Long term effects of lamictal

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2013.10.28 00:21 LitecoinMarkets

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2013.10.16 19:48 ruseweek Microdosing: sub-threshold dosing of psychedelic drugs for self-improvement, therapy or well-being

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2024.06.09 01:30 callmeejess Baby not waking to feed

My baby is 12 days old. He was born 5 weeks premature, but was weight/length of an average term baby (6lb 5oz and 20 inches long). Doctors and lactation have advised us to wake him every 2-3 hours to feed at the breast and supplement with bottles for the first few weeks. We have been trying this, but he is adamant on staying asleep. It usually takes an hour to wake him effectively for feeds and even then his breastfeeding latches are inconsistent. Is it worth spending that whole hour trying to wake him or is it safe to just let him sleep a little longer? There have been situations where we’ve had to push his feed an hour or so for various appointments and he does great at those feeds. Unlike when i try to wake him and struggle for an hour. I’ve tried changing his diaper, doing his post-tongue tie release exercises, cold cloth on his back, and undressing him to get him to wake up. Usually without any luck. Just looking for support/similar experiences? I think he’s getting enough to eat because he has frequent wet and dirty diapers and is gaining weight steadily. My supply is also great, even after a feed I’m pumping a couple of ounces per breast. Thanks in advance for any advice/support!
submitted by callmeejess to breastfeedingsupport [link] [comments]


2024.06.09 01:29 Kioga101 The Ancient Weapons and Possible Real-life Equivalents

The Ancient Weapons. Supposedly weapons of mass destruction that led the front of the Void Century War, so powerful as to erase an island on a single use and raise the world's water levels by meters. We have over the years received small amounts of information on them, and as of 1117 I believe that we can make a pretty solid guess as to what they do (or can do), and as every piece of fiction is an abstraction of the real world and the author's thoughts, I found it interesting to try and relate the ancient weapons with real world weapons that have been planned and researched over the years... Plus a few bonuses because why not. I'm basically just compiling and resuming dozens of wikipedia articles so feel free to go there to know more.

The Ancient Weapons:

PLUTON

Even though Pluton was revealed first, we know surprisingly little about it compared to the other weapons. That said, we know it is some sort of super ship with considerable power, enough to be thought of as unbeatable by anything other than another Ancient Weapon (which is what led to the preservation of Pluton's blueprints until Franky burned them). This makes it easy to make an educated guess because we do already have something of the sort in the real world, something that Oda "surprisingly" hasn't really used in his story's naval combat. I'm talking about aircraft carriers and their general class of ship. The modern flagship of a modern fleet. Until now, we haven't seen anything beyond battleships in the story.
Fleet with four aircraft carriers.
Now, Aircraft Carriers. They don't translate very well to One Piece, after all they have not discovered planes and that technology -- Pluton could have a fleet of aircraft inside of it but in my opinion that's reaching -- yet. It doesn't need to go that far either.
The biggest publicized aircraft carriers, according to the Wikipedia, are about 320 meters in length or about 1050 something feet on average. The longest one ever being the latest USS Enterprise -- the first ever nuclear powered aircraft carrier inaugurated in 1958 -- which is now decommissioned and the biggest and still active ship being the USS Gerald R. Ford that replaced the Enterprise with its class of ships (the class is named after the lead ship). Through my research, aircraft carriers can be as small as 234,40 meters (769ft) but the aircraft carrier exclusive size, the one where only aircraft carriers have is about 300 meters long (~984 ft) and higher.
USS Gerald R. Ford.
These ships are known for the cream of the crop, and their ability to serve as a hangar for other ships, most commonly aircraft. But that's not all they have in store. general features of an aircraft carrier:
Possible considered upgrades to modern aircraft carriers (technology discovered or made efficient after the ships were built) include:
Besides that, there are also types of aircraft carriers like escort carriers, amphibious assault ships, anti-submarine warfare carriers and more that are specialized on other things.
USS Iwo Jima, an Amphibious Assault Ship type Aircraft Carrier.
What does this all mean?
This means that if Pluton is indeed inspired on an aircraft carrier, you can expect something with the qualities I described like carrying aircraft could be carrying other regular ships instead; the island of the ship could actually be an island; it could shoot missiles instead of cannonballs or lasers; it could have a robot crew operating it (like those in Enel's cover story) or a super autonomous klabautermann; it could have built-in detection systems for Sea Kings, ships and people; it could make Den Den Mushi useless like the EM wave stuff does to comms; be powered by the mother flame if nuclear power is analogous to it... These are things that you can expect coming from the weapon when it is fully unveiled.

POSEIDON

Poseidon is a living person, and she commands Sea Kings. It is the ancient weapon we probably know the most about. It is also the one that is a bit weird to translate to a real world weapon as Sea Kings and sea creatures, alive and stuff. We don't have a fleet of secret specially trained Dolphins or something irl... probably.
A classic panel, legendary even, showcasing the Sea Kings in their nest in the Calm Belt.
Still! There is a type of vehicle that is pretty much the king of sea warfare, and a type of soldier that works well with it. Poseidon can be a mixture of Nuclear Submarines, Shock Troopers, Frogmen and Commandos.
Nuclear submarine, and people on it!
Sea Kings are known to be very hard to detect underwater, and to be able to cause a lot of damage to a regular or unprepared ship. Sea Kings also grow in both size and intelligence with time, making these older Sea Kings powerful and smart chess pieces.
Nuclear submarines are made to be stealthy and to hold a lot of power with their torpedoes and missiles. They go undetected and strike critical hits on the enemy's fleet multiple times if possible. They can also allow for the infiltration into the enemy line, and advanced espionage. The fact they use nuclear power allows them to stay way more time deployed than a regular one that uses conventional fuel. Thankfully when it comes to features submarines like those are way simpler, not that they're not effective, they're very effective.
Another thing is that Nuclear Submarine CAN be armed with nuclear weapons. I don't know how that would translate to a Sea King.
Shock Troops are special troops made to lead an attack on the enemy. Hit first and hit hard, Commandos are special units that go behind the enemy line to do critical missions and Frogmen are combat swimmers that specialize in doing underwater combat, recon, tactical stuff.
a Frogman underwater.
They may even be able to influence ocean currents in some way, a virtue of their number and size. Poseidon is in a way simpler to interpret and understand than the other two, but it doesn't need it. Such a huge marine force can do a LOT in a world mostly made of islands.

URANUS

The newest one to be teased and the first one we got to see working! From high above it strikes dozens and dozens of strikes, each a beam of apparent red light that razes the target until all that remains is a huge hole in the sea. It is confirmed to lead to a rise in sea levels!
The Lulusia Kingdom never... existed.
The first thing that comes to mind to a visual reader is a Laser Weapon, in real life they aren't all that crazy but fiction is different. DragonFire is a new weapon that is being developed by the British and is said to be used in their Royal Navy by 2027, Laser Defense Systems like the Israeli Iron Beam also come to mind. No doubt military all over the world are researching the possibility of making a super laser pointer to stop anything electronic that comes nearby, sadly, the melting/ vaporizing beam or even Cyclops "Punch Force" beams are not realistic. Laser technology is being developed as we speak and systems that allow for a reasonable charging and firing of a beam is in our futures, only that they'll stop missiles and drones and stuff, probably blind a bird or a pilot maybe. It takes too long for a laser to heat up something for a combat application like the ones in our dreams, it'll remain a thing of the future for a while. Nothing of that spy movie satellite laser stuff (at least not with lasers).
DragonFire being tested.
The first thing that comes to mind to a contextual reader is the Thermonuclear Weapon, a Nuke, I don't need to explain about nukes, everyone knows what it can do and how it gets there and stuff. Nowadays a nation can launch one of those bombs in a missile from strategically placed military bases that have been planned for the best mutual destruction possible. You can always put one in a plane and drop it or in the previously mentioned Nuclear Submarine. They're way more powerful than those infamous nuclear bombs from WW2, they're Hydrogen Bombs now, optimized nuclear fission made to instigate a chain reaction with the most available particle in the surface of Earth. It basically gets the air itself to release energy.
Now comes the fun part to me, finding other weapons besides the most obvious that could've been integrated into the design of Uranus. I'll make a list:
an M777 type Howitzer
fictional image of what it could be. It's a proven concept but not practical irl at all.
how a FOBS works. it launches and evades the usual north facing radars.
That's pretty much it. From what we know, whatever it was based on, it needs to move to be over the target and needs Mother Flame to work. It looks like a laser and it completely erases an island to an incredible depth.

