Diagrams that shows the pathway of blood through the heart

I was at a local vintage toy and record store and wanted to buy a Pantera record and my mom said no. I have had problems with her in the past about the whole Phil racism thing and told her to watch the full video of what happened that night. She didn’t. She also said that someone died at a Pantera show in the past named Dimebag and I told her the story of his death. She was saying horrible things about the band and from what I just typed she clearly was spewing false nonsense without knowing anything about the band and the Phil incident. I know that no good attack the radical is an anti racism song and I told her to listen and read through the lyrics but has turned it down time and time again. She says she doesn’t want me playing Pantera because they are racist. I’ve told her to sperate the art from the artist but has not done so. I don’t get why someone who knows so little about something can make assumptions about them. I’ve told her that if they were so bad why would they be selling these albums? Never gave me an answer. She tells me to be opened minded but she is clearly not. I know what Phil did was bad and has apologized for it and is not a racist at heart. And I know that he has been viewed differently because of the way he looks assuming that he’s a skinhead. If any one has any advice on how to make her understand me and the music it would be greatly appreciated. I don’t like how she is just blindly reading the headlines and not looking further into the band. It makes me mad. Just venting and hopefully get some advice from this.

Selling my personal collection. Over 800 Games.
Sorry my bad english. Paypal ff.
Free Shipping over $100. More photos at request. Offers are welcome. Most of these Prices are based on Pricharting (and pricecharting price are inaccurate so sorry im lazy to put my prices for these 800 games) Offers are welcome Worst can say is no.There's a problem with letter T jumps to C in switch and vita to A. working on it. Also i have all 3 blaster master games. Want to sell them together with Slipcover.
https://imgur.com/a/ntp4d6Q

Nintendo Switch
13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim	CIB+	32.92 SOLD
1971 Project Helios	New	15.41
AI: The Somnium Files	CIB+	60.5
ARMS	CIB+	30.5
Adventure Time: Pirates of the Enchiridion	New	25.68
AeternoBlade II	New	35.5
Afterparty	New	38
Aggelos	New	38.22
Alex Kidd in Miracle World DX	New	18.98
Alwa's Collection	New	25.62
American Hero	New	40.49
Ancestors Legacy	New	24.07
Annapurna Interactive [Deluxe Limited Edition Collection]	New	230.00
Ape Out [Special Reserve]	New	40.00
Ara Fell & Rise of the Third Power	New	57.24
Arcade Spirits	New	20
Archvale	New	51.25
Ary and the Secret of Seasons	New	12.52
Arzette: The Jewel of Faramore	New	55.00
Assassin's Creed: The Rebel Collection	CIB+	17.48
Astalon: Tears of the Earth	New	50.63
Astral Chain	New	48.99 SOLD
Astronite	New	19.48
Atelier Ryza 2: Lost Legends & the Secret Fairy	New	55.00 SOLD
Atelier Ryza: Ever Darkness and the Secret Hideout	CIB+	49.5
Atelier Ryza: Ever Darkness and the Secret Hideout	New	60.1
Attack on Titan 2: Final Battle	New	65.00
Azure Striker Gunvolt 3	New	48.5
Azure Striker Gunvolt: Striker Pack	CIB+	25.79
BROFORCE [SWITCH RESERVE]	New	40.00
BUTCHER	New	36.9
Balan Wonderworld	New	11.77
Baldur's Gate and Baldur's Gate II: Enhanced Editions	New	120.00 SOLD
Battle Chef Brigade Deluxe	CIB+	32.61
Battle Princess Madelyn: Royal Edition	New	52.88
Black Bird	New	55.5
Blade Runner: Enhanced Edition	New	48.72 SOLD
Blasphemous	CIB+	108.49 SOLD
Blaster Master Zero III	New	34.5
Blaster Master Zero II	New	40.49
Blaster Master Zero	New	44.14
Blazing Beaks	New	30.02
Blazing Chrome	CIB+	65.92
BloodRayne Betrayal: Fresh Bites	New	40.49
Bloodrayne 1 & 2: Revamped Dual Pack w/ Slipcover	New	100.47
Bloodstained: Curse Of The Moon 2	New	28.49
Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night	New	21.23
Blossom Tales II: The Minotaur Prince	New	46.48
Blossom Tales: The Sleeping King	CIB+	150.47 SOLD
Blue Fire	CIB+	28.49
Blue Reflection: Second Light	New	59.83
Bomb Chicken	CIB+	38.14
Boy and His Blob	New	50.49
Bug Fables: The Everlasting Sapling	New	55.93
Bugsnax	CIB+	30.77
Burnout Paradise Remastered	CIB+	14.98
COGEN: Sword of Rewind & Gunvolt Chronicles: Luminous Avenger iX 2 Double Pack	New	80.48
Cannon Dancer: Osman	New	54
Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker	CIB+	30.49
Captain Tsubasa: Rise of	New	Champions
Card Shark Collector's Edition	New	40.00
Carrion: Special Reserve Edition	New	40.00
Castlevania Anniversary Collection	New	40.00 SOLD
Cat Girl Without Salad: Amuse-Bouche	New	40.97
Cat Quest + Cat Quest II: Pawsome Pack	New	49.5
Cathedral	New	66.91
Celeste	New	62.39
Chicken Police - Paint it RED!	CIB+	13.25
Children of Morta	CIB+	22.09
Children of Zodiarcs	New	44.77
Citizens Unite! Earth X Space	New	29.49
Coffee Talk	New	42.15
Collar X Malice	New	30.49
Contra Anniversary Collection Konami Version	New	55.00
Cooking Mama: Cookstar	New	36.11
Corpse Killer: 25th Anniversary Edition	New	42.7
Cosmo Dreamer & Like Dreamer: Double-D Collection	New	25.00
Cris Tales	New	13.99
Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII Reunion	CIB+	25
Crossing Souls - Special Reserve	New	40.00
Crystal Crisis	New	31.52
Cthulhu Saves Christmas	New	45.17
Cult of the Lamb [Special Reserve]	New	72.48
DARQ: Complete Edition	New	38.97
DISC ROOM [SWITCH RESERVE]	New	30.00
DISTRAINT Collection	New	33.76
DOOM Eternal	New	89 SOLD
DOOM: The Classics Collection	New	50.5
DOOM	CIB+	28.9
DRAINUS	New	63.39
Dandara: Trials of Fear Edition	CIB+	41.29
Dark Devotion	New	45.49
Darksiders Genesis	CIB+	18
Darkwood	CIB+	108.46 SOLD
Dawn of the Monsters	New	50.36
Dead Cells: Return to Castlevania Edition	New	32.01
Dead or School	New	52.03
Deadly Premonition 2: A Blessing in Disguise	CIB+	16.77 SOLD
Deadly Premonition Origins	New	38.03
Death Road to Canada	New	40
Death end re;Quest	New	41.97
Death's Door [Special Reserve]	New	33.03 SOLD
Death's Gambit: Afterlife	New	38.72
Demon Throttle [Reserve Edition]	New	25.25
Demon Throttle [Reserve Edition]	New	25.25
Demon Turf	New	40.82
Demon's Tilt	New	44.5
Deponia Collection	New	83.14
Dex	New	48.38
Digimon Survive	New	20.95
Dimension Drive [Limited Edition]	New	65.48
DioField Chronicle	CIB+	25.46 SOLD
Disaster Report 4: Summer Memories	CIB+	25.5
Disgaea 5 Complete	New	39.5
Disney Classic Games: Aladdin and the Lion King	New	18.29
Disney Tsum Tsum Festival	New	26.55
DoDonPachi Resurrection	New	55.38
Dodgeball Academia	New	19.5
Doki Doki Literature Club Plus!	New	20.00
Doom 64	New	45.45
Double Dragon & Kunio-Kun Retro Brawler Bundle	New	52.83
Double Dragon IV	New	33.97
Double Dragon: Neon	New	50.49
Double Switch: 25th Anniversary Edition	New	55.89
Downwell [Special Reserve Edition]	New	60.00
Dragon Ball Z: Kakarot + A	New	Power Awakens Set Used 25.00
Dragon Quest Treasures	New	29.53
Dragon Quest XI S: Echoes of an Elusive Age - Definitive Edition	New	40.00
Dragon Star Varnir	New	45.49
Dragon's Dogma: Dark Arisen	CIB+	24.74
Dragon's Lair Trilogy	New	144.25
Dreamscaper	New	44.72
Dusk	New	44.49
Eastward	CIB+	20.3 SOLD
Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim	CIB+	35.31
Eldest Souls	New	45.5
Elliot Quest	New	28.48
Enclave HD	New	52.67
Ender Lilies: Quietus of the Knights	New	55.00
Endling - Extinction is Forever	New	25.76
Epic Chef	New	15.57
Espgaluda II	New	60.27
FAR: Lone Sails	New	49.69
FINAL FANTASY VII & VIII REMASTERED TWIN PACK	CIB+	37.63
Fairy Fencer F: Advent Dark Force	New	48.41
Falconeer: Warrior Edition	New	18.88
Fast RMX	New	71.73 SOLD
Fatal Twelve	New	44.49
Fault Milestone One	New	28.49
Fight'N Rage	New	45.49
Final Fantasy XII: The Zodiac Age	New	31.61
Fire Emblem Warriors: Three Hopes	New	20.17
Flinthook	New	45.49
Flipping Death	CIB+	28.39
Foretales	New	19.29
Forgotton Anne	CIB+	35.49
Fran Bow	New	111.48
Freedom Finger	CIB+	77.4
Freedom Planet	New	57.39
Friends Of Ringo Ishikawa	New	26.73
Furi	CIB+	48.64
Gal Metal: World Tour Edition	CIB+	17.69
Gato Roboto [Special Reserve Edition]	New	40.00
Ghost 1.0 + Unepic Collection: Standard Edition	New	30.00
Ghost of a Tale	New	66.61
Going Under	New	37.47
Golf Story	New	82.75
Gotta Protectors: Cart of Darkness	New	45.35
Grandia HD Collection	New	82.51
Great Ace Attorney Chronicles	CIB+	30.98
GrimGrimoire OnceMore [Deluxe Edition]	New	42.33 SOLD
Gunbrick: Reloaded	New	24.68
Gunlord X	New	90.00
Guns, Gore & Cannoli 1 & 2	New	140.00
Gunvolt Chronicles: Luminous Avenger iX	New	84.5
Gyakuten Saiban 123: Naruhodo Selection	New	41.49
Hades	New	39.19
Haven	New	45.49
Heaven's Vault	New	32.15
Hero Must Die. Again	New	56.5
Heroland Knowble Edition	New	18.63
Hollow Knight	CIB+	31.5
Horgihugh and Friends	New	28.18
Hot Wheels Unleashed	New	22.03
Hotline Miami Collection [Special Reserve]	New	40.00
ITTA [Steelbook Edition]	New	50.00
ITTA	CIB+	35.00
Ib	New	55.46
Ikenfell	New	42.56
Immortals Fenyx Rising	New	15.22
In Sound Mind: Deluxe Edition	New	21.81
Indivisible	New	19.41
Infernax	New	50.5
Inscryption [Special Reserve]	New	200.00
Ion Fury	New	35.35
Ittle Dew 2+	New	43.45
Jamestown+	New	50.98
Joe Dever's Lone Wolf	New	65.54
Katamari Damacy REROLL	New	23.45
Katanakami	New	42.3
Kaze and the Wild Masks	New	32.44
KeyWe	New	25.49
Killer Queen Black	New	16.13
King's Bounty II	New	17.85
Kingdom Hearts: Melody of Memory	New	20.59
Kingdoms of Amalur: Re-Reckoning	CIB+	19.98
Knights and Bikes	New	45.49
Kotodama: The 7 Mysteries of Fujisawa	New	19.45
L.A. Noire	CIB+	29.99
LEGO Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga	New	20.48
LUNARK	New	49.52
Lair of the Clockwork God	New	39.13
Layers of Fear: Legacy	New	147.86
Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel III - Extracurricular Edition	CIB+	31.77
Legend of Tianding	New	45.00
Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom	New	47.46
Letter: A Horror Visual Novel [Limited Edition]	New	73.75
Little Golf Journey	New	29.62
Little Nightmares II	CIB+	20.75
Lonely Mountains: Downhill SRG#46	New	86.79
Loop Hero [Collectors Edition]	New	40.00
Loop Hero	CIB+	25.00
Love Esquire [Limited Edition]	New	90.5
LoveKami Trilogy	New	35.00
Lumines Remastered	New	32.5
MONARK Deluxe Edition	New	37
Mario + Rabbids Sparks of Hope	CIB+	15.42
Marvel Ultimate Alliance 3: The Black Order	CIB	30.00 SOLD
Mato Anomalies	New	19.73
Mega Man 11	New	20.48
Mega Man Zero/ZX Legacy Collection	CIB+	24.5
Megadimension Neptunia VII	New	45.5
Mighty Gunvolt Burst	New	44.45
Mighty Switch Force! Collection	CIB+	45.49
Ministry of Broadcast	New	26.72
Minoria	New	50.47
Miracle Snack Shop [Limited Edition]	New	35.00
Missing	CIB+	35.5
Moero Chronicle Hyper	New	90.35
Moero Crystal H	New	50.77
Momodora: Reverie Under the Moonlight	New	71.68
Monster Hunter Generations Ultimate	New	42.69
Monster Hunter Stories 2: Wings of Ruin	New	31.49
Monster Sanctuary	New	58.46
Monstrum	New	38.5
Mother Russia Bleeds [Special Reserve]	New	45.00
Mother Russia Bleeds [Special Reserve]	New	45.00
Ms. Splosion Man	CIB+	31.98
Mulaka	New	60.00
Mummy Demastered	New	57.71
Murder By Numbers Collectors Edition	New	80.36
Mushihimesama	New	60.7
My Friend Pedro [Special Reserve Edition]	New	45.00
NEO: The World Ends With You	CIB+	20.5 SOLD
Narita Boy	New	45.55
NeoGeo Pocket Color Selection Vol. 1	New	43.06
Neon Abyss	New	42.38
Neversong & Pinstripe	CIB+	37.5
New Super Lucky's Tale	New	33.59
New Super Mario Bros. U Deluxe	New	39.5
Ni no Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch	New	26.5
NieR: Automata - The End of YoRHa Edition	New	39.5
Night Trap: 25th Anniversary Edition	New	56.06
Night in the Woods	New	59.92
Ninja Gaiden: Master Collection	New	50.42
No Man's Sky	CIB+	26.25
No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle	CIB+	35.92 SOLD
No More Heroes III	CIB+	15.5
No More Heroes	CIB+	40.5 SOLD
Ocean's Heart	New	53.33
Octahedron	New	45.43
Octopath Traveler II	New	39.99
Octopath Traveler	New	52.43 SOLD
Oddworld - Collection	New	36.25
Okami HD	New	32.99
One Step From Eden	New	34.15
Oniken + Odallus Collection	New	36.51
Opus Collection	CIB+	22.49
Ori: The Collection	New	28.97
Othercide	New	32.45
Outlast: Bundle of Terror / Outlast 2	CIB+	250.00
Overlord: Escape from Nazarick	New	35.97
Owlboy	CIB+	16.48
Oxenfree	New	99.53
Panzer Dragoon	New	40.5
Panzer Paladin	New	48.13
Pathway	New	27.6
Phoenotopia: Awakening [Premium Edition]	New	114.25
Pikmin 3 Deluxe	CIB+	35.00
Pikmin 4	New	42.79
Piofiore: Fated Memories	New	27.95
PixelJunk Eden 2	New	25.49
Pocky & Rocky Reshrined	New	25.49
Pokemon Legends: Arceus	New	41.19
Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Rescue Team DX	CIB+	40.5
Pokemon Sword	CIB+	30.26
Pokemon Violet	New	44.5
Postal Redux	New	25.5
PowerSlave: Exhumed	New	55.00
Prinny Presents NIS Classics Volume 2 [Deluxe Edition]	New	43.99
Prodeus	New	40.67
Project Warlock	New	67.14
Puyo Puyo Tetris	New	17.5
Q.U.B.E. 2	New	51.32
Quake	New	38.49
RED STRINGS CLUB [SWITCH RESERVE]	New	38.5
RUINER [SWITCH RESERVE]	New	45.00
Radiant Silvergun	New	58.09
Rainbow Billy: The Curse of the Leviathan	New	23.82
Razion EX	New	90.00
Red Lantern	New	58.5
Republique: Anniversary Edition	New	35.49
Return of the Obra Dinn	New	58.18
Return to Monkey Island	CIB+	43.09
Return to Shironagasu Island	CIB+	28.5
Risk of Rain 2	New	14.7
River City Girls 2	New	50.5
River City Girls Zero	New	44.49
River City Girls [PAX Variant]	New	142.6
River City Girls	CIB+	80.23
River City: Rival Showdown	New	30.49
Rogue Heroes: Ruins of Tasos	CIB+	30.00
Roki	CIB+	30.00
Rolling Sky Collection	CIB+	20.00
Root Film	New	34.09
Rune Factory 3 Special	New	23.41
Rune Factory 3 Special	New	23.41
Rune Factory 4 Special [Archival Edition]	New	90.00
SENSEs: Midnight [Limited Edition]	New	47.43
SNK Heroines Tag Team Frenzy	New	29.15
Sakuna: Of Rice and Ruin	New	27.5
Sally Face [Deluxe Edition]	New	224.81
Sam & Max Save the World	New	43.5
Sam & Max: Beyond Time and Space Remastered	New	44
Samurai Jack: Battle Through Time	New	70.48
Save me Mr Tako: Definitive Edition	New	33.5
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: The Game - Complete Edition	New	32.49
Sea Horizon [Limited Edition]	New	42.49
Sea of Solitude: The Director's Cut	New	20.00
SeaBed [Limited Edition]	New	135.38
Seabed	New	40.42
Senran Kagura Reflexions	New	129.74
Senren * Banka	New	70.00
Serious Sam Collection [Switch Reserve]	New	50.00
Seven Pirates H	New	30.00
Seven Pirates H	New	30.00
Seven Pirates H	New	30.00
Shadow Man Remastered	New	48.39
Shadowgate	New	62.5
Shadowrun Trilogy	New	45.00
Shadows of Adam	New	34.49
Shadowverse: Champion's Battle	New	21.95
Shantae and the Pirate's Curse	Box	49.62
Shantae and the Pirate's Curse	New	381.21 SOLD
Shantae and the Seven Sirens	New	50.2 SOLD
Shantae: Half-Genie Hero [Ultimate Edition]	New	38.2 SOLD
Shantae: Risky's Revenge	New	38.51 SOLD
Shantae	New	39.34 SOLD
Shaq Fu: A Legend Reborn	New	19.57
Shikhondo: Soul Eater	New	34.44
Shin Megami Tensei III: Nocturne HD Remaster	New	25.5
Shin Megami Tensei V	New	22.38
Shin Megami Tensei V	New	22.38
Shining Resonance Refrain [Draconic Launch Edition]	New	48.6
Silver Case 2425 Deluxe Edition	CIB	25.00
Sine Mora EX	New	23.02
Skelattack	New	45.00
Slime-san	New	43.74
Smile For Me	New	30.00
Sol Cresta: Dramatic Edition	New	45.48
Sonic Colors Ultimate	CIB+	15.48
Sonic Frontiers	CIB+	21.62
Sonic Mania	New	16.51
Spiritfarer	New	28.95
Splatoon 2	CIB+	19.67
Splatoon 3	New	43.99
Star Wars Pinball	New	19.72
Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II - The Sith Lords	New	59.79
Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II - The Sith Lords	New	59.79
Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic	New	60.49
Star Wars: Republic Commando	New	26.45
Steel Assault	New	48
Streets of Rage 4	New	33.45
Strife: Veteran Edition	New	30.00
Subnautica + Subnautica: Below Zero	New	32.49
Super Blood Hockey	New	60.96
Super Bomberman R	New	20.42
Super Mario Maker 2	CIB+	30.48
Super Meat Boy Forever	New	25.98
Super Meat Boy	New	38.5
Super Monkey Ball Banana Mania	New	13.48
Supraland	New	33.75
Sushi Striker: The Way of Sushido	New	12.17
Taiko no Tatsujin Rhythm Festival	New	15.5
Tails of Iron [Crimson Knight Edition]	New	42.89
TakeOver	New	47.41
Tales of Vesperia: Definitive Edition	New	30.41
Talos Principle	New	40.00
Tandem: A Tale of Shadows	New	20.48
Terraria	New	24.66
The Messenger [Special Reserve Games Edition]	New	280.00
There Is No Game: Wrong Dimension	New	53.51
Thumper	New	45.45
Time on Frog Island	CIB+	17.43
Timespinner [Limited Run]	CIB+	77.28
Tiny Barbarian DX	New	33.97
To The Moon	New	67.98
ToeJam & Earl: Back in the Groove!	CIB+	49.86
Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE Encore	New	66.72
Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE Encore	New	66.72
Touryst	New	60.00 SOLD
TowerFall	New	45.5
Travis Strikes Again: No More Heroes	CIB+	24.99 SOLD
Treasures Of The Aegean	New	17.98
Trigger Witch - Limited Edition	New	57.66
Trigger Witch	New	34.59
Trover Saves the Universe	New	37.76 SOLD
Turok / Turok 2: Seeds of Evil Double Pack	New	180.00
Twin Blades of the Three Kingdoms	New	30.00
Two Point Hospital	New	26.5
UnderMine	New	51.08 SOLD
Unravel Two	CIB+	18.35
Unreal Life	New	39.15
Unsighted	New	47.2
Untitled Goose Game	New	22.45
Valfaris	New	39.64
Valis: The Fantasm Soldier Collection II	New	50.5
Valis: The Fantasm Soldier Collection	New	70.61
Valkyria Chronicles 4	New	66.81
Very Very Valet	New	17.77
Wandersong	CIB+	33.99
Warborn	New	16.6
Warhammer 40,000: Mechanicus	CIB+	21
WarioWare: Get it Together!	CIB+	24.55
West of Dead	New	39.1
Wizard of Legend	New	55.00
Wonder Boy: The Dragon's Trap	New	39.14
Wonderful 101: Remastered	New	23.5
World Ends with You: Final Remix	New	53.95 SOLD
World Of Simulators	New	45
Wreckfest	New	25.5
Wulverblade	New	68.83
Xenoblade Chronicles 2: Torna the Golden Country	Loose	30
Xenoblade Chronicles 2	Loose	30
Xtreme Sports	New	50.5
Yoku's Island Express	CIB+	35.5
Yooka-Laylee and the Impossible Lair	New	35.5
Young Souls	New	34.49
Yu-Gi-Oh! Legacy of the Duelist: Link Evolution	CIB+	17.69
Yuppie Psycho: Executive Edition (Elite Edition)	New	45.49
Yurukill: The Calumniation Games (Deluxe Edition)	New	20.73
Zombies Ate My Neighbors and Ghoul Patrol	New	40.09
realMyst: Masterpiece Edition	New	78.08

