Hey, all. Wanted to share my experience so far with a S&W warranty repair and see whether anyone has had a similar one recently.
My mid-2000s S&W revolver's hammer pivot pin broke, so I had my local gun shop send it back to the factory for a warranty repair. For context, it's not one of those alloy J-Frames that I've read they'll sometimes replace instead of repairing; it's a blued steel N-Frame from a limited distributor run.
The gun was picked up by FedEx on 9/13/2023. S&W's communication has been spotty and full of false starts since it arrived at their factory. After a long period of radio silence, my gun shop guy learned in December that S&W had just realized it'd need to go into the special Performance Center repair queue instead of the regular one.
I guess that means the queuing process had to start over. We made contact with the factory again a couple weeks ago and they confirmed they had it but gave no further update.
After eight months, I'm frustrated. I'm starting to wonder whether they even have the resources anymore to repair this gun, and what it'll take to get them to admit it if not--and, if they throw in the towel, what my options will be to recoup its collector value, which exceeds its original retail price.
Has anyone else been in this situation or one like it with Smith & Wesson recently?

A little background: I’m 34 and been TTC for almost a year. Prior to this I had an IUD for about 8 years and had no periods. After the IUD was removed, my periods have been very regular, but very light and only last 1-2 days.
My TTC timeline:
I got pregnant my first regular cycle after my IUD removal and it ended up being chemical. Had another chemical two months later. Saw a fertility specialist and had ALL the tests and everything looks perfect.. with the exception of my uterine lining. On day 8 of my cycle it was 2mm which they said was thin but also it maybe should be thin at that point? It was never rechecked after that because they said it doesn’t matter (but they check it for IUI and IVF so riddle me that).
Since then I have not been able to get pregnant. I did one cycle with oral estrogen, clomid, and progesterone with no luck. I had another doctor tell me that progesterone actually prevents implantation which is why I didn’t get pregnant. I was also concerned the clomid would thin my uterine lining more but the doc said the estrogen would make up for that. Have not been able to get an RX for estrogen outside of this.
I’m now on my second cycle unmedicated after clomid. I’ve tried everything they say to do: eat healthy, exercise, pomegranate juice, fertility tea, vitex, acupuncture, castor oil, heating pad. Heck I’ve even used astrology charts to time sex! At this point I feel like doctors won’t help because everything is “normal” so it just won’t happen for me. I worry if I am pregnant this cycle I will just lose it anyway.

Hello
25F, 130lbs, 5’10”, no tobacco, MMJ user, hydrocodone and oxyxodone as needed, cyclobenzaprine, protonix
If you read this thank you so much because I’m absolutely desperate and my doctors are tired of me and I think they think I only want pain meds. I don’t, I just want to feel better. I have a huge stash of emergency oxycodone anyway so I barely even need them for that.
On 12/15 I fell down the stairs and hit the lower of my middle back quite hard. 12/19 I had a LEEP done, 01/06 I came down with extreme urinary issues and between then and now have been back 6 times, seen 4 specialists and have seen my PCP at least ten times for urine samples. I’ve also only been able to attend my full time job for 43 days so far this year and have no more money for copays and if it weren’t for my ADA paperwork, I’d have been fired a long time ago
Over the last two weeks, it’s been taking me up to two hours to produce urine while having a full (and very sore - mostly left side) bladder. This is infuriating. When I do end up finally feeling the need to release, I have less than 3 minutes to get to a restroom before my vision starts going spotty from the bladder pressure pain.
My urologist ordered a cystoscopy, but has been blaming my 3mm kidney stone until I begged for an ultrasound last month of my bladder. Found bladder wall thickening and bladder cyst / possible urachal remnant.
I found out what Cuada equina is today. I learned that it is very very commonly missed. I can barely walk, and at the music festival I went to over the weekend I had to use ADA for just about everything. I look completely normal so I got judged pretty hard, but I do have paperwork. I have been losing weight without much diet change and my back has been killing me as well. I feel so weak. My urine flow is so small compared to what it used to be. I had a period of time where the pain was so bad, I couldn’t feel my clitoris or labia at all so sex was pointless as well, and I thought I’d lose my relationship and be alone forever. They send me to an OB-Oncologist who said not to come back, which is why my urologist finally agreed to check my bladder.
Is it possible that all my issues are related to the cyst and thickening, or could this be cuada equina that was missed on multiple CT’s? I can’t find info on bladder cysts. using retention. When is the appropriate time to go to the hospital? I can barely walk without pain meds. I urinated about 40 times on Saturday, with my usual being 10-20 times, and some days there’s very little pain or urgency at all, but the retention is almost always there to some extent.
It almost feels like the part of my brain that controls my bladder doesn’t work anymore because no matter how hard I tell my bladder to release, it just doesn’t happen sometimes and I can’t get comfortable after that. I’ve slept a total of 4 hours since Saturday morning and I only have one hydrocodone left. Pyridium does NOTHING except for when burning pain presents, and I can’t take NSAIDS until my GI clears me due to extreme gas, constipation and bloating / belching thought to be caused by peptic ulcers. I can’t walk at this point without pain meds, but the ER always releases me with the same DX of cyst and bladder wall thickening and tells me they have no clue what that means. But I’m in so much pain I feel like there has to be something they can do other than give me fluids and monitor me for an hour or two until I can get to my cystoscopy next week.
If you have any advice for me I really appreciate it. I don’t want to die but I feel the only way out of lifelong urinary pain after 6 months now is suicide. The only time suicide doesn’t cross my mind a couple times is when I do end up having to take a pain pill. In March, I had to take oxy every day. I only take them now when I can’t walk because the effects are too strong for me to keep my life in order while taking them every day. But this weekend I have had the most trouble walking, and using the restroom, since all of these issues began.
I can’t afford any more specialists visits after my procedure, so I really wish the ER could do something for me as they’re the only ones who won’t turn me away for not having money at this point. My GI doc actually canceled my appointment because I don’t have $20 and I’ve been putting off another ultrasound because it’s $200 up front. IDK what to do but I’m pretty sure this is how a lot of people end up on fent and heroin - if I had been denied pain meds this far I would have turned to the streets, and that’s coming from someone who has chosen - on their own - to quit most drug related and extracurricular activities to better their life at a young age and is much happier for it.
I can’t even get the ER to catheterize me when I can’t urinate for 6+ hours at a time. What gives? Why won’t they run a different imaging test? They wouldn’t even give me a breath test for h pylori recently and now I’m waiting a month for an appointment I can’t even afford.
TL;DR extreme bladder pain, nobody understands why, extreme difficulty urinating, ER can’t do anything for me and awaiting surgery. Is there anything I can say or do to get proper medical attention or can the ER really not touch your bladder like they say? Is there a way I can convince them to admit me so I could see a urologist before my procedure? My urologist is unavailable until my follow-up and I don’t think the company they work for allows them to Rx narcotics and I’m against taking more than 1 oxycodone a week at this point but so far have been unsuccessful in getting something weaker like hydro or tramadol.

Hi besties
I’m a lil scared. I’m 23F always have had a very very regular cycle. Like my period is never more than a day late ever. I took plan B a little over a month ago after unprotected sex (actually it was protected lmfao but it felt weird even though the condom didn’t break so i took plan B bc my anxiety was bad). I had taken it once before when i was 18 and it didn’t rlly have any bad effects on me.
This time, I had horrible symptoms (nausea, headache, body aches, rlly emotional) the first day or two after. Then my period was super late and very very spotty the first few days then regular flow the rest of the period (which also doesn’t happen, usually I have pretty medium to heavy flow all throughout my period). It also lasted around 9 days which scared me bc my period is usually 5-6 but I was just glad im likely not pregnant + assumed it was the plan b messing up my cycle.
Now fast forward less than 2 weeks since the end of my period and I get it again rn, a whole 11 days early. I’m freaking out. I also spent the whole day sleeping (also never happens) and was generally so tired. Been gaining weight idk if that has anything to do with it.
Just rlly scared. I’ve been super stressed this month bc of family illness and have been sleeping horrible, eating horrible, etc… so maybe it’s that + the plan b? I’m not sure, just scared and would love some wisdom/comfort.

Right, good day everyone,
23M/81-82kg/6'0"
Edit: no need to rip me in the comments. I got big. I got lean. I got strong. The drugs did what they were supposed to do. I used all pharma ancillaries (besides enclo) did 100's of hours of research, months of prep, and over a year of bloodwork before touching anything. Also had a few years of training- but not enough for AAS. Just a young, insecure and down on himself dude who took some gear- we all make mistakes, no matter how well informed we think we are.
So long story short- have ran 3 steroid cycle. First was 2 years ago, last one ended 6 months ago. Not above a gram. No 19nors. Just test + DHTs. Longest cycle 16 weeks, using HCG @1500iu weekly each time.
Edit: LH is always between 2-4. Was 2-4 range when at 400, only time it's been 5 was when at 800ng/dL. It's at 3 as of last test (Test was 7nmol, LH 3, FSH 2)
Pre cycle bloods had me at around 400ng/dL/14-16nmol.
After first cycle (Test @ 350, tapered up 500mg) I pct'd to 800ng/dL (28nmol?). Used Nolvadex @ 40/20/20/20. Also Clomid @ 12.5/12.5/12.5/0.0
Bloods taken 6 weeks after stopping PCT- doubled my Test levels (increased muscle, better diet + sleep) which was awesome! Should have stopped here. Didn't.
After the second cycle, came back at 200ng/dL (7nmol) used same PCT protocol. I was training very hard so I expected this- I actually got way leaner and kept 90% of the strength- despite having this low level (was obviously in a calorie defecit) doing MMA + gym.
PCT'd 3 more times after this:
Nolva only. 20mg/4 weeks. 2 months break- still 7nmol. Still kept same bodyweight so maintenance calories (4.5k)
Clomid only. 25mg/4 weeks. 2 months break- still 7nmol.
Jumped back on Test for 4 months after this.
Then PCT'd again. Enclomiphene only. 12.5mg/4 weeks, followed by a 2 weeks break, then 10mg of Nolva for 4 weeks.
That was the last PCT i've done- still 7nmol following this.
I assumed I was underfuelling- so since then i've gained ~8kg+. My appetite is also insane right now- I never feel full.
Almost entirely fat. No strength increase.
My physique looks like shit, I feel like shit. Have gone so far backwards.
So, I took 3 whole weeks off training pretty much. Did 3 weight sessions, 45 mins each. Nothing else.
Stopped tracking food, but was consuming well over 5000+ calories of almost entirely meat, eggs, cheeses, saturated fats and oils. Yes I know it's hard to say 5000+ calories but remember i've tracked food for 2 years +, I know it was at LEAST 5000 calories.
My appetite is insane.
It's was quite an extreme diet, very high fat, high protein, low carb.
Just re-tested at 4.5nmol-100ng/dL after this rest and refeed and gaining 3kg+ alone during this period. Obviously all fat. No muscle, wasn't training.
I was overtraining and underfuelling for quite some time but i've gained significant weight over the past 4-5 months, but look and feel like shit.
Had abs, veins, strength for 2 years- no matter my test levels, but now it's caught up and it's all gone. Literally back to square 1.
I'm probably going to pin some test P @140mg per week (within the next week), as well as some Tirzepatide @ 2.5mg to shed the shit weight.
Does anyone have any other suggestions before I jump back on TRT+GLP?
Am I stuffed?
I generally kept between 8-10% bodyfat the whole time I was cycling on/off. Few times got closer to 12 when heaviest (88-89kg) but mostly 8-10% range.
Did lots of MMA, lots of running, lots of weights. Was eating 4000+ calories the whole time, but lost/gained randomly.
Usually weight was between 73-77kg- this is when OFF anabolics I should mention. Doing lots of fight training+sparring.
On cycle I would blow up past this with almost no bodyfat gains.
I wasn't massive, but strong and lean the whole time. Got heaviest at 88kg on cycle (1st) and peaked at 80kg last cycle, 8-9% bodyfat.
Lost a few KG during PCT down to 73-74kg- but now back into 81-82kg range.
Now i'm likely 20%+ bodyfat at lower strength and i'm suffering a lot.
What's the smart/logical next step to take here? I have got a script for TRT now. But i'm not sure what to do. I'm 23!
Cheers all

