An open letter to Benedictine College and Harrison Butker
I first came across the Harrison Butker’s 2025 commencement speech at Benedictine College on Twitter. It was a short snippet of the speech and I was in disbelief of what I heard. Intrigued, I went to YouTube to find a recording of the whole speech before drawing further conclusions. Now, I am nearly beyond words.
I grew up in the Catholic Church, attended a Catholic high school, and do still consider myself to be Catholic, although not without my own qualms with the church. However, this is not about that. I am also a more recent college graduate. I graduated from a large public university 5 years ago and am looking forward to obtaining my graduate degree next year, both degrees I have worked incredibly hard for and am immensely proud of. I don’t remember my own commencement speech, but if it was anything like this, I am glad I don’t- I loved my undergraduate experience and will be proud to have my diploma framed and hanging one day. Harrison Butker’s speech is condescending, out of touch, and against the very values of your school. You both, Benedictine College and Harrison Butker, owe these graduating students an apology.
As a proudly Catholic college, I do not hold issue you or your choice in speaker with promoting Catholicism and the beliefs of the Catholic Church, even in regard to politics; while I may not agree, that is your choice to do so and one that underlies the foundation of your school.
The class of 2025, as with many recent graduates and current students, have had to work through a unique set of hardships as a whole, beyond the personal hardships we all face. Mr. Butker is not a recent graduate, nor is he working directly with a school or university. College is a change for everyone from high school, with the course load, schedule, and independence, but beyond the nervousness and uncertainty that comes with this new phase, students are able to rely on the fact that since its inception, the college experience has been relatively stable, until the COVID-19 pandemic. Students, and faculty, were forced to rapidly adapt to a situation that we knew very little about and had no history to guide us. To minimize that, say that “it is not unique,” especially as someone who was not experiencing it from an educational aspect, is disrespectful to students and faculty, regardless of beliefs on the issue. Pandemics are not new, nor are controversial policies, but what these students faced, was new. I know of no other time during our history, where thousands of students were nearly overnight told to immediately leave their housing and worry about their finances and shelter as not everyone has the means to find new housing or go back to their parents, have food outside of the dinings halls, or access to a computer and internet to complete their coursework where they had planned on attending in person or using university resources, when these things are apart of what students pay thousands of dollars for or take loans to afford as part of their college expenses. Whether or not you support these policies and changes, that does not lessen the unique hardships faced or make a student wrong for adhering to them when failure to do so could result in greater consequences. If there is another time where this has happened, I am happy to be referred so that I can learn. It is one thing to say that the feelings of uncertainty and anxiety around new policies and adapting to them are not unique, but another to say that the challenges these students faced as a result of policy is not unique, it is disrespectful, condescending, and completely out of place as someone who did not experience it.
Beyond this, it is even more disrespectful to diminish the accomplishments of particularly the female graduates of your university by allowing your speaker to advocate forgoing using their degree and instead, choose being a wife and mother. To Benedictine College, if this is what your school advocates, then why charge tuition to your female students? How will they pay for it or pay off their loans for it? Do you expect your female graduates to marry a man who will pay off their debts? What happens if they don’t or if they choose a vocation in religious life, are their debts forgiven? To take it a step further, why admit female students at all if their degree is not meant to be used? A yearly tuition of $35,000 seems a greedy ask to attain what becomes a useless degree. Maybe this is not something you support, but I have yet to see any statement indicating dissent with this position. The Benedictine sisterhood and St. Scholastica, its founder, take pride in education and she herself do not choose the vocation of marriage. How would St. Scholastica be able to attend your college when she found her vocation to be in the religious life? To Harrison Butker, how dare you? I am happy for you and your family that your wife can be a homemaker if that’s what she wants to do, but that is completely out of touch for what nearly all of these students will face as they graduate. Your family can comfortably live on just your salary of over $4 million per year, but you are a minority in this situation. You speak of not allowing cost of living to prohibiting where you live, but with your salary, I’m sure there are few areas you cannot find suitable housing and access to food. Is one supposed to choose to live in circumstances where they do not have a stable shelter in favor of a more traditional priest? Earlier in your speech you mention “accepting your lane and staying in it,” I believe you should have taken your own advice, because your lane is far wealthier than mine and likely all of the graduates you are speaking to. Most families will need two salaries to live in even a fraction of the comfort you live and even then, may not be comfortable. From what I understand, you went to GT on a scholarship, another minority, factor in student loans, and the comfort fraction becomes even smaller. Should a family live in a constant state of worry about money so that a woman can be a homemaker? You spoke of charity and the platform God has given you, but I do not see you using your wealth for charitable acts to support the lifestyle you advocate in these graduates. You decide to speak for women and presume they are most excited at the prospect of marriage and children when you are speaking to congratulate them on a major accomplishment that has little to do with their future as a wife or mother. Can a woman not find fulfillment and a calling as a valuable member of the workforce and a wife and mother. As a woman who anticipates graduating from medical school in one year, is being a doctor not part of God’s plan for me? As I understand it, my vocation, is not between being a wife and mother or being a doctor, but of the calling to serve as a married, single, or religious person. You make it seem as though I cannot be both a doctor and family woman one day. You make remarks about controlling how and when children are conceived. You condemn IVF and surrogacy when a large portion of woman and men in this country struggle with infertility or health conditions making a pregnancy incredibly dangerous. If a woman cannot naturally have a child then is she not to be a mother? Do you also condemn adoption as it a choice and controlled method of becoming a parent? Is it only if a woman is unable to conceive naturally that it is acceptable to work rather than be a homemaker? I have always been taught in my experience with the Catholic Church to welcome children into your life whenever they come about, not as a barrier to being a working mom. You have laid out the options as black or white, mother or worker, when I believe the advice is to be open to and welcome God’s plan for you in both areas of your life. Not only do you advocate for the females graduates to forgo the workforce when this is an unrealistic path for most, but in doing so, you add extra pressure to the male graduates to provide in an unrealistic way. At what cost do men take higher paying jobs they are unhappy in so that their wives can be homemakers? You have worked hard to get to where you are, say you are doing something you love, and are able to show the fruits of that labor, should these graduates not show all of the knowledge and skills they have gained through earning their degree?
To Harrison Butker, I, too, am Catholic. I believe we also are similar in that we question right from wrong and do not just blindly accept the things that are fed to us. You say that our priests and bishops are anointed by God, but quickly question that anointing. I now question you, in who you are to question who has been anointed by God. You point out it is your duty as a father to lead your son. In our faith, we call our priests Father, but you call us to question and right them, should they not lead us? Should we not follow the quote you use of trusting our priests to translate the teachings of the Bible for us? Does your son question you and what is your response? You call for priests and bishops to be righted but also to stay in our lane. I do not mean to support the actions of our church leaders either way, but as an individual am not following what you ask of these graduates.
To Harrison Butker, you say you speak from experience, but it seems your experiences are vastly different than most of the graduates you speak to. Your statements contradict one another, in questioning our church leaders, staying in our lane, and even speaking of your wife as someone who converted to Catholicism but later question being with someone of a different faith, not allowing for change. As I have stated before, it is one thing to speak of shared feelings, but another to speak of a shared experience. You give advice in black or white rather than ideas for consideration and reflection. Listening to your commencement speech, I can’t imagine I would have found excitement for the future and wisdom as I start to move forward on my own. Had this been my speech to give, I couldn’t speak to a lot of the challenges these students faced, but can empathize with the fears of stepping out of the student life and uncertainty about my future. I could speak to how being able to adapt to challenges, facing hardship in my own way has made me strong and able to persevere and that they too have grown to be stronger and able to persevere too, even if they are not confident. I could speak to how money is not always the most important thing in life, your church, your family, your community are all things to reflect on when making decisions about the future. But, this was not my speech, it was yours. My ideas may not be right, maybe it has more “fluff” than yours, but they do not tell me the right or wrong way to live my life, as that is between me and God.
To Benedictine College, much of this is address to Harrison Butker. However, this is the person you chose and supported in giving a commencement speech. What is address to him, is also a reflection of what you support and believe, and the message you hope to send your graduates off with. I am not one of your graduates, happy to say I am not with this speech, but at least for me, this is the representation I have of your school.
To Benedictine College and Harrison Butker, you both owe the graduates an apology for these disrespectful and confusing sentiments as they enter a new and stressful chapter of their lives.
To the Benedictine College class of 2025, congratulations!

To preface one thing - this is in Singapore, I am half singaporean and half thai, I have no close friends or family members around here, but I study here.
So after many years of dating and many quite one sided and manipulative relationships with guys and after 3 months of being single I finally got into relationship with my GF. First time trying lesbian dynamic. I felt it would be very different, she would understand me more and was less demanding of me and of course less physical and simply more harmonious, since, you know it's a fellow woman.
I was also taking it slow and we had like dozen dates before getting entangled officially couple months ago. She is quite lovely and well educated, slightly older than me, somewhat exotic looking around here and it felt we are becming good friends.
When we finally hooked up she had to guide me a lot because it's indeed quite different dynamic than with a guy but that was fine, I guess and she seemed to even enjoyed and would joke about how I was lesbian virgin and she can shape me to be suited for her. Which I thought at the time was cute.
Long story short I recently finally moved in with her and that was a mistake. I've been at her place most of the time we would hang out because my place was really tiny. Right after I moved in I was just in a span of week introduced to basically a laundry list of chores I should do and at the time I thought alright we pull this together right, but we didn't. After next couple weeks I realised (for the first time ever) that I am doing the same chores I would be doing for my former boyfriends and I started to feel, yet again, more as a maid with benefits. This time I had courage to voice that to my GF and she would apologise and be all sweet about how she didn't realise and that would coo me for another week, but no changes would actually happen. Only now I think it's been manipulative.
Since I am a university student and a "gym bunny" I have less free time than one would expect and suddenly it was filled mostly by coming home doing chores before going to gym and then coming from gym and my GF would be still up and then she would be demanding for attention, mostly in bedroom. This is when I've also noticed that while guiding me in bedroom she never seemed eager to pleasure me in return unless I would specifically ask and so for days I tried not to ask and suddenly it was super one sided bedroom stuff and she seemed perfectly fine with that. That stung because it immedaitelly reminded me of my last 3 boyfriends where it was the same.
I held a lot of this in, trying to keep being disciplined and do all she'd like me to do and chores and everything more and better in hopes of her seeing more value in me. But it simply didn't happen, not over course of two plus weeks.
Well this weekend I was using her ipad, where she always logged off out of all social and communication apps when she wasn't using. I always thought it's a like... internet safety thing in case the device gets hacked or something. But this time her whatsapp and wechat was logged in and I simply discovered that while I am at school and she's "working" from home she's hooking up at least once a week with guys. Or at least mostly with guys I wasn't in the mood to read into too much detail, seeing texts of your presumeably loved sending very intimite and heartfelt texts to guys and reacting to their D pics and sending stuff back... I felt betrayed but so far I haven't said anything and the routine contiues to my own detrement.
From doing gymnastics on higher level for 10+ years I'm used to some discipline and manners that would now be probably consider abuse, but what I learnt from that was to be quiet a lot not to cause conflict and please people. Despite my previous relationships with guys being basically abusive it was eventually always them to dump me, I never had the guts to do it yet (not counting middle school lol). This time I recognize the problem and I would like to end things but at the same time I moved too soon (in hindsight) and have nowhere to go at the moment.
And so for weeks I felt like maid and for 4-5 days now I feel more like bang maid who's also stupid and naive and I couldn't contemplate a good .. like escape plan, that's why I am making this post. In the meanwhile I continue the same old routine unable to almost meet my GF's eyes, yet she seem strangely not noticing any change and looking quite happy. On top of that you probably can guess how I feel being at school, knowing there's a decent change she's out hooking up. It just all crushing my selfesteem yet I feel stuck in the routine and my head.
TLDR: GF is cheating, doesn't know I know, because I am scared to confront her since I have nowhere to go if I'd move out.

Hi folks, im up the creek right now and need some perspective.
I(28f) met(34m) a guy at work in January and we had an instant connection. I really liked this guy and the feelings were mutual. very soon he was chasing me, trying to meet me and hang out. He had all the green flags,.. he was consistent, honest, thoughful etcetc..
UNTIL he wasnt! I found out from a friend of a friend that he had a girlfriend of 8 years! I was not on social media, and because I trusted him I just didnt think of doing any research..
As you can imagine I was heartbroken, and so embarassed and upset I messaged his girlfriend and told her everything. I learn that his gf was fiercely loyal to him, and never did anything wrong in their relationship. On top of that she was a beautiful person and even i didnt understand why he did it.
Anyways, I told her, blocked him, they got back together and a month later of NC.. this guy starts messaging me in work.
At first it was wanting to talk about what happened, so I agreed and it was a lot of arguing... I told him to leave me alone.. he wouldnt, messaging me again and again and again.
I have tried numerous times to end things, and each time he wont accept it.. I have tried blocking him on everything.. he shows up to my apartment. If I dont answer, he shows up to my desk at work.. I told him I got a boyfriend even though I didn't and he had a MELTDOWN, completely heartbroken.
He tells me that him and his gf are now on a break, because the relationship is fucked up. He tells me that he wants things to work out with me because he is so upset he broke my trust and ruined everything. He tells me that he is willing to do anything to make me trust him again. He is doing everything to change my view
However, all I see is a man still in a relationship, afraid to take the plunge and commit to me, and I actually dont trust him. From my side, the sunk cost fallacy is kicking in, and I know deep down if I date him, I will look over my shoulder constantly, worrying about the next girl.
I cant seem to break whatever bond we have... and when I try he wont let me get away. What I dont understand is why he is doing this to me, why wont he just let me go. He told me its because my opinion matters to him and that im special and something he doesnt want to lose. He told me this is the first time he's ever cheated and he didn't think he would fall for me. He tells me I'm the only person that understands him, and I help him navigate his emotions (I am a bit stoic and he likes that)... but I think thats just cheaters bullshit.
Thank you for reading
TD;DR: Became the other woman without realising, guy wont let me go no matter what I do and is afraid of me moving on. Feelings and attachment are developing and I am completely lost in myself
Edit: for typos, sorry I am on my phone lol

I recently had a issue with someone I know. For context, I'm biracial with a black dad and white mom. My mom is super racist towards woman of color. My dad also has his issues with his own race and towards the jewish community. So Ive heard and seen my fair share of racism. Especially even towards me on both sides of my family. So I'm quite sensitive to it.
I was hanging out with my boyfriends mom and she was complaining about her boss. She explaind to me that her boss pays her using cashapp. Which I replied, "That is a bit shady" to which she answered, "Well, he's black. So. " she said sarcastically. I kinda just looked at my boyfriend and raised a eyebrow. What did he being black have to do with any of that? But my mouth shut since I was in her house.
On another occasion. I was expressing my more southern taste in food. I was telling her that I enjoy alot of soul food other people might find a bit off putting. For more context, this is a white family. They only have 1 black member who was adopted in. She proceeded to say, "What? Do we have to start bringing grape koolaid and fried chickens to the functions for you and (black cousins name) ?" Which she laughed at. But I was like, what? Once again, said nothing. Just told my boyfriend in privet it made me uncomfortable.
Finally, I'm over her house again. I was sitting in her dining room table. But her husband was watching this movie from the 90s or 80s. It looked like it was about a white guy teaching africans how to play basketball. It was... what it sounds like. But I didn't pay much mind to it since I think its okay to indulge in dumb movies that havent aged well. No thought into it. Then a scene in the movie starts playing. All the africans start chanting and dancing in a very stereotypical fashion. She proceeded to look at me and go "what?" Then looked over at the tv. She said, "You watching your people up there?" How was I suppose to take that??? So I kinda just sighed and walked out the house and left.
Eventually I did vent and try to talk it out with my boyfriend and his brother. I told them directly, "your mom is microagressive" this did not go over well. As eventually, the brother did bring it up to the mom. He was insulted I called her micro racist. Which I didn't. I don't even think thats a thing. But she was super angry I called her 'racist' since she has a black nephew and has dated black men before. Classic.
But even still, I think they don't know nor understand what it means to be microagressive. That its usually done without any intent or thought. But this whole thing has spiraled out of control. I feel I can't talk to her about because shes too angry about being perceived as racist. She isnt showing any sort of care or wanting to learn or be educated on my perspective.
I can't drop her as much as I would want too because it's my boyfriends mom and he wants me in her life. But because they are not a minority, let alone of mix race. I feel they are very obviously to some of things they say to me. Call me a snow flake, I just don't enjoy those types of jokes.