PS2
Armored Core Nexus	CIB	105.33

PS4
88 Antarctica	New	45.00
Antartica 88 [Variant Cover]	New	185.5
Deadpool	CIB+	76.33
Death Park	New	45
Death Park	New	45
Death Park	New	45
Death Park	New	45
Digimon Survive	New	16.55
Divinity: Original Sin II - Definitive Edition	New	71
Doki Doki Literature Club Plus!	New	21.17
Helldivers [Super-Earth Ultimate Edition]	CIB+	45.00
Minecraft: Story Mode - A Telltale Games Series - The Complete Adventure	CIB+	58.41
Outriders: Worldslayer	New	18.48
Revenge of The Bird King	New	31.99
Saints Row: The Third Remastered	New	15.1
Senran Kagura Burst Re:Newal [At the Seams Edition]	New	60.49
Senran Kagura Burst Re:Newal [Tailor Made Edition]	New	47.99
Senran Kagura: Peach Beach Splash (No Shirt, No Shoes, All Service Edition)	New	71.5
Shadow Warrior 2 [Special Reserve Edition]	New	235.52
Super Perils of Baking Special Edition [SEGA Outerbox]	New	120.00
Swords of Ditto: Mormo's Curse [Special Reserve Edition]	New	40.00
Tamashii	New	450.00
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutants in Manhattan	CIB+	40.00
Valkyria Chronicles Remastered Steelbook Edition	New	30.45

VITA
2064: Read Only Memories	New	67.97
88 Heroes	New	40.6
99Vidas	New	125.97
Aegis of Earth: Protonovus Assault	New	26.49
Akiba's Beat	New	30.25
Akiba's Trip: Undead & Undressed	CIB+	25.49
Alone With You	New	38.5
Amazing Spider-Man	CIB+	64.75
Amazing Spider-Man	CIB+	64.75
Angry Birds Star Wars	New	20.48
Another World: 20th Anniversary Edition	New	40.49
Antiquia Lost	New	34.75
Aqua Kitty: Milk Mine Defender DX	New	51.5
Army Corps of Hell	New	23.99
Asdivine Hearts	New	35.46
Astro Aqua Kitty [Limited Edition]	New	64.7
Atari Flashback Classics	New	60.61
Atelier Escha & Logy Plus: Alchemists of the Dusk Sky (Limited Edition)	New	168.49
Awesome Pea Collection [Limited Edition]	CIB+	40.1
Axiom Verge Multiverse Edition	New	56.56
Back in 1995 [Limited Edition]	New	191.4
Bard's Gold	New	33
Bard's Tale: Remastered and Resnarkled	New	50.49
Bastion	New	64.16
Batman: Arkham Origins Blackgate	CIB+	23.67
Bit.Trip Limited Edition	New	33.5
Bit.Trip Presents...Runner2: Future Legend of Rhythm Alien	New	33.49
Bloodstained: Curse of the Moon	New	118.23
Borderlands 2	CIB+	23.49
Breach & Clear	New	308.01
Broken Age	New	33.77
Bunny Must Die: Chelsea and the 7 Devils	New	95
Call of Duty: Black Ops Declassified	CIB+	22.29
Call of Duty: Black Ops Declassified	Loose	18.98
Chaos;Child	New	45.61
Chasm	CIB+	60.49
Child of Light	CIB+	24.56
Claire: Extended Cut	CIB+	35.17
Code:Realize - Future Blessings	Loose	14.9
Code:Realize - Guardian of Rebirth	New	25.5
Code:Realize - Guardian of Rebirth		14.2
Conga Master Go! [Limited Edition]	New	51.83
Corpse Party: Blood Drive	New	58.77
Cosmic Star Heroine	CIB+	43.25
Count Lucanor [Signature Edition]	New	144.47
Criminal Girls 2: Party Favors	CIB+	74.09
Criminal Girls: Invite Only	CIB+	54.49
Croixleur Sigma	New	40.49
Cursed Castilla EX [Limited Edition]	New	60.5
Curses 'N Chaos	New	38.72
Damascus Gear: Operation Osaka	New	40.51
Damascus Gear: Operation Tokyo	New	41
Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair	CIB	19.41
Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair	Loose	19.41
Danganronpa Another Episode: Ultra Despair Girls	New	31.5
Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony	CIB+	58.89
Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc	CIB+	25.97
Dariusburst: Chronicle Saviours	New	47.38
Deadbolt	New	42.44
Death Mark	CIB+	23.22
Death Tales [Limited Edition]	New	40.4
Deemo: The Last Recital	New	34.22
Defender's Quest: Valley of the Forgotten	New	37.86
Demon Gaze II	New	74.66
Demon Gaze	CIB+	25.81
Demon Gaze	Loose	22.22
Demon's Tier+ [Limited Edition]	CIB+	55.49
Dengeki Bunko: Fighting Climax	CIB+	25.5
Devious Dungeon - Limited Edition	CIB+	67.38
Devious Dungeon 2 [Limited Edition]	New	84.5
Digimon Story: Cyber Sleuth	CIB+	65.9
Disgaea 4: A Promise Revisited	CIB+	25.49
Dokuro	New	52.94
Dragon Fantasy: The Black Tome of Ice	New	34.5
Dragon Fantasy: The Volumes of Westeria	New	40.49
Dragon Sinker: Descendants of Legend	New	35.5
Dungeon Travelers 2: The Royal Library & The Monster Seal	CIB+	53
Dynasty Warriors: Next		16.66
EMMA: Lost in Memories [Limited Edition]	New	52.49
Earth Defense Force 2: Invaders from Planet Space	New	28.19
Exile's End	New	39.65
Exist Archive: The Other Side of The Sky	Loose	18.48
Fate/Extella: The Umbral Star Noble Phantasm Edition	New	46.26
Fernz Gate	New	30.69
Final Fantasy X / X-2 HD Remaster	Loose	25.49
Final Fantasy X-2 HD Remaster	New	61.19
Forma.8	New	32.5
Freedom Wars	CIB+	13.48
Furwind [Limited Edition]	CIB+	40.5
Futuridium EP Deluxe	New	45.97
Gal*Gun: Double Peace	CIB+	32.34
Ghoulboy [Limited Edition]	New	160.5
God of War Collection	New	74.75
Grand Kingdom	New	47.6
Gravity Rush	CIB+	44.5
Guard Duty [Limited Edition]	CIB+	47.38
Gundemoniums	New	84.18
Gunhouse	New	30.38
Habroxia 2 [Limited Edition]	New	65.5
Habroxia	New	129.94
Halloween Forever [Limited Edition]	New	74.5
Hole	New	World
Home: A Unique Horror Adventure	New	35.92
Horizon Chase Turbo [Limited Edition]	New	76.81
Hot Shots Golf: World Invitational	New	26.19
Hotaru no Nikki - The Firefly Diary: Limited Edition	New	59.25
House in Fata Morgana: Dreams of the Revenants Edition	CIB+	99.5
House in Fata Morgana: Dreams of the Revenants Edition	M+B	40.1
Hue	New	40.5
Hyperdevotion Noire: Goddess Black Heart	CIB+	35.5
Hyperdimension Neptunia PP: Producing Perfection	CIB+	35.97
Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth1	CIB+	47.01
Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth1	CIB+	47.01
Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth2: Sisters Generation	CIB+	60.49
Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth2: Sisters Generation	CIB+	60.49
Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth3: V Generation	CIB+	55.95
Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth3: V Generation	CIB+	55.95
Hyperdimension Neptunia U: Action Unleashed	CIB+	43.81
Iconoclasts	New	96.5
Indigo 7 : Quest for Love	New	?
Jak and Daxter Collection	CIB+	50.49
Jet Set Knights [Limited Edition]	New	100.5
Jet Set Knights [Limited Edition]	New	100.5
Just Ignore them + My Big Sister Collection	New	60.49
Kawaii Deathu Desu	New	45.5
Killzone: Mercenary	CIB+	32.68
Killzone: Mercenary	Loose	24.49
King of Fighters '97: Global Match	New	64.81
Knightin' + [Limited Edition]	New	60.45
Knytt Underground	New	128.14
LEGO Batman 2: DC Super Heroes	Losse	11.33
LEGO Jurassic World	CIB+	13.44
LEGO Ninjago: Shadow of Ronin	Loose	17.12
LEGO Star Wars: The Force Awakens	New	28.75
LEGO Star Wars: The Force Awakens	Loose	12.21
LEGO The Lord of the Rings	Loose	10.49
La-Mulana Ex	New	38.03
Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel (Lionheart Limited Edition)	New	72.39
Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel II	CIB+	57.82
Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel	CIB+	36.49
Lone Survivor: The Director's Cut	New	42.49
Longest Five Minutes	New	32.5
Lost Child	New	56.03
Lost Cube [Limited Edition]	New	50.49
Luckslinger [Limited Edition]	New	60.41
Lumines: Electronic Symphony	New	18.61
MUSYNX	New	50.49
Mary Skelter: Nightmares	CIB+	92.87
MegaTagmension Blanc + Neptune VS Zombies	New	37.58
MeiQ: Labyrinth of Death	CIB+	25.39
Mercenary Kings: Reloaded Edition [Limited Edition]	New	106.71
Metagal [Limited Edition]	CIB+	100.35
Metal Gear Solid HD Collection	CIB+	46.49
Metal Slug 3	New	115.48
Mind Zero	CIB+	20.48
Mooseman [Limited Edition]	New	119.05
Mortal Kombat	CIB+	26.99
MotoGP 13	CIB+	23.83
Muv-Luv Alternative	New	66.95
Muv-Luv Complete Set	New	90.5
Muv-Luv	New	53.36
My Aunt is a Witch [Limited Edition]	New	55.5
Mystery Chronicle: One Way Heroics	New	27.94
Need for Speed: Most Wanted - A Criterion Game	CIB+	20.32
Neurovoider	New	35.5
Nicole [Limited Edition]	New	48.22
Night Trap: 25th Anniversary Edition	New	58.99
Nova-111	New	28.67
Nurse Love Addiction	New	59.18
Nurse Love Syndrome	New	50.49
Nurse Love Syndrome	Loose	15.49
Oceanhorn: Monster of Uncharted Seas	New	52
Octodad: Dadliest Catch	New	46.36
Oddworld: Abe's Oddysee -	New	'n' Tasty
Oddworld: Munch's Oddysee HD	New	52.5
Oddworld: Stranger's Wrath HD	New	69.73
Odin Sphere Leifthrasir	CIB+	72.45
Odin Sphere Leifthrasir	Loose	70.5
One More Dungeon	CIB+	60
Operation Abyss:	New	Tokyo Legacy
Oreshika: Tainted Bloodlines	New	93
Papers, Please	New	115.47
Pato Box [Limited Edition]	New	73.23
Penny-Punching Princess	New	45.41
Period: Cube - Shackles of Amadeus	New	54.65
Persona 4 Golden	New	61.12
Persona 4 Golden	Loose	25.37
Persona 4: Dancing All Night - Disco Fever Edition	New	145.5
Phantom Breaker: Battle Grounds	New	53.5
Pix the Cat	New	28.84
Plague Road	New	43.4
PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale	New	31.74
Proteus	New	36.49
Psychedelica of the Ashen Hawk	New	51.5
Psychedelica of the Ashen Hawk	New	51.5
Psychedelica of the Black Butterfly	CIB+	33.57
Pushy and Pully in Block Land	New	70.45
Rabi-Ribi	New	93.59
Rainbow Moon	New	44.89
Ratchet and Clank Trilogy	CIB+	72.77
Ray Gigant	New	102.84
Rayman Legends	CIB	17.37
Rayman Origins	CIB+	16.71
Retro City Rampage DX [Re-Release]	New	35.00
Revenant Dogma	New	35.36
Revenant Saga	New	29.44
Reverie [Limited Edition]	CIB+	43.49
Riddled Corpses EX	New	40.49
Risk of Rain	New	38
Rock Boshers DX	New	29.34
Rocketbirds 2: Evolution	New	55.5
Rocketbirds: Hardboiled Chicken	New	43.2
Root Double [Xtend Edition]	New	53.5
Root Letter	New	46.11
Rose in the Twilight	New	192
SUPERBEAT: XONiC	New	28.49
Salt and Sanctuary	New	100.49
Salt and Sanctuary	New	100.49
Saturday Morning RPG	New	50.49
Sayonara Umihara Kawase++	New	67.33
ScourgeBringer [Limited Edition]	New	59.97
ScourgeBringer [Limited Edition]	New	59.97
Senran Kagura Shinovi Versus: Let's Get Physical Edition	New	115.5
Senran Kagura: Bon Appetit! Full Course - Collector's Edition	New	185.13
Senran Kagura: Bon Appetit!	New	150.44
Senran Kagura: Estival Versus Endless Summer Edition	New	115.48
Sense: A Cyberpunk Ghost Story	New	155.5
Severed [Limited Edition]	New	100.81
Shakedown: Hawaii	CIB+	36.85
Shantae: Half-Genie Hero	CIB+	37.5
Shinobido 2: Revenge of Zen	CIB+	38.67
Shovel Knight	New	96.49
Sid Meier's Civilization Revolution 2+	CIB+	76.26
Silent Hill: Book of Memories	CIB+	76.38
Sir Eatsalot [Limited Edition]	CIB+	53.08
Siralim 2	New	30.49
Siralim	New	50.5
Skullgirls: 2nd Encore	New	52.81
Sky Force Anniversary	New	75.48
Slain: Back From Hell [Signature Edition]	New	150.65
Sly Cooper Collection	CIB+	52.27
Smart as...	CIB+	9.67
Soldner-X 2: Final Prototype	New	44.12
Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed	CIB+	23.56
Sorcery Saga: Curse of the Great Curry God [Limited edition]	New	80.5
Soul Sacrifice Delta	New	105.5
Soul Sacrifice	CIB+	17.36
Spelunky	New	70.5
Spy Hunter	CIB+	24.31
Stay [Limited Edition]	New	130.5
Stealth Inc: A Clone in the Dark (Ultimate Edition)	New	29.13
SteamWorld Dig	New	55.72
SteamWorld Heist	New	52.97
Steins;Gate 0	CIB+	29.49
Steins;Gate	CIB+	30.58
Stranger of sword city limited edition	New	63.57
Super Hydorah	New	47.9
Super Meat Boy	New	60.5
Super Mutant Alien Assault	New	34.9
Super Skull Smash GO! 2 Turbo	New	42.35
Superdimension Neptune VS Sega Hard Girls	New	58.5
Swapper	New	51.48
Swindle	New	27.51
Sword Art Online: Hollow Fragment	New	65.48
Synergia [Limited Edition]	New	110.49
Tachyon Project Limited Edition	New	55.35
Takotan [Limited Edition]	New	51.59
Tales from Space: Mutant Blobs Attack	New	50.24
Tales of Hearts R	CIB+	69.48
Tales of Hearts R		50.5
Task Force Kampas	New	36.5
Tetris Ultimate	New	70.47
Tetris Ultimate	New	70.47
Thomas Was Alone	New	33.5
Tokyo Xanadu	New	49.32
Touch My Katamari	CIB+	33.72
Twin Breaker: A Sacred Symbols Adventure [Limited Edition]	CIB+	47.09
Ultimate Marvel Vs. Capcom 3	CIB+	31.21
UnMetal	New	163.32
Uncharted: Golden Abyss	CIB+	27.23
Uncharted: Golden Abyss	CIB+	27.23
Undertale	New	66.38
Unepic [Limited Edition]	New	274.98
Utawarerumono: Mask of Deception	New	72.27
Utawarerumono: Mask of Truth - Launch Edition	New	36.5
Utawarerumono: Mask of Truth - Launch Edition	New	36.5
VA-11 Hall-A	New	79.91
Valkyrie Drive: Bhikkhuni	CIB+	66.81
Vasara Collection	New	98.5
Velocity 2X: Critical Mass Edition	New	63.05
Volume	New	32.25
Walking Dead: Season Two - A Telltale Games Series	New	22.61
Windjammers	New	35.83
Winter's Daydream [Limited Edition]	New	64.1
Wipeout 2048	New	31.24
World of Final Fantasy	New	33.99
Xeno Crisis [Limited Edition]	New	100.5
Xeno Crisis [Limited Edition]	New	100.5
Xeno Crisis [Limited Edition]	New	100.5
Xenon Valkyrie+	New	68.11
Xeodrifter	New	44.2
Yomawari: Midnight Shadows	CIB+	33.71
Yomawari: Night Alone / htol#NiQ: The Firefly Diary	CIB+	40.5
Ys Origin	New	56.4
Ys VIII: Lacrimosa of DANA	New	72.34
Ys: Memories of Celceta	CIB+	25.99
Yumeutsutsu Re:After [Limited Edition]	New	82.97
Yumeutsutsu Re:Master [Limited Edition]	New	75.48
Zero Escape: Virtue's Last Reward	CIB+	15.5
Zero Escape: Zero Time Dilemma	New	33.17
Zero Escape: Zero Time Dilemma	Loose	24.51

