Does lunesta caus night mares

This is a really long story but I’ve been so desperate to just tell it from start to finish so thank you in advance if you make it all the way through.
To provide context to the rest of the story, I (22f) was in a very bad, very controlling relationship for three years. Near to the start of this relationship, I worked at an escape room where I met an awesome group of people and we started to play DND together – DM’d by the guy who ended up becoming my best friend, we'll call him Brad (23m). My ex got worse over time in various ways, but one of which was his jealousy which seemed to focus on Brad. Every time that I would go to DND I would have to remind my ex that Brad was already in a relationship with his long-time partner, Bella, and therefore he did not have feelings for me. This came up constantly and was always a fight.
It was incredibly difficult to escape, but with the support of my three closest friends, Jenna (23f), Millie (26f), and Brad, eventually I got out. I moved back in with my mum, but I was in a very bad mental state at the time and would do everything in my power not to be alone. For this reason, I would have sleepovers at all my close friends’ houses as often as I could – sleeping in Brad and Bella’s closet when I would stay at theirs. I did become closer with all of the other members of my DND group too (there were 7 of us in total) but for the purposes of keeping things simple I will focus on these four. I leaned on these friendships hard. All my friendships had been so monitored and controlled for years before this and I was so excited to be a normal adult finally. For about six months, life was amazing.
It was some time around October that I met my now partner (22m) and we started to form a relationship. He was kind and funny and I was so excited to share it with all my friends. Brad always seemed apprehensive about it, but I figured that was just because of my previous relationship. It was also around this time that Brad started struggling with something but wouldn’t share what. Jenna and I genuinely theorised that he was terminally ill with the way that he was acting. One night, I had driven Brad home from work, and I used the opportunity to ask about it because everyone was really worried. After a bit of coaxing, he told me that he thought that he was polyamorous. He had been with Bella for about five years at this point and he was worried by revealing this to her that he would destroy their relationship. He said that aside from his therapist, I was the first person that he had told and asked me not to tell anyone, which I obviously agreed to. Eventually he told her, and they told the group together, and said that they were going to make it work.
It was about December now, and I moved jobs and fell into a depressive episode. I stopped seeing my friends very much at all, and at the worse of it I had made an attempt at my life. My partner was amazing through this considering how little time we had been together, and not long after I started to get help and rebuild. When I tried to rejoin DND, everything felt different. Brad was suddenly talking over me when my character would try to speak up, wouldn’t have NPCs speak to my character, and really he would hardly look at me. I had tried to meet up with Jenna, Millie, and Brad, to tell them about what had happened with me during my episode, but Brad blew me off every time. I was so stressed that I had done something wrong, but I couldn’t figure out what since I had been away for the past couple of months.
Finally, shit really hit the fan in May at Millie’s wedding. I was standing with Bella while she told the story about her and Brad working out polyamory, and in telling the story she said that she had been the first person that he had told. This threw me for a loop, since I knew that he had told me first, and it massively irked me that he had hid that from her. I left the conversation to find Jenna to tell her, to which she took me aside and told me that Brad had been in love with me for a while now, and I had caused a lot of issues in his and Bella’s relationship. I felt awful for the rest of the wedding and sat on the cold street to vent this all to my partner.
I went to a few DND sessions after that, but I felt so self-conscious about the arguments that I had apparently caused between two friends, and since Brad was basically ignoring me in the sessions anyway, I decided one day to send a short and sweet message to the group thanking them for the years of fun, but that I would be dropping out for now.
My first regret was, when Brad pressed about why I had left, softening the blow as much as possible. I did tell him that I knew about his feelings, but I said that I was mainly leaving for my mental health, which was not true as I was in a much better spot at this point. He was very angry at Jenna for telling me, but otherwise the conversation was fairly civil. He apologised, gave me more context, explained that that was why he had been distant, confirmed that I had been a big issue in his and Bella’s relationship, and explained that I was the reason that he had figured out that he was polyamorous – I expect from me staying over at their house so often. Finally, he told me that I would be welcome back to DND at any time. I said that I was frustrated that he hadn’t spoken to me like an adult because I just thought that he had hated me, and he said that I was just a complicated situation. He also told me not to tell anyone about any of it, but especially Bella that we had had that conversation as he wanted to be the one to do it. Fine. I was upset, but I still figured that I would be able to return to the group at that point.
Months pass, and I haven’t been to any group events for a combination of reasons. I feel too uncomfortable to face Brad and Bella, I figure that removing myself from the situation is the kindest thing to do to give them space, and since I can’t tell anyone else about what happened, I feel socially a bit isolated. No worries, I can rejoin the group again when I feel comfortable, right? I have Millie over one day and she asks why I left. After a bit of back and forth, I think that she knows some level of what happened, but more than that I am just desperate to get this off my chest, so I give a brief, sympathetic overview of the situation. She is an amazing listening ear, which was exactly what I needed because this had been eating me away, and she is very mature when I ask this to not affect her relationship with him. Little did I know that I had just thrown a match into a powder keg.
I’m not totally clear on what happened, but basically Brad hadn’t told Bella that we had had a conversation. Millie accidentally revealed that I had told her, and Bella (rightfully so honestly) was furious with Brad, who then was furious at me for telling Millie. In this second conversation with him, I explained that I had thought that Millie had known to a degree anyway. He kept going on about how much of an impact this had made to his and Bella’s relationship, and I got frustrated and explained that they were actually the sole reason that I had left the group when I did, and it had had a massive impact on me too. He got apologetic, but in retrospect I think it was just trying to tide me over. He told me that Bella was uncomfortable when he and I were in a room together, which put the final nail in the coffin for my hopes to ever return to the group. He still swung the conversation back around to how hard it had all been for them and ended the conversation with a long list of Bella’s insecurities. In retrospect, this was a bit random and I’m not sure why he did that. In any case, I responded with a big paragraph refuting each of her insecurities one by one and talking about how great she is. I wish that I had just sent this message straight to her, as honestly, I doubt, she would have ever seen it.
So now we’ve had two conversations, and I don’t see any way that I can return to the group. Months later again, and I see them for the first time at a Halloween party. I had made a great new group of friends at this party, and given the history, I thought that it was fairly reasonable not to go up and have a chat with them. At one point, I am talking with someone when Brad walks up, without Bella, and says hi to me. Maybe I was petty, but considering Bella wasn’t even there and one of the last things that he had told me was that Bella was uncomfortable when he and I were in a room together, I wasn’t particularly excited to chat. I just said a cordial hi, stayed in the conversation for a minute longer, and then migrated away.
Honestly, I hadn’t even thought twice about this. By this point, I hadn’t seen Jenna for maybe six months, and the rest of the DND group for even longer. The only one who I’ve stayed in contact with is Millie. One day, I ask Millie out for coffee, and about halfway through she has this look of realisation pass her face. She tells me that “she thought I knew” and that was why I had asked her out for coffee. Knew what? Well apparently, Brad and Bella had organised basically a formal meeting with the whole friend group to tell them what had happened with me on that night. Obviously, they had not told me. Millie is amazing and relays to me what happens at the meeting which thankfully is fairly true, but there are two points that irk me. One is that it is entirely “woe is them” focussed, as if I didn’t lose all of my friends, and two is that Brad makes a remark that he thinks that I knew the whole time that he had feeling for me and that I wasn’t just innocent and naive. This is infuriating for me for reasons that I will get to. What actually breaks my heart is that apparently Jenna got up at the meeting and apologised to everyone for telling me in the first place. After that, I had two more people from the group reach out and reconnect, but not everyone and not Jenna.
This all started in July of 2022, and it’s now May of 2024, so I’m largely over it, but here are some of my feelings on the matter. One, I know that I am non-confrontational, and as much as it was initially supposed to be a kindness, I do think there was an element of running away from my problems. Two, my family and close friends kept telling me that I should send screenshots of everything to group chats or tell everyone my perspective. I think that more than anything, I had already lost everyone, and I really didn’t want to turn the group against each other. I think that would have been vindictive and petty and not me. Three, maybe I should have seen the signs that he had feelings for me earlier on, and I feel a lot of guilt about that. However, I had the exact same relationship with him as I did with Millie and Jenna, and I’ve always been of the belief that males and females can absolutely be friends. Maybe my relationships with Millie and Jenna were too close too, but after having been socially isolated for three years I suppose I was and still am hazy about where the boundaries lie. To be so clear, though, nothing ever actually happened. The best clue that I can recall was when he would say I love you man, but that’s the kind of thing that we all said to each other. Otherwise, as far as I was aware, we were just really close friends. Furthermore, I had also just come out of a long-term relationship, where I was frequently convincing my ex that Brad did not have feelings for me. I never told anyone that part because I didn’t want Brad to blame himself, but now that I’ve found out I was wrong, I’ve been going down a spiral about what else my ex may have been right about and what other behaviours he had that may have been justified. I digress. I’ve mourned the loss of my friends and support network more times than I can count, and I am aware that I could have fought to stay in the group and Brad isn’t entirely to blame for that, but it does really frustrate me that, as was clear in the board meeting he and Bella held about me, what I have been through does not seem to even cross their minds. Brad was supposed to have been my best friend. Although, now I can’t help but feel like he, intentionally or not, saw me at a vulnerable point and took advantage of it to get inappropriately close to me, and we were never really “best friends”. If I could erase our entire friendship, I would in a heartbeat. At least then I would still have the rest of my friends. I am open to hearing what people have to say, but as far as I am aware my only crime was being naïve. There are honestly so many more details but this post is already obscenely long. My final note is that my partner is the real MVP as he probably heard me vent and cry about this two dozen times and supported me through all of it. Thank you so much for reading if you made it this far.

