How many dayquil capsules do you take
Learn Useless Talents
2012.06.07 00:14 Billobatch Learn Useless Talents
This is a place to learn how to do cool things that have no use other than killing time and impressing strangers.
2008.09.23 13:27 /r/hair
Welcome to the /hair community! This community is all about hair and beauty.
2011.03.30 03:47 ballewl Instagram
The un-official (and unaffiliated) subreddit for Instagram.com - Learn tips and tricks, ask questions and get feedback on your account. Come join our great community of over 900,000 users!
2024.05.29 06:53 StatisticianSuper129 A lot of the time, I wish I could’ve been born someone else tbh..
I guess I’m just here venting my feelings because life has been pretty hard lately and I don’t really have anywhere else to go with these thoughts at the moment. Feel free to stay if you can relate to my struggles, or don’t, the choice is yours. 99.9% of the time, it feels like I’m always wishing I could’ve been born into someone else, because I can’t stand how difficult my life has been made to be, and it just feels like too much of a burden to take on. I’m not sure if many other people here can relate to this feeling, but it feels as if I was born to just have a really insufferable and miserable life.
I was born gay, black (technically mixed but by a quarter), and not very good looking if I’m being honest. I grew up in the western US, and ever since I was about twelve, I was bullied for everything someone could be bullied for. The way that I looked, the way i spoke, being black, not being black enough, being occasionally (presumed) gay, etc. I just quite simply never fit anywhere and I was constantly reminded that I’m never good enough. I hated what I saw in the mirror so much to the point where I’d avoid every mirror possible and I would begin to feel resentment towards my family for birthing me into being at the absolute bottom of the social ladder. I know it’s not their fault that the world is the way it is and I do truly love them, but I just couldn’t stand the fact that my life was made incredibly difficult because I was born to them and not a more privileged family that could’ve provided me an easier life. Instead, I was given the burden of being born different in a society that just doesn’t like me for multiple reasons, and it’s now my job to completely change myself so that I can have a chance at a better life.
I spent a lot of time alone as a kid since I always felt insecure about myself, and I would work tirelessly to be more attractive, charming, and endearing so that others would treat me with kindness and respect. Instead of going outside and playing with others in the summer, I spent my summers doing what people now call “looksmaxxing”. I would stay out of the sun because I’d get picked on if I was “too dark”, spend everyday working out, grow my curly hair out to take attention away from my nose which I hated, practicing to hide my “gay voice”, and finding the coolest clothes to wear so people would be impressed with me by the next school year. I would never hang out with my school friends and never go out and just be a kid having fun like others did. I hated myself too much to do anything else because it felt like everyone else hated me or looked down on me for just existing. I just wanted to be someone that could have more in life, but it felt like I’d have to run myself into the ground trying to change enough to actually have a shot.
The sad thing is that this actually would work. With each year that went by in school I became closer to my goals. I hung out with the popular crowd beginning in freshman year of hs and started to feel better about myself because I started to gain recognition. All of this however took a turn when, long story short, I fell in love with my best friend since middle school and he turned on me in sophomore year due to him being closeted. He shut me out, and my other friends didn’t talk to me anymore because he was basically the leader of the popular kids. I switched schools in junior year and fell into a really deep depression that honestly I never fully healed from. I’m 22 now, and I’m honestly pretty messed up because I’ve had such a horrible childhood. I guess you could say I glew up dramatically in the years after hs, but only because I was bullied into basically becoming a different person, and I still feel the need to constantly change things about myself and obsess over my appearance. I don’t know how to get over the things I’ve been through and my life is still shitty today because of trauma and unfavorable circumstances I find myself in.
I see other people who are my same age or younger, and I get extremely angry because they have lives that seem so much better than my own; Friendships, relationships, happiness that they didn’t have to slave away for. I envy the ease that life has provided them and the freedom they must feel, while I always feel caged and confined to a life of hardship because I’m me… and they’re them. I want my life to be different, but it feels like the life they have was never meant for someone like me, and I have to spend years of my life trying to be where they were born. It’s so frustrating, and it all just feels like too much to bare. I don’t really know what the point of me writing all of this was, maybe just me letting off steam or reaching out into the void, but If you’re still reading this thanks for sticking around till the end lol. If anyone has any words of encouragement, I could definitely use it right about now because I’m really struggling 😂
submitted by StatisticianSuper129 to askgaybros [link] [comments]
I was born gay, black (technically mixed but by a quarter), and not very good looking if I’m being honest. I grew up in the western US, and ever since I was about twelve, I was bullied for everything someone could be bullied for. The way that I looked, the way i spoke, being black, not being black enough, being occasionally (presumed) gay, etc. I just quite simply never fit anywhere and I was constantly reminded that I’m never good enough. I hated what I saw in the mirror so much to the point where I’d avoid every mirror possible and I would begin to feel resentment towards my family for birthing me into being at the absolute bottom of the social ladder. I know it’s not their fault that the world is the way it is and I do truly love them, but I just couldn’t stand the fact that my life was made incredibly difficult because I was born to them and not a more privileged family that could’ve provided me an easier life. Instead, I was given the burden of being born different in a society that just doesn’t like me for multiple reasons, and it’s now my job to completely change myself so that I can have a chance at a better life.
I spent a lot of time alone as a kid since I always felt insecure about myself, and I would work tirelessly to be more attractive, charming, and endearing so that others would treat me with kindness and respect. Instead of going outside and playing with others in the summer, I spent my summers doing what people now call “looksmaxxing”. I would stay out of the sun because I’d get picked on if I was “too dark”, spend everyday working out, grow my curly hair out to take attention away from my nose which I hated, practicing to hide my “gay voice”, and finding the coolest clothes to wear so people would be impressed with me by the next school year. I would never hang out with my school friends and never go out and just be a kid having fun like others did. I hated myself too much to do anything else because it felt like everyone else hated me or looked down on me for just existing. I just wanted to be someone that could have more in life, but it felt like I’d have to run myself into the ground trying to change enough to actually have a shot.
The sad thing is that this actually would work. With each year that went by in school I became closer to my goals. I hung out with the popular crowd beginning in freshman year of hs and started to feel better about myself because I started to gain recognition. All of this however took a turn when, long story short, I fell in love with my best friend since middle school and he turned on me in sophomore year due to him being closeted. He shut me out, and my other friends didn’t talk to me anymore because he was basically the leader of the popular kids. I switched schools in junior year and fell into a really deep depression that honestly I never fully healed from. I’m 22 now, and I’m honestly pretty messed up because I’ve had such a horrible childhood. I guess you could say I glew up dramatically in the years after hs, but only because I was bullied into basically becoming a different person, and I still feel the need to constantly change things about myself and obsess over my appearance. I don’t know how to get over the things I’ve been through and my life is still shitty today because of trauma and unfavorable circumstances I find myself in.
I see other people who are my same age or younger, and I get extremely angry because they have lives that seem so much better than my own; Friendships, relationships, happiness that they didn’t have to slave away for. I envy the ease that life has provided them and the freedom they must feel, while I always feel caged and confined to a life of hardship because I’m me… and they’re them. I want my life to be different, but it feels like the life they have was never meant for someone like me, and I have to spend years of my life trying to be where they were born. It’s so frustrating, and it all just feels like too much to bare. I don’t really know what the point of me writing all of this was, maybe just me letting off steam or reaching out into the void, but If you’re still reading this thanks for sticking around till the end lol. If anyone has any words of encouragement, I could definitely use it right about now because I’m really struggling 😂
2024.05.29 06:52 Kashimenace More like Player Last Games, holy crap
 | Just how many predatory micro transactions are there in this game? submitted by Kashimenace to MultiVersus [link] [comments] From characters being locked behind a battle pass to the $5 option not giving you enough for a skin, confusing currency that you can't even check how to earn and the paywalled rifts... The new UI sucks, the camera zoom is horrendous, it feels like I'm both underwater and in space, my inputs time travel despite good ping and the perk system is just a mess now, this is insane because the game was actually decent during the Beta and they are doing everything they can, just not where it actually counts Deeply disappointed because I was excited for this game to come back, but this is just an L on so many levels, what did you guys even do for the past 1-2 years? https://preview.redd.it/ovk3gwiiqa3d1.png?width=899&format=png&auto=webp&s=48a5c3e06fbb8d828a2a0206fdbec7226a7c2a59 Highly impulsive and emotional post but seriously, there's just so much wrong with the game on so many levels Smash killer? This game can't even compete in the same realm no matter which universe it takes place in :/ |
2024.05.29 06:52 fernandapina There will be always hiccups, even when you feel 100% secure
May 30th is not only the anniversary of my codependency journey, but it is also the date of my most recent downward spiral, which occurred nearly a year ago. A spiral that made me realize I needed a lot more help than I thought. I'm now anxious-preoccupied, leaning secure. Nowadays, I don't get triggered easily and am able to make logical decisions and break down thoughts/feelings. I'm excellent at self-soothing, I communicate well and I do prioritize myself over everything else.
To provide some context, my attachment style was the result of how I grew up. My parents were inconsistent/absent, and they barely showed me affection. I also have C-PTSD, along with depression and anxiety from my SA experiences in childhood and adulthood. My baggage was massive, and after nearly 12 years of therapy, things are still not ideal, but they are significantly better than they were before. Unfortunately, it may require a traumatic event to convince us that something needs to change. And it doesn't matter whatever size the event is. What it matter is how it affects you.
30th May, 2023. I spiraled again due to a significant trigger. That particular trigger made me terrified of May 30--as I am now. After dealing with a lot of anxiety for the previous year, the spiral was terrifying. I completely lost myself, it hurt like a truck. I was ashamed of my feelings, and the only person I thought I could trust was a friend (now my roommate and close friend). I felt unworthy of love, friendship, you name it. All of that because I lost myself. I had no idea where I ended and where the other people in my life began. I cried almost every day before, but I cried every single day after that day for several weeks. I tried to downplay it so many times, but my therapist helped me to see how it was: a traumatizing event. I had nightmares for weeks, and my self-esteem plummeted.
When I joined the Codependency Discord and this subreddit, I had no idea where to begin my journey. CODA meetings were frightening, and the 12-step program appeared taunting. Take one step at a time. I didn't say anything during my first CODA meeting; I simply listened. But every time I listened, I felt less alone. And the healing stories filled me with hope and encouragement. I constantly felt wrong, so I found it difficult to express my emotions to others. But I pushed myself to open up to those who cared about me that I was struggling. I started reading books about codependency, my therapist focused on my attachment style, two friends often stayed with me over Discord calls when I was crying for hours late night, when I was so scared to sleep because of nightmares. I began meditating more. I began facing myself in the mirror every morning and telling myself that I could do it.
Some days were so bad that I could barely eat. But even taking a shower was a success. And with each victory, I kept going. I kept trying. The bad days gradually became less bad. They eventually became sparse. Many old triggers were no longer triggers. My old bad habits were gone. I moved to another city. I let go of a couple of friends. I created new ones. I began to perceive my romantic relationship differently. I forgive my parents. I forgive myself. I have much better relationships with others and myself. I was and am proud to say that I feel secure, and I now enjoy my own company.
The 30th of May is almost here again. Am I scared? Yes. God, I've been crying all week, and anxiety is knocking at my door. I'm not sure how I'll feel this Thursday. But I know that my reflection in the mirror is proud of who I am and who I want to become. I have a lot of good days to look forward to after May 30th. Then one day, May 30th, will be just another day.
submitted by fernandapina to Codependency [link] [comments]
To provide some context, my attachment style was the result of how I grew up. My parents were inconsistent/absent, and they barely showed me affection. I also have C-PTSD, along with depression and anxiety from my SA experiences in childhood and adulthood. My baggage was massive, and after nearly 12 years of therapy, things are still not ideal, but they are significantly better than they were before. Unfortunately, it may require a traumatic event to convince us that something needs to change. And it doesn't matter whatever size the event is. What it matter is how it affects you.
30th May, 2023. I spiraled again due to a significant trigger. That particular trigger made me terrified of May 30--as I am now. After dealing with a lot of anxiety for the previous year, the spiral was terrifying. I completely lost myself, it hurt like a truck. I was ashamed of my feelings, and the only person I thought I could trust was a friend (now my roommate and close friend). I felt unworthy of love, friendship, you name it. All of that because I lost myself. I had no idea where I ended and where the other people in my life began. I cried almost every day before, but I cried every single day after that day for several weeks. I tried to downplay it so many times, but my therapist helped me to see how it was: a traumatizing event. I had nightmares for weeks, and my self-esteem plummeted.
When I joined the Codependency Discord and this subreddit, I had no idea where to begin my journey. CODA meetings were frightening, and the 12-step program appeared taunting. Take one step at a time. I didn't say anything during my first CODA meeting; I simply listened. But every time I listened, I felt less alone. And the healing stories filled me with hope and encouragement. I constantly felt wrong, so I found it difficult to express my emotions to others. But I pushed myself to open up to those who cared about me that I was struggling. I started reading books about codependency, my therapist focused on my attachment style, two friends often stayed with me over Discord calls when I was crying for hours late night, when I was so scared to sleep because of nightmares. I began meditating more. I began facing myself in the mirror every morning and telling myself that I could do it.
Some days were so bad that I could barely eat. But even taking a shower was a success. And with each victory, I kept going. I kept trying. The bad days gradually became less bad. They eventually became sparse. Many old triggers were no longer triggers. My old bad habits were gone. I moved to another city. I let go of a couple of friends. I created new ones. I began to perceive my romantic relationship differently. I forgive my parents. I forgive myself. I have much better relationships with others and myself. I was and am proud to say that I feel secure, and I now enjoy my own company.
The 30th of May is almost here again. Am I scared? Yes. God, I've been crying all week, and anxiety is knocking at my door. I'm not sure how I'll feel this Thursday. But I know that my reflection in the mirror is proud of who I am and who I want to become. I have a lot of good days to look forward to after May 30th. Then one day, May 30th, will be just another day.
2024.05.29 06:47 1111anon1113 Official Clancy Theory
Okay kids, gather around. Time for me to say something. No one is saying it so I will.
Let’s be real. This album isn’t that great. The cover art is dumb. The music videos were very low effort and budget. The songs have little to no lore. You know you were underwhelmed. As much as we love watching Tyler and Josh dick around, that’s not what we expected to watch for 1.5 hours when the album dropped last week. This story has been over a decade in the making and this is how you end it?
“I created this world to feel some control. Destroy it if I want…”
First theory: He told us from the start. This album is toying with the idea of destroying this world he’s created. This is why the album cover is a photo of heavy fire behind Josh and Tyler. Tyler wanted to see what happens if he burns it to the ground after all these years. The “it was all just a dream” approach to Josh never having been real and Tyler still being captured by Blurryface is not the ending anyone wanted. There’s something comforting about that though. As humans we have a desire to push through. To survive. None of us want this to be the ending. That’s why it won’t be.
Background: Scaled and Icy was intentionally and conceptually bad. After blowing up with Blurryface and Trench there was great potential to intentionally sell out with the next album, making Dema a meta experience with the real world. Scaled and Icy was conceptually bad because they wanted to make a bunch of pop songs that take over the radio. Had this been successful it would have made the story so so much more powerful, but the songs they made were mediocre. They didn’t end up selling out. If anything, they chased away the fans who started to feel they were getting too old for twenty one pilots. SAI was a flop and must have been difficult for Tyler to experience, especially after years of executing so many of his previous ideas so well. Genius intention though.
First theory conclusion: The album Clancy is remnants of the Scaled and Icy experience. Tyler’s insecurities (bishops, Dema, whatever you want to translate them as) are the reason he’s toying with the consequences of simply destroying the world he’s created. A piece of him may feel that he’s already destroyed it a bit and wonders what happens if he goes all the way. (Side note: There’s beautiful irony though when one considers the belief that “destruction is a form of creation.”) Destroying this world would most definitely look like what we got. Another borderline pop album desperate for radio play with the lore simply being “Josh was never real it was all just a dream and Clancy gets captured by Blurryface.” Tyler made it very clear when he asked on the livestream though. “You tell me. Does this sound like the end?” No, of course not. Saying “Hello Clancy” does not sound like the end.
Second theory: This is all we get. The album Clancy. Tyler is over telling this story for the last 10 years. He’s destroying the world he created because he’s moving on. His lyricism isn’t nearly as passionate as it used to be and maybe that’s because he no longer deals with the struggles/insecurities that haunted him for so long. Everyone’s been wondering why we didn’t get any screaming in this album. He’s grown and is moving on. That’s what we all have to do in real life at one point or another. That’s the lesson to be learned. Create as much as you have to for however long you have to in order to stay alive.
Third theory: Twenty One Pilots have been on the hunt for another band member ever since it originally broke up and Josh joined. All this music has been attempts to find someone out there who can relate to his life experience so much that they understand all these cryptic lyrics with so many levels to them. Blurryface had multiple levels that the lyrics somehow told including surface level mental illness, then religious exploration, and then a fictional yet symbolic story/world he’s created. As much as any of us might relate to this music, only Tyler understands the lyrics to their profound depths they explore. He’s felt alone and in the end, he thinks that’s the case. He’s accepted that. This is why despite Josh helping him so much through it all, he was never there experiencing what Tyler was experiencing.
I’m now going to address you all as a disappointed father. Y’all. The clique is not what it used to be. There is so much to be discovered. Tyler always gives so much for us to discover. The employee at the exhibit is the one that had to show people that there was something to be discovered and that’s where we got “Clancy The Ultimate Chapter 25” from. Y’all, all that had to be done was a simple translation! What is going on with the clique? Remember how dedicated everyone was with discovering Trench? Remember how dedicated was with the simple single “Level of Concern” during covid? Are y’all really gonna pretend to just be content with this album and these lame music videos? What is going on? Dig deeper! That’s the whole fun of being a twenty one pilots fan (other than being convinced not to kill yourself, of course, but as worth it as it is, that’s not always fun). Obviously there is more to this album whether it be a double album, a film, a book, all of the above, whatever. It’s out there waiting to be discovered! Don’t sit around waiting until as late as August for it to be handed to you on a silver platter you lazy victims of late stage capitalism.
I said what I said. Defend yourselves, contribute your input, apologize, theorize, do whatever. Let's just get more discussion going.
This is all. Stay alive, friends. It’s so worth it, I promise.
Personal context: I’m a 25 year old artist. I stopped listening to twenty one pilots entering my early 20’s. But from 14-18 years old I religiously held onto twenty one pilots because my life sure as hell depended on it. I’ve never heard of anyone as devoted to them as I was (neither people I’ve known in my life nor strangers on the internet). Their music was something sacred and I sincerely considered myself the third member when hearing about the few, the proud, and the emotional.
After all, these lyrics aren’t for everyone, only few understand.
I moved to Mexico and lived there from October 2017 - October 2019 to serve a religious mission for a church I eventually ended up leaving. I had no access to the internet or music. I completely missed the Trench era and hype. It was absolute torture when I heard they had finally come out of hiatus but I had no way to hear the music or watch the videos. By the time I returned to the US and reconnected with society, I slowly forcefully convinced myself I didn’t need twenty one pilots anymore and refused to listen to them. (I was also simply scared to fall out of love with something that was once so special to me.) As bittersweet as it was, this helped me grow and mature a lot and my music taste has expanded exponentially ever since. I’m an audiophile, musician, photographer, writer, and a licensed pilot now. As much as I have intentionally disconnected myself from this band, I owe it a lot and will forever be grateful they convinced me to stay alive during such hard times in my life.
submitted by 1111anon1113 to twentyonepilots [link] [comments]
Let’s be real. This album isn’t that great. The cover art is dumb. The music videos were very low effort and budget. The songs have little to no lore. You know you were underwhelmed. As much as we love watching Tyler and Josh dick around, that’s not what we expected to watch for 1.5 hours when the album dropped last week. This story has been over a decade in the making and this is how you end it?
“I created this world to feel some control. Destroy it if I want…”
First theory: He told us from the start. This album is toying with the idea of destroying this world he’s created. This is why the album cover is a photo of heavy fire behind Josh and Tyler. Tyler wanted to see what happens if he burns it to the ground after all these years. The “it was all just a dream” approach to Josh never having been real and Tyler still being captured by Blurryface is not the ending anyone wanted. There’s something comforting about that though. As humans we have a desire to push through. To survive. None of us want this to be the ending. That’s why it won’t be.
Background: Scaled and Icy was intentionally and conceptually bad. After blowing up with Blurryface and Trench there was great potential to intentionally sell out with the next album, making Dema a meta experience with the real world. Scaled and Icy was conceptually bad because they wanted to make a bunch of pop songs that take over the radio. Had this been successful it would have made the story so so much more powerful, but the songs they made were mediocre. They didn’t end up selling out. If anything, they chased away the fans who started to feel they were getting too old for twenty one pilots. SAI was a flop and must have been difficult for Tyler to experience, especially after years of executing so many of his previous ideas so well. Genius intention though.
