I was a busboy at the Cocoanut Grove. That Saturday, the place was a heaving mass of humanity. Soldiers on leave, couples on dates, socialites, and gangsters—the club was their playground, and I was just an invisible part of the scenery. The air was a haze of smoke and alcohol, thick enough to choke on.
It was around 10:15 PM when I first saw him. A man in a dark, heavy coat, standing by the service door near the kitchen. Odd attire for such a warm, crowded club, but what really caught my eye was his face. His eyes were black pits, empty yet somehow full of a cold, malevolent hunger. His smile was a razor-thin line, cutting through his face like a wound. He gestured for me to come closer, but before I could move, he slipped into the kitchen.
Seconds later, the lights flickered, and fire erupted in the Melody Lounge. The flames didn’t spread—they leapt, as if alive, cutting off exits with a terrifying, unnatural precision. Panic ignited, and the crowd became a stampede. I tried to guide people to safety, but the fire seemed to anticipate our every move.
As I fought my way toward the kitchen, hoping for another way out, I witnessed horrors that will forever be etched into my memory.
The first was a young woman in a red dress. She had been dancing with her boyfriend moments before the fire broke out. When the flames began to spread, she tried to run, but the crowd was too thick. She stumbled and fell right in front of me. In the chaos, no one stopped to help her. The flames reached her, and her screams pierced through the cacophony. Her dress ignited, the fabric melting into her skin. I watched in horror as her flesh bubbled and peeled away, revealing raw, charred muscle beneath. Her eyes locked onto mine, pleading for help, before the fire consumed her completely. I couldn’t do anything but keep moving, the image of her agony seared into my mind.
Further ahead, near the bar, a middle-aged man, a regular at the club, was pounding on a locked door that led to the staff area. His hands were bloody, and his face was contorted in sheer panic. The smoke was thickening, making it hard to breathe. I saw him drop to his knees, clawing at his throat as he began to choke. His skin turned a sickly blue as he suffocated. The fire found him next, wrapping around his legs and creeping up his body. His screams were a mix of terror and pain as the flames cooked him alive, turning him into a grotesque statue of blackened bone and seared flesh. I wanted to help, but the fire was relentless, and I had to keep moving.
Near the back exit, which had been illegally locked to prevent people from sneaking in without paying, I saw a young couple—newlyweds celebrating their honeymoon. The husband was trying to shield his wife with his body as they pounded on the unyielding door. The fire closed in, and I heard their desperate cries for help. The flames licked at their legs, their screams merging into a single, horrifying wail. The husband’s back blistered and burst, his skin sloughing off in sheets. The wife’s hair ignited, and she clawed at her scalp in a futile attempt to extinguish the flames. They held each other as they burned, their bodies fusing together in a grotesque, charred embrace. I was frozen in place, unable to look away, until a surge of heat pushed me to keep moving.
I fought through the flames, dodging falling debris and stumbling over lifeless bodies. The heat was unbearable, the air thick with smoke and the stench of burning flesh. Finally, I found a side door and burst into the alley, gulping in the cool night air. As I looked back, the building was fully engulfed, the screams of the trapped mingling with an unholy laughter that echoed in my ears long after.
The official reports blamed faulty wiring and overcrowding, but I know better. The man in the dark coat—he wasn’t human. He was something ancient, something that revels in chaos and feeds on fear. Since that night, I’ve been plagued by dark dreams and even darker realities. Doors in my house creak open on their own, whispers drift through the night, and I see shadows moving just beyond my vision.
Every anniversary, the nightmares get worse, and I feel his presence more acutely. It’s as if the fire forged a bond between us, a bond I can’t break. I’ve tried to tell my story, but no one believes me. They think I’m just a traumatized survivor, driven mad by the horrors I witnessed.
But I know the truth. And now, so do you.
If you’re reading this, I’m begging, heed my warning. On the anniversary of the Cocoanut Grove fire, stay away from dark, crowded places. If you see a man in a dark coat with eyes like voids, don’t approach him. Run, and don’t look back.
Because once he marks you, there’s no escape. The flames will find you, and Hell will claim its due.
Tonight, as I write this, I can feel the heat building, the shadows lengthening. He’s close. I can hear his whisper just beyond the door. I don’t know if I’ll survive another anniversary, but if I don’t, remember my story.
Remember that some fires are more than just flames. They are gateways, and some doors should never be opened.

I've been reading this subreddit for quite a while, and a MEF subreddit for a bit (only recently did I learn about the existence of this term). I thought I was AGP (or a transvestic fetishist with a particular kink), but now I'm wondering if I'm not that much of an AGP.
Since childhood, I've had the strange peculiarity of associating bare feet with shame. I was very ashamed of exposing my legs, and especially feet. To this day, I don't expose my legs or feet in public. I remember one day in childhood when I suddenly put on shorts and sandals and went outside, and how aroused I was because of the perceived shame I felt. I would feel about the same today if I transitioned and dressed in a particular way as a woman, but back then I could feel like that as a boy, wearing a socially acceptable outfit. [So this aspect was not AGP back then.] I never repeated that again, but I found joy in self-bondage, in which I bound my feet and did certain things to cause myself a certain kind of pain to get off. When puberty came and body hair began to grow, and it was a taboo for me to shave it, my psyche had to find an alternative. Because a manly, hairy, non-soft and non-fragile kind of being didn't pair well with the idea of humiliation, and because the idea of humiliation started to become sexual with puberty, I reframed the image of a humiliated being from a barefoot boy in shorts to a barefoot girl in a miniskirt. Because of the ingrained body shaving taboo, I didn't even think about cross-dressing and thus doing my self-bondage sessions in that image. Also, cross-dressing would've been another ingrained taboo, so I only started to shave legs and cross-dress when I was 27.
I cross-dress only for the purpose of getting off from self-humimiliation. But when I'm cross-dressed, I don't think of myself as of a man, probably more like as of a woman, or someone gender-undefined. In other words, thinking of my gender during my cross-dressing sessions is probably not too important to me. What's more important is just what I look like, without clear labels being attached. I feel humiliated only when I dress in a certain way. I need to look feminine and vulnerable, but I don't care about breasts, though I would do something to conceal my willy. This is how this chain works: clothes, makeup, hair, self-bondage (now usually before a mirror), certain kinds of pain, postures. For some time I also used to insert some items, as an additional layer of deep humiliation. So, just until recently I would think that I'm AGP, but only for the purpose of self-humiliation, and only in a certain kind of outfit. Even before doing any self-bondage, just the process of cross-dressing and applying makeup makes me feel aroused in a very peculiar way (not necessarily accompanied by an erection), and already makes me feel kind of humiliated. But again, this has to be a particular kind of feminine outfit, for otherwise I won't feel as excited. So, is this AGP or MEF, or both?
I don't remember what kind of emasculation or humiliation trauma I might have gotten in my childhood. Could it be that it's burried somewhere in my subconcious, and is it possible to get it to the surface?

I was a busboy at the Cocoanut Grove. That Saturday, the place was a heaving mass of humanity. Soldiers on leave, couples on dates, socialites, and gangsters—the club was their playground, and I was just an invisible part of the scenery. The air was a haze of smoke and alcohol, thick enough to choke on.
It was around 10:15 PM when I first saw him. A man in a dark, heavy coat, standing by the service door near the kitchen. Odd attire for such a warm, crowded club, but what really caught my eye was his face. His eyes were black pits, empty yet somehow full of a cold, malevolent hunger. His smile was a razor-thin line, cutting through his face like a wound. He gestured for me to come closer, but before I could move, he slipped into the kitchen.
Seconds later, the lights flickered, and fire erupted in the Melody Lounge. The flames didn’t spread—they leapt, as if alive, cutting off exits with a terrifying, unnatural precision. Panic ignited, and the crowd became a stampede. I tried to guide people to safety, but the fire seemed to anticipate our every move.
As I fought my way toward the kitchen, hoping for another way out, I witnessed horrors that will forever be etched into my memory.
The first was a young woman in a red dress. She had been dancing with her boyfriend moments before the fire broke out. When the flames began to spread, she tried to run, but the crowd was too thick. She stumbled and fell right in front of me. In the chaos, no one stopped to help her. The flames reached her, and her screams pierced through the cacophony. Her dress ignited, the fabric melting into her skin. I watched in horror as her flesh bubbled and peeled away, revealing raw, charred muscle beneath. Her eyes locked onto mine, pleading for help, before the fire consumed her completely. I couldn’t do anything but keep moving, the image of her agony seared into my mind.
Further ahead, near the bar, a middle-aged man, a regular at the club, was pounding on a locked door that led to the staff area. His hands were bloody, and his face was contorted in sheer panic. The smoke was thickening, making it hard to breathe. I saw him drop to his knees, clawing at his throat as he began to choke. His skin turned a sickly blue as he suffocated. The fire found him next, wrapping around his legs and creeping up his body. His screams were a mix of terror and pain as the flames cooked him alive, turning him into a grotesque statue of blackened bone and seared flesh. I wanted to help, but the fire was relentless, and I had to keep moving.
Near the back exit, which had been illegally locked to prevent people from sneaking in without paying, I saw a young couple—newlyweds celebrating their honeymoon. The husband was trying to shield his wife with his body as they pounded on the unyielding door. The fire closed in, and I heard their desperate cries for help. The flames licked at their legs, their screams merging into a single, horrifying wail. The husband’s back blistered and burst, his skin sloughing off in sheets. The wife’s hair ignited, and she clawed at her scalp in a futile attempt to extinguish the flames. They held each other as they burned, their bodies fusing together in a grotesque, charred embrace. I was frozen in place, unable to look away, until a surge of heat pushed me to keep moving.
I fought through the flames, dodging falling debris and stumbling over lifeless bodies. The heat was unbearable, the air thick with smoke and the stench of burning flesh. Finally, I found a side door and burst into the alley, gulping in the cool night air. As I looked back, the building was fully engulfed, the screams of the trapped mingling with an unholy laughter that echoed in my ears long after.
The official reports blamed faulty wiring and overcrowding, but I know better. The man in the dark coat—he wasn’t human. He was something ancient, something that revels in chaos and feeds on fear. Since that night, I’ve been plagued by dark dreams and even darker realities. Doors in my house creak open on their own, whispers drift through the night, and I see shadows moving just beyond my vision.
Every anniversary, the nightmares get worse, and I feel his presence more acutely. It’s as if the fire forged a bond between us, a bond I can’t break. I’ve tried to tell my story, but no one believes me. They think I’m just a traumatized survivor, driven mad by the horrors I witnessed.
But I know the truth. And now, so do you.
If you’re reading this, I’m begging, heed my warning. On the anniversary of the Cocoanut Grove fire, stay away from dark, crowded places. If you see a man in a dark coat with eyes like voids, don’t approach him. Run, and don’t look back.
Because once he marks you, there’s no escape. The flames will find you, and Hell will claim its due.
Tonight, as I write this, I can feel the heat building, the shadows lengthening. He’s close. I can hear his whisper just beyond the door. I don’t know if I’ll survive another anniversary, but if I don’t, remember my story.
Remember that some fires are more than just flames. They are gateways, and some doors should never be opened.

