Has anyone come out in a rash whilst taking clomid

Thank you for this universe!
And many thanks to for being a full co-writer on this project!
Kaeden and Vichee belongs to and I thank them so much for working with us! It was an honor!
Sven belongs to Bjorn the Copper Paladin from Discord. I hope to do more with them in the future, and have tons of fun!
And don’t you worry about that final in the title! We have some news at the end!
[First]- [Prev]- {Next Story!!}

{Is the reason that everything happened to Tarlim in the first place?}

{Only up to the ramps, mostly. Trying to impress upon people the importance of accessibility for those with extenuating circumstances. At least according to the records I have access to.}

{The average person knows as much about his friends as they do about Mike Collins.}
<...Who?>
{Exactly. 20th century human spaceman, was there for their first lunar landing. Didn’t get to put boots on the ground, and nobody remembers his name now.}

{Hell, I didn’t even know about him until I put in a search query of niche historical figures just to give you an example. Yeesh…}

(Program Selected.)
(Resume Selected Media? [Y])
(Playing…)
Archived Closed Circuit Security Video - Establishment: Exterminator’s Office - Dawn Creek Division - Subbasement - Date Recorded (ST): OCT 31, 2136 - Timeframe (ST): 11:42 - 11:45
The parking bay is silent. Vans are parked neatly in their spots which frame the hallway to the armory and fuel storage for the camera. A ding is heard and something moves in the hallway. Five fully suited Venlil and a Zurulian step out of an elevator and run towards a van. The sound of a door slamming open comes from the hall roughly 6 seconds later. A stream of Exterminators pour out into the hall from the stairwell.
Their voices are indecipherable as they speak over each other. A Sulian runs into the armory and reappears with a huge flamer tank on their back. Another Zurulian can be seen with an extinguisher tank, but a Venlil bleats at them and tosses it aside. They drag the quadrupedal alien quickly into the parking garage before physically throwing them into the back of a van.
From the back of the hallway, a fluid can be seen spreading across the ground. A trio of Venlil back out of a room while holding their flamers up. They are unlit, instead spewing fuel out of their nozzles. The trio twirl around in an overly animated manner as they walk down the hall to the parking garage. A van pulls out of its spot with windows down so the passengers could let out a cheer.
A black-suited Venlil runs up to the spraying trio while waving their arms to get them out into the garage. The microphone just barely manages to catch him saying, “We need to save some for the predators!” One of the other Venlil replies, “Yes sir, Mafchi!” A short flurry of curses is heard as the gathered exterminators pile into the three other visible vans. Two of the vans speed out of the garage, forcing some other Venlil exterminators to dive out of the way in the process.
The black-suited Mafchi picks up a fuel canister that had been dropped and twists off its cap. He slings it under his shoulder and pours a line of fuel. He marches straight to the final van and hops up into the open rear. The van backs itself up to turn out of the garage. The fuel canister clatters to the ground as it pulls away. Before it clears the view of the camera, the Black-suited Venlil is seen standing in its open back. He is holding what appears to be a flare gun.
The flare sails through the air shortly after the van leaves the frame and impacts the ground. It bounces and rolls until it touches the fuel and ignites it in an instant. A small wall of fire proceeds down the provided trail into the hallway, igniting more fuel as time passes. The hallway is quickly engulfed in vividly red fire. Thick black smoke begins to pour out into the garage as the fire inches closer to the primary fuel tank.
Movement can be seen in the hallway between the flickering flames. The silver form of a Venlil Exterminator is seen rushing out of the stairwell and fighting to head towards the fuel storage room. Before they reach, a white flash fills the screen. The feed goes dead, the error code consistent with electrical interruption.
(Specified Media Concluded.)

{Who was what? Mafchi?}

{Hmmm, there aren’t any tags embedded for them. The suits do a rather good job at making the officers anonymous. Let me see…oh.}

{The, uh… the employment records for that Office were…terminated.}

{It looks like…yes, here. Record wipe in 2497. Media with less than 1 bistandannual visit were removed to save space on the university’s central server. It’s…they’re gone, gone gone.}

{Maybe, but that’ll do us no good if we don’t know their name. And because of the chaos of that incident, nobody has been able to accurately reconstruct where every individual was in that office. We’d have to already know who they were to find them.}
<...I guess that’s another person I’ll have to remember then, huh?>
{...Guess so. Speaking of remembering, perhaps you should check out Tarlim’s view again? Seeing how we were just talking about him.}
<...Sure. At least people remember his name, right?>
(Command: [exitprogram])
(Are you sure? [Y])
…
{-Program Selected-}
{-Restart From Last Playback Point? Y/(N)-}
{-[USERID-11229KMD]: procViewHist -}
{-Retrieving Transcription Viewing History…-}
{-List Retrieved - Select Desired Subject: (Tarlim)-}
{-Restart From Last Playback Point? (Y)/N-}
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Memory Transcription Subject: Tarlim, the Venbig. Date [Standardized Human Time] October 31st, 2136
No matter how much Sven and Anso griped about it, having them leave and return with the trailer was a great idea. The humans who had gone with them the first time were, to my dismay, excited to try and ride in the back. I had at least been able to impress on those four that I couldn’t let anyone else ride like that, and that they were to help with rigging a trailer with some seats.
I had to admit; they did a good job!
Several couches sat bolted to the floor of the covered trailer and even had some ropes that could be hooked across the armrests as impromptu belts. It wasn’t perfect by any means, but it would work as well as any bus or short train ride! Certainly superior to jumping in the bed of a truck.
I strode out into the parking road and swayed my ears to greet Anso. Sven had stayed behind here to meet with the humans and entertain the kids, a job which he was slightly less unenthusiastic about compared to last time. “Greetings, Anso! Have you made the necessary preparations for the humans to leave with you?”
The Yotul hopped out of the truck bed and bounced to me. “We have! I have to say those humans were great workers to have helped get this whipped up so quickly! I hope Sven has been behaving himself?”
I let my tail wag behind me remembering my last glimpse of him. He should really secure his sheath straps! “He has! Been entertaining the refugees while I made sure they all had their belongings ready to go. Come on inside, let’s go gather them.”
I guided him with a wave of my arm as we turned back to the door. To be truthful, I hadn’t expected Sven to win the humans over as quickly as he did. Needless to say, his primitive attire seemed to spark joy within them, a joy sorely needed amidst the sadness of recency.
As we entered the building I noticed something, or rather, the lack of something. When I had exited only a few [minutes] prior, the building had been full of life and noise. Now, it was almost dead quiet, save for the sounds of a holovision coming from the lobby. Rather heated sounds, at that.
“I didn’t think it was already main rest claw,” Anso mused as he, too, recognized the aggravated voices coming from the lobby. “And what are they watching in there? Sounds…angry.”
“Yeah…” I trailed off as I followed the noises. As I approached the lobby, the sound of what I assumed was a Gojid yelling. “You know nothing about my family. TALK, JUST FUCKING TALK, NOW!” My ears pinned back at the foul language at play, hoping that Sven and the children were somewhere else.
As I entered the room, I saw that I was only half right. The children were thankfully nowhere to be found, but Sven was obviously present, as was most of the facility staff. I was about to ask what was going on before another voice drew my attention to the holovision, the same as everyone else. The voice of none other than Chief Nikonus.
“There were three of us who laid out the groundwork for the Federation. When Kolshian explorers came in contact with the Farsul, more than a thousand years ago, the galaxy was young. We were the first in this sector to escape our gravity well. You know about the founding of this institution, but I reiterate it just in case.”
“The Krakotl were the third,” another voice piped up from behind the camera. I thought it might’ve been another Gojid, but the voice was far too breathy. Harchen, maybe? I wasn’t given a chance to consider it further as Nikonus continued. “Yes, they were a problem from the start; aggressive, disagreeable. We tried to identify the problem, and why they were so ill-equipped for spacefaring.”
“We learned they were scavengers, who would occasionally go for fish as well.”
His next line was rendered inaudible by the shocked gasps of both the refugees and residents in the room. I was no different, drawing in a sharp breath at the abrupt admission. I remembered that Arvi had said some aliens were revealed to have eaten meat in the past, but was this the way it was decided to be revealed? With such abject callousness?
Nikonus continued to speak, looking not just proud, but smug with his words. He went on about how the Federation had saved these aliens with their manipulations, but the entirety of his body language seemed to indicate he reveled in how devastating this information would be to the people he was speaking to. How they manipulated an entire culture, a RELIGION!
What if they did the same to ours?
That horrifying thought struck through my mind like a derailing train. I had relied upon the Tenets in some of my darkest moments. Found comfort in them when there was none elsewhere to be found. To have such a comfort revealed as a lie in its entirety, used only for some other group to control you…
The voice of Nikonus hit my ears again. “Oh Sovlin, I already told you. For the small minority of species who don’t find herbivory alone, we teach them the right way. Doesn’t the religion against predators sound familiar?”
The Kolshian was insufferably proud of those words. There was no doubt in my mind now; this was mocking. Mocking a Gojid for following The Protector. For being a predator. For being different, but expecting to still be treated as a person. The Gojid were predators, they couldn’t help it, and they were already being mocked for it.
What might happen to all the other species?
I shifted my focus away from the screen to the crowd, searching for one in particular. Vichee, a Krakotl already so different from everyone else, and now my concerns for them were multiplied with every word that fell from Nikonus’ mouth. Were they okay? They had come in here to see Sven, I had seen them. Where are-
I spotted Kaeden in the corner of the room. Next to him, slumped against the wall, was Vichee. The dual colored Krakotl’s eyes were glazed over as they stared at nothing. I strode over quickly, my instincts wanting to comfort them. Kaeden was simply standing there, it was confusing that he didn’t seem to be comforting Vichee at all. As I got closer, their head tilted up to me, regarding me with an unfocused eye.
“He was right.” They said quietly. My implant almost didn’t pick it up over the sounds of the lobby. “Kaeden had asked me soon after our first meeting if Krakotl had once been meat eaters. Said it was the shape of our beaks. ‘More suited to capturing small wriggling prey than filtering algae’. He told me. I nearly flew away right then… If I had, I would have been alone with this news.”I listened, kneeling down to be closer to their level. “You’re not alone, your herd is here. Right Kaeden?”
He looked over at me and nodded. “Vichee was there with me when Earth was attacked. I’m here for them now. Kaabra and Venik are… together, elsewhere at the moment. But they will be here too.”
I flicked my ears in understanding. “Then I hope they may help in hugging Vichee until their tears are dry.” I turned an eye to Vichee. “Please, I just want you to know that you are still you. What your body does has no effect on your personhood.”
Vichee still sat, their mind still likely whirling with the new information. They lifted their differently colored wings. “I’m well aware. This lesson I already learned. But thank you, I understand what you mean.” Kaeden nodded slowly and Vichee returned to their thoughts.
“There’s going to be trouble soon, Tarlim,” Kaeden stated gravely. “News like this? Nothing good will come of it. I can already tell this won’t go over well. Keep your eyes open.”
As if in response to his words, the sound of clanking metal hits my ears. They shoot up, pivoting to locate its source. There, dashing towards the door, was the armored figure of Sven. I didn’t know him enough to know how this broadcast would affect him, but running was never the best sign. I flicked my ears goodbye to my friends and rose, following after the metal man. In my periphery, I saw the television screen had shifted to show Rolem moving onto the stage. I would have to miss whatever it was he had to say, so ducked through the doors and continued to follow the sound of metal.