First theory conclusion: The album Clancy is remnants of the Scaled and Icy experience. Tyler’s insecurities (bishops, Dema, whatever you want to translate them as) are the reason he’s toying with the consequences of simply destroying the world he’s created. A piece of him may feel that he’s already destroyed it a bit and wonders what happens if he goes all the way. (Side note: There’s beautiful irony though when one considers the belief that “destruction is a form of creation.”) Destroying this world would most definitely look like what we got. Another borderline pop album desperate for radio play with the lore simply being “Josh was never real it was all just a dream and Clancy gets captured by Blurryface.” Tyler made it very clear when he asked on the livestream though. “You tell me. Does this sound like the end?” No, of course not. Saying “Hello Clancy” does not sound like the end.
Second theory: This is all we get. The album Clancy. Tyler is over telling this story for the last 10 years. He’s destroying the world he created because he’s moving on. His lyricism isn’t nearly as passionate as it used to be and maybe that’s because he no longer deals with the struggles/insecurities that haunted him for so long. Everyone’s been wondering why we didn’t get any screaming in this album. He’s grown and is moving on. That’s what we all have to do in real life at one point or another. That’s the lesson to be learned. Create as much as you have to for however long you have to in order to stay alive.
Third theory: Twenty One Pilots have been on the hunt for another band member ever since it originally broke up and Josh joined. All this music has been attempts to find someone out there who can relate to his life experience so much that they understand all these cryptic lyrics with so many levels to them. Blurryface had multiple levels that the lyrics somehow told including surface level mental illness, then religious exploration, and then a fictional yet symbolic story/world he’s created. As much as any of us might relate to this music, only Tyler understands the lyrics to their profound depths they explore. He’s felt alone and in the end, he thinks that’s the case. He’s accepted that. This is why despite Josh helping him so much through it all, he was never there experiencing what Tyler was experiencing.
I’m now going to address you all as a disappointed father. Y’all. The clique is not what it used to be. There is so much to be discovered. Tyler always gives so much for us to discover. The employee at the exhibit is the one that had to show people that there was something to be discovered and that’s where we got “Clancy The Ultimate Chapter 25” from. Y’all, all that had to be done was a simple translation! What is going on with the clique? Remember how dedicated everyone was with discovering Trench? Remember how dedicated was with the simple single “Level of Concern” during covid? Are y’all really gonna pretend to just be content with this album and these lame music videos? What is going on? Dig deeper! That’s the whole fun of being a twenty one pilots fan (other than being convinced not to kill yourself, of course, but as worth it as it is, that’s not always fun). Obviously there is more to this album whether it be a double album, a film, a book, all of the above, whatever. It’s out there waiting to be discovered! Don’t sit around waiting until as late as August for it to be handed to you on a silver platter you lazy victims of late stage capitalism.
I said what I said. Defend yourselves, contribute your input, apologize, theorize, do whatever. Let's just get more discussion going.
This is all. Stay alive, friends. It’s so worth it, I promise.
Personal context: I’m a 25 year old artist. I stopped listening to twenty one pilots entering my early 20’s. But from 14-18 years old I religiously held onto twenty one pilots because my life sure as hell depended on it. I’ve never heard of anyone as devoted to them as I was (neither people I’ve known in my life nor strangers on the internet). Their music was something sacred and I sincerely considered myself the third member when hearing about the few, the proud, and the emotional.
After all, these lyrics aren’t for everyone, only few understand.
I moved to Mexico and lived there from October 2017 - October 2019 to serve a religious mission for a church I eventually ended up leaving. I had no access to the internet or music. I completely missed the Trench era and hype. It was absolute torture when I heard they had finally come out of hiatus but I had no way to hear the music or watch the videos. By the time I returned to the US and reconnected with society, I slowly forcefully convinced myself I didn’t need twenty one pilots anymore and refused to listen to them. (I was also simply scared to fall out of love with something that was once so special to me.) As bittersweet as it was, this helped me grow and mature a lot and my music taste has expanded exponentially ever since. I’m an audiophile, musician, photographer, writer, and a licensed pilot now. As much as I have intentionally disconnected myself from this band, I owe it a lot and will forever be grateful they convinced me to stay alive during such hard times in my life.
2024.05.29 06:46 DeusAeterna Help upgrading old pc Motherboard and CPU
I'm not familiar with PCs in general, so I was extremely overwhelmed when I looked into it and found that theres AMD, intel, etc. I don't want to buy the wrong thing and just "destroy" my current setup by accident.
**If I were to try and look for a budget prebuilt PC what site would you recommend? (Canada)
Thanks for all the help!
I will follow the instructions
I also have a TB seagate HDD, couldn't add it to part picker for some reason
My PSU is a Seasonic 600 watt if I recall correctly
It'd be a bonus if I could also run some more recent Steam games like Baldurs Gate
submitted by DeusAeterna to buildapcforme [link] [comments]
**If I were to try and look for a budget prebuilt PC what site would you recommend? (Canada)
Thanks for all the help!
I will follow the instructions
Is this a brand new build, or an upgrade to an existing build?Upgrade to an existing build
Please list any existing parts or monitor(s) you have that you would like to re-use with this build. For upgrades, a PCPartPicker list of your full build is extremely helpful. Be as specific as you can be here, including links or exact model numbers of each component whenever possible.PC Part Picker Link: https://pcpartpicker.com/list/Tvpqz6
I also have a TB seagate HDD, couldn't add it to part picker for some reason
My PSU is a Seasonic 600 watt if I recall correctly
What will this PC be used for? Examples include things like gaming, general/multimedia use, photo/video editing, coding, AI/ML, etc. Include specific games and applications you intend to run, and any particular performance goals you have, as each may have different specific hardware needs.I'm upgrading primarily for Valorant. The game has gotten progressively harder to run through the years. It's gotten to the point where it takes me 5 mins to load into the main screen and I crash half the time.
It'd be a bonus if I could also run some more recent Steam games like Baldurs Gate
What country will you be purchasing in? If you are in the US, do you live near a Micro Center? For other countries, please check if your country is supported by PCPartPicker by using the country selector dropdown on the top right - if not, please provide some links to reliable local vendors you are comfortable ordering from.Canada
Do you need one or more monitors included in the budget? Please list how many and any size/resolution/refresh rate preferences if needed.No
What is your preferred and maximum budget range for this build, in local currency? Parts lists may sometimes have additional shipping costs. Please note whether prices in your country include sales tax or not, and adjust your budget accordingly. Typically VAT countries will have it included in the part list prices, whereas regular sales tax countries like the US and Canada will not.Around $400 CAD
Do you need WiFi, or do you have a wired ethernet connection available?wired ethernet
Do you have any specific size or noise requirements for the build?My current case is BitFenix Pandora (Micro-Atx iirc)
Do you have any aesthetic preferences for color or lighting? Describe what you're looking for, or feel free to provide some links to examples that may help. Some people prefer an inobtrusive stealth build, while others may prefer a case full of rainbow RGB.no
Any other specific requests or requirements? Examples might include a specific minimum amount of storage, or a particular CPU socket for a future upgrade path, etc.no
2024.05.29 06:45 MaeyaShort How do I ‘20 MTF’ explain my feelings to my best friends ’21F’ and ‘22F’?
What should I do with my eagerness to be wanted? With some background I am Maeya ‘20MTF’ and I never new my bio dad ’40M’ he and my mom ‘40F’ were young and he was a coward and left. My mom met my first stepdad ‘41M’ (aka stepdad 1) when I was 5 yo. He is mostly traditional he understands what being gay is but other than that hates all of it. Where I was the black sheep of the family. And where my brother who is 5 years younger was the masculine son he wanted. At school I was the floater in social groups who could be anywhere. But that didn’t mean I could fit in anywhere. I am too awkward of a conversationalist and social situations aren’t my strong suit. The group I stayed with through high school had 4-5 people all male and we were all “pairs” in the group where I was the third part of a trio that would hangout after school. Because my gendesexuality I really had too decode whether I had a crush on a girl or I just wanted to be them thankfully most of the time it was the ladder but I knew I was mostly into women. But because I did grow up in a semi traditionalistic setting and my messed up social awkwardness I didn’t ask anyone out ever. Because I was male presenting but flamboyant I was either expected to ask them out or I was too feminine too be into women. Which resulted in a couple of times being pranked on by both guys and girls saying that some girl would be into me just to be fake. One was a high school dance and another was just a Sophomore joke. Sophomore year my Nana passed away from a stomach/intestinal cancer. And because of my paternal upbringing she was the consistent secondary guardian that was there from the beginning. Then Junior year my mom and stepdad dad 1 got a divorce and then the pandemic happened. Senior year began and I knew I needed too prepare too say goodbye too my old life and prepare to start a new one and my friends will find there own paths in life too. But I did expect us too have a way of communicating. My mom ended up meeting someone and remarried in January of 2021. October of 2020 one my friends passed away from an OD. The rest of us graduated class of 2021. One friend ended up becoming a hermit I tried reaching out but he didn’t come out of his house. I ended up going to the Navy in September of 2021 but had a leg injury in bootcamp and didn’t make it. While in bootcamp my family moved across the country Northwest to the South. So I ended up going with them once I was out of bootcamp. I ended up feeling alone and restless I just found a job and was in a rut. Then in July of 2022 another one of my friends died in a car crash. This made me determined too try something new like college but that ended up not working out mentally. But things at work were looking brighter. I did come as trans at this time. And seeing a dynamic duo of Hope ‘21F’ and Sophia ‘22F’. For this story you need to know has been in a relationship for 3 years. I knew Sophia since I started working their and seeing her and Hope more at work and hearing about there night outs during the summer of 2023 when both turned 21 was something I wanted to be a part of as a friendship. It was difficult for me too articulate it especially when I am an outsider in so many ways but they said they’ll take me in. This was January of 2024. Due to the weather there wasn’t much communication but I did make plans to go out to a club as a first time being full femme and it was a time to tackle my gender anxieties but not my social anxieties so I wasn’t as social as I would’ve liked. Then after that Hope has had a lot of new adulting things this year from insurance, dental, a new car, and ending a three year relationship because of online betrayal.
When she broke up with her boyfriend I knew she was physically the most beautiful person inside and out I’ve ever seen but because of how well oiled her relationship seemed too be I never truly paid attention to this feeling. She is the center of the group and has constantly people wanting to hangout with her. But she was ranting how she is so bad at responding to people because there seems too be so much responsibility. With that every time I reach out she does respond in reasonable measure. But the only time I’ve been messaged by Hope or Sophia it’s too see if I can come in too cover someone else at work who called out. I know it’s not intentional. I didn’t tell Hope about the lack of communication. But I did explain my feelings and I knew she experimented once or twice and she doesn’t float that way but I have feelings for her and don’t know if they’ll go away but I’ve already accepted the facts and she means more too me than my own feelings and I’m willing too stay friends but just wanted too be honest with her and not do something stupid. She was completely understanding and as expected she viewed me as more of a sister and I completely understood and accepted. But now there is this growing communication issue where so many people want to be a part of Hope and Sophia’s click that I am having no communication in general because of my social anxieties, lack of experience in the South, am for and can hangout around recreational use but don’t partake myself, and my fear of being “the single trans/gay person of the group”. Because of those things I see people who do want to be a part of their click being shown more effort because they fit their vibe/vibe of their hangout and I don’t know what to do. From confessing my feelings to Hope and these communication issues I just realize I’ve had a few number 1 friends but I was nobody’s number 1. But I’m not looking to be number 1 I just want to not be last thought to feel wanted. I just need to know how to communicate this without feeling like I am forcing them too because the last thing I want is too be a friend out of pity.
submitted by MaeyaShort to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
When she broke up with her boyfriend I knew she was physically the most beautiful person inside and out I’ve ever seen but because of how well oiled her relationship seemed too be I never truly paid attention to this feeling. She is the center of the group and has constantly people wanting to hangout with her. But she was ranting how she is so bad at responding to people because there seems too be so much responsibility. With that every time I reach out she does respond in reasonable measure. But the only time I’ve been messaged by Hope or Sophia it’s too see if I can come in too cover someone else at work who called out. I know it’s not intentional. I didn’t tell Hope about the lack of communication. But I did explain my feelings and I knew she experimented once or twice and she doesn’t float that way but I have feelings for her and don’t know if they’ll go away but I’ve already accepted the facts and she means more too me than my own feelings and I’m willing too stay friends but just wanted too be honest with her and not do something stupid. She was completely understanding and as expected she viewed me as more of a sister and I completely understood and accepted. But now there is this growing communication issue where so many people want to be a part of Hope and Sophia’s click that I am having no communication in general because of my social anxieties, lack of experience in the South, am for and can hangout around recreational use but don’t partake myself, and my fear of being “the single trans/gay person of the group”. Because of those things I see people who do want to be a part of their click being shown more effort because they fit their vibe/vibe of their hangout and I don’t know what to do. From confessing my feelings to Hope and these communication issues I just realize I’ve had a few number 1 friends but I was nobody’s number 1. But I’m not looking to be number 1 I just want to not be last thought to feel wanted. I just need to know how to communicate this without feeling like I am forcing them too because the last thing I want is too be a friend out of pity.
2024.05.29 06:44 CaptainTinyDragon I need to tell someone about this.
I don’t know where else to say this. No one believes me, no one that hasn’t seen it already. But I have to say something so here it is and the world can decide.
I was a good worker. I showed up for my shifts and did what my written job description said, never missed a day or a chance for a day off. My goal was to be average, to not be good enough to noticed and given more responsibilities, but also not be bad enough to be noticed and put on watch. It’s what I’ve done all my life. Fly under the radar, be easily missed during inspections and blend into the crowd. I got B’s in school, had no intention of going to college or university, not like I’d ever be able to afford it, just wanted a secure job to let me afford my underachieving lifestyle. Took me almost ten years to find something like that, drifitng from one job to another, leaving when too many people started to notice I was much better at the job than I let on.
And eventually I found the perfect fit for myself. I was an overnight security operator, don’t get excited it’s a fancy title for spending all night watching security monitors, for a commuter train. I can’t say which one or where for the safety of others and myself. The job was simple, watch the camera feeds of my designated train and write a report for anything unusual. On a rare occasion make a statement to the police, and I mean rare occasion. In my five years doing that job I spoke to the police maybe twice before the incident.
I think that’s enough background so onto the point. It was a regular Thursday night, shift started at 10pm, working with Larry, Bob, and Sue (not their real names for their safety and more importantly, mine) watching the cameras. Made some notes, forgotten umbrella (wasn’t raining), camera glitch, group of 4 drunk men, person in hoodie doing the drug addict lean (you know the one). The camera glitch was expected, an extension to the rail line was recently completed which included a very long tunnel through a hill side, which about the middle of it was so deep that the cameras would cut out for about 2-3 seconds. It was actually pretty amazing that we got any signal from the trains in the tunnel at all. The wonders of signal boosters. But something about that night caught my attention. I didn’t know what it was at first, just felt something was off. I ignored it that night because at 3 am, everything feels weird. At the end of the shift, about 930am I made my report for the night, handed the desk over to Bill (again, not their real name) and went home on the same train system I monitored.
But the feeling was still in my head. Something happened on the train that night that I wasn’t consciously aware of. I ignored it still, drank my favorite cheap whiskey and went to bed. The feeling stayed with me the next few days. That damned feeling that you know something isn’t right but you can’t figure out. It’s like when you accidently put your phone in a different pocket than normal. So finally on Monday night (you have no idea how busy security monitors get on weekends) when my trains were in the depot getting cleaned I brought up the Thursday night footage and scrolled through it. Same things I made note of were there but the feeling was still there. So I went through it again. And again. The fifth time through I finally found it.
On the third wagon, almost in the blindspot between the cameras, at 2:58am was a regular person just playing a game on their phone. The camera glitched for 2 seconds, and they were gone. I though maybe they just moved completely into the blindspot but no, they were gone. Didn’t get off the train, didn’t reappear. I checked the entire recording of the night. I had no idea what to do. I should have told someone, or made a report, or anything. Instead, I told myself that was really weird and kept doing my thing. Flying under the radar, trying to be mostly invisible.
Two weeks later on Monday night, I saw it again. The camera glitch, and someone disappearing. I scrolled back the footage to make sure. Again, I did nothing. This time telling myself it was just shadows on the lense or the plastic bubble around the camera was dirty. But you know what they say; once is odd, twice is a coincidence, thrice is a pattern. The third time I did something. I made a report. Yeah, real brave i know. Making a comment about “shadows on the lense after tunnel glitch” on my daily report. But that night I started looking into missing people cases. Larry asked what I was doing, I said reading the news while my train was getting cleaned. Better than Bob, who was usually watching youtube and/or playing games on his phone while his train was still making rounds.
Anyways, I found some leads. 3 missing people, last seen heading to the public commuter train before disappearing. But there were more, so many more. Dozens over the past several years, all last seen heading into the area above the new tunnel. Unsurprisingly, they had all been alone at the time.
I won’t go into detail about how this troubled me for nearly a year. Just know that eventually curiosity got its way. On a night off I got my jacket and went out to a train station. Late spring night, a bit colder than prefered, 2am train. The last circuit before this train would make for the depot for maintenance. And I was on it. It would take nearly an hour to reach the tunnel and I was scared but I had to know. Like all those times you watch or read some horror and the character starts reaching for the obviously dangerous thing, you mock them endlessly but I understood now. Fear of the unknown is strong and just seeing what is obviously evil will help you put it out of your mind. But I knew the rules. Be ready to run, have two exits planned, don’t look back.
I sat near the door because I didn’t want to stand the whole time. And when the train finally barreled into the tunnel I started to regret my choice. It was nearly a mile long and just enough room for the train and a very brave worker on each side. I watched my watch 2:59am and ticking closer to 3am. Tick, tick, tick. Who knew a twenty year old analog watch could be so ominous? But then my watch stopped. I looked out the windows and the train had stopped. Not rolled to a stop like trains need to do, just complete dead stop and I didn’t notice. But the lights on the walls were stretched out, the effect that you can only see when you’re moving past them really fast in the dark. My first thought, being a sci-fi fan was that time stopped, yet I moved.
Then I heard a scream and footsteps at the end of the train behind me. I thought about the rules of survival I made and then thought about time being stopped, would the doors open? WOuld I be safe jumping from the train? I’ve seen what happens when someone gets clipped by a train (one of the reasons I had to speak to police) and it’s messy. I heard another scream, desperate and afraid, then the sound of someone tumbling to the floor and something scratching over the floor. A phone bounced off my foot and spun to a stop in front of me. I looked down at it as the screams behind mean grew more horrified and pained. I dared a look at the window to see the reflection of what was happening. And the best I can say is smoke pouring over someone but it was completely shredding the person like a blender but not making a noise and vacuuming up the shreds. Some mental fortitude I didn’t know about kept me from puking and stock still. The screams eventually came to a wet gurgling end and in the reflection I saw a pair of lights flick on in the smoke. Looking back they were eyes but in the moment they were two neon blue lights looking at the window, then making eye contact with me in the reflection. I held my breath.
The smoke soundlessly glided up the aisle and I kept still, not moving at all, keeping my eyes exactly were they were focused before. It drifted closer and closer to me and by god I wanted to cry. It hovered there letting me catch a scent and I want to say it smelled like something burning, or like rot and death, or anything bad. But it was worse, so much worse. It smelled like cooked pork, lightly burnt. It hovered for what felt like hours beside me, I was desperate for air, my eyes were burning from not blinking and those neon lights were staring into my soul. Then the train wobbled as it passed a bend. I have no idea when the thing disappeared or when time resumed, felt like I blacked out for a moment but I know that's not what it was.
I sat there in my seat blinking and breathing deeply to recover. And then I looked down. The phone was still on the floor near my feet. I left it there but I kept staring at it, like when you notice broken glass on the ground and focus on it so you can avoid stepping in it. At the next station i got off the train and went to an always open fast food place. I got a coffee and started writing this. It would be two hours until a train back towards my apartment, one that takes the old long route around the tunnel.
I didn't sleep that day. How could I after watching someone get shredded and devoured? So I sat at my PC and wandered through my games library all day. Think I fell asleep a couple times for maybe an hour. Next night I went to work like normal, focused on my usual behavior. But after two hours I was called into my supervisor's office.
It was relatively normal, they check in with night shift people every few months to make sure we're doing okay. See if we want to change to day shift for mental health. Was all normal until he put his clipboard down and off to the side. He took a deep breath and looked at me, like really looked. That deep penetrating look when someone can see through your lies.
“You saw it.” He said. Three simple words that felt like he was telling me I had a fatal incurable illness. I just nodded. “You have two choices now. Like all of us that know. Either you leave and find a new job and never speak of the incident because you will be a suspect in the disappearance; or you keep doing your job as you always have but with a raise to ignore the camera glitches.” I sat for a while assuming I had to make a choice then and there.
That conversation has been burned into my brain. I still remember it verbatim. And I wish I could say I made the morally correct choice. But I'm an underachieving coward always looking to take the easy path. So I still watch the cameras through the night, but with some extra money to ignore the occasional camera glitch on the extension. I found out accidentally that Larry and Sue also knew about the incidents and made the same choice I did. And we all knew the same amount of nothing and we prefer it that way.
