Hi here's the context and background: I'm currently talking to this girl I use to online date, we met 5 years ago online and broke up after 3 months ish. We chat every now and then but 1 year ago ish I found out we actually lived closeby to eachother. Now we started chatting and are in a situationship. We went out on a date already but it didn't feel awkward before because we didn't like like eachother. Now we hangout again but it feels insanely awkward now. I know we both like eachother but how do I make the first move. She constantly teases me so I don't actually know if she wants to do something or not. I pointed out other couples holding hands and asked if we could but she said "nuh uh nice try" and put her hand back into her pocket. I just grabbed her sleeve instead and held onto it. The most I've done so far was hold her arm and held her sleeve. I want to try to do more physical stuff (not in the 18+ way) like hugging or a kiss but I'm not sure how to. The constant teasing makes it hard to know if she'd be okay with it. She told me through text I have to make the first move but I don't know how at all.

So a 3 months back I met a guy on Bumble, he was a really nice guy, but due to certain reasons, we decided that we aren't going to date, I was absolutely frustrated with my life then and all apps in general, and he was of my same age, so more or less we vibed well, though we had completely varied interests. Anyway 2 weeks into conversation over Instagram (he'd asked me for my id) he said that he'd developed feelings for me and like it was all too much for me, because I'd made myself very much clear that I was not in a position to date rn, I'm doing my final year of medicine and he was prepping for his IIM admissions and stuff, we'd soon be in different cities/states and long distancing was near to impossible as I can't manage a relationship in my final year. I didn't want to him to invest his time on me without seeing any future, and also we were from different religions, and it wouldn't have worked out anyway, also some other personal issues which I can't mention here. But I felt very bad for leading him on (I never did tbh, I'd made myself clear, and he admitted that it was he who developed feelings for me). I'd a lot of free time then, I'd just got done with my exams then and we used to maintain a connection when I could, and I gradually started detaching myself from him and said we could move on as friends or else we'll stop talking altogether but he said that we could reduce the frequency if the conversations and it'll gradually die down. Fast forward, we talk/chat often like when I get time, btw he got into one of the best IIM's in the mean time, I entered my final year, we planned on meeting, since we'd got to know each other online and planned a meetup, but it didn't work out and he'd to cancel in the last moment. So we dropped plans of meeting, and agreed that we'd meet if any one of us was in the same city (we live in different cities), and usual conversations went on. He is a really good friend (or atleast that is what I assumed) and I tried my best in supporting through his interviews for IIM's as a friend and I'm absolutely overjoyed when he got into literally 5/6 IIM's. Btw I was having a tough time in my life die to the hectic academics and college. Yesterday I saw that he'd come to his Alma mater which was in my same city, and he didn't tell a word. I replied asking whether he was here and he said that he didn't want to bother me and that I was already having a hectic schedule. I had tears rolling down my eyes, and would've gone to meet him, since I considered him a dear friend and he didn't even ask me if I'd come to meet him. I literally ended up crying. I'd done my best to support him as a friend through his exams and interviews, not sending any mixed signals making my stand very clear( I like him dearly as a friend nothing more) and yet he just did this to me. Now I just feel so bad. Am I such a bad person that he absolutely avoided me and didn't even ask me whether I could come( I did have a packed schedule yesterday, but I'd have found time, after all it's all about priorities) Do I deserve to be treated like this?I just feel absolutely disgusting, with already a hard time at college. I still can't believe he just avoided me, he's indeed a nice person who used to listen to my rants and support me when I could, or was it all just a facade, I strongly believe it wasn't.
Sorry ladies for the very long rant.

Summer break is coming up, and it's going to be a long break because my college semester has ended. I don't have many friends who play video games that I am interested in. And I was hoping to find other people like me here. I am an introvert and I am very shy. I was hoping to find gaming buddies who aren't very talkative or very judgmental. I am from East Asia, and my English isn't very good, and I am not that sociable, when I am with one of my friends, I can hardly hold a conversation. I don't like meeting new people, but here I am searching for a buddy to play video games with.
What I am looking for.
What I am looking for is someone to just enjoy the game and not talk very much at first because I am very shy around new people.
Video Games.
Most of the video games that I play are MMORPGs and RPGs, but occasionally I do play some FPS and I also play some relaxing games that involve budding towns or some life sim games. I am ready to play new games as well.
MMORPGs

• WOW, but something if I'm in the mood
• Elder scrolls online
• DC Universe Online

RPG

• Cyberpunk
• Skyrim
• Elden Ring

FPS

• CS2, I am not good at it
• Valorant, also not good at it
• Others-
• Minecraft
• Some Visual Novels
• Tower defence games

Me

• Male
• 20y/o
• In collage
• Can speak 3 languages, French, English, and, last one rather not say
• I utter my words when I'm stressed or talking to new people
• Not very chatty

Anyone is welcome. Please DM me if interested, and I'll massage my Steam and other gaming platforms, and if interested, my Discord.

Hello! Wanna ask for recos. It's an online thing and we've decided to take it to the next level. She's from Batangas and I'm from Laguna. We're planning to have our first date. I suggested SM Calamba since yun yung parang center namin but parang di nya gusto. She suggested MOA and I think that place is too huge for a first date. I never experienced dating so everything is new to me, ang alam ko lang kasi sa date is kakain then nunuod ng movie. Please can anyone suggest what we can do on our first date? It's mostly for vibe check if compatible kami. We're both female if that matters. I just want it to be memorable. I really really really like her and if things went well, i want her to be my girlfriend. Thanks in advance! :)

Boyfriend, Male from Australia, 23
Me, 23 Female from the Philippines
3 weeks before this incident happened it was our first month together officially, he works in AUS and i live in the PH. So far so good we are happy we celebrated our 1st monthsary on facetime, he is also a Filipino. He was waiting for his citizenship ceremony but he said it takes 4-6 months for the date of when you are to pledge (he wants to come home his hometown:Philippines and visit me).
3 days before he completely ignore me we were face timing, always updates each other and on monday i asked him about his dad bc he was going to apply for a return visa but his documents are with his dad and his dad didnt allow him to have it, but i told him to ask his brother to use his dad's laptop or whenever he comes home from work he should borrow his dad's laptop for him to get his needed documents
Then Tuesday comes around he usually calls me and updates me during his break time even for a bit but that time he didn't i told him that he should have messages me even though he was online on both instagram and facebook messenger.
Then wednesday and thursday comes around he keeps saying he is busy but he always says goodnight in advance and i love you but when i confronted him he told me that he was thinking while he is at work about the citizenship pledge but it would take another 4-6 months of waiting and he really really wants to go home and after he said that he ghosted me, I can't send messages on imessage, i got muted on instagram dms and facebook messenger (ik this bc whenever i try to call him he doesnt pick up). I cried so much because i don'nt know what he meant by that? He said in the beginning of the relationship he would wait and he can do LDR he would assure me so much because i was hesitant to try ldr again.
I tried emailing him but im not sure if he reads my email.
Help me idk what to do mh heart feels heavy, do i even have a boyfriend still?

Free online course on the book! (via Zoom)
THE SCIENCE OF POLITICAL ECONOMY (2024)

This course is intended to call attention to the flaws of mainstream economics. It will be a comprehensive exploration of the field, expanding and deepening the treatment of the subject of political economy in George’s earlier books. We will cover a broad range of topics, including but not limited to money and credit, forms of cooperation, the law of diminishing return as well as the nature of trade.
The instructor, Dr. Marty Rowland is a trustee at the Henry George School and a long time faculty member of the School.
Dates and Time: Part 1 : 5/20, 6/3, 6/10, 6/17, 6/24 – From 6:30PM to 7:30PM ET
Part 2: 7/1, 7/8, 7/15, 7/22, 7/29 – From 6:30PM to 7:30PM ET
Note: This is an online event. The link to join on Zoom, along with the Meeting ID and Passcode, will be provided via email the day of each session.

If you're a serious Georgist, you're already plugged into the HGSSS courses and seminars. If you're not there yet, this is as great a place as any to get started!

