For context: we have two kids age 8 and 5.
Just back from 10 nights at POFQ, our first ever Disney trip. Overall really liked the hotel, it's a shame they had a pipe burst in their swimming pool and it was being repaired for most of our stay, but it was still a really nice place. Swimming pool at Riverside was only a 10 min walk away.
I had a good outline of our itinerary for the whole stay written up before we left with plenty of ADRs however, however what we actually did was quite different.
Wrote up as much as I could remember, the exact order of events in particular is a bit muddy but I did my best.
Day 1: Arrive in the early evening, went to the pool, had inner in the food hall, went to bed.
Day 2: Genie + at Magic Kingdom. Totally screwed up EE that day because the park opened at 8am that day which caught me off guard, but aside from not rope-dropping Seven Dwarves as planned, we still got SO much done that day.
Arrived at 8am park opening.
Jungle Cruise
Big Thunder Mountain x 2
Pirates of the Carribbean
Ariel
Barnstormer x 2
Dumbo
Genie + Peter Pan
Laugh Floor
Genie + Buzz Lightyear
Peoplemover
Genie + Space Mountain/Speedway (in two parts since my youngest didn't go on it, I took both my kids to speedway while my husband had his turn)
Big Thunder again
Small World (but son needed toilet in queue so we left and husband and daughter stayed)
Then we went back into Smallworld while daughter and husband did Barnstormer again.
Genie + Winnie the Pooh.
Dinner at Skipper Canteen - so good!
We also watched the parade that day but it was sooo hot, we opted for a poorer view from a main street shop in the shade. Was not worth sticking out the heat for the length of time you would need to get an optimal view. I think trying to go our very first day was a mistake because we weren't acclimatised at all yet.
The longest queue we had that day was probably for Smallworld. Everything moved really quickly! Was also happy with Genie+.
Day 2: Animal Kingdom
Had entry issues and needed cards re-assigned at entry so kinda messed up FOP EE rope drop but husband and daughter persevered anyway. Son and I did Na'vi River and explored Pandora and stared Wilderness Explorers. Spent a LOT of time in Pandora gift shop.
Gorilla Trek
Wildlife Express and Rafiki's Planet Watch.
Festival of the Lion King (so good!)
It's Tough to be a Bug
Triceratops Spin
Had really nice homey feeling cookie and gigantic ice cream in Dinoland
Dinosaur (3 of us loved this ride, my son thought it was a bit too scary also it seemed like they should increase the height requirement because he could barely reach the bar to brace himself. I know it's being discontinued though.)
Safari
Dinner at hotel.
Day 3: Hollywood Studios
Successful EE rope drop for Rise of the Resistance
Smuggler's Run
Met Donald Duck
Met Goofy and Max
Star Tours
Runaway Railway (queue was brutal in the sun but it was a great ride)
Indiana Jones Show
Star Tours again
Muppets 3d
Race Academy - did not know what to expect coming in. If we had known we would not have trekked all the way across the park in the heat for that. My son DID like it, but it really didn't feel like it was the same quality as any of the other shows or rides.
Went back to Galaxy's edge for Blue and Green milk + puffbread. All really good. We possibly did Star Tour again, I don't remember haha.
The wait times for everything else being very long + the heat had us going back to the hotel early.
Dinner at hotel.
Day 4: Magic Kingdom Day 2
Tried to EE rope drop 7 dwarves but it was down and we decided not to wait it out (rookie mistake)
Teacups
Thunder Mountain x 2
Split up and did Haunted Mansion/ Smallworld (and got stuck on Smallworld for like 15 minutes)
Haunted mansion crew did Carousel while waiting for us, then we did Carousel after.
Took Daughter to meet Pooh and Tigger while the others did Speedway + People Mover
Back to hotel early for dinner.
Day 5: Genie + Epcot.
Failed to get Guardians Boarding at 7am.
EE Test Track
Mission Space (Green)
Genie + Remy
Genie + Soarin
Moana water walkthrough
Genie + Living with the Land
Got boarding for guardians for about 6pm. Cancelled ADR because of it.
Spaceship Earth
Met Moana
Genie + Nemo
Genie + Figment
Met Figment
Met Joy
Nemo again
Quick Dinner in Mexico
Gran Fiesta Tour (honestly had no idea this was here, really cool building, kids liked the boat ride)
Finally boarding group for guardians called at nearly 7pm.
Really great day! I seemed to be able to book really quickly back to back for Genie +. Kids really liked all the chill dark rides .
Wanted to do Frozen that day but the Genie+ was sold out even before lunch.
At this point we are really just trying to get things we missed
Day 6: Magic Kingdom Day 3
Successful EE rope drop of Seven Dwarves. Said 75 min wait when we entered but it really wasn't too bad, maybe 30-45. This ride had amazing theming, but was lacking as a coaster.
Teacups
Split up and 2 of us did astral orbiter that had a wait time of 25 minutes, and the other 2 did space mountain with a wait time of 35 minutes. Space mountain finished first!
Carousel
Swiss Family Treehouse
Enchanted Tiki Room
Magic Carpet - this seemed to be my son's favourite of this style ride. He's been talking about magic carpets evey day since.
We actually had a boarding time for Tron but the kids got fed up of the heat so we gave up and cancelled or place in the virtual queue.
Took the train back to the entrance. Very pleasant.
Dinner at hotel
Day 7
Epcot Day 2
We really wanted to do Cosmic Rewind again and do Frozen since we missed it the other day.
We failed to get a 7am boarding so bought an ILL for 11:30
EE rope drop at Frozen, which was down and they tried to get us to go elsewhere but it was open by about 8:45.
Gran Fiesta Tour
Met Asha
We were going to go do Soarin but we got distracted by a giant Joffrey's donut and a squirrel that was fun to watch, and then there was a minor child meltdown so we had a long break before heading to our ILL for Cosmic Rewind. Totally worth the cost.
I tried one last time to see if the kids would explore the World Showcase but they voted to go to the waterpark instead.
We went back to the hotel, then off to Typhoon Lagoon where 3/4 of us got minor scrapes in the wave pool, but kids loved it and would have gone back a second day.
Went back to Disney Springs and got dinner at Chicken Guy. Probably the best fast food I have ever had.
​
Day 8
Animal Kingdom Day 2
This was a lot of running around chasing short queues. Genie + would have been really good for us at this park.
EE rope drop Everest x 2. Was really good but going backwards made my stomach a bit iffy.
Na'vi River
Safari (finally saw an elephant!)
Nemo Show
Lion King Show again
Met Dug (first character my son was actually excited to meet)
Maharajah Jungle Trek
Back to Disney Springs for Dinner. Went to Pizza Ponte so we could all choose a different topping of pizza. Also walked around and heard live music before we left.
Took daughter to Happily Ever After fireworks that night. Stood above the railway station for a quick escape at the end.
Day 9
Last day :(
Genie + Hollywood Studios
Genie + didn't seem to work as well at this park, it seemed at Epcot I could always book after entering a ride and we used it a lot but at HS it seemed strictly 2 hours apart. Maybe I am just not seeing it clearly.
On reflection , next time I would probably do Slinky Dog at EE followed by Runaway Railway and buy an ILL for Rise and skip Genie + if I was looking to save some money. I would de-prioritise Toy Story Mania next time, but our first day we missed all of the Toy Story area.
EE rope drop Rise of the Resistance. Pretty sure we were on the ride before EE even officially started.
Smuggler's Run
Met The Mandalorian and Grogu (probably the best meet!)
Star Tours
Alien Flying Saucers
Droid Depot
Genie + Slinky dog
Beauty and the Beast show
Met Chewbacca
Met Pluto
Genie + Runaway Railway
Star Tours again
Genie + Toy Story Mania. Ride broke down while in queue. Waited for ages before the put us on the other side, almost missed our next booking.
Oga's Canteen. Tried 4 different non-alcoholic drinks and they were all good. It was super cool. Only downside is we had a high table (standing only) and my son couldn't see the top of the table/anything and he was pretty unimpressed by the whole situation. Flying Saucers Mama Melrose for dinner. Muppets 3d Fantasmic. I read 15 min early "at least" aimed for 30 minutes early, and the place was well more than half full by then. Took a really long time to leave. If there is a next time I would go much earlier and bring snacks just to make getting out easier. Overall I was hugely impressed with the level of detail in everything, and all the cast members were amazing. It was a really cool experience, and it's hard to imagine never going back. If there is a next time I really want to explore the world showcase and do more sit-down meals. We had a lot planned but the kids didn't have the stamina for being in the park all day so we cancelled almost all of them. We also ended up doing parks in a somewhat different order than I initially planned. Kids got really tired of travelling on buses, which is also why we didn't break in the middle of the day and then going back to the parks. Would look at skyliner options next time. Things we didn't get to do:
Try dole whip (never noticed a place to buy it, ice cream was often an urgent necessity so didn't seek it out specifically) Tron (too hot to wait for boarding group when it was already day 3 at magic Kingdom and basically felt done.) Explore World Showcase (too much walking for few rides, from kids' perspective) Eat for fun more (we ate more out of necessity but found fun snacks when convenient) Tower of Terror (queues too long and genie + bookings too late) Frozen Singalong (timing never seemed to work out) Luminous (son had no interest in late night shows so we only did a couple things at night.) Take ride on skyliner. Something that surprised me: queues for popular rides stayed long even at 9pm. Couldn't see a viable alternative to EE rope drop + genie plus to get all the big rides "done" except perhaps if you had extended evening hours, but that would not have worked with our kids. Number of beignets consumed during our stay: 12
​

The situation:
Me and my ex-fiance broke up a month before she gave birth to our child. Initially we agreed that I was going to be at the birth. However, after we broke up, she did not want me there. I came to terms with this and was okay with it as this was her right/choice. We were still in communication during this time (after we broke up), and we were civil, even flirtatious. Leading up to the birth she got paranoid that I was cheating on her or sleeping with other women as my location was not at my house but on the street behind me, i explained to her that iPhone geolocation isn't always accurate, and i even offered to face time her to prove that I am where I am but she did not respond to my requsts. My ex's phone stopped working so i had no contact with her for 1 weeks straight out of concern i called her mother to see if she was okay as they live together, and her mother started slandering me saying that i got her pregnant and now ive left her a month before she was due, the breakup was mutual and agreed on both sides, and for our child we planned on co parenting effectivly.She started calling me a bitch and slandering my religon (islam) and became racist even though her daughter is half white and half indian, she also threatened me with force and threatend the police on me even though i hadnt done anything. I let the abuse slide as i didnt want to winde up any tension or make the sitatuion/breakup worse. My friends advised me to apologise for the hurt the breakup caused which i did.
1 week later, My ex texted me the night before at like 1am she was induced into labour that she was going to be induced and i asked her if she needs anything or wants me there, she said there isnt anything she needs and she said not to come and said it can take days until our son is born. 4 hours after this text she had given birth, but i had not been told this, and i had missed my sons birth. I recieve a text from bitter mother the next day that "he is here now come and see him". I was the last person to be contacted, her friends and family were all notifed immediatley, but they willingly contacted me late knowing that i wanted to be there (not in delivery room but in the hospital). The friends and family all saw my son before me and i knew this because of social media posts. I travelled from birmingham to london imediatly to see our son. When i arrived at the hospital, I was bitter because i was notifed last so i decided not to speak to her family and friends and see my son as the nurses allowed me. Upon picking up my son, My exs grandmother, my sons great grand mother, said "he will not be raised muslim, this is england not india, we dont do that here", her mother then proceedes to say he will eat what his grandmother feeds him, knowing i want my son to be muslim and eat halal food. She says why werent you here earlier, why are you here hours later making out to seem that i was some neglectful father who didnt care, her grand mother then policed me on how to pick up my child, how to hold him and how to change nappies, and threatend to kick me out, the nurse overheard this and said to her that i have a right to be here and i have 24hrs viewing access. then there was silence.
. They kept sayiing you should have been in london already we told you to book an airbnb in london, but i planned on booking it the day she was going into labour as that is when my paternity leave was due to start, i could not afford to pay a 300-400 so i can be there a week early.
I couldnt speak to my ex when I was at the hospital as they were in seperate wards, my son was in a special care unit and she was in her ward. So i spent a few hours with him. After the day had finished, it was too late and she had gone to sleep so i didnt want to disturb her so i went to my the hotel i booked.
I sent my ex a nice text saying thank you for delivering our son .etc and send gifts and flowers. I told her that my friends and family are coming down the next day from birmingham to see him. I walk into the hospital, and my exs mother started swearing at me saying im so horrible for not speaking to my ex after she had just given birth, and kept portaying me to be a Horrible personnt, she said that the messages and gifts dont mean anything even though my intentions in my text were me being grateful and thankful for the delivery of our son. She said your family and friends arent allowed to come, they have no right to be here, and said that she is going to get me banned from seeing my son if they come. I didnt believe or take serious what she said so ignored her and went to see my ex who was now with our son. my ex didnt speak to me once even though i tried to speak. A few hours later i went to grab lunch, and my family had already set of at this time. I told my ex that they are coming down to see him, and she said no, they dont have her permission to our son, eventhough no one from her side asked for my permission to vist and take photos. I couldnt believe what she was saying, she said that I couldnt see him at this point. Her mother overheard this, and said they she will ban them from coming but i laughed saying how and why are they doing this? I then get told that they will raise a safeguarding claim so im not allowed in the hospital. after my lunch i call the the head nurse to see if he is okay and if i can come down, and i am told that there is a safe guarding claim, and i cannot see my son, and they cannot dicuss anything about him to me as i am not on the birth certficate/i am not married. Eventhough this safeguarding claim is absolutely fictiuous. My family arrive and i had to turn them away. Since that day (2nd day of son being born), I have not seen him or heard of him. My ex has gone no contact and is not replying to any of my texts even though has read them. Throughout this entire situation my friends advised me to "bite my tongue and keep a level head" and ignore the abuse as it isnt the time or the place to have such discussions.
In navigating this challenging situation, my main concern is ensuring my son's well-being and maintaining a meaningful presence in his life. Despite my efforts to communicate and explore mediation options, my ex-partner's lack of response has added to the complexity of the situation.
Given the circumstances, I'm seriously considering seeking either full custody of my son, shared custody if that is a thing in the UK. I don't have access to the birth certificate but I know that they have no disclosed me on it. I've gathered compelling evidence regarding my ex-partner's living situation and behaviors, including substance abuse and instability within her household. It's clear that my son's best interests are at stake, and I'm committed to providing him with a safe and nurturing environment.
In terms of my own situation, I'm fortunate to have stable housing, financial stability, and flexibility in my schedule due to being a full-time student with part-time work (1 year left until i am a full time teacher, she isnt working and does not plan to and live on social welfare for the foreseeable future). I'm prepared to provide the stability and support that my son needs.
As I weigh my options, I'm considering pursuing shared custody initially, with the possibility of addressing schooling arrangements in court later on. Alternatively, I'm contemplating seeking full custody from the outset, given the concerns about my ex-partner's ability to provide a suitable environment for our son's upbringing. I do not want to take my child away completely from his mother as this is not right/islamic at all, I want us to coparent effectively so our son is raised with both parents. but this no contact thing makes it seem impossible. she has rejected to showing me the birth certificate and refused medations, (the mediator called her)
Ultimately, my chances of winning full custody will depend on various factors, including the strength of the evidence I've gathered and the court's assessment of what is in my son's best interests. Seeking guidance from a legal expert who specialises in family law will be crucial as I navigate this process.
My primary focus remains on ensuring that my son receives the love, care, and stability he deserves, regardless of the legal complexities involved.
Update: I have also contacted the police about the abusive behaviours from the my ex's mother. Id like to also mention that my son has a serious heart defect, and my exs mother is a habitual smoker regularly smoking cannabis and cigarettes, which is not ideal and can worsen his heart. he is due for an operation but I don't know when this is but I know its within the coming months. but I do not want him in a household that will hurt his health due to innapproiate care.

