Hi Morgan, Longtime listener, first time writing in. My best friend and I are having trouble figuring out the right thing to do in this situation and wanted to get an outside perspective. Buckle up because this is a LONG one because theres a lot of backstory that’s necessary.
Would we be the assholes if we didn’t attend our childhood best friends wedding?
There is a lot of context in this storyline so I’ll try to give a lot of detail. We start in January of 2023, my best friend, Greta(26F) and I(26F) get in contact with one of our childhood best friends, Laura (26F), and plan a visit to catch up on the past 10ish years that we’ve been apart. Laura moved away from our hometown when we were 15. Now Greta and I live about 2 hours from where Laura moved to when we were young, so we reached out and invited her and her fiancé Logan(26M) up to stay with us and hang out.
They come visit, we have such a great time, her fiancé was pretty quiet and distant the whole time, but the 3 of us together were big talkers so I just chalked it up to him not being able to get a word in and they left. In March they came back to visit again and announced to us that they were moving a few states away. We were really sad, but happy for them since they were getting to move somewhere that they’d wanted to be for a while. They were going to elope together after a few months but Logan had a university study abroad for a month in Japan so they were going to wait until after.
So, he leaves for Japan in May, and while he is away a girl reaches out to Laura from the college that Logan attends. This girl tells Laura that her friend had been getting really close with Logan, uncomfortably so and she wanted to give Laura a heads up that she thought they were romantically involved. Greta and I were worried but Laura brushed it off and said it was probably nothing, so Greta and I dropped it because we didn’t feel close enough to Laura to tell her we felt like she should look into it more.
Flash forward 2 weeks into Logan’s study abroad, he calls Laura at 5AM to let her know that he doesn’t think he wants to get married anymore. She’s distraught but has to go into work that morning and calls us after to let us know. We support her, you know he fucking sucks for doing that not only over the phone but right before she went into work, real shady. Greta and I are very worried about Laura because Laura really wants to make it work, but we still don’t say anything because we just want to be there for her.
He gets back and agrees to go to couples counseling, they do couples counseling for 2 weeks, during this time he repairs her car. Replaces a tire, breaks, oil change, the works, he’s been working with cars for a long time, so this was no biggie. Well after that two weeks, Laura comes home to all of Logan’s stuff packed and he tells her it’s over and he’s moving back home. He leaves. She’s devastated. We comfort her, come up and visit her, and tell her that she doesn’t need him and she slowly starts getting over him. Meanwhile she gives us A TON of context about her relationship with Logan. She paid for his college, he has had no job for the past 2 years while getting his degree, so she had been financially supporting them both. She paid for his trip to Japan, he put her in 20K of credit card debt, and more in personal loans, etc. Then in couples therapy told her he wasn’t attracted to her because she made money and he didn’t (so weird).
So immediately Greta and I are like, “Girl, we had a bad feeling, we wanted to tell you but didn’t want to upset you, we’re just glad you’re finally out of that mess”. She tells us that next time we should come to her and be honest with her, we apologize and agree. Then one day Laura calls us to tell us that she almost got into a really bad car accident. She lives in a mountainous area and her breaks went out on her when she was driving on the interstate on a hill, she managed to pull of into a grass median and slow the car down.
She gets the car towed to a mechanic that night and heads to work the next morning. Mechanic calls her midday. He asks he who worked on her car last, she said “My ex” and he said “Is he still in your life?” she said no. And he said “Good, Because I’ve never seen anything like this in my 20 years as a mechanic.” Her brake fluid hadn’t been connected so all the break fluid drained out. Her brake pads weren’t fastened/screwed in to the wheels, the were just placed in there. And he back tire bolts were stripped so hard that he said he tire probably would’ve come off had she kept driving.
Later that week, Logan asks to talk to her, she agrees only to get closure on the situation. Well he calls and begs her to get back together, she says no absolutely not. Then he asks” How’s the car?” She said, “Well I almost died last week”, he immediately jumped to the defensive “Well, that had nothing to do with me, I didn’t do anything” a very guilty response, so we were all convinced he tried to kill her. She filed a police report on him and started moving on. This is in July.
Now we move into part two of this debacle. My partner and I go up to visit her in September and she’s doing well on her own, she’s having fun, dating around, putting herself first, in therapy, just doing really well, were happy for her. She hasn’t really made any friends which is making her lonely but we were telling her to get involved in clubs and meet people, etc.
We leave our trip which was really fun and head back home. 2 weeks later, Laura says she’s met this really great guy, its almost October at this point, she’s gone on multiple dates with him and really likes him, were happy for her, still a bit concerned, but if she’s happy we’re happy. So Laura, Greta, and I plan a girls trip to come up and visit Laura for a long weekend. Laura wants us to vet this new guy, make sure he’s a good dude. She tells us she really values our input and so Greta and I are so excited to go on this trip with an open mind. November rolls around, one month before our trip and Laura announces that the new guy, we’ll call him Will (29M) has moved in with her, bringing his dog with him. Greta and I are a bit shocked but we didn’t say anything bc we’ve both done stuff like that before and Laura was struggling to keep up with rent on her own (she was still in the house that her ex fiancé left her in) so we knew she could use a roommate.
December is finally here and Greta and I hop on a plane and Will and Laura pick us up from the airport, first impression in the car was fine, he seemed nice, he drove us back to their place and we walk into the house. I come face to face with a completely different living room than I saw in September, all of Laura’s art and stuff are moved out of the living room replaced with the following: a giant poster of Elon Musk smoking a joint, a poster model of a rocket, a poster of Jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun. And a bookshelf full of Will’s books and Lego sets on display. Alarm bells are going off in my head and Greta’s at this point. We have a little conversation and because it’s late, we go to bed. We sleep in a room that outside of the house in the backyard, it has full heating so its basically just like a bedroom with a deadbolt. I double lock the dead bolts and we go to bed.
At 3am I’m woken up by Greta shaking me in a panic, asking me if I remembered to double deadbolt the door, I told her I did and that were okay and we both went back to sleep. When we woke up the next day, and she told me she had a weird feeling that he was gonna come in our room in the night. I agreed, and told her that was why I double dead bolted the door.
We go through our girls trip which ended up not being a girls trip at all, Will was by our side the entire time. Laura and he talked about looking at ENGAGEMENT RINGS, they bought a ring sizer, she was picking out her faves. He never let us have girl time except for one hour trip we took downtown to window shop. He would come sit in Greta and my room when we were talking with Laura, he would watch movies with us, he went everywhere with us. Not only that but in the middle of conversations, he would pull out his guitar and just start playing in the middle of us talking, or when we sat down to watch a movie. There is one bathroom in the house, and the main house part is very small about 650 square feet, my friend Greta has bathroom anxiety, she doesn’t like to poop in public places so she asked Laura and I if we would grab Will and the dog, and just go for a quick walk around the block while she used the bathroom. It was no biggie, so we got ready and went on a walk, we got 20 feet out the door and Will starts griping about how he doesn’t want to be outside and that Greta is a selfish pooper, and continues to complain the entire time were outside. We don’t even go for a walk, we stop at the corner of the street and just stand there because he doesn’t want to go any further.
At this point I’m annoyed with this guy, he just seems really controlling. To add to it, he didn’t want to go for a hike in the mountains, so Laura didn’t want to go so we ended up spending the entire weekend inside their house basically, even though we were in a beautiful area, and hiking is a group favorite, because he didn’t want to go. We didn’t. Also this is a personal anger of mine but I bought a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts (they were $18, which is crazy) and he ate EIGHT OF THEM. it pissed me off so bad, I had to hide the box that night just so I had 1 donut left over in the morning. Anyway onto the big finale.
Our last night there we finished up watching a movie and the events that unfold all happen within 3 minutes, keep that in mind. Laura had taken an edible so she was pretty out of it, like laying on top of the dog, whispering, just all around sounding really tired. Will says hes gonna take her to bed and Greta and I say were gonna get ready for bed in the bathroom. Bedroom and bathroom are five steps fro each other. I brush my teeth and use the bathroom while Greta is brushing hers and then I walk out of the bathroom and tell Greta that I’m grabbing my stuff to head over to our outside bedroom. I grab my bag from the kitchen counter, which is right next to their bedroom door. The bedroom door is open so I say goodnight to both of them and tell Greta I’ll see her in a sec, she’s just finishing up. Maybe 45 seconds pass and I’m waiting in our bedroom when I get 3 texts from Greta “OH MY GOD” “HELP” “HOLY SHIT”, Greta comes running out of the house, slamming the back door, and I run up to her.
She tells me that they were loudly having sex in their bedroom with the door open, mind you the bathroom is 5 steps from the bedroom. the kitchen counter is right next to the bedroom and Greta had to walk over to it to grab her stuff.
We are freaked the fuck out at this point not only was it super disrespectful but Greta was super affected by it, which who wouldn’t be it was disturbing. Because mere moments before Laura went to bed she was so high. And I smoke regularly so I know what it looks like when someone is super high and I hadn’t gotten that high in a long time. She was very out of it. So this really bothered us both.
The next day, were ready to go home, we get to the airport where they drop us off and once the two of us are in the airport we both look at each other and both just say “that was horrible”, we both felt like the entire trip we had a bad feeling about him and didn’t want to ruin the vibes of the trip so we just didn’t say anything about it. So were sitting in the terminal writing down a list of all the red flags, all the instances where he gave us a bad feeling. And overall just as a person he gave us a really bad feeling. Just gross, nasty, icky feeling. Not sure how to describe it well but I just knew something was off and Greta said she felt the same.
Laura had asked us to give our opinion on what we thought of him so we drafted up a letter to her, with key moments and points that we felt were big signs that he may not be a good guy. It includes everything we went over in this story, I didn’t want to supply to much of our opinion on the situation but I know that my bias comes out in this story a bit.
We wrote to her, and she responded to us with basically “I appreciate your concern, I will take your opinions into consideration” Its worth it to note that they were talking about getting engaged in March of 2024 (It is Early December 2023 at this point) and in our letter we told her that she should give their relationship more time, and get to know him better before they get engaged.
Our relationship with her after that became very one sided, Greta and I tried our best to keep messaging her but she really never responded so we kind of gave up. End of January we get a text from her, a picture of her and him she has an engagement ring on, “We’re engaged!” Greta and I respond with a Congrats! and a heart emoji, we’re super concerned but we have genuinely said all we can in that letter a little over a month before, so It didn’t feel right to say it again.
March she posts her “I said yes to the dress post” with Wills mom and his two sisters. She still doesn’t have any friends up where she lives so it makes sense for her to bring his family along. She didn’t message us about it, which is fair because we hadn’t been talking. We just thought they were getting eloped, because Greta has always said she wanted something small since she isn’t super close with her family (they’re not great).
So we left it there until last week I received an invitation in the mail to their wedding. Its this September on a Monday night.
Greta and I would have to pay around $500 each in order to even go to the wedding, calculating in airfare, shared rental car, shared hotel room, and that doesn’t even include, food, gas, wedding gift, etc. The two of us are not well of financially, we both live paycheck to paycheck so it would be really hard for us to go in general not to mention that the wedding is on a Monday night, so I have to take off extra days of work that I really don’t have. Same with my best friend, were in the same industry so wen have the same days off and all of that.
And I know it took us a while to get here but would we be the assholes if we decided not to attend her wedding?
TLDR: Best friend’s ex fiance tries to kill her in past relationship, she moves on two months later, her new partner moves in with her 3 weeks after dating. We go visit her and meet him, he’s go a lot of red flags, we tell our best friend, she distances herself and gets engaged weeks later. Invites us to her wedding in September that is also on a Monday. AWTA?

My fellow gamers, for too long has our community suffered the indignation of an intolerable culture that has denigrated, besmirched, exploited, and has outright demonized our culture of unique individuals with a genuine love of a hobby that they see as profitable and progressive. They have taken beloved IP’s (Intellectual Properties) and twisted them into their own personal ideological crusade of undermining and humiliating the core aspects of characters they deemed as “Toxic” or “White Supremacy”. Through the guise and protection of DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusivity) & ESG (Environmental, Social, and Governance) they have used our influence in the entertainment industry to push their narratives and agendas that have stigmatized our culture with numerous anti-consumer practices that they call “being progressive”. But the truth of the matter is they were never really looking to be a part of our community, they simply wanted to use our community as a tool of activism and propaganda in the entertainment industry as it was extremely profitable, and they wanted inclusion in that division. Ever since GamerGate & Female Frequency, we have had to endure the incursion of forced ideologies, xenophobic behaviors and inferior overpriced products that have never been in our best interest and have been flat out disgraceful towards foreign media.
Before Gaming had become a major source of entertainment, we were often categorized as anti-social or societies rejects where because we found more enjoyment in playing fictional characters and not spending as much time out and about, we never fully assimilated in society (which is a good thing if you ask me). From 1998 to 2007, at the height of innovation, creativity and production, Gaming had reached a golden age in which it had revolutionized society. Hollywood Execs who had ruined the movie industry turned their attention to video games as a source of income since video games had outperformed movies in terms of profit. No one was concerned about gaming, much less diversity or inclusivity until it became profitable. This makes people like SBI look extremely disingenuous as they were not interested in gamers as a community with its own culture. They simply wanted to use it as another weapon in identity politics.
Microtransactions; the hidden enemy to gamer progress and inducer to mental laziness of our community. Microtransactions have been around for a long time; however, it has never been more potent and apparent than in recent years. It has aided in the dismantling and segregation of players on the ideology of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) and has created another sub-culture of gamers who have no real drive to be better outside of how much money they put into the game. This has degraded our culture as well as we have become “fat” off transactional gaming but at the same time we have been “starved” of purposeful gaming where our achievements were our sustenance. I am not saying that microtransactions are bad, but when they are exploitative and predatorial like they have been and don’t give gamers room to grow, we become lethargic and unwilling to improve ourselves as gamers. Oversaturated microtransactional games are one of the many reasons why we have become complacent and unwilling to fight against the exploitative tactics used by big brand game companies such EA, Ubisoft, ActivisionBlizzard, NaughtyDog and so many other western business model companies. Western style games were not like this in the past, they had much more depth and actual effort put into them with the gamer in mind. This has not been the case for over a decade and our connection to western developers has been whittled down to just being transactional. That is one of the reasons why you see so many remasters and remakes in today’s gamer community. They have lost their willingness to improve as developers of games and simply accept corporate/share holder rules.
Game journalists also do not have any real integrity or purpose outside of being funded for their involvement in promoting IPG (Identity Political Games) in a positive light to the public whether it’s positively received or not. They are not interested in what we have to say, they all support the same agenda and that is why they are a dying breed. Within the next couple of years, they will be out of the job and more than likely they will not be able to stay in the industry giving how they have responded to past articles that have clearly been scripted on the premise of diversity and racism. Not only that, but most of them are also extremely hostile to the community as they stereotype and defame the individuals that are a part of the community they are supposed to serve. We have been mentally liberated from their lies and coercive tactics as we tend to laugh at their obvious attempt at virtue signaling while hiding their misdoings so that they can play the victim.
My gamer brothers & sisters, I would not suggest the following action that we must take now without good cause. I have weighed our options and the best option for us now is this…...CULTURAL SECESSION. Naturally this is a form of segregation where they would more than likely claim they are being segregated by the dominant culture of the gaming community but that is incorrect. For years now we have been the ones who are often marginalized and ostracized for the smaller portion of our community. And when we aren’t, we’re exploited for more funds so that these companies can stay in business only to subject us to low quality products that coincide with the “WOKE Agenda” that are often huge expenses to these big brands i.e. AAA/AAAA games that will eventually flop for its obvious forced diversity and bug infested product which will undoubtedly piss off the consumer to the point of wanting a refund. Losing copious amounts of capital and stock in the process, not to mention their reputation is permanently marred.
We must separate on every cultural level in terms of entertainment and ideology. We must reject everything from the west that promotes toxic western beliefs, practices, and exclusion from other cultures (i.e. Southeastern Countries such as Japan and Korea). Japan & Korea have been the targets of unjust discrimination from Western Developers, Western Journalists, Western Localizers (The Wokelizers) and Western Society Prejudice regarding their sense of aesthetics as Westerners hate the aesthetic sense of these countries. The reason why they resort to such base tactics isn’t just because it weaponizes the ideal female form but it’s also because they have deep-seated insecurities about their own looks so when they see attractive female characters, they use terms such as “unrealistic” or “hypersexualized” to establish the moral high ground. But the truth is, they want to feel superior to that which is ideal, so they insult and dehumanize this figure that portrays natural female beauty because they see it as an insult to their own social superiority in what they believe is a hierarchy of them being at the top of all other women. Because of this and so many contributing factors, their movies flop harder than the Fat Chocobo landing on a group of enemies and their games seismically fail just as much if not more. We must sever our connection to Western Developers, Publishers, and ALL Western-Centric Entertainment for they seek to mentally enslave us to their Xenophobic ideology.
Let’s define Western Culture and its traits. Western Culture/Society is composed of more than several different ideologies that work in unison with one another to facilitate dominance over multiple aspects of society. Business, Social, Political, Technological, and sometimes even Global Affairs are affected by these ideologies that portray a specific mindset of Western beliefs. What are those ideologies you ask?