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Chapter 15: For What You’ve Tamed
“We’ve come a long way, Vikri. Let’s finish your story,” Rayner said as he sat down in the same chair, crossing his legs in the same way.; small consistencies that made the task of talking about my past seem a little more routine. “I understand you lost someone important to you that day.”
I shifted slightly where I sat. “Yeah,” I answered coarsely. I grabbed at the poncho hanging over my shoulders. I remembered what it felt like in my dreams. Radiant warmth always seemed to emanate from it. Not necessarily the poncho itself, but Tenga’s memory. I realized that as long as I had those, then he was still here in a way. I’d much rather have him here than his memory though.
Rayner nodded. “I know what that’s like,” he said in a near whisper.
I shook my head. “It’s not just that I lost him. I…I failed,” I rasped. “I could’ve saved him. Maybe if I’d gone back I could’ve gotten the equipment before the fire did. I was too afraid.”
Rayner nodded slowly. “And now you feel responsible.”
I remained silent as I clutched my tail on the couch beside me. Rayner already knew the answer. He pursed his lips. “Yeah…I know exactly how that feels.”
I looked up at him. For the first time, his eyes weren’t on me, but on the adjacent wall as he seemed to ponder something. “You think about all the things you could have done differently. Things that are so obvious in hindsight,” he sighed and adjusted his glasses. “If only it were that clear in the moment.” He looked up at me, clasping his hands together. “So walk me through what happened.”
I could still vividly remember the moment Tenga got shot. Everything happened in the blink of an eye. So quickly in fact, that it even took Tenga a moment to realize there was a hole in his torso. Minutes of continuous tension shattered with a hail of gunfire lasting less than a second. The echoes continued to howl through the mountains long after the bodies met the snow. My friend was fatally wounded, the snow around him dyed bright red with his blood. And I had to leave him.
The entire time I was in the belly of the federation destroyer with danger lurking around every corner, all I wanted to do was to get this done as quickly as possible and get back to him. I was enraged that they’d done this to him and to billions just like him.
“Tenga was all I thought about the entire time,” I croaked. “And I…I was willing to kill everyone onboard to get back to him, even if there was no way I ever could. I… did things I could never have imagined myself doing even just days ago. I tore a chunk out of my leg just to be able to get to the Krakotl pinning me down with a crowbar.” I inhaled deeply, staring down at my reflection in the water, recalling my bloodshot eyes in the reflection of the ship's monitor. The grimly colorful bloodstains in my fur from several different species.
Rayner nodded. “It was a desperate situation. Many don’t see themselves doing things like that until they’re put in a situation where it's necessary. A situation where it's do or die. No one can fault you for that, especially not with all that depended on you.”
“I guess I just…It’s just worrying knowing that there’s a part of me capable of that.”
The doctor tapped his pen on his notepad as he seemed to think for a moment. “Do you worry that you may have violent outbursts?”
I scoffed. “Well, the events of a few days ago provided good grounds for worry.”
Rayner nodded. “Aggression is common for PTSD victims. It can be difficult to manage intense emotions when your mind is already dealing with so much.
I shook my head. “That’s not the person I want to be.”
Rayner nodded. “I know Vikri. That’s why it's so crucial for you to talk about this stuff. The less all of this weighs on you, the better you’ll be able to control those emotions when they arise.”
He finished writing on his notepad before taking off his glasses and leaning forward slightly. “So what happened to Tenga?”
The question made my heart sink. My mind went quiet. The second hand of time sounded like the footsteps of a giant marching toward…something. My body seemed to go cold and numb. “He died…” I croaked, staring down at the table. That was the first time I’d admitted that to myself verbally in such a direct way. “And I tried so hard,” I choked, tears now streaming down my face. “I did everything in my power to save him. I even put Querek’s life in danger.”
I felt the heat. I could feel cold water dripping from my paws as the burning ship melted the frost accumulating in my fur. I remembered the terrifying hopelessness that gripped me as I gripped Querek and pushed him into the snow. He tried to sacrifice himself for Tenga. What if I had let him? Would it have even worked? Could Tenga accept that?
I recalled the story to Rayner, battling to keep my composure. “I…I watched him die,” I choked. “And I was furious. Reese had to pull me off of him. I wanted to do…something, anything, but…he told them not to bring him back. I think he…” I winced at the thought of him considering this. “I think he’d rather have died sacrificing himself over…going rabid.”
Silence perforated the room for what felt like several long minutes. Rayner sat with his legs crossed, his hand propped up against his mouth. He seemed to become lost in thought for a moment before speaking. “I know how that guilt feels,” he admitted quietly.
I looked at him, somewhat surprised. “You do?”
Rayner nodded, rubbing his hands together. “My son,” he said plainly, taking a long pause before he continued. “He and Jesse were very close as kids. Practically brothers.” He tapped on his clipboard with his pen. “I was…not so available in those days. I was a very different man than I am now. I was still in school. I was always busy, always stressed. I hadn't even considered becoming a therapist. I was deadset on becoming a neurosurgeon.” He scoffed at himself, his head gently shaking back and forth as his gaze grew distant. His delivery lacked that matter-of-fact candor I was so used to by now. He was much quieter; less animated. His eye contact was sporadic and he never stopped fidgeting with his pen. Everything about him seemed suddenly mired in an emotion that was difficult to read. That was when I saw everything we'd done over the past few days for what it really was. Rayner wasn't invincible. He never claimed to be. He was hurt; I could hear it in his voice. He wasn't a person reaching down into the mud and yanking me out by the nape of the neck. He was man covered in mud himself. He wasn't an untouchable hero. Merely a guide.
He continued as that realization struck me. “I loved him as much as a father could. But I was so busy that…well I wasn't there as much as I'd like to have been. That put a big strain on our relationship.” He removed his glasses and wiped the lenses a few times before he continued. “One night we got into an argument. He’d just gotten his license. He had an old beat-up car I'd bought him for his birthday,” he chuffed. “A teen’s first car is always…eccentric. Thought it was a great deal at the time.” He sighed and nodded slightly before continuing. “He left the house enraged, speeding down the road. After a few miles, he lost control, swerved off the road, and hit a tree head-on. The airbag never deployed. The car crumpled like a soda can.”
I stared at him, speechless as he concluded in a near-whisper. “He was declared dead at the scene.”
The room felt hollow for a few long seconds. I searched for a reply but couldn't fathom the right words to say. Fortunately, Rayner didn't stay silent for long. “Like you, I blamed myself for a long…long time.” He sighed. “And it nearly destroyed me.”
I stared at the floor, fidgeting with my tail. “How did you…overcome that?”
“Well it didn't happen overnight,” he replied, flashing a brief smile. “It takes time but, at some point, you have to carry on living. You have to continue loving.” His eyes creased slightly as he looked down at his own hands. “You have to keep loving,” he repeated in a low whisper.
Loud silence claimed the room again as his words sank in. He was right. It was either accept what happened or live like this forever. Looking at it that pragmatically, the choice seemed easy. Emotions are never so logical though. It wasn’t as if he relieved himself of that burden either, it was obvious he still carried it. It just…didn’t weigh as much now. Not because it got lighter, but because he got stronger. I eased into speaking again. “I…I'm sorry. About your son.”
Rayner nodded. “I'm sorry about your friend.”
We both stewed in silence for a minute before Rayner spoke up. “We’ll send you home today.”
“You…really think I’m ready?”
Rayner nodded slowly. “I think so. The medication seems to be working, you haven’t had any breakdowns since you’ve been here. You’ve gotten much better at discussing these things. I think you’re equipped to face this now.”
“...I’m afraid,” I croaked.
“Of what?” Rayner asked, leaning forward
“Of…seeing Lucky again. I'm doubting whether I even should. I was never prepared to be her master. I’m just a danger to her.”
“Vikri,” Rayner exhaled and leaned forward. “You made a mistake. We all do. But you have a responsibility to her. You should at least see her and face that mistake, or you’ll never have closure. What you decide after that is your choice, but I don’t think it’ll be as bad as you think.”
“I hope so,” I sighed.
Rayner clicked his pen and set his notepad aside. “We’ve made you some medication to take home, same stuff you've been taking. The plan is to keep lowering the dosage until you’re sleeping without it. We’ve made you some sheets with all the daily doses on them and when to take each one. It’s enough to last you two weeks, then once they’re out, you’ll come back here for another session, then if you need it, we’ll get you more and keep weaning you off them.”
He leaned forward, emphasizing his next words. “And I cannot recommend enough that you go to Jesse’s support group in between our meetings. Those will help you tremendously, I’m sure of it.”
I nodded. “I have his number. I’ll…I’ll give it a shot.”
“You won't regret it,” Rayner assured me. “Jesse was in the same chair as you not too long ago for similar reasons. He has knowledge from first-hand experience. I can vouch for him, he’s a great guy.” He inhaled. “Well, is there anything else Vikri? We won’t be seeing each other again for a while, so if there’s anything else, now’s the time to talk about it.”
I thought for a second. We’d covered almost everything. I’d never discussed those days in so much detail. It felt like being submerged in icy water. It was miserable at first, but over time it became easier, even comfortable. I’d relived so much pain over the last three days, but here at the end of the whole story, It felt less like a nightmare, and more like reality. “No, I don’t think so,” I finally replied.
“Then I’ll clear you to go home. Andrea is here, she’ll give you a ride, I’m sure. Here.” He reached over and handed me a small business card. “That has all my contact information on it. I’m usually here in my office until late at night, so feel free to call if you need anything. If the sedative gives you any issues at all, any side effects, make sure to call and let me know. We followed the recipe to a tee, but it’s wise to be cautious.”
A familiar silence flooded the room as Rayner and I seemed to, for the first time, have nothing left to say. Finally, the doctor spoke. “See you in two weeks, Vikri.”
///////////////////////////////
Golden strands of light danced between the digits of my paw as I moved it in front of the brilliant summer sun. An intense beacon of warmth floating in a sky as blue as Earth’s oceans. The rumble of Andy’s car occupied the air as we cruised down the highway. Vivri was sound asleep in the backseat. The gentle white noise and vibration seemed to knock her out cold. I watched the sunrays dance as I waved my paw in front of me, before turning it around. Several spots on my paw still had obvious scars. I even still had burn scars from the electrical systems aboard the crumbling Cardinal.
I curled my paw closed into a fist and rested my head against it, watching the lush, green mountains pass by in the distance. After three days I was set loose into the world once again, hopefully better armed than I was before. Even after all the weight I doffed from my shoulders in Rayner’s office, a crushing mass still rested on my chest. Lucky.
The weight only became heavier as the car slowed, and rounded a corner into the parking lot of a large animal hospital. Andy gently brought the car to a stop in a parking space in front of the entrance. Occasionally people would walk in and out with their pets, many of which were dogs on leashes.
Vivri stirred awake after we stopped. “Oh…We’re here,” she muttered nervously. “There’s…a lot more animals here than I was expecting.”
Andy chuckled. “It’s an animal hospital girl, there’s gonna be all kinds of critters here.”
I turned around to face her. “You don’t have to go in there. You and Andy can wait here.”
Andy scoffed. “You might wanna tell Rayner they screwed up those meds, ‘cause you’re delusional if you think I’m letting you go in there by yourself.”
“Well I don’t want her to be alone out here,” I argued.
“I’ll go in, just…stay close, please?” Vivri interjected.
I looked back at her, ears tilted. She was dead serious. I sighed and shook my head. “This is gonna be a disaster,” I groaned.
Andy opened her door. “I’ll wait with her in the lobby, you go talk to the vets. It’ll be fine.”
I looked back at Vivri one last time as Andy stepped out. “Alright, just stay away from the cats.” I opened my door and began stepping out into the summer air.
“C-cats?”
“Small felines. They're demons with mind control,” I replied just before closing the door.
Vivri scrambled out of the car and followed right on my heels. “Well don’t just leave me!” she squeaked.
I laughed. “I’m kidding. Well, mostly.”
Walking into the building, I realized that Lucky had been in a very similar place as me over the past three days. The lobby felt eerily similar to the one at the medical center. Everything went silent as Vivri and I walked in. Immediately I could feel dozens of eyes on us. Vivri hid close behind me as Andy gestured for me to follow her to the desk.
I doubted any of the humans there meant any harm, but dozens of binocular eyes snapping onto her in an instant had Vivri more unsettled than she already was. It didn’t help that several dogs were either on leashes or in carriers in the lobby, which were no doubt just as curious. I grabbed Viv’s paw. “They don't see many Venlil,” I whispered. “Just ignore them.”
I approached the desk with Vivri still hiding behind me. “E-excuse me?” I stuttered. The woman at the desk looked up, clearly caught off guard by two venlil standing before her. “O-oh! Excuse me, you must be Lucky’s owner, right?”
“Yeah. Vikri.” I could feel Vivri shivering behind me.
“I’ll let Doctor Gavin know you’re here.”
“Thanks,” I muttered before turning to Vivri. “Are you sure about this?” I whispered.
“Of course! It’s just for a few minutes, right?” Her body language gave an entirely different answer. She seemed like she might faint at any moment.
I looked up at Andy. “Keep her close, would you?”
Andy wrapped her arms over Viv’s shoulders. “Of course. I’ll keep little Vivi safe from all the big, bad puppy dogs and mean kitties,” she said in baby speak, twisting her side to side. She giggled. “We’ll be fine.” Her tone suddenly shifted as she locked eyes with me. “Will you?”
I stood there in silence for a moment. This entire time my heart felt unbearably heavy. Standing there, I felt nauseous. So much so that I made it a point to know exactly where the bathroom was when I walked in. The weight on my chest made breathing a laborious task. I heaved in a deep breath. “I don’t know,” I admitted. “I don’t know what’s going to happen in there but…I have to do this. For both of us.”
Andy exhaled and nodded, seemingly just as nervous for me. Right on cue, the door at the back of the room opened with a heavy click. “Vikri?” a male voice called out. An older gentleman in burgundy scrubs surveyed the room. It didn’t take long for him to find me. He nodded toward me as he adjusted his glasses. “Right this way, please.”
“We’ll be right here,” Andy whispered, her hands still resting around Viv’s shoulders, who agreed with a tail flick.
I nodded and walked toward the man, leaving the cozy waiting room behind, and entering a long, sterile hallway. The doctor’s shoes clicked against the tile as he walked just in front of me. The weight bearing down on my chest only got heavier with each step. After a few agonizing seconds, the man finally spoke up as he stopped outside a door. “I’m Doctor Gavin,” he said breathily, extending a hand. “I performed Lucky’s surgery.”
I took his hand with my paw, which he could no doubt tell was trembling by this point. “Vikri,” I choked. “S-so…How is she?”
“She’s good,” Gavin answered in a higher pitch. “She’s recovering remarkably fast. Really lived up to her name.” He opened the door and stepped through into a kennel area as he continued. “The bullet hit one of her ribs and shattered. A couple of fragments pierced her lung, one of them was just inches from her heart. There’re still a few very small ones lodged in her tissue, but we’d be doing more harm than good by trying to remove them. They shouldn’t cause any issues and come out on their own after some time, but we’ll keep track of them with x-rays.”
As he spoke we passed by kennels, some empty, some with dogs that barked or jumped up on the cage as we passed. I scoured each one for Lucky, my dread building with each one we passed. Suddenly, the doctor stopped in front of me. He inhaled deeply. “I should mention…Given the…circumstances of how she got these injuries, me and some staff will stay with you just in case she becomes aggressive. That’s not to say that I think she will,” he added hastily, “she’s been great with everyone here but…you know, just to be safe.”
“I get it,” I breathed. It made sense. If Lucky attacked me, it would be far more deadly than it would be for a human. And I was confident even a human wouldn’t last long against a half-wolf her size. Fittingly, a group of four humans were gathered at the end of the hallway, catchers in hand.
Time seemed to slow as I approached the pen. The staff members all looked over at me with the same anxious expression. I felt like a prisoner walking toward my judgment, and that perhaps it was me that belonged behind these cages. I swallowed and took a long, slow breath as Gavin opened the gate. He walked in ahead of me. “Hey there big girl,” he said in a chipper tone. I heard the familiar thumping of Lucky’s tail against the floor. Gavin chuckled to himself as the remaining four staff calmly and quietly filed into the pen. Once they were all inside, the final human leaned around the corner, looked me in the eyes for a long second, and nodded once.
A new reality awaited around that corner. My sentence was about to be read. It felt so cripplingly helpless; wanting so desperately to finally be reunited with my best friend, yet trembling at the thought of rounding a corner to run face-first into the consequences of my actions. I steeled myself one last time. I nodded back at the catcher and took slow, deliberate steps toward him. I finally rounded the corner, and for the first time since the incident, I saw Lucky.
She lay on a large, fabric bed, with food and water bowls close by. Her right front leg was bound in a cast, tied up close to her body. A large patch of fur had been shaved away around her chest and halfway up her neck. She seemed thinner than I remembered. It reminded me of the scared, hungry pup I’d met so long ago.
Her eyes tracked onto mine instantly, and I felt an ache that defied all imagination. The same gaze that would send almost any other Venlil scrambling down the hallway instead gripped some inner part of me in a cold, numb stasis. I couldn’t move. Part of me wanted to run to her and spill out how sorry I was. Another wanted to curl up on the floor right there and sob, returning to that familiar numbness that seemed akin to the ancient enemy of life itself. The cold. That bitterness that pierced through fur, through flesh, through bones, and any ideal held by the naive child that sat next to Tenga’s corpse that day. It ran through until there was nothing left.
Then, I felt a warmth as if someone had draped a blanket over me. I gripped my poncho around my shoulders, grabbing it tightly. I made a quiet promise to myself there and then. Not a promise to my sister, or my parents, or Andrea. Me. I wouldn’t lie down in the cold. Never again. One more hill.
“Hey Lucky,” I said, my voice coarse and breaking every syllable.
The silence was abruptly broken as Lucky, though seemingly frail, shot to her feet. Everyone in the room shifted, prepared for the worst. I didn’t dare move, but I could feel my heart pounding in my legs, my body preparing to bolt. The staff watched her carefully, their grip slightly tightened around their polls. Lucky made no sounds, only stared at me, her nostrils flaring as she gathered my scent. Her right front leg was useless, immobilized against her body. She shifted her footing to steady herself. Then I saw something that replaced fear with tears. She was shaking like a leaf, never taking her eyes off me. She could care less about the others. She was scared. Of me.
I felt myself fall off a ledge in a sensation I’d become all too familiar with over the last few weeks. Tears streamed down my face, my breath hitching as I brought my paws up to my face. I fell to my knees, the presence of the staff had become irrelevant. “I’m…I’m sorry,” I exhaled between gasps. “I’m so sorry.”
So there it was. My new reality. It wasn’t what I’d hoped for, but it was what I expected. I didn’t know what I’d do then, and I didn’t know now. Could I go on without Lucky? She was the one fortress in the turbulent seas of my broken mind. She was the one I could always count on. The one that I knew would always be there, no matter what. Now I was convinced she was terrified of me.
I sat there a shattered mess for a long moment, tumbling off that cliff and reaching out for anything to catch myself, but found nothing but jagged stones. I felt a hand on my shoulder, Doctor Gavin attempting to comfort me, I assumed. Until I felt something touch my knee. I looked up, thrown out of the spiral abruptly. Lucky was now just in front of me, licking my leg. I froze, confused. She gently laid down, careful of her bandaged leg as she rested her head on my leg, looking up at me. That was the same leg she’d broken months ago. Finally, I got it. “I hurt you, and you still loved me.”
A wave of relief rushed through me and I looked down at her, eyes glossy with tears. I bent down and rested my head against hers. I laughed, though it sounded more like a sob. For the first time in days, I felt whole again.
Lucky still loved me.
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So to premise this story I’m from a small town in the PNW where Karen’s aren’t very far and in between. This also isn’t the first Karen experience I had at this same store. Names changed for identity privacy. What I want to know was I rude for my comments?
I (F22) and my boyfriend (M20) we’ll call him Bob, was spending the day with my boyfriend’s uncle (Mark). As Bob had recently moved back to our state very shortly before we met, we both wanted to spend time with his family. Mark had to go see his ex wife while in town, so we decided to go walk across the street to our local Safeway and visit my mom. It was really nice considering I don’t get to see her very often since I moved to the next town over, and we had conflicting work schedules.
When we left the store we decided to kinda just hang out on the sidewalk outside the front of the store while we waited for Mark to come pick us up.
In enters Karen.
Karen walks by Bob and I eating a Dairy Queen blizzard. Being the random social people my boyfriend and I tend to be we asked her what flavor of blizzard it was. She stopped for a second and just gave us a dirty look, then walked in the store. Turning to my boyfriend I said something along the lines of saying “she seemed grumpy” and “someone musta shit in her cheerios. She’s having a bad day.” We didn’t think we said it too loud but we kinda just laughed to each other and just kept hanging out. Karen with her ultrasonic ears must’ve heard us and she came out screaming.
“WHAT THE F**CK DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?!”
At this point when we stand up she’s right in my face. Bewildered as hell I said “we just asked about the flavor of your blizzard. I make weird small talk. It seemed like you had a bad fucking day and we talked about it to each other. You do not need to get up in my face.” She continues to scream demanding I needed to get out of her space. I explained that she, came up to me and we were waiting for family to get us. She then proceeded to start throwing insults in my face calling me every name in the book. A fat btch. An ugly cnt, just to name a few of the mellow ones. And when she started to talk shit about MY Bob. I told her to back the f*ck up and leave us alone. I can handle being yelled at but I don’t appreciate my partner getting berated.
That’s when it happened. She SPIT her nasty orange phlegmy spit ALL over my neck, mouth, and chest.
All Hell broke loose.
I am a 6ft tall, 200 and some pound woman at the time and I do not like to engage in physical altercations but my blood was boiling. It took everything in my power not to take that blizzard and dump it on her. I said something about her being a real Karen and kinda a btch and someone really must have sht in her cheerios this morning. She proceeded to call me a C U Next Tuesday and walk into the store.
Dumbfounded by what happened I walk to my mom’s manage my ex boss while wiping the spit off my chest and face and explain the whole situation. He seemed a little shocked about the situation. I mean so was I. I got SPIT ON.
He asked me what I wanted to do. Thinking back on it, I could’ve had her charged with assault but being horrible with confrontation and just getting over spending the first two months of my relationship with mono and going to the ER I didn’t want the next few months dealing with a police report. She got kicked out of the store instead and she got banned for harassment. I just went and told my mom about it.
Hearing from my friend later who works there as well Karen left, but not before claiming I had been the one to spit on her, not her spitting on ME. The Manager let her know he saw the spit on me and will be checking the cameras to see what happened. She was flabbergasted saying she’s going to sue the store for not banning me for being rude and bothering her nice day.
I cleaned myself up and enjoyed the rest of my day unbothered. Although I did take two showers that night, I do still wonder what flavor that blizzard was. AITA for asking about her blizzard flavor and the cheerios comment?

