Thank you for this universe!
And many thanks to for being a full co-writer on this project!
Kaeden and Vichee belongs to and I thank them so much for working with us! It was an honor!
Sven belongs to Bjorn the Copper Paladin from Discord. I hope to do more with them in the future, and have tons of fun!
And don’t you worry about that final in the title! We have some news at the end!
[First]- [Prev]- {Next Story!!}

{Is the reason that everything happened to Tarlim in the first place?}

{Only up to the ramps, mostly. Trying to impress upon people the importance of accessibility for those with extenuating circumstances. At least according to the records I have access to.}

{The average person knows as much about his friends as they do about Mike Collins.}
<...Who?>
{Exactly. 20th century human spaceman, was there for their first lunar landing. Didn’t get to put boots on the ground, and nobody remembers his name now.}

{Hell, I didn’t even know about him until I put in a search query of niche historical figures just to give you an example. Yeesh…}

(Program Selected.)
(Resume Selected Media? [Y])
(Playing…)
Archived Closed Circuit Security Video - Establishment: Exterminator’s Office - Dawn Creek Division - Subbasement - Date Recorded (ST): OCT 31, 2136 - Timeframe (ST): 11:42 - 11:45
The parking bay is silent. Vans are parked neatly in their spots which frame the hallway to the armory and fuel storage for the camera. A ding is heard and something moves in the hallway. Five fully suited Venlil and a Zurulian step out of an elevator and run towards a van. The sound of a door slamming open comes from the hall roughly 6 seconds later. A stream of Exterminators pour out into the hall from the stairwell.
Their voices are indecipherable as they speak over each other. A Sulian runs into the armory and reappears with a huge flamer tank on their back. Another Zurulian can be seen with an extinguisher tank, but a Venlil bleats at them and tosses it aside. They drag the quadrupedal alien quickly into the parking garage before physically throwing them into the back of a van.
From the back of the hallway, a fluid can be seen spreading across the ground. A trio of Venlil back out of a room while holding their flamers up. They are unlit, instead spewing fuel out of their nozzles. The trio twirl around in an overly animated manner as they walk down the hall to the parking garage. A van pulls out of its spot with windows down so the passengers could let out a cheer.
A black-suited Venlil runs up to the spraying trio while waving their arms to get them out into the garage. The microphone just barely manages to catch him saying, “We need to save some for the predators!” One of the other Venlil replies, “Yes sir, Mafchi!” A short flurry of curses is heard as the gathered exterminators pile into the three other visible vans. Two of the vans speed out of the garage, forcing some other Venlil exterminators to dive out of the way in the process.
The black-suited Mafchi picks up a fuel canister that had been dropped and twists off its cap. He slings it under his shoulder and pours a line of fuel. He marches straight to the final van and hops up into the open rear. The van backs itself up to turn out of the garage. The fuel canister clatters to the ground as it pulls away. Before it clears the view of the camera, the Black-suited Venlil is seen standing in its open back. He is holding what appears to be a flare gun.
The flare sails through the air shortly after the van leaves the frame and impacts the ground. It bounces and rolls until it touches the fuel and ignites it in an instant. A small wall of fire proceeds down the provided trail into the hallway, igniting more fuel as time passes. The hallway is quickly engulfed in vividly red fire. Thick black smoke begins to pour out into the garage as the fire inches closer to the primary fuel tank.
Movement can be seen in the hallway between the flickering flames. The silver form of a Venlil Exterminator is seen rushing out of the stairwell and fighting to head towards the fuel storage room. Before they reach, a white flash fills the screen. The feed goes dead, the error code consistent with electrical interruption.
(Specified Media Concluded.)

{Who was what? Mafchi?}

{Hmmm, there aren’t any tags embedded for them. The suits do a rather good job at making the officers anonymous. Let me see…oh.}

{The, uh… the employment records for that Office were…terminated.}

{It looks like…yes, here. Record wipe in 2497. Media with less than 1 bistandannual visit were removed to save space on the university’s central server. It’s…they’re gone, gone gone.}

{Maybe, but that’ll do us no good if we don’t know their name. And because of the chaos of that incident, nobody has been able to accurately reconstruct where every individual was in that office. We’d have to already know who they were to find them.}
<...I guess that’s another person I’ll have to remember then, huh?>
{...Guess so. Speaking of remembering, perhaps you should check out Tarlim’s view again? Seeing how we were just talking about him.}
<...Sure. At least people remember his name, right?>
(Command: [exitprogram])
(Are you sure? [Y])
…
{-Program Selected-}
{-Restart From Last Playback Point? Y/(N)-}
{-[USERID-11229KMD]: procViewHist -}
{-Retrieving Transcription Viewing History…-}
{-List Retrieved - Select Desired Subject: (Tarlim)-}
{-Restart From Last Playback Point? (Y)/N-}
{-Playing…-}
Memory Transcription Subject: Tarlim, the Venbig. Date [Standardized Human Time] October 31st, 2136
No matter how much Sven and Anso griped about it, having them leave and return with the trailer was a great idea. The humans who had gone with them the first time were, to my dismay, excited to try and ride in the back. I had at least been able to impress on those four that I couldn’t let anyone else ride like that, and that they were to help with rigging a trailer with some seats.
I had to admit; they did a good job!
Several couches sat bolted to the floor of the covered trailer and even had some ropes that could be hooked across the armrests as impromptu belts. It wasn’t perfect by any means, but it would work as well as any bus or short train ride! Certainly superior to jumping in the bed of a truck.
I strode out into the parking road and swayed my ears to greet Anso. Sven had stayed behind here to meet with the humans and entertain the kids, a job which he was slightly less unenthusiastic about compared to last time. “Greetings, Anso! Have you made the necessary preparations for the humans to leave with you?”
The Yotul hopped out of the truck bed and bounced to me. “We have! I have to say those humans were great workers to have helped get this whipped up so quickly! I hope Sven has been behaving himself?”
I let my tail wag behind me remembering my last glimpse of him. He should really secure his sheath straps! “He has! Been entertaining the refugees while I made sure they all had their belongings ready to go. Come on inside, let’s go gather them.”
I guided him with a wave of my arm as we turned back to the door. To be truthful, I hadn’t expected Sven to win the humans over as quickly as he did. Needless to say, his primitive attire seemed to spark joy within them, a joy sorely needed amidst the sadness of recency.
As we entered the building I noticed something, or rather, the lack of something. When I had exited only a few [minutes] prior, the building had been full of life and noise. Now, it was almost dead quiet, save for the sounds of a holovision coming from the lobby. Rather heated sounds, at that.
“I didn’t think it was already main rest claw,” Anso mused as he, too, recognized the aggravated voices coming from the lobby. “And what are they watching in there? Sounds…angry.”
“Yeah…” I trailed off as I followed the noises. As I approached the lobby, the sound of what I assumed was a Gojid yelling. “You know nothing about my family. TALK, JUST FUCKING TALK, NOW!” My ears pinned back at the foul language at play, hoping that Sven and the children were somewhere else.
As I entered the room, I saw that I was only half right. The children were thankfully nowhere to be found, but Sven was obviously present, as was most of the facility staff. I was about to ask what was going on before another voice drew my attention to the holovision, the same as everyone else. The voice of none other than Chief Nikonus.
“There were three of us who laid out the groundwork for the Federation. When Kolshian explorers came in contact with the Farsul, more than a thousand years ago, the galaxy was young. We were the first in this sector to escape our gravity well. You know about the founding of this institution, but I reiterate it just in case.”
“The Krakotl were the third,” another voice piped up from behind the camera. I thought it might’ve been another Gojid, but the voice was far too breathy. Harchen, maybe? I wasn’t given a chance to consider it further as Nikonus continued. “Yes, they were a problem from the start; aggressive, disagreeable. We tried to identify the problem, and why they were so ill-equipped for spacefaring.”
“We learned they were scavengers, who would occasionally go for fish as well.”
His next line was rendered inaudible by the shocked gasps of both the refugees and residents in the room. I was no different, drawing in a sharp breath at the abrupt admission. I remembered that Arvi had said some aliens were revealed to have eaten meat in the past, but was this the way it was decided to be revealed? With such abject callousness?
Nikonus continued to speak, looking not just proud, but smug with his words. He went on about how the Federation had saved these aliens with their manipulations, but the entirety of his body language seemed to indicate he reveled in how devastating this information would be to the people he was speaking to. How they manipulated an entire culture, a RELIGION!
What if they did the same to ours?
That horrifying thought struck through my mind like a derailing train. I had relied upon the Tenets in some of my darkest moments. Found comfort in them when there was none elsewhere to be found. To have such a comfort revealed as a lie in its entirety, used only for some other group to control you…
The voice of Nikonus hit my ears again. “Oh Sovlin, I already told you. For the small minority of species who don’t find herbivory alone, we teach them the right way. Doesn’t the religion against predators sound familiar?”
The Kolshian was insufferably proud of those words. There was no doubt in my mind now; this was mocking. Mocking a Gojid for following The Protector. For being a predator. For being different, but expecting to still be treated as a person. The Gojid were predators, they couldn’t help it, and they were already being mocked for it.
What might happen to all the other species?
I shifted my focus away from the screen to the crowd, searching for one in particular. Vichee, a Krakotl already so different from everyone else, and now my concerns for them were multiplied with every word that fell from Nikonus’ mouth. Were they okay? They had come in here to see Sven, I had seen them. Where are-
I spotted Kaeden in the corner of the room. Next to him, slumped against the wall, was Vichee. The dual colored Krakotl’s eyes were glazed over as they stared at nothing. I strode over quickly, my instincts wanting to comfort them. Kaeden was simply standing there, it was confusing that he didn’t seem to be comforting Vichee at all. As I got closer, their head tilted up to me, regarding me with an unfocused eye.
“He was right.” They said quietly. My implant almost didn’t pick it up over the sounds of the lobby. “Kaeden had asked me soon after our first meeting if Krakotl had once been meat eaters. Said it was the shape of our beaks. ‘More suited to capturing small wriggling prey than filtering algae’. He told me. I nearly flew away right then… If I had, I would have been alone with this news.”I listened, kneeling down to be closer to their level. “You’re not alone, your herd is here. Right Kaeden?”
He looked over at me and nodded. “Vichee was there with me when Earth was attacked. I’m here for them now. Kaabra and Venik are… together, elsewhere at the moment. But they will be here too.”
I flicked my ears in understanding. “Then I hope they may help in hugging Vichee until their tears are dry.” I turned an eye to Vichee. “Please, I just want you to know that you are still you. What your body does has no effect on your personhood.”
Vichee still sat, their mind still likely whirling with the new information. They lifted their differently colored wings. “I’m well aware. This lesson I already learned. But thank you, I understand what you mean.” Kaeden nodded slowly and Vichee returned to their thoughts.
“There’s going to be trouble soon, Tarlim,” Kaeden stated gravely. “News like this? Nothing good will come of it. I can already tell this won’t go over well. Keep your eyes open.”
As if in response to his words, the sound of clanking metal hits my ears. They shoot up, pivoting to locate its source. There, dashing towards the door, was the armored figure of Sven. I didn’t know him enough to know how this broadcast would affect him, but running was never the best sign. I flicked my ears goodbye to my friends and rose, following after the metal man. In my periphery, I saw the television screen had shifted to show Rolem moving onto the stage. I would have to miss whatever it was he had to say, so ducked through the doors and continued to follow the sound of metal.
As I exited, I saw that I wasn’t the only one to see Sven’s actions. Anso was bounding behind him, shouting something I couldn’t hear. Sven didn’t seem to either as he kept running, but his gait wasn’t one of fear. He looked purposeful, sprinting in a straight line. A line pointed right towards-
Towards the observing Exterminator Van.
The metal Venlil didn’t even hesitate at the presence of the fence. He leapt up in a display of strength and agility, vaulting over the barrier and continuing his beeline into the van. It was like phased through the doors with how fast he moved. There were sounds of commotion that followed his entry, and soon two Exterminators fell out of the van. One Venlil…and one Krakotl. I wonder how Kalek is taking things.
I, too, cleared the fence with only a high step and reached the van, peering in to see Sven at the controls. “Sven! What are you doing?” I asked, the Krakotl officer shivering on the ground in my periphery.
“They got my girl!” He huffed, “She’s a Gojid, they got her, I can’t let them do anything worse to her!” He tried to activate the vehicle to no avail, but his words brought up something that I hadn’t thought much over. I remember hearing about temporary emplacements that were being set up. Paly had texted me about exterminators bringing people there. Her too. And that would mean-
-THOOOOOOOMMMMM-
The wind hit me like a truck and rocked the van I was standing next to. Sven even stopped trying to fiddle with the controls to see what had just happened. In the distance, near the center of town, an enormous black cloud rose into the air, the vestiges of fire still burning in the suspended embers. I couldn’t look away from it as my mind raced with horrible possibilities as my mind tripped over itself trying to concoct a plan of action.
I wasn’t given long to think before the radio in the van crackled to life, startling both Sven and myself. “Attention all True Exterminators! The truth has come out about the taint in our midst! For too long we have lived with its danger in our presence! If any of you still hold the safety of The Herd in your hearts, come join us so we may burn ALL the predator taint from this District! Rendezvous at Vulen’s apartment complex, we shall start our cleansing there!”
The name of one of my landlords sparked familiarity in my mind. They had been working to build a series of new apartments to add to his old, and if I remembered, had agreed to house the Gojid refugees. The Gojid! Paly was housed with them!!
In an instant, I reached into the van and grabbed Sven by the arm. He tried to pull away, but my grip was too strong. “Sven! They’re gonna kill the Gojid! They’re gonna burn Paly!”
He finally managed to shake himself free as my paws became jittery from stress. “I gotta save my girlfriend! She’s in a facility! I gotta save her!”
“But they’re gonna burn people here!” I protested, “we have to do something! We need- We need People who can fight them! Kaeden! I need to get Kaeden! We can save them!”
I pulled myself away from the van and spotted Anso nearby. He must have had to go through the gate, but this was good timing. I pointed a claw at him. “Do Not Let Him drive off before I get back!”
I didn’t give him, nor the Exterminators who had recovered from their shock, time to ask questions. Paly was in danger, as were who knew how many others. I faintly heard my data pad chime from within my shoulder bag, the signal my heart was beating too fast, but I couldn’t deal with it right now. I could get the heart rate under control during the drive. Right now I needed Kaeden, he knew how to fight! How to save people when others were trying to kill them!
My paws guided me and I was back in the cafeteria before I knew it. Some of the crowd had dissipated, but Kaeden and Vichee were still in the same corner I had left them in, but with their Venlil friends now joined. Without leaving time for protest, I grabbed Kaeden’s arm and pulled him away. I heard Vichee squawk behind me, but I was in too much of a hurry. I can’t let her get hurt. I Won’t.
Kaeden started to slap my arm as I dragged the soldier across the lobby. “Tarlim! What the fuck are you doing?? What’s going on?”
“No time, they’re going to burn everyone,” I breathlessly said as I burst the facility doors open to get him to the van.
“What? Who?” Kaeden questioned, still resisting my pull. I could hear a tinge of worry in his voice, and I knew he would understand. Anso looked back from his position as he heard my approach, and upon seeing me dragging Kaeden along, he grew visibly concerned.
“On the radio, something about True Exterminators,” I attempted to explain to him as we neared the gate doors. This time, I simply spread them apart with my free paw, metal screeching against itself as the gate was forced open. “They’re going to burn every cured species they can find, and That Means Paly. I Won’t Let Them.”
Kaeden had stopped struggling as I explained the bare essentials to him, and once we approached the van, he finally had enough sense to ask the right questions. “So what exactly is the plan to stop them? We’re strong, sure, I could probably take most of them. But just two of us against a wall of those flamers?”
“Not two,” I corrected, letting go of his arm and throwing open the back doors of the van. Still seated in the drivers side was Sven, who looked back once he heard me permit entrance into the back. “We have him too.”
“Wh- the LARPer??” Kaeden asked incredulously. I wasn’t familiar with the term he used, but his tone told us all we needed to know. Sven’s eyes narrowed at the perceived insult, but Kaeden continued. “Do either of you have any formal military training?? Rushing down there is only going to get you both killed along with the others! For fucks sake, slow down! We need a plan!”
“T-There won’t be t-time f-for one,” a voice peeped in from behind us. We all turned to face the source, and we found it was the Venlil Exterminator. They recoiled under the sudden gaze of our entire party, but they managed to continue. “I-I recognized the v-voice. It w-was one of the n-new recruits. They m-might as well be Y-Yulpa. If you w-want to stop them, it’s now or n-never.”
We all stared at them for a moment in disbelief that they’d willingly hand over that information to us. They were Exterminators, weren’t they? They should be allied with the voice on the radio! Kaeden, after considering the information, gave voice to my confusion. “And why are you telling us this? You’re an exterminator, shouldn’t you be trying to help them?”
“M-My husband is the Krakotl that was in the van with me!” They yelled back, stamping their footpaw on the ground in agitation. “I-I don’t care what his ancestors did a t-thousand years ago, I will not stand for those zealots burning who knows how many people! We’re not all the same, h-human!”
I was taken aback by their words. I had given up hope that there were any redeemable souls amongst the ranks of those silver-suited brahkasses, but living proof of the contrary stood before us. Their breathing was only matched by mine as my pad continued to chime in my pack. Maybe there’s hope after all.
Kaeden started frantically looking all around, his focused gaze falling on the facility, the exterminator in front of us, and the rising smoke in the distance. After a moment's hesitation, he growled to himself and shook his head. “Fine! Fucking- if you want to prove you’re different, you and your partner stand guard at the gate! They’ll probably try to send a division here, so keep on guard! And for the love of God, go ask for help if that happens!”
My tail wagged behind me as I interpreted what that meant. “So you’ll help us, Kaeden?”
He paused for a second, an agonizing second as he fully took in the situation in his mind. But ultimately, he nodded. “Let’s go, we can figure things out along the way.”
Seizing the moment, Anso quickly jumped into the van and pushed Sven out of the driver's seat, much to their visible frustration. Kaeden quickly hopped into the passenger seat, leaving me with the problem of finding a space that would fit me. I stepped over to the back of the van and threw the doors open.
The flamers and their fuel tanks were useless to us, easy to toss all three sets out onto the ground behind me. I made sure that the flamers were disabled first, of course. Just had to snap the pilot lighters and slice a hose with my claw. Even if these two said they weren’t like these “True Exterminators” I didn’t trust them one bit. I crawled inside the cramped vehicle and wiggled myself to close the doors behind me.
As I got myself settled, I watched as the Venlil Exterminator started to inspect the destroyed remains of their weapons. I squinted a glare at them and positioned myself so they couldn’t enter with me. “You two aren’t coming,” I hissed. “You know why you’re not. Try anything with the humans, and they will stop you.”
I slammed the doors shut as their expressions fell, just in time for Anso to get the van into gear. I curled myself up against the wall of the van, watching out the back window as we sped down the road. We were on our way now. On our way to save Paly and all the people gathered because their ancestors ate meat. My heart hammered in my chest, but I would need to control it for what we were about to do. I needed to focus. I needed to breathe. I needed to be calm.
Focus. Breathe. Calm
Focus.
Breathe.
Calm…
{-ALERT: Automatic Annotation Detected - Switching Transcription Subject-}
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Memory Transcription Subject: Sol-Vah, Fleeing Predator. Date [Standardized Human Time] October 31st, 2136
My legs couldn’t carry me anymore. I had to keep going, but I didn’t have the strength. My pants became wheezes as my body struggled to keep up with the physical exertion of running almost halfway through town. I hadn’t even looked up before now, at least with eyes not blinded by tears. The pain of Mute’s rejection still stung in my soul, a pain so visceral it threatened to rip me apart worse than any Arxur. Protector, what did I do to deserve this? Is there even a Protector, or did the Federation just- just make that up?
I didn’t have time to think about that now, I needed to get to the office. From what little I caught of the broadcast, Nikonus had said they saved us before. I knew what it likely was, but…I was desperate. I just wanted to go back home and have him embrace me like he did before. The safety and love I had felt from him was still fresh in my mind, and if there was any chance I had to get it back?
I’ll happily take it.
As I approached the office, however, something seemed off. I could smell soot in the air, but not the kind of soot that came from our flamers. This was- was…dirtier smelling, as if the fuel had been impure. Upon looking up, however, I saw something that made my stomach drop. A huge plume of smoke, billowing up into the sky. It shadowed the sun itself with its immensity and hate. Did the Exterminators burn more drugs? Or…or…
I felt a renewed vigor as I started to run towards the plume, hoping against hope that I was wrong. As soon as I turned the corner, though, my worst fears were realized. Where the office once stood now sat a burning stack of glorified rubble, every single window in sight shattered and multiple holes in the outer walls. The building was split, it was as if a giant knife had come down and sloppily sliced off its front half to spill flaming debris everywhere.
I stood in front of the building I had once called my home, surrounded by screams and the awful sound of flames roaring. I knew now there was no hope of salvation, no way this could ever be undone. I would never be able to go back to the way things were, never feel the happiness I had for that brief time. I was doomed to this life, abandoned by my love, and forced to live as an abomination devoid of a home.
I suppose that’s all a predator like me deserves.
[First]- [Prev]- {Next Story!!}
You read it right: This is going to be the final chapter of "Of Giants and Journalists." With the conclusion of Sharnet and Vekna's adventure, we will now take the time to show how this announcement has affected our characters and the galaxy at large. We're excited to announce our new series, Nature of a Giant: Aftermath! This series will not be quite as in-depth temporally as Of Giants and Journalists was, mainly because not as much will be happening in as short of a time. Rest assured, though, there will still be plenty of action across the board! You just won't have to deal with over half the story only covering a week of time!
In that vein, we are also excited to announce we are working on another bonus series, one that was teased a long time ago, Venric Lawven: Legal Legend! It will be filling the gap for content while we work on the first few chapters of Aftermath to make sure the scenes are as quality as they deserve, but will have a reduced upload schedule to once a week to accommodate for writing two series at once. On behalf of both of myself and , we'd like to thank all of our readers for sticking with us on this journey. It's hard to believe this series has been going on for over a year in one form or another, but I wouldn't have it any other way! Thank you all again for your continued support, and we look forward to seeing you again with Legal Legends! And then...
The Aftermath!!

