Hi, I need advice as I am really struggling with my feelings of insecurity with my girlfriend of nearing 2 years.
Just to give you all a background, I have a huge insecurity or fear of my partner leaving me all of a sudden. I guess you have to first hear our story for you to know why.
My girlfriend and I met in a wedding. It was her wedding actually. It was sort of an immense (I know insane) attraction the moment that we laid eyes on each other - alam ko it sounds really unbelievable and like out of a fairy tale pero I know din na we really hurt people (dont get me started na I know na off ung decision namen but I don't regret it all because I am extremely happy).
Paikliin ko ung story for anyone curious (if hindi curious diretso nalang sa next paragraph) - I was invited as a +1 ng ex-boyfriend ko nun sa wedding (it was supposed to be a ceremony with her ex-fiance (ex-girlfriend niya)) I was introduced to her the 2 days before sa resort where we stayed (not in the PH obviously) and like I said we really hit it off, para kaming old friends na tumatawa at nageenjoy ng each other company - all wholesome ito by the way and it was all so innocent na nobody even took a second glance at us. I guess everything really changed nung nagkataon na kaming dalawa lang sa breakfast buffet ng resort at 6am in the morning 1 day before their wedding (I remember this fondly kasi both our ex partners and our families used to hate waking up early just for breakfast buffets and sabi namin dati lagi lang kami magisa kumakain kasi walang ibang gustong sumama) and we talked about our deeper thoughts, plans, and feelings. Idk who started the topic pero we found ourselves talking about soulmates and I kid you not kinilabutan kami pareho the moment we spoke about the topic parang nagkaron ng static sa air and parang nag HD ung mga bagay bagay. Pero wala naman nangyari nung time na yun walang usap or whatever and we parted ways nung tapos na kami magbuffet. Nagulat nalang ako nung 8pm on that same day tinawag niya ko sa lobby while everyone was having dinner and papunta nako sana duon - ang sabi lang niya sakin - are you in or out? Like walang context pero I know what she meant and syempre since andito na tayo so I said "I'm in" nung sinabi ko yon parang natanggal sa chest ko ung hindi ko namamalayang bato na nakapatong dun. Long story short, we ran away a night before her wedding (nagleave ng letter and we let her parents know kasi super close siya - dito ako nasurprise kasi kahit shocked sila at nagalit pero nung nakita nila ung mukha ng gf ko now they understood and niyakap lang and sinabihan siyang sila na ang bahala) and the rest is history (mahaba haba pa ang pinagdaanan namin kwento ko if may chance pa next time)
Sure ako walang reddit ung gf ko kaya confident magpost. Honestly sure na akong siya na ang the one for me. I am thinking about proposing already she has given me all assurances and security (like I am not kidding this girl makes my life feel so sureal) and never once has she made me doubt her love for me. Pero may fear ako na if I propose what if the same thing happens. My real question is - is my insecurity justified?

It's been 4 months pero wala kasi akong mapagsabihan kaya dito nalang.
I [F25] have a guy "bestfriend" [M25] since highschool. We were 14 nung naging friends kami so, more or less, 11 years na kaming magkakilala. I put the "" on the bestfriend kasi after namin grumaduate ng senior highschool, medyo nagdrift apart kami and I don't think we deserve to call each other bestfriends after not talking for years, specifically our entire college years, and after he tried to kiss me recently.
For context lang, nung first year college kami, medyo okay pa kami. Nag-uusap pa at lumalabas pa. Nagbago lang nung nagka girlfriend siya. Sobrang excited kaya ako for him kasi he was quite a pain in the ass and mej playboy kaya I was super happy he found someone whom he genuinely loves and loves him back. Nung una excited pa kaming dalawa kasi ipapakilala niya raw ako at sure siyang siya na yung the one niya ganun. But then after awhile, he just stopped talking to me. Okay lang naman kasi busy din ako sa acads non so di ko dinamdam. Baka siya rin kasi busy diba + basketball player pa siya sa uni at other liga niya non kaya baka walang time, so no hard feelings talaga.
Until last year ko na and graduating na 'ko (last year, 2023), he started replying on my stories, most of which puro compliments and may implications na gusto niyang maghang out. Syempre nirereplyan ko replies nya sa stories ko hanggang sa nagka chika chika kami kung ano na bang nangyari sa 'min these past years. Ayun, nagbreak sila nung ex nya and when he directly asked me to hang out, pumayag ako.
During that hangout, nagkwento lang siya about sa ex nya, kung anong nangyari. It turns out pinagseselosan pala ako ni ante! Samantalang ako excited pa non kasi akala ko magkaka new friend ako :') Later that night, ako naman ginigisa niya. Bakit daw wala pa 'kong boyfriend, sayang naman ganda ko eme eme. May boyfriend [M22] ako, 'di ko lang sinabi sa kaniya. 6 months na kami ng boyfriend ko noon. Though nagpaalam naman ako sa boyfriend ko na lalabas ako kasama yung gbf ko at pumayag siya. 'Di ko lang sinasabi sa gbf ko kasi close siya sa fam ko, lalo na sa pinsan ko, at ayokong madulas siya ng sabi sa kanila at maunahan akong magsabi sa kanila. ANYWAY, dinidivert ko lang topic far from my dating life at nagkukuwento nalang about ibang bagay like our new dog. Habang dumadaldal ako, napansin kong nakatitig lang siya sa 'kin so instinctively, tumigil akong magkwento tas tinanong ko siya kung anong problema nya. Hindi siya sumagot and instead, the bitch leaned forward and tried to fxcking kiss me! Mabuti mabilis reflexes ko at nakaiwas ako agad so he ended up kissing my neck instead.
After that, sobrang nagshift yung atmosphere at ng convo namin. I confronted him, silently and calmly, kasi nagulat ako sa ginawa niya. He did not apologize and proceeded to tell me na he needs a good time to get over his ex. Ayaw nya na ng serious relationships. Casual hook ups nalang. Told him once, before I officially started dating my boyfriend, na ganon lang din gusto ko at naalala pa niya yun. He asked me if I'd wanna be FWB with him. I only gave him a simple no and told him to take me home.
I was so frustrated. I don't want to judge him as well kasi baka matino talaga siya nung sila pa nung ex niya, pero I wasn't able to stop myself from thinking na that guy "bestfriend" I was with was the same playboy bestfriend I had when we were in highschool. The same guy "bestfriend" who disappointed me in many ways back then.
You're probably wondering, yes, we had a history. Naging close kami nung highschool bc he dated one of my bestfriends back then. Hanggang sa 'di rin naman sila tumagal at nagbreak agad pero kami, we stayed friends and that was okay with my bestfriend. All throughout our highschool years, bestfriends kami nung guy na yun hanggang sa umamin siyang may gusto siya sa 'kin at tumagal 'yun hanggang sa grumaduate kami ng senior highschool. 'Di ko siya pinansin for two reasons: (1) I really only saw him as a friend and ang weird na magkagusto ako sa ex ng bestfriend ko lol, and (2) sobrang problematic niya with relationships and I don't wanna risk our friendship for that kaya naging firm ako sa mindset na he and I will never be anything more than friends.
Hanggang ngayon disappointed pa rin ako. Pinagdiinan ko pa sa ibang friends namin, even sa boyfriend ko, na possible ang purely platonic na male and female friendships. Umasa kasi ako na pareho na kaming mature enough para hindi na maging yung highschool self namin at talagang magiging friends nalang kami ngayon. But I was wrong obviously and seeing na hindi niya pinag-isipan 'yung gagawin nya at magiging effect ng actions nya once he kissed me, they are clear indications na our friendship does not really matter to him that much. Otherwise, why would he risk doing something so stupid? Samantalang ako, tinago at isinantabi ko 'yung pagkaurat ko sa kaniya since high school para hindi na maging mas complicated at lalong mastrain yung friendship namin.
I already blocked my guy "bestfriend" and that raised concerns from our other friends. Isang struggle pa yan when you kept your circle of friends since highschool. Lahat damay-damay at concerned. Pero sa ngayon, 'di ko sila pinapansin, ang problema ko ay kung paano sasabihin sa boyfriend ko yung nangyari. I feel guilty kahit wala naman akong ginawang masama, other than agreeing to meet up with my guy "bestfriend".
I would appreciate some advice because while I may seem poised about the situation, I'm honestly still lost and unsure. Mali ba 'yung ginawa kong nakipagkita ako despite our history? Highschool pa siya but still, there was that. Also, any advice about how I should approach the issue with my friends? Ang hirap kasi na iisa ang circle of friends namin. Ayoko naman magkaroon ng rift ang circle namin just because nagkaroon na ng kampihan. As for my boyfriend, I'm not worried much because I'll just be honest with him. Kung papatawarin niya ba 'ko or hindi, nasa sa kaniya na 'yun at rerespetuhin ko.
Yun lang, thank you.