• Perpetual Victimhood: By weaponizing the fact that they are marginalized and of a small portion of western society, they can push their agenda to absurd standards that ultimately ostracize the main demographic. And when companies don’t capitulate, they are labeled as anti-progressive/misogynist’s or cohorts of White Supremacy. They use this to cancel their targets and silence them through societal defamation to keep the public on their side. They also use this mindset to justify their own lack of self-agency as they tend to throw companies who do adhere to their demands but miserably fail to turn a profit under the bus so that they can maintain face in front of the public while denying their actual involvement. They will never accept “Sense of Agency” when it’s negative but will gladly accept it when a positive outcome shines on them as if they are entitled to it.

Official Wiki GamerGate Page)
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• Societal Terrorism: This is another form of ideology weaponization that they use in order to make companies “toe-the-line” with their agenda. By weaponizing cancel culture, they exert dominance over these companies but in exchange they also reimburse those companies with DEI & ESG funds that raise their credit score as well as having social status with the marginalized demographic. However; cancel culture has not succeeded in years and developers and publishers probably only want the money and the DEI ESG rating. But they have to maintain the image of having social economic power so that they can continue to strong-arm other developers into compliance and promoting financial benefits of DEI & ESG. In other words, if you are not for sale, they discredit and stigmatize you in the industry.

Asmongold Clips.
https://youtu.be/Iq86DnmX2xY
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• “Its not us, its you who’s wrong” Mentality: This mentality is especially annoying as they tend to use it to hide their incompetence. They often look down upon gamers who are not in the industry to hide their obvious lack of knowledge on game development thinking that their job title grants them special status that they believe gives them the right to be condescending. But the truth they never wanted revealed has already strangled their careers of all credibility. They were never GAMERS, they were INVADERS. Community Colonists that seek to indoctrinate next generational gamers into their hive-mind and brand previous generations of gamers as villains.

@GeeksandGamers
https://youtu.be/1HbrTkqQFuM
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• Double-standard Enforcement: By labeling something as “unrealistic” or “hypersexualized”, they can claim this is morally wrong if it promotes traditional dynamics between men and women. Heterosexual relationships are condemned while at the same time Same-sex relationships are praised. Additionally, heterosexual relationships with main white male characters turn antagonistic and spotlight stealing. This is deliberate as to promote the “Girl Boss” ideology to indoctrinate women into the Feminazi state of mind. While at the same time, should a male character also adopt the “I don’t need male/female” ideology its seen as Toxic Masculinity which isn’t even a real thing. The idea of a strong male character is taboo while enforcing strong female characters is the ideal.

@MugenLord
https://youtu.be/to5Uciy_yeg
@EndymionTv
https://youtu.be/7TPTR8-qmbk
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• Dehumanization/Demonization: This is something that most military branches use in order to remove conscious inhibitions such as mass slaughter is wrong or categorization. By enforcing ideologies to denounce humanity in certain targets, it deactivates your conscience by saying this is not human therefore its ethically okay to treat this target without compassion and deny the fact it has sentience. We gamers fall under this category for journalists, developers, companies and society at large. This is a tactic we are familiar with to an extent as it implies that we are not normal when we do not do what everybody else is doing. “Geeks are the worse” or “Nerds need to fall into a pit of lava” are verbal dehumanization forms that most people in society say and we as Gamers tend to be relegated to those categories. This is their way of imposing the social hierarchy on us by establishing superiority. We know this as Gamers as we see it very often in the games that we play and some times experience it in real life.

https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Gamergate#The_end_of_their_relevance
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• Deflection/Projection: This is basic psychology 101. By redirecting the conversation away from their mistakes and back on to the opposing view to avert blame and justify their innocence they can avoid criticism. However; deflection is a CONSCIOUS decision, meaning they have no real argument to justify their incompetence. If you can consciously process the situation, you have self-agency which means you don’t have a legitimate excuse. Projection is something else entirely. Most times, Projection doesn’t work on conscious decisions rather it is automatically deployed when feeling threatened, anxious or both. Instead of accepting accountability for feelings or actions that are deemed socially unacceptable they accuse others of committing that unacceptable behavior thereby exonerating themselves and proving that those feelings and/or actions are not their own.

@TheTrentReport
https://youtu.be/bPIPSKruYRo
These traits are so nefarious and unconscionable that I have a hard time believing that anyone could harbor them. However, given the social, political, and economic climate that we are in, those in power who use their influence on controlling society most definitely possess these insidious traits. Everything that they do is all about control and since video games are the biggest market in the world, they want control over it and the communities built around it to accrue more wealth and to use that wealth to subjugate other cultures. Mainstream media is a tool as well as mainstream organizations and sites to help accomplish this goal.
The government recently announced its intentions towards what they believe is “GamerGate 2.0” and now even the ADL has made an official appearance, referring to gamers as “extremist’s”. We know EXACTLY what they are doing, and they aren’t even trying to hide it anymore because they don’t think we are aware of their motives. This is just a pretext for them to exert even more control and we know why, it’s because they want the influence we as a community have to must serve them. So here is what we do my fellow gamers-
“In light of recent events and years of mainstream stigma, we the members of the Global Gaming Community [GGC] must officially renounce ALL TIES to the corporate western video game market. We have been financially exploited through predatorial monetization schemes, pelted with numerous articles of disdain and intentional misrepresentation from game journalists, news outlets regarding us as dangerous individuals and, even subjected to inferior products not only riddled with bugs but also products meant to push political agendas. For the preservation of our community and its unique culture, apart from a few select game development studios we officially sever all connections to western owned video game companies & their mainstream affiliates. From this point onward, we will no longer support western corporate developers, journalists and publishers that do not coincide with the goals of our community.”
Naturally this is completely optional. If you are okay with the state of the gaming community as it is, feel free to ignore this. But if you wish for real change and a break away from oversaturated monetization in the games you play and the push for radical ideological reform, then you are in the right place. Lets sever these rotted miasmic ties once and for all so that our community can be preserved and made better for future gamers. If you agree with this, share it with whoever you think might be interested. The more gamers who get involved, the easier it will be for us to finally break free from mainstream game companies and their associates.

I blocked all of them a few days after this post was made lol. I just decided enough is enough and it’s not unreasonable to want my privacy on social media, his family is his. Especially all his first and second aunties, grandmas, cousins etc. it was a lot of them to be honest. SUCH A BIG WEIGHT off my shoulders. I also don’t post too much about my baby anymore either. When we go out as a family I asked my fiance to no longer tag me or post to his stories what we are doing or where we’re going. Too many people get fomo for some odd reason.
Well anyway I think they all noticed because not a single one of them liked my fiancé’s Mother’s Day post about me (I checked through his account and yes he lets me)
I don’t really care, I hope this means they just leave me alone. If they ever confronted me I would just tell them I needed my privacy. Also my anxiety has been getting better. Baby and I have been going out alone a couple times a week, and I feel more confident in telling people NO whether it be strangers or family!
If you missed it here’s the original post:
Today I decided to go up against my ppa that usually prevents me from leaving the house with my 8 month old to do simple errands. I took a picture of him in the cart because I was so proud of myself for going out alone and setting it up not knowing how and then going in to get our stuff with baby in the cart. That little picture was a .05 second of my happy baby with me doing funny faces behind the camera. He actually started screaming bloody murder in the clothing isle but despite my anxiety I stayed in the store and checked out. I say this because my fiance has a very large family and they ALL want to see the baby and it is just simply too hard. My son is not an easy baby. Our family visits always get cut short because he starts screaming. I can barely go to the store with him. My IG pictures don’t mean my life is easy peasy and I can just take him anywhere and let anyone do whatever with him like a toy.
I posted that picture to IG of my baby in the cart. Then someone who’s a very extended in law of mine responds “hi little guy hopefully I get to meet you one day just saying” and let me tell you why my blood is boiling if you’re still reading.
4 months ago I took my baby to go meet all the extended in laws at a park in one swift gathering. The same in law who just messaged me on IG is the same person who walked up to my car window when I was trying to breast feed my baby, I felt extremely violated and I left right after. I didn’t even get out to say bye. They had all fought over taking turns holding the baby and freaked him out beyond soothing and then the one in law follows to get a peek through the tinted window when my fiance was asking her to walk away and she wouldn’t. So yeah I haven’t spoken to her or really any of them RIGHTFULLY so.
So what gives her the audacity??? If she wants to meet the baby then maybe apologize for over stepping? And stop trying to contact me or wait for me to invite you over or out. TALK TO MY FIANCE. THATS YOUR FAMILY. I keep telling him I’m taking a step back from his dad’s side of the family, he’s in charge of making the visits happen not me. I don’t even plan to tell him she messaged me, I want a completely hands off approach and to be left alone honestly. I think I might take all of my in laws off Instagram, I miss my privacy and being able to post what I want.

