Hello everyone. 1st off, I would like to thank everyone for their kind words. I have had a very stressful week and while I did not feel up to replying to anyone's posts, I want you all to know that I read them and your words helps me through the week. This has been a devastating event for me and each and every one of you that commented or reached out through chat brightened my day just a tiny bit. With that said, here is the most recent update.
Last Friday night, after my buddies got to the hotel, I explained what I had heard on the phone call. All 3 of them were stunned to say the least. They asked if I had saw any signs of this, and TBH, I really hadn't. I said I didn't know what I was going to do. I informed my one buddy that the proposal was off, and given the circumstances, he completely understood. One thing I had my buddies do when they left their houses is turn off tracking, incase their significant others were checking and getting back to Rachel. I know Rachel isn't close with one of the wives, but at this point, I didn't want to take any chances.
That night, we spent the night at the hotel bar and I tail spun pretty hard. Shot after shot after shot. It wasn't pretty. My buddies were getting calls all night from the SO's asking where they were, and to their credit, they stood their ground and backed me up, just saying that we were safe and not to worry. One asked to speak with me after assuming that where they were, but I didn't want to talk to her. She kept saying Rachel is worried and just wants me to come home. I just told my buddy to deal with it and I'll fill them in another time. I spent most of the night hitting on the bartender (which I'm not proud of), and a couple of girls who were traveling for work. The next day, I thanked them all for spending time with me and they took of back home.
This week, I had one of my buddies scope out the house we were renting as it was on his way to work and he gets to work after Rachel and I would have already left for the day. Rachel had taken Monday and Tuesday off, but went back to work on Wednesday. As soon as he informed of this, I went to the house and started packing as much stuff as I could. The house was a mess. Dishes in the sink, clothes laying everywhere, trash was full of takeout and ordered food. It took me about 3 1/2 hours to get all my crap out. Before I left, I cleaned up for Rachel as a final gesture. That afternoon and evening, I got flooded by Rachel with calls and texts after she realized that I had came home and gotten all of my things. So, for now, I'm now staying at my mother's house until I can find a a place of my own this fall. I spoke with the landlord, and without Rachel's signature, he won't remove me from the lease, meaning I will have to cover my half of it until October. My mom has said I can stay with her until then, at which point I will try to find a new place. I know, a 38 year old moving back in with his mother. How amazing life has treated me.
I finally contacted Rachel on Thursday, and told her we could meet up at a local bar and grill downtown Friday evening. I told her one of my buddies would be attending to make sure everything was on the up and up. She complained for a few minutes, saying she wanted me to come home and talk with her so we could move past this, but I told her if she wanted to see me, this was how it was going to be. Eventually, she agreed.
So Friday night, Rachel shows up after my buddy and I had been there for about an hour. I had already ate and took a couple shots of Ciroc to calm me. We sat down and she wanted to make small talk, asking about me and blah blah blah. I cut that garbage off. I told her I had a list of questions. Immediately, he eyes welled up. I asked her how long has this been going on? She swore this was the 1st and only time. I told her to cut off the shit. I said there was no change we were ever getting back together, so just tell me the truth, so I can have my closure, and move on with my life. She stuck to her guns for a few minutes, but then (as most of your predicted), she came clean. Every time I went on those trips for the past 2 years, she thought I was going to "cheat" on her, so she was having her fun too. This set me off. I told her she was using this as a f'n excuse just to sleep around. I then asked who she was talking on the phone with, but she refused to give me an answer for this. I asked if they used condoms, and she said sometimes. I said she's lucky I got an STD test, cause I'm clean, so she doesn't have to worry about getting one, unless her most recent "horse" didn't use one. Finally, before I left, I told her about my plans. July 4th proposal, I showed her the ring, and told her that I was gonna propose at our friends party, because that was where they introduced us. It was around here that she just started crying. She begged for another chance. I told her that I will always love her, but we are over.
So yeah, she's been messaging me all day, but I'm going to block her here soon. So I'm just sitting here eating some B Dubs and drinking beer while watching the fights. Hopefully, Poirier wins, but I'm doubting it. Ahhh my life is a train wreck. Anyway, thanks guys for listening. I don't know if I'll update again, as I doubt I will ever talk to that see u next Tuesday again.

Hey. Young professional, sorted and sane, based in Mission Bay and CBD. Looking for good guys for good fun. I am vers, so can top or bottom, be submissive or dominant. Not into time wasting or trading, so please only reach out if you are serious about meeting off here. I don’t often host at first meet so we’d have to meet somewhere like a hotel, sauna, your car, park or similar. I am clean, hygienic and STD free with regular tests and proof and expect the same. I am a beachub type (sorry smooth twink lovers!), open to most things and with most guys, have experience but not fussed if you don’t. Like to sometimes treat/spoil or do rwrdplay, so try your luck. Jerk, anal, oral, kink or vanilla, all is OK with me. I have met many guys who aren’t necessarily gay so if you’re curious or wanting to experiment, reach out. Only seeking non-strings attached, casual fun, nothing serious! Only chat and meet guys with photos including recent face pic. Open to filming with guys who are into this as well. Photos and info on my profile, Insta on my bio. Please do not contact me if you are only after pics, time wasting chat and cannot meet. Not into trans/couples/sissies, sorry. Flick me a DM if curious to meet. I do have some mates who may be open to threesome/group with the right guy, at the right time. Curious lads: happy to jerk/blow you and go.