As I exited, I saw that I wasn’t the only one to see Sven’s actions. Anso was bounding behind him, shouting something I couldn’t hear. Sven didn’t seem to either as he kept running, but his gait wasn’t one of fear. He looked purposeful, sprinting in a straight line. A line pointed right towards-
Towards the observing Exterminator Van.
The metal Venlil didn’t even hesitate at the presence of the fence. He leapt up in a display of strength and agility, vaulting over the barrier and continuing his beeline into the van. It was like phased through the doors with how fast he moved. There were sounds of commotion that followed his entry, and soon two Exterminators fell out of the van. One Venlil…and one Krakotl. I wonder how Kalek is taking things.
I, too, cleared the fence with only a high step and reached the van, peering in to see Sven at the controls. “Sven! What are you doing?” I asked, the Krakotl officer shivering on the ground in my periphery.
“They got my girl!” He huffed, “She’s a Gojid, they got her, I can’t let them do anything worse to her!” He tried to activate the vehicle to no avail, but his words brought up something that I hadn’t thought much over. I remember hearing about temporary emplacements that were being set up. Paly had texted me about exterminators bringing people there. Her too. And that would mean-
-THOOOOOOOMMMMM-
The wind hit me like a truck and rocked the van I was standing next to. Sven even stopped trying to fiddle with the controls to see what had just happened. In the distance, near the center of town, an enormous black cloud rose into the air, the vestiges of fire still burning in the suspended embers. I couldn’t look away from it as my mind raced with horrible possibilities as my mind tripped over itself trying to concoct a plan of action.
I wasn’t given long to think before the radio in the van crackled to life, startling both Sven and myself. “Attention all True Exterminators! The truth has come out about the taint in our midst! For too long we have lived with its danger in our presence! If any of you still hold the safety of The Herd in your hearts, come join us so we may burn ALL the predator taint from this District! Rendezvous at Vulen’s apartment complex, we shall start our cleansing there!”
The name of one of my landlords sparked familiarity in my mind. They had been working to build a series of new apartments to add to his old, and if I remembered, had agreed to house the Gojid refugees. The Gojid! Paly was housed with them!!
In an instant, I reached into the van and grabbed Sven by the arm. He tried to pull away, but my grip was too strong. “Sven! They’re gonna kill the Gojid! They’re gonna burn Paly!”
He finally managed to shake himself free as my paws became jittery from stress. “I gotta save my girlfriend! She’s in a facility! I gotta save her!”
“But they’re gonna burn people here!” I protested, “we have to do something! We need- We need People who can fight them! Kaeden! I need to get Kaeden! We can save them!”
I pulled myself away from the van and spotted Anso nearby. He must have had to go through the gate, but this was good timing. I pointed a claw at him. “Do Not Let Him drive off before I get back!”
I didn’t give him, nor the Exterminators who had recovered from their shock, time to ask questions. Paly was in danger, as were who knew how many others. I faintly heard my data pad chime from within my shoulder bag, the signal my heart was beating too fast, but I couldn’t deal with it right now. I could get the heart rate under control during the drive. Right now I needed Kaeden, he knew how to fight! How to save people when others were trying to kill them!
My paws guided me and I was back in the cafeteria before I knew it. Some of the crowd had dissipated, but Kaeden and Vichee were still in the same corner I had left them in, but with their Venlil friends now joined. Without leaving time for protest, I grabbed Kaeden’s arm and pulled him away. I heard Vichee squawk behind me, but I was in too much of a hurry. I can’t let her get hurt. I Won’t.
Kaeden started to slap my arm as I dragged the soldier across the lobby. “Tarlim! What the fuck are you doing?? What’s going on?”
“No time, they’re going to burn everyone,” I breathlessly said as I burst the facility doors open to get him to the van.
“What? Who?” Kaeden questioned, still resisting my pull. I could hear a tinge of worry in his voice, and I knew he would understand. Anso looked back from his position as he heard my approach, and upon seeing me dragging Kaeden along, he grew visibly concerned.
“On the radio, something about True Exterminators,” I attempted to explain to him as we neared the gate doors. This time, I simply spread them apart with my free paw, metal screeching against itself as the gate was forced open. “They’re going to burn every cured species they can find, and That Means Paly. I Won’t Let Them.”
Kaeden had stopped struggling as I explained the bare essentials to him, and once we approached the van, he finally had enough sense to ask the right questions. “So what exactly is the plan to stop them? We’re strong, sure, I could probably take most of them. But just two of us against a wall of those flamers?”
“Not two,” I corrected, letting go of his arm and throwing open the back doors of the van. Still seated in the drivers side was Sven, who looked back once he heard me permit entrance into the back. “We have him too.”
“Wh- the LARPer??” Kaeden asked incredulously. I wasn’t familiar with the term he used, but his tone told us all we needed to know. Sven’s eyes narrowed at the perceived insult, but Kaeden continued. “Do either of you have any formal military training?? Rushing down there is only going to get you both killed along with the others! For fucks sake, slow down! We need a plan!”
“T-There won’t be t-time f-for one,” a voice peeped in from behind us. We all turned to face the source, and we found it was the Venlil Exterminator. They recoiled under the sudden gaze of our entire party, but they managed to continue. “I-I recognized the v-voice. It w-was one of the n-new recruits. They m-might as well be Y-Yulpa. If you w-want to stop them, it’s now or n-never.”
We all stared at them for a moment in disbelief that they’d willingly hand over that information to us. They were Exterminators, weren’t they? They should be allied with the voice on the radio! Kaeden, after considering the information, gave voice to my confusion. “And why are you telling us this? You’re an exterminator, shouldn’t you be trying to help them?”
“M-My husband is the Krakotl that was in the van with me!” They yelled back, stamping their footpaw on the ground in agitation. “I-I don’t care what his ancestors did a t-thousand years ago, I will not stand for those zealots burning who knows how many people! We’re not all the same, h-human!”
I was taken aback by their words. I had given up hope that there were any redeemable souls amongst the ranks of those silver-suited brahkasses, but living proof of the contrary stood before us. Their breathing was only matched by mine as my pad continued to chime in my pack. Maybe there’s hope after all.
Kaeden started frantically looking all around, his focused gaze falling on the facility, the exterminator in front of us, and the rising smoke in the distance. After a moment's hesitation, he growled to himself and shook his head. “Fine! Fucking- if you want to prove you’re different, you and your partner stand guard at the gate! They’ll probably try to send a division here, so keep on guard! And for the love of God, go ask for help if that happens!”
My tail wagged behind me as I interpreted what that meant. “So you’ll help us, Kaeden?”
He paused for a second, an agonizing second as he fully took in the situation in his mind. But ultimately, he nodded. “Let’s go, we can figure things out along the way.”
Seizing the moment, Anso quickly jumped into the van and pushed Sven out of the driver's seat, much to their visible frustration. Kaeden quickly hopped into the passenger seat, leaving me with the problem of finding a space that would fit me. I stepped over to the back of the van and threw the doors open.
The flamers and their fuel tanks were useless to us, easy to toss all three sets out onto the ground behind me. I made sure that the flamers were disabled first, of course. Just had to snap the pilot lighters and slice a hose with my claw. Even if these two said they weren’t like these “True Exterminators” I didn’t trust them one bit. I crawled inside the cramped vehicle and wiggled myself to close the doors behind me.
As I got myself settled, I watched as the Venlil Exterminator started to inspect the destroyed remains of their weapons. I squinted a glare at them and positioned myself so they couldn’t enter with me. “You two aren’t coming,” I hissed. “You know why you’re not. Try anything with the humans, and they will stop you.”
I slammed the doors shut as their expressions fell, just in time for Anso to get the van into gear. I curled myself up against the wall of the van, watching out the back window as we sped down the road. We were on our way now. On our way to save Paly and all the people gathered because their ancestors ate meat. My heart hammered in my chest, but I would need to control it for what we were about to do. I needed to focus. I needed to breathe. I needed to be calm.
Focus. Breathe. Calm
Focus.
Breathe.
Calm…
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Memory Transcription Subject: Sol-Vah, Fleeing Predator. Date [Standardized Human Time] October 31st, 2136
My legs couldn’t carry me anymore. I had to keep going, but I didn’t have the strength. My pants became wheezes as my body struggled to keep up with the physical exertion of running almost halfway through town. I hadn’t even looked up before now, at least with eyes not blinded by tears. The pain of Mute’s rejection still stung in my soul, a pain so visceral it threatened to rip me apart worse than any Arxur. Protector, what did I do to deserve this? Is there even a Protector, or did the Federation just- just make that up?
I didn’t have time to think about that now, I needed to get to the office. From what little I caught of the broadcast, Nikonus had said they saved us before. I knew what it likely was, but…I was desperate. I just wanted to go back home and have him embrace me like he did before. The safety and love I had felt from him was still fresh in my mind, and if there was any chance I had to get it back?
I’ll happily take it.
As I approached the office, however, something seemed off. I could smell soot in the air, but not the kind of soot that came from our flamers. This was- was…dirtier smelling, as if the fuel had been impure. Upon looking up, however, I saw something that made my stomach drop. A huge plume of smoke, billowing up into the sky. It shadowed the sun itself with its immensity and hate. Did the Exterminators burn more drugs? Or…or…
I felt a renewed vigor as I started to run towards the plume, hoping against hope that I was wrong. As soon as I turned the corner, though, my worst fears were realized. Where the office once stood now sat a burning stack of glorified rubble, every single window in sight shattered and multiple holes in the outer walls. The building was split, it was as if a giant knife had come down and sloppily sliced off its front half to spill flaming debris everywhere.
I stood in front of the building I had once called my home, surrounded by screams and the awful sound of flames roaring. I knew now there was no hope of salvation, no way this could ever be undone. I would never be able to go back to the way things were, never feel the happiness I had for that brief time. I was doomed to this life, abandoned by my love, and forced to live as an abomination devoid of a home.
I suppose that’s all a predator like me deserves.
[First]- [Prev]- {Next Story!!}
You read it right: This is going to be the final chapter of "Of Giants and Journalists." With the conclusion of Sharnet and Vekna's adventure, we will now take the time to show how this announcement has affected our characters and the galaxy at large. We're excited to announce our new series, Nature of a Giant: Aftermath! This series will not be quite as in-depth temporally as Of Giants and Journalists was, mainly because not as much will be happening in as short of a time. Rest assured, though, there will still be plenty of action across the board! You just won't have to deal with over half the story only covering a week of time!
In that vein, we are also excited to announce we are working on another bonus series, one that was teased a long time ago, Venric Lawven: Legal Legend! It will be filling the gap for content while we work on the first few chapters of Aftermath to make sure the scenes are as quality as they deserve, but will have a reduced upload schedule to once a week to accommodate for writing two series at once. On behalf of both of myself and , we'd like to thank all of our readers for sticking with us on this journey. It's hard to believe this series has been going on for over a year in one form or another, but I wouldn't have it any other way! Thank you all again for your continued support, and we look forward to seeing you again with Legal Legends! And then...
The Aftermath!!

