What's up guys, its Big_Orchid here on my other reddit account. Here's my whole regimen and some notes to help you all out!
Organic Herbs (Everything taken in the morning and at night)

• Wild whole cloves, not dried
• Green Walnut Hull
• Prickly ash bark
• Slipper elm inner bark
• Greater Burdock Root
• Dandelion Root
• Cat's claw (twice a day)
• Plantain leaf
• Wormwood
• Mary Ruth’s Organic Mushroom Complex
• Olive Leaf Extract
• Colloidal Silver
• Oregano oil (rub 2 drops on your spine also) Since it is very potent, use it for 14 days, then take a break for 14 days to avoid damaging the liver.
• 3% Food Grade Hydrogen Peroxide (used for cleaning fruits)
• Cilantro (yes it’s a vegetable but it is a natural chlorophyll building plant that pulls metals and toxins out of the body. Can just put some in your teas)

Organic Raw Fruits

• Pears
  
• Red/Purple grapes with seeds are most powerful, seedless or green grapes is acceptable
  
• Mangos
  
• Oranges (no orange juice unless squeezed yourself)
  
• Pineapple
  
• Berries
  
• Watermelon
  
• Raw/Unfiltered/unheated honey
  
• Raw Apple Cider Vinegar (has antifungal properties)
  
• No L-Arginine fruits, only L-Lysine fruits (only recommend the fruits above)
  
• Wash the fruits in a bowl of distilled water and some food-grade hydrogen peroxide
  

IGG Bloodwork

• Should get western blot test if you can
• Below 0.90 is negative
• If you are between a 2.0-10.1 then you need a 10+ week detox
• If you are 10.0+ then you need a 14+ week detox

Notes

• Once you come out negative, you must still stay on the protocol for at LEAST 1 more month to ensure you are healed, then get tested again for reassurance. Stay on the fruits and herbs!
• Use Food Grade hydrogen peroxide and distilled water to wash your fruits
• Herpes is not a virus. It is a parasitic that comes with a viral load. Always keep that in mind.
• Hydrogen water is beneficial, since it oxygenates the body. You can buy a nice one on Amazon for like $80 and you should only put spring water in it.
• Sea moss is actually bad for herpes, it does not help unless its purple sea moss but sea moss overall is not needed
• Greens slow down the herpes healing process, just stick to only l-lysine fruits. Only if the greens are juiced, then they are accepted.
• Hemp seeds and nuts slows down the healing process
• Yahki Awakened has a $400 parasite cleanse bundle with most of the herbs you need. Not sure if it's 2 months worth, but probably only 1 month's worth. Does not say on website
• Stay disciplined. The longer you stay on protocol, the shorter the amount of time it will take to cure yourself. No cheating. No caffeine, sugar, alcohol, processed foods, vegetables, no jacking off, nothing. Stay true to yourself.
• Everyday things are very important also…. For example the clothes you wear should be 100% organic cotton or linen (at least your underwear, socks, and shirts). Your toothpaste should be organic and no fluoride. Your soap/shampoo/lotion should be organic. Your toothbrush should be made out of bamboo. Your toilet paper should be bamboo and BPA free/Bleach free. Your everyday cleaning supplies should be organic oils. Laundry detergent should be organic. Drink out of glass not plastic. You should have a showerhead filter so you’re not showering in warm chemical tap water which your skin absorbs, believe it or not. You see how deep this goes? Everything nowadays is poison and affecting you and you don't even know it….
• If you live somewhere where you can do ozone therapy, by ALL MEANS do it. In general, ozone is introduced to the body either through intravenous infusion, ozone sauna, direct injection into specific body areas or via inhalation. It can also be delivered as a topical cream or gel applied directly to the skin. I think the ozone sauna is the best option.
• Do not drink store-bought fruit juices even if they’re organic. They are pasteurized and all it is is sugar and water now. You must juice the fruits yourself or find something that's “raw cold pressed juice.”
• Stay away from bleach, super super toxic. Just like I said too, make sure all your cleaning products are organic essential oils.
• Stay away from radiation as much as you can. Some examples would include not living near a 5G cell tower, not using your phone that much, putting your phone on airplane mode if it’s in your pocket, not sleeping near wifi routers, turning off your wifi routers during sleep even, don’t use your laptop on your lap, etc.
• Diseases are not real. All it is, is the body naturally healing itself by creating detoxification symptoms.
• Aqua Panna is the best spring water since it's in glass and contains no contaminants compared to other spring water. It is quite expensive though.
• A good organic all natural multi-purpose cleaner you can make yourself would be concentrated lemon juice, concentrated lime juice, 35% food grade hydrogen peroxide, and some spring water. Or you can do spring water, vinegar, and baking soda.
• A good organic natural deodorant would be just limes or lemons. Squeeze them and then rub them underneath your pits.
• Lymph Node massages are very good to clear you out. Could do them once a week, but it’s expensive, so 1-2 times a month is fine. But if you just go outside and jump up and down on a “rebounder” for 10-20 minutes you can get your lymph nodes moving.

Daily Health Routines

• Getting sunlight for at least 1 hour. Sunlight is very important, it is the source of all energy. Tan your whole body too if possible (meaning fully naked)
• Grounding for 1 hour to reduce inflammation (or just get organic cotton grounding bed sheets for $100)
• Utilize deep Breathing exercises to oxygenate the body
• Meditate each day/night for 15-30 minutes to calm the mind and body
• Say to the universe out loud, “I am cured of herpes” Speaking in the present tense is better than saying “I will” or “I can” because you are re-affirming to the universe that it’s already here, not in the future, because only the PRESENT exists. The past and future do not exist.
• If you are a man, semen retention is required. If you HAVE to ejaculate cause you're mentally weak, then do so once a week MAX.
• Sleep is very important. Should not be going to bed super late and getting at least 8-9 hours of good sleep a night. Optimally going to bed around 10pm-11pm and waking up around 7am-8am is optimal.
• Go on walks alone for 20-30 min. Let your thoughts flow. Listen to some synthwave and realize how blessed you are to be alive and breathing and outside.
• If you workout only go 2-3 times a week and do low weight high reps.

This is the actually first time I am going to be 100% transparent without making jokes about what happened in my life, or try actually. Uh hi I have 15 years and I'm making 16 this year, I already learned English very early because of my Access to the internet, but even so my life has been a hell. Since I was younger my parents always argued, and sometimes my dad throw something's at my mom, never hurted her but me and my sister always saw everything, they argued and got back together, they were always angry and that's why they discounted everything on me and my sister. When my mom got a job she barely appeared at home, like my dad, and she didn't make that much of food, she would be in her phone sometimes and ignore me and my sister, and sometimes she just said she hadn't had time to make, my sister was young and had to clean all the house and take care of me, and by the time I was already felling pretty miserable, one day my dad and my sister had a fight because my dad was angry because she didn't came back home from her boyfriend but he didn't told her the time to come back, and then I saw he hit her in front of me, than my grandma came and did nothing, she always defend my dad even if he is wrong... Then things got complicated with my mom and my sister, my dad moved out of the house, and I was getting worse, the my mom kicked my sister out of the house, my mom barely was at home, I didn't wanted to go to school, and it kinda clicked I had depression, my mom was in her mom's house and my dad was taking care of me, he took me to the medic and after some weeks he didn't really cared about what I felt, I thought that living with him was going to be better then living with my mom, because she didn't noticed I wasn't well and focused on her job, and didn't made food, sometimes I had to make something for me to eat or she would ask a fast food, something like this. When I started living with my father everything started went well, I don't know where went wrong, my dad has a very bad angry problem, he see the minor mistake I make and he puts an argument, I had to clean all the house and when he got home he didn't helped me with anything, I understand he go to work but he don't even wash a bowl or a fork, and even in the weekends he doesn't help at all, and when I forget to clean one thing he gets mad and says he cleans everything, and when I told about my sister about this, she defended him, even though I showed I was uncomfortable with this, I don't think talking with him about it will help it, it something he do since I was born, he isn't going to change, the only moments he doesn't argue with me is when I am sick, so I pray I get terrible sick and eat less, and as a bonus my depression got worse because nobody was taking me to therapy, and I was getting worse like I was getting when I was with my mom, and he though it was laziness, and one day he argued with me and I was completely done, and how "lucky" I am, to add even more fears, I had the luck to be born in a place to have a flood, I never expected it to happen, I lost almost everything, spend a month with my mom in an apartment where I couldn't even leave, it was a hell, without energy for one month, and now I came to visit my house and I don't even feel like that's my house anymore...
Coming straight to the point: If I live with my mom, she will do some things wrong sometimes, but she don't argue with me and care about my wellbeing, and she was the only one who noticed how much I was sleeping and not eating properly, maybe I am sick, but if I stay with her, my dad will be sad I left him because I said some time ago I wanted to be with him, and my sister will be pissed because I choose to be with my mother, me and her are like opposites, my mom traumatized her more and our dad traumatized me more
But if I stay with my dad, I am going to clean all the house for him, even put his clothes in his closet, it's the point that he really does nothing because his mom make his bed, and he has only 40, and I'm going to lead with him arguing with me everyday, but at least my sister will be happy.
This is my point of the view, I know my dad is not evil, he went through a lot but he doesn't need to discount everything on me, I can help in the house, I will help, but if he just clean his dishes I will be happy
My sister is not bad too, she was traumatized by my mom, that's why she doesn't like her, she doesn't understand my side so it's difficult to talk to her
my mom is not a saint, she did a lot of things wrong, but she is trying to get better, I am conving her to go to therapy and do what makes she happy
And I am not going to say I am 100% innocent, I could be a lot better, I am not a saint
Honestly what I am going to do now? Sleep and hopes tomorrow will be a better day, probably in the future I will do an autism test because I apparently may have autism along side with anxiety and depression, I swear to god, if there's a bingo I'm going to complete it, give me the price please ☝️
(Btw that's not the whole story, there's other things that happened too, like divorce, my mom freaking out, my freaking out in school, fight with my aunt and my mom and other things)
Who know, I might write a book 🤩😍🥰
Take care everyone, if I'm going through that, you can too, you guys are amazing, you guys are stars, continue to shine ✨

My husband is a sweet, and kindhearted man. He likes to fix things, he’s gentle, and he’s always got the best intentions.
However, we got married in November & it’s been so downhill. He said he was getting depressed and lonely with his stay at home job, so he wanted a cat. I have to take Claritin-D daily to manage my allergies, but I agreed because of how excited he finally seemed about something. He agreed to vacuum everyday to help me manage my allergies & he said he understood how much work a kitten takes.
Long story short, he does empty their auto litter box 1x a week… but that’s about it. He has vacuumed maybe 1x since November, and only because I asked. I wake up at 7am every morning to give the cats soup (when he is already up for work at 7… so I said he can just give it bc he’s up already vs me being woken up by the kitten yeowling, and he agreed, but only does it when I hound him. He doesn’t play with them unless I nag either.
I’ve gone back to work as a flight attendant, and I’m just so sick of coming home to dirty dishes in the sink, a dirty floor, cats with dirty faces that need to be groomed and played with, no food in the fridge for me, etc.. He claims he does all the laundry, but throwing them into the washedryer and LEAVING THEM for a week until we have another basket full of laundry doesn’t count….
When he went on a weeklong fishing trip in Mexico, he came home to dinner being made, floor were clean, bed was made, & I even set up a massage table with oils and gave him a full body massage. I warmed up his towel as he washed up in the shower, unpacked his suitcase for him entirely, and did a new load of laundry (the rest was already done before he returned). I took out the trash, cut up all the boxes to be recycled, pulled weeds in the backyard, etc..
I’ve tried the conversations and communicating. I’ve tried leading by example. I’ve tried reminding him. I’ve tried nagging, getting angry, etc..
I’m just feeling hurt, hopeless, and unloved. He literally just feels like a roommate… but a bad one LOL.
I asked him if this is just him now, and if I need to just accept that this is who he is and how he will be the rest of our lives, or if this is some sort of slump.
He claims he’s in a slump because he is unhappy with his job. I told him he can change jobs (even if it pays less) or find a hobby (even if it’s expensive). He is just unmotivated to make any actual change.
I am truly, genuinely struggling in this marriage. We don’t have sex unless I practically beg him after a week of waiting for him to initiate, I feel like I do all the housework (except the litter), and I just feel overall unappreciated and annoyed that he understands this is not okay, but continues not to make any changes. He’ll just say he forgets, or sorry I’ll do better, but doesn’t.
A lot of my anger stems from dumping my ex that was the same way. I’ve done all the convos, blah blah blah, and I ended up dumping him. I was so much happier single, and I’m scared that this is 100% where this is heading.
He has been adding NOTHING to my life. He doesn’t ever compliment me, he doesn’t check on me even when I’m traveling for work, he doesn’t touch me unless I initiate, he hasn’t planned any dates since November, he doesn’t cook, he doesn’t clean, he doesn’t take care of the cats, etc..
Right now, he is not a husband. He’s just an annoying blob of a person & my resentment and hopelessness is building.