3DS
Aliens: Infestation	Loose	45.00
Minecraft: New Nintendo 3DS Edition	New	34.72
Senran Kagura 2: Deep Crimson (Double D Edition)	New	70.5
Senran Kagura 2: Deep Crimson (Double D Edition)	New	70.5
Shantae and the Pirate's Curse [Collector's Edition]	New	89.39
Shantae and the Pirate's Curse [Collector's Edition]	New	89.39

Xbox -Dead by daylight Nightmare edition CIB $25 -Fortnite Last Laugh NEW $50 

Grandma lived with her Birman cat, Pedro, as her only source of social interaction. Granddad had went to fight in World War Two and never returned. Grandma never spoke about him. We didn't even know if she remembered he ever existed and that she was ever married to him. She had no photos of him, she slept in a single bed and if you spoke with her you would assume she had been single her entire life.
I opened the front door of Grandma's house and placed my suitcase at the foot of the stairs. I was welcomed by the meows of Pedro. I had brought a small gift bag with me which held a cat toy. I knew how much Grandma loved Pedro so the toy served as an indirect present to her as well as the cat. I took the toy out of the bag and Pedro immediately began rubbing his head against my legs as a sign of gratitude. I bent over to give him the toy and gently pushed him away. He scampered straight back to me continuing his thank you ritual which was more annoying than it was gracious.
I heard Grandma's voice from the kitchen.
"OP is that you? You are just in time. I'm just in the kitchen making dinner. You wouldn't be a dear and help me set the table, would you?"
I walked into the dimly lit kitchen and saw Grandma bending down by the oven wearing an apron. She didn't turn to face me although I could see a faint reflection in the oven glass as I approached her. The lighting wasn't enough to paint a clear picture but she seemed to have an angry expression on her face. As if whatever she was cooking wasn't abiding to the laws of the recipe book on the countertop.
She lifted herself from the squatting positing and turned to face me. She had grown a lot since I'd last seen her. That isn't necessarily something I thought I would ever really about my grandmother but she was towering four inches over me at least. I looked towards her face and saw her grinning down at me.
"Oh, I'm so glad you came! How was the journey? Did Pedro give you a warm welcome? Come here and give your grandmother a hug."
She wrapped her arms around me and leant in to give me a kiss on the cheek. Her lips had always felt soft and had always left a wet mark that required a wipe but this time they felt like harsh sandpaper grinding into my face
She handed me some cutlery and asked if I would help her set the table as dinner was ready to be served. I grabbed two plates from the cabinet and walked into the lounge. Grandma was a simple lady. Her lounge hosted a wooden bookshelf, small table with two chairs tucked beneath it, a cat house for Pedro and a small TV which faced a yellow rocking chair. I could tell by the wear of the yellow paint that this is where Grandma spent most of her time presumably watching TV or reading.
I lowered the plates onto the the mats which were neatly placed on the table. I placed a fork, a knife and a spoon down in a pile on the right hand side of each plate and returned to the kitchen to help Grandma with the rest of the preparation.
As I walked back to the kitchen, I heard a clatter coming from the lounge. I rushed back to find Pedro meowing proudly. He had knocked most of the contents of the table onto the floor and was nonchalantly parading around the lounge. I collected the fallen cutlery into my hands and took them back to the kitchen to rinse off.
I walked into the kitchen but Grandma was nowhere to be seen. The oven light was off and the oven mitts had been removed from the handle so I assumed she had started loading the food onto the table. I must have missed her on the way back to the kitchen. I washed and dried the cutlery and walked back to the lounge.
Grandma was sitting on her rocking chair and the glow of the TV rested on her face. The table was set and Grandma had already fixed herself a plate and was eating it, whilst she was consumed by whatever she was watching.
"I apologise OP. I completely lost track of time and didn't realise that my favourite show was starting. I hope you don't mind if I eat over here. I don't mean to be rude." As she spoke, the food in her mouth decided to take flight and land at her feet.
The TV faced away from the rest of the room which made it impossible for me to see what she watching but it was clearly more interesting than me. I sat down at the table and served myself a small portion of food. I didn't know exactly what it was and at this point I didn't care to ask but it smelled pretty good. I guess it was some sort of meat and vegetable casserole.
I looked over to Grandma as she was fixed to the TV, shovelling the casserole into her mouth. Once the plate was empty, she lifted it up to her face and began to lick it clean. The whole experience was bewildering. Grandma was always extremely polite and respectful, especially in the presence of me and I was now watching her attacking her plate like a ravenous dog. As the plate covered her face, I noticed that the base of it was slightly reflective. I squinted my eyes and noticed what was being displayed on the TV. It was static.
My heart dropped. Was this her favourite show? I looked down at my plate which still held untouched casserole and suddenly no longer had an appetite. I had also noticed that my fork was missing so I used that as enough of a reason to not eat. I must have forgotten to bring it back from the kitchen after it had dropped.
Pedro was pawing at the cat toy I had brought for him and I noticed that it was all chewed up and resembled a bundle of frayed rope more than it did a toy. Grandma was still watching TV. She hadn't made a sound in a while and I didn't want to disturb her so I pulled my phone from my trouser pocket and began scrolling mindlessly through my home screen in search for some mental stimulation.
I peered over to Grandma, who was still invested in her show, eyes ablaze with fascination. I looked back down at my phone and opened up the settings app and began exploring the plethora of adjustments I could make to my screen. Then, I felt a tap on my shoulder.
My head shot up and Grandmas' rocking chair was vacant.
I turned slowly and Grandma was perched just above my right shoulder looking at my phone screen.
"You children nowadays don't know anything about social interaction. I haven't seen you for so long, my dear. How about we play a game? Do you know any good games we can play?"
She pulled out the chair opposite me and began tapping her fingers on the table awaiting a response.
"There is a game I play with my friends called 'Would you Rather?" I awaited acknowledgement.
She gave me a welcoming nod.
I went on to thoroughly explain the rules of the game to her.
As the look of confusion on her face turned to eagerness, she asked if she could start first.
"Would you rather eat an apple or a banana?"
I looked at her blankly. I had just spent the better part of ten minutes explaining the game and this is the best she could come up with.
I replied back discontented, "An apple."
"Correct! Ding, Ding, Ding. That is one point for you." Her eyes gleamed.
"No Grandma, there are no correct answers. We have to discuss which of the options we would each choose and the reason why. Also, the questions need to be a little more thought provoking. Let me give you one."
She looked down coyly at the table.
"Would you rather get ten thousand dollars right now or get twenty dollars every time you use the toilet for the rest of your life?" That was the best question I could come up with at the time.
"Money has no value to me so I would choose neither."
I looked at her blankly.
This verbal tug of war continued until she was finally starting to get the hang of the game. We had now asked each other a handful of questions but things started to get very strange when we moved onto negative scenarios.
It was my turn to ask the next question but she jumped in during my thought process.
"Actually, I have a great one. Would you rather die by being suffocated by a pillow in your sleep or would you rather die from multiple fork stab wounds in your neck?"
I looked at her waiting for a laugh to confirm that this was a joke but she stared at me solemnly.
"Remember the rules. You must answer every question."
I let out a fake yawn and squinted my eyes slightly before looking up at the clock.
"I'm starting to feel a little tired. Perhaps I should go to sleep."
She reluctantly lifted herself from her chair and guided me up to the guest bedroom where I would be spending the night.
It is hard to describe the overwhelming dread I was feeling. The atmosphere in the house felt very unsafe and I was feeling uneasy at the thought of spending the night here. I don't know what happened to Grandma. I don't know if this even is Grandma but I want to leave.
Eventually, tiredness crept up on me as my fear slowly dissipated and I fell asleep.
I was awoken by the sound of scratching at the door and exasperating meows. Pedro had been getting on my nerves the entire day and now he was doing the same at nightfall.
I lay still in bed hoping that he would eventually get bored but the meows grew louder and the scratching became more desperate.
Maybe he was hurt. I rubbed my eyes, flicked the bedside lamp on, placed my feet on the wooden floor and began walking towards the door.
As I reached for the door handle, I heard a gasp. I was no expert in the feline species but I knew for sure that cats didn't gasp and if they did, their gasps didn't sound identical to that of a human's gasp.
I opened up the door looking down to where Pedro would be. It was pitch black out there but my eyes could just barely pull together an image of fluffy pink slippers. It was Grandma.
I took a step backwards to create a gap between us. She took a step forward to close the gap and she was now standing in the bedroom. The lighting from the lamp illuminated her silhouette and I could make out that she was clutching a pillow in both hands.
"Oh darling, I just wanted to check that you didn't want an extra pillow. Granddad would always complain that our pillows were too thin to get a good rest. I didn't wake you did I?"
Her beady eyes stared at me awaiting a response.
"Thank you Grandma."
I reached out and disarmed her of the pillow.
"No, you didn't wake me. I just heard distressed meows and thought Pedro was hurt." I replied back.
Her wrinkled hands covered her pencil-thin lips and she let out a childish giggle.
"Your mind can play all sorts of tricks on you when you are tired. Get some rest and I will see you in the morning for breakfast."
She left and closed the door behind her.
Now I am here, typing this up on my phone. I can't stay here any longer and I am afraid that if I fall asleep again, I may not wake up. I can't call the police because no crime has been committed and I wouldn't want to cause Grandma any stress as she is elderly after all.
What should I do?

TW: child loss
Back when I was only 4 weeks pregnant (and not telling anyone yet), I was at a girls night with a friend group. We’re busy gals, so we really only see each other once a month. One of the girls, Ashley, couldn’t make it that night. We knew she had recently suffered a pregnancy loss (and put together a meal train for her family several weeks prior) but I didn’t know the whole story until that night. Apparently it happened when she was pretty ca and was very awful and traumatic. My heart breaks for her.
I was already going to wait to tell anyone I was pregnant, but after hearing the story, it really didn’t feel right to share the news with this particular friend group for a while. And just as well, I was so sick during my first trimester, I didn’t come out much. I felt bad for being so flaky and turning down several girls nights because I was puking… but after I cleared 16 weeks I felt finally better and ready to share the news.
The day I was going to share, one of the girls sent out a group text saying that Ashley has been (understandably) down lately, and since June was going to be her delivery month, and it would be nice to take her out to brunch. So I decided to wait. I even contemplated waiting until July to say anything, just to make sure I wasn’t being insensitive to Ashley since I’m sure this whole month is going to be so rough for her.
So I told a close friend about this, and she said she respected my decision but implied I might be overthinking this. Ashley doesn’t come out often, so she’s not as close as the rest of us. But I still would never want to do anything that would make her feel sad.
Well I was at a party with this group last weekend and wore baggy clothes because I am just barely showing at 20 weeks. My husband encouraged me to just tell everyone. It was kind of awkward when people asked where I’ve been and my lame answer was work being really busy. Ashley wasn’t there, so I decided to just go for it. And the girls were of course so sweet and excited and kind. It felt good to tell them and explain why I’ve been such a phantom for all these months.
But now the brunch is soon. And I want to be there and be supportive for Ashley, but is it disrespectful for me to attend while she’s going through this? Should I stay home? Or is my friend right and I’m overthinking it? I would never dominate the conversation and make it all about my pregnancy, but maybe if someone else brings it up, I just don’t linger on the topic too long.
What would you do and what is the best way to handle this?

This is a follow up to my initial post. After researching for the past 10+ days and reading through 3-dozen or so studies, I'm going to explain why I think most people shouldn't follow blueprint's recommendation of 2 TBSP of Olive Oil.
As I said in the prior post, I mostly trust Bryan and am on a modified Blueprint diet using many of his products. But as many people have pointed out, this diet was created FOR HIM and may not translate 1:1 for the average person.
I came to this conclusion because:

• Specific recommendations from Dr. Neal Barnard, Dr. Dean Ornish, Dr. Caldwell Esselstyn, Dr. Robert Vogel and Professor Roy Taylor.
• There are studies which shows the higher fat diets (excluding essential fatty acids) damages endothelial cells (blood vessels) and causes intramyocellular lypids (fat in the muscle), which cause your body problems when trying to use the energy from carbs/sugar. (see videos linked below).
• It is known that this is what causes diabetes.
• And don't think of fat, just as-in "fat people". 1 in 6 people with type 2 diabetes are not overweight, they just consume a diet high in fats. (see videos linked below)
• There are no studies showing olive oil does is exempt from doing this damage.
• There are plenty of studies which compare olive oils to other types of oils (it is superior).
• There are plenty of studies which compare mediterranean diet to other types of diets (it is superior).
• There are plenty of studies which prove the damage being caused by fat and it leading to diabetes and heart disease.
• There is a lack of studies comparing olive oil vs. no oil.
• There is a lack of studies comparing olive oil + mediterranean vs no oil + vegan.
• If your argument for doing this is for polyphenols, you should just eat olives: https://www.reddit.com/PlantBasedDiet/comments/ug5prz/polyphenols_in_olives_vs_olive_oil/
• If you are overweight and following this diet, this recommendation of 2 TSBP becomes magnitudes more dangerous (as explained in the videos below).

