After my last post, DH ignored his mom’s calls for a week and finally had a discussion with her a few days ago. During this call, he did a good job standing his ground on her behavior being inappropriate. My mil does this thing where when she feels she is “losing” an argument, instead of saying “ok I understand, I will try to do better into the future” she tries to overwhelm and guilt DH with a bunch of stuff so she’s no longer the person in the hot seat.
So this discussion that started by DH telling her that she needs to do better, turned into her accusing us of not “letting her and step-fil be grandparents”, because when my now 2.5 year old was born, we never let them babysit or take on a primary care role for DD, and we let my mother do all of that. (Meaning, my mom babysat for like an hour or two once a week so we could go out when she was a baby).
There were reasons that mil didn’t gain enough trust for us to leave our baby with her, but I feel that there’s no point in engaging in that conversation 2+ years later. She never asked then what she could do differently to gain that trust, but it’s a very convenient narrative for her to lean on now that time has passed and her version of the story is not as easily debunked.
At this point, she doesn’t get asked to babysit for entirely different reasons than back then!! She so far has not been able to build a genuine trusting relationship with DD, and I don’t believe in anyone having the right to babysit her if they don’t make her feel totally comfortable. She tries to force photos when DD is uncomfortable, she disregards when dd says no to something and we have to step in to hold the boundary, and she and her husband are not physically able to chase after my very active toddler.
I know that this is going to continue to be something she uses to play victim on, and I’m about to have another baby so I’m sure she’s going to raise all sorts of hell about “getting to be a grandparent” and I don’t know how to respond to this. To me, being a grandparent means just being around and focusing on building a fun positive relationship with my kids, and the primary care responsibilities are for me and DH. I’d love to hear from people who may have a similar issue with their in-laws and how they dealt with it.

Platinum End Theory: Who Is God And Those Mysterious Beings In The Finale Explained
Original link- https://reddit.com/platinumend/comments/sdw2rc/deleted_by_use
Repost cause the original was deleted. I'm not OP. OP is https://www.reddit.com/usemuphenz
Thanks https://www.reddit.com/usecompletelylostcase for the Pastebin link. https://pastebin.com/A8K4bJiD
DISCLAIMER: This theory will go over the entire story of Platinum End, so obvious spoilers ahead. Just a heads up, this theory is posted at the time that only a few episodes of the anime have been released. Depending on how much the anime stays like the manga, details may end up changing. Therefore, the entire theory will be based solely on the manga. I will also leave snippets of the manga with the highlighted text to support my claim. Please be sure to read those as it will help this theory make sense. This theory is completely my own original thoughts. If anyone shares this, please be sure to credit me, Muphenz. Thanks!Hello, my fellow Platinum End fans! If you’re like me, the ending completely caught me off guard and left my head-scratching. Do not worry! I’ve overanalyzed everything and made a theory to possibly explain who god and those beings at the end of the story are, so you don’t have to. Those beings at the end of the manga, chapter 58, are drum roll…humans of the future who have achieved many scientific advancements who existed well before the story of Platinum End takes place and are simulating their own world with fake humans, fake angels, and a fake god. Why are the real humans running this simulation? Simply put, they’re suicidal and no amount of therapy is going to help with that. Why are they wanting to die? In the future, it is predicted by Gaku Yoneda that within 500 years, humans will achieve immortality. Once they achieve immortality, they will eventually master time and space and will be able to do things like teleport, time travel, see the future, etc. And once humans achieve immortality and are able to know all of the future, they will discover that the future cannot be changed according to Dr. Yoneda. Just like Dr. Yoneda’s prediction, the real humans are wanting to die which is why it’s stated by one of the real humans how annoying it is that there is no death. Whatever the process was that made the real humans immortal, it seems that it cannot be reversed to restore one’s mortality. Although it’s not stated how humans will achieve immortality and allow them to control time and space, this will somehow cause humanity’s apocalypse as well, destroying the original Earth. What makes these creatures more human-like than god-like is that they admit they were born on another planet, most likely the original Earth. They are also aware that they too were created by something that is above them. How do we know Dr. Yoneda’s predictions are right? It was stated by Shuji Nakaumi that his past predictions came true. One thing to understand about science is that it’s extremely good at accurately predicting things. Example 1: With Issac Newton’s law of motion, scientists can predict the position of an object at any specific time, past, present, or future. Example 2: In the 1840s, Fitzner astronomer Urbain Le Verrier was analyzing the orbit pathway of Mercury and found that it is changing very slowly over time. With technology limited at that time, it was hard to provide proof. In 1915, the famous German physicist, Albert Einstein was able to calculate the influence of the curved space in Mercury’s orbit. That is 75 years later that science proved its prediction was right. Although science cannot tell future events like a psychic will attempt to, I believe this is what the author was using to help advance the plot for the ending. The real humans already know the future and they’re aware that no matter what they try, death is not a part of that. If they cannot do it, someone else can. That is when these simulations come in. The real humans will create simulated humans. In one of the simulations, the story of Platinum End takes place. This would not be on a computer. This process would involve terraforming an entire planet to support carbon-based life. The planet that the simulated humans live on will be similar to the original Earth as well as the history and advancement of science will be similar to the real humans. As the simulated human’s society progresses, like in Platinum End, they would eventually learn how to become immortal and learn how to control space-time which would lead to them wanting to die just like the real humans. But unlike the real humans, the simulated ones may actually achieve a way to kill themselves once they obtain immortality that the real humans could use. But as we already know stated by the real humans, this specific simulation was a failure. Nothing was created that was capable of killing them. Thus, the real humans will move on to a new simulation. Pay very special attention to this picture. Notice right after all of the humans disappear when the fake god kills himself, the buildings are slowly crumbling away since no one is here to maintain them. According to World Building, it would take an average of 250 years for a building to start to break apart since materials like wood and plastic would be destroyed by the environment if not maintained. Metal would be expanding and no longer able to keep the building's structure in place. This would cause things like windows to fall off and shatter. So after a few hundred years, the real humans return to the planet after the simulated humans disappeared due to the fake god’s suicide. It’s possible that during this time they’re running other simulations on other planets and returned when this simulation was completed. Since the real humans have achieved master over space-time, teleporting to anywhere in the universe would not be out of the question. Since they cannot die, the amount of time it would take for the real humans to travel anywhere in the universe is irrelevant as well. Even though Gaku Yoneda’s predictions about the simulated humanity’s end were wrong, he was technically right. It did come true for the real humans. If Shuji Nakaumi, as the fake god, did not kill himself and wipe out all of the fake humans, they would of most likely learned how to cheat death and to control space-time in the future. Gaku was wrong about the fake god being a product of human belief in order to live. He even admits that the composition of the fake god was wrong. If the fake god required human belief to live, then Shuji would not have erased the memories of those who were not god candidates as it would have affected the fake god's existence if fewer people believed in him. There is one thing that begs the question. Why is a fake god needed to run these simulations? Why do the simulated humans have souls? Why not just create the simulated humans and leave them to figure out how to create an immortal killing machine without the process of a false god? This is because God and souls are actually real and are necessary for life to exist. To clarify, the “God” that Shuji Nakaumi was transmuted into is not the true God that I’m referring to. I’m referring to the first cause of everything, a self-aware creator, a deistic God who existed before time and space who created the universe and does not intervene in its creation. This means no miracles, prophecy, answering prayers, divine revelation, etc. Everything in the universe is governed by physics and these laws cannot be broken. The real humans who are running the simulations are aware that they are a creation made from a creator. However, since a deistic God does not interfere in the universe, the real humans cannot know of him, at least while they are still alive. Considering the real humans can control space-time, I can say for certain at one point, at least one person went to the very beginning of time and saw something that would be evidence of an intelligent designer creating the universe. When the real humans are conversing with each other at the finale, one human suggests identifying what created them and the second one replies that seeking their creator will be a waste of time. If a deistic God won’t intervene in its creation, the real humans would be wasting time by attempting to contact him. Even though they can control space-time, if the creator exists outside of reality, they would not be able to reach this entity. Focusing on figuring out who created them means that time is wasted if they're not figuring out how to die which is why it would take them further away from death. Just as the simulated humans have souls, the real humans also have souls. At some point, the real humans discovered the soul. They are aware that this is needed for life to be sentient. The discovery of the soul could have played a key part in the real humans achieving immortality. The fake god is engineered by the real humans to create souls so that life can be sentient, mimic the universe's deistic God by allowing the simulation to run with no interference, and act as a mod to keep an eye on life with the red and white arrows. The celestial realm was created so the fake god would not be a part of the simulated world. Even though time moves differently in the celestial realm, it is the closest thing that the real humans can engineer to simulate a deist God that is separated from its creation. This fake god does not have the powers of a supreme being. The fake god does not know everything, is not everywhere at once, and does not display any sort of omnipotent ability. There is a lot of things that the fake god admits to not knowing, such as who created him, why are souls preserved, and how long does the merging process take. Although we do see the fake god have the ability to observe humanity, I would say that this is the equivalent of having admin privileges to watch humanity live-streamed on YouTube. The fake god is aware that he is created by someone. The fake god noticed that there are things that had already been created that he was not a part of just by observing everything in the universe. Although he seems to not understand what created him. He even acknowledges the idea that humanity could have created him. All the simulated souls come from the fake god. This is done through a process of emanation, which means to flow from. In the Abrahamic religions, specifically Gnosticism, Jewish Mysticism, and certain sectors of Protestantism, instead of your typical creator being separate from its creation, everything is a spontaneous outflow from God. As pieces of God emanate from him, it becomes less divine, but these pieces will eventually become an individual soul that forms into human spirits, angels, demons, as well as other things that come into reality such as heaven, hell, and the world of the living. Eventually, everything that came from God, will return back to the creator. (If you’re still confused on what emanation is, I would do more research before continuing to read as this will play a key role in understanding who the fake god is.) Emanation is how the fake god created the simulated human and their soul, the fake angels, and the celestial realm. The fake god took a piece of himself and used it to create life. Since everything emanates from the fake god is connected to him, as he is dying, most of the angels are dying too. Due to this connection, when the fake god killed himself, everything that was tied to the fake god disappeared. But because the creation of the fake god is not connected to the physical world, the planet and everything that is not life remained on it. When the simulated human beings die, the soul goes to the celestial realm. This is the returning aspect of emanation. The souls that came from the fake god are returning back to him. You always see all angels, regardless of rank, having the task of carrying the souls to the celestial realm. It seems that the main purpose of the angels is to help with the return part of the emanation process. The more that the emanence is divided, the less divine it becomes. This is why the fake humans are considered sub-celestial in the hierarchy. It appears that there is a certain order to the flow of emanation. The newest creations emanate from the fake god. Kids will be the first in the line for the emanate process and their parents will be behind them. This is why when the fake god committed suicide, the kids were the first ones to disappear, then the adults. All things that emanate from the fake god are returning to the original source in reverse order when the fake god takes his own life. When the fake god merges with a human, this appears to go against the set pattern of the emanation process by breaking the order in which the emanence flows. This is why when Shuji merged with the fake god, it felt like there was something foreign in the fake god's body similar to how an infected person's body acts when the immune system detects foreign bacteria or a virus. The only way to get around it is by the fake god merging with a simulated human and having the fake god take over the new body when the fusion is completedIt is stated by the fake god that it is nothing more than humanity's assumption that God cannot die. This may be true for the deistic God, but not for a fake god. It is already known that the real humans achieved immortality. Although the fake god could have been engineered to be immortal, that would just create another being who would eventually want to die. The fake god was designed to live a long life, compared to humans, that could be extended through the process of merging with one of its emanated counterparts until the simulation was completed. This has been done throughout time in the form of the god choosing process. The fake god confirmed to Shuji that his purpose was to create life. Professor Yoneda confirmed that the fake god was created by human imagination and that its purpose was to end life.On the surface, this may seem like a contradiction. But both of them are right. The fake god’s purpose was to create the simulated humans. God is metaphorically a creation of human imagination. It was not by the simulated human’s imagination as stated by Yoneda, but it was designed and engineered by the minds of the real humans. Since the purpose of the simulation is for the fake humans to achieve immortality and figure out how to reverse it, you can say that the fake god is a part of that process of killing humanity. Right as all of the humans are disappearing, Dr. Yoneda realizes that the composition that makes up the creature is based on a science that the simulated humans have not discovered yet. The composition of the fake god is Aether. In medieval times, a common study among scholars is alchemy, which can be best described as the forerunner for modern-day chemistry mixed with the pseudoscience of metaphysics. According to Charles Gillispie, a historian at Princeton University, in his book, The Edge of Objectivity, An Essay in the History of Scientific Ideas, Aether is the fifth element, along with earth, wind, fire, and water, that are the basic building blocks of the universe. During medieval times, Aether is the substance that is believed to connect the physical world to the spiritual one. It was even a common belief that the Abrahamic God was surrounded by Aether and that all of the angels, demons, and souls that dwelled in the afterlife breathed it in as humans breathed in the air. According to Jakob Bernoulli, a mathematician from the 1600s, believed that Aether is what allowed souls to interact with their human bodies. All of these characteristics of Aether match the composition of the fake god. Aether is what allows life to become sentient, connecting all of the simulated humans back to the fake god from the physical world to the celestial realm. It seems at some point, the real humans discover this element. This discovery most likely led to the discovery of the soul. Using this element, the real humans used Aether to construct the fake god needed for the simulations. Everything that is a part of the simulation, the fake god, angels, the soul, the arrows, is made up of this element. The red arrow is what allows the god candidates to make other humans fall in love with them so much that the person who is under the influence of the arrow will do literally anything the person who is in control wants, even die for them. The white arrow has the ability to kill any life while all inanimate objects are unaffected. These were limits placed on the arrows by the fake god. According to Ogaro, the fake god can use the full power of the arrows at will. The red arrow is more than just making someone fall in love. The arrow does this by taking away their free will. The god candidates were limited to using the arrow on 14 people at once for a period of up to 33 days. With the fake god able to use the full power of the red arrow, he can enslave any or all simulated humans with a snap of his finger for as long as he desired. The red arrow also played a role in creating the first simulated life as well. The fake god stated that if life was left alone, it would multiply. The desire of falling in love and wanting to procreate was implanted by the red arrow when life was created. The white arrow is the opposite of the red arrow. This arrow can kill life instantly. The limit that was placed on this arrow is that only one white arrow can be shot at a time. Just like the red arrow, this arrow has a maximum range of 31.6 meters. When cycling the white arrow, there is a cool down period of 0.3 seconds. If these limiters are removed, the fake god can kill all humans with the white arrows with virtually no limit on distance, any number of arrows can be used simultaneously, and there would be no mandatory cool down period.The creation of the simulated humans involves two key ingredients. The first is the soul which comes from the fake god. The second is a physical body for the soul to be attached to. The real humans asked if it was worth planting another seed and another god as those are two separate things.The making of another god is obviously the fake god. But what is the seed? The seed is what makes the physical embodiment of all plants and animals that all emanence is attached to. I.E., souls attached to bodies. According to the fake god, before he created life on the fake Earth, there was some sort of micro-organism.This seed would be that micro-organism, specifically carbon-based bacteria that is capable of evolution. Around 3 billion years ago, the first life on Earth was bacteria. There are two types of bacteria, a classification of anaerobic bacteria that ate other organic compounds and simple sugars to survive. The other kind is autotrophs bacteria which is capable of self-feeding. Anaerobic bacteria would evolve into modern-day animals. Autotroph bacteria would evolve into modern-day plants that still have the ability to self-feed through a process of photosynthesis. It is possible to send bacteria through space. According to a 2020 study published in the Journal of Frontiers in Microbiology, bacteria were able to survive in space for three years. If the real humans were able to transport the seed through space in less than 3 years, it could easily survive. Considering they achieved immortality, it is within reason to think this would be a piece of cake for them. At some point, part of the anaerobic bacteria would come in contact with the fake god, who was on the fake Earth at that time to make life, recognized the fake god as food, and attempted to feed off of him to survive. The bacteria that fed off the fake god would eventually evolve into Nasse. The bacteria that did not feed off of the fake god would evolve into more complex forms of life on the fake Earth. Since Nasse was accidentally created from this event, it most likely means that she is the first angel that the fake god created. This means that she could serve as inspiration for the fake god to create angels for the celestial realm. The angels don't seem to share any ability to reproduce with each other. There is never any mention of any family heritage. It means that all of the angels were created around the same time. Since Nasse is the only angel that came from the seed/bacteria, her biological makeup differs from all the other angels. While the majority of her is angel, part of the genetic makeup is similar to carbon-based life. Although I would not say Nasse is an angel-human hybrid, she could be considered a type of Nephilim. Due to this biological difference, Nasse is the only angel that can interfere in both the physical world and the celestial realm. Much research has shown that facial expressions are innate among all animals, not just humans. The same animals that display facial expressions when expressing emotions, lying, determination, etc. use similar muscles in the face as humans do. For example, a Psychologist, Paul Ekman, studied facial expression from hours of film and ventured on to multiple isolated tribes who have very little contact with modern society. He showed them pictures of facial expressions and asked them to interpret them. These people were able to match facial expressions and their meaning with high accuracy. This is one of the many studies that show facial expressions are genetic. Even though Nasse is single-minded, she is able to understand facial expressions due to her biological relationship with the simulated life on the fake Earth. But hey, this is just a theory."

I had two cats 10M and 3F. They were cuddle buddies and loved each other. About 2 months about the male started losing weight and declining. He went through many tests and bloodwork and meds but ended up getting diagnosed with cancer on Tuesday and was put to sleep to end his suffering as he wasn’t himself. The entire time, my girl cat who is my entire heart and soul seemed so sad. She didn’t play with him anymore (it feels like she knew he didn’t feel good and didn’t want to bother him) and would cry at night for someone to play with as she would run around.
I’m feeling a lot of guilt and regret I didn’t spoil him in his last months. What if he had future symptoms and I didn’t register them as abnormal? I feel like I was in strong denial we would find something out and he would be fixed and healthy again. We would cuddle every night but I feel like I should’ve done more and spent more time focusing all my attention on him. He was such a sweet loving boy. I can barely eat and I’ve been throwing up I feel so sick for how it ended. When we brought him to the vet on Tuesday I feel like I got hit by a truck when the vet felt his abdomen and immediately said it’s not good and he thinks it’s rapidly spreading intestinal cancer. X-rays confirmed this. He was put to sleep with me and fiance in the room while he weakly laid there.
We stayed in the room for the process by his head petting and kissing him while he got injected with the anesthetic. I didn’t want him to look at what was going on and he kept his eyes on us the entire time. After the first injection, he started purring so loud. He hadn’t purred like this in weeks. I feel so guilty he was purring to comfort himself because he was scared or in pain but was too weak to vocalize or move.
We chose to do cremation. I’m scared they weren’t kind and gentle with his body. I’m personally so against cremation as it feels so cruel to do to a body even if they’ve passed. I’m scared he was just thrown into an incinerator and didn’t get the respect he deserves. My coworkers asked me if it was a solitary or mixed cremation. I didn’t even think about this. I don’t mind getting mixed ashes - it could be multiple animals whose owners chose not to keep their ashes and that’s so sad to me. But what if I get the ashes back and it’s barely his? How do I even know if it’s him? I want to ask the vet clinic but I’m so scared of the answer and how I’ll linger on it forever.
Then… I got two new outdoor kittens that were about to get trapped in storms happening and adopted them this week. I got one Monday and my male cat cuddled him and me the entire time before his appointment. After we euthanized him… we went back and got the other babies brother the same night so he wouldn’t be alone and scared and in the storms. It wasn’t to replace him - that was not our intention whatsoever. We just knew we could help this baby and it would be more comforting to the first kitten to have his brother.
They’re so sweet. But I feel so guilty my cat somehow feels replaced. But they could never be a replacement for him, they just needed help and we had the resources to do so. I feel like it looks really shitty of me to adopt so quickly and that it looks just forgetting my cat for some new babies. I know I shouldn’t care what people think and I would never judge someone else for helping out a cat after a loss.
My girl cat seems happy. She loves cuddling them when they’re calm during the day and plays with them at night which is her regular crazy hours. She sets her boundaries gently with them when they get a little wild and she’s not ready to play. But I feel so guilty and evil. They get lots of love but to be honest I can’t help but look at them and think that should’ve never happened with my male cat and he should be here. I applied to volunteer at my local shelter that needs help to help with their cats - they have a lot of senior and special needs cats I want to work with as they deserve love.
I’m really just rambling but I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about it without looking crazy. I’m in one on one therapy but it’s not until Tuesday and I feel weird going in and just dumping all my problems about cats. It feels so insignificant compared to issues people go through in life and we’ve been focusing on my OCD obsessions and rituals.
Am I a bad cat owner? Did I make too many wrong quick decisions?