The year in 2040, I guess. I genius boy born in 2024 grows up in a time of much war and despair. After the presidential election of trump, a 3rd world war breaks out. Causing the climate and overall moral of the world to blow away. Crime and death are everywhere and this young boy want's it all to end. Initially the boy is very happy and has much hope for his efforts to change the world. He sends letters to presidents and government officials trying to make them stop the war but those never work. So, he ends up hosting peaceful protests. Which end up also not working nearly enough to change anything. As he grows up more and more, he sees the once clean suburbs he lived in go to shit. So, getting more agitated he does bolder and bolder actions to stop the conflicts and save the world. Such as blackmail or kidnapping government officials. Though he still has hope and doesn't harm anyone his grows more and more scared and less and less empathetic towards the human race. And after these bolder and bolder moves he grows even more and more agitated at the fact that nothing is working. And seeing his own town he once loved look like the ghettos 10 years prior. But then his single mother he loves more than anything dies because of lung cancer. Caused from lung pollution. This drives him into a state of very empathy and little regard for human life. Soon after he isolates himself thinking of something to do to save the world.
After several months of being in isolation the boy now has created a sort of toy. A toy in which that has a small gravitational pull allowing small objects to travel at 80 mph. He decides to bring it with him whilst he goes outside for the first time in several months. He then lays eyes of a homeless man amidst rubble from 5 Story buildings beating a dog to death. In a moment of panic, he throws his invention art the homeless man. It hurls hundreds of pebbles and small rocks at the man that stab into the man like needles. Even though the man isn't dead he was stunned long enough for the boy to retrieve the dog and run away to where he lives. After taking care of the dog for many weeks until it's strong enough again he finally releases it right out of his front door. Just for it to instantly be ran over by a car... This then drives the boy into a state of enrage and utmost zero empathy for human life. This then finally drives him to the conclusion, that if the world is to be saved. He must,Kill.All.Humans.
Finally, after another several months of isolation he critiques his invention to where it can throw objects weighing several pounds upwards of 200 mph. Effectively killing anything or anyone in a 100-foot radius. Once he steps outside, he sees a group of bandits rummaging through his once nice neighbor's house. They soon spot at him and charge at him. He then with no expression tosses it at them and watching all the pebbles and large rocks shoot at them blowing right through them and instantly killing them. He then lets out a sigh waits for the timer to run out on his toy, picks it up and goes back into his house for several more months once again. After these several months he makes several more of his toys which he now calls "earths saviors" And as he steps outside, he takes in what has come of his beloved town. He then takes out a map. And marks Berlin Germany. His first target of many to come.
I'll probably make a part 2 to this but I'm too tired to make the rest right now. I appreciate feedback and or suggestions on the story. And would like to know how old you think I am just based off of the demeanor and writing capacity of the story. "And if you would watch the movie if it were to be published"

There is a widget business, where I know the majority owner very well. One of the partners must be bought out. 17% of the business is for sale for $300,000. Historically, the returns are not lower than 8.4%. This year is 8.4% due to unusual maintenance items over the budgeted amount. The remaining investors must buy this guy out no matter what the market is doing. I think it was set up earlier and blind to the current valuation so he is getting less than he thought for his shares. Valuation is low possibly due to lingering effects of covid and recovery is pretty much a sure thing given their efforts in this market.
I have more than enough to buy the open shares.
If I buy, then I get a check each month out of the available profits. Also, by me buying in, the return will actually go up a little, but it is unknown right now how much. Under ideal conditions, annual cash returns are not projected to go above 10.5% (inflation adjusted - the dollar amount could go up with inflation). The equity of the business goes up every month from a loan payment and I get 17% of that increased valuation to the shares but no cash. The equity can go up with market valuation and I get 17% of that. Equity increases can only be cashed out by selling the shares to someone else or when the business assets are sold. In addition, activities have generated tax credits and I will get 17% of them to offset other income that I have. I don't know the value of the tax credit yet or how long they last. I need more details but, from what I was told, it appears that I might be the only potential investor who can legally use the tax credits because of some kind of limit or rules on them. They could not use the credits last year at all.
Assuming that I want to invest $300,000 in a long term investment and take out at least $2100 per month in cash only from the increased value of the investment, not the principle, are there any other investments available that would have higher monthly returns?
I looked at the historical S&P500 and it appears that the 8.4% beats the annualized returns going back years and I don't know how taking $2100 per month would affect returns. Also, there are no tax credits to have.
I do not know anything about stocks, bonds, or other financial instruments at all and would have to have that managed for me. However, for the past 12 years I have been the sole operator of a similar non-competing business that has grown to 58% the equity of the one I wish to invest in. I understand that business very well. My annual percent returns are actually higher than theirs. I agree with the valuation and projections of the current owners. This would be a way for me to simply 100% passively invest in an ongoing concern that matches my current investments. I cannot grow my own business any further at this time.
thank you.
TLDR: Is there a way to invest $300,000 in a set it and forget it and get a monthly check for $2100 or more from only the profits of the investment without touching the principle?

I live in Santa Monica next to an apartment complex. I can only assume the windows and walls in the complex are pretty thin. In the last year, our back house is being rented by a family with two small children, 4 and 6. They play, they scream, we have a basketball hoop, and kids will be kids. A man in the other apartment, let’s call him Stubbs, is rightfully upset by the noise. But the manner in which he’s tried to handle everything is upsetting and petty. To my knowledge, none of the other tenants have had a problem with the kids and haven’t made complaints. Our tenants are perfectly happy to speak to anyone who has a complaint but Stubbs has retaliated by screaming at the kids, telling them to “fucking shut up”, mocking us, and he’s made no attempt to be civil about it.
The most recent event with Stubbs is that the kids and I are playing and Stubbs starts blasting music from his apartment, mocking the kids, and being petty. Our tenant starts making passive aggressive comments and starts provoking Stubbs. There’s an area behind the apartment where our properties are divided by a small chain link fence. Stubbs goes over to the fence and starts yelling and mocking us. I get everything recorded but they are just going at it throwing insults at each other. Things are said in the recording and I’m afraid that Stubbs has grounds for legal action of his own, such as defamation. I don’t know much about what else Stubbs has done, but my tenant has caused him to be a pedophile which is a serious accusation. Again, I don’t know everything, things could’ve been said in the heat of the moment, but I don’t want to see my tenant get sued or some legal action be brought against him for something he’s said. I fully believe Stubbs deserves to be charged with harassment or he needs to get kicked out of the apartment, but the issue is we’re not 100% innocent. I don’t want to find myself wrapped up in this. Should we have any legal issues, this could get complicated because we have a history of having issues with the guy.
He has had issues with us before for similar reasons. When I was a kid, my brother and I and some of our friends would play basketball at night. Stubbs would also back then tell us to shut the fuck up. The issue is my brother and the friend start taunting Stubbs and provoking him. Stubbs leaves his apartment and shows up at our door. We lock the doors of course, I don’t remember what happened next but we have videos of him screaming at us while we tell him to get off our property and he wouldn’t. So this is a pattern of behavior from him.
Allegedly, a lot of people in our neighborhood have an issue with Stubbs and he has a history of being a racist. He yelled at a mail worker (who was either black or Latina I don’t remember) for parking on the street and being in his way. I wasn’t there for the event, but allegedly she parked her truck in the driveway (which is shared by all the tenants of that apartment) and he was just screaming at her. Saying something to the effect of “in America we don’t blah blah blah” you get the point. My mom goes out and confronts him and he just backs off.
On another occasion,ALLEGEDLY, he has been racist to me (21 5’0 Asian F). I never saw his face but his words and actions and what I could make from small glances match his description of being a 5’5 middle aged white coward with a beer belly. I was at the Urth Cafe with a friend. The line to the place is always long and it’s always packed inside. As we move up in line, I can hear who I think is Stubbs directly behind me muttering under his breath about how it’s taking so long, he’s getting pissed, and I’m getting nervous. As I’m next in line, I try and make room for the people around me who are passing, but this guy mutters under his breath “move up you stupid fucking chink, you stupid bitch”. I’m not Chinese and I don’t even look East Asian. I regret not turning around and asking him to speak up. I try to handle problems diplomatically and the last thing I wanted was to escalate the situation. But I keep my head down as if I didn’t hear him. I’ve never been back to the cafe since and it has been over a year. I understand there is room for doubt if it was actually Stubbs, but again, the man’s behavior matches Stubbs’ description.
So I carry pepper spray and a taser on me at all times and I’m terrified. That man knows my face, knows my name, and where I live. I don’t want to have another confrontation with him and I especially don’t want to be alone should that happen. I don’t want to be wrapped up in any legal battle, but I want to protect my family and protect those kids. I am biased of course, but I think that piece of shit has to go. People have a right to a childless lifestyle but not a childless world. Does anyone have any advice? Are we the assholes?
TLDR: petty neighbor yells at kids for being loud, has a history of harassing me, my family, and is a racist, are we in the wrong for being loud?

First let me start by saying I am sorry for everyone impacted, including project team.
I have had a few days to think about all of this and I want to share my thoughts.
The company wasn’t prepared, no fancy inaccurate calculator to show us what we could be making with these changes. Missing subclasses and some blatantly incorrect percentages. Leaders do not have answers besides “we will know more insert timeline
Consultants asked to coach and train advisors with no incentive. Don’t tell me about their commission bullshit because they lose the ability to make more regardless of how hard they work. They are on the hook for membership and advisor responsibilities.
Designers what a joke of a title. I’ve heard you get paid out 5% on smart home. Didn’t we stop doing walks in home for stupid shit like doorbell and smart locks? Base pay is to avoid paying you $$$ when the program gets axed and severance paid out. Heard you guys also get 10% on core products? Hmmm regardless of skill sets everybody that’s in this new title gets paid the same? If you don’t see the writing on the wall, god help you.
Custom labor installers and project managers I would sharpen those resumes.
I think this is all a test to see what sells and what does not. It’s to leverage vendors and it’s going to change for the worse. Spiffs are not coming back, I was able to get confirmation of that. The vendors are making a push for it but that’s something that will be revisited Q3.
Here’s the scary truth;;; it’s now much easier to control how much you work. There’s time limitations and you are store coverage with expectations to coach advisors. If the experts are expected to coach than what are the leaders good for?
Good luck and god speed.

Im a big fan of asus and their TUF line. I want to upgrade to a 4070ti super there is alot of options. I currently have a 3070ti asus TUF version. Does it matter which one you buy? Also how much would a 3070ti sell for used? And lastly how big of a difference will i notice. Have a 13700k with 32 gb ram.

In this social media age, it's all about your online image. There are people out there who know how to take a flattering shot, who know their angles almost too well. So well they look nothing like their true selves, in fact.
This isn't an article on how to catfish, or how to basically fool the world into thinking you're Jessica Biel or Jake Gyllenhaal.
These are our tips on how to pick out the best photos for your Tinder, Bumble, Grindr, or any dating app profile. Photos that portray the best version of (the real) you, for instance, confident, well-rounded and interesting sides of your personality!
You've probably seen plenty of articles on how to write the perfect Tinder bio. The everlasting debate around stating your height might come to mind. Should you divulge too much information? Should you go for a witty one-liner? Well here at the Match Artist, we value photography. We think that the secret to a killer Tinder profile is in its photos, and some people could do with a helping hand.
Stuck with your Tinder photos? Hire a professional to help you get some amazing snaps.
There's a knack to it, surprisingly enough. The images we choose to represent ourselves on social media and online say a lot about who we are. For instance if you've chosen six different versions of similar selfies for your Tinder profile, you probably aren't going to come off as particularly interesting. If all six of your photos feature you with your ex, you're probably going to come off a bit obsessed.
Here are our tips on how to portray the best version of yourself in your Tinder photos:

1. Don't just pick selfies!

Sure, we understand. Nobody can take a better photo of you than, well, you. However, no matter how tempting it may be, don't just pick selfies for your Tinder photos! It makes you look super boring and shallow. Tinder gives you a small window to be as interesting as possible. You need to utilise your opportunity, that means making the best use of each photo. One selfie is OK, but make sure you include a nice variety of shots in your Tinder photos.