The situation:
Me and my ex-fiance broke up a month before she gave birth to our child. Initially we agreed that I was going to be at the birth. However, after we broke up, she did not want me there. I came to terms with this and was okay with it as this was her right/choice. We were still in communication during this time (after we broke up), and we were civil, even flirtatious. Leading up to the birth she got paranoid that I was cheating on her or sleeping with other women as my location was not at my house but on the street behind me, i explained to her that iPhone geolocation isn't always accurate, and i even offered to face time her to prove that I am where I am but she did not respond to my requsts. My ex's phone stopped working so i had no contact with her for 1 weeks straight out of concern i called her mother to see if she was okay as they live together, and her mother started slandering me saying that i got her pregnant and now ive left her a month before she was due, the breakup was mutual and agreed on both sides, and for our child we planned on co parenting effectivly.She started calling me a bitch and slandering my religon (islam) and became racist even though her daughter is half white and half indian, she also threatened me with force and threatend the police on me even though i hadnt done anything. I let the abuse slide as i didnt want to winde up any tension or make the sitatuion/breakup worse. My friends advised me to apologise for the hurt the breakup caused which i did.
1 week later, My ex texted me the night before at like 1am she was induced into labour that she was going to be induced and i asked her if she needs anything or wants me there, she said there isnt anything she needs and she said not to come and said it can take days until our son is born. 4 hours after this text she had given birth, but i had not been told this, and i had missed my sons birth. I recieve a text from bitter mother the next day that "he is here now come and see him". I was the last person to be contacted, her friends and family were all notifed immediatley, but they willingly contacted me late knowing that i wanted to be there (not in delivery room but in the hospital). The friends and family all saw my son before me and i knew this because of social media posts. I travelled from birmingham to london imediatly to see our son. When i arrived at the hospital, I was bitter because i was notifed last so i decided not to speak to her family and friends and see my son as the nurses allowed me. Upon picking up my son, My exs grandmother, my sons great grand mother, said "he will not be raised muslim, this is england not india, we dont do that here", her mother then proceedes to say he will eat what his grandmother feeds him, knowing i want my son to be muslim and eat halal food. She says why werent you here earlier, why are you here hours later making out to seem that i was some neglectful father who didnt care, her grand mother then policed me on how to pick up my child, how to hold him and how to change nappies, and threatend to kick me out, the nurse overheard this and said to her that i have a right to be here and i have 24hrs viewing access. then there was silence.
. They kept sayiing you should have been in london already we told you to book an airbnb in london, but i planned on booking it the day she was going into labour as that is when my paternity leave was due to start, i could not afford to pay a 300-400 so i can be there a week early.
I couldnt speak to my ex when I was at the hospital as they were in seperate wards, my son was in a special care unit and she was in her ward. So i spent a few hours with him. After the day had finished, it was too late and she had gone to sleep so i didnt want to disturb her so i went to my the hotel i booked.
I sent my ex a nice text saying thank you for delivering our son .etc and send gifts and flowers. I told her that my friends and family are coming down the next day from birmingham to see him. I walk into the hospital, and my exs mother started swearing at me saying im so horrible for not speaking to my ex after she had just given birth, and kept portaying me to be a Horrible, she said that the messages and gifts dont mean anything even though my intentions in my text were me being grateful and thankful for the delivery of our son. She said your family and friends arent allowed to come, they have no right to be here, and said that she is going to get me banned from seeing my son if they come. I didnt believe or take serious what she said so ignored her and went to see my ex who was now with our son. my ex didnt speak to me once even though i tried to speak. A few hours later i went to grab lunch, and my family had already set of at this time. I told my ex that they are coming down to see him, and she said no, they dont have her permission to our son, eventhough no one from her side asked for my permission to vist and take photos. I couldnt believe what she was saying, she said that I couldnt see him at this point. Her mother overheard this, and said they she will ban them from coming but i laughed saying how and why are they doing this? I then get told that they will raise a safeguarding claim so im not allowed in the hospital. after my lunch i call the the head nurse to see if he is okay and if i can come down, and i am told that there is a safe guarding claim, and i cannot see my son, and they cannot dicuss anything about him to me as i am not on the birth certficate/i am not married. Eventhough this safeguarding claim is absolutely fictiuous. My family arrive and i had to turn them away. Since that day (2nd day of son being born), I have not seen him or heard of him. My ex has gone no contact and is not replying to any of my texts even though has read them. Throughout this entire situation my friends advised me to "bite my tongue and keep a level head" and ignore the abuse as it isnt the time or the place to have such discussions.
In navigating this challenging situation, my main concern is ensuring my son's well-being and maintaining a meaningful presence in his life. Despite my efforts to communicate and explore mediation options, my ex-partner's lack of response has added to the complexity of the situation.
Given the circumstances, I'm seriously considering seeking either full custody of my son, shared custody if that is a thing in the UK. I don't have access to the birth certificate but I know that they have no disclosed me on it. I've gathered compelling evidence regarding my ex-partner's living situation and behaviors, including substance abuse and instability within her household. It's clear that my son's best interests are at stake, and I'm committed to providing him with a safe and nurturing environment.
In terms of my own situation, I'm fortunate to have stable housing, financial stability, and flexibility in my schedule due to being a full-time student with part-time work (1 year left until i am a full time teacher, she isnt working and does not plan to and live on social welfare for the foreseeable future). I'm prepared to provide the stability and support that my son needs.
As I weigh my options, I'm considering pursuing shared custody initially, with the possibility of addressing schooling arrangements in court later on. Alternatively, I'm contemplating seeking full custody from the outset, given the concerns about my ex-partner's ability to provide a suitable environment for our son's upbringing. I do not want to take my child away completely from his mother as this is not right/islamic at all, I want us to coparent effectively so our son is raised with both parents. but this no contact thing makes it seem impossible. she has rejected to showing me the birth certificate and refused medations, (the mediator called her)
Ultimately, my chances of winning full custody will depend on various factors, including the strength of the evidence I've gathered and the court's assessment of what is in my son's best interests. Seeking guidance from a legal expert who specialises in family law will be crucial as I navigate this process.
My primary focus remains on ensuring that my son receives the love, care, and stability he deserves, regardless of the legal complexities involved.
Update: I have also contacted the police about the abusive behaviours from the my ex's mother. Id like to also mention that my son has a serious heart defect, and my exs mother is a habitual smoker regularly smoking cannabis and cigarettes, which is not ideal and can worsen his heart. he is due for an operation but I don't know when this is but I know its within the coming months. but I do not want him in a household that will hurt his health due to innapproiate care.

IGSRep Page 9
IGSRep Page 10
List of games I have for trading (all are Steam keys unless specified):
Aces & Adventures (might keep)
ADOM (Ancient Domains Of Mystery)
AI War: Fleet Command
Archvale
Blackguards
Boreal Blade
Calico
Cosmic Osmo and the Worlds Beyond the Mackerel
Demon Turf
Dodgeball Academia (might keep)
Evan's Remains
Expeditions: Rome (might keep)
Fae Tactics
Foretales (might keep)
Fort Triumph
Fractured Lands
From Space
Honey, I Joined a Cult
Hot Brass
Hotshot Racing
Ikenfell
Infinite Air with Mark McMorris
Just Cause 3 XXL Edition (might keep)
Kraken Academy!!
Last Call BBS
Lethal League
Meeple Station
Millennium: A New Hope
Othercide
Ozymandias: Bronze Age Empire Sim
Patch Quest (might keep)
Peaky Blinders: Mastermind
Per Aspera
Planescape: Torment Enhanced Edition
Poker Night 2
Police Stories
Railroad Corporation
Rapture Rejects + Humble Exclusive "Safari Outfit" DLC
Regular Human Basketball
Resident Evil HD REMASTER
Resident Evil Revelations 2 - Episode 1: Penal Colony
Revita
Ring of Pain
Rollerdrome (EU key)
Siege Survival: Gloria Victis
SimpleRockets 2
Size Matters
Souldiers
Spelunx and the Caves of Mr. Seudo
Swag and Sorcery
S.W.I.N.E. HD Remaster
Telltale Texas Hold'Em
The Ambassador: Fractured Timelines
The Haunted Island, a Frog Detective Game
The Life and Suffering of Sir Brante
The Pale Beyond
Tin Can
Turbo Golf Racing
Vane
Void Bastards
We Happy Few
Low tier (all are Steam keys)
Arson and Plunder: Unleashed
Corporate Lifestyle Simulator
Gun Monkeys (not on Steam anymore)
Huntsman: The Orphanage
Puzzle Chronicles
Rush for Glory
Russian Superhero Dead Ivan
Shiplord
Skilltree Saga
Three Dead Zed

