Dirty things to say to your boyfriend in bed

My boyfriend is Western , I'm Asian. He moved to my country and lived with me for 3-4 months. I paid for a gym membership that allowed me to bring 2 more people to there with me. But the rule is that I am always the one who has to check in the code before entering the gym, which means that 2 people cannot use my membership card to go to the gym by themselves. And I used it to go to the gym with my boyfriend every day. But this week I had to visit my hometown for about a week, so I had to contact the person who sold me my membership card to ask him to allow my boyfriend to check in at the gym by himself.
And for every day, we wake up, we text each other good morning, ask basic things like what “how was your sleep”, “what u are doing, “ have you eaten anything” , and he always updates me like “ i will book a car to go gym now” “ im on the way gym now”... so same that time, I can text the staff to wait there for him and support my boyfriend.
Until today, after waking up, I texted him good morning. My mind is quite sensitive today because a really bad thing happened to me yesterday and he also knows that. And Of course, my mood, my body, my weakness feelings felt I really needed his attention and his love his care today even more than other days.
After texting him good morning, I continued texting him to say that I couldn't meet him today as planned, What are you doing, when will u go to the gym, do u need any help, … At that time, it was about 2-3 hours before he got to gym every day, but after I texted for about an hour, I still didn't hear any updates from him about his gym. ( I had discussed with the gym in advance and he could check in without staff help today and I told him last night already. Because I already talked with staff, so I have to make sure to know will he go to gym instead of staying home or dont go anymore)
Then I checked his messages again, I saw he was online not too long ago and left my text on seen. I felt quite disappointed at that time but I still didn't want to send more messages to start a conversation first especially after seeing my messages being seen by him. But after about another hour, I was really worried about when he would go to the gym, and would he be able to check in with the staff ok? So I opened the app again and saw he was online a few minutes ago, but this time I sent him another message say that "I miss you". After that about 10 minutes he replied saying "use this photo for checking at gym?" and thats all… don't care about all the other messages I sent. At that moment I felt really really bad, maybe because I was in a bad mood before, but feel and even worse to think he knew I wasn't okay but thats the way he act.
About another 30 minutes, I had to do something else and couldn't wait for his gym update anymore so I sent a few more messages to ask if he had gone to the gym yet... and straight away he replied me "yea".
When he online at that time, I asked him he didn't reply to my message, leave it on seen that made me feel not good. He answered me that what should he reply me
And I feel that was terrible answer, I said that if he was busy at the time I texted, he could told me he was busy and he would reply to my message later instead of just online, and leave it on seen. Then he said "why he have to tell? You have to know by yoursel" I asked back” how can I know when you and me don't live in the same place” And what he means is that at the time he asked about “ Use this photo to check in gym?” I must understand that he was busy going to the gym. And he feels it's normal to take 2 to 3 hours to reply to someone's message
But I feel it's normal when in non-urgent situations (like me, I need to know about his time to go to the gym, so I can make sure he's allowed to go to the gym and then do another stuffs instead of waiting there for his update). Or when he's really busy and can't receive my messages not there online and seen it without reply. ( Specially, for him, every single day, for whole day, all he has to do is wake up, eat, rest play phone, go to gym, go back home, rest, eat, play phone, sleep thats all. )
I feel like usually a person will take a longer time to replying messages from unimportant people, than for their partner. And It makes me feel like I'm not valuable and not priority to him,
I also feel like he talks to me and updates me " I will go to the gym at 2pm, is it ok? " " i will book the car now".. in the past weeks just because he had to ask me to help him communicate with the staff so he could go to gym only. I feel like he doesn't think about my feelings at all and just keep saying that he's right about everything today. I am so childish to have this argument, overrated for just 2-3 hours without any messages …
Do you guy thinks am I wrong too ? Im happy to hear and receive advices from you guys to improve myself and the relationship… 🥺

The title says it all - this morning, while we were laying in bed and my toddler was playing and messing around in the bed, he suddenly slammed his back head into my nose. It hurt a lot and I was sure it had broke, but it looks like itself and hasn’t swelled up. It bled a bit but nothing crazy. However, it has started to hurt more now, and I have gotten a serious headache too. It’s been 5-6 hours since it happened. It’s sore to the touch.
I know I’m not the only one that has experienced the force of a toddler head slammed into your face, but I’m unsure - should I get it checked at the doctor? I read that headache can be a sign of a mild concussion.
I hope someone knows something about this 🤗 Thanks in advance.