I was a busboy at the Cocoanut Grove. That Saturday, the place was a heaving mass of humanity. Soldiers on leave, couples on dates, socialites, and gangsters—the club was their playground, and I was just an invisible part of the scenery. The air was a haze of smoke and alcohol, thick enough to choke on.
It was around 10:15 PM when I first saw him. A man in a dark, heavy coat, standing by the service door near the kitchen. Odd attire for such a warm, crowded club, but what really caught my eye was his face. His eyes were black pits, empty yet somehow full of a cold, malevolent hunger. His smile was a razor-thin line, cutting through his face like a wound. He gestured for me to come closer, but before I could move, he slipped into the kitchen.
Seconds later, the lights flickered, and fire erupted in the Melody Lounge. The flames didn’t spread—they leapt, as if alive, cutting off exits with a terrifying, unnatural precision. Panic ignited, and the crowd became a stampede. I tried to guide people to safety, but the fire seemed to anticipate our every move.
As I fought my way toward the kitchen, hoping for another way out, I witnessed horrors that will forever be etched into my memory.
The first was a young woman in a red dress. She had been dancing with her boyfriend moments before the fire broke out. When the flames began to spread, she tried to run, but the crowd was too thick. She stumbled and fell right in front of me. In the chaos, no one stopped to help her. The flames reached her, and her screams pierced through the cacophony. Her dress ignited, the fabric melting into her skin. I watched in horror as her flesh bubbled and peeled away, revealing raw, charred muscle beneath. Her eyes locked onto mine, pleading for help, before the fire consumed her completely. I couldn’t do anything but keep moving, the image of her agony seared into my mind.
Further ahead, near the bar, a middle-aged man, a regular at the club, was pounding on a locked door that led to the staff area. His hands were bloody, and his face was contorted in sheer panic. The smoke was thickening, making it hard to breathe. I saw him drop to his knees, clawing at his throat as he began to choke. His skin turned a sickly blue as he suffocated. The fire found him next, wrapping around his legs and creeping up his body. His screams were a mix of terror and pain as the flames cooked him alive, turning him into a grotesque statue of blackened bone and seared flesh. I wanted to help, but the fire was relentless, and I had to keep moving.
Near the back exit, which had been illegally locked to prevent people from sneaking in without paying, I saw a young couple—newlyweds celebrating their honeymoon. The husband was trying to shield his wife with his body as they pounded on the unyielding door. The fire closed in, and I heard their desperate cries for help. The flames licked at their legs, their screams merging into a single, horrifying wail. The husband’s back blistered and burst, his skin sloughing off in sheets. The wife’s hair ignited, and she clawed at her scalp in a futile attempt to extinguish the flames. They held each other as they burned, their bodies fusing together in a grotesque, charred embrace. I was frozen in place, unable to look away, until a surge of heat pushed me to keep moving.
I fought through the flames, dodging falling debris and stumbling over lifeless bodies. The heat was unbearable, the air thick with smoke and the stench of burning flesh. Finally, I found a side door and burst into the alley, gulping in the cool night air. As I looked back, the building was fully engulfed, the screams of the trapped mingling with an unholy laughter that echoed in my ears long after.
The official reports blamed faulty wiring and overcrowding, but I know better. The man in the dark coat—he wasn’t human. He was something ancient, something that revels in chaos and feeds on fear. Since that night, I’ve been plagued by dark dreams and even darker realities. Doors in my house creak open on their own, whispers drift through the night, and I see shadows moving just beyond my vision.
Every anniversary, the nightmares get worse, and I feel his presence more acutely. It’s as if the fire forged a bond between us, a bond I can’t break. I’ve tried to tell my story, but no one believes me. They think I’m just a traumatized survivor, driven mad by the horrors I witnessed.
But I know the truth. And now, so do you.
If you’re reading this, I’m begging, heed my warning. On the anniversary of the Cocoanut Grove fire, stay away from dark, crowded places. If you see a man in a dark coat with eyes like voids, don’t approach him. Run, and don’t look back.
Because once he marks you, there’s no escape. The flames will find you, and Hell will claim its due.
Tonight, as I write this, I can feel the heat building, the shadows lengthening. He’s close. I can hear his whisper just beyond the door. I don’t know if I’ll survive another anniversary, but if I don’t, remember my story.
Remember that some fires are more than just flames. They are gateways, and some doors should never be opened.

First time writing about my anxiety. So without going into too much detail I'd have had this disorder for three years now and it usually manifests itself in being convinced I have heart disease despite evidence to the contrary. Now straight to the fun part.
Popped into a Costco to grab an appetizer for a party I was going to attend last Saturday. On the way in, I could feel my anxiety start to creep up. Got in, saw there were massive lines to the cash registers, nearly reaching to the back of the store. Recently my disorder has given me the joy of freaking out in crowds when I'm alone. This has never, and I mean never been a problem for me. On the contrary, I'm more comfortable with groups of people then being alone. So nevertheless I grab the freaking appetizer, get in line and that's when it starts. This wave that starts in my stomach and spreads up my chest, giving me the feeling of angina, but its not. Still, my mind thinks "Heart attack!". My heart rate races, a tingling in my legs and feet starts to swamp me, I being to sweat. For ten hellish minutes I was debating myself on just bailing or riding this thing out. At one point my legs went numb and I thought I was going to just collapse in the line and make a fool of myself. Finally, I got to the self checkout, worked the scanner and keypad with my hands that were shaking so badly, I look like I just got out of a Betty Ford program. Never, has the air of a Costco parking lot smelt so refreshing and clean to me.
I got back to my place, and as terrifying as it was, I was legitimately triumphant that I got through it, that I had exposed myself to this in a very public setting. Naturally I cracked a few beers open in celebration. Alcohol use is one part of this nightmare that I'm dealing with, and while I've cut down significantly on my weekly intake, by God, does it give you relief in a crux. But then at that point your more or less on borrowed time until you sober up and it all comes rolling back at you tenfold.
I find exposure therapy, however bad of a medicine as it tastes, does help me recalbertate myself back to the man I formerly was. And like most experiences on this thread, it's' not been one big Neil Armstrong step forward and your good. I've had many half steps back since, but if you are in better shape the following week, however incrementally, the you've made some progress right? Gosh, just writing this right now gives me some discomfort. But getting it off my chest, might just help get it out of my chest.
Cheers.
​