Okay. I love Star Wars, I love the sequels, however, I’d like to stretch my brain muscles and think of a rewrite. This is not a “They should have adapted Heir to the Empire”, nor an attack on Disney. This is merely an in hindsight rewrite. What aspects of the new canon could have been implemented to make a more solid and cohesive story? I will use the current story as a baseline, so here goes, The Force Awakens:
I’ll keep the title, mainly because I can’t think of an alternative, lazy, but I figured maybe you guys could think of one.
Opening Scrawl: Mostly the same, just remove “the last Jedi” and mention that the Republic is supporting Leia’s resistance.
The opening can be mostly the same, but instead of some random guy, have the old contact be Han, have him be the contact who tracked down someone special, R2 frozen like the original movie. Inside R2 are the last known coordinates to Luke.
Hotshot pilot Poe Dameron (who is much younger) eagerly takes the droid, when suddenly, the village is attacked by new troopers. Also, a return of battle droids to bolster their forces. Led by a masked man, who Poe shoots at, and when the beam is frozen, Han exclaims “You can’t be a Jedi?” To which Kylo Ren replies “Not anymore” and captures the two rebels and R2.
BB-8 escapes to the established rendezvous spot to try and get help. Meanwhile, Finn’s escape happens in the usual manner, but this time the three of them try and steal a shuttle, not a TIE fighter. A few hijinks occur and as they fly off, the ship is hit and the three escapees launch escape pods and land on separate parts of the planet (which is mostly mountainous, not a desert). R2 is in the possession of the First Order. Finn takes this chance to escape and rushes to the nearest port.
In space, Hux appears and berates his men, who say the traitor won’t escape them. A screen blinking as Finn moves to a space port.
Cut to a run down town nearby, where a stranger is hanging around, some people giving him a strange glance. An alien approaches “New Republic folk aren’t welcome here, the Coalition of Planets earned their independence from you dogs.” To which the older one, a man with green hair, replies “Sorry, we aren’t exactly on the best terms with the Republic either.” And we see a flash of something on his holster.
A commotion is heard, a woman’s voice calls. The man rushes to the Pantoran’s aid as they try and wrestle BB-8 from junk dealers. “You don’t need this droid.” The man waves his hand and the dealer hands them the droid, going along his way.
“You need to be more careful Rey, I know you’re anxious, but we have to have patience.”
“I know, Master Jacen, but rumours of attacks, and now BB-8 being all alone, it can’t be good for Dameron.”
The two then freeze and sense something, darkness, but also familiar. They rush towards it and find themselves at a space port, where a fight has broken out, Troopers and battle droids, have surrounded a “Traitor” as one yells out, brandishing electrostaffs. Without hesitation, Jacen ignites a blue lightsaber and duels a Trooper, Rey following suit with her green saber.
Finn cowers, but when tossed a staff from Jacen, he defends himself with temporary courage. Finn notices BB-8, and tries to explain the situation with Poe, but the group is attacked by a ship and they take off in a generic ship (not the falcon). A small dog fight occurs, then some exposition.
Jacen was Luke’s first true apprentice and Rey is…well, she’s Jacen’s apprentice, basically a sister. They explain that, after the last great battle with the Imperial remnant (the equivalent to “You fought in the Clone Wars?”, just this time the Mando-Verse), the Republic lost its standing and many planets left for their independence, becoming a loose collection of like minded groups (like how Nevarro is doing), called the Coalition of Planets. Protecting each other from pirates and gangster influence.
Bound by dwindling Republic bureaucracy, corruption from within (as seen in Mandalorian), as well as having her lineage revealed (Bloodline) Leia split off from the New Republic and did the same as the new Jedi Order, help anyone in need, regardless of red tape. Establishing a Resistance against galactic corruption. Or just Resistance.
Luke disappeared 3 years ago, supposedly looking for the ancient homeworld of the Jedi. But only R2 would know his location.
Finn is overwhelmed, revealing some backstory, he never knew his family, he lived and trained for the First Order, “but seeing combat…I can’t do it.”
A message comes through, Poe and Han are alive and well and want to arrange a meet up at “her place”, outside First Order eyes. Jacen says “Sorry Finn, looks like you’re stuck with us a little longer.” And they zoom away.
Meanwhile, throughout this whole thing, we cut back to a modest fleet of ships, led by Hux, who tolerates the presence of Kylo Ren. All the while, the latter is attempting to unlock R2. “You’ll never get it to open, even with your magic…maybe try your brute strength.” Kylo force grabs Hux, soldiers living and droid aim their blasters at him. “The last known location is hidden in this droid, Luke Skywalker is the only one who can threaten the Supreme Leader’s power.” He puts Hux down.
They wrongly believe there is a key of sorts amongst the escapees and they follow “him” to find it.
The heroes land at Maz’s place, and Finn amazed with the diverse aliens, “I’ve only been around humans, General Hux is very serious about that”. The group introduce themselves to Maz, who gets all mystic about the 3 of them.
Jacen should not fear living up to his parents’ legacy, Rey should be more confident in who she is and Finn should find something to do with his life rather than run. He says that “You can’t fight the First Order.” And tries to leave, but not before Maz discovers a homing beacon imbedded into Finn’s neck.
The First Order attacks and Finn, begins to run as the Jedi fight off the squad of Droids. Then, he runs into Kylo Ren. “Seems Hux’s failure paid off…now where is the key?” Petrified, Finn is left at the hands of Kylo Ren, until blaster fire can be heard, and the Calvary arrives.
Poe and Black Squadron, led by the Millenium Falcon defeat the First Order soldiers and droids and as Kylo follows the Falcon closely, Finn pulls a blaster out and without looking, Kylo rips it from his hands “Foolish trooper, how simple minded.” He then freezes Finn and surrounded by battle droids, he takes him back for interrogation.
However, as everyone reunites with Han, Leia and Poe, Rey realises Finn was still missing. Sensing a dark, yet familiar, presence, Leia points to their location “Han, it’s him, he’s alive!” At these words, Han and Jacen rush to save Finn. Han takes out the droids and Jacen has a duel with Kylo. The two are relatively matched, but after Han and Finn escape, Jacen feigns defeat and is taken instead.
Whilst everyone is worried (including red-armed Threepio) Maz reassures them that they need not worry, holding a tracker. Revealing that in the battle, she gave it to Jacen as a “Surprise they wouldn’t expect.” With it the group head back to Resistance headquarters.
Finn and Han bond, the latter explaining how he knows all too well about fleeing an institution and just wanting a life of adventure (Solo). But that “You can’t live like that, one day, you have to make a choice.”
Meanwhile, Leia and Rey discuss how the Jedi’s ranks barely reach 100 and how thin they have been spread. “And without Jacen, who can rally them? Leia, it may be time you came back to the Order-“ “No, I can’t, you know that…you also know that they’d listen to you.” But Rey shakes her head, “No, I’m not worthy, especially since causing my mother and…and his death.”
Leia then sighs and says solemnly “He’s alive, Rey, my son is alive.”
Elsewhere, Jacen and Kylo confront each other a back and forth, one taunting the other about their heritage. Then finally “You were always one step behind me, is that why you turned? Power? Huh, Ben!?”
Ben removes his helmet. “You have no idea what I have seen these last 3 years…the Supreme Leader is my master, I am Ben Solo no more.” His eyes well up, just for a second.
Kylo then enters the ships bridge and undermines the staff, much to Hux’s dismay. Kylo calls up Supreme Leader Snoke, they discuss how they found the tracker and destroys it, but reveals that Jacen knows nothing of how to awaken R2. Snoke reassures him that he no longer fears Skywalker and Kylo asks if that means“The Weapon” is ready.
Snoke says no, but soon, however he feels the conflict within Kylo and remarks “Has the Light corrupted you? Your grandfather would be ashamed.” As the call ends, Hux smirks at Kylo’s expense and the masked man returns to his chamber (feel the pull to the light, etc. Vader’s helmet).
Arriving at the Resistance base, they discuss how the tracker went silent, but they managed to get a lock on a transmission in the general area and believe it’s the First Order fleet. They plan an attack. Poe will lead Black squadron and Wedge will lead Rogue Squadron to distract the fighters. The Falcon will fly to Hux’s Star Destroyer and infiltrate.
Poe wishes Finn luck as the former excitedly goes to his ship. Leia and Han say their goodbyes and Rey gets nervous, having failed to contact the Jedi.
The attack begins, they notice the fleet is less impressive at a glance, two run down Star Destroyers and a single pristine one. Either way, they fight through the fighters and the Falcon crashes into the hanger. They fight and Han asked where Jacen and Finn says “I’ve never been on General Hux’s ship, Can’t we just follow the Force, create a map or something” “THAT’S NOT HOW THE FORCE WORKS!!”
Rey looks around and focuses, noting a dark presence above them. “It’s him, Ben will want to keep an eye on Jacen.” They run to save him. Meanwhile, a battered and bruised Jacen uses the Mind trick to escape in the confusing, but fears not having his saber.
As Hux looks at one of the Star Destroyers being defeated, he sweats. “Where are those reinforcements, we’re are not ready for a full scale battle.” But Kylo ignores him, feeling a presence.
The group manage to reunite with Jacen, who notes that R2 is still on the ship. Before they can devise a plan, R2 comes crashing towards them. “The Supreme Leader has recanted the search for Skywalker, for his weapon is nearing completion.” Kylo is holding Jacen’s Saber.
You then have the scene, just not over an endless pit, Han is killed, Chewie knocks Kylo back with his Bow caster. But this time Jacen pulls the saber from the air and has to remind them to grieve later and run, the ship is falling apart.
Hux evacuates and swears Kylo’s name, for ruining 3 ships. But as we cut to Poe celebrating like an idiot, a fleet much more impressive jumps in, a voice over all channels speaks in Hutteese calls out. Rotta the Hutt, Jabba’s son has come to Hux’s aid. The Hutt’s Second Order, attacks en masse.
The Star Destroyer begins to collapse, and as they reach the Falcon, Kylo flings debris at the ship. With Jacen too weak to fight, Rey finds the courage to confront Kylo. They duel and even with his weakened state, Kylo easily overpowers her, Rey’s only ally is jumping through the debris. Of course there is taunting.
“You fight good for a fraud.”
“I’m no fraud, I’m a Jedi, like my mother and my…father.”
“You can’t even admit you’re nothing like him, you are weak Rey and undeserving of his name. Unlike me, you have no ties to his legacy.”
“Shut up!”
“You are nothing but an orphan pitied on by your so-called ‘father’.”
“I said shut up!!”
“You will never be worthy of the name SKYWALKER!!”
(Yes, he is projecting)
Rey lunges at him, but even her anger isn’t enough, only managing to scar his face. Jacen and Chewie start up the Falcon, but debris is blocking the way and Jacen can’t focus, they need Rey to move it. He begs Finn to go help.
“But I don’t have a weapon!”
“Yes you do!”
Jacen hands him his Saber and Finn rushes in and attacks, but is defeated all the same, but this has given Rey enough time to throw the debris at her cousin and save a comatose Finn.
The small group of Fighters prepare to fly off, Poe still eager to fight the Hutt’s fleet, but stopped by Wedge.
Now for the ending.
Leia, Rey and Chewie mourn Han’s death, Jacen and Finn are taken into intensive care and the Resistance calls for its remaining forces across the Outer Rim for aid.
Leia takes a look at R2 and brings Threepio over, who is sad his friend is frozen and unmoving, but at hearing Threepio’s voice, R2 awakes noting that he’d only awake at his best friend’s voice. Transmitting the coordinates to a mysterious part of the galaxy, to the planet Acht-To, Rey takes the Falcon to reunite with her father.
On the bridge of Rotta’s ship, Hux is reprimanded by the former gangster, much to Hux’s embarrassment. Though he does cheer up at the knowledge that the oh so powerful apprentice of the Supreme Leader was defeated and licking his wounds. And with the knowledge that the weapon is nearing completion, he looks on in awe when they jump from hyperspace. As Starkiller base comes into view.
Arriving at Acht-To, Rey climbs the shore up the mountains, until she meets with a hooded figure, looking over a makeshift grave. He turns and the two merely look at each other and the camera pans out.
Credits.
Few. That took longer than expected. As you can see I made some changes, having the Jedi be around, just with significantly smaller stature.
The First Order isn’t a pointless name, it’s merely a wing of a greater organisation apposing the current regime, a Rebel Alliance, if you will.
I made Rey a Pantoran, because we needed more aliens and it’s part of a larger reference. Star Wars is all about family and that’s the main focus I want to aim for, this is a new generation wanting to either prove themselves to the previous generation, or surpass it.
But instead of having a traditional family via blood, I’d have it be that Luke’s child, is adopted. Show the struggles an adopted child would face if brought into a famous family. But also, it’s honouring George, who played a Pantoran in Revenge of the Sith, alongside his daughters and have this new character a young Jedi, like George’s son was in RotS.
All of whom were adopted, but they are all still Lucas’ the same as George. I think that is a nice connection and honour Star Wars’ creator.
Also, yes, I will eventually reveal that Jacen is Jacen Syndulla. Have Rebels be a companion piece that reveals his origin. Also, I leave the other Jedi’s identities open ended. Is there Ahsoka? Ezra? Cal? Maybe even Omega? Ooh, who knows, I smell (profit!) spin off material!
Anyway, let me know what you thought and I’ll get to The Last Jedi, eventually. And a reminder, what should the title be for my version of Episode 7? Not sure The Force Awakens works anymore.