Can someone explain to me specifically why this was removed, and how I’d be able to edit it without defeating the purpose of the entire story?
It was removed for breach of the “CORROBORATION/PROOF” rule, though after reviewing those terms, I don’t believe that I’ve broken them.
“A dream, a nightmare, a hallucination, a vision, a bout of sleep paralysis, is drunk and/or high, was in a coma or otherwise an altered state”— none of these are the reason behind my main character’s paranormal experience, and I’ve given no indication whatsoever in the story to suggest that they are.
In fact, I’ve outright denied the idea that my main character imagined her experience about as much as I possibly could for a story with a first person perspective.
The main character says “it definitely happened. It’s not the kind of thing you can just imagine, and I’m sure now that it wasn’t a dream,” in the second paragraph— a sentiment which she consistently attests to throughout the story, and a sentiment which is never walked back on or brought into question by the narrator.
My narrator was in a sound state of mind at the moment of her encounter, and is practical and methodical in her investigation of what happened. Any implication that she has become mentally unwell occurs long after the inciting incident which the story is built around.
I would like to respectfully request that this story be reevaluated. In the short time that it was active on nosleep, it clearly connected with people. If it cannot stand as is, then I need someone to help me make it fit the guidelines without defeating the entire purpose of the story and betraying its themes.
The nosleep subreddit is filled to the brim with stories in which the narrator’s words are taken at face value. When a narrator in a different story says “I walked to the store,” it’s not like the author HAS to give tactile, irrefutable evidence that the narrator actually walked to the store. The audience simply accepts that the narrator walked to the store. This concept of innate credibility is the bedrock upon which my entire story is built.
I do not believe my work would benefit from being altered to fit these guidelines as rigidly as possible, nor do I think that is a fair standard to hold it to. In fact, if I were to change the contents of my story in such a way, the themes which set it apart from others like it would be lost.
In short, I do not understand why my story was deleted, I do not know how to alter it to fit the guidelines beyond any shadow of a doubt without destroying its central purpose, and I refuse to believe that nosleep is not the right place for this work. I implore you to reconsider my submission, or to at least work with me to find a solution which keeps the story’s themes intact.
Here is my story:
I got grabbed
Last night, when I was home alone, a hand reached out from under the couch and grabbed me.
Nobody was there to see it, and nobody that I’ve told believes me, but it definitely happened. It’s not the kind of thing you can just imagine, and I’m sure now that it wasn’t a dream.
I was watching TV when it happened. The remote fell under the couch and I started fishing around for it without really looking, not wanting to get up from my seat. I brushed it with the tips of my fingers and it slid further underneath.
I was super annoyed— I had to get down on my knees to reach it. I finally found the remote, and that’s when it grabbed me.
As I pulled the remote out into the light, a hand shot up from under the couch and wrapped its fingers around my wrist.
I was able to yank myself away quickly. It didn’t hold on tight— just enough that I felt a little resistance. I jumped to my feet, obviously terrified.
I didn’t scream or anything. I was honestly too scared to even make a sound. My heart was beating so fast that my ears started to ring. The TV was still going, commercials droning on while I tried to process what had just happened.
The hand had only come out about a foot from under the couch. It had an arm attached to it, though I wasn’t able to see past its elbow, and it slinked back below the couch as soon as I pulled myself free from its grasp.
It didn’t hurt, and it didn’t leave any sort of bruise or mark or anything on my wrist, but I definitely felt it, and I definitely saw it.
All I could do was stare at the spot where the hand had appeared. I stood there for what felt like an eternity, until I heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps right outside my front door.
I live in a second-story apartment. It’s a pretty cramped place and a pretty old building, so whenever someone comes over I can usually hear footsteps from the moment they enter the building downstairs.
I guess I was so freaked out by the hand that I didn’t even notice someone was outside until they were already opening the door.
My roommate walked in on quite a scene. She immediately registered how off the vibe was. I could see it on her face.
She found me standing upright in the middle of our living room, TV remote in hand, facing away from the screen while Full House’s laugh track filled the air. I’m sure I’d think it was odd too.
“Hey…” she said, shifting a paper bag full of groceries in her arm while she pocketed her keys, “You good?”
I felt like I was caught with my pants down, but just seeing a familiar face brought some of the blood back to my fingers.
“N—yeah,” I stuttered. I came back online, and flicked the TV off.
I felt her eyes on me as she walked over to the kitchen. There’s no wall or anything dividing the two rooms. Like I said, the place is pretty cramped.
She started putting her groceries away as if everything was normal, but I could tell she wanted to ask what was up.
I kept looking back and forth between her and the couch. I can’t explain it, but I already knew that if I looked under there, I wouldn’t find any trace of whoever (or whatever) grabbed me.
As she started loading up the fridge, I dropped to my hands and knees once again. Without taking even a second to ready myself, I brought my head down to the ground and looked under the couch.
Nothing.
Pretty much what I expected. There was barely enough room for me to squeeze my arm under there for the remote. No way a whole person could fit beneath that thing, and even if they could, there’s no way I wouldn’t have seen them or heard them or something before they grabbed me.
“Seriously, what’s up?”
I looked up to see my roommate standing right behind me, arms crossed, clearly concerned.
I knew I was acting strange, and I knew that nothing I would come up with in the next five seconds could possibly excuse my behavior. I made a judgement call, honestly not really caring about how it would be received.
“I uh… something grabbed me earlier.”
“What?”
“Under the couch. I dropped the remote, and when I picked it up, a hand reached out from under the couch and grabbed me.”
Took her a second to respond.
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“That’s it. A hand reached out and grabbed me by the wrist. It happened like a minute before you got here.”
That part might have been a lie. I actually have no idea how long I had been standing in the middle of the room before she showed up.
“Wait so like someone broke in?”
“No. It’s just like I said. A hand reached out, grabbed me, and then it was gone.”
She just kinda looked at me for a while. I don’t blame her, but it’s not like there was any way for me to sugarcoat it.
“Are you sure?”
“What do you mean ‘am I sure?’ Yes, yes I’m fucking sure!”
My voice broke a little when I said that. I was still down on my knees, like I was praying for her to believe me.
“Okay well obviously that didn’t happen Sam.”I let out a desperate laugh and threw my hands up in the air. I slapped them down on my thighs dramatically and shook my head in exasperation.
“Yeah obviously it sounds fucking crazy but you asked what happened and that’s what happened. I don’t know how else to describe it. I’m just being honest.”
I pulled myself up to my feet and walked around to the armrest of the couch. She kept studying me, probably thinking this was all a prank or something.
“What are you doing?” She asked, arms still glued across her chest.
“I’m checking under the couch.”
I pushed one end of the couch away from the wall. It was pretty heavy, and the coffee table stopped me from moving it too far. I dragged the coffee table towards the TV to free up some space.
My roommate started staring at the spot I was clearing as if she expected to see something there too.
I went back over to the armrest.
“Can you help me?”
She snapped out of her trance and silently went to grab the other side. We pulled the couch away from the wall, revealing a thick rectangle of dust that had not seen the light of day since we moved in a year ago.
I dropped to my knees once more and began wiping away the grime with my bare hands. There was nothing but the floorboards beneath it. No surprise.
I sat there for a second, eyes darting around the floor. No fingerprints in the dust, no scratches or marks or anything. I felt the tension in the room dissipate as my roommate found her voice again.
“I think you must have imagined it.”
I didn’t. There’s no way.
“Dude, no. I felt it and I saw it. Clear as day. It was a hand, and it grabbed me. That’s not the sort of thing you can just imagine.”
She scoffed, any fear left in her giving way to frustration.
“Whatever. This is fucking stupid. I’m going to bed.”
She stomped off towards her room.
“Wait.”
She spun on her heels as I stood up, probably expecting me to tell her I was joking about the whole thing.
“Can you help me flip the couch over?”
She rolled her eyes.
“Sure. But I’m not helping you put it back.”
She helped me lift the couch off of its legs and tilt it onto its front cushions, exposing the fabric underneath. She disappeared into her room and I went to work studying the underside of the sofa.
There was a zipper lining the bottom, but I found nothing inside when I opened it up. Just a hollow wooden frame and a bunch of crumbs.
I sat back against the wall, more tired than scared at that point.
I can’t believe she thinks I’m making this up. Why would I even do that? What purpose would it serve?
As I solemnly went about rebuilding our living room, I decided that the next day (today) I was gonna take off work, wait for her to leave, and really get to the bottom of this.
I didn’t sleep at all last night. Every nook and cranny of my room felt like a door left wide open, with something sinister waiting on the other side.
What if the hand comes back? What if it wants to hurt me next time? How can I even protect myself?
After like ten restless minutes in bed, I decided to move to the floor. I couldn’t help it. I kept imagining the hand reaching up from under the bed and grabbing me again.
I made a makeshift sleeping bag out of my comforter and some pillows, and I laid on my side so I could keep an eye on the underside of my bedframe while I slept. Maybe “slept” isn’t the right word. Even down there, I couldn’t bring myself to close my eyes for longer than a minute.
Eventually sunlight began to peek through the blinds, and I heard some movement within the apartment. My roommate was finally up. I heard the front door close, and it was time to get to work.
I nearly threw my back out yanking the couch away from the wall to reveal the floorboards underneath. They aren’t real floorboards, just the kind of cheap-o fake shit they put in crappy houses to make them look more modern. Our whole apartment is like that— a thin coat of paint slapped over an old building from the 40s or whatever.
My dad actually owns this building. He lets me and my roommate stay here as long as we pay him $500 a month, which is way cheaper than most places in my area.
It’s not really an apartment building to be honest. You can tell it used to be a family home before some realtor swooped in and broke it up into apartments. There are a lot of those around here.
Anyway, the fake wood came up easy. It was only about a quarter inch thick. I was able to pull up the first plank by hammering a kitchen knife into a slit between the boards, and then I peeled a few more away by hand.
After prying away about a dozen of these fake floorboards, I started to realize that I wasn’t going to find anything without making a significantly larger dent. Right beneath the thin layer of fake wood was a layer of very real, very thick wooden beams that seemed to span well beyond the hole I had managed to claw open.
My back crackled and popped as I sat back on my heels to admire my handiwork and contemplate where to go from there. I knew I would need a power saw or some kind of heavy duty tool to get any deeper, but I was afraid of two things:

1. That these beams were supporting the entire second floor of the building, and cutting through them would make the whole thing collapse
2. That going any deeper would lead me into the ceiling of the apartment below us, and whoever lives there would call my dad before I could see what I needed to see.

Regardless of the risks, I knew I had to keep going. I was certain that something was down there. Whatever grabbed me had to have left some sort of evidence.
I can’t stop thinking about that fucking hand.
I’m not supposed to have it, but my dad gave me a master key for the whole building in case of emergencies. He could really get in trouble if anyone found out, but if this isn’t an emergency then idk what is.
There’s a service shed around the back of the building, which has seen none of the love that the main building saw when it was renovated. Decades worth of rusty antiques and rotting furniture line the walls. A shiny, modern tool bench sits unnaturally in the middle of the chaos.
I rifled through all of that shit as fast as I could. I’m not really close with my dad all things considered, and I’m sure he’d be super pissed if he found me out there. He’s so secretive about random shit all the time, and he’s constantly dropping by the building unannounced.
I found the jigsaw under a pile of old newspapers and ran back upstairs.
I probably should have checked the driveway to see if anyone was home first, because the saw made so much noise. The cord barely reached from the outlet to the spot where the couch used to be, but as awkward as the angle was, I was still able to get it in there.
I went as small as possible with my first few cuts. I started with a single beam, cutting out a section about 6x6 inches wide. I slid the chunk of wood out, and, to my relief, didn’t immediately see the plaster that would be my downstairs neighbor’s ceiling.
A tuft of insulation stuck out where I made the hole. I didn’t know that stuff is made from fiberglass or whatever, and I got a really bad splinter when I went to yank it out.
I fished some leather gloves out of my roommate’s closet and got to work on the insulation. I pulled and pulled but couldn’t get a good enough grip to remove anything more than a few bits about the size of a tennis ball.
I went back in with the jigsaw, cutting bigger and bigger chunks until I had cleared a hole about two feet in diameter.
No sign that I was gonna bring the building down, that’s good.
I hacked away for hours. More wood came up, more insulation came up, and when I finally hit a fragile-looking layer of drywall, I knew the jig was up. That’s definitely my neighbor’s ceiling. Fuck.
My roommate and I got in a screaming match when she got home. I made a pretty big mess but I don’t really give a fuck honestly.
I don’t give a fuck if she believes me. I fucking hate that bitch. I told her if she tells my dad what I’m doing, I’ll bash her brains in with the hammer. That shut her up. She left with a bag full of her clothes like an hour later.
Tomorrow I’m going to wait for our downstairs neighbor to leave and start investigating from the bottom-up. If there wasn’t any evidence on the floor up here, there HAS to be something on the ceiling down there.
If I do find something, I’ll post again. I doubt anyone will even believe me, but at this point I just want everything written down somewhere accessible in case something bad happens.
There has to be something down there. Something grabbed me. And I’m going to find out what it is.

Introduction

Pertaining to Taylor Swift, "Female Rage" has deviated from its intended meaning after Swift debuted a new performance of The Tortured Poets Department during the Eras Tour. Now, according to Swift's use of the phrase, female rage is interpreted as public backlash against Swift's dating choices rather than as a response to the broader injustices against women and women's rights. This post examines Taylor Swift's flawed feminism, philanthropy, branding, and the controversial trademark petition for the phrase "Female Rage: The Musical". Swift's background as an entertainer, indeterminate politics, and alignment with capitalism over feminism pervades her legacy, again threatening her public tolerance as not just an individual but as a brand.

Once Upon a Female Rage...

If you were cognizant in the early 2010's, you've heard countless jabs at Taylor Swift in the media. Magazines, radio, or online. Music critics did not take her seriously as a songwriter; parents put a woman on an unrealistic pedestal as the ideal role model for their children; she dated too much and used men as lyrical fodder. No matter the story, it inevitably spread, conjoined with everyone's respective opinions, and you'd be left to wonder, "Why does everyone hate this girl so much?"
Taylor's target demographic has always been young or adolescent girls, more so when Swift herself was one. She made music that spoke to the awkward misfit, cultivating a para-social relationship with fans on MySpace, then later twitter, Instagram, and YouTube, where Taylor posted relatable vlogs showcasing the life of a homegrown American girl. Taylor had a delayed public "growing up" and, compared to her female pop contemporaries, Swift never "gratuitously sexualized her image and seems pathologically averse to controversy" (and, apparently, never even had a sip of alcohol until she turned 21). She was more than happy to spin this narrative to allude to an inherent moral superiority above other women in the industry (Better Than Revenge, heard of it?), engaging in the very slut-shaming that she herself endured (the Madonna and Whore archetypes). The victim complex arose with the need to prove Taylor as a different type of pop girl. Based upon her holy and clean image, Swift had been dubbed "a feminist's nightmare", and that "[To Swift] other girls are obstacles; undeserving enemies who steal Taylor’s soulmates with their bewitching good looks and sexual availability." Feminism and Tennessee-Christian country values don't exactly mix, it seems.
Years later, Swift befriended Lena Dunham and thus experienced white feminism osmosis, where Dunham taught Swift that real feminists defend rapists, makes insensitive jokes about rape and abortion, and prioritize all-white casts. Swift then declared herself a feminist in 2014, saying,

"Becoming friends with Lena – without her preaching to me, but just seeing why she believes what she believes, why she says what she says, why she stands for what she stands for – has made me realize that I’ve been taking a feminist stance without actually saying so."

I suppose the male-centric songwriting subject that permeates Swift's discography contained covert feminism and that we just didn't see that. Perhaps, the "Bad Blood" song and music video were written only in jest and not about poor Katy Perry, for Swift, as a feminist, would "never make it a girl fight" or tear other women down (though all Katy did was date your terrible ex-boyfriend and allegedly steal three backup dancers from your tour). In 2013, Swift said, in response to Tina Fey and Amy Poehler's joke towards her serial dating, "There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women."
There was that time in 2015 Taylor said that Nicki Minaj was "invited to any stage [she is] on" (as if Taylor expects to have access to every stage, award, and platform that Nicki might not otherwise have as a black female artist...yikes!) in response to Nicki's criticism of the white + thin VMA nominations. Later, Nicki responded with confusion, as Swift continued, "It’s unlike you to pit women against each other. Maybe one of the men took your slot..". Of course, this 'beef' was 'squashed' when Nicki performed with Taylor at the VMAs, with Nicki quite literally only having 38 seconds of stage time without Taylor. Maybe all that parading around with a legion of famous white women - similar to the way Taylor might've done with her numerous 1989-era handbags - was in fact a stance against gender inequality, and that this display of "girl power" should be enough to constitute Swift as a feminist icon.
Even while Swift says that Dunham informed her feminist outlook, she dances around the exact contents of those beliefs: "what she believes, what she says, what she stands for" is not exactly insightful towards what beliefs Swift might have inherited. Taylor never broaches women's rights topics such femicide, FGM, forced pregnancy & marriage, sex trafficking, women in slavery, women's financial and political oppression, women's educational rights, women's health, or women's autonomy, so we can assume she only gives a fuck about "girls supporting girls" (whatever that fucking means).
Despite some questionable (and sometimes vindictive) behavior, Taylor as a young woman did not deserve every media lashing that she received. We cannot deny that most headlines and criticisms perpetuated a misogynistic rhetoric which has plagued Swift for a majority of her career. Acknowledging events such as the development of her ED, her sexual assault trial, "Famous" lyric and MV depiction of Taylor, and the explicit Twitter deepfakes, for example, as both disgusting and unfortunate things that happened to a young woman in Hollywood does not negate the fact that Taylor is mostly a performative feminist.

Get Your Fucking Ass Up and Be a Philanthropist, It Seems Like Nobody Wants to Be a Philanthropist These Days

In 2013, Taylor Swift cut the ribbon at the grand opening of the Taylor Swift Education Center at the Country Music Hall of Fame in Nashville, Tennessee. The donation amount - $4 million - was the largest individual artist gift ever donated to the Country Music Hall of Fame, which is, of course, mentioned on Swift's website. The two-story facility features three classrooms, an instrument room, and an interactive children's exhibit gallery. Swift also performed at "All for the Hall" charity shows and has donated numerous artifacts from her career (such as notable guitars, tour costumes, etc) to the museum.
This was over 11 years ago, and it is still the only notable philanthropic contribution Taylor Swift has made.
For a woman of her net worth and stature, and a woman who recognizes the difficulties for women in film and music, you would think that Taylor Swift might establish a scholarship program for women to study the arts or something. Perhaps Swift might even consider becoming a member of organizations that support female artists, or one that supports LGBTQ+ causes (since she is now proudly an ally), yet she remains superficial with her graces. Broader philanthropy, such as donating relief aid to Palestinian women or women impacted by violence and discrimination will probably never receive any financial support from Miss Swift because then she'd be using her money towards philanthropies involving anyone but white entertainers.
She even says herself in Miss Americana, "My entire moral code as a kid and now is a need to be thought of as 'good'." Well, she's certainly thought of as good, though her actions say otherwise. She's more than happy to do a vaguely altruistic song and dance for a clip-worthy interview quote and mass appeasement, then fuck off to one of her mansions on a 20 minute private jet flight, rather than actually contribute to anything pertaining to the causes she has endorsed. Yet, far too many people continue to give a woman such as her their money, time, and energy, and she hoards these resources to herself.

I Like Some of the Taylor's Songs, But What the Fuck Does She Know About Feminism?

Swift continued with her self-proclaimed feminist campaign, positioning herself as a political activist and LGBTQ+ ally in the Miss Americana documentary. The primary focus of the documentary consists of the sexual assault trial, Andrea Swift's cancer diagnosis, Taylor's ED and body dysmorphia, media scrutiny, and, largely, finally speaking up about her politics publicly, mostly her opposition to the 2018 Tennessee Republican senate candidate, Marsha Blackburn, and Blackburn's beliefs. Swift says, following a scene discussing her experience during the trial,

"I just couldn't really stop thinking about it. And I just thought to myself, next time there is any opportunity to change anything, you had better know what you stand for and what you want to say."

