I feel myself solo

Well, as the title says. I'm a noob, and only played to lvl50 with a rogue pc along with the friends that told me to play. And then I stopped for two years due to reasons.
I've binge watched Solo Leveling (animated) and started watching Shangri-La Frontier, so I'm craving an MMO, and WoW Classic is the only thing I can run on my shit pc.
And I don't want to make a whole new character, but I'm just so lost as to what to do. My equipment is probably trash, I'm poor, and I don't know how advanced or behind I am on rogue quests. The only thing that it's fine is my talents, 'cause I made sure they were, before I stopped playing.
So my question is. What is some realistic shit that my rogue should have equipped? Nothing too fancy, just basic stuff I could go grind for without too much trouble, and to get back the muscle memory of using my skills while I get it. And maybe also, if you feel like writing a bible explaining shit, tell me which professions/jobs (can't remember what they're called) I should grind. I can look that up myself, but is the miscellaneous things that I have trouble with, like which weapons and armor are good or not.

Gender: Trust me, I would love to have the satisfaction of saying that my gender identity was easy to decipher, but it very much isn't. When I was a very small child, maybe around six or seven years old, I was playing with my toys, and then out of nowhere I got the super strong feeling that I was born in the wrong body, that when I was born, God had put me in a female body when he should’ve actually put me in a male body. I had always understood boys more than I understood girls; I believed myself to be an oy, but after I told my mother this feeling, we got into a one-sided heated argument with my mother. I decided to just identify as a tomboy, since her saying I was born a girl, so that's what I was, didn't change how I feel. When I was in sixth grade, I didn’t necessarily feel like a boy or a girl; I just felt super gender neutral, like I wasn’t anything at all; I was just a person, but at the beginning of high school, I began to feel super masculinely aligned again. As time went on, I felt a lot more genders; sometimes I feel like a man; sometimes I feel like a woman; sometimes I feel gender neutral; sometimes I feel completely genderless; and for a long time, I identified as genderfluid, but for the last three weeks, my gender has been suspiciously absent, and it’s actually starting to stress me out. Most of the time I feel masculine and gender neutral at the same time; sometimes I feel genderless but also feminine, but now I just feel absolutely nothing at all.
Sexuality: I forced myself to be attracted to people because I thought that's what I was supposed to do because all the other kids my age were being in love; I just became really good friends with my 'crushes' and never wanted to kiss, hold hands, or do more than just hang out; I never thought any of my classmates were attractive; if society deems someone attractive, then so do I; I never realize people are genuinely drawn to people they think are attractive and want to DO things with them; I think romance is gross when I see it IRL or between live-action people and think it should just stay in books or non-live-action media. I just think people of any gender presentation look pretty. Growing up, I developed a 'crush' on anyone who was nice to me; I had a crush on ALL my friends and just wanted to hang out with them a lot; I got super uncomfortable and my attraction faded when we became 'intimate' with me like holding hands or wanting to date; and I feel this towards ALL genders, so I thought I was pan. But inside my head is the only place I feel sexual and romantic attraction, and it's only between non-live action characters and is always experienced from a 3rd-person perspective. Love and sex are just a storyline to me; I feel the romantic and sexual emotions of the character I'm telling the story's perspective from, but once the storyline ends, so does my attraction. I have a libido; I still experience personal desires, but I find that they can be managed easily on my own. I feel very repulsed by the idea of having sex with someone else. But, when I do get aroused, it's sexual attraction to anyone of any gender, but again, it's viewed from the 3rd-person perspective. After the solo mumbo jumbo, the arousal and sexual attraction fade into nothing; I even get repulsed by sex and romance for a long while after solo spicy adventures. I genuinely don't understand how somebody looks at someone else and wants to touch them, kiss them, and have sex with them. It's always been "Oh, they're pretty!"; it's never been "Oh, they're pretty; I want to date/have sex with them!". When I was a kid, I was a hopeless romantic; I wanted to find my soulmate, but the way of doing that was unrealistic. It was more like a remix of a Disney movie rather than something I actually wanted. I saw other kids my age have crushes, and adults always asked me if I was going to get a boyfriend, so I always thought it was something I was supposed to want, but I don't. I'm fine with being single forever. I'm happy this way, but I also don't want to do anything with anyone, so I feel as though I'm somehow on both the a-spec and m-spec. I’m not sure how exactly. All I know is that I consider both men and women attractive, but I don’t necessarily care about their gender identity when it comes to finding them attractive or not. I honestly can't understand how someone wants to do romantic or sexual things with another person. I dated this one guy in my freshman year, and it only lasted a week, and I avoided him like the plague the whole time. I felt all mushy and blushy when we talked and did things together, but once we started dating, I got super uncomfortable. We texted, and I was a huge flirt, saying we could hold hands and all that stuff , but when I went to school and he wanted to hold hands, I didn't want that. I didn't like being touched in a romantic way. I'm fine with my friends, though. What's confusing is that, at the same time as never wanting or feeling romantic attraction, I still want to do those things. I literally only feel romantic and sexual attraction to fictional characters. Because I am attracted to [female OC] and [male OC] (currently speaking, not speaking about past fictional crushes). I always have the strongest desire to be with [female OC], touch her, kiss her, and do other things, but I don't feel those things in the real world. She is literally my soulmate. Yes, romance and sex are still just a storyline to me, but I would say that I am in love with her. And sometimes the same can be said for [male OC]. There are some moments where I, Rowan, will get blushy and just smitten over him, but again, it's never in the real world. Would this even be considered a romantic or sexual attraction? I think it would. It's very rare when I feel something for real-world people, but it's always on the a-spectrum, like cupioromantic or grey-, for example. The reason I think I have a gender preference is because my entire life I have only been introduced to boys and girls, and the only queer people that I see are online, and all of them are attractive regardless of their gender, but again, that’s only online. How do I know if I actually feel that in the real world? How do I know if this is even a romantic attraction or just an aesthetic attraction? @DannyPhantomexe and @_augustskyz_ are both hot as heck, and just seeing them on my For You page gets me giddy. I honestly don’t know how to explain this part (m-spec) any better. I was brought up in a ultra-conservative Christian family and community, so I’ve only ever been introduced to gender men and women, so I’ve only ever been attracted to men and women, but when I am online, I find everybody attractive, regardless of what their gender is. If they have an objectively pretty appearance, then I think they are pretty. Growing up, obviously, I was attracted to men, because that’s all I ever grew up thinking was OK, but I just remember seeing girls on TV and thinking that they were so pretty, wanting to hold hands with them, and wanting to snuggle and cuddle with them. but I just thought that meant I just wanted to be really good friends with them and wasn’t anything romantic. But knowing about the queer community nowadays, I would technically consider that romantic. Any ideas as to what this would be?
— Rowan (they/he)