Hey!
I've been single for 6 years and I've decided to do something about it! I've tried a couple of dating apps in the past and quite frankly they suck. I've posted on here a lot over the last few years and met some cool, and some not so cool, people so now here I am rewriting my post again to see who else is around!
I'm 26 and from South East England. Physically, I'm fat (cuddly 😛) I've got short brown hair, blue/greyish eyes, a nose, 2 arms, 2 legs, and all that usual stuff. I'm also 6'3 so if you fancy sitting on my shoulders and seeing what the weather's like up here then I'm definitely up for it! I'm pretty strong as well so even if you're "cuddly" I'll still most likely be able to get you up there 💪 I wouldn't say no to you doing the same for me either, but there's a 110% chance you'll be crushed if you try so I'll definitely have to make you sign a waiver or something 😛
Pictures are available on request, although if you're the type to ghost immediately after seeing my face then I will spend the evening sad in bed so don't do that 😒
Personality wise, I'm pretty shy and quiet in person until I get to know someone well. The MBTI test says I'm an INTJ and the description seems to fit fairly well, although it also says I have the same personality as Gandalf so I guess it could definitely be worse. Relationship wise I can be quite dorky and weird when I'm with someone I know well enough. I'm also a massive fan of cuddles so hopefully you like them as much as me!
In my free time, I do quite a lot of gaming, although not as much as I used to. I've got a massive box of films and TV shows that I'm gradually working my way through. It's mostly horror and sci-fi films at the moment, and I could definitely do with someone else to cuddle up and watch them with! I'm also into Warhammer 40k, but I haven't built or painted anything for ages so I've mostly got a cabinet full of grey plastic at the moment... I would like to do some travelling to tick things off my bucket list, but travelling alone is never as much fun as having someone to go with! I'm currently looking into a trip to Svalbard, but a lot of the activities have a minimum of two people so it'd be even less fun to travel there alone!
For other discussion topics, I've got a soft spot for anything paranormal or conspiracy theory related, anything science related, or pretty much anything else you can think of!
So who am I looking for? Well;

• Preferably someone in the UK (especially down in the South East), I can drive so basically anywhere in the country is fairly easy to get to.
• I don't mind if you're from abroad, but please speak good English, and preferably be from somewhere with not too big of a time zone difference, unless you're awake at odd hours of course!
• Physically I don't really have a "type". Anything from normal up to thicc with 5 c's is fine by me. I'm totally not bothered by height, even if somehow you're taller than me. I would say I have a thing for more "alt" types though so if that's you then you should definitely message! (Although you totally should even if you're not).
• Overall I'm just looking for someone kind, caring, and non-judgemental who actually wants to talk to and spend time with me as much as I want to talk to and spend time with them.

If you've made it this far and like the sound of me, congratulations! Come and message me for a free cookie!

Hey!
I've been single for 6 years and I've decided to do something about it! I've tried a couple of dating apps in the past and quite frankly they suck. I've posted on here a lot over the last few years and met some cool, and some not so cool, people so now here I am rewriting my post again to see who else is around!
I'm 26 and from South East England. Physically, I'm fat (cuddly 😛) I've got short brown hair, blue/greyish eyes, a nose, 2 arms, 2 legs, and all that usual stuff. I'm also 6'3 so if you fancy sitting on my shoulders and seeing what the weather's like up here then I'm definitely up for it! I'm pretty strong as well so even if you're "cuddly" I'll still most likely be able to get you up there 💪 I wouldn't say no to you doing the same for me either, but there's a 110% chance you'll be crushed if you try so I'll definitely have to make you sign a waiver or something 😛
Pictures are available on request, although if you're the type to ghost immediately after seeing my face then I will spend the evening sad in bed so don't do that 😒
Personality wise, I'm pretty shy and quiet in person until I get to know someone well. The MBTI test says I'm an INTJ and the description seems to fit fairly well, although it also says I have the same personality as Gandalf so I guess it could definitely be worse. Relationship wise I can be quite dorky and weird when I'm with someone I know well enough. I'm also a massive fan of cuddles so hopefully you like them as much as me!
In my free time, I do quite a lot of gaming, although not as much as I used to. I've got a massive box of films and TV shows that I'm gradually working my way through. It's mostly horror and sci-fi films at the moment, and I could definitely do with someone else to cuddle up and watch them with! I'm also into Warhammer 40k, but I haven't built or painted anything for ages so I've mostly got a cabinet full of grey plastic at the moment... I would like to do some travelling to tick things off my bucket list, but travelling alone is never as much fun as having someone to go with! I'm currently looking into a trip to Svalbard, but a lot of the activities have a minimum of two people so it'd be even less fun to travel there alone!
For other discussion topics, I've got a soft spot for anything paranormal or conspiracy theory related, anything science related, or pretty much anything else you can think of!
So who am I looking for? Well;

• Preferably someone in the UK (especially down in the South East), I can drive so basically anywhere in the country is fairly easy to get to.
• I don't mind if you're from abroad, but please speak good English, and preferably be from somewhere with not too big of a time zone difference, unless you're awake at odd hours of course!
• Physically I don't really have a "type". Anything from normal up to thicc with 5 c's is fine by me. I'm totally not bothered by height, even if somehow you're taller than me. I would say I have a thing for more "alt" types though so if that's you then you should definitely message! (Although you totally should even if you're not).
• Overall I'm just looking for someone kind, caring, and non-judgemental who actually wants to talk to and spend time with me as much as I want to talk to and spend time with them.

If you've made it this far and like the sound of me, congratulations! Come and message me for a free cookie!

Hey!
I've been single for 6 years and I've decided to do something about it! I've tried a couple of dating apps in the past and quite frankly they suck. I've posted on here a lot over the last few years and met some cool, and some not so cool, people so now here I am rewriting my post again to see who else is around!
I'm 26 and from South East England. Physically, I'm fat (cuddly 😛) I've got short brown hair, blue/greyish eyes, a nose, 2 arms, 2 legs, and all that usual stuff. I'm also 6'3 so if you fancy sitting on my shoulders and seeing what the weather's like up here then I'm definitely up for it! I'm pretty strong as well so even if you're "cuddly" I'll still most likely be able to get you up there 💪 I wouldn't say no to you doing the same for me either, but there's a 110% chance you'll be crushed if you try so I'll definitely have to make you sign a waiver or something 😛
Pictures are available on request, although if you're the type to ghost immediately after seeing my face then I will spend the evening sad in bed so don't do that 😒
Personality wise, I'm pretty shy and quiet in person until I get to know someone well. The MBTI test says I'm an INTJ and the description seems to fit fairly well, although it also says I have the same personality as Gandalf so I guess it could definitely be worse. Relationship wise I can be quite dorky and weird when I'm with someone I know well enough. I'm also a massive fan of cuddles so hopefully you like them as much as me!
In my free time, I do quite a lot of gaming, although not as much as I used to. I've got a massive box of films and TV shows that I'm gradually working my way through. It's mostly horror and sci-fi films at the moment, and I could definitely do with someone else to cuddle up and watch them with! I'm also into Warhammer 40k, but I haven't built or painted anything for ages so I've mostly got a cabinet full of grey plastic at the moment... I would like to do some travelling to tick things off my bucket list, but travelling alone is never as much fun as having someone to go with! I'm currently looking into a trip to Svalbard, but a lot of the activities have a minimum of two people so it'd be even less fun to travel there alone!
For other discussion topics, I've got a soft spot for anything paranormal or conspiracy theory related, anything science related, or pretty much anything else you can think of!
So who am I looking for? Well;

• Preferably someone in the UK (especially down in the South East), I can drive so basically anywhere in the country is fairly easy to get to.
• I don't mind if you're from abroad, but please speak good English, and preferably be from somewhere with not too big of a time zone difference, unless you're awake at odd hours of course!
• Physically I don't really have a "type". Anything from normal up to thicc with 5 c's is fine by me. I'm totally not bothered by height, even if somehow you're taller than me. I would say I have a thing for more "alt" types though so if that's you then you should definitely message! (Although you totally should even if you're not).
• Overall I'm just looking for someone kind, caring, and non-judgemental who actually wants to talk to and spend time with me as much as I want to talk to and spend time with them.

If you've made it this far and like the sound of me, congratulations! Come and message me for a free cookie!

My grandmother is turning 80 this year so I was thinking of signing her up for some pilates/fitness classes. Usually when I go to the gym to workout, I'll bring her along and teach her how to exercise (stretching, squats). But recently, I have gotten busier due to work/sch commitments and so I haven't been able to bring her to the gym. I saw a few posts recommending NTUC health for their fitness programmes so I'll check them out too. But I was wondering whether anyone could recommend any pilates classes suitable for elderly her age.
My budget is around $65 per class.
She is generally in good health and quite an active person for her age. She gets a bit lazy with working out her legs even though she promises that she has been doing the squats I have taught her to do. Her main issue is lower body strength, which is lacking.
Her arm strength is greater than mine so it isn't a big issue but she does experience (bearable) pain in her right arm so I'm not sure whether it would be a good idea to introduce dumbbells to her. We have brought her to many doctors, western and eastern alike, but they still can't find an exact cause why her right arm hurts at times (they attribute it to her old age).
She has lived a really tough life so I'm hoping that she will have fun and make new friends in her fitness classes. My parents are incredibly swamped at work so I was thinking of seeking professional help who could assist her in her fitness journey.
Thank you for your help!
Edit: She's a foreigner who has been living in Singapore for decades, so she is not eligible for any subsidies. She doesn't speak English and is fluent in Chinese, Malay and dialect languages.