We must ask ourselves, though: when has Swift ever spoken up to change anything? Okay, pulling her entire catalogue from Spotify because they didn't pay their artists enough and similarly pulling her catalogue from Apple Music are changes that she leveraged due to her revenue potential and power, but they are not pertinent to the average woman's rights. Moreover, these are issues that directly impacted Taylor's income, which was enough reason for her to protest in the first place. Swift has sold the most units for a female artist in first week sales, is the first female artist with 100k monthly Spotify listeners, is the first female artist to win the Album of the Year Grammy 4 times, and is the first female artist to do X, Y, and Z, all while being inoffensive and family-friendly to boot. The actual Taylor Swift seems unwilling to compromise the brand of Taylor Swift by contributing in meaningful ways to feminist causes, especially if it is for women outside of America and Hollywood.
The reason political anthems such as "The Man" and "Only the Young" of the Lover era feel disingenuous and corporate is because, well, it is. Taylor has taken every opportunity to advance her career or public image at the expense of other women. What is truly genuine to Taylor's outlook on other women is vying for male attention, taking down female competition, and vocalizing feminist injustices only if they directly impact her and her money. Some will argue that it's satisfactory for a woman with such a huge platform to even TALK about feminism, but that just isn't enough. It's even less impressive when you candidly look at the scope of her feminist lens: "If I was the man, then I'd be THE MAN", or "I really resent the ‘Be careful, buddy, she’s going to write a song about you’ angle, because it trivialises what I do", and, of course, "We all got crowns". Feminism, but only when it happens to me. It gets worse when you look at Taylor's track record of copying other famous women and removing other female artists as potential threats to her pop prowess.
It's good for PR to align yourself with certain blanket feminist and political beliefs, therefore good for branding, therefore good for ticketing and merchandise sales, therefore good for business. And Taylor Swift is a business.
She's not a feminist. Taylor Swift is a capitalist.

I Can't Pay Those Sweatshop Workers a Livable Wage or Benefits! How Else Would I Make My Billions?

Recently, Taylor's team filed to trademark the phrase "Female Rage: The Musical" after Taylor said during Paris N1 of the Eras Tour,

"So you were the first ones to see The Tortured Poets at the Eras Tour...or as I like to call it, 'Female Rage: The Musical'."

This trademark petition was filed last week on Saturday, and news comes about just as numerous unofficial fan-made merch designs have cropped up with this phrase plastered on Fruit of the Loom basics. I'm of the opinion Swift's team motioned for a trademark so that they can send out cease & desists to all those that make knockoff merch, which disrupts potential sales for Bravado, UMG's choice merchandising company; however, since it was filed earlier, perhaps Swift has bigger plans with the bizarre use of the gendered phrase. One Swiftie referred to the phrase "female rage" as "a funny Eras Tour joke". Could it be a possible fourth version of the Eras Tour Movie? Whatever the reason, the motion to capitalize off of such a concept is disgusting, but not unsurprising, for a woman that profits on her vain feminism.
Swift, through her company, TAS Rights Managements, has also trademarked over 200 phrases, including "1989", where she owns the property rights to this calendar year on keychains, phone cases, sunglasses, stationary, bags, beverage ware, clothing, entertainment services, your subconscious, and, of course, Christmas ornaments.
The vapid consumerism in Swiftie culture is, frankly, disgusting. Bravado's sustainability statement is non-existent, the quality control is abysmal, and the materials they use are horrible. The materials, such as acrylic and polyester, are made from petrochemicals. This means they are non-renewable, shed microplastics, and are quite toxic in production. The manufacturing process to make all of those lazy-rushed Eras Tour logo graphic tees is a huge blow to environmental well-being. Apparently, though, Swifties don't give a fuck. They sell out products in seconds and either have to face the manufactured scarcity or buy from a scalper that resells for 200% of the already ridiculous retail price. This doesn't include the environmental impact of vinyl records, CD, and cassette production, of which Taylor produces many variants that sell unsustainable amounts.
If we're talking about women's rights violations, why is no one acknowledging the women that work in the inhumane sweatshop conditions that have to pump out fugly t-shirts and hats? The millions of plastic microfiber dander they are inhaling, or the toxic dyes that touch their bare skin? Are they being compensated fairly for their skilled labour and are they in safe working environments? Do these women have minimal bargaining power, and do they have authority over their worker's rights? Is Taylor Swift female raging at their injustices? Does Taylor Swift ever feels bad that her wealth was built on the backs of women of color, disadvantaged by the demands of the global economy and garment industry? Do you think she ever says a little white feminist prayer for them before she goes to sleep at night?
What's even crazier is not that Taylor herself doesn't care, it's that Swifties don't care. There CANNOT BE ethical billionaires. You only make a billion dollars if you are exploiting other human beings for capital gain. Based on public perception of the possible "Female Rage: The Musical" trademark, it seems like Swifties are already asking for merch with this phrase. "If Taylor made it, I'd buy it." Oh, cool. So not only do you champion Miss Swift's avarice and billionaire status, but you also are unashamed to admit to your blind consumption of her music and merchandise, no matter where they might originate in production or sincerity. Just as Swift takes and takes and takes, Swifties' consumerism of Taylor Swift cannot be quelled.
The tortured artist's most vulnerable and sincere poetry...available now in 21 different versions!

I Am Tortured Poet, Hear Me Whinge

Look - even if Taylor's intention is to characterize TTPD as more "tortured" and "angry", the main thread of the album is "I was ghosted by my decade-long situationship with a controversial indie boy and my fucking stupid fans wrote a 'Speak Up Now' open letter prompting me to drop him" anger, which is adequately expressed in the lyrics and performances. The extent of Taylor's "female rage" on TTPD is on tracks such as "Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?", which contends with relentless media scrutiny; "But Daddy I Love Him", where Swift firmly states she'll date whoever she likes no matter how "Sarahs and Hannahs" may react; and "The Albatross", a track mythologizing her reputation and the consequences of dating her. Of course, these coincide with deep psychological wounds that formed during Swift's early years in the media, and so, from her feminist perspective, these subjects tackle the misogyny and double standards that she faced.
Yet Taylor Swift still has no grounds to be claiming that TTPD best exemplifies female rage and therefore she, in the context of this album, is female rage incarnate. As the daughter of a stock broker and mutual fund marketing executive, Taylor was born into wealth and allowed privileges like trips and subsequent relocation to Nashville all so that she might get a record deal. Her father even invested at least $120,000 into the then-fledgling label, Big Machine Records, which ensured Taylor's place with Borchetta after leaving her dead-end development deal with Sony. The fact that her parents were able to buy her a fucking brand new guitar for Christmas and pay for music lessons says so much about the financial security and safety of her childhood.
Money is privilege and protection, and despite Swift's experiences with misogyny and loser boyfriends, she does not know what female rage is.
Her rage is derived from her frustrations with her obsessive fans pulling the moral superiority card on Taylor in response to her rebound with Matty Healy. That's literally it. She's just pissed that the monster she created is no longer obediant, it's become a feral, sovereign entity that depletes the world of its natural resources and thinks it is more intelligent than it actually is because it's mommy has started to talk to it with big words. Apparently, 'illicit', 'elegy', 'nonchalant', and 'precocious' are considerably big words for the oafish monster, and I find it strange that this level of literacy is present in a group of fans that allegedly have GPAs of 3.5 or higher, but I digress.
Taylor Swift has never been one paycheck away from destitution. Taylor Swift has never experienced racial discrimination. She may have instances of gender discrimination, but she possesses the ideal white, blonde American beauty standard and therefore reaps the benefits of being a conventionally attractive woman. Taylor Swift has sufficient social capital. Taylor Swift is a billionaire woman prolonging her victimhood though she, as a woman, has mostly had control over her image and music (unlike her contemporaries). Taylor Swift is NOT entitled to be championed for her "female rage", nor should she be. Taylor Swift has never even been the struggling artist, for fuck's sake. I don't give a fuck if she's trying to fill the empty lunch tables of her past. Taylor Swift purporting herself, her unpolished album, and her lukewarm feminism as a musical bleeding with female rage is asinine.

Sigh Try and Come For My Job, Poors

Out there in the world right now is a 23-year-old woman, a recent college grad, who works as a barista. She has to wake up and get ready to go into a minimum wage job because she cannot get a job in her field. She doesn't have healthcare benefits or sick time, so she has to go into work no matter how she's feeling. All day long she is berated by vicious customers and creepy men, and, exhausted from being on her feet, she knows she has to go home to her shitty roommate that never does the dishes and her roommate's shitty dog. To comfort herself, she considers getting a treat, but thinks against it when she remembers that matcha lattes cost $15 and they taste like milky dirt. She knows that she needs to buy groceries this week, and so the woman resolves to go home, but notices that her gas tank is low. She goes to put gas in the car, but the pump stops at $27.86 because that's all that she has in her checking account. The woman, bereft and reeling, sinks into the driver's seat. "Well," she thinks, her head in her hands, "at least I don't have Taylor Swift's job. I just couldn't imagine."
Fame is somewhat of a choice. If at any moment Taylor feels that she is misunderstood, misconstrued, or overwhelmed by public opinion, she can LEAVE the public eye - Lord knows she has the retirement fund and residuals to do so. In "I Can Do It With a Broken Heart", the TTPD song about meeting the demands of your career-zenith mega-tour while in the relationship trenches, Taylor ends the song by rambling,

"You know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart...you know you're good...and I'm good, cause I'm miserable, and no one even knows!...try and come for my job."

Yeah, obviously we wouldn't know, you recently passed the billionaire threshold and are the most famous and in-demand performer in the world right now. Taylor Swift makes an estimated $10 to $13 million dollars A NIGHT on the Eras Tour. Furthermore, the Eras Tour movie grossed $261.6 million globally, (which, as the producer, Taylor takes home 57% of the ticket sales) not counting the streaming revenue from Amazon Prime Video and the estimated $75 million deal that Disney paid to have it on Disney+. We're not even considering the income from cheap plastic popcorn buckets and drink cups plastered with colored squares in her Era-specific likeness.
It's funny. Taylor Swift often said that being famous wasn't hard, that she "isn't complaining". I'm sure it is difficult to always have to present in a good mood, else you'll end up misrepresented in the media, and I'm sure it's invasive to virtually have no privacy or semblance of anonymity. Still, Taylor Swift shows up each night of tour and performs. For a majority of her career, she has penned her sad songs while on the road. Most of "Red", her breakup album, was written in the thick of the Speak Now World tour. Now, some Swifties say they almost "feel bad" for attending the Eras Tour with Swift's revelations in this song, that they have had a 'dimmed experience' upon hearing Taylor's misery whilst performing. Despite the fact that Taylor said that "this was the happiest she's ever been" at Gilette Stadium in May, the lyrics "boohoo, woe is me, smile for the cameras and make the fans happy!!!" are jarring for Eras attendees.
While Taylor Swift was making double-digit millions a night in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil and feeling miserable, Ana Clara Benevides Machado passed away due to heat exposure. The concert promoters, Time For Fun, are now the subject of a criminal investigation due to their lack of adequate hydration and safety. Taylor Swift cancelled the Sunday show that was to follow and offered VIP tent tickets to Benevides Marchado's family, which was a kind gesture, but perhaps incongruous to the incident of which they were offered as consolation. Everyone grieves differently, of course, but I'm not sure attending the very show at the very same venue that my daughter or sister passed away in two days prior, where the singer CONTINUED the show despite her death, would be healthy for closure.
There was no female rage at the show as Swift never saw Benevides Machado pass out. There was no female rage towards the disregard for fans as humans while Swift elected to proceed with her Brazil tour dates despite the country being in historic heatwaves (at risk of overheatting herself). If Taylor Swift was so shaken by touring with a broken heart or a fan's passing, she wouldn't have added an additional North American leg of Eras just two months after the Matty breakup. She's brokenhearted but willing to mend the cracks with your money and move onward with her worldwide female rage induced pillaging.
No matter what happens, even if you die at a Taylor Swift concert, Taylor collects a big fat check and flies away. She doesn't know you as anything other than a conversion rate or earning potential despite what her nearly 20-year long parasocial relationship with fans might otherwise indicate. She knows that, while some Swifties are without disposable income, they feel obligated to spend on a "48 Hours Only!" exclusive vinyl variant instead of necessities because they are so entrenched in Taylor Swift's intoxicating celebrity, they'll prioritize materialistic fandom before their needs. This is good enough for her because this means she can expand her real estate portfolio and finance her cat's lavish lifestyles. They're worth an estimated $100 million dollars. Her three cats could pool their net worth and solve world hunger.
While you and I might be denied bereavement leave and barely surviving the current political and economic climate, Taylor Swift has to, instead of gets to, perform for stadiums at full attendance for three nights in a row across the globe. You and I might be replaced by AI at our longtime jobs, but Taylor Swift is threatened with losing more and more money each time you listen to a "Stolen Version" of her songs. If we don't buy every variant of all of her albums, then who is going to pay for the fucking cats?
It is tone deaf to spend as she spends and lives as she lives in this economy, but this is her reality. She was able to donate $100,000 to all of her tour truck drivers, and that's wonderful, but it leads me to wonder about the ethos of the 2020s where one woman can hoard such life-changing amounts of money. Remember in 2014 when she gave a fan $90 ($120 in today's money) to get Chipotle because she had no fucking clue how much it cost? This is a 34-year-old woman who is increasingly out of touch with the reality for working class people and women in general. Normal everyday adults must wake up and go to their thankless jobs, and yet Taylor Swift, despite all her riches, incessantly references the lows of her life and career as a public figure and entertainer to farm sympathy and drive sales. And still, the corporate women have latched onto "I cry a lot, but I am so productive! It's an art!" as their cubicle battle cry.
Do you think that, from up in her private jet, Taylor Swift gazes at the world through her poetic, tortured eyes, and thinks, "All the little people, in their cars, walking, going about their lives...all those girls that don't support girls...do they know that I've made an album about female rage?"

Conclusion/TLDR

Thank you for reading. I would love to hear your critical insights towards this entire ordeal: TTPD, the trademark, the implications of it all.
TLDR: Taylor Swift is a bad feminist and is delusional to think that the TTPD eras set exemplifies female rage at women's injustice.

These are guides who are very new to Montessori, so I’m looking for perspective from seasoned guides.
The lead guides have been trained through CGMS, and just finished this past September 2023, so they are very new to this. They had both been in public schools for 5+ years prior to Montessori. They have two assistants, both are new this year, neither of them are trained in Montessori. They’re mainly there for crowd control.
It’s a classroom of 32 kids, and a few of the children are special needs. One is specifically disruptive to the classroom everyday. Their classroom is always loud, and the guides are often stressed. One of the assistants has even left multiple times throughout the year due to panic attacks because of the chaos.
They conferenced with us in November and said that she is progressing, but slowly because she prefers to observe rather than pull her own works. They were adamant that this was age appropriate behavior, but that they would like to see her working more. We discussed it with her, and she did start working a little more and mastering more things.
Shortly after the November meeting, I asked one of the guides if they ever redirect the kids to the works they’re supposed to do instead of letting them wander, and she said they don’t, because they want them to make their own decision.
Last week the conference took me a bit by surprise when they opened it by asking if we would be open to gifting her another year in PK4 instead of moving her on to Kindergarten.
According to them, this is mainly based on her prefering to follow friends around during the work cycle, and observe instead of pulling out her own works. They said the behavior is more aligned with a PK3.
If it helps any, my child started their class as PK3. She is a young 4, as her birthday is at the end of August.