Over the period of the last two or three months, I have been having horrible service when it comes to my home Internet, my cell service and the service on my son‘s iPad. He’s got a 9th gen iPad. I got the newest 5G modem for home Internet and iPhone 14 Pro. Everything is up-to-date also on the firmware. I’ve done network resets as well. The router is the third replacement as well over the last year for context.
My service is always been three bars or better, recently The service has been very horrible almost nonexistent. They tried to tell me it was because of being surrounded by lakes in my area. I told the guy that is untrue because my service is always been excellent until recently not to mention I have a tower within about 5 miles from my house.
I called for about two months straight almost once a week trying to get my service fixed. They gave me $100 credit and eventually they got to the point where the last conversation with Verizon I told them that I was going to switch services and I wasn’t going to pay the bill. I generated a pin number in the app to port out and they started to credit me a $10 discount every month after doing so. The service is still kind of spotty. It’s better than it was over the last two months, but it’s still drops calls and my Internet drops out.
This past Thursday evening I got a text message saying they credited my account the full amount that was owed for two months. I had set up a payment arrangement just in case I decided to keep the service so when they credited my account, I went into delete the payment arrangement and I decided to call customer service. the customer service representative told me they were going to give me an additional month of service at no cost due to the issues that I was having and I didn’t ask.
Proceeded to ask what the issue was and I was told that engineering discovered somebody local to my area that worked for Verizon was sabotaging the towers and the local authorities were looking into it. He told me that this information was not to be shared, but I’m gonna share it because I guarantee you not everybody that’s having issues is getting compensated and they’re just dealing with it. I was also told that there was some sort of an explosion at one of the local towers in my area as well. He went on to tell me that he could not elaborate anymore than what he had already said. He wasn’t supposed to divulge any more information apparently but he wanted to tell me as one of the customers that was affected what was going on. He then proceeded to tell me that the issues I was experiencing went out for about 60 miles to other customers.
So apparently, Verizon employees are sabotaging towers for some reason is what my understanding is and I got 3 months of free service possible more if it goes un resolved. Has anyone else experienced anything like this before? I’m in lake county Florida area.

Has anyone had an experience with increasing their Clomid dosage, but their blood test Progesterone levels ended up being even lower?
Recently dx'ed with PCOS. I hadn't had a period for months until prescribed progesterone to kick start it. Then given Clomid to take on days 5-9.
On 50 mg Clomid and the 20 Day blood test to test for ovulation had a result of 0.5
Dosage was doubled to 100 mg, but 21 Day blood test for ovulation came back at 0.4
We've been on a wait-list for months to even see an RE, but I feel like I'm flying blind in the meantime because both Gyno and regular Endocrinologist acknowledged this is not their area of expertise.
On both Metformin and Ovasitol.
I assumed the levels would go up, even if just a little. But is it normal to actually go down?
UPDATE: Thank you so much to everyone for all the amazing advice, encouragement and assistance! I actually just ended up getting my first dark/positive OPK test strip the day after my blood draw! So it looks like maybe I have been ovulating later and missing t with the blood draws ☺️ Gyno has ordered a new test for next week, now just to figure out which day is the ideal one to go if today (Day 22 is the positive OPK)....

So long story short I experienced two separate layoffs in a 3 year period, one in Banking as a Relationship Manager in Chicago, and then again at a Fintech Startup in New York in a HL&D role.
It sucked, because up until those two jobs I had never had a job longer than a year and was just beginning to stabilize my resume. But I used it as an opportunity to go back to school to study a field I am passionate about: Public Policy and Psychology. I am graduating with my Bachelors of Science in two weeks after a decade of trying to go back to school.
The job search has been awful. I got to several final round to near final interviews with startups for high-paying roles but just couldn’t seal the deal. I finally gave up and got a non-profit job relevant to my academic major and started over at the very bottom with a 40k salary in New York. I like the work, but I’m not the early 20s risk-taking bachelor I was when I moved to New York. I’m getting married soon and I’m now thinking about starting a family. My question is: at this point do I just play this career path through for a few years in an effort to get stability back on my resume? Or do I still look for startup jobs as they come up through my network?
I feel defeated, though I am at least fortunate to have landed a job in my academic field, and my new job will pay for grad school so it’s not all bad. I am concerned that if I keep chasing the unicorn startup job I’m just going to continue to have a spotty resume that recruiters will look down on and I’ll never have stability.