Never in a million years did I (28) imagine I would be in this predicament. I’ve been with my husband (29) for a decade, married for four years. I’m trying to make sense of things but I genuinely can’t understand what drove him to cheat. We went through a miscarriage November 2023 and I got pregnant again on April 2024. He knew I was pregnant before he left for a work trip, he was only going to be gone for two weeks. I always trusted him because he never gave me a reason not to. He always reminds me of how beautiful I am a day won’t go by that he won’t give me a compliment. He is very affectionate and he overall treats me like a Queen. When he got back from Chicago I went through his phone and found out he had payed for a bumble subscription and burner app subscription. He also went to the strip club with his co workers on his last day there because he claims his co workers were his ride. He withdrew $200 and I even asked him on that day why did you withdraw that much money. He could’ve admitted to it but he made up a lie. What’s strange about that is that we went to a strip club a month before that me and my sister in law let both of our man get a lap dance & me and my husband even got a lap dance together. I’m a really chill wife but I did tell him I’m not okay with his going to the strip club without me so why go behind my back when we can go together? He said he was texting only one girl and supposedly talking to three girls on bumble and that he never met up with them. He simply wanted the attention and said it has been a decade since he talked to someone new so he wanted to feel that feeling when you talk to a new person. He claims he had no intentions on ever meeting up with them or have a physical affair. This is really hard for me to believe because the reason why he got caught up in the first place is because of Reddit. I went on his search history and he was searching up “Hookups in Illinois” “swingers in Illinois” and “singles in Illinois”. He said he was just curious to see what was on there but he swears he never had intentions to have sex with someone else because he’s terrified of catching an STD and he says that overall the miscarriage really fucked him up mentally.
He is aware that he fucked up and seems genuinely sorry he knows there was no good excuse for him to cheat. However he says he felt a lack of emotional connection with me & our sex life hasn’t been great. He has communicated with me in the past but just like he has his complaints I do too. I’ve communicated with him and explained why I don’t feel turned on and I’ve dealt with so much shit. He has a drinking problem and when he drinks he becomes aggressive (he has never laid his hands on me). Throughout the years I learned that he has childhood trauma and that’s why I try to be patient with him. I’ve told him he needs to work on himself and just like I wouldn’t listen to him he wouldn’t listen to me and there would never be any changes between us. I explained to him just because I too sometimes feel neglected because ever since we got married he doesn’t really take me out on dates. That doesn’t mean I’m gonna go cheat on him, I never felt the need to cheat. Despite that overall I don’t think our marriage was that bad for him to feel the need to cheat. He himself would even brag about our marriage all the time and say he’s so glad we’re not toxic like other people. We don’t argue often and we get a long very well. I’m devastated and heartbroken because I explained to him that I’m the only person in his life that is truly there for him and never left his side when things got tough. He doesn’t have a good relationship with his family his parents treat him bad. He only talks to his brother but even his brother is never really there for him. He only reaches out when he wants to drink with him. When we went through a miscarriage instead of being there for him he got drunk and took his car for a joyride… he attempted to commit suicide the day we came back from the hospital when I miscarried I truly believe he’s only alive because of me he even said it himself so why cheat on the woman that is the reason on why you haven’t ended your life?? I also want to add I can’t believe he payed to cheat you can literally download bumble for free…. When I googled his searces he looked up “how to delete bank transactions” so now it’s also financial infidelity. He was trying to hide the bumble and burner app transactions. There’s times when he has to take money from our savings to help pay the bills. We’re trying to save up for a house and it’s so frustrating that he would use our hard working money on bumble,burner & strip club. I also want to add before I found out about the cheating and when he got back from his work trip our sex life improved drastically! I was trying my best to improve our sex life because I looked at his google history and noticed he was watching porn everyday. I was concerned he had a a porn addiction, we were having sex 3-4 times a day and after that he actually stopped watching porn. I was trying my best to spice things up. Things were going great for us until I found about the cheating and I try to still have sex with him but I can’t even enjoy it because I have the cheating in the back of my mind. I think it would have been way better had he came clean and admitted to his mistakes rather than me having to find out on my own. He says he truly regrets it and claims he learned from his mistake and started therapy. He is willing to do whatever it takes to make this marriage work.
I’m not sure where to go from here, I’m trying to look past this but it’s very difficult for me to move forward. I’m so heartbroken and I’m trying my best not to stress out for the baby but it’s been so hard for me. There’s days when I can barely eat because of how depressed I am. The only reason why I’m trying to make things work is because he claims he didn’t have sex with anyone and because we’re expecting a baby. Have any of y’all been heartbroken, how did you heal from it and if you got cheated on did you stay and try to make the marriage work? If so do you have any advice on how to survive infidelity?

Full Comments

No. I would not have sex with a man who raped trafficked women 🤮 (8 child comments)

Many women willingly choose sex work

And many don’t. How is the John to know? He doesn’t. So in his mind he should understand that he could be raping every “sex worker” he “hires.”

What an unhinged take.

Yeah, how crazy to not want to rape people. Wacky.

Assuming that all sex workers are unwilling and being trafficked IS unhinged behavior. Exponentially more people are trafficked for non-sex labor than sex work, but I never hear a peep about it from the sex work pearl clutchers.

This post wasn’t about trafficked people who are doing other types of forced labor. So, why on earth would I talk about that? I also didn’t mention oranges or eyelashes…because the post wasn’t about that. Want to talk about football…for no reason?

Because there are FAR more women being trafficked for domestic and sweatshop labor than for sex?

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Never. If the woman needs payment then she doesn't really want it. A man willing to fuck someone who doesn't enthusiastically desire them is not a good person. If you can't find someone who wants you just go without... (50 child comments)

This is wildly untrue, and a gross outlook. The fact that most the comments have support for sex workers, while demonizing people who pay for sex is just wild to me.

Consent is only legitimate if there is NO external pressure, not social, not physical nor economic. Consent requires enthusiastic desire, payment is used to make up for a lack of desire. It's funny to me that people understand UN workers demanding sex for aid or cops demanding sex in exchange for nor charging someone is unequivocally rape but if you put "cash" in for the word "aid" it's suddenly fine? You cant BUY access to an equal, and you don't need to buy access to someone who actually wants you. Sex is not a right, if you can't make someone desire you and trust you enough to want to fuck you then just...don't have sex. I have been celibate for years long stretches and I was perfectly happy (even though my libido is crazy high).

This is ignorant and immature. Consent does not require enthusiastic desire... love doesn't even require that. The reasons two people have sex can vary drastically, sometimes it's boredom, or to bear children, not simply desire.

Boredom is still motivated by a desire for sex and that person. Sex where the woman submits to please the other person or for procreation is a carryover of patriarchy and perpetuates unethical attitudes about sex. Women (and all people) should only have sex they want enthusiastically, even if their intent is to make a baby or just entertain themselves...

Wow, your detached. Your telling women how to have sex... and that not being enthusiastic about it means their wrong? Sex while bored has doesn't require enthusiasm, it's just something to do, sometimes it's just to go through the motions to be busy. Doesn't mean consent wasn't given. I have literally been the target of bored sex on many occasions and I didn't initiate. Just consenting doesn't equate enthusiasm in any way. He'll, I've had reluctant sex, I just didn't have a reason not to. I still consented, and had zero enthusiasm.

Your veiw is very patriarchal. I'm saying no one NO ONE should have sex they dont want. Being dissociated from the pleasure of the act is how we end up with women getting raped. Consent must be Freely given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic and Specific. Just submitting isn't actually consent.