Namaskar.
This post is a reply to the post by u/Effective-Neat-7251. I agree pal, there's a lot of disinformation on the net so just chill and let me clarify your doubts and concerns.
The Reply:
This is one of those dumb posts on Nepal which makes me realise again and again the fact why ground knowledge is so fkin important. No offence to you OP, you are not alone and this post isn't the last of it's kind.

Nepal rushes headfirst into this whole democracy gig without really thinking it through. They slap together a constitution like it's some kind of last-minute homework assignment and expect everything to magically fall into place. Well, surprise, surprise, it doesn't work like that! You can't just declare yourself a democratic republic and expect everything to be sunshine and rainbows.

It was a long, brutal civil war spanning two decades of fighting, which only ended after the abdication of King Gyanendra who was crowned as King of Nepal after the very unfortunate incident of the "Royal Massacre", in which most members of the Nepali Royal family were murdered, including the former King Dipendra and the newly crowned Birendra. To this day, leaders of the Nepali Congress and maoist are seen as the ones who plotted the massacre.
The decision of turning into a republic was not of the people, it was infact forced upon the people.

And then there's the whole identity crisis. Nepal can't seem to make up its mind whether it wants to be secular or Hindu. It's like watching a kid trying to choose between two flavors of ice cream and ending up with a melted mess. Make up your mind already! And don't even get me started on the monarchy nonsense. Yeah, let's bring back the kings and queens because that worked out so well in the past, right?

I'm going to say this very clearly. Nepal is a Hindu country through and through. You can watch documentaries about the Nepali civil war, you'll find that so called Maoists prayed to Shiva and local Gods before going to battles.
Heck, the leader of Maoists, the so called the "leader of the revolution" and the current PM of Nepal is a Brahmin and goes to Temple in full Bhagwadhari saffron clothes and posts pictures of himself celebrating dashain (Durga Puja) with red Tilak on his forehead.
These are your so called communists.

But wait, it gets even better. China swoops in like some smooth-talking charmer, waving around its Belt and Road Initiative like it's the answer to all of Nepal's problems. And Nepal? Well, they're eating it up like candy on Halloween. Meanwhile, India's standing on the sidelines, twiddling its thumbs and watching its neighbor slip further and further away.

The important Araniko Highway was built by China, several bridges are built by Japan and Korea, the current ring road is being built by Chinese money, trains have returned to Nepal through India. Fk it there are even brigdes in Nepal to this day which were made through Soviet help.
Nepalis don't give a damn where the money is coming from. As long it's being put to good use and for the betterment of it's citizens, I don't think anyone should be bothered.
I don't even get the idea of why Indians fear Chinese presence is Nepal, which is but a grain of sand compared to Indian presence. We have pegged currency with India, an open border which allows for easy travel, billions of dollars of grants are given to Nepal every year by India, India is also Nepal's biggest trading partner.
Fk it we also have yearly military exercises and not to mention the people, culture, history and religion. WTF does China has over such things? Absolutely nothing. It's ridiculously hilarious to hear such things time and time again.

And speaking of India, what's deal? We are playing it cool like we are too good to get involved in Nepal's mess. Newsflash, We can't just sit back and watch while our neighbour gets cozy with the competition.

Trust me brother, and the people and governments of both countries, if there ever were to be a war between China and India, the most probable outcome is either Nepal remains neutral or joins India. It is more likely of Bhutan and Bangladesh to betray India than Nepal.
All in all, Indians need to chill and stop irritating the only other Hindu country in the world and also it's only real "Friend" in the world.
Again, not an ally of interest or of mutual benefit, but a real friend.
Btw the currency thing is only a move by dumb politicians, currency notes for Nepal in fact gets printed in India, not in Nepal, so you all can see how that goes.
Anyways, have a nice day/night!

I might sound a bit confused, but I saw this movie one night and the ONLY thing I remember is this scene (because it was the only thing I saw, my brother was watching it and he also doesn't remember the name of the movie, but he remembers watching it). I'll start describing the scene:
A boy is about to commit suicide, but he sees a girl in white clothes (I don't remember if she was blonde for sure, but something tells me she was) through the window. So he starts observing her, but then he slips and falls off the chair he was on, accidentally starting to hang himself.
However, he manages to lift the chair again, so he stands on it and removes the rope from his neck.
He goes to meet this girl (probably in the garden of his house) and they spend some time together. If it was the end of the movie, I don't know.
I watched the movie in 2012, the image quality seemed like something from the 2000s. The Country, I'm not sure.
If anyone can help me, I would be very grateful.

I'm aware of the miscommunications and shenanigans you're experiencing on here while trying to keep up with me. Yes, I see that you're putting out your own feelers hoping to make a connection with me. Yes, I'm aware of how often you encounter my imposter instead of me.
No, I'm not doing anything about it. I've been uncommunicative for days on here but have noticed you repeatedly attempt to carry on public conversations with strangers' you pretend are me. You are fully aware of who actually is me on here. I am right here.
You're aware of how to get ahold of me outside of this place. You should also be fully aware of what kind of person I am to discern my style of writing and character versus a total stranger just trying to be disrespectful and inflammatory. I don't make demands on reddit. I don't ask to meet or try to fight anyone's ex for their approval. I don't bash women. I am self-contained and social when I choose to be.
You're also fully able to utilize dms and communicate with me through this profile directly to clear up any imposter profile problems. You're able to ask me things privately using any of the external links I've added to my handle. The avenues to reach me are all open to you. But instead, you choose to put on a song and dance, parasocially talking 'at' me in the community and allowing implications to tie us together. If you want to actually communicate with ME privately, I'm here. If you're only looking to link your handle with mine or feed some antiquated drama machine at my expense, look elsewhere.
I will block any vague letter-reply responses to this as it directly violates what I'm insisting you use: direct communication. If you feel comfortable enough to attack me based on what strangers' write, you're comfortable enough to talk to me directly. So now because of your past misdeeds, I will insist on direct communication so you can't hide behind strangers' and ambiguity. I am right here. What do you have to say?
You either want to talk to me and are upset because you think you are but are being messed with, or you're trying to use me to publicly punch down on someone.
Since I'm not here to feed your exhibitionism and I didn't sign up to be someone's bitch, you're going to have to put in the work. If you absolutely need to talk to me in front a community of others but can't muster up a single word in private, you'll be laughed out of my spaces like the joke you insist on being.
Ps. I threw the pocket watch in the trash.

Hello, thank you for any guidance, I’ll try to make this short.
I’m 28M, single I live in the US, I make $130k before taxes.
Per month- Rent: $2750 Utilities: $200 Insurance: all covered by work, they pay 100% of premium and the whole deductible for med/dental/vision/pet. They also pay for my cellphone bill. Entertainment: $2000 - consists of groceries ($700), attending weddings ($500), hanging with friends ($300), skiing ($120), WiFi bill ($70/month) and miscellaneous items like a coffee or a book, clothes (~$200)
Rent is high, but nothing I can do about it as it seems. I live in a HCOL area and am required to be on site at least a few times a week. My rent is actually cheap comparatively and I could easily be paying an extra $500 a month.
Not willing to get rid of skiing for mental health reasons.
I need WiFi.
I suspect after these weddings, entertainment expense should fall to around $1500/month. And I’m going to make a conscious effort to not buy clothes and coffee outside.
I cook all my meals, I don’t ever eat out unless socially. Groceries are just expensive.
I don’t have any debt or any subscriptions (ie. Netflix) what so ever.
No car.
—————————————
Despite all this I’m still finding it difficult to save 15% of my salary ($1300+ per month). I can only manage 8% currently.
My company provides 3% safe harbor contribution with no match into a vanguard 401k, I have about $12k+ sitting in a 2065 target date retirement fund.
I then contribute 5% each paycheck to a Roth IRA primarily in three funds, VOO, MGK and VUG, my thought process is that my 401k is pretty conservative so given my age and lack of dependents, I could be more aggressive within my IRA. Do people think this correct, or should I just focus on a fund that covers the stock market, a fund that covers an international market and t bonds?
I have $5k in crypto
I also have 3000 units in a private company that just IPOd for $10 a share, I just exercised these units and have to wait 6 months to sell.
Parents have some retirement account for me they’ve been contributing to since my birth and are still contributing too. I’m not sure how much is In there and they won’t tell me. I just now that I have to file my taxes with their lawyer every year and this guy does some magic which also includes deducting rent and something with this hidden retirement account. I think they want me to not get lazy. Since I don’t know anything about it, I don’t want to rely on it in calculating what I should save.
I also don’t pay my utilities on time, usually I’m given 4 months of no fee/no interest/no credit report for not paying a bill on an open account before a shut off notice is served. Every month, I dump the utility bill amount into an index fund and withdraw only the day before a scheduled shut off. Again, there aren’t any late fees or interest charges or credit reporting for my utilities on open accounts.
Don’t own any property, besides fractional real estate holdings through a fund. And I don’t see my self being able to afford a house in this current market for some time(This is really bugging me)
I try to pay for as many things as possible pre-tax (support animal needs, medical care, dental, vacation etc.)
I have friends my age that all have houses and making at least $300k. I feel woefully behind and wondering if I’m on track to have a decent retirement given my the current information. Should I make it a priority to try and allocate 15%? Is my Roth IRA investing too aggressive?

I remember the date & time the scariest night of my life happened to me: it was between the hours of 9 and 10 at night on Thursday, July 09, 2020, so this was during the COVID-19 pandemic. This happened in Pittsburgh. At around 09:00 PM, I started doing my laundry starting with the washing machine, which takes around 20 - 30 minutes to wash clothing. With that amount of time to spend, I decided to go outside for a walk around my neighborhood for a nightly breeze while listening to music (listening to “Same Old Story” by From Ashes To New on repeat) on my iPhone ear-buds.
Just to clarify, I was feeling very down because of how the world just stopped due to the pandemic, with everything closed, a protest that turned into a riot downtown that I was trapped in, and a scandal that transpired at a university I attended, but these are tales for another time. I just couldn’t see my friends and girls I had crushes and I was even going out to clubs in Pittsburgh’s nightlife especially South Side, so I was having difficulty adjusting to a worldwide event trying to cope as well as having patience. Being such an upbeat person with a great attitude in spite of overthinking (like believing the coronavirus spread in Wuhan, China would make it around the world to become a pandemic THEN it does) this put major emotional distress on me.
I was on my way back to the house around 15 minutes before 10, when I was walking through a small highway and no lampposts, so it was creepy going through a dark highway with nothing but trees on both sides and hearing the sounds of crickets chirping.
With about a half of a mile to go, I was on the right side of the road when a white car coming the opposite way slows down, then the driver’s window lowers then a man yells at me to drop my wallet. I was surprised by why he demanded me to, but then as I stepped closer to the man’s car, I could see he was holding & pointing something towards me in his hand: a hand-held firearm. What makes this scarier is I didn’t have my wallet with me. When I found out exactly what was going on, I sprinted away back to the house, scared in the back of my mind he was going to shoot at me or take a sharp U-turn to chase me. I was wearing a white sleeveless shirt, long jeans and waterproof boots, but I ran without tripping. When I was sprinting I also looked back every few seconds hoping I wouldn’t see the same white car, but I didn’t. I made it back to the house, sweating and reflecting on what had just happened to me for the first time, being someone who was never in a situation like that before. The only one else at the house was one of my second cousins, who was in a gaming room playing video-games unaware of my night walk; the others, my mother & my cousin (my second cousin’s mother) were out of town that night.
Never in my life would I ever think I would be a victim of attempted robbery. I wish I got the model of the car, the name of the brand, and, most importantly, the license plate, to report him, but I was too scared to know about that in my fight or flight response.
I should have still called the police to report this, but being I was young & feeling down around this time & had never made a police report, I didn’t. I know, very selfish of me. To this day, I wish I had just dialed 911 for this, but having an overprotective mother who was out of time that night with my cousin and my cousin’s son was the only one else with me at the house not knowing I went outside for a walk while he was playing video-games, I just couldn’t bring myself to confess this. They still don’t know about except a few select friends of mine I called to talk about it with.
I know this was a stupid thing I did, but my mind was not well in tact with my adjustment to the Covid-19 pandemic; I needed a moment to clear my mind at the moment even at night.
However, this has taught me a lesson and this should teach you all who have never been in a situation, to never go out at night in the dark, unless you’re going somewhere but do it safely, with someone you trust, or if you’re looking for time to kill during an indoor chore that takes waiting, do something that doesn’t involve going outside. Either way, pandemic or no pandemic, be aware of what happens in situations like this and be safe, and learn from this if you do go out at night, never go alone. However, I wonder what would’ve happened if I didn’t figure out what was going on longer, or if I told him I didn’t have my wallet. I believe that if I didn’t know what was going on any longer, chances are I wouldn’t be here.