So that's why I'm putting this out there. Maybe someday someone better than me can figure this out.
I still can't eat pork.
submitted by CaptainTinyDragon to nosleep [link] [comments]
I was a good worker. I showed up for my shifts and did what my written job description said, never missed a day or a chance for a day off. My goal was to be average, to not be good enough to noticed and given more responsibilities, but also not be bad enough to be noticed and put on watch. It’s what I’ve done all my life. Fly under the radar, be easily missed during inspections and blend into the crowd. I got B’s in school, had no intention of going to college or university, not like I’d ever be able to afford it, just wanted a secure job to let me afford my underachieving lifestyle. Took me almost ten years to find something like that, drifitng from one job to another, leaving when too many people started to notice I was much better at the job than I let on.
And eventually I found the perfect fit for myself. I was an overnight security operator, don’t get excited it’s a fancy title for spending all night watching security monitors, for a commuter train. I can’t say which one or where for the safety of others and myself. The job was simple, watch the camera feeds of my designated train and write a report for anything unusual. On a rare occasion make a statement to the police, and I mean rare occasion. In my five years doing that job I spoke to the police maybe twice before the incident.
I think that’s enough background so onto the point. It was a regular Thursday night, shift started at 10pm, working with Larry, Bob, and Sue (not their real names for their safety and more importantly, mine) watching the cameras. Made some notes, forgotten umbrella (wasn’t raining), camera glitch, group of 4 drunk men, person in hoodie doing the drug addict lean (you know the one). The camera glitch was expected, an extension to the rail line was recently completed which included a very long tunnel through a hill side, which about the middle of it was so deep that the cameras would cut out for about 2-3 seconds. It was actually pretty amazing that we got any signal from the trains in the tunnel at all. The wonders of signal boosters. But something about that night caught my attention. I didn’t know what it was at first, just felt something was off. I ignored it that night because at 3 am, everything feels weird. At the end of the shift, about 930am I made my report for the night, handed the desk over to Bill (again, not their real name) and went home on the same train system I monitored.
But the feeling was still in my head. Something happened on the train that night that I wasn’t consciously aware of. I ignored it still, drank my favorite cheap whiskey and went to bed. The feeling stayed with me the next few days. That damned feeling that you know something isn’t right but you can’t figure out. It’s like when you accidently put your phone in a different pocket than normal. So finally on Monday night (you have no idea how busy security monitors get on weekends) when my trains were in the depot getting cleaned I brought up the Thursday night footage and scrolled through it. Same things I made note of were there but the feeling was still there. So I went through it again. And again. The fifth time through I finally found it.
On the third wagon, almost in the blindspot between the cameras, at 2:58am was a regular person just playing a game on their phone. The camera glitched for 2 seconds, and they were gone. I though maybe they just moved completely into the blindspot but no, they were gone. Didn’t get off the train, didn’t reappear. I checked the entire recording of the night. I had no idea what to do. I should have told someone, or made a report, or anything. Instead, I told myself that was really weird and kept doing my thing. Flying under the radar, trying to be mostly invisible.
Two weeks later on Monday night, I saw it again. The camera glitch, and someone disappearing. I scrolled back the footage to make sure. Again, I did nothing. This time telling myself it was just shadows on the lense or the plastic bubble around the camera was dirty. But you know what they say; once is odd, twice is a coincidence, thrice is a pattern. The third time I did something. I made a report. Yeah, real brave i know. Making a comment about “shadows on the lense after tunnel glitch” on my daily report. But that night I started looking into missing people cases. Larry asked what I was doing, I said reading the news while my train was getting cleaned. Better than Bob, who was usually watching youtube and/or playing games on his phone while his train was still making rounds.
Anyways, I found some leads. 3 missing people, last seen heading to the public commuter train before disappearing. But there were more, so many more. Dozens over the past several years, all last seen heading into the area above the new tunnel. Unsurprisingly, they had all been alone at the time.
I won’t go into detail about how this troubled me for nearly a year. Just know that eventually curiosity got its way. On a night off I got my jacket and went out to a train station. Late spring night, a bit colder than prefered, 2am train. The last circuit before this train would make for the depot for maintenance. And I was on it. It would take nearly an hour to reach the tunnel and I was scared but I had to know. Like all those times you watch or read some horror and the character starts reaching for the obviously dangerous thing, you mock them endlessly but I understood now. Fear of the unknown is strong and just seeing what is obviously evil will help you put it out of your mind. But I knew the rules. Be ready to run, have two exits planned, don’t look back.
I sat near the door because I didn’t want to stand the whole time. And when the train finally barreled into the tunnel I started to regret my choice. It was nearly a mile long and just enough room for the train and a very brave worker on each side. I watched my watch 2:59am and ticking closer to 3am. Tick, tick, tick. Who knew a twenty year old analog watch could be so ominous? But then my watch stopped. I looked out the windows and the train had stopped. Not rolled to a stop like trains need to do, just complete dead stop and I didn’t notice. But the lights on the walls were stretched out, the effect that you can only see when you’re moving past them really fast in the dark. My first thought, being a sci-fi fan was that time stopped, yet I moved.
Then I heard a scream and footsteps at the end of the train behind me. I thought about the rules of survival I made and then thought about time being stopped, would the doors open? WOuld I be safe jumping from the train? I’ve seen what happens when someone gets clipped by a train (one of the reasons I had to speak to police) and it’s messy. I heard another scream, desperate and afraid, then the sound of someone tumbling to the floor and something scratching over the floor. A phone bounced off my foot and spun to a stop in front of me. I looked down at it as the screams behind mean grew more horrified and pained. I dared a look at the window to see the reflection of what was happening. And the best I can say is smoke pouring over someone but it was completely shredding the person like a blender but not making a noise and vacuuming up the shreds. Some mental fortitude I didn’t know about kept me from puking and stock still. The screams eventually came to a wet gurgling end and in the reflection I saw a pair of lights flick on in the smoke. Looking back they were eyes but in the moment they were two neon blue lights looking at the window, then making eye contact with me in the reflection. I held my breath.
The smoke soundlessly glided up the aisle and I kept still, not moving at all, keeping my eyes exactly were they were focused before. It drifted closer and closer to me and by god I wanted to cry. It hovered there letting me catch a scent and I want to say it smelled like something burning, or like rot and death, or anything bad. But it was worse, so much worse. It smelled like cooked pork, lightly burnt. It hovered for what felt like hours beside me, I was desperate for air, my eyes were burning from not blinking and those neon lights were staring into my soul. Then the train wobbled as it passed a bend. I have no idea when the thing disappeared or when time resumed, felt like I blacked out for a moment but I know that's not what it was.
I sat there in my seat blinking and breathing deeply to recover. And then I looked down. The phone was still on the floor near my feet. I left it there but I kept staring at it, like when you notice broken glass on the ground and focus on it so you can avoid stepping in it. At the next station i got off the train and went to an always open fast food place. I got a coffee and started writing this. It would be two hours until a train back towards my apartment, one that takes the old long route around the tunnel.
I didn't sleep that day. How could I after watching someone get shredded and devoured? So I sat at my PC and wandered through my games library all day. Think I fell asleep a couple times for maybe an hour. Next night I went to work like normal, focused on my usual behavior. But after two hours I was called into my supervisor's office.
It was relatively normal, they check in with night shift people every few months to make sure we're doing okay. See if we want to change to day shift for mental health. Was all normal until he put his clipboard down and off to the side. He took a deep breath and looked at me, like really looked. That deep penetrating look when someone can see through your lies.
“You saw it.” He said. Three simple words that felt like he was telling me I had a fatal incurable illness. I just nodded. “You have two choices now. Like all of us that know. Either you leave and find a new job and never speak of the incident because you will be a suspect in the disappearance; or you keep doing your job as you always have but with a raise to ignore the camera glitches.” I sat for a while assuming I had to make a choice then and there.
That conversation has been burned into my brain. I still remember it verbatim. And I wish I could say I made the morally correct choice. But I'm an underachieving coward always looking to take the easy path. So I still watch the cameras through the night, but with some extra money to ignore the occasional camera glitch on the extension. I found out accidentally that Larry and Sue also knew about the incidents and made the same choice I did. And we all knew the same amount of nothing and we prefer it that way.
So that's why I'm putting this out there. Maybe someday someone better than me can figure this out.
I still can't eat pork.
2024.05.29 06:44 Available-Lack8633 Where to begin when trying to cultivate new relationships as a recently convicted offender?
Disclaimer: this is an extremely long post with a lot of background information. If you wish to skip, please proceed to paragraph 7 lol
I was convicted in October of ‘23 for pandering. I spent 5 months in my county’s CBCF as a result of the charge and have been placed on probation for 2 years but could be let off sooner. However, the 22 videos and 44 images that I dreadfully downloaded happened back in October of ‘21.
To make another extremely long story short, this happened due to the end of my 2 year marriage that resulted in infidelity on both ends (I was 20 and she was 18 when we got married) and I decided to cope in the worst ways possible. Alcohol binges, dating apps, porn, hook ups and steroids. I believe the steroids that I took were a huge contributing factor in terms of escalating the type of porn I was watching which inevitably led me down a rabbit hole over a 3 year span. However the illegal stuff was a very isolated time frame, less than a month, before realizing what I was doing was extremely wrong.
Not trying to make excuses, but during that time I was dating my soon to be baby mom and our relationship was extremely toxic and unhealthy. She ended up finding non illegal images of younger girls in my dropbox account in my files on my computer (I was completely unaware my phone was being backed up.) She obviously freaked, and I was very open and honest about things. It took a while for her to come around and understand, but we agreed that I were to get help. I did and it was very useful. As time went on, she would accuse me of looking at images still (I wasn’t) and would get mad if I watched porn at all (even though she did all the time) I was the only one who worked and I had to provide for her and her son. It was very difficult and I was constantly ridiculed. Every day I was in that relationship it was like walking on eggshells due to her threatening to expose me. I was trapped. Eventually I lost my job and while I was unemployed for a month is when I said “fuck it, if I’m going to get accused all the time I may as well escape from this hellhole somehow” and that’s when the illegal stuff happened.
I felt ashamed of myself and deleted everything I had off my phone (or so I thought). Months go by, we have our daughter, everything is fine until one night she goes through my phone while I was asleep because she thought I was cheating on her. I worked at a popular bar with lots of attractive girls. And honestly, I did cheat on her once and the evidence was there. But while she went through my phone, she found a couple deleted non illegal images that I deleted from my camera roll recently and a zip file in my “files” app on my phone that had a female name on it. I thought I deleted everything from my past but I forgot one thing. She then turns my phone in to the police while I was asleep and the investigation was underway.
I decide to contact a lawyer and move home with my parents. A couple days later, she stops by the house and we have a conversation and I tell her the truth about what I downloaded in the past. She regretted things immediately and wanted to move home with me and genuinely make things work. Well, since you’re reading this post, obviously things didn’t work out. We separated again after 3 months because of a fictional cultivated scenario of DV in my car where I ended up with more bruises on my face than her fake makeup bruise she painted on the day later. But because I was the drunk, big male passenger, I was charged and sent to jail. We didn’t speak to one another for 6 months then tried to make things work again when I took a plea deal for Assault because she threatened I wouldn’t see my daughter if I took things to trial. We dated for another 6 months, getting hotels and spending time as a family up until I was sentenced to CBCF. Mind you, this whole time her family and her friends and everyone on her social media didn’t know we were together since she plastered my case and me all over Facebook and Instagram, exaggerating everything. Saying I had hundreds of thousands of images and that I beat her up, all of which simply wasn’t true.
While I was in CBCF, we had phone calls and video visits for a month before finding out that she was already dating and living with another guy. I was heartbroken and it made my time in there difficult but eventually, I learned to let go and focus on healing myself. I took many classes in which I took very seriously and received great mental health treatment. I felt the happiest I had been in 7 years. I get out, I see my daughter and have breakfast with baby mom, and then things go south again. My case is plastered all over social media from people I went to high school with, containing all these outrageous claims and then my baby mom chimes in and puts out more false info.
So finally what I’m getting at, is how can I even think about trying to make new friends or even try to have a relationship with anyone? The people I thought were my friends stopped talking to me except for one. He’s my best friend and I’m very grateful for him. I’ve told him my story and he never judged once, he actually understood. I’m trying my best to restart my life, but I have so much anxiety doing so because of all the misinformation plastered everywhere on social media.
For instance, I met a couple girls a few weeks ago that bartend and I thought would be great recruits for my buddy’s restaurant that I’m helping open. We all become friends and last week I finally let one of the girls know I was interested in her since the other one told me that she thought I was hot. We agreed that it wasn’t going to be anything serious and just enjoy the summer with each other since she just got out of a relationship and wanted to focus on herself. Well, I’m assuming she somehow caught wind of things about me because today she asked “what’s your last name” I told her, despite nervously knowing where it was headed. I sent another text stating “I’m assuming I know why you’re asking, and to be honest I have no problem telling you the truth about things if you’re actually interested in knowing. If not, I totally understand”
No response. I check insta, she unfollowed me. Check snap, she deleted me.
I understand people’s decisions and have no problem with them. I can’t take things personally and can accept things for what they are. However, at night I really start to think about things and make myself upset because why won’t anyone let me tell them my side of the story? Not my “friends,” and not someone who I genuinely felt like I had a great connection with. I don’t plan on hiding who I am, but I at least want the person to know that I am a good human being who is working on themselves diligently before ever bringing up my past.
How would any of my fellow offenders tackle this, and how would you female supporters react to my situation? I’m trying my best to rebuild my life but the anxiety of it all can be crippling. Now I have to start over to square one, with my confidence reset back to 0 now that I’ve been ghosted.
I would consider myself to be an attractive man, solid 7.5-8. 5’11, 210lbs and very into fitness. I bust my ass at work, drive a nice vehicle, I’m compassionate, empathetic and emotionally mature thankfully because of therapy. I’m not trying to blow my own horn, but I would consider myself to be a high quality man. However, this conviction is a major blow to everything else I have going on for me. Any advice on how anyone believes I should go about my life would be greatly appreciated. This is all new to me, and it’s very frustrating to say the least.
Thank you all for your time in advance
submitted by Available-Lack8633 to SexOffenderSupport [link] [comments]
I was convicted in October of ‘23 for pandering. I spent 5 months in my county’s CBCF as a result of the charge and have been placed on probation for 2 years but could be let off sooner. However, the 22 videos and 44 images that I dreadfully downloaded happened back in October of ‘21.
To make another extremely long story short, this happened due to the end of my 2 year marriage that resulted in infidelity on both ends (I was 20 and she was 18 when we got married) and I decided to cope in the worst ways possible. Alcohol binges, dating apps, porn, hook ups and steroids. I believe the steroids that I took were a huge contributing factor in terms of escalating the type of porn I was watching which inevitably led me down a rabbit hole over a 3 year span. However the illegal stuff was a very isolated time frame, less than a month, before realizing what I was doing was extremely wrong.
Not trying to make excuses, but during that time I was dating my soon to be baby mom and our relationship was extremely toxic and unhealthy. She ended up finding non illegal images of younger girls in my dropbox account in my files on my computer (I was completely unaware my phone was being backed up.) She obviously freaked, and I was very open and honest about things. It took a while for her to come around and understand, but we agreed that I were to get help. I did and it was very useful. As time went on, she would accuse me of looking at images still (I wasn’t) and would get mad if I watched porn at all (even though she did all the time) I was the only one who worked and I had to provide for her and her son. It was very difficult and I was constantly ridiculed. Every day I was in that relationship it was like walking on eggshells due to her threatening to expose me. I was trapped. Eventually I lost my job and while I was unemployed for a month is when I said “fuck it, if I’m going to get accused all the time I may as well escape from this hellhole somehow” and that’s when the illegal stuff happened.
I felt ashamed of myself and deleted everything I had off my phone (or so I thought). Months go by, we have our daughter, everything is fine until one night she goes through my phone while I was asleep because she thought I was cheating on her. I worked at a popular bar with lots of attractive girls. And honestly, I did cheat on her once and the evidence was there. But while she went through my phone, she found a couple deleted non illegal images that I deleted from my camera roll recently and a zip file in my “files” app on my phone that had a female name on it. I thought I deleted everything from my past but I forgot one thing. She then turns my phone in to the police while I was asleep and the investigation was underway.
I decide to contact a lawyer and move home with my parents. A couple days later, she stops by the house and we have a conversation and I tell her the truth about what I downloaded in the past. She regretted things immediately and wanted to move home with me and genuinely make things work. Well, since you’re reading this post, obviously things didn’t work out. We separated again after 3 months because of a fictional cultivated scenario of DV in my car where I ended up with more bruises on my face than her fake makeup bruise she painted on the day later. But because I was the drunk, big male passenger, I was charged and sent to jail. We didn’t speak to one another for 6 months then tried to make things work again when I took a plea deal for Assault because she threatened I wouldn’t see my daughter if I took things to trial. We dated for another 6 months, getting hotels and spending time as a family up until I was sentenced to CBCF. Mind you, this whole time her family and her friends and everyone on her social media didn’t know we were together since she plastered my case and me all over Facebook and Instagram, exaggerating everything. Saying I had hundreds of thousands of images and that I beat her up, all of which simply wasn’t true.
While I was in CBCF, we had phone calls and video visits for a month before finding out that she was already dating and living with another guy. I was heartbroken and it made my time in there difficult but eventually, I learned to let go and focus on healing myself. I took many classes in which I took very seriously and received great mental health treatment. I felt the happiest I had been in 7 years. I get out, I see my daughter and have breakfast with baby mom, and then things go south again. My case is plastered all over social media from people I went to high school with, containing all these outrageous claims and then my baby mom chimes in and puts out more false info.
So finally what I’m getting at, is how can I even think about trying to make new friends or even try to have a relationship with anyone? The people I thought were my friends stopped talking to me except for one. He’s my best friend and I’m very grateful for him. I’ve told him my story and he never judged once, he actually understood. I’m trying my best to restart my life, but I have so much anxiety doing so because of all the misinformation plastered everywhere on social media.
For instance, I met a couple girls a few weeks ago that bartend and I thought would be great recruits for my buddy’s restaurant that I’m helping open. We all become friends and last week I finally let one of the girls know I was interested in her since the other one told me that she thought I was hot. We agreed that it wasn’t going to be anything serious and just enjoy the summer with each other since she just got out of a relationship and wanted to focus on herself. Well, I’m assuming she somehow caught wind of things about me because today she asked “what’s your last name” I told her, despite nervously knowing where it was headed. I sent another text stating “I’m assuming I know why you’re asking, and to be honest I have no problem telling you the truth about things if you’re actually interested in knowing. If not, I totally understand”
No response. I check insta, she unfollowed me. Check snap, she deleted me.
I understand people’s decisions and have no problem with them. I can’t take things personally and can accept things for what they are. However, at night I really start to think about things and make myself upset because why won’t anyone let me tell them my side of the story? Not my “friends,” and not someone who I genuinely felt like I had a great connection with. I don’t plan on hiding who I am, but I at least want the person to know that I am a good human being who is working on themselves diligently before ever bringing up my past.
How would any of my fellow offenders tackle this, and how would you female supporters react to my situation? I’m trying my best to rebuild my life but the anxiety of it all can be crippling. Now I have to start over to square one, with my confidence reset back to 0 now that I’ve been ghosted.
I would consider myself to be an attractive man, solid 7.5-8. 5’11, 210lbs and very into fitness. I bust my ass at work, drive a nice vehicle, I’m compassionate, empathetic and emotionally mature thankfully because of therapy. I’m not trying to blow my own horn, but I would consider myself to be a high quality man. However, this conviction is a major blow to everything else I have going on for me. Any advice on how anyone believes I should go about my life would be greatly appreciated. This is all new to me, and it’s very frustrating to say the least.
Thank you all for your time in advance
2024.05.29 06:40 rdk67 Spring Day 70: Policing and Reflective Authority
At the city council meeting – council chambers, they’re called – I hop up, take the mic when the time comes for public input about the budget. The council likes it more when we speak off the cuff, but I’m horrible about time constraints – I tend to over explain certain points so that when I look up at the clock – it’s a countdown clock, and you get precisely five minutes – I sometimes laugh out loud about the thirty seconds remaining or whatever. Thirty seconds? Isn’t it funny how time rules our lives? – what I want to say to the city council as an aside, then contemplate my conscious experience of time as a kid, a child, when bedtime was like a curse, an adversary, and I would read by flashlight, fall asleep on the facing pages. Summers were how long then? Years? How long ‘til holiday? Decades? Old folks were unimaginable, evidence of time travel.
Good evening, City Council – nice chambers.
If a budget is a moral document, then conversation about the budget is really a discussion about the sort of justice we seek as a community.
This is never truer than with the budget of the police – a vocation that collects evidence of alleged crimes, whether it’s a homicide or a speeding ticket, and which vocation assists the state’s attorney in prosecuting cases by providing a report, physical evidence and sometimes courtroom testimony.