I’m 10 years + down the road with R and I’m struggling. I’d love to know how other long term Rs are getting on with issues like this one. Sorry if this is TMI or long.
We have lots that is going good for us, years 3-7 of R were amazing and I felt stronger than ever and in fact, after the tricky first 2 years, until this year I never regretted for a second deciding to R.
We did then hit a few bumps in the road with one of our kids over the last few years and I have been struggling with that because my WH cannot seem to communicate with me at all if conversations feel likely to be “difficult” for him. I work too but in a less financially lucrative role than him since we had the last kids (who were twins) so it tends to be me whose life is organised round his and the family’s needs.
In addition, I did not adjust well when after the pandemic quiet life, he returned to drinking while socialising at work and staying away from home in hotels for work more often. He had minimised this quite a lot after the affair as it was so strongly associated with opportunities he took to have sex with his AP. When he started doing it again it was a trigger for me and his response was one of despair - when would I ever get over this, he was a different man and would not do that again, he’s never good enough etc etc. I end up both apologising to him but also deeply resentful that somehow I’m in the wrong again.
He stopped drinking at work functions for a bit, started again and then stopped again but only because he felt forced to by me being upset, he was very clear that he shouldn’t need to do that. This has never made me happy or reassured me, I now feel pushed into this awful role of the controlling wife when I’m really looking for him to care enough about me not to actually want to drink at work when he’s staying away in a hotel.
I would rather he did what he wanted and we separated but he is very strongly against that and gets quite emotional and sad if I suggest we might both be happier. If I leave, it will be my “fault” at this point because he wants to stay together. Our children don’t know what happened because they were very young at the time and I don’t think that it would be helpful for them but that leaves us in a situation where everyone knows it is me that is unhappy now. I am also frightened to leave because my financial position is unprotected and I feel quite alone in the UK.
My family in NZ would help me but my children are teens/ young adults now so wouldn’t be happy to return to my home country with me. And, fool that I am, I love him, he’s my best friend, when things are good they’re great.
At Christmas we hit an all time low and for the first time I shouted at him in front of the kids about how I feel so abandoned when he can’t talk to me when I am struggling. I felt more and more disconnected from him and started the year in a terrible place crying, lonely and saying how suicidal I felt/ trying to tell him I needed his support with our kids. On that day he didn’t talk to me but he did sit with me and then he just never mentioned what I’d said again.
This is how he treats most of my outbursts of feeling - if I seem distressed enough he might stay with me for a bit of time but he won’t talk about it again unless I do. He might go off and do some random act of service so I kind of know he’s heard but it is hard to focus on that when I want him to talk with me.
Fast forward a week or two and my WH asked to bring a work colleague (also a BW) round on a Saturday for us to give her some emotional support because her mum was away for a fortnight and she was struggling looking after her toddlers by herself, he said she was having such a tough time. She had split up with her WH just before Christmas because he had been having an affair. She lives in her home city and is surrounded by friends and family who love and care for her. She came round and was chatting to me, telling me how it was for the best as they had been drifting apart for a while, that she had been set up with someone by a friend and they’d been texting/ had a date planned. She was not actually by herself, she was going over to her sisters to stay the night and to sit in a hot tub after she’d been at our place.
As I was sitting chatting with her and holding her baby, I had an almost outer body experience where I was at the same time looking down on us talking and also floating above comparing her situation with mine when I was there 12 years ago.
I was alone in a new city where I knew no one except my PIL who had made it clear as soon as we arrived that they didn’t want to offer me any practical support, I had four kids aged 5 and under, my support network of friends were all in the city where we had lived previously, I had lost my job in the move so that my husband could be closer to his parents/ pursue a better job in this city and my father was at the end of his life on the other side of the world a 24 hour flight away.
My husband then began an affair with a younger co-worker and had her round to our house to play with our babies and f*** in our bed while I was home in NZ visiting my family / my sick dad for three weeks. When I got back and discovered what had happened the same day I returned, I had absolutely no one to turn to and only my husband to rely on. He didn’t immediately choose me but thought about it for a few days. He’d planned to go travelling with this woman and had been playing happy families with my babies who weren’t even two years old yet - it felt like he’d been practicing to see whether she would make a good stepmother for them.
I thought about returning to my home, but our initial MC treated me like I was the one suggesting doing something awful to my WH and I never felt ok pursuing that then. My PIL and SIL were not unkind, but they had not supported me before so it was hard for me to turn to them in the circumstances. I had no one. It was the most terrible time of my life and I did try to take some pills one afternoon after drinking too much.
In the day we had his colleague round, I kept thinking, would I have stayed with him if I had been around family and friends. I was also so hurt that he could see her struggles and ask me to help her but not ask me if there was anything he could do to help me. Since then I seem to be locked in a trauma kind of response, crying, reliving stupid details I haven’t thought of in 10 years, checking AP’s work situation etc (pain shopping) and I haven’t slept through the night in months.
I have also been upset for a couple of years by the lack of communication between us as I associate him having had the affair in the first place as a response to my being low when I was in a new city/ had lost my job/ looked after our twins and a toddler on my own all day/ my dad being diagnosed with terminal cancer. He struggled to deal with how I was feeling and withdrew from me, found his AP who was more able to meet his needs/ fun to be around.
This is what emerged in MC, that he couldn’t cope with emotions due to FOO issues. This means I really struggle to voice my feelings in a way that gets me the support I need now because he has withdrawn from me over the last two years during issues with our child and I am fearful of being too much for him again. I know I do it badly, I wanted MC to help me learn better ways of communicating too, not just to deal with how he withdraws from me.
I asked my WH to go to therapy with me a couple of times over the last two years to deal with the communication issues but he didn’t want to do MC because he said he felt unprotected in the two sets of MC we had in the early days.
I have also asked him if we could try just checking in with each other once a week but he is always unwilling and there is always a reason but it boils down to he doesn’t want to do it. He has said it feels forced and as if he has to say something other than he’s fine. He has also said it’s too difficult with his work/ our lives to predict when he’s free. Most recently he has said he’s asked his friends but no one else has to do that. I have said it’s what I need, a regular space where we talk about how we are going. Our MC suggested it 10 years or so ago and I have never stopped wanting that or raising it. However, it’s like this thing in his mind that it would be negative or difficult so he just doesn’t do it except once or twice when things get difficult again. Which then reinforces that it is a negative space. There were a few times we did it a year or so ago where it felt companionable to me so I was devastated when he just stopped because work got difficult for him and needed all his attention.
I feel I am at the bottom of his priorities after the kids, work, meeting football team parents, his parents, work colleagues. Am I mad to ask for that space once a week for an hour together?
Also we have one day of full on intensive therapy planned (a compromise to fit his schedule/fears about traditional MC) and I hope to talk this through with him again there but I am starting to wonder if we are wasting our time/ money.
I don’t know if I’m looking for support or a wake up call but I’d love to hear from long term people in R who have faced similar issues.

timestamp
Hey all! Looking to sell the following things:
JJW Cloudline Burgundy lightly used. Comes built with PC plate + Prevail Nebulas LF. Comes with 2 extra PCBS (1 brand new, 1 de-soldered). (keycaps not included). Comes with PP plate, Alu plate, FR4 plate, Carbon Fiber half plate. Comes with 3 sets of O-Rings. Comes with OG case + cloth. - 1000$ Shipped OBO.
MatrixLab 6XV 3.0 Corsa PVD Starry Night lightly used. Comes with extra screen covers, foam kit, and entire box originally shipped in- 500$ shipped OBO unbuilt. 650$ built with keycaps.

    REP
Steam profile
IGSRep +118 trades confirmed
SGS Flair +237 trades confirmed
GameTradeREP +24 trades confirmed
       
Payment through Paypal (USD) using Good & Services option. Not accepting other type of payment (bitcoin, Venmo, etc). If you want to pay using F&F option fees are on your own (I'm from EU).
     
Press Ctrl + F to search games in the list
   
  Want List

• Huntdown
• We Were Here Forever
• THE DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: LITTLE HOPE

 
   
   
SPECIAL PACK This 12 games for 1$

• Western Press Mk Cans II Character DLC
• Western Press
• Kholat
• 140
• MirrorMoon EP
• Contraption Maker
• Air Guardians
• Gentlemen!
• Gravity Badgers
• Ignite
• Tank Operations - European Campaign
• McGuffin Curse

5$ * Earth Defense Force 4.1 The Shadow of New Despair + a ton of DLC * DLC list here
   
10$
Game deslisted from Steam

• Ticket to Ride: Classic Edition + DLC Europe + France + UK + Asia + India + Nordic + USA 1910 + Switzerland

   
0.80$ each one
OFFER Buy 5 games of the this list for 3$
OFFER Buy 10 games of the this list for 4$
   

• 140
• 3079 – Block Action RPG FPS
• A Juggler's Tale
• Age of Steel: Recharge
• Air Guardians
• Akane the Kunoichi
• Axis Game Factory
• Battlesloths 2025: The Great Pizza Wars
• Blob From Space
• Clickr
• Combat Wings: Battle of Britain
• Conan Chop Chop
• Contraption Maker
• Dark Raid
• Dark Shadows - Army of Evil
• Death Track: Resurrection
• Demolition Master 3D
• Depths of Fear: Knossos
• Divekick
• Doc Clock: Toasted Sandwich of Time
• Dock Clock
• Dungeons: The Eye of Draconus
• dUpLicity ~Beyond the Lies~
• Dynamite Jack
• Endorlight
• Evan's Remains
• Faces of War
• Fun with Ragdolls: The Game
• Fun with Ragdolls
• Fury Unleashed
• Game Corp DX
• Gentlemen
• Girls Like Robots
• Gravity Badgers
• Haegemonia: Legions of Iron
• Haegemonia: The Solon Heritage
• Heileen 1: Sail Away
• Humanity Asset
• Ignite
• Into the Void
• Kholat
• Kingdom Elemental
• Love Letter
• MacGuffin's Curse
• Mayhem Intergalactic
• Memories of a Vagabond
• Metrocide
• Millennium: A New Hope
• MirrorMoon EP
• N.P.P.D. RUSH - The milk of Ultraviolet
• Nether: Resurrected
• Nightsky
• Ocean City Racing
• Out of Reach
• Particulars
• Party of Sin
• POSTAL 2
• Praetorians
• Random Access Murder
• Recovery Search & Rescue Simulation
• Reflex
• Relicta
• Retimed
• Rover Mechanic Simulator
• SanctuaryRPG: Black Edition
• Shadows: Price for Our Sins Bonus Edition
• Shark Attack Deathmatch 2
• Shelter 2
• Shoppe Keep
• shutshimi
• Sid Meier’s Ace Patrol: Pacific Skies
• Size Matters
• SOL Exodus
• Space Trader: Merchant Marine
• Spirits
• Splendor
• STANDBY
• STCC II DLC for Race07
• Steam Bandits Outpost Explorer Equipment
• Still There
• Stonerid
• Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
• Super 3-D Noah's Ark
• Super Killer Hornet: Resurrection
• Sweezy Gunner
• Symphony
• Tank Operations - European Campaign
• The Great Jitters: Pudding Panic
• The Uncertain: Last Quiet Day
• The Wild Eight
• THOTH
• ThreadSpace: Hyperbol
• TIMEframe
• Total Pro Golf 3
• Uriels Chasm
• Valfaris
• Werewolf: The Apocalypse — Heart of the Forest
• Western Press + Mk Cans II Character DLC
• Zombie Tycoon 2: Brainhov's Revenge
• Destroyer: The U-Boat Hunter
• Cities: Skylines DLC - K-pop Station
• Cities: Skylines DLC - Airports
• Cities: Skylines DLC- JADIA Radio
• Cities: Skylines DLC - African Vibes
• Encased: A Sci-Fi Post-Apocalyptic RPG

   
1.75$
OFFER Buy 3 games of this second list for 4$

• The Red Lantern
• OTXO
• Rebel Inc: Escalation
• Kraken Academy
• Black Skylands
• Small World + Spider Web + Cursed + Royal Bonus
• Terraformers EU
• Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3
• King Of The Castle
• Amanda the Adventurer
• Loddlenaut
• Steelrising

   

    REP
Steam profile
IGSRep +118 trades confirmed
SGS Flair +237 trades confirmed
GameTradeREP +24 trades confirmed
       
Payment through Paypal (USD) using Good & Services option. Not accepting other type of payment (bitcoin, Venmo, etc). If you want to pay using F&F option fees are on your own (I'm from EU).
     
Press Ctrl + F to search games in the list
   
  Want List

• Huntdown
• We Were Here Forever
• THE DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: LITTLE HOPE

 
   
   
SPECIAL PACK This 12 games for 1$

• Western Press Mk Cans II Character DLC
• Western Press
• Kholat
• 140
• MirrorMoon EP
• Contraption Maker
• Air Guardians
• Gentlemen!
• Gravity Badgers
• Ignite
• Tank Operations - European Campaign
• McGuffin Curse

5$ * Earth Defense Force 4.1 The Shadow of New Despair + a ton of DLC * DLC list here
   
10$
Game deslisted from Steam

• Ticket to Ride: Classic Edition + DLC Europe + France + UK + Asia + India + Nordic + USA 1910 + Switzerland

   
0.80$ each one
OFFER Buy 5 games of the this list for 3$
OFFER Buy 10 games of the this list for 4$
   

• 140
• 3079 – Block Action RPG FPS
• A Juggler's Tale
• Age of Steel: Recharge
• Air Guardians
• Akane the Kunoichi
• Axis Game Factory
• Battlesloths 2025: The Great Pizza Wars
• Blob From Space
• Clickr
• Combat Wings: Battle of Britain
• Conan Chop Chop
• Contraption Maker
• Dark Raid
• Dark Shadows - Army of Evil
• Death Track: Resurrection
• Demolition Master 3D
• Depths of Fear: Knossos
• Divekick
• Doc Clock: Toasted Sandwich of Time
• Dock Clock
• Dungeons: The Eye of Draconus
• dUpLicity ~Beyond the Lies~
• Dynamite Jack
• Endorlight
• Evan's Remains
• Faces of War
• Fun with Ragdolls: The Game
• Fun with Ragdolls
• Fury Unleashed
• Game Corp DX
• Gentlemen
• Girls Like Robots
• Gravity Badgers
• Haegemonia: Legions of Iron
• Haegemonia: The Solon Heritage
• Heileen 1: Sail Away
• Humanity Asset
• Ignite
• Into the Void
• Kholat
• Kingdom Elemental
• Love Letter
• MacGuffin's Curse
• Mayhem Intergalactic
• Memories of a Vagabond
• Metrocide
• Millennium: A New Hope
• MirrorMoon EP
• N.P.P.D. RUSH - The milk of Ultraviolet
• Nether: Resurrected
• Nightsky
• Ocean City Racing
• Out of Reach
• Particulars
• Party of Sin
• POSTAL 2
• Praetorians
• Random Access Murder
• Recovery Search & Rescue Simulation
• Reflex
• Relicta
• Retimed
• Rover Mechanic Simulator
• SanctuaryRPG: Black Edition
• Shadows: Price for Our Sins Bonus Edition
• Shark Attack Deathmatch 2
• Shelter 2
• Shoppe Keep
• shutshimi
• Sid Meier’s Ace Patrol: Pacific Skies
• Size Matters
• SOL Exodus
• Space Trader: Merchant Marine
• Spirits
• Splendor
• STANDBY
• STCC II DLC for Race07
• Steam Bandits Outpost Explorer Equipment
• Still There
• Stonerid
• Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
• Super 3-D Noah's Ark
• Super Killer Hornet: Resurrection
• Sweezy Gunner
• Symphony
• Tank Operations - European Campaign
• The Great Jitters: Pudding Panic
• The Uncertain: Last Quiet Day
• The Wild Eight
• THOTH
• ThreadSpace: Hyperbol
• TIMEframe
• Total Pro Golf 3
• Uriels Chasm
• Valfaris
• Werewolf: The Apocalypse — Heart of the Forest
• Western Press + Mk Cans II Character DLC
• Zombie Tycoon 2: Brainhov's Revenge
• Destroyer: The U-Boat Hunter
• Cities: Skylines DLC - K-pop Station
• Cities: Skylines DLC - Airports
• Cities: Skylines DLC- JADIA Radio
• Cities: Skylines DLC - African Vibes
• Encased: A Sci-Fi Post-Apocalyptic RPG