With all this in mind, every person's body is going to be different. This may have been perfectly acceptable and economical way for Bryan to add calories to HIS diet. Everyone's "personal fat threshold" is individual to them (see videos below).
If you wanted to know whether it was OK for you or not, I think the best measure for this would be to monitor your A1C before and after starting the diet.
As for me personally, why risk it? To me, the science AGAINST risking is more conclusive than the science for risking. But, I will admit, absent the studies above, it's not given. As for me, I plan to eat olives and replace the olive oil calories with more vegetables/fruit.
If you truly want to deep dive, watch these two videos.
Exhibit 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmT_EhGOdiE
Exhibit 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJWlecTn16g

I suck at typing and already accidentally deleted this whole thing once so keep that in mind in regards to my writing and possible annoyance with this XD and there is a second accidetnal full deletion but at least i copied this portion...
So im going to take this in order of the smallest and easiest to understand and accept theories to the ones that require knowledge of obsceure real world mythology i dont think hardly ANYONE would know even in a playerbase of currently 76,000.
I also want to make one note to keep in mind that i am operating under the color theory of elden ring theory from hawkshaw that states how all of elden ring is made up of differing colors and hues as the basis for all forms of life so if i state something like how i will mention the creation of life, this is what i am refering to.
OK.... lets go at this one more time..... The first theory is the thought that the erdtree we see is forcibly grown FAR FAR FAR beyond what it EVER should have grown the size of that could even be remotely considered health for the erdtrees with the MANY examples we have showing that they NEVER get anywhere near this large unless of course, one were to sacrifice an EXBORINENT amount of life to it with i think the trailers of the DLC show what that cost has to be. I say this because the small erdtrees we find golden seeds at not only despite being so small produce the seeds already but also are a VERY bright and brilliant gold implying to me at least that, that smaller size is what is considered 'healthy' and of age to be considered fully grown for erdtrees which also implies the gross and sad thought that marika basically did the same as force feeding someone exborinantes amounts of food so they would have more and more blood for you to take from them before also taking their ability to die so even as you drain every drop of blood they could give, they cant even die as you keep trying to drain more from them. I believe this theory to be true and also shows that erdtrees ARE NOT necessary in the lands between but like anything in it, are just another thing that lives in it and takes form in a way similar to the origin of life perhaps as maybe all life existed in one single golden tree that the greater will broke apart into all the colors and unique life in the world and so in a way, its almost like an echo of what once was hence why they grow through specifically the shedding of life and more specifically blood being the essence that contains all life as the life gets shed and recombined into the erdtrees very being. This i think is most interesting in regards to what it says about order in the lands between and what it means and what is required for it as well as playing into the next theory i have as well.
The second theory is a more intersting one as it implies several things including probably the biggest lie of marika, even greater than the importance of the erdtree to the world, that being that not only is marika not the only god but she IS NOT the god of the greater will but simply of an outer god and her entire order is based on the lie that she represents the will of the creator of all the diversity of life and what she says is the penultimate truth of everything. This theory is based on a few things starting with the fact that we KNOW of at least 3 gods and another 2 can be inferred to be gods as well and before you start asking questions or calling me crazy, we need to define the difference between an outer god, the great one, and the greater will...
To start with, the great one is a clear stand in for the monad of gnostisism while i believe the greater will to be the stand in for the demiurge. This brand of christianity states that all life was once containted within the great all also known as the monad. at this point in time, there was NO deliniation in life until the demiurge came into being and seperated the monad shattering it into all the diversity of life but do not think that the gnostics see the demiurge in a good light... They see this event as the most horrific event of all time and see the demiurge in the same vain as other versions of christianity see satan or the devil, pure evil.... They believe this because there was NO suffering before the monad was seperated in to the diversity of life and so as such, they believe this life to be a prison... A hell created by the demiurge to torture all life for its own sick enjoyment and would gladly see to the end of all life which is what the frenzied flame wants... now i dont believe the frenzied flame is the great one/monad and nor do i believe the elden beast to be the greater will/demiurge but rather both are the closest aspects that represent each with what i mean requiring a quick detour into what an outer god in elden ring is. Outer gods seem to be the manifestections of aspects of life and reality. They all seem to represent something that is merely a part of a personality as if each individual aspect of the great ones/monads personality was seperated into each deliniation allowing for the diversity of life and its because of this that i believe that the frenzied flame is truly just the manifestation of chaos while the elden beast is simply the manifestation of the concept of order and while the monad when it was whole embodied pure chaos with no deliniation between ANYTHING, likewise the elden beast represents the order that the greater will had introduced into the great one to allow it to seperate its aspects individually and keep them seperate thus allowing for life and diveristy of life as well.
With all of that said, back to the main second theory, we know marika is the god of the outer god of order while maleina is the god of the outer god of rot and ranni is the god of the outer god of the dark moon. This already calls A LOT into question about marikas claim to be the ONE TRUE god when 2 other equally god, GODS exist AT LEAST and with this in mind, i think we also can classify rennala as a god as well as she is the god of the full moon even if by the time we meet her, like marika, she has decayed in her own isolation and imprisonment to the point that calling her a god is hysterical. Last but not least is the god of the frenzied flame which our very own tarnished can become.... we do this by taking the freznied flame into our very being, becoming the embodiment of chaos and the frenzied flame. Now that is a leap i might imagine a lot of people saying but there is good evidence behind this being that in ALL endings barring the freznied flame ending and rannis ending, marika is restored and subsequently one could assume SHE remains the god as you become her lord consort while in ranni's end, she lets marika die for good and RANNI becomes the god as you become her lord consort but in the freznied flame end what happens? mariak fades and crumbles away but ultimately YOU remain and your body is altered by the power of your outer god to resemble it like malenia when she unleashes her rot or ranni when she takes on her doll form and sheds her body. This fact also calls into question something about godhood which i had previously assumed but could be not the case tho i will make a case against this very thought as well after being that i THOUGHT you had to be female to be a god and only a male could be lord but we know that a female can become elden lord and if the thought i had about the freznied flame end is true, a male can become a god which messes up a thought i had about miquella abandoning his fate by abaonding his chance at godhood by using the frenzied flame to seperate himself and st.trina from their body and subsequnetly, permanently seperating himself from st.trina who was the only path to godhood he had as she was the female while he was the male resigning himself to being an elden lord at best. Before i move onto the next theory, i will provide the thought at least against a male becoming a god as it is posisble marika becomes the god of frenzy but instantly is destroyed by the chaos along with the rest of the world though part of the thought of all elden lords being male and gods being female was a thought i had in regards to alchemy and the sun (male) and the moon (female) when combined represting a perfect union and what could be called a god. This meant that the eclipse would represent the perfect union and also could be called a god meaning a female being able to be elden lord throws a wrench in that idea as well.
OK SO THAT WAS A LOT BUT AT LEAST NO MORE DELETIONS SO FAR AND WHAT HAS BEEN TYPED HAS BEEN COPIED SO I CAN REPASTE IT IF I DELETE IT...... Anyways, the final theory is one im sure of but dont know the full implications of myself and also like the most cause the mythology it dips into is my peoples mythology which IS NOT talked about much AT ALL in much of popular media with that being the native american mythology (im over half alaskan native on my with my mother being a full native who was born on a res even tho she was adopted and i was born off a res never having been on one till i was 15 and still never having LIVED on one)
This final theory is in relation to the divine beast dancer, the pinnacle of the storm, and in relation to another possible outer god which is why i had to go into such length on the marika train of thought and the erdtree train of thought as well with i came up with this while watching vaatividyas 3 hour gameplay breakdown and even commented this idea there if you wanna read it there where you can find timestamps to the item descriptions vaati found that i was referencing and for a version directly referencing them rather than operating off of memory like i will do here. This theory starts by pointing out both the design and a lot of descriptions about the lion dancer as well as how its boss fight starts so if you wanna avoid spoilers, stop reading here. To start, the lion dancer is very human looking, not just possessing a beastial head but human arms and legs and even 2 rows of human teeth with an incomplete set of beastial teeth, only possessing a bottom row of beast teeth with a not only a crown of horns but horns all over the body which is all poinient because to mean, it almost seems to represent a regal embodiment of a divine beast taking the form of the hornsent being a race of people who seem to have horns as a symbol of divinity and having this divine beast even be sent from the heavens with literal descriptions stating this, never mind vaati having found a hornsent who did have horns all over his body and face. This first part is also important when we consider the ancestral followers who are seeking to grow budding horns and are only adopting a culture they found with i believe they are adopting the hornsents culture which at this point, given the hornsent npc vaati found also was using a metal sword, i would imagine like real world natives like myself as a great example, despite being majoritively native and more native than most who dont live on reservations, i dont actually practice anything of my peoples culture and hardly know much more than anyone else could learn online and so while many may practice my peoples culture far more than me either out of respect for it, a desire simply to live it, or a thought of keeping it alive, funnily enough, they likely know it better than me with hell, the amish are somewhat like this living the asetic lifestyle, seperated from modern society with plenty of other people going off to live in the wilderness off the grid like that one guy who went off and tried to make it in the alaskan wilderness only to not survive it sadly. All of this is important and not only supported by the ancestral followers desire to grow horns but also by a description that mentions the people of the land of shadows worshiping a dead beast who existed in the spirit world much akin to the ancestral spirit and regal ancestral spirit with this also is why i brought up the erd tree not being necessary to the order of the world and only being a creation of marikas golden order as it would seem the ancestral spirits were that faith center in the days gone past and this only further confirms the connection between the ancestral followers and the people the land of shadows.
Now we're nearing the end of this final theory by being able to move onto descriptions of the divine beast dancer as well as of the myth i think its base on with i will start by posting this that anyone who cares enough to have read this far should give a thorough read first before than reading this next part https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thunderbird_(mythology))
The description i remember being most poinient here was that the divine beast was a messenger sent from the heavens by the pinnacle of the storm whos rage mirrored the tumult of the sky and whose combat moves and what could be assumed to be dances before its power was turned to martial combat mimic the flight in the sky as well as the lightning of the storm and with a specific tornado move, the rage of the storm as well and when you consider again all its regal aspects as it takes human form which is a thing the thunderbird can do in many forms of the myth, i believe the lion dancer also says something interesting about what the two fingers are when you consider how the bossfight starts and what happens with a specific npc after you finish it as it would seem i would imagine, the outer god of the storm perhaps enters this effigy of it made to allow it a foothold in reality which also could be the case with the two fingers and based on the shaman woman vaati met who it sounds like resembled the finger reader crones both in design and purpose and who initally called upon the lion dancer to activate and felt incomprehensible grief at its destruction when you kill it. This also calls into question other things when the thunderbird lore is considered as there are versions where the thunderbirds were created to combat *WATER SPIRITS* kinda like the mariner spirits of godwyn and his deathblight which seeks to corrupt and destroy all it touches killing it before raising it in a unholy way that completely rejects the cycle of life and death and the natural order in an unhealthy and disgusting way when you consider the state of virtually all who live in death. Beyond this, they also are the messengers of the great sun in in other versions who were made to dull out moral judgement on humans who commited evil while also fighting the *GREAT HORNED SERPENTS* which sought to devour all humans which when you consider the horns being the divine part and swapped onto the hornsent and the humans being connected to the serpents which in this case would be messmer, it seems pretty clear that when we see the lion dancers fighting messmer, that was what they ended up being partially created to do when the need arose even if they failed to stop him from devouring the hornsents culture and people whole. And lastly, the most intersting thing i think, is a story about a boy who made friends with 4 thunder bird young and was asked by their mother to protect them only to also make friends with a *2 HEADED SERPENT* kinda like messemers serpent pair that seems to have a head on either end of it and subsequnetly is a 2 headed serpent only for the boy i think to turn on the thunderbirds and allow the serpent to devour them..... all in all, i think this is pretty interesting especially when we see what is called a 'gate of divinity' in the bellerat tower which needle knight leda i think mistakenly thinks miquella entered not understanding its nature with this gate of divinity resembling almost to a T, the entrey way into the erdtree i think being the biggest nail in the coffin that the erdtree itself its not whats important per se but rather something akin to it that can house the gate of divinity hence why the bellerat tower was the only thing to survive messmers burning of the town in the trailer as it is as powerful as the erdtree in a sense and would allow entry into the realm of the outer god of storm like the erdtrees gate of divinity allowed us entry to the elden beasts realm of order.
OK.... WE MADE IT..... THAT WAS A LOT...... To any still reading, thanks for reading till the end of these word walls and if ya wanna respond to any of the theories with your own, i would love to hear thoughts cause maybe someone else can take this understanding of the myths these were based on and important lore concepts and spin em into larger theories that could possibly tell us more but until than, thank you again for reading! :D

This story is not mine, it is based off what a friend told me and she needs advice, however, I will be writing in the 1st person perspective.
I, 16F, have an older sister named Lucinda, 25F. Lucinda has a BF, Harlton, 37M. Growing up, I had a pretty good childhood between the ages of 0 - 9, but then when I woke up to my dad screwing another woman in our living room, the area when you open the front door, (it's the first thing you see) I knew the rest of my life would be shambolic. My dad and mom never divorced, but they argued a lot, even after my mom found out. In turn, my mom started smoking dope and acquired a gambling addiction, whereby she got berated by my dad for gambling on their 9 Carat Engagement ring.
As I grew up, I noticed that this was not normal, and soon enough lost the parental relationship between my parents. In spite of this, Lucinda stepped in as mother to me, despite her not having any parental figures whatsoever. The age gap between her and I was considerably a lot, so it really took me nothing to call her my mom. I love my sister, and she works so hard to support me and herself. Not too long ago( I can't remember when) she got a scholarship to a college that she had been working her butt off to get into, and I was extremely happy for her. However, while this was happening, I began to struggle throughout the end of middle school, and soon enough, started smoking weed. Lucinda doesn't know of this yet, but she does know I have a spot that I go to late at night when our parents are screaming at each other. I called Lucinda 2 times a week when she had left the house at 16 to try and figure out who she was. When I entered HS, I called her everyday before and after school, even if was short calls or when she couldn't answer, voicemails of me rambling about whatever I could remember about my day. When Lucinda was 19, she met Harlton. Harlton had met her through the process of Lucinda looking for jobs. According to Lucinda, he was a gentleman, and 'love blossomed' Fortunately for Lucinda who was basically homeless at the time, she started living with Harlton, but described her time before getting romantic with him as: fascinating. Of course, when she would rant me about things like this, I was too young to understand, but mature enough to follow. When I met Harlton, he and Lucinda had already started dating. I used to think of them as the big happy family I never really had, and looked up to Harlton as a father figure. He was neat, kind and really sporty, and whenever he and Lucinda came to visit, they would look like a picture perfect old married couple. However, from the ages of 10 - 14, I rarely saw them, but mainly spoke to them (especially Lucinda of course) over the phone. I went through a lot of development and mental health issues, and unfortunately started smoking at 14. The next time that Lucinda and Harlton saw me, they were surprised. Of course, puberty exists, but the way I developed was far more than the way Lucinda did than when she was my age. Lucinda liked my new look, and Harlton too. Unfortunately at this time too, my father started to berate me for 'acting like a needy whore' whenever I would suggest we go out together or play games together. When I asked my mom to help me out with my period for the first time, she complied, and ran me through the signs talk. When I told my mom about the first crush I ever had in school, she would call me butchy and ask me if I had been using plan B's. My father found our somehow, and as a result of this, I was kicked out three months before my 15th birthday, for being a slutty whore who 'jerks off any man's son' I called Lucinda, and she welcomed me into her home with loving arms Harlton welcomed me in too, and the both of them helped me mentally and physically, so that I was in a state if calmness When I started to look for a job at 15, Harlton suggested I should work at his friends dealership for an extra buck, and I told him I know nothing about cars, and he said he would teach me. Through this period of time, it would result in him randomly coming up to me shirtless and saying:"let's go learn" or "oh I forgot to tell you something about this" Nothing out of the ordinary, as he would walk around the house with just his boxers a lot of the time. Meanwhile while he was teaching me, I had found this great job as a receptionist at a sports centre place, and landed it. When I had told him, he got all stern dark and pissy at me and said stuff like:" after all I've done for you, this is how you treat me? You really are ungrateful." I was confused, and when he told Lucinda, expecting her to talk me out of the job, he got even angrier when she supported me and went to go and take me shopping to buy some cute: 'office siren' clothes. Harlton didn't speak to us for about a week and a half, and then everything went back to normal. When I had got this job, the pay I was receiving was pretty good, so I started to spend money on myself and get myself tutoring sessions, clothes, makeup and a bunch of other stuff. Harlton didn't like this, and he demanded that I split half my wages with him, as well as make me keep my bedroom door open at all times. I did so, and listened to him, but because my bathroom is also connected to my bedroom, whenever I got annotated with the rule, I would lock myself in my bathroom with a blanket and pillow and watch on my phone, just for the feeling of privacy. Harlton didn't like this, and threatened to take the lock off my bathroom off if I: 'hid from him' again. A boy at my sports centre place would chat to me every afternoon and ask me general questions, and ask me if I could go go any play area place, what would it be? I would respond, Chuck E Cheese ballpit area place, and we would continue the conversation until it was time for him to start his workout in the gym section of the sports centre. I told Lucinda about this, and she told me she was happy for me and to be careful. Oe day, Harston offered to drive me to work, rather than me taking the bus and walking for 45 minutes. I accepted the offer happily. I would try and enter the backseat behind the driver, and he would insist I sit in the front next to him. The whole ride he would push and ask questions like: "Is there anyone you're interested in at school?" And would always say 'you can tell me'. Because I hadn't really had any one on one conversations properly with him, I would only say vague things like: ' nah I'm too focused on school right now' or ' I'm not looking for a relationship at the moment'. He would respond saying: ' don't hide from me I know there's someone' and to avoid anymore questions I would switch over the topic to Lucinda. Harlton would then reveal to me that he is planning to propose to Lucinda, and for some reason I would feel my heart drop from hearing that, like if it was my gut trying to tell me something. I faked a smile and was happy for him, and then tell him that this is my stop 15 minutes before my workplace, so that he doesn't actually find out specifically where I work. (I'm not sure why I did this, but I'm glad I did.)
Fast forward, and I'm 16, I've been working at my job for a while, and I find out that the boy that I've been talking to, Miguel, goes to my school, and his parents sponsor many of our school sports events. He asked me one afternoon, if he could get to know me more out of work, and I said yes. One day, I would see Harlton waiting in his car for me right outside my workplace. When I open the passenger car door, he asked who that boy I was talking to was. I replied, a school mate, and he would raise his voice and demand him that i tell the truth, and I revealed that I've been talking to him for a whole now, and that he was gonna take me out on a dare outside work. He completely blew up at me, calling me a whore and a prostitute, and screaming that I lied to him. That day, he sped off and told me I can make it home by myself. When I came home, I arrived to him taking the door off my bedroom and him taking the lock off my bathroom. To be honest, I didn't really mind as much as I should've, and that pissed him off again so much that he said he wanted to go through the phone that I bought with my own money. I said no, and when he wanted to get angry with me again, thankfully Lucinda stepped in and told him to take a shower while she prepares food for him..I thanked Lucinda and gave her a hug, to which she hugged me back and winced. Fast forward to last week, last night on a Saturday,(after finding out that he somehow installed an Airtag inside my phonecase, I told Lucinda, and she said I should leave it there for my own safety, but by this point i was already pissed off at how controlling Harlton was so i removed it and put it in the sole of his own shoe ) to go for a walk for a little smoke break. Not even 10 minutes after I've left, I recieved exactly 32 missed calls and 99+ messages from Harlton asking where I am, and where did I go. When I finally answered, he called me a bunch of rude misogynistic words that I can't even think of typing, and demanded I turn on my location so that he come and pick me up. How would he have known I wasn't home unless he came into my room. At 10PM at night. I told him I would be home in an hour and he should chill out, and he said I should turn on my location or else I would regret it. I ended the call and quickly called my now boyfriend Miguel, with my hands shaking, I explained everything that's been happening and what the current situation was. He said nothing but ' Send me your location' with a love heart. I sent it to him and he said calmed me down over the phone and told me he would be there in 15 minutes. I was relieved until I saw the headlights of Harlton's car. I saw him He saw me He started chasing after me, screaming at me fo come back. And I all I could do was run Run. Don't stop. By the time it had been five minutes, I was slowing down and he was catching up. I screamed when he pulled me back by my hair onto the muddy grass floor and he told me that I can never escape him, and he told me, 'do you know who you are to me?' He placed a tight grasp on both my arms and tried pulling down my hello kitty pajama pants (which now had to get rehashed after I just washed them) I was frozen in shock according to Miguel, who had heard Harlton shouting and my screaming, and pushed Harlton off me and took me to his car. I remember Miguel lying ne down in the backseat of his car with a blanket and a packet of chips telling me its going to be okay.
Miguel's parents welcomed me ever so lovely into their home without know the situation, and when Miguel explained what happened, they said I cab stay in the guest room and live with them for as long as I need.
Lucinda's phone called me, and I picked up. Harlton was on the other line saying how I'm going to regret this, and how he's going to get me back from my little 'boytoy' and show me what a real man is like. I ended the call, and called back in the morning to Lucinda. Thankfully, Lucinda picked up, and the first thing she told me was that she was in a hotel. When I asked her what happened, Lucinda explained that Harlton was shouting and cursing at me so loudly on the phone that it woke her up, and when he opened her phone to call me, he saw the male contact of her boss at work and woke her up fully enough to start verbally abusing her. She said that when he finally put her to sleep, he packed a small amount and went to hotel, and called our parents to let them know that Lucinda and I would be coming back soon because we have nowhere else to go. Surprisingly, they complied and they paid for Lucinda's hotel night and they asked for my contact information, after I cut all contact with them after my dad kicked me out. I explained to Lucinda who I was staying with and she was relieved.
Fast forward to today, we met up at Miguel's House, and talked. She said she was planning to leave Harlton, just after he called her and begged her to come home, saying that he bought an engagement ring to make it official that she's truly his.