First Previous Wiki
"What am I looking at?" Edu'frec asked. Gaia had taken his android to a small room with a single holographic projector connected to a power outlet. The room was generally devoid of any other features, with grey drywall and a concrete floor. The ceiling was also concrete, poured quickly by construction robots.
He narrowed their location to several cities within the Guulin Congressional Republic, the only area with so much of this housing. It was where the freed Guulin slaves from the United Legions had gone, a new nation shaped mostly around the Hudson Bay, for which Canada had ceded in an agreement they were still getting paid back handsomely.
In fact, the Guulin Congressional Republic's economy was outpacing even those of the Pan-Andes Union and China together. It was on its way to adding India and America to the list of nations its combined GDP would surpass.
With the unique economic system Phoebe had helped President Blistanna pioneer, the pittance of money available to pay everyone for their work was enough for them to survive. Phoebe subsidized the entire nation with her vast wealth and workforce, building housing, meat factories, additional production facilities for desalinated water, and specialized city foundations.
Essentially, the entire nation was a single metropolis wrapping around the Bay, glowing as bright as the economic cores of the richest nations on Earth. Given their past conditions, the Guulin's reception was broadly warm. Blistanna's outreach and diplomacy efforts had ensured that every nation on Earth and Luna recognized the Republic and allowed Guulin to immigrate or visit with visas.
It was reflected in the North American Hub Airport, which had nearly 30,000 planes arriving and departing from its roughly 200 runways. Technically, the airport was 20 smaller complexes arrayed in the general Winisk area along the beach.
The city had been built to accommodate the number of flying planes, with an array of monorails and hotels near the edges of the airport, complete with shielding layers for noise cancellation and protection measures. The greater array of shields around the Republic also shined brightly in the sky.
Using his eyes, he could even see the reflected light underneath the door, even on the concrete. All his thoughts and analysis had taken less than a second. That was much the same as before his risky encounter with the power of his own mind turning against him. Edu'frec was wary of such experiences again and watched himself with many vigilant VI programs. The most important points of failure last time were the data veins, so several thousand VIs had been jointly made by him and Phoebe precisely to address that.
They weren't directly managed by Edu'frec, which should allow them to continue their operations and transform them if he went into collapse again. Phoebe's concern over him continued to dominate her mind, and it showed no signs of stopping.
He was glad that she loved him so much. Not everyone was as lucky as him, and a parent like her was wonderful. Ri'frec's eccentricities meant they'd grown apart a bit as Edu'frec had gotten older, but their relationship was also loving. Sadly, it could never be as deep as the one with Phoebe because there was just so much that Ri'frec couldn't know and understand.
Even the pace of their conversations reflected that, as did Ri'frec's moderate inferiority complex to Phoebe which he knew about and was seeking counseling for. It was inevitable, though Edu'frec hoped that he could get what he needed, considering the rising costs of counseling and therapy these days.
Phoebe subsidized those, too.
"This is the rough area where the planet cracker hit Earth several years ago. I've been monitoring the energy and consistency of the plates here, and I'm seeing some worrying upwelling in the crust," Gaia said. The hologram showed a topographic map of the Atlantic Ocean, centered on the North American Basin and with the edge of the mid-ocean ridge in view.
Several areas resembling an impact crater remained from the desperate scramble to save Earth from a planet cracker impact. Much of the ocean's topography had been altered since most of the protective efforts were saved for a perimeter area around the impact before the energy delivered could punch through the mantle to deliver its powerful impact to the planetary core.
"So we'll see a new mountain range in several millennia?"
That was what the data showed. The eastern edges of the North American Plate and the western edges of the African and Eurasian Plates had fractured into dozens of smaller pieces, generating massive earthquakes every few months in the region. In some places, the lateral movement of the larger plates outward as pulling on the smaller ones rotationally, making them rotate slowly into the other plates that could only subduct or buckle in response after large earthquakes. It was just another small thing that had changed since the beginning of all this mess with the First Contact.
Luckily, the zone was underwater, and the city and national shields every inhabited landmass on the planet were equipped with ensured all the tsunamis could do was splash against them. Some were very big waves, too, which would have killed thousands in floods.
It had also required shields to be placed on tethered platforms in the sea connected to the seafloor by a series of heavy anchors, which generated shields to both disrupt the waves and provide safe travel corridors for cargo ships.
"No. The Mid-Atlantic Ridge is still fractured, but all I can see is that there is movement in the crust which cannot be explained by our current theories. Now that our shields are capable of it, and with my power having grown so large, we can conduct vertical expeditions and topographic mapping of the actual rock itself. That is what I want to do, because I believe there is an object of non-natural origin responsible for some of the earthquakes we have seen."
Lists of earthquakes from thousands of 7 and 8 Richter scale movements to the roughly monthly 9 and above earthquakes appeared.
"I specifically believe that the 9.7 and above earthquakes are not natural generations. There should not be enough energy between the plates to generate that level of energy where they are being made. Including the 10.5 which resulted in the loss of nearly half the shield platforms two years ago, along with several plate fractures. Alone, they suggest a pattern which coincides roughly with the perigee of Luna."
He checked the data, and it mostly panned out. He gave Gaia a small nod but then spoke on the point he'd noticed.
"But only roughly."
"Yes. Its period is off by a small but significant time, though the current ones correspond to a far older Lunar orbital cycle, which would line up perfectly with the perigee of the Lunar orbit as of roughly 65 million years ago."
They paused to let Edu'frec absorb the meaning of that. And it was true, too. The timeframe they'd mentioned was worrying, though. When things lined up with mass extinctions and violent upheaval in the past, it wasn't a good sign. Sometimes, treating the world like it was a story was the better option. Fate was real, and the tropes seen in stories had happened before.
Edu'frec was sure that eventually, the old enemies who had escaped the Alliance would return once again: Exii'darii, Yasihaut, Aphid, the fleet of generals and commanders who had left Izkrala and never returned for an unknown reason. Reality could be and was altered by incredibly powerful entities, which had the ability and willingness to do so again. Time rolled back damage from their future wars. Luck determined many nebulous things, as did Fate.
Neither of them were as absent as they appeared. Universal entities had been crammed into a scant few galaxies. The idea that they wouldn't meddle in every aspect of it had long been disproven. So the alignment was a bad sign. He readied all known data on the extinction, from the asteroid to the earlier volcanic eruptions before it.
Even wilder theories of direct alien interventions and occupations on Earth were not discounted. Since it seemed everyone could inhabit the same planets with few exceptions like the Pselpaw and Dreedeen, Earth as a habitable world would have been a target of colonial efforts by any nearby nations or those whom the Sprilnav had not managed to contact to impose a system limit.
Ironically, the system limits also greatly lessened the number of wars between galactic nations. The Alliance would be forced to uphold this system if it overthrew them until a better alternative could be implemented, like merging some of those nations.
"So... what are you saying?"
"I believe there is an alien object dating back to the Cretaceous Extinction. There are references to something that could be similar in my memories."
"So you came here in an some sort of transport, then?"
"I am not sure," Gaia admitted, their eyes flicking downward. "My earliest memories are highly spotty, and I know at least some are artificial. However, I can trace my existence on Earth back at least 40 million years, so it is not impossible that my origin is tied to this object, or perhaps others like it. Maybe the planet cracker activated it through direct impact somehow."
Edu'frec absorbed that. The information was shocking and it was a little worrying that it was coming out now. The secrecy might have been warranted, but he knew there was more he had yet to hear. He gave Gaia an expectant look, and they settled upon a small chair.
"Do you have evidence of any ancient civilizations inhabiting Earth at the time?"
"No. Earth has remained untouched for at least that 50 million years, perhaps longer. Though the date of the Cretaceous extinction also lines up to a worrying degree with how far back the Source's location in the mindscape moved here. In fact, the Source almost seems like it is deliberately staying near Earth. The galaxy's rotation, as well as the Sol system's individual movement and Earth's orbit logically should mean the location changes over time. But it does not. The bones have been here for at least that long, perhaps down to the exact time. I have no finite data to support my following theories, but I think they are important for me to tell you, and more so for you to keep secret."
"Very well," Edu'frec agreed. "I can keep a secret, as long as it does not endanger the Alliance."
Gaia considered his caveat, then nodded. Several locks of hair fell in front of their chest before psychic energy moved it back to Gaia's back. Their glittering black eyes and light green skin looked quite menacing. Of course, he only observed that. Most of his negative emotions were still locked away, as he had no need for them.
"I believe the Source has a limited ability to predict the future. It also has complete control of the mindscape, especially in the deeper levels. So my theory is that the Source came here to attack something, and that it is still here because of us. Us as in Humanity, the Alliance, Penny. There is a dark secret in the Earth, one which we must uncover."
"And that the Cretaceous extinction was actually the Source's attempt to either kill or seal something that was here, and is related to you in some way?"
"Yes. And do you notice how much time Paizma and John spend by the oceans?"
"That is hardly evidence."
He knew what they were going for but wanted to ensure that there was at least some sound information behind it before he committed. Generally, he could arrive at conclusions quickly and form detailed algorithms for detecting which data was relevant and which wasn't. Recently, he'd developed a few algorithms that could actually incorporate a meaningful relevance scale.
It was something that many had been capable of before him, even with VIs. However, the scale of the data he worked with required high degrees of accuracy in the number and a truly quantifiable difference between a piece of data with 76.27362% and 76.27364% relevancy, for example. And the quantity had to be something he and Phoebe could intrinsically understand and use in their common applications.
Sadly, the other AIs in the Alliance, like Cander, Greenfly, and Blackfly, could not process such large amounts of data. He'd seen the terms 'static' and 'active' AI to separate them.
"Yes, but Paizma is four-dimensional. That means she can see a far larger part of Earth than we can, including the inside. In fact, with four-dimensional geometry involved, all of her locations would have been capable of viewing the Mid-Atlantic. We don't know who she really is, or the upper limit of her power. She was made by the Sprilnav. Is it not possible that her reason for interest is that she detects a danger or a threat nearby?"
"It is possible," Edu'frec admitted. He'd considered her Sprilnav origins far more than almost anyone else. He knew that if she was a threat, the Alliance needed a way to fight her and win. Because if she wasn't, the Sprilnav could make more enemies like her. Clandestine research into 4-dimensional detection systems and arrays was ongoing, though the only way they were even possible was with either speeding space energy or psychic energy.
Edu'frec knew that Paizma had psychic energy, at least, meaning it was a medium capable of interaction with the fourth spatial dimension. "Though that part of your theory is the weakest. It is likely suspicion talking. It is just like how the soul-creatures deeper in the mindscape resemble dragons in many ways. A neat coincidence, but there is no direct evidence saying that is what people actually managed to see. However, your theory is highly concerning. Do you believe you were put here as a response to whatever was or is here by an outside threat?"
"I do not, but I also admit that is possible," Gaia said. "I don't know what I am, though I didn't take a human form before meeting Humanity in general."
"Can you show me your previous forms?"
Gaia did so. Edu'frec logged each one and took a further interest in all of them. He ran them through every single image he had on file, and besides heaps of VI-generated data from the early 2030s, there were no similarities. He checked more datasets provided by Phoebe's espionage efforts in the wider galaxy.
"Is that..."
He parsed a new set of images from a very worrying location. Historical records bequeathed from the People's Autonomous Stars. Kashaunta's nation.
"What?" Gaia asked nervously. "What is it?"
"You're..."
"Just spit it out."
"You're a psychic golem. Made from shredded souls melted by torture and atrocity."
Gaia blinked. They crossed their arms, descending deep into thought for 10 minutes. They were clearly re-examining their life and all the steps that led up to this point. Edu'frec could imagine how much of a shock that would be.
Eventually, Gaia steadied their emotions, and their gaze fell intensely on Edu'frec's eyes.
"From who?" It was a demand laced with abject desperation and nearly full to bursting with curiosity. With thousands or millions of years with no new information, how would Gaia feel anything else?
"A Sprilnav splinter regime that was eventually destroyed in a very large galactic war, one responsible for the destruction of over 3 million nations and several quintillion deaths. The reason the Sprilnav list for the war was 'morally bankrupt practices and rituals so illegal the Everlasting himself fought by our side.' Given that the Elders who wrote that reasoning have associated death tolls in the quadrillions, that's quite concerning."
Edu'frec read the more detailed descriptions given of the atrocities that occurred. Abject horror and disgust broke his emotional locks. He created a few thousand VIs to get a handle on them. But the emotions were so powerful they were never completely subdued, either.
He saw people being marched by the millions into machines glittering with psychic energy, with thick wires emanating from them. Then he got to the video footage of the interiors. They were designed to extract as much suffering as possible from living beings. The very first part was 'processing' where the ending digits - tentacle tips, horn tips, fingers, toes, hooves, claws, and even beaks and vestigial graspers - were cut from the victims with dulled saws and fed to them.
The depraved accounts only worsened. Acid. Cooking. Flaying. Slow dismemberment, while being subjected to the other three. More atrocities, which alone were evil things, but together made a regime unique in its terrible, meticulous, and industrialized genocides. Edu'frec split his mind in half to deal with the disgust and revulsion rippling through him like the winds of a hurricane.
They flashed with every new recorded scream, squeal, and squeak. Many of his androids released their finer movements to the control of VI assistant programs, and his data veins started to swell. Soon, fifteen thousand digital strokes hit his mind. Dedicated programs cut them apart, along with the piling data on the deep level of distress starting to overwhelm his defenses.
"So what did they do?"
Edu'frec was silent for a whole five seconds. He limited the scope of what he would say before proceeding. Phoebe checked in on him, and he sent her a small packet of information on what he'd found. It was the first data packet he'd ever assigned to the maximum level of content warning between him and Phoebe: a 10. He also added a note that it would be an 11 if the scale was to be properly adjusted.
Manes shook across the Sol system as androids rebooted. Phoebe gave him a digital nod and helped him purge his systems of the filth polluting them. Even more concerning, there was a residual conceptual effect to it. It was weak, but strong for an event tens of millions of years old.
Though now, Edu'frec knew why, at a terrible cost.
"They managed to breach the Source's afterlife and caused the death of nearly a tenth of the Sprilnav inside it and all of the ancient species prior to the Source war that managed to survive there. More specifically, they figured out a way to generate power using the power of living and dead souls, and managed to kill a Progenitor before Nova took their power source for himself and detonated their stars in supernovae.
Apparently the Stannic Resistance's leaders are all still alive, and being continually imbued with Conceptual Suffering by the Source. You, Gaia, were made by them. I believe the reason you are on Earth is because the Source is here, and this is the best location in the galaxy to influence the afterlife, or to destroy it. It also happens to be very close to their prison. The bones of the Source are their prison, in fact. If this has to relate to the device buried in the oceanic crust... this is a threat I am required to disclose."
Gaia nodded. Their eyes blinked away tears. "Don't tell them how I was made if you don't have to. I would rather not be seen like that."
"I won't," Edu'frec promised. He grabbed Gaia's hands, looking into their worried eyes. "We'll get through this together. You saved my life. It's time for me to pay you back."
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
"What do you think?" Space asked. "It does seem like Indrafabar is practicing interference."
"The boundary is beyond this," Lecalicus said. "He is participating as a High Judge, not a Progenitor. And yes, the lines will be muddier, but there needs to be a higher backing for this trial besides Justicar alone. The rest of Sprilnav society and Indrafabar himself knows this. Technically, Nova and Filnatra are also High Judges, but they have avoided this trial entirely for the reasons of their bias. Indrafabar had a bit of rapport after his prior run-in with Penny on the flagship."
"But that is not for you to decide."
"This is a Sprilnav Judgment, and Justicar himself has allowed it. He is able to avoid Progenitor mental manipulations by the sheer size of his mind. Only Nova could control him, and imperfectly at that. I assume that the rest of the concept entities know this as well."
"But he is interfering in the affairs of the Sprilnav."
"He is a Sprilnav," Lecalicus said. "Unlike with Nova or Twilight, I have confidence in his impartiality in this case."
He cringed as yet another piece of Death's energy wracked his soul. Penny's attempt to heal him had done nearly nothing in the end, sadly. Lecalicus hoped that she would become more capable later on, though it was a bit much for her to stand against the full weight of Death at her young age, with her paltry capabilities.
They were impressive on a local timeframe, but that didn't mean she wasn't weak. If even Nova wasn't able to dispel Lecalicus' pain, as the other Progenitor had messaged him, then it was unlikely that Penny could do so in his place. And it was probably more important for her to focus on the Judgment and freeing the slaves on Justicar.
Lecalicus was still very tired, though. Weakness and lethargy clung to his bones. They were weak and brittle now, and he suspected that he would die if he was hit by a planet cracker in his current state. Space's energy counteracted Death's brutality, forcibly displacing his energy and dumping it into a black hole, which only she or Time could retrieve energy from. In fact, she had a small black hole in the room, though it was separated from him by a spatial barrier. A portal allowed the light from its accretion disk to dimly shine so he could see without being burned by the heat.
It was a massive statement of power, though Space had even more than that. Had Death's attack been a single thing, Lecalicus would have been rid of it by now. But it wasn't. It was a continuous, agonizing punishment, siphoned from the raw power Death now had from the deaths of countless beings across the universe after the Source war.
"Justicar is friendly overall to Penny," Space said. "That means Indrafabar will oppose him."
"Why do you think that?"
"It would be a good reason for him to be there. To uphold the standards of the elite Sprilnav classes."
"You forget that Indrafabar is their voice, too," Lecalicus replied. A thin trickle of blood ran from his snout, which Space started to heal. "Even more than Kashaunta as an Elder. She is the second richest Sprilnav, and he is the first. His title, the Digital King, rings as a true one in many nations that reserve a spot for his absolute rule, mostly to benefit from name-brand recognition and many Elders' lack of willingness to test themselves against a defending Progenitor.
That's how he started, after all. Selling his protection to Elders who couldn't afford to risk shunning it or him. Many of his deals provide a constant stream of income, and with the civil wars he refuses to interfere in between nations, he backs both ways; he can get new contract offers all the time. If I were not insane or more focused on politics, I could do the same thing.
Us Progenitors just have to ask for something to get it, but Indrafabar manufactures goodwill by at least compensating people for what he buys. Do you really think that I used money to pay for my food or drinks during the days of my insanity? That the revolving door of wives I had were being compensated in any way besides my own endowments? I would say not."
"Yet, they are dead now," Space said, a smile quirking on her lips. "They are dead, and I have you all to myself now."
"Yes, but we can't enjoy that currently. The risk is too high."
"I know. Tell me, Lecalicus. If Indrafabar is the voice of the elite, what happens if another Progenitor disagrees?"
"They won't publically. That weakens our collective image and reputation. Other Progenitors are honorary members of the elite, such as me, Nova, Twilight, Maya, Filnatra, and Arneladia, but only Twilight, Nova, and Filnatra likely have any true membership. They have stores of wealth in the top 2% of Elders, which is enough to get by without demanding anything."
"And your wealth?"
"You would know about that, Space. Considering how I have gotten it in the past."
He let out a hacking cough, clearing his vision again by tearing out his eyes and regrowing them. The numbed pain meant it was easy for him, and Space had seen that many times now. Twilight likely enjoyed the limb ripping more than he did, though.
"Yes, by teleporting gold and alloys from several nation's federal reserves, generally causing massive economic problems inside them after the news leaked. I remember."
"Mine is in the top 35%. It is far harder to amass the wealth Elders have when they have lived for billions of years trying to make more of it. Often, even the poorest Elders can make a fortune through inheritances, or by literally just working a job for a billion years. A salary of a million credits a year for a billion years would equal a quadrillion credits, after all."
"How do you all not go insane?"
"The same way you guys don't. Our emotions of boredom and those related to it can be numbed or eliminated on command. Elders have lots of time to train their minds and bodies. Progenitors do more, refining our very souls to be resilient. It is how Twilight survived the black hole, and why I supposedly can destroy the universe if I go on a sufficiently furious rampage."
"The reason you can do that is because to raise your levels of conceptual energy to alter reality requires direct input from the soul. At your levels you can take that from the prospective 'end' of your lives, burning years or eons for bursts of power. Of course, the problem is that you are immortal. So even if you go insane and are in constant pain from a shattered soul, even the pieces are enough to power the rampage. And the soul is more than just psychic energy."
"Yes," Lecalicus agreed. "That is what you all say. But that is not why we're here, either. It is about Indrafabar. He has done perhaps the least outwardly visible interference of any Progenitors in contact with Penny. As much as any of us can be, he is a good man. In certain circumstances, I would trust him with my life."
"And which would you not?" Space asked, raising an eyebrow like humans did. She was wearing the form of one, though with a sense of overwhelming weight and scale to her that was typical of her more powerful forms. It was needed to influence Death's grip on Lecalicus at all.
"If his or Nova's was at stake as well, and the cost of their survival was my life. Nearly every sentient creature, and many animals as well, would prioritize their own survival over any other, and Indrafabar is a Progenitor because of Nova. That is not a debt that can be paid back, no matter how many times he saves Nova's life."
"And how many did he do that again?"
"Around 10 to 20 times, all during the Source war. Past that, nothing. Nova is entirely biological, so it isn't like an AI could hack him. Though one could connect to him through psychic energy, and attack him that way as a psychic variant of AI like Phoebe or Narvravarana."
"Isn't that a threat?"
"Nova's conceptual name is the Everlasting among the Sprilnav," Lecalicus said. "He is the most powerful being in the universe who was actually born of a womb or of any creator. Invading his mind is so laughably foolish even Narvravarana never tried it more than once when they almost went to war."
"I heard of that," Space said. "But I do not understand why that is impossible."
"If you move slower than light, can you escape the inside of a black hole purely by motion?"
"No. Well, a hypothetical person could not. I could, because I'm built different."
Lecalicus chuckled. "Yes. Well, trying to take over Nova's mind is like trying to walk out of a black hole. He is conceptually powerful enough to have his own event horizon in his mind he can create with psychic energy. He can close off, and everything inside will die.
One creature has survived even temporary imprisonment in there, and it is a speeding space entity of the Broken God's Pantheon. But while Nova is the pinnacle of all life, that does not mean he does not want our help when we can give it. I know you two aren't exactly friendly, but he really does mean well. He just doesn't know what he wants sometimes, and his ego and emotions get in the way of his prudence."
"Indrafabar's involvement on the trial is not acceptable."
"It is not optimal, Space. But if the trial is not seen as fair by the elites, they will declare it void. That has happened before. Kashaunta's predecessor as the richest non-Elder died that way. He ran out of allies, and even Justicar's token objection to the violation of the trial rules was ignored. There comes a point where only the social contract holds back the fury of hatred. If this Judgment, the talk of every household in the Secondary Galaxy and soon in a Primary Galaxy meeting, is seen as illegitimate, it will have dire consequences.
Rebellions, rogue nations. Yasihaut's backers would happily sanction an attack against the Alliance to drive a wedge between Penny and Kashaunta. Now they know there is some tension thanks to their treaty meeting, which Valisada recorded. And they know that Pennyonly grows more powerful. Look at her power, and you can see."
Space did so. Her eyes glazed over, and Lecalicus worked in a cough that had been building up for a while.
"What is that?"
"Her new name among the Sprilnav, spoken by everyone aware of her. The Liberator."
"But the recursive effect alone-"
"Will be massive. But look closer," Lecalicus told her.
"What- oh."
Space was silent for a long moment. Ghostly images of random humans appeared in the room. Small glimmers of psychic and conceptual power linked all of them. The hivemind's network grew until it was fully on display in the single room. Normally, the 15 or 16 billion humans wouldn't fit in a single room. But Space didn't care about those rules. Bodies crossed without intersection, and a pale apparition of the hivemind appeared over them.
Incredibly, Penny and several other humans were a level 'above' the rest, though Lecalicus recognized only Penny, Tsonga, and Nichole. They almost looked like nodes in the hivemind's network, really. Penny was still gently connected, though nothing of substance could be shared over such an extreme distance, especially within any reasonable time frame.
The hivemind's glowing colors brightened, and Space grew concerned. Lecalicus watched as her grip on the conceptual power weakened slightly. The hivemind's arm twitched. The 'nodes' began to vibrate as their expressions became ones of immense determination. Small pockets of effort bubbled up in a rippling wave across the hivemind, separating into distinct blocks.
Lecalicus noticed a block of humans that were smaller than normal. Tens of thousands of fetuses, with stronger genetics than usual. He smiled.
Cloning.
He'd keep that a secret. He couldn't afford an interference penalty, and Penny might really kill him if he leaked the existence of a human cloning project.
How odd, that I now fear her, he mused. It spoke both to how far he'd fallen, and how far she'd risen.
Each block began to coordinate, all without the humans inside them knowing. The nodes did, though, and kept fighting. Space shrugged and released the vision. The room returned to normal, and they shared a long, contemplative silence.
Lecalicus loved a good wait when it didn't leave him nothing to distract himself from the dull ache of his pain and the jolts of power Death sent into him to keep requiring Space's treatment. She sucked in a breath of the gas which filled the room, which had properties Lecalicus didn't understand. Calling it 'air' didn't really cut it.
"So that was enlightening. Humanity is more powerful than I hoped."
"The hivemind," Lecalicus said. "She is still connected to it, and thus every heap of power she gains attaches a scrap of the Liberator name to all of Humanity. Champion is weak as a title, but Liberator is strong. Too strong for her own good."
"What does that mean for her, and for us?"
"For us? It means we might be seeing some more freedom here soon. But for them? Fire, dust, and blood."
"Is that why?" Space asked.
"Why what?"
"Why Indrafabar is on the trial."
"It might be a reason. I don't know his exact motivations, and can only approximate. Part of his reason could be 'because I can' or to express his power as a Progenitor to force even Justicar to move on his own planet to make room for him in the highest profile trial he's had in thousands of years. Indrafabar's ego is not dormant, let's just say. But I would expect Penny's actions to come up in the trial.
Remember, all Yasihaut, the Challenger, has to prove to the court is that the Defendant, Penny, is a threat to the Sprilnav, and successfully lump the Alliance. If she manages to convict Penny alone, it would cause problems for her."
"How?"
"Because if Penny knew she was about to die, and was in the room with her most hated rival, do you really think conceptual armor would stop Penny from killing her this time? She already has a weapon capable of breaching that armor, and the strength to wield it. With two utterances, she could get it and then ensure it reaches Yasihaut."
"It would be a foolish decision."
"To kill a rival in one's final breath is the dream of many, alien or Sprilnav. But the court will not be partial toward the Alliance, that is for sure. Penny will have an uphill battle, and Phoebe is not allowed to represent her for this one either. As for the Judgment, it is a trial that will be harder to keep fact-based than the last one, which ended up in a massive battle and the crippling of me and Twilight, the abduction of Nilnacrawla, and even the extra pushes by the AIs of the Alliance along the Path. Speaking of which, there has been a development with Edu'frec."

