The best forwards for ur crush | | The Bing Bong Theorem

TLDR: I've been seeing this guy for 3.5 months. I said something offensive and now I'm considering to leave him because I think he'd be better off without me.
Long version
Let me tell you a bit about myself first. I'm 26F, senior at college. I've been in a long relationship that ended last year. We lived together pretty much the entire time. But I was mentally checked out for the last year or two. When we finally broke up and he left the apartment, I didn't want a relationship for a long time. I was ok flirting a bit here and there, but in the end I didn't want anything serious. Fast forward to February 2024. Finals were over, my friends went back to their hometowns to visit their families. I had to stay in town for a bit longer for some paperwork. I've been all alone almost for a couple weeks. So I posted on a reddit sub, looking for a friend to get a cup of coffee and chat.
I met with someone who reached out. He's 4 years younger than me, but studying a similar subject. He's kind, funny, educated himself in so many areas. He's not "omg look at that hottie" kind but more like "wow, he's kinda got a charm" kinda looking guy, to me at least. I didn't think or want anything other than friendship when we met up. We had the best time ever. We parted and next morning he immediately hit me up with a date request. I was shocked and panicked. I told him I wasn't looking for a relationship and he said "it's okay, I just want to get to know you"
We went on the date, it was kinda awkward since I hadn't been on a date for literally years lol but I guess it was alright. We went to see a play and had dinner after. After that night he told me he liked me. I said it's too soon. He gave me some space since he was gonna be out of town for a couple weeks, but we kept texting. The day he got back, he immediately asked to meet up for a coffee. I accepted since I didn't have anything else to do. He's easy to talk to and he can lead the conversation pretty smoothly. He's definitely charming, I'm never bored with him. We laugh and talk. We spent a month like that and we finally became closer, not really a couple but just close. Right before I left, we became intimate and it wasn't really what I expected... But I didn't lose attraction to him, we both weren't very experienced anyway. We finally cuddled and I fell asleep for a minute, then I woke up to the sound from the movie. He was whispering to me that he loves me and I'm so beautiful, thinking I'm still sleeping. I pretended to be asleep because I didn't want to say I love him too. It was too soon for me.
I thought we would lose contact when I left town but we kept talking and we became even much closer. He keeps me informed like where he is, who he is with, stuff like that etc like we're a couple. I wasn't quite ready to be there yet. I let him know that I want to spend more time together and make sure how I feel but I told him that I liked him and cared about him. He was okay with waiting. We spent weeks like this, kinda like LDR. He's always kind and funny and charming. I have my doubts time to time since he's a bit younger and sometimes he can be a little childish as well but not in an annoying way.
Fast forward to last night, we were on the phone and we were talking about something and laughing. Then I reminded him a conversation we had and that I sent him a youtube video, and said "it was like I was making a child watch a video to keep them busy", we have an inside running joke that he's a child because he's younger than me. It's definitely a joke, he calls me milf if you wanna know. We both have inside jokes like that.
But he was really offended by it and giving me the cold shoulder since. He was really calm and sad the whole conversation. It broke my heart that knowing I hurt him. He's a good person and I don't think he deserves this. I didn't even think it was a big deal until he said it was heartbreaking that I even thought of this, let alone saying it.
So my question is, even though it's not an established relationship, should I leave him and let him be happier with someone who won't hurt him?
This man absolutely adored and worshipped me and made me feel like I was important. Ofc there were times I didn't feel like it but it was still better than anything I had. And I can't believe I hurt him for something so stupid.
Tell me what to do reddit?

We both tattoo and met 9 months ago at the tattoo shop I worked at, she was an apprentice and we just clicked and started talking. In the beginning looking back I think we both love bombed eachother but at the time I didn’t see it that way I just saw it as love at first sight and I was so into her and her I. But I recall her telling me I told her I love you sooner than normal, I want to prefise this as to say I may also have some undiagnosed issues. I have an identical twin who has bipolar I dnt know the specifics but he could be very irrational and angry most of the time. But I’ve never been that way. I’m typically passive and try my best to avoid conflict, a people pleaser. But back to the story we fell in love and in the beginning our age gap was an issue for her but over time that became a non issue. I became part of her family and she became part of mine. But at least once a month she would break up with me for various reasons one main reason being she was confused about her sexuality, we are both bi, she would always come back saying she loved me and I’m just confused and we would have the most amazing sex and special moments. When we met she had a male friend that she told me was only a friend but after 4 months randomly confessed he wasn’t just a friend, he was an ex she met though a dating app. Which really shocked me because they talked everyday which isn’t a problem and I wouldn’t typically care but the fact she chose to lie for so long made me uncomfortable. Which she insisted on continuing to talk to after I expressed that it made me uncomfortable. She also had a mutual friend lie to me so they could spend time together without my knowledge saying that she did this because she thought I would be mad considering she’s bi and our mutual friend is lesbian. And again I was shocked that she did this. I found this out by looking in her phone which I’m not proud of but if I didn’t this information would have never been known. after this she treated me with so much love for a small period of time and I always wondered if it was only an attempt to make up for the things she’d did as it soon stopped and we went back to the ways things were. Her withholding affection silent treatments and lack of communication. But she wanted to regain my trust and so I chose to forgive her and build back the trust. Fast forward to now she would txt me I love u every morning and we had plans for the future and all the things in a relationship and suddenly and randomly again she messaged saying I can’t do this I’m confused and I no longer have feelings for you. Obviously I was confused and deeply hurt, I regrettably begged her to work on this with me because she has done this in the past and hasn’t been taking her medication throughout our relationship and since I’ve met her I’ve learned so much about her condition. She has quiet bpd and disorganized attachment. And I’m anxiously attached so in my mind I thought could this be a repeat of her past behaviors and with time this may pass. She agreed but said she only would do it to make me happy and that because her family loved me it made sense but deep down I knew and she vocalized that she didn’t want to and that she was putting on a mask to satisfy me. Which hurts because I want her to be happy but I also wanted her to want to fix this like I did. The plan was to take things slow so I invited her over for dinner and movies and told her I would refrain from serious talk but the problem is with her I was never able to talk about my feelings. Anything serious or relationship related and she would shut down and it stifled any communication. we had a few drinks and regrettably I brought up my frustrations and how it wasn’t just the two of it was us and her bpd. Like usual she shut down and I tried to be present while she explained her feelings. The mistake I made was that while she was crying I was smirking this is what she said and that wasn’t my intention to make her feel crazy but she said my facial expressions made her feel that way .so she left and has blocked me on everything. I kind of vommitted all my backed up feelings on her because I repressed it for so long and I feel bad, I didn’t want to hurt her but I never felt safe telling her how I felt out of fear of her reaction but since it may very well be the end I wanted to at least tell my truth. I loved her so much and regret my inability to hold to what I said and not bring up serous talk if u will but I also feel like it’s not fair to me that I can’t express my self to my partner. Through our relationship she said some of the meanest things anyone has ever to me that anyone. I guess this is kind of a rant and idk what opinions you may have because I don’t think she will ever speak to me again but the saddest part is I truly loved her and her family and would have done anything for her and I tried every day to be there for her and learn about her condition so that I could be the best partner possible . I’m scared about my future and the pain I will face in the coming months, I built my life around her. But I think deep down I knew this wouldn’t work I just so badly wanted it to. I love u Andrea always and forever. I’ll never know how much of our relationship was steered by her bpd but I know that she has an amazingly loving and kind person and just has her own set of problems. I want to say that I know I have issues to and in no way want to be negative towards her or undermined my issue I just can only write so much in this post. I’ve never felt a pain like this and I’ve had other serious relationships. Sry for the rant I just need to vent my feelings and I just miss her already and I dnt see a point in anything anymore but I’m to weak to unalive myself.