In the competitive landscape of Indian education, understanding the various entrance exams is crucial for aspiring students. One of the most significant exams for those aiming for a career in medicine is NEET. This article will focus on explaining "NEET ka full form" and its importance in the Indian education system.
What is the Full Form of NEET?
"NEET ka full form" is National Eligibility cum Entrance Test. This exam is administered by the National Testing Agency (NTA) in India and is a key examination for students who wish to pursue undergraduate medical (MBBS), dental (BDS), and AYUSH courses in various colleges across the country.
Importance of NEET
NEET plays a pivotal role in the admission process for medical colleges in India. Here are some reasons why NEET is so important:

1. Standardization: NEET provides a single, standardized test for all medical aspirants across the nation, ensuring a fair and uniform selection process.
2. Merit-Based Admission: The exam ensures that admissions are based on merit, selecting students who have demonstrated the required knowledge and skills.
3. Simplified Process: Before NEET, students had to appear for multiple entrance exams. NEET simplifies this by consolidating the process into one exam.
4. Transparency: NEET ensures a transparent admission process, reducing opportunities for corruption and bias.

Structure of NEET
Understanding the structure of NEET is essential for effective preparation. Here’s a detailed breakdown:

1. Subjects: The NEET exam covers three main subjects - Physics, Chemistry, and Biology (Botany and Zoology).
2. Question Type: The exam consists of multiple-choice questions (MCQs).
3. Number of Questions: There are a total of 180 questions – 45 from Physics, 45 from Chemistry, and 90 from Biology.
4. Marking Scheme: Each correct answer earns 4 marks, while each incorrect answer results in a deduction of 1 mark.
5. Duration: The exam duration is 3 hours.

Preparation Tips for NEET
To succeed in NEET, a strategic and well-planned approach is necessary. Here are some preparation tips:

1. Strong Foundation: Focus on building a strong understanding of fundamental concepts in Physics, Chemistry, and Biology.
2. Regular Practice: Practice consistently with mock tests and previous years' question papers to become familiar with the exam pattern and improve time management.
3. Clear Doubts: Seek help from teachers or peers to clarify any doubts and ensure a thorough understanding of all topics.
4. Healthy Lifestyle: Maintain a balanced diet, regular exercise, and adequate sleep to keep your mind and body in optimal condition for studying.

Conclusion
"NEET ka full form"—National Eligibility cum Entrance Test—captures the essence of this crucial examination in the Indian educational system. NEET is more than just a test; it is a gateway for aspiring medical professionals to achieve their dreams. By understanding its full form, structure, and importance, students can better prepare for this challenging exam and take a significant step toward a rewarding career in medicine. With dedication and the right preparation strategy, NEET can open doors to numerous opportunities in the medical field.

Asalamualikum everyone. I hope you are all having a wonderful day. I have been following this subreddit for some while now (without actually having a Reddit account). Finally decided to make a Reddit account too, and I just need some help with what I am going through because I am indeed confused.
I 21M, have been talking to this potential 21F for the past 4 months now, things are going well and both have let parents know about each other, I have mentioned Nikkah to my parents and she has mentioned it to her parents too. Parents on both sides are a bit hesitant and saying we are a bit too young and are yet to get done with exams and all but they aren't completely opposed to the idea.
She is a beautiful girl, very intelligent and mature too. A few things I really like about her are that she is very responsible (takes care of her home alone and studies too) and caring, and actually respects all the boundaries I have set for our communication (she is foreign and for her shaking hands and even hugging is normal, but Ive told her I don't do that because its Haram and since then shes stopped doing it with other guys too like she used to just because its Haram to). Another thing is that she barely gossips or backbites and is always willing to communicate and talk through any issue. AND listens to understand rather than just answer. Honesty, respect, never playing the victim card when they’re in the wrong and taking accountability and willingness to better themselves are some other things I really liked about her. During the past 2 months life has not been easy for me but she has always trusted me and has believed in me and stayed with me even though she could have chosen to leave. She always mentions that she is really impressed by my character and has admitted that she's fallen in love with me being respectful, gentle, calm and that has made her feel safe and secure and apparently feminine too. I like that because she did not look into wealth, grades, beauty, and all as these things may fade away some day but prioritized character over everything which always stays. Prioritizing character also shows that she values the same things for herself too and is always working to be a good person. She also compliments me (prob a lot more than I do) and takes initiative and shows that she is interested too, rather than me just doing all the chasing. I myself am sometimes surprised that how and why does someone likes me this much when I am probably in one of the worst places I have been in life personally. She also tries to learn new things, and to improve herself religiously, mentally, emotionally, and physically. Shes also very trust worthy and has kept secrets really well and advised me in those matters to the best of her ability. Also she has interrupted a good conversation because its time for salaah multiple times, and once she met me with her sister and it was time for Maghrib prayer, so she told me to go offer salah even though her sister continuously insisted that I should OFFER IT LATER AS QAZAA with ISHA.
With that being said what actually bothers me is that there's A VERY EVIDENT difference between how practicing we both are, like for me Islam is the number 1 priority, and ALTHOUGH I am not perfect myself and commit a lot of sins and even sometimes struggle with whats fardh I STILL VALUE AND PRACTISE a lot more than she does. She however says she's been learning and I inspire her to learn more about Islam (she always mentions that I am willing to change everything for you), I dont want her to change for because of me tho I WANT HER TO DO THINGS FOR ALLAH SWT. Like for e.g she got to know that having male friends is not okay, but she still keeps contact with them and interacts very freely with other males too, and once asked me if its okay to go out with male friends alone, and I said Islamically it isnt. So she did not listen to that, but just said I would not go because if you went out alone with female friends (which I would never btw, Ive never had female friends ever) I would be jealous, so I expect you to be jealous too if i go out so I wont go. And there I felt like she did this not because its Haram but because I may feel bad. Other than that her family is also very anti-Islam, like she realized its fardh to wear hijab and I was soo happy about it too, I mean I never told her to but she said she found out its Fardh so she would do that and even did for 1-2 days but when her mom got to know, she forced her to remove it and not wear it again. So these are some things that are confusing me because for me its simple, YOU GOTTA DO WHAT Allah has commanded and even if you like it or not you should be doing it because selectively choosing parts of religion is not okay, which she tends to do a lot. Male friends, and interacting with males soo freely is also something that worries me, Ive gone through this reddit and everyones mentioned that it is a red flag. She says she will cut contact will all of them after nikkah but it makes no sense to me that IF YOU HAVE SET A TIME to end that friendship than why does it exist in first place. Me personally I have never had any female friends, and always interact with the opposite gender respectfully so theres a mismatch there too. And other than that I feel like theres some mismatch in values and morals too, and I dont think people change and you got to accept them for who they are right now, but she says shes changed so much since last year and since meeting me (which idk what to do about) and that she will be willing to change anything for me. But SHES BEEN BROUGHT UP in an anti-islamic family and always been told to keep religion away and its a personal thing, how can she change all what has been taught to her. And I dont think it is fun to teach someone your values and morals and what you think about every other thing, you just expect them to have a similar thinking to you (maybe im wrong here, but that sounds too taxing to me and from what ive seen on this sub reddit a human wanting to control someone’s behaviour and way of thinking is a MASSIVE red flag, so I dont want to be that RED FLAG). Their family is also a lot different to mine too, mines a lot more conservative and theirs is a lot more on the liberal side and I think that could be a problem too maybe in the future, and like when discussing the marriage ceremony I told her that my family would not prefer a mixed free gathering, instead we always have a segregated gathering however family members can be together, to which she said her family would probably not like that and she too would not want a seperate gathering. So its just some things like these that have been making me think over things. She also thinks that i am a bit too overprotective and resitrictive AND IVE never even been that way, I just act like how I normally do.
I dont want to have a long talking stage with a potential, since I think its not the best of things to do, shes the first girl I have EVER talked to with the intentions of nikkah and she says I am the first guy she has talked to who is actually willing to take this initiative too. I just want to decide what to do about this because I dont want to fall in any kind of haram, or do anything wrong/unjust, and neither do I want a LONGG TALKING STAGE (i mean 4 months is already a lot imo). I would be really happy if you people could suggest what should I be doing in this situation, and maybe suggest some questions or topics that I should be talking to her about to clarify things and to know more about who she actually is rather than who she is willing to be in the future. Also any advice related to this situation will BE VERYY HELPFUL THANK YOUUUU. JazakAllah, May Allah bless all you youu. Ameen

In the landscape of Indian education, competitive examinations hold a significant place, serving as gateways to esteemed professional courses. Among these, the National Eligibility cum Entrance Test, commonly known by its acronym NEET, stands out as a critical examination for students aspiring to enter the medical field. This article delves into the full form of NEET, its significance, and its structure, providing a comprehensive overview for students and educators alike.

What is the Full Form of NEET?

NEET stands for National Eligibility cum Entrance Test. This exam is conducted by the National Testing Agency (NTA) in India, serving as a unified platform for medical aspirants to gain admission into undergraduate medical (MBBS), dental (BDS), and AYUSH (Ayurveda, Yoga and Naturopathy, Unani, Siddha, and Homeopathy) courses across various institutions in the country.

The Significance of NEET

The introduction of NEET has brought about a significant change in the way medical admissions are handled in India. Here are some key reasons why NEET is crucial:

1. Uniformity: NEET provides a single, standardized test for all medical aspirants across the country, ensuring a uniform evaluation process.
2. Merit-Based Admission: By focusing on merit, NEET ensures that students who possess the necessary aptitude and knowledge are selected for medical courses.
3. Reduction of Stress: Prior to NEET, students had to appear for multiple entrance exams for different colleges and states. NEET simplifies this process by consolidating it into one exam.
4. Transparency: The centralized nature of NEET helps maintain transparency in the admission process, reducing the chances of corruption and bias.

Structure of NEET

Understanding the structure of NEET is crucial for effective preparation. Here’s a breakdown of the exam format:

1. Subjects Covered: NEET primarily tests students on their knowledge of Physics, Chemistry, and Biology (Botany and Zoology).
2. Question Type: The exam consists of multiple-choice questions (MCQs).
3. Total Questions: There are 180 questions in total – 45 each from Physics and Chemistry, and 90 from Biology.
4. Marking Scheme: Each correct answer awards 4 marks, while each incorrect answer results in a deduction of 1 mark.
5. Duration: The total duration of the exam is 3 hours.

Preparation Tips for NEET

Success in NEET requires a strategic and well-planned approach. Here are some tips to help aspirants prepare effectively:

1. Strong Foundation: Focus on building a strong understanding of the fundamental concepts in Physics, Chemistry, and Biology.
2. Regular Practice: Consistent practice through mock tests and previous years' question papers helps in familiarizing with the exam pattern and time management.
3. Clear Doubts: Do not hesitate to seek help from teachers or peers to clear any doubts or conceptual misunderstandings.
4. Healthy Lifestyle: Maintain a balanced diet, regular exercise, and adequate sleep to ensure physical and mental well-being during the preparation phase.

Conclusion

The National Eligibility cum Entrance Test (NEET) is more than just an exam; it is a pivotal step for aspiring medical professionals in India. Understanding its full form, structure, and the significance it holds in the education system is essential for students aiming to excel in this competitive field. With the right preparation and mindset, NEET can open the doors to a rewarding career in medicine, contributing to the health and well-being of society.
In summary, NEET ka full form—National Eligibility cum Entrance Test—encapsulates its role as a crucial standardized test that paves the way for medical education in India, ensuring a fair and merit-based selection process for future doctors and healthcare providers.

The result delay was long but doesn't matter now, I got the P, Alhamdullilah.
I will answer some FAQs here
● What resources did I use? Uworld, FA, pathom(1-3), Anki, sketchy Guys, FA has all the knowledge you need for step 1. Uworld will help you to apply the knowledge on clinical scenarios. I used Anki for my incorrects and weaknesses.I revised FA again and again. Guys, Sketchy is the GOAT for micro and pharma.
● What were your nbme scores? NBME 25 71% NBME 26 69% NBME 27 74% NBME 28 77% NBME 29 81% NBME 30 75% NBME 31 82%
UWSA 1 239 :69% correct UWSA 2 232 :70% correct UWSA 3 254 :76% correct
AMBOSS SA 223 LECTURIO SA 77% correct
Old free 120 77% New free 120 (2023) 73% New free 120 (2024) 81%
● How did I feel after the exam? I felt okay. Not tooo happy and not miserable. I knew I passed. The only thing that bothered me were the last 2 blocks bcz they were the toughest Blocks I had ever encountered.
● Is the exam doable? Yes, it is doable. Some of my blocks were super easy. Options were easy to eliminate in these blocks. Yes ofc there were some wtf questions but overall, it's a fair test. Don't stress out if you don't get an answer right away.
● Advice: Do not compare your practice scores with others. Use Uworld as a learning tool and don't let the score scare you. Practice more and more questions in one sitting to build stamina and try to save time in blocks. I didn't find revising NBMEs useful. Maybe bcz I studied FA many times and already knew the stuff. There will always be good days and bad days. Don't let a bad day or a bad test effect your prep. Get up and start over.
Available if anyone needs help/guidance.

If you are struggling with Step 1, trust me, I understand you. I am not a strong test taker and I struggle with testing anxiety. Having to go through this exam 3 times nearly broke me. If you passed, congratulations, I'm so relieved and happy for you! If you failed, I know how you feel and I hope my story can motivate you because you are amazing and capable. If you are studying and stressing out, please keep your head up because if I can pull through this, you definitely can.
My story summarized:
I took 2 months of step 1 dedicated last year and saw on reddit that people would pass with low 60s on NBMEs. I thought to take it once I hit a 62 on NBME and a 60+ on Free 120 (my school would not let me push it back any further). I came out of that test shattered as it did not feel like anything I've ever taken before; the question STEMs were long and I was constantly running out of time. After my initial F, I tried to retake it immediately, ~5 weeks after my first attempt so that I could quickly get back on track with school. I hired a tutor and started Bootcamp. I thought I just needed to show consistency so I got 62 and a 67 on two NBMEs. I went into that test feeling so confident and felt great after the test; the question stems were short & sweet and I didn't have a time issue. I was confident that I passed. When I received that second F, I cannot truly describe that feeling but I wouldn't hope it for anyone. I had to take a year off on LOA to fix my depression and anxiety disorder that resulted from this traumatic experience.
I started truly studying for this exam in January of this year and took the exam 4/19. I told myself that I would not sit for this exam again until I've scored in the 70+ consistently on NBMEs and fixed my confidence. This was my last chance taking the step 1 exam as a third failure results in dismissal from my school. I think that added pressure on top of my testing anxiety was something that took ALOT of time with counseling and self reflection/growth to heal from. My initial date was 4/10 but I was having extreme physical pain that week and my practice score dropped from 78 to 60, so I, not wanting to repeated my mistake in the past, extended my LOA so I could take the exam 4/19. I took another practice exam to make sure I was confident and got a 69%. It wasn't the 70+ I wanted but my counselor told me that I may never feel confident, but I have been meeting my score goals consistently and having prepared for this exam for, essentially a year now, I did not want to burn out so I took the exam. Here are my stats this time: 4/15/24: 69% (Form 29), 4/7/24: 60% (Form 28), 4/4/24: 78% (Form 26), 3/15/24: 74% (Form 30), 2/29/24: 69% (Form 31), 2/15/24: 65% (Form 25), 2/1/24: 66% (Form 27).
I can honestly say I feel like I truly understand the material and am able to think about things clinically, which is something I could not have said for my first two attempts.
To note, I don't think everyone needs 70+ on NBMEs to pass, but if you have testing anxiety, tend to struggle with timed tests, have ADD, or easily get shaken from a "bad section," then you should aim for 70+ (timed, and as close to the exam environment as possible) to be able to sit for the real thing. Cudos to those who did it without but I think that not having 3+ NBMEs >65% is a risk. Look at me, I took those risks and failed twice before. I don't want that for you.
Prior to and Exam day:
I visited the testing center twice before my test date to familiarize myself with it. I checked out the bathrooms and saw the common area. This test was also and mental and emotion task for me, so knowing my environment was important.
I studied the day before because I am just not the type to take a day off before the exam - my anxiety could not let me just rest. I slept maybe 4 hours (don't recommend it but I don't usually sleep before big events so 4 was good for me). I had my partner drive me so I could just decompress in the car and did not have an appetite but forced myself to eat a banana. I took an ibuprofen as I knew I tend to get stress headaches/cramps along the test, which usually really affected me.
The first section was terrible (wanted to just fight the computer screen) but I lied to myself that it was gonna be one of my best sections so I am not gonna worry about it. I took each section like its own thing, not letting the previous affect me. I realized that timing was not as forgiving on this as NBMEs so I made myself go through all the questions so that I could have 5 minutes to check unanswered or marked ones. I think I marked 18 in 3 sections (which was freaky) but again, told myself not to worry about them. Overall, 3 sections felt terrible and the rest felt okay to meh. I calmed myself down because I told myself that I've seen thousands of step 1 questions at this point as I've completed Uworld Qbank, Amboss Qbank, all available online NBMEs, free 120, and taken this exam twice); I think this reassurance made a huge difference in not allowing my testing anxiety to affect me. Trust me, it wasn't smooth sailing though and I think adrenaline carried me through this test.
I did not know how to feel after my exam as it didn't feel as difficult as my first attempt but not as "easy" as my second attempt. However, my 6 NBMEs were 65-78% (with the exception of 1 at 60%) this time, so I just told myself to trust my score. I knew I missed a handful of easy ones but also felt reassured when I looked up the ones I guessed and saw that I had guessed most of them correctly.
Waiting 4 weeks for my score was torture. I prayed, cried, distracted myself with video games, and spent time with friends.
Overall I am so happy to finally move on with my life bc it felt like limbo for the past year. If you want to hear what worked for me the third time around, you can read more below.
What didn't work for me:

• I have never learned well with textbooks. I don't know why I thought using First-Aid as the foundation of my study prep was a good idea. I was also trying to do thousands of Anki when I was always struggling to keep up with ANKI in med school. You know what works for you as you've studied all your life to get to this point in medical school. FA/Anki might be the holy grail for some people but if that's not your learning style or how you learn best, use other options!
• I took tests on my laptop at home for my first two attempts. You might not know it, but you may be a little too comfortable so try to go to a library where there are desktop computers and simulate the real deal.