Hey everyone thanks for reading my post. I'll warn you it's going to be long.
I have a neighbor who's also been friends with me for a couple years. Her husband has a lot of health issues & he had a huge health scare last year. Ever since this happened she hasn't been herself. Understandably so. She is now caregiving for him full time on her own & had to quit her job.
For the past year or so it's been tough being around her. She's not always in the best of moods. I tried to advise her to consider putting her husband in a nursing home or having a aid come in to take some of the stress off her. That didn't make her happy. Also told her I worry about her because all of this stress & anxiety she's going through isn't good for her & could affect her physically at some point. She told me not to worry about her that she was fine.
Her husband has always been negative & I told her that being around him was not good for her because all that is going to rub off on her.
I'm tired of having to hear about him everytime I hangout with her. It's starting to affect my mental health being around her. All her negativity & feelings is rubbing off on me. I'm very attached to her & wish I could just stop feeling that way. I can't handle being around her anymore. It's just too much. I think i may need to distance myself from her for a while.
What should I do? Am I being too harsh? Anyone been friends with someone who was a caregiver? How do you manage? I help her when I can but she's also not one to flat out ask for it.

"I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, saith the Lord, which is, and which was, and which is to come, the Almighty."
Rev. 1:8
"I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. In order for someone to be the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end, he would have to know every little thing from eternity, and also every little thing from eternity. the future, including eternity, who can know such a thing but God? Of course, someone could say that it is, but that would be a lie and it would not be true and only God can claim: "I am the Alpha and the Omega the Beginning and the End" because:
God is omniscient
“Lord! You taste me and know when I sit down and when I stand up; You know my thoughts from afar; When I walk and when I rest, You are around me, and you see all my ways on my tongue, but You, Lord, see, You have already covered me behind and in front and placed Your hand on me. Your knowledge is strange to me, I cannot understand from Your spirit, and where would I flee from Your face, You are there. To descend into hell, to rise on the wings of the dawn, and to move to the end of the sea: And there your hand will lead me, and your right hand will hold me darkness hides me; but even the night is like light around me. Even the darkness will not be eclipsed by you, and the night is as bright as the day: darkness is like light, you created me in my mother's womb, that I am wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, and not a single bone of mine hid from You, although I was woven in the depths of the earth, she saw my embryo all written, and the days were recorded, when they were not yet, how unfathomable are Your thoughts, God! How great are their numbers”
Psalm 139:1-17
In this psalm we see how many facts God knows about us, but that is only a small part because God has far more knowledge about us, but it is practically impossible to express it in words, and here we see that God knows when we sit down, when we stand up, what we do, how we work, he knows all our ways, all our words that we have spoken, he writes that he knows even our thoughts, we can further see that God knows the past, present and future, knows everything about us even before our birth, etc. This clearly indicates that we cannot do anything without God's knowledge, and this applies only to us humans, who are only a small part of God's omniscience.
Here are a few examples that are close to us from life, something that everyone can understand because not all people are scientists or academic citizens, there are far more "ordinary" people, especially throughout history, and the Bible is written in simple understandable language so that everyone can understand him.
And from this it is clearly seen and everyone can understand that God is omniscient.
"There is none holy like the Lord; for there is none other than Thee; and there is no rock like our God. Speak no more haughtily, and let it not come out of your haughty mouth. for the Lord is God who knows everything, and he executes the purposes."
1 Sam.2:2-3
Here, these verses confirm again that the Omniscient God had a practical lesson here, a friendly advice from God, and it applies to our life, it applies to what we do, how we do and what we say, because God knows everything he does to me, so if we persist, we refuse to live according to the will of God, it is our own fault and one day we will bear the consequences for it. Of course, God does not want to force us to do something, it is our choice, but it is great wisdom to listen to the advice that God gives us because God does not want us to perish so that all may live, and that is the meaning of the word "repentance" from 2 Peter.
"The Lord is not late with His promise, as some think He is late, but He is patient with us, because He does not want anyone to perish, but for all to come to repentance.
2 Peter 3:9
God is present everywhere
We said that God is not limited by earthly laws, nor can the essence of God be fathomed. creation, knowledge, giving, forgiveness, salvation, etc.
"But will God really live on earth? Here, the sky and the heavens above the heavens cannot contain You, let alone this home that I am building".
1 Kings 8:27
"For His eyes are turned to the ways of men and He sees all their steps. There is no darkness or shadow of death where those who do iniquity can hide."
Job 34:21-22
"Where would I go from Your spirit, and where would I flee from Your face? If I go to heaven, You are there. To go down to hell, there you are. To rise on the wings of the dawn, and move to the end of the sea: And there Your hand will lead me, and Your right hand will hold me. To say: Yes if the darkness hides me; but the night is also like light around me. Even the darkness will not be darkened by You, and the night is as bright as the day: darkness is like light. For You created what is in me, you formed me in my mother's womb. I praise You, that I am wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, and my soul knows it well. Not a single bone of mine has hid from You, even though I was created in secret, woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my embryo, in Your book it was all written, and the days were recorded, when there were none of them yet."
Ps. 139:7-16
"The eyes of the Lord are everywhere, seeing the bad and the good."
Proverbs 15:3
"Am I God from near, says the Lord, and am I not God from afar?" Can someone hide in a secret place so I don't see them? Speaks the Lord; do I not fill heaven and earth? Speaks the Lord.”
Jer. 23:23-24
"If they bury themselves in the lowest part of the earth, from there my hand will take them; and if they go up to heaven, I will take them down from there; And if they hide on the top of Carmel, I will find them and take them from there; and to hide before my eyes at the bottom of the sea, there I will command the serpent to bite them"
Amos 9:2-3
"And there is no substance unknown before Him, but everything is naked and exposed before the eyes of the One to whom we speak."
Hebrews 4:13
God is almighty
In the Bible, we find through different time periods and different manifestations of God's omnipotence, so we will mention some.
We see from the Bible that Abraham was 99 years old, but that he had no offspring, and on one occasion God appeared to Abraham and said:
"And when Abraham was ninety-nine years old, the Lord appeared to him and said to him: I am God Almighty, live according to my will, and be honest. And I will make a covenant between me and you, and I will greatly multiply you. And Abraham fell prostrate. And the Lord spoke to him again and said: From me here is my covenant with you that you will be the father of many nations."
Gen.17:1-4
We further see that Avram was not really sure about that, so he thought that he would never have children with his wife Sarah
"Then Abraham fell on his face and laughed, saying in his heart: When will a son be born to a man of a hundred years? And Sarah? Will a ninety-year-old woman give birth?"
Gen.17:17
And here we can see God's omnipotence, because he told Abraham something that was not very clear to the human mind, but it was very clear to God, that's why he said it to Abraham. We later see from the Bible that this promise was fulfilled, and it was fulfilled because God is omnipotent because He possesses all the knowledge and then it is no problem to fulfill the given promise. This or a similar promise can only be given by God because he is omnipotent, and let's imagine that now we humans make a promise about something that will happen in the future. That promise may happen by chance, or only one part of it may come true, or it may not happen at all, we don't know, but God is omniscient and omnipotent, and when he makes promises, he fulfills them.
We can see the fulfillment through the Bible, but here is just one verse.
"The tribe of Jesus Christ, son of David, son of Abraham"
Mtt. 1:1
Next we have the event when the Lord sent Moses to Egypt to lead the people of Israel out of slavery.
Here we can see that God appears to Moses as God Almighty and not under some other name.
"God is still speaking to Moses and said to him: I am the Lord. And I appeared to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob by the name God Almighty, but by my own name, Lord, I would not be known to them."
Exod.6:2-3
The next example is from John's revelation, where we have a scene in heaven where four living beings praise the Almighty God, and in order for someone to be omnipotent, he must possess the power that sustains everything, and such power is possessed only by the Almighty God.
"And after this I heard a great voice of many people in heaven saying: Alleluia! Salvation and glory and honor and power to our Lord;
Rev. 19:1
,, And I heard as the voice of many people, and as the voice of many waters, and as the voice of strong thunders, saying: Hallelujah! For the Lord God Almighty reigns."
Rev. 19:6
It says that the Lord God is glorified in heaven, who is omnipotent and who reigns, and in the Gospel of Luke we can see from where the Lord reigns.
"The Son of Man will sit at the right hand of the power of God."
Luke 22:69
Therefore, the Lord is on the right side of the power of God and reigns from there, it is written about this:
"...All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me."
Matt. 28:18
The Lord reigns because He is El Shaddai or God Almighty. God possesses infinite power or power that is eternal and has no end, and the part of the prayer "Our Father" reminds us of this.
,,...Because Your kingdom, power, and glory are yours forever. Amen"
Matt. 6:13
God can use this force at his discretion without any trouble or difficulty to create something as in the past when he created the earth and everything living on it or as he is creating today or as he will create in the future.
"Ah, Lord, Lord! Behold, You created the heavens and the earth with Your great power and Your uplifted arm; nothing is difficult for You."
Jer. 32:17
,,He made the earth by his power, established the world with his wisdom, and scattered the heavens with his understanding; When he utters his voice, the waters roar in the heavens, he raises steam from the ends of the earth, he sends lightnings with rain, and he brings forth the wind from his stables."
Jer. 10:12-13
Humans are very intelligent beings and practically they can create anything they want up to certain limits, but in creation we read that God used only a word and it was created, he did not need any material like we need to create something and there is another proof that God is almighty.
,, And God said: Let there be light. And there would be light"
Gen.1:3
"By the word of the Lord the heavens were created, and by the spirit of His mouth all their hosts"
Psalm 33:6
In the Gospel according to Matthew, we read about how only the word of God is needed to heal a person and the disease is defeated, God does not need to be
,,.And the captain answered and said: Lord! I am not worthy that you enter under my roof; but just say the word, and my servant will be healed"
Matt. 8:8
Although God with his power has unlimited possibilities, he will never use his power in such a way as to be in conflict with other attributes of God. We have an example in the confrontation of the Lord Jesus with the cross where Jesus could only say a word and angels would be there who could destroy the whole world and not just the enemies who nailed him to the cross.
"Or do you think that I cannot now beg my Father to send me more than twelve legions of angels?"
Mtt. 26:53
If it had happened that way, it would have contradicted the Father's will and the intention with which the Lord Jesus came to earth, and then Jesus would not have been able to say:
"I glorified You on earth; I've done the job you gave me to do"
John 17:4
Here we see that God uses his almighty power for his glory to fulfill God's plan because what he intended must be and nothing but the will of God can change that plan.
"The Lord of hosts swore, saying: Indeed, it will be as I have planned, and as I have planned it will be done."
Isaiah 14:24
God has planned in advance how the nations will receive the Word of God and it is written about in the Acts of the Apostles where it is said that the evangelizers will receive the power of the Holy Spirit and then practically no one will be able to stop them in that work until they fulfill the activities that God has planned.
"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit descends on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria and there to the ends of the earth."
Acts 1:8
And finally, let's mention something that hasn't happened yet, but it will happen when the Almighty God will say the Word again and it will be what is written in the revelation and after that what we read in Isaiah.
"And out of His mouth came a sharp sword, to slay the Gentiles with it; and He will strike them down with a rod of iron; and He treads on the cauldron of wine and hearts and the wrath of God Almighty."
Rev. 19:15
"For, behold, I will create new heavens and a new earth,"
Isa. 65:17
Let us also mention that with this power the Lord Jesus defeated Satan in the desert
"Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. And after fasting for forty days and forty nights, he finally got hungry. And the tempter approached Him and said: If You are the Son of God, say that these stones become bread. And He answered and said: It is written: Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God. Then the devil took Him to the holy city and placed Him on top of the church; So he said to him: If you are the Son of God, jump down, because it is written that he will command his angels for you, and he will take you in his hands, so that you do not trip over a stone with your foot. And Jesus said to him: But it is also written: Do not tempt the Lord your God. Again the devil took Him and took Him to a very high mountain, and showed Him all the kingdoms of this world and their glory; And he said to him: I will give you all this if you fall down and worship me. Then Jesus said to him: Get away from me, Satan; because it is written: Worship the Lord your God and serve Him alone. Then the devil left Him, and behold, the angels approached and served Him."
Mtt. 4:1-11
Finally, here are a few more verses that confirm that God is almighty:
,, And God said to him: I am God Almighty; grow and multiply; a nation and many nations will become of you, and kings will come from your loins."
Gen.35:11
"For the Lord your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, a great, mighty and terrible God, who does not look at who is who, nor does he accept gifts;"
Deut.10:17
,,And said, O LORD God of our fathers, art not thou God in heaven? and rulest not thou over all the kingdoms of the heathen? and in thine hand is there not power and might, so that none is able to withstand thee?"
2 Chron. 20:6
"From the north it comes like gold; but in God there is a more terrible glory. He is Almighty, we cannot reach Him; he is of great power, but with judgment and great justice he does not torment anyone"
Job 37:22-23
"Look, I am the Lord God of all flesh, is there anything difficult for me?"
Jer. 32:27
"And Jesus looked at them and said to them: With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."
Matt. 19:26
,,And Jesus looked at them and said: With men it is impossible, but not with God: for all things are possible with God."
Mark 10:27
"Because with God everything is possible that he says."
Luke 1:37
We have seen several examples of God's qualities that confirm the verses that the Lord Jesus gave John to write down. The only "Someone" who possesses the qualities that we have studied can say that he is the Almighty, and that is God, the Lord Jesus Christ.
"I am Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End, says the Lord, Who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty."
Rev. 1:8
The verses we have studied should strengthen us in our faith because if God promises something, He surely fulfills it, and in this case it refers to the coming of the Lord Jesus Christ in glory.
God reveals the fulfillment to us in 21 chapters where he says:
,, And he said to me: It is finished. I am Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End. I will give the thirsty from the spring of living water forever."
Rev. 21:6

Hey LegalAdviceUK,
The situation is that I worked for the Post Office. On the 18th of April, I decided to resign and I was unable to do notice. I've been threatened with having 4 weeks' worth of wages deducted from my pay as that's what the contract outlines, and the 'time that it takes for them to find a replacement'. Here is what the contract states:
'If you leave without giving the proper period of notice or leave during your notice period without permission. The Employer shall be entitled, as a result of your agreement to the terms of this contract, to deduct a day's pay for each day not worked during the notice and any sum so deducted will be in full and final settlement of The Employer's claim for your breach of contract. The deduction may be made from any final payment of salary which The Employer may be due to make to you. The amount deducted is a genuine attempt by The Employer to asses its loss as a result of your leaving without notice. It is not intended to act as a penalty upon termination.'
'The length of notice which either party is obliged to give the other to terminate, your employment is mandatory four weeks' notice period is required in all circumstances, failure to do so and leaving without notice period will incure in deduction of cost to employ external staff to cover that notice period.In extreme cases we might terminate your employment if we consider it deemed in business interest'
I've asked my manager to clarify if it meant that I'd be losing the previous 4 weeks' pay. She proceeded to block me. My area manager soon talked to me about the situation, and after discussing things, I just said I'd resign. She confirmed that it just meant that I wouldn't be paid for the 4 weeks' notice since I won't be working that and I would get my pay, before proceeding to block me. I've sent emails to try and discuss things with my boss, but he's refused to contact me, nor give me a payslip to show where the deductions have been taken.
On the day that my pay comes, the 1st of every month, I noticed that I had nothing come for me. After another email, to which I wasn't given a reply, I talked to ACAS to start early conciliation, they talked with my boss, and he replied that he is firm on the contract and refusing to pay me at all. Finally after talking directly face-to-face with my manager, she talked to my boss and said that I would have a letter coming for this. This was on the 6th of May, though, and I've had nothing arrive since then.
After talking to some friends, they said that while he can take deductions from my pay, he must still pay me for the hours that I have worked, and afterwards in a claims court, take the money back while providing proof rather than retroactively pretending that there was costs. I have talked to my previous coworkers and had them send out the work rota to me, showing that he has not hired anyone at all during my 4 week notice.
For context, I'm paid minimum wage and just want my 79 hours of work paid to me. To this day, I'm still waiting for my pay and I'm prepared to do an Employment Tribunal but I'm unsure of the steps or if I'm able to sort this out without resorting to that, is there anything that I can do concerning this?

I think I came up with a good concept on how to tackle two next eliminations without there becoming a powerstruggle with the big villian alliance numbers or making it irrelevant. I also didn't add anyone returning to the game cause Idk if its actually confirmed we're getting one or not.
So the first merge episode, I think its time to say bye bye to Aiden. He's not doing much anyway so it is a decant boot early merge, but it will help to close two plotlines, with one of them receiving a satisfying ending. The two plotlines being Jake x Tom love mess with Aiden kinda 3rd wheeling their plot and the other being Gabby getting revange for Ellie. Jake x Tom needs to progress further and now that they will be able to interact with eachother more since its merge, I have a feeling that Aiden will be just driving them into square one again. I would like for his involvment to end with him telling Jake that Tom in fact does not have a bf (wow shocker :0) and just burying the hatchet with Jake after mature convo with him, highlighting that Jake is capable of growing as a person and Tom is now the one acting immature. Second closure that we should get with him is the Gabby ravenge. Getting rid of Tess was defo a step in the right place for Gabby to feel better, but I think she really should get one of the boys out to feel satisfied. Remaining contestants knowing the threat of villian alliance should unite in the vote against villians (yes even Jake after what I just talked about), so it would come to 5-5 tie, with two on the chopping block being Aiden and Riya. But... Gabby as explosive and awesome as she is would want to take Riya's spot in a tiebreaker, with full knowledge of the risk that if she loses, she will be the one going out. Of course she beats him cause she's the best and it would give her a personal feeling of accomplishment beating a person who voted her gf
Next episode, the one voted out in my eyes should be Riya, but there will be a twist dw. The plot that I specificly want to push forward here is Grett and Yul's drama, it should all spill out right here, with Yul getting all the hate from others and villian alliance becoming unstable. Somehow tho Yul will win an immunity in the challenge so he is not the one going home right after all the stuff just started getting interesting. Remaining members of the villian alliance will still vote as a group, but Yul knowing he is all alone (cause the rest of villians will choose Grett's side), has an easy slide into the other side of the cast which is at a numbers disadvantage (of course just for a vote not an alliance), he would immidiatly suggest Riya vote, I don't think he would want to target Grett, cause he doesn't really care for her or see her as a threat. So after the episode we'll have 5-4 vote with Riya going, messed up villian alliance and a scarier Yul. Also I want to get rid of Riya as Grett's emotional support, I know she is slaying at that, but I really wanna see Gabby and Grett start to bond again this time for real ☺️
Thanks for listening to my Ted talk :3

I 32 M like my coworker 35F - we have been colleagues for a couple of years but recently I developed feelings for her. We are good friends and have good rapport as well. After much deliberation I gathered the courage and did shoot my shot. Not surprisingly, I got turned down.
She said it's her and not me and that she isn't ready for a relationship (she got out of one 2 years ago) and has lot of baggage. She also said she cares about me and anyone will be lucky to have me.
Obviously, I think she was just softening the blow and for me if it's a No it's a No. I didn't push her and asked her to not justify her decision , she however continued talking about her past and how great guy I am blah blah blah.
I thanked her for her time and for not taking it negatively. I told her I will always care for her and my last act showing care for her would be to let her go. She said she would love to be friends and want me to be part of her life - basically friendzoned me. I said yes only because we work together, else I would have blocked her and moved on.
Now this is where the problem comes in - we work together and I have been so far (2-3 weeks) able to keep things professional and mentally feel.a bit better when I'm away for her and WFH. However the moment I see her (we see each other 3 times a week) it puts me.off my game and I spiral back into depression.
I have been trying to ignore her - work wise I don't, but I stopped initiating things like asking for coffee during break, lunch together etc. We had drinks the other day with others and I ignored her and she later asked me if everything is okay as I seemed silent. Well how can I be okay when I see her happy and see her that my feelings don't affect her anyway at all. That hurts me
I can't seem to move.on and I'm in depression and she is enjoying her life. How do I deal with this and get better. I can't change team or jobs so the situation is what it is.
TL DR Coworker rejected me and seems happy. I am in depression and if I feel better - I see her in the office and all my strength is lost and I become sad again knowing I'll never have her. How do I deal with her as changing job/team is not possible and I want to feel better.
Please help out your brother.