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https://www.instagram.com/johnerycreatives/
LET'S CHAT
[contact@johnery.com](mailto:contact@johnery.com)
ABOUT ME
Hi everyone! I'm John, a freelance graphic designer who has worked with many clients on a multitude of projects over the past few years. Versatility is one of my key strengths. Whether it’s a modern approach or something more casual, I believe I have the skills and knowledge to meet your needs.
MY CLIENTELE AND SERVICES
I design for

Businesses and Startups
Streamers and YouTubers
Authors and Comic Creators

I also provide standalone services, such as

Logo Design and Branding
Marketing Materials
Web Design

RATES
Pricing is dependent on the scale, budget, and scope of work for the project. I usually charge a flat rate based on my hourly rate is $30 per hour. Don't hesitate to contact me for a quote and we can discuss further.
I'm currently available for new projects, If you're interested or have any questions, feel free to send me a message and I'll try to help as best as I can. Looking forward to hearing from you!

PORTFOLIO
https://johnery.com/
https://www.instagram.com/johnerycreatives/
LET'S CHAT
[contact@johnery.com](mailto:contact@johnery.com)
ABOUT ME
Hi everyone! I'm John, a freelance graphic designer who has worked with many clients on a multitude of projects over the past few years. Versatility is one of my key strengths. Whether it’s a modern approach or something more casual, I believe I have the skills and knowledge to meet your needs.
MY CLIENTELE AND SERVICES
I design for

Businesses and Startups
Streamers and YouTubers
Authors and Comic Creators

I also provide standalone services, such as

Logo Design and Branding
Marketing Materials
Web Design

RATES
Pricing is dependent on the scale, budget, and scope of work for the project. I usually charge a flat rate based on my hourly rate is $30 per hour. Don't hesitate to contact me for a quote and we can discuss further.
I'm currently available for new projects, If you're interested or have any questions, feel free to send me a message and I'll try to help as best as I can. Looking forward to hearing from you!

about me I like staying active, I workout 6 days a week. I just started to watch anime on crunchy roll shits addicting. I love music from every genre I think of I had to choose classic punk, and classic rock are my go to. Skateboarding used to be a huge thing in my life I’m kind of thinking about picking it up again. Anyway I look forward to talking to whoever messages me.
Also side note I have recently been diagnosed with ADHD I’m very open about it despite the weird stigma behind it. I mask it as best as possible but it’s just easier for people to know so they don’t think I mean to be awkward haha.

PORTFOLIO
https://johnery.com/
https://www.instagram.com/johnerycreatives/
LET'S CHAT
[contact@johnery.com](mailto:contact@johnery.com)
ABOUT ME
Hi everyone! I'm John, a freelance graphic designer who has worked with many clients on a multitude of projects over the past few years. Versatility is one of my key strengths. Whether it’s a modern approach or something more casual, I believe I have the skills and knowledge to meet your needs.
MY CLIENTELE AND SERVICES
I design for

Businesses and Startups
Streamers and YouTubers
Authors and Comic Creators

I also provide standalone services, such as

Logo Design and Branding
Marketing Materials
Web Design

RATES
Pricing is dependent on the scale, budget, and scope of work for the project. I usually charge a flat rate based on my hourly rate is $30 per hour. Don't hesitate to contact me for a quote and we can discuss further.
I'm currently available for new projects, If you're interested or have any questions, feel free to send me a message and I'll try to help as best as I can. Looking forward to hearing from you!