1. Find the perfect balance for body shots

It's daunting, but the straight truth is that people on Tinder are judging your looks. That means not only your face, but your body too. There's a fine balance with choosing a body pic. If you hide your body completely, you don't look self-confident. If you show off your rippling abs in every photo, you can look self-obsessed. The trick here is to choose just one picture that includes your body. If that means a top-off beach pic, then do it. If that means a full-body photo where you're glammed up for a night out, fantastic. If that means a candid shot where your torso is visible, that works too. If you're not massively confident in your body, just try not to make it totally obvious!

1. Show off a hobby

Again, Tinder is about making use of a small opportunity to sell yourself. You need to cram in as much information about yourself as possible, so using your Tinder photos to tell your story is perfect. Whatever your hobby might be, rock it in one of your photos. You might be an athlete (sport photos are always great), you may be a chess champion, amazing at crochet, or completely obsessed with dogs (dogs count as hobbies too, right?) Whatever it might be, having an interest or hobby is attractive. People might share your interest and take more of a liking to you for it, or they might picture themselves sharing the activity with you.

1. Work your angles

Whatever photos you choose, know which ones you look good in. You may have a great profile view, or a jawline to show off. Tip number 4 is simple; know what angles and looks work for you, and try to choose your most flattering pictures. (Rocket science, we know!)

1. Include friends, but not too many

We've all been there, swiping through Tinder when you come across a group photo of twelve guys. Which one is he?! Don't be that person. It's great to include a group photo or pictures with friends; it shows you're a sociable and friendly person. However, you do not want to make a prospective date have to work hard to figure out which person you are.
If you do include a group photo, make sure it includes no more than four or five people. Nobody wants to be scanning fifteen tiny faces to figure out who's who. Do not, I repeat, do not include more than one group photo. It's too confusing. Next.

1. Smile

You're not Edward Cullen. You're going to need to flash those teeth to show you're open and charming. Photos of you smiling and baring your teeth are going to show
Nobody wants to go on a date, or potentially be in a relationship with someone who can't (or won't) smile! Get those gnashers out!

1. Don't flex with a 'hot girl/guy'

A weird one, but people do it. Including a photo with your hottest guy-or-girl-friend does not make people fancy you more! It's a strange kind of mind game that just ends up being a huge no-no for many people. If you were considering a gal on Tinder who's first picture was her with a male supermodel, wouldn't you (on some level) feel like she was saying 'this is my expectation, don't swipe right unless you're this beautiful'. This point also includes exes. People don't like to see pictures of potential dates with a member of the opposite sex. Don't ask us why. They just don't.

1. Get fancy

Everyone likes to get dressed up for a night out or a big event. Likewise, everyone likes a girl in a beautiful dress or a guy in a well-fitting tux. You should try to include a photo of yourself dressed up to the nines to show Tinder-ers your potential and how you might, one day, look on their arm at an event (or even wedding).

1. Go outside

This one sounds stupid, but subliminally, including one picture of yourself outside makes you look a little bit more adventurous and interesting. Pictures of you only indoors will on a very deep level tell people that you don't go out much. Think about it, your Tinder photos are telling a story. Make a little bit of that story out-of-doors!

1. Leave out the filters

Nobody is looking to go out with a guy or girl with dog or panda ears! Snapchat filters are a no-go for dating profiles. Sorry folks.

1. Try out professional photography

If you've read this article and been thinking 'I don't have any photos of myself like that', you can try getting a professional to snap you looking your very best. You can now hire a professional portrait photographer from just £99 for an hour session.
You can be sure that a portrait photographer will capture your best angles, smiles and even your friends. Portrait photographers have the best lenses and kit that will flatter your mug far more than the tiny fish-eye iPhone lens.
It's not unheard of, either! Plenty of people nowadays opt for a pro photographer to help them look sharp in their headshots, dating profiles, and even their passport photos. It's reasonably priced enough, the same as a nice dinner in a restaurant, but with longer lasting results!
There's a few simple things to bear in mind when selecting photos for your dating profile: not too many selfies, not too many group shots, work your best features, show your bod (a bit), make sure to smile, go outdoors, get dressed up, and leave out the silly filters. You can also try getting a professional photographer to take some snaps.
Now get out there and start swiping! The most important thing is to be confident in yourself and your choices, but if you follow these tips you should be an absolute love magnet within hours.
Are you thinking about booking a portrait shoot with the Match Artist? Great idea!
If you're going to have an enviable Instagram feed or Tinder photos, you can't rely on your best friend to capture your best angles at the drop of a hat. Sometimes life calls for a professional photographer to get you some selfies that will drop jaws. Luckily, the Match Artist can find you such a pro at short notice and for a great price.
We guarantee quick and simple booking, an amazing professional photographer who will travel to you, and 48 hour photo delivery every time.
We do all this so you can have great shots of you looking your best.
Don't have any shots worthy of your Tinder profile? Try out a Match Artist photographer today! We'll help you get those matches.

TL;DR : 23(M) in bay area trying to figure out how to position myself for the future in order to survive the shit show without too many scars and be able to be apart of the rebuilding process in an impactful way. What skills/direction do people think are good bets for myself and people my age or anyone reading/interacting with this?
Gonna share my Situation for background as well as perspective on areas that I see decline in across the board. Feel free to build off anything you resonate with or disagree with.

Housing Market/Migration:

Housing market is obviously fucked right for various reasons economically. The new houses that are being built are all of terrible quality by companies such as DR Horton in order to maximize profits which lead to inefficiency when it comes to home value retention and resell ability if they are able to sell at all. The new construction are like I said all shitty but are also being built in general in really shitty areas that don't have high qualities of life or massive weather problems among other cultural, energy, water, immigration or political issues(ie. Texas, Florida, Arizona, etc.) Not saying that other places in the country (New York & California) are perfect or even close to it, but people moving like they are moving to these places is like putting a band aid over the wound(the economy) instead getting to the root of the problem and currently we can see the result of this in said areas. Rising Unaffordability, crime, insurance rates, property taxes(Daddy government always gets his), and general gimmicky shit. Now those same people are moving back to California or New York if they can afford it or most of the time north to the rust belt to do the same thing with probably the same outcome. Interest rates won't come down for probably another 15 years and even if they do everything will be bought up by institutions.
Boomers are locked into houses with low rates and massively high equity but instead of passing that on to the next generation they choose to lord it over everyone and tell people to not buy coffee because that's obviously gonna make the difference in terms of being able to afford a downpayment. Telling everyone to work harder when they have literally have had it the easiest of any generation in human history without showing any gratitude or recognition of that fact.

The Dollar:

Its been talked about on here non-stop but national debt is absurd and currently unrepayable unless..... we just print more. Which is what the government does. I don't know if this is fueled by private banks( Look up private banks effects on history specifically during world wars; here is a solid video). But lowering the value of tomorrows dollar to pay off todays debt seems to be the government's only plan in terms of paying things off. This strategy is the only reason the media is able to manufacture delusion in the populous that stocks are high and real estate won't crash. What's really going on is the the prices are staying the same relatively or slightly increasing but that is because the value of the dollar is going down not because the value of the asset is going up. This is a overall assessment, obviously things fluctuate more when you zoom in and look at the fundamentals of individual assets but you get the general point.
Myself personally I am a little neutral in terms of if or if not the dollar will remain the world reserve currency for the next 150 years. My gut would say that it won't but that being said things don't really look too much better anywhere else in the world. People talk about BRIC but but they all have worse problems than the US. India is a shithole with poor infrastructure hence so many Indians moving the America specifically the bay area but also they consistently get outsourced by Americans once companies realize they need an ounce of quality in their service or product. The high quality ones leave and the low quality ones stay. Both China and Russia while boasting huge amounts of natural resources and reasonable militaries have dire demographic problems and have been lying about their numbers for years. Europe doesn't look any better either. Realistically I know it sucks in America but it kinda is better than anywhere else. What makes me hesitate is the cycles of history that Ray Dalio talks about where the world reserve currency is kind of destined to change every X amount of years. Have heard some interesting contrasting theories on this specifically the Dollar milkshake theory which I suggest checking out.

Job Market:

Job Market is ridiculous especially for younger people my age. Even my colleagues who went to an alright university are having a hard time getting and keeping a job due to the market. There are tons of ghost jobs that don't actually exist and are only posted in order to make it seem like the company is currently profitable. Just to get a job you not only need to apply to probably around a thousand jobs with a 3% response rate but also you need to be messaging recruiters and people who work at the company in order to get a referral. Even if you were able to get a job, most people I know are searching for another job whether it be part time or full time because they are afraid of being laid off.
Things also don't seem to be getting easier. The pandemic was extremely profitable for everyone but ever since then it has been harder and harder with no real let up or cooling off. I don't see how this can continue without turning to resentment or potentially complete stagnation since young people really don't have any reason to work. They are unable to find someone to have a family with in a healthy way. Unable to afford a house. Can't keep a job to no fault of their own. And can't afford to have kids.

Design/Consumerism:

Design and Consumerism are in my opinion evidence of a decaying society currently. There is very little differentiation in design from cars to houses to public or government buildings to art and even products at retail stores. Everything is designed with speed and Price in mind which spirals consumerism further downward(look up refinement culture on google). This promotes things like fast fashion and previously mentioned single use products which make corporations a large amount of money but isn't sustainable for the environment or for individual people's wallets.
Also the general lack of beautiful design in people's lives makes our lives even more dull than they currently are. Living or working in a McMansion that looks like the inside of a Chick-fil-a is fun for the first five days until its not and then you are back to keeping up with the Jones' in order to fit in: falling back into consumerist culture. I think debt and peoples personal finances are being stretched which makes this problem slightly disappear more and hurt the corporations' pockets but it doesn't solve the problem just reveals the cancer underneath.

Crime:

Crime obviously is increasingly on the rise and not just with violent crimes. Shoplifting as you know is a huge issue as well as personal stealing to such a prevalence that the sentences on those crimes are being reduced because prisons and jails are being maxed out completely. This doesn't seem to be slowing down and is even shifting to different parts of the country due to internal migration previously talked about above in the housing portion due to unaffordability, interest rates, debt, and population increase(by migration or birth).
Another huge issue is homelessness and specifically illegal immigration which I think partly is done by the Democratic party currently in order to bolster their election chances with November coming not realizing that they are turning away their existing demographics. Another feature of homelessness specifically but also crime and illegal immigration is it inadvertently destroys third spaces which are currently and rightly so being talked about a lot. I will go into this more on the next section.

Day to Day Physical and Mental health:

Being able to socialize and hang out with people casually and at no to low cost is becoming increasingly impossible. Being out in public now costs money and that cost is rising day by day exacerbating isolation especially among young people who don't have that much money do begin with. This is a huge reason why I think young people are still willing to go to college the way they still are. even if they go into debt they want access to these third spaces to improve their social, physical and mental Health. I KNOW, myself included, that young people are desperate for third spaces and community even though many are addicted to their phones, don't have good social skills or it costs a significant amount of money to engage in it which is unfortunate and leads to people kind of giving up or at least having a general feeling of hopelessness. The predatory nature of social media companies and targeted advertisers don't help this issue at all either leading to worse mental health as well as more consumerism. Mental health as we all know is a huge issue especially with younger people and even though we have more resources/understanding about it which I am proud of my generation(and others) for being interested and interacting with, dealing with the issue becomes more and more difficult based on our decaying environment day by day.
In terms of physical health again, I am proud of my generation(and others) for caring more about the products that they are putting into their body. Seeds oils, red dye, processed food, micro-plastics, animal and plant products raised in the right way, etc. However the way the food industry is currently set up, being able to have access to clean healthy food is a lot of times unaffordable to most people or the food itself is up for speculation by the media because why would industries do studies on products of hygenic methods that can't make money? Again this seems to be an issue that there is awareness and information on but day by day it seems to be harder and harder to give your body what it needs to feel good based on the current decaying environment.
I'm also going to add a spiritual section here because I feel it needs to be added. We need to hold religious organizations more accountable. I am seeing more and more people being turned away from ideologies that are legitimately beneficial to their lives because of poor leadership, predatory behavior, and fraudulent/scam activities. This may be a result of a society being submerged in decadence but it is really disheartening seeing people being moved away from spirituality because it has been weaponised for the personal gain of those at the top. Feel that needed to be added since it is something I want to engage with more meaningfully in the future.