   
1.75$
OFFER Buy 3 games of this second list for 4$

• The Red Lantern
• OTXO
• Rebel Inc: Escalation
• Kraken Academy
• Black Skylands
• Small World + Spider Web + Cursed + Royal Bonus
• Terraformers EU
• Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3
• King Of The Castle
• Amanda the Adventurer
• Loddlenaut
• Steelrising

   

[Many titles are not present here - I shall follow up in the future with another post addressing them]

• King & Queen of the Ring - May 25, 2024 - Jeddah, Saudi Arabia

WWE Undisputed Championship (Paul wiggles his way out of defending U.S Title): Cody Rhodes(c) Vs. Logan Paul
Intercontinental Championship: Sami Zayn(c) Vs. Chad Gable Vs. Bronson Reed
Women's World Championship: Becky Lynch(c) Vs. Liv Morgan
Men's KotR Final: Gunther Vs. Randy Orton
Women's QotR Final: Lyra Valkyria Vs. Tiffany Stratton
World Tag Team Championships: Awesome Truth (Miz & R-Truth)(c) Vs. Judgment Day (Finn Balor & JD McDonagh

• Clash at the Castle - June 15, 2024 - Glasgow, Scotland

WWE Undisputed Championship (Bullet Club Triple Threat + Finn Balor is relatively local i.e - Ireland): Cody Rhodes(c) Vs. Finn Balor Vs. A.J Styles
WWE Women's Championship: Bayley(c) Vs. Tiffany Stratton (QotR Winner)
World Heavyweight Championship: Damien Priest(c) Vs. Drew McIntyre
Intercontinental Championship: Sami Zayn(c) Vs. Gunther Vs. Sheamus
Women's World Championship: Becky Lynch(c) Vs. Liv Morgan w) Dominik Mysterio
United States Championship: Logan Paul(c) Vs. A.J Styles

• Money in the Bank - July 6, 2024 - Toronto, Canada

WWE Undisputed Championship (Undefended - Rhodes story moves back towards Bloodline): Cody Rhodes(c) & Jey Uso & Jimmy Uso Vs. Solo Sikoa & Tama Tongo & Tanga Loa
WWE Women's Championship: Tiffany Stratton(c) Vs. Bayley
World Heavyweight Championship: Drew McIntyre(c) Vs. Damien Priest Vs. Braun Strowman
Intercontinental Championship: Sheamus(c) Vs. Sami Zayn
Women's World Championship: Liv Morgan(c) w) Dominik Mysterio Vs. Lyra Valkyria w) Becky Lynch
United States Championship: Logan Paul(c) Vs. L.A Knight
World Tag Team Championships: Awesome Truth (Miz & R-Truth)(c) Vs. Judgment Day (Finn Balor & JD McDonagh

• SummerSlam - August 3, 2024 - Cleveland, Ohio

[Roman Reigns is scheduled to return to WWE on the Smackdown before SummerSlam. Here, he is confronted by The Rock who officially is named the Real Head of the Table. Roman is beaten down by the New Bloodline and cast out. He disappears once again for some time].
WWE Undisputed Championship (this is the match where The Rock is about to whip Mama Rhodes with the bloodied belt when Stone Colds music hits): Cody Rhodes(c) Vs. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson
WWE Women's Championship: Tiffany Stratton(c) Vs. Bayley Vs. Bianca Belair Vs. Naomi
World Heavyweight Championship (Drew is screwed by a hooded figure on the ropes): Drew McIntyre(c) Vs. CM Punk
[Drew disappears from TV for a while and takes a much needed break]
Intercontinental Championship: Sheamus(c) Vs. Gunther
Women's World Championship (Liv has now inserted herself into Judgement Day as Rheas replacement but Becky is ultimately screwed by a hooded woman): Liv Morgan(c) w) Dominik Mysterio Vs. Becky Lynch w) Lyra Valkyria
United States Championship: L.A Knight(c) Vs. Logan Paul Vs. A.J Styles
[The following night on Raw the hooded man who screwed Drew and the hooded woman who screwed Becky turns out to be none other than Luke Gallows and A.J Lee - the reformation of the Straight Edge Society].

• Bash In Berlin - August 31, 2024 - Berlin, Germany

WWE Undisputed Championship (as King of the Ring Winner Gunther gets to select his title match. He chose to fight Cody in his home region): Cody Rhodes(c) Vs. Gunther
WWE Women's Championship: Tiffany Stratton(c) Vs. Jade Cargill w) Bianca Belair
World Heavyweight Championship: CM Punk(c) Vs. Ilja Dragunov
[After this match, Seth Rollins music hits and he comes out to stare down CM Punk]
Intercontinental Championship: Sheamus(c) Vs. Finn Balor w) J.D McDonagh

• Crown Jewel - October 12, 2024 - Riyadh, Saudi Arabia

WWE Undisputed Championship: Cody Rhodes(c) & Randy Orton
[Randy Orton wins via a Ted DiBiasie Jr interference. Orton turns heel after the match and punts Brandi Rhodes]
WWE Women's Championship: Tiffany Stratton(c) Vs. Bianca Belair Vs. Jade Cargill
World Heavyweight Championship (Undefended in Couples Inter-Gender Match): CM Punk(c) & AJ Lee Vs. Seth Rollins & Becky Lynch
Intercontinental Championship: Sheamus(c) Vs. Ilja Dragunov

• Survivor Series - Nov 23, 2024 - TBA

WWE Undisputed Championship (Steel Cage Match): Randy Orton(c) Vs. Cody Rhodes
[Having dispatched DiBiasie on Smackdown, Rhodes wins the title back here via a memorable moment where he moonsaults off the steel cage ala what he done against Wardlow in AEW]
WWE Women's Championship: Bianca Belair(c) Vs. Tiffany Stratton
Intercontinental Championship: Ilja Dragunov(c) Vs. Gunther
World Heavyweight Championship: CM Punk(c) Vs. Seth Rollins
[After the match, Drew McIntyre makes his return to lay out both Punk and Rollins]
War Games Match: OG Bloodline (Roman Reigns, Jey Uso, Jimmy Uso, Sami Zayn) Vs. New Bloodline (Solo Sikoa, Tama Tonga, Tanga Lao, Jacob Fatu)

Hi all,
Symptoms for last two years: + Dry nasal inflammation internally. No infection. + Incredibly stiff shoulders and neck.
29M, 180cm, 88kg, living in EU, IBS and reflux sufferer since 14, moved into a new apartment in July 2022 and a couple of months later I started to have nasal inflammation (no infection, no runny nose or no mucus just nose getting blocked like concrete) and breathing problems through nose gave me tens of other physical anxiety symptoms which last year ended up in 9 months of antidepressants and psychotherapy. Since I moved in, I have observed silverfish around the apartment from time to time and since they are an indication of dust and dust mites, my focus was always on fixing probable dust mite issue. Although if mites existed I believe they would've been already eliminated because of the stuff I tried.
Stuff I tried:

• Examinations by ENT and family doctor
• Stop consuming milk products or at least lactose most of the time.
• To reduce dust mite and silverfish population, lowering the humidity, lowering the heat, and getting rid of dust/papers/cereals in the apartment.
• Administrating Avamys spray for months (Fluticasone furoate)
• Administrating Nasonex spray for months (Mometasone furoate monohydrate)
• Administrating Flonase spray for months (Fluticasone propionate)
• 240mg Pseudoedepherine tablets (can't use them anymore due to triggering physical anxiety symptoms)
• Crebros antihistamine tablets (Levocetirizine dihydrochloride)
• Loratin antihistamine tablets (Loratadine)
• Neti Pot (Water + Salt + Xylitol)
• Saline sprays (Water + Salt)
• Nasal Inhilator (Ocalyptus + Menthol)
• Moistruzer nose spray (Natural oils)
• Allergodil antihistamine nose spray (azelastine)
• Air Dehumidifier
• Air Humidifier
• Air Purifier
• Keeping windows open for days
• Vacuuming floors and furnitures daily with HEPA filtered self-cleaning robot, 800W HEPA Filtered floor Vacuum, HEPA Filtered Cordless FlooHand Vacuum, and Mattress Cleaner emitting UV light.
• Xylometazoline spray (This becomes a last resort if I can't sleep at night, but I can live without using for months)
• Nasal strips (Using at nights, they somewhat saved me from dependency on Xylometazoline)
• Massage Gun in case if the nasal issues are the result of constant muscle tension instead of vice-versa.

Tests conducted:

• Blood allergy test for common allergens (which came out negative for everything)
• Nasal endoscopy by ENT (Some dryness was found, but no polyps, no deviation, no infection)
• At home Sleep Apnea Test by sleep clinic with and without CPAP (No apnea or blood oxygen issue was found, but intermediate hypopnea was found probably due to nasal inflammation)
• Nasal breathing test, which showed improvement in breathing through nose when Xylometazoline is administrated which indicated to my doctor the Xylometazoline dependency, but quitting the spray for months doesn't show any improvement. Go to QuitAfrin and you will see no one had issues after quitting the spray for at most two weeks.

Things I did not try yet but I will be looking into this year:

• VivAer or any surgical procedure
• CT Scan (Tomograhpy) on sinuses
• Seeing an allergist on July 2024.
• Mold test
• Test to see what chemicals are used for wall paints. (Happened to another Redditor)
• Lose weight (I was 65 kg in 2020, last year ended up almost 100kg due to antidepressant but I already started having health issues when I went over 80 kg in 2021.)
• Wheat-free diet, keto diet and other anti-inflammatory diets.
• Wet fasting, dry fasting, daily intermittent fasting.
• Acupunture, spa, sensory deprivation tank, massage, exercise/cardio/lifting at gym, yoga to reduce anxiety and also sauna (one Redditor fixed his issue permanently by going to sauna only two times)
• Kimchi powder

I'm open for all recommendations or possible diagnoses. American friends, please don't tell me to move out, here healthcare is free not moving out.
Thank you

I may have missed some more recent (late 2023-24) declarations, so let me know if I should add anything I've missed.
Stugotz personal record book. Sorry if the links are expired on some things. They're old.
[Time Stamps] Started to use them in late 2019. They may not be exact based on what podcast app or service you use. But they'll be close.
I DIDN'T ASK FOR ANY OF THIS:

FOOTBALL

(1) UCF is the 2017-2018 national champion.
(2) If Kirk Cousins goes to the Jaguars and not the Jets, no championship he wins will count in the personal record book.
Note (2)(a): Still pending sort of since Kirk is with the Vikings now – possible in future he could go to Jags.
(3) Eli manning has 1 ring. He doesnt get one for throwing a ball into David Tyree's face / Tyree getting a football stuck in his helmet.
(4) Carson Wentz has a Super Bowl 52 ring.
Note (4)(a): Foles does not have a Super Bowl 52 ring.
(5) The Raiders defeated the Patriots in their divisional playoff matchup in 2002 (Tuck Rule game), and then would defeat the Rams in Super Bowl 36.
Note (5)(a): In this scenario also, Bill Belichick was also "fired and looking for a job" after the Tuck Rule game and has 0 rings.
(6) If the 2017 Patriots won Super Bowl 52, James Harrison would not have a ring (Patriots lost to Eagles).
(7) Peyton Manning has one ring (Broncos ring does not count).
(8) Peyton Manning must give such ring he lost (above) to Von Miller, who thus has 2 rings.
(9) Aaron Rodgers can have all the rings he wants for keeping all of central Wisconsin employed.
(10) Brian Billick has 0 rings (2000 Ravens Super Bowl) because that defense carried him.
(11) Tony Boselli is a Hall of Famer.
(12) Tarik Cohen is an honorary Jew.
(13) JuJu Smith-Schuster is also an honorary Jew. L'Chaim.
(14) Drew brees has three rings for winning the super bowl for the city of New Orleans.
Note (14)(a): There was discussion on this where the number started at three, went up to five, came down to two, but it ended up at three.
(15) Mike McCarthy has no Super Bowl rings.
Note(15)(a): Dan also has this in his record book, and it is the first entry into the Le Batard Personal Record Book.
Note 15(b): In fact, McCarthy has -3 (Negative three) rings.
(16) Any Super Bowl rings Antonio Brown gets with the Patriots will not count in the Stugotz personal record book (9/9 Weekend Observations National Hour 2).
(17) Ohio State's 76 to 5 victory over Miami (Ohio) on 9/21/19 does not count.
(18) Due to Bill Belichick's 219 wins with Tom Brady, Bill's week 7 2023 victory over the Bills was actually his 81st victory and not his 300th victory.
(19) The 2002-03 Miami Hurricanes actually won the Fiesta Bowl/BCS National Championship game against Ohio State.
(20) If JJ Watt joins the Texans for the 2024 season or later on, none of the Super Bowl rings will count in Stugotz's personal record book