Dear SiMadam Maple Hams,
A lot of these claims are not the fault of the Naval Experience Program (herein referred to as the NEP).
The NEP has no control over the activities of PAT platoon units. If these units do not place their Sailors into their next courses - then they are failing their own sailors.
I know a lot of actual sailors who have been wasting away on pat platoon waiting for their initial trade course to start.
This has been normal since time immemorial. It was bad during COVID because measures were in place and courses were outright cancelled, but prior to that - most trades were running 1-2 courses per year. Now some trades are running 3 courses a year.
I would also like to point out that NEP candidates cannot compete with any sailors waiting for their trades course because NEP candidates first have to actually sign a contract after picking a trade. Once they pick a trade, they will have to wait with the rest of these Sailors in PAT platoons.
Now I’m seeing 1 year contract NEPs, with no trade and no requirement to extend, getting NETP before actual sailors.
Also not the NEP's fault. Any unit can nominate a Sailor for NETP. You can email the NFS(A/P) NETP Booking Cell and the people there are very nice and helpful and will happily load Sailors. All you need to do is ask for the course list, pick a course date, fill in the form with the Sailor's name, rank, and service number - and boom. That Sailor is loaded.
Between May 16 and October 01 of this year, there are a total 8 NETP Courses scheduled and are capable of handling maybe 20-25 Sailors.
And the sad fact is... They have had to beg units for people to enroll - otherwise they would have to cancel the course... I know for a fact they had to cancel two courses this year already, so if you personally know any units that have Sailors that need NETP, then please give them a call!
They’re doing dive courses, I even heard of some attending clearance diver selection (might be a rumour), before actual sailors who have been requesting it for years.
For the third time, this is also not the NEP program's fault, nor is it outside their control.
FDU(A/P) publishes a list of scheduled courses every year. Rescue Swimmer, Port Inspection Diver, Supervisor Courses, Ship's Team Diver, Clearance Diver - you name it.
A person interested in this course must first submit a memo through their chain of command, Dive Officer, and complete a checklist with their unit's Health Services to pass Dental and Part 1 and 2 medicals (actual requirements vary depending on the course).
This process can last weeks to several months - and that depends on how much support a Sailor gets from their CoC and Health Services unit.
Now again, like the NETP situation if units do not support their Sailor's applications, then that Sailor goes no where. The NEP is not actively nudging these Sailors off courses.
If anything, the NEP is actually making some of these courses possible because FDU(A/P) is not getting enough people who are properly processed with completed checklist to actually show up ready for the courses!
So far this year 1 course almost got cancelled - but because the NEP was able to provide bodies, they were able to run the course!
As I write this, a course in June is also currently in jeopardy of being cancelled due to not having enough enrollees.
The NEP is actually at the back of thr priority list. First are ships, then individual applicants, and lastly somewhere are the NEP.
So no, the NEP is not stealing spots off Sailors who have been waiting years for their dive course.... The NEP is doing everything right within their power to make sure their candidates have gone through official channels to get their applications and checklists completed, and by doing so, providing enough bodies for FDU to actually run courses.
And yes - one NEP candidate from the East Coast and one from the West Coast have completed Clearance Diver training.
One did not get selected however, but that is the Clearance Diver unit's perogative. (Its called Selection after all).
But can you really fault these two NEP candidates for passing a physically and mentally demanding course...?
The programme is a complete ruse designed to make these people have a fun year that they can brag about to their friends and hopefully they’ll sign a real contract.
Not gonna lie, that is the intention.
We want sailors. We NEED sailors.
If it gets them through the door of recruiting, and if they sign a new contract to continue being in the Navy - then by all metrics the program is working.
And so far, I have seen only 1 person out of 75 that has voluntarily released in the 1 year this program has run.
Morale in the fleet is getting beat down lower everyday and watching these people come in and take your spot on the course or sail you’ve been dying to get isn’t doing any favours.
If the argument is that *"NEP candidates are having fun, but people in the fleet aren't" *then something else is wrong in the fleet, and the NEP is not the cause of that - with the reasons I have listed above.
Each and every unit, ship, and organization within the CAF and the fleet are near seperate entities - each with their own challenges.
Saying that the NEP is making life worse for these units has no basis in reality. The NEP is not all knowing, nor does it have the power to make random people's lives miserable.
It's like saying HMCS Montreal is having fun sailing, while HMCS Frdericton and HMCS Chalottetown are sad because their ships are broken. It doesn't make sense.
It doesn’t even make any sense for the navy to be spending the money on these people getting courses they don’t need.
First off, the way the military does things is we are given a budget at the start of the fiscal year.
This budget is identified and allocated way in advance of an intented purpose.
For example, the CAF is given a budget. This budget divided between the Army, Navy, and Air Force. This is further divided into other units within these branches.
The Navy and the CAF has identified the need to create a program to encourage civilians to join the Navy, and retain them after their initial contract. The Government has approved this program and allocated a portion of this years' budget to fund this program.
This program, the NEP, is doing its best with the money allocated to them to ensure that the sailors under their care are taken care of and given enough positive experience so that they hopefully willingly sign another contract, so that our Navy has enough Sailors in the future to sail our ships and complete our missions.
If we don't move heaven and earth to get these Sailors now - then even people who have joined the Navy normally like you and me will be unable to sail in the future because ships are just severely undermanned.
Also I would like to share a personal anecdote...
My RQS3 course had 12 people. Of those 12, after four years 6 had left the forces due to one reason or another.
In my trade, you can apply for a Specialist skill within a Specialist trade.
The Navy will train you and fly you to whatever ship to complete your course. Basically whatever is needed to ensure you pass that course.
All you have to do is study hard.
I have seen people who pass this course - and then end up not sailing and then they lose their qualification.
This, after the Navy spent so much resources, money, and man hours into getting these Sailors qualified, but then they just up and decide this isn't for them.
The argument of "why are these NEP candidates getting this and that when they leave anyway?" is severely misguided when you and I both know there are already people in the Navy who throw away opportunity to the winds...
So hopefully dear SiMa'am Maple Hams, please reconsider your opinion on the program.
In short, the NEP is not stealing resources from othe units.
The NEP is operating within the resources and mandate given to them - and in some cases, actually directly or indirectly contributing to the success of other units in the Navy by providing an investment of manpower that we badly need.
If we were like other NATO countries, then I would argue that this program is unnecessary if we consider the option of outright mandatory military service and conscription.
But we are not like those other countries, and we do not have the option of conscription...
So we have this program instead.
For your consideration, SiMa'am.
PS, I would personally like to extend my thanks to the crews and personnel of the following units for supporting the NEP program:
HMCS St. John's (they have been our most supportive unit).
HMCS Ville de Quebec (thank you for taking time off your busy schedule for allowing job shadowing for the NEP candidates).
HMCS Chalottetown (thank you for taking care of our candidates during your deployment. we know the sea state between Iceland and Halifax was bad, but that didnt let your crew from throwing the NEP candidates to the side).
HMCS Harry Dewolf (your willingless to employ NEP candidates allowed them to become familiar with the platform, and sets the candidates up for success)
NFS(A) Scheduling and Booking Cells (you have always accomodated our requests and has never let us down when we needed help)
Tribute Tower Galley (thank you for employing our candidates and for providing them with delicious food - some of our candidates have never eaten this well in their life)
Juno Tower Accomodations and Booking Cell (you are the first people we contact to get our NEP candidates set up after CFLRS, and without your help we wouldn't even be able to do anything)
CFB Halifax Dockyard Gym and CFB Shearwater Gym (thank you for accomodating our fitness related requests, including letting us borrow the gym so our candidates can see what it is like to swim for their life before they apply for courses)
FDU Atlantic and Pacific (we apologize if we had sent people who were not physically able to complete the courses you offer - to be fair, they are really hard, but we are working on making the quality of people we offer to send better. Hopefully we can continue sending candidates to fill in courses so they do not get cancelled).
Clothing Stores (thank you for setting up our candidates with their kit!)
Base Logistics, Maritime Operations Group, Fleet Padre's office, Fleet Master Sailor and Junior's Mess, FMF Cape Scott, Halifax MFRC, SISIP, PCC(A/P), Health Services Stadacona, TEME, CFLRS, Recruiting, Public Affairs, MARLANT/MARPAC, and the various units all over - for reasons too many to list, we thank you for supporting the program in all the unique ways you do.
Despite what some may say about the Naval Experience Program - all of you have given the program all the support the program could ask for and more.
If you all didn't care, then we wouldn't be here.
Disclaimer: These are my own opinions and does not reflect the official position of the NEP, the Navy, the CAF, or the Government of Canada.

Hello 3% men. I came across CCW in 2018 after a 3 year relationship ended and read the book religiously during that period. 2 years later I met a truly beautiful woman who seemingly became my dream woman. Yet we both made some mistakes during our first 2 years that now makes any sense of peace/stability together tenuous at best. She may also have BPD/CPTSD, which I only really learned more about in the last 12-18 months.
Over the 4 years we were together there's been tons of drama, self-harm and even one trip to the ER. I am ashamed to say a lot of these episodes have been her reaction to things I've done to trigger her sense of abandonment. While I recognize it's not entirely my responsibility to regulate someone else's emotions or actions, the guilt in the wake of these incidents is quite overwhelming. Only in the last few months did I recognize my presence in her life is a trigger for these behaviors.
The first time I saw her self-harm for instance was after my ex called me 6 months in and I lied about her getting in touch (Corey says don't disclose things of this nature so I didn't think much of it). Later when she saw my phone, I confessed I did this to avoid an uncomfortable conversation and not because I wanted to do anything nefarious (this ex lives in another country) but she would not accept my excuse. The guilt from this mistake in particular still haunts me as until this point everything had been going super smooth/textbook. I also didn't have the strength at the time to cut this relationship off when I saw what I recognized was toxic behavior - probably reflective of my own childhood wounding.
After lots of ups and downs, she broke up with me in September 2023. We got back together in February for a month this year after I broke no contact and she invited me out for a drink. In March we ended things again cause the cycle of idealization-devaluation was getting too much for me. In April I reached out again and asked to see her; we met up and all the feelings are still very much there but so is the pattern of idealization/devaluation; good days followed by devaluing days. Only now am I recognizing this to be a classic BPD/CPTSD cycle and she seems more receptive to the idea of needing help/therapy.
Last week she invited me to hang out and we had a wonderful day (lots of making out, some clothes came off, "I love you's" but no hooking up). Afterwards she told me she wants to feel stable and doesn't want to date or see me. I told her I would respect her wishes but then she messaged me two days ago and I offered to see each other on Thursday.
After all the ups and downs I do feel very much I am in the grips of a trauma bond. But I also feel like our connection is very real and genuine. At the same time I know someone who loves me would never try to deliberately hurt me yet when she's in the devaluation stage, she has no empathy and says brutally cutting things, which I effectively have to deflect til the episode passes.
Is it even possible to salvage this sort of thing? Give the space, let her work on herself and I on myself? I know that's what I should do but my attachment to this woman is unlike anything I've ever experienced. Tips from men who have been through something similar?

A few months ago I got one of those dog nanny cams from a friend whos dog died and decided to use it to see what my dog gets up to when I go to work. The answer is, nothing. Whenever I check on him he’s laying down in his bed and just lays there all day. He gets up to sip water here and there but thats it. I set out all of his toys and give him a kong with frozen peanut butter before I leave for work but after he gets through the kong he literally lays in bed for the 6-8 hours Im at work and doesnt do anything.
It is good he’s not destructive and being well behaved but I dont think this is normal. He doesnt even do things Id expect him to like go into the closet and sniff my clothes. He doesnt even try getting in my bed even though he’s allowed to. When I talk to him through the doggy cam he looks up and starts barking which disturbs the neighbors so I cant do that anymore. When I come home he is happy and acts normal, takes an interest in his toys but when he’s home alone he just lays down all day. What can I do?

This all happened last summer shortly after my paternal grandmother died, and I’ve just managed to get everything in order for the judgement of internet strangers. I did my best to provide context were I could.
TL;DR: We found out we have a half sister after our grandmother died and after we were done dealing with a variety of family issues. The Half-sister contacted us against the wishes of our dad and late grandmother. Due to a variety of reasons, we made the family decision to have nothing to do with her.
So for context:
My dad emigrated from Mexico to California with his family to look for work. He and my mom were childhood sweethearts but they were not together when he left Mexico for California. This is confirmed by my parents and my uncles.
While in California, my dad met this woman and they messed around a little bit. He says it wasn’t that serious of a relationship. He was young, got drunk often and she was young and pretty. I believe my dad was in his early twenties as was this girl if my math is right. This girl was also a known flirt and slept around a lot. Naturally, she gets pregnant and claims its my dad’s. He doesn’t believe her despite her insisting its his baby so he dips.
(Based on the info from my dad, and what my sister could gather, my dad was the only one with a stable job so we think she was trying to baby trap him. I’m not trying to make excuses, my dad isnt perfect but he’s honest and loves my mom).
My dad’s family, especially his sister, did NOT like this lady at all due to the aforementioned sleeping around so she helps him get to texas. My mom had just emigrated as well and my dad wanted to be with my mom. So he leaves this girl. Baby Momma threatened with child support, or that she would abort the baby if he left which pissed my dad off. When you’re mexican and catholic, threatening an abortion is a no no. So he leaves her, meets back up with my mom, married her, and I come along. We hear nothing of them for a while and its not like the lady couldnt track him down.
Flashforward to a few years. My mom gets a call from BM’s brother where he yells at her and my dad calling him a piece of shit for leaving BM and the baby. My dad ended up taking the phone and said again, the baby isnt his, and that he wants nothing to do with them and to never contact his family again. My mom was then aware of the other girl and she was mad, but again, they weren’t together and my dad was young drunk and stupid. So they push it down, ignore it, move on and forget.
Then my grandmother died. She knew about the other girl and she believes that it is my dad’s. My grandma would travel between our house and my uncles in california where she would meet with the other girl. Everyone on my dad’s side does think she’s his daughter.
Added context that is important.
For my mom, and only my mom, my dad stopped drinking and was sober for almost 23 years. However, in 2020, being surrounded by other alcoholics and being away for days for a job, he started drinking again. My dad helps build houses and would sometimes go all the way to oklahoma Or lousiana for a job. No he didn’t cheat. His coworkers actually teased him because he called my mom so often just to talk to her. I need y’all to understand that my dad loves my mom. He would move mountains for her. He’s not a perfect person, but he was a good dad and husband. Never hit us. Never raised his voice. We destroyed his model car collection that included some expensive pieces as kids. He didn’t ell he saw we were happy and tried to hide the survivors better. He gave my mom everything.
When she found out, they fought so badly it tore them apart. My dad is also stubborn to a fault and believed he could manage it. In the end, it got bad wnough my mom let me. Have a go at him because he was not listening or doing anything. He was also stressed as my sister was in bootcamp and I was getting married. So i think drinking was just easier for him.
I tore into him that day. I cornered him and confronted him for refusing help even though we offered. I told him how much it was hurting mom and when he refused to listen, I threatened to kick him out of my wedding if he didn’t do something about his drinking. He finally did especially after we think all their bad energy attracted an evil entity. I can elaborate if asked but its not relevant. Quit cold turkey again and he and my mom talked about how they would move forward. They began going to church a lot more often, all is good. My dad is doing better emotionally and is trying to make up with my mom. We have a conversation with my mom about being more patien and communicating more.
In all of this, my mom was dealing with liver issues and the stress of all of this was not helping.
Back to the story.
My grandmother died in march of 2023. I meet my cousins through video chat bc they were in Mexico. They video the service and funeral most of which we paid for. My dad bought a beautiful coffin for her, paid for roses and the gravestone. We paid for mariachi because my grandma always wanted mariachi for her funeral. We mourn, we move on.
My halfsister contacts my dad first to try and talk to him. My dad tells her again to leave us be that we want nothing to do with her. My dad’s number is public because thats how he gets jobs. So thats how she contacted him.
So she contacts us.
No one told us about her. She knew about us because my grandma would tell her about us. But we didn’t know about her. Everyone left it up to my dad to lake that decision and he never did.
My sister and I are both contacted by this girl through facebook. The profile is new and I’d almost gotten scammed once so we’re suspicious. We play along, ask for ID, video, proof. Everything. She provides it all. BC we thought she was a scammer, we weren’t exactly nice. So we’re thinking there might be some truth. We call my dad, he denies it. Call my mom, he denies it. I have my sister call him for me again because she’s better about getting things out of him. I call an uncle that Half Sister says knows about her.
Finally, they tell us everything that y’all just read. My sister and I are reeling, but we don’t tell the other three siblings. My mom is upset wanting to know why this girl is bothering us and that she doesn’t want her bothering us. She and my dad fight and my sister and I head to them (we’d moved out). We talk to our siblings separately.
My sister and I decide we don’t want anything to do with her. She is a stranger to us, and our parents are in a good place right now. They deserve peace. Not to mention, she went against the wishes of our grandma and my mom was still dealing with her liver issues. They could not. Handle another big issue right now.
So we gather everyone. Tell my parents that my sister and I want to tell our siblings together as a family and make a decision as a family. We preemptively talked to our siblings and agreed we wanted nothing to do with her.
I would rather not get into too many details. My mom spiraled. We both have anxiety but only one of us (me) sought a therapist. She was convinced my dad would leave her and that we would hate her or turn against her. (She is not a narcissist. She has anxiety shes finally learning to manage it). I removed my mom and brought her outside to breathe while my sister talked with my dad. Both me and my dad struggle to voice what we want to say and so it was becoming a bad cycle with my mom not being fair to him. My sister helps my dad word what he wants to say. But my sister and I get a handle on the situation. When we planned this, we knew we wanted to make sure mom was good. Dad already made his opinion in the matter clear. We just also knew our mom.
My dad reaffirms that he loves my mom, and us and doesn’t want to leave her. He also tells us that its our decision if we want to talk to this girl. My siblings and us all agree that we don’t want anything to do with her. We spend some time talking, winding down, go to ihop and head home.
Where I feel bad for her:
She wanted to meet us and get to know us. My parents had five of us and we are all very close while she was an only child. So I understand where she's coming from and I have a lot of sympathy from her. She knew parts of our extended family and whatever my grandmother told her about us. You see videos online of adoptees or people who were seperated from their parents who want to reconnect with their families and they are hailed for it. Even a scroll through the comment section people praise them for the attempt and villify the family if they reject them. And I understand why she wants to meet us. We're her siblings, but I can't bring myself to.
My parents just got done dealing with my dad's relapse into drinking. My mom had forgiven him and were trying to move past it. My mom could not handle any more stress due to her liver (or maybe it was her kidneys. The doctors said she needed to watch out for her blood pressure). My sister and I knew that this would be an issue and we did our best to deal with it and act as family counselors. My parents aren't perfect, but they're good parents and raised us well and I know they love each other. They recently had a proper wedding ceremony after twenty six years. Our siblings and I are starting to finally give back to them (taking them out to eat, giving them nice gifts, replacing the model cars we destroyed years ago). We would do just about anything to make them happy.
In my eyes, our half sister (if she is blood related) went against my grandmother's wishes and only contacted us AFTER my grandmother had been dead for a few months. And then, after my dad told her not to bother us, she contacted my sister and I. I loved my grandmother. We were devastated when she died so right as we're starting to recover from that, we get with this and it pissed me off.
I understand she wants to get to know us, but I don't want anything to do with her and my siblings (even after talking with them) agreed. We don't know her. We are happy where we are right now and don't want anything that is going to ruin that. She is a stranger that is going to upend the peace that we finally have. And now, a year later, she is all but forgotten to us because to us, she really isn't anything. And its not like she's not doing well for herself. She's works as a nurse and is living her life.
So Reddit, am I the asshole (or are we the assholes) for wanting nothing to do with our half-sister who we never met and didn't know existed?