First of all, thanks to everyone who takes their time to read all of this, it means the world to me!
I (m30) met my GF (f30) a year ago on an online dating platform and we are now in a happy relationship since 10 months. She is all I could have ever dreamed of and is the love of my life. I am planning my proposal right now but there is something I just have to get rid of, my RJ. I had massive mental health issues in the past (severe depression) and suffered low self-worth.
My first 2 relationships shared the same „problem“. I had my first girlfriend at the age of 20. At the beginning of our relationship we talked about our sexual pasts. I was a virgin back then and she told me a number of people she slept with. Over the next months, due to conversations on parties, it became clear that the number she told me was a lie and the real number was much higher. I even found out, that she slept with a friend of mine, 3 weeks before we started dating. I started to develop trust issues and did something I am not proud about, looking through her phone. I found out the feeling that she is lying to me was right all along, she had slept with many more guys than she told me about and was even cheating on me, which is why we broke up.
My second girlfriend was the second woman I had slept with. Same problem as before (apart from the cheating stuff). We talked about our past experiences and, as time went by, it became clear that she also lied about her past experiences and has had many more guys, than she told me. Apart from that she was very abusive, attacked me both verbally and physically and drove me into mentioned depression over a course of 7 years. I broke up with her 2 years ago.
At this point it is important to state that both of my exes started the conversations about past experiences. It is nothing I check out when I start to date someone.
I now was 29, had encountered RJ in 2 relationships and thought it was due to my lack of sexual experiences myself. To prevent it from happening again I started dating and gained experience myself, until I met the love of my life 12 months ago.
Our relationship is perfect, aside from my RJ. When we started dating we showed us pictures of each others and I noticed a picture of her with a musician. I asked her, if they had hooked up and she told me no. She also told me that she never had a ons or any „casual“ sex experiences and doesn‘t like such stuff.
2 months into the relationship I stumbled upon her reddit profile (I didn‘t take her phone at this point). I was curious and read the things she had posted and comments she wrote, since it is all online and public. Then I saw the comment, which led to the situation I am in today. She had commented a post that she did have sex with the said musician. The moment I‘ve read this my heart sunk into my stomach and I was instantly reminded of my 2 previous relationships. So I did a mistake again. I took her phone while she was sleeping and looked for pictures, read chats etc. I found out that she also was lying about past experiences. She did had ons and casual sex and also lied about another guy she had told me she had dated, but didn‘t have sex with. In fact, they did have sex, several times. I confronted her about the musician and told her I looked through her phone. She was shocked and disappointed that I checked her phone (and I totally understand that, it isn‘t the right thing to do) but my gut feeling told me something was off and my feeling was right. She admitted that she had sex with the musician, but also didn‘t tell me the whole truth. She lied about the way that ons started out, but I didn‘t tell her that I know the truth. It shook my trust in her. Not my general trust, but the trust about everything she told me about her past. To this day she doesn‘t know that I‘ve read a lot more than just the chat with the musician, because back then I told her that I only read this chat (it was wrong for me to lie to her and I was no better than her, I know!).
Now to the real problem. This triggered something big in me, like a trauma or something. It has been 8 months since I‘ve searched her phone and not a single day has passed at which I haven‘t thought about this musician. I think about it a few times a day and sometimes I even imagine how they had sex when I am having sex with her. It is driving me crazy and I am slowly going insane because of it. Sometimes we randomly talk about things from our past and I catch her lying to me since I know better because I searched her phone. I don‘t tell her that I know better in these situations. I know she ist just lying because of 2 reasons:

1. she does not want to destroy my picture of her and fears that I might view her differently.
   
2. she wants to safe me from getting jealous/sad
   

What is in the past ist in the past, she didn’t know me back then so she did nothinh wrong back then. She could tell me the craziest sex stories and I would just love her the way she is, the most beautiful soul I‘ve ever met. But knowing that she is lying all the time about these things is slowly killing me from the inside. I can‘t get these things out of my head and I‘ve already told her about my past and how important the truth is for me because of that. She still decided to lie to me when I confronted her about the ons with the musician. I can‘t get over it because I know I‘m still getting lied to concerning this particular topic and my brain tries to figure out what the truth is all the time. I made the experiences that if my gf talks openly about a past story the puzzle in my head gets completed and I can stop thinking about it. I already started to search for a therapist (I will DEFINITELY start therapy again) but I feel like I need to confront her one more time to find peace and get her to lay down the lies and start being honest about her past.
She had an abusive ex, too. It is a very sensitive topic for her to search the phone because her ex did it all the time. He controlled who she is allowed to speak to and locked her up in the flat to make sure she can‘t have any interactions with another male. This is why I am afraid to confront her because I don‘t want to trigger her but we both fucked up (me looking through her phone / she constant lies about her past).
What should I do? Should I confront her? I tried to eat it up but 8 months have passed and it didn‘t get better, I feel like I need closure.

As the title says, games such as fallout and borderlands when launched come up with their own individual launchers and when I press play on them they immediately crash. By launching the .exe By itself if then comes up with multiple .dll file errors (0xc000012f)
I’ve fixed some of these by downloading 32 bit versions of the .DLL files it mentions and have had luck with playing these games that way, but I’ve recently started getting into total war games again and once again, it has its own launcher that pops up for you to press play, and when I launch it from the .exe it has errors for: D3DCompiler_42.dll, d3dx11_42.dll, and d3dx9_42.dll
I’ve tried the 32bit and 64bit versions but none of them work, windows is up to date, up to date drivers, re installed the games, re installed direct X and hardware definitely isn’t the issue.
Any help would be appreciated as this has happened on way too many occasions and anything else that’s online about it either doesn’t exist or just tells you to verify the game files which has never worked once.
Cheers guys

I'm (23F) and my ex (24M) had been friends for 4 years before we got into a relationship he was kind and gentleman when we were friends. Due to a lack of communication, we both don't want to confess or talk about our problems in our relationship which is not a good thing we only talk about it after our cool off, he is the one who always wants a breakup and also the one reached out first to fix our relationship. In 3 years of our relationship we have always been on and off.
In those 3 years, I realized a lot about how our relationship became toxic i noticed how he negged me like he would always send me TikTok videos of beautiful girls and tell me that "I should go on a diet so I would look prettier like those girls" I was shocked about that my height is (4'11) and my weight is (48) I know that I'm chubby and I have a chubby face which is the most I'm insecurities about. My looks are just average I know I'm not that beautiful compared to other girls but it hurts me the most since he had become my friend for years even though he has been my boyfriend for years. I didn't go on diet like he said, I also found out almost 3 years later that after a few months of starting our relationship he chat his crush "I love you" She is an influencer so there is a chance that they could be together I started questioning why would he want me when he loves other girl and he didn't even tell me that even though we promise to be honest when it comes to, so I broke up with him this time and due to my mental health there were times that I didn't want to talk to anyone for a few days, weeks, became months even to my family I don't talk about them about my own problems. My friends told me that I should comeback to him, since he is good to me( I didn't tell anyone what he did or the reason why we broke up).
Almost a year when he reached out to me again to have closure and fulfill our plan when we were in a relationship and that was going on dates and having a deep talk. I'm not planning to be with him again I just give it a try talking about our relationship I think it's a good thing to create memories that we always want so I could tell myself that I tried my best to work out our relationship even though it wouldn't last. However, shouting at me in public was the last straw to cut ties with him I would always remember that time like it was yesterday I didn't do anything or give him a reason to shout at me like that we were just talking after that accident, I just got along with him and that was the time I felt uncomfortable and unsafed around him(it's giving me social anxiety). When I went home that night, I waited until he was not online on his social media I messaged him that I didn't want him to text me anymore and not to expect anything from me also that this was the last time he would hear from me and it's better for the both us to part our ways and moved on.
He texted me the next morning but I didn't seen or reply to his messages after a few months he texted me again but I ignored it. I also made another account without adding him even as a friend. After a year of our breakup, he still stalking with my social media and reached out to me so I pretended to be in love with someone else on my social media (that person don't exist either)since I told him that he would be my 1st and last boyfriend.
AITA for ignoring my Ex bf

Hello! I just wanted to ask if June 7 po ba talaga yung deadline of payment para sa reservation? I checked the letter and sabi na for online payments yung deadline na iyon, and for the rest of the days it’ll be cash payment. Until when po ba talaga yung deadline of all reservation? And will my slot be revoked if di pa ako makakabayad by my confirmation date sa CLA? Thank you po! :’)

Back in 2018 I met someone online through a mutual friend, and we casually started speaking. We never thought it would go anywhere, but fast forward we fell for each other hard and dated long distance. We were in a good situation where we were able to see each other about once a month even being across the country from each other.
When the pandemic hit, we moved forward with closing the distance and I moved from the west coast to the east coast. I didn’t want to move in together right away as I was fiercely independent and wanted to ease into us being close together. I also had lived alone for a long time, and wasn’t ready to fully share my space with someone yet.
For a year we were together in the same city, and I thought things between us were going great. We spent (at least) half the week together and I was easily integrating into my new city and life.
Then it all came crashing down when he told me he had met someone else, and he wanted to be exclusive with her and didn’t want to cheat on me so he wanted to end things between us so they could be together.
I mean.. he was cheating the whole time, but whatever, if it makes him sleep better thinking he did nothing wrong then… ok I guess. You never hooked up so you aren’t a cheater (yes he is).
But to the point, it’s been three years. I have no desire to get back together with him, and even if he did reach out to reconcile… I wouldn’t do it.
But I also don’t have any desire to date anyone, at all. I tried dating a little bit, but I just felt like I was doing it because I had to.
I live a very fulfilling life, I have great friends and a beautiful life in every way except romance. I just feel like he was it for me. He was the love of my life, and it ended, that was my chance and now it’s done.
I know what he did was wrong, I’ve talked about it in therapy a lot. I know I can’t blame myself because he decided to be a piece of garbage… but even so I just feel like my shot at a romantic future is done, and my fairytale has ended forever.
I don’t know what I’m looking for by sharing this, I just guess to finally admit it. I tell my friends I just don’t feel like dating, when in reality it all feels pointless.
I don’t look at his social media, I have no clue what he’s up to. But I know he looks at mine sometimes, I see he’s looked at my stuff every now and again.