hey y'all. so, fair warning, this is prolly gonna be a pretty long post knowing myself, and frankly it's prolly gonna get lost in the sauce as well but I think I just kinda needed to vent a bit. I didn't wanna post this on LowSodium cuz even though this post is relatively low sodium, I frankly just wanted to bring it to all of you guys. I haven't had the best rep in this server for my takes either, but...
this is different. this is more about who we are, as people, not as guardians.
for a bit of context, I'd been passively fostering a small community in the hopes that we could be really tight knit. it all started one day when I was kinda really happy. I'd just done one of the coolest things I'd found realistic for myself, a solo flawless Duality run, and my interest in the game, instead of waning as it had been, almost just fully recharged. I went into a sherpa run, just like in the good old days, and found a really cool set of people. the kind of people that really felt like we could be friends. over the course of several months, we formed into a group chat, and eventually into a server, that, despite my expectations, happened to have some pretty active people. and while some fell off, probably not even playing Destiny anymore, some stayed. sometimes even more than enough for a raid. this had exceeded almost all of my expectations, and I frankly didn't think it would ever have been possible to create something like this.
I had wanted this for ages, ever since my first ever day 1 (all the way back at Root of Nightmares). I remember going into a group where I had no idea what to expect, only to get a seemingly easy day 1 dream shattered by tragic morale and elitists who, in my opinion, were the reason why we couldn't make as much progress as we could. and since that day, I vowed to create a community that wouldn't ever have this problem. one that had... not teammates, but friends. one that wouldn't ever have an air of intimidation, about someone complaining about someone else's DPS, about someone failing a mechanic. one where we could enjoy the game as much as I do.
a week before Pantheon, we'd found a really decent set of people. most of them who I've invited from my past sherpas, some that a couple of the members had found from their own LFG's, some from even my old server, or friends from another completely non-Destiny server. we'd found our people.
and day 1 came. we spent 8 hours that day, working on Atraks Sovereign. longer than I've ever spent in any raid ever. but you know what? we did it. we pushed through, despite all of the hardships and failures, we pushed through. as comrades, as helldivers, as a fireteam. I knew it would only get harder. I knew that we would face harder challenges. but I knew that we would do it together.
as week 2 approached, we planned, we learned, we found strats, and we conquered our clear and spent only about 4 hours that one day, striking down Oryx Exalted. I got literally my first ever Zaouli's, with an amazing roll by my standards. we were happy, we did it.
but no good thing could last. as we wound up for week 3, something felt different. we had struggled only a little bit more than before, yet there was that air... that feeling of something iffy. I'd brushed it off at first, just continuing and trying our best. but as our attempts continued on, after merely an hour and some spent on Golgoroth, I'd found half of our fireteam disconnected. but not only just half, but the half that was here, the entire time. ever since week 1, ever since 3 months ago when the server had barely been founded. the OG, so to speak. me and the remaining guardians simply hopped into Onslaught, wondering what could've happened as it didn't seem that bad. and over the coming days, I'd found out that I was the one responsible. I was the one stubbornly running an arc hunter build that I personally thought would make me comfortable, while also aligning with the arc surge, against the will of one of our members. but, whether I was wrong or whether I was right, it didn't matter. I was the reason why he had left and taken everyone w/, and not only this, but I was hit with the one thing that I had wanted to shelter everyone else from. that elitism, that micromanagement, the ordering of people around. it hurt.
over the coming days, we'd eventually made up, I'd made concessions and compromises. but it didn't really feel the same. now, as the week of -15 looms to a close, I've found these very people, the people that had been with the server from the start, inviting me to ditch any of the people that had wanted to run Pantheon in the server; to work with LFG's. I couldn't do this. having such a big event be absolutely let down, to probably be carried through in 2 hours or less by people who had hyperoptimized every single little thing, while abandoning the community that I fostered. I couldn't.
I talked with my friends, some of the closer Destiny friends that I'd had, who I had known for longer, just never really linked up with, only to find that the tightest knit communities that I had seen had also been suffering, the failures weighing down on each other and pitting us against each other.
what did Pantheon do to us? how did this happen... was the challenge so steep? or were our friendships simply too weak? time can only tell, but in the meanwhile, we just gotta keep going.
thanks for reading y'all. this might've seemed a tad overdramatic, and while I won't deny that it was, I can certainly promise that I'm not overreacting. Destiny, the friends I've seen, the things I've done, while I'd not like to admit it, has been my home for the past 2 odd years. and this... this just hurts... a little.
but, we must stay ever vigilant. Stay strong, Guardians.

I recently started dating a person who already has a few other partners. They barely have time to see me and we've only ever gone on one actual solo date and they've only been to my house once. They claim their life is super full and busy and that they only want things casual.
Yet they are still actively on the apps and talk about how they want somebody for xyz that they started seeing me for. When asked about it they say that them still looking doesn't change anything with us, but if they barely have time to see me, and barely have done any of those things with me, and they're still looking for that connection. What am I? Did I not fit the bill and they are looking for someone else who does? If they don't have time for seeing me consistently how're they going to add yet another person to the mix?
I really really care for them and they are a great person, maybe they met me and I fit a completely different bill and they want me for that but like I still have all these feelings of not being good enough and idk...I probably answered it myself with how they found me and I was something else but like...what is that?
I also don't understand casual, and may already have fallen in love with them. Can love and casual fall into the same space? They chose the word casual but it feels like a normal relationship to me? Besides the time thing but I'm ok with the current situation, but adding yet another person seems like it'll cut in to that. I don't know, it's a bunch of things and maybe talking it out with yall will help me sort it all out in my head?