BASKETBALL

Kevin Durant
(1) If Westbrook wins a championship and beats Kevin Durant along the way in the playoffs, Westbrook will have won 2 championship rings.
(2) "STRAP IT ON BOYS, GONNA TAKE YA FOR A RIDE:"
Kevin Durant has 0 rings (Zero rings)
Kevin Durant has -1 rings (Negative 1 rings).
Kevin Durant has -4 rings (Negative 4) (As of 4/11/18)
Note (2)(a): This number is subject to change based on Stugotz altering rings to the "-4" current total. Specifically as seen recently when Stugotz adjusted the number from (i) 0 rings to (ii) -1 rings to (iii) -4 rings.
Note (2)(b): Here is a tweet transcript of the conversation where this was discovered.
Archive link
(3) If Kevin Durant wins an NBA title for the NY Knicks, he will gain 11 rings.
Note (3)(a): As seen above in "(2)," Kevin Durant has -4 rings.
Note (3)(b): [Math] If Durant were to remain at -4 rings, and subsequently win an NBA title for the Knicks, he will have 7 rings total. This was specifically stated (-4 + 11 = 7), and a question about a non-specifically stated Personal Record Book entry is posed below in "Note (3)(c)(i)."
Note (3)(c): If the Golden State Warriors had won a championship playing 3 on 5 with Kevin Durant, Kevin Durant would have 1 ring.
Note (3)(c)(i): [Confusion] I am unsure if "Note(3)(c)" means he would gain +1 ring, and therefore be "up" to -3 rings total. Possibly, Stugotz means if the Golden State Warriors had won a championship 3 on 5 with Durant, Kevin Durant would be at +1 rings total (Positive 1 rings).
(4) Kevin Durant's dagger in Game 3 did not count, because according to Stugotz, none of Durant's stats count. KD's official statline last night was 0/0/0 and the Cavs blew the Warriors out by 40.
(5) Anything Kevin Durant has done with the Warriors so far is not in Stugotz' personal record scroll.
Note (5)(a): Stugotz did not take his feathered pen and write anything in his scroll (King Roy approves).
(6) Westbrook has ALL of KD's rings.
(7) For every time KD says he doesn't give a BLEEP, Stugotz adds 2 "I do give a BLEEPS" in the personal record book.
(8) Per Dan, speaking on Stugotz' behalf, Kevin Durant has no Olympic Gold Medals (9/18/19 National Hour 1 @ 00:07:50).
Michael Jordan
(1) Jordan has 9 rings because:
(a) The Rockets have to give their 2 rings from 1994 and 1995 to Jordan (+2); and
(b) The Bulls would have won the 1999 Finals over the Spurs if Jordan didn't retire (+1; 9 total).
Note (1)(a-b)(i): Put LeBron's rings in a box and put Jordan's rings in a box. Jordan is +6 by the way over LeBron box-minus, despite box-minus sounding like a dumb stat.
(2) Michael Jordan was suspended for 2 years for gambling (Said 4/25/18 Hour 2, 14:30 in podcast).
Note 2(a): HOWEVER, MJ still has 9 rings as see above in (1)(a) and (1)(b).
(3) Any game Michael Jordan played wearing the uniform #45 does not count.
LeBron James
(1) If LeBron James goes to the Golden State Warriors, every Championship he wins will result in a deduction of 2 previously won championships.
(2) The Miami Heat LeBron teams were the GREATEST teams in the history of sports (5/7/18 Local Hour).
(3) The Miami Heat LeBron teams were also the MOST INTERESTING teams in the history of sports.
(4) If, after the 2018 NBA Playoffs:
(a) LeBron does not make it to the finals and the Celtics do; and
(b) The Houston Rockets do not make it to the finals and the Warriors do; and
(c) LeBron goes to the Houston Rockets for the next season, THEN
LeBron is allowed to win rings that count in Stu's personal record book.
Note (4)(a-c)(i): HOWEVER, Harden & Chris Paul - if they remain on the Rockets with LeBron on the team - are not allowed to have any of the rings won with LeBron count in Stu's personal record book.
Note 4(a-c)(ii): To quote the big man Stu (with Dan agreeing of course), "Do it on your own” (Dan agrees here).
(5) If LeBron wins an NBA Championship with the 2018 Lakers roster (as of 7/23/18), then that wins counts for 6 rings.
Note (5)(a): Thus LeBron would have 9 rings.
Kyrie Irving
(1) Kyrie Irving hit one of the biggest shots in NBA Finals History, but was only in that position because of LeBron James. Kyrie Irving, did hit one of the biggest shots in NBA Finals history that won everyone on that team a Ring, except for you (Kyrie). (3/9/20 Hour #3; Google Podcast @ 07:00).
Note (1)(a): Stugotz: "A little revision to the uhhh Stugotz Personal Record Book that I'll come around to writing...or Mike will." I'M WRITING IT YOU IDIOT MORON JACKAL
Misc. Basketball
(1) The Houston Rockets have 0 (Zero) NBA Championship victories.
Note (1)(a): See "Michael Jordan (1)(a)" for reasoning.
Note (1)(a)(i): [Restated Reasoning] Michael Jordan is actually in possession of those 1994 and 1995 Rockets rings because Michael Jordan would have won those championships if he stayed in Chicago.
Note(1)(b): [CONFLICTING HOT TAKE] Stugotz has also said Jordan didn't get the Rockets' rings because he was actually suspended for gambling.
Note (1)(b)(i) NEEDS CLARIFICATION PLEASE. Stugotz keeps going back and forth. In "Michael Jordan Note 1(a)," the opposite of "Miscellaneous Basketball Note (1)(b) is stated because he has gone back and forth on this issue.
(2) Steve Kerr has no rings as a coach. In fact, he has never even coached a game.
(3) Mychal Thompson (Klay's dad) has no rings. (Said on Zach Harper podcast).
(4) Clyde Drexler no rings (Said on Zach Harper podcast).
(5) Giannis Antetekoumpo is pronounced Yani Adababoombo.
(6) As long as James Harden has his beard, he cannot win any championships.
Note (6)(a): If the Rockets win a ring, then the ring goes to the beard.
(7) Lamarcus Aldridge cost the Spurs game 2 of the 2017 Western Conference Semifinals, even though they won.
(8) If the Sixers happen to win a championship, Sam Hinkie gets a ring.
(9) Chris Paul has NOT made a Western Conference Final since he had to join the Rockets to do so.
(10) Michael Jordan winning the NBA Finals in 1999 also means that Tim Duncan only has 4 rings instead of 5 rings.
(11) The Warriors only have 1 ring
Note (11)(a): Durant still has -4.
(12) Boogie Cousins cannot win a NBA Championship and have it count if he does so with the Warriors.
(13) Billy Donovan was the NBA Coach of the Year in 2017 (12/13/17 @ 28:10 Hour 1).
Note (13)(a): The Thunder blowing the 3-1 lead to the Warriors that year had nothing to do with Donovan. It was Durant's fault.
(14) The OKC Thunder actually did win the WCF against the Warriors in 2017 when up 3-1.
Note (14)(a): This does not apply to Durant though.
Note (14)(b): The Thunder also beat whoever they would have played in the Finals. Durant still no ring.
(15) Embiid has his 2023 MVP taken away and given to Jimmy Butler.
(16) Caitlin Clark's NCAA all-time scoring record still belongs to Pistol Pete because unlike Pistol Pete, Caitlin didn't do it in 3 years and she did it with a 3 point line.

BASEBALL

Babe Ruth
(1) Babe Ruth is black.
(2) Babe Ruth never hit a baseball. Not once.
(3) Babe Ruth is the number two black baseball player of all time behind Barry Larkin.
(4) Babe Ruth is NOT a top 20 Baseball player of all time. He's a pitcher.
Note (4)(a): However This is somewhat confusing/interesting because:
(i) Stugotz has said "Babe Ruth is the number two black baseball player of all time behind Barry Larkin; and"
(ii) This MUST mean Stugotz can only have 1 black player in his top 20 Baseball players of all time Barry Larkin; because
(iii) The only way this can work logically is if in the list of greatest players #1 through #20, only Barry Larkin is on the latter top #1 through #20 list. I would like some clarification on if he wishes to change this take/record.
(5) Babe Ruth is also not a top 20 pitcher of all time.
Misc. Baseball
(1) Stugotz has declared that in his personal record book, Baseball no longer allows pitchers to hit (Stated on 05/03/2018 @ 12:38:52 P.M).
Note (1)(a): Excludes Bartolo Colon, and Shohei Ohtani.
Note (1)(b): You are either a pitcher or a hitter. Not both.
(2) If the Dodgers won the 2017 World Series Clayton Kershaw would not have had a ring.
(3) Wade Boggs DOES have a ring because he rode around on a horse with a beer afterward.
(4) Clayton Kershaw did not win an MVP award because the award for pitchers was already given, the CY Young award.
(5) Miami beat LSU in the 1996 College Baseball World Series.
(6) The 1986 NY Mets did not win the World Series against the Boston Red Sox.
Note (6)(a): This "pains" Stugotz.
(7) The Red Sox retroactively winning the 1986 World Series may result in taking a ring away from the Mets.
Note (7)(a): Stugotz has to think about it though, he's not sure yet.
(8) Bryce Harper did not win the 2018 home run derby because he cheated.
(9) Kershaw's Earned Ring Average (ERA) is 0.00.
(10) Mike Minor (Rangers Pitcher) does not have 200 strikeouts in 2019. He's at 199 (National Hour 2, 10 mins 40 seconds in).
Note (10)(a): Chris agrees too. And who really cares (15% on poll do care).
(11) The 2020-2021 Mets, during the Coronavirus outbreak, are 0-3 and Jacob deGrom is somehow 0-1 with a 0.00 ERA and 1 complete game. The deGrominator. (Google Podcast 3/30 Hour #3 @ 19:20)

HOCKEY

(1) Ray Bourque doesn't have a ring.
(2) Alex Ovechkin may or may not have won the Stanley Cup against the Vegas Golden Knights.
Note (2)(a): "I mean he beat an expansion team . . . bunch of players nobody wanted" (We get the sense that Dan agrees).

TENNIS

(1) If anyone wins a major in Female Tennis without Serena Williams playing, it does not count and they have 0 rings.
(2) If Maria Sharapova wins a grand slam in which Serena isnt competing it doesnt count.

GOLF

(1) If Jason Day wins the 2018 Masters, it counts as an American winning (as far as bets are concerned).
(2) Vijay Singh did not play in the 2018 Masters.
(3) Steph Curry did not win the 2023 American Century Celebrity Golf Championship Tournament . Mardy Fish was the real winner.

SOCCER

(1) Lionel Messi is stripped of all his achievements for using HGH. He never played soccer. He is still 5'1". "Fraud."
(2) Soccer is dead.

NCAA DIVISION 1 WOMEN'S LACROSSE

(1) Rachel has more rings than Kevin Durant

MISCELLANEOUS

(1) Aqua?
(2) Rings plus-minus is the only way to measure greatness.
(3) The HBO Andre the Giant film was good, not great, and Stugotz didn’t learn anything.
(4) Benoit Lecomte (guy they interviewed) can not and will not swim from San Francisco to Tokyo in the personal record book because he is most likely taking a dip for a few minutes then coming back on the boat and enjoying some filet mignon by the pool.
Note (4)(a): "Do it without a yacht. And how about ya do it without the little magnetic field around you that keeps sharks away. How bout that. Allows dolphins through though? Anyway.."
(5) Justify (the Horse) only has a double crown.
Note (5)(a): This is the first ever double crown.
(6) Tango and Cash is in the action movie Hall of Fame. and Cliffhanger has the greatest 5 minute intro of any movie of all time.
(7) Maximum Security (a Horse) won the 2019 Kentucky Derby.
(8) Fruit Stripes Gum is NOT a 1st Ballot Hall of Famer in Stu's "Gum Hall of Fame." (08/12/2019 Hour 2 @ 15:25).
Note (8)(a): "It loses it's flavor so quickly"
Note (8)(b): Also, "[...] Bazooka...1st Ballot Hall of Famer." Also, "Big League Chew..1st Ballot."
(9) Chris Cote owns all intellectual property rights to the "Friends" (TV Show) Movie with a misleading preview that eventually has a climax leading to an intense murder mystery. (10/29/19 Hour #2 @ 03:15).
Note (9)(a): "If they make this without crediting Cote, they're stealing it."
(10) That guy killed the pigeon (12/10 Hour 3 @ 08:20).
(11) Billy owns the record for world's longest Plank (2/25, Hour #3; Google Podcast @ 30:55).
Note (11)(a): Possibly in just the Non-Marine edition.
(12) Zach Buchanan won a Pulitzer Prize for his story on the Madison Bumgarner / Mason Saunders rodeo fiasco (2/28/20 Hour #2; Google Podcasts @ 21:35).
(13) Findlay the Golden retriever holds the Stu Gotz Personal Record Book record for most tennis balls held in a mouth at one time by a dog at 6 (2/11/2020)
(14) Ace Davis (The kid who "proved" Tom Brady was cheating with science) and his fathefamily are heroes (4/1 Hour #3; Google Podcast @ 18:50).
(15) Dan did NOT do more push-ups than Domonique Foxworth (Dan did push-ups on a non-linear platform) (4/28/2020 Hour # 1).

SPORTS MEDIA DREAM TEAM™

Sourced from Google Podcast; 05/06/2020, Hour 2 @ 09:00
(Head Coach) Ernie Johnson - "When you look over to the bench, what you need is someone to stand tall, someone who is confident, someone who is competent, someone who has all the credibility -soaked in credibility - when you have the Head Coach of the Sports Media Dream Team."
(1; Point Guard) Mike Greenberg - "Doesn't really want to answer the big questions, but has no problem distributing those questions to other people who are happy to answer them."
(2; Shooting Guard) Stephen A. Smith - "Never met a topic he doesn't like. Short memory, doesn't care, Greeny could throw him anything and Stephen A. is gonna run with it even if he knows nothing about the topic. That is how it works. Stephen A. is the greatest of all time."
(3; Small Forward) Chris Fowler - "A do it all guy. Studio show? Great. Play by Play? Even better. Can do everything."
(4; Small Forward Replacement) Maria Taylor) - "Need Play by Play, need Sideline, need Studio Host - she can do it all"
(5; Power Forward) Dianna Russini - "You need some crazy, some don't mess with us, someone to tear someone's head off in the event that they come after one of us."
(6; Power Forward Replacement) PFT Commenter - "He just comes in and acts crazy, throws his arms and hair around, and give ya 5 to 10 really crazy minutes."
(7; In honor of the Chicago Bulls, Stugotz needed a Wennington, a Purdue) Scott Van Pelt - Dan debated whether or not SVP should be on the Sports Media Dream Team™. That's what he's doing.
(8; Bench Player w/ No Position Specified) Doris Burke
(9) Teased...