I’ve been seeing a woman as a FWB for a few months and we were friends first. She was seeing a FWB before me but that finished having benefits and they don’t talk as much. I’ve been her only FWB for a few months and I enjoy hanging out, s3x and texting at night with her.
She has started seeing another guy as a FWB and I’m fine with that except she doesn’t text me as much at night. She doesn’t ask so many questions and texts’ are shorter. I’m guessing she’s texting him. I know that she’s going to have to share time but I guess I got use to her texting me and having her attention.
How do I not dwell on this? I’ve been trying to do other things at night so I don’t think about it but I find it hard to concentrate. I think I’ve got use to having her there and I probably got some feelings. I know that she’s excited about the new guy so no doubt wanting to text and she’s texting me to just maintain our relationship. I know I should be happy she’s still coming over for s3x and hanging out but I did like talking to her at night.

This is gonna be a long one because I have so much shit to say and keeping it all in makes me wanna hurt myself. I don't even know how to lay this all but here it goes. I'm in love with a married woman that has told me she loves me too, but I fear is just using me for sex and attention due to her marital issues.
Me and C (25F) met at work around 9 months and she was actually my boss before I left the job. I had just started working again after suffering from long covid, and even now am not completely better and mainly deal with the neuro-psychiatric symptoms such as bouts of psychosis, anhedonia, severe depression, night terrors, tinnitus, genital numbness and loss of libido, aphantasia, etc. Prior to this I had already been diagnosed with bipolar, ADHD, and mild autism, but was able to manage these things throughout my life with a healthy lifestyle. By the time I met her though, I was not and still am not stable in the slightest, and you'll realize why this is important.
When I first arrived back at work I immediately met C (25F) as she was the new director at the daycare I had gotten rehired at after being away for many months due to school, and she was the one who rehired me. I thought she was nice at first and acknowledged that she was attractive, but that was the extent of my thoughts on her. She's a married woman with 3 kids. My sickness and mental issues could not fathom the idea of dating, much less initiating anything with a married woman, which is something I wouldn't even fathom to do prior to my sickness. At this point I had spent the previous 6 months or so in isolation, away from my friends, having left school, and fighting to not kill myself everyday because of how bad my condition felt. So yeah, dating and people in general wasn't really something I cared to do.
Anyways, as I started working more I realized how much I'd changed since pre-covid me and how difficult things were now. I'd get fatigued easily, have mental fog, and the worst of it was panic attacks from the over-stimulation working around kids. My coworkers would get annoyed at me and my mistakes, as I didn't tell anyone about my condition outside of that I'd gotten very sick in the past, so me and them would argue and get into it. It felt like hell going to work so one night I flat out tried to quit and told the manager there I couldn't do it anymore and was leaving. She called C who showed up and pulled me aside to talk outside. I then proceeded to break down and explained to her every last detail of my condition and all of what I was experiencing, without holding anything back. Instead of agreeing that I was unfit to work however, she actually listened for a long time and offered input that was actually helpful. She told me she could start scheduling me more with her, and that way if I got overwhelmed at work she understands my situation and could give me some leeway, not expect so much of me. I appreciated that a lot and agreed to stay on as long as she didn't expect me to be great or anything.
From there on out, me and C became close friends. She started texting me more right after that night, and we started working a lot more together. We talked a lot and she made me feel comfortable, but she also flirted a fuckton even before I opened up to her about my issues. Well, I thought that's something she'd stop after I told her about my broken dick and slew of other issues that could warrant me being put in a mental asylum, but she didn't. She just picked it up even more. I also thought for a while she was bored and wanted to play around with me since I clearly wasn't looking to get into anything, so eventually I just started returning the energy and flirting back. Fuck it is what I said to myself.
Well, after work one night I was walking her to her car and gave her a hug goodbye, and this is when she leaned into kiss me. This was 5 months ago. It actually felt really good because I hadn't been with a girl since my ex before I got sick, a good 8 or 9 months prior to this happening, but I was also like what the fuck. I questioned her on it and was like hey don't you have a husband and she was like yeah but I needed to kiss you idk why. I was like ok I won't tell anyone but yeah lets just chill and not do all that yk. Well it obviously didn't stop there because she started texting me even more and we ended up kissing again, and again, and again. I felt guilty everytime but I couldn't help myself. I presented the most broken version of myself to her and somehow she was still attracted and made me feel comfortable which is something I'd been missing. No one in my life validated my illness or showed me the slightest of empathy except for her. So safe to say she reeled me in with my own vulnerability, as I know a healthy version of myself wouldn't have allowed this to go on. I started thinking about her constantly and couldn't stop obsessing.
The guilt of it happening ate up at me, but the fear of me getting attached to someone whos married and could never reciprocate what I wanted and needed from a partner ate up at me even more. I wanted to break the attachment, so at the end of February I quit the job and said i was moving onto another gig. After this me and C didn't contact each other for sometime, but she called me after a week asking to hang out. If I'm being honest, I'd been missing her badly that whole week and straight up felt like a drug addict going through withdrawal. I couldn't help myself and agreed. From there, i started going over to her place while her husband would work overnight to have sex and chill. My dick was starting work more at this point, and even though I couldn't feel much pleasure there i could get erect again, so I took advantage with her. She's told me she loves me and acts cool and all but the mental stress of this is causing me is crazy. Like I'm actually thinking so irrationally I don't know what to do.
At first I was cool with going with the flow but now I hate being the side nigga. I'm jealous of her husband and hate that she has to contact me in secrecy. I hate that i can only see her at night after dark. I hate that she tells me she loves but I don't really believe her. I hate that she told me shes getting a divorce after explaining to me all her marital issues and I don't believe her. I hate that I don't really trust anything she says because she's cheating on her husband. I hate that I got so attached. I hate that my perception of her is completely broken now because she's cheating and I'm the one helping her do it. I hate that she goes out on the weekends in a group of friends with her husband and I'm not there with her. I hate that I'm honestly being fuckin played and taken advantage of because I'm weak rn and am too much of a pussy to end it because I fell in love. I hate damn near everything about the situation except for holding her and being with her. Should I tell her all of this? Should I just end it? Should I tell her husband to get rid of the guilt and let her deal with the fallout? I genuinely don't fuckin know anymore.

