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2023.08.04 20:15 SoLingersTheOcean Linuj QNA translation(done by Google translate) Super Danganronpa Another 2: part 1
Sora -------------------------------------------------
- When strength is expressed as a number from 1 to 10, Sora is said to be about 9.
- Sora can easily crush an apple with his hands.
- Sora is straight for now.
- Sora's grades are in the middle rank.
- If Sora had answered Makunouchi or Magorobi’s chat more seriously, they would have committed murder.
- Sora and Hashimoto After the Free Action Complete, Sora gave up thinking that Hashimoto was always better than Sannoji, and that he couldn't get any closer than that.
- If Chiebukuro, Kabuya, and Sora go to nail art together, they say they will each do it in their own image color. (Chiebukuro - sky blue, Sora - transparent (white), Kabuya (hot pink)
- Kasai, who collapsed at the end of Chapter 1, was eventually carried away by Sora and Chiebukuro.
- Sora has an image of stealing panties, so she has no thoughts when she sees them.
- Sora, Kabuya, and Chiebukuro When the three of them eat ramen, Sora and Kabuya add ordinary things like eggs and cheese, but Chiebukuro puts something like Tabasco sauce to make fun of the kids.
- The reason why Sora blooms a lot of romance flags is because she’s the main character!'
- Sora's seat at the restaurant changes slightly depending on the floating population, but usually, the vaguely empty seat on the in-game screen is Sora's seat.
- During the middle to end of chapter 3, Sora's intimacy with the others is rather normal with the rest of the students except for Kabuya, and the worst with Hashimoto and Sannoji.
Maeda Yuuki (Super Danganronpa Another 2)------------
- Maeda's hair is naturally curly.
- Maeda's height is that his growth plates are closed and he does not grow.
- Maeda says that Kasai's training may have helped him gain some stamina.
- Maeda's grades are in the middle ranks.
- If Maeda plays Pokemon, start with Firey and boosters to evolve Eevee. The reason is that the fire seems to suit.
- Maeda's visual acuity is 1.0.
- Among the SDRA2 children, the character who wakes up last is Maeda.
- If Maeda gets a girlfriend, the date course would be a normal cafe or amusement park.
- Maeda's grades are in the middle rank.
- SDRA2 Maeda Compared to the previous work, it seems that the character is a bit kind and the self-esteem is low. Utsuro, who was acting as Maeda, also showed a shrunken appearance in front of the super high school level in the early chapter 1, and in the case of Utsuro, it can be said that it is because he grew up while going through various things during the work (outside of the work, the main character buff)
- If Maeda did social media, Facebook would be the most Maeda-like.
- The fact that Nijiue and Maeda's favorite gifts are almost the same is probably because they both like manga/games, so there's a lot of overlap. 13. Among DRA and SDRA2, there is Maeda as a student whose hobby is gaming. He likes video games and mainly does action.
- Maeda's taste in AV is a bit Western.
- The reason why I like giving Makunouchi and Maeda a red book in free action is that I didn't give much importance to the symbol of the gift and made it, but there are too many gifts, so most decide on each gift by looking at the character's image, but the red book It's an erotic book itself (some people might not like it), and it has a strong comedic image, so I chose characters who would be okay with something pleasant and gag, because that was Maeda and Makunouchi.
- Maeda is mediocre, so even if he became an idol, the center would be impossible.
- Maeda seldom gets angry and is the type to get angry, but once he explodes, he gets angry like a fire.
- The cast rarely bathe in groups, but often in small groups. (e.g. Maeda and Kasai, Hibiki and Kanade)
- As much as Maeda likes animals, animals will follow Maeda well. I'm going to go to the middle of the day...
- It's not that Maeda doesn't read the red book, but he doesn't do it very often.
- Maeda likes skinship with friends and family, but tends to be shy with the opposite sex.
- SDRA1 Among the male characters, Maeda has the smallest foot size.
- If Maeda is asked if he can act cute to the person he likes, Maeda is timid... he's shy, so he wouldn't be good at it.
- Maeda's favorite dessert is ice cream.
- Kasai and Maeda saw the weak Maeda in the prologue, and Kasai's hot-blooded soul burned and took care of him, so they naturally became close.
- Maeda is the prettiest when dressed as a woman. Yomiuri might be fine too... Kagarin is muscular, so he’s out of style.
Shobai Hashimoto ---------------------------------------------
- Among DRA and SDRA2, Hashimoto is the most tone deaf.
- When Rinyuzu draws Hashimoto's bangs, he says it's easier to draw the poor bangs first and then draw the rest.
- Rinyuzu said that the character whose hairstyle was the most difficult to draw was Hashimoto.
- Hashimoto, who has the strongest mentality in SDRA2.
- Hashimoto takes care of his body only to a minimum level of living.
- Hashimoto's grades are in the top ranks.
- When buying souvenirs from Hashimoto, the D skill is 5000C in common, and the T skill is 1000C x the number of required skill points.
- Hashimoto is mentioned as a contract killer, but his main job is not that side, but a transaction broker, so the number of murders is not that high.
- Hashimoto doesn't really have an ideal type, but if I had to ask, he would like money.. 10. Hashimoto says that if someone is more valuable than money, he will protect them by devoting all his possessions.
- Hashimoto's personality in the past was more pure and a bit reticent than the present.
- Hashimoto is good at handling electronic devices.
- Hashimoto's hair is dyed, not gray.
- Until Hashimoto was abandoned by his parents, he must have lived a wealthy and harmonious life.
- Hashimoto's drawing skills are mediocre
- Hashimoto likes to make money with money. After trading, he makes bigger money based on the money he earns.
- When Hashimoto is very angry, if he gets angry enough to lose his temper, he will just kill the other person.(...)
- Hashimoto works as a broker and does a lot of dangerous things, so he gets injured a lot, so he says his simple first aid skills are good.
- Hashimoto is not very interested in animals.
- The subject Hashimoto would be most confident in would probably be math because he is good at mental arithmetic since he spends a lot of money calculations.
- Hashimoto worked as a broker and barely attended school. In fact, it is not an exaggeration to say that admission is processed only with documents.
- As for the gun that Hashimoto mainly uses, there is a description that Hashimoto also contracted murder, but since it is basically an assassination rather than a battle, he often uses pistols that are easy to hide. His shooting skills are also good. The favorite pistol uses a model with a Five-seven MK2 silencer from FN, imported from Belgium.
- If Sora became Hashimoto's assistant, Hashimoto would take good care of her. Because Hashimoto takes care of his people very well. The on/off of work is certain, so it is quite respectful to customers and collaborators. The phrase 100% reliability did not come out for nothing.
- Hashimoto's favorite food is cheap food. To be precise, good value for money food.
- When Hashimoto works properly, he dresses neatly.
- Except for the suits he wears to work, Hashimoto just buys cheap clothes and wears them.
- Hashimoto: My usual sleep time is different from time to time.
- Hashimoto's favorite knife is a folding knife that is lightweight and easy to carry, but he uses it basically anywhere, so he doesn't pick a gun like a gun.
- Hashimoto can speak 20 languages.
- Among the expensive things Hashimoto likes, what is his favorite gift? In fact, Hashimoto's favorite gift is more than any other item.
- Of all the people Hashimoto met while trading, he never kept in touch with anyone. After the transaction, he became a complete stranger.
- You can say that Hashimoto hates all food that he hates and thinks it would be a loss to eat it.
- Hashimoto's unique dark circles are caused by having a very unstable sleep pattern as a broker.
- Hashimoto is surprisingly a bookworm.
- What Hashimoto does unconsciously is a habit of touching his temples, as can be seen in the standing CG. To describe the feeling, I press my temples when I think or think about something.
- Hashimoto drinks only to the extent that it does not harm his health, and smokes to organize his thoughts.
- If Hashimoto were to reunite with the parents he abandoned in the past, he wouldn't be particularly impressed.
- If Hashimoto had a normal family, he would have lived a fairly normal life.
- Among the SDRA2 cast, Hashimoto hates Sannoji the most. It's also dark...
- If Hashimoto takes private lessons, Hashimoto will mainly teach math. Originally, the main job is trading, so teaching someone is not a long term, but if you give me money... But the cost will be very high.
- If Kagarin makes a deal with Hashimoto, the Kagarin conglomerate is engaged in a space-related company, so they will make a connection to the space business.
- Hashimoto will watch horror movies and gore movies.
- Hashimoto's favorite drink is cheap alcohol. He likes beer.
- The reason Hashimoto will be sad is that he will be sad when there is a deficit.
- Hashimoto would never give a gift to someone else unless it was something like "I'll give you 1 million won so I'll buy that person a 100,000 won(Korean currency) gift and take 900,000 won."
- If Hashimoto met the DRA kids, the characters he would be interested in at least would be the rich and cold-hearted Kinjou or Mekaru.
- Hashimoto eats spicy food normally. Even though it's spicy, it doesn't give much tea.
- Hashimoto's favorite season is summer. It is said that you can save time getting dressed because you only need to wear one or two thin clothes.
- If Hashimoto gets a fan or a stalker, he won't bother as long as he doesn't harm himself. However, if the fan causes damage... He might secretly take care of it.
- Hashimoto likes the color black.
- If Hashimoto is jailed for working as a broker, he's never actually been jailed.
- Hashimoto's cooking skills are only good enough for people to eat. That's a simple thing too.
- Hashimoto is not drunk. It's not that alcohol isn't strong, but when you get drunk, it causes mental or physical damage, so drink so you don't get drunk.
- Hashimoto doesn't particularly wear perfume. It is said that deodorant is sprinkled neatly at important transactions.
- If Hashimoto and Mekaru have an argument, Mekaru also hates to lose, so if she had an argument with Hashimoto, it would be very long. In the end, Hashimoto, who thinks it's a waste of time, will avoid it. Looking at the result, Mekaru would win.
- Between Hashimoto and Mekaru, Mekaru is the smarter when it comes to pure intelligence. Hashimoto has a lot of shortcuts...
- It is a case by case as to who has better calculation skills, Hashimoto or Otori. Even in calculations, each field should be different..
- It is difficult to rank people with high intelligence in Shudannader, and first of all, Kanade, Kagarin, Hashimoto, and Mitsume are geniuses who have far surpassed the level of ordinary people.
- Hashimoto doesn't really shave. He thinks shaving isn't efficient, so he just grows it.
- Hashimoto has no one to call a partner yet. There are several temporary business partners, but basically Hashimoto does not trust others.
- Hashimoto always carries a knife, even if it's not specifically for killing or fighting.
- Hashimoto doesn't always carry a weapon.
Yomiuri Nikkei------------------------------------
- Yomiuri's hairstyle is just cool for no reason.
2.Yomiuri's grades are in the middle rank. 3. Out of all the other characters, Yomiuri seems to be closest to Kinzo.
- Yomiuri isn't that timid.
- You might think that Yomiuri likes Coke through the conversations in Chapters 1 and 2, but since it was discontinued, they showed interest because it felt like a scoop.
- In Chapter 1, Yomiuri and Makunouchi were neither particularly close nor far apart. Since Makunouchi is a celebrity in the boxing world, the interview would have continued.
- When Yomiuri gets very angry, similar to the reaction at the end of the Class Trial in Chapter 1. Basically, he is very good at sarcastically and gently scratching.
- Yomiuri's usual clothing style is plain clothes. I wear it roughly like that.
- Yomiuri's ideal type doesn't really exist. Because he was so busy with work, he would not have even thought about dating.
- Yomiuri's quickness and basic physical strength are neither particularly good nor bad. Exercise is normal, but he doesn’t like it.
- The food Yomiuri likes is fast food, and the food he dislikes is too sweet.
- The reason Yomiuri doesn't have any friends is because he's always busy covering things and hasn't had a chance to make friends.
- If Yomiuri had a normal school life, he would have been able to become friends with other children. However, because of his strong work ethic, he could be criticized.
- Yomiuri doesn't like anything other than interviews.
- Yomiuri doesn't have any dating experience, let alone ordinary friends.
- Yomiuri will be quite obsessed with dating. The interview itself is also a task that requires some obsession...
- If a very large cockroach suddenly appears near Yomiuri, he will not make a fuss, but he will hate it a lot.
- For male characters who are interested in body lotion and skin shampoo, Yomiuri has short hair, so he needs some maintenance.
- Among the Yomiuri outfits, the red fabric inside the jacket is a long red scarf. It was worn like a scarf, but it was only worn without tying it.
- When the Yomiuri is aware of great pain, he does not hold back or make a sound.
- Some of the articles Yomiuri wrote have a high degree of attention under the name of a high school student reporter, so the reliability itself is not very high. Most of them look like they are looking at animals in a zoo. That doesn't mean he doesn't have the ability.
- Maeda is the prettiest when dressed as a woman. Yomiuri might be fine too... Kagarin is muscular, so she's out of style.
Nijue Iroha -------------------------------------------
- The starting point for Nijiue to have a taste for women was when she came across social media newspapers.
- Out of DRA and SDRA2, the ones with the lowest grades are Higa, Nijiue, and Kobashikawa.
- The reason Nijiue hates the gold ring is because the Nijiue family is a rich family, and Nijiue feels skeptical about her own family.
- Nijiue is the weakest female in SDRA2.
- Nijiue, the one with the weakest mentality in SDRA2
- If one of the Void members commits murder, the rest of the members, including Sannoji, take priority over their own lives as long as the class trial is held.
- Nijiue's favorite fruit is an apple.
- Nijiue's grades are at the bottom.
- When eating rice, Nijiue fixes her hair with her hands and eats.
- Nijiue isn't particularly uncomfortable with her hair tied back.
- Ootori is the weakest among DRA, and Hibiki and Nijue are the weakest among SDRA2.
- The fact that Nijiue and Maeda's favorite gifts are almost the same is probably because they both like manga/games, so there's a lot of overlap.
- If Nijiue had been smarter, she would have gotten less swearing, but because of her indecisive personality, she might take swearing as he pleases.
- Sannoji started putting pressure on Nijiue after Chapter 3.
- In SDRA2, the person with the most expressive expression is Nijiue, and the most expressionless person is Sannoji. Literally expressionless other than a mask...
- The character who uses emoticons the most among SDRA2 is Nijiue.
- I think Nijiue's first impression of Hashimoto and the current impression is that he is a bad person.
- The void itself wasn't light enough to play around with, but they must have been close to each other as colleagues.
- In Chapter 1's Sannoji's group chat event, only Nijiue didn't respond, but she left after a while.
- Nijiue carries a lot of sketchbooks. She stores everything she writes in a box.
- Nijiue does not have an account on pixiv or deviantart. Due to the face of the family, she cannot upload her favorite pictures (such as cartoons) on the Internet.
- Nijiue only scribbles in her sketchbook and notebook, and does not disclose the drawings ahe draws.
Shinji Kasai---------------------------------------------
- Among Makunouchi and Kasai, Kasai has the upper hand in strength, but Makunouchi dominates in fighting power.
- Among the SDRA2 cast, the characters who wake up the earliest are Makunouchi, Kasai, and Kabuya.
- Kasai seems to like potatoes.
- Kasai's grades are at the bottom.
- The reason why Kasai doesn't like rings is because the main character, Sora, is a woman and his hands are so big that rings don't fit well.
- The person with the most sense of justice in SDRA2 is Kasai.
- Kasai, who collapsed at the end of Chapter 1, was eventually carried away by Sora and Chiebukuro.
- If the children who are muscle idiots change each other's talents, there will be no big difference since they are sports enthusiasts regardless of their talents and have similar personalities.
- The cast rarely bathe in groups, but often in small groups. (e.g. Maeda and Kasai, Hibiki and Kanade)
- Among the male characters of SDRA2, Kasai has the largest foot size.
- Kasai has a bad sleeping habit.
- Will Kasai ever get a girlfriend? If so, he should be popular with girls who love gap moe.
- Kasai and Maeda saw the weak Maeda in the prologue, and Kasai's hot-blooded soul burned and took care of him, so they naturally became close.
Yoruko Kabuya-------------------------
- Kabuya is said to be closer to bisexual among the three.
- Among the SDRA2 kids, the characters who wake up the earliest are Makunouchi, Kasai, and Kabuya.
- Kabuya likes Sora as a friend. However, Lee Sang-in, a friend, says that he himself is not sure yet.
- Kabuya's grades are in the top ranks.
- If Chiebukuro, Kabuya, and Sora go to nail art together, they say they will each do it in their own image color. (Chiebukuro - sky blue, Sora - transparent (white), Kabuya (hot pink)
- Sora, Kabuya, and Chiebukuro When the three of them eat ramen, Sora and Kabuya add ordinary things like eggs and cheese, but Chiebukuro puts something like Tabasco sauce to make fun of the kids.
- Except for Sannoji, Kabuya is the best cook in SDRA2.
- Are you interested in fashion?
- Kabuya Her hobby is singing. Basically, she sings various genres, but her favorite songs are sweet pop and dance songs.
- Magorobi and Kabuya news
Setsuka Chiebukuro -----------------------------------
- Chiebukuro's grades are in the middle rank.
- When Chiebukuro, Kabuya, and Sora go to nail art together, they said they would each do it in their own image color. (Chiebukuro - sky blue, Sora - transparent (white), Kabuya (hot pink)
- Kasai, who collapsed at the end of Chapter 1, was eventually carried away by Sora and Chiebukuro.
- Sora, Kabuya, and Chiebukuro When the three of them eat ramen, Sora and Kabuya add ordinary things like eggs and cheese, but Chiebukuro puts something like Tabasco sauce to make fun of the kids.
- If Chiebukuro looses her hair, it will come up to her waist.
- Chiebukuro's pros and cons Voice source: Tomatsu Haruka, the C-Sha role in the Hyperdimension Neptunia series Criticism: Nice! Counterargument: I don't know what you're talking about.
- Chiebukuro has the largest foot size among all the female Shudannaders.
- Chiebukuro feels uncomfortable walking around with one eye closed, but forcibly closes it.
Hajime Makunouchi-----------------------------------------
- Among Makunouchi and Kasai, Kasai has the upper hand in strength, but Makunouchi dominates in fighting power.
- Makunouchi is probably mechanical.
- Among the SDRA2 kids, the characters who wake up the earliest are Makunouchi, Kasai, and Kabuya.
- If one of the Void members commits murder, the rest of the members, including Sannoji, take priority over their own lives as long as the class trial is held.
- Makunouchi's grades are at the bottom.
- If Sora had answered Makunouchi or Magorobi’s chat more seriously, they would have committed murder.
- Among DRA and SDRA2, when simply looking at "popularity from the opposite sex", the students who enjoyed the most popularity were SDRA2 and Makunouchi/Magorobi.
- When Kasai shielded Makunouchi during the trial, Makunouchi felt a little guilty but didn't care too much.
- After Makunouchi was revealed to be a void, he said that he had fun for a week and felt like he had made friends.
- If Makunouchi and Sannoji fight, Sannoji wins.
- In Chapter 1, Yomiuri and Makunouchi were neither particularly close nor far apart. Since Makunouchi is a celebrity in the boxing world, the interview would have continued.
- Makunouchi stays away from anything unhealthy (sweets and fast food). He doesnt eat it at all, but he is very reluctant.
- Makunouchi's hair color isn't gradation, it's just blonde. I think it looks like that because it's blonde hair with a very high brightness, so it shines when exposed to light.
- If Makunouchi takes off his sunglasses in a bright place, it doesn't mean that he can't see at all, it's like an aftereffect.
- If you get caught neglecting your health by Makunouchi, there will be a 24-hour full course health lecture video viewing and Makunouchi's close health assistant.
- Makunouchi is not as good as Higa, but he is aware that he has a lot of female fans.
- The reason why Makunouchi tied his hair in a ponytail was because it happened to be long and tied it back. He doesn't tie it because it flutters and gets in the way when he exercise..
- Makunouchi's ideal type is active (lively) and full of health.