For many, Guerlain’s Habit Rouge represents a high watermark in perfumery. Since its original release in 1965, the composition has been beloved by gentlemen (and ladies) across the world. It is also a well known favourite of many of the most well regarded perfume historians and reviewers out there and, because of that, one could well argue that there is precious little further useful opinion that can be added to the existing cannon (and they may well be right!).
Still, Jean-Paul Guerlain’s multi-faceted composition has been no stranger to a remix over the years and, since Delphine Jelk took over from Thierry Wasser as in-house perfumer at the historic French house, she has managed to deliver a staggering three new takes on the fragrance in as many years. What better opportunity could there be, therefore, to undertake both a reappraisal of the original release and, in doing so, compare it to some of the new kids on the block? Note: I have not sampled the first of Jelk’s flankers, 2022’s Habit Rouge L'Instinct but, given the almost unanimous negativity surrounding it, it’s not high on my hit list! We’ll be looking at Rouge Prive and the Parfum today.
Habit Rouge EDT (1965)
The concept behind Habit Rouge (or ‘Red Coat’, if translated in to English from its native language) was to create a perfume that brought to mind the jackets worn by the landed gentry when they went hunting. In the UK, we’re no stranger to this nefarious practice - our own fox hunting aristocrats also wore red coats and, despite now being banned, the idea of chasing helpless creatures to their deaths is still a subject of debate in our national politics (with right wing politicians often promising to offer a ‘free vote’ to MPs on the issue to energise their base).
As an animal lover myself, this is perhaps the only element of Habit Rouge I find somewhat jarring. There is nothing within this perfume which brings to mind sport, adrenaline, blood, or violence. I find it somewhat curious, consequently, that Guerlain sought to relate it to hunting. The only thing wearers of Habit Rouge were likely to be chasing on its release were sexual partners!
That statement isn’t made wholly in jest either. Habit Rouge is a gentleman’s fragrance, but it carries within its structure not only aspects of formality and traditional masculinity, but also sensuality and sensitivity. It is, as such, a fragrance well suited to old fashioned romantics. Indeed, if it didn’t have these traits, I’d argue that it wouldn’t have survived for the almost 60 years that it has. When you think about it, it’s almost incredible that, despite how radically concepts of masculinity have changed over the years, Habit Rouge has still been a regular seller for Guerlain, with devotees now spanning across 5 generations.
Created to be the younger brother to the company’s 1925 release, Shalimar it, like its sibling, contains a citrus top note, which descends into a floral heart, before culminating in a vanillic leather and amber base. Habit Rouge is not simply a three card trick, however, and its complete run of notes can be summarised as follows (as per Basenotes):
Top Notes: bergamot, lemon, rosewood, basil, pimento
Heart Notes: sandalwood, carnation, patchouli, cedar, rose, cinnamon
Base Notes: vanilla, amber, moss, leather, benzoin, labdanum, olibanum
When it comes to the head of the perfume, the real star of the show is the bergamot, which radiates wonderfully off the skin when first sprayed. Whilst it is effervescent, though, it is also a powdery affair. In fact, it can most accurately be described as being akin to orange sherbet - fizzing whilst maintaining a chalkiness. It is warm and reassuring as opposed to enthusiastic. It also maintains a cologne like structure, however, by incorporating herbal and spicy notes through the use of basil and rosewood.
This accord is then joined to a rose and carnation-dominant middle phase, through which the powdered facets of the fragrance continue to run, and through which the fragrance begins to show its romantic side.
Finally, the dry down of the fragrance provides a semi-sweet backdrop with the vanilla taking the edge away from the traditionally masculine moss and leather accords and combining with the rest of the ingredients to produce a soft, light amber.
It is not hard to see, in this context, why Habit Rouge has continued to be successful over the years - it, essentially, captures hearts and minds because it resonates with the personality of its wearer in a way that other traditional masculine fragrances can sometimes struggle to do (as they were often, like their owners of the period, more buttoned up).
Habit Rouge - Rouge Prive (2023)
That doesn’t mean that the EdT of Habit Rouge smells like it was composed yesterday, however. It just means that it has aged like a fine wine as opposed to being the perfume equivalent of a kipper tie. In fact, if it were any item of clothing, I’d compare it to a 1960s slim lapelled suit - of its time, but still stylish today.
Still, as the years have gone by, the term ‘legibility’ has become more and more important in the perfume industry, and there now seems to be a distinct trend towards the creation of perfumes whose formulas are more streamlined than Habit Rouge. Or to put it another way, perfumers are being encouraged to reduce the number of notes in a perfume’s composition, with the aim of producing a more direct product. For lovers of vintage fragrances, legibility can be an anathema but, personally, I have no issue with the principle behind the concept. Nor it appears, does Delphine Jelk. Enter Habit Rouge Rouge Prive.
Top Notes:Bergamot, Ginger
Middle Notes: Orange Blossom, Iris
Base Notes: Leather, Patchouli, Vanilla
As can be seen from the notes list, Rouge Prive maintains the structure of Habit Rouge (bergamot, floral, vanillic leather), but switches out or culls a number of the traditional accords that were contained within the original. Gone are the cologne-esque elements. Gone too are the powdery rose and carnation. The leather, meanwhile, has been amped up and modernised - more akin to Tom Ford’s Tuscan Leather than Knize 10. Whisper it quietly, but it also seems that Jelk has snuck an oud accord in to the base too.
Given the number of changes, you could be forgiven for thinking that Rouge Prive would end up smelling completely different to the EdT, but fans of the OG need not worry - this is still unmistakably Habit Rouge. To paraphrase Persolaise (my favourite reviewer of perfumes), it’s like the whole perfume has simply been redrawn with clean bold lines. The bergamot continues to shimmer and, in spite of the florals being listed as Orange Blossom and Iris, the ultimate accord generated is still interpreted by my nose as being a rose. It is very much a rouge perfume as opposed to an orange or purple one (which is, incidentally, roughly what you get if you combine an iris hue and orange on a colour wheel…).
Where Rouge Prive differs to the EdT is in its brute strength. The leather note really does have a serious kick to it and, given that, the perfume is pulled from the bottom up, as opposed to the top diffusing off the skin to reveal the heart.
Whilst I’ve always found the EdT to perform quite well, the longevity of the Prive is genuinely outstanding, again due to the material in the base. Pleasingly though, the dry down still does maintain the powdered amber facets contained within the original. It’s a superb flanker that updates Habit Rouge without necessarily ripping up the original composition.
Habit Rouge Parfum (2024)
Not to rest on their laurels, Guerlain have now revisited Habit Rouge again in 2024, introducing a parfum version to go alongside new stablemates Vetiver Parfum and L’Homme Ideal Parfum.
I’ll say in advance that I’m a little sceptical of the allure of parfums myself, as I often find that the actual performance difference between fragrance concentrations can be completely counter-intuitive (I have EdTs that vastly out-perform EDPs and Parfums, both in terms of silage and longevity). In addition, given that Rouge Prive was already quite beastly, the necessity for a parfum to be made only a year later seems curious to me.
Parking those views for the moment though, the theme across these three new releases appears to be alcohol. In the case of Habit Rouge, the drink of choice is listed as rum, although there seems to be confusion in that regard, with Jelk being quoted in the marketing as saying:
For Habit Rouge Le Parfum, I Created a leathery vanilla liqueur with plenty of bold bourbon-inspired intensity
Perhaps Guerlain are suggesting that the perfume has been matured in bourbon casks? Hmm. In any event, the notes list for this one is as follows:
Bergamot, Vanilla, Rum, Patchouli
Well, I did say perfumers were streamlining their notes list, didn’t I!
What’s most striking to me about the Parfum is, firstly, how base heavy it is (we’re talking sub-woofer level) but, secondly, how patchouli dominant it is - there’s a definite chocolate element in that respect, but my nose also detects something slightly medicinal, smoked, and perhaps even burnt (think coffee beans). When combined with the vanilla, the result is a perfume that very much lies within the domain of the gourmand.
This is somewhat a blessing and a curse - if you’re not a particular fan of the EdT or Prive’s floral elements, you’re likely to get along a lot better with the Parfum. At the same time though, I’d argue that the floral heart of Habit Rouge is, to a large extent, key to its DNA, and vastly reducing the components that make this element ‘sing’ lead to a very different fragrance profile.
My second critique is that the perfume, generally, feels less balanced than Rouge Prive. I have no issue with the concept of a Habit Rouge that focuses on patchouli - readers of my previous pieces will know that I’m a huge fan of the note - I just wished that, on a technical level, the Parfum still maintained a decent top end. As it is, the whole thing sits very deep against the skin, with any radiance from the bergamot being buried by the heavier materials. This ultimately leads to a fragrance that, rather than being a sparkling rouge, comes across as a heavy-set chocolate and beige. Because of that, I can’t decide whether or not I’ve truly fallen for the Parfum.
That being said, you honestly couldn’t go wrong with any one of these three and I’ve no doubt they’ll appeal to different elements of the fragrance market. I look forward to Jelk’s next flanker in 2025, even if these variations are becoming a little bit akin to Marge Simpson’s Chanel jacket…!

It was one of those dreams you get in the morning between alarms.
I 'woke up' in the dream as if I was really awake in the morning. The first major event - I hear a woman's voice say something along the lines of "someone is trying to get in" with scratching outside of my bedroom window. I peak out through the blinds to investigate but don't see anyone or anything. I get a bad feeling thinking there's someone still trying to break into the apartment, so I go to the main living room/kitchen area and find everything in disarray - I had clothes strewn all over, my furniture was moved around, and the place was generally a disaster.
It was a dark and rainy morning, so colors looked desaturated apart from a very bright yellow fish balloon with a blew tail fin in the middle of the living room floor. When I picked it up, an extremely unnerving realization came over me where the intruder had already been in my house while I was sleeping and was the cause of the mess, and was simply coming back. At that moment, I heard a man at the front door with jangling keys. As soon as he started unlocking the door, I ran up and started pounding my fist against it and screaming to try and ward him off. I found a baseball bat and armed myself, but I heard him leave soon after.
This is my first time dreaming of something like this. I don't live in a place where a home invasion would be a concern, so it stands out to me. Most if my dreams are pretty mundane if I even remember them. It was incredibly vivid.
Some personal notes and details that stand out to me - maybe I can get some help figuring out what they mean?

• The woman's voice warning me
• The fish balloon
• The fact that the intruder wasn't actually breaking in, but had free access to my home by the sound of jangling keys.
• The intruder had already been inside my home while I slept.
• The fact I didn't see the intruder once during the whole dream - despite knowing it was a man. I heard heavy boots outside my door before hearing the jangling keys and the door unlocking.

I tried just googling some of the meanings, and I've found a few common themes, but they felt very broad and general. I was hoping here might be able to give better insight. Thank you!

6’5 mf from bumfuck nowhere COOKS
Kendrick>>>
Demographics

• Gender: male
• Race/Ethnicity: white
• Residence: Rural VA
• Income Bracket: upper-middle
• Type of School: public (somewhat competitive tho, usually abt 1 Ivy+ per year)
• Hooks (Recruited Athlete, URM, First-Gen, Geographic, Legacy, etc.): maybe location? Idk

Intended Major(s): Aerospace Engineering, MechE for places that didn’t have Aero
Academics

• GPA (UW/W): 4.0 UW/ 4.53W (4.44 at time of apps)
• Rank (or percentile): 4 (5 during EA)
• Honors/AP/IB/Duel Enrollment/etc.: 6 APs, 9 DEs, 11 Honors, no IB
• Senior Year Course Load: AP Gov, AP Research, AP Art History, DE Calc 1, DE Brit Lit, DE Aerospace Engineering, Honors Physics, Spanish 3

Standardized Testing
List the highest scores earned and all scores that were reported.

• SAT I: 1520 superscore (two 1510s with 760R 750M and 750R 760M on 3 attempts)
• ACT: Didn’t Take
• 4 on AP Bio and AP Seminar, 5 on AP Lang

Extracurriculars/Activities
List all extracurricular involvements, including leadership roles, time commitments, major achievements, etc.

1. Internship (12)- Research Lab at T25, Helped create STEM classroom curriculum
2. Debate (11,12)- Team Captain, Top 10 at states in first year (got 2nd place in state after apps 🫠)
3. Scholastic Bowl (9-12) - Team Captain, led team to regionals for first time in years
4. Tennis (10-12) - Team Captain, raised some money
5. Engineering Club (8-12, yeah it’s weird) - VP, member of competition teams
6. Athletic Advisory Board (11-12) - Represented on behalf of academic teams and did community service, raised some money
7. After-school STEM club/daycare? (12) - Voluntarily chaparoned kids, got offered and accepted real job
8. Powerlifting (9-12) - On varsity team in 10 and 11 before it got deleted, started training before and continued after
9. Beta Club (10-12) - Didn’t do much but that’s mostly the officers’ and sponsor’s fault
10. Mentor (11-12) - Mentored other students in magnet school program
11. additional info - Got Best Delegate at my first Model UN competition after apps as a side quest/practice for debate, mentioned on deferral and waitlist replies later

Awards/Honors
List all awards and honors submitted on your application.

1. Collegeboard Rural/Small Town National Recognition
2. AP Scholar
3. AP Capstone Diploma
4. Magnet School Diploma Seal (Regional)
5. School award for achievement in Aerospace Engineering class

Letters of Recommendation
Counselor: 7/10. New hire right before my senior year so not much rapport but spoke to her somewhat frequently
History Teacher: 9/10. Bsf. Had him for class in 9th grade and I was the only one who answered during Zoom classes, was my Scholastic Bowl and Debate coach in years following. His writing is not the best tho so not a 10/10
Engineering Teacher: 8/10. Had him for 3 years and was part of his club for all of them. Can speak to my abilities super well. He moved districts before my senior year so didn’t see him for a bit but still pretty good regardless
Professor: 9/10. Interned under him over the summer and he trusted my capabilities a lot. Wrote lots of LORs before and even asked me what I wanted in it.
Interviews

• MIT: 7/10. Virtual. Interested in my research and seemed to vibe quite well. Didn’t talk for very long tho and looking back I didn’t really make as good of an impression as I would’ve wanted or talk about all my stuff as much as I wanted to.