Hi everyone, new here and hoping for help and advice
I’ve had panic attacks about this topic and death since a teenager and now 29. I go through bad phases where these thoughts come up nightly and creep into the day. My grandfather is currently dying of cancer so as you can imagine has caused some extra discomfort in my thoughts
I don’t fear the thought of dying, I accept one day I will die. I do however have this fear of an afterlife and also a fear of a lack of, I fear an infinite spiritual world with no end, but also fear that when I am dead I am gone, nothing. I can feel things getting worse and more panic attacks occurring. Does this make sense to others? Any advice or help?
It’s like I fear each possible outcome and my mind isn’t religious but more scientific and wants to seek reason and answers for things. I’m hoping as I get older, have a family and lived more life I can become more comfortable with an end/ or whatever is next but the anxiety and panic is making days hard

Greetings everyone, praying for a good day for you all!
As you can tell this is abit of a long one XD.
This happened over a year ago but it still haunts and torments me to this day, and is the first time I've told anyone else about it.
There's some context I believe that's necessary to better understand everything going on, going into this situation.
Have been having some issues at a board gaming group with a ex gf I met there.
Please don't take mine or her side. Don't harass, gaslight, insult or generally be cruel towards me about this XD. Have more then a lifetime of that don't want anymore. No one does. Don't assume you know how she's thinking or how I'm thinking, or who's right or wrong.
You don't know her, you don't know me, you weren't there for any of it. Do not assume.
I just want to find a peaceful solution to this problem and for her to stop antagonizing me, her actions cause me insane amounts of stress, anxiety, panic attacks. To the point where I almost have hypertension attacks, where my body goes numb, I can't breathe, and I die!! Horray!! :^D
Even typing this right now I'm having a panic/stress attack.
The amount of courage and energy it's taking me to type this and seek help is very painful.
She was someone I met through the boardgaming group.
I had just had a group of individuals spread sexual harassment gossip and rumors about me and get me kicked out of a Creator Space, another board gaming group and banned from a boardgaming store.
I walked in one day to play Gloomhaven as usual with 2 friends when the owner started yelling and screaming at me to leave the shop immediately or he was going to call the police to have me forcibely removed. I was not told ahead of time of my banning despite being on their discord and having spoken and seen their employees before on a few occasions.
Apparently one of the workers at the store was friends with someone who was accusing me of sexual harassment and spreading lies about me, and that I was silently banned from their discord and store without having been notified ahead of time.
Never once did the store owner or anyone else at the store contact me to get my side of the story before judging the situation.
I was guilty until proven innocent, which they didn't even give me the chance of proving my innocence.
Never had I been more abused or mistreated in my whole life then in that one moment.
Very humorously enough the only good person and friend I made from the Gloomhaven group when he listened to my side of the story believed me! Everyone who listened to me believed me while those who judged me without even talked to me didn't. Weird huh?
Sorry to go off on a tangent, but this is just background to me joining the new boardgaming group and the insane amount of depression and anxiety I was battling and currently still do.
I was insanely nervous and deeply depressed going into the new group, and terrified that news might spread and that I might get cruely kicked out of the new one which luckily did not happen.
It meets up in a church basement, and the fact that I can leave food and drink there, and that it isn't noise or loud or triggers my tinnitus or anxiety is great.
But some drama did occur around me on the discord related to other stuff that did make the "in" group of people dislike and have grudges against me!
So just a very tricky and complicated situation.
After our split up she now seems to antagonize me constantly if I happen to be there when she is there. In very passive aggressive ways.
After we split ways I was hoping to stay friends, but I don't know she herself comes from a abusive family background, with her parents being divorced and seeing different people among other things. One day I texted her a image of a Eclipse 2nd Dawn of the Galaxy supplement that had arrived at 6 or 7am and she blew up about it saying it was way too weird of a hour to message someone about this, despite her being the only person I've ever talked to that had a problem with this despite this being a very common thing for most people, and blocked my number.
Since then I've tried to be as loving and kind as possible not talking to her, avoiding eye contact, generally being as passive as I can. But that's still not enough for her.
I really believe she's trying to bully, cold shoulder me out of the boardgame group despite the fact I get along with almost everyone there and it's the only one that has worked for me.
There was a campaign I was with with her when we were playhing a campaign board game, and she would yell and strictly criticize any little mistake I would make in front of everyone all the time.
There was a time when there was some leftover food in the kitchen from a thanksgiving meal that I was given persmission to layout and share with everyone. I found some paper plates to use and she harshly yelled at me that we weren't allowed to use them. We only had styrofoam at that point and I was trying to find microwaveable plates to use. I went to someone else and asked if I could use the paper plates and he said totally. She was right there too, and she never apologized to me.
Good thing we had paper plates and people could heat their food!
Just the other night I was playing a game of Nemesis with some guys, and one of them happens to have the same name as me.
She came over and constantly just kept saying his name not differentiating between the two of us, despite the face she's called me by the same name multiple times. Continuing to ignore me and engage with everyone else there as if I don't exist. She knows how much it hurts me to say our exact names without differentiating.
It might not be a problem for some people, but for me it's very confusing and heart wrenching.
My Dad recommended we both get nicknames to make differentiating us easier and less painful.
I just don't want to create any more drama for anyone and the group, and maybe approach the other guy who shares a name with me about this issue.
Even he I feel can tell he's being thrown in the middle of something he has nothing to do with.
If anyone would have some kind, loving, empathetic advice I would greatly appreciate it. :^)