First of all, I’m really sorry this post is so long, though I’d like to make sure everything is covered. I’m sorry that it’s probably not really exciting, but the issue has been causing me a massive amount of hurt, so any replies and advice would be immensely appreciated. I’ll try to give as much detail as I can. Obviously, you are only hearing this from my side, but I have been as honest as possible about the following, otherwise I don’t think any advice I receive would be helpful. This is written anonymously as well, so it’s not like the people involved are going to find-out. Nevertheless, none of the names I use in this are their real ones, just in case. If you have any questions or need further details on any part of this, please let me know.
I was good friends with a work colleague, I’ll call her Robin. We were (and still are) pastoral support staff in a large sixth form college. We’re part of quite a big team and each look after a caseload of students. Being about the same age, me and this colleague naturally spent time together on breaks at work, which usually involved going out for walks or just chatting in our office, which we shared with three other members of staff, all older women. I got on well with everyone in the team, but just wasn’t as close friends with them. Me and Robin chatted a lot and joked both in person and by messages on Whatsapp. I felt comfortable sharing lots of personal things with her, such as my poor mental health and at points I was worried I’d scare her off with how much I had said, but it never did. She opened up a bit about her own mental health as well, though now I realise to nowhere near the same extent. Looking back, she was not as comfortable sharing personal details as she was with her other friends. I’m not sure why I didn’t notice this at the time, was I too self-centred, or just subconsciously focusing only on the things she did tell me?
When Robin was struggling or upset, I always made an effort to go and help or comfort her. At one time she wrote on our office’s group Whatsapp chat that she had gone to our college’s wellbeing room as she was really upset. I immediately dropped what I was doing and headed over to sit with her. Of course, I checked if she wanted me there, but she was happy that she had some company. It’s easy for me to say this as I’m writing now, but at this point I had no actual romantic feelings for her, she was just a mate. She referred to me in messages as ‘mate’ a few times, so it was clear she wasn’t interested in anything other than friendship, which was absolutely fair enough.
This went on for most of the year and at the start of the next academic year, we were in different offices. Our workplace moves the team round every year for various reasons including to get us to build better working relationships with other members of the team. My new office had two people besides myself, one an older woman and the other a new colleague, who I’ll call Sam, also about my age, who had moved departments in the college and was just starting out in our role. She had been placed in my office so that we could support her in getting used to the job.
Robin and Sam already knew each other as before Robin started the pastoral role, she worked in Sam’s department. Robin warned me to “watch my back” with Sam. Robin was never specific with what happened, just that Sam had been a bully towards her. As Robin was my friend, I took her word for it.
A while later, I was called into my manager’s office and asked if Sam was always working on what she should have been. I told her that as far as I knew she was, though I never really looked too much at what she was working on as I was busy with my own stuff. I knew that in fact, Sam was working when she could on her assignments for the part-time degree she was completing. I didn’t want to throw her under the bus for this, though. We all have times where we aren’t completely focused on our work when we should be. Robin told me afterwards it was her who had reported Sam for doing her degree work. She apologised for not giving me a heads-up before I was called into the meeting with my manager.
Sam had a discussion with one of the assistant principals where she was told off. As Robin was my mate, I promised her that I wouldn’t tell Sam or anyone else at all that she had made the report. This was tricky as our other colleagues were commenting things like “who would do that to a colleague? We’re supposed to be a team”. Robin even told me at one point afterwards that she felt like a “bitch” for doing it. I told her then that she did the right thing and that I understood her frustration at another team member not working when she worked so hard herself. Looking back, this was an awful thing for me to do and I feel really bad about it.
After a while of working in the office with Sam, I got to know her. She wasn’t anything like Robin had told me. In fact, she was an absolutely lovely person, kind, funny and although she had a reputation for being the loud, chatty and boisterous one in the group, this was a bit of a façade and she actually had some real confidence issues, as well as some mental health issues, though she never said exactly what. I slowly began to regret taking Robin’s word about Sam and for not judging her by my own experiences. Me and Sam became quite close friends. I feel it’s important to note that Sam was married and was not at all my type for a romantic partner, but we became good friends. Perhaps surprisingly, Robin and Sam became very close friends at the same time. I felt comfortable sharing some quite personal things with Sam, including some issues I was having with my mental health.
As I was single, Sam made it her mission to get me a girlfriend, which I was a bit reluctant towards at first and not convinced anything would actually succeed. Sam was very interested in gossip and good at getting secrets out of people, so she eventually found out that I had developed feelings for Robin. My feelings had appeared at some point early in the academic year that I moved into the office with Sam. I knew that me and Robin would never work. Though we were good friends, we were too different. I was perfectly happy being just mates, but the feelings were still there. Very much a heart versus head situation.
Me and a few colleagues went on a night out to a few bars and a nightclub. We all got drunk and at one point in the evening I took Robin aside and told her that I liked her. I know it’s easy to blame the alcohol but I don’t think I would have said it otherwise. I knew we would never work, so what was the point in risking damaging our friendship? I didn’t remember her reaction at the time due to the alcohol.
The next day, I really regretted my decision to tell her this. For the next few days, I was really awkward around her. I tried to subtly ask if she remembered me saying anything to her that night, but she said she didn’t. I also tried asking another one of our work friends, Bethany, as well as Sam, both of whom were on the night out. I was good friends with Bethany and had been open to her about my feelings for Robin. Sam said that Robin really couldn’t remember much, as she was so drunk at the time. Bethany, however, said that Robin had told her that she thought I had “told me he liked me”, but that she wasn’t certain due to being drunk and having a patchy memory of the evening. During this conversation with Bethany, she advised I come clean as it was the right thing to do. I agreed and the same evening I wrote a message saying that I had said those things and that although I didn’t expect anything to happen as a result, I would understand if she wanted to distance from me. Robin replied after about half an hour, which I can tell you felt like an eternity.
The response was lovely, thanking me for my honesty and saying that she would never want to distance from me. “First of all, there is absolutely nothing to be sorry for. You didn’t upset me or offend me in any way. I honestly couldn’t remember if something was actually said or not. Secondly, I know that you’re such a kind and genuine person that I would never think you’re friends with me because you were simply trying to get into a relationship with me. I value you so much. This doesn’t make me annoyed in anyway at all. You haven’t damaged our friendship at all”. I replied “Thank you for that. You are really too kind-hearted for your own good”. She replied with “No need to say thank you. Thank you for telling me the truth and being honest. I really appreciate it. I would never want to distance from you”.
This made me feel much better. A few days later at the weekend we had arranged to go out as a group with colleagues. Me and another colleague, Carl, were the only two guys going and he ended up dropping out last minute. I got a Whatsapp message from Robin apologising and asking if it was okay for me to not go as well, as it was originally meant to be a girly night out anyway before inviting me and Carl. I told her that was absolutely fine with that and that there was no need to apologise and that I hoped they enjoy the evening. I was fine with this at the time, though there was naturally the worry that I was being uninvited due to Robin now knowing I had feeling for her.
However, when I told some of my non-work friends that I had been asked not to go, they immediately thought this was absolutely horrible of them towards me, regardless of if I was the only guy going with the group. I’ve told a few more people about this (as well as that I had admitted my feelings to Robin) since then and everyone has had the same reaction. At first, I tried defending my colleagues (as I genuinely would have preferred not to not go at the time), but I came to consider that my friends were right and this wasn’t an acceptable way to treat a mate. As I’m writing this, I still don’t know how I feel about what they did. Was I just blind to it due to my feelings for Robin and preferred to only see the good things in her? Was I just deluded in the belief that my friends would never do something horrible towards me?
The weeks and months after that, I gradually came to feel as though I was being left out of the group of my work friends. It is important to note here that at some point during this time, Robin got a new boyfriend, Jack. Of course, this was absolutely fine and really gave me a good amount of closure on the situation and any feelings I had remaining for Robin. I understand that some of Robin’s avoidance of me may have been to protect me from being upset by this, though it really was not necessary.
There were lots of things that happened to cause me to feel excluded in these months, of which the following are a few examples. I would see Robin, Sam and Carl often go out for walks during their lunch breaks, without inviting me. On one occasion they invited me out with them after I saw them leaving, but this felt like they were only doing it because I had seen them. They would have messaged me or stopped by my office to see if I was free if they actually desired me to be there. Another time, I was asked when I was free during the school holidays and after I answered, the group specifically arranged a meet-up time that I couldn’t make. On another occasion, I was very excited to go to a musicals-themed quiz night hosted at our college, as I love musicals. I said I would be interested in going, if others in our group were, but no-one said they did. However, Robin told me the next day that they did go, but it was last minute so they didn’t have time to ask me. They could have sent a message or came to my office, so I don’t understand how this was a problem.
Whenever I asked to go on walks with people or arrange things outside of work, either in-person or on our Whatsapp group, my colleagues never seemed to be available. What I noticed when other colleagues asked the same things, was that people were either more available, or if they weren’t available, they would suggest another time. They didn’t do this when I asked. I eventually gave up asking. It was pretty humiliating to be repeatedly turned down on a groups chat.
The college held an event one evening, which involved a meal at the site. My colleagues were going, so I decided to go along as well. I had been the previous year to the event and had really enjoyed it. However, this one ended up really upsetting me. Before the meal, there was a talk in our lecture hall. I was the first of my colleagues to enter and saved them a row of seats towards the back of the room (near the entrance). However, all seven of my colleagues who were there walked straight past me. If it was one or two it might be possible that they just didn’t see me, but all seven of them? I highly doubt it. For the meal, I was the first of the group to arrive again to the room, so claimed a table. When the others arrived, they all sat on the table next to mine. They said to pull our two tables together so I could sit with them, which we did, but the seven of them crowded onto their own table, whilst I was sat on my own. The colleague sitting closest to my table also fully turned their back to me, so it felt as though they were excluding me and making it difficult for me to engage in conversations. Throughout the evening, I tried to chat with each of my colleagues, but every time was either met with a one-word answer, or a quick acknowledgement, then they would move on to speak with someone else on the table. It felt like they asked to pull the two tables together so it looked like they were making an effort, but everything else indicated they wanted nothing to do with me. Carl was the only one who actually engaged me in a conversation, as we waited in the line for food, though it was just me and him at this point (the others had got their food already and were back at the table).
There was the occasional time where I was invited to something, but with the feeling of being avoided on the vast majority of occasions, it very much felt like it was just out of pity or an excuse to say that the group made an effort to include me. One time, we went out for coffee after work. I was invited by Sam, but when I turned up, Robin and Carl both seemed very surprised to see me there. On another occasion, we went out for food. On this event, it was very clear that Robin had feelings for Carl. She was quite ‘touchy-feely’ with him and was taking selfies with him, but no-one else. I wasn’t the only one of us to notice. In Sam’s words, she was “all over him” and she actually had to tell Robin to back away from Carl a bit, as Carl was already in a long-term relationship. Was this actually just Robin sending a message to me that she wasn’t interested in me? Or I am just being too self-centred there? It was certainly very hard and quite upsetting for me to sit there with them, bearing in mind I still had feelings for Robin at this point.
The difficulties with all these is that, on their own, each one of the examples of being left out can just be explained as bad luck, bad timing, or a one-off. However, the fact that these things kept happening led me to believe that the group were actively excluding me. This went on for a few months. This led to my self-esteem and mental wellbeing being completely wrecked. I thought I was a terrible person, a waste of space, a creep and that people would be better-off without me. I won’t go into details but I got to a really low point. I ended up speaking with my GP, going onto anti-depression medication and attending counselling sessions. I know I should have communicated with my colleagues earlier, but could never bring myself to. I have severe social anxiety and do whatever I can to avoid conflict, even if that means suffering myself.
Eventually I couldn’t take it anymore. Not being able to focus on anything but the worry and the almost physical pain of the anxiety, every single day, was horrible. On the advice of another work colleague and a friend, both of whom I had been very open with, I decided to speak to Robin. I asked if we could have a quick chat alone and she said that was absolutely fine. I saw her at the end of one of her lessons. It was really tricky at first, I could feel my hands shaking with the nerves. I told her that I didn’t mean to sound accusing, even though it would probably sound like that and that whatever was said, I wouldn’t get upset and didn’t intend for her to be upset, all I was seeking with honesty and clarification. I bluntly asked if the group were avoiding me. Perhaps being naïve, I honestly expected her to be surprised and say she wasn’t aware of how they had been acting towards me and the impact it was having. However, she told me that they were avoiding me.
She went on to say that when they were about to go on a walk on a lunch break a while ago, Robin had asked Sam and Carl if they should ask if I would like to go, but Sam had said “would Jack not be uncomfortable with that?”. After that, they made a point of purposely not inviting me on walks. Robin also said that she was close with Sam and Carl and they sometimes discussed things like their partners, which she thought might upset me. I reassured her that it wouldn’t, but I told Robin that these reasons were all absolutely fine and that I completely understood and thanked her for her honesty. She said that she had intended to tell me sooner, but hadn’t got round to it (yeah right, a whole year and not finding the opportunity?). I didn’t say it at the time, but I would have really appreciated if they had just told me, instead of letting me think I was an awful person and that they hated me. I’m sure anyone would feel like that if their friends started excluding them.
As we left the room, Robin said that she would like to start using the college gym and I said that I use it after work that day. She said she’d really like to join me, which made me happy and feel as though she would like to perhaps make it up to me a bit by spending time with me to show she was comfortable around me. After I met with Robin, she messaged me thanking me for my honestly and I replied thanking her for her honesty as well. Unfortunately, later in the day Robin asked to speak with me on my own. She said she had told Jack that she was going to the gym with me that evening and he was really uncomfortable with it and asked her not to go. I said that I understood and that it was absolutely fine. I asked if she had told Jack about me and that I had had feelings for her in the past, but she said she hadn’t. She said she wasn’t sure if she would tell him. I told her that I wouldn’t say anything for or against doing this as it wasn’t my decision to make, it was their relationship and that shouldn’t be influenced by what I say, though I said that it was important that you are honest with and trust each other in a relationship. She asked if I would still come to badminton with the group on Monday (which we planned for the first time that week, it wasn’t a regular thing) I did go to it and found that it was quite fun, though I was wary the whole time of the others and how they were acting towards me, so could never truly relax. It seemed as though nothing was out of the ordinary and we got on fine.
The next day, we got a message on our group Whatsapp chat from David (another colleague) saying he was going to the gym that night if anyone would like to join him. Immediately, Robin said she would come and Sam as well. I was absolutely heartbroken by this. Even though David was in a relationship and Sam was coming as well, there was either no consideration of how I would feel seeing this, or it was even possible (though I honestly don’t think likely) that it was intentional in order to make me feel excluded again. Why was Robin fine with going with Dan, but not me? Why was Jack comfortable with Dan and not me? People can still have affairs in relationships, so I don’t understand why David was safe for Robin to be around but not me. Though Sam was there as well, she only stayed for about ten minutes when we played badminton together, so was unlikely to stay long. I felt that, despite what was said to me by Robin, they still hated me and regarded me as a creep.
This, for me, was the final straw. Taken with the fact that I had it now confirmed that the group were actively avoiding me by speaking to Robin, I decided that I needed a clean break from the group. I had been thinking of doing this for months, but hadn’t seriously considered doing it until now. For once I was going to put my own wellbeing and mental health first. I decided that I shouldn’t care what the others thought of me. So, I left the Whatsapp group. I waited until the Friday of that week after work, so that people wouldn’t immediately come and speak to me, when I really didn’t want to see anyone.
I didn’t block individual people, but I received no contact afterwards. As of writing this (just over two weeks after leaving the Whatsapp group), they’ve left me alone. Hopefully they got the message that I was not interested in the group, or perhaps they were relieved that I had removed myself, rather than them having to keep secretly excluding me. Maybe they thought I just needed space. Maybe they just didn’t care. Sometimes the trash takes itself out. Like trash is completely how they’ve made me feel and to be fair, they’re probably right. I’m fine with whatever. I worried about being confronted by them, either by message or in person, as I wasn’t sure what I would say. Would I just be blunt and perhaps upset them by telling them how I really felt? Or would it be best just to say I didn’t want to talk anymore? I’m still not sure what the best response would be if it came to that. Anyway, as of writing this now, none of them have spoken to me. I’m absolutely fine with that. I’ve felt a lot better, though I still wonder if I do need to speak with them to get full closure, but I think I’m happy where I am now. Perhaps some time will help.
The only contact I’ve had has been a brief chat with Carl. It was a fairly normal chat about films we had seen recently, but I told him that I had left the group (I believe only group admins get notified if a member leaves). I said that I had no hard feeling towards him and that I’m still happy to speak to him and the others and say hi when I see them around, I just didn’t want to hang out with them anymore. He said there were no hard feelings from his side either and that I would be welcome to join the Whatsapp group again if when I was ready. He said that he has left groups in the past that were not right for him, so he understood. I’m honestly not sure what to think about Carl. He’s always been very friendly with me, but on the other hand has still gone along with the others in excluding me, without saying anything.
I was done with being a friend just when it was convenient to them. People don’t just exclude people for no reason. Even without any other information or things that have happened before, or to protect me from getting upset at Robin having a boyfriend, to purposely exclude someone you claim is your friend, without telling them, is a vile and horrible thing to do. I just wish they had been honest with me so that I knew what I could repair or change about myself that made me so unlikeable to them. It’s clear that the level of friendship I held the others in the group in was not the same as they held mine in. Even when taking into account that I may be overthinking things, my friends shouldn’t be making me feel the way I did. Likewise, they shouldn’t be ignorant to how their friend may feel because of what they say or do. Friendships work both ways and I feel this wasn’t happening here. I don’t feel comfortable trusting any of them again, because I think I’ll just get hurt again. I’ve opened-up about a lot of personal things with them in the past and honestly I really regret it now.
I’m so done with putting in all the effort to be friends with them, support them when they needed it, when it all feels one-sided. I am done being made to feel like I’m hated and that I’m a creep and that I’m just an expendable person. Even if it wasn’t intentional, there was no consideration to how their actions would impact me. I know I’m not the main character in other peoples’ lives. People all have their own personal things that they are dealing with and carrying around on a daily basis. However, I believe that you should at the very least think how what you do might upset people if they are truly your friends.
There seems to be some double standards going on here as well. Why was it okay for Robin to spend lots of time alone with Carl, even though she was single, clearly had romantic feelings for him and that he had a partner, but I wasn’t allowed to do the same as it would make Jack uncomfortable? I think there some insecurity in the relationship between him and Robin, but I understand that can be completely normal in the early stages of a relationship. It just saddens me that I am not seen as trustworthy enough to be alone with Robin, even though, as of writing this, Robin says that Jack still isn’t aware of my past feelings for Robin. Those feeling were long since gone before I knew for certain that I was being excluded. Perhaps I should not have trusted Robin after how she treated Sam, but is now best friends with her.
Any advice on this would be greatly appreciated. Am I just being pathetic and am actually in the wrong here? What do I do now? Do I do anything at all?

