Trying this again! This month, in addition to the full retirement update that will be posted later, we'll be doing a list of every set available that month! Expect a bricklink post later this month

FULL LIST ON GOOGLE SHEETS, WITH LEGO.COM LINKS <--

RELEASING JUNE 1ST WORLDWIDE

Theme	Subtheme	Set #	Set Name	Retirement
BrickHeadz	Disney	40749	Joy, Sadness & Anxiety	Dec 31, 2024
BrickHeadz	Lord of the Rings	40751	Legolas & Gimli	Dec 31, 2024
City	Jungle	60424	Jungle Explorer ATV Red Panda Mission	Dec 31, 2024
City	Jungle	60425	Jungle Explorer Water Plane	Dec 31, 2024
Friends	-	42636	Heartlake City Preschool (4+)	Dec 31, 2024
BrickHeadz	Disney	40752	Carl, Russell, & Kevin	Dec 31, 2025
BrickHeadz	Disney	40753	Mirabel Madrigal	Dec 31, 2025
City	-	60407	Red Double-Decker Sightseeing Bus	Dec 31, 2025
City	-	60420	Yellow Construction Excavator	Dec 31, 2025
City	Jungle	60426	Jungle Explorer Off-Road Truck	Dec 31, 2025
Disney	-	43240	Maleficent's Dragon Form	Dec 31, 2025
Disney	-	43243	Simba The Lion King Cub	Dec 31, 2025
Disney	-	43245	The Magical Madrigal House	Dec 31, 2025
Disney	-	43247	Young Simba The Lion King (18+)	Dec 31, 2025
Disney	-	43252	Moana's Flowerpot	Dec 31, 2025
Disney	-	43276	Snow White's Jewelry Box	Dec 31, 2025
Friends	-	42618	Heartlake City Café	Dec 31, 2025
Friends	-	42622	Adventure Camp Archery Range	Dec 31, 2025
Friends	-	42623	Beach Water Scooter	Dec 31, 2025
Friends	-	42624	Adventure Camp Cozy Cabins	Dec 31, 2025
Friends	-	42625	Beach Smoothie Stand	Dec 31, 2025
Friends	-	42626	Adventure Camp Water Sports	Dec 31, 2025
Friends	-	42631	Adventure Camp Tree House	Dec 31, 2025
Friends	-	42635	Dog-Grooming Car (4+)	Dec 31, 2025
Friends	-	42638	Castle Bed And Breakfast	Dec 31, 2025
Harry Potter	-	76434	Aragog In The Forbidden Forest	Dec 31, 2025
Minecraft	-	21259	The Pirate Ship Voyage	Dec 31, 2025
Minecraft	-	21260	The Cherry Blossom Garden	Dec 31, 2025
Minecraft	-	21261	The Wolf Stronghold	Dec 31, 2025
Minecraft	-	21262	The Windmill Farm	Dec 31, 2025
Minecraft	-	21263	The Badlands Mineshaft	Dec 31, 2025
Minecraft	-	21264	The Ender Dragon And End Ship	Dec 31, 2025
Ninjago	-	30675	Tournament Training Ground Polybag	Dec 31, 2025
Ninjago	-	71814	Tournament Temple City	Dec 31, 2025
Speed Champions	-	76923	Lamborghini Lambo V12 Vision Gran Turismo	Dec 31, 2025
Speed Champions	-	76924	Mercedes-AMG G63 & Mercedes-AMG SL 63	Dec 31, 2025
Speed Champions	-	76925	Aston Martin Safety Car & AMR23	Dec 31, 2025
Star Wars	-	75373	Ambush On Mandalore Battle Pack	Dec 31, 2025
Star Wars	-	75386	Paz Vizsla And Moff Gideon Battle	Dec 31, 2025
Star Wars	Character Mech	75390	Luke Skywalker X-Wing Mech	Dec 31, 2025
Star Wars	Microfighter	75391	Captain Rex Y-Wing Microfighter	Dec 31, 2025
Gabby's Dollhouse	-	10795	Crafting With Baby Box (4+)	Jul 31, 2026
Gabby's Dollhouse	-	10796	Gabby's Kitty Care Ear (4+)	Jul 31, 2026
Gabby's Dollhouse	-	10797	Gabby's Party Room (4+)	Jul 31, 2026
Gabby's Dollhouse	-	10797	Gabby's Party Room (4+)	Jul 31, 2026
Duplo	-	10439	Cars And Trucks Brick Box	Dec 31, 2026
Harry Potter	-	76427	Buckbeak	Dec 31, 2026
Harry Potter	-	76431	Hogwarts Castle: Potions Class	Dec 31, 2026
Harry Potter	-	76433	Mandrake	Dec 31, 2026
Harry Potter	-	76435	Hogwarts Castle: The Great Hall	Dec 31, 2026
Harry Potter	-	76439	Ollivanders & Madam Malkin's Robes	Dec 31, 2026
Harry Potter	-	76440	Triwizard Tournament: The Arrival	Dec 31, 2026
Ideas	-	21349	Tuxedo Cat	Dec 31, 2026
Architecture	-	21061	Notre-Dame de Paris	Dec 31, 2027
Icons	Lord of the Rings	10333	The Lord Of The Rings: Barad-dûr	Dec 31, 2027
Icons	-	10334	Retro Radio	Dec 31, 2027
Miscellaneous	-	40719	Traditional Chess Set	Dec 31, 2027

FULL LIST ON GOOGLE SHEETS, WITH LEGO.COM LINKS <--

Releasing in July in North America

Theme	Subtheme	Set #	Set Name	Retirement
Disney	-	43235	Ariel's Music Stage (4+)	Dec 31, 2025
Disney	-	43244	Elsa's Ice Palace	Dec 31, 2025
Disney	-	43254	Ariel's Crystal Cavern (4+)	Dec 31, 2025

FULL LIST ON GOOGLE SHEETS, WITH LEGO.COM LINKS <--

Releasing in August in North America

Theme	Subtheme	Set #	Set Name	Retirement
Batman	-	76272	The Batcave with Batman, Batgirl and The Joker (4+)	Dec 31, 2024
Duplo	Disney	10420	Ariel And Flounder's Café Stand	Dec 31, 2024
Batman	-	76270	Batman Mech Armour	Dec 31, 2025
Batman	-	76273	Batman Construction Figure And The Bat-Pod Bike	Dec 31, 2025
Batman	-	76274	Batman With The Batmobile VS. Harley Quinn And Mr. Freeze	Dec 31, 2025
City	-	60407	Red Double-Decker Sightseeing Bus	Dec 31, 2025
City	-	60408	Car Transporter Truck with Sports Cars	Dec 31, 2025
City	-	60409	Yellow Mobile Construction Crane	Dec 31, 2025
City	-	60421	Robot World Roller-Coaster Park	Dec 31, 2025
City	-	60422	Seaside Harbor With Cargo Ship	Dec 31, 2025
City	-	60435	Tow Truck (4+)	Dec 31, 2025
City	Jungle	60437	Jungle Explorer Helicopter at Base Camp	Dec 31, 2025
City	-	60440	Yellow Delivery Truck	Dec 31, 2025
Creator	3-in-1	31153	Modern House	Dec 31, 2025
Disney	-	43251	Antonio's Animal Sanctuary	Dec 31, 2025
Jurassic	World	76965	Dinosaur Missions: Stegosaurus Discovery	Dec 31, 2025
Monkie Kid	-	80056	Nine-Headed Beast	Dec 31, 2025
Ninjago	-	71816	Zane's Ice Motorcycle	Dec 31, 2025
Ninjago	-	71818	Tournament Battle Arena	Dec 31, 2025
Ninjago	-	71820	Ninja Team Combo Vehicle	Dec 31, 2025
Ninjago	-	71821	Cole's Titan Dragon Mech	Dec 31, 2025
Ninjago	-	71822	Source Dragon of Motion	Dec 31, 2025
Creator	3-in-1	31151	T. Rex	Dec 31, 2026
Disney	-	40720	Mini Disney Sleeping Beauty Castle	Dec 31, 2026
Duplo	Marvel	10424	Spin's Motorcycle Adventure	Dec 31, 2026
Duplo	Peppa Pig	10431	Peppa Pig Garden & Tree House	Dec 31, 2026
Duplo	Peppa Pig	10432	Peppa Pig Boat Trip	Dec 31, 2026
Duplo	Peppa Pig	10433	Peppa Pig Birthday House	Dec 31, 2026
Duplo	Peppa Pig	10434	Peppa Pig Supermarket	Dec 31, 2026
Duplo	Disney	10435	Ariel's Magical Underwater Palace	Dec 31, 2026
Jurassic	World	76962	Baby Bumpy: Ankylosaurus	Dec 31, 2026
Jurassic	World	76966	Dinosaur Missions: Allosaurus Transport Truck	Dec 31, 2026
Monkie Kid	-	80055	Monkie Kid's Team Power Truck	Dec 31, 2026
Monkie Kid	-	80057	Nezha's Ring of Fire Mech	Dec 31, 2026
Monkie Kid	-	80058	Celestial Pagoda	Dec 31, 2026
Friends	-	42630	Heartlake City Water Park	Dec 31, 2027