My (19M) friend (19M) texted me 3 months ago to tell me that he could no longer speak to me because he is in a committed relationship and he was starting to develop a crush on me. In order to prioritise his boyfriend, whom he loves very much, he had to cut contact with me, for a non-specific amount of time. In his words, it is “dangerous” for us to speak.
This all starts when we were 16- 3 years ago. Something important to know: this did not start platonically. We were two 16 year old boys who had similar interests and who could sustain one another intellectually, and thence began a romantic long-distance summer fling. He is a classical musician and actually composed me some pieces. After a while, it died out because of the distance. We remained friends after the fact, but I most certainly did not forget him. He told me at 16 that I was one of those people you’re told your whole life that you’ll meet. Those words have stuck with me.
For the next two years that followed, contact remained spotty. Any conversation we had revolved around music (mostly), philosophy, life, anything. Usually long conversations, but very infrequent.
Then August 2023 rolls around. I’m 18 and I’m about to begin uni on the other side of the country. In a new city….. in his city. Yes, I moved to his city. Not on purpose. I post my arrival on my Instagram story, and he replies that we must get coffee together sometime soon. Basically, I was head over heels. I had a crush on this guy. He’s a local, so he ended up picking a pizza restaurant. I arrive first and I’m waiting in front of the restaurant, facing the window. All of a sudden, I see his reflection in the window; a guy wearing a violin case like a backpack. I turn around and he crosses the street to come give me a hug. This was our first meeting in person.
We spoke a while in the restaurant. Spoiler: He has had a boyfriend since March at this point (I HAD NO CLUE). At one point in our pizza-filled conversation, he mentions his boyfriend. However, in our language, the word he used can mean either boyfriend or friend. I really didn’t think he was in a relationship, so my delusional ass interpreted it in the platonic sense. After the restaurant, we walked to his music school, where we found a room. I sat on a chair and he took out his violin. He asked me to name any composer and he would play a piece from said composer. I neglected to mention that he is extremely talented. One in a million. If it isn’t obvious, I thought this was a date. It was not a date; not for him at least.
After said encounter, I felt quite disappointed that I didn’t get any romantic vibes from him (duh, it was not a date. He literally mentioned his boyfriend lol). I complained to my old roommate for days about this. My roommate, on some intoxicated bender, texts this guy and tells him that he needs to let me know if he has feelings for me or not. I was furious. My roommate guiltily confessed this to me the following morning. He told my roommate that he is not single and that he is not at all interested in me. He does say, however, that “we would have been the perfect match”; something that he probably shouldn’t have said but it is not something that I will contest. What my roommate did was a gross violation of my boundaries, of course I’m upset. However, in a way, it almost needed to happen. A few days later, I reply to his story about some other restaurant, and he says that his bf/friend (the word is ambiguous in our language) recommended it to him. I ask him if he has a boyfriend and he clears it up then and there. It was after this interaction that my crush dissipated. Knowing that he wasn’t interested in me really helped with me moving onto other guys.
Over the following months, we speak every now and then. When we spoke, the conversations would not end. The kind of conversations where you know that you have to go to bed, so you wished the other person goodnight, yet there you are talking about fucking Ligeti 50 minutes later. Anyways, while I was supposed to working on a philosophy assignment, I told him that I USED to have a crush on him, but I was firm on the fact that I no longer did. I told him the “date” story as a funny anecdote. He had no clue that I ever liked him like that at any point. The conversation got a little awkward, but he told me that he really loves his boyfriend, but that he “does not forget”. He tells me that we would have been a perfect match. Funny.
A little while after, he invites me to one of his concerts at the museum. There, I meet his mother and grandparents. Also, his boyfriend. The concert was great, and the three of us chat for a while afterwards. Unfortunately, he has to leave, but he suggests that I tour the museum with his boyfriend, so his boyfriend and I tour the museum together. Interesting experience. Something important to know: I don’t have the best impression of his boyfriend. Their relationship is (was???) an open relationship and it felt like this guy really had to convince him to join his polyamory, based on what he told me in their conversations. Also, they were apparently on a break at one point earlier in the year because my friend’s mental/physical health was really bad, so to me it seems as though his boyfriend abandoned him in his time of need because the relationship “got hard”, so I already don’t have the best impression of him based on what my friend has told me. Anyways, I honestly thought that his bf was flirting with me??? (I guess he is allowed to because it’s an open relationship, but still…).
Fast forward the following month: we were supposed to see a concert together but something bad happened so he couldn’t attend. I end up buying him a CD which I had signed because this is a very famous pianist who just happened to visit our city. For like 3 months, we didn’t see each other, but I reminded him regularly that I had a specially-signed CD to give him. He has classes next to my apartment sometimes, but we can’t seem to get our schedules to fit…. until the end of February.
He has this class thing where you can invite people to watch you play and get critiqued, which he invited me to! After watching him play, I greet him outside the room and one of his colleagues. Let’s call her F. We all chat a little and I give him his disk. Literally such a mundane interaction.
BUT THEN THREE DAYS LATER, he texts me that he is very sorry, but that we have to cut contact. He has been dishonest toward himself and toward his boyfriend, because he has a crush on me. He doesn’t WANT to have a crush on me. And look, I get it. His relationship is important and he is putting the guy he loves first. You can’t control how you feel about people, but you CAN control what you do about it. So I get it. Wouldn’t I do the same? I told him to promise me that he wouldn’t forget about me completely. I screamed “what the actual fuck” multiple times because I didn’t know how to process this. This is definitely not an event I expected to have in 2024… The only links we have in common are now: we have each other’s phone numbers, we are Facebook friends, and I am friends with F on Facebook because she also happens to be in my programme at uni. But we have not spoken. Not a single word between us since February 24th. I respect his decision, so I will not speak to him.
This guy occupied my mind rent-free. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Frustrating because when he told me that he wasn’t interested back in August, that was enough to help me move on. And all of a sudden, my mind can’t let go of the fact that this guy has a crush on me. This guy, whom my type is kind of based on honestly. Middle of March rolls by, and I meet F (his colleague) again at an event hosted by our programme. We all got drunk, especially me 🤦🏻‍♂️. And of course, being drunk, you have a tendency to bring down your inhibitions. We’re on the bus and she asks me how I know the friend. I tell her it’s a long story, but that I can’t speak to him anymore. I say that “he’s soooo dramatic”. She asks me to explain further, but I tell her that I can’t.
The next day, I felt like an idiot!!! Wow. I almost told her what happened. I don’t need that spreading around his school. I saw a uni therapist at the beginning of April, which didn’t really help much. Every time I took the bus, I would check to see if he too was on the bus. Never was.
BUT THEN, I met someone new. We’ll call him T. T has been successful in getting my mind off of the friend. It’s quite recent, but we’re seeing each other and it’s moving along smoothly. Beginning of May, I barely think about the friend anymore. I have a new guy in my thoughts and I’m very happy about it. So T and I go to see a concert together. Guess who just had to be doing a pre-concert in the waiting hall. The violinist friend. T and I are walking up the stairs and all of a sudden the violinist and I made eye-contact and I basically just had a hot flash. I had not seen this guy since February… And I seriously had to make eye-contact with him while I’m on a date with T???
I feel like my progress is ruined. Ever since I saw him at the concert hall, he is on my mind again. I keep checking his Facebook. I can’t listen to my favourite music without thinking about him. But I refuse to give up the music that feeds my soul just because he likes the same stuff. I feel awful toward T, because I have another guy in my thoughts.
All I know is that this person is special. I have known this for years and he is not someone I could accept never having in my life again. He has never forsaken me. I have a deep desire to share my life with him and to be apart of his, and I am perfectly okay with it being platonic. I just don’t know how I’m supposed to live my life without it being a soap opera.
TL;DR: An old friend that I had a crush on, but no longer had a crush on once I found out that he was in a relationship and was not interested in me, ended up having a crush on me and has had to cut contact with me in order to not be dishonest toward his boyfriend. I can’t stop thinking about him. It’s driving me mad.

Just sharing our timeline in case it helps anyone:

02/02/2024 - Application submitted and fees paid.
01/03/2024 - Biometrics.
04/03/2024 - Not straight forward email.
13/05/2024 - ECO email.
17/05/2024 - TLS contact "A decision has been made".
17/05/2024 - My wife immediately collected her passport, visa approved.

Applied in Moscow, our application was actually quite straight forward, married and using savings with accommodation offer form my parents, so I think the only "not straight forward" part was that my wife is Russian. Wishing all the best for those still waiting, it's really a soul destroying process.