Mother’s day just passed & i (20f) went all out for his (23m) mother & grandmother to which he had a problem with because he felt like i was doing what he should’ve been doing even though he made no effort towards doing so until the last minute. I always go big or go home when it comes to gifts or making someone feel special whether it’s materialistic (money never been an issue with me) or just being there but he only really cares about himself & what makes him happy. He has a problem with me saying hi & hugging everyone when i get to this house before i kiss or hug him. I do say hi to him before i start hugging & speaking to everybody else so it’s not like i don’t acknowledge him, i told him it’s how i was raised & i can’t see myself changing that to accommodate things being about him & it become a big deal.
Recently i got fed up with him only caring about himself & i can say i exploded on him about a lot i had bottled up, i used to want to talk about things in the beginning of our relationship but he would always push it to the side & we would move on & i got comfortable with that so i had a lot bottled up & finally told him & it led to a breakup in which i can say we both didn’t want but it felt right. I’m pro break up & walking away with my heart intact i don’t stay & keep breaking my heart. I told him i was unhappy with a lot to which he made it about him & how he has a lot of learning to do but he doesn’t want to let me go. I’ve never been in a relationship but i’ve connected with other guys on a level where we went out, they did & said thoughtful things, they planned things, they gave me the space to talk about me but him? not so much it’s always about him, he was depressed i took him out & told him he didn’t have to pay a dime once again money never been an issue with me, i was there with him at the hospital but when i had an abortion for our baby he left me alone for three weeks because he didn’t know how to handle the situation & came back confessing how wrong he was i took him back, i was there when his great grandmother passed to which he said a lot of his family are holding on to things that he already let go of & he wants them to move on.. no empathy or sympathy for others.
I felt like i was his girlfriend & best friend in one & i want a best friend & boyfriend, i don’t need materialistic things from him but i want somebody to care about me i want a friend, i want a partner. He lacking in the department of being there for others the way they are for him.. he’s selfish & i told him that & it got big, now he needs space & doesn’t know how much time he needs, im being pushed away again & as much as it hurts, would i be wrong to leave & never show face or even give him the time of day whenever he decides to come back? I’m being told closure might be good in this situation but my heart can’t handle whatever else he has to offer, i can’t afford to keep seeing myself as stupid for loving someone who i feel didn’t love me the same. I’m young & i know i will get to a point where things like this will be distant & i will pick better but any advice would help right now.
tldr: my boyfriend has a problem with me caring about anything other than him, he’s asking for space because i said i was unhappy with him & the way things are in our relationship. I exploded on him & he made it about him & we ended up breaking up just for him to tell me we’re not done but he needs time.

Welcome to our fifth discussion of Leviathan Wakes. Hold onto your cool detective hats or your environment suits, because we finally get some answers to our mystery! This week, we will discuss Chapters 34-40. The Marginalia post is here. You can find the Schedule here.
The discussion questions are below. One note - this is a very popular book series and TV show, but please keep in mind that not everyone has read or watched already, so be mindful not to include anything that could be a hint or a spoiler! Please mark spoilers not related to this section of the book using the format > ! Spoiler text here !< (without any spaces between the characters themselves or between the characters and the first and last words).
Now brace yourselves: here comes the juice!
Chapter Summaries:
Chapter 34 - Miller: Detective Miller and the crew of the Roci board the hidden ship (the one that captured the crew of the Scopuli before destroying it), wearing environment suits because the ship has no atmosphere - someone left the doors open. They stick together at first as they move through the ship, discovering signs of a struggle, zombie vomit, and twelve torpedo tubes big enough to destroy capital ships like the Donnager or the Canterbury. Miller uses his detective skills to determine that everyone but Julie retreated to engineering. Once there, they discover a truly grisly sight: layers of human flesh and bones are sort of fused around the reactor, which has been shut down. Naomi and Holden gasp in shock and disgust, Miller turns on his cop brain to suppress emotion and view it as a crime scene, and Amos seems… calm and able to ignore the gore. The team splits up to look for more clues.
Amos stays in engineering to start up the computers and get the reactor back online. Naomi works on the ops deck to run diagnostics. Miller and Holden head to the bridge, which wasn’t affected by the fighting onboard. Miller reviews the internal feeds and finds footage showing the captured Scopuli crew being led onto the ship, stripped, and put in restraints. Julie fights back viciously but is knocked unconscious and stuffed in a locker with a jumpsuit (which is where we met her in the prologue). The crew is left in the galley for 132 hours before they decide to make a stand, but it is quickly suppressed. One of the crew is thrown out an airlock and the others are heavily restrained as they scream and cry. Just as Miller gets to the first appearance of a vomit zombie (at hour 160 of footage), Amos yells that he’s been exposed to some radiation because the human flesh blob had damaged the reactor shielding. He decides to keep working while Alex monitors his health status from the Roci.
Then Holden calls Miller over to view one of the last feeds Julie accessed. It’s a corporate presentation video created for a man named Dresden and the board of Protogen. It features a man Miller dubs “the sociopath” because of his cold, practiced smile…and because of the content. The sociopath tells the board (and us) the history of scientific discovery on Phoebe, which was thought to just be a moon and a source of water, but became a research station when a survey found complex silicon structures in the ice. Protogen was tasked with investigating and discovered that Phoebe is not a moon but evidence of a galactic biosphere: it is an alien weapon sent towards Earth 2 ⅓ billion years ago, which never made it because of orbital mechanics. Protogen has discovered that this weapon is not alive per se; rather, it is something they’ve termed the “protomolecule” which has the ability to maintain structure while replicating other systems and manipulating them at scalable rates. Of course, they alerted the proper authorities and made sure… just kidding, they’ve secretly been doing tests. The sociopath believes that whoever controls the protomolecule will gain control of all political and economic power going forward. Chillingly, the sociopath urges them to pursue large-scale testing to understand the protomolecule and its human applications. That large-scale testing is Eros.
TL;DR - Julie found evidence that Protogen (her dad’s company) has discovered an alien weapon, branded it the “protomolecule”, and secretly tested it on the people of Eros (and probably other smaller tests). The entire war has just been a distraction.
Chapter 35 - Holden: Naomi explains that most of the messages on the comm logs have been coded, but the last one is in plain text: the captain informed Thoth Station that the ship was contaminated, everyone was about to die, and the “materials” had been secured. He also planned to send vector data so they could find the ship. The Roci crew put two and alien-symbol-for-two together: they figure out that the captain has locked protomolecule samples in his safe. They also decide that the tightbeam messages were being sent to a secret research station Protogen was using to monitor the Eros experiment. Even though the fact “Naomi is the best” is a proven concept on par with “space is cold”, she is NOT able to open the captain’s safe, so they decide to cut it out of the wall and bring it with them on the Roci. They also scuttle the ship so no one can a) recover the stealth technology and alien weapons, or b) get exposed to the protomolecule-human soup inside. (Amos would have preferred to hack the frozen dead body goo off the reactor with a chainsaw and salvage such an impressive and expensive ship, which is… another way to go.)
It’s clear that someone else with stealth tech is searching actively for this ship, but the Roci won’t see them coming so they decide to get the hell out of Dodge. Naomi jokes that their options include turning the safe over to the OPA (they’d be heroes), selling out to Mars (they’d be rich), or starting their own biotech firm (just kidding, that’s evil). When Miller checks in with Holden about a decision on where to go next, he drops a figurative bomb on him regarding actual bombs in the news. Since Holden did his best Edward Snowden impersonation and leaked the data that the mystery ships are from Earth, Mars asked a few too many questions and in response, Earth has blown up a whole bunch of Martian ships and destroyed the Deimos deep radar station. Miller ruefully gives Holden credit for sticking to his guns about his belief in “free information”. He also points out that Holden’s principles make him responsible for all those deaths and the destruction of the Earth-Mars Coalition… and possibly the universe as they know it.
Chapter 36 - Miller: The war between Mars and the Belt seems like no big deal now that Earth and Mars are fighting. Miller watches the news feeds as the conflict turns into a blockade, and he realizes he is steeling himself for an announcement of a planetary attack on Earth or Mars, but it never comes. He and Amos deal with the stress by having beer for breakfast.
Miller meets up with Holden in the med bay for their routine blood flushes and cancer treatments, and they reopen their debate about what to do with the data files and who is to blame for the war(s).