Ever been in a high-stakes business meeting where it feels like your brain is ready to burst from all the information flying around? Yep, me too. Let me tell you a tale.
Before all the hustle and bustle, I was Mary, a junior marketing exec at a mid-sized tech firm. We had a big meeting coming up with a major client to discuss revamping their brand. I was selected to present our ideas.
The night before the meeting, instead of scrolling through Instagram or watching Netflix, I decided to take a different route: I reviewed the concept of cognitive load. For those who don’t know, cognitive load refers to the total amount of mental effort being used in working memory. It's like your brain's RAM, and once it's full, it starts acting up!
So I took the time to simplify our elaborate presentation. I used diagrams, replaced long texts with bullet points, and used simple, jargon-free language. I also made sure that I wasn't just telling the clients what to do, but showing them how our strategies would work.
The day of the presentation came. As I started, even with the least tech-savvy clients, I could see them nodding along, understanding the points I was making. The presentation was a hit! They loved the simplicity and clarity of our plans. We won the contract, and I was hailed as a hero at work!
And that, my friends, is the power of understanding cognitive load in business. It's not just about feeding information to people. It's about presenting it in a digestible, comprehensible manner that just works.
P.S. I'm definitely not Mary and this isn't a real-life story. But hey, who says hypothetical scenarios can't teach valuable lessons? Regardless, the next time you find yourself in a sticky business situation, remember to manage the cognitive load, and who knows, you might just save the day!
P.P.S. Also, don’t forget to take care of your brain's RAM. It's more important than you think!

(Please imagine a beautiful picture of a sunset here, I can’t add t because my account is very young)
I accepted it. It just IS
Love y‘all. I had so much hate ln God. Gave him everything. He punched my heart. I seeked him so much- Nothing. Jeremaia 29 12-14 is not true for me. So much belivers I am terrible pain, so much suicides, even if God provides that he will give our thoughts even if God provides that he will give our souls what they really need what they really need. The promised that he created us perfectly, but I see children coming on earth with bone cancer and terrible pain. No one could ever explain to me and that’s OK. People are so bad in general, they are monsters. I wanted to live with God and after all what I went through, I just asked him for a life and a family. I never wanted money. I never asked for anything apart from love. And I also asked for a clear sign that God is there for me. This world is full of atheism, and I didn’t want to be a part of this. I want to be a child of God and live in his presence. I wanted to know if I die. He will be there for me. I see This world is full of atheism, and I didn’t want to be a part of this. I want to be a child of God and live in his presence. I know that if I die, he will be there for me. I seeked him with all my heart. I read so much testimonies and near death experiences. I wanted to understand everything nothing. Never an answer never a feeling of love from God. So there are two opportunities left which we sel so there are two opportunities left which result in the same thing. God is not what we think and the Bible is not true , or not like that- and God want help us here on earth Second thing is that there is maybe no God so all those people telling me to shut up with god where true. If you see the facts and the opening questions that would be the easiest thing. Reality Shows that there is no God.
Whatever, at the end of the day, I am all alone and not even God is there for me. I will die from my broken heart or from whatever you know what I’m saying. So they are sold so could do so much in this world and are so loving, but their purpose is to die, to suffer.
Of course, that makes me very distant for god because that’s a lie that he loves us. Maybe there’s really a Satan. But if God is not able to protect me from him, even if I trust him and not Satan then what is God? Not powerful ?
However, I just finished my belief . Like thousand times before I spoke so often and out of my heart. But it’s OK. I accept it. It was just such a great situation to look in the sunset on the mountain and speak my last prayer . I was very naïve. Why should I be one of those who seem to have a real testimony while they are so much who are suffering terribly?
It makes me so sad . After speaking for almost 10 minutes I didn’t feel a thing. I felt that my prayer didn’t end on God. Even if i was on my knees. So people don’t make the big mistake I did . if you lost everything in life, go to God and think that he is there for you maybe he is but the chance that you are one of his chosen (testimonies) is very low. From a quote that powerful I would have expected at least assign that he is there may be a tree or whatever . If he knows it’s my soul like he tells me he knows that I am skeptical. I apologized e so often for that.
Bless you !!!

Before I start, I am in NO way claiming to be the victim in this situation. I had a part to play too. My bf (19M) and I (19F) have been together for three years. We went through our teen years together as friends and then when we were 16 we started dating. We have been inseparable since day one, and I stay with him at his apartment every weekend. He's my best friend and I love him more than anyone. We’ve been through so many life challenges together and We share a very deep bond. Hes super attractive and kind and the best man I’ve ever met. He’s also extremely hard working and started his own business at a young age. The problem started with our differences. I grew up in a family that was quite conservative and frowned upon heavy drinking/any substances including marijuana. His family however is absolutely crazy and they all do substances heavily. He grew up in a very abusive household and he was abused badly as a child and teen. As a result of this, he carries around a lot of trauma with him, and although he doesn't show it at all, it come out when he uses any substance. Even before we dated, he was a heavy marijuana user. He was wasting so much money on it and smoked morning and night. It was not only affecting his studies, but also his metal health declined rapidly. He would have violent panic attacks every other day, he would cry all the time telling me how badly he wanted to stop and how it was killing him. (He has a lung issue and he was getting sick often) eventually, I helped him get clean (after a lot of stress) but he relapsed a few times and never told me. He would lie to me constantly about buying/ smoking but we got there eventually. When we turned 18 he moved out of his mom’s house and got his own apartment with the money from the business he started. Things were going very well for a long time, until I noticed he had started drinking a lot. It turned from “a few drinks here and there” to getting wasted every single day. His business slowed down and his mental health declined. He has severe OCD and the alcohol apparently stops his intrusive thoughts. I sat him down and spoke to him about this gently multiple times, but he assured me it’s okay and that he has it under control. I obviously cannot control someone, so I left it alone, offering my support where I could. It went on for longer and no matter how many times I tried to talk to him gently and help him, he refused. Then it started to get really bad. After drinking at night, He would wake up in the middle of the night in some sort of sleepy daze and kick/hit me, yell at me and insult me in the worst ways possible. It was like a flip had switched and he was a completely different person. His eyes were so scary. When he woke up the next day he didn’t remember anything and cried when I told him what he did. He said he’d stop drinking and seemly, he did. But I kept catching him. Every time I thought he’d gotten sober, the sleep abusing would start again and I knew he was drinking. Everyone told me to leave him, but I just couldn’t. I hated that he was going through such a Hard time and I wanted to help him so badly. I reached out to his mom but she just said that I’m the crazy one for trying to control his life (she’s a heavy drinker) The night time alcohol induced abuse didn’t stop. He would wake up the next day and be super remorseful, but i just didn’t see how I could stay anymore. It killed me, but I had to leave. I did but It lasted 5 days. He promised me with his whole heart that he wanted to be better for me and he was just struggling so much with his intrusive thoughts and severe OCD. I just could not bare to see him so sad and depressed. It killed me. We got back together and it was bliss. He didn’t drink anymore and the yelling/insulting stopped. it was back to normal again. Until we went to visit his mother in another state a few months later. In celebration, his mother bought him alcohol. I felt that it wasn’t my place to say no, so I just nodded when he asked if he could drink. He got absolutely wasted. Eventually I just went up to the room we were using in his mom’s house and tried sleep. At about 3 am he came into the room. He was talking to himself and falling over. He started to cry and I got up to comfort him. I took him to the bathroom and he threw up so I showered him and put him to bed. He fell asleep and then the shit hit the fan. He started to mumble curses and sat up, he then kicked, shoved and insulted me. It was the worst time yet. I tried to get up but he pushed me into a wall and stormed out of the room. I wished I was dead. I was so far away from my home and all alone. He came back after a while and wet the bed. When I tried to take the sheet off he shouted at me again and swore at me. I had to sleep on the floor. The next day he didn’t believe me when I told him what happened. He was absolutely shocked by what he did. He cried and held me and I just forgave him again. I know it’s stupid but I understand him. He battles with his mental health and alcohol takes those thoughts and feelings away for him. We went back home after a few days, but things never were never same. He continued to drink (not at night) because we concluded that that was the cause of the night-abuse. I realised that I can’t control what he does anyway and the only person that can make him get sober is himself. His business took off and The drinking rapidly slowed down over the next few months, and things went smoothly. but I realised that I had developed deep resentment towards him. Everything he did irritated me, I hated the way he looked, I hated talking to him, I hated being around him. Ut was like my body wanted me to just get away from him. I still felt deep love for him , but i just didn’t like him anymore. I wanted to leave. I wanted to be free, And that brings us to now. We are still together, but I just can’t seem to like him anymore. He relapsed and drank again last week, and went absolutely crazy and broke stuff, yelled and insulted me. I just can’t seem to care anymore. So I decide to end it. I can’t waste my life saving someone who can’t be saved anymore. So I talked to him, I told him that I loved him, but the yelling and insulting was killing me. I was kind and soft while I spoke to him, but he went crazy again. I think he did some sort of drug but I have no way to prove it. He told me if I left him “I’d regret it forever” and that he’s “gonna do something”. I’m terrified. He’s a good man, but he’s scary when he’s faced with rejection. have no idea what to do. I love him so much. My heart is so full of him but not in a romantic way anymore at all. Now he’s threatening me. I feel so weak for not being able to leave.

I’m a 20 year old first time mum to my little girl, she is 10 weeks old now. But I have some questions about my birth and wondering if anyone knows a bit about medical negligence?
I was induced at 38 weeks due to my daughter measuring very small and contractions that had lasted for a week without going into active labour. To begin with, at 10am I had my waters broken, I was given an hour to see if it worked, my cervix had become slightly dilated but it was suggested I have the hormone drip (Pitocin). I chose to wait another hour to see if my labour progressed any more. Unfortunately, it hadn’t, so I consented to having Pitocin. I was given my first dose at 2:30pm.
I was starting to have mild contractions, and around 30mins later was given the next dose of Pitocin (my cervix was not checked). My contractions became a little more intense and I was given gas and air, but they were very manageable. Another 30mins ish later, I was given my third dose of Pitocin (again, my cervix was not checked).
Within 10mins my contractions became unbearable. I had gone from one contraction, talking through it, to literally the next one, curled up screaming. I was begging for the epidural, but I was told I still wasn’t far along and that a Pethidine injection would be better. At this point I was not able to focus enough to say “no, I want the epidural”, and so I just took whatever I could get. Before giving the injection, my mum (birth partner) expressed her concerns to the midwife that she believed I was very far along, and that it might be a good idea to check my cervix before giving the pethidine.
They said “there is no clinical need” and gave me the injection mid contraction. Around 5mins later I needed to push. I was still fully clothed and saying “I need to push, I’m pushing”. The midwife told me “you don’t need to push yet you’re not that far along”. It didn’t take long for her to realise I was actually pushing. My clothes were quickly off and my legs put in stirrups as I pushed. I was so drowsy from the pethidine but my daughter’s head showed very quickly. At this point, her heart rate began to drop very quickly and the emergency bell was pulled, suddenly there were about 20 people watching me give birth. I was told to “stop screaming”, and that my baby was drowsy and I needed to get her out now. I was given an episiotomy to get her out faster. 15mins from when I first needed to push, luckily she was here and safe. My entire labour was just 3 hours and 15mins.
I later found out that pethidine should not be given when you are close to birth, for that exact reason, it makes you and baby too drowsy which causes complications. I am also concerned that my dilation was checked only once, after my waters were broken.
I’m not sure if this is a case of medical negligence, or if I’m overreacting because the birth was very different to how I wanted it?
I live in England and gave birth in an NHS hospital, any advice would be really appreciated.

It's been two months. Almost two year relationship, lived together for 1.5 years. He (28M) lost feelings/ fell out of love with me (32F), said I was an amazing girlfriend and he is so sorry for putting me through this. He cried, saying he "felt like he was making the biggest mistake of his life." I've gone No Contact and it's going on 5 weeks since I've texted him about the relationship/ my feelings. I am letting him feel the loss of me in his life.
As excruciatingly painful as it's been, I wanted to share what's helped me move forward and hear what's working for everyone else. Crossfit gym 3x a week, putting even more time into my studies, daily journaling, weekly therapy, and playing with my dog more at the park, and being more present and grateful for the life that I have. I started a daily gratitude journal as well.
When I reflect upon the relationship, I realize he did me a favor. I'm not sure if I had the confidence at that point to end things. I thought it was just a rough patch. The last 3 months of the relationship were so chaotic, with him sharing his anxiety of not loving me the same as before to telling me how much he loves me to how he's so confused. He started slow-fading and wasn't present anymore. He stopped telling me he loved me, stopped any type of intimacy.
Towards the end, it was unbalanced. When he was down, I'd do something special like cook his favorite meal, give him a massage, or do an at home spa day. For his birthday I blew up 30+ balloons in our living room and surprised him with a gift. I'd take the dogs out and let him sleep in late on a Saturday, tell him how much I loved him, and show up in every way possible. He was stressed looking for a job. I was supportive, encouraging, and when he landed a job in another European country, I seriously considering moving with him. However, he was "too stressed financially to talk about what this move would mean for our relationship and our future together" and "his love just had to be enough right now." (That same love that he fell out of 3.5 months after this discussion)... A week before Valentine's Day, I asked him for flowers, yet when I gave him his present and waited for mine, he "forgot and got busy with work stuff." We live five minutes walking from four different florists. I told him flowers are incredibly special to me, several times over 2 years, I asked him for flowers. He bought them once or twice. I just started buying them myself each week. He smoked weed nightly from 10-12am and watched sports videos and rarely came to bed with me, went out drinking with friends 2-3x a week and came home so tipsy/ drunk and/ or high that , and didn't have his driving license so I always had to rent the car and drive us anywhere. He called his mom and sisters a lot for advice, talking to them about our relationship, and any issues. Looking back, the night of the breakup he asked me if he could call his mom to decide what to do when it came to breaking up with me. Typing that out feels embarrassing. We are adults.
What in the world was I thinking?
The more I think of it though, I am not sure the last time I felt truly loved by him. Considered. I keep thinking when is the last time I felt cared for and can't find an answer. I do not know why or how I was with someone for so long who did not match my effort. At one point he did but when he saw that I was all in, he stopped. He thought relationships were supposed to be easy and the spark was always supposed to be there. But he just lacked maturity. I felt so unattractive, unloveable, and unworthy when he dumped me and moved out of our apartment. Like I was a burden to love and be with, which I know isn't true. I can no longer stay in situations that make me feel like a ball of anxiety, with people who are unsure about me. I've been working hard in therapy to switch from "Why didn't he want me?" to "Is this good enough for me? Are my needs being met? Do I feel loved? Is my partner putting in equal effort?" and letting anything less be an automatic turnoff. I stayed way too long. I do not want someone who is unsure about me.
I do not want to be with someone who does not have the emotional maturity to understand that long-term relationships take actual effort. If I do not water and give my plants sunlight, my plants die and I am responsible for that. Life is hard. It sucks sometimes. I want someone who is willing to put in the effort, and doesn't base how they treat me on a daily basis based on feelings which are fleeting and ever-changing. At the end of the day I tried my best and I opened my heart to love. I am proud of myself. What helps is that CrossFit helps me feel challenged and more at home/ confident in my body. I've working on holding my head up when I walk, plus trying on new outfits/ playing dress up in the mirror, and setting boundaries of what I will and will not tolerate. At the end of the day, it may not always be my anxious attachment style. Any human on the receiving end would feel anxious. My self-esteem and confidence need loving attention and tending to. I'm reading a book on how to cultivate your life as a woman and become more secure.
I know I am a good person and am worthy of love right now as I am. I'm kind, intelligent, considerate, loving, intentional, and hard-working. I show up for the people that I love. I am a good friend. I have a good heart. I am capable of loving someone and putting in the care and work to cultivate a loving, long-term relationship.
This is a huge lesson in learning how to always choose myself. Thank you.
TLDR: Self-worth and love are always more important. Reflecting on my time with love has helped me (32F) learn what I need.