This is my first reddit post so please don't grill me to hard.
My long term gf and I haven't been in a good place lately and everything she says and does makes me feel less and less connected to her, some of it makes me not wanna be in the relationship anymore.
We have 2 kids that are autistic. Our daughter is 6 and is nonverbal so things with her are very difficult to manage. Our son is 5 but he's pretty much normal besides some sensory issues.
Lately I've been working a lot bc it's rush season at my job and I don't really have a choice and she does the morning school routine with the kids. I come home around the time that the kids get home from school and do dinner and cleaning up and she goes to work. (she only works maybe 5 hours sometimes)
She REFUSES to help out with any of the home responsibilities. She won't do laundry or dishes or even give the kids baths on her off days. She let's all the responsibilities fall on me. She's only given the kids a bath maybe 3 times SINCE BIRTH. She'll complain about the way I do the household chores but then won't do anything.
She is CONSTANTLY laying in bed unless she has to take the kids to school or go to work. She doesn't have any hobbies or ambitions and that alone is making me not wanna be with her. I know that sounds awful but she's content with just existing and watching TV for her whole life. I have hobbies and I've got goals that I try to push myself to hit.
She's very unsupportive when it comes to my hobbies too. I have a solo music career and I'm play guitar for a band, I also try to live stream when I get the chance. Lately I've been working so much that those things are put on the back burner. When I try to talk to her about the stuff I'm working on or ideas I might have she is uninterested and never had any input on what I said. It's like I'm talking to myself.
I've always tried to be supportive of anything that she had wanted to do bc I hate seeing her in bed 24/7. She used to do art stuff and wanted to start selling it and I helped her create pages for it on FB and tiktok. Even edited some videos for her to post. (She only recorded 2 videos before giving up)
I go to work, I pay all the bills, I take care of the kids, I do the cleaning, and all I want is support but it's obvious that she's not interested in be there for me. I bought an engagement ring a year ago and haven't considered giving it to her bc of this. I'm not really sure what to do.

First I’ll (35F) acknowledge that on the disability spectrum I am quite privileged: I’m ambulatory, don’t need mobility aids, I make decent money so I can afford more supports, etc. However, I don’t see much in this sub on this topic and thought I could post some of my tips and experiences to open a discussion. I would love to learn about what others cope with and how they manage. While I do work in the disability sphere as an OT, which helps me navigate, I’m by no means an expert on disability and travels.
I started solo traveling around 2017 after a breakup. Personally my biggest struggles are POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome), fatigue, muscle tone / pain issues, and a previous brain injury / craniotomy. I take regular daily medications and use a CPAP. I used to joke that it isn’t a u/stinkspiritt solo trip if I don’t fall and face plant in public, but I think I’m breaking that streak (fingers crossed). Some things I like to do / started to do:

1. 3 Ps of Energy Conservation: Pace, Plan, Prioritize. This is an OT thing and most important for me. Try and space out my day with rest breaks and take naps if possible. Prioritize what is most important for me to do that day and what I’m ok with skipping if I start to feel poorly. Slow down! Actually I’m trash at that, but I’m working on trying not to do everything all at once.
   
2. Make sure my hotel is near public transit, or research good ways to get around that isn’t all walking. In Vietnam I loved their Uber motorbike app (can’t remember what it’s called).
   
3. Listen to my body, and not feel upset or disappointed when I need to rest. Rest is great. Additionally I try not to be hard on myself for not doing everything. I do what I can and I enjoy it.
   
4. Be mindful of my nutrition: I don’t know about you but I can get caught up in the excitement and suddenly it’s end of day and I only had breakfast. I also get a little queasy with travel so it’s easier for me to skip food. I’m in the habit of forcing myself to stop for food at regular times, which honestly brings my appetite right back. I also make sure to have plenty of water and started traveling with my stainless steel insulated water bottle.
   
5. If available I like to take a hot bath to soak the muscles. I was spoiled in Japan by picking up some epsom salt packs at the convenience stores.
   
6. I regularly do a yoga stretching program from a creator I follow on YouTube. I also try to add some of my PT exercises as well.
   
7. I started journaling lately to help me remember all of my experiences better.
   
8. I am trying to regularly bring my CPAP. Every trip I want to leave it, but it’s worth it I know. I cannot justify $1k for the mini travel CPAP, not yet at least.
   
9. Schedule some self care if possible: I got massages like every other day in Vietnam and Cambodia, got a manicure in Kyoto, etc. good way to force me to sit down.
   
10. Breathe: a good deep slow breath when feeling overwhelmed.
    

It seems like a ton of pre planning but I actually don’t plan much. I usually figure out my itinerary day of. Maybe I could do more if I planned ahead more, but also maybe I’d have more disappointment if I plan and that day I don’t feel well and can’t do it? Not sure.
Any other disabled travelers here? I would love to hear about what you do to adapt and where you’ve been able to visit!

For context, I've tried to switch to Linux a few times by now, but i'd defnitely still call myself a noob and sorely lacking in experience with Linux (or coding for that matter). I've tried Ubuntu one or two times, then I briefly used Linux Mint, and now I'm on Debian 12 and I feel like giving up again and switching to Windows (Although I have been considering switching to Alpine only because I have a goblin in my head that cares WAY too much about optimization and efficiency so when it sees low minimum requirements it goes ooga booga install. So I guess that's another question I have: based on what I'm going to do on Linux, is Alpine a viable or good option?).
To clarify, what I plan to use Linux for is mainly for casual things along with programming. Stuff like web browsing and viewing media files, gaming (specifically a mix of old and modern games, along with some more obscure stuff like BYOND), writing and creating documents, learning game development to make my own game (I plan on working solo with the engine being Godot), and learning how to code. I would also prefer the distro to be lightweight as my desktop computer is on the very low end.
My issues, I'm assuming, are fairly standard and common: difficulty getting things properly installed, having things just straight up not work, and just generally being lost and not being able to figure out how to resolve any of this on my own. And so, I'm starting to wonder whether I'm just being a fucking idiot or it's just that the distro I'm on isn't best for what I need.
As for what I'm working with, I have two computers: a laptop and a desktop, both of which I'd like to switch to Linux for. My desktop computer is the Lenovo ThinkCentre E73 Mini Tower, a 2013 pre-built desktop computer meant for business (yes, it's a hand-me-down, it's been used and abused for quite a few years now, and it's still the one I mainly use nowadays). Here are it's specs:
CPU Intel Core i5-4570S CPU @ 2.90GHz x 4 Memory 3.6 GiB GPU Mesa Intel HD Graphics 4600 (1.5 GiB)
As for my laptop, it's an ASUS X580VD (and it's also an old laptop and a hand-me-down). Here are it's specs:
Processor Intel Core i7-7700HQ CPU @ 2.80Ghz GeForce GTX 1050 Installed RAM 16.0 GB
So essentially, I'm asking for some guidance on whether the distro I'm using is suited for what I want to do and I just have fuckall for brains, or it isn't and I should change to a different distro.
EDIT: I should also note that on Debian 12 I've been getting freezes on my desktop computer when I'm running a lot of things (like for example having a lot of tabs while running a retro game and Discord) and it takes half to a full hour for my PC to unfreeze, something which has never happened to me on Windows.
ANOTHER EDIT: If you're wondering why I'm asking about Alpine so much, it's so that I can get the goblin inside my head to shut up.