Summary of Domestic Violence lies
My gf of 1.5 yr whom I referred to as my wife has lied to police about Domestic violence and had me arrested multiple times and is now throwing my stuff out/ selling it/ destroying it / converting it.
There is no contact order and she filed a restraining order with hearing coming up soon
I had to take a plea deal to get out of jail so how do I sue her if I plead guilty to some fucking lies 😪😪😪
i want to sue her for ruining many incomes I had, emotional turmoil for having another man immediately in my home and bed and making me experience these events, and physical harm from having to live homeless with extreme fibromyalgia pain with no property or access to my finances. I have to prove that she is mentally unwell and how she caused equal if not more damage to the property. She cuts herself since 12 years old and then makes me look like the aggressor when I have to be worried about her and keep checking on her because she’s hurt her self before via pills or cuttingand hitting things in an emotional stupor to the point where her hands are numb and bruised. fetalpositioning in the bathroom for hours for example. She does that so often and puts me in a strange position to where I can’t feel comfortable with her being alone. We could be out doing laundry or grocery shopping and she’s so quick to jump out the car as if I’m threatening her and I’m put in a position where all I want is for her to just get in and we can go home and be calm. She’s fetal positioned in the snow, mid drive and laid there in the snow where any nearby residents can easily call 911 and I’d be getting arrested there for no reason as well. She incomplete called 911 at least 4 times during our relationship. She has zero initiative or perception of building a life. She’s quit jobs for no reason at all, missed days and blamed me for that. She would skip work whenever she felt like and even quit jobs for no reason like Walmart for example. June 20 - August 9 2023 When I went to Dominican Republic for an emergency trip to get help with my fibromyalgia, she felt the need to quit her job then as well with little regard for the financial situation, she had a guy come over then as well at least 3 times. She was going to strip clubs doing who knows what while I was away and aware that she was out to such venues. Upon my arrival, I was forced to lose my crypto investment valued at $4000.00 approximately to keep us from eviction which would now be worth about $15,000.00 and was once valued at over $70,000.00. She had little regard for the things I was doing to build a life. Clearly she was not on a progressing mindset with me. She spoke to me about having my children and marriage because we loved each other whole heartedly but then lies to the state of IN and states what we were simply dating or have dated when we had a very serious, intimate, sexual relationship that I 1000% was intent on creating a life for us. I should have seen the red flags 🚩. I have been taken for granted and my life and liberties are not to be infringed upon like this. She lied to police and now I have a record and have to refund $1000+ from my Etsy business. Not only that but she has all my property meaning I cannot sign into my email and do very basic things such as access to my debit card balance or logging into anything at all . She has access to my personal phone and laptop, and has probably tampered with critical evidence that I need to prove that I am not abusing that woman. She has destroyed some or all of my property by throwing it outside for anyone to steal or whether to destroy. I have at least $4000.00 worth of property in the house that she may or may not have destroyed. A no contact order does not give the “victim” the right to convert / destroy or sell my belongings. If she was so “terrified” of me, she would not have paid over $2000.00 to bail me out when she had me tased and arrested in January 2024. Only to cry wolf again 2 more times in April 2024. I need Justice and I need it Now. You think you’re on the same page as someone, building a life with them, and they disregard your entire life as if it means nothing. She has trauma from her past but putting me in jail and ruining my life was nowhere near necessary. I was saving my money to move into my own place when she got me arrested. I never intentionally hurt her, only restrained her or even self defense after taking more than 10 hits from her. Please help.
List of Suffering
Destruction of property (my lock box was broken into. I found my old ponytail from when I cut my hair in 2013 Junior year in Dominican Republic) Unable to change clothes after jail because I only have one outfit Needlessly tased (heart felt like it was going to stop) Unnecessary U-Haul arrangements Pain from having to sleep on hard, urine, soaked concrete benches while in Marion county booking (26 hours to get me processed on April 19, 2024) Being threatened by inmates (violent offender, said he bite my nose off randomly) About $80 unnecessarily spent on commissary in Marion county ADC jail Neglect of my health (no meds from outside jail, fibromyalgia, pain, 10 out of 10, no glasses for my astigmatism, unable to go to my urology appointment for my suspicious lump, my EBT has been canceled and I am unable to eat freely, not eating well in Marion county, adult detention center(jail) , can’t maintain my Maryland bridge implant (tooth) , hindrance of my disability claim with Atticus, homeless now with no property while in intense pain (was writhing in PAIN at ADC ) Extreme, L5, S1, spine and nerve pain midsection and up to neck and arms April 22 to April 23 if jail footage is available unsanitary conditions, reusing dirty towels, and clothes gave me rashes in Marion county adult detention center jail Stress of losing my valuable possessions Stress of having to focus, my limited energy to battle against Madeline Christine Fenwick, who is a loved, beloved part of me, legal or not. (not anymore obviously) Stress of life, ending life, changing false claims and unjust charges leading to extreme loss of wages, due to improper investigation Lies and slander on my name and record Time wasted Money, wasted, and lost Brain rotting in jail, more than once Disorientation of date and time while in Marion county adult detention center jail Drinking unsafe, water inside Marion county, adult detention center jail Eating and forcing myself to eat disgusting tasteless food in Marion county adult detention center jail Neck pain from uncomfortable sleeping conditions in Marion county adult detention center jail Having to eat other peoples food scraps, inviting unknown bacteria into my body in Marion county, adult detention center jail because they don’t feed you enough Humiliation from having to shower or use bathroom and presence of approximately 60+ men Having to make makeshift tools, such as a basic pen No access to basic Internet Life uprooted for no justifiable reason Extreme boredom, anxiety and resentment, for no justifiable reason well in Marion county, adult detention center jail No money or help from the outside(my only contact was Madeline whom I cannot contact due to unjust NCO) no access to my property or belongings or home via unlawful protection order Cannot take care of my hair inside Marion county Adult Detention Center, jail Having to hoard food and unsafe temperatures only to still go hungry in Marion county, adult detention center jail Had a fight in jail and scraped my elbow pretty bad inviting who knows if the carpet in there has ever been cleaned thoroughly Mouth and oral sanitation. Difficult to maintain in Marion county adult detention center jail No access to my personal business with income hindered unjustly by Madeline Christine Fenwick, while in Marion county adult detention center jail and afterword as I am homeless now Very little sleep well in Marion county adult detention center jail Having to hand wash clothes that is three times my size as that is what I was given in Marion county Adult Detention Center, jail Another man’s bodily fluids on my bed (she already has someone else in my home from her new job)

Big rant alert
I love my mom a lot, I don’t hate her and I don’t think she’s inherently a bad person. Honestly though I have many memories and feelings that make me feel like I was very emotionally neglected. My mom is a victim of many forms of abuse by her adoptive parents, she told me while I was a young age that she wanted kids of her own to create a good family which looking back feels very strange with the context. A bit later, which started when I was again very young she met a guy, I’ll call him Keith, and Keith was very very neglectful towards me. He had kids of his own and therefore he didn’t want to give me more attention than his kids, and he would often see me doing self harm as a young kid like choking myself and hitting myself as funny. He would also yell at me and sometimes would trap me under bed sheets until I couldn’t breathe. I remember one time I was young and had to have a stool to step on to see myself in the bathroom mirror, I stepped on it not knowing our cat had its paws beneath it and the cat screamed. I was horrified and immediately stepped off but Keith was home alone with me and heard it, he immediately opened the bathroom door and yelled at me while I tearfully tried to explain what had happened. My mom did nothing and defended Keith. I also came home with my mom one night to see rose petals and candles all about, Keith came out and was affectionate with my mom, but then proceeded to tell me to stay in my room the entire night, the only reason I came out of my room later was because I had to pee so badly and I was so scared when I did, before i peed I stopped by moms room and asked if it was okay to use the bathroom, keith said yeah as if I was stupid, again my mom did nothing. I longed for a dad figure to be there because my biological dad (let’s call him Kyle) left when I was about two and I had a very limited relationship with him. My mom forced me to call him every week even when I would beg not to and after each phone call to him I’d be devastated for days. Later on when I was about nine years old my mom, although very estranged from Keith, got with him for a bit and had a kid, my baby brother (I’ll call him D), but Keith didn’t want anything to do with D and I ended up helping with raising him while my mom worked. I love D but he has many special needs and I ended up helping a lot, taking him while my mom felt stressed and would sometimes throw things (which she did with Keith, I have several memories of her throwing stuff like silver ware and keys close to Keith’s face, which six or seven year old me would try to regulate, I’d run after her trying to comfort her). A year later she had my sister (I’ll call her T) and when she told me she was pregnant I cried my eyes out because I was so stressed already with D and I knew my responsibility’s would become more especially since Keith didn’t want anything to do with D and T. I remember we went out with dinner with my grandparents that night after she told me about T and I had to pretend everything was okay especially since my mom didn’t want them knowing. Fast forward a bit and my mom has a new fiancé who was super weird and hated me from the get go. It came to a head when he sent me a text that I didn’t respond to immediately and he stopped talking to me. He even told my mom I was dead to him and she didn’t do anything but relay that to me. She would also tell me everything he disliked about me, one day before school she went on a rant about all the stuff he thought I was doing wrong and was bad about me, and in my first period class other kids were trying to comfort me, even ones I didn’t know, because they saw that I was in such a bad mental state and couldn’t hold it together. They would also have sex loudly in the room next to me, I told her I felt uncomfortable hearing it and she told me to get earplugs even though I was like 13 and couldn’t afford anything. I also tried to tell her I felt like I was third wheeling their relationship like with Keith, she told me to stop talking and walked away. She would also tell me that R hated me and my siblings and often talked about leaving me with them forever. Later on they had a kid together (I’ll call her O) during my sophomore year of high-school. She also has some mental problems and so it was difficult, when she was an infant my mom informed me I wasn’t going to be in physical high school anymore, that she enrolled me in online high school so that I could take care of O throughout the day and pick up D and T when they got out of school. D was in first grade though while T was in kindergarten so I often would help raise O, go and get T and then go back to get D while carrying O and guiding T. I also would have to stand outside and wait for T to get out it kindergarten with other parents while holding O but I was under strict instructions not to let anyone touch O because my mom didn’t want it. Later on I finished high school and went to online community college, while that was happening she met her newest man who is now her husband (let’s call him Ray). Ray is still in her life but again didn’t like me. The first night he was there he told me he was angry with me because in his eyes my mom was doing all the work and I was doing nothing (he first came over when I was with family which I coordinated with my mom but he saw it as I was gone and she had to do everything). Then the patterns began to emerge again, my mom would tell me that Ray would go to her and tell her that he was pissed at me. Not only that but both my mom and Ray would come to me for advice on how to keep their relationship good and I tried to help as best as I knew how. Later on he and my mom had a kid (let’s call him R) and I would have to take care of R and the rest of the kids for hours on end, often being the one to find ways to help him stay calm and feed him. Ray would offer me weed and alcohol often, later which he used against me as a way of being like “I’m giving you things so be grateful”. Later on in that I came out of the closet, my mom was mad at me for it and wouldn’t tell me she loved me for months, she barely acknowledged me and yelled at me. Ray would tell me he was ashamed of me especially for upsetting my mom. He would often tell me I was lazy, irresponsible and dumb. Also after I came out he told me I was unnatural and dumb. Later I was in the early stages of moving out and he literally told me “yeah well if you were actually smart you’d stay here with us” and would also shame me for comforting my siblings after he would yell at them and hit them. He very much prides himself on how he can intimidate people especially me and whenever I spoke up with him he’d sit me down and make me shake. There was one instance where I actually stood my ground a bit and told him “well hey I didn’t back down” and his response was “HA yeah that’s cuz I didn’t force you to back down”. My mom was present at that conversation and completely defended him, even in conversations with her and I she completely defends him all the time. I’ve tried to tell my mom how much Keith, R and ray hurt me and she’d tell me to basically shut up. Especially with Keith because according to her that was in the past and therefore didn’t matter now. I also confronted her about how depressed and suicidal I was when she neglected me after I came out and she said I was responsible for how I felt in that time period. I also couldn’t have mental breakdowns or panic attacks around her because she’d say I was overreacting and dumb for doing so. Despite all of that I still feel like I’m in the wrong, which is why I’m talking about it here, I still feel like I need confirmation that I’m not a horrible kid. In my teen years I was very angry with her after all that happened with Keith and eventually R, I wasn’t the nicest person to her and I feel really guilty about that. So idk, maybe I’m in the wrong here, idk. I just need some clarity ig.

