Unlock the Mysteries of Your Kundali: Free Pandit Ji Astrology Consultations at Your WhatsApp

Free Pandit ji Astrology At WhatsApp The ancient art of astrology has been a source of fascination and guidance for centuries, offering individuals a glimpse into the mysteries of their destiny. In the intricate web of stars and planets, our unique kundali, or birth chart, holds the key to understanding our personality, strengths, and potential. However, deciphering the complex symbols and interpretations of our kundali can be a daunting task, requiring a deep understanding of Vedic astrology and its intricacies.
That’s why, we’re excited to introduce a unique opportunity to unlock the secrets of your kundali with our free Pandit Ji astrology consultations, available at the convenience of your WhatsApp. Our expert Pandit Ji will guide you through the insights of your birth chart, providing valuable insights into your life, relationships, and future path. In this post, we’ll explore the significance of our kundali and how these free consultations can help you navigate life’s journey with greater clarity and purpose.

1. Introduction to Kundali and Vedic Astrology

The ancient and mystical art of Kundali, also known as Vedic Astrology, has been a cornerstone of Indian wisdom for thousands of years. This intricate system of planetary alignment and cosmic influences has been used to guide individuals on their life’s journey, predicting the path of destiny, and offering valuable insights into personality, strengths, and weaknesses. The intricate chart of the Kundali, comprising of 12 houses and 12 signs, is a window to the soul, revealing the intricate web of energies that shape our lives.
At its core, Kundali is a tool for self-discovery, offering a profound understanding of our individual nature, our place in the world, and the potential we hold. By analyzing the intricate patterns of planetary movements, Vedic Astrology provides a unique framework for understanding the complexities of human life, including relationships, career, and spiritual growth. As we navigate the twists and turns of life, Kundali offers a beacon of guidance, illuminating the way forward and revealing the secrets to unlocking our true potential.
In this era of rapid change and uncertainty, the wisdom of Kundali has never been more relevant. By exploring the mysteries of your Kundali, you can gain a deeper understanding of yourself, your strengths, and your weaknesses, empowering you to make informed decisions that align with your highest good. And now, with our free Pandit Ji astrology consultations, you can unlock the secrets of your Kundali and embark on a journey of self-discovery and transformation.

1. What is a Kundali Reading?

A Kundali reading, also known as a birth chart analysis, is a profound and intricate process that delves into the depths of an individual’s birth chart, revealing the intricate web of celestial bodies that shape their destiny. This ancient Indian practice of astrology, also known as Jyotish, is based on the principle that the position of the planets at the exact time and place of an individual’s birth has a profound impact on their life, personality, and future.
A Kundali reading is a unique and personalized analysis of an individual’s birth chart, which provides insight into their strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and challenges. This ancient art of astrology helps to uncover the subtle energies that influence an individual’s life, including their relationships, career, health, and overall well-being. By examining the intricate patterns and relationships between the planets, a skilled astrologer can offer valuable guidance and insights to help individuals navigate life’s challenges and make informed decisions.
With the help of our expert Pandit Ji, who has spent years perfecting the art of Kundali reading, you can gain a deeper understanding of your birth chart and unlock the secrets to a more fulfilling and meaningful life. Our free consultations at your WhatsApp will provide you with a unique and personalized reading, tailored to your specific needs and concerns. Don’t miss this opportunity to gain a deeper understanding of yourself and unlock the mysteries of your Kundali!

1. Importance of Kundali Reading in Vedic Astrology

In the ancient science of Vedic Astrology, a Kundali is more than just a birth chart – it’s a sacred blueprint that holds the secrets of an individual’s destiny. It’s a complex map that reveals the intricate web of planetary positions, their relationships, and the intricate dance of good and bad karma that shape an individual’s life. A Kundali reading is a powerful tool that allows Pandit Ji to decipher the mysteries of the universe and gain insights into an individual’s strengths, weaknesses, and potential.
By analyzing the intricate patterns and symbols on the Kundali, a Pandit Ji can uncover the hidden forces that shape an individual’s life, including the influences of their nakshatras, planets, and gunas. This deep understanding of the cosmic forces at play enables the Pandit Ji to provide personalized guidance, advice, and remedies that can help individuals navigate life’s challenges, overcome obstacles, and achieve their goals.
A Kundali reading is not just a theoretical exercise, but a practical tool that can be used to improve one’s life in countless ways. By understanding the intricate dynamics of their Kundali, individuals can make informed decisions, avoid pitfalls, and tap into their inner potential. It’s a powerful tool that can bring harmony, balance, and fulfillment to one’s life, and is a testament to the timeless wisdom and profound insights of Vedic Astrology.

1. How to Read a Kundali Chart

As you gaze upon the intricate pattern of lines, symbols, and numbers on your kundali chart, you may feel a sense of wonder and awe at the complexity and depth of the ancient art of astrology. But, where do you even begin to decipher the secrets hidden within the chart’s intricate design? How do you unravel the mysteries of your birth chart, and unlock the keys to understanding your personality, strengths, weaknesses, and potential?
The answer lies in the art of reading a kundali chart. It’s a skill that requires patience, attention to detail, and a deep understanding of the nuances of Vedic astrology. Our experienced pandit jis, armed with years of study and expertise, will guide you through the process of reading your kundali chart, providing insights into your life’s journey, and revealing the hidden patterns and influences that shape your destiny.
From the placement of the planets and the relationships between them, to the interpretation of the various houses and their corresponding themes, every aspect of the chart holds a unique significance and story. As you learn to read your kundali chart, you’ll gain a profound understanding of yourself, your motivations, and your place in the universe. And, with the guidance of our expert pandit jis, you’ll be empowered to make informed decisions, navigate life’s challenges, and unlock the full potential of your life.

1. Understanding the Planets and their Roles

The intricate dance of the planets is a fundamental aspect of understanding the mysteries of your kundali. In Vedic astrology, each planet is associated with specific energies, emotions, and characteristics, influencing various aspects of your life. The Sun, for instance, represents the soul and signifies self-awareness, ego, and identity. The Moon, on the other hand, is connected to the subconscious mind, emotions, and intuition. The other planets, including Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Rahu, and Ketu, each have their unique roles and energies, shaping your destiny and life path.
The position of the planets in your kundali, also known as a birth chart, determines the strengths and weaknesses of your astrological profile. Understanding the planetary positions and their relationships can help you uncover the hidden patterns and themes that govern your life. For instance, a strong Sun in your kundali can signify confidence, leadership, and a strong sense of self, while a weak Mercury may indicate communication difficulties or mental fogginess.
In our free Pandit Ji astrology consultations, our expert astrologers will guide you in understanding the complex roles of the planets in your kundali. With their in-depth knowledge and insight, you’ll gain a deeper understanding of your astrological profile, uncover hidden strengths and weaknesses, and receive personalized advice on how to navigate the challenges and opportunities that lie ahead.

1. Significance of Rashis and Nakshatras

The ancient art of Kundali reading, a sacred tool that unravels the mysteries of the universe, revealing the intricate dance of celestial bodies and their impact on our lives. Within the intricate web of stars and planets, two fundamental components stand out – Rashis and Nakshatras. These two celestial entities play a crucial role in shaping our destinies, influencing our personalities, and guiding our life’s journey.
Rashis, or signs, are the 12 segments of the zodiac circle, each representing a unique character, trait, and energy. They are like the 12 pillars of the universe, standing tall and strong, guiding our lives through their distinct influences. Each Rashi has its own unique characteristics, from the fiery passion of Leo to the calm and collected nature of Taurus. By understanding our Rashi, we can gain insight into our strengths, weaknesses, and natural tendencies.
Nakshatras, on the other hand, are the 27 lunar mansions that divide the zodiac circle into smaller segments. Each Nakshatra has its own distinct energy, symbol, and significance. They are like the subtle threads that weave together the intricate tapestry of our lives, influencing our emotions, relationships, and spiritual growth. By understanding our Nakshatra, we can gain insight into our emotional inner workings, our capacity for love and relationships, and our spiritual path.
Together, Rashis and Nakshatras form a powerful synergy, revealing the intricate dance of our celestial energies and their impact on our lives. By understanding the significance of Rashis and Nakshatras, we can unlock the mysteries of our Kundali, gaining valuable insights into our life’s journey and the path to self-discovery.

1. How to Identify the Ashtakoot Guna Milan

As you delve deeper into the intricacies of your Kundali, one of the most crucial aspects to understand is the concept of Ashtakoot Guna Milan. This ancient Vedic practice is a crucial component of matchmaking and marriage compatibility, and it’s essential to grasp its significance in determining the harmony and success of your relationships.
Ashtakoot Guna Milan is a complex calculation that evaluates the compatibility of two individuals based on their birth charts, taking into account eight key factors, including the Gunas, Doshas, and Lagna. Each individual is assigned a score based on their unique characteristics, and the resulting sum is used to determine the overall compatibility of the couple.
In this intricate process, the Pandit Ji will consider the dominant Gunas, or qualities, of each individual, such as Sattva, Rajas, and Tamas, and how they interact with each other. The calculation also takes into account the Doshas, or planetary imbalances, and the Lagna, or the Ascendant, which plays a crucial role in determining the individual’s personality, strengths, and weaknesses.
By understanding the Ashtakoot Guna Milan, you’ll gain valuable insights into the potential strengths and challenges of your relationship, allowing you to make informed decisions about your future together. Whether you’re seeking guidance on marriage compatibility or simply looking to deepen your understanding of your partner’s personality, our expert Pandit Ji is here to provide you with personalized guidance and support.

1. Understanding the 12 Houses of the Kundali

As you delve into the intricacies of your Kundali, one of the most crucial aspects to grasp is the concept of the 12 Houses. This ancient Vedic system of astrology is a powerful tool for understanding the complexities of human life, and the 12 Houses are the foundation upon which it is built. Each House represents a specific area of life, from the mundane to the spiritual, and the planets that occupy them play a crucial role in shaping your destiny.
The 1st House, also known as the Lagna, is like the crown of the Kundali, representing the individual’s self-image, personality, and overall life path. The 2nd House is associated with wealth, material possessions, and communication, while the 3rd House is linked to siblings, neighbors, and short journeys.
As we move further into the Kundali, the 4th House is connected to the family, emotions, and the subconscious mind, while the 5th House is associated with creativity, children, and romantic relationships. The 6th House is concerned with health, work, and daily routines, and the 7th House is linked to marriage, partnerships, and relationships.
The 8th House is often referred to as the “House of Transformation” and is associated with rebirth, spiritual growth, and the unknown. The 9th House is connected to higher knowledge, travel, and spirituality, while the 10th House is linked to career, reputation, and public image. The 11th House is concerned with friendships, community, and humanitarian pursuits, and the 12th House is associated with the subconscious mind, spirituality, and the collective unconscious.
Understanding the 12 Houses of your Kundali is like unlocking a treasure chest of secrets and insights. By grasping the complex relationships between the planets and the Houses, you can gain a deeper understanding of yourself and your place in the world.

1. The Role of Planetary Positions and Transits

The ancient art of Kundali astrology, also known as Janam Patri, is a complex and intricate system that reveals the secrets of our destiny and the cosmic forces that shape our lives. At the heart of this mystical practice lies the intricate dance of planetary positions and transits, which play a crucial role in determining the course of our lives. The positions of the planets at the exact time and place of our birth, as recorded on our birth chart or Kundali, hold the key to understanding our personality, strengths, weaknesses, and potential.
The movement of the planets, as they transit through the zodiac, also has a profound impact on our lives. Their positions can influence our emotions, relationships, career, and overall well-being. For instance, a planetary transit can bring about a period of stability and growth, or it can trigger a series of challenges and upheavals. By understanding the significance of planetary positions and transits, one can gain valuable insights into the unfolding of their life journey.
Through our free Pandit Ji astrology consultations, we offer a unique opportunity to unravel the mysteries of your Kundali and gain a deeper understanding of the celestial forces that shape your life. Our expert astrologers will guide you through the intricate web of planetary positions and transits, helping you to identify areas of strength and weakness, and providing personalized guidance to navigate the twists and turns of your life journey.

1. How to Interpret a Kundali Chart

The intricate web of stars and planets that has been intricately woven into the fabric of your life – your Kundali chart is a window to the mysteries that lie within. Like a treasure map, it holds the secrets to your personality, strengths, and weaknesses, revealing the hidden patterns that govern your destiny. But, deciphering this complex code requires a guiding light, a sage who can unlock the mysteries and reveal the truths hidden within the lines.
With our expert Pandit Ji’s guidance, you’ll embark on a journey of self-discovery, as you delve into the depths of your Kundali chart. Our team of experienced astrologers will walk you through the intricacies of your birth chart, highlighting the key areas of your life that are influenced by the positions of the planets and stars.
Together, we’ll explore the dynamic relationships between the planets, their aspects, and their influences on your life. From the placement of your Sun and Moon to the positions of your Venus and Mars, every detail will be analyzed to reveal the hidden patterns that shape your destiny.
Our Pandit Ji’s expertise will help you understand the intricate dance of the planets, and how they impact your life, relationships, and career. You’ll gain valuable insights into your personality, strengths, and weaknesses, and discover the hidden potential that lies within you.
So, take the first step towards unlocking the secrets of your Kundali chart, and embark on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment. Book your free WhatsApp consultation with our expert Pandit Ji today, and discover the mysteries that lie within your birth chart.

1. Free Consultations: How to Get Your Kundali Read

Imagine having a window to the universe, a map that reveals the secrets of your destiny, and a guide that helps you navigate the twists and turns of life. This is what your Kundali, or birth chart, holds. But, deciphering its intricacies can be a daunting task, especially for those new to the world of astrology. That’s where our expert Pandit Ji comes in – with a wealth of knowledge and experience, he is ready to unlock the mysteries of your Kundali, offering free consultations to help you understand its hidden messages.
During your free consultation, our Pandit Ji will use his vast knowledge of Vedic astrology to analyze your Kundali, revealing the positions of planets and their influences on your life. He will delve into the intricate details of your chart, uncovering strengths, weaknesses, and potential opportunities for growth. With his expert guidance, you’ll gain a deeper understanding of your personality, strengths, and vulnerabilities, as well as the challenges and opportunities that lie ahead.
Whether you’re seeking guidance on a specific life issue, such as relationships, career, or health, or simply looking to gain a deeper understanding of yourself, our free consultations are the perfect starting point. With our expert Pandit Ji, you’ll embark on a journey of self-discovery, empowered to make informed decisions and navigate the complexities of life with confidence.

1. WhatsApp Consultations: A New Era of Kundali Readings

The ancient art of astrology has always been shrouded in mystery, with seekers of truth and wisdom often having to navigate the complexities of palm readings and star charts to gain a deeper understanding of their destiny. But what if we told you that the mystique of Kundali readings is no longer reserved for the initiated few? With the advent of WhatsApp, the world of Kundali readings has evolved, and we are thrilled to introduce our innovative solution: free Pandit Ji astrology consultations, accessible at your fingertips.
Imagine being able to tap into the wisdom of a revered Pandit Ji, expert in the intricacies of Vedic astrology, and receive personalized guidance on your life’s journey. With our WhatsApp consultations, you can now do just that. Our team of experienced Pandit Jis will guide you through a comprehensive reading of your Kundali, revealing hidden patterns and energies that shape your life. From understanding your strengths and weaknesses to uncovering potential life-changing opportunities, our consultations will provide you with a profound understanding of your cosmic blueprint.
By leveraging the power of WhatsApp, we have made it possible for anyone, anywhere in the world, to access the wisdom of the ancient Vedic tradition. No more need to travel to distant ashrams or wait for weeks to receive a consultation – our free WhatsApp consultations are just a message away. So, take the first step towards unlocking the mysteries of your Kundali, and discover the transformative power of astrology in your life.