I'm just going to be blunt because almost everyone else here seems to be easier on Michelle just because Kim is worse.
She looks awful. Face wise, the problem is unfortunate that she carries a lot of fat in her face to the point where it ages her by at least 2-3 decades and make her look like she weighs at least twice as much as she does. And she's been doing the skincare routine (and spending god knows how much) for how long now and her face still isn't any better?
Sure she makes an effort when she goes on her solo dates, etc. (although she and Kim look TERRIBLE when they wear those really thick false eyelashes and blush their cheeks so much) but that's mostly because her hair is down. When her hair is up in a bun, she looks as old as my grandmother who is in her 80s. My mother (who is in her mid-50s) thinks so too and she is always shocked when I tell her they're both at least a few years younger than me. And Michelle is fussing about turning 30??
This also jogs into memory of a time when Kim and Michelle were gloating about some woman telling them they look young for their ages. Do they? I'm Asian and to me, they look at LEAST in their 50s, especially when they wear their hair up. Maybe I'm being too harsh but if I ever look like either of them, I'd be looked at with disgust and receive judgment from not just my relatives (especially my close family), but even strangers. I know this because I have friends and coworkers who don't look nearly as bad as them that get gawked at.
Honestly I used to think it was confidence that Michelle could take herself out on solo trips looking the way she does, but now I'm sure it's also mixed with delusion which makes sense because when you put effort into how you look, you feel good even if you don't look as good.
But I will acknowledge that at least she can do things on her own unlike Kim who (and this is something I will never understand) is more "famous" and a former "beauty guru" who still can't seem to do anything on her own that she has to drag Michelle around like a security blanket with her especially whenever she's around HER IN-LAWS. That will never not be bizarre to me. Kim is obviously more insecure with her looks than she lets on. Just because Michelle looks bigger than her doesn't mean Kim's not as fat as her.
Also Kim is always in "oversized" tops. Not that it matters because I like wearing oversized tops myself but I feel like she thinks she feels "petite" in them like those slimmer girls who wear them (probably also explains why she does her hair up in that damn "messy bun" a lot). The fact is she's short and very obese and it still shows no matter how big the top she wears is. She will always look dumpy unless she loses like 50lbs. (She's admitted her highest weight was 160lbs and that was years ago.)
I think if they both drop 1/3 of their weight, they'd look so much better. We've seen Michelle when she was on her weight loss journey and she was looking a lot better when she dropped 50lbs.
Many people say Kim is sabotaging her with the mukbangs, etc, but as Michelle has clarified, she is her own person. If she wants to live her life eating crap with Kim, that's on her. She and Kim have broken their friendship off before, and if Michelle truly thinks she can do better in life without her, she'd do it but she won't (at least for now) because Kim is such a "generous" gift-giver.
I've been holding off on this for so long (particularly my judgment on Michelle), because I always see people crapping on Kim's looks (which I agree with - her small but fat fish lips along with her round soccerball head is a bad combination) but never really as much Michelle who may be the better of the two but still looks just as bad.
Michelle may come off as "compassionate and caring" but the way she preaches about how much of a "nice/good person" she is and that she'd nevvver judged anyone the way she was/is judged by her relatives when we know all too well that she and Kim gossip all the time and are just as bitchy as we can be (esp. off camera) is just insane.
They probably call themselves empaths too because they're *such* kindhearted people. I'm sure if they both got a dose of the truth serum, they would not be friends.

I'm not upselling myself I'm not a hard worker I do what I feel like doing which is anywhere from 3 to 7 totes or 2 to 4 rolltrainers in a 6-7 shift.
I'm not expecting much out of my coworkers but the fact that we started counting totes and rolltrainers made it very obvious some of them aren't doing jack shit.
How the fuck can they average less than two totes and one rollcontainer each shift? And these aren't solo shifts there's two workers.

I am an American woman traveling alone to London for the first time, and I've rented a flat in the Paddington Basin. I'm COMPLETELY unaware of ANYTHING in London, other than what I've seen on TV (Kensington Palace, Big Ben), so I have no clue whether or not this is a decent area for me to be staying?? My plan is to spend my five days there just exploring and enjoying the city for the first time. I would love some help with what to do and see (traveling solo) to really get the London experience. I'd also love to know if I should keep this flat or cancel it and look for one in a better neighborhood? I'd like to be somewhere where it is relatively charming and feels fun to exit and walk around. I'd also like to of course feel safe. Please forgive me if I make any implications that are in any way offensive to Londoners; as I said, I have ZERO background or knowledge about the city and will be going with "beginner's eyes." I will have the means to enjoy myself, though nothing too dramatically luxurious is expected. Still...I'd like to really see the pretty parts of the city and enjoy the culture, food, sites, charm of all that London has to offer. Thanks in advance for any and all advice/recommendations! I welcome them all, even little details!