That's even worse, your still dictating what others should be doing based on your ideology. Your judging everyone that is other. Not even for doing actual horrible things, like coerce or rape. It's so gross that you can't see this... You can consent and dissassociate, see trophy wives. And don't seriously sit there and tell me there arent women who WANT that relationship, but don't even love them. It's for their money. And women can totally want that independent of the influence of the patriarchy. I'm not even judging!!! Im not saying its healthy, but its not wrong. Run your race! Love your way. I dont know why you think it's so WRONG of people to not be enthusiastic about sex, and how that has fuck all to do with giving consent. It's a gross unfair judgment.

It's not an ideology to want women not to have sex they dont want. That's all. If women (or men) decide to get into relationships for money and security I may find it distasteful but it's not unethical as long as everyone is honest. But rape culture needs to die, we need to destroy it, we can't do that if men still find sex with ambivalent women acceptable

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Absolutely not ..Men like that are RUINED and have a totally different concept of women love and and Sex. (That is if you're expecting to be in love. ..) a Fling ? Well I would check for germs first. .Arrive with Lab tests 😏😁 (24 child comments)

This is gross. More providers require safe sex practices than people just hooking up. Sex workers aren't dirty and diseased. 😑

There's no such thing as truely safe sex for women. Crabs and Herpes can be contracted even with condom use. I myself have religiously used condoms and still got HPV, all it takes is one broken condom and HPV can be dormant and undetectable for years. I have been tested yearly since I was 16 and was vaccinated and still had to have a colposcopy and LEEP procedure, men aren't even trsted for HPV... Also, any sex practice where fluids are exchanged or go onto a womans body is inherently unsafe, standard practice for bodily fluids is gloves, gown, mask and goggles, and most places can't even fully enforce condoms because of male demands and financial incentives to engage in unsafe practices (because of male demand)

Don't disagree. But that's a "someone had sex" thing not a "someone paid for sex" thing. Now if this were a "would you guys date a non-virgin guy?" thread, I'd have said the same as you

Yeah. All sex is a risk so my point is why assume risk for someone you don't even desire? Like you might as well only have sex you really want, that's worth the risk with a trusted person who has been tested and cares about your consent

True. And sometimes that's a client. But also I spent time getting physio and had to take the whole day off from my day job. Because despite my very ergonomic setup and attentiveness to stretching, my desk job has now come with it's own painful injury. From sitting. Like sex, work is not perfectly "safe" and harms the body. We all go to work and we do it to get paid. Sometimes that work is sex. Like any other job. And personally, I've never yet had to go to the physio for sex work injuries. Bills and capitalism is injurious, not sex work.

Sex isn't like other forms of activity. Carpal tunnel isn't equivalent to rape. Non consentual work is awful, non consentual sex is rape...they aren't the same, at all. And a crick in your back isn't really the same as a torn asshole or a stroke from being "consentually" choked out in sex. Women in prostitution have more PSTD than soldiers in war zones, that's not exactly like an office job. .

Personally, no. (70 child comments)

Yeah, absolutely wouldn't date someone who thought of women as objects to satisfy his sexual urges. No man who respects women would ever do that.

So do you not support legal sex work? For example Germany has a very well regulated industry, and even some places such as Thailand have places where STD testing, fair wages, and non-slave-worker are the standard. Part of supporting women in this business is acknowledging that some men/women will be partaking in this.

The vast majority of German sex workers are either doing it for drugs or because they were brought in from other countries and are being forced into it. Just because it's legal and regulated doesn't mean it's good.

Sources? I can smell the BS a mile away.

https://www.destatis.de/EN/Press/2022/07/PE22_277_228.html Just look at this. Plus it is a well known fact that most prostitutes are not doing it out of the sheer joy for it

This has nothing to do with anyone on drugs just the number of legally registered sex workers in a country.

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As a woman who was in the sex industry on and off for two years, hell motherfucking no. (90 child comments)

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Surely you can appreciate the irony of this

You can’t buy consent. The sex worker doesn’t want to sleep with you. She is forced to have sex against her will or she can’t pay rent, eat, live, etc. All sex without consent is rape. You are basically saying “you were raped and don’t want to date a rapist? How ironic”. Like get a grip on reality

Wouldn't that depend a little on the context? For example in countries with plenty of employment opportunities and a developed welfare state there becomes a point where its more of a choice than coerced. Otherwise wouldn't all jobs be inherently slavery?

No girl ever would want to be touched by a guy she doesn't want to be with. The ppl who fall in that line of work are usually those who need money or dealing with trauma/abuse/manipulation. And I can only imagine the mental, emotional and physical anguish of having someone use your body repeatedly. It's disgusting how some guys see throwing a couple of 20s their way justifies the treatment they get.

I'm in the aerial dance community, which includes pole and thus a lot of sex workers as instructors/classmates. I feel being around sex workers casually has opened my mind a lot, so I appreciate seeing this reply as I wasn't sure of my opinion. I guess it's a good reminder that sex workers are mostly wonderful people (every group has exceptions), but this is more about the people who seek sex-work out.

I will always support sex workers and advocate for their rights. They are amongst the society’s most vulnerable. The people paying for sex however? Despicable people who can rot in hell.

Making a group's customer base into criminals/outcasts is discriminating against that group.

It really isn’t? Like if I refuse to buy things made by child labor that doesn’t mean I’m discriminating against children. And I can absolutely advocate for the rights of children exposed to child labor and villainize the people using child labor at the same time.

It means you're discriminating against children who work to survive. And taking away their ability to survive. You might think starving children is an acceptable price to pay to remove child labor from the world though.

Are you actually on crack?[...]Like do you actually think contributing to the exploitation of a vulnerable group helps liberating them?

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For me it would depend on context. I would have a very different view of, say, passport bro sex tourism, vs someone who was going to a specific fetish provider like a dominatrix or something similar. (82 child comments)

To each their own but both of those scenarios are horrifying to me, the first indicates a very objectified idea of women's bodies, the second indicates a relationship with intimacy, sex (and likely porn) that is opposite to my worldview (paraphillias are almost never singular and men who engage in them are often porn users, both absolute deal breakers for me as a radical feminist). But far be it from me to shame a woman willing to take that on, a lot of women don't believe in female pleasure focused sex or believe in transactional sex, so they would have no issues with any of it.

There are plenty of women who happily and healthily engage in a wide range of safe consensual kink, both with men and with other women. Your use of the word paraphilia is a little peculiar. You seem to be equating participating in consensual kink with a psychological disorder. I hope you are aware that they are not the same thing.

Mfing 60s backwards ass mindset. Next she's gonna ironically call anyone with a kink a degenerate or deviant, and not in the funny meme way.

Way to invalidate a perspective different from yours

Cuz it's backwards ass bullshit. Sorry not sorry.

