https://gofund.me/9c7d143c
Hi Everyone,
This go fund me is on behalf of my friend Devin who was born with HIV, has survived MRSA (a serious infection caused by staph bacteria that is highly resistant to antibiotics), sepsis, pneumonia, job loss connected to his illnesses.
The goal of this go fund me is to raise funds towards a cheap cash vehicle so Devin can keep his current employment which is low wage and does not allow for him to save for a vehicle, continue to afford rent, pick up side hustles and become financially stable. He is not looking for a luxury vehicle and has set the go fund me goal at 2,000 (which is about the price for a cash vehicle in his area).
Financing a car isn’t a viable option due to his credit being damaged by medical debt. There are not many resources when it comes to assistance for vehicles and he has exhaused the few that there are.
He's tried everything else and that's why we're trying the go fund me.
The go fund me has managed to raise 391$ so far!
Thank you for your support in any form you may give it: reading, sharing or donating.

I’ve had a colostomy for two years and eveyrbing has been going decent with it. Have had some infections (c diff) in the past but those have been gone for months and months. Recently I’ve been experiencing horrible constipation. I can have output on my own but it’s like 1/6th of the bag a day. I have to take tons of laxatives and things to get stuff out. It feels like the intestine and or stoma doesn’t have that “pushing power.” I see my gi first week of June but not really sure what can cause this so suddenly. As I can get output when I want I just have to almost liquify it. Lots of pain when I do the laxatives but not as much when it’s just the no output. Any advice? Thanks

I work at an endoscopy center so I have a good bit of knowledge about digestive issues.. but mine, that's a different story.
I've been sick for about 9 years. Reflux, esophageal stricture, small hernia, esophageal spasms, gastritis, gastric intestinal metaplasia, esophagitis, fecal urgency, gas and bloating, and constipation. I have had biopsies for crohns on my procedures. (Negative) In the past year I've developed more symptoms such as joint and muscle pain, severe itching that's causing me to bruise from scratching so hard, and Bladder pain that makes me feel like I can't make it to restroom. Ive been in physical therapy for 3 months trying to improve some of the joint pain. This week I was diagnosed with inflammation in my left eye with 2 weeks of eye drops. A dr I work with said I need to have a CT because crohns could be deep in my small bowel. My regular GI dr said no but they did blood work and set up the CT for next week.. all docs have different opinions.. I did take 5 days of prednisone and injection in my shoulder that made me feel like I was healed for about 2 weeks.. my whole digestive tract feels inflamed sometimes for several days at the time and no one can understand what I'm saying. My primary doctor was hateful to me when I had a list to show her. It was just basically the same thing I listed above . She said none of it was related and it was just my age. I'm a very active 53 year old and I'm skinny. I just can't accept what she said as an answer.
I think my biggest issue is getting an answer. I would just like to know what's wrong.

I'm not sure where to post this, but i need some opinions/validation/advice/whatever i just want to fix this and make my wife happy. This might jump all over, and I'm sorry but bear with me. I'm also going to attempt to describe the whole situation, but if theres questions i will be happy to answer.
I'll start by saying I(37m) have a high sex drive, and my wife(34f) has a low sex drive. I want/need an orgasm daily whether that be from sex or masturbating. I have been married for 16 years and always been faithful to my wife, and she has always been faithful to me, as far as I know and I have no reason to believe otherwise. To me, the orgasm that I need doesn't have to come from intercourse and i would never cheat on my wife. I'm attracted to her and the emotional connection is what fuels my desire for sex with her. Basically, what I'm saying is that I don't want to have sex with anyone else. I dont sleep well if I haven't had an orgasm, and i lie there in bed feeling bored and frustrated until I fall asleep and I dont feel rested when I wake up in the morning.
There's been some things lately that I'm uncomfortable with, and I don't really know how to describe how it makes me feel, but I'm going to try.
First, I'm a pleaser and my kink is making her cum. I try to be very self aware and i hear complaints about men who get in, bust, and get out leaving their partner unsatisfied and frustrated. I always initiate with foreplay, then i go down on her so she has an orgasm, then we have sex. I tried to have a conversation with her about her wants and i shared mine, and it seems like we both want the same thing. I want to be told what to do, I want to know what she wants me to do to her. I'm not a mind reader and she knows her body better than I ever could. She said she wants to be submissive and not make decisions because she makes decisions all day and doesn't want to in the bedroom. I get it, because that's how i feel as well.
When we have sex she always covers her face with a pillow, I'm not sure why. I've asked her and she says she doesn't know. When i ask her what she wants me to do to her, she shrugs or says I dont know. The only thing ive gotten out of her after years of basically begging her to tell me what she likes or wants is "the only thing off limits is any butt stuff". Got it. I'm not really the type that wants to do anal anyway, it's just not my bag. So it seems like we're compatible, i think. I mean, i dont have a need that's off limits to her, and she doesn't have a need that's off limits to me.
In the past my communication has been has been an issue, and I am aware of my flaws. I suffered an injury that caused sensorineural hearing loss. This has caused me to have a real hard time controlling my tone. Not my volume, but the tone in which I say things so sometimes things sound like I'm being sarcastic or rude when I'm not trying to be. I decided to see a therapist to learn some techniques to better communicate. I've been trying, but it it's not perfect. And hearing aids aren't an option because it doesn't matter how loud the sounds are, there are just some frequencies my brain cant interpret. Certain sounds just sound like im under water, or like im holding cups over my ears.
I told my wife about going to therapy for this and the response was "I've been with you for 13 years since the injury, I know you cant control your tone and I've learned to just listen to what words are said and not how they are said". That's great, but what about every other conversation I have in life? I want to learn skills to better communicate with everyone, because no one will know just by looking at me that I'm not trying to be a dick when I have a "snappy" tone.
During my therapy sessions we have uncovered other traumas that i want to address that have lead to trust issues that I have. And my trust issues are backwards from most peoples. When i was young, i was accused of lying all the time, even when I was being honest. I remember how this made me feel so I always try to trust people more than I probably should. So I've been going to therapy for about six months now.
Last week, my wife asks "are you cheating on me?" I was kind of shocked by this because, 1. I'm not and 2. I'm not sure what behaviors I've displayed to make her question my fidelity. I tell her no, and ask why she would think that. She tells me it's because I'm in therapy, and working on myself. I have referred to my therapy appointments as "going to the gym for my mind". She tells me that I'm perfect for her the way I am and the men that she knows that go to therapy without obvious flaws are either cheating or considering cheating or have some sort of guilt they're dealing with. I can see my therapists notes on the app, i have nothing to hide, so i downloaded them and showed them to her. I'm not sure if she read them, but i made them available to her if she wanted to read them. I know i didn't have to, but maybe this is because i was always accused of being deceptive by my parents and i could prove that i wasnt in this case so i took the opportunity to do that.
I'll add that she grew up in a dysfunctional household and was physically, emotionally, and sexually abused by a close relative for many years. The other day she was complaining about a work colleague and their sexual promiscuity and infidelity. Her colleague was sexually abused when she was younger, and my wife says "abuse victims typically become hyper sexual or have little interest in sex at all. Very few have 'normal' sex lives like me".
Anyway, back to the bedroom parts. Like i said, I need to have an orgasm every day to sleep well, and to feel clear minded. Somehow it came up that I don't feel desired by her because she has never initiated sex. She says "I do too initiate sex, I know I've done it at least once." I told her "no you havent, I would remember it and it would probably be a life changing moment for me to feel desired". I try to initiate that night with her, and she turns me down so I decide to masturbate. I'm not going to the couch because I have kids that could walk in, and I'm tired of doing it on the toilet because it just feels weird to me. Plus, our bathroom is huge with the sliding barn doors so it's not really private anyway. I don't watch porn, i masturbate to thoughts about her. So, I thought to myself. If my wife wanted to have sex with me, and i turned her down, and she began masturbating, how would i feel? I think that would be hot, and perfectly acceptable. So I decide to do it in the bed. I'm not going hard and rattling the bedframe or anything, but she turns over and says "are you playing with yourself?" I brief moment passes where i try to decide if im going to lie, but i dont and say "yes" and she rolls over, climbs on top of me and rides me until i orgasm. A couple days later i try to initiate again, she turns me down, I do the same thing. I'm not doing it to pressure her into having sex, but I'm tired of doing it in the bathroom. This time she rolls over says "are you playing with yourself?" I say, yes and she gets fucking pissed. She tells me that she feels like it makes her feel like she's not loved. I tried to come up with something to say but all i could muster up was "I'm sorry" through the massive lump in my throat and the tears that were brewing in my eyes. I never wanted to make her feel that way, and i never want to do that again. How do i fix this?

