Hello redditors and fellow writers! I've written quite a bunch of poems over the past few years yet and I'm working on publishing my work. However, as the title states, I have trouble devising the verses.
Here's one example:
"I pick at scars laying on shelves To create wounds for myself I have a desire to burn and destroy I treat every new day like a rotting old toy
When I feel the storm coming for me Do I run or do I let it be?
I read with my eyes gouged out I speak with my mouth sealed shut Im hearing your words with my ears torn I feel you on me, skin to bone
The fires freezing but it grows Ice melts reason and Im left with none
There is no poetry about me in your journal Your camera shutters to capture but I disappear When Im gone, let them have no memory of me
Let my ghost be the shivers on your back The itching in your throat, the fever coming back
Let me be the villain, in all the books for children The reason you go to sleep, and also wake up from it Let me be the scary fable, Haunting and hunting for as long as Im able Let me pass my hurt to you End the niceties through and through
Ive had my battle and i fought But I cant see a merry ending, theres no growth My wings are not of flames, I dont rise from my ashes I create traces of blood and ruin in my pasing I am not a healer, dont let me in through the front door You better lock all windows, let me mourn
I'll disrespect your last dying wish If I cant see any benefits Im a burden you would have to carry I come with warning labels, yet people are not wary Youre being ignorant then complain But it was my purpose to have to see you fail
I havent a choice in my upbringing Responsability's in my hands, I'm fiddling The vase sits pretty on the table, I break it with my voice I try not to doubt the noise But how can I not if it only destroys?
If I hit and run, the loss is in your favour I can feed you dreams but they'll lack flavour I can build you castles but they'll crumble Ask me the reason why, I'll mumble
I can try to keep an image that the frame doesn't hold I can try to wash clothes that are impossible to fold Yet you know the story's ending tragic It still doesn't change when you try to mask it
Let me stay caged or let me be me You can throw away your life or just throw the key"
Could you provide some advice regarding that? I feel as if I were to publish it it wouldn't go through as it doesn't look "professional" enough.

PART ONE THOUSAND AND TWENTY
[Previous Chapter] [The Beginning] [Patreon+2]
Sunday
Without Maddy in the room, things became rather heated between the humans and Llyr, with Sam’s dad absolutely refusing to budge on his stance despite how ridiculous he was being. Tiacor warned Miss W to calm down as her agitation was beginning to aggravate her young, and everyone agreed to sit down rather than stand and shout.
Lucas sat between Levi and Sam’s parents, for despite Maddy being the source of the argument and Levi being her father, Lucas had a better chance of reasoning with Llyr. Or, at the very least, not get murdered by him. That would upset both Sam and Miss W.
The final push to end the argument abruptly came from an unlikely source. Robbie walked through the door with his arms full of bags and grocery boxes, not all of which were labelled in English. The guy had gone on an international shopping trip.
“Hey,” he said, until the vibe of the room hit him with all the finesse of a Mack truck, and he drew to a halt in front of Llyr’s chair. “What’s going on?” His tone was cautious.
“Llyr doesn’t want Maddy to stay here in case she hurts Miss W,” Lucas said, bringing the situation down to its bare bones.
“No problem. Tiacor is always with Miss W,” Larry said, following Robbie in with bags of his own. “And with our speed, the kid won’t do squat that we can’t intercept.” He lifted his gaze to the true gryps healer standing in the walkway between the sofa and the kitchen island behind Miss W. “And why didn’t you say that?”
“Ivy is my charge,” Tiacor answered, standing her ground. “Not what happens to others in this household.”
Larry nudged Robbie to keep going and followed him into the kitchen. “You gotta get with the program, girl,” he growled, placing the bags on the island so he could do a slow helicopter-style circle with one finger while death-staring at Tiacor. “This whole apartment is part of the assignment. Every person staying here is important to the health and well-being of everyone else. You can’t do your job if you don’t see that, and I can’t believe I’m the one telling you. You’re the healer.”
Tiacor tensed, almost as if she were about to argue, but then she relaxed and nodded in agreement with the reprimand.
Robbie opened Voila and began putting all manner of grocery items in it, many of which Lucas didn’t recognise. Even the cold and frozen went in, though Lucas didn’t draw any attention to that fact.
As he worked, Larry went back outside and brought in more bags.
“Feeding an army?” Levi asked as he and Lucas both got up to help.
Lucas grabbed his brother by the shoulder and shoved him back into his seat. “Get off your busted foot, you moron,” he said and went down the gap between Sam’s parents and the coffee table.
“Always,” Robbie laughed at Levi’s comment while Lucas waited for Larry to come through with his next load before heading into the hallway outside. “I normally do this through the night, but I was kinda busy last night with Charlie.” He waggled his eyes. “If you get my drift.”
“Really?!” Levi groused while Lucas laughed at his indignation. “You have to talk about our sister like that?”
“You know he loves her, so shut up,” Lucas snarked, passing through the alcove and out the front door. It was a good thing he’d offered – there were like fifty more bags out there. Robbie must have remembered Levi and Maddy were in the apartment and came through the front door carrying only what was humanly possible. He leaned back into the apartment. “Ummm…Llyr, you wanna come help with all of this? I don’t think he left anything in any of the shops.”
Lucas fully expected Llyr to ignore the request and was mildly surprised when he appeared a few seconds later to help.
“I never said I didn’t want the child staying with us,” Llyr said, sliding several bags onto his arms and gathering more handles in his hands. “I said I wouldn’t be responsible for my actions should the child accidentally harm Ivy or worse. And if you think I’m alone in that mindset, you haven’t looked in on Sam lately. He’s terrified for his mother’s well-being.”
“I did see that at the party yesterday,” Lucas admitted, having been caught by surprise at Sam’s explosion at Jonathan.
Between the two of them, they grabbed over half of the remaining bags before Llyr spoke again. “So long as Ivy is protected, I genuinely have no problem with it.”
Which meant they’d been arguing for well over an hour for nothing. Dammit, Tiacor.
Robbie then unpacked some things into the fridge and the pantry, but those were items that the household would be grabbing out for themselves as snacks—things like ice cream and potato chips.
Once all the groceries were inside, Lucas went back into the alcove. He grabbed the larger clothes bags that held two sets of summer clothes, two sets of winter clothes, a summer and a winter pair of pyjamas and underwear, all in Levi’s size (Lucas knew the sizing, for despite being taller, Levi was a size smaller than Lucas and always had been).
He brought it back into the room and tossed it on the sofa beside his brother, where he’d been sitting.
Levi began pulling it out, quickly realising it was all for him. “What the hell is all this?” he demanded.
“I’ve seen what you look like when you stagger in after an emergency call-out. If it comes down to it, you can crash here until you can see through both eyes. I’m not putting Maddy in a car with you when you’re wrecked like that. I’ll arrest your sorry ass first.”
“You’re not paying for all of this…”
“For God’s sake, Levi. Will you just say ‘thank you’ and go and get changed?”
“This is crap,” Levi snapped instead.
“You talk like that in front of your little girl?” Miss W asked, arching her eyebrow reprimandingly.
Levi’s eyes dropped to the coffee table. “No, ma’am.”
“Good. Then go and get changed, and let Lucas wash the rest.” Her parental gaze then skewered Lucas next. “You were going to wash all those new clothes for them, weren’t you?”
Lucas wasn’t dumb enough to look at Robbie, who had been doing the laundry for everyone since … forever. “Yes, ma’am.”
Ivy smirked. “Good answer.” She clambered awkwardly to her feet, and Llyr was right there to help her. “I’m thinking I might go out for a bit this afternoon. Head into the office and see what’s been going on while I’ve been on leave.”
“Ivy, it’s Sunday,” Llyr argued.
“And if you think that matters to Ben Pomerac, it’s been too long since you’ve interacted with him, boo. Come on. You two got along like a house on fire before.”
“We were passionate about the cause,” Llyr agreed, letting her move ahead of him down the hallway towards their room.
“Would you like me to throw you together a picnic lunch to take with you?” Robbie called after them.
“Yes, please!” Miss W called back.
“Wow,” Levi said after they were gone, and Robbie had turned his back on them to busy himself in the kitchen, over-enunciating the syllable.
Lucas smirked at his brother. “I know, right? Reminds you of a certain matriarch in our family, doesn’t it?”
“That woman would eat Mom for breakfast.”
“I dare you to tell either of them that.”
“Hell no. I like breathing.” Levi then looked at the clothes. “I do appreciate this, Luk—as. But are you sure I can’t…?”
“Positive. I’m saving hundreds of dollars every week by living here rent and board free.”
“Wait, you don’t even pay for food or utilities or anything?”
Lucas shook his head. “I told you Llyr…”
“Yeah, but that’s Llyr. Robbie just paid a fortune for food…”
“And if you can get him to accept my money, you’re better than me. He’s even managed to put a block on money transfers from any of us after Boyd and I tried to sneakily put it into his account. He’s told us flat, ‘When you have even close to the same amount of money in your account that I do, then you can start paying your way. Not before’.”
“But he’s got millions in his account!”
“Yes, I do,” Robbie said cheerily from the kitchen, still putting together the picnic lunch as fast as humanly possible. “And if I wanna feed Lucas and anybody else in this place, it’s no one’s business but mine.”
“But you’re turning him into a kept man.”
Robbie’s scowl was instantaneous, with Lucas not far behind him. “Really?” Robbie growled. “That’s your read on this? That me sharing my good fortune with my best friends, who I happen to live with, is your idea of making your brother a kept man?” Robbie shook his head and made a negative buzzer noise. “No one is kept here, bozo, and I like cooking for everyone. The ingredients I use now are ridiculously expensive, and I’d never ask any of them to hand over that kind of money. This is my gift to them, and you aren’t taking that away from me.”
Lucas looked at his brother and arched a ‘tolja so’ eyebrow at him. “And I’m paying that gift forward with stuff you and Maddy need. So going back to what I said earlier, say, ‘thank you’ and go and get dressed before I kick your sorry tail down the hall.”
Levi climbed to his feet, hopping once to balance his weight on his medical boot. He then held his hand out to his brother. “Thanks, Lucas.”
Lucas took the hand and pulled him into a back-slapping embrace. “Anytime.”
“What clothes did you get Maddy?”
Lucas shrugged. “I’ve no idea. The shop assistant helped me out.”
“Good lord, do I even want to know how much they cleaned you out for?”
“Actually, she felt sorry for me since I was standing in the middle of the kid’s clothing section and wondering where the hell to start.” With an evil grin, he added, “Oh, I did buy something else for Maddy.”
Levi squinted one eye without saying a word, waiting for him to come clean.
“They had these cute little vet kits in the toy section. I bought her one of each.”
“Are you going to help me pay for her college degree in veterinary science?” Levi grumbled half-heartedly.
“If that’s what she wants out of life, absolutely. You’re a single dad trying to do it all on your own. It’s commendable but dumb. In fact, are you okay with me starting a college fund for her using the money I don’t spend here anymore?”
Levi huffed out a frustrated breath. “I don’t know, man. It seems … I don’t want you to think that’s…”
“You really don’t want to finish that sentence,” Lucas warned.
Levi snapped his mouth shut and breathed silently through his nose for a beat. “Well, I suppose a college fund … to be added to what I put away,” Levi insisted, determined to save some face in the matter.
Lucas knew ol’ bat ears in the kitchen would’ve heard every word, and whatever funds Maddy needed for her education would be paid for in full the day she signed up for the courses, regardless of whether the money was there or not. Charlie would probably want to pitch in as well when she found out, and Maverick had been riding Levi hard about letting him help pay for Maddy’s education, but somehow, in his brother’s eyes, it had seemed so wrong.
In this case, Lucas was simply forwarding money that should have been earmarked for something else. “Done,” he said before Levi could change his mind. He would need to check with the rest of the family to see if anyone else had the same idea but was doing it on the sly.
Their parents were at the top of that list, having put their oldest two through college. They hadn’t needed to with the rest since Maverick landed a full athletic scholarship, he and Levi had left school (ignoring the stint in rehab for his busted leg) and gone into emergency services, and Charlie went straight into Paul’s auto shop.
As such, Lucas was willing to bet that four-person nest egg was still sitting there, waiting for the grandkids to reach that age. It’d be weird if they all rocked up on day one of Maddy’s higher education, each with thousands of dollars to pay for the same courses.
Levi grabbed one of the summer sets of clothes and a pair of underwear and made his way around the sofa to the room he and Maddy had shared.
As soon as the door shut, Robbie stopped prepping the picnic lunch and realm-stepped away. Movement in the alcove said he hadn’t gone far. “What are you doing?” Lucas demanded, rounding the corner to see Robbie grabbing out fistfuls of clothing from the bags and dumping them on the floor. He stayed in the doorway to keep an eye out for Levi.
“Giving everything a quick clean,” Robbie answered without stopping. “Keep a lookout for me, will you?”
“Already am.” A couple of minutes later, his brother hobbled into the living room. “All good, bro?” he asked, more for Robbie than Levi.
“I’m still not overly comfortable with all this,” his older brother admitted.
Robbie swept all of the clothes he’d cleaned into Lucas’ arms and then realm-stepped away while he was still hidden from Levi’s sight. It took Lucas a hot minute to realise that, in doing so, the two brothers had been left alone for the first time since Levi and Maddy stayed over.
Thanks … this isn’t awkward at all, he thought to himself as Levi stared at the clothes in his arms. “Umm … this is pretty much all the clothes I got for Maddy…” he hedged, hoping like crap his brother would accept the gift without having another meltdown.
He braced himself for either when Levi hobbled around the sofas to reach him and pulled out a rainbow-striped dress with ruffles around the hem and on the thin shoulder straps. The torso was drawn in with a thick band of elastic. “I’m glad you told me the sales clerk helped you,” he said, grabbing a pair of underwear and breaking the tags off both with his teeth. “There’s no way you’d have picked this, and she’ll love it.”
“I bought shoes and slippers for her, too, in case you had to grab her from daycare or something and didn’t have time to go home.”
“Are you okay if I add you and whoever else you recommend to her pickup roster, in case I have to go straight in?"
"Sure," Lucas agreed, mad that he wasn't already ON that roster.
Levi nodded, still staring at the dress. "We’ll leave her shoes here,” he said, his emotions finally getting the better of him. “She can wear the pair she wore yesterday home.”
Lucas dumped the rest of the clothes on Llyr’s chair, gripped his brother’s shoulders and squeezed. “We’re family, man. If our positions were reversed, you’d do all this and more for me. It’s what family does.”
Levi nodded with a pinched smile that fought against the tears welling in his eyes, and then he bowed his head and rested it on his brother’s shoulder. Lucas hugged him close until he broke away with a silent sniff that was meant to appear like a sinus cleanse and headed down Llyr’s side of the apartment in search of his daughter.
“We’re all here for you, man,” Lucas whispered to his retreating back. "You don't have to do it alone."
* * *
((All comments welcome. Good or bad, I’d love to hear your thoughts 🥰🤗))
I made a family tree/diagram of the Mystallian family that can be found here
For more of my work, including WPs: Angel466 or an index of previous WPS here.
FULL INDEX OF BOB THE HOBO TO DATE CAN BE FOUND HERE!

