Context clues paragraph

For context, I JUST purchased my first home about a month ago. My only affordable option was a trailer in a park and I honestly really like it! The trailer is nice, most neighbors are very cool, the community manager is very friendly, and all the homes and yards are very well kept. However since moving in I've been consistently harassed by kids in the park and I have no clue who they are or what families they belong to. It started with them yelling homophobic remarks at my partner and I any time they saw either of us walking to our cars, mailbox etc. Nothing that bad, just generally annoying. Then they started flipping the side mirrors on my car all the way out, again harmless, but getting more annoying, like pls don't touch my shit 😂 .Just the other day though my partner was walking to his car and noticed that it was absolutely covered in poorly drawn cocks,,, and boobs,, and vaginas,,, which wouldn't be that bad if they weren't scratched deep into the fucking paint 😭 I literally don't know what to do and I don't want something like this to happen again, I cant afford to get it professionally fixed, insurance didnt cover it, we did the best we could to buff it out but its still unfortunately very visible and we have probably become the laughing stock of the neighborhood in approximately 1 month of living here : I put up a security camera, filed a police report and contacted the community office but obviously not much could be done. Does anyone have any other suggestions for solving this? I literally JUST moved and I wont be able to afford to move again for quite a while, this just kinda sucks, looking for any ideas to prevent this kind of thing from continuing, I plan to stay here for at least 10 years and I would hate for it to be living hell the entire time, I have never been more excited in my life than I was to own this lil place I could call my own and now im terrified of being stuck here over some dumbass kids 🙄

This is a really long story but I’ve been so desperate to just tell it from start to finish so thank you in advance if you make it all the way through.
To provide context to the rest of the story, I (22f) was in a very bad, very controlling relationship for three years. Near to the start of this relationship, I worked at an escape room where I met an awesome group of people and we started to play DND together – DM’d by the guy who ended up becoming my best friend, we'll call him Brad (23m). My ex got worse over time in various ways, but one of which was his jealousy which seemed to focus on Brad. Every time that I would go to DND I would have to remind my ex that Brad was already in a relationship with his long-time partner, Bella, and therefore he did not have feelings for me. This came up constantly and was always a fight.
It was incredibly difficult to escape, but with the support of my three closest friends, Jenna (23f), Millie (26f), and Brad, eventually I got out. I moved back in with my mum, but I was in a very bad mental state at the time and would do everything in my power not to be alone. For this reason, I would have sleepovers at all my close friends’ houses as often as I could – sleeping in Brad and Bella’s closet when I would stay at theirs. I did become closer with all of the other members of my DND group too (there were 7 of us in total) but for the purposes of keeping things simple I will focus on these four. I leaned on these friendships hard. All my friendships had been so monitored and controlled for years before this and I was so excited to be a normal adult finally. For about six months, life was amazing.
It was some time around October that I met my now partner (22m) and we started to form a relationship. He was kind and funny and I was so excited to share it with all my friends. Brad always seemed apprehensive about it, but I figured that was just because of my previous relationship. It was also around this time that Brad started struggling with something but wouldn’t share what. Jenna and I genuinely theorised that he was terminally ill with the way that he was acting. One night, I had driven Brad home from work, and I used the opportunity to ask about it because everyone was really worried. After a bit of coaxing, he told me that he thought that he was polyamorous. He had been with Bella for about five years at this point and he was worried by revealing this to her that he would destroy their relationship. He said that aside from his therapist, I was the first person that he had told and asked me not to tell anyone, which I obviously agreed to. Eventually he told her, and they told the group together, and said that they were going to make it work.
It was about December now, and I moved jobs and fell into a depressive episode. I stopped seeing my friends very much at all, and at the worse of it I had made an attempt at my life. My partner was amazing through this considering how little time we had been together, and not long after I started to get help and rebuild. When I tried to rejoin DND, everything felt different. Brad was suddenly talking over me when my character would try to speak up, wouldn’t have NPCs speak to my character, and really he would hardly look at me. I had tried to meet up with Jenna, Millie, and Brad, to tell them about what had happened with me during my episode, but Brad blew me off every time. I was so stressed that I had done something wrong, but I couldn’t figure out what since I had been away for the past couple of months.
Finally, shit really hit the fan in May at Millie’s wedding. I was standing with Bella while she told the story about her and Brad working out polyamory, and in telling the story she said that she had been the first person that he had told. This threw me for a loop, since I knew that he had told me first, and it massively irked me that he had hid that from her. I left the conversation to find Jenna to tell her, to which she took me aside and told me that Brad had been in love with me for a while now, and I had caused a lot of issues in his and Bella’s relationship. I felt awful for the rest of the wedding and sat on the cold street to vent this all to my partner.
I went to a few DND sessions after that, but I felt so self-conscious about the arguments that I had apparently caused between two friends, and since Brad was basically ignoring me in the sessions anyway, I decided one day to send a short and sweet message to the group thanking them for the years of fun, but that I would be dropping out for now.
My first regret was, when Brad pressed about why I had left, softening the blow as much as possible. I did tell him that I knew about his feelings, but I said that I was mainly leaving for my mental health, which was not true as I was in a much better spot at this point. He was very angry at Jenna for telling me, but otherwise the conversation was fairly civil. He apologised, gave me more context, explained that that was why he had been distant, confirmed that I had been a big issue in his and Bella’s relationship, and explained that I was the reason that he had figured out that he was polyamorous – I expect from me staying over at their house so often. Finally, he told me that I would be welcome back to DND at any time. I said that I was frustrated that he hadn’t spoken to me like an adult because I just thought that he had hated me, and he said that I was just a complicated situation. He also told me not to tell anyone about any of it, but especially Bella that we had had that conversation as he wanted to be the one to do it. Fine. I was upset, but I still figured that I would be able to return to the group at that point.
Months pass, and I haven’t been to any group events for a combination of reasons. I feel too uncomfortable to face Brad and Bella, I figure that removing myself from the situation is the kindest thing to do to give them space, and since I can’t tell anyone else about what happened, I feel socially a bit isolated. No worries, I can rejoin the group again when I feel comfortable, right? I have Millie over one day and she asks why I left. After a bit of back and forth, I think that she knows some level of what happened, but more than that I am just desperate to get this off my chest, so I give a brief, sympathetic overview of the situation. She is an amazing listening ear, which was exactly what I needed because this had been eating me away, and she is very mature when I ask this to not affect her relationship with him. Little did I know that I had just thrown a match into a powder keg.
I’m not totally clear on what happened, but basically Brad hadn’t told Bella that we had had a conversation. Millie accidentally revealed that I had told her, and Bella (rightfully so honestly) was furious with Brad, who then was furious at me for telling Millie. In this second conversation with him, I explained that I had thought that Millie had known to a degree anyway. He kept going on about how much of an impact this had made to his and Bella’s relationship, and I got frustrated and explained that they were actually the sole reason that I had left the group when I did, and it had had a massive impact on me too. He got apologetic, but in retrospect I think it was just trying to tide me over. He told me that Bella was uncomfortable when he and I were in a room together, which put the final nail in the coffin for my hopes to ever return to the group. He still swung the conversation back around to how hard it had all been for them and ended the conversation with a long list of Bella’s insecurities. In retrospect, this was a bit random and I’m not sure why he did that. In any case, I responded with a big paragraph refuting each of her insecurities one by one and talking about how great she is. I wish that I had just sent this message straight to her, as honestly, I doubt, she would have ever seen it.
So now we’ve had two conversations, and I don’t see any way that I can return to the group. Months later again, and I see them for the first time at a Halloween party. I had made a great new group of friends at this party, and given the history, I thought that it was fairly reasonable not to go up and have a chat with them. At one point, I am talking with someone when Brad walks up, without Bella, and says hi to me. Maybe I was petty, but considering Bella wasn’t even there and one of the last things that he had told me was that Bella was uncomfortable when he and I were in a room together, I wasn’t particularly excited to chat. I just said a cordial hi, stayed in the conversation for a minute longer, and then migrated away.
Honestly, I hadn’t even thought twice about this. By this point, I hadn’t seen Jenna for maybe six months, and the rest of the DND group for even longer. The only one who I’ve stayed in contact with is Millie. One day, I ask Millie out for coffee, and about halfway through she has this look of realisation pass her face. She tells me that “she thought I knew” and that was why I had asked her out for coffee. Knew what? Well apparently, Brad and Bella had organised basically a formal meeting with the whole friend group to tell them what had happened with me on that night. Obviously, they had not told me. Millie is amazing and relays to me what happens at the meeting which thankfully is fairly true, but there are two points that irk me. One is that it is entirely “woe is them” focussed, as if I didn’t lose all of my friends, and two is that Brad makes a remark that he thinks that I knew the whole time that he had feeling for me and that I wasn’t just innocent and naive. This is infuriating for me for reasons that I will get to. What actually breaks my heart is that apparently Jenna got up at the meeting and apologised to everyone for telling me in the first place. After that, I had two more people from the group reach out and reconnect, but not everyone and not Jenna.
This all started in July of 2022, and it’s now May of 2024, so I’m largely over it, but here are some of my feelings on the matter. One, I know that I am non-confrontational, and as much as it was initially supposed to be a kindness, I do think there was an element of running away from my problems. Two, my family and close friends kept telling me that I should send screenshots of everything to group chats or tell everyone my perspective. I think that more than anything, I had already lost everyone, and I really didn’t want to turn the group against each other. I think that would have been vindictive and petty and not me. Three, maybe I should have seen the signs that he had feelings for me earlier on, and I feel a lot of guilt about that. However, I had the exact same relationship with him as I did with Millie and Jenna, and I’ve always been of the belief that males and females can absolutely be friends. Maybe my relationships with Millie and Jenna were too close too, but after having been socially isolated for three years I suppose I was and still am hazy about where the boundaries lie. To be so clear, though, nothing ever actually happened. The best clue that I can recall was when he would say I love you man, but that’s the kind of thing that we all said to each other. Otherwise, as far as I was aware, we were just really close friends. Furthermore, I had also just come out of a long-term relationship, where I was frequently convincing my ex that Brad did not have feelings for me. I never told anyone that part because I didn’t want Brad to blame himself, but now that I’ve found out I was wrong, I’ve been going down a spiral about what else my ex may have been right about and what other behaviours he had that may have been justified. I digress. I’ve mourned the loss of my friends and support network more times than I can count, and I am aware that I could have fought to stay in the group and Brad isn’t entirely to blame for that, but it does really frustrate me that, as was clear in the board meeting he and Bella held about me, what I have been through does not seem to even cross their minds. Brad was supposed to have been my best friend. Although, now I can’t help but feel like he, intentionally or not, saw me at a vulnerable point and took advantage of it to get inappropriately close to me, and we were never really “best friends”. If I could erase our entire friendship, I would in a heartbeat. At least then I would still have the rest of my friends. I am open to hearing what people have to say, but as far as I am aware my only crime was being naïve. There are honestly so many more details but this post is already obscenely long. My final note is that my partner is the real MVP as he probably heard me vent and cry about this two dozen times and supported me through all of it. Thank you so much for reading if you made it this far.