4F, 3'3", 41 lbs, white, pain in right leg causing a limp and shoulder and wrist pain since Monday night, no known existing medical issues.
On Monday night my daughter woke up crying that her leg hurt. After a couple hours in which she couldn't sleep and kept crying, we took her to the ER where they performed an XRay and ultrasound of her hips. No issues were found, leading them to conclude it could be transient synovitis (irritation of joint after viral illness) or viral myositis. They said to give her Motrin and monitor.
Four days later, she is still limping and complaining of pain in those areas. It's not debilitating, she is for the most part her usual self, healthy appetite, etc. She can jump and run/walk, though more slowly than normal. But she'll complain it hurts trying to climb up something or sitting down. Last night she woke up saying her leg hurt again, but we gave her Tylenol and she slept soundly the rest of the night.
I'm worried that her pediatrician doesn't really seem to know what's going on (we have seen her twice since the ER visit), which to me indicates this is unusual. They drew blood two days ago and her CMP, creatinine kinase, sedimentation rate were all within normal range. Her CBC values were all within normal range except neutrophils relative (70%), lymphocytes relative (21.3%), and neutrophils absolute (6.79). Her c-reactive protein is 2.1.
We are treating her with Motrin every six hours and Tylenol about once a day. Her pediatrician said to keep watching for any rashes, swelling, bruising, redness around joints, and check back in mid-week next week if she's not any better.
I'm really worried because leading up to Monday night she wasn't sick at all. Googling of course has scared me. I'd appreciate any insights from medical professionals.

Mosquitoes are more than just a nuisance; they pose serious health risks to humans and animals. Ignoring mosquito pest control can lead to significant consequences, ranging from health hazards to economic impacts. Understanding these dangers is crucial for taking proactive measures to manage and control mosquito populations. Here are the key dangers associated with neglecting mosquito pest control.
1. Transmission of Diseases
One of the most significant dangers of ignoring mosquito control is the transmission of mosquito-borne diseases. Mosquitoes are vectors for several serious illnesses that can affect both humans and animals.
Malaria: Caused by Plasmodium parasites, malaria is transmitted by Anopheles mosquitoes. It can lead to severe illness and death, particularly in children and pregnant women.
Dengue Fever: Spread by Aedes mosquitoes, dengue fever can cause high fever, severe headache, pain behind the eyes, joint and muscle pain, and rash. Severe cases can lead to dengue hemorrhagic fever or dengue shock syndrome, both of which can be fatal.
Zika Virus: Also transmitted by Aedes mosquitoes, the Zika virus is particularly dangerous for pregnant women as it can cause birth defects such as microcephaly in babies.
West Nile Virus: Carried by Culex mosquitoes, West Nile Virus can lead to severe neurological diseases in some cases, including encephalitis and meningitis.
Chikungunya: Another virus spread by Aedes mosquitoes, chikungunya causes fever and severe joint pain that can be debilitating and long-lasting.
2. Impact on Quality of Life
Ignoring mosquito control can significantly affect the quality of life for individuals and communities. Mosquito bites are not only irritating but can also cause allergic reactions in some people, leading to swelling, itching, and discomfort. High mosquito populations can make outdoor activities unpleasant and drive people indoors, limiting the enjoyment of gardens, parks, and recreational areas.
3. Economic Consequences
The economic impact of ignoring mosquito control can be substantial. Costs associated with healthcare for mosquito-borne illnesses can be significant, including hospital stays, medications, and long-term treatment for chronic conditions resulting from these diseases. Additionally, high mosquito populations can affect tourism and outdoor businesses, leading to economic losses.
Healthcare Costs: Treating diseases such as malaria, dengue, and West Nile virus can be expensive and place a burden on healthcare systems, especially in regions with limited resources.
Lost Productivity: Illnesses caused by mosquito bites can lead to missed workdays and reduced productivity, affecting both individuals and businesses.
Tourism Impact: Areas known for high mosquito populations and associated health risks may see a decline in tourism, impacting local economies reliant on this industry.
4. Environmental Imbalance
Mosquitoes are part of the ecosystem, but ignoring their control can lead to an imbalance. Uncontrolled mosquito populations can disrupt local ecosystems, affecting the natural predators that feed on mosquitoes, such as birds, bats, and dragonflies. This imbalance can lead to further ecological issues and reduce biodiversity.
5. Psychological Stress
Living in an area with a high mosquito population can cause psychological stress and anxiety. Concerns about mosquito-borne diseases, constant itching from bites, and the disruption of outdoor activities can contribute to mental health issues. The constant buzzing and presence of mosquitoes can also interfere with sleep, leading to fatigue and decreased overall well-being.
6. Pet and Livestock Health
Mosquitoes do not only pose a threat to humans; they can also transmit diseases to pets and livestock. Heartworm is a serious condition transmitted by mosquitoes that affects dogs and cats. In livestock, mosquitoes can spread diseases such as equine encephalitis, which can be fatal to horses.
7. Resistance to Control Methods
Ignoring mosquito control can lead to increased resistance to insecticides. When mosquito populations are not managed properly, there is a higher chance of mosquitoes developing resistance to commonly used chemicals. This makes future control efforts more challenging and less effective, requiring the development of new strategies and potentially more toxic chemicals.
Conclusion
The dangers of ignoring mosquito pest control are far-reaching and significant. From the transmission of serious diseases to economic impacts, environmental imbalances, and psychological stress, the consequences are substantial. Proactive mosquito control measures are essential to protect public health, enhance quality of life, and maintain ecological balance. Investing in mosquito control strategies such as eliminating standing water, using insect repellents, and implementing community-wide control programs can help mitigate these risks and create a safer, healthier environment for everyone. Ignoring the problem is not an option; effective mosquito control is a crucial component of public health and safety.
​