Sorry if this is not allowed, didn’t really know where else to post and have a few thoughts and wanted to see if anyone else has been following along recently -
Basically, long story short, Dom and Ella from a previous season (both of whom I was a fan of during their stint!) have their podcast - Sit With Us. They did some interviews with the most recent MAFS cast, including Jack and Tori. I don’t really listen to their podcast at all, but I was intrigued by how they would handle the Jack and Tori stuff and the “muzzle your woman” comment given that Dom was very outspoken around her edit and the onlyfans stuff etc.
I was pretty disappointed at the episode - the “muzzle your woman” comment was brought up, but I felt it was kind of brushed over as well as I think Ella saying something like “you were pushed” which… kinda of insinuated that Jack was PUSHED to say something so vile which I don’t agree with.
So it’s kind of blown up, and Abbie Chatfield (whom I personally really admire) spoke out (commented on some of Sit With Us’ clips, posted some stories and did a podcast ep on it ) explained how/why she was so disappointed etc and why it was wrong to give Jack a platform and her disappointment and disgust in how the interview was handled. I agree with pretty much everything Abbie had to say about it and felt she eloquently/articulately explained why I felt so icky about the episode.
ANYWAY, So Dramatic has been posting her commentary on it which is fine - she is a pop culture/reality tv content creator I guess, but she’s kind of spun it into a “this is why I backed off from Dom, I’m glad people are finally realising” etc
And now Olivia has started chiming in with the same kind of commentary and sort of saying stuff on her stories like “this is my redemption arc” which… ok.
I think at this stage Dom and Ella haven’t really addressed it properly or taken ownership of how poorly the interview was conducted I guess.
What are people who have been following this thoughts on it? My are -
• Dom and Ella massively dropped the ball here. They were ill equipped to interview Jack properly and made light of a really, genuinely misogynistic comment that Jack made. And I get that sometimes people say things they don’t mean or regret in the heat of the moment, but what Jack said doesn’t come from nowhere. I think he has said things like that before. It was the language chose to use that was the issue. You are not “pushed” to say things like that. And in light of the recent DV incidents highlighted in the media, it was just so tone deaf to air this episode. I work in a field where we see a lot of DV cases and it’s just… fucked. The amount of ADVO listings at your local court everyday is fucked. Language matters.
• I feel bad that Abbie continually has to be the one to call this stuff out.
• I kinda feel like So Dramatic and Olivia using this as their way of saying “see! Dom IS bad!” Is icky. It takes away from what the actual issue is and turning into something more … trivial. I think the abuse Olivia received online was horrendous tbh and she didn’t deserve it but I think it’s a bit eh to post stories about how karma caught up with Dom etc.

A 70s stinker, big monster, off the path and more this week.
The TL;DR The Visitor: A remarkable cast is wasted in this bizarre Italian semi-sci-fi riff on The Omen, The Fury, and others. The Ruins: Absolutely riveting tourism gone wrong horror. Deathgasm: Top tier horror comedy that hits similar notes to Dead Alive. My Heart Can’t Beat Unless You Tell It To: Part family drama, part thought experiment. A look at a trio of people who are dead inside, each in their own way. The Lake: Special effects are the star of this “Thaiju” feature, but there isn’t much else to it. Moloch: Needed some edits but fans of folk horror should enjoy this Dutch offering. Lovely, Dark, and Deep: In the forests of the night, it gets credibly creepy. Low budget, but a great lead and fine visuals.
The Visitor (1979): “I can’t kill children – only the evil part.” After a psychedelic encounter on a planet with a lava lamp atmosphere, an old man lets blond space Jesus — who has been telling hairless kids about how “Commander Yahweh” slew the demonic Sateen — know that a spiritual descendant of Sateen has been reborn on Earth. Cue 70s style soundtrack, and here we go! Or would go, if anything ever happened. The film is a total mess, with bizarrely long takes of John Huston (!) and others pacing or staring or driving in one scene and rapidfire edits in another. Lance Henrikson’s (!) Ray is more robotic than Bishop, and Shelley Winters (!) and Sam Peckinpah (!!) don’t make much of a difference. Allegedly, the cast only participated to gain a free trip to Italy, which I hope they enjoyed. Huston’s distinctive voice is the film’s only redeeming quality, but you’re better off hearing it elsewhere. Gore: 1/10. Nudity: None. Tubi.
The Ruins (2008): “Aren’t you glad you came?” Iceman and Jena Malone (who had a memorable makeout session in Neon Demon) venture with their friends to some off the path Mayan ruins, where the locals welcoming in a “We wish you’d never, ever leave” way. As it turns out, I’d already seen this one long ago; hearing the “cell phone” ring immediately tipped me off. But it was very much worth a second watch, and if you haven’t seen it absolutely do so. It’s well worth the $3 and change. Then consider the aftermath. Gore: 6/10. Nudity: None. Prime rental
Deathgasm (2015): “Hail Satin” Horror comedies face the same challenge as regular comedies: keeping the laughs going after the first 15 minutes, when the dramatic plot kicks in. Tucker and Dale did this very well; Zombeavers not so much. Deathgasm, fortunately, is a lot closer to T&D, finding ways great and small to inject humor in and around the more serious scenes. And damn, what lines — I had to pause more than a few times to laugh my arse off. As a metalhead in my youth, I appreciated a lot of jokes more than I might have otherwise, but anyone with a stomach for gore and naughtiness will enjoy this one. Gore: 8/10, but it’s a funny 8/10. Nudity: Brief. Tubi
My Heart Can’t Beat Unless You Tell it To (2021): “We shouldn’t be doing the things that we’re doing.” Two siblings care for the third, who is sickly and has special nutritional requirements one might term the “Lugosi Diet.” Not heroin — the red stuff. This is only peripherally a vampire movie. It’s much more a psychological drama about caregiver fatigue, the struggle of the able to aid the disabled and how even a family full of love can collapse under the weight of their burdens. There’s no backstory given, no mythos to justify the situation, just a family struggling to do what they have to do to keep their youngest member alive. It’s good, with the leads providing a bleak window into their day-to-day existences, though a little humor would have been nice. It’s an existential, thought-provoking vignette that may linger with you. Gore: 3/10, bloodletting. Nudity: Just a man and his underwear. Screambox, which I apparently still have.
The Lake (2022): “Compose yourself. Don’t get out of the car.” I wanted a big monster flick, and this Thai production says it has one. I just hope I don’t have to wait forever for it to sho—ah, 3 minutes in and there it is. No build up at all. Huh. A fan of Bong Joon-Ho’s The Host (2006) apparently got hold of a decent budget and put together a “Thaiju” film of their own, and it’s…okay. While the editing is all over the place, it does keep the story moving, and the creatures are interesting to look at and well rendered. There are speed bump human dramas, but they don’t account for much; characters are uni-dimensional, and the film unfortunately lacks much in the way of a binding narrative. If you’re in the mood for a big beast exercise in special effects, you could do worse. Just don’t expect much else. Gore: 4/10. Nudity: None. Prime.
Moloch (2022): “You science boys, you’re uninformed.” This Dutch folk horror tells — at a modest pace — the story of Bietrik and her family, who have suffered substantial losses over the generations. Events lead her to believe that her family may be cursed, haunted by some local entity. All in all, it’s a decent movie, wrapped around its own eerie mythology and leading to a striking conclusion. There’s a scene in a field that should have been left on the cutting room floor, and the second half lacks the sense of urgency and discovery that can really carry a movie, but I’d still recommend it for the atmosphere and some fine, creepy moments. Not bad for a writedirector’s first full length feature.
Gore: 3/10. Nudity: None. Trivia: While Moloch has often been thought of as a deity to whom children were sacrificed, more recent research suggests it was instead a type of sacrifice, one that involved children and was performed for various gods in the Levant, including the god of the Hebrews. Shudder
Lovely, Dark, and Deep (2023): “You’ve taken from us.” Georgina Campbell (Barbarian) is a forest ranger taking her first 90-day assignment in the deepest part of the woods in her fictional park. We see her settle in, go on multi-day walkabouts, and wrestle with a loss in her past. It’s a slow, scenic build to the weirdness, but it snowballs quickly. There’s a “walking simulator” aspect that follows which may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but Campbell kept me invested with her performance. While the film follows some tropes (things there one moment and gone the next, for example), it turns others on its head. While “in the forest” stories can go very different ways (as The Ritual, Gaia,and In the Earth demonstrate), I finished LD&D thinking of it as a folk horror. I’m curious if you agree. Gore: 5/10 for some red moments. Nudity: None. Trivia: The title comes from a Robert Frost poem you may have encountered in school. Tubi
What fine or forgettable flicks have been on your list this week?

Foreshadowing and Clues:
1. The world is flooding, which has been hinted at since Water 7 arc, saying Aqua Laguna reaches higher every year. It has been flooding since forever. Wano had an entire kingdom submerged on the sea floor. The world is flooding now. The destruction of Lulusia raised the sea level by 1 meter. Who had been doing it? Imu. He explicitly stated that he/she wanted more Mother Flame (IRL counterpart: Nuclear Power), which was used to destroy Lulusia. This means that he wants to do it again. This also means that the world was much lower than it is now.
2. Since it has always been known that the world WILL flood since Joy Boy’s time, as the Ark, Noah, was entrusted to Fishmen of all people. Fishmen, who NEVER need any freaking ship. So if not for them to use, then for whom? For us. For all other races. And what is an Ark for if it’s not to rescue people? And as it had always been known Imu had been nuking places, Fishmen built Fishmen Island RIGHT UNDER Mary Geoise for exactly that reason. IT CANNOT BE NUKED FROM ABOVE. The Ancient Weapon Poseidon was used to control Sea Kings, and they had their own prophecy that they would carry Noah into the sun. It was all there.
3. Sanji’s dream of finding the All Blue seem like the least possible dream of the crew members. The ocean is clearly divided into four, or at least two that are totally disconnected by landmass. It is impossible to find a place that freely contains all ingredients from all four, all living sea creatures from every ocean, as that means all fishes have to at least cross the Red Line freely to make that one spot All Blue.
4. Oda confirmed in an interview with Momoko Sakura that the One Piece is not something abstract, but a physical reward.
5. Roger DID NOT take the One Piece with him. He FOUND the One Piece and discovered the truth of the world at Laugh Tale and laughed. He was there too soon. He could not use the truth or what he found. In ANY versions of his execution, he NEVER once said that he BURIED it there. At best, in any versions of his execution, he LEFT it there. Official Funimation version: he LEFT EVERYTHING THE WORLD HAD TO OFFER THERE. Could it be because the One Piece could not be taken anywhere? Could it because it was too big?
6. Joy Boy was the first pirate, as confirmed by Vegapunk (IRL counterpart: Einstein). Joy Boy, the first man who took to the sea and sailed for freedom. But if the world had always been dotted with islands, then that's impossible. If the world had always been dotted with islands, it means that people sailed and rode boat/ships like cars. Eventually, a number of them would’ve realized independently at the same time that if you sailed out and had no connection with anyone, you would answer to no one, AKA outlaw/pirate. It was just not possible for multiple of them not to realize that at once. It was therefore impossible to pinpoint anyone as the FIRST pirate. But Joy Boy WAS the first, and we know for sure. That means that sailing far out at sea was a big deal, and that he was the first means sailing out was SIMPLY NOT DONE BEFORE. But how was that possible? You sail out to go somewhere inaccessible by land. If you had never set sail before, does it mean that there had been NO OTHER LAND?
7. The castle where the Gorosei and Imu resides is called “Pangaea Castle.” In our world, it is the name of the continent that included all the landmass in the world at the beginning of Triassic. Its meaning? “Spanning the entire earth.”
8. Red Line is waaay too artificial to be natural. Grand Line has its real life equivalent: the equator, the hottest region where the ocean receives the most sun and have violent weather. Calm Belts? Horse Lattitudes, the region with almost no wind. But Red Line? A landmass that perfectly follows one straight longitude, stretching north to south and perfectly circling back around the world in one perfect loop? Doesn’t it sound too artificial? Reverse Mountain where water flows up? Really? What if it was constructed? What if it was erected by someone?
9. Imu, the Five Elders, and the Celestial Dragons have their own land, the Mary Geoise, placed atop of the world, and their method of destruction is to raise the sea level. This means they have always been certain they would escape somehow. I suspect they could create landmass. If they could create landmass and chose to fill up the ocean at the deepest areas, they would definitely displace a lot of water. We can flood our own world by melting the polar ice caps, meaning we add about continent-sized ice into the ocean. If they created the Red Line, which is a continent, it was bound to do the same to their world. That was most likely the cause of the first Flood that raised the sea level initially. The only suspect who could do this is Imu. The Gorosei called him the Creator of the World. If he was defeated, the Red Line itself might disappear. As foreshadowed by the examples of Poppy and Doflamingo’s powers.
10. One Piece has always been the story about friendship, forgiveness, unity, and co-existence. In pretty much every arc, Luffy finds oppressed people, fights the oppressor, but not before the oppressed unite, forgive each other, and put aside their differences, and fight for a common cause: against their oppressor. The most important lesson of all is this: forgive the wrongs; forget the differences; unite. Fishman Island arc, Otohime pointed out the path towards the sun is to stop hating human. The Sun Pirates’ ideal is to forgive humans and liberate the oppressed. If the world is flooding now, who is the least impacted people? The Fishmen. Who has the Ancient Weapon with the means to move the ark? The Fishmen. Who has the means to rescue everyone? The Fishmen. Everything in set up for them to do this. What other best way to make human change their mind about their prejudices against Fishmen? This. Their time has come now to be the ones with power. Everything is in place for them to extend an olive branch.
11. So we’ve pretty much concluded that the world will flood and the Fishmen will rescue everyone with the ark, this leads me to be very certain of what the One Piece is. If the entire world is going to flood, what is the most valuable treasure in the world right now?
12. And as the goal is to lower the sea level and bring back up the lands, what if there’s a piece of land down there where people can unite and live freely as one people, the landmass that spans the entire world, one single piece of land, what should that one piece of land be called?
13. If there’s only one piece of land in the world, does that mean there’s only one single ocean in the world also? What should that only one ocean in the world be called? Whose dreams are coming true?