1. Benefits of Free Pandit Ji Astrology Consultations

The art of astrology has been a revered and ancient practice in Indian culture, offering individuals a profound understanding of their life’s journey, personality, and future. By unlocking the secrets of one’s kundali, or birth chart, individuals can gain valuable insights into their strengths, weaknesses, and potential. In this era of rapid change and uncertainty, seeking the guidance of a learned pandit ji can provide a sense of clarity and direction.
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I made good friends with a 23 year old (I'm 34) and got swept up in what seemed like overt obvious flirting and became limerent so I told her and it completely weirded her out. After awhile we got to a point where we were cool again and sort of wound the friendship back to where it worked, but tonight I asked her whether I could hear her side of what happened, and long story short she told me she likes women and most people can sort of tell.
This has happened enough times where I realize I have a pattern of getting way into it with sporty, weirdo tomboy chicks who do things like not shave their legs or have intoxicating BO (I know, weird) and then eventually realizing they're basically skinny, pretty, dorky lesbians.
Sure, I like feminine women who, you know, shower, but I have a weird animal lust for these amazon gay girls and it feels like such an L to have gone through that emotional roller coaster for the third time at this point in my life. Everyone knows there's a phenomenon of women who tend to catch feelings for guys who turn out to be gay, but has this been known to happen the other way? What does it all mean?

“I can’t do this anymore” has become my mantra lately. Repeating over and over in my mind.
I really just can’t do any of this anymore. I work so hard and never will achieve any results. I don’t trust anyone in my life, and no one loves me. I am constantly anxious and I am constantly let down.
I find it hard to cope with the cyclical patterns of life and the up and down periods. I don’t want to do things anymore. I don’t want to go to work, or do chores, or work on projects, or exercise. I don’t want to eat or piss or breathe or anything. It’s all just too much and it’s useless. I don’t want to go outside and I don’t want to go inside. I’m just so tired. I don’t want to feel these anxious feelings inside me anymore. I hate every part about myself.
I know this sounds frightening, but I actually have a lust for life and want to continue living. I want to experience things. I think life as a whole is beautiful. Despite these feelings, I am a high functioning person. I get up everyday and do it all. I have good friendships. I’m doing well in school. I’m hitting most of the benchmarks I need to be. I could probably have a relationship if I tried.
I just don’t want to continue right now. I don’t want to be myself or continue to feel these things in my body. Tired, distracted, frustrated.
The worst feeling to me though is being too high. Too giddy, too energetic. It’s like I have all of this energy in my body that I have to let out, but can’t. I feel like this mostly socializing with others or when I’m alone at night.
I don’t want to be restless anymore. I just want to be calm.

My partner (29F) and I (27M) have an 8-month-old daughter. Against my wishes, my partner chose her friend (28F) as our daughter's godparent. Due to the friend's toxic behavior, which my partner fails to see, I told my partner that her friend is no longer our daughter’s godparent. The friend embarrassed my partner at her birthday party which lingers in my mind constantly as it is a constant pattern her friend has done for the past 15 years since they have been friends. This thought lead to the decision to remove her friend from our daughter’s life. Now AITA because I offered my partner $1,000 to spend with another friend, excluding the bully friend. My partner and any friend get $250, and the remaining $500 is for my daughter and her friends child/children. This is to avoid the visit with the toxic friend who my partner travels an hour away to visit where 50% of the time she complains when she’s home and wants to have a cry after which I don’t find normal.
Additional information: I have tried explaining to my partner how I see her friend as a bully and she admits her friend is bad, but still wants that connection and she doesn’t know why and neither do I. My partners family hates her friend because of situation in high school where her friend teased my partner, isolated her from her other friends, and spread some gossip to other people in her year group which embarrassed my partner. They didn’t attempt to stop the friendship though and just acknowledge it’s there.

I feel I have lost my joy in life because of my current life pattern.
Every day feels the same to me, as I have had this routine for more than 6 months now… From Mon-Fri, I work from 8-5 at my office job and then go to grad school’s classes. I don’t club, smoke, or drink a lot. On the weekends, I work at my business from 7-6 and try to get some workout when I’m off work.
Even though I’m involved in a lot of activities, I can’t really develop a friendship… I stopped putting in effort connecting with people, because whenever I reached out to invite people for dinner or lunch, I always get rejected politely. I’m not sure if I’m giving off any unfriendly vibe or something, but if I’m able to develop a friendship with someone, that’d be amazing. I just spent most of my time alone at gym, coffee shop, or museum trips😞
I would appreciate if someone could help me with some advice on this : )

Hey guys, I'm writing this post as I think I've ran into a wall/bump in my journey that I don't think I can get over myself. I've been suffering for quite a while now (~10 months) and after a long long time of barely any progress, I feel like I'm actually making steps at my goal of getting better at life for greater enjoyment for myself and the people around me. I've had to learn many different basic concepts like the different types of desire such as pleasure and duty, and that the intellect and emotion are separate, even learning about the root chakra and being able to pinpoint it allowed me to better my lethargy.
When I was young, I used to go outside to play with the other kids who lived in our street. I wasn't necessarily close to them as friends and didn't know them that well as people and didn't really know how to talk to them. I don't know why, but I made up for it by doing dumb shit and being silly like climbing trees or finding some kind of external activity and covering it up my with excitement to hide the awkward feeling I was feeling at the time, that would then haunt me for the rest of my life. I was an annoying kid. I don't remember much what it was exactly that I did but, when the other kids got tired of my shenanigans, I would just keep going as that was the only way I knew how to communicate. This ended up giving me the reputation of the "danger child" in our neighborhood (there were 4 other kids from different houses) which led to their parents not allowing me in their yard to play with them. I don't remember exactly how I felt but I think I was mostly unbothered. But I have very distinct memories of watching the other kids play in their yard from the other side of the fence. I definitely felt isolated and cast out and I think some anger as well because if they wanted to let me in, they could and would. They just had to ask their parents. But they didn't, and they rubbed it in my face too. To which I was kinda like wtf but it's okay because I didn't take it personally and had no problems 'leaving/detaching' them since I wasn't close with them anyways. I wasn't attached. Nor did I know how to form attachments.
This inability to form attachments has followed me throughout my entire life like some kind of ghost. When I first started school, at the age of 7 (I just turned 7, the other kids were gonna turn 8), I still didn't know how to form attachments. I had a few friends and were part of a friend group (there were 5 of us), and I wasn't necessarily as close with those people as I think there was potential for it to be. We all played games, there was some of us who played Minecraft but I played different minigames than them (I played PVP stuff, they played survival/factions stuff). They sometimes came over and joined me in skywars but I rarely did the same. They kept asking me to join them and play survival with them but I kept saying no. Sometimes I gave in to the pressure and ended up not enjoying it because I didn't understand the game. I only saw the game aspect and didn't even take a moment to consider the friendship aspect of the session. There was no desire in me to, and my little young grinding PVP self never knew it existed either.
This inability to form attachments lead to me being bullied for a lot of my school life where I was the 'isolated lonely kid' in classes that I didn't have any friends in. The bullying itself wasn't too extreme because I would fight back but it was a constant struggle for peace while constantly feeling out of place and isolated. Around 13-14, being the isolated lonely kid eventually led to pretty strong social anxiety in secondary school to which I dealt with via suppressing and intellectualizing the situation, constantly telling myself "They don't care, they're not paying attention to you", "it's all in your head and you know it" etc... I constantly feel like I have to 'perform' around people, make jokes and be silly etc..., to keep them close. Sort of how a twitch streamer has to constantly entertain their chat to keep the viewers. Otherwise, I have nothing to offer, we just end up sitting in silence unless I do my silly act. It's like my brain is incapable of having a conversation with somebody because there is nothing I can offer. I have nothing to say.
I realised around 19 (I'm 20 now) that an interaction requires two different people going back and forth, both sharing their inner worlds. But I always struggled with feeling emotion and exploring my inner world, as well as feeling the desire to interact and forming attachments to things. I always looked at people with lives rich of emotion, no matter if it's good or bad (sadness, happiness, excitement, heartbreak) with jealousy. I thought that was just how I was born and that's it. But Dr K has shown me that is not the case, he showed me a new world, the inner world. I have since been exploring the inner world, and I have come to realize, that I do not feel. Not as much as I'd like to. I cannot see the beauty of philosophy, the expressive nature of art, the messages from the little things in life that are shown in poetry, and I do not know why. I managed to do it once, see the beauty of life, which was when I checked out about Dr K and found a new job, the people were very supportive, it took me a while before I felt comfortable (~6 months) but eventually I ended up loving them and having a great time. That was when I worked at it super hard, and finally managed to see the beauty of life, could talk to any stranger, and felt hopeful for the future. It was through emotion. And ever since I left that job, it has not been the same. I lost this beautiful experience of life that I finally managed to acquire, the one that I was so jealous of, and haven't been able to get it back since. Thing is, I know it's there, I know the beauty is out there, so I've been making efforts to get it back.
It's been so difficult because nobody seems to feel "not neurotic enough" or a lack of emotion, and all the emotional issues are to do with feeling too much and how to deal with upcoming emotions. Fortunately, I've found and started reading a book called "The Tao of Feeling" and even though I'm a few pages in (my mind for some reason was resistant to reading the book), the quotes and the contents of the book for some reason move some kind of string in my heart. It talks about parental neglect and how it leads to stunting of the child's emotional growth due to not meeting their emotional needs. I never really thought of that as the cause of the problems in my life (because the problem is my inability :P), and I don't recall much from my childhood apart from that I didn't really have other kids to play with no matter if they were around me or not. My mom is pretty explosive and shouts quite a lot. Always mad, always shouting, guilt-tripping during discussions, never taking responsibility etc... She's known for her 'character' in the family and everyone is scared to go against her. She has multiple issues of herself but never shows any of that as she doesn't want to be seen weak. She's not a bad person though, she tries her best but the pattern is recurring. The fact that I had to deal with mom's strong character paired with social anxiety and other parts of my growing up have led me to develop a protective mechanism where I can just 'close' my heart on command. Sort of like detaching myself from a situation/person at will. I finally mastered the act of "not caring" that I strived for so much during my school days.
I've pondered this a bit and realized that all of my issues, lack of emotions, inability to form attachments, and even purpose and motivation issues lead to the same source. The struggle to see the internal world and the closing of the heart. I'm unable to tell how 'deep' a certain thought or an emotion is, I struggle to differentiate between the surface and deep emotions. Today I asked myself the question "If I start a new job, and was presented with a person right now in front of me, what would we talk about?", and nothing came up. Nothing. But when I presented the question as "If I start a new job, and wanted to make somebody feel better, what would we talk about?" And it instantly came up. I knew exactly what to do. When given a goal, I know how to fulfill it. Then I asked myself, "Why would you interact with somebody? For what reason?" And nothing came up. Again. When asking this, I got a sensation in my heart and it felt like it was blocked. There is a want inside my heart but the desire is not. I think I identified the issue but I do not know how to go about it. This is the wall that I've ran into.
My question is, how does one open their heart? For themselves, and the people around them? Any help would be appreciated and I was wondering if Dr K has any thoughts on this. Sorry, long post. But I feel like this info was necessary. And if you guys have any further questions, feel free to ask. Thank you :)

I (24M) need some advice on managing my expectations and emotions in a platonic friendship with a girl (21F) I met through a mutual friend. We've been gaming and chatting late into the night for weeks, and I felt a strong connection, which led me to open up completely—no filters, no holding back. This was my first time doing so, and I started talking about my emotions and thoughts deeply to her, sometimes without even being asked. While she often asks questions back to me whenever it is "her turn," it feels like she is deflecting sharing about herself.
Here’s the situation:

1. Full Transparency: I’ve shared everything with her, from deep personal thoughts to trivial musings, without any reservations. There was almost no holding back. I expected the similar level of openness in return but realized it wasn’t happening. I was too impatient and entitled.
2. Dependency and Expectations: I started depending on her emotionally and expected her to reciprocate my level of transparency and commitment. This wasn’t fair, and I recognize that it’s my issue, not hers.
3. Communication Gap: Our conversations often have ambiguities. She frequently asks for clarifications, and I always provide them. However, when I ask her to share, she often says it’s “meaningless” or “not important,” which frustrates me.
4. Overstepping Boundaries: I’ve been overly available—constantly checking messages, staying up late to chat, and probing into her life out of concern. I’ve realized this is imbalanced and have tried to tone it down, but it’s hard.
5. Recent Incident: I shared something deeply personal when she asked for my perspective. When I finished, she dismissed the importance of sharing her own perspective on the matter. This upset me, and she pointed out that I was unhappy because she wasn’t reciprocating my level of openness. This was the tipping point, and I am tired.
6. Fun Turning into Fatigue: At first, the dynamic was fun. I enjoyed the chase, pouting, and begging for her attention. But now, it’s become a pattern, and I’m tired of the frequent ambiguities in our conversations. It feels like there’s always something unclear, and it is frustrating not knowing what she thinks.
7. Wrong Perspective: I realize now that I started this friendship with the wrong perspective. The excitement of something new made me overly invested. I thought we had something special, but it’s clear she doesn’t see it that way. She has leverage over me because I value this connection more than she does.
8. Feeling Used: Sometimes, I feel like a clown performing for her entertainment. I’m sharing my most vulnerable thoughts while she takes no risks and keeps her guard up. It’s like I’m baring my soul, and she’s just watching from a safe distance.
9. Overstepping Boundaries: I sometimes feel like I overstep my boundaries by asking things that are too personal for a two-month-old friendship. It’s hard to hide my desires and need for a deeper connection, but I know I need to respect her comfort levels. At the same time, I feel like my level of curiosity and concern is the bare minimum for a close friendship.

I understand this is a self-issue, not her fault. I don't want to hate her or blame her. I want to learn how to manage my expectations, not be overly invested, and find a balance in our friendship. How do I regulate my emotions and not just emotionally bomb the person who just appeared in my life without even assessing if they are equally sincere or interested?
How do I stop sharing unnecessary things knowing that the other party does not really want to know or show slight interest only?
More Questions:

1. How can I become more nonchalant when people choose not to share as openly as I do?
2. What are some strategies to avoid over-investing emotionally in friendships?
3. How do I maintain a healthy balance in this platonic friendship without feeling frustrated or let down?
4. How can I respect her boundaries while still being true to my feelings?

Thanks in advance for your advice. I appreciate any insights you can offer.
TL;DR: I’ve become emotionally dependent on a platonic friend and have unrealistic expectations for her to reciprocate my level of openness. How can I manage my expectations and emotions to maintain a healthy, balanced friendship?

It’s hardly shocking anymore—people’s capacity to disappoint. I learned that bitter lesson years ago. Anticipating disappointment has become as natural as expecting the sunset around 6 PM. The real surprise would be if the sun failed to dip below the horizon.
I held no expectations of you, yet somewhere, a naive part of me clung to a frail hope. Perhaps, what you were doing wasn’t as I feared. Perhaps, I should not have allowed that sliver of hope, because deep down, I sensed the truth. You were filling a void. You were lonely, and I was convenient. You didn’t need to spend countless hours with me, share those moments, or reawaken feelings I thought had long since died. If all you needed was companionship, you would have kept it simple—just friendship. But friends don’t speak the way we did. Friends don’t share looks loaded with unspoken words the way you looked at me.
You had no right to use my attention to fill your emptiness, only to retract it all once you returned to your old lover—as if I meant nothing, as if all of it meant nothing. In just one night, everything you gave, you rescinded. Everything you took from me, discarded.
Now, you're back with her. Overnight, it's as though we never happened. And you claim happiness, mere days after gazing into my eyes, calling them beautiful. You always maintained that we could never be, that your heart belonged to her. Yet, you selfishly took what you had no right to—moments and emotions, dreams of quiet seclusions and shared days—only to cast them aside.
You've disappeared now, as if you never existed in my world. You’ve shifted realms, once again where it suits you. You're content, your intoxication with my eyes faded, your longing to hear my voice gone, your desire to linger in our shared spaces extinguished.
I am neither disappointed nor surprised. I merely observe, as life’s old patterns unfold and people reveal their true selves. I walk away devoid of emotion. I feel nothing for you, and perhaps that’s the deepest sorrow of all—that overnight, my feelings vanished completely.