Banned bird......This is a report (Elphaba)
To whom this concerns,
On the evening's 30/4/24- 1/5/24, I was absolutely horrified and left in disgust at the behaviour of one of your creators on tiktok live. Elphaba Orion Doherty, who also uses other accounts to side step account bans, displayed extremely horrifying behaviour that should never be witnessed on the app.
Thousands of people, potentially even many more thousands after the initial incident, were subjected to dangerous suicide baiting behaviour and violent content by Elphaba Orion Doherty. She held a knife to her throat and threatened to kill herself to thousands upon thousands of viewers, whilst appearing to be very unstable after an incident the previous evening of claiming she had self harmed. On the day of the 1/5/24, she was even showing her viewers, who again were in the thousands her self harm "injuries" on her wrist and arm, saying that she would "show them" to her viewers so she could manipulate her audience for more gifts.
Elphaba Orion Doherty was allowed, despite thousands and thousands and thousands of reports for online safety due to the content of brandishing a knife to her own throat, threatening harm to herself and saying she "wants to die" These reports were all received with no violations and the live was allowed to continue for over twenty minutes.
Children under the age of sixteen years of age have self harmed as a result of this. Adults who experience mental health battles have harmed themselves as a result of this. Families and friends of those who have committed suicide have been affected by this.
This creator has a track record of inflammatory behaviour on the app, which again has been reported on numerous occasions because of the very real risk to children who do have access to the app. Not only just children and impressionable young people, but also the vupnerable adults and everhone else who is subjected to this behaviour. The content of this creator suicide baiting, threatening to kill themselves, actively abusing alcohol and narcotics whilst on live is completely unacceptable. If she isn't displaying the above-mentioned behaviour, then she is demanding gifts and money from her viewers, literally demanding.
Due to Elphaba being a trans creator and also young (20 years of age) She is very attractive to the younger generations, the target audience being children as a large percentage of her gifters and viewers are children. She already has an extremely negative influence on these children, with her regular intoxicated ramblings, narcotic induced tantrums, and now suicide baiting and self harming while on live, is a psychological and emotional minefield for children. Elphaba needs IP bans and enforced bans from making other accounts for the safety and well-being of so many people who use the app and platform for welcomed, creative purposes.
On a daily basis, Elphaba breaks the platforms own policies. Please see below. And I am using general terms in referring to youths 13+ who are legally allowed to have accounts and access to the platform.
TIKTOK POLICY BREACHES
•"Youth safety is our priority. We do not allow content that may put young people at risk of exploitation, or psychological, physical, or developmental harm. This includes child sexual abuse material (CSAM), youth abuse, bullying, dangerous activities and challenges, exposure to overtly mature themes, and consumption of alcohol, tobacco, drugs, or regulated substances. If we become aware of youth exploitation on our platform, we will ban the account, as well as any other accounts belonging to the person."
As we are aware that Elphaba Orion Doherty has regularly exploited 13+ youths to emotional and psychological harm by displaying the above mentioned behaviour of suicide baiting, self harm, narcotic and alcohol abuse on a regular basis. Elphaba regularly discusses sexual exhibitionism and sexual assault incidents that have allegedly happened to her, and she routinely sexualises comments and innuendos that are inappropriate entirely. Not to mention how Elphaba regularly manipulates her young viewers for gifts.
•"We are committed to bringing people together in a way that does not lead to physical conflict. We recognize that online content related to violence can cause real-world harm. We do not allow any violent threats, incitement to violence, or promotion of criminal activities that may harm people, animals, or property. If there is a specific, credible, and imminent threat to human life or serious physical injury, we report it to relevant law enforcement authorities."
The platform does have many qualities and content that is perfect for what is described, however Elphaba has threatened to physically harm other creators on a regular basis, has been active in criminal activities such as using narcotics, encouraging underage drinking of alcohol and encouraging dangerous behaviour.
• "TikTok is enriched by the various backgrounds of our community members. Our differences should be respected, rather than a cause for division. We do not allow any hateful behavior, hate speech, or promotion of hateful ideologies. This includes content that attacks a person or group because of protected attributes, including: Caste, Ethnicity, National Origin, Race, Religion, Tribe, immigration status, Gender, Gender Identity, sex, sexual orientation, disability, serious diseases."
Elphaba has repeatedly broken these guidelines which have been reported, again thousands of thousands of times in her lives. She has been transphobic, racist remarks, direct racism to other content creators, discriminatory towards other genders. She has also made sexualised remarks regarding other's sexual identity and violent sexual exhibitionism regarding others of the opposite sex.
• "TikTok is a place where people can come to discuss or learn about sexuality, sex or reproductive health. We are mindful that certain content may not be appropriate for young people, may be considered offensive by some, or may create the potential for exploitation. We do not allow sexual activity or services. This includes sex, sexual arousal, fetish and kink behavior, and seeking or offering sexual services. However, it does not include reproductive health and sex education content."
Elphaba does not host informative content such as sex education or reproductive health discussions. She regularly broadcasts that she wants to find a "man" and how he needs to have particular attributes. She often discusses what she would do to these men, quite graphically which again, is not appropriately for her target audience.
• "We celebrate all shapes and sizes and want people to feel comfortable in how they present themselves and their bodies. We understand societies approach body exposure and clothing differently, so we seek to reflect prevailing cultural norms about nudity. We do not allow nudity, including uncovered genitals and buttocks, as well as nipples and areolas of women and girls. Sheer and partially see-through clothing is not considered covered. We allow regional exceptions for showing nipples and areolas in limited situations, such as medical treatment, educational purposes, or as a part of culturally accepted practices. Not all young people have the developmental maturity to respond to unwanted physical attention and uninvited sexualization, which may lead to psychological or physical harm. We do not allow significant body exposure of young people. Content is age-restricted if it shows significant body exposure of an adult. Content is ineligible for the FYF if it shows moderate body exposure of a young person, or significant body exposure of an adult. We allow regional exceptions for body exposure in limited situations, such as common cultural practices."
Elphaba on more than one occasion has exposed their genitals, full genitals while dancing provocatively in a dress at a club and this video has circulated. She has also exposed herself on her own lives while wearing a different dress on a separate occasion. She has also exposed her chest and cleavage in provocative dresses, including adding make up to accentuate herself to be more visually appealing.
•" TikTok is a place where people can come to discuss or learn about sexuality, sex or reproductive health. We are mindful that certain content may not be appropriate for young people, may be considered offensive by some, or may create the potential for exploitation. We do not allow sexual activity or services. This includes sex, sexual arousal, fetish and kink behavior, and seeking or offering sexual services. However, it does not include reproductive health and sex education content."
Elphaba regularly discusses her sexual preferences and discusses her kinks and broadcasts her sexual desires whilst on live stream. She routinely discusses her slime fetish, venom fetish, vore, human bodily fluids and often discusses masturbation.
• "In a global community, it is natural for people to have different opinions, but we seek to operate on a shared set of facts and reality. We do not allow inaccurate, misleading, or false content that may cause significant harm to individuals or society, regardless of intent. Significant harm includes physical, psychological, or societal harm, and property damage. It does not extend to commercial and reputational harm, nor does it cover simply inaccurate information and myths. We rely on independent fact-checking partners and our database of previously fact-checked claims to help assess the accuracy of content. Content is ineligible for the FYF if it contains general conspiracy theories or unverified information related to emergencies. To be cautious, content that warrants fact-checking is also temporarily ineligible for the FYF while it is undergoing review. To help you manage your TikTok experience, we add warning labels to content related to unfolding or emergency events which have been assessed by our fact-checkers but cannot be verified as accurate, and we prompt people to reconsider sharing such content."
Elphaba regularly discusses dark conspiracies such as governmental conspiracy, wars and conflicts and repeatedly spreads misinformation medically, politically and in general day to day life and has consistently preached anti governmental propaganda.
• "Content shared online may be seen by anyone, and has a wide reach. We are committed to making sure that any personal information shared intentionally or accidentally on TikTok does not lead to harm. We do not allow content that includes personal information that may create a risk of stalking, violence, phishing, fraud, identity theft, or financial exploitation. This includes content that someone has posted themselves or that they consented to being shared by others."
Personal information has been broadcasted by Elphaba where she has, on numerous occasions attempted to "expose" other tiktok creator's who have spoken out against her behaviour. She has actively put out personal information in terms of photos, names, addresses and incited hatred from her own viewers and supporters on these people she believes is against her when these people simply want to make the app safer for everyone involved. Essentially, Elphaba has "doxxed" also known as, leaking private information in the belief to cause malicious harm. She has also financially exploited vulnerable viewers who have sent ridiculously large amounts of gifts in (monetary value) under the agreement or promise of personal interaction on a one to one basis, or to join the live, or her usual speech is "Send a big gift for a follow"
UK LAW BREACHES
• Threatening behaviour with an offensive weapon - This can be prosecuted under The Offensive Weapons Act 2019, Threatening with an offensive weapon etc in a private place – Section 52.
•Threatening behaviour to other creators - This can be prosecuted under the Malicious Communication Act 1988 and the Communications Act 2003. Online threats could take many forms including threats to kill, harm or to commit an offence against a person, group of people or organisation
• Talking sexually to Minors - This can be prosecuted under Section 67 of the Serious Crime Act 2015, Section 15A. Furthermore, it can be prosecuted under Protection of Children Act 1978 if "sexting" occurs towards a minor. To also add that if the offender is under the age of 16, the following legislation can be pursued Protection of Children Act 1978.
• Obtaining money through tiktok gifts and Go fund me under the representation it for transitioning surgery - This can be prosecuted under The Fraud Act 2006, a,b and C, being false representation and misinformation. Other charges under the same bracket can be made due to the nature of the offences.
• Refund fraud, ie ordering food and returning it for monetary gain and at the loss of another - The above act also covers this.
• Fraud committed through the use of computer or mobile, technology devices including using the above mentioned methods to further commit crimes - This is prosecuted under Computer Misuse Act 1990.
• Blackmailing or threatening particular actions or behaviour that is to force someone to do a specific thing - This is prosecuted under The criminal offence of blackmail under the section 21 of the Theft Act 1968.
There are so many more things that could be added to this report.
Also, please see the attached online safety bill, which Elphaba is in direct breach of in regards to her content and live streaming behaviour ;
https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2023/50/enacted
I look forward to your reply.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Scaredoflove11
Rebuttal by u/Roeapparently
AITA for asking my friends what flavor their wedding cake is?
Originally posted to AmItheAsshole
Thanks to u/czechtheboxes & u/USMCLee for suggesting this BoRU
Original Post May 11, 2024
I (22f) am in the wedding party of my friends we will call Em(25f) and Roe(25m) who will be getting married in about 2 months. I have been really excited for the wedding since it'll be an opportunity for all the friends from college to get together for the first time in 2 years. Not to mention Em and Roe are my best friends, or at least I thought they were.
We have a discord for all the wedding stuff and they have a channel about food. They've been really good about being open about the food they intend to have at the reception including vegan/vegitarian/gluten free options for everyone and answering questions so I didn't think there would be any contention if I asked a question.
Anyway, about 4 days ago I posted a message into the discord asking "Hey, what flavor is the cake gonna be? I wanna mentally prepare myself lol." I think looking back my choice of extra words is what caused all this, but I meant it in the sense that I have a long documented dislike of chocolate flavored foods like cake or ice cream. So I added it in the event the cake was chocolate.
I recieved a private message back that the cake would be chocolate and that if I had a problem with it then I could "shove it" cause it was their wedding not mine. And i felt really taken aback by this response.
Never did I mention that I would have been upset and I certainly wouldn't have put up a stink about it. Its exactly like Em had said, it's their wedding. I explained as much and tried to apologize for any offending I did but she got even more defensive and started basically blasting me for implying that she was offended and I was just left overall very confused.
I gave it two days before I tried to apologize again and smooth it over figuring she may have just been having a bad day but I got shut down again telling me she didn't need my apology cause nothing was wrong and I needed time stop trying to make it seem like shit was wrong between us and to just drop it.
I texted Roe to see if I could gauge what was going on since he and I have always had an open dialogue about things like this but he basically just told me he couldn't talk to me right now and I have to imagine its cause Em told him not to.
Its been 2 days since then and I'm just really confused. This whole thing has made me want to drop out of the wedding party and honestly not go at all. I wish Roe would talk to me and Em would be honest. I can't help but think maybe I just don't get how stressful planning a wedding is and like maybe theyve gotten pushback from other people on other things and somehow its being taken out on me? Or is it really a big no no to ask stuff like this? I don't know? This is the first wedding i'll have ever gone to, so am I the asshole?
VERDICT: ASSHOLE
In the comments "Roe" appears
Roe is u/Roeapparently
Here May 11, 2024
Hey Izzy. Not surprised you didn’t share the whole story. You never do. Just like last year’s surprise party for Em (tldr: Izzy here spoiled the surprise and tried to claim my present was hers).
I’m “Roe”, the groom to be. I don’t do Reddit, but my best man does and frequents this thread. He saw this post and it was so obvious it’s you. This whole cake thing did happen but it is NOT the whole story and did NOT go the way Izzy claims.
First off, cake was not her only complaint. You refused to have a joint bachelobachelorette dinner cause “I have poor taste”, you said my suit was tacky cause I wanted white and not traditional black, you whined about the bridesmaids dresses being purple cause you wanted Ivory. Any decision we’ve made there’s ALWAYS a complaint. And Em has done nothing but be patient and try and find common ground. She should not have to change her wedding choices for you.
Second, we NEVER told you to “shove it”. Em only messaged you privately because she was tired of having to argue in the group chat. Everyone else is tired of your bullshit too so we didn’t want to bother them with it. It’s a cake. Eat it or don’t.
You have hated me ever since I joined the friend group. And that’s fine! But you will NOT ruin Em’s day because of your pettiness. If you care about her, then honor her decisions. Of COURSE Em is different! Cause she grew tf up! All of us did except you! My god you’re fucking 22, stop acting like a spoiled teenager, chocolate cake will not kill you (btw asshole I’m 26 not 25, pay attention). I wasn’t angry about this until you decided to go to the internet for pity. It’s pathetic and immature.
For the record, Em double checked my response. She signed off on it. Get it together.
OOP