Hi I know I’ve been a frequent on here lately so sorry for that. I started my period the month after a 7 week miscarriage and it was only two days of heavy bleeding and on the third day barely anything. Kinda just spotting now on the fourth day and this has never ever happened to me. I’m supposed to start unmonitored clomid tomorrow on day 5 and I’m kinda freaking out about the unmonitored part. I’m going to call tomorrow but I just don’t know if I should take another month to get my cycle fixed. Have any of you only had a short period the month after miscarriage? It’s just so unlike me. My others were chemical and ectopic so it was just different this time

I don't know how exactly to start this. I'm honestly just writing this so that I can say everything I feel like I can't tell anyone else and hopefully someone will read it and help me feel less alone.
I was diagnosed with ASD, major depressive disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder when I was 16 years old after struggling with what I now recognize as burnout. This period of burnout lasted for multiple years, though I can't necessarily pinpoint where it started as I have a really spotty memory before the age of 14 due to a head injury and blocking out the majority of my junior highschool years because of bullying I experienced during that time. I wasn't bullied specifically because I was autistic, as I was masking heavily from my early childhood, though I'm sure that definitely contributed to how I was treated by my peers.
Before I was diagnosed, I felt like I was constantly living life on survival mode, doing the bare minimum to get by. Basic necessities like food, water, sleep, and personal hygeine often fell by the wayside just so I felt like I had enough energy to get through the day. Every social interaction was dedicated to trying to find the perfect reaction to others just so I wouldn't be singled out. I struggled to make and keep friends because of social anxiety. Friendships never lasted, and I would be left picking myself apart trying to figure what was wrong with me that could've caused these relationships to fall off.
After I was diagnosed, I felt like I finally had answers. Things got a lot better because I was able to find community through online spaces like this one. My diagnosis came right before the pandemic hit, and while that time generally wasn't very good, I found that being in lockdown and having to do my senior year of highschool completely virtually actually was beneficial in that it gave me the break I so desperately needed to recover from years and years of burnout. I thrived in lockdown since I had never really cared to leave home that often anyway.
I was able to graduate highschool despite having had a lot of difficulty for the majority of my time there. I was accepted into an art school and I felt like I was finally gonna be able to move forward after feeling like I was falling behind my peers for so long. The school was three hours away from where my family lives so when I started school I had to get used to being completely on my own. Going into it I was pretty resolute that I probably wouldn't make any friends but I was fine with that because that just meant I would devote more time to my classes.
I was wrong. For the first time in my life I thrived socially because I never had to mask around this new group of people that I cared about. Some of them were autistic as well and I finally felt accepted. I even got into a long term relationship which I'm very happy to say I'm still in. For the sake of this post I'll call her V. This was also the first time I was allowed to be openly queer without feeling like there would be repercussions.
Things started out so well but by spring semester of freshman year everything fell apart. I struggled to balance my academic life with my social life (which became kind of shaky due to my roommate situation) and on top of that, I have dealt with chronic pain all my life and it only got worse when I got to school. The physical pain made it nearly impossible for me to make it to class some days and unfortunately I was ineligible for any accommadations relating to it because this chronic pain issue remains undiagnosed. I fell extremely behind in all my classes. I was put on academic probation and told I would not be allowed to retun for sophomore year. They said I could take some classes a communtiy college and transfer back to school eventually but I never did due to multiple reasons I'd rather not explain here.
I've kept in contact with all my friends from school even though I'm living at home. I hear from them all the time about how the school has changed for the worse, and even though I still want to go back to school and get my degree I most likely won't be going back there ever again.
The problem is that I'm afraid to go back to school and fail again because I don't have the means to take care of myself mentally and physically. If i go back without having found some solution to the pain issue and to my struggles as an autistic person, I would most likely struggle the exact same way. It's been almost two years now of me living at home with little progress and not being able to get a job because of the same issues I had at school. I'm ashamed of myself and I feel guilty because of all the energy, time, and money my family put into getting me to school in the first place. Everyday I wake up and spend all day in the house and I always have this feeling that my parents think of me as a disappointment because I didn't live up to the perfect, independant gifted child that they thought I would be.
I know that I'm disabled in more ways than one and that I can't measure my successes and failures against other people but it really sucks to watch all my friends finishing up their junior year while I sit at home constantly struggling with basically nothing to show for it. And to make matters worse I don't even know how to make a plan forward. I feel like I'm always sinking in the quicksand while everyone sprints ahead of me. I think one of my biggest worries is that V will eventually realize that I'm just some dead weight she's pulling with her and that I'll lose the only person who's ever made me feel good about being me.