Bullies, narc****** and abusers run this world. Society enables them while disarming victims from defending themselves. Hell, they PUNISH victims people for defending themselves.
You will find systems of abuse EVERYWHERE. At schools, work, HOAs, in families, in friendships, etc. You will see the same patterns in all these systems.
I'm done. The system is too deep to dismantle. Instead, I'm playing the game.
School -- I told my niece to fight back at school against bullies. And if the administration says anything, to fake cry and tell them "she's having problems at home." If bullies can get with away with abusing others because "they are having problems at home" then so can the victims. The bully gets off on a technicality? For example, the school can't punish because they already had gotten home when the fight happened. Use that same technicality to your advantage to strike back and get away with it.
Enablers -- Closet supporters/the self-interested narc******. I'm done trying to "rescue" them. To get them to repent. They will learn the hard way that sociopaths and narc**** don't have friends, they have servants. They want to be servants, they can be servants. Don't be fooled -- they are not good people who are just duped by narcs/abusers; many of them know what they are doing and that they are supporting bad people. They are extremely manipulative. Usually, the abusers will discard them once the enabler no longer brings any benefit to them. I now laugh at my aunt. She sided with my dad's baby mother over my mom and joined the campaign to harass her. 30 years later, the baby mother and my half siblings treat her like shit, left her out dry on her own once they got older. Hahaha.
Even the "good enablers" -- the rescuers/pollyanna/saints, I'm done trying to get through to them. They are always going to be victims and if you stay close to or follow their lead, you will be too. Some of them are not the good people they pretend to be. Some are extremely manipulative. And they are extremely self-righteous and controlling and will straight up try to force you to interact with abusers. I've decided to stop answering their phone calls and to only entertain them to the extent needed.
I'm Done "Rescuing" Victims from Being Used -- Every time I have tried to tell a friend this guy is using them for sex? They hit back at me and say I am making it up. She then began attacking me. Tried to tell people pleaser co-worker that this person at work is using them to do their work for them? She didn't even see it that way and and instead I was the bad guy. Hell, some don't want to be saved, they want you to be miserable just like them. I don't even bother saving the so called "good" victims -- if it were you in the same position, some would just spinelessly and cowardly sell you or leave you out to dry. This isn't my business. If I witness a crime, I will report. But other than that, I do not care anymore.
Work -- I'm done fighting bad management. Some companies are meant to die out. Some are meant to continue surviving solely on the overtime labor of bad management. Some are meant to survive on desperate applicants who go there only out of desperation, get the experience and leave their first opportunity. The focus is on me as an individual, getting what I am seeking to get out of the job, and selling my talent to the highest bidder. Just get what you need out of the job, and jump ship when it's time to jump ship. Bad management? Leave and let them collapse on their own.
Bad Groups/Systems -- I'm just done fighting them, whether it be a bad HOA. Just leave and let the system collapse or survive on the overtime labor of the bad management.
I'm done fighting. I'm done being the hero. I'm done with this system. I feel defeated.

My mother always told me I was born with a gift. As a child, I saw monsters lurking in the shadows whenever the lights went out. I would sprint to my room, heart pounding, terrified they would catch me. Most kids have this fear, I suppose, but I never outgrew it.
When I was very young, these monsters were shapeless, shadows that morphed and slithered just beyond the reach of light. I would lay in bed, eyes wide open, blanket pulled up to my chin, ears straining to catch the faintest whisper of movement. My nights were a constant battle between exhaustion and fear, sleep a rare and precious commodity. My mother would come in, sit on the edge of my bed, and tell me soothing stories about brave children and protective spirits. It never worked. The moment she left, the shadows would return, and with them, the monsters.
As a teenager, I became the outcast, the one everyone avoided because I was scared of everything. My classmates whispered about me, their words a low hum of derision and curiosity. While others explored abandoned buildings and partied in the woods, I refused. They thought I was a coward. What they never realized was that I saw things they couldn’t. Their parties in the woods were to me gatherings of unseen horrors, their abandoned buildings were haunted in ways they could never comprehend.
What I have learned is that the young ones are particularly sensitive to them. Do you ever wonder why children always seem to be afraid of monsters? They see something under their bed and want to sleep in their parents’ room? It’s because they know what I know, before their parents convince them it's not real and their gift goes away. I bet you have some memories of this, too. Maybe you remember a time when you were certain there was something in the closet, or the way the shadows seemed to shift and change when you were alone in your room. Maybe you dismissed it as childish imagination. I couldn't afford that luxury.
They don’t mind children seeing them. I’m not sure why. It could be that they don’t perceive them as a threat because no one will believe them. Parents dismiss the fears, tell their children there are no monsters, it’s just the wind, it’s just the house settling. They smile and turn off the lights, leaving their children alone in the dark.
But the monsters react differently when you get older. As a teenager, I noticed they became somewhat agitated when I made eye contact with them. Now, as a young adult, they get furious if they realize I can see them. My life has become a facade of constantly pretending I don’t notice them. When I go to a friend's house for dinner, I have to act like there isn’t a young girl hanging by a rope in the living room.
Have you ever been reading horror stories or watching a scary movie late at night, then suddenly you feel like something moves in the shadows at the edge of your periphery? I know you know what I’m talking about. You’re more sensitive to them then, but they always escape before you get a good look. Consider yourself lucky. I loved my mother, and I miss her dearly, but she was dead wrong. This is not a gift. It’s the furthest thing from it.
They surround me every day, everywhere I go. After a while, some friends at school approached me, wanting to know what I saw. They saw it as a thrill. To them, I was a glorified Ouija board. I agreed to come to a sleepover and tell them what I saw. It was a way for me to get back at the monsters haunting every waking moment. A way to expose them. I should have known it was a bad idea. Trust me when I tell you, you do not want to know what's in your house.
That night, we gathered in the dimly lit living room of my friend Samantha’s house. She turned off all the lights and lit some candles, casting a soft, flickering glow that made the shadows dance and twist in the corners of the room. The group of girls sat around me in a semicircle, their pajamas a mix of bright colors and comforting patterns, a contrast to the dark atmosphere that had settled over us. Each of them clutched their pillows, their eyes wide with anticipation, their breaths shallow and quick.
The room was silent except for the occasional creak of the house settling and the steady drip of wax from the candles. It felt like the entire world had shrunk down to the circle of light we were sitting in, the darkness outside our only audience. They asked what I saw, their voices barely above whispers, as if speaking too loudly might summon the very things they were curious about.
I saw three that night. The first was a tall, gaunt woman, her head nearly touching the ceiling. Her presence was overwhelming, like a dark, looming tree. Her long black hair cascaded down, reaching the floor and almost completely obscuring her body. Her eyes were hollow, empty voids that seemed to swallow the light. As I began to describe her, she turned slowly, deliberately, and walked across the back of the room. Her huge feet thudded on the floor with each step, a sound that echoed in the oppressive silence, sending shivers down our spines. The girls’ faces blanched, their eyes darting to the spot where I said she stood.
The next was a young boy, crouched underneath the coffee table. He was small, with a face twisted in fear and pain. His clothes were tattered, and his skin was pale, almost translucent. As I spoke of him, his mouth opened in a silent scream, a scream that seemed to vibrate in the very air around us. His eyes were wide, filled with a terror that was all too familiar to me. He stayed there for a moment, his silent scream lingering, before he disappeared into the shadows. The flickering candlelight played tricks on the girls’ eyes, making them see the boy where there was nothing but darkness.
Finally, there was a man outside the window, his face pressed against the glass. His eyes were dark and piercing, filled with a malevolent intensity. His mouth was twisted into a snarl, revealing teeth that looked sharp and jagged. The more I described him, the angrier his expression became. He didn’t just watch us; he stared into us. Slowly, methodically, he began to climb up the side of the house, his movements jerky and unnatural. The sound of his fingers scraping against the windowpane was a grating, nails-on-chalkboard noise that made everyone flinch.
The room’s temperature seemed to drop several degrees, the cold seeping into our bones. My friends’ faces reflected a growing horror. Their initial excitement had evaporated, replaced by nervous laughter that was thin and strained. They tried to brush it off, to convince themselves and each other that it was just a game, just a story. But their eyes betrayed them. They didn’t understand. They couldn’t. The monsters I described were real, and they were angry. The more I revealed, the more restless the creatures became. I could feel their hatred, their desire to remain unseen, to continue their existence in the periphery of human awareness.
Samantha’s lower lip began to tremble, and tears welled up in her eyes. She started to cry, her voice breaking as she spoke. “When I was a little girl, I used to hear a thudding noise around my house. I thought it was just my imagination, but now... now I think I’m hearing it again.” Her words hung in the air, heavy with fear and a chilling confirmation of my worst fears. She was hearing it. I was sure of it.
As Samantha's tears flowed, her body shook with quiet sobs. The room was thick with tension, every girl's gaze darting around, trying to spot the unseen threats I described. The flickering candlelight cast shifting shadows that seemed to reach out toward us, amplifying the fear that had taken root in each of us. I reveled in the monsters' anguish. They hated me seeing them; they hated even more that I made others see them. It was a small victory in a war I had been fighting alone for so long.
I continued to describe her, feeding off their terror. "She's in the corner now," I said, my voice low and steady, "her hair brushing against the floor, her eyes fixed on us." The tall, gaunt woman seemed to react to my words, her movements becoming more pronounced. "She's moving faster now," I added, "her strides growing longer, more frantic." Each step she took reverberated through the room, a heavy thud that made the girls grip their pillows tighter, their knuckles turning white with fear.
The woman's pace quickened, her massive strides carrying her across the back of the room in seconds. Her feet banged against the walls with each pass, a relentless, haunting rhythm that seemed to echo inside our skulls. I described her in excruciating detail: the way her hair tangled and swayed, the hollow look in her eyes, the musty, decaying smell that followed her. The room felt colder with each word, as if the temperature dropped in response to her growing fury.
I knew I should have stopped, but the hatred I held for these creatures drove me on. They had tormented me for years, and now, finally, they were suffering too. The other girls could hear her now, the thudding, the scraping, the low, guttural moans that filled the silence between each stride. They were no longer just figments of my imagination; they had become real, tangible horrors to everyone in that room.
Then, there was a moment of stillness. The pounding stopped, and the air seemed to freeze. Time itself felt suspended as we strained to hear any sign of the monsters. The silence made every second stretch into an eternity. We sat there, paralyzed, listening, waiting.
Suddenly, a loud bang shattered the silence as the front door swung open with a violent crash. Samantha lunged for the light switch. The room was flooded with harsh, artificial light, dispelling the shadows and revealing nothing but a group of crying, terrified teenage girls.
“Get out! Get out of my house!” Samantha screamed, her voice hysterical. She pushed me towards the door with surprising strength, her hands trembling. I stumbled outside, turning back just in time to see her slam the door in my face. The sound echoed in the still night, a final punctuation to the terror I had unleashed.
I stood there for a moment, the cold air biting at my skin, my heart pounding. I had gone too far, I knew it. But there was a small, dark satisfaction in knowing that someone else had experienced just a fragment of my reality. The feeling was fleeting, quickly replaced by a deep sense of regret and dread.
The next Monday at school, Samantha didn’t show up. Whispers followed me through the halls, hushed conversations that ceased abruptly whenever I walked by. Faces turned away, eyes averted, as if acknowledging me would make them part of the nightmare. By lunchtime, the gossip had spread like wildfire. I was the girl who saw demons, who had brought them into Samantha’s house. The teachers looked at me with a mixture of concern and suspicion, their whispers almost as loud as the students’.
After lunch, I was called into the school psychologist's office. The room was warm and cluttered, filled with shelves of books and comfortable chairs. The psychologist was a kind-hearted old man, his eyes gentle behind wire-rimmed glasses. Looking back on it as an adult, I realized he could have probably made a fortune in private practice, but he chose to take half the pay to help kids who really needed it. I respected him for that. But respect didn’t stop me from lying.
He asked me gentle, probing questions, his voice calm and soothing. “I’ve heard some stories going around,” he began, “about you seeing... things. Can you tell me about it?”
“No,” I replied, my voice steady. “I don’t see ghosts. I didn’t go to a sleepover. I’m not still afraid of the dark.” Each lie was smooth, practiced. I had learned long ago how to hide my reality from the world. I knew better than to tell the truth. Telling the truth would mean more questions, more attention, and possibly even more disbelief.
The psychologist leaned back in his chair, his eyes fixed intently on me. “It’s important to be honest about what you’re experiencing,” he said softly. His voice was calm, measured, but there was an underlying intensity in his gaze. “Sometimes our minds can play tricks on us, especially when we’re scared or stressed.”
I nodded, my expression carefully neutral. “I understand, but there’s nothing to worry about. It’s just silly rumors.” I was proud of how convincing it sounded, even to me.
He sighed, a deep, weary sound. He wasn’t convinced, but he couldn’t push further without more evidence. “Alright,” he said, his tone casual. “Then, you don’t mind if I turn out the lights, do you?”
The question hung in the air. He was good. Years of experience had honed his instincts, allowing him to see through the facade I presented. He could tell when children were lying, when they were saying they were okay when they weren’t. His eyes bore into mine, challenging, probing. I had a fleeting moment of doubt, but I pushed it aside. I was confident in my ability to handle whatever appeared. After all, I had been dealing with these entities for as long as I could remember.
The room was already dimly lit, the late afternoon sun casting long shadows through the blinds. As he flicked the lights off, the room plunged into near darkness, the weak light from outside doing little to dispel the gloom. My heart sank.
The woman from the house was there in the corner. She stood still, her tall, gaunt figure blending into the darkness. Her eyes, deep and hollow, made every hair on my body stand straight up. I fought against the rising tide of fear and emotion, struggling to maintain my composure. “See, there’s nothing here,” I said. “I’m fine.”
But I wasn’t fine. I really, really wasn’t. You need to understand that these spirits are always confined to the same place. If I saw something in a basement, it was always in that basement. It was never anywhere else. But this woman—this tree woman—had followed me. The realization was a cold, hard knot of fear in my stomach. Her presence here, in this room, shattered everything I thought I knew about the boundaries of their existence. I could feel her anger.
My emotions betrayed me. The psychologist was still watching me, his gaze unwavering. He must have seen the fear in my eyes, the slight tremor in my hands. When he flicked the lights back on, tears were streaming down my face. The dam burst. I didn’t just cry, I wailed. The sound was raw, primal, a release of years of pent-up fear and anguish. I collapsed to the floor, my body convulsing with sobs.
He came over and tried to console me, his hands gentle on my shoulders, his voice soothing. But I was inconsolable. My life had been spent on the edge of a mental breakdown, and through my own stupid actions, I had pushed myself over the edge. The realization that the monsters could follow me, that they could breach the boundaries, was too much to bear.
They took me to inpatient mental health and loaded me up with drugs designed to dull my senses and calm my nerves. The fluorescent overhead lights and smell of disinfectant were both sterile and institutional, but somehow I found a modicum of peace here.
Art therapy sessions became a refuge, a way to express the darkness inside me. I poured my fear and anguish into my drawings, the images of the monsters taking form on paper. The act of creation was cathartic, a way to externalize the internal horrors that plagued me. Yoga sessions grounded me to the present, and reading groups helped me express my thoughts. Most importantly, the lights were always somewhat on.
Despite the circumstances, I actually made friends with a lot of the other girls. We bonded over our shared experiences, our struggles and fears. In a strange way, these friendships felt more genuine, more solid, than any I had in regular life.
We jokingly called the place our grippy sock jail, on account of us all having to wear socks so we didn’t strangle ourselves with shoelaces. The name brought a sense of levity, a way to reclaim some control over our environment. We laughed together, shared our hopes and dreams, and for a while, the monsters seemed distant, their presence muted by the bonds we formed.
I did everything in my power to perpetually convince my doctor that I wasn’t ready to return to my life. I fabricated symptoms, exaggerated fears, anything to stay in the protective cocoon of the mental health facility. But after a few months, despite my efforts, they managed to transition me back home. My mother was ecstatic to see me, her eyes brimming with tears of joy. She embraced me tightly, kissing me all over in front of the window where I could see all my friends watching and laughing. It was a mortifying moment, but the laughter outside wasn’t the mean-spirited kind I had been accustomed to. It was genuine, warm, and for the first time, I felt a flicker of normalcy.
Back in my room, I kept the lights on twenty-four seven. The brightness was a comforting shield against the encroaching darkness. Per the doctor’s orders, we slowly started turning off lights in the house as I felt ready. It was a painstaking process, taking several months for the house to even get dim at night, but the monsters never returned. Each day was a small victory, each night a battle won.
Before I knew it, I was sleeping in perfect darkness, a smile on my face. I slept like a baby, the kind of deep, restful sleep I hadn’t known in years. It was as if I was catching up on a decade of sleep deprivation, and every morning I woke up feeling a little more like myself.
Years later, I got my own place while attending community college. It was a small apartment, but it represented freedom and independence. The memories of my childhood nightmares only came infrequently, like faint echoes of a distant past. Feeling confident and in control, I decided to cut down on my medication, wanting to experience life without the dulling effects of the drugs. Nothing happened for weeks, and I started to believe that the horrors of my past were truly behind me.
One night, after brushing my teeth, I flicked off the bathroom light and walked to my room. As I entered and turned off the light, my heart nearly stopped. The tree woman was in the corner, her tall, gaunt figure hunched over, barely fitting under the eight-foot ceiling. Her presence was overwhelming, a dark, suffocating force that made the air thick and heavy. I almost screamed, but instinct kicked in. Somehow, I managed to regain control and casually pretended like I didn’t see her there. Every muscle in my body was tense, my hands shaking as I moved.
She stood still, watching me with those hollow, penetrating eyes. I was shaking, almost violently, and it took every fiber of my being to hide it as I casually crawled into bed. My movements were slow, deliberate, as if any sudden action would trigger an immediate response from her.
The sound of her massive feet thudding on the ground as she walked over to my bed echoed in the room. She stood over me, her presence a looming, oppressive shadow. I was drenched in sweat, quivering from fear. My heart was pounding so hard I thought it might burst. Somehow, I managed to reach into my nightstand, my fingers trembling as I grabbed the bottle of pills. I took triple the dose of my medication, swallowing the pills dry, hoping they would take effect quickly.
In a desperate attempt to distract myself, I pulled out my laptop from the nightstand and started browsing Facebook. The bright light from the screen obscured the shadows, creating a barrier between me and the horror standing over my bed. I forced myself to focus on the mundane, scrolling through posts and liking pictures, anything to keep my mind occupied.
Minutes turned into hours, and it was past 5 a.m. by the time I closed my laptop. The soft blue glow of early morning filtered into the room, casting gentle rays that illuminated the remnants of night’s shadows. With the arrival of dawn, a sense of safety and relief washed over me. The oppressive presence of the tree woman had vanished, retreating into the shadows where she belonged. I let out a shuddering breath, my body finally relaxing as the tension ebbed away. Exhausted, I lay back, my limbs heavy and my mind hazy. Despite the lingering fear, sleep claimed me quickly, pulling me into its embrace.
As I drifted off, I knew deep down that I would never truly escape this nightmare. The monsters were a part of me. But for now, I had survived another night, and that small victory was enough.
In the days that followed, I clung to my routine. I kept a healthy supply of antipsychotics on standby and took my pills like clockwork. The medication was a fragile barrier between me and the shadows that lurked in the darkness. Missing a dose was not an option; I would sooner die than risk it.
Years passed, and I managed to carve out a semblance of normalcy. I found a decent desk job, one that didn’t demand too much of me mentally or emotionally. The predictability of office life was a comfort, the monotony a balm for my frayed nerves. I met someone, a kind and patient man who became my boyfriend. He didn’t know the full extent of my past, but he accepted me, quirks and all. Together, we built a life that felt safe and stable.
Yet, the shadows of my past never fully disappeared. They lingered at the edges of my consciousness. Every so often, a stray noise or an unexpected shadow would send me into a full-blown panic attack. Despite the medication and the semblance of a normal life, I remained vigilant, always on guard against the return of the darkness. It was a delicate balance, a precarious dance between sanity and the abyss. I knew better than to let my guard down completely.
I’ll leave you with this: In the end, the monsters feed on fear and attention. Acknowledging them gives them power, and power is something they must be denied at all costs. So, when you feel a chill in the room, keep your eyes forward and your mind steady. Remember, sometimes the safest path is the one that keeps you blissfully ignorant of the horrors that lie just out of sight.
If you find yourself up late one night, and you see something out of the corner of your eye, just laugh it off. Don’t turn your gaze to it, and don’t go looking for things you’d rather not find. When you feel that chill creep up the back of your neck, whatever you do, do not gaze into the darkness.