She betrayed me not once in the span of our friendship. We were friends since shs but now I don't want to be her friend anymore. Cinut off ko siya silently kasi wala akong lakas ng loob para itotally block siya sa buhay ko. We occasionally chat but that's just it, di na ako nagpapakita sa kanya, di ko na siya sinisipot, hell, di ko na rin siya binabati tuwing birthday niya. Iba na ang lifestyle niya ngayon at prefer ko na ng tahimik at peaceful na buhay.
The reason I cut her off is because nung first time medyo lumuwag during pandemic nag aya agad siya pumunta sa bahay ng isa naming friend, ang reason niya ay sobrang bored na raw siya sa bahay nila at gusto niyang gumala. the truth behind that is, gusto niya lang naman makipagkita sa jowa niya na kapitbahay lang nung friend namin, ayaw siya payagan ng mama niya kung hindi ako kasama kasi wala siyang alibi. pumayag naman ako kasi minsan lang naman lalabas ng bahay (yeah I know dumb). then comes the day na pupunta na kami, kaso manganganak yung tita ko at kailangan ng bantay sa clinic. di pwede mga kapatid ko kasi puro bata at ang asawa niya ay may kailangan asikasuhin regarding din sa panganganak. kaya kahit wala pa akong tulog nun from work sumama talaga ako kay tita papuntang clinic para samahan siya manganak.
I let her know about the situation pero hindi siya naniwala, I sent her pictures and promised her na next time nalang kasi emergency naman yung nangyari and we didn't expect that to happen. si ex-friend nakipag f.o agad and went behind my back to tell our other friend (the one na may gusto sakin) regarding my personal love life. nakakainis kasi I trusted her that I shared my personal love life to her and to keep it as a secret muna dun sa friend namin na nagkakagusto sakin kasi I want to personally say it to them at ipaintindi na iba yung gusto ko. super twisted ng story na sinabi niya at sobrang nasaktan si friend. I know either way masakit malaman na may gustong iba yung gusto mo but I want to personall explain to them how I feel about them and to the person I love. sinira lang lahat ni ex-friend.
simula nun madalang ko nalang siyang kinausap at sinasamahan kasi I feel super betrayed hanggang ngayon. pinupush niya pa rin kami ni friend while knowing na may current bf ako so I cut her off na talaga.
Sometimes lang nanghihinayang ako sa friendship namin kasi I invested real feelings kasi ganun yung trato niya sakin. She's living her best life right now but I hope she'll get her karma din someday.

15 years ago, it was my first day of training at a BPO along Ayala Ave. I was late that time so when I went inside the traing room, all of them are looking at me and it's really embarassing. I saw this guy, chinito and moreno and there's no other seat available aside sa tabi nya. Since I have no choice, I have to seat beside him. Pasimple ako sumusulyap sa kanya. He's cute, makapal kilay, matangos ilong, medyo dark ang lips and I was thinking, Ah! Smoker to. But he smell good. Parang fresh from the shower ang scent.
I can say i'm an ambivert. "Tahimik lang sa umpisa". But he is an introvert. I can tell it kahit one week pa lang ang training namen kasi he only talks to me using his notebook. Yes, we "talk" pero sulat sa notebook ang means of communication namen. I'm a funny girl kaya siguro ako ang trip lang nya kausap sa wave namen. Maybe he's being careful din coz he has a girlfriend that time. Different account but same company.
So long story short, naging close kame. Then one night, break namen, he asked me na samahan sya magyosi sa labas. Since crush ko sya, I said, "okay". He then confessed to me that he likes me. I was shocked not because he confessed his feelings. I was shocked because he asked me if we can be in a relationship since he felt din na I like him. I know it's mali pero nanaig ang pagiging malandi and I said YES.
Months passed and we're happy. I introduced him to my friends and family. Then, I found out I was pregrant. I thought delayed lang because of PCOS but we consulted with an OB Gyne and it really is positive. He cried and told me na he's not yet ready to be a father. I was devastated but I accepted it because I love him. He was still in a relationship with his original girlfriend that time and everytime magkakasalubong kame, it really hurts! Fuckin hurts!
He then told me his plans of working in Singapore. Dami nyang plans. Good thing is kasama "daw" kame ng anak nya sa plano nya. He wants to work there para makapag ipon for our future. I was so happy that time. He also told me na he broke up with his girlfriend.
First few months, we're okay. Although may Facebook na that time, he prefers daw na we communicate via email na lang kasi di pa daw sya nakakabili ng phone and naniwala naman ako. But I was wrong.
I don't know but maybe women's intuition. I know something is not right. I can feel it. Then I stalked his "ex girlfriend's" account and that's when I saw his picture... with his girlfriend... in Singapore... and they looked happy. Bakat din ang cellphone sa bulsa ng pants nya. That's when I realized everything.. na kaya pala gusto nya via email lang kame mag contact kasi constant din ang pagpunta ng girlfriend nya sa SG. Na siguro kaya ayaw nya ibigay un phone number kasi he knows na I will call or text him all the time. I don't care if mahal ang magagastos sa call and text. I was so mad that I sent him an email and asking him to choose between me and his girlfriend. My emotions were high that time and nakapag salita ako ng masasakit sa kanya. I even cursed him. He replied and told me to give him time to think. I said okay. 3 days passed and he said mag log in sa google chat so we can talk. He did not answer my question kung sino mas matimbang. But I won't forget what he told me. Na "Pag nagtanong na yun bata kung nasaan ako, ang sabihin mo patay na ako". He then logged out after that. At never na nagparamdam at all.
My son is already 13 years old and I can say we are doing okay. We are surviving with the help of my parents kahit walang sustento ang sperm donor nya. I can buy him things na gusto nya. We go on vacation once in a while, we eat sa mga gusto nya kainan. And my mama heart is happy as long as we are together. By the way, I also found out that my ex got married in 2017 with a different girl.
Last year, I received a random message sa messenger asking how I was doing. The name seems off so I blocked it right away. Malay ko ba kung ang kasunod na message is mangungutang. Then 2 weeks ago, my brother videocalled me and asked me when was the last time na nakausap ko ang Ex ko. I told him, sobrang tagal na. He fowarded me screenshots of messages from my ex. Asking my brother kung kamusta na kame ng anak ko. I froze, grabe kabog ng dibdib ko. Bigla ako napaisip, ano meron? Bat nagmemessage to? Akala ko ba patay na sya? Bat nabuhay?
Then I suddenly remembered, this is the same account who messaged me last year na nablock ko agad. I unblocked him and replied to his message. "Ano gusto mo pag usapan?" He replied after 2 days and just said na he wants to know kamusta na kame. And I was like, WHY??? BAKET KELANGAN MO MALAMAN KUNG KAMUSTA NA KAME? I have so many questions pero I tried so hard na maging civil ang usapan namen. Kaso he triggers me. Na the way he talks to me is parang kasalanan ko lahat ng nangyari. Gusto ko sya murahin. Gusto ko sabihin na hindi sya biktima. Kung meron mang biktima dito, yun anak ko yun.
We talked for almost 5 hours and most of our conversation that time is puro sumbatan. I can't help it. He left me, he broke me and he married someone else kahit nag promise sya kay Mama na he'll be back. And his purpose for reaching out is because he wants to meet my Son. He wants his family to meet him. But why now? Why is that no one from his family tried reaching out to me? It's been 13 years. I was crying because it pains me. Bumalik lahat ng galit, ng sakit, ng trauma. He left me kasi duwag sya. I loved him... I cared for him... Pero puro sakit sa damdamin ang kapalit. Now I'm confused if he is worth meeting my son. Our son. I know he has the right, because he is the biological father. But it's also my right to protect my Son kung sakali na iwan sya ulit. Ayoko maranasan nya un sakit na naransan ko nun iniwan ako ng Ama nya. Pero ayoko din alisin ang karapatan ng anak ko na makilala nya ang tatay nya....