- If Makunouchi was murdered, the method of killing would be that Makunouchi's reflexes and physical strength are exceptional, so he would kill him by poison or surprise attack, since normal attacks would be too risky.
- If the children who are muscle idiots change each other's talents, there will be no big difference since they are sports enthusiasts regardless of their talents and have similar personalities.
- Makunouchi suffered from an incurable disease from a young age, so he was always obsessed with health. He hates fast food and has never tried it.
- The reason why I like giving Makunouchi and Maeda a red book in free action is that I didn't put much importance on the symbol of the gift and made it, but there are too many gifts, so most decide on each gift by looking at the character's image, but the red book It's an erotic book itself (some people might not like it), and it has a strong comedic image, so I chose children who would be okay with something pleasant and gag, because that was Maeda and Makunouchi.
- The void itself wasn't light enough to play around with, but they must have been close to each other as colleagues.
- Makunouchi's favorite food is health food, protein, and the food he hates is instant food.
- Makunouchi was originally a slightly delinquent student. He was scouted by the gym leader passing by while fighting each other in the street. From that day on, he changed his mind and devoted himself to sports.
- Makunouchi had to be discharged after recovering from illness, but was moved to a nearby orphanage because there was no guardian. After that, he grew up with a nursery teacher.
- Makunouchi may have resented his parents for abandoning him and Sannoji right before he was punished, but he won't resent that much now that everything is over.
- When Makunouchi drinks alcohol, he's not weak, just like Makunouchi with a healthy body. I'm a high school student, so I shouldn't drink, but there are almost no injections.
- Among the male students, Makunouchi will receive the most chocolate on Valentine's Day. First of all, it is famous in the boxing world and is popular among the public.
- The manga that Makunouchi likes is a step towards the beginning.
- If Makunouchi received chocolate on Valentine's Day, he would respond with "Thank you, chocolate is not good for your health, so I'll just keep it."
- Prologue During the swimming event, Makunouchi was saying something to Kagarin, and at that time, he was talking about admiring Kagarin's body for the first time. Of course, Kagarin slammed it coldly.
- Makunouchi must have been dyed. He probably dyed his hair when he was in bad shape before learning boxing.
- Makunouchi takes off his sunglasses in official matches, of course.
- After being discharged from the hospital, Makunouchi lived in an orphanage. At this time, the pain of being abandoned by his family did not go away, but he must have been happy because he was alive.
- Makunouchi had an unhappy past, so he probably couldn't afford to be in love.
- Makunouchi's AV taste will like the AV of an actor full of physical beauty.
- Makunouchi sleeps wearing only panties.
- Makunouchi dolls that came out after Makunouchi's execution must have been thrown away.
- Makunouchi doesn't have any sleeping habits.
- Makunouchi's private clothes are very open-minded. Even in the middle of winter, He tends to wear it lightly, and he usually wears a shirt or shorts.
- Makunouchi is strong when it comes to taking care of his health if he has a lover. Take care of your partner's health more than your own.
- If Makunouchi had a lover, he would be scolded by his lover a lot for that weak point, since he is basically an athletic idiot and has many indelicate aspects.
- If Makunouchi hadn't killed in Chapter 1, he would have betrayed Sannoji like the fourth void.
- Makunouchi seems to be tone deaf.
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2023.05.25 12:11 FyrestarOmega Lucy Letby Trial, Defense Day 9, 25 May, 2023
Judith Moritz:
https://twitter.com/JudithMoritz/status/1661669878552576000?t=m1Zshsempo9AzsLFKGKZ4w&s=19 Dan O'Donoghue:
https://twitter.com/MrDanDonoghue/status/1661658808270159874?t=TgGKBhbzjFxuQaQHg6ASig&s=19 Sky News:
https://news.sky.com/story/lucy-letby-trial-latest-nurse-accused-of-murdering-babies-giving-evidence-12868375 Chestee Standard:
https://www.chesterstandard.co.uk/news/23545950.live-lucy-letby-trial-may-25---cross-examination-continues/ Chester Standard begins:
Child H, continued. Attempted murder charge #1
Nicholas Johnson KC is continuing to cross-examine Lucy Letby on Child H.
Letby is asked if staffing issues contributed to Child H's collapse. She says "no", but believes the "management of the chest drains" was a contributory factor.
LL: "I believe it has been accepted throughout the trial that there were issues with the chest drains".
Letby said the location of the chest drains on Child H may have been a factor, and that Child H's pneumothoraces were not treated correctly, due to a lack of experience and "nobody seemed particularly confident" on managing the number of chest drains - she says that was down to "multiple" doctors. Asked who those wuold be, Letby said that would include Dr [Ravi] Jayaram, Dr [David] Harkness, Dr [John] Gibbs and "Dr [Alison] Ventress, even".
Letby says she had dealt with chest drains in Liverpool, but not at the Countess of Chester Hospital. She says she did not have much experience, and had a nursing colleague to assist her in the care of Child H.
Sky News:
The court is shown a Facebook message Letby sent to a colleague on 24 September 2015 in which she complained about the unit being unsafe.
The message reads: 'It's completely un safe [angry face emoticon]. Yeah I told [colleague] that & she is going to look into it. I still have to do next Wed day as can't cover it but getting paid as over time for last night. [sic]'
Letby admits she also lacked experience dealing with the chest drains Child H required. She says she had to get assistance from a colleague.
She is then asked about the help her colleague gave her.
"I can't remember every detail and I think it would be unrealistic if I could remember every detail," she tells the court.
Chester Standard:
Letby is asked about the time between 8pm and 2am on September 25-26. She says she cannot recall, specifically, the assistance she had from a nursing colleague that night, but she was there 'on and off', and "gave me a lot of verbal advice that night" in the management of Child H's chest drains, and on baptism after the collapse of Child H.
Mr Johnson reads from Child H's father's statement. He refers to being at the unit until "about midnight", and was woken up from home "in the early hours".
Sky News:
His statement, first heard by the court in January 2023, is now being re-read to the court - it says:
"She was in an incubator and on c-pap to help her breathe...
"On the Friday I had been there late with Child H's grandmother, until about midnight. We had come back to the house and I was awoken by her in the early hours."
The prosecution says this witness statement shows that notes written by Letby at 4.28am "misrepresented the time" of Child H's problems.
Letby's notes say a senior doctor was present - something the prosecution says she has falsified
Chester Standard
Letby's nursing note is shown to the court. It includes: '...x2 chest drains in situ at start of shift - intermittently swinging. Serous fluid++ accumulating.
'2330 Bradycardia and desaturation requiring Neopuff in 100% to recover. 10ml air aspirated from chest drain by Reg Ventress...inserted a 3rd chest drain...'
Mr Johnson says Letby misrepresented the time of this event.
Letby tells the court she would have got that time from her notes written at the time.
An intensive care chart is shown to the court. It includes, for 2200 - '2210 desat...SHO present...serous fluid++ x2 drain'
Letby says she cannot recall which SHO was on duty that night. Mr Johnson says the SHO on duty was Jessica Scott, and she has not recorded a note saying she was present for this.
Another note 'Brady desat 2330 10ml aspirated from...drain...' Other details are '+clear [in the OP row]' and '+small blood stained [in the Suction ET row]'.
Mr Johnson says this is another child producing blood in Letby's care.
Letby says this blood has likely come from the ET Tube in the lungs. She denies moving it around to destabilise Child H.
Letby accepts that a 52% desaturation is a potentially serious event.
She says: "I don't agree" to the suggestion she has "cooked the books" in the nursing notes.
She denies falsifying notes for Child H by giving the impression Child H was deteriorating prior to the collapse.
Letby is asked why the '52% desautation' is not in her nursing note.
"Not every single thing gets written down...that is an error on my part."
Letby says the SHO was present for that earlier desaturation.
Letby denies writing in the intensive care chart after Child H's collapse.
NJ: "You're making this up as you go along, aren't you?"
LL: "No."
Mr Johnson says Child H's father's statement, which was agreed evidence, did not mention a collapse or an SHO being present.
Letby denies lying.
Sky News:
Mr Johnson claims Letby hasn't included the name of the senior doctor present because one wasn't there.
"It's common practice to write SHO or Reg," Letby says, adding that it is something that "all staff would do"
"In your case, it seems to happen when babies collapsed," Mr Johnson says.
"I can't answer that, we are only looking at collapsed babies, we aren't looking at my whole work over four years," Letby replies.
Mr Johnson says Child H's father's statement has "no mention of seeing his baby collapsing" and "no mention of a doctor being there".
He accuses her of lying.
"It's not lies," Letby says.
Chester Standard:
Dr Alison Ventress records a note for Child H, timed 11.50pm. It begins 'Several episodes of desaturation in past 2 hours...1st one after gas taken...became agitated...'
Mr Johnson says Letby told this information to Dr Ventress.
Letby says she did not know if she told her this information, she may have been present in the room.
Dr Ventress adds: 'Further episodes no change in HR recovered with bagging...[oxygen requirement down] to 30% between episodes'.
Letby denies "trying it on" or "falsely creating the impression to Dr Ventress that [Child H] had been having problems for a couple of hours."
LL: "No, I don't agree that it was false."
Mr Johnson says the notes (on the observation chart and Letby's nursing notes) don't match.
Letby agrees it's an "innocent coincidence" (as said by Mr Johnson).
An observation chart for Child H is shown for September 25-26. Letby is asked if the results show any concern up to midnight.
Letby: "This [the observations taken] reflects that specific moment in time" and says that chart shows no concerns, with all readings in the normal range.
Dr Ventress added in her 11.50pm note: '2nd chest drain advanced back in to 4cm as was almost out. Done prior to chest x-ray'. Mr Johnson says this was Dr Ravi Jayaram's x-ray.
Letby is asked why she had not noticed that. Letby says medical staff put drains in and managing them was not part of her nursing role.
She accepts she knew chest drains were more secure when stitched in rather than taped in. She says she was checking the chest drains. She denies removing the chest drain to cause a desaturation just after Child H's father left.
Sky News:
The prosecution claims Letby has falsified the medical notes for Child H after the fact, making it appear as if she was deteriorating before she collapsed in the early hours.
"You were falsely creating the impression to the registrar, your friend, that Child H was a child who had been presenting problems over the proceeding hours," Nick Johnson, the prosecution barrister, says.
Child H's father left around midnight, so the prosecution claim he would have noticed if what was happening in Letby's nursing notes was the reality of the situation.
Letby refutes this.
Child H had chest drains inserted and Letby has previously said their insertion, and how they were secured, may have contributed to the infant's problems, and collapse later that shift.
"Why were you not checking the drains?" Mr Johnson asks.
"I was checking the drains," Letby says.
"Because you removed the drain," Mr Johnson says.
"No," says Letby.
"And that is the reason why Child H desaturated just before midnight just after her father left," Mr Johnson says.
"No," says Letby.
"Because you were sabotaging Child H that night, weren't you?" Mr Johnson says.
"No," says Letby.
Chester Standard:
Mr Johnson asks about Letby's error, as mentioned in her evidence, about the timing of the blood transfusion being completed. Letby said on May 15 the '0200 blood transfusion completed' should be 3am.
Letby says she has "miswritten" it from looking at the charts.
A blood infusion therapy chart is shown, in Letby's writing, which has in the time ended column what appears to be '0205' corrected to '0305'.
NJ: "The same mistake in two different places?"
Letby says she "couldn't say with clarity" adjusting the time after she had written her nursing notes.
NJ: "What happened after 0305?"
LL: "I don't recall."
NJ: "Really?...[Child H] had a cardiac arrest."
Letby is asked "how on earth" she made the 0205 error.
LL: "Because we're human people, we make mistakes."
Letby says the error is "mine" on the nursing notes, but the timings were otherwise accurate.
Letby says she cannot remember Child H's father being present.
The father recalled "mottling running out of her skin towards her fingers".
Letby says she agrees there was mottling on Child H's skin, but not that it was moving.
A blood gas chart for September 26 is shown to the court for Child H.
Letby agrees the reading at 6.44am is a "good" blood gas reading.
Mr Johnson says Child H had had a "miraculous recovery".
Letby: "Yes."
NJ: "Were you pleased?"
LL: "Of course I was pleased."
NJ: "Or were you frustrated that you had failed in your attempt to kill her?
LL: "No."
Child H, Attempted murder charge #2
The second event is being discussed. For the night of September 26-27, Lucy Letby was the designated nurse for two babies in room 2. Nurse Christopher Booth was the designated nurse for Child G in room 2, and Nurse Shelley Tomlins was the designated nurse for Child H in room 1.
Elizabeth Marshall is the designated nurse for four babies in room 3, including Child I.
The court hears a seriously ill baby was brought into the unit during the night.
The court hears Letby, in her evidence to defence on May 15, said she did not have much to do with Child H on the night shift.
Letby said she was reliant on medical notes as she did not recall "with any great detail" that night for Child H.
Dr Matthew Neame was the registrar that night, with Dr Jessica Scott the night SHO.
Letby accepts she had got "confused" in her defence statement between the events of this night and the previous night.
She rules out staffing levels as a contribution in Child H's deterioration.
She says she cannot comment on medical incompetencies as she was not Child H's designated nurse and was not present for much of the shift, and rules out a doctor or nurse making mistake(s).
Letby is asked if she was involved in an event timed 9.15pm for Child H, who had a desaturation and bradycardia. Letby said she did not remember.
Dr Neame, in evidence, said "ETT removed by nursing staff" and that nurse was Letby, alone.
LL: "Well I don't have any recollection of that."
A text is shown from Letby to a colleague at 9.51pm: "'I've been helping Shelley so least still involved but haven't got the responsibility..."
Letby says she "does not agree" she would have removed an ET Tube by herself.
The neonatal schedule shown for 9-10pm shows no duties for Child H for which Letby has been named as the nurse for it.
Letby is asked about what she had been helping Shelley with, as per her text message - she says she had been helping with Child H.
She denies taking an "opportunity" to "sabotage" Child H.
Nurse Shelley Tomlins' note for 9.45pm is shown:
The court is shown nurse Tomlin's notes for that shift, which include: '...around 2030 [Child H] had profound desat and brady, air entry no longer heard and capnography negative therefore ETT removed and Drs crashbleeped. New ETT sited...on second attempt...Copious secretions obtained via ETT and orally, blood stained.'
'2145 - Desaturation to 40% despite good air entry and positive capnography. ETT suctioned quickly with thick blood-stained secretions noted. [Child H] recovered quickly after...'
Letby denies altering Child H's ET Tube to cause bleeding.
Mr Johnson asks if Letby was "bored" with the children she was looking after in room 2 prior to Child H's collapse.
LL: "No."
She denies she had "time on her hands".
At 12.45am on September 27, Letby is recorded as 'liking' a post on Facebook. At 12.46am, she liked a Facebook photo posted by a colleague.
Letby says she may have been on her break at this point.
Mr Johnson says Letby was involved in a fluid balance chart for one of her designated babies around that time. Letby: "Yes, at 1am."
Child H's father's statement is read to the court, in which he said "Quite late on [Saturday, September 26]" he went to rest, and was woken up shortly afterwards and to get to Child H's bedside.
Letby denies using the time the father was away as an "opportunity" to attack Child H.
LL: "No, I've never attacked any child."
Letby says she "couldn't say" if she was covering for Shelley Tomlins at 1am.
An observation chart is shown for Child H for September 26-27. Hourly observations are made between 8pm and 4am, except for 1am.
Crash call bleep data is made at 1.04am and 1.06am for Child H.
Mr Johnson says Dr Neame gave evidence to say when he arrived, Letby was present.
NJ: "Is that right?"
LL: "I can't say, from memory."
NJ: "You were there, weren't you?"
LL: "I can't say exactly where I was, from memory."
Letby denies making an "alibi" at 1am for the fluid balance chart for her designated baby.
LL: "That's me giving cares to the baby I was allocated."
Nurse Shelley Tomlins' record, written at 3.49am, for the 3.30am desaturation: '0330 - profound desaturation to 60s, again requiring neopuffing with no known cause for desat....copious amounts of secretions yielded orally, pink tinged. Small amount of ET secretions gained, again pink tinged. Heart rate mainly nomral during desat. Recovered slowly.'
Letby denies "interfering with [Child H's] ET Tube".
Letby says she is helping Shelley Tomlins after the desaturation.
NJ: "Why is it always you that ends up in nursery room 1?"
LL: "I don't agree it is always me."
Child I, Incident #1
Mr Johnson moves on to the case of Child I.
Letby agrees she remembers Child I "very well".
Mr Johnson says this is "another case where you falsified [her records]."
Letby is asked to look at her defence statement. She said Child I's stomach "bloated...regularly" and "all the nursing staff" were aware of it.
Letby said "nothing was ever done" about the concerns with Child I's bowel. Letby said she was one of those raising concerns, that she "was not getting the treatment she needed".
The defence statement adds Letby did recall one handover, to nurse Bernadette Butterworth, that Child I desaturated and became apnoeic, and she assisted in care thereafter.
Sky News:
Nick Johnson, for the prosecution, is now reading out a statement Letby previously made to the court, in which she said 'I didn't look after Child I a great deal.'
Letby also previously told the court many of the incidents took place while she was off shift.
Chester Standard:
Letby, when asked, rules out staffing levels as a problem that led to Child I's deterioration on September 30.
For September 30, Letby was looking after Child I and two other babies in room 3 on her long day shift.
Letby rules out medical incompetencies or mistakes made by medical staff that led to Child I's collapse on September 30.
Letby is asked to look at Child I's medical records from September 26-29, and observations early on Letby's shift on September 30.
Letby agrees Child I was stable at this time.
A temperature of 36.1C is recorded for Child I at 11am, and the 'hot cot' temperature was turned up.
Letby denies by this time she had "fallen out" with medical colleagues Ashleigh Hudson, Melanie Taylor and one other.
Sky News:
The prosecution claims Letby only liked being in the highest dependency nursery (nursery one).
"I liked being in all of the nurseries," Letby says when asked about this.
Nick Johnson, the prosecution barrister, then asks if she didn't like her new colleague on the unit.
"I don't agree with that," Letby says.
He says Letby had also fallen out with another colleague, who "wouldn't talk to you in the aftermath of [children A & B]."
Chester Standard:
The ward round posted a "positive picture" for Child I on September 30. Letby agrees.
Child I was due her immunisations, as noted on the ward round. Mr Johnson says this positive picture was similar to Child G, when Child G was about to have her immunisations.
Mr Johnson asks what became an obstacle to that. Letby replies it was Child I vomiting and having to be transferred to room 1.
A feeding chart is shown for Child I for September 30. Mum fed and gave cares at 10am. The note is signed by Letby.
At 1pm a 35mls feed was given via the NG Tube which had a 5ml aspirate. Letby says the 5ml aspirate "is a very minimal amount". At 4pm a further 35ml feed is given via the NG Tube. On both occasions Child I was asleep.
At 4.30pm - 'large vomit + apnoea -> N1' [transfer to nursery 1].
Letby is asked about Child I's mother's routine. Letby: "Not specifically..." she adds the mother would visit the unit regulary.
Mr Johnson suggests Letby knew the family so well through the frequent visits that she got to know their routine when they would be in and out of the unit. Letby: "I don't agree."
Dr Lisa Beebe's note showed she was asked to review Child I due to a low temperature.
The note adds: '...mum reports [low] temperature has been happening over past few days'.
The note concludes: '...monitor closely, if further concerns for sepsis, screen but appears clinically well at present'.
Letby says she does not recall the conversation. She does not recall, as the prosecution suggests, telling the doctor one concern[low temperature] and the mother another [abdomen].
She denies "providing a cover", and says she did "monitor her [Child I] closely", as noted on the doctor's plan.
Letby says she first monitored Child I's vital signs at 3pm. She said the concern raised with the doctor was Child I having a low temperature, and she had adjusted that by raising the hot cot temperature.
Mr Johnson suggests that "monitor closely" would mean more observations. Letby: "I disagree."
Letby is asked how long the 1pm 35ml feed with thickener, as listed on the chart, would take to administer. She agrees it would take "roughly" 15 minutes.