FULL LIST ON GOOGLE SHEETS, WITH LEGO.COM LINKS <--

Continuing…
They all know who I am and as they say “RHIP”, or rank has its privilege. They’re all Oil Patch and know that I’ve been around the block a few times, handle explosives with the greatest of ease, and ran more rigs and drilled more meters than most of them have had hot dinners.
All salt of the earth types. I just lay a few ground rules; such as no firearms, no excessive drinking and if there’s a major problem, they come to see me first. These guys are true Oil Patch and guarantee me that all shall be done as I require.
Besides, I’ll be running the Bowling Ball Bingo show and the only one with access to explosives. They know all about field explosives and are as wary of it as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. That I can handle the stuff with deft and aplomb, they both respect and admire that.
“It’s good to be the king”, I think, recalling a line from a favorite Mel Brook’s movie.
I’ve got the guys off setting up the checkerboard for bowling ball bingo.
“Y’know”, I said after a week or so of farting around designing and building everything, “We’ve not had a shakedown on the punt guns (bowling ball mortars)”.
“That’s right.”, Kit agreed. I toss him my truck keys and he and half the guys take off to Madden’s place to pick-up the cannons so we might test them.
Earlier, I figured that each square of the 8×8 matrix I’m working on could be 1 meter square. However real BINGO numbers go to 75, so I’d have to use an odd shape, like 5×15 target area.
First, we need to see how the cannons are going to work.
Luckily, I’ve got a lockbox in the bed of my truck. In there I have a nice little selection of black and gun powder, dynamite (40-50-60-70% Herculene Xtra-Fast), some bricks of C-4, RDX, PETN and the usual assortment of blasting caps, cannon fuse, variable millisecond delay caps, blasting cap super-boosters, a couple of galvanometers, as well as a few handheld and floor-model detonators.
Some combination of these should put the bowling ball up in a ballistic trajectory where it’ll come down somewhere on the grid. That area will be flagged and the number read out by the guys who will be riding quads out in the field. I’ve researched the innumerable types of games one can play with bingo (remembering to order the Bingo Cards), and chosen 4 to be run, to keep it somewhat simple. We have to determine the cost of cards and the types of payouts.
I’ll run by and see Father Rivera at the local Catholic Church. He should be a fountain of bingo knowledge. He was helpful to the idea that each cash payout had to be larger than the last, so plan accordingly.
The guys show up with the finished cannons, all painted a different color (red, green, blue and black) and half a trailer full of slightly scorched bowling balls.
We use a boom arm off the Cat to pick up the cannons and site them sort of where we plan to put the ‘shooting gallery’. I walk back from my truck with an assortment of explosives and explosive paraphernalia.
“School’s about to commence, guys. Gather ‘round.”, I say to all present.
I go through about an hour’s worth of explanation and discourse on the care and feeding of explosivores. I show what small samples of every explosive I carry does in both confined and unreconstructed areas.
I do think I got their attention when I made a full 40-ounce beer bottle simply disappear with the addition of one of my home-brew binary liquids.
Don’t worry. It was just Old English Malt Liquor. No great loss.
I supervised the setting up of a cannon with some black powder. We could ignite electrically or just use some cannon fuse.
“Cannon fuse? What do you use that for?”
“My cannons.”
Obviously.
So, I estimated that a half-pound of Fourxxxx would give the first ball the proper trajectory. We aligned the thing the best we could (as it had no sights, this was being done solely by seat-of-one’s-pants trial and error), charged the cannon, added a projectile and made certain it was seated snugly, but not too tightly. We ran over the full-fledged Safety Dance, cleared the compass, tootled the area with our airhorns and at the count of FIRE!
I had Kit light the ceremonious first fuse.
“K-BLAMMMM!”
Not too bad. Except we overshot the grid by ~550 yards and the only way we could estimate the landing area of the bowling ball was by the splash and irritated trout of the Lower San Juan River.
“And that, my friends,” I said seriously, “Is why you have dry runs and an open firing range.”
The rest of the day was taken up with both testing different combinations of explosives and recording the results. We had a couple of quad bikes on loan from the local sand rail company, so I had the guys take turns going out, running down the ball’s landing zone and calculating the distance and accuracy.
Around ball number 12, we were getting consistent results with both C-4 and PETN. All it took was a bit of gimbaling on the cannon’s major axis and we had the problem well in hand and the cannons dialed in pretty damn well.
I figured to make a buck or two extra, we could charge folks a small donation to tilt the cannon one direction or another and maybe, charge them for upping or reducing the charge volume.
“Step right up, folks”, I can imagine, “Drop a dollar for a degree and a fiver for the charge.”
Thinking that if people were really watching their cards, they’d want any sort of edge to get that final number, especially with a growing jackpot.
We had contracted one of the electrical shops in town to build a tote-board 5×15 with the letters BINGO alight. That way, people could see where we were hitting, what numbers were officially “off the board” as we’d light a LED on that particular square and where they might shift a cannon to hit one or more preferred numbers.
We also devised a ruler, of sorts, that was divided into quarters. Any question of the bowling ball impacted in one number or another, we’d employ the divider. Whichever had the greatest coverage, well, that was the number.
This was set up in the rules beforehand and posted at the shooting gallery and other areas around the park.
Since this was to be a more-or-less charitable event, we had to figure out the cost for parking (turned out to be free), cost of various beers (between $1 and $4), our take from the food court (we decided on 25%), how much to pay security (the voted and did it for free beer of which my say was absolute), and various other things like “which charity?”
Most everyone was donating some time or effort or materials, so no one wanted any pay other than free admittance. We even had a couple of farmers almost come to loggerheads as to who could provide a more elegant petting zoo.
The organizers held a conclave and decided that the bulk of the funds accrued would go to the local kid’s sports collective. Another chunk of change was to go to the recently closed (for financial reasons) public natatorium in town to get it back up to specs and operating, as well as another portion going to the Oilfield Widows and Orphans fund, and the last going to the library to update their rather meager collections.
What we didn’t expect that once word got out about out little plan, that more of the local businessmen wanted space in the park to peddle their wares.
Their wares being CBD, pot, edibles, and other such botanicals in this most enlightened state.
We said “Sure, but we don’t have a lot of room. We never expected this sort of interest”.
To which, they replied that they don’t need a whole lot of room and would set up between the already established vendors.
The upshot was “Fine. Come one, come all. Just check to see if this is all legal and come on down. First come, first served.”
It was all taking shape, and we even found a printer in town that would print up posters for the soiree and help with their distribution.
We actually had to turn away vendors of such things as mobile phones, double-glazed windows and gutter cleaning services.
We had run down all the legalities when Zach mentioned that his cousin was a local police officer, and that we should let them know of out plans.
“Sure”, I said, “Why not?”
We still had a section of dying trees that needed attention so one bright and early Thursday morning, everyone assembled over by the trees and the old tree cemetery that probably extended back centuries.
I started in by knocking down a couple of ancient, though riddled, elms. These were big trees, some 1.5 meters in diameter, 100’ tall and heavier than a whore’s conscience. Even with the renovated Cat, they were just too massive and uncooperative to drop and get horizontal.
“Alf”, I said, tossing him my keys, “Go bring my truck over. We’re going to have to change tactics here a bit.”
He was back within minutes, and was wondering what I was now pulling out of my truck’s lockbox.
I produced a 2-cycle gas-operated SkilDrill, complete with Forestry Suppliers extendable drill/augecore bits.
It fired up almost instantly and I instructed where to drill on the old trees to best facilitate the reception of a few sticks of the detonating chemical persuasion.
Kit worked the dozer on some of the outlying trees, and even with its new overhaul, it just couldn’t quite muster up enough oomph to shift some of the larger trees.
While some of the still standing Live Oak were larger than the poor, afflicted elms.
“Better living through chemistry”, I snickered.
I charged and primed a couple of the larger trees and a couple of the more ancient stumps. I wanted shattering, detonating explosions, so I went with liquid binaries (an old Moldovan recipe) on the stumps and a combination of RDX and PETN on the still standing, though leaning, elms.
I decided that this was the place that fuses would be best used. I wanted the binaries to fire first and then, the elms and their charges.
Kit and crew took off in my truck and parked a good 750 meters away. I had an idling quad as I set to the business of lighting off various fuses in their proper sequence.
Just as I lit the final fuse, I jumped, well, got in a hurry, on the quad. I headed for Kit and the crew when I see a number of local constabulary and their new cruisers headed my way. If they didn’t abort soon, we’d intersect at a point less than 100 meters from ground zero.
Not good.
So, I drove at full tilt towards them and waving like a madman, convinced them to reverse and perhaps not park so close to a few hundred tons of afflicted, and smoldering, wood.
We rendezvous over by my truck, with Kit and crew hunkered down on the lee side. I yelled for the cops to do likewise. An errant 250-pound piece of dead oak or elm tree could certainly muss up one’s day.
There were 5 of them and they were all carping about how we didn’t do this or have that when suddenly, everybody standing lost their footing.
“Great!”, I exclaimed, “Those binaries work a treat!”
The police were just about to get up and dust themselves off when there was a series of mighty roars, all being liberated at over 19,000’ per second from my handy-dandy RDX-PETN mixtures.
“That’s six”, I said as I stood, “That’s all of them”.
I grabbed some binoculars and looked to the west. There were several large smoking holes, several huge hunks of tree stumps and not a single tree left upright.
“It worked great!”, I said to Kit and crew. “Beats hacking away with chainsaws, especially in this weather.”
“Who is responsible for all this?” one of the cops I didn’t recognize said apoplectically.
“That would be me”. I said and extended a hand for a manly handshake.
“And who the hell are you”, he asked.
Kit, the crew and the rest of the cops looked at him like he sprouted cabbages.
“I am Doctor Rocknocker. BS, MS, MS again, PhD, DSC and holder of International Master Blasters Certifications. Want to see the paperwork?” I asked, slightly huffed.
“Oh, ah. No”, He sputtered. “We were told to come over here and get a briefing on what you all were planning.”
“Or you could have gone to city hall and view the documents there.” I said, slightly perturbed.
“You plan to do this for your upcoming festival?” He asked.
“No”, I replied, “we’re using much smaller punt guns to launch bowling balls.”
“Then what was that?” he exclaimed as he pointed to the still smoldering pile of trees.
“That”, I replied, “Is my partial payment to the landowner here for use of his property.”
I stayed to chat with the police, as Kit and the crew took the Cat over to see what they could move around now.
Everything turned out fine, as they missed my red warning flags indicating that I was planning on doing some blasting.
“Gents”, I said, “Are you not trained in the finer points of high explosives?”
Then there was the issue of the SIDE TRIP.
Es and I were going to take a day or 5, go down to Mexico and procure the opening/closing fireworks
Dramatic carsone: My truck: 2023 Dark Red (Burgundy) Dodge Ram 3500. Cap for bed. AKA: “The Pig”.
Es’ car: 1997 Porsche 911 Carrera Cabriolet Value: AKA: “The Brown Bitch”.
Es was growing tired of her old Porsche. Especially when I was off in my truck doing oilfield things and she had to stuff 250 pounds of recalcitrant Khan into her car for a quick vet trip.
“But you always told me you wanted a Porsche.” I complained.
“Yeah”, Es replied, “I did, but that was then. This in now. You’re gone a lot and I need a bigger vehicle.”
“OK”, I replied, “Your call. What are you looking at?”
“Well”, Es smiled, “There’s this Old Cutlass that I’ve had my eye on...”
I looked at the Internet ad.
Oh, sweet baby Jesus...
Look, I may be a Boomer Gearhead, but my wife eclipses that many-fold.
She’s looking at a fucking serious muscle car.
I got over muscle cars when I blew the 401CI V-8 out of my ‘77 Gremlin years ago.
Now I look for heavy duty, relative large comfort, and ability to haul tons of stuff.
So, off we went to Erdemont, OK.
We found the owner of the car out in the depths of an ancient barn. It appeared he had lived here his entire life.
“You want to be looking at my Olds?” He inquired.
“Yeah”, I replied, “My wife wants to step up from her old Porsche.”
He went over and inspected Es’s car.
For some reason, it was a cream-puff he had to have.
I told Es to go look at his other cars. I needed room to schmooze.
He wanted $105k for the Olds.
He would give $85k for Brown Bitch.
He dropped to $90k and upped BB to $90k.
I lit a cigar and produced a bottle of Kentucky Rye whiskey.
An hour later, we swapped pink slips.
Es is still over the moon.
In case you’re wondering, here’s the details on Es’s new ride: 1984 Hurst/Olds Cutlass: Blocked and blueprinted 455 CI V8, Offenhauser heads/valve covers/blower riser, Jahn’s racing pistons, 4.526-inch bore and 4.75-inch stroke cam, Series 08/61 S/S Crager rims, Mickey Thompson Sportsman S/R 17130QT 325-50D-15 radial ‘RunHot’ DOT Tires, Holley Double Pumper twin 4-barrel carbs, twin Precision on-demand turbos, +36 psi boost, NOX system, and Wilwood racing brakes.
The car’s V-8 dynos at 873 horsepower and around 777 pound-feet of torque. Hurst Lightning Rods Triple Shifter: far right performs the shift from first to second gear. To get up to third gear, use the middle lever. Or leave the lever on the far left in either “D” for Drive or “OD” for Overdrive. One lever could get the job done with the four-speed overdrive automatic; but where’s the fun in that?
It sports “47 coats of hand-rubbed Candy Grape deep purple” lacquer. Button-tucked custom chrome-gray leather interior.
“Deep Purple”. Its new moniker.
Plus it sports an 8-track player.
It was the 8-track player that pushed me over the line.
So, we are now cruising from Oklahoma at near warp-speed towards the Mexican border.
“Are you really this tired of life or are you just seeing what this thing will do?” I asked as we passed a defunct Weigh Station at 123 mph.
“I’m just trying to sort this all out”, Es smiled a mile wide. “Hang on, I’m going to hit the blowers...”
Very much of the scenery between Oklahoma and Mexico passed as a painted blur.
“Pulled out of San Pedro late one night.
The moon and the stars was shinin' bright.
We was drivin' up Grapevine Hill
Passing cars like they was standing still.
Now I thought she'd lost all sense
And telephone poles looked like a picket fence.
I said "Slow down! I see spots!
The lines on the road just look like dots."
We passed an ICE immigration post at 147 miles per hour; the car purring like a Cheshire Cat with a deep, dark secret.
“Es, darling. Could we slow down a bit?” I implored.
“Well, OK”, Es replied. “Spoilsport. I never got the second turbo to kick in...”
Remind me to phone Geico when we return home and up our policies…
Down in Mexico, we purchased enough ordnance to stockpile a third-world nation. If fact, the trunk was so full, we put the spares in the backseat. We then lined the backseat with more aerials, ground effects and boomer-busters than should be allowed.
It took some serious talking and hand-outs to get back into the US.
“No, really”, I explained. “It for my research. Into seismic events. In the San Juan Basin.”
“No, really”, I explained, “I am globally fully certified Class-A explosives expert.”
“No, really”, I explained, “I’m just getting supplies for the Fourth of July.”
Well, that didn't work worth a shit, so I slipped them a couple of new Benjamins and the next thing you know, we’re in Truth or Consequences dawdling over a breakfast of enchiladas, burritos and smothered tacos.
Now, driving home from Mexico to New Mexico with fireworks can be a thrilling yet potentially risky endeavor. So what if you take a few risks? That’s where the fun is…
Anyways, it's more or less essential to be aware of the regulations regarding transporting fireworks across borders, as they can vary between countries and states.
Here are some key points to consider:
Legal Regulations: Make sure you're aware of the laws regarding fireworks in both Mexico and New Mexico. Transporting certain types of fireworks may be restricted or even prohibited. However, this doesn’t apply if you’re certified internationally and well known in this part of the world.
Safety Precautions: Ensure that the fireworks are properly secured and stored during transit to prevent any accidents or damage. Keep them away from any potential sources of ignition. Don’t leave them in the sun, near ashtrays or next to smoldering cigars. Words to live by...
Documentation: Carry all necessary paperwork, including receipts or permits for the fireworks, especially if they are large quantities or commercial-grade. Or, just be certified and pay bribes. Eh’. Either way.
Border Crossing: Be prepared for possible inspections at the border. Declare the fireworks to the customs officials and follow their instructions. Failure to declare or attempting to smuggle fireworks across borders can lead to serious legal consequences. More bribery. Or, as I like to call it, “pump priming”. “Benjamins, mis amigos!”
Transportation Vehicle: Ensure that the vehicle you're using for transportation is suitable for carrying fireworks safely. Avoid overcrowding the vehicle or storing fireworks in a manner that could cause them to shift or fall during transit. Make sure it’s runs like a raped ape. Speed thrills or something like that. Faster and faster ‘till the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death.
Route Planning: Plan your route carefully, taking into account any restrictions or regulations regarding the transportation of fireworks. Avoid areas with high fire risk, especially during dry seasons. Or, just stick to the blacktop superslab when trying to establish new land-speed records.
Emergency Preparedness: Have a plan in place in case of emergencies, such as a fire or accident involving the fireworks. Carry fire extinguishers and other safety equipment in the vehicle. Or just jettison that which is smoking when it shouldn’t be. Scares the hell out of returning coyotes and nervous cartel members.
Local Regulations: Upon reaching New Mexico, familiarize yourself with any additional state or local regulations regarding the storage and use of fireworks. Or just drive like hell and get the car in the garage as soon as possible and avoid all the paperwork frivolities.
Remember, safety should always be the top priority when transporting fireworks. If you're unsure about any aspect of the process, it's best to seek guidance from authorities or legal experts to ensure compliance with all relevant regulations. Or just use common sense, drive mostly at night and carry large, heavy caliber sidearms. Equip your ride with ample cup holders and ash trays.
We blew past Socorro, Albuquerque and Bernalillo like they weren’t even there. We did slow down in Cuba to stop at the Cuba Cafe for Navajo Tacos, Fry Bread and Liver and Onions.
Best damned liver and onions this side of my kitchen.
Further north and somewhat west, Es lightly tapped the brakes, spun us in a slick 180⁰ degree Bootlegger Spin, and backed perfectly into our garage.
I was secretly thrilled when the garage door clattered closed as Es’ car rumbled down like the old Adam West-version Batmobile. Sure, it cost a ton in gas, but once I get this record ratified, we’ll have something else to charge after…
Khan was pleased once we got all of the ordnance out of the new car as he staked his claim on the Old’s back seat; something he couldn’t do in the Porsche Brown Bitch.
Also, someone once again borrowed my truck without telling me.
I hope.
Enough of this nonsense. Everything’s locked in my two back yard explosives sheds (Yes. 2 sheds…) and I need a stiff drink or seven, a new cigar and a few laps around our new Jacuzzi. Es and I designed one around a South West US fire-pit, bar-be-que, wet bar, and media center.
It’s already 0300 and we’re floating in our own personal worlds. Es has granted me the necessary time to complete our ball park-Bingo Hall mission, but that’s for tomorrow. And in the words of the famous philosopher Felix E. Feist, ‘tomorrow is another day’.
G’night, all. YAWN.
The dawn broke ridiculously bright and sunny as so often happens when there’s no mesotropical storms in the area. The sky was blue as a newborn baby’s veins and the dawn clear and uncluttered as a fake royal lineage.
I woke, looked out side and grumbled: “Bloody weather”.
I’m often a grumpy curmudgeon before my first coffee.
Bolstered by a large, black Kona, an equally large and black Camacho Triple Maduro, along with a phone call from Rick that he had my truck, the morning was shaping up to be something that might not only be tolerated, but potentially actually enjoyed.
Khan was already fed and had his walkies. Luckily our next-door neighbor’s kid Igor loved walking Khan.
Seems no one gave him the tiniest bit of shit when he’s out walking Khan.
Es had run into town to secure some floss or twine or barbed wire or something for her latest needlepoint project. This should keep her busy for hours.
The guys worked diligently while Es and I were out and about. Good thing, too, as the festival night was rapidly approaching.
I wondered about another coffee when my goddamned work phone began to warble.
“Shit, shit, shit!”, I growled. “Not now. Go call someone else...”
“Yeah?”, I said gruffly into the rap-rod. “What do you want?”
It was the County Commissioner.
“Yeah, Jerry?”, I said.
Well, some county employee had mown too close to a small gas well, of which there are about 800,000 in the San Juan Basin.
Clipped it, upset one or another metal-to-metal seals and the damn thing caught fire.
“Just what the fuck I need.” I groused.
“Where, when and how?”, I asked Jerry.
“Yeah. OK. I know the area. As soon as I can retrieve my truck, I’ll go out and handle it. What? No, this one I’ll handle alone. Get your check writing machine going, Jer, I charge triple for emergencies.”
As far as oil-gas well fires go, this one was a sparkler compared to some of the 48” Japanese shells I’ve handled. Got a hold of Rick and he hotfooted it back with my truck (after he cleaned out the empties and cleared the ashtrays). The fire was about 12 miles distant and after I dropped Rick off at the fairgrounds, I gave him orders for the day.
“I’m out of pocket for a few hours”, I informed him. “You’re in charge until I get back. You know the routine. Get everything up and running, I want a dry-run when I return.”
Rick appreciated that when I put someone in charge of a project, I mean it. I also me that if you do well, you’ll be handsomely rewarded. If you fuck up, however, then the 2,000-pound shithammer’s gonna fall.
I trust Rick and the rest of my crew. I fully expect everything to be standing tall and looking good when I return.
I jump in my truck, smell the inevitable aroma of some Mexican Agriculture (which is very legal hereabouts) and notice my truck has recently been run through the local Pep-Boys cleaning and detailing service.
Fair dinkum, mate.
On my way to the well, I made a series of calls. I let the operator know that I was on the job, I let Jerry know I was en-route. I let the others, whom shall remain nameless, sit and stew.
“Listen, Agent Rack”, I said into my brand new, Government issued cell phone telephone, “I know it’s been a while and you and Agent Ruin are champing at the but to get back in the field, but after that last little tadoo in Russia and Ukraine, I’m not so sure I want to be associated with you types.”
Both agents gasped in disbelief. They were well trained, by some of the greatest divas in the business, how to feign emotions and act all put out when they were really just bored and wanted out of the office.
“OK”, I finally relented, “This job is a doddle. Even if I dawdle, my pipe won’t even get to the dottle on this job.”
“OK, fine”, I finally relented. “If I’m not working on this little blowout, then you can meet me over at the County Fairgrounds and help me run through the exhibits and games. In fact, that’s be a good use of your time here. That way, I can write all of this off and have the Agency foot the bill.”
They readily agreed and noted they’d be seeing me in no less than 4 hours.
“I can hardly wait”, I replied to what I suspected was already a dead phone.
“Kids...”, I said in head-shaking amusement as Rack and Ruin, Senior Agents all, we fully 20 years my junior.
And I never let a moment pass when I could remind them of this temporal anomaly.
I knew just about where the fire was by the density ripple emanating off the smooth plain. I drove up to the wee little pumpjack and say it was still burning.
“Pfft.”, I pffted. “Only 400 pounds on the static gauge.” No oil. No condensate. Just a gasser that blowing out of a small orifice created when some county knothead mowed too closely to the thing and bumped it off kilter.
I decided that I could handle this by myself.
I got into my hot suit, the spiffy super-reflective silver one with the internal air conditioning, and picked out a likely-looking sledgehammer.
To be continued…