What did work for me:

• Bootcamp and Uworld! I am a visual learning and Bootcamp videos/short quizzes really helped me ground my foundation in. However, it was unsuspending the Uworld Q's associated with the Bootcamp topic to see if I really understood the lecture material was what made a difference. I kept a spreadsheet of the Bootcamp topic completion, its associated UWorld Qbank completion, and the percentage right. Anything under 50% was a fail, 60-69% was border, and 70% was pass. I would redo my failed sections and take extra time to review my border sections. Another option for qbank is Amboss.
• Mehlman PDFs. Please, please review Mehlman's HY arrows PDFs. This is the single document that boosted my score to 70+. I did it 4x over (1 to get through it, 2 to redo the wrong ones, 3 to redo it all Qs the week before the test, and 4 to redo the wrong ones on the second attempt). I did his biochem sections and his biostats questions the week before the exam, which was a big help. I heard his risk factor PDFs were good, but I didn't have time to do that.
• NBMEs, use them as a resource! I would see the same topics come up again and again for each NBME. I know their explanation sucks but try to just understand what topic/concept they are trying to get you to know. Some people say this inflates your score but familiarizing yourself with HY topics that get tested time and time again is studying smart. I made Quizlet flashcards on each question I got wrong from forms 25-31 and Free 120. Yeah, I used quizlet bc I hated Anki and seeing Anki demoralized me, so I had to use a different flashcard medium. Quizlet actually has an AI feature to ask you questions and give explanations based on your flashcards, and I think this is pretty cool.
• For Micro and Pharm, I used Sketchy.

If you have any questions or need moral support, feel free to DM me. I'm done with step 1, and I'll see you on the other side!

FOR CLASS XI
Choose a subject that really lights you up. It helps in college admissions if you've already learned the subject in school.
FOR CLASS XII

• If you didn't study at all in XI, take a deep breath; there's still time. You will have to work harder, but it's absolutely possible.
• Before boards, get all your documents organized in one place. You'll thank yourself when you're knee-deep in exams.
• Don't procrastinate when it comes to applying for college entrances. Getting it done early means less stress later on.

COMMON ADVICE: STUDIES

• Studying daily might not be possible, so try to cover everything within the week, and use weekends for backlogs.
• Don't wait for exams; revise regularly.
• Use YouTube and other online resources. If they distract you, stick to offline classes. But a hundred tuition and entrance classes won't help you if you drop dead halfway, so don't overload yourself.
• Find a good YouTube channel early on in the academic year and stick to it. Resource overload can also drive you crazy. Make sure to create playlists so that you won't have to spend time searching it up later.
• Don't let anyone pressure you into entrance classes until you're sure it's what you want. Remember, there's always the option to take a gap year, which is better than wasting two years and not getting good scores in both boards and entrance exams.
• Be ahead of your school. Study or at least read the chapters once before they're taught in class.
• Don't drown in a sea of guides; try to stick to one publisher for guides and question banks. It's either good notes or guides; both are not needed. Question Bank is important, and so are PYQs (Previous Year Questions).
• Exemplar is aimed at students pursuing entrance exams. Important exemplar questions are usually covered in Question Banks.
• Solve mock papers while also tracking the time. This is very, very important.
• Don't dismiss any subject as unimportant or easy. A 100 is far greater than a 99; it even gets you a special certificate from CBSE. However good you are in a subject, without proper prep, even if you get a 99, you won't get a 100.
• If you can, stick to handwritten or printed notes. They're easier on the eyes and less confusing.
• Keep a little notebook to note down scores, exam timetables, and portions to track progress.
• Create a cozy study nook with good lighting. It doesn't have to be Insta-worthy.
• Keep all your study stuff in one spot near your study zone.

COMMON ADVICE: STUDENT LIFE

• The next two years will already be tough; don't add to it by landing in trouble.
• Sign up for programs and competitions only if you genuinely want to. Some teachers may push students into everything; don't fall for it.
• If group studies aren't actually getting any studies done, then stop. Study by yourself or in smaller groups.
• Organize small get-togethers with friends from time to time. Go out, enjoy.
• Don't forget self-care: going to the gym, skincare—all of these don't have to be put on hold for boards.
• Remember to sleep. All-nighters will affect you in the long run. Don't let those study YouTubers fool you; we all saw how that turned out.
• Remember, school isn't just about academics; make sure to enjoy yourself too. Your happiness matters. Don't let CBSE Boards be your whole personality. Don't put your life on hold for that.
• Teachers aren't perfect. Don't let their criticism get to you. Your success will speak for itself.
• If something or someone's dragging you down, it's okay to create some distance—it's self-care.
• Don't waste energy debating about reservations. Many people simply criticize without knowing the full story. Don't get brainwashed into hating a big portion of our society.
• Something that works for others might not work for you and vice-versa. Everyone is a different individual.
• Limit social media and completely ghost it during exams. You can always get back to it.
• Reduce screen time. Most students are half-blind since online classes started during the pandemic.

On the Origin of the Buddhist Arthakathás Cambridge University Press (1871)

"—the commentary, I say, upon this Scripture was
at the first Council rehearsed by five hundred holy elders
and in later times rehearsed again and yet again."

L. Comrilla Vijasinha, Government Interpreter to the Ratnapura Court Ceylon:
It must be admitted that the point raised by Mr. Childers is one of grave importance as affecting the credibility of Buddhaghosa and the authenticity of all the commentaries on the Tipitaka. From a missionary point of view, the astounding statement that a commentary on Buddha's discourses existed during his lifetime, and was rehearsed along with those discourses at the First Great Council, appears so improbable and unnatural as at once to justify one in discrediting the testimony; and I doubt not that missionary orientalists will hail the discovery as a valuable addition to their stock of arguments against the genuineness and authenticity of the Buddhist Scriptures.
Indeed I found it difficult at first to obtain the opinions of some of my learned friends of the Buddhist priesthood on this point, as they seemed to regard it as another thunderbolt intended to be levelled against their religion by some enthusiastic missionary ; and it was only after explaining to them the object of the inquiry, and the literary character of the gentleman who started the apparent difficulty, that I could induce them to look the question fairly in the face.
I am glad to say that most of my clerical Buddhist friends with whom I have consulted on this subject agree with me on the necessity of giving a wider and more extended signification than is generally allowed to the word Atthakathá as applied by Buddhaghosa in the passage cited. The word, as is well known, is compounded of two terms, attha, " meaning, " and katha , " a statement, explanation, or narrative," the dental t being changed to the cerebral by a latitude in the rules of permutation.1 The literal meaning of the compound term would thus amount to simply " an ex- planation of meaning. " Taking this wider sense of the word as a basis for the solution of the problem, I think the statement of Buddhaghosa in his preface to the commentary on the Dígha Nikáya is not so hopelessly irreconcilable with probable and presumable facts as would at first sight appear.
On a careful perusal of the two accounts given by Buddhaghosa of the proceedings of the three famous Councils in the Sumańgala Vilásiní and the Samanta Pásádiká, this view will, I think, be found to be very reasonable. It must be admitted that no actual commentary, in the sense that the westerns attach to that term, and like that which has been handed down to us by Buddhaghosa, existed either in the lifetime of Buddha or immediately after his death. The reasons adduced by Mr. Childers, apart from others that can easily be added, against such a supposition, are overwhelmingly convincing. But if we suppose that by the word Atthakathá in his preface Buddhaghosa only meant to convey the idea that at the various Councils held for the purpose of collocating the discourses and sayings of Buddha, the meanings to be attached to different terms were discussed and properly defined, then the difficulty of conceiving the contemporaneous existence pf the commentaries and the Pitakas would be entirely removed.
This view of the subject will appear still further borne out if we briefly glance over the history of the First Convocation, as narrated by Buddhaghosa himself. The first proposal to hold an assembly of priests for the purpose of collocating Buddha's discourses was made by Mahá Kassapa, the chief of the seven hundred thousand priests who assembled at Kusinára to celebrate the obsequies of the departed saint. Seven days had hardly elapsed after that mournful occurrence, when signs of discontent at monastic restraint manifested themselves, and a disaffected disciple of Buddha named Subhadda openly proclaimed that now their master was no more the ties of discipline should be relaxed, if not broken. The words of consolation offered by this old monk to his brethren in distress are certainly remarkable, as it would be difficult to say whether they betoken more the callousness of his feelings or the depravity of his heart: " Brethren, enough of this sorrow, weep not, lament not. We are well rid of that Arch-priest, having been in constant dread of his declarations, This befits you, this befits you not. Now, there- fore, what we desire we shall do; what we do not desire that shall we not do." To a sagacious mind like that of Mahá Kassapa it was not difficult to perceive what language like this foreshadowed, and he instantly formed the resolve to congregate the priesthood, and to collect and arrange the laws and doctrines proclaimed by his Master. Hardly two months had elapsed before this active mind brought about what it had contemplated, and the result was the Council of the Five Hundred, convoked at Kájagaha, under the auspices of King Ajátasattu, for the purpose of collecting and arrang- ing the doctrines and discourses of Buddha.
The proceedings of this Council appear to have been con- ducted in a very orderly and systematic manner, which is the more surprising when we consider that monastic autocracy was about to give place to a form of church government prescribed by the great Founder himself, but which was now to be established and tested for the first time. Mahá Kassapa, whom Buddha indirectly indicated as his equal in point of superhuman mental acquirements, assumed the office of Moderator, and by the unanimous consent of the synod Upáli was elected as the best qualified of their order to repeat the Yinaya, and Ānanda the Dhamma ; the Council having previously decided that the Yinaya was the most material for the permanence of Buddhism.
Now it is important to observe that the catechetical form was used in the collocation of both the Laws and Doctrines. "Afterwards Mahá Kassapa, having seated himself in the presidential chair, questioned the venerable Upáli respecting the Yinaya in this wise. Brother Upáli, where was the first Párájika promulgated? My lord, at Vesáli. On whose account? On account of Sudinna, the son of Kalanda. With regard to what offence? To fornication. Then did the venerable Mahá Kassapa question the venerable Upáli on the offence, the cause, the offender, the primary law, the secondary law, the transgression and the non-transgression, relating to the first law enacted against mortal sin. And the venerable Upáli explained as he was questioned." Such was also the method employed in the synod in the collocation of the Dhamma : - " Brother Ananda, where was the Brahmajála delivered ? My lord, between Rájagaha and Nálanda," and so on. Though it is subsequently added that " at the conclusion of the questions and answers the five hundred Arhats repeated the texts together in the order in which they had been collocated,"- it is difficult to believe that all' the five hundred rehearsed the long narratives prefixed to some of Buddha's discourses in the same words and style that they are now clothed in. Buddhaghosa's account of the synod is gathered from tradition, which was very probably embodied in the Simhalese atthakathás, and there can be little doubt that the main facts are correct ; but that he drew largely from tradition, written and oral, and possibly in some instances from imagination, will I think appear clear to any careful reader of the commentaries. Witness for instance his relation of Ananda's mysterious entrance into the assembly : pathaviyam nimujjitvá ottano árnne y em attánam dassesi , ákásena gantvá nisïdîti pi eke , " He plunged into the earth and showed himself in his seat, and also some say he went through the air and sat down." He does not say which version is correct, but is quite satisfied with both accounts, and is evidently quite willing to let his readers choose whichever they like.
Buddhaghosa throughout all his writings appears to have set one great object prominently in view, namely to inspire reverence for what he considered as supreme authority. When he came to Ceylon for the purpose of translating the Simhalese commentaries, he found a great many extant at that time, and out of these commentaries, embracing no doubt various shades of opinion, and representing different schools of thought, he had to expunge, abridge, enlarge, and make a new commentary. Now how could he do all this, and at the same time preserve undiminished among future generations the same reverence and authority in which the older commentaries were held by the Buddhists of that age? The thought struck him, as no doubt it would strike any careful reader of the Buddhist Scriptures, that a large portion of the writings contained in that canon appear to be explanations and definitions of terms used by Buddha, and also that a great many discourses said to have been delivered by Buddha to certain individuals have not been recorded.
Now what more easy to conceive, or what more probable, than that they formed the nucleus of matter for the formation of a commentary, and that at the First General Council, which lasted seven months, the elders, who had all seen and heard Buddha, should have dis- cussed them, and decided on the method of interpreting and teaching the more recondite portions of Buddhist philosophy ? and what therefore if he should say in somewhat exaggerated language, " the commentary on the Digha Nikáya was at the beginning discussed (or composed, or merged into the body of the Scriptures) by five hundred holy elders" ? - for the original words may admit of such a construction. If or will this opinion appear merely hypothetical if we carefully peruse the account given by Buddhaghosa of the commentaries in his Samanta Pásádiká. In his metrical introduction to that work, after the usual doxology, he explains the necessity of having a proper Pali Commentary on the Vinaya, and then proceeds to set forth what he is about to do : -
"In commencing this commentary, I shall, having embodied therein the Mahá Atthakathá, without excluding any proper meaning from the decisions contained in the Mahá Paccarí, as also in the famous Kurundi and other com- mentaries, and including the opinions of the Elders, - perform my task well. Let the young, the middle-aged, and the elderly priests, who entertain a proper regard for the doctrines of the Tathágata, the luminary of truth, listen to my words with pleasure. The Dhamma, as well as the Yinaya, was declared by Buddha, his (sacerdotal) sons understood it in the same sense as it was delivered ; and inasmuch as in former times they (the Simhalese commentators) composed the com- mentaries without disregarding their (the sacerdotal sons') opinions, therefore, barring any erro* of transcription, every- thing contained therein is an authority to the learned in this priesthood who respect ecclesiastical discipline. From these (Simhalese) commentaries, after casting off the language, condensing detailed accounts, including authoritative deci- sions, and without overstepping any Pàli idiom (I shall pro- ceed to compose). And as this commentary will moreover be explanatory of the meaning of words belonging. to the Suttas in conformity with the sense attached to them therein, therefore ought it the more diligently to be studied."
....continued...
On the Origin of the Buddhist Arthakathás Cambridge University Press (1871)

26 y/o Persian-American male (out of two younger sisters) - I sometimes feel like my brain is a lvl. 45 Pokémon in my party (of other organs? IDK), and because I don't have any 'gym badges' under my belt (aka a college degree that I've shamed myself for ever since, in a familial structure founded upon my Father immigrating here from Iran at 17 due to an ongoing war, learning English, and earning his Doctorate degree at UT Austin in Mathematics by 24/25 y/o + Mother whom also immigrated here from the same area & around the same time which has been working as a laboratory scientist within a highly established Hospital in TX), I wake up each day with ~75-80% chance of it totally steering me off course with regards to productivity in any/all facets of my life; further, I find that it has oftentimes made a decision for me prior to any kind of a chance I should/would have had otherwise at deductively/rationally responding with an actual expression of what 'I' want and/or think is best, making it that much more difficult to break my current insomnia(-l?), burn out, depression, and productivity paralysis - all in which I've been experiencing this past year. For example: my mom telling me we have to go somewhere I don't want to in the morning, my replying 'consciously', usually in agreement in an attempt to avoid further arguments/conflicts, trading authenticity for emotional convenience, be it for better or for worse, only then for my 5Head brain to do what it likely does best (at least with regards to consistency) ala subconsciously 5Head'ing the situation in the background like an antivirus program would after downloading a sketchy Switch emulator onto one's hard drive, it's way of 'resolving' it's self proclaimed virus by having me stay up all night to where there's no way I can go after all, trading my misery for a more preferable, oftentimes comfortable solution as well as rebellion, especially towards those whom I feel can't look past their own selves when offering advice/ideas, which is one thing, but also forcing said solutions onto those concerned, be it due to frustration, which I can't blame them for given my like-mindedness towards my own self and scenario. Slightly more context in that I've always been told I'm super smart, 'could' be one of my best students if... (you know the rest ✌️🙂‍↕️), blah blah blah, but have genuinely been able to achieve things I seriously haven't heard of a single other person accomplishing especially with regards to my passions and career choices, tend to for whatever peculiar reason attract highly successful and oftentimes famous individuals i.e. content creators, musicians, general artists - weirdly/oftentimes VERY well known ones - into my life on both friendly and romantic levels (ironically, seeming to have had a strange ability to attract the upper eschalon of high functioning individuals from not much interesting initial interaction(s) from my perspective, in OR out of schooling, admittedly enough, always hoping I would become one myself, likely as a coping strategy/defense mechanism/compensatory coalition with respect to my lackluster grades/overall effort in highschool despite taking and consequently passing every advanced course possible in relation to my corresponding grade level i.e. AP Calculus in Senior yeaAP English/Government/History, you get the idea, and which was the case from 6th grade onwards, even getting into Health Careers HS upon making an exceptional grade on the entrance exam, along with pure luck I suppose, which, again, pretty prestigious or should have been if I cared, to which I basically had to provide my parents one of my first ultimatums of what would be many: 'I'm gonna get all zeroes if you don't let me go to designated Public HS', likely because it didn't resonate with me at the time - part of me regrets it looking back tbh - and/or I didn't feel like I deserved it/belonged there either) just off my personality alone, which is a lot more humble and sweet than the tonality of this passage provides, often times declared by sources external to that of my own, however believable or on the contrary at face-value. What's crazier is how empty I feel on the inside in spite of everything I've accomplished with regards to, well, again, all facets of my life. Ex: Getting fired at my Banking job last year after the initiation of the divorce for inconsistent attendance, which is fair enough, then getting a new job later at the start of July only to get promoted off my performance by the end of the month, which, for better or for worse, has generally been my same song and dance with regards to my numerous occupations likely due to my need for validation/even 'consolidation' for not having it in me to pursue a Bachelor's degree, only to then go on leave for, frankly, no longer 'having it in me' despite my undying (and disgusting) desire to still push and/or power through in an effort, forevermore, to - not even emotionally amymore but physiologically, at this point - cope with this seemingly snowballing shit-storm of a situation that is and has been 'life' as I know it to be (admittedly/notably, taking the break DID feel good as I haven't really prioritized my own wellbeing like that before) but however eventual/inevitable, got fired for repeatedly giving a date for my return each time my manager reached out to check in on my well-being, only for my first ever and repeated semblance of a panic attack arising in spite of wanting to will myself, tooth and nail, out the house each of those individual instances, ultimately preventing me from following through with my now broken promises to aforementioned ex-manager - all part of this fuck-headed prophecy. :) In an effort to wrap this very real, very frustrating fool's fairytale up, it's important to note I've been jobless ever since that day, locked in my room, still more productive in many important aspects barring perhaps socially, but I'm in huge debt, especially since I had to fire my divorce attorney last year around August for having a 30% response/hit rate for anything that wasn't the bill - I wish I was wrong - though, I was hired at a coffee shop back in February as my mom thought (and still thinks/pushes this notion) that my problem is 'I need to get out there and into the world', welp, I listened albeit after weeks of conflict/disagreements/yelling (which actions in of themselves make me feel terrible since I once took great pride in being the family peacekeeper (and from a reasonably young age too, unfortunately enough) like any good son whom in which values their own mother's reasonable enough hypothesis would, except for, well, that job too, eventually and inevitably (in my mind) 'I' ending up quitting due to - long story short - unruly junior managers and their annoyingly asinine egos'.
Wrapping up, between going through a divorce with my wife, having been forced to live back with my forever faulty family, namely, with regards to my stubborn mother and father (however much I love them to pieces, to which I feel I express well enough, consistently enough, though at the same time think is fair holding back a bit affectionately given the frequency and intensity of my current circumstances, frankly). Thankfully, I have been able to maintain my well above average athleticism/physique (my words, sure, though genuinely intended with as little ego as possible, in fact more often than not mentioned by someone other than myself, and consistently so at that ever since the 10th grade when I initially started lifting/getting into Nutrition) through daily weighted pushups of 55 lbs in a sturdy backpack, along with my self taught singing voice (worded that way to emphasize I had to basically fight my mom and dad on investing time/energy into that back during HS as well, only to, like my fitness discipline, attaining a very high level on my own and in spite of the needless and unnecessary friction provided by family), along with, and perhaps most importantly, keeping up with my mental and spiritual literacies through many renowned online University lectures, free programs, videos by Dr. K-ing himself, etc. - all to say I'm at a point, currently, where this once 'Superman' persona that I suppose never existed in the capacity seems way closer to that of a depressed, worn down Clark Kent than ever before...
Sigh
(P.S. To my 🧠: Thank you, sincerely, for giving me the courage/chutzpah to finally deliberately declassify, denote, and deliver this deconstruction of my mind, however flawed, over the internet. Further, it's imperative that I mention my confirmed diagnoses of ADHD/Borderline/Childhood & Family Trauma, along with a pending/potential Bipolar disorder as the metaphorically 'maniacal' cherry on top. I'm seeing a psychologist ATM and am prescribed Adderall which helps me tremendously, both with regards to mood and my ADHD symptoms. I've been taking medication for over 2 years now. Random but relevant side note: my insomnia started after the initiation of the divorce and again, I've basically slept once every other night throughout this whole duration)
(P.P.S. Forgive me for any inconsistencies/poor grammaseemingly unfinished statements and/or scenarios. I've had a couple hours of sleep the past 30ish hours, which has, give or take, been the case since June of last year.
(P.P.P.S. Crazy to acknowledge that I intended on sharing the first few sentences of this post when 'I' made the decision to write out this random Reddit post - I wonder, however hesitantly, what notable 'tomfoolery' my brain has planned as the potential outcome to this output and a half.)
(P.P.P.P.S. That's not even the full story LuL. Though I must mention I appreciate anyone bored/mad/strong-willed enough to muster their way from start to finish of my madness. I love this community with all of my heart, truly, and I'm sorry for coming across as brash or unapologetic at particular points, just not really feeling it ATM. Love and peace, always
Kindest regards,
Anotha One

I was a dropper, gonna join College this year. I am gonna tell you why most of the people like you and me are gonna fail jee.(Not talking about competition and reservation, you can't do jackshit about it) Classes 1st se 10th Tak syllabus easy rehta h, itna easy ki agar consistently roz 3 ghante ya exam ke last week mein bhi padh liya, to exam mein 85% to aaram se aa jate the. Kyunki ye sab memory based tha, maths mein khud hi kaafi theorems ratne ko rehti thi. Tumhe itne saalo se ek cheez nhi thi, aur vo hai mehnat karne ki aadat. But 11th and 12th mein studies mein tumhe apna brain use karna hota h, Jo tumne itne samay mein Kara nhi, aur nahi tumme mehnat karne ki aadat h, ab tumhara brain mehnat karega hi nhi. It will always procrastinate. Tumhare paas vaise hi koi reason nhi h, tumhe aur mujhe pade-pade sab mil gya h. Hamare parents aur grandparents ko majburi thi, to unhone mehnat Kari. Hame kaunsi majboori h? To ab bacche par itna burden padta h aur vo phir sehen nhi pata. Tujhe jee aur college ko chorke koi aur bhi reason chahiye hoga, jaise tu foreign country mein jana chahta hoga etc. Ye tera motivation h Jo tujhe bahut Kam Lena hoga, but zaruri h. Watch David Goggins, that guy will tell you ki mehnat kya hoti That's what I think most people go through.