Hi friends — F28 here!
I’m very new to dating. I’ve enjoyed spending the last few years establishing myself, building healthy independent habits, and working through past traumas. I’ve spent a large amount of time recognizing my own mistakes, identifying my values, and pivoting my life to reflect on them.
This year, I wanted to pursue dating. I’ve been open to it, but never met anyone I’m interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with. I have single, engaged, and married friends. I’m a child of divorced parents, and am sensitive to unhealthy tendencies in relationships. I think I have a fairly good understanding of characteristics for healthy relationships, communication, and compatibility. I’ve also practiced this in my own friendships (embracing the beautiful and the ugly).
That being said, I’m trying to navigate a Hinge match (27M) respectfully. We’ve communicated over messaging, and I shared my number so we could plan first date details. I tend to vet people pretty seriously on Hinge, so I don’t mind sharing my number appropriately. This guy seemed great. Very similar values, and I’m mostly attracted to him.
But, I’m becoming less interested because of the way he texts. I love emojis, however, he uses them in nearly all messaging (😊😆😉😅). He also says things like “girlllllll, yes”, and “hmm”, “AHH”, etc …
I think I should add that I’m very much into more introverted, rational, and introspective guys. I’m a bubbly person and love being silly, but I enjoy a good balance. 🧚🏽‍♀️
I messaged him to ask for a phone call to gauge some chemistry / compatibility over the phone. I don’t expect to discern a ton, but I think there are things that can be discovered through light phone conversation. Again, usually I wouldn’t, but his texting style kind of puts me off.
How do you all feel about texting styles? Any patterns there? Does it tend to reflect maturity / immaturity? I really could be wrong! I just don’t know enough to know.
In doing initial research, it seems mostly men prefer phone calls. Even then, what are your thoughts on phone calls? I’m fairly comfortable on the phone, and really wouldn’t mind them.
I’m sort of a slow-burner, but I have transparent personality. With my friends, I’m long and steady, but build loyalty fairly quickly based on compatibility as friends. I love getting to know people. But I’ve never seen myself in dating.
With dating, I hate the idea of having to swipe on anybody, but recognize it’s part of the process. So, I’m working to build a muscle of being able to incorporate a good balance of being open, honest, and intentional.
Thank you in advance!

Hi,
39F, 130lbs, non smoker, history of alcohol use disorder but now sober for 1+ year, history of anxiety and depression, taking Sertraline 100mg and on the contraceptive arm implant.
I'm hoping for some reassurance about some symptoms I've been having. It's hard to tell if the doctors I have seen aren't taking me seriously or if I am worrying about nothing.
For the last few months I've been experiencing severe bloating and indigestion with diarrhea. It's intermittent and usually follows the same sort of pattern. I feel fine, then for a few days I can feel the bloating coming on, it's almost as if someone is inflating a balloon inside me. I will then have an awful day, every fortnight or so, of crippling diarrhea (every half an hour or more, and taking Immodium doesn't seem to stop it), bloating and cramps which usually signifies the end of the episode. What is worrying me is that I have now started to experience severe bloating between these acute episodes.
I do suffer from anxiety and unfortunately two people in my close friendship group were recently diagnosed with cancer so the fact that this could be something more nefarious is at the front of my mind. Both doctors I have seen have suggested it is likely IBS and I have been advised to track my symptoms in relation to my diet and menstrual cycle and to take over the counter indigestion remedies. I have been tracking my symptoms, but there is no indication so far that anything is triggering these episodes.
As I've said my main concern is that the bloating is less intermittent now and more constant.
I don't want to go back to the doctors and waste their time if this is indeed IBS, and I am really aware that due to my history of anxiety I do tend to worry more than might be necessary, but at the same time, is this something that sounds like it warrants further investigation?
Many thanks!

I briefly dated someone who displays narcissistic tendencies. They stole money from me and were incredibly abusive during the time we dated and while I walked away pretty quickly, I’m still dealing with the fallout.
In trying to get the money back, I found out that this person had taken naked photos of me without my consent while I was walking around the house after a shower. They will not delete them and said they have more photos I sent to them saved in their Google Drive.
This is a pattern of behavior, as they admitted to doing this to their former partner to “protect themselves.” In addition, a major reason why I finally walked away was realizing that they are a groomer and have many “friendships” with girls as young as 12 years old. I think if someone got access to this person’s Telegram, WhatsApp, and Google Drive, they would find a lot of horrible stuff.
While I plan on hiring a lawyer to write a cease and desist letter to delete the photos and if they post them, take full legal action, I am wondering what recourse I have for reporting someone that I suspect of grooming? Google said they can’t do anything and I reported them for the revenge porn, as I have proof of that, but the fact this person probably has a lot of naked photos of women without their consent, and possibly young girls, really disturbs me.

TWINFLAMES #AWAKENING #KUNDALINI

Twin Flame Kundalini Activation: Signs of Kundalini Awakening
Spiritual Awakening can be a gentle process or sometimes it can be brought on intensely. More and more people are experiencing this awakening as we proceed through the cosmic energy that is literally activating our light bodies and our DNA. It can be a very confusing and even fear-filled process when we don’t understand what is happening. We are propelled into places both within and external that we have never before experienced. Many people have thought themselves going crazy or losing hold of reality and in a way that is true. This energy allows us to see the truth of the nature of our existence in human form. Veils are lifted and illumination takes place. They call this ‘Enlightenment”
Our kundalini energy lies dormant at the base of our spine, a slumbering snake in eternal sleep. It is said that our DNA was genetically altered at the time of our creation so that we would remain unaware of our own power as creators and to keep us imprisoned in this 3D construct. There is some in depth information on this and I will leave a link at the end for you to explore further. I just wanted to present a few of the signs and symptoms that indicate your kundalini has been activated.
In regards to twin flames, a part of the purpose of union is to activate the kundalini energy in each other for full union and expression of the third Divine energy the union creates. This activation is key as many of the twins have one twin at a slightly accelerated rate of vibration than the other. I believe this is why there is the separation phase once they find each other. They both need to readjust and assimilate this new energy activation and come to a place of balance and awareness individually. This activation forces them to do all the necessary shedding, clearing and healing of anything that no longer serves their shared purpose. Understanding what you are going through can make the journey a little less confusing and uncomfortable.
It helps to know that all the crazy things you are going through are actually Divinely intended at this time and will bring you into alignment for your ascension.
Some symptoms in no particular order:
Seeing/Feeling Energy: seeing orbs of light within peripheral vision…prickly or tingling sensations…a pulsing, tremor or vibrating sensation, tracers, after images among objects or people…unexplained warmth in the hands or feet…seeing colors of frequency. Emotional Upheaval: You will experience the extreme polarity of emotions moving from euphoria to depression as if your emotions are completely out of your control. This is the result of your hormones changing through your endocrine system. Identity Crisis: An isolation builds where you can no longer understand yourself, who you are, what is your path or reality itself. It is the essence of dissociation. There becomes a deep fear that you cannot deal with material reality as everyone around you is still in illusion. This is where the ego starts losing it’s bearings over your consciousness. The Urge to Create: You want to explore things creatively, cooking, music, art, poetry, writing etc. One instance of awakening is you are becoming more in tune with your subconscious and releasing the mind into the imagination. We create our reality with the power of our thoughts. This is the Universe giving us a sign to start creating literally and figuratively.
Increase in Psychic Abilities: When we awaken our senses, they not only become sharper but your intuition is guiding you more than you ever thought possible. You start to listen to your gut instinct…synchronicity and patterns become too strong to ignore…you start predicting events before they happen…knowing things before you you even knew them…precognitive dreaming.
In Tune with Celestial Events: When our consciousness changes we become more in tune with frequency and in turn the frequency of the earth. When we are aware we start to notice the subtle patterns especially during the moon phases and astrological alignments. Since everything is connected through the ripple effect, we are effected in magnitude during these events. Past Life Memories: Our long term memory is returning. These are deep suppressed memories within our soul blueprint and encoded in our DNA. We are seeing glimpses of who we were within various lifetimes. Past life memories for some occur in flashbacks, visions, daydreams or glimpse into the past. It is a memory so vivid and real that it brings confusion because you know it is not from this current time line.
Flashes into Other Realities: The feeling as if you are living in multiple realities at once or parallel lives. Time is more fluid as past, present and future merge as one. You will feel as if straddled between worlds or moving into different realities all together. It activates a very disoriented feeling of not being grounded because you are opening yourself to different timelines of perceived reality.
Seeing a Person’s True Form: It is like the concept of the mirror into seeing other’s reflections of their past lives through their own energy aura. As we become stronger, sometimes we can see loved ones or even strangers with a superimposed face enabling something from their past life or parallel life to come through to us. Anxiety/Panic Attacks: The flow of energy can be overwhelming as the ego loses it’s grip. This can cause your brain to move faster than the body enabling a concept called ‘black hole’ thinking. (please check out that link, it is important) Your perception is changing and with that comes a desire to fall into a cycle of past and future thinking enabling fear and loss.
No Low Vibes: There is an innate desire to surround yourself with ‘like minded’ people and healthy relationships. You simply cannot tolerate lower vibration environments, duality behavior or toxic unhealthy relationships any longer.Your body is longing to move away from the 3D dualistic concepts completely. You come into alignment with the higher energies of the new paradigm.
Rapid Synchronicity: Synchronicity begins increasing rapid;ly, certain number sequences begin to haunt you…11:11, 1212, 111, 333, 444, 555, 666, 777. You begin to experience increased deja-vu, dreams taking form or certain archetypal symbols appear in your life. The symbols work in a way that is similar to Jungian psychology. The symbols help awaken us.
Clarity of Communication: You feel more in tune listening to the silence. You are not going crazy, but you feel a desire to speak with this ‘inner voice’ or listen to the silence. Many experience meeting their spirit guides or having angelic communication this way. Channeling becomes innate and natural to us as we open ourselves up to being connected to the higher spiritual realms.
Time Dilation: The concept of how we view time changes completely. WE are operating from a a unified sense of past-present-future perception. The time is now. Your consciousness is striving for a present mindset. Time doesn’t feel like it has a structure anymore, it is very fluid. Left-brain Short Circuit: Consciousness is going through a rewiring of sorts, so everything our right hemisphere operates on will be heightened. This means our empathy, our spatial memory, psychic abilities and our ability to experience through vision will be magnified. Whereas the left hemisphere will tune down. Brain fog, memory lapses and no focus will be prevalent.
Feeling Disconnected: Your consciousness is wanting you to look within for answers. As your frequency shifts, your interests and relationships will change, you attract what you are. Old friendships and relationships will fall away for more soulful aligned relationships. We are releasing our karmic bonds from our soul family. Sometimes we must let go in order to grow and evolve. Looking Within: This could be a desire from out of the blue to mediate, talking to yourself or being more introspective with your thoughts rather than voicing your opinion all the time, hermit mode. You basically become more telepathic and in tune with your thought perceptions of the world around you. You are becoming an observer of your thoughts and feelings, a watcher between worlds.
Moments of Elation: Once you awaken you feel more at peace with yourself and your reality. This creates moments of bliss and euphoria. You are able to see beyond the illusions of separation and knowing that you are never alone. We are all connected and guided by the Universe within.