------------------
The Book of Harris-y
(Religion as it should be) -
by Zachary Harris
(cc) (NC) (ND) by Zachary Harris
May be copied, distributed, or displayed, verbatim only. non-commercial, not derivative works nor remixes.
First edition May 2024
Chapter 1 - What's in a name
Chapter 2 - A bunch of rules
Chapter 3 - Secrete origins
Chapter 4 - The end
Chapter 5 - Everybody's favorite topic: SEX
Chapter 6 - The 2000 year war
Chapter 7 - Humans and gods
Chapter 8 - Parables
Chapter 9 - Feedback
Chapter
CHAPTER 1
What's in a name
Some religions are named after it's main prophet. Christianity is named after christ. Buddhism is named after Budda.
I, Zach Harris, dub this religion HARRISy.
Where is it written that a religion can't have a sense of humor?
HARRISy is not a spoof or sarcasm.
But any religion without a sense of humor, absolutely NEEDS to be ridiculed.
I was raised in christianity. So most of my criticism will be aimed at the Abrahamic religions.
I intend to build harrisy on logic and reason. Not the superstition, lies, and, threats that the Abrahamic religions are built on.
As an alternative for conscientious objectors caught in the religious wars (see chapter 6).
Deities are not really necessary for inspiration or religion. An all-powerful creator wouldn't need the help or adulation of puny mortals.
Only cults and human puppet masters need that. So we leave deities to their own devises. They ought to be up to it.
Harrisy is a religion about/for humans, as religions should be.
My leadership skills suck. So I will avoid leading, to avoid becoming a cult.
Chapter 2
A bunch of rules
Everybody hates rules. But let's establish what Harrisy stands for.
10 rules is a nice round number. But when the first four are about loyalty to the cult, You have to question who the rules are meant to benefit.
The christian 'commandments' only benefit the christian cult. The commandments don't even benefit their god.
A true all-powerful, immortal, creator god, would not need human worship or loyalty. The same as humans don't need the worship of ants.
We don't make rules for ants to follow. Just stay out of our way. The Abrahamic god treats us like ants. Either ignores or steps on us. It was his cults that made the 'commandments', not their god.
(more about that in chapter 7)
Harrisy has rules to live by, to benefit HUMANS:
A) Cause no harm.
B) Treat others the way you want to be treated.
Christianity calls this 'The Golden Rule' as if they invented it. But this was part of every culture and religion that humans ever created. (except Is-lame)
C) Do not kill. Do not kill humans.
Self preservation may override this, but killing is still a bad idea.
When killing animals for food, respect their sacrifice. Killing for sport is a bad idea.
D) People are not property.
Do not try to own others, in any sense.
You belong to yourself, do not give yourself away.
E) Do not steal.
You would not want to loose your stuff. (see B) Stealing harms others.
F) Do not lie. Avoid those who lie.
You would want to know the truth. To make better decisions. (see B)
G) Do not rape.
Do not force yourself on others. Your pleasures are not more important than other people's.
This applies to more than just sex. Do not force your religion on others. Do not force harrisy on others.
H) Do not shit wherever you please.
You don't want to slog through other people's shit.
(it's a metaphor.) Leave the world better than you found it.
I) Guard your privacy. Respect the privacy of others.
Beware of others who might use info against you. Or might unduly profit off you.
We have no rules about loyalty. We understand loyalties change. Just be honest (rule E)
We have no rule specifically about Adultery. Adultery might be considered loyalty, which changes.
Or adultery might be considered stealing, stealing affection. (rule D)
Chapter 3
Secrete origins
No one knows how/why it all began. Anyone who says they know, for certain, is lying.
The answer night as well be 42.
Most religions make it a crime to ask questions about their creation myths. This promotes ignorance. Helps the cult, not the people.
We understand the 'scientific method'. Scientists ask questions and are willing to test and adapt to new info.
So, for now, we trust scientific conclusions about the beginnings.
The current best theories from science:
The universe started from what they humorously call 'The Big Bang', about 13.8 Billion years ago.
Many are curious about what came before that. But we find that to be irrelevant to our everyday life.
Some religions say their god did it so they can claim payment/gratitude/worship for it. But we owe them nothing.
The earth was formed about 4.5 Billion years ago.
Humans evolved from other critters over many, many, many Generations (not years).
Some religions claim their god did it so they can claim payment/gratitude/worship for it.
We do not owe Harrisy or any religion for our existence.
Chapter 4
The end
How does it all end?
No one knows. Anyone who says they know, for certain, is lying.
Christinity predicts a bad acid trip. (See Revaluations) Any day now. So buy your ticket to heaven early.
It's an obvious con, You sacrifice this life you already have, for the promise of another life they can't prove.
Science predicts 'Entropy'. Every atom in the universe will drift away from every other till they can't react any more.
But humans will be dead or evolved into something we can't recognize, by then. Too distant, time-wise, to worry about.
Your personal end? What happens when you die?
Most probably nothing.
Seems like every religion has a different 'afterlife'. They can't all be right. (but they can all be wrong)
You can't pick the one you want. If an 'afterlife' exists it is what it is. WE can't control it. No cult can control it.
The cults are telling you what you want to hear. So you give your CURRENT LIFE to their cult. The life that is certain, in exchange for an empty promise.
No guarantees, No refunds, You won't get your old life back if they are wrong (or lying).
Pascal's gamble is a sucker bet. It never pays out.
Harrisy aims to make This Current Life better, worth living for it's own sake. We give priority to This Current Life over any theoretical 'afterlife'.
Chapter 5
Everybody's favorite topic: SEX
What's the point of Sexual Taboos?
Why would an IMORTAL (non-sexual, non-reproducing) being give a damn?
For example in the christian cult:
*Masturbation is sin,
*Spilling your seed outside the womb is sin,
*Marrying outside the church is sin,
*Divorce is sin,
*Birth Control is sin,
*Abortion is sin,
*Marriages without offspring are invalid.
*Brand (circumcise) your males, so your females know who they are allowed to mate with,
And in Is-lame, Women are just sexual slaves.
Taken as a whole,
The only purpose served by sexual taboos, is to help the CULT out-populate rival cults.
A REAL "creator god" wouldn't give a damn. Or Wouldn't need our cooperation. it would just create more of us, as needed.
A REAL creator wouldn't threaten us, it would just change us.
Sexual Taboos are serving a cult, not a god.
Harrisy has only one sexual taboo:
Rule G) Do not rape.
Do not force yourself on others. Your pleasures are not more important than other people's.
Chapter 6
The 2000 year war
The Abrahamic religions have been at war with each other for about 2000 years. Sometimes hot, sometimes cold.
But like some other religions, at all times attempting to be 'the one true religion'. And by their competition, doing more harm than good.
And the Abrahamic religions haven't even shown that the 'good' stuff needs their religion to get done.
They preach that it is somehow noble or their duty to spread their faith. ("Onward Christian Soldiers")
There are dangers associated with proselytism and/or evangelicalism:
(Please note - I had help with the following)
Focus on Conversion over Service:
Proselytism/evangelicalism prioritizes conversion goals over humanitarian or service-oriented activities.
This undermines the credibility and effectiveness of religious organizations engaged in charitable work,
as it is perceived as conditional or insincere.
Dogmatism and Exclusivity:
Evangelicalism/proselytism promotes a rigid, dogmatic interpretation of religious beliefs that excludes other perspectives.
This exclusivity leads to intolerance of differing viewpoints and hinders constructive dialogue and cooperation with people of other faiths or worldviews.
Coercion and Manipulation:
Proselytism/evangelicalism involves coercion, manipulation, or exploitation of vulnerable individuals,
such as offering material incentives or exploiting power differentials to induce conversion.
This raises ethical concerns about respect for autonomy and informed consent.
Political Activism:
Evangelicalism/proselytism has been associated with political movements that prioritize specific social or moral issues, leading to controversy and polarization.
this politicization blurs the lines between religion and politics, compromising the integrity of both.
Interfaith Tensions:
Proselytism/evangelicalism contributes to interfaith tensions and conflicts, especially when it is aggressive or disrespectful to members of other religious communities.
It will undermine efforts to foster mutual respect, understanding, and cooperation among different faith traditions.
Fragmentation of Communities:
Proselytism/evangelicalism leads to the fragmentation or division of communities, particularly in contexts where multiple religious groups coexist.
This creates social tensions and weaken social cohesion, especially when proselytism is conducted in a confrontational or divisive manner.
Proselytization and Missionary Work:
We are concerned about aggressive or coercive methods used in proselytization/evangelicalism efforts,
especially when targeting vulnerable populations or in multicultural contexts.
This leads to cultural imperialism or disrespect for the autonomy of individuals and communities.
Cultural Insensitivity:
Proselytism/evangelicalism disregards or disrespects the cultural and religious traditions of the target community.
This leads to cultural imperialism or colonialism, especially when proselytism/evangelicalism is conducted in contexts where there is a history of exploitation or marginalization.
Misrepresentation or Simplification of Beliefs:
Proselytism/evangelicalism involves oversimplification or misrepresentation of religious beliefs and practices in order to make them more appealing to potential converts.
This leads to misunderstandings or misconceptions about the beliefs and traditions of the proselytizing religion.
For these reasons we conscientious objectors to the religious war, need an uncompetitive religion like Harris-y.
But don't push it.
Chapter 7
Humans and gods
Why do human religions have gods that are all too human?
A creator of everything that needs humans to wright/publish a holy book?
An all powerful god who needs humans to promote him?
An all powerful god with a vindictive human sized ego?
An immortal who is obsessed with human reproduction?
An all powerful god who needs humans more than we need him?
Any actual god wouldn't need human religion.
Harrisy serves humans, not gods.
Chapter 8
Parables
Corn In A Cow Patty.
Finding truth in the Abrahamic holy books,
is like finding corn in a cow patty.
Sure there are some good kernels in there,
but is it really worth digging through the shit to find them?
You can find uncontaminated kernels of truth anywhere.
Chapter 9
Feedback
Feedback should be sent to: [zachharris@mail2hell.com](mailto:zachharris@mail2hell.com)
Don't expect a timely reply.