My whole cohort is on average failing our english, we're at an average of 43% in our unit 3 so its not just a me issue as i'm also not doing too hot and I'm wondering how I take my essays up to better than average. So far this is the structure I've used a structure of:
Introduction - text author genre publish date, context sentence, contention, ideas/arguments
Body paragraphs - Topic sentence (no mention of direct characters or events), Giving context on the argument, some evidence, elaboration and explaining why it matters and the authors intentions, linking back and doing that a few more time.
Conclusions: Mentioning text, author and contention again, summarising my arguments and trying my best to resolve the prompt.
Right now we're studying We have always lived in the castle so my openings look like:
We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson is a gothic literature novel published in 1962. The protagonists, the Blackwood sisters, traverse a world where they seek little agency within their confinement to the Blackwood estate. Jackson displays how property serves to confine and limit individuals; however, Jackson also presents the limited security that being connected to a property can give you. Shirley Jackson portrays this through the ideas of agoraphobia and its confinement of individuals, class alienation in accordance to wealth disparity and seeking to find agency through coping mechanisms alike to gardening and magic.
I will admit that the last argument doesn't feel fully fleshed out and will admit that its not a full essay so you can't get an actual grasp on my writing but do you have any structures you use and find helpful or any sample essays on this topic, i haven't been able to find anything. (I may or may not have the exam this upcoming Monday as well... edited a small spelling mistake lol)

Hello reddit, first post on this sub and it is a juicy one!
I just played a session, literally finished like two hours ago, and I am still clutching my head because of this, it is INSANE.
For starters, let me give you some context. Our party consists of four players, but for the purposes of this story, you only need to know about my character, since she is the most involved in this fiasco. She is a drow warlock, her name is Ophellia, she doesn't know who her patron is and her patron has not communicated with her at all pretty much since she first got her powers as a child, and she is a very grumpy standoffish lady. Our story takes place on a continent called Areth, and since coming her, Ophellia's patron has spoken up for the first time in about a century, giving her the quest of going to this mountain which our party found out, through visions given to us by a massive homebrew monster called the nightmare, has a massive fuck off dragon locked inside it.
So what happened. We reached this mountain after several arcs leading purely to this. We go inside, stuff happens (not too relevant here), and we find the chamber where the dragon should hypothetically be. Instead, inside, we find a corpse. And Ophellia recognises this corpse.
Something else I haven't told you about this campaign, is that it is based off of a book that my bf (the DM) is writing. In this book, a man by the name of Valefar is involved in a massive rebellion against an immortal dictator queen, and one of the people working for this queen is Ethelric/Darksky, a man who can shapeshift into a dragon (and the dragon we were sent to the mountian to investigate). In the book, Valefar dies after trapping Ethelric in the mountain, because Ethelric is effectively immortal, so this was their only solution. In the context of this campaign, this happened a couple centuries ago, and essentially no one knows about it. I thought Valefar'd death wasn't canon in the campaign, BECAUSE HE IS ALIVE DURING IT.
In the campaign, Ophellia knows Valefar. She trained with him, until she had a big falling out with the group he was a part of (the messengers). She is looking for these messengers (because she is a mean lady who likes to hold a grudge), and last I heard, a couple months ago, Valefar was prancing around an area of the continent called the Wastelands. So, he was VERY MUCH ALIVE.
AGAIN, Ethelric being trapped in this mountain and Valefar's death happened CENTURIES AGO. I don't know what any of this means. I am worried. I am scared. So many of my previous theories have now been burned to ash. My bf wont give me any clues apart from cryptic weird bullshit. I am so excited for next session. I cannot contain myself and will be thinking about this for the foreseeable future. I will be insufferable.
So that's that. The session ended with the dragon Darksky, who was in the room all along, burried under some rubble, opening his eye and staring at us. Is he evil? Possibly. Could he kill us? Easily. Are people telling us to not release him from his mountain prison ever under any circumstance? Certainly.
Am I still probably going to release him? Well I certainly want to. He is cool and he is my pookie - and we accept any wrongs a hot dragon man NPC may have done. I will defend him with my life.

Because if she does suspect I’m gay. I think I’ll come out to her. I’m a gay male 31. And I have a close friend over the internet. She’s around my age and she is also homosexual. I’ve been in the closet my whole life and I’ve been seriously considering coming out to her lately. But I’m afraid and. Well. If she doesn’t suspect it I don’t want to do it. I have a feeling she’s got a pretty good grasp on things but idk.
I’ve always played it off as straight and women are still beautiful so I’ve always kind of vibed with her, sharing pictures of girls.
However accidentally some allegations were made once that I was gay cause I sent a message in two parts 😅 (it basically was responding to me asking her if she ever slept with men. And I said I know I have. I haven’t though haha.) Anyways. We still kinda make jokes about it and we always have fun hanging out on discord.
Now this is all kind of going to be scattered timeline wise but… She’s always the caring type and picks me up when I’m down. And I’ve expressed to her I feel bad dropping my day on her. She’s told me that it’s always okay to talk to her about anything which kind of gave me a clue.
I definitely got a little obvious at times. I’ve asked her if she’d be surprised if I came out (jokingly sorta) and she said yes. She has reassured me time and time again she thinks I’m straight as I joke around with her being suspicious that I’m gay here and there. To be honest I’ve always had the feeling she was being nice and protecting my closeted identity. However ironically enough I’m dying for her to call me out. I just can’t seem to do it otherwise. It’s been hard to tell. I mean everyone I know irl believes I’m straight all this time.
Whole point to this. Do you guys think she’s aware that I’m Gay?
There’s definitely a lot more conversations that have gone on so if you want more context I can get it likely 😅

Because if she does suspect I’m gay. I think I’ll come out to her. I’m a gay male 31. And I have a close friend over the internet. She’s around my age and she is also homosexual. I’ve been in the closet my whole life and I’ve been seriously considering coming out to her lately. But I’m afraid and. Well. If she doesn’t suspect it I don’t want to do it. I have a feeling she’s got a pretty good grasp on things but idk.
I’ve always played it off as straight and women are still beautiful so I’ve always kind of vibed with her, sharing pictures of girls.
However accidentally some allegations were made once that I was gay cause I sent a message in two parts 😅 (it basically was responding to me asking her if she ever slept with men. And I said I know I have. I haven’t though haha.) Anyways. We still kinda make jokes about it and we always have fun hanging out on discord.
Now this is all kind of going to be scattered timeline wise but… She’s always the caring type and picks me up when I’m down. And I’ve expressed to her I feel bad dropping my day on her. She’s told me that it’s always okay to talk to her about anything which kind of gave me a clue.
I definitely got a little obvious at times. I’ve asked her if she’d be surprised if I came out (jokingly sorta) and she said yes. She has reassured me time and time again she thinks I’m straight as I joke around with her being suspicious that I’m gay here and there. To be honest I’ve always had the feeling she was being nice and protecting my closeted identity. However ironically enough I’m dying for her to call me out. I just can’t seem to do it otherwise. It’s been hard to tell. I mean everyone I know irl believes I’m straight all this time.
Whole point to this. Do you guys think she’s aware that I’m Gay?
There’s definitely a lot more conversations that have gone on so if you want more context I can get it likely 😅

I have to find a way to determine the format of a pdf document like its plain or having paragraphs or title-definition format etc. By knowing the format i can chunk the document efficiently without losing the context/semantics. Is there any way to do so?

Hi all UPN/Pre-Nursing people! I just wanted to write out some tips on how to look best on your NursingCAS applications for your goal starting semester. This is a pretty detailed guide with some good calculations to determine other scores beyond just the basic impaction score. This also provides some resources for your TEAs that I found most useful. This guide is directed towards those applying to SJSU especially those on the Pre-Nursing Track at SJSU.
Don't flop your first semester: It is true that the first semester of college has a learning curve, but it is still important that you stay focused and maintain a high GPA. For many this is the easiest semester, but don't be fooled English 1A or Chem30A/BIOL65 will bite you in the butt last second.
Aim for a high GPA not solely TEAs: As much as people brag about their TEAs scores a GPA at SJSU is much more important! If you have a 4.0 GPA and score lower on your TEAs you will have a way better shot at getting in. Take this for example: a person got 2 A- in 3 unit courses out of the big 8. This makes their cumulative GPA a 3.94 GPA. If this person applied to nursing against a person with a 4.0 this score is then doubled, for impaction. 8 compared to a 7.88. With 2 A-'s you now need to do better than 3.5% of whatever teas score the kid with a 4.0 got. Also keep in mind that SJSU already requires a 84% to even apply leaving a 16% playing field. If you get a 4.0 and a 84% a person with 3.94 needs to get a 87.5% on their teas!

• BE ADVISED EVERY SINGLE POINT COUNTS!
• Realistically you are okay and should not flip out with a 3.94 GPA to this is just being used as a clear example. Just remember that if you keep a high GPA that you are saving yourself a mental breakdown before taking a TEAs.
  • Be sure to get the extra points as well if you know you don't have perfect stats. This will greatly improve your odds at getting in, especially for Fall applicants.

Don't rely on comparing stats to AllNurses: This is a hot take, but hear me out; 60 kids get into SJSUs nursing program and maybe 10 people post their stats on AllNurses. I am throwing no shade saying this, but these are the people that are for the most part going to get in. Some claim to have 4.0 GPAs, 98 TEAs, 2000hrs of Healthcare experience, and co-reqs done too. Obviously they are going to get in but, that spot is now taken from a person bringing it down to 59 others. It is nice to have a comparison to, but unless more people post on it people are going to have skewed to the right opinions. There are tons of applicants and there are different groups of people apply. The overachievers, the average, and the prayers. Most people are average and do not have the crazy stats these people have. There are some people that do post stats that are more relevant to compare to such as a 4.0 with an 88% or something like that. Again this is highballing and it is important to really dig deep into who got accepted when using this platform. A 92% TEAs is what even the pre-nursing advisors and these guys want you to drop the major. Do realize that if you have a lower GPA you will need a higher TEAs. Doing this calculation [20(4-(current GPA))*3] will tell you what you need in comparison to a 4.0 GPA.

• Here is an example with a 3.8GPA [20(4-3.8)*3] = [20(.2)*3] = 4*3 = 12, this means (excluding extra points), you need to score at least a 96% if a kid with a 4.0 got a 84% on their TEAs.
  • For understanding the 20 comes from the calculation 10 (to make the solution a whole number) multiplied by 2 (because the GPA is multiplied by two in the impaction score calculation) and the 3 comes from the fact each .1 of a GPA equates to 3% of a persons TEAs score (1/30 = .033333*3 = .1). The 20 contains the multiplication factor of 2 already so we don't need to multiply 3 by 2 as well.