Dating/Families:

This is my opinion will be the breaking point for most people. I think if people were really honest with themselves family would be something that you don't fuck with; future or current. Dating currently is really tough for everyone regardless of what is between your legs. Animosity between genders has been manufactured and in general people have tendencies within this context to be more competitive rather than cooperative which should clearly be indicative that things aren't or are going to work out. The destruction of third spaces, addiction to phones, predatory corporations profiting of loneliness(regardless of sex), inability to buy a house, inability to afford kids, etc have really made people sit back and wonder is any of it really worth it. Should I just indulge in primal desires since my self actualization needs seem so unattainable @ Maslow.
I said it before but this will be the breaking point in my opinion. If people don't feel like no matter how hard they work, they won't be able to get what they want in terms of normal human desires and needs; Then they will fight and rebel for it which is where I think we are headed, especially concerning young dudes.

Personal Response:

Grew up in Middle class home in San Jose and had a pretty normal childhood. Don't remember anything too ridiculous around 2008 but we were also renting as well. Things however really ramped up when I got into college specifically during the Pandemic. I spiraled downward and had severe mental and physical issues that resulted in me hitting rock bottom(don't want to play oppression olympics here). Now I'm currently heavily considering going back to finish my degree in Philosophy just to have it. Afterwards looking at sales, one of the trades, or any other opportunity that presents itself in order to get by while things get adjusted.
I feel we are headed towards extremely turbulent times within the next 4 years. With the boomers dying and leaving the workforce to the rising animosity and resentment that younger people feel with the system regardless of your political ideology it seems we are moving towards some kind of global or civil war. We already see China preparing to invade Taiwan, Russia looking to move further west for expansion and I think similar conflict will happen in the United States. The United States and its dollar are weakening by the day which is why you see the dollar being removed from countries trading oil and why there have been more international conflicts like Armenia, Israel, and Ukraine with more to come.
We are due for a war , turbulent time period, rebalancing, whatever you want to call it but its coming(@ Ray dalio cycles of history)probably this November if I had to guess. I feel like I am gifted to be able to see this stuff and put it into words as many of you guys reading this also probably are but I am feeling lost currently and don't want to lose hope. I know that this is an opportunity for me to go through a hard time and become stronger because of it and hopefully become a responsible and respectable steward for the future when the rebuilding happens assuming I survive without too many scars. But what do I do now? How should I act? Should I go back to college and continue to try and go the old path with the clarity of what I think will happen waiting for my moment to adapt? Or should I be proactive and try something new in order to put myself in a more advantageous position when things inevitably get turned upside down? Combination of both?
My current focus is on my body & mind in terms of food, drink, substances, exercise phone use, media, information, agendas, and mental frameworks since that is all I can realistically invest into currently. I'm naturally an over thinker and a pessimist but think it is important to take the white pill on this one and look to the future with hope in terms of seeing opportunity in the decay of the current flawed system we are in regardless of the fact that I feel as though myself and people around my age currently have it pretty tough right now across the board. I'm emphasizing this because I feel as though this reddit(especially the posts) sometimes just reports the pain and fear instead of trying brainstorm the best ways to adapt and handle what we currently face. I want to have a wife, kids, and a family and feel it is my responsibility to make the best of what I have and be positive in order to get what I want in this life.
Would love to hear from you if you are in a similar situation or a different one. What are your thoughts, feelings, plans, and mentality heading into the future? Are we cooked? Or just waiting for our turn.

Hey - I started a new office/admin/cafe role 2mnths ago. Below are some examples of things I have dealt with my boss recently. I basically would like to know if you’d stay or go?

• I sit at the desk while she is sat behind me verbally telling me what to type in response she emails (two people for one job sort of thing) and some email responses can take over 40 minutes per response because she is “ummm - change this and change that”. It’s exhausting actually it just needs to be a straight forward reply and she insists on long, tedious emails. Has no time awareness at all.
  
• Wants me to eventually work solo so she can take a backstep. But she is extremely pernickety about wording and punctuation in emails, filing and my language on the phone. (I mean fair enough) but it’ll also mean no one in my role will ever be able to work solo eventually because she must always be around to proofread/listen in.
  
• I have designed, photographed and made a new website for her on my cafe hourly rate. At first I did it because I saw she needed help, but now I sense she is totally using me as I am most likely saving her a lot of $$$.
  
• I work 8-4 and I am lucky to get a 10 minute break to eat something. And if I take anything over that she starts huffing and puffing around me (feels very passive aggressive). She also often forgets I have basically human needs like eating and I need to remind her I have to eat something otherwise she’ll keep me/us working.
  
• I have not signed any contracts.
  
• Calls me on my days off regarding the website/work
  
• Bitches and gossips about her staff to me and some of the things she has said is really bad! She is always complaining how her staff are incompetent and that’s why she can’t take time off. She’s never said anything about me to me, and I can 100% sense something has changed between us over the past 2 weeks because I’ve noticed a few things she does towards me she doesn’t do to others. Almost feels like she’s picking on me a little bit but will 100% be talking about me or my work style to others instead of just talking to me.
  
• She seems to struggle to get workers who live locally.
  
• She is so uninterested in anything I have to say personally and will often cut me off mid conversation. However, she could take for days about herself.
  

A factor to consider: She says she thinks she is undiagnosed ADHD/ADD.
I have worked for so many bosses to know that it’s probably not going to get better now I’m in this slump. I also think I am very self aware, so the only thing she might be able to pick me up on is that I am a chatty person. I like to chat to other staff members & clients - relationship building is my thing and I like making friends. Otherwise, I think I’m doing pretty well In my role all things considered but I just don’t have much tolerance to BS anymore.

Age of Legends
Prologue(Death and birth of a dragon)

Rand was happy, there wasn’t much else he could say about how he felt right there at that specific moment. Lying there in bed wearing nothing but his small cloths and a silk shirt half buttoned. Beside him sleeping so peacefully was one of his beautiful wives, Elmindreada, though she hated that name and preferred Min. Thinking back on many long years of peace and growth, yes he was fated to break the world, and he had. Though the prophecies never mentioned the creation and growth he would also leave behind. The creation of the black tower and the worldwide acceptance of male Aes Sedai, his crown and epitome of success the cleansing of saiadin. That and the discovery of ancient knowledge to confirm anyone should be able to learn to touch at least a small part of the true source, at least most people could. Those two things alone would have vast and far-reaching consequences for the good. The covers beside him shifted as his wife turned over in her sleep showing him her short curly hair. Thoughts drifting again to convincing the Aeil and Tu’athan(the tinkers he thought fondly still) to make peace, them taking it a step further and settling in the two rivers. The tinkers, the wondering people and followers of the way of the leaf, coming to terms with the Aiel spear wielders and settling in one place, that one place being his boyhood homeland. Perrin was there, as well as all the Emond fielders, what’s more they set him up like some king and started calling the place Manetheren.
Mat even came back and settled down to retire with the remainder of his family after his wife the empress died. Rand frowned because that wasn’t a happy memory, her battle with some kind of internal growth that even the best healers couldn’t fix, it was slow and painful. She was tough and knew enough to put things in order so there wouldn’t be any war for succession, but after her death and with no children not adopted, Mat just had no pull to stay. He came back and Perrin gave him an estate where he spent the rest of his days carousing in taverns even if no one would play dice with him again. The rest of his days were not much however, less than two years after his wife Mattrim died of a heart attack. The same strange fox head medallion he wore around his neck that had saved him so many times from enemy power wielders, due to its powers of absorbing any of the one power used against the wearer, was strangely the main cause of his death as there had been an Aes Sedai capable of healing close by. Rand wondered what ever became of that medallion. Trying to shift his thoughts back to happier things he thought of Elayne another of his wives and queen of the region this new “kingdom” was growing. Or at least she was. Having not one but two kingdoms to run was taxing her, especially when one played that awful game of houses so much, as if it were breathing. She actually willingly gave that area to Perrin, that and more besides. “Having friends at your back, especially friends who know they owe you can only help.”, he remembered her saying when he asked her.
He laughed remembering how her cute golden-haired little face grew so stern while she rounded on him for not caring about his friends and shouldn’t they also get something for all the help they provided at the last battle. Of course, it also had nothing to do with being such close friends with Perrin’s wife Fail. Manetheren though, when asked Perrin just shrugged his huge shoulders saying one name is as good as any, and it was the one that everyone agreed on.
Min groaned softly beside him still wrapped in the silken bedding spread. His laugh seemed to have disturbed her, he quickly stifled it and glared at the lavish bedroom they slept in as if that were the fault for his mirth. Lying on top of the silken covers because he never quite got used to sleeping on feather mattresses. It really was a lavish bedroom, filled with rugs and wall coverings, paintings, not one but two large dressers with mirrors, a matching and equally large wardrobe, currently opened showing two other mirrors on the inside of the doors, smaller than the dresser mirrors, and a neat array of blouses and trousers with floral embroidery(Min’s things). Otherwise, there was also a washstand with another small mirror, a desk and one chair slightly askew and away from the desk. On the desk are several stacks of books, and an open notebook with a nearby quill and ink pot. There was a lone unlit lamp also on the desk gilded in gold, as well as several gold gilded wall lamps also unlit around the room.
Sighing softly as Min settled back to comfortable sleep, he stared back up at the bland whitewashed ceiling above him and thought about the schools he had patroned. So many new ideas and inventions were springing up and with traveling prevalent they all spread to the world almost as fast as the ideas can be thought up. This would hopefully lead to a golden age for the world, and his schools were even branching off on their own into new learning institutes. These alone seemed to keep the peace between all the nations. Rand couldn’t tell if he was trying to be modest or humble. Yes he patroned and started the first few schools, but it was not all him coming up with any of the ideas and inventions, many of which had become marvels in and of themselves. Transportation, communication, education These would be left behind and he would be known for that as well as the other.
Breaking the world to make it whole, and his victory with that world’s armies at the last battle. He fought the dark one while the armies of all the nations fought the shadowspawn and darkfriends and dreadlords. Despite everything against him, including it seemed sometimes even the creator, he not only won the battle, but he survived it, he survived it and had a nice long life. The world was at peace, headed to a golden age which he would get credit for, and so Rand was happy. His eyes closed and his thoughts grew that sort of muffled feeling they get just as they start turning into dreams.
PAIN! Rand knew pain, he was no stranger to hurts, especially from a half healed old wound in his side, but that was not the same thing right now. For some reason panic started rising up in him, this was something new, this was something worse. A sharp pain again, in his chest, his body wildly spasmed up kicking his sleeping wife awake.
“Ow you bloody tall buffoon, if you think you can kick me out of bed you have another thing …” Min trailed off as another spasm of pain racked through Rand. Her face contorting with fear as she watched him clutching his chest nearly double over with the pain spasm. He tried to tell her he would be alright, but all that came out was a groaning grunt. He tried lifting his hand to show her it would be alright, but he couldn’t get it to move. Suddenly a hand hit him in his face, it was his hand. He couldn’t feel his hand or his arm. Fear started creeping in as another spasm of pain caused him to let out another groan and clutch at his chest with this hand he couldn’t feel.
“Creator shine his light on me, of course you would choose to die when you’re with me.” Min started shouting hysterically. “For the love of light you bloody wool head, you hang on until I can get Aviendha to come heal you, she’s not far, just hold on damn you.”
Rand vaguely had an impression of Min running towards and out the door. Another spasm of pain, except somehow this was less. He knew it should hurt just as much, but it didn’t. He must have found the void so it wouldn’t hurt as much, that was it. Rand thought about his third and final wife Aviendha, how she would likely come in to find him as healthy as a bull and upset his stomachache disturbed her wise one’s practice. Stomachache? Wasn’t it his chest that was hurting him? Another very small spasm, yes its his chest, but he was also feeling decidedly nauseous too, and that was the greatest issue right? Sleep was all he needed, he would sleep, and everything would be fine in the morning, tomorrow he had to get up early to sheer the sheep.
The void completely surrounds and envelops Rand. As he fades away he hears a sinister voice in his head, “YOU WON THIS ROUND DRAGON REBORN BUT WE WILL COME FACE TO FACE AGAIN” The dark one, what, again? No, the dark one is dead, am I dead, wake up you light blinded fool. There was nothing but the void, not even the light of saiadin could be seen. Rand listened as hard as he could, he thought he heard something, something almost familiar. There it was again, soft but rhythmic, sounding not exactly far, but muffled as if listening through water. Thump Thump and it hit him, that’s the sound of a heartbeat, but who’s heartbeat his? Sleep, that’s what he needed, a really good nights sleep and he would feel better in the morning. Rand drifted off into a dreamless sleep listening to the heartbeat, Thump Thump.
Thus did the dragon reborn die after seeing the end of one age turned into the beginning of another. The people of the land wept at his passing, they swore they would remember him forever and always. Time however is not a kind mistress, when an age is gone it starts to fade from existence, times deeds even people change in the telling’s of the years and centuries. Eventually when the wheel goes round and gives birth to the age again all details have been forgotten, muffled, or contorted.