------------------
The Book of Harris-y
(Religion as it should be) -
by Zachary Harris
(cc) (NC) (ND) by Zachary Harris
May be copied, distributed, or displayed, verbatim only. non-commercial, not derivative works nor remixes.
First edition May 2024
Chapter 1 - What's in a name
Chapter 2 - A bunch of rules
Chapter 3 - Secrete origins
Chapter 4 - The end
Chapter 5 - Everybody's favorite topic: SEX
Chapter 6 - The 2000 year war
Chapter 7 - Humans and gods
Chapter 8 - Parables
Chapter 9 - Feedback
Chapter
CHAPTER 1
What's in a name
Some religions are named after it's main prophet. Christianity is named after christ. Buddhism is named after Budda.
I, Zach Harris, dub this religion HARRISy.
Where is it written that a religion can't have a sense of humor?
HARRISy is not a spoof or sarcasm.
But any religion without a sense of humor, absolutely NEEDS to be ridiculed.
I was raised in christianity. So most of my criticism will be aimed at the Abrahamic religions.
I intend to build harrisy on logic and reason. Not the superstition, lies, and, threats that the Abrahamic religions are built on.
As an alternative for conscientious objectors caught in the religious wars (see chapter 6).
Deities are not really necessary for inspiration or religion. An all-powerful creator wouldn't need the help or adulation of puny mortals.
Only cults and human puppet masters need that. So we leave deities to their own devises. They ought to be up to it.
Harrisy is a religion about/for humans, as religions should be.
My leadership skills suck. So I will avoid leading, to avoid becoming a cult.
Chapter 2
A bunch of rules
Everybody hates rules. But let's establish what Harrisy stands for.
10 rules is a nice round number. But when the first four are about loyalty to the cult, You have to question who the rules are meant to benefit.
The christian 'commandments' only benefit the christian cult. The commandments don't even benefit their god.
A true all-powerful, immortal, creator god, would not need human worship or loyalty. The same as humans don't need the worship of ants.
We don't make rules for ants to follow. Just stay out of our way. The Abrahamic god treats us like ants. Either ignores or steps on us. It was his cults that made the 'commandments', not their god.
(more about that in chapter 7)
Harrisy has rules to live by, to benefit HUMANS:
A) Cause no harm.
B) Treat others the way you want to be treated.
Christianity calls this 'The Golden Rule' as if they invented it. But this was part of every culture and religion that humans ever created. (except Is-lame)
C) Do not kill. Do not kill humans.
Self preservation may override this, but killing is still a bad idea.
When killing animals for food, respect their sacrifice. Killing for sport is a bad idea.
D) People are not property.
Do not try to own others, in any sense.
You belong to yourself, do not give yourself away.
E) Do not steal.
You would not want to loose your stuff. (see B) Stealing harms others.
F) Do not lie. Avoid those who lie.
You would want to know the truth. To make better decisions. (see B)
G) Do not rape.
Do not force yourself on others. Your pleasures are not more important than other people's.
This applies to more than just sex. Do not force your religion on others. Do not force harrisy on others.
H) Do not shit wherever you please.
You don't want to slog through other people's shit.
(it's a metaphor.) Leave the world better than you found it.
I) Guard your privacy. Respect the privacy of others.
Beware of others who might use info against you. Or might unduly profit off you.
We have no rules about loyalty. We understand loyalties change. Just be honest (rule E)
We have no rule specifically about Adultery. Adultery might be considered loyalty, which changes.
Or adultery might be considered stealing, stealing affection. (rule D)
Chapter 3
Secrete origins
No one knows how/why it all began. Anyone who says they know, for certain, is lying.
The answer night as well be 42.
Most religions make it a crime to ask questions about their creation myths. This promotes ignorance. Helps the cult, not the people.
We understand the 'scientific method'. Scientists ask questions and are willing to test and adapt to new info.
So, for now, we trust scientific conclusions about the beginnings.
The current best theories from science:
The universe started from what they humorously call 'The Big Bang', about 13.8 Billion years ago.
Many are curious about what came before that. But we find that to be irrelevant to our everyday life.
Some religions say their god did it so they can claim payment/gratitude/worship for it. But we owe them nothing.
The earth was formed about 4.5 Billion years ago.
Humans evolved from other critters over many, many, many Generations (not years).
Some religions claim their god did it so they can claim payment/gratitude/worship for it.
We do not owe Harrisy or any religion for our existence.
Chapter 4
The end
How does it all end?
No one knows. Anyone who says they know, for certain, is lying.
Christinity predicts a bad acid trip. (See Revaluations) Any day now. So buy your ticket to heaven early.
It's an obvious con, You sacrifice this life you already have, for the promise of another life they can't prove.
Science predicts 'Entropy'. Every atom in the universe will drift away from every other till they can't react any more.
But humans will be dead or evolved into something we can't recognize, by then. Too distant, time-wise, to worry about.
Your personal end? What happens when you die?
Most probably nothing.
Seems like every religion has a different 'afterlife'. They can't all be right. (but they can all be wrong)
You can't pick the one you want. If an 'afterlife' exists it is what it is. WE can't control it. No cult can control it.
The cults are telling you what you want to hear. So you give your CURRENT LIFE to their cult. The life that is certain, in exchange for an empty promise.
No guarantees, No refunds, You won't get your old life back if they are wrong (or lying).
Pascal's gamble is a sucker bet. It never pays out.
Harrisy aims to make This Current Life better, worth living for it's own sake. We give priority to This Current Life over any theoretical 'afterlife'.
Chapter 5
Everybody's favorite topic: SEX
What's the point of Sexual Taboos?
Why would an IMORTAL (non-sexual, non-reproducing) being give a damn?
For example in the christian cult:
*Masturbation is sin,
*Spilling your seed outside the womb is sin,
*Marrying outside the church is sin,
*Divorce is sin,
*Birth Control is sin,
*Abortion is sin,
*Marriages without offspring are invalid.
*Brand (circumcise) your males, so your females know who they are allowed to mate with,
And in Is-lame, Women are just sexual slaves.
Taken as a whole,
The only purpose served by sexual taboos, is to help the CULT out-populate rival cults.
A REAL "creator god" wouldn't give a damn. Or Wouldn't need our cooperation. it would just create more of us, as needed.
A REAL creator wouldn't threaten us, it would just change us.
Sexual Taboos are serving a cult, not a god.
Harrisy has only one sexual taboo:
Rule G) Do not rape.
Do not force yourself on others. Your pleasures are not more important than other people's.
Chapter 6
The 2000 year war
The Abrahamic religions have been at war with each other for about 2000 years. Sometimes hot, sometimes cold.
But like some other religions, at all times attempting to be 'the one true religion'. And by their competition, doing more harm than good.
And the Abrahamic religions haven't even shown that the 'good' stuff needs their religion to get done.
They preach that it is somehow noble or their duty to spread their faith. ("Onward Christian Soldiers")
There are dangers associated with proselytism and/or evangelicalism:
(Please note - I had help with the following)
Focus on Conversion over Service:
Proselytism/evangelicalism prioritizes conversion goals over humanitarian or service-oriented activities.
This undermines the credibility and effectiveness of religious organizations engaged in charitable work,
as it is perceived as conditional or insincere.
Dogmatism and Exclusivity:
Evangelicalism/proselytism promotes a rigid, dogmatic interpretation of religious beliefs that excludes other perspectives.
This exclusivity leads to intolerance of differing viewpoints and hinders constructive dialogue and cooperation with people of other faiths or worldviews.
Coercion and Manipulation:
Proselytism/evangelicalism involves coercion, manipulation, or exploitation of vulnerable individuals,
such as offering material incentives or exploiting power differentials to induce conversion.
This raises ethical concerns about respect for autonomy and informed consent.
Political Activism:
Evangelicalism/proselytism has been associated with political movements that prioritize specific social or moral issues, leading to controversy and polarization.
this politicization blurs the lines between religion and politics, compromising the integrity of both.
Interfaith Tensions:
Proselytism/evangelicalism contributes to interfaith tensions and conflicts, especially when it is aggressive or disrespectful to members of other religious communities.
It will undermine efforts to foster mutual respect, understanding, and cooperation among different faith traditions.
Fragmentation of Communities:
Proselytism/evangelicalism leads to the fragmentation or division of communities, particularly in contexts where multiple religious groups coexist.
This creates social tensions and weaken social cohesion, especially when proselytism is conducted in a confrontational or divisive manner.
Proselytization and Missionary Work:
We are concerned about aggressive or coercive methods used in proselytization/evangelicalism efforts,
especially when targeting vulnerable populations or in multicultural contexts.
This leads to cultural imperialism or disrespect for the autonomy of individuals and communities.
Cultural Insensitivity:
Proselytism/evangelicalism disregards or disrespects the cultural and religious traditions of the target community.
This leads to cultural imperialism or colonialism, especially when proselytism/evangelicalism is conducted in contexts where there is a history of exploitation or marginalization.
Misrepresentation or Simplification of Beliefs:
Proselytism/evangelicalism involves oversimplification or misrepresentation of religious beliefs and practices in order to make them more appealing to potential converts.
This leads to misunderstandings or misconceptions about the beliefs and traditions of the proselytizing religion.
For these reasons we conscientious objectors to the religious war, need an uncompetitive religion like Harris-y.
But don't push it.
Chapter 7
Humans and gods
Why do human religions have gods that are all too human?
A creator of everything that needs humans to wright/publish a holy book?
An all powerful god who needs humans to promote him?
An all powerful god with a vindictive human sized ego?
An immortal who is obsessed with human reproduction?
An all powerful god who needs humans more than we need him?
Any actual god wouldn't need human religion.
Harrisy serves humans, not gods.
Chapter 8
Parables
Corn In A Cow Patty.
Finding truth in the Abrahamic holy books,
is like finding corn in a cow patty.
Sure there are some good kernels in there,
but is it really worth digging through the shit to find them?
You can find uncontaminated kernels of truth anywhere.
Chapter 9
Feedback
Feedback should be sent to: [zachharris@mail2hell.com](mailto:zachharris@mail2hell.com)
Don't expect a timely reply.

As most people already know, the transatlantic slave trade was one of the gruesome forms of slavery in the history of mankind. Millions of humans were shipped off into cargo size holes inside of ships to unknown areas and they were chained up for months on end. As soon as they got to the new world. They were sold off into slave auctions. They were treated worse than cattle. Fathers were routinely beaten and mothers were routinely raped by slave masters. There were many more gruesome things such as slave breeding farms across America during this time period. It was practically hell on earth for these slaves.
Many slaves ran off the plantations and were chased around by slave patrols at night and if they were caught. They could have their legs chopped off or castrated.
A major trend that many historians and authors have noticed across the history of slavery in the new world
EVERY successful slave rebellion from Haiti to Brazil was conducted by Muslim Africans
The Haitian revolution was the only successful one at such a large scale. They managed to fight off multiple European powers. They damaged the French so much that Napolean was forced to not only retreat from Haiti but also sell Louisiana during the Louisiana purchase.
Many Muslim Africans were forced to convert to Christianity but they still practiced Islam in secret across Haiti
The most ruthless slave rebel to the European masters was a guy by the name of Francois Macandal
He literally ended up killing over 6,000 European plantation owners in Haiti, his nickname was poison by them
The only time where Muslims were no successful in a slave rebellion was when they were intermingling with Christian Africans and pagan voodoo Africans
However the European colonial powers knew that Islam was the most aggressive belief system to cause them harm
European colonial people from Thomas Jefferson all the way to modern day Donald Trump have always seen Islam as a threat to their European Western rule over the world.
Right now, Haitians aren't Muslims by majority anymore. Even the religion of Islam is frowned upon in Haiti. The European colonial agents have successfully corrupted the minds of Haitians so that they could never see another revolution again uprooting their system
Many European westerners say Arab Muslims are just a racist as whites to African people
However people to need realize that Islam does NOT equal Arabs
You can find bad human beings in all religions but the ISLAMIC faith is NOT racist according to the Quran
This why even Arab Muslims had their whole empire destroyed to shreds by Muslim African slaves in the Zanj rebellion
Over 1 million Arabs were killed by African Muslim Zanj rebels and the leader Muhammad Ibn Ali
What I'm trying to say is that Islam always gives the slaves and oppressed to fighting chance to uproot the status quo or masters of the region
Prophet Muhammad(PBUH) uprooted the pagan Quryash and other upper class pagan Arabs
Then he uprooted the Persians who thought they were better
Even in India, the WHOLE 1857 rebellion was carried out by Indian Muslims against the British
Islam is ONLY belief system that guarantees as downtrodden people results and history has proven this
These Haitians do not know that they can easily be enslaved again because Africans without Allah(SWT) are very disorganized people
Same goes for Indian Hindus and even pagan Persians at the time
You have to remember that at a time when it was legal to enslave any black African and treat them like dogs and if they try to fight back. They would be lynched or beaten to a pulp. They had NO help at all. You have to remember that sugar cane plantations are way worse than cotton plantations.
This is why Pakistan should never let western ideology such as feminism or any type of pagan Bollywood thrive in Pakistan's psyche
Islam strengthens a people from the status of slaves and impoverished to the status of kings and rich rulers
All these other belief systems makes a person more docile by nature

I'm not asking for medical advise, simply options to present to my doctor for approval!
I was prescribed modafinil off-label for ADHD.
My psychopharmacologist was willing to go out on a limb with me because methylphenidate (in the past, I was on Ritalin LA or Concerta) and, god forbid, amphetamine (I tried Adderall for two terrible days) both make me feel wired and obsessive (worsened OCD symptoms) while also impairing sleep. My guess is that too much norepinephrine causes problems for my brain and body.
The problem is that modafinil does not always help me focus properly. I do well with modafinil (from modafinia) and a small amount of caffeine, however caffeine is usually too long-acting for me and keeps me awake at night.
Two questions, and I'll check with my doctors first, so please feel free to recommend anything legal (USA):
Are there any other (preferably over-the-counter) mild stimulants that mildly raise norepinephrine? Theobromine? Something more niche that I'm not thinking about? Alternatively, is there anything that would improve my body's ability to break down and absorb extra norepinephrine? TL;DR: I have ADHD, and I don't do well on methylphenidate/amphetamine. Rx modafinil is fantastic, but I need a bit more norepinephrine, and coffee keeps me awake for too long. Suggestions?

My gecko has been refusing food. She is over a year old. She had her shed early Tuesday morning. This started after her shed. Refused food Wednesday night and then again Thursday night. I feed her every two days. She has been glass surfing, and digging. Which is irregular of her. I know they eat their shed, so could be refusing food because of this, but last shed she was accepting food a day after. Temperatures are normal, and so is humidity. She does not seem impacted, and is high energy. I watched a video that said this behaviour could be she’s preparing an egg. Could that be what’s causing this behaviour?