Hi all,
Thanks for the invite to the group.
Below are all the locations I've signed up to which allow referrals and pay you in return for them.
I'll try to be as good at explaining where I can. For ease I have hidden referral links just incase the sites dont allow sharing in "public" forums such as this.
Banking apps: 1. Monzo Offer: Spend no minimum, make £5 Referral link Steps: - You’ll need to be a UK resident aged 16 or over with an open Monzo account of any kind. You have 30 days to: - download the Monzo app - apply for a current account or business account - add some money and pay for something using Monzo (no minimum amount) - The referral’s complete and we’ll both get £5

1. Zing Works similar to Revolut/Wise, foreign currency banking essentially. Offer: Spend £5 minimum, make £20 Referral link Steps:
2. You'll need to be a UK resident aged 18 or over with an open Zing account You have until 31st May to:
3. Sign up by following the link above to the referral landing page form and following the instructions.
4. Register using a mobile number
5. Download the Zing app and be successfully on-boarded as a customer for the first time using the same details as above.
6. Top up your Zing account
7. Spend £5 using virtual card, google/apple pay or order a card and spend that way too (but this might take too long to arrive)
8. once promotion has ended, within 30 working days we should receive £20 each. You can refer up to 20 people each to make £400 yourself, but has to be completed by above date.
   
9. Zilch Virtual banking app, cashback on spending at loads of retailers online and in store via google/apple pay. Offer: Spend no minimum, make £5 (to spend towards one of above retailers) Referral link Steps:
   
10. sign up
    
11. set up pay now option
    
12. set up pay anywhere
    
13. purchase/ spend something
    
14. receive £5 once transaction has registered.
    

Please note that this app has a credit facility, so make sure pay now option is set up so you dont affect your score incase you're prone to missing payments. Some point after registration Zilch may show up on your credit report, mine showed up after a few months. Cashback received varies but minimum is 0.5%.

1. Freetrade Stocks and shares platform Offer: Deposit minimum £50, receive 1 share between £10-£100. Referral link Steps:
2. sign up using the link
3. fill in the W-8BEN form
4. deposit £50, no need to spend it on purchasing shares. Unless you want to of course.
5. receive a free share valued between £10-£100

Please note your capital is at risk if purchasing shares. So if you want to play safe deposit minimum £50, dont spend and receive the free share to do as you wish with. If you want to try the platform, then by all means go for it. I just have to state your investment is at risk due to the nature of stocks and shares. If you decide to refer your friends, you get up to 10 referrals a month.
Cashback platforms: Some of the below can be combined with cashback or gift card places like Zilch (above) / Chase / Cheddar and Jam Donut (below) for example, to save and make even more money back.

1. Topcashback Cashback site where you can each money on every days online purchases Offer: Purchase using the platform and reach the £10 threshold for cashback. Referral link Steps:
2. sign up
3. use the site to find a retailer you shop with
4. purchase item
5. get cashback each time you do
6. build up £10+, that's yours to then cash out and spend as you wish via bank account/paypal/gift cards
   
7. Quidco Cashback site where you can make money on every day purchases Offer: Purchase using the platform and reach £5 threshold for cashback. Referral link Steps:
   
8. sign up
   
9. use the site to find a retailer you shop with
   
10. purchase item
    
11. get cashback each time you do
    
12. build up £5+, that's yours to then cash out and spend as you wish via bank account/paypal/gift cards
    
13. you'll get £15 once accomplished the above
    
14. Cheddar App that pay you money instantly for purchasing gift cards Offer: £5 for referring Referral link Steps:
    
15. sign up
    
16. link bank account
    
17. purchase gift cards
    
18. each cashback
    
19. withdraw once you reach £5 threshold
    
20. when you buy your first gift card, the referrer gets £5 also.
    
21. JamDoughnut App that pay you money instantly for purchasing gift cards Offer: £3 for using app for 1st time. Referral link Steps:
    
22. sign up using the link and input my code LA9G
    
23. link bank account
    
24. purchase gift cards
    
25. each cashback
    
26. when you cash out your funds for first time
    
27. Airtime Rewards App that pays you for spending in store or online, you can use the pot to go towards your phone bill (various ones available) or to gift to another members phone number instead. Offer: Sign up within 7 days and get £2 Referral link Steps:
    
28. sign up using the link and input my code if requested, LKMDEP7M
    
29. link a bank card you will spend with
    
30. use the linked card to make purchase various shops in store or online as per mentioned on airtime app within 7 days
    
31. we both get £2
    

This app is quite good to use, haven't really paid for my phone bill for over a good couple of years now.
Other cashback / reward offers: 1. E.On Next Sign up and get £50 credit on your bill Referral link T&Cs apply here

1. Community Fibre Sign up and get £50 Amazon gift card Referral link
   
2. Smarty Sign up and get £10 voucher for Amazon, John Lewis or Uber Referral link
   

looking to date after 4 years, or be friends and see if it leads anywere.
I'm majoring in biology and also love all animals (except worms)
I like hiking, playing video-games, reading about random animals or bio stuff online cuz I'm a mf nerd like that.
I am stupid sometimes but my genius shows itself sometimes I swear 😭
And would love to get to know you <3

Let me start by saying that I do not think that all of them are like this. But I see so many women blatantly using these big Twitch streamers for clout and money. They do not actually genuinely care about these guys and they date them for personal profit and clout. I guarantee you, if these streamers didn’t have money, they would not be dating these women. It’s so obvious, too. I can name a lot of streamers. These OF chicks do it for their own personal gain, and these dumb streamers fall in love and are upset when they “break up,” like it wasn’t going to happen in the first place. I can name multiple big streamers that fall for this. All I’m saying is that if I was a big streamers no online OF chick is going to be getting close to me. IRL relationships only. Thoughts, comments, concerns? Drop them below.

I’ve known my boyfriend for about a year, and we’ve been longtime friends before things got more serious. We met through a video game and hit it off when we first gamed together. We’ve just recently made it official and I thought everything couldn’t be more perfect. I’m dating someone who I felt comfortable around, our personalities meshed well, and I felt like I was listened and seen by him.
One of my biggest hesitancies in getting into an online long distance relationship (LDR) was the fact that I was scared of trusting people. I’ve been in an online relationship in the past, where it has ended due to me finding out they were cheating on me. We were friends, but only talked about our relationship history / sexuality seriously before getting into this relationship.
However, this week, he was dealing with the fallout of a situation within his online friend group. This issue was something he was trying to resolve alone, and he’s been dealing with his words being twisted. Someone from their friend server posted his direct messages on social media of my boyfriend’s response to the situation, and I didn’t think much of it until I read it. He’s been keeping me up about all that he’s been doing so I didn’t think much about it.
That’s until I read the last screenshot. In it, he uses the fact that he has a WIFE for an example to relate to the situation on hand. This is relevant as the situation was directly related to differences in sexuality and beliefs. However, my boyfriend’s message clearly states that he has been with his wife for over 6 years. I have no idea how to confront him about this as I don’t think I would have ever come across his messages had no someone else posted them.
Now I don’t know what to do, or think. I’ve only met his friends a few times, so I don’t even know who would be the best to ask in this situation. I have the screenshots and they are definitely from him. I cannot handle being cheated on, so I will definitely not tolerate being the “mistress” in this situation if it’s true. When we made it official, he had made it clear that he was currently single. I had believed him because I held so much trust in him, especially since we were good friends before dating.
How do I best approach this situation? I just want to understand why he said what he said and if it is true about him still being with his wife? Thanks in advance for anyone who gives me advice on this.