Mariann Jo’sheen Sedai was old. She had a proper last name once if she could just remember. It had been so long ago since she had last thought of it, a life in the white tower could do that, and Sedai was as good a last name as could be for formality. Just saying Mariann was old was an understatement though, being a woman with a stronger channeling ability, and having sworn on all 8 Life Oath Rods, a prerequisite to becoming Amyrlin of the tower, that she even has any grey hair showing means she must be well past 800 years old, and to show the amount of age she did it must be closer to past 900 years. She was still sharp in mind mostly, at least anything from the last 100 years or so she could recall as sharp as if it happened yesterday. Had it really been longer than a hundred years since she last though of her family name, having long lasted past the last of her lineage, her family long gone or married into others.
She thought even harder surly she had been at her last relative’s funeral, when was it, it was a great aunt she remembered, and the surname was …, she thought really hard. She was in the Amyrlin’s bedchamber reserved for the current leader of the white tower. That said like most of the past Amyrlins before her she kept the bedroom nice and simple. The single window held a cooling fan with right below it a heater coil. The other wall held a closed door which led into her bathroom, the next wall holding another door leading out of the bedchamber into the office of her role. The last wall held the only other furniture besides the plain brown four poster bed she was laying on. A white nightstand with built in mirror and matching white clothed chair. The bathroom was large and would hold her wardrobe of clothes along with the indoor plumbing necessities.
Mariann thought back to each of the eight oaths she took on the life rods, trying to remember which one she had last taken when she attended her aunt’s funeral. Small cylindrical devices no longer than her arm, when you take an oath on one your life actually increases by a standard lifetime or roughly 100 years depending on the person, those stronger in the one power given slightly more. Really giving any oath at all would do for the increasing your life, the only requirement being you channel Saiadar while making your oath and someone else that can also channel does so to activate it. However each specific Ajah required you to take a specific oath, and the eighth oath rod was solely for those like her who have taken the Amyrlin seat after having have pledged on the other seven, again a specific oath.
“I will say no word that is untrue”. Eight oath rods, and eight times this is spoken to ensure you do not offer a false oath, as if anyone would think of lying so many truth seekers everywhere.
“I will faithfully serve as Amyrlin to all of my children for the rest of my days”. The Amyrlin seat was a lifelong position and would not open again until her death. Serve all her children, it was said that the ancient honorific Amyrlin meant something like mother to all, it means that she was a servant to everyone in the world, matter it not she was the leader of the white tower. That first part about serving faithfully as Amyrlin could leave some wiggle room depending on how one viewed the title of Amyrlin, the last however left no wiggle room for anything.
“I will treat everyone with fairness and justice as is prescribed by the dai’shan aiel of the grey tower and the Aes Sedai code of ethics”. Those were binding stronger than time itself. The grey tower first because only the dai’shan aiel more than anyone can decide what is fair and right, they were and are the original truth seekers among so much more. You would also have as much power to reach the moon as you would to get the Aes Sedai code of ethics changed. First it would take a proposal from either of the leaders from the white or black tower. Either the Amyrlin of the white tower or the Pope of the black tower has to make a suggested change, which then needs to go through each Ajah/Faction and receive 90% approval, then it gets sent to the other tower to make its way up through the chains until it finally ends with the other towers leader. If it passes all of that it gets sent to the grey tower for approval again 90% before finally appearing before the first servant leader of the grey tower for final approval, and at any stage it can be stopped if it doesn’t pass.
That wasn’t it though, no she was not Amyrlin at her aunt’s funeral. Before then was the Blue ajah, which was closer. But still too recent, what level was she? The sleeping shift she wore was one of the new fads called a one piece. It was literally one garment that covered both legs and torso. It had several convenient buttons for keeping it on or taking it off. It was grey cotton all one solid color, and it was bunching up at the knees. Mariann distractedly Jerked it back into position. Her thoughts drifted too far back to when she had her very first foretelling which was that she would one day become Amyrlin seat. She was a young girl of only 16 years, and she knew without a doubt. It came in bursts though and it was not something she could control.
This vision came on stronger than any she had ever encountered before. So strong it jerked her body stiff as a board and slammed her down thankfully into the bed she was already laying on. An Evil shadow of a man, a giant taller than mountains, and blacker than the darkest shadows on a moonless night, peering down at the world smiling, that smile turning your blood to jelly and freezing you in place with its ill intent. A great serpentine beast came flying from the other side of the world, Long and scales glimmering like diamonds with talons made of pure gold but sharper than the sharpest knife, fire trailing from its partially open moth off its gleaming sharp teeth. It was equally large as the malevolent shadow man and flew on giant tornado causing wings straight at the other. They fought a great battle against each other, but in doing so caused so many deaths as swaths of their destruction ravaged the world. A flash of light and Mariann was staring at the grey tower as if just a few hundred yards away. She started walking towards it only to watch in horror and bewilderment as the tower before her cracked and collapsed as if a mirror or glass shattered. Another flash of light and she saw a baby boy, but he aged so fast right before her eyes until he died as an old man. She couldn’t remember much, but she knew deep down that he was in some way related to the other visions and this man, for it was definitely a man, was likely the cause of them.
Opening her eyes to stare at the brown four poster cloth above her and remembering every detail about her vision she distractedly spoke to herself . “Goshin is my sur name and I last heard it at Aunt Maragel Goshin’s funeral while I was at the green level”. She shook her head, that wasn’t important anymore if it ever really was. She quickly sat up in her woolen one piece swinging her feet over the side of the bed and hurried to her nightstand. Sitting in the chair she reached in one drawer to get paper and another to get an ink pointer. Channeling a single small strand of fire into a swinging glass bulb above her bed brought light into the room. She hastily started scribbling down every detail from her vision, she was grateful she always kept ink and paper nearby to do so.

Mr. Telamon was a nervous wreck while sitting in the hospital waiting room. He somehow knew, sensed something was wrong with his wife’s delivery. Dai’shan aiel were everywhere; as were nurses, patients or close kin waiting, Every once in a while a doctor’s assistant would come out and call a name ushering someone to see a doctor. Really bad cases would be taken in through a separate entrance known only to the healers. It didn’t matter, and he got confirmation as those doors opened up and not the assistant, but the doctor who had taken his wife looked around the room first at the dai’shan, then at him. A group of three of the white clad figures started moving towards him even before the doctor did. They felt his grief or rather the grief he was going to feel, even before he himself felt it. That and they knew it would take three of them to calm him down. Tears were streaming from his eyes before the doctor even started speaking.
“There was a complication during the pregnancy, your son is ok, your wife however did not make it, I’m so sorry. She did manage to tell us a name before she passed. Lews, Lews Therin after her father. Is that what you would like on the birth certificate?”
Baby Lews’s father numbly nodded, and the doctor walked away as uncontrollable sobs started emanating from the man. The three dai’shan aiel circled around him arm in arm and started singing a song of comfort and peace and mourning.
***
Rand Al’thor was asleep soundly when something woke him up, but he couldn’t tell what or where, or even anything for that matter. It was like the void, nothingness, but a sound, not a feeling, a heartbeat. The heartbeat was much faster than it was and suddenly something pushed him hard in the head. Go away he thought I’m trying to sleep. However the push came back stronger than before, this time managing to flip him upside down, upside down?, he could tell direction in this floating nothingness. Really awake now Rand tried to remember, remember?, remember what? Again the push and he was being squeezed to death and suddenly he remembered something about the dark one. A voice, a word, a sentence, the dark one wanted him dead. Was this the dark one trying to kill him, again push, again very tight squeeze, this time a light as if from a tunnel. It wasn’t the only light though, Rand went to the real void, and he saw it, Saiadin. He reached out with all his might to grab it and it came like a flood. He couldn’t control it, he had no strength, and his memory was foggy, he just expelled it to get out the other light and away from the pushing and death squeeze.
As Saiadin left him so did more and more memories, he tried to shout that he killed the dark one, sealed the bore so it could never be open. All that came out of his mouth was a scream. No blood and fire no I did this already, I won, I’m done. And with that last thought Rand Al’thor fell deep deep asleep into the furthest recesses of the brain. Lews took a deep breath and let out another scream wanting his mother or anyone to come pick him up and sooth his little soul.

The dragon is born!

Chapter 1
16 years later
The wheel of time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the age that gave it birth comes again. In one Age, called the fifth age by some and the first by others. An age yet to come, an age long past, a dark icy wind arose from about as far north as you can get. The wind was not the beginning. There are neither beginnings nor endings to the turning of the wheel of time. But it was a beginning.
A steam vent in an icy mountain let out a puff of sulfur like particles riding the wind. High and fast the dark tainted wind rode across the Nym fields, high enough to escape the notice of the Nym, ever vigilant in their desire to protect the world. Over the borderlands of mankind, given graciously by the Nym when mankind needs more space to grow. Still high in the sky the dark wind blew through wild wilderness where only the Nym, the Ogier, the dai’shan aiel, and the Aes Sedai were allowed to travel if at some risk. The wind started descending as it traveled into the warmer southern air. Up ahead in the distance was a magnificently large tower made of stone black like obsidian, but much stronger. Along the northern wall of this Black tower were several windows, most open hoping to catch some of the cool breeze which it did nicely.
It was into one of these windows the dark wind blew, a classroom, though filled only with boys. The tainted breeze flew around several students, all dressed in black school uniforms and sitting at wooden desks on little rickety stool like chairs with just the barest of backrest. The flow of air flew so close to the face of one student he gave a start, finally going up the next nearby student’s nose just as he took in a deep breath.
Lews gave such a start at the intrusion, and he stood up sneezing loudly, the rancid smell still strong in his nose. Taller than most of his peers he certainly stood over everyone’s head while they were all sitting down.
“What are you doing, you look like a dork, hurry and sit down before anyone notices.” His best friend [Ishamael]() tried to warn him. However, it was already too late for that, most of the class was now looking at him which made him self conscious even if the women all said he looked like a dream. Worse, the teacher at the front of the class in a very similar black colored uniform was looking at him expectedly.
“Yes Lews, do you think you know the answer?” To Lews’s horror he realized he had been spending most of the class in a daydream about being the most powerful weaver ever. It was important that distinction, woman channel men weave. Saiadar and Saiadin, two halves of the same whole, both apart of the one power the true source. Everyone could learn to use it, or at least almost everyone. The dai’shan don’t channel or weave for all the power of their songs, not one of them it’s a law to join among other things. Other people might be so weak in the power it should be they don’t have it at all, there are objects which can amplify or temporarily give someone use of the one power, those with so little power that resort to using these transcognative devices were often socially outcast. Transmogs they were called when someone was being nice.
That didn’t help him now, he was in history class, and definitely not studying Transmogs. Lews desperately wracked his brain trying to remember what they were discussing. The teacher’s slight smile was starting to droop to a slight frown. Nym’s that was what they were discussing, what about Nym’s? Desperately looking around for some hope, he finally remembered. It was a question about the first Nym, what was his name?
“Goak him jim knee?” Lews answered with a rightfully apologetic look on his face. Sighing the teacher said “close, Oakhimgimee. At least he was close!” The teacher got progressively louder while giving the rest of the class an evil eye. The laughter that had started quickly quieted. Just at that particular moment a loud bell decided to ring calling an end to that class period.
As the other students started standing up, talking, and starting to head for the door, the teacher weaved a small weave that produced a louder voice reminding the class they had the test coming up at the end of the week.
Lews slowly grabbed his bag and followed the steady stream of students leaving the class.

