moved during her sleep, I bought a night lamp so she could fell secure as she was now scared of darkness, and my mother noticed, she thanked me for taking care of Eli and Luz during sleep.
Our relationship grew, until she found another partner, and left her old MIL's house. Her partner was really chill, overall a great guy, but I never got to meet him fully. They broke up at least 2 times and got back before actually breaking up because the guy cheated. Not a month latter Eli got another partner, During that time as she lived in my parents house, she got into a Fight/Chat with my mom, I was present to whole thing where she claimed she had Depression, anxiety and other problems I can't recall, she never actually went to therapy so she was self diagnosing herself (I hate when people do that). During the fight she claimed that no one cares about her and she had to endure everything alone basically forgetting how I stayed up at night watching over her, helping her to distract herself on other stuff, taking her side at most fights etcetera. I told her "You have a family who cares about you, if you can't see that, is your problem because you're so selfish and Mentally unstable" She looked at me with shocked eyes as I was always a person to keep silent during fights, she told me to not get into the fight as it wasn't none of my business, I told her to suck it up because it was the truth and I went to sleep.
She became distant of me and I didn't mind, I had my friends to distract myself from my family problems. She had at least 2 or 3 other relationships after the during fight guy. She got with a guy who I don't like in any way a few months ago, she now lives with him. She had at least fought with him over 5 times, everytime she "Broke up" with him she would go with me and my mom, Telling us how she will not come back with him because of how he and his mother treats her, at one point my mom got mad, and my dad had to give Eli a long talk as he always did when something wrong happened.
1 month ago my dad died from a heart attack and blood cancer related. I was the one to maintain my composure for more long, i basically helped the rest of my family during the whole funeral, watching over my sister and mother when they slept. Eli cried, saying how she didn't said she loved my dad enough, or that she had a lot to things to apologize for, she hugged the box for the longest as my mother cried uncontrollably, mainly my two sisters and mom cried in my shoulders and chest as I only let some tears go.
We became more closer with my sister, only two days later Eli told us that her MIL told her to suck up her pain as my dad was already dead and another stuff (she sent us an audio of her MIL saying this). I obviously got mad and I told her to tell her MIL to f off.
In the 9th day of my dad's passing (as my dad's family is very religious) they made a praying, I didn't felt good and Eli took me outside, I talked to her and I cried so hard on her shoulder, my eyes where swollen and I could barely Oppen them. She told me that I could rely on her anytime I wanted, going to the beach, for a walk, anytime I wished. Everything went well until her birthday a few weeks ago. We visited and cleaned my dads grave, she told us how her partner called her all sorts of hurtful names because the guy saw her with another dude on a bike (her best friends boyfriend), she told us how her MIL called her name's and made her the bay guy, Bethen other things. She told us she was not going to get back with him, two days latter she went out with her friend, she didn't came Back until 9am the next day, apparently she went back with her "ex" over some cute words he told her, and that was it. Shes now on a business trip, she's posting stuff with her boyfriend and cute stuff that I now find disgusting realising how toxic that couple is.
I realised that Eli can't be without a man, I don't know what to do or what to tell her so she could realize that he's not the one as she said in her WhatsApp status. I can't let her live like this, i really care about her, i suggested therapy but she brushed it off, my mother told me to let her go, but I don't want Eli to end in the streets, or something to happen to her. She's my sister and I care about her, but anytime I want to talk to her privately my mother tells me to not do it and that is not worth it.
So, AITAH for wanting to slap some common sense into my sister?

Keep in mind I am a 100m 200m 400m and Long jumper
Monday-Max speed/Plyos/Legs
20m flys x4
60m sprints x2
Depth jumps 4x3
Pop up broad jumps 4x3
Weighted squat jumps 4x4
Power cleans 4x2
Quarter pin squats 4x3
Bulgarian split squats 5x5 (Each leg)
Nordic curls 4x5
Hip thrusts 5x5
Calve raises 2x15
Tuesday-Back/Biceps/Core
Pull ups 5x5
Deadlifts 3x3
Back extensions 2x10
Bent over barbell rows 3x8
Dumbell shrugs 3x10
Bicep curls 2x10
Ab roll outs 3x5
Leg raises 2x15
Side planks 2 x 1 minute (Each side)
Wednesday-Chest/Shoulders/Triceps/Core
Bench press 5x5
Dips 4x5
Push ups 2x15
Shoulder press 3x8
Lateral raises 3x8
Tricep pushdowns 2x10
Ab roll outs 3x5
Leg raises 2x15
Side planks 2 x 1 minute (Each side)
Thursday-Max speed/Plyos/Legs
30m flys x3
20m hill sprints or sled sprints x5
Depth jumps 4x3
Single leg bounds 3x10m (Each leg)
Hip flexor training 2x15 (Each leg)
Power cleans 4x2
Half pin squats 4x3
Squats 5x5
Hip thrusts 5x5
Romanian deadlifs 3x8
Calve raises 2x15
Friday-Rest
Saturday-Isometrics/Joint/Tendon/Ligament health
Single leg ankle iso 2x10 sec (Each leg)
Single leg bent knee iso 2x10 sec (Each leg)
Single leg glute bridge iso 2x10 sec (Each leg)
Quad extension iso 2x30 sec (Each leg)
Wall sit 2x30 sec
Backward incline treadmill walk 5 min
Tibialis raises 2x Failure (Each leg)
Sunday-Rest