Hi everyone, I am very new to dating as I don't have much dating / relationship experience in my life before. So I apologize if I am not making sense here and any opinion here is greatly appreciated!
I met this girl through hinge back in March this year, and we have been texting quite a lot. After chatting for a week, I asked her out for a first date, but unfortunately she is going to HK for a month for vacation for the entire April. So I decided to keep texting with her throughout the month when she's in HK, and I feel like she started to get more comfortable chatting with me as I see she is using more emoji and sticker over time. Throughout a month and half of chatting on a daily basis, I did make some hint that I am interested in her not just as a friend, but a potential relationship in the future, and she did respond with a lot of "maybe", which giving me hope.
When she's back from HK, I asked her out again for the 1st date. Even though she rejected the upcoming weekend for jetlag reason, she did suggest the following Saturday instead. So we went to have a lunch + boba as our 1st date on Saturday (beginning of May), and I felt we had a great date because we had been keeping the conversation light and easy going about many random topics, and she said "thanks for treating me the lunch today! I will treat you back next time" before we parted. Also I'm not sure if this is relevant, but we didn't had any physical touch during the date as I didn't want to do anything too rush and make her feel uncomfortable.
But then after that date, I feel things are starting to go down. We still texting with each other on the next day (Sunday), but on Monday I texted her in the afternoon, and she responded me at around 8:30PM. Although I responded back couple minutes later, she didn't respond me at all for the rest of that night. I thought she was busy that night so I let it slide and didn't bother her with any more follow up message. Then on Tuesday morning she texted me again responding to my message from last night. I responded back almost immediately, but she ghosted me for the rest of Tuesday.
At this point I was feeling something might be odd, so I looked up online and people suggest "ask her out for a 2nd date and see what she respond, and you would know if she lost interest in you or not". So I asked her about a 2nd date on Wednesday, but she said she would be busy for the rest of this month. Just when I thought she had lost interest in me, she explained to me the exact reasoning why she's busy, and the schedule she has on every weekend in May, such as fellowship and serving in her church, her friend's birthday party, and a trip to Lake Tahoe with her group of friends etc. (by the way, I didn't ask her why she's busy, and she told me all these on her own)
Then I was like ok we will see in June, how about we stream something to watch together through discord when you are free? She said she don't have discord account and asked me if I have Netflix instead. I said I don't have Netflix but I don't mind getting it, but then she was like "it's ok, I don't want you to pay for the membership since I don't know how often we can stream, because things might come up unexpectedly, so a free platform would be better. I will see if I can make a discord account first". So I didn't push any further about this and moved on our topic to some other random things for the rest of that week. However, she haven't mention anything about discord nor created an account yet still and it's been a week since we talked about it.
Even though we still have been texting on a daily basis, I noticed she started to use less emoji and sticker, as well as she is taking longer to respond to my message now compare to before our 1st date. I might be thinking too much here, but is she started to lose interest in me and just treating me as a friend after our 1st date? Should I straight up ask her to confirm about this? I feel like if I ask but end up I was actually thinking too much and she didn't mean any of this, then we would probably end up in a very awkward position because I showed my insecurity and doubt on her? Could it be that she might also talking to another guy right now and making a decision between us? I am honestly at a lost of what she thinks of me, and I'm not sure what to do at this point. Thank you for all of you who read through this far, and any advice is greatly appreciated!

Don't get me wrong. Pay is great, work is steady depending on where you work in the facilities, breaks are nice (again depending where you work, i hear horror stories from the cashiers), and generally? not a terrible vibe on third shift which is a god-send from the normal rabble.
What makes the job awful, much like any location, is the management. We've got several managers, much like any store, and of course they have their "favorites" who get away with everything barring murder. Some that walk around doing nothing all day, some that just sit in the wrong departments chatting, leaving the customers without help, some that ignore the customers asking for assistance as a whole, even a few that due the famous "U-turn" where they go back and forth from the bathroom and breakroom all night before clocking out. Everything we say about these individuals; in one ear, out the other. whether it's to HR, CXM, mod, directly to the individual in question or the boss of the store. Due to the crazy loops and mountain of paper-trailing required, the damage is already heavily implemented before anything can be freaking done about them, making the job twenty times harder than it needs to be.
Then you got the workers who bust their butt to make ends meet getting treated worse than the dirt you stand on because of these headaches. This goes on for every shift, but i need to focus on my own experiences through the third shift stress and tension as it has been getting extremely volatile. Between the problems above and a hard-headed manager interested in rushing to complete tasks over the safety of the worker, and the lack of stable workers since only 3 of us are full time + 2 part timers who do, essentially, full time hours, the strain on the night crew is insane. What sent me over the edge though wasn't the work.. oh no. I can handle the work load because whatever we don't get done is still there the next night. It's not hard to pick up where we left off and by the end of the week 99% of the time everything is done.
Below in the spoiler will be a pretty hefty rant of my experience involving what finally made me register my hard work means nothing. That we're simply replaceable fodder, and that our safety, no matter how much they plaster it as their priority, means nothing.

Back in January the area i live in experienced a pretty big storm. Didn't think much of it at the time, i've ridden my E-bike (my only source of transport) in storms before, even in the snow! But, unlike usual this storm had caused flash flooding. I had reached a particular point in the ride where I couldn't progress. The roads that legally allowed my bike to travel out of where I live had become flooded by nearly 6 inches of high speed water, with spots going as deep as a foot and more due to road conditions. Roads surrounding my route were also being slowly closed off as the storm continued and ubers were cancelling in the area (or outright rejecting rides due to the dangerous conditions.), making it progressively harder to get around. It was 10 minutes til work, and i still had 20 minutes to ride, and a 15 minute ride back home if something went wrong.
I pulled over at this intersection that was flooded and checked the news for the area. Local news networks labeled it a "local emergency", so i called it in, told my boss at night i wouldn't be able to make it due to the unsafe driving conditions and progressively worsening weather closing down major roads. He 'understood', told me it would not effect my points as it was a weather situation, and that several others were calling for similar problems. I returned home now soaked and the bike had to be carefully serviced to avoid any lasting damage from the heavy storm. Not a huge issue but annoying none the less.
Fast forward two weeks and i get brought into the office where the CXM and my boss are... and asked the famous line. "Do you know why you're back here?"
I truly had no idea, so i joked it off, I had won a recent raffle for 3 board-games, so I made the comment it was because I hadn't brought those home yet.
The CXM smiled, then said it was because i had received my 4th point for calling out without sick time. Now, mind you, I have no idea what's going on at this point. I knew i had missed 3 days (once in September, 2 times in october from bike issues leaving me on the road without a way in due to the battery dying.). So i asked where this 4th point was coming from. He mentions the day of the flood, my boss, who is keeping his mouth shut, looks away from me when he says this. At this point I sit down, rather miffed at this point because i was assured that it was okay due to it being a safety concern, and that others were calling out with similar issues without a problem.
I'm stunned at this point. Taking a seat at the wall, the night assistant manager closes the door behind me and the cxm begins to lay into me the normal spiel, about how they expect all workers to be punctual and that this was a writeup, and how i "needed to understand what was being said". The whole time he's smiling, I wasn't. I told him what I was told on the phone, that I was cleared due to the weather conditions and that a point wasn't on my record the last time i checked (which i was checking regularly the first week because i truly expected something like this to happen, and stopped checking 4 days prior to the meeting. This happened 2 weeks later on a Wednesday.) -The cxm says it doesn't matter what i'm told on the phone. And that I should have called an uber. -I told him that ubers were cancelling rides due to the roads closing. -He tells me to order a taxi instead then. Now. I'm getting riled up at this point. My leg it tapping, i'm clearly not happy, and the way the cxm is talking to me is actively pushing for a response like this as he continues to smile and REPEATS "do you understand why you're getting this write-up" over, and over, and over again. -The night shift boss is still not making eye contact with me. -So, I stare straight at the cxm and respond to his question. "I understand that I have 3 points, but the 4th point I do not agree with. I was told that I was okay, and that the local news had declared it an emergency. I do not agree with that fourth point." -They both look at me, and I continue to look directly at the cxm. I'm still pretty relaxed at this point even if i'm agitated mentally and tapping my foot. I just want to get back to work at this point because I know the cxm is on a power-trip based on his body language and how much he's smiling. However, it really shown when that smile went away at me saying that comment. The cxm folded his hands, his smile gone and said "look, you want me to be blunt? I don't care what you agree with, you just need to understand you're being written up for 4 points of missed work. I can't let you leave until you agree."
THAT shifted my whole mood. I went from calm, to alert. My foot stopped tapping, I sat back in the chair and I was glaring at the cxm at this point. I was LIVID. The night manager STILL wouldn't look at me, instead he was watching the cxm. So i stayed focused on him as well. I folded my arms, and gave my full attention to him.
He repeated "Do you understand why you're being given this formal write-up?" again, and I, again, said I didn't agree with it. He AGAIN said he didn't care what I agreed or thought was right. and he just needed me to agree with it. So. I said what he wanted me to say. "I understand i'm being written up for a point I don't agree with"
As if MOCKING me, he again repeats "do you understand you can't keep missing days like this?"
I stayed DEAD SILENT at this point, and he leaned forward and looked at me with a big ol' smile. and told me to "stop staring at me with that death-glare, it's not working on me, buddy"
I was fuming. I was NOT going to be treated like a tool like that for taking my own safety into consideration during a local emergency for the job to tell me I was still in the wrong TWO WEEKS AFTER the event happened.
I was forced to agree, because I was sick and tired of staring at him and getting nowhere. So i repeated the comment like a good little drone and left. God i wish i knew i could have commented in that signing page that i signed under protest, course I was so pissed off i doubt i'd have even realized where to write it if i had known. I signed the "admission of guilt" crap, and immediately went to speak to the main boss of the store. Took two more weeks to get ahold of him, and he agreed it sounded very unusual. Main boss went to HR with clarification on how to handle it because even he wasn't too sure on it.
Two weeks after that, i touched base with the main boss. AND HE AGREED THAT I HAD NOT DESERVED THAT POINT OR THE WRITEUP. HR had come back to him about it coming down to the manager who handles the call-out (in my case the night shift boss), and a second manager who confirms the callout. My only assumption is that my boss agreed and acknowledged it as a weather related incident, and the second manager, the cxm in this case, decided to over-rule that decision.
Every other manager I spoke to thought that point was bogus. THE MAIN BOSS said it was bogus, and HR agreed that it was a case-to-case issue due to their system not having anything concrete for localized weather emergencies (they only have it for snow/ice, and state emergencies.) but even our HR contact agreed that safety takes priority! So here I am, 3 months into this crap I didn't even deserve, all because this dude decided to swing his big-boy stick. Taking the proper channels to have it addressed, complaint sent in about the manager in question, and trying to do things by the book did nothing but hit me with a "well you didn't act fast enough so we can't fix it" response, because it took over a month to get it processed. On the plus side, since I explained the entire incident to the main boss of the store (including the response from the manager who was handling the write-up), He gave me his direct line and told me that if i EVER got caught in a major storm like that to let him know, and he'd be sure to clear the incident himself. So while it happened, the store boss pulled through and assured me it won't happen again since it was a situational decision based on whoever got the call-out to handle. The problem is that the one who made this a problem in the first place is still in a position to do said problem. And that, unfortunately, I am unable to address directly like this. It was untouched for almost 2 weeks, sent in as a point right at the end of the 2 week "edit" period, and then I'm written up a week after that, ensuring I had no way to fight it. This was, in all purposes, an abuse of power. But, i'm a drone. I'm only as strong as the voice of the rest of this cacophony, and that's why they keep everyone at eachothers' throats.

Like I said. It's a rant, so only pop it open if you want to see what triggered this message to begin with. It's the biggest frustration I've had in the many years working here that firmly got under my skin due to the way it was handled and how long it took to get properly addressed, for no other reason than to tell me it was too late to do anything about it. We're just numbers in this machine, readily replaceable and easily used to kick around in the name of "fun" for those in a position of power. Where the rules and regulations are waived so long as you're buddies with the other management, and those working hard and keeping to themselves are an easy source to dump the blame and pressure or exercise someone's "authority".

I had recently gotten my EMT-B license in January and gotten a job at an IFT/dialysis/ nursing home emergencies company in late February. My emt class was through a community college and i am still taking gen eds currently. I have been working nightshift fulltime consistently since i was hired.
I had a very unprofessional partner the other night who is 5 years on the job and there to teach a student. This partner is your generic super burnt out negative nancy who is finishing his first year of nursing school. He had told me and the student that medic school is ridiculous, school is stupid, and you make no money and nursings where the moneys at. For our first patient, he was swearing about the patient’s condition in a hostile manner in the back WITH THE PATIENT basically disrespecting them. I told him after the call what he had said was extremely rude and he said he didnt even realize what he said (which i feel is even worse). Throughout the whole night he did not have any positive patient contact, seemed to lack any empathy for their situations, and had me and the student handle the patient as he would run and talk to the nurse the whole time. He seemed to snap at the student and me and it was ridiculous. I was expected to teach the student so i taught him what i have learned in the past few months and my tips and tricks.
I would ask this partner questions seeking advice and an explanation on different things and he just dismissed me and said i was trying to be a “super emt”. I felt offput by that especially after how he acted the entire night. If i want to do things more “by the book” and what makes sense for the highest level of care i can give, whats wrong with that? Am i being too uptight? I want to be the best i can at this job and learn as much as i can but i dont want to be labeled as a “super emt” and a tryhard.