Did you notice how I did not say police are here to protect us? It’s a popular misconception. As a long-time member of community courtwatch, I’ve attended hundreds of criminal court hearings, listened to all the details of crimes and debates about guilt and innocence, and it’s rarely the case that police protect anyone. Mainly they are professionals at collecting evidence.
In the course of their duties, the police also sometimes respond to alleged crimes in progress, in which case they also try to mitigate harm – this is the image of policing we know from movies and tv shows, and while this is helpful in some instances, such as domestic violence cases where no-contact orders are routine, mostly what the police do is compile evidence.
I grew up in a very gun-friendly household – the sort of farm family that has a small arsenal in a bedroom closet and knows how to use it. I was 7-years-old when I first fired a gun, and I was carrying a shotgun through the woods when I was 10. I try neither to be overly respectful nor idly dismissive of those who carry guns for a living.
What I can fairly say about anyone who carries a weapon in service to their vocation is that, as soon as the weapon comes out, any notion of a budget as a moral document vanishes, and the interactions that follow are about following commands, not justice.
Even when guns and tasers and pepper spray are simply present – on display but still holstered – the use-of-force premise significantly robs a situation of its capacity for justice.
Don’t try to talk your way out of a speeding ticket – we’ve all heard this advice. Always say yes sir and no ma’am when dealing with the police – we’ve all said this to young people – to help them stay out of trouble, we say. Staying out of trouble – this is what comes to mind when municipal authority is represented by its use-of-force potential.
When weapons are present during the interaction, concepts of neighborliness and reason will always take a backseat to use-of-force potential. This is why we can never count on policing, as a vocation, to improve community justice or public safety, even if they lived in the communities they patrol, which as we know, most policer officers don’t.
As we discuss the city’s budget, I would like you to imagine funding a community responder model in place of more police – one that has its own department, its own budget, its own pathways to promotion.
A community responder model consists of licensed social workers, trained in trauma-informed nonviolent communication, with an expertise in connecting clients with the resources they need to solve problems and be sustainable – more than just helping people stay out of trouble.
The community responder model uses a different form of authority, which we call reflectivity, which is about sharing information and talking things out. An estimated 73% of the calls for policer service in our city could be handled by community responders. These are calls about noisy neighbors, suspicious persons, mental health crises, overgrown lawns.
As an activist, I know that institution building is not what government bodies like to do – they prefer to do almost anything but build new institutions. In practice, this means funding what’s already there, which are known quantities, even if they are also less effective than alternatives.
So I’m here asking you all to take on the hard task, go the extra step and assume the extra risk – by building a post-policing institution based on the community responder model.
By investing in nonviolent forms of authority, when and where we can, we do more than promote a law-abiding citizenry. We create the basis by which residents are more likely to trust municipal authority, are more willing to engage in nonviolent communication skills themselves, and are readier to think about what it means to make our city a better place to live.
This is the promise of building out a community responder model. More than closing criminal cases or impelling people to do as they’re told, we create the foundation for a new municipal authority premised on nonviolent intervention.
I urge you to ratify a budget that strongly supports a community responder model in place of traditional policing – thank you.
The mayor in response to my address – she has done this on more than one occasion after I’ve spoken – stopped the proceedings to wonder aloud how many members of the public planned to speak. There was a show of hands, then public comment continued. See, they have this rule related to time and the number of speakers, but in reality, it’s like she wants to say: how much more of this will I have to take? When I think it through later, I realize another interpretation is that she’s said to herself – bravo, bravo, this metaphysical weather reporter just said it all, I’ve made up my mind – I need hear no more! I wouldn’t feel comforted by that response either, though the mood of the chambers suggested this was unlikely. A dozen people spoke against extra funding for the police, some from the perspective of having been brutalized by police.
I fantasize about opening a coffee shop themed around tonight’s premise – daily disquisition by the patrons of the coffee shop about no extra funding for police. Day after day, week after week, regulars and total strangers would take the stage in one corner of the room to explain why there should be no extra funding for police. Sure, some people might have particular police officers in mind, certain agencies that bug them more than others, but the orators would be encouraged to speak against use-of-force as a form of authority generally. When we think of heaven, when we have visions of the good life for everyone, the sort of authority you won’t find is use-of-force – by definition, everyone feels welcome to be there, feels heard. True, we may be wise enough not to wish for heaven on earth, but let’s remember – better forms of authority than policing exist.
Afterthought: The mayor questions the figure of 73% in her public thoughts on the matter, and I agree the projections need to be taken apart, made accurate, but I find it just as likely over time that the percentage will be higher than that. A constricted police department – with specialized duties in the community – would be a sign of a new concept of reflective authority. I believe we are at a moment in history where that change can take place at the level of municipal authority, whatever the initial workload looks like.
submitted by rdk67 to MetaphysicalWeather [link] [comments]
Good evening, City Council – nice chambers.
If a budget is a moral document, then conversation about the budget is really a discussion about the sort of justice we seek as a community.
This is never truer than with the budget of the police – a vocation that collects evidence of alleged crimes, whether it’s a homicide or a speeding ticket, and which vocation assists the state’s attorney in prosecuting cases by providing a report, physical evidence and sometimes courtroom testimony.
Did you notice how I did not say police are here to protect us? It’s a popular misconception. As a long-time member of community courtwatch, I’ve attended hundreds of criminal court hearings, listened to all the details of crimes and debates about guilt and innocence, and it’s rarely the case that police protect anyone. Mainly they are professionals at collecting evidence.
In the course of their duties, the police also sometimes respond to alleged crimes in progress, in which case they also try to mitigate harm – this is the image of policing we know from movies and tv shows, and while this is helpful in some instances, such as domestic violence cases where no-contact orders are routine, mostly what the police do is compile evidence.
I grew up in a very gun-friendly household – the sort of farm family that has a small arsenal in a bedroom closet and knows how to use it. I was 7-years-old when I first fired a gun, and I was carrying a shotgun through the woods when I was 10. I try neither to be overly respectful nor idly dismissive of those who carry guns for a living.
What I can fairly say about anyone who carries a weapon in service to their vocation is that, as soon as the weapon comes out, any notion of a budget as a moral document vanishes, and the interactions that follow are about following commands, not justice.
Even when guns and tasers and pepper spray are simply present – on display but still holstered – the use-of-force premise significantly robs a situation of its capacity for justice.
Don’t try to talk your way out of a speeding ticket – we’ve all heard this advice. Always say yes sir and no ma’am when dealing with the police – we’ve all said this to young people – to help them stay out of trouble, we say. Staying out of trouble – this is what comes to mind when municipal authority is represented by its use-of-force potential.
When weapons are present during the interaction, concepts of neighborliness and reason will always take a backseat to use-of-force potential. This is why we can never count on policing, as a vocation, to improve community justice or public safety, even if they lived in the communities they patrol, which as we know, most policer officers don’t.
As we discuss the city’s budget, I would like you to imagine funding a community responder model in place of more police – one that has its own department, its own budget, its own pathways to promotion.
A community responder model consists of licensed social workers, trained in trauma-informed nonviolent communication, with an expertise in connecting clients with the resources they need to solve problems and be sustainable – more than just helping people stay out of trouble.
The community responder model uses a different form of authority, which we call reflectivity, which is about sharing information and talking things out. An estimated 73% of the calls for policer service in our city could be handled by community responders. These are calls about noisy neighbors, suspicious persons, mental health crises, overgrown lawns.
As an activist, I know that institution building is not what government bodies like to do – they prefer to do almost anything but build new institutions. In practice, this means funding what’s already there, which are known quantities, even if they are also less effective than alternatives.
So I’m here asking you all to take on the hard task, go the extra step and assume the extra risk – by building a post-policing institution based on the community responder model.
By investing in nonviolent forms of authority, when and where we can, we do more than promote a law-abiding citizenry. We create the basis by which residents are more likely to trust municipal authority, are more willing to engage in nonviolent communication skills themselves, and are readier to think about what it means to make our city a better place to live.
This is the promise of building out a community responder model. More than closing criminal cases or impelling people to do as they’re told, we create the foundation for a new municipal authority premised on nonviolent intervention.
I urge you to ratify a budget that strongly supports a community responder model in place of traditional policing – thank you.
The mayor in response to my address – she has done this on more than one occasion after I’ve spoken – stopped the proceedings to wonder aloud how many members of the public planned to speak. There was a show of hands, then public comment continued. See, they have this rule related to time and the number of speakers, but in reality, it’s like she wants to say: how much more of this will I have to take? When I think it through later, I realize another interpretation is that she’s said to herself – bravo, bravo, this metaphysical weather reporter just said it all, I’ve made up my mind – I need hear no more! I wouldn’t feel comforted by that response either, though the mood of the chambers suggested this was unlikely. A dozen people spoke against extra funding for the police, some from the perspective of having been brutalized by police.
I fantasize about opening a coffee shop themed around tonight’s premise – daily disquisition by the patrons of the coffee shop about no extra funding for police. Day after day, week after week, regulars and total strangers would take the stage in one corner of the room to explain why there should be no extra funding for police. Sure, some people might have particular police officers in mind, certain agencies that bug them more than others, but the orators would be encouraged to speak against use-of-force as a form of authority generally. When we think of heaven, when we have visions of the good life for everyone, the sort of authority you won’t find is use-of-force – by definition, everyone feels welcome to be there, feels heard. True, we may be wise enough not to wish for heaven on earth, but let’s remember – better forms of authority than policing exist.
Afterthought: The mayor questions the figure of 73% in her public thoughts on the matter, and I agree the projections need to be taken apart, made accurate, but I find it just as likely over time that the percentage will be higher than that. A constricted police department – with specialized duties in the community – would be a sign of a new concept of reflective authority. I believe we are at a moment in history where that change can take place at the level of municipal authority, whatever the initial workload looks like.
2024.05.29 06:39 Tear-Relative AITA for being the reason for my bestfriend's engagement to break off?
Me (30) and my bestfriend Mary (31) have been friends for 8 years, during this friendship, Mary was aware that cheating on a relationship is a big no-no for me (as all decent people should). Even when I find out celebrities, colleagues or even people I don't know break up because of cheating, I get this bitter taste in my mouth. It's all because, all my life, my dad is a serial cheater and even now even after 34 years - he still is. It started when Mary and I worked together on a cruise ship for the first time in our years of working on different contracts - we finally got the same ship and same contract dates. She is already engaged by this time and will be married in a few months, so almost all the preparations are done. And since we are on a cruise ship and far away from our country, Mary and her fiance Mark (36) are on a long distance relationship. I can only imagine planning a wedding apart from your partner. I know it's been hard on her. Over the course of our 6 month contract together, she developed a lot of guy friends within the crew (people who work onboard the ship) since there are more guys who hangout on crew bars at night after our shift. I on the other hand don't drink so I just sleep early since I work 11 hrs a day everyday. Oftentimes, she goes back to our cabin drunk or sometimes with her new friends in the middle of the night, sometimes it will wake me, sometimes not, which being a crew member for a few years living with different kinds of roommates, i am used to it.
But one night, I cannot fall asleep because my partner and I had a fight and I was waiting for him to reply, i heard someone open the door and I heard a man's voice snickering(obviously trying to not make a noise) and Mary's shushing noise followed him. For context we live on a cabin with a bunk bed and I'm top bunk and I have curtains for privacy. Obviously they won't be able to tell if i'm awake or not. I then heard kissing noises and felt movements soon after - they were doing the deed. My gut fell and I wanted to be a mean nosy bitch and go down and ask them what they think they are doing but I just stopped myself, telling myself it's none of my business and that I can deal with her tomorrow.
The next day came and I talked to her - to cut the story short, she's been feeling sad and she's having cold feet. She felt loved and seen by this "guy" and when they talk he just makes her feel everything she will be giving up when she gets married. For context again, Mark is her first boyfriend and they'd been together for 10 years. She just feels that she has been missing out being with him for so long and said she "wanted to try some new things". I argued with her, that if this was the case, she should break up with Mark instead of sleeping around and cheating. I told her that if she gets married with these thoughts in her head, she would end up hurting Mark (plus there's no divorce in our country, only an annulment and it's hell to pay - not that it's an excuse just a sidenote haha). She said she would think about it and wait for the right time, but apparently - her thinking about it means she'll still sleep around with this guy.
I hate every bit of it, but she asked me not to say anything and to not ruin anything I am not a part of. I've known this guy as much as I know her, Mark, my boyfriend and I bond on music and biking and he is practically like a big brother to me. But, I also want to respect Mary's life and her decisions. I continue to be there for her, on her mental breakdowns and her bad days when she feels really bad with the things she has been doing. I advise her to do the right thing and tell him. But ishe asked me to promise not to tell, inside I feel so bad, because this is not what my convictions are telling me. I know I have to be honest and I feel that I'm betraying Mark by not telling him. And in a weird way, i feel that the trauma I had growing up with a father that cheats, now with a bestfriend who does the same thing is taking a toll on me. I actually got so anxious with this situation that I often zone-out, had no appetite and I actually lost a lot of weight.
Our contracts pass and we're about to go home in a few weeks and she's still sleeping with the guy and some others, still "thinking about it", still not letting go of Mark and still going through with the wedding preps. And she still begs me not to say anything. I cannot tell you how many times I drafted a message on my notepad composing what I will tell Mark. There were also times Mark messaged me and asked me why Mary seems so distant lately. The urge to say the truth is really hard to supress but because I love Mary so much I try to be understanding and wanted her to tell it directly to him so as not to humiliate their 10 year relationship.
Fast forward, I came home a week before her. Being back to the Philippines and seeing my mom waiting for me in the airport - so beautiful and kind and yet knowing how much she feels unloved by my dad made me snap. On that day I came home I sent a whatsapp message to Mary, "I'm telling Mark" and turned off my phone. I met up with Mark that same night and told him everything. He was dumbfounded, he was crying and we spent 5 hours on that coffee shop talking and just him on a roller coaster of anger, sadness and just plain pity on himself really. He really does love her. So much. My boyfriend and I took him home. He was just staring into space on the car ride home and I feel so bad and i had this lingering feeling that I know i did the right thing but i also caused pain.
When I woke up and turned on my phone I had a hundred of texts, missed calls and even emails saying that i answer the phone, that i'm an ungrateful friend, a backstabber, i am stupid and that i just wanted to see her fall because I'm jealous of her. She said she was planning to go home and confess to him directly so that she can reason with him to continue with the wedding despite the circumstance. She said that she had never seen this evil side of me and she pity me because there's nothing interesting going on in my life that I had to cause drama in other people's lives.
I felt worse. I haven't replied to her and it has been 3 weeks from then to today as of writing. I deactivated all my socials because i heard from a friend that she has been posting cryptic status online. They called it off and informed everybody on the guest list. I still receive e-mails from her to this day saying 'I hope you are happy' and 'You're not a hero, you're a villain.' Mark had messaged me saying thanks but thats about it. I think he is also off the grid and not talking to anyone. I feel so so bad and the way she reacted to me made me feel that I'm an asshole for telling, so am i?
P.S Sorry for the long story, I'm just really writing the way I feel about it as it is still so fresh.
And if you were able to read this Charlotte, just wanted to let you know that you have a lot of fans from the Philippines. <3 Keep up being such a great youtuber you are such a great company specially at times like this.
submitted by Tear-Relative to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]
But one night, I cannot fall asleep because my partner and I had a fight and I was waiting for him to reply, i heard someone open the door and I heard a man's voice snickering(obviously trying to not make a noise) and Mary's shushing noise followed him. For context we live on a cabin with a bunk bed and I'm top bunk and I have curtains for privacy. Obviously they won't be able to tell if i'm awake or not. I then heard kissing noises and felt movements soon after - they were doing the deed. My gut fell and I wanted to be a mean nosy bitch and go down and ask them what they think they are doing but I just stopped myself, telling myself it's none of my business and that I can deal with her tomorrow.
The next day came and I talked to her - to cut the story short, she's been feeling sad and she's having cold feet. She felt loved and seen by this "guy" and when they talk he just makes her feel everything she will be giving up when she gets married. For context again, Mark is her first boyfriend and they'd been together for 10 years. She just feels that she has been missing out being with him for so long and said she "wanted to try some new things". I argued with her, that if this was the case, she should break up with Mark instead of sleeping around and cheating. I told her that if she gets married with these thoughts in her head, she would end up hurting Mark (plus there's no divorce in our country, only an annulment and it's hell to pay - not that it's an excuse just a sidenote haha). She said she would think about it and wait for the right time, but apparently - her thinking about it means she'll still sleep around with this guy.
I hate every bit of it, but she asked me not to say anything and to not ruin anything I am not a part of. I've known this guy as much as I know her, Mark, my boyfriend and I bond on music and biking and he is practically like a big brother to me. But, I also want to respect Mary's life and her decisions. I continue to be there for her, on her mental breakdowns and her bad days when she feels really bad with the things she has been doing. I advise her to do the right thing and tell him. But ishe asked me to promise not to tell, inside I feel so bad, because this is not what my convictions are telling me. I know I have to be honest and I feel that I'm betraying Mark by not telling him. And in a weird way, i feel that the trauma I had growing up with a father that cheats, now with a bestfriend who does the same thing is taking a toll on me. I actually got so anxious with this situation that I often zone-out, had no appetite and I actually lost a lot of weight.
Our contracts pass and we're about to go home in a few weeks and she's still sleeping with the guy and some others, still "thinking about it", still not letting go of Mark and still going through with the wedding preps. And she still begs me not to say anything. I cannot tell you how many times I drafted a message on my notepad composing what I will tell Mark. There were also times Mark messaged me and asked me why Mary seems so distant lately. The urge to say the truth is really hard to supress but because I love Mary so much I try to be understanding and wanted her to tell it directly to him so as not to humiliate their 10 year relationship.
Fast forward, I came home a week before her. Being back to the Philippines and seeing my mom waiting for me in the airport - so beautiful and kind and yet knowing how much she feels unloved by my dad made me snap. On that day I came home I sent a whatsapp message to Mary, "I'm telling Mark" and turned off my phone. I met up with Mark that same night and told him everything. He was dumbfounded, he was crying and we spent 5 hours on that coffee shop talking and just him on a roller coaster of anger, sadness and just plain pity on himself really. He really does love her. So much. My boyfriend and I took him home. He was just staring into space on the car ride home and I feel so bad and i had this lingering feeling that I know i did the right thing but i also caused pain.
When I woke up and turned on my phone I had a hundred of texts, missed calls and even emails saying that i answer the phone, that i'm an ungrateful friend, a backstabber, i am stupid and that i just wanted to see her fall because I'm jealous of her. She said she was planning to go home and confess to him directly so that she can reason with him to continue with the wedding despite the circumstance. She said that she had never seen this evil side of me and she pity me because there's nothing interesting going on in my life that I had to cause drama in other people's lives.
I felt worse. I haven't replied to her and it has been 3 weeks from then to today as of writing. I deactivated all my socials because i heard from a friend that she has been posting cryptic status online. They called it off and informed everybody on the guest list. I still receive e-mails from her to this day saying 'I hope you are happy' and 'You're not a hero, you're a villain.' Mark had messaged me saying thanks but thats about it. I think he is also off the grid and not talking to anyone. I feel so so bad and the way she reacted to me made me feel that I'm an asshole for telling, so am i?
P.S Sorry for the long story, I'm just really writing the way I feel about it as it is still so fresh.
And if you were able to read this Charlotte, just wanted to let you know that you have a lot of fans from the Philippines. <3 Keep up being such a great youtuber you are such a great company specially at times like this.
2024.05.29 06:39 Away_Cheetah8612 My best friend’s bf is being a stick in the mud about throwing her a surprise party, do I throw it anyways?
About a week ago, I reached out to my best friend (26f)’s bf (25m) about throwing her a surprise birthday party. My idea is to throw her a surprise birthday party that is “dad rock themed” because that is the type of music she grew up listening to and is her comfort genre. Ideally, we would all dress up as rock/grunge stars or dads as a joke and play funny dad themed games, bbq, cornhole, etc. My best friend is also my roommate so I want to throw it at our house.
I reached out to my best friend’s mom, who said she thought my best friend would love the idea and let me know she will help with anything I need to make it happen.
However, when I reached out to my best friend’s bf about this, he reacted way differently than I thought. His first concern that he expressed was who all was coming because he doesn’t know how many friends she has to invite. I told him I planned to invite a mix of her family, coworkers, mutual friends, and my bf and him. In total, it wouldn’t be a lot of people, maybe 10. This wasn’t a concern for me because when she threw me a surprise party, there was less than 10 and I still had an amazing time with all of the people who loved me most. She has said many times she prefers smaller groups anyways.
I explained to him that it would just be a small kickback type situation, just bbq and music and good vibes. He responded that he didn’t think she would like it because those people wouldn’t “mesh well” and suggested I do a spa date or an escape room with her instead.
Here’s why I’m considering throwing the party anyways:
For some more context, this bf is in the music industry and when I asked him about doing the music for this party, he said it would be easy , but that he didn’t know if he wanted to do it because then he wouldn’t be able to also party.