US markets has recently shifted from T+2 settlement to T+1 settlement. This will benefit cash (non-margin) accounts in IBKR (and possibly Gotrade). This means that in a sale of stock, hindi nyo na kailangan maghintay ng after 2 trading days before the proceeds of a stock sale becomes fully in your buying power. The cash should be settled back as buying power by the following trading day. Faster settlements will enable us to quickly change positions especially for those who buy/sell quite more often but without margin accounts.
For IBKR cash accounts, please check if your account has check in "United States (T+1 Settlement Program)". It can be accessed thru Trading Permissions.
Here are some articles for further reading:
* https://www.reuters.com/markets/us/wall-street-braces-faster-trade-settlement-2024-05-28/
* https://www.marketwatch.com/story/the-secs-t-1-settlement-rule-will-transform-stock-trading-heres-what-you-need-to-know-26799dda

American World Republic Thesis 2023__page 1.
(1) Turkish, Turkic States of America* (i) Anglo peoples are Iraq. (ii) Russian peoples are here. (iii) Puerto Rico replaces Alaska. (iv) Virginia peninsula & D.C. are part of Maryland. (v) Delaware is part of New Jersey & modern State of Jefferson replaces Delaware. (vi) Rhode Island becomes new capital district & KURIL islands replaces R.I. (vi) Northern Baja California annexed by California. (vii) San Luis Rio Colorado annexed by Yuma, AZ. (viii) Virginia is renamed Dagestan. (2) Brazil-Uruguay is Bantu, Javanese. (i) Portuguese peoples are there! (ii) Japanese peoples are there! (3) Canada is Cossack. (i) Uyghars are there. (4) Alaska is Rusyn. (5) Greenland is Norwegian. (5-A) Norway is Armenian. (5-B) Svalbard is also part of greater Norway. (6) Iceland is Icelander. (7) Novaya Zemlya is Lakota. (8) Cape Verde-Monaco-France is Frank. (9) United Kingdom is English. (10) Ireland is Danish. (11) Latvia-Estonia-Lithuania are Estonian, called Latvia. (12) Belarus is Bulgarian-Afrikaaner, called Prussia. (13) Ukraine is Yugoslav, called Lithuania. (i) Moldova, Crimea belong to Ukraine. (14) Poland is Polish.* (i) Kaliningrad to Poland. (15) Corsica-Italy-Yugoslavia is Romanian, Italian. (i) state is called Byzantium. (16) Switzerland is Dutch. (17) Antarctica is Olmec--extinct Giants!
(18) Mexico-Belize-Peten is Persian. (19) Central America [6 states] is Pashtun. (20) Cuba is Kurdish. (20-A) Jamaica is Houthi. (20-B) Hispaniola is Tajik. (21) Columbia is Hausa. (22) Venezuela is Berber. (22-A) Trinidad & Tobago is Pygmy. (23) SUR-GUI-GUY are Kanuri. (24) Ecuador is Nubian. (25) Peru is Sudanese. (26) Bolivia is Songhai. (27) Chile is Somalian. (28) Argentina is Ethiopian. (29) Paraguay is Kenyan. (30) Falklands is KhoiSan. (31-35) Central Asia [5 civilized tribes] are Aztec, Cherokee, Chickasaw, Choctaw, Seminole. (36) Afghanistan is Assyrian. (37) Pakistan is Bengali. (38) India is Dravidian. (i) Sri Lanka belongs to India and modern Assamese live there.
American World Republic Thesis 2023__page 2.
(39) West Bengal-Assam-Sikkim-Bangladesh is Manchu. (i) state is named Assam. (40) Portugal remains (Proto-Celt) Portuguese. (41) Papua New Guinea is Malagasy. (42) New Zealand is Polynesian. (i) named Taiwan, Zealandia was the continental shelf. (43) China is Chhetri, Kuomintang. (i) Formosa part of China. (ii) there are 39 African States plus Equtorial Guinea. (44) ONE KOREA. (45) Australia is Cantonese. (46) Sakhalin is Inuit. (i) this is the 5th main island of Japan. (47) Sunda islands remain Sundanese. (48) Arunachal Praedesh is now Bhutan Praedesh. (49) Northern Forrest of Democratic Republic of Congo divided for farmland, called Zaire, is Swiss/a French duchy. (50) Mountains of South Africa & Eswantini is Chakmasook, Romani. (51) Nepal is Aboriginal, Andean. (i) Madagascar is Kashmiri (Kho central island). (52) Zimbabwe is Mande. (i) BRICS gold supply is in Zimbabwe. (ii) Silver reserve in Kentucky supports petrodollar. (53) Vietnam is Vietnamese. (54) Cambodia is Khmer. (55) Laos is Laotian. (56) Thailand is Zhuang. (57) Myanmar is Burmese. (58) Malaysia is Malaysian. (59) Philippines is Filipino.
(60) Jordan, Sinai, Israel, Syria, Lebanon are called Greater Syria (al-Shem). (i) there are 10 United Gulf States total, this is one. (ii) Buy US debt from Japan NOT China. (iii) Iranian oil must be sold to Brazil. (iv) Iraq invests in Philippines for state differences. (v) Water retrieval from Antarctica! (61) Saudi Arabia is always Muslim. (62) Iraq and Kuwait are one Arab state. (i) Bahrain island now called British Kuwait. (ii) British Kuwait attached to the state of Syria in al-Shem, equivalent to "Palestine," 1948 British Zionist drawn Israel, Jordan, & Lebanon.
American World Republic Thesis 2023__ page 3.
(63-67) Turkey, and Oman, and UAE, and Iran, and New Bahrain are independent nation states also within "United Arab Gulf State" region. (i) New Bahrain is Qatar-Eastern desert of Saudi. (ii) al-Hasaka in today's Syria belongs to Turkiye. (68) Yemen is the Adamanese Confederation of Island Nations, primary population Adamanese, & official state remains Arabian. (69) Morocco owns Western Sahara until the Tropic of Cancer and is now Kru. (70) Gorgol, Guidi-Maka, Senegal, Gambia, Guinea-Bissau are Bhojpuri. (71) Sierra Leone, Liberia are Sindhi, Kalash. (72) Ghana, Togo are Garwali. (73) Nigeria, Benin are Benue-Congo. (74) Rwanda, Burundi, Tanzania are one Marathi. (75) Caprivi, Botswana are Adamawa Ubangian. (76) South Africa lowland & Lesotho are non-ethnic Malagasy people. (77) Ethiopia, Djibouti are Punjabi. (78) Eritrea is Sinhalese. (79) Tunisia is Siddi, Tharu. (80) Niger is Marwari. (81) Democratic Congo is Mathil. (82) Central African Republic is Halba, Odia. (83) Republic of Congo is Kwa. (84) Angola is Warli, Bhil. (85) Gabon is Khas. (86) Libya is Gur. (87) Somalia is Senufo. (88) Algeria is Sadan, Nagpuri. (89) Zambia is Magahi. (90) Malawi is Konkani. (91) Namibia is Saurashtra, Jaunsari. (92) Kenya is Deccanis. (93) Uganda is Haryanvi. (94) Mozambique is Adwadhi. (95) Sudan is African-American, Kordofan. (96) Cameroon is Dogra. (97) Chad is Shina. (98) Cote d'Ivoire is Saraiki. (99) Burkina Faso is Bishnupria. (100) Mali is Thori, Rajasthani. (101) South Sudan is Brokpa, Kohistani. (102) Egypt is Gujarati, Kutchi.
(103) Romania is Georgian. (104) Bulgaria-Greece is Greek. (105) Spain is Scotch-Irish. (106) Russia-Severny-Cyprus is Hispanic.* (i) "Vatican City" concept was Singapore. (ii) Germanic peoples are there. (107-A) Germany-Denmark is Vandal. (i) Denmark renamed Jutland. (107-B) Chechia remains Czech. (8-C) Austria remains Ostragoth. (107-D) Netherlands, Belgium are Flemish. (108) Sweden remains Swedish. (109) Hungary remains Hungarian. (110) Slovakia remains Slav. (111) Finland remains Finnish. (112) Georgia is Catalan. (113) Azerbaijan, Armenia is Maya.
American World Republic Thesis 2023__page 4.