Do I stay or cut my losses?
TL/DR - BF still talks to Ex Gf - BF still smokes w$&d - I want a baby and family which he said he wants to but he’s done nothing on his behalf to try and workout why we aren’t pregnant, 2 years later - I’ve had the blood work and psmr done and got the all clear from my dr and gynaecologist - Lies, Fights and lack of validation
I 34F have been with my bf 35M)for 5 years. Things were great until 3 years ago when I made it very clear that I wanted atleast 1 child by 35. He agreed and we both made promises to get better financially (savings and get rid of debts), work on ourselves - fitness and mental health, slow down and eventually stop partying and going to raves (within the year), and overall take steps towards building a family. He smokes weed daily and this was the biggest promise he made- to stop smoking w$&d. 2 years ago I had my IUD removed so we could get the ball rolling for trying for a baby. I had my blood tests done and p-sMear to make sure everything was in order and I got the all clear. After a year of trying, nothing has happened. He hasn’t stopped w$&d, but he tells me weekly that he will- at this time, it was because he was struggling mentally, which I said I understood and he should seek counselling, which he said he would. I also suggested he get a sprm count so we can try and eliminate all possibilities of why we’re not pregnant yet. He says every other month that he will quit w$&d and get the sprmcount done and hasn’t.
We are now 2 years into trying and still nothing has happened- the w$&d continues and he still hasn’t seen a counsellor or had a sprm count done and every time I bring it up, he says he now needs the w$&d for his epilepsy ( which he was diagnosed with a year ago). I reminded him that he really shouldn’t be on any dr!?gs at all, as per his Drs and his neurological professor as he has mental illness issues as well.
This has caused a huge friction in our relationship and many, many arguments have been had, because I’m feeling so resentful and angry that, every other week he promises to stop the w$&d and get a sprm count done and see a counsellor and he hasn’t.
On top of this, I asked him 3 years ago to stop speaking to his ex because she keeps asking him about their past and “do you ever think of what it would be like if we were still together?” And I told him this was disrespectful to me and our relationship. I just found out 4 weeks ago that he still talks to her, even though he never initiates the conversation, he doesn’t ignore it either and responds every time. ( I needed to find his bosses number after he went to a rave, had dr@gs and ended up having 3 full body seizures which he’s never had before, and ended up in hospital, and I saw the messages of him chatting to her the night before.) He swears up and down that THAT was an eye opener and he’s truly sorry and he’s blocked and deleted her and he wants to focus on me and our future. ( he’s also said this multiple times over 3 years and I found out time and time again it was a lie.)
Also come to find out, he got a number from a girl at the petrol station and she’s been venting to him about her relationship and he about ours. ( another conversation that isn’t anything sexual or otherwise, but the thought of him venting about our relationship to a complete stranger who felt comfortable to give her number and he didn’t tell me at all until a week later made me really upset as it all coincided with him still talking to his ex).
He has no idea why I’m so upset about this; the w$&d, the sprm count, the lack of sex in general, random girls number, his ex and when I express how much he’s hurting me, he takes the “ well find better. You deserve better than me” route and just hides away from me in the house ( we live together ).
We can never have a discussion about anything at all without him turning it into how he’s the victim and feeling attacked, and all I’m bringing forward is how he’s hurting me, complete with examples and screenshots and why it’s not ok. He’s in turn told me the following; “You’ve got mental health problems because you’re not right in the head and you’re abusive and your behaviour is abusive” “ get meds because you clearly need it! You can’t keep blaming everything on me! You’re a problem too!”
I stopped partying 3 years ago. I started going to the gym again to get fit and healthy I’m watching what I eat and being more mindful of my surroundings so I’m in a good place mentally I feel so defeated, 3 years on, that I’m resentful, I’m mad, I’m hurt, I’m on antidepressants and I’m seeing a psychologist and he still hasn’t done anything he promised he would.
It’s gotten to the point where my family hates our relationship, my best friend thinks he’s a joke and is wasting my time and taking me for granted and none of my friends want to be around me because of how he treats me ( “he’s very aggressive the way he speaks to you. Always making out like you’re dragging him around or nagging him or always on his case … he doesn’t have to come if he doesn’t want to…. It’s hard to hang out with you and watch him treat you the way he does”.)
Worst of all, he interfered with my work ( disconnected the internet and berated me and my work colleague heard it all) and my work has now listed me as “in a domestic abse” situation and I’ve been interviewed by HR. At the same time he started a new job and while he’s bragging about how wonderful his job is, he’s completely ignorant to how he’s ruined mine and my reputation.
I guess the answers are all in front of me on what to do: Do I bother trying to believe that maybe one day his “magical promises” might come true or cut my losses while I still can.
I still love him, and I still want the family we both dreamed of! It feels like I’m the only one invested and I pushing someone to change when his actions proved he was never going to.
Am I overthinking this? Am I hoping on a dream that will never happen? Am I fooling myself? Do I need to change?

Do I stay or cut my losses?
TL/DR - BF still talks to Ex Gf - BF still smokes w$&d - I want a baby and family which he said he wants to but he’s done nothing on his behalf to try and workout why we aren’t pregnant, 2 years later - I’ve had the blood work and psmr done and got the all clear from my dr and gynaecologist - Lies, Fights and lack of validation
I 34F have been with my bf 35M)for 5 years. Things were great until 3 years ago when I made it very clear that I wanted atleast 1 child by 35. He agreed and we both made promises to get better financially (savings and get rid of debts), work on ourselves - fitness and mental health, slow down and eventually stop partying and going to raves (within the year), and overall take steps towards building a family. He smokes weed daily and this was the biggest promise he made- to stop smoking w$&d. 2 years ago I had my IUD removed so we could get the ball rolling for trying for a baby. I had my blood tests done and p-sMear to make sure everything was in order and I got the all clear. After a year of trying, nothing has happened. He hasn’t stopped w$&d, but he tells me weekly that he will- at this time, it was because he was struggling mentally, which I said I understood and he should seek counselling, which he said he would. I also suggested he get a sprm count so we can try and eliminate all possibilities of why we’re not pregnant yet. He says every other month that he will quit w$&d and get the sprmcount done and hasn’t.
We are now 2 years into trying and still nothing has happened- the w$&d continues and he still hasn’t seen a counsellor or had a sprm count done and every time I bring it up, he says he now needs the w$&d for his epilepsy ( which he was diagnosed with a year ago). I reminded him that he really shouldn’t be on any dr!?gs at all, as per his Drs and his neurological professor as he has mental illness issues as well.
This has caused a huge friction in our relationship and many, many arguments have been had, because I’m feeling so resentful and angry that, every other week he promises to stop the w$&d and get a sprm count done and see a counsellor and he hasn’t.
On top of this, I asked him 3 years ago to stop speaking to his ex because she keeps asking him about their past and “do you ever think of what it would be like if we were still together?” And I told him this was disrespectful to me and our relationship. I just found out 4 weeks ago that he still talks to her, even though he never initiates the conversation, he doesn’t ignore it either and responds every time. ( I needed to find his bosses number after he went to a rave, had dr@gs and ended up having 3 full body seizures which he’s never had before, and ended up in hospital, and I saw the messages of him chatting to her the night before.) He swears up and down that THAT was an eye opener and he’s truly sorry and he’s blocked and deleted her and he wants to focus on me and our future. ( he’s also said this multiple times over 3 years and I found out time and time again it was a lie.)
Also come to find out, he got a number from a girl at the petrol station and she’s been venting to him about her relationship and he about ours. ( another conversation that isn’t anything sexual or otherwise, but the thought of him venting about our relationship to a complete stranger who felt comfortable to give her number and he didn’t tell me at all until a week later made me really upset as it all coincided with him still talking to his ex).
He has no idea why I’m so upset about this; the w$&d, the sprm count, the lack of sex in general, random girls number, his ex and when I express how much he’s hurting me, he takes the “ well find better. You deserve better than me” route and just hides away from me in the house ( we live together ).
We can never have a discussion about anything at all without him turning it into how he’s the victim and feeling attacked, and all I’m bringing forward is how he’s hurting me, complete with examples and screenshots and why it’s not ok. He’s in turn told me the following; “You’ve got mental health problems because you’re not right in the head and you’re abusive and your behaviour is abusive” “ get meds because you clearly need it! You can’t keep blaming everything on me! You’re a problem too!”
I stopped partying 3 years ago. I started going to the gym again to get fit and healthy I’m watching what I eat and being more mindful of my surroundings so I’m in a good place mentally I feel so defeated, 3 years on, that I’m resentful, I’m mad, I’m hurt, I’m on antidepressants and I’m seeing a psychologist and he still hasn’t done anything he promised he would.
It’s gotten to the point where my family hates our relationship, my best friend thinks he’s a joke and is wasting my time and taking me for granted and none of my friends want to be around me because of how he treats me ( “he’s very aggressive the way he speaks to you. Always making out like you’re dragging him around or nagging him or always on his case … he doesn’t have to come if he doesn’t want to…. It’s hard to hang out with you and watch him treat you the way he does”.)
Worst of all, he interfered with my work ( disconnected the internet and berated me and my work colleague heard it all) and my work has now listed me as “in a domestic abse” situation and I’ve been interviewed by HR. At the same time he started a new job and while he’s bragging about how wonderful his job is, he’s completely ignorant to how he’s ruined mine and my reputation.
I guess the answers are all in front of me on what to do: Do I bother trying to believe that maybe one day his “magical promises” might come true or cut my losses while I still can.
I still love him, and I still want the family we both dreamed of! It feels like I’m the only one invested and I pushing someone to change when his actions proved he was never going to.
Am I overthinking this? Am I hoping on a dream that will never happen? Am I fooling myself? Do I need to change?