I Accepted a Job to Film on the Dark Web
Man, I am pumped to tell you chronically online content addicts my story. Wait is that too mean of an intro? Will this get taken down for harassment since I painted too accurate a picture of the people on this site? Sorry, everyone, I’m sure you all smell like an expensive bakery and have touched grass this morning. Anyway, I promise I have something interesting. It even involves the dark web you uncreative writers cream yourselves over! I mean, totally real people speaking about their strangely similar experiences. Okay, fine I’ll stop bullying you through the screen before you click off.
This all started when I was seven years old and my parents were killed in front of me in an anti-indigenous hate crime, but let's be real you don’t care. I’m just some annoying Cherokee kid with dead parents so I’ll skip to the good parts. I spent years in an orphanage, gradually becoming more interested in death and violence. As bad as it is, I went out of my way to expose myself to that content in the hopes of desensitizing myself. Which ended up working too well, since now I’m obsessed with causing and viewing pain, though I don’t find any joy in hurting myself.
I got adopted at twelve and after a few months of staying at my new family’s home on the reservation, I went with them to a state sweatier than the average Reddit user, California. Long story short, both of my caretakers, whom I referred to as Uncle and Auntie because they could never be my parents, died. Leaving me in the care of their older son, who I call cousin. I’m not stupid enough to give up any real names, so I’ll call him Brick, cause he’s as dumb as one. He was in his early 20s when he was tasked with taking care of me and is the world’s worst excuse for a babysitter.
I’m almost always alone at the apartment, with him only coming by to drop off supplies and stay for a few hours so the neighbors don’t get too worried. Unless I get in trouble at school, then he’d suddenly give a shit. It's useful because he doesn't about the gory stuff I look at, but some display of interest would be nice. Oh well, ninety percent of the population sucks so he’s just part of the majority. Now, with that said, you’ll be able to understand the perfect storm that led me here. During my time on the deep web, I found a particular website that caught my eye. They had new footage relatively consistently and they were the easiest for me to access since I didn't go too far into the dark web, especially with all the honey pots lying around.
I even bought a couple of files for myself to study and admire. One thing irritated me though, the cameraman. He was always sobbing, breathing, shaking, or some combination of those. It seriously killed the vibe of the killings. Something I commented on under many videos, often saying I would do a better job filming. A choice that in hindsight was me asking to end up in one of those recordings. I didn't think anything of it at the time. I was mostly the only one who commented but I was sure they wouldn't care. I was embarrassingly wrong.
I was staying up like usual, but it was past one AM on a school night, and back then that was a lot so I tried to sleep. Closing my eyes, tossing and turning, the works. I had just started drifting off when I heard the front door open. I remained calm but immediately found it weird since Brick never showed up this late. The thuds of the individual's feet grew louder as they got closer to my bedroom. I tried to convince myself it wasn't a stranger, especially since they got in with ease, but I knew that was wishful thinking.
They hummed as they opened my door. My dumbass had left it unlocked. I remained on my side, trying to look like I was asleep. They turned on the flashlight of their phone, shining it in my face. It was hard but I stayed still while they traced it over my features. I could tell they were smiling as they clicked their tongue.
“Heh, I knew it was a brat,” they whispered to themselves, pulling tangles out of my hair. Something I struggled not to groan from. They pulled up the hair over my ear and got so close spit got on my ear lobe.
“I know you’re awake kid,” they murmured, putting a blade to my neck. I let them grab my shoulder and move me onto my back, I knew how to fight but I wasn't about to take that big a risk with the position they had me in.
“You think you’re so cool saying you can do better than our guy.” they snickered, kneeling, their flashlight still shining in my face.
“Do you seriously believe that?” they questioned, moving the light away.
“Yeah, I do.” I stood my ground, they might have been intimidating but I wasn't gonna let that stop me from being honest.
“I wouldn't sound like I’m gonna piss myself every time it gets gory. I’m confident I could get better footage too, getting up close is something I’ve fantasized about.”
They clicked their tongue again and ran their finger over the bridge of my nose.
”Well, I know you’re a big fan of what we do, and you’re confidence makes me think you got something to back those claims up, so how’d you like a deal?”
I was surprised by how civil they were being aside from the touching and weapon against my throat.
“What kind of deal?” I asked, for all I knew this guy wanted me to lick their feet or some weird shit like that. They placed a finger underneath my eye, tracing a half moon with their nail.
“You have till this Friday to film a video of you killing an animal and put it on a flash drive that I’ll pick up here. If it impresses me and the crew we’ll hire ya with a handsome salary.” They began, moving their hand down to my cheek.
“But if you don't show, or it doesn't meet our standards, then I’m fucking up one of the parts of your face.” They warned, pinching my skin harshly.
“And if I say no to this deal?”
They put their hand over my mouth, scratching my lips.
“That’s cute, if you say no I’ll just slit your throat.” they grinned.
“Or rip it open with my teeth if you got a preference,” they smirked, before running their tongue across their sharp teeth.
“Okay, since I have no choice I’ll go with it, but I’m telling you now I can give you something way better than what you likely expect of me.” I prefaced, looking into their sunken eyes. They scratched my scalp, including the side of my head that was shaved.
“Good choice, I’ll be back to pick it up and if you're not here I’ll assume you don’t have the video. I genuinely wish you luck, because you’ll need it.” they removed the blade from my neck and walked away. I sat still for a few minutes in the dark, processing what had happened and wondering how they got into my apartment with such ease. I was confident I could blow their sniveling excuse of a cameraman out of the water, but I was worried about the people I was getting caught up with.
Sure, I had been on a lot of gore sites over the years but I was always just watching and occasionally commenting. Compared to most in the scene I wasn't much of a threat. I could defend myself and have contemplated killing for years but I hadn't murdered anyone or worse. Plus, I am part of way too many targeted groups to not be constantly at risk. Teenage, fem-leaning, two-spirit, indigenous kid with trauma? Yeah, I might as well be walking sign screaming “Hate crime me”.
So yeah, there was a lot to worry about. Regardless, I couldn't let that fear hold me back. I had a job to do and a group of sickos to appease. The next morning was rough, I got no sleep cause I’d spent all night brainstorming. I barely mustered the energy to change and drank straight mouthwash instead of brushing my teeth. Slogging onto the bus with drool on my cheek, I went to the back like usual. No one sat there cause, the seats were extra worn down, and I scared off anyone who attempted to with my active, rabies-infected bitch face. That day was different though.
I blanked on his name and where I knew him from, but I recognized his wavy hair and prominent curved nose. He glanced at each seat on the bus, before somehow settling on my area. He tried to give me space but ultimately seated himself beside me after realizing it was the only spot that didn't look like it would give him cancer. I glared at him as I did with everyone, but it didn't phase him.
“You know you could pick anywhere else right?” I murmured. He stared at the floor, then at me.
“I’m aware, but a few months ago I started a mission to sit on every part of this bus, and this is the last place.” he smiled, his lips softly curving at the sides.
“What’s the point of that?”
His mouth moved into a more neutral position, but his eyes kept smiling.
“I just thought it would be neat to see the same place from a bunch of different perspectives.” he took out his phone and snapped a photo from the point of view where he was sitting. Maybe my sleepiness made my bitch face less effective, cause he hadn't shown a hint of fear, which kind of annoyed me.
“That’s cool I guess, but I wouldn't do that if I were you. I’ve done some back here alone that would make your skin crawl.” in hindsight my attempt at unnerving him just made me sound like a pervert, which is probably why he held back laughter. Trying to hide a chuckle by clearing his throat.
“Hey, it's not my business what you do, no matter how Haram it is. It’s your life so that’s between you and whatever you believe in. Just don’t shake hands with me.” he joked, playfully putting his hands up. Strangely, I remembered his name at that moment.
“Oh shit, you’re Abdul! We have art together.” I sat up, haphazardly slamming my hand down on my leg.
“Uh yeah, I’ve seen some of your paintings, they’re pretty cool. I like the way you texture them, I’m trying to work on that.” he complimented, seeming more weirded out by my sudden energy than my accidental insinuation. I felt a little stupid for yelling his name but decided not to dwell on it.
“Thanks, you’re stuff is nice, and you’re good at shading.”
He stretched his arms while thanking me. We talked for a few more minutes, taking jabs at each other throughout. Turns out he was better at being an asshole than his artsy charismatic appearance made me think. The thing setting our insults apart being that you could tell he was a loving person underneath. It was the nicest conversation I had with anyone in a while. Though he could tell I was tired so he quieted down, letting me sleep, waking me when we got to school. We went our separate ways until the last two periods we shared. All that time, I spent my remaining energy plotting how I was going to handle the video. What I’d kill, record with, and how to dispose of the evidence. It was a lot to consider, but through three classes I devised a plan.
I’d find a stray around my apartment complex and take it out in my room. Record it on a portable camera since I broke the ones on my phone, no, I will not be answering how that happened. Then once I had my footage I’d put the body in a trash bag, throw it in the complex’s garbage, and clean the blood off my floor. It didn't seem like Brick would come by so he wasn't a factor I thought I’d have to consider. The plan was almost too easy, but I decided to believe in Occam’s razor. I got so lost in thought that by the time I reached Art, which was my second-to-last period, I didn't process that we were moving seats.
“She called your name,” Abdul reminded me. Our teacher placed us next to each other at our four-person table. The two girls sitting with us were already friends, so I didn't bother to say anything, but I was interested in talking to him more.
“So, what do you think of this assignment?” He shrugged, taking out his sketchbook.
“I’m not that good at drawing people, but the idea of combining two people’s faces into a portrait seems interesting. Any ideas on who you’ll pick?”
“Probably the members of the music duo Brain Tumor, they’re my favorite artists and they both look weird as hell.”
“Wow way to talk about your favorites, if that’s what you say about them I can‘t imagine what you have to say about me.” he joked, pulling up reference pictures.
“First, it’s not an insult, second I don’t have anything to say about you. Brain and Tumor have features and styles that make them stand out. Sure they’re ugly, but it just adds to their visual charm. Hot people are boring, there’s nothing to pick at.” I explained, unzipping my bag.
“Oh, so you’re saying you think I’m hot.”
His comment wasn’t serious but it kind of got to me.
“Shit, that’s not what I meant, I was trying to say you’re boring. All hot people are boring, but not all boring people are hot, okay?” I explained, flipping to a clean page.
“Alright, but if I’m so bland then why talk to me?”
I hesitated, contemplating how much of a dick I was gonna be.
“Because it means you probably need some spice in your life, which I can provide.”
He began sketching a head on his paper.
“I like spices, but I feel like you’re the kind of person to dump a cabinet’s worth onto me.”
I flicked my pencil over to his side of the desk, putting on a mocking grin.
“Aww, you scared I’m gonna get you into trouble?”
He picked up the pencil and started using it, putting his on my side.
“No, ‘cause I’m good at setting boundaries. I’m more concerned that you’ll get annoyed with how unafraid of you I am.”
I stared at him for a moment, I hadn't expected to hear that.
“Jeez, man you didn't have to read me like that.”
He shrugged, observing the red paint from past projects that lay on my pencil.
“It's not hard to figure out, just this morning you were trying to push me away on the bus. Lucky, or unlucky, for you I want you to have a friend and you seem like a fun person.”
“Wait are you saying I have no friends?” I squinted at him.
“Well, do you?”
I didn't answer.
“If your response is silence I suggest you take up my offer.”
I was stunned, to be honest. No one had offered to be my friend since 6th grade, and that didn't last long. Of course, I accepted it, but for the rest of the period, there was an awkwardness in my mind. As pathetic as it sounds I wasn't used to others genuinely enjoying my company like he did. Which was partly by design cause I get joy out of scaring people away, but still. I forgot how it felt to have conversations about normal things like art. He had such a nice smile too, usually when I see a grin I want to slap it off, but I liked his. His voice was also nice, it’s hard to describe what in particular but it was easy on the ears.
Okay, I’m starting to get off-topic. I’ll skip to the important part. Toward the end of class, he started talking about how he was interested in filmmaking and got a portable video camera as a gift at last year’s Eid. He didn't have it on him, but he showed me a picture.
“Heh, that’s funny, I bought the same one a month ago.” I pointed out.
“Yeah, it's a popular model, I’m still getting the hang of it though cause I’m so used to using my phone.”
“Well, maybe I could bring you over to my place or vice versa after school and I can help you out.” I suggested.
He smiled, putting his phone back in his pocket.
“I thought you said you’ve only had it for a month? You know I can always look up tutorials from trained professionals.” he reminded me with a notable smugness that I'd used with him before.
“Well those guys are stuffy and I’m a fast learner.”
He redirected his attention back to his page, picking his pencil up.
“Alright, I suggest we go somewhere public instead. You’re not exactly the kind of person I want to bring home to my parents right away. Plus they always need to meet my friends and their guardians before I hang out at their home.”
I gave an exaggerated sigh, stretching my back.
“Aw man, looks like we can’t get high in my murder pit during our first hangout.”
He didn't respond for a solid few seconds.
“Wait, you do know I'm joking right?”
He shrugged, the smile in his eyes appearing again.
“I mean, one of those things is a little less believable than the other.” he snickered, and I laughed with him.
We set up a time and a date, which is where I screwed myself. He ended up being busy with projects from his other classes and family which just left us with Friday, the same day I had to submit the video. Now, did I tell him I wouldn't be able to make it? No, of course not, because I decided to be stupid and even more overconfident. I said that I’d one hundred percent be able to hang out with him after school like I didn't have a mutilator who was going to drop by my place at an unknown time.