• Holden’s position: Broadcast everything to everyone! (I know, I know, so out of character, right?) People will understand that they’ve been set up and will turn their wrath on Protogen instead of each other. Also, these are ancient conflicts. The Belt has always hated Mars and the inner planets in general. Mars and Earth have always had animosities secretly brewing and they do military training for the inevitable showdown. Or as Miller puts it, “Not my powder keg; I just brought the match.”
• Miller’s position: Stop and consider what people will do if they hear an Earth company did this. Every other data leak has been used as an excuse to shoot at someone the other side doesn’t like. Also, people suck. They aren’t going to hold hands and sing Kumbaya just because Protogen is the bad guy. They’ll move on to shooting each other so they can be the ones to control the protomolecule. Or as Holden puts it, “Maybe Protogen is a little right. People are too dumb to be trusted with big information so we should keep hard, scary stuff a big secret. That’ll totally work out.”

Holden’s idealism starts to fade as he takes in Miller’s hard truths about humanity. To be fair, Miller loses a little idealism over his perceptions of the inner planets’ relationship which, to the Belt, seemed stable and friendly enough (and united against them). Miller encourages Holden to use Naomi’s judgment as a measuring stick for whether something is right (similar to how he uses illusion-Julie as his conscience and sounding board) and then he goes back to the news feeds to watch Ceres slowly collapse into chaos. Holden decides the only person and place he trusts - or at least doesn’t completely distrust - is Fred Johnson on Tycho Station, so they head there. Holden also wonders why they don’t just destroy the safe and make sure everyone stays away from Eros and Phoebe; Miller admits it’s because the protomolecule might just be the holy grail.
Chapter 37 - Holden: The crew of the Roci is taking a break from doom scrolling to cook fake space lasagna for dinner and bond over the food and conversation. As Holden watches the crew laugh at Amos’s belches and Miller’s wild story about cheese smuggling, he reflects that they represent all three prongs of the conflict: Naomi and Miller are Belters, Amos and he are from Earth, and Alex is from Mars. Yet they’re friends, and Holden knows this is what they have to fight for. The cheese smuggling makes no sense to Amos (why cheese and not drugs?), and Naomi points out that this illustrates how little people from the inner planets understand Belters. Earthers have free air and easy access to resources, while Belters know everything that sustains life is rare and their access to it is fragile. And this is why Protogen didn’t blink an eye before killing 1.5 million Belters on Eros: they’re “other”. Then Alex points out that this doesn’t make sense; it's a risky and unnecessarily complicated way to kill people just to satisfy prejudices. It becomes clear that Eros isn’t a hate crime, it’s a vacuum-sealed test tube to let the protomolecule learn how to do its job better by giving it access to a huge amount of biomass. The early transformations looked incomplete, as if it didn’t know how to work with human flesh yet, so Protogen was giving it a chance to train. Holden wants to know where they would even find enough people who would support an evil operation like this, and Miller promises to ask Dresden (the Protogen board member mentioned in the video) when they meet him. Something tells me that conversation won’t go well.
As the Roci approaches Tycho station, Holden and Miller take in the view of the Nauvoo, the partially constructed Mormon generation ship. When Miller says the Mormans may be in for a long and lonely death if they don’t find a habitable planet, Holden notes that this is the good kind of galactic exploration humans can accomplish (the protomolecule being the bad kind). Miller then asks Holden why he trusts Fred, and Holden explains that in addition to being the only person who hasn’t tried to jail them or blow them up since all this began, Fred is “real OPA”: he’s a politician and not part of the war-mongering factions who think they can survive indefinitely without the inner planets. When Miller points out that there isn’t a political solution to Protogen, Holden insists Fred has other skills, too. Later, Fred reads through all the information on the protomolecule and is incredulous that anyone could think to do this. Miller assures him that genocide is an old-school crime and it’s important that they stop it. Holden offers up the location of the observation station in exchange for enough OPA fighters to take down Protogen, and the right to retain custody of the safe and its contents. Fred agrees only after Holden points out that no one else can be trusted to do the right thing with a secret this big. Plus, he says Fred already knows what Holden will do with it.
Chapter 38 - Miller: It feels strange to Miller to explore the wide open spaces of Tycho Station, the fanciest place he has ever set foot on. He notices Naomi working on her hand terminal and letting her food get cold; she is too preoccupied with trying to figure out the location of the station to enjoy the amenities. As they talk, Miller is reminded of Havelock’s advice to just let go when he got pulled off a case, which jogs his memory that Havelock actually works for Protogen! (I’m surprised he didn’t get there faster; maybe everyone had a point that he was sort of a washed up detective.) He rushes off to make contact with his old buddy - probably his last real partner ever - in an encrypted drop site of a Ganymede server cluster. As he waits for a response, Miller is amused to realize he has started thinking like Holden: he feels like someone should warn the Mormans that they could potentially run into the alien creators of the protomolecule who may want to kill them. Havelock comes through, passing along the coordinates to a “very scary deep research and development lab” and asking Miller to be discreet never contact him again so he doesn’t get killed for betraying his employer. Miller sends him an encrypted warning to quit his job ASAP and not take postings at any black ops sites, before saying goodbye for the last time to the only person that still respected him as a cop. (I may or may not be sniffling a bit at this.)
Miller rounds up Naomi and Holden so they can bring Fred the coordinates. In Fred’s office, Miller starts lecturing him about the serious nature of the mission and the need to have a solid plan with adequate firepower, not the usual OPA shenanigans. Everyone’s a little confused until they realize that Miller doesn’t know that Fred is “the butcher of Anderson Station” and a former Colonel in the Earth Navy. Fred assures Miller he’s no amateur and will plan ahead. Miller then insists that he get to come along for the assault on Thoth Station. Eight days later, the plan is set in motion and Miller begins packing his meager belongings into a very small bag, figuring he’ll never see the Roci again. Even if he makes it off Thoth alive, he’ll have to figure out a way to make money and improvise a life plan of some sort. He tries to thank Holden and say goodbye, but the Roci’s captain interrupts Miller to ask where they’ll all meet up after the mission is complete. Miller is confused at first, then overcome with emotion when he realizes Holden considers Miller part of the crew! I’m not crying, you’re crying. Actually, it’s Miller who is weeping. But he pulls himself together so he can head to the assault ship.
Chapter 39 - Holden: The Rocinante needs to sneak up on Thoth Station, so they are pretending to be a loose cargo container that broke off the Guy Molinari (the Belter ship carrying the assault team, which is pretending to be a cargo ship). They fly with everything shut down so that it’s more convincing, hoping they can get close enough to the station to do some damage before Thoth starts firing back. As they approach and are able to reboot everything needed for battle, a stealth ship is spied hanging out near Thoth Station. Then, suddenly it becomes clear that there are two small stealth ships, which will be much harder to fight off. Everyone does their jobs efficiently on the Roci, but in the ensuing battle with the stealth ships, they start to take some damage. First, the Roci is hit by a gauss cannon that goes straight through the machine shop and galley. Holden mourns his coffee maker. Amos notices a leak in the maneuvering thrusters and heads to fix it between the inner and outer hulls, which isn’t an ideal place to be floating around during a battle. This stresses Naomi out, but Holden orders everyone to stay focused. They are able to take out one of the stealth ships, but the other gets close enough to do some impressive damage to the Roci. There is major hull damage as well as loss of four maneuvering thrusters, a PDC, their O2 storage, and the crew airlock. Alex is about to destroy the second stealth ship when the Roci’s point defense cannons (PDCs) detonate an enemy warhead up close. It knocks everyone out, punches holes throughout the Roci (narrowly missing Naomi), dislodges equipment, and fills the ship with debris. Holden marvels that they are alive at all, and Alex points out that is only because the ship’s anti-spalling webbing eliminates shrapnel. They make contact with Fred, who says he’ll find them a place to land, and the Guy Molinari prepares for the assault on Thoth Station. It’s Miller’s turn to shine!
Chapter 40 - Miller: On the Guy Molinari, Miller is talking to a Belter kid named Diogo as they wait for the assault to start. Miller realizes that while he has fancy Martian armor from the Roci and experience with gunfights in station corridors, he is surrounded by inexperienced young Belters with borrowed gear, and he will likely have to watch dozens of them die during the battle. But Diogo isn’t worried; he is confident and eager to get started. Fred announces that they are ready to start boarding since the Roci gave them the “all clear”, and Miller is happy to hear his friends have survived. The assault on the station starts off rough, with Protogen soldiers fighting them in the corridors and automatic defense lasers taking out some of the Belters in the first wave. But Fred knows how to command his OPA “troops” and keep them in line, and things start to go more smoothly as they slow down and maneuver carefully. Miller and Diogo are part of a group taking shelter at Fred’s direction and fending off Protogen counterattacks, and they start to talk during a lull. When two Protogen soldiers sneak up on them from behind, Diogo is hit and Miller chastises himself for chatting during a battle and not staying alert. He thinks Diogo is dead, but he pops up laughing and streaked with white goo from crowd suppression rounds, which Miller finds an odd choice of weapon. It’s the first sign that Thoth Station may not totally understand what’s happening. The OPA soldiers cut their way through the blast doors to get to the operations center, where they find Dresden (the dude mentioned in the sociopath’s Protogen video). Fred arrives to take command of the station, and Dresden offers to negotiate, clearly misunderstanding the reason for the assault. He offers to give the OPA whatever resources they need to go back to fighting their war (money, medical supplies, weapons, ordnance) if they’ll just leave and let the station get back to their very important work. Fred points out that they know about Eros, but Dresden insists no one knows what they did there, and there won’t be a better bargaining position for Fred when Earth sends its battleships. Fred basically calls Dresden Satan, but Dresden doesn’t understand the reference.