How serious is the delinquency problem here in GC? Got quite culture shocked to see minors cussing us out in the Tram for no reason. Also seen minors smoking inside the trams.

I am grateful to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva for offering me this precious opportunity to share my experience of practising Buddhism with you.
I am 62 years old. Today, I can eat, sleep and walk like a normal person. However, did you know that I once was a paralyzed woman who could not even get up from bed, had difficulty turning over, and could not take care of myself? Through practising Buddhism and reciting Buddhist scriptures, I have completely freed myself from the misery of hell. I want to tell you with hard facts that practising Buddhism and reciting the scriptures has not only given me a second life, but has also benefited me immensely. I want to share with you how I transformed myself from paralysis to health within four years without undergoing any surgery! May my presentation plant the seeds of bodhi in your hearts, so that more people will have faith in Guan Yin Bodhisattva who has boundless supernatural power, and recite Buddhist scriptures as soon as possible to be free from suffering and gain happiness!
1. When I was young, I opened two bars so I created bad karma, and karmic retribution is right on my heels!
I am the eldest daughter of my family and the eldest daughter-in-law of my in-laws family. Both my mother and mother-in-law are Buddhist practitioners and urged me to practise Buddhism as well. However, because of my youthful ambition and good fortune, at the age of about 36, I ran two bars and enjoyed the pleasure of earning money, not bothering to practise Buddhism at all. By then, I was young and foolish, in the bars I gained filthy money by means of woman’s charms, which invariably created a lot of bad karma. How many people lost their morals and conscience for my sake of monetary gain? How many families have been broken up behind the scenes? How many people have done many things against ethics and morality under the paralysis of alcohol? I hereby express my deepest repentance to Guan Yin Bodhisattva! Karmic retribution is inescapable. I planted the evil cause so I reap the evil effect. The bad karma I created within two years of running the bars has brought me a tragic retribution 13 years later! (So, dear fellow practitioners, please take this as a warning!)
In 2010, I was 49, my predestined 369 calamity arrived. One day in July, my karma exploded. I suddenly collapsed at home kitchen while stirring frying vegetables. In an instant, I felt that the sky was falling, and I had nowhere to turn for help. An otherwise healthy me entered a life of hell on earth from then on. Every day, I ate, drank, pooped and peed in bed, had difficulty turning over, couldn't wash my hands and face, had trouble swallowing, so it was worse than death. I was paralyzed in bed from then on. The doctor said I had a herniated disc in my lower back. All the bones in my back were misaligned. Both knee bones were necrotic and so swollen. I have visited all the local city and provincial hospitals, big and small, to seek medical care. I almost spent all the several hundreds of thousands of RMB I had gained from my bar business. However, the condition got worse and worse.
2. Since encountering the excellent Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door, I have been practicing Buddhism hard to overcome any obstacles on the way and finally achieved a new life.
Perhaps it was the blessing from my family members who had been making offerings to the Buddha and practising Buddhism for years. Thanks to the mercy of Guan Yin Bodhisattva, I finally encountered the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door in 2012 when I was in the most desperate situation in my life. The person next door to my bar heard that I was sick and came to see me. She brought me Buddhist scripture, recitation device, Buddhism in Plain Terms, counters and many other Dharma gems. She told me the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door was very efficacious, and asked me to try it. Although I could not move on bed, I listened all Master Lu's recordings like a thirst. I was pleasantly surprised to hear cases of patients who had been cured of cancer and serious illnesses by practising Buddhism and reciting the scriptures. The recordings of Master Lu's programs were like a bright beacon in the darkness, bringing me hope for life and giving me great encouragement. I felt I was awakened by a powerful energy, stirring up my strong desire to live. I told myself: I must survive; I must save myself! I started to practice Buddhism and recite scriptures as if I had grabbed a lifeline.
I am illiterate, so I had to lie in bed every day and learn to recite word by word with the recitation device. Due to the heavy karma, there was no virtuous and the high-minded practitioner around to teach me how to burn the Little Houses in a rational and lawful way. I foolishly took an ashtray instead of a plate to burn the Little Houses, which resulted in the ashtray blowing up. In order to eliminate karma quickly, I was foolishly reciting the Heart Sutra and Amitabha Pure Land Rebirth Mantra after ten o'clock at night, which resulted in the light bulbs breaking several times (Here, I sincerely remind my fellow practitioners: Master Lu enlightened us not to recite the Heart Sutra and Amitabha Pure Land Rebirth Mantra after ten o'clock at night. Please make sure to read the Introduction to Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door carefully in order to avoid practising Buddhism irrationally). Therefore, we must follow the instructions of Master Lu, and never do what the Master does not allow us to do. The whole process of reciting Buddhist scriptures to eliminate karma is very bumpy. It is really easy to create karma, but very hard to eliminate it! However, I firmly believed that the Bodhisattva is infinitely powerful. As long as I diligently practised Buddhism, my fate would definitely get changed. Hence, I relied on the blissful cases in Master Lu's recordings as my spiritual support. I kept persevering, not afraid of any difficulties, and recklessly recited Buddhist scriptures.
Since I ate, drank and pooped in bed, my aura was very bad. As I could not get up by myself, so I had to lie in bed to recite the sacred Buddhist scriptures. I felt guilty and torn, wondering if this was the appropriate way to recite the sacred Buddhist scriptures. Will it affect the effect of the recitation? Gratitude to Guan Yin Bodhisattva for Her compassion, and I dreamed of Master Lu that night. Master Lu who was dressed in a black suit smiled at me and kindly comforted me: “don't worry.” After I woke up, I was very grateful for Master Lu's compassion. Master Lu knew about my special situation, so this is a sympathy and a condolence to me. After I recited Buddhist scriptures 4 to 5 months late, my neck and head were able to turn significantly. Such a Dharma blissful change thrilled me. All the trials and perseverance I had gone through in the past had not been in vain. Guan Yin Bodhisattva has boundless supernatural power, which had given me a glimmer of hope for recovery! (Here, I sincerely remind my fellow practitioners: In the absence of illness, recitation of Buddhist scriptures must be respectful. A point of respect harvests a point of benefit.)
3. The unique characteristics of attending the Dharma conference and formally acknowledging Jun Hong Lu as my master allow my physical health to improve with Dharma joy
In February 2017, I befriended a fellow practitioner. She invited me to attend the Macau Dharma Convention together. I thought to myself: “can I take the bus by myself?” “Can I attend the conference?” With a strong faith from my inner heart, I attended the conference via keeping reciting the Great Compassion Mantra on the trip. Unbelievably, I arrived at the conference as I wished with the blessing and protection of Guan Yin Bodhisattva, although my bulky legs could only barely support my body in the seat. I was in tears when I listened Master Lu's wise words and saw the holy icon of Guan Yin Bodhisattva. On the night of the conference, I dreamed of Guan Yin Bodhisattva! Gratitude to Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva for saving me from suffering and giving me a new life. At the end of the Macau Dharma Convention, I instantly made two vows: to be a vegetarian for 15 days per month and liberate 10,000 fish.
Before I attended the Macau Dharma Convention, I had to take a break whenever I walked two steps, and my body was not able to move much. After returning, my legs started to become strong enough to support my body and I could walk on flat ground. Despite they were not very flexible, they were no longer the same as when I was paralyzed like a limp in bed. My whole body is getting better and better in essence, vital energy, and spirit. I was very surprised! Master Lu has enlightened that there are many Buddhas and Bodhisattvas coming to bless attendees at each Dharma conference!
In August 2017, before the Dharma Convention in Malaysia, my fellow practitioners urged me to formally acknowledge Jun Hong Lu as my master. Since I am an illiterate, compassionate fellow practitioners helped me to fill out the application form of seeking discipleship. My fellow practitioners told me that there were so many people wanted to formally acknowledge Jun Hong Lu as their master that I might not be able to reach my wish this time. Then, I had to wait for the opportunity next Dharma Convention. I told myself that whether I could reach my wish or not this time, I would actively participate in Master Lu’s Dharma Convention. Considering my age, it is a blessing for me to attend one more Dharma Convention. To my surprise, one week later, my application for seeking discipleship was approved. Gratitude to Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva!