I can’t help but feel like he is being selfish/ inconsiderate and projecting because he is a more introverted person and wouldn’t want that for himself . I don’t care if he helps or not but idk if I can pull this off without him, bc they are together so often.
Sorry if this was too long, but I’m new to Reddit . Open to honest opinions about this and any advice about how I can make her day special if not this party/ how I can go about this disagreement with her bf. I care about her so much and just want to take care of her the way she takes care of me. Is there even a compromise here?
TL,DR: My best friend’s bf and I disagree on what we should do for her birthday and I’m thinking of going with me idea despite his opinion. I feel like he is wrong but don’t know what to do.
submitted by Away_Cheetah8612 to relationships [link] [comments]
I reached out to my best friend’s mom, who said she thought my best friend would love the idea and let me know she will help with anything I need to make it happen.
However, when I reached out to my best friend’s bf about this, he reacted way differently than I thought. His first concern that he expressed was who all was coming because he doesn’t know how many friends she has to invite. I told him I planned to invite a mix of her family, coworkers, mutual friends, and my bf and him. In total, it wouldn’t be a lot of people, maybe 10. This wasn’t a concern for me because when she threw me a surprise party, there was less than 10 and I still had an amazing time with all of the people who loved me most. She has said many times she prefers smaller groups anyways.
I explained to him that it would just be a small kickback type situation, just bbq and music and good vibes. He responded that he didn’t think she would like it because those people wouldn’t “mesh well” and suggested I do a spa date or an escape room with her instead.
Here’s why I’m considering throwing the party anyways:
- She has never had a party thrown for her before and has been dropping hints like telling me what kind of cake she would like. When I straight up asked her the other day “would you like a surprise party? Or would you hate that?” She told me she didn’t know because she has never had anyone do something like that for her.
- She already did an escape room with him a while back and I wanted to do something more personal and special
- She had originally planned to go with her bf on their annual bday camping trip, but they cancelled it due to financial reasons (aka they both spent money going to HIS sister’s graduation)
- She is the type of person who is always taking care of everyone else and is always mentioning how it would be nice for people to do the same for her too
- I personally don’t think it is about the people that are there, but that it is about celebrating her for her day.
For some more context, this bf is in the music industry and when I asked him about doing the music for this party, he said it would be easy , but that he didn’t know if he wanted to do it because then he wouldn’t be able to also party.
I can’t help but feel like he is being selfish/ inconsiderate and projecting because he is a more introverted person and wouldn’t want that for himself . I don’t care if he helps or not but idk if I can pull this off without him, bc they are together so often.
Sorry if this was too long, but I’m new to Reddit . Open to honest opinions about this and any advice about how I can make her day special if not this party/ how I can go about this disagreement with her bf. I care about her so much and just want to take care of her the way she takes care of me. Is there even a compromise here?
TL,DR: My best friend’s bf and I disagree on what we should do for her birthday and I’m thinking of going with me idea despite his opinion. I feel like he is wrong but don’t know what to do.
2024.05.29 06:37 PrimaryAccomplished9 🥲 Emails
 | When you receive emails like this the night before score release does this mean you’re cooked ? 🤡 submitted by PrimaryAccomplished9 to Mcat [link] [comments] |
2024.05.29 06:36 31234134 What are your thoughts on certain substances allowing you to see Djinn?
The 3Muslims had a video in where they went over a study that discussed the spiritual experiences that subjects on DMT went through, as well as their meeting with the "entities"(Timestamp- 33:48). From this study, it seemed that most of the subjects who were athiests before taking DMT, no longer claimed to follow athiesm after their experience. I believe there were other studies which were done that saw something similar, although I don't think they were as specific or had as large of a subject pool as this one.
This video made me question how one can ascertain which substances provide actual spiritual experiences (communicating with Djinn/realm of Djinn) and ones that simply cause hallucinatory experiences. I tried looking on subs like Psychonaut and those similar to it, but unfortunately, there wasn't much that I could consider concrete. It seems that many who have had their eyes opened to another reality, whether it was truly spiritual or not, have concluded that all psychedelics provide some spiritual experience. Of course, some believed that all psychedelics simply cause hallucinatory experiences and nothing more, and some saw no difference between the two. As you can no doubt understand, this makes it extremely hard to get any concrete answers. YouTube was more helpful, not by a whole lot, but enough to help me in my research.
From what I was able to gather, it seemed that DMT and Shrooms are the best way to communicate with Djinn. Maybe mescaline too, although from what I personally saw, it did not come up as much so I am not too sure about it. On the other hand, drugs like LSD, Ketamine, etc. seem more likely to cause a hallucinatory experience than a spiritual one.
I just want to let you all know that the research I did, was in no way extensive. Due to the current legality of the substances in question, it's practically impossible to properly study something like this. Even if the legality was not an issue, I highly doubt something like this would get much funding, but that's just a personal opinion, so I could be wrong.
What do you guys think? Are there substances that allow us to communicate with Djinn? If so, which substances specifically? How is it possible? Are we even able to study how it's possible?
submitted by 31234134 to Djinnology [link] [comments]
This video made me question how one can ascertain which substances provide actual spiritual experiences (communicating with Djinn/realm of Djinn) and ones that simply cause hallucinatory experiences. I tried looking on subs like Psychonaut and those similar to it, but unfortunately, there wasn't much that I could consider concrete. It seems that many who have had their eyes opened to another reality, whether it was truly spiritual or not, have concluded that all psychedelics provide some spiritual experience. Of course, some believed that all psychedelics simply cause hallucinatory experiences and nothing more, and some saw no difference between the two. As you can no doubt understand, this makes it extremely hard to get any concrete answers. YouTube was more helpful, not by a whole lot, but enough to help me in my research.
From what I was able to gather, it seemed that DMT and Shrooms are the best way to communicate with Djinn. Maybe mescaline too, although from what I personally saw, it did not come up as much so I am not too sure about it. On the other hand, drugs like LSD, Ketamine, etc. seem more likely to cause a hallucinatory experience than a spiritual one.
I just want to let you all know that the research I did, was in no way extensive. Due to the current legality of the substances in question, it's practically impossible to properly study something like this. Even if the legality was not an issue, I highly doubt something like this would get much funding, but that's just a personal opinion, so I could be wrong.
What do you guys think? Are there substances that allow us to communicate with Djinn? If so, which substances specifically? How is it possible? Are we even able to study how it's possible?
2024.05.29 06:36 a_winters_day I’m about to turn 18, and my single-ish mom is 29 weeks pregnant. How do I help her as much as possible?
I’m not quite sure how to start this, but the main goal of this post is to hopefully gain some advice on how to be as much as a help to my mother (39F) as possible, through her third trimester and past postpartum.
For some context, this baby will be my mother’s fourth child, however, he’s her first child with her current boyfriend (35?M). The rest of us have the same father who she was married to for around 18 years, until a few years ago. She has been with her current partner for two years. (Their anniversary was recently)
My father was quite abusive and my mom was left to do most things regarding us children alone, as a very young woman.
I do not want this pregnancy to be anything like that. However, I’m not sure that her current partner is completely ready for this father role. Which is fair, considering this is his first child and this was an accidental pregnancy.
He has yet to move in with us, which I am sure my mother is concerned about, because he has had since December to do so and it is now late May. He is a slow person in general and takes his time, but my mother has expressed to him many times that she would like for him to be moved in as soon as possible. He lives with his mom and brother as a caregiver figure of sorts for his mother (To give him so grace… but it’s barely that). However, we live extremely close and it would be very easy for him to get to her.
This next piece of context is extremely important!! I have a brother (13) who is special needs. He has a chromosome disorder so rare he’s the only person on earth with it. It’s quite hard to explain, but he needs 24/7 supervision. And he’s not easy to manage. Thankfully, he has a caregiver that helps some days of the week. But on the days he doesn’t, he is a lot for my mother to handle. I help the best I can, but I often feel like I can’t do enough to be a good help after her baby is born.
I am constantly researching things about pregnancy, birth, postpartum, babies, and more. I think instagram thinks i’m expecting at this point. But I’m not, and I’ve never been. I don’t know how to help in ways that are worthwhile. What can I do to truly make my mom as happy as possible? And to make this her best pregnancy experience yet?
I clean and make her breakfast (sometimes on breakfast… i tried to make her a snack yesterday and ended up just wasting food, and it’s things like that that make me wonder if I’m making things worse by trying to help. Maybe i’d just be getting in the way) but for some reason i feel like nothing is enough.
I know there’s only so much I can do. But sometimes i wish I could take the baby and raise him as my own away from her, so she could finally spend part of her just for herself, not taking care of others.
Also, I don’t have my drivers license, and don’t plan on getting it because the drivers where I live are very bad. We got in a car accident last month, and I’ve felt shaken up in the car ever since. I bring that up because it means i can’t go get stuff for her postpartum, unless I use my electric bike. I would like to be able to help in that way, though.
I just graduated high school, so I’ve been getting lots of money. I’ve been trying to either save it or spend it on the baby and my mom. I also have an internship for June that will make me over 1 or 2,000 dollars I can’t remember. I wanted to give it all to her. Maybe pay part of the hospital bill? I know those are really bad.
She’s also been stressed about money, I think. For some reason, her managers won’t give her shifts. Her partner works at the same place, but since he lives with his mom, he isn’t working and is focusing on pharmacy school stuff. Maybe i’m projecting my own feelings, (Because from time to time i resent them for getting pregnant) but i can imagine she’s upset he isn’t thinking ahead to all the things this baby will need.. all the expenses… etc.
Anyway, that was a lot of rambling, sorry. If anyone has advice for me on how to helpful without getting in the way, please let me know. I need it very much, and it’s eternally appreciated. Even if you just list off things people would’ve helped you with when you were pregnant and postpartum.
She doesn’t like me helping because i’m a (her) kid, but it feels like my duty as the eldest. I might update this if i remember more things but for now :) thank you
submitted by a_winters_day to Advice [link] [comments]
For some context, this baby will be my mother’s fourth child, however, he’s her first child with her current boyfriend (35?M). The rest of us have the same father who she was married to for around 18 years, until a few years ago. She has been with her current partner for two years. (Their anniversary was recently)
My father was quite abusive and my mom was left to do most things regarding us children alone, as a very young woman.
I do not want this pregnancy to be anything like that. However, I’m not sure that her current partner is completely ready for this father role. Which is fair, considering this is his first child and this was an accidental pregnancy.
He has yet to move in with us, which I am sure my mother is concerned about, because he has had since December to do so and it is now late May. He is a slow person in general and takes his time, but my mother has expressed to him many times that she would like for him to be moved in as soon as possible. He lives with his mom and brother as a caregiver figure of sorts for his mother (To give him so grace… but it’s barely that). However, we live extremely close and it would be very easy for him to get to her.
This next piece of context is extremely important!! I have a brother (13) who is special needs. He has a chromosome disorder so rare he’s the only person on earth with it. It’s quite hard to explain, but he needs 24/7 supervision. And he’s not easy to manage. Thankfully, he has a caregiver that helps some days of the week. But on the days he doesn’t, he is a lot for my mother to handle. I help the best I can, but I often feel like I can’t do enough to be a good help after her baby is born.
I am constantly researching things about pregnancy, birth, postpartum, babies, and more. I think instagram thinks i’m expecting at this point. But I’m not, and I’ve never been. I don’t know how to help in ways that are worthwhile. What can I do to truly make my mom as happy as possible? And to make this her best pregnancy experience yet?
I clean and make her breakfast (sometimes on breakfast… i tried to make her a snack yesterday and ended up just wasting food, and it’s things like that that make me wonder if I’m making things worse by trying to help. Maybe i’d just be getting in the way) but for some reason i feel like nothing is enough.
I know there’s only so much I can do. But sometimes i wish I could take the baby and raise him as my own away from her, so she could finally spend part of her just for herself, not taking care of others.
Also, I don’t have my drivers license, and don’t plan on getting it because the drivers where I live are very bad. We got in a car accident last month, and I’ve felt shaken up in the car ever since. I bring that up because it means i can’t go get stuff for her postpartum, unless I use my electric bike. I would like to be able to help in that way, though.
I just graduated high school, so I’ve been getting lots of money. I’ve been trying to either save it or spend it on the baby and my mom. I also have an internship for June that will make me over 1 or 2,000 dollars I can’t remember. I wanted to give it all to her. Maybe pay part of the hospital bill? I know those are really bad.
She’s also been stressed about money, I think. For some reason, her managers won’t give her shifts. Her partner works at the same place, but since he lives with his mom, he isn’t working and is focusing on pharmacy school stuff. Maybe i’m projecting my own feelings, (Because from time to time i resent them for getting pregnant) but i can imagine she’s upset he isn’t thinking ahead to all the things this baby will need.. all the expenses… etc.
Anyway, that was a lot of rambling, sorry. If anyone has advice for me on how to helpful without getting in the way, please let me know. I need it very much, and it’s eternally appreciated. Even if you just list off things people would’ve helped you with when you were pregnant and postpartum.
She doesn’t like me helping because i’m a (her) kid, but it feels like my duty as the eldest. I might update this if i remember more things but for now :) thank you
2024.05.29 06:34 Pipo1660 save.tf issues are holding back the movement.
don't get me wrong, this isn't doomposting, this is just my opinion on the current state of the save.tf website. and while I support the movement and I know the email ratelimit issues are not the organizers fault in any way as its something out of their control, I still believe that choosing to handle signature submissions by themselves instead of using an existing service prepared for such numbers affected the movement negatively.
however, you might say that they're gonna eventually fix the issue and we're all gonna be able to sign the petition eventually, but I believe that due to these issues, many of the growing 83,000+ unconfirmed signatures will remain unconfirmed (not to say, many of those could be people trying different mails or names to try and get around the issue).
just look at this from the POV of someone outside the community: you hear about this movement to fix this game and you can help by just signing a petition, something that shouldn't take more than 2 minutes, so you go to their website, submit your signature, check your email and so you wait... and wait... and continue waiting... eventually you try submitting again but nothing arrives and so you just give up and decide to do something else with your time. and that's another unconfirmed signature.
So far I have tried multiple submissions and different email providers the past 3 days but I and probably many people have yet to receive a confirmation email.
but even if the site started magically working right now, the chances for anyone outside the game to go out of their way to check if the issues have been fixed, resubmit their signing and confirm it are low.
submitted by Pipo1660 to tf2 [link] [comments]
what's the issue?
A lot of people including myself have run into the issue where the confirmation email would never arrive while trying to sign the save.tf petition, this has been an ongoing issue ever since the save.tf website has been made publically accessible, as such, as much as I and many of us would want to sign the petition and help the movement, with the current state of the website, we simply can't.however, you might say that they're gonna eventually fix the issue and we're all gonna be able to sign the petition eventually, but I believe that due to these issues, many of the growing 83,000+ unconfirmed signatures will remain unconfirmed (not to say, many of those could be people trying different mails or names to try and get around the issue).
just look at this from the POV of someone outside the community: you hear about this movement to fix this game and you can help by just signing a petition, something that shouldn't take more than 2 minutes, so you go to their website, submit your signature, check your email and so you wait... and wait... and continue waiting... eventually you try submitting again but nothing arrives and so you just give up and decide to do something else with your time. and that's another unconfirmed signature.
So far I have tried multiple submissions and different email providers the past 3 days but I and probably many people have yet to receive a confirmation email.
how could this be fixed?
unless the organizers find a fix for the ratelimit issues soon, I believe an alternative method for signing the petition should be added, such as a change.org petition, even if it wouldn't add to the number on the site, I believe it is preferable to have a boring looking but working change petition over a fancy but broken petition website.but even if the site started magically working right now, the chances for anyone outside the game to go out of their way to check if the issues have been fixed, resubmit their signing and confirm it are low.
2024.05.29 06:34 StatisticianSuper129 A lot of the time, I wish I could’ve been born someone else tbh
I guess I’m just here venting my feelings because life has been pretty hard lately and I don’t really have anywhere else to go with these thoughts at the moment. Feel free to stay if you can relate to my struggles, or don’t, the choice is yours. 99.9% of the time, it feels like I’m always wishing I could’ve been born into someone else, because I can’t stand how difficult my life has been made to be, and it just feels like too much of a burden to take on. I’m not sure if many other people here can relate to this feeling, but it feels as if I was born to just have a really insufferable and miserable life.
I was born gay, black (technically mixed but by a quarter), and not very good looking if I’m being honest. I grew up in the western US, and ever since I was about twelve, I was bullied for everything someone could be bullied for. The way that I looked, the way i spoke, being black, not being black enough, being occasionally (presumed) gay, etc. I just quite simply never fit anywhere and I was constantly reminded that I’m never good enough. I hated what I saw in the mirror so much to the point where I’d avoid every mirror possible and I would begin to feel resentment towards my family for birthing me into being at the absolute bottom of the social ladder. I know it’s not their fault that the world is the way it is and I do truly love them, but I just couldn’t stand the fact that my life was made incredibly difficult because I was born to them and not a more privileged family that could’ve provided me an easier life. Instead, I was given the burden of being born different in a society that just doesn’t like me for multiple reasons, and it’s now my job to completely change myself so that I can have a chance at a better life.
I spent a lot of time alone as a kid since I always felt insecure about myself, and I would work tirelessly to be more attractive, charming, and endearing so that others would treat me with kindness and respect. Instead of going outside and playing with others in the summer, I spent my summers doing what people now call “looksmaxxing”. I would stay out of the sun because I’d get picked on if I was “too dark”, spend everyday working out, grow my curly hair out to take attention away from my nose which I hated, practicing to hide my “gay voice”, and finding the coolest clothes to wear so people would be impressed with me by the next school year. I would never hang out with my school friends and never go out and just be a kid having fun like others did. I hated myself too much to do anything else because it felt like everyone else hated me or looked down on me for just existing. I just wanted to be someone that could have more in life, but it felt like I’d have to run myself into the ground trying to change enough to actually have a shot.
The sad thing is that this actually would work. With each year that went by in school I became closer to my goals. I was now about as light as Zendaya and more handsome. I hung out with the popular crowd beginning in freshman year of hs and started to feel better about myself because I started to gain recognition. All of this however took a turn when, long story short, I fell in love with my best friend since middle school and he turned on me in sophomore year due to him being closeted. He shut me out, and my other friends didn’t talk to me anymore because he was basically the leader of the popular kids. I switched schools in junior year and fell into a really deep depression that honestly I never fully healed from. I’m 22 now, and I’m honestly pretty messed up because I’ve had such a horrible childhood. I guess you could say I glew up dramatically in the years after hs, but only because I was bullied into basically becoming a different person, and I still feel the need to constantly change things about myself and obsess over my appearance. I don’t know how to get over the things I’ve been through and my life is still shitty today because of trauma and unfavorable circumstances I find myself in.
I see other people who are my same age or (even worse) younger, and I get extremely angry because they have lives that seem so much better than my own; Friendships, relationships, happiness that they didn’t have to slave away for. I envy the ease that life has provided them and the freedom they must feel, while I always feel caged and confined to a life of hardship because I’m me… and they’re them. I want my life to be different, but it feels like the life they have was never meant for someone like me, and I have to spend years of my life trying to be where they were born. It’s so frustrating, and it all just feels like too much to bare. I don’t really know what the point of me writing all of this was, maybe just me letting off steam or reaching out into the void, but If you’re still reading this thanks for sticking around till the end lol. If anyone has any words of encouragement, I could definitely use it right about now because I’m really struggling 😂
submitted by StatisticianSuper129 to gaybros [link] [comments]
I was born gay, black (technically mixed but by a quarter), and not very good looking if I’m being honest. I grew up in the western US, and ever since I was about twelve, I was bullied for everything someone could be bullied for. The way that I looked, the way i spoke, being black, not being black enough, being occasionally (presumed) gay, etc. I just quite simply never fit anywhere and I was constantly reminded that I’m never good enough. I hated what I saw in the mirror so much to the point where I’d avoid every mirror possible and I would begin to feel resentment towards my family for birthing me into being at the absolute bottom of the social ladder. I know it’s not their fault that the world is the way it is and I do truly love them, but I just couldn’t stand the fact that my life was made incredibly difficult because I was born to them and not a more privileged family that could’ve provided me an easier life. Instead, I was given the burden of being born different in a society that just doesn’t like me for multiple reasons, and it’s now my job to completely change myself so that I can have a chance at a better life.
I spent a lot of time alone as a kid since I always felt insecure about myself, and I would work tirelessly to be more attractive, charming, and endearing so that others would treat me with kindness and respect. Instead of going outside and playing with others in the summer, I spent my summers doing what people now call “looksmaxxing”. I would stay out of the sun because I’d get picked on if I was “too dark”, spend everyday working out, grow my curly hair out to take attention away from my nose which I hated, practicing to hide my “gay voice”, and finding the coolest clothes to wear so people would be impressed with me by the next school year. I would never hang out with my school friends and never go out and just be a kid having fun like others did. I hated myself too much to do anything else because it felt like everyone else hated me or looked down on me for just existing. I just wanted to be someone that could have more in life, but it felt like I’d have to run myself into the ground trying to change enough to actually have a shot.