Hi, I know this is mostly for couple relationships. But I don't know where else to post this. I can't post in aith as mostly foreigners are there
I'm 29M. I have some trouble in my family would be a major understatement. The situation is so worse that I can't explain to anyone in my real life. Situation became so dire, I left my house and staying away and my parents calling me failure and abandoner. Its a toxic household. My brother hits my parents and I end up leaving the house while my parents defend him.
3 weeks back my brother hit my father, my father started crying profusely and started to scream and saying he'll call police. I asked my brother to leave. He does but comes back and starts acting lunatically, saying he's ready to go to Jail and loose his job but he'll expose my father for what he is. They had an argument coz he's not marrying and he has a girlfriend from work living not less 200 m away in a separate society. Which has come to our house and met my parents as well. My father had a agreement with him to get married by March this year. But such a manipulator and liar he is that was another one of his delaying tactics. Or maybe he said one two many lies and this caught up to him. When my father out of anger said to him to leave the house, he shamelessly said he won't he also contributed to it. The reason behind his fearlessness was my mother as she supported it. She actually supported him hitting him and later tried to justified by saying it was a minor hit and it didn't break his bone or something.
My brother has a history, he broke my mother's hand when I was in school and he was in college first year. He wanted to stay in hostel and my parents didn't let him. I come back from tuition and witness that. Looking back at it, this fueled his shamelessness and fearlessness as all the relatives knew this and it didn't bother him later on.
My family quite disfunctional since very beginning. We have lived in major cities for most part, my father was working in government service and got transferred a lot. My elder brother (4 years elder) and I work both in metro city and lived with my family here. Father retired last year. Mother a housewife.
Now here's the issue part. My father has been a wifebeater and sole earner. Him and my mother had issues since beginning. And they generally didn't have any understanding is what I saw. Trust was less as well. Mother used to bitch about him which my elder brother took quite well and to certain extent me too, but I started to see through it few times and ramblings of a frustrated woman as my father used to like being reveled by relatives so she feared him being more involved there.
One other side of this also the relationship of my mother and elder brother, they both grew some sort of symbiotic relationship where they each were masking each other's shortcomings by excuses and became each other's negative support system.
So that was in past then as we grew up our father also matured a bit in past few years but not a lot.
Now, so far it seems like every other family's trouble. Here's the main issue, I started observing certain things since past few years which made me really irked and start to distrust my family.
I don't trust my elder brother since few years 6-7 to be precise. And he has a history of beating me as well. Something in him makes me tick. Like he's trying to treat us like he treats outsiders, for profit of his own. I don't consider him my elder brother either. While my parents always try to shame me by saying I hit him as he is my elder brother, while they themselves flaunt society's rules as they like.
Last few years, I saw some issues with myself and loneliness, one time parents asked me and my brother to come to my father's posted place as he was getting retired and help shift. When I reached I'm told they have planned(my brother and them) a trip and invited me. I hadn't taken any leaves and this was extreme short notice so I couldn't get leaves. They just thought it would be very easy for me to get it. Like I was really pissed. I stayed there alone for 1 week while taking care of their stuff.
When they came back I broke down, and cried and told about my struggles with depression, my mother at that time cried. I suggested them to start searching for a bride for me. Before all this, some stuff was already happening with regards to my brother's marriage since that past year and I wasn't on speaking terms with my brother. But I saw them berating him by saying if he doesn't get married, it will be issue for me. So I tried to calm them separately by telling them to start searching for me if he's not cooperating. Mind you I was settled financially and of age, only thing stopping them was my brother was unmarried then. I thought I had managed to make a breakthrough, and could get some support with my issues but no.
My brother had a girlfriend whom I had met and had visited my house met my parents. She ditched him for reasons only he knows and from then onwards I only saw his hippocrit facade like the way he manipulated lied to my parents about meeting with prospects and finding excuses to not get married. He wasn't interested, just kept delaying and this kept frustrating my parents. He also blamed his failed relationship on my father as he said something angrily along the lines of him hitting his girlfriend when he was angry as he witnessed his father do that all his life.
This caused fights too, sometime I got involved as well. Like he threw food plate at my mother and I intervened. I had to say some harsh stuff and fight ensued. Physical too. This has been an recurring phenomenon.
My parents are no saint either. My father last year beat my mother at age of 60 no less. Like I said very disfunctional family.
After my heart to heart with my parents, they completely forgot about it. They say they didn't but they did. They never mentioned one girl, didn't even make JS/Shaadi profile for me. Look the issue is not that marriage was biggest priority for me. But that it wasn't even a priority for them when I specifically said about it.
Now another tragedy happened. I got laid off. I didn't utter a word. Then in between 6 months later from that talk they stuck me with the most shameless question ever asked by them. They tell me they had it enough with my brother's bullshit and wanted to search for me. I was almost about to lose it. But at that point I was at very low coz of my job situation and was seriously doubting my luck. Still am. Been doubting since Covid. I made up some excuse to make them lose interest in it.
Then some months later in another fight I brought it up and gave them an earful.
During all this I tried leaving my house twice for good. One time I actually rented a place. One time I gave an ultimatum that he leaves or I leave but my parents somehow convinced me to stay. Toxicity was through the roof. Parents fighting often, quite on the edge of physicality, my mother doesn't hold bapck a bit if we are around. My father is I feel is semi bipolar always on ego trip. And my brother a lying manipulator angling for his gains.
This time I couldn't hold back and decided to leavd I won't come back at all. I offered to take my father too. I declared my mother's case hopeless as the way she behaved after my brother hit my father and proudly berated him shamelessly like she felt someone took revenge of all those years of beatings and shame she got. While I held my head in shame by looking at what was unfolding. I couldn't hold back and abused them for their behavior. These shameless people started coming at me.
I was irked at the fact that my brother had his girlfriend living in the neighborhood and she used to come and visit and my folks weren't least bit bothered as they thought these guys were getting married. When in fact my folks had not even talked with her parents. Only with her elder sister who was doing a love marriage inter caste after threatening to take poison. So my mother was like believe in love an all that crap and talk about social and family values too. I am not conservative I met his first girlfriend before anyone else in family. But this was too much, if you are such big into love and family values and keeping appearance in society then marry and end it. Apparently the girl wanted to marry only after elder sister marries, so society rules exist for her but not for my family.
All this combined I stated my discomfort shared an ultimatum that he should leave and stay separately till his matter is resolved. My mother and brother came at me. They called me failure and said I was jealous of him cause of my failures to secure a person in my life. So I realised my mother was with him
I know this is too much but coz of this I left and this time I thought I was leaving with my father's blessings, but I was wrong that was just momentary coz of his anger after getting beaten by my brother.
I have been living away now for few weeks just few km away. So that I can go back if required but now the tune of my parents have changed completely. They are calling me deserter coz I left house. How can I live in that toxic family household ? And a lot of other things, as I can't help but scream at their shamelessness.
I wish old age days come back coz then you could call few relatives to sort things out. Or atleast discuss who's wrong, here they justify their doings as everyone is doing it in society, everyone fights, everyone's a little shameless so its fine. While I can't just become ostrich and deal with things when it strictly affects me. My brother's actions deeply affected me. I was depressed and had to deal with it alone, coz my parents were too busy with his bullshit and then I saw their real self. Lots of stuff I haven't mentioned here. Like how my own father defended him getting beaten as his own fruits of his deeds to defend my brother. That broke the straw for me and made me realise he was the favorite son for both of them. No amount of his shameful deeds can change it. And they will bend backwards to justify it.
Worst part is which I can't shake off, I called them selfish, shameless, mental and stupid fools who got cheated by their own son. They are equating it with my brother's beatings. Saying I'm equally as deplorable as him, as its equal as beating. In which world ?
Am I the asshole ? Should I continue on my path. Discussions and talks with my parents result in screamings as I need a neutral party as they changed the rules of civil society to fit their narrative as society has changed so its fine as everyone does it. I told them if they can find even one person their age group who thinks I'm wrong I'll come back and apologise. They told me they have no interest in getting laughed at and this happens everywhere. And I am equally guilty for abusing them. I can't take it any more. Is staying in family means becoming like then ? Is that the rule ?
My family is saying to come back and stay there and my brother will leave after getting married, saying I'm equally guilty in this as I also said harsh stuff. How is happening in this shitty world ? I send money every month and will continue to do so. Just can't live at that sham place. I have lost complete trust in society if these are my parents.
Edit: today has been extremely shitty day. I thought they would have realised by now their shame and hippocrissy. Apparently the reason my brother is such a good manipulator and liar is coz he knows my parent's weakness, they want the appearance of great family and will go to great lengths to mask it. Hence me saying stuff about my brother and they try to bring me down to his level so I'll stop making noise about it.
TLDR: Left toxic family where brother hits father. Has history of hitting me and mother too. Parents fight too physically and defend him and his actions. And asking me to stay in that environment.

Bear with me as I describe what amounts to an almost religious experience after finishing the game for the first time. SPOILERS and nigh-rambling. But I just have to share. I hope you'll stay a while a listen. :)
I tried playing Cyberpunk a couple months ago. Corpo Male, strong roleplaying. When the Johnny Silverhand stuff started, I got really frustrated and quit. I didn't like how the game saw fit to ramrod me into this extremely narrow story when I thought the experience was going to be more open than that. I wanted to play a character who tried to rise to the top of Night City's corporate world through double-dealing and backstabbery...and now all the sudden my character is dying and has this voice in his head.
I was not going to be able to tell the story I wanted to tell.
It was that ludonarrative dissonance thing, like in the Witcher 3, I always struggled to justify doing too many side missions, given that Geralt (as I was playing him) was very concerned about finding Ciri, so there just didn't seem to be time to get embroiled in all these other adventures. So I gave up on 2077. Wrote it off.
But then I saw this randomly come across my YouTube feed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0gR_C0Pd1k&ab_channel=JekavacTV
Dude. I don't care how linear your story is...that's incredible. And dark.
I've been on hard times lately. While I was never serious about unaliving myself, it was a thought that bounced around in my head here and there at my lowest moments...and this clip just...it hit me. I always believed that self-deletion was deeply wrong, if only because of the harm it did to others who loved you. Whatever was on the table, that solution could never be entertained seriously. I just couldn't do it to my loved ones.
But I've also been struggling with who I am, who I'm supposed to be, what my purpose is. LOL big club I know. And just like in the clip...there's a certain, devious logic to taking one's life. Just remove yourself from the equation, and the problems go away right? You can end your pain, and maybe even save lives, or at least spare others from the pain of your existence.
Right?
That video convinced me to give 2077 another try. If an ending could be that hardcore and meaningful...there must be something worthwhile in this game. So I rolled a Nomad Male, and began my love affair with this game. I didn't try to concoct a character so much as just try to play V as myself. I really related to his leaving the Bakkers, and going it alone. Also I moved around a lot as a kid, and my Dad was a hippie biker in his heyday, and a mechanic. So it felt true to form.
And then when you meet Jackie...I mean c'mon, who's more loveable than Jackie?
I really started to get into the game then. And it finally started to dawn on me what the game's story is trying to communicate.
I figured 2077 would devolve into a lot of cynicism, and exploit the violence and sex for cheap thrills. Or maybe it would lean on shock value and become doomeblackpill fodder. But CDPR ain't no slouches. Night City is an exaggerated snapshot of where we are now. And V's predicament is one many of us are facing: we want to make our mark on the world, but is it worth it to step on everyone along the way? Even if we're trying not to die? Or worse, just be erased. Many of us struggle with a voice in our head telling us we're fuckups. We're pussies. We're slaves. We're not worth the trouble.
At first I took Silverhand for an antagonist, essentially. A nasty SOB I had to keep at bay, given that my V was a mostly good guy who just wanted a family again. Especially after Jackie died...man his wake, and helping Misty sort through his things? That got to me.
And of course there's that lingering fear that, no matter how much Silverhand may begin to charm you or appear like he's on your side - he's going to take over. V is actually warned that eventually, Silverhand will just make a play to do just that.
So I was careful with him, but I wanted to know more, because he was such an intriguing character, and its easily one of Reeves' best performances. Period. So I invested in his conversations and eventually his sidequests. I also did what I could to help others in Night City who helped me. I was dying, so...it felt like a good time to be generous. Even if sometimes I had to off a bunch of gangoons with a shotgun. XD
Then as the story developed, I began to see that Silverhand wasn't quite the legend everyone thought. He was a man who had sorely, sorely screwed his life up - as well as the lives of many others. He even seemed to regret it.
I even told Silverhand I'd take a bullet for him, after receiving his dog tags. I never expected that kind of a scene between those two.
It became clear that Silverhand was a ghost, stuck between life and death, looking for absolution, trying to do something right for once. And V could help. So I did. We found Alt Cunningham. We took Rogue on a date. We got Samurai together for one last gig. We tried to track Adam Smasher down. I was putting trust in Johnny, and it was clear that he wasn't really wanting to kill V after all. But he had no choice.
I also met Panam, fell in love, and became a de-facto Aldecaldo. Was never sure about Saul, but Mitch and the others were just salt of the earth man. Great little storyline.
I helped Judy, all the way until she finally left Night City, and was glad of it. I do wish she was romanceable by dudes, but...she was still just too precious, I couldn't turn a blind eye to her problems, or her kindness. Her little story with the underwater town was so moving and unique...I just wanted to give that girl a hug man. What a sweetheart.
Then it all came to a head. V is on his last leg. That fateful scene where you make your big choice. Silverhand pushing me to just take the orange pill and let him do his thing, since he's almost in control anyway. Or I could testify against Yorinobu, and put my trust in Arasaka. OR, I could call on my new family in Panam and the Aldecaldos, but put them at risk.
This entire game I felt like every choice was vital. I felt like one slip up and I could mess up my chances of living, or even worse, do wrong by the people I cared about, just like Jackie. But I stuck to my guns, helped who I could...
Which is why I chose to lean on the Aldecaldos for help. Yes, I was putting them at risk. But even though I was beginning to trust Johnny, this wasn't his fight anymore. Much as Johnny might have a shot, I couldn't just give up now. And I certainly wasn't going to trust anyone at Arasaka.
The raid on Arasaka HQ with the clan was rough. Felt like all my choices had led here, and I worried that CDPR was going to punish me for my past choices, given that Night City takes no prisoners and few get out alive. I also knew that Adam Smasher was bound to appear. And having seen Edgerunners...I knew that wasn't going to be pretty. I saw how Johnny's story ended, for example.
There were rumblings about Saul and Panam still being at odds, and I figured the game was priming me for a betrayal or a horrific upset somehow. But I forged ahead anyway, because I was with my family. I didn't want power. I didn't even want to be a legend. I just wanted to live.
I watched Adam Smasher kill Saul horrifically, heard Panam scream in horror...and I zeroed that MFer. XD
Protip: even on Hard Diff, if you have the right perks and implants, you can be virtually unkillable. Only died once. Not sure if that's impressive, but it felt impressive. XD
My V wasn't sophisticated, but he was tough as nails and determined. I wasn't about to let everyone's sacrifice be in vain. Not Saul's. Not Jackie's. Not Goro's. Not Johnny's.
I informed Smasher of Johnny's resurrection just before blowing his brains out with Johnny's own signature gun. Even though Johnny was subdued by the bluepill, it felt like my last gift to him...even as I was moments from death.
Then the moment of truth...Mikoshi. I asked Panam for parting advice. She said "Just be yourself." Normally I'd roll my eyes at that advice but, something about it felt prophetic.
The final choice. Alt had used Soulkiller on me, in order to save me, but now it seemed I wasn't going to get my happy ending. I could go with her beyond the Blackwall, and finally let Johnny have my body - or I could return, but only have about six months, since the Relic had just caused too much damage.
It wasn't that hard of a choice. Leave everything and everyone I had grown to love behind for some bizarre virtual afterlife? Or let Johnny finally rest, and let V return to the world, Panam and the Aldecaldos? I chose life. As Johnny laid me down in the 'well', gently, he said "Goodbye V." And it felt like two friends parting ways. It felt like he'd made a change, and I helped him get there.
And boy was I rewarded. Even though I didn't have long, I had a chance to start again, and maybe even find another way to live. I had Panam, I had the Caldos, and I could finally leave Night City in the dust. "I have everything I need", V said.
This game absolutely SLAPS with hard choices. Over and over and over, you're reminded about how unfair the world is. But if you keep your head on, and ignore the power plays, stay true to your friends, and don't take no shit - you can get out alive. And not just you. The ones you love can too.
Of course, many of you already know all of this. So why did I bother posting?
All my life I've felt like maybe I've been too nice, or too careful, or too unwilling to take life by the balls. But one thing I've always been good at is helping people in need when I can, and always being available to my friends. But for some reason I always looked down on myself for it. I never felt like I was worth anything. I never felt like I was making a difference in the world. There were so many hard choices, and I felt like I never made the right ones. And that I'd just die one day, and be forgotten. Never having made my mark. Just like so many in Night City...
Some days I'd think "Maybe it'd just be better if I was never born." Because I was such a fuckup. A loser. A nobody.
But the person who helps people, who's there for others even when its inconvenient? That's the kind of person who can make a REAL difference. Fuck money. Fuck politics. Fuck fame. None of its worth a damn if you aren't doing right by others.
And that really came through in the end credits. I'm not ashamed to say I was in tears as all these people from my playthrough reminded me how much I meant to them. How much they cared, and that I mattered. All these people had happy endings because of me. I never let them down, not even when the grim reaper himself was breathing down my neck.
It was like all my IRL friends and family were speaking to me in those moments. And finally, FINALLY, I could see myself as they saw me: a man who cared and was trying to be there for them. A man that made a difference in their lives.
Yeah I didn't save the world, per se. But, really, that's how we save the world for real, lame as it may sound. The sheer contrast between the ending I had earned by just trying to do right by all the people in V's life, and that horrific ending I posted earlier was...stark. If you give up, then everyone suffers, not just you.
This game saw me, and reminded me who I was. It rewarded me for it, and I'll never forget it. For all its flaws, all its quirks and failings, I adored this game and all the effort that went into it. It's clear CDPR were trying to say something with this work of art, and boy was the message received on my end.
I can safely say I'm less likely to despair now because of it. I feel more alive because of it. I feel more prepared for the real world because of it. And I wanted to share my experience, if only to remind one person that:
We can all make a difference. Live for others, not yourself. It pays off. Even if it doesn't seem like it at the time. It's the only legacy worth leaving in this fallen world.