I'm sorry if this is long. But here goes.
A little bit about me: I'm currently talking to a therapist on a weekly basis. My mental health has gone way down the drain. My girlfriend's toxicity hasn't really helped with it, but she realised it and has been actively working on it. I recently quit my job as well, so that added more strain.
One thing led to another, I went on a solo trip to some remote area for almost the entirety of this week. I came back today, Saturday and after traveling for 6+ hrs including 1 hr of extremely bumpy roads, I was tired and wanted to rest. But my dad called and said he was sick and called me over. I was hesitant, but since it's my dad, I decided to go.
I told my gf what happened and she told me she cooked a meal for me, so why don't I pick it up on the way? (Since her house was on the way to my dad's). I said okay and after resting for a couple of hours I left my home and headed to her place. One thing to note was that she was happy and excited up until this point.
I called her when I was nearby and she asked whether I'm gonna spend some time with her. All I said was, "I have to be at my dad's place soon". She got upset and hung the phone. I pulled up and she came to meet me.
As soon as she was close to me, I tried to hug her. Being away for 4 days we missed each other. I tried to hug her but she frowned and moved away. She acted super rude and handed over the food as if I was a stranger and said, "here's the food, taje it and I'll be on my way."
I was heart broken. After 4 days of barely even talking, I was greeted with such rudeness, not even a smile. I told her she didn't have to be so upset, and that she could have at least hugged me or said hi, or just tell me to stay for a while because we haven't seen each other, I'd have happily obliged.
But she was so rude that she wouldn't listen to me. I got mad and rode off as well. She kept calling because I started speeding.
When I picked up, it was the same rudeness with words, "You didn't come to meet me in the first place so why are you acting up?" I broke down into tears, had an anxiety attack on the road. Several SH thoughts flooded my head but I tried to keep calm.
And when I picked up her call mid breakdown, her voice softened and asked me to come back. For some reason, I thought, "I had to cry and breakdown for her to talk to me properly, I don't think I wanna know what is next in future."
I told her it's over and that I'd rather suffer from heartbreak than this. She kept calling over and over, which just worsened my anxiety. After a lot of calling and crying and telling her there's no way in hell I'd change my mind now,
I told her this was the last straw, and how I went on a trip to clear my mind but within 2 hours of my return you managed to f*ck up my thoughts again. "Please let me try to live in peace and don't push me to the edge anymore" was thw last thing I told her.
I don't know if I did the right thing, it's radio silence between us now. But I feel like I'm regretting this. While at times I think no matter what, this has to be for my better mental health.
AITA for expecting kindness when I'm exhausted? Did I deserve such harsh behavior just by prioritizing myself?

So I’m going to Riyadh soon to stay for a little while. I’m from Scandinavia and will be going alone as a young female. I’ve read a lot about this topic and I know it’s an annoying ass question (😂) as Saudi is one of the safest places for women (yes I’m aware it’s a very safe country overall), buuuuut I’m mostly concerned because of some things my local male friends from dubai and oman has said. I mean, I’m blonde with really long hair, tall, green eyes, and will stand out a lot. I been to dubai and got approached a few times but never really felt unsafe, I thought Riyadh wouldn’t be an problem either. But my friends basically said they don’t think it will be as safe as I thought. I will obviously be alone, and I lovee to stay out at late night by myself just taking walks or sitting sipping coffee on a bench or something. I will wear the abaya, or loose clothes at least, but I don’t wear the hijab. I read an article about some foreign girl being followed home and stuff, and something about taxi drivers harassing them and now I’m getting SCARED AS HELL😭 my local friend from dubai mentioned kidnapping (I know it’s unlikely but hear me out) and he said some men there are crazy, I don’t want to sound dumb but I will obviously stand out so i feel like I’m an easy target as a solo foreigner that don’t look arab at all😞 What do y’all think.. should I reconsider?

hey :) in 2 Corinthians 7:5-7 Paul talks about how he was comforted through his misery by his friend Titus which God had sent to him. The Bible also says it is not good for man to be alone. I've had some intense periods of isolation and now I'm ready to let go of the fear, and I'd love any new friends! the good me and the color green have a serious love affair going im such a gamer (literally only play stardew valley on my switch) ive got about 3 months left in a marine biology degree i live in the UK but im from Texas i love filming and editing travel and solo trips are a huge escape for me i write poetry, make music (somewhat poorly) and really enjoy cooking the bad i might be going through a breakup ive distanced myself from my secular friends so very much in need of some new relationships i feel like im entering into a new season of my life, so bare with me if my actions are confusing, im still getting to know the person God created

hey :) in 2 Corinthians 7:5-7 Paul talks about how he was comforted through his misery by his friend Titus which God had sent to him. The Bible also says it is not good for man to be alone. I've had some intense periods of isolation and now I'm ready to let go of the fear, and I'd love any new friends!
the good

• me and the color green have a serious love affair going
• im such a gamer (literally only play stardew valley on my switch)
• ive got about 3 months left in a marine biology degree
• i live in the UK but im from Texas
• i love filming and editing
• travel and solo trips are a huge escape for me
• i write poetry, make music (somewhat poorly) and really enjoy cooking

the bad

• i might be going through a breakup
• ive distanced myself from my secular friends so very much in need of some new relationships
• i feel like im entering into a new season of my life, so bare with me if my actions are confusing, im still getting to know the person God created

I (24M) fell in love with my (25M) best friend. How do you stay platonic with someone you're infatuated with
I (24M) do not have many friends. I was in an accident at the butt end of my senior year that left me both orphaned and unable to walk. This was quite the bummer because I was both a track athlete and a fan of my parents.
My neighborhood was super supportive and a lot of the middle aged folk help me with groceries, home cooked meals, and driving me to appointments. Other than that I've been living on disability.
In an attempt to make human connections with people my age I wound up on fortnite. That's where I met E (25M) who quickly became my best friend.
E introduced me to his own friend group and I became part of the gang. He and I also constantly talk on discord in private voice calls, play duos together all day, and even fall asleep on call together.
It's not just how much time we spend together, but the genuine interest he took in helping me recover from my injury. Not even half a year after meeting, he already started booking flights to take trips to see me and spend the weekend with me irl. When he's here he helps me with my PT and I even began to lean on him for mental hurdles I was going thru.
I told him about how much I missed getting to go camping and how my family use to go to a specific lake in a national park to camp for a week every summer. Him and our friend group surprised me with an actual trip there where he had done extensive research and planning to make it easy for me and my very minimal ability to walk at this point.
We've gone to that lake as a group every summer for the last 4 years. He's changed so much of my life I genuinely can't imagine it without him.
The problem is I've fallen in love with him. I don't know if he even likes guys at all since I've only seen him date women. And I have so much to lose by confessing and making things weird that it's just a complete impossibility for me.
He visited this last week and just left the other day, and on the last night when we were watching a movie on the couch together and chatting and joking around I felt like we were having a moment. I had to stop myself from leaning in for a kiss.
What I need advice on is this. How do you get over such intense feelings for someone who's so active in your life? What can I do to avoid blowing it and losing my best friend and consequently my entire friend group? I don't want to go back to playing fortnite solo.
Tldr;
I'm in love with my best friend but I have to much to lose by confessing. How do I continue a platonic relationship?