The sad thing is that this actually would work. With each year that went by in school I became closer to my goals. I was now about as light as Zendaya and more handsome. I hung out with the popular crowd beginning in freshman year of hs and started to feel better about myself because I started to gain recognition. All of this however took a turn when, long story short, I fell in love with my best friend since middle school and he turned on me in sophomore year due to him being closeted. He shut me out, and my other friends didn’t talk to me anymore because he was basically the leader of the popular kids. I switched schools in junior year and fell into a really deep depression that honestly I never fully healed from. I’m 22 now, and I’m honestly pretty messed up because I’ve had such a horrible childhood. I guess you could say I glew up dramatically in the years after hs, but only because I was bullied into basically becoming a different person, and I still feel the need to constantly change things about myself and obsess over my appearance. I don’t know how to get over the things I’ve been through and my life is still shitty today because of trauma and unfavorable circumstances I find myself in.
I see other people who are my same age or (even worse) younger, and I get extremely angry because they have lives that seem so much better than my own; Friendships, relationships, happiness that they didn’t have to slave away for. I envy the ease that life has provided them and the freedom they must feel, while I always feel caged and confined to a life of hardship because I’m me… and they’re them. I want my life to be different, but it feels like the life they have was never meant for someone like me, and I have to spend years of my life trying to be where they were born. It’s so frustrating, and it all just feels like too much to bare. I don’t really know what the point of me writing all of this was, maybe just me letting off steam or reaching out into the void, but If you’re still reading this thanks for sticking around till the end lol. If anyone has any words of encouragement, I could definitely use it right about now because I’m really struggling 😂
2024.05.29 06:33 Brave-Relief-6743 Quick Question for Airbnb Hosts About Guest Communication Challenges
Hello Airbnb Host Community,
I'm a software developer currently researching ways to streamline the vacation rental experience for both hosts and guests. I have a few questions I'd appreciate your insights on:
Thank you in advance!
submitted by Brave-Relief-6743 to airbnb_hosts [link] [comments]
I'm a software developer currently researching ways to streamline the vacation rental experience for both hosts and guests. I have a few questions I'd appreciate your insights on:
- What are some of the repetitive or mundane communication tasks you face each time you have a new guest staying at your property? For example, providing check-in instructions, explaining house rules, answering common FAQs, etc.
- Approximately how much time would you estimate you spend responding to guest inquiries and communications during a typical stay? Is this a significant time commitment for you?
- If there was a solution that could automate many of these routine guest communications through an AI-powered chatbot or virtual assistant, do you think that would provide a significant time-saving benefit for you as a host?
Thank you in advance!
2024.05.29 06:30 mrgnstrk Thinking of migrating to the US via F1/student visa route? Start here.
I've commented a few times in a few posts about my family's experience going through the F-1 to H-1B to GC route to migrate to the US and I've received a lot of questions over the DM, many of which I thought were pretty basic. I thought it might be helpful to put this primer together so folks know the right questions to ask and approach their planning more strategically.
This post is going to be very candid. I've noticed that the questions I've received come from misconceptions about higher education, F-1 visa, and what comes after graduation. I want to give folks the right information, but also temper expectations and give a realistic portrait of what it means and takes to use the student pathway to legally and permanently reside in the US. It is not a stroll in the park, and I don't want to give anyone the wrong idea.
Both my siblings are currently in the same pathway. One received their Bachelors last year, was hired before graduation and has recently received approval for her H-1B. Their employer has committed to sponsoring their employment-based green card next year. My other sibling received their MFA last year and is now in the process of getting their O-1, which is a different kind of work visa. Like me, they both came to the US with a student visa. We were all very strategic about the programs we chose and how we approached networking within our industries.
We also prepared for years. I knew I wanted to get my Masters and permanently reside in the US even before I finished college in Manila. My siblings also knew that early on. So as a family we planned for years, including preparing financially because we knew that we had a very slim chance of getting free rides for our planned degrees. Our early planning also helped with our professional decision-making, because we became very strategic about what kinds of jobs we took after graduation in Manila (except our youngest sibling, who did her Bachelors in the US, so her planning revolved around her academic career in high school). I would say from start (initial planning) to finish (with the last sibling also now on the way to permanent residency), it took about a decade.
The first question you should ask yourself: can you afford the student pathway to permanent residency in the US? Higher education in the US is not cheap. Universities very rarely offer full scholarships to Masters programs, and those that do are incredibly competitive. So you cannot depend on scholarships to help you pay for your degree--doing so will likely end in disappointment.
(PhDs are usually free and includes a living stipend, but the application process for PhDs are on a whole other level. I will not cover it here but I can answer any questions related to applying for PhDs.)
Most Masters programs in the US are two-year programs, and the average cost of a Masters degree is around $60,000 per year (source). That's $120,000--almost Php7,000,000--in two years. That is a lot of money. That does not include your cost of living, which depending on the location can vary. I personally spent around $1000 on living expenses every month (housing was through the school, so the cost of that was included in my tuition statement)--and that is living frugally in a very high cost of living city. That's an additional $12,000 per year. Of course, you can lower than number by living with family if that option is available to you.
So on average, you would need around Php4,200,000 per year for your Masters degree. Again, a lot of money. It goes without saying that the student pathway is a very expensive pathway to permanent residency in the US. Can it also be a quicker pathway than, say, being sponsored by a sibling? It can be, but that depends on how long it will take for you to save up for tuition.
What if you can make those numbers work? What else should you know?
I need to put this upfront: the F-1 student visa is a non-immigrant visa. Meaning that it is a visa meant for people who will enter the US on a temporary basis. This is why the student visa has no direct pathway or benefit to permanent residency in the US. You need to change status inside the US to one with immigrant intent or double intent to be able to be on that pathway or receive that benefit. That's where visas like the H-1B visa comes in.
You also cannot work outside of your school on an F-1 visa. During the school year, you are allowed to work part-time on campus, and during the summer you are allowed to work full-time on campus. Work outside of the school is only allowed if it's part of your curriculum (i.e. your program has a class for "onsite internship") and you are allowed to be paid while that opportunity is going on. You can do this part-time, but most legitimate universities will have limited opportunities for this (i.e. under your program you're only allowed to take credit for onsite internships one or two semesters). However, your eligibility to work full-time after getting your degree will be affected if you do this full-time for one year. If you want to jump from F-1 to H-1B, this is not something you want to do.
Your ability to bring dependents to the US on a student visa is also limited. You can only bring your spouse and unmarried children under 21. Dependents of F-1 visa holders are not allowed to work in the US (although children under 21 can go to school full-time). This means your spouse cannot work while in the United States, and that includes working remotely for a company in the Philippines.
The next step starts with you. I've received a good number of DMs asking me "Is Master of ABC the right course for me?" or "Will a Master of DEF get me a green card?" These are not the right questions to ask because they're not going to get you any good answers. Yes, we know the ultimate goal for taking your Masters in the US to get permanent residency. But the true purpose of getting a Masters in the US is to make you highly marketable and competitive to US employers that will be willing to sponsor your work visa and petition you for your permanent residency.
So you need to view this degree as a way to level yourself up professionally. I absolutely do not suggest getting a Masters degree in something "you already know"--the objective is not to coast while spending Php4,200,000 a year--but to be so much better at what you're already doing. Here's an example.
Of course, you should also take into consideration your limitations. For example, you can only go to school in San Diego because you can stay with relatives while you're studying. That means your research is location-limited to however far you think you can commute.
When this is properly done, it should lead you to a place where you have a shortlist of programs to apply to. Each program will have their own application and testing requirements, as well as their own deadlines, so make sure to keep track of that.
PRO TIP: while grades during college are an important part of your application, many graduate programs put a lot of weight on your personal statement and professional recommendation letters. This is why the first step on reflection is critical--it gives you a good direction from which to build your story, which you will need to convince admissions committees to accept you into their programs.
Now it's time to apply for your F-1 visa. Your university will provide you with the documentation you need from them (this is mainly the I-20 and your acceptance letter), but the bulk of the documentation you need to present to the visa officer will mostly come from you. Namely, because the F-1 is a non-immigrant visa, you need to show strong ties to the Philippines. This can take a variety of forms, and oftentimes your mileage may vary especially depending on the school you will be attending (i.e. there will be less scrutiny if you're going to Harvard as compared to a university that's not that known).
If you did not receive a scholarship with your acceptance, you also need to show that you are able to afford the first year of matriculation. So bank statements containing the total amount of tuition, as well as room and board, will be important (usually the I-20 that the university will issue you will include this amount).
At the interview, be polite and only answer the questions asked. Do not offer up information not asked by the visa officer. I suggest you have a ready answer if the visa officer asks you why this particular school and program, but you should have this answer already if you followed my advice about reflecting and researching before applying to programs :)
Visa is approved and on hand! What do I do while I wait to leave for the US?
Networking starts the moment you receive your passport with your F-1 visa. You absolutely cannot and should not waste a single minute of your active student visa, so this is the time you start telling people that you're going to be studying in the US. You need to work your current network and find peers and mentors who will be willing to connect you with colleagues they know who work in the US or have ties to the US in your professional field. Let's go back to Maria Clara as an example.
Other than to make sure you have high grades and you're setting aside time to build professional relationships, it's time to think outside the box. Remember that you are limited by the rules of the F-1 visa, so experiences such as an off-campus summer internship is off limits to you. You will need to find ways to strengthen your resumé that doesn't include working off campus, and that could take many forms. One of the most effective recommendations I've received on this is to do an independent research during the summer--you could do it via a professor whose class you really liked, or if you've made inroads with some of the connections you've been building since getting your visa, have a professor oversee a research project you could do with those connections. (This is still academic work, and many programs will give credit for this, so it is not considered off-campus work under the eyes of USCIS.) You can use your research to really elevate your skills and experiences when applying for jobs.
It's also time to seriously start looking at potential employers. You can use the connections you've built to get a sense of what the professional landscape is for your field, learn about peoples' experiences at various companies and organizations, and get a feel for hiring processes. Remember, you don't have a lot of time to apply for jobs once you near the end of your program, so you have to be armed with the right information to guide your job hunting strategy. You will need to put yourself out there and be the best version of your professional self if you want employers to disregard that they will need to spend more money to hire you rather than a USC or LPR who doesn't need sponsorship.
The last semester is usually job hunting season, so make sure that resumé is polished and your network is activated. By now, if you've done the leg work, you will have a shortlist of potential employers and you will have made connections in most, if not all, of them. Time to check-in and ensure that they know you're interested in joining their company and you'd like their support and guidance in doing so. This is one of the harder parts of this journey, and you have to be relentless. Use all the resources at your disposal to ensure your resumé is seen by as many eyes as possible, and that includes speaking to your professors, especially your favorite ones, so they can also lend a hand.
More importantly: submit your work permit application (more commonly known as OPT) as early as possible to avoid delays and getting stuck in the USCIS backlog. You need this permit to be able to work after graduation for a limited time (one year for graduates of non-STEM programs, with an additional two years for graduates of STEM programs) without needing to immediately require H-1B sponsorship.
Getting employed by a company willing to sponsor you is not the end of the line. All for-profit companies are subject to the H-1B lottery, which means you will be competing with other internationals for the limited number of H-1B visas allotted every year. So even with an employer willing to sponsor, the H-1B visa is still not guaranteed. You can work around this by joining what is a called a cap-exempt organization instead, and USCIS classifies those as institutions of higher education, nonprofit entities related to or affiliated with an institution of higher education, nonprofit research organizations, and governmental research organizations. That means more research, and more targeted strategic networking, given that your employer pool now is limited.
For those still considering the student visa pathway to migrate to the US after reading this very long post--good luck, and may the force be with you.
submitted by mrgnstrk to phmigrate [link] [comments]
This post is going to be very candid. I've noticed that the questions I've received come from misconceptions about higher education, F-1 visa, and what comes after graduation. I want to give folks the right information, but also temper expectations and give a realistic portrait of what it means and takes to use the student pathway to legally and permanently reside in the US. It is not a stroll in the park, and I don't want to give anyone the wrong idea.
BACKGROUND
Two of my siblings plus myself are all here in the US via the student visa route. I received my green card in 2021 after being in the US for nearly 4 years. After receiving my Masters at a prestigious university, I was hired immediately by an organization willing to sponsor my H-1B, which they did so after two years of employment under STEM-OPT work authorization. My employer started putting together my I-140 (Immigrant Petition for Alien Worker, which is the start of the process for an employment-based green card) shortly after receiving approval of my H-1B. As the paperwork was being put together, my partner and I decided to get married and I switched from employment-based green card to marriage-based green card. The employment-based green card would have added around a 3 year wait if we went through with it, while my marriage-based green card was approved in less than a year.Both my siblings are currently in the same pathway. One received their Bachelors last year, was hired before graduation and has recently received approval for her H-1B. Their employer has committed to sponsoring their employment-based green card next year. My other sibling received their MFA last year and is now in the process of getting their O-1, which is a different kind of work visa. Like me, they both came to the US with a student visa. We were all very strategic about the programs we chose and how we approached networking within our industries.
We also prepared for years. I knew I wanted to get my Masters and permanently reside in the US even before I finished college in Manila. My siblings also knew that early on. So as a family we planned for years, including preparing financially because we knew that we had a very slim chance of getting free rides for our planned degrees. Our early planning also helped with our professional decision-making, because we became very strategic about what kinds of jobs we took after graduation in Manila (except our youngest sibling, who did her Bachelors in the US, so her planning revolved around her academic career in high school). I would say from start (initial planning) to finish (with the last sibling also now on the way to permanent residency), it took about a decade.
GETTING STARTED
Is the student pathway the right pathway for you?The first question you should ask yourself: can you afford the student pathway to permanent residency in the US? Higher education in the US is not cheap. Universities very rarely offer full scholarships to Masters programs, and those that do are incredibly competitive. So you cannot depend on scholarships to help you pay for your degree--doing so will likely end in disappointment.
(PhDs are usually free and includes a living stipend, but the application process for PhDs are on a whole other level. I will not cover it here but I can answer any questions related to applying for PhDs.)
Most Masters programs in the US are two-year programs, and the average cost of a Masters degree is around $60,000 per year (source). That's $120,000--almost Php7,000,000--in two years. That is a lot of money. That does not include your cost of living, which depending on the location can vary. I personally spent around $1000 on living expenses every month (housing was through the school, so the cost of that was included in my tuition statement)--and that is living frugally in a very high cost of living city. That's an additional $12,000 per year. Of course, you can lower than number by living with family if that option is available to you.
So on average, you would need around Php4,200,000 per year for your Masters degree. Again, a lot of money. It goes without saying that the student pathway is a very expensive pathway to permanent residency in the US. Can it also be a quicker pathway than, say, being sponsored by a sibling? It can be, but that depends on how long it will take for you to save up for tuition.
What if you can make those numbers work? What else should you know?
I need to put this upfront: the F-1 student visa is a non-immigrant visa. Meaning that it is a visa meant for people who will enter the US on a temporary basis. This is why the student visa has no direct pathway or benefit to permanent residency in the US. You need to change status inside the US to one with immigrant intent or double intent to be able to be on that pathway or receive that benefit. That's where visas like the H-1B visa comes in.
You also cannot work outside of your school on an F-1 visa. During the school year, you are allowed to work part-time on campus, and during the summer you are allowed to work full-time on campus. Work outside of the school is only allowed if it's part of your curriculum (i.e. your program has a class for "onsite internship") and you are allowed to be paid while that opportunity is going on. You can do this part-time, but most legitimate universities will have limited opportunities for this (i.e. under your program you're only allowed to take credit for onsite internships one or two semesters). However, your eligibility to work full-time after getting your degree will be affected if you do this full-time for one year. If you want to jump from F-1 to H-1B, this is not something you want to do.
Your ability to bring dependents to the US on a student visa is also limited. You can only bring your spouse and unmarried children under 21. Dependents of F-1 visa holders are not allowed to work in the US (although children under 21 can go to school full-time). This means your spouse cannot work while in the United States, and that includes working remotely for a company in the Philippines.
APPLYING TO PROGRAMS
The student visa still seems like my best option. What's next?The next step starts with you. I've received a good number of DMs asking me "Is Master of ABC the right course for me?" or "Will a Master of DEF get me a green card?" These are not the right questions to ask because they're not going to get you any good answers. Yes, we know the ultimate goal for taking your Masters in the US to get permanent residency. But the true purpose of getting a Masters in the US is to make you highly marketable and competitive to US employers that will be willing to sponsor your work visa and petition you for your permanent residency.
So you need to view this degree as a way to level yourself up professionally. I absolutely do not suggest getting a Masters degree in something "you already know"--the objective is not to coast while spending Php4,200,000 a year--but to be so much better at what you're already doing. Here's an example.
Maria Clara graduated from Accounting at a good university in Manila and now has around 2 years of experience as a CPA at the finance and accounting department at a multinational corporation based in Makati. She wants to get her permanent residency to the US via the student pathway and has done a significant amount of research on possible Masters programs and career paths in accounting in the US. She started reading into forensic accounting and realized how interested she is in various aspects of this career path. After looking through universities and programs, she has put SUNY Albany's MS in Forensic Science at the top of her list for a variety of reasons. One, it meets the education requirements for certified public accountant licensure in the state of New York. Two, even without a scholarship of financial aid, the costs for international students is not exorbitant at $23,000/Php1,320,000 for the year-long program--with some frugal living and help from relatives in the US, she can save that amount in 3-4 years. Three, New York is the center of global commerce--all the biggest companies and their accounting firms are either headquartered or have large offices in New York City, so she has a wide swath of employment options. Now she just has to get her ducks in a row and make sure her Bachelors meets the requirements for application, as well as put together a shortlist of other programs she should apply and create a timeline for herself and the milestones that need to be hit to make this dream a reality.Bottomline is, your starting point in this entire process is reflection and research. You need to reflect on your own professional experience and skills, as well as your interests. You need to figure out which pathway will give you that professional and technical boost and do your research on available programs at reputable universities, what the job market looks like for your target profession, which companies are known to hire in this space.
Of course, you should also take into consideration your limitations. For example, you can only go to school in San Diego because you can stay with relatives while you're studying. That means your research is location-limited to however far you think you can commute.
When this is properly done, it should lead you to a place where you have a shortlist of programs to apply to. Each program will have their own application and testing requirements, as well as their own deadlines, so make sure to keep track of that.
PRO TIP: while grades during college are an important part of your application, many graduate programs put a lot of weight on your personal statement and professional recommendation letters. This is why the first step on reflection is critical--it gives you a good direction from which to build your story, which you will need to convince admissions committees to accept you into their programs.
ACCEPTANCE
I got into one of my top programs and I have my finances in order! What happens now?Now it's time to apply for your F-1 visa. Your university will provide you with the documentation you need from them (this is mainly the I-20 and your acceptance letter), but the bulk of the documentation you need to present to the visa officer will mostly come from you. Namely, because the F-1 is a non-immigrant visa, you need to show strong ties to the Philippines. This can take a variety of forms, and oftentimes your mileage may vary especially depending on the school you will be attending (i.e. there will be less scrutiny if you're going to Harvard as compared to a university that's not that known).
If you did not receive a scholarship with your acceptance, you also need to show that you are able to afford the first year of matriculation. So bank statements containing the total amount of tuition, as well as room and board, will be important (usually the I-20 that the university will issue you will include this amount).
At the interview, be polite and only answer the questions asked. Do not offer up information not asked by the visa officer. I suggest you have a ready answer if the visa officer asks you why this particular school and program, but you should have this answer already if you followed my advice about reflecting and researching before applying to programs :)
Visa is approved and on hand! What do I do while I wait to leave for the US?
Networking starts the moment you receive your passport with your F-1 visa. You absolutely cannot and should not waste a single minute of your active student visa, so this is the time you start telling people that you're going to be studying in the US. You need to work your current network and find peers and mentors who will be willing to connect you with colleagues they know who work in the US or have ties to the US in your professional field. Let's go back to Maria Clara as an example.
Finally, after years of hard work, Maria Clara has her desired acceptance into SUNY's MS in Forensic Accounting program, and her F-1 visa was approved by the embassy without any issues. After celebrating with her family, she lets her boss know about her visa approval, who has been one of her most ardent cheerleaders during this entire process. Her boss has also offered to introduce her to their counterparts in the US once she got her visa approved, which is really important to Maria Clara--she knows she needs to get ahead of networking professionally since her time in the US is limited. She has also reached out to other people she knows in the company that engage frequently with teams in the US. She's messaged her college professors as well, as she knows that a number of alumni from her college have migrated to the US. Her plan is to get connected with as many professionals in her field as possible, connect with them in person once she's in the US, and build a rapport with as many connections as possible so she can be guided accordingly and stand out when the time to apply for jobs comes.Remember that unlike US citizens (USC) and legal permanent residents (LPR), your time in the US is limited and bound by the rules set by your visa. So you have to be creative and get ahead in some way. You need to be more prepared and more strategic than USCs and LPRs because you simply do not have the time to dilly dally. Yes, enjoy and savor in the moment of seeing the fruits of your labor, but the hard part begins now. You simply do not have time to waste.