Ex and I(m22) broke up almost 5 months ago and it’s been really hard on me at times. We broke up cause I was dealing with really bad anxiety and self esteem issues so this break up hasn’t really helped with any of that. I don’t blame her for what happened she had her reasons to which I understand now but at the time I couldn’t fully accept. She thought I wasn’t interested in her but that’s not the case I was just dealing with my own anxiety that came from a bunch of different things. I tried my best to reassure her and not have her doubts but to no avail. Looking back now I don’t blame her again but still hurts me a lot. We decided to remain friends as we both do really care for each other but neither of us seem to be ready for a full relationship now. It hurts talking with her at times but I don’t really want to lose her as she’s such an amazing girl, I know people will say I should stop talking with her but it’s just not what I want. I do hope we can still get back together in the future as do most people think with an ex but I don’t put all my faith into that as much I want to. It would hit me a lot harder than it already does if I did. I still lay awake at night thinking about her and the thought of her makes me tear up still. Still I’m not always hurt when we talk just hurts somethings

23F, 55kg, no medication/history of illness
I have been having episodes of drenching night sweats, they have been drenching my bed clothes and pyjamas. I do not have any other symptoms and my blood tests/hormone levels were normal. My doctor asked me to keep track of these. In the past 2 weeks they seem to be a bit better, last night I had an episode where I woke up, very warm, there was sweat droplets on me, however my pjs and bed sheets were not affected. Does this still count as a night sweat?
These episodes have been causing me a lot of stress and I’m also scared that I am waking up before the sweat turns into a “drenching” one, and so, preventing it from happening, is this also possible?

Hello everyone that may be coming across this post.
I'm currently in my mid twenties and I am in university now and currently making an attempt to finish my bachelor's degree in IT where I don't really have exams but almost everything is project based.
For a long while I have been struggling with quite a few things regarding my work and education. And a lot of this is regarding productivity, planning and prioritizing and motivation/energy. For full transparency I have an ASD diagnosis, so I can recognize where parts of these struggles come from, however I have realized over the years that knowing what is going wrong is not the same thing as fixing them.
I have noticed for a while now that I am capable enough to have an overview of what I need to do to complete a task or project but I struggle in executing those tasks I write down. This usually results in procrastinating on things until the last minute, which makes it hard to not see myself as a lazy person. In prior education, especially in high school but also in college the feedback I usually got was "I know you are capable of doing more but you don't show it", which was true. I always tried to do the bare minimum to get a passing grade. In university I vowed myself to actually try to make things I can be proud of, but I don't seem to get better results as opposed to when I tried doing the bare minimum, with the feedback from teachers usually being "is perfectionism a problem here?" which does not compute for me as in my mind I would have better results if I was.
Previously to get through the roadblocks of procrastination and not getting things done is by putting more time and especially more pressure to myself. Up until now I had the mindset of 'if I am angry enough at myself or hate myself enough I will get through anything'. Which worked for a while to get things done on the short term but gave me more problems in the long term to the point of have to take a break for a year because it worsened my mental health as well as developing eczema.
Now that I have been trying to redefine how I tackle the roadblocks I come across as well as actively trying to shift my mindset to a more healthy place it is like all of my fears are coming true. At days where I have to work from home (which is twice a week) I often don't get out of bed and when I do I often distract myself with basically anything else but the things that I need to work on, the simplest things take a very long time and the quality isn't better than before.
It is frustrating because I know I'm procrastinating, I know that I'm self sabotaging but no matter how much I seem to push and pull it doesn't seem to work. Just like anything else I see in my observed behavior, I see the problems that my behavior causes for myself as well as the consequences that it'll entail and more often than not the why it happens as well but I am clueless as to how to fix these issues without creating more problems for myself in the long term.
The only thing that has been going better this time around is avoid working until deep in the night and doing a little bit most days even be if it's just for two hours and setting personal boundaries. And while that helps with my mental health and long term motivation, for actually getting things done it is not enough.
Does anyone have tips on how to tackle procrastination, getting (and staying) out of bed and getting started?

I’ve been a Registered Nurse for almost five years. I recently got into Agency nursing and work with EShyft. There is only one facility near me, the second closest is 60+ miles. Anyways, the facility I’m at has been going down hill. I always work nights and am usually caring for 40+ patients each night, and some nights they’ll stick me as an RN supervisor for the whole facility (there’s always supposed to be two supervisors, but they’ve been so short staffed). I don’t even have a log in so I can’t print the required papers a night shift supervisor is supposed to.
Recently the facility stopped putting RN shifts up. So I have been forced to take the LPN shifts that pay $15 dollars less an hour. I come in tonight as an LPN and they have me as a supervisor on their schedule. I reach out to EShyft and they said “the facility can put you where they want to if they need you there.” That makes no sense! Can CNAs work as supervisors? No! So if I sign up for a LPN shift why I am doing RN work for less?! I get it, I am an RN and I’m capable of doing it, but not when I’m being paid $15 dollars less! I feel like they’re totally taking advantage of me and the agency just doesn’t care. I can’t refuse the assignment cause I know they will DNR (Do Not Return) me. I literally have no choice but to be paid less to do more. Does anyone have any advice?
Thank you.

Please don’t comment unless u read the whole thing. I am a huge overthinker and have relationship anxiety, but I also think I can be a better spouse. I am newly married. I will admit me and my husband had a lot of unhealthy toxic fights in the past. Now that we are married, I’m starting to worry because we argue a lot. And I will admit I have not been the best to deal with and I feel really bad about how much I’ve stressed him due to my lack of awareness and difficulty to control my emotions and stubbornness. I am taking a step back and trying to be more aware of our arguments. I’m trying to be understanding when he feels tired and trying to let things go more. Stopped bothering him about an issue we had and accepted “no” as an answer and just “hid” my feelings about the subject. Not in an unhealthy way, I told him I will be upset and disappointed about things but I will not make it a big deal everytime. I care about how he feels about me so I started journaling my days since our first month has been rough. I just need to understand what exactly is considered “unhealthy” or “toxic” relationship . Im just concerned because it seems like we argue everyday, but i think it depends on the definition of “argue”. I would say we argue everyday if the definition means just any kind of arguing or bickering.
Now we have regular bickering where we get annoyed at each other but that’s not really serious it’s just like “I told you to put the towel there can you please to that” or just discussing how we feel. Sometimes voices get raised but no screaming (unless it’s an emergency like if they were doing something dangerous) and no name calling but might unintentionally say or do something rude without realizing it was rude. Or sometimes minor arguments but we move on within 10 minutes or an hour max sometimes I may be bothered at something he does and I feel annoyed at him until we have time o talk it out.
Sometimes we have arguments may feel “big” just because I am sensitive. For example, I’ll get sad because he was too tired to spend time with me or he may come off as harsh or rude without realizing so I show how I’m sad and if he’s in a good mood he’ll be understanding and be sweet but sometimes becomes mean instead of comforting me which causes me to cry and leave him alone. He usually apologizes for this same day or next day when he has time to focus on me and isn’t rushed. I do wanna try and solve this by explaining how he can be firm but kind at the same time. And I’m trying better to understand that he just needs space sometimes and just try to handle my sensitive emotions.
^ ^ ^so those may happen a lot, honestly even everyday because I feel like that’s normal bickering, small arguments, being sensitive as a woman. I would assume that is normal.
Now for the more serious kind of “arguments”
Sometimes the argument can be a bit mean and we may say things we regret but really quickly we apologize again within the hour. we don’t stay angry for days or anything. no actual name calling, but hurtful things. However I’m trying to be extremely aware of this and having up avoid it. Intentionally hurting the other person is something I will avoid. For example, “you disgust me because of how selfish you are” or “you’re an embarrassment of a man/woman” impulsively but apologize fast
^ ^ ^ this is something we will avoid but I feel that it could happen maybe a few times a month but wouldn’t last more than a day. Especially when one of us is stressed.
As far as MAJOR arguments (like screaming, completely disrespectful, name calling) major arguments that have a massive impact, this is something I’m trying to avoid at all costs. If it happens it would be extremely rare. We have had these before, but I’m being extremely aware to avoid this.
I know from the outside this seems horrible but I’m just being realistic. We LOVE each other. We care about each other and we are kind to each other. We have a lot of good times and moments we enjoy each others company and I would say since I started journaling the last 3 days we definitely have more good times than arguments especially with me being more aware. I said something mean due to his attitude, but apologized after 5 minutes whereas the old me would have stayed mad or gotten more angry. And last night he upset me because he was in a hurry and didn’t kiss me before he left and was acting a bit rude because he was in a rush so it made me sad until he came back after work to apologize. Obviously harmless bickers here and there. But the rest of the time we’re great and happy with each other. I’m going to continue journaling
The reason I’m worried is because we have had a lot of toxicity in the past due to long distance and this being both of our first relationship. Both of us have been very toxic. I just wanna try and help us have a relatively healthy relationship and I think this can be achieved because we both love each other and can communicate better now that we live with each other and because I am willing to be more aware and am trying to be less stubborn and more patient.
Should I be concerned or does it seem like we can make this work? Again, I am a huge overthinker so please bear with me. I’m journaling because it helps me piece together what to improve because we can definitely improve on something’s

Okay so I have this friend, Madi, and for context, I am older than her by a little over four months (my birthday was may 13th and hers is september 15th) (shes twelve btw) so I know that since I'm older, I should try and not neccesarily take responsibility for her actions, but I need too at least make sure she doesnt do anything reckless, y'know? And that would all be fine and stuff if she didnt treat me like a damn dog. Like seriously, I feel more like a dog she can mess with other than an actual friend. She's immature, ignorant, controlling, cant take no for an answer, lazy, and so many other words too. I have many reasons as to why I hate this friendship, but I'll list a few.