Before I start I'd like to say that I don't want the comments to turn into any type of debate over politics or religion. I have been very hesitant to get into detail about my experiences because whenever I try it turns into a fight. I understand where those debates are coming from, but these are complicated topics, and this is not the time or place for them. I feel invalidated by these debates, because I feel my experience is being overshadowed, it feels no different than when my relatives use politics and religion as tools to silence my wants and emotions. I know this is a sensitive topic, but I hope you can understand where I'm coming from, and please be respectful to each other, thank you.
I divided this into subtopics so I don't ramble on forever and I wanted to make skipping triggering topics easier. This post might be a lot, so to anyone that would rather avoid these topics but opened this out of curiosity, follow your gut, I hope you have a great day. (TW: self-image issues, homophobia, suicidal thoughts)
TW Appearance and self-image issues:
I am a woman, and my wardrobe is the standard for how I'm expected to dress, I found it very empowering when I was younger, I don't dislike the things I wear now, it's more that I have no control over it that gets to me. My main problem is my hair, I hate how long my hair is, I've cut it the way I wanted (up to my ears) in middle school, kind of surprised my parents with it, they just scolded me and told me it's wrong but besides that brushed it off, I asked permission to cut it again when it was growing out, they adamantly refused, but did agree when I asked to cut it up to my shoulders as my high-school graduation gift, it's been a year now. I hate how I look with long hair, it just feels like a confirmation of all my doubts, that I'm fake, dramatic and an attention seeker, there is nothing authentic about how I look, nothing honest or real, but I know it's not a big deal and I sound stupid complaining about it.
TW Homophobia:
This can only be described as dread, paranoia and loneliness. I'm fluid with my sexual orientation and prefer being called queer, but Abrosexual is the closest label that describes my experience. I don't want to get into the whole process of accepting this but just know it wasn't pretty, and I know how a homophobe thinks, especially in my environment, I know for an absolute fact that no one in my family is a safe person to tell about this, I'm never going to be their first priority in any scenario, they will never put me and my word above their homophobia, being homophobic to them is being a good person. What's difficult is the family gatherings, we visit both my mother's and father's side once at least in a month it's very overwhelming, I'm constantly surrounded by people because both families are very big, my father's having at least 20 and my mother's 50, it would be alright if I was allowed to be alone but my mother expects me to converse and have small talk all the time, which often means hearing homophobic comments, but I can't avoid them my mother gets angry, I especially hate when she gets mad at me in front of everyone, it feels humiliating. (I'm at my father's as I type this lol the adults left to buy dinner so I'm alone with the kiddos)
I have a long distance friend that knows, but they are about a year younger, and have a lot of their own issues to deal with, I feel guilty complaining, besides it feels unfair that I'm handing them the responsibility of being the only one that knows so I'm trying to make it as low key as possible. I'm too busy currently to get into online communities, and it's hard to get close to any of my irl friends because I'm consumed by the idea that they can easily hate me if they found out not even that I'm queer but simply if I said I'm an allie, it be such a easy reason for them to end the friendship and I'd be stuck feeling more alone, All my irl friends have complained to me about how disgusting they find the lgbtq+ community, ex: how they hate seeing them in their shows, drop manga and manhwa stories as soon as a gay character is introduced, speculating that people in our classes are gay just so they can talk badly about them, and this isn't unique to my friends, homophobia is normal in my surrounding.
Living in my own world as a coping mechanism:
I am mostly adding this because I'm hoping someone will relate. It feels silly putting this after talking about bigotry but truthfully I'm ashamed of this a lot. It feels easier to say after opening up a bit. My main coping mechanism is daydreaming. I imagine myself looking how I want, talking how I want, doing what I want in a place where all of this is safe. I think the most embarrassing part is that I have an imaginary friend, I've had this ‘friend’ since 8th grade (6 years now), in my daydreams he's my friend that I consider a brother, or simply my brother, I think I've been in denial but it's clear to me that this ‘brother’ is my fantasy of who I want to be. I feel so stupid. I try to forget or ignore the fact I have these daydreams, but my day is horrible without them. I get irritable, anxious and fidgety, I feel dread like the end of the world is coming or like I'm about to have a heart attack.
TW Suicidal thoughts:
My head keeps telling me not to be an attention seeker and to end it there without adding this, but I need to hear it for once, I need it in text, I just want to know so badly if I'm lying to myself or if this is real. I don't remember the last time I feared death, I remember asking my friends before I understood mortality in 4th grade if I should die then so I can go to heaven without a trial. I remember when I understood mortality in 8th grade and would talk to the bus lady about how I wished I knew how to kill myself so I don't have to do my exams, I remember how confused her reaction made me. 11th grade, the most religious I've ever been, I had to keep reminding myself that suicide is a sin. I see myself now, with a date and a method in mind that I think and fantasies about all the time because I like how in control it makes me feel. I don't know if I should be concerned about doing something I will regret or if I should be mad at myself for making a big deal out of memories I could be remembering wrong and a thought I never even attempted. I feel stupid because I don't know if I truly don't fear it as I think, or is it that the thought that I'm not afraid of something most do makes me feel better about myself. Am I alive because I don't want to make my family look bad by committing a sin, or do I want to live? Will it go away if I move to a safe place or is this a problem with me?
But hey at least I know whether it's the worst or best case scenario the answer to both is therapy and a good support system. All I have to do right now is be patient.
Side note, I'm so excited to celebrate my first Pride month. I wish all of you the best. 🫶

Hey all- went to one doc and he looked at my ear and said it’s an infection gave Ciprodex asap. My ear was so clogged I couldn’t hear well. Next day my doc was closed so I sought another opinion bc I don’t like cipro, and was scared,
The next doctor cleaned my wax out. When she did, I felt the plastic tool touch my ear drum I think, and while my hearing went back to normal asap, my back of neck/ head area started aching. Anyway there would be wax that was coming out of my ear and stopped! Eventually I took a shower to wash my hair, and then clear liquid is leaving my ear.. idk what’s goin on so I put a tissue in my ear and I mworried I damaged it… I got another type of ear drop but didn’t start it because I have worries the label says a side effect is hearing loss