My girlfriend of 1 year was cheating on me. Then broke up with me. Its a long story but i went through s major psychosis of no sleep no eating. I went to go see my family and friends for the weekend and was miserable. Then on Saturday, I had an awakening and I stopped feeling sorry for myself. I realized I needed to respect myself more and not cry over some girl who cheated on me.
I had a great night that night hanging out with my friends, going to the bar, seeing a punk show. While I was at the punk show, she called me. She was drunk. I answered and asked what she wanted. I couldn't really understand what she was saying. But I pretty much just told her that her cheating on me and breaking up with me really hurt me and that I fucked up a lot in the relationship too, but I'm working on those problems. She said she was drunk and she should probably hang up I told her that was a good idea, I felt amazing. I finally stood up for myself.
During this time she kept asking for something that she left at my house. I brought it over and I wanted to talk with her and the talk started out good. I told her I finally have respect for myself and she did was really wrong. She asked if I tried to log into her Instagram. I was honest and told her that I did I didn't see anything I didn't get in. I went fucking crazy and I just wanted to see if she was still seeing that guy she was sexting. She said thank you for being honest and we talked more.
It ended with her asking if I even tried the whole time and I said I did I really did try but it wasn't enough. After I said that she stormed off I went home and she texted me a few moments later saying she was sorry for storming off and thank you for bringing her thing m. So bad right now. I just wanna call her but I know things are just gonna get worse. This is what happens every single time. I try to explain myself I try to stand up for myself, just for it to get flipped on me just so I can feel bad about myself.
To be honest more than anything in the world. I still want to be with her even after what she did. Because I am enough for me now I'm enough for me so I can be enough for her. Before I didn't believe that now I do . Now she hates me. The woman belittled me the entire relationship, cheated on me, made me feel bad about it now hates me. Why do I let women do this to me, pick me apart and throw me away. It's not fair. I just want to reach out.

My wife and I have been together for over 4 years and have had a great marriage together. We have a 3 year old son and everything we could need.
In November my mother passed away which caused me to go into a bit of depression where I wanted to withdraw myself from everything for awhile. I know I may not have been myself for a bit, I was drinking a bit more than I should and I wasn't always as patient as I could have been but I was working hard on turning myself around. All seemed well until a few months ago when I noticed my wife talking a TON in her recently created group chat with 3 of her guy friends and one of their girlfriends.
Normally I wouldn't care but she had seemed to distance herself from me a lot by then. Our intimacy had dropped down to about once a month. She stopped initiating all physical contact. She barely seemed like she even wanted to kiss me anymore. So I asked her to be in her group chat since she was so busy talking on there while ignoring me. This ended up causing an argument where she kept ignoring my requests and saying "she's allowed to have her own friends" even though a couple months before that she was inviting me to go to "friends giving" with them. So I dropped it as we were getting ready to go on vacation to visit some family of mine
The beginning of our vacation was alright even though she resisted every form of intimacy I tried. To be fair we were quite busy and around my family a lot, but she used to be the type of woman to drag me off to the shower or want to sneak off in the car and have some fun. That seems to have completely changed. We ended up going for a scenic drive and I noticed my wife back there typing paragraphs apparently to the group chat..so I asked her once again to add me to it because if they are in there joking around I would like to be involved as well. Once again she ignored me, so I pressed.the issue later that night. Finally, begrudgingly she added me in the chat. I get along great with her friends there so I'm not sure what the issue is. Except one of the guys in there she went on to DMing every day instead.
I noticed she was constantly sending messages to one certain guy. Not just small messages either, whole paragraphs at times. I'm not one to snoop, but I have noticed some of their conversations between each other. Most seem innocent, but once he said "speaking of looking good in things what outfit are you wearing today" and she sent a selfie. It was an innocent selfie but still... Also at one point he said "texting is cool and all but I miss hanging out with you," and she said the feeling is mutual. My wife also complained to him about us draining her social battery while in vacation, then told him he didn't contribute to that at all. He has tried multiple times to ask to come keep her company and she replied to one I saw saying it's a tempting offer but they wouldn't "get anything done" if he did. He also told her to have a great day the other day before a party we were attending and she replied with "you're the best 😊". I don't get anything like that if I message her asking about her day or wishing her well.
I brought some of this up to her yesterday because I specifically told her Saturday that I wasn't comfortable with how much they are talking and she said she would talk with him less if I'm uncomfortable with it. Well yesterday when she got home from work I asked her what she did for lunch and she said she had a red bull. Well turns out what she wasn't going to tell me was that she went and had lunch at this guys house for an hour without mentioning anything to me, she hesitated very hard to tell me this but she knew I'd find out if she's lying. I tell her how uncomfortable this makes me and all she does is throw it back at me about how she doesn't feel like I trust her. I really want to trust her...I do but there's becoming too many red flags for me to ignore. Am I the one in the wrong here? Should I just ignore it and let her do whatever she wants? This feels like an emotional affair in the works to me, but she doesn't seem to care that it bothers me.

The most vile person I know is a gemini and she is my aunt (uncles wife) She tries to come across as very down to earth and proper but it's front. TBH It's not that's she's charming or likable cause she's not.. and none of my family liked her before they got married cause they sensed she was artificial except my uncle (but hes a libra lol). She will just switches up on you she goes from this quiet well mannered woman to this nasty vile conniving and violent woman. I'm thankful my mother never let me stay with my uncle cause every summer he would invite me to stay there. She would definitely tried to abuse me. My mom is a gemini and you can see such a difference between my aunt and her. My mom is honestly kinda a weirdo but in a good way, she's charming af and she does not try to conform or try and appear generic or seemingly palatable like my aunt. Because it's the wild and messy ass geminis that are the realist cause we show you our flaws upfront and if you can hang then you will find a friend for life in us. Gemini is not for the weak either because you could get your feelings if you want to control us. For example the one gemini on here I would trust with my life is boopsieboo cause I know he is a big old sweetheart behind those ridiculous and divisive posts.

“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”

― Marilyn Monroe

I know my friend cannot relate and is perhaps a little tone deaf when it comes to her struggles and issues. You know one of those friends who's problem is always a little bigger than everyone else's.... She is not trying to be meant or anything but she does go on and on about how tiring motherhood is. How messy her life is becuase of it. How she cannot quit her job like I did becuase of her moragage. (we used to be colleagues). She cannot afford to loose her job becuase of the kids..... The list goes on...
PS: Her beautiful girls are my godchildren...
Meanwhile, the reality is... I wish I was privilege enough to be tired becuase of those girls. I quit my job becuase it was affecting my mental health which was not great for my marriage. The stress was affecting my physical body to produce quality eggs. I cannot afford for my husband loose his job becuase my ivf treatment is a company benefit.
I am a career ambious woman who had to put my career on hold for her somethings she had unplanned and with almost zero effort on both occasions.....
I know she does realize how bigger my issues are. And it is likely that they are only big in my eyes... But in my opinion she has options and solutions to all her problems...she can quit her job. If she loose it she can find another. IMP her issues are fixable problems. There is no solution for my infertility issue...
She has been asking me to visit her and the girls.... And her idea of a great time is just us hanging out doin nothing. Or me cooking for the kids and family( I am the cook) and me hanging out with the kids .. Nothing wrong with that...
To me at this moment in time... That is my nightmare... It's a glimpse into a life I might not possibly have....
So yes... I am a shitty friend and godmom who cannot put her feeling aside.....
How do you cope...?

-Jack
Every kid growing up in Gympie in the early 90- 2000s knew about the Love Tunnel.
The love tunnel was located over the hill from the skatepark on the Riverbank. It was a massive storm water drain filled with spray paint and lore unbound throughout the generations; the glowing dick, whose name is the furthest in, the people who live inside, the bull shark that lived under the bridge just outside, all that fun stuff.
It collapsed in the late 2000’s in a flood and was eventually rebuilt, but it was all fancy, modern, safe and not the same. Back in the day it had decades of graffiti, crumbling cement, jagged metal pole framing bent and jutting out from the sides. You know, real character.
I remember when I was just a kid at the skatepark and I spotted a bunch of other kids at the metal grating of a drain. I joined them and gazed down a few metres to some older teenagers, they had trekked through this “love tunnel” under the massive hill all this way. Badass I thought. LEGENDARY.
I talked about it at school, about this mysterious “love tunnel”. It was in view from the road when I crossed the bridge everyday on my daily commutes from the backseat of mums car.
I would gaze down at the weir and see the top of the love tunnel, sliightly hidden from view by a hill. It fascinated me.
I learned all these mysterious tales; this person slept with this person there, someone took a dump at the entrance and some other girl stood in it and now she had a nickname, someone found needles, another found a homeless woman and she screamed at them. I was pumped for the next weekend. I was going to go see it for myself.
I saw too much.
Early Saturday morning I was riding my push bike through town and toward destination adventure! I started out at the skatepark, met up with a few of the regulars, a mix of 5-19y/o everyone on the half pipes and ramps had a code of comrady that I've never found in a public place anywhere else and you always had someone to hang with.
My usual crew slowly arrived through the morning, a bunch of other 10/11 year old misfits like myself and we headed on our first place on our journey, Hungry Jacks. Now we never technically stole, we found a loophole…
One or two would order a stunner meal, then we'd take privilege of the free refills and fill up the empty plastic 4L juice jugs that we all had prepped in our backpacks. Coke and red Fanta for days.
So we got our supplies and headed behind HJ, past the volleyball courts and headed down a bush track down to the river.
We walked along the banks to loop back down to where the bridge was, we passed a few teenagers fishing and a couple other groups of kids swinging from rope swings into the water or huddled in groups smoking things they shouldn't.
We eventually arrived at the weir and the stormwater drain that I had been so intrigued by. The Love Tunnel.
Climbing up the hill and seeing it up close when you were just a tiny human. It was like staring into the dark abyss of hell.
There was a small stream of water flowing out of the big grey cylinder and it was covered in multicolored quotes and crude pictures that was very eye opening at the time.
Our voices echoed as one by one we climbed up the grassy, eroding clay edging that was the makeshift path into the mouth that probably changed each time it rained. Each of us had pulled out clumps of grass that we thought were handholds. If you fell, you fell down an embankment of slippery jagged rocks poking out from the fast flowing river.
So were inside and began to walk a couple of metres in then around us the light abruptly disappeared into complete darkness. And I remember the way the sounds traveled you could feel it through your chest it was mesmerizing.
I remember bravely stepping into the darkness and taking five or six steps in. That thick darkness was something else, I ran myself back to that entrance and light, heart pounding from the adrenaline.
This turned into a game of who could go in the furthest. This stopped when one of the boys screamed out from the darkness in pain.
He was back in the light teary eyed a few moments later wet on one side and feigning a laugh. He'd slipped down and cut open his knee, it was hilarious. We teased him saying he was going to get gangrene and leprosy and a myriad of other ailments we had no idea actually was.
We decided to bail, we forgot torches, we didn't plan that part out too well, and enjoyed the rest of the afternoon being little menaces.
We met the next day with a game plan, we had an array of various sized torches, from small ones that didn't do anything, one of those giant rectangle ones that was our main light source, a couple of handheld ones, one which flickered and the other stopped working before we even got into the tunnel.
We got in safely and tested out our torches and began walking into the unknown. It was pretty much the same as before, but there were strange things, old makeshift bongs, shopping bags, random shoes, a shopping trolley, a mattress that was all moldy and rotted. I still to this day do not understand how people managed to get that shit in there.
We passed a section where someone had thrown a can of red paint all over the walls, the amount of those ‘S’ symbols was more terrifying.
We saw light up ahead, we were passing our first grate. It was kind of daunting looking up towards it. Even getting on each other's shoulders we couldn't reach. There was an array of broken beer bottles and glass was everywhere, under the grate was a dead snake amongst some debris.
We had a debate whether to go further, we ended up going on at least until the next grate, we came to a fork, one seemed like a smaller offshoot so we stuck to the bigger side.
There were more offshoots and we came to a part where the big pipes split off into three under another grate. We gazed up hoping to get an identifier of our location, but all we could see was blue. We called out to see if we could get anyone's attention.
“Cooooweeee” we shouted in unison, the sound echoing in all directions.
We were laughing and having a grand time until something shouted back, something that still shakes me to my core to this day.
Some yobbo crackhead chick in her fifties with this ratty pink tank top that was all stretched half showing her saggy titties. “What the fuck you think you little cunts doing down here.” This chick screeched at us through her few teeth or something along the lines of that. She just exploded at us with a barrage of threats.
We were shocked silenced moving together to make one mass.
One of the boys screamed when a skinny guy emerged from the darkness. He was covered in tattoos with scraggly hair and a beard, he was all crazy eyed and pantless.
Someone yelled out to run and it was all the motivation we needed.
We could hear them screaming and the guy ran after us, we heard glass shattering behind us, they must have thrown a bottle. We were legging it.
We got split up in our running, I fell down, tripping over some rubbish, one mate stayed back to help me, this left us without a torch. We came across the same kid who slipped over yesterday, he had slipped down again cutting open his other knee. He wore those with badges of honor at school, but he was blubbering like a baby at this point.
He had the flickering torch and it disoriented us more than helped, as it turned on and off every time he took a step. I thought we were lost but we found the other grate, then eventually the entrance.
The others were already climbed down, we were soon by their side panting in the grass and wiping away our tears so the others couldn't see.
We ran back over to the skatepark and immediately told every kid we saw.
That was the wildest shit we had ever experienced. Sure we’d seen crazy up on the street but to have it jump out at you from the shadows in a storm water drain was next level.
By that night one of the other boys had spilled to his parents about our escapades and a couple of other mums got phone calls, three got in trouble, two of us didn't, including me.
I never stepped foot back in that tunnel, I swam at the weir more times than I could count afterwards though and never encountered anyone else too sketchy.
I think only a year or two later I saw on the news people dying in storm water drains somewhere else in Aus, we never realized how dangerous they could be back then. Lol.
Every party or get together afterwards it was a crowd favorite to bring up. It was a good conversation starter and joined the tales amongst my friends of the weird shit that happens in ‘Helltown’.
Growing up and looking back they were probably just homeless drug addicts freaked out from a bunch of children's voices yelling out coooweee from the underground where they thought they were alone. That would have scared the shit outta me if I was them.
Good times.
.VJ
Tl:Dr kids go into storm water drain and find creepy couple who scream at them.