1. She's too controlling. Theres many examples I could choose from, but some of them are the fact that she always asks me if I want to cone over and spend the night, then gets mad at me when I dont want too and she always tries to preassure me into saying yes. This used to work, but now it doesnt. Shes also always the one in charge of what we do when we hang out, and when I want to do something else, she drags her feet or just straight up says no. Another point like this is that when I don't want to do something, she forces me to do it anyways. Like for example, the last time I went over to her house, she forced me to make choreography to a few Hazbin Hotel songs and wouldnt let me close the front door despite me clearly veing uncomfortable with having it opened. I was unconfortable because our parents were outside the door and I didnt want to dance in front of them because I would be embarassed. I literally had to push the door back with all my strength just to close it because she was trying to push it open to prevent me from closing the door. Another thing that happened last time was that she decided that she wanted to scare her neighbors by throwing rocks at their house, and despite me obviously not wanting too she once again forced me to come along. But, at least she was nice enough to let me just stay hidden behind a log while she did it, so at least theres that. Then she made me run all the way back to the house in a weird direction (we literally ran across the yard at first, then ran back by going from one side of her other neighbors house to the other, then running along the side of the road to the house.), then when we got back she immediately ratted both of us out to our parents. Luckily she told them the real story, so she was the only one who got yelled at, but she tried to pin everything on me right afterwards! I didnt even want to do that woth her and she tries to get me in trouble too?? What the fuck dude?! This pisses me off so much its insane.
   
2. Okay we've covered how controlling she is, now we'll move on too just how uncomfortable I am around her. She's always making sexual innuendos about everything, or telling me about how some random 19 year old sent her nudes, or just so many other innapropriate things too and Im just genuinely unconfortable around her. She also has a boyfriend (her relationships are a whole other issue I'll get too later), and she's told me so many times about how when she meets her boyfriend they'll break the bed or she'll suck him off or how hard she'll make him and it's like "jesus youre twelve and he's ten can you chill" and I dont know how to express how uncomfortable I am with this stuff other than through anger or joking about my anger but not really joking and it's just so annoying I hate it. This isnt just a one-time thing either, this has happened many tines, with her making me uncomfortable with her sexual behavior. Like one time, this was last year, we were watching Helluva Boss at her house and I was sitting next to her and she forcefully grabbed my thigh. Not like in the inner thigh, but she grabbed the like outer parts of it, and when I took her hand off my thigh and told her to stop, she kept on putting it back on over and over until I moved away and forced her to stop. I dont know if this counts as groping or what, since she is younger than me and it wasnt in the inner thigh, but if it was then can someone let me know? Anyways, another example of a time she made me uncomfortable was when she forced me to go on Omeagle when it was still up and we saw nine different male genitalia. She wouldnt let me stop until she was done.
   
3. As I mentioned in 2, she's in a relationship with a guy she met online. She got with him after only knowing him for like two hours, and she's already saying that once she meets him theyll do a bunch of inapropriate stuff, and honestly this doesnt surprise me. Shes like this with a bunch of her relationships, she gets in one in a short time, then devotes her entire life to them, then when they break up she gets upset and angry, then forgets about them the second she gets in a new relationship. Shes twelve and she's already in her eighth relationship, then she rants about her love life to me when she can. She only posts about her boyfriend, she only talks about her boyfriend, and she's even said many times about how she'd put her boyfriend over her friends and family, and honestly I feel unaprecciated by her because of this. How do you put a boy online you've known for less than a week over a girl you've known since you were like seven? It doesnt make sense.
   
4. Okay I swear this is the final one, but she's genuinely so childish. Like, more than she should be at her age. She does so much shit she's not supposed too, she argues with her parents, she never does any schoolwork, she's messy, she doesnt take no for an answer, she always needs to be right and in control, she always needs her way, and she's just so annoying. Like, Im sure she doesnt mean too, but she needs to have more self control. Like she's almost thirteen, if she doesnt quit doing stuff like that throwing rocks at peoples houses thing I mentioned or arguing with her parents, she's gonna get both of us in trouble. Even if I dont do anything, I'll get in trouble like her due to just being there or being a witness, she'll get us both put in jail. I cant let that happen, not now, not ever. I genuinely dont feel safe or comfortable being with her, but guess what? I'll have to be with her because our parents are friends, our dads are even in a band together, so I need to be her friend or else it could cause a dent in my parents relationships with her parents! Im genuinely tired of it.
   

Im thinking of setting the record straight with her eventually. I dont know if it'll be in a month or when she turns thirteen, but I just need to get this straight, y'know? Im thinking of exercising more to build physical strength, that way if she gets violent I can protect myself, and I'll probably start writing out what to say to her soon, maybe sonetime next week since my final day is next week on wednesday, then I'll be on summer break. Does anyone have any input on what to do? Or any input at all? Also, thank you for reading this far, I know I've written a lot so I really appreciate it <3 okay idk how to end this now ok bye

Okay to preface, I live in a first floor apartment that is facing a small courtyard where, from my desk I have a direct view of my neighbors front and patio doors. I've been playing Ghost of Tsushima all night so I have had the pleasure of watching whatever the fuck is going on with these people that live across from me.
About an hour ago, I noticed a guy crouched behind the wooden staircase directly across from my window. He was with a girl who was standing by and it looked like he was trying to lift the second to last step of the stair case with a car jack? Then upon further inspection I realized he had this small yellow wheel, like from the front of a moped or something. I guess he was trying to smash the wheel with the jack underneath the stair? I was a really confused and am still unsure how to describe what I saw. I kept my eye on them for a bit but they went away, out of my view.
Not long after though, I hear a banging coming from outside, the direction those two walked. Outside my other living room window I spotted the girl standing but no guy. Banging still happening and its like 9 PM so I go investigate. I poke out of my apartment and around the corner and spot the two couched at the bottom of the small three step stair case that leads out of the courtyard. I made slight eye contact with one of them so I darted the other direction and just took a walk around the entire complex. I noticed a lady a ball cap walking that direction to, I thought about asking her if she knew what was going on but she did not look familiar.
I walked around the building, across the street, to get a better view. It appeared to me the guy was trying to again crush the wheel with a car jack between the metal hand rail and the wall. I finished my loop around the place and just walked up to them and asked how it was going, only getting mumbles for a response. I then asked what they were doing to which the guy got really defensive. Asked "What are *you* doing here??". I told him I lived here and he said so did he, again defensively. I was uncomfortable with how quick that escalated so I asked them to let me though, the girl ran off during this. I walked to the parking lot on the other side of the courtyard not wanting to reveal where I lived and watched for a little, then went back to my unit when I saw the coast was clear.
The banging stopped but the guy stood outside on the side my bedroom window for a bit, talking to what I presume to be his mother and the actual renter of the unit across from me. I sensed she was asking him to come inside but couldn't hear what they were saying and was afraid they would hear me open my window.
At this point, I started to feel like I am being a crazy stalker neighbor but the wheel and the car jack and the banging were too much for me to ignore and this was all happening mere feet from where I live/shit/eat/work/sleep. I stayed at my desk where I can see whoever walks to their door. No one has really left but people keep approaching/entering their unit. A delivery guy left like 20 bags of groceries, and they took a solid 5 or so minutes to open the door after he was done unloading. It is not a big apartment (1 bedroom) they had to hear his knocks. Ball cap came back and entered the unit, didn't knock. A dude with back knocked, got let in. At one point I see girl from before leave with a suitcase and then come back, to a guy waiting on the stair case. They talk for a bit and then she goes inside and leaves him with the suitcase outside. He tried to put it in the outside closet but couldn't so he just leaves it outside and goes inside. On his way in he glances towards my unit and I get the feeling I have snooped enough so I close my blinds.
A while later, as I was writing this, I peeped out and noticed they brought in the suitcase through the sliding glass door. That made me think maybe they're just teenagers hiding shit from their mom. Leaving stuff outside and bringing in through the window was something I used to do to hide shit from my parents. They did look pretty young now that I think about it. On the other hand though, the jack and tire thing is extremely confusing and this is was a large suitcase we are talking about here. I feel bad for snooping but whatever is going on does not sit right with me. Am I just being paranoid or is this cause for legit concern?
TLDR: Some teenagers(?) were up to some nefarious activities involving a jack, a moped wheel, and a large suitcase.