So I just read a post about a redditor whose 5 y.o. having issues with bed wetting and I thought I should share my experience with potty training and more specifically nighttime. I saw a bunch of reassuring comments about how it's normal and there's a hormonal reason for bedwetting before age 8(?). I didn't know that, so shoutout to everyone teaching other internet strangers new things! Kids bodies change and start producing antidiuretic hormone or ADH to decrease urine creation at night. Science.
ANYHOW. This is a story of our almost 4 year olds first year of potty training and how he's been accident free at night. Bare 🐻 with me if you can! I understand that bedwetting seems to be hereditary but it can hurt to try building your own Toddler Evening Tacticle Wee Schedule ©
First off, we used the "Oh Crap! Potty Training book" and had success. But we didn't seriously start potty training until age 3. It was super helpful to have someone layout a militant potty training method and then we used that as scaffolding to create our own evening schedule with foreground focus on capital letter FUN and in the background get in the habit of creating an evening schedule. From age 2.5 to 3 he was peeing on the toilet once a day which was just before getting into the bathtub and that was a good intro to big boy potty time.
Anyway onto our toddlers dry nighttime sheets method. It starts with dinner:
My wife and I started busting ass to get everyone's dinner on the table earlier than in the past. We were trying to get a toddler down for bed with a belly full of food and no one was sleeping as well as they could. So our routine looked like this now:
5:30 dinner 8:30 we're reading his last book and heshould be asleep in the next 15.
After dinner we start to wean water intake. Like hand him his cup every 15-30 minutes and say "take a little sip, kiddo". So after dinner (6:15-7:30) this is the water sipping period. It has to be a conscious effort on both sides to say, "okay, let's not overdo it on the water" I don't think my little guys knock-off batmobile bedframe has water damage listed on his insurance so let's keep that shit crisp.
As aside, my 6yo nephew has type 1 diabetes. So if your little ones are having problems keeping weight on and they are thirsty all the time, try to budget time and money to see a pediatrician. That shit sucks and can be scary...
So as an aside. When my son is healthy, as is no daycare colds and green boogers. he's only asking for water at bedtime because Daddy can't season a steak to save his life.
So with this water and dinner schedule in place. We make sure our son is peeing A MINIMUM OF TWO TIMES after dinner. Most importantly, once before bath time, and once more before after story time, or just before falling asleep.
He has a small training potty in his room near his bed which we help him sit on while he's sleeping... I was amazed at his ability to stay asleep and pee like a race horse in June. °o° ! I think they make bigger models that would be easier for a 5-6 yo to use in the middle of the night if your bathroom and little ones bedroom is too far apart.
All this to say, our life isn't perfect and we don't always follow this plan.but eating well, sleeping well and staying properly hydrated is so important to kids and adults alike.
But what do I know? I'm just an internet stranger who's been sick for a week straight and sleep deprived and may or may not have cried in front of his boss today 🤷
Cheers. Please feel free to reach out and discuss things further!

So I just read a post about a redditor whose 5 y.o. having issues with bed wetting and I thought I should share my experience with potty training and more specifically nighttime. I saw a bunch of reassuring comments about how it's normal and there's a hormonal reason for bedwetting before age 8(?). I didn't know that, so shoutout to everyone teaching other internet strangers new things! Kids bodies change and start producing antidiuretic hormone or ADH to decrease urine creation at night. Science.
ANYHOW. This is a story of our almost 4 year olds first year of potty training and how he's been accident free at night. Bare 🐻 with me if you can! I understand that bedwetting seems to be hereditary but it can hurt to try building your own Toddler Evening Tacticle Wee Schedule ©
First off, we used the "Oh Crap! Potty Training book" and had success. But we didn't seriously start potty training until age 3. It was super helpful to have someone layout a militant potty training method and then we used that as scaffolding to create our own evening schedule with foreground focus on capital letter FUN and in the background get in the habit of creating an evening schedule. From age 2.5 to 3 he was peeing on the toilet once a day which was just before getting into the bathtub and that was a good intro to big boy potty time.
Anyway onto our toddlers dry nighttime sheets method. It starts with dinner:
My wife and I started busting ass to get everyone's dinner on the table earlier than in the past. We were trying to get a toddler down for bed with a belly full of food and no one was sleeping as well as they could. So our routine looked like this now:
5:30 dinner 8:30 we're reading his last book and heshould be asleep in the next 15.
After dinner we start to wean water intake. Like hand him his cup every 15-30 minutes and say "take a little sip, kiddo". So after dinner (6:15-7:30) this is the water sipping period. It has to be a conscious effort on both sides to say, "okay, let's not overdo it on the water" I don't think my little guys knock-off batmobile bedframe has water damage listed on his insurance so let's keep that shit crisp.
As aside, my 6yo nephew has type 1 diabetes. So if your little ones are having problems keeping weight on and they are thirsty all the time, try to budget time and money to see a pediatrician. That shit sucks and can be scary...
So as an aside. When my son is healthy, as is no daycare colds and green boogers. he's only asking for water at bedtime because Daddy can't season a steak to save his life.
So with this water and dinner schedule in place. We make sure our son is peeing A MINIMUM OF TWO TIMES after dinner. Most importantly, once before bath time, and once more before after story time, or just before falling asleep.
He has a small training potty in his room near his bed which we help him sit on while he's sleeping... I was amazed at his ability to stay asleep and pee like a race horse in June. °o° ! I think they make bigger models that would be easier for a 5-6 yo to use in the middle of the night if your bathroom and little ones bedroom is too far apart.
All this to say, our life isn't perfect and we don't always follow this plan.but eating well, sleeping well and staying properly hydrated is so important to kids and adults alike.
But what do I know? I'm just an internet stranger who's been sick for a week straight and sleep deprived and may or may not have cried in front of his boss today 🤷
Cheers. Please feel free to reach out and discuss things further!

So I just read a post about a redditor whose 5 y.o. having issues with bed wetting and I thought I should share my experience with potty training and more specifically nighttime. I saw a bunch of reassuring comments about how it's normal and there's a hormonal reason for bedwetting before age 8(?). I didn't know that, so shoutout to everyone teaching other internet strangers new things! Kids bodies change and start producing antidiuretic hormone or ADH to decrease urine creation at night. Science.
ANYHOW. This is a story of our almost 4 year olds first year of potty training and how he's been accident free at night. Bare 🐻 with me if you can! I understand that bedwetting seems to be hereditary but it can hurt to try building your own Toddler Evening Tacticle Wee Schedule ©
First off, we used the "Oh Crap! Potty Training book" and had success. But we didn't seriously start potty training until age 3. It was super helpful to have someone layout a militant potty training method and then we used that as scaffolding to create our own evening schedule with foreground focus on capital letter FUN and in the background get in the habit of creating an evening schedule. From age 2.5 to 3 he was peeing on the toilet once a day which was just before getting into the bathtub and that was a good intro to big boy potty time.
Anyway onto our toddlers dry nighttime sheets method. It starts with dinner:
My wife and I started busting ass to get everyone's dinner on the table earlier than in the past. We were trying to get a toddler down for bed with a belly full of food and no one was sleeping as well as they could. So our routine looked like this now:
5:30 dinner 8:30 we're reading his last book and heshould be asleep in the next 15.
After dinner we start to wean water intake. Like hand him his cup every 15-30 minutes and say "take a little sip, kiddo". So after dinner (6:15-7:30) this is the water sipping period. It has to be a conscious effort on both sides to say, "okay, let's not overdo it on the water" I don't think my little guys knock-off batmobile bedframe has water damage listed on his insurance so let's keep that shit crisp.
As aside, my 6yo nephew has type 1 diabetes. So if your little ones are having problems keeping weight on and they are thirsty all the time, try to budget time and money to see a pediatrician. That shit sucks and can be scary...
So as an aside. When my son is healthy, as is no daycare colds and green boogers. he's only asking for water at bedtime because Daddy can't season a steak to save his life.
So with this water and dinner schedule in place. We make sure our son is peeing A MINIMUM OF TWO TIMES after dinner. Most importantly, once before bath time, and once more before after story time, or just before falling asleep.
He has a small training potty in his room near his bed which we help him sit on while he's sleeping... I was amazed at his ability to stay asleep and pee like a race horse in June. °o° ! I think they make bigger models that would be easier for a 5-6 yo to use in the middle of the night if your bathroom and little ones bedroom is too far apart.
All this to say, our life isn't perfect and we don't always follow this plan.but eating well, sleeping well and staying properly hydrated is so important to kids and adults alike.
But what do I know? I'm just an internet stranger who's been sick for a week straight and sleep deprived and may or may not have cried in front of his boss today 🤷
Cheers. Please feel free to reach out and discuss things further!

So I just read a post about a redditotd 5 y.o. having issues with bed wetting and I thought I should share my experience with potty training and more specifically nighttime. I saw a bunch of reassuring comments about how it's normal and there's a hormonal reason for bedwetting before age 8(?). I didn't know that, so shoutout to everyone teaching other internet strangers new things! Kids bodies change and start producing antidiuretic hormone or ADH to decrease urine creation at night. Science.
ANYHOW. This is a story of our almost 4 year olds first year of potty training and how he's been accident free at night. Bare 🐻 with me if you can! I understand that bedwetting seems to be hereditary but it can hurt to try building your own Toddler Evening Tacticle Wee Schedule ©
First off, we used the "Oh Crap! Potty Training book" and had success. But we didn't seriously start potty training until age 3. It was super helpful to have someone layout a militant potty training method and then we used that as scaffolding to create our own evening schedule with foreground focus on capital letter FUN and in the background get in the habit of creating an evening schedule. From age 2.5 to 3 he was peeing on the toilet once a day which was just before getting into the bathtub and that was a good intro to big boy potty time.
Anyway onto our toddlers dry nighttime sheets method. It starts with dinner:
My wife and I started busting ass to get everyone's dinner on the table earlier than in the past. We were trying to get a toddler down for bed with a belly full of food and no one was sleeping as well as they could. So our routine looked like this now:
5:30 dinner 8:30 we're reading his last book and heshould be asleep in the next 15.
After dinner we start to wean water intake. Like hand him his cup every 15-30 minutes and say "take a little sip, kiddo". So after dinner (6:15-7:30) this is the water sipping period. It has to be a conscious effort on both sides to say, "okay, let's not overdo it on the water" I don't think my little guys knock-off batmobile bedframe has water damage listed on his insurance so let's keep that shit crisp.
As aside, my 6yo nephew has type 1 diabetes. So if your little ones are having problems keeping weight on and they are thirsty all the time, try to budget time and money to see a pediatrician. That shit sucks and can be scary...
So as an aside. When my son is healthy, as is no daycare colds and green boogers. he's only asking for water at bedtime because Daddy can't season a steak to save his life.
So with this water and dinner schedule in place. We make sure our son is peeing A MINIMUM OF TWO TIMES after dinner. Most importantly, once before bath time, and once more before after story time, or just before falling asleep.
He has a small training potty in his room near his bed which we help him sit on while he's sleeping... I was amazed at his ability to stay asleep and pee like a race horse in June. °o° ! I think they make bigger models that would be easier for a 5-6 yo to use in the middle of the night if your bathroom and little ones bedroom is too far apart.
All this to say, our life isn't perfect and we don't always follow this plan.but eating well, sleeping well and staying properly hydrated is so important to kids and adults alike.
But what do I know? I'm just an internet stranger who's been sick for a week straight and sleep deprived and may or may not have cried in front of his boss today 🤷
Cheers. Please feel free to reach out and discuss things further!

Sorry for the long post, a bit of therapy for me. March 14, is depressing day for me. This compilation of my memories and medical records. I was circumcised at birth. All I found in my medical records was a signed consent for anesthesia for my Circ.
When I was 9, I had my yearly doctor's PE visit. I don’t have any memories of anything about the visit, until the end. I thought we were done, I guess my mom and the doctor were talking. Don’t remember anything about what they spoke about. Then the Doctor had me get back on the table, I laid down and he removed my pants and underwear. He was examining me, I can’t lie, it felt pretty good. He wrote in my chart “Pro inadequate circumcision. Remaining prepuce is not tight or irritated but quite uneven and irregular. Sched Circ.” . A couple of weeks later, my mom took me back to back to the Doctor, I remember wondering if he was going to examine me again. But it was just what the chart said was the pre op visit. So just a blood test ect.
I was diagnosed with “redundant foreskin,” and the surgery was a circumcision. It was Tuesday, March 14, 1972, I was checked in at the hospital at 3 p.m., according to the records. The next thing I remember is that at the hospital, in the room, there was another boy named “Pete” sharing the room with me. I don’t remember what time my mom left me; I was in the hospital gown, and not wearing any underwear. I didn't like that. When no one was around, I put on my underwear. next thing I remember is the nurse coming in to check on me. I was not sure why she was looking under my gown, but she made me take off my underwear again. She told me “ Even if I had any other surgery, I still could not wear underwear”. That night, I could not sleep, I was scared. I remember the only light that shone in the room was from the nurses station. Pete was between my bed and the nurses station. He was sleeping and uncovered, I could see his penis, and I remember thinking, “I wish was like him.”
The next morning, I remember being wheeled to the OR, I felt scared and alone. Finally, the last thing I remember was the cold air hitting my penis as they removed the blanket, and then the mask being put over my mouth and nose. I awoke in the recovery room, it was dark, machines beeping, and I fell back asleep. The rest of that day was a blur. My dad stopped by in the afternoon to check on me, he stayed for a little while. He asked to look at my penis, he looked under the blanket and I asked if it hurt. I never understood why he allowed this to happen, as he was uncut. Every nurse that stopped by looked at my penis and logged my progress, it was embarrassing. My next memory was the next day, I was in my hospital room, and I had to pee. The nurse helped me go to the bathroom. This was the first time I saw my penis, it was really big (swollen), purple, black, and blue. The whole thing looked horrible. The stitches were thick, black, poky, and looked like Frankenstein. Later tat day, my older sister picked me up. I was so happy to get out of the hospital. She stopped at the store on the way home, I just wanted to get home. When we got home, I remember just going under the dining table (my batcave) and playing with my batmobile. The phone rang, I assume it was my mom, My sister gave her all the details of my release. It kind of sucked that everyone was talking about my penis. A couple of weeks later, most of the stitches had fallen out, leaving an ugly scar where every stitch was. There was one stitch that was really short and embedded in my skin, looked like what I know it to be a blackhead, but then it was a black, hard thing stuck in my skin. After playing with it for a while, it finally fell out, and I now have a stitch tunnel where that stitch was. I was cut really tight, with just a 5–10mm mucosal collar (inner skin). After puberty, my erections were tight and curved to the left. I discovered foreskin restoration around 1995. There were very few devices at that time, so I started with t-tape and a roll of quarters for my weight. I became friends with Jim Bigelow, one of the founders of FS Restoration. I did it off and on for 18 years, then got serious in 2013. I'm now at a ci6 or ci-7, I have complete flaccid coverage, but no erect coverage as I'm a grower. My erections are straight and I'm at least a have at least a half inch longer. Stick with it!! KOT