Memory Transcription Subject: Cristopir Elenura, Gentled Human Child, Radioman Apprentice.
Date [Standardized Human Time]: 489 AG.
Location: Karseran, Nomerka, Earth.
——
Ozone perforated the air, from far away lightning burning above. The rain had come in the morning and had not ceased over the hours, well into the afternoon. My long and pointed ears flicked too and fro at every distant clap of thunder, relaxed by the sound of rain colliding with the roof above my head. Of course I would have to walk home in this, but I hardly minded. I liked walking in the rain. It meant I could drag my hooves through every puddle and watch the world pass me by. The thought brought a smile to my face, my poor Father watching the rain fall with worry. Not for my health or any serious risks - but because he knew I’d return home sopping wet and trekking Yehu-knows-what home, risking the machinery inside. I would get an earful about being more conscientious and having better manners, but he wouldn’t stay mad at me. He never did.
A small smattering of peers sat alongside me in the small room that passed for a school. Most people didn’t bother educating themselves after all, so we didn’t need anything too big. Humans weren’t the brightest creatures anyway, most of us didn’t bother with fancy technology. The only reason why I was here after all, was because I was set to inherit the family business. I would become a Radioman just like every other male who shared the Elenura name, reaching all the way back to the Gentling of Humankind. While my Father taught me the maintenance and operation of the radio tower on the family land during the week, I was sent here to learn anything else applicable on the weekends. That was mostly math and history. I was more interested in seeing my friends here.
Today my regular teacher was out sick. So in her place was our local priest, Kessar. I didn’t like him much admittedly. He had a certain fire in him that I found rather scary. He was very tall for a human and had a glare that could melt steel, with a certain tone in his voice that I couldn’t quite describe. There were rumors that he had been a former exterminator, though that couldn’t be verified. For now we were stuck in a room with him, and had to endure his history lesson. He had wheeled out a diagram, comparing pre and post-gentling Humans to one another.
The difference was night and day. Humans prior to the gentling had been predatory primates. The diagram showed them as snarling, flat-faced, hairless creatures who had specifically evolved towards deception with their flat-teeth at the front of their mouths, hiding smaller fangs for rending flesh. It was far different. Apparently turning Humanity into proper prey had advanced genetic technology ages - and that was evident.
On the other side of the diagram showed a modern man. We are Cervines, apparently modeled off old Earth ‘deer’ - something our ancestors used to hunt. The diagram depicted us accurately, being tall and lanky - with thin and delicate limbs and weak lungs. Our faces featured pointed muzzles, panoramic eyes, and long ears. Of course men could grow antlers too! Dad told me I’m due for my first rack anyway! But uh … anyway, it showed that we had thin fingers suited to our work and hooves to stand on, being covered in thin fur that shared shades that our ancestors had. It was normal and safe. I hardly believed the creature on the left side of the diagram could have ever been my ancestor.
But he was, and that’s our shame. Something that the towering priest made sure that we knew.
“I’m sure that Mrs. Hlamul told you about men,” He began with his characteristic austere voice, “Bless her soul, she is a wonderful woman, but she simply has not had the time to teach you the severity of our guilt. So today, I shall teach you the methods in which our ancestors hunted, and the cruelty that it entailed.”
The room was so silent that I could have heard a pen drip if I had one.
“Will someone tell me Humanity’s situation in the galaxy, as it stands?”
One of my classmates, an apprentice to a doctor, spoke up. “Humanity is currently subject to the Healing Treaty, right? Humans can’t leave the planet until they’ve proven themselves as proper prey. Due to this, we’re also limited in the jobs we can take, and the technology we have access to?”
“Almost correct.” Spoke the Priest, “Humankind’s penance is to become the Federation’s breadbasket. Earth is the only fully agrarian economy in the Federation. Due to this, all work is inherited. But you are correct that we are prevented from leaving the planet, or being technologically on-par with our betters. Our shame is to be late to the stars. Now, can anyone tell me why?”
I raised my hand.
“Cristopir.”
“Because we were predators! We worked with feral animals to hunt all prey on Earth to extinction, and attacked Venlil Prime for meat. When the Federation defended them, we deceived multiple species to fight with us. Our first moment of empathy was accepting the cure, to spare our victims.”
It was well-known. At the heart of human culture was shame. We were adopted children of the Federation, humbled and turned into empathetic and loving creatures by science beyond our understanding. We deserved to be wiped out, but instead our betters lovingly grafted us into the herd. The only price we paid, was our isolation from the wider galaxy. An isolation that I would live to see. Realistically, I’d never see the stars. My entire life would be spent transmitting radio signals. But human eyes would once again see the Earth, in a gentler and far more empathetic light.
“Exactly. If any of you think this unfair, then I would like you to pay attention.” The Priest spoke, “And always remember that the Protector incarnated as Yehu, and tried to teach us better, only for us to horribly crucify him. Every bomb dropped on Earth was deserved.”
He reached down into his bag and produced a small item. It was small in his massive hands, long and thin like our fingers. “Come closer children, and look.”
Tentatively we approached his outstretched hand, gazing at it.
“What … is it?” Asked one of the students, which Kessar answered immediately.
“This is a Call. Humans used it to mimic the cries of infant animals, hoping to draw their concerned parents near. Listen.”
He held it to his mouth and blew, a strange chirping escaping it.
“And when their prey approached, they would use this to trap them and rend them in two with their teeth.” From the bag came another item, a far stranger one. It was a pair of rusty metal jaws, made of ancient steel. Curiosity set into the class, myself included, as we wondered how this could hurt anyone. It didn’t seem to have a trigger or …
Snap!
The jaws locked shut, a mechanism that I hadn’t even seen being triggered by a long ruler that Kessar used, now snapped in half. “It was made to resemble their jaws. It would snap a poor soul’s leg in half and force them to stay, watching the slathering hunters approach. This ‘bear trap’ as it was called, was not even the cruelest of their weaponry. Now … Let me show you the flail … “
The next few hours were equal parts horrific and fascinating, leaving no doubt in my mind that my ancestors were monsters. It was good that the Federation showed mercy to us, when we deserved none. The idea had burrowed deeply into my mind, having done so for my entire life. Now that it was time to leave I found myself in a strange mood.
It was still raining outside so I slipped on my raincoat, an outerwear made of water-resistant straw, and left the school accompanied by a friend of mine, Hroman, who was the apprentice of an engineer. The both of us weren’t satisfied with our job, admittedly, and we enjoyed dragging our hooves in the puddles and listing all of the things we’d rather be doing. It was how things was, I guess. My Father is a radioman, as was his father, and his father’s father, and every father that bore my last name. Same thing for Kessar, who came from a dynasty of priests, as did Hroman - the son of the engineer.
We had agreed long ago that we would have rather been space explorers. Hroman would’ve been the Captain, and me the first mate. But neither of us were in the mood to pretend right now, speculating on all the stars in the sky or how they would look. Especially when we had just seen what our species did the first time they made it to space. Instead we picked up our paces and avoided the puddles.
“I thought the blow dart was cool.” Hroman admitted as we walked, “Not for uh … hunting stuff or anything, but imagine what it’d do to an Arxur! If we had a buncha those and the Arxur invaded, we could stop them all by ourselves!”
“Ehhh … But they have scales. Those darts were made for prey skin, like ours. They prolly would be the ones using them against us. You know what would be really cool?”
“Yeah?”
“The Orbital Guns the Kolashians have! Why be down there in the first place, when we could just be up there and uh … shooting them, I guess. It’d be practical.”
Hroman let out a hum of consideration, his face deep in thought. “But … Practical is boring. Flamethrowers always work, right? Or the Exterminators wouldn’t use them. Those would work.”
“Flamethrowers are practical!”
“Ehhh, I’d probably burn my face off with one of those. Practical things don’t burn faces off.”
“Uh-huh, and I thought you were the engineer here.”
Hroman guffawed, “Engineers don’t use flamethrowers! We use like, blowtorches and stuff. Why do you think we use flamethrowers?”
I just shrugged as we walked. A cocktail of emotions had swirled inside me. After seeing all of that, I really did just want to go home. Sometimes Dad would pick up music from Venlil Prime and show it to me. Not that we didn’t have music of our own or anything, but it’s fun to imagine what more enlightened planets looked like, or … sounded like. Every faint song we picked up contributed to the image I had of the rest of the Federation. Shining, magical cities on hills, like Alarsalem or Toccjo. I hoped that he might’ve found something, since I could certainly use it.
And speaking of Dad, I could see the radio tower coming into view. That meant our property was getting close, and the sooner I got there, then the faster I could get home. Hroman and my path split, as I hurried up now that I was alone with my thoughts. But any excitement I had to get home dissipated, as I saw smoke in the distance. Had there been a fire? I pushed forward as I saw flashing lights. The Fire Department was already on it?
No …
Those were exterminators.
Two human exterminators stood near the source of the flames, dressed in their deep red suits. My worry only grew. Had Dad been attacked? I clutched the edge of my rainsuit, hurrying over with saucer-wide eyes. The Exterminators before me seemed alarmed beneath their masks, stepping back so I could see the issue.
A smoldering body laid sprawled upon the ground. My father.
I pushed past the exterminators, kneeling before the corpse with a jaw that laid agape and leaking, wide eyes. What … What had happened? Why did they kill him? What would I do now? I could scarcely hear their faint chatter as I locked eyes on the charred corpse.
“Shit, kid, I’m sorry. He came down with PD and attacked your neighbors. He had to be put down-“
I just stared, my ears flat against my head. Dad had PD? How? How did he get it? He had always been so empathetic … One of the two exterminators placed a hand on my shoulder, kneeling next to me.
“Hey, it isn’t your fault. Everything will be alright, can you come with us?”
I couldn’t respond as I already began to cry.
Realizing this, the Exterminator offered his arms to me, which I took gladly. I hugged my father’s murderer, loathe to let him go. I didn’t consider what would happen to me now that my only educator was gone. Only that I’d never talk to Dad again, or listen to alien music with him, or even see his face. All I had now were memories. Especially since even my home would soon be torn from me.
In the truest sense of the word, I was alone.

It was around at the end of scene, I'd say through the 2010s and the last I saw of it was 2016 (but I live in the Southern US, so things aren't as modern as in other places. That is a loose timeline lol)
The main things that I remember from it are this Cookie Monster T-Shirt, cartoon-character snapbacks, ear gauges, including ICP ones, these studded belts and a lot of stoner merch and checkered patterns. I know for a fact it was very adjacent to the scene/emo subcultures, and I know it was a consistent look/subculture. I just don't know the label to look for what I'm trying to find exactly!
It was a little bit enmeshed in the party/rave circles, but a little more... get super messed up w friends at home than go out to a rave to get messed up. but trippy house decor, things you'd see in raves as accessories. The music was even pretty similar to the stuff people consider scene, but more broad in what was included. Everyone (or almost everyone!) was a stoner, but it felt a little more specific.
They might not have had a strict label, I just really need help finding more stuff surrounding it!