My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for 2 months; we spent 4 months in the talking stage.
Last night, she went out to a club with her girlfriend. Bars and clubs here close at around 12 or 1 a.m. I texted her at 11 p.m. to ask how she was. It was pretty noisy and I knew 'cause she sent me voice messages. I was only texting while she sent only voice messages. She told me she was drunk and that I'd have to come pick her up and she'd call me when to do so. I am more than happy to do so. I told her to take care of her phone and not let any guys touch her. She said there was a guy but....I couldn't hear the rest of the message cos it was so loud. That's when the "I love you's" at the end of all the voice messages started coming in.
A few messages later, she told me a guy asked her if she wanted to go for a long drive and asked me what she should say. I couldn't hear the voice message cos it was muffled and I only found out later. I asked her what she said but she didn't reply to that message.
She kept sending incoherent voice messages until I got a call from her. I picked up, it was her friend. She told me I'd have to come pick them up and she told me to hurry up. I booked a cab as fast as I could and made my way there.
I called as soon as I reached the front of the building and her friend picked up. In the background, I could hear some guy saying "Tell him to go back". She told him I was already here. I told them to come down 'cause I wasn't sure if the bouncer was gonna let me in an hour before closing.
A few minutes passed by and no signs of them except some people exiting said club. I called and her friend told me to come upstairs.
I made my way up the lift and as soon as I exited, my girlfriend was sitting on the stairs, barely able to balance herself, taking support on a random stranger's shoulder while he had his hand on her back; his 2 or 3 friends were waiting for him near the elevator. He moved away as soon as I sat down next to her. I picked her up by the arms, supporting her on the back of my shoulders to walk down the stairs; her legs didn't move and we almost fell. She kept tripping as we traversed the stairs. When we got to the 2nd floor, her friend suggested taking the lift 'cause it'd be too much walking down the stairs.
As soon as the doors opened, the guys from earlier were in the lift (almost like they were waiting). They told us to get on but her friend and I said no. One of the boys called out my girlfriend's name and, without hesitation, she walked toward the lift. I grabbed her by the arm and asked her what she thought she was doing. They invited us to come inside with them, telling me it'd be okay but we rejected the offer.
We made our way down and what do you know, the guys from earlier were standing near the entrance. We hid behind the door until they left. We finally went home in a cab.
Keep in mind, my girlfriend's been talking gibberish the whole time and the only words and phrases I could catch were "Are you angry at me?" and "I love you". And I kept telling her now was not a good time throughout the whole ride back.
We finally made it to her apartment after her friend got a cab. She was lying down on her bed. I started asking her how much she drank. She replied 6 shots of vodka and 3 beers (She doesn't like beer).
I then asked her what she did at the club trying to find out why those guys knew her name and why they were so friendly with her. She kept saying, "Nothing", "I didn't do anything" and kept giving incomplete, vague answers while repeatedly saying she loved me and changed the topic.
I asked her about the "long drive" voice message when she blurted out that she gave her instagram ID to someone in the club. I immediately checked her phone and recognized him to be one of the guys from the club who was being friendly with her.
I then asked her how many guys she spoke to, how they knew her name and if they ever bought her any drinks (because she doesn't like beer and she had 3). She said "No one" and kept using the "I love you" to change the topic. She's still very wasted at this point and mumbling and talking gibberish.
I kept asking her the questions but she kept giving me the same reply. She was tugging on the neck of my t-shirt, scratching me with her nails. So I grabbed both her arms and continued the interrogation. By this point, I'm getting really pissed and my tone changes. She started crying but still wouldn't give me the answer. She eventually fell asleep and I left her place thinking I'd confront her the next day about it.
But the problem is she doesn't remember anything she does or says when she's wasted but I don't know if she would use that as an excuse the next day or when she's sober.
I have thought about ending things with her even though I have feelings for her; but I don't know how to go about it.
Should I ask her friend about what happened in the club that night, so I can put my mind to rest?
Should I ask my childhood friend, who's in the same class as her, how she is in class?
What should I do?
TLDR; Girlfriend entertained random strangers in club and is acting innocent. What should I do?

Writing this on behalf of a family member who does not use reddit.
-Can a father get a restraining order against an ex-girlfriend to restrict her from seeing his child? Or would that require a revised custody agreement?
Father is currently in Nevada. Ex gf is in Nevada. Mother is in Calfornia. Grandma is in California.
My brother, the dad, (42M) has a shared custody agreement (child is 9yo) w ex wife. This agreement was made after the mother kidnapped and moved child to another state (Texas) 8 hours away in secret. Dad hired atty and got shared custody based on those demographics. Mom moved back to same state shortly after new bf didn't work out. A few years later, Dad moves 5 hours away for a better job. He works days/nights/weekends in the tourism industry. Mother is primary parent. The child spends much of her time and weekends with grandma (father's mom.) Grandma picks child up from school 2-3x per wk atm (has fluctuated up to 5-7 days a week over the years) and is the go-to babysitter for ex wife. Custody agreement has not been revised.
More background: Ex wife has a drinking problem, just got breathalyzer taken off car. Has gotten into 2 serious car accidents on her way to pu her child from grandmas over the last 5 ish years. She can show up 6 hours late. Grandma has had to tell her no sometimes when coming to pick up child. She's never had any job for over a year except uber eats.
Dad should be taking his daughter more often. He works in tourism in a high anxiety/high stress environment, not regular 9-5. He does pay child support and for daughter to go to a private school. And he does see his daughter, they went to a father-daughter dance last month. He sees her roughly 3-4x a year for 1-2 week long vacations and they regularly speak on the phone.
Dad dated a new lady for 1.5 years. This woman is older, mid-late 50's. Very sad she never had a child...she's very open about that. Met the daughter 3 times, and SHE (no one else) felt a very strong connection. New gf has lots of money and wanted to hire an atty to take the daughter from the ex wife, whom she said was "horrible." Dad refused as he did not want to do that to the ex. (Despite the mother kidnapping child years prior, father refused to do that to the mother. )
Dad and new gf break up. Ex gf befriends ex wife post breakup. A few months later, ex gf posted on facebook that her and mom decided shes now co-parenting this child and and also posted that dad is not in child's life, which is untrue.
She's showering the ex wife w $ and compliments of being the best mom...sends uber eats, gas money, and showering little girl with horse riding lessons, clothes, restaurants. And both are admittingly telling the child that something is wrong with dad cause he's not around every weekend. (The ex wife was not telling the child this prior, just recently after the ex gf befriended her.)
More info on the new ex girlfriend, she is heavily involved in mlm's and she is a business marketing consultant that seems to be running from lawsuits left and right. She uses holistic health speak to gaslight ppl and justify her actions. When ppl are like - "hey you ripped me off!" she says stuff like "I hope you find time to heal" and "ill pray for you" She has used many iterations of her name, lots of LLC's. She seems to be very successful and being dishonest. There are many business complaints about this person online that document this.
The father has expressed to the ex wife that he does not want his daughter to spend any more time with the ex gf. Then the child told grandma that there is a future trip planned for the daughter to visit the ex gf, facilitated by the ex wife. Grandma told dad (her son.) Dad called ex wife and told her again he did not want his daughter spending more time with this woman. The next day, ex gf wrote an email to grandma saying that grandma's house is no longer safe because the information re the trip was shared with the father. It was very creepy. This woman has only known this family and the dynamics for 2 years but is speaking like she has parental rights to this child.
-Can Dad get an RO against this ex gf from seeing his child? Or will he need a revised custody agreement?
-Is it ok for the mother to leave the child with this woman (ex gf) in NV for extended vacations alone (she is dropping off in NV then returning to CA) if it's against the father's wishes?
Edit 2: The ex gf says that her reiki person confirmed to her that this little girl is her soul child. This is also written on her fb posts.
Its these social media posts and the email that make her seem weirdly obsessed with this little girl.
Edited: clarity

Writing this on behalf of a family member who does not use reddit.
-Should/can father pursue restraining order against an ex-girlfriend to restrict her from seeing his child?
-Any advice for financial help for father to get revised custody agreeement?
-can the ex wife leave the child alone with another adult for an extended period of time without fathers permission?
Father is currently in Nevada. Ex gf is in Nevada. Mother is in Calfornia. Grandma is in California.
My brother, the dad, (42M) has a shared custody agreement (child is 9yo) w ex wife. This agreement was made after the mother kidnapped and moved child to another state (Texas) 8 hours away in secret. Dad hired atty and got shared custody based on those demographics. Mom moved back to same state shortly after new bf didn't work out. A few years later, Dad moves 5 hours away for a better job. He works days/nights/weekends in the tourism industry. Mother is primary parent. The child spends much of her time and weekends with grandma (father's mom.) Grandma picks child up from school 2-3x per wk atm (has fluctuated up to 5-7 days a week over the years) and is the go-to babysitter for ex wife. Custody agreement has not been revised.
More background: Ex wife has a drinking problem, just got breathalyzer taken off car. Has gotten into 2 serious car accidents on her way to pu her child from grandmas over the last 5 ish years. She can show up 6 hours late. Grandma has had to tell her no sometimes when coming to pick up child. She's never had any job for over a year except uber eats.
Dad should be taking his daughter more often. He works in tourism in a high anxiety/high stress environment, not regular 9-5. He does pay child support and for daughter to go to a private school. And he does see his daughter, they went to a father-daughter dance last month. He sees her roughly 3-4x a year for 1-2 week long vacations and they regularly speak on the phone.
Dad dated a new lady for 1.5 years. This woman is older, mid-late 50's. Very sad she never had a child...she's very open about that. Met the daughter 3 times, and SHE (no one else) felt a very strong connection. New gf has lots of money and wanted to hire an atty to take the daughter from the ex wife, whom she said was "horrible." Dad refused as he did not want to do that to the ex. (Despite the mother kidnapping child years prior, father refused to do that to the mother. )
Dad and new gf break up. Ex gf befriends ex wife post breakup. *Both the ex wife and ex gf have posted on facebook that the ex gf is now co-parenting this child/is a step parent. And the posts say that the father is not involved in his daughter's life.
Ex gf is showering the ex wife w $ and compliments of being the best mom...sends uber eats, gas money, and showering little girl with horse riding lessons, clothes, restaurants. And both are admittingly telling the child that something is wrong with dad cause he's not around every weekend. (The ex wife was not telling the child this prior, just recently after the ex gf befriended her.)
More info on the new ex girlfriend, she is heavily involved in mlm's and she is a business marketing consultant that seems to be running from lawsuits left and right. She uses holistic health speak to gaslight ppl and justify her actions. When ppl are like - "hey you ripped me off!" she says stuff like "I hope you find time to heal" and "ill pray for you" She has used many iterations of her name, lots of LLC's. She seems to be very successful and being dishonest. There are many business complaints about this person online that document this.
The father has expressed to the ex wife that he does not want his daughter to spend any more time with the ex gf. Then the child told grandma that there is a future trip planned for the daughter to visit the ex gf, facilitated by the ex wife. Grandma told dad (her son.) Dad called ex wife and told her again he did not want his daughter spending more time with this woman. The next day, ex gf wrote an email to grandma saying that grandma's house is no longer safe because the information re the trip was shared with the father. It was very creepy. This woman has only known this family and the dynamics for 2 years but is speaking like she has parental rights to this child.
edited: clarity

My partner has had a blocked nose every night for the past year.. maybe 10 months? As soon as he lays down, (sometimes it just turns into bed time and it starts) he can’t breath out of 1 or both his nostrils!! It causes him to have symptoms of maybe sleep apnea, mouth breathing and what I think it seems like chronic sinusitis? He’s often so blocked up no matter what he does! Then when he gets up for the day it somewhat improves, nighttime and lying down is 10x worse though. YES I have deffs told him so many times to visit a doctor, I’m considering booking it myself as it’s starting to cause us to bicker. For reference he’s a big build, like tall and muscular but not overweight or unhealthy at all!! He can run further than me and breath just fine lol. I just don’t get it. But I would love some insight if I’m on the right track here of what is causing it! Please advice would be great! He does get hayfever and is allergic to cats ect We both can barely get sleep at night, often end up in seperate rooms (nothing wrong with that at all) so I can sleep, but I can’t imagine what it’s like for him :(