Boys: Justin, Ripper, Topher
Girls: Anne Maria, Jasmine, MK
Episode 19: The Princess Pride
"Last time, on Total Drama Action! Just when the cast thought they were safe, I swung in to surprise – I mean, antagonize them."
"The cast were forced to use their creative sides while showing off their back sides. As they made superhero costumes out of spandex. And...some other junk. Nice tights!"
"Of course, they were foiled by the diabolical Pythonicus, evil alter-ego of the villainous Chef!"
"In a fight against evil, the cast proved they could be heroes. And also, loooseerrss!"
"In the end, the most diabolical of them all was MK, who twisted things in order to get Chase eliminated."
The recap footage ended, and the scene flashed to the control tent where Chris was waiting with a smile. "Will the Gaffer alliance recover from Chase being gone? Will Anne Maria and Topher keep going out?" he pressed a button on the keyboard to his side, causing a picture of the couple to appear on one of the screens behind him.
"Maybe you'll find out right now?" he shrugged impishly as the scene changed again and he walked towards the cast trailers. "Maybe you won't? On another, totally dramatic episode of," he stopped in his tracks and the camera zoomed out with each further word, "Total! Drama! Action!"
(Theme Song)
The episode began with, of all things, a close-up of some brown and beany mush plopping onto a plate. The camera panned up to reveal its source as burrito beans in the hands of Jasmine being put together. Shots of Ripper, MK, and Justin also showed them making burritos as well.
The camera zoomed out to show the four constructing burritos on the table next to the tent's entrance while Topher and Anne Maria were at the other table, the former overseeing the quartet as he stood on the table and the latter simply applying lipstick to her lips.
“Ten more seconds, guys! The biggest burrito wins!” Topher declared and looked at Anne Maria. “Do you think I'd make a good reality show host?”
Anne Maria put her lipstick away. “Can you excuse me? I'm working on my facial features,” she said.
“But you already worked on yourself in the morning,” Topher said.
“You'd do the same if your hair was lookin’ messy,” Anne Maria retorted.
“Touché,” Topher pulled back.
“And time is up, folks!” MK informed everybody with her watch.
"Ripper, what do you got?” Topher asked the burly boy.
“Allow me to demonstrate my beefcake burrito!” Ripper held up his plate - his burrito has no wrapping and simply consisted of beef shaped into a cake. “I actually managed to make a cake out of beef.”
“How interesting,” Topher observed after getting off the table. “Jasmine, how about you?”
“These are my twin burritos!” Jasmine said with a plate that had two burritos tied together with an elastic rubber band.
“You actually wrapped your burritos?” Topher inspected heavily.
“Of course I did,” Jasmine nodded. “Twins are sometimes inseparable, and it's a good thing that these burritos aren't Siamese, otherwise they would have tried to eat one another.”
Topher laughed at her quip. “Points for that quip,” he said and made his way over to MK. “MK, how did you manage to make your burrito?”
“I am proud to present the MK Whopper!” MK took her burrito out from under the table and presented it - the burrito was shaped to look like MK with the beans as the body, wrap pieces as the hat and clothes, a sliced piece of tomato as the mouth, and pieces of beef as the eyes.
“The burrito is self-serving, but quality effort regardless,” Jasmine commented.
“Quality? Check out the guns on these beans,” Justin objected as his leitmotif played and he whipped out his burrito shaped to look like a flexing bicep. He even flexed his own bicep and moved his eyebrow in order to impress the contestants, but they were unfazed. “Nothing. You feel nothing?”
“Nope,” Jasmine shook her head.
“I was never once into you, Justin,” MK added as well.
“Man, this scratched schnoz has destroyed my looks and my life!” Justin moped. “Why?”
“MK, your self-art and ego is unsurprising, but you did make the biggest and best burrito, so you win,” Topher told her.
“This isn't right,” Justin protested and was now out of his seat. “I demand a second neutral opinion.”
“I'm no doctor or anything, but we all have reality-show-itis, and it's making us turn things into a challenge,” Anne Maria spoke up.
“I'm not sure if that's a thing, but I can't help myself when this day is bland and boring,” Topher said.
Confessional: Justin
“When my good looks went, so did my winning edge,” Justin told the viewers. “But some people are still managing to kick butt, and they're not nearly as good looking as I am!” He paused to think about what he said. “Okay, as I was.”
Confessional Ends
Justin was now sitting next to Anne Maria. “You know, you're the only one taking the game seriously. I just wish I knew how you did it all. It's so inspirational.”
“I'm just playing the game the best I know how,” Anne Maria said. “And it's not by sabotage like Scott did to me.”
“Scott also sabotaged my chances in the game as well,” Justin continued. “Hey, we have something in common.”
“Yeah we do, now go away,” Anne Maria ordered. “I don't know if they'll be a challenge, and I'd like to relax in peace.”
A few off-camera footsteps gave everyone pause, and they looked towards the room's entrance as the shot moved to a side-view of the room. Chef Hatchet had entered wearing a faded purple Medieval-styled costume, complete with a simple horn bearing a flag marked with a simple black-and-purple shield.
He blew a few awkward notes, then the camera moved in for a close-up as he made an announcement. "Hear ye, and rise! For Sir Chris!"
"Sir?!" Jasmine repeated with disbelief. "This Bruce's ego is fussing me to heaps!"
The shot moved back out to show Chris McLean riding atop the same decrepit-looking horse that had been used for a much earlier episode. He was wearing a knight's helmet and holding what looked to be a boot made of glass, and dismounted once Chef laid out a small rug for him to stand on.
"Hold on," Topher said slowly. "Glass slipper. Medieval stuff. This must be a Fairy Tale theme!"
"Topher," Chris said with stern annoyance, "if you ever steal my intro again, I'll have to personally boot you off the show."
"Hey, you can't do that!" Topher protested. "You brought me onto this show!"
"This boot," Chris said happily, "will determine the Princess for today's Fairy Tale movie challenge! The rest of you," he added as the camera panned across the tent from right to left, "compete for the honor of rescuing the fair Princess."
Anne Maria immediately raised her hand eagerly. "I wanna be the Princess!"
"I said the fair Princess," Chris repeated. "And what we think is fair is that the candidates be the ladies who haven't had a win since the merge: MK," he looked at the unamused techno, "and Jasmine." The focus moved to the Outback girl, who merely raised an eyebrow.
Confessional: Jasmine
"Okay, I am not Princess material," Jasmine said in the make-up confessional. "Not only am I too tall to fit the role, but I'm not really interested in fairy tales."
Confessional Ends
A short drumroll preceded an even shorter chanted note as MK and Jasmine approached the end of the table closest to the tent entrance.
"Yeah, there's no way that I'm gonna be some Princess, McLean!" MK barked at the host who was standing nearby with the glass boot still in his hand. "And don't even try to jam that boot on my foot."
"Okay," Chris said slowly, "that's a no for MK. Jasmine, you're up."
"Well, I'm not fond of fairy tales," Jasmine said, "but I might as well."
"Hold on there, Thunder from Down Under," Chris told her. "You have to put the boot on first. Make sure you're actually Princess material."
Jasmine frowned. "Okay then." She sat on the end of the table, slipped off one of her shoes, and tried to force it on.
The host and other castmates watched as she grunted and began to sweat, trying to get the boot onto her foot. Eventually, she let out a disappointed breath and held the boot back up. "It's no use," Jasmine told the host. "I can't get it on, and even then, it would shatter to pieces."
"Well," Chris said blankly, "guess that's both candidates out, unless MK changes her mind."
MK just glared at him. "Not a chance."
Anne Maria immediately grinned. "Yo Chris!"
"Looks like we have to do another selection method," Chris grabbed the glass boot and began to turn, only for Anne Maria to dart forward and snatch the footwear away from him.
Anne Maria swiftly tossed aside one of her heels and replaced it with the glass boot. "There," she said with a smile, raising her leg to show the boot glimmering on the end of it, "I always knew that I was meant to be royalty!"
"Fine, Anne Maria can be the Princess," Chris said heavily. "Let's just get this over with. Chef?" he looked back over his shoulder, and the shot pulled back to show the hulking man arriving back on the scene. He had changed into a pale blue ballerina's outfit, and had strapped a pair of fake wings to his back that, along with the glittering 'wand' in his hand, gave him the appearance of a fairy godmother.
"I dub thee, Princess Anne Maria," Chef said shortly as a touching song played, waving the wand above the grinning girl's head and releasing a cloud of sparkling dust that nearly choked Topher, Ripper, and Justin.
Confessional: MK
"Anne Maria as the Princess?" MK told the confessional camera with a snort and a laugh. "I wouldn't want to be in that Fairy Tale. Along with any others out there."
Confessional Ends
A harp played in the background as an image of Chris' head and a large hardcover book appeared on screen in front of a yellowish stock background. "It's story time, with uncle Chris," the host's disembodied head said before the scene flashed to him seated in a large purple armchair with the same book in hand. His left hand was on a joystick built into the arm of the chair, and he seemed to be slowly rolling through the set.
"Once upon a time," he began slowly, the camera pulling back to show the host rolling up to the contestants minus Anne Maria on a wheeled platform, his chair joined by a matching footstool, pedestal side table, and even a fireplace. "Five brave knights went on a quest to rescue a Princess from her ivory tower." He pulled back on the joystick, and the platform came to a stop. "But, it wasn't gonna be easy! First," he looked at the staircase behind him, "the knights had to get past my very good friend," the shot quick-panned up and left to Chef, now dressed in a tattered vest and trousers with a long moss-green wig and beard, "the Terrible Toothless Troll!" The shot zoomed in on Chef as he quickly blackened a few of his front teeth with a sharpie. "And, his Bad Breaks Bridge!"
The camera zoomed out even further as a few ominous chants played in the background, showing a large mountainous set featuring a rickety rope bridge over a treacherous and craggy fake waterfall. The contestants gulped.
"To get past the Terrible Toothless Troll," Chris read on, "the knights had to wear disguises! There was the Frog Prince," he grabbed a vaguely frog-like great helm from behind his chair and tossed it to Justin, "and the Ugly Stepsister," he tossed a large wig of wavy red hair in a tall bun to MK. "Snow White," he tossed a pink sleep mask to Jasmine, "and one of her Seven Dwarves," he followed that up by throwing a tall wizard's hat patterned with stars, moons, and lightning bolts to Topher. "Aaand," the host finished by pulling out a bright red hooded cape, "Little Red Riding Hood."
He tossed it to Ripper, who raised an eyebrow as he caught it. "Seriously? Can't I just be Riding Red?"
"No dice dude. That's what it says in the script," Chris told him as an unseen intern delivered a plate of milk and cookies to the host's side table. He turned and grabbed one, saying "Good work, kid," before continuing his monologue. "And so, the Ugly approached the Terrible Troll."
"I can't see in this thing!" MK said.
"Oh yeah," Chris said to a dramatic rise in the background music, "for this challenge, each knight is blind." The five teens immediately began to protest, causing the host to snap at them. "Nowhere in this story does it say 'the cowardly knights complained'!" he told the cast with a brief glance at his book. "So get it together, steppy, and get crossing!"
The footage skipped ahead to show MK slowly inching her way across the bridge while holding on to one of the rope rails. "This ain't too bad," she said to herself. She was hit by several red apples in rapid succession, causing her to yelp in pain.
"Oh, also," Chris said as the shot cut back to him, "those are Wicked Witch's apples, so, they're poisonous and rotten. You might wanna watch..."
He stopped talking as the shot cut back to MK slipping on one of the apples and fell off the bridge to the rocky set below. The camera followed as she fell and bounced off of several outcroppings before landing onto the hard ground. The shot cut briefly to the other contestants as they winced in pain before cutting back to the techno girl lying awkwardly on the ground with an apple in her mouth.
"Well, looks like MK isn't fairy tale hero material," Chris commented, dunking one of his cookies into his glass of milk. The short girl writhed in pain.
Confessional: MK
MK had on a neck brace and bandages around her head and torso, "I'm having trouble remembering what happened after the fall. Does that mean I have a concussion?"
Confessional Ends
A harp was played as the footage cut back to the other contestants standing at the start of the bridge. "Next, the eighth dwarf," Chris said as he moved his platform around towards the far staircase. "He grabbed a fistful of courage and headed across the bridge."
Topher glanced over at Chef. The man had hunched over, and was slapping a cat o' nine tails against his hand with a wild grin. He took a deep breath, put on the wizard’s hat over his eyes, and charged forward with a battle cry. Chef raised his eyebrows and rushed out to stop him, but he jumped onto a rope rail and ran through it until he was past Chef.
"Did I make it?" Topher asked, having reached the other side.
Confessional: Topher
"Poise classes have taught me to always be aware of my surroundings, whether I’m blindfolded or not," Topher grinned. "And with Anne Maria as the Princess, I’m not botching this one."
Confessional Ends
The footage skipped ahead to Jasmine's attempt, the sleeping mask already over her eyes and her hands firmly on the ropes of the bridge as she walked forward at a steady pace. Chef squeezed a mother goose, launching a golden egg out of its rear like a bullet. It shot past the girl's shoulder. "What was that?" Jasmine asked as she moved her head to track it. A second egg hit her square in the chest, knocking her back a step and putting a grin on Chef's face.
Jasmine frowned for a moment, then took a cautious step that was apparently at the bridge's weak point. The camera zoomed in on the bridge as it rippled, knocking loose every plank all the way to Chef. With a gasp and a scream, the troll and his goose fell, and the scene cut to him as he grabbed something behind his back. "They don't pay me enough for this!" Chef yelled, pulling the cord of a hidden parachute and floating down safely.
Jasmine was unaware of the danger and took one more step, expectedly screaming and falling. The camera cut to Chris as he followed the Amazon girl's fall and winced at the sound of an impact. "Awesome!" he cheered. "You’re up, froggy." The scene cut to the start of the bridge where Justin stood. "Then Captain Hood after that."
Justin put on his helmet. "At least my face will be protected from further indignity," he said as he slowly moved towards the bridge. He walked right shoulder into one of the posts holding up the bridge.
Ripper laughed. "Tough break, pretty boy," he jeered. "Go a little to the right." The eye candy followed the advice and walked into the other pole, causing Ripper to laugh. "Sorry man!" the bully called before laughing again.
Chef was shown running past the center of the bridge with an ax raised and ready to strike, while Justin stayed at the bridge completely oblivious. Ripper laughed once more and pushed the model into the cook. "Let me give you a hand," he said as he did so. Chef brought his ax down and hit the hot boy's helmet, causing the eyes to spin comically and Ripper to laugh once more.
Confessional: Justin
“There I was, down dirty, and deafened,” Justin recapped his failure. “And I thought "W.W.A.M.D.": What would Anne Maria do? And then it came to me! She'd use her head.”
Confessional Ends
With a battle cry, Justin rushed the cook with his helmet and ran him over, safely making it to the other side. "Justin's still got it!" Chris said as the camera cut to him. "All right, the final knight attempting to enter Fairy Tale Land is," the shot cut to Ripper as he tied a blindfold over his eyes and faced away from the camera, "Riding Red! We're over this way!"
"My seeing is good," Ripper said as he turned around. The camera cut to his perspective to show that he could actually see Chef putting on a blonde pigtailed wig. "I'm able to see Chef as a female troll! Hilarious!"
"Rapunzel dude, let down your hair!" Chris called, and Chef lengthened one of the pigtails and began swinging it around. He cracked it like a whip at the bully, who dodged it.
The camera cut to Justin watching Ripper avoid every attack. "Hey! He can see!" he cried.
"How?" Chris asked sarcastically. "With his X-ray vision? That'd be cool."
Chef attacked one last time, but Ripper grabbed onto the pigtail and swung across to safety with a whoop.
The footage skipped ahead to a close-up of Chris's book as he began to narrate once again. "And so, the Terrible Toothless Troll knocked off two losers," the shot pulled back to show Jasmine, wearing a leg cast and her right arm in a sling, and MK sitting on the ground nearby. "But," the camera panned over to Justin, Ripper, and Topher on the right, "three semi-brave knights made it to the other side and continued on their noble quest. Whereupon I, in my wisdom, inspired them with a vision of Princess Anne Maria."