My (19M) friend (19M) texted me 3 months ago to tell me that he could no longer speak to me because he is in a committed relationship and he was starting to develop a crush on me. In order to prioritise his boyfriend, whom he loves very much, he had to cut contact with me, for a non-specific amount of time. In his words, it is “dangerous” for us to speak.
This all starts when we were 16- 3 years ago. Something important to know: this did not start platonically. We were two 16 year old boys who had similar interests and who could sustain one another intellectually, and thence began a romantic long-distance summer fling. He is a classical musician and actually composed me some pieces. After a while, it died out because of the distance. We remained friends after the fact, but I most certainly did not forget him. He told me at 16 that I was one of those people you’re told your whole life that you’ll meet. Those words have stuck with me.
For the next two years that followed, contact remained spotty. Any conversation we had revolved around music (mostly), philosophy, life, anything. Usually long conversations, but very infrequent.
Then August 2023 rolls around. I’m 18 and I’m about to begin uni on the other side of the country. In a new city….. in his city. Yes, I moved to his city. Not on purpose. I post my arrival on my Instagram story, and he replies that we must get coffee together sometime soon. Basically, I was head over heels. I had a crush on this guy. He’s a local, so he ended up picking a pizza restaurant. I arrive first and I’m waiting in front of the restaurant, facing the window. All of a sudden, I see his reflection in the window; a guy wearing a violin case like a backpack. I turn around and he crosses the street to come give me a hug. This was our first meeting in person.
We spoke a while in the restaurant. Spoiler: He has had a boyfriend since March at this point (I HAD NO CLUE). At one point in our pizza-filled conversation, he mentions his boyfriend. However, in our language, the word he used can mean either boyfriend or friend. I really didn’t think he was in a relationship, so my delusional ass interpreted it in the platonic sense. After the restaurant, we walked to his music school, where we found a room. I sat on a chair and he took out his violin. He asked me to name any composer and he would play a piece from said composer. I neglected to mention that he is extremely talented. One in a million. If it isn’t obvious, I thought this was a date. It was not a date; not for him at least.
After said encounter, I felt quite disappointed that I didn’t get any romantic vibes from him (duh, it was not a date. He literally mentioned his boyfriend lol). I complained to my old roommate for days about this. My roommate, on some intoxicated bender, texts this guy and tells him that he needs to let me know if he has feelings for me or not. I was furious. My roommate guiltily confessed this to me the following morning. He told my roommate that he is not single and that he is not at all interested in me. He does say, however, that “we would have been the perfect match”; something that he probably shouldn’t have said but it is not something that I will contest. What my roommate did was a gross violation of my boundaries, of course I’m upset. However, in a way, it almost needed to happen. A few days later, I reply to his story about some other restaurant, and he says that his bf/friend (the word is ambiguous in our language) recommended it to him. I ask him if he has a boyfriend and he clears it up then and there. It was after this interaction that my crush dissipated. Knowing that he wasn’t interested in me really helped with me moving onto other guys.
Over the following months, we speak every now and then. When we spoke, the conversations would not end. The kind of conversations where you know that you have to go to bed, so you wished the other person goodnight, yet there you are talking about fucking Ligeti 50 minutes later. Anyways, while I was supposed to working on a philosophy assignment, I told him that I USED to have a crush on him, but I was firm on the fact that I no longer did. I told him the “date” story as a funny anecdote. He had no clue that I ever liked him like that at any point. The conversation got a little awkward, but he told me that he really loves his boyfriend, but that he “does not forget”. He tells me that we would have been a perfect match. Funny.
A little while after, he invites me to one of his concerts at the museum. There, I meet his mother and grandparents. Also, his boyfriend. The concert was great, and the three of us chat for a while afterwards. Unfortunately, he has to leave, but he suggests that I tour the museum with his boyfriend, so his boyfriend and I tour the museum together. Interesting experience. Something important to know: I don’t have the best impression of his boyfriend. Their relationship is (was???) an open relationship and it felt like this guy really had to convince him to join his polyamory, based on what he told me in their conversations. Also, they were apparently on a break at one point earlier in the year because my friend’s mental/physical health was really bad, so to me it seems as though his boyfriend abandoned him in his time of need because the relationship “got hard”, so I already don’t have the best impression of him based on what my friend has told me. Anyways, I honestly thought that his bf was flirting with me??? (I guess he is allowed to because it’s an open relationship, but still…).
Fast forward the following month: we were supposed to see a concert together but something bad happened so he couldn’t attend. I end up buying him a CD which I had signed because this is a very famous pianist who just happened to visit our city. For like 3 months, we didn’t see each other, but I reminded him regularly that I had a specially-signed CD to give him. He has classes next to my apartment sometimes, but we can’t seem to get our schedules to fit…. until the end of February.
He has this class thing where you can invite people to watch you play and get critiqued, which he invited me to! After watching him play, I greet him outside the room and one of his colleagues. Let’s call her F. We all chat a little and I give him his disk. Literally such a mundane interaction.
BUT THEN THREE DAYS LATER, he texts me that he is very sorry, but that we have to cut contact. He has been dishonest toward himself and toward his boyfriend, because he has a crush on me. He doesn’t WANT to have a crush on me. And look, I get it. His relationship is important and he is putting the guy he loves first. You can’t control how you feel about people, but you CAN control what you do about it. So I get it. Wouldn’t I do the same? I told him to promise me that he wouldn’t forget about me completely. I screamed “what the actual fuck” multiple times because I didn’t know how to process this. This is definitely not an event I expected to have in 2024… The only links we have in common are now: we have each other’s phone numbers, we are Facebook friends, and I am friends with F on Facebook because she also happens to be in my programme at uni. But we have not spoken. Not a single word between us since February 24th. I respect his decision, so I will not speak to him.
This guy occupied my mind rent-free. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Frustrating because when he told me that he wasn’t interested back in August, that was enough to help me move on. And all of a sudden, my mind can’t let go of the fact that this guy has a crush on me. This guy, whom my type is kind of based on honestly. Middle of March rolls by, and I meet F (his colleague) again at an event hosted by our programme. We all got drunk, especially me 🤦🏻‍♂️. And of course, being drunk, you have a tendency to bring down your inhibitions. We’re on the bus and she asks me how I know the friend. I tell her it’s a long story, but that I can’t speak to him anymore. I say that “he’s soooo dramatic”. She asks me to explain further, but I tell her that I can’t.
The next day, I felt like an idiot!!! Wow. I almost told her what happened. I don’t need that spreading around his school. I saw a uni therapist at the beginning of April, which didn’t really help much. Every time I took the bus, I would check to see if he too was on the bus. Never was.
BUT THEN, I met someone new. We’ll call him T. T has been successful in getting my mind off of the friend. It’s quite recent, but we’re seeing each other and it’s moving along smoothly. Beginning of May, I barely think about the friend anymore. I have a new guy in my thoughts and I’m very happy about it. So T and I go to see a concert together. Guess who just had to be doing a pre-concert in the waiting hall. The violinist friend. T and I are walking up the stairs and all of a sudden the violinist and I made eye-contact and I basically just had a hot flash. I had not seen this guy since February… And I seriously had to make eye-contact with him while I’m on a date with T???
I feel like my progress is ruined. Ever since I saw him at the concert hall, he is on my mind again. I keep checking his Facebook. I can’t listen to my favourite music without thinking about him. But I refuse to give up the music that feeds my soul just because he likes the same stuff. I feel awful toward T, because I have another guy in my thoughts.
All I know is that this person is special. I have known this for years and he is not someone I could accept never having in my life again. He has never forsaken me. I have a deep desire to share my life with him and to be apart of his, and I am perfectly okay with it being platonic. I just don’t know how I’m supposed to live my life without it being a soap opera.

Hello,
I am a 21 year old bisexual. After the recent rise of popularity of a song (Good Luck, Babe! By Chappel Roan) on TikTok, I've been listening to it nonstop. I've ugly cried to it more than once. But it's normal, right?
Until I saw another video with the song. The text on the video is: "bisexual girls if you feel "called out" by this bridge maybe you should look a little deeper because as someone bisexual that's engaged to a man I don't feel called out, I just vibe" which made me realise several things:

I always tell others my attraction towards women were innate. I liked girls ever since I was a kid (I came out as gay at 11). It wasn't until I was 16, that I had genuine romantic feelings for men.
I have a boyfriend now, he is the best partner I've had so far. We are very serious about each other and planning to get married in 2 years. But I've always told him that the reason why I actively seek men after I finish high school is because I don't want to have "drama" and conflicts with my family (very religious Catholics). My mom, although not religious, had beaten me up when she found out that I had a girlfriend at 15. I feel defeated when I'm with a girl because I know my family wouldn't like it. Additionally, I'm in a country that criminalised homosexuality. The punishment for committing homosexuality is public canning and imprisonment.
I've always felt like marriage with a man feels incomplete. That it would invalidate my wlw experiences. Being with men sometimes feel like a chore. Although this is not the case with my current boyfriend.
It's so easy for me to find women attractive, but with men I find it hard to see them romantically or sexually. The number of women I've find attractive/have a crush is greater than it is with men.

I don't know how to navigate through this confusion. Please give some words that could actually clear up things. Thank you.

Hi! I'm really looking for that special someone, potential soulmate, best friend and partner for life. If you aren't from Australia, i'm hoping we can bridge the gap if you live outside of there, but LDR is okay initially. Preferably looking for someone who is between the age of 18-32, since we might be in the same place in life. I don't have nor want kids right now, but I might be open to the idea in the later future, if I really connect with my partner and know them long enough, but currently i'm fine with the idea of not having them.
I'm 5'8, 70kg, Caucasian, blue eyes, darkish blonde hair, and have an Australian accent. We can exchange photos of each other early on so we know if we have that physical attraction. I'm pretty introverted, but can really open up once I get to know someone and tend to be very loyal once I really fall for my person. I don't drink, do drugs or smoke, but I don't mind if you do. I'm not very picky with weight unless you are really obese. Bonus points if you are brunette, but it's okay if you aren't!
My main interests include video games, watching tv shows and movies, reading, walking, exercising, travelling, snuggling, going on walks or just vibing at home. Looking forward to hearing from you, thanks!