Letby's nursing note, written at 1.36pm is shown to the court: '...3x8 feeds ebm, 2bottles to 1NG Tube. abdomen appears full and slightly distended, soft to touch [Child I] straining++. Bowels have been opened. Mum feels it is more distended to yesterday and that [Child I] is quiet. Appears generally pale...Drs asked to review - to continue with current plan'
Letby says: "We monitor all our babies closely" in response to why Dr Beebe had said 'monitor closely' instead of 'do what you normally do'.
Mr Johnson: "This is yet another example of you writing nursing notes for something that didn't happen."
LL: "I don't agree."
Letby denies "cooking the notes" to show Child I was deteriorating prior to her collapse.
Prosecutor Nicholas Johnson KC is continuing to cross-examine Lucy Letby on the case of Child I.
An observation chart for Child I is shown for September 30. Hourly observations are made for 10am-1pm, and 3pm to the rest of the day.
Letby says there is "no reason" why the 2pm observation is not made.
Letby is asked which 'doctors' reviewed Child I at 3pm. Letby names one doctor and believes it was one doctor reviewed.
Mr Johnson says there is no medical note in relation to this.
Letby denies "making it up".
Mr Johnson asks Letby why the 'bottle-bottle-NGT' feed system is interrupted by 'bottle-NGT-NGT'.
Letby says the 4pm, 2nd NGT feed was as Child I was asleep.
Letby denies "lyingly" recording notes for when Child I had bowel movements during the day.
Mr Johnson says a doctor's notes do not note a prior examination. Letby denies making up the examination in her notes. She adds: "Just because it's [not there] doesn't mean it [didn't take place]."
Mr Johnson says Letby is "very keen" to raise doctor's mistakes with the likes of Dr Harkness and Dr Gibbs, but not in this case.
LL: "I don't believe this was noted at the time, my priority was [Child I], not medical notes."
NJ: "You force fed [Child I] didn't you?"
LL: "No, I didn't."
Letby says Child I did not wake for that feed, so an NGT feed was given as "standard practice".
Mr Johnson says "despite all the positive signs" for Child I, she vomited, just like Child G, and in both cases, Letby was there.
Letby says she does not recall if she was there when Child I vomited.
A medical report said Child I: "There is splinting of the diaphragm due to bowel distention..."
Letby denies "pumping" Child I full of milk or air.
Letby: "I fed [Child I] the normal dose of milk for her feed."
A blood gas chart for Child I is shown - the chart had not been noted up by Letby and it was found on a clipboard. It was signed by Bernadette Butterworth for Letby.
Letby says the chart was "not hidden - it was there for anyone to see."
Mr Johnson talks about the 7.30pm event for Child I.
Letby's notes add: 'At 1930 [Child I] became apnoeic, - abdomen distended++ and firm. Bradycardia and desaturation followed, SHO in attendance and registrar crash called....'Air++ aspirated from NG Tube...[Child I] is now very pale and quiet'.
Letby denies forcing air into Child I.
Observations for Child I in the remainder of September 30 are shown to the court.
Bernadette Butterworth's nursing note: 'During handover [Child I] abdo had become more distended and hard she had become apnoeic and bradycardiac and sats had dropped. IPPV given and despite a good seal with Neopuff there was still no chest movement, aspirated NGT air +++ and 2mls of milk obtained, eventually got chest movement and sats and heart rate normalised...'
Child I, event #2
Mr Johnson talks about the second event for Child I, which was on the night of October 12-13, when Letby said she was standing in the doorway when she could see Child I looked pale, and the lights were turned up.
Letby says the lighting was on in that room so Child I could be seen prior to the lights being turned up.
Letby is asked to look at her defence statement. She recalls Ashleigh Hudson was "quite inexperienced" to be looking after Child I.
Letby said Child I required "very close monitoring", and adds that, "looking back", Ashleigh had stopped monitoring her when she should have been.
Asked to explain where that instruction to monitor Child I came from, Letby says it was policy that Child I should have been monitored as she had come off antibiotics some time in the previous 48 hours.
Letby adds: "I'm not saying Ashleigh made a mistake."
The judge seeks clarification on 'monitoring'. Letby says it includes monitoring observations if a baby is on a monitor, but otherwise involves keeping an eye, regularly, on the baby.
Mr Johnson says there had been at least 48 hours since Child I had gone off antibiotics before the event occurred.
Letby is asked in what way Ashleigh Hudson was inexperienced.
LL: "I don't think Ashleigh had a lot of experience in recognising changes in babies, potentially."
Letby says the more experience you have, the more you can detect changes, such as changes in colour, in a baby.
Letby tells the court she does not recall a reason why she went into room 2 with Ashleigh Hudson.
In her defence statement, Letby said as they entered the room, they turned the light up on the light dimmer switch, and she saw Child I looking pale, and they went to assist. Child I was "gasping" and the alarm had not gone off.
Letby rules out staffing levels, medical incompetencies or staffing mistakes as a cause of Child I's desaturation on October 12-13.
A nursing shift rota is shown for October 12-13, with Lucy Letby in room 1, designated nurse for one baby. Ashleigh Hudson was designated nurse for three babies in room 2, including Child G and Child I.
Letby repeats there was no issue with staffing ratios to babies cared for, for that night.
Letby agrees with the evidence Ashleigh Hudson said that Child I was doing well - "prospering", and that the level of care had been scaled back.
Before the collapse, Child I was in air and on bottle feeds.
Letby says she has "no memory" if Ashleigh Hudson, as said in evidence, left room 2 to help colleague Laura Eagles in room 1.
Letby says she had a baby in room 1, and cannot recall who was to look after nursery 2.
In evidence, she said she was not the nurse called to room 2.
She tells she would have remembered having to hand over care of her baby and look after three babies in room 2.
Letby said "very quickly", she had noticed and saw Child I was pale.
Letby is asked why she was at room 2. She replies there was "nothing sinister" about that, that she had been in a chat with a colleague.
NJ: "The lights were off, weren't they?"
LL: "I can't say."
Letby is asked to look at her police interview.
In it, she says she had taken over Child I's care as Ashleigh Hudson had been "quite junior". For the observation of Child I, she replied the lights were off at night, and then they put the lights on, adding she could see Child I and: "I noticed that she was pale in the cot."
Letby, asked why she had told the jury the lights were "never off", says the lights are "never off completely", they are turned up.
A second police interview has Letby: "We put the light on - the lights aren't on in the nursery at night."
Asked why she did not refer to a dimmer switch in her police interview, Letby says: "I don't know."
NJ: "Are to trying to massage the evidence by [now] saying the lights were on low?"
LL: "No."
NJ: "What effect does going from a bright corridor [looking into] a [dark/dimly lit] room have?"
LL: "I don't know.
NJ: "You really don't know?"
LL: "No."
NJ: "Everybody knows, don't they?"
Letby says: "You wouldn't be able to see as well."
Mr Johnson says Letby was able to see "straight away" as she had caused Child I's deterioration.
LL: "No."
{The photo of the cot, as shown previously, is displayed.](https://www.chesterstandard.co.uk/resources/images/16400235.jpg?type=mds-article-642)
NJ: "Do you agree it is accurate?"
LL: "No...there would be more light visible. The cot would potentially be nearer to the light.
LL: "I think it was nearer to the workbench than that."
Mr Johnson asks how big Child I's hands would be - Letby says they would be small.
Mr Johnson says Child I would be almost entirely obscured.
LL: "Just her hands and her face."
NJ: "Which would be covered by that tentlike structure."
LL: "Not entirely no."
Mr Johnson asks how Letby could spot something Ashleigh Hudson could not, as mentioned from her police interview.
LL: "I had more experience so I knew what I was looking for - at."
NJ: "What do you mean looking 'for'?"
LL: "I don't mean it like that - I'm finding it hard to concentrate."
The judge, Mr Justice James Goss, says it "has been a long day" and the trial is adjourned for today.
From Sky News:
The court is being shown an image of nursery two in a state of almost total darkness.
Nick Johnson, the prosecution barrister, asks if this is an accurate representation of what it was like on 12/13 October, when Letby is alleged to have attacked Child I.
"No," says Letby.
The cot has a tent-like structure over it - Letby says this is to "minimise bright light" to the baby.
"There is almost nothing to see," Mr Johnson says.
"Just her hands and face," Letby replies.
"Which could have been covered by that tent-like structure," Mr Johnson says,
"Not entirely no," says Letby.
She refutes what a colleague previously said - the colleague said people "can't see anything" from that doorway.
'Maybe I spotted something that XX wasn't able to spot. The rooms are never that dark that you can't see the baby at all,' Letby previously said in a police interview.
She now says she had more experience "so knew what I was looking for".
"What do you mean by that," Mr Johnson asks.
There is silence as Letby refuses to answer the question.
Letby then says she is finding it "quite hard to concentrate on all of the dates".
The judge then concludes proceedings early, "having observed the witness" he says it has been a "long day" for Letby.
The next court day scheduled will be for Tuesday, May 30.
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2023.03.13 13:16 eFHung Porter Robinson The Nurture Live Asia Tour 2023 Taipei Live Report
| https://preview.redd.it/0kd2deszmina1.jpg?width=1652&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b2fe1f35b0c12f7b6d6771cb17fd6e3544456ef3 March 11, 2023 was a meaningful night for electronic music and otaku fans in Taiwan: Porter Robinson, the American electronic musician, known for producing anime hit "Shelter" and the League of Legends game theme "Everything Goes On", is coming to Taipei for "Porter Robinson The Nurture Live Asia Tour 2023 Taipei". "Live Nation Taiwan" chose "Legacy Taipei" in Huashan 1914 Creative Park, Taiwan as the venue for the concert. Thousands of audience members crowded into the venue. After three years of being unable to travel due to the COVID-19 pandemic and not having foreign musicians come to Taiwan, we finally got to not only listen to Porter through the internet, but also witness how he would perform his hit songs such as "Musician," "Sad Machine," "Flicker," and more with our own eyes. Porter Robinson's live concert surpassed expectations and was incredibly exciting. He performed a total of 20 songs, turning the venue into a nightclub at times and a sound experiment lab at others. Not only were the fans going crazy, but Porter himself seemed surprised by the audience's reaction. "This is maybe third times ever in Taiwan. I felt this place is so incredibly full of life, so much creativity, and so much beauty. I felt so incredibly inspired just being here..." Porter said in MC time: "Be able to come here and play a live show, and play only my own music! and everybody know all the words! just your support, everything means so so much to me!" "I'll be counting down the days to come back here! Thank you everybody!" The Taiwanese fans were able to sing along to every song of Porter's, creating emotional moments where both he and the fans sang together for hits like "Something Comforting", "Shelter", "Everything Goes On", and "Musician". The Taiwanese fans were able to adjust themselves naturally to the important quiet moments and wild celebrations alike. During "Mirror" there were dynamic transitions, and Porter even played the role of a music teacher, teaching the audience how to sing "Do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-do". There were countless interactions, such as during the performance of "Look At The Sky", where a Taiwanese fan made a Porter meme holding board, and handed it to Porter himself! Porter even invited the Taiwanese fans to play the classic melody of "Sad Machine" with a sound effects pad . Before performing "Language", Porter conducted a live survey and found out that almost everyone in the audience had been a fan of his for over three years. Standing on the stage, Porter repeatedly showed a face of genuine surprise, and during the MC time, he announced that he would return to Taiwan for a concert. After the show, he spent an extremely long time signing autographs and chatting with his waiting fans. This concert was so amazing, and we really wish you could have been there. If you missed it, besides checking out the clip videos in the comment section on Facebook, we will also analyze the song list of "Porter Robinson The Nurture Live Asia Tour 2023 Taipei" with you, so that we can immerse ourselves in the sincere and moving music of Porter Robinson. 【=◈︿◈=】 Porter Robinson The Nurture Live Asia Tour 2023 SetList Taipei, Taiwan @ Legacy Taipei Lifelike / Intro Something Comforting Look At The Sky Everything Goes On - Mirror Sad Machine Do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-do - Trying To Feel Alive Wind Tempos - Musician Musician Pt 2 Easy / House Flicker The Thrill / SoV - Flicker Ezclap Language Unfold - Get Your Wish ———— Shelter (Goodbye To A World) 【=◈︿◈=】 【 Tr.1 Lifelike / Intro 】 "Lifelike" is the first song of Porter's tour promoting his album "Nurture". When Porter released "Nurture", he wrote a tweet saying that he wanted to open the journey of the album for everyone in the simplest way possible, by using "sample music" and piano sounds. At the beginning of the concert, piano keys were projected onto the stage while Porter appeared playing the piano, and he sampled the phrase "It's so holy" repeatedly - this is Porter's fiancee Rika's favorite sample, and it's also the main sample of "Wind Tempos". This opening seemed like Porter was declaring that this concert would give the audience a gift filled with the details of his beloved life. 【 Tr.2 Something Comforting 】 "Something Comforting" is the starting point of Porter's creation of the album "Nurture," and it conveys Porter's pain and confusion in the process of creating the song. The day when "Something Comforting" was originally written was during Porter's creative low point from 2015 to 2016. Years later, Porter wrote in the lyrics: "Getting made you want more, And hoping made you hurt more...Take what you want, But you're tied by the tooth," Expressing the feelings of every creator and every person struggling to move forward. Hearing Porter sincerely sing the lyrics of "Something Comforting" at the concert was a kind of relief - especially when Porter led the audience to sing together: "someone tell me, something comforting." The booming sound of the music seemed to tell the live audience that the music that connects us is what comforts us. 【 Tr.3 Look At The Sky 】 "Look At The Sky" has always been a must-sing song at Porter's concerts. In the LATS music video, Porter shared his belief that "creation" is essentially a beautiful gift born from interaction, collaboration, and sharing among millions of people, which can contribute more beauty to the world and often have a longer-lasting and wider impact than our own lives. To convey this sense of "sharing," Porter always interacts with the audience during the performance of "Look At The Sky." During the Taiwan concert, Porter surprised the audience by walking down to receive a Porter Meme fan-made board (featuring Porter's funny face trio) from a Taiwanese fan. He laughed and sang along with the meme holding board: "Something must have changed in me. I don't fear it anymore. Now I'm sure." Porter then directed the audience to sing along with him: "Look at the sky, I'm still here. I'll be alive next year. I can make something good, oh- Something good." "Everybody Jump!" With Porter's shout, the lively arrangement of "Look At The Sky" Live ver. engulfed the entire concert venue in a frenzy. 【 Tr.4 Everything Goes On 】 No fan can resist the excitement of Porter performing the hit League of Legends theme song "Everything Goes On". But Porter went beyond fans' expectations with his sincerity. He brought out his guitar and opened the performance of the popular song with his acoustic chords, inviting fans to sing along. Amid cheers, the original song and Porter's voice, along with the dazzling music video, ignited the atmosphere at the concert. Fans sang along in unison throughout the song, until the two League of Legends champions, Kai'Sa and Xayah, appeared on the screen, ending the emotional song on a high note. 【MC】 After performing "Everything Goes On", Porter shared a secret during the first MC session: "I actually started playing guitar so I could write this song. (referring to his live guitar performance) It's the result of six months of practice, and you guys singing along with me has helped me so much." "I have so much to say to Taipei, Best Time Here!" Porter said, but he chose to express it through his music instead. 【 Tr.5 Mirror 】 "Mirror" is a seemingly quiet song on the album, but the live version is full of energy. Porter used a vocoder to interpret the entire song, singing with a choked voice as if he had dug out the innermost thoughts: "A better song could fix my problems"? NO!" "Mirror" depicts the moments of self-doubt in Porter's life. As mentioned earlier, he experienced a creative slump and even suffered from depression from 2015 to 2016. "Mirror" is Porter's way of facing his mental struggles and how he overcame self-doubt. During the performance, Porter constantly changes his gestures, allowing the audience to follow the rhythm of the lyrics: "And I know you'll say how I'm a burden. Yeah, do your worst, all at once. I know what you want from me." At the end of such a melancholic lyrics, Porter directs the fans in the audience to sing along: "I know what you're thinking"----"And it's not the voice of all the others. You've only said it to yourself." The fans' response and chorus to Porter seemed to show how he has emerged from depression: When people can realize that all the criticisms in their minds actually come from self-doubt within themselves, and the real world has countless others to encourage and support each other, this is the best way to heal depression. At the interlude of "Mirror" bridge, the electronic visual and lighting effects were linked all the way to the final chorus, making the concert venue immerse in dance floor frenzy. Porter sang uncontrollably and even pushed over the microphone stand. To be honest, I cannot remember how the whole song ended because "Mirror" has always been the favorite song on "Nurture". The lyrics are too realistic and straight to the point. I never thought I could hear Porter singing it live. The entire performance process of the song was tearful, just like Porter's excitement. 【 Tr.6 Sad Machine 】 At the end of the song "Mirror," an electronic female voice concludes the entire song and says a line: "A voice speaks to us...singing countless beautiful and sad things." At this moment, Porter took out his sound effects pad and played the opening melody of the classic song "Sad Machine." The selling point of this Asian tour concert is that Porter randomly invited one fan from the audience to play the pad and play the classic melody. It was worth celebrating that a Taiwanese fan successfully played the classic melody in one attempt. Porter even invited the audience to sing together and called for the VOCALOID "Avanna" to come out: "Is Anyone There?" "Sad Machine" kicked off amidst cheers and applause from the fans. The first verse was led by the audience, allowing Porter to smile and complete the chorus: "She depends on you, she depends on you." This song about the relationship between humans and robots becomes more humane in the concert version. At the end, Porter played the piano again and sang solo, leading the fans to sing together and ending the entire song in a gentle house music arrangement: "She'll go alone, and never speak of this again. We depend on you, we depend (I depend) on you." 【 Tr.7 Do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-do 】 The lighthearted songs on the album provide a moment of relaxation during the concert. However, Porter Robinson had no intention of letting the audience off the hook. He took on the role of a music teacher and conducted the fans in singing the chorus: "Do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-do." The Taiwanese fans did not disappoint the teacher and sang earnestly for two rounds. The teacher was clearly pleased with our performance. 【 Tr.8 Trying To Feel Alive 】 This gentle ballad is the last song Porter wrote for the "Nurture" album, and it's also the song he struggled with during his creative low point. The lyrics go: "And do you feel better now? I thought I'd run until the sky came out. And with the sunlight on my face. Something changed." During the concert, Porter sang each word carefully as if confessing to the audience. The fans responded with a wave of their hands that swayed throughout the entire venue, allowing Porter to give them back a heart gesture as they welcomed the answer Porter gave to himself and to them in the song: "Just trying to feel alive. Maybe I don't really want to be satisfied. Maybe it's a gift that I couldn't recognize. Maybe this is all." 【 Tr.9 Wind Tempos 】 Continuing from the warmth of the previous song, Porter turns up the heat and showcases the art of sound for the audience with "Wind Tempos". This song is a work of art created by Porter using his favorite samples and harmonizing them into environmental music. Many of the song's inspirations came from Porter's visit with his favorite Japanese musician, 高木正勝 (Masakatsu Takagi) , where they played toy pianos together. Porter incorporated the recording fragments from that time into the song, "like a sealed love letter," as he once tweeted. Live at the concert, it feels like returning to that warm and cozy moment, with the audience immersed in the harmony of light and sound. Every sound and melody seems randomly arranged but orderly, combined with the visual block changes of the music video on the screen. Porter's singing voice flows through the audience's consciousness like a breeze, as if they are truly in a natural forest of sound and color. The cluttered sounds are briefly converged in Porter's solo piano playing, bringing out the song's sung sample -- "it's so holy. oh, I'll dream of you," which is Porter's fiance Rika's favorite sample slice. This truly conveys how Porter created a dreamlike and ethereal musical sacred realm in just five minutes at Legacy. After the divine moment, Porter brings out the rave dance beat, instantly immersing the audience in a singing and dancing mood. The VJ's designed lighting effects turn the entire Legacy into a dance floor. The song not only showcases Porter's soulful monologue but also cleverly uses popular elements to interact with the audience and let them truly experience the song's deep meaning. 【 Tr.10 Musician 】 "Musician" is a significant lead single from the album "Nurture", and also a semi-autobiographical song by Porter Robinson - the lyrics are filled with how Porter embarked on the path of a musician without hesitation. At the concert, Porter seemed to be pulling the audience into his life as a musician. A large Google 3D map appeared on the screen, taking everyone on a journey from Earth to Asia, aiming for Taiwan, and landing on the coordinates of Legacy Taipei. Porter shouted: "Taiwan!! Jump! Jump! Jump!" The fans were instantly filled with enthusiasm, even the gasps of Porter's breathless moments had the audience singing along. Porter also enthusiastically led the audience, shouting: "Let's Go! Singing!" Like the theme of the song "Musician," Porter used his singing to express the pain and joy of being a musician throughout the entire concert. Holding a conductor's baton, he pointed to the huge lyrics on the screen: "How do you do music? (Well, it's easy.) - face your fears