I know we’ve had enough ‘WHOS THIS? WHATS HER BUSINESS ‘ERE’ posts about this new character already but I saw a post hanging about saying that she’s performing at the castle at aegon’s feast held in aemond’s honour after he returns from Storm’s End with news of Luke’s death and that she might be distracting Aemond during a certain event - but i think this might be to do with Aegon instead.
He’s known to be lecherous, he’s obviously an alcoholic so he struggles with all his vices, even if they might portray him as trying to be sober once becoming king, he would be very vulnerable to temptation, and although sending a woman, a silver haired one at that to seduce a targaryen man is quite standard and maybe would be on the cards to distract aemond, i think it’ll be geared towards aegon who will probably be more interested in the celebrations and more likely to fall for it easily even if he has been trying to stay away from it, though they could very much not go down the route of him giving up his vices at all. This would also hit harder if he actually does end up being seduced by this woman on that night and is with her instead of Helaena and the children (if he’s been making more effort with them now especially), that would make his guilt and the impact of B&C on him even more poignant.
Also if the scene with Aemond in whoever’s arms might be that same night also, perhaps in response to the feast being held - it would give an equal distraction to him, amping up his guilt and the affect on team green too, guilt for being distracted/ allowing themselves to be vulnerable and putting them completely on a ‘scorched earth’ path.
I’m very aware this is all conjecture just i just had a random thought :)

So, growing up (born in 97), there was limited access to stuff at my fathers house. He did let us watch old cartoons though and we had a Bugs Bunny (or Looney Toons in general, I just remember a lot of Bugs Bunny) VHS tape that had a few cartoons on it:
One involved Bugs digging a hole to go on vacation and keeps getting into different situations.
There's one where I swear the only memory I have is a lot of classical music and Bugs dressed as a woman viking riding a really fat ass horse.
I feel like there was at least one of the classic 'duck season' 'rabbit season' bits.
There was one with Marvin Martian and Bugs in space. I can't remember the plot because its been so long, but I almost feel like Marvin was trying to kill Bugs.
I also think there was Duck Dodgers on it.
And an interview/documentary? thing where Bugs is talking directly to the camera and is talking about how rabbits usually have tons of children, but he in fact has multiple fathers and then they showed drawings of Mel Blanc, Tex Avery, and the other guys (I only remember those two because I'm a huge Mel Blanc fan and Tex Avery has stuck out in my mind for whatever reason) hanging on a wall. It's dumb, but I'm watching a show called Inmates to Roommates and I think one of the guys looks like the drawing of one of Bugs creators and its driving me crazy. I just want to tell my sister who he looks like, but I can't figure it out and the closest approximation I have is he looks like a caricature of Dave Coulier. That is literally the entire reason I want to try to find this.

I sent the guys and gent my 1 Liner but Incase they never see it you guys can read my story here 🫶🏼
2020 met my ex online we talked for a year 2021 physically met my ex after I turned 18 we became official and then I moved in with them after 6 months 2 months later we moved into a new apartment but from the beginning we were having problems and he would always break up with me or try to make me break up with him. We were good for a while but I guess i did things to upset him and we ended up breaking up but still living together and ofc we were still fooling around Our lease was suppose to be up in 2022 but in September we got back together and things was good ofc we were on and off. it was September 2023 we were arguing and he had gotten angry at me for not getting a package for him and he called me some names lol 🥲. But I had this feeling like something wasn’t right and something in the back of my mind told me to check his Apple Watch. I did and found a girl who sent him a TikTok video that said something about when your girlfriend something something. I knew right then and there so I saved her number. I called it but then chickened out. I worked night shift and so all that night that’s all I could think about and the next day when I got home I made breakfast as normal and then I searched her number on cash app and got her name and looked her up on Facebook. I reached out to her and yeah I guess they were hanging out. Turned out she was his previous ex. And when he went out of town for work he went and saw her. And supposedly they never had sex since it’s against her religion So we officially break up and I moved all my stuff out to my dad’s house. I don’t remember officially but I think I went back to our apartment to pick up my mail and I looked nice cause I was going to my cousins party. We ended up making out and planned to meet up which we did. And since then we met up many times. She found out and was angry but like what did I owe her ? Nothing cause she lied to me she told me she was done with him. She tried to tell me I didn’t love him like I lived with him for about 3 years almost and cleaned up after him and all that jazz. It’s been a while since I saw him but honestly I’m just mad at myself that I was so weak lmao now I don’t even want another relationship I’m just done. In some sick way I still wanted to be with him. But I’m pretty sure it was the idea of him that I had. It’s didn’t work out and that’s that. I needed to still use him to get over him. And basically I became the other woman. 💁🏻‍♀️

I’m a mid 20s woman. This feels like a stupid question to me but it’s a situation i’ve never generally been in before. I just moved locations this year and in my past relationship/town, did all my socializing with my ex by my side so it was always clear I was in a relationship. my socializing is more varied now.
I’ve dealt with not knowing if a guy is friendly or not because they approach me a lot like a girl trying to be my friend would. No flirting, no asking on a date, but asking to just hang out.
For example, say I get along with a new male coworker and i haven’t gotten to mention my boyfriend yet. After a shift or 2 they may ask to hang out. But not one on one which would be a red flag to me. Maybe they invite me to visit them at a bar they work at or a group hang out.
i recently went out for drinks with a few male coworkers after a shift but they knew of my boyfriend. the next time we all went out my boyfriend even joined us. So that turned out well! Are men really just trying to be my friend?

TW: Alcoholism, drug addiction, violence, suicidal ideation, sex abuse
This is going to be a LLLLLOOONNNNGGGGG one. This story goes back quite a way, but yesterday was the tenth anniversary of the ending to this story and I'm feeling it, still got some guilt about everything that happened, wondering what I could have done differently and I just want to vent it out and hope to get some closure from it.
This story started in 2010.
Characters in this story (names are fake, duh!):

• Me, Guy, 32M at the time, 45 now.
• My BFF Stephanie, 33F at the time.
• Stephen, 40M at the time, Stephanie's boyfriend.
• Maryse, 27F at the time.