The minimum GPA and TEAs: Yes it is true that if you do have a pretty poor GPA (3.3-3.4) and don't have the TEAs to make up for it then it is probably unlikely you will get into the program. But, at this campus the stats are never posted for who gets in and during which semester. Recently SJSU raised their TEAs from a 78% all the way up to a required 84% which to me is crazy high! I assume this is to cut down the amount of applicants and in turn this makes the TEAs pretty irrelevant to the total stats. With only a 16% max gap, now any person who is able to apply to nursing must have at least that score making the GPA that much more important. If you have a 3.9 GPA and a 94 on your teas, a person with a 3.8 will still get outcompeted regardless of TEAs score. This is most likely why the GPA was lowered for nursing and is now a 3.3 instead the previous 3.4 because some kids may have done well in the GPA aspect and messed up their TEAs. Aim for a higher GPA but do realize that a lot of kids do manage to get really good GPAs that correlate with good TEAs scores. Get a good GPA, 3.8 and above is pretty good, a 3.9+ is quality work for both Fall and Spring semesters, and make sure to aim for higher than the TEAs threshold.Nursing advisors deter people from applying but, it is accurate that as of Fall 2024 that you have to be at the top to get in. Keep in mind that there are 500+ applicants and only 60 get in that is only 12% of the applicant pool. You need to aim for the 80th percentile at the minimum to be on the waitlist first round (beating 400 other applicants)
TEAs Test: Now I know I have talked a lot about the importance of the GPA, but regardless you still do want to do well on the TEAs. Your TEAs score, like I talked about above, is directly related to your GPA. If you got a lower GPA you need a high TEAs and if you got a high GPA you can slack on the TEAs score. If you have a low GPA this will make or break the odds of getting in and every 3% on the test you get a .1 point increase. Going against what I think everyone I have ever talked to has said, for me personally I say take the TEAs online, if that is still an option. Not only can you take the test literally whatever day you want, you can also take it at whatever time of that day you selected as long as a proctor is available. Some argue that the they test better when in a school environment and this is valid, but I also test better in those environments and I bombed my first TEAs due to nerves. When I took it online the only stressors were if the test were to crash or the proctor flagged my exam for no reason, but neither of those happened not even close. The low stress of being at home and taking the test when I wanted to allowed for much better results and comfort. You get to finish the sections when you want. If you think you are done and don't want to triple check your answers to save the brainpower for later sections you get that option. Take the test where you think you will test best though and take these words with a grain of salt. I just wanted to say that the TEAs online is the same content as it is in person and at the leisure of your home. Not many people talk about how the TEAs online is positive for some people!
Get the extra points if you can: The extra points are pretty easy to get at SJSU especially as commuters. Of course nobody can make themselves a first generation student, but if you are that is easy free points and congrats. No one has a clue what SJSU gives as a "bump" to an applicants score and it is honestly only there because everyones stats are so similar so they need more tie breakers. Granted, you will most likely want to win the tie breaker and in order to do you have to at least have all the co-reqs done. I want to be straight up and say I think the vast majority of students have these all completed prior to applying for the Fall because you have an extra semester (maybe not Spring idk). So make sure to have these all completed so you are not left behind and waste an attempt in the SJSU applicant pool(unless you have great stats t or have healthcare hrs instead then just apply). You only have 2 attempts at applying to nursing at SJSU so make them count. If you can, there is also the healthcare hours bump. This is a bump isn't achieved by all applicants and could help if you have lower stats. Keep in mind that this usually involves volunteer work once a week for 4hr shifts so you will be wherever you choose to stay for about 6 months (decent time commitment with school). I've heard that the healthcare hrs are pretty lenient about what exactly you did as long as it is part of the healthcare field and you can get it signed. Of course if you already have had a health job within 3 years this is a free point bump too!
Spring semester isn't as easy to get into as it once was: SJSU changed this policy. In 2023 only transfer students can apply for SJSU fall semester cohorts, no longer accepting post-bacs. Whereas spring semester cohorts will accept post-bacs and no longer accept transfer students. This means that Fall semester likely is getting more difficult to get into as all transfer students have to apply for the same cohort. It is believed that the School accepts a bunch of SJSU students and after the initial acceptance everyone on the waitlist is combined meaning more transfers will get in from the waitlist process as they may not have made the original cut with the SJSU students bump. This would also mean there are less opportunities for SJSU students to get in during the spring cohort as they battle against stronger transfer candidates. As for transfers, in Fall there are more opportunities to get in as more are accepted initally and through the waitlist process. For post-bacs the same process is in place but, since the top UPN students (because they were following the exact track) were picked out for Fall stats could be a little lower. Regardless, Fall semester cohorts I would assume have slightly higher impaction scores from all areas that are applying as most students took their time throughout all the courses and UPN program students are all expected to apply for Fall semester. Take this all with a grain of salt since again there are no exact numbers of all that get accepted as transfers and post-bacs and if these numbers have increased because of this change.
Remember your overall GPA prior to applying does matter: Your overall GPA does matter when applying for nursing at SJSU! When it comes to tiebreakers if everything is the same - the gpa, the teas, and the extra points - the school will look at overall GPAs to decide who gets in. So make sure to get good grades in that moral issues class freshman year because it will come back to haunt you if you don't get in because of it.
Don't Break down!: It is easy to read all of this and think that you are screwed, but it is important to remember that many people are in the exact same situation. We are not all getting 4.0s and 92s on our teas like our advisors tell us we need. Expect A-'s and a B+. No stats are published and nobody knows for sure what you need but the advisors say people get "mostly a's". Aim for the highest impaction score that you can get and don't slack on it because literally that is what is determining if you get in or not.

• As a SJSU student you have 2 opportunities to get in, once in Fall (a little more difficult as most SJSU students are on track so there are more of you) and Spring (a little easier just because there are less Pre-Nursing majors applying). So if you don't get in for the Fall and your stats are good, you have a great chance in the Spring
  • PS if you do get declined for the Fall get all the extra bumps you can and if you still have one more TEAs opportunity, TAKE IT AGAIN! If you get waitlisted for Fall there is a really good chance you will get in for Spring as the people you were originally going against are gone.

Waitlist: If you get waitlisted it really is not the end of the world. Most schools send out acceptance letters in two waves one at the beginning/mid of April and at the end of April where people accept of decline their schools. SJSU keeps a long waitlist because a lot of people drop the school for more local schools/bigger name schools so never lose hope. I've heard stories of people being #70 on the waitlist and still getting in. (FYI you have to contact someone to check if you were waitlisted you will not get any notice of what is taking so long for your acceptance. only when you are on the waitlist can you contact staff about your placement. Staff will not tell you where you are if you are not emailed by Nursing that you are on the waitlist.)

• If you are immediately declined from the school, that means that currently they were unable to offer you a seat. However, this does not mean that you are out yet. The school has an original waitlist and if that gets ran though they create another backup waitlist in case more students drop in the summer. This contains around 12 more students and you could be apart of this group.

EXTRA Info:

• Nursing Apps open January 17th for Fall and August 17th for Spring and they both close on the 15th the following month
• If you are a current SJSU student you do not need to apply for SJSU again prior to applying
• However many units a course is will impact your GPA differently (more units means more of your GPA)
• You get about One Week to accept SJSU. SJSU is one of the latest schools to send out acceptance letters so be prepared to wait. 8 Weeks after the deadline is when acceptance letter should begin to roll out.
• Acceptances are sent out around April 10th for Fall and November 10th for Spring.

TEAs Studying TIPs:

• DM me if you want a google doc with TEAs information (it won't let me put it here) it provides, in my opinion, the best ways to study for the TEAs. For me personally I only received a 93.3 but, if I had realized how vital one of the sources before I took the test the next day, I would have performed even better! Please give this a look. If you dont want you I'll put the order of importance here without links
  • 1 Quizlets, #2 the ATI website, #3 Miscellaneous Prep Tests (I provide links in the doc), #4 PocketPrep

Application Assistance:

• Submit all documents separate from each other
• The application pool is Not Rolling meaning you can apply at any time before the deadline and still not be penalized
• Whatever work experience you have will not change the size of the score bump i.e a hospital volunteer will get the same size bump as a person with a CNA.
  • You also do not need any letters of recommendation and don't need to fill out any extra information on the NursingCAS website for SJSU specifically. They will not read any paragraphs that are not relevant to you getting accepted.
• AP credit does not affect the GPA it is solely for credit. If the AP course is not listed on your transcript then you must submit a form proving you passed the exam in the "other" section.
  • Make sure that all your documents that need to be there are there and they will be seen and accounted for. Regardless of where you put the documents the will show up on the application.
• Download you application prior to submitting your application (they will let you do this after you finished all the documents uploading and are preparing to finalize). Look over everything to ensure it's all correct.

I know this whole process is stressful and pretty terrifying, but everyone has a chance. This is just what I have learned throughout the whole process and hopefully it will help others that have 0 clue what is going on. Although some of this may make it seem like you need to have crazy high stats I am just trying to say do your best. If SJSU ever posts the stats for accepted applicants this would a be a different story. This is a CSU so unfortunately this application does follow the "a single number means everything" this means your impaction score is who you are; not necessarily how well rounded you may be. Good luck to all future nursing applicants and congrats.
"Congratulations! This email is to inform you of your provisional acceptance to The Valley Foundation School of Nursing at San José State University" Fall
You can DM if you have any questions.

hey guys, i'm here looking for advice as to what i should do with myself. the story is a little long so please bear with me. (i'm 20M)
i was 18 when i first met my ex-girlfriend back in 2022, let's name her sofa (20F). we were arranged to be in the same class for the first time after going through 4 semesters in poly, right after i went through a break up. i got to know of her beforehand because my best friend back then was pretty close to her, so naturally the both of us hit it off immediately when we found out that we were in the same class. too natural in fact. to me, it felt like she was an extension of me. by the time week 1 ended, we were able to finish each others' sentences, and we knew most of each others' secrets.
slowly but surely, i fell in love. but back then she let me in onto one of her secrets: she had a boyfriend. i didn't want to be a homewrecker, so i kept my feelings to myself. however, said boyfriend was apparently sexually abusive towards her. and throughout it all, i was there for her emotionally and physically (this includes forcing her to give him a bj and to swallow his jizz, and going down on her when she clearly voiced her discomfort.) we'd skip classes sometimes to just be with each other, because she told me that she needed to get away from everything, and as her best friend i couldn't say no. but now that i think about it, it was probably because i too, wanted to spend time with her.
then one night we were out watching black panther 2, and she held my hand in the cinema. that's when i knew that i probably wrecked a home without meaning to. she confessed that she already had feelings for me long before the movie, probably at the same time i started falling for her. she explained how she got together with her then boyfriend: he was there when she needed someone, especially since they were both in the school band (she was the vocalist), he would pull her confidence up when she felt unconfident of herself. gratitude, she called it, with "it" referring to her feelings for him.
she then told me that she believed in the connection between me and her, and i agreed because i too, had never felt anything like this. after that day, i accompanied her to AFA, where she cosplayed as makima and i helped take photos of her. and the next day, our lips met for the first time. she promised that she would break things off with her ex when she flew to new zealand, i trusted her. long story short, she didnt end things with him. but i didnt know that she actually tried her best, but the man wouldn't take it as an answer. (she was the type to never say no) i cut her off there and then, because i didn't want to get hurt any longer.
months passed, and during that period, i went back to my ex. who popped my cherry, and showed me that sex was actually pretty bad. context: i didn't feel good at all, and took 1h30mins to finish. she enjoyed it though, and i later found out that she was lying about being a virgin, and that she actually loves cock. march came and i went to bangkok, thailand on internship with sofa and my best friend. my ex cheated on me 2 weeks into the internship with some streamer on a chinese streaming platform. i have records of her sending gifts to him all the time. strangly, i didnt feel much when i found out, i was actually okay with it. this is where sofa comes in. she held my hand again one night when me, my best friend and her were watching "the whales" in my room. i never thought that she would still have feelings for me, because the whole time people were saying that she gave up on me long ago. and i too, realised that i was not over her. call me a playboy, whatever. but it was my feelings, and i wasn't mature enough to control them. me and sofa fell in love and fixed our misunderstandings.
we spent 5 months together living in the same room. it was like a honeymoon period minus the actual marriage. we had a hard time adjusting to life without each other after we returned to singapore. and we broke up last year december 30th.
thing is, things didn't stop there. she found another guy 3 days after the break up, but still continued to see me in secret and hooked up with me too. all while dating the guy and having sex with him too. (i didn't know they were together, she claimed that they were just friends). soon enough, her own friends found out about our trysts and sold her out to her new guy. i guess he was as delusional as me, because he wanted to hold on. but things weren't the same, and eventually he ended things with her. this prompted her to come back to me, but with a pre-requisite: she wouldn't date me because she needed time to heal. at that point i felt like it was understandable, because she had been through a lot, and on the other hand completely neglected the 4 months of pain that i went through. i finally snapped at her one day, and told that if she wasn't going to try fighting for me, then i wasn't going to. she sent a whole paragraph to defend herself and then blocked me. i thought that i would be able to move on quickly after that, but its still the exact same as the time when i first broke up with her (i didn't sleep for 4 days in a row and collapsed in class, and often locked myself in my cupboard to just cry). i just enlisted in the army a few days ago and i really want to know how do i cope with this, because truth is i still love her.