Its pathetic and immature to anonymously post asking for advice on Reddit but you coming here starting shit and posting my real name isn't? Okay, Marcus, since we're not hiding anymore how does it feel to have your shit aired for real? Here's how I KNOW Em didn't sign off, becuase she never would have agreed to using my real name.
You're just trying to get me upset at her too. She's my best friend, and I should have known you'd do this. You always try to manipulate us into being mad at each other. Case in point when I had planned this really awesome dinner for just her and I and you had to plan her suprise party for the same day. I just wanted alone time with my best friend but you couldn't wait one day for the party.
Em has known me far longer than you, and no offense, I'm sure I know her better than you do. But I've kept my mouth shut because I love her and just want her to be happy.
I complain about everything? Then how come I've never said anything about the hundreds of times you've made Em cancel plans with me to go hang out with you? I just wanted my bff to spend a little time with me. We're not allowed to have sleepovers anymore cause it "makes you uncomfy" or take a girls trip for the weekend because "too expensive". Sorry you can't take care of her like I can. Some of us can afford rent. Clearly this was never about the cake and more so about you hating me. I was fine when you joined the friend group, but you clearly weren't fine with mine and Ems relationship. You've been the same towards some of her other friends who I'm sure would agree.
Get a life Marcus. Stop trying to take mine.

Roeapparently

She was fine using your name. You brought this to the internet, not us. If you didn't want this attention, don't post.
The plan was for you to distract her while we setup the party by taking her to a movie, not going to the movies then taking her to dinner and TELLING HER OF THE PARTY. We waited hours expecting y'all to be back.
I have never once made Em cancel. She always did that on her own, and not frequently at all. You have had plenty of time alone with her. Just because she spends time with me too doesn't mean I'm forcing her to. And yes, a trip to multiple countries across Europe is very much too expensive. We already live paycheck to paycheck, which you know. I know money isn't a concern for you but it very much is for us. Not all of us have apartments paid for by dad.
Nobody else seems to think the same things about me, and if I'm wrong I will gladly listen and change. But that requires communication directly, not anonymous Reddit posts. You may have known her longer, but you clearly don't know Em well. You fail to see how miserable your comments and attitude have made her these past few months. For her sake, knock it off.

OOP

"Paid by daddy" real mature asshole. You know I work hard like everyone else. Its not my fault my parents made better decisions than yours and can actually help their kids. And of course I wasn't just gonna take her to the movies on her birthday a rouse or not it was still her birthday and shes my friend and I love her and wanted her to an actually decent meal other than the shitty pizza you bought for her.
Also yeah maybe you didn't tell Em to cancel, but knowingly asking for plans when we had them is basically the same thing. Before you, she was fine. She had everything she needed. And for all of you in the comments saying I have a crush or want to fuck Em, you're delusional and know nothing about me. We're best friends. I love her. She loves me. Not my fault we have natural chemistry that everyone over the internet can feel. But its not like that.
Marcus you're an asshole. You've been an asshole since day one. Just admit you're not the guy who can give her what she needs and move the fuck on and leave us alone.

~
MHH370

Hey u/Scaredoflove11 did you really make a fuss because you wanted the bridemaid's dress to be ivory instead of purple?

Also u/Roeapparently did you really make your fiance cancel sleepovers because it made you uncomfortable?

Roeapparently

No. I never made Em cancel anything. I'm fine with her having sleepovers. Izzy wanted to do it at our apartment and kept begging Em to have me sleep on the couch so I wouldn't ruin "girls night". For the record, Em shut it down not me. She's capable of making her own decisions, I trust her to set her boundaries. If I came off as uncomfortable, Izzy never mentioned it till now

ImissBagels

Does Em even still want Izzy there? Because Izzy is sounding more and more unhinged. How did she try to steal your bday present to Izzy?