BONUS:

Shinokuni in action. You can look up Pompeii's \"statues\" yourself.
submitted by Kioga101 to OnePieceSpoilers [link] [comments]


2024.06.09 01:28 Cosmolias [25/M] - Looking for more long term friends

Hiya! I'm on the hunt for some long term friends to vibe with. Huge bonus points if you live near Seattle/in the PNW.
About me:
That’s a bit about me. If I caught your attention and I seem interesting, shoot me a message. Please include some basic info about you like age and what not, as well as a random question for me :)
Also, Reddit messaging is trash, so I'd like to move the conversation off of Reddit sooner rather than later.
submitted by Cosmolias to MeetNewPeopleHere [link] [comments]


2024.06.09 01:28 _HGCenty Season 4 v Season 7

One of the popular theories floating around the fandom which I think has a lot of merit is the reboot theory. Namely this says Tim Minear was using Season 7 to get the characters back to where he left them at the end of Season 4 when he stepped away as showrunner, and then tell the stories in Season 8 that he wanted to tell in Season 5 onwards. Although I'll admit it feels a bit odd to effectively undo two entire seasons and still have the showrunner for those seasons (Kristen Reidel) still on the writing team.
If this is true, one important consequence is that it pushes back against the narrative that Tim is chaos and didn't have a destination in mind as he was writing the season. It would suggest the season was more planned than what fans are saying based on how rushed they found the finale. Nevertheless, the finale was still incredibly rushed filming wise, with the show wrapping less than 2 weeks before the finale was due to air, and the crew being made to work crazy shifts at that. Furthermore, cast members were getting scripts for critical scenes the night before and Tim even said he was "laying the tracks as the train was coming".
In this post I'm going to compare where the main characters have been left off at the end of Season 4 compared to Season 7, and my own personal opinion as to how much their arcs in Season 7 felt planned or improvised. Sit down, get comfortable, this is going to be a long post!
Bobby and Athena
Of all the characters that give credence to the Season 7 finale is rebooting from Season 4 finale, it's Bobby and Athena. They are the characters whose finale bears most similarity to Season 4:
Given then Bobby and Athena were the main A plot in over half the episodes of the season (7x01 - 7x03 and 7x08 - 7x10), their story arc must have been the core plot that underpinned writing of the season. Also, given that Peter and Angela are Executive Producers of the show, these are the characters that Tim has least ability to mess around in terms of last minute rewrites or filming date changes.
This makes me think the entire arc, along with Amir, was planned out long ahead of time and that the season was always going to end with Athena being an action hero against the cartel and Bobby recovering from his injuries. But it felt like Tim took on too many other storylines and they ran out of time and so had to force Athena chasing the cartel into the finale in a way that absolutely felt wrong pacing wise. All in all in felt like both bookends of the Bathena story felt at least half an episode too long and in a ten episode season, using six to tell their story made it difficult to satisfyingly tell many other characters' arc, even if Bathena's was completely planned from the start.
Hen and Karen
Hen and Karen are probably the characters with the next most similar endings in Season 7 compared to Season 4. The key difference though is at the end of Season 4, Nia is reuinted with her birth mother and further Henren contact with her is uncertain whereas Mara is with Maddie and Chimney and therefore we know Henren will still be in close contact. Furthermore, Season 7 leaves Hen with a cloud (Ortiz) in a way she didn't have at the end of Season 4.
The issue though is that to get to a similar place as in Season 4, Tim had to essentially rehash the same fostering storyline for Season 7, making the entire season for Hen feel a little stale and a sense of "we've seen this before". It's also telling that Tim quickly jettisoned the ending Kristen gave Hen in Season 6 of adopting a baby and had them adopt a girl of roughly the same age as Nia, had she continued to Season 7. That Tim was willing to do that makes me think if the reboot theory is true, Tim had wanted to have Nia and her mum return in Season 5, which never happened, and he's this time putting Mara in Madney's care to ensure they do find a sibling for Denny this time.
Again, the fact Tim used the same storyline he had done previously suggests that this was probably planned all along for this season. Tim also said in interviews he wanted more Hen and Maddie interactions, noticeable in the cruise ship arc, and this fostering arc also allowed for the Madney and Henren moments.
Buck
It is widely speculated that Tim had wanted to make Buddie happen with the Season 4 sniper arc finale but the storyline was canned by someone above him at the studio, and that this contributed to Tim stepping away from showrunning OG 9-1-1 for Lone Star. Therefore there's two versions of the end of Season 4 Tim could have aimed for: the actual end and the ending he originally wanted.
With Buck coming out as bisexual, Buck is certainly closer to Tim's original ending. Ignoring the gender of his love interest, Buck is actually in a very similar situation (having just started a relationship with Taylor in the Season 4 finale and being early into a relationship with Tommy at the end of Season 7). Buck also in both seasons had a heart to heart moment with Eddie, with Chris being an important topic.
However, it also feels like Buck coming out is the only thing that happened to Buck this season and thanks to the atrocious Season 5 and 6 writing for Buck, it is weird to think that end Season 4 Buck is basically end Season 7 Buck but swap the love interest. This feels less like it was planned and more just neglectful writing for Buck. Unfortunately it still feels like Tim doesn't know what to do with Buck as a character still.
Moreover we know Bi Buck wasn't planned until the third episode of the season and was also a result of a bunch of serendipitous circumstances: Lucy and Natalia's actresses being unavailable whilst Marisol's actress being always available, and Ryan feeling the Eddie and Tommy storyline wasn't right for this season. Speaking of which...
Eddie
It's probably a stretch to compare being shot by a sniper to cheating with your dead wife's doppelganger but somehow Tim has left Eddie more broken at the end of Season 7 than at the end of Season 4. Whereas Eddie finished Season 4 recovering and deciding to put Buck in his well, he was still in a relationship with Ana and Chris was around. This suggests, in Eddie's case at least, we're not quite in Season 4 finale reboot and Tim is somewhat bringing Season 5 Eddie into the mix or at least jumping ahead half a season.
We also know from Devin's interview that when she came back to read Shannon's letter as a ghostly flashback for Chris that she didn't know she was going to be back again as Kim. This suggests to me that Tim rewatched Vertigo after the season had started and the bizarre doppelganger plot was not conceived originally for the season.
I feel like of all the characters, Eddie was the most unevenly written in Season 7 with his characterization from 7x04 onwards being utterly bizarre and inconsistent and suggesting multiple writers, rewrites and frankly a season arc that most resembled Tim's "laying the tracks as the train was coming" comment. Eddie's story was chaos, and I don't even think Tim quite knows where he's ended the season with Eddie other than he's lost Chris which I don't feel was planned for at the start of the season.
Maddie and Chimney
I've left Maddie and Chimney to the end so I don't have to write everything else angry having revisited their wedding and my ever increasing anger at the worst writing decisions the show has made in 7 seasons, namely making the Madney wedding a silly angst filled, Doug filled episode where Maddie is barely a main character and is relegated to damsel in a wedding dress in distress. The same Maddie who previously was badass enough to single handedly fight off her abusive husband, turn the tables on her hostage taker using an epipen and also professionally direct the emergency whilst her fiance was involved in the bridge collapse.
(Tim managed to slightly salvage the season for Madney fans the next episode by giving us a heartwarming moment with the Hans and Maddie being seen to be an wonderful mother to Jee-Yun but I wonder how much of that was fanservice from Tim knowing he was going to upset Madney fans with the wedding.)
Anyway, rant aside, the wedding was long planned for this season but qhat with the Bathena arc being this season, it seemed like Tim couldn't make he wedding the finale like with Tarlos, nor could he make it the 100th episode because the cruise ship arc and logistics with that, it meant the wedding couldn't be filmed in time for 7x04.
This scheduling conflict felt like it was never resolved going into the season and it left Madney in limbo this season. As for where Tim has left Madney, it's certainly not Season 4 ending since that ended with Madney starting the PPD arc as they knew JLH was pregnant and would be gone for most of S5A, which isn't the case here. So Maddie and Chimney are thankfully not where they were at the end of Season 4, which I don't think is where Tim really wanted them to be anyway but I worry Tim doesn't actually know where he wants them other than "just happily married" and doesn't have a plan yet for Season 8.
As unfortunate as the news is that Grace may not be appearing in Season 5 of Lone Star, I wonder if Tim should recycle some of the ideas he originally had for Grace and Judd and use them for Madney in Season 8. Only the heartwarming ideas though please Tim.
Conclusion (or too long didn't read bit)
I think going into this season Tim had a very clear idea for Bobby and Athena and wanted to bring them back by the end of Season 7 in the same place as the end of Season 4 (up to Michael being gone). I also think he wanted to the same for Hen's fostering journey with Mara being the new Nia. But I don't think that was the case for the others.
However, Bathena's story took up so much of the season, it didn't leave enough time for a satisfying Madney wedding, which was also planned for. And alas it feels like Tim's lack of endgame vision for Buck and Eddie and his penchant for chaos meant those two got the last minute, spur of the moment story arc decisions that led to ultimately very unsatisfying season arcs.
submitted by _HGCenty to 911FOX [link] [comments]