The first one was crossbuy, but this one isn't showing up on the list of titles. However, I think the list has not been updated in a while, as Beat Saber recently became crossbuy but is not on the list.

Edit: If you are going to comment on the length of this post, please don't. This is not a simple snark but rather an actual critical think piece about feminism and Taylor Swift.

Introduction

Pertaining to Taylor Swift, "Female Rage" has deviated from its intended meaning after Swift debuted a new performance of The Tortured Poets Department during the Eras Tour. Now, according to Swift's use of the phrase, female rage is interpreted as public backlash against Swift's dating choices rather than as a response to the broader injustices against women and women's rights. This post examines Taylor Swift's flawed feminism, philanthropy, branding, and the controversial trademark petition for the phrase "Female Rage: The Musical". Swift's background as an entertainer, indeterminate politics, and alignment with capitalism over feminism pervades her legacy, again threatening her public tolerance as not just an individual but as a brand.

Once Upon a Female Rage...

If you were cognizant in the early 2010's, you've heard countless jabs at Taylor Swift in the media. Magazines, radio, or online. Music critics did not take her seriously as a songwriter; parents put a woman on an unrealistic pedestal as the ideal role model for their children; she dated too much and used men as lyrical fodder. No matter the story, it inevitably spread, conjoined with everyone's respective opinions, and you'd be left to wonder, "Why does everyone hate this girl so much?"
Taylor's target demographic has always been young or adolescent girls, more so when Swift herself was one. She made music that spoke to the awkward misfit, cultivating a para-social relationship with fans on MySpace, then later twitter, Instagram, and YouTube, where Taylor posted relatable vlogs showcasing the life of a homegrown American girl. Taylor had a delayed public "growing up" and, compared to her female pop contemporaries, Swift never "gratuitously sexualized her image and seems pathologically averse to controversy" (and, apparently, never even had a sip of alcohol until she turned 21). She was more than happy to spin this narrative to allude to an inherent moral superiority above other women in the industry (Better Than Revenge, heard of it?), engaging in the very slut-shaming that she herself endured (the Madonna and Whore archetypes). The victim complex arose with the need to prove Taylor as a different type of pop girl. Based upon her holy and clean image, Swift had been dubbed "a feminist's nightmare", and that "[To Swift] other girls are obstacles; undeserving enemies who steal Taylor’s soulmates with their bewitching good looks and sexual availability." Feminism and Tennessee-Christian country values don't exactly mix, it seems.
Years later, Swift befriended Lena Dunham and thus experienced white feminism osmosis, where Dunham taught Swift that real feminists defend rapists, makes insensitive jokes about rape and abortion, and prioritize all-white casts. Swift then declared herself a feminist in 2014, saying,

"Becoming friends with Lena – without her preaching to me, but just seeing why she believes what she believes, why she says what she says, why she stands for what she stands for – has made me realize that I’ve been taking a feminist stance without actually saying so."

I suppose the male-centric songwriting subject that permeates Swift's discography contained covert feminism and that we just didn't see that. Perhaps, the "Bad Blood" song and music video were written only in jest and not about poor Katy Perry, for Swift, as a feminist, would "never make it a girl fight" or tear other women down (though all Katy did was date your terrible ex-boyfriend and allegedly steal three backup dancers from your tour). In 2013, Swift said, in response to Tina Fey and Amy Poehler's joke towards her serial dating, "There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women."
There was that time in 2015 Taylor said that Nicki Minaj was "invited to any stage [she is] on" (as if Taylor expects to have access to every stage, award, and platform that Nicki might not otherwise have as a black female artist...yikes!) in response to Nicki's criticism of the white + thin VMA nominations. Later, Nicki responded with confusion, as Swift continued, "It’s unlike you to pit women against each other. Maybe one of the men took your slot..". Of course, this 'beef' was 'squashed' when Nicki performed with Taylor at the VMAs, with Nicki quite literally only having 38 seconds of stage time without Taylor. Maybe all that parading around with a legion of famous white women - similar to the way Taylor might've done with her numerous 1989-era handbags - was in fact a stance against gender inequality, and that this display of "girl power" should be enough to constitute Swift as a feminist icon.
Even while Swift says that Dunham informed her feminist outlook, she dances around the exact contents of those beliefs: "what she believes, what she says, what she stands for" is not exactly insightful towards what beliefs Swift might have inherited. Taylor never broaches women's rights topics such femicide, FGM, forced pregnancy & marriage, sex trafficking, women in slavery, women's financial and political oppression, women's educational rights, women's health, or women's autonomy, so we can assume she only gives a fuck about "girls supporting girls" (whatever that fucking means).
Despite some questionable (and sometimes vindictive) behavior, Taylor as a young woman did not deserve every media lashing that she received. We cannot deny that most headlines and criticisms perpetuated a misogynistic rhetoric which has plagued Swift for a majority of her career. Acknowledging events such as the development of her ED, her sexual assault trial, "Famous" lyric and MV depiction of Taylor, and the explicit Twitter deepfakes, for example, as both disgusting and unfortunate things that happened to a young woman in Hollywood does not negate the fact that Taylor is mostly a performative feminist.

Get Your Fucking Ass Up and Be a Philanthropist, It Seems Like Nobody Wants to Be a Philanthropist These Days

In 2013, Taylor Swift cut the ribbon at the grand opening of the Taylor Swift Education Center at the Country Music Hall of Fame in Nashville, Tennessee. The donation amount - $4 million - was the largest individual artist gift ever donated to the Country Music Hall of Fame, which is, of course, mentioned on Swift's website. The two-story facility features three classrooms, an instrument room, and an interactive children's exhibit gallery. Swift also performed at "All for the Hall" charity shows and has donated numerous artifacts from her career (such as notable guitars, tour costumes, etc) to the museum.
This was over 11 years ago, and it is still the only notable philanthropic contribution Taylor Swift has made.
For a woman of her net worth and stature, and a woman who recognizes the difficulties for women in film and music, you would think that Taylor Swift might establish a scholarship program for women to study the arts or something. Perhaps Swift might even consider becoming a member of organizations that support female artists, or one that supports LGBTQ+ causes (since she is now proudly an ally), yet she remains superficial with her graces. Broader philanthropy, such as donating relief aid to Palestinian women or women impacted by violence and discrimination will probably never receive any financial support from Miss Swift because then she'd be using her money towards philanthropies involving anyone but white entertainers.
She even says herself in Miss Americana, "My entire moral code as a kid and now is a need to be thought of as 'good'." Well, she's certainly thought of as good, though her actions say otherwise. She's more than happy to do a vaguely altruistic song and dance for a clip-worthy interview quote and mass appeasement, then fuck off to one of her mansions on a 20 minute private jet flight, rather than actually contribute to anything pertaining to the causes she has endorsed. Yet, far too many people continue to give a woman such as her their money, time, and energy, and she hoards these resources to herself.

I Like Some of the Taylor's Songs, But What the Fuck Does She Know About Feminism?

Swift continued with her self-proclaimed feminist campaign, positioning herself as a political activist and LGBTQ+ ally in the Miss Americana documentary. The primary focus of the documentary consists of the sexual assault trial, Andrea Swift's cancer diagnosis, Taylor's ED and body dysmorphia, media scrutiny, and, largely, finally speaking up about her politics publicly, mostly her opposition to the 2018 Tennessee Republican senate candidate, Marsha Blackburn, and Blackburn's beliefs. Swift says, following a scene discussing her experience during the trial,

"I just couldn't really stop thinking about it. And I just thought to myself, next time there is any opportunity to change anything, you had better know what you stand for and what you want to say."

We must ask ourselves, though: when has Swift ever spoken up to change anything? Okay, pulling her entire catalogue from Spotify because they didn't pay their artists enough and similarly pulling her catalogue from Apple Music are changes that she leveraged due to her revenue potential and power, but they are not pertinent to the average woman's rights. Moreover, these are issues that directly impacted Taylor's income, which was enough reason for her to protest in the first place. Swift has sold the most units for a female artist in first week sales, is the first female artist with 100k monthly Spotify listeners, is the first female artist to win the Album of the Year Grammy 4 times, and is the first female artist to do X, Y, and Z, all while being inoffensive and family-friendly to boot. The actual Taylor Swift seems unwilling to compromise the brand of Taylor Swift by contributing in meaningful ways to feminist causes, especially if it is for women outside of America and Hollywood.
The reason political anthems such as "The Man" and "Only the Young" of the Lover era feel disingenuous and corporate is because, well, it is. Taylor has taken every opportunity to advance her career or public image at the expense of other women. What is truly genuine to Taylor's outlook on other women is vying for male attention, taking down female competition, and vocalizing feminist injustices only if they directly impact her and her money. Some will argue that it's satisfactory for a woman with such a huge platform to even TALK about feminism, but that just isn't enough. It's even less impressive when you candidly look at the scope of her feminist lens: "If I was the man, then I'd be THE MAN", or "I really resent the ‘Be careful, buddy, she’s going to write a song about you’ angle, because it trivialises what I do", and, of course, "We all got crowns". Feminism, but only when it happens to me. It gets worse when you look at Taylor's track record of copying other famous women and removing other female artists as potential threats to her pop prowess.
It's good for PR to align yourself with certain blanket feminist and political beliefs, therefore good for branding, therefore good for ticketing and merchandise sales, therefore good for business. And Taylor Swift is a business.
She's not a feminist. Taylor Swift is a capitalist.

I Can't Pay Those Sweatshop Workers a Livable Wage or Benefits! How Else Would I Make My Billions?

Recently, Taylor's team filed to trademark the phrase "Female Rage: The Musical" after Taylor said during Paris N1 of the Eras Tour,

"So you were the first ones to see The Tortured Poets at the Eras Tour...or as I like to call it, 'Female Rage: The Musical'."

This trademark petition was filed last week on Saturday, and news comes about just as numerous unofficial fan-made merch designs have cropped up with this phrase plastered on Fruit of the Loom basics. I'm of the opinion Swift's team motioned for a trademark so that they can send out cease & desists to all those that make knockoff merch, which disrupts potential sales for Bravado, UMG's choice merchandising company; however, since it was filed earlier, perhaps Swift has bigger plans with the bizarre use of the gendered phrase. One Swiftie referred to the phrase "female rage" as "a funny Eras Tour joke". Could it be a possible fourth version of the Eras Tour Movie? Whatever the reason, the motion to capitalize off of such a concept is disgusting, but not unsurprising, for a woman that profits on her vain feminism.
Swift, through her company, TAS Rights Managements, has also trademarked over 200 phrases, including "1989", where she owns the property rights to this calendar year on keychains, phone cases, sunglasses, stationary, bags, beverage ware, clothing, entertainment services, your subconscious, and, of course, Christmas ornaments.
The vapid consumerism in Swiftie culture is, frankly, disgusting. Bravado's sustainability statement is non-existent, the quality control is abysmal, and the materials they use are horrible. The materials, such as acrylic and polyester, are made from petrochemicals. This means they are non-renewable, shed microplastics, and are quite toxic in production. The manufacturing process to make all of those lazy-rushed Eras Tour logo graphic tees is a huge blow to environmental well-being. Apparently, though, Swifties don't give a fuck. They sell out products in seconds and either have to face the manufactured scarcity or buy from a scalper that resells for 200% of the already ridiculous retail price. This doesn't include the environmental impact of vinyl records, CD, and cassette production, of which Taylor produces many variants that sell unsustainable amounts.
If we're talking about women's rights violations, why is no one acknowledging the women that work in the inhumane sweatshop conditions that have to pump out fugly t-shirts and hats? The millions of plastic microfiber dander they are inhaling, or the toxic dyes that touch their bare skin? Are they being compensated fairly for their skilled labour and are they in safe working environments? Do these women have minimal bargaining power, and do they have authority over their worker's rights? Is Taylor Swift female raging at their injustices? Does Taylor Swift ever feels bad that her wealth was built on the backs of women of color, disadvantaged by the demands of the global economy and garment industry? Do you think she ever says a little white feminist prayer for them before she goes to sleep at night?
What's even crazier is not that Taylor herself doesn't care, it's that Swifties don't care. There CANNOT BE ethical billionaires. You only make a billion dollars if you are exploiting other human beings for capital gain. Based on public perception of the possible "Female Rage: The Musical" trademark, it seems like Swifties are already asking for merch with this phrase. "If Taylor made it, I'd buy it." Oh, cool. So not only do you champion Miss Swift's avarice and billionaire status, but you also are unashamed to admit to your blind consumption of her music and merchandise, no matter where they might originate in production or sincerity. Just as Swift takes and takes and takes, Swifties' consumerism of Taylor Swift cannot be quelled.
The tortured artist's most vulnerable and sincere poetry...available now in 21 different versions!