Now hold up, before you say 'What the fuck has been this dude been smoking?" let me cook, This is actually a part of my fanfic(https://archiveofourown.org/works/53593564/chapters/139393990, yes I'm that desperate lol) and I'm gonna change parts about Jason:
The changes would be that Jason like his Arkham counterpart gets tortured for a year, but he would also get blown up like his UTRH comic part, now a second change is that Jason mysteriously wakes up after the explosion, and all of his injuries are gone, and his right hand is back in place after he chopped it off to prevent infection. And he would wander, and wander, and just pass out on a bed in an empty house. And he would wake up to people entering, and he would hide in the bathroom, and those people would turn out to be the League of Assassins. And Jason would manage to choke one out but get captured because he's not at 100% and he's rusty, because you know he's tortured for a year and then blown up. Jason would be sent to Ra's, and the league would quickly figure out that Jason is a metahuman(It kicked in after he was blown up) and he has superhuman durability, regeneration, rapid healing, adaptability(His body can adapt to different environments like the Arctic, or how to transport blood without his heart) and he's a little bit stronger and faster than DeathStroke. Ra's would this as an advantage, and he would order his guards to take Jason away and to train him for something big.
ANd it would be hell for Jason, because he's extremely traumatized and scared of everyone around him because of how badly the Joker hurt him, and all he wants it to get back to his family, to Bruce, to Alfred, to Barbara, to everyone. And the guards constantly beat him up but he never suffers any real damage.
And two months later , He is knocked out, and he wakes up in a cold place, and it's night,, in a forest,snowing. And he would find a note in his pocket that says 'Kill the leader of North or we explode your heart' and there's coordinates,(PS: This is just fanfiction, Kim Jong un, please don't send assassins after me) basically what they mean is that they have planted an explosive chip in his heart(Keep in mind, they don't know about the other powers, they just know He' has superhuman durability and healing, they don't know about the regeneration or adaptability) and Jason finds his way to the place, and he would knock a guard out in panic, and he would grab weapons(A glock, an Ak47 and a knife), and he would sneak into the leader's room and slit his throat. And then the place goes into a lockdown, and Jason would kill every soldier in the way, and he would start looking for a way out, and he would enter a room and there are cages with animals in them. And there's A white Tiger, a White Lion, a Kodiak Bear and her cub. Those animals were ready to be transported and sold on the black market. and Jason at first would ignore them(At this point he just wants to survive, like nothing else matters) and look for a way out, and he does find one, but he couldn't bring himself to leave those animals to suffer, so he went back, and he sees that a fire broke out, the generator had caught on fire, so Jason had to act Quick. And he would manage to release the lion and the tiger and they would run. And the mother bear wouldn't budge and growl at him whenever he got close. And her cage was about to catch on fire, so Jason just opens it and thinks that he will somehow survived this. And the Mother gets ABSOLUTELY PISSED!!!!! And she would start mauling Jason, but thanks to his powers, he manages to tank them, and she would maul for 15 minutes when she realizes there's no point, and she would grab her cub and run to the way out.
And Jason would get up and bolt to the exit as well, and there's a big shootout with the military when he exits the building, and he escapes to the forest, and suddenly the heart chip explodes and he's just completely stunned and he would collapse in the snow. And he would wake up to people dragging him by his feet, to their village and he passes out again. Little does he know.....
And he would wake up to him kneeling on the ground, and his hands and feet are tied up,and he notices he's in a butchering line with other captives. Basically, the people who got him were cannibals because at some point they would go nuts because of the starvation, and the people in the village would catch people out of other towns and cities, and they would eat them. And one of them makes a comment about how they have an 'Evil American'. And the leader of the village would get on the top of the factory(Not the rooftop, just the higher stairs, l don't know what they're called) to 'celebrate'. And he pulls over the giant blanket that is covering something up. And it's the mother bear, tied up(This sounds kinky, FUCK NO!), and Jason starts looking around and notices her bear cub being held in a cage, and he's scared. And after the leader is done with his speech, flamethowers aimed at the mother are fired, and the leader would also slash with a machete while she is getting cooked alive. And Jason is just shocked and staring while the bear cub is crying.And Jason would break out of the ropes and bit a guy's jingular, and Jason would spit whatever blood got into his mouth, and then grab the Makarov on the ground and start a firefight. And Jason would eventually kill the cannibals, and he would order the leader to kneel. And the leader would beg him to let him go and that they would never cross paths again. And Jason would be like "But you'll cross someone's path. You'd do this to anyone, right? Besides...Karma is a bitch." And he would slash the leader to death with the same machete the leader slashed the mother. And Jason would free the captives and they would thank him, shake hands, etc. And Jason would open the cage the bear cub is in, and pick him in his arms. Jason would take him in because his mother is dead and he has no one. And Jason would call him Rex. And he would get ready to go to the South Korean border. And they would go. And Jason is actually successful and doing quite well with Rex. And he would get within 5 miles of the border...then suddenly an arrow goes through his knee and he would fall down. It's League of Assasins henchmen(Ra's found out Jason didn't die), and Jason would get into a fight with them, when an arrow hit Rex near the heart.and jason gets overpowered, but suddenly someone would drove a knife through the throat of who shot the arrow. And Jason would overpower the rest of henchmen, and the woman would remove her hood(It's Talia, she found out about what Ra's did to Jason, and she's a lot like her old version, shes sweet and kind,) and She would start inspecting Rex. And she tells Jason there's a way for Rex to survive
There was a military facility hidden a mile away(The league of Assassins was on good relations with North Korea). There was an experimental supersoldier serum, it's showing promising results. If Jason mixed his blood with it, and injected it in Rex, Rex could survive. And Jason would get ready to go, and he's ruthless and cold. Anyway, he manages to get the serum and he mixed his blood with it,and he immediately injected it in Rex. And Jason and Talia waited. And they would hear cries and then they would laugh. And After this, a lot of things happen familiar like in canon. He would go away to train after Talia told him Bruce didn't kill the Joker. And He would go under a lot of teachers(Deathstroke, Shiva, Etc) and meanwhile Rex would get trained too with him. Rex is a superbear because of the serum, he's also smart for a bear. And Jason would also teach him how to track, orders, and something he called BMA(Bear martial arts, it includes BJJ, Judo, Sambo, wrestling) and Rex is also quite social and friendly, despite getting the moniker 'Death Hound', and He is basically the bear version of Jason's Ace. And despite Jason loving bikes more, he would get something called the Hoodmobile(His own version of the Batmobile) So he could transport Rex easily in short distances.
And Jason would come back in Gotham as under the Red Hood after 6 years, and he just didn't bother with the threatrics UTRH Jason pulled, he didn't bother making Bruce choose between him and the Joker because this Jason is more mature because of Rex. This Jason just pulls the trigger on the Joker the moment he got the chance. And l would suspect Jason and Bruce fight, maybe also Tim. But Jason doesn't really care or seek for approval, he got what he wanted, he doesn't bother with drama, He has a Kodiak Superbear to take care of. And He would move to Miami into a nice beach house/ a nice villa in Eureka(They go to Miami once its winter so Rex wouldn't hibernate), and he would let Barbara, Dick and Alfred visit him a lot. And He would help in Gotham BUT on his own terms. He would work as a mercenary(He doesn't hurt innocent people, he would kill corrupt politicians) and yeah that's it. You can also have that Talia is his mom if you want to, as for why he's white, just say he never got his old skin color back after he came to life, it's a side effect, anyway. That's my take. What do you think lol(I'm writing this at 3am)
One thing l also did is parrarrel between Nightwing and Batman, and The Deathhound and Red Hood.

Why? Just Why Porsha?
Let me list your Red Flags!
You had your supporters all psyched up, raising money for rent and a deposit, yet you weren't APPROVED! (Even though you made your supporters believe otherwise)
You showed zero interest in raising money for a utility deposit, as you would need electricity operating to move in.
You went to the leasing office with zero credentials (IF in fact, the entire scenario was above board)
You were so anxious to get keys...the very same day, that is rare, it usually happens for wealthy potential tenants, and not always, even in that case
You involved your known moderator to be involved in your shenanigans, as if that scenario isn't customary for you
You didn't wake up and call at 9 am, though you were so adamant about moving quickly
You botched your "I've checked out of the hotel, to being back at said hotel, that's why you are green screening your lives!
Your new beautiful, darling landlord, was so willing to lose her job, by telling you, on live to defraud the company, for which she is employed, to call and pretend to be your Aunt Walker, and to ask them to speed up the approval process! I knew then, you were dealing with some shady bull-junk! She was so nice, as to tell you how to bend and twist, to get Princess Porsha, into a previously infested bed bug apartment. No apartment manager, would dare discuss that with you. But she didn't stop there, she offered up her maintenance guy, to use his truck to caravan you about...my radar, says NEVER IN A BILLION YEARS, it's too big of a LIABILITY! OH wait, I'm not done, she just happened to have a "little" refrigerator and a deep freezer to give to you. Girl, were you moving behind Sanford and Son?
What apartment complex accepts cash apps to their managers? (Serious Red Flag)
You did NOT sign a lease, you did not collect $200, you lied, just like you did with the batmobile! You got that guy to play along with your scheme and you claimed that he GAVE YOU A VAN! REMEMBER???? So no, this isn't new or surprising to me...
Now you have to put on an act to justify taking these folks $,$$$.$$'s Being angry, talking about very important people are watching people on TikTok troll you...how, by shooting against you, it's a game dummy...folks can do with their money what they please, but did you tell the fake important people why? Did you tell them that those were folks that you attempted to shit on and you are only getting your karma?? I'll bet you $1052.00 that you didn't!!
Are you getting the picture?
Remember the girl with the kids, who you raised money for who you claimed was homeless, yet she lived in your building?
Remember Chris stole your money off Cash App, but your dumb ass let him shit the money away playing computer games?
Remember Keyshawna, Krissy, and your junkie cousin...they all stole from poor, smart PORSHA!
You are always scamming, Bitch, you ain't tired?
So, let's hear it, what happened this time? Keep in mind dummy, no one knows where you are, what apartment complex you were applying to, so this had better be juicy!!!!!!!
Girl you need HELP!!!!!