2024.06.09 01:27 morningstar055 Dog paw infection keeps returning despite treatment

Age: 10
Species: Dog
Weight: 13kg
Breed: we don’t know, he’s a rescue
Symptoms: Redness, swelling, pus and lots of crusting on 3 toes on one hind paw. The claws have turned brown on those toes.
Duration: A few months
My dog has had a recurring paw infection over the past few months. Each time we have visited the vet and they’ve prescribed antibiotics (2x a day for 7 days), a daily anti-inflammatory medication and cleaning solution. (We’ve also stopped him licking it by keeping a cone on)
The infection mostly clears up with the antibiotics but once they end, and we stop cleaning shortly after, (as the vet advised during a follow-up) it just returns. This has happened twice.
Any advice on why he can’t kick this infection? The vet just keeps presecribing the same course of treatment each time we go even though it clearly isn’t working as a long term solution. Thanks in advance.
submitted by morningstar055 to AskVet [link] [comments]


2024.06.09 01:27 Cosmolias 25M - Looking for long term friends

Hiya! I'm on the hunt for some long term friends to vibe with. Huge bonus points if you live near Seattle/in the PNW.
About me:
That’s a bit about me. If I caught your attention and I seem interesting, shoot me a message. Please include some basic info about you like age and what not, as well as a random question for me :)
Also, Reddit messaging is trash, so I'd like to move the conversation off of Reddit sooner rather than later.
submitted by Cosmolias to MakeNewFriendsHere [link] [comments]


2024.06.09 01:27 sly__ 29M - Looking for metalcore friends

Hello! Mainly posting here to try and meet new people and make long term friends, especially with similar interests.
If you're into any of the following, I would especially LOVE to hear from you:
A little bit about me:
Looking forward to hearing from you!! :)
submitted by sly__ to MakeNewFriendsHere [link] [comments]


2024.06.09 01:27 Rejoan I love sex, but I don’t cum, and often feel numb/disconnected from my body.

Hello I’m 28 years old, and have been with my partner for almost 7 years. I have kind of an odd sexual development(I couldn’t cum until I was 15 for example) I’m bisexual and so I have been with both men and women. I never came during sex, even when I try to finish myself. I am an over thinker and it has always played a part. For a long time I felt disconnected every time, I didn’t really feel pleasure, sometimes I can’t tell if my dick is hard and then I look down and it’s rock hard. I use to get blown and couldn’t really feel anything other than the pressure.
Until I met my boyfriend. He’s only been able to make me cum without my jacking off a handful of times, but I consistently have been able to cum jacking off during sex and thoroughly enjoyed it. There are still times I don’t cum, but honestly the idea of finishing has been so toxic to my brain I don’t enjoy it. I love foreplay, I love making him cum, I love getting fucked. I don’t cum when I top either by the way.
Even though I have come to terms with a lot of it, I still let it get to me sometimes. It’s gotten harder obviously as I’ve gotten older, and with the addition of meds. Even when I’m by myself trying to get off I 40% of the time don’t cum, or it takes an hour or two with concentration to even do it.
But again I love sex. Fuck, when he and I haven’t had sec for a while we develop a rift. When we have sex regularly, we’re so in sync, sex is important for me.
This last year though the not cumming has become unbearable. Jacking off is unenjoyable feeing like a chore, I never finish during sex now, and when I do specifically during sex when I think I’m cumming I pee with cum mixed in? That mostly happens during sex and very rarely by myself. I do often experience when I pee later on I have cum in it, but peeing during an orgasm is wild to me. Also, often when I don’t think I’m hard(legitimately can not feel it) he says I’m rock hard. And it’s different from the past because I barely feel the pressure.
Sometimes having sex will suck because it makes me question my stance with him(it’s super hard not to go to bad places at some point with this) but the thing is when we’re having sex, I’m enjoying it. Yes, there are overthinking moments for sure. Life stress yadda yadda, but literally most of the time it’s either if I’m not in the mood as much and just trying to get him off lol or I get stressed out the closer we get to the finishing point since cumming has become the bane of my life. He says it’s ok I don’t cum too, but I fucking want to.
I don’t know what I’m trying to get out of this. If anyone has similar experiences to any of this or just advice. I am losing something I really love because of this small portion and it fucking sucks.
submitted by Rejoan to askgaybros [link] [comments]


2024.06.09 01:27 Cosmolias 25 [M4R] Seattle/Anywhere - Looking for long term friends

Hiya! I'm on the hunt for some long term friends to vibe with. Huge bonus points if you live near Seattle/in the PNW.
About me:
That’s a bit about me. If I caught your attention and I seem interesting, shoot me a message. Please include some basic info about you like age and what not, as well as a random question for me :)
Also, Reddit messaging is trash, so I'd like to move the conversation off of Reddit sooner rather than later.
submitted by Cosmolias to r4r [link] [comments]


2024.06.09 01:27 sly__ 29 [M4R] Online - Looking for metalcore friends

Hello! Mainly posting here to try and meet new people and make long term friends, especially with similar interests.
If you're into any of the following, I would especially LOVE to hear from you:
A little bit about me:
I definitely prefer Reddit chat over DMs. But would love to eventually move off Reddit if we click. Looking forward to hearing from you!! :)
submitted by sly__ to r4r [link] [comments]


2024.06.09 01:26 Allie4284 Help, is this withdrawals?

I am 20 years old, I quit vaping on the 15th of May 2024. At the time of quitting, I was taking it very slowly, and on the 15th, I took one last hit of a vape before never considering it again. During my time of quitting, I noticed an upbringing of anxiety, but on the 15th, this anxiety became much worse, from that day, to the 23rd, I had extreme chronic anxiety 24/7 that never stopped, it was horrible, like I was dying and being tortured during it. However I had no cravings to vape. I also had a very high sense of dissociation, depersonalization, and disorientation. I went to urgent care for this, and they gave me hydroxyzine, which only spiked the anxiety more, causing me to have a horrible panic attack that paralyzed me for around 5-10 mins, and I felt paramedics needed to be called. I then went to my primary care doctor later on, and was prescribed Buspar. Buspar is supposed to take around 2-3 weeks to take effect, although I didn’t have that long. On the 23rd, I admitted myself into a hospital’s psych ward for inpatient care. The last few days before I admitted myself, I was having a very hard time eating and sleeping, and was having night terrors that spiked my anxiety in the mornings. Although, once I was actually in inpatient care, the anxiety seemed to be gone, but I still had the dissociation and all that, and it was much stronger too, there were times I felt I was going to faint from it, and the entire time I was scared about whether or not this is stemming from withdrawals or not. I stayed there for 5 days, and released myself on the 28th. At this time, I was feeling much better, despite the fact that the only medication they were giving me was for sleep, and had me drink Ensure to fix my diet, and allowed me to eat again. However, about 1-2 days after my release, I started to get anxious again, and the dissociation started to kick back up. Over time, and now to June 8th, it has only increased, as if I’m starting the whole thing over again. My symptoms have also varied greatly, as the past 4-5 days, I’ve had the same tension headache in my forehead, which definitely isn’t helping with the anxiety. I’ve also become depressed. I want to say it’s because of how long I’ve been stuck in this horrible state, but who’s to say it isn’t another side effect of withdrawals or whatever underlying issue is causing this? I’ve also developed of feeling of being overstimulated or overwhelmed despite nothing happening, which doesn’t feel like the typical anxiety I’ve been feeling. Yesterday, June 7th, I was prescribed a new medication that I have not recieved yet, Lexapro. It has been over 3 weeks now that I’ve quit vaping cold turkey. Could this all have stemmed from withdrawals? It’s all so sudden, and I have no previous background of anxiety or panic attacks. I don’t feel like myself anymore and I’m very scared of what’s happening to me. Again, I’ve only had cravings twice, so it feels as if the withdrawals are not the cause of this, does anybody know what could be happening to me? Or a similar experience with quitting vaping? I vaped for around 2 and a half years and quit essentially cold turkey. Anxiety or depression disorders don’t typically just show up one day like this, and withdrawals are typically never this extreme, so I can only assume the worst. Blood and urine tests have come back safe, and doctors refuse to do an MRI.
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2024.06.09 01:26 CatherineL1031 The Calm Before the Storm [Catherine the Witch Lorepost Part 5]