On the day of seeking discipleship, I was very excited. During the process of seeking discipleship, I heard a voice in stereo that was very loud. When I opened my eyes, I was surprised to see Tathagata Buddha, and many other Bodhisattvas coming down from heaven. At that moment, I saw that the upper half of Master Lu's Dharmakaya appeared transparent with a huge lotus flower. I was suddenly moved to tears. I was oblivious to the fact that Master Lu had come to my side until the time of issuing the discipleship certificate. Master Lu was very compassionate and empowered me with blessing. Master Lu enlightened, "Because five people opened their eyes during the worship ceremony, they have no lotuses planted in the pure land. But it's okay, when the ceremony is over, you can go to the front and kowtow to ask the Bodhisattva (to plant a lotus)." I then rushed to the front to worship. Before I finished worshiping Bodhisattva, a young fellow practitioner came over. He asked, "How do you feel? Did you see anything?" I said, "I saw Tathagata Buddha." He asked, "How are you sure that was Tathagata Buddha?" I said, "Both my mother and mother-in-law are Buddhist disciples, and Tathagata Buddha has curly hair."
I was grateful for the compassionate blessing from Guan Yin Bodhisattva and Master Lu. When I returned home after seeking discipleship, I made two vows: to be a vegetarian for the rest of my life and never kill (animals). The power of a vow outweighs the force of karma. After I made the vows, Master Lu’s Dharmakaya came to help me heal my legs in my dreams. Once, I saw Master Lu’s Dharmakaya passing by my room while I was half-squinted. Master Lu asked me, "Which foot is uncomfortable? Where is aching?" Instantly I woke up and then I found that my feet didn't feel as heavy as they used to be and I walked more lightly. I excitedly shared the news with my old father, "Master Lu has come to bless me again!" I am grateful to Master Lu for his compassionate care for every sentient being. Every time I dreamed of Master Lu, he would always compassionately endow me with abundance of blessing, and I was always surprised by the improvement in my health.
In a short time, I could not only separate my feet and take turns to walk up and down the stairs independently. Moreover, I could bend back and forth freely with my arms crossed. The bones in my back, which were all misaligned and uneven, were now completely normal again. Previously, I couldn't raise my hands to wash my face, brush my teeth or comb my hair because the bones in my back would pull the nerves and cause severe pain when I raised my hands. In those days, whenever I sneezed or defecated, I felt like to cheat death on pain. In those hellish day I went through unimaginable pain and suffering. Now, however, I can take care of myself completely and move around freely. Sometimes I get a little tired after walking for too long, but I can recover after 10 minutes of rest in bed. Although it is still slightly bumpy while I was walking, if you don't look closely, you can't see it. My family was overwhelmed to see the dramatic change from being paralyzed and bedridden to walking independently since I practised Buddhism. My old father, who was taking care of me at the bedside, complimented me straight away: you have completely changed, becoming healthier and healthier now! I was so excited that I had tears in my eyes. Without the rescue of Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva and Master Lu, I really wouldn't have the blissful transformation I have today!
In 2019, at the Dharma conferences of Indonesia and Singapore, I pleaded with my fellow practitioners to be merciful to give me the opportunity to volunteer. According to the rules of the Dharma conference, I was already overage. However, I was adamant that I must do volunteer work. Guan Yin Bodhisattva has given me a second life, so I have to serve all sentient beings physically. I am grateful for Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva who helped me out. When I came back from the conferences, I found that I could bend and squat easily and freely, and I had no problem even sitting on the floor. I am grateful to Guan Yin Bodhisattva for compassionately helping me to eliminate my karma at every conference, so that I can obtain incredible blessings and improvement occur every time.
4. The incredible blessing of setting up the Buddhist altar accelerated my health recovery and created a medical miracle.
From the time I set up the Buddhist altar in 2017, I insisted on offering Bodhisattvas incenses morning and evening every day. At first, the body was still straight and could not bend and bow. For two years, in front of the Buddhist altar, I prayed for Bodhisattvas to bless me so that I could recover my health a little better so I can use my own experience as an example to convince sentient beings to gain faith on Dharma and practise Dharma. Gradually, I was able to stand to offer incense to Bodhisattvas, to bend and bow, and finally to kneel in front of the Buddhist altar to recite the scriptures. I was full of Dharma joy! Initially, my back still hurt from kneeling. With the karmic obstacles being removed, my back didn't hurt anymore. Sometimes when I went out with fellow practitioners to set up the Buddhist altar, particularly on the Buddha's Birthday, I could kneel to recite the Eighty-eight Buddhas Great Repentance for an hour and a half. My fellow practitioners couldn't keep it up, so I was the only one who kept it up until the end. I am so grateful to Guan Yin Bodhisattva for Her compassionate blessing!
At one time, the doctor at the provincial hospital told me that I had to have surgery to put two steel plates into the bone, but I refused. Because I firmly believe that with the of blessings of Guan Yin Bodhisattva and Master Lu, I am afraid of nothing. Buddha is an extraordinary doctor. The only way to recover completely is to repent sincerely and practise Buddhism. I can now move as freely as a normal person. This medical miracle achieved was completely relied on practising Buddhism, reciting scriptures, being a vegetarian, helping new practitioners to set up Buddhist altars, volunteering at Dharma conferences, and actively propagating the Dharma. To improve my family economic financial, I went out to work on construction sites as a helper, do cleaning and housekeeping!
Those patients who were once slightly paralyzed did not recover as quickly and well as I did, even with surgery.
Dear readers, when you see such a dramatic change in me, what are you hesitating for? Hurry up and pick up the Buddhist scriptures to recite! I am the living example, the ironclad evidence. Guan Yin Bodhisattva does exist, and She is Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate, answers any prayers.
Thinking of the bad karma I created in the two bars when I was young, I feel grievously sinful. I have earned ill-gotten wealth, but the karma was produced, and karmic retribution is inescapable. If one hasn't been retributed, the time hasn't come yet. After I got old, all the retribution came to me. Not only did I use up all my money, but I also had to suffer from physical illness and paralysis. I advise everyone to remember Master Lu's enlightenment: Do not do anything that is evil; Do not fail to do good no matter how petty the deed; Do not engage in evil no matter how trivial the deed. Dear readers, please consider it carefully before earning any money, and don’t commit such deep sins as I did for the sake of monetary gain, or else the consequences will follow you!
Without the merciful salvation and blessings of Guan Yin Bodhisattva and Master Lu, I would not have been reborn today! I made a few great wows: honour the teacher and respect his teachings, live an ascetic life for lifetime, be a vegetarian lifetime, not kill, not eat eggs, not smoke, not drink; transcend the cycle of rebirth for good and attain enlightenment in one lifetime. In this life, I will follow Guan Yin Bodhisattva to cultivate my mind and change my behaviour and never quit. I will follow my benefactor, the Compassionate father, Master Lu, to propagate Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door and never stop! Although I am over 60 years, I will continue using my own experience as an example to convince sentient beings to gain faith on Dharma and practise Buddhism. Together with my fellow practitioners, I will get up early and go home late to help set up Buddha altars for new practitioners. No matter how far and how difficult the trip is, I will always be strict with myself. I will go wherever I am needed. Even if I am eating, as soon as I receive a mission for propagating Dharma, I will put down my chopsticks and set off without delay.
Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door is peerlessly efficacious, and Guan Yin Bodhisattva is Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate, saves beings from suffering, has supernatural power, and answer all prayers. As long as we have a devout heart and we persist in reciting Buddhist scriptures and practicing Buddhism, no difficulty can defeat us! My physical changes are the most powerful evidence! May my true presentation give some inspiration to those people who are still suffering from illnesses, so that they can acquire faith to practising Buddhism, and pick up the Buddhist scriptures to recite. May more sentient beings having affinity with Buddha break free from delusion and attain enlightenment, balance egoism and altruism, and free from suffering and gain happiness.
My deepest gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva!
My deepest gratitude to all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas from ten directions and three periods of time!
My deepest gratitude to the Dharma protectors!
My deepest gratitude to the selfless and altruistic Master Jun Hong Lu!
If there is anything that is not rational or in line with the truth in the presentation, I’d like to seek forgiveness from the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, Dharma protectors, and Master Jun Hong Lu.
I’d also like to seek forgiveness from my fellow Buddhist practitioners.
I, not my fellow practitioners, will be responsible for my own karma!
Shared by: Dharma Practitioner Ganen, Gratitude and Namaste!
Translated by: Frank
Statement by Translator