For context, I've played plenty of RPGs but none of Larian studios games before. Probably the closest things I've played have been Dragon Age and X-Com. But now, after my first 240 run, I wanted to provide some thoughts.

Acts 1 and 2 are much better than Act 3. Act 3 is too sprawling and whilst you're thinking about saving the world, having some silly side quests just didn't work. It is also just TOO big - I'd rather it was a little bit smaller and more refined as there were quite a few things which were obviously not finished when the game launched.
Loot in the game is pretty good overall, I liked the variety but having said that when you get best in class gear there is little incentive to try new builds
The amount of detail in the game is insane. So many NPCs to speak to. So many characters and stories. It is all really deep and crafted with love
The fight mechanics are superb and I love how there are so many approaches to them all. Although I probably only used a fraction of the elixirs and spells I had acquired by the end
Levelling is fun, but once you reach level 12 you are a little OP and the sense of progression falls off. But at the same time you have plenty of time to enjoy being max level
Artwork and cut-scenes are brilliant
Despite me finding Act 3 a slog, I did enjoy all the endings. I was pretty happy with my conclusion - with my Tav joining Karlach in Avernus (let Wyll go there by himself, didn't want him cramping my style). Shadowheart had her parents and the owl bear, Astarion didn't ascend, but was happy, Gale was teaching and found some humility. The Emperor was still alive and no one became mind flayers. We stopped them all!!!

...Lae'zel went to her queen and Withers implied she could have been killed, but she would have been happy with that. Considering I started my romance with Lae'zel in Act 1, she then left me, then she got abducted, I then rescued her...but overall Karlach was the one I wanted. Overall it all worked out well for my team and I was very happy with the conclusion
Overall, I'd say this is one of if not the best game I've ever played. But I think there is still room for refinement and look forward to playing whatever Larian make next. Thanks for the long read - let me know what you think!

So, I got made redundant a week ago; it was unexpected to say the least. I have enough savings to last me until August running on bare minimum, but trying to get employed ASAP. It seems everyone within this industry is having a bad time right now. I've been looking for jobs, but as I was working fully remote and the industry I was working in does not flourish around here. That's fine. Over the last few weeks, I've accepted that working fully remote is now a pipedream. But god damn, is getting a job hard.
Before I got made redundant, I got 2 interviews, before I heard word I was being made redundant I had another 2 and in the intervening week i've had 4. But now things have just dried up. So far all rejections have been "You were perfect, but we went with someone with slightly more experience"
But now, I'm even being dismissed by recruiters, and their reasons have come down to the following:

"We can't match what you were being paid" That's fine, just pay me. I have a small bracket based on my experience, but willing to take a cut, and said I wouldn't be able to be paid as much as I was as my job was in London, but I need to pay the bills. But stop offering me jobs under £24k for a job most others are offering £26k (the lowest I can take so I can pay the bills). My experience, and bills, can't take that low. We've discussed this every time, but they don't seem to write it down....
"You wouldn't be happy fully in office, so we didn't put you forward" I said I don't mind that, I need the money. I commuted previously in previous roles, but thanks for listening
"This isn't a tech role, you would be bored so we didn't put you forward" For the love of.....I'm applying because my skills are transferable, and I want to work. Previously, you said it was a great idea. Come on!
"The skills are extremely desirable & transferable, but we can only offer you LOW BALL AMOUNT FOR MINIMUM WAGE" Man, this is happening way too often. You apply for a job for the right amount and the offer is not what was written in the advert/discussed with the recruiter.
"This job is in TOWN YOU LIVE IN, you worked in London, so we didn't put you forward" COME ON. In my CV, and in our conversations, we said I worked remotely. Thanks for paying attention.
"Your job at COMPANY I WORKED FOR was amazing, not sure why you would give it up". Thanks for that salt, I explained why.

The three interviews I had this week were from lovely recruiters who helped out, the rest have been so harsh and dejected because of the above. When has job searching become so hard?
Is the best thing to do strip my CV and make it as simple as possible/removing all tech talk so recruiters will pass me for non-tech jobs so I can pay my bills?

So I have been friends with this guy for 4 years and have been in love with him for over 2 of those years, at the time we weren’t as close and i was too afraid to make a move in case i ruined anything because i would rather have and love him from a distance than not at all. He helped me through so much during our friendship and he was the one person who gave me genuine and truthful advice to help me move forwards and that just made me appreciate him more. last year we got especially close and he ended up falling in love with me and we clicked perfectly. he is and was the sweetest person i know, met my standards and went above and beyond, showed me nothing but pure love and importantly we were best friends. We shared so much together and we have never had a single argument, disagreements but they were always accepted and never led to anything more than that. we communicated well and could talk about anything for hours, you get the point. about a month or two ago he wanted to split up because we didn’t get to see each other often and we were both really busy with life and he was planning on moving away for Uni next year, we both always promised each other if there ever was something like this to happen that we can always remain in touch and get back together when the time is right. so we split up but everything between us was still the same, seeing each other when possible and still texting as usual just not so often. I found out he started dating one of his friends that he made this year and I’m absolutely devastated. I’ve asked him about it and all he says is that “it’s more complicated than how i felt about you, i knew we couldn’t be together forever and i’m sorry i couldn’t make things work” just last week he was telling me loved me and everything was as normal, he tells me he had no intention of hurting me and he always thought about me when we broke up and hoped i would be okay but he has no words because he knows how vulnerable i am to him and the love i truly have for him.
This was so unexpected and i’m so heartbroken to loose such a connection and knowing he’s sharing this with another girl. I don’t understand how he could do this or why. is it his way of getting over it? did he lie and loose feelings just to lead me on after? I have so many questions.
I’m not the type to obsess over him and dwell on it but i genuinely don’t know how i’m going to move forwards from this because i just believe in us deep down that were meant for each other and i can’t convince myself otherwise. everything reminds me of him and it’s hard to believe that i can do this without him because he is that person who taught me to love myself and that i am capable of achieving the things i dream of. thinking about motivating myself to get over this and that i will get over it is so hard because the only reason i can do that is because of him and everything just reminds me of him again. I would do anything for this guy and just want to love him.
Can someone please give their input as i’m really stuck on what i should do, I really don’t think i can do it alone. I have never felt such a true connection with someone in my life and am absolutely shattered