EDIT --- I THINK I SOLVED IT!!

The letter Q was off, and I am old so I didn't know what SWM stood for (other than single white male?) But thank you urban dictionary!

The answer is USWMGOTITOK

You Stay With Me. Got It. OK.

----------------------------------

If mods remove this, that's totally cool. I never post, but this shit's been spinning around in my head and I just didn't know what to do with it.
So I saw people analyzing the frame by frame "so figure it out" meme (I don't even know anymore which meme it's from but i was going by this screenshot...
https://imgur.com/a/63dbsry
Anyway, I found a pattern a few hours ago, but still have not been able to come up with what it means!! And I think it's too cohencidental to be coincidence. (Maybe it's a gamer thing? Or a computer programmy thing? Or maybe i'm just not seeing it? Or maybe i'm *completely* off base here and my brain is just mush. All of those are entirely possible at this point!)
So the phrase we're working with is clearly "so figure it out"
And like all good puzzles, I started from the end and worked my way backwards.
So the letters that are incorrect fall into this pattern...
SOFIGUREITOU -2
SOFIGUREITO -2 -2
SOFIGUREIT -2 -2 -6
SOFIGUREIT -2 -4 -8
SOFIGUREI -2 -4 -8 -14
SOFIGURE -2 -4 -8 -12 -20
SOFIGUR -2 -4 -8 -12 -20 -8
SOFIGU -2 -4 -8 -12 -18 -7
SOFIG -2 -4 -6 -12 -18 -6
SOFI -2 -4 -6 -10 -18 - 4
SOF -2 -4 -6 -10 -16 -2
SO -2 -4 -6 -10 -16 -2
S -2 -4 -6 -10 -16 -0
The numbers I wrote represent how far from the letter it's supposed to be it actually is. (And yes, for some of them I had to loop around from A to Z) For example, the last frame says "SO FIGURE IT OUV". The incorrect letter is a V and it's supposed to be a T. T is -2 spots away from V in the alphabet.
**A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z*\*
And so if you notice, all the missing letters follow a pretty steady pattern.
But the only thing I've been able to make of the numbers, is count backwards from the end of the alphabet and assign each letter a -number, and then I remove all duplicate letters/ numbers that show up on the line prior, I'm left with with "U S W M G O T I T Q K ". Which the end part "got it quick" makes sense, but the "swm" is still annoying the shit outta me. (And tbh, I'm hoping there's more to it than that and maybe the numbers mean something else. Because if "you got it quick" is the only goddamn answer to this freakin puzzle I'm gonna slap DFV if I ever happen to see him!!!)
Or maybe I'm completely off base... Who knows! But if this makes sense to you and anyone has any insight that I'm missing, please let me know!
(And if anyone has already solved this, please point me to that post and I'll delete this asap. Thanks!)

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Anglestan
Augustus 5, 1923
Facility 9, Mancheston
Colonel Jacobs
His hands flew through the folders General Jorgenson and Colonel Thatcher had. There were dozens of them, stacked upon each other all filed in alphabetical order. It had only been a few days since he had woken up from his coma and visited his home— now his mother’s grave. He clenched his fists at the thought. The grief and rage threatened to bubble and spill over once again. He took a deep breath and dragged out the exhale, almost to the point where he had emptied out his lungs.
He was the only one with clearance, and so he couldn’t disclose any of what he learned with his team. They would simply have to trust him and his judgment. Which he was sure they would do. His hands went over one of the folders skimming through it. There were multiple secret projects, but the ones with the most notes were Project S.T.A.R, Project L.U.N.A.R.I, Project R.E.V.I.V.E, Project D.A.W.N, and Project T.E.M.P.L.A.R.
The colonel decided to start with the most notes and papers. Project D.A.W.N.
He skimmed through the notes, reading through some of the details and highlighted words. Project D.A.W.N, the espionage project Thatcher had started placed two spies in Verlin who were to report directly to a Crescent general named Sienna Moretti who was apparently on humanity’s side.
So I was right. There was an espionage element. With the recent attacks and Thatcher’s death, however, it’s safe to assume that it had somehow failed. Either they got found out or they betrayed us. Both seem very likely, but if they were found out, it would be possible that they had died.
He read through all of it before setting the folder down. There were no new notes recently. He sighed and assumed that Project DAWN was a failure. Whether or not the agents were still alive and well, it was too risky to check if they had been compromised. It was better to assume that they had been and cut all contact. The only way to find out now was to go there himself and check. I can’t contact them again. There’s no telling if it would still be Moretti or the agents who would see my messages. It’s a big risk, and judging by the state of things, best to assume it failed.
He picked up another folder. This one had the label ‘under development’ on the folder. Project Templar. He opened the folder and was instantly met with a blueprint and drawings of a massive bipedal machine. It looked humanoid with strange proportions and was supposed to be standing at an impressive 30 meters, or 100 feet. The Titanic Engine Mech for Personal Land Assault and Reconnaissance.
It was apparently a joint project with the Church of Sol, utilizing new and advanced technologies he hadn’t heard of. A 203mm Gatling cannon on one arm, while the other had three different weapons. A massive firestarter that utilized a new type of fuel mixture that could theoretically spew flames a kilometer away using a high-pressure nozzle. The fuel was ignited using an electrical spark. The second weapon was a high-powered light weapon that fired a single powerful beam of focused light that was even further amplified by layers of focusing lenses that could increase its output several times. Its third weapon was… a dust domina?
Mark read through the specifications of the so-called ‘sand cannon’ weapon. It was a massive cannon that accelerated tiny particles several times. Each particle was to be electrically charged, and it would travel at immense speeds. Near impossible speeds. The resulting impact of a microscopic particle at such speeds would be enough to form a small crater and punch through armor like it was nothing. This weapon would fire multiple at the same time, which could literally eat away at anything on the opposing end.
In terms of secondary weapons, the titan had two missile launch chambers in front of its shoulder each containing about 40 missiles, and two massive howitzer cannons on top of it. Both are 800mm in caliber. It had massive stumpy legs that served as bunkers for a small platoon on each leg. Each leg had machine dominas and 155mm cannons. Its chassis held two nuclear reactors inside providing for its power and weaponry. Its armor was the thickest and most ridiculous he’d ever read. Two meters of heavy steel armor.
How far are we in terms of technology? This thing looks like it came out of an H.G. Wells sci-fi novel. He thought, shaking his head. It was over the top, but there was no denying its combat capabilities. If it was already under-developed then it must be the first prototype. This has already been approved. Guess I better see it for myself later and check how it's coming along. Construction apparently started just a few months before the invasion.
Next was project L.U.N.A.R.I. It was a project involving Six. “Huh,” he said, continuing to read on.
The Light Undone: Nocturnal’s Adaptive Resistance Initiative. As he read further, his eyes widened. The reason why Six was so special wasn’t just because of her immunity to all strigoi weaknesses, but because of her impressive ability to turn any true born strigoi like her. She could transfer her strain like any other strigoi and transform them into a version of hers. It however only seemed to work for naturally born strigoi. The new species of ‘half-breeds’ were called ‘Blessed Children’ as Thatcher had coined in the folder.
The plan was to turn all willing true-born hemolite strigoi into these blessed children. Able to withstand the sun. Immune to silver. Free from the dependency on blood. They could remove all the weaknesses of the strigoi and after the war— make it possible to integrate them into society as normal citizens living on the surface. The project folder also made mentions of a city-wide draft in Dante and highlighted the possibility of turning all Dantenite true born strigoi into these blessed children and renaming them as ‘Lunari’. A mix of the dark and the light. The light of Sol reflected in the children of the night.
“Thatcher, what the fuck have you been up to…” Mark whispered to himself.
While it was true that it could help in the war effort by utilizing Six and the dantenite population, it would also invite some unforeseen problems and consequences. Would humanity be okay with the Lunari? Would the world even be ready for them? Strigoi who were immune to the sun. They wouldn’t be impossible to kill, but they would be immensely more powerful if we were to take away their inherent weaknesses. This is a gamble. Its gain would only be seen during the war period, but its unintended effects on society could be catastrophic.
He frowned, setting the folder down. It was obviously Thatcher’s main plan; seeing as all her moves could be traced to the path of the eventual completion of this project. It seemed dangerous in the long run, but the duskwalkers and dantenites had been monumental in the war effort. Maybe it was the time the world started to accept them more. Isolation and segregation was definitely not the way to disperse fears and foster understanding.
If Thatcher thinks this is the next step forward… then I’ll put my faith in her plans.
Next up was Project S.T.A.R, or the Superior Tech and Adaptive Resistance. An upgrade to the current hemolite weapons and gear by using new researched studies. The Starfire Pattern Domina. The SFD-23 This thing features a new loading system and magazine, ditching the rotating cylinder most domina used, or the rotating helix magazine design of the current hemolite standard BM-16 domina.
The new domina had its magazine like a box… a strange design but it was certainly easier to handle than the bulky cylinders the helical mags used. In terms of ergonomics, it was smoother and fit more. Its placement however was on top of the domina, just above the barrel. Most of the weapon were to be made of lightweight polymers and the barrel itself were to be crafted out of reinforced aluminium. In addition to that, it had a 10-inch bayonet attached to it.
There were other new things as well, such as the composition of the bullet. Looking at the conceptual cross-section designs, Mark read through its description and how it would function. A .308 cased telescoped bullet covered in a silver jacket with break-away petals surrounding the main body. Inside the jacket was a penetrator core that was to be made of depleted uranium. It had a small amount of incendiary compound and… powdered white phosphorus behind an explosive compound. The thin silver jacket would deform and trigger the explosive compound inside the body. It would blow up causing massive internal damage and release the incendiary materials into the body with the flecks of powdered white phosphorus. The penetrator core could still potentially keep going and hit a second target, or punch through heavily armored targets.
Part of the new Project S.T.A.R was overhauling the armor and gear of not just the Hemolites but the Hunters as well. Starfire Mk 1. Carapace Armor. Carapace? It looked like plates of steel covered in a rubberized coat. It was supposed to be slipped on over the original hemolite body armor. It added a spring-loaded wrist blade to the gauntlet, a thicker coat made of resistant materials, and added extra padding for the knees, shoulders, and elbows.
However, the hemolites weren’t the only ones mentioned in the folder. It was to serve the Hunters as well. “Hunters…” Mark said. “August’s group is part of this initiative too.” He flipped through some of the pages. There were blueprints and drawings of an armored suit. A mechanized suit even smaller and more compact than the jotunn units. The Mark 1 STR battlesuit. It was supposed to hug the wearer’s frame and increase their overall power. It was supposed to be built of titanium alloy and a heavy steel frame with composite armor. It had a cooling system, life support systems that could recycle bodily fluids, and an exoskeleton frame that could increase the wearer’s strength and speed.
However, the real eye-opener was Thatcher’s notes. She had been ranting about the new human evolution, and how the Hunters were the first of the ‘Solari’. She wanted to enhance human genetics and push past the peak of human ability to reach greater heights. Implants and restructuring of the anatomy to make it more efficient. Using the blood of the goddess herself. She must have lost it. These are the ramblings of a lunatic. At least… if she didn’t mention the goddess. Why was the goddess important here?
The writings ended with the words: “See Project R.E.V.I.V.E, for more details.”
Mark eyed the final folder. His hands shook as he reached out to take it. Flipping it open, his hands nearly dropped it in shock. The goddess Helena was alive. There were pictures of her naked form floating in a giant tube of fluid. There were more of Thatcher’s ramblings and excited rants about the possibilities of such a discovery. Resurrection, Enhancement, and Veneration: Implementation of Visionary Evolution.
The goddess is alive?! According to the file, she’s currently under the Cathedral of New Lundun. Not only that, but the file also detailed the extraterrestrial tech that lay beneath the cathedral. So the goddess is real and she’s— not really a goddess, but rather, a vampyr who created herself a human body to stand in the sun, and decided that it wants to be on humanity’s side… what the fuck.
Mark’s frown and confusion only increased as he read on. Thatcher’s notes seemed to nearly descend into madness as she had written about creating ‘the first hundred’, alluding to the 100 members of the Hunters division. Her plan was to revive the goddess, and with her help and expertise in genetics— use her DNA to transform the Hunters into demi-humans. Super soldiers. Literal children of the goddess Helena. They would then don the STR battlesuits, the first of the superhuman warriors to defend humanity. Solari.
Their lightning-speed advancement into technology was heralded by studying the alien tech, which deepened the understanding of physics and engineering. Nuclear technologies, chemical warfare, new material sciences, the mechs, and walkers, it was spearheaded by trying to reverse-engineer technology centuries ahead of our own… for the past hundred years. It wasn’t completely stolen, however. More or less borrowed ideas that had been made into our own with our own designs and implements. Still, the speed at which the Church and the military had deciphered such advancements all by themselves was… impressive to say the least.
Still, the fact that the goddess was alive, and could be brought back was big news. Checking the file for details, he found that the previous general, Jorgenson, had already approved this project. It was their next step as soon as they returned from New Amsterdam; which never happened.
If Helena was alive, then she could end this war swiftly, or at the very least help greatly like she once did during the War of Darkness. Having the goddess back would throw a massive wrench in the Crescent’s plans. It would certainly be something they wouldn’t expect. Not even I expected this, since many sources say that the goddess had already ascended to watch over humanity, while conspiracy theorists claim she had died in battle and that the Church was worshiping a corpse. This could be the trick up our sleeves that no one would even consider.
The colonel quickly got up from his seat and gathered the main files he had read. He placed them in a bag and rushed outside of his office in Facility 9. He went over to a nearby room and flicked the lights on. “We need to go,” he said. In an instant seven hemolite soldiers got up from whatever they were doing and instantly stood in line.
“Sir! Whatever you need of us, sir,” the group said in unison.
They were Hemo-1. His former squad members. He had taken up Louis' suggestion that they be his personal security detail. It was a shame that he had basically placed the best hemolite team out of commission, but after all he had been through he convinced himself that he could be just a little selfish. He didn’t want to lose any more friends. Not on his watch. Not while he was in an office, and they were out fighting.
“We’re going to New Lundun. Better pack up, it’s going to be a long night.”
“Mark,” Olivia said.
Jacobs turned to her direction and gave her a nod.
“Colonel, sir, may I ask where in New Lundun?”
“Liv, you don’t need to do that with me. Please. I give all of you special permission,” the colonel groaned. “It’s so weird. I mean, ‘captain’ was bad enough, but now you’re acting like I’m an authority figure.”
“You… are, though,” Emma shrugged.
“I’m your friend, and Liv I’m literally your partner. Unless you have some kind of weird fetish, save it for later.”
Olivia grinned, shaking her head. “Duly noted!” she chirped.
“That’s better,” Mark chuckled. “Now come on, we have a cathedral to visit.”
“Uhh, I’m not sure if you noticed, but we’re kinda… strigoi?!” Louis groaned. “I’d burn the moment I step in that place! Plus, it’s coated in silver! Anything I even touch will give me burns!”
“Oh come on, Lou. You have fucking gloves on. As long as you’re not a clumsy dumbass you’ll be fine… oh wait.’
“Uh huh, just sayin’ what I think, boss.”
The group headed out and Mark said something on his radio. He then sat on the ground, making his joints pop. The rest of the squad shrugged and followed his example, sitting down on the grass and waiting for… nothing. Charles and Zach looked at each other in confusion. “Uh, sir?” they asked. “Aren’t we supposed to be heading out and traveling right now?”
“Oh yeah, we’re just waiting.”
“Foooor…?”
The colonel gave them a smirk as a loud noise began to make itself known. A hummingbird transport appeared out of the distance and stopped right above them, slowly descending into the grass. “Being colonel has its perks,” Mark said with a smile. He stood up and hopped inside the hummingbird as soon as it landed. “Come on now! We’ve got work to do! Last one aboard buys everyone food later!”
Emma zipped in before Mark could even finish his sentence, followed by Olivia, Phineas, Charles, Zach, and then Louis, who sadly took too long to process what the colonel said, and lagged behind.
“Aw, man! Fuck this shit.”
“Rules are rules, Lou. Prepare your wallet later.” Mark grinned.
With a smile, the colonel pulled Olivia to his side, who blushed for a moment before shaking her head. “Take us up! New Lundun Cathedral! How long would it take?” he asked the pilot.
“About an hour and a half!” The pilot replied. “Less if you want to get there as soon as possible!”
“Take your time! The night’s still young.”
The hummingbird started to lift up, taking them into the air. The group settled down in their seats and watched outside the open. Mark opened up a bag inside the hummingbird and took out some ear muffs built for a strigoi. Extremely loud noises were damaging for a strigoi’s enhanced hearing, so the military started implementing ear muffs for them after complaints from early deployments of the hemolite squads.
The trip didn’t take too long. In only an hour and twenty minutes they had arrived at the safe zone of New Lundun, heading straight for the cathedral. The night mass had just ended and people were leaving the cathedral. “Looks like we made it in perfect time!” Mark smiled. They hovered for a few minutes in the air before eventually landing down right in front of the statue of Helena.
As soon as they landed, the colonel and his group left the hummingbird. Mark instructed the pilot to wait for them. He went straight for the cathedral with his group following behind. He entered inside, clearing his throat. “Hello?”
“Well this is surely unexpected,” an old man said, walking up to greet them.
“Great Grandfather Aurelius. It’s uh, an honor.”
“Please. The honor is mine… I see you’re the new colonel. Yes, I’ve heard the news,” he said. “Would you mind telling me your name, young man? As well as your companions, if they feel so. I usually don’t allow duskwalkers here but, I have nothing against them. I’ll make an exception for your group.”
“Thank you, Great Grandfather,” Mark replied. “I am Colonel Mark Jacobs. These are my friends and security detail. Olivia, Zach, Phineas, Charles, Emma, and Louis.”
“I see, and what brings you here?”
“Since Thatcher’s demise, I was given access to her research and project folders upon taking up the title. I’ve learned about what’s under your cathedral,” Mark cleared his throat. “Would it be alright if we could see it? I’d like to check it for myself. Of course, under your permission and guidance, Great Grandfather.”
The church head looked from Mark to his companions. He pulled a slight frown and hummed. “Do these companions of yours have the clearance? Surely, we wish to keep our secrets hidden,” he said. Mark nodded.
“They do not have clearance to know what is in Thatcher’s folders and her findings,” the colonel nodded. “However, I give them permission to accompany me, and should they discover things for themselves, then you have my word and my trust that I can keep them from spilling state secrets.”
The Great Grandfather gave a short pause before ultimately relenting. “Very well,” he let out a sigh. “Follow me.”
Aurelius walked behind the altar and pulled the same lever, which opened the same staircase leading underground, where Jorgenson and Thatcher had once gone. “Over here, colonel,” he said. “I do not know you completely yet, but this is a big deal of trust I am giving you. Perhaps you would be the one to do things that Thatcher could not have.”
Mark nodded, he and his group followed the Great Grandfather down the staircase. It led down to a massive underground facility, with numerous priests, researchers, and scientists. Libraries, records, instruments, and artifacts of old. It was a treasure trove of learning.
“So,” Aurelius cleared his throat. “What would you like to know about?”
“This isn’t all of it,” Mark said. “Thatcher mentioned a living, breathing, Helena.”
His group behind him let out a soft gasp, but they tried their best to hide their surprise.
“Hm,” the Great Grandfather nodded. “Perceptive young man aren’t you? Very well.”
They were then led into another room, behind a set of heavy blast doors. If the whole group were trying to hide their surprise then, now they could barely contain it. Even the colonel stared awestruck at the things he had seen. Despite the near-magical objects around them, the true shock was the massive starship at the end of the hallway. “It’s impressive isn’t it?” Aurelius said. “All of the goddess’ artifacts and items at our disposal, to use and learn from, to integrate into our own. This is why Anglestan is the most powerful nation in the UHT in terms of development. When it comes to industry, however, that would go to the UNA. But we share our secrets with them. All our advancements are handed to them first before any other nation.”
“This is all amazing, Great Grandfather,” Mark replied. “But this is not what I’m here for.”
“No, it’s not.” Aurelius nodded.
He led them to another room, one that was sterilized and sported advanced machinery. Things that Mark had never even seen. There were screens with luminous green texts that appeared in front of it. Large panels with numerous keys, levers, and dials. Graphs of all sorts and beeping monitors. In the center, was the very thing he had come all this way to confirm. A large cylinder filled with liquid, sporting tubes and pipes connecting to its base. Inside was a woman of large proportion. Four arms, two legs, and six wings. In her bare chest was a symbol of the sun that seemed to glow dimly.
“There she is, there’s you goddess.”
Neither Mark nor his group spoke a word. He walked up to it, eyeing the woman inside. It really is her. Down to the last details. Golden hair, six limbs, six folded wings, and she looks massive. Probably as big as her statue just outside the cathedral. This is it. The very goddess in the history books, the one spoken about in legends and the one worshiped in the Churches of Sol.
“Can we free her?” he said.
The Great Grandfather nearly choked on his spit upon hearing those words. “Free her?! That could kill her! We don’t even understand this technology, let alone control it!” he said pointing at the panels. “The machines you see here are the best and most advanced we have based on what we can reverse engineer, but even then, the consequences of tampering with its functions may be disastrous!”
“I understand, Great Grandfather,” Mark said. “But we are in a dire situation, and the goddess may be our hope of turning this around. Whatever secrets of her tech that you don’t understand, wouldn’t she be able to teach us directly? What good is she floating around in Sol knows what?”
“That is her miraculous healing fluid. She had already built this contraption centuries ago in case anything were to happen to her, that her body’s natural healing could not sustain,” Aurelius said. “During the War of Darkness, Helena was struck with a weapon so deadly, her very cells began to tear away. The Reaper. Dealt to her by Absolem the progenitor. Her flesh was peeling from her body, and she began to decay whilst she still breathed. She entered this contraption and gave strict instructions to the Great Grandfather at the time, not to interrupt the healing process. The machine that monitored her, however, began to fail over time.”
“So this… these screens and panels…”
“Is only what functions we can understand. We took it upon ourselves to rebuild and study it the best we could. What we have right now is only a cheap imitation of a technology we do not fully comprehend,” he said. “It took us decades to even figure out the fundamentals and create a working prototype of this machine. By some miracle, the goddess’ healing process had remained even while we replaced components of technology ahead of ours.”
“But you know how to free her, don’t you?”
“I… yes.”
“Great Grandfather Aurelius,” Mark began. “We can end this war. Imagine what we could do with the goddess fighting on our side. We could advance even further, we could finally end the bloodshed, and we can show humanity that there is still hope. Imagine how people all over the world would feel seeing as their goddess has returned.”
“I wish I had your enthusiasm,” Aurelius said. “But it is simply too risky. The Church’s duty is to protect Helena and her legacy. We keep her alive, literally and figuratively. She nearly died the last time she was involved in a war. Would you risk losing the goddess?”
“Would you risk humanity losing?”
The Great Grandfather fell silent, looking back at Helena floating inside the tube, then to the panels that controlled it. He frowned and let out a long sigh. “The goddess said that we should not interrupt it. That it would end as soon as it was finished. Maybe we should trust her words.”
Mark shook his head. “I don’t spot a single blemish on the goddess. Not a single scratch,” he argued. “You said it yourself that the machine had begun to fail and you replaced components. How would you know that the thing that’s supposed to wake her up was not tampered with? Think about it. What you may think is a useless piece may be integral to the whole machine. Or maybe your replacements were not up to the task. Just because nothing’s happened doesn’t mean its functions have remained whole.”
“Young man, we simply cannot gamble with the goddess’ life here.”
“Have you no faith? Great Grandfather?”
Aurelius stepped back in shock. Mark’s companions looked at each other, clearly surprised as well. “Mark… I don’t think we should keep arguing with—” Olivia tried to say.
“No,” the colonel said firmly, cutting her off. “Great Grandfather Aurelius, do you think that Helena will not be able to pull through if we wake her? How long has it been? A century? How much longer will we wait? She may be immortal but humans aren’t.”
“I'm sorry, but the chances of failure are too high. The probability of her—”
“I don’t care about the probability! Would you rather put your faith in a statistic?!” Mark raised his voice. “I lost my mother to this war! My friends! My job! My eye, and almost my life! I’ve put mine on the line out there! You don’t know what it’s like out there! Was my mother’s death just a probability too? Was she just a statistic to you?! That as long as the numbers are good, no matter how many are lost, we are ‘winning’?!”
“Mark—!”
“No, Liv! He needs to know what’s really going on out there!” he spat. “Great Grandfather, with all due respect, but you don’t have a damn clue what it’s like to be in the field. You’re a man of faith, aren’t you? Take a risk. Everyone else has.”
Aurelius stood there, dumbfounded. He bit the inside of his cheeks and clenched his fists. “For your insolence, I would have had you flogged and stripped of your rank,” he glared at the young colonel. However, his features slowly softened, letting out a soft sigh. “But I have never seen such conviction. Mighty is your faith.”
The Great Grandfather moved over to the panels and reached into his robe, pulling out from around his neck a key with the symbol of the sun. He inserted it into the machine and turned. A beep sounded, right before Aurelius pulled a lever. In an instant, the fluid inside the glass chamber began to drain out into the tubes under it. Slowly, the chamber emptied and all that was left was the nude form of the goddess sitting in the glass.
“Did it work?” Louis asked, stepping forward and looking at the woman.
Aurelius stayed silent, his hands shaking in anticipation. Mark moved toward the glass chamber, when suddenly, the glass opened up like a door, releasing a fragrant mist. They stood there, watching for a whole minute. Nothing. At first nothing. The Great Grandfather looked like he was about to break down. His knees shook as he covered his mouth, thinking that he was responsible for the death of Helena.
That was when… a soft sound was heard. Movement. Olivia immediately went over to Mark and stood in front of him. Ready to protect him should anything happen. Slowly, the goddess moved more, her arms inched to the side.
Then, her eyes opened.