It just seems off to pretend kink culture isn't built on a misogyny foundation

"There are ethical ways to pay for sex" Um, how? Do you think it's ethical if the woman is dong to because she has to provide for her family? or make rent? or has a drug addiction issues they need to support. The amount of women who do this work "for fun" is MINISCULE. There's always a reason - money. How is that ethical? The only reason she's sleeping with men is because she needs to to survive. that's not a choice.

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No. I think having payed sex shows a mindset about sex and women's bodies that I'm not compatible with. (29 child comments)

Do you think the same applies to men who don’t want to date sex workers?

No, on the condition that the worker keeps their personal and professional lifes apart.
Men buy sex for pleasure. Women sell sex for money. They are not symmetrical.
You can be a bartender at a pub who doesn't enjoy alchohol. But the costumers who pay for drinks do enjoy them.
Sometimes sex workers have a hard time keeping things apart and might bring some attitudes related to the trade into their personal lifes. In this case I think it's perfectly justifiable to be off put.
In reality the attitude towards sex is seldom what deters men from dating SW. It has more to do with notions of sexual exclusivity. Some workers practice non-monogamy for this reason, since non-mono men are likelier to have less of an issue with this.

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No. He thinks of women as products (28 child comments)

and she thinks of men as customers

You aren’t dating the sex worker though. Someone that views sex as transactional and will stick their dick in anyone is too impulsive and of low morals. This is not someone I would date and I definitely could not build a life with someone like this and that’s no matter if they pay or don’t pay.

and what of a woman who sells her body for money? Are they of low morals too?

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I'm starting to think sex work abolition might not be a patriarchal problem... (49 child comments)

I'm finding kinda baffling how women should be able to be sex workers without shame but if someone is a costumer apparently they are considered less by the same persons...?

I don’t consider them less than. I just don’t want to date them. I also didn’t date single parents or people without a job. They are perfectly good people and I respect them but would not choose to date them. Waste of everyone’s time.

Having a preference isn't a problem. My comment was referring to the general dehumanisation I'm finding in the average comment of this thread, and the judgemental tone reserved to only the male part of the deal

You can't buy consent.

For real. These comments are so shallow, dehumanizing, and insecure.

Women thinking men and women who engage in transactional agreements in adult health regulated environments are gross and disgusting, untouchables vs hooking up with strangers at college/ bars/ god knows where lol … interesting read nether-less

You can't buy consent. The notion is fucked up. Use critical thinking.

And sex workers sell services and their consent can be revoked at any time. Just like your consent to the conditions of your job. Or your sexual encounters. Weird how that one works.

I come from a place where I bet you 95% of sex work, playing very safe, is non consensual, coerced, due to extreme necessity or fucked up views on their sexuality due to family abuse. And because of this, a lot of their customers (who are aware of this issue) are not precisely “clean” in their perspective of women.
Now to the point. The 5% sex worker who are there for likeness to their job is not risking any morals. BUT the man who hires is risking the service comes from slavery/abuse. The fact that he agrees with just minonon-research speaks volumes of the man, not of the few legal sex workers.

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As long as they’re safe, consensual (and please don’t give me any “SWers sell consent” BS; I’m friends with enough SWers to know that language only harms them), and treat them well, sure. I’d be concerned if they speaks in a derogatory way about the SWers they hired or about SW/SWers generally. But if they’re on the level, fine. [...] Edit— The comments here have been truly disappointing. Criminalizing clients will criminalize SWers. If you want to advocate for SWers and help them translation out of SW (cause y’all hate SW so much), advocate for fair access to banking (many lose access to banking due to the same morality clauses that denied unmarried women accounts), social media (so many SW can’t have accounts!), and decriminalization/de-stigmatization across the board. You could literally contact your legislators instead of getting mad about it on Reddit. (39 child comments)

I don’t want him to treat sex with me as a commodity to be bought no matter how positively he viewed his experience.

Is he offering you money or another form of payment? If not, how is it inherently different from paying a masseuse for specialty services when you could give him a back rub to further your intimacy and bonding. This attitude is placing sex on some sort of arbitrary pedestal as if it’s either overly sacred (in which case, hope you’ve never had a random hookup) or dirty (which I hope isn’t your take).

I don’t want him to think buying me something like a purse is going to make me want to have sex with me. I’m personally not interested in hookups so nothing is hypocritical about what I’m saying.

But you wouldn’t devalue someone for having a one night stand. You would devalue someone (or assume bad things about them) for paying a sex worker who… knows what they’re doing.

I just don’t like adding the exchange of money to something that should only be about desire in my opinion. One night stands are inherently about mutual desire which isn’t guaranteed with a sex worker who’s doing so for money.

Massaging someone is NOT on the same level as having sex. What the actual fuck. That's a disgusting comparison. Not even close.

Again, arbitrary and culturally conditioned on the idea that sex is somehow sacred beyond any other bodily activity. The only reason you see it as different is patriarchy placing value on women not having sex.

The few women out there who do sex work by true and free choice: more power to you. They are a minority, a very small one. Most sex work is forced, usually by a man, onto a woman, with varioua means. Most of the time it won't be "shackle you to tje bed" kind of foced. But there are many ways to traffick someone without doing that. Any discussion about sex work has to account for this fact. Sex work is not like any other jobs because the vast majority of it is forced. Secondly, sex is more intimate and personal than a massage. That's a pretty universal social rule of our world. It might be a socially determined rule (tho i really would not call it arbitrary) but SWs live in the same society you and I live in. They have not fallen from another dimension where having sex for money is the same as laying bricks for money. They are likely to be affected from it in a similar way than other women. So that makes their exploitation (for the 80% that is exploited) even worse.

So I hope you're super against casual sex too! Insert under capitalism aren't all jobs exploitative?