- become your heroes"
Porter continued to lead the audience in singing and talked with them in numerous sections. For example, when he sang "isn't it time that you grow up?" Porter looked at everyone with widened eyes and said, "Never!" At the end of the song, Porter approached the edge of the stage and led everyone in singing "Burn out! Burn out!" As an artist, Porter truly set everyone's soul on fire. 【 Tr.11 Musician Pt 2 】 Continuing the bright spirit of "Musician," Porter once again brings a feast for the senses with his exceptional music production and sound design in the music video, not just to continue the joy but also to introduce the next song. 【 Tr.12 Easy / House Flicker 】 "Easy" is a famous electronic dance song created by Porter and his creative partner Mat Zo ten years ago. The cute monster in the music video at the time has now transformed into a cute blue monster, swimming in the electronic universe space on the concert screen. Throughout the song, Porter utilizes a lot of electronic music's drop/kick techniques, even mixing in "Flicker's" slicing, which immerses the audience in the frenzy of the sound waves. 【 Tr.13 The Thrill / SoV 】 "The Thrill (Porter Robinson Remix)" is a well-known song by the British electronic music group "NERO" remixed by Porter Robinson in his early career. Now performed at concerts, it incorporates a segment from Porter's debut album "World" lead single "Sea of Voices". During the concert, Porter mixed several arrangements into this segment alone, allowing the audience to experience the ever-changing heartbeat of a DJ's performance. The arrangement alternates between being wild and expressive and being lyrical and sublime, with all the sonic changes performed by Porter live on stage. As Porter hits the final beat of the drum, he concludes the high-energy performance, followed by a rendition of "Divinity", another emotional song from his "World" album, singing: "We will wait for this. Lean into my side, never felt alive. Call the chance and sigh." 【MC】 During the MC segment, Porter sat at the piano and shared his feelings about coming to Taiwan for the third time with sincere words to the audience: "I think this is maybe... third times ever in Taiwan? I didn't know to expect ... so many things is inspired me today, going around the city, I felt the... this place is so incredibly full of life, so much creativity, and so much beauty. I felt so incredibly inspired just being here." During a pause in Porter's speech, an audience member shouted, "You inspire us!" which made Porter laugh. He continued: "Everyone is so stylish, and so much art here, and so much creativity... I want to spend so much more time here!" "And top of that, I just wanna say, I basically, more or less play DJ sets here, so for me, be able to come here, and play a live show, and play only my own music! and everybody know all the words... just your support, everything means so so much to me!" "And now, soon is the show end, I'll be counting down the days to come back here! ... Thank you everybody!" 【 Tr.14 Flicker 】 Amidst the cheers of fans, Porter brought his famous song "Flicker," which is inspired by the structure of "touring" with constantly changing musical styles, and features a cute and relaxed arrangement inspired by Daft Punk. It can be said that it is a must-play track for Porter's tour performances. Throughout the song, there are repeated phrases in seemingly meaningless Japanese: "私はちょうど何が重要か" (watashi wa choudo nani ga juuyou ka), which is Porter's own creation of Japanese-style lyrics. The meaning of the phrase is "I'm just trying to find what is important to me," as if expressing the significance of Porter's touring performances. 【 Tr.15 Ezclap 】 This is a performance song that only appears in Porter's concerts. The live performance is accompanied by colorful light projections and countless emoticons "=◈︿◈=" flying across the screen, which seem to correspond to the music notes of Porter's exuberant music waves, like in a music game. 【 Tr.16 Language 】 Before playing his next song, Porter called out to the microphone and asked for a quick survey: "Who here, heard my music first time in the last three years? Please raise your hand." Smiling towards the distant audience, he said, " -- Hi! Welcome!" "What about like... from the time like 'World' album? " As soon as Porter finished speaking, the crowd erupted in cheers, causing him to laugh and say, " -- Thanks!" "OK, is anybody here knew me frome the time before like... 'Spitfire'? hey!" Before Porter could finish speaking, he saw several passionate listeners raising their hands, and he couldn't help but say, " -- Respect!" "I'm take you back to 11 or 12 years ago... is anybody listen back the time like "Say My Name"?" The shouts from the audience made Potter laugh and say, "Wow, shout out all of my thirteen-year-old here!" "I just want to say this next song, is song I made 12 years ago, and I never compredict it would take me ... It's my first really melodic song. I think it change everything for me. What was that? What is called?" The excited fans in the audience shouted out the song's name, making Potter nod with a smile. "This is song called 'Language'." This song, full of commemorative significance, is accompanied by countless waves, natural scenery, and sky in the music video, giving the audience a broad sense of the lively "musical language" of Potter in the club, experiencing the unchanged emotions for the past thirteen years. "Let the waves of time and space surround me... Let me float back to the place you found me. I'll be okay." 【 Tr.17 Unfold 】 Following "Language," Porter chose to sing "Unfold," the two songs reflecting Porter's past and future ten years. Porter has also mentioned in interviews that "Unfold," included in his second album "Nurture," is a callback to his debut album "World." "'Cause I'm not the same as I was. As I shoulder the weight of the world. And I watched the water unfold. It's a feeling I want you to know." Porter sang this heartfelt lyric to the audience, as if telling them how he has transformed over the past decade of his music career. 【 Tr.18 Get Your Wish 】 As he reached the last scheduled song of the concert, Porter knelt on the floor, and amidst the flashing lights and sound effects, he unexpectedly picked up two bottles of water and drenched his whole body. He then stood in front of a giant screen projecting the gate of the sky and sang "Get Your Wish" - "Get Your Wish" expresses Porter's struggles in his creative and performing career. The entire song is very sincere, and as the chorus hits, countless water and fire explosions burst behind Porter: "So tell me how it felt when you walked on water. Did you get your wish?" "Get Your Wish" was created by Porter between the time he became popular and experienced a creative low: Porter was already a world-renowned musician at the time, but he always found it difficult to create satisfactory works. There was even a moment when there was no musical achievement that made Porter happy. However, in the long process of creation, Porter realized that the meaning of music for him was not "to achieve fame and success", but the best way to "capture the beauty and possibilities of the world." Being able to create a work that satisfies him does not mean "writing a good song to solve a problem," but rather "honestly expressing everything to move the audience." At the concert, Porter conveyed his message more concretely between the songs. Kneeling on the ground during the interlude, he crawled closer to the audience, then slowly stood up and sang words of encouragement to himself and his fans: "'cause that's your role: the work that stirred your soul..." "But don't you waste the suffering you've faced. It will serve you in due time." At the end of the song, Porter looked at the audience and signaled for them to sing the last two lines of the chorus together: "Idol, Idol," as if revealing how he explained his relationship with the audience and music. It is both the relationship between the idol and the fans, and Porter expressing himself as a performer, knowing that he carries the scrutiny of others, and pledging that creating is his most honest moment. 【 Encore.1 Shelter 】 At the end of the scheduled concert, everyone called for Porter, knowing that the most important song had not yet been played and that the night was far from over. There was nothing more touching than the live performance of "Shelter" with thousands of people singing together, and no words could describe it. As the MV for "Shelter" played on the screen, every member of the audience waved their hands vigorously and sang the lyrics together in unison, as if saying to Porter: "Your music is our shelter." 【 Encore.2 Goodbye To A World 】 This song, which was not listed on the setlist, is the last song on Porter's first album "Worlds" and it was a quiet moment dedicated to the Asian tour audience: "Thank you, I'll say goodbye now. Though it's the end of the world, don't blame yourself. And if it's true, I will surround you and give life to a world. That's our own." The screen displayed the subtitle "EVERYTHING WE NEED IS ALREADY HERE" and everything ended perfectly, bringing the concert to a close. 【=◈︿◈=】 "Porter Robinson" is definitely not a mainstream artist in Taiwan, but his Taiwanese fans are often his old fans, and most people who like Porter are those who have never left after listening to his music. What's even more interesting is that Porter Robinson's audience tends to be polarized: on one side are trendy men and women who love trendy and electronic dance music, and on the other side are otaku who love anime culture. These two sides of the audience are so polarized in Taiwanese society, but at Porter's concert, all frequencies are harmonious, and everyone is laughing and crying in Porter's sincere music. As an otaku, I had only experienced Porter's music through the online concert "Secret Sky" in the past, and impression of Porter's music was limited to "computer music." However, during this Asian tour, Porter not only showed the audience how a truly successful electronic musician combines visual and auditory elements to move the soul, but also revealed that Porter's success is not simply due to writing a few famous dance songs. The reason why Porter's fans are so loyal is simply because he treats music, performance, fans, and anything connected to him with such sincerity. The memories of Porter's concert that night must have been deeply imprinted in the minds of the fans who were present, and have left different meanings in each person's heart. The most remarkable aspect of music is that a song not only carries the thoughts of the musician, but also overloads the longing of every fan. The memories of Porter Robinson in your heart are definitely unique and meaningful, precisely because we all witnessed Porter Robinson's overflowing talent and unparalleled sincerity on this night. In conclusion of this report, I would like to borrow the dialogue between Porter and the Taiwanese fans during the concert - when Porter mentioned how many of Taiwan's landscapes touched his heart, the Taiwanese fans loudly answered: "You inspire us!" Thank you, Porter Robinson. For such a beautiful night that touched our lives. submitted by eFHung to porterrobinson [link] [comments] |
2022.08.25 09:21 Expensive-Two-3459 The Millennial Paradox
TL;DR: We are prolific about discussing our exploits or documenting our digital selves, and yet at great unease about revealing our emotional selves.
As a generational millennial, I feel we stand at the fulcrum of two worlds- one that was acquainted with more tactile forms of communication, and one that is sentient and well-aware of the digital world of hypoconnectivity. I remember some of us had pen-pals when we were adolescents or young adults, (mostly school friends whom we'd refashion as pen-pals during the excitingly languid summer hols). The act of writing a letter to a dear one was both an adventure and an often un-self-conscious act of writing the self onto a material medium that would be read and received by another. The practice of listening to music on audio cassettes was something most of us were acquainted with in the early 1990s, though it entered domestic spaces much earlier. The much-thumbed rewind and forward buttons were testaments to how patience and time were circumstantially proportional. And of course, the beauty of cable television was something most millennials would have nostalgic wet-dreams about when compared to the inane content that is dumped on cable television and OTT platforms now.
And yet we were a generation that remembers the flourish of computer training centers like the NIIT, Webel, and several others. I remember how my mother in the mid-1990s decided she wanted to acquaint herself with the computer and enrolled herself in NIIT's Swift Jyoti course. She was a quick learner and learned how to go about the maze of MS Office and Photoshop. I think she was almost tempted to learn JAVA and C+++ programs, but I cannot seem to remember why she decided otherwise. My first email address was in fact created by my mother, a Hotmail account if I remember correctly. Life was moving fast, but at a pace, most of us were comfortable with. We knew the Telecom industry was changing rapidly, but at a pace, we were comfortable with. Email and the world of email forwards preceded that of the whirling world of WhatsApp memes and gifs. Social media like Orkut and Myspace and chatrooms on Yahoo and Rediff pre-dated what we have now in Facebook, Instagram and to some extent Reddit. But why am I digressing?
The Millennial Generation remembers what the word 'Social' meant before the advent of Social Media. I wouldn't be wrong to consider that we were able to express our emotive selves without an emoticon/emoji. Yet, here we are, flaunting our nostalgia for the past and happily exhibiting our digital selves which may not always reflect our emotional selves. We are however quite expressive of our intellectual selves on the digital medium- what thoughts we have, what books we read (or pose to read), and what political ideologies we'd align with. I do notice, however, that social media does encourage a new wave of Yuppies and Lotus Eaters. The same breed of Liberal Leftists who'd be happy to associate their digital selves to a petition to decry Nestle or sign a change.org petition would often be caught with a purchase in that unmissable brown paper Zara bag- despite their unethical sweatshop-driven workforce.
However profligate and ill-conceived our choices can be, casting aside our convenient and opportunistic use of socialism, most Millennials like several others before and after their generation are painfully shy when it comes to being honest and naked about their emotional selves on social media. And this is not a generational thing. It is a societal condition. We are taught how to grieve the end of life, but not we aren't trained to cope with the death of a relationship. There are rites of passage, involving a period of mourning, replete with adequate rituals customized to acclimatize the self to the loss of kin. We are however not equipped with the savoir-faire to grieve the end of a relationship. Why the shame when a friendship or a relationship ends? To me, despite the amorphous and abstract nature of emotions, the experience of a relationship is a visceral one- one that embodies hope, promise, and possibility. The emotion of bonding and connecting is deeply sensory, and one that requires the investment of labor and time. When an affaire de cœur concludes, leaving nothing but a wisp of "what ifs" and endless sighs, how does one process the vestiges of charred hopes and shards of broken, unfulfilled promises? As young adults, we are cautioned not to succumb to the fleeting emotion of love and passion, often enveloped in the cascade of hormones. But why haven't we addressed the malaise that follows a broken heart? Are we a society still shy of the rapture of love and more abhorrent of the rupture of relationships? Why are we not taught how to process this grief as we are trained to float the ashes of the cremated body into the water?
The limitlessness of love doesn't make it ephemeral. It may be mutable, and not everyone can endure and adapt to the dynamic nature of relationships. Infatuation and attraction happen. Bonding is organic. But to love and stay committed to that love over a period of time entails choice and the willingness to make that effort, and not everyone can stand up to that challenge. And that is the bittersweet paradox of adulting and realizing that not everyone will keep up to their promises. Their story in your life has come to an end. But, just because the relationship ended it doesn't mean love has ended. The love was generated out of the Self. It extended to an external recipient for a period of time. Now that the relationship has ended, the Self claims back all their love. Grief itself is a part of love.
If only we knew how to document that grief despite our hyperconnected Selves!
submitted by
Expensive-Two-3459 to
india [link] [comments]
2022.08.25 09:19 Expensive-Two-3459 The Millennial Paradox
TL;DR: We are prolific about discussing our exploits or documenting our digital selves, and yet at great unease about revealing our emotional selves.
As a generational millennial, I feel we stand at the fulcrum of two worlds- one that was acquainted with more tactile forms of communication, and one that is sentient and well-aware of the digital world of hypoconnectivity. I remember some of us had pen-pals when we were adolescents or young adults, (mostly school friends whom we'd refashion as pen-pals during the excitingly languid summer hols). The act of writing a letter to a dear one was both an adventure and an often un-self-conscious act of writing the self onto a material medium that would be read and received by another. The practice of listening to music on audio cassettes was something most of us were acquainted with in the early 1990s, though it entered domestic spaces much earlier. The much-thumbed rewind and forward buttons were testaments to how patience and time were circumstantially proportional. And of course, the beauty of cable television was something most millennials would have nostalgic wet-dreams about when compared to the inane content that is dumped on cable television and OTT platforms now.
And yet we were a generation that remembers the flourish of computer training centers like the NIIT, Webel, and several others. I remember how my mother in the mid-1990s decided she wanted to acquaint herself with the computer and enrolled herself in NIIT's Swift Jyoti course. She was a quick learner and learned how to go about the maze of MS Office and Photoshop. I think she was almost tempted to learn JAVA and C+++ programs, but I cannot seem to remember why she decided otherwise. My first email address was in fact created by my mother, a Hotmail account if I remember correctly. Life was moving fast, but at a pace, most of us were comfortable with. We knew the Telecom industry was changing rapidly, but at a pace, we were comfortable with. Email and the world of email forwards preceded that of the whirling world of WhatsApp memes and gifs. Social media like Orkut and Myspace and chatrooms on Yahoo and Rediff pre-dated what we have now in Facebook, Instagram and to some extent Reddit. But why am I digressing?
The Millennial Generation remembers what the word 'Social' meant before the advent of Social Media. I wouldn't be wrong to consider that we were able to express our emotive selves without an emoticon/emoji. Yet, here we are, flaunting our nostalgia for the past and happily exhibiting our digital selves which may not always reflect our emotional selves. We are however quite expressive of our intellectual selves on the digital medium- what thoughts we have, what books we read (or pose to read), and what political ideologies we'd align with. I do notice, however, that social media does encourage a new wave of Yuppies and Lotus Eaters. The same breed of Liberal Leftists who'd be happy to associate their digital selves to a petition to decry Nestle or sign a change.org petition would often be caught with a purchase in that unmissable brown paper Zara bag- despite their unethical sweatshop-driven workforce.
However profligate and ill-conceived our choices can be, casting aside our convenient and opportunistic use of socialism, most Millennials like several others before and after their generation are painfully shy when it comes to being honest and naked about their emotional selves on social media. And this is not a generational thing. It is a societal condition. We are taught how to grieve the end of life, but not we aren't trained to cope with the death of a relationship. There are rites of passage, involving a period of mourning, replete with adequate rituals customized to acclimatize the self to the loss of kin. We are however not equipped with the savoir-faire to grieve the end of a relationship. Why the shame when a friendship or a relationship ends? To me, despite the amorphous and abstract nature of emotions, the experience of a relationship is a visceral one- one that embodies hope, promise, and possibility. The emotion of bonding and connecting is deeply sensory, and one that requires the investment of labor and time. When an affaire de cœur concludes, leaving nothing but a wisp of "what ifs" and endless sighs, how does one process the vestiges of charred hopes and shards of broken, unfulfilled promises? As young adults, we are cautioned not to succumb to the fleeting emotion of love and passion, often enveloped in the cascade of hormones. But why haven't we addressed the malaise that follows a broken heart? Are we a society still shy of the rapture of love and more abhorrent of the rupture of relationships? Why are we not taught how to process this grief as we are trained to float the ashes of the cremated body into the water?
The limitlessness of love doesn't make it ephemeral. It may be mutable, and not everyone can endure and adapt to the dynamic nature of relationships. Infatuation and attraction happen. Bonding is organic. But to love and stay committed to that love over a period of time entails choice and the willingness to make that effort, and not everyone can stand up to that challenge. And that is the bittersweet paradox of adulting and realizing that not everyone will keep up to their promises. Their story in your life has come to an end. But, just because the relationship ended it doesn't mean love has ended. The love was generated out of the Self. It extended to an external recipient for a period of time. Now that the relationship has ended, the Self claims back all their love. Grief itself is a part of love.
If only we knew how to document that grief despite our hyperconnected Selves!
submitted by
Expensive-Two-3459 to
TwoXIndia [link] [comments]
2022.08.25 08:44 Expensive-Two-3459 The Millennial Paradox
TL;DR: We are prolific about discussing our exploits or documenting our digital selves, and yet at great unease about revealing our emotional selves.