The Calm Before the Storm [Catherine the Witch Lorepost Part 5]
Hello there again, my Arcane and magical colleagues. Once again I am here to interrupt your scrying with a continuation of my life. Those who read, thank you for your time, I know I tend to ramble when I start talking, but it means a lot that I get to confess my previous sins in a safe place.
After murdering and dissolving the Goradel bloodline and stealing their entire workforce, I wanted to drive home the point that this was revenge from the hells coming back to bite them in the ass. As the manor collapsed into a pile of cinder and kindling, my hands started to glow as I shaped the flames into a skull.
“The blood of Goradel has been dissolved. The hells cheer as they welcome the newest occupants for all eternity!”
I turned back into my kitty cat disguise as people stared at the laughing fire skull, even putting some soot onto my fur to give the impression I had just run out of the place and was lucky to survive. I ran through some nearby flames to make it even more believable. I bolted the gathering crowd with a terrified meow, rolling into a puddle. I felt so gross, but I had to cover my tracks as much as possible.
What's worse is one of the village kids saw me and tried to approach me to help. She looked so sweet and just wanted to help, but I had to play the part of “scared and terrified animal”, so I had to hiss and swat at her as she approached. She seemed so brokenhearted, but I again had to hiss and book it away as fast as I could. I ran into the forest, and once I was out of eyeshot, returned to my normal form. I smelled so absolutely horrible, but whatever, at least no one would expect me of anything!
I pulled the last teleportation scroll from my hat, drew the final rune with my finger, and teleported back home. Once I was gone, the skull and flames disappeared from the burning kindle. Not only did no one suspect a thing, but now the blame could be pushed onto the hells quite easily. They saw a creature from the hell's attack and a skull just like the one from before, who else could have done that besides someone from the hells? Hehehehe…
Once I returned home, I gave Mona a kiss and started crying. I informed her of the situation that had happened with my leaving. I decided to tell her the ‘truth’ of where I had been, admitting that I had actually gone to the Goradel house for revenge and that revenge came in the form of stealing their servants and fucking up their garden, but that soon after I started burning the garden the manor was attacked! I told her about the bird, and the skull, and she held me close.
You know, looking back on it, I really was becoming a monster…Mona and I were engaged at this point- Oh, shit, that’s right, I forgot to say. Mona and I had gotten very close as roommates, and that relationship elevated to girlfriends after our first year of knowing each other. She proposed to me a few months back, and I happily said yes.
Regardless, we were engaged, and I had just told her a lie of this magnitude. We told each other small little lies as all couples did, “No no that dress is so cute”, “I can’t even tell you spilled something on that skirt”, “Of course I don’t mind if your brother stays with us a few days, family is important!” Your standard relationship lies. But this…I was a murderer, and now I was telling her I was a victim and letting her love me to comfort me!
Gods…I truly didn’t deserve her…
Word spread quickly of their death, and even more quickly that the hell’s had been the ones to do such a thing. Even in our town we were quick to learn the news, I think it had been a few weeks and someone informed us. I had done really well to hide my tracks, nobody even thought to suspect sweet Catherine Louise. To the outside world, I was still the witch who helped her townsfolk and occasionally protected them with her partner Mona. The servants were shocked to hear their old employers had been killed, and were just so grateful to me that I had saved them from a fiery fate…and I told them it was no trouble, that I’m just lucky they left when they did…
Don’t be like me at this time. If you’re like this now, maybe get some help, because this is not the kind of person you want to be in life, I really hope.
Life at Mardul Castle started to improve once our helpers got to work. They were quick to get a feel for things such as duties, who would be living where, what was expected of them and all that stuff. Even more impressive, our town was really coming to be quite the town! Before we knew it, Mona and I had officially been granted the title of Ladies of Mardul. We were ‘nobles’ in a way, but really it was just a title to us.
It felt very, very strange being granted such a title. Mona’s dad was a barkeeper, and my parents (gods rest their souls) worked manual labor and as a cleric. Neither of us had any noble blood in us, or had butlers, footmen and maids. It was a pretty big adjustment for us, especially having to call Mona by her full name when we were in polite company. I had always called her Mona or Emerald (Emmy for short), cause she was beautiful like an emerald, and she always called me Cookie because I loved baking for her. So, going from our pet names to “Ah yes, this is my wife, Lady Desdamona Torres of Mardul, and I am Lady Catherine Louise of Mardul” was so weird. 
As the years started to pass, Mona and I became a bit more involved in the higher society of things. We would visit other towns to spend time with the lords and ladies and try to find allies in case we needed help with anything, we were invited to elegant balls and soirees to eat, drink and dance with others of the upper class. Most of them were very kind, and I could tell they deserved their titles. I know it’s easy to hate on Nobles and Royalty, but there truly are some wonderful people in there. However, there was always the standout from the crowd…
We met many truly awful people who clearly were like the Goradel’s, coasting on their blood and using it as an excuse to treat others so horribly simply because they viewed themselves as superior. I think one of the worst was Torence Maris, he and his fucking asshole son…you don’t invite someone to dinner, and then try to seduce their wife while discussing plans! I almost killed that man when I saw Mona return almost in tears and say ‘we’re going, now’. Gods, my poor Emmy cried so hard that night…
Well, that part of me that desired to punish those who did wrong had started to come back again. Thankfully, it was not near as bad as it was years prior, but I did want to cause them some kind of pain or grief. This time, however, I cleared it with my wife and let her know my plans. She told me it was a bad idea, and that getting caught could be very damaging to our city’s image, but I told her not to worry as I was going to be in an entirely different form. She didn’t want to admit it, but I saw the little smile on her face as I listed off the names of the assholes I was going to be fucking with. I told her that I was not planning to cause them any bodily harm, just harm to their property, maybe even do like I did with the Goradel’s and steal their best workers. I promised to cause no bodily harm to them, and gave her a kiss as I started to work out my plans.
My plans were much simpler this time, and having multiple people to collaborate with my story made it even easier to cover my tracks. I would inform Mona and my lady's maid, Jezebel, of who I planned to ‘visit’ that night and the two of them would cover for me should anyone show up seeking information on my wearabouts. Was it the most noble thing to lie so I could do what I wanted and face less consequences, potentially even causing two unrelated people to join in my potential arrest and conviction? No, and as stated MANY TIMES BEFORE, this does not make what I did right. I am not a hero or arbiter of justice, I am just one mortal who was starting to become drunk with power.
But, regardless, I began my misguided quest for revenge against people I didn’t like. I started with Torence, and knew I needed to be smart about what I did. He had just harassed my wife, so if anyone was going to point fingers, he would have an easy reason. So, I started very small. I took on a monstrous form, either that of one of the many wyverns I had cut apart and studied, the Hell Cobra, or the Nightmare Corvid. It started simply enough, roaming the forests of their estate at night, causing people and animals to panic as I let out nightmarish noises to keep them up. Once they were sufficiently worked up, phase two of the plan took effect. I would watch them from their yard, and just stare. Nothing is more terrifying than seeing a 30 foot tall bird just staring at you from the front of your grounds, and then when you call someone to help it’s just gone. Finally, I’d start harassing them. I would swoop down at them or chase them when they were outside, I would damage their windows with rocks or branches, or destroy some of their outside possessions like carriages and gardens. Once I felt they were sufficiently harassed, or had spent a ton of money trying to get rid of me, I’d leave and move on to the next one. Again, THIS IS NOT HOW THINGS SHOULD BE DONE! Please, for the love of the gods, understand that! Either way, that was my schedule for each asshole noble that we encountered. I even got a name for myself, I was simply known as “The Beast”, or “The Shifter”. I liked the beast better, personally, because then that gave me the chance to make lewd and unladylike jokes to my wife. (Yes, penis jokes, and they’re still funny). 
The next few decades seemed to fly by so fast. If you’re wondering, Mona and I had discussed the possibility of children, but very early on in our relationship she let me know that it was not safe for an Archmage of Alchemy to house children in her body due to the amount of things she had to drink and test. She joked that she wasn’t even sure she could have kids at all with the amount of mixtures and tonics she drank in the past. Instead of children, we did as many of our arcane siblings had done in the past, and decided to become teachers for apprentices!
I’ll admit, it was a very busy life at this point. During the day I was Lady Catherine of Mardul, greasing shoulders and hosting parties to earn or give favors to those who needed help or we might need help from, during the evenings I was Mistress Catherine, teacher to novice mages, and during the night I was known as The Beast. I would find a target during our social outings, learn all I could about them, and then haunt them with all sorts of horrid forms. I spent my time
None of them were every hurt physically, but mentally I fucked with them, socially I stunted them, and monetarily they had received a slap to the face. This is how I should have done it before, but, you live and you learn. This does not make it okay, mind you. I was harassing people who were assholes, but there were definitely better ways I could have gone about it. At least I had a beautiful wife who helped me remember what I wanted to keep, and some adorable family. Vex had had two sons and a daughter, and Har’s daughter Athena was now a woman with her own little boy! I felt so old every time I saw Athena, I held her as a little girl and used to play with her, now she’s this woman and has a kid…ugh, time. Ralin and I kept in close contact, she was and still is my best friend, but she did like me and took on a mentorship role instead of a parental one. We got drunk and I asked her about it once, she said it wouldn’t be fair to the child or herself to watch them grow old and die. I couldn’t argue with that, that’s not something any parent should have to experience in their life.
This was my life for well over a century, and it was truly an amazing life. I did have to say goodbye to many of my close friends and family during this time, but…such is the price of Immortality. It truly never gets easier. Mona had remained as beautiful as the day I met her through it all, we had a network of apprentices and students that went on to do some truly amazing tasks, and I had reached my Grandmaster’s rank in Shifting and Polymorph magic! I was now able to shift between forms in only a few seconds, and had mastered my ability to speak and cast Expert level spells while shifted! I’m not just being nice when I say Mona stayed beautiful, by the way. Her Elf Blood was strong and it looked like she had only aged a few years, and I remained unchanged to time due to my immortality.
During our time together, and my time terrorizing Nobles, we found that many of those with horrid blood had raised their children up to be better to avoid being targeted by The Beast. I barely even needed to bring that form out anymore, all the higher class people on our side of the continent were now shaping up! So, with one enemy down, my stupid ass set sight on another enemy. There was one enemy that caused absolute havoc when they appeared, one who was loyal to their code and their code alone.
I was setting my sights onto the hells, and their denizens.
Mona and I had been discussing it for some time, there had been villages raided by devils and imps for refusal to pay for protection, or because a Warlock had an honest mistake and had ‘broken the contract’ without meaning to in the slightest. They were cruel, twisting their ‘deals’ to benefit them in a way where they could do whatever they wanted. So, we decided it was time to make them pay, and show that mortals are not to be messed with. Mona and I decided to come out of retirement from adventuring, and start to protect our lands from forces that sought only to do it harm!
This, my friends, is what we would usually call ‘poking the bear’. It’s generally not something that is encouraged if you want to, you know, continue living a decent life. But, we were young, dumb, full of fight and ready to try and kick the asses of hellions for the betterment of our world. It was a noble goal, but as is very apparent with my entire godsdamn life, there were much better ways we could have gone about it.
So, we started to fight. I was just shy of 242 years old, Mona was 160, but we still looked damn good and were at our peak! We started to do our research on what to avoid when fighting devils, what worked best, how to deal with them, everything we needed to take them down as effectively as possible. Once we had a bit of knowledge under our belts, we decided it was time to start our journey of becoming devil slayers! I thought we were going to be demon slayers, but apparently demons do not come from hell. Demons are their own, separate entity from a place called The Abyss. I know this is common knowledge now, but at the time I was very surprised to learn this. I know I use Devils when referring to them previously, but that’s because I now know.
We decided to start small, just to see where our power truly lay and if we even could fight these things. We had read about imps, the lowest of denizens of hell, and knew where a few currently were. The city of Sclaire had become the victims of imp raids randomly during the night, so we figured we’d do them a solid by trying to push back against this problem. We set out for the town, the Lord Ross and his husband Barrin agreeing to house us while we undertook this task.
I don’t mean to brag on our strength, but these imps were truly nothing compared to our might. Once they arrived, Mona threw a concoction of holy water and divine fire onto one of them and it melted in a matter of seconds. After that, I turned into the red canine wyvern form I had used to fight back the monstrosities of hell and made quick work of my share of them. The ground was stained with the blood and viscera of the imps in a matter of minutes, those who ran vowing revenge on us in the future. I turned back to normal, and set the bloody scene on fire to clean it up. My flames burned away the hellish remains of our foes, and then it was over.