I had two cats 10M and 3F. They were cuddle buddies and loved each other. About 2 months about the male started losing weight and declining. He went through many tests and bloodwork and meds but ended up getting diagnosed with cancer on Tuesday and was put to sleep to end his suffering as he wasn’t himself. The entire time, my girl cat who is my entire heart and soul seemed so sad. She didn’t play with him anymore (it feels like she knew he didn’t feel good and didn’t want to bother him) and would cry at night for someone to play with as she would run around.
I’m feeling a lot of guilt and regret I didn’t spoil him in his last months. I feel like I was in strong denial we would find something out and he would be fixed and healthy again. We would cuddle every night but I feel like I should’ve done more and spent more time focusing all my attention on him. He was such a sweet loving boy. I can barely eat and I’ve been throwing up I feel so sick for how it ended. When we brought him to the vet on Tuesday I feel like I got hit by a truck when the vet felt his abdomen and immediately said it’s not good and he thinks it’s rapidly spreading intestinal cancer. X-rays confirmed this. He was put to sleep with me and fiancee in the room while he weakly laid there.
We stayed in the room for the process by his head petting and kissing him while he got injected with the anesthetic. I didn’t want him to look at what was going on and he kept his eyes on us the entire time. After the first injection, he started purring so loud. He hadn’t purred like this in weeks. I feel so guilty he was purring to comfort himself because he was scared or in pain but was too weak to vocalize or move.
We chose to do cremation. I’m scared they weren’t kind and gentle with his body. I’m personally so against cremation as it feels so cruel to do to a body even if they’ve passed. I’m scared he was just thrown into an incinerator and didn’t get the respect he deserves. My coworkers asked me if it was a solitary or mixed cremation. I didn’t even think about this. I don’t mind getting mixed ashes - it could be multiple animals whose owners chose not to keep their ashes and that’s so sad to me. But what if I get the ashes back and it’s barely his? How do I even know if it’s him? I want to ask the vet clinic but I’m so scared of the answer and how I’ll linger on it forever.
Then… I got two new outdoor kittens that were about to get trapped in storms happening and adopted them this week. I got one Monday and my male cat cuddled him and me the entire time before his appointment. After we euthanized him… we went back and got the other babies brother the same night so he wouldn’t be alone and scared and in the storms. It wasn’t to replace him - that was not our intention whatsoever. We just knew we could help this baby and it would be more comforting to the first kitten to have his brother.
They’re so sweet. But I feel so guilty my cat somehow feels replaced. But they could never be a replacement for him, they just needed help and we had the resources to do so. I feel like it looks really shitty of me to adopt so quickly and that it looks just forgetting my cat for some new babies. I know I shouldn’t care what people think and I would never judge someone else for helping out a cat after a loss.
My girl cat seems happy. She loves cuddling them when they’re calm during the day and plays with them at night which is her regular crazy hours. She sets her boundaries gently with them when they get a little wild and she’s not ready to play. But I feel so guilty and evil. They get lots of love but to be honest I can’t help but look at them and think that should’ve never happened with my male cat and he should be here. I applied to volunteer at my local shelter that needs help to help with their cats - they have a lot of senior and special needs cats I want to work with as they deserve love.
I’m really just rambling but I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about it without looking crazy. I’m in one on one therapy but it’s not until Tuesday and I feel weird going in and just dumping all my problems about cats. It feels so insignificant compared to issues people go through in life and we’ve been focusing on my OCD obsessions and rituals.
Am I a bad pet owner? Did I make too many wrong quick decisions?

Me and best friend have been in each other’s lives since we were 12 years old. We’re both 27 now. I’ve lived an hour and 20 mins away from her since I’ve been 13 years old. There’s always been that distance but no matter what we always kept in contact. I’ve always made the drive to see her and spend time with her. Fast forward to 2023, she becomes pregnant. I’m so happy for her. Excited and buying stuff for the baby already. She gives birth in June and I’ve never been so happy and proud of her. Legit cried when i saw him. It’s October now. She’s invited me to her baby’s baptism. There were 2 times stated on the invitation, one for the church and one for the venue. So the week of I reached out to find out if we’re meeting at her house or the church. She tells me to just go to the venue instead. I get there with my boyfriend. You know when you feel a certain vibe? Like an uncomfortable/ awkward vibe? I felt it in my stomach but I ignored it and start to say hi to her and her whole family. We sit at our designated table. I start to hear conversation from her friends about how the church was. I look at my boyfriend confused because I assumed it was only family. That made me questioned why were these people there? Friends that I was just introduced to 2 months ago, but I wasn’t? I’ve been feeling very weird with our relationship. As if we’re outgrowing each other. So i posted to my finsta just expressing how I felt. She saw it and she called me. She said what is this about? I said “ it’s just been how I’ve been feeling about us. i find out that everyone was at the church, but me? “ she said “ well where were you during my pregnancy? I barely saw you.” Now at this moment I’m thinking of all the times I’ve seen her thought out the year which was normal amount of times we seen each other. So i said “you never called or texted me about anything during your pregnancy. Never said anything that you needed me.” She said “i shouldn’t have to. You stopped prioritizing me. I thought it would be different when i gave birth but no.” (A little background on me. I have a full time job working overnights in a hospital. Started going back to school full-time in September of 2023 for nursing school. I have my own relationship and dog-ter. My own apartment which went up 50% this year too. A lot has been going on with me as well) I told her I just started school again, and the times i have off i spend it studying or relaxing at home. She said “well you could’ve made at effort, we couldn’t deal with him as a newborn.” I said “well again you never said anything” she said “you didn’t think my instagram posts meant anything ?” To be honest, saying stuff on instagram is completely different from actually reaching out to people. I told her “i figured you wanted to be alone since you’re figuring out how to be new parents” she said “how dare you make decisions for me. Do you know how it was not to make you a Godmother?” I start to bawl my eyes out. The way you get when you’re trying to catch your breath type of cry. Because we’ve always talked about that since we were kids. Making each other the Godmother to each other’s kid. I said “yes that hurt me” through my sobs. Trying to hold it together so i can speak. She said since i wasn’t there for her that I deserve that title. I’ve always been there for her for anything. She calls and I come. No matter what. I make arrangements. I’ll try to be there. She said that I couldn’t even make it to her baby shower. Which she’s right i couldn’t. Back in May of 2023, she was telling me when she was planning the baby shower. I told her that weekend is my little brother’s graduation in the of Florida. So i wouldn’t even be in NY. I begged her to make it for the following weekend so I can attend because i really wanted to be there. I was buying stuff every week till the baby shower to make her a baby shower basket. With diapers of every size. Wipes. Even hair clips for her too. So she knew i wouldn’t be there and still chose to plan it that day anyways. So i didn’t push anymore it’s her day, but i made sure my boyfriend was there. He helped set up and get the cake. He bought the gifts i bought them even the high chair. Now back to our conversation, i told her it was my little brother’s high school graduation. You knew this. She said okay? You could’ve came for a little bit and left that night. I said no. I was with my family. That’s why i asked for the following weekend. She said “well no why would i change it for ONE person?” I said “okay so why are you mad ?” I’m sorry but i wasn’t not missing my only little brother’s high school graduation. So she didn’t make me a godmother meanwhile her child has 5 Godmothers. I wasn’t 1. There’s other situations that have happened as well throughout the years. But this was the icing on the cake. Something I cannot forgive in my heart. It hurts so much. She’s MY ONLY best friend. She has an army behind her. I would’ve done anything for her. I’ve always showed up for her when she called me. I’ve always made her a priority. But now that I’m trying to better myself and the one time I’m finally thinking of me. I’m the fucked up friend ? So Am I the asshole?

30 weeks tomorrow. I basically can’t sleep at night time. At all. I stayed up for 28 hours to fix it. Slept a normal 8 hours at the end of that long stretch only to wake up the next day and not be able to sleep that night. Some days I sleep for 12 hours straight, but I’m never getting good sleep or wake up fully rested. Sometimes I sleep for 3 hours and feel great, or like crap. There’s almost no rhyme or reason to my sleep patterns/lack thereof.
I’m terrified I still won’t be able to sleep once she’s born. I know newborn exhaustion is a thing, and a different kind of tired. But right now all I have to worry about is her growth and my nutrition intake and getting enough rest, not WHEN I rest. Day/night time doesn’t matter too much. Right now I dont have another person who solely depends on me for survival(outside of the womb) who needs a schedule. I guess I’m just scared of having this same viscous (and lonely) cycle going once she’s here too. It’s like I myself am a newborn who has day/night confusion.
People in my circle tell me it’s common but it’s so lonely that I’ve become depressed from it. I realize hormones change after birth and I’ll be so tired from the newborn routine, but I’m so scared of being a failure of a mom because of this depression I’m dealing with and that it won’t go away when postpartum hormones come through.
All I do every day is sleep and wake up a few hours before my husband gets home from work. I get about 2 1/2 3 hours max with him and then he’s sleeping. And I have sleep anxiety. It’s like he’s leaving me for the day again? Because of this and the loneliness/depression it’s caused it’s been difficult to regulate my emotions on top of the typical irritability and irrationality that comes with pregnancy. If anything my body hasn’t suffered from this pregnancy. It’s nearly a flawless pregnancy. But my mind… is suffering in a way that’s hard to explain. this is the least like myself I’ve ever been in my life. I can’t control any of my emotions/feelings/hysterical bouts. And so many people tell me it just gets worse postpartum. If I’m struggling this bad to the point of wanting to bang my head against the doorframe and crying for no reason until my eyes are swollen now how will I ever get better once she’s here? I’m genuinely terrified for my mental health and my baby’s, she can feel what I’m feeling. I’m so scared that she will have a horrible anxious attachment to me from what she’s already experiencing.
I take pregnancy approved medication for these mental struggles that are a side affect of my insufficient sleep/lack of it/too much of it. I’m also working closely with a psychiatrist. Has anyone else experienced this specifically? Did it change after birth? For the better? Or worse?

i have a friend (she’s a 25 year old woman) who’s in the shittiest situation ive ever seen in my life.
it’s a long story, so in short: she got pregnant by a guy who she had only known for one month (at the time). they were coworkers who met at mcdonald’s.
my friend is extremely poor, lives in an inherited family trailer with no utilities, water, sewer, etc. i’m not rich, or even wealthy, but when i have extra money i help her. she doesn’t have any family- they have all died from drugs, cancer, or are in prison. her life is very sad.
anyway, she’s pregnant, extremely poor, unsafe living environment, and on top of all this she told me a few nights ago that the man who impregnated her r*ped a 13 year old child. this alone would have been ammunition to abort if i were her, but she still wants to have a fairytale life with this dude.
i am pro choice. so i support a woman’s decision to keep or abort her child. my friend has been teetering the line of both decisions since she was 6 weeks pregnant (she’s 9 weeks now). at 6 weeks i told her i had abortion pills that she could take. she accepted my offer then back tracked because she said her ex who just got out of prison (not the baby daddy, a different man) said he’d marry her and raise the child as his own- this dude beat her and is addicted to heroin and alcohol. i tell her this is not a good idea, and she’d get more benefits from the state as a single poor mom but she says “i just don’t want to be alone”.
i guess i should add, we live in texas. so my friend didn’t take the abortion pills i offered her because 1) she’s afraid she’ll go to jail & 2) she thinks the r*pist baby daddy is going to suddenly change and be a family man
i’ve explained to her countless times, unless she told someone about the abortion pills, no one will know. now that she’s 9 weeks pregnant the pills are no longer an option though (i think).
she’s always complaining to me how depressed she is and how her depression will negatively impact the baby, she called me one night saying she had a gun to her head because she feels alone. she got on her knees and begged her abusive felon ex to take her back when the r*pist blocked her on his social media and said he wanted nothing to do with her anymore.
this woman’s life is in fucking shambles. i’m getting nervous about this baby of hers.
she had so many opportunities to abort with the pills i gave her.
im an outsider in the situation and don’t know what to do. aside from offering the pills i really don’t know what to do as a friend. not to sound like a monster, but the baby should not be born. the r*pists genes do not deserve to be passed on.
also i feel like when the baby is born, it will be in danger and notifying cps would be the best thing to do for the babies safety, but she’s told me several times that she would kill herself if something like that happened.
thank you to whoever read all this. also, i’d like to add i know this sounds like a rage-bait karma farm story. it’s not. east texas is filled with a lot of people like this unfortunately. i just don’t have anyone to talk to this about so im turning to this sub like i always do.

Warning: this is very long
It’s always been like that for me. For some reason it takes me a LOT longer than my peers to find employment. I often find myself chronically unemployed (even though I have years of experience) for a year or more. To top it off I’m autistic and suffer from severe ADHD with anxiety and depression on top of it.
After I graduated university it took me a year to find a job. Had consistent employment for almost 4 years straight until 2018. During this period I actually had a job lined up before I quit.
Fast forward to 2018. Had a job as a software developer for a well known company (no it’s not FAANG) and they paid pretty well. It was the most money I ever made in my life. Unfortunately things didn’t work out there and the work environment and culture wasn’t for me. I was placed on a team as a new dev and they barely gave me any work. After awhile I hated going to work everyday cause everyone basically just ignored me and I spent most of my time self studying on my own. I found this job through their autism to work program. Before accepting the job I was told that I’d get support and accommodations with a mentor.
My “mentor” was basically useless. She didn’t do a damn thing and would cancel our one on one meetings half the time. Sometimes she wouldn’t even tell me at the last minute. She just never showed up. All she did was report negative feedback from my manager and provided no solutions or recommendations to improve. I was let go cause they felt like I “needed a lot of hand holding” lol. They barely gave me work to do. I would finish my assignments in a day or two max. They made some other bullshit complaints too. I showed up on time and did what I had to do every time. It was awful. I was far far away from home and lived out of state at the time also.
Lost my apartment and had to move back home with my family. Long term unemployment stint #1 begins here (if you don’t count how long it took me to find my first job you can say 2)
Fast forward to September 2019 and a friend recommended me a job as a software developer and I finally moved out again. I taught myself HTML, CSS, JavaScript and PHP to the best of my ability. I was not only learning on the job but maintained their website, ran chron jobs, and troubleshooted issues with site functionality and even the web server. I was literally a one man show. To top it off I was working for $15/hour. To top it off my boss was a prick and would sometimes short my coworker and I money on our checks. My coworker handled all the marketing and promotion. I handled everything related to the website.
Fast forward to June 2020. Of the two of us unfortunately I was the one laid off for whatever reason. My boss just called me and said that they’re laying me off right in the middle of COVID. Since I wasn’t working I could no longer afford rent so I had to move back home. I became super depressed and it took me a little over a year to find a job.
Fast forward to August 2021 and I found a job at a call center. Ended up getting fired and it was my fault sadly. I got fired for yelling and hanging up on a customer. That day I was in a really bad mood and the person on the other line started cursing me out and getting real disrespectful with me. I was happy to be fired. Worked there for only two weeks.
Four months later in December 2021 I landed a job that was closer to home but another shitty call center. Surprisingly I lasted there a year and a half. My mental health was already in the toilet and I was doing everything I could to hold onto this job for dear life. So I sucked it up until I found another job. I wanted to get out that call center so badly since it was nothing but micromanagement and back to back calls.
June 2023 rolls around and I finally started my job in desktop support as a contractor. Offer letter said 6 month contract then when I read it found out it was a 3 month contract to hire and also found out that they shorted me a dollar on the agreed pay rate. I asked for $30/hour and they agreed to it only to find out they changed things last minute. Spoke to the recruiter about the discrepancies and was told that’s the best they can do so I said screw it and took it.
My recruiter told me that they would “definitely” be converting me at the end of the three months but sadly that never happened. I showed up on time everyday and did a good job according to my manager and everyone else (so they said). I even got good reviews from a number of clients I worked with. About two months in I noticed things began to go south. Had a small disagreement and misunderstanding with my manager on a ticket she said I messed up on for whatever reason. Long story short she said the ticket was urgent when nowhere on the ticket said there was a deadline and she made a huge stink about it. Not only did I receive few tickets to begin with but I had to share the one or two tickets I had with a bunch of interns so I barely had anything to do. My other coworkers had more tickets than me yet would rarely put the interns with them. It was always with me which in my head made no sense. I get a call from the recruiter saying that they’re ending my contract early. I asked why and they said it was due to “performance reasons”. At that point I had two weeks left. I worked one of those weeks then one morning left the building during a meltdown. Left my badge, laptop and all their property on the desk and didn’t say a word to anyone. Been looking for work ever since. Sent out hundreds of resumes and so far only had 2 interviews which led to nothing despite both of them saying I did well and they liked me.
Hundreds of applications later and here I am with no job. I’m still looking for work and decided to also start a small business in the meantime. I started a month ago and only had 2 clients so far. Still no luck with applications. I’m 35 now and had to move back home during the pandemic and been here ever since after living on my own for years.
I’m very thankful and grateful for my mother. She’s the only reason why I’m not homeless. Everyday I think about suicide and I’m reaching a point where I might actually go through with it.
I’ve always been behind in life and feel like I progress slower than my peers. Deleted my social media cause I found myself comparing myself to my former classmates and friends achieving the things I tried so hard for and failed miserably.
I also suck at everything I do. After 1300 hours in valorant I only peaked at Gold 2. I’m the worst in my friend group like with every video game and sport. At one point I even paid for a few Valorant coaching lessons which IMO didn’t think were that great. I was always picked last in gym class. At my first job I was the last one to receive an offer to convert full time and the people that joined way after surpassed me despite having good metrics and being top of the leaderboard several times for several weeks.
Honestly at this point I’m ready to give up on life. Feels like I was destined to be a failure. I always felt like my efforts don’t pay off for anything. I failed my career. I failed in dating. I failed in my hobbies. Now I know you shouldn’t compare yourself to others but when I’m the only one I know of in my situation it’s damn near impossible not to. I’m not gonna act like I have the worst life ever but I don’t know of ANYONE my age struggling like this.
Every time I think I’m building momentum some bullshit always happens and every time it feels like I’m knocked back to square one. Feels like building a house that’s in a tornado zone only for my foundation to be knocked to pieces every time and cant afford to move.
I’m just frustrated with life and everything at this point. I hate everything about myself and seriously can’t wait to die. I’d pay someone to kill me. I’m crying while writing this thesis paper of a post. Maybe there’s something very wrong with me. I think I’m slow and stupid. Maybe even borderline retarded. I’m the failure of all failures. Nothing but a talentless garbage can loser bum.
Don’t know what to do. I don’t wanna go back to the hospital but I may have to. Thanks for reading my rant. I needed to get this out since I have no one to talk to.

Hey Hi how you doing. Dont ask how I'm doing because I'm currently crying. I'm F14 and my bf is M16 and to give you any context I went to help him work today at a winery and we had a nice time so he asked my mom if I could go to his house tomorrow and she said no. She barely trusts me at all and doesnt let me go anywhere without severe convincing from other people and not even me. I'm not posting this like "of my mom is such a fucking bitch bla bla bla" because that isnt even the point of this. Now my bf thinks she doesnt trust him. A bit more context going back into my bf's child hood his mom did drugs and other shit and when he was born his heart was fucked up so he had surgery at 2 weeks old, his adoptive mother is abusive at times and doesnt give 2 fucks about his wellbeing, his real mom died when he was 4, his dad is sometimes so pissed he once attacked him with a broken broomstick and his grandmother had to stop his dad while he hid in a closet having a panic attack at 7 fucking years old, he had to bury his childhood dog when he was 11, and so so much more one thing I'm not even going to say because my eyes hurt from crying. Anyways everything just keeps getting worse... He cant keep his money because he spends it and cant save it no matter what he tries, he think so much it gives him headaches and he gets barely any sleep being 3 hours at least, we will barely get to see eachother until we get a house together (in either 2 or 4 years) and he thinks everything is his fault. I've tried everything under the fucking sun to try and help with the thinking because that's all my stupid, useless ass can do and nothing is getting better for him. He had 3 people who genuinely care about him and who he cares about and thats me, his aunt, and his cousin who acts like a brother to him. My grand question for all the redditors who see this is "What the fuck can I do to help him? And will it get better?" Also his parents made him go to therapy when he was 10 and he said he is never and I mean NEVER going back. Please help him
Edit: I will delete this in 2 hours so hopefully none of my friends see this...