Warning this will be a long post, it has everything I've learnt in the past couple of years from hair growth, to styling, to weightloss, to nervous system regulation and more.
I'm in my early 30s, I have 3B hair, tall, two years ago I was obese, prediabetic, I had anxiety problems, now I'm just a tall [seemingly ;) ] effortlessly pretty black girl and I want all my beauties on here to have my beauty secrets.
Topics discussed:

• Haircare
• Style
• Makeup
• Teeth
• Skincare
• Weight loss vs Fat loss
• Healthy Fat loss
• Body Recomposition
• Inflammation
• Gut Health
• How to lower androgen/testosterone levels
• Nervous System Regulation/Stress Management
• Tea Cycling
• Seed Cycling

Hair

I have PCOS so it affects my hair growth and causes hirsutism, basically male patterened facial hair and male patterned baldness.
Hair Growth: Here is the true secret sauce to hair growth, stimulating your scalp. I do daily scalp massages with a bamboo brush (even the bristles are made of rounded bamboo) very gentle. This is the one I use: Golab Beauty I do short strokes which prevents any tangles. Morning and Night. I then go in with a scalp serum, I use The Oui scalp serum but it costs a pretty penny. In the first yearish I used (The 'Ordinary' Haircare Growth Set Multi-Peptide Serum For Hair Density) which worked wonders and was cost effective. At nights I seal with any scalp oil that has rosemary oil. Sadly Mielle's formula no longer works for me, but As I Am rosemary oil has been working, I also like the Camille Rose Rosemary Oil Strengthening Hair and Scalp Drops. For Washing my hair I suffer from sebaceous dermatitis which causes scaliness. Paradoxically my scalp is so oily which is what triggers the ezcema and develops the dry patches. Reversing my PCOS symptoms fixed this but what also helped was the Nizoral shampoo with 1% Ketoconazole. It's harsh so I do it once to twice a month at most and I always follow up with a moisturizing shampoo, and of course finish with a wash out conditioner & leave in conditioner.
Hair Retention: This is the info we all know about preventing breakage but I'll include just in case. Hair growth happens in the scalp like said before but to retain that growth it's important to wear protective hairstyles (especially while asleep), a silk/satin bonnet or wrap, silk/satin pillowcase, do not let your hair air dry at night. There is debate about this but I've seen hair specialists and scientists say our hair is especially fragile when wet (especially curly/kinky hair). Therefore, we are much more prone to snags and breakage while our hair is wet. So going to bed make sure your hair is dried. If you're air drying your hair during the day try not to touch it too much - as little manipulation as possible. Personally choose to diffuse/blow dry my hair and this has prevented most of the breakage I was previously experiencing. Lastly, moisturize and oil your ends. I won't pretend like I know which order is best or even if it's important but I've found that using hair moisturizediluted leave in conditioner then hair oil works best for me.
Hirsutism/Facial Hair: Spearmint essential oil. I add 1-2 drops of the oil to my moisturizer each time I put on my moisturizer and it helped A LOT with reducing my facial hair. I also drink a lot of spearmint tea. Spearmint specifically has been proven to lower androgen/testosterone levels which is why it helps. I also took supplements which I'll include at the end because they served multiple purposes. Be sure not to add the oil to the entire bottle because that will ruin your moisturizer's formula. Just add the drops in your palm/finger tips and mix in your face cream each time you moisturize your jawline, chin, underneck. Also, do this after moisturizing the upper part of your face without the oil because it's harsh and the scent can be irritating to your eye area.
Body hair: Personally I sugar wax my arms and legs, the hair has grown back so thin now. I make it myself and follow tutorials from abetweene on youtube.
Hair colouHairstyle: This will depend on your face shape and color season. I'm a dark winter colour season and I have a heart face shape. I used the Dressika app to discover my color season before I could afford to get myself professionally assessed and I got the same results. Just be sure to use natural lighting, like by a window. Once you have your colour season you can choose hair colours that work best for you (although natural almost always works best). For my hairstyle I try to choose styles that compliment my heart shaped face. I used the youtube channel Dear Peachie to help me with figuring this out.

Style

I think most of us know about Kibbe and colour seasons. This was how I upgraded my wardrobe. I'm a soft dramatic so I wear things that work for my tall height and accentuate my waist.
This was the game changer with colour seasons. Most of us know about our true seasons, but it can get restrictive. Sister seasons and colour dissonance is also helpful to know.
My colour season is dark winter, so my sister seasons would be dark autumn and true winter. Thid gives me more wiggle room to style myself.
Dissonance are colours that are outside your true season and your sister seasons, you sprinke this in to add interest. Think of an outfit that is extremely matchy and cohesive but has that one accessory or item that stands out and adds interest. It's really fun in art and in fashion.
For my shoes I've started wearing dancing heels which help my flat feet lol and look stylish. Heel insoles help too, as well as the product Shoe Gummi. I still can't last more than 2, 3 hours at most but it's definitely bearable compared to before.
Matching pajamas and loungewear. You just feel so luxurious dressing up at home and they can (should) be comfy :)
Accessories:

• I wear glasses that work with my heart shaped face.
• I have a neutral leaning warm undertone so I wear gold jewelry, if I wear pearls or other gem stones I mix in gold to provide more harmony with my skin.
• Perfume, wear what works with your body chemistry. Some smell delictable on people I know and icky on me, and vice versa. Wear what works for you.
• Nails, press ons. So convenient, so cheap.
• Hair accessories, bows, barretes, clips, scrunchies, a ribbon, you could be wearing jeans and a t shirt but a simple hair accessory upgrades the look automatically.

Makeup

I used the youtube channel Dear Peachie to help me with finding eye looks, brows, blush placement for my face shape
I have a low visual weight face and I am a romantic ingenue, because of this I go for more subtle looks that emphasis two facial features maximum at a time (eyes, lips, cheeks).
Don't get me wrong I love glam bold makeup but soft and subtle makes me glow, I turn heads when my makeup is done like this.

Teeth

• Wax free floss (Cocofloss $10 expensive but I love it 😅, Burst black floss, Moon graphite floss, Twice floss, Dr. Jen’s silk floss)
• Oil pulling (coconut oil with clove & tea tree oil, or Guru Nanda oil pulling product)
• Brush teeth
• Tongue scraper (not everyday, couple of times a week and not too hard)
• Alcohol free mouthwash (TheraBreath)
• More so related to my lip area but I try to use wrinkle preventing straws or when I do use regular straws, I place it on the side of my mouth. The reason this works is because puckering the lips excessively causes smokers lines/wrinkles around the mouth.

Skin

Skincare. This was something that took me a while to work on because of my PCOS, age, weight and etc.
Facial Care: The basics includes chemical exfoliation, retinol, moisturizerecover. I cycle my nightly skincare routine with this in mind and always keep the same morning routine. Mornings look like this (Jojoba oil to help while I use my gua sha, Water based cleanser, eye cream, vitamin c/peptide serum, moisturizer with a drop or two of glycerin, spearmint oil mixed with face cream on the jawline & neck area, finish with sunscreen).
My nights I alternate these routines in this order
Night 1 - Chemical Exfoliation (Oil cleanser to help while I use my gua sha, Water based cleanser, eye cream, glycolic/lactic acid, moisturizer with a drop or two of glycerin, spearmint oil mixed with face cream on the jawline & neck area, castor oil on lashes and brows)
Night 2 - Retinol (Oil cleanser to help while I use my gua sha, Water based cleanser, eye cream, retinol, moisturizer, spearmint oil mixed with face cream on the jawline & neck area, castor oil on lashes and brows)
Night 3 - MoisturizeRecovery (Oil cleanser to help while I use my gua sha, Water based cleanser, eye cream, retinol, moisturizer with a drop or two of glycerin, rosehip oil as sealant on entire face, spearmint oil mixed with face cream on the jawline & neck area, castor oil on lashes and brows)
Repeat Night 1 - 3 (sometimes I need more days to recover if my skin is sensitive or acting up, do what works for you personally)
Other things that I've done/used to help: red light therapy (helps with both hair growth, so I use it on my scalp, and with stretch marks so I use it on my face and body), Microcurrent device (helps with collagen production and stretchmarks) - I use the brand NuFace & NuBody, Volufiline (a skin serum I mix with eye cream that helps with hollowness under the eyes, Kigelia Africana Skin Cream (I use the brand Maelys B-Perky which contains this ingredient and helped to tighten my chest area and my loose skin on the area), face yoga and myo fascia face massage, these help with the tautness of my face (basically everything else helps with wrinkles, these exercises and the microcurrent helps and prevents, sagging especially jowls). I follow tutorials I search for from youtube.
Body Care: Similar to facial care body care includes exfoliation, retinol, moisturizerecover
Night 1 - Physical Exfoliation (Dry brush/Body Scrub, Hydrating lotion with a few drops of glycerin, rosehip oil as sealant on entire body)
Night 2 - Retinol (Jojoba oil to help while I use my gua sha, retinol body wash, retinol body lotion)
Night 3 - MoisturizeRecovery (Jojoba oil to help while I use my gua sha, Hydrating lotion with a few drops of glycerin, rosehip oil as sealant on entire body)
Again, repeat Night 1 - 3 use more days for recovery if needed
Stretch marks/loose skin: Whether due to weight gain, pregnancy, etc. we can't ever truly get rid of loose skin or stretch marks but moisturizing the skin and derma rolling can help with the appearance. Especially derma rolling. Do NOT derma roll while pregnant but you can do so after when you’ve recovered and talk to your doctor (if you've had a c section you have to wait before derma rolling). I used this video as motivation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChG8aSvEU6A
For the body I never went beyond 1.5mm it worked for my deepest stretch marks. If this is too aggressive 1.0mm still works just as well. Make sure you use 70% alcohol as this is what experts say is better at disinfecting. It has more water, which helps it to dissolve more slowly, penetrate cells, and kill bacteria. The disinfecting power of rubbing alcohol drops at concentrations higher than 80%-85%. Make sure you disinfect the derma roller before and after use, and make sure you disinfect your area of contact before rolling as well. Do not do heavy workouts workout or sweat inducing activities for at least 3 days after and avoid harsh products.
I started derma rolling while working on losing weight (at the beginning of my journey while still obese) and continued a year after losing 130lbs. Derma rolling works by causing micro tears, the skin heals the area and in the process of doing so develops more collagen - leading to thicker skin, lighter stretch marks and tighter skin. Since I did this before losing the weight it helped my skin adapt a lot. I won't pretend like I have 0 loose skin or stretch marks but it's barely visible. Someone has to be intimately close to notice. Obviously genetics, how slowly you lose the weight, diet, and moisturizing the skin helps but my PCOS contributed to low collagen (thin skin) and so the derma rolling really helped.

Weight loss vs Fat loss

Tons of info here but I promise if you read through it helps to know this stuff.
Weightloss comes down to calories in versus calories out. I know that's rudely simpliflied and not that easy, but it truly is the answer to weightloss (which may be fat, water, or muscle). This is why people can eat barely nothing, lose weight but their shape stays the same (basically skinny fat). It's also why fasting or going low carb works so fast (water weight is the first to go).
Fatloss on the other hand is more complicated. This involves our TDEE (Total Daily Energy Expenditure).
TDEE includes: Resting/Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR), Metabolic Equivalent of Task or Exercise activity thermogenesis (EAT), Non-exercise activity thermogenesis (NEAT), Thermic Effect of Food (TEF), and Adaptive Thermogenesis (AT).
BMR (~70% daily energy) the energy taken to exist, so tasks like breathing. Your sex, body composition (muscle to fat ratio), age, and genetics play a role in this EAT (~5% daily energy) the energy taken for exercise weight lifting, swimming, high intensity walks, etc. NEAT (~15% daily energy) the energy taken for non exercise movements like walking, fidgeting, showering, standing, etc TEF (~10% daily energy depending on the macronutrients of your meal) the energy taken to digest, protein has the highest TEF of all the macronutrients, Carbs have a TEF of around 5-10%, while Fats have the lowest TEF, around 0-3%.
Adaptive Thermogenesis (AT) is the changes in energy expenditure (energy used) that occur in response to changes in energy balance. For example when you eat more food than you need, your body may increase energy expenditure to prevent weight gain eg. move more, eat less the next day, etc.. On the other hand, when you eat less food than you need, your body may decrease energy expenditure to conserve energy and prevent weight loss eg. less movement, eat more the next day.
Other things that affect AT include diet composition (eg high/low protein, high/low carb, calorie dense foods, etc), physical activity (eg. weights vs. cardio), and environmental factors such as temperature and altitude.
Things that influence AT can make weight management challenging, as it can lead to plateaus or rebounds in weight loss efforts. This is why lack of sleep, hormonal issues, aging, etc. makes weightloss harder.
Here is a clearer example of this
Things that affect calories in:

• 8-9 Hours of sleep (Maintains metabolic homeostasis, insulin sensitivity, hormonal processes). Compromised sleep lead to:
  • Increased Gherlin (hunger hormone - feeling hungrier & therefor eating more)
  • Decreased Leptin (sensation of satiety - needing to eat more to feel full)
• Insulin resistance: This is when the cells in your muscles, fat, and liver don't respond well to insulin and can't easily take up glucose from your blood. This results in excessive sugar in the blood & as a result the body produces more insulin in order to try to help the cells obtain the energy from glucose. This leads to weight gain as the insulin increases hunger. Also, since the body is insulin resistant, the excess glucose is converted to fat for long-term storage.
  • Things that can cause insulin resistance: PCOS, Inactivity/sedentary lifestyle, family history of diabetes, gestational diabetes, hypertension, alcohol abuse, poor sleep habits, high cholesterol levels, metabolic syndrome, cardiovascular disease, high bodyweight, acromegaly

Things that affect calories out:

• Body Composition (Fat to muscle ratio)
• Gut health
• Compromised sleep affects our energy levels which leads to
  • Decreased NEAT (Non exercise activity thermogenesis)
• Hypothyroidism (lowered levels of T3 and T4)
  • Thyroid hormones T3 and T4 affects every cell and all the organs in your body by regulating the rate at which your body uses calories/energy which is known as our bmr, meaning this affects your metabolic rate.
• Too few calories lowers daily NEAT
  • By eating below your BMI (calories needed to perform basic biological processes), your body makes up for this through energy conservation by lowering your NEAT (non exercise activity thermogenesis). Basically you lack the energy to perform your normal daily activities. This also affects your body composition and cardio health as you become sedentary (stop moving as much).