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/SisterGroundedThrway She posted in AmItheAsshole
Mood Spoiler: hopeful ending
Original Post: April 29, 2024
I (25F) live in a three bedroom apartment with my fiancé (27M). We have a six month old son.
My younger sister Mia (fake name; 20F) recently started attending a university that's closer to where I live than both my parents' places. Because she needs to get to class early in the morning, my fiancé and I allowed her to move into our spare bedroom. She's been living with us since January.
There's a set of rules I've been having Mia follow since she moved in, mostly to make sure everyone can live peacefully. One of the most important rules concerns arriving after my son's bedtime (usually between 19h and 20h). Mia is allowed to come home however late she wants, as long as she doesn't make too much noise.
The door to the apartment has an electronic keypad lock, and the one we use also has a normal lock under it. Everyone has a copy of the key, but we all prefer typing in the password. However, the keypad is very noisy, and my son's nursery isn't far from the door. Every time the keypad is used after I've put the baby to sleep, he wakes up.
So naturally, the rule about getting home late includes not using the keypad. Everyone, including Mia, has known about this since day one.
At first, we had no problems. But now that Mia has gotten used to college life, she's been going out at night frequently. This past month, she has arrived home after midnight every Friday and Saturday night. She always forgets the "don't make too much noise" rule, and she has, on multiple occasions, used the keypad. My son wakes up crying every. Damn. Time.
I'd sit her down and remind her of the rule whenever this happened, but she'd continue to do it. My fiancé and I got tired of putting our baby back to sleep because of that, so I changed the password and told Mia she was no longer allowed to use the keypad. She agreed, and promised to try to make less noise.
On Friday night this week, Mia went out with her friends. She came home very drunk at 4AM, and forgot that I'd changed the password. Not only did she use the keypad, she also got the password wrong so many times that she triggered an alarm.
I was furious. Not only did my baby wake up crying, but I also got complaints from my neighbors.
The next morning, I told Mia that I'm establishing a curfew: while living with me, she needs to be home by 20h. She won't be allowed to go out at night for the rest of the semester.
Mia put up a fight, saying I have no right to "ground" her (EDIT: I never used that word) like this or dictate what she does with her free time, but I held my ground. I told her she'll be free to do as she pleases when she has her own place and raises her own family. While living with mine, she has to do as I say.
She told our parents about this. Our mother and stepfather are both on my side; our father is on Mia's. He's saying I'm not her mother, and I have no right to treat her like a child. He also thinks it's unfair to do this to her over a drunken mistake.
AITA?
EDIT: No, I can't mute the keypad.
Relevant Comments:
OOP clarifies:

She is living here for free, but only for now. The deal is for her to start paying a small portion of rent once she gets a job.

Commenter: What if she never gets a job or takes months? What if she gets a job but doesn't tell you because she prefers freeloading?

OOP: If the latter happens, I will find out. She tells our mother everything, and my mom would tell me. I know my family.
But honestly, I don't need her to pay me right now. My father still gives her some money for personal expenses, so I'm not spending too much on her.

Commenter: I'm having genuine trouble how unlocking multiple locks and jangling keys into a door is quieter than a keypad (excluding the alarm) and also wouldn't wake the baby up.

OOP: It's only one lock. It's not noiseless, but it's quiet enough that it doesn't wake the baby.
The keypad makes very loud noises every time something is typed in, as well as another one once the door is open.
OOP (different comment addressing how loud it is): Very. It makes noises whenever something is typed in, as well as another one once the door has been unlocked. And she's not just quietly typing in the password, she's being loud besides that (slamming the door, knocking stuff over, etc.).

Commenter: I believe some electronic locks have a silent function. At least my alarm system's keypad does. Although I'm not so sure. I don't have electronic doorlocks, which is why I asked the question in the first place.

OOP: The one we use doesn't have a silent function.

Commenter: Just curious, is it possible to move your nursery to a different room that is further from the door? Not saying that you have to or anything, just wondering if it is a possibility would it help at all. You are definitely NTA though.
Also have you thought about saying she can go out later, but can't come home between 8pm and 6am? Basically she can go out, but has to crash elsewhere?

OOP: A lot of people are asking this, so let me explain why this is not an option.
Technically, it is possible. But moving my son from the nursery that I lovingly prepared while pregnant to the room my sister has been messing up since January would require time, effort and patience, none of which I'd have for this situation. I have a baby and a job, as does my fiancé, and I'm 99.9% sure my sister wouldn't help us. I'm making enough efforts as it is, and I refuse to do something like this when she can easily just use her key.
As for crashing somewhere else, I have suggested it before. There's always a reason why she can't do it.

Commenter: NTA and you've given her way more chances than I would have.
I would tell her that if she wakes the baby up one more time, she's out. I can't imagine how annoyed your husband must be that you keep letting your adult sister act like an entitled 16-year-old.

OOP: My fiancé is actually the reason I've been giving her this many chances. A big reason why I'm establishing the curfew now is because the situation has gotten bad enough that even he's sick of it.

Commenter: Well that's good that he hasn't been at his wits end as long as you. I would flip my lid if my husband let his sisters do this so I was coming at it from that perspective.

OOP: Understandable, really.
He's a younger sibling, so he tends to be more patient with her (especially now that we're all living together). He always agreed that she was being rude, but didn't want us to fight over it. Changing the password was his idea.

Commenter: Have you considered making her get the baby back to sleep? (not if she's drunk of course) Perhaps she would then understand the problem better.

OOP: The problem is that she usually is drunk, so there aren't many opportunities for her to help.

Commenter (downvoted): Yeah. And I'm not sure if women like OP understand this but babies can and should get used to people making normal sounds when living in a household. She probably is entitled and expects everyone else to cater around her baby.

OOP: I'm not sure I appreciate the "women like OP" comment there, but my son is used to normal sounds. The door beeping loudly at 4 in the morning is not a normal sound.
No, I don't expect everyone else to cater to my baby, but I do expect those sharing a space with him to let him sleep. It's not hard to use the normal key.

Commenter: The school year is probably just about done though, right? Maybe she should live with friends for next academic year.

OOP: We don't live in the US. The school year started in February.

OOP is voted NTA
Update Post: May 10, 2024
Before I start this update, I want to recommend reading my comments on my previous post. There were many questions that I was able to answer there.
It's very hard to explain my relationship with my younger sister in proper detail, but I will say that, while I love her dearly, Mia has always been a very inconsiderate person.
I have countless examples. She almost didn't attend our cousin's wedding last year because she didn't want to walk to the venue (which was two blocks away from our mom's place). We shared a bathroom when we were younger, and she'd insist on having the top drawers because she "didn't want to crouch down", but she was cool with me doing so. She slept through my college graduation, and didn't apologize for it.
I'm bringing this up now because whenever I asked Mia why she kept forgetting to use her key, her excuse was that looking through her bag took too long and the keypad was quicker. In her head, bothering other people is better than slightly inconveniencing herself.
After I established the curfew, Mia tried different ways to make me change my mind. She'd talk about not being able to cancel her tickets for Party X, or about the fun her friends had at Party Y. She'd show me her "developing" LinkedIn profile, and tell me she had learned her lesson and would be more responsible.
At first, I really didn't want to have to kick her out (which many of you suggested), but I have limits. A few days ago, I heard her complaining to her friends on the phone about her "bitch of a sister" who wouldn't let her do anything.
Later that day, I asked her which of our parents she planned on moving in with. Cue more fighting.
I managed to tell her that I had no obligation to continue housing her (for free!) if she couldn't respect my family. Mia could either move back in with our parents or continue living with me for the low price of respecting my infant son and stop complaining about it.
We did have a very productive conversation afterwards. I managed to get a lot off my chest, as did my sister. Mia apologized for everything. She admitted she'd been selfish, promised she'd make efforts to change and mature.
I'm a strong believer that people can change, which is why I'm not kicking her out right now. But I made it very clear that Mia is on thin ice, and the next time she does anything like this will be the last time she ever sees the inside of my home.
The curfew will continue until the end of the semester, as originally planned. My father also agreed to pay for Mia to go back to therapy. It helped her a lot when she was younger, so I'm hopeful about the future of this living situation.
I also want to thank those who suggested a white noise machine. My son is not a light sleeper, the keypad is just very loud and startles him awake, but my fiancé and I are still looking into getting one. Anything that helps our baby sleep better is welcome.
Thank you, Reddit!
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: The fact that she'd rather wake a sleeping infant than go through her purse is just... Selfish and lazy is too weak a descriptor for that. Also the idea that you, not her, is keeping her from doing stuff... Mind boggling!
I'm really happy that she's in therapy 'cause that shit aint normal. Did your parents never allow her to suffer any consequences for her actions as you were growing up? And/or is she incredibly stupid?

OOP: She did suffer consequences, but Mia never liked hearing the word "no", specially from me. I wouldn't even call her lazy, she just genuinely doesn't think about anyone else. If it's a minor inconvenience to her, she probably won't do it. That's why I'm so glad she's returning to therapy

Commenter: You realize that this summer will be her “hot girl era “ and she will still be her. But kudos for second chances

OOP: I live in the Southern Hemisphere. Summer starts in December, and we'll all be traveling for the holidays. But I don't think she'd want to stay with us during the Summer anyway.

Commenter: You should've kick her out that night,why are you being so nice??? That's not gonna help you or son.And lives rent free she would of been out so fast.

OOP: I'm being nice exclusively because Mia is going back to therapy, which was very helpful before she quit.
And I do believe things will get better. My sister is smart enough to understand that the extra time it would take for her to get to class if she moved back in with one of our parents is WAY more of an inconvenience than just using her key.
But this is her last chance. If she ever tries anything like this again, she's out.

Editor's note: OOP titled her the final update as her "last update," so I marked it as concluded.