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Never in a million years did I (28) imagine I would be in this predicament. I’ve been with my husband (29) for a decade, married for four years. I’m trying to make sense of things but I genuinely can’t understand what drove him to cheat. We went through a miscarriage November 2023 and I got pregnant again on April 2024. He knew I was pregnant before he left for a work trip, he was only going to be gone for two weeks. I always trusted him because he never gave me a reason not to. He always reminds me of how beautiful I am a day won’t go by that he won’t give me a compliment. He is very affectionate and he overall treats me like a Queen. When he got back from Chicago I went through his phone and found out he had payed for a bumble subscription and burner app subscription. He also went to the strip club with his co workers on his last day there because he claims his co workers were his ride. He withdrew $200 and I even asked him on that day why did you withdraw that much money. He could’ve admitted to it but he made up a lie. What’s strange about that is that we went to a strip club a month before that me and my sister in law let our mans get a lap dance & me and my husband even got a lap dance together. I’m a really chill wife so why feel the need to go behind my back and hide it from me?? He said he was texting only one girl and supposedly talking to three girls on bumble and that he never met up with them. He simply wanted the attention and said it has been a decade since he talked to someone new so he wanted to feel that feeling when you talk to a new person. He claims he had no intentions on ever meeting up with them or have a physical affair. This is really hard for me to believe because the reason why he got caught up in the first place is because of Reddit. I went on his search history and he was searching up “Hookups in Illinois” “swingers in Illinois” and “singles in Illinois”. He said he was just curious to see what was on there but he swears he never had intentions to have sex with someone else because he’s terrified of catching an STD.
He is aware that he fucked up and seems genuinely sorry he knows there was no good excuse for him to cheat. However he says he felt a lack of emotional connection with me & our sex life hasn’t been great. He has communicated with me in the past but just like he has his complaints I do too. I’ve communicated with him and explained why I don’t feel turned on and I’ve dealt with so much shit. He has a drinking problem and when he drinks he becomes aggressive (he has never laid his hands on me). Throughout the years I learned that he has childhood trauma and that’s why I try to be patient with him. I’ve told him he needs to work on himself and just like I wouldn’t listen to him he wouldn’t listen to me and there would never be any changes between us. I explained to him just because I too sometimes feel neglected because ever since we got married he doesn’t really take me out on dates. That doesn’t mean I’m gonna go cheat on him, I never felt the need to cheat. Despite that overall I don’t think our marriage was that bad for him to feel the need to cheat. He himself would even brag about our marriage all the time and say he’s so glad we’re not toxic like other people. We don’t argue often and we get a long very well. I’m devastated and heartbroken because I explained to him that I’m the only person in his life that is truly there for him and never left his side when things got tough. He doesn’t have a good relationship with his family his parents treat him bad. He only talks to his brother but even his brother is never really there for him. He only reaches out when he wants to drink with him. When we went through a miscarriage instead of being there for him he got drunk and took his car for a joyride… he attempted to commit suicide the day we came back from the hospital when I miscarried I truly believe he’s only alive because of me he even said it himself so why cheat on the woman that is the reason on why you haven’t ended your life?? I also want to add I can’t believe he payed to cheat you can literally download bumble for free…. When I googled his searces he looked up “how to delete bank transactions” so now it’s also financial infidelity. There’s times when he has to take money from our savings to help pay the bills. We’re trying to save up for a house and it’s so frustrating that he would use our hard working money on bumble,burner & strip club. I also want to add before I found out about the cheating and when he got back from his trip our sex life improved drastically! We were having sex 3-4 times a day. I was trying my best to spice things up. Things were going great for us until I found about the cheating and I try to still have sex with him but I can’t even enjoy it because I have the cheating in the back of my mind.
I’m not sure where to go from here, I’m trying to look past this but it’s very difficult for me to move forward. I’m so heartbroken and I’m trying my best not to stress out for the baby but it’s been so hard for me. There’s days when I can barely eat because of how depressed I am. The only reason why I’m trying to make things work is because he didn’t have sex with anyone and obviously because we’re expecting a baby. Have any of y’all been heartbroken, how did you heal from it and if you got cheated on did you stay and try to make the marriage work? If so do you have any advice on how to survive infidelity?

i (16f) am in a trio friend group with 2 other girls whom ive known for 3+ years now. one of them ive known for 7 years, and the other for 4. my friend of 4 years is a sexually active person and when i got close with her body count was around 9, but she was in a serious relationship at the time so i didnt think much of it because she was only having sex with her boyfriend. she broke up with her boyfriend around a year ago and has made some questionable decisions. After she broke up with her boyfriend, she started talking to another boy, who she had sex with within a month of knowing, but she had begun taking him seriously.
he was buying her gifts, taking her on dates, making handcrafted items, and overall was treating her pretty well. they got into an argument and stopped talking for about 2-3 days. in this timespan she had sex with one if her previous bodies, and when her talking stage had asked about it; she lied and said she had not been sleeping with anyone else. i just think this is unsafe considering shes lying about her sexual activity and its unprotected.
she stopped talking to that boy and is now talking to another dude, me and the other girl in our trio were previous friends with him and we think hes a good match for her. they spend lots of time together and she also had sex with him within a month or a few weeks. we thought she was taking him seriously but she told us how she isnt and is still talking to other people online. One boy that she met has been sending her money and asked to hang out at her place after about 2-3 weeks. She said yes and we told her not to have sex wth him but she did. they had unprotected sex. i asked her if the boy she was talking to is aware shes having sex with other people and she said no.
i dont wanna judge or shame her, but i dont want her ruining life and catching something, or giving an STD to someone else unknowingly. what can we do to help her?

Before I jump into story time, here’s a little history for you. We (33f and 31m) just hit our one year TTC anniversary back in February. So far we have had 3 miscarriages (2 MMCs and 1 cp.)
After the second, I suggested my husband go do an investigative sperm analysis. His numbers weren’t bad, but definitely outside of the norm with high oxidative stress, low morphology and poor progressive motility being the heavy hitters.
He has been complaining about some testicular pain for on/off 8 months and finally went to go consult with an andrologist instead of our RE. He ordered a bunch of urine/sperm tests since his ultrasound didn’t show any varicoceles.
One test did come back positive, an infection for Ureaplasma, an apparent “STI”. I’ve been tested time and time again in the gynecologists office for general std/stis but never have I heard of this one before.
Turns out it’s fairly aggressive when it becomes overgrown, and needs an intensive treatment plan with two different antibiotics. If both partners are not treated at the same time, then they can reinfect each other this infection can account for about 30% of RPL cases. I’m so angry that no gynecologist never tested me for this.
Since then, we finished our treatment about a month ago, and tests have come back negative for Ureaplasma. My husband had another SA done before we pursue fertility treatments, and wow…his numbers have completely turned around.
12.3million to 38.9million count
1% morphology to 4% morphology
22% progressive motility to 53% progressive
62% non moving to 28% non moving
3.5% oxidative stress to 0.8% oxidative stress
I can’t believe what a dramatic turn around this has been for such a short period of time.
He has been pretty good about taking a multivitamin which I recommend that contains all of the hallmark fertility antioxidants that I will link here
Hope this can help someone else out there who is struggling with RPL.