We both tattoo and met 9 months ago at the tattoo shop I worked at, she was an apprentice and we just clicked and started talking. In the beginning looking back I think we both love bombed eachother but at the time I didn’t see it that way I just saw it as love at first sight and I was so into her and her I. But I recall her telling me I told her I love you sooner than normal, I want to prefise this as to say I may also have some undiagnosed issues. I have an identical twin who has bipolar I dnt know the specifics but he could be very irrational and angry most of the time. But I’ve never been that way. I’m typically passive and try my best to avoid conflict, a people pleaser. But back to the story we fell in love and in the beginning our age gap was an issue for her but over time that became a non issue. I became part of her family and she became part of mine. But at least once a month she would break up with me for various reasons one main reason being she was confused about her sexuality, we are both bi, she would always come back saying she loved me and I’m just confused and we would have the most amazing sex and special moments. When we met she had a male friend that she told me was only a friend but after 4 months randomly confessed he wasn’t just a friend, he was an ex she met though a dating app. Which really shocked me because they talked everyday which isn’t a problem and I wouldn’t typically care but the fact she chose to lie for so long made me uncomfortable. Which she insisted on continuing to talk to after I expressed that it made me uncomfortable. She also had a mutual friend lie to me so they could spend time together without my knowledge saying that she did this because she thought I would be mad considering she’s bi and our mutual friend is lesbian. And again I was shocked that she did this. I found this out by looking in her phone which I’m not proud of but if I didn’t this information would have never been known. after this she treated me with so much love for a small period of time and I always wondered if it was only an attempt to make up for the things she’d did as it soon stopped and we went back to the ways things were. Her withholding affection silent treatments and lack of communication. But she wanted to regain my trust and so I chose to forgive her and build back the trust. Fast forward to now she would txt me I love u every morning and we had plans for the future and all the things in a relationship and suddenly and randomly again she messaged saying I can’t do this I’m confused and I no longer have feelings for you. Obviously I was confused and deeply hurt, I regrettably begged her to work on this with me because she has done this in the past and hasn’t been taking her medication throughout our relationship and since I’ve met her I’ve learned so much about her condition. She has quiet bpd and disorganized attachment. And I’m anxiously attached so in my mind I thought could this be a repeat of her past behaviors and with time this may pass. She agreed but said she only would do it to make me happy and that because her family loved me it made sense but deep down I knew and she vocalized that she didn’t want to and that she was putting on a mask to satisfy me. Which hurts because I want her to be happy but I also wanted her to want to fix this like I did. The plan was to take things slow so I invited her over for dinner and movies and told her I would refrain from serious talk but the problem is with her I was never able to talk about my feelings. Anything serious or relationship related and she would shut down and it stifled any communication. we had a few drinks and regrettably I brought up my frustrations and how it wasn’t just the two of it was us and her bpd. Like usual she shut down and I tried to be present while she explained her feelings. The mistake I made was that while she was crying I was smirking this is what she said and that wasn’t my intention to make her feel crazy but she said my facial expressions made her feel that way .so she left and has blocked me on everything. I kind of vommitted all my backed up feelings on her because I repressed it for so long and I feel bad, I didn’t want to hurt her but I never felt safe telling her how I felt out of fear of her reaction but since it may very well be the end I wanted to at least tell my truth. I loved her so much and regret my inability to hold to what I said and not bring up serous talk if u will but I also feel like it’s not fair to me that I can’t express my self to my partner. Through our relationship she said some of the meanest things anyone has ever to me that anyone. I guess this is kind of a rant and idk what opinions you may have because I don’t think she will ever speak to me again but the saddest part is I truly loved her and her family and would have done anything for her and I tried every day to be there for her and learn about her condition so that I could be the best partner possible . I’m scared about my future and the pain I will face in the coming months, I built my life around her. But I think deep down I knew this wouldn’t work I just so badly wanted it to. I love u Andrea always and forever. I’ll never know how much of our relationship was steered by her bpd but I know that she has an amazingly loving and kind person and just has her own set of problems. I want to say that I know I have issues to and in no way want to be negative towards her or undermined my issue I just can only write so much in this post. I’ve never felt a pain like this and I’ve had other serious relationships. Sry for the rant I just need to vent my feelings and I just miss her already and I dnt see a point in anything anymore but I’m to weak to unalive myself.

We have a lot of guys on the roster that carried over from Rivera where it's somewhat unclear if they're actually shitty players or if they just looked like that due to the circumstances they were surrounded by. I was wondering about some of them earlier:
Jamin Davis: We all know he was a reach, and we've been upset since he was drafted because there were better options and Ron Rivera is a moron. He has great physical traits though - he's huge for a LB and very fast/athletic. The question was always whether or not he could get properly coached up and "get it", which we assumed was happening because fucking Ron Rivera and Jack Del Rio were linebackers, and Ron coached one of the best linebackers in recent memory down in Carolina. His first two seasons were rough, but the entire defense was dogshit last season and Jamin looked actually pretty decent in a lot of situations. He was smarter in coverage, smarter in run support, and actually got to showcase his athleticism on a handful of occasions. He's going to be playing next to Luvu who is the opposite of him - a guy without major physical gifts who managed to grind his way to being a good NFL starter with high motor plays and intelligent positioning, and a future hall of famer in Bobby Wagner. We didn't pick up his rookie contract options, and that was intentional to motivate him to show this new staff something. I think that he has a chance to actually be used as a disruptive player and get him into the backfield where he belongs, I think he will have a surprisingly good season this year.
Forbes: He's been sort of talked to death. Does he even have the size necessary to play on the outside at this level? Does he have the skill? Can we un-do whatever the fuck that high school DB coach "taught" him last season and put him into positions where he can succeed, preferably where he can ball hawk and not where he's matched up with a 230 pound physical monster of a WR who kicks his ass all over the field? I'm not so sure on this guy. I don't think there's really a place for him at this level or with what I expect our defensive staff to want to do in the secondary. He's not nearly good enough of a tackler to use him as a FS and let him ball hawk, he's not big enough to play man coverage. If I had to guess, I'd say he's probably going to have a rough year and be a rotational guy, but I'd be ecstatic to be proven wrong about that. Dan Quinn's defenses have always screamed "physical" in the secondary, and this guy is the opposite of that. I don't know if they're expecting to use him as the 2nd CB and put him in those outside situations opposite St-Juste, but I don't really envision that going particularly well if they do. I don't know who you go with if it's obvious in camp that he's not panning out. Sainristil is a tad on the small side to put on an island outside (though I think he'd handle it better than Forbes at least). Maybe they see Michael Davis doing that and will only use Forbes and Sainristil inside? I have no idea.
St-Juste: I think this guy could have a better upswing than anyone else in the secondary because of his size and the way he plays. He's the most physical corner we carried over, and I expect to see him put in a lot of situations close to the LOS in man coverage, which is how a guy like him should be used. I don't know if he can actually lock a #1 WR down consistently, but I think with his traits he has the potential to have a much better season than we've seen out of him in the previous 3.
Quan Martin: I expect him to really take a step at safety. I really liked what I saw out of him, but I also hated the idea of taking a guy who was a very solid college safety and trying to turn him into a CB. I see him as the deep cover safety who roams and supports over the top vs. Chinn who is clearly here to get in the box and hit. I see him in the Kam Chancellor role vs. Chinn's Earl Thomas mostly because he has a good nose for the ball. I think he has a chance to surprise a lot of people.
Jahan Dotson: He's an odd case. His rookie season where he caught 35 passes for 523 yards and 7 TDs was seen as excellent, which it should have been. He really ran crisp routes and looked awesome in space. We all understood that he was doing especially well considering he was catching balls from Carson Wentz and Taylor Heinicke. Then this past season he caught 49 for 518 and 4 TDs and it's seen as a catastrophe outside the fanbase. I think that most of us believe that something weird went on with him and Howell and Bieniemy. His production was pretty much the same, in fact, contrary to popular opinion that Sam Howell didn't look for him, or Bieniemy neglected to design plays for him, in 2022 we threw the ball 531 times, and he was targeted 61 of those times (11.4% of all passing coming his way). In 2023, we threw the ball 601 times, and he was targeted 83 of them (13.8% of all passing). His receptions went up, his yardage and TDs went down. Was this because of poor play design? Did Bieniemy send him on routes that just didn't make a lot of sense for the type of receiver he is? Did he have trouble getting open? When he was open, did Sam Howell hold on to the ball or have a hard time finding him? I can't really say. I want to believe that he's going to progress into an 800-900 yard deep threat and or YAC machine, because he looked like he was going to become that guy after his first two seasons. He could just be a single competent quarterback or OC away from a breakout year, or maybe he's just that 500 yards and 4-6 TD kind of guy and that's all he'll ever be. I really have no idea. My wishful thinking and hope says he's going to break out and Kingsbury will utilize him correctly. There isn't a great analogue to Jahan's situation from his time in Arizona.
That's just the stuff off the top of my head, feel free to add, disagree, or fill in some blanks. I know it's all just pointless speculation, but what else are we here for?

We (M28, F28) have a lot in common, and a lot of differences...
We share the same life goals, but I am very goal focused and sacrifice a lot to work hard in my career to earn money to make things happen... She is more of a dreamer, works odd jobs, isn't very financially secure, and generally just goes with the flow.
We work well, and balance each other out. We often discuss ideas and I help her plan how to make things happen, but sometimes I really question the things she says.
During a conversation about the next 12 months (we're just coming to the end of a big trip), I was talking about how I'm planning to work hard and long hours, so that I can afford to take 1 in 3 months off in order to do more creative things whilst also earning a reasonable amount.
She almost immediately made the conversation about her and told me about her dream to do a magic show on America's got talent. She's mentioned this multiple times over the past few years without any development so by now I can't even pretend to encourage her. She's done nothing to work towards it at all, has no stage experience, and (in my 'mean' opinion) has no idea what she'd even do.
I'm all for following your dreams, but this always makes me think of a 5 year old insisting they'll be an astronaut when they grow older.
I know how mean my thoughts are, and I try to keep it in, but she can read my face. I am very supportive of her other ideas, and I would be supportive of this one too if she'd done anything at all in the past 3 years to make this happen.
I guess it just makes me feel like I'm dating the wrong person, I'm not asking her not to do it but I wouldn't mind having an adult conversation about our actual future for once.
Now, let rip about what a dick I am...