The shot pulled back even further, revealing that the group had assembled in front of a small stage with a pink-tinted backdrop depicting a large white castle off in distant hillsides. A slow piano melody began to play as Anne Maria, now dressed in a regal-looking pink gown and tiara, was lowered onto the stage by a few wires.
"When I was a little girl, I'd dream of my first kiss," Anne Maria began to sing in a rather mediocre voice the moment she hit the stage and the wired harness was reeled back up. "It would come from my perfect prince!" A number of tiny birds and chipmunks gathered around her, the birds even landing on her hands. "And in my dream, it went like this!"
The scene immediately cut to the three remaining knights as they watched the performance. Justin and Topher were both stunned by her display, while Ripper couldn't care less.
“She's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen,” Justin said.
Definitely,” Topher chimed in.
“I must've been so busy seeing her as a potential alliance member and extra vote that I didn't see her outer beauty. Wow,” Justin continued in amazement. “We'll be the best looking couple in the kingdom!”
The music came to a halt as Topher and Ripper were surprised by what just came out of Justin's mouth.
“Excuse me, but I am still dating her!” Topher objected heavily.
“And there's no way she'll ever be into you,” Ripper told Justin.
“I saw you cheat, Ripper,” Justin let him know. “You don't deserve to be anybody's prince.”
“And who died and made you the rule master?” Ripper faced the handsome boy threateningly.
"Guys, guys!" Chris said, stepping forward and getting between the boys. "No need to fight! At least not until after this break," he declared happily. "Will Ripper inflict any deformities on Justin? Or will Justin's ripped physique bring two tons of hurt down on Topher's head? Find out when we come back!"
(Commercial Break)
The footage came back to a distance shot of the stage Anne Maria was still singing on, her music resuming as the shot cut closer.
"My prince will be tall and handsome," she sang, the camera panning down to catch Justin standing straight and proud. "My prince will be tough as nails," Ripper flexed his biceps and then lifted a startled Topher over his head.
"My prince will have lots of money," Anne Maria continued, the camera moving back on her as she showered the stage with a wad of cash. "My prince will tame wild whales!" She flexed her own arms, Chris nodded to the beat, and the shot cut to Topher looking at a small and rather disoriented baleen whale on the floor in confusion.
The shot panned down to Jasmine and MK who were watching the performance with boredom on their faces.
"How are you feeling about the whole Fairy Tale thing?" Jasmine asked MK.
"Couldn't care less," MK answered bluntly. "I just don't know why we have to keep watching though."
A close-up was shown of Anne Maria reaching for a wary-eyed frog in a small crown, the Jersey girl pulling it closer to her as she finished her song. "When we kiss~, my prince will be you~!" As the music ended, she held up the frog and kissed it on the lips, but broke almost immediately in a fit of revulsion.
Anne Maria threw the frog away from her, and it landed on Justin's face. "Warts! Get it off!" he cried out as he ran around trying to get the frog out.
"Wasn't that song brilliant?" Chris asked as the focus moved back to him, Jasmine, and MK. "It was so brilliant, I know everyone wishes they could hear it over, and over, and over again! And now they can." He snapped his fingers, and a CD case bearing Princess Anne Maria's picture on the cover was placed in his waiting hand.
"Relive the magic of Anne Maria for only $12.99," he told the camera as a deep and theatrical tune began to play. "Call 555-SELLOUT to get your authentic Princess Anne Maria CD," he added as the camera zoomed in on the case, "before everyone else downloads it illegally!"
"I'll take one!" Topher quickly begged, earning him a CD. "This will be worth spending thirteen dollars of my money."
Confessional: Topher
"My prince will buy me lots of hot dogs! My prince will love ponies too!" Topher was listening to the CD through headphones as his confessional began. "Her singing isn't the best, but I do want to support her," he told the camera.
Confessional Ends
"After risking my life for you, I have come to realize this!" Justin said as he approached the stage. "You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. And the smartest. What are the odds?"
He offered his hand to Anne Maria, but she didn't take it. "Thanks for telling me what I already know!"
"Uhh, aren't you going to compliment me on my bravery?" Justin asked.
"Nah! Princesses are supposed to be complimented in my world,” Anne Maria said, to Justin's disappointment. “It's not their job to give them out to anyone, but for me, I'll make an exception for Topher, the handsomest knight around!”
The camera moved to Ripper rolling her eyes and Topher smiling. “And you are the most beautiful princess around!” Topher complimented back before a sound caught the attention of both. They turned their heads at once and the scene followed their gaze over to Chef, still in his troll costume but now riding the same fly-ridden horse from earlier in the episode.
"How has that horse not died yet?" MK commented. "It can't be in good condition after all their time being used on this show."
"Just because it's a little old, doesn't mean it's not fighting for their life," Jasmine told her.
Anne Maria hopped onto the horse's back while Ripper and Topher came over. “Are we supposed to catch him?" Topher asked.
"No, it's a classic princess abduction," Chris explained calmly. "As the villain makes a whirlwind getaway on a swift steed."
Chef kicked the horse with his feet, but it didn't react. "Guess ol' Betsy here didn't read the script," he said gruffly.
"Kick harder," Chris commanded, and Chef promptly complied. A stronger kick caused the horse to kick backwards, hitting Justin – who had been standing closest - right in the face.
"That did it," Chef said as Justin was shown to have a few teeth knocked out and a bruised right eye.
"So, that's how the three knight dudes lost the Princess," Chris narrated, "But fate, aka me, wasn't finished with them." Chef and Anne Maria rode off behind him. "They followed the troll all the way to a fight to the death, because that's how I like my princesses saved."
"Sir Topher!" Anne Maria called out playfully as she was slowly abducted. "You better be the one who rescues me!"
"These two haven't even got a chance!" Topher replied arrogantly.
"As good luck, I'll give you my favor to carry into the battle!" Anne Maria tossed the glass boot, but it unintentionally hit Justin in the face.
Confessional: Justin
Justin was having his bruises covered up by make-up brushes from two unknown people while the glass boot was on the table.
“Falling for Anne Maria has been hard on the face. I think we'll have a no glass shoes policy if we start dating soon,” Justin informed and put the boot away. “I have no idea what Chase and Millie's policies are, but they're probably less dignified.”
Confessional Ends
The footage cut forward to a close-up of the old horse chewing on some hay before the camera panned over to a small castle archway propped up against a tower of some sort. "Sir Justin, Sir Topher, and Sir Ripper reached the ivory tower in which the troll had stuck the super tanned princess," Chris read as the three remaining competitors walked into the scene and he followed on his rolling platform. The shot panned up the towers, where several other pieces of crenelated wall had been attached here and there, and at the very top there was a pinkish spire and balcony where Princess Anne Maria waited.
"But there was only one way to rescue her," the host continued with a grin on his face and tense music building in the background. "One of the brave knights had to slay the dragon!"
"Dragon?!" Jasmine asked in alarm. "Tell me you didn't get a real dragon for this!"
"Seeing as dragons don't exist," MK told her, "I find that highly unlikely."
"She's right," Chris said as the music switched to something more ominously lurking. "We're reusing the alien monster guy."
Seconds later, a few tremendous mechanical footsteps were heard. MK and Jasmine looked to stage right and the camera pulled back, showing off the animatronic monster in all its glory. Chef was wearing the motion capture suit that controlled it, and it had been given a hood with horns, a scraggly 'beard', and two tiny wings in order to make it look more draconic. Chef raised his arms menacingly, and the monster echoed the pose and growled.
"Let the dragon slaying begin!" Chris announced, pulling out a trio of wooden swords and throwing them to the knights. Ripper caught the shortest, Topher the most slender, and Justin the broadest, and the three turned to face the tower and dragon.
"I'm counting on you, Sir Topher!" Anne Maria called from above, smiling at the fanboy and blowing him a kiss. He accepted it with a grin, and Anne Maria turned her attention to the other two knights and frowned. "As for you two, you'll need all the luck you can get."
"Yeah, cause I'll be the one who's going to slay today!" Topher boasted before turning and charging at the dragon.
"Not so fast," Justin charged at Topher and the two clashed their swords into each other's, only breaking when they noticed a foot-shaped shadow fall upon them. They rolled out of the way before the monster stomped them, and the camera panned over to Justin landing next to Ripper.
“You want Topher to win?” Justin faced Ripper.
“Like I care which one of you wins,” Ripper scoffed.
“Then help me take him down and I'll let you win,” Justin offered.
Ripper thought about it, and the viewpoint moved over to Chef guiding the monster in stomping and snapping at Topher. He was able to strike the dragon's head with his sword. “You are not going to stop me from rescuing Anne Maria!” the fanboy told the dragon.
“Just get them both chasing you,” Ripper suggested.
“And why?” Justin asked.
“Do you want to stop that monster or not?” Ripper glared. “Just do it!”
Justin sighed but complied, and both Topher and the Chef-controlled monster made moves to chase after him while Ripper watched from the sidelines.
“Are you going to fight me or run away from me?!” Topher asked with a taunt.
“Justin, you're going to stop running in 3…2…1!” Ripper ordered, and Justin paused his dash.
Topher also stopped chasing him as well, and the dragon, who was still trying to chase the others, caught its foot on Topher and somehow tripped. It flailed its arms humorously before crashing to the ground.
"A job well done," Ripper said as he ran over to the large red button on the side of the beast's neck. “Now to claim my second immunity win in a row!” he said as he readied his sword to finish it off, but Justin came up to push him off the dragon and onto the floor.
"Sorry Ripper," Justin told him. "If Izzy was the prize, I'm sure you'd do the same thing." He plunged his sword into the dragon's neck, causing it to fizzle and short out. "Anne Maria," he dramatically called out, "your prince is coming."
"Some prince," Ripper mocked.
The camera panned to the right to show Chris' moving platform as he arrived with Jasmine and MK in tow.
"Wanna rescue Princess Anne Maria too?" he asked the camera. "Now you can, for only $79.95!" he pulled out a pink-and-yellow striped box and held it up for the camera, a vaguely Anne Maria-shaped doll barely visible inside. "Order your very own Princess Anne Maria Limited Edition Glass Boot Doll! Playing with the Anne Maria doll is more fun and less dangerous than playing with the real Anne Maria. Guaranteed!" He finished with a cheesy grin.
The scene cut to the top of the ivory tower as Justin climbed up to the balcony where Anne Maria waited. "I have arrived!" Justin announced.
"Not the guy I was expecting, but a reward is a reward," Anne Maria grumbled and the two moved in for a kiss.
"Wait, wait, there's no kissing!" Chris interrupted the two from his chair.
“What?” Justin felt confused.
“Oh yeah!” Topher cheered from under the dragon.
"It says here that Prince Justin and Princess Anne Maria must sword fight to determine the true winner!" Chris explained while reading off his book.
"Which means I still have a chance at winning immunity?" Anne Maria asked quickly.
"You're much smarter than most princesses," Chris replied.
"Usually, most fairy tales end with a kiss," Jasmine said.
"Well, this is a modern tale," Chris explained. "Gals have to fight for themselves."
“You can say that again,” MK agreed.
“If that's how it has to be-” Anne Maria said.
“No,” Justin cut her off, now kneeling on one leg. “I am a noble gentleman. A brave knight. A handsome prince. I would never hurt a lady.”
“But you would hurt a guy working with you,” Ripper interjected after getting up on his feet.
“I said I was sorry, Ripper,” Justin told him with annoyance and focused back on Anne Maria. “I refuse to raise a sword to Anne Maria.” Anne Maria took the sword from him. “I give up any chance at immunity to spare her. And now…”
Justin puckered his lips and moved close, only for his eyes to widen. The camera pulled back to show the hilt of the sword buried in his crotch.
“Not sorry! I'm already taken!" Anne Maria declared before pushing Justin off.
Justin fell with a scream until he hit one of the 'towers' on his cheek. He kept on hitting one tower after another until he hit the ground on his back in severe pain. “I'm okay!”
The camera panned over to Chris and the other losers. "Anne Maria wins immunity! Again!" the host announced.
"Yes!" Anne Maria cheered.
The opening sequence of the Gilded Chris Ceremony came and went, leaving the scene focused on the tux-wearing host at his podium. "So," Chris began with an award already in his hand, "with immunity, Anne Maria is the first to win a Gilded Chris." He tossed the statuette to the girl, sitting on the left side of the bleachers, and she caught it with a smug grin.
"Immunity and my own dolls? How much better can this day get?" Anne Maria said.
"Well, it's not like you're getting the profits from the Princess Anne Maria line," Chris said plainly.
Anne Maria's eyes popped open in shock. "Uh, what?!" she said in outrage. “It's my line!”
“I’m saying that you're not going to get the profits because they’ll be sent over to your family for safekeeping, along with a Princess Anne Maria doll,” Chris explained. “I don't want any of my interns or producers to take what's rightfully yours. Lawsuits and all.”
“Oh!” Anne Maria said in relief. “I'm relieved, but I'm also upset that you made me act like an idiot!”
"Then you should have let me finish! Also still in the competish," Chris announced with another two awards in his hand, "MK and Jasmine." The former caught her prize in her lap with a confident grin, and the latter with a happy smile.
"And also Ripper," the host continued, the camera panning to the bully who smiled as he caught his award.
Spotlights were put on Justin and Topher, the former in a body cast. "Who will live happily ever after, and who will die penniless," Chris said as the music built dramatically. "And the last Gilded Chris goes to… Justin!"
"What?!" Anne Maria stood up. "You have to be joking! Justin should be going home!"
"Yeah, you're right. I was just kidding," Chris said. "Justin's actually the one who's been eliminated."
Topher caught his award. “I knew I would be safe.”
Confessional: Topher
“I told everybody to vote off Justin,” Topher confirmed. “He tried to move in on my girlfriend, and him getting booted would serve him right. The best part is, everybody was on board with it and I didn’t even have to try and convince them.”
Confessional Ends
Justin got up and started to head to the red carpet, but stopped to look at the contestants. “So is no one even going to miss me?”
“I never liked you,” MK shrugged.
“See ya,” Ripper said apathetically. “Get better soon, or sometime.”
“Okay, stop already! I'm going! But you'll regret it,” Justin told them and walked to the red carpet. Before getting into the limousine, he gave one last look to the remaining players. “With me gone, this competition just got eighty percent less handsome.” The eye candy turned around, only to hit his head on the roof. “All right, seventy-nine!” he groaned.
The footage paused there, and the camera pulled back to show it on one of the monitors in the control tent. Chris was sitting in his chair playing with a couple of Princess Anne Maria dolls, a few more scattered on the nearby desk.
"I know what I told Anne Maria, but marketing says that our target audience is too old for dolls," Chris told the camera as the footage on the monitor cut to static. "They're just not selling!" He looked to the side, and the camera panned to follow and show Chef playing with a group of Princess Anne Maria dolls dressed up as soldiers.
"Princesses, attack!" he said with a dark grin, lighting a miniature cannon with a match as the deeper and more dramatic ending theme began to play. The cannon fired with a puff, blowing the heads off two of the dolls.
Chris gave him an odd look, then turned back to the camera. "Hey target audience! Make sure you don't miss the next kiss-filled episode of Total! Drama! Action!" As soon as he finished saying the title, he mashed the mouths of the two dolls he was holding together and made kissing sounds. "Now you see, Chef," he told his companion, "that's how you play with dolls."
(Roll the Credits)
(Bonus Clip)
The scene opened to Justin sitting on the back seat of the limousine with the glass boot in hand. “What I've learned? Well, maybe that good looks won't take you everywhere you want to go,” he said wisely. “I mean, what have I ended up with? A wounded face, a bruised ego, and a shoe that I can't even wear. Maybe if I stopped modeling and threw all my energy into getting smarter, more girls could fall in love with me,” he thought. “But modeling pays. And Jesús, my booker, says that even with my severe facial wounds, he can get me a bunch of leg modeling and some celebrity kid's birthday party. So, love schmove.” He threw the glass boot out the window, and a shattering sound indicated that the boot was destroyed.
Eva - 15th
Geoff - 15th
Izzy - RETURNED
Trent - 13th
Sky - 12th
Brick - 11th
Scott - 10th
Izzy - 9th
Millie - 8th
MERGE
Chase - 7th
Justin - 6th
Boys: Ripper, Topher
Girls: Anne Maria, Jasmine, MK