M 22 here. I just graduated college ready to get my life started. I’m bisexual and hooked up with a guy a couple of weeks ago. I asked him about his STI history and he said he was completely clean. Now, cut to a couple of weeks later. I was having a lot of pain in my genital area, went to my doctor and got tested. I’m positive for Herpes HSV-2 and Gonorrhea. Given I had my whole life ahead of me, now I have a lifelong virus and am feeling completely hopeless. I’ve been very careful up to this point. I’ve been in a depressive state for the past week. Additionally, he lied about his STD history and I developed two STDs at the same time, putting me in an immense amount of pain. If anyone has any advice on how to treat HSV-2 on the daily to lower the transmission for a partner please let me know, and if there is other advice or steps I can take going forward, please let me know as well. Thank you.

30(f) - UK
I’m at my wits end with these symptoms started 4-5 weeks ago.
Started with itching/swelling/redness at vaginal opening so treated as yeast. Fluconazole improved symptoms. Then noticed white watery discharge took another fluconazole 5 days later. No change.
Doctor gave me 1 week doxycycline as precaution? Even though I’m in a monogamous relationship married for 12 years. Took antibiotics anyway whilst waiting for STD panel which all turned out negative.
Symptoms worse after antibiotics no itching but more watery discharge. Another fluconazole no change again. By this time assumed it’s not working so used clotrimazole pessary which improved watery discharge for 1-2 days but now one week after using the pessary I have abundant clumpy off white slightly yellow cottage cheese discharge. No itching.
Also experiencing pelvic/abdominal pain that sometimes reaches my legs and back ache since the onset of symptoms. Doctors diagnosed IBS (strongly disagree).
Urine sample negative for infection.
Swabs for chlamydia/gonorrhea negative.
Has anyone else experience this? I’m hoping to start a family and have a fertility appointment soon but I can’t face being intimate with this going on!

i have a kinda crazy bump/ulcer rash break out that i thought happened from me accidentally popping a pimple because i have no std symptoms like my piss burning or frequently, the bumps & whatever else don’t burn, or itch (other than when it’s just dry because i’m trying not to put anything on it like lotion that could make it worse) My recent partner also got tested & we had sex before I seen any visual signs & she only had an STI nothing serious but a few days later & I have a CRAZY breakout & im thinking i have something worse ?? I’ve had an STI before & got treated but never had any bumps or anything is this something else???

Okay so I been getting yeast infections since I started having my periods and Utis since I was even younger. However, I been treating them and they seem to NEVER go away. I took so many different std tests and Bv tests. Along with other specific tests. They all have the same thing. The BV positive and yeast. Sometimes I get rid of one but then still have the other. I treat Bv, I get yeast. I treat yeast I get bv. I treat Uti, I get yeast. WHAT DO I DO. Recently I tried the vaginal boric acid. It does help but damn. IS this just me???

Just found out I (28M) have chlamydia.
The last time I did an STD test that was clean was October 2022. Last time I hooked up with someone was early August 2023. So I could've gotten it anytime between October 2022 and August 2023. I remember I had hookups about once per month from December 2022 to Jan 2023, and from May to August 2023, once per month. And I always used condoms on hookups and it still happened. Only now I realized oral can transmit too.
My current gf (31F), who I've been with on and off since Jan 2023, is now infected as well. I'm afraid I gave it to her. We broke up briefly in April 2023 but got back together later that year. I just totalled screwed her. I should've gotten tested before I get with her. She did not sleep with anyone else other than me since we met. And she was clean.
She has just had a chemical miscarriage because of this. That's how we found out. And now she has to go thru a D&C.
I feel awful for doing this to her. I read online it seems chlamydia does a lot more harm to women than to men. If left untreated it can cause whole bunch of issues. Worst case scenario she got it from me in Jan 2023, and she's only treating it now, almost one and half year later. Would this have done irreversible damage to her reproductive system by now? Can she still have children safely in the future?
Before I met my current gf, she did have 2 children and there was bleeding during her pregnancy, both times. She lost a lot of blood while giving birth to her second child. and she felt like she's half dead after giving birth each time. It was like this for all the women in her family.
With her already weak genetics, now plus chlamydia, is there any hope of her having more children in the future? Will she have to resort to surrogacy if she does want more children?
I am extremely worried about her.
Thank you for reading.
TL; DR: I (28M) gave my gf (31F) chlamydia, she used to bleed during her past 2 pregnancies and giving birth almost killed her. Now because of chlamydia she had a chemical miscarriage and now has to go thru D&C. Will she still be able to have children in the future? Is it safe?

I thought I would share my experience with syphilis since I don't see alot of post about it. Female (24) My first initial symptom was hairloss in April 2021 after that I stared experiencing migraines and fever early june. I felt very tired and dehydrated all summer. In early August, I started to experience joint pain in my wrist and knees. Late August, i got a small rash on my torso and legs. I got std tested on September and come back positive for syphilis my titer was 1:2045. I was treated with a single shot of penicillin G. The shot is painful and I had to sit right after it bc i felt like i was going to pass out. After 3 monthts my titer droped to 1:520 and at 6 months my titer had dropped to 1:32. A year later after treatment my titer dropped to 1:2 . Meaning that treatment was successful. Now its 2024 my titer is 1:1. I still have lingerie symptoms. My hair never stopped falling and I've had to cut it many times its super thim and brittle now. Had anyone else experience this? I had talked to my doctor and she said there is nothing she can do. My hair would never ever fall before syphilis and I feel like I'm at an end road without answers.

36M with strange pains going on the last two weeks or so. Since that time, I have been having random aching to sharp pains in the tip of my penis along with my pelvic area, upper legs, and lower back from time to time. The pain in the tip of my penis seems to be constant. I also have a slight burning feeling when I urinate and a constant urge to do so.
With that said, my penis looks completely normal. There are no red spots, itching, discharge, etc. at all. My urine looks normal and has no odor or anything odd. My stream is also pretty normal for me. There is no dribbling or anything when I urinate.
When this pain started I was actually out of town visiting family. I informed my father who had a leftover bottle of antibiotics he had from a recent urine infection. I took those antibiotics along with 800 mg of ibuprofen once daily and my pain would be gone for most of the day, however, I don’t want to remain on ibuprofen.
The antibiotic I was taking was Cephalexin 500mg three times daily. It didn’t seem to make much difference, even after completing them.
I returned home this morning and decided to lay off the ibuprofen and take Tylenol instead. Tylenol did not help much with the pain at all, so I ended up going to the local urgent care clinic to get checked.
The clinic did a urine test and said I was negative for a UTI, but they are going to send it off to a lab for a culture check. They also asked me to start taking a new antibiotic to treat a UTI (Ciprofloxacin 500 mg), however, I am worried about taking this with no positive infection test and the side effects I’ve heard of.
They also gave me a muscle relaxer (cyclobenzaprine 5 mg) and another script for ibuprofen 800 mg.
She mentioned if I still had issues early next week after taking this medicine to come back and they will perform additional testing and go from there. I went ahead and make an appointment after this on my own with a very highly rated urologist in my area, but couldn’t get an appointment until July 24.
I tend to get major health anxiety when anything goes wrong with my body. My father was diagnosed last year with prostate cancer at the age of 67 and recently had it removed along with radiation treatment. He has had a rough time, so I am very worried about my situation.
Please let me know your opinions. I’m a bit worried to continue on any of these medications.
*Note - I have been married for a few years now and have one sexual partner only.