The rest of the day went over fine but that bad timing led me to feel like a dick later. When I got home I was able to write out my plan, even sketching a few specifics of what I’d do. It was more exciting than when I’d been brainstorming, but this is when the gravity of the situation began to set in. When I said I’d fantasized about killings I meant it. I mean my teddy with twenty-five stab wounds should say enough. Regardless this would be the first time real blood was on my hands.
It made me feel powerful, but a little afraid. I’ve heard stories of people thinking that it would be an awesome experience and then feeling like shit. I doubted I’d be one of those people but still. Plus, I didn't exactly trust the guy who gave me this job. There was a good chance that this whole situation was rigged and they’d kill me no matter how good the video was. Or worse turn me into the feds and expose my collection. Honestly, if that happened I’d probably eat a shot to avoid going to jail. Wait, can I say that on this platform? Okay to the mods, that was a joke, I want to live a long life. Ugh, I’m doing a terrible job of staying on track. The point is there was a lot up in the air despite it being a matter of life or death.
I knew I’d go through with it but it was still a lot less straightforward than it initially seemed. I wracked my brain to remember where most of the cats stayed and tried to come up with a good way to lure one without raising suspicion. This also proved harder than first thought because I didn't think to account for the cat man, an old guy who lived alone and fed all the cats in our dingy complex while also housing a few. Knowing how obsessive he was he’d probably notice if one of them disappeared. Then again not all the cats return consistently or at all. It makes more sense that he’d think one of them was run over rather than slaughtered. It was getting late again so I rested my head for a moment, a bad move cause I ended up falling asleep at my desk. Not even changing out of the clothes I’d worn before, I woke up late and barely caught the bus the next morning.
I went to my usual spot but Abdul had already taken it. He patted the area next to it, which he’d covered in a towel, a smart move knowing how nasty it was. People gave me a few dirty looks as normal, which I smiled at. I stretched, my mind slightly less out of it than the previous morning.
“Uh, you do realize that-”
“Yeah, I know I’m wearing the same clothes.”
Abdul looked me up and down, his eyes remaining soft, but with a mix of concern and judgment. He set his backpack down and took off his sweater handing it to me.
“Dude what are you-”
“Look I don't know what led to you not being able to change but I think you should at least have a fresh top.”
I was surprised he was offering me something to wear but I took it.
“Uh, thanks, I’ll change into it later.”
He nodded as I put it in my backpack.
“You know you didn't have to do that.” I reminded him.
“Well there’s a lot of stuff I don’t have to do, but I do it because I want to, and I wanted to help you out.”
He smiled, his face still warmer than an Arizona summer. I got a strange feeling in my chest at that moment, I still can’t tell if it was good or bad.
“Well, thanks, I'll give it back to you tomorrow.”
We talked a little more and he mentioned something that caught my attention.
“Have you heard about all the animals that have been turning up dead?”
My eyes widened with surprise.
“No, I haven't, when did you hear about that?”
He pulled on his long-sleeve shirt.
“My sister said her friend who works at a shelter noticed a bunch of animals were getting adopted by people around the same time, and since then gore videos with them have been showing up. She found out through her co-worker who was emailed it by some random creep.”
I covered my mouth and looked away to hide the smile growing on my face. He had just given me the perfect cover-up without knowing. Now if I killed an animal people had an entire violent ring to connect it to instead of me! I stayed quiet for a minute because I could tell he’d likely see through any phony sad sounds I made.
“Oh wow, that’s awful, do you think they’ll ever find out the people behind it?”
He sighed, running his hand through his wavy hair.
“I hope so, for now, all we can do is pray that no more animals get hurt.”
I couldn't contain my grin as he said that so sincerely like animals and people didn't die constantly and that taking down one group would somehow stop the issue.
“Is there some joke I don’t get?” he furrowed his brow.
“Uh, no, sorry I smile when nervous.”
His gaze softened again, and he didn't press further.
His bringing up the animal killings ended up being the exact push I needed to get my hands dirty. I’d spent the entire day before planning so it was time to put that plan into action. I stole some cat treats that the cat man had laid out and spread them around my apartment which was on the bottom floor. Waiting for one of them to take the bate outside my window was pretty boring but one of them came after a few minutes. A scraggly brown and black cat with a tuft of fur missing on one side of his head. It's messed up but I felt like a little less of an asshole for taking him in since he looked like he was already struggling. I scooped him up and he didn't attempt to fight back.
“Hey there buddy” I waved, feeding him some more food. His eyes had a lot of crust on them, it was kinda gross but I don’t have the right to say with how often I wash my jeans. After a minute or two he let me pet him. I knew making any kind of attachment was bad but I thought it was the right thing to do so he’d fall into a sense of security. I was just about to take him into my room when the door opened.
“Hey, I’m back with groceries!” my shithead cousin announced with two plastic bags in his hands. He looked down to see me with the cat, his eyebrows raising.
“Aw come on, you know we can’t afford a pet.”
He groaned placing the bags on a table and unloading them.
“I know, but he doesn't look like he’s got a lot of life in him I at least want to help him feel better before he kicks the bucket!”
Brick rolled his eyes, putting the cereal box on top of the fridge
“Jeez, did you even think about what diseases he might have? His eyes look puffy what if he has something that can get you sick?”
He had valid concerns which was surprising since he’s usually stupid, but I was still annoyed with him.
“I’m sure he’s fine, I’ll even try to wash him, just please let me hold onto him for a little.”
He folded his arms looking down at us.
“Have you even named him?”
I froze for a second, before using the first thing that came to mind, which ended up being pretty awful knowing my plans.
“Cash cow.” I blurted, awkwardly patting his head.
“Honestly that’s better than what I was expecting. I was sure you’d pick ‘Hellspawn Mcgee’ or something else corny.”
He meant to make fun of me but honestly, I would have named him that if I had more time.
“Ugh, anyway I got those dumb chips you like.”
He then pulled out a bag of the wrong chips.
“Dude those are the wrong ones, this is the third time you’ve mixed up the flavors.”
He threw them at me, scaring the cat slightly.
“Well, I pay for it so you shouldn't be so picky. Anyway, while I was in line I picked up something you might be into.”
He then tossed me a trashy teen magazine. One of my least favorite sorry excuses for an influencer on the cover.
“This is a joke, right?”
I couldn't believe my own adopted brother gave such little shit in my interests.
“I don't know, you decided to start being a girl for real this time so I thought the makeup tips on page ten would help you out.”
I scrunched my face at his comment.
“Dude I’ve been this way for years, just because I started wearing more makeup and dresses doesn't mean I’m more of a girl than when I didn't. I know you won’t get the two-spirit thing but come on.”
He shrugged, seeing me done with me even though he’d just shown up.
“Yeah well hey I’m trying. Anyway, just so you know a friend of mine is coming here Friday.”
My heart stopped.
“Wait why here? You live elsewhere why can’t you assholes go there or their place!”
He slammed his fist on the table.
“Will you shut the fuck up!”
He screamed with a phrase I’d grown numb to.
“I don't know, to be honest, something about wanting to move into this complex and this being a way to scout it out. I’m just letting you know now so you don’t act like a complete freak.”
“Jokes on you I’ll piss in whatever shitty beer you bring just cause you said that!”
I yelled back raising my voice higher than his. He face-palmed before putting the plastic bags in the drawer under the sink.
“Whatever, you and your ketamine-addict-looking cat have fun,” he told me while seating himself on the couch. I picked up the cat and walked into the bathroom to clean it. I closed the door and placed him in the dry tub. Using a small disposable mouthwash cup I got a little bit of water. I hadn't had a pet before so I wasn't sure how to approach the task. I dipped my fingers in the water and carefully pet it while pouring s small bit down his back. Any other cat would fight back but he just made pissed-off noises without doing anything.
I scrapped my old shampoo bottle and kneaded it into his thin fur. His skin was bumpy and dry beneath the hair so scrubbing it was uncomfortable. I made sure to avoid getting soap in its eyes but I did pull away some of the crust on its lids. His pupils were so clouded I was surprised that he could see at all, making me feel even more sure that he would be on its way out with or without me.
After drying him I set him on a beat-up shirt I wore when modifying clothes. He sunk his claws into it a few times, playing with a loose string. I ignored him for the rest of the night, hopping into the shower and changing for bed. His meows woke me up a few times but I tuned it out after a while, reminding myself that he wouldn’t be my cat for long.
The next day was Thursday and there wasn't a second that passed by where the weight of the murder I’d have to commit didn't weigh on me. I seriously shot myself in the foot by taking care of that scruffy, pubic hair pile. I was supposed to be hyped about killing it, after all, I’d dreamed and seen way worse than what I was going to do. Yet once I got home and started setting up I felt grosser with each step. I decided to record it in my bathroom instead of my bedroom so it would be harder to connect to me. I set down a few fabric scraps and a worn-out beach towel, placing it all inside a tub for easier cleanup later.
“Okay, I guess it's time,” I mumbled to myself. I brought the cat in and placed it down, setting up my camera once it was comfortable. I also wore my most generic clothes in addition to a mask, putting my hair in a bun for sanitation. When I saw the flicker of red showing that the camera was on I felt I was dreaming. I smiled, excited that I’d get to live out my violent desires. Yet, when I looked down at its pathetic frame and confused expression those urges left me.
I rationalized what I was doing, reminding myself how many animals die all the time and that I’d been forced into this, but it didn't help much in the end. I won’t get into it but under the pressure of impressing the group Cash Cow didn't go out as fast as I would have liked for a first task. Getting rid of the evidence was especially rough, the textures were pretty nasty, to put it mildly. It was surreal watching the blood go down the tub drain and gradually drip off my hands as I rinsed them. I couldn't conjure a single thought the entire time I cleaned it up.
Whether I was wringing out the clothes or putting the remains in plastic bags, it didn't matter. All I could focus on was the task at hand, with hints of disgust along the way. I ended up finishing at three AM. My hands were wrinkled and shook once I settled. I won’t deny that during the murder I didn't hate it. Slashing into something was fun and it made me feel strong. Still, it wasn't nearly as fulfilling as I expected it to be. Part of it was guilt, but it was mostly disappointment. I’d built it up for years and it wasn't earth shatteringly good or bad.
Overall, I expected to feel more, but it just left me hollow with an uncomfortable itch. There was no way I’d ever be able to see the tub the same way, hell I don’t think I’ll ever use it again. Luckily I almost always shower anyway so it's not too big of a deal. I watched a few horror game videos, trashed everything, changed and went to bed.
My scalp hurt like a bitch the morning since I kept my hair in that stupid bun. Despite getting less sleep than the past two days I held myself together a bit better in the morning. I brushed my teeth, changed, and had some fried bread before getting on the bus. Regardless I looked like complete shit and struggled to slump into my seat.
“Rough night?” Abdul asked
“Uh, yeah.” I quietly responded looking to the floor.
He frowned, looking at me with concern.
“You can talk about it if you're comfortable,” he assured me. I contemplated giving him a thinly veiled metaphor or vague explanation so he'd comfort me but stopped myself before my mouth could run a muck. He wouldn't be able to do much of anything and I don’t like opening up.
“Uhm, thanks but it's something I have to deal with alone.”
He nodded, respecting my boundaries.
“You know, I understand if you can’t hang out today it seems like you have a lot going on.”
I avoided eye contact with him as he spoke. For once I was feeling hints of guilt toward a person. I wanted to spend time with him, but I knew that I wasn't in the state to do that.
“Yeah, I think it’ll have to wait, I’m-” I cut myself off before apologizing. A fact about me that should surprise no one is that I hate apologizing. Even when I do feel kinda bad the act fills me with embarrassment.
“You what?” he asked, his eyes telling me that he knew what I was going to say.
“I’m emotionally not great.” I spat out in an admittedly poor attempt to get out of saying sorry. As always he remained calm but I could tell he saw through me.
“Okay, like I said I understand, whatever it is I hope you feel better.”
I told him thank you and we didn't speak for the rest of the day. At home I changed into more comfortable clothes and brushed my teeth. Unfortunately, I wasn't bouncing back from killing nearly as much as I expected.
“It wasn't even that bad! That thing was on its last legs anyway.” I grumbled to myself, smacking my forehead. I was feeling worse than when I did it which is weird. I ended up spontaneously decorating a ratty tie from the bottom of an accessory drawer to distract myself. It helped me get my mind off things, for a little. I had zero plan, just wanting to make something needlessly complex. Hours that felt like minutes passed and soon it was covered in patches, frills, and beads. I just tried it on when I heard the front door open.
“Man, that shit was wild!” I heard Brick laugh groggily. I didn't have to see or smell him to know he’d gotten lit. I rolled my eyes, closing my bedroom door.
“Hey, who’s there?” his friend asked, seemingly referring to me.
“Oh, that’s my little sis, don’t mind her she’s just on her emo shit!” he joked, which pissed me off for the petty reason that I didn't even listen or dress emo.
“Hey, that’s alright with me, I went through one of those phases,” they responded, their words less slurred than my cousin’s.
I fucked up and forgot to lock it when I closed it so they were able to swing it open, almost smacking my desk.
“Hey emo girl!” they waved as Brick haphazardly pulled them back.
“Okay, man, seriously I think she wants to be left alone.”
The way his friend looked at me made me uncomfortable. Like they’d snap my neck if I pissed them off. They clicked their tongue while stepping through the door frame.
“Alright, but I gotta say calling her an emo is inaccurate, they look like they watch gore and most emos just say they do.” they flashed a sharp toothy grin. At that moment I began to connect the dots.
“Easy, she’ll get pissy with you dude, now come on.” Brick warned tugging their opened button pushed him away. They looked me dead in the eyes.
“I don’t think she minds, in truth, I feel like we’ll have a lot to discuss later.” they smiled again, finally walking back into the living room. A chill ran up my spine when I saw them. The sharp teeth, New York accent, unsettling gaze, that motherfucker was the person who recruited me! They were able to get into my place so easily cause my dumbass cousin probably gave them a spare key or the opportunity to make one, and now they were a room away from me!
I dug my hands into my pillow as I contemplated what to do, no matter what happened next, I knew it was gonna be a rough visit.