This might be long, sorry.
I (F30) have been brought into a polycule, my first one, and I have some bad gut feelings about this. I want to make it clear, it is not because of the polyamory and multiple partners, it just feels like the dynamics and boundaries are off. However, I could be wrapped up in my own head so I'd like some outside perspective.
A quick outline of the people involved:
My partner "Mat" (M33) and I have been seeing each other for about a month now and are looking to actually start dating. Mat stated he would like me to be his primary which is what I would like as well.
Mat's other partner "Stacy" (F39) is married to her NP and primary "Nate" (M39). They have a child together.
Okay with that out of the way, I'm just going to make a list of things I found odd and are specifically weighing on me. These aren't numbered in any specific way.
1.Mat and I have not actually gone on a solo date yet. Everytime we go out or I make plans Stacy comes along. I do not mind having her come out with us occasionally, but I'd like to build Mat and my relationship too outside her.

1. Stacy is a little too invested in Mat and my sexual life. The second time I met her she was flirting with me and trying to goat us into having sex in her presence. I'm bi so I'm not inherently grossed out by her hitting on me, but it was a bit intense for the second time I met her. I did make it clear to Mat that I'm only looking to date him at the moment, not the both of them. Also I swear I've heard Mat's phone hang up after we have sex sometimes. I have some hearing issues so that could 100% be on me, but it's a bit unnerving to think Stacy might be listening to us do the deed without my consent.
   
2. I have in turn now know way more about Mat and Stacy's sex life despite not asking or being interested. Mat will just tell me Stacy's kinks and how he gets her off. Again, I don't care that they are having sex, I just don't need to know about her like that.
   
3. How their polycule began. When Stacy and Nate were still dating Stacy cheated on Nate with Mat and polybomed Nate. Nate begrudgingly agreed to opening the relationship, and although things seem to be healthier now, I don't think that was a kind thing to do to him.
   
4. Mat will constantly talk about exes and how they always leave him for "the other guy". He also frequently bring up how hurt he is/was Stacy chose to marry Nate and not Mat. Like she's the one who got away even though they are literally dating.
   
5. Stacy doesn't seem invested in her own marriage and child sometimes. She spends all her days off work at Mat's house and has missed her child's birthday to go on dates with Mat.
   
6. Mat talks poorly about Nate quite a bit. Calling Nate a loser and whatnot.
   

I know I've listed some heavy and negative things here, but maybe I'm just over thinking this all. This could all just be Stacy being awkward because Mat has a new partner. Stacy and I do get along and enjoy each other's company, she can just be intense and her personal boundaries are more lax than mine. I'm also really bad about sticking up for myself. That is in no way any of their's problem, but it doesn't help these negative feelings I'm having.
Mat and I also just have a lot in common and click very easily. He's very kind towards me and has been receptive when I've brought up my discomforts.
I want to be excited about this new chapter in my life but at the moment I'm just feeling a bit uneasy and confused. Any advice or insight would be lovely, thank you.
Edit 1: For better layout and clearer names.
Edit 2: Hey guys, to not sound like a robot, I'm just going to put a little blurb here to address most of the comments I've been getting.
I really do appreciate the blunt feedback, I think it's what I needed to read/hear. I need to leave this relationship while I still have wits about me.
Before I leave I am going to give it one more college try for two reasons: 1 before I go I want, for my sanity, to say I tried; 2 I genuinely want to give Mat some food for thought about how polyamory and his partners should be treated. And if he actually makes those changes good for me, if not, oh well.
If there's anything I gave to Mat in this whole mess I hope it's perspective on how to better himself and that if wants someone he's going to have to make some new boundaries with Stacy. And maybe how he should be treated in a relationship bc I didn't even get into their dynamic and how cold and cynical it can be.
I think we're both just desperate for love, but I'm not that desperate.
I hope next time I'm here it's to celebrate a happy loving polycule!
Thank you guys again for helping me uncloud my vision. I'll try to keep replying to messages that this little edit didn't address.

Just looking for a space to unpack some thoughts about my changing living arrangements-- Sorta a long read, sorry, but I would appreciate any thoughts/advice from this community!! [[especially from people who are aro/ace, relationship anarchists, solo poly, or neurodivergent! 🙏🩷]]
I have lived with a roommate for several years (across a few places), a friend of mine that I'm very comfortable with. We've had some conflicts and we're sorta more roommates than friends now, but we've always navigated things well and have felt comfortable speaking our minds respectfully. She is moving out in a few months! Thankfully I will not have to leave this apartment I love so much, as another friend who's currently in a one-bed has agreed to move in and split rent.
I am a bit nervous about the change as I am very protective of my time and space, and the household dynamic will obviously change. Right now I feel a lot of comfort in the fact that there is no expectation to check in our hang out (though we do chat), and we have always done food separately, divided the chores pretty evenly, and take turns with the common spaces more often than we share them.
This friend that is moving in hasn't lived with others before apart from family. When we do hang out I will go to theirs, play video games and stuff, they often cook as it is a passion for them, I like to do the dishes. I sleep on their couch, though a couple of times I have slept in their bed and we've cuddled.. I used to think I might feel romantic attraction, but realized that it's platonic/affectionate. I'm on the asexual spectrum, and realizing I think I'm likely on the aromantic spectrum as well. They've shared that they have romantic feelings for me, but don't expect anything from me, and knowing that doesn't make me uncomfortable. I know they do really desire a romantic partner to share their life with, and their love feels of the devoted kind (whereas mine I would describe as more practical and protective).
I enjoy spending time with them but do sometimes feel the tension in our difference of avoidant/anxious attachment or somewhat of a pursuedistancer dynamic (myself as the avoidant/distancer-- I am highly independent and most comfortable taking care of myself, and feel anxious when I feel like someone is expecting things from me or they want to be dependent on me). I've made it clear that I don't want to be slotted into this position they're seeking to fill in their life and that I have a need to be left alone the majority of the time to feel comfortable in my home. They've seemed slightly hurt when I've shared some of these things before, but emphasized that they want to know my boundaries so they can respect them, and that they know there will be an adjustment having never lived with non-family before (and that family situation being described as pretty toxic, though they're uncomfortable talking much about them). Last night we talked a little about the differences in social expectations in our households growing up, mine being extremely low-contact and theirs high-contact in a controlling way.
In some ways I think this arrangement will be beneficial to both of our growth/healing journeys: They tend to do sometimes too much for others and struggle to be taken care of, I struggle to be comfortable with both giving and receiving care in most forms. I think this will give us each a chance to get more used to genuine interdependence, even if that involves a bit of discomfort sometimes. I feel confident that I will be able to communicate my boundaries, verbally check in with them, and make adjustments as we need. I've also got a cat, a very shy boy, and I think this addition presence will ease things-- my friend is a big cat person, and I think they'll get along great.
One thing I'm worried about is the potential of me starting to see someone else romantically/wanting to bring them into my home, and that causing hurt for my roommate/friend. Emphasis on "potential," because I haven't really seen anyone in years, apart from my long distance partner which has settled into something platonic. I do have a couple crushes but am honestly unsure if I am only capable of romantic feelings when there is quite a bit of distance present. I am very happy to support them dating others and having them over if they'd like.
.......... OK THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY! I think it was helpful even just typing out, but if anything resonated with anyone, if you've got any thoughts or advice or anything at all please share it! 😊 I'm so happy to have found this community, so I can learn more about loving in a way that is authentic to me, rather than feeling guilty about not being able to participate in connections as Expected. Both my friend and I are neurodivergent as well fyi (I am autistic), that is probably relevant