As a generational millennial, I feel we stand at the fulcrum of two worlds- one that was acquainted with more tactile forms of communication, and one that is sentient and well-aware of the digital world of hypoconnectivity. I remember some of us had pen-pals when we were adolescents or young adults, (mostly school friends whom we'd refashion as pen-pals during the excitingly languid summer hols). The act of writing a letter to a dear one was both an adventure and an often un-self-conscious act of writing the self onto a material medium that would be read and received by another. The practice of listening to music on audio cassettes was something most of us were acquainted with in the early 1990s, though it entered domestic spaces much earlier. The much-thumbed rewind and forward buttons were testaments to how patience and time were circumstantially proportional. And of course, the beauty of cable television was something most millennials would have nostalgic wet-dreams about when compared to the inane content that is dumped on cable television and OTT platforms now.
And yet we were a generation that remembers the flourish of computer training centers like the NIIT, Webel, and several others. I remember how my mother in the mid-1990s decided she wanted to acquaint herself with the computer and enrolled herself in NIIT's Swift Jyoti course. She was a quick learner and learned how to go about the maze of MS Office and Photoshop. I think she was almost tempted to learn JAVA and C+++ programs, but I cannot seem to remember why she decided otherwise. My first email address was in fact created by my mother, a Hotmail account if I remember correctly. Life was moving fast, but at a pace, most of us were comfortable with. We knew the Telecom industry was changing rapidly, but at a pace, we were comfortable with. Email and the world of email forwards preceded that of the whirling world of WhatsApp memes and gifs. Social media like Orkut and Myspace and chatrooms on Yahoo and Rediff pre-dated what we have now in Facebook, Instagram and to some extent Reddit. But why am I digressing?
The Millennial Generation remembers what the word 'Social' meant before the advent of Social Media. I wouldn't be wrong to consider that we were able to express our emotive selves without an emoticon/emoji. Yet, here we are, flaunting our nostalgia for the past and happily exhibiting our digital selves which may not always reflect our emotional selves. We are however quite expressive of our intellectual selves on the digital medium- what thoughts we have, what books we read (or pose to read), and what political ideologies we'd align with. I do notice, however, that social media does encourage a new wave of Yuppies and Lotus Eaters. The same breed of Liberal Leftists who'd be happy to associate their digital selves to a petition to decry Nestle or sign a change.org petition would often be caught with a purchase in that unmissable brown paper Zara bag- despite their unethical sweatshop-driven workforce.
However profligate and ill-conceived our choices can be, casting aside our convenient and opportunistic use of socialism, most Millennials like several others before and after their generation are painfully shy when it comes to being honest and naked about their emotional selves on social media. And this is not a generational thing. It is a societal condition. We are taught how to grieve the end of life, but not we aren't trained to cope with the death of a relationship. There are rites of passage, involving a period of mourning, replete with adequate rituals customized to acclimatize the self to the loss of kin. We are however not equipped with the savoir-faire to grieve the end of a relationship. Why the shame when a friendship or a relationship ends? To me, despite the amorphous and abstract nature of emotions, the experience of a relationship is a visceral one- one that embodies hope, promise, and possibility. The emotion of bonding and connecting is deeply sensory, and one that requires the investment of labor and time. When an affaire de cœur concludes, leaving nothing but a wisp of "what ifs" and endless sighs, how does one process the vestiges of charred hopes and shards of broken, unfulfilled promises? As young adults, we are cautioned not to succumb to the fleeting emotion of love and passion, often enveloped in the cascade of hormones. But why haven't we addressed the malaise that follows a broken heart? Are we a society still shy of the rapture of love and more abhorrent of the rupture of relationships? Why are we not taught how to process this grief as we are trained to float the ashes of the cremated body into the water?
The limitlessness of love doesn't make it ephemeral. It may be mutable, and not everyone can endure and adapt to the dynamic nature of relationships. Infatuation and attraction happen. Bonding is organic. But to love and stay committed to that love over a period of time entails choice and the willingness to make that effort, and not everyone can stand up to that challenge. And that is the bittersweet paradox of adulting and realizing that not everyone will keep up to their promises. Their story in your life has come to an end. But, just because the relationship ended it doesn't mean love has ended. The love was generated out of the Self. It extended to an external recipient for a period of time. Now that the relationship has ended, the Self claims back all their love. Grief itself is a part of love.
If only we knew how to document that grief despite our hyperconnected Selves!
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2022.08.25 08:39 Expensive-Two-3459 The Millennial Paradox
TL;DR: We are prolific about discussing our exploits or documenting our digital selves, and yet at great unease about revealing our emotional selves.
As a generational millennial, I feel we stand at the fulcrum of two worlds- one that was acquainted with more tactile forms of communication, and one that is sentient and well-aware of the digital world of hypoconnectivity. I remember some of us had pen-pals when we were adolescents or young adults, (mostly school friends whom we'd refashion as pen-pals during the excitingly languid summer hols). The act of writing a letter to a dear one was both an adventure and an often un-self-conscious act of writing the self onto a material medium that would be read and received by another. The practice of listening to music on audio cassettes was something most of us were acquainted with in the early 1990s, though it entered domestic spaces much earlier. The much-thumbed rewind and forward buttons were testaments to how patience and time were circumstantially proportional. And of course, the beauty of cable television was something most millennials would have nostalgic wet-dreams about when compared to the inane content that is dumped on cable television and OTT platforms now.
And yet we were a generation that remembers the flourish of computer training centers like the NIIT, Webel, and several others. I remember how my mother in the mid-1990s decided she wanted to acquaint herself with the computer and enrolled herself in NIIT's Swift Jyoti course. She was a quick learner and learned how to go about the maze of MS Office and Photoshop. I think she was almost tempted to learn JAVA and C+++ programs, but I cannot seem to remember why she decided otherwise. My first email address was in fact created by my mother, a Hotmail account if I remember correctly. Life was moving fast, but at a pace, most of us were comfortable with. We knew the Telecom industry was changing rapidly, but at a pace, we were comfortable with. Email and the world of email forwards preceded that of the whirling world of WhatsApp memes and gifs. Social media like Orkut and Myspace and chatrooms on Yahoo and Rediff pre-dated what we have now in Facebook, Instagram and to some extent Reddit. But why am I digressing?
The Millennial Generation remembers what the word 'Social' meant before the advent of Social Media. I wouldn't be wrong to consider that we were able to express our emotive selves without an emoticon/emoji. Yet, here we are, flaunting our nostalgia for the past and happily exhibiting our digital selves which may not always reflect our emotional selves. We are however quite expressive of our intellectual selves on the digital medium- what thoughts we have, what books we read (or pose to read), and what political ideologies we'd align with. I do notice, however, that social media does encourage a new wave of Yuppies and Lotus Eaters. The same breed of Liberal Leftists who'd be happy to associate their digital selves to a petition to decry Nestle or sign a change.org petition would often be caught with a purchase in that unmissable brown paper Zara bag- despite their unethical sweatshop-driven workforce.
However profligate and ill-conceived our choices can be, casting aside our convenient and opportunistic use of socialism, most Millennials like several others before and after their generation are painfully shy when it comes to being honest and naked about their emotional selves on social media. And this is not a generational thing. It is a societal condition. We are taught how to grieve the end of life, but not we aren't trained to cope with the death of a relationship. There are rites of passage, involving a period of mourning, replete with adequate rituals customized to acclimatize the self to the loss of kin. We are however not equipped with the savoir-faire to grieve the end of a relationship. Why the shame when a friendship or a relationship ends? To me, despite the amorphous and abstract nature of emotions, the experience of a relationship is a visceral one- one that embodies hope, promise, and possibility. The emotion of bonding and connecting is deeply sensory, and one that requires the investment of labor and time. When an affaire de cœur concludes, leaving nothing but a wisp of "what ifs" and endless sighs, how does one process the vestiges of charred hopes and shards of broken, unfulfilled promises? As young adults, we are cautioned not to succumb to the fleeting emotion of love and passion, often enveloped in the cascade of hormones. But why haven't we addressed the malaise that follows a broken heart? Are we a society still shy of the rapture of love and more abhorrent of the rupture of relationships? Why are we not taught how to process this grief as we are trained to float the ashes of the cremated body into the water?
The limitlessness of love doesn't make it ephemeral. It may be mutable, and not everyone can endure and adapt to the dynamic nature of relationships. Infatuation and attraction happen. Bonding is organic. But to love and stay committed to that love over a period of time entails choice and the willingness to make that effort, and not everyone can stand up to that challenge. And that is the bittersweet paradox of adulting and realizing that not everyone will keep up to their promises. Their story in your life has come to an end. But, just because the relationship ended it doesn't mean love has ended. The love was generated out of the Self. It extended to an external recipient for a period of time. Now that the relationship has ended, the Self claims back all their love. Grief itself is a part of love.
If only we knew how to document that grief despite our hyperconnected Selves!
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2022.04.29 10:03 Laudcomedia Social Media Day Celebrating The Good, Bad & Ugly
Web-based Entertainment Day Celebrating The Good, Bad and Ugly
Web-based entertainment today has attacked our lives more than ever and the peculiarity is widespread. It has, in a real sense, made the world a more modest spot, assisting individuals with associating, share, trade data from across the globe.
From getting their portion of information, sharing jealousy initiating get-away pics, to beginning developments, marking petitions, raising assets, looking for help, virtual entertainment is everybody's go-to detect for everything.
Interpersonal interaction gives individuals the simplicity to speak with anyone in any area of the planet whenever and the beginning of this pattern can be followed back to 1997 when the main online entertainment webpage SixDegrees gave individuals the choice to share profiles and make virtual companions. Innovation, or SoNet, has changed a ton from that point forward.
In the period of LinkedIn (2003), Youtube (2005), Facebook (2006), Twitter (2006), Instagram (2010), and Snapchat (2011), individuals impart in the language of channels, stickers, images and emoticons.
Presently, the all inescapability of online entertainment has driven us to commend its own extraordinary day, the Social Media Day that falls on 30 June of consistently. Lets accordingly take some time, on this day, to describe every one of the general mishmash that the virtual entertainment has brought unto us.
Lets start with the up-sides:
Simplicity of availability:
The most fundamental capacity of any interpersonal organization is associating individuals, helping them impart and share data. Online entertainment spans these actual distances, allowing clients to share their lives, distresses and delights, with individuals who matter regardless of how far and obscure they might be to one another.
News, live and as it works out:
In the present computerized age, nobody needs to trust that the paper will get their heap of what's going on the planet. Everything revolves around moment data, and virtual entertainment helps spread that data.
It's likewise a medium where developments for driving change start and pick up speed. Whether it was #MeToo that gave ladies the world over a voice to oppose rape, the #IceBucketChallenge that brought issues to light and cash for ALS, or different missions against and for quite a long time points, web-based entertainment has frequently assisted drive with evolving.
Amazing open doors for Business And Growth:
Web-based Entertainment has likewise transformed into an all inclusive commercial center for new and existing organizations. It empowers them to arrive at clients across limits. It works with direct shopper collaboration and permits organizations to develop dramatically basically taking out every single geographic limit.
Allows now to talk about the negatives:
The torrent of data via web-based entertainment can now and again be overpowering, whether it's posts from companions or phony news doing the rounds. While data is great, a lot of it can cause your feed to feel unwieldy, frightened and distrustful. In addition the additional weight of filtering the grain from the debris.
Security issues:
The new Facebook - Cambridge Analytica embarrassment has brought up issues about the amount of the clients information do virtual entertainment organizations keep, and all the more significantly how would they manage it. Information protection is the tech-age's greatest blight right now.
Absence of individual association:
While virtual entertainment is an incredible method for remaining associated, it has somehow or another additionally prompted loss of individual communication. Discussions have been supplanted with 'pings' and emojis; and the appeal of meeting and conversing with individuals eye to eye frequently lost. Truth be told most schools, universities and presently even cafés have started forbidding the utilization of cells on their premises all in the expectation of reviving human connection.
Digital Harassment:
Provocation, whether on the web or disconnected, can scar individuals for quite a while. Also, web-based entertainment makes clients obvious objectives. Savages don't extra anybody, and digital provocation can frequently prompt despondency. Secrecy given by Social Media makes it simple for even standard people to turn menaces, stalkers and savages. Everybody appears to have an assessment on all that and needs it known to everybody. Digital wrongdoing has thusly expanded extraordinarily and, surprisingly, the paces of suicides and wretchedness particularly among forlorn, minimized youth.
Habit
A lot of anything can be unfortunate. Furthermore, this stands valid for web-based entertainment as well. On a normal, clients burn through nine to ten hours via virtual entertainment without even deliberately acknowledging it, this is much longer than a typical individual's rest time. This influences individuals in manners they frequently don't understand, from state of mind swings to the nature of work to other way of life infections. Truth be told a whole part of study has developed because of the physiological and mental ills of consistent network and inordinate online entertainment fixation.
In any case, the hard truth is love it or disdain it; we can't stay away from it. the arrangement accordingly lies with some restraint. also, balance must be accomplished through sheer will, purpose and discretion.
Along these lines, Social Media has completely changed us, for better or in negative ways. However, as we would like to think, the masters offset the cons by a huge degree....
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2022.04.16 08:37 Davilostherpassword Some thot thoughts
I can understand people online thinking that censoring me is a solution but that is just outdated thinking entirely. That’s prohibition tell me how well that went
Perhaps we should discuss Reagan, the crack epidemic and Nicaragua next
Oh nooooo you thought I was gonna be an air headed idiot didn’t you?! Now you have more reasons to hate me! I’m also 🎉ARROGANT🎉 just beating you to the punch line
You already know that it is not my fault parents do not monitor their children and their internet use. You’re projecting your lack of power on a group no one will protect, as society ALWAYS does. You should start targeting the 1% like you target us 🥰
I googled boobs when I was like 10 it’s that easy, I never needed reddit or Facebook or MySpace to become a disturbed and unstable sexual degenerate that developed organically, ✨NATURALLY✨
✨🥰💖through years of perfectly natural and intense trauma and an absence of parenting, paired with being born into a class of poverty WOOOOO because my mother married the only failure Davenport of the family, which is in part because of his extreme mental illnesses paired with drug use from years of what I think was sparked by intense familial abuse (I lived with my grandparents a little oh dear it was a new kind of abuse for me)💖🥰✨
Also stop bitching about emoji usage and then preaching for change you sound like a whole fool
Using emoticons is the exact same idea and concept, it just furthers your agenda so you like it more
So before you blame your favorite internet ethot remember, it’s not my fault they have
💕💖✨irresponsible parents✨💖💕
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2022.03.10 22:06 The_Boring_Brick Carol: if you're reading this, you know what you did.
You've been stealing my lasagna recipes for years. When my sock drawer caught on fire back in 2003, the clues led straight to you. And now, just this morning, you posted about a 'wordel' game on our Facebook group. I don't know what that means but you used my funny emoticon pattern I made a while ago. You cannot keep getting away with this.
I learned what a 'hyperlink' is the other day so let me try to add some.
My post Your post I put the pattern in our Facebook group first. Stop trying to take credit for what isn't yours. In fact, I'll post it again just to prove it.
🟩⬜️⬜️⬜️🟩 ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟫⬜️🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
🟩🟩🟧🟧🟩 🟦🟦🟩🟧🟧 🟩🟩🟧🟧🟩
🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪
To make sure you understand this, Carol, this is MY pattern. Make something that's yours sometime soon and maybe your husband will love you again.
If you keep this up, I will let your kids know and they'll have you sent back to the nursing home. John will also be hearing about this. Don't act like nothing will happen if you act this way. Because something will happen. Out of the ordinary, I mean.
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2021.10.01 08:27 ladyboner_22 My roommate(25f) will not leave my(21f) dog alone.
I am not OP. OP is
u/roommatehelpp ---
Original I've never been so frustrated with a person in my entire life. Let me set the scene. I've known 'Ariel' since I was 19, we met my second year in uni, we became friends pretty quickly and I was looking to move off of campus and we ended up renting a place with another mutual friend. We've lived together for about 2 years, and she is a perfect roommate, we're basically the sisters we've never had but always wanted.
Ariel loves animals, LOVES them and is studying to be a vet. We rent a pretty big apartment with a fenced in yard that allows pets so naturally, she starts bringing home strays she finds - and I don't mind because she takes care of them - mutual friend/roomie could care less cause I'm pretty sure he's just stoned all day (whatever he pays rent and keeps to himself)
But she does this thing where she 'cycles' through pets, oh a lost kitten? Let's raise it for a bit then get rid of it. And I mean, she IS fixing them up, getting rid of their ear mites and sending them along it's just..I don't know weird to me. I don't even know how many we've gone through now...13 cats at least? It's probably only been 4-5 dogs, and I'm pretty sure there was a bunny for a few months. She still has two cats as of right now that she's kept for awhile and there's one dog she can't get rid of. Like 9 years old and blind as bat but really sweet.
Well I love animals too! And after being around so many I wanted a pet of my own. I've always dreamed of having a papillon so I did my research, found a breeder (no puppymill business) and got to meet my baby girl 2 times before bringing her home and oh my god she is my WORLD. Her name is Fu and I'm so, so glad I have her. I've never had a pet of my own before but I really enjoy all the responsibilities that come with pet ownership, I have a puppy behaviorist/trainer we see regularly and I plan on continuing those classes.
So here's the problem Ariel gave me a LOT of shit for getting a pure bred, and training her, basically pouring money into something when there's 'so many animals in shelters that need forever homes and help' and I get that, I do. But I want what I want, she can't dictate what type of animal I get or how I get it- or what I decide to spend my money on. She seemed to resent my pup at first, making fun of me for having a 'disgusting spoiled toy dog' - but now it's like she's OBSESSED with her. Papillons are high energy/dependent dogs and the only time I really leave her alone is during my classes - otherwise she's with me, walking, dog parks, or just carried around with me. She get's on with all the other animals just fine -and the only people she's not quite accustomed to yet is children but we only have to deal with that in public and I'm not one of those people that just lets whoever just walk up and stick their hands in my dogs face.
My problem is Ariel has taken to taking Fu out and about when I'm gone. The first time I came home and she was missing I had an absolute meltdown thinking one my roommates let her out or she snuck out the front door somehow. Stoner roommate had no idea what I was talking about naturally. Queue Ariel showing up an hour later after ignoring my texts, walking in with Fu! She wasn't wearing a harness/collar and she didn't even have a purse to carry her in. Like I said I work hard with training her -but I'm no where near being comfortable enough to let her walk without a leash WITHOUT ME. I blew up and told her that's not okay and explained in the most reasonable way why it's not okay. But this continues to fucking happen - she's even bought her own carrier for her, custom heart collars, and shit ton clothes and accessories that Fu HATES - I get she will need sweaters during the winter but she doesn't need a fucking skirt and doggy sunglasses.
Not to mention Ariels social media is just flooded with pictures of her referring her to 'her baby' and says that her name is Princess. It's so bad to where if I ever bring her on campus people will go "Isn't that Ariel's dog?" or "Whoa that looks just like Ariel's dog" She keeps telling me she'll stop and that she understands where I'm coming from, she's just jealous I have a fancy well behaved dog and she's never gotten the opportunity to have a pet like mine. She always has to get 'fixer-uppers' for show because of her job- she volunteers at a clinic. Meanwhile over the course of me getting Fu, her two cats and Maisy(blind dog) are never taken care of or shown any attention, it seems like I'm the one feeding all the animals and taking Maisy out - but oh you bet Ariel is trying to buy the most 'vegan and trendy' snacks for Fu which I don't like because it upsets her diet that I have which is specifically for her.
Our lease is up in January and I'd really hate to give up this place, pet friendly, spacious, and close to campus is hard to beat. But besides moving out I don't know what else to do? Trust me when I say I'm not a push over - because I'm at the point where I'm going to hit this bitch in the face. She went from being my best friend, to some crazy person who's trying to swap pets with me or something.
I've tried the calm approach, I've tried yelling, I've thrown away things she's bought Fu and just reimbursed her for them. And maybe I'm overreacting, maybe I'm just crazy because this is my first pet-but it upsets me when all the hard work I put into training/feeding/bathroom habits goes out the fucking window when she's with Ariel. She lets her eat human food (thank you instagram).