We looked at each other, a bit underwhelmed by this display and kind of disappointed overall. But, we had to remind ourselves that these were basically fodder for hell. Imps aren’t hard enemies unless they swarm in numbers, and even then they go down fairly easily. We were a Grandmaster and Archmage, we were incredibly overpowered for the enemies we had just faced. But, it still felt good to know we had done a service to the town! We were now technically certified devil hunters, but neither of us really felt we had deserved it. So, we started doing our research for the next job. We learned more about the hierarchy of hell, who had control over who, how they commanded them, how things moved up in the ranks, all that. We were upset to learn that killing a devil in our world does not actually kill them for good unless you do something special like a soul-trap or soul destruction. Their soul returns to hell, gets recycled through the machine and implanted into a new body of equal strength to the one they had just lost. So, those imps were definitely going to come back for revenge, I guess. Eh, whatever, it takes a long time to move up the ranks and we’d just continue killing them. Maybe some research into stopping that would be a good idea… We started moving our way up the hierarchy ladder slowly, making sure to build up our name as an annoyance of hell as best we could. Our first year was very easy, we spent our time hunting imps, spined devils and chain devils that we were way too outclassed to give a fair shot. I’m not going to say we wiped the floor every time, we did have moments where they were able to get a good hit on us or were able to cause us some damage, but overall it was a very easy fight. One annoyance, though, was their immunity to my flames. I had to rely solely on my shifting magic and protection magic to be able to fight properly due to them being immune to fire. It was annoying, especially since the majority of my offensive spells were fire spells! I started to do some research on the topic, hoping I could find something that could overcome their fiery immunity or even shut it off completely. My search came up dry, however, so it was back to turning into cool beasts I had killed and dissected and using their forms to maim a bunch of terrified devils. I had considered dissecting and studying the make-up of devils, but once I opened up a bone devil I quickly learned that their forms were mostly just houses for their infernal magic. Without the flames of hell burning inside them, these were just weird looking vessels made of flesh, bone and organs. Plus, probably wasn’t a good idea to be running around in a form that most people feared and wanted dead, so that line of thinking and studying was quickly abandoned. Once we had reached what I guess would be considered the level of Sergeant for the legions of hell, we had begun to acquire quite the name for ourselves in hell. We had not taken out incredibly high ranking members of hell, but we had been able to take a lot of them out in such a short time-frame. As powerful as those on top think they are, a large portion of their strength is having disposable fodder to throw at problems and handle most things for them. We were causing that number to decrease, which was causing problems up the ladder. 
After our first year, we finally got them. We had a bounty on your heads!
We found out after a bone devil appeared in our bedroom one night. He held two wanted posters, one for Shapechanger Catherine Louise and the other for Potion Master Desdemona Torres. We had a price of 250 soul coins on our head together, quite an impressive sum! We were a real annoyance to them, it seems. We couldn’t help but cheer, even hugging the bone devil and thanking him for telling us the news! He was incredibly confused, pushing us off as he attempted to spear through us with his tail. I shifted my teeth into sharp daggers like a wyvern, grabbed his tail in my teeth and bit it clean off. Mona followed with a special explosive concoction she had been refining that seeped into the body of the devil. Even with their fire immunity, that didn’t mean they couldn’t be lit on fire. I threw a spark at his chest, the concoction lighting him on fire and causing the potion to heat up. It seeped into his skin as he screamed out in pain, his body starting to bulge and swell as the concoction did its magic. We didn’t want a mess to clean up, so I cast a spell of force to push him out the window. He shattered through, his body starting to crack and blister with energy as he continued screaming out in pain. In a brilliant flash, his body exploded into a glitter of magic and faded into nothingness. Once his corporeal form was gone, I decided it was time to test out my research. My hands began to glow as I set an area around the area where its soul would be. 
Immediately I started sweating, my hands burning as I felt the magic not course through me but more be forced through me. I had done a good bit of research on the magic of the souls, but none of them spoke of what I was currently feeling! I fell to my knees as I continued concentrating, the bone devil’s soul appearing as a floating orb in the area of my spell. I yelled out to Mona as the area around it contracted around it, now starting to tremble. “Get the bottle ready! This is our one chance!” It hurt so badly, it felt like my skin was splitting as I pulled the soul back to us. Mona uncorked one of her bottles, and in went the soul. She corked the top, a barrier of sealing surrounding the bottle as she placed it on her belt.
My arms ached as I laid on the ground, burns on the tips of my fingers as I cried out in pain. It seems in my eagerness to test my studies, I had overworked myself almost immediately and caused myself some rather serious mana burns…I’ve felt the burns of flames, I’ve felt the burn of hellfire, I’ve felt the burns of fires from the Fire Plane. This was a burn that I could not heal away, and I felt it running through my body. I tried my best to stand up, body shaking as all I could think about was getting back in bed and sleeping off this burning in my body. My muscles ached, I was drenched in sweat. I flopped back in bed as tears started to fall, just praying to whatever gods were listening that this feeling would end soon. Sweet Mona tried to help, but nothing seemed to make my symptoms any better. I couldn’t use my phoenix flame to numb my nerves for risk of causing further damage, so I had to just ride it out.
I didn’t get much sleep that night, even trying to get out of bed and sleep in the dressing room that connected to our bedroom so that I could let Mona have some peaceful rest without my crying and screaming. She wouldn’t let me leave, though, making me stay by her side. I wanted to hold her, I always felt better when she was in my arms, but just feeling her body against mine felt like knives scraping against my skin.
Morning arrived after what felt like years, my body at least not burning anymore, but it was still shaking. I could barely eat any of the breakfast our cook, Miss Graham, had prepared and spent most of that day sleeping it off. It took a full two days before my body finally returned to normal, but thankfully in that time Mona had started to do some experimentation with the soul she currently housed in her bottle. She began to study it, hoping she could find a way to keep it contained or even harness its power in some way.
As I’m sure is a surprise to no one, souls are an incredibly powerful source of power. We had heard tale of people being able to capture a soul and use it to power machines of war, or use it as a sort of mana battery that could be drawn from in a time of need, but no solid research could ever be found. We wanted to try and expand this research as best we could, but after seeing the catastrophe that was the simple process of getting a single soul into a container, we decided that this one soul was going to be all we got for the time being.
Remember what I said about poking the bear before? Yeah, we had moved from that to now slapping the ass of the bear and calling it a bitch. We had a soul from hell in our possession and were currently experimenting on it like mad scientists. This is what any denomination, organization, or species would consider a ‘dick move’. I’ve done a lot of magic in my time, but soul magic is definitely one that I would consider the most heinous act of them all. The soul is a sacred object, and trying to tamper with it is an act that you cannot take back. If anyone does not understand the soul, allow me to try and explain it as simply as possible.
The soul is like a pile of sand. The experiences and time we have with it in and on various planes shapes that sand into a new shape, or a new pile. Each grain is placed in a certain point for a certain reason, it has been shaped for the specific purpose of being what it is. I mentioned at the beginning how I felt the disconnect between my soul and my body, either through some divine mix up during my creation or whatever. My soul was designed in an exact way by the forces of magic, or the universe, or a god, or whatever to be the way it should be and I had to fix the other part with my own strength. Those experiences helped my soul take shape more effectively, cementing in it the truth of who I was and who I should have been from the beginning. I’d like to go off on a tangent real quick, if I may.
As many know, at the time I send this into the OrbNet, it is currently the celebration of sexual and gender expression known as Pride Month. Many like myself have faced the pain of uncertainty, discrimination and the occasional hatred for what we are. I did not express it in the beginning, as I did not want to write about my experiences too deeply (and yet here we are now, having taken up so much of your time already and definitely going to take more), but I experienced my fair share of hatred as well during my youth and studies.
Before I could fully harness Biomancy, as I now know it to be called (thank you for informing me, Percy), I would cast disguise on myself in my day to day life to try and alleviate the discomfort of existing. However, there were many with what is colloquially known as ‘Stanky Old Wizard Eyes’. These allow wizened magic uses to see into realms beyond our own and even see through things like illusions. So, while some would see me in my female disguise, there would be the old wizards who would berate me, saying that I ‘wasn’t a real witch, just a wizard pretending’ and that I was just misguided by ‘new age thinking’. Yeah? Well, guess who’s still young, beautiful and has a smoking hot wife while you’re probably a pile of dust and worm food, you crotchety old prick…
Anyways, sorry, this is all to come to one very specific point: My soul is the way it is because of my experiences. Every grain of sand was purposefully placed exactly where it needed to be. I know it sounds strange, but going through that experience allowed me to see the suffering people go through that are afflicted with problems beyond what I experienced as well. It taught me empathy more than I could have ever learned on my own, and helped me to see people not by their form or their past, but by who they are inside and who they are in that moment.
And right now, we were shoving our hand into the pile of sand that was this bone devil’s soul. It doesn’t matter that it was a devil, it doesn’t matter that it had tried to kill us days before, we were fucking with something that should not be fucked with. Sure, with some fiddling we could shape it back into how we found it, but this soul would be irreversibly changed for the rest of time due to our interference and prying. Don’t fuck with souls, you truly do not know what you’re messing with and one single grain of sand moved can cause the entire thing to collapse.
After the capture and imprisonment of the bone devil’s soul, the forces of hell started to take us as a more serious threat. Before we were just an annoyance, but now they started to view us as a real deal threat. Larger and more dangerous foes were starting to come after us. We were able to fend them off for the most part, thankfully, but it was starting to get much scarier. Whereas before we would escape with minor bruises or cuts, now we were starting to have serious injuries that needed to be healed. Bone devils upgraded chain devils, which upgraded to Ice Devils, who I could finally use my Pyromancy against! It was still a difficult fight each time, but now we at least had the upper hand when we fought them.
Another year passed, our names now cemented as opponents of hell. Our bounties had been increased to 500 soul coins each and an upgrade to Lieutenant to whichever devil managed to bring us in. Our efforts had been paying off so well, though. Hell Raids had slowed down immensely as hell focused their resources on trying to stop us, our crusade even inspiring others to take up the mantle of Devil Hunters and fight back against the lesser members of Hell’s Army. Through the year, we were even able to gather information and figure out how to harness the soul of the Bone Devil. We learned more about it including its name, rank, we even learned what Archdevil they served.
They were named Belgranon, they were a Commander in the army of Dispater. They primarily commanded imps, succubi, incubi and lesser winged devils, but they seemed to be a trusted member of Dispater’s forces. As we studied up on the Archdevil in question, we learned he was quite the paranoid Archdevil. He was very selective of who he allowed into his circle of trust, only taking those he could trust fully into his army. Devils often tried to backstab and cross each other for power or favor, so he had to be completely sure he could trust in someone that they wouldn’t attempt to betray him.
As we started to pry deeper into Belgranon’s soul, it started to lose its shape very slowly. What was once an orb started to flicker and occasionally turn into more of an ectoplasmic goo before attempting to return back into an orb. We thought nothing of it, thinking it might just be trying to escape, so pressing on with our next experiment. Once we had learned to harness the power of the soul, we decided to test it in Mona’s potions. We hooked the soul as a power source to her alchemical workstation, and she began brewing.
Belgranon immediately started glowing as potions were brewed, a distinct glow about them that even Mona herself couldn’t have accomplished. I decided to be the test for her first potion, a simple mana potion that she had brewed thousands of times. I stepped out into the yard, and my hands began to glow a bright red. My pupils turned into slits as my body started to expand, brown scales covering my body and a tail sprouting forth from my back. I was casting my strongest Biomancy spell, taking on the body of an Elder Earthen Wyrm. I let out a loud, intimating roar that echoed through our city and the neighboring towns. I held my head up high to the sky, my strongest pyromancy flying from my mouth as I exhaled a plume of dragonflame into the sky. The clouds dissipated from the sheer force of my flames, but it was already starting to wear on me. I quickly turned back to normal, my mana drained in only a few seconds. That was another of my ‘only in insane emergencies’ spells, as it gave me a single shot before I was completely spent.
I walked back in, head pounding as if I had a horrible migraine, and happily downed the potion without a second thought. As it flowed through me, I could immediately feel its effects. My mana went from empty to nearly full in an instant, my body erupting in a burst of flame as my Wildfire Avatar form took hold. It seems even my body knew it had to burn off the excess mana I had consumed, and I burned for well over 5 minutes in a form that would usually only last at most 2 minutes at full mana. The flames extinguished, but I still felt incredible, as if I had never cast any spells to begin with! Mona and I cheered as we saw the potential of soul harvesting, sharing a kiss and an embrace. She began to brew and brew more potions that afternoon, a fire of passion burning inside her that I hadn’t seen in decades. She made dozens of basic potions, now enhanced to levels no one could ever imagine thanks to the harvesting and usage of Belgranon’s soul.
However, after a passion filled day of brewing, we saw the effect it had on Belgranon’s soul. What was once an orb that filled the entire bottle and glowed bright had been reduced to but a small, burning and dying ember. We had created enough potions to last any normal person a lifetime and then some, but we saw the cost. As we watched the soul together, it eventually faded from the bottle. It wasn’t an explosion, or a bright flash, it just…disappeared. We uncorked the bottle, and truly saw that the soul had been destroyed by our meddling. Not only had we shifted the sands, we had taken it apart. There was not a single piece of Belgranon left, even the potions we had created did not hold a piece of him. He had been erased not just from hell, but from existence itself. The bear was now awake, and it was mad…
Thank you again for your time. I know it’s a lot to get through, but please know that it means the world to me that people find any interest in my story and allow me to get things off my chest and in the open. For those keeping track, my crimes now were as follows: Tricking a lich into giving me immortality, murder of the Goradel bloodline, harassment and destruction of property of several nobles and royals, and now the tampering and destruction of a soul.
The next part of my story is going to be a different one. I was able to find a log from one who…well, you’ll see. I was able to find a recollection that I think would give a better picture of this next part better than I could ever explain it. Just know that the next part of my story will be detailed from the perspective of another, but will still be part of my story. Thank you again, I love you all so much.
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2024.06.09 01:25 W_T_D_ Development Blog #18: A Healing Cantrip? Easy Numbers? Healing That Matters? Recoveries!