what the title says: it’s terrible! It’s been years and years since I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, and thankfully I no longer fit most of the diagnostic criteria. I’ve really taken back my life in the last 6-7 years and I now spend most of my days with a normal, healthy level of stress and relaxation. great! oh but the one thing, the one thing that still gets me is the health anxiety. if I so much as start sniffling from allergies it’s enough to send me back into a panic. It doesn’t help that I have the constitution of a wet paper towel and I get sick a lot, so every couple of months I’m dealing with the worst kind of exposure therapy. I recently got treated for a UTI and despite the medicine working (which would, you know, indicate that this was the correct diagnosis), my brain is still CONVINCED I have cancer, or like, an STD, the former of which is really unlikely and the latter completely impossible. Every time I end up with a mild illness or benign infection I just start overanalyzing every single thing my body is doing and feeling until I’m half convinced I’m about to keel over and die right then. I think the worst part is knowing I’m being completely irrational and still not being able to stop. It sucks absolute balls. I’m lucky to have a good support system but sometimes I just need to vent semi anonymously I guess. Thanks for listening strangers. Anyways don’t get a UTI the medicine they treat it with will turn your pee bright fucking neon orange which is VERY SCARY.

Burner account.
I, (32F) have been with my partner “LB” (30M)(names changed for privacy reasons) have been together for 7 years.
LB and I had been friends for years prior to this. When LB and I began dating, I was leaving a very toxic environment and had a child from a previous engagement.
I set my boundaries quickly due to a lot of childhood abuse, and sexual trauma I’d experienced with a partner who had a severe pornography addiction and forced me to do explicit acts. My ex partner is now on the SOL for r*pe. This same man still stalks me occasionally and it’s caused a plethora of diagnosis’s including BPD, CPTSD, generalized anxiety — etc.
I had made it clear at the beginning of the relationship, albeit softly, that I would not tolerate pornography use of any kind and he seemed wholeheartedly onboard and said he would respect me and there would be no problems. I felt very safe and comfortable with him knowing that he knew the trauma I’d gone through, although he was unaware of what pornography had to do with it.
Fast forward a few years and two kids later, and I was sexually assaulted by a friend while LB and I were on a break. I went to them for comfort, and thought they could be trusted. It took a week or so, but LB said he wanted to “work things out” with me so I told him what happened, except, I didn’t. Out of fear of not being believed (because it happened with everyone in my family and friend group up until then), I told him I had a consensual interaction with this person. Because I thought he would take it easier and feared he would look at me as “damaged goods”.
Regardless, he made the decision based on that to end the relationship and I was devastated. That was, until, I learned that I was pregnant. LB decided to stick by me up until the end of the pregnancy, and I decided on a DNA test because I felt it wasn’t fair for him not to know (we had sex within the same week). Unfortunately, my child (baby B) was not his and we were both devastated.
He became standoffish and cold, and I knew he was done with the relationship. So we split. During this timeframe, I was devastated and heartbroken because he would take the kids half the time, and the child (A) I had previous to the relationship didn’t understand why “daddy always left them behind”. It broke me.
A few months later, LB came to me and said “I am so stupid. I have missed you so much, and I’ve missed A and baby B so much. I understand if you won’t let me, but I really want to come home”. I was standoffish and fearful of being abandoned again, but like an idiot, I let him come over and we ended up having sex. Just a few weeks later, I found out I was pregnant again.
So to clarify, we are now five children deep. (Three his, two not).
I took the opportunity to immediately have my tubes removed, because I was so devastated and feared that things wouldn’t work out. And unfortunately, the man who had assaulted me during LB and I’s break wasn’t making things easier on me.
Things were doing well. Fantastic even. We made big life changes together and all was better than it ever was, given the circumstances. His family liked me, he loved me, the kids were happy — all was well.
Until one day, I was speaking with a mutual friend who told me “D (31F) has started up her onlyfans account again, I know you’re probably gonna be uncomfortable”. I asked why and he said “because I know LB was such a fan, he was paying her rent”. I’m not gonna lie — I laughed. The man was so sexually avoidant with me for years, that I genuinely thought there was no chance. So I reached out to the woman, and she confirmed it all.
I immediately went to LB and approached him. He denied it, gaslit me, wouldn’t show bank statements, was ashamed and embarrassed and shut down. I was shattered. I begged for communication because I couldn’t kick him out, it was our new home and I couldn’t afford it alone. I gave him a few months to come clean, and little by little continued pouring out. He admitted almost everything. Until I found something in his email…
I found out he had been communicating, sexting, and even had an inactive Grindr account. I was shattered. I approached him and he clenched up, shut down and grabbed a notebook. I sat silently until he was done. He wrote to me that he had been sexually assaulted by one of his close family members as a child. That he had been hiding things since he was young and that he had began watching pornography as a prepubescent teen. Mind you, I had seen this man cry once in our entire relationship and it was a solid two tears.
He broke down, sobbing. Ashamed and embarrassed and I kept telling him all was okay. He even reached out to said family member and confronted them, and they denied everything which to me, seemed suspicious because they said they “had no recollection” and “was really sorry if that “actually” happened to him”. Now comes my question…
How do I cope with the lying? The gaslighting, the deceit? Am I allowed to feel cheated on? Mistreated, abused, lied to? Am I wrong for having questions about the situation or feeling like I’m not getting the whole story? Am I allowed to be angry, or want more answers? Or do I need to leave it as it is? It’s been two years since I found everything out, and he has completely removed pornography from his life. He treats me completely different and things have been so good so far, but in my heart of hearts — I cannot let this go. He denies any physical sexual activity and he was screened with a full STD panel, all of which came back negative.
Edit: there was one final thing I wanted to add.
His family member is someone who we saw at Christmas, and just had a child of his own (DB, 6mo). I had my baby B there and they were running around the house, playing. I caught said family member JBJ (32M) checking out baby B in what I deemed as a sexual manner, so I snatched baby B up and ran to tell LB. LB cornered JBJ in front of everyone and said “I will f**king kill you” and everyone thought LB was joking, so they laughed it off. I saw the shift in LB when I told him, I don’t think he’s lying and the children are no longer allowed around him or their family unless JBJ isn’t there.
I also have to state that pornography and sexual deviancy runs deep in his family. His parents were polyamorous (which to each their own, whatever) but his father had been insisting on bringing a “prostitute” into their marriage and asked my children if they wanted a second “grandma”. LB shut it down before I could.