DURING THE PROGRAM
I'm in the US now and working harder than ever! Is there anything more I can do to set myself apart from others?Other than to make sure you have high grades and you're setting aside time to build professional relationships, it's time to think outside the box. Remember that you are limited by the rules of the F-1 visa, so experiences such as an off-campus summer internship is off limits to you. You will need to find ways to strengthen your resumé that doesn't include working off campus, and that could take many forms. One of the most effective recommendations I've received on this is to do an independent research during the summer--you could do it via a professor whose class you really liked, or if you've made inroads with some of the connections you've been building since getting your visa, have a professor oversee a research project you could do with those connections. (This is still academic work, and many programs will give credit for this, so it is not considered off-campus work under the eyes of USCIS.) You can use your research to really elevate your skills and experiences when applying for jobs.
It's also time to seriously start looking at potential employers. You can use the connections you've built to get a sense of what the professional landscape is for your field, learn about peoples' experiences at various companies and organizations, and get a feel for hiring processes. Remember, you don't have a lot of time to apply for jobs once you near the end of your program, so you have to be armed with the right information to guide your job hunting strategy. You will need to put yourself out there and be the best version of your professional self if you want employers to disregard that they will need to spend more money to hire you rather than a USC or LPR who doesn't need sponsorship.
LAST SEMESTER AND GRADUATION
I'm in my last semester of my program! Any tips?The last semester is usually job hunting season, so make sure that resumé is polished and your network is activated. By now, if you've done the leg work, you will have a shortlist of potential employers and you will have made connections in most, if not all, of them. Time to check-in and ensure that they know you're interested in joining their company and you'd like their support and guidance in doing so. This is one of the harder parts of this journey, and you have to be relentless. Use all the resources at your disposal to ensure your resumé is seen by as many eyes as possible, and that includes speaking to your professors, especially your favorite ones, so they can also lend a hand.
More importantly: submit your work permit application (more commonly known as OPT) as early as possible to avoid delays and getting stuck in the USCIS backlog. You need this permit to be able to work after graduation for a limited time (one year for graduates of non-STEM programs, with an additional two years for graduates of STEM programs) without needing to immediately require H-1B sponsorship.
Getting employed by a company willing to sponsor you is not the end of the line. All for-profit companies are subject to the H-1B lottery, which means you will be competing with other internationals for the limited number of H-1B visas allotted every year. So even with an employer willing to sponsor, the H-1B visa is still not guaranteed. You can work around this by joining what is a called a cap-exempt organization instead, and USCIS classifies those as institutions of higher education, nonprofit entities related to or affiliated with an institution of higher education, nonprofit research organizations, and governmental research organizations. That means more research, and more targeted strategic networking, given that your employer pool now is limited.
EPILOGUE
The student visa is not an easy or cheap pathway to permanent residency in the US. It is getting harder and harder to beat out USCs and LPRs for great jobs in companies that have the experience and resources to sponsor H-1Bs and GCs. You need to do your research every step of the way and prepare to do some really grueling work in order to be the better investment for these companies. Plus, there is the luck element of the H-1B lottery. But it's not impossible. It can and does happen--my family is a great example of it (we're 3 for 3 in this pathway now). Your preparation and willingness to go the extra mile is critical, and you have to be ready to grind for a while. Rest often only comes when the green card is approved.For those still considering the student visa pathway to migrate to the US after reading this very long post--good luck, and may the force be with you.
2024.05.29 06:30 a_winters_day I’m about to turn 18, and my single-ish mom is 29 weeks pregnant. How do I help her as much as possible?
advice pregnancy
I’m not quite sure how to start this, but the main goal of this post is to hopefully gain some advice on how to be as much as a help to my mother (39F) as possible, through her third trimester and past postpartum.
For some context, this baby will be my mother’s fourth child, however, he’s her first child with her current boyfriend (35?M). The rest of us have the same father who she was married to for around 18 years, until a few years ago. She has been with her current partner for two years. (Their anniversary was recently)
My father was quite abusive and my mom was left to do most things regarding us children alone, as a very young woman.
I do not want this pregnancy to be anything like that. However, I’m not sure that her current partner is completely ready for this father role. Which is fair, considering this is his first child and this was an accidental pregnancy.
He has yet to move in with us, which I am sure my mother is concerned about, because he has had since December to do so and it is now late May. He is a slow person in general and takes his time, but my mother has expressed to him many times that she would like for him to be moved in as soon as possible. He lives with his mom and brother as a caregiver figure of sorts for his mother (To give him so grace… but it’s barely that). However, we live extremely close and it would be very easy for him to get to her.
This next piece of context is extremely important!! I have a brother (13) who is special needs. He has a chromosome disorder so rare he’s the only person on earth with it. It’s quite hard to explain, but he needs 24/7 supervision. And he’s not easy to manage. Thankfully, he has a caregiver that helps some days of the week. But on the days he doesn’t, he is a lot for my mother to handle. I help the best I can, but I often feel like I can’t do enough to be a good help after her baby is born.
I am constantly researching things about pregnancy, birth, postpartum, babies, and more. I think instagram thinks i’m expecting at this point. But I’m not, and I’ve never been. I don’t know how to help in ways that are worthwhile. What can I do to truly make my mom as happy as possible? And to make this her best pregnancy experience yet?
I clean and make her breakfast (sometimes on breakfast… i tried to make her a snack yesterday and ended up just wasting food, and it’s things like that that make me wonder if I’m making things worse by trying to help. Maybe i’d just be getting in the way) but for some reason i feel like nothing is enough.
I know there’s only so much I can do. But sometimes i wish I could take the baby and raise him as my own away from her, so she could finally spend part of her just for herself, not taking care of others.
Also, I don’t have my drivers license, and don’t plan on getting it because the drivers where I live are very bad. We got in a car accident last month, and I’ve felt shaken up in the car ever since. I bring that up because it means i can’t go get stuff for her postpartum, unless I use my electric bike. I would like to be able to help in that way, though.
I just graduated high school, so I’ve been getting lots of money. I’ve been trying to either save it or spend it on the baby and my mom. I also have an internship for June that will make me over 1 or 2,000 dollars I can’t remember. I wanted to give it all to her. Maybe pay part of the hospital bill? I know those are really bad.
She’s also been stressed about money, I think. For some reason, her managers won’t give her shifts. Her partner works at the same place, but since he lives with his mom, he isn’t working and is focusing on pharmacy school stuff. Maybe i’m projecting my own feelings, (Because from time to time i resent them for getting pregnant) but i can imagine she’s upset he isn’t thinking ahead to all the things this baby will need.. all the expenses… etc.
Anyway, that was a lot of rambling, sorry. If anyone has advice for me on how to helpful without getting in the way, please let me know. I need it very much, and it’s eternally appreciated. Even if you just list off things people would’ve helped you with when you were pregnant and postpartum.
She doesn’t like me helping because i’m a (her) kid, but it feels like my duty as the eldest. I might update this if i remember more things but for now :) thank you
submitted by a_winters_day to u/a_winters_day [link] [comments]
I’m not quite sure how to start this, but the main goal of this post is to hopefully gain some advice on how to be as much as a help to my mother (39F) as possible, through her third trimester and past postpartum.
For some context, this baby will be my mother’s fourth child, however, he’s her first child with her current boyfriend (35?M). The rest of us have the same father who she was married to for around 18 years, until a few years ago. She has been with her current partner for two years. (Their anniversary was recently)
My father was quite abusive and my mom was left to do most things regarding us children alone, as a very young woman.
I do not want this pregnancy to be anything like that. However, I’m not sure that her current partner is completely ready for this father role. Which is fair, considering this is his first child and this was an accidental pregnancy.
He has yet to move in with us, which I am sure my mother is concerned about, because he has had since December to do so and it is now late May. He is a slow person in general and takes his time, but my mother has expressed to him many times that she would like for him to be moved in as soon as possible. He lives with his mom and brother as a caregiver figure of sorts for his mother (To give him so grace… but it’s barely that). However, we live extremely close and it would be very easy for him to get to her.
This next piece of context is extremely important!! I have a brother (13) who is special needs. He has a chromosome disorder so rare he’s the only person on earth with it. It’s quite hard to explain, but he needs 24/7 supervision. And he’s not easy to manage. Thankfully, he has a caregiver that helps some days of the week. But on the days he doesn’t, he is a lot for my mother to handle. I help the best I can, but I often feel like I can’t do enough to be a good help after her baby is born.
I am constantly researching things about pregnancy, birth, postpartum, babies, and more. I think instagram thinks i’m expecting at this point. But I’m not, and I’ve never been. I don’t know how to help in ways that are worthwhile. What can I do to truly make my mom as happy as possible? And to make this her best pregnancy experience yet?
I clean and make her breakfast (sometimes on breakfast… i tried to make her a snack yesterday and ended up just wasting food, and it’s things like that that make me wonder if I’m making things worse by trying to help. Maybe i’d just be getting in the way) but for some reason i feel like nothing is enough.
I know there’s only so much I can do. But sometimes i wish I could take the baby and raise him as my own away from her, so she could finally spend part of her just for herself, not taking care of others.
Also, I don’t have my drivers license, and don’t plan on getting it because the drivers where I live are very bad. We got in a car accident last month, and I’ve felt shaken up in the car ever since. I bring that up because it means i can’t go get stuff for her postpartum, unless I use my electric bike. I would like to be able to help in that way, though.
I just graduated high school, so I’ve been getting lots of money. I’ve been trying to either save it or spend it on the baby and my mom. I also have an internship for June that will make me over 1 or 2,000 dollars I can’t remember. I wanted to give it all to her. Maybe pay part of the hospital bill? I know those are really bad.
She’s also been stressed about money, I think. For some reason, her managers won’t give her shifts. Her partner works at the same place, but since he lives with his mom, he isn’t working and is focusing on pharmacy school stuff. Maybe i’m projecting my own feelings, (Because from time to time i resent them for getting pregnant) but i can imagine she’s upset he isn’t thinking ahead to all the things this baby will need.. all the expenses… etc.
Anyway, that was a lot of rambling, sorry. If anyone has advice for me on how to helpful without getting in the way, please let me know. I need it very much, and it’s eternally appreciated. Even if you just list off things people would’ve helped you with when you were pregnant and postpartum.
She doesn’t like me helping because i’m a (her) kid, but it feels like my duty as the eldest. I might update this if i remember more things but for now :) thank you
2024.05.29 06:30 GhoulGriin Best 30mm Qd Scope Mount
 | submitted by GhoulGriin to u/GhoulGriin [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/drpub08fma3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=efa32e78891e668a1e2c244bdee73e3e2086e0e2 Welcome to our comprehensive roundup on the 30mm QD Scope Mount! If you're a sports enthusiast, a hunter, or simply someone who seeks precision in their aim, this article has got you covered. We've handpicked a range of top-tier 30mm QD Scope Mounts to ensure that you make the most informed decision when choosing one for your next endeavor. Dive into our in-depth reviews and comparisons to find the perfect companion for all your shooting adventures. The Top 15 Best 30mm Qd Scope Mount
Reviews🔗Fast QD Design Picatinny Sling Mount for M Lok Handguardshttps://preview.redd.it/gw55tlqfma3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2aad2f7935e7b64d44da01b944c3bf1a9084752d As I was scouring the market for a stylish picatinny sling mount, I stumbled across the Allen Citadel Tactical QD Picatinny to QD Black 10846. I was immediately drawn to its sleek design and time-tested rugged manufacturing. The black aesthetic blended perfectly with my weapon and added an authentic touch to my outfit. The fast QD design for M Lok handguards was a game-changer for me. It made it incredibly easy to detach and reattach my weapon as needed. The use of the push button QD swivel allowed for a smooth and secure attachment to my weapon, without causing any damage to the sling mount. It was like having a reliable and efficient partner by my side during my outdoor adventures. However, I did notice that the Allen Citadel Tactical QD Picatinny to QD Black 10846 was a bit bulky, which made it slightly more challenging to store when not in use. While this was not a major issue, it would have been great if the designers had found a way to make it more compact. Overall, this Allen sling mount proved to be a reliable and functional companion during my adventures. Its black finish complemented the look of my weapon and made it stand out without being too ostentatious. I appreciate the fast QD design as well as the push button QD swivel. Despite the slight inconvenience of its bulkiness, this Allen Citadel Tactical QD Picatinny to QD Black 10846 is well-suited for outdoors enthusiasts and gun lovers alike. 🔗45-Degree Offset Rail Mount for Tactical Accessorieshttps://preview.redd.it/xzgjbfagma3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=82f20df5dad720c8154e67b28ecbab8c195d8aa2 Imagine you're in the heat of the moment, aiming down the sights of your rifle, trying to take out a target from around the corner. This is where the NcSTAR Mount shines. Its 45-degree offset angle allows you to mount your lasers, flashlights, or red dot sights at just the right angle for a clear view down the barrel. The offset canted design of the mount adds a level of versatility that's not often found in other mounts. It eliminates interference with vertical grips, hand guards, optics, and other accessories, making it perfect for a wide range of uses. Plus, the ergonomic design gives easy access to on/off switches for your accessories, which is a game-changer when you're in the thick of it. But let's not forget the solid construction. The NcSTAR Mount is made from hard-anodized aluminum, which not only adds strength to the mount but also makes it resistant to corrosion. And the single-slotted thumb nut secures the mount to Weaver Style or Picatinny rails quickly and easily. The NcSTAR Mount isn't just a device, it's a tool that could give you the edge you need in tense situations. It's a reliable, solid piece of equipment that's easy to use and a pleasure to work with. And the reviews from other users certainly back this up - they've praised its quality, price, and performance. So, if you're looking for a reliable, dependable, and versatile mount, the NcSTAR Mount is definitely worth considering. 🔗Specialized Swat Black Computer Mount for Lightweight SWAT Tool Kithttps://preview.redd.it/4tcq4bpgma3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7d6c96e95acc87a374c2238c1ebe3c124f92877d I had the chance to try out the Granite Tool Design Scope Computer Mount, specifically made for Specialized SWAT Black bikes. When I first received it, I was intrigued by how lightweight this mount was, weighing just 15g. It certainly didn't slow me down during my rides. One of the unique features of this mount is that it's easy to install at home without needing any specialist tools. Plus, it didn't interfere with the SWAT system, which is a definite plus! However, one downside I noticed was the compatibility - it's only made for Specialized bikes with the SWAT concealed transport tool kit. Overall, the Granite Tool Design Scope Computer Mount is a good choice for those looking for a lightweight, easy-to-install mount for their computer on their Specialized bike. If you don't fit the compatibility criteria, it might not be worth it for you. 🔗Sons of Liberty Quick Detach M-LOK QD Sockethttps://preview.redd.it/qc24co4hma3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0d5f0984cdb51a9dca0efcbe6996645c42f158e8 I've been using the Solgw Aluminum M-LOK QD Socket Black for my sling and it has become my go-to accessory. The sleek black finish adds a touch of sophistication, while the lightweight yet strong design ensures that it won't fail me when I need it most. The positive lock up mechanism allows me to secure it with confidence, even in the roughest terrain. However, the one downside I've noticed is that it can be a bit tricky to attach or detach at times due to the QD mechanism. Overall, this socket has proven to be a reliable addition to my daily gear setup. 🔗Explore Scientific Mini Scope Mount for Telescopeshttps://preview.redd.it/hd7mh5hhma3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7dedad265807a1399d8d7f3ff385ab0d0d8b6798 As a stargazing enthusiast, I recently tried the Explore Scientific Finder Scope Base and was astounded by how convenient and reliable it was. It's the perfect addition to any telescope, providing a stable base for mounting the finder scope of your choice. The highlight of this product, for me, was the ease of installation. It literally took me a few minutes to set it up, thanks to the provided mounting screws. The knurled knobs on the base really make locking the finder into place a breeze. However, it's not all smooth sailing. One inconvenience was the lack of lock washers in the box which, although not a deal-breaker, would have been a nice addition for added security. Overall, the Explore Scientific Finder Scope Base was a pleasant surprise in terms of functionality and ease. Despite a minor hiccup, it's a winner in my book for those who enjoy stargazing and want their equipment to be secure and robust. 🔗Reptilia Flat Dark Earth 34mm Mini 14 Scope Mounthttps://preview.redd.it/nnjoui2ima3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ea6d4a2875d0337ef1dc6f528c74084f2838959b I recently had the opportunity to try out the Reptilia Aus Mount, a 34mm scope mount with a Flat Dark Earth finish. This bad boy boasts an anodized finish that adds a touch of durability and style to your setup. The mount is designed for a bore height of 100-155, making it a versatile choice for various rifles. Using the Reptilia Aus Mount in my daily life has been a breeze. The sleek design fits seamlessly with my Mini 14 setup, and the secure locking mechanism ensures that the scope stays firmly in place. One thing that stood out to me was the anodized finish, which not only looks great but also provides protection against the elements. However, there were a couple of minor drawbacks. Firstly, the installation process could have been a bit easier, especially for beginners. And secondly, the price point might be a bit steep for some users. All in all, if you're looking for a high-quality scope mount with a stylish finish and great durability, the Reptilia Aus Mount is definitely worth considering. Just make sure you're comfortable with the installation process and are willing to invest in a top-tier product. 🔗5.5" Quick Detach Scope Mount for Aimpoint Micro Footprinthttps://preview.redd.it/czvwcjhima3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1b602e0772ba24124085c2182deee3bb07ab4381 I've been using the Reptilia ROF-90 for a while now, and let me tell you, it has made a real difference in my shooting experience. This quick detach scope mount fits seamlessly with the Aimpoint Micro footprint and even works perfectly for my 30mm optic. The anodized black finish not only looks sleek but also blends well with my rifle's overall appearance. It's amazing how much it enhances my accuracy on the range. The only drawback I found was that it felt a bit heavier than some other mounts, but overall, it's a small price to pay for the added stability it provides during my shots. 🔗Quick-Transition 30mm QD Optic Mounthttps://preview.redd.it/b645drwima3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c20af691a142c7d8813b03fed58954964447ccfb Whenever I hit the range with my trusty Super Precision 30mm optic mount, I've grown to rely on the Reptilia ROF-90 30mm APNT Micro. With its drop-in upgrade, I've found it a reliable addition for my tactical setup. This 30mm quick detach scope mount offers a mounting point at 90 degrees, allowing for a swift transition to my AIMPOINT Micro when I need to engage at close range. It's a versatile piece of gear that's never let me down. 🔗High-Quality 30mm QD Scope Mount with Anodized Finishhttps://preview.redd.it/rwvi4lljma3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2aea9d64af5a4ae197e9096efe050b5556d312c4 AUS Mount from Reptilia, for 30mm diameter magnified optics, is a beautifully crafted piece of machinery. This product is the result of a 2-year development program and it truly shows in its design and functionality. The finish, an Anodized Flat Dark Earth, gives it a sleek look that blends well with various M1913 Picatinny rails it can be attached to. This AUS Mount stands out due to the custom bolt mounting system with an anti-snag, spring-loaded, nitrided steel clamp. The clamp can be tightened using either a 5/32 hex or a flat blade driver for a low-profile, streamline design. The single piece of billet 7075-T6 aluminum, which it is made from, is further enhanced with the MIL-STD Type III Class 2 hard anodize coating. The AUS Mount is compatible with all of Reptilia's existing 30mm ROF line and will also work with several new ROF products launching soon. Despite its robust build and advanced tech, it is surprisingly lightweight and compatible with different optic configurations. While there is no denying the AUS Mount's capabilities and aesthetic appeal, users might still find the price a bit steep. Overall, this product is worth the price tag for those who prioritize high precision, durability, and a stylish touch in their magnified optics. 