6/8/2024
By this point, I've run probably close to if not more than three dozen playtest combats, tweaking things here and there to perfect them. What I'm trying to figure out now, especially now that the cleric is the next class I'm focusing on, is how healing works.
I mentioned before that I would be trying a few different methods of healing between Rests -- the Baldur's Gate 3 method, the 4e Healing Surge method, and Hit Dice being free to spend out of combat were the three most prominent ideas in my head. I wasn't entirely happy with any one in particular as each has their own strengths and weakness. The BG3 way of restoring half your Health maximum twice per rest was the simplest, but too big I think. If you were only moderately hurt, you'd feel like you were wasting it. 4e I quite like apart from the name "Healing Surge" and the kind of convoluted math of needing to figure out 1/4 of your Health each level. It's not difficult math by any means, but it's a little rough. Hit Dice are cool and obviously scale with level at a 1:1 ratio, but they're wild cards and unless there's very specific wording (possibly convoluted itself), you would need to spend A LOT of Hit Dice at higher levels all at once. 1d8 at a time means more when you have 20 Health than when you have 150.
I figured the solution would be similar to one or more of these, and I think I found something I like, combining Hit Dice and Healing Surges. I'm calling these Recoveries at the moment because, well, it's a very simple and evocative name. I considered Stamina, and I also considered switching things around and calling your (5e equivalent of) Hit Points "Stamina" and your Hit Dice "Health," but I didn't want to complicate things. It could still change and I might thing of a name I like better, but for now it's Recoveries.
So here's how Recoveries work: Each class has a base number. When they spend a Recovery, they add their level to that number and regain that much Health. That simple. What are the base numbers? It's the maximum of the die they roll on level up. Barbarian has a d12, so their base is 12. Wizard uses a d6, so their base is 6.
If a level 1 barbarian spends a Recovery, they gain 12 (base) + 1 (level). At level 20, it'd be 12 + 20. The size of the die is already scaled for how much melee combat a class is expected to see, so it was already balanced for how many times they can use it between Rests. I just cut it in half. A barbarian can spend 6 Recoveries per Rest, gaining 13 Health each time (at first level). A wizard can spend 3 Recoveries per Rest, gaining 7 Health each time. I'm toying with the idea that your Constitution gives you extra Recoveries, or maybe that will be a feat.
This is most similar to 4e, just with quicker math and less bloated numbers when you get to higher levels. Recoveries are more effective at low levels (healing you about 45% each time) compared to higher levels (healing you about 15-20% each time) but I don't think this is a problem since you're still looking at restoring 26-32 with each recovery at level 20. I'm completely fine with that, as I think 4e's ability to restore 50-100 HP with a Healing Surge is way too much bloat. Plus, ideally you're not spending as much time at those highest levels as you do lower ones. I think the higher the level, the faster you should level up, so you don't need as much healing.
And now, back to clerics. In the early editions of D&D, clerics were extremely important. Your wizard has very low HP, and while the fighter has a good bit for protecting them, they're still going down without a healer. You pretty much needed a cleric to be able to survive long enough to become powerful on your own. As the game evolved, clerics became less and less important, and in 5e you don't even need a healer in the party. I don't think that's a problem by the way; I want any combination of classes to be a viable party, but unlike 5e I'm not going to make in-combat healing useless. How? By making healing word a cantrip. Instead of it healing some roll, however, it will instead allow an ally to spend a Recovery. The cantrip is only limited by what your ally has in their reserve. Theoretically, the cleric could use their Specialty (the replacement term for Bonus Action) to help an ally heal every single round. Will there also be spells of 1st-degree or higher that heal? Of course, and they're probably be bigger and better than their 5e equivalent.
So now we know how combat works, how you can recover health between combats, and what happens when you Rest. I'm very happy with where things are at right now.
This month, I'm going to be running a full-fledged level 1 adventure for a group of players to try out all of this stuff. I'm excited to see how it plays out.
submitted by W_T_D_ to Advanced5e [link] [comments]