I choose this platform to say sorry to a person I hurt 15 years ago. I know we have our own lives today but I would like to take the courage to say sorry. For me to also move on and validate the feelings I had this moment. I'm not a good writer but I want to share my story. Do you guys experienced having no memory of a certain situation in your life? It's like you remember the person but not fully apprehend what "really" happened to both of you? Seems like there is a missing puzzle in the big picture? It happened to me and realized everything after all the embarrasing things I did. I was like acting the victim before and not knowing I am to blame after all. Year 2023 when I came back in my country, I'm working overseas by the way. As I went home, I declutter my personal things and there I saw some letters wayback 15years ago. Letters during our retreat activity college days. I read all their sweet messages and I stumbled to read a letter written by my crush. After reading his short and sweet letter I'm sobbing. Tears rolling down my cheeks and asking myself, what was my reaction when I read his letter before? Like what did I do?!! Did I read this? I'm thinking so hard searching for answers in my head about his letter but got no answer. It was so vague to me that I cannot find the answer I'm looking for in my mind and in my memory. All memories and emotions were bleak during that specific time. Throughout the day, all I'm thinking about was his letter. Thoughts like, yeah, I do have a crush on him during college days and it is too impossible that I disregarded that letter. I'm thinking crazy things already about his letter yet I cannot remember what really happened. I contacted my close friend who's been with me since college. She's like my sister from another mother who knows everything since college days. I started the convo sending her the letter he wrote for me and instantly she recognize who wrote it. She even ask me what did I do when I read the letter before or did I even bother to read the letter? I told her I cannot remember what I did before but one thing that's clear to me was our friendship seemed to drift away even before the graduation day. That's why I was'nt able to contact him after graduation day till up to present. Thinking, I was just the girl who just learned that the guy I like before, liked me back after reading the letter, my friend give me a silly suggestion of giving him a PM. Yes, we are classmates, friends during those days. He was on my list of friends in my socmedia yet after all this years, I never sent him a PM. I just wanted to say hi but I'm too embarassed to do it. Overthinking stuff and crazy ideas crossing in my mind. Then all of a sudden I saw in my screen 11:11am, immediately type hi and hit send button. Feeling embarassed that I pm-ed him first at the same time doubting if he still knows me, I'm too anxious in wanting to have or not to have a reply from him that time. Morning the next day upon checking my phone I got a reply from him, 👍 at 5:55am. Being weirdo again all I did was to talk to myself early that morning to give him a reply or not. I'm thorn of doing so or what. Then I just decided to give him a message of asking how is he, introducing myself, hope he's doing okay, message him because of blah, blah then wishin him luck and good day. Ugh, still embarassed. I thought it will be the end of our convo but he replied back saying he's doing okay. He remember me saying I'm his classmate and I'm happy that he's doing good now in his new career. He also ask how I'm doing and what do I do these days. We exchange 4-5 convo until he stop responding. I'm like yeah, that's it. I'm sure he's busy and I understand his profession demands time but I also want myself not to expect anything in REALITY. I'm being too emotional as of the moment that all I got to think was him and his letter creating imaginary things between us. I'm a rational person so as I pacify myself and calm down the thoughts in my mind, I decided to write everything in my journal. As I write down my thoughts, the question of how's and why's, slowly I remember everything that happened 15 years ago. I clearly remember the thoughts I had, the decisions I made and how I ghosted him. Circa 2009. 4th year college. I have a guy friend who's my classmate during 3rd year since we were block section. He's also my block groupmate. Maybe we became close because we were together most of the times. He's tall, lanky, sweet, caring, funny and brainy. He's the type of guy who only bring a notebook in the room, I never saw him with a bag in normal schedule of classes but hey he always pass. And as a cheapskate college girl, I used to take down notes and do everything as I can to not spend extra penny. I become aware of him being sweet to me by borrowing my notes saying she can understand my handwriting, sitting beside me on classes where sitting position is not required, going to library doing group activities, walking side by side in school aisle and seeing him giving me a sweet smile. Getting him caught staring at me then he will just smile mirorring his eyes. It seems like normal things right? But I can sense there is something behind those small gestures. I also shared this to my friend that I can sense there is something about him but he never confirm anything at all. He was never even bothered when he knew one of my girl friends told him she had a crush on him. I got a little jealous during that time, I even got jealous on her friends that were beauties during college days. He was a friendly guy but knows how to be a gentleman. Since, no admission of feelings in his part we continued to be good friends, him still giving the same care and treatment to me. I can't remember if it was 2nd trimester when we had our retreat activity. It was months also before our graduation day and then after that will have our in-house review for upcoming board examination. Everyone is excited to attend the retreat because we can give a rest on our tired minds. We rented a good place with a perfect weather during that time. During our last day, the last task given to us is write a letter to each person in your group. He was my groupmate during the retreat. We can read the letter after the activity or if we have time to spare. I decided to read mine when I got home. Me and him are still good during that time. When I arrived home, I started reading their letter, I read his letter last. His letter goes like this,
A_____, " I have met you on a cloudy Monday and now you never knew how much I loved the rain." Your a gentle child and very sincere. You are very concern to all the people around you and thats what make you different from others. You can carry things up and I know you can make it. Goodluck and Godbless. I am just on yourside waiting for you to tap me and call my name.
I'm shocked yet relieved knowing that what he's doing towards me is confirmed in his letter. It might be a indirect confirmation but I think it still says so. I'm happy to know he's not just a friend caring for me but someone special who took care of me all this time. But as my happiness took over me, that feeling of anxiousness and cowardice envelops my entire body. Confessing his feelings, then now, what? What will happen in our friendship? How do I face him, as I am shy girl before? If I tell him I like him too, what will happen to us? Graduation day is in the corner, inhouse review is giving us pressure, licensure examination will happen in next few months and I need to focus, to study to pass the exam. Those were my concerns at that time. So, I made up my mind. Without giving him any answer, without telling him what I have in my mind, without him knowing what I really wanted to say despite the concerns I had in mind. I let him go without telling him what I feel towards him that time. Following days at school, I started avoiding him. I dare not to look at him directly in his eyes. I never got to talk to him about his letter. And as days passes by giving him same treatment and distance, I saw him once looking at me, his eyes saying like giving up. From then on, our friendship drifted off. I never got to talk to him in our graduation day, even in succeding events after our licensure exam. I did pass my licensure, he also did. I'm not expecting he will talk to me or greet me if ever we crossed our path again. He was my first love. But I never give him the chance. There might be a future for our relationship but I never gave him a chance. To my lovecrush, I am sorry for ghosting you, for not giving you a chance, and for leaving you hanging-up. I know I'm a big coward, selfish, self centered and faint hearted person when it comes to you. Confessing and telling you what my heart wants before will NOT/NEVER change anything now. But I wanted to say this for me to let go of the feelings that I still have for you. Lovecrush, I like you too. I care for you too. I did become a scaredy cat before telling you my true feelings are but know that after all those days knowing you like me too, I always think of you. The heartbeak I give to myself and to you, left me no choice but to suppress the pain and convince myself to forget the painful choice I made. Thank you for letting me feel how special I am in my own way. Thank you for being my green flag.❤️ Thank you for being warm, caring, thoughtful and loving friend.🥰 Now, I will never ever forget the memories we shared before even if it brings joy and pain. It is now my treasure. Thank you so much lovecrush. You will always be my first love and first heartache.🙂 I know you can make it in life. You're such a kind hearted soul. Wishin you all the best in life! Takecare as always. Godbless!🙏❤️

Ex (very conservative Christian) sharing about how the new guy she is meeting is asking her about whether she is virgin, her sex life and all. After our breakup, I tried to cut all contacts with her but she insists on remaining friends. However these messages from her where she tells me about these conversations just makes me mad. I still feel for her, care a lot about her and wouldn't want her to be exploited in any sense.
Background info - we broke up because she wanted me to convert to Christianity and I was adamant on not converting. Since her family wouldn't accept a Hindu we decided to part ways
What's the best way forward. I want to cut ties with her because I just cant stomach these conversations which she forwards to me and how men are hitting on her. At the same time I don't want people to take advantage of her. She is very innocent and kind hearted. My friends say that she is toying with me but I know her better and wouldn't want to believe their characterisation of her.
Please help :-(