So guys, I have noted a pattern in the friendships that I have or the relations that I have (professional/cordial) etc. People do not consider me close to them, they will not share little details of their life or any issues they might have. Don't get me wrong,they don't treat me badly but they don't treat me great as well, even with the closest friends, I've seen that I'm unaware of a few things going on with them or if there has been a major change in their life in any aspect, I am never the first one usually that they will go to and share that with, except my boyfriend, he does share. So basically when I'm present physically they'll be good but otherwise of I were to disappear for a few months or so because of say study leave for my exams, then they wouldn't message me or put any effort to stay in touch. I'm really starting to think that something is wrong with me only? Or I'm selfish? Please someone throw some light and give perspectives. It'll be much appreciated.

A common claim in HP fandom is that Harry doesn’t appreciate Hermione enough. A weirder assertion I sometimes see is that Ron compliments or appreciates Hermione more than Harry.
Admittedly, Hermione does a lot for Harry throughout the books, and he doesn’t always express his thoughts directly to her. Nevertheless, there are many passages where Harry directly compliments Hermione (often using words of very high praise), as well as quite a few where he expresses his admiration of her to other people.
This essay will explore those complimentary passages from the books. I won’t include simple expressions of gratitude (though those exist too between Harry and Hermione), nor will I recount here the many passages where Harry merely thinks highly of Hermione or appreciates her without saying anything aloud. Frankly, that would make this essay much too long, and I want to focus on real compliments and praise.
After we’ve explored how Harry compliments Hermione along with her reactions, we’ll take a look at how Ron tends to praise Hermione, as well as the different way she reacts to both boys. Not surprisingly to most readers here, we’ll see that Harry is the boy Hermione truly loves praise from. Unfortunately in Ron’s case, his compliments almost never land well (if they land at all).
I’m going to keep the commentary shorter here on many passages, as this is primarily intended to be a list to demonstrate just how much Harry appreciates Hermione and thinks highly of her. Nevertheless, we’ll see a number of patterns emerge as we go through.

Harry’s direct compliments

Let’s begin with one of the most well-known interactions in the early books between Harry and Hermione (PS16):

Hermione’s lip trembled and she suddenly dashed at Harry and threw her arms around him.
‘Hermione!’
‘Harry – you’re a great wizard, you know.’
‘I’m not as good as you,’ said Harry, very embarrassed, as she let go of him.
‘Me!’ said Hermione. ‘Books! And cleverness! There are more important things – friendship and bravery and – oh Harry – be careful!’

There’s not much new to say about this passage—Harry is about to go on alone, putting himself in great danger. Hermione’s lip trembles in emotion, and she embraces Harry for the first time in the books, praising him as a “great wizard.” And yet, Harry claims he’s simply not as good as Hermione.
Still, the two of them go back and forth about it in a cute way, as Hermione then says “Me!” and proceeds to implicitly compliment Harry’s friendship and bravery further.
I mention this latter detail of the back-and-forth because it gets mirrored four years later, except this time with Harry being the one to say, “Me?” See OotP15:

‘Harry, you’re the best in the year at Defence Against the Dark Arts,’ said Hermione.
‘Me?’ said Harry, now grinning more broadly than ever. ‘No I’m not, you’ve beaten me in every test –’
‘Actually, I haven’t,’ said Hermione coolly. ‘You beat me in our third year – the only year we both sat the test and had a teacher who actually knew the subject. But I’m not talking about test results, Harry. Think what you’ve done!’

We know of Harry’s prowess at DADA. Can anyone forget the insanely powerful Patronus Harry conjured at the end of PoA, which Hermione noted was “very, very advanced magic”? It’s again cute that they get into a disagreement, both modestly trying to one-up the praise of the other here while claiming they themselves aren’t the best.
But I already skipped over another moment a few chapters earlier in OotP9:

[Ron] dashed from the room, leaving Harry and Hermione alone.
For some reason, Harry found he did not want to look at Hermione. He turned to his bed, picked up the pile of clean robes Mrs Weasley had laid on it and crossed the room to his trunk.
‘Harry?’ said Hermione tentatively.
‘Well done, Hermione,’ said Harry, so heartily it did not sound like his voice at all, and, still not looking at her, ‘brilliant. Prefect. Great.’
‘Thanks,’ said Hermione. ‘Erm – Harry – could I borrow Hedwig so I can tell Mum and Dad? They’ll be really pleased – I mean prefect is something they can understand.’

The circumstances are complicated here, because Harry’s feeling really conflicted about not getting a prefect’s badge. He doesn’t want to look at Hermione, because I think he feels like she’d be disappointed in him, as she was so enthusiastic about the idea of being prefect with him a few minutes before. I analyzed this whole section in greater depth in another essay, so I won’t get into all of that here.
For the present, let’s just note that Harry is feeling very emotional and is about to launch himself into one of the longest internal monologues in the books, feeling quite down about himself. Yet he still finds the strength to tell Hermione how “brilliant” he thinks she is. Even if he’s hurting and can’t even look at her, he wants her to know he’s proud of her.
This isn’t the only place where Harry spontaneously feels the need to give Hermione compliments even under less-than-ideal circumstances. He seems to place great importance in ensuring that Hermione knows how highly he thinks of her. We particularly see this later in the series. In HBP25, Hermione basically accuses Harry of being mildly sexist because he refuses to take her theory seriously that the “Prince” (the former owner of the potions book) might have been a woman:

‘Listen, Hermione, I can tell it’s not a girl. I can just tell.’
‘The truth is that you don’t think a girl would have been clever enough,’ said Hermione angrily.
‘How can I have hung round with you for five years and not think girls are clever?’ said Harry, stung by this.