It's been two months. Almost two year relationship, lived together for 1.5 years. He (28M) lost feelings/ fell out of love with me (32F), said I was an amazing girlfriend and he is so sorry for putting me through this. He cried, saying he "felt like he was making the biggest mistake of his life." I've gone No Contact and it's going on 5 weeks since I've texted him about the relationship/ my feelings. I am letting him feel the loss of me in his life.
As excruciatingly painful as it's been, I wanted to share what's helped me move forward and hear what's working for everyone else. Crossfit gym 3x a week, putting even more time into my studies, daily journaling, weekly therapy, and playing with my dog more at the park, and being more present and grateful for the life that I have. I started a daily gratitude journal as well.
When I reflect upon the relationship, I realize he did me a favor. I'm not sure if I had the confidence at that point to end things. I thought it was just a rough patch. The last 3 months of the relationship were so chaotic, with him sharing his anxiety of not loving me the same as before to telling me how much he loves me to how he's so confused. He started slow-fading and wasn't present anymore. He stopped telling me he loved me, stopped any type of intimacy.
Towards the end, it was unbalanced. When he was down, I'd do something special like cook his favorite meal, give him a massage, or do an at home spa day. For his birthday I blew up 30+ balloons in our living room and surprised him with a gift. I'd take the dogs out and let him sleep in late on a Saturday, tell him how much I loved him, and show up in every way possible. He was stressed looking for a job. I was supportive, encouraging, and when he landed a job in another European country, I seriously considering moving with him. However, he was "too stressed financially to talk about what this move would mean for our relationship and our future together" and "his love just had to be enough right now." (That same love that he fell out of 3.5 months after this discussion)... A week before Valentine's Day, I asked him for flowers, yet when I gave him his present and waited for mine, he "forgot and got busy with work stuff." We live five minutes walking from four different florists. I told him flowers are incredibly special to me, several times over 2 years, I asked him for flowers. He bought them once or twice. I just started buying them myself each week. He smoked weed nightly from 10-12am and watched sports videos and rarely came to bed with me, went out drinking with friends 2-3x a week and came home so tipsy/ drunk and/ or high that , and didn't have his driving license so I always had to rent the car and drive us anywhere. He called his mom and sisters a lot for advice, talking to them about our relationship, and any issues. Looking back, the night of the breakup he asked me if he could call his mom to decide what to do when it came to breaking up with me. Typing that out feels embarrassing. We are adults.
What in the world was I thinking?
The more I think of it though, I am not sure the last time I felt truly loved by him. Considered. I keep thinking when is the last time I felt cared for and can't find an answer. I do not know why or how I was with someone for so long who did not match my effort. At one point he did but when he saw that I was all in, he stopped. He thought relationships were supposed to be easy and the spark was always supposed to be there. But he just lacked maturity. I felt so unattractive, unloveable, and unworthy when he dumped me and moved out of our apartment. Like I was a burden to love and be with, which I know isn't true. I can no longer stay in situations that make me feel like a ball of anxiety, with people who are unsure about me. I've been working hard in therapy to switch from "Why didn't he want me?" to "Is this good enough for me? Are my needs being met? Do I feel loved? Is my partner putting in equal effort?" and letting anything less be an automatic turnoff. I stayed way too long. I do not want someone who is unsure about me.
I do not want to be with someone who does not have the emotional maturity to understand that long-term relationships take actual effort. If I do not water and give my plants sunlight, my plants die and I am responsible for that. Life is hard. It sucks sometimes. I want someone who is willing to put in the effort, and doesn't base how they treat me on a daily basis based on feelings which are fleeting and ever-changing. At the end of the day I tried my best and I opened my heart to love. I am proud of myself. What helps is that CrossFit helps me feel challenged and more at home/ confident in my body. I've working on holding my head up when I walk, plus trying on new outfits/ playing dress up in the mirror, and setting boundaries of what I will and will not tolerate. At the end of the day, it may not always be my anxious attachment style. Any human on the receiving end would feel anxious. My self-esteem and confidence need loving attention and tending to. I'm reading a book on how to cultivate your life as a woman and become more secure.
I know I am a good person and am worthy of love right now as I am. I'm kind, intelligent, considerate, loving, intentional, and hard-working. I show up for the people that I love. I am a good friend. I have a good heart. I am capable of loving someone and putting in the care and work to cultivate a loving, long-term relationship.
This is a huge lesson in learning how to always choose myself. Thank you.

I became obsessed with the idea of charity groups arriving on Irvrana and helping the Bissem with various things that don't necessarily show up in the big picture- so you know what? I decided to do it myself. Enjoy!

When the news came of aliens being real, it had been a shock- how could anyone in Irvana have seen such an audacious announcement being made by the government? Yet as the news was streamed as these strange beings from the stars appeared before a gathered crowd of reporters, all three of them as different from each other as they were from the Bissem, it was impossible to refute the claims as being some sort of hoax.
For those like Director Pengele, however, the news was... perhaps less impactful than it was for others- an exciting oddity, to be sure, but the main relevance it had for her life was that it was an effective way of keeping her patients occupied. The children in particular were enamored with the news, fascinated by the sight of such alien beings, chattering amongst both themselves and their caretakers about countless questions, observations, and hopes they held regarding these enigmatic visitors who claimed good intentions.
It made guiding them through physical therapy all the easier- talk of the tall alien with no feathers or fur a ready distraction from movements needed to compensate for a missing flipper or foot. Pain that would have been an obstacle they needed to be pushed through faded with the distraction of the way the quietest alien was covered in quills and barbs- how did one function normally with so many weapons hanging from their back?
Even the adult patients welcomed the distraction- the melancholy of lost mobility and crushed dreams buried under theorizing about what the aliens might actually want, or griping about them being an affront to the gods- though thankfully the crowd of protestors who believed the same about their prosthetics seemed to have found a new target for their demonstrations, appearing outside of public courthouses and official government buildings instead of harassing her doctors and patients with insults and screaming declarations of them stripping their patients of their bissemity and replacing it with metal and machinery.
Their prosthetics didn't even use metal- too prone to rust, and weighed down too much! What limited mobility they could manage to provide for their patients required much lighter plastics and alloys be used!
Anyways, news of aliens quickly faded from her attention as she focused on her work as usual- signing documents, trying her best to continue sweet-talking the groups her hospital relied on for funding, doing her best to remain civil in the face of complaints of money being "wasted" when replacing missing limbs was a fantasy, reviewing potential new patients whenever they came up or got through the paperwork of appealing for a place in her halls, coordinating between the research teams who tried to find new solutions to improve their prosthetics and the doctors who would need to actually implement such changes and make sure they worked for the patient... The work was never-ending, and not well suited to indulging in distractions, even ones as big as Aliens actually existing!
So her current circumstances, sitting nervously inside of an official Lassmin limo speeding through the city streets, escorted by armed guards sat to either side her, with no explanation beyond the statement they'd given when they burst into her office and 'invited' her down to a meeting with a representative from those aliens? Well, it wasn't exactly something she'd been scheduling in advance!
Nervously combing her feathers back into place and ensuring they were evenly coated in just enough oil to give herself a healthy sheen, Pengele straightened her posture and practiced her best business-deal resting expression as the column of vehicles pulled into the central government building's parking lot. She might not know what the aliens wanted with a specialty hospital director- one of her more 'inventive' patients would probably suggest that she was simply deemed an acceptable sacrifice by her own government. She did her best to quiet that annoyingly intrusive though as she was waddled through the halls, past onlooking groups of bissem turning from whatever they were doing to see what the commotion was about.
"Ah, the woman of the hour!" The mayor's perfect politician tone was a welcome distraction- even if it couldn't completely hide the slight nervous tremor to his words. The vritalian male's more modest stature was ever so slightly raised- he preferred to wear claw-boosters, saying the added height granted him a natural air of authority. Right now though, his demeanor was that of someone who thought they were in trouble but didn't know why- a flipper idly tugging at the ceremonial garnet of office around his neck. "Quite the unexpected series of events, isn't this? Why, aliens within our city- and apparently with a deal to offer! The tabloids ought to have a field day with this once it's announced!"
"That is... an unexpected surprise, indeed!" she slipped into her practiced 'meeting with investors' speaking patterns with ease, giving a socially-acceptable head-bob of polite agreement. "Though, I haven't exactly had it explained why such a... momentous moment requires my own presence? My facility isn't the most prominent industry within the city..."
"Nonsense! Your hospital and it's research are a prize of the city- a statement of our commitment to bettering the lives of our people, even the ones struck with the most unfortunate of circumstances!" The mayor gushed words filled with positivity but little substance- especially when she remembered the last time they had met regarding certain financial grants for their continued operation. "In fact, the aliens seem to have caught notice of your valiant mission, and are interested in cooperation in the pursuit of shared goals, in order to reach a better tomorrow with joined flippers- er, whatever they have! I for one, have no doubt that their contributions will be valued and most beneficial for us all!"
...Those were a lot of words for him to essentially say that he was missing a lot of details too and didn't actually know why the aliens had taken an interest in her facility, but then that was the way of most politicians- fill the conversation with enough noise, and people would focus on the feelings of the statements made rather than the actual substance. Fortunately, she'd long since learned to navigate such methods of obfuscation, though knowing that he was also unaware of their purpose here made that twisting in her gut just a bit more intense.
Thankfully, her worries were temporarily pushed to the side as they were waved into a conference room, where a Selmer was already seated and waiting for them. The trappings draped across her shoulders were adorned with several metals, denoting her as a military officer- though Pengele wasn't familiar enough with their system of rankings to know exactly how high she must be in the chain of command. The officer looked between the two of them as they moved to take their seats, and nodded in satisfaction as the doors were closed behind them.
"Thank you both for attending so promptly- this situation is rather unprecedented, so there was no time to explain in... unsecured environments. I apologize for any stress that caused you, but we need to move quickly in order to take advantage of this opportunity."
"That's perfectly understandable, ma'am!" the mayor gushed before Pengele could finish opening her beak- leaving her to carefully close it again as he began to prattle once more. "Time is a resource we never have enough of, especially when it comes to matters of supreme import! Why-"
"As I said," The officer interrupted coolly, "time is of the essence here, so forgive me if I insist on skipping the pleasantries in favor of briefing you both on the situation. That is," she looked directly down at the mayor, his boosters not even close to making up for their natural height difference, "assuming that is agreeable to you, sir mayor?" It did not sound like a question.
Pengele watched him start to look offended, before settling his expression and leaning back in his seat. "I suppose explanations would be prudent, given the... urgency with which we were summoned."
"Great." Picking up a folder and tapping it on the table, the officer glanced between the two of them and clacked her beak. "The short of it is, we've been approached by an internal group within the aliens- not their government, but some sort of charity organization- which has expressed interest in beginning operations within our nation. Having reviewed the nature of the offer, the government believes this would be a boon worth accepting, should we find someplace willing to accept them. Your facility, Director Pengele, is a fit for the parameters they requested, and thus we would ask for you to consider their offer, should you choose to hear them out- and for you, sir mayor, to approve of their operations being set up within your city."
"My facility?" Pengele questioned. "They were interested in our facility above all others? Forgive me, but... we are quite specialized in our purview, and not nearly as advanced as some of the other hospitals even within this city. Is there a reason we were of particular interest to them, miss...?"
"General Kippar," the Selmer clarified, "and it's your specialization that is of interest to them, director. They are offering to provide their own knowledge of the design and production of prosthetic limb technology, and believe your facility would be the best starting point for integrating their advancements with our own efforts- and for what it is worth, we hold that same belief. Your advancements in the field are beyond what anyone else has accomplished, so it is our hope that you will have an easier time adapting whatever they provide for our own use. Though, I hope it is understood that the government is going to wish to receive access to any of the technology they are able to provide."
"That..." pausing for a moment, she thought over what she had just been told- the heady giddiness of potential access to that kind of resources and knowledge temporarily pushed aside as best she could manage in the face of a request for a commitment. "...the information I would be perfectly fine with sharing- we may even produce some official medical journals to release it to the general healthcare community. For hardware though, we cannot offer anything already assigned to a patient, as it would be their property at that point. Perhaps providing working examples unspoken for by a patient yet?"
"Seems reasonable enough," the general nodded crisply. "Though perhaps we should let this alien make their sales-pitch first, before we start counting the fish in our net. If the two of you are ready?" Pengele nodded eagerly, and the mayor nodded as well- though he seemed to be pouting about being excluded from their previous conversation. Ignoring his ill mood, the general turned to one of the guards and waved a flipper at him, getting a salute in return as he left the room.
Pengele fluffed her feathers in her seat, the mayor striking up a conversation about permits and such barely registering to her as she grappled with the thought of what was being offered. Alien medical technology, likely beyond anything her people had managed so far- how much would that push their own progress ahead? Had they figured out waterproofing of the joints? Were their prosthetics capable of powered articulation? The best prototypes her own people had managed so far was a replacement leg that provided a steady base and enough flexibility for the patient to walk without needing a cane, even if the battery life of it wasn't great. Just having more advanced batteries would do wonders for giving their patients something so they could move under their own power! She might need to hear this alien out before hashing out the details, but at face value, there was no way should was going to refuse this offer!
Her internal thoughts were interrupted by the door opening, and one of the tall, lanky aliens striding through. Their long limbs bending and swaying as they moved around was fascinating to observe- so different from the normal sway of a bissem's walk, this alien barely shifted to either side at all as they moved! Their unfortunately-bare face brightened as she (was it a she? Their body was different from the male that had been on the videos from first contact) laid eyes on them all, lips pulled apart in a baring of teeth as she pulled alongside the table, pulling out a seat and setting a rectangular carrying box of some sort down beside her.
Her lips began moving, releasing a series of guttural noises from her throat, before a device affixed to her chest crackled to life. "Greetings and good day," the device spoke in perfectly-understandable speech- even bearing a similar tone to the alien's voice! "My name is Lucillia, and on behalf of the Daedalus Initiative, I would like to thank you all for hearing me out and giving us a chance to bring our work to you. While our races have only been in contact for a short time, it is a great pleasure to be working with you towards our mutual mission of ensuring everyone has a chance to live Life Without Limits."
Not speaking their language herself? That made sense- not everyone could learn a new language quickly- especially if it crossed the species barrier. Thank goodness they seemed to have figured out machines that could translate in real-time for them- otherwise this conversation would be much more awkward to parse through.
"That is my hope as well," Pengele chimed in quickly, noting how the last bit sounded like a practiced slogan. "I'm Director Pengele, and I run the Prow-Wave Prosthetic Institute, and I'm very interested in getting my flippers on whatever innovations you can offer us to help our patients return to a normal life. I am glad your government chose our facility for the first site to introduce this technology- we'll be sure to get to work right away finding how to adapt any advancements to our own work on limb-replacement."
Whatever response she was expecting, the tall alien tilting her head back and barking out a laugh was certainly not it. "Oh, I am not here on behalf of the UN, my dear- Daedalus Initiative is a non-profit organization dedicated to relief efforts and providing medical care to those who either don't have access or can't afford the care and resources that they need. If it was up to the UN, this meeting wouldn't be happening, and you wouldn't be seeing hide or hair of this technology for months, much less getting started on it." She gestured energetically with one of her long limbs, the spindly fingers of her hand twitching in a deliberate eye-catching way. "However, I hope you'll agree that spending several months refusing children and patients medical care while politicians play their little games doesn't exactly sit well with me."
"Such games are not without reason, miss Lucillia," the mayor spoke up, sitting up in a professional posture. "While I am willing to accommodate your efforts here, I now find myself worrying if we are causing a diplomatic incident allowing you to set up a facility in my city."
"If we were setting up a facility, then we WOULD be in trouble," she answered quickly, pointing an index finger at the mayor while her thumb was held skyward- some sort of human gesture? "After all, they don't want anybody contaminating culture, especially with a new uplift, and telling them we just want to help people who've already lost limbs doesn't really seem to work. However," her finger swung around to point at Pengele, "if an EXISTING facility were to request the Daedalus Initiative provide aid, then the SC's charters on charities and relief workers would leave us free to provide as much aid as possible, so long as it is confined to within that existing facility!"
Blinking at the energetic display, Pengele crossed her flippers in front of her beak, considering the boisterous human as a few missing pieces clicked into place. "Well, that certainly sounds like it would be beneficial for your organization- if such a request was to be made, could you give us some examples of what might be offered to us? I can't imagine you already have prosthetics ready-made for bissem just yet."
"Well, not specifically, but we do have something that should be easy to adjust to the required specifications!" Reaching down into her case, the human pulled out a technological pad, then started fiddling with it as images popped up and scrolled along the screen- what a marvelous piece of technology that would be! Just imagine how much paperwork such a device might be able to replace! "See, we have a species back on Earth called penguins- technically several species, but I digress- and conservation efforts did end up designing some prosthetic flippers for a few members who had lost them due to either predators or human shipping. Obviously adjustments will need to be made, seeing as it's not a perfect comparison- for one thing, your flippers are far more dexterous than a penguin's would be- but I think you can see that the base design is a promising starting point!"
The human slid her dataslate over, and Pengele picked it up, examining the blueprints she was being shown... and slowly felt her beak falling open at what she was seeing. This... this was something at a level that her engineers thought would be decades away at minimum- full articulation, no cables in need of being plugged in, no external batteries- was that a direct connection to the patient's nervous system?! Did these aliens have that kind of medical technology in such abundance that even charity workers could provide it?! While she was right that this wasn't the full dexterity of a natural bissem flipper, this was still leagues beyond the best tech she could provide to those with deep enough pockets for it- and she was considering this a base model?!
"H-how much are these going to cost us again?" she questioned weakly, the tablet clattering back down onto the table. "Our budget... while we have a decent fund for research and development, this kind of tech..."
"That's the beauty of it! We're a non-profit- and most of our funds come from donations anyways! For this project, we've already arranged the necessary funding in advance- none of this will cost you a dime! Or, whatever currency you use."
"That is... quite generous," The mayor interrupted, tapping the table with a flipper, "though you'll forgive me for asking... are theoreticals all you have to offer? While this all sounds very nice, it's good to have confirmation you can deliver the product offered- or at least something similar, to show you have the capability. That's only fair, yes?"
Something devious sparked to life in the human's eyes. "Oh, that's no trouble at all- I even brought along an example of the product we offer! This model is one I can personally vouch for!"
And with that, she reached up her sleeve, shifting something around... and then pulled her own arm off, setting it down on the table with a thunk- one drowned out by the mayor's terrified shriek as he pushed away from the table, flippers flapping at the air as his chair slowly tipped backwards and crashed into the ground, spilling his flailing form onto the floor.
Pengele barely managed to keep her own chair balanced, flippers held to her beak as she stared at the detached limb- before jerking her gaze towards the grinning human, who seemed disturbingly nonchalant about being reduced to a single arm. Thankfully, it didn't take too long for her brain to kick back into gear, slowly clicking information into place as she noted the lack of blood, or disturbance, and the fact that she had been asked to present a working model...
"I-I didn't even notice," she stammered, eyes flicking back to the prosthetic on the table. She could see the metallic sheen at the end, with some obvious connectors sticking out... but the rest of the limb looked almost indistinguishable from the human's other limb, which she had blatantly laid on the table for comparison. Gingerly, Pengele reached out and poked at the smaller digits of the limb, feeling not heavy iron, but some kind of soft, firm material- and the fingers flexing closed with barely any pressure from her touch.
So many tiny joints, so close together, and they'd all been working perfectly- no external power source that she could see, either on the limb or on the human. The way she'd been able to detach it so easily, without any obvious pain. Picking it up, it was surprisingly heavy- a soft material that felt so much like normal skin, so unlike the harsh firmness of their own plastic limbs that she couldn't help but run her flipper along it, marveling at how it gave and flexed so similarly to the real thing. There were differences, now that she looked at it up close- bits that were a bit too angular to be natural, strange spots of firmness where there shouldn't be- but the fact she had to focus to find them, even this close up...
"Pretty good work, right?" the human spoke up, a tinge of pride in her voice- even as the device on her chest clearly began to struggle with the speed at which she began talking, giving a strange echo between her natural speech and the translation. "Not as good as the original obviously, but that model's served me well for about fifteen years now- and it's a decent upgrade from the first one I got fitted with after, well... unfortunate events at my old position." Sitting back up, Lucillia patted at her empty shoulder proudly. "So as you can see, I've got a personal stake in making sure all the prosthetics we provide are the best they can possibly be!"
With shaking flippers, Pengele pushed the limb back across the table to her. "W-would you mind putting this back on?"
With a knowing smile, the human rolled up her sleeve, exposing an obvious technological port right where her shoulder should be- and with a bit of shuffling, lined up the connectors and pushed it into place, the limb locking in with a solid-sounding click. Dexterous fingers flicked up a panel and pushed a few buttons, then flicked it close as a tiny light came on. Rolling her sleeve back down, the human rolled her reattached arm, making a show of flexing her fingers in sequence before grasping and spreading her entire hand.
"No stutter, no lag, just got to make sure the connection is seated properly, lock it in, and turn it on! Battery lasts for about six hours, and the charging plug is discreet and can fit into any typical electrical port. No pain when it's disconnected either- you basically turn off your connections to the nerves, and it feels more like the arm has gone numb- a bit trippy for the first few months, but certainly better than some alternatives!"
Pengele felt her chair wobbling beneath her, and chose to simply abandon it, ignoring the clatter as she climbed onto the table and waddled over as fast as she could, eagerly extending a flipper towards the human. "As Director of the Prow-Wave Prosthetics Institute, I am requesting the Daedalus Initiative's aid as quickly as possible. Just tell me what you need from me- anything it takes to get this tech available to my patients as soon as we can!"
"Well, of course there are papers to be signed and filed," Lucillia grinned, the grip of her prosthetic warm and soft as she gripped Pengele's flipper and shook it, "but once we take care of that, we'll have a ship flying in by the end of the week. I look forward to working with you, Director Pengele."
"Likewise, Director Lucillia," she beamed, fluffing her feathers in joy. This kind of miracle-tech was going to help so many Bissems!