Just looking for a space to unpack some thoughts about my changing living arrangements-- Sorta a long read, sorry, but I would appreciate any thoughts/advice from this community!! [[especially from aro/ace, solo poly, & neurodivergent people 🙏🩷]]
I have lived with a roommate for several years (across a few places), a friend of mine that I'm very comfortable with. We've had some conflicts and we're sorta more roommates than friends now, but we've always navigated things well and have felt comfortable speaking our minds respectfully. She is moving out in a few months! Thankfully I will not have to leave this apartment I love so much, as another friend who's currently in a one-bed has agreed to move in and split rent.
I am a bit nervous about the change as I am very protective of my time and space, and the household dynamic will obviously change. Right now I feel a lot of comfort in the fact that there is no expectation to check in our hang out (though we do chat), and we have always done food separately, divided the chores pretty evenly, and take turns with the common spaces more often than we share them.
This friend that is moving in hasn't lived with others before apart from family. When we do hang out I will go to theirs, play video games and stuff, they often cook as it is a passion for them, I like to do the dishes. I sleep on their couch, though a couple of times I have slept in their bed and we've cuddled.. I used to think I might feel romantic attraction, but realized that it's platonic/affectionate. I'm on the asexual spectrum, and realizing I think I'm likely on the aromantic spectrum as well. They've shared that they have romantic feelings for me, but don't expect anything from me, and knowing that doesn't make me uncomfortable. I know they do really desire a romantic partner to share their life with, and their love feels of the devoted kind (whereas mine I would describe as more practical and protective).
I enjoy spending time with them but do sometimes feel the tension in our difference of avoidant/anxious attachment or somewhat of a pursuedistancer dynamic (myself as the avoidant/distancer-- I am highly independent and most comfortable taking care of myself, and feel anxious when I feel like someone is expecting things from me or they want to be dependent on me). I've made it clear that I don't want to be slotted into this position they're seeking to fill in their life and that I have a need to be left alone the majority of the time to feel comfortable in my home. They've seemed slightly hurt when I've shared some of these things before, but emphasized that they want to know my boundaries so they can respect them, and that they know there will be an adjustment having never lived with non-family before (and that family situation being described as pretty toxic, though they're uncomfortable talking much about them). Last night we talked a little about the differences in social expectations in our households growing up, mine being extremely low-contact and theirs high-contact in a controlling way.
In some ways I think this arrangement will be beneficial to both of our growth/healing journeys: They tend to do sometimes too much for others and struggle to be taken care of, I struggle to be comfortable with both giving and receiving care in most forms. I think this will give us each a chance to get more used to genuine interdependence, even if that involves a bit of discomfort sometimes. I feel confident that I will be able to communicate my boundaries, verbally check in with them, and make adjustments as we need. I've also got a cat, a very shy boy, and I think this addition presence will ease things-- my friend is a big cat person, and I think they'll get along great.
One thing I'm worried about is the potential of me starting to see someone else romantically/wanting to bring them into my home, and that causing hurt for my roommate/friend. Emphasis on "potential," because I haven't really seen anyone in years, apart from my long distance partner which has settled into something platonic. I do have a couple crushes but am honestly unsure if I am only capable of romantic feelings when there is quite a bit of distance present. I am very happy to support them dating others and having them over if they'd like.
.......... OK THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY! I think it was helpful even just typing out, but if anything resonated with anyone, if you've got any thoughts or advice or anything at all please share it! 😊 I'm so happy to have found this community, so I can learn more about loving in a way that is authentic to me, rather than feeling guilty about not being able to participate in connections as Expected. Both my friend and I are neurodivergent as well fyi (I am autistic), that is probably relevant

My husband and I have never been to Nashville. I understand Broadway isn’t a family-friendly scene, especially past 5pm, so we will make dinner plans elsewhere. My husband and I were considering each going downtown solo one night just to listen to the live music and have a beer or two. It would likely be Tuesday-Thursday night. Does anyone have any thoughts about this? We are mid-thirties and don’t mind seeing some rowdiness (I think it could be entertaining). I’m mostly concerned about myself - I haven’t gone to a bar alone in a while and although I’m not in my 20s anymore and therefore won’t draw too much attention, I would love to not be creeped on.
Also - recommendations for a chill vibe with folksy or rock music on a weeknight where we wouldn’t feel too weird going by ourselves?