Harry’s “stung” that Hermione would think of him as sexist, but he’s specifically disappointed because he knows how brilliant and clever Hermione is. He thinks she’s amazing and incredible and the best in his year at school. I wonder if this passage leads Harry to reflect a bit on how he may not always voice his opinion to Hermione enough, as there’s a marked change in DH, where Harry more frequently tells Hermione directly how highly he thinks of her.
For example, in DH9, in the scene after the trio was attacked by Dolohov and Rowle, Harry calls her “brilliant” for casting a memory charm:

She took a deep, calming breath, then pointed her wand at Dolohov’s forehead and said, ‘Obliviate.’
At once, Dolohov’s eyes became unfocused and dreamy.
‘Brilliant!’ said Harry, clapping her on the back. ‘Take care of the other one and the waitress while Ron and I clear up.’

Later, after Harry and Hermione escape Nagini’s attack at Bathilda Bagshot’s house, Harry calls her “incredible” (DH18):

‘You’re still really angry at me, aren’t you?’ said Hermione; he looked up to see fresh tears leaking out of her eyes, and knew that his anger must have shown in his face.
‘No,’ he said quietly. ‘No, Hermione, I know it was an accident. You were trying to get us out of there alive, and you were incredible. I’d be dead if you hadn’t been there to help me.’
He tried to return her watery smile, then turned his attention to the book.

As in the OotP passage where Harry is feeling depressed about the prefect’s badge, here Harry isn’t really ready to talk. His wand is broken, he was injured by Nagini, and he spent the night having visions of Voldemort killing his parents. It’s not at all an exaggeration to say this is probably the most dire part of Harry’s journey in the books. And yet he still values Hermione enough not only to agree to talk when he’s not ready, but also to immediately forgive her and call her “incredible” for her quick thinking the previous night.
Moreover, we can see how much this means to Hermione at that moment, as she smiles in gratitude at Harry, in contrast to her tear-streaked face.
Later in DH, after Hermione was tortured at Malfoy Manor, we again see Harry expressing his understanding and gratitude for Hermione when he first talks to her (DH24):

Harry had walked up several steps before stopping and looking back.
‘I need you two, as well!’ he called to Ron and Hermione, who had been skulking, half-concealed, in the doorway of the sitting room.
They both moved into the light, looking oddly relieved.
‘How are you?’ Harry asked Hermione. ‘You were amazing – coming up with that story when she was hurting you like that –’
Hermione gave a weak smile as Ron gave her a one-armed squeeze.

Harry calls her “amazing,” and once again Hermione smiles in reply. I should also pause here to note that these superlatives aren’t common for Harry. In fact, they’re unique to Hermione. Harry doesn’t call anyone else “amazing” or “incredible” anywhere in the books.
And these are far from the only times Hermione’s quick thinking saves the day. A few months earlier, she once again apparated Harry (and Ron too) away in mid-air to escape Luna’s father’s house, coming up with a detailed plan in a matter of seconds to hide Ron while exposing Harry during the escape (for strategic reasons). Harry then agrees Hermione is a genius and tells her doesn’t know what they’d do without her (DH22):

‘You’re a genius,’ Ron repeated, looking awed.
‘Yeah, you are, Hermione,’ agreed Harry fervently, ‘I don’t know what we’d do without you.’
She beamed, but became solemn at once.

I’d note another detail here. Ron does compliment Hermione too in this passage, calling her a “genius” multiple times. Yet it’s only once Harry finally tells her how much she means to him that Hermione “beams” in reply. (In a previous essay, I examined how frequently Hermione “beams” at Harry, much more than anyone else.)
This is a pattern we see repeatedly in the books, where Ron’s praise is ignored in favor of Harry’s. Perhaps the clearest example is in HBP9:

[Slughorn:] ‘Oho! “One of my best friends is Muggle-born and she’s the best in our year!” I’m assuming this is the very friend of whom you spoke, Harry?’
‘Yes, sir,’ said Harry.
‘Well, well, take twenty well-earned points for Gryffindor, Miss Granger,’ said Slughorn genially.
Malfoy looked rather as he had done the time Hermione had punched him in the face. Hermione turned to Harry with a radiant expression and whispered, ‘Did you really tell him I’m the best in the year? Oh, Harry!’
‘Well, what’s so impressive about that?’ whispered Ron, who for some reason looked annoyed. ‘You are the best in the year – I’d’ve told him so if he’d asked me!’
Hermione smiled but made a ‘shush’ing gesture, so that they could hear what Slughorn was saying. Ron looked slightly disgruntled.

Harry had already praised Hermione to Slughorn privately (a fact we’ll come back to), but hearing this praise from Harry causes Hermione to turn toward Harry with a “radiant expression,” overwhelmed with joy at the idea that Harry thought of her as the “best in the year.” (The word choice of “radiant” here is rather special for JKR, as I’ve noted in a previous essay.)
Meanwhile, poor Ron is off to the side, looking “slightly disgruntled” when Hermione shushes him in class for a similar remark.

Ron’s compliments to Hermione

Unfortunately for Ron, Hermione’s reaction in the Slughorn scene is typical. We’ve seen Hermione repeatedly smiling and looking radiant at Harry’s compliments, as well as reacting by praising him in return. Ron, on the other hand, is almost exclusively met with tepid if not outright negative reactions from Hermione even when he says nice things about her.
I drew on a list of Ron compliments created by Ron/Hermione shippers here, but the original list only gave Ron’s lines, without Hermione’s reactions, which I’ve restored below. (The reason for the omission of Hermione’s responses will soon become clear.)
Ron first shows genuine admiration for Hermione back in PoA15 when she slaps Draco and then storms out of Divination. However, the first time Ron actually tries to express this appreciation verbally probably happens in OotP12:

[Hermione:] ‘About You-Know-Who. He said his “gift for spreading discord and enmity is very great. We can fight it only by showing an equally strong bond of friendship and trust –”’
‘How do you remember stuff like that?’ asked Ron, looking at her in admiration.
‘I listen, Ron,’ said Hermione, with a touch of asperity.
‘So do I, but I still couldn’t tell you exactly what –’
‘The point,’ Hermione pressed on loudly, ‘is that this sort of thing is exactly what Dumbledore was talking about. You-Know-Who’s only been back two months and we’ve already started fighting among ourselves. And the Sorting Hat’s warning was the same: stand together, be united –’

Although this isn’t a direct compliment, we’re told that Ron is actually looking at Hermione “in admiration.” Unlike his more typical annoyance with her, he’s actually impressed here by her memory. And yet Hermione responds with “asperity,” harshly putting him down for not listening better. When Ron gets defensive and tries to react, Hermione “loudly” talks over him and essentially ignores Ron completely.
This is far from the only time Hermione will ignore Ron’s occasional kind words, because she clearly knows it’s unusual behavior. She tells us this directly (OotP14):

‘OK, write that down,’ Hermione said to Ron, pushing his essay and a sheet covered in her own writing back to Ron, ‘then add this conclusion I’ve written for you.’
‘Hermione, you are honestly the most wonderful person I’ve ever met,’ said Ron weakly, ‘and if I’m ever rude to you again –’
‘– I’ll know you’re back to normal,’ said Hermione.

Ron was trying to thank her for help with his homework, but Hermione recognizes this praise as obviously transactional. She has noticed he’s only nice to her when she does things for him, but otherwise his “normal” behavior toward her is a bit rude. (As a sidenote: we’ve already seen Harry repeatedly refer to Hermione as “brilliant.” Ron, in contrast, does call Hermione sort of “brilliant” twice, both times sarcastically referring to theories or ideas he thinks are ridiculous. See CoS13, DH25.)
Ron’s attempts at recognizing Hermione’s achievements also look very different from Harry’s. In HBP5, when Hermione is worrying about her O.W.L. exam performance, Ron does acknowledge Hermione’s academic performance a couple times, in passages that Ron/Hermione fans will point to as evidence of his supposed admiration.
Yet they don’t come off as compliments. They are aggressive and exasperated and almost making fun of Hermione at the end. And look how Hermione reacts:

‘Hermione, will you shut up, you’re not the only one who’s nervous!’ barked Ron. ‘And when you’ve got your ten “Outstanding” O.W.L.s ...’
‘**Don’t, don’t, don’t!’ said Hermione, flapping her hands hysterically. ‘**I know I’ve failed everything!’
[…]
‘I – not bad,’ said Hermione in a small voice.
‘Oh, come off it,’ said Ron, striding over to her and whipping her results out of her hand. ‘Yep – nine “Outstandings” and one “Exceeds Expectations” in Defence Against the Dark Arts.’ He looked down at her, half-amused, half-exasperated. ‘You’re actually disappointed, aren’t you?’
Hermione shook her head, but Harry laughed.

So yes, Ron acknowledges her achievements here, but he does so in the process of telling her to “shut up,” barking at her, and then becoming “exasperated” at her personal goals. I think we can all take a step back and acknowledge that Hermione is a fairly extreme perfectionist, and her level of anxiety at potentially “failing everything” comes across as weird and a bit irrational. Still, rather than helping her “calm down” (as many Ron/Hermione fans would say Ron does), Ron exacerbates Hermione’s level of disquiet, causing her to become “hysterical” and then later embarrassed, reacting in a “small voice.”
Harry would have just clapped her on the back and called her “brilliant” or something, to which she’d probably smile in reply. Harry doesn’t share Hermione’s level of academic dedication, but he still appreciates it, rather than trying to shame Hermione for being an overachiever. Yet Ron manages to make her uncomfortable in several different ways in this scene, even as he recognizes how well she would do.
And we’ve only started on the types of negative reactions Hermione has to Ron’s attempts at recognizing her achievements. In HBP21 after apparition practice in Hogsmeade, Ron cuts in to call her performance “perfect”:

‘Good one,’ said Harry. ‘How’d you do, Hermione?’
‘Oh, she was perfect, obviously,’ said Ron, before Hermione could answer. ‘Perfect deliberation, divination and desperation, or whatever the hell it is – we all went for a quick drink in the Three Broomsticks after and you should’ve heard Twycross going on about her – I’ll be surprised if he doesn’t pop the question soon –’
‘And what about you?’ asked Hermione, ignoring Ron.

Ron’s praise is undermined with the dismissive “whatever the hell it is,” once again making it clear that he doesn’t value Hermione’s attention to detail and high standards. Hermione’s response is, reasonably, then to simply ignore Ron.
Admittedly, Ron appears to realize some of his failings and makes an attempt in Deathly Hallows, reading the Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches book and trying to learn how to compliment a girl. It unfortunately doesn’t go quite smoothly for Ron at first (DH7):

Hermione made purple and gold streamers erupt from the end of her wand and drape themselves artistically over the trees and bushes.
‘Nice,’ said Ron, as with one final flourish of her wand, Hermione turned the leaves on the crab-apple tree to gold. ‘You’ve really got an eye for that sort of thing.’
‘Thank you, Ron!’ said Hermione, looking both pleased and a little confused. Harry turned away, smiling to himself. He had a funny notion that he would find a chapter on compliments when he found time to peruse his copy of Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches […].

Ron arguably is trying here, but as we know from OotP, Hermione knows Ron’s more typical reaction toward her isn't as positive. Hence we see her a “little confused” yet still somewhat pleased.
This kind of dual reaction from Hermione is usually the best Ron can hope for. Unlike Hermione’s instant smiles and happiness from Harry’s compliments, she views Ron with suspicion. Hermione always appears to keep in mind that Ron’s pleasant reactions are atypical and thus not to be trusted. We see this again as Hermione enters before Bill and Fleur’s wedding, wearing a lovely dress (DH8):

‘[…] wow,’ [Ron] added, blinking rather rapidly as Hermione came hurrying towards them. ‘You look great!’
‘Always the tone of surprise,’ said Hermione, though she smiled.

Note the “though she smiled” qualification here, which is pointing out that Hermione’s reaction is not exactly positive and possible unkind. Hermione is here making a reference to an earlier conversation after the Seven Potters. When Tonks mentioned how “great” Ron was stunning a Death Eater, Hermione reacted positively with “you did?” Hermione was sincerely proud of Ron at that moment, hugging him, and yet Ron reacted with the phrase “Always the tone of surprise,” rejecting her and breaking off from her embrace.
Admittedly, Ron was a bit right in that scene to acknowledge that Hermione almost never recognizes his achievements. Yet in the wedding scene, we see Hermione throw that verbal dig back at Ron, effectively taking what appears to be a more sincere compliment from Ron and undermining it. She’s telling him (and the reader) that he doesn’t generally find her attractive and wouldn’t typically say such a nice thing to her.
In effect, she’s somewhat begrudgingly smiling while taking a swipe at Ron’s more typical behavior.
[[EDIT: After more discussion in comments, I want to acknowledge there's another way of viewing this line at the wedding, where Hermione's potentially being more playful. I didn't actually include that potential interpretation here because I feel like it comes across as Hermione not taking Ron's earlier line seriously, in effect making her be insensitive to Ron's insecurities by cracking a joke based on a place where he's legitimately feeling underappreciated. Still, it's a possible alternate interpretation here, and you can see more discussion of it in comments below linked here.]]
There’s really only one time in the books that I have found where Hermione actually reacts positively (without qualification) to Ron’s praise. That occurs in DH9 after she reveals how she had packed so much in her beaded bag in preparation for the Horcrux hunt and emergencies:

‘I told you at The Burrow, I’ve had the essentials packed for days, you know, in case we needed to make a quick getaway. I packed your rucksack this morning, Harry, after you changed, and put it in here ... I just had a feeling …’
‘You’re amazing, you are,’ said Ron, handing her his bundled-up robes.
‘Thank you,’ said Hermione, managing a small smile as she pushed the robes into the bag. ‘Please, Harry, get that Cloak on!’

We see her here at least giving Ron a “small smile,” though she quickly turns to Harry, more concerned again about him. Still, it’s a legitimate positive reaction to a compliment from Ron. We shouldn’t have to pause and reflect on that so much, except for the fact that this is a rather unique occurrence. Every other time Ron says something nice about Hermione, she basically ignores it, gets annoyed, dismisses it, gets suspicious or confused, or has some other negative reaction like we saw.
And even this one pleasant moment between Ron and Hermione is immediately undermined a few pages later:

Ron struggled for a moment before managing to extract his wand from his pocket.
‘It’s no wonder I can’t get it out, Hermione, you packed my old jeans, they’re tight.’
‘Oh, I’m so sorry,’ hissed Hermione, and as she dragged the waitress out of sight of the windows Harry heard her mutter a suggestion as to where Ron could stick his wand instead.

Yes, Ron was happy for a moment and praised Hermione for packing his stuff, but it turns out she did it wrong in Ron’s eyes. She packed the wrong jeans, and Hermione reacts very negatively, telling Ron to shove his wand up his arse. Hermione here must feel like Ron is conforming to the behavior she described back in OotP—he’s only nice until he turns back to his “normal” negative behavior toward her.

Harry complimenting Hermione to other people

We don’t really have space here to investigate the many other times Harry thinks highly of Hermione, is grateful for her, or appreciates some aspect of her in his internal thoughts. But it’s perhaps useful to end this exploration by noting how many other times Harry still manages to praise Hermione verbally, unprompted, to other people.
We can start with the scene that inspired Slughorn in the quotation discussed above, where Ron was disgruntled at Hermione’s ecstatic reaction to Harry’s compliment. See HBP4:

[Slughorn:] ‘Your mother was Muggle-born, of course. Couldn’t believe it when I found out. Thought she must have been pure-blood, she was so good.’
‘One of my best friends is Muggle-born,’ said Harry, ‘and she’s the best in our year.’