Killer Grips: Anne Maria, Justin, Topher
Screaming Gaffers: Chase, Jasmine, MK, Ripper
Episode 16: Dial M for Merger
"Last time, on Total Drama Action! It was a festival of guts, determination, and sweat, as yours truly put our contestants through their sports movie paces!"
"And despite Anne Maria's cheerleading skills, the Grips lost the challenge. Lucky for her, it was Millie who was sent packing, but not before giving a goodbye and warning to her boyfriend."
"But there's no time to think about our coifs today," Chris continued in his control room before pressing a button on his keyboard, causing the three monitor feeds to switch to a half-closed iris view, "'cause today, we're gonna make the best spy movie ever!"
The scene flashed to a close-up of one of the monitors, and Chris walked through the iris' white space in his baby blue tuxedo. "And we might have a few sneaky surprises along the way," he said as the iris followed him to a classic spy-movie tune. He threw a tomato through the iris at the camera and it splattered; the pulpy remains slid down as a transition to the host standing back by the cast trailers. "Right here, on Total! Drama! Action!"
(Theme Song)
The episode opened on a close-up of a fly as it buzzed down through the sky to a plate of sandwiches being carried towards the common area in front of the trailers by Topher of all people. "Hey, everyone! Look what I brought!" he said with a cheery tone and wide smile, waving to the Gaffers who were seated on one of the benches around the central fire pit.
Chase and Jasmine shared a confused look as the camera briefly lingered on the four, while MK and Ripper merely stared dully at the passing dirty blond. The shot cut over to Anne Maria and Justin on opposite ends of the other bench, the former filing her nails while the latter looked at his reflection in his mirror with a smile.
“Do any of you want a sandwich?" Topher asked the others. "We may be in a game, but we can take advantage of our down time." He sat down in between his teammates and started to eat a sandwich, his teammates ignoring him.
Confessional: MK
“Topher of all people is not caring only about himself for once?" MK asked the confessional camera in an incredulous tone while crossing her arms. "There has to be a reason, and I know it's not going to be non-ugly."
Confessional Ends
"Thanks, honey, but I'm not in the mood right now," Anne Maria said with a hint of sadness.
"Is something the matter, Anne Maria?" Topher asked, leaning closer to the tanned girl.
"It's nothing for you to worry about," Anne Maria replied, standing up and walking back towards the girls' trailer.
Confessional: Anne Maria
“I can't believe that Justin used his looks in order to sway my vote away from him and onto Millie,” Anne Maria groaned. “I'm normally stronger than that, and I was just starting to consider Millie as pretty cool after seeing her go all out in the challenges. I really underestimated her a lot before and during this season.”
Confessional Ends
Anne Maria turned the handle, and quickly realized the door wasn't budging. "Looks like Chris McDodo locked the doors again," she deadpanned just before a small, camera-like device suddenly descended from the canopy above the door to a dramatic piece of background music reminiscent of spy movie intrigue.
It scanned the hair-obsessed girl's eyes, then in a robotic voice declared "Intruder alert! Entry denied!" Before Anne Maria could react, the steps leading up to the door collapsed into a slide that sent her falling back into a pit that suddenly opened up in the ground.
"Anne Maria!!" Topher dashed over and looked down into the pit from above. Out of nowhere, a small purple-fletched dart hit him in the neck; his eyes immediately drooped and he moaned, then fell forward into the pit.
MK laughed as she walked over to the pit. "I can't believe you two got punked like that!” As she grinned mockingly down at them, a black bowler hat spun through the air in the foreground. The camera followed it as it circled around, eventually hitting MK in the back of the head and knocking her into the pit as well.
The other four gasped. "Run for cover!" Jasmine cried as she, Chase, and Justin ran into the boys' trailer and slammed the door shut. Ripper tried to open it to get in, but the door was locked.
"Hey!" Ripper yelled as he pounded the door. "Let me in!"
"What is even going on?!" Chase cried from inside the trailer.
Confessional: Ripper
"I knew the producers were jerks, but I never thought that they'd have the guts to try and murder us," Ripper angrily whined. "They better hope that I don't make it out alive, cause I will-" he was interrupted by a white hand clubbing him on the back of the head and knocking him out.
Confessional Ends
"Hey, where's Ripper?" Justin looked around as the camera cut back to the inside of the trailer, Jasmine firmly holding the door shut and Chase sitting on a bunk bed.
"He obviously got taken along with Anne Maria, Topher, and MK," Chase said. "Right now is a good time to be selfish and only worry about ourselves!"
"I'm just lucky that I have my calming beauty and soothing complexion," Justin said.
"There is no way that this is happening to us!" Jasmine growled, only to be cut off by a small canister being thrown in the room and filling the air with a purple gas. The three teens coughed a bit before passing out.
The numbered studios were shown briefly, the camera panning up to the fake hill and the sky before cutting to what looked like the inside of a cave with numerous stagelights set up on the ceiling and floor.
The camera panned down to the seven contestants lying in a heap on the ground and groaning as they regained consciousness. Anne Maria, Topher, and MK were tangled together on the far left; Ripper and Jasmine laid apart in the center; and Chase was on top of Justin on the right.
Chase tries to get up, but he accidentally whacked his elbow on Justin's eye, making the model yelp in pain.
"My eye! My beautiful, uninsured eye!!" Justin got up to feel his now swollen left eye.
"Sorry. Are you okay?" Chase checked with concern.
“I bruise easier than a clingstone peach! Must prevent swelling, I need ice!” Justin started to run around. “Ice?!” He paused in order to take out his mirror and look at his face, and he began to cry. “I am a hideous beast!” the hot teen griped and got on his knees. “Nobody will ever hire me now and my modeling career is over! I'll have to go work in the circus as a... as one of those... circus freaks!”
The camera cut over to Anne Maria, who was walking around. "Where's my nail filer?" she demanded. “I think I scraped one of my fingernails.”
“Here you go,” MK got up and handed Anne Maria the nail filer. “One of my fingers is broken, but you don't see me crying for a bandage.”
The viewpoint moved over the shoulders of the regrouped teens as the dramatic spy theme started up again and a holographic image was projected in front of them courtesy of a machine in the cave wall. It quickly formed a scene of Chris McLean sitting in his control tent and laughing evilly, with a patch over his left eye and a short-haired white cat getting stroked in his lap. Justin and Jasmine gaped as they looked up at it, as did Anne Maria and Chase.
"Wel-kom, to ze cloak an dag-gehr, world ov Spy Moveez, mon and wom-mon!" Chris told them in an utterly indeterminate accent.
"Can you repeat that?" Anne Maria barked. "We can't understand you over that bad Jamaican accent!"
"Jamaican?!" Chase exclaimed. "That was Japanese!"
"No, it was Swedish!" Topher corrected as the camera focused on Chris getting increasingly annoyed.
"French!" MK guessed.
"It almost sounded Italian to me," Ripper said.
"Umm, hellooo?" Chris interrupted in his normal voice. "It's Russian? And I should know. Because I am an ac-tor!"
"Really?" Anne Maria doubted him with a smirk.
"Any good spy in any good spy movie must have three essential skills," Chris continued, ignoring the comment. "One, the ability to deactivate a bomb." The top-left quarter of the screen changed to a picture of wirecutters preparing to snip the wire of a bundle of dynamite sticks.
"Two, the ability to escape an exploding building." He ducked down into the bottom-left corner as the bottom-right corner became a picture of a figure jumping down from an explosion at the top of a skyscraper.
"And three, the ability to fake an accent that makes people believe you actually speak the language," he said as he returned to the top-right corner and the bottom-left became no more than a standard portrait of himself. "Likea my fab Russian ac-cent, mon!" he said in the mangled accent he'd used earlier.
Chase rolled his eyes and Anne Maria pursed her lips in annoyance, while Justin, Jasmine, and Ripper just stared up at him blankly. "You'll need two of the three skills to get through today's reward challenges," Chris told them all in his normal voice. "Can you guess which two? Let me give you a hint!" He switched to his awful Russian accent and said "Not da tird one, mahn!" He began to laugh evilly again, and the castmates turned to each other.
"Does anybody know anything about bombs here?" Topher asked the contestants.
“You're looking at a chem queen here!” MK gloated.
Confessional: MK
"We've had different movie genres used as themes each time," MK confessed, "and most of them required the use of athleticism. I'd prefer having challenges I can easily excel at instead of ones like the sports fiasco."
Confessional Ends
"Well, we know who's so eager to handle our bomb," Ripper told his teammates with a look towards MK.
“Hey, I wasn't particularly volunteering,” MK objected.
"We'll be supporting you though," Jasmine told the techno girl with a smile and a hand on her shoulder.
"Oh," Chris interrupted on the holographic screen, "and one last thing! Since I'm really ho-hum bored of the teams, I'm bustin' 'em up! From now on," he told the castmates as they watched in stunned silence, "it's every dude and dude-ette for themselves! I'll see you back on solid ground. Let the double-oh-sevening...begin!" Just before the holographic projection ceased, the white cat the host had been petting turned and attacked him.
"Well, regardless of what Chris said," Jasmine told Chase, MK, and Ripper, "I see no reason for us to break up. Alliance?"
She put her hand forward, and it was soon joined by Chase. “Sure thing!” he agreed and the two looked over at Ripper and MK, who shared a brief glare at each other before putting their hands in as well.
"Yeah, we're in," Ripper said, disgruntled.
"It feels strange being broken up," Anne Maria said out loud. "Especially after everything we've been through."
[A pop tune began to play as the scene showed seven rows of silhouette contestants blinking one-by-one before showing them all at once. From left to right were Topher, MK, Chase, Jasmine, Justin, Anne Maria, and Ripper.]
"Life begins after school."
[MK was playing on a handheld keyboard as Justin put an arm around her shoulder and snapped his fingers.]
"That's when we bend all the rules."
[The hands of Anne Maria, Chase, and Ripper also snapped their fingers. Soon, a five-way collage of Ripper on the top left, Topher on the bottom left, Anne Maria on the top right, Chase on the bottom right, and Jasmine in the middle presented itself as the five smiled at each other.]
"In a place where we belong!"
[The seven contestants were lying on the ground holding hands with each other while the camera zoomed out to show them surrounded by their trailer set.]
"I'm sixteen! Starting to find my way!"
[A yellow background was shown with the contestants smiling at the camera. From right to left were Jasmine, Anne Maria, Chase, Topher, MK, Justin, and Ripper.]
"Got a new job, gonna start at the mall today!"
[Pictures of the seven displayed. The top row had Anne Maria, Topher, Justin, and Jasmine, and the bottom row had Chase, Ripper, and MK. The song ended with the cast throwing scraps in the air as the camera zoomed out to show the entire set.]
"How do we get out of here?" Chase asked after the montage ended, looking around the room with his teammates-turned-allies.
"It's likely some kind of secret passage," MK said. "We should try bumping into random things. One of them's probably a switch."
All seven were shown searching the cavern for a few more seconds, until Justin rested on a particularly seat-like stalagmite which turned out to not be a stalagmite at all, but merely a large switch in the shape of one. He nearly lost his balance and fell over as a part of the nearby wall slid away, but he stopped herself in time. "Over here!" he called to the others.
“Way to go, Justin!” Topher congratulated him.
“Good eye!” Jasmine added in as well before they all headed for the exit.
Confessional: Justin
“Now that I'm a hideously deformed circus freak, I have to rely on my brains to win this thing,” Justin confessed before looking up at his head. “You hear me, brain? Yeah! I'm speaking to you!”
Confessional Ends
Justin joined the others in the elevator that had been revealed in the wall, and the doors slid shut with a ding.
A dinging sound characteristic of an elevator stopping at multiple floors accompanied a rising shot of what appeared, on the outside, to be a large water tower. The scene cut inside, revealing a large and mostly-empty circular room that was lined with carved stone columns. In the very center was a pedestal with a tall glass dome enclosing a bag of something or other, and illuminated from below.
Another ding sounded as the castmates walked into the room, Ripper and MK taking the lead followed by the rest in the back.
"Cool!" Ripper said with an awestruck smile.
"Awesome!" MK echoed with a smile of her own.
"This is like some kind of museum!" Jasmine added.
The viewpoint shifted behind the seven as they came to a halt and another hologram of Chris – back in his usual clothes and covered in faint scratch marks – was projected in front of them. "Don't I look awesome in blue?" he said idly to his uninterested audience. "Now, for the first part of the spy movie challenge. See that case in the middle of the room?" He pointed to the glass-covered pedestal, and the camera cut in for a close-up of it. "You have to get whatever's inside, 'cause you're gonna need it for part two of the challenge!"
"An easy smash and grab?" Ripper smirked as he walked forward. "Just my cup of tea!"
As he walked cockily past one of the pillars, a small panel slid open in it and a laser popped out, the beam quickly reflecting off a number of mirrors mounted around the room. The host cleared his throat just as a beam shot over Ripper's shoulder causing the boy to yelp and recoil away from it, and Chris said "I need to finish! You gotta get whatever's inside without setting off the alarm. But be careful. Those lasers will cut you clear in half!"
"I'm a lot better whole!" Chase said in shock.
“Fitting under there is gonna be tough for my weight,” Ripper warily approached the laser field.
"But for me, it's no problem," MK told him.
"Brain, got any ideas?" Justin spoke to himself.
"I think I can handle this," Jasmine said as she crouched down and pounced through a gap in front of her, rolling back on her feet without getting hit once. "I'm not gonna be a singed turkey today!" she said with a confident smirk.
The footage skipped forward to Jasmine doing an awkward headstand in the middle of the laser field, her legs bent at two awkward angles as she wobbled in place, trying to keep herself from falling over.
"In retrospect, I should have done something else!" she exclaimed just before the camera pulled back a little to show Chase slinking through the lasers nearby.
"My athletic skills are really coming through for this!" Chase said, only to yelp after accidentally touching one of the beams with his fingertips. "I also need to improve on my concentration skills."
The shot cut over to Topher and Anne Maria, the latter quickly ducking through the lasers with ease while the former struggled to maneuver his muscular upper body low enough to pass under the next beam. "Agh!" he cried in pain as his back got singed, and he looked up to see Anne Maria standing in front of him with a small smile on her face.
"Would you like some help, Topher?" she asked.
"Obviously!" Topher answered, singeing his shoulder when he tried to move it.
Another cut put the focus on MK as she maneuvered the field with a confident smile on her face. From a crouching position, she jumped up and over the next laser between her and the case, tucking her legs and rolling in mid-air before landing on both feet. "This is actually kind of fun!"
Meanwhile, Ripper was now in a tangled position as he tried to move through the lasers. “Couldn't the lasers have been more spread apart?!” he said.
The camera cut over to Justin, who had yet to enter the laser field and was holding his mirror. “Okay, brain, it's all up to you. I know you haven't had a lot of exercise in the past, um... sixteen years, give or take, but you can do this.”
He started making his way towards the lasers, only to slip and slide towards one of the beams below him. Justin used his mirror to shield his face, and in return, reflected the beam backwards. “Mirror mirror in my hand, who is the smartest one of all?” the eye candy chanted after the discovery.
The focus moved back to Chase as he slipped down under another low beam, and the shot briefly cut to an overhead view of the room, showing that he and MK were the closest to the central case, followed by the still-upside-down Jasmine, Anne Maria and Topher, and Justin and Ripper still close to the edge of the lasers.
"How do you feel knowing that us four are gonna dominate the other three in the votes from here on out?" MK said to the daredevil.
"Pretty good. Our chances of winning are secured, but I have some doubts about it," Chase responded without taking his eyes off the lasers in front of him.
MK paused in her tracks, and gave Chase a look of suspicion. "What do you mean you have doubts? You were the first to agree with Jasmine's proposal."
Chase got himself between two lasers safely. "It's just that you and me don't really get along that much. You'll likely betray me, Ripper, or Jasmine if it means it'll benefit you."
MK started to step over another laser, which just about finished closing the gap between her and Chase. “I only betrayed Scott, and he was a threat last season. I'm not gonna do the same to you guys.”
Confessional: MK
"I'm bluffing," MK told the confessional camera. "There's no way I'm not gonna drop one of my alliance members when the game is nearly over. Millie being gone is a blessing. If she was still here, she'd convince Chase to gun for me."
Confessional Ends