As stated in the bottom of this paragraph lol, you MUST send an introduction of who you are , from age, location, what you’re looking for ? I will not respond to a “ hi or hey” . Also no low karma users . Non - blocker and non-ghosters only..
Just A femboy looking for a serious ltr , so I’ll get to the point 🤗. I’m not here for the games , or ghosting . I’m here for something long term. Dating apps don’t work for me sadly.
Located: Texas . Willing to move to another state or have my future partner live with me .
Appearance :
A thick black femboy who loves dressing up sometimes . Height : 5’3. I wear glasses to read manga . My style is mostly goth/casual clothes from mostly anime shirts and chokers.
💙My hobbies:

• Anime : Some of my favorites animes are Tokyo ghoul , Sword Art Online , Yuri on ice , Future Diary, JJK, MHA, Yaoi(Love stage , Sasaki and Miyano)
• Manga : I’ve completed so many mangas from yaoi , Ouran high school host club , berserk , ect .
• Cosplay : I’ve done Pokémon & a Tokyo Ghoul cosplay before .
• Anime cons: I’ve been to at least 11 anime/Comic cons.
• Dueling (Yu-Gi-Oh!)
• Pokémon
• Yaoi
• Pc gaming
• Overwatch. I love this game have over 500 hrs .
• Marvel/DC
• Tv drama : The Vampire Diaries , Supernatural, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, The 100.
• Horror- big fan of tv shows , movies like AHS
• Consoles I have are : Ps5, Nintendo switch , psp, ps vita, Nintendo 3ds , wii, gameboy , ect .