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Capable_Goal_6116
Originally posted to TrueOffMyChest
My husband got a vasectomy and didn’t tell me
Trigger Warnings: accusations of infidelity, emotional abuse and manipulation, betrayal
Original Post: May 18, 2024
Throwaway bc my husband knows my main. I don’t know what to do. My (31F) husband (32M) - fake name Chris, and I have been married for four years, together for six. When we first got together we had several long talks about how we both wanted a big family. I wanted to be very upfront that child free is not an option, and I said I wanted to have at least four kids. I’m an only child and know how lonely it is, I also said I wanted to have them about a yeayear and a half apart so they could grow up close.
He always wholeheartedly agreed to this and often made jokes like “whether we have 4 or 6, have as many as we want, it’s your call since you pretty much have to do all the work” and on our wedding day before we left the reception for our honeymoon he whispered “can we get outta here and get started on baby #1?” I loved how excited he seemed. To be clear I didn’t go off my BC until about two months after we were married and I got pregnant soon after with our first daughter Joy.
Joy was a happy pregnancy, long birth, but she was a beautiful, healthy baby. She went through colic which was trying, but other than that she was a happy first addition according to me. I noticed Chris became distant during my first pregnancy, but when I asked him about it he just said he had a lot in his mind being a new father. He said he was still excited, but something changed. For reference, we both work full time, I make about 20K more a year than him, and the five bedroom house that we live in was a gift from my mom who was very excited to be a grandma to many. My job is fully remote, but still offers maternity leave, and I have a nest egg savings for emergencies, and feel it’s important to mention this because I know finances can be a major stress factor when it comes to having kids, but not for me and Chris.
Then Joy came out perfectly, Chris had three months of paternity leave and was home with us for majority of that time. My mom visited a lot, and paid to have cleaners come. There were still a lot of long nights and it was tough for me to breastfeed, but overall nothing unexpected. Chris still seemed distant, but always helped with Joy. We have an agreed open phone policy, so I did check his phone quite often but didn’t find any sign of cheating. He goes through my phone whenever he wants too. I asked if he found me unattractive while pregnant and he assured me no, he loves me and he’s excited for our family.
Fast forward a year after, we’re sleeping through the night and I am back to work, saw my doctor and was cleared to try for bundle of joy #2, and Chris seemed very enthusiastic at this point. He even downloaded an app to track my fertility cycle so we could make the most of my ovulation times.
We had a lot of fun and he was always very passionate, but six months of trying with no pregnancy I started to worry. I’d voice my concerns and Chris would brush them off, so I tried to be patient, but then almost two years passed and Joy is growing up by herself.
I broke down to my mother crying and she agreed to come with me to the doctor to get checked out. I was very emotional and scared, but the doctor assured me everything is fine and that I should be able to conceive without any issues.
I went to Chris with this knowledge and he was very upset I went to a fertility specialist. I explained I thought something might have gone wrong during my last pregnancy, concerned that I was maybe blocked or infertile somehow. He said why not wait and “just let nature take its course” and I said “our little girl is almost three, and growing up by herself.” I reminded him of our plans and he just nodded and said all we can do is try. I asked if he would see a fertility specialist and he got angry, saying there’s nothing wrong with him and we don’t have the money for fertility treatments anyway. This confused me since we do have money, we have my savings and are doing pretty well.
When he went to sleep I decided to go through his phone again and went back through his calendar and call logs. I noticed about eight months after Joy was born there was a blocked day indicating he’d taken off from work, but it was in the middle of the week and I don’t remember any sort of special occasions behind why he’d take this random day off. I went through the call logs and found an office number about a week before and when I googled the number a local business where you could get a vasectomy appeared! I couldn’t believe what I was looking at. I instantly felt cold all over then started to panic.
I woke him up and confronted him. He just stared at me while I went off and admitted babies were harder than he thought and he felt like my first pregnancy took forever.
I couldn’t believe it. I packed my things, Joy and her things and drove to my mom’s house. She is in distress with my sudden appearance and my inability to stop crying. I finally told her yesterday morning what happened and she’s just beside herself. I don’t know what to do, but every time I think about how during sex Chris would talk to me about giving me a baby and he’d had the vasectomy the entire time. I feel so disgusted and stupid. I can’t believe my little girl is going to grow up alone. Chris has been blowing up my phone, but I just keep letting it ring and haven’t read any of his texts.
Edit: to those saying I “coerced” my “poor husband” into agreeing to a big family, nope. I was always open and honest about my dreams, told him it’s okay if he wanted different things, and he not only repetitively agreed and accepted, he also helped me plan, nest, put together the nursery and enthusiastically participated in conversations regarding having multiple children around friends and family, and always said we’d have at least 4. That was our number. Him getting a vasectomy behind my back was a complete shock.
Also, we’ve both always agreed to the open phone policy. I never “betrayed his trust” by going through his phone since I always had his consent to do so and he has mine. We even have the same phone pass code. I never wanted to be in a relationship where we kept secrets from each other. I know other couples feel different, but this is another thing he always 100% claimed he agreed with me on.
I vaguely remember one week where he actually turned me down for sex claiming he had a “head cold” and he didn’t join me in the shower like usual during that time, but I didn’t think anything about it. And no, men never need a wife’s signature to get vasectomy.
Comments
FantasticAnus: There's nothing wrong with child number one changing his mind, but he should have been open and honest about that and said that he wouldn't be having any more children, and then it would have been up to you as to whether you could live with that, or move on from him.
What he did, however, was duplicitous and manipulative. I don't think I could stay with a man who was so willing to keep such an enormous lie from me, one which impacts me, my daughter and my future enormously.
MyUsernameIsMehh: He has every right to not want more kids, you have every right to want more.
What he did not have the right to do was fool you for years. Men who have had vasectomies but hide it and "try for a baby" are beyond disgusting. Their wives think something is wrong with them, they go to specialists and sometimes spend a LOT of money on fertility treatments.
He's a spineless little shit (pardon my words, but it's true) who pushed you to have breakdowns over this.
He had every right to get a vasectomy, he didn't need your permission, but he had NO RIGHT to hide it and pretend you two were trying for another child.
 
Update: May 24, 2024
Some of you made some comments about my mom gifting my husband and I a house, paying for occasional cleaning services implying that Chris feels somehow emasculated by this, also implying I am “too financially dependent on my mom.” I make very good money, I have a sizable savings and don’t need any help, my mom was excited to buy this house for us as a wedding present. My dad passed away when I was young, he was wealthy and left my mom everything, so she shares his love since I’m her only kid. I make more money than Chris and always have. Yes his name is on the house, so yeah I’m gonna get screwed over in the divorce.
Some of you complained I “broke his trust” by going through his phone. He goes through my phone too. We have the same passcode. Some comments called this agreement between us unhinged, which to me is bizarre. Chris, I thought, was my soulmate, my husband and best friend. We don’t have secrets. I thought. Isn’t that the whole point of marriage? To finally have one person in the whole world you can tell everything to? To always be on the same team? Obviously I was wrong, and as many of you pointed out, that kind of love, trust and openness doesn’t really exist, and none of that matters now.
Chris and Joy seemed fine to me, but in hindsight there’s always been a hesitation on his part. I always thought it was just typical since the short while my dad was alive in my life I don’t really remember him being affectionate or warm. He was nice and played with me sometimes, but I don’t remember being held by him very much. I asked Chris many times if everything was okay when I noticed he was distant. He always said things were great, and give an excuse; just tired, work is draining, no big deal.
We’re in the US, and here a man can go get a vasectomy at any time. I don’t know what Chris told his doctor. For all I know he took his wedding ring off and gave a sob story, or probably just walked in and asked for the procedure. It doesn’t matter.
I’m really thankful for my mother. She’s heartbroken for me, and like many of you, she already knows my marriage is over. There’s been a lot of long nights of me crying that she’s endured.
I’m numb when I’m not crying, and keep getting this creepy feeling that nothing matters. We’re getting a divorce. I finally called Chris and he sobbed he was sorry, said he might be able to get it reversed. I’ve read a lot about vasectomies since my last post, and sometimes it can’t be reversed. It’s always a risk.
Again, it doesn’t matter. It’s not actually about the vasectomy. It’s that the person who I thought was the one person in the world that I could trust, that I was on the same page as, literally writing the book together, made this decision without me and kept it from me and the lied for years. I really thought what we had was true love. Now I’m pretty certain that doesn’t even exist.
Chris has not offered any explanation. He cried, begged my forgiveness and said again that he could get it reversed. Even if he can, the rest is irreversible. He never once answered my question. It’s really painful to talk to him, so after three times of asking and him each time dodging answering, and begging forgiveness, I finally just said to please leave the house and told him he’d hear from my lawyer.
He texted that he’s packed and left, and I haven’t heard from him since. He never once asked about Joy.
My lawyer says I might wind up paying alimony, but I might be able to get the house since it was a gift from my mother and Chris has never made any financial contribution. He also says Chris committed a kind of infidelity since he went behind my back to have this life altering procedure and admitted it, so that might help me.
To everyone telling me it’s gonna be okay, and I can still have more children…all of that seems impossible right now. My heart is broken. I’ve never experienced such sadness and the only relief is when I’m playing with my daughter. Her happiness is infectious. She is blissfully unaware, having the time of her life at grandma’s, but unlike her father she actually asks where’s da da?
I called work and took a medical leave of absence. I found a therapist.
My mom has offered to stay with me for a while, as well as hire a nanny.
Comments
BrightAd306: I agree with you. It’s not the vasectomy. It’s lying about it and defrauding you. Wanting your money, but not being a true partner.
Listen to your lawyer. Do what he says, and you’ll come out the other side. Even if you pay alimony, it won’t be forever
DangerNoodleDandy: I agree. The vasectomy and the fact that he hid it are a symptom of a greater issue.
 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/hopefulaga1n
My ex-wife [36 F] still keeps trying to get back together with me [36 M] and our daughters [16 F] want that to happen too
Thanks to u/mjolnirstrike for suggesting this BoRU and u/Minute_Point_949 & u/stevvandy for finding the links
TRIGGER WARNING: infidelity, manipulation
Original Post May 7, 2016
Doesn't really sound like a big problem, right? Yeah, well, while I wish I could just plain tell her to piss off and never bother me again, there is the matter of us having two daughters and sharing custody, so I can't excise her from my life on a permanent basis.
Not without removing our daughters too.
We married fairly early in our lives, back when we were 20 and we had been dating for three years before that. Our daughters were born in the very first year of the marriage, and there were some complications which meant my ex-wife would have difficulty conceiving again. Didn't matter to me at the time, because I was just glad she made it healthy and fine through the whole ordeal and that we already had two beautiful baby girls to love and raise up.
The marriage lasted for 9 years. Ended when I divorced her for cheating. I have absolutely no tolerance for it and I don't believe in forcing myself to suffer needlessly for shit that wasn't my fault to begin with. While this might sound incredulous to some folks, any love I had for my ex-wife was pretty much killed when I found out about her cheating and the details behind it. So yeah, this isn't a thread about me moving on from her. I've done that 7 years ago. Hell, I don't even hate her, I just don't give a damn about what goes on in her life unless it concerns our daughters.
The problem is that it's only me that moved on from the whole thing. The ex-wife, her family, and even our daughters, have kept trying to get us back together even though I have made it plain for everyone that I have no interest of ever doing that. Me not dating at first for a few years after the divorce might have been giving them false hope, but I sure as fuck wasn't going to jump into another relationship so soon after. Not with our daughters to look after.
They were my number one priority, besides my own issues which stemmed from the ex's cheating. Those issues, by the by, got resolved with the help of friends, family and some counseling. So yeah, that's over and done with.
I have no issue in communicating with our girls. None whatsoever. Anything else? They can understand it just fine. There's never been any fighting, no yelling, no nonsensical teenage rebellion (thus far), no tantrums thrown and so on. Pretty great, right? Except this whole thing. They know about her cheating on me, and it was their mother in fact who told them about it, some three years ago or so. I imagine she's been feeding them some kind of bullshit since then and I've asked her countless times to stop with it, that it wasn't helping anyone, that it only prevented them from moving on.
But the ex-wife didn't stop, she apparently just got subtler about it.
In all the years since we divorced, she hasn't dated or slept with anyone else. While I suppose she thinks that admirable, I don't.
To be honest, I find it kind of insulting. When we were married, she fucked someone else, but now she's just fine going without sex for seven years?
Whatever. Not that it matters.
While I could ignore the occasional mentions of their mother, of how well she looks, of them showing me photos they took with her, obviously all dolled up for my sake, it's gotten worse lately. Why? Because I have a girlfriend. Clemence is not the first since the divorce, but she is the most serious relationship I had since my marriage ended. She also happens to be eight years my junior. Before getting together as a couple, we knew each other for four years through a shared hobby. So basically it was a gradual transition from being friends to being involved with each other. I can honestly say I love this woman. It was a surprise to me when I realized that, because while I didn't really want to admit it to myself, I was afraid for a time that what my ex-wife did to me damaged me on some fundamental level and rendered me incapable of ever truly loving someone else, like I once did her.
Initially, my daughters had very little to say about our relationship, much like they didn't comment anything on the previous two I had post-divorce.
But then they started coming home (ahead of the schedule we set up in advance) and they'd find me and Clemence together (nothing compromising, not sex or anything of the sort). Then came the grumbling. Then came the "Why is she here?" question. Then came "It's not fair to mom what you're doing," as if I was actually doing this solely to spite or hurt their mother. So I sat them down and talked. And I talked and I talked, but they're just not getting it.
They simply won't give up on this preposterous fantasy of theirs where I get back with their mother.
Clemence, thank God, has been understanding and isn't upset by their behavior. She's basically saying to give them time, but I kind of doubt that will work. It hasn't so far, so I have no idea why more time would change anything.
Anyway, since I'm really all out of ideas, I figured I might as well ask you folks here if any one of you might have an idea how to handle this.
Is there even a way, an approach of any sort, that could work on my daughters realizing I will not, under any circumstances, get back with their mother?
Edit: more information.
tl;dr Wife cheated, became ex-wife. Our daughters keep trying to talk me into getting back together and aren't listening to a word I say about it never happening. They started acting grouchy and resentful recently once they realized that my relationship with another woman has turned very serious. Do I play the waiting game and hope they mature past this kind of behavior or is there something I've overlooked, something I could do to make them understand that even without this person in my life, I will never get back with their mother?
RELEVANT COMMENTS
[deleted]

You need a chat with your daughters.
You say that whilst your mother and you are good friends, and have worked together to give your daughters a stable upbringing, there is no way in hell you are getting back together. You should say that if their mother thinks or says anything to the contrary, it's not going to happen. You say you like Clemence and if things go the way you want them to, your future will be with her, not with their mother

OOP

Already did that, dozens of times.
It just doesn't seem to be reaching them at all.
At one point, that was about a year back, they asked me why I don't want to get back together with their mother. When I brought up her cheating, and I admit that at the time I wasn't sure if I should have done that but I honestly couldn't think of anything else, it turned out their mother had already told them about it several years back! They keep using the same approach every time of how she's faithful to me now. When I pointed out to them that she can't be faithful to me given that we're not together to begin with, they just ignore that.
I have talked with my ex-wife about this on numerous occasions, possibly a hundred times by now, about not bringing our adult lives and messing up our daughters'. In one ear and out the other, as they say. At one point, I admit, I even contemplated going to court for sole custody, but I was advised it would not work out well for me, so I dropped that approach.

~
[deleted]

Do your daughters know the reason why you divorced? Do they know your ex cheated on you? I don't ever favor telling young kids that, but your daughters are nearly adults. It seems they are laboring under some delusion about why the divorce happened (likely fed to them by their mother without your rebuttal). Perhaps setting the record straight on that regard might help. You don't have to be disrespectful about her; you can be factual and still get the point across.

OOP

Yes and yes. I actually tried telling them about it a year ago, only to find out that their mother told them several years back, when they were just a few months shy of turning 13. They know their mother cheated on me.
Now, here's the thing that I think is messing with their minds: they never saw their mother as anything but loving towards me or them. Or at least they don't remember it if they did see her acting coldly and distant with me.
During her affair, and yes it was an affair, not just a one-time thing (not that I wouldn't have divorced her either way), she was very much the opposite of loving in bedroom. They never really saw that, nor should they have. My approaches for intimacy were often rebuffed and I felt more and more dejected until one day I realized, with the help of a very close and very good friend, that there was nothing wrong with me and therefore something had to be wrong with her, which is what led me to discovering the affair, because I started looking for reasons why our love life had suddenly dropped so much in quality and quantity.
And it wasn't just sex. There were the small things missing from our daily lives too. I know it sounds silly, but we always kissed at the front door, in plain sight, before either of us went to work. That's something, that only now in retrospect became plain to see, that was missing.
Bottom line is, their mother denied me even the most basic of affections while giving it to someone else outside of our marriage.
To me, that's unforgivable.
They don't understand that, they couldn't, not even if I told them (which I rather wouldn't), and how hurtful it can be when you realize that your spouse didn't really give a damn about you all that much.
So all this? All the regret and remorse and pining for us to get back together? To me, it's worthless. What's the point? Where was all this supposed love and guilt and remorse when it should have mattered?

Update Apr 1, 2017
It's been a while since I was first here and I was reminded recently that I owed an update to the kind and good people here who helped me with our troubles.
A lot of things has happened. Among those things, my daughters actually stumbled across my post. I had no idea they even browsed Reddit, let alone this place. When I came home one day from work I found them crying. They pretty much jumped me, hugged me, wouldn't let me go and begged me to forgive them. Sadly, they had read one of my replies and found out the dreadful extent of my ex-wife's affair and how much it had devastated me.
It took us a while, but we got through it, as a family. There was nothing for me to forgive, they're still young and they love their mother, who took that love and used it to manipulate them. That's on her, not them. There was some much needed counseling, but after several months, the woman who was helping us heal and move on has said that nothing more needed to be done, and they should only check in with her once in a while, rather than continue their weekly sessions.
We're closer than we were before, but their relationship with their mother has suffered for it. Which I think is completely understandable, but I still cautioned them about lingering too much on what she did, since I had gotten over what she did all those years ago. That was something also resolved in counseling (both their own and our shared ones), so it's all behind us now.
I had a brief confrontation with my ex-wife about it and made it clear that she was to not talk about this getting back together nonsense any more with our daughters. I can't tell if it really got through to her, but my daughters have not been pestered about me since then. Or they simply ignore their mother and don't bring it up at home. Either way, so long as my daughters are doing fine, I could care less about what my ex-wife is doing.
Since the situation had improved, things had also become much better between my daughters and my girlfriend, so much that they actually started talking with her (rather than just exchange terse greetings and goodbyes), even occasionally asking for tips on something (girly stuff, of course), and I can't tell you how much it warmed my heart to see it happening for the first time.
I'll admit that also helped me push my thoughts in the direction of proposing to my girlfriend, who had been incredibly supporting and understanding through all of this. We had known each other for a long time now, spent so much time as a couple, and after all this mess, I didn't really think there was anything more I could to to express my love for her. However, I was beaten to the punch.
Two months ago, Clemence, together with my daughters, surprised me one day and proposed to me. I have to say that I felt very odd, but also very happy. Not just the proposal, but that my daughters had actually worked with my girlfriend on surprising me that day with dinner and a night out. To put it simply, I was blown away. It was a small and private ceremony, with only our closest friends and family attending. Currently, we're also expecting, and my daughters are looking forward to having a baby brother or sister to spoil.
tl;dr: My daughters had found my previous post and saw in one of the replies how deeply I was hurt by their mother's cheating. Asked for forgiveness, there was no need for it. We worked through our issues together, both at home and in some counseling, and we healed from it and got much better. Even their relationship with my girlfriend had improved, so much that one day they helped her arrange a nice night for us, where she proposed to me. We're married and currently expecting, with my daughters eagerly looking forward to having a younger sibling to spoil rotten.
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/EffectiveRepair8231
Originally posted to AmIOverreacting
AIO: I feel like a Dad a the daycare I work at is hitting on me (20f)
Trigger Warning: sexual assault, stalking, sexual harassment, mentions of CSA
Original Post: May 20, 2024
Hi! I work at a daycare, and I’ve noticed that one of the children's parents always makes inappropriate comments to me. At first, I thought he was just one of those people who always compliment others or that he just wanted to have a friendly relationship with his kids' educators, but now I think it’s more than that.
During my first weeks there, I was always assigned to his younger daughter’s group (the babies), so I would see him often. At first, it was brief friendly talk, but it really escalated when I started working with the older kids (4-year-olds). His other daughter, let’s call her Emmy, and I clicked right away when we found out we’re birthday twins. She always wants me to play with her and asks for hugs literally every two minutes. Whenever her dad comes to pick up his kids, she always makes sure to give me a big hug and tells her dad that we’re best friends.
Last month, Emmy’s dad and I ran into each other at the grocery store and started small talk. We were mostly talking about Emmy, and he just kept saying how much she loves me and that she wants me to come over to their house. I said something like, “Oh, she’s so cute. I love spending time with her too,” and tried to end the conversation, but he just kept talking. I noticed him looking at my chest a couple of times, which was one of the reasons I wanted to leave. He then offered me a ride, and although I initially declined, he kept pushing it, so I accepted. I didn’t let him see my house; I told him to drop me off downtown.
Since then, I keep running into him, but to the point where I don’t think it’s a coincidence. He doesn’t live in the same neighborhood as me (I live near downtown). In fact, when he dropped me off the first time, he kept going on and on about how he could never live somewhere as far away as I do. So why do I keep seeing him? In our conversations, he always makes sure to compliment my physical appearance or mention my age and how “young and smart” I am. It obviously makes me uncomfortable, but for the sake of his daughters, especially Emmy, I don’t really say anything. I have tried to set some boundaries, but it’s really uncomfortable. I jokingly said once, “Well, if I were your age, I don’t think I’d date someone as young as me,” and he was like, “Well, good thing I would,” and he laughed.
I casually mentioned this in a conversation with one of my colleagues, and she said something like, “Oh, he’s a flirt; that’s what he does.” She kept talking about how handsome he is (he is handsome but also a married dad of two). I asked if there’s anything we, as educators, could do if, hypothetically, a parent is being too friendly/flirty with us, and she basically said no.
Anyway, it’s gotten hot outside, so I’ve started wearing sundresses, shorts, and crop tops, and he always compliments my outfits when he sees me and says he likes seeing my bellybutton piercing out (EW). Also, Emmy has told me that her dad said I’ll be their nanny for the weekends when the daycare is closed. I don’t know if he actually said that because she’s 4, but I don’t even want to ask because I don’t want to give him ideas if he didn’t actually say it.
He has tried multiple times to give me his phone number to “call him if there’s anything,” and I always gently reminded him that we can communicate through the daycare app. He always says that he would rather call me directly than through the app. He was being super pushy, and I felt a little trapped, so I gave him my phone number. He texts me all the time, asking what I’m doing, etc. I have FaceTimed his daughters a couple of times, but it just feels wrong. I briefly talked about this to a friend, and she said that she would’ve told his wife. I don’t even think I have the guts to do that. Ever since my friend told me that, I started casually bringing up his wife in conversations. He would always change the subject or say she’s not here.
Anyway, all this is to ask: what should I do? Am I imagining things? I feel trapped. I can’t lose my job; I’m scared that it’ll take me forever to find another one. Also, all the kids love me, and I love them. I’ve really gotten attached to them. I love Emmy too, and I mostly feel bad for her. What would you do in this situation? I’ve asked, and you can’t ban a family from attending a daycare, so that option is out of the window. Also, we can’t be on our phones 24/7, so it’s extremely hard to get “evidence.” Anything helps. Thank you!
I don’t know i’m I’m posting this on the right subs, if not sorry about that
Edit: I’ve never seen his wife, he’s the one who does everything. Emmy has mentioned her a few times (saying things like “Mommy got me this shirt” or something) but I don’t even know what she looks like. He doesn’t talk about her unless I bring her up.
Edit 2: About the crop tops, we are allowed to wear them at work with long pants. Same thing with shorts, we can wear them with a non-cropped shirt. 90% of his comments about my piercing were outside of work, when I would run into him. Also, I blocked him. I don’t know if he noticed, but he’s blocked.
Edit 3: A lot of people are asking me why/what I am scared of. I don’t have an exact answer. I’ve had a lot of traumatizing experiences with men so I don’t feel comfortable around any man in general. I don’t have any guy friends. It’s like I think of all the things they could do to me if they wanted to, then I get scared/uncomfortable. I know I have a fawn trauma response and I am working on it, I really am. Also, I have work on Friday (or Wednesday maybe) and I will talk to my supervisors and update.
Relevant Comments
Commenter: “That wouldn’t be appropriate” seems like a good response to 90% of his requests. I would get used to being comfortable saying that to pushy male customers.