(Not sure if this is the right place or not)
Ok, so let me give a bit of background...
In 2017 I moved to my current hometown. I met this friend (we'll call her Grace) and almost immediately developed a crush on her.
About a year or two later we started hanging out more and actually became best friends. Not too long after that I found out she liked me too and it kinda went from there.
Well unfortunately, it didn't last long and due to me being too young and frankly just stupid I screwed it up and that was the end of that.
I did my best to move on; I met another girl whom I liked, at least I thought I did, but after a while I realized I still had feelings for Grace.
Fast forward 3 years and we're talking again, but just off and on, mostly around holidays/each other's birthday.
Now to the presend day, we've been talking as friends relatively consistently for almost a year (maybe 6-8 months) and it's been really nice. We get along well and have a lot in common. I just find her really easy to talk to.
Well now I'm leaving for college in a couple months (just for two years, then I move back) and I suggested we hang out before I leave.
Before I get to far I should add, I've suggested hanging out before and she's always said stuff like "sure that'd be fun" or yeah I'd like that." Having known her 8 years she's usually more enthusiastic, so I can tell it's not a huge priority. She would also always mention inviting one of our other friends (her best friend and one of my closest) which is totally fine, we're just friends and I'd love hanging out with them both.
Back to the present, I suggested doing something a couple weeks ago and she said something to the effect of "I would love to! I was just thinking we should." Who knows if she was actually just thinking that, but I'm going ok, bit different change of tone. She also never suggested inviting anyone else.
I ask what she wants to do and she lists some of the usual ideas (being open to anything) like ice cream, movie, bowling, etc. but there was one thing that caught my eye.
She suggested going for a drive.
Again, I'd say we're pretty good friends so I didn't think too much of it. Being the spring with how beautiful it is right now (but still a bit chilly, at least here) I say that a drive would sound nice, where should we go?
She lists some ideas including, getting some food to take, driving somewhere and just sitting.
Now I'm a little shocked and this is where I'm getting kinda confused. She's a very laid back person so I wouldn't be surprised if she literally just wanted to hang out and go watch the sunset or something. But she never asked to invite anyone else and now she's saying we should go for a drive and just sit???
Can you guys give me your thoughts on this? I know it's hard being as you don't actually know her and this is kinda interpreting her train of thought, but I have no idea where she's going with this so I'm not sure what to do other than go thru with it and see what happens.
Sorry this was so long, but I felt like I needed to add context
Thanks to anyone who read all that😅

Hi all UPN/Pre-Nursing people! I just wanted to write out some tips on how to look best on your NursingCAS applications for your goal starting semester. This is a pretty detailed guide with some good calculations to determine other scores beyond just the basic impaction score. This also provides some resources for your TEAs that I found most useful. This guide is directed towards those applying to SJSU especially those on the Pre-Nursing Track at SJSU.
Don't flop your first semester: It is true that the first semester of college has a learning curve, but it is still important that you stay focused and maintain a high GPA. For many this is the easiest semester, but don't be fooled English 1A or Chem30A/BIOL65 will bite you in the butt last second.
Aim for a high GPA not solely TEAs: As much as people brag about their TEAs scores a GPA at SJSU is much more important! If you have a 4.0 GPA and score lower on your TEAs you will have a way better shot at getting in. Take this for example: a person got 2 A- in 3 unit courses out of the big 8. This makes their cumulative GPA a 3.94 GPA. If this person applied to nursing against a person with a 4.0 this score is then doubled, for impaction. 8 compared to a 7.88. With 2 A-'s you now need to do better than 3.5% of whatever teas score the kid with a 4.0 got. Also keep in mind that SJSU already requires a 84% to even apply leaving a 16% playing field. If you get a 4.0 and a 84% a person with 3.94 needs to get a 87.5% on their teas!

• BE ADVISED EVERY SINGLE POINT COUNTS!
• Realistically you are okay and should not flip out with a 3.94 GPA to this is just being used as a clear example. Just remember that if you keep a high GPA that you are saving yourself a mental breakdown before taking a TEAs.
  • Be sure to get the extra points as well if you know you don't have perfect stats. This will greatly improve your odds at getting in, especially for Fall applicants.

Don't rely on comparing stats to AllNurses: This is a hot take, but hear me out; 60 kids get into SJSUs nursing program and maybe 10 people post their stats on AllNurses. I am throwing no shade saying this, but these are the people that are for the most part going to get in. Some claim to have 4.0 GPAs, 98 TEAs, 2000hrs of Healthcare experience, and co-reqs done too. Obviously they are going to get in but, that spot is now taken from a person bringing it down to 59 others. It is nice to have a comparison to, but unless more people post on it people are going to have skewed to the right opinions. There are tons of applicants and there are different groups of people apply. The overachievers, the average, and the prayers. Most people are average and do not have the crazy stats these people have. There are some people that do post stats that are more relevant to compare to such as a 4.0 with an 88% or something like that. Again this is highballing and it is important to really dig deep into who got accepted when using this platform. A 92% TEAs is what even the pre-nursing advisors and these guys want you to drop the major. Do realize that if you have a lower GPA you will need a higher TEAs. Doing this calculation [20(4-(current GPA))*3] will tell you what you need in comparison to a 4.0 GPA.

• Here is an example with a 3.8GPA [20(4-3.8)*3] = [20(.2)*3] = 4*3 = 12, this means (excluding extra points), you need to score at least a 96% if a kid with a 4.0 got a 84% on their TEAs.
  • For understanding the 20 comes from the calculation 10 (to make the solution a whole number) multiplied by 2 (because the GPA is multiplied by two in the impaction score calculation) and the 3 comes from the fact each .1 of a GPA equates to 3% of a persons TEAs score (1/30 = .033333*3 = .1). The 20 contains the multiplication factor of 2 already so we don't need to multiply 3 by 2 as well.

The minimum GPA and TEAs: Yes it is true that if you do have a pretty poor GPA (3.3-3.4) and don't have the TEAs to make up for it then it is probably unlikely you will get into the program. But, at this campus the stats are never posted for who gets in and during which semester. Recently SJSU raised their TEAs from a 78% all the way up to a required 84% which to me is crazy high! I assume this is to cut down the amount of applicants and in turn this makes the TEAs pretty irrelevant to the total stats. With only a 16% max gap, now any person who is able to apply to nursing must have at least that score making the GPA that much more important. If you have a 3.9 GPA and a 94 on your teas, a person with a 3.8 will still get outcompeted regardless of TEAs score. This is most likely why the GPA was lowered for nursing and is now a 3.3 instead the previous 3.4 because some kids may have done well in the GPA aspect and messed up their TEAs. Aim for a higher GPA but do realize that a lot of kids do manage to get really good GPAs that correlate with good TEAs scores. Get a good GPA, 3.8 and above is pretty good, a 3.9+ is quality work for both Fall and Spring semesters, and make sure to aim for higher than the TEAs threshold.Nursing advisors deter people from applying but, it is accurate that as of Fall 2024 that you have to be at the top to get in. Keep in mind that there are 500+ applicants and only 60 get in that is only 12% of the applicant pool. You need to aim for the 80th percentile at the minimum to be on the waitlist first round (beating 400 other applicants)
TEAs Test: Now I know I have talked a lot about the importance of the GPA, but regardless you still do want to do well on the TEAs. Your TEAs score, like I talked about above, is directly related to your GPA. If you got a lower GPA you need a high TEAs and if you got a high GPA you can slack on the TEAs score. If you have a low GPA this will make or break the odds of getting in and every 3% on the test you get a .1 point increase. Going against what I think everyone I have ever talked to has said, for me personally I say take the TEAs online, if that is still an option. Not only can you take the test literally whatever day you want, you can also take it at whatever time of that day you selected as long as a proctor is available. Some argue that the they test better when in a school environment and this is valid, but I also test better in those environments and I bombed my first TEAs due to nerves. When I took it online the only stressors were if the test were to crash or the proctor flagged my exam for no reason, but neither of those happened not even close. The low stress of being at home and taking the test when I wanted to allowed for much better results and comfort. You get to finish the sections when you want. If you think you are done and don't want to triple check your answers to save the brainpower for later sections you get that option. Take the test where you think you will test best though and take these words with a grain of salt. I just wanted to say that the TEAs online is the same content as it is in person and at the leisure of your home. Not many people talk about how the TEAs online is positive for some people!
Get the extra points if you can: The extra points are pretty easy to get at SJSU especially as commuters. Of course nobody can make themselves a first generation student, but if you are that is easy free points and congrats. No one has a clue what SJSU gives as a "bump" to an applicants score and it is honestly only there because everyones stats are so similar so they need more tie breakers. Granted, you will most likely want to win the tie breaker and in order to do you have to at least have all the co-reqs done. I want to be straight up and say I think the vast majority of students have these all completed prior to applying for the Fall because you have an extra semester (maybe not Spring idk). So make sure to have these all completed so you are not left behind and waste an attempt in the SJSU applicant pool(unless you have great stats t or have healthcare hrs instead then just apply). You only have 2 attempts at applying to nursing at SJSU so make them count. If you can, there is also the healthcare hours bump. This is a bump isn't achieved by all applicants and could help if you have lower stats. Keep in mind that this usually involves volunteer work once a week for 4hr shifts so you will be wherever you choose to stay for about 6 months (decent time commitment with school). I've heard that the healthcare hrs are pretty lenient about what exactly you did as long as it is part of the healthcare field and you can get it signed. Of course if you already have had a health job within 3 years this is a free point bump too!
Spring semester isn't as easy to get into as it once was: SJSU changed this policy. In 2023 only transfer students can apply for SJSU fall semester cohorts, no longer accepting post-bacs. Whereas spring semester cohorts will accept post-bacs and no longer accept transfer students. This means that Fall semester likely is getting more difficult to get into as all transfer students have to apply for the same cohort. It is believed that the School accepts a bunch of SJSU students and after the initial acceptance everyone on the waitlist is combined meaning more transfers will get in from the waitlist process as they may not have made the original cut with the SJSU students bump. This would also mean there are less opportunities for SJSU students to get in during the spring cohort as they battle against stronger transfer candidates. As for transfers, in Fall there are more opportunities to get in as more are accepted initally and through the waitlist process. For post-bacs the same process is in place but, since the top UPN students (because they were following the exact track) were picked out for Fall stats could be a little lower. Regardless, Fall semester cohorts I would assume have slightly higher impaction scores from all areas that are applying as most students took their time throughout all the courses and UPN program students are all expected to apply for Fall semester. Take this all with a grain of salt since again there are no exact numbers of all that get accepted as transfers and post-bacs and if these numbers have increased because of this change.
Remember your overall GPA prior to applying does matter: Your overall GPA does matter when applying for nursing at SJSU! When it comes to tiebreakers if everything is the same - the gpa, the teas, and the extra points - the school will look at overall GPAs to decide who gets in. So make sure to get good grades in that moral issues class freshman year because it will come back to haunt you if you don't get in because of it.
Don't Break down!: It is easy to read all of this and think that you are screwed, but it is important to remember that many people are in the exact same situation. We are not all getting 4.0s and 92s on our teas like our advisors tell us we need. Expect A-'s and a B+. No stats are published and nobody knows for sure what you need but the advisors say people get "mostly a's". Aim for the highest impaction score that you can get and don't slack on it because literally that is what is determining if you get in or not.

• As a SJSU student you have 2 opportunities to get in, once in Fall (a little more difficult as most SJSU students are on track so there are more of you) and Spring (a little easier just because there are less Pre-Nursing majors applying). So if you don't get in for the Fall and your stats are good, you have a great chance in the Spring
  • PS if you do get declined for the Fall get all the extra bumps you can and if you still have one more TEAs opportunity, TAKE IT AGAIN! If you get waitlisted for Fall there is a really good chance you will get in for Spring as the people you were originally going against are gone.

Waitlist: If you get waitlisted it really is not the end of the world. Most schools send out acceptance letters in two waves one at the beginning/mid of April and at the end of April where people accept of decline their schools. SJSU keeps a long waitlist because a lot of people drop the school for more local schools/bigger name schools so never lose hope. I've heard stories of people being #70 on the waitlist and still getting in. (FYI you have to contact someone to check if you were waitlisted you will not get any notice of what is taking so long for your acceptance. only when you are on the waitlist can you contact staff about your placement. Staff will not tell you where you are if you are not emailed by Nursing that you are on the waitlist.)

• If you are immediately declined from the school, that means that currently they were unable to offer you a seat. However, this does not mean that you are out yet. The school has an original waitlist and if that gets ran though they create another backup waitlist in case more students drop in the summer. This contains around 12 more students and you could be apart of this group.

EXTRA Info:

• Nursing Apps open January 17th for Fall and August 17th for Spring and they both close on the 15th the following month
• If you are a current SJSU student you do not need to apply for SJSU again prior to applying
• However many units a course is will impact your GPA differently (more units means more of your GPA)
• You get about One Week to accept SJSU. SJSU is one of the latest schools to send out acceptance letters so be prepared to wait. 8 Weeks after the deadline is when acceptance letter should begin to roll out.
• Acceptances are sent out around April 10th for Fall and November 10th for Spring.

TEAs Studying TIPs:

• DM me if you want a google doc with TEAs information (it won't let me put it here) it provides, in my opinion, the best ways to study for the TEAs. For me personally I only received a 93.3 but, if I had realized how vital one of the sources before I took the test the next day, I would have performed even better! Please give this a look. If you dont want you I'll put the order of importance here without links
  • 1 Quizlets, #2 the ATI website, #3 Miscellaneous Prep Tests (I provide links in the doc), #4 PocketPrep

Application Assistance:

• Submit all documents separate from each other
• The application pool is Not Rolling meaning you can apply at any time before the deadline and still not be penalized
• Whatever work experience you have will not change the size of the score bump i.e a hospital volunteer will get the same size bump as a person with a CNA.
  • You also do not need any letters of recommendation and don't need to fill out any extra information on the NursingCAS website for SJSU specifically. They will not read any paragraphs that are not relevant to you getting accepted.
• AP credit does not affect the GPA it is solely for credit. If the AP course is not listed on your transcript then you must submit a form proving you passed the exam in the "other" section.
  • Make sure that all your documents that need to be there are there and they will be seen and accounted for. Regardless of where you put the documents the will show up on the application.
• Download you application prior to submitting your application (they will let you do this after you finished all the documents uploading and are preparing to finalize). Look over everything to ensure it's all correct.

I know this whole process is stressful and pretty terrifying, but everyone has a chance. This is just what I have learned throughout the whole process and hopefully it will help others that have 0 clue what is going on. Although some of this may make it seem like you need to have crazy high stats I am just trying to say do your best. If SJSU ever posts the stats for accepted applicants this would a be a different story. This is a CSU so unfortunately this application does follow the "a single number means everything" this means your impaction score is who you are; not necessarily how well rounded you may be. Good luck to all future nursing applicants and congrats.
"Congratulations! This email is to inform you of your provisional acceptance to The Valley Foundation School of Nursing at San José State University" Fall
You can DM if you have any questions.

Until I started subtitling the audiobook, I never considered reading the English version of LOTM. To my surprise, the quality of the English translation seems somewhat 'disrespectful' to the original book. With the money Qidian made from it, they should have hired at least one English literature graduate, if not three English literature professors, to proofread it.
Even though I'm not a native English speaker, I couldn't resist the urge to translate some parts in my own way. One thing led to another, and now I have a brand new translation of Chapter One.
Now, I have a question for my fellow fans of LTOM:

• Do you think this is a much better translation that you would like to wait and use it for subtitling LOTM's audiobooks? Or
• Do you feel the difference is so minimal that you'd prefer me to use the original translation so I can release subtitled audiobooks faster?

Here is another thread of mine discussing subtitling LOTM's audiobooks: https://www.reddit.com/LordofTheMysteries/comments/1csz252/dramatized_audiobooks_with_english_subtitles/, in case you're interested.