🔗Precision Scope Mounting Kit for Marlin 336https://preview.redd.it/ozkhbzjkma3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=32fa05013864f1720995d1a72ab1c78ab95257b6 I recently had the chance to try out the Wheeler Scope Mounting Kit Combo, and I must say, it provided a smooth experience while mounting my scope. The highlight feature that stood out for me was the "F. A. T. Wrench Torque Screwdriver" – it allowed me to tighten screws with a precision that I haven't experienced before. The wrench-bit set was easy to use, and the 10 bits provided made it a versatile tool for any mounting setup. However, there were a couple of drawbacks that I encountered during my experience. The level-level-level didn't quite live up to my expectations. Although it was functional, it could have been more precise, making it easier to achieve a level scope. Additionally, the plastic case for the set was a bit flimsy, which wasn't ideal for storage and transport. Overall, the Wheeler Scope Mounting Kit Combo proved to be a helpful tool for securing and aligning my scope. While there were a few issues, such as the subpar level and case quality, the positive aspects like the F. A. T. Wrench Torque Screwdriver made it a worthwhile investment. 🔗High-Quality 30mm Quick-Detach Scope Mounthttps://preview.redd.it/tnxiehwkma3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c9ec6425a18a33e8c36cb6cfa1bf8040619fcba1 As a hunter, I often find myself in need of a durable and adaptable scope mount. Recently, I stumbled across the Samson Rapid Precision Mount, a 30mm Qd Scope Mount by Samson Manufacturing Corp. This black beauty grabbed my attention, and I decided to give it a try. Upon first glance, I was impressed by its sleek design and solid construction. Easily attaching to my rifle, it proved to be a reliable addition to my hunting gear. Its adjustable height was a game-changer, allowing for a clear and accurate view of my targets. However, I did notice a minor issue when adjusting the elevation - it felt slightly sticky. Despite this minor hiccup, the Samson Rapid Precision Mount exceeded my expectations in terms of durability and flexibility. Its ability to lock securely in place while still being easy to adjust made it a well-rounded contender for any hunting expedition. However, those with tight budgets may find their wallets reluctant to part ways with the premium price tag. Overall, the Samson Rapid Precision Mount is a top-notch choice for hunters seeking a robust and adjustable 30mm Qd Scope Mount. Despite the minor issue with the adjustment, this versatile mount has proven to be a reliable companion on my hunting adventures. 🔗Trijicon Q-LOC 30mm Cantilever Scope Mount with Black Anodized Finishhttps://preview.redd.it/bxzz5lalma3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4a8b12d6081fbd9acb74cb1c5f087163787e86c1 As a reviewer, I tested the Trijicon Cantilever Mount, Q-Loc, 30mm, Anodized Finish, Black, 1.93" Bore Height AC22051. It impressed me right off the bat with its sleek black anodized finish, which perfectly blended with my riflescope. This mount is solid and secure, providing a dependable hold even when I took aim under recoil. Yet, it stands out for its quick-release function. With a simple quarter-turn motion, I was able to detach and re-attach it effortlessly. The Q-Loc feature makes it incredibly convenient for frequent adjustments or storage. The Trijicon Cantilever Mount does have one downside: it's slightly heavier than some of its competitors. But overall, it was a reliable and functional addition to my setup. 🔗Versatile ABS Spotting Scope Mount Adapter for Binoculars, Monoculars, Field Observation, and Morehttps://preview.redd.it/6onsz0nlma3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=84f5f5538119d4590234439f5896b051fe588c94 I recently tried out this versatile PH Adapter Mount Clip Bracket for my photography needs. The durable and stable rubber holder allowed me to easily switch between different mobile devices, and its size adjustability was quite helpful. One thing that stood out was the curved groove design, which effectively stabilized my mobile phone while preventing it from getting stuck. The shielding design connected to the tripod helped avoid light leakage, which is a crucial factor in photography. The wide range of application made it suitable not only for spotting scopes and binoculars but also for field observation and appreciation. The adjustable focus and tightness made it easy to imagine and use in various situations. While the ABS material is solid, it's essential to note that there might be slight errors due to manual measurement and monitors. Overall, I'm happy with the purchase and would recommend it to others looking for a stable, versatile option for their photography needs. Buyer's GuideTo find the perfect 30mm QD scope mount, you should consider some specific features and aspects such as size, weight, durability, compatibility, ease of use, and price. In this buyer's guide, you will learn about the essential factors to take into account when choosing a 30mm QD scope mount to suit your needs. Remember, the aim is to make an informed decision that will enhance your shooting experience or enhance the aesthetics of your rifle. https://preview.redd.it/jzhsl10nma3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4632bea38f8d76cba0aa22963fec9f02721d6f55 Size and WeightWhen buying a 30mm QD scope mount, you ought to consider the size and weight that will not negatively impact your weapon's balance or the overall functionality of the scope mount. A lightweight yet sturdy mount will not affect your rifle's accuracy or weight distribution, making your experience with the scope mount more comfortable. Make sure you check the specs provided by the manufacturers to ensure the mount is light enough for your liking and still provides the required stability for your scope.DurabilityA 30mm QD scope mount needs to be built with durability in mind. This means that you should look for mounts made of quality materials that will withstand the rigors of outdoor usage, provide consistent accuracy, and have a good level of resistance to wear and tear, giving you value for money. Opt for mounts that are designed with precision engineering and made from materials such as aluminum, steel, or titanium, which offer durability and reliability. https://preview.redd.it/gixcg6cnma3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b63773a024c2eac7610dd26d5e7da17f2fc340e7 CompatibilityBefore purchasing a 30mm QD scope mount, it is crucial to verify that it is compatible with your desired scope, rifle, and turret assembly. Check the manufacturer's specifications or consult with a knowledgeable person to ensure it fits your firearm correctly and securely. This will help prevent scope creep and maintain the scope's zero setting while in use.Ease of UseThe best 30mm QD scope mount is one that is easy to install, remove, and adjust your scope. Look for mounts with Quick-Detach (QD) mechanisms that enable a swift and simple action without requiring any tools, thus reducing setup time and increasing convenience. This would save you time and effort, especially if you frequently switch between scopes or need to use different weapons. https://preview.redd.it/8ui4qkrnma3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=80476fe70b1ef5c805d437e7dab4e61bb964a34c PriceThe price of a 30mm QD scope mount depends on factors such as the materials used, design, brand reputation, and additional features. Set a budget that suits your requirements and preferences, but do not compromise on the quality of the mount. Research various brands and models to compare prices and features, as this will help you make a more informed decision.Additional FeaturesSome 30mm QD scope mounts come with additional features and customization options, such as adjustable cant or windage dials, which can further enhance accuracy. Other features, such as anti-glare or fog-resistant coatings, can improve visibility in outdoor conditions. Consider these extra features when selecting your mount to optimize its performance and suitability for your hunting or shooting activities.By following this buyer's guide and weighing the importance of crucial features for a 30mm QD scope mount, you will have a comprehensive understanding when choosing the perfect mount for your needs. With the right selection, you will enjoy the added convenience and improved accuracy that come with a high-quality scope mount. https://preview.redd.it/jxde0e3oma3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9e2c2ad0d06f58df5d4b580018ee9022db1da323 FAQHow do I choose the right 30mm Qd Scope Mount for my needs?The first step is to consider the type of shooting or hunting you will be doing with your rifle scope. Various 30mm Qd Scope Mounts are designed for different purposes. Mounts designed for tactical shooting usually have sturdy, rugged construction, while those made for long-range shooting often feature adjustable height and tilt. If you plan on using the scope for both purposes, look for a versatile mount with a lot of adjustment options.What is the main difference between 30mm Qd Scope Mounts and 1-inch scope mounts?The main difference is the diameter of the scope ring. The 30mm diameter suits larger rifle scopes with larger objectives, which can provide a wider field of view and better light gathering capabilities. On the other hand, a 1-inch scope mount is more suitable for smaller rifle scopes, which are typically preferred for shorter-ranged target shooting or hunting.What is the difference between "Quick Detach" and "Permanent" 30mm Qd Scope Mounts?Quick Detach (QD) mounts allow the scope to be easily removed from the rifle, which can be convenient for switching scopes or during transportation. These mounts use a lever or knob to release the scope from the rifle. In contrast, Permanent mounts are designed to be fixed in place and are not meant to be removed without disassembling the scope mount.What are some features to look for in a high-quality 30mm Qd Scope Mount?
Are there any downsides to using a 30mm Qd Scope Mount?While there are many benefits to using a 30mm Qd Scope Mount, they can be heavier and bulkier compared to 1-inch scope mounts. This can be an issue for shooters who value portability or need to travel light, as extra weight can affect the overall balance and handling of the rifle. Additionally, high-quality 30mm Qd Scope Mounts can be more expensive than 1-inch scope mounts.As an Amazon™ Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. |
2024.05.29 06:28 dontkry4me Jim Cramer Dubs GigaCloud’s Story As ‘Unnecessarily Fraught’
 | This is the author's opinion only, not financial advice, and is intended for entertainment purposes only. submitted by dontkry4me to wallstreetbets [link] [comments] There's no denying that the name GigaCloud Technology is a bit misleading, as the fast-growing B2B e-commerce and logistics company has nothing to do with cloud computing. Anyway, I don't have much of a problem with this fast growing company: I am convinced by the concept of handling the delivery of bulky goods from East Asia to Western countries, thus simplifying the trade of furniture and so on. With its success, GigaCloud once again faces accusations from short sellers (although GigaCloud is headquartered in California since 2021, companies with links to China are always an easy target). For example, the "Admin" at "Grizzly Research" (we are not told the name of that analyst) recently caused the stock to tumble with an extremely aggressive short report. I could set up a website, call it "Your Wife's Boyfriend Research" and publish one short report after another without any credentials... why take this so seriously? Ms./Mr. Admin-Grizzly's argumentation is mainly based on the fact that the web traffic (analyzed with semrush.com) does not match the growth of the company: "GigaB2B’s web traffic does not square with its growth story. Data shows that GigaB2B only has approximately 50 visits per month currently*."* What is omitted here is that "organic web traffic" is used here, which according to semrush.com is more a measure of search engine performance. In a statement on May 23, GigaCloud also clarified that the actual web traffic is higher: "The report omits this data, which shows significant web traffic measured by visits to the Company’s website of roughly 130,000 total visits and 11,000 unique visitors during April 2024, according to this third-party’s estimates." I checked this myself on semrush.com: source: semrush.com GigaCloud also clarifies the following about its B2B business model: "The Company’s marketplace is a business-to-business (B2B) platform, not a consumer-direct business. [...] In other words, the Company’s business model is to sell in volume to a smaller number of customers than if it operated a consumer-direct business." In my opinion, the low "organic traffic" on semrush.com also makes sense in this context, as most GigaCloud customers simply have the link bookmarked in their browser and don't google the company every time (at least, that's how I would do it). I also came across Jim Cramer's May 17th report recommending against the stock, saying that it is an "unnecessarily fraught, and with so many good e-commerce and logistics stocks out there — Amazon — I don’t think it makes sense to chase this one after a massive run". This alone might be enough to convince me to increase my position in this dirt cheap stock... What do you think? I remember how a similarly aggressive short report in early 2023 almost caused me to sell my position in Super Micro Computer Inc. At the time, it wasn't rational reasons that kept me in SMCI, it was the website: It looked like it had been written by a retiree over 2 weekends in 2005 in plain html and css, which convinced me that SMCI was not a scam, because an impressive website would be the first thing where tech scammers would make an effort (at least that was my gut feeling). |
2024.05.29 06:28 MulberryAsher [Servant OC] Cuauhtémoc
![[Servant OC] Cuauhtémoc](https://preview.redd.it/2nolslkbma3d1.png?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=0c3004787ec94904ea347138a72be9a54ce06c1c "[Servant OC] Cuauhtémoc") | This is my first post in reddit. I hope you guys like my first servant oc ( of course the my first servant oc will be saber-face). If you do also, like, and share this post with other media for my support, I can continue to post more like this post. Thank you. submitted by MulberryAsher to grandorder [link] [comments] Cuauhtémoc Japanese Name: クアウテモック) Class: Saber AKA: Cuauhtemotzín, Guatémuz, Last Aztec Emperor, Ruler of Tlatelolco, cuauhtlatoani, Hero of Unyielding Jade, Guatémuz the Valor, Cuauhtémoc the water sun PROFILE Default: Cuauhtémoc, who fought the Spanish to the best of her ability, is considered a hero who defended her homeland from these conquerors, a symbol of valor. As she continued to protect her homeland, time came slowly like a fading sun; she wanted to save her people and homeland, but the Spanish executed her at the end of her life. In historical records, Cuauhtémoc is a male, but she disguises herself as a male. Bond 1: Height/Weight: 154cm, 42kg Origin: Historical Fact Region: Aztec civilization, Mexico Alignment: Lawful-Good Gender: Female After pretending to be a man, she doesn't know how to react to affection. Bond 2: An Aztec Emperor who wants to bring peace and see her people's smiling faces when she becomes the emperor after the latest Aztec emperor in Tenochtitlan. It is known more as Mexico-Tenochtitlan during her time. She is a lovely and calm person who sincerely wants to change Mexico-Tenochtitlan for her people before Hernán Cortés, the conquistador who would later destroy the Aztec empire. She has an elegant, beautiful lady aura, and even when she talks to others, she is cheerful and exciting even though she has knowledge of the modern from the throne of heroes. Bond 3: After the death of the latest Emperor, Cuauhtémoc decided to protect her people and land. She opposed Montezuma's plan to allow them into Tenochtitlan and fought fiercely against them when she replaced Montezuma. Her unfailing distrust and hatred of the Spanish helped her rise to the position of Tlatoani upon the death of Cuitlahuac. There were no records of her fighting the war, but her extraordinary leadership and selfless defense of her homeland were. In her childhood, she witnessed the bloody battles of Aztec warfare since the Aztecs waged war to reap tribute and take captives for religious sacrifices. They were also given to Aztec society so victorious Aztec warriors could receive high honors. She wants to bring peace without violence and create a homeland of smiles. Since Cuauhtemoc was not recorded in history until her reign as emperor, her date of birth is unknown. As the oldest legitimate daughter of Emperor Ahuitzotl, she probably attended the last New Fire ceremony to mark the start of a new 52-year cycle. In 1515, she was named ruler of Tlatelolco, with the title cuauhtlatoani, meaning "eagle ruler," after concealing herself as a male to enter the boy school and military service. She works hard to reach her position of rulership since Cuauhtemoc pretends to be a male of high birth and a warrior who has captured enemies for sacrifice because she prefers death to be their hands. She even earns a name known as Guatemuz from the Spanish conquistadors. Bond 4: Mana Burst (Water): EX She was blessed by the goddess of water and given the divine water that rivaled the fifth Sun of his power—the discharge of magical energy in liquid form. Having her Noble Phantasm concealed, her magic energy nature is established as water by the divine aura that emanates from it. Divine water increases its rank. The embodiment of Mexico-Tenochtitlan: EX She is an emperor who wants to protect her homeland and wants to change Mexico-Tenochtitlan to bring peace. Her leadership path and unyielding will refuse to surrender and wish to save Mexico-Tenochtitlan. Blessing of the Fifth Sun: B Even though tortured and captured, she refused to surrender, and some sources said, "Our Sun has gone from our vision and will remain in Mictian, the place where the spirits repose." She believes that Huitzilopochtli will guide Mexico-Tenochtitlan and the people who will survive, and one day, someone will bring her homeland peace to the people's future. Bond 5: 『Inner World Chālchihuitl Blade』 Rank: A++ NP Type: Anti-Fortress Sword of Jade A weapon not forged by man nor divine was forged within the Inner Sea of the Planet. A Noble Phantasm that can rival Holy Sword Excalibur. A sword that is forged by the world from the world's stores of many unknown weaponry that have yet to be discovered from the current time. 『The Fifth Sun Storm 』 Rank: A+ Type: Anti-Unit / Anti-Army Noble Phantasm Range: 0-10 Maximum Targets: 1-20 people This Noble Phantasm unleashes five slashes at once. This ability's fearsome power combines the five Suns of the Aztec gods into one Sun to become a rainstorm of blood that can rival Huitzilopochtli, who was honored above all in Tenochtitlan as the patron god of the Aztecs. While it is an Anti-Unit technique, it is so powerful that the surrounding area gets caught in the blast. (Naturally, its strength lessens when used as an Anti-Army technique.) “Soy la uno como el sol, blessed by the given divine of the inner sea jade…May this sun become water, may the water become the blood of my people's death, SANGRE DEL QUINTO SOL CHALCHIUHTLICUE! Identity: Known to the Spanish conquistadors as Guatemuz, he was the last Mexica tlahtoani of Mexico-Tenochtitlan. He assumed power in 1520, one year before Hernán Cortés and his troops captured Tenochtitlan. Cuauhtémoc, son of Ahuízotl and cousin of Moctezuma Xocoyotzin and Tecuichpo, when she reached nubility. He took power in Tenochtitlan after the conquistadors had already left, but famine, smallpox, and a lack of potable water had devastated the city. Cuauhtémoc arrived at this moment after having been tlakatekohtli (chief of arms) of the resistance to the conquistadors since the death of Moctezuma before the call by the Spanish "Sad Night," he has been identified as a military leader of the Mexicas. Driven by his foresight and belief in the Mexicas' resilience, Cuauhtémoc orchestrated the reorganization of the Mexica army, the reconstruction of the city, and its fortification in preparation for the inevitable conflict with the Spaniards. He tactfully dispatched ambassadors to neighboring towns, seeking alliances and reducing their contributions, displaying his astute leadership. After eighty days of warfare against the Spanish, Cuauhtémoc called for reinforcements from the countryside to help defend Tenochtitlán. The surviving Tenochcas sought refuge in Tlatelolco, where even women participated in the battle. Only Tlatelolcas remained loyal, and even women took part in the battle. As he and his family fled Tenochtitlán by crossing Lake Texcoco, Cuauhtémoc was captured on August 13, 1521. Tragically, when confronted by the conqueror, Cuauhtémoc, pointing to the dagger on his belt, requested to be slain with it. Unable to defend his city and vassals, he chose to meet his end at the hands of the invader. This act, viewed as a sacrifice to the gods, was a poignant testament to the depth of his loyalty and the anguish of his defeat. According to duplicate Spanish accounts, Cortés declined the offer and treated his adversary with magnanimity. The brave warrior defended the capital, he claimed. Even an enemy in a Spaniard's eyes is worthy of respect. The end of his life can't help but feel a deep sympathy and sorrow for Cuauhtémoc's tragic fate. Cuauhtémoc's death was not of interest to Cortés at that time. As a subsidiary of Emperor Carlos V and Cortés, he preferred to use his dignity before the Mexicas as Tlatoani. As part of the city's cleaning and restoration work, which occurred in the months following the conquest, Cuauh émoc took advantage of his initiative and power to secure the Mexica's cooperation. However, due to what the Spanish perceived as 'greedy Spanish stewardship and distrust of the Spaniards,' the last Mexica tlatoani was tortured and killed by Cortés. Relationship: Artotria Pendragon: “Altria…Wait, King of Knights. It is an honor to meet an ideal king. Ufufu, this is exciting. I hope she and I can have lunch together and get along as friends. EMIYA (Archer), MORARSEU (Caster)(OC): "The red archer and the black caster both end up with the same fate but for different reasons. I could be their big sister and help them out! Also, I CAN HELP COOKING DINNER!" Huitzilopochtli (Saber) (OC): "HUITZILOPOCHTI! I am your biggest fan, and I pray you can guide my people after the Spanish conquistadores. Sorry, this is out of character. It is just a big honor to meet our Sun of Mexico-Tenochtitlan. I am a bit surprised that you are different from what I hear.?? So you were summoned with a human male vessel. Still, it is a great honor to meet you. I mess up again!" Tezcatlipoca: "...The Black Sun, I don't like him. He is very selfish, and I hope he doesn't start a war because just because if he got into a fight with his other siblings. It will be another destructive battle." Kukulkan: "The evil serpent, be careful, Master! Wait, what? She is not evil but a good serpent? Is she the sixth Sun, then? Sun of a lostbelt? Then, sorry for my attitude. If she is a lostbelt version, she differs from the Pan-human history. Maybe that's why my Noble Phantasm is acting up because of the merge with another God…. It's nothing, Master." Quetzalcoatl: "ehh, Quetalcoatl? The Feathered Serpent. I thought you were a male god, but it seems you were summoned with the female vessel." Tenochtitlan: "An embodiment of the city of Tenochtitlan before known as Mexico-Tenochtitlan. Our people indeed love our homelands. Am glad I meet you, Meztliapan. Then, let's be friends; I hope we can get along very well, and I can also help you introduce other servants!" Gilgamesh (Archer): "Gilgamesh? Is he known as the King of Heroes? Why is he looking at my Macuahuitl? He seems very mad and confused." Yamato Takeru: "Takeru-san is a good person. We have some common interests, like blessing by divine water and sharing our favorite foods. I LOVE RICE BALL AND RAMAN! Takeru-san shares lovely, delicious food with me." Castoria: "It's cute, Altria-kun. She is a fun and energetic person. She is teaching me what magecraft is. She is fun to spend time with, and when it comes to food, I share my favorite food." Uesugi Kenshin: "Kenshin is playful when we sparring. We play along well, but she seems to have lost something of herself. Even though I have the god-like power of my blade that rivals Huitzilopochtli's power, I want to help her in any way I can, not just to sympathize with her. But as a friend." Something you Like: "My homeland, family and the people of Mexico-Tenochtitlan. I love food! My favorite is tamales of salsa verde con queso and Enchiladas Rojas with lettuce and cheese. It's yummy when I think about it. Sorry for my attitude, Master." Something you Hate: "What do I hate? I hate the Spanish, especially Hernán Cortés. My people and the latest Emperor were just too nice. The Spaniards' greed ruined my people and homeland." About the Holy Grail: "The Holy Grail that can grant wishes, it is good but is not something I don't want. I accept my past and my actions. I want to see someone who one day brings peace to the people of my homeland." |