I once saw her post a selfie with Fu at the mall saying 'Best shopping buddy ever, love you Princess!' I left class early to track her down and confront her for the 100th time, she was browsing in and out of Sephora, and I just see Fu sitting in the fucking purse Ariel bought her alone by the counter. Lord Jesus I could have killed someone. I didn't make a scene but did a very "Are you fucking kidding me, I'm so done with you" type of deal. Me and Fu have currently been at a friends house for the last day and a half. We can't stay any longer because they don't allow pets but I really, really don't want to go home. Of course Ariel's facebook is all "I miss my little girlie so much
a bunch of stupid fucking emoticons"
God. Sorry. This is a rant, a desperate desperate rant. I would not have ever imagined this happening and I don't want to live like this for another 3-4 months.
EDIT:: Just for some extra info, yes I have all the vet/breeder papers, yes Fu is micro-chipped. I looked up two 'doggy day cares' that I'll be visiting today, but honestly though everyone is freaking me out so I've talked to my mom who agreed to house Fu until January - it's 3 hours away but that seems the safest as of right now. I tried getting stoner roomie on my side before talking to the landlord about possibly trying to evict Ariel..if that's even a thing. But really it just looks like I'm going to have to move, which sucks but it necessary. ---
Update Thank you to everyone for your concern, I knew I wasn't over reacting but I just needed an outside look to reassure me of that- and even thank you to the few who took time out of their day to call me a spoiled white girl with a toy dog, oh and the one who told me I'm horrible forever putting my very small dog in a purse/carrier. Because they never get tired or too hot from a walk right?
Anyway, I was going to update right away but things...quickly escalated is the best way to put it. I decided to make the 3 hour drive back to my mom’s so Fu could stay with her, Fu was actually pretty excited to have some new cats to play with and my mom loves her so, the drive was worth it. They doggy daycares would have been nice, but besides the price- I really didn't want to take the chance of Ariel finding out where Fu was and trying anything.
I'll admit what happened next was a mistake on my part, because when Ariel started grilling me on where I was, but more importantly - here Fu was - I should have ignored her, or lied, idk but I just couldn't stop myself. So I replied to something along the lines of.
Me: "Ariel, I have told you multiple times that your behavior regarding MY DOG is not okay and it has gone on for long enough. I'm tired of fearing for my dogs safety in my own home simply because you cannot seem to understand boundaries. Fu will be staying with my family until I can find a new place to live."
Queue 10000000 sob stories on how I could do this to a 'friend' and 'I thought we were sisters' and how I'm ruining her life, and if I hated her so much I should DO THE ADULT THING by not involving Fu in the middle of all this, and that I shouldn't take her out of her home, and that she'd be more than happy to take care of her for me?! She was honestly acting crazy and I just decide to shut my phone off at that point and ignore her until I got back the next morning.
I wake up to I don't even know how many missed calls and texts, whatever I don't even bother looking at them, I deal with the crazy in person soon enough anyway. I say bye to Fu and head back home. Three hours later I pull up to our driveway and Ariel is just standing there on the front porch looking like a hot mess, glaring daggers at me and I can see that she's on the phone. I already know this is going to be so much fun to deal with. I park my car and brace myself for.. whatever confrontation is about to happen. I get out and start walking through our gate and the first thing out of her mouth -
"Just so you know, the police are on their way, don't even think about coming inside."
What?? I start to panic a little because I have no idea what I'm about to walk into or what crazy shit she pulled when I was gone, but I just try to say in my most calm-reasonable voice. "Why are the police coming?" and she just hisses out "You know why" and starts pacing back and forth. I really want to go inside but I don't want to have to go through her so I just sort of stand awkwardly on my front lawn and I guess wait for the fucking cops to show up. In the meantime I start texting Ryan(stoner roomie - to see if he had any fucking clue what was going on)
It took probably 10 minutes for a cop car to finally pull up, two officers get out and they don't seem like they're in a bad mood or anything. I try to say 'good morning' and wave to them but Ariel shrieks out, "Don't let her fucking near me, she's fucking crazy!" and I just sort of should shrug at them. They ask me what the problem is and I tell them I honestly have no idea what's going on. Ariel's still screaming something so one of the cops goes over to her and one stays with me and kind of pulls me aside. He starts asking me when did I get home, where I was yesterday, where I stayed the night. I had no problem talking to him, told him I left for my mom's house about 1pm, got there at 4, stayed the night, I told them they could call my mom if he wanted to. That’s when he tells me that got a call last night, from Ariel saying she was in distress saying that I was threatening her, he asked me if I knew anything about that, I said no, I explained the whole situation, about Fu, everything. He sort of sighs and goes to walk up to Ariel and the other cop, she’s still hysterical.
So here’s when things get crazy..er. Ariel trashed the fucking house, my room included and tried to pin it on me, called the cops because she feared for her safety, oh and of course for stealing her property – Fu and her laptop was fucked so, destruction of property too I guess. I told them to call my mom, ask our friends, there was no way I was in the house when this shit happened, I have all the documents from my breeder- who I said they’re free to contact, proving Fu is mine, I said we could even take her to the vet to get her chip scanned to – again- prove she is mine.
Ariel is losing her shit probably because she’s realizing that her story isn’t going to pass as believable (seriously why would I trash my own room??) I don’t understand her logic at all. I can’t even remember all the things she called me but ‘Lieing bitch’ was definitely the most used. She threw a candle at me and at this point the cops are restraining her and she’s just sort of…spazzing out in their arms and accidentally hits one in the face (I really do think it was an accident, I don’t think they did though) so they end up taking her out in a cop car and at this point I start to feel kinda bad because now our neighbors are out and it’s kind of a scene.
Idk what she’s arrested for, or if she was even arrested? Maybe they were just holding her, but they said I should contact someone else if I don’t want to deal with her because I’m not under obligation to and they asked if I wanted to press charges, I said no.
At this point, I feel like the only thing I can do is call her parents, I feel kind of shitty about that too but I don’t know what else I was supposed to do. That phone call was probably one of the most awkward things I’ve ever had to do in my life. Like I said me and Ariel WERE like sisters, her mom and dad know me so telling them that I just had their daughter arrested was. Ugh.
Her mom broke down on the phone and said she was afraid something like this might happen. So apparently Ariel flunked out sometime last year, and that this is the longest she’s been unemployed and she's been depressed? I guess she told her mom she wasn’t sure she wanted to be a vet anymore, which surprised me because I was under the impression that she only had a few semester left. Her mom said that they’ve been supporting her this whole time hoping she was on the right track to finding a job or going back to school.
So now I’m freaking out because I’ve lived with her for basically 2 years – I mean she was pretty convincing that she was going to school AND her job, like she complained about papers..professors…coworkers, she had books and everything. I don’t know how long she’s been pretending to go to school and have a job. None of our friends knew…I didn’t know and now I feel like a shitty friend for not noticing because I’m like 99% sure at this point she’s having some sort of psychotic break. Her parents are driving up here so I didn’t tell them any of this on the phone, but they said once she’s bailed out that she’s going to be living with them. I also feel like..I kind of drove her to her breaking point with Fu?
So I don’t really know what’s going to happen. Besides the fact that I’m moving out regardless of what happens to Ariel, I just can’t continue living with her after everything that’s happened
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2021.09.16 05:09 OmarLitttle Using emoticons in a sad announcement is too inappropriate and grotesque, and it looks super trashy.
(Not native english)
Because of my job, I sometimes end up having to trace people that were involved in traffic accidents (or their relatives), and it's becoming more and more common to run into these sad announcements that include emoticons with little crying faces, praying hands, little angels, broken hearts and things like that between sentences.
"I'm sorry to announce my sis passed away this morning 😭 I'll miss you so much, Jen 💔🤦♀️😢😩"
I find it unbeliveable that someone isn't capable of seeing how ridiculous an emoticon can turn a sad announcement .
Facebook, of course, is the worst. Not only we see posts (now more than ever) about deaths of relatives with stupid emoticons; if you happen to look at the replies, they're full of trashy gifs and stickers with... I don't know... animals in tears, angels flying, etc. A lot of times, even images and gifs that are thought for happy or romantic situations, like friendly hugs or kisses with hearts. It's disgusting. It feels like the person announcing it, takes it as serious as their team losing a game, or running out of milk.
Anyway, it looks like it's something very acceptable between certaing groups of people.
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2021.08.10 18:16 westhord My most complicated break up ever - without closure
Hey there. I've recently been through a really complicated break up with a girl. For me its so hard to understand and get over it. I'm looking for some opinions to help me see different point of views. And gotta say sorry for my english, as its not my primar language.
So long story short we've been together just around 2 months. She seemed so fast falling in love with me, she was looking at me with sparkling eyes, was so clingy and cute. I'm more introverted than her. Maybe because I'm 6 years older then her so I have more bad experiences or schemes. She just turned 25. sometimes seemed so naive. I have more trust issues and self respect problems too. I've been through pretty bad relationships before but I always was honest with her about my feelings and She made sure I can trust and count on her.
But slowly my health and work issues made me more closed in mind and instead of helping me out she built walls as well to save herself from me. Thats what She said breaking up with me literally out of nowhere as few days before She said She is happy with me and we just need to work on our relationship to be comfortable for both of us.
The break up itself took days. She slept in my house that day and late night I only asked her to move a bit so I can get the blanket under her. She woke up and was so broken, started to cry and say She can't take this anymore. We are not at the same emotion-level. I asked what does it mean? She said She does not know what She wants. She had a shower and we went to sleep. She asked me to hug her and sleep like spoons..
On the next day we went to a beach but She was so cold, barely talking to me. After we got home I asked whats happening because seems like She wants to say its over but She can't. I was right about it, but She was also confused. She expected me being cold and ok with this decision but I broke down with all my walls down too. I opened up fully showing my most vulnerable side. She was about to go, but could not leave me, keep cuddling and kissing until mindnight so I haven't let her go home and drive hours so we slept together again and She wanted me to hug her all night.
On the third day of the break up she decided to go to IKEA on the way home and asked me to go with her. After She take me home and finally left. We talked a lot about what we shoud have done differently, we talked over almost everything.
Turned out she left her jacket at my place so few days later She came over to take it. I tried to act distanced as She showed no sign of changing her mind however She started to cuddle again and kiss. When She realised I took off the bracelet got from her, She broke and took off hers and throw it away. I got it from the floor and put it in her pocket saying ,,keep that as a memory and we can wear it again one day". She calmed down and said I'm right and admitted her overreaction. She left again and we talked a lot again online.
She said She is so confused and She did not know before how sensitive is She, turned out being with me and She throught She is stronger, but no. In one moment She could cry, the next She is like a cold Stone. She said She would ask me to wait a month until She figures out what She wants from herself but She knows its not fair to ask things like that. I said people dont give hopes for quite a long Time so probably I'll be there if She changes her mind. She seemed like She only needs Time to get back to me, She was even afraid losing me.
Few days later I asked how She is but She was so cold saying She knows what She wants now, and I'm not in her plans anymore. She don't and never had feelings for me and we never even knew each other so I should move on and find someone else to be happy with.
I was shocked by the change, I still can't believe its possible to change her mind so fast. However She was stalking my Instagram stories within minutes this time too. I really tried to understand what could happen in her mind. Maybe She never liked me for real just was all in her head? Or its just her way of coping the loss? I can't éven understand how could be someone important in one day and a stranger on the next one. Anyway I left her alone because She got really frustrated about my questions.
Weeks later I had to go to her hometown. I was broken to go there not seeing her. I sent her a pretty long closure letter explaining everything and saying sorry for all the things I haven't done and thanked everything good I got from her. On the way back home after 3 hours driving I made a small mistake and got a puncture at 110km/h, broke my car and it was just about the luck that noone died. Unfortunately by the shock I called her instead of the emergency. I dont even remember what we were talking about for almost a minute, I Guess the adrenaline worked. Later I apologized because of calling her and put that weight on her shoulder. She was so mature and mind this time but on the next day She unfollowed me on Instagram but remained friends on Facebook. I asked if I did stg wrong just to learn about it, She said no but this is going to be better.
After this I left her alone for a months and only contacted on her birthday apologizing again if I ever made her feel bad and wished her to be happy. Her reply was so cold again.
Another month later I asked her to send my CD back as She promised but never did until. I explained her I don't actually need that cd but keeps the hope awake in me She wants to come around to give it back in person. So I had to killed this hope in me because probably She is over me a long time ago. She was cold again saying She is going to send via post this week. She removed now my nickname on messenger and the heart emoticon too. I dont understand why was important to do this just now but pissed me off so I finally wrote down the torns left in me. Until this time I was only blaming myself and my anxiety building walls. But never told her how much it hurted me She promised I could count on her but She left at the really first conflict and one day from an another She acts like strangers. Got no answer, however I only need a heartfelt sorry to move on.. Now I waiting for the post.
Ah I know its a long post now, but seriously makes it any sense? Could you help be what could be on her mind? I know I'm not an easy one either, but at least I can talk about it. i always feel that noone ever going to understand me, She made me feel lost the last hope its worth to open up as well.
Thank you if you had patience to read that 🙈
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2021.08.10 16:55 westhord my most confusing break up
Hey there. I've recently been through a really complicated break up with a girl. For me is so hard to understand and get over it. I'm looking for some opinions to help me see different point of views. And gotta say sorry for my english, as its not my primar language.
So long story short we've been together just around 2 months. She seemed so fast falling in love with me, she was looking at me with sparkling eyes, was so clingy and cute. I'm more introverted than her. Maybe because I'm 6 years older then her so I have more bad experiences or schemes. She just turned 25. sometimes seemed so naive. I have more trust issues and self respect problems too. I've been through pretty bad relationships before but I always was honest with her about my feelings and She made sure I can trust and count on her.
But slowly my health and work issues made me more closed in mind and instead of helping me out she built walls as well to save herself from me. Thats what She said breaking up with me literally out of nowhere as few days before She said She is happy with me and we just need to work on our relationship to be comfortable for both of us.
The break up itself took days. She slept in my house that day and late night I only asked her to move a bit so I can get the blanket under her. She woke up and was so broken, started to cry and say She can't take this anymore. We are not at the same emotion-level. I asked what does it mean? She said She does not know what She wants. She had a shower and we went to sleep. She asked me to hug her and sleep like spoons..
On the next day we went to a beach but She was so cold, barely talking to me. After we got home I asked whats happening because seems like She wants to say its over but She can't. I was right about it, but She was also confused. She expected me being cold and ok with this decision but I broke down with all my walls down too. I opened up fully showing my most vulnerable side. She was about to go, but could not leave me, keep cuddling and kissing until mindnight so I haven't let her go home and drive hours so we slept together again and She wanted me to hug her all night.
On the third day of the break up she decided to go to IKEA on the way home and asked me to go with her. After She take me home and finally left. We talked a lot about what we shoud have done differently, we talked over almost everything.
Turned out she left her jacket at my place so few days later She came over to take it. I tried to act distanced as She showed no sign of changing her mind however She started to cuddle again and kiss. When She realised I took off the bracelet got from her, She broke and took off hers and throw it away. I got it from the floor and put it in her pocket saying ,,keep that as a memory and we can wear it again one day". She calmed down and said I'm right and admitted her overreaction. She left again and we talked a lot again online.
She said She is so confused and She did not know before how sensitive is She, turned out being with me and She throught She is stronger, but no. In one moment She could cry, the next She is like a cold Stone. She said She would ask me to wait a month until She figures out what She wants from herself but She knows its not fair to ask things like that. I said people dont give hopes for quite a long Time so probably I'll be there if She changes her mind. She seemed like She only needs Time to get back to me, She was even afraid losing me.
Few days later I asked how She is but She was so cold saying She knows what She wants now, and I'm not in her plans anymore. She don't and never had feelings for me and we never even knew each other so I should move on and find someone else to be happy with.
I was shocked by the change, I still can't believe its possible to change her mind so fast. However She was stalking my Instagram stories within minutes this time too. I really tried to understand what could happen in her mind. Maybe She never liked me for real just was all in her head? Or its just her way of coping the loss? I can't éven understand how could be someone important in one day and a stranger on the next one. Anyway I left her alone because She got really frustrated about my questions.
Weeks later I had to go to her hometown. I was broken to go there not seeing her. I sent her a pretty long closure letter explaining everything and saying sorry for all the things I haven't done and thanked everything good I got from her. On the way back home after 3 hours driving I made a small mistake and got a puncture at 110km/h, broke my car and it was just about the luck that noone died. Unfortunately by the shock I called her instead of the emergency. I dont even remember what we were talking about for almost a minute, I Guess the adrenaline worked. Later I apologized because of calling her and put that weight on her shoulder. She was so mature and mind this time but on the next day She unfollowed me on Instagram but remained friends on Facebook. I asked if I did stg wrong just to learn about it, She said no but this is going to be better.
After this I left her alone for a months and only contacted on her birthday apologizing again if I ever made her feel bad and wished her to be happy. Her reply was so cold again.
Another month later I asked her to send my CD back as She promised but never did until. I explained her I don't actually need that cd but keeps the hope awake in me She wants to come around to give it back in person. So I had to killed this hope in me because probably She is over me a long time ago. She was cold again saying She is going to send via post this week. She removed now my nickname on messenger and the heart emoticon too. I dont understand why was important to do this just now but pissed me off so I finally wrote down the torns left in me. Until this time I was only blaming myself and my anxiety building walls. But never told her how much it hurted me She promised I could count on her but She left at the really first conflict and one day from an another She acts like strangers. Got no answer, however I only need a heartfelt sorry to move on.. Now I waiting for the post.
Ah I know its a long post now, but seriously makes it any sense? Could you help be what could be on her mind? I know I'm not an easy one either, but at least I can talk about it. I always feel that noone ever going to understand me, She made me feel lost the last hope its worth to open up as well.
Thank you if you had patience to read that 🙈
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westhord to
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2021.07.14 02:18 Flashy-Internet9174 Talking to someone with bad anxiety
I’ve been talking to someone for 2 months now who I met on the Facebook dating app.
He’s very sweet and messages me every day. Things have progressed to us using the kissing emoticons lol. I want to meet up and he says he does as well but when I suggest it he puts it off because of his anxiety. He says it isn’t related to covid but worries about making his family ill. We live about 30 minute drive away from each other, he doesn’t drive at the moment due to his anxiety but I do and have offered to pick him up which he feels bad about..
We’ve spoken on the phone once although it only lasted 7 minutes before he hung up as his family came home. He frequently says he wishes he could move out as his family annoy him with questions.
I don’t want to put any pressure on him but I’m just a bit worried about him becoming too emotionally involved with me when we haven’t met yet as he seems so sensitive and inexperienced. He’s 27 and never been in a relationship, I’m 31 and have been in just the one.
Tonight he was talking about his anxiety and he was saying how he didn’t want to burden me as I have enough of my own troubles so I kind of brought up that he shouldn’t be so judgemental about his feelings and he messages back is that a bad thing? And I bet you’ve changed your opinion of me now? I’m just a bit worried he’s getting needy when he wants to stay in his comfort zone when it comes to meeting up as if I’m not attracted to him in person he might already be emotionally involved.. He’s spoken before about how bad experiences have affected his self esteem.
ETA / I have to consider he’s just not that into me if he doesn’t feel I am worth battling his anxiety for
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2021.03.23 19:19 huckstah The Air BnB business is taking a heavy toll on working hobos and seasonal workers. Look for a room to rent? Couchsurfing? Studio Apartment? Good fucking luck. Halfass illiterate details inside.
I'll start by saying that I hate the Air BnB business for multiple reasons, but first and foremost because of the way that its made my lifestyle as a working class hobo far more difficult.
As a hobo that works and makes money in most of the places I travel, my routine strategy is generally this:
Step One: Find relatively safe spot to camp for one month in my tent/hammock, safe meaning that it (hopefully) won't be bothered by thieves or cops while I'm sleeping or away from work.
Step Two: Find a job, typically seasonal work on marijuana fields, fruit orchards, produce farms, canneries, warehousing, landscaping, restaurant/hotels, tourism sector, etc.