🩷What im looking for in a Relationship🩷

• [ ] Monogamous
• [ ] Single
• [ ] Loyalty
• [ ] Communication
• [ ] No kids
• [ ] Open-minded
• [ ] Common interest : Nerdy (Anime, Games, Star Wars or anything nerdy)
• [ ] Sure on what you want
• [ ] Mature
• [ ] 21+ in age

▶️MY TYPE:
TALL (taller than my own height) , very communicative, masculine(mostly beards and body hair) gamers/anime nerds. These are just preferences not a deal breaker .
✅Ps: for compatibility reasons I’m a 100% bottom.
If you made it this far, please message me an introduction about yourself. This is extremely important as it tells me alot about you and for me to give you a well detailed response. Mostly a name to call you , hobbies, location (state wise) and what you’re looking for . You may send pics in the first message if you may like 😊

Are you looking to take your SEO skills to the next level?

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Key Takeaways

• Gain exclusive access to industry expertise and insider knowledge within The SEO Boardroom community.
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Who is Julian Goldie?

Julian Goldie is a leading figure in the SEO arena, known for his expertise in helping website owners and agencies achieve first-page rankings through advanced SEO strategies. With a remarkable background in digital marketing and a keen eye for search engine optimization trends, Julian Goldie has made significant contributions to the SEO community. His wealth of experience has enabled him to develop cutting-edge techniques that have proven highly effective in optimizing websites for increased visibility and traffic. Julian's impact extends beyond individual websites; he has empowered countless agencies to enhance their clients' online presence and secure prominent positions in search engine results.

What is The SEO Boardroom?

The SEO Boardroom is an exclusive online community founded by Julian Goldie that offers a wealth of resources, including case studies, online courses, and personalized coaching, to help members excel in the competitive SEO landscape. The SEO Boardroom is a hub where SEO professionals and website owners unite to gain valuable insights, share best practices, and stay ahead in the ever-evolving digital marketing realm. With an emphasis on fostering a collaborative environment, members can engage in lively discussions, seek advice from industry experts, and stay updated on the latest trends through cutting-edge workshops and webinars. Through interactive tools and resources, users can enhance their technical SEO skills, implement data-driven strategies, and optimize their online presence for maximum visibility and ROI.

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Why is The SEO Boardroom the Best SEO Community?

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Exclusive Access to Expertise

The SEO Boardroom offers unparalleled access to industry-leading expertise, with insights and strategies shared by Julian Goldie and other SEO experts, empowering members to stay ahead in the ever-evolving SEO landscape. Being part of The SEO Boardroom gives individuals direct access to a wealth of knowledge and experience that can significantly impact their SEO success. The platform fosters a knowledge-sharing culture where members can learn from each other's experiences and collaborate on innovative strategies. Expert contributions from seasoned professionals provide valuable insights into the latest industry trends and best practices, offering a unique opportunity for continuous learning and professional growth. The educational opportunities within The SEO Boardroom help members enhance their skills and stay at the forefront of SEO advancements, ensuring their competitiveness in the digital marketing arena.

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Constantly Updated Content

The SEO Boardroom ensures that its members have access to the latest SEO trends, strategies, and case studies through regularly updated content, keeping them informed and equipped to adapt to the dynamic digital landscape. One of the core strategies of The SEO Boardroom involves a commitment to constantly monitoring industry trends and algorithm updates to provide members with cutting-edge insights. By staying abreast of SEO best practices, the boardroom ensures that its content remains relevant and impactful in driving success for its members' digital endeavors. Members benefit from a curated selection of articles, videos, and webinars that delve into various facets of SEO and content creation. The emphasis is on empowering members to apply these insights practically in their SEO strategies.

Interactive Community

The SEO Boardroom fosters an engaging and interactive community where members can network, collaborate, and exchange ideas, creating a supportive environment for sharing experiences and insights within the SEO domain. Through regular discussions, workshops, and online forums, The SEO Boardroom offers a platform for professionals to connect with like-minded individuals in the digital marketing world. Members have the opportunity to expand their knowledge through peer-to-peer learning, gain fresh perspectives on industry trends, and receive valuable feedback on their strategies. This collaborative environment not only enhances each member's skills and expertise but also cultivates lasting relationships and partnerships that can lead to professional growth and success.

Personalized Coaching and Support

Members of The SEO Boardroom receive personalized coaching and support from industry experts, enabling them to address specific challenges, refine their strategies, and achieve their SEO goals with tailored guidance and assistance. The coaching and support services offered by The SEO Boardroom go beyond just providing general advice. Members have access to one-on-one mentoring sessions where they can dive deep into their unique issues and receive guidance that is tailored to their individual needs. This personalized approach allows for a more effective problem-solving process and fosters a sense of ownership over their SEO strategies. Mentorship opportunities are abundant within The SEO Boardroom community. Members can connect with seasoned professionals who offer guidance, feedback, and insights based on their years of experience in the field.