My husband and I are 45 and 44 respectively. We married almost 18 years ago, his 2nd marriage, my 1st. He had 2 kids from his previous marriage. I never had any kids prior to our marriage. He pursued me strongly, and despite the fact that I typically wouldn't date someone with kids, or someone who smoked, he won me over. (He lied about smoking for a while but I ended up smelling it on him; huge turnoff and I have my reasons for not dating smokers.) After we got married we started discussing when we wanted to start a family. He said that he really wanted to start a family with me. I ended up agreeing so went off BC. We got pregnant only a few months after "trying". As soon as I got pregnant, he said we made a mistake. (On top of that, the news wasn't well received by hardly anyone I know except some coworkers. It was so strange, because we both had jobs, we had our own place, fully independent, no substance abuse issues besides him smoking, etc.) During the pregnancy and after our amazing daughter was born, he became really disinterested and disconnected from me. I used to think IF I ever had kids, that I may want 2 so they could each have a sibling. It ended up being so stressful between me and my husband, and his kids from his previous marriage, and his EX, that I didn't have another.
Since then, it's been like pulling teeth to get him to do anything with me, anything with our daughter and me, etc. It doesn't matter if it's going to the neighbors' house for a couple hours or going an hour away somewhere. Doing anything outside of "his" room or outside our house is a monumental task that usually starts with a HUGE argument. I feel like a single mom so often. We're in our own world, and he's in his. I'm the one who has homeschooled her while also working full-time, managed her extra activities, now starting college prep, etc. He has NOTHING to do with it. It's really hard to even get him to attend any of her activities as an observer. If he does, he whines the whole time. I'm the one who has taught her things like how to drive, how to fish, how to do yard work, how to cook, etc.
His reasons over time for not going anywhere with me and/or our daughter have included: he was really overweight and felt insecure in public (he lost all the weight he gained and then some); he couldn't go that long without smoking (he actually wasn't even a chain smoker and quit smoking 3 years ago); money (we BOTH work demanding jobs full-time and make almost the same salary, which is about 6X the average for our area); work (we BOTH work remotely at HOME, which is part of the reason I would like to take a break from the house occasionally), and more.
He is ONLY interested in me if we are about to have sex.
I didn't get married 18 years ago just for a sex partner. I got married to have a life partner.
Why have we not gotten a divorce? Our finances are entangled. We just bought a house a couple years ago that I love after selling the one we lived in for a long time. We have a daughter together.
And I know this isn't one sided. His disinterest in having any kind of relationship with me outside of sex pisses me off. So every time he says NO to yet another thing, I often get mad. There are many times now that I just don't even ask because I know he's going to say no. Why should I have to BEG him to do anything with me, like watch a movie in the living room or go out to eat? I'm not asking for a trip out of the country.
He NEVER suggests we go anywhere of course. And as I just mentioned, he won't even sit in the same room as me to watch anything on TV...movie or anything.
Like I said, we BOTH work full-time, and we both bring in about the same salary. My job also provides our insurance. I cook great (but he usually refuses to eat anything I cook), I clean the disgusting stuff he doesn't want to (like HIS piss and shit off the toilets, all the sinks, etc.) He also does some things around the house thankfully, BUT also uses those specific things as a reason to not go anywhere. He can't go because he has to empty the trash cans. We use a lawn service so he doesn't have much yard work to do. And he doesn't hardly repair or fix anything himself (that's me OR he insists on paying a repair man), so it's not like he has home projects to work on.
I'm just so lonely and I don't understand what to do besides get a divorce. Divorce seems impossible due to the house, finances, and impact on our child (yet we fight SO OFTEN, which I know is also bad). I can't recall being able to go through a full day without fighting unless we weren't around each other much. Since the first year of our marriage, he has threatened divorce in so many arguments, and they're usually dumb petty/small arguments about something illogical. (His parents divorced when he was a teen; my parents have been married over 50 years.) When I try to have regular discussions with him, he jumps to one extreme or another. For example about our marriage in general, he says because it's not completely horrible 100% of the time we don't have issues. Or because he doesn't do drugs or doesn't drink, etc. I should be happy. Seems like an incredibly low bar. And I don't even have super high expectations.
I would like to be able to do "normal" things with my husband so I don't think getting a friend would solve this issue. I know spouses can have separate activities and I'm totally fine with that. BUT there must be a way to do things besides just sex together. Otherwise what is the point. (He won't even sit down to eat with me at our table at home...in case it's not obvious what I really mean with refusing to do stuff with me.)
TL;DR: Husband refuses to be my partner and acts like a roommate the majority of the time.