Last week's post https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bbkvb6/roundup_ufos_and_aaro_report_2024_volume_1/
Archive https://web.archive.org/web/20240310205854/https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bbkvb6/roundup_ufos_and_aaro_report_2024_volume_1/
Moon phase new moon 🌚
.1 https://old.reddit.com/space/comments/1bbofj6/satellite_or_ufo/ photo, nighttime sky, single light object, yellow 🟡, twolights or barbell shape , removed by mods
.2 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bbrno8/my_uap_experience2013/ sighting description, nighttime, at home, backyard, moving star, circling, It was going around and around in a circle., physical effects heart started skipping., witness waved at it, looked away and looked back, vanished, repeat visitor or second object, approach, flew overhead
.3 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bc0tow/anyone_know_what_this_could_be/ video, daytime sky, Council bluffs Iowa, single light object, elongated, horizontal orientation, tictac, downvoted to zero, OP comments downvoted, big debunker energy, electronic effects Canon camera wouldn’t work., two witnesses , low over treeline
.4 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bbzap1/saw_this_over_my_job_in_georgia_with_a_coworke video, nighttime sky, urban area, at work, two witnesses, observed moving and stationary, low over rooftop, crescent 🌙 and was blinking from front to back in a sequence. , electronic effects camera can't detect it, Georgia, downvoted to zero, single object multiple lights, flashing in sequence, red 🔴
.5 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bbv0r9/what_is_this/ video, from car, single light object, orange 🟠, trail, video shows trail vanishing, vanishing, contemporaneous report, urban area, Los Angeles California, nighttime, elongated, angled from the horizon
.6 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1baxdm7/encounters_with_strange_large_headed_entities/ sighting description, entities, repeat visitors, They vary from black to grey and matte in color, they stand around 7 feet tall, and have large black or sometimes luminous eyes, between 2 and 6 of them. These beings watch, seem to run experiments, show up in dreams to do psychological mischief, show up in locations that are supposedly haunted, etc. ,
.7 https://old.reddit.com/BackwoodsCreepy/comments/1bbpfay/river_flowsup_stream/ sighting description, two witnesses, single light object, red 🔴, near water, small creek that flows into Lake Superior, nighttime, fishing, approach, witness followed it, It looks as if it's right there then as you move to it it appears far away., location anomaly, river flowing backward
.8 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bc6o3s/all_the_relevant_uap_updates_from_march_410/ information, state of disclosure
.9 https://old.reddit.com/AliensAndUFOs/comments/1bbwd00/what_is_this_ufo/ video, daytime cloudy sky, single light object moving erratically, flashing erratically, red and white 🔴⚪️, moving and stationary and moving, trajectory change, U-turn, jumpy movements, low over rooftop,
.10 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/1bc55ct/possibly_the_first_document_actually_leaked_from/ document, area 51, excerpt of logbook, supposedly leaked to the OP, Stanton Howe, worked for a sub-contractor for Lockheed and that is who got him onto Groom Lake., the entire log book, now sits with the United States Congress for further examination and disclosure.
.11 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bc8diq/seen_in_the_midwest_yesterday_wi/ video, nighttime sky, from car, single object multiple lights, green blue red white 🟢🔵🔴⚪️, contemporaneous report , flashing, stationary, Wisconsin , low over treeline , mimicking airplane, similar sighting in comments
.12 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bc9lpw/i_took_the_photos/ photos, daytime cloudy sky, cloud anomaly, dark triangle shape
.13 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bchjk7/triangle_okc_ok_last_friday_timelapse_iphone_15/ video, nighttime sky, Oklahoma city Oklahoma, threelights, triangle formation, moving slowly, near water, hottub, lake Arcadia, similar sightings in comments, [GOODPOST] https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bci5i7/better_edit_maybe_triangle_okc/ different edit
.14 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bcglr4/has_anyone_seem_this_type/ sighting description, has anyone seen?, urban area Morris County New Jersey, single dark object, cube shaped, black ⬛️, witness drove under it
.15 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bcidgl/anyone_know_what_this_is_and_no_its_not_a/ photos, daytime sky, single light object, elongated, trail, vertical orientation, duration 3 minutes, three witnesses, big debunker energy, OP deleted, lost data
.16 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bcj8q3/what_is_this/ video, daytime sky, single light object, elongated, diffuse trail, vertical orientation, vertical trajectory, three objects observed, downvoted to zero, OP comments downvoted, big debunker energy, northeast USA, contemporaneous report
.17 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bczdyt/spotted_charleston_wv/ photos, nighttime sky, single light object, urban area, Charleston West Virginia, contemporaneous report
.18 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bcym9h/are_ufos_real_sullivan_county_democrat/ news article, upstate new York state, interviews with several witnesses, historical and ongoing, near water, animal anomaly missing cattle, flying saucer, low over ridgeline, flew overhead. , single light object, near water, brook
.19 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1bclbvcaught_last_night_on_an_alpha_a7_sony_on_a_tripod/ video, nighttime sky, single light object, possibly rotating or flashing in sequence, flareup and dimming, Green river Wyoming, repeat visitors, emotion of fear, previously witness left the area, [GOODPOST]
.20 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bd0yr4/seen_march112024_anaheimca/ video, daytime sky, contemporaneous report, from car, urban area, Anaheim California, powerlines, possible metallic sphere, single object blackwhite, possibly pacing car, Goodyear blimp?
.21 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/1bcl0as/pairs_of_lights_in_michigan_skies/ sighting description, contemporaneous report, nighttime, rural Genesee county in mid Michigan, at home, nighttime, twolights, flying in formation, flashing erratically, one following another, repeat three times, two witnesses, perception discrepancy, other witness observed planes
.22 https://old.reddit.com/GlitchInTheMatrix/comments/1bd0pdf/i_live_in_the_us_and_i_have_just_experienced_a/ experience description, no craft, contemporaneous report, flash of darkness, multiple witnesses, daytime, Allegheny County Pennsylvania, animal reaction birds went quiet, physical effects we all started feeling cold., temperature change
.23 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1bco3rm/greys_use_golden_ball_on_me/ experience description, entities, I was in someone else’s body, our minds were linked and I knew him like I knew myself., repeat visitor, several times the greys have visited me, they make a copy of me and do things to it., single light object, metallic sphere, small golden sphere that vibrates and hums as it hovers over me., has anyone seen?
.24 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bd480w/oaxaca_object_flies_beneath_drone/ video, daytime sky, from drone, single light object moving fast and straight, Oaxaca Mexico 🇲🇽, similar sighting in comments
.25 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bd5wqq/taken_in_chile_12_march/ photos, daytime cloudy sky, contemporaneous report, from airplane, over Santiago Chile 🇨🇱, single dark object, elongated, horizontal orientation, possible disk shape, low over ridgeline , possible trajectory perpendicular to length
.25 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1bcdl9g/an_unknown_man_keeps_walking_through_my_dreams/ dream description, entity, humanoid, repeat visitor, Old, extremely old. His face is wrinkled and gnarled to the point where it didn’t actually look like a real face. He had thin patches of scraggly grey hair and tiny teeth, presumably worn down. His nose was large and round and his whole complexion in general seemed beaten up and worn out. He was wearing a thick black pullover hoodie, black cargo trousers and thick black workman boots., has anyone seen?, looked up at me with an expression that said “oh sh*t, he can see me” and for a moment we locked eyes. I’ve never seen eyes that blue before, similar sightings in comments
.26 https://old.reddit.com/space/comments/1bdaidv/betlegeuse_explosion/ Betelgeuse finna pop
.27 https://old.reddit.com/Thetruthishere/comments/1bd62pd/my_dads_driving_story/ experience description, family story, father, location anomaly from car, two witnesses, Elkton Maryland, 5 seconds later they were “on the other side of the canal” in Delaware. Which was about 30 minutes away from the road they were on which made no sense. https://old.reddit.com/Thetruthishere/comments/1bd5vy3/40_years_ago_dover_delaware_traffic_stopped_to/ same OP, same father, different event, single dark object, three witnesses, from car, witness stopped the car and got out, near USAF, Dover Delaware which is home to Dover Air Force Base., looked like “the Batmobile” just floating there stationary, duration a minute or 2. And then just flew off.
.28 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bdap5t/saw_a_little_white_dot_moving_in_the_sky/ sighting description, moving star, reaction to being observed, vanishing, daytime, contemporaneous report, southborough Massachusetts
.29 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1bdiaq4/i_got_to_go_to_the_unveiling_of_two_more_nazca/ experience description, news event, OP attended the nazca mummies presentation,
.30 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bdchcu/saw_this_last_night_while_driving_looked_too_big/ video, nighttime sky, from car, twolights, close formation, contemporaneous report
.31 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bdebpa/unusual_aerial_activity/ photos, downvoted to zero, nighttime sky, Manassas Virginia, two witnesses, fourlights, disk shape with dome, 4 different saucer shaped crafts just hovering in place. , stationary, physical effects paralysis, transfixed, witness looked away and looked back, vanished possible military response jets, similar sighting in comments, OP comments downvoted, [GOODPOST]
.32 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bdhpjl/old_picture_from_fall_of_1987/ photo, daytime sky, single dark object, sphere, smaller object accompanying it, low over ridgeline, near water, lake county harbin hot springs California, not seen by eye, downvoted to zero
.33 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bdilv7/what_the_hell_did_i_just_see/ sighting description, contemporaneous report, urban area, St George Utah, at home, single light object, blue 🔵, moving erratically, nighttime cloudy sky, witness followed it, stepped out to see what the hell it was, approach, overhead, silent, moving fast, similar sightings in comments, felt observed, physical effects shaking, duration 5 minutes,
.34 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bdj0zx/sheehan_nhi_script_analysis/ original analysis, possible alien writing https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/15i43ifor_those_who_asked_symbolic_messages_an/ Book, symbolic messages: an introduction to alien writing
.35 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bdjqoz/seeing_a_ufo_uap_is_a_curse/ sighting description and discussion of stigma, two witnesses, urban area, Glendale California, nighttime, single light object, The light appeared to be saucer shaped, only the bottom of the craft was illuminated, near airport, silent, sudden departure, zigzag movement it's been a curse. I replay the event so many times in my thoughts, similar sightings in comments, [GOODPOST)
.36 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bdxyee/blue_color_ufo_reports_a_collection/ my collection, reports of blue 🔵 color
.37 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1be15re/i_woke_up_and_saw_this_at_around_6am_near_toronto/ photo, nighttime cloudy sky, contemporaneous report, at home, outside bedroom window, single light object, shape change observed, triangular then square then an orb, over water lake Ontario, urban area, near Toronto Ontario Canada 🇨🇦 , observed stationary and moving, apathy, witness went to sleep https://old.reddit.com/use27butterflyhardtrack/comments/1be173x/thingy/ video, flashing
.38 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1be1q0n/sighting_in_upstate_new_york/ video, nighttime sky, fleet, repeat visitors, contemporaneous report, upstate new York state, formation change, similar sightings in comments, dancing, U-shaped
.39 https://old.reddit.com/Thetruthishere/comments/1be1p1y/creepy_story_from_my_childhood/ childhood experience description, entity, humanoid, at home, inside bedroom, Wrinkled wort riddled face with long nose and rotting teeth. It never spoke but did manage to pull me off my bed and under it. , grabbed ankle, witness felt pulled
.40 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1bdmqnu/weird_encounter_with_human_like_extraterrestrial/ dream description, entity, humanoid, odor, All of them produce this very strong musky like smell from every part of their bodies including their breath. The smell was like nothing I smelt before very raw and almost chemical.,
.41 https://old.reddit.com/signalidentification/comments/1bdsorl/unid_satellite/ signal anomaly, contemporaneous report, Trondheim Norway 🇳🇴, repeat visitor https://old.reddit.com/signalidentification/comments/1bf8zew/weird_signal_seem_to_be_meaningful_but_dont_know/ different OP, different event, signal anomaly, possible conversation, making a sound just like ask-and-answer.
.42 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1be4enq/encenotas_ca_light_orb_january_2024/ video, nighttime cloudy sky, urban area, Encinitas California, single light object, stationary or moving slowly, over water pacific ocean, appeared out of nowhere, approach, emotion of fear, flew overhead, structure observed, looked like an undercarriage of some kind of craft i’ve never seen. the lights on the underside were glowing pink.
.43 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1be5o1t/the_search_for_state_airgram_a6343_dated_july/ seeking information, Airgram A-6343
.44 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bee3v5/tic_tac_ufo_sydney_australia_12mar2024/ video, daytime cloudy sky, at home, single light object, elongated, tictac, moving straight, urban area, Sydney Australia 🇦🇺, contemporaneous report, horizontal trajectory, OP comments downvoted, silent
.45 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1beoa7o/strange_shapeshifting_craft_spotted/ photos, nighttime sky, single light object, contemporaneous report, single light object, observed stationary and moving erratically, multicolored, shape change observed, proceeded to change shape and started producing and green and yellow aura 🟢🟡, smaller objects accompany it, photos show color change, blue and red 🔵🔴, near Shenandoah Virginia
.46 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bee282/similar_experience_near_dugway_proving_ground_ut/ sighting description, near Dugway Proving Ground Utah, camping, nighttime, single light object moving fast and straight, trail, low over ridgeline, illuminated sky, fireball?
.47 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1be3g8u/is_it_a_plane/ sighting description and videos, downvoted to zero, at home, outside window, urban area, Moscow Russia 🇷🇺, low over rooftop, single light object moving slowly, multicolored, red and blue 🔴🔵, [GOODPOST]
.48 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1be92lc/the_strange_lights_are_back/ video, nighttime sky, contemporaneous report, repeat visitors, Asheville north Carolina, single light object, multicolored
.49 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1beolva/ufo_sighting/ sighting description, contemporaneous report, nighttime, single light object, red 🔴, moving fast, urban area, Cologne Germany 🇩🇪 , erratic trajectory , downvoted to zero in 20 minutes
.50 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1benatw/star_ufo_drone/ sighting description, contemporaneous report, at home, outside window, single light object, nighttime cloudy sky, possible reaction to being observed, vanishing, Quickly thinking, I said to myself, it's not a star, it's cloudy. Then 10 seconds later it went out completely., south America.
.51 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/1bemsou/red_glowing_objects_in_sky/ sighting description, contemporaneous report, nighttime, from car, van, multiple objects, three witnesses, red 🔴, appeared out of nowhere, nighttime, Sanford Arizona, similar sightings in comments
.52 https://old.reddit.com/StrangeEarth/comments/1be9mf3/trail_cam_takes_a_pic_every_night_at_the_exact/ photos, from trail camera, no craft, electronic effects motion detection, red light 🔴, illuminating trees, repeat visitor, Bedford Pennsylvania, contemporaneous report
.53 https://old.reddit.com/RBI/comments/1be98a3/drone_following_me_and_my_mom_for_2_years/ sighting description and photos, single dark object, two witnesses, followed the witness, mother, repeat visitor, photos show single light object
.54 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bevhwg/help_me_understand_ufo_flying_at_fixed_interval/ video, nighttime sky, twolights, close formation, flashing, low below treeline, urban area, Bengaluru India 🇮🇳, repeat three times, strobing red and white color lights.,
.55 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1beqn92/can_anyone_help_me_figure_out_what_ive_captured/ video, nighttime sky, time lapse, twolights, stationary, Big Bend Texas