It's been two months. Almost two year relationship, lived together for 1.5 years. He (28M) lost feelings/ fell out of love with me (32F), said I was an amazing girlfriend and he is so sorry for putting me through this. He cried, saying he "felt like he was making the biggest mistake of his life." I've gone No Contact and it's going on 5 weeks since I've texted him about the relationship/ my feelings. I am letting him feel the loss of me in his life.
As excruciatingly painful as it's been, I wanted to share what's helped me move forward and hear what's working for everyone else. Crossfit gym 3x a week, putting even more time into my studies, daily journaling, weekly therapy, and playing with my dog more at the park, and being more present and grateful for the life that I have. I started a daily gratitude journal as well.
When I reflect upon the relationship, I realize he did me a favor. I'm not sure if I had the confidence at that point to end things. I thought it was just a rough patch. The last 3 months of the relationship were so chaotic, with him sharing his anxiety of not loving me the same as before to telling me how much he loves me to how he's so confused. He started slow-fading and wasn't present anymore. He stopped telling me he loved me, stopped any type of intimacy.
Towards the end, it was unbalanced. When he was down, I'd do something special like cook his favorite meal, give him a massage, or do an at home spa day. For his birthday I blew up 30+ balloons in our living room and surprised him with a gift. I'd take the dogs out and let him sleep in late on a Saturday, tell him how much I loved him, and show up in every way possible. He was stressed looking for a job. I was supportive, encouraging, and when he landed a job in another European country, I seriously considering moving with him. However, he was "too stressed financially to talk about what this move would mean for our relationship and our future together" and "his love just had to be enough right now." (That same love that he fell out of 3.5 months after this discussion)... A week before Valentine's Day, I asked him for flowers, yet when I gave him his present and waited for mine, he "forgot and got busy with work stuff." We live five minutes walking from four different florists. I told him flowers are incredibly special to me, several times over 2 years, I asked him for flowers. He bought them once or twice. I just started buying them myself each week. He smoked weed nightly from 10-12am and watched sports videos and rarely came to bed with me, went out drinking with friends 2-3x a week and came home so tipsy/ drunk and/ or high that , and didn't have his driving license so I always had to rent the car and drive us anywhere. He called his mom and sisters a lot for advice, talking to them about our relationship, and any issues. Looking back, the night of the breakup he asked me if he could call his mom to decide what to do when it came to breaking up with me. Typing that out feels embarrassing. We are adults.
What in the world was I thinking?
The more I think of it though, I am not sure the last time I felt truly loved by him. Considered. I keep thinking when is the last time I felt cared for and can't find an answer. I do not know why or how I was with someone for so long who did not match my effort. At one point he did but when he saw that I was all in, he stopped. He thought relationships were supposed to be easy and the spark was always supposed to be there. But he just lacked maturity. I felt so unattractive, unloveable, and unworthy when he dumped me and moved out of our apartment. Like I was a burden to love and be with, which I know isn't true. I can no longer stay in situations that make me feel like a ball of anxiety, with people who are unsure about me. I've been working hard in therapy to switch from "Why didn't he want me?" to "Is this good enough for me? Are my needs being met? Do I feel loved? Is my partner putting in equal effort?" and letting anything less be an automatic turnoff. I stayed way too long. I do not want someone who is unsure about me.
I do not want to be with someone who does not have the emotional maturity to understand that long-term relationships take actual effort. If I do not water and give my plants sunlight, my plants die and I am responsible for that. Life is hard. It sucks sometimes. I want someone who is willing to put in the effort, and doesn't base how they treat me on a daily basis based on feelings which are fleeting and ever-changing. At the end of the day I tried my best and I opened my heart to love. I am proud of myself. What helps is that CrossFit helps me feel challenged and more at home/ confident in my body. I've working on holding my head up when I walk, plus trying on new outfits/ playing dress up in the mirror, and setting boundaries of what I will and will not tolerate. At the end of the day, it may not always be my anxious attachment style. Any human on the receiving end would feel anxious. My self-esteem and confidence need loving attention and tending to. I'm reading a book on how to cultivate your life as a woman and become more secure.
I know I am a good person and am worthy of love right now as I am. I'm kind, intelligent, considerate, loving, intentional, and hard-working. I show up for the people that I love. I am a good friend. I have a good heart. I am capable of loving someone and putting in the care and work to cultivate a loving, long-term relationship.
This is a huge lesson in learning how to always choose myself. Thank you.

Similar to the film Medusa Touch, a man lies comatose in a hospital bed. Advance medical directives were never drawn up, or at least never presented to staff. No one can, or will, pull the plug, but maybe someone should...
Terrifying and more or less inexplicable disasters begin to happen shortly after his hospitalization. A detective looking into the incidents realizes the comatose man is the common thread, and writes up a detailed report to the prosecutor's office. "Having exhausted all conventional explanations for this wave of disasters, I have only one theory to offer, that the subject patient is somehow responsible for all of it, through hitherto unknown agency. To stop this unprecedented assault on public peace and order, we must terminate his life support."
Where my proposed show departs from this minor horror classic, is that the investigator's recommendation doesn't lead to a frantic race to shut the heart/lung machinery off, but instead, paperwork submitted to a judge, with pleadings for a warrant to let them carry out their deed. The response is stark and begins the creation of a parallel legal process: "before we kill this man, you must prove the unprovable." And so it begins - a prosecutorial team that brings on board sharp lawyers, world-class parapsychologists and other scientific experts. And a "defense" team which seeks to use equally brilliant minds to oppose them.
The riff on "Medusa Touch" would just be the pilot/origin episode.
Every week, there would be a new and varied situations:
A couple sue a realtor for selling them a house that's infested by a poltergeist, but the claim must be validated as real, and not a hoax.
A fellow is accused of cheating at casinos - is he a card shark, psychic, or merely very lucky?
To keep things interesting, some of these cases would have to resolve in non-supernatural, perfectly "prosaic" ways.
I would like to see ParaLegal: Unknown Agency lean toward the coolly procedural, like Law and Order. Although I loved Ghostbusters, my show would be antithetical to that movie. PL: UA would feature few, if any jokes. Minimal, if any gadgetry, other than scientific instruments needed to supply the legal teams with objective measurements and data.
Although I see this as highly episodic (and it could stay that way), I also thought about adding an emerging thread/arc - as some of these cases resolve with proof of supernatural beings, forces, etc, our world passes a tipping point - the existence of such things, always at the fringes of "possible" is now deterministic. This stuff is real, and changes well beyond the courtroom begin to happen - some miraculous and beneficial, others horrific beyond imagining. The Djinn is out of the bottle, because WE popped the stopper, and it seems like there's no getting it back in there...

It started off like the most romantic movie you've ever seen. I (m, 50s, American) was on a solo trip through Europe in April 2023 when I met her (f, 40s, French) at a super cool neighborhood party I got randomly invited to during my 1-day visit to Austria. We exchanged glances, and got to talking. She was very cute and French. It was so random, seemed like kismet. We connected instantly and we spent the whole night together (very PG and very sweet at first). Have you seen Before Sunrise? Kinda like that.
I left the next day to continue my journey in Europe. But we started texting constantly. Then she wanted to come with me to Istanbul for a few days. It seemed impulsive, but I readily agreed. It was pure bliss.
She was stylish, cute, demur, fun, smart, and she adored me completely. She would do this "flashbulb eyes" thing that would knock me out. Even some random person came up to us in Istanbul and said, "you are such a cute couple" and took our picture. I had been divorced for a few years and the dating scene where I live in California is not so great.
I go back to California and she goes back to Austria where she lives. She told me she had to call her mom 6 times to tell her about how in love she was, but had to hang up because she was crying so much and couldn't talk.
Constant texting, pictures, love messages, calls. It was so nice. She even wrote poems and made songs (they were a bit frantic and weird, but anyway). I told all my friends. They were so happy for me. I was very in love with her.
Then about a month later, I made a casual comment that I admitted to be "demanding", ie., I don't put up with a lot of crap. I could feel the change.
Her nephew came into town to spend a few weeks with her. She started to ignore me. The texts and songs and pictures trickled down. She said she had no time. But she was going to concerts, etc. It was bullshit. When I raised my concerns, she said I was shouting (I was just angry, but did not shout).
Curiously, it felt like a previous relationship that I had. It felt like love bombing and discarding. Finally, when she did get around to calling me, I told her that she can't treat people that way and that this seems like a personality disorder. (This time I really was shouting). So I ended it and blocked her. I was really sad, but I moved on. I went on lonely solo trips and even got back into dating (I actually had some promising dates!)
In October of last year, she slipped past the blockade, reached out, and I responded. I asked why she ditched me. I got no real answer but I wanted to believe. My friends told me don't do it. I knew the risks. I just desperately wanted that love again. I desperately wanted to have my L. She adored me. She was everything I wanted.
We meet up in DC for the most romantic Christmas I ever had. I was finally with someone I really loved. It was lovely. I was still hurt though. I wanted her to "kiss my heart" and tell me that she was sorry. She told me to "let it go". I just sucked it up.
On this trip, she told me about her late husband. She said they were very in love and never fought. He was Mexican and they met in Vienna years earlier. On a trip to visit his family in Mexico, they all were kidnapped, the men were separated from the women, the women were let go a few days later, but all the men disappeared. She told me she looked for him for 3 years before giving up.
So I gave her lots of slack. We also had a language barrier. We spoke English together, but her native language is French. I attributed any miscommunication to that as well.
We agreed to meet up again in Austin. And this is where the cracks really started to show. It was the first episode of her losing it. Right before the trip, she blew up after some text exchange. I don't remember what happened as per usual ("bewildered" is how I felt with these episodes). She said she was devastated and that we shouldn't meet anymore in Austin.
So I stayed up all night talking her off the ledge. We made up and I was happy again. I totally ignored this and following episodes.
We had a nice time in Texas. So much that we decided that we wanted to be together. When we got back to our respective countries, she told me she was moving to California (no discussion with me, just a decision on her part). Shortly thereafter, she told me she was going to start studying to get her master's. Then she was going to apply for another job in Vienna (???) Then she realized that wouldn't be a good idea. Anyway...
I wanted her to be here in California with me but it's really tough to move to the US without being married. She didn't really think anything through, she just thought some company would give her a work visa. It don't work like that, honey. I was ready to marry her (but she still was technically married because she didn't have the death certificate of her late husband who disappeared).
Meanwhile, I had a ticket to meet her in Austria and spend 2 1/2 weeks together. I just wanted to experience "normal boring life" together. We got along so great when we did. She liked all the music I liked, even stuff that she really shouldn't have heard (obscure stuff from the 80s). (Looking back, maybe this was mirroring.)
Right before my trip, I got to worrying that she was coming to live here in August sight unseen. I was afraid I was building up an image of some idyllic life, when in reality California has tons of problems. So I made a video to show her the nice things, but also the bad things of my neighborhood. When I mentioned this, she lost it. "You don't want me to come. I hate you. You're awful. Don't come to Austria." She later called and we made up. Again. This was 12 hours before I got on the plane.
I went to Austria. The first 1.5 days were great. Then her aunt and uncle came to stay with us from France. They are all very close. But her 1 bedroom apartment made for close quarters, especially since I had never met them. Spanish was the common language (I'm fluent, so no problem). I liked them. They were a cute couple and they cared about her a lot. The uncle told me "you know what happened to her. She loves you very much, so please take care of her". I said I would of course. I really loved her.
But the next day her mood changed. She was happy and chipper with them (and her shitshow best friend) but cold to me. I wasn't included in the conversations really. She didn't try to bring me into the fold. Not everyone is a good conversationalist, I reasoned.
The following day, we were all supposed to go to Prague. Romantic Prague. But in the morning, she told me "you were sulking all day yesterday" and "you obviously don't like my aunt and uncle so why don't you just go your own way."
This is on my vacation, mind you.
I felt trapped. But we made up 15 minutes later and all went to Prague. She was still grumpy with me.
That night, on the river in romantic Prague, she called me a robot and said she didn't know who I was. She said I should leave.
So that night, I had to figure out a plan. I still had a bunch of my stuff at her apartment in Vienna. I also had her spare key. I felt the heebie jeebies, worried about my physical safety. I couldn't sleep.
My plan was to take the train to her place in Vienna, grab my stuff, leave her key, and peace out.
But the next morning, she realized I had the extra key, and threatened to call her uncle and the police if I didn't give it to her.
So I found myself walking around romantic Prague at 7am with just some of my crap, no plan, and no sleep. I felt like some refugee. Then she called. "Do you want to talk over coffee?" I had no other plan.
We make up of course. The next day we are hot and heavy in a church tower in a little Czech town. We were back, making out, holding hands, acting like teenagers. It was so nice.
Don't ask me how I could forget what had happened just a few hours prior.
We went back to Austria and had another nice day, making plans to go on adventures. Yes, we were now talking about me moving to Austria.
But the next night, right before the aunt and uncle were to go back to France and we were supposed to go to Budapest, she blew it up again.
She had a knack for blowing things up right before really important events.
I had left the bathroom fan on and she just lost it.
(By the way, all of these blowups where in whispers so that aunt and uncle could not hear. She's very sweet to her family and I guess she can do no wrong.)
We were in bed and now it was my turn to lose it. In a whisper, I said, "you're stupid and you have this ugly evil face".
Then she kicked me while in bed. She was LIVID.
Still in a raging whisper, she told me to get out (in my underwear I guess) and if not, she was going to "make a scene".
I was so scared.
Then she just got into bed. And I followed.
We talked it over. She said I deserved to be kicked. I told her no words should lead to violence.
Back to normal. We went to Budapest for a few days and then back to Vienna. Now we're alone together, at last. And guess what? We had a great time. We rode her bike in the park with her sitting on the back rack, like kids. We went shopping. I treated her to restaurants (I paid for everything on the whole trip, about $2k). We played guitar and sang together. We went to the Prater and rode rollercoasters. We made love.
On the last day, she took me to the airport. We had breakfast and we both were sad. But we had plans for the future.
She walked me to security and we said our goodbyes.
When I got to the gate, I get a text. "You didn't look back when you went through security. I'm so sad. Have a nice flight!" I had to talk her off the ledge again: "I thought you were leaving, I'm so sorry my love. I didn't mean to. I love you so much."
When I got back, I was so exhausted. I thought it was the jetlag, but I was on edge. I was angry and didn't know why. Snipping at my coworkers. My body hurt I was so tired.
But I was looking for jobs in Austria. I still hadn't realized anything.
I had an opportunity to go camping in Yosemite a few days later on Friday. Even though I was so tired, I knew I should take the opportunity (campsites there are hard to get). I called her Friday am, asked her how her day was. She knew I still hadn't packed and had a very important presentation to give too. I realized I need to get ready for that presentation that was starting in just a few minutes. "Sorry my love, I need to go. Got to get ready. I will send you a message when I get to Yosemite."
Then right when my presentation was about to start, I get a message. "You are so cold. You knew I was hurting but you ended the call so abruptly."
That was it. The last straw.
When driving up to Yosemite, I told my friend the whole story. I hadn't told anyone about all the explosions and breakups. I couldn't believe my own ears. Was I actually saying these things?
Then it hit me. I had to end it.
Later that week, I sent her an email to end it. I knew a phone conversation would end badly. Email is not the classiest, but I did what I could.
I got hateful texts, then texts trying to get me back, showing pictures of the stuffed animals I got her. Then her final one.
Then it hit me. This was abuse. The realization has been coming in waves. And this wasn't the first experience I had either. I dated M a few years earlier who actually ENJOYED abusing me. I could even see a little smile when she would throw insults or say things to shock me.
I don't think L is a narcissist. She couldn't help it. She even told me once that I could help her "heal".
EPILOGUE
Looking back, L told me on several occasions that I wouldn't like her once I got to know her. She was right about that one. She said she wasn't smart and that I wouldn't like her (but she spoke 4 languages and has a couple of university degrees and a good job). She said if we lived in Paris, I would leave her for a Parisian girl.
I see all these other things that I ignored. Like how she called herself a "party girl" and would go dancing with her girlfriends, but no guys would ever talk to her. Right.
No guys from the beach volleyball meetup group she organized would ever try to get with her. Right.
The guy who gave her a book of Sufi poetry (very romantic) wasn't hitting on her. Right.
The old guy who she met at the airport and wrote to her and signed off as "ton Ron" ("your Ron") was just some nice old guy. Right.
So right when I met her, she had just moved out of her old place with her ex, even though they had only dated for a couple of weeks and stayed as "roommates" for the remaining 5 years. Then two weeks later you get with me? Right.
I got her and her family a bunch of little gifts and she gave me whatever was in her cupboard and cheap socks with bears with 3 eyes. Meanwhile, she went to great lengths to get gifts for her people.
Maybe she saw me as a ticket to live and study for free in America.
I was a total fool. Maybe she never even loved me. Or am I just telling myself this to make it easier for me?
I wrote a second email telling her a lot of these thoughts, but in a polite tone. I asked her to get help.
I blocked her everywhere of course. But even though I set up a filter to delete any incoming email, I still check my trash box 5 times a day to see if she wrote.
How I wish that she actually got help and that she could actually be in a real relationship with me. I know, I know.
Why did you hurt me, L? I would have done anything for you. I was your bear, your prince, remember? I was perfect for you, remember?
I'm crying as I write this.
I hate this. I don't want to be alone again. You were the one for me.
I miss you.