"Just a little more," Anne Maria said softly as she guided Topher's leg over a laser with one hand and held onto him with the other. "There!" she smiled once the leg was temporarily out of harm's way again.
"Thanks!" Topher smiled at her before turning a troubled look towards the case. "But I don't think we're going to get to the case first."
"Yeah," Anne Maria said while looking in the same direction, "but we should at least try. We're not last season's quitters anymore!" She quickly ducked under the next laser, then took him by the hand and started to guide him forward as well.
“Uh, pros and cons of life as a circus freak,” Justin wondered to himself, still in the same position. “Pro, travel. Con... the bearded chick.”
The scene moved back to Chase, who was now ducking and sliding closer and closer to the case until he was out of harm's way. “I made it first!!” he whooped before giving the case a blank stare. "So, what do I do now?"
"Just grab something and smash it open!" Ripper called, having gotten further ahead but was still lagging behind.
"That's not an entirely good idea," Jasmine told him, her legs ready to be rested. "It's possible that Chris gave the case more than one layer of protection!"
"I'm pretty sure the only protection this has is the glass," Chase said as he looked at the case, then bent down to examine the pedestal it was on. "What exactly am I supposed to smash it with?"
"Just punch it with your hands or better yet, headbutt it," Ripper suggested as he wobbled on his hands.
"Actually," Chase replied, turning his head back towards him and grinning, "I think I have an idea."
He took a few steps back and jumped into the air in order to karate kick the case heavily with his foot. There was no effect at first, but once he landed back down, the glass shattered into countless pieces.
Almost immediately, the lasers began to turn off. “Splendid!" Jasmine smiled as the beams around her retreated, the machines creating them retracting into the columns around the room, prompting her to fall on her back.
Confessional: Ripper
"About time those lasers went off," Ripper confessed, "One of my brothers pressed his hands on my dad's iron one snowy day because he stuck his hands in snow and wanted to warm them up!” He laughed briefly at the memory. “That's why I didn't run through the lasers. I didn't want a third degree burn like my brother.”
Confessional Ends
"Umm, what am I supposed to do with a weird gun and wire cutters?" Chase asked as he pulled the tool and a grappling gun out of the sack and the others walked over to him.
"They're meant to help escape a building that's about to explode," Anne Maria told him.
At that instant, the room was tinted red as Chris' hologram reappeared. "The room blows in ten!" he announced with an evil grin as an appropriately dangerous tune began to play in the background and the castmates screamed. The camera focused on a small timer in the corner of the projection, which counted down along with the host. "Nine! Eight!”
(Commercial Break)
The episode returned to a repeat of Chase discovering the tools and Anne Maria describing what they were meant for just as Chris' hologram reappeared.
"The room blows in ten!" Chris counted down as the castmates screamed. "Nine! Eight! Seven! Six! Five!"
"I don't want to die!" Topher cried as he grabbed Anne Maria and held her tight.
"That makes both of us!" Anne Maria cried and embraced him back.
"There's no time to escape!" Ripper shrieked in panic and hugged Justin without thinking.
"Where's the exit?!" Chase shouted with frantic fear as he and Jasmine looked around the room.
“I'm too cool to be killed!” MK stood in the middle of them all, eyes clenched tight.
"Three! Two! One!" Each group of castmates was shown again in quick succession. "PBBBT! SUCKERS!" A raspberry and laughing exclamation ended the countdown, and the red light faded from the room. "You shoulda seen the looks on your faces!"
All seven glared up at him, but the camera focused on Topher and Anne Maria as they looked back at each other and separated.
Confessional: Anne Maria
"Even though he only did it because he thought we were about to die, I… kinda enjoy hugging Topher at that moment." Anne Maria admitted. "I don't let anybody touch my hair, tan, and everywhere, but I'll make an exception for Topher. He's a pretty good hugger."
Confessional Ends
"You'll need the zipwire gun and the wire cutters for the next spy challenge," Chris told the cast. "Whether Chase, our little cat burglar, chooses to share the tools with the tools," he said as Chase was shown looking at the two items he'd won, "is totally up to him. Oh! And by the way! The first countdown was just a test! The real countdown begins, now!"
The room was bathed in red light again and the timer appeared in the corner of the projected screen as the grinning host began to count. "Thirty! Twenty-nine! Twenty-eight!"
"We really are gonna die!" Topher shrieked.
"But we can't be!" Ripper exclaimed. "What's to say that Chris isn't faking us out again?"
The camera quick-panned down and outside to the base of the tower, where a large number of bombs, mines, and fireworks were planted.
It cut back inside as Jasmine spoke up. "Well I am not going to risk my life against Chris's whims. We need to set up the zip line now."
The shot moved to MK as she walked over to the wall and pushed against one of the panels – it swung out into the open air with little resistance. “Come over and check this out!” she waved the others over.
Jasmine looked out through the hole. "Just what we needed," she said. "If we can secure one end of the line to a building, and the other to this pillar," she pointed at the nearby column, "then we can escape."
Confessional: MK
“I'm aware that Chase has the gun to save our lives, and knowing him, he'll definitely save our lives without asking for anything in return,” MK theorized. “I'm not saying that I'd be heartless enough to let my competition die unless I was given something like a cut of the money, but I would save everybody first and then ask for something small like a share of today's reward.”
Confessional Ends
Chase started to walk towards the opening. "Is anybody gonna come with me or not?" he asked.
"You're not going to ask for anything in return?" MK asked.
"Why would I?" Chase responded. "If this is not another fake-out, then I am definitely not letting either of you die."
The shot cut over to a close-up of the time as it ticked down to 16, 15, 14 before moving back to the castmates. "This is unsurprisingly selfless and noble of you!" Ripper said dryly.
"Hey, it's what I do," Chase said, and the footage was paused.
Chris stepped in front of the screen and said "I knew there was a good reason for Chase to be in this season. He's as reckless as he is nice!" He stepped back out of sight, and the footage unpaused.
The daredevil started to glare, and the timer was shown counting down to 11 and 10. "The clock's ticking," he reminded the others. "Are you in, or not?"
“We're in!” Topher agreed. “I am too young to die!”
“Great!” Chase then pointed the zipwire gun at the hole in the wall and fired. The view moved outside as the grappling hook flew out of the tower, bounced a few times off the roof of a nearby building, and was reeled back in until it got hooked on a vent.
Back inside, Chase was tying the other end of the line around a nearby column when MK spoke up. "How are we all gonna fit with just one line?"
"Leave that to me," Jasmine said. She removed her belt, slung it over the line, then positioned herself in front of the opening. "Hop on, everyone!"
The beeping continued as the shot moved back outside, focusing on the belt first as it slid down the line before zooming out to show the screaming contestants – Jasmine holding onto the belt, Ripper and Topher holding onto her, Anne Maria with her arms around Topher's neck, Ripper having MK on his back and Chase on his leg, and Justin with his arms around Chase's chest.
They landed on the other roof, with Justin skidding along for a bit, MK flipping forward onto her back shortly before Topher landed with Anne Maria on top on him, Ripper landing on his butt, and Chase flying past the screen with a scream before Jasmine face-planted.
"It's gonna blow!" Ripper cried as he squeezed his eyes shut and covered his ears. The shot cut over to the explosives at the base of the tower as the lone fuse burned the last few inches...and fizzled.
"Crimney! We've been had again!" Jasmine exclaimed as she got up and put her belt back on.
"Chris is just downright awful," Chase grumbled.
"As if we have the budget to blow up an entire building!" Chris explained, the camera panning across the roof to reveal him at the end leaning against some tarp-covered object. "I was just playing with ya! Again. Because I can," he grinned.
"Some of us almost wet ourselves!" Topher said angrily.
"Right. Some of us did," Ripper said, immediately covering his wet spot on his shorts.
"Okay, kiddies!" Chris announced. "Time for your next super-spook challenge!" He grabbed the tarp and yanked it away, revealing a series of identical-looking oil drums with LCD timers strapped and wired onto the side. "In front of you, you will see seven bombs," he told them as he walked in front of the seven drums. "You will have to deactivate the bombs with only the tools you got from the last challenge – the wire cutters. Oh, wait!" the host frowned playfully. "Wasn't Chase the only one who got the wire cutters?"
“Locked and loaded!” Chase smiled at the tool in his hand.
Chris laughed. "Well, I guess everybody else will just have to find their own way of cuttin' the wires," he said with a jovial shrug. "Sucks to be you! Any questions?"
"Will you be giving us the bomb schematics?" MK asked.
"Is this another fake out?" Justin raised his hand.
"Is this something we can actually do, or are these gonna blow up no matter which wire we cut?" Jasmine asked bluntly and forcefully.
"Cool," Chris said with a grin. "If there are no questions, then what are we waiting for?" He walked a couple feet away, then paused and turned back. "Oh yeah! One more thing! Those barrels are filled with the most stinky, the most noxious substances known to humankind! Yeah, that's right. We're talking major stink bomb."
"Worse than a perfume spill?" Anne Maria asked.
"Yes," Chris replied simply. "Yes it is. Yo, Chef!" he called off to the side.
The large man rose up to the roof on a scissor lift wearing a tennis outfit. "Why can't you handle this?" Chef told the host while walking over to the bombs. "I'm busy!" He flipped a switch next to the first barrel from the right, then walked back.
A quick series of high-pitched beeps signaled the bombs' activation, and the camera zoomed in on the timer – now counting down from 3:00. Chris got on to the scissor lift with Chef, and they started to descend. "Good luck," the host told the castmates, "'cause this time, you're really gonna need it."
The contestants took positions behind each of the bombs, with Chase and Anne Maria taking the pair on the far right. "Okay, looks like we got blue, yellow, and red wires," the Jersey girl mused as she looked over the bomb.
Next to her, Chase was quietly inspecting his bomb with the wire cutters held tentatively above. The camera short-panned to the left to show Ripper, MK, and Jasmine at the next three bombs.
"Didn't you say you had an IQ of 170?" Ripper asked the girl next to him.
“That doesn't mean that I can't stop the bomb with my mind!" MK shot back.
“This alliance is definitely going to need more spirit,” Jasmine mumbled.
The camera panned over to Topher and Justin. “Defusing stink bombs is not something that I want to do as a job,” Topher said to himself.
“Okay, brain. Now's the time to bring it,” Justin said. “Eenie, meenie, miny, mo. Ooh! Or is it miny, meenie, eenie, mo? Brain, don't be messing with me now!”
"Okay, so which one am I supposed to cut?" Chase wondered.
"One that doesn't cause your stink bomb to explode," MK told him dryly.
"I know that," Chase said, "but how are we supposed to guess which one it is?"
"Just use luck," MK muttered.
"Isn't it the red wire they always cut in the movies?" Ripper wondered aloud as the camera short-panned back to him. "Or is that the one you're not supposed to cut? Think, Ripper, think!"
Topher sighed as the timer ticked down past 2:00. "We should just guess randomly!" He grabbed the red wire and began to snap it on his knee. It broke in seconds, and the timer attached to it stopped counting down.
"Hey! It worked!" Jasmine cheered. "Nice job, Topher!"
"Yeah!" MK spat. "He won the challenge."
"Hold off on the celebrations!!" Chase shouted. "The rest of us still have to defuse the bombs and we've only got fifty-three seconds!"
"Got it," Jasmine said seriously. She tore the red wire with her bare hands.
MK took a bite out of her wire and spit it out. “Done!”
Ripper ripped his wire apart forcefully. “Done!”
Justin used the sun's ray through his mirror to melt his wire. “Done!”
Anne Maria filed her wire with her nail filer until it was cut through. “Done!”
And Chase used his wire cutters on his wire. “Done!”
"We did it!" Topher cheered.
"This alliance is working wonders already!" Jasmine said.
“Brain, this just might be the start of a beautiful friendship,” Justin smiled.
Anne Maria frowned. "If we cut the wires, then where is that beepin' comin' from?" She looked down to see that her and a couple other bombs were still ticking.
“This can't be real!” Chase panicked.
“Brain, we are so over!” Justin scolded his brain.
“This is not going to be good!” Ripper braced himself.
The view cut to some nondescript hillside where an explosion could be seen in the distance. The cast could all be heard complaining about the smell and coughing.
The camera panned down and to the left, showing Chris sitting casually by some film equipment, sipping a cup of coffee. "What?" he asked the camera, setting his cup down on the saucer in his hand. "Obviously we're not gonna wire each bomb exactly the same way," he explained to the camera in a put-upon tone. "That would be way too easy for our production crew! And no fun for me!" He leaned back in his chair and laughed.
A chipmunk was shown perched in a tree, looking down as the colorful stench of something below wafted up to it. It took a single sniff, then fell from its branch, bounced off the roof of the girls' trailer, and fell into a large pool of something red where the contestants were sitting amidst a fog of foul odor.
Chef appeared at the side of the pool, a gas mask on his face as he poured a large tomato-labeled can in. The shot pulled out, showing that all the contestants save Justin were in the pool.
"Well this absolutely blows," Ripper grumbled as Chef emptied his can and walked off-screen.
"I'd rather have gotten our suffering over with and ripped apart all the wires if we had known that they weren't all the same," MK added.
“At least the tomato soup is good for the skin,” Jasmine spoke up. “The Vitamin C in them boosts collagen and provides skin texture, firmness, and tone.”
Just then, Justin came up for air with his mirror. "Agh, with this hideous facial deformity, I'll need all the help I can get, sister."
"Glad you like it," Chef said as he came back and tossed a handful of bendy straws into the pool, "'cause it's also dinner." He chuckled darkly and walked away, and the castmates hesitantly picked up the straws as they floated by.
Topher stuck his tongue out in disgust, then forced a smile. "As disgusting as this is, we're all in this together."
"Hey Toph, what was with that goody-goody act earlier today?" Ripper shot at him.
"Yeah!" MK chimed in. "Were you trying to gain something from us or what?!"
"I just wanted to show you all that I wasn't a bad guy," Topher answered. "I did just join halfway in the game, and I knew that all of you would distrust me."
"You were eliminated first last season because you didn't contribute much to the team," Jasmine told him. “And you gave off a bad impression.”
“Yeah, but people can change,” Topher said.
The shot pulled back to show Chris approaching in a gas mask of his own. "Is everybody having fun yet?" he asked mischievously. "Chase and Topher, as the winners of the first and second challenges, you get the reward! An all-expense paid trip to..."
"Jamaica?" Topher asked excitedly. "London? China?"
"How about Hollywood?" Chase added with a smile of his own. “The number of stunts you can do there are one in a million.”
"Good guesses, but no," Chris answered with a smile. "It's an all-expense paid trip to...a local cheese factory!"
“Cheese factory?” Chase repeated in confusion.
"While on tour," Chris continued, "you'll get to sample all the cheeses of the world! From blue cheese, to green cheese, to head cheese, which isn't technically a cheese, but reeks just the same!"
“You gotta bring me back some gouda if you can," Anne Maria said, putting her hand on Topher's shoulder. "I love me some of that."
"I'd also like some fancy cheese too!" Ripper said as well.
"Fine," Topher said. "We'll get you all something."
"Hey Chris, how long do we have to remain in this pool until the stink wears off?" MK asked the host.
"Oh, I'd say another twelve hours should do," Chris told her as he walked away.
“Better make good use of our time,” Jasmine shrugged and sunk into the soup.
"The teams are no more," Chris told the camera after the scene flashed forward and he took off his gas mask. "Let's see how these stinkers do on their own next time on Total! Drama! Action!"
Just as the scene began to fade, the white cat he'd been stroking earlier attacked his face again.
(Roll the Credits)
(Bonus Clip)
The scene showed the limousine of losers, the scenery out the partially-open window indicating that it was still daytime. Topher was sitting next to it on the far left, and Chase was sitting on the far right, and neither were looking at each other.
This continued for several awkward seconds until Topher finally turned his head and asked "So what's up with your agility prowess?"
“Oh, I, uh, took a gymnastics class and learned some moves in order to prep myself up as a daredevil,” Chase replied awkwardly and fell silent for a few seconds. “What about you? What hobbies do you have?
“Um, I'm interested in photography and hair designing,” Topher answered. “I know how to make normal hair stylish and I'm one of the student managers of the yearbook club.”
Silence filled the limo for several more seconds. "You know, we should just stay silent for the rest of the trip," Chase said.
"Yeah. That's something we can agree on," Topher said as well.
Eva - 15th
Geoff - 15th
Izzy - RETURNED
Trent - 13th
Sky - 12th
Brick - 11th
Scott - 10th
Izzy - 9th
Millie - 8th
Boys: Chase, Justin, Ripper, Topher
Girls: Anne Maria, Jasmine, MK