Ouch!
Ow…ouch!
Ow…my head is killing me!
The fantastic yet surreal dream surrounded by whispering and murmuring shattered away instantly, Zhou Mingrui who was sound asleep felt an abrupt throbbing pain deep inside his head, as if his head were ruthlessly clubbed. No, it felt more like something sharp penetrated his temple, followed by twisting and stirring.
Feeling disoriented, Zhou Mingrui wanted to turn around, clutch his head, or sit up. Yet, unable to move his hands or feet, he felt like he had lost all control over his body.
Looks like I’m still in some sort of dream, didn’t really wake up… Moments later, I might even think I'm fully awake, only to realize I'm still asleep… Familiar with such experiences, Zhou Mingrui tried desperately to concentrate, hoping to break free from the grip of darkness and disorientation.
However, trapped between wakefulness and sleep, the willpower was as elusive as smoke, difficult to control and concentrate. Despite his efforts, his thoughts kept wandering wildly, with all sorts of ideas coming and going.
How could I suddenly have a headache out of nowhere in the middle of the night?
Especially one which hurts so badly!
Could it be something like a cerebral hemorrhage?
Damn, am I going to die at such a young age?
Wake up! Wake UP!
Huh? Doesn't feel as painful now? Although it still feels like a blunt knife is cutting through my brains…
Sure thing is, I won’t be able to fall asleep any more. How am I supposed to show up for work tomorrow?
Why even bother going to work? This is a legitimate headache, perfect for time off! And no need to worry about the manager's grumblings.
Put it this way, it’s not so bad after all. Yea, free time off for me!
In between the waves of throbbing pain, Zhou Mingrui gradually accumulated a sense of elusive strength. Finally, with a determined effort, he straightened his back and opened his eyes, breaking free from the state of half-sleep and half-wake.
His vision was blurry at first, then tinged with a faint crimson hue. In his line of sight, Zhou Mingrui saw a sturdy wooden desk, upon which lay an open notebook. The papers were rough and yellowed. Where the title supposed to be, there was a sentence written in strange characters, with eye-catching thick, dark ink that seemed ready to drip.
To the left of the notebook, along the edge of the desk, was a stack of seven or eight neatly arranged books. On the wall to their right, were grayish-white pipes inset into the wall, with wall lamps at their ends.
The lamps had a classical Western style, about half the size of an adult's head. It featured a transparent inner layer made of glass and an exterior grid made of black metal.
Diagonally beneath the unlit lamp, was a black ink bottle shrouded in a pale red glow.
On its embossed surface was a blurry angel figure.
In front of the ink bottle and to the right of the notebook, lay a dark-colored pen with a fully circular body. Its tip shimmered with a faint glint while its cap rested right beside a brass revolver.
A gun?
A revolver?
Zhou Mingrui was completely taken aback. Everything in front of him felt absolutely alien, nothing looked like his own room.
Shocked and confused, he came to the realization that the desk, the notebook, the ink bottle, and the revolve were all coated with a layer of crimson “veil” from the light shining through the window.
Without realizing what he was doing, he raised his head, looking up bit by bit.
In the midair, beyond the heavy smooth darkness, hung a crimson full moon, glowing silently.
Hiss… Zhou Mingrui felt inexplicably horrified, as he stood up abruptly. However, before he could fully straighten his knees, a throbbing pain struck his head, draining all his strength. He fell, with his buttocks slammed heavily back onto the burly wood chair.
The pain didn’t stop him for a moment. Zhou Mingrui popped up, turned around in a fluster, and began examining his surroundings.
The room was not big, with a brown door on both of his sides. Against the wall in front of him, was a wooden bunk bed. Between the bed and the door to the left was a cabinet with two opposing doors and five drawers beneath them.
Next to the cabinet was a pipe of the same grayish-white, inset into the wall at the height of a person. What distinct it is that it connected to a strange looking mechanical device, which had a few of gears and bearings exposed here and there.
Items resembling coal stoves, sat in the right corner of the room near the desk, along with some kitchenware such as soup pots and iron pans.
Through the right door, was a dressing mirror with a couple of cracks, standing on a wooden base emboss with simple plain patterns.
While looking around, Zhou Mingrui noticed himself in the mirror, the present him.
Dark hair, brown eyes, wearing a linen shirt, slim, average-looking features and a rather deep outline…
Hiss… Zhou Mingrui grasped the situation immediately as many helpless and confused thoughts surfaced in his mind.
The revolver, the classical European style decorations, as well as the crimson moon that looked nothing like Earth's moon—all of them were screaming the exact same thing.
Who am I?
C-could I have transmigrated?
Zhou Mingrui's mouth slowly opened wider and wider, bit by bit.
He had grown up reading web novels, even fantasized about such scenes from time to time. However, the fantasy was incredibly difficult to accept now that he found himself in one.
Classic "Talk? Yes, yes! Action? No, no!", isn’t it?
In less than a minute, Zhou Mingrui had already started to sarcastically critique, attempting to make the best of whatever situation he found himself in.
But for the throbbing headache forcing him to think fast and sharply, he would for sure be convinced that he was dreaming.
Easy, easy, easy…taking deep breaths, Zhou Mingrui was trying really hard to make himself to calm down.
Just as his mind and body began to relax, pieces of memories started to flush, slowly flooding into his consciousness.
Klein Moretti.
A citizen of the City of Tingen, Awwa County, Loen Kingdom in the Northern Continent
Recently graduated from the Department of History at Khoy University…
His father was a sergeant of the Imperial Army, who had sacrificed his life during a colonial ware with the Southern Continent. His bereavement allowance made it possible for Klein to study at a private literature school, paving the way for his admission into university…
His mother was a devotee of the Evernight Goddess, who passed away the year Klein passed the entrance examinations to Khoy University…
He also had an elder brother and a younger sister, living together in a two-bedroom apartment.
Their family was far from wealthy, and its financial situation could even be described as somewhat strained.
Currently, the family was supported solely by the elder brother who worked as a clerk at an import and export company …
As a college graduate majored in history, Klein was proficient in the ancient language of Feysac, considering the origin of all languages in the Northern Continent, as well as the language of Hermes, which was commonly found in ancient mausoleums and often associated with sacrificial scenes and praying rituals.
Hermes?!
Zhou Mingrui's mind started to race as he reached out to rub his throbbing temples.
He cast his gaze toward the desk at the opened notebook, but to realize that the strange looking characters on the yellowed paper started to look somewhat familiar, then increasingly recognizable, and finally comprehensible.
It was a statement written in Hermes!
The thick, dark ink, seemingly ready to drip, read:
“Everyone will die including me myself!”
Hiss! Zhou Mingrui felt inexplicably horrified. He instinctively leaned back, attempting to escape away from the notebook, and the ominous statement on it.
Being so weak, he almost fell down, but managed to extend his hands in a fluster to grasp the edge of the desk.
He felt that air around him air started to roar, filled with faint whispering and murmurings. It felt just like listening to horror stories told by elders when he was young.
He shook his head, telling himself that all these were nothing but an illusion. Getting back onto his feet, he looked away from the notebook while still breathing heavily.
This time, his sight landed on the shimmering brass revolver, immediately realizing something unexplainable.
With Klein's social status, in what universe he would have the money or access to buy a revolver?!
Zhou Mingrui couldn't help but furrow his brow. Deeply puzzled, his eyes were caught by a reddish handprint at the edge of the desk, which was even darker than the moonlight, as well as thicker than the “veil”.
It was a bloody handprint!
A bloody handprint?
Zhou Mingrui instinctly flipped his right hand, that was pushing against the edge of the desk. Looking at it, he saw his palm and fingers covered in blood.
In the meaning time, the throbbing pain was getting a little bit better, yet didn’t go away, binding him like one tie after another.
Did I smash and injure my head? Zhou Mingrui guessed as he turned around, walking towards the cracked dressing mirror. After just a few of steps, a medium build figure of dark hair and brown eyes appeared clearly in front of him. The person had a distinct scholarly air to him.
Is this the present me?
Klein Moretti?
Zhou Mingrui was stunned. The poor lighting of the night obscured his vision, preventing him from clearly discerning something he had noticed. He continued forward until he was just a step away from colliding with the mirror.
Illumined by the crimson veil-like moonlight, he turned his head and began to examine the side of his forehead. A clear reflection appeared in the mirror. There, no his temple, was a grotesque wound with burn marks around the edges, blood staining the surrounding area. Grayish-white brain matter was slowly seeping out from within.

Hello folks!
I am 23 y/o, female, about 102-108lbs (will based off my week), and 5'2.5 in height.
I started on Vyvanse in January of this year on 20mg, then about 2 weeks it stopped working. I got the initial jitte anxiety everybody talks about but then it died down quick. It was horrible but I'm glad I waited it out because the clarity I got was unmatched!
I asked for 30mg soon after, because I would go back to dozing off and being disorganized. Actually, I had such a crappy year and without Vyvanse I would not have survived or gotten so much done. Even so, I still struggled to get everything done because it was humanly impossible.
Later, the 30mg stopped working also about 2 weeks in, during an important exam too! I had to sit and accept I was going to get a bad grade and spent the time listening to the guy sniffing constantly 'cause his nose was runny. Completely destroyed my focus, but wouldn't have if my meds worked.
So then it turned into 40mg which I've been on the longest because its worked the longest. It started to be less effective on some days, but still helped my mind be quite and kept my anxiety and impulsivity in control all day long. I learned periods, sugar, and not enough protein makes it not work. Also accidentally discovered zinc helps me gain that clarity from Vyvanse like it did early on. I was not sleeping or eating well, but I have been very diligent to fix it.
Now, even when I am doing all the right things that I spent months tracking to see what works and what doesn't, today it worked for a little as I was literally having my breakfast, but then it stopped. I got terrible 'adhd anxiety' which is how the impulsivity from adhd manifests in my body. Right in the middle of my chest. I felt absolutely awful. I am not on my period or even near my period as well. Why is this happening? Why is it not consistent?
I asked my doc if she thinks 50mg is a good idea about 2 weeks ago so I can have this consistency and I just want to test it out, she said she doesn't feel comfortable. I agreed with her considering 40mg sounds like a lot for a person with my size.
I need it to work not just so I can get work done, but to control my anxiety. I went back to having no self esteem and not being able to talk to people. Vyvanse helps with all of this, but especially staying calm and being able to focus. I have had about 30% of motivation recently, and that's on my best days. Is it the wrong medication even if it's worked before? Or just not the right dose? She suggested Fouquet, but I'm not sure I like the 16 hours effect and people say it doesn't give them energy which I absolutely need! I used to rely heavily on caffeine for energy, but when I am on vyvanse and when it's working I naturally just don't drink it.
I also eat better and healthier. But when it doesn't I really struggle. I know it's a long post but I'm trying to not miss anything and I really need help. I am terrified of this continuing because I don't want to have to go through University like this when I experienced what it's like doing things so effortlessly with medication when they're effective.
Thank you!

First time posting here. I have seen many of Dr. K’s YouTube videos and I’ve had something on my mind so I figured it wouldn’t hurt to share my thoughts here because I feel like I don’t have anyone to talk to this about. Writing is not my strongest subject, so please bare with me as I try to get my thoughts typed out in a coherent manner.
For a little background, I am 24 M and I just graduated with an associates in cyber security. 90% of my free time consists of me sitting in front of my pc playing video games, but I don’t let it interfere with school or work. I work as a servebartender and have been at the same restaurant for 3 years and I plan to stay there until I can get my foot in the door somewhere using my degree. I have a small social circle consisting of my high-school friends and a select few of my co-workers that I occasionally hang out with.
Now, there is this one girl (22) I work with who has been there longer than I have. Ever since I’ve started we have been friends and she’s been a joy to be around. She always puts others before herself and is very sweet to everybody. She brightens everyone’s day as soon as she walks through the door. It wasn’t until last fall when one of my coworkers told me that she likes me, that I became interested in her in that way also. I was pretty busy going to school full time and working so we didn’t go on many dates, and the ones we did were just out to dinner or maybe a movie every few weeks, and never amounted to anything. We both knew they were “dates” but it kind of just felt like we were going out as friends. We are both very inexperienced when it comes do dating. Neither of us have ever had gf/bf and we are both virgins. It was also hard to hang out at either of our places because I have 3 roommates in a small townhouse and I am kinda weird about people knowing I have a girl over. And she was living at her moms In also a small house with 4 siblings and she didn’t want us to hang out there either. It wasn’t until very recently that she moved out of her moms and got her own place. Since then I have been over multiple times and I think we really enjoy each others company.
But here is the problem. I feel very incapable of showing affection or interest. I’ll try to explain, but it’s like the closer I get to somebody, the harder it is for me to look them in the eyes (I don’t enjoy eye contact to begin with) or have any sort of confidence at all. It’s like I want to be around them but I want to avoid them at the same time. I’m afraid to put my arm around her, hold her hand, or show basically any form of interest or affection. I know she isnt going to bite and I can almost garuntee she would welcome it. Idk what to do about it and I feel like it’s unfair for her. I feel like it’s time to make some sort of move, any type of move really, but I can’t muster up the courage other than 1 time when she asked me to kiss her. Sometimes I can feel her eyes staring at me but I’m too much of a coward to meet them with my own. I’m lucky she’s been very patient with me so far, as I think she enjoys my company more than anything. I think she is somebody that I really want to get to know and be close with, and now that I am done with school I feel like I have the time and energy to do so, but I am sure not making it very easy for myself.
Another thing that I don’t understand, is that I can talk to most any other girl just fine. 90% of the front of house staff where I work are female and I have absolutely no issue socializing with them. I only struggle with the one that I’m trying to get close to..
Anyway, if you managed to read all of that, thanks.
I’m going to keep hanging out with her and see how it goes from there. I’m sure things will get better if I keep hanging out with her.

Just took my last final ever (yay) and I'm bored so I'm just gonna rank all the courses I've taken here and share it lmao.
I'm gonna rank them in order (mostly), sorted by tiers, S being the highest and F the lowest.
S TIER

• MUSIC 1701: This is my favorite class since day 1. My specific section was on film music, and it was the only class I actually looked forward to during Zoom University. Great experience, but probably limited to my one specific section.
• CS 4780: At first, I did not buy into the ML hype. Pure cope on my part. This class is great. Very challenging, but in an intellectually stimulating way and not a "god damn I want to end it all tonight" klind of way. My only regret is not taking it in the spring with Killian.
• CS 3410: Had a great time with this one. Projects were pretty enjoyable to complete, all things considered. Bracey was a great lecturer, and it's too bad she will not be teaching this again. Truly an experience.
• PSYCH 3310/HD 3300: Honestly, I had no idea what to expect with this class, I had zero psych background and just thought it was interested. Absolutely terrific course. Interesting material, well taught, not too difficult, just great all around.

A TIER

• CS 4411: I feel like I learned more about OS from this than I did from OS itself lmao. I liked the projects, challenging in a good way.
• ENGRI 1101: Took this was Professor Schalekamp the goat. A great class that was well taught. If I ever thought about being an ORIE major, this was probably why.
• MATH 3360: Best math course I ever took at this school. Taught by a great professor (at least when I took it, no idea if it rotates), and it was a great introduction to higher-level algebra.
• CS 4410: Great c;lass with very interesting and useful information. RVR is great. I have beef with Harmony. That is all.
• HD 3290: This course is this high solely because it was so easy. 2 papers, 2 online open notes exams, and weekly journal assignments. I submitted exam 2 4 days ago and I literally don't remember a single thing already.
• CLASS 2604: I took this class so long ago that I don't really remember the details, and I took it in the winter, but antiquity is my favorite period of history by far. Mythology was interesting. Got to read the Odyssey, that was cool.
• ENGL 2810 (I think 2800 is the Fall code?): Pretty easy course, just prose and poetry. It was chill and that was enough.
• HIST 2159: This was a class about presenting the Tanakh as history. It was basically a history of ancient Israel at that point. Intersting course though, but I hated writing papers for it lol.

B TIER

• CS 2800: I like math. Discrete math good. About it.
• CS 1110: Another Zoom University winner. Professor White is great, and this was a very good introductory course.
• CS 2110: Gries the goat (RIP). Good class on data structures and algorithms, what more can a simple CS major want.
• CS 3110: I don't think I intentionally put the PL courses in order, but it's pretty accurate to how I feel about them tbh. Professor Clarkson is great at what he does, no doubt. I just did not like the course content. The final project was fun though.
• PSYCH 1101: I don't know how this is an easy A course. It was not an easy A course. Interesting content though.
• CS 2024: I remember absolutely nothing about this class except that it was very easy.
• CS 4820: I am indifferent on algo. It was good, but also, I feel nothing. Probably just the final I just took talking though.
• CS 2850 (There's like 3 different other names for networks I'm not looking them up bro): This class was okay, I guess. Don't really remember anything about it except Game Theory.
• MATH 2940: I enjoy linear algebra, but I feel like all of the engineering math classes are lacking. This class just kind of exists and it's just something engineers have to take.
• MATH 2930: It was good when I took it, but from what everyone says its bad now, I guess. Then again, no one has complained this semester, so maybe it's all okay now.

C TIER

• ENGRD 2300: I have no idea how this course is when taught by someone else, but I took it with Helbling. Such a poorly taught class, my god. The labs were kinda cool I guess, but for the most part they were just annoying. At least it counted as ENGRD credit.
• MATH 1920: This class crushed my soul in Zoom University. Multi will live on in my nightmares forever.
• PHYS 1112: I just don't really like physics. That is all.
• PSYCH 3800: I took this course this summer and all I remember are the words "Actor-Observer effect." It was pretty easy though, so it had that going for it.
• MATH 4710: Probability theory has been crushing my soul since Algebra 2, and it continued to do so in this course. It was ok, but probably should've taken another probability course.
• MEDVL 1103: I genuinely don't remember a single thing about this class. I have no feelings about it. I feel nothing. I wrote some papers about fairy tales and got a grade.
• CS 4320: This class makes me sad because the material is very useful, but it's just taught so badly that it makes me hate it. At least I kind of know SQL now, I guess.
• ENGRC 3500: This was the biggest waste of time class in the entire engineering curriculum. That is all.

F TIER

• CS 4670: The material is very interesting. That being said, definitely the most poorly organized and structured course I have ever taken. We had 4 programming assignments, 2 written homeworks. We had 1 homework due at the very end of february, and one programming assignment due in the middle of march. Then, and this is the funny part, THE REST OF THE ASSIGNMENTS WERE ALL DUE IN THE 4 WEEKS IN BETWEEN SPRING BRING AND THE END OF CLASSES. Just avoid this, not even worth the time.
• MATH 4310: I have absolutely no idea how this class is taught with literally any other professor, but I did not have any other professor. I feel no remorse when saying this: Professor Dan Barbasch is hands down the worst professor I have ever taken a course with at Cornell. His lectures can be summarized as 55 minutes of rambling on about a topic, and then him saying "ok I will see you all next time." It was so bad that by the end of the semester, of the 40 people enrolled, only 5 actually showed up to class. One time it was literally just me alone with him for like 20 minutes while he just awkwardly lectured to one person. His teaching aside, his exams were ridiculous, and homework was equally stupid. We also had an "Independent Study" to do, which only had incredibly vague guidelines and he barely gave any guidance on it. In all, yeah this is the worst class I've ever taken by far.

Basic stuff: ORM, Gpa: 3.92, Mcat: 520, Majored in ECE, minored in physics (concentrated in quantum b/c of research below)
Clinical Volunteering: ~400 hours, Worked at a free clinic for the underserved all 4 summers, fair amount of medical responsibility like taking patient vitals, checking in their medication and family histories etc..
Shadowing: ~ 50 hours, shadowing 2 oncologists, 1 internal medicine doctor
Research experience:
1). 550 hours from a SURF program, pure wet lab cancer epigenetics research. Resulted in a poster as well as presentation at research symposium.
I also did similar research (also wet lab, but this time on synergestically targeting breast cancer pathways) with the exact same lab in high school for a summer, resulting in a similar poster + symposium presentation. Same amount of hours put in, so I can technically double the number I have above, tho not sure I should count it. However, the experience was super significant in me wanting to pursue an MD/PhD and I think it would create a good flow for shifting research interests but pls lmk if I should or shouldn’t include it. Should be able to get a strong LoR from PI
2). 300 hours from university-hosted research program in dry lab quantum machine learning with applications to drug discovery. Literally came into the project with no quantum ml/quantum chem experience whatsoever so I spent a while learning the material, as my PI didn’t rly help me make progress, so I have a lot to talk about almost every step of the way in terms of design decisions for the code. Resulted in a poster and presented research findings at a symposium. I was able to extend the results and got enough material, so currently writing a paper on total project. PI is rlly chill (maybe too chill :p) and I think I should be able to get strong LoR since I’m his only undergrad student
3). 200 hour research project into designing a novel cancer cell metastasis simulation. It complemented the labs wet lab experiments, and presented results to the lab.
4). Finally, ~150 hours designing machine learning scripts to predict pain ratings from ICU patients EMG data. Got results, but PI moved to another uni before we could formalize work into a presentation.
Non-clinical volunteering: ~230 hours, Spent 2 years on the Design team for unis Engineering without Borders club. However, didn’t have a chance to go overseas to the country we worked with (club had limited funding) so I can’t use that to talk about any sort of human interaction. I can talk about all the design work I did there tho
Leadership: 190 hours, TAed for a grad-level ml math course, led exam review and discussion sessions, which actually made me realize I love teaching
I’d like to shoot for a PhD in AI/ML or ECE (and I think it would be cool to apply quantum ml to bioinformatics, that’s why I included the physics minor) so I’m looking at programs that have a tech focus, examples being UCLA-Caltech, Stanford, Harvard-MIT.
So yea that’s pretty much my app (applying this cycle) wondering if y’all think I have a shot at top MSTPS, I know getting into them is super variable par a certain point but just want to make sure my app wouldn’t get trashed right away. What I’m worried about is just research hours, I know insane apps have like > 2000 hours. Not sure if I can use this as an explanation, but prioritizing getting a good engineering GPA was part of the reason I couldn’t get more research experience.
Also I think I could have more clinical experience, since I did just one activity, but it was a consistently done one. I’m getting a LoR from the program director and he’s chill enough where he’ll let me write it for him

30 Years old, diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis at age 28. had psoriasis since age 13. No other medical history.
Since I was about 14 years old i've had blood in my stool, not all the time, maybe like once or twice a week. I was to embarrassed to tell anyone about it, so I just made a doctors appointment on my own without telling my parents. My family doctor did a rectal exam. She told me I had hemorrhoids and that it'll likely come and go but that it's not something to worry about.
Flash forward 15 years later (of consistent bloody stools), turns out it was caused from a polyp that has been growing ever since. I had it removed but it's way to late (Cancer). It was definitely the polyp causing the blood, since it was removed I haven't had a single bloody stool for over a year.
The only reason this even came up is because I got a CAT scan to look at the inflammation in my body due to my arthritis. That doctor said she saw something in my colon, she didn't think it was anything major but recommended I get a colonoscopy anyway (which is of course what I did)
To be honest I feel like I should accept responsibility for this, looking back it seems absurd that I just accepted bloody stool for 15 years thinking it was normal. Younger me just accepted the wise wisdom of my adult doctor and thought nothing more of it.
The main thing that makes me kinda sad is that my gastroenterologist (who performed the colonoscopy) told me I had no signs of ever having hemorrhoids. Although he did say it's possible I may of had them and they went away, I'm pretty convinced I never actually had them, and that my family doctor just assumed I did.
That's basically all, I've read multiple stories of people dying because they didn't seek help when they were experiencing symptoms, I just feel frustrated that I'm dying even after seeking help that could've potentially saved me but didn't, but I also think I could've tried harder.