Copied from Arnauld Bertrands twitter post(@RnaudBertrand)
Wow, China and Russia issued an extraordinary joint statement yesterday, with almost 8,000 words when translated into English, and in many ways more important than the famous "no limits" partnership statement in February 2022.
Here are the points that stood out for me.
BUILDING A NEW WORLD ORDER The statement says that it is an "objective factor" that "the status and strength of emerging major countries and regions in the 'Global South' [are] continuously increasing", and that "the trend of world multipolarity [is] accelerating". This in turn "accelerates the redistribution of development potential, resources, and opportunities in a direction favorable to emerging markets and developing countries, promoting the democratization of international relations and international fairness and justice".
They point out that "countries that adhere to hegemonism and power politics are contrary to this trend, attempting to replace and subvert the international order based on international law with a so-called 'rules-based order'".
Security-wise, the statement says that "both sides believe that the fate of the peoples of all countries is interconnected, and no country should seek its own security at the expense of others' security. Both sides express concern about the current international and regional security challenges and point out that in the current geopolitical context, it is necessary to explore the establishment of a sustainable security system in the Eurasian space based on the principle of equal and indivisible security."
They go on to say that China and Russia "will fully tap the potential of bilateral relations" in order to "promote the realization of an equal and orderly multipolar world and the democratization of international relations, and gather strength to build a just and reasonable multipolar world".
As for the vision of this world order these 2 principles seem to be the foundational ones: 1) An order with no "neo-colonialism and hegemonism" of any kind: "All countries have the right to independently choose their development models and political, economic, and social systems based on their national conditions and people's will, oppose interference in the internal affairs of sovereign countries, oppose unilateral sanctions and 'long-arm jurisdiction' without international law basis or UN Security Council authorization, and oppose drawing ideological lines. Both sides pointed out that neo-colonialism and hegemonism are completely contrary to the trend of the times, and called for equal dialogue, the development of partnerships, and the promotion of exchanges and mutual learning among civilizations." 2) An order based on the UN Charter: "Both sides will continue to firmly defend the achievements of World War II and the post-war world order established by the UN Charter"
EXTREMELY STRONG CONDEMNATION OF THE US This condemnation starts with the paragraph highlighted above that "countries that adhere to hegemonism and power politics are contrary to [the trend towards a multipolar world order]", and the statement also condemns the fact that these "countries" (i.e. mostly the US) are "attempting to replace and subvert the international order based on international law with a so-called 'rules-based order'".
They also write that "both sides call on relevant countries and organizations to stop taking confrontational policies and interfering in the internal affairs of other countries, undermining the existing security architecture, creating 'small yards with high fences' among countries, provoking regional tensions, and advocating for camp confrontation."
They further say that "both sides oppose the hegemonic actions of the United States to change the balance of power in the Northeast Asia region by expanding its military presence and forming military blocs. The US, with its Cold War mentality and camp confrontation model, puts 'small group' security above regional security and stability, endangering the security of all countries in the region. The US should stop such actions."
On top of that the statement speaks of "serious concern about the United States' attempts to undermine strategic stability to maintain its absolute military superiority, including building a global missile defense system and deploying missile defense systems around the world and in space, strengthening the ability to disable the opponent's military actions with precision non-nuclear weapons and 'decapitation' strikes, enhancing NATO's 'nuclear sharing' arrangements in Europe and providing 'extended deterrence' to specific allies, constructing infrastructure in the South Pacific Nuclear-Free Zone treaty member Australia that could be used to support US and UK nuclear forces, engaging in US-UK-Australia nuclear submarine cooperation, and implementing plans to deploy and provide land-based intermediate-range and short-range missiles to allies in the Asia-Pacific and Europe."
The statement also condemns "the United States' unconstructive and hostile 'dual containment' policy towards China and Russia": "The United States' actions of conducting joint exercises with its allies ostensibly aimed at China and Russia and taking steps to deploy land-based intermediate-range missiles in the Asia-Pacific region have raised serious concerns for both sides. The United States claims it will continue these practices with the ultimate goal of establishing routine missile deployments worldwide. Both sides strongly condemn these actions, which are extremely destabilizing to the region and pose a direct security threat to China and Russia, and will strengthen coordination and cooperation to respond to the United States' unconstructive and hostile 'dual containment' policy towards China and Russia."
On Asia-Pacific specifically they write that "both sides oppose the creation of exclusive and closed group structures in the Asia-Pacific region, especially military alliances targeting any third party. Both sides point out that the US "Indo-Pacific Strategy" and NATO's attempts to take destructive actions in the Asia-Pacific region have negative impacts on the peace and stability of the region."
They also "demand that the United States refrain from engaging in any biological military activities that threaten the security of other countries and regions" and they oppose the "use [of] outer space for armed confrontation and oppose the implementation of security policies and activities aimed at achieving military advantage and defining outer space as a 'combat domain.'"
Lastly the statement condemns "the US and its allies' deterrent actions in the military field, provoking confrontation with the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, and exacerbating tensions on the Korean Peninsula, potentially leading to armed conflict", and asks that "the United States and NATO, as the responsible parties for the 20-year invasion and occupation of Afghanistan, should not attempt to deploy military facilities in Afghanistan and its surrounding areas again but should bear primary responsibility for Afghanistan's current economic and livelihood difficulties, bear the main costs of Afghanistan's reconstruction, and take all necessary measures to unfreeze Afghanistan's national assets."
ENORMOUS EXPANSION OF CHINA-RUSSIA COLLABORATION This will be my last point, the statement has an immense list - dozens and dozens of items - of expanded cooperation fields between both countries.
These are some of the most important ones: - Military cooperation: "[both sides] will further deepen military mutual trust and cooperation, expand the scale of joint training activities, regularly organize joint maritime and air patrols, strengthen coordination and cooperation within bilateral and multilateral frameworks, and continuously improve the ability and level of jointly responding to risks and challenges." - More trade, mutual investments and help each other economic development: "continuously expand the scale of bilateral trade", "continuously improve the level of investment cooperation between the two countries", and "jointly develop advanced industries, strengthen technical and production cooperation, including in the civil aviation manufacturing industry, shipbuilding industry, automobile manufacturing industry, equipment manufacturing industry, electronics industry, metallurgical industry, iron ore mining industry, chemical industry, and forest industry" - Cooperation on energy: "consolidate the strategic cooperation in energy between China and Russia and achieve high-level development, ensuring the economic and energy security of the two countries. Strive to ensure the stability and sustainability of the international energy market, and maintain the stability and resilience of the global energy industry chain and supply chain." Also nuclear energy: "deepen cooperation in the field of civilian nuclear energy based on the experience of successful and ongoing projects, including thermonuclear fusion, fast neutron reactors, and closed nuclear fuel cycles" - Promote each others' currencies and financial infrastructure: "Increase the proportion of local currency in bilateral trade, financing, and other economic activities. Improve the financial infrastructure of the two countries, smooth the settlement channels between the two countries' business entities, strengthen regulatory cooperation in the banking and insurance industries of China and Russia, promote the sound development of banks and insurance institutions established in each other's countries, encourage two-way investment, and issue bonds in the financial markets of each other's countries in accordance with market principles." - Deep education and scientific cooperation: "promote the expansion and improvement of quality in mutual study abroad programs, advance Chinese language teaching in Russia and Russian language teaching in China, encourage educational institutions to expand exchanges, cooperation in running schools, conduct high-level talent joint training and scientific research, support cooperation in basic research fields between universities, support activities of alliances of similar universities and high schools, and deepen cooperation in vocational and digital education" - Cooperation in the media and shaping public opinions: "Strengthen media exchanges between the two countries, promote mutual visits at various levels, support pragmatic and professional dialogues, actively carry out high-quality content cooperation, deeply explore the cooperation potential of new media and new technologies in the field of mass media, objectively and comprehensively report major global events, and spread true information in the international public opinion field." - Cooperation within global institutions: "deepen bilateral cooperation [at] the UN General Assembly and the Security Council", "supporting the role of the World Health Organization", "strengthen cooperation within the WTO framework", "cooperation within the framework of the Shanghai Cooperation Organization (SCO)", "uphold the BRICS spirit, enhance the BRICS mechanism's voice in international affairs and agenda", etc.
I could go on and on, the scale of the cooperation they detail is absolutely breathtaking, both countries are going all in with each other.
This statement is absolutely extraordinary and will likely shape the world for decades to come. We now have Russia and China explicitly stating they're all in with each other to bring about a new "equal and orderly multipolar world and the democratization of international relations", and put an end to US hegemonic behavior. No more pretend, it's happening.