Background and intro
I had known Stephanie for many years and we had the kind of friendship that made her BFs and my GFs uncomfortable to put it lightly. We had never crossed that boundary and I wouldn't consider us in the friendzone, we were just friend, but the kind of friend where she would sit on my lap with her arms around my neck or her head on my shoulder.
At the start of 2010, Stephanie met her then boyfriend, Stephen. He tolerated me and my friendship with Stephanie because I also had a gf back then. She liked Stephanie, wasn't at all jealous of my friendship with her, so he didn't deem me too suspicious. Then my gf and I broke up for reasons unimportant and all hell broke loose for Stephen. He became convinced that I would try and steal Stephanie from him. He insisted that Stephanie introduce me to her female friends or female friends of his. Thus began what I called the year of the 50 blind dates. It was probably closer to 20, but still I like saying the year of 50 blind dates. Most of them were unremarkable and never went beyond the first date. There are some fun stories in there if anyone wants to hear them eventually!
In July of that year, I had to switch gears because I had to focus up and study for a professional exam for a certification important to my career. This exam required close to 600-800 hours of study over a 3-4 month period. So I hunkered down, told Stephanie to stop the blind dates for now because I had to focus on that. She respected my wishes and, other a text here or there, we went low contact for the last two months before the exam.
Except for one fateful night in September. Her birthday was in September and she always threw these big bashes at her house. She would throw a big pool party that started around noon and would go on to the wee hours of the morning. I knew she would harass me to go to her party, so I made some quick math and figured I would lose more energy and time trying to dodge her calls, texts and most likely visits at my place than by just going to the party itself. So when she called me to ask, I just said: "Okay I'll go to your damn party, now git." I texted her I would get there in the evening probably around 8. She texted back "Great, can't wait. Now study, bitch!"
So I ultimately get there around 8PM. Basically everybody is already drunk off their gourd. Stephanie sees me, squeals in excitement and runs to me in her bikini and just jumps in the air and slams into me, wraps her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist and gives me a big hug. I hug her back and just keep walking back to the pool where she had started, carrying her with me. I just duck my head around hers and say hi to Stephen, who just glares at me.
She drops back down and I give her her gift. We chat for a few seconds and says "There's beer in the fridge and food in the dining room." I told her I'd be right back.
I go inside and grab a beer from the fridge. I head to the dining room and the table is against the wall with a buffet of sandwiches, tomato pizza, salads, etc. I grab a plate and start putting food on it. I was focused on the task because I was starving. I barely noticed, sitting at the end of the table one of the most stunning woman I have ever seen. I just see her in my peripheral vision and I do a quick double take, quick glance at her and back to the food. I do that a second time. And finally a third time. At that point she is just straight up staring at me and I can't help but chuckle and whisper under my breath "Subtle Guy, sub-tle".
Thankfully she starts laughing too, saving me some embarassment. I look at her and greet her. She says "Hi, I'm Maryse and I'm guessing you're Guy?" I just nod and we start talking. At that point, I just thought I have no shot with her, she's so far out of my league that I'm just gonna talk to her until she sees one of the "models" hanging out by the pool and ditches me for him.
So I'm not feeling like I'm playing for anything, so I'm just myself and not nervous, just talking to her as I would any friend. We chat and she laughs at all my jokes, she gets all my cultural references. She never gets up or ditches me. The plate of food I had made and the beer I had gotten are sitting on the table next to me untouched, I was too busy with the convo to think about food or beer anymore.
After what felt like only 20-30 minutes, Stephanie comes in and tells me, fake grumpy: "So that's where you disappeared to. I invite my best friend to a party and he spends the whole night talking to someone else." I laugh and go: "What do you mean the whole night? I haven't been here that long." She says "Dude, it's 2AM. You've been here for 6 hours..." My jaw dropped and I just said: "Wow, time flies when you're having fun." Maryse chimes in, with a big smile: "It sure does!" That made me happy as you can imagine.
Now I was a little stuck because where Stephanie lived, there's no night service for the bus and the subway had been closed for an hour or so. I figured I would cab it. So I turn to Maryse and tell her: "It was absolutely lovely to meet you and I enjoyed our conversation very much." She says that she did too. I continued with "At the moment, my schedule is incredibly hectic. I'm basically working full-time, studying full-time and sleeping part-time. So I don't have a lot of free time, but if she was interested, whatever little free time I had, I would love to call her or text her to keep on getting to know her."
I see Stephanie in the backgroudnd, looking like a proud mama at how smooth that came out, knowing I was always anything but smooth with women, as proven by the string of blind dates! Maryse has a big smile and we exchange numbers. I go to Stephanie to wish her a happy birthday again. While I'm talking to her, my phone buzzes with a text from Maryse: "Just checking!"
I asked Stephanie "What's the best cab company to call in this area?" Maryse chimes in: "Where do you live?" I tell her where I lived and she goes "It's on the way to where I live, I can give you a ride if you want." Stephanie raised an eyebrow in surprise. I learned later, she did it because it absolutely was not on the way to her place, like, at all. I say that I would love that as it would give us a chance to keep talking.
We get in her car, driving to my place. We talk, she asks me what I'm studying as I hadn't mentioned it earlier. I tell her all about the boring maths I had to study. Much too quickly, we get to my place. She parks in front of my building and we keep talking. At some point, I tell her: "Normally, this is where I would try to "trick" you into coming up to my place..." She interrupts me: "You wouldn't need to trick me. I'm willing and able!"
I tell her that "As tempting as that sounds, I know who I am and I know that if you come up and things proceed to where they're going, I'm not going to be able to study for the rest of the month. I have a kind of obsessive mind and when I find someone or something I like, I can push everything else to the side in favor of that. So to make sure I can still focus on my studying, I have to go up by myself."
She looks at me, a little disappointed but then says, half-jokingly: "We don't have to go up, there's a backseat right there!" We laugh and I give her a kiss and wish her a good night. I managed to stay strong and go back to my condo. Damn it, why did I have to stay strong!!!
My exam was at the beginning of november. During the month of october, we texted a bunch of times and talked on the phone. We went for coffee a couple of times and dinner once. She respected my boundaries and never pushed for more, which I appreciated but also hated at the same time, if that makes sense. The exam came and it was a monster of a Friday. I slept for basically 18 hours after the exam as the adrenalin dropped and my system crashed.
I texted her when I woke up at around 1PM. She was working at the clothing store Stephanie owned. She said "I'm off at 5PM, wanna meet me." I said: "Duh! Why do you think I'm texting? ;)" So I met her at the store downtown. I asked if she wanted to grab a drink, go for dinner, or what. She proposed going to her place and getting some take out. Stephanie who was closing the store at that moment, came up to us and said: "Hey, so what are we doing?" I said: "WE, that is Maryse and I, are going to her place and getting some takeout. Bye!" I'm sure you'll understand when I tell you that no food was ever ordered that night!
Thus followed a whirlwind month of November where any free time we had was spent together, and I wasn't going to complain!
The troubles
By the start of december, things were still going great with us. One saturday night, we were having dinner at a restaurant and I mention that this coming Friday is my office Christmas party, that it's employees only, so we wouln't see each other that night. She tells me: "Oh sure, that's fine! It'll give me a chance to go see some girlfriends I've been neglecting lately." I said "Great! BTW I also got us a reservation at [this great restaurant she had mentioned a few times] for next Saturday, so we could go there and I'll tell you all about my party and you can tell me all about her night with the girls!"
That was settled, I thought. I was wrong. On Thursday, we had spent the evening together at her place and I was about to leave to go back to my place. She tells me: "So are you coming to meet me at the store tomorrow or do I go to your place?" I reminded her: "Neither, tomorrow is my office Christmas party and we won't see each other tomorrow." She said: "Oh right, I forgot." I asked her if she had made plans with her friends like she had mentioned last saturday. She said that they were all busy tomorrow and weren't available.
She suggested "If your party is boring, maybe you could come meet me." I retorted that it wasn't going to be, knowing who was going to be there.
"Yeah but what if?"
"But it won't"
"But what IFFFFFF?" she kept insisting and I kept saying no. After what felt like 30 minutes of that (probably only 2-3 minutes in reality), I had enough and just said to end the argument: "Okay, if it's boring, I'll come. but it won't be." She said: "Cool" with a big smile on her face. I came to learn that that smile meant "Challenge accepted".
The following night, my colleague and I were pregaming in a conference room before leaving for the party proper and my phone buzzes. Maryse was wishing me a good party. I replied. She texted me again. I replied. She texted again, but I was in a conversation with a colleague so I didn't reply or even look at the phone. My phone buzzes again. Still talking, and didn't want to be rude to my colleague. Another buzz. I just kept talking. Phone buzzes differently, she was now calling because I hadn't answered her texts.
"Why aren't you replying to my texts?"
"Hey, sorry, was talking to my colleague Patrick."
"What? you don't want to talk to me?"
"I am talking to you now."
"Why didn't you reply to my texts?"
"Because it would have been rude to my colleague to pull my phone out while talking to him."
"But you're talking to me now."
"Because I thought something was wrong, maybe it was an emergency."
"I wanted to talk to you, that's all."
"Well, gotta go back to the party. Talk to you later."
She kept texting and if I didn't reply right away, she would call after two or three missed texts. After about 2 hours of this, I stopped answering the texts. When she called back, I asked her: "Aren't you supposed to be working?" which started another round of guilt-tripping of "why are you asking me this? you don't want to talk to me?" At that point I had had enough and wanted to enjoy my party. I remembered that the Blackberry (no shaming old tech!) I had had an annoying feature, but I was hoping to put it to good use at that moment.
Whenever the battery would get really low, like less than 1%, it would let out an ear-piercing BEEP for about 3 seconds, reminiding you to charge it and giving you a heart attack all at the same time. It would do that even when you were in silent mode. It had happened a few days earlier when I was with Maryse. I figured, if I press a button on the Blackberry, it would make a beep too that could be heard through the phone. So while I was talking to Maryse, I pressed my thumb on the space bar for a good 3 seconds and sputtered; "what... the .... what?" trying to put on a somewhat believable performance.
She asked what that noise was and I tell her that it was my blackberry letting me know I was low battery and it might shut off any second. I told her "Listen I'm gonna wish you a good night, I'm having a good time at my party so I'll see you tomorrow at 5PM to go spend our evening together. I hope you have a good....." and hung up mid-sentence. I promptly shut my phone off and went back to the party. I concede that I may be a bit of an AH for that move.
The party was great, I got drunk much quicker than I expected owing to the fact that I hadn't had a drink in over two months because Maryse didn't drink so I didn't either when we were together, and we were always together. At 1AM, I went home and passed out on my bed.
This is another place where I may have been an AH. I didn't turn my cell phone back on and I unplugged my home line too, because I wanted to sleep the deep sleep of the drunkard. I woke up at around 1:30 PM, not knowing it was already too late. In my mind, I was meeting Maryse at 5PM to go out on the town that night. Maryse had other ideas as you'll see.
So like I said, I woke up at 1:30PM and was sticky with alcohol sweat, so I went straight for the shower to get clean again. While in the shower, my stomach grumbled with hunger and I started daydreaming of bacon and eggs. That pushed me out of the shower right quick. I dried myself off quickly, tied the towel around my waist and went to the fridge. No bacon.... booo. Looked at the egg compartment... no eggs... booo again. Okay then, how about a cream cheese bagel. No cream cheese, damn it. Look in the pantry, no bagels.... god. I was starting to get angry. Okay, cereals then. I pick up the cereal box, that mofo was empty and I get mad: "who's the idiot who puts the empty box back in the pantry?" I remembered I live alone.
I close the fridge dejected and see the grocery list stuck on the fridge, taunting me with everything I wanted to eat for breakfast written on it. But I felt like if I went to the grocery store hungry as I Was, I'm just gonna pay 600$ and not get one single healthy thing to eat. I then remembered there's a restaurant next to the grocery store that serves breakfast until 3PM. I get excited! I get dressed quickly, grab my wallet and keys, put my boots on, my coat on, wrap my scarf, my tuque and my gloves and go to the restaurant. If you notice, I didn't mention my phone in there.
I get to the restaurant and confirm that they still have breakfast and get even more excited when she confirms it. I order the "heart attack", at least that's how I nicknamed it: 3 eggs, 3 servings of bacon, 2 sausages, and, I guess to give one peace of mind, fruit (or to be precise, one single solitary slice of orange). Now that the food is ordered and coming I figured I would check if I have any messages. I pat the pocket where my phone always is. No phone. uh-oh. I start clutching evert pocket, no luck.
I wonder if I should go back home after the meal before going to the grocery store and decide against it, it would be too long a detour. So I scarf my breakfast down, rush through the grocery store. I get home and set my bags down in front of the fridge. I go pick up my blackberry. I turn it back on. The little tape icon tells me there are messages on my voicemail, at that time there were no red dots with a number in it to tell you how many.
I connect to the voicemail while starting to put the groceries away. The little automated voice tells me "You have 25 new messages." I pull the phone away from my ear, look at it in disbelief as if saying: "are you f'ing kidding me?" So I press 1 to start playing the messages.
Remember: Maryse knew I was at a party with a dead phone, no chargers and I probably wouldn't get home until 1AM. From 6:30PM, when my phone died, to 11:34 PM, when she went to sleep she left me 9 messages. BTW I know she went to sleep at 11:34PM because she left me a message saying "it's 11:34PM and I'm going to bed. Thinking of you." The 9 messages were in the same vein. These are the salient details, but the messages were all much longer.
She woke up at 7:15 the following day, I'll let you guess how I know that tidbit of information! She left me 5 more messages like those from the day before: 7:15 woke up. 7:35 going to take a shower. 7:55 out of the shower. 8:25 getting ready to leave for work 8:50 walking out of the subway to go to the store.
She leaves me another message at 9 that was different. She sounded very excited as if she had had the best idea in the world: "Hey it's 9AM, I'm about to start my shift. I know we're only supposed to meet after my shift, but what if you came and met me for lunch so you could tell me all about your party." I just did my best Scooby-Doo "Ruh-Roh" and chuckled that I blew that, not thinking the calamity that was awaiting me.
Another couple of messages to talk logistics: "I could take my lunch at 12 or 12:30, let me know which you prefer." "I'm taking my lunch at 12:30"
A slightly worried message: "It's 11:15 and you stil have not said if you were coming or not, are you okay?"
The first bomb goes off and I knew I was in trouble then: "Where are you? We're supposed to meet for lunch and you still haven't given me any sign of life, you're not answering your home phone either, what happened?" Reminder: we were not supposed to meet for lunch, she suggested doing so a couple of hours earlier and I never agreed to anything. I guess she told her colleagues I would meet her for lunch and it was now fact and could perhaps make her look bad in front of her colleagues.
The second bomb drops: "It's almost noon now, WHERE ARE YOU? Stephanie says you're probably sleeping off your drunk, but I don't believe her. I'm sure you got yourself a slut and cheated on me. Didn't you? didn't you, you asshole." Stephanie knows me very well, but that wasn't enough for Maryse it seems.
Ensued four more messages from 12:30 to 1:15, where she starts sounding more and more drunk and accusatory, spewing more attacks like in the message above. At that point I already knew it was over, there was no coming back from that. I can understand having trust issues, but that was nuclear. I don't tolerate jealousy because of horrible experiences with a couple of jealous toxic exes.
A final message comes in, and it's a different voice, that of my best friend being more than a little angry: "Hey Guy, listen, Maryse tells me you had a Christmas party yesterday, so I'm guessing you're sleeping off your drunk, still. But call me when you get this. I put Maryse, who's f'ing drunk, in the backstore so she can dry off and "do inventory". She can't be on the sales floor obviously and I just don't feel safe sending her home in the state she's in. Call me to tell me how you want to handle this."
At that point I had finished putting away my groceries and had put my boots and my coat on and was making my way to the subway to go to the store. I call Stephanie and tell her I got the messages and I was coming. She was right, I was sleeping off my drunk and had just woke up (didn't feel the need to mention the breakfast and grocery store). I ask her if she knows what I'm gonna do when I get there. She says that she knows and understands. She knows my bad history.
When I get out of the subway, I call her again before getting to the store. I ask her how she wants me to do this. It's her store and I don't want to create drama in front of her customers. Does she want me to wait outside and she tells Maryse to meet me in the street or do I go in the store and she takes me to the backstore and I do it there? She says to come to the store.
I walk in the store and every saleswomen on the floor looks at me and gives me the biggest case of the stink-eye. They only have Maryse's side of the story, so they think I did all these horrible things. I see Stephanie in the middle of the store and I walk towards her. She shakes her head and points me towards the cash register. I look over there and see Julia, a salesperson that I've known for a couple of years and really like, who also happens to be the biggest gossip in the store. I understand what Stephanie is trying to do. She's gonna make me tell her my story in front of Julia so Julia can spread the "good news" to the other employees and rehabilitate my name possibly.
So I get to the register and say Hi to Julia. She barely acknoledges me. Steph joins me. She asks me:
"How are you?"
"I was better an hour ago, before I listened to those voicemails. I had gone to our office party last night, had a great night, got drunk off my ass, got home at around 2 and woke up around 2."
Julia asks "Maryse told us you were supposed to meet her for lunch."
"No we weren't. I have a reservation for tonight at XYZ restaurant. I was supposed to take the day to do errands, stuff around the condo and meet her here at closing time. She suggested that it could be fun if I came at lunchtime to meet her, but that was never the plan."
Julia asks again "But why didn't you answer your phone?"
"It ran out of battery last night during the party and when I got home, I was so drunk that I forgot to plug it back in. I only plugged it when I woke up at 2. That's when the messages came in."
Julia asks "She says she tried calling your home line and you didn't answer and your machine didn't kick in."
"Yeah, that one's my fault, I knew I wanted to sleep and telemarketers have a habit of calling me early saturday mornings so I didn't want to be awoken by a call for a rug cleaning service, so I unplugged it yesterday morning, knowing I would be drunk when I got home and forget and be angry if I was awakened by a telemarketer."
Julia gave me a hint of a smile, showing me she was starting to believe me. She asked me a few more questions and then she asked what I was gonna do. I told her that whatever I'll do, I would tell Maryse first.
I looked at Stephanie and said: "Can you open the back store so I can go see her?" So we went to the backstore. As we reached the door, it swung opened and out popped Maryse, looking absolutely terrifying, I actually jumped back when I saw her. Her usual perfect makeup was completely smeared, her mascara streaking down her cheeks from the crying. Her hair was disheveled. She was a mess. Apparently, she had had enough of waiting back there and was planning on leaving the store to go home and had put her coat and boots on.
When she saw me, she went into an unhinged rant about me being an asshole for cheating on her, me not being great in bed, me not treating her right, etc. I let her vent everything she had to say, I looked at Stephanie and apologized for creating such a scene in her store. I tell Maryse we should go outside and talk in private. She keeps on yelling, but when I grab her hand to lead her outside, she follows.
When we get outside, her anger had started to wane a little, or maybe just her energy. I was able to talk to her to explain everything, how I had gotten drunk, had overslept (alone) and woke up at 2PM. I reminded her that we were only supposed to meet at 5PM not for lunch. The anger was leaving her and a smile almost appeared on her face. Through all of this I was being very calm and patient with her, which she interpreted as me not being mad at her. I then said in a firmer tone: "However..." and let it hang for a second.
The beginning smile vanished. I continued: "When you accused me of cheating on you, that broke me. That triggered memories of toxic exes who would always accuse me of cheating, not trusting me when I would tell them where I was, snooping on me, stalking me. Because of those experiences, I have a zero tolerance policy for jealousy. I told her that if she was behaving like after only two months of dating, it didn't bode well for the future and I have to protect myself."
At that, the tears started again and she just turned and ran/waddled away. I told her to wait, but she didn't hear me. I turned towards the entrance of the store to see basically all the employees and customers milling around the door trying to catch the drama. I went back inside to talk to my best friend. The mood had definitely changed and no one was giving me the stink eye anymore, but I didn't really care. I was just sad that it had ended, but proud of myself for having stood up for myself.
So AITA for getting drunk and keeping my phone turned off?
There is a lot more to this story and if you want to learn what happened afterwards, then read on.
The immediate aftermath
So I went back inside the store and talked to Stephanie. I told her that I had a reserrvation for XX restaurant and if she wanted to go with Stephen, she could take it, I wasn't in the mood for a dinner. She said "I already have plans for tonight, but thanks for offering." Julia said she would go with me if I wanted, but I just said that I wasn't in the mood to go out. I just wanted to crash and eat a pizza and get into a food coma.
Stephanie said she didn't feel comfortable leaving me by myself and I should join them at her house. They were having friends over to play board games and it could at least distract me a little. I said why not. So brimming with enthusiasm, I went to play bored games. I left early as I wasn't in the mood. I was feeling a little better, but still a bit down. I thanked Stephanie for the invite and left. I got home and just passed out on the bed.
I woke up at around 7AM the next morning and I saw along the corners of the window the tell-tale signs of a snow-drift and got excited as it was the first snow of the season. I pushed the curtains aside and looked on to see a beautiful white carpet outside. It was early enough that very few cars had marred the whiteness. I was admiring it when I noticed that, against the red bricks of the building across the street, there was a pink blotch. As I focused, the blotch became human shaped and I cleared my eyes enough to realize that it was Maryse and she was raising her cell phone to her ear.
On cue, my phone rings. I pick it up. Still sounding drunk, she asks me if we can speak. I ask her to give me five minutes to get dressed and I'll meet her down there. She asks why she can't come up. I say that I'm not sure I want her in my apartment. She says that it's cold out. I say: "Good, then this will be quick."
I get dressed and meet her outside. I'm still bleary-eyed from having woken up 5 minutes ago, but I try to get my wits together. I tell her that we're going to walk to the subway. It 's a 10-minute walk normally, but with her drunkenness, it might take 15-20 minutes. That's how long she has to tell me what she wants to tell me.
She wants to apologize for accusing me of cheating on her. She says she knows I'm a great guy and... I may be the A-hole at this point too, but I start to drift off in my little bubble and start daydreaming about, if I go back to bed, would there still be some residual heat or would it be cold? I could take a hot shower and warm the bed that way. I could still hear her in the background making excuses, saying how she had been cheated on, but I wasn't really listening.
During the daydreaming I notice it got quite quiet. I look on my left and she's not there, I turn around she's a good 5-6 steps behind me looking angry and she says: "you're not listening" I just say: "when you're right, you're right." I tell her that I understand she's been hurt too in the past, and I hope she can work to resolve her issues, but I was done and I'm going back to bed. I was a bit harsh there, but I was tired and still down.
I walk past her and get maybe 10 paces past her when I hear a scream coming from her. I turn around and I see her messing with something inside her coat. She pulls out a chef's knife with like an 8-inch blade. That wakes me the fuck up. Byebye bleary eyes, hello wakefulness. better than a cup of coffee or a red bull I tell you!
So she's got the knife, she's screaming something that I can't quite understand. She gets quiet and then she charges at me with the knife. If I'm being honest I could have stayed where I was and she probably would have missed me anyways, but someone charges at me with a knife, I'm gonna nope out of there. I take a massive side step and once she gets to where I was and realizes that I'm no longer there, she turns her head towards me and says heyyyyy.
At that point, I have a moment of clarity and see what's gonna happen. She's drunk running one way and looking another, I know she's gonna trip. As I predicted, she stumbled over her feet and starts falling to the ground. I start praying to god and anybody who would listen: "Please don't let her cut herself. I don't want to have to explain this to the doctors, EMTs and nurses. I don't want her drunk ass deciding to take revenge on me by saying I did it."
Thankfully, she winds up in a sitting position on the sidewalk holding the knife up and it was clean. Thank god for small miracles. She starts crying and, other moment of clarity, I know she's gonna turn the knife on herself now. I jump towards her and I realize I was right, the knife starts moving towards her left wrist. I tackle her, grab her right wrist and twist it so she drops the knife. I pick the knife back up and put it in my pocket. She looks at me crying and says: "Why did you stop me?"
I pick her up and take her back to my building. In my building there was a couch in the lobby, so I take her there and I sit her down and plop myself next to her. I look at her and wonder out loud: "What am I gonna do with you? What can I do?"
She goes: "Just let me go, I'll be good." I tell her that's not going to happen. I realize I have three options and I give her the three options.
"So here's the choice I give you.
1- I pull out my phone, call 911 and tell them about the attempted murder back there and they send the police to arrest you. I don't want to do that because that could derail your life and not get you the help you need. Besides, they might not do anything anyway as it's your word against mine.
2= I pull out my phone, call 911 and tell them about the attempted suicide back there and that you need to be placed on a 72 hour hold. I could do that, but at the same time, again it's my word against yours, so maybe they don't believe me.
3- I'm gonna hazard a guess here. From what I've seen, you have alcohol problems. So I'm gonna guess you were in AA, had been sober for a while, I want to say 6 months, maybe less, when we met."
She confirms my guess.
"alright so option 3, I'm guessing you had a sponsor in AA." she nods "we call them up and tell them about your relapse and what happened this morning. Can they come get you and take care of you?"
She takes her phone out and picks a contact and calls. She hands me the phone. Someone answers and I explain the situation. They said they were coming right away. I give them my address, they get here 15 minutes later. Maryse had fallen asleep in the meantime, so I wake her up gently and help her to the car. Off she went.
I went back to my apartment and just crashed back to sleep.
A month later
Mid-january, my phone rings and I see Maryse's number on there. I send her to voice mail. Another call. Voicemail again. 5 minutes later, Private number calling. "Gee I wonder who that could be." Voicemail once more.
Afterwards, I didn't get any unidentified callers for a little over a week. One afternoon, I was at work and my phone rings and it's a number I do not recognize. I pick up.
"Hello."
"Hi, is this Guy?"
"Yes, to whom am I speaking?"
"This is Hannah, Maryse's sponsor. we spoke last month." I started fearing the worst.
"Yes, I remember. How can I help you?"
"Maryse tried to reach you last week and you rejected the calls. I think it could help Maryse if you listened to what she had to say. You're obviously not obligated to entertain her, but I think despite everything that happened, you still care about her or you would not have called me that morning."
"You are right, I do still care about Maryse. I'm just not sure how good it would be for her to meet me this soon after everything that happened. I understand wanting to work through the 9th step and making amends, but..." She interrupts me.
"So you know about the steps."
"Yes I have friends in the program. which is how I could guess that she was in the program too that morning."
"You know it's important."
"I know. I know. How about this: we meet in public at a cafe, you would have to be there. Not necessarily at the table with us, but nearby in case she needs help, in case meeting me causes her pain. Tell her I promise to be in a more receptive mood than I was that morning."
So we make an appointment for that saturday afternoon.
I get to the coffee shop. She's already there, and so is her sponsor. I realize happily that she's not wearing makeup. I say happily because that means she understands that this is not a date, but something serious. She's still stunningly beautiful, and I feel sad almost right away.
I grab a coffee and go join her at the table.
"Hey" I say,
"Hey. So this is gonna be uncomfortable, but thank you for agreeing to meet me and for coming, I appreciate it more than you know. I'm sure you heard I quit the store."
"I have, I'm sorry about that, I hope you didn't do it just because of me."
"No, I needed time to focus on myself for now."
She proceeds to tell me about how I wasn't far off with my guess. She had been sober 4 months when we met. Now she had 39 days. She tells me that in AA, if you are single, they recommend not dating anyone new for at least the first year of your sobriety as it can cause issues, similar to what happened with us. I was like her "drug" and as long as I was available, she could get her fix. But the moment I wasn't available all hell broke loose, and that is what led her back to drinking that day.
I told her I'm glad to see her back sober again this quickly and I hope she can get all the help she needs from it. I ask her if she wants to talk to me about her drinking.
She starts to share a story about how she started drinking at around 11 years old. When puberty hit her, she got into a deep depression because the sexual feelings she was starting to feel were triggering responses. As a child she had been abused by two of her uncles repeatedly and her parents never believed her. They accused her of trying to make herself interesting. That was until they caught one of those uncles red-handed.
They finally believed and took the necessary steps to protect their daughter. But they were poor and they couldn't afford therapy. So she never really got help for it. At 11, she started self medicating the depression with alcohol. When alcohol wasn't enough, she added drugs.
At that point, I was full on crying. She asked me if I wanted her to stop. I told her that she doesn't have to stop. That the tears are there because that was one more thing we had in common. I was also a survivor of sexual assault as a child. In my case, it wasn't a family member, it was only a stranger, so it only happened once. But I also self-medicated with alcohol at the onset of puberty, switching to drugs later on too. I was lucky to avoid the pitfalls of addiction, but I was still dealing with my demons, slowly making peace with them.
So there we were, sitting at a coffee shop, both crying and holding each other. I tell her that I think it's great she's getting help for her alcoholism and addicion, but was she doing anything to help with the underlying issue, the original trauma? She said no, she couldn't afford therapy. I tell her that I am a member of a survivors group and if she is interested, I could get her into a meeting and perhaps learn to heal that part of herself too.
She said that she could give it a try. I tell her I have to talk to the other members to know if I can bring someone new and I would let her know. If they said yes, we would go to her first meeting together, I would introduce her and then we would coordinate so that I never went to meetings where she was. I wanted to do that because I wanted her first few meetings to be about healing and I didn't want our own history to be intertwined or mixed in with that.
After that, we left both feeling content and, while not necesarily happy, at peace if you will. Later on, I contacted Stephanie who was one of the "pillars" of the support group (that's how we met) to ask her if it was okay for me to bring in a new member to the group. She said sure. She asked if it was anyone she knew. I told her she would have to meet her at the meeting if she decides to come.
We were having a meeting the following day. I called Maryse, told her the time and place, and she said she would be there. She came to the group meeting and was shocked to see Stephanie there but Stephanie kinda guessed that it was Maryse I was referring to.
I introduce her, we start sharing stories, talking about how we're feeling, etc. The meeting was good and Maryse liked the vibe. So for the first six months after that, I never saw Maryse and we planned which meeting we would be attending to ensure we didn't cross paths. She started feeling much better.
After maybe 2 and a half years, she finally felt ready and she started dating again. She met someone and she fell for him. They were together for about six months, she looked happy. Unfortunately after about six months, she caught him cheating on her. We tried supporting her, being good friends, cursing his name, doing all the things we could to make sure she didn't relapse. But on April 5th 2014, she ODed on heroin. She was hospitalized for 2 weeks after that.
Hannah took her in and she set up a room for Maryse. She was still in a fragile state, so a group of her friends and I started taking turns watching over Maryse, making sure there was always at least one person there with her to keep her company.
Despite our vigilance, on May 14th 2014, when Hannah was out running a quick errand, she was gone maybe 15 minutes tops, Maryse found a way to cut her wrists and she died. We found a note saying that "the OD was not an accident, and neither was that. Thanks for everything you did for me. I love you all, but I can't do this anymore."
It feels good to write that story (I'll just ignore the fat tears rolling down my face!). Thanks for reading this far and sorry for the long story, I just started writing and couldn't stop. I apologize if it was a bit of a bummer.