PANGEA is the collective new world order, no further action or response is necessary. No changes will ever take place until The Mahdi announces it, this is my standard "turban." I'm not a god, I'm not a christ, I'm not a Prophet, & I'm not the Mahdi. FOLLOW THE PROPHETS!!! Based on transition. Torah is the law, Qur'an is the judgement, Democracy to collect jizya/taxes, and Sunnah is your freedom! American nukes were for India--Russian nukes were for China--impossible to use. (Nukes would complete a genocide and it is impossible to complete a genocide.) Nuclear bombs are for use at sea in a navy battle. Jewish people were Assyrian/Sumerian all along, no lineage to the identity. Germans were actually Turk-Persian-Siberian (Turkish). Beaker people were equivocal to modern Danish! Nok peoples were followers of Enoch which created the Bantu languages--same family tree (Niger-Congo). Looking for 114 countries from the 114 Surahs of the Qur'an. Christianity is a false reality. Judaism does not exist. Pagans are destroyed (Hindi is Christian). Idols are burned--you don't like superman more than your dad. Every soul submits to Islam, a word for Love.

It's general creativity, I used population ratio, population, population density, history, history of confrontation, genetics, social references, culture, sub-culture, politics, science, various forms of art when imagining a map, 9+ years of encyclopedia/Wikipedia study, KJB 13+ times cover to cover, Qur'an 35+ times, I contacted people who had status from history, 700+ changes to strategy when configuring order, I dedicated over 15 years to this project answering geopolitical changes caused by BRICS bank. I contacted the CIA, emailed governments, raised concerns locally, TRUTHFULLY lied to ALLIES when encountering possible conflicts, & no diploma to raise concern about ethics. Always free, never paid for. La illahu il Allah, Muhammad rasool Allah.
American World Republic Thesis__page 5: epilogue
(114) The idea in total is for a Inca Mongolia or to remain with the same operational changes* (i) American Republic--Wolf (ii) Opposition Party--Crocodile (iii) Conservative Party--Bigfoot (iv) Judicial Party--Buffalo (v) Military Party--Eagle__(women, men, Married, Single, leader.) Pentagon was the prison system. CIA was the news agencies. Dalai Llama basically negated every Pope in Rome. English War in Iraq was the literal Armageddon, impossible to revive false teachings! NATO failure, churches took the funds, absent from state, tried to send young people to Russian war with no preparation or understanding (Rurikid Dynasty). Sejuke Anatolia exists in transition today. Islam is dominant forevermore! Story telling; Encyclopedia is the same as The Bible--not a religion of its own. WAR is by WORK considerable good deeds. History note: KKK was only about remembering the Philippine war.
My point is; Israel is the only country in the dunya, full of states all around the world, basically the United States of America. Muslim land has no borders, everyone is already following the law, the law begins with marriage. Judaic-Christianity lets problems transpire, bad planning, carrying on regarding relationships, & teaches there is an existential question to solve about the meaning and purpose of life (Islam) and then fights the losing battle for their ideology--which the inevitable result being humiliation/misunderstanding. There are 10 Greater Israeli Gulf States instead of 12 because 2 tribes were already settled in the Torah--because Esau giving up his inheritance is the same theory. Three state trade between Poland, USA, & Russia is so the Christianity doesn't destroy itself at the cost of everyone else. *For instance, Scandinavians will not go extinct for an already clear victory of [democracy over communism]. Keep the prayer, keep your deen.