.56 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1berq9w/sighting_i_had_more_than_a_decade_ago_still/ sighting description and reference video, Belo Horizonte Brazil 🇧🇷 , nighttime, brief duration 15-30 seconds, two witnesses, at home, light shining in bedroom, audio description annoying sound keeps echoing in my head, hitting my skull like a nail, single light object, outside window, oval-shaped, odor of familiar 'metallic' phantom smell that a concussion would cause in me., emotion of fear, witnesses went to sleep, event amnesia , [GOODPOST]
.57 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bf3z76/lights_over_winder_ga_this_morning/ sighting description, contemporaneous report, at home, nighttime, Winder Georgia, near airport, twolights, one bright one dim, low over horizon, witness looked away and looked back, brightness change, departing, moving in an arc getting dimmer until they just vanished., curved trajectory, It was the first time space actually looked like it had depth to me., has anyone seen?
.58 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bfac08/tel_aviv_315_today_looked_much_weirder_up_close/ sighting description and video, daytime cloudy sky, contemporaneous report, urban area, Tel Aviv Israel 🇮🇱, at home, outside window, single dark object, looked straight up like a black rip in the fabric of the universe around it, stationary, reaction to being observed, moving, shape change, possibly rotating, horizontal trajectory, low over rooftop
.59 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bf9fzn/same_ufo_in_israel_and_usa/ video, daytime cloudy sky, single light object, lighting configuration change to twolights, possible smaller objects accompany it, circling, Ramat-Gan Israel 🇮🇱
.60 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bff3bo/3_lights_in_sky/ sighting description and reference image, threelights, triangle formation, nighttime, Florida, apathy in other witnesses, stationary, witness looked away and looked back, vanished
.61 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bffeff/i_witnessed_4_blue_objects_move_west_to_east/ sighting description, contemporaneous report, fourlights, blue 🔵, fleet, one following another, urban area, Sydney Australia 🇦🇺, silent, self-debunk starlink
.62 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bfhfn3/did_anyone_here_had_close_encounter_of_second/ discussion of sightings
.63 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1bf4ao1/uap_on_big_island/ video, nighttime sky, twolights, one bright one dim , contemporaneous report, at home, kona big island Hawaii, previous human initiated contact, camping, repeat visitors, low over treeline, powerlines, one stationary and one moving, descending at an angle
.64 https://old.reddit.com/Thetruthishere/comments/1bfboq2/an_actual_witch_baltic_paganism_ussr_1975/ experience description, entity, family story, girlfriend's father, 1975 on the border of Lithuanian and Latvian Soviet Socialist Republic, USSR, luring, two witnesses, emotion of fear in other witness, witnesses left the area, the feast according to the friend, was called a ritual of "Calling", these events happened around September to October, and the region was called Plateliai. The friend also called this man a "Witcher".
.65 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1bf5q1b/captured_near_indianapolis_03152024_can_someone/ video, nighttime cloudy sky, diffuse lights moving, spotlights type, contemporaneous report, near Indianapolis Indiana,
.66 https://old.reddit.com/StrangeEarth/comments/1bf67a3/may_have_filmed_a_ufo_while_on_a_road_trip/ video, daytime cloudy sky, from car, single dark object moving fast, not seen by eye, death valley California,
.67 https://old.reddit.com/StrangeEarth/comments/1bf22w2/green_circling_lights_in_the_sky/ video, nighttime cloudy sky, urban area, Noblesville Indiana, storm, lightning, diffuse lights moving, spotlights type, observed green 🟢,
.68 https://old.reddit.com/AnomalousEvidence/comments/1bex8ka/something_weird_happened_in_fairborn_ohio/ experience description, Fairborn Ohio, nighttime, anomalous silence, two witnesses, single dim object, looked like a giant amoeba it was transparent that way. The way it turned it just hurts my brain to think about but there was lights in it and there were other dark objects around it., possible men in black response, emotion of fear in other witness, physical effects illness, I was very sick after that my legs swelled up really big I had a fever. And I had unexplainable scabs all over my face and blisters. , electronic effects video deleted, [GOODPOST], USAF, near Wright Patterson air force base, similar sightings in comments
.69 https://old.reddit.com/GlitchInTheMatrix/comments/1bfijqt/whats_this/ photo, daytime cloudy sky, single light object, elongated, contrail type, angled from the horizon, low over treeline
.70 ➡️ https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bfpdvv/have_you_ever_personally_seen_a_ufo/ sighting description and discussion of sightings, physical effects goosebumps, from car, single light object, orange 🟠, oval-shaped, appeared out of nowhere, directly in front, stationary, possible reaction to being observed, sudden departure , [GOODPOST], Canada 🇨🇦 , similar sightings in comments
.71 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1bfp312/figure_on_security_camera/ video, from home security camera, single dark shadow, moving slowly, low over ground , electronic effects motion detection
.72 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bfox3e/any_explanations_what_these_lights_are/ video, nighttime sky, multiple objects, fleet, White lights of varying brightness, all coming down out of the sky very slowly at 45 degree angles. , triangle formation observed, repeat visitors, urban area, Toronto Ontario Canada 🇨🇦, low over rooftop, over water Humber River, descending at an angle
.73 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bfricp/my_ufo/ video, daytime cloudy sky, single light object moving fast, trajectory change observed, right angle turns, downvoted to zero in 1 hour, OP comments downvoted
.74 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bfs78n/one_of_my_buddies_who_is_really_into_ufos_thinks/ experience description, friend of OP, abduction, entities, drawing of symbols, nighttime, contemporaneous report, possible debunker having a LARP
.75 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bftuqk/weird_light_in_the_sky_nassauparadise_island/ photos and video, nighttime cloudy sky, diffuse blue light 🔵, stationary or moving slowly, multiple witnesses, contemporaneous report, happening at time of posting, Nassau the Bahamas 🇧🇸, duration 20+ minutes, multiple witnesses https://old.reddit.com/VirginiaBeach/comments/13x4v2j/weird_blue_light_in_the_sky/ different OP, different event
.76 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bfwx9m/uapufo_over_phoenix_march_14th_around_midnight/ video and photos, nighttime cloudy sky, threelights, triangle formation, low over rooftop, at home, urban area, Phoenix Arizona, fleet, They came out in sets of 3. , orange 🟠, contemporaneous report, plane for comparison, similar sightings in comments, silent, [GOODPOST]
.77 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bg1fw5/two_very_fast_objects_in_the_sky/ video, nighttime sky, twolights, flying in formation, moving fast, through phosphor monocular scope, two witnesses , contemporaneous report, Hillsboro Missouri
.78 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bg3yksaw_this_in_delco_thursday_night/ video, nighttime sky, at home, near airport, Delaware County Pennsylvania, single light object moving straight, satellite?
.79 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bg5qpm/brazilian_congressional_hearing_on_ufos_2022_book/ document, transcript, Brazil congressional uap hearing
.80 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bg7wzt/tuscon_az/ photo, nighttime sky, urban area, Tucson Arizona, stationary, possible reaction to being filmed, moving, at home, outside window, OP comments downvoted, single object multiple lights, yellow and white ⚪️🟡⚪️, butterfly 🦋 , angular, low over rooftop, [GOODPOST], duration 10 seconds
.81 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bgav6y/i_cant_tell_you_what_they_were_but_im_sure_there/ sighting description, picayune Mississippi, at work, from car, unusual route, nighttime, bad feeling, fog, two witnesses, emotion of fear, single dark object, low over treeline, shadow that's larger than the 3500 Duramax we were driving, foggy green 🟢 smoke, audio description humming or buzzing like electricity, physical effects paralysis, frozen, entities, deathly skinny, standing on two legs, blacker than any animal I've ever seen!
.82 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/1bgbr88/what_on_earth_was_this_thing_drifting_off_the/ photo, daytime sky, possible structure, low over horizon, over water pacific ocean, San Francisco California, contemporaneous report, single dark object or cloud anomaly
.83 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bgcsy3/at_the_45_second_mark_something_flies_near_the/ video, nighttime sky, contemporaneous report, at home, single dark object moving fast https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bgiy8b/reupload_i_recorded_a_possible_ufo_while_watching/ reposted
.84 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bgddwg/saw_some_similar_posts_here_seen_in_2021/ photo, nighttime cloudy sky, diffuse blue light 🔵, Pacific Northwest, stationary
.85 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bgds1i/saw_something_strange_this_morning_dharamshala_hp/ video, daytime cloudy sky, single light object moving straight, horizontal trajectory, possibly rotating, haze, low over ridgeline, powerlines, urban area, Dharamshala India 🇮🇳, contemporaneous report
.86 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bgdgvj/flashing_lights_and_red_cloud/ video, nighttime cloudy sky, cloud anomaly, diffuse red light 🔴, flashing, descending slowly, low over rooftop, urban area, Lisbon Portugal 🇵🇹 , contemporaneous report, previously observed fleet, moving, flashing, two witnesses
.87 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bgb38l/what_is_this/ photos, daytime sky downvoted to zero, Worcester Massachusetts, single light object, repeat visitor, previously observed red and green 🔴🟢, photos show dimming, jumpy movement observed, This one appeared to be going POOF and teleporting around., metallic sphere, has anyone seen?
.88 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bgfxie/my_experience_obe_and_ufo_phenomenon_connections/ experience description, no craft, I had an out of body experience, from boat, daytime, over water, canal in France 🇫🇷, two witnesses, felt pulled upward, physical effects paralysis, frozen, family history, mother, suddenly was lifted up into the air and spun around really fast like the spinning blades of a helicopter
.89 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bgga3i/ufo_filmed_over_canada/ video, nighttime sky, contemporaneous report, single light object moving slowly, low over rooftop, duration 20 minutes, silent, Ontario Canada 🇨🇦, near water, lake Ontario
.90 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bgkacf/when_i_was_in_5th_grade_i_touched_two_colored/ childhood sighting description, twolights, red and blue 🔴🔵, playing, they started to jump back and forth, dodging me trying to frantically grab them
.91 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bgeh07/ufo_spotted_over_knoxville_airport/ photo, daytime sky, single light object, near airport, urban area, Knoxville Tennessee, smaller object accompanying it, red 🔴,circling, After it completed the circuit below the object it would go above the object and repeat the movements., pulsating, haze, at work, downvoted to zero , plane for comparison observed
.92 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bgvh8u/i_saw_this_bluish_purple_in_biloxi_22924/ photo, nighttime cloudy sky, diffuse blue light 🔵, urban area, Biloxi Mississippi,
.93 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1bgsh6e/can_someone_please_identify_this_meteorological/ video, daytime cloudy sky, single light object, low over rooftop, Lubango Angola 🇦🇴 ,
.94 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1bge609/possible_ghost_captured/ photo, inside building, possible entity, Croatia 🇭🇷
.95 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1bgxaj3/can_anyone_identify/ photos, daytime sky, duration 45 minutes, Proctorville Ohio, single light object, yellow 🟡, through telescope, moving slowly, at home, three witnesses, trajectory change, right angle turn, approach, flew overhead, Watched it slowly elevate even higher and then continue in its original direction., torus shape inside of a golden electric looking color. https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1bh0mpy/forgot_i_had_this_too/ video
.96 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1bgib2b/ufo_filmed_over_canada_last_night_in_4k/ video, nighttime sky, single light object, moving erratically observed, contemporaneous report, duration 30 minutes, Canada 🇨🇦
.97 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/1bguwm8/what_is_this/ photo, nighttime sky, single object multiple lights, possible butterfly 🦋, 🟡⚪️
.98 https://old.reddit.com/StrangeEarth/comments/1bgne0e/something_i_saw_crossing_the_moon_recorded_with/ video, through telescope, single dark object, traversing the face of the moon, possible jumpy movements, possible speed change, trajectory change
.99 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bh3f6h/uap_sighting_in_san_diego_over_the_ocean/ video, nighttime sky, urban area, San Diego California, over water pacific ocean, single object multiple lights, merging and splitting, multiple lights colliding and coming into some kind of cube structure then pulling out into multiple lights mostly red and or white in color 🔴⚪️, fleet observed, contemporaneous report, at home, outside window, duration 30 minutes, video shows single light object, flickering, possible jumpy movement, possible shape change, possible portal observed, at one point they were all zooming around each and opening a kind of portal looking thing
.100 https://old.reddit.com/telescopes/comments/1bgmrbi/what_did_i_capture_transiting_the_moon/ photos, single object multiple lights or twolights, traversing the face of the moon, contemporaneous report, through telescope, Seattle Washington, moving fast, duration 1.5 seconds, [GOODPOST]
.101 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1bgzumk/is_this_a_satellite/ video, nighttime sky, single light object moving slowly, low over rooftop
.102 https://old.reddit.com/AliensAndUFOs/comments/1bgxvmo/aliens_birds_or_electromagnetic_waves/ video and audio, nighttime sky, Czech 🇨🇿 republic, two witnesses, threelights, low over ground, We spotted two/three dots of light in the middle of a field., audio description sounded almost like some Sci-Fi sounds, those where you tune your walkie talkie or some radio/electromagnetic waves satelite, witness threw a stick at it, approach, emotion of fear, witness left the area, [GOODPOST]
.103 https://old.reddit.com/RBI/comments/1bgq04jade_egg/ possible artifact, possible related disappearance, jade color egg the size of an ostrich egg, the pastor has never been seen again. He just disappeared along with the egg.
.104 https://old.reddit.com/Thetruthishere/comments/1bgn8a3/i_thought_i_saw_jupiter_moving_thursday_night/ sighting description, Jupiter anomaly, moving, nighttime, single light object, appeared out of nowhere, zigzag movements, , it went up and down in a little zag until it found its place and stayed put., moving and stationary,
.105 https://old.reddit.com/Glitch_in_the_Matrix/comments/1bbpfyv/what_happened_that_night/ experience description, two witnesses, camping, event amnesia, missing time, location anomaly, when I woke up I was in bed at home, the last thing we remembered was that we were going to sleep in the tent., near Bello Antioquia Colombia 🇨🇴
.106 https://old.reddit.com/Glitch_in_the_Matrix/comments/1bc0iw7/running_in_reverse/ experience description, entity, humanoid, running backward, nighttime, two witnesses, from car, Carolina, structure anomaly, I notice an overpass/bridge that I don’t remember being there., witness drove under it, vanished
.107 https://old.reddit.com/Glitch_in_the_Matrix/comments/1bcvk7u/flock_of_black_birds_disappea sighting description, fleet, plane for comparison observed, daytime sky, vanishing and reappearing, formation change, did different formations and kept repeating this tornado type maneuver, duration 1 minute, vanishing
.108 https://old.reddit.com/Glitch_in_the_Matrix/comments/1be1e13/mystery_car_going_down_my_driveway_disappeared/ sighting description, nighttime, twolights, two witnesses in home, low over ground, approach
.109 https://old.reddit.com/Glitch_in_the_Matrix/comments/1bf57wy/glowing_green_dome_in_yard/ sighting description, single light object, green 🟢, at home, two witnesses, illuminating surroundings, silent, duration 2 seconds, apathy in other witnesses, 10 ft by 10 ft green dome right at the chain link fence, reminded me of a Dragon Ball Z energy ball. It didn't look solid.
.110 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bh78c3/black_uap_changing_shapes_as_it_silently_passed/ video, daytime sky, single dark object, shape change observed, flew overhead, santaquin Utah, metapod type
.111 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1bh5wiy/took_this_in_white_sands_nm_me_and_a_buddy_on_the/ photo, daytime sky, possible entity, single dark object, humanoid
.112 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1bh8biy/i_just_filmed_this_30_minutes_ago/ video, nighttime cloudy sky, diffuse white lights moving, spotlights type, contemporaneous report, France 🇫🇷