disclaimer : I am not endorsing or advertising for anyone to buy the Sri vatsa tracing I cited in the article. moderators, if you think it should be omitted, please let me know. also, no entity connected to the temple in any way is advertising through this.
DETAILS ABOUT ORNAMENTS AND FUTURE INFO ABOUT POSTURE
in my previous post we discussed only a general overview and his feet. also, some measurements . now we discuss the ornaments present in the idol (integral)
note : I am not talking about gold ornaments which are man made
BELT AREA
there are 4 belt like structures here. there is a large "buckler" in front in the middle. it has a "simha mukha" to it. this is generally found in South Indian idols, as a sign of warding off the negative eye.
there are round disc-like structures on the belt, decoratively.
there is a tight band below called the KATIBANDHA , near to the groin area.
below this, is a decorative drooping chain , falling half-way down to near the knees.
on the left side, tucking into the belt , the handle of a Dagger (CHURIKA ) can be made out. there is no sword on the idol, only a half-visible dagger on the left.
this is not visible after decoration, as there are too many ornaments, and a sword is used instead of a dagger for decor.
slightly above the navel , is a think band ( UDARABANDHA). it is very thick and tight. it is plain without any designs or motifs
everything seen here is fully formed on the back. there is no flat rock like base , like generally seen in other idols. everything is 360 degrees.
CHEST AREA
the Chest is strong and wide. the nipples are very prominent. there are no breasts , but the nipples can be very clearly seen.
at the corners of the chest , from shoulder to armpit, deep scars, run on both sides. they are also seen on the backside. characteristic of someone who regularly wears a pack of arrows ( devotee of Lord SRI Rama - rejoice !! )
THE SRIVATSA MARK - MOST IMPORTANT FEATURE IN CHEST AREA
Vishnu idols contain a mark called Sri vatsa. its shape and size varies a lot . it is like a triangle, or like a diamond , and sometimes like a knot (figure of 8 knot ) .
the most unique feature of this idol, is the Sri vatsa here is a fully formed Lakshmi .
this is located on the right chest, above the right nipple .
Due to the very large size of the main idol, it is possible to make out all the features even though the mark is small. it's roughly around 4 inches vertical and 3 inches diagonal. I will share a drawing of what this goddess looks like.
she has 2-arms ,seated in lotus pose (padmasana) on a lotus seat, inside a triangle .
this mark is fully integral to the idol, and has been a subject of great interest. it is exquisitely shaped with very tiny details . even the face and hands can be made out .
as such it is possible to take a Tracing of this mark , and the priests regularly do so on every Friday.
they use a paste of sandalwood, mixed with turmeric and various other items, and press it to the chest of the lord. a very clear impression of the goddess forms in this.
this impression is usually taken as 1 each for the priests doing the service on that day. 1 for the Jeeyangar trust, 1 for the TTD officials , and 1 for the acharya Purshas.
as this has been happening for a long time (hundreds of years), most of them have multiple copies of the impression. the surpluses now are shared with devotees.
( I don't want to debate the ethics of selling it for a certain price. the demand for it is a million times more than the supply. hence they started selling it. also, there were bitter fights by all entities who wanted them to generate more and who should be given. it was resolved to sell it - this is legally done. the ethics maybe not acceptable to some- but It is beyond the scope of this article)
those devotees who want to obtain this, can obtain it in 3 ways.