I’ve been living in Cali now for quite awhile now. I’m a college student, who moved here when I was in the middle of my 11th grade in the Philippines. I wish I had stories to tell, to my friends and families back in the Philippines. Pero ever since I moved here, hindi na ako nakaranas ng pure joy. Sure there are a lot of things to see, buy, try here but I never felt contented. Wala yung saya na meron ako nung nasa Pinas ako. My life was good, I was with my friends, going outing with my family. But now I feel so alone, I feel like everyday I’m not happy. It’s been 3 years since I left but the feeling is still the same, and I think it’s worst now. Dati nasa isip ko wala lang ang depression or whatever, pero ngayon I think nagkakaroon ako nun.
I don’t have close friends here, I study/work all the time, sure I have a paycheck at a young age but at what cost. It’s fucking me mentally. I’m considering finishing college back at home and just come back when I have the degree. I’d rather have a good mental health to be really honest.
Kumukuha nalang ako ng lakas sa mga kaibigan ko sa Pinas, tuwing mag didiscord at magkakamustahan.
I’m really considering help from specialist kasi everyday it’s the same for me. Debating with myself on why I should stay and be fucking insane.
I met few people here and there, people to hang out with. Tried new hobbies pero wala eh, ganun parin. Pag patak ng gabi, pag mag isa it’s the same shit again. I’m tired of this, it’s really giving me a hard time to focus on my goals and live my life. I don’t know what to do anymore.

This is the life story of my closest friend (20, Male). Sana marami kayong oras kase medyo mahaba at sobrang nakakastress eto. I wrote this post with my POV and his POV na rin. Kase some events here hindi directly sinabi kay friend, but was opened up to my mom by his mom.
He is aware na ipopost ko to, di siya redditor eh so I hope din na makapag bigay kayo ng advice or kahit comfort. I’ll send the screenshots to him. Badly needed.
I’ll use code letters din baka kase may kamag anak siyang nag rereddit eh.
Let’s start with his Fam. My friend R (M,20) ever since nakilala ko siya medyo confusing na ang work ng papa niya. Every once a week lang umuuwi and di niya dala apelyido ng papa niya for the reason na nung pinanganak siya eh nasa ibang bansa raw etong tatay. Una palang alam na ng parents ko na there is something wrong, given na illegitimate child ako pero dala ko apelyido ng papa ko dahil official sila naghiwalay ng first wife niya before having rs with my mom.
Anyways, yun nga we feel na there is always something wrong. Ang style pa ng family nila, si R never nadala or naipakilala sa side ng papa niya, through stories niya lang kilala ang grandparents niya. Di rin siya aware sa totoong work ng papa niya basta ang alam niya Dog trainer daw kase andaming nilalagay na ano sa bahay nila and sinasabing pinapaalagaan daw or tinetrain.
Nung bata pa ako friend ko ang papa niya, nakakakwentuhan ko. Nalaman ko na may real Chinese name siya and marami raw silang business as family (lumber, seahorse, bonsai) pero through time natakot at naturn off sakanya so di ko na siya pinapansin. Okay here is the downfall
For the first year nila nakatira diyan kasama pa ang tita ni R pero once umalis nagsimula na yung abuse and downfall events.

1. Ever since bata siya ginagawang panakot ng mama niya ang papa niya sa kanya pag ayaw sumunod ni R. Siyempre as bata medyo makulit diba. Ginagawang pang disiplina yung “sige sumbong kita sa papa mo” Which sabi niya sakin basta one day nagising na lang siyang takot sa papa niya. Lol I wonder why diba. Ever since din very emotionally dismissive na fam niya na every time na natatakot siya eh iniignore, and iniiwan siya ng mama niya kabilang bahay mag isa para lang tabihan papa sa kabila and u know what.(dalawang unit house nila magkatabi)
   
2. Napagbuhatan si R ng kamay ng papa niya dahil di siya sumunod sa utos na wag lumabas kase aalis siya at ang mama ni R. Grade 8 siya nito at sinikmuraan siya.
   
3. After umalis ng tita niya sa bahay nila sinisigawan na ng papa niya ang mama niya. Dun na rin nag start ang pag hoard niya ng aso. Imagine super liit ng space ng garahe nila at loob pero umabot sila ng 23 dogs ang nakalagay. Patong-patong na ang cages, meron sa kusina, sa tabi ng kama etc. Di lang din aso, pati ibon din. Lahat ng yun mag isa mama niya sa pag aasikaso, di siya makatulong dahil takot siya makagat which is nangyari na sa mama niya
   
4. After nun, halos pag umuuwi na papa niya lagi na minumura at sinisigawan mama niya lalo na pag nagkamali sa pagpapakain ng aso (walang utak, walang silbi) lahat ng verbal abuse.
   
5. Just imagine the smell, the noise. Hays.
   
6. Kahit ganun, naoobserve ni R na mahal ng mama niya ang papa niya, pinag hahandaan breakfast, lahat ng need prepared na ultimo pati susuotin. To the point na feeling ni R mas mahal ng mama niya papa niya kase yung food na masarap, or mga pancit canton di siya pinapayagan lutuin dahil para raw sa tatay niya (sobrang payat ni friend). May experience daw siya na tira tirang mcdo na lang inuwi sa kanya ng papa niya kumbaga yung may bawas na
   
7. Wala ring lasa food nila dahil ayaw raw sa asin ng tatay niya
   
8. Medyo madamot din daw sa pera, sobrang tipid na pagkakasyahin 1k in 2 weeks or less. Mas marami pa binibigay na dog food
   
9. Last last year, ang mama niya ay naubos nung nadiscover niya na nambabae ang tatay ni R (nag uwi ng panty na black, may nakitang dalawang bote ng Sogo sa basurahan). After nito nag aattempt na ang mama niya umalis at tumira sa probinsya pero di niya maiwan si R dahil nga pinapaaral siya ng papa niya.
   
10. She gave one last chance but the abused continues. And it’s obvious na loveless na ang rs nila (di na sila nagsesex or nagtatabi matulog) this was revealed kay mama.
    
11. Last year his mom finally left at tumira na sa Bicol. Asking her sister na mag bantay muna kay R. Sobrang sama ng loob ni R nun kase di man lang siya kinausap ng maayos kung ano bang plano, or anong mga dapat gawin after umalis ng mama niya. Di rin siya kinakamusta ng mama niya like after 3-4months na bago nag chat.
    
12. After umalis ng mama niya wala na nag aalaga sa mga aso at ibang hayop to the point na minsan 2-3 days sila walang kain at linis sa kulungan. Andaming namatay dahil sa gutom at sakit. Nung unang months nauutusan siya ng papa niya pakainin yung 52 love birds, at ibang aso na kalmado, and dahil dito nakareceive yung friend ko ng verbal abuse sa papa niya pag nagkakamali siya ng sunod. Ang sama ng loob ko sa mama niya dahil iniwan siya sa ere di man lang siya sinabihan kung anong dapat gawin.
    
13. Dalawa kase unit ng house nila which is originally sa tita niya nung nag aabroad pa, pinasalo and eventually di na nabayaran yung isang unit at yung isang unit don nabayaran dun nag sstay papa niya and sobrang dugyot daw (nandun yung mga birds and two big dogs) Sobrang baho, daming basura, honestly di namin alam paano siya nakakatulog or stay don. Nakakasuka
    
14. Si R ay second year second sem na sana kaso hindi na binayaran ang tuition niya amounting to 55k. The reason why don nag aaral si R is because pinush siya ng mama niya and nung kinausap niya papa niya ay kaya naman daw babayaran daw etc. But hindi nangyari. First yr niya 70% ng tuition niya kaibigan ni R nagbayad. Pagkasecond year ayun na, d na nabayaran first sem so di na siya tumuloy pag second sem. Sayang masipag siya mag aral and may sports. Mataas nga ang grades niya despite having that kind of envi sa bahay nila. Tengga sa bahay now si R and trying to find jobs but super mentally drained and depressed. Wala gana. Wala ring funds.
    