1. On Leather Wings - 3/5 (Pretty dull. I am not a fan of Batman's voice. It's... Very odd. But from all I've seen of Batman it has been comically deep and grovely. I like the music and the visuals of the intro though)
2. Christmas with the Joker - 3/5 (What's keeping the candy canes in the victims mouths? More of a throwaway thought, but I really have nothing much to say about this, only that Batman getting a pie in the face was funny. Robin is in this, but he is very dull and uninteresting)
3. Nothing to Fear - 3/5 (The epic "I am Batman" speech coming in already, I see. Scarecrow's mask sucks)
4. The Last Laugh - 4/5 (Alfred "drawing" a bath made me chuckle. I love this guy. I also like the action stuff in the second half of the episode a lot, for once. But seriously, two episodes in a row with the main threat being a dangerous gas?)
5. Pretty Poison - 5/5 (I feel I enjoyed this more because it actually featured Bruce as a character. I want to see a little more of his personal life and his feelings to grow a connection to him instead of just watching him stop Joker cuz good beats bad. This gives me that with his friend Harvey poisoned. Even though I know what will happen too him... Though I can't say it's any worse, since he's already an ugly mofo. Plus, Poison Ivy is cool)
6. The Underdwellers - 4/5 (Batman really got pissed at that dude who was using children as slaves. I liked that. This was effed up)
7. P.O.V. - 4/5 (I'm not even sure what the plot here is. It's just about these 3 police workers and their retelling of their encounter with Batman in an exploding building. No idea what the bad guys were even trying to do. And Batman doesn't kill, but he could have easily done so to those two guys in the boat when he drove the forklift into it)
8. The Forgotten - 4/5 (He gets amnesia from one whack on the head? Come on... Alfred stealthing and coming to the rescue is the highlight of this, too bad it's really only like, 2 scenes)
9. Be a Clown - 3/5 (Joker SHOULD be interesting, but this is his third episode and so far he really isn't that note worthy. Nothing spectacular about this episode)
10/11. Two-Face - 5/5 (Definitely the GOAT episode so far. I wish they would have spent some more episodes actually showing Harvey and Bruce as friends, so this would have a little more impact. But, I still really love it. Two-Face's scarred half is a bit disappointing though. Like, why is it blue? Why is his eye bigger? And why is his lip just extended? It should have looked more gruesome than cartoony. He also seemed to have no problem utilizing the accident with his aestethic with that half black and white suit. I love how it focuses mostly on Harvey Dent and his story as opposed to Batman. Seeing his slow descent into madness teased with random bursts of rage, having to go to therapy, but a freak accident leading to his rage fully taking over is... Tragic, but epic)
12. It's Never Too Late - 4/5 (That's some sick animation of the train emerging from the smoke. Especially for a cel animated show. I enjoyed how slow and dramatic this one, although the show still suffers from the fact that they do these for characters I haven't even gotten to know yet)
13. I've Got Batman in My Basement - 4/5 (I've heard this episode is disliked, but it's actually pretty good. I thought it was amusing alone to see two kids care for Batman while he was incapacitated. What the actual fuck is wrong with Penguin's hands though?)
14. Heart of Ice - 4/5 (Mr. Freeze is genuinely creepy. I like his voice, and the cold effect inside his helment is impressive for a cel animated show, even though since it is just that, it's very choppy when he moves. I've heard Mr. Freeze's backstory was supposed to be so awesome and emotional... It's a sad backstory, but the execution isn't exactly done in a way that makes it feel like one of the most sympathetic worthy villains ever. Especially since he shows no remorse for leaving his own men and killing several people. Harvey Dent in the Two-Face episode definitely fits that description better. Ferris Boyle's blue eyes are very out of place)
15/16. The Cat and the Claw - 4/5 (First time we see Batman directly in contact with Commissioner Gordon. Neat, I'm sure he's enjoying the free manpower. I can't believe Bruce instantly climaxed and simped for some boring regular looking chick. Even her assistant is more appealing. Not to mention her; She fell in love with a man in a mask upon meeting and fighting him briefly like, two times)
17. See No Evil - 4/5 (Why does the episode try to paint LLoyd Ventrix as the bad guy? Batman doesn't even try his usual "I can help you" thing. He just wants to beat him up and then smugly add that he will spend 10 - 20 years in prison. Obviously he went pretty mental from the poisoning but the guy just wanted to be with his daughter, and even she didn't want to see him...)
18. Beware the Gray Ghost - 3/5 (Gray Ghost, a fictional crime fighting superhero that Bruce used to admire as a kid, is voiced by Adam West. Subtle reference much? It's funny how dated this is, what with Bruce having to go to some nerdy video store to find a TV show. Even then, Gray Ghost seemed to have been popular enough to get a ton of merchandise made, so how could the episodes be literally unfindable? And why did Simon Trent run at the sight of Batman if he was innocent? Bruce also literally just told him that he was Batman. Pretty bold move)
19. Prophecy of Doom - 2/5 (This is... Boring. But Bruce smugly pretending to be a believer was amusing at the very least)
20/21. Feat of Clay - 5/5 (I really love how Hagen's transformation into Clayface has a logical explanation behind it. Needing a face softening cream to reshape it to look good, but with permanent softening side effects. Being force fed it by the end, causing his entire body to soften up and "melt" into nothing but a brown, creamy substance. Which still isn't clay, but it does kinda look like it, and it makes for an iconic name. I also appreciate how powers don't just work flawlessly. He really has to use his muscles to morph, and when he relaxes he becomes himself again. Every single bit of animation with him in it is gorgeous to look at. They really went all out with this one. Side note, I really enjoyed that scene where Batman threatening the guy with the virus vial on the shelf above him. Lol)
22. Joker's Favor - 5/5 (Finally a good Joker episode. I like how his only purpose is to create chaos cause he thinks it's funny. He has this very creepy and threatening way of speaking without being directly aggressive. "Now look, my rude friend, we can't have people cursing at each on the freeway. It's simply not polite". It's great because you know what a cold blooded criminal he really is. Most of all I really enjoyed Charlie's story in this. Poor guy was dragged into Joker's shenanigans by accident, and Joker is so sick and twisted that he called him up years later just to have him do a menial task and kill him in the process for no other reason than as a joke. Charlie's sweet revenge by scaring the crap out of Joker with the bomb is a great and satisfying ending. Joker yelling for Batman's help. Lol)
23. Vendetta - 3/5 (The plot confused me a lot, until Batman himself explained Croc's story. Although reading it in retrospect, it seems pretty simple. It's just the show has a lot of generic characters who I really can't remember. It took me until seeing him to recall who Rupert Thorne was, so it's easy to get confused. Croc himself is pretty uninteresting and dull looking. Pass)
24. Fear of Victory - 3/5 (Wow, Robin is finally back. And he is barely interesting. At least he got to say "steady Dick". Scarecrow looks totally different, but I'm not big on this new design either. Both are pretty lame. If anything the first is better for it's simplicity. Neat little throwback, showing all the prisoners at Arkham. But it's still depressing that Harvey is there and Bruce hasn't even acknowledged his best friend)
25. The Clock King - 4/5 (Guy super obsessed with time alone was amusing to watch. Didn't care much when he went full villain mode though. Plus his voice is incredibly annoying. The plan to have Hamilton Hill crushed by the clock arrow is a bit weird. One arrow has to be behind the other to be able to pass, so it makes no sense they would be on the same level to bump into each other. Not to mention I can't imagine they press hard enough to crush a human)
26. Appointment in Crime Alley - 5/5 (Batman stopping a series of crimes. I especially liked the train action. Very cool stuff. Still going with these characters I don't know. I forgot entirely who Daggett is. And Batman curses out the two people working for him as if he knows them... As if I'm supposed to understand how Batman knew them previously. Oh well, at least the ending was sweet)
27. Mad as a Hatter - 2/5 (Mad Hatter sucks. And like 90% of the episode is just his attempt at trying to swoon a girl, who, both looks and talks as if she were a child. It was just boring, since he wasn't interesting at all. Alice in Wonderland: Batman Edition gets a hard pass from me. They lost me even more when, somehow, his electrical mind control enhances the strength of his victims because of course it does. Useles side note, did the fake teeth of a soft walrus suit just break through a wooden table?)
28. Dreams in Darkness - 4/5 (Scarecrow is out, again, in such a short timespan? Arkham has the worst damn security ever. And it's getting a bit dull how he just has the same plan every time... Make everyone hallucinate and get scared, because... Well, because! This sounds harsh even though I rated it high. It was negligible, since the GOAT parts was seeing Batman get taken to Arkham, and his hallucinations. He sure is lucky they didn't decide to take off his mask)
29. Eternal Youth - 4/5 (Alfred centered episode? Neat. I just love it when we get to see other people in the spotlight. I also find Bruce and Alfred's relationship so sweet. He isn't just "the butler", he is Bruce's friend... Hell, family, who's job just happens to be taking care of the home. I just love their dynamic)
30. Perchance to Dream - 4/5 (This was GOAT until it ended up being Mad Hatter behind it all. Like, why? What is Batman trying to stop you from doing? Last time you just tried to win over a girl. Unless you are planning to just go deeper into the criminal life, why is Batman a bother? Everything else about the episode is still cool. Seeing Bruce's reaction, and absolute breakdown to the situation and whatnot. Clever how they used the fact that you can't read in your dreams to prove that this was indeed a dream, though that was obvious regardless)
31. The Cape and Cowl Conspiracy - 3/5 (So I guess Bruce could just do a perfect impersonation of Wacklaw Josek's voice? And for a show that's trying to appear "old timey", a photorealistic hologram of a woman is pretty far fetched, even for 1992)
32/33. Robin's Reckoning - 5/5 (Wow it sure is fortunate in this construction site that there are platforms wherever Batman and Robin happen to push the goons off, so they don't fall to their deaths. Bruce spilling both his popcorn and drink was amusing. I really enjoyed Robin's backstory, makes his connection to Bruce much deeper and this episode alone makes him more of an interesting character than he has been before. I actually kinda enjoy him now. After all, I have read 0 Batman comics. BTAS is the only Batman lore I watch and care about, so whatever information the show expects me to have, it should give me, not expect me to have heard about it before)
34. The Laughing Fish - 3/5 (God that shot of "Batman" laughing with his mouth crazy wide open is cursed. How long can Bruce hold his breath for underwater? That was an insane amount of time, and unprepared, under pressure, with a SHARK)
35. Night of the Ninja - 2/5 (One of the most boring episodes I've seen. Kinda makes me regret how harsh I was towards Mad as Hatter. Ninja guy was boring, plot was boring, fight scene was boring. Snore)
36. Cat Scratch Fever - 4/5 (I really do not like seeing animals caged up and abused like that. If anything this just makes me hate Daggett even more. I thought the battle scene on the frozen lake was cool. That's about it for this one)
37. The Strange Secret of Bruce Wayne - 4/5 (Well now his identity is more safe than ever. None of the bad guys believed Batman is Bruce Wayne and Robin came in with a diguise that can somehow actually look like a real person, and perfectly imitate Bruce's voice. This is starting to become a recurring thing and it makes no sense)
38/39. Heart of Steel - 3/5 (This robot gal is pretty. As for the actual episode... It's just a generic "stone cold machine wants to get rid of humans cause humans make errors" plot, dragged out for longer than it really needed to be. This didn't need to be a double length episode. Not bad, but not particularly enticing)
40. If You're So Smart, Why Aren't You Rich? - 2/5 (Wow what an epic game! It doesn't look dated at all... The Riddler's origin and first appearance in the show. Didn't care for it. Dull)
41. Joker's Wild - 4/5 (Bruce secretly mocking Joker to his face is definitely the most amusing bit here. The scheme itself was also interesting. Sick Bugs Bunny cameo btw)
42. Tyger, Tyger - 3/5 (Wow, this is just like that Simpsons Treehouse of Horror segment! Tygrus is very creepy)
43. Moon of the Wolf - 3/5 (Another episode following the previous one of Batman again fighting an buff, black, ferile, humanoid animal who has feelings and doesn't actually want to hurt him? And one who needs to be cured, except in this episode they are in one. The ending was very sad, he stayed a werewolf forever?)
44. Day of the Samurai - 3/5 (The best thing about this episode is the scene where Batman and the ninja are fighting by the volcano and Batman just comically blocks his punches and slaps him. The ninja was not an interesting villain but I did like his ending)
45. Terror in the Sky - 3/5 (...ANOTHER episode where someone turns into an animal? I already didn't care much for the Manbat episode, but I did find this one interesting when it turned out it was actually Francine who had been infected)
46. Almost Got 'Im - 4/5 (When Harvey talked about how he's almost got Batman, I was just like "...WHEN?!" because since his debut episode he has literally had no major role as an adversary to Batman, which still annoys me because this is Bruce's old best friend, and that's STILL not acknowledged. His bank robbery and Batman coin-kill plan could have been an entire episode on it's own. I very much enjoyed Joker's insane scheme with the laugh-powered electric chair. Pretty clever and brutal)
47. Birds of a Feather - 3/5 (I guess seeing Penguin reform and give up a life of crime, even if only temporarily, is interesting. But the episode lost me when he immediately went all criminal again when he found out he was being made fun of)
48. What is Reality? - 3/5 (These are some pretty clever and advanced riddles and clues. Sadly I am so taken out of the moment when I see very dated concept of virtual reality, especially in a cel animated show)
49. I Am the Night - 5/5 (The Batman is depressed episode. Gives us a little more inside to his and Gordon's relationship, but seems a bit forced since we've never seen them do anything but talk about crime until Batman vanishes again. But I like it and how it focuses on Batman's mental exhaustion of his life, and how he's absolutely kicking himself over what happened)
50. Off Balance - 4/5 (Setup episode... We never actually find out what Vertigo was planning other than to steal the sonic drill, and then he loses it)
51. The Man Who Killed Batman - 4/5 (This dork is really trying to make it big in the criminal world? Silly. I mostly just liked the bits with Joker and Batman's funeral. I think this episode could have been better if we saw how other criminals and villains reacted to the news. Joker's sadness over it is amusing but he seemed to get over it pretty quickly)
52. Mudslide - 4/5 (Yikes, that scene where Clayface holds Batman inside his body and he's kicking everywhere is terrifying. I don't really agree with Batman's decision to interrupt the process, and in doing so, causing Matt his life. He may have stolen the isotopes, but they would have cured him. Why did Batman go to all that effort just to ruin the process, when he was offering to cure him already anyway?)
53. Paging the Crime Doctor - 5/5 (I just really admire the plot of this episode. There's no big crime going on, it's a personal family feud and someone close to Bruce himself at stake. This is the first time I ever see Matt Thorne but I can immediately sympathize with him, and wish the best for both him and Leslie. The ending when Bruce helped him out in return for stories of his dad is so sweet)
54. Zatanna - 2/5 (Is Bruce gay or something? There's an uber hot girl thirsting like crazy for him, and he just ditches and ghosts her. Well, moving on. Boring villain, boring plot)
55. The Mechanic - 4/5 (I love this stuff where they expand the world by showing us how Bruce actually gets all the things he needs to be Batman. In this case, the mechanic who builds and fixes his Batmobile. He's given the guy the job of a lifetime and it's just really sweet. Although it's weird that he doesn't question how Batman can afford to not only buy him an entire workshop alongside all the expensive necessary parts to make this incredibly elaborate car. As for the actual plot, it's fun. It's Penguin's best episode so far)
56. Harley and Ivy - 4/5 (Man, there's very little Batman in this episode up until the end. I do like seeing personal stories from the villains perspectives. Harley and Ivy is a fun matchup, and seeing the Joker become a wreck without Harley is amusing. Couldn't help but just giggle at the ending where they go on about how no man can stop them, then a female cop catches them)
57/58. Shadow of the Bat - 4/5 (Semi interesting mystery, and I like that Two-Face finally does something, but it's still disappointing how little he's actually in it. How does Gordon not recognize his daughter as the Batgirl? The shape of her face? The visible hair? The voice?? Side note, that crook's buck teeth look so ridiculous.
59. Blind as a Bat - 4/5 (Not a very spectacular episode, it just works for the gimmick of seeing Batman blind. Feels like Penguin is getting more to do than any other villain though)
60/61. The Demon's Quest - 3/5 (Gosh, the entire first half is pretty boring with Batman and Ra's Al Ghul finding Robin and Talia is kinda lame. And while the second half is more interesting, I find this a little too ridiculous of a scope for this series. Most episodes take place in Gotham and are relatively small scale to only a few characters, or at least the city. Now, the entire planet is in jeopardy? In the hands of an... Incredibly boring villain? Pass)
62. His Silicon Soul - 4/5 (These kind of existential questions about robots who are given a humans memories freak me out. I mean, he genuinely thought he was Bruce Wayne. Imagine waking up tomorrow and finding out you are a copy of who you think you are)
63. Fire from Olympus - 3/5 (Villain who thinks he is Zeus... Uh... Okay. I mean, he is kinda funny I'll give them that, especially him thinking Batman is Hades, and that Arkham is Olympus, because the criminals there sorta resembles gods)
64. Read My Lips - 4/5 (This one... Also has a stupid villain, but albeit a funny one too. The scene when he was arguing with the dummy is just great)
65. The Worry Men - 3/5 (That is some unusually smooth animation when Mad Hatter begins to tell how he did his scheme. Holy shit, Batman nearly got his head chopped off!
66. Sideshow - 4/5 (Ok, this is actually a great Killer Croc episode, unlike his pretty boring first one. The freaks are strange though. In the sense that, how is the big guy any more of a freak than Rhino from Read My Lips? He's just... Big. And the old guy just has a giant hunchback. Weird looking maybe, but not freak levels. Really liked Batman hunting down Croc, and Croc meeting the freaks)
67. A Bullet for Bullock - 3/5 (Batman and Bullock working together despite Bullock hating his guts is interesting enough, I guess. Too bad the story isn't actually that entertaining. I did like Batman actually getting sick of Bullock and telling him off)
68. Trial - 4/5 (Really like the idea that the villains make a twisted plot to put Batman on trial. I just wish the entire episode was set up as the trial, instead of just one scene. Bruce meeting the lady who just said he's an infenction to Gotham kinda amusing)
69. Avatar - 2/5 (Oh great, it's Ra's al Ghul, the most boring villain. Like, really just a boring episode. Most notable thing I have to add is I like the scene where the guy who kept calling Batman "infidel" last time threw him some water when they abandoned him in the desert. That's nice)
70. House & Garden - 4/5 (Oh man, Poison Ivy's plant babies are really, really creepy. I gotta give props to this episode, I know Poison Ivy had not really reformed permanently, but for the time being, I actually thought the poisoning were someone elses doing. Usually the villain is super obvious. I don't really understand why she had to create two fake kids for this plan though)
71. The Terrible Trio - 4/5 (The plot was actually really entertaining. There was obviously no mystery, but the bad guys whole schtick with the land, water and air theme was intriguing as well as them not actually being "bad" per se, in that they actually kind of stick up for the little guy. Until they decide to murder a lady, of course... The way they lost Batman in the car chase by throwing money was amusing. Rebecca's father in the hospital bed being painted while every other character is just a regular drawing is really, really fricking weird. Especially when Bruce moves his head so he looks normal for one shot, then when he's still he's immediately painted again)
72. Harlequinade - 5/5 (I always love a good hero-villain teamup, especially since Harley Quinn is so absolutely nutters. She is funny, and incredibly annoying. In an entertaining way, of course. I love that moment when she realizes Joker was about to let her and all her friends die. Of course she forgives him like 5 seconds later. Did she not know it was a joke gun? Was she actually trying to blow Joker's brains out? Side note, her pupils not being aligned properly in the center of her iris makes her look really derpy)
73. Time Out of Joint - 4/5 (The Clock King was actually my favorite among the "boring" villains. That's to say the ones who just seem like regular dudes, if that makes sense. Riddler, Mad Hatter etc. For a show that was trying to be very down to earth, they sure got very sci-fi-y this time. Not that I'm complaining, the idea and the way they do it is interesting. Batman running while holding a slow motion explosion is so epically cool I can't even put it into words)
74. Catwalk - 3/5 (Feels like the same ol' same ol' thing with every Catwoman episode. She's doing something illegal but for a good (well, maybe not so much this time) cause and Batman butts in. Sexual tension ensues. I'm bored of it. Frankly, Scarface was the highlight of this episode but he doesn't do anything outstanding that he didn't do in his first appearance which is better)
75. Bane - 4/5 (Honestly, The Dark Knight's Bane is so much more entertaining purely cause of the voice and mask. This Bane's voice and mask is definitely not as cool, so it's a bit disappointing. Still entertaining, of course. The battle in the end is a really fun one. Robin fighting Candice in the water, and Bane seeming like he's about to pop like a fricking balloon. It's funny. As is Batman just exposing Candice's cheating to Rupert Thorne and just leaving. Very unlike him, though)
76. Baby-Doll - 2/5 (Wow. This is terrible. People give I've Got Batman in My Basement a bad rep while this episode exists? It's just so ridiculous, which isn't necessarily bad, but it's also just not entertaining. It's a slog, because it's so incredibly dumb. The few compliments I can give it is Baby Doll hiding a gun in the eye of her doll is pretty clever. And Batman just standing there to lure all the kids to come watch him so he can spot her is too)
77. The Lion and the Unicorn - 3/5 (Red Claw is one thick woman. Awooga. I always like Alfred centric stories, and this episode is good. It's a shame he doesn't get to do much but be kidnapped though)
78. Showdown - 4/5 (Not a bad story by any means, but it's a pretty random western bounty hunter story crammed into a Batman series. The reveal at the end that Arkady is actually Ra's al Ghul's son is pretty neat. Besides that, it's completely irrelevant to anything in the series. But still an entertaining episode)
79. Riddler's Reform - 4/5 (Best Riddler episode so far. The mystery and riddles are very entertaining to see unfold and solved. And his freakout at the end over not figuring out how Batman escaped the explosion is priceless)
80. Second Chance - 5/5 (Finally, the Two-Face episode I have been waiting for ever since his debut! That took way too long. Sadly it's not a real redemption, but it's nice to see he's still got some humanity left in there, and the ending where he met Bruce was sweet. It's a shame it was just one line as he entered Arkham, and that they didn't actually talk to each other. His unhealthy obsession with making decisions with a coin flip and never breaking that rule is just an interesting gimmick to me, and it's fun to see how he freaks out when the coin won't give him an option)
81. Harley's Holiday - 5/5 (Goofy Harley Quinn episode. She is such a funny character, it's just entertaining to be her so insanely speratic while doing something as simple as shopping. This episode doesn't have the most interesting story, but her insanity makes it funny enough all the way through. Her kissing Batman was a bit, uh... Cute? Funny, for sure. Best way to describe this episode really)
82. Lock-Up - 3/5 (I really love the idea of a security Chief scaring the Arkham inmates, and genuinely loved it up until Lyle decided to just become a supervillain. At that point, it gets kinda dull. But Scarecrow fearing him, and even Harley Quinn and Scareface keeping their mouths shut is the best part of the episode)
83. Make 'Em Laugh - 2/5 (Yeah, these villains that pop up are insanely goofy and stupid, and that's the point, so it's funny. But it was a pretty lame Joker scheme. Nothing interesting about it. Plus, why is he so fat when he's disguising himself as normal?)
84. Deep Freeze - 4/5 (I do love how Mr. Freeze isn't really a "bad" guy. He just wants his wife back. And I'm really glad he ended up doing the right thing in this episode. Grant Walker's fate of being frozen solid, while still alive and conscious, floating underwater... Genuinely horrifying. Mr. Freeze at least has his wife. But, wouldn't they both need to eat and drink to survive?)
85. Batgirl Returns - 4/5 (Surprisingly, the last episode of the series doesn't even feature Batman at all. It was still very good. Batgirl and Catwoman were a fun team-up to see. It's pretty weird how Dick and Barbara doesn't know each others identities when they still speak with their same voices in costume, and all Dick has over his face is a small mask over his eyes)
Movie: Batman: Mask of the Phantasm - 3/5 (First things first, I will say the opening moving shot of Gotham is great. And Batman stepping on the table he just knocked over a guy before leaving is hilarious. But as for the movie itself, I was not a big fan. For the most part, it focuses on Bruce's romance with this random lady we're only now hearing of. I already don't like romance, and he's been romancing with so many women at this point. The fact that her leaving him is what fully made him commit to the vigilante life is dumb.
I don't care about any scenes with her in it. And the fact that Joker was one of the old gangsters involved in her father's death felt like a pretty lame way to tie the most iconic villain into the story just because he is... The most iconic villain. These things aren't terrible though, just not insanely good. Joker is still really entertaining. But there are a few good parts here. Mainly, the scenes of young Bruce slowly developing into Batman. Especially the scene where he fights off some robbers in just a black jacket and ski mask. It's a glimpe of his early crime fighting career. And when Alfred first sees the Batman suit. Those scenes are literally AWESOME. But those are like, the only flashback highlights, because the rest is just about his love for this boring woman. And I've made it clear, I don't care about this lady.
An entire movie on Batman's origin, minus the crappy romance would be ideal. We briefly see him design a suit on paper, but we never truly see where he got the idea to make it bat themed, or how he made it. If we didn't get that, the idea that someone is killing people and Batman being framed is also a far more interesting plot to have fleshed out than this romance bullshit!
On a positive note, the part when the entirety of Gotham's police are hunting Batman and they end up chasing him unmasked... That's one of the best moments in this entire series! Why couldn't the whole movie have been as good as this?)
Movie: Batman & Mr. Freeze: SubZero - 4/5 (Now here's what I'm talking about. Epic story with an epic villain and smaller, but more personal and intense stakes. Mr. Freeze keeps shifting from being sympathetic and a total douchebag. I can appreciate he wants his wife back, but at the cost of taking another life, is he not just inflicting the same pain he went through on someone else? It's a shame, after he did the right thing in his last BTAS appearance.
The chase scene with Dick on the motorcycle is fricking epic, yo. I don't have much more to add other than I found the story really interesting, and the entire battle on the oil rig is the greatest. Mr. Freeze's death seemed genuine, I was shocked until I found out he's still alive. But how?? Either way, it's great that his wife is back, though I don't understand why he wouldn't return to Gotham to reunite with her. Nevertheless, that ending is really, really sweet)