Hi folks. Let me know if i should post this elsewhere but, I'm having a helluva time replacing the output jack on this old early 2000s spector legend 4 string.
It looks like just a basic 9v active emg hz preamp. There is a little board attached to the bass pot where two wires come from for the output jack but I can't seem to find a diagram that matches my situation exactly, and I'm not sure what to connect to on the barrel jack.. I tried two different ones, 1 stereo and one mono.. when I think i've soldered things correctly, I test and it's just dead, then I get a loud pop if i touch the base of the cable plugged into the jack.
I've got 4 pics in the link here below. I've labeled wires and terminals with numbers to try to help myself know what is what because I don't know what is the hot wire.
I would really appreciate some help. This is a solid bass and I miss playing it.. I've got a fresh battery in there so I've at least ruled that out.. I'm really at a loss.. Please let me know if you're familiar with these dang barrel jacks and/or the early oughts low end spector electronics..
Thanks!
https://imgur.com/a/N8JB67g

Our dogs have been using this dog food for years. One of my dogs has sensitivity to certain dog foods/flavors that causes diarrhea and ear infections, but we found that this food worked best. We had been buying it from Petco and then switched to Amazon recently. I thought that our most recent bag looked different (slightly larger and shorter pieces and lighter color) but the bag was labeled the same as what we ordered.
After a new bag was delivered, I opened it up to see if I was crazy or if it was what I thought it should look like, but it looked the same as the most recent bag. I thought I must just be misremembering the food appearance or something, so we kept using it.
My dog’s ear infections kept reoccurring and her stomach has been acting up, so I decided to order a bag from Chewy. It was just delivered and looks like how I remembered it looking. If I could add a pic you can see a very obvious difference. I’m going to complain to AMZ, but I won’t be ordering from them again. 🤪

For about a year, I've had this recurring image of a dark forest with tall, dark brown tree trunks. I first discovered the therian community through online content and found it relatable. The more I explored, the more I felt I might be a therian. I decided to find my theriotype through research, reflection, and meditation.
One night, I put on some music, sat down, and focused on the image of the forest. I was shocked when I envisioned myself walking through it and saw a pair of white paws instead of feet. I also saw a pair of cat-like ears with little hairs on top of my head. That night, I dreamed I was a cat walking through the same forest. This happened about two weeks ago. The next morning and throughout the day, I researched the forest, the paws, and the ears I saw. I was surprised to learn about the Norwegian Forest Cat, which looked exactly like my dream, and the Norwegian forest matched the forest in my vision. I didn't even know this cat breed existed. Additionally, I've always felt at home in trees since I was young.
Since then, I've had an increased urge to walk on all fours, make cat sounds, and wear a tail. When I put on a tail and cat ears, I felt very happy with my body. My question is, how do I know if I am experiencing this because I am a therian or if I am just imagining it to fit the "I'm a cat therian" idea? (I also think I felt a phantom tail and ears when I was meditating.) I have considered identifying as cat-hearted because I'm not sure if I identify as a Norwegian Forest Cat, and I feel like I don't "deserve" the therian label. I didn't act like a cat when I was a kid, but I do remember walking on all fours when I was little.