15. Ngayon ever since tita kasama niya sa bahay binawasan na ng papa niya mga aso at inalis na rin ibon kase nga if it continues lahat sila mamamatay. Problema naman nila ngayon sobrang tinitipid sila ng papa niya.
    
16. So this whole pag stop sa pag aaral nakarating sa mama niya. Diba 3-4 months bago siya kausapin ng mama niya after umalis. Actually di talaga siya kinamusta, pinipilit siya na kumbinsihin papa niya na bayaran ang tuition yung usapan nila na ganyan is it’s been like this for months now to the point na nagsasawa na si R kausap sila kase pagod na siya, stress, pressured. Di naman siya nagkulang sa pagpapaalala sa papa niya with pictures pa nga. Sa chat, sa personal. One time sabi ng papa niya (ako bahala mag proproduce ako) this was two months ago pero wala pa rin ptngina
    
17. Eto pa matindi, diba hindi na nga siya kinakamusta ng mama niya potangina nilalamangan pa sa pera. Everytime na may pera siya or alam na may nagbigay gusto pinapahati sa tita or bigyan daw. Yung budget din na binibigay ng papa niya one time kinupit ng tita niya kase nagbakasyon sa bicol. So nung may bills, kay R nagbigay papa niya. Nung sinabi niya to sa mama niya BASICALLY SA VC SUMESENYAS MAMA NIYA SA TITA NIYA KASE SINASABI NG TITA NIYA NA WALA NA BABAYARAN SO SUMENYAS NG GANITO 🤫 PARA DI MAPUNTA KAY R YUNG PERA AND MAKUPIT NILANG MAGKAPATID TxnGINA.
    
18. Latest update kagabi, nag chat mama saakin ni R saying na iconvince ko raw si R na umuwi ng Bicol at don mag aral dahil nagkausap na raw sila ng papa niya at pumayag na bayaran tuition at sustentuhan which we HUGELY doubt. Ako inutusan mag convince dahil di na raw sila pinapansin ni R, well what do u expect. Everytime na tatawag bungad yung pilit na kausapin tatay. Sinasabihan pa siyang tinatamad na raw mag aral. Tapos di rin aware si R sa plan niya palagi namang ganun ever since. Mga details ng family sa ibang tao niya nalalaman dahil nagkukwento mama niya sa iba.
    
19. My friend R, first came out to be as gay. Hindi siya makapag out sa fam niya dahil homophobic family ng mama at papa niya to the point na ginawa siyang testimonial sa kapitbahay na “naayos, gumaling, tumino” kase super lambot niya nung bata and naging closeted nung lumalaki so medyo naging masculine. Yun malaking reason din bat ayaw niya sa probinsya dahil homophobic mga tao don. Gwapo pa naman si friend, so ang laki ng expectations sakanya sa sexuality. He cried nung nag out sakin dahil sinubukan niya raw labanan yung identity niya, he prayed he asked God pero ganun pa rin. Takot siya kase he grew up thinking it was sin to be gay. Nakakaawa.
    

We plan na mag apply work sa June. We sent out resume sa fastfoods but to no avail dahil mababa raw sales ng SB. Sa MCDO naman dami applicants.
Freelancer ako but napabayaan ko work ko dahil sa sobrang demanding at bulok ng school ko. Hirap pa ng program ko. Medyo naiinis din ako sa self ko kase di ko siya matulungan but my time and resources is limited din. Mahal ko siya dahil parang kapatid na turing ko sa kanya. Halos lumaki siya kasama ako. Nakakaiyak. Natatakot ako dahil lately may suicidal thoughts na siya.
Di ko na alam. Di ko alam kung dapat ba lumayas na siya or what.

I'm currently 23F and ok quick storytime before the dillemma. I was 21 years old when my mom bought a brand new car and para talaga yun sa makeup gigs ko. I'm still a baby HMUA that time (even yung per head ko until now, mababa pa rin talaga) pero we thought and I thought, mababayaran naman ito ng mom ko kasi she's in the company for over a decade and kasya naman ang sweldo.
But then 2023 happened and tumindi ang financial struggles namin, and worse, lumipat na siya sa company with a minimum wage. My financial was all reset as wellz And sa akin na napasa ang responsibility sa kotse monthy. Pero never kami nakamiss ng bayad sa kotse monthly up until now.
As of now, May 2024, 3 years and 3 months na lang bago ko mafully paid. The thing is, dahil naghiatus ako noon (this is another chaotic story na nangyari noong 2023), hindi na as lakas ng kita ko before sa pagmemakeup ang kinikita ko ngayonbefore umaabot around 20k up until 50k pero rarely lang yun mangyari.
I have my EF, savings naman pero napapaisip ako if worth it pa ba ang magbayad sa sasakyan most especially ngayon na somehow mas stable ang WFH job and casual na lang ang pagmemakeup. Grabe yung convenience with a car while doing gigs at first ever car ko rin kasi pero I felt like yung mga plans ko to move out, to enroll in a new skill na supposedly itutuloy ko sana kung hindi nawalang ng work ang mom ko. Parang they are all postponed just because kelangan kong magbayad ng kotse. And to think hindi rin naman totally stable ang freelancing.
I am so confused right now. Malaki rin ang maintenance ng sasakyan dahil ng insurance & PMS.
Ayun, just calculating pa lang, maiipon ko na sana yung mababayad ko sa kotse. I would totally say na impulsive buy siguro kasi hindi rin namin talaga inexpect ang mangyayare sa work ng mom ko.
Malaki ang mawawala kasi the DP, the monthly fees, hindi na siya mababalik fully pero as someone who always plans ahead, napapaisip talaga ako. :( I might need some comforting words or harsh truth for this one.

Meron akong friends na lagi ko talaga kasama as In close talaga kami like this 🤞. . Anyways, so meron akong kaklase na ka bad blood ko (kaaway) ganern. Hindi ko talaga alam kung vaket galit na galit sakin ang bruha at pinag cchismisan aker. So yun nga classmates ko din lahat ng friends ko pero TEH KINAIBIGAN NILA UNG BRUHA ? Alam naman nilang kaaway ko yun pero sumasama yung iba sakanya? Syempre pinavayaan ko kasi wala naman akong karapatan kung sino gusto nilang maging kaibigan, pero nasaan ang loyalty? 😓
I checked my insta kanina tapos i passed by the story ng kaibigan ni bruha (pinagchismisan din ako nun) tapos surprisingly, nakita ko ung mga kaibigan ko sa picture na nag pparty with the bruha and her friends !? Yung kaibigan ko pa na isa doon laging nag ppass everytime nag yaya ako mag party pero biglang kay bruha g na g? 💔 Hindi alam kung sensitive ako or something pero abyg pag cinonfront ko sila about this matter? 😓
P.S first time ko po mag write sa ganito, sorry po if magulo 😭