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What Do Members Have to Say About The SEO Boardroom?

Members of The SEO Boardroom have praised the community for its transformative impact on their websites, driving increased traffic, higher sales, and enhanced online visibility through the application of cutting-edge SEO strategies. One member, in a glowing testimonial, mentioned how joining The SEO Boardroom turned their struggling website into a top performer in their niche within months. Another member highlighted how the invaluable insights and support from the community helped them navigate Google's algorithm updates smoothly, resulting in a steady climb in search engine rankings. Others expressed gratitude for the personalized guidance they received from experienced mentors, leading to a significant boost in organic reach and conversion rates.

How Much Does it Cost to Join The SEO Boardroom?

The cost of joining The SEO Boardroom varies depending on the membership tier chosen, with options tailored to suit the needs and budget of different professionals and website owners seeking to enhance their SEO expertise. Members can opt for the entry-level tier, which provides access to exclusive webinars, industry reports, and a private forum for networking with experts. For those looking for more comprehensive benefits, the premium tier offers personalized SEO audits, one-on-one coaching sessions, and early access to cutting-edge SEO tools and resources. Regardless of the tier chosen, all members enjoy priority support, discounted rates for SEO services, and invitations to annual SEO conferences, adding significant value to their membership.

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Is The SEO Boardroom Worth the Investment?

The SEO Boardroom proves its worth through tangible results, including increased website traffic, boosted sales conversions, and valuable networking opportunities that translate into a significant return on investment (ROI) for members seeking to elevate their online presence. Members of The SEO Boardroom benefit from the collective expertise and resources that lead to a marked uptick in organic search traffic, reflected in tangible metrics and analytics. This increased visibility not only drives more qualified leads but also enhances brand recognition and credibility, setting the stage for long-term growth. The strategic collaborations and partnerships forged within the networking forums of The SEO Boardroom pave the way for mutually beneficial business relationships, opening doors to new opportunities and potential ventures.

Increased Traffic and Rankings

Members of The SEO Boardroom witness a notable increase in website traffic and improved search engine rankings, attributing their success to the strategic guidance, expert advice, and actionable insights provided within the community. Joining The SEO Boardroom has been a game-changer for many website owners, as they discover that implementing the recommended practices can lead to a surge in organic traffic. The diverse range of success stories shared by fellow members serves as inspiring testimonials to the effectiveness of the community's SEO strategies. Within this supportive environment, individuals find innovative ways to enhance their online visibility and climb the search engine result pages. It's fascinating how even small tweaks suggested by experienced members can yield substantial improvements in website rankings.

Valuable Networking Opportunities

The SEO Boardroom offers valuable networking opportunities for members to connect with industry professionals, exchange ideas, and forge meaningful partnerships that can lead to collaborations, business growth, and enhanced visibility within the SEO community. In this exclusive platform, members have the chance to build strong connections with like-minded individuals and top experts in the field. The collaborative environment of The SEO Boardroom fosters a sense of community among participants, enabling them to share insights, best practices, and the latest trends in the ever-evolving world of search engine optimization. By engaging in these interactive discussions and knowledge-sharing sessions, members can gain valuable industry insights, stay updated on the latest algorithm changes, and expand their professional network to enhance their career prospects and business opportunities. The SEO Boardroom truly serves as a hub for fostering partnerships, nurturing relationships, and staying at the forefront of SEO industry developments.

Return on Investment (ROI)

Members of The SEO Boardroom experience a significant return on investment (ROI) through the enhanced visibility, increased website traffic, and improved sales performance that result from leveraging the resources, training, and support available within the community. By collaborating with industry experts and like-minded professionals, they gain valuable insights on the latest trends, algorithms, and techniques that directly impact their organic search rankings and overall digital presence. The community serves as a platform for exchanging ideas, sharing best practices, and receiving personalized guidance, leading to accelerated growth and scalability for their businesses.

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Conclusion: Why The SEO Boardroom is the Best Choice for SEO Professionals

In conclusion, The SEO Boardroom emerges as the top choice for SEO professionals and website owners seeking to excel in the digital landscape, offering a unique blend of expertise, community support, and resources curated by Julian Goldie to drive success and achieve first-page rankings. One of the main advantages of choosing The SEO Boardroom lies in its holistic approach to SEO education. Not only does it provide cutting-edge techniques and strategies to stay ahead of the constantly evolving algorithms, but it also fosters a sense of belonging within a vibrant community of like-minded individuals. This supportive environment enables members to share insights, troubleshoot challenges, and celebrate successes together, creating a network that fuels continuous learning and growth.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is The SEO Boardroom by Julian Goldie Review? The SEO Boardroom by Julian Goldie Review is a comprehensive review of the popular SEO community created by Julian Goldie. It provides an in-depth analysis of the features, benefits, and potential drawbacks of the community for those looking to join or learn more about it.
Who is Julian Goldie and why did he create The SEO Boardroom? Julian Goldie is a highly successful SEO expert and entrepreneur who has achieved great success in the online marketing world. He created The SEO Boardroom as a way to share his knowledge, connect with other like-minded professionals, and provide a platform for others to learn and grow their businesses through SEO strategies.
What sets The SEO Boardroom apart from other SEO communities? The SEO Boardroom is unique in its approach to SEO education and community building. It focuses on a combination of practical strategies, insider tips and tools, and a supportive community of experienced professionals who are dedicated to helping each other succeed.
Is The SEO Boardroom suitable for beginners? While The SEO Boardroom is primarily geared towards experienced professionals, it also offers resources and support for beginners. The community is welcoming and inclusive, and members are encouraged to ask questions and learn from each other.
What kind of resources and tools are available in The SEO Boardroom? The SEO Boardroom offers a wide range of resources and tools, including training courses, live Q&A sessions, expert interviews, case studies, and access to exclusive SEO tools. Members also have the opportunity to network and collaborate with other professionals in the community.
Is The SEO Boardroom worth the investment? Based on our research and experience, we believe that The SEO Boardroom is definitely worth the investment. The community offers valuable resources, support, and networking opportunities for professionals in the SEO industry. Plus, with a 30-day money-back guarantee, there is minimal risk in trying it out for yourself.

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I am still a 29 year old kissless virigin. I go to the gym, have a good job, take care of my and so on.
So I have been trying really hard to date for the last 2-3 years. I used all dating apps, went to all kinds of meetups and started to cold approach. I had zero romantic success so far.
I decided to do double down on my efforts in the last few weeks. I "touched grass" every day of the month so far. I did at least one cold approach every day, tried to go to as many parties and events as possible and swipped every woman on Tinder in a 100 km radius (I am paying for premium).
The results so far are terrible. Of course on the dating apps I get almost no matches. And even if I get matches most of them are fake or do not reply to my opening message. And even the few matches who reply to my first opening message ghost me after like the third message and show zero interest in the conversation from the start.
Okay but that is online dating right? If you meet women in real life it is way different right? I mean that is what people online tell me all the time: "Just touch grass bro".
So from my RL approaches this month I got 5 phone numbers. Two never replied to my first message, the other 2 took forever to reply and showed zeroooo interest in keeping the conversation going and one just ghosted me in the middle of a good conversation without any explanation whatsoever.
And it is crazy how much effort it took for me to even get those numbers. You have to endure so much rejection to even get to this point. The most common rejection is obviously "I have a boyfriend".
The second most common rejection in my experience is that they show to you from the very first sentence you speak that they do not want to talk to you at all.
But the one type of "rejection" that hurt the most I call "the condescending one". Usually happens in the baclub setting when I approach a group of women. For context I am short and have a baby face problem. People sometimes think I am 19 or a teenager with early hair loss.
So what happens when I approach is that the woman will talk to me, but in the conversation I notice that she and her friends are making fun of me. They usually make more than one comment on how young I look and how they can not believe I am 29. The giggle a lot and the overall vibe in these situations is like "look at him, how he tries to approach us. He really thinks he has a chance hehe". If I notice that kind of vibe I leave the situation and do not even bother to ask for a number or anything.
At this point I feel a deep sense of total defeat. I know the general advice is to just keep going and keep trying. But if I am honest to myself I need to stop. I can not do this anymore. The rejections, the ghosting, the friendzone experiences... they never stop. And all this shit without a single win. It feels like I am beating my head against the wall. Maybe I really need to accept that I am completely unwanted by women.
TL;DR: Tried everything, no more energy, accepting defeat, waiting for AI girlfriend?