Starting a few months ago, I took a hard look at myself and my behaviors and began to really put renewed effort into making some improvements in myself, for my wife and our marriage. We are 45m and 44f, married 20+ years, 3 kids together. One of the things I have been really working on is what I say (and don’t say) to her in person and over text messages. But now that I have been doing this for several months, I am starting to question if this is a loving thing I’m doing, or if I’m just not being my real self in order to manipulate what she thinks of me and how she feels about me. I can tell you that my intent is to show her I can make improvements in myself, to have her love me and be happy with me and respect me even more than she currently does. There’s not really a deficiency in those feelings from her. I just want to make us even stronger and better together, and I think it starts with me and my actions
I like to think I am still being me, but just a better version of me. A version she can love even more and be proud of even more. But sometimes I have doubts that I’m being too purposeful — that’s I’m manipulating too much. I listed a few examples below. I am probably just overthinking my new approach, but anyway, I just wanted to share I guess. If anyone has any insight or advice here, please let me know. Thank you for reading this post.
— Recently I’m driving solo to my doctor’s appt and my mind is wandering and I totally miss my exit on the turnpike. And it is kind of a rural area so next exit is like 5 miles further. I was going to be like 5 or 10 minutes early, but now I’m going to be late. So I’m pretty mad at myself. [OLD ME: I would’ve arrived to the doctor and then texted her and shared with her that I missed the exit and how I was mad at myself and how it was very frustrating that I keep doing this dumb stuff]. [WHAT I DID: I didn’t mention it at all to her. I figured what was the point of bringing my negativity and anger to her and basically looking for her to comfort me? And why let her know I made another silly mistake? Nothing for me or her to gain with those actions from me].
— We have a small dog that she loves and this dog really loves her. I love him too, but my wife is enamored with him. He gets 1 or 2 walks a day around our neighborhood. Usually it’s me that does the walks. [OLD ME: I would always tell her (or announce to the house where she would hear too) that I was taking him on a walk, I guess so people knew where I was and so I could kind of get “points” and recognition in my wife’s eyes for taking care of his walks]. [WHAT I DO NOW: When I realize it’s time to walk him or when he just has extra energy and needs one, I just grab his leash and take him, I basically don’t say anything. If my wife happens to notice, I just smile or say “Be back soon” and I take care of it. I figure if anyone needs to know where I am they can look me up on my Apple Watch family sharing. And my wife knows I walk him several times a day, so me announcing it is kinda more data she doesn’t need and kind of me looking for appreciation for a task that just needs done, and that I know she already appreciates me doing].
— I rarely text her anymore about my feelings or emotions on stuff, or when trying to be extra lovely or sexy about stuff. With some advice from others, I kind of figured out that my efforts weren’t translating well over text to her — that the stuff I was sharing and sending wasn’t having the desired effect. So now I still share most of that stuff with her, but I wait til I get home so she can see and understand in person (and see my true emotions, body language, etc) for what I wanted to share with her, and for her to get the full range and details of the story. And for the lovey & sexy stuff — I just concluded that she definitely knows I love her and am attracted to her and think she’s crazy sexy —- since she wasn’t really interacting with my text message attempts to tell her this, I save that stuff too for later and I tell her and show her how I feel when I get home and see her in person.
— I wore the wrong shoes to work on a project at my mom’s house — Crocs instead of closed-toe shoes — which made the job marginally more unsafe. [OLD ME: I would’ve told her when I got home how to had the wrong shoes and how I’m glad nothing happened and some of the things that could’ve happened because of my mistake]. [WHAT I DID: I didn’t mention it to her at al. I was fine, nothing happened. And now it’s definitely in my mind to pick the correct shoes next time. What good is it to tell her that stuff and maybe worry her of what could’ve happened? Or to let her know I was forgetful again and because of that put myself in a small amount of danger?].

Heck, I realised that I'm destined to not have many friends and I always think that there's something wrong with me towards socialising, I fucked up soo much friendships...
So rather than focusing on others I feel like I should focus more on myself... I have a feeling that if I do this I'll be much more happy than I am now, but truth is that I lost interest with most of my hobbies years ago and I'm trying to develop new ones, here's the list below -
1) I'm always fascinated with solo travelling but I've never done that before, I like to explore nature but I'm a young women which means I also need to consider safety and stuff like that, and it's gonna be expensive 2) Gonna try learn scuba diving in the summer, interested with it but I'm a international student I don't think it's quite possible to pursue this hobby that much 3) Try to get back into the old hobbies that isn't costly like the ones mentioned previously - e.g. drawing + photography? U can say I draw decently but I just can't find the motivation to do it anymore 4) Boardgames. I found out that there's few boardgame clubs/cafes around my area and I quite wanna try it, but have no idea how to start since I'm gonna need people to play with me lol, but I think I'm gonna join a boardgame society in my uni nxt year to test the waters
Current hobby I have is watching loads of movies and series - sometimes I go to the cinema alone, and have a nice meal after that. It's actually quite a nice experience as you don't need to care about what others think.
What do yall think? Which ones should I pursue?

Tl,dr: you're not missing anything
It's Saturday night, and my best friend is out of town. I was bored. Usually I'm a home body, but I decided to get out of the house by myself. Took out the car, stopped by at an NBC to take a beverage along. I'm more of a panwadi-wali-cold coffee type of guy but felt like treating myself for no reason. Went through the menu, Googled what a couple of things exactly meant, still fantasizing about my favourite roadside cold coffee but realising it would probably close by the time I reach. I ended up asking for the thing closest to a generic cold coffee. Ordered it, sat down. It was prepared sooner than I thought. Took a sip, was surprisingly not dissatisfied with it, bai nu keha thanks and left.
Got back in the car, and went out to the arterial roads. I went through GK, Anand Lok and finally Hauz Khas. Now, I have driven by myself at night before and I enjoy it, but sometimes I'm able to extract so much joy out of such a simple thing. At nights, the roads seem roomier, the heat doesn't feel like it's sucking all the water out of you, and generally feeling grateful for a moment of peace amidst all the other uncertainties of life. The time seems to slow down a little, in sync with the speed of the vehicle. Driving slow, appreciating the city in it's dormant glory, listening to Roop Ghuman, Raf Saperra, Hrjxt, Aujla and the like. Another thing I enjoy about solo gedi'an is the fact that there's no-one to criticise or scoff at my slightly unconventional choice of music, which sadly happens so often. (I'm like it's not my fault that your taste is so bad lol.)
Sister called, to ask why I'm taking so long. I didn't realise I had been out a bit longer than expected. Told her I'll be back soon, cut the call, but didn't feel like returning yet, so I turned towards the main Hauz Khas village, not with the intention to go anywhere, just to kill some more time and see what the crowd was like.
The coffee was now getting over, and so was my appetite for being out. I got out of Hauz Khas and onto the Outer Ring Road. The traffic seemed to have swelled up and brought me back to the realities of the city. Ended the gedi, parked the car. I just realised this might be what journaling is. Not bad. Do you guys go for a solo gedi like this too? Maybe you feel it's not safe or not fun alone? Anyways, thanks for reading and good night!