SHS year, as a graduating student. Grade 12 when we have a irregular student na classmate. He is very nonchalant na matalino. After a few months na kaklase namin siya sa isang subject. Never ko siya napapansin, joker ako sa klase at maingay. Siya na tahimik at walang pake samin. One day I ask if he has a charger, the first time na kinausap ko siya, grabe yung itsyura niya sa malapitan. May mukha siya as in masasabi mong may itsura tlaga siya, since that day. I've been curious to him lagi ko siyang madalas nahuhuli na nakatingin sakin. Ginagago ata ako pa-fall eh. I really love intelligence to the point na, para mapatunayan na matalino siya teh inistalk ko buong buhay niya antalino nga and only child siya. Grabe pag kagusto ko dito I've been called Him man of my dreams. Ideal man ko crush ko, papansin ako lagi sakanya tapos siya wala siyang pake. One day sa sobrang papansin ko gumawa ako paraan para mag-usap kami yet he does teh siya nag first move mag chat. We chat for few days and di kami ganun nag-tagal nagka-usap kasi busy tong tao. And nasa isip ko if he like me too, He would. Pero hindi teh it ended up delulu lang pala ako, in some ways I think he try to be with me, pero ako na kasi nag pahinto sakanya. He never purse me. Basta laging nasa isip ko if a guy like you, no matter how many times mo siyang pagtabuyan. He will make a way to purse you because he would.
Huminto din kami, for months kahit di kami nag-uusap binati ko siya sa b'day niya, siya dumaan na b'day ko lahat-lahat, Christmas, New Year hindi niyo ko binati. Pinalampas ko and I ask if magkakaroon ng gradball if pwede ako ang makasayaw niya. He rejected me, pero super formal ng words niya sakin. After that I stopped since the day na di niya ko binati sa b'day ko knowing alam niya yon and nakita niya story ko. That's disrespect tho even di niya tlaga ako gusto atleast he respect me in that way. So if No is a No. Then I stopped as in hininto ko ng walang pakundangan.
Everytime na magkikita kami sa hall way lagi siyang nakatingin, baliw ata eh. Personally wala na ko pake talaga, after few months we never had any interaction. There's a guy that like me the way I like him. Who pursue me and really do anything for me. Because if a man would, He really would. and I see him na okay na rin siya, sometimes may kasama siyang girl. It's fine na rin naman. Walang galit as in we're both fine.
After that months, my heart felt on the floor knowing the news, patay na siya. Patay na siya without knowing ano tlaga yung kinamatay niya. Hindi na sinabi ng parents niya and thats too confidential na rin. Yung taong gusto kong makita, makita niya na masaya na rin ako. Wala na, He is very young para mamatay. Ang sakit tapos out nowhere naiisip ko pa rin siya, but I have no choice to move on. Lumipas na yung gradball wala siya, lumipas na yung grad pic wala na siya, nakaka limutan na siya ng mga tao. Now we're graduating sa hs wala na rin siya. I hope he lives pa kasi marami pa siyang pangarap.

Released on May 13, 2023 via Sony Music Philippines. The song was written by Pablo and produced by him, his brother Joshua Daniel Nase, and Filipino-Canadian music producer Simon Servida. It uses gold mining as a metaphor for achieving success, alluding to the band's career.
The song entered two of Billboard's record charts: World Digital Song Sales—a first among Filipino groups—and the Philippines Songs charts, peaking at numbers eight and eleven, respectively. A dance challenge set to the song became a trend on TikTok. The accompanying music video, directed by Kerbs Balagtas, depicted the band members mining for gold. The group promoted the song with live performances and included it on the set list of their Pagtatag! World Tour (2023–2024). The song has received multiple accolades, including the Wishclusive Pop Performance of the Year award at the Wish 107.5 Music Awards 2024.
Read more: Gento (song))

“GENTO” places SB19's bold talent and confidence into the spotlight, highlighting their strength and versatility as a group. The song offers a catchy word play, effortlessly weaving ganito (like this), ginto (gold), and gento, the Caviteño word for ganito. It delivers a powerful message of their growth as a group, after years of refinement--just like gold.