What are my options? Do I really want this?
Hey everyone, I graduated from Life Sci in April 2023 in Canada and have since attempted to take the MCAT at the end of last summer. (Context Canadian med schools are all freakishly competitive) I always wanted Med or at least it was always partially on my mind in some regard since high school. Problem is I quite frankly bombed in my first two years. I was some cocky kid who got away with heavy procrastination up until undergrad, I wasnt disciplined or prepared going into university (chasing girls/parties and clout with all of my chad-like business roommates - yeah I know really stupid, also both parents didn’t attend uni so i had no clue what I was truly getting into regarding the jump from high school to a post-secondary STEM degree), and between losing a killer research summer internship right out of first year due to Covid and losing a significant amount of hair lol (dads bald genes also hit me like a truck) I fell into this weird depression second year in covid and thought my whole life/dreams were completely over. Additionally, I fell into this trap comparing myself to friends in business who were securing solid paying jobs/internships and seemed to be progressing through life smoothefaster - (side note: post grad many already seem bored and feel eh about there work). Regardless, I bounced back 3rd and 4th year earning a 3.9ish gpa l2 years n have a shitty 3.4ish overall. MCAT score also is in the low/mid 500’s so definitely would need to rewrite (and yes I know regardless of improvement, other than western/dal Canadas 99.9% out of the picture), but do I want it that bad to go abroad? (States or Ireland)??
After the mcat in the summer I decided to just move on and let it go, I wrote the lsat twice in a 3 month span and now have a ultra competitive score for law schools, however, the sole reason I did the lsat is I just thought I COULD do well in the field ($$$$) but am not DYING or have a BURNING PASSION to actually do it. The same goes for this mba program I was accepted into (corporate world in general) and this health informatics masters I’ll be starting at in the fall. I know I can/will succeed in any of these fields but I have this emptiness inside thinking I’m just giving up on medicine. It feels that all of these other avenues are almost coming tooooo easy to me and I just feel I’m not going to reach true my potential or I won’t feel I’m making meaningful strides to do something good or cool in the world. I have 1 (hopefully 2) research pubs, I’ve volunteered, done some scribe work and genuinely I’ve looked at all the doctors I’ve seen in awe. They’re real life superheros. I have so much respect for what they do and I want in. I’m a super emotional person and I’m at my absolute happiest when I am working for others and making there lives better in some way (I know typical premed shit but I truly truly do recognize this is how I internally feel). Law/corporate/data analysis/etc seems too sedentary and not quite as social/intertwined with authentic ppl interaction day-to-day as med and I feel I’ll be sitting at a desk 10-15 years down the road thinking of what I could’ve done instead.
The only thing is will the cost (financially and time-wise) potentially going to ireland or the states - leaving my entire social circle and accepting that I will be a broke boy for a LONG time be worth the trade? (don’t need to be wealthy by any means just taking on huge debt) It seems tremendously scary and I have doubts I’m going to piss away my life and friends for what could be a romanticized idea of this profession? Also is what I want more balance w/a duller desk job but I find my fun in life outside of work? Additionally I’ve came to the conclusion that money isn’t as big of a motivating factor as it once was, so yes other healthcare jobs may achieve similar things (I.e nurse) but I know deep down I’m capable of med and I want to be totally immersed at the highest level. Finally, if I want to go abroad (states) I may need to do an additional orgo and Biochem class - not sure where to fit this in w/masters and mcat rewrite if I’m serious about it all. I’m only 22 but I sort of feel pressured to get going on something now - and I’m additionally worried that my grades will make any work I do towards this worthless (how I felt studying for mcat last summer).
Sorry for the ramble, but would appreciate people’s 2 cents on if I’m making sense and if any one has worked through similar thoughts.

So I (23M) have been dating (21F) for the past 2 months. I don't want to disclose too many details out of respect for her, but bottom line I rushed the relationship and no longer see a future with changes in behavior that I'm only discovering now. I'll provide some context below, but you can skip to the last paragraph for my question.
We technically live close by (half an hour away), but she has been reluctant to see me in person after 2 weeks in going exclusive, and we have been texting over the past 1 and a half months. She said she's busy with uni and work, and is busy everyday (including weekends) until 11 PM. I was fine with this because she promised that this is temporary, but I started noticing her actions aren't aligned with her promises, and that communication and contact is getting worse.
We really clicked at the start, and she was super enthusiastic with me. We communicated frequently, and it only get better after getting exclusive. 2 weeks in, her texting frequency suddenly dropped, and has been decreasing from constantly texting everyday to once a day after a month, and now one text every 1-3 days. I brought up the issue that I wasn't comfortable at our pacing and wanted a bit more communication, and we reached a middle ground where I accept less communication so she could focus on work, but still maintain it. However, after that talk, our communication only got worse. I see her posting stuff on her Instagram stories, but she can't spare a moment to just say "Sorry, really busy right now, I'll reply soon/tomorrow/etc.". She also has a tendency to not give a specific date on when we can meet up or arrange things, and seem to be actively avoiding any contact with me even though she says she's interested via text (still doesn't give me a specific date on when we can meet up and keeps giving vague promises with no specific timing).
At this point, I feel like I'm just being strung along. She keeps reassuring me that she's still interested and that she does love me, but I really can't feel it from her actions. I've also been thinking to myself that even if she's genuinely busy, I don't want to be in a relationship where she can't even give one text to let me know what's going on (short update) and can't give me any certainty on the direction of where we're going. Despite that she's been very kind and patient with me, even when I had anxiety episodes (I'm secure leaning anxious) when she first started showing distance, and I learned a lot in emotional maturity and have since been able to control my overthinking and episodes. I appreciate her for sticking by me throughout that period (about a month). If she isn't stringing me along, then we're just incompatible in our needs and communication styles.
I'm looking to break up and wanted to call her about it, but she's always avoiding my requests for calls citing she's busy, and for the past 3 days when I tried to bring up my feelings and my discomfort with our distance, she has not replied back at all, despite posting an instagram story. People say it's not good to break up via text (not sure why, but I respect that), but since she's unavailable for a call, I want to leave her a message to stop seeing each other and move on. But she has helped me grow and learn a lot about about my needs and what I'm looking for in a partner, and I'm grateful for meeting her, so if possible I'd like to end things amicably and stay as friends. What should I write to ends things amicably?
TL;DR Rushed the relationship, found changes in behavior and found out we have incompatible communication style and needs (or I'm being strung along even though we're exclusive), learned a lot but have decided I can't see a future with her anymore. Wanted to break up from (sort of LDR) but she's unavailable from call or physical meet up. What to say in break up text, since I respect and grew a lot and wanted to end things amicably.

To me this is the only theory that accounts for all the crazy things that have gone down on both sides throughout this case:
KR is hammered drunk when she drops JO (fact). In her drunkenness she accidentally runs JO over, killing him. She’s so drunk she doesn’t even notice, drives home, and goes to sleep.
At some point before the famous “hos long to die in cold search,” someone coming in/out of the Albert house sees the body, and goes and alerts the others. They freak out and start trying to revive him. They bring his body inside at carry it down to the basement at one point, and try to see if they can revive him (during this chaos is also when the dog could have chewed on his arm, idk). Nothing works, but no one calls the cops or an ambulance because the family still has no idea what happened, and if any of their loved ones could be at fault.
Realizing he is dead and not coming back, they turn their full attention to trying to figure out what happened. Everyone in the house is dumbfounded, and also keep in mind, they’re all drunk, so it’s chaos. There are moments where Brian Albert shouts at Colin and BH, demanding to know if either of them got in some sort of fight outside with JO without anyone noticing, hurt him (accidentally or not), and just aren’t admitting to it out of fear.
They genuinely have no idea what happened to JO, all they know is they have a beat up dead body on their property, and a big family to protect. Eventually, on account of the broken taillight glass, they figure that someone must have run him over. Who ran him over? Was it on purpose or by accident? They form theories and get in a big classic family shouting/finger pointing match, but in the end they genuinely have no idea and aren’t able to reach any conclusions—because no one ever actually say KR drop him off—but they’re running out of time.
At one point someone in the house suggests that the only scenario they can think of that makes sense is that he was probably the victim of a hit and run by a car or plow while walking up the road to the house (”maybe Karen and him were fighting on the ride over, so she dropped him off at a point sooner than the actual driveway out of pettiness, in/near the road”). After being hit by a car, they figure JO then tried to make it to their front door to get help, but collapsed due to his injuries/internal bleeding sustained during the hit-and-run before he could reach the door. Then after collapsing, either succumbed to his injuries or froze to death because of the cold. At this point, right around 2:27am, they naturally then wonder how long it would even take someone to die in the cold, if that is how he ultimately died—this is the moment that JM makes her famous “hos long” search.
The father Brian realizes that at their current rate, there’s no way they are going to pin down exactly what happened to JO by sunrise. He also realizes that while he’s not sure, there’s at least a possibility that someone in his house—maybe even one if his kids, or at least a beloved friend or other family member—is responsible for what happened in some way he is unaware of currently and won’t find out for awhile. Even if no one in the house is responsible, he knows they could still be viewed as responsible by authorities once there is an inevitable investigation.
Drunk and in panic mode, and worried about all the different ways that JO’s body could be interpreted/misinterpreted authorities in ways that jeopardize his family, the family conspires to do all that they can to limit the ways that the scene before them could be misinterpreted. No one in the family has any qualms about this because after all, they didn’t do anything wrong, they just don’t want to scene to have any possibility of appearing like they did anything wrong. Furthermore, because they are themselves law enforcement and have all the right connections, their egos tell them that they have what it takes to pull off such a conspiracy, and a harmless conspiracy at that. Ironically, this false belief of Brian Albert that, through some light manipulation and due to his experience as a cop, he can do a few small things to create an extra layer of protection for his family, is exactly what has backfired is now currently destroying his family…
I mentioned it before, but here is the KEY DETAIL/ASSUMPTION that this theory is truly built upon: the family, drunk and in panic mode, and attempting confirm whether JO is truly dead and not coming back (and if someone in the house is responsible, CLUE style), carry his body from the road/driveway into their house (out of public view) and down into the basement. Inevitably, blood gets everywhere, all over their basement floor. This is the critical element that creates the panic that makes them feel that conspiring to limit their family risk is truly the best option.
First of all, I don’t know if you dog-owners have ever had a cut on your foot or ankle, but in some random moments in life where I’ve gotten a cut and not even noticed it, my dog almost always finds it first and starts licking it like the little carnivore madman he is… I’m sure you already know what I’m getting at… In all the shouting and screaming and chaos, the Alberts rile up their dog and fail to take their dog into account as they panic-move the bloody body to the basement. In all the commotion, the dog gets extremely excited/overwhelmed, and its primal instinct kicks in and views JOs body as some sort of “Fresh kill from the family hunt.” At one point the dog spazzes out and starts licking the blood a bit and even chomps on JOs lifeless arm like a chew toy. If this sounds far-fetched, you must not be a dog owner, because excited dogs are capable of doing all kinds of wacky actions when they’re in weird and excitable moods, and it only takes a split second.
Anyway, back to what they decide to do. Brian Albert eventually realizes how insanely stupid of a mistake it was to bring JOs body inside their home and into the basement in their panicked/drunken attempt to get him out of the cold and indoors to see if they could revive him/see if he is still alive. They now know JO is truly dead, and now their basement is covered in his blood. Brian panics and realizes how authorities could interpret the blood in the basement in a million not-a-hit-and-run ways—especially because it will look incredibly bad/suspicious that they found the body and did not immediately call police or an ambulance. So, he takes the reigns and tells his family everything they are going to do from here to make everything look as good as possible for them…
First, they need to move the body back outside and into the snow so, at the very least, it goes back to looking like something that happened outside and outside only, thus minimizing the “fight in the basement” look of it and maximizing the “hit by a car” (which is actually what happened) look of it. He also realizes how bad it looks that none of them have contacted authorities about the body as they’ve been panicking trying to make sense of what happened / get on the same page out of their own self-interest, so Brian Albert also instructs everyone (or whoever is still at the house at this point, because by now they’ve started creating their timelines of coming/going and sending various ppl—Colin, etc.—home to protect them) that once they’ve brought the body outside, they are all going to act as if no one ever saw the body.
Also, by now they’ve all realized that it is 95% likely that it was KR who ran JO over when she was shitfaced. This is when they decide to have Jen McCabe go over in the AM to have her “help” KR find the body. They want KR to be the first person to appear to find the body, realize what she’s done, and then this will be the simplest/cleanest scenario. Why? Because if they decide to have it play out that someone at the Albert’s finds the body, it’s going to become impossibly complicated for all of them maintain the same story/timelines etc. of everything that transpired before/after that moment (exs. all of them telling each other one by one, chains of texts, calls, etc. telling various people, mini interactions of made up conversations that they would have to invent and keep track of, all of them “waking up” and alerting their families, and all the while trusting their acting skills in their current drunken/exhausted/emotional state, etc.). So, they make a calculated risk that they could sell the “we never noticed the body” story, and it would be a betteeasier story for them, and it’s of course the story they’re still sticking with now as they’ve taken the stand.
However, we know now, the “let’s just all act like we never found the body and have Karen ‘find it’ in the AM” strategy has backfired horribly, because they have failed to sell several parts of their testimonies/timelines (ex. J Nagel’s ”black blob,” line, etc) relating to several of them somehow driving/walking right past the body of grown man in the snow and not noticing it.
Anyway, this theory of mine is the only one I can think of that accounts for all the evidence, as well as everyone’s behavior throughout the trial. I think everyone has gotten too caught up in the false dichotomy of:

1. JO never made it inside the house + Karen ran JO over with the car and killed him
2. JO made it into the house, where someone or multiple people at the house (and dog) beat JO to death + now the McAlberts are bending over backwards to keep their stories straight.