Essays:
Common App: 9/10. Displayed my ability to set really high goals and never be discouraged by failure. Reviewed by friends at Princeton and Stanford, as well as former CMU admissions officer and highly praised
MIT supps: 9/10. Some of my best work. Reused for so many other schools and scholarships because god damn were they beautiful pieces of writing.
General supps: 7/10. Mixed bag. Some really good, some just ok. Spent a decent amount of time and was pretty happy with all of them
Results
Accepted:

• Johns Hopkins (RD)
• Georgia Tech (Deferred EA, accepted RD - committed!!)
• Purdue (EA)
• UMD (EA)
• Penn State - Waitlisted Honors College (EA)
• VT - Waitlisted Honors College (EA)
• UVA (EA)
• Pitt - Honors College (EA)
• George Mason - Honors College (EA)

Waitlisted

• Carnegie Mellon

Rejected

• MIT

Reflection:
GO YELLOW JACKETS WOOOOO
Final record of 9-1-1 (yay!)
Genuinely shocked by CMU waitlist because former admissions officer loved my personal and my supps. Was probably due to lack of insane math talent (displayed on apps that is).
Didn’t really get huge aid from anywhere but was able to cover most of the cost through existing savings and external scholarships (apply for lots of them, especially local ones!!!!)
Start early!! Going EA was super helpful. If you need to miss a school assignment or 2, you can make that up. Sometimes to have to have to wager your present for the sake of your future. This process can really suck at times but it’s manageable in the end.

Two years ago, I had just moved to a new house from a different neighbourhood for work. I was settling in and getting used to the place, but I was still lonely and went through bouts of depression.
My ex-boyfriend of five years had ended the relationship a while before I moved, and I wasn't having much luck going on dates. I eventually decided to focus my energy into work and fitness instead, but the loneliness lingered. The house still felt empty at times, and the silence was painful. I went through the motions numbly as the days passed by.
About two months after I had moved in, I started noticed a stray dog pacing around my front yard from time to time. It had big, brown, sad eyes, and there was no collar around its neck. I couldn't tell you what breed it was - a reverse Google image search tells me it looks like an Indian Pariah dog. I could always recognize it, as its left eye was slightly larger and darker than the right, but that gave it some unique charm. After seeing it outside my front door for three days straight, I put up some posters along my street inviting anyone who might have lost a dog to call me. I quickly learned that I probably shouldn't have done that, after getting a few silent calls from an unknown number that I eventually chalked up to being a prankster or some scammer.
I called a local animal shelter and them pictures of the dog. A guy came over to scan the dog for a microchip, but found nothing. He said it was most likely abandoned as a puppy. He could take it back to the shelter, or I could look after it for the time being - they would contact me if anyone ever tried to claim it. My grandad had a german shepherd that I used to love playing with, so I always had a soft spot for dogs and agreed to look after it, even if it was for a while. The guy from the animal shelter advised that if I didn't hear back in a week, I should take it to the vet to get it checked out and microchipped, or to the shelter if I didn't want to keep it.
I took care of the dog and let it roam around the living room, with free access to the back yard. I decided to name him Charlie, and purchased more dog food, a labelled dog collar, some brushes to groom him with and dog toys. The nearest vet was a two hour drive away. Work was busy so I wasn't incredibly flexible for a visit, but I managed to get an appointment booked in two weeks' time.
The first night I spent with Charlie, I realized that he might just be what I needed in my life. Late in the evening, I sat on the couch looking at him, sitting quietly in the middle of the room on my wooden floor. I began talking out loud to Charlie. It seemed stupid at first, but the way he sat quietly and listened was comforting. After a while, I got more into it, and vented about my loneliness and frustrations to the point of tears.
How I stayed with my cheating, gaslighting ex-boyfriend because I was too insecure to be alone, until he dumped me. All my failed dates, and how I thought I would die alone and unloved. I poured my heart out to my new companion, spilling my deepest secrets until I cried myself to sleep. The next day, I again began talking to Charlie about the pain and depression I had been through, and he listened patiently once more. I discovered that spending time with my new friend was cathartic. Perhaps I needed to get it all out, and be listened to for once, even if not fully understood.
The third day after I had taken Charlie in, I woke up to realize that I'd overslept half an hour. I poured some food into Charlie's bowl and brushed my teeth at lightning speed, then grabbed my bag and flung the door open, ready to bolt into my car. A surprise greeted me at the front door, that made me stop.
There was a bouquet of red and pink roses on my front door step.
I picked it up and looked at it, confused. There was no note attached or anything. I couldn't think of who it would be from - I obviously hadn't been on any dates recently. Being late for work, I didn't have much time to ponder, so I dropped the roses back on my doorstep and drove off. During the drive, I panicked for a second at the thought that it could have been my ex, but then realized he didn't know my new address, or even that I had moved. The mystery bugged me all day at work. When I came back home, the roses were gone, so I assumed someone had accidentally left them at the wrong address.
That night, I woke to the sound of creaking. As I opened my eyes slightly, I saw something at the foot of my bed and bolted upright, adrenaline rushing through me. As the fogginess faded, my heart rate settled a little.
"It’s just you, Charlie," I sighed, "you scared me."
Charlie continued to stare at me from the foot of my bed. After a minute, he stood up and left the room. I didn't think much of it, and fell back asleep.
For the next week, I continued the usual ritual of talking to Charlie before I went to bed. I would talk about my day, my plans, hopes, dreams and other such things. I found our one way conversations getting more positive each day - they were very therapeutic. Charlie would always stare at me with those big brown eyes and sit quietly still as I talked.
On the morning of the vet appointment, for which I had taken the day off work, I noticed that my car was much cleaner than usual. Had it always been this shiny? I thought. I had driven it to work the Friday before, but I hadn't taken notice of how clean it was then. The last time I had, I could swear there were bird droppings on the back window, and some general grime that covered it all round, but it was now spotless. I pondered for a few seconds, and came to the conclusion that it must've just be a brain lapse on my part - it was probably always clean. Those droppings must have washed away over time with a few rainy nights.
I drove Charlie down to the vet and explained the story of how I'd found him.
"He's very well behaved," she beamed, as she began examining Charlie on the table. "We see a few of these cases from time to time. People's dogs have puppies, and they get sold or abandoned."
"It's a real shame," I sighed. "Charlie's been a star, I'm lucky to have him really. I live alone, so as odd as it sounds, I've been talking to him and it's helped me through some difficult moments."
"That's not strange at all," replied the vet, checking his teeth. "Owning a dog can do wonders for your mental health, especially if you live alo-"
She suddenly stopped.
I stared as she squinted and moved Charlie's head up and down, trying to get a look at something. She plucked a light out of her pocket and aimed it into Charlie's left eye.
"What's wrong?" I asked. She didn't answer, and kept looking at Charlie from different angles. He whimpered slightly.
"Did his eye look like this when you found him?" She asked. I leaned in closer.
"Yeah, I did notice his left eye was slightly darker and larger than his right."
She looked at me for a second and raised her eyebrows, then back at Charlie.
"I'd like to get a closer look at his eye and examine it in the next room, if that's okay?"
"Uh, sure," I said, confused.
Without further explanation, she hastily picked Charlie up and carried him off into a different room. I sat down and waited, reading the news on my phone, expecting her to be back in a few minutes. However, when the vet didn’t come back for a while, my concern began to grow. I paced around the room and tried to glance into the door she had left through a few times.
Then I sat back down and watched the minutes pass by, getting more anxious. Hopefully it's nothing, I thought to myself. An easily curable eye infection perhaps, or a defect he was born with - hopefully it was something like that or nothing. I'd only spent a few weeks with Charlie, but he was the best friend I'd ever had. I had told him so much about me, and he was the only one that had ever really listened to me. I had grown very attached to him quickly, so I almost felt like a worried parent, blaming myself for not bringing him to the vet sooner.
An hour and a half passed, but it felt like eternity. The vet finally came back through the door. I stood up.
"Everything okay?" I asked.
"Have you noticed any odd events recently?" she asked, "Like, anything you couldn't explain?"
"To do with Charlie?"
"No, just in general. Anything you've seen or heard around you that felt out of place in your life?" She insisted. I took a second to think.
"I'm pretty sure this isn't gonna be relevant," I said, "But I have a couple of times. For instance, this morning I thought my car was a lot cleaner than usual. I've been getting some unknown calls, and hearing some creaking noises at night lately, but I'm sure it's just Charlie walking around and waking me up. And… someone left roses on my front doorstep one day. Didn't say from who, but… Sorry, I'm not sure why I'm even telling you this."
I looked up at the vet, who now had a very concerned look on her face.
"I'm going to have to call the police," she said.
It took a few seconds to register. A million thoughts started racing through my mind. Did I say something wrong? Did she think I was abusing Charlie?
"I swear," I said, "Everything I've told you is true, I'm really sorry it took me so long to bring him in, it's my first time owning a dog and all…"
"No, no, it's not that," she said. She gestured for me to follow her into the room through the door.
Charlie was sitting on a table in the middle of the room. There were a few other tables surrounding it, with dog toys and surgical equipment on them. There was a large hole where his left eye had been, now a gaping black cavity.
The vet pointed at a sheet of blue paper on a table next to the one Charlie was on. There were two black domes resting on it, like two halves of a black ping pong ball had been split in half. A clear fluid was covering the outer sides, and staining the blue paper. There was also a tiny black cube. I looked closer, and saw some red and green wires coming out of the tube.
"I took this out of Charlie's left eye," the vet explained, "I thought my eyes were fooling me, but I took a closer look and was sure this thing definitely shouldn't have been in his head. When I took it out, I thought it was some kind of prosthetic eye, until I heard something moving inside it. I opened it up, and found this."
She pointed at the tiny cube and picked it up with some tweezers, revealing a transparent circular window on one side.
"Now I'm no expert, but I took that apart just now and to me it looked a lot like the inside of a camera lens you'd get on a smartphone."
She looked back at me.
"Do you think…" She paused.
"Do you think it's possible someone could have been watching you for the past few days?"
The police were eventually called and an investigation started. The tiny device inside Charlie's eye was indeed a camera lens with a built in audio recording device, and it had a wireless connection. It was an advanced piece of kit, but with some technical expertise they were able to examine its traffic logs and identify an IP address to which the miniature device was streaming.
That IP address belonged to my neighbor, who lived in the house opposite to mine.
I had never seen him leave the house before, although when I moved in I did see his silhouette in the top floor window a couple of times. He was a fifty five year old balding, slightly overweight man who worked as an engineer, but otherwise lived a reclusive lifestyle. I later found out that he had multiple restraining orders placed against him from ex partners. He had a collection of tiny bugging devices which he had been planting in various places including public women's bathrooms for years. These devices could livestream video and audio to his computer, and in his spare time he would watch and listen to this footage he collected.
A while before I moved into the house, he had purchased a puppy from someone he knew, and kept it as a pet without registering it. I assume he got bored of spying on women in bathroom stalls, and when he saw me move into the house opposite, he suddenly got a wild idea of how he could get a peek at something more intimate. The rest is some truly horrific history.
Charlie had been in my room while I slept and even a couple of times while I undressed. But worst of all, I had told him everything about me. The names of previous partners, things about my family, companies I had worked for and more. I wish I could say that I kept Charlie, but I just couldn't. Not after that. The vet arranged for him to be sent to the animal shelter where I'm glad to say he eventually did find a new home. I also relocated and changed my phone number.
For anyone out there wondering, I'm still single. The difference is that nowadays, I'm completely at peace with being alone. I've experienced a worse alternative, that's for sure.

Chance coma boy for Cornell sha-hotel
Chance me for Cornell hotel admin-SHA
CHANCE ME FOR CORNELL SHA-Hotel
CHANCE COMA BOY WHO SAW HİMSELF GETTİNG CHASED İN TEXAS TO CORNELL SHA/HOTEL ADMİNİSTRATİON ED1
Demographics:FGLİ,African(Parents moved to Turkey then moved to US right before my junior year),very rural in Turkey(village with 1000 population,almost no one goes to college),semi-feeder public school in America, US RESİDENT(green card)
Went from rural village public school in Turkey for middle school to a private school in İstanbul(biggest city in Turkey) because the school was connected to a university and agreed to give me full ride and also university housing to my family. Was the only kid there that came from a public school(public schools are horrible in Turkey)
Gpa(UW/W):9th grade: 92.13(top 5 percent), 10th grade selective ib program:83.17(missed like 40 percent of the year due to car crash/coma) 11th: 4.0/4.85 Class rank 1/494
Coursework: No ap/ib offered in 9th grade, 6ib classes in 10th, 11 AP classes in 11th-12th(so total of 17ap+ib)
İB HL MATH A&A in 10th, AP PRECALC AND AB İN 12th
Sat: 1540(800 math, 740 eng)-They're test blind tho
Major:Hotel Admin
**ECS:*\*
İnterim CEO(10th grade): Ran/fully managed former uncle's now family-owned business/motel 42 hours a week. Really small motel tho,6 rooms. Did school work when nothing was happening.
Founder of financial/educational based organizaton(11th-12th):**Raised 14.5 thousand dollars/475 thousand lira for my former elementary school through collective funding/raising money. Money went to renovations/additions.
(2 ecs in 1)Founder of Nonprofit/Owner of small shoe-reselling business(9th-12)th: Ran shoe-reselling business and made 20k and 10k/325k lira of the money went to buying shoes with the money and distrubuted kids at my old village shoes.
İntern at Divan Taksim(Hotel) in turkey, going back summer after 11th
Real estate internship in summer of 10th
Political İntern with Mayor of Turkish City(Elazığ)(CHP)(10th summer)): networked through the time when İ was a lobbyist around a bunch of rich people(you'll see below) Noted that İ want to be the minister of culture and turism in Turkey
Associate to Turkish Volunteering Agency/leader at school(10th grade): Personally volunteered 200 hours for earthquake. Raised 3.8k usd/70k lira throughout my school and district for relief efforts in Southeast Turkey
Student lobbyist for school renovations(10th grade): Was selected to be the only student lobbyist for my school's multi-million Lira expansion to increase class sizes by around 25% with an additional side building and a new library. Mayors son went to my school so thats where the internship came from
Published a book(11th grade) : on outsiders view on hospitality and finance(20k words)
Family responsibilities(11th-12th)(wont go into detail but valid)
Awards:
3.12 percent on LGS-Standardized test that is the sole factor of high school admission. Best score my middle school has ever produced. Only kid that was in the top 10 percent coming out of my middle school since 1998.
TBB National Finance Competition: 2nd out of 10k+ in national Financial knowledge competition ran by Turkish banking association
10th grade research project qualified for Tubitak(Turkish research council: project was about Corona's effect on reading habits throughout Turkish students)
Takdir 9th grade(top 5 percent of freshmen)
4th in national school based swimming relay in 9th.(Was varsity/ A team swimming in 9th grade)
LOR:Ap lang , AP cogo
Additiional info
İnjuries from car crash(coma)- not a joke, got in car crash right before 10th. Was in a coma for 4 weeks and missed like 40 percent of the year from pt, rehab and surgeries.
İ had to delay taking preclac because İ moved here late so İ took precalc and ab senior instead of ab and bc.