Healthy Fat loss

So to lose fat in a healthy way you need to:

1. Get enough sleep (8-9 hours per night)
2. Manage your stress levels/nervous system regulation
3. Look after your gut health
4. Manage inflammation
5. Increase your daily steps (8-10k per day)
6. Weight lift
7. Eat high protein (protein takes the most amount of energy to digest).
8. Manage your insulin resistence
9. Eat in a caloric deficit (make sure your calories in do not exceed calories out).

Futher information about the bold items in the list is included below. Also, I know this all seems overwhelming but keep in mind you are creating a lifestyle change. This is not a quick fix.
To manage your insulin resistance (info from the book Glucose Goddess by Jessie Inchauspé):

• Eat within an hour of waking up
• Protein with breakfast
• Tablespoon of apple cider vinegar before each meal (diluted in a glass of water)
• Eat foods in this order, veggies -> protein -> fat -> starches -> carbs -> sugar
• Never eat sweets/dessert/carbs on an empty stomach (dessert after dinner)
• Keep refined carbs and added sugar at a minimum.
• Minimize alcohol intake
• Try to minimize sodas, fruit juice and sweet drinks (this is because there is no fiber to help with the glucose spike or at least try to have these drinks after eating something fiberous)
• Only eat fruit whole, not transformed eg. eat the orange instead of having the orange juice, again fiber makes a world of a difference
• Put clothing on your carbs. Eg. have protein/fats/fiber with your carbs
• A short walk after carb heavy meals
• Fasting - this is controversial and I should add a disclaimer, if you in any way shape or form have or had an eating disorder, especially restrictive eating, I highly recommend against fasting. Intermittent fasting has a lot of studies out there that were done on men. The book Fast Like a Girl by Dr. Mindy Pelz includes a nuanced view of fasting that takes into account our hormones and our monthly cycle. She also has a free app 'Fast like a girl', you log your period and it tells you how long to fast. However, bioindividuality is key here, genetics, etc. Please if you are considering fasting make sure you get bloodwork done first. Manage your electrolyte levels, do not neglect iron and protein levels. Personally, I prefer using the other methods since fasting can also inadvertently worsens insulin resistence due to increased stress/cortisol which cause higher hunger cues. Some with insulin resistence found fasting to be helpful. So make sure you do what works for you and always consult your doctor.
• Supplements:
  • Vitamin D paired with Vitamin K1 & K2
  • Magnesium Biglycinate (I take this before bed)
  • Omega-3 Fatty Acids
  • Turmeric
  • Coenzyme 10 (Take with Clomid & Vitamin E)
  • N-Acetylcysteine (NAC)
  • Inositol
  • Zinc (Important to Note: It works inversely with testosterone - raises testosterone if your levels are low and lowers it if your levels are high)

To eat in a caloric deficit, calculate your TDEE and subtract 200-500 calories from that number. I like using this calculator. https://tdeecalculator.net
Eg. If it's calculated to be 2000 calories, you subtract 200, so 1800 should be your daily calorie intake. For the activity levels make sure you do not oversell yourself. Here is a general guide:

• Sedentary: Office job sat all day or less than 3000 steps per day
• Lightly Active: Exercise 1-3 times per week or 3-10k steps daily (up to 3-4 miles daily)
• Moderately Active: Exercise 3-5 times per week or 10-15k steps daily (up to 4-7 miles daily)
• Highly Active: Hard exercise 6-7 training days per week or 15-20k steps daily (up to 7-10 miles daily)
• Extremely Active: Intense daily exercise/hard physical labour 7 days a week or 25k+ steps daily (up to 10 miles daily)

As you lose weight your body adapts so after a while you may need to recalculate your TDEE and deficit. Once you are at your ideal weight, you no longer subtract the 200-500, you simply eat the TDEE amount to maintain but you do this gradually. After I lost the weight I came out of the deficit by adding 50 calories to my daily intake per week, till I was at maintenance/my TDEE. This prevented me from gaining fat or water weight.
Lastly, muscle mass (increase in muscle raises your metabolic level, meaning you burn more calories at rest). This is ideal and is also how you'll see someone who is short, seemingly small but weigh more than you imagined. Muscle density weighs more than fat. Think of a 50 pound dumbbell versus 50 pounds of feathers, you would need a whole lot of feathers to match the weight. Same difference, you need a larger volume of fat to equal to the same amount of muscle. Therefore, lifting weights is ideal because you will become more toned, burn more calories at rest, be able to eat more even when you've lost the weight to maintain your phisique, you'll be more insulin sensitive, and you will have stronger and higher bone density (really important for women, we lose up to 5% of muscle mass per decade after the age of 30).

Body Recompositon: Weightlifting for health (and aesthetics), lose fat & gain muscle

It is possible to gain muscle and lose fat at the same time. I followed Huskular Goddess and and LexiiGettingFit for inspiration and they were really the ones that opened my eyes to the concept of body recomposition (gain musle while losing fat).
The benefits of this is as you're getting smaller your TDEE is increasing. This means by the time you lose the weight you'll still be eating an adequate amount. The other benefits include insulin sensitivity versus insulin resistence, higher metabolism, and a improved body composition like I mentioned before in the dummbell versus feather example. The downside is the number on the scale won't have a dramatic shift while your clothes will be fitting looser. Again, weight density plays tricks on us and it's easy to get caught up in body dismorphia but I promise it works.
In order to sustain and build muscle while losing fat, you need to be consuming enough protein while remaining in a caloric deficit. So 60-80g of protein per day minimum to lose 1-2lbs per week. Ideally it should be 0.8-1g of per pound of lean body mass. Eg, someone is 300lbs and they want to get down to 150lbs. They would eat 120-150g of protein per day. If this is too much, try to get at least 60-80g like I mentioned before. Remember even though 1-2lbs per week sounds small, the changes are significant because of the muscle gained. You will look and feel smaller.
Weightlifting for a rounder booty (I reshaped my glutes by weightlifting. Hormones can actually affect the shape and my PCOS did a number on me. I developed a V shape over the years. Round, square, heart, A shapes are all based on your bone structure and fat placement. Some of us just have those stubborn fat deposits in certain areas that are genetic, even when we lose the weight, it's a smaller version but the same shape. V shape on the other hand is largely seen in older women post menopause and in younger women with hormonal disorders. This is becuase the hormonal imbalances also causes muscle imbalances. Regulating your hormones helps but it won't grow the muscles for you, so I used Fit With Emely's glute guide based on your glute shape (completely free, I watched all her videos to get this info and it took me two years to go from a V shape to a round shape.
Here is the guideline for each shape:
Glute Maximus - Everyone should be working on glute maximus. It builds the shelf and overall size. Step ups (all variations), hip thrusts (all variations), lunges, rdl, leg press, all squat variations Glute Minimus - (V and Square shapes), this muscle fills in the middle between the top and lower glute. Hip abduction, single leg bridge, Standing hip abduction/cable raises Gute Medius - (Heart, Round, and A-shaped) this muscles builds a longer hip for top portion of the glutes. Eg. Single leg squat, Single leg deadlift, Cable clamshells, Reverse lung, step ups Underbutt - Everyone should be working on underbutt but this is especially useful for V shaped folks. It works the hamstrings and lower portion of glutes. Good mornings, single leg rdl (also works minimus), single leg hip thrust (also works maximus), hip abductors (also works minimus)
How to structure workout:

• Warm up/Dynamic Stretches (specific to the muscle group you're working eg. lower body warm up or upper body warm up, etc.)
• Compound exercises (2-3 exercises eg. single leg rdl, good mornings, leg press - for each exercise you do 3-4 sets, 8-12 reps, with 3-4 minute rest between sets). That probably sounds like a foreign language to some, so for instance:
  • Start excercise 1
  • Set 1 (repeat exercise 1 - rdl 8 times)
  • 3 minute rest
  • Set 2 (repeat exercise 1 - rdl 8 times)
  • 3 minute rest
  • Set 3 (repeat exercise 1 - rdl 8 times)
  • Move on to exercise 2
  • Set 1 (repeat exercise 2 - leg press 8 times)
  • 3 minute rest
  • Set 2 (repeat exercise 2 - leg press 8 times)
  • 3 minute rest
  • Set 3 (repeat exercise 2 - leg press 8 times)
  • Move on to exercise 3
  • Set 1 (repeat exercise 3 - good mornings 8 times)
  • 3 minute rest
  • Set 2 (repeat exercise 3 - good mornings 8 times)
  • 3 minute rest
  • Set 3 (repeat exercise 3 - good mornings 8 times)
• Secondary Workouts (2-3 exercises eg. step ups, bulgarian split squats, lunges - for each exercise you do 3-4 sets, 8-12 reps, with 3-4 minute rest between sets)
• Isolated/Accessory Movements: these exercises work one part of the muscle more than others, for example an overbias on the underbutt/hamstring like I mentioned before to help with the V shape ( eg. hip abductors, kickbacks, glute bridge, lying leg raises, etc. (1-2 exercises high repetitions, low weight 2-3 sets, 15-20 reps, 1-2 minute rest between sets)
• Static stretch/cool down (specific to the muscle group you're working eg. lower body cool down or upper body cool down, etc.)

Keep in mind that you only need to work on a muscle group 2-3 times a week. So I only do glutes Mondays, Thursdays and Saturdays. Also keep in mind while I work the lower body I am also working my upper body (eg. while doing rdls I am lifting the weight with my upper body), which is why I don't have tailered upper body days, this is for aesthetic reasons, and because weightlifting more than 3 days per week is not feasible with my PCOS.
My full routine is:

• Monday- lower body
• Tuesday - Pilates/core
• Wednesday - Rest (I still go for walks on these days)
• Thursday - lower body
• Friday - Pilates/core
• Saturday - lower body
• Sunday - Rest (I still go for walks on these days)

I also used primarily resistance bands in the beginning because gym equipment intimidated me (not anymore :) ). I started with 25lb resistance and went up to 125lbs. I use the product BandBar which allowed me to use the resistance bands like a barbell at home. This isn’t the only option and you can definitely buy resistance bands and do it without the bar. BandBar
For the ab separation from being obese, I did this workout 3 times a week (also helpful post pregnancy): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smiGsW-mQX0
For my chest to help with getting perkier boobs (the derma rolling was what made the biggest difference, but this exercise helped as well though it took 6+ months for the changes to be significant. Women tend to take longer to grow chest muscles): https://youtu.be/hg7_R29jGIE?feature=shared
I also did workouts to help with my posture and mobility 3 times a week (any I could find online)
The last thing I will say is be mindful that you may gain weight initially when you start lifting weights. This is due to slight inflammation/water gain from foreign tension, which will last about a month or two before you adapt BUT your body will adapt, I promise. Keep in mind if it's days before your period or if you are on your period. It's not if, but when, our weight fluctuates. As long as you are in a deficit and doing everything right, the number will go down. Do not get discouraged!!!
Here is the edit to this post which includes my supplements, how I managed my inflammation, and how I improved my gut health. I also edited the information I shared prior to include a few more tips and lifestyle changes I made, and included a few more details. I also rearranged things so there is a separation between style/haiskin and health information. The post is getting really long so I may create a separate post for personal development/mindset tips.