It's been two months since the breakup. Almost two year relationship, lived together for 1.5 years. He (28M) lost feelings/ fell out of love with me (32F), said I was an amazing girlfriend and he is so sorry for putting me through this. He cried when breaking up with me, saying he "felt like he was making the biggest mistake of his life." I've gone No Contact and it's going on 5 weeks since I've texted him about the relationship/ my feelings. I am letting him feel the loss of me in his life.
As excruciatingly painful as it's been, I wanted to share what's helped me move forward and hear what's working for everyone else. Crossfit gym 3x a week, putting even more time into my studies, daily journaling, weekly therapy, and playing with my dog more at the park, and being more present and grateful for the life that I have. I started a daily gratitude journal as well.
When I reflect upon the relationship, I realize my ex did me a favor. I'm not sure if I had the confidence at that point to end things. I thought it was just a rough patch. The last 3 months of the relationship were so chaotic, with him sharing his anxiety of not loving me the same as before to telling me how much he loves me to how he's so confused. He started slow-fading and wasn't present anymore. He stopped telling me he loved me, stopped any type of intimacy.
Towards the end, it was unbalanced. When he was down, I'd do something special like cook his favorite meal, give him a massage, or do an at home spa day. For his birthday I blew up 30+ balloons in our living room and surprised him with a gift. I'd take the dogs out and let him sleep in late on a Saturday, tell him how much I loved him, and show up in every way possible. He was stressed looking for a job. I was supportive, encouraging, and when he landed a job in another European country, I seriously considering moving with him. However, he was "too stressed financially to talk about what this move would mean for our relationship and our future together" and "his love just had to be enough right now." (That same love that he fell out of 3.5 months after this discussion)... A week before Valentine's Day, I asked him for flowers, yet when I gave him his present and waited for mine, he "forgot and got busy with work stuff." We live five minutes walking from four different florists. I told him flowers are incredibly special to me, several times over 2 years, I asked him for flowers. He bought them once or twice. I just started buying them myself each week. He smoked weed nightly from 10-12am and watched sports videos and rarely came to bed with me, went out drinking with friends 2-3x a week and came home so tipsy/ drunk and/ or high that , and didn't have his driving license so I always had to rent the car and drive us anywhere. He called his mom and sisters a lot for advice, talking to them about our relationship, and any issues. Looking back, the night of the breakup he asked me if he could call his mom to decide what to do when it came to breaking up with me. Typing that out feels embarrassing. We are adults.
What in the world was I thinking?
The more I think of it though, I am not sure the last time I felt truly loved by him. Considered. I keep thinking when is the last time I felt cared for and can't find an answer. I do not know why or how I was with someone for so long who did not match my effort. At one point he did but when he saw that I was all in, he stopped. He thought relationships were supposed to be easy and the spark was always supposed to be there. But he just lacked maturity. I felt so unattractive, unloveable, and unworthy when he dumped me and moved out of our apartment. Like I was a burden to love and be with, which I know isn't true. I can no longer stay in situations that make me feel like a ball of anxiety, with people who are unsure about me. I've been working hard in therapy to switch from "Why didn't he want me?" to "Is this good enough for me? Are my needs being met? Do I feel loved? Is my partner putting in equal effort?" and letting anything less be an automatic turnoff. I stayed way too long. I do not want someone who is unsure about me.
I do not want to be with someone who does not have the emotional maturity to understand that long-term relationships take actual effort. If I do not water and give my plants sunlight, my plants die and I am responsible for that. Life is hard. It sucks sometimes. I want someone who is willing to put in the effort, and doesn't base how they treat me on a daily basis based on feelings which are fleeting and ever-changing. At the end of the day I tried my best and I opened my heart to love. I am proud of myself. What helps is that CrossFit helps me feel challenged and more at home/ confident in my body. I've working on holding my head up when I walk, plus trying on new outfits/ playing dress up in the mirror, and setting boundaries of what I will and will not tolerate. At the end of the day, it may not always be my anxious attachment style. Any human on the receiving end would feel anxious. My self-esteem and confidence need loving attention and tending to. I'm reading a book on how to cultivate your life as a woman and become more secure.
I know I am a good person and am worthy of love right now as I am. I'm kind, intelligent, considerate, loving, intentional, and hard-working. I show up for the people that I love. I am a good friend. I have a good heart. I am capable of loving someone and putting in the care and work to cultivate a loving, long-term relationship.
This is a huge lesson in learning how to always choose myself. Thank you.

I recently finished Fool's Fate, and like many of you I am not happy that Fitz gets back with Molly quite suddenly at the end of the Tawny Man trilogy. I've always hated the trope of the hero marrying his high school sweetheart after hes saved the day, and it's insult after getting to see his incredible relationship with the Fool evolve for 3 books, only for him to end up with someone he hasnt spoken to in 16 years. Sure, he ends up with family and community through Molly, but what would he talk about with her? What would they do together? These are some thoughts I had on why we may have gotten this deeply bittersweet ending.
Throughout Fool's Fate we see Fitz slowly accept two things: that his relationships with his kids are worthwhile even if they arent exactly what he wants them to be, and that his feelings for the Fool are more than platonic. By the end of the book, the dynamic of their relationship has done a 180 - Fitz is now the one who sets no limits on their love, and the Fool is the more emotionally immature one who sets limits on that love out of fear and avoidance.
There are many signs, in my opinion, that Fitz grows to accept having romantic feelings for the Fool. He wants to skill-merge in the beginning of the book, and only stops the merging so the Fool doesn't figure out the plan to keep him safe. When the Fool shows up on Aslevjal, Fitz doesn't care about any conclusions people will draw about sharing a tent with him and does so simply because he wants to. He refers to the Fool as "my dream", resurrects him, and while tending to the Fool in the days after finally (and tragically) can call him Beloved without reservation. He even offers to leave his new life behind to travel with the Fool. Whether Fitz would actually be able to do this is open for interpretation, but I dont think it matters much. The offering is an acknowledgement that he loves the Fool as much or more than everything else he has gained throughout the trilogy. He is willing to give his heart entirely to the Fool, if the Fool will let himself have it. He won't, though. The Fool decides for Fitz that he needs a partner capable of child bearing, which - I am setting aside all the White Prophet justification he gives for this - is likely a result of the Pale Woman's torment of his feelings. His torment involved the Pale Woman rubbing it in both of their faces that Fitz would try and undo not being able to raise Nettle by raising a baby of his flesh and blood. If she hadn't tormented the Fool by convincing him he can't provide Fitz with what he wants, maybe he wouldn't be so insistent Fitz be surrounded by a pre-destined family, that would have been chosen in grief. Once the Fool is resurrected, there is really nothing stopping the two from creating a family and community of their own.
The Fool leaving quite tragically undoes almost all the character growth Fitz has up to that point. He had accepted before the Fool left that nothing could undo the decision he made to leave Nettle to Burrich and Molly. He had accepted that while Nettle and Dutiful did not see him as their father, they still had a good place for him in their lives (not to mention he HAS A SON already). Fitz ends up pursuing Molly in the absence of the Fool, because that was what the Fool saw and insisted still happen. He settles for her, knowing he is settling, because the Fool is gone and through Molly he can have a family. I don't think this will be a great family dynamic, though. Before the Fool leaves, Fitz was accepting a secondary position to Burrich in Nettles life, and being the friend/mentor she desperately wanted him to be. The Fool leaving causes Fitz to rush into pursuing Molly recklessly, and he ruins his budding friendship with Nettle in the process. All because of the Pale Woman's psychological torture of the Fool. I will not recover from any of this easily, and I certainly have no idea what to expect from the final Fitz trilogy. I have no interest whatsoever in exploring his relationship with Molly again so I probably will be putting the series down for awhile 🙁
All this said, I find it fascinating that so many different conclusions as to why he ends up with her can be drawn. It sucks, but at least it sucks in a way that leaves you thinking.

Listen up.
I don’t know how I got here. There is a bed, unmade, that I am currently sitting on. The pillows are enveloped by the duvet, being dragged along as if I was only thing keeping it down. There is a bedside table, where a lamp dutifully resides, and a phone, unlocked. There is a picture on the wooden, damp wall, that piqued my interest.
“A happy family”, the inscription read. I can see 2 parents, the woman being blonde, and wearing a sundress, with hairclips on her hair. The man had dark brown curly hair and was of medium build and he was wearing a collared shirt, and pants that were skintight. A little boy stood by next to his parents, smiling happily at the camera, blowing bubbles. The parents were holding hands, smiling incessantly like it could be their last day. They looked magical, a real perfect family. But, this has gotten me into a whirlpool. I don’t seem to know who they are, their faces constantly contorting in my dreams to produce something ambiguous, a monstrosity, never to be discovered. I see their faces scream out in pain, them clutching their faces, crying. The background seemed to have changed, with it being replaced from a grassy meadow to a cold, damp highway, with nowhere to go, and nothing to do, but to suffer in pain, unnoticed and never found.
The house I currently reside in is nothing short of a dilapidated mess. The floorboards creak every time I step on it. The ceiling is always dripping as it goes, clunk, clunk, clunk onto the floor, and the doors screech like a parrot whenever I enter or leave my room. The lights flicker, constantly malfunctioning, leaving me in darkness for most of the day. There are no windows either, and a distant, repugnant smell of something decomposing is always there, like an infestation, climbing and clamoring into the inner walls of this establishment, deeming it theirs forever. There is a basement, but I don’t dare to go in there, as its dark hue fills me with trepidation from head to toe. It is an abandoned child, and I am its ruthless parent, leaving them over and over again, until they simply have nothing. No physical presence, no emotional connection. It is just a stranger with a life of its own, a life I know nothing about, and that fills me with nothing but ignorant bliss. Eventually, I would have to force a connection, and that could either make or break me, and I do not want to find out which one I could be.
In short, curiosity kills the cat.
You might have a burning question in your mind, and I hope my explanation solves this.
I believe this is my punishment for asking questions. You see, you know nothing about me. I am the son of two wealthy parents. My dad is an award-winning film maker, and my mom is a doctor. This means that I have always been surrounded by the newest, latest technology, at the cost of forming a meaningful relationship with my parents. Everything in life has always been handed to me, so I formed quite an arrogant personality as a result. Screaming at fast food workers, never giving to the poor, bellowing my anger onto waiters at restaurants. I was never a forgiving man, rather the opposite. I realize now that although I had everything I could possibly have, there was always something personal and emotional that I couldn’t have, and that filled me with sorrow.
I was able to pursue my passion as a graphic designer. I’d work late nights, drafting out designs until the sun came up, chugging multiple energy drinks. I had nothing to do but to aimlessly work on the latest product I had been assigned. I had friends, but they were all shallow colleagues whom I talked to once a day, never being invited out for drinks, or even having their phone numbers. Now I crave it. I wished I had talked to them more, then maybe I would’ve diverted my fate somehow. Maybe if I had responded with a meager “Hello” to them when they stumbled in from the result of their late-night drinking, or had said a few words to them in passing, maybe this wouldn’t have happened to me. Maybe the devil, or whatever it is, wouldn’t prey on me for being such a miserly, misanthropic weasel, bound to the chains of my own self.
I need to retrace my steps to properly convey my dilemma.
It was a Friday, the last day before a 2-day weekend, so of course everybody was relaxing, sailing through their work so they could leave early and drink their woes away, working like machines in their tiny little cubicles, producing drafts and determining their designs. I was tense. I was suffering from a creative block, meaning I couldn’t think about any new designs, and a deadline was fast approaching. My shirt clung to my chest, my hair was a mess, and I was hurriedly tapping on the desk, trying to think, think, think, before I would essentially miss the deadline and be deemed “lazy” by my boss.
A colleague, who’s name has currently slipped my mind, approached me with a worried look on his chubby face.
“Hey man, you alright? You look stressed.”
I don’t respond to him. I don’t particularly like this guy, but he treats me much nicer than all the other weasels and impertinent people in this office. He’s the closest thing I had to a friend, if I have to say. Most of them usually come up to me to snoop in on my work, or to boast about their latest achievements.
“I won 2 tickets to a circus show!” A lady had said to me, as an attempt to reach out to me.
“The radio show said I could be on next week!” A man had once said to me in passing.
“I won $25 on my lottery ticket today!” A woman, my cubicle neighbor, had said to me.
Tch, pathetic. All they want to do is just boast, boast, boast. I came into work to work, not to hear about your latest quarrels and sorrows. Find somebody who cares.
“Hey man, you alright?” The colleague’s words had enveloped my mind again, in a whirlpool, again and again. I couldn’t think of anything else but those words.
I snap out of my daze just as the colleague was about to say another word.
“Do you want to see my newest design?” he said, snapping his fingers into my face, enunciating every single word slowly, as if I was dumb. He said that in a sort of way that made me feel somewhat inclined to come, despite his impatient actions.
“Sure.” I said quickly, in a somewhat annoyed tone to reflect my dismay at his actions. I wonder what pathetic design I was going to see next. A tree, a plant?
I was at the colleague’s computer, curious to see what he had in store for me.
“Okay, so, how this works is that there is a plant. You know what a plant is right? This plant is slowly dying, and then you drag the sun,” He drags the mouse over the plant on the screen, “to here. Are you listening?” I looked away from the computer, and saw two pairs of fully black eyes looking at me from outside the large, rectangular window. I locked eyes with it, and it flashed me a toothy grin, and then disappeared back into the unknown. I felt a new feeling envelop me from head to toe, and one that felt nothing short of horrible. I continue looking at the screen in hopes that I could forget what I just saw.
“Anyway, the plant has multiple features on it that can help guide the user. It has a smiley face when it has adequate sun, and a sad face when it has no sun.” He continued, moving his body to face mine, “I think this could help teach people about the importance of taking care of the Earth and make them more aware about the ways to treat a plant. What do you think?”
“Oh, yeah, it’s alright....” I said, trailing off on the last word.
“Thanks, you can go now.” He stated in a monotone voice. He swiveled his body away to face the computer, leaving me to find my way back to my cubicle.
I couldn’t focus on my work, as all I thought about was that thing, with its toothy, pearly whites shining back at me from the window. Was that even real? I would ponder all over it, thinking about it being a hallucination from the excess amounts of energy drinks that I had consumed, to it being just a mistake, how it couldn’t have been a figure with those qualities, rather the reflection of something in the office that I had spotted at the wrong time. Despite these thoughts, I chose to work on some website designs on autopilot, not caring about what I produced, only that I had produced something by the end of the day, due to my incredibly high standards.
I left the office early that day, to everyone’s surprise. I started to aimlessly walk on the street, my shoes producing a click, clack, click sound every time I walked. There was a slight drizzle tapdancing on my head, making my perfectly gelled hair wet. It formed puddles on the ground, as I could feel the rain slowly soak up into my shoes as I walked into my untimely fate. After a few minutes of aimlessly walking, I stopped to check my reflection in a shop window, and was met with my little stalker. I ran, sprinting down the street until I was breathless, sweating, shaking. I was looking left, right, up and down, like a psychopath. I didn’t know what it wanted from me, and I didn’t know what to do to get rid of it. It was there, waiting for me. Waiting to get its prey. And I was its perfect target.
I couldn’t sleep that night. Tossing, twisting, turning in bed, trying to get that image out of my head. I’d blink, and it would be in my reflection. Blink, and it would be in my office window. Blink, and the figure was suddenly near me, gripping my neck, choking me, pressing its incredibly long and sharp nails into my neck, lapping at the blood oozing out of me. Screaming at me in tongues with its disgusting, sticky mouth, gripping my neck even harder. I was petrified. My hands immediately went to my neck, grasping at it, trying to get rid of the hands that had clung itself onto my neck like it was a baby bird clinging to its mother. I tried to kick at it, but it seemed like it wasn’t affected, just pressing harder and harder onto my neck until I could see the light. I became unconscious just as the monster was getting tired of holding my neck, seemingly uninterested from me not reacting to it. As a last resort, I screamed, asking it why it wanted to do this to me, and it just laughed at me. Laughed. I felt embarrassed, my cheeks flushing. It decided, just because I asked such a stupid, embarrassing, humorous question, to release me, and roughly shoved me away. It started to walk away, as I heard something squelch with every footstep it took.
That was the last thing I remembered before I ended up here. Sitting here, wallowing over the past, not being able to help myself get out. I feel hopeless, that there’s nothing else to do here but sit and reflect on my actions, and whether I deserve it or not. This is my true punishment. A lifetime of being bound by harsh, unforgiving, terrifying chains, and this monster wants to violently shatter the safe harness that has held me for my entire life.
I don’t know if I'm ready to face reality anymore.