To me it’s an obvious combination of the two, just leaving out the vicious basement beating part
No one beat JO to death. KR accidentally ran him over while driving slowly, but then the car dragged him as she drove (extremely common in hit and runs), and in a manner that produced his specific head injuries, killing him. She had no idea she was dragging his body for many yards. Someone coming in/out of the Albert’s find his body with zero context, launching the family into a frenzy as they try to figure out what happened and what to do about it to minimize the likelihood of their getting in trouble—they drunkenly decided to play God with their inflated townie egos—a product of their combined law enforcement experience, political connections, and blood-alcohol levels, when they should have just immediately called the cops.
The events unfold as described above, and, critically, they make the wrong decision to create their own McAlbert-family story of how it went down when they become afraid that their now bloody basement could make it look like they murdered him—especially the bad optics of the crowd given that (a) Colin is a meathead with a history of playing tough-guy as a teenager and (b) Brian Higgins allegedly/maybe had some sort of thing going on with KR.
This theory would explain all of the following:

• The “hos long to die in cold” search from inside the house before KR “found” the body, as the family panicked trying to figure out the various WTFs of the situation, and options for alibis.
• All the physical evidence related to the broken tail light, the hair, JO being found with the broken cocktail glass because he never made it inside, etc.
• Why the Alberts got rid of the dog and tore up their entire basement right after JOs death, because they wanted to make sure that no traces of JO—his blood, specifically—would be found inside the house.
• The version of KRs words to the first responders where she actually confesses “I hit him I him him”—because she did.
• Why Proctor was so brazen in saying he hoped KR killed herself & looked for her nudes and bragged about it, because he talked to the McAlberts throughout the investigation, who made him feel confident that she was in fact, a cop killer. And was especially upset at all the risks the McAlberts felt they needed to take to protect themselves from accusations as a result of her drunken actions.
• Why JOs shoe etc. was found so far away—his body was dragged by KR’s car and/or one of the Albert’s strewn his stuff about intentionally to make it look even more convincingly that the accident was initiated away from house, not on the property.
• Why the texts and timelines of Colin being driven home by Allie are all so fishy, because they were obviously fabricated to appear as if the texts/the care ride were happening under normal circumstances, not “what do we do about this body and all this blood?” and “Colin, have Allie come get you now, you don’t need to be here—me and Brian H know what we’re doing, we will handle the body + it will look suspicious if you’re here any longer” type circumstances.
• Why all the unbelievable testimonies from the McAlberts having to do with them somehow not noticing the body in those situations where it was like, right in front of them, are indeed lies and bullshit. Of course they all knew it was there, but they all agreed to pretend like they never saw it to make their story work.
• All the various instances of Albert’s deleting their texts/calls, getting rid of their phones, deleting their Ring cameras videos, etc.—bc these texts and calls and videos of course contained mountains of evidence showing how they all conspired with each other out of fear and ego instead of calling the police right away, and of course destroy all versions of their made up timelines.
• Why the McAlberts have all stayed strong, stuck to their stories, and not cracked under pressure (yet)… because they feel entitled to what they view are “white lies” because, after all KR is still the one who did it, and they’re not the bad ones.

In the end, upon finding JO’s body, The McAlberts tried to doctor some details and alter some timelines to make the whole case that much cleaner and give themselves some extra protection from scrutiny, the law, and (probably most importantly to them) to protect their precious reputations in Canton as powerful townies.
Of course, it is a rich irony that the very thing they were trying to prevent—people think that some of their family beat JO to death—is now exactly the theory that most of public is now leaning towards, now that they have taken the stand and all their suspect testimony, self-contradictions, and inexplicable behavior are on full display. Even more ironically, not only have they trashed their own reputations, they (along with Turtle Boy & co.) have inadvertently turned Karen into a cult hero—a small but brave woman stoically taking on not just lies and false accusation of her boyfriend’s murder, but the corruption of the Boston Police department at large.
And, on a more meta level, I think this theory also explains why KR carries herself the way she does. She knows she hit JO, and she feels terrible deep down, but at the same time, she’s always disliked the McAlberts and how special and untouchable they’ve always acted—big, corrupt fish in a small Canton pond. So, she finds comfort in knowing that even thought they didn’t kill JO, some bad people are still being exposed for the entitled liars and townie dumdums that they are. She also knows that she’s not really at any risk of being convicted at this point (unless the jury actually shocks the world), and she’s enjoying the spotlight and cult hero status that people like Turtle Boy have created for her.

For context, I was 19 when I first figured out that I was a femboy, though i did had some fleeting thoughts back in highschool. That said, I am still in a transparent closet in the sense that other people who know me have clues (if they don't know outright that I am a feminine boy) but I'm still afraid of revealing myself outright to my parents, given that I still live in their house and the fact that they come from a patriarchal, heteronormative culture which is understating things.

On page 143, Jeremy and Rich are talking about how Jeremy used to date this girl (smth like that) and Rich, going to Jeremy’s defense, disses the girl but since the curse words are censored I have no clue what he’s saying.
The context is
“So you went out with Katrina too?” Rich asks me. That makes me wonder if he really went out with her, but the squip tells me that it isn’t important who did or didn’t go out with Katrina in this universe – it gives you status to say it, and it’s possible in so many universes, you might as well just say it.
“Only a little,” I respond.
“F_ _ _ that c _ _ _ _ _ _ _,” Rich spits. The girls jump; Rich was always a great curser, even before he got a squip.

I found this in a writing app on my tablet today. Context shows it was written at least 3 years ago, but could have been up to 5 years.
We are not aware of a Natalia in our system, and no recollection of reading this or repeating this mantra or anything.
For anyone curious, yes we did get over “X” lol.
Now just don’t know how to proceed? Should we be trying to communicate with Natalia? Did this message never get found? Is she here? Does she exist in our system??
“Hello (body’s name/systems name)!
I have not yet introduced myself. My name is Natalia, and I have been quite for a very long time. I did not want you to feel like I was trying to judge or control you. I believe you are ready for me to share my advice to you, because you are displaying your desire to move past your feelings for (let’s call him X).
This is critical, because it’s time for you to stop telling yourself what you want to hear. II have been considering whether I should tell you about myself first or just dive right in to what I want to tell you, and I have decided I want to present myself professionally from the beginning.
You have been holding on to an attachment to somebody who has shown no interest in you. It’s time you move on, however I know it is easier said than done, as we can not control our feelings. I do believe that we can direct our feelings, and it starts with a willful and purposeful awareness.
I want you to try an exercise. Whenever you think of him tell yourself this mantra: We are separate, and he does not have any feelings for me. Our past relationship does not matter now, what matters is that he is not interested. Any idea that he may be interested is illogical and dangerous.
We will talk again soon, and I’m happy to finally have met you. Keep moving forward, and remember that the relationship is over. “
(Edited to put spaces where the paragraphs were in original format)

As the subject says, I genuinely suck at the first stage of dating. I’ve had no luck at all for about two years at this point, and not for lack of trying. All things considered, I should probably be really good at it - I’ve built an entire business around networking and helping people build business partnerships, and host networking events all over the country. I absolutely THRIVE in business environments, I can talk shop all day long and workshop businesses forever. I’m not shy, I could talk to a freaking wall if I wanted to.
When it comes to dating, though, it’s another story entirely. I am super outgoing with everyone around me, and am very active in a church group and multiple friend groups with both guys and girls. Every time I start talking to a girl I could be interested in, I freeze up. I have no clue what to talk about, I get a little weird, that sort of stuff.
For context - I would consider myself a solid 7.5/10 - I genuinely think I’m pretty good looking, I’m 5’8” and go to the gym/play sports regularly and run 3 times a week. I’m also pretty happy with my personality. But I do think I get in my head SO badly and talk myself down. The last three girls I dated (most recent being almost two years ago) kinda messed me up, there was never cheating but it ended in pretty disrespectful ways each time. I get the feeling that’s jaded me a bit here.
Has anyone been in the same sort of situation - where you can talk, be charismatic and make friends like crazy, but the second it comes to dating you just hit a wall? Any thoughts or recommendations? I get the feeling a lot of it is based on self-love, which I’ve only recently realized might be an issue for me. That’s just difficult when I genuinely never feel like girls are interested in me.
It could be worth noting that based on past relationships and experiences, in my mind I almost always assume someone isn’t interested in me. I rarely ask girls out anymore, and have ditched dating apps. I say “not for lack of trying” above, and I mean that, but my “trying” is working on getting closer to a girl I’m interested to feel out if there’s any interest, but never overstep, with the fear of making them uncomfortable or messing with a friendship.
Would love any thoughts!