Roeapparently

Em still wants Izzy there. they've been friends for years. I won't make her kick her out, but I'm starting to reach the point where I want it. And no she didn't steal it. She claimed she purchased the gift cause "i was too poor to afford it". It was a rather expensive purse Em eyed once while shopping but couldn't get at the time, so I saved for it.

FINAL COMMENT BY u/Roeapparently

You're proving my point. I'm not gonna argue over Reddit anymore over this, especially if you're gonna talk about my parents like that when you know full well why they aren't rich. Either message us in private or drop it all together. If this is how you really feel, don't bother coming to the wedding.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
**DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS

i can gurentee you the fear and anxiety of having any std will kill you before the actual std (which does not even present in your body mostly).cz except of warts the other symptoms of almost every std imitiate the common flu symptoms.telling from the personal experience i got every test nagative but still there is something inside me which cant let me admit that im fully std free.especially people of my age in early 20s are happend to be most depressed.cz in that age harmones changes in the body and it comes with lot of new changes in the body which a person ecperience and again it matches the std symptoms.So i just wanna say that if u get nagative result be chill u r all good dont think too much cause depression and anxiety is more serious than std.if u dont beleive search it.more people die cz of depression thn std. And the best thing is that you should have one partner and that should be your wife.You should think why most of the religion forbid us to not have have sex before marriage.the diseases are the main reason. i hope every one would agree with my thought

So, and yes this is kinda inspired by demon slayer, the idea is that through intense breathing techniques you can cause cause your breath to "burn" the substances in your stomach and exhale smoke of various forms. You might ingest something poisonous and burn it as fuel to exhale a poisonous gas. You might ingest something that would produce heavy smoke then exhale a blinding veil.
Certain breathing techniques burn hotter, allowing you too physically burn your opponents. Some techniques propel farther or wider, allowing better range or spread.
Maybe you can also ingest special potions for different effects. Like explosive projectiles.
The price for this is that you do physically damage your lungs and throat every time you do this. Causing coughing fits that can be just painful and irritating to completely debilitating as you slouch over cough up ash.
I don't know if this is all nonsense, but I thought it was interesting.

Bit of a story - cathartic to write it down so please humour me. Background: 50 yo. Started with pelvic issues when around 16 years - had loads of urodynamics - cystoscope, flow tests but none conclusive so sent on my way! Just ended up living with it - back then late 80s not much in the way of resources to look things up! Never mind support groups like this :) Now over 30 years later I reflect back on how much it impacted me mentally - I used to be quite extrovert and at sixteen just coming out of myself - wanting to find a gf, etc. But the pelvic issues totally knocked my self confidence, self esteem - always felt like I was wetting myself - sweating in class ruminating on whether or not to put my hand up to leave for yet another wee, thinking everyone was watching me. I could never pee at wall urinal if anyone else in the bathrooms. Exams were a nightmare! I kind of just accepted it in the end and lived with it - that need to pee more than most people - maybe I just had a small/overactive bladder and things did settle enough that I could get on with life. At 21 I did finally get a gf but in hindsight it ended up being quite a toxic relationship- i think I was always too desperate to keep the peace and let her walk all over me due to my lack of self. My bladder issues would flare every couple of years- usually when I’ve been stressed - invariably the GPs would give me antibiotics just in case of a uti (despite no tests ever being conclusive) which did help- now knowing more about antibiotics it was probs more down to their anti-inflammatory properties or maybe a placebo effect. Here I am two divorces down the line but thankfully in a really equal supportive relationship the last 9 years. Self confidence has grown over the many years - I think as we get older we give less of a shit on how other people perceive us , or at least I do! You’d think I’d knocked all the pelvic issues on the head but I think it’s been a a ticking time bomb. I have always struggled with anxiety not helped with stressful divorces - battles over children/finances is no fun - so when the pandemic hit I have to admit i was super covid anxious and was hyper careful. Mad really in hindsight! But no one really knew fa in 2020. Then in 2021 I suffered an injury to my testicles - my stupid dog jumped up at me. After three weeks I was still having throbbing pains so the GP suspected epididymitis and some kind of infection and ‘just in case’ (as there was a waiting list for scans) prescribed me Cipro. OMG - hindsight would be a wonderful thing -suffice to say I had a bad reaction, couldn’t walk properly due to pain for several months , had bad GI issues, neurological flashing pains and other weird shit. Also a lot of anger that GPs dish them out like smarties. This did not help my anxiety- but weirdly my pelvic issues were calm given the stress. Until May 22 when my partner got Covid . So stressed about catching it seemed to tip me over the edge and my bladder flared big time. Constant tingling in meatus, urgency, pain in pelvis. Urologist did US, flow and blood tests but only thing wrong was poor flow which I’ve always had. So referred me to an IC specialist. He was useless , barely listened , didn’t do any tests and just prescribed me solafenacin and hydroxyzine . The hydroxyzine did help my sleep and I kind of got back a new level normal . I did see a PPT but didn’t really help. I did ask my gp for amitriptyline in Dec 22 which helped even more and most of my aches and pains subsided. NOW: a few weeks ago all my symptoms came roaring back. Lot of discomfort , barely able to sleep. Anxious about cancer. Yesterday New Urologist has reassured me that if I’d had cancer this last two years I’d know about it by now so still thinks it’s pelvic related. He’s booked me in for MRI to check prostrate. My psa is normal and it was a normal size when checked with US two years ago so it’s more just to rule it out. Also prescribed Toviaz (Fesoterodine) to see if that helps. To add. I’ve worked in IT all my career - desk based, sitting down. Relatively fit - used to cycle most weekends, play racquet ball, , run, hill walking. Cipro did stop of a lot of exercises but as I’ve recovered have started climbing at the local climbing gym. Climbing does weirdly help - when I’m doing it my discomfort does ease - maybe all the stretching moves. Has anyone any other advice they can offer up? Just sick of the constant tinkling in meatus and aches below tummy button . Thanks for bearing with me!

Several signs may indicate that you need to have your wisdom teeth removed:

1. Pain or discomfort: Pain in the back of your mouth, particularly around the area where your wisdom teeth are erupting, can be a sign that they need to be removed.
   
2. Swelling: Swelling of the gums in the back of your mouth or swelling around the jawline can be indicative of impacted wisdom teeth.
   

3.Difficulty opening your mouth: If your wisdom teeth are causing crowding or impaction, you may experience difficulty opening your mouth fully.

1. Tender or bleeding gums: Tender, swollen, or bleeding gums around your back molars can be a sign of gum disease or infection associated with your wisdom teeth.
   
2. Jaw stiffness: Stiffness or soreness in your jaw, particularly in the morning, can be a symptom of problems with your wisdom teeth.
   
3. Repeated infections: If you experience recurring infections in the gums around your wisdom teeth, it may be a sign that they need to be removed to prevent further issues.
   
4. Cysts or tumors: In rare cases, the development of cysts or tumors around impacted wisdom teeth may cause swelling or other symptoms.
   

If you're experiencing any of these signs or symptoms, it's essential to see a dentist or oral surgeon for evaluation. They can assess your wisdom teeth and recommend the appropriate course of action, which may include removal if necessary.