Note that there’s really no good reason for Harry to praise Hermione so specifically and highly here. Slughorn was discussing Lily, and Harry could have simply countered with the fact that he had talented Muggle-born friends too. Yet he singles out Hermione to compare to his mother’s talent and goes further—calling her the best student in his year.
Ron never has a comparable passage in the books. Many of his compliments or nice moments are very situational with Hermione, not spontaneous praise. This is probably one reason why Hermione also shushes Ron when he tries to echo Harry later with Slughorn: she knows if Harry said something, he meant it and wasn’t just trying to flatter her or be nice because of the situation.
The best Ron can manage on a couple occasions are vague acknowledgments to Harry about Hermione. Such as CoS14:

“What does she understand?” said Harry distractedly, still looking around, trying to tell where the voice had come from.
“Loads more than I do,” said Ron, shaking his head.

Not exactly a compliment, but this one makes lists of Ron’s compliments sometimes, just because it’s so rare for Ron to say something even this nice about Hermione. Even when Ron is clearly impressed by Hermione slapping Draco and then storming out of Trelawney’s class in PoA15, the most he can manage to say to Harry is:

‘Some day Hermione’s having, eh?’ Ron muttered to Harry, looking awed.

We’re told that Ron’s “looking awed” here, but he still can barely say anything directly praiseworthy about her.
[[EDIT: After posting this essay, I found another Ron line that wasn't included in the Ron/Hermione compliments lists I consulted, but in fairness to Ron, he does say this in PoA16:

‘Hermione, I don’t know what’s got into you lately!’ said Ron, astounded. ‘First you hit Malfoy, then you walk out on Professor Trelawney –’
Hermione looked rather flattered.

So - I will give Ron appropriate credit here and note it's a place where Hermione actually looks flattered. I am offering this correction because I found this line late and don't want to misrepresent the Ron/Hermione evidence.]]
Meanwhile, Harry simply cannot stop himself from saying how amazing Hermione is. As far back as CoS2:

‘Harry Potter asks if he can help Dobby ... Dobby has heard of your greatness, sir, but of your goodness, Dobby never knew ...’
Harry, who was feeling distinctly hot in the face, said, ‘Whatever you’ve heard about my greatness is a load of rubbish. I’m not even top of my year at Hogwarts, that’s Hermione, she –’
But he stopped quickly, because thinking about Hermione was painful.

Remember when we saw that Hermione tried to compliment Harry and tell him he was a great wizard in PS or the best in DADA in OotP? Harry couldn’t help deferring to Hermione, trying to praise her as better. The same thing happens when Dobby speaks of Harry’s “greatness” here—and Harry immediately thinks of the greatest person he knows: Hermione Granger.
Harry can’t even let the Quidditch team think he was smart enough to come up with the Impervius Charm for his glasses (originally during the Quidditch match back in PoA9). When Angelina proposes using the spell again in OotP18, Harry simply has to give Hermione credit:

[Angelina:] ‘[…] Harry, didn’t you do something to your glasses to stop the rain fogging them up when we played Hufflepuff in that storm?’
‘Hermione did it,’ said Harry. He pulled out his wand, tapped his glasses and said, ‘Impervius!’

It’s not exactly a compliment, but it just shows yet again how much he wants everyone to know how amazing Hermione is.
This reflex Harry has to praise Hermione comes up in the strangest places, getting him into arguments with his love interests. When Cho brings up the jinx that resulted in Marietta’s outbreak of pimples, Harry can’t help contradicting her (OotP28):

‘That was a really horrible trick of Hermione Granger’s,’ said Cho fiercely. ‘She should have told us she’d jinxed that list –’
‘I think it was a brilliant idea,’ said Harry coldly. Cho flushed and her eyes grew brighter.
‘Oh yes, I forgot – of course, if it was darling Hermione’s idea –’

Cho is actually quite insightful about the role of Hermione in Harry’s life here. She earlier got jealous when Harry prioritized Hermione on Valentine’s Day, and now she gets annoyed at how “brilliant” Harry considered “darling Hermione’s idea.”
Just as in Quidditch with his glasses, Harry can’t help acknowledging Hermione’s brilliance, even with another girl he likes. He could have been a little more diplomatic with Cho in disagreeing with her, but instead his reflex is to defend Hermione.
Perhaps the most absurd moment of praise for Hermione randomly comes up as Harry’s breaking up with Ginny (HBP30):

‘I never really gave up on you,’ [Ginny] said. ‘Not really. I always hoped ... Hermione told me to get on with life, maybe go out with some other people, relax a bit around you, because I never used to be able to talk if you were in the room, remember? And she thought you might take a bit more notice if I was a bit more – myself.’
‘Smart girl, that Hermione,’ said Harry, trying to smile.

Think about what’s going on in this moment. Ginny just admitted how strong her feelings for Harry are, that she “never really gave up” on him, from when she was a young girl. She’s effectively trying to inform him of her commitment, of his status as her first love. If Harry had deep feelings for Ginny, we might expect him at this point to recognize how long Ginny had cared, how much she had tried to learn to be “herself” around him, to get him to notice her.
And instead the first words from Harry’s lips are to acknowledge how smart Hermione is. He’s breaking up with his girlfriend… and praising another girl’s intelligence? I know Harry can be rather thick sometimes, but this is not the thing to do in the middle of a break-up. It’s no wonder Cho was so jealous of Hermione.

Conclusion

Once again, as in many of my other essays, I think we can see patterns emerging around Harry and Hermione’s unique relationship. We see them repeatedly praising each other spontaneously. And Harry can’t help but blurt out how brilliant Hermione is to other people, even in situations where it’s arguably inappropriate.
Ron’s efforts at compliments are nothing like that, unfortunately. We might even feel a bit bad for him when he does begin to make an effort in DH, as it’s clear Ron is never going to have the impact on Hermione that Harry’s compliments do.
I mentioned at the outset that there are many people who say Harry isn’t appreciative enough toward Hermione. It’s true that we don’t hear him say it aloud all the time, particularly in the early books. Yet it’s very clear even in the first book that Harry thinks Hermione is a better wizard than he is. And he doesn’t hesitate to tell her, or to announce it to Dobby in CoS.
As the series progresses, Harry’s outward appreciation increases, to the point where we see him calling her “amazing” and “incredible” and the “best in our year,” terms that he only ever says about Hermione. Perhaps even more importantly, we see that Hermione knows how special she is to Harry, how sincere his compliments are, as we see her repeatedly responding with emotional smiles and even a “radiant expression” to these words.
I didn’t even explore most of the passages where Hermione praises or compliments Harry in the books (and there are plenty more of those too), but we can see the strength of Harry and Hermione’s friendship and care for each other. They both strive to raise each other up, especially in stressful times when they need it the most.
I’d like to acknowledge members of the HMS Harmony Discord server for their support and suggestions. Specifically, thanks to Jiraffas for suggesting an essay on this topic. Thanks for Dragonfly for convincing me to include a section on Harry complimenting Hermione to other people and for reminding me of the Angelina moment in OotP. In general, I’m grateful for the discussion and commentary from the Harmony community.
If there are any moments you think I missed, please point them out in comments! I’d like this essay to be a resource for those who want to debunk fandom claims concerning Harry’s supposed lack of appreciation toward Hermione.

I want to make a list of red flags to avoid. I’d be interested in seeing what you think is important in the comments. You can instead choose to also share green flags, if you prefer here: https://www.reddit.com/self/s/kHKmSzjcL5.
I’ll start the list here (some are obvious but here for a reminder):

1. Someone who has never remained single between relationships.
   
2. Someone who has cheated on their partner before.
   
3. Someone who doesn’t set boundaries with ex’s or people they have physically and emotionally been involved with in the past. In other words, if they have kept previous doors slightly open to go back to.
   
4. Someone who has slept with their ex between relationships (as a repeated pattern for a long period of time)
   
5. Someone who gives ultimatums, especially ultimatums to get engaged or married or else they will leave you (within the first year or so of knowing you)
   
6. Someone who uses sex to trap others.
   
7. Someone who thinks that they have all the right answers and always knows best (arrogance)
   
8. Someone who doesn’t really have other healthy relationships and friendships (at least 1 or 2)
   
9. Someone who cannot take responsibility for their hurtful words, behaviors, or actions and apologize, but instead holds grudges, becomes bitter fast.
   
10. Someone who is greedy after money and climbing the social ladder (gold digger). That is - they are more interested in your earning potential or status or material success than you as a person.
    

…

Just my opinion on some of the questions and theories floating around this case.
For my answers I'll use a 1-10 scale. 10 = Certain. 1 = impossible.
These are in no particular order.

1. Maura hit Petrite Vasi.

Rating: 2
While a car accident would clearly fall into Maura's pattern of behavior, it doesn't seem to work logistically for her to be over there in her car and make it back to her shift. Most close to the case don't seem to think she's connected.

1. Maura's troubling behavior prior to the disappearance played a role on route 112.

Rating: 8
Maura was making bad decisions leading up to February 9th, and I believe it only makes sense that she continued to make bad decisions after the crash. I think it's quite unlikely Maura reacted rationally and something just randomly bad happened to her.

1. How troubled was Maura in the last few years prior to her disappearance?

Rating: 7
Maura was fundamentally a good person with obvious strengths, but it's clear she was going through something beyond just a rebellious college phase. An eating disorder, minor credit card fraud, theft, speeding ticket, multiple car crashes, likely drinking and driving multiple times, lying, emotional breakdown at work, cheating. These are the signs of someone having significant issues that her family seem to have been mostly unaware of at the time. She was still doing well in school and maintained good friendships, though. Had the disappearance not happened, she likely would have needed counselling or some sort of intervention.

1. Maura ran into the woods at the crash site and passed away near the crash site.

Rating: 3
This remains one of the more popular theories in the case and in some ways feels like the most logical ending to this sad situation. But there are so many barriers to this actually occurring. Why were her remains not found almost immediately? Why haven't her clothes or backpack been located? How and why did she make her way through the woods in complete darkness? Footprints? Why haven't the search teams found her? There's just so much against this theory to make it impractical for me.

1. Maura got away that night and started a new life.

Rating: 2
There is zero evidence that Maura was intending to start a new life that night. Successfully pulling something like that off would require a bunch of help and incredible luck. Maura is one of the most famous missing persons cases in history, so a simple trip to the gas station could have her found out. Next to impossible.

1. Maura is still alive today.

Rating: 2
The consensus from the family and most close to the case is that Maura is no longer with us. Numerous family members passing away without Maura reappearing seem to indicate that, if she is alive, she's in a situation so dire that it's better not to even imagine it.

1. Maura was picked up by a tandem driver that night.

Rating: 2
Maura was alone at the atm. She didn't email or call anyone about meeting up there. Maura never mentioned that there was someone coming back to help her to Butch. If someone did double back to pick her up, they would likely have at least taken a look at the car together. This theory seems highly unlikely to me.

1. Maura went up to the White Mountains to end her life.

Rating: 4
Maura brought her birth control with her along with her homework. These don't seem to be the actions of someone about to commit suicide. She was clearly troubled, though, so it can't be completely discounted.

1. Maura got lost in the woods away from the crash site and perished.

Rating: 4
This seems more plausible than running into the woods at the crash site, but still would requite ending her life in the woods in a way that she is never found for 20 years. I don' buy it.

1. Butch had something to do with Maura's disappearance.

Rating: 2
Whatever you think of Butch, you would agree that Maura's accident just happened upon him: he wasn't expecting that to occur that night, so it's not like he had a devious plan in place. He told his wife when he went inside and called authorities almost immediately, suggesting innocence. His age and weight don't make for a compelling case, either.

1. Maura was picked up by an opportunistic serial killer type.

Rating: 4
While statistically unlikely. something had to have happened that night that was unusual, so you can't discount this completely. Being picked up by Ted Bundy riding around was a low probability event, but it still happened to several women. Still, with how isolated the location is and the narrow window of time, this seems quite implausible.

1. Maura was picked up by someone who brought her harm.

Rating: 8
Lastly, this seems the most reasonable. Maura was somewhat of a risk taker, so jumping in a car seems to fit her profile. This could have happened within seconds, which is why people nearby didn't see anything. The person who did this doesn't have to be a career criminal, simply a guy who wanted to get physical with Maura, she protested, and things escalated. He then could have buried her on his private property, which is why there's really no trace. He's the only one who would know this happened, and if he has since moved, died or been imprisoned for an unrelated crime we may never get an answer.

I know no one can tell me what to do…BUT from the outside looking in do you think I’m settling for less than the full manifestation?
SP reached out after a couple weeks to say hello. (I wasn’t surprised bc he’d said he wanted friendship.)
Our full blown, loving committed relationship isn’t in the 3D yet.
*some ppl say don’t accept ‘crumbs’ aka a quick hello text. Hold out for the full profession of undying love. * others say act as if I’m already wife
Im caught between the 2. I ended up feeling into my wifey status + responding after 24 hrs. My 🩷 leapt with joy when he responded to that within seconds!! Excited to hear back from me.
Then I responded … and was left on read. Luckily- I used that to move QUICKLY through and past the old story. Completely detached from the old patterns of giving it meaning.
My question remains - do you think I’m jumping too fast and need to not accept less than full manifestation? I mean — I see flowers 💐 on my doorstep and deep devotion in my visions.

As some background, my son and step daughter never really grew up together. We got married when they were 18, only dated for around a year before that, and all of our children were out of the house and at school at that point. When Covid hit they all got apartments with friends. We all get together during the holidays and for some birthdays. They were partnered together for the wedding party, but that was as close as they really got. They never even had each other's contact info or social medias.
At the end of last summer, they both moved in with us due to unforeseen financial difficulties. They were both polite with each other, but it was always a bit awkward, but they both are a bit awkward regardless. Almost overnight though they were best friends, going to conventions together, playing video games together, practically doing everything together. My husband and I were elated, considering the rest of our children were all friends and those two were always the "odd ones out".
Over the coming months I noticed some stuff that made me think. It was never anything too big; they were just spending a lot of time together, bringing each other Starbucks or something, out late together, noises late at night I chose to ignore, he'd compliment her nails or other things men don't often notice, and there were some looks and small touches that just struck me as odd. They are both now financially sound and working fantastic jobs, but they are both dragging their feet on moving out, which I can’t help but associate with this. Also, neither of them have, that I know of, even tried to date these last few months. In more recent months, the patterns have continued and increased, and I am frankly completely convinced they are at the very least romantically involved.
My step daughter's birthday is next week, and my son was super excited to show us her gift. It was an anime statue that he paid a lot of money for and I admit I know practically nothing about, but I'm sure she'd love it. Funny enough, the catalyst in why I believe they're dating is because the look on his face when he asked us if we thought she'd like it was a definitely a nervous boy in love. It was actually really sweet, but it was all the confirmation I needed, haha.
I do think it's important to note that neither of them have ever been open with their personal lives. I only know my son's best friend's name because of Instagram, and my step daughter dated a guy for a little over a year that none of us had ever even heard about until after they broke up. Additionally, I absolutely adore my step daughter, and I want to make it clear this is not about me disliking her.
Now where my dilemma lies. A huge part of me wants to confront one or both of them with the question, however if I am wrong (which I don't think I am!) I feel like that could backfire and push them away, or ruin the good friendship they've made. I also don't want to be right, and both of them become uncomfortable regardless. But if I pretend it isn't happening I think it will eventually eat away at me until I disintegrate into nothing. The mom in me wants to tell them to stop, that this is inappropriate, and that if they want to be intimate it can't be under my roof, but I am certainly aware of how irrational that sounds. The more I think about the concept the less them being step siblings bothers me, but I do want them both to be aware that this comes with some stigma. Even though they never grew up together they are siblings by law, and perusing a relationship would come with some outside judgment, right? I don't want to push either of them away or make anyone uncomfortable, and I think sometimes I'm crazy (husband doesn't see it, but l'm calling that daddy's little girl syndrome) but the more l see the more I'm convinced. Ultimately they're both consenting adults with seemingly no unhealthy habits and who seem to find comfort in each other. I want both of them to be happy, and maybe I'm just nosy, but not knowing is driving me insane. I don't want my nosiness to be the downfall of my relationships with either of them.
TL;DR I'm almost certain my son and step daughter are romantically involved, however i'm not sure how to proceed, or if I even should.