OOP: i say that sometimes and he’s like “oh well you’re best friends with emmy so we’re basically family” and i get scared so i just laugh it off or i try to end the conversations

OOP responds to multiple redditors on not accepting any more things from the father and speak with her supervisor about her concerns

OOP: i do say those things and he says that we’re like family because i’m “friends” with his daughter. i don’t always answer and he’ll sometimes bring it up when he drops off/picks up his kids and i say things oh i was busy or i didn’t see it. i keep telling myself that this time ill be direct and just say no but i just get so scared. it’s not like im full on flirting with him, i do reject him but not as firmly as i should i guess. whenever he brings up dating i say things like im not looking for a bf. and for the facetime thing, one time he was being really insistent and i said no and the text time i saw them at work, emmy asked me why i didn’t pick up the call and he said in front of her that i was being mean that day and that i didn’t wanna talk to her. she ended up crying. i tried telling my supervisor and she said that she never noticed any weird behaviour from him and he’s a very friendly man. she asked me if i had any proof which i didn’t. idk what else to do

~

i tried to talk to one of my supervisors about it but rn they’re always busy (they’re the new owners of the daycare so they’re trying to figure everything out) so it’s never a good time. i am alone with my group. i see him in the morning when he’s dropping off emmy and in the afternoon outside when he’s picking his kids up. our conversation in the morning are more brief bc all the parents are coming at the same time so there’s not much time. in the afternoon, he always tells emmy to keep playing with her friends just to buy more time and when i tell him i have to go back to watching everyone he says that there are plenty of other educators who are watching them and not to worry about it. i try to say things like hey i really have to go back to work/now’s not a right time but it’s like there’s nothing i can say to get through to him. im the one in charge of emmy i have to be the one to talk to him about emmy’s day etc

 
Update #1: May 23, 2024
Hello everyone,
I want to thank everyone who gave me advice. I tried to read every comment. Before I give you an update, I need to clarify a few things:

1. I don’t work at a school; it's a private, family-owned (i think) daycare. I have three managers—two women and one man. They became the new owners in January. I primarily interact with one of the female managers. I've tried to discuss this situation with her, but it’s never the right time. For example, I’d knock on her office door and say I needed to talk about Emmy’s dad. She’d say she’s busy and ask me to come back later. When I did, she’d apologize and ask to talk the next day. She also suggested texting, but I didn't feel comfortable telling her everything through text.
   
2. Some suggested having another teacher watch my group when he arrives, but that’s not possible. In the afternoon, after nap time, we take the kids outside until their parents pick them up. All educators need to stay outside to supervise. When parents arrive, I discuss their child's day and hand over their keychain. It’s difficult because he always approaches me when I’m distracted, so I can’t warn a coworker.
   
3. Rides: The first time I saw him outside of work was at the grocery store. He recognized me, we chatted briefly, and he offered me a ride. I declined, but he insisted, saying it was ungentlemanly to let me carry groceries alone. He paid for my groceries and drove me home, despite my discomfort. I sat in the backseat, but still. I shouldn’t have said yes. I was just so weirded out by the entire situation. The second time was at a gas station. After hanging out with a friend in his neighborhood, I stopped there for a drink. He saw me and again offered a ride. He was pushy, so I reluctantly agreed. That was the last time I accepted a ride from him.
   
4. Clothing: Most of his comments about my piercing happened outside of work. I don’t wear revealing clothes to work; I mostly wear sweats. Occasionally, I wear a long sleeve crop top with sweatpants, which my managers don’t mind. We’re allowed to wear mom shorts. But again, I most of the time I wear sweats.
   
5. Facetime: I’ve Facetimed his daughters three times, and each call lasted less than five minutes. I realize now that this was inappropriate, but yes it happened.
   
6. Texting: I don’t always respond to his texts. If he texts ten times, I might reply three times. The thing is, he often asks in person why I don’t respond, telling me he had something important to say. He’d sometimes say that in front of Emmy, then say, “You see that Emmy, she’s not nice to Daddy. She doesn’t want to talk to me.”
   
7. I live in Canada. Some suggested carrying pepper spray for protection, but it’s illegal here, so that’s not an option.
   
8. I don’t know his exact age, but I’d guess late 30s to mid-40s. I’ve never seen his wife; some suggested they might be separated. Maybe. Emmy has mentioned her mom before, but she seems closer to her dad.
   
9. The dating comment: I had ZERO idea my comment could be seen as flirting. I thought I was indirectly turning him down. When the topic of dating came up, I said I didn’t want a relationship. He joked that we’d get along great, and I responded by saying “Don’t you think you’re a little too old for me?” And he said, jokingly, “Oh, man. Dont say that. You’re very mature.” That’s when I said that I wouldn’t date someone my age if I were his age.
   

Update: I was only scheduled on Friday this week but ended up working today too. I texted my manager saying that I have something very important to tell her about a parent and that I'm afraid my safety could be compromised. She asked me to come to her office before work to talk about it.
I was very scared because reading the comments made me realize that I could lose my job because I gave him my number. But I still told her everything (looking back, I missed a few things, but I told her the most important things). I told her about how, in the beginning (when I was assigned to his 2-year-old daughter's group), he was very friendly and nice to me, but it escalated when I started caring for Emmy. I told her about the grocery incident, the gas station incident, and seeing him near my neighborhood.
She kind of "defended" him by saying that I live near downtown, so it’s not a miracle to run into someone there. I then brought up the fact that, yes, I understand that, but he’s told me that he enjoys staying in his neighborhood and that I live so far away, and he doesn’t understand how I'm able to work at a job so far away, so it was weird to see him so much. I think it made her understand more. I told her about the comments about my appearance. I asked her if it was possible to get assigned to another group, and she said yes.
I told her about me giving him my number after feeling pressured, and she said that I shouldn’t have done that, that it’s very dangerous to give out personal information like that. She also said that, especially with my job, all communication must be through the app. She said that she was a little more upset at the dad because he’s been attending that daycare for almost four years, and he knows that parents are not allowed to do that.
I then told her about how he makes Emmy play with her friends when it’s time to go just to talk to me longer. She said that since I won’t be assigned to Emmy’s group, I won’t even have to talk to him at all. She said that she’ll take care of it and let the other girls know to keep an eye on him.
I told her about the Facetimes and how he told Emmy that I was mean for not answering one time and how he made her cry. She only said that that was out of line. I asked if it was possible to “ban” him from attending, and she said maybe. She doesn’t have any solid proof (I showed her some text messages, but she said that he was being friendly in the messages and that there was nothing sexual). She said that most of this was basically hearsay, and she doesn’t have concrete proof of him being an actual predator.
As for Emmy, we played together on the playground as usual. I think the hardest part for me is to slowly distance myself from her. I did, however, encourage her to play with her friends, but she would always come back every five minutes to ask to play with me. When her dad arrived, he greeted me and asked me about Emmy’s day and her keychain. I said that I did not take care of her today and pointed to the girl that did. I then got up to get Emmy to tell her to leave. He tried to stop me, but I just kept walking. I didn’t really give him time to talk to me. When I got Emmy, I gave her a hug, then stayed on the other side of the playground, and they left. I know it’s not much, but at least I avoided an interaction with him today.
I think that’s it. I tried to answer everything.
Edit: He’s never driven me home, I would always ask to drop me off downtown. Typo sorry!
Comments
Commenter: If he texts you, tell him that you got a memo from work that says all interaction with parents must go through the app with no exceptions for legal and safety reasons and that you can't risk your job. Then block him.
Or just block him.
 
Update #2: May 24, 2024
Hi, I saw some comments asking for an update, so I wanted to share what happened because I am too ashamed to tell someone in real life. I had work from yesterday 8 AM to 5 PM, then went straight to the gym to work out with a friend. I got there around 6 PM and worked out until about 8:30 PM. I was walking home (I live about 10 minutes away from my gym) when I heard someone behind me. Looking back, I know I shouldn’t have walked home, but I didn’t think about it in the moment. I had music in my ears, so I didn’t know if someone was talking to me or on the phone, so I just kept walking. I felt the person getting closer and immediately thought, “Oh my God, what if it’s him?” I started walking a little faster.
After about 2 minutes, the person tapped me on the shoulder. When I turned around, it was him. My heart dropped. I immediately froze. I had practiced what to say if I ever got into this situation, but of course I had to forget everything. He acted like we ran into each other and said, “Hey, it’s nice seeing you.” I said, “Hi, nice seeing you, but I have to go.” He complimented my hair (I recently dyed it) and said it looked good on me. I said a quick thank you and tried to leave. He then grabbed my wrist and said, “I don’t like when you act like that.” I just froze up; I couldn’t move. He asked why I don’t take care of Emmy anymore. He said that she constantly asks about me at home and that I make her cry. I stuttered and said I didn’t know, that I’m not the one who decides. I said I have to go now, sorry. He then asked if I blocked him. I said I really can’t talk right now.
He then blurted out that he saw me working out. He was doing all of this while grabbing my wrist, mind you. I didn’t know what to say, so I repeated that I had to go. He started looking at me up and down in a disgusting way. He was staring at my boobs while smiling. He then started caressing my arms. One arm stopped at my waist, and the other one kept caressing my arm. He would sometimes move it to my chest and touch me there. I don’t know why I didn’t just punch him in the face. I just could. not. move. Before you ask, I wasn’t wearing anything revealing. I had on a hoodie and sweatpants. I even removed my belly piercing because I don’t like this type of attention.
I eventually quietly said, “Can you please stop?” He looked at me, smiled, and then left. I’ve been getting sexually assaulted by men since the age of 7. I promised myself after getting sexually assaulted at 18 by a friend that I would never let it happen again. Now this. I don’t know why this keeps happening. Most of the time, I feel like my body isn’t even mine, just for someone else to use whenever they feel like it, no matter if I want it or not. Maybe it was my fault because I shouldn’t have walked home knowing I had a “stalker”. Maybe it’s my fault because I didn’t tell him to leave me alone earlier. Maybe it’s my fault because I am 20 years old and I can’t fucking say no. I know he didn’t full-on grab my tits and squeeze them, but I feel so so violated. I am too ashamed to reveal this to anyone. I told my boss I was sick to avoid going to work for a couple of days.
I went to the police station, but they said there wasn’t anything they could do legally because he didn’t commit actual crimes and that I didn’t really have any proof. I just feel like they didn’t take me seriously. They gave me tips to be more careful like don’t walk late at night, change your number, don’t have the same routine, etc., but that’s it. They won’t give me a restraining order. I’ll be honest, I didn’t understand half of the terminology they were using. But from what I understood, we’re both adults so the texting and Facetimes aren’t incriminating enough. I guess I’ll just stay home. I feel so dirty. I thought I had everything under control because I found a way to avoid him at work, but I guess I was wrong. I genuinely thought that I found a way to make everything stop.
The worst part is I saw some comments saying that this whole situation could escalate if he finds out that I’m avoiding him and I didn’t believe them. Again, I was wrong. I don’t know if I’m looking for advice or sympathy, but I don’t have anyone in my life who could help. Maybe some friends, but I am just so ashamed and embarrassed to say that a man was “groping” me and I basically let it happen because I was scared. It’s just humiliating. As for my family, knowing my mom, she would most likely slut-shame me and say it’s my fault. But yeah, here’s the update I guess. I don’t know if I’ll update after this, mainly because I don’t know what else to do.
Edit: (copying and pasting this from one of my replies because I can see how it looks): i posted about him 4 days ago but i started having doubts about him stalking be like a month ago i think. i talked to my manager wednesday and i got assigned to another group. i didn’t interact with him wednesday and yesterday. HE is the one saying that his daughter is crying about not seeing me. i know it’s not true, he keeps saying stuff like this. saying things about his daughter to make me feel bad because he knows we’re close. when this incident happened, i went straight to the police station near my home to tell them what happened (bc it’s opened day and night). i asked if with what i have i can have a restraining order and they said no. i know im updating quick but i genuinely don’t have anyone i can talk to about this
Edit 2: Okay I think I’ll just quit my job stay with a friend for now. I’ll send an email explaining my situation with my boss and try to find a stay at home job. Thank you all
 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

I am NOT The OOP is u/RAkindoflosthere
Planning to ghost him after finding out he’s cheating on me
Originally posted to Infidelity confessions rant self
TRIGGER WARNING: infidelity, property damage, emotional manipulation, mentions of sexual assault
Planning to ghost him after finding out he’s cheating on me March 4, 2022
Found out my boyfriend was cheating a few weeks ago. Been spiraling since. Literally only running off of vengeance and pure disgust.
I got this weird gut feeling and checked his phone while he was asleep. Those 20 minutes locked in the bathroom felt like years, and the shame keeps me from talking to anyone about it. I moved across the country to be with him, so I’m all alone. No friends or family here.
He woke me up the next morning with kisses and breakfast and has been doing so a lot, lately. Probably the guilt.
He even bought me flowers for the first time ever. After me hinting at wanting them for years.
He thought my quiet crying was out of happiness. He even brought up buying a house for us, something with enough space for potential future children.
I’m still going through the motions. Making his breakfast and protein shake everyday, packing his lunch, making sure dinner is almost ready when he comes home from the gym.
What makes me the angriest is that I really, genuinely thought he wouldn’t do something like this. He watched his father cheat on his mother and father children out of their marriage, all while she struggled with infertility her entire life (my partner isn’t her biological son) and never had her own. She dedicated her life to the two of them and passed away of ovarian cancer shortly before we met.
Sometimes I think about whether she regretted staying with her husband or not. We have a small shrine in her honor and something makes me look at and expect guidance. I love the man she raised and hate the one her husband did. But they’re both him, and he’s a grown ass man more than capable of self control, so I decided to walk away.
Next week my car will be picked up and shipped back home, and I got first class tickets for me and my dog on his dime. He’ll come back home from work and everything I brought will be gone, along with me.
The only thing I think I might regret is not somehow being able to see his reaction when he walks through the door and realizes what’s going, lol.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
Future_Ad8467

I'm sorry you're going through this. It's the hardest thing to let go. As hopeless as it can feel sometimes, it does get better. Take your time in the beginning, but I think it's therapeutic to confront him, eventually. Ghosting doesn't provide closure for you. In my experience, confronting the problem, head on, gave me a sense of closure. I try to take everything that happens as a life lesson. Good luck with everything

OOP

I personally don’t believe in closure. I got all that I needed when I realized he was untrustworthy

~
Odd_One_9972

Do you have access to his phone/computer? Install a keylogger, then you can not only see what he's saying to you, but to the other APs as well. I put a keylogger on my ex's phone/computer when I caught him cheating. He was such a dumbass, and seeing the shit he was saying, the lies he was spewing, made me grateful I dropped his ass.

OOP

I do, but I don’t think it would make a difference for me. His entire “relationships” with the APs was lies.

Everything from his name, age, college degree, occupation, city, height, and dick size. He even told one he was married and his wife was pregnant with twins. I almost had a heart attack thinking I was an AP too and he had a family out there somewhere.

~
Suspicious_Bear_6634

If he can go after you, you should probably leave a note or a sign that you're leaving him because of his cheating. Seeing that you up and left without a known reason (from his pov) might push him to follow you home. If he knows the reason and knows that he has no chance in hell in getting you back, it might delay a possible confrontation.

OOP

you’re right. I’ve been considering just leaving a sticky note with a list of all the different girls names and the apartment key beside it. Simple and effective

Suspicious_Bear_6634

Fuck, multiple girls?? Draw a little middle finger beside them while you're at it. And make sure there are little to no supplies (food, toiletries, cleaning stuff) left and leave the house dirty so that he can appreciate how much you did for the asshole.

OOP

7 of them to be precise. I’ll have to rush and get out within a certain time frame but I might just settle for shrimp in the curtain rods. He’s really sensitive to smells lol

I lied to my boyfriend everyday and saved the money he gave me March 4, 2022
Almost every day my boyfriend sends me money for lunch, gas, something. I thought he was just really kind. Turns out he was cheating and giving me $$ made him feel less guilty, as though he didn’t beg me to move across the country with him where I know no one.
Once I found out I wanted to immediately confront him but was scared of the outcome since the apartment was only in his name and again, I know no one here.
Now I just save every dime of what he sends to be able to pay for the $3000 moving fees to go back home without hurting my own pocket too much.
Breaking my heart, destroying my ability to trust & scaring me off from men I can handle, but messing with my finances? Nah. never.
The transport company is coming next wednesday to take my car, and my plane tickets for me and my dog have been bought. Gonna keep up my happy act and do the usual cooking of dinner and scrubbing his back and poof on Wednesday like I never knew him. Its the only form of revenge I could do that wouldnt haunt me. Good riddance!

Edit: A few asked for details. There’s 7+ other women, everything he told them was a lie. Name, age, height, city, occupation. All of it.
The only common denominator was that he bought us all the exact same lingerie set for his birthday in January. 🙃 And specifically requested I hang it up in our closet where it’s viewable. Forgiveness is not on the table. He’ll be surprised, but I doubt he’ll be hurt.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
purejones

I look forward to it, how did you find out if it’s not too personal?

OOP

Woke up randomly in the middle of the night and “he’s up to no good” was all I could think about. I sleep like a literal baby and never, ever wake up like that. Took his phone and locked myself in the bathroom while he was asleep and found it all.

Friendship break ups are so much worse than relationship breakups March 5, 2022
I’ll be single again pretty soon and I’m looking forward to it but also not. Like yay! I finally can cook when/how I want to and don’t have to split chores and can do everything on my own my way.
But thats the only good part.
I’ve been on my own since I was 16 and I’ve turned out (mostly) fine, I have a paid off house and car, cute dog, debt free, and I’m finishing up my masters degree at 25. It could be worse.
But I’m lonely. I’m not on speaking terms with my family and had a huge fall out with my lifelong friends a couple years ago. I haven’t tried making friends since bc part of me hopes one day I can find a way to fix that friendship.
Plus I’m moving around so much that making friends is pointless. I’m not good at long distance anything.
I never prided myself on romantic relationships- sure, they’re cool, but a loving group of women was always where I found the most peace and understanding and that’s what I want the most.
I guess I’m just going through things right now and I really wish I had people I trust to talk to. Friend breakups hurt the most.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
OOP when asked how she had a house at a young age
OOP

Neither. I lived with my friends and their parents until college started. Already had a scholarship. Just worked 3 jobs until I was 22 and lived frugally.

~
Dufusbroth

The maths for time and money aren’t working out on this end but there is also a lot of variable/info that is missing.
It took my 7 years to payoff my house and I was contributing to it like it was an emergency. Qualifying for a home and paying it off in that amount of time without help seems nearly impossible. I’m so curious about the formula here! I need a lesson in finance from OP. When I broke it down on it just doesn’t seem possible except from a financial windfall counting even a frugal cost of living along with an accounting for taxes paid, etc… and that did not include the cost for transportation, medical, groceries, blah blah blah

OOP

The house was a 70k foreclosure and is 4bed/4bath. I was a golf caddy, gentlemen’s club bartender and occasional hostess, and notary signing agent. Along with selling stationary items on etsy. Also my scholarships paid for quite a bit of my home in general- they never specified what kind of housing for them, just housing. I lived in 1 room and rented out the other 3.