_ _ _ _ _
Impact and introduction
_ _ _ _ _
His first thoughts about his little predicament were that it was nothing like the anime he’d watched.
Finding yourself suddenly free falling from hundreds of thousands of feet in the sky was significantly more terrifying than it had seemed while cozied up in his bed, wrapped up in three-plus blankets and contently slurping his microwave ramen.
That said, he felt justified in screaming like a little girl. “Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit! Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit!” What was happening? Where was he? He had just stepped out of his house for a ramen run at the nearest gas station, and now this was happening. Great, just great, now he wasn’t going to be able to watch anymore anime- he stopped suddenly. “Oh, of course,” he muttered to himself, “That’s what’s going on here.” He was suddenly as stoic as a knight in shining armor as he plummeted through the sky, and he pushed the slightly problematic matter of falling out of his mind and focused on what would be important: His story. First: his name was Caen Eloso. He came from a strange other world with wondrous technology that left nothing to the imagination. Caen was what was in his third year at his school, Hansen Academy High School in Colorado Springs, Colorado, where teenagers his age were taught arithmetic, science and language punctuation before they went off into the world on their own. Colorado was one of fifty individually operating states in his home country called America, which was home to more than three hundred million people and overseen by a President.. America was located on one of 7 continents in his world, called Earth. There were a great many other countries besides America, of which he knew varying amounts about their cultures that he could give little tidbits of information about, but he figured he knew the most about Japan. Japan was basically heaven. The Japanese people were responsible for creating the best possible thing that his world had to offer, a wondrous thing called anime. He had dedicated his life to exploring every nook and cranny that was connected to the world of anime, and there was nothing that brought him more happiness than binging.
However, he figured he oughta remember some cooler stuff about Earth (he couldn’t really expect many people to weeb out with his stories without watching anime in person) if he ever found himself in a tight spot and needed to, say, entertain a dragon or something. Because…
He was ninety-nine percent sure that he had just been isekai’d.

That’s why, while plummeting to what seemed to be his inevitable doom, he kept a level head. Ignoring the previous screaming-like-a-five-year-old fit. Because, of course, anyone that was summoned to another world via falling from the sky always survived; it was kind of a given, otherwise the story wouldn’t get anywhere, duh. Whether it be due to some miraculous vitality, impossible superpowers, a one-time “safe-landing” provided by the dude that summoned them, or (and what he personally was hoping for) a rescue from some either super-shy or super-pissy elf hottie in possession of a huge rack… of swords, you pervert, that dressed in some skimpy armor (that really would do nothing to protect the vital organs, from a defensive standpoint) and who would kick off the protagonist’s harem.
When he actually gave it thought, he realized he wasn’t really all that interested in a harem, and kinda found the thought of one IRL gross. Like, did he even have to explain? But he knew that if he’d said that in an online chat with one of his internet buddies, they would definitely try to overrun his laptop with viruses. In what was now his previous life, he had had little to no experience with talking to girls, let alone “getting some action”. He really hadn’t seen the point, considering how difficult 3D girls were to handle. That said, he never really got into the hardcore otaku-type 2D obsession stuff, like buying lewd figurines and pasting posters all over your room and buying body pillows of your favorite waifu. He was just a hardcore watcher, and that kind of made-up for his lack of other tendencies. He would frequently spend 12+ hours a day shacked up in his room in 6 hour sessions of binging anime at 1.5 times speed; (he wanted to get in as much watching as possible) and that was only on weekdays. Yeah. With school. (Needless to say his grades weren’t exactly top notch) But weekends were another story, with him usually staying up till four in the morning on Friday night and then sleeping until twelve, when he would wake up and choose whether or not to eat before watching until he was told to get off, and then stuffing his fat face in the kitchen to his heart’s content. The point was, he had originally decided he didn’t want to “waste time” on a girlfriend. (Not that he was exactly confident he would be on anyone's radar if he were to try)
Anyways, more and more, (before he found himself falling from the sky of his new world) Caen had found himself feeling lonelier and more depressed as time went by, and so, he decided that in his new life he was going to quit his otaku and introvert tendencies and find the love of his life in what was to be his new world. Quite the goal.
With his mind made up, (this was some relatively quick thinking given the situation; he’d been falling for about four and a half minutes before coming upon this decision and entirely giving up on his old world and everything he had loved in it) (Besides his love of anime) he realized something… interesting. He hadn’t noticed it due to being lost in thought and not being capable of feeling it (probably his magical protection or something that came with being summoned), but he was currently a ball of flame. If he had been wearing clothes earlier during his fall, and he hadn’t actually bothered to check because of his little fit, they were long since burnt to a crisp. Even though he was certain he had a grasp on the situation, he couldn’t stop himself from freaking out just a little bit, especially as he felt himself growing closer and closer to the ground. ‘Alright, you can rescue me now,’ he muttered to himself, though his words were lost to the wind. His eyes widened. He realized he was too fast, far too fast. This entry was apparently going to be very flashy, which he wasn’t against, but… He could hardly gauge distance before he had halved it. Twenty thousand feet, ten thousand feet, five thousand, he broke through low hanging cloud cover, two thousand.. He shut his eyes as tight as he could and pulled his limbs in tight while covering his ears to brace himself and-
Boom.
_ _ _ _ _
Learning to walk and not-squirrels
_ _ _ _ _
The sound of impact deafens him. He instantaneously loses awareness of anything else besides the sound, but somehow remains conscious, unaware of if he had completely shattered into a million billion pieces or not. For time out of mind he couldn’t move any part of himself. His ears ring and his head throbbed something awful. He could not conceive what would make him capable of surviving a fall like that. Then, slowly, ever so slowly, he opened an eye to gauge his surroundings…
He was in a crater. Caen had expected as much, but his jaw literally dropped in surprise, something he thought no one actually did. It was at least eight hundred feet from edge-to-edge and four hundred feet deep, the ground smoldering, red-hot and smoky, but surprisingly only warm where he lay (thank you, summoners). He must’ve stayed stagnant longer than he thought for it to have cooled enough to touch. He slowly pushed himself into a seated position, sitting on his right leg and letting his left arm rest on his left leg, which he had bent at the knee. He once again surveyed his crater by twisting his head around.
Quite the entrance. “I guess this fits into the one-time no fall damage category…” he muttered to himself, running his hand through his hair, making note that it was surprisingly silky. “Cause there’s no way this is a vitality thing, right? Way too overpowered.” For a minute he sat like that, until he realized that something was tugging on the back of his mind. At first he ignored it like he would a buzzing insect, but it kept poking at his subconscious. And then he was hit with it with as much force as when his sister sent him to Jupiter for accidentally breaking her new phone; that wasn’t his voice. ‘Huh?’ Neither was that. His eyes darted to the sides of his vision where it gently rested on the sides of his face. His hair. It was much, much longer than it was in his old world, reaching as far as to hang below his pecs. It was shiny and straight, and didn’t look like it had ever been cut. But that didn’t startle him as much as its color did.
Caen thought back to the fairy tales and stuff of his childhood, and about how they tended to over exaggerate the features of their characters and the objects in them so that the average kid could understand it better, with phrases like “as beautiful as a freshly-picked flower”, “as strong as a bull”, “as bright as the sun itself”, and “as white as snow”. Well, now he wasn’t so assuming that those were mere stories and not just incredible experiences from the writers, because he was witnessing something impossibly… beautiful. Because his hair was white. A stark white, with an almost silvery sheen to it. Like when you wake up the morning after a snowstorm and open your window to see if school is canceled, and the snow blinds you when you look at it because it's reflecting the morning sun. Beautiful. He quite literally couldn’t think of another word for it. Slowly, he reached up to touch it again, once again feeling the impossibly smooth sensation. It glided over his fingers like water. And then he saw the fingers of his hand. Long and slender, perfect and unblemished. He was dumbfounded. ‘Are these really… mine?’ he asked quietly with his new voice. ‘A new body was always possible, I suppose, but I thought if that were to happen I would first have to be reincarnated and grow up with it myself. Did this body… come into existence just for me when I got here? I would hate it if I kicked out someone's soul so mine could stay here or whatever.’ He stood shakily. He was tall. Taller than in his other life, where he’d stood at around five-ten, Caen figured he was now around six-two. And, what he found almost as shocking as his hair, was that he was fit. Or perhaps thin would be a better word, something he had never been before. His stomach felt strange to him as it no longer bulged, and when on a whim he attempted the stretches he wasn’t close to being capable of before, he did so with ease. He could reach his feet when he sat and stretched out his legs, and he could even easily touch his toes. He was in the middle of attempting to put his foot behind his head when he realized he should probably get a move on and get out of there. He guessed that he most likely looked like a meteor for any settlement within a few hundred miles of his crash site. He quickly tapped his foot on a particularly smoldery-looking piece of earth to test if he could withstand the heat like before. He once again found it to be only pleasantly warm. With that reassurance in mind, he decided to get himself out of the crater. That was, before he realized he’d need to learn to walk again. He fell hard and broke his fall with his arms. His muscles felt unused and unfamiliar, though the movement of his arms came more naturally than the rest. At first, his legs were very wobbly and his knees shook and moved sharply if he strained them too much or too little, causing them to buckle and him to fall and roll back down to the center of the crater when he tried to walk out. It didn’t help that it was a pretty consistently steep climb to the edge. He must have been at it for at least an hour. But the distance was good practice for him, and with a lot of rolling in the scorched earth he finally managed to get himself to the edge. The adjustment period wasn’t that awful, considering, and he felt he should be kind of proud for learning so quickly. (At least that's how he thought of it) He stood up on the rim of the crater to see exactly where he was. A pretty considerable distance away he could see trees ringing the crater site, and he decided that he had landed in a forest. The further away from the edge the less burnt and bent the trees were, from the shockwave that came with the force of the impact, he decided. He sat down, leaned back and let his feet rest on the decline of the crater. It was incredible. It felt like he’d just woken up after twelve hours of sleep, and his mind was buzzing with activity like he hadn’t experienced before. Everything was so fresh. He didn’t feel tired or winded at all, and he saw everything in vivid detail, even though all there was to see was the smoldering earth and the forest in the distance. He even tried breathing in deep with his nose, but all he got was burnt dirt and he started coughing from the smokiness of it. Despite this, he smiled. He hadn’t felt like this in ages, a thought he had believed was reserved for seventy-year-olds after getting their backs adjusted by a chiropractor. He jumped up, deciding that the first thing he should do would be to find a settlement of some sort, or at least a stream so that he could drink some water. He wasn’t particularly thirsty, but the thought of a cool liquid down his throat made him shiver. He also wanted to eat something, and decided to keep an eye out for nuts or berries in the forest that looked innocent enough. And so he started his trek. Soon he was walking on long, springy grass and gazing at all kinds of fauna that was surprisingly familiar. He couldn’t really see a difference in the trees or bushes at first, but when he plucked a leaf from the low hanging branch of a tree that looked like the one in his backyard, he saw that the pattern of the veins was definitely different, if not by much. He could at least tell that, since he had played under that tree when he was little. He also saw a lot of strange forest critters, and his heightened senses picked up on their presences like a radar. Soon there were dozens of them watching him from the trees, giving him a wide berth but for some reason following, so he still caught a few glances. Most had bushy tails and large ears with short whiskers on their little snouts, and tiny little heads that looked like those of baby foxes. The overwhelming majority were a sandy brown, but a few times he also saw one that looked blue and one that looked red, and even one that was pink, but these were always directly in the shadows of the trees and bushes and would dart away as soon as he tried for a closer look. A different species that looked like a miniature boar no larger than a bowling ball, complete with tusks, a stubby tail and hooves, trotted directly trotted directly through his path with its head held high in what looked like a show of contempt before disappearing into a bush. It was totally adorable and he regretted not trying to pick it up before it had disappeared. He winced internally as he thought of how many of these balls of fluff were incinerated in his landing. Slowly, as he trekked on, the creatures became more and more daring, darting past him and soon getting in his full view shamelessly, but they didn’t seem to have any ill intent, so he really didn’t mind. At least, they didn’t look predatory. (though he inwardly didn’t trust that idea from his knowledge of anime) Suddenly, one that was much larger than the others, probably the pack leader, scurried directly in front of him and stood on its short hind legs, its arms drawn together. It was similar to the way squirrels “stood”. Caen paused mid-step. It had some sort of presence, and its pose seemed to indicate that it wanted him to sit down so they could have a conversation. Unlike the other not-squirrels, (as he decided to temporarily call them) this one’s coat looked much fluffier and was a rich, chocolate brown, and its ears had white tufts at the ends. Its tail twitched and he also noticed that towards the tip of it the hair was also white. It gave off some sort of aura. Caen crouched. ‘Hey there, little guy. What can I do for you?’ He asked in the same voice he would use for a cute dog or other friendly animal. It tilted its head and he had to stop himself from launching at it in a surprise hug attack. It stared at him for a little longer. Then, out of nowhere, it beckoned to him with a little arm, turned, and started running off. For a second, Caen stayed crouched, dumbfounded at what he’d just witnessed, until dozens of the hiding squirrels started running in the same direction as the big one. He shook it off and decided this was supposed to be his first big event in his story, and so he started sprinting after it, because these little guys were speedy. He ran for more than ten minutes, almost losing track of the pack until he caught glimpses of a bushy tail or fluffy ears that kept him on their trail. Since his endurance was off the charts now, he actually enjoyed the chase, and took the opportunity to breathe in the rich forest aroma as he ran. Soon, he broke out into a small clearing, where he saw the leader “standing” beside the mouth of a cave. The once again shy not-squirrels all hid in the trees and bushes that surrounded the clearing, and all he could see were their cute little button eyes glimmering in the leaves. There must have been hundreds of them. He hesitatingly walked over to the giant not-squirrel (because that was what it was in comparison) and crouched down again. ‘Do you want me to go inside there?’ He asked, pointing at the cave, and turning his gaze to the eyes of the creature. It stared at him uncomprehendingly, its black eyes giving no indication of some great intelligence that secretly lurked. He sighed. ‘Might as well,’ he muttered, walking over the cave entrance. It was as dark as one would imagine, but there appeared to be a faint candle light of sorts dancing on the walls around a bend about a hundred feet in. It also smelled heavily like some sort of crushed herb he was unfamiliar with. It almost overshadowed the rancid smell of rotting flesh. He narrowed his eyes at the giant not-squirrel and the rest of the pack hiding in the bushes before walking in. There was definitely something alive in here, and from the smell, it or they were dying.
_ _ _ _ _
Elf hotties and magic
_ _ _ _ _
The further into the cave he went, the more overwhelming the stench of death became. Caen gave himself a second to regain his composure, then covered his nose as he turned the bend. His eyes widened in shock. A pretty girl with silver hair and sharply tipped ears lay upon a bed of leaves, naked save several fern leaves that provided her the barest of modesty. Her form was softly illuminated by several low burning candles that framed her. A singular giant fern rested on her stomach, covering where James guessed the mortal wound was inflicted. Her eyes were closed and she breathed shallowly, and sweat was beaded all over her body. The different colored not-squirrels he had seen earlier were all gathered there, watching her intently, but quickly turned their heads as they heard his bare feet shuffling on the stone floor. All three of them were there, the red, blue, and pink furred not-squirrels, as well as a green one that he hadn’t seen before. They stared at him for several seconds before all but the green not-squirrels scurried behind him. The green one leaned its head down and seemed to whisper something in the ear of the elf. Caen’s world slowed. Her eyes crept open, a rich, deep purple that seemed to shimmer with silver dust like stars. She ever so slightly turned her head to look at the not-squirrel questioningly, and then her gaze drifted to Caen. As their eyes met, he felt a shiver and a volt of electricity passed invisibly between them through their gaze. Her eyes widened with what looked like disbelief, and she smiled at him ever so softly. Caen felt entranced. There was something special about this girl, something so very special, and he felt a stirring in his chest that made his stomach twinge, but not unpleasantly. She beckoned to him with a finger and he slowly approached her and knelt. Those few steps, with her eyes fixated on his, and his on hers, felt like eternity, and he couldn’t break the gaze if he wanted. ‘Greetings, White One.’ She said softly, still not breaking eye contact. Her voice sounded as though it were made to sing. ‘I apologize… I… was meant to be there to greet you upon your arrival. The best I could manage was providing you a safe entrance from the heavens.’ She said sadly, and a tear welled up in the corner of her eye. He hesitatingly reached out a hand and cupped her face, gently wiping away the tear with his thumb. She shouldn’t cry. He knew that, somehow, that it was wrong, that she shouldn’t ever have to experience sadness like that. She breathed in sharply at his touch, and then her gaze softened. ‘Who… are you?’ He asked quietly. She smiled sadly and tears flowed freely on the back of his hand. ‘Unfortunately, I don’t have the leisure to cry with you. I am glad that my friends were able to escort you here and provide you with safe company, for the forest is a very dangerous place, but… more than that, I am glad that I was able to see you… at… least once…’
Her eyes drifted closed. He quickly grabbed her arm and was hugely relieved to find a pulse, ever so faint.
She is so close to death, White One.
She has been holding out so that she could meet you, White One.
She has been waiting so very long for you, White One.
She spent what little mana she had left providing you safe entry into our world, White one.
These sweet-sounding voices echoed in his mind, though all of melancholy tone. He slowly stood and turned to face the not-squirrels.
Please save our Silver Lady, White One.
This voice was deep and strained with pain and suffering. In front of him stood the pack leader. He sat just in front of the other four not-squirrels, all mimicking his position. All Caen could do was nod, even though he was dazed and had no idea how he would be able to help her at all. ‘Show me the wound.’ he declared in a voice that sounded much more confident than he felt.
The four different colored not-squirrels glanced at the leader, and, the words still echoing inside of Caen’s mind like before, he said, ‘Do as the White One proclaims.’ They unhesitatingly scurried to their “Silver Lady” and carefully removed the large fern. Caen did not react how he thought he would. He saw it and his body shook, but not with disgust, or surprise, or horror, but with rage. He clenched his fists and the muscles in his arms grew taut as his fingernails dug into his palms. Her stomach had been ferociously torn open, revealing a sight that was best kept undescribed. His voice shook with power as he spat, “Who… Who did this… to her?”
His head snapped to the not-squirrel leader, his wild, hateful eyes boring into the creature. “We do not know, White One,