1. Story was translated from Chinese into English by meaning, not word by word. If there is anything that is not rational or in line with the true meaning of the Chinese version, I’d like to seek forgiveness from the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, Dharma protectors and Master Jun Hong Lu.
   
2. Author Ganen was interviewed by Frank during the translation for the detailed information.
   

Propagation
It would be greatly appreciated if you would forward this presentation to all sentient beings you know, sick or healthy. You will accumulate immeasurable merits and virtues. Saving a life is more meritorious than building a seven-floor pagoda!
Would you like to change your destiny?
We will show you how to do the Five Golden Buddhist Practices of Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door: (1) making vows, (2) reciting Buddhist scriptures (sutras and mantras), (3) performing life liberation, (4) reading Buddhism in Plain Terms, and (5) repenting. You will personally witness how you and your family can achieve physical and mental stability, relief from illness and grievances, wisdom growth, academic progress, career advancement, and family happiness through Dharma. It’s free of charge.
Contact
Buddhist practitioner: Lily
Email: [sunnypurplelily@gmail.com](mailto:sunnypurplelily@gmail.com)
WeChat: HanJing20210820
原文如下:
从瘫痪卧床到行走自如做家政，心灵法门创造了医学奇迹
感恩南无大慈大悲救苦救难广大灵感观世音菩萨摩诃萨！
感恩十方三世一切诸佛菩萨！
感恩龙天护法金刚菩萨！
感恩恩师慈父卢军宏台长！
感恩师兄们！
感恩大慈大悲观世音菩萨慈悲，让我能有这个宝贵的机会与大家分享我的学佛经历。我今年62岁，现在是一个能吃、能睡、能走路的正常人了。但是，你们可曾知道，曾经，我是一个连床都起不了、翻身都困难，生活完全无法自理的瘫痪老人！如今，通过学佛念经，我把自己从地狱的苦海里完全挣脱了出来。我要用铁一般的事实告诉大家：学佛念经不仅给了我第二次生命，更让我受益无穷。我要跟大家分享，在这患病的四年里，在没有经历任何手术的情况下，如何让自己从瘫痪到健康的蜕变！愿我今天的分享给有缘人种下菩提种子，让更多的人相信观世音菩萨法力无边，早日学佛念经，离苦得乐！
1. 年轻时开酒吧造恶业，得现世报！
我是家中的长女、婆家的长媳。母亲和婆婆都是学佛人，都劝我也学佛。但是，由于年轻时好胜心强，加之财运不错，36岁左右，我经营两家酒吧，享受挣钱的快乐，根本无心学佛。年轻愚痴的我经营酒吧时靠女色来赚取黑钱，赚的都是不正之财，无形中造了很多恶业。在这种灯红酒绿中生活，我为了金钱利益，让多少人丧失了自己的道德与良知？背后又造成多少个家庭的破裂？又有多少人在酒精的麻痹下做出多少违背伦理道德的事情？弟子在此向观世音菩萨深深忏悔！因果报应丝毫不爽，种恶因得恶果。开酒吧这两年中我所造下的恶业，在十几年后让我得到悲惨的现世报！所以，请大家引以为戒！
2010年我49岁，正逢“三六九”关劫。7月的一天，我的业障大爆发，在家炒菜时突然间倒下。瞬间，我感觉天塌下来，叫天天不应，叫地地不灵。一个原本健康的我从此进入人间地狱般的生活。每天，我吃喝拉撒都在床上，翻身都很困难，没法自己洗手洗脸，吞咽困难，简直生不如死。我从此瘫痪在床。医生说我是腰椎间盘突出。后背的所有骨头都错位。两个膝盖骨头坏死，肿得很大。当地市里、省里大大小小的医院我都看过了。我几乎把我做酒吧生意所赚到的几十万块钱都花光了。然而，病情越来越严重。
2. 得遇殊胜法门，坎坷学佛路中坚持不懈地修行换来重生
也许是家人一直供佛学佛的福德。承蒙观世音菩萨慈悲，在我人生绝境之时，我终于在2012年得遇心灵法门。以前我开店隔壁的人听说我病倒了，就来看我。她给我送来了经书、念佛机、《白话佛法》、计数器等很多法宝。她告诉我心灵法门很灵验，让我试试。我躺在床上虽然无法动弹，却如饥似渴地把师父的录音听了个遍。听到人们通过学佛念经把癌症、重症都治愈的案例，我惊喜万分。师父的节目录音就像黑暗中的一盏明灯，让我看到了生活的希望，给了我很大的鼓舞。在这个过程中我像被一股强大的能量加持唤醒，激起了求生的强烈欲望。我告诉自己：我一定要活过来；我一定要自己救自己！我像抓住了救命稻草似地开始拼命学佛念经。
我不识字，只能每天躺在床上跟着念佛机一字一句地学着念。由于业力牵引，身边没有遇到善知识教我如理如法地烧送小房子。愚痴的我曾拿个烟灰缸代替盘子烧送经文组合小房子，结果烟灰缸炸掉了。为了抓紧时间消业，我晚上十点后还在念《心经》和《往生咒》，结果家里的灯坏了好几次（趁此机会我诚心提醒师兄们：师父开示，晚上十点后不要念诵《心经》和《往生咒》，请师兄们一定要好好看《心灵法门入门手册》，避免操作不如理不如法）。所以，我们一定要听师父的话，师父不让做的就不做。念经消业的整个过程非常坎坷。真是造业容易，消业难啊！但是，我坚信菩萨法力无边，只要精进努力，一定会得到改变的。于是，我依靠师父录音中的法喜案例作为精神支撑。我一直坚持不懈，不怕万难，拼命念经。
由于吃喝拉撒都在床上，气场非常不好，自己又无法起身，只能躺在床上念经。我内心愧疚又纠结，不知道这样念经是否如理如法？会不会影响念经效果？感恩菩萨慈悲，当晚我就梦见师父了。师父身穿着黑西装，一边慈祥地笑着一边安慰我：不要担心。醒来后，我非常感恩师父的慈悲。师父知道我的特殊情况，这是对我的宽容和安慰啊。后来，大概念经差不多4～5个月后，我的脖子和头也能明显地转动了。这样法喜的变化，让我激动万分。我过去所经历的磨难与坚持都没有白费。观世音菩萨法力无边，让我看到了康复的一丝希望！（作者提醒：师兄们，在没有病痛的情况下，念经一定要体态恭敬，一分恭敬一分受益。）
3. 参加法会与拜师的殊胜，让我的身体不断法喜蜕变
2017年2月份，我结识了一位师兄。她邀请我一起去参加澳门法会。我心想：我能自己坐车吗？能去法会吗？凭着内心坚定的信念，路途中我一直念《大悲咒》。虽然我笨重的双腿只能勉强支撑着身体坐在座位上，但在观世音菩萨一路加持护佑下，我竟然能够如愿到了法会现场。现场听到师父开示、看到观世音菩萨的圣像，我泪如雨下。大法会当天晚上，我就梦到了观世音菩萨！感恩大慈大悲救苦救难观世音菩萨救我于苦海，给了我新的生命和生活。澳门法会结束，我当即发愿：一个月吃素15天，放生一万条鱼。参加澳门法会前，只要走两步路我就要歇一歇，而且我的身体没办法大幅度活动。
澳门法会回来后，我的双腿开始变得有力，可以支撑起身子在平地上走路了。虽然还不是很灵活，但是比起原来像软泥一样瘫痪在床的状态，已经不可同年而语了。我整个人精、气、神也越来越好。我非常惊喜！师父开示过，每场法会有很多佛菩萨来加持大家！
2017年8月，马来西亚法会前，师兄们让我拜师，但我不识字。慈悲的师兄们帮助我代笔填写拜师申请表。师兄们告诉我，这次拜师的人太多，有可能排不上队，得等到下一场法会才有机会。我告诉自己，无论这次能不能拜师，我都一定积极参加师父的法会。我这么大年纪了，能参加多一场法会都是我的福报啊。让我惊喜的是，一个星期后，我的拜师申请通过了。感恩观世音菩萨慈悲！
拜师当天，我激动万分。在拜师过程中，我听到一个非常立体、非常响亮的声音。我睁开眼睛时，我竟然看到了如来佛祖，还有好多菩萨都从天上下来了。这时，我看到师父上半身的法身呈现透明状，有一朵大大的莲花。我顿时感动得泪如雨下。直到颁发弟子证的时候，我浑然不觉师父已经走到我的身边。师父非常慈悲，给我灌顶加持。师父说:“因为拜师过程中有5个人睁开了眼睛，所以莲花没有种上去。不过没关系，等拜师仪式结束后，可以到前面去磕头求菩萨。”我就赶紧跑到前面去拜。我还没拜完，就过来了一个年轻师兄。他问我：“您感觉怎么样？有没有看到什么？” 我告诉他：“我看到如来佛祖了。” 他说：“您怎么确定那是如来佛祖呢？”我说：”我家母和家婆是学佛人，如来佛祖头发卷卷的。”
感恩观世音菩萨与师父的慈悲加持。拜师结束回家我就发愿: 终生吃全素，不杀生。真是愿力大于业力，发愿后，师父又来梦里帮我治疗双腿。有一次，我半眯着眼睛看到师父从我的房间经过。师父问我：“还有哪只脚不舒服？还有哪个地方疼痛的？” 瞬间我就醒了，醒来我发现我的双脚没有了原来的沉重感，走起路来更加轻盈了。我激动地跟老父亲分享：“师父又来加持我啦！”感恩师父慈悲关怀着每一位众生。每次梦见师父，师父都慈悲给予加持，我的身体总会有惊喜的好转。
没过多久，我不仅可以分开双脚，轮流迈开步伐独立上下楼梯。而且，我双手叉腰，可以前后自如地弯腰。后背的骨头原本因为全部错位并高低不平，如今完全恢复正常了。原本我没办法把手举起来洗脸、刷牙和梳头，因为手一抬，后背的骨头扯神经会导致剧烈的疼痛。每次打喷嚏或排泄的时候，都有种痛不欲生的感觉，就像死里逃生一样。这种地狱般的日子让我历经常人难以想象的苦痛折磨。然而现在，我的生活可以完全自理并且行动自如。有时候走太久会有一点点累，但是卧床休息十几分钟就可以恢复过来。虽然走路还有一点点高低现象，但如果不仔细看，是看不出来的。看到我学佛念经以来，从瘫痪卧床到独立行走的巨大变化，我的家人无比震惊。当年在床头边照顾我的老父亲直夸我：现在整个人完全变了，变得越来越健康了！我激动得泪眼婆娑。没有观世音菩萨与师父的大慈大悲救苦救难，真的不会有我今天的法喜蜕变！
2019年印尼法会和新加坡法会上，我恳请师兄们慈悲给我做义工的机会。按照法会规定，我已经超龄了。但是，我坚决一定要做义工。观世音菩萨给了我第二次生命，我就要身体力行地为众生服务。感恩观世音菩萨的慈悲，让我能如愿以偿。从法会做完义工回来，我发现我可以轻松自如地弯腰和下蹲，就连坐在地板上也没有问题了。感恩菩萨每次法会上都慈悲帮我消业，让我每次都能有不可思议的加持，变化。
4. 设佛台的不可思议加持，加速我身体恢复健康，创造医学奇迹
从2017年设佛台起，我每天坚持上早晚香。起初，身体还是直直的，不能弯腰鞠躬。两年里，我每天在佛台前上香求菩萨加持，让我身体能恢复得更好一些，能为众生表法。慢慢地，我从站着上香到弯腰鞠躬，到最后可以跪在佛台前念经。真是法喜充满啊！刚开始跪着后背还是很痛。随着业障的消除，我的后背也不疼痛了。有时候和师兄们出去设佛台，遇到佛诞日，我跪着念诵《礼佛大忏悔文》足足有一个半小时的时间。许多师兄都坚持不下来，唯独我坚持到结束。真是感恩菩萨慈悲加持！
曾经，省医院的医生告诉我，必须做手术把两块钢板放进骨头里，但我回绝了。因为我坚信有观世音菩萨和师父两座靠山，我什么都不怕。在因果面前，佛是大药王。唯有诚心忏悔，学佛修行才能彻底康复。我完全靠学佛念经吃素、设佛台、参加法会做义工，积极弘法度人，才创造了医学奇迹：现在和正常人一样行动自如。我甚至去工地做小工，搞卫生、做家政弥补家用！那些曾经轻微瘫痪的患者就算做手术，也没有我恢复得快，恢复到如此好的状态。
读者朋友们，你们看到我如此天翻地覆的变化，还犹豫什么呢？赶快捧起经书念经吧！我就是活生生的例子，铁一般的证据。观世音菩萨真实存在，并且大慈大悲有求必应啊！
现在回想起年轻时开酒吧所造下的恶业，真是罪孽深重。不正之财赚到了，可是，因果报应丝毫不爽，不是不报，时候未到。在我人到老年时，所有的报应一涌而来。不但钱财全部用尽，还要遭受肉体病痛的瘫痪之苦，因果不空啊！奉劝大家一定要谨记师父的教诲：诸恶莫作，众善奉行！不以善小而不为；不以恶小而为之！挣任何钱财之前都要三思，切记不可为了金钱利益而像我一样造下如此深重的罪孽，否则果报如影随形！
没有观世音菩萨和师父的慈悲救度与加持，就没有我今天的重生！弟子许愿尊师重道、一生清修、终生吃全素、不杀生、不吃鸡蛋、不抽烟、不喝酒；一世修成，永断轮回。今生跟着观世音菩萨修心修行，永不退转。跟着恩师慈父卢军宏台长弘扬心灵法门永不停息！我虽然60多岁了，但是我要身体力行地为大家表法，起早贪黑地和共修组师兄们一起去助缘设佛台。无论路程多么遥远，多么艰辛，我都严格要求自己。哪里需要我，我就走到哪里。哪怕我在吃饭，只要接到弘法任务，我一定当即放下筷子，一刻也不能耽误地出发。
心灵法门灵验无比，观世音菩萨大慈大悲，救苦救难，法力无边，有求必应。只要我们有一颗虔诚的心，只要我们坚持念经修行，没有什么困难可以打倒我们！我的身体变化就是最有力的证据！愿我的真实分享给那些还在受着病痛折磨的人们一些启发，让大家生起学佛念经的信念，捧起经书念经，愿更多的有缘众生能够早日破迷开悟，自利利他，离苦得乐！
我的分享结束了，分享中如有不如理不如法的地方，请观世音菩萨慈悲原谅！请十方三世一切诸佛菩萨和龙天护法菩萨慈悲原谅！请师父慈悲原谅！请师兄们批评指正！我自己的业障自己背，不让师兄们背！感恩合十！
分享人：感恩～全素
2022-02-28
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For like last few months since like December I was drinking a big can of twisted tea everyday and maybe half of my girlfriends can and once a month usually get like a bottle of screwball whiskey and drink that in like 3 days. But not common. I picked up nicotine again around February and quit about a 1 month and half of realizing I was getting these thoughts weren’t normal for me. I feel like I’m a normally a very happy person and those thoughts scared me. I kept drinking through withdrawals and it was bad at first but one day I get hit with this pressure of anxiety in the morning. I have been smoking weed for 5 years straight and it’s the only thing that helps rn to get rid of this pressure. Everyday I wake up and it’s like I’m going to school knowing I didn’t do my homework and am going to get in trouble and just waiting and suffering in my head for some reason. I’m in my 20s and have no worries really and have no reason to be feeling this way. This isnt my first time quitting nicotine but it is my first time quitting alcohol and holy shit I don’t know what I did to myself. I quit about a month and a half ago drinking everyday but the other day I did take a shot a restaurant like an idiot and I felt so fucking good for 1 hour but the next morning I wanted to die from how bad it was. Idk how long this shit will last but should I keep smoking to help or is it just gonna do the same thing until I spark. Everyday I’m irritated and this shit is killing my mentally idk how people that have this can go through life honestly. Any tips help. This shit is taking longer then expected