• high level government contacts, especially endowments department, IAS officials, or TTD officials.
• the Jeeyangar trust. they have the privilege of receiving the first impression on every Friday. you can ask in their mutt for it.
• The vaikhanasa Archaka residence , located on the north side of the temple, beyond the temple tank. you may go and ask there. they may tell you to wait for some weeks. sometimes, they might give it away for free as well. ( but usually the wait time is extensive - there are people willing to pay 10 times more than the price they usually quote which is actually not as much as you might think.

many times, they deliberately pick a person at random and give it away, but you need to first go and and ask them, to be a list.
all sources other than the above 3 are selling fake ones on the market. for devotees who want to obtain this highly-prized possession, please don't fall into the trap.
I have personally seen people who paid exorbitant sums of money and got fake ones . I think it's best not to be so desperate. it's a priceless possession for sure, But Lakshmi devi's blessings will surely be there even without it.
THE YAGNOPAVEETA - the second important feature
there is a unique yagnopaveeta called the PRALAMBA BRAHMA SUTRA. it is made of 6 strands (signifies that he is married , 3 for the husband and 3 for the wife ) . there are some curious points here. it is also exceptionally long, and cane traced underneath the belts all the way upto his knees, ( hence the word - PRALAMBA - extra long ) and runs backwards.
unlike other idols, it only has 2 knots. also, its much thicker and heavier than upaveetas found in other idols. it runs down the length across his torso, but 1 strand cuts away also run to the left side going backwards, and never rejoins the rest. there seem to be some kind of inscriptions on the knots, which no one can understand . the script is unknown .
the entire yagnopaveeta can be fully traced on the backside also.
note : within vaishnavism, this yagnopaveeta and the srivasta mark are used to identify 2 other idols, which resemble vishnu in all other respects. one is VISVAKSENA ( SENAI MUDALIAR) and the other is VIKHANASA MUNI. these features are absent on them. the agama specifies that they should be absent.
also , by Puranas, those who attain lord vishnu's abode, may be blessed with his four ( 4 -arms etc . but these features would be absent in them - this is stated across so many scriptures that I cant even quote here )
CHEST JEWELLERY
there are 4 rows of necklaces each successively longer. on the lowest necklace there is a central round-oval with 4 petals on each side - the Kaustubha mani . its not very big in size unlike certain other idols.
all necklaces run to the back, and their knots and strings are clearly visible on the backside, running till the middle of the back.
THE VAIJAYANTI HAARA and the VANAMALA ( both are not the same) are absent on the idol.

Hi, I’m a 22 year old female. I wouldn’t say I live an unhealthy lifestyle but I do vape and am overweight. I take Zepbound as well to assist in weight loss. Over the last week I have been to the ER twice and had two EMS visits since April. EKG and Troponin levels always come back fine. On the 27th I noticed I was having jaw and chest pain. The ER wrote me off saying I was young. As the days progressed the jaw pain got EXTREMELY immense, went back to the ER they said everything was fine. I am losing my mind. It’s like everyday I feel something new that’s cause for concern. I honestly think I’m gonna go into cardiac arrest soon. I cannot sleep. I don’t feel like myself. I don’t have a cardiologist appointment until June 6th, I’m not sure if I can make it until then. Sorry for the long post but I am truly scared. Something is wrong with me. I can’t put my finger on it. I feel like the ER can only tell you if you had or are in the midst of having a cardiac event, not if you have an oncoming one. I don’t want this spoken into existence but I just cannot mentally take this. Today was shoulder blade pain and now I can taste throw up in my mouth I guess you can say indigestion.

Random lang. So after ng haircut usually may pakonting massage mga barber dito, shoulder, upper back and neck lang mostly. Di naman kasama sa bayad. Just a short massage lang to relax yung muscles. But yung kanina, hindi lang shoulder, upper back and neck, pati biceps ko bigla nang minassage nagulat ako slight. And idk if massage ba yun, kasi pinipinch or kurot lang nya repeatedly biceps ko lol. Parang di naman nakahelp. So nagtaka lang ako what was that? Btw its those types of barbershops na sa side ng street, yung pangmasa.

i just need to get this off my chest but im so angry and she didn't even do shit except put her hand around my neck. it was all because i told her to get out of my face and stop yelling at me and she instinctively went to try to choke and scratch my neck (she did it all the time to my dad during fights) and then i pushed her away from me.
she proceeded to yell at my dad to call the cops because i pushed her and i was like "WTF you literally just put your hands on my neck" and my dad was about to call the cops on her and im just in shock at this point im upset obviously but at the same time im just so used to her being so violent it doesn't even matter to me that she even attempted to hurt me
it's like the older i get the more she realizes im becoming my own person that she cant control too ugh