Dufusbroth

That’s the info I was looking for- thanks you! That is very smart. Good going! Good luck with your situation- so interested how he reacts to your departure

My current relationship has made me realize the thin line between love and hate. March 9, 2022
I found out my boyfriend of almost 4 years was cheating. We’ve lived together for 2 years and I’m leaving him tomorrow. He just doesn’t know yet. And won’t until after I’m gone.
As mad as I am, as betrayed as I feel, I still love him. All I really want is to wake up tomorrow and this all be a nightmare. I don’t enjoy this slice of reality.. that the person I loved the most has looked me in my eye and lied to me for who knows how long.
and every time I do it I’m left wondering how many times he did it. How many times did he wine, dine, and fuck other women and come home to me? How many times have I been the stupid girlfriend who trusted her boyfriend blindly? How many times have I been some woman’s laughing stock? Did he fuck us back to back? Did his friends know? Did they look me in my fucking eye and really not say anything? Did he love them? How many times did he tell me he loved me and meant it? When did he stop meaning it? Did he ever even mean it the first time?
I’m not a master manipulator. Unlike him. I’m just composed because I’ve never had any other choice. Emotions got you beat or worse when it came to my parents and I’m more than aware I have a shitload of trauma to unpack but I can’t.
Not in the self pity, woe is me, its too hard, but no. I probably just can’t. Therapists here are wildly westernized and once I start with the short list they’ll probably just charge me double. Maybe triple. And the last time I tried he kept trying to convince me I enjoyed my own assault.
Maybe I got cheated on because I’m emotionally inept. My intimacy levels are quite limited. The few times he asked about my childhood I either a) brushed him off or b) told him one thing I thought wasn’t that bad and he was so shocked I held out on the actually bad parts.
And that’s where the hate comes in. He knows what it’s like to grow up feeling unwanted. He knows what it’s like to lose your parents young. He knows what it’s like to feel like your entire life has been horrible event after horrible event.
But he still did this to me and I don’t get how he could. I could never cheat on anyone, let alone someone who’s shared such personal things with me.
I haven’t so much as made eye contact with another man since we met… other people were just other people and we were us.
I don’t know. I just don’t see being able to date again. I had deep seeded trust issues long before this and growing old by myself with 30 cats genuinely sounds nice. Hell, great even. At least I won’t always be wondering when the betrayal will come.

(Update) Leaving partner of 4 yrs after finding out he was cheating March 10, 2022
Transport company came and picked up my car. Sold whatever big furniture I brought for low prices. Took his dog to the park and played with him a bit, got him a dog cupcake and took him back to the apartment.
Movers started coming for the rest of my stuff and I hadn’t prepared for our property manager thinking we were both moving out and we hadn’t given them the required vacancy notice. She came to talk to me right as my uber was coming and I told her what was going.
Unfortunately they had already called him bc only his name on the lease. He’s called and texted me a few times but I haven’t replied. His work day won’t be over for a couple of more hours.
I left my apartment keys, and anything he’s ever bought for me that I hadn’t sold already. Didn’t feel like taking that stuff with me. While packing I remembered we bought a pet camera that shoots treats on the entertainment center and turned it back on. I promised myself I’ll disconnect from it by midnight tomorrow but I have my own predictions about how he’ll react and I just gotta know for sure. Yeah, it’s fucked up. Sue me lol
I actually forgot to leave a note and was running out of time before my uber came and just left the lingerie set he was so obsessed with on the bed. He’ll figure it out eventually. Or not.
I’m at the airport now with my dog and just waiting on my flight. I wish I could say that I feel free but I don’t. Just tired.
Thank you all for the well wishes and thank you more to all of the other women who reached out with similar stories. I think I might’ve caved and stayed if you all hadn’t.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
Suspicious_Bear_6634

What did he say on the text when they informed him that things were being moved out?

*OOP

Just that he got a call from property management and asked if I ordered something big and if anything was going on.

Pet Cam Update March 14, 2022
Update: I turned it on for about ten minutes after I got back to my home and unpacked. He wasn’t there, but everything was a mess. There was a hole in the wall, furniture flipped over, papers everywhere, the kitchen looked like a tornado went through it.
I deleted all of my other social media accounts but didn’t block his number. The first two days he called me over 200 times. Lots of novel ass text messages and him admitting to some shit I didn’t even know about yet. Quite a few calls from his dad and friends too.
I didn’t reply to any of them
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/cherry_muffin_no7
Originally posted to AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC
WIBTA if I refuse to have intimacy with my husband?
Thanks to u/queenlegolas and u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for suggesting this BoRU
Editor’s Note: added paragraph breaks for readability
Trigger Warnings: infidelity, car accident, body injuries, mentions of death of loved one, manipulation
Original Post: May 25, 2024
I won't sugarcoat any words here or make the situation in my favour. I need a very non biased opinion.
Around Mid August of 2019, Me (28F) and My husband (35M) tied a knot between us. He have two kids from his previous marriage. He and his ex wife are co-parenting their kids. I really love the kids.
One of the major factors why I got married with him was kids. I have reasons for that. My father died when I was 15. My mom wasn't so highly educated, so with that less education qualification, she couldn't provide for me and my other 3 younger brothers all alone. So I started to do part time jobs. I babysat, cleaned people's yard, took out pet's for walk, did assignments of my classmates etc. I earned really little amount of money with that but it helped my family slightest. When I was 17, I took a food delivery job.
One night, around 10-11 I was dropping food at the other side of city. A drunk driver hit my cycle and I went into a terrible accident. The driver needed to pay a large fine for that since my condition was very critical. I had alot internal bleeding and damage. So because of that accident, my doctor confirmed that in future the chances of me getting pregnant is very less, it will be a miracle for me to have my own kid. I was at the lowest part of my life because of that accident. I couldn't go out or do my work on my own. My family took care of me. It took me around 8 months to get well.
At first I didn't mind having a childless life but when I started to notice my friends are having family, I realised the beauty of motherhood. So I started dating guys with kids. My husband was my second bf. We tied knot after we dated for 10 months. When I got married his son was 11 and his daughter was 7. I got along with them well. It took them few months before they started to call me mama by their own. I left my job to be the stay at home mom for them, honestly I really adore them. I have a good relationship with their bio mom too.
After COVID, we went to Belgium for our 2nd anniversary on 2021. The trip was all good and I remember feeling so loved. The day before we were supposed to come back in our home, he proposed the idea of opening our marriage. If I say I was hurt it'll be a understatement. I couldn't look in his eyes without feeling hollow and sorrow. I said no multiple times after coming back from the trip but he kept persisting.
After couple of weeks I gave up and agreed. He set the terms. I don't remember most of it but few of his terms was never share this information with others, we can't date our exes or friends, no emotional attachment with our partners and always use protection.
In his words, he still loves me. He only opened the marriage because he wanted to gain experience and use it on our marriage. I remember going to sleep all crying and hurt. I gave up on my job to take care of him and the kids yet he yearned for another woman. We became distant. He noticed that and tried to initiate intimacy with me but I don't feel anything at all. I just lay there until he is done. I also distanced myself from him.
The idea of him having intimacy with other woman while being in a marriage with me disgusted me. I couldn't look at him at the same way I used to. We always have our location on so I could see where he is going. Those used to hurt me alot untill I became completely numb at this point. Now I don't see him as my husband but someone I tied knots with to be a mother.
Last year, I told him I wanna start work again. He got defensive kinda? He tried to use alot reasons to show why can't I work. When he saw all of his tricks going downhill he pulled the kids in the mess. He knew I have soft spots for his kids. I didn't back down that time. He gave me cold shoulder and went on trip with one of his gf. I applied to be a teacher at my brother's high school. He is the youngest of my all siblings and a sophomore. I am teaching chemistry in his school. My husband was mad at me for having a job for few months but he gave up. I started to give myself alot times.
Since the kids have extra curriculum activities they always don't stay at home. I have a friend circle from high school. I hung out with them every two weeks. I met a guy in my workplace. He is 29 and have three kids with his late wife. One day I ranted about my whole situation. He showed interest in me after that. He is a nice guy. I went on few dates with him. Nothing physical happened between us. I think I am relying on him for mental support since he is very supportive of me. I haven't felt something like that for a long time in my life.
Now few days ago, I went to salon and cut my hair short into shoulder length. My husband complimented me multiple times that day. The kids went to their grandparent's house for summer vacation. During night, he tried to initiate intimacy. Well I straight up said no for the first time. I think he got taken aback? He had mix of few expressions that I can't put a finger on. He started to use the husband card on me and I put my foot down to say no.
We had a huge argument and he left. I saw his location, he went to one of his girlfriend's place. He didn't contacted me for 2 days now. Now I am stuck between two thoughts. Even if I don't feel anything towards him he is still my husband. I can't share this with anyone so I need advice on this.
Relevant Comments
RndmIntrntStranger: INFO: Is having children really worth a husband who demanded an open marriage and did not want you to have financial independence?

OOP: He wasn't like that from the early days. After COVID I noticed some changes but didn't pay any attention on that. That time all I wanted was to have a child to raise like my own. Before him I dated another guy with a kid, he was nice but he had alot issues. Plus I resigned from my previous workplace with my own thoughts. I really wanted to devote myself in the kid's life. It was a mistake but now I have a job which pays me double amount than before. I still love the kids, they are all I could ask in a kid.

Significant-Dot-2260: Girl, the marriage was over when he proposed an open marriage. Just divorce, love yourself more. A man who truly loves his life doesn't go outside the marriage for anything. Your husband just wants a stable life at home and someone to watch his kids when they're there, and all his fun with another woman. He's selfish, get some therapy, divorce, and live your life, and once you heal yourself, you'll be blessed with a man who truly loves only you. Don't waste anymore time and tears on that man
 
Update: May 26, 2024 (next day)
Last night I made a post about my current situation of my marriage and asked for a non-biased view. There almost 300 people who responded and gave me advice. I couldn't respond all of that since I was overwhelmed with alot emotions. There is few things I want to clarify.
Firstly, I met my husband after my graduation when I was looking for a job. I made things official with him after I had the job. We dated for 10 months before getting married.
Secondly, His ex wife and he were childhood sweetheart who married each other when they were in college. After the birth of their second child, they realised they don't have the same bond so they got divorced and have 50/50 custody.
Thirdly, few people in my previous post asked me to make things official with my coworker. I would do that when I am ready. Currently my mental health isn't in the best position. I am working on it. Plus I can't have intimacy with anyone whom I barely know. We've been coworkers about almost a year but still I am not ready to make things all good.
Lastly, those who are saying I am using sex as a punishment, it's quite opposite. He barely comes home. He is always out with the kids or his girlfriends. I would love to add he doesn't have one but three girlfriend and yes all of them are aware of my existence.
Now to the update.
Last night I made a post about the current situation of my marriage with my husband. Asking if i would be the AH if I refuse to have intimacy. He haven't came back in last three days or contacted me. The kids talks with me daily. I had few conversation with their bio mom too (they are over her parent's place).
Honestly I thought he will get over it or won't bother me for a long time, but I was wrong as hell. During lunch, my mom came over to visit me. she asked if everything was okay between me and my husband. I didn't lie this time and straight up said no. We had a long conversation about my marriage and I was relieved after that. It felt so good after sharing everything with her. I am not ashamed to admit I cried like a kid in her arms while explaining everything. She stayed with me entire day. She called one of my younger brother (26) and told him everything. If I say he was mad it'll be an understatement. He asked why the hell I suffered that much and scolded me for couple of minutes. With the help of my mom and brother I packed my stuffs. I didn't leave with any of the stuffs he got me.
Most likely we will get a divorce soon. I texted a short message in his number, thanking him for being my husband and I won't be continuing the marriage anymore along with some personal stuffs between us. With the help of my friend and family currently I am finding a lawyer. I don't know how long it'll take me to finally get out of the marriage. I left the house around evening and sent the sms around 7. After that I muted his number.
I also told his ex wife about this and needless to say she was as much shocked as everyone. Because he wasn't like that. She assured me that even after divorce she will let me see the kids. I am really grateful for that part. Divorcing him will be easy since we always had separate accounts. I have little savings.
Before I get on my own feet properly I will be staying with my mom in our old house. I turned off my location before leaving his house but it won't be long untill he figures out where am I. He is currently messaging me but I am not strong enough to open them and read them so I haven't responded or read his sms
Relevant Comments
chimera4n: Well done! If he gets upset, just remind him that he was the one who ruined the marriage by cheating.
I say cheating, because an open marriage only works if both partners are willing, a one sided open marriage is just cheating.
Bitter-Picture5394: Good for you. You deserve a life where you are respected and your feelings validated. You will find true happiness as long as you keep advocating for yourself.
 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

(This is the letter I found on my notes app from a few months ago.)
If someone is reading this and it isn't me, it means I am no longer alive with the rest of you. Before you start assuming I did this because of bullying, or because of a certain person, you are mistaken. I've been feeling like this for a year now since the last few months of 8th grade. Before I begin to explain. I will list off the people in my life who made my weeks better everytime I saw them: Zoe Karleto Jasper(She goes by Chloe now) Izy Lexi Lauren Ladorian Aiden Peyton Nathan Donna Leland Kaleb Cesar Brian Dad Mom Brandon Justin Neely I'm sorry if I forgot any names, my memory has gotten worse lately. If it weren't for you and others in my life I would've done this sooner. You guys are the reason I like going to school. Without it. I'd have no one to talk to, relate to, laugh with, etc. All of you have taught me life lessons and things that have stuck with me till now. For Cesar Jr: don't ever blame yourself for my actions. I did this for my own reasons and you had nothing to cause this. Since birth you've taught me things no one else has. I'm jealous of you than anything. You have a car, a gf, a job. Funny enough whenever I'd be crying about my day on occasion, I'd sometimes think about how I wish I was you just so I could have the life I wanted. I love you man, don't ever forget that. For Brian: I wasn't a good brother to you, whether you believe that or not. I treated you with anger and hostility when you desvere an older brother to look up too. I'm glad Cesar fulfills the older brother role better than I could. I wanna see you grow up to be a good man, better than I was. For dad: I'm sorry for this, you came to this country with dreams to watch your kids grow up. Unfortunately if your reading this, you won't be seeing all your sons grow up. Your the main impact on the way I act, the way I talk, my demeanor. Mom's right whenever she says you and I are more similar than normal. You were a better dad than I was ever deserving of. Your a good man, whether people say differently. For mom: I wish I could've made you proud but I couldn't go on with my life when I had no reason to keep going. Please don't be so hard on Cesar and Brian, they deserve to live the rest of their time living with you feeling good. You were an amazing mom to me and I wanna see you live a long life with pop. For Zoe: for that little small few days we were together were the days I'll forever be grateful for. I love you and I wanna tell you how bad I wanna be yours and make you happy but I know I could never fill that role. I should've kept our relationship to myself and not let peoples words get to my head. I don't want to see you die young and wanna see you succeed in life without me on this earth. May you find more happiness than I was ever able to give you. For Jasper: There isn't enough letters in the alphabet to explain how good of a friend you were to me. You were one of the first people I felt comfortable with this year. Your always honest and tell me how you really feel about a situation. Even though we've only been friends for a few months, it feels like years the way I feel so comfortable when I'm around you. I even had a crush on you at one point since you made me feel so good I thought that was love. But now I know that's just you being a good friend. For Karleto: If it wasn't for you, I'd probably be sitting at the front of the class in Journalism by myself, because of you, you helped me be more comfortable talking with people in general. I'm sometimes wish I was like you. If you ever find this note, just know, your one of the reasons I didn't do this sooner man. For izy: Yknow, your one of the reasons I believe God makes people in his image. Anytime i see you, talk to you, I notice how bright you are and how anytime you smile, it makes me see how perfect the world is. Don't ever let anyone say you aren't perfect. Your nice, funny, honest, and nothing can change that. For lexi: despite us never having one on one conversations, I know your a genuinely good friend. You were one of the chillest and most relaxed person in any room. Live your life like that and I'm sure you'll live a good life. For Lauren: even though we've only been friends for a few weeks through Jasper, I wanna tell how much I wish the world was much kinder to you. You deserve a better life and you deserve everything you desire in life. Thank you for being a good friend to me. For Ladorian: I know I'm not a fun person to be around. I'm sorry for always talking about things you probably didn't wanna hear in gym. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable when I cried in gym class, I know you were just trying to help but I wasn't in a good state of mind than and now. Whenver I try talking to you, I know you probably wish I wasn't talking. You probably weren't trying to convey that but I can tell. I'm glad you find a girl you truly like. For Aiden: incase no one has told you this, I'm glad you were my friend. You showed me to be honest and upfront with people. Your genuinely one of the few people I'm comfortable with being 100 percent honest with. For Peyton: I'm sorry I was always mean whenver I'd buy you food after school. I know I wasn't a good friend to you whether you think that or not. I wish you the best in your weight loss journey. For Nathan: When you and I first talked back in 8th grade, I didn't think you and I would become great friends. I'm glad to see your improving in life and I want you to keep continuing to do good in life. For Donna: I always love to see you giggling or laughing whenever talking about stories or things that happened in your life. I wanna add you happy and content with your new bf. Your a good person no matter what anyone says to you. You were an even better friend. For Leland: I know your more of a introverted person, but I always like to see you smiling or laughing whenver your talking to me or anyone else. I cherish the times we played 8 ball. All the times we'd talk about anything on our minds. Thank you for being one of the reasons I didn't do this sooner. For Kaleb: I'm sorry I couldn't keep living my life like this and you deserve a better friend. I want you to know it isn't your fault no matter what you or anyone else thinks. You were a good friend to me. You helped me open up about my life and helped me make friends by getting me out of my comfort zone. For Brandon: You were like a therapist to me. Thank you for always helping me through my struggles and problems. Your one of the few people who I think are genuinely good people at heart. I was always jealous of your killer beard you used to have. For Justin: even though we've grown apart since we entered highschool but I never complain whenver I get the chance to talk to you. All of you were the reasons why I didn't wanna do this and why I waited so long to do this. You made my life better anytime I saw any of you. Everytime I thought about killing myself, I always thought about how you guys would feel if I did that. I know some of you probably won't be affected by me being gone and even though that hurts me to think about. It's probably for the better, i wouldn't want you guys to be affected drastically by my absence on this world. May you all live good lives and I wanna see each and everyone of you in heaven one day. Goodbye