Tier List: https://imgur.com/a/RjE3PTc
There's something special about this battle from the very beginning, with how the announcer is doing these hushed whispers with this ominous music playing.
"Look alive, crème de la Kremlin's arriving! Try to serve Ivan; no surviving!" Ivan saying "look alive" as we get a close-up shot of his face is an attention-grabbing opener. The wordsmithing here with crème de la Kremlin and serve Ivan/surviving is magical. The background looks gorgeous too, great use of colors. "You're a land rover; I'm a land expander! Here to hand you your first loss, Alexander!" Well this is simultaneously a top-tier boast and diss; Alexander's empire fell apart when he died while Ivan's conquerings remained a part of Russia, so he's already making a strong case for being better at the thing Alexander's famous for. "I'll school you like Aristotle; smack you harder than you hit that bottle!" This is fine. A reference to the fact that Aristotle taught Alexander and a diss against Alexander for being a drunk. These aren't particularly powerful lines, but they're functional. I do love the way Ivan's eyes wander to the rhythm when he says 'hit that bottle'. "You're nothing but an overrated lush; I'll crush ya! I'm the first Tsar of all of Russia!" Interesting tidbit that does make Ivan the Terrible seem like a much more significant historical figure than he otherwise would have if you didn't know that. Getting all the guys from the Russian battle in the background is a fun touch, even if the dancer dude does not feel like he remotely belongs up there with the rest of those guys. "You're an asshole with an anastole! I'm heaven-sent, divine and holy!" The first line is quite mediocre, and the second line is mostly just serving to build up to the next line. "So don't even try to approach the God, or you'll get a huge sack like Novgorod!" God fucking damn, this is easily in my top ten closing lines. Not only is it a clever line and a gloriously epic boast, but the line delivery. His voice is so low and monstrous-sounding, especially with how they seem to have layered extra copies of the line recording on top of it. And the visual with all the Ivans on-screen, and the versions on the right and left turning to the camera join the one in the center in delivering this wham line... UNF. I love this!
"Hey fella, swell diss." Gotta cut in early here to acknowledge how funny and iconic this reaction is. "But now you got the Panhellenist from Pella hella pissed." This line speaks for itself, it's got some of the best wordplay ERB has ever crafted. "Stepping up's foolish as well as useless, little Vasilyevich! Let me spell out the list!" Pretty cool wordsmithing here, nice setup to something bigger though I don't think what follows quite lives up. "I brought foes to their knees in Phonecia! Breezed through Gaza to Giza! Had the Balkans, Persia, Syria, Iraq, and Pakistan in my expansion pack!" This comes pretty close to just being a straightforward history lesson, there's not a ton of cleverness here. The expansion pack joke is a little corny. There's a little bit of wordplay going on with bits like knees/Phonecia and Gaza/Giza. Flow's weaker than in the rest of his verse too. The visual with the map is a nice touch. "While you died in the middle of a game of chess; you got vodka bars: flavorless!" Some competent disses here. I really like the visual of the chess board: he even knocks over a King, which is presumably supposed to represent him defeating Ivan. I think the way Alexander paints Ivan as a disconnected figure who's just playing games whilst Alexander is actually out conquering in-person is a nice way to preserve his credibility after that land expander bit from Ivan. "And what I'm about to spit will be the craziest, so go fix me a drink so I can stay refreshed!" Nothing too great here, although I do like the dismissiveness inherent in Alexander ordering Ivan to make him a drink. "Kudos! Greek for the glory I got from winning every single war that I fought." Nothing much to say, this is a good boast, it checks out. "So this will be straightforward: I'll take up this sword that I brought, and slice you in half like the Gordian knot." This isn't the most substantive way of saying he's better than Ivan, but referencing the Gordian knot legend is something. "And I'll soar to the top, like the eagle whose feather I would sport in the helmet I wore, as I swatted my many enemies; shattered them like a porcelain pot, and they'd be praying for the torture to stop!" Okay, now Alexander is just witlessly rambling. This is easily the low point of his verse. "But I would leave 'em contorted and they'd be screaming and roaring until their vocal cords were torn up and shot!" Again, he's just rambling, but I will say that his flow and line delivery starts being so awesome here that I can give it a pass. I also like how the way the music stopped after he yelled "stop!" last line before dropping into this one. "And I would holler "Bucephalus!", hop on my horsey, and trot! I win, Ivan; I vanquish! I'm an immortal; you're not!" He's still mostly just rambling about how great he is without being clever about it, but again, he sounds so awesome here that it works. And the Ivan/I vanquish is good wordplay and a nice parallel to the serve Ivan/surviving bit, so it does have that much going for it in terms of substance. Also the visuals cutting back to Ivan pouring a drink in the creepiest possible manner are fan-fucking-tastic.
Ivan concedes defeat, having actually prepared Alexander a drink. You'd think a little interim bit like this would hurt the battle in repeat viewings/listens, but I enjoy it every time. Zach Sherwin's line delivery of "I WEEP, it's all so EEEEAAAASY!!!" is hilarious. Love the way Ivan comes poking out of the shadows all rat-like as he asks what's wrong. I also dig the way Alexander's facial expression changes when he says 'queasy' and he falls down and his head moving out of the shot gives way to Ivan standing behind him celebrating and it's just so GOOD. This battle is so much fun! The "HA!!! You've been poisoned!" is fun, as is Zach Sherwin's deliberately bad acting with his final words. Ivan declares that he is Terrible and that there's no Great who could defeat this Russian, but a mysterious shadow materializes and quietly suggests a flute-busting Prussian might manage it.
What the FUCK. The flute solo! The chanting of "Old Fritz!" The bird's eye camera angle that Lloid looks up at as the emblem of what is probably his house or country or some other organization related to him is on the floor! That dapper-ass outfit! The little pose he strikes as his title card appears! This is without a doubt the greatest entrance any contestant has ever had in ERB to this day. This new music track kicks ass too. "Out the gate, first servant of state! Oblique attack tactics, ain't exactly straight!" As if he wasn't cool enough already, the king is a queen! Good use of consonance too. Also apparently this is referencing a famous tactic for battle that Frederick used. I looked up 'first servant of state prussia' and was informed that Frederick pursued a policy of religious tolerance and abolished torture immediately when he came to power. What an absolute chad. I wish he brought that up here; at best he vaguely alludes to it. "I've got creative talents and battle malice; hard as steel on the field, genteel in the palace!" These lines aren't substantive, but the line delivery is a ton of fun. And the visuals with him jabbing his cane and sipping from a cup are immaculate. "Russia's fucked up but no wonder why; with your tundras and taigas and bears oh my!" Great flow, the visuals are absolutely top tier. The line itself is competent, definitely getting carried by the presentation, but the tigers/taigas swapout is good. "I would pay a guy to tear out my eyes if I had to look at your troll face every night!" Man... why can't mediocre lines in all of the battles get such good line deliveries? Lloid is selling the absolute fuck out of this weaksauce diss and making it work. "Now, bring me my chair! I'm weary from tearing you a new derrière from here to Red Square!" Wait a minute, is that... chair... wear... tear... derrière... square... IT IS!!! IT'S A 5X RHYME COMBO!!! "Fought a Seven Years' War, I ain't scared of a Tsar! 'Cause beating you only took me twelve bars!" A truly fabulous boast and iconic verse closer.
These interims continue the trend of being hilarious by having Frederick die in his chair without the need for Ivan's intervention, which is a reference to how he actually died! Fancy that. I do think this one doesn't quite stand up to repeat encounters the way the first intermission did; the line about saving money and the little song Ivan sings are a bit drab to sit through again and again, but hey, they were funny the first time and it's still a fun performance from Peter. Pompey comes in to seemingly start rapping, but immediately gets decapitated by Catherine the Great. Poor guy. I would have liked for this to be a five-way battle and to have gotten a verse from Pompey first, but ah well.
"Macedonians, Prussians, and Romans; those aren't worthy opponents. It takes a Russian to take down a Russian. I'm Cat; I'm a cat; you're a rodent!" This is a pretty good opener, except for the fact that she's singing. Introducing singing into these rap battles is always a serious momentum-killer. She's got a great costume, though. "How are you the head of our state when the state of your head was such a crazy one? Such sick shit going through your brain that you stuck a spike through your own son!" Good wordplay in that first line, great visuals with these dancers up to chicanery in the background. "You're unbalanced like I unbalanced the European powers with the wars I waged! I brought the Russian empire straight out the olden days and right into the golden age!" That first line feels a little forced, competent boast in the second line. "I'm the boss bitch that you just can't meddle with! This whole battle's like Alaska 'cause I settled it!" Nice closer.
Ivan briefly interjects as he tries and fails to seduce Catherine with a horse. Peter continues giving the best performance of his career, though I can't help but wish we got a little more here. Feels weird that this is the last we see Ivan onscreen. Would've been nice to at least see an upset reaction to his ploy failing.
Catherine proceeds to inform Ivan that this rumor about her sexual proclivities is false: "That horse story is a pile of shit, though I do keep 'em chomping at the bit." There's three different layers to 'chomping at the bit' going on here, and that's cool. "But you're never gonna get it, nyet! Couldn't spin in my chamber of this were Russian roulette." This is pretty funny, and I think it's for sure her best line. The little interjection of 'nyet' is great. "I'm picking up where Peter the Great left off! Bringing sexy back to House Romanov!" Not much to say here. Kind of filler. "So don't call me Queen, I'm far more great! Empress to Tsar 8, bitch! Checkmate!" This is literally a killer closing line; she's referencing how Ivan died in the middle of a game of chess, as Alexander said, and years later I'm only just getting that now.
So all of these verses have considerable flaws, I think. Ivan's is too short, for as much screentime as he gets he doesn't get much in terms of actual rapping. We could have at least used a few more lines in his first verse. There's a lot of Alexander the Great's verse that is just him droning on about how great he is without actually having much substance or cleverness to what he's saying. It's his godlike FLOW that is carrying him through a lot of this. And that's a legitimate factor to consider in his performance and it does make his verse great to listen to, but I wish there were more meat there underneath Sherwin's kickass performance. Frederick the Great is the most entertaining part of the battle(saying a LOT when Ivan the Terrible is present) and his lines are probably the most consistently good, but none of them are great, y'know? He could have used a killer burn or two in there, his diss game wasn't great. And Catherine the Great... well, she sang for both of her verses. I hate it when rappers sing, it kills the energy, and when going back to listen to this battle(which is very often!) I usually stop once her verse starts. She's got some good lines, they're decent verses on paper, and her actress is obviously a good singer, but I just do not want to listen to a solid minute of someone singing in a rap battle.
And really, having so much of this battle be skippable to me is reason enough to justify putting it in A Tier rather than S. I certainly intended to put it in A Tier for a long time. But... even if I feel Catherine's verse ends up being a drag, and even if the verses that come before have some flaws that might keep them from being S Tier on their own... it's all just so fun. Peter and Lloid and Zach are all at their best, and I genuinely do think Ivan is the best character Peter ever played. I love the performances, and the visuals, and the music(mostly), and the structure of having all these Greats dying off to the Terrible. This has got to be in the top five rap battles in terms of which ones I go back to the most; probably exactly number five. And if that isn't worthy of S Tier, then there's only gonna be four S Tiers on this list, and that seems like too few. Bottom of S Tier.
Ivan = Frederick>Alexander>Catherine. Maybe a little controversial, but I do think that you could make a valid and substantive case for any one of these rappers being the winner.