It’s been almost 2 weeks since the last time I saw you. I don’t think I’ll ever get over how fast things transpired. You lit up something in me na hindi ko maexplain; and I know I’ll never find that with anyone else. Every time I’m with you, I get to rest my brain in the most peaceful way. It didn’t even feel like I’ve only just met you a month ago. I value the intimacy we shared. I could go for hours and hours just sitting in silence and looking into your eyes.
Sana lang you gave me a chance. And as I’ve told you, hindi ka ka-ghost ghost and I would have done anything just to spend more time with you.
If only I knew that isolating myself would break things between us, I wouldn’t have done it.
I hope this reaches you in some way. If it does, I just want to say I miss you a lot.
And if you’d ever ask me if I would want to run away with you— I’ll gladly say yes. I’ll always be one call way. I’ll never forget you. I hope you know that.

I (40F) have been with my boyfriend (32M) for 3 months, and whilst the good times are great, the arguments we've had make me question our relationship altogether.
I'm very independent and self-sufficient, and despite him saying he is the same he likes to ask for little favours from me from time to time. Overall I don't mind it and I see it as him being comfortable enough in our relationship to want to depend on me for little things (even if these are things he can do himself).
This week he's been staying at my place upon my request, coming to mine directly after work. He keeps his work uniforms at his place and hadn't brought a change of clothes to keep at mine, so a couple of days ago he went to Target to buy some clothes to wear at home. Planning isn't his strong suit and he often forgets stuff. The other day I ran an out-of-cycle wash for my clothes (I normally do my laundry on Sundays) and he asked if I could include his uniform so he could wear it the next day. I didn't mind. Today he came home with a new uniform that needed to be washed and asked if I could wash it so he could wear it tomorrow. I was annoyed; since my clothes horse is tiny, it meant I'd have to get all the clean clothes I'd washed the other day off the line to make room for his and I just wasn't in the mood to sort my clothes out tonight. It's also been raining where I live and not all my washing has dried. Tonight it was my turn to make dinner and I was looking forward to it, but the idea of having to get my clothes off the line late at night just irked me especially since mentally I was set to do that chore tomorrow when all my clothes would be dry.
He is a bit of an empath and very sensitive to mood changes, so he picked up on my irritation and asked what was wrong. I tried to explain I wasn't annoyed by his request but from the idea that I had another chore to do tonight on top of making dinner. That got his goat. He told me that he came straight to my place and didn't go to his to get a fresh uniform because if he did, he wouldn't come to mine anymore because he'd be exhausted. I thought that sounded a passive aggressive (a communication style of his I had called him out on in previous fights). He then offered to hang his clothes on my dirty balcony rail which I told him no; I felt I'd be a bad host and I was already willing to make room for his washing on my clothesline. He said he didn't care where his clothes were hung; he just didn't want us to be in a bad mood.
He then accused me of "sacrificing our nice time together for a stupid issue" since he had already offered a solution (hanging his clothes on the balcony). He said he couldn't believe I was so quick to fixate on a silly thing and said unlike me he can pick his battles. He also told me he has a fear of being a burden to others and not being wanted, and he said what I did tonight made him feel exactly that. To be clear I never said or did anything to him whilst I was stewing in my annoyance! We ended up in a long winding conversation where I felt confused and terribly guilty, as if I was the problem all along. Long story short he said he just couldn't snap out of the bad energy he blamed on me and left.
I should include that he can be very loving, affectionate, and fiercely loyal. I have often acknowledged that he works a stressful job, so I am mindful of his emotional load and to not add to it (hence I was reluctant to communicate what was annoying me - my fault). He has also been struggling financially since his divorce which has contributed to his overall stress.
Am I overreacting, or is there a deeper issue here? Looking for perspectives.
TL;DR: My (40F) boyfriend (32M) of 3 months and I have great times, but our arguments make me question the relationship. He often asks for favors, which I usually don't mind. Recently, he asked me to wash his work uniform last minute, and I was annoyed because it added to my chores after making dinner. He sensed my irritation and we ended up arguing. He accused me of overreacting and making him feel like a burden. I feel guilty and confused.

My boyfriend is Western , I'm Asian. He moved to my country and lived with me for 3-4 months. I paid for a gym membership that allowed me to bring 2 more people to there with me. But the rule is that I am always the one who has to check in the code before entering the gym, which means that 2 people cannot use my membership card to go to the gym by themselves. And I used it to go to the gym with my boyfriend every day. But this week I had to visit my hometown for about a week, so I had to contact the person who sold me my membership card to ask him to allow my boyfriend to check in at the gym by himself.
And for every day, we wake up, we text each other good morning, ask basic things like what “how was your sleep”, “what u are doing, “ have you eaten anything” , and he always updates me like “ i will book a car to go gym now” “ im on the way gym now”... so same that time, I can text the staff to wait there for him and support my boyfriend.
Until today, after waking up, I texted him good morning. My mind is quite sensitive today because a really bad thing happened to me yesterday and he also knows that. And Of course, my mood, my body, my weakness feelings felt I really needed his attention and his love his care today even more than other days.
After texting him good morning, I continued texting him to say that I couldn't meet him today as planned, What are you doing, when will u go to the gym, do u need any help, … At that time, it was about 2-3 hours before he got to gym every day, but after I texted for about an hour, I still didn't hear any updates from him about his gym. ( I had discussed with the gym in advance and he could check in without staff help today and I told him last night already. Because I already talked with staff, so I have to make sure to know will he go to gym instead of staying home or dont go anymore)
Then I checked his messages again, I saw he was online not too long ago and left my text on seen. I felt quite disappointed at that time but I still didn't want to send more messages to start a conversation first especially after seeing my messages being seen by him. But after about another hour, I was really worried about when he would go to the gym, and would he be able to check in with the staff ok? So I opened the app again and saw he was online a few minutes ago, but this time I sent him another message say that "I miss you". After that about 10 minutes he replied saying "use this photo for checking at gym?" and thats all… don't care about all the other messages I sent. At that moment I felt really really bad, maybe because I was in a bad mood before, but feel and even worse to think he knew I wasn't okay but thats the way he act.
About another 30 minutes, I had to do something else and couldn't wait for his gym update anymore so I sent a few more messages to ask if he had gone to the gym yet... and straight away he replied me "yea".
When he online at that time, I asked him he didn't reply to my message, leave it on seen that made me feel not good. He answered me that what should he reply me
And I feel that was terrible answer, I said that if he was busy at the time I texted, he could told me he was busy and he would reply to my message later instead of just online, and leave it on seen. Then he said "why he have to tell? You have to know by yoursel" I asked back” how can I know when you and me don't live in the same place” And what he means is that at the time he asked about “ Use this photo to check in gym?” I must understand that he was busy going to the gym. And he feels it's normal to take 2 to 3 hours to reply to someone's message
But I feel it's normal when in non-urgent situations (like me, I need to know about his time to go to the gym, so I can make sure he's allowed to go to the gym and then do another stuffs instead of waiting there for his update). Or when he's really busy and can't receive my messages not there online and seen it without reply. ( Specially, for him, every single day, for whole day, all he has to do is wake up, eat, rest play phone, go to gym, go back home, rest, eat, play phone, sleep thats all. )
I feel like usually a person will take a longer time to replying messages from unimportant people, than for their partner. And It makes me feel like I'm not valuable and not priority to him,
I also feel like he talks to me and updates me " I will go to the gym at 2pm, is it ok? " " i will book the car now".. in the past weeks just because he had to ask me to help him communicate with the staff so he could go to gym only. I feel like he doesn't think about my feelings at all and just keep saying that he's right about everything today. I am so childish to have this argument, overrated for just 2-3 hours without any messages …
Do you guy thinks am I wrong too ? Im happy to hear and receive advices from you guys to improve myself and the relationship… 🥺

It’s a long one but it’s a must read ..
I want to say this all started beginning of this year. Let’s get right into it. I’m going to give a backstory of the house I live in for context. I live in a very spacious home in CT with my boyfriend and his family. I’ve been there for 3 years. My boyfriend and I live in the basement which is fully finished, basically our own apartment. The house was built in 2000.
One of the first things that was weird about this property to me was the fact that it comes up on maps as a church cemetery. When you google that cemetery though, it is set about a mile or so down the road on the other end. Weird little coincidence I think. Anyways, I started noticing out of the corner of my eye a grayish/white shadow in my kitchen area at night. I chalked it up to seeing something only because I had drank that night and I let it go. Well I kept seeing this figure a few times a week and when no drinks were involved, I started to think it was weird. The figure was tall but I couldn’t really see any facial features, it was more so a side profile and then it would disappear.
*Now it’s March and I see a post on Facebook from my boyfriend’s mother. She and I work at hospitals and she had asked if anyone else in healthcare had brought a spirit home. She felt like she was being “watched”. I ran to my messages to let her know about that figure I saw in the basement. This was on March 6th of this year. I believe she saged the house after I told her this. Honestly, everything was good for about a month. I wasn’t seeing the shadow and life resumed.
*Here comes April 24 2024, my boyfriend’s mother made another post saying that she needed a house cleansing, and that things were good for a little bit and then started up again. Hearing knocking and the dogs going crazy at weird hours. And once again I tell her about my experience I had before she even made her post. I was getting up in the night to pee, I swing my legs over and as soon as my feet touch the floor, my printer in the corner of the room near my kitchen completely illuminates and I can see every inch of the basement. It creeped me out but I did my thing and went back to bed.
*A week later I am in bed again and my boyfriend is asleep and I have been having trouble sleeping so I was barely asleep. All of the sudden I’m woken up from the feeling of the edge of my bed being hit and I feel the hair near my face move. That one definitely scared me. I just pulled the covers up to my head and went back to bed.
*May 10th 2024, she posted that she saw a dark black/grey mass floating in the house. That specific night my boyfriend and I were in Maine for the weekend and came home the following day. I had not seen her post until two days later after my experience on Mother’s Day
*May 12th 2024. On this day, it was the one year anniversary of having my baby removed after a second trimester miscarriage. It was also Mother’s Day. I was enjoying the day with my boyfriend’s family and I went in the house to get food. As I’m standing at the island I see something move, it was a black floating shadow somewhat low to the ground not tall at all. I looked at it as it moved down the hallway that is right in front of my basement door. When I asked my MIL about her experience and where she saw the shadow, she said it was in the EXACT spot I just saw it. As we stand there talking about it, the smoke alarms go off. I want to say that so far, my boyfriend’s mother, his sister and I have all seen and experienced things in the past months. My boyfriend and his father have not seen/heard anything. I am terrified to be in the house alone, I just get this awful feeling when I’m there alone.
**A woman at my work is a paranormal investigator and I was telling her my story when she interrupted me and asked “do you light candles?” I said yes but not recently. She said “ I have something telling me, “Go ahead, light that candle” so please do not light any candles” We just found out that there was a previous house on the property, which had burnt down. I am beyond freaked out.