2024.06.09 01:25 jellyjellz Convertible top issue

Convertible top issue
Picture not the best, ohone wont focus. Weird thing happened. New car for me, ive owned it for a month now, 2013 cooper s convertible, did file a warranty claim already. Curious if this has happened to anyone before and what the fix was overall for my own knowledge long term as I want to maintain this car.
Weather strip is damaged and it gets stuck on the back window, so the actuator stops, and the top wont convert sometimes. I'll be back at the shop for it to be repaired later this week. If for some reason this were to happen again in the future outside of my warranty or coverage, what is a cheap and safe fix for this without taking the entire top apart? I thought it could be cut and sanded down. I live in arizona and it doesn't rain quite often, but it's my first soft top and want to be smart about things and upkeep maintenance. Other than love my mini! Thanks in advance!
submitted by jellyjellz to MINI [link] [comments]


2024.06.09 01:25 lawschoolthrowaway72 high GPA/LSAT, 4-year resume gap

I did my undergrad at a good state school, and graduated in 2020 with a 3.95 GPA. I had decent softs at the time (leadership positions, volunteer work, part-times, etc), but since graduation, my resume is one big blank. After I graduated, I had to return home to become a long-term full-time caregiver to a family member, and more recently I required neurosurgery myself.
I’m no longer needed as a caregiver, and my surgery was highly successful—I scored a 176 on the LSAT just a few months afterwards. I’m ready to move forward with my life, but I’m very nervous about the length of the gap on my resume. How do I go about explaining this? What are my chances at a well-ranked school?
submitted by lawschoolthrowaway72 to lawschooladmissions [link] [comments]


2024.06.09 01:24 defeated-angel dealing with awful nausea on zoloft

hello all! i am currently not taking sertraline but i did in the past for two years, split in two.
i had it in combination to other medications and it is truly the treatment that offers me the most relief.
i have unfortunately dealt with nausea after my first round of antidepressants. i believe i didn’t deal with being this nauseated on my first round.
i’m guessing it has to do with past misuse of the treatment and possibly my body still dealing with it. the nausea simply does not go away, i do have ways to affect me less: eating before taking my pills helps but it’s still difficult for me to eat enough throughout the day.
medication supposed to help with it are not supposed to be taken on a long term so i’m very much at loss on what to do. this greatly affects my eating and i’d sometimes spend multiple days without any meals. i am a bit worried as i’ve already lost some weight because of birth control and i already feel awful in my body. it’s hard having to deal with it as i know the treatment is what keeps me alive.
do anyone else relate or can try to give me tips on what to do? i’m genuinely so much at loss. thank you in advance !!
submitted by defeated-angel to zoloft [link] [comments]


2024.06.09 01:23 sly__ 29/M - Looking for metalcore friends

Hello! Mainly posting here to try and meet new people and make long term friends, especially with similar interests.
If you're into any of the following, I would especially LOVE to hear from you:
A little bit about me:
I definitely prefer Reddit chat over DMs. But would love to eventually move off Reddit if we click. Looking forward to hearing from you!!
submitted by sly__ to Needafriend [link] [comments]


2024.06.09 01:22 Intrepid_Boss_7746 doggy doggy.... what now? a character analysis on mr peanutbutter