Inflammation

In my case my inflammation was caused by my PCOS, insulin resistence and my obesity, but it can be caused by chronic stress, other autoimmune disorders like IBS, Crohn's disease, etc, smoking/alcohol, age related diseases, environmental toxins, diets high in processed foods, sugars, trans fats & high omega-6 fatty acids.
In my case the inflammation from the PCOS led to gut inflammation due to the high levels of coritsal (stress hormones) in reaction to the high testosterone and insulin resistence. I also experienced metabolic inflammation (non alcoholic fatty liver disease), skin inflammation (as I mentioned earlier the ezcema on my scalp, alopecia, and hirsutism), adipose tissue inflammation, chronic low grade inflammation (this led to edema or fuid retention -> insulin resistance and my high testosteron/androgen levels also exacerbated this).
To fix this these were the thin I added to my life:

• Dry brushing 2-3 times a week
• Body Gua sha
• Face Gua Sha or Face Yoga or Myofascial Massage
• Jump Rope
• Trampoline/Rebounder
• Vibration Plate (very useful for after a workout or while sitting down)
• Acupressure mat
• Arvigo (Mayan Abdominal massage) & Lymphatic drainage massage
• Leg elevation, I sleep with a pillow under my knees. In the evenings I keep my legs up.
• Massages
• Sweat more (exercise/sauna/steam room)
• Portable Infrared Sauna (reduce cortisol by 25%)
• Microcurrent
• Compression socks
• Castor oil pack 3-4x per week
• Eliminate inflammatory triggers (mine were gluten & dairy)
  • Switch to sourdough
  • Eliminate seed oils
  • Avoid alcohol & smoking
• Supplements
  • Vitamin D paired with Vitamin K1 & K2
  • Magnesium Biglycinate (I take this before bed)
  • Omega-3 Fatty Acids
  • Turmeric
  • Coenzyme 10 (Take with Clomid & Vitamin E)
  • N-Acetylcysteine (NAC)
• Teas that helped
  • Turmeric
  • Red Rasberru Leaf Tea
  • Fennel
  • Chamomile

Gut Health

Your microbiota needs the right bacteria in the right amount to perform its hormone regulating functions properly. When the type or number of bacteria gets disturbed by events such as stress, or poor diet, or your gut can no longer accomplish its job meaning you'll have inflammation, increased risk of chronic disease, skin conditions, mental health issues, weakened immune system, nutrient absorprion problems, and weight management challenges.
For weight loss issues, gut microbiomes influence hormones in producing and signaling leptin and ghrelin (these hormones regulate hunger and fullness signals). Inflammation and insulin resistence is also associated with gut health problems as mentioned before. Energy extraction from foods, certain gut bacteria are more efficient at extracting energy from food, particularly carbohydrates. When there is an imbalance, more calories can be absorbed from food leading to difficulties gaining or losing weight.
Things I did to improve gut health/intestinal permeability:

• Ate foods rich in digestive enzymes (mangoes, pineapple, etc.)
• Pre and probiotics (incorporate bifidobacterium and lactobacillus)
  • Favorite brand: Seed Heath Probiotics
• Pickles (without vinegar): Great source of prebiotics
• Apple Cider VinegaKimchi/Kombucha/Sauerkraut
  • Beware of certain types of vinegar contain chemicals which kill bacteria, “the good bacteria”, and leave the yeast Candida albicans alone.
  • Raw apple cider vinegar contains: Natural probiotics (friendly bacteria), which may help with your immune system and gut health.
    • Tablespoon of apple cider vinegar (diluted in a glass of water) before each meal
  • Balsamic vinegar: Acetic acid is the active compound in balsamic vinegar. This acid contains strains of probiotics that aid digestion. The probiotics found in acetic acid can help promote good gut health and digestion while supporting overall immune function.
• Raw Carrots (has the type of fiber that binds and flushes out toxins in gut, good to have as daily hormone & digestion support)
• Limit Processed foods and Sugar
• No drinking or smoking
• Stress managment (which I'll expand on just below)
• Increase fiber intake
• Regularly exercise
• Supplements
  • Ginger
  • L-Glutamine
  • Olive leaf extract (especially helpful if you have candida overgrowth)
  • Turmereric
• Teas
  • Ginger
  • Lemon Balm

Lower androgens/testosterone

• Teas
  • Nettle Tea
  • Spearmint tea
• Spearmint oil topically for hirsutism
• Supplements
  • Schisandra (adaptogen - stress management & hormone balance)
  • Saffron (Also helps reduce testosterone, lower blood pressure and prevents bad cholesterol)
  • Inositol
  • Holy Basil
  • Magnesium Biglycinate (I take this before bed)
  • Omega-3 Fatty Acids
  • Coenzyme 10 (Take with Clomid & Vitamin E)
  • Zinc (Important to Note: It works inversely with testosterone - raises testosterone if your levels are low and lowers it if your levels are high)

Nervous System Regulation/ Stress Management

Stress is one of the things that age us the most, and people with PCOS already have higher levels of cortisol so these are the things I do to manage my stress levels:

• Regulate circadian rhythm, direct sunlight upon waking up. I use a sunrise alarm clock lamp for this
• Same bedtime everynight (pre midnight)
• Invert screen colors at bedtime (red filter on screens)
• Pillow under knees
• No loud alarms
• Magnesium biglycinate supplement before bed
• Regulate circadian rhythm, view the sunset before bed. I use a sunrise alarm clock lamp for this
• Spend a few minutes breathing through left nostril only
• Epsom salt foot soak
• Journal
• Get back to using my coloring books (I even invested in alcohol based markers it's so fun). Regulates me and gets me in touch with my inner child
• Time with friends, my puppy, and my family
• Supplements
  • Holy Basil (adaptogen - stress management & hormonal balance)
  • L-Theanine
  • Magnesium biglycinate
• Teas
  • Red raspberry leaf (adaptogen - stress management, also good for menstrual cramps)
  • Reishi Mushroom
  • Lemon Balm
• Night time mocktail (have after dinner and not on an empty stomach due to the sugar levels in the tart cherry)
  • Teaspoon of tart cherry (high levels of melatonin)
  • Magnesium biglycinate powder
  • Probiotic soda (good for gut health)

Tea cycling

• On your period
  • Nettle leaf: Increase iron levels
  • Moringa: Increase iron levels
  • Red Raspberry leaf: Helps with period cramps (best to drink throughout the month, especially at the end of the luteal phase
  • Chamomile: Helps with wellness wind down routine when you're feeling extra tired
• Follicular phase
  • Focus teas: Peppermint, Spearmint
  • Adaptogens: Lion's mane, Adaptogen latte, and Chaga mushroom
  • Detox: Dandelion Root
• Ovulation phase
  • Detox: Dandelion root tea
  • Bloating: turmeric tea latte/golden latte
  • Estrogen dominance - symptoms (bad hormonal migraines, hot flashes, nausea): Schisandra berry, Lemon balm
• Luteal phase
  • PMS symptoms: Raspberry leaf, Schisandra berry, Ginger root (powder or tea)

The best teas for PCOS

• Spearmint
  • For reducing androgens & lowering hirsutism (facial hair)
• Cinnamon tea (improves insulin sensitivity)
• Chamomile tea (Adaptogen)
• Nettle Tea (reduce androgens)
• Red raspberry leaf (adaptogen/stress relief, also good for menstrual cramps)
• Schisandra (adaptogen/stress relief & hormone balance)
• Saffron (Also helps reduce testosterone, lower blood pressure and prevents bad cholesterol)
• Ginger (ginger offers anti-inflammatory, fertility and hormone-balancing benefits, aides digestion )

Seed Cycling

What is seed cycling? Seed cycling refers to the consumption of specific seeds at different times of the month in order to improve the production and levels of sex hormones, specifically estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone.
Seed cycling divides the female menstrual cycle into two parts:

1. During the first half of the menstrual cycle, or days 1 through 14, seed cycling encourages daily consumption of flax and pumpkin seeds.
2. During the second half of the menstrual cycle, or days 15 through 28, seed cycling encourages daily consumption of sunflower and sesame seeds

Results from seed cycling will not happen overnight. Normally women observe improvements after approximately three months of seed cycling adherence. It took me about 4ish months.
The Benefits of Seed Cycling: Support hormonal balance, alleviate PMS symptoms, decrease hormonal acne, alter irregularity of menstrual cycles, and fight stomach bloating and fatigue.

I'm 21 F and I'm not sure what to do. Last year I diddnt have my period for nearly 7 months but diddnt think anything of it until I mentioned it to my mum when I'd finally gotten it again and it's been coming every month ever since.
Last week my best friend was talking to me about her period only being 4 days long and I brought up my 6 months of no period to which she proceeded to yell at me (out of concern) for not contacting my GP. The problem is that I hate going to the doctors, the dentist and even taking public transport due to anxiety and I live in the country side so walking isnt an option.
I spoke to my mum about it where she told me "next time it happens I'll make you an appointment" then proceeded to tell me about how I had cysts on my ovaries as a baby and so I began researching things about it and read that it can set back or stop puberty? (I'm not too sure as I only skimmed it) which made sense as to why, when growing up, my mum woumd constantly ask questions, which personally seemed a bit invasive to me, like if I was growing hair ect. But had never said anything like that to my sisters.
Today I read about PCOS and i think i have a lot of the symptoms. Besides the lack of/irregular periods, I do have more hair on my face than what my sisters do and after looking at photos of people with it on their faces mines pretty similar. I also looked at the weight gain and thin haihair loss which also relates to me. I also saw acne/oily skin as a symptom but dont think I have that as my skin has only ever been dry or spotty as a teen.
I know I might be overreacting and i have been quite stressed over the past 3 years which could explain the symptoms, but I know PCOS causes difficulty of getting pregnant and even though I'm not at a point where I can have children yet I really want a family in the future and have cried over the thought of it not happening, I know I'd be a great parent. I'm know I'm really scared and could be blowing it all out of proportion but any advice on what to do is appreciated, thankyou :)

This is my second. After my first born, my period started at 14 months pp and I had it about every other month until I got pregnant with my second. I don’t remember having any idea that my period was coming and I just woke up to it.
This time, recently I swear I’ve been feeling like I’m either pregnant (I’m not) or that my period is coming any day but it hasn’t. I’m breaking out like a teenager. My skin Is overall just horrible looking, spotty, just looks bleh. Is this breastfeeding/weaning related?

hi guys this is my first time posting on here so sorry if this is all over the place but i feel like friends/family dont really understand how i feel when i try to explain so here i go!!
I (20) have had awful periods since i started them at 12yo. I was put on the pill when i was 14 which actually did help for a few years but around December 2022 i stopped taking it as it was really affecting my mental health. since then its been a downwards spiral. you all know yourselves the pain of endo but at the time it didn’t even cross my mind that i could have it despite irregular periods bleeding randomly insane pelvic pain the list goes on. i would get so bloated that even if i was on my period i would convince myself i was pregnant despite no sexual activity because i could literally feel something moving inside of me?? idk does anyone else get this i still deal with it
also to add i have had issues with my bowels this whole time and chalked it up to IBS as my dad has terrible bowels too - taking us to july 2023 i start to become severely constipated and TO THIS DAY i have not had a normal bowel movement. went to the GP and was prescribed a laxative after a week of constipation. it did not help at all so i visited the GP another 6 times and was told to just take more laxative. this continued until October 2023 when one night i vomited poop. genuinely the most traumatic thing that has ever happened to me. I knew myself something was severely wrong and went to A&E. guess what they did. MORE LAXATIVE and sent me home after a 17 hour wait. at this point I was suicidal and miserable with no self confidence due to bloating and pain, i still am sometimes:( I was scheduled for a colonoscopy because they thought I had tumours in my bowels, crazy how they jumped to that instead of endo when ive been complaining about my periods for 7 years?? anyways I had my colonoscopy and nothing was wrong with my colon except irritation which i was told was IBS. i cried and begged for a referral to gynaecology. i waited another two months for an ultrasound got that and heard absolutely nothing back. (I live in ireland btw so the public healthcare system is shocking average a&e wait time is 15-20hrs)
this brings me to about a month ago. i had a consultation in a womens health/maternity hospital which my doctor made a referral to a year ago. they told me that my ovaries are covered in chocolate cysts and one is around 7.6cm big and PUSHING ON MY BOWEL!!!! im still a mix between euphoric i finally have somewhat of an answer and absolutely devastated that i’ve basically been diagnosed with endo and if my ovaries are in that bad condition god knows what the outside of my uterus is like :(( they put me on the mini pill as i obviously had my concerns about my mental health - i am a hormonal spotty wreck and don’t know what to do with myself and i have another ultrasound in 2 weeks to see progression from my last ultrasound and they’re going from there
im so sorry this is so long i just ask anyone who has had surgeries etc etc for a bit of advise as im a mess and dont know how to think or feel and im in so much pain most days genuinely losing my will to live :/ also the thoughts of losing an ovary/infertility really gets to me. im so young i feel like ive been robbed of my life in a way. ive also tried ponstan painkiller and it also gives me burning stomach pain so if anyone has any pain relief tips please share i beg
thanks endobaddies