I started a channel where I review products and have been being honest. In reality 1 out of 5 things are just not for me. My typical AVD is 40% but on the ones where I don’t like the product it’s 25% 😅.
It makes sense. If it’s someone slightly interested in the product you lose their interest and if they’re watching videos on something they already purchased you’re not on their side.
I don’t really care. I’m going to keep being honest I make videos for the love of it and there are too many fake reviewers in my niche. I use to watch videos in my niche until I realized everyone praises everything lol. Also, if someone does binge on my channel and I say I like everything it’s kinda boring / a bad look.
Curious if any of y’all experienced this and what your opinions are?

This question gets asked at least 3 times a week, and so I figured I'd share my experiences in a central place so folks can search for it easier. If you've had some experiences you'd like to share in the comments, that would be cool as well.
Disclaimer: I have 1 book, it's non-fiction, and unique in that is applies specifically to political campaigning. My genre is very niche. Thus, your mileage will probably vary from mine. Additionally, I say the word "profitable", but that doesn't mean wildly successful, just that I'm no longer losing money on amazon ads. From starting, it took 4 months of tweaking for me to earn a profit in a single month, and 2 more months before I made my money back.
Campaigns: Set up one of each of the Automatic, Keyword, and Product campaigns. After a few months you'll hopefully be able to open a "Winning Campaign" for the Keywords and Products to track your successes separately. Don't do custom text yet (US only), more on that down in A/B testing.
Ads: If your book comes in more than 1 format, pick the format that has the highest royalties. Again, you can test variations later.
Targets (keywords and products/categories): Go wide at first. Search for your book using the search terms(keywords) you think people will use, and add them to your campaign targets. There are plenty of services (google the term "amazon keyword tool") to help you come up with new ones. Just keep adding things, but don't be ridiculous.
After a while (like 2-3 months) if you notice that some targets just don't produce sales. If they have 50+ clicks, then just turn them off.
Bids: The big trick is to let it run long enough to really know your target cost per click. Start very small (ignore "suggested bid") and only increase later. Set these to "Dynamic bids - down only". I am serious about ignoring the suggested bid. I watched a video that said to set my bids to the suggested and max out at a dollar, but I hemorrhaged money. The people making these videos don't know the break even point of your book.
Bid adjustment: After about 200 clicks, calculate the average number of clicks before you get a sale. Then divide your royalties by that number and set your bids to slightly lower than that. Don't worry about impressions, since you only pay for clicks. For me that calculation look like this - My royalties are $5.50 per book, and the ads have sold 61 copies ($335.5 total), it took me 855 clicks to get those sales (conversion rate: 14 clicks per sale), so each click should cost $0.40. You should actually do this calculation separately for each of your campaign types. My Products campaign is set to $0.25 and my Keywords bid is set to $0.75. Unless your book royalties, and conversion rate is the same as mine, don't use my bid numbers.
Budget: Unless your bids are high, it shouldn't matter how you set it. Mine is at $10 a day, and amazon literally never uses that. Just pick a number you don't mind losing, and you'll be fine.
Winning Campaigns: Slowly, as you notice certain keywords, categories, or products produce sales at a higher rate than that average, you can spin those off into a separate "Winning Campaign" and set the bid slightly higher. My Winning Products has 4 categories and 0 product targets. My Winning Keywords has 2 keywords in it.
Remember that bid calculation from above? Do it again for each target and set the rate on each one individually.
A/B Testing: I said above not to do custom text. Well now that you have a winning campaign with profitable targets it's time to start. You can google for ideas, but I've tried a few different variations of themes from my blurb, excerpts from reviews, and just whatever I could come up with.
Other than custom text, there are number of things you can try. If you have an idea, spin it off into its own campaign, and give it a try. After a reasonable number of click (50-200 probably) you can safely call it statically relevant and turn off the losing version.
Final Tips: Be patient. Don't obsess. Don't change things too often. Keep good notes. Good luck!

ok so i play the guitar and a string sprung out of the saddle. no problem, went to my dad, he puts it back in (idk for the life of me how), tunes it, i tune the rest of the guitar with him, and for context my guitar has a weird thing where if i use the cheap floyd rose, the next day or two a string goes out of tune, i go to tune it from the headstock and it goes out of the saddle. I see that a string isnt tuning right, and im kinda sensible to this shit, bc it happened like 5-7 times in 2 months, and i thougt that it will go out of the saddle, it didnt. I went back to the room and my dad keep tolding me "You are going to cry bc your string went out of the saddle?" Packed my guitar in the case, he then wanted to know what was the problem, i didnt want to tell him bc i was kinda mad.
yesterday morning(next day), i got packed for school, listening to music with one earbud, idrk what the fuck was he saying(cant remember), and then, before i leave the house he asked me how would i feel if he would ignore me. When i get back home from chemistry training, i say hello, nothing, i say hello again, nothing, i remember that he gives me the silent treatment, and ignore him, i go say hello to my mom and sister and go about the rest of my day.
Now, since yesterday night, he hasnt talked to me at all, but with other family members he talks. Honestly i kinda like this peace and silence he gives me, i swear to god that i will ignore him until he talks to me.
Is this ok to like the silent treatment? is he narcissistic?

My wife’s best friend who I will call Sarah moved in with us about 1 month ago after her husband had her arrested for getting physical with him and scratching his face. I have been a mutual friend with both Sarah and her husband that I will John. Our kids are friends and we would often get the families together. We have been put in the middle of the feud. John has a restraining order out on Sarah and the only way she gets to see the kids is supervised visitation. John listed my wife as the person that has to be present while her kids visit in 3 hour time blocks. I thought it was weird that John only listed my wife on there considering I am the only one (between my wife and I) that directly communicates with him (text and calls). John and my wife were always cordial to one another but between all 4 of us, they are the only two that had no real friendship. My wife is prettier than Sarah, and I have caught John staring at my wife’s chest and ass in the past. It never bothered me. During one of John and Sarah’s last fights, he said that Sarah’s face looked much older than my wife’s (both are very into skincare and anti-aging, so this really pissed Sarah off). John is an incredibly controlling husband that treated Sarah very poorly and my wife has always said that he is such an asshole and that she can’t stand him.
This is where things began to get weird…
After Sarah moved in, John continued to call me to discuss his wife. My wife told me that I was being too kind to him after the way he has treated her so poorly over the years, and having her arrested. My wife told me that it was time to choose a side (Sarah’s) and to stop talking with John. She told me I was two faced for continuing to speak with him. She called him Satan because he was already running around with a few different women and their kids, all while taunting her in various ways and trying to destroy her life. Suddenly John starts reaching out to my wife to schedule visitations with their kids based on my wife’s schedule. He could’ve listed both of us on the supervision list but he only put my wife. I suspect that he felt like it would lead to an open line of communication between the two of them(previously my wife didn’t even have his number in her phone) My wife acted very annoyed that she was put in that position because he never asked beforehand.. basically if Sarah wanted to see her kids, my wife would need to be involved. Here is where things got weird…
We had a birthday party for one of our daughters and we invited his kids to her party. He brought the kids and oddly stayed in the area with his youngest and waited around, but didn’t join the party. Later that day I sent him a text thanking him for the gifts they got. The next morning(Mother’s Day), one of the first things my wife does is send him a thank you text that I felt was a “gushing” thank you. It was weird to me that he was not only the first thank you text that she sent, but she only sent 3 out of the 8-9 parents that were there.
Is this thank you a bit much?
“We had the gifts mixed up but Sarah later clarified the gifts with the flower wrapping paper were from y'all! But as you can see, she loved them. Thank you very much for going out of your way to get them and for bringing the kids out to celebrate with Tara(our daughter) and waiting so patiently with jane(his youngest daughter). It meant so much to us!”
Here was my thank you the night before …
“Thanks a lot for all the stuff for Tara. She loved it all. You got much more than you should’ve”
John’s reply to my wife’s thank you text and then wishing her happy Mother’s Day.
“You are so welcome, a bit sad we were not able to be there as a complete family. Praying next year is different.”
“Happy Mothers Day, the kids and Dave are so blessed to have you.” (Clearly a compliment to her and a dig at his wife)
My wife’s reply…
Sunday 1:56 PM Thank you! I am sorry for leaving you hanging about today. Would you like to plan for around 430-730? We are getting a slow start and I just hoped to go to the beach for a little bit.
(She just says thank you? I would’ve thought she would’ve also said that their kids are blessed to have her best friend as a mom as well)
-John’s reply- That sounds perfect. See you then. Sunday 2:58 PM
(Sarah then sent a screenshot of the family app that they are legally allowed to communicate on. She told him that he was intruding on my wife’s Mother’s Day, and it was stressing my wife out, which was true. After seeing what Sarah told John, my wife felt compelled to reach back out to John with the following…
“Hey John. I'm not stressed. It just took forever to get the kids ready and out”
Keep in mind that he has repeatedly verbally abused her friend, has been hanging out with other woman, kicked her out of her house without her belongings, reported her to the state licensing board for her “arrest” and caused her license to be suspended, told her that he hope she died during an upcoming surgery she was supposed to have, and insulted her by implying that she was a harm to her kids and her best friend needed supervision during the time she spent with her kids… I was called “two faced” and told I was betraying Sarah, simply because I would answer John’s calls and texts.
We get home and John brings his kids over with a Mother’s Day plant and card (same ones, for my wife and Sarah). I thought this was weird and another way of slighting at Sarah, putting the two of them on the same level. The next day, my wife (who doesn’t garden) was watering the plants and walking around with the plants looking for a place to plant them. (I mentioned to Sarah that my wife watered the plants and she seems very surprised and upset that she did that, considering it was intended to be a slight to her.). I was very surprised considering our 9-year-old got her a plant from Lowe’s a year or two ago and she simply let it dry out and die on the counter (never watering it) which really hurt our daughters feelings….
Two days later I looked at my wife’s messages with John and was very surprised. My wife knew I had looked at her phone and sent me a nasty text to stay off of it. I told her that I was surprised that she was being so chummy with John considering how he has been treating Sarah, and had previously called me “two faced” for continuing to talk to John. I told her that her thank you to John was “gushing” and clearly made him feel good as he gave her a compliment about how blessed we were to have her immediately after that. I told her I was also surprised that she didn’t just have me tell him thank you considering she knows we talk and are friends. My wife got really mad and said she did nothing wrong and called me a jealous psycho. She said she would show the thread to Sarah because she had nothing to hide and did nothing wrong. I told her that I would strongly advise against it because I think it would hurt Sarah’s feelings and cause her to be upset with my wife. My wife continued to call me a lot of mean names and told me I needed professional mental help. She then changed the password on her phone. She then told Sarah that it would prob be best for her and John to coordinate through the app because I was acting very bothered by her talking to John (implying jealousy).
My wife and I began talking about the situation again yesterday and I told her that I wasn’t dwelling on it but wish she would acknowledge the inappropriateness of the conversation, considering the circumstances. She refused and again began calling me a psycho that is destroying her life. I told her that if she felt like it was a completely appropriate conversation, then she should show Sarah. She refused. She then sends me the following :
“I deleted his thread and his contact information. Accidentally called his number while I was trying to figure out how and immediately hung up. I’m sure you’ll say I called him on purpose. I have a screenshot of the thread so you won’t accuse me of trying to get rid of evidence.”
As it turned out, she didn’t have a screenshot of the thread. I found it very odd that she deleted the conversation (she did it during this last argument we were having about the appropriateness of it and telling her to show Sarah..
The other things that bothered me was that I wrote a kind Mother’s Day message on her Facebook, which she saw but never acknowledged on Facebook or said anything to me, and she completely ignored my happy birthday post to our daughter on Facebook. She was so quick to acknowledge the person she called “Satan” but not to her husband. I am considering the possibility that I am overly sensitive these days. My wife just went through a real bad case of postpartum rage where she was verbally abusive toward me and I genuinely felt like she hated me. It has left me with what she believes to be ptsd and says she feels very badly about it. It was the worst thing I have ever experienced and it nearly ended our family. Am I over-reacting or was my wife out of line?
Why did she delete the thread when I pressed her to show Sarah?
Was her thank you “gushing” and a bit much, considering the circumstances?
Is my wife really the one that’s two faced?
What should I make of John’s actions with my wife? Should it rub me the wrong way!?
Was telling my wife that we were so lucky to have her flirtatious and should she have replied that they were blessed to have Sarah!?
Would Sarah be hurt by my wife’s conversation with her husband?
Why did my wife feel so anxious to be the one to thank him for the gifts directly and praise him for coming and telling him it meant so much that he brought the kids and waited around?
Thanks in advance