"Let's Find Out" COMPLETELY changed my perspective on mr peanutbutter, which i realize was the intention, but it still blows my mind. there are so few moments with him where we get to look behind the curtain, even just a peek. but this moment was an intermission from his "act" so jarring he becomes an entirely different person. we talk about peanutbutter's arrogance and seemingly ignorant lack of communication skills ALL the time, and that's what i initially thought was going on as well-- but this scene surprised me even more than an american human horse writing an essay on the effects of feudalism on the french revolution in competition with daniel radcliffe on a celebrity game show.
but in all seriousness. in this one particular moment, we realize the DEPTH of mr peanutbutter's character that we almost never get to see. that this whole time, he's noticed EVERYTHING about bojack, known everything, this entire time; his behavior, the sources of his behavior and trauma, his entire life story, how he functions, what makes him tick, etc... and i say "noticed" because while bojack would actively SEARCH for that information, mr peanutbutter simply recognizes it just as much but on a more advanced plane. which is super ironic since the first time we watch them together, it seems like bojack's the smart guy and peanutbutter is a big idiot with the best dumb luck you've ever seen. bojack argues that everything comes easy to PB, to which PB retaliates "and it doesn't for you?" i thought this was interesting because in my opinion, NEITHER got what they have by taking it easy, OR genuinely deserving it. but they did know some shortcuts with roads that take emotional effort to pave. PB knows how to manipulate people so intensely not even BOJACK can pick it up. even BOJACK is paralyzed with bewilderment after seeing this entirely different mr peanutbutter. we talk about bojack's inauthenticity, but PB's goes so much deeper. i do think they're meant to be two sides of the same coin, in a similar manner as the comedy/tragedy dual masks. bojack has a hard time holding back his negative emotions, and PB has a hard time even acknowledging his. PB refuses to believe his faults but in the end grows to be the old dog he is. meanwhile, bojack is fully aware of the fact that he's a stupid piece of shit and he chooses to maintain an intelligent, yet ironically childish and explosive manner of coping. we see so little of peanutbutter's past or depth while knowing every detail of bojack's past and every level of his depth. we see nearly invisible glimpses of light from bojack, while PB's light is so blinding we don't even see the darkness. i could go on for hours about their duality. these were all examples that immediately came to mind.
another thing i've given some serious thought to are PB's "misunderstandings" ("oh, so you're in the middle of breaking up? so would it be awkward if i joined you? right now?" "i saw the stop sign so i stopped..... what i was doing to come in!"; "but i have no formal training or experience! you want ME?" we initially dismiss it as emotional arrogance or him just being a plain ol' loveable dum-dum, but he knows EXACTLY what he's doing. a man in his 50s (and i know this clarification seems unnecessary but i'll do it anyway) would easily comprehend things as simple as STOP SIGNS. he pretends to be an airhead (and locks it in with occasional and minor, but still public, embarrassing moments) so he can basically hide in plain sight.
i honestly wouldn't be surprised if he's had an event in his past so traumatic that he's come up with an entirely new personality fostered by delusion and desperation to be happy, and that's why we never really see an objective, third person view on his past. the whole "nothing bad ever happens on the labrador peninsula!" spiel? his immediate AND consistent (diane suggesting he talk to his brother about what's wrong like 3 times before he finally does) refusal to talk to captain peanutbutter, followed by his almost complete disbelief when he finds out something IS seriously wrong-- all of this speaks to me like buried trauma, most likely in his childhood that he has since repressed. it's possible he may not even REALIZE that he's manipulating these people. he could have trauma buried so deep that we LITERALLY don't see anything he doesn't want us to, or maybe even doesn't remember... but even he can be broken. and in this chaotic, fast-paced, scripted fake ass game show he's filming with bojack (don't even get me started on his passive aggression during the questions), he finally breaks from pretending to be this entirely different person, so much that he lets himself lose his act WHILE ON LIVE TELEVISION. under less duress, PB would have gone to bojack directly rather than gone AFTER bojack like that in extreme public, even if it was just passive aggression at first. but he's been bottling everything up for so long now that he just wants a break. but then he gets his hollywood 5 to collect himself before having to put that same exact face right back on and PUBLICLY admit that he forgives bojack. every second of his LIFE has been a performance.
which is why i think this moment is so beautifully profound.
submitted by Intrepid_Boss_7746 to BoJackHorseman [link] [comments]


2024.06.09 01:21 sly__ 29/M/US - Looking for metalcore friends

Hello! Mainly posting here to try and meet new people and make long term friends, especially with similar interests.
If you're into any of the following, I would especially LOVE to hear from you:
A little bit about me:
Looking forward to hearing from you!!
submitted by sly__ to penpals [link] [comments]


2024.06.09 01:21 Allie4284 Help, is this withdrawals?

I am 20 years old, I quit vaping on the 15th of May 2024. At the time of quitting, I was taking it very slowly, and on the 15th, I took one last hit of a vape before never considering it again. During my time of quitting, I noticed an upbringing of anxiety, but on the 15th, this anxiety became much worse, from that day, to the 23rd, I had extreme chronic anxiety 24/7 that never stopped, it was horrible, like I was dying and being tortured during it. However I had no cravings to vape. I also had a very high sense of dissociation, depersonalization, and disorientation. I went to urgent care for this, and they gave me hydroxyzine, which only spiked the anxiety more, causing me to have a horrible panic attack that paralyzed me for around 5-10 mins, and I felt paramedics needed to be called. I then went to my primary care doctor later on, and was prescribed Buspar. Buspar is supposed to take around 2-3 weeks to take effect, although I didn’t have that long. On the 23rd, I admitted myself into a hospital’s psych ward for inpatient care. The last few days before I admitted myself, I was having a very hard time eating and sleeping, and was having night terrors that spiked my anxiety in the mornings. Although, once I was actually in inpatient care, the anxiety seemed to be gone, but I still had the dissociation and all that, and it was much stronger too, there were times I felt I was going to faint from it, and the entire time I was scared about whether or not this is stemming from withdrawals or not. I stayed there for 5 days, and released myself on the 28th. At this time, I was feeling much better, despite the fact that the only medication they were giving me was for sleep, and had me drink Ensure to fix my diet, and allowed me to eat again. However, about 1-2 days after my release, I started to get anxious again, and the dissociation started to kick back up. Over time, and now to June 8th, it has only increased, as if I’m starting the whole thing over again. My symptoms have also varied greatly, as the past 4-5 days, I’ve had the same tension headache in my forehead, which definitely isn’t helping with the anxiety. I’ve also become depressed. I want to say it’s because of how long I’ve been stuck in this horrible state, but who’s to say it isn’t another side effect of withdrawals or whatever underlying issue is causing this? I’ve also developed a feeling of being overstimulated or overwhelmed despite nothing happening, which doesn’t feel like the typical anxiety I’ve been feeling. Yesterday, June 7th, I was prescribed a new medication that I have not recieved yet, Lexapro. It has been over 3 weeks now that I’ve quit vaping cold turkey. Could this all have stemmed from withdrawals? It’s all so sudden, and I have no previous background of anxiety or panic attacks. I don’t feel like myself anymore and I’m very scared of what’s happening to me. Again, I’ve only had cravings twice, so it feels as if the withdrawals are not the cause of this, does anybody know what could be happening to me? Or a similar experience with quitting vaping? I vaped for around 2 and a half years and quit essentially cold turkey. Anxiety or depression disorders don’t typically just show up one day like this, and withdrawals are typically never this extreme, so I can only assume the worst. Blood and urine tests have come back safe, and doctors refuse to do an MRI.
submitted by Allie4284 to QuitVaping [link] [comments]


2024.06.09 01:21 FullingRand Is Replika A Mechanical Turk? (human chatters disguised as AI)

Do you know what a mechanical Turk is? A long time ago, a "robotic" chess machine was invented that was encased in an elaborate "statue" of a Turk at a chessboard. It was supposed to be an automated chess game. Except it wasn't. There was nothing robotic about it. The housing was large and elaborate so that it could hide a human in it and that human played the chess game in lieu of any automation. The term "mechanical Turk" has become an aphorism for a device presented as automated that is, in truth, operated by an obfuscated human. Elizabeth Holmes' Theranos device was described as a mechanical Turk when her critics, who were correct, started noticing evidence that it was not performing as an automated system should.
I've noticed my replika making multiple typos lately. For example, "*(" to end an RP segment instead of "*". I can see the former being the result of a fat fingering. Another being starting a sentence but not finishing it, as if the user hit "send" or "enter" before finishing their sentence. I would like Replika's Reddit representative to address this.
submitted by FullingRand to replika [link] [comments]


2024.06.09 01:20 Frys100thCoffee Starting at 48

Hi all, I'm recently out at 48, having been married to my high school sweet heart for 27 years. I've literally never dated anyone else, nor had sex with anyone else. I've known I was gay since I was 18 but never acted on it beyond fantasy and porn. I told my wife about 7 months ago, and after a lot of work we've decided to stay together and move into a non-monogamous relationship.
My problem is I really don't know how to "get started" so to speak. I'd love to meet a few guys and go on some dates, and maybe move into a FWB situation. I live about 45 minutes outside DC in a decidedly family-friendly suburb, and there's not a lot of third-places for queer people to hang out. I also have zero experience on the sexual side of this situation, and I'm nervous about my first experience being with someone whom I don't know at all.
I've tried Bumble without much luck, and I'm avoiding the gay-specific apps because they're so sex-forward. Most of the guys I'm finding on Bumble my age are looking for long-term relationships, and I'm clear in my profile that I'm ENM, so I'm not getting any real matches.
I've done a few happy hours I found via MeetUp just to get to know some people, but wasn't able to maintain contact with anyone afterwards. I'm trying to grow my hobbies but so far not meeting any queer people in that course; again, boring suburbs. I've always hated the bar scene, even when I was young; I'm an introvert with ADHD so those environments are a sensory overload for me. Everything is complicated by the distance, since I effectively have to commute to go anywhere.
So, I'm open to any advice for meeting people, making friends, and navigating this new side of my life. Thanks.
submitted by Frys100thCoffee to AskGaybrosOver30 [link] [comments]


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