Previously, on Hell’s Kitchen…
The final 10 were given a challenge not seen in over a decade, creating their own menus in the revival of Red vs Blue Menu Night. While the blue team worked together, with a strong concept provided by Melody, the red team found themselves being led by Thomas, whether they liked it or not. However, as the chefs were returning to the kitchen to begin cooking their dishes, disaster struck, as Travis re-injured his ankle, and had to be taken to the hospital. Despite being down a man, and Grace feeling shortchanged by not getting anything on the menu, the blue team’s cohesive selection still managed to impress Ramsay and his special guests: three previous winners of Hell’s Kitchen. The red team’s menu had mixed results, which led to friction between Thomas and some of his teammates
In service, the blue team’s menu had the edge in popularity, but thanks to poor communication between Grace and Carole, the kitchen ground to a halt multiple times. Meanwhile, the red kitchen managed to push out their food in a timely manner thanks to strong teamwork on entrees. With the red team named the winners of service, it was time for the blue team to nominate two chefs to send home.
At elimination, though, everyone was in for a shock when Travis, who had been one of the early favorites, returned and announced that due to injury, he would be leaving Hell’s Kitchen for good. Ramsay still insisted on hearing from the blue team’s nominees, who were Grace, Carole and Melody after they failed to come to a consensus. But with Travis’ dream of becoming the next head chef at Gordon Ramsay Steak in Vancouver, British Columbia already having come to a heartbreaking end, Ramsay gave everyone another chance to show him why they were the chef he was looking for, but assured them that he was not taking any more excuses from now on.
https://reddit.com/link/1ctwn9g/video/oifsieupww0d1/player
And now, the continuation of Hell’s Kitchen…
After witnessing the shocking withdrawal of Travis from the competition, no one was in a celebratory mood as Ramsay dismissed them to the dorms for the night. Carole said in her confessional that he had been the main one supporting her in the blue team, and now it felt like she was truly on her own. As the blue team returned to the dorms, a very upset Melody unleashed her frustration, saying that Travis did not deserve to go home tonight over either Carole and Grace, and they needed to cut the bullshit and start thinking and working as a team. Lauren said in her confessional that it seemed like something snapped in Melody tonight, as she was well and truly fed up with the drama, which definitely made two of them. Even so, after noticing that Melody was sitting alone and nearly in tears, Lauren went over to comfort her, as Melody admitted that she hated to have to talk that way to her teammates, but she was sick and tired of the drama. Lauren assured her that it had to be said, and was proud of her for stepping up. Meanwhile, Grace said in her confessional that Melody seemed to be losing her composure, and would hopefully go down in flames soon.
On the red team’s side of the dorm, Faye was also feeling sadness over the way Travis had gone out, as she admitted to Michael that it reminded her too much of her own exit last season, only at least she had made the choice to walk away, while Travis never had one. Meanwhile, another chef had mixed feelings on the sudden turn of events, as Thomas said in his confessional that Travis had been a strong chef and a good person, and while losing him would cut the competition down, he would have rather seen him go out with dignity. Ramona and Everett, meanwhile, continued to stick closely together, with Ramona saying in her confessional that it felt good to have the security of the immunity pass, because she and Everett were definitely the most likely to be nominated if service went wrong, though she admitted she would feel some guilt if he went out because of it, but this was her career and future at stake. Everett said in his confessional that he couldn’t afford to worry about what might happen if he went up on the chopping block, and was just focused on trying to help the red team win.
The chefs were still trying to take in all the events of the night, but finally, tiredness overtook them, and they turned in for the night.
Challenge
The next day, the final 9 came downstairs to find Ramsy waiting for them, as well as a detailed diagram of a cow. Ramsay explained that he still had not forgotten the disaster that was Steak Night, and that was why, for this next challenge, he wanted to give both teams a chance to prove how far they had come by preparing dishes using five cuts: ribeye, top sirloin, hanger, flank, and striploin. Thomas said in his confessional that the red team had no business fucking this up, as they had several chefs who were strong on the meat station in services, while Lauren was nervous in her confessional, as she wasn’t sure about Grace or Carole. Since the blue team had one less member, one chef would have to prepare two dishes, which Lauren volunteered to do. With their instructions having been given, Ramsay told the chefs that their time started now.
The chefs rushed into their respective kitchens and quickly tried to sort out who would be responsible for which cuts of steak. In the blue kitchen, Lauren decided to take on the hanger and flank steak, while Grace took the ribeye, over Carole’s objections, and Carole was left with the striploin, while Melody took the top sirloin. Grace said in her confessional that she fought for this ribeye and she was going to carry her team to victory whether they liked it or not, while Carole said she would’ve felt much safer if anyone else were cooking the ribeye besides Grace. While Carole still seemed undecided on which direction to go with her New York Strip, at least one chef already had her dish planned out, and that was Melody, who went into detail in her confessional on how she wanted to plate her top sirloin. Meanwhile, Lauren was working hard to manage two separate cuts of meat, saying in her confessional that taking on the extra workload could either make her look really good in front of Chef Ramsay or totally blow up in her face.
In the red kitchen, Thomas was on the top sirloin, Ramona had the ribeye, Faye had hanger steak, Michael had flank steak, and Everett had striploin. Ramona said in her confessional that she had to deliver on the ribeye, as she already had the most losses of any chef here, and didn’t need to add any more to her resume with black jackets approaching. Thomas was confident that he could handle the top sirloin, as he said in his confessional that no one still here should have any issues cooking meat, and he would be disappointed in himself if he didn’t achieve perfection on this dish. Michael noticed Ramona seemed to be having some trouble with her ribeye, and tried to offer some advice, but Ramona said in her confessional that she had to do this alone, and told him she had it under control. Michael was annoyed, saying in his confessional that this was still a team effort, and it was no time to let egos get in the way. Meanwhile, Faye and Everett were seemingly in good spirits, with Everett saying in his confessional that meat was where he felt the most at home, and if he failed at this challenge, he might as well go home now, while Faye said in her confessional that it was nice to see Everett so energetic, and she hoped his dish could match that.
With the time nearly up, the chefs put the finishing touches on their dishes as Ramsay called out the final seconds and told the chefs to bring their plates to the pass. Ramsay then announced that he would be joined by a special guest judge for this competition, who was a familiar face to viewers of MasterChef: Ramsay’s former co-host on that show, Graham Elliot. The chefs were starstruck, with Melody saying in her confessional Graham was the best, and easily her favorite judge on MasterChef…after Ramsay, of course. After exchanging a warm greeting, Ramsay said it was time to get down to business, starting with the battle of the flank steak. This round would pit Lauren against Michael, with Michael saying in his confessional that this was his first time going against Lauren in a challenge, and he knew it wouldn’t be easy to take her down, given how consistently strong she had been. After tasting Lauren’s dish, both Ramsay and Elliot had high praise, saying the meat was tender and nicely cooked, although Elliot did say he might have done something different for the garnish. Lauren was second-guessing herself in her confessional, but In the end, both judges gave it four stars out of five. Michael said in his confessional that as expected, Lauren put up a good dish, but he was confident in his as well. Indeed, Michael’s flank steak was also found to be nicely cooked, and despite the somewhat simple presentation, Ramsay said this was a great start for both teams, as again, both he and Elliot each gave it a four.
With the score tied at 8, it was time for the battle of the hanger steak. Lauren stayed where she was while Faye brought her dish up to the pass. Elliot was impressed that Lauren had cooked two dishes for the challenge, although he noted that the hanger steak could’ve used a little more cooking time, which Ramsay agreed with, saying that was the one thing holding it back, and Lauren kicked herself in her confessional, as she said she should have been able to stay on top of it. Elliot only gave it a three due to the undercooked steak, though Ramsay said it still delivered enough flavor to get a four. Faye’s dish also got mixed reviews, as both chefs praised the cook of the meat, but questioned her garnish choices, with Ramsay pointing out that the presentation seemed slightly off. Elliot said she got the most important part right though, and gave it a four, to which Ramsay agreed, which put the red team ahead 16-15. In the third round, the teams’ ribeye dishes went head to head, for which Ramona and Grace stepped forward. Unfortunately for Ramona, her ribeye was badly overcooked, and Ramsay took her to task for serving something practically inedible to him and his guest. Ramona groaned in her confessional, as she couldn’t believe she had fucked up this badly. Both judges gave her a one, and Ramsay said she was lucky to get even that. Grace’s dish got mixed reviews, with Ramsay saying the presentation was shocking, while Elliot noted that the ribeye again was overcooked, though not nearly as much as Ramona’s. Ramsay said this was not what he expected from these chefs at this stage of the game, and gave Grace a one, but Elliot was more generous and gave it a two, as at least it had some flavor.
With the scores now tied at 18, it was time for the battle of the top sirloin, as Thomas and Melody brought their dishes forward. Melody’s dish earned praise for it’s stylish presentation and garnish, and after tasting the steak itself, Ramsay noted that it was cooked perfectly, and said this dish was a strong four, but Elliot went a step further and said it deserved a five, which made Melody giddy in her confessional, as she never could have imagined hearing those words before. Next was Thomas, with Elliot again noting the stunning presentation, and after tasting, he said that these two had really raised the bar today. Ramsay agreed and said it was the best pair of dishes yet, and this time, he would be giving out a five. Elliot agreed, giving Thomas a perfect score, which he took with a calm smile in his confessional, as he said Melody gave him a good run, but he never had any doubts. With the red team now back in the lead 28-27, it was time for the final round, as Everett and Carole would face off in the battle of the New York Strip. Everett went first, with Elliot saying, after a long pause…that the strip was absolutely delicious. Ramsay agreed, also praising the presentation, and said this was one of Everett’s best dishes yet in Hell’s Kitchen, as that deserved a very strong four. Elliot gave the same score, bringing the red team’s total up to an impressive 36, meaning Carole needed close to a perfect score to keep the blue team in it. Everett was absolutely fired up in his confessional, saying this was just the boost that he needed, and there was no stopping him now. Meanwhile, Carole presented her dish, which got good marks for presentation, but as Elliot sliced into the strip, he said it looked undercooked, to which Ramsay agreed, and said it was a great shame. Though it was only a formality, both Elliot and Ramsay gave the dish a two, giving the red team a 36-31 win.
Reward / Punishment
Ramsay thanked Elliot for helping him judge the challenge, and once he had left, Ramsay turned back to the chefs and congratulated the red team on winning the challenge, in particular praising the efforts of Everett and Thomas. He then said they were in for a fun reward, as he was sending all of them off for a day of paintball, followed by dinner at an exquisite LA steakhouse. Ramona was relieved in her confessional, as she knew she could have blown it for the red team with her ribeye, while Everett was ecstatic to have redeemed himself in this challenge, as he said in his confessional that he was still a beast at cooking meat. While the red team ran off to get changed, Ramsay turned his attention to the blue team and said that for today’s punishment, he had decided to put it towards a good cause by volunteering them for community service, which meant picking up trash on the side of the road. Grace moaned in her confessional, as she said that they always seemed to save the worst punishments for her. Ramsay reminded Melody that she still had that punishment pass, and offered to let her use it. Melody replied that she was never a paintball type of girl, and would rather help out the environment. Ramsay accepted her choice and told the blue team that they too would be changing…into their stunning orange uniforms.
The red team came back downstairs, and Michael joked in his confessional that it looked like Hell’s Kitchen had turned into a prison, while Faye apologetically said goodbye. While on the way to the paintball ground, the red team talked amongst themselves in the car, with Thomas saying that no one else was going home from the red team, and Michael agreed, saying they were all getting black jackets. Faye wondered aloud who their biggest competition might be from the blue team, but everyone quickly agreed that Lauren was the strongest. Ramona said in her confessional that she knew everyone was sleeping on her, but she would simply have to prove them wrong in service. Later, the chefs arrived at the paintball ground, and Faye said she hoped none of them would go easy on her just because she was a woman. Everett joked that she had nothing to worry about there, and the team ended up having an enjoyable afternoon, with Ramona and Everett trying to team up against Thomas, but he was able to shoot both of them. Michael said in his confessional that it felt great to just get outside and let loose without having to do some exhausting punishment. As evening approached, the red team were then taken to dinner, which Everett said in his confessional was some of the finest quality steak he had ever tasted, though not quite as good as the home cooking back in Oklahoma, which got some laughs from the others. Faye said that the next winner was sitting right here at this table, to which the others enthusiastically toasted, and the chefs continued to bond as a team over their meal.
While the red team were living the good life, the blue team were working in the hot sun to ensure that the environment could do the same. While the others tried to get on with their task, though, Grace’s constant complaining quickly got on all of their nerves, as Carole said in exasperation in her confessional that they were all well aware of the fact that Grace didn’t want to be here, and she didn’t need to broadcast it every five seconds. Lauren joked with Melody that she wouldn’t mind going on that paintball reward just to take a few shots at Grace, which Melody said in her confessional was tough to argue with, as even her optimistic outlook was being challenged right now by Grace’s incessant whining. Carole said in her confessional that she and Grace were definitely the most vulnerable on the team, but as long as Grace kept this up, she was making the decision easy for everyone, and as far as Carole was concerned, that was perfectly fine. Despite having their patience tested, the blue team worked through their physically exhausting community service and, for the most part, left feeling that at least some good had come of it.
Back in Hell’s Kitchen, the blue team arrived first and tried to unwind in the dorms until the red team returned later in the night. Grace quickly became annoyed with the red team talking about their reward, while Ramona said in her confessional that she didn’t mind rubbing it in her old rival’s face a bit. Lauren said in her confessional that the red team could have this one, as she was keeping her eyes on service. As the night dragged on, another topic came up, that being Travis, as everyone on the blue team aside from Grace admitted to missing him, and Lauren jokingly said even the punishments just weren’t the same now. Faye sympathized, as she said it was tough to watch a chef who had put everything on the line and pushed through an injury go out like that, even if this was a competition. Thomas agreed and said that everyone here deserved a chance to fight for their dream, as for these chefs, it was a potentially life changing opportunity, and he knew he would be devastated to lose it. Michael said in his confessional that it was no time for fucking around anymore, as they all needed to cook like it was their last night in Hell’s Kitchen.
The chefs chatted amongst themselves for a while longer before finally trying to get some sleep.
Pre-Service
The next day, the chefs went downstairs to begin prep, as Ramsay said that this was the stage in the competition where he wanted to see the best begin to shine, and warned that there would be nowhere to hide for chefs who were struggling to keep up. With that, he told the blue team that despite being a man down, he expected absolutely nothing less than a stellar performance, and told the red team not to get too comfortable with their challenge win, as they still needed to be locked in for service. With all nine chefs seemingly read to go, Ramsay allowed them to get started on prep.
In the blue kitchen, Melody and Lauren were in good spirits, though Melody admitted she still missed having Travis here, despite the fact that the blue team was all women now. Carole said in her confessional that the ladies should have no problems taking this service, as while she didn’t mind the format change, having all girls on one team was how it was done in the old days, and it would be even better if Grace was gone. Grace, meanwhile, seemed to be in a bad mood after her ribeye flopped in the challenge, as she said in her confessional that it couldn’t have been as bad as Ramsay said, as much as she respected his opinion, and refused to acknowledge Melody’s attempts to talk to her. Melody said in her confessional that nobody wanted Grace here, but the least she could do was try to reach out, as futile as it seemed. Lauren said in her confessional that in order for the blue team to win tonight, they needed Carole and Grace to step up big time, as she and Melody couldn’t do all the work here.
While the blue team was hoping for a miracle, the red team seemed loose and ready to go, with Michael saying that he had a good feeling about tonight, as there were no excuses for losing to the blue team now. Ramona said to Everett that this was their redemption night, with Everett agreeing and saying they were going to kick some culinary ass, and Faye said it was great to see both of them committed to bouncing back and leading the red team to another win. Everett replied that Grace was going home tonight for sure, which got some laughs from the others, as Michael said in his confessional that this was the one thing he was sure literally everyone else could agree on. Thomas, though, said in his confessional that everyone being this hyped up actually worried him, as he hoped they weren’t getting distracted and forgetting that they still had to earn the win. Michael encouraged him to lighten up, as they had a virtual all-star team here, but Thomas still maintained his serious demeanor, with Ramona saying in her confessional that this guy seriously needed to get a hobby.
Ramsay reminded the chefs again that he was looking for these chefs to show him why they deserved to become the head chef of Gordon Ramsay Steak, and with that, he called out to Marino and told him to open Hell’s Kitchen.
Dinner Service
Guests began to enter Hell’s Kitchen by the dozens, as it was once again the center of the culinary world for tonight, filled to the brim with celebrities and Hollywood elites. It was not long before orders began to make their way back to both kitchens.
In the blue kitchen, they were looking to Grace on appetizers and Carole on fish to give the blue team an early edge, while Lauren was on garnish and Melody was on meat. Early on, Grace managed to successfully deliver her first table of lobster tail risottos and capellini, with nicely cooked tails from Carole along with an acceptable order of scallops. Carole said in her confessional that they absolutely needed to keep this up, as both of them were effectively cooking for their lives right now. Unfortunately, communication issues cropped up again, with Grace not talking to Carole and bringing up her dishes without waiting for Carole’s scallops. Ramsay called out for the scallops, saying food was dying at the pass, and demanded to know why the fuck they couldn’t just work together as a team. Carole did eventually bring up the scallops, but they were raw, much to Ramsay’s disgust, and Grace said in her confessional that Carole just needed to get out of here as she clearly wasn’t cutting it. Despite these issues, and an overly salty risotto from Grace, the blue team did manage to finally start getting appetizers out into the dining room, with Ramsay even praising Grace’s risottos at one point, and telling her that’s what she could do if she would focus more on cooking than starting shit with her team. The blue team did eventually complete appetizers and began working on entrees.
In the red kitchen, Everett was working appetizers, while Michael was on fish, Ramona was on garnish, and Thomas and Faye were together on meat. Everett was glad to be working closely with Michael again, as he said in his confessional that they made a good team in the last service on meat. Early on, that familiarity seemed to be paying off, as Everett and Michael worked in sync with each other on the first few tickets and got their orders out in a timely fashion. Things did get bumpy, however, when Everett served mushy, overcooked capellini, and started dragging on orders, while Michael served overcooked scallops due to them getting mixed up on their times. Michael said in his confessional that they needed to get it together quickly, as they couldn’t afford to be falling behind so early in service. Meanwhile, Ramsay wanted to know where the energy was, as right now, Everett was going quiet and not responding when asked for times, and nothing was going out. Michael urged Everett to wake up and fight through it, and Everett did manage to get his next attempt at the capellini accepted. In his confessional, Everett said he was trying his best to keep it together, and admitted he had been thrown off his game, but he was far from done. With Everett’s newfound determination, the red kitchen finally had some life again, and after Ramsay praised both Michael’s scallops and Everett’s risottos, the two of them managed to get their rhythm back and serve the rest of their tables.
In the blue kitchen, they looked fo Melody to lead the way from the meat station, and thanks to strong communion between her, Lauren on garnish, and Carole on fish, they managed to get their dishes to the pass for the first table, but Carole’s turbot was undercooked, which left the entire order waiting for her, but she was able to recover quickly on her second attempt. On meat, Melody said in her confessional that it was pretty overwhelming to have to serve all of the blue team’s customers by herself for the first time, but despite dragging a bit on orders, she managed to push high quality Wellingtons and New York Strip out into the dining room consistently. Lauren, meanwhile, seemed at home driving tickets from the garnish station, and the blue team was finally starting to settle into a groove. Melody did serve a rare New York Strip, while Carole served raw turbot, but both were able to bounce back, and entrees were soon flying out to grateful diners. Melody and Lauren once again had no problems communicating and working in sync from their stations, with Lauren saying in her confessional that she and Melody could probably run the kitchen by themselves. But it was Carole who once again held up the kitchen when she inexplicably fired off halibut despite it not being on the ticket, which got her schooled by Ramsay for not paying attention to the ticket when he was standing less than five feet away. Despite this, the blue team managed to complete the rest of their entrees, and were soon ready to get started on desserts.
The red team was starting on entrees with Thomas and Faye on the meat station, and Faye said in her confessional that with meat being a station she felt comfortable in, she hoped tonight could be the night she stood out for the red team. On the first ticket, she and Thomas managed to serve beautifully cooked Wellingtons and New York Strip, along with nicely cooked turbot from Michael, but Ramona was holding the table up by dragging on garnish. Though she eventually managed to bring it up, Ramona would continue to drag on her section, frustrating her team, but especially Ramsay, as he kept calling out for times, with Ramona becoming flustered and not responding to her team. Ramona said in her confessional that the nerves were absolutely getting to her right now, and she seriously needed to bounce back. Meanwhile, Faye ran into some trouble on her Wellingtons, as she undercooked them for one table and said she would need several minutes for a refire, though she was able to recover. Thomas also had a rare mistake as he served undercooked New York Strip, and Ramsay said he didn't expect that from the executive chef. Thomas kicked himself in his confessional, saying that could not happen again, and he did manage to serve a beautiful New York Strip on his refire. However, on the next ticket, Ramona served a pot of runny mashed potatoes, and also seemed lost on what was actually going, as she couldn’t recall the ticket when Ramsay asked her. Ramsay had seen enough and took her into the pantry, asking her what the fuck she was doing, and if it was some kind of joke to her. Ramona insisted it wasn’t and said it was just nerves, but Ramsay replied that she needed to shake those nerves right now, or he would send her out the front door, immunity pass or not. Ramona said in her confessional that it was do or die, and she did manage to finally serve acceptable garnishes. Faye was still dragging on Wellingtons, which frustrated Ramsay, but finally, the red team managed to complete their remaining entrees.
Both teams finished their desserts in good time, and Ramsay told them to clear down.
Post-Mortem
Ramsay had the teams line up and started by saying that this was still not the complete performance he had been looking for. For the blue team, appetizers had been underwhelming, but they improved on entrees. For the red team, it was a decent start on apps, followed by a nightmare on entrees. However, he noted that one team in particular had a slight edge, and that was the blue team, as despite their issues, their customer comment cards gave them a satisfaction rating of 90%, to 84% from the red team. Ramsay said that the fiasco on entrees cost the red team this service, and told them to think long and hard about which two should be going up for elimination tonight. With that, he dismissed both teams to the dorms.
Back in the dorms, the red team’s deliberations were kicked off by Thomas, as he said he hoped everyone could agree that Ramona had dropped the ball tonight on garnish. The others seemed to agree, with Michael saying it was her worst performance in a while. Ramona only half-heartedly fought back, as she said she was better than this, and knew she still deserved to be here, but said if they wanted to put her up, it was their choice. In her confessional, she said she knew that immunity pass wouldn’t last forever, and it was better to get her bad service out of the way now, than during black jackets. With the first nominee having been an easy choice, the second would be more challenging, as Everett acknowledged that Michael and Thomas both had great services despite each having a mistake, and didn’t deserve to go up, which left either him or Faye. Thomas said that he felt Faye had struggled on meat, and that Ramsay rightfully had high expectations of both of them, due to his experience and her being a past chef, so he would vote for her. Michael, though, said that he had to vote for Everett, as he was just too inconsistent at this stage. Faye seemed torn but said she had to vote for Everett, even though they were friends, as he had struggled the most of the available options. Ramona was left with the deciding vote, and said in her confessional that it was impossibly difficult, as Faye had been a mentor for her here, while she had also bonded with Everett.
On the blue team’s side of the dorm, everyone was pleased to have won service and avoided having to send anyone home…well, almost everyone. Lauren admitted to Melody that it sucked having to put up with Grace for another day, while Melody tried to get her to think more positively, as if they were winning with Grace on their team, Ramsay definitely had to be taking notice. Lauren smiled and said she was definitely right about that, and the two of them continued chatting together while Carole sat off by herself and pondered her future in Hell’s Kitchen, In her confessional, she said she was damn lucky that the blue team won tonight, as she and Grace would have gone up otherwise, and that could have been it for her and her dream. Meanwhile, Grace felt that she had done well, and could have done even better without Carole getting in the way, saying in her confessional that it would be nice to get rid of dead weight, but she would settle for seeing someone from the red team go home.
Elimination Ceremony
The red team entered the dining room anxiously and lined up before Ramsay, who said that this was supposed to be the best five on the red team, but instead, it looked like two completely different teams, and while he didn’t know what the hell was going on, he was going to get to the bottom of it. With that, he asked Thomas for the red team’s first nominee and why. Thomas announced that the red team had nominated Ramona, due to her terrible performance on garnish, and being the weakest chef on the team. Ramsay asked for the second nominee and why. Thomas hesitated briefly before announcing that…the red team was nominating Everett, due to his declining performances and up and down service on appetizers. Before getting to any elimination pleas, though, Ramsay told Ramona to step forward and had her hand over the immunity pass. As she did so, Ramsay said that if not for the pass, Ramona would have gone home tonight, and urged her to take advantage of this second chance, before sending her back in line. Ramona appeared visibly shaken as she went to rejoin the red team. Ramsay said that the red team now had 30 seconds to talk amongst themselves and come up with another nominee. In the huddle, the chefs quickly determined that Faye would go up, as she had been their other consideration. As they broke the huddle, Thomas announced that Faye was the red team’s new nominee. Ramsay accepted this and told Everett and Faye to step forward.
Deliberation music
First, Ramsay asked Faye why she should stay in Hell’s Kitchen.
Faye: “My time away from Hell’s Kitchen gave me a whole new perspective on cooking, it made me realize why I’m doing this. It’s for my family, it’s for me, I can’t imagine doing anything else. That’s why I’ll never give up on myself or my team.”
Ramsay asked Faye if she thought she was a better chef than Everett.
Faye: “...Everett is a fighter, chef, and a good teammate, but yes, I do believe I’m stronger than him in terms of consistency and leadership.”
Ramsay moved on to Everett, asking him why he should stay in Hell’s Kitchen.
Everett: “This competition is a marathon, chef. I’ve had my ups and downs, I’ve had my stumbles, but I feel like I’m just on the cusp of hittin’ my stride.”
Ramsay said he had been waiting and waiting for Everett to emerge, and it seemed like he was trending downwards.
Everett: “I’ve had a slump, chef, I ain’t gonna deny that. But I’m fightin’ through it. I know I can be your next head chef.”
Ramsay asked Everett if he thought he was a stronger chef than Faye.
Everett: “Chef…”
Dramatic music
Ramsay waited on Everett’s answer, and after a tense moment, he finally spoke…
Everett: “Chef…at this time, no, I can’t say that I am.”
Faye glanced over at Everett in shock, as did everyone else from the red team, and even some of the blue team.
Ramsay: “I appreciate the honesty. Please, give me your jacket, your time is done in Hell’s Kitchen.”
Elimination music
Everett handed over his jacket and shook Ramsay’s hand.
Everett: “Thank you so much for this opportunity, chef.”
Ramsay: “Let me tell you something, young man, you have so much passion and fightback within you, I’ve seen it throughout this competition. Unfortunately, I didn’t see enough of it in service, or just now, but I hope you can find it again, because you are bloody talented. I wish you all the best.”
Everett thanked Ramsay again and waved goodbye to his team as he exited Hell’s Kitchen.
Everett’s comment
“Oh man…when I first entered Hell’s Kitchen, I never thought I’d be walkin’ out the door like this. I thought I was headed straight for the top, no problem. Each day was like this crazy mixture of anxiety, thrills, and drama. I fought, and I fought, and I fought for my place, until, I guess I just couldn’t fight no more. I’ll always have good memories of my time here, but I sure as hell wouldn’t do it again! (laughs)

With Everett’s elimination, Ramsay told Faye to get back in line, and addressed the chefs collectively as the final 8, saying that tonight should be a reminder to each of these chefs that a downward spiral at this point was unacceptable, as things were not going to get any easier. With that, Ramsay told them all to get some rest, because tomorrow, he was going to start separating the chefs from the cooks.
As the chefs went back to the dorms, several of them had confessionals. Thomas said that Ramona was definitely a bigger liability than Everett, but hopefully losing her immunity would wake her up. Michael said that it sucked that Everett left when he was far from the worst tonight. Ramona was clearly still shaken from the experience, as she said she felt awful about Everett going home when she had a worse performance, and knew she had to bounce back tomorrow or it would all be over for her. Melody said that between Travis and Everett, watching their fellow chefs go home was just getting more and more difficult, but she knew there were still seven more between her and the grand prize. Grace said none of these chefs were on her level, and she was going to keep being herself and kicking ass in the kitchen, regardless of her team’s hate for her. Lauren said that with only four on each team, there was nowhere left to hide, and everything they had done up until now was just the warm up for the real tests that lay ahead.
​Placement
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I was always a good kid when it came to being smart, and creating things. I feel I am wasting time more each day, I have not spent time reading books, spent time doing the things Iw wish I could do. I have my final for Geometry in four days and I barely know any formulas. I don’t know what I’ve done to waste so much time and not progress anywhere. Every-time I get home I’m tired, I need sleep and I suffer brain fog, I did a job, I had a sport and I always had a burnout I have no clue why this is happening to me, all of it is so inconsistent. I don’t know if I’m even going to pass this year while all the kids around me are saying that all these tests are so easy, while I’m stuck here knowing I may just fail.
I got a 5 on my EOC for USAPUSH but I spent the whole night up studying for two days only on caffeine my body couldn’t handle it’s self well when this happened and I felt super burnt out the whole weekend, I felt sick in a way. And now it is next Friday the week after the test and I stay up still thinking about stupid things when I should be studying for my geometry EOC. knowing I know nothing and I’m not ready for it. I need advice, I haven’t been on addrall or ADHD meds for a while because my mom sees me as so much happier which I think it does make me happier but I can’t keep a consistent schedule and it’s falling flat on me my parents are telling its my fault and that I spend too much time rather than games. I decided to start taking adderall again after having a meeting with the doctor on the first of June because I need to study for my senior year and aim for a scholarship that depends on where I’ll get future wise, I feel burnt out and scared of the future and my grades and how I’ll even live financially. I can’t think straight.