CONCLUSION
And finally, here’s the final part! If you have any thoughts, or any disagreements, comment down below! I’d love to discuss the game’s lore with you all!
At its heart, Indigo Park is a tragedy, one that would make both Shakespeare and the ancient Greeks proud. It starts off with the creator wanting nothing but good, but slowly devolves into a horrifying, downward spiral. After all, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.
Isaac Indigo has a dream of bringing his imagination to life, for people everywhere. The beginning of the twentieth century began horrendously, World War 1 being the deadliest conflict at the time. Wanting to help everyone and bring at least a spark of joy into their lives, Isaac Indigo launches headfirst into the media of his choice: cartoons.
Indigo comes up with his first permanent Mascot, Lloydford L. Lion. A loud, booming, rambunctious character, Lloyd sought to be the spark of happiness that Indigo hoped he would be. Lloyd would the very best actor, showman, and orator. He’s arrogant, but not pompous. He’s loud, but not with ill will. He’s the beginning of the cast that Indigo envisions, a character whose sole purpose is to please the world. It’s not a surprise that Lloyd is an actor, after all. He seeks to distract the world from its woes, at least for a bit, and make everyone have a good time.
Indigo, emboldened by his sudden fame and success, proceeds to churn out four more individuals: Rambley the Raccoon, Mollie the Macaw, Salem the Skunk, and, eventually, Finley the Sea Serpent, though he comes in separate from the other three.
Rambley Raccoon, a quick thinking, sharp tongued, cheeky little gremlin, is an instant hit with the people, becoming the second most popular character out of the five. Mollie Macaw, a happy-go-lucky bird with a love for the open skies, acts as Rambley’s best friend, the two practically glued together. Together, alongside Lloyd, these three represent the ‘good guys’, a trio that want nothing but the best for the people.
However, every hero needs a villain, and thus, Salem the Skunk was born, a snappy, malevolent little critter that wished for the world to revolve around herself. She has a knack for potion making, a capable chemist who uses her concoctions to bend the wills of others to herself, only for herself.
Rambley and Salem end up becoming fated rivals, nemeses who dislike each other the most, out of every character that Indigo created. Using Salem, Indigo would spread the message of peace, of friendship and everlasting bonds that always triumph against evil, and Salem.
This continuity continues for a period of time, Indigo eventually adding one more character to his roster: the melancholy sea dragon, Finley. Finley’s main goal was to be the educator, to explain the natural world around people and share the fascinating and the beautiful, especially in regard to the ocean, a concept still so unexplored, while also trying to appeal to an older crowd alongside Lloyd.
However, poor Finley wouldn’t ever be that popular amongst his peers. Perhaps it was his gloomy, exhausted aura that pushed people away, or perhaps it was his towering, and frankly scary, size, or even maybe because he was deemed boring by the youngest, who were more keen on Rambley, the character that appealed to them the most. Even the other characters, whether Indigo intended for this or not, seemed a bit annoyed by Finley, and often left him to his devices.
And, for a while, Indigo’s plan succeeded. His popularity and notoriety only increased as time went on, gaining him influence, money, and prestige. His plans were working! He was making a difference, making smiles appear on the faces of people who would otherwise be swept away by the woes of the world!
Everything started to crumble, however, when yet another horrifying conflict arose: World War II. The Old World was thrown into chaos, Europe, Africa, and Asia becoming the bloodiest battleground in human history, surpassing even the Great War that came before it.
So, Indigo concocted a scheme, a way to raise the spirits of those he could currently help, his fellow Americans. Indigo Park was to be his magnus opus, his monument that would transcend his lifetime. Here, all of his creations would gather, all of them having their own attractions, bringing a level of access that had never yet been realized before. Costumed people would walk around during operational hours, bringing his characters into the real world to interact with those that needed refuge from the outside horrors.
However, while his park became a success, spearheaded by Lloyd the Lion, the very first, there was something that bothered Indigo. These costumed performers, while certainly a stroke of genius, underperformed. Besides that, they sometimes broke character, and destroyed the immersion of the guests, and were quite costly to keep around, alongside the engineers, the logistics division, and the Ranglers that helped run Indigo Park. Not to mention, the cost of custom costumes, of fabric and materials, rose higher and higher as quotas began to be placed and maintained in the USA, due to the resources it sent to its allies overseas, before eventually joining their allies in the fight against evil.
If he couldn’t simulate his characters, why not make them? Animals that would be living, breathing creatures that would merely need care, compassion, and basic necessities? Hiring a bunch of the best scientists, he gave them a special role: The Royal Ranglers, those that would be entrusted with this secret project.
Indigo, while a creative man, didn’t understand science as well as these individuals, and likely never would, but he would make them keep logs, records of their successes and failures, of their many experiments. And eventually, their labor paid off: One of each character, Mascots, came to life. They breathed air, had red blood flowing through their veins, were real, physical creatures, but also remained gentle with the guests. Once they were unveiled, there was no longer a need for costumed performers to roam around Indigo Park. They could also be trained to perform shows of their own, such as Finley and Lloyd, while the others could supervise their respective districts! It was a win win!
However, not everyone was so pleased with the results. The performers that once roamed the streets found themselves without jobs, only some kept around to care for the new Mascots, their betters, their replacements. And that made them furious. Why should these abominations, these stupid, ugly freaks replace them? Behind Indigo’s back, these disgruntled employees would begin their revenge slowly, minimally. Withholding a small amount of the supplies the Mascots needed, occasional cruel words. As time went on, this turned into a coping mechanism, the treatment of the Mascots progressing into physical violence, vile, cutting words on the regular basis.
Sometime before this Lloyd would end up giving up the title of main character to Rambley, who had gained immense popularity, even more than Lloyd himself. While it annoyed the proud Lloyd to be first mate, he would hand over the title graciously, partially because Rambley had always been jealous of Lloyd’s popularity and fame, and maybe, just maybe, this change would do them all good. Their abuse had been escalating, much worse than any thought possible. Salem was the only one to oppose this decision, thinking that it was all only to the benefit of Rambley. Mollie was the opposite, supportive of her best friend. And Finley … well, there was no way to consistently speak with the reptile. He was always kept in Oceanic Odyssey, far away from their cages underneath Jetsream Junction. And besides, none of the four particularly … liked Finley. Sure, Rambley had befriended the sea serpent, but that was done moreso to have some rapport and sway over the gentle giant, who was much too shy, like, ~obnoxiously~ ~shy.~ He was always so gloomy, so pessimistic, so willing to accept whatever came his way. No, Finley was definitely not an agent of change, but of pitiful complacence, locked away with his prized shell collection.
However, things did not improve at all. In fact, it only got worse. Tension between the Mascots was at an all time high, Rambley having become hurtful to even his best friend Mollie. He was still suspicious of Lloyd, convinced the lion would steal back his position as ringleader. Salem and Rambley, and thus with Mollie, also began to sour drastically. Salem was convinced that Rambley wasn’t doing anything to help the five. After all, he and Mollie practically abandoned Finley, someone who they claimed was a ‘friend’. Lloyd too became frustrated with the raccoon, Salem whispering in his ears, convincing him that Rambley had only pushed for Lloyd’s demotion to finally be the one above Lloyd, to have more power.
Mollie was soon caught in the crossfire of a particularly intense feud, Salem and Lloyd on one side, Rambley by himself on the other. Rambley, her best friend in the whole wide world. Rambley, that same friend who would sometimes be mean to Mollie for no apparent reason. However, no matter what Rambley had done to their relationship, it wasn’t Rambley’s fault. It was one time when Lloyd became particularly aggressive that Mollie had to finally end this.
The fault does not belong to Rambley! “Not Rambley! He hurts Lloyd! He hurts Lloyd!”
And suddenly, it clicked for the Mascots. No matter how much some of the Mascots didn’t like each other, there was one person they all could agree to hate: Isaac Indigo. Their creator who had left the newborn animals to the mercy of vengeful, spiteful, horrible people who did nothing but spit upon and abuse the Mascots. It was decided that they would fight back. They would show those humans that they were not muzzled dogs, but barely contained predators.
The next time the Mascots were in the presence of these Ranglers, Lloyd finally snapped. It was a particularly brutal day, and Lloyd would suffer no longer. With a crippling roar, Lloyd launched himself at the Ranglers, the other Mascots following suit.
Isaac Indigo had walked into work expecting the day to be like usual, but it was to his horror that he learned of the Mascots attack upon their Ranglers. Calling a hasty evacuation, guests were shoved outside of the park with no explanation, no answers. Even the authorities would not be able to provide answers. No, they couldn’t learn of such a thing; it would ruin Isaac Indigo and all that he had worked for.
Temporarily, the entire park fell under the control of the Mascots, who were a bit shocked with how easy it was to win their freedom. However, their victory would not last. They all would suffer the consequences.
Lloyd was deemed the biggest threat to Indigo’s plans, so he had to be the one dealt with first. But how? The scientists that Indigo had hired came up with a plan; repurpose the Critter Cuffs to make a high enough pitch to incapacitate the lion, before locking him up for good in his theater. Alongside this, in order to better guarantee the safety of their people, a resuscitation feature had been added to potentially save an employee's life, if it came down to it.
Luring the beast to his stage area, the humans spring their trap, their Critter Cuffs wailing, racking Lloyd with so much pain that he couldn’t do anything but curl up into a ball. With the help of some engineers, they lock Lloyd in his own theater, a special clearance required to even access the area. This is where they toss most of the assets Indigo Park does not wish anyone see. Research papers, binders, notebooks, it’s all scattered here. And while here, Indigo decides to deal with Mollie Macaw as well.
Mollie is dangerous in that she knows planes and how to use them. They’re massive weapons, so, the way to disarm the bomb that is Mollie is to lock Jetstream Junction behind the Critter Cuffs, as well as a massive lock and key. The key itself would be stored at the very back of Lloyd’s theater, a place where only they would know to look. And once they seal the doors one final time, Mollie, Rambley, and Salem would have no access to it.
Finley would be left to his own devices; he’s contained in his attraction and as long as they don’t approach, they’ll be fine. The remaining Mascots can’t hide there forever either, and the humans know that. Even if Finley is a deterrent, the humans would eventually invent a way to deal with the serpent, who would be unwilling to resist for too long.
And thus, two Mascots were dealt with, one Mascot crippled. Only Salem and Rambley remained threats with their rides and arsenals, though Mollie is still dangerous with her sharp beak and claws.
After some time, Mascot Rambley and Salem decide to retreat further into Indigo Park, further away from the entrance. Their movements were too easy to track with that blasted Artificial Intelligence system watching through the bountiful cameras. Mollie, however, can’t bear to leave her home, her hangar. She tries to reason with the two others, but ultimately, no agreement can be reached. Salem and Rambley would withdrawn, and Mollie would come, if she wanted to.
Eventually, the two sneakiest Mascots, once sworn enemies, were now the only one the other could rely on. Now brother and sister, they tried their best to weather the storm, but were ultimately dealt with. Mollie, grief-stricken with the loss of her home and being abandoned by the ones she called friend, had no will to fight anymore.
This entire process took almost ten years, finally ending in 2015, while the park had been closed in 2006. Outside, people slowly forgot about the enigmatic end to the once beloved park, distracted by the rapid expansion of other sources of fun and media. Indigo, saddened by the fate of what he once thought of as his greatest achievement, didn’t have the heart to tear the place down. It was too dangerous, so he merely bribed the local authorities to close it off from curious onlookers. He would command the AI Rambley to have most of his files wiped concerning the fate of the park, wiping all data concerning the back and forth between humans and their experiments brought to life. He’d be restricted to the Registration Center, cut off from the actual park, and only present in one computer until Indigo found a way to salvage the situation. And that’s where Isaac Indigo left Indigo Park.
Mascot Mollie is left alone to wander the park, all her friends gone, missing. She stumbles into Rambley Railroad, the only place that she can see all her friends, before she stops at Salem’s exhibit. Eyes narrowing in hate, Mollie remembers that it was Salem that pushed and manipulated them all to fight back. If Salem hadn’t been there, none of this would have happened. This leads Mascot Mollie on a destructive rampage, wrecking the whole area as much as she could. She eventually stumbles upon an animatronic version of herself, which shocks her when it repeats Mollie’s own words, almost like snidely trying to hurt Mollie with her own words. “Not Rambley! He hurts Lloyd! He hurts Lloyd!” Once again angered, Mascot Mollie pounds upon the robot until the lights fade from its painted eyes, slumped in a pile of metal rods and broken brick. From there, Mascot Mollie leaves, vowing to stay away from the place.
However, what Indigo did not account for was an urban explorer duo that made it their life mission to explore a wide variety of places. Laura and Ed made quite the dynamic duo, always exploring what they wanted, where they wanted, how they wanted. Though they trespassed and sometimes even burgled, they were never caught by the authorities, and their concealed presences on their channel was enough for the two to not be charged and arrested.
However, the two found themselves in a weird limbo. All of their newest explorations lacked a certain ‘oomph’, with even their viewers noticing the lack of excitement and passion of the two. So, Ed decides to set his sights on a big fish: Indigo Park.
Laura, his partner, is instantly worried by Ed’s choice. All the places they went to before were practically abandoned, the maximum they had to worry about were old motion detectors and an occasional camera or two. Indigo Park, however, would most likely be very secure, swarming with cops, even, so she tries to dissuade Ed, but Ed only becomes more pumped to break inside. Resigned, Laura promised assistance if Ed could find a way inside. Ed finally goes to this famed Indigo Park, home of so many of his treasured memories as a child, intent on having all of his personal questions answered.
It is to his surprise that the place is so easy to slip into. All he had to do was avoid the occasional patrol car, climb a fence, and viola, he was there. The entrance gates being locked up, however, was a bummer, but maybe the Registration Center would have some information. It would be even more of a shock to discover an AI Rambley, the same that Indigo had locked there.
AI Rambley would guide Ed, the first visitor in exactly eight years, inside, Ed collecting all sorts of goodies, such as plushies, ears, drinking containers, and even a vintage Rambley costume mask. However, Ed is disappointed by the way the AI practically ignores the state of disrepair Indigo Park has fallen into.
Lured by the sudden sound of Rambley speaking Mascot Mollie rushes over; Rambley came back for her! But it is to her horror that it’s merely a mockery of Mascot Rambley, that old AI speaking to a human! Mollie, wary and frightened of the implications of this, decides to merely follow cautiously.
Following the directions of the AI, Ed travels through Rambley Railroad, fixing the ride when in breaks in the wrecked zone of Salem the Skunk, her cutout and props left in broken pieces. It is during this ride that Ed senses he’s not alone, and notices Mollie Macaw stalking him. However, she’s not threatening in any way, so he leaves her be. Why antagonize this … Mascot? Person? Ed doesn’t know what to think of her, but maybe, if he’s careful, he won’t have to deal with her.
Ed is then directed to Jetsream Junction, but is disappointed to find it locked away, not only by Critter Cuff, but also by lock and key. The AI mentions a key in Lloyd’s theater, though, so he heads that way. What Ed does not expect to find is Mascot Lloyd himself, dozing on the stage. Quickly noticing Ed’s presence, however, Lloyd flees, remembering all too well of the danger that humans posed to him.
Unfortunately, Ed is left without AI Rambley’s presence, and Lloyd is slowly but surely pushed farther back into his domain. Lloyd at one point tries to attack, but the lion is clumsy. Though he can’t die of thirst or hunger, he still suffers from their effects, his body weak and dirty. Lloyd then leaves and lets this man do whatever he wants. Maybe if Lloyd hides in a corner, the scary human won’t come for him.
However, he is soon consumed by anger when he realizes that Ed takes the keys to Jetstream Junction. He can’t let this human escape, he might try to go and hurt Mollie! She’s probably locked in there like he’s locked in here!
Lloyd attacks, or tries to, at least. The accursed Critter Cuff wails, its high-pitched waves causing Lloyd to be paralyzed with pain. Once the sound stops, Lloyd runs away, his fears of torture reignited as he is subjected to pain he had not faced for almost twenty years.
Mascot Mollie, always lurking, heard the Critter Cuff go off, and she draws her conclusions well; Lloyd tried to fight the human, but was driven back, hurt and embarrassed in his own territory. From here, Mollie’s old, unresolved anger begins to build, following Ed as he opens up Jetstream Junction, much to her surprise. At first, she’s delighted. Finally, her old domain is open! She explores the place, running into Ed as they both take notice of one another. Perhaps she’ll let Ed go; he did do her a favor, after all.
But that notion is soon dissolved as she watched Ed run about the place like he owns it, Mollie’s anger mounting as he goes deeper into her home. Finally, she has enough. She attacks Ed, chasing him through the halls and tunnels Mollie so loves. Unfortunately, this final act turns out to be Mascot Mollie’s last. Just as she lunges for him, her head gets severed from her body by a metal door, her blood coating it and the surrounding environment bright red.
It is from here that AI Rambley is forced to acknowledge that this is not his familiar Indigo Park; it’s old and worn, the Mascots that once made people laugh now try to hunt them down. He forgets that they were abused because those files were wiped from him, and Mascot Mollie’s cries are very hard to discern as the echoes and Mascot Mollie’s own voice is ruined by age.
AI Rambley decides his best course of action is to enlist Ed’s help to repair the whole theme park. After all, he has all the information on how to go about it in his database, it just requires a physical body to do, something that the AI sorely lacks. And so, AI Rambley directs Ed toward the first place they need to kick back up: Oceanic Odyssey, home of the Mascot Finley. Perhaps this shy, reclusive sea snake won’t be trying to kill Ed.
On the way, though, Ed nearly stumbles upon the laboratories where the Mascots were made, so the AI makes sure to block that avenue. Ed was AI Rambley’s only hope of success, he wasn’t risking the man run away in terror from the sights and notes that likely were down there.
Ed finally reaches the Oceanic Odyssey attraction, pushing open the doors and following AI Rambley inside, catching a glimpse of a long, green, sea dragon in one of the aquariums …
END
Well, that’s about it! 12k words and 24 pages in, and I only covered the first chapter. Hoo boy …
I don’t think I need to reiterate that this is what I think happened, canonically. There will obviously be some wrong information due to the limited evidence I have to work with, and I intentionally remained vague during certain parts.
Despite that, I am very confident in a few ideas, such as the Mascot uprising, the weaponization of the Critter Cuff specifically against Lloyd the Lion, and the secret laboratories hidden behind that Royal Ranger Room area.
If you have any ideas of your own, let me know as well! I would love to theorize about some things that all of you think as well!
Also a huge shoutout and thank you to the creator of Indigo Park, Mason Myers, or UniqueGeese. The guy is insanely talented, considering this took him only one year to do. ONE! I can’t want to see the twists and turns he has to offer.
See you all later in Chapter 2! - Maddy

Yesterday, I had my graduation ceremony. After years of university with absolutely no help besides occasional rides to the bus stop and, very rarely, to campus, I finally graduated. Here's what my parents have done in the lead-up to graduation and the day after instead of supporting me.
My parents spent months leading up to the graduation freaking out about how I'll get a job, trying to control my hair and clothing (even implying I'm ugly when I choose my own hair and clothing), harassing me to hand out business cards to everyone I meet (especially if the situation would be an immense faux pas), grilling me on if my grades are good, lecturing me relentlessly about how I need to keep in contact with people in my class and it's soooo important and would I like to hear about how my dad got a job through nepotism for the eightieth time, asking me questions they already know the answers to (Yes, I'm still talking to my former classmates. Yes, I know that you worked in the Yukon when you were 18. Yes, I know about your friend who worked in a weather station. Yes, I know you had to move to find a job in the 1980s. Yes, I am aware that it is a possibility I might have to move too. Yes, I know that it's okay to invite people over to the house, you've only "informed" me about a hundred times. Yes, I know that school is important.) Every single thing that they "inform" me about is something I have very clearly expressed that I understand, and is just thinly veiled criticism. But my dad needs to lecture more than he needs oxygen.
Just constant nitpicking, criticism, and nothing I ever did was enough. I couldn't even focus on grades, because they would in their own words "put pressure on" me to do what they wanted. To handle their emotions for them. They're obsessed with the idea that I would have to move to a tiny town or work in a coal mine to find a job, because I'm more highly educated than my dad (who dropped out of university despite having all expenses paid by his father), and because my dad worked in the Yukon for two summers. He will never shut up about that, and he even goes so far as to hold us hostage with implicit threat of a massive tantrum to listen to him tell us the story again and again and again and to show us pictures of the place he worked on Google maps and point to everything he remembers. Sometimes he can go on for half an hour just repeating himself over and over.
Last summer, my parents even went and took action without my knowledge or approval to try and get a job set up for me cleaning up a mine contaminated with arsenic in the middle of nowhere, NWT. They tried to guilt and shame me into it ("What are your plans instead? Do you have another job lined up? Because you need to have a job. You can't sit around all day." This coming almost literally one week into summer vacation after my second-last year of university, when I could be using my energy to find interesting co-ops or explore hobbies or travel, instead dealing with their harassment and obsession with trying to literally trap me in a fucking arsenic mine.) They went on and on, lectured me over and over, implied that I would be embarrassing my grandfather if I didn't go, and so on. Eventually they said "You can go work or get a certification", and I picked the certification, but then they got grumpy anyways, and every week for the entire summer they would ask "Are you still working on the certification?". Of course, dipsh*t. I've told you fifty times how long the program lasts.
They don't care about what I'm learning in class, don't care about my hobbies or interests, only care about my friends as either a means to get backdoored into a job or a "nice French Canadian woman" to have babies with. They don't care if I'm struggling, and are completely unavailable to help in any regard. Any request for help would result in a guilt trip. Even if I actually couldn't eat dinner with the family for one day because I had a test, my father would get raw emotions and I'd have to walk on eggshells for a few days. The one time I mentioned I was having trouble studying, instead of shutting up and no longer ranting in the main floor where I could hear him or turning the TV off, he just dragged a table into the unfurnished boiler room (without asking me) and then told me that I would have to study there. I wasn't allowed to choose not to, because he'd already set it up. Ironically, my anger at him did let me study pretty well for the one day that I was forced there. He tried to keep me there long-term because he thought it was just such a great idea, but I managed to trick him into thinking I didn't need help studying anymore, so I got to study at a desk with a light on it and flooring that wasn't bare cement. Hooray for the most minor victory imaginable.
In the months leading up to graduation, did they care about how hard I was working at my capstone project and offer support? Absolutely not! Did they care about how well my sleep quality was, how many times the cat woke me up because they didn't play with her enough or give her enough attention? Nope! Did they care about how exhausting it was to deal with their constant lectures on the same topics, and to have to give them affirmations ("Yes, you're right, that's right, good job, nice, very tasty, good work, oh really?, neat, that's cool, how'd you make that?, mhm, I agree, you're being reasonable, they're being ridiculous, that's crazy") a hundred times a day? Not even in the slightest!
We spend more time talking about my dad's college friends than about anything I or my brother care about.
Then, leading up to graduation. all I've gotten are the most humiliating, infuriating, insulting messages and lectures from my parents. I get almost daily emails and texts saying "You need to get a job, it's important to look for a job" despite the fact I've told them I am looking probably fifty times. Too cowardly to say it to my face. I've been texted literal links to a Google search for "[degree name] jobs [city]" more than once. Both my parents treat me like I don't listen, when I do. They treat me like I'm lazy, when I've put myself through university with no help even after they lied to me about giving me financial aid and made me out to be a bully demanding more money when all I did was say "alright" and then pay for it myself. They must have sternly given me a talking to about how "I'm not going to pay for university, you know that, right? You need to pay. Don't expect us to pay. Because we paid for your first semesters, you know that, right? We've already paid for enough." thirty times, even after I'd made the final payment. They treat me like I'm stupid when I have expressed understanding before. They treat me like I'm a bully while I always bend over backwards for them, just because I don't play my role as "surrogate mommy but this time I get to tell her what to do" well enough.
It feels like they're almost raising me into a replacement or surrogate parent. Like my dad wants me to be his mom or dad, except this time he gets to be in charge. And my mom wants me to be her mom, except this time when she freaks out or has her deer in headlights look, she'll get someone to step up and take care of everything for her. I distinctly remember having to comfort her even for things she did to me, like tell me that a pair of comfortable shoes I picked out was good and she'd get them, and then immediately scream "take it out, take it out!" after it was scanned at the register. I could not have been older than twelve. And for my dad, he always rants and raves to me exactly like he does to his parents, except without including blame for them sending him to boarding school and instead having tons of old "life updates" like where he worked when he was 18 and what music he liked to listen to in high school, stuff like that. Then he expects me to praise him or be interested like his parents never were (he always tells me that his parents only cared about his car when they called).
So now I graduated. All they had to say in the days coming up to it was to grill me on the time I'd have to be at the venue and the time I was planning to leave the house to get there on time, with a distinct air of "you're too lazy to think of this in advance and too stupid to figure it out without a plan". Of course, I had to answer this question probably five times, because they don't care to ever listen to me. Before the ceremony I got text messages showing they were way more excited about themselves being here than anything relating to me, with multiple messages expressing how they arrived and it was exciting, then they asked me how the atmosphere was and their only reply was a one-word "nice" with no punctuation, because they don't care about me and only ask droll questions to segue into their next bit.
After grad, there was two generic sentences spoken with no emotion about how it was nice I graduated, and then they made a whole song and dance about the amazing gifts they got me. It was a degree frame I picked out myself that my dad presented as new and exciting (because he never pays attention to me, of course, when I told him I had picked one out and ordered it with my mother. Also she had another freakout about price and acted like I was holding her hostage by taking her unforced offer to buy me the second-cheapest degree frame on offer.). Then he presented the free gift small frame they got with it as though I should praise him for it, then a congratulation card that was alright I suppose if only because my brother drew a little creature in it that made me smile (my parents did not add anything special or meaningful to it). There was also a cap, which I genuinely enjoy and is nice, and a cheap ballpoint pen for some reason. He said there was more gifts at home, which okay, I don't care about gifts but I'd like him to at least be as excited for my graduation as he was for the picture frame. I didn't get any souvenirs from the bookstore because I knew if I got something he'd also gotten he'd freak out and accuse me of not listening to him or whatever, so I waited. When I got home my gift was Skittles. I don't know why I thought me might have gone to the bookstore and gotten me something special related to my actual interests. He doesn't care to know what those are anyways. I guess I hoped that at least this one day would be different.
Today, the day after graduation, all I've gotten from my parents is:
- Involved in a lecture and manufactured drama about my brother not using my car to drive to his job, even though my dad had the exact opposite position the entire rest of the year, because "what if you need to drive somewhere?", trying to manufacture a fight between my brother and me while also guilting and shaming me for not driving as a hobby like he does.
- A text message from my mother asking me if I'm awake because she wants more ammo to paint me as lazy. Nevermind that I barely slept the night before to make it to grad (of course neither of my parents would care enough about me to come with me as a family. I was literally the only person I saw who went on my own and without their family showing up early too, to support them. I walked past so many families in the parking lot knowing my mother couldn't be bothered to change out of her pajamas for me.) Nevermind I had a huge day that day, and that I was taking care of the cat's energy all that night too because attending my grad is apparently soooo draining my parents can't look after their own pet, and somehow it falls to me. All that matters is she woke up early and I didn't (after I handled all her inconveniences for her, funny how that works).
- Rapid knocks on my door because my dad is making bread as a hobby and apparently "needs" me there to help him with it, and then also "needed" me to stay and make cookies with him.
- A lecture about someone I never knew who apparently once threw something at another kid on my street when I was about 5, and about how he died and how his wife's hobby was really expensive or whatever and if I really don't remember him?
- I went to a showhome for fun and brought back the brochure. My dad jabbed his finger at the pictures on it to explain the house to me like I wasn't the one who literally brought the brochure back. Never asked if I cared or anything, just immediate launch into lecture and expecting me to stay and listen and praise him for being so smart or whatever.
- A lecture about D Day for some fucking reason. My dad is obsessed with history, and he doesn't have any friends to talk to (wonder why) so his lectures always fall on my ears.
- An email from my mother explaining in an extremely condescending way how important it is to have a cover letter when applying for jobs (just completely assuming I don't write them and also am too lazy or stupid to think about having them) including copy-pasted text from a sample cover letter that is no doubt one of the first results on google for "cover letter example"
- An angry email from my mother including a job she found on google
But, contrast that to my neighbors across the street. I was friends them in grade school, haven't seen them in like ten years, and just on my way past to the showhome we said hi and chatted in a genuinely nice conversation that wasn't a one-sided lecture like usual in my house. They could sense my emotions and didn't try to keep me there longer than I wanted to rant, they were genuinely interested in me and gave me space and interest to express myself, their mother even hugged me for graduating and it was the most genuine hug and congratulations I've ever received in person. Every other hug was my family members forcing me to hug them for their own sole benefit. I admit I cried a bit later on my walk thinking about it.
Compared to my parents, the parents of old friends care more about me, trust me more, believe in me more, have more hope for my future, are more interested in me, and understand me better. It's tremendously sad that all throughout my graduation ceremony I was worried about my parents becoming upset for some random reason and blowing up at me. I'm glad I at least focused and made myself feel some pride and joy in myself for graduating.
Even the random people I met who were also taking part in the open house were nicer and better conversationalists than my parents. A random elderly couple I have never seen in my life can have a better interaction with me than my own parents. The realtor was more chill and less perfectionistic than my parents by a mile. His million-dollar house sale was something he was less stressed and perfectionistic about and something he beat himself up over less than my parents are about my hairstyle when I'm going to class because "What if you meet someone in industry and they see you're not professional".
It's absurd.