For years I have helped my sister and have been nothing short of the best brother imaginable. If she needed anything I was the one to help her - whether it was staying overnight with her at the hospital when she had pneumonia (risking getting sick myself), introducing her to my friends to help her with everything I couldn't do, going shopping for her buying her anything she wanted, helping her get multiple jobs, and more.
Fast forward to now. I am stuck working for my parents in a job that she knows I hate and that she could easily help me escape by asking her friends to help me. She refuses to do so because she is afraid I might embarrass her or some other odd excuse.
She has been working at her current company for over 10 years, first as a contractor and overcoming huge odds and becoming a full time employee. Due to a massive reorg she almost lost her job, but by some miracle she was given another job. According to her, her boss is toxic and that she fears that she's going to get fired every day which I know is utter BS. The reality is that her boss is simply giving her work and my sister is too lazy to learn how to do it.
She has successfully convinced my mom that her boss is bad and she should be the boss instead (which is beyond insane on countless levels) while when I had career difficulties, my parents constantly gave me bad advice which either got me fired and in some cases banned from talking to people at that those companies - even though when I shared my scenarios with an attorney, all of them said I had a right to sue and would have won multiple wrongful termination lawsuits.
So... I do feel a little bad for my sister, but I am actually a little happy to hear that she may finally manage to be fired for once, even though she has been a sub-par employee at multiple companies prior to this.
AITAH for feeling this way?

It’s new (mini) set time and time for warlock, druid or rogue to break the game again. This time, Druid got left behind.
While glare is the new big kid on the block, the deck is preying on a meta that had a 35% of renathal decks before the miniset, and as that number go down and to a new equilibrium, i expect the deck will stabilize around a reasonable power level (i wouldn’t mind crystallizer to get deleted though so we can finally play questless glare like our Lord intended). Meanwhile, the meta shifts around make for a lot of decks becoming suddendly playable. Handbuff paladin, more reach based aggro and ice block decks even with a worse wincon than warp since tech is very hard to play in a glare meta. So anyway, after tuning some glare lists (strictly questless) i started trying some other things. This is my first attempt at a deck that has a decent position in the new meta Secret Arcane Hunter, also known as Custom Warlock 2:
2 x Arcane Shot 2 x Costumed Singer 2 x Ricochet Shot 2 x Shimmer Shot 2 x Trinket Tracker 2 x Bargain Bin 2 x Hidden Meaning 2 x Mad Scientist 2 x Silvermoon Farstrider 2 x ZOMBEES!!! 2 x Celestial Shot 1 x Cloaked Huntress 1 x Halduron Brightwing 2 x Eversong Portal 1 x Rinling Rifle 1 x Beastalker Tavish 2 x Starstrung Bow
No code cause i can’t copy it atm (i’m on my work pc, for my lawyer, this is a joke). The idea behind the deck is pretty simple: Early game play some minions, get some secrets up, and then lategame finish with buffed reach + bow. This deck can work because of an ok glare matchup (especially the more aggro 30 versions) and because it farm one of the popular glare counters (sorc mage, at least until they play performers and then you cri ev3rytime ). Some card choiches explanation: The arcane package without conjuring arrow: i don’t think we need the extra draw in this format, especially turn 6+. You get your secrets pretty consistently between singer and scientist, and then your secrets draw your bows and extra cards. This package has two purposes: it is reach vs glare and slower decks, and it’s board control vs aggro. It’s in fact the only way you win the aggro matchup, by getting early farstriders/haldurons into portal/ricochet. The secret package: the secrets i’m playing here are imho by far the best 6 you can play. You can tell they’re good because it’s not a warcrime to spend mana on them. Turn 2 bees contest a lot of aggro plays, turn 2 meaning is often a 3 drop with charge, and turn 2 bin is swindle without the combo requirement (don’t play it on 2 though, always tempo king). 6 secrets, 2 Singers and 2 Scientist feel perfect as a package. It’s good enough to make your bow cheap later on, it doesn’t dilute ur draw with too many secrets early on and both the tutors are acceptable as tempo plays as well (revert singer cowards). Rinling Rifle: the third weapon to improve bin, as well to discount your bows and get additional utility. I’ve liked it quite a bit. Tavish: generally good against a lot of things, plus gives you secrets. No Product 9: this feels instinctively a tad too slow to me. On turn 5 you may have easily only triggered a single secret, more often two, and two secrets that your opponent know of plus a 4/4 doesn’t look like premium to me. It would be much more interesting in a reno shell, where you get to the lategame more consistently and as such this could be a huge bomb, but in an aggro shell? Doubt. I’d rather play a single Huntress over it as the three-drop slot is a thin.
The mulligan: In general always keep the 1 drops into a curve, don’t keep secrets or cards that cost 4+ (rare exception, being on coin and having triple secret/double secret and singer + huntress is prob a keep). Keep farstrider vs aggro and try to toss everything into arcane spells (trinker tracker also ok obviously) to clear their early boards. What does it work against: - Glare is ok. Good reach. This matchup get worse the higher you go up on ladder. Quad digit glare is free. Triple digit is favored. Double digit is even-ish. High legend is unfavored but who cares. - Slow-ish decks are mostly ok. - Combo mages and druids (there are some dorian combos around) are usually free with the secrets combined with the pressure. What it does not work against: - Aggro me dood. These matchup are about early arcane package (farstrider into ricochet/eversong) to prevent snowballing and then hopefully you can race them. You can’t really stabilize here, they’re bad and drifter is ur worst enemy. - Huhunter. They usually kill a bit faster than you do. This is bad-ish, not terrible. - Handbuff pally with lot of heal. Healing is cheat! Bad healing! Bad! Sit down!
I’ve climbed pretty consistently with this but again can’t check stats as i’m on the move and i play only on phone. It has been feeling good and it’s something a bit different than what i’ve been playing lately. Hope you guys don’t play hearthstone and go outside this weekend.