Step 3: Save 80% my first two paychecks (usually 1,000 - 1,500), and rent a room or studio apartment to live in while working the rest of the season.
And its that Step 3 that is bein hurt so badly by the Air BNB business.
Finding a room or small studio for rent (usually 300 - 500/month) is now nearly impossible due strictly to the Air BnB business.
And couchsurfing isn't left undamaged by the Air BnB boom either...
What's happening is pretty obvious, but for those that haven't been clued in, I'll explain briefly: Upwards of 70 percent of all of those rooms, studios, and couchsurfing opportunities have been turned into an Air BnB.
And it ain't cheap either. Its not even remotely affordable for most...
Sure, in the early days of Air BnB, when it was new and didnt have the large customer base that it has now, you could find weekly/monthly Air BnB deals that were cheap, even vheaper than your budget motels or rooms for rent. $200 weekly deals, 2 nights 1 free, and other sweet deals that would come along with shaking a hand and letting the landlord know your situation/budget/plans.
However, these days? Those rooms, those prices, those longer-term options and handshake deals? Those are done. Over. GONE.
And the rooms for rents, the studio apartments, the guesthouse monthly rentals? Well those are all Air BnB accomodations, many of which are going for exorbitant prices that are not only unaffordable to the regular working class vacationer, but certainly too pricy for the underpaid working class hobo.
$150 a night and upwards for someone's spare bedroom or renovated garage. The fuck?
But, Oh HONEY look its worth it because you can do a free tour of their organic farm and they also provide a free brunch.
Factor in the fact that the organic farm consists of 2 raised garden beds growing daffodils and tomatoes from Ace Hardware, in which case most of those tomatoes are left unharvested and eaten by crows and caterpillars.
And the brunch? That MIGHT consist of toasted bagels and a glass of Tropicana orange juice, or a bowl of Kashi oat cereal and OH MY GOD LOOK HONEY GOATS MILK FROM THE 2 GOATS IN THE BACKYARD.
And so that leads me to my second biggest complaint about Air BnB: Its mostly a bunch of novelty overpriced bull shit that comes with most populist fads and new-age marketing hype. What next, free tarot card readings and get "lei'd" with a 3 night stay? Wait for it...
Of course, this is all so that we can post our "cottage Air BnB retreat" pictures all over Facebook and Instagram, so that we can make sure all of our former high school friends and coworkers think we are living that dreamier "oh so perfect" life that everyone wishes and PRETENDS to be living. Right. We got it Tom and Nancy, you blew a meteor-sized hole in your fuckin blue-collar savings account so that you could spend 3 days and 4 nights taking smartphone pictures of rotting tomatoes in some assholes backyard garden, and eating KrogeSafeway brand bagels sloppily ans overly-slathered in generic cream cheese.
Also, conveniently don't tell Facebook that the Air BnB failed to mention that part of the complimentary package included 2 spoiled pomeranians and an asshole tabby cat waking you up at 7am and getting their hair all over your clothes and luggage, or perhaps the neighbor wakin you up as they weed-whack the fenceline outside of your window.
Oui oui motherfuckers, post the edited over-saturated jpegs on FB/IG and hold on tight to your precious 30 likes and 3 smiley faces. Shhhhhhh and pretend that everyone thinks your living the Air BnB dream life and, in trade, we will all pretend we definitely-don't-know that you blew most of your savings and will spend the rest of the fiscal year half broke.
As an added bonus, we will all pretend-not-to-know that half your trip was arguing over directions with your fiance, buying over-priced refrigerator magnets for your nieces and nephews that say "Montana: Big Sky Country", and eating whatever luke-warm deep fried and microwaved garbage that's left up to grabs at Pilot/Flying J just off of Exit 302b. Vacaaaayyyyyy time lolz heheheh smiley fucking face surfboard emoticon...pfffff.
In going to be real here: Motel fucking 6 or any hotel that costs less than 100 a night will have 120 channels, a shower that actually gets cleaned every single day, free coffee, bagels/cereal/oranges/bananas/wtf-ever-continental-breakfast, free pool, and is likely 10x closer to the airport/national park/beach/gentrified-historic down town.
Oh, and bonus, it doesn't come with 2 loudass Pomeranians, an asshole cat, and some shitty neighbor jamming Pantera at 2am or weed whacking the fenceline at the break of dawn.
But hey, a picture of a Holiday Inn Express doesn't get 30 Facebook likes does it? Doubt it.
Alright. My rant is over. I have to do 2 weeks worth of laundry, buy a never-ending supply of shit for my sailboat, hand out appears ximately 3 cigarettes to 3 homebums loiteriv on bus benches, pretend that I have room in my laundry bag for a ripe coconut I found laying near a hotel sidewalk, and eventually get back to my sailboat.
And thank god for that boat or else I'd be shit out of luck trying to plant strawberries in central California and worrying about all of my shit getting stolen in the tent I ld assumably have hidden in the tree line next to the river.
Instead, I'll be doing Wednesday type shit that a hobo typically does on a boat: scraping barnacles, folding laundry, eating a coconut, drinking 2-3 beer, meticulously over-analyzing weather and wind predictions, read/listening to books, masturbating to lesbian Latina and Asian porn, cooking dinner and spillin it all over my boat, and writing more of my book.
Its Wednesday. Bleh. Play some Lana Del Rey or Led Zep and lets get this fucking day over with. Fridays only day after tomorrow and we gotta book that Spring Break Air BnB deal in San Diego and blow dat stimulus money woot woot!
Edit: edited 8 millions time for literacy and auro-correct typos.
Edit Two: Extra adjectives and F- bombs
Edit Three: Apparently its not even Wednesday. That's how terribly shitty Tuesday is folks, you're left in disillusion HOPING/PRETENDING its the second worse week of the day, Wednesday. Fuck it anyway, I'm a hobo, half the time I don't know what day it is anyway, plus the fact that I live in the middle of the fucking ocean and time doesn't even exist there anyway.
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2020.11.17 05:35 TryingHard8587 Does this sound like an emotional affair or am I unreasonably jealous?
When I started dating my partner (we're both women) two and a half years ago, she had a "best friend soulmate," whom I'll call "Susie." After my partner described Susie to me in dramatically and notably glowing and adoring tones, I asked why she never dated Susie. My partner answered, "She's 100% my type, but she's totally straight," in a very enthusiastic/emotional (not a matter-of-fact) tone. She then proceeded to tell me that Susie had tried to kiss her twice, but my partner didn't go along with it because Susie was drunk both times.
My partner basically adored this friend, talking about her in breathless tones and never finding anything at all wrong with her, no matter how rude or inconsiderate Susie would often be. With all her other friends, my partner is able to see both the good and bad in them, and talks about them in a balanced way, but Susie seemingly didn't have any flaws in her view. Luckily, Susie had moved to live 2,000 miles away right before we started dating; however, she still came back to visit every few months, at which times, I was suddenly swept to the side and my partner would be gaga to see her (she once remarked, "it's like Christmas when Susie comes to visit!!"). Most importantly, I could feel my partner's heart/mind switch focus from me to Susie every time she came to visit, seemingly without a thought for me or how I felt.
There are all kinds of photos on Facebook of the two of them, with my partner leaning her head on Susie's shoulder, eyes closed as if in some kind of rapture, or they are hugging intensely. There were romanticized statements below the photos such as "There are not enough words in the English language to express my love for you," or "When I left, I felt like a dying start, collapsing" (after Susie went home from a visit). They had pet names for each other. Their frequent texts were full of "I love yous" and "I miss yous" and heart emoticons.
My partner idolized little things about her, like, when she found out a restaurant served hot dogs, her response was "Susie loves hot dogs," apropos of nothing, as if what Susie likes to eat is so interesting on its own merits. Or when I saw a car key on her key chain and asked her about it (since she doesn't have a car), she waxed in an adoring tone, "That's Susie's car key," as if it was so special and precious to have this memento of Susie. (These things were not said as informative statements--they were said with a tone of loving adoration that I cannot convey in text.)
One of the things that really bothered me is the way I felt my partner prioritized Susie over me. Once during a visit, my partner hung up on me twice in a row when she was at an event with Susie--Susie interrupted our phone call both times by suddenly calling out to my partner (I could hear her calling my partner's name in the background). Another time, when my partner and I were on a date, Susie called and my partner talked with her for 40 minutes, despite knowing that I was upset about it because I gave her a clear look to communicate that I was not happy about it. When they hung up and I told her I was upset and told her that she could have told Susie they would talk another night when we were not together, my partner answered "But Susie still wanted to talk," as if her wants clearly superseded my wants and our time together. In addition, my partner was super excited about being invited to meet Susie's parents, excitedly telling me, "I get to meet her family." But when I wanted her to meet my sister (my parents are deceased), my partner expressed that she would be relieved if she didn't have to go. She even has a tattoo for Susie. (There are many, many more instances of this prioritizing of her over me, too many to detail here.)
I tried to convey to my partner how hurt I was that I was shunted aside so unceremoniously whenever Susie came to town and that it hurt that she so prioritized her over me. The first time I tried to talk to my partner about my feelings, her response was "But Susie is so wonderful!" as if that would make me feel better. The next few times (this situation went on for a year and a half), she was defensive. Later on, whenever Susie would come to visit and I would try to address things before the visit, set some boundaries, for example, my partner would swear she wouldn't prioritize Susie over me this visit, and then proceed to do just that, every time.
No matter how many times we talk about it, my partner consistently insists that she never had any romantic feelings for Susie. Also, Susie is now married to a man. I believe my partner, but I don't know how to make sense of it all.
I have to add that I am not normally a very jealous person--I didn't even feel upset that my partner stayed in the same hotel bed with a woman who my partner has said is "hot." And this same woman once told me she would totally be into my partner if she were gay. And there was drinking involved. I know it may sound odd that it didn't bother me, but I have seen the two of them together, and I just don't feel that kind of thing between them. They just seem like really good friends and I don't pick up on anything else, despite those statements about each other. However, with Susie, my gut feelings/alarm bells go off like crazy.
In many, many other ways, my partner is a wonderful person, although I know that may not come across in this post.
So although it's much less of an issue now, I would like advice about whether I am being crazy to have felt so upset about their relationship in the past. It seems like it was, at least, some kind of emotional affaiinvolvement because my partner adored Susie so much, ignored/didn't seem to care how hurt I felt when I told her about it, and consistently prioritized Susie over me to a dramatic extent. The truth is, even though they have distanced, it still bothers me that my partner put me through all that and let this person take precedence over me for so long. I would feel better if my partner could really see it and admit it was wrong and supremely hurtful to me, instead of making me feel like I have a problem that it bothered me so much. I also want my partner to be able to hear my pain around this now-past situation and show caring and concern rather than defensiveness and minimization. Is that unreasonable?
TL;DR*:* Would it bother you if your partner had an intense relationship with someone else who was in their attraction wheelhouse, and you were shunted to the side when that person was around, they exchanged lovey dovey messages to each other and called each other pet names, and the other person was consistently prioritized over you? In other words, am I being unreasonably jealous?
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2020.04.15 04:14 TryingHard8587 Jealousy over emotionally intense "friendship"--am I justified?
When I (60F, lesbian) started dating my partner (45F, lesbian) two and a half years ago, she had a "best friend soulmate," who I'll call "Susie." After my partner described Susie to me in dramatically and notably glowing and adoring tones, I asked why she never dated Susie. My partner answered, "She's 100% my type, but she's totally straight," in a very enthusiastic/emotional (not a matter-of-fact) tone. She then proceeded to tell me that Susie had tried to kiss her twice, but my partner didn't go along with it because Susie was drunk both times.
My partner basically adored this friend, talking about her in breathless tones and never finding anything at all wrong with her, no matter how rude or inconsiderate Susie would often be. With all her other friends, my partner is able to see both the good and bad in them, and talks about them in a balanced way, but Susie seemingly didn't have any flaws in her view. Luckily, Susie had moved to live 2,000 miles away right before we started dating; however, she still came back to visit every few months, at which times, I was suddenly swept to the side and my partner would be gaga to see her (she once remarked, "it's like Christmas when Susie comes to visit!!"). Most importantly, I could feel my partner's heart/mind switch focus from me to Susie every time she came to visit, seemingly without a thought for me or how I felt.
There are all kinds of photos on Facebook of the two of them, with my partner leaning her head on Susie's shoulder, eyes closed as if in some kind of rapture, or they are hugging intensely. There were romanticized statements below the photos such as "There are not enough words in the English language to express my love for you," or "When I left, I felt like a dying start, collapsing" (after Susie went home from a visit). They had pet names for each other. Their frequent texts were full of "I love yous" and "I miss yous" and heart emoticons.
My partner idolized little things about her, like, when she found out a restaurant served hot dogs, her response was "Susie loves hot dogs," apropos of nothing, as if what Susie likes to eat is so interesting on its own merits. Or when I saw a car key on her key chain and asked her about it (since she doesn't have a car), she waxed in an adoring tone, "That's Susie's car key," as if it was so special and precious to have this memento of Susie. (These things were not said as informative statements--they were said with a tone of loving adoration that I cannot convey in text.)
One of the things that really bothered me is the way I felt my partner prioritized Susie over me. Once during a visit, my partner hung up on me twice in a row when she was at an event with Susie--Susie interrupted our phone call both times by suddenly calling out to my partner (I could hear her calling my partner's name in the background). Another time, when my partner and I were on a date, Susie called and my partner talked with her for 40 minutes, despite knowing that I was upset about it because I gave her a clear look to communicate that I was not happy about it. When they hung up and I told her I was upset and told her that she could have told Susie they would talk another night when we were not together, my partner answered "But Susie still wanted to talk," as if her wants clearly superseded my wants and our time together. In addition, my partner was super excited about being invited to meet Susie's parents, excitedly telling me, "I get to meet her family." But when I wanted her to meet my sister (my parents are deceased), my partner expressed that she would be relieved if she didn't have to go. She even has a tattoo for Susie. (There are many, many more instances of this prioritizing of her over me, too many to detail here.)
I tried to convey to my partner how hurt I was that I was shunted aside so unceremoniously whenever Susie came to town and that it hurt that she so prioritized her over me. The first time I tried to talk to my partner about my feelings, her response was "But Susie is so wonderful!" as if that would make me feel better. The next few times (this situation went on for a year and a half), she was defensive. Later on, whenever Susie would come to visit and I would try to address things before the visit, set some boundaries, for example, my partner would swear she wouldn't prioritize Susie over me this visit, and then proceed to do just that, every time.
Since June of last year, my partner has greatly distanced from Susie, largely at my behest, and also because she has seen that Susie has actually never been there for her, but just wanted my partner around to flatter her and feed her ego. Susie is exceedingly shallow and superficial and all about herself, so she just wasn't a good friend to my partner, although it has been really hard for my partner to come to see her realistically. (I am not saying this because of my jealous feelings--Susie has actually been terribly self-centered and emphatically not there for my partner when she was having a really rough time that Susie knew about.)
No matter how many times we talk about it, my partner consistently insists that she never had any romantic feelings for Susie. Also, Susie is now married to a man. I believe my partner, but I don't know how to make sense of it all.
I have to add that I am not normally a very jealous person--I didn't even feel upset that my partner stayed in the same hotel bed with a woman who my partner has said is "hot." And this same woman once told me she would totally be into my partner if she were gay. And there was drinking involved. I know it may sound odd that it didn't bother me, but I have seen the two of them together, and I just don't feel that kind of thing between them. They just seem like really good friends and I don't pick up on anything else, despite those statements about each other. However, with Susie, my gut feelings/alarm bells go off like crazy.
In many, many other ways, my partner is a wonderful person, although I know that may not come across in this post.
So although it's much less of an issue now, I would like advice about whether I am being crazy to have felt so upset about their relationship in the past. It seems like it was, at least, some kind of emotional affaiinvolvement because my partner adored Susie so much, ignored/didn't seem to care how hurt I felt when I told her about it, and consistently prioritized Susie over me to a dramatic extent. The truth is, even though they have distanced, it still bothers me that my partner put me through all that and let this person take precedence over me for so long. I would feel better if my partner could really see it and admit it was wrong and supremely hurtful to me, instead of making me feel like I have a problem that it bothered me so much. I also want my partner to be able to hear my pain around this now-past situation and show caring and concern rather than defensiveness and minimization. Is that unreasonable?
TL;DR*:* Would it bother you if your partner had an intense relationship with someone else who was in their attraction wheelhouse, and you were shunted to the side when that person was around, they exchanged lovey dovey messages to each other and called each other pet names, and the other person was consistently prioritized over you? In other words, am I being unreasonably jealous?
Note: Although I do think the age difference between me and my partner may play some part in that I am especially prone to feeling insecure (Susie is half my age after all!), I really do think, no matter our ages, this situation would really bother me.
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2020.03.18 20:33 TinderGuy11 Entitled Mother owned an online store
A brief backstory, I own a company that specializes in various wedding services and last year I decided to add gift-boxes to the list of services we offer. You know, those ones that brides and grooms sometimes give to their bridal parties the morning, right before the ceremony.
However, I didn't really want to do them myself and therefore set out to find an affordable supplier that could put the boxes together and sell them through my company...sound simple? Continue reading...
So I came across a website that offered this service, their products were slightly cheaper than many other suppliers, yet not so cheap that it looked suspicious. The turn around time for the products on the website said 5 - 10 working days, which seemed fine to me.
I wanted to see the quality of their products first, so I placed an order which included 1 of just about everything they were selling. As far as they knew, I was a groom buying things for my wedding.
I got the invoice straight away, paid it, got an email back from the owner stating that my payment had been received and she'll let me know once my order has been dispatched - so far so good.
Now, I'll admit this was something I wanted to do, but it wasn't a massive priority in my life...therefore I didn't even notice when she missed the 10 working days cut off time...nor did I notice when 20 working days had passed. I mean every now and then I'd remember, tell myself to follow up and then forget about it again.
It was after more than a month had passed that I eventually remembered to follow up with her and I was super polite, literally just asking if she perhaps had an update to when the order would be dispatched.
It took her about 3 days to respond, asking if I could please forward her the proof of payment again, I did so. She took another day, replied that she vaguely remembers me, but asked that I please send the invoice again as she couldn't remember what I had ordered...I did so.
Upon receiving the invoice, she said that the waiting period is 5 - 10 working days, when I pointed out that it was already more than 30, she said that it wasn't her fault that she couldn't find my order.
At this point, it felt almost pointless even arguing with her as it was obvious I definitely would not be using her as my new supplier, but I had spent quite a bit of money on this, so I still wanted my product.
Another 10 working days passed and no updates, I followed up again...this time she responded saying that she had unfairly been forced to pay taxes and therefore didn't have money to order from her suppliers. I told her that was tough, but not really my problem.
Cut to her switching over from emails to WhatsApp and the rest of her correspondence being mostly voice notes. Queue voice note #1 where she yells at me and says that she's never dealt with anyone as impatient in her life and she feels so sorry for my fiance. With weekends included, I had been waiting about 50 days and the "that's not really my problem" was the only time I had been even slightly rude.
I messaged her that that was a slight overreaction.
She voice noted back (paraphrased slightly as I no longer have the voice notes, but pretty close): "You have no idea what I've been through lately, MY CHILD has been in the hospital and you think you're more important than he is?! I can't believe people like you exist, you make me sick!"
I was slightly taken aback by this. Now I should mention, I had placed this order so long ago that I had actually forgotten what her business was called, and now I was quite curious to go look it up on Facebook. I asked her for a link to her Facebook page.
She replied with another voice note: "That is so typical, well I have a business and you have a business, yes you think I didn't Facebook stalk you? So if you write one word about me on Facebook I will DESTROY you and your business, my lawyer is going to take you for everything you own."
I actually started laughing at that one, sending a voice note back and asking her to please tell me what she thought she could possibly sue me for.
She voice noted again: "I am a single mother and I'm sick, I have been in hospital and I don't have to take this from you, so go, GO review me on Facebook, fudge you, Fudge YOU."