CONTEXT: I am a 21 year old male who lives in America and has 2 parents that are both from India.
START: I don't think I know anything about myself. Yet, other people always seem to bring up the fact that I am "really smart" or "observant". This can make me think of so many times where I was more aware than other people such as:

• At age 6 to 11: when my mom would cook (Maggi) noodles with peas and carrots, I would separate the veggies out from the noodles and eat each ingredient separately, not ever starting to eat the next ingredient until I finished the one I am eating. I never even drank water during the meal, it was only before or after. MY REFLECTION: I think I was being super aware of my tastebuds.
• Age 0 to 16: Sleeping was always super difficult for me because I can hear someone taking one step even if it was very far away from my room.
• Age 0 to 21: I would stare at someone doing a certain movement (if it is a video, I would replay it 10s of times) and move in that way repeatedly to learn how to *precisely* move in that way.
• I would get hooked on precise numbers by the age of 12 in order to have control over my gaming so that I have the ability to be good at the video game I was playing. I would measure how far my chair was from my desk, how far my chair was on the left and right of the desk, my wrist would always be on the exact same spot on the mousepad (marked with sharpie), my keyboard would be tilted in the exact same way, my laptop screen would be tilted up in the exact same way every time (I had a protractor to measure it), ect.

I could add a lot more examples, but I think you get my point. All-in-all, since birth, I was a very aware/observant person and I always tried to control the controllables. I think my mind/brain is aware and it applies it to all of my 5 senses when it needs (and/or wants) to.
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How did this awareness nerf me?:

1. I developed anorexia at age 11 and was diagnosed at age 12. As Masayoshi has said: "[All food] has stats on it" and I couldn't shake the fact that there is a chance that they could've lied (there is a leniency to how far off from the actual truth of their vitamins and calories that a company can label their food on the nutrition label). I also couldn't shake the fact that I never have FULL control. When I google the nutrition of an apple, I am met with the calories of a "small" apple (whatever that means). All-in-all there was never a precise number of calories, vitamins, weight of the food (I can't ask my parents for a food scale as a 12 year old with anorexia, they would probably have beat me and thought I was trying to get skinnier), etc. There was always human error involved and if that wasn't an issue, there would be some other issue that would screw me over. Therefore, I freaked out and became severely underweight, knowing I had no control in my life since food is a fundamental part of my health which is a fundamental part of my life. It took me 9 years but i recovered, with probable stunted growth.
2. I always went to bed at 9:30pm in high school and I shared a room with my brother; he was a typical high school boy that stayed up until 1am. He would be rude to me for going to bed early (because he talked like a lot of high school boys... be rude to anyone about anything). Also, any tiny movement he made in his bed, I could hear, so to drown him out, I would sleep a couple inches away from a box fan and have it blow straight into my ear. I now have tinnitus. I have tinnitus because (I was an uninformed kid, obviously, but also) my hearing was too good and my brother was an asshole for not leaving the room to allow me to sleep peacefully. I kept the habit of sleeping next to a fan for 3 years but that was because I had depression constantly wanted to drown out my thoughts. I wrote about it in number 4).

a) I have depression because of my knowledge of the lack of autonomy I have always had. Once I learned in psychology (age 17) that I technically have no 'original thoughts' and I just regurgitate everything I hear, I stayed in my bed for months and I couldn't move. I already innately knew this fact, but having it almost spoonfed to me really messed me up. A lot of psycholgoy facts messed me up at that age.
In order to try to get past the bedridden (due to depression) issue, I tried to think of solutions to have a purpose in life... BUT since I am super analytical, it has been hard for me to be religious. I thought I had no purpose and I have never had an attachment to my life so I didn't care if I died (not in a depressing way, more just in a neutral way).
By this whole point, I am trying to bring up the concept of: with every fact I learn, I just get more and more aware than I was before and I feel like other people think they are more aware than they actually are and that's why they are less miserable than me. I am also bringing up the fact that I have depression (diagnosed at age 19).
4) Since I am detail-oriented, I have to break things down really hard in order to understand something, but once I get it, it's hard to forget. Because of this genetic buff, I was very good at math and science. Unfortunately, it is a nerf, too. When I look at a person, I stare for a long time to look at each part of their face in order for my brain to "figure out what they look like". This detail-orientedness has made me susceptible to getting bullied. A lot of my mannerisms and behaviors are not following the social norm. I don't think normally, thus I don't act normally. Because of all the bullying, I have had debilitating social anxiety in the past and I have been super lonely for years (my heart physically feels like it is ripping). I asked my parents for a therapist when I was 17 but they said 'no'. As you know, I am 21 now but I bring up the fact that my parents said 'no' to therapy because I am now permanently nerfed for the rest of my life in some ways (like tinnitus) because I learned to be helpless. From age 17 to 21, I forgot I was even an adult; I forgot that I had the control and ability to get a therapist.
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I think my genetics for how my mind works is insanely good. I could/could've been ANYTHING that so many people dream to be such as a doctor, lawyer, engineer, athlete, etc. I would be good in so many different fields. I think that I am just smart and I am still extremely observant, even though I have so many illnesses/nerfs (social anxiety, depression, tinnitus, stunted growth).
BUT... all these issues were caused by other people. I didn't do this to myself. I have been nerfed so much, not because I am smart/very aware, but because other people bullied me for acting different from the social norm. They don't/didn't know that I don't act normal because of an objectively good trait that I have (intelligence).
How can I possibly live with myself knowing that other people ruined so much of my health and my life?
Is there anyone that can relate?
What do I even do in this situation? Create a goal and follow it while ignoring my tinnitus and all my other nerfs and just live my permanently nerfed life?

First thing's first: if someone else has posted something identical to this then great. I'm not out to step on any toes or steal any credit. What I'm about to harp on about is based on just a tiny bit of information I "learned" and the rest of it is what I have "discovered" during my time with the puzzle. My hope is that, at the very least, this will be an effective guide for anyone new to the puzzle; at the most, perhaps the foundation of an increasingly efficient understanding of how to solve it.
Part One: The "Curvy Copter" Bit
To even start with the Curvy Copter III it is imperative to understand the original Curvy Copter. I will NOT be going into detail about how to solve a Curvy Copter - it is more or less a "classic" twisty puzzle at this point and there are oodles of walkthroughs, tutorials, videos, and diagrams on the subject. That being said, it is not a particularly difficult puzzle and anyone who can learn to solve a 3x3x3 can certainly learn the Curvy Copter.
Now for the elephant in the room: jumbling. Yes, jumbling will affect how a Curvy Copter is solved. It not only adds an extra step but also leads to different situations during the solve. However, when you get down to the 30 pieces that separate the Curvy Copter from the Curvy Copter III, they DO NOT appear to be affected by jumbling. So whether or not the Curvy Copter portion of the puzzle is solved with or without jumbling, tackling the "III" part of the puzzle is the same.
Part Two: The "III" Bit
For anyone who might not be 100% clear on the matter, the difference between a Curvy Copter and a Curvy Copter III are the 5 small center pieces on each face. Each face contains a small square at the very center (the "center piece"), surrounded by a curved triangular-ish piece ("petals") on each of the four sides. When an edge is turned, it takes with it the centers of the two faces that join to create the edge, as well as the 2 petals parallel to the edge and the 1 of the 2 remaining petal closest to the turned edge.
These are the 30 pieces we'll be solving.
Part Three: Notation and Terminology
Edge-turners are still relatively new in the wide world of cubing, so without any official notation or terminology, I've made up some stuff and built upon what others have used and I think it works well enough.
Since we're only really dealing with 2 types of pieces, that's all I'm going to bother to name. The piece at the very center of each face is just the "center." The 4 around it art "petals." To avoid confusion with face and edge names, I've dubbed the petals north (N), east (E), west (W), and south (S). The N petal is the one that "points" to the U face on faces adjacent to U (L, R, F, and B). On the U face, the N petal points towards B, and on the D face, the N petal point towards F. It follows an M' slice. To avoid any further ambiguity, W will always be to the left of N, E will be tot he right of N, and S will be directly across from N.
With that in mind, I typically define a petal by its face and then position, such as "FN" or "DE" etc.
And since we won't be jumping around faces all that much, I'm simply defining edge turns as L, R, U, or D relative to whatever face is being manipulated. There really is no need for the all the "UF, FL, DB etc." kind of labeling because for any given sequence we're usually concentrating a single face.
In an attempt to cut down on wordiness, I've written out some of this stuff like "LW + U." This means that the LW is on current F face, and therefore the U edge is the edge shared by the U and L faces. In other words, the frame of reference will always be that of the named petal on the F face.
Part Four: Placing the Centers
This part is super easy - trivial almost. The centers work in cycles of 3 faces. It's easiest to think of them as being in a line. As an example, you'll take note of what needs to be on F. You can pull that over from L or R. Then you tuck that away on the other side (if you did an L now do an R, vice versa). Then reverse the moves. It'll look like any simple commutator - L R L R (no "primes" or inverses because all turns are 180°)
.If you end up in a position where you can't do a clean 3-cycle because the unsolved faces don't form a line, just pick a center to solve. It'll probably unsolve another center, but that's not a big deal. Within a couple of tries you should be able to line up 3 unsolved centers.
Part Five: Strategy and Tactics
From here on out we're going to use a single commutator (and its inverse...and its mirror...and its inverse mirror) to cycle 3 petals at a time until we finish the puzzle. We're gonna cycle the US, FN, and LW (or RE) petals. We'll be using the U face as our frame of reference here:
CW: US to FN to LW = (L R L R) (B F B) (R L R L) (B F B)
CCW: LW to FN to US = (B F B) (L R L R) (B F B) (R L R L)
CCW: US to FN to RE = (R L R L) (B F B) (L R L R) (B F B)
CW: RE to FN to US = (B F B) (R L R L) (B F B) (L R L R)
Your hands will get use to this pretty quickly, and once you know one of them, it's pretty easy to get the rest; that is to say try to remember this as 4 versions of 1 sequence and not necessarily 4 discrete sequences.
The beauty here is that these 3 and only these 3 pieces are affected. This means that we can literally manipulate the rest of the puzzle in whatever way we need to in order to get those petals into a position to be cycled. Obviously some setup moves will be necessary to solve the puzzle but the more I played with it, the more I got interested in increasingly elaborate setups.
I'm not so good at the math with these things and I'm not 100% sure what effect pieces that might already be solved will have, but reason would lead me to believe that 24 pieces ought to be solvable within 8 3-cycles. I also reason that 1 already solved piece would "allow" for one 2-cycle, however, 3 solved pieces would mean we only have 21 to solve, bringing us down to 7 3-cycles assuming that the 3 solved pieces could be manipulated into a 3-cycle themselves.
Part Six: Perfecting the Setup
The more I solved it the more I noticed that I could very easily move a piece from one position to another, or that maybe it was very difficult to deal with pieces in a certain spot, or even that I could reposition the puzzle in my hand to make some things easier.
My first endeavor involved mapping out the trajectory of each and every piece. This got a little messy because each petal can go 1 of 3 directions each turn and for specifics I won't get into it just wasn't a very effective method at figuring out what I wanted.
After a bit of break from the puzzle, I finally figured out what I needed to do: I needed to figure out the shortest path from any given to position to one of the given 3 positions involved in the 3-cycle. I feel like it's pretty easy to get the US and FN petals lined up, so my first focus was how to move a piece from anywhere else into the LW or RE slots.
What we're talking about from here on our are setup moves, or guess "conjugates" might be the more technical term. We'll use these setup moves to get the 3 petals where we want them, perform the appropriate commutator, and then undo the setup move. The setup moves can be as complicated as you can tolerate, just so long as you remember exactly how to undo them.
I plan to explore accounting for the US an FN spots at some point, but for now, I've simply got 2 easy ways to turn a FN / LW (or RE) or US / LW (or RE) condition into the US / FN state.
From FN / LW (or RE): With the LW or RE face in front, turn the U edge. This will move either LW or RE to a US position, giving you a US / FN state.
From US / LW (or RE): With US in front, turn the D edge. This moves US to FN. With LW (or RE) in front, turn the U edge. This puts LW (or RE) into US position. (Just like the previous case.)
The Meat and Potatoes
I've divided these moves into "levels" base on how many moves it takes to get the piece into the LW or RE position. Important: "The Level 3 Fix" - With Level 3 and 4 pieces, there is a move where either an R turn of the L face or L turn of the R face will place the petal on F. This will happen any time we transition a Level 3 piece to a Level 2 position. Once you've finished placing this piece, you must undo either the L or R turn because the first time it bumps out your FN piece. So when you are dealing with Level 3 or 4 piece it'll go something like this: setup move, fix the FN piece, commutator, undo the "fix," undo setup move.
One more term I want to define is the "flip." It's just a cube rotation that save us a move or two. It can be thought of as either (x', z2) or (x, y2). Either will work; the point is that what was F is now U, and what was U is now F. What this does is put a piece that was in the LS position in RE, and likewise, a piece that was in RS now appears to be in LW.
The idea here is to find your piece and follow it all the way to Level 0. For the sake of brevity, I don't have the entire sequences listed. Instead, Level 4 solutions will lead you to Level 3, those solutions will go to Level 2 etc.
Level 4:

• BS + R (or L) = LN (or RN)
• DS + L (or R) = LE (or RW)

Level 3:

• LN + R = FS
• RN + L = FS
• LE + R = FW
• RW + L = FE

Level 2:

• FS + D = DN
• FW + D = DE
• FE + D = DW
• UN + U = BN
• UE + U = BE
• UW + U = BW

Level 1:

• DN + L = LW
• DN + R = RE
• DE + R = RS
• DW + L = LS
• BN + R (or L) = LS (or RS)
• BE + R = LW
• BW + L = RE

Level 0:

• LW = Destination!
• RE = Destination!
• LS = Flip = Destination!
• RS = Flip - Destination!

Obviously the US and FN positions aren't listed because they are already where they need to be!
This method won't quite optimize the solve to 8 sequences or less, but I think it's a good start.
Part Seven: Shortcomings and Future Improvements
Earlier I mentioned that for every petal already solved, we could use one of our 8 cycles to do 2-cycle, however, when it becomes 3 solved petals, we need to consider that to be one use of the cycle provided there is a way to cycle the 3 - and so on for every multiple of 3. Oddly enough, I have run into situations where there are 6 solved petals that could easily be seen as two 3-cycles. However, with what was left on the puzzle, there was absolutely no way to perform a 3-cycle that would solve 3 petals. That clearly puts a kink in my logic regarding the effect of solved pieces on the optimal solution.
The stuff I've listed above is effective for probably 90% of what you'll run into, but there are some tricky situations. Most of these involve having to shuffle 2 pieces around at once as well as situations similar to the "Level 3 Fix," I'd like to outline some of these aberrant cases and go over how to solve them at some point.
Finally - and this will probably need to come from a more clever brain than mine - it would be awesome to discover 1 or maybe 2 alternate commutators to help reach those Level 3 and Level 4 pieces and maybe even do away with the "Level 3 Fix" altogether.
Conclusion
Alright, I think I've said about all I can on the subject for the time being. Please feel free to tack on any tips, tricks, additions, suggestions, corrections, whatever! And thank you for your time and interest!

I have a bunch of writing ideas but I lack depth and making the story long Enough for me to feel satisfied. Ideally I hope one of my ideas gets turned into a manga.
here are some of my ideas
title description
god speed* main character was the worlds number one racer Cars, motobikes you name it, one day he is asked to help save a city from a dangerous threat, an alien. He was later blown up alongside the alien which he had lured to the designated area. Traumatised and betrayed and infected with alien blood he fell from racing and took up part time as a stuntman. Things changed when he was challenged to a race by a jealous man. He discovers the vehicle that man raced in could transform and it even had weapons Which begun to fire at him. He was rescued by another pilot of similar function. He was brought in and sworn to secrecy and he discovers that they fight aliens similar to the one he had raced in the past. They use these special vehicles to race on moving alien hives filled with aliens, traps, hazards and changing floors to reach the top and destroy the hive core.
galaxy storm* (I started writing this one but stopped due to being unmotivated, and making the alien enemies diffcult to imagine, I’m hoping to make it either similar to a warhammer universe or halo universe.) Man finds himself and earth removed from dimension by accident, the culprit sends man to a similar dimension where he has to survive the harsh wilderness. He reaches civilisation only to discover it is at war and the aliens are at their doorstep. Due to contempt and jealousy he does not get the needed treatment from the base and slowly deteriorates in health While the enemy marches closer. The base commander is some slack second generation rich kid who isn’t even on base, leaving the army just as slack and ill prepared. Mc rescues the jailed disciplinary officers and gets to be treated, as he is getting treated the enemy attack and it’s aliens. (The aliens I call them cyclomorphs as they can manipulate their shape to an extent but I’m not sure how I describe them. my idea was a thin neck and small head attacked to a collar which they can retract into to protect their heads. Think of a sting ray. With the tail being the neck. They can have their arms change into various weapons with stronger units possessing stronger weapon forms and extra appendages that can turn into melee weapons. Not sure how to go with their vehicles.) anyways Mc gets healed and. Helps assist with the defense in the losing ear turning the war around, ( not too good at that part) the Mc has extremely good vision and an experimental emergency life saving measure where he turns into a highly trained special forces soldier. The battle was barely won but the enemy reinforcements arrives thankfully humanities reinforcements arrive at the Knick of time. the Civilians and Mc are moved to the main city which is the next story arc. Arc 2 would be labelled as a traitor because one of the rich daughters who wasn’t spoilt and was kind fell in love with the Mc, the family didn’t like that and forged documents and made him into a traitor. Instead of being executed he is sent to death camp where all prisoners who receive death sentences go, all prisoners are subjected to 5? Deadly trials that if they come back alive will be pardoned and sent to be a member of the army under different name. Mc passes and helps two others pass as well a semi conscious clone and an engineer.
arc 3 would be Mc rises through ranks by killing enemies earning him Valor points where it is spent on getting weapons better armour, rank and better training, and I ven earning his own base and recruiting soldiers. ( I have trouble trying to make the point system work, if anyones plsyed thresh wars that’s what inspired my idea)
ground wars\* earth invaded and a rogue ai also waged war on humanity, battling on two fronts and skies are off limits. now the only way to travel is by powerful armoured weaponised transports (I don’t know what to call it, ground trains? lol) the Mc has a vision of the aliens burrowing underneath his city and decides to flee with the family after persuasion. Using a friendly uncles truck they flee just in time. Mc goes to learn engineering and then joins a motly crew with a ground train hired to help carry minerals from a nearby mine. Aliens attack and while repairing the ground train Mc arm is lopped off. Although the crew and him escapes he doesn’t get any injury pay and kicked off the team. Mc gets a robotic arm he built himself and dreams of one day owning his own ground train the best and extremely powerful one with amazing weapons. However due to his incident no one would hire him. a small crew does hire him out of pity and his journey starts from the when he inherits the old ground train because the leader is getting old.
mech wars* inspired by the game mech quest. Mc is in school aiming to be a mech pilot, more specifically a soul pilot. This is where a mech is created from resonance between the soul of a pilot and a special crystal. When it was his turn to try to summon one a raid happened and he was captured As well as the rest of the class by rebels. The teacher and other adults killed, he discovers the country he lived in was brainwashing all mech pilots especially soul pilots into unquestioning loyalty. Given the choice between fighting with the rebels or becoming a civilian he chooses to continue as a pilot under the rebels command. He finally summons his mech which cause the base to groan from the weight of his mech. All mechs start off as an embryo and I’d fed metals formed by the bones of giant alien creatures known as blank( I don't know what to call them) buried in the ground and dug out after some time the quality depends on the length of time buried and strength of the alien creature the Mc works hard to earn enough to feed his embryo which required higher than normal materials. The Mc mech is (*spoiler a powerful dragon*) but maintains a weaker human form until Mc is strong enough. Once Mc embryo is transformed into a mech he needs to hunt creatures to earn credits to equip better weapons and armour for his mech. The mech has a super secret ability called decimate if you’ve played mech quest you will know what it entails. 😉
My body for the land toughest extremely scarred warrior fights an undead uprising with a hidden secret. He will make allies and raise a powerful army. Part 2 is where he dies and reanimated as a skeleton. He gets powers of darkness and makes a dungeon full of various monsters to fight back humanity who has taken control. Part 3 demons attack vs army of the dead and monsters.
tri-world crossing Three worlds with different powers: religion, science and magic. various portals Located in various spots in each world lead to a huge world called the triad. Where all three inhabitants of each world meet and co exist. Mc is (big spoiler) the first dark lord of magic world and spend his days sleeepjng but gets dragged into various conflicts when he goes earn money as part time adventurer and mercenary. (Inspired by final fantasy setting.)

I ingest information about the pesticide my husband bought. The label says its safe for children and dogs. I Google and find It can be toxic for babies and dogs It has been toxic When ingested or touched before it dries. Safe after drying. I Google and find It's a synthetic chrysanthemums Fact of the day: Chrysanthemum kill bugs. Real and synthentics are used in pesticides.
Chrysanthemums make me think of funerals and homecoming Funerals and homecoming feel like synthetic events.
I Google and find this synthetic chrysanthemum pesticide is in flea preventatives used on dogs. I Google and find an experiment where the pesticide was ingested by dogs in order to discover that it is safe for dogs. Ingested by anethesized beagle dogs. I Google and find 60,000 beagles are bred for animal testing each year. I saw some of them on the news once: frightened eyes and floppy ears, feet touching grass for the first time. Nervous and ruined.
Googling has me conflicted. Animal tested cosmetics - never. My vanity is not worth a animal's suffering. Curing diseases - yes. I don't like it but I would inject them myself If it keeps my granddaughter out of a wheelchair.
What about this synthetic chrysanthemum my husband brought home? Shall I plant real chrysanthemums instead? I refuse to host an open house for ants and roaches. But I'm not sure I can do this. Will we argue over pesticides tomorrow? I wish I hadn't Googled. I wish I didn't feel compelled to know.