The Injustice Initiative and Megaverse Council did not grieve with their former leader for too long, due to the combined forces of Venessa and Velocity making swift progress in uniting dozens of Omniverses under their heroic banner. Velocity used her direct and demanding demeanor to influence the defenders of each Omniverse to join the Council and was brutally honest in her meetings with the current situation. She stressed that if they refuse to join then they will face extinction and the Council will not help them when they are attacked due to them only having priorities for attacking the demons head on. Venessa on the other hand focused her attention in strengthening the Injustice Initiative with rigorous training and firing incompetent people in leadership positions and swiftly replacing them with those that were far more competent and understood the severity of the situation. In the span of 16 days, the combined efforts of these two feminine leaders made great leaps in progress that equaled or surpassed Diamond's own work in the past three months.
While these two were on a mission together, The Researcher contacted them regarding a very important matter. When the two heroines arrived at the Council's headquarters The Researcher revealed to them two enormous discoveries. "We finally found them. The place where our foes call home, Omniverse 6,666,666. We do not know much of this Omniverse other than the Diamond from Omniverse 8 being aware of its potential and became paranoid of its existence leading him nearly wiping all traces of it from the Council's database. I happen to uncover the last fragments of his report that failed to be deleted. Furthermore, the Core of that Omniverse is deeply fractured, completely drained of all power. We can deduce with sound reasoning that the landscape of that Omniverse is something out of an apocalypse with everything that could have gone wrong, definitely went wrong. In addition, it is a very wide and vast Omniverse similar to the Main Omniverse. In fact, before its current miserable state, it was a near copy of the Main Omniverse. We are trying to scout and analyze the area as best as we can, but it is blocking all of our scanners. Our supernatural sensors can barely last four seconds before frying when they sense the amount of dark negative energy that shrouds that Omniverse." Velocity, "And the other news?" "We also found a very promising Omniverse that was elusive to our map, but just appeared and is surging with radiant energy from the Light." Venessa abruptly, "Light? Like The Light......... not just colorful lights?" "Correct. Would you care to guess what this Omniverse's number is?" "I would assume it would be the polar opposite of the other, so Omniverse 7,777,777?" "Bingo. Apparently, they have a hierarchy over there and their King requests your presence. His words not mine were King Alexander humbly requests the presence of Empress Venessa of the Main Omniverse and any companions she wishes to bring for a formal meeting in regards to the future protection of the Megaverse."
"Alright, message King Alexander and tell him I will adhere to his request. She accessed her communication com and ordered Tray and Cross to join her on the mission. She then turned to Velocity. I would have you join me on this mission, but I do not want to delay the progress you are making in convincing more Omniverses to join our cause." A short time passed as the three members arrived for their briefing with Venessa. After their meeting, they used their watches and traveled to Omniverse 7,777,777. Their eyes were blinded by the bright rays of the sun, before they could tell where they were at. At last, their eyes adjusted to their environment, which resulted in them being astonished at the shining city that was before them. They observed trains similar to bullet trains zipping back and forth through wind tubes and the residents there in very intricate clothing. The residents either had high collar jackets, dazzling shirts, and most importantly, Venessa could sense all of them having unusual levels of the Light inside of them. A loud voice could be heard behind them. "Are these the people who the King wishes to speak with?" The group turns around and sees two men standing a few feet behind them. One appears six foot and a few inches, he did not wear a shirt but was surrounded with gold and red armor, a long red cape, black pants, and long flowing blonde hair. The other was a little shorter around five feet and possibly 11 inches with black and purple hair, a black and purple cape, purple pants, and purple armor in the exact areas as the first man. The second one responded to his companion in a soft-spoken manner,"Yes, these are the three we were assigned to escort back to the castle." Venessa, "Hey, are you two like siblings or something? You two kind of look alike." The purple one, "That assumption is correct. I am Lucrest and this is my older obnoxious brother Leoped." Leoped, "We are two in a handful of select individuals, who serve the King by carrying out special assignments and investigations." Lucrest, "If you will please follow us, the King is eager to greet you."
The three heroes followed the two guards to the castle, during their walk Venessa teased her sibling, Tray. "It appears those two brothers have larger swords than you. I think they are far superior swordsmen if they can handle large blades like that. It fails to even compare your toothpick of a sword." "Shush! I don't want to hear it. I choose elegance and gracefulness over something flashy." The group finally reached the castle as several guards in colorful shining full body armor saluted the group as they stepped inside the large white crystal doors of the castle. Leoped and Lucrest led the trio right towards the throne room; no sooner than when the doors opened, King Alexander leaped from his throne and welcomed his guests. The King's outfit was composed of expensive black cloth with silver and blue crystals creating his unique armor with gold outlining around the edges and his crown. His hair was white as snow with a cape flowing from his waist with two metallic angelic wings attached to his back. He appeared as someone who was no older than their early 20's, much less muscular than Leoped, while possessing a staggering height of 6,7. "Greetings Empress Venessa, first adopted child of Diamond! A pleasure to finally meet you. Greetings to you Tray, second adopted child of Diamond! And a very warm welcome to Cross, the last member and headmaster of the Royal Guard!" Cross' attitude changed from being standoffish to one of utter shock. No one has addressed him as headmaster since the days of the Clone War. Tray whispered to Venessa, "Headmaster of the Royal Guard? I never knew that about Cross." "Yes, many years in Cross' realm he was headmaster of the Royal Guard, an elite group of warriors who protected his realm from malevolent threats under the orders of a man named the Keeper. This was brought to an end when.........Alastor manipulated him to massacre all of his fellow friends and the Keeper towards the end of the Clone War, mere days before order Kingdom Come was initiated."
King Alexander, "Empress Venessa please accept these gifts as a sign of good will. He signaled for four servants to step forward with bundles of technology and scrolls. The Alphaverse is more than ready to work closely alongside the Megaverse Council to defeat the fallen angels and corrupted souls of the Demonic Council! Please follow me to our war chambers." King Alexander led the heroes down several steps to a room that was protected by several guards. They were granted access and upon entering, the heroes were stunned to see holographic displays of plans and projects that were scattered as two male figures were debating with a female. The figures turned to the doors and quickly turned off the scattered plans and pulled up a file that said, "Propositions and explanation for the Megaverse Council." One unique hologram Venessa saw before it disappeared was a hologram of the Matrix of Eternity with a subject line under it labeled "Restore the Matrix to its former power?" As Venessa was deep in thought, King Alexander spoke to his guests who the other three figures were, "The lanky one with grey hair and a gas mask is our lead chemist, Lorenzo. The other one with him with the crimson operator hat, black and red hair, and basically black and red from his natural wings to his armor adored with many medals is our head of homeland security, Viciate. Last but not least is our lead scientist of technology, and weapons, whose brilliance I cannot put into words, Malissia." Malissia had medium length jet black hair that only left her left eye visible, yet it appeared she had unique facial marks that were long black lines leading up to her eyelids. She wore a long black coat that went just above her ankles with boots in the shape of heels. Nearly everything she wore was black except her shirt which was white with print that resembles computer chips. Malissia, "I prefer to go by M." Tray in a playful manner, "A little gothic in your appearance compared to everyone we've seen today!" "Simply a matter of taste and perception." Tray then noticed Malissia had white irises as the rest of her eyes were black, which created a sense of mystery behind them.
Lorenzo, "The disgraced Royal Guard is here......." King Alexander disappointingly, "Lorenzo......we talked about this." Venessa, "Hey what was that project regarding the Matrix of Eternity about? How would any of you be able to reload it?" King Alexander, "We have the source that originally fueled the Matrix. We were the ones who originally created it." Cross and Tray were shocked to hear such a revelation. Was the king bluffing or legitimately telling the truth? Malissia, "The reason you saw so many other projects scattered was due to these two knuckleheads trying to push these loose ideas my way, knowing full well we had a meeting today." Viciate, "Then Lorenzo and I should be going." Viciate and Lorenzo leave the room as King Alexander and Malissia start speaking with Venessa, Tray, and Cross. Lorenzo and Viciate journeyed far from the castle's boundaries and into the outskirts of the gorgeous city into a dark alleyway where a female was waiting for them. "Have you two finally reached a decision?" Lorenzo, "Yes, we have, Paradox." Paradox in a feminine form smiled while twirling their hair, with a snap of their fingers a contract appeared before Lorenzo and Viciate. "Both of you sign there. Viciate tried to sign with a pen, but Paradox stopped him. Nuh uh uh, in blood!" Viciate pulled a dagger and cut a piece of flesh off him and Lorenzo as they signed the contract that bonded them to Black Hat. See that wasn't so hard. Now I sense you have something to tell me?" Viciate, "The Empress, playboy, and ex-harbinger of darkness are here. They learned of the plans to restore the Matrix of Eternity." A sadistic smile appeared on Paradox's face, "Wonderful! Wonderful! Things could not be better! With your help we can kill those three now and you two will rule this Omniverse as the new kings only in service to Black Hat and the Council. Let them retrieve the remains of the Matrix, and we can either strike before or after they restore the Matrix, then steal it and place it within the treasury with the other dangerous objects that could pose a threat to our reign. Run along now and continue to play your parts like good little errand boys." Paradox gave them a wink. Lorenzo, "Freak! When it comes to your services, we work with you, not for you!" The two then leave as Paradox continues to smile in the shadows.
Back in the war chamber. Venessa, "Impressive. All that you are proposing will greatly benefit us. I can see your offers are sincere, but I must ask, why it took you this long to reveal yourselves?" King Alexander, "That is........simply because of an old law......that had been in effect for thousands of years. I wanted to honor my father and his father, but eventually my consciousness allowed me to overturn that old silly law." Loud footsteps could be running through the halls as a young teenage girl open the doors to the room with pieces of paper in her arms. She began to speak clearly out of breath, "I'm here sister. The documents you wanted." Mallisa, "A few minutes late like usual, Joan." "It's not my fault, military class went on longer than normal! Gosh, how many times do I have to tell you I hate it that mom and dad forced me to become a soldier!" "Everyone, this is my younger sister, Joan. Joan this is Empress Venessa and her two colleagues, Tray and Cross." Everyone exchanged friendly greetings except for Tray who stared at Joan. There was something about Joan that captivated him, it was either the childish way she speaks or the fact she had navy hair like he did. Instead of a handshake, he wrapped both his hands around hers and knelt down, "My fair lady, it is with great honor to meet you. I pray that you will accept my greeting as one of humbleness and may good health and prosperity follow you all the days of your life, my dearest madam." Everyone in the room stared dumbfounded at Tray's speech. Cross, "Where the crap did that come from Shakespeare?" Joan stood there blushing as she stuttered while addressing Tray, "Th....thank y...yo.....you." King Alexander, "Well this meeting is nearing its end, so why don't Tray and Joan spend some time with each other while the rest of us handle the closing logistics?" Mallisa, "WHAT THE?" "Alright it's settled then. Tray and Joan, you two are dismissed."
Joan and Tray stared at each other before she offered Tray some lunch, which he readily agreed to. Alexander turned back to Venessa, "Venessa, if you don't mind, I will like you and your party to stay here the next four days. The first two can be used to handle business regarding our technology and battle tactics as I introduce you to our greatest soldiers, warriors, and fighters. The last two days can be a sort of mini vacation." "Well..........I don't think such an offer will hurt. You have yourself a deal King Alexander!" At lunch Tray and Joan were deep in conversation. Tray, "You look much different than your sister. Your eyes are normal, you are much more cheerful, and just overall livelier." "My sister takes all the stress and responsibilities of the family upon her. That and her role in the kingdom just adds more stress to her. As for her eyes and facial markings, those came when she felt called to the Spring of Restoration." "What now?" "The Spring of Restoration grants those worthy unique properties or powers. Only a select few experience a change from the spring. It is not heavily protected because the spring prevents anyone unworthy from stepping foot in its waters." "Radical." "Mhm!" "So, I heard you fighting with your sister about you hating being trained as a soldier. Why is that?" "It freaking sucks! My parents do not want me to be an astronomer or engineer! They want me to become a Celestial Crusader. On top of that, I don't even get to choose what I want to do or what I want to eat a majority of the time! Eating lunch with you right now is a rare occurrence." "Have you brought your problems to the king?" "Yes, but I don't know if he is hearing my pleas or not. If he's not, I don't blame him, he has a lot on his mind and considering my parents are very influential in terms of politics, if the king makes a brash move, my parents will give him political turmoil." Tray abruptly received a message from Venessa stating their four day stay. He was excited and already made up his mind that he will spend these four days showing Joan the freedom she is missing out on.
The next two days, King Alexander did everything he said he would to Venessa and Cross. Among the strongest warriors and fighters were Ezekiel with his four angelic wings and star saber, Phonix with his ability to control time and fire, Ian with the ability to create things out of metal at will and his large sword in the shape of a key, Vivi with her ability of harnessing animal souls and acquiring their powers and abilities to her disposal, and with several other notable fighters. Yet, the group was slowly stalked by Lorenzo who reported all of their movements to Paradox. The next two days arrived where Venessa and Cross briefly parted ways in order to find some way to relax before returning to base. On the fourth day, Venessa contacted her adoptive mother, Selena, for a special request. She wanted Selena to travel to the Alphaverse with the Matrix of Eternity in order to restore it with wisdom capable of changing the tide of the war. As for Joan and Tray, the two traveled all across the kingdom from going to the beach, kayaking, visiting the aquarium, and art museum. Tray taught Joan how to properly duel and was deeply proud when she complimented him on his elegant sword. Unknown to them Viciate was also reporting their activities to Paradox. On one of their stops, Joan brought Tray to the Spring of Restoration just for them to sight see. Yet, she was startled when Tray stopped responding to her. His eyes were affixed at the spring as he slowly started to step towards it. Joan tried to stop him, but her petite body could not stop him.
Suddenly, he stopped on the edge of the spring and bent down scooping up the water as he started to drink it from his hands. Joan was confused at Tray's behavior, "Are you......alright?" Before Tray could turn around, he collapsed on the ground. "TRAY!" She ran to him, but when she arrived, his eyes opened wildly as his body started to glow with an unearthly light. Tray's body started to transform with his pupils becoming white similar to Mallisa but instead of the other part of his eye becoming black, it became a bright cyan color. His navy hair became white with a few streaks of cyan along with his olive skin changing to being white as quartz. His outfit even started to change around him with his clothes glowing with a clear like cyan substance with a hood gently resting on his hair. Gold embroidered his collar as a unique glowing cyan halo appearing over his head. "Joan.....please tell me I'm not dead." "I uhhhh you mmmmmmm I guess not? Here let me show you what you look like." Joan opened her camera and took a photo of him in order for Tray to see the photo. "Oh my gosh I became even more handsome." "Seriously, that's what you think about after looking like you just died on me!" "Hey, I'm sorry for zoning out on you like that. I just heard a soothing voice calling me from the Spring and I could not help but follow it." "The voice was more than soothing than mine?!" "Well yes...CRAP NO NOT LIKE THAT I SWEAR!" Joan started punching Tray as he let out a hearty laugh. From the shadows Viciate contacted Paradox on what happened and for Paradox to arrive swiftly to exterminate the couple.
The two continued on their walk after having their emotions die down. Yet, there was a sort of tension in the air between the two as one waited for the other to speak first. At last, Tray was the one to break the tension as he stopped Joan and decided to finally reveal to her the thoughts that had been plaguing his mind the past few days. "Joan, I don't know how to say this but, whenever I am around you, I just feel warm inside and what I could only describe as butterflies, erupt in my stomach." Joan blushed deeply before responding, "Oh Tray!" "Joan, if you do not want to enlist in the Celestial Crusaders, you don't have to. I'm offering you a choice. I see how much you care for your older sister and your eagerness for freedom. I encourage you to follow your heart and join me. I promise with every fiber in my being that my family and I will protect you and support you with whatever decision you make." Joan with tears in her eyes. "Oh Tray! Thank you! I want to briefly stay here so I can help my sister with any last assignments and join you on exploring the Megaverse and you taking me back to the Omniverse you call home! Thank you, thank you for being such a wonderful person to me these past four days. Truthfully, I can say I feel the same when I am around you. Your outgoing free-spirited nature is very cute and contagious." Tray extends his hand towards Joan, "Then what are we waiting for? Take my hand and I will show you all the wonderful places in my Omniverse! Obviously after you are done helping your sister of course." He gave her a big comforting smile as he waited for her to wipe the tears of gratitude off her face. However, just before she could place her hand in his, a gunshot went off as a singular bullet went through the right side of Joan's head and exited out of the left. Tray opened his eyes and was horrified at the pool of blood emerging from Joan's body as she lay lifeless on the ground. He was shaken as he heard a sickening laugh. He hastily turned his head to the direction of the laughter.
Tray's eyes widened in confusion as he saw Gadget Bandito emerge from the shadows. "What.....what are you doing here? How did you get here? Why have you done this after being a loyal member of the Initiative for many years?!" "Doesn't matter. Any last words kid?" Tray thought inwardly, "Wait......no......there is no way he is the real Gadget Bandito. The real one does not even know a lot of the Megaverse, much less keep up with any news from the Initiative." He finally spoke out loud. "My powers and senses are telling me you are Gadget Bandito. But my heart, mind, and soul tell me otherwise! WHO ARE YOU?" Paradox finally revealed himself to Tray as he morphed into his mechanical appearance. Tray finally spoke after being at a loss for words, "I know you. I know who you are. No, you are not even a person anymore. You have turned yourself into something unrecognizable. I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE! YOU ARE THE CREATURE WHO MURDERED MY FATHER'S PARENTS ON THE NIGHT OF HOLY THURSDAY!" Paradox had a twisted malicious grin on his mechanical face as he spoke, "Aren't you a smart one." Tray began to channel his new powers granted to him from the Spring of Restoration. "I WILL NOT ONLY AVENGE THE DEATH OF DIAMOND'S PARENTS! BUT FOR JOAN WHO YOU SHOT IN COLD BLOOD! DIE YOU BODY MORPHING BASTARD!"
Filled with pure rage, Tray could not control his powers as Paradox merely toyed with him before using Tray's disorientation to his advantage. Paradox was able to overpower the young hero, but briefly underestimated his new power buff when Tray's halo pierced itself into Paradox's chest. This comeback was shortly lived due to the intervention of Viciate who incapacitated Tray and tied him up. Elsewhere, Venessa felt a disturbance in her gut and thus gathered Cross and met with King Alexander to ask where Tray and Joan were at. The King did not know of their location much to the dismay of Venessa, but suddenly in the throne room a thick green mist entered the room which knocked the guards and the heroes unconscious. Lorenzo did his best to pick up the bodies of the heroes and tie them up, "Now we just wait for the Queen of Asteria to arrive and snatch the Matrix from her by ransoming these hostages."
Meanwhile Selena took care of Diamond and would not allow him out of her sight. If he had to leave her house, she would go with him wherever he went, due to the public opinion on him fiercely divided. There were some who believed the attacks were caused by him while others knew that he would never do such a thing and it had to be an imposter. She would fiercely criticize any bystander who booed or tried to assault Diamond. Diamond on the other hand did not like how Selena was being overprotective of him, and her reasoning was that his mental state was not in a good place. Truthfully, it felt like he was on house arrest. One day the two of them took a nap on Selena's couch, when Selena was notified to embark on the mission to Omniverse 7,777,777. She did not have Diamond know what mission it was, but said it was important. "Don't do anything stupid or silly while I'm gone. And do not go on any adventures either! If I find out you left the town, you won't hear the end of it!" "Alright sheesh I got it."
Selena traveled to Sanctuary and entered one of the passwords a few of the elite members possessed in order to gain access to the broken remains of the Matrix of Eternity. She grabbed the pieces and created a portal to the Alphaverse. Once Selena teleported off to her mission, Diamond took advantage of this opportunity and decided to venture into town. He grabbed his Bluetooth earbuds and walked outside to his favorite coffee shop. While walking, he played Have You Ever Seen The Rain, by Creedence Clearwater Revival, one of his father's favorite bands. He could not resist but sing along with the lyrics, "When it's over so they say it'll rain a sunny day, I know, shining down like water. I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain? I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain? Coming down on a sunny day." During his stroll a handful of protestors spotted him and began to yell, "Murderer! Thief! Crook! Liar!" One such protestor threw a pot of hot water at him, which nearly resulted in Diamond retaliated, but he bore these wrongs patiently and continued on his way. He turned a corner into an alleyway and started to dance and jump in the puddles. On the other side were a set of stairs where he slowly danced his way down each step to the closing parts of the song still singing with raw emotion. "Yeaaaaahhhhhhhh I wanna know have you seen the rain? I wanna know have you ever seen the rain? Coming down on a sunny day."
He turned off his music when he entered the doors of the small shop and waited patiently in line. After he finished placing his order and pulled out his wallet to pay, the cashier whispered to him, "It's on the house. You are still a hero to us who work here." "Are you sure ma'am?" "Yes. It'll be out shortly." He took a seat near a window and started reading the local newspaper in silence. Just then a little boy who was with his parents came to his side and started to speak with him. "Excuse me sir, but are you, Diamond?" Diamond chuckled to himself, "Well there is no use in hiding my identity. Yes, I am." "Can you tell me what it was like during the year I was born?" "Uh, odd request but yeah I can tell you, first I have to ask how old are you?" "I just turned four!" "Well happy birthday! Let's see four years ago was 2016.....wait no it was 2020. Gosh was 2020 four years ago? Man, all these adventures all start flowing together kid. So, around this time an old enemy of mine named......" Diamond abruptly stopped speaking as he felt a disturbance. "Named who, sir?" Diamond stood up and slowly walked to the doors as a giant explosion went off in the center of town. Everyone started screaming, running in all directions from the blast, as Diamond signaled his AI using his nanotech vision glasses. "HONEY what are we looking at? HONEY? Crap I never turned you back on." Diamond hastily had his nanotech grow on his left arm as he turned on the setting to activate HONEY. "I'm back! Are you ok boss, did you do anything brash when I was gone?" "We can catch up later HONEY, right now I need you to prevent traffic from entering this street and alert the local authorities." "Yes sir!"
While all of this was happening on Earth, Selena's portal finally brought her to the Alphaverse. She begins to mutter to herself, "Alright Venessa I'm here. Hopefully we can get this done quickly, because I don't trust Diamond being by himself." Selena was cautious of her surroundings, due to being greeted with an eerie vacant throne room. She suddenly heard a quiet "help me," this prompted her to locate the source of the voice which resulted in her finding Lorenzo lying next to a pillar. "Please help me." "Who did this to you, where are they now, and have you seen a young girl with pink and blue hair go by?" Selena used her powers to silently read the injured person's mind, but before her powers could alert her of it being a trap, she heard another voice which caused her pupils to shrink with fear. "Hello my precious doll." Selena turned to face the new voice and to her horror, she saw Paradox standing behind her, appearing the same way he looked the day before he died. The trauma from the mistreatment and terror she received from him overridden her senses and caused her to stand completely motionless. Behind her Lorenzo leaped and took off his mask expelling a strong toxin into her lungs causing her to faint and drop the pieces of the Matrix. Lorenzo, "Why did you change the plan to capture her instead of bargaining with her?" Paradox, "Because I want the last thing, they see is me holding the reloaded Matrix and handing it over to my masters." Paradox then switched back to his mechanical body and wrapped Selena in thick pairs of chains. He then took her body along with the rest of the heroes to the depths of the castle.
Simultaneously on Earth, Diamond slowly made his way to the source of the blast as he yelled at the pedestrians to head southbound. When he reached the center of the blast three figures emerged. A hulking lizard creature, a humanoid squid, and a tall figure wrapped in black cloth with piercing red goggles. "HEY! THIS TOWN IS CLOSED TO THUGS LIKE YOU TODAY!" The man in black cloth responded back, "We were wishing for a fight with Selena, but facing you is even better!" "I suggest you stand down before I rip a tentacle from your friend Squidward!" "Grok shut his mouth." The hulking creature lifted his axe from his back and started charging at Diamond. Diamond tapped his chest as his nanotech started to form around him as he created several large blasters from his back and fired at Grok. The blasts sent Grok flying backwards to his two other companions, but the man in black simply waved his hand to the right which sent Grok crashing into a local store. Diamond flew towards the humanoid squid and started punching him with unrelenting force that caused the squid to vomit quantities of ink. The man in black teleported behind Diamond and used his mystic powers to gain the upper hand by distorting the reality around them. The squid shaped his head into a spear and tried to pierce Diamond with his poison, but Diamond dodged it and sent him hurdling towards the man in black, breaking the reality illusion. He then had his suit create a sticky net which he shot to capture both the man in black and squid. Grok finally managed to get back up, but upon seeing his comrades captured, he clicked a button on his belt that resulted in him exploding creating a blast deadlier than the first. Diamond noticed there were a few people that were in the blast radius of this second explosion and flew towards them using his strength to hold the falling debris from the tall business building. The debris piled the streets with dust and papers, until the sound of sirens broke the silence. Law enforcement arrested the two other villains while Diamond was barely holding large portions of fallen walls, glass, and stone from crushing him and the civilians under him. The leading officer noticed Diamond struggling in the debris, but decided not to help him, he thought to himself, "Let's see if he can truly save others and be the hero the weak minded believe him to be." The crushing weight began to take a toll on Diamond as he slowly began to lose his footing until he was on his knees holding the debris up.
"I promise.....I will get all of you out alive!" Negative thoughts began to enter his mind as various voices began to call out. "You are not good enough. You couldn't save your own parents; how can you save these unfortunate souls? You are playing a fool's game. See how the law enforcement refuses to acknowledge your existence. Face it your story is over. Finished. You are nothing but a weak boy who thought he could have been a great hero." Diamond tried to block out these voices, but they began to take a toll on him, nearly causing him to give up, but then a quiet voice entered his mind. A voice smooth like honey but strong as thunder echoed in his mind. "You are something more. Look inside yourself, you are something far more than when you started all those years ago as a small-town hero. Do not listen to their empty words, listen to me. Do you renounce sin?" "I do." "Do you renounce the Devil, the sin whisperer, and all his empty promises?" "I do!" "Do you believe in the Faith of your fathers, the Resurrection, and life everlasting?" "I do!" "Arise my child." At that very moment Diamond felt the power of the Light course through him at greater quantities than before as his body began to glow with gold and white light. With a newfound access to the Light, Diamond felt it was only natural to change the wording when harnessing its power, "Through the power of Heaven's Light.......All things are possible!" Diamond effortlessly lifted the debris away from him as the civilians under his care ran to the rest of the crowd. The onlookers stared at Diamond's glowing gold and white body. They were baffled in amazement as a few murmured amongst themselves, "Truly this is the act of a selfless hero."
Diamond did not hear the crowd's cheers, whistles, and praises as he stood deep in contemplation. Deep within his soul, he was able to sense his family was in grave danger. With his connection to the Light restored, he made it his new mission to travel to the Omniverse where he sensed the disturbance. He quietly spoke to himself, "Oh yeah I'm ready to whip the person who is so bent on ruining my life! But first, I have to do it in style. He allowed his suit to create two large speakers; HONEY make sure the volume is on max. Time for us to go back into the Megaverse!"
To Be Continued In The Alphaverse Part 2