This morning, I found old text messages on my boyfriend's (23M) phone. Some from March-April last year. We were EXTREMELY exclusive at the time but didn't begin "dating until July" for some reason.
Context: He had some really crazy habits at the time trying to make a name in the music scene (I DJ too so I tried to accept it but tried talked to him about it) and he was very fresh out of/possibly still kind of in a relationship when I first met him... my first issue I know. (He denies this but I found proof...he did end up cutting it off soon)
In these messages, he’s flirting with a woman around (40F) who is apart of the music scene around town. She gave him her address and saying she wants to have sex, etc. To which he responded “Ughhhh I just saw this. Call me anytime ;)” and hearted her message. He claims he never had sex with her and would just go along with it to gain opportunities and gigs from her? Apparently she is connected to people and made some introductions for him. He also called her babe multiple times, offers to do things for her, calls her beautiful, and he says he called her babe because she’s European and that’s how she talks?
He proceeded to tell me that “she’s a swinger of course I didn’t want her” and all of these other rude things about her looks. He completely denied any attraction of any excitement out of the flirting.
Not to mention, he brought me around her a couple of months ago… now that I live in the area and I didn’t even know any of this had gone on. We attended this retreat he apparently didn’t know she’d be at and I did this whole workout and spiritual thing not knowing about any of this? Makes me feel like a fool.
He also did this with another woman around (27F) who works at a venue and has a nice following, which lasted until September. I didn't really get too much context on this situation since the conversation was mostly deleted except for she was talking about gaining feelings for him. Apparently they met up a couple of times to which he said “I wanna see youuu” and he has been to her house and told me that he would talk on the phone and be there for her after the death of one of her friends? And brought her chic fil a?
Why would she catch feelings though? He had to have done something for her to feel that way. He said he was just being nice and giving her someone to talk to which he still shouldn’t have done? Sounds like BS to me.
I can't 100% tell if he means what he says in saying he was just using them or if he was actually flirting? These are not particularly attractive girls and I’m outright confused. He has an excuse for every single thing I ask him and I just can't seem to tell if he's being serious. I am definitely leaning towards leaving him.
At the time we were long distance, and I moved to his state in January.
A couple months ago, we ran into some middle-aged women at an event and one of them made a comment about remembering him from “the airport, stripclub, airbnb" or something like that. He said he had no idea who she was or what she was talking about and come to find out, the (40F) woman was friends with her and asked him to pick her up. He now says that she just told the story wrong since it was a hookah lounge and there was no strip club, but at the time he told me he had no clue what she was saying at all or who she even was and I felt very disrespected and confused.
He tends to fixate on details and give a whole other excuse. It honestly makes my brain go insane. I want to think the best of him but I know exactly what it sounds like.
It's just so hard for me because we live together and are just setting up our futures. His habits have always been difficult for me to accept, but he was just now starting to see the light and changing his ways.
On top of this, he's been asking his family for money and I had no idea. He's been charging his mom for our rent at which he told me he had "savings" and I guess he didn't want to stress me out? But I saw that they've been arguing about this and I still haven't met his parents. I just feel like this is all off to the wrong start and I am not confident in his actions.
He also lied to his mom repeatedly as to reasons why he couldn't meet her up to talk. I get it she just wanted to scold him and was overwhelming him, but he made up lies like "I got into a car accident" and used the excuse of I told her it's not serious and nobody was harmed or "My phone is broken and needs to be repaired" etc. etc. Apparently he also had a friend die? I guess he claims this one was true but I never heard about it. Confusing. I think he might be a pathological liar. That's what his sister said.. Not to mention the EX he had just "broken up with" when I met him was involved with this family. She was his sister's husband's very close NIECE. His mom still sees her when he goes to watch his sister's kids.
I don't know if I'll ever be able to have a relationship with his family, due to the way he has handled things. I haven't been able to attend or been invited to family gatherings, etc. etc. I thought I was just being outright rejected initially but it all makes sense now.
He is not on good terms with his family and they don't approve because he admitted to cheating on his ex to his sister (I saw the messages even though he told me he just told her what he wanted to hear so that they stopped bothering him?) and they've been paying my rent without me knowing?
I can tell he has been trying to improve his character and habits recently all around, though and that he does care for me but it's sad because he also tells me everything I want to hear. He's recently been sticking more to his word but it freaks me out because he just says things and they are not at all true sometimes.
I think I need to leave it's just such a fragile time as he is having a hard time affording this place and started this lease just to be with me/ because my previous lease was ending and I didn't have anywhere to go. He moved me out here singlehandedly. He also does every single thing I need and tends to me in every capacity.
I feel upset because it seems he does this for others too. Or did. He kisses a lot of a**.
Should I dm these women to find out if they ever had sex with him? He claimed he was just using them and never even kissed them. But there are addresses being exchanged and he's been to their houses? Apparently they're just people from the "music scene" who he has been trying to go along with and be nice to literally JUST to get bookings.
There are a lot of underlying foundational issues but we also live together and I've never received so much love and understanding. He boasts about me to everyone and says he doesn’t know what he’d do without me and I helped him turn his life around and he doesn’t know where he’d be without me….
There has definitely a lot of genuine improvement since I’ve been here but we’ve also been together every single day, and I feel like those older habits could resurface in the future.
However, part of me doesn't know if it's valid to be mad at the messages because they were from so long ago, but I remember being super invested and driving 6+ hours to see him at the time. :( The family thing is a completely other issue. I feel lied to and confused. I feel like everything is a lie but the second I talk to him he has an excuse or explanation for every little thing. I don’t know if there’s anything else I don’t know, I am sure there is though honestly.
I know it is a lot. Any advice is welcome.
Somehow I still feel very guilty.. he is outside crying and I just feel horrible somehow.

Introduction: The Mysterious Double Album
I’ll always remember 2 AM on April 19th 2024. I was in my pjs, alone, on my balcony, fresh off my first listen to Taylor Swift’s album The Tortured Poet’s Department. After sufficiently enjoying my solitary experience, I took to the internet to see what the masses were saying…when Swift dropped a whole second album: The Tortured Poets Department Anthology. Swift, a master of both Easter egging surprises for her fandom and practicing the number one rule of business (give the people what they want!), had been hinting at something “double” for months. Most significantly, while accepting her Grammy for Best Pop Vocal Album, she flashed a “peace sign.” That damn peace sign haunted the fandom for months. Swift’s corporate social media account, u/TaylorNation, used peace sign emojis and called attention to the number two whenever possible (ie teasing the album 22 days out etc.). There were also many “2”s present in in the promotional “experiences” leading up to the album release date—including statues of peace signs at the TTPD interactive experience at The Grove in LA. As usual, some Swifties went bonkers with their theories (or “clowning” as outlandish theorizing is referred to in the community). I myself couldn’t help but believe some concept of doubling would be significant in TTPD, but I couldn’t have guessed a full DOUBLE album (Swift’s capitalization). What an absolute treat. Mother was, as they say, mothering.
…Only the two mania didn’t seem to end post-drop. If anything, the two mania heightened. The albums were not just surprises in themselves, they were full of mystery. They seemed to reference multiple relationships, cryptic narratives, allusions to Swift’s previous songs, allusions to iconic poets, and very often, twins. The sleuthing type of Swiftie (full disclosure, moi) dove in deep. We gathered where we do—on Twitter, on TikTok, on Reddit (my preferred sandlot). And as we obsessed over every lyric, literary allusion, and video clip, Swift, our self-appointed “chairman” seemed to encourage us. Swift added a TTPD set to her Eras tour in Paris. Afterward, she posted a collection of photos to Instagram. The second photo of the post is Swift onstage, in a sparkling showman’s outfit, flashing two fingers.
Initial Tortured Poets and Sylvia Plath Connections
Swift has always been an incredible poet, but that’s not necessarily how the world saw hesees her. Swift is a pop star, specifically, Swift was a young girly pop star, most known for her tabloid romances and dramas, which she would (allegedly) write about in her music. Swift’s work has been labeled as “confessional” since her first album, which included songs she openly said were about boys at her high school. I offer this context (or, lore) to explain why I began seeing connections to TTPD in Sylvia Plath’s “confessional” work.
Of course, the theme of TTPD is tortured poets, so many avid literary Swifties have enjoyed seeking connections between Swift’s new songs and iconic poetry. No connections are overt, but some seem to be more likely than others. Namely, there’s been much discussion of Virginia Woolf thanks to the song “Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?”(perhaps a riff on the Edward Albee play title). Other Swifties have found possible lyrical links to Mary Shelley and Charlotte Bronte. Swift herself references Patti Smith and Dylan Thomas in the album’s title track.
I remembered a third poet in relation to Smith and Thomas: Sylvia Plath, obviously an all timer of a tortured poet. I remember hearing an anecdote that she had been obsessed with Thomas and stalked him outside the Chelsea Hotel (also named in the TTPD title track). I did a quick skim of Plath’s Wikipedia to confirm and then started noticing many possible connections to TTPD and Plath’s life.
In the “Fortnight” music video, Swift acts out being institutionalized for insanity and getting electric shock treatment—two significant experiences in Plath’s life. Plath was also coupled with a deeply problematic man, Ted Hughes. Plath fell in love with Hughes for his artistic talent before he revealed himself to be an unsupportive parter, ultimately cheating on Plath with a younger woman. The narrative is not too dissimilar to the narrative about Swift’s alleged ex Matty Healy, as seemingly told in TTPD. (Of course, we don’t know the true subjects of Swift’s songs—if they’re even actually confessional—but some key hints point to Healy. Whether those hints provide actual context to Swift’s life or to the story Swift is telling of her life, one cannot know.) Finally, several of TTPD songs reference a latent desire for suicide (“I might as well die / it would make no difference” etc.). Okay, post-“finally,” these are stretches, but, I’ll note anyway: one of Plath’s most famous collections of poems is titled Ariel, but an alternate title was Daddy. There are connections to both words in TTPD via the song “But Daddy I Love Him.” The title is a line from the Disney movie The Little Mermaid (which features the main character Ariel, a mermaid, caught between two worlds). Extra clowning: some people (hi, I'm people) believe Swift’s 1989 costume for her first Paris concert was an allusion to Ariel: a pink crop top and a seafoam skirt.
As I dug into Plath's life, I couldn’t help but also see similarities to Swift's life. Both women were prolific writers from a very young age. Also, although possibly obscured through artistic license, both women were/are known to write about their own lives. (Plath was apparently encouraged by her professors Robert Lowell and Anne Sexton to write from her experience. I cannot help but tie in Swift’s “The Manuscript” lyric “the Professor said to write what you know.”) Both Plath and Swift expressed/express their depression via their writing, but if you only knew them from their public personas, you’d never guess the depths of their struggles. It seems both Plath and Swift lived/live double lives. Plath was actually fascinated by the concept of doubles. In fact, the concept of doubling was the topic of Plath’s college thesis paper “The Magic Mirror.”
The Magic Mirror and TTPD
Plath’s college paper is sadly not available to the general public. (It had a limited print run in, you guessed it, 1989.) But! I was able to read a few texts about the thesis, and the amount of possible TTPD references is astounding.
Since we can’t directly analyze Swift’s work via Plath’s directly, I’d like to share several key quotes from the most telling article I could find about the “The Magic Mirror”: “Sylvia Plath’s Magic Mirror” by Kelly Coyne (May 2018, The Los Angeles Review of Books). (To be noted, Coyne has also written about Swift, in her article “Growing Up In Taylor Swift’s America” in December 2023 on Literary Hub—a fabulous read!)
Early in her article, Coyne sets the scene for Plath's thesis:
“Her undergraduate thesis, which she wrote as a senior at Smith College...is titled “The Magic Mirror: A Study of the Double in Two of Dostoevsky’s Novels.” “The Magic Mirror” explores literary doubles made up of a character’s repressed traits, and, as the double grows in power, it heralds the protagonist’s death. Citing Robert Louis Stevenson’s The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde as well as Oscar Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray, Plath argued that the choice to create a double works to “reveal hitherto concealed character traits in a radical manner” and simultaneously exposes the driving conflicts of the novel housing that character. Her thesis claims that both Ivan, of The Brothers Karamazov, and Golyadkin, of The Double, have attempted to repress troubling aspects of their personalities, resulting in the double.”
Immediately, I imagine the two versions of Swift from the “Anti-Hero” music video. One Swift is real, true, sensible. The other is a pot-stirring, self-esteem destroying, alcoholic. During Eras, the huge Swift (monster on a hill) screams and stomps around in the background while the real, true Swift smiles and dances in a sparkle dress onstage. The fandom seems to be referring to these two Swifts as Taylor Swift and TAYLOR SWIFT (TM). Folks have theorized Post-Malone in the Fortnight music video is not necessarily a lover, but a twin, or double, of Swift. This theory is enhances by the Eras visuals during that song, specifically two dancers walking away to the back of the stage, but then becoming one.
More Coyne: “Plath, quoting Dostoyevsky in her thesis, noted that Ivan’s double, Smerdyakov, is “wrinkled” and “yellow.” The distinct differences in appearance between originator and double, she continued, are meant to reflect the protagonist’s mental state and cultural status.”
First of all, yellow. In the Gaylor community, folks have often theorized yellow symbolizes being closeted—a reading based on the symbolic coloring in the 1999 film …But I’m a Cheerleader. However, one need not be a Gaylor to consider the importance of yellow to Swift’s storytelling. Most recently, Swift performed “my tears ricochet” at Eras in a bright yellow dress, as her dancers were dressed for a funeral. Following Coyne’s analysis of Plath's analysis of Dostoyevsky, one could guess Swift is teasing a death of some version of herself.
Coyne discusses how Plath clearly used a “double” of herself to write The Bell Jar. Plath herself spent a summer in New York interning for Mademoiselle. The protagonist in TBJ, Esther, spends a summer in New York interning at a magazine too. To go even further down the rabbit hole, Esther also doubles herself, frequently expressing normalcy on the outside and despair on the inside. On the book's first page, Esther tells her audience, “I was supposed to be having the time of my life.” (Again, I cannot help but hear a Swift echo of, “I can read your mind / she’s having the time of her life” from “I Can Do It With a Broken Heart” about smiling through her depression.) Coyne makes many more references to mirrors and concealing in The Bell Jar, Ether’s split (and sadness) gets worse and worse the more she hides who she is from others. Notably, at a low point, Esther hides under her mother’s bed. (And Swift sings of a post-heartbreak depression, “Afterwards she only ate kids' cereal / And couldn't sleep unless it was in her mother's bed.”)
Coyne writes about the “imprisoned” aspect of doubles: “The wound from which Esther tries, and fails, to hide chimes with the inescapable, colonizing double, and Plath’s language again illustrates its penal nature: it is inside Esther, but it traps her like a jail cell.” (Again, I cannot help but see references to “Fresh Out the Slammer”, “The Smaller Man Who Ever Lived,” and the TTPD Eras visuals of cages and cell lighting.)
Coyne, on Plath’s doubles’ names, something Swift has not ever used (or so we think): “From her conception of The Bell Jar all the way to its final revisions, Plath suffered an exhausting amount of anxiety over its heroine’s name.” Plath wrote to a friend, “‘I’ll have to publish it under a pseudonym, if I ever get it accepted, because it’s so chock full of real people I’d be sued to death’...Indeed, this wasn’t mere paranoia; she did have to change her protagonist’s name at the instruction of her editor for legal reasons.”
Coyne continues, “Most novelists likely have concerns about being associated with the characters to whom they give life, especially the ugly ones, and especially when the character resembles its author. Yet what is unique about Plath’s case is her knowledge of the theoretical underpinnings and implications of her choice to push Esther away, and the hold this knowledge assumed on Plath’s work and life. Another look at The Bell Jar with a consideration of Esther as Plath’s double tangles the issue even further, and Plath drops clues for this kind of reading throughout the novel. Esther, for example, sits down to write her own novel and recounts, “My heroine would be myself, only in disguise. She would be called Elaine. Elaine. I counted the letters on my fingers. There were six letters in Esther, too. It seemed a lucky thing.” Not coincidentally, Plath’s first name has six letters as well.” Again, Plath was in a bizarre double infinity loop (like the loop on the Eras stage in “Down Bad”?). Plath was concealing her double, the protagonist in her novel, who was concealing her double, the protagonist in her novel.
Coyne wraps up her findings: “In her thesis, written nearly a decade earlier, as she turned 22 — the year after her first documented suicide attempt — Plath claimed, quoting Otto Rank:
In such situations, where the Double symbolizes the evil or repressed elements in man’s nature, the apparition of the Double “becomes a persecution by it, the repressed material returns in the form of that which represses.” Man’s instinct to avoid or ignore the unpleasant aspects of his character turns into an active terror when he is faced by his Double, which resurrects those very parts of his personality which he sought to escape. The confrontation of the Double in these instances usually results in a duel which ends in insanity or death for the original hero.”
Coyne seems to argue Plath believed an artist's double has the power to become bigger than the artist herself, ultimately killing her. Is TTPD Swift's predetermination of, hopefully, her her double's death instead of her own?
In Conclusion: Plath to her Mentor, Dessner on Swift
Who knows what TTPD is really truly about, and who knows if we ever will.
The biggest Easter egg, hiding in plain sight, is that the album is titled THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT. There’s no apostrophe after “poet.” Nor is there an apostrophe after the “s” in “poets.” The department does not belong to a poet or to a collection of poets. It is a department OF tortured poets, perhaps two, to be exact. …or perhaps the album indicates the departure of the tortured poet...and her double.
I’ll sign off with two final quotes from my research:
According to Coyne, three months before Plath died by suicide, she had written a mentor about her second (obviously unfinished) book. Plath wrote, “It is to be called “Doubletake”, meaning that the second look you take at something reveals a deeper, double meaning […] it is semi-autobiographical about a wife whose husband turns out to be a deserter and philanderer although she had thought he was wonderful & perfect.”
According to Aaron Dessner’s TTPD release Instagram post: ”Keep searching and you'll find some new detail, layer or sliver of meaning with each listen.”
SUBREDDIT PS! Shout out to Expensive_Succotash5 for noting the TTPD intro poem's reference to being out of the oven, could be an allusion to Plath's death. Also shout-out to Good-Amphibian-7993 for this connection to a photo of Plath with a rose, not unlike Swift's album rose art.