Some background: He's (21M) my (21F) coworker. We've been working together since June of last year but didn't really start talking to each other until September. We were hitting it off during the fall but didn't get the chance to work together as much during the spring due to scheduling changes. I definitely liked him first. I'm honestly not sure what I did to get him to like me back; I'm not particularly good at flirting at all. I guess I just annoyed him enough that I eventually started to grow on him. He's always asking me how I'm doing and how school's going. He goes out of his way to start a conversation with me. We have our little inside jokes; he's always teasing me about how aggressive I am. I've caught him looking at me several times.
Anyway, now that the school year is over, he's going to be doing an internship in another state for the next three months. I, on the other hand, am working on finding a new job so that I can move out. Suffice it to say, I'll probably be gone by the time he comes back to work in the fall. So, I decided to message him via our work communication app and ask for his contact information. I would have asked him in person, but our workplace only releases the schedule week-by-week, and it's not always consistent each week, so I didn't know that our last shift together (on May 5) would be our last 😔. This is a part-time job comprised mostly of high school and college students, so it's not like dating a coworker would risk my career or anything, and like I said, I'm planning on quitting anyway. What I said was this: "Hey, do you have Instagram or Snapchat or a phone number or something? Since I probably won't be working here by the time you come back in the fall. Idk just in case we never see each other again 😅".
I'm so scared. I was literally trembling as I sent the message. That was about six and a half hours ago; it's nearly 4 am now, so he's definitely not responding until morning. Was I too forward? Guys like it when girls make the first move, don't they? Did I make the right decision? I mean the worst he can say is no, right? Or, I guess, leave me on read, in this case. I'm worried I might be bothering him during finals week, although I think nearly everyone's finals are over at this point. I know he's a super busy guy; if he doesn't get back to me right away, I understand. I just couldn't hold back any longer; I was worried he'd stop looking at our work app over the summer and I'd lose my chance forever.
I'm also worried that he thinks I lost interest in him. I feel like I was bolder when talking to him during the fall, but these past few months I've been kind of shy around him since we hardly see each other anymore. Sometimes my mind just goes blank around him. I'm able to socialize with my other coworkers really easily because I'm not attracted to any of them, but when it's just us one-on-one my brain is just like "Oh my god, cute guy!" and turns to mush and I forget how to speak. Most of the time he's the one initiating the conversations and I feel bad. But I don't know, maybe I'm just overthinking things.
Lastly, I'm worried he might think less of me now that I've dropped out of college. I told him during our last shift together that I had dropped out about a month ago, and the way he reacted seemed a bit judgmental. I don't think he meant to be judgmental, though; I think he just had no idea what to say. Or maybe I'm just hypersensitive to criticism, I don't know. I didn't want to go into the personal reasons (mental health and family stuff) behind why I decided to drop out (although I think he can kind of tell something's up), so I'm worried he just thinks I'm lazy and a quitter. It doesn't help that I tend to goof off and socialize a lot during work; not to the point where I'm not doing my job, but enough that it's clear I'm definitely not the hardest worker there. He, on the other hand, is super conscientious about his work; he has a great work ethic, which I admire. I think we just view work in different ways. I'm never going to slack off so much that I'm hurting my coworkers, but I'm also not going to put in maximum effort for a corporation that doesn't even pay me a living wage. I'm just worried that he sees the way I act at work and thinks of me as this ditzy dumbass when I'm so much more than that.
I've never actually been in a relationship, but I have had quite a few crushes, and I can say without a doubt he's the biggest crush I've ever had. I know everyone views their crush through rose-colored glasses, and while I know he's not perfect, this man is seriously a walking green flag. He's so smart, handsome, and funny. He's the sweetest guy; I don't think he has a mean bone in his body. He's always trying to cheer me up whenever I'm down. He's effortlessly kind to everyone and goes out of his way to help people. Did I mention we work at a movie theater? Well, during the worst shift of my life, two weeks after Barbenheimer (fun for audiences, but absolute madness for movie theater employees), I was stuck working the concessions stand completely alone on a Saturday night (usually we would have three to four employees on such a busy night). It was chaos; literally a nonstop line for at least an hour and a half, with absolutely no help from my managers (until I had a mini mental breakdown later that night, but I digress). Anyway, my crush was literally the only one who helped me prior to my mini mental breakdown. He was working as an usher that night (one of the people who cleans the theaters after each movie) and stayed ten minutes past the end of his shift to help me make popcorn and restock the concessions stand. He didn't have to do that. Our managers worked us like dogs that summer; most people would have been out of there the moment their shift ended. But not him. This was before we had even started talking, definitely before he started reciprocating feelings. There was no ulterior motive here. He just saw a coworker struggling and decided to go out of his way to help, with no benefit to himself. Because that's just the type of person he is. And that might seem like a small thing to you guys, but I feel like genuine kindness is so rare these days. I feel it's such a dog-eat-dog world out there; seems like we're all becoming more and more individualistic, and that everyone is only looking out for themselves. I don't know, I just hear horror stories about shitty guys all the time, and he just seems different.
I'm just terrified of the response (or lack thereof) I'm going to wake up to in the morning. Because even if he does give me his number, what then? There's been this unspoken chemistry and connection between us for months now. One of us has to confess our feelings, right? Will it be me? Will it be him? Will either of us have the guts to do it? It's our last chance. It's now or never. And I feel like maybe I'm not in the best place in my life for a relationship... but are any of us ever truly ready for one? I couldn't help falling for him when I did. I just feel like if I don't take that risk and confess my feelings to him now, I'm going to regret it for the rest of my life. And even if he rejects me, or we try dating and it doesn't work out, at least I can say I tried. The pain of rejection is nothing compared to the pain of regret, right?
I just need some reassurance and support. Someone tell me I made the right decision. And wish me luck 😅

Hey all, it's been a dream to go to a City game since I was a kid and now I can afford it I want to see the match where we potentially win the league, if anyone is selling cheap(ish) tickets for the game or could put something forward for me that would be ace.
All the best

So I felt I really needed to vent about this because it had reached the limits of my patience with my mom’s control tactics.
Ever since I can remember, my mom has been the greatest control freak wanting everything in the house to be done her way, including the clothes everyone wears, where we go on vacation, even what we eat for dinner every day etc. My dad simply rolls over and lets her get her way all the time.
As far as family finances go, we are an upper middle class family but things really took a negative turn when some 20 years ago, my mom became part of an evangelical US-inspired megachurch that requires members to give tithes and offerings “to secure God’s blessings”. She has given away most of her life savings as well as my dad’s savings to this church. The church pastor and his wife live in a mansion and own a fleet of around 30 luxury vehicles like rolls Royce, Bentley, etc. All this in a country where the cost of just one of those cars can probably une average family for 2-3 years. And in addition, every second month the senior women’s leadership team goes on a prayer retreat in a 5 star resort in a new location in the world each time. The trips are self funded and they fly first class. My mom participates in these retreats each time. As things stand today, my parents have no savings whatsoever. They are heavily in debt but my mom continues to spend approximately $150,000 each year on this church in offerings, retreats, etc.
When my three older siblings started working, she demanded that they directly pay their salaries into her account and she gives them allowance from it. This only changed when the oldest two got married, but she still finds ways to extract leverage and control like requesting parental maintenance etc. All my siblings are miserable and unhappy and none of them are in a good financial position despite having decent jobs.
When my dad retired a few years ago, I was just about to go off to university overseas and he basically transferred a big portion of his retirement money to me to pay for my entire studies start to finish. He basically told me that I am the last hope of the family and that I should try to settle my life overseas and not return for fear of living the same fate as my siblings.
Fast forward to now, my parents finances are in extremely bad shape. My dad has retired, so they only have moms income and parental maintenance from older siblings. They cannot even afford to fix their cars anymore and are struggling to stay on top of medical insurance payments and other things. But my mom’s financial commitment to her church remains the same.
I recently started working abroad and when I called to inform my parents, the first thing she asked me about was the salary. I lied and told her an amount that is 60% of the real amount. I feel really guilty but I had no choice. She immediately started to tell me how much I should send her each month and how much I should give to the church back home. And added that she will inform the pastor to expect my contributions. She has even asked me to take out a massive loan and transfer the money to her account back home.
So far I have yet to send anything. And she is guilt tripping so hard saying things like how I’m abandoning the family, or that I don’t love God etc.
I am absolutely torn because on the one hand, I am lucky enough to have gotten the best education thanks to them and their sacrifices. However, i don’t believe that giving them money will help them in any way, given that my mom is likely to squander most of it.