23M. GW appeared in February, as I mentioned in my first post.
It’s been ~3 months since I was diagnosed with GW and so far I’m only treating them with acid since using Imiquimod/Aldara is expensive.
I was having weekly reoccurrences, which is something my doctor thought it was weird, so I did a full std check but thankfully all were negative.
I’m having my second shot of the vaccine this week - I really don’t know if it helps with the reoccurrences but since my first shot the number of GW decreased although I’m still having them frequently.
Anyway, it’s not something I’m worried about since there’s not much I can do.

Now I know a lot of people on this forum will have a problem with this post. Although I'm making it for people who might be in the same boat as me, and maybe this will help them.
I first found out about UA from this forum. I got an evvy test and I had a very low percentage. Probably about 0.2, and although my doctor advised against treating it, and so did the evvy team because it was such a low amount I did. I mainly did it because people in this forum continuously told me to, and that if I didn't I would be risking myself, and my partners health.
The first time I did the standard doxy + AZ, and waited awhile before doing another test. It was still there along with other things I had never gotten before. I got BV and a UTI for the first time after taking the antibiotics.
I did another Microbiome test and the UA was a HIGHER amount, and my good bacteria was completely depleted. My first test I had a Type 1A ( I Believe). I had a high amount of good bacteria in the beginning, and a low amount of bad.
This made me very depressed. So I waited it out, and tried again this time lengthening the antibiotic regimen. I thought it'll be gone for sure now right? WRONG. The second time is when all hell broke loose. I started getting pelvic pain which was new, very bad vaginal burning, and a bad smell all which wasn't present before.
This time around I got enteroccaucas (I think that's how you spell it?) Which turns out to be much harder to get rid of! and the UA was still there, and just switch from U.P to U.U and U.U is supposed to be more problematic than the U.P. Variant. Its supposedly more likely to cause symptoms to!
I then had to do amoxicillin to treat the enterococcus. It was extremely painful it felt like my vagina was DYING. I told the evvy team and my doctor everything going on, and they advised me to stop treating it.
I didn't listen. All the post on here really scared me, and I know it's just people sharing their own experiences, but I realize now not to take medical advice online so seriously. I was so depressed during this time. I felt disgusting. Especially with telling my partner everything, and mind you he did not even test positive.
I waited a few months after the amoxicillin, and tried one final time to do the doxy + AZ. Again a bad result I got a yeast infection this time, and the U.U was STILL there at this point I was devastated.
I followed all of the Reddit forums advice spacing out treatments, and spacing out test. I tried every antibiotic regimen recommended, and this went on for nearly a YEAR.
Fast forward to recently I decided to give my body another break, and I also decided to do the evvy treatment reccomendation. This consisted of boric acid during bad flare ups of my now brand new symptoms (yay). I had to take high dosage of oral probiotics, and vaginal probiotics. Sustained from sex, and this regimen lasted 3-4 months.
I then tested again, and at this point I fully expected it to NOT be gone, because the reddit forum did say only antibiotics could get rid of it. I checked out mentally at this point. Told myself I didn't care, and was quite frankly ready to GIVE up on life in general. That is how distressed this whole thing made me.
Plus it seemed like the antibiotics only made things worse, and there was no other way to get rid of it. As I was "infected" and "contagious" forever. Although my partner tested negative, and still did the antibiotic usage for my peace of mind. I would not touch him as I didn't want to "pass it".
Fast forward and after getting a PCR test AND a microbiome test. UA was NOT detected. I could not believe it. After all of the antibiotics I had taken that had FAILED (and yes I spaced them out waited the time length to retest and did everything correctly).
The thing that got rid of UA was boric acid, vaginal probiotics, and oral probiotics. Also no sex so no new bacteria could throw off the process.
I know a LOT of people on this forum are going to shout how wrong I am. Or try to convince me the test was a false negative (even though I did a few), but I wanted to share my experience for those who have been taking consistent antibiotics, and not able to get rid of it.
I am saying maybe try a new route. I am NOT a doctor so this is NOT medical advice.
Just my own experience to maybe help someone.
Not to discredit all the research people have done on here. I just believe doctors have more access to verified medical research than we do. Microbiologist as well get to actually deeply study this bacteria in real time.
So the research they have currently I personally feel shouldn't be disregarded completely like it is on this forum.
I have seen so much fear monguling, and spam of UA on here I even kind of questions if it was some kind of advertisement thing for online pharmacies.
Telling people that they have and STD/STI over a bacteria that has not been professionally categorized as such is wrong in my opinion.
Even if just trying to help I don't think reddit should continue to allow that kind of irresponsible behavior.
Anyway this is my experience with it. How I got rid of it. I hope maybe this helps someone suffering like I did. I also want to mention I didn't have any significant problems before I did a UA test I just had dryness and clumpy discharge (gone before UA was done), which wasn't normal for me. The problems that followed which were MUCH worse happened after repeated antibiotic use, and they still remain even now that's it's out of my system.
I also recently found out I have endometriosis, and the pelvic pain stppped when I treated that. The other symptoms burning, soreness etc are still present. I think because of the infections I got from repeated antibiotic use gave me Vulvodynia.
Anyway that's how I got rid of it, and I hope this helps someone.

I (35M) took a trip with some friends and had 2 encounters. Both were full protection and no slips. The last encounter took place 48 hours before getting home and upon arrival I went to the clinic to get an std panel done. Once I left the clinic I took another precaution and downed 2G of Azythromycin followed by 3 days of 500mg. Following this treatment I had felt a small itch in my urethra didn’t think much of it because of what I had taken prior. Another few days pass and itch has continued with some irritation on the urethra. No burning while urinating some lite pressure in the pelvic region, I decided to get a urine test and showed some protein, some bacteria. I went to a urologist and explained everything he said that based solely on the urine exam It doesn’t look like anything and that the z pack should’ve taken care of anything I could have potentially gotten. The doctor said it could be friction from the sex and or an allergy to a soap (I did mention the soap provided at the location made my skin feel unbearably dry) he prescribed Fluconazol 150mg and rigresan 3G as a one time dose, and that in a few days I should have nothing to worry about. Has anyone else run into a situation like this?