Wrapping up day 11 y’all! I’m a repeat quitter and this time I’ve been more mindful about the experience; noticing the incremental changes along the journey. A couple of notes for my own historical reference (should I ever relapse and need a reminder!) and for some fun talking points.

1. I stopped taking my ADD meds to quit because I know these can make me more impulsive. And I also stopped drinking alcohol for the same reason. I expected that due to being off my meds I would tank in energy levels. However to my surprise I have been doing great with energy! Perhaps I balanced the scales by relieving my body of the harm from the nicotine and alcohol. Now, I will say, my ADD isn’t cured. But I’m working hard to use all of my behavioral skills to compensate.
   
2. Success Breeds Success. Thanks to the improvements to my health that I feel physically and mentally, I now have the desire to engage with other healthy behaviors. I started buying healthy foods again, taking walks, staying busy in my yard, and taking supplements. Previously, doing any of these things felt pointless because of all the harm I was doing by smoking cigarettes. Now, I don’t feel like I’m trying to swim upstream.
   
3. SEX in the last week has been notably different, in the best possible way. The first time I didn’t think much about it and thought it was a nice little outlier. However, by the third time my mind was blown this week, I realized there might be a correlation. So, I know circulation takes a while to improve completely, but there is definitely stuff out there that says that dropping the nicotine improves libido, intensity of orgasm, and stamina. If I had known this, I might chalk it up to the placebo effect. And I’ll admit I kind of remember having some small positive effects of this nature before, but this time is far more notable and it caught me off guard.
   

Next time I’m triggered or feeling cravings, I plan to reflect on this post. So hit me up with all your encouraging comments, friends!

I've been a smoker for the past 20 years, really enjoyed it for the most part (or so I thought!)... 5 days ago, I decided to stop because my wife was fed up with it all, and I realized I was doing her and myself a disservice by not acting on the signs.
At that moment, I escaped the habit and told myself it's actually easy, and not a difficult thing. I keep reminding myself that the cravings are just a product of my brain and that they do not have to be real. I've been reading Allen Carr's book to strengthen my mindset, and I gotta say, it's not as hard as I made it seem in the past. I've quit before and I made it sooo much harder on myself by thinking about "quitting", thinking about whether or not having "just 1" is okay, thinking along the lines of "this might not have been the best time to quit with all that I've got going on in my life"...
In the past, I wasted too much time wondering, worrying, craving, thinking about cigarettes.
Not doing that this time! This time, I'm focusing on the new life, focusing on how healthy I feel, focusing on how easy it is for me to breathe (& it's only been 5 days), focusing on celebrating gaining a new life & escaping an old life... I'm focused on winning.
On Day 3, I was craving HARD, and my head was spinning. On top of all that, I was walking by my regular gas station / 7 Eleven where I used to buy the drug... I was ALMOST about to do the deed, but I distracted myself by listening to a podcast about a topic that had nothing to do with health or smoking or anything, it was just an interesting conversation between 2 people and it took my attention.. I was able to ignore the store, and move along successfully!
If I can do this, quite easily, I believe anyone else can!

Looking for a constant consistent connection before dates. A constant chats daily. Not date to marry but for longterm relationship muna if ever
Me Working dayshift mon to fri, weekends off Busy sa work pero pwede naman isabay ang chat Tito vibes taong bahay person na, sawa na sa buhay binata na puro inom. Mahilig magluto May motor naman pwede kita iangkas pag nagkita tayo Mahilig magskateboard at mahilig sa banda pero dna umaattend ng gig. (Mas prio na bumili ng gamit sa bahay or sariling gamit) Hindi mahilig sa mamahaling kape, kopiko brown lang sapat na Slim athletic have tats/ moreno / 5'7 tall hygienic Non smoker non vaper. Quitted smoking 2017 pa ML Basketball at mag ayos ng scooter or motor ang libangan Residing north of qc
You Basta working ka din, alam mo ung tama at mali at willing makipag converse -4 or +3 sa age ko