I recently finished my first playthrough of this game, and I just wanted to come here to shower this game with praise.
My first run went rather well, there were some things I regret doing, but in general, I managed to pass my democratic reforms, I fixed the recession with a mixed economy, skyrocketed wellfare (wasn't able to reform the education system though), calmed down the unrest in the country, I got the Bluds to like me, I got Rumburg sanctioned by the ATO and avoided war, and did not get couped despite defunding the military, I purged the Old Guard, put in many equality reforms, and after all that I managed to get reelected. And I have to say, it was an amazing journey.
When playing this game, I felt genuine pain every time I had to make concessions, there were many choices were I had to thoroughly think about the consequences of each of my actions, weighed the pros and cons, and actually had to think about them for a while. I don't think any game before has made me think so much about the choices I was making.
This game is so well written that I genuinly feel patriotic towards Sordland to such an extent that at first I wanted my second run to be a sort of anarchist run where I tried to destroy the country, but I had to stop partway through it, because it pained me too much to now destroy the country that I had worked so hard for a couple of hours before it. This alone speaks volumes to how this game manages to immerse you into it.
Another signal of how well it is written, that near the end, I was genuinenly stressed out during the second election, but when I then finally saw the message that I had been elected to a second term, I physically celebrated, throwing my arms up and punching the air in joy, almost even yelling at 2 am, because I was just so happy that I got reelected. This a reaction that no game so far has been close to getting out of me, and trust me, I've played a lot of good games. But the moment I saw the message that I had gotten reelected, it washed away all the stress I had before, about maybe not being good enough, or whether my reforms were too drastic, and it felt great.
Then there's also the characters, and I have to say, each and every one of them is written to near perfection. Each character was written so well and with so much personality, it felt great. Despite there being a few people who were against me, there was almost no character I couldn't at the very least respect. For example, despite the fact that my whole presidency was in some sort of way dedicated to changing everything Soll had done, I could still see logic in a lot of his choices, and see why he was such a beloved person. With Kesaro Kibener, despite the fact that he was an extreme racist, I couldn't help but feel respect towards him, because he is written as an amazing politician, the way he speaks, and is able to manipulate people into doing what he wants (for example getting an NFP member to become the new governor of Bergia) is truly commendable.
Next are the charactars that I always enjoyed seeing. First, there is, of course, Serge, I invested everything into Armadine, and didn't take the bribe, so sadly I wasn't able to fund his kids education, but every interaction with his can simply be described as pleasent. Then there's also Iosef, I defunded the military, but in every interaction with him, it was clear that he truly cared about Sordland, he wasn't part of any faction, wasn't in anyone's pocket, and didn't really care much about politics, he just wants to see Sordland safe and thriving, and for that I can't help but have to utmost respect for him. And then there is of course Deivid, the true bro, every conversation with him was a true delight, always positive, a true friend, and was respected by everyone. When he announced that he would be resigning at the end of my first term, I actually felt sad to see him go, but I also knew that out of everyone he was the one that deserves his rest the most. All of these things once again show just how good the storytelling of this game is.
Also, I just want to say that some of the jokes and ridiculousness in this game are very good, partly because they are contrasted by the general tone of the game (I was laughing my ass off when I saw the line 'Bless the Raynes down in Anrica', or the suggestion of putting a man on the moon, and some of the very unsubtle names like Karlos Marcia and Alfred Kcirbuk director of 'Resident Karl').
Finally, I also quickly want to say that the worldbuilding of this game is some of the best I have ever seen. All countries, countries, etc. felt unique and interesting. I've spent quite some time just reading through the codex, reading every news article and the reports. The worldbuilding is truly top notch.
TL,DR: This game is written almost perfectly with great story, characters and worldbuilding and truly immerses you into it.
Anyway, now I'm going to do my second run, where I'm going to indulge in a bit of corruption, and eventually go to war with Rumburg. A morgna wes core!

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Reader Advisory: The next couple of parts contain talk about a number of sensitive topics centered around PTSD. I'll have some space here so you don't accidentally see something you didn't want to, but if you read on, just know, it is to a purpose, and yes, it does concern some of my own experiences with PTSD.
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I hate this. This feeling of them all around my mind, but I need to see it. How did Keith become this? I can feel my tribemate, Hoda... I had expected her to choose to be my wife, but I feel it, she has become wife to Keith.... whatever, it is unimportant. I am Trayg, and I have four wives already, and at least six when I am done with this 'game'. He is a strong warrior, and I need to learn his strength. I feel all the other weaklings, though. Bah, weak, but they provide in their own ways to make up for it.
Keith's song begins again, and I feel things shift around me, and I see my first view of this Earth. For such a warrior, I expected a stronghold, but it is anything but. The sun is bright on this house, and I see farms back behind it, lines of trees to protect from the wind between fields, and a warm breeze flows outward. And then, I see him, a child, pedaling furiously on some contraption, a bag clutched in his hand, his knuckles paling from how hard he holds it. A tithe for his father, something to instill pride, though the memory does not remember what is inside. I follow the boy as he comes off of the contraption, letting it fall away as he sprints into the house, and suddenly, a sharp, loud bang fires off... something is wrong.
The sound is incredibly loud, the force of it I can feel even from here, but no birds stir, no rodents scurry, and I follow the boy, and something... feels wrong about what I am seeing, what I am hearing, like something screams already, but is muffled, and I can smell the blood already. The boy proceeds up the stairs, still sprinting with his tithe in hand, and the door to his father's chambers open... and the scent does not change, the whole scene is frozen in that moment, no birds chirping. Something is wrong, this still image. Something.... this scene is not real, and I feel the press of minds, Val calling out for me to halt, but I will not have things hidden from me, and I step forward, and I feel it tear, the whole world ripping apart around me. The scene is changed. The sound... it was not made outside the house, the boy did not enter after. He entered as his father took his own life, and I felt the minds shift, and the words of Keith's song pierce the vision:
You can't kill me if I'm already dead Buried alive by the things that they've said I killed myself, but no one knows
I felt a hand, but not in the shelter, the yurt that we occupied. Azoccu. I watched as he stepped into the room with a screaming child crying out for his father to wake up, and Azoccu knelt beside him, "Oh, child, no one should have seen this. This is not your fault."
He laid his hand on him, and the scene faded. Amongst the others, I could feel the Trils. They were gaining power from this somehow, but there was no time to think. Scenes whipped by, the boy at the funeral, comforting his grandparents, and something was wrong, but not the scene. The adults. They gave empty platitudes, and they spoke about him when they thought he could not hear:
"How do you even get over seeing something like that? He's so young..."
"What happens to him now?"
"First his mom, then his dad? Kid's gonna end up in a rubber room."
The boy's grandparents were broken down, inconsolable in seeing the body of their child, and then I felt Dukaetha enter, hopping along to sit next to the boy. Why is she the only one? Where are his friends? His family? Why is no one showing him how to grieve? Why is he the one comforting?
The scene shifted, and the rabbitfolk faded, and I watched as he stood off by himself, watching his father being lowered into the ground in a brown box, until another grandfather stepped up to him, this one hardier, with thick hair over his lip, calloused hand laying on the boy's shoulder, and knelt down, "Hey there, bit. Tell you what, me and Gramma had us a talk about it, and we'd like you to come live with us. How's that suit you?"
The boy trembled, bitter tears coming out, "Pop-Pop... I... I want dad back."
I watched the boy break, but... this is wrong. I felt a similar feeling from Hoda. Where were the other family? Why was his tribe not coming together for him? Two ceremonies for a corpse, and none of them to take him as ward except for an old man and woman? Where were the tribe's children? Even their shaman seemed more concerned over the dead one. Hoda stepped forward, praying over the boy as was her place as shaman.
The scene fell away, and more scenes came past. The boy grew, his 'Pop-Pop' teaching him to hunt, to farm, to ride, but I felt my anger building. His tribe pulled away from him, pulled back. They said the right words, expressed sorrow at the loss, but they all held back from him, like they might somehow catch his grief like a disease. It kept going, increasing as his grandparents died, one after the other, and steadily I watched as members of our new tribe stepped forward to be with him in those moments.
The rage welled up within me, growing by the moment. Again, and again.... I bellowed out, breaking the connection, and shoved aside those in my way as I stalked from the building, hearing the words of Keith from his stage:
As these judging eyes surround me And silence tearing me apart Only seeing to the surface They refuse to see my heart
I stalked across to one of the empty shelters, taking shelter from the storm raging around, and I screamed. I paced, and I felt the insane rage within my chest. I needed to fight, I needed to let this out, before it could stain my spirit. I ripped the hatchet from my belt, and put everything into hacking into one of the logs that were used for seating. I swung again and again, putting every bit of my anger into the act when I heard the door bang open. Val. She stepped inside, "Are you okay, Trayg?"
I threw the hatchet into what was left of the log, "Fuck your entire species!"
She stepped back as I stepped forward, shocked, "Look, I get it-"
"THEY ABANDONED HIM!"
She shook her head in that negative way the humans used, "No, they-"
I slammed a fist into a pillar, "Don't lie to me! I saw it with my own eyes! His whole tribe left him to rot save for one old man and woman who were too old to be caring for a young boy. Where were his friends?! Where was his shaman to heal his spirit? Where was anyone for him?!"
Val teared up, and stayed mute, "My world may be savages, but we never would have left a child like that."
I pushed past, exiting the shelter to go back, "And I won't abandon him now."
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I've recently halfway come out of an episode and became sort of self aware of my actions, but I realized during this time that I've been trapped in the dreaded cycle of isolation basically my entire life at this point. I have always had an issue with being able to have uncomfortable conversations with people, and when that does happen or someone does hurt me whether it is intentional or not, instead of talking to them about it I will usually resort to something drastic like completely taking myself out of their life either online or even in person too. I have been doing this for so many years at this point even with people that I never wanted to lose simply because I was afraid of uncomfortable conversations or genuinely taking accountability for certain things I said or did when I was hurt and upset at everyone.
This cycle has left me with basically nobody left in my life because I will always go radio silent and never find my way back into their life, usually online where most times I'll usually never be able to find their username again because I delete my accounts to get away. I had never realized until recently how much this has only hurt me and the people who I loved and were close to, especially when I told them that I did truly love them, but I was so afraid of those feelings and closeness that I pushed them out of my life. I cannot express to anyone how much I miss a lot of those people that I pushed away and out of my life, but there isn't a way to go back to them because I can't find them and I can't imagine ever forgiving anyone if I was ever put into a situation like I put other people into when it comes to that.
I have always had an insecurity of being a selfish person my entire life, but I just wish I could go back and explain to them what was going through my mind and my reasoning wasn't entirely selfish and that I was doing it for them because I didn't want them to be miserable or hurt when they were with me anymore. I never realized that nobody was really miserable around me even when I was so scared of it, but the people who abused me were the ones who said that even though I did everything I could to keep them happy and entertained while with me. I just don't know what is real and what is fake anymore at this point, I have been struggling for so long to just forgive myself and forgive the people who hurt me and not let myself lose the new people who care about me right now like all the other times.
I recently got out of a difficult situation with someone who was abusive in some aspects and used me a lot for sexual favors, which led me to spiral when I realized afterwards and let myself feel that pain. I still doubt myself and that situation more than anything because they got me in a position to make me feel bad about myself when they knew what they were doing the entire time and I'm sure of it. I became really close with their friends too because they were all I had at the time, but I ended up confiding in them at that time and when I look back at that now I still feel like I was using them even when I know that it's okay to let people help me and that some people do actually care about me which has been hard to accept. When I look back, I realize now that I was extremely hurt at that time, and I did and said things that were not okay at all.
I tend to hurt people when I'm the most hurt myself, even when I know that isn't an excuse for my actions but an explanation of something that I continue to work on every day. I was hurting the people around me who were hurt as well by what that person had done because of my pain, and I know now that I need to do what is best and apologize for what I did during that time even when that won't make it completely right in any aspect. I caused the people I love to lose that other person who hurt me because I was hurt and that caused them more pain, which is never what I ever wanted for anyone to begin with and I just feel so guilty, but I know I should. Even at this point where I haven't been talking to any of them for a month at this point and I know they want me to come back, but I don't know if I'm strong enough to face that again and own up to how I acted during that time.
I want to apologize more than anything, and I want to be able to break the cycle and absolutely by any means not lose these people close to me again but I don't know what is better for me and everyone at this point and I feel stuck in this neverending cycle. In my mind at the time, I had every right in the world to be upset with these people and do what I did because that one person was abusive to me in some aspects and the other person I'm really close with was having a relationship with them behind my back while I was at the mental hospital. I have tried to find every excuse in the book for why they did what they did, but I still don't know if I'm allowed to be hurt by what they did or if I should just forgive and never forget. I still love them, but it hurts to be around them without talking about what they did constantly and asking them what they were thinking at the time.
Talking about it is tedious too, I have never liked talking about my own feelings because of confrontation, but I know at this point that I might have to if I want to break the cycle and keep these people in my life. I don't know how to go about putting myself back into their life because I fear that they might have become tired of waiting for me to come back, and I don't blame them for that. It has just been so frustrating and difficult, I don't want to lose that person, but at the same time I can't handle confronting them about anything at all in case I'm wrong or they feel like I'm stepping out of line and end up leaving me regardless. I just get so afraid at the same time that when I try to keep people in my life and work on our relationship, that I'm too much for them and I overwhelm them all while boring them at the same time. I will convince myself that they don't like me and they're lying, all while they're asking me over text to come back, and I just don't know how to feel or what to do.