I am a 34 yr old gay male. Ive always had a cold relationship with my mom ever since I started working in high school and showing that I was a go getter compared to my older, loser brother who can do no wrong but of course he’s the favorite. Ok sorry lets not get distracted haha back to this altercation.
My Nmom is in her late 60s, in a wheelchair and on a fixed income and finally situated in an affordable senior housing complex which is cheap, safe and clean. I’m truly happy she’s there. I’ve gone no contact before for about a year and it was extremely peaceful however with family coming to town and other things I’ve opened up light communication with her from time to time. She’s been mentioning how she’s been dating a mid 30s Asian man who’s a billionaire prince in a foreign country. He’s in love with her and she’s toying with the idea of moving out of the country to live in his family castle. (MY OH MY HOW I WISH THIS WAS TRUE HAHA). Apparently all of the local women around him just want to use him for his money so he somehow found my Nmom on Facebook dating to seek a true love hmmmmm ok right, textbook romance scammer. There’s also been a few other incidences where my Nmom has reached out to me freaking out because someone called and told her I was arrested for drugs and another time I was kidnapped lol which also let me know that she must be speaking with some type of romance scammers who are using information against her and it actually concerned me because I don’t know how much information she is sharing with these people and it genuinely freaks me out but Anyway it came to my attention she sent $500 to these scammers and it pissed me off and I confronted her about it. I advised her that she is more than likely involved with a scammer who is just using her for whatever they can get from her, the young billionaire prince is not real and it is a scammer. It also upset me because for years and years I paid my Nmoms bills and literally kept her off the streets and in turn kept my brother off the street since he would live with her for free at times. That was during the time I was still deep in the narcissist fog. Anyway I was upset she sent strangers $500 but won’t even offer to take me to lunch, go figure.
When I was bringing my concerns up to her that she is involved with a romance scammer she told me she knows what she’s doing and I should worry about having sex with a woman and making a baby instead of worrying about her. Of course this completely shocked and threw me off. Especially since my mom knows my sexual orientation and has known since I was in high school haha it was a typical narcissist distraction tactic. I personally don’t desire to have children of my own but it did hurt me because my life choices allowed for me to be able to afford paying her bills while my older brother who has 4 kids he doesn’t care for has done nothing for her and they’ve both mooched off me. Anyway the comment was so left field, I just had to hang up. I realized there is literally nothing I can do and truly need to stop caring because my mom is not right in the head, so rational conversations don’t go anywhere.
It all just makes me genuinely want to move out of state and just be so far away from them. Definitely need to go no contact again and try best to avoid flying monkeys.

I have been so confused since hanging out here that a lot of people seem to have to fight for the right for a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After C-section), since my first pregnancy was an emergency CS but it has been more or less taken for granted that I’ll deliver vaginally now that I’m going for my second (as in, it is clearly the default choice) even though we have discussed the various options.
I read a fascinating study today that really highlights the differences in attitudes towards both CS in general and VBAC specifically (unsurprisingly, they correlate - a country with higher CS rates will have lower VBAC rates) and I have to admit the difference in rates surprised me. Here’s a quote (link below as well):
“Although evidence exists that for most women a VBAC is safe, practice varies significantly, with as few as 29–36% of women in Ireland, Italy and Germany experiencing a VBAC compared with 45–55% of women in Finland, Sweden and the Netherlands. However recent statistics show even lower VBAC rates, 12% in US and 14% in Australia.”
12% in the US vs up to 55% in Northern Europe really suggests that all advice around this (in either country) is somewhat biased and not solely based on evidence, which is fascinating I think!
What has been your experience as a second time pregnant woman?
Link to study!

it’s been a few days since my last letter; i have no clue what to call these rants except for what they are? letters to an abyss of bystanding entities. it makes me so sad that one day all of you will die. this exact fact is the thing that keeps me up every night and tickles tears out of my eyes all the time. i’m tormented and tortured by fatality. one day my mother will die. one day my uncles will die. one day my friends will die. one day my little cousins will die. one day i’ll die. i’ll be forgotten like 50’s actresses that got booked for a single role then never appeared in anything ever again. mortality has been familiar with me since i was a child. one of my earliest (yet funnest?) memories was attending two funerals in one day. the first funeral was for an aunt on my grandmother’s side, and the second was for a cousin on my grandfather’s side. i remember looking at all of the solemn faces as a 7 year old and simply enjoying the fact that all of my family members were hanging out together, understanding that someone has lost their life and will never come back yet not being phased by it. the first funeral i’ve cried at was my father’s. i’m pretty sure i spent that entire day crying. i was 12 when i woke up in the middle of the night to police standing outside of my bedroom door. i peaked through the crack to see so much commotion in the hallway, not knowing what to do or what to think. hours passed before my mother crept my door open with a weak voice telling me that she’d be leaving me in the house alone to go with my father to the hospital. years later she told me that she already knew he was dead based on a feeling in her stomach. that was the first time in my entire life that i had felt such deep and guttural emptiness. i realized that humans weren’t rubber bands that relied on their elasticity to keep their pacemakers on. i realized that i could die at 12 years old.
these thoughts haunted me well into my teenage years, with those years rounding off with my grandmother’s death. she was a stubborn old woman who didn’t want to see any doctors and yelled at anyone who offered her help. i knew that her time was coming close to running over well before she passed, which haunted me. logistically it made sense, but spiritually? it drove me mad. sometimes i manage to convince myself that i can predict people’s deaths in manic delusional states. sometimes i get “an itch”, then start sobbing thinking about how one of my friends is probably dying as i wipe tears from my eyes. i’m haunted by my own intuition and i question it every day. i question if i can control time and death. i question if life is even worth living if im gonna spend every minute of it waiting for the day that the birds chirp in slow motion and my breath hitches at an uncontrollable rate. i’m terrified.
i hate how much these thoughts control me. i would take any pill that allows me to not think about the concept of death for at least one day. at least one hour. at least one minute. why doesn’t anyone else feel the same way i do? people plan their future without any anxiety and i don’t understand it. why are you planning a cruise for 2 years from now when you could possibly crash in your car on the way there? why are you planning on attending undergrad school when you could get shot tomorrow? why are you beginning things that could abruptly end? why are we living just to die? what am i supposed to do with these thoughts? put them inside of my purse and eat them as snacks whenever the government decides that im too old for assistance? do i spit these words into a bottle douce them in alcohol then chug them back inside until i get poisoning and see the light? what do i do with the amount of thoughts that haunt me every night?
i can’t do anything. it’s the most freeing and dismal thing ive had to realize. i still don’t think i realize it because i cry at any thought of an end-of-the-world situation. i can’t do anything and i can’t escape. if there were a way to make people immortal scientists would’ve done it by now. i just have to accept my fate. these thoughts make me feel like a prisoner on death row screaming and pleading for the electric shock to implode on itself as soon as it reaches an inch away from my forehead. i don’t know what to do. i don’t know how to prevent it from making me sad every day. i want out, but i can’t get out. i don’t know how to end this letter. i just want things to get better. i want to come to terms with these thoughts instead of pushing them away. i want to be the average joe. i don’t want mortality to run my life like a big soccer game. i watch the shot clock as i hyperventilate from my bed. i don’t want to go to sleep anymore.
okay well… if there’s one positive note that i can clench onto as a send off it’s that i’m glad that we’ve invented chocolate. it’s the best creation ever. sweet treats. if humans weren’t here then there’d be no chocolate. or at least any as good as the bars i get from the grocery store. i love those. and nutella. and chocolate wafers. i’d die for one of those. i’m happy again. goodnight. sweet dreams my little mortals. we’re all gonna be alright.