I Am Tortured Poet, Hear Me Whinge

Look - even if Taylor's intention is to characterize TTPD as more "tortured" and "angry", the main thread of the album is "I was ghosted by my decade-long situationship with a controversial indie boy and my fucking stupid fans wrote a 'Speak Up Now' open letter prompting me to drop him" anger, which is adequately expressed in the lyrics and performances. The extent of Taylor's "female rage" on TTPD is on tracks such as "Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?", which contends with relentless media scrutiny; "But Daddy I Love Him", where Swift firmly states she'll date whoever she likes no matter how "Sarahs and Hannahs" may react; and "The Albatross", a track mythologizing her reputation and the consequences of dating her. Of course, these coincide with deep psychological wounds that formed during Swift's early years in the media, and so, from her feminist perspective, these subjects tackle the misogyny and double standards that she faced.
Yet Taylor Swift still has no grounds to be claiming that TTPD best exemplifies female rage and therefore she, in the context of this album, is female rage incarnate. As the daughter of a stock broker and mutual fund marketing executive, Taylor was born into wealth and allowed privileges like trips and subsequent relocation to Nashville all so that she might get a record deal. Her father even invested at least $120,000 into the then-fledgling label, Big Machine Records, which ensured Taylor's place with Borchetta after leaving her dead-end development deal with Sony. The fact that her parents were able to buy her a fucking brand new guitar for Christmas and pay for music lessons says so much about the financial security and safety of her childhood.
Money is privilege and protection, and despite Swift's experiences with misogyny and loser boyfriends, she does not know what female rage is.
Her rage is derived from her frustrations with her obsessive fans pulling the moral superiority card on Taylor in response to her rebound with Matty Healy. That's literally it. She's just pissed that the monster she created is no longer obediant, it's become a feral, sovereign entity that depletes the world of its natural resources and thinks it is more intelligent than it actually is because it's mommy has started to talk to it with big words. Apparently, 'illicit', 'elegy', 'nonchalant', and 'precocious' are considerably big words for the oafish monster, and I find it strange that this level of literacy is present in a group of fans that allegedly have GPAs of 3.5 or higher, but I digress.
Taylor Swift has never been one paycheck away from destitution. Taylor Swift has never experienced racial discrimination. She may have instances of gender discrimination, but she possesses the ideal white, blonde American beauty standard and therefore reaps the benefits of being a conventionally attractive woman. Taylor Swift has sufficient social capital. Taylor Swift is a billionaire woman prolonging her victimhood though she, as a woman, has mostly had control over her image and music (unlike her contemporaries). Taylor Swift is NOT entitled to be championed for her "female rage", nor should she be. Taylor Swift has never even been the struggling artist, for fuck's sake. I don't give a fuck if she's trying to fill the empty lunch tables of her past. Taylor Swift purporting herself, her unpolished album, and her lukewarm feminism as a musical bleeding with female rage is asinine.

Sigh Try and Come For My Job, Poors

Out there in the world right now is a 23-year-old woman, a recent college grad, who works as a barista. She has to wake up and get ready to go into a minimum wage job because she cannot get a job in her field. She doesn't have healthcare benefits or sick time, so she has to go into work no matter how she's feeling. All day long she is berated by vicious customers and creepy men, and, exhausted from being on her feet, she knows she has to go home to her shitty roommate that never does the dishes and her roommate's shitty dog. To comfort herself, she considers getting a treat, but thinks against it when she remembers that matcha lattes cost $15 and they taste like milky dirt. She knows that she needs to buy groceries this week, and so the woman resolves to go home, but notices that her gas tank is low. She goes to put gas in the car, but the pump stops at $27.86 because that's all that she has in her checking account. The woman, bereft and reeling, sinks into the driver's seat. "Well," she thinks, her head in her hands, "at least I don't have Taylor Swift's job. I just couldn't imagine."
Fame is somewhat of a choice. If at any moment Taylor feels that she is misunderstood, misconstrued, or overwhelmed by public opinion, she can LEAVE the public eye - Lord knows she has the retirement fund and residuals to do so. In "I Can Do It With a Broken Heart", the TTPD song about meeting the demands of your career-zenith mega-tour while in the relationship trenches, Taylor ends the song by rambling,

"You know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart...you know you're good...and I'm good, cause I'm miserable, and no one even knows!...try and come for my job."

Yeah, obviously we wouldn't know, you recently passed the billionaire threshold and are the most famous and in-demand performer in the world right now. Taylor Swift makes an estimated $10 to $13 million dollars A NIGHT on the Eras Tour. Furthermore, the Eras Tour movie grossed $261.6 million globally, (which, as the producer, Taylor takes home 57% of the ticket sales) not counting the streaming revenue from Amazon Prime Video and the estimated $75 million deal that Disney paid to have it on Disney+. We're not even considering the income from cheap plastic popcorn buckets and drink cups plastered with colored squares in her Era-specific likeness.
It's funny. Taylor Swift often said that being famous wasn't hard, that she "isn't complaining". I'm sure it is difficult to always have to present in a good mood, else you'll end up misrepresented in the media, and I'm sure it's invasive to virtually have no privacy or semblance of anonymity. Still, Taylor Swift shows up each night of tour and performs. For a majority of her career, she has penned her sad songs while on the road. Most of "Red", her breakup album, was written in the thick of the Speak Now World tour. Now, some Swifties say they almost "feel bad" for attending the Eras Tour with Swift's revelations in this song, that they have had a 'dimmed experience' upon hearing Taylor's misery whilst performing. Despite the fact that Taylor said that "this was the happiest she's ever been" at Gilette Stadium in May, the lyrics "boohoo, woe is me, smile for the cameras and make the fans happy!!!" are jarring for Eras attendees.
While Taylor Swift was making double-digit millions a night in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil and feeling miserable, Ana Clara Benevides Machado passed away due to heat exposure. The concert promoters, Time For Fun, are now the subject of a criminal investigation due to their lack of adequate hydration and safety. Taylor Swift cancelled the Sunday show that was to follow and offered VIP tent tickets to Benevides Marchado's family, which was a kind gesture, but perhaps incongruous to the incident of which they were offered as consolation. Everyone grieves differently, of course, but I'm not sure attending the very show at the very same venue that my daughter or sister passed away in two days prior, where the singer CONTINUED the show despite her death, would be healthy for closure.
There was no female rage at the show as Swift never saw Benevides Machado pass out. There was no female rage towards the disregard for fans as humans while Swift elected to proceed with her Brazil tour dates despite the country being in historic heatwaves (at risk of overheatting herself). If Taylor Swift was so shaken by touring with a broken heart or a fan's passing, she wouldn't have added an additional North American leg of Eras just two months after the Matty breakup. She's brokenhearted but willing to mend the cracks with your money and move onward with her worldwide female rage induced pillaging.
No matter what happens, even if you die at a Taylor Swift concert, Taylor collects a big fat check and flies away. She doesn't know you as anything other than a conversion rate or earning potential despite what her nearly 20-year long parasocial relationship with fans might otherwise indicate. She knows that, while some Swifties are without disposable income, they feel obligated to spend on a "48 Hours Only!" exclusive vinyl variant instead of necessities because they are so entrenched in Taylor Swift's intoxicating celebrity, they'll prioritize materialistic fandom before their needs. This is good enough for her because this means she can expand her real estate portfolio and finance her cat's lavish lifestyles. They're worth an estimated $100 million dollars. Her three cats could pool their net worth and solve world hunger.
While you and I might be denied bereavement leave and barely surviving the current political and economic climate, Taylor Swift has to, instead of gets to, perform for stadiums at full attendance for three nights in a row across the globe. You and I might be replaced by AI at our longtime jobs, but Taylor Swift is threatened with losing more and more money each time you listen to a "Stolen Version" of her songs. If we don't buy every variant of all of her albums, then who is going to pay for the fucking cats?
It is tone deaf to spend as she spends and lives as she lives in this economy, but this is her reality. She was able to donate $100,000 to all of her tour truck drivers, and that's wonderful, but it leads me to wonder about the ethos of the 2020s where one woman can hoard such life-changing amounts of money. Remember in 2014 when she gave a fan $90 ($120 in today's money) to get Chipotle because she had no fucking clue how much it cost? This is a 34-year-old woman who is increasingly out of touch with the reality for working class people and women in general. Normal everyday adults must wake up and go to their thankless jobs, and yet Taylor Swift, despite all her riches, incessantly references the lows of her life and career as a public figure and entertainer to farm sympathy and drive sales. And still, the corporate women have latched onto "I cry a lot, but I am so productive! It's an art!" as their cubicle battle cry.
Do you think that, from up in her private jet, Taylor Swift gazes at the world through her poetic, tortured eyes, and thinks, "All the little people, in their cars, walking, going about their lives...all those girls that don't support girls...do they know that I've made an album about female rage?"

Conclusion/TLDR

Thank you for reading. I would love to hear your critical insights towards this entire ordeal: TTPD, the trademark, the implications of it all.
TLDR: Taylor Swift is a bad feminist and is delusional to think that the TTPD eras set exemplifies female rage at women's injustice.

My wife, family and I live in one of the outer boros of NYC. I became a nurse last year and went into psych. We moved out of our small cramped basement apartment a few months after I started working, we've been living in a 3 bedroom with an attic ever since, paying $2800 in rent (heat/hot water included). I currently make $110k/year. Next year that's supposed to go up by 5% plus additional $2000 in experience pay as per union contract.
I feel like the cost of living shot up while I was in the midst of finishing school and I don't know it feels like what I make is kinda not enough? So our total monthly expenses are about $3900 (rent and everything), between my wife and I, I pay $3100/month of that (she makes less). So basically every two weeks, I net about $3200, $1550 of that goes to bills, I then try to put away $500 for savings, and im left with $1150. That sounds like a lot but if you're not careful, it can go quickly in NYC thanks to stupid increased prices for everything.
I don't know if I'm the one at fault here or not, but because of this I've been debating moving to another state. Where Idk. Definitely not California, Florida, or Texas. But it got me thinking is it really better in any of the other states? Or is it simply just a different flavor of bullsh!t? Am I better off staying here and finding a place slightly lower in rent?

I had to think about what did I use my points for as most of the posts in travel-related subreddits tend to focus on min-maxing their redemptions. There were times where I was concerned about paying points vs cash, but then I had to evaluate whether I would actually have another opportunity to use the points. The victory is sweet when that aspirational award is redeemed, but there are also the little redemptions along the way.
Over the course of 3 years of being in the points game through a combination of sign-up bonuses, spending, and occasional points purchase:

• 2 nights at Hyatt Regency Vancouver
• One-way Southwest Airlines flight returning from a Puerto Vallarta wedding for two people
• Points + Cash for one night for said PV wedding through Chase travel portal
• 4 nights at Hyatt Place Waikiki
• Points + Cash for 1 night at Park Hyatt Aviara Resort
• 2 nights at Andaz Tokyo
• Points + Cash for 6 nights at Hyatt House Tokyo Shibuya
• 3 nights at Hyatt Centric Waikiki
• Points + Cash for 2 nights at Hyatt Regency Yokohama
• 2 nights at Hyatt Regency Hakone
• 4 nights at Hyatt Place Kyoto
• Points + Cash for 4 nights at Caption by Hyatt Namba Osaka
• 1 night at Hyatt Regency O'Hare
• 2 First Class ANA flight to Japan
• 1 Business Class ANA return flight from Japan (still waiting for one more seat to open up...)
• 1 night at Grand Hyatt Manchester San Diego
• 2 nights at Mar Monte Santa Barbara
• Points + Cash for a few admissions and tours through Chase Travel Portal (that I can't retrieve because it's been a while now...)
• Points + Cash for a 2-person Alaska Airlines flight

Originally, I just wanted the points to pay for most, if not all, of my aspirational trip to Japan. But between the pandemic and job changes, I just let it get pushed back and used the points for some other redemptions in the meantime.
Decisions that led to using a mix of points and cash basically boils down to either not having enough points to cover the whole bill or just cutting down the cash price when it ended up being a 1:1 equivalent for points to cash. I still have a few aspirational trips that I want to cover with points, like Maui or Europe, so I'll stick around a bit longer.

We’ve been working on a Boring Topper with the goal to enhance comfort for sleepers that might find their current mattress slightly too firm. By adding an additional 2” of high-quality comfort foam, you’ll be able to augment the current mattress feel to something more soft and plush.
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hello! I recently bought a Sigma 18-50 and today is my last day to return it to Amazon so I’m trying to decide if it’s worth keeping it.
I originally got it because I own a Fuji 16-80 that I took to Japan last year but didn’t end up using while I was there. I only used it a couple times to get shots at 80mm. I also took my Fuji 27mm f2.8 (used 90% of the time) and TTArtsian 50 mm f1.0 (manual lens, used for all my night photography)
I went to Europe after Japan in the same summer and decided to go full out minimalist and took only my 27 mm pancake for 6 weeks in Europe. I loved it, but found myself a bit limited when I was hiking etc. I wanted to find a Zoom that’s smaller than 16-80.
So my currently dilemma: is it even worth keeping the Sigma 18-50 if it’s not going to be the only lens I take? I’m going travelling again this summer and honestly I’d still want to bring a prime or 2 so I can have sharper images + better low light performance. Ex. I recently bought a 35mm f1.4 I want to try.
I’m wondering if I just don’t like zoom lenses LOL. I feel like I just want to take a couple primes because it’s more lightweight on my camera and call it a day, but I’m worried I’ll miss the range.
TL;DR Anyone totally go Zoom-less when travelling? Can the Sigma 18-50 replace primes for quality?
If I just take 27mm and 56mm will that be enough? I might sell the 35 and get 56 to get more diversity.

Looking for 4-6 players for a one shot called survive the night. Time friday 18:15 gmt using foundry + discord.
You all are staying at a tavern on the way to a nearby city while a storm blows over. Maybe for trade, adventure or something else. It doesn't matter when a knock at the door. The door swings open and a man in a thick leather coat drips on the floor. He steps and another before collapsing to the floor. it was not water dripping from his coat.
Shadow of the demonlord is a grim dark fantasy setting that is easy to pick up and play.