Telling my friend to not talk to my best friend causing my best friend to not talk to me
Telling my friend to not talk to my best friend causing my best friend to not talk to me.
I told my "friend" to boycott my "best friend" causing him to boycott me.
So this is going to be long rambly and just weird rant. before starting I am not trying to make it right now, just you guys decide who is in wrong.
There are 4 characters in this rant (all my friends). First one name is V second name is A and third one is S and me myself and all are basically teenagers.
Some information:- A was my best friend out of them. We hit off pretty well.
For a few days my friends was playing cricket which I personally don't like much so one day my friends decided to play cricket at S's place. I wasn't feeling like it so I called S that I wasn't coming. Even after telling him, my "friends" constantly called me. I was busy so I put my phone in silent. And A starts cursing me using S's phone. I curse back (typical friend behaviour in our group) but S's parents read only my curses as "someone" deleted curses from other side. Later S comes my home to fight but he was chilled down by other friends BUT I got some info later that night that "A deleted messages" from V so I stopped talking to A (boycott A for a few days) and asked V who is in wrong which V replied A so I told him to boycott A too.
So from next day A didn't talk to me (still isn't). I tried to talk with A as I didn't know what had happened.
Few weeks Later V tells me that A wants me to say sorry to him in order for him to talk to me. I am like wtf you started and now you want me to say SORRY to you. Even after this I was still talking to A (my biggest mistake) but he wasn't responding and boycotting me
So what happened is A read my PERSONAL DM sent to V (V's phone was unlocked) and got upset (he felt like a toy who anyone can fuck with) and now wants ME to say SORRY to him. After arguing a lot and I mean a lot with him I broke "friendship" with him.
Later I tried to say sorry as whatever he was my best friend for idk 7,8 yrs but I got stopped by V and as it was his problem not mine so I deleted message that I sent to him.
Today I got to know that since childhood A didn't got attention by his parents and after getting boycotted by his "best(idk) friend" (me) he felt like a toy and now curses me every time.
So reddit who is wrong here? I need your opinions

Telling my friend to not talk to my best friend causing my best friend to not talk to me
Telling my friend to not talk to my best friend causing my best friend to not talk to me.
I told my "friend" to boycott my "best friend" causing him to boycott me.
So this is going to be long rambly and just weird rant. before starting I am not trying to make it right now, just you guys decide who is in wrong.
There are 4 characters in this rant (all my friends). First one name is V second name is A and third one is S and me myself and all are basically teenagers.
Some information:- A was my best friend out of them. We hit off pretty well.
For a few days my friends was playing cricket which I personally don't like much so one day my friends decided to play cricket at S's place. I wasn't feeling like it so I called S that I wasn't coming. Even after telling him, my "friends" constantly called me. I was busy so I put my phone in silent. And A starts cursing me using S's phone. I curse back (typical friend behaviour in our group) but S's parents read only my curses as "someone" deleted curses from other side. Later S comes my home to fight but he was chilled down by other friends BUT I got some info later that night that "A deleted messages" from V so I stopped talking to A (boycott A for a few days) and asked V who is in wrong which V replied A so I told him to boycott A too.
So from next day A didn't talk to me (still isn't). I tried to talk with A as I didn't know what had happened.
Few weeks Later V tells me that A wants me to say sorry to him in order for him to talk to me. I am like wtf you started and now you want me to say SORRY to you. Even after this I was still talking to A (my biggest mistake) but he wasn't responding and boycotting me
So what happened is A read my PERSONAL DM sent to V (V's phone was unlocked) and got upset (he felt like a toy who anyone can fuck with) and now wants ME to say SORRY to him. After arguing a lot and I mean a lot with him I broke "friendship" with him.
Later I tried to say sorry as whatever he was my best friend for idk 7,8 yrs but I got stopped by V and as it was his problem not mine so I deleted message that I sent to him.
Today I got to know that since childhood A didn't got attention by his parents and after getting boycotted by his "best(idk) friend" (me) he felt like a toy and now curses me every time.
So reddit who is wrong here? I need your opinions

Telling my friend to not talk to my best friend causing my best friend to not talk to me.
I told my "friend" to boycott my "best friend" causing him to boycott me.
So this is going to be long rambly and just weird rant. before starting I am not trying to make it right now, just you guys decide who is in wrong.
There are 4 characters in this rant (all my friends). First one name is V second name is A and third one is S and me myself and all are basically teenagers.
Some information:- A was my best friend out of them. We hit off pretty well.
For a few days my friends was playing cricket which I personally don't like much so one day my friends decided to play cricket at S's place. I wasn't feeling like it so I called S that I wasn't coming. Even after telling him, my "friends" constantly called me. I was busy so I put my phone in silent. And A starts cursing me using S's phone. I curse back (typical friend behaviour in our group) but S's parents read only my curses as "someone" deleted curses from other side. Later S comes my home to fight but he was chilled down by other friends BUT I got some info later that night that "A deleted messages" from V so I stopped talking to A (boycott A for a few days) and asked V who is in wrong which V replied A so I told him to boycott A too.
So from next day A didn't talk to me (still isn't). I tried to talk with A as I didn't know what had happened.
Few weeks Later V tells me that A wants me to say sorry to him in order for him to talk to me. I am like wtf you started and now you want me to say SORRY to you. Even after this I was still talking to A (my biggest mistake) but he wasn't responding and boycotting me
So what happened is A read my PERSONAL DM sent to V (V's phone was unlocked) and got upset (he felt like a toy who anyone can fuck with) and now wants ME to say SORRY to him. After arguing a lot and I mean a lot with him I broke "friendship" with him.
Later I tried to say sorry as whatever he was my best friend for idk 7,8 yrs but I got stopped by V and as it was his problem not mine so I deleted message that I sent to him.
Today I got to know that since childhood A didn't got attention by his parents and after getting boycotted by his "best(idk) friend" (me) he felt like a toy and now curses me every time.
So reddit who is wrong here? I need your opinions

Proper maintenance of an optimum level of humidity in your indoor spaces is necessary for enjoying a great, healthy, and convenient life. Some of the reasons are stated below why using a humidifier is good for you:

1. Improves Respiratory Health It increases the level of moisture in the air, hence relieving the symptoms of respiratory conditions that exacerbate under such conditions, for instance, a dry throat, sinus congestion, and irritated nasal passages. This is always helpful during the cold-winter months when the indoor air becomes dry because of indoor heating.
2. Skin Hydration Proper humidification of the air means proper skin hydration. This can mean that breakouts and further exacerbations of eczema and dry skin are avoided.
3. Reduces the Risk of Infections Humidity helps the survival of bacteria and viruses in the air. Maintaining a humid environment can reduce this survival, leading to a less likely infection during flu season.
4. Preservation of Wooden Furniture and Musical Instruments Since humidity maintains the moisture/air balance required in the air, dry air will prove to be harmful to musical instruments and wooden objects of any type, resulting in cracks and warps.
5. Proper Sleep Proper humidity levels will help reduce snoring and improve the quality of sleep. Moisturized air ensures that the throat and nasal passages do not dry out; this can be achieved for comfortable and sound sleep.
6. Alleviates Allergy Symptoms A humidifier helps alleviate symptoms of allergies by keeping the air moist and making it hard for allergens to be caught, ensuring the environment remains comfortable for them.
7. Their benefits to houseplants A humidifier can help keep your plants adequately moist and allows you to thrive in the right conditions with appropriate growth and general health upkeep.

Running a humidifier is a quick, relatively simple way to enhance air quality in your house, increase comfort, and hopefully boost health. A humidifier can add to your place in an awfully good way, from helping you breathe easier, to keeping your skin moist and your possessions safe.

I told my "friend" to boycott my "best friend" causing him to boycott me.
So this is going to be long rambly and just weird rant. before starting I am not trying to make it right now, just you guys decide who is in wrong.
There are 4 characters in this rant (all my friends). First one name is V second name is A and third one is S and me myself and all are basically teenagers.
Some information:- A was my best friend out of them. We hit off pretty well.
For a few days my friends was playing cricket which I personally don't like much so one day my friends decided to play cricket at S's place. I wasn't feeling like it so I called S that I wasn't coming. Even after telling him, my "friends" constantly called me. I was busy so I put my phone in silent. And A starts cursing me using S's phone. I curse back (typical friend behaviour in our group) but S's parents read only my curses as "someone" deleted curses from other side. Later S comes my home to fight but he was chilled down by other friends BUT I got some info later that night that "A deleted messages" from V so I stopped talking to A (boycott A for a few days) and asked V who is in wrong which V replied A so I told him to boycott A too.
So from next day A didn't talk to me (still isn't). I tried to talk with A as I didn't know what had happened.
Few weeks Later V tells me that A wants me to say sorry to him in order for him to talk to me. I am like wtf you started and now you want me to say SORRY to you. Even after this I was still talking to A (my biggest mistake) but he wasn't responding and boycotting me
So what happened is A read my PERSONAL DM sent to V (V's phone was unlocked) and got upset (he felt like a toy who anyone can fuck with) and now wants ME to say SORRY to him. After arguing a lot and I mean a lot with him I broke "friendship" with him.
Later I tried to say sorry as whatever he was my best friend for idk 7,8 yrs but I got stopped by V and as it was his problem not mine so I deleted message that I sent to him.
Today I got to know that since childhood A didn't got attention by his parents and after getting boycotted by his "best(idk) friend" (me) he felt like a toy and now curses me every time.
So reddit who is wrong here? I need your opinions