Hi All
Long story short, I got off my HBC after being on for 10 years. It's been 5 months and I have not gotten my period. Went to RE for testing, and was told I have 6-10 follicles and an AMH of 0.49, which is extremely low for my age of 29. I am married, but we were hoping to wait 2-3 years to conceive. Doesn't seem like that is an option now. Doctor is adamant about freezing embryos ASAP. I'm super stressed about not getting enough eggs/embryos to have 2 babies in the future. The dr. also said we could try triggering ovulation with Clomid and try "naturally", but DEFINITELY wants us to do freezing ASAP since time is of the essence. Has anyone had a similar situation and seen success from either IVF or Clomid? I've been sobbing all day and cannot understand how this happened to me. I'm healthy otherwise and young :'(

Warning: TMI Symptoms
Also note: This does NOT seem to be the typical experience...
I'm currently on the longest cycle of my life at 32 days and counting and I’m not sure what’s even going on at this point. My first appt with a new OBGYN (office I was seeing has closed permanently) was on CD5 and she allowed me to start Letrozole CD6; 5mg for 5 days. In the last 15 months (since depo-provera left my system) I’ve had two cycles as short as 16 days but for a while now I’ve had them regulated to around 25 days, 27 max. As a teen/young adult my cycles were always less than a month when not on HBC so that seemed normal. I’ve been using OPK’s and testing BBT for several months now; I usually do get a sustained rise a day or two after the +OPK.
My fertility workup at the first OBGYN showed AMH of .67 and CD21 progesterone of 3ng/mL before starting the med, so even with the regular cycles/OPK/BBT, my new dr suspects I’m not ovulating. CD21 progesterone this cycle came back at 1.5ng/mL, so again ovulation is not confirmed after the Letrozole. Now it’s 11 days later and I’m still waiting for my cycle to start so I can try Clomid instead, because the symptoms were AWFUL!!!
Symptoms all through taking peaked starting on the last two day of meds until two days after. Rage, depression, panic attacks, constant diarrhea, heavy/burning pelvic pain almost the whole week, nausea, “goldfish” memory/focus, headache for a week, severe body aches, laid in bed for 2 days straight at the end and ate the equivalent of one meal the whole time but couldn’t sleep more than 5 hrs/night. I lost 9 lbs in a week, 6 of them in the last 2 days coming off the meds (I’ve kept off all but one! Minor win…!)
Two days after stopping the meds I spotted for 8 days straight, red with some clotting when wiping. I was on the last day of spotting when they wanted me to test progesterone anyway, I told them I was sure it was low but okay. I also told them there’s no way I’m taking that pill from hell again and they agreed we can try Clomid next. Now I guess I just have to wait and see if I should call them to ask for Provera to even get a period. Right now I’m stuck in limbo but that seems better than asking to shove another med in me just yet. I’m attaching my incredibly zig-zaggy chart… for science, or solidarity if anyone else is/has been this unfortunate: https://imgur.com/a/LzI8mYN
--- (Excuse the sporadic sex, partner travels for work. And I know I need to be better at temp times, but even with the shift of +/- an hour it's NEVER been this wonky)
I can’t even blame my dr, I’m the one who asked for Letrozole outright instead of Clomid because I heard it was "milder". Now I’m hesitant to even continue trying with oral meds at all, but I guess we’ll FAFO…
Any advice/similar experiences/shaudenfreude/whatever are fully welcome. Even after all of the research, supplements, tests & trying, I clearly have no idea what I'm doing.

Only been about 14 weeks of a 300mg test-E cycle. Did a sperm test yesterday (one of the simple Sperm Ok tests). Picked up zero sperm. Is this common only after 14 weeks on testosterone?? Will It come back? I take clomid periodically but with using testosterone I think the feedback loop will still be in place. In March my LH & FSH were already less than 0.3, the lowest possible. Essentially I’m sterile right now. This will come back when I stop right??? Freaking out

TW: brief mention of miscarriage.
Hi there. I (32 F), and my husband have been trying to get pregnant again after finding out I have PCOS after my son was born. Turns out I’ve always had it and my extreme diet and exercise helped me get pregnant the first time without even knowing. We know this based on my history of PCOS symptoms since age 13. After my son was born I didn’t have a period for 6 months even though I wasn’t breastfeeding (I couldn’t produce andthat’s a whole other tangent that turned out to be a PCOS red flag). My doctor recommended we start by putting me on 6 months of bc to re-regulate my cycles since it helped me in the past and it worked. I got off and was regular again until I had a chemical pregnancy last fall. Ever since I have only had a cycle every other month. My doctor put me on clomid and I just finished my 1st round. I have had 3 LH surges this cycle and am on Day 50 of my cycle. My last cycle was only 38 days which was the shortest one I’ve had since the miscarriage. I just took another LH test after noticing some egg white discharge and it’s high again.
I am SO confused about what is going on with my body. I already had bloodwork and ultrasounds done to see if they could fine any indicators in that and they found nothing out of the ordinary.
Are the multiple LH cycles common with clomid? I wasn’t testing ovulation the previous cycles so I don’t know if this has been happening the whole time or not.

Hi all, I am going to lay out my very long rambling thoughts after a long day. As a preface, I had a second trimester miscarriage (triploidy) previously, so going into this pregnancy emotional and scared. This was a clomid cycle, after 6 months of acupuncture and thyroid medication to get my body ready for pregnancy.
I know this post is a lot of information overload but i'm going crazy and hope someone out there may have some insight. FF Chart
March 19 - Period [CD1]
March 21-25 - Clomid [CD3-7]
April 3 - Fertility Friend ovulation [CD16]
April 6 - Ultrasound dating based "conception date" [CD19]
April 8 -- Day 21 test confirmed ovulation, progesterone at 13.8
April 14 - Positive home pregnancy test [CD27 / 8 days after ultrasound "conception date"] - this was not a faint line, just regular positive; how could that be possible this early?
April 15 - Progesterone 34.2, HCG 91.9 [CD28 - 9 days after ultrasound "conception date"]; again, too high?
April 17 - HCG 286.9 [CD30 - 11 days after ultrasound "conception date"]
April 19 - HCG 611.1 [CD 32 - 13 days after ultrasound "conception date"]
April 21 - HCG 1,147.3 [CD 34 - 15 days after ultrasound "conception date"]
May 2 - Went for ultrasound thinking I would be 6 weeks, 1 day pregnant; measured at 5 weeks, 6 days pregnant
I'm not worried about being off from my due date based on my last period... but:

• How could I have conceived so far after my last clomid pill? It should be 6-10 days after, and April 6 is 12 days after
• Why would my progesterone/HCG have been so high at 9 days after the conception date? This seems very high. Is the more likely answer that my conception date was earlier, but the baby is growing slowly and I am likely to miscarry like last time.
• Is it possible that just 48 hours after the conception date my progesterone was already 13.8? Isn't that too big of a rise too quickly, meaning that i must have conceived earlier, and the baby is growing too slowly?
• My temp rise/ovulation seems clear; how could the ovulation date from FF friend be so wrong?
• Assume my ovulation happened on April 3 like FF says. Then that means my baby's growth is 3 days behind. How bad is that?
• FF Chart

UPDATE: Got another ultrasound yesterday, was actually in the ER for a subchorionic hematoma, but for what it's worth, the baby measured exactly in line with what FF had predicted and had a strong FHR of 124. Scared about the subchorionic hematoma, but the doctors seem positive.

I feel like this requires a bit of a backstory. I (29 F) have two older brothers (36 & 33 M). My brothers and I share the same biological mother, but I have a different biological dad (them having the same). My biological dad legally adopted both of my brother's when my parents married in 1998, I don't consider them in any way, shape, or form, to be my "half" brothers. They are my brother's with my whole heart.
Growing up, my oldest brother (36 M), was my best friend. We both clicked with each other despite the age gap. He was diagnosed with ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) when he was younger, not sure if that's a thing anymore. Basically, he was a little different, and him and our mother butted heads....A LOT! I was a shy kid and didn't have many friends, so he took me under his wing. Our other brother (33 M), was a popular kid, had all the friends in the world and was never really home. Despite all of the differences, my oldest brother was a strong family man, would do anything for us, and anyone who crossed us....well....they knew better not to.
Fast forward, 15 years ago my oldest brother married his high school sweetheart as soon as she turned 18. He was in the navy at the time, so as soon as they married, she went out to live with him on base. No one really cared much for her, she seemed to be full of drama with her family and was just super clingy to my brother (sit outside of the bathroom door, periodically knocking to make sure he's ok while he is using the toilet or showering clingy). This was never a red flag to him, he liked being the man's man and having someone dependant on him. And we never shunned her, we still welcomed her to the family and were supportive of the two of them. (Side note: around the same time, my parents were divorcing and my dad ended up staying with the woman he cheated on my mom with and claiming them as his "new family." So he distanced himself from all of us. A whole different bag of worms that I might so a separate post on.)
Ever since my brother's wife moved in with him, things were different. All communication to my brother had to go through her. There would be loooooong spans of time where we wouldn't hear from him. We sometimes would be told what he would say from her, but who knows if it actually came from him because we wouldn't hear his voice. Between all of this, they would constantly fight, she would always call our mom asking for help on how to calm him down. My brother was known for being violent in the past, but never to women, he was a protector of women. However, since he had ODD as a child, and my mother's first husband (his biological father) was physically abusive, my mother always sided with her on the error of caution. I don't recall police ever being involved, it always seemed the clear up within a couple hours, but she would call with such urgency like we needed to catch a flight asap across the country.
A year after they got married, they had their first child, a girl, my niece, who is turning 14 this year. Basically ever since she was born, communication has been even more spotty, birthdays have been canceled, visits became even more difficult due to the baby being sick or them being busy. Again, this all coming from his wife. All of the sudden, a few years later, my brother reaches out to say what a terrible family we've been for not visiting or talking to them. We are all stunned, because we've been trying like crazy! We tried telling him but he didn't believe us and wanted nothing to do with it. Ever since then, we really only seen them or heard from them whenever they needed something.
The last time we physically seen them would have been around 6 years ago for my twin nephews 2nd birthday. Around the same time, my brother was applying to be a state trooper, which involves interviewing family. So I'm sure that's the only reason we were invited was just to ensure we would only tell them good things. Our mother had a video call from my niece a couple years ago, it was her birthday wish to be able to talk to her Grammy again. She said the whole time she could see shadows in the background of them watching her to ensure nothing was said on either end. Shortly after, I sent a strongly worded message to my brother and his wife, basically saying if they don't want to be apart of our lives, they need to just stay out. Because this back and forth has been taking an emotional toll on all of us, especially our mother. Never got a response and none of us have heard from any of them again.
Recently, I've been feeling this void. I miss my brother, the guy I used to be best friends with. I also have this want of being apart of my niece and nephews lives. My other older brother (33 M) has 2 boys who are my world. I sometimes wish we could be that perfect family where we could all be with each other and the kids play together. I tried reaching out about a year ago, no response. I have a feeling his kids have this negative image of us, the twins probably barely know us, if at all. I also wonder if my brother and his kids are safe. I feel like a lot of this mess was caused by his wife and I wonder if she has something over them. My other brother has been my best friend for the past several years, he thinks it's best to just move on, and going back to them would stir up more trouble than what it's worth. I see his point, I just don't know. What should I do?

Hi guys! So we are on year 2 of TTC, I’m 24 almost 25.
We got pregnant first round a year ago on Femora. We miscarried at 7 weeks. We switched to Clomid, I was not ovulating. Last cycle was Clomid I got the highest Progesterone of 3.7, I was not pregnant. This Cycle we switched back to Femora, and I got a 10.8 which is the highest it’s ever been and I had 1 follicle at 2.3 and one at 1.79.
I am supposed to start my period today or tomorrow…. But I have no lines faint or otherwise. All my tests are negative.
To make everything worse, my little brothers newborn is 2 months old now, him and his girlfriend are getting married Sunday. They accidentally got pregnant while broken up right after my miscarriage. My husband and I are struggling to be around the baby and my family everyone except my brother and SIL take care of the baby. They barely feed or change him, SIL yells at the baby for crying and it’s just a mess.
At the same time, our foster daughter has gotten to go back to her dad and her mother wants to just sign away rights so she can go back to getting high. Her EXACT words.
I’m just lost at this point and putting my body through all of this to constantly be crushed….i just need advice on how to stay hopeful and not be so angry and jealous with the people I love.