Hi, you can call me Storm! I'm 30 and the mom of a loud and demanding cat.
I’m a multiple paragraphs/novella style writer. I love to write detailed descriptions and delve into a character’s head/emotions as well as surroundings. I compare it to writing a novel together. Not every reply has to be novella length, however. If there are action or dialogue heavy scenes, I tend to do a shorter back and forth to keep the momentum going.
I only do MxF (with me writing the female role). I don’t double, but I’m more than happy to write side characters of either gender to help move the story along.
I'm really hoping to find a friendship, someone who can add to our story, and most importantly, someone who wants a long-term connection.It's difficult for me to write with someone if I don't feel that genuine bond. It's also important to me to have a high level of activity, with at least one reply a day.
If you suddenly stop replying ic and ooc, I'll drop the story after 2 attempts of gauging interest spaced a week apart. But feel free to message me if you want to pick the story back up again, even months later.
Searching For:

• 21+ partners (Our characters will be 21+ as well)
  
• An excellent grasp of grammar, punctuation, spelling, and capitalization. (Literate to advanced writers only, please. I'm not looking for newbies)
  
• Enthusiasm to chat about our character and ship, how to crush them and then gushing over fluffy moments. I love crying over characters and what the heck they’re doing. I want my heart ripped from my chest from angst, then feeling like it’s going to burst from overwhelming cuteness. I want us to love these characters and the world we create. I want to make pinterest boards, spotify playlists, graphics, and toss headcanons back and forth until late at night.
  
• Have an idea for a scene? Found a picture that inspired you? Send it to me! Be invested when it comes to plotting/worldbuilding. There’s nothing worse than receiving one sentence in reply to two paragraphs of ideas, or having a doormat partner who says “sure” to whatever I ask. Building ideas one on top of the other, watching them snowball into amazing plot threads brings me joy. But having to pull plot ideas like I’m pulling teeth makes me think you’re not interested, and I will lose interest in return. Don't make me carry the entire story.
  
• While I'd prefer real life face claims, I'd also be open to using realistic art if you're uncomfortable with real life. Though I draw the line at anime/cartoon style art.
  

Interests:
modern fantasy, monsters, sci-fi, post apocalyptic/dystopia, soulmates, southern gothic/midwest gothic (i’m a sucker for that southern/texas drawl), horror, grumpy dark men x fiery sweet women, height/size difference, enemies to lovers, slow burn romance, spooky small towns, mysteries/crime, and much more!
I have lots of original plot ideas in mind as well.
Fandoms (OCS ONLY)
Star Wars, Stranger Things, Mercy Thompson Series, True Blood, The Last of Us, Hunger Games, Fallout (TV Show)
I only use discord to write. Drop me a PM or chat message. The most effective way to grab my genuine interest is by messaging me as if we've been friends for years. Please let me know which interests you liked from my ad.

I just want to say, this is NOT me telling you that all of your worries or fears are right. This is just me saying that I think for ME, breaking up may have actually been the right decision.
My ex and I had a VERY healthy relationship. Stable, comfortable, and pretty calm. But we didn’t have a spark nor did we have any passion at any point of the relationship. We rarely had things to talk about outside of work, and this was consistent even at the start of our relationship. It got to the point where I never wanted to be intimate with them, and they didn’t either. I was going back and forth in my head thinking “i’m not in love with this person, idk if I ever was and ever will be” and it turned out… I actually wasn’t in love with them.
This isn’t saying you all are in the same boat, I am just saying that for ME, i was analyzing so much that I think I forgot the way I felt in my past relationship isn’t what I’ve felt before them nor is it what I know can fulfill me long term.
Regardless, I just wanted to share my experience and let you know everything will be okay

Hello. I don't usually frequent this sub, and I've only skimmed the rules so I hope I don't make any mistakes in formatting.
tl;dr: 5 years ago, I (now 22F) broke up with a long time friend (now 23M) who I was very close with, almost romantically involved. In the meantime, he became diagnosed with schizotypal disorder, was institutionalized by his parents, refused to go to treatment, and began starving himself (eating about once per 1-2 days, regularly not sleeping for 30-40 hours). More than half a year ago, I was contacted by his mother, who said that he was really not doing well, and that he told her I was his closest and most trusted friend. She asked me to help him, but I'm close to giving up. The only reason I haven't is because I feel bad about his mother and that he says he's always in pain.
Just to quickly summarise, the reason we broke up initially was because we had many many arguments over the years -- he had issues obeying boundaries set by others (he claimed that he wanted to hear facts and logic rather than emotions), and I had been insecure, emotionally unstable, and often did not express myself clearly. The breaking point came when he tried to obliquely pressure me into participating in a furry petplay bsdm roleplay with him as a 'dominant' (without using any of the words -- he claimed it was just about ownership, which is really a type of companionship). We argued about it for days before I said okay, fine. (For context, I was neither a furry nor had any knowledge of bdsm, also I was 16.) Incidentally, he has informed me recently that apparently he had already been roleplaying as a submissive for years online at that point, objected to my characterisation of that as grooming, and claimed that he was trying to be subtle about it because it was taboo.
Now to the present. What I've been doing is mostly ignoring him until I'm mentally ready to say something to him, because it causes me some stress to talk to him. However, he has a plan where he'll reveal the root cause of his pain to me, and that'll allow him to finally work on other things I've been asking him to work on (namely, actually eating, sleeping, keeping a diary, and generally taking care of himself). For this reason, the entire week he has been spamming my dms or even calling my phone. Furthermore, he has started calling me on the telegram app whenever he requires my attention and I don't respond. It frustrates me because often he either calls at past midnight hours, where I'm almost asleep, or in late evenings when I'm either doing work or having fun with my actual friends. Once I was drawing with a friend and he insisted I drop what I was doing to tend to him. Even though I always decline the calls, it serves to draw my attention and force me to engage his chat.
This came to a head yesterday night, because it was 2am, and I was about to fall asleep when he called again. He insisted that he needed to call me now, that it was a life or death situation, a once in a lifetime chance for him to "open his muzzle" and reveal truths. I told him no, and he continued asking/begging, either by saying that he was in a lot of pain, or by asking me if I could hide in the washroom for a 5 minute call or type while he talks (I said that it was bloody 2am, I wanted to sleep, and I didn't want to disturb my family). I maintained a flat no and managed to go to bed again after an hour of this silly back and forth.
The next morning he complains that he hasn't slept, feels immense pain, and that he's extremely upset that I did not pick up his call the night before. We argued even further, and when I returned from lunch he had spammed my dm with upwards of 50 messages. I told him to go to sleep if he was in pain, and when he said he couldnt because he was hungry, to get some food. We argued further and he complained that I wasn't supposed to answer to those messages, and that I knew food was a trigger for him.
After even more arguments, I said that if he cannot stop sending messages to me by himself, I can block him and unblock him for a few hours so he can actually sleep. When I blocked him, he called my actual phone, and told me that it's not the correct method to deal with him (because 'denying curiosity is fueling it', and that 'I should tell him to relax and go to sleep'. I told him to screw off and stop calling my phone without permission, and he told me that he wanted me to delete all the messages since the 50 message spam. So now I've told him I've blocked him until a few hours later, and that I will block him if he calls me thrice today (which he did and I promptly blocked his phone number).
The thing is that I know he is deeply sick, but I don't think I can continue helping him if he continues to repeatedly overstep clearly stated boundaries and continuously making excuses for his behavior. Furthermore, he claims he has been trying hard, but I learnt from his mother that he lied about quite a few things prevent his image from being damaged in my eyes. He also never discusses actual steps he takes to improve his problems (namely, starvation??) but would repeatedly write messages about being in pain, about being a feral animal, and about his paranoia about institutions being out to catch him.
Apologies for the long post. Appreciate if anyone has any input. I understand that being in pain makes self-control difficult, but sometimes I feel like he's just using it as an excuse to act on the first impulse that pops into his head.