Did you know that memories aren’t real? No? Not really, you can misremember or change a memory without ever knowing you have. It’s a sinisterly important fact for me, some would be worried but I find it freeing, I can share this memory without fear or shame. I most likely haven’t remembered what happened as it happened, and considering what happened on the 9th of May all those years ago, I’d say it’s likely I don’t remember. It’s a relief really that memories aren’t real; I have always hated talking about my memories, about myself in general. In my experience, people are not interested in what I have to say, unless it relates to them or it makes me look less than them. Maybe it’s all in my head, everything is really. I’m not the most people friendly these days, I think you could call me a cynic, I call myself a cynic, but I’ll try and keep true to this memory, without the influence of hindsight and my cynicism.
It’s about that puddle and the 9th of May. Why the specifically the 9th of May? Well I don’t actually know why that day, it could have easily been the 8th, the difference is hours. I do wish I could change the setting; it’s almost poetic, I could always be misremembering, it was a long time ago, and I have been told many times since that I have a flair for the dramatic. A dark and rainy night, with the wind howling, well that’s a backdrop I can enjoy.
I’m sorry. Let me start at the beginning for the sake of clarity, otherwise I’ll never finish what I start to say, and I’ll never say what I need to say.
Once upon a time I went to a party. I enjoyed drinking back then, a healthy amount for most people, but for me, a dangerous amount, I had a tendency to get inside my head when I drink.
No again I’m sorry, that’s not the memory I want to share, I want to tell the 9th of May, I think this memory will be harder to tell than I first thought.
It was a birthday party for a friend, well a friend of a friend, I knew two people there, I was speaking my wisdom at the party, normally people would just nod and slide away from that kind of wisdom, but this was during the university days, everyone is intelligent, insightful and understanding at university. We few were the self-proclaimed leaders of the future, and so understood all, my green wisdom spewed with no start or finish was always well received. I remember some of what I said, you can walk into any pub or club and listen to the drunkest person in the room, they would have spewed the same wisdom, wisdom that I thought at the time was original and wise, but really was just old sentiment repeated with new words. Despite what I wanted at the time, wisdom comes with age, not self-assurance.
But this time was my spring years, that sweet age just before I faced reality, the real harsh reality of life, I had just begun to explore the world inside my bubble, and my exploration lead me onto the well-trodden path of clubbing and drinking, the respectable rebellion. I began as I always did, by talking, talking of going to some event, a lecture, a monument, an underground pub, of all the things I could do that evening, the places I could go, I and the other future leaders of the world, the potential was ours to squander. This ended as it always would, in that night club, the very same one I would always go to, my slice of reality. Apologies my dear reader, I have a cynical mind, it’s hard to keep at bay, I’ll admit that I haven’t really tried to keep it from being an influence here, I can’t seem to help myself, but this next part of the memory is less clear, but I can relay it with a real, shame filled joy. This part of the memory feels more like a dream now, I don’t have the energy to do what I did that night, I don’t have the energy for much these days, I think that makes the memory more fond to me, drinking, dancing, worry free. Maybe fond was the wrong word to use here, jealous is more fitting, jealous of the innocence and time I wasted. The power of a drink back then was incredible; I miss the feeling, that burn in the mouth, the after taste, the saliva, the heat in your chest, and that feeling of being unstoppable. Of course drink has more than one effect, and while I’d like to believe my cloudy memory is caused by false and misremembered facts, or by the merging of a hundred single nights into one endless night, that’s too poetic. No, the memory is clouded by the amount I drunk that night, and many years after as I tried to forget this very memory.
Yet despite this, even now, the fragments still makes me smile, whether it’s because I enjoy the memories of the innocence I held then, or I’m jealous of them I cannot say, I’m a self-proclaimed cynic, not a philosopher or a psychologist, I’ll leave the analysis to better men than me. Instead I’ll try to give you an idea of what happened in the club without my opinions bleeding through. This night in the club was no different from all the others, they all start the same. Moving around the club in a daze, my head feeling big and unsteady, but also incredibly light and empty, my fingertips warm, my feet numb, I remember dancing to songs, dancing on tables, screaming out lyrics, smoking outside, stealing a bottle of champagne, fixing my hair in a mirror, buying a round of drinks, the lights flashing, the bass thumping, fog spewing, standing on my own staring at the old chandelier, crawling on the floor looking for money, I remember walking out the club and how quiet everything seemed in comparison while I tried to keep standing in the night air, looking at my hands, how bright the lights were, how blurry the world seemed and how beautiful the moon was that night. Here, here the memory starts to come back into focus, the bright street lights and night air always helped me to sober up at night, plus I’ve always enjoyed being outside in the dark night or under the moonlight, I find it comforting to stand under the moon, it’s as if I’m suddenly alive.
As I came to my senses my memory sharpened, but that’s all, my drunkenness remained. I was with a couple of friends, some who I had been at the party with and some who I met in the club, we got food, and we spent such a long time talking, our conversations were mixed, some happy, some sad, all just more green wisdom. Much later on, me and my friend, maybe the one I went to the party with (it might have been someone else, who’s to say?), walked back towards our homes not because we wanted to walk as we said over and over to our screeching friends, but because the taxi was expensive and we couldn’t afford it, we lived in different places but close enough that we could walk together. Its funny to think of this moment, back then I had the money for a taxi, but I wouldn’t spend it on a taxi, now that I’m a poor man, I’ll spend money I don’t have on taxis I don’t need, apparently the youthful idiot I was, was wiser than I am now in some regards after all.
I don’t remember walking with my friend, or rather, I know where we went, how long it took and what we probably talked about, I had walked this walk so many times before this night, and so many after, they are all the same memory to me now, I enjoyed the walking in the night, the exhilaration of that has stayed with me more than the company on those walks. I always used to break it down into three segments, and so that’s how it comes back to me now. Leaving the club, past the library, past the race track, over the river across the bridge, up the steep hill, past the first university gates (which were actually the back gates), round the campus on the public roads, to the second gates (which are the main gates), a long walk with company, a painfully short one with alone. He was still living on the Campus my friend, I lived about ten minutes away from the campus, I said goodbye and goodnight, we agreed to speak in the morning if we survived. He went through the back gates and headed towards the halls, I continued on my way, onto the second segment of the walk past the gates.
I was on my own for the rest of the walk; this happened a lot, both during my university days and many years after. I lived on the opposite side of the campus to most of my friends so this part of the walk was always mine alone, even when I started the night with the people I lived with. I didn’t mind, it was nice to enjoy the feeling of being drunk without having to show I was drunk, a few assured moments of peace under the moon light. I never deviated from my path, round the outside of the campus, opposite some housing estates, till I got next to a little shop that sold cheap, bottles of spirit. I would always stop for a moment to wish that shop was open.
Then it was down that straight road, the final part of my walk, big houses on either side, well-lit but not busy. It looked like it was a five minute walk but once you started it felt like it was never ending, and at the end of the night, in the night air, it was never ending. Sometimes I would run, sprint to see if I could make it to the end of that road without stopping, something to break the monotony of walking, other times to tire myself out so I could fall straight to sleep, and sometimes just because I wanted to run. Nearly every day for two years I walked down that road to go clubbing shopping or studying, to go for a meal, see a film, meet a friend, it was a constant part of my life, an unwanted companion and witness. Walking down that road, reader I don’t think I’m able to describe how I hated that road, but I always walked down that road, there were other ways I could walk, quicker ways, but I always took that road.
This particular night, actually at this point I suppose it was the morning. I was walking down that road in the rain and dark between the streetlights, bitterly cold staring straight into a street light walking on the right hand side. I’d always walk on the right hand side, I’m not sure why, whenever I walked on the left I had a bad day. Except for on the 9th, the 9th is the one exception.
I have no clue where the car came from; I didn’t see it until after the jump, just a blurred headlight, a door, a wing mirror. The driver, the make, the model, even the color is a mystery. It appeared and left like a phantom. There was no thought, I moved forward, but I don’t recognize that I was the one who leapt forward.
I remember the fall. I fell backwards. As if my strings had been cut and I fell limp into the puddle, there was no splash as I landed in that puddle.
The feeling I felt in that puddle, it was something I had never felt before or since, an overwhelming pull I was powerless against, I pray to never to feel it again.
Should I describe it? How to describe it? I have to describe it. I can describe the fear it inspired, but not yet, it’s easier to describe fear, but this isn’t meant to be easy, this memory never is. No the actual feeling, that’s harder, It wasn’t a happy emotion, not a powerful emotion, not a sad emotion. Hopelessness? Yes it was hopelessness. Nothing more, nothing less. No hope for the future, no point to anything, I think it is possibly the only time I felt hopelessness. You can’t live without hope.
I couldn’t stand could I? No, I wouldn’t have laid there if I could, to begin with I didn’t want to, didn’t care to, my legs wouldn’t move, arms were like stone, every muscle in my body cramped, I could feel everything. My eyes were open, rain hitting them, rain dripped from my lips to my chin, it tickled. The fingertips were warm, hair moved, stand by stand off my face. Puddle water lapped against my cheek, socks soaking up water, shirt getting tighter and heavier, jacket sleeves filling up with water, keys and wallet resting on my leg. I just lay there staring at nothing, seeing nothing.
I think to begin with I was gone; that everything I held myself up to and was trying to achieve, had suddenly left me, except my memories, memories that weren’t real. For the longest time that’s how I was, empty, even down to my emotions there was nothing I laid there empty. I could feel my body, but I couldn’t move it, I wasn’t welcome, I felt awkward, out of place.
I’m not sure how long I lay there, dead (I had to be dead because I had no hope), it could have been a minute; it could have been hours, days or years.
The light was wrong. It was dark, only the light seemed to come from a streetlight, the sky was empty, the moon had left me.
Some portion of my mind came back, I started crying, I had failed, failed at even this simple task, I lay for a long time waiting, waiting for something else to come, I should have gotten up, but I just lay there waiting, I was muttering my secret . If that had been my mind for the rest of my days, I would have spent those days in that puddle unmoving; declared brain dead on the spot. The moment raises such disgust in me, I grieved my most important failure, hated my greatest success.
I’d like to lie here, to say anything other than the truth, to save myself the pain and the shame, but I said I would try to tell this memory as it was, not as I wish it, so while I’d like to say I had a vison, a burst of strength, that hope returned to me, I can’t, because in reality it was two words that saved me.
Two words. The Two words that cut through it all. I’m still not sure if I just heard them from somewhere else, said it myself or imagined it afterwards. “Get up” it was angry, disgusted, the words were almost spat out, “Get up”. Those words have burned themselves into my mind, and affected me every day since. The fear and inspiration it awoke in my mind, throat pricked and butterflies in my stomach, anxiety. Next to the hopelessness it seemed like life had spoken, with a voice that wielded fear.
I took control of my body then……
No dear reader I didn’t…. I am almost finished, I have to be true to the memory, I can’t spare myself now, it’s too late for me to take it back. I didn’t take control, I wasn’t there yet, it took me such a long time to regain control again, but it gave my eyes back to me for I had seen nothing long before the fall. I watched as fear drove me, took the strings of my life and moved them, dragging my shell in the dust, screaming.
I cursed everyone and everything, hated myself for what had happened, Oh and the fear, fear of the voice, fear of dying, the fear that someone would see me at this moment, see me and misunderstand me, I didn’t want to die,(I don’t want to die now) I was terrified that I had tried to die, terrified I didn’t know where that urge came from, that moment of energy and intention that was actioned without the consent of my mind, that I was powerless against.
Fear drove me, commanded me out of that puddle. I’d gone insane, truly, completely, utterly mad, I was dragging myself to the curb, screaming, crying, laughing, I ripped my finger nails out, shredded my palms and hands into bloody messes my knees into bruised pulp, my head and face cut by being dragged along.
I heaved up that curb fucking curb, shaking. I started to stand and scramble forward, to escape that spot, that puddle on that road. I stood up hunched and bent, buffet by the wind, laughing, crying, waving my hands in all directions spitting, shouting, wiping blood on my jeans, I was staggering side to side shaking, soaked to the bone, I was mad, insane, disgraced and humiliated.
Why say more? I won’t go further, there is so much more but to understand it…. This was not the place for such memories. That moment all those years ago, was not the eureka moment, the next day I turned this into a joke, a story to tell.
To this day, I cannot tell you what really happened that night all those years ago, as I sit here writing and rewriting the words over and over. I don’t think I’ll ever understand it. I wonder what would happened if I could relive that night again, doing everything again now.
This was the time that my bubble began to burst and the real world hit me like a wave. Perhaps it was just a moment of growing pains. I’ve said it before, I’m only a cynic, all I have left is the memory of the 9th of May, a memory I visit daily.