Should i reach out and apologize to him? Please help. Any insights would be appreciated.
Should I reach out and apologize? Please help, any insights would really help me.
Hi, everyone. I'm 20F and my ex 22M has recently broken up, 2 days ago specifically. He broke up with me and told me that is he is tired and that our relationship is going nowhere. The reason is that we've been having arguments for I think 2 weeks before he decided to end it.
Now, to be honest, I realized that I picked a lot of fights because I felt insecure and I feared that he's going to abandon me. For context, I was passive aggressive with my tone and that made him defensive. I opened up about my feelings with him liking this celebrity girl on TikTok and I felt like he is more attracted to her than me because I've been posting a lot of pictures and he didn't complemented me and I just felt like I am unattractive and that maybe he don't want me anymore. (Looking back, I honestly think that I am immature with this one and I recognize that I relied on him for validation and assurance that I was still attractive for him.)
To continue, he said that okay he'll stop liking to make me comfortable and yada yada. After that 2 days later, he started reposting again this girl on tiktok and started sharing her pics, now this made me panic, I know, ridiculous. He started going off on me about how I am so immature and he just want someone who doesn't control her. I was hurt by what he said.
From this argument, we started to have another argument and another and another and it just keeps piling up. So, I decided to communicate with him. I know I did my best to keep my composure while communicating this on chat since we're LDR. I didn't become passive aggressive, I wasn't rude with him, No cussing or whatever, I talked with gentleness as much as possible as I don't want to make anything worse.
I told him that we need to communicate, I was sorry for being so insecure and I'll just support him if he wants to be a fanboy over that girl, that I was just feeling insecure at that time and needed compliment from him. Basically, I was sending paragraphs to him to really address the issues that we're having during the past few weeks and also to really apologize. He essentially told me to "shut my mouth" and he just wants a relationship that has peace, he said that can I just please stop talking and such and this made me feel extremely unheard and invalidated cuz I know all I want is communication and reassurance from him that we're gonna be okay even after all the fights.
After he said that, he was cold to me during the following days, I was being distant too since I was hurt and since I didnt wanna make things more complicated by opening up again my feelings, I didn't really talk that much. Fast forward he said that we should meet, we ate food and he was saying "sorry" and he said that he thought we will talk and I was nonchalant during our meet. I was really hurt and this was not to punish him, but the things that was running through my head is that he didn't really listen to me and invalidated me during the times that I wanted to really talk and what difference it would make if we will talk in person if he doesn't understand where i'm coming from.
So we didn't had that much talk. After that night, he decided to unfriend me on facebook w/o communicating so I asked what's the problem and he said he felt disrespected by our last meet since I didn't really talk. And then I apologized and said that I did that cuz he basically told me prior to meeting up to shut up and that's what I'm trying to give him. (Not to be rude or whatever) I was just trying to really give him what I thought he wants.
After that he broke up with me and I can't help thinking that maybe I was really the problem and maybe I should apologize to him. I don't know if I want him back, I am just questioning myself right now. Please help. :(

I know her ass isn’t fucking talking because she dropped out of high school and had to get her GED. 💀🤦‍♀️she’s so messy and gossipy! A drama talker! Idk how to say but she’s messy yk? She does not resemble a mother at all to me. I graduated high school but the thing is, I was close to not doing so because of my math grades. I have a learning disability being dyscalculia. I has to take multiple personalized tests for IEP. I was in a whole program because of my diability. It’s not my fault is it? I felt so shitty about her doing that. Someone please tell me I have a shit mother and she shouldn’t have said that. I would say I can’t believe her but atp i’m not shocked. For context; my Nmom was having another emotional outburst like a child and proceeded to belittle my personal life and struggles. She was bouncing all over the place, one minute she’s criticizing my life, my relationships, my education then saying I almost failed high school then calling me selfish, spoiled, mean, rude, disrespectful. I’m none of those things. My Nmom was slandering me left and right while she sits there because she’s not getting her way. Because her daughter is “randomly” going no contact with her and calls herself a victim. Absolutely disgusting. I legit told her ONE of the reason why I’m going contact is because of her behavior at this moment. everything that comes out of that women’s mouth is another bridge being burnt. She just keeps being toxic and won’t refuse to be self aware of it. My Nmom is extremely twisted and toxic. The reason why she’s calling me these things is because I’m grey rocking her, essentially her child being me, wants nothing to do with her. She is abusive and acts like she has no clue what the reason is.
I wanted to explain myself, I wanted to explain my disability and out of all people my mother should understand it. I STILL GRADUATED DIDNT I? It seems like she’s jealous that I graduated, walked across the stage and got my dimploma by the hair while she had to go get her GED. She can’t let me be happy about the fact I graduated, instead she wants to remind me of the misfortune of it all. She’s just so miserable and mean. I have an learning disability that also hindered my performance but I pushed though and did what I needed to do to pass. I got extra help. I did what I needed to do! I even got a scholarship for college. She’s acting like i’m a whimp. I know my mother is a narcissist but what TYPE of mother is she? Is she the mother who’s jealous of their daughters? The mother who wants everything the daughter achieves for herself? I’m not sure.