I don’t know if i’m just being too sensitive over the fact that i get sooo upset when my mom refers to my daughter as her baby. I went to her house to hang out, and she ran to the car saying “where’s my baby, gimme my baby” and she facetimes me asking to “talk to my baby bc i miss my peanut”.
Now, it annoys me so much and actually makes me soo angry and upset. I had a rough labor. Things didn’t go as planned and I had to do an emergency c-section. I wasn’t able to hold her for a couple hours after she was born bc i was so sick after anesthesia and couldn’t feel my arms and didn’t feel safe holding my baby, which absolutely BROKE me as it is. I beat myself up over it.
My mom being my support person, they suggested skin to skin would be best for baby, and she offered and i didn’t wanna say no because i’d feel bad but that made me feel worse bc i feel like that moment was robbed from me. That shoulda be me with my baby. and i beat myself up every. single. day. about it bc i wish i was able to just hold my baby. but no. it was her.
She got to hold her first, she did first skin to skin, heck she posted and announced her birth first which boils my blood even more.
And now she keeps referring to my baby as hers, and i know people say “omg there’s my baby” about babys that they are close with but idk if feels different in this situation.
Not to mention, she doesn’t even acknowledges i am even there she goes right to the baby, and only calls to see the baby and it just makes me feel so… sad, which is an understatement to say the least.
i’m so tired of it, and i know it’ll become a problem if i bring it up.
sorry this is a vent post bc i have nowhere else to turn bc my friends all dropped me now that i have a baby and literally have no support.

This isn't a diss post- I know true crime interest is a thing and am not mad there is fans of this show, I just need to state something as I was born, grew up and live in Victoria and grew up with this case all around me.
To start, I didn't know this was made into a show and now feel absolutely nauseous upon finding out.. the tumblr edits, this subreddit even existing, its all too surreal for me. Not dissing you guys at all or anyone making the edits, im just going through a lot as this case is one of the worst our city has ever had and we grew up on the details of this in our homes, schools, churches and daily lives. We drive over the spot Reena died daily. I know true crime is a large interest and I had it once too- I just need to get something off my chest as I feel like crying rn...
I want you all to know how fresh this still feels for a lot of us and if your a really big fan of the show and not from here + plan on visiting the Craigflower bridge, to please not come in interest and instead come with the thought on how you yourself can advocate for something like this to never happen again in your own area- whether that be through advocacy for anti-bullying, telling your kids about speaking up when something is wrong or public discussion surrounding pack mentality/bullying.
I also want to make sure, if this show is shying away from how much of an actual psychopath Kelly Ellard (who now goes by Kerry Marie Sim) is as the book this is based on is written by someone who tried to find the "humanity" in people like Kelly- that you all know there is no humanity in Kelly and there is no factor about "trauma/upbringing" and how that might have led to what she did- she feels no remorse for what she did, was violent even before this and though I hate the lot of them all for what they did, at least Warren expressed remorse.
In her recent parole hearing, Kelly states that this show "is disrespectful towards the victim's family" so know this- Kelly has now learned to say what they want to hear, she gives 0 fucks about what Reena's family feels, she just wants to be able to move on from her actions. She is actual slime, and is a stain on our city. We will never, ever forget what her and her friends did. She can go on and on about how "hard" life is for her, but fails to remember she is the one who caused that hardship. Reading her insta posts make me fucking sick.
I urge you to also look up what the show missed.
End of the PSA.

Hi, I need to vent a little. I’m a 20F and I have recently gotten out of a relationship with a 22M, and since I’m involving myself with someone new, I’ve been rethinking some things so I don’t make the same mistakes again.
My ex was not only my first boyfriend, but also the first man I kissed and had a deep connection with. I met him when I was 19, he lives nearby. Since we’re neighbors, my family and almost everyone in the neighborhood knew him and his family. When we started dating, our relationship was perfect, It seemed like we had everything in common and we would agree on almost every aspect of life.
I don’t know exactly when this problem started, but since the first time we tried sex I couldn’t open myself to him, I was embarrassed and scared, I couldn’t trust him. So I kept convincing him and myself that I didn’t like to be touched, and it would only be me touching him in this kind of situation. I felt that things were always rushed with him, that he wouldn’t take the time making me feel comfortable and loved before touching my private areas… I would tell him to take it slow and he tried sometimes, but It always felt artificial, like It was an obligation for him, not something he enjoyed :( So I just gave up trying, and one year went by smoothly, as we made plans of studying together abroad, of trying to make an income to get out of our parents houses and all the stuff young adults tend to dream of.
We agreed in lots of things (not all things, as I will explain later on) , as in personal values, principles, and political views. I noticed it from the first time we met that he was very interested in politics, philosophy and psychology, he would talk hours about those and even If I didn’t understand much of what he talked about, like some specific things about psychoanalysis, I would force myself to learn about it. It was really hard for me to try to learn about things I wasn’t interested, and It kind of affected my self-esteem, I started thinking I was dumb (I’m am engineering student, humanities is not really my thing lol). It would mostly be him leading the conversations, and I had a feeling he was strongly convinced of everything he talked about, like he was really proud of his intelligence. In the first, I thought it was nice and charming, but I started noticing some weird patterns…
When he had an ideia or problem, He would always come up with definitive solutions like: folllowing a new political agenda, buying extremely expensive tools, stop talking to all his friends, practicing a new physical activity until he got hurt, etc…, and I could never change his mind in any aspect, he wouldn’t listen, so I had to go along. With all these subtle changes of context, my anxiety sky-rocketed many times and I had multiple identity crises, but I was stupid enough not to notice the cause-effect correlation… neither did him.
During my anxiety episodes, he would try to psychoanalyze me and find the reason behind my suffering, I never liked it and I told him many times, but he said that even if It was unpleasant for me, he needed to make me rationalize instead of just cry. I always told him that I just wanted to be conforted, but he wouldn’t even be close to me physically when I was desperate, he would sit in a chair and try to bring back my family issues… I could feel he had no bad intentions, but It hurt anyway.
The third issue were some of his extremist views… In the beginning of our relationship, he was more left-wing leaning, but he would already say some things like “homosexuality and transexuality are a disease of mind”, but that he respected all people equally. I was clear to say that I was against this point of view, I tried to argument multiple times, but as I said before, his opinion was unshaken.
All these issues started building up during last year, so I broke up with him in the end of the year. I told him I couldn’t trust him as he deserved, and that I was really sick with anxiety and low self-esteem, all of these were true, but it wasn’t all. I could’t be honest with him because I didn’t want him to say “I’ll be better”, because I kew he wouldn’t and I didn’t have the strength to keep trying. But it was true that I still loved him. I was broken. I spent the next 3 months going through hell, rotting in my bad, anxious and depressed. I would occasionally meet him at home, so he saw I wasn’t over him. In February, after him repeatedly saying I wasn’t thinking straight when we broke up, I convinced myself of that and we got back together.
When we got back I remembered the sweet past, when we were deeply in love. It was magical for 3 weeks or something, when I found out he had converted to religion when we were apart, and his extremist views became even more dangerous, he became a conspiracist. He tried to push his new views down my throat, telling me my mental state was deteriorating because I’m part of a degenerated and nihilist generation, saying he was once like that to (he also had pretty bad depression when he was a teen). To be honest, this fucking terrified me… My admiration towards him kind of died. So we naturally distanced ourselves for weeks, and finally we had a disgusting and childish argument about religion (online).
In April, what happened was: A guy from my university started to hit on me, and I didn’t realize… My mind was numbed from everything I was going through, so I didn’t even pay attention, for me he was just another friend I made that would help me understand a subject better. The problem is, without me even noticing, he was making my days gradually easier to get through. He helped me study for a hard test, he motivated me. But because it was never just the 2 of us studying, even if the thought crossed my mind once, I didn’t really consider the possibility of him liking me more than a friend.
Back to my ex-boyfriend, I came to a point where it was insufferable for us two. We were just playing pretend, and he agreed the situation was bad, but the person who gave up was me (once again…) and we broke up. We cried, but at the same time, our last talk was… sore. I lied to him, in an attempt to to justify my feelings and so it wouldn’t hurt him so much, I told him the vague justification that I was not confident enough and the we didn’t agree on anything anymore… I told him I didn’t want to have kids (though maybe I do want it), and I wasn’t sure marriage is my life purpose, and that I needed some time for myself, out a relationship… he respected my decision.
One week after, that guy I met sent me a message, and we started gossiping about people from our uni course. It was fun and shy at first, but when we started talking at university, we started getting closer. The boy is a gentleman, he’s calm, careful, sensible. We can have a balanced conversation, cause he listens to me, he is truly interested in my personal tastes and he never forces a topic. I’ve never felt this comfortable in my entire life. It feels like someone pulled me from hell to heaven. Yeah, I know most of it is probably the passion effect.
However, the feeling of guilt can’t seem to leave me… I feel guilty of lying to my ex, of saying rude things, of hurting him twice. And now, I feel guilty I’m falling for someone new… not only do I feel guilt, I’m also afraid. Afraid of everything repeating. Afraid of him not being able to deal with my anxiety, of him only being nice in the beginning… I fear my mind is creating an illusion of a great person. Because, in the end, I am insecure, and I lack confidence.
I kissed this guy yesterday and I felt things I couldn’t describe… It felt magical, comfortable, reassuring… After the date we had, I told him all about my past relationship, I wanted to be honest. I thought he would back off, but on the contrary, he told me about his past relationship too and it was surprisingly similar to mine. He pulled me closer and told me not to worry and that he was glad I trusted him. God… that made me melt.
Well, I don’t expect you to solve this puzzle for me… But I’m open for judgment and advices. What should I do? Should I keep seeing this guy? Should I tell him that we need to do things slowly? Is my mental health well enough to engage in something new? Should I talk to my ex again or would it just make things worse? I fear that if I keep this up my ex will eventually find this out, and he will know I lied to him anyway. I care about his feelings and mental health.
Now it’s time to tell all of this to my therapist, thanks.

“Awww I’m sorry baby. Are you ok? You’re not pregnant are you?”