I don't know what flair to use, so for now it sits at the "Advice" flair.
I found out 3 days ago now that my long-distance boyfriend has been cheating me for 5 months, several of these times being times where I've asked for his time due to my already existing mental issues but have been met with "I have to do x thing with my family, I don't have choice" and me fully believing it.
For months I was convinced I was the reason behind the fights we had and that my gut feeling was just me overreacting or trauma from being cheated on before, yet apparently not. My gut was always right and I betrayed myself by believing him over myself.
I noticed he was in an odd discord server with very nsfw things in it, lots of trading nudes and sexual favours, I freaked out and he began to lie to my face, then game me access to his account in an attempt to 'prove' that he hadn't done anything wrong. He didn't know that I could still look through the chats of people he had blocked and therefore could see all the vile things he did. It was a minimum of 15 people, 15 different chats and several of these people he met up with to do things with, even if only in VR, the intent is still there. I couldn't access more than 15 of the chats but I can tell by the way he responded when I confronted him that they weren't the only ones.
My heart is shattered, my entire life is falling apart, everything I knew and thought was a lie.
Everything feels so bleak, everything feels like a blur and everything is so quiet.
I had to listen to him cry for 4 hours while I yelled at him about it, i can't understand why he did it and he says he doesn't know. He told me he was thinking of telling me when the intrusive thoughts of infidelity first popped up but he never did, instead he indulged with greed. 2 months ago he told me he had thought about breaking up, and I cried and pleaded to understand why, then he just changed his mind and things were ok. He told me that the only reason he thought about it was because he felt bad about cheating.
I just don't get it, what did I ever do to deserve this?
I gave him every part of me, my heart, my soul, my body. I broke myself down several times trying to "change" to make him happy, to make sure our relationship stayed afloat when we were having issues. But it was never me who needed to change, it was always him.
I was lied to and gaslit about every issue, every gut feeling, every anxious thought, I genuinely thought I was delusional and there was just something wrong with me. I thought he loved me but I know better than that, this was never love yet I am still so in love with him, it all just aches, I keep crying yet my blood is boiling.
His excuses are dumb, talking about being young and that he can 'change', yet I begged him for months to change up certain behaviours because they hurt me and he told me he was "trying" and now all of a sudden when I'm going to leave, he knows how to and wants to change?
I made him tell all of his friends what he did to me, all of them have left him, he has isolated himself through, not mistakes, but deliberate choices. His family is disappointed in him, they won't even talk to him and I just can't let go. I don't know what's wrong with me. The wound is fresh and I know I need time but this has caused such bad insecurities in me and I already have lots of mental issues to keep track of, I just don't know what to do with myself.

Hey guys so 3 years ago in September 2021 I was using oil based undercoat on the walls because the rental property had alot of mould and nicotine damage and oil based undercoat is the only thing that can cover it because otherwise it just comes through, I didn't open the windows and didn't wear a mask and when I got high I went outside to get fresh air and became catatonic in other words I couldn't move or speak and when I was drinking water I couldn't feel the water in my throat my throat was numb and it felt like I was in another world and life didn't feel real and I had a massive panic attack, this went away with fresh air but still, what caused the panic attack and catatonia? to this day I still have nightmares and dissociate heavily. Not sure if the paint is to blame. The ingredients were methyl ketoximine and hydrocarbon. Did the paint itself cause the panic or was this just a reaction of my own?
Thanks.