I said I would if she wanted me to, but I still couldn't remember the name of her business.
She replied again, "I'm not going to tell you the name of my business so you can slander me, you're sick in the head."
I shrugged, went into my email and quickly looked up the name of her business. I found her Facebook page quite easily, the reviews were actually quite good up until about a month before where the general theme was basically that she wasn't delivering and screaming and cursing at clients. I thought about adding one, but it really wasn't my style.
I messaged her again, telling her that I found her page, but if she'd please just either refund me or complete the order, then there would be no reason for me to write about this.
She replied, calmly this time, that she appreciates my patience and she'll have the order ready for me to come collect in a week. I pointed out that I had paid extra for shipping so I shouldn't have to come collect it and she replied with that thumbs up emoticon that I detest so very much.
So another week goes by and again nothing, I left it for another 4 days and then messaged her.
She replied saying that the order is complete, but all the couriers are on strike, so she can't send it. This was a complete fabrication as I work with couriers constantly and definitely would have known if there was a nationwide courier strike.
However, I wanted to get this over with, so I replied and told her that I'll just come collect it myself then.
She replied, asking when? I said I could come the next day, she replied saying that was impossible as her father had passed away the night before and they were in mourning.
I HATE it when people do that because yes, it's obviously a lie, but on that 1% chance that it isn't...
I replied I'm sorry for her loss and I'll contact her again on Monday.
Monday comes, I contact her again and ask when I can come collect. She says "Wednesday" I say cool.
Wednesday morning I message her and ask her what time, she replies that "today isn't convenient."
I reply back saying that this isn't going to take time, I will drive up to her gate, she can hand me the package and I'll be on my way. She replied, voice note again, "No offense, but after the way you have treated me, I don't feel safe being alone when you come and I need my husband to be here."
I laughed again, replying that I thought she said she was a single mother?
Queue her phoning me and screaming at me, I actually don't recall what she said but somewhere in-between it was decided that I could come the next day.
The next day I message her to ask a time, she says she won't be available, but she'll personally be bringing the order to me the next day.
I reply, "Sure, whatever."
The next morning I message her what time I can expect her, she says she has to collect her children from school at 13:00, so she'll come after that. I point out that I very strongly suggest she comes before that because the afternoon traffic on the highway is going to be insane on a Friday.
She replies that she doesn't mind the traffic and her customers ALWAYS comes first.
At 12:30 she messages me that she's on her way to collect her children and she'll come straight after. I was truly shocked, thinking that this was finally almost over.
Cut forward to 16:00...and nothing. I message her to ask her how far she is, she replies that the afternoon traffic was too much and I was being unreasonable expecting her to come deliver it in traffic like that.
I replied, "Fine, so when are you going to deliver it?" She replied that she'll come the next day. I replied that I wouldn't be home, but gave her my then girlfriend's number and told her to simply call her when she's on her way.
I came home the next evening and, of course, she hadn't come. I messaged her the Monday asking what had happened, she replied that they had had guests all weekend and she didn't have the time.
Hearing this, I told her that I really did not want her product anymore and that I would really appreciate a refund. Queue another voice note, (paraphrased again): "Fudge you you grunt, I have gone out of my way for you and now you want a refund, no! No! No! You will not get a refund, fudge you, my child was in the hospital all weekend and I didn't have time to deal with your garbage above that, fudge you, I hope you die and that your business goes bankrupt, you fudging grunt."
At this point, I was done dealing with her and said, "Fine, you win, keep the money and go well."
She replied that she's not a criminal and she's bringing my stuff through right now, because how dare I treat her like she's a criminal and she always puts her clients first.
I replied that I really didn't want it anymore and she could save herself the trip. She replied that she's on her way and I blocked her.
About a month later, I was entering my security complex when the security guard said he had received a delivery for me. I wasn't expecting anything, so had no idea what it was.
Imagine my surprise when I saw that she had actually come to deliver the product...even though half the groom items said "bride" and half the bride items said "groom".
The next day I got an email from her asking me to please review her business...I didn't, but her website and Facebook page have since been removed. I hope she's not doing business under a new name, because I feel for anyone that has to deal with her.
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EntitledPeople [link] [comments]
2020.03.09 21:02 NeighborhoodTrolley How to Handle Getting Dumped Like a Pro
How to Handle Getting Dumped Like a Pro
📷
Oh God, I feel your pain. I really do. Chances are if you are reading this, it's because you have recently experienced a breakup, and holy hell it sucks. Hi, I'm NeighborhoodTrolley, and I have a background in Psychology and Human Development. I have also experienced the aftermath of (many) breakups.
A long time ago, the reddit community helped me through one of the most painful break ups of my life, and I am forever grateful for the kind words and support I received after the fact. Since then, I have gained more experience and knowledge of the dating world, and been able to add to my ever expanding pool of perspective....not to mention reading every breakup self-help book there is. By the time this breakup happened, I already knew what to do, and it has made this tough process that much easier. I'd like to share it with you.
1. No contact. Immediately. I mean it. No matter what kind of advice you receive on this subject, online, in books, from therapists, you will find that the one thing they ALL agree on is no contact, starting right from the moment you hear the words "I can't do this." That means no texts, no phone calls, no drunken phone calls, no facebook messages, no status commentary, No snapchats of you crying, NOTHING. I can't stress how important this is, and unfortunately it is the hardest part of all.
When somebody breaks up with you, no matter what bullshit reason they offered, it is because they don't want to be with you anymore. That means they don't want to hear from you either. Breaking up is a difficult, and anxiety-producing action for the person doing the dumping no matter what the remaining feelings, and afterwards you can bet they are going to want their space from you...plus some pretty solid reassurance that you aren't going to become a crazy psycho-stalker afterwards. That means not harassing him with your heartfelt paragraphs of what you are feeling at this very raw time, not "checking up on him", and not sending him sad face emoticons (I learned that never elicits a pleasing response a longggg time ago). He needs time to process, you need time to process, and every time you make a fool of yourself texting things you will most definitely regret later, the response you receive (or don't receive) will be like getting dumped all over again. You only need to hear it once, ok? You are at the beginning stages of removing what you thought was a permanent fixture from your life, and it now serves you no purpose to keep putting yourself in a position to get continuously rejected. If he wants to get in touch again, he will, and you can decide from there how to respond, but don't ever chase a man. Preserve your dignity and take some baby steps towards "out of sight, out of mind." It helps a lot in time.
In addition to saving yourself some unnecessary grief, you will also instantly become more mysterious, more powerful, in an area in which you feel like you have none. He broke up with you, he expects you to be upset. Why aren't you showing it? Why aren't you openly pining for him? What are you doing with your now open schedule? He may not ever say these things to you directly, but you can bet he will think them at some point. If nothing else, it makes you seem a little bit more attractive to your now ex, and gives him a nice little poke to the ego WHILE accelerating your healing. Please don't contact your ex. Do not give him the satisfaction of knowing that you are still openly available to him while he carries on doing whatever he wants. You are stronger than that.
2. Do not Stalk your Ex on Social Media This is another one everybody involved with the subject agrees on, and for good, good reasons. Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat...all of these things are small, fake little cutouts of the big picture, but you will fail to see it that way when you're crying over his status update about how freaking happy he is with his bros at the bar. And you'll invent things in your mind based on what you're seeing, and that will make it suck so much harder.
Why on earth would you want to torture yourself looking at the old pictures, while watching him virtually move on? Delete the pictures, do not give him the chance to untag them all (he will. It will suck.) Unfollow his friends and family so you don't get to accidentally see him in a photo. Unfollow him. Obviously. I'd say unfriend, everybody says unfriend, but if you have enough self control to not look at his page, I say don't bother. If you are doing a good job at no contact he WILL get curious. He will look at your page eventually. Make sure it's full of you being positive, and you looking reallllll good....you want him to be able to see that. So quick....delete that sad song lyric off your status...nobody ever completely regretting dumping someone because the girl posted part of 'wrecking ball' with a crying face and a heart. You are a fabulous person with a great attitude....at least in the face of the general online public. And to him.
3. Give Up the Ghost In order for this process to go as quickly as possible, (which could be weeks or months, it's different for everyone), and while doing all of your non-stalking and no-contacting, you need to accept that it is over. Some people reconcile, yes, but very,very few, and you must always view your situation as the rule, not the exception. You will seriously hinder your process if you cannot accept that what you had is finished. You will keep hope somewhere in your heart, in a place where it doesn't belong, and it is going to hurt just as bad, if not more, when that gets crushed too. It is so difficult to face yourself and your reality, to stand there in the mirror and say "He is not coming back. My life has changed. My future is undetermined." But the clearer you are with yourself, even in the throws of unrelenting grief, the faster your mind will begin to help you adjust to the new change, and the faster you will be able to get out of bed in the morning without being pissed that you woke up. You are strong, you are capable, you have the strength to be honest with yourself and begin your path to healing. Abandon all hope, ye who yearns for reconciliation. Put all your hope into the thoughts of good things to come instead.
4. Understand What's Happening Inside your Mind When healing a physical illness, the doctor must first understand what is happening inside your body to know how to fix it. In the case of a breakup, you are your own doctor, and I think it is imperative that you be aware of what's happening physically inside your mind to better help you understand your feelings and behaviors and begin to heal.
When we are in love or infatuation (the difference between the two is a whole different article) your brain is producing oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin. These chemicals create those bonding, loving, and butterfly feelings you have when you're really into somebody...ESPECIALLY when you are physically intimate with them over a period of time. We are hard-wired to operate this way. Evolution theory says that the purpose of this is to keep partners together when inevitably raising children...it was easier to protect the young from predators and raise them to adulthood with two able-bodied humans on the same team. These primitive feelings and chemical releases are basic functions of our brains, and holy hell are they hard to remove once somebody bails.
The important thing to remember is that the production of these powerful chemicals, the resulting feelings of which you are projecting onto your former partner, will absolutely fade over time if given the appropriate chance. Every profile pic you stare at re-releases them in trace amounts, and every text you send to him couples those chemicals with adrenaline, a dangerous and hindering combination. So don't.do.it.
The really really tough part is that they play some pretty hardcore tricks on you when you are grieving. The oxytocin will make you crave the physical intimacy from him like a drug, and the dopamine will idealize the person in your mind....it will ask you to recall only the happy memories, only the things you loved about them, only the things that made you PERFECT for each other and
what the hell is wrong with him, I just need to make him see how good we are together. Stop. Your own mind is trying to sabotage you. Force yourself to write down all the things you DON'T like about him, and make sure to review that list frequently. As the dopamine starts to loosen it's grip on you, that list will seem more and more valid. And guess what, it is.
So just remember, when you're in the middle of a really hard moment that you're not sure how to get through, it's just those pesky chemicals acting up again, and your body cannot physically maintain that level of escalation forever. They will begin to fade, it's basic science. I promise you.
5. He is Not the One, the Universe is Trying to Help You "Ohhh but yes he is." Says your heart to me. "He is and we are perfect for each other and he just doesn't see it yet." No. Again, stop it. It's the chemicals talking, trying to make you miserable. He is not the one. The one will stay. You will never have to say "he just doesn't see it yet" about the one. The one always sees. The one would never make you feel the way you do right now. You couldn't see that, You couldn't stop idealizing him enough to recognize what the relationship lacked, but the one who dumped you saw for you, thank god. Painful as it is, hard as it may be to live in the wide open and undetermined future, you are being slowly moved along to what should be. You must get through and past this to get to the greater good. And you can. And you will. It is not a choice. And one day, you will wake up next to the person who will stay, who will think it's absolutely mind blowing that this idiot gave you up, and who could have never come to you if you didn't take every step necessary to begin again. Remind yourself through this process that he was not right for you, because otherwise, you would still be together. This debilitating heartache will one day become a distant memory, and you will be happy again. You can do it.
6. A Public Run In I sincerely hope you are not trying to run into him purposefully, because that violates all no contact, no stalking rules, but if you do happen to see him at the bar, at a restaurant, on the street, etc., you say "hi how are you" (as a statement, not a question), and you reply "great thanks" when he says the same, and then you
get the hell out of there. I have had a few occasions in the now very distant past, where I ran into an ex, drunk and sad, and made an absolute ass of myself because I just couldn't tear myself away. We get these fantasy thoughts in our head, like,
well he saw me and I look fabulous and he must feel the same way I do about seeing him because all my feelings came flooding back when I looked at his face and he'll come over and confess his undying love soon blah blah blah. But of the times this has happened to me, this fantasy scenario has never occured. Because this person broke up with me and he doesn't feel that way. So, I'd get drunker, and more desperate, and at the end of the night would be crying and hanging off of him while his friends tried to pry me off. True story, worthy of
cringe and horrifyingly embarrassing. Not cute at all....please don't let it happen to you. It is not attractive or classy. If you want to do this like a pro, you've got to be real casual, and then you've got to disappear. You are a mysterious enigma...you don't stroke his dumper ego by sticking around and waiting for his attention. The time I finally gained enough experience to do this, I got a text an hour later, "seeing you blew my mind. You look amazing. Where did you go?" It was such a challenge to drag myself right out the door when I saw him there...it's all I thought about. But I'm glad I did, because you know what? I win. You can too.
7. You Are Awesome. Even if You Can't See it Now Just the fact that you are reading this article, feeling how you are feeling, already proves that you are a caring person, capable of love and affection for another. That is an amazing thing! You gave your heart and your all to somebody, and those intangible items don't just return to you overnight. It takes time, it takes a little bit of self control (ok, alot to not stalk facebook), and it takes letting the grief flow through and out of you until it's gone, no matter how long that takes. Allow yourself your sadness when you feel it, tears release stress hormones and it is emotionally cleansing. It's ok to have these moments, it's ok to feel sad for awhile. You are releasing someone's grip from your heart. It hurts! Say to it,
hello sadness. Here you are again. Come do what you must, but please don't stay too long. Getting dumped is unarguably one of the most difficult human experiences one can have. Along with mourning the loss of physical and emotional intimacy with someone you saw a future with, your self-worth and esteem get wiped out. Your ego is bruised and your heart is so broken that you don't feel like you'll ever be yourself again. It's lonely, and it's exhausting. But it is something pretty much all of us go through at one time or another, and you are not alone. At any given time, there are millions out there who are going through exactly what you are at this time, and can relate to you better than you could ever imagine. I'm one of them. But it's up to you how you deal with this, what steps you take.
You are open now to learn how to fully and completely find ways to love yourself, so that the next person doesn't complete you or fill your voids, but instead positively adds his whole self to your whole self. You don't need no man, you need to heal, and then you need to love you so somebody else can. It is all part of the roller coaster human experience. You.Can.Get.Through.This.
Love.
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2019.08.05 06:31 Klutzy_Bed I (31F) feel like I can never live up my boyfriend's (34M) ex-wife(32F) and his ex-gf (30F) who he seems to idolize and defend.
Alright, so before you begin bashing my new boyfriend of 9 months. He's the best guy I've ever dated. He's sweet, thoughtful, charming, smart, seems to really like me. Loves spending time with me.
He talks a lot but never bores me, he makes me excited, I feel excited to always see him. He's surprisingly good and dominant in bed. He's handsome, got a great body, dresses well, dances well. Honestly, he hits everything I could ever want.
Except for two weird things, well it's really one when you think about it.
A great guy like him obviously must have dated some attractive women right? Well, not only he did, he married one and had a long relationship with another. Let's talk about each a bit.
Ex-wife: Fitness model and extremely smart career woman, who is gorgeous, charming, and left him to date some super rich model guy who has his on business. She's also a very very popular kizomba dancer on youtube (i'll get to that in a moment).
His ex-gf: An even more attractive, glamorous looking, super-wealthy Instagram model, who actually runs a successful chain of makeup stores.
On looks alone, I can't compete, his wife has a body like JLo and his ex-gf is like movie star glam pretty. I'm very attractive too, I know I look good, but these women are on a different level, especially given their career success. I've got a normal paper-pushing office job.
But anywhere, here's the part that bugs me, he's still close friends with both. He made it clear from the beginning his divorce was amicable, and he also made it clear, after he and his ex-gf broke up they were best friends for years, until his wife put a stop to it. But now since the divorce, he's close to her again.
Every day, I see him chatting with his ex-GF.
I know I should not have snooped, but I opened his WhatsApp chat with her, and I was not comfortable with many things.
The bad:
- They have pet names for each other, Why????
- She sends hearts, hugs, and kisses emoticon
- She's with another guy right now, but will send him stuff like "jus had a bad fight with Tom, wish i could see you now and blow off some steam". He'll often reply that he can't, but maybe he can make time for her a next day.
- A handful of times, she'll send random selfies, nothing overly sexy. But one was in a thong bodysuit but she has that posted on her IG anyway so it wasn't just for him, She was asking him though if it's good enough to post, so it seems he did see it first (kinda irks me now).
The good:
- Their actual conversation is less than I thought, and maybe weeks will go by when it's just casual chat about movies, netflix, mutual friends, business decisions and just funny memes.
- He does not flirt back, he never sends hearts, kisses, etc first, always in reciprocation to her
- He says nice things about me, things like it's going well with me. I saw a msg he sent her after our first date, and he said "Klutzy is way cooler and more fun than I thought, really good first date and she looked hot AF"
So overall good right? He's seen her 3 times since we've started dating. Only once they met alone for coffee, the other times were around people.
Now, here's the issue I have with his ex-wife. He's constantly, on her IG, watching her youtube dance videos, talking about her as if she were some celebrity he idolizes.
They don't chat that frequently, maybe once every few days, but she keeps him informed on her life a lot.
It's also a bit off-putting how excited and 'proud' of her he is. It's hard to describe, but he'll say things like "I saw Mandy's going to be featured in some music video, that's awesome, I'm sure she must be stoked".
Or on another occasion, she was in some Facebook argument about how religion isn't compatible with feminism, and he jumped in into and defended her viewpoint totally.
So, am I being to jealous? I 100% know I'm more jealous than I should be because of their looks and his past with them, I've never been a controlling type and I enjoy that he gives me freedom and trust too. He doesn't get jealous of my guy friends, he doesn't ask if I banged them or not, he's cool with them all. We ran into my ex once, and he was very friendly with him too.
Also, is his relationship with his ex-gf, or the way he idolizes his ex-wife, weird? A red flag? I want to tell him about it, but I don't know if I'm making too big a deal.
tldr;
New boyfriend seems too close to his gorgeous ex-gf and also idolizes his ex-wife in a weird way (like he sees her like some celebrity). Don't know if my feelings are being misguided because they're both super attractive, of if I'm being too jealous.
submitted by
Klutzy_Bed to
relationships [link] [comments]
2019.07.22 09:30 lavieenlavande Was My Blind Date a Narc?
A friend set me up on a blind date with her cousin. He was very charming at first. Maybe so much that I overlooked some of the things that really made me uncomfortable. I just started seeing signs that he may be narc when he texted me a couple days after. First sign was calling me stupid each time on something he misunderstood. I just let it go because he wasn't that fluent in English, the only language we share. And he seem to have said it in playful manner, too. Second was telling me "I wish people would give me as much attention as give them." or "I feel bad for myself sometimes." whenever I would reply to him later than when he texts me. Third was telling me "You're a bitch." then following it with laughing emoticons, connoting that it was a joke. Not buying it. When I said I'll try to text him back faster next time, he just replied "I'm going to treat you like you treat me." Like he's having a competition with me. Last straw was him telling me to change my Facebook status to In A Relationship so I could just talk with him. He doesn't want me "talking to other guys". And that I'm hurting him when I do that. I ain't even dating him. And also some things that I think was inappropriate for me to tell here.
He's a jerk. But I was wondering if I was overreacting and overthinking at some of it? If I was at fault, too? If he was a narc that I think he is? I could also use some pointers in recognizing narcs especially when dating, if anyone would be kind to share. Thank you.
submitted by
lavieenlavande to
NarcissisticAbuse [link] [comments]
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