Hi, you can call me Storm! I'm 30 and the mom of a loud and demanding cat.
I’m a multiple paragraphs/novella style writer. I love to write detailed descriptions and delve into a character’s head/emotions as well as surroundings. I compare it to writing a novel together. Not every reply has to be novella length, however. If there are action or dialogue heavy scenes, I tend to do a shorter back and forth to keep the momentum going.
I only do MxF (with me writing the female role). I don’t double, but I’m more than happy to write side characters of either gender to help move the story along.
I'm really hoping to find a friendship, someone who can add to our story, and most importantly, someone who wants a long-term connection.It's difficult for me to write with someone if I don't feel that genuine bond. It's also important to me to have a high level of activity, with at least one reply a day.
If you suddenly stop replying ic and ooc, I'll drop the story after 2 attempts of gauging interest spaced a week apart. But feel free to message me if you want to pick the story back up again, even months later.
Searching For:

• 21+ partners (Our characters will be 21+ as well)
  
• An excellent grasp of grammar, punctuation, spelling, and capitalization. (Literate to advanced writers only, please. I'm not looking for newbies)
  
• Enthusiasm to chat about our character and ship, how to crush them and then gushing over fluffy moments. I love crying over characters and what the heck they’re doing. I want my heart ripped from my chest from angst, then feeling like it’s going to burst from overwhelming cuteness. I want us to love these characters and the world we create. I want to make pinterest boards, spotify playlists, graphics, and toss headcanons back and forth until late at night.
  
• Have an idea for a scene? Found a picture that inspired you? Send it to me! Be invested when it comes to plotting/worldbuilding. There’s nothing worse than receiving one sentence in reply to two paragraphs of ideas, or having a doormat partner who says “sure” to whatever I ask. Building ideas one on top of the other, watching them snowball into amazing plot threads brings me joy. But having to pull plot ideas like I’m pulling teeth makes me think you’re not interested, and I will lose interest in return. Don't make me carry the entire story.
  
• While I'd prefer real life face claims, I'd also be open to using realistic art if you're uncomfortable with real life. Though I draw the line at anime/cartoon style art.
  

Interests:
modern fantasy, monsters, sci-fi, post apocalyptic/dystopia, soulmates, southern gothic/midwest gothic (i’m a sucker for that southern/texas drawl), horror, grumpy dark men x fiery sweet women, height/size difference, enemies to lovers, slow burn romance, spooky small towns, mysteries/crime, and much more!
I have lots of original plot ideas in mind as well.
Fandoms (OCS ONLY)
Star Wars, Stranger Things, Mercy Thompson Series, True Blood, The Last of Us, Hunger Games, Fallout (TV Show)
I only use discord to write. Drop me a PM or chat message. The most effective way to grab my genuine interest is by messaging me as if we've been friends for years. Please let me know which interests you liked from my ad.

Hi, you can call me Storm! I'm 30 and the mom of a loud and demanding cat.
I’m a multiple paragraphs/novella style writer. I love to write detailed descriptions and delve into a character’s head/emotions as well as surroundings. I compare it to writing a novel together. Not every reply has to be novella length, however. If there are action or dialogue heavy scenes, I tend to do a shorter back and forth to keep the momentum going.
I only do MxF (with me writing the female role). I don’t double, but I’m more than happy to write side characters of either gender to help move the story along.
I'm really hoping to find a friendship, someone who can add to our story, and most importantly, someone who wants a long-term connection.It's difficult for me to write with someone if I don't feel that genuine bond. It's also important to me to have a high level of activity, with at least one reply a day.
If you suddenly stop replying ic and ooc, I'll drop the story after 2 attempts of gauging interest spaced a week apart. But feel free to message me if you want to pick the story back up again, even months later.
Searching For:

• 21+ partners (Our characters will be 21+ as well)
  
• An excellent grasp of grammar, punctuation, spelling, and capitalization. (Literate to advanced writers only, please. I'm not looking for newbies)
  
• Enthusiasm to chat about our character and ship, how to crush them and then gushing over fluffy moments. I love crying over characters and what the heck they’re doing. I want my heart ripped from my chest from angst, then feeling like it’s going to burst from overwhelming cuteness. I want us to love these characters and the world we create. I want to make pinterest boards, spotify playlists, graphics, and toss headcanons back and forth until late at night.
  
• Have an idea for a scene? Found a picture that inspired you? Send it to me! Be invested when it comes to plotting/worldbuilding. There’s nothing worse than receiving one sentence in reply to two paragraphs of ideas, or having a doormat partner who says “sure” to whatever I ask. Building ideas one on top of the other, watching them snowball into amazing plot threads brings me joy. But having to pull plot ideas like I’m pulling teeth makes me think you’re not interested, and I will lose interest in return. Don't make me carry the entire story.
  
• While I'd prefer real life face claims, I'd also be open to using realistic art if you're uncomfortable with real life. Though I draw the line at anime/cartoon style art.
  

Interests:
modern fantasy, monsters, sci-fi, post apocalyptic/dystopia, soulmates, southern gothic/midwest gothic (i’m a sucker for that southern/texas drawl), horror, grumpy dark men x fiery sweet women, height/size difference, enemies to lovers, slow burn romance, spooky small towns, mysteries/crime, and much more!
I have lots of original plot ideas in mind as well.
Fandoms (OCS ONLY)
Star Wars, Stranger Things, Mercy Thompson Series, True Blood, The Last of Us, Hunger Games, Fallout (TV Show)
I only use discord to write. Drop me a PM or chat message. The most effective way to grab my genuine interest is by messaging me as if we've been friends for years. Please let me know which interests you liked from my ad.

There are still big areas of grey with the remaster and some are not likely to be pointed out for a while. I know "you can do whatever you want of your game", but I'd like to know how things are supposed to be handled RAW/RAI.
Specifically for spellsthis is what we are doing: We are now avoiding using legacy spells, so, let's say, Dancing lights and Mirror image are gone and we use Vitality lash instead Disrupt undead
BUT
We still use legacy spells from sourcebooks not still updated like Time pocket from the Dark Archive
AND
We still use legacy spells that are gone from Player Core but are a granted building block for classes in sourcebooks not still updated (e.g. granted Mirror image for Laughing shadow Magus). The only way to have Mirror image in uor games is to be a LS Mage lvl.7.
What are your thoughts about this and what are we officially supposed to do?

Hey, this is my first post and English is not my main lenguaje, so sorry about that.
My 18F girlfriend and I 18M have been together more around year now. And she doesn’t want to have sex with me. We have never done it, and I’ve never pushed her to do it either. The thing is, she has said before that she wanted to do it with me. Multiple times, until very recently. She just said she wanted to get in birth control because she’s very paranoid about getting pregnant, I obviously agreed. Times goes on and I don’t push the conversation, we’re both busy and it’s not that big of a deal. Last night we were in bed and I asked about sex, she said she didn’t want to do it, and when I kept asking why and her not answering me, she tried to leave by herself (it was very late and it’s very dangerous for her to walk alone at those times. Plus if her dad found out I let her walk all by herself at those times he would kill me). I agreed to drop the conversation, move on and drive her to her place. I got really confused, I don’t think I asked a weird question to ask when you’re in a relationship, mainly with the previous context. The part that gets me more confused, is that we both were going to a CrossFit camp out of state together (before we were officially a thing but at this time we were very into each other), for personal reasons I couldn’t go. So she went by herself, I never questions anything, just asked how it went, she told me about it and that was it. Months later (we’re already dating at this point) we were talking about our first times and I confessed I was a virgin. She told me that she had her first time in a camp, I asked her what type of camp and she said CrossFit. I asked her about it and she tried to cover herself by saying something “did I say CrossFit?” Even though she did eventually confess that it was the same CrossFit camp we were supposed to go to together. I felt like shit, you went to a CrossFit camp you invited me to go with you, and you fuck a guy that she said she had only talked with in face time? She also said she only used a condom btw, no birth control, didn’t even ask him if he had any HIV’s (she’s also very paranoid about that). She excused herself saying that we weren’t dating at the time, and she doesn’t see it as cheating. I was still hurt but didn’t keep bringing it up. Not after many months after that she still says she doesn’t want to have sex with me, I’ve tested for HIV’s (I’m clean), I’m willing to used both condoms and her to be on the pill. But she just doesn’t want to. And I don’t get it. I’m her boyfriend, but not with me. But a random guy? And the cherry on top, when I asked about it last time, and told her it makes me feel like shit when she says that she won’t have sex with me, she tells me I’m trying to manipulate her. I need some advice people, thanks for reading.

Hi everyone, sorry for the long and messy post.
For context, we just had a 2 week trip to Korea. There were 5 of us in the trip and I was the one who planned everything. Initially, it was supposed to be just me and boyfriend but I thought why not inviting more people which is more fun and cheaper for accommodation. So I invited 2 of my bf’s best friends Kevin and Matthew and one of my friend, Kara, who I recently hang out more and close with. This is when i made a mistake. Kara was taken and I dont know much about her or her boyfriend but I invited both of them. Eventually only Kara decided to go and her boyfriend gave her $7k to spend in the trip as he couldn’t go. Things started getting pretty weird when there’re a couple (me and my bf) 2 single guys and a taken girl in a trip staying together for 15 days. Kara dragged me to those designer clothing stores and buy stuffs without looking at the price. She could literally spend 3k in a day. I can’t afford these stuffs and also not interested so I kinda split out to go with my boyfriend and his friends. Most of the time I still went with her because we both like thrifting but her range of prices are completely different from mine. And we just cant communicate well about it. What made me not want to hang out with her anymore is I feel like she has a serious spending problem and complete different mindset about finance and life with me. I mean she spent so much in this trip while she’s in her 30s and got no job. She’s just living her parents money. One more thing that make me annoyed is that Mat is our really good friend, he’s really nice and never say no to anything and I feel like she used him the whole trip as if he’s her boyfriend (make him carry her stuffs, ask him to do stuffs for her, etc). I dont know but I dont feel like I want to be friend with her. I cant be bothered to care about her and I cant open myself to her because I know we have a lot of disagreements. For example, she thinks that a partner is more important than family because family cant go with you until the end of your life only your partner can. And for me I have the opposite opinion, I always put my family first and then myself and then my partner.
AITA? I feel bad for thinking about her like that. But it’s just so hard to compromise. And so many times during the trip I regret inviting her in the first place.