I just finished up Hardest of Hearts and - wowwww the adventure ! The twists ! The turns !
This fic reminded me of other adventure fics that I have read and loved such as How to Make Friends and Influence People and As Soft as It Began. Also, obviously - Batmobile.
I’m looking for a similar fic where our favorites go enemies to lovers while also solving mysteries and going on adventures together ! Even better if there are some tropes like fake relationship / marriage / one bed , etc.

I grabbed a humble bundle of Warner Brothers "Greatest hits". Fumbled with Batman:Arkham for a bit, didn't enjoy the batmobile parts and started looking at the other games.
Didn't feel like playing Mortal Kombat, or their Justice league fight game, but the Middle Earth titles caught my eye.
SoM was a blast. Played it once the toddler went to bed, because fuck me if I can explain the gore and decapitations to a 5 year old. My spouse became a bit of a widow the past 2 weeks as well, but hey, they got a lot more Hallmark TV time.
So now I have to decide to jump directly into Shadow of War, or try some of the DLC stuff that came with the game. I did a little digging, and it seems that this is it for this type of game until Wonder Woman comes out?
So I guess I'm asking if I should skip the DLC stuff and head to SoW. I'd also like to know if there are similar gameplay out there? I came fresh from Baldur's Gate to SoM. I like the combat aspect of the game more than the shuffling the orc bits here and there, for context.

If you want "Everything" you'll have to buy the book. Still writing it. Have a few chapters to close out before it will be published. I will give you some highlights.
I've always known back to my earliest memories that I am a girl. I had just turned 4 when I was informed otherwise. They were wrong, still a girl. That was in the late 50's. I was very confused and this is when the actual dysphoria started and so did my search. There was no internet and the trans section at our local library was a bit lacking in information all trough the 60's.
My dad was a fabulously wealthy physics grad student so I was living the good life all over the mid-West. Alright, we were dirt poor like all grad students living in tin shacks on campus. I started searching the college library and infiltrating psych classes trying to figure out what had gone wrong. I determined I was a hermaphrodite that was missing some parts. Not bad for a 7yo. I was also the paperboy....or girl as the case may be. I read the paper regular. I came across an article about Christine Jorgensen and it was on. Finders keepers. At least I knew what I was called. A transsexual. I label I still wear proudly, In. Their. Face.
The 70's I don't talk about much. It was pure PTSD fuel. Beatings, rapes, it was very, very bad. I fear we might be headed that way again if the Christians have their way. The police were very hostile. Finding and torturing a trans person back then was grounds for a promotion. That continued up to about 2010.
Social life. I came out in 1972 when I was 16 and had just gotten my drivers license. I had heard about a gay bar outside a large city about 40miles away. I headed there to see if this was true. It was. There was a small, rundown bar next to and old service station at an intersection out in the cornfields in the middle of no-where. It had been taken over by gay bikers. One of the few groups the rednecks would just as soon not tangle with. There was an alley between the bar and the gas station and that's where the under aged gay kids hung out. If anyone bothered us, the bikers would pile out of the bar and proceed to kick some ass. Any straight/CIS person would look at that dark alley and cringe in fear. For us it was the only safe place on Earth to exist. I hung out with the trans kids. I was the only trans kid so it was a bit lonely but the gay kids accepted me. They didn't understand me but neither did I. There were a couple of biker mommas that were working out of the bar and they took pity on my makeup skills and taught me how to put makeup on like a hooker. Still better than my lame attempts. Hanging out here got me a job when I turned 18 as a whip bitch working in parlor for a pro. $200/hr in the 70's sure helped pay for college.
In the 80's I tried to get help from the psychological community. I was put through 'aversion therapy'. It was the precursor of 'conversion therapy'. All torture, no Jesus. Electrodes on the genitals while being shown pictures of poorly passing trans women. Syrup of Ipicac till I was vomiting blood and tore hiatal hernia so large half my stomach was in my chest cavity pressing against my heart and lungs. This caused severe reflux. From the early 80's till 2020 I had to sleep sitting up in a chair. I'm still trying to get used to sleeping on a flat bed.
By the late 80's I had found someone to help me. They didn't understand me but they didn't try to kill me. I got on HRT. A year later I had the orchi. We didn't have anti-androgens like sprio back then. It was the orchi or put up with the T.
In the early 90's I moved to Minnesota and enrolled in the premier trans program on the Planet and the U of Minnesota. They refused to Rx me HRT even though I had had the orchi. They said I had to go through their program to get approved for HRT. I did individual therapy for a year and moved to group. In group I asked the girl next to me how long she had been there. 3yrs she answered. I said, so you are on HRT. No. I asked the girl on the other side of me how long? 5yrs. HRT? Nope. I looked around the room and all I saw was very long faces and the girl across from me was crying. I asked her, 8yrs and no HRT. WTF? The moment the therapist walked into the room I jumped her ass. WTF is going on here. We were guinea pigs. The grad students were getting their degrees paid for by Minnesota Care insurance, compliments of us. We were getting no help. Helping would mean losing your guinea pigs. Can't have that. Amazingly after over 30yrs of the psych dept studying us, the plastic surgeons at the U of Minn still have no clue about trans people, why we do this and what needs to be done to cure our dysphoria. They have learned nothing.
I tried to get HRT from our local hospital, Sanford. I was sent to the endo and I spilled my guts to him. He told me to wait in the exam room for a few and left. He came back about 5min later, walked in and exclaimed very loudly, "WE DON'T DEAL WITH PEOPLE LIKE YOU!", and in walked two armed guard who escorted me out of the building and told me very loudly to, "NEVER COME BACK HERE DRESSED LIKE THAT AGAIN!" So for the next 15yrs I had to dress and act like a guy to get help at Sandord hospital. After saying enough and coming in dressed as myself I now get misgendered most of the time even though I pass quite well and my DL has had Female on it since the 90's. It's deliberate, my primary care physician even does it. I have a stack of apology letters from patient relations. My last appt there the doctor misgendered me over a dozen time even though I corrected him every time. They still don't care.
By 2005 I was suffering from severe osteoporosis due to lack of hormones, fell and shattered my elbow. It still doesn't work right. I called in the lawyers and the hospital acquiesced and gave me HRT. Back in those days even if you had your letters from your shrink you still had to find a doctor that would write the prescription. That was near impossible. And even with the Rx in hand many pharmacists wouldn't fill it. I ran into several.
HRT is the most basic help and it was near impossible to obtain back then. Surgery was far more difficult. You had to battle the doctors, the hospital, the shrinks, and if covered the insurance company. You had to win every battle and then hope you could get on a schedule. Just winning a battle was near impossible. Winning all of them was a pipe dream. Even when you did win them all, they would find any excuse to delay, postpone, cancel, anything to stop you. I had a breast augmentation canceled 3 times by Sanford. The 4th time I was on the gurney with the IV in my arm and they tried to cancel it again. My support had been throw out of the hospital so the floor nurse could abuse me without witnesses in hopes of chasing me off. 51yrs later I'm still trying to get help and still fighting everyone to get it. I was just refused help by the Univ of Minnesota again just last Friday for breast augmentation. 27yrs of trying to get help at the U of Minn and still being refused. I just spent 2yrs at the Mayo and got nothing but abuse. No help of any kind and was told to sign a contract that says I get no help for another year or more. Gatekeepers. The hardest part of this journey is getting medical help. The medical community is absolutely ignorant as to our plight and how to 'cure' us and they don't seem to care. Dysphoria is a foreign word to them. Doctors and Hospitals are our No.1 antagonists. I have had far more abuse from doctors and hospitals than the police. One thing I will warn you about is con men doctors. Plastic Surgeons will lie their ass off to you on the phone to get you into their office hoping you will think this is your only hope and get you to agree to substandard care to make a quick buck. The gatekeepers are everywhere. Be careful and demand what will cure your dysphoria, settle for nothing less. Plastic surgery is painful and expensive. You don't want to have to do it again. Getting anything fixed that was done wrong is near impossible.
I pass quite well and always have. Tall thin beanpole with long blond hair. I'm a health nut, I don't drink, smoke ciggs or do hard drugs. I exercise hard, very regular. I do 1200 crunches before breakfast every morning. Then I take the doggos for a 3mile walk. I just cut, split and stacked 3 cords of firewood. I'm closing in on 70yo and don't even look it. When I'm at the gym I get hit on by college kids. I've been married for about 20yrs quite happily.
I ran businesses most of my life. I have multiple degrees and a pile of certs. Totally over educated. I was the college version of an army brat. Traveling from one college campus to another as dad was working on degrees. I started programming computers in '74. It's not what I chose, it's just that my brain understands them and we communicate very well. I guess computers chose me. I taught computer programming in a tech school and a college. Everything from putting your name on the screen to high level game programming. I've been building and running networks for colleges and corporations for decades. My shrinks tell me I'm one of the sharper crayons in the box.
I was the first openly trans person to attend my University. The third week of class I was supposed to present a 5 min talk on a chapter we read for class. I asked the prof for the whole class period. He wanted to know why and I told him I was going to jump out of the closet and talk to the class about me. He didn't believe me at first but agreed. I took over the next lecture and talked for about 30min. Then I started the Q&A. At first everyone was afraid to ask anything. I told them this may be the only time in their lives that a trans person would let them ask questions like this so they better get it out now. That got them rolling. At the end of class I asked the instructor if there was another class in this room next hour. It was all ours. Most of the class stayed and continued to ask questions. After that hour some of the students from the first hour returned and brought friends. This continued for 4hrs. It would have continued longer but I had a class to attend. Administration found out I was on 'their' campus and I was banned from the entire recreation building even though I was paying to use it. They President of the the Univ tried to ban me from the bathrooms too. I told him I would be taking a dump in front of his office door every morning, have me arrested. You can explain to the judge why this was happening. He backed off. I spend my entire time in college fighting the Administration and a few faculty that didn't want me there. It was quite educational. The students loved me so much they elected me homecoming queen. The Administration would not let this happen.
Currently I'm living deep in the forests of Northern Minnesota. We move back and forth from our farm in the Winter to the lake home in the Summer. I am currently retired and chasing tornadoes in a Batmobile. https://i.imgur.com/xdxJUnX.jpg It just keeps getting weirder doesn't it. When you get older you'll discover that 'sanity' isn't all it's cut out to be.
That should cover the basics but barely touches the surface. It's been one Hell of a life.....with the emphasis on "Hell". If you want the details and a whole lot more you'll have to buy the book. I'll be naming and shaming the Zeros that abused me. I'll also sing accolades from on high for those Heroes that helped me. I hope you learned something.
If you are an attorney that would like to help a trans ancient I would really appreciate your assistance. There's a whole lot of people I'd like to introduce to a Judge. We'll both get rich.

The setup is as follows: This is the Mads Mikkelson version, amped for the comics (we already know Hannibal is extremely proficient in karate and bushido). A few things have happened, first, Hannibal Lecter is a former disciple of Ras Al Ghul and is now the current leader of the league of shadows.
Secondly, in an effort for him to say, be competitive in such a fantastical world as the DC comics verse, he acquired a serum fairly similar to that which Slade Wilson has, and has taken more than a few dips in the Lazarus pit.
And this next one is particularly fun for me. She was also Bruce Wayne’s childhood trauma psychologist, and in this particular storyline/versus match we’re going to go ahead and say that Hannibal more than had a little fun with Bruce’s brain so to speak, in fact, will just say that Hannibal was likely the one who planted the seed of vengeance, and whether Hannibal intended for it to happen or not, will just go with the he was curious to see what would happen and gold that was popular in the television series of encouraging Bruce to embrace whom Hannibal saw as a very brilliant young man, or boy in this case to become the killer that Hannibal (and imo The Joker) always saw deeply seated in Bruce.
Now Bruce being who he is, didn’t become that, he became Batman. Someone whom seems himself as vengeance and is arguably something of a fascist (one reason I loved The Batman movie is Bruce saw that was all he was becoming and realized beating up random thugs on the street isn’t helping anyone, and in fact making things worse)
Flash forward 20-ish years. Damien Wayne isn’t known to Bruce yet, but Hannibal knows about him, Grayson is now Nightwing, Jason Todd is recently murdered and Joker is now in Arkham.
Bruce feeling isolated and encroached by a strong desire to be the most brutal son of a bitch he can be but staying true to the no-killing-rule has decided the best way he can honor Jason’s memory is to bring one of the few people who’s ever had a strong (and perhaps a good influence, intended or not), lasting and defining impression, a man he highly respects, Dr. Hannibal Lector. A skilled surgeon like Batman’s pappy, a nearl-equal to Batman in terms of combative training, he did kill Ras Al Ghul and eat him in this tale. A world-renowned criminal psychologist
And now he presents Hannibal with easily the greatest challenge Dr. Lector has had to face in at least a few decades, and imo the greatest challenge ever: Treat The Joker, cure him if possible, find out who he was if doable, and at the very least curb his violent impulses
For Bruce I think it’s safe to say that a part of the worlds greatest detective would love nothing more than knowing, truly knowing the Joker, and seeing if there is a way to end a brutal cycle of violence that he and Batman have been locked in for over a decade, to the tune of hundreds of deaths as well as one Robin.
So the gauntlet or “who would win”is in this: Does Bruce Wayne discover Hannibal’s true nature before that particularly anti-humanistic person does irreparable damage to…. Well everyone, can The Joker turn the tables on Hannibal? For the sake of reference well go ahead and put this Joker in a similar state both in terms of danger and horror as he was during the “Death Of the Family” storyline. A Joker that would delight in cutting his own face off, maybe even trying on Hannibal’s lol.
Round 1) Joker and Hannibal team-up. Decide to break the Bat. Not kill him but get him to kill. Hannibal knows Joker knows who Batman is, and maybe Hannibal suspects but to both of these killers the other is a means to an end
Round 2) after facilitating in Jokers escape Hannibal remains at Arkham, but now they are fully in bed together, maybe even physically at some point. Enjoy that nightmare fuel! Can Batman figure out what they are up to?
Round 3) Joker and Hannibal vs Batman atop the GCPD. Batman’s utility belt has been disarmed. Jim Gordon is 10 minutes away
Round 4) Batman has had half of his left hand 🫲 cut off, still has his thumb and index and most of his middle finger. Jokers ribs are broken, Hannibal’s cheekbones are shattered and his right eye is completely closed
Round 5) final round (one week after round 4)(?) Batman, Joker, and Hannibal now in the worlds most depraved film fisticuff threesome. Joker and Hannibal are actively seeking to get Batman to kill one or both of them, Alfred has been given some of the Joker serum. Batman has one ace in the hole, Harley Quinn is awaiting in one of the batmobiles. She wants Hannibal dead, for seemingly having romanced her puddin. Maybe she’ll kill Joker too if she can. Batman has virtually no use over his left hand, but has the entire Batcave at his disposal. Unfortunately so has Hannibal, and Mistah J. Perhaps Hannibal has brought the entire “menu” to the table. Bane, Killer Croc, Mr. freeze, poison Ivy and the big guns: Talia and Damian Wayne are in-play. So is Nightwing, for Bruce’s side, plus Jim Gordon and Oracle
I’m curious as to how anyone sees this playing out 😈🤡👺
Batman has 3 emergency doses of venom he can use at any point after round 4
Bonus round: Hannibal v Joker, first a battle of wits, then knives, and anything, everything and everyone at Arkham asylum. At this point Hannibal has been jokers psychiatrist for six months as well as the vast majority of Batman‘s Rogue gallery.
To me, what makes this giant who would win group of scenarios is letting all of you who I have been interested enough to read this write a little story on how you think grounds one through five would play out do you think a somewhat super soldiery and Lazarus pit infused Hannibal Lecter, and the joker are too much for Batman? Do you think that the combo of those two running around Gotham or even Arkham asylum or enough to drive Batman into killing one or the other? Hell, maybe Batman deciding that they should all go in some brilliant catastrophic fiery explosion?
Does Bruce Wayne/Batman wind up just becoming Hannibal‘s new will Graham so to speak or maybe Batman goes completely off the deep end and decides to eat and consume both the joker and Hannibal or maybe feed the joker to Hannibal I mean the fun for me here is seeing what everyone’s imaginations will do with this so to me that’s the real fun and the real challenge.