- SB19 drops new single 'GENTO', GMA News
Pablo talks about what 'Gento' means during SB19's appearance on AOS.
Pablo, Joshua, and Simon collaborated on the song remotely. From the outset, Pablo already has a clear vision of how the song would sound. He sent Simon a demo of the song along with some notes. Simon then integrated Pablo's notes into the production, making additional contributions to achieve Pablo's vision.
Pablo guided Simon by providing notes on what to change or add, using timestamps as references. To facilitate this process, Pablo sent Simon the demo version of the song featuring his vocals.
Servida Music YT
Simon noted that one element that particularly resonated with him was the song's association with gold or money. Inspired by this, he conceived the idea of creating a vocal sample, which became the main melody of the song.
Servida Music YT
Watch: I Produced A Song With 50 Million Streams! (Gento Breakdown) Simon Servida
[Verse 1: Pablo, Josh]
I want some I get some no later I woke up and baked that potato Got carbed to shape me for major But I stay me not mediocre Look at me tell me what you see all gucci but the real question is who's really me A movie's definitely not my reality 'cause you see marumi marumi marumi eww Marumi = Filthy Kadiri Disgusting
[Pre-Chorus: Stell]
Yeah I'm gonna see you later (later) Pagkatapos kong mag-shower (shower) After I take a shower Medyo ramdam ko na'ng power (power) 'Cause I'm starting to feel the power Kulang pa sa sour mga hater kaya But the sour is not enough for them haters that's why
Culture note: Power is slang for smelling bad due to bad hygiene. Sour is slang for 'looking dirty'
[Pre-Chorus: Justin]
Alamin ang mga bagay-bagay I will learn as much as I could 'Di pwedeng anay sa'king bahay Won't allow pests inside my home Tahimik lang daw ang matibay They say the strong ones are just silent Pero 'pag tinopak talagang mag-iingay (gento) But when frenzied surely will make noise
[Chorus: Ken]
Gento gento Like this, like this 'Di 'to basta-basta bingo bingo This isn't instant like bingo Need mo makumpleto parang bento gento You need to have it all just like a bento Ano kaya mo Like this, you think you can do it?
[Chorus: Pablo]
Pilit na hinukay ang bumbunan makakita lang ng ginto ginto Kept digging inside my head just to find gold Kahit na wala pang hinto ciento por ciento bawat bitaw ko mismo 'eto kaya mo Even without rest, I still give a hundred percent just right, now, can you do this? 'Di ka basta-basta makakakita ng gento You just won't simply find something like this
TL note: Here, ginto (gold) is being interchanged with gento (like this)
[Post-Chorus: Pablo]
Gento mm yeah yeah gento gento 'Di ka basta-basta makakakita ng gento You just won't simply find something like this
[Verse 2: Josh]
'Di ko na kailangan lumunok ng bato I don't really need to swallow a stone Hindi mala-darna 'to aandar ang makina ko I am not like Darna, I can have my engine run Tanging mekaniko ay ako 'la nang moni moniko I am my own mechanic, there's no need for Moniko Sa daming pinagdaanan nagpatong na'ng istori ko With all that I've been through, my stories are now storeys Usyoso mga chismoso halika't pumanhik na rito uh Busybodies, gossip, come up here and beg
Culture note: Darna is a Filipino comic book superhero who needs to swallow a magic stone and yell Darna! to gain powers. Moniko is from a famous Filipino tongue twister, Moniko being a mechanic.
[Verse 2: Pablo]
'Di naman talaga madali aminin ko pa man o hindi It was never an easy feat admit it or not Sa likod ng mga tagong paghikbi kayamanan kong hapdi Behind all the hidden sobs are my treasures of hardship Panis 'to laging alisto kahit pa si Mephisto tiklop 'pag nag-beast mode na bihis ko But that's nothing, I'm always alert even Mephisto, he'll fold when I go beast mode
Note: Mephisto is a demon in German folklore
[Verse 2: Ken]
No rush I can do this all day (no rush) Twenty-four mentality like Kobe (mamba) The harder I work the harder I play Walang home court sa'kin sasalpak kahit away Here's no home court for me, I'll slam it even if I'm away Heto na nga heto na nga wala nang magdadadada Here it is, here it is, everyone just shut your mouth 'Pag ako ang umangat diretso sigaw baba baba 'Cause when I go up, I immediately say, "D up!" Ako ay galing sa lupa I came straight from the ground Kahit pilitin mong hukayin 'ding-hindi mo makukuha But no matter how hard you try, you can never be me
[Pre-Chorus: Justin]
Yeah I know this isn't over (over) 'Di pa tapos ang disaster (disaster) The disaster hasn't ended yet Alam ko na I'm in danger (danger) I know that I am in danger But I'm betting you sooner magiging better kaya But I'm betting you sooner I'll be better that's why
[Pre-Chorus: Stell]
Alamin ang mga bagay-bagay I will learn as much as I could 'Di pwedeng tambay sa'king bahay My home isn't for doing nothing Lahat ng magtaas ng kilay All raised brows on us Susunugin ng matuto namang magnilay Will be burned until they learn their lesson
Culture note: To burn one's brows is to work or study hard (learn).
[Chorus: Josh]
Gento gento Like this, like this 'Di 'to basta-basta bingo bingo This isn't instant like bingo Need mo makumpleto parang bento gento You need to have it all just like a bento Ano kaya mo Like this, you think you can do it?
[Chorus: Justin]
Pilit na hinukay ang bumbunan makakita lang ng ginto ginto Kept digging inside my head just to find gold Kahit na wala pang hinto ciento por ciento bawat bitaw ko mismo 'eto kaya mo Even without rest, I still give a hundred percent just right, now, can you do this? 'Di ka basta-basta makakakita ng gento You just won't simply find something like this
[Outro: All, Pablo]
'Wag kang hihinto sa ordinaryo Don't settle for the ordinary Kahig pa sige hanggang sa magdugo Keep on scraping until you bleed 'Di ka basta-basta makakakita ng gento You just won't simply find something like this Gento gento gento gento gento gento
English translation from: GENIUS
GENTO on Spotify, Apple
GENTO Official MV
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(PLEASE LANG, DO NOT REPOST IN ANY OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA SITES.)
Lagi na lang tuwing nakainom, kung anu-ano lumalabas sa bibig. Medyo marami na rin kaming naging clash dahil ako si pikon.
Two years ago, September 10 (yes tandang-tanda ko yun kasi alam ko nagliligpit ako ng damit nung nagkasagutan kami), pinalayas ako ng bahay. September 11, 6am umalis ako ng bahay kahit 3 hrs lang tulog ko. Nagdrive ako papunta sa bahay ng lola ko (mother’s side) at dun tumira for months. January 2023, umuwi ako kasi may katangahan akong nagawa sa office pero that’s another story, that I got myself checked sa doctor. After that medyo tahimik na. Wala na masyado sinasabi.
Fast forward this year, my then boyfriend, now fiancé proposed, so nagpaplano na kami ng kasal.
One time, nagkasagutan na naman kami nang nakainom siya. Ang sinabi nya, hindi raw sya aattend ng kasal namin. Itong nanay ko, todo text, chat at sabi sa akin na magsorry na raw ako sa tatay ko at sabihin ko na gusto ko siya na nandun sa kasal ko. I obliged kahit masama sa loob ko dahil wala naman ako ginawang masama. Then naulit na naman nang naulit.
Last month, April, nagclash na naman kami. Ginawan ako ng issue na kesyo hindi ko na raw sila ginagalang na akala ko raw kaedad ko lang kausap ko. Tinanong kasi ako kung nagtatampo ako about something na ginawa na naman nya dahil nakainom. Hindi ako sumasagot kasi ayoko naman nagsisinungaling. Ang sabi na naman hindi na sya aattend.
Ending, mas kinampihan pa ng nanay ko saying na kapag daw tinanong kung nagtatampo ako, ang sagot ay hindi (lol). Bukod dyan, itong nanay ko, tinext ako na alisin ko raw pride ko. Magsorry na raw ako para sa kapayapaan. Alalahanin ko raw na magulang ko pa rin sila. Chinat pa ‘yong fiancé ko na lambingin na lang daw yung tatay ko. Lmao. (Kami na nga ang agrabyado kami pa ang gustong manlambing?) Sinabi ko sa nanay ko na bakit ako ba nirespeto nyo, nung isang beses na sinabi na naman niya yung irespeto ko sila.
Dahil sa inis ko, nagpost din ako sa socmed ng about sa narcissist family member, pati yung kumakampi sa narcissist saying na i-overlook yung ginawa or magmove on, and other things about a dysfunctional family. I let my relatives see it as well, pinublic ko talaga para damang-dama dahil alam kong makakarating sa nanay ko ‘yon.
Until today, kanina habang nagseset up ako for my workout kinulit na naman ako asking kung sigurado/tuloy na raw ba talaga yung kasal namin ng fiancé ko, sumagot ako ng “oo nga” in an irritated voice. Ayaw daw niya ng ganoong sagot. Sumagot ulit ako, “ayoko nga nang kinukulit kapag lasing”. Ano raw gusto ko mangyari? Sabi ko matulog na siya sa kwarto nila, tapos ano raw. Inulit ko lang na matulog na siya. Then came the part na hindi na raw siya attend. Sagot ko sa kanya, “eh di bahala ka.”
Honestly, wala na akong energy makipagdeal. Wala na akong maramdaman. Kung ayaw niya umattend, eh di ‘wag. ‘Di bale na lang na hindi siya umattend kung magpapa-VIP siya. Kapagod.

i ended my 3yrs relationship. a year later, i stalked my ex and found out he's dating his so called gbf (did not surprise me at all). i already had my hunch na kapag nagbreak kami, itong babae ang papalit sa akin lol.
there were many reasons for our break up, isa na do'n yung micro cheating, pati na rin emotional cheating behind my back with his gbf. it took me months before finding the courage to end our rs. while i ended it in a nice way, my ex spread lies in his social media na ako yung nagloko. kesyo di nya matanggap na nakipaghiwalay ako na wala akong ibang nagugustuhan. may iba daw akong lalaki ulol nya. he painted himself as a victim, and put all the blame on me. aminado naman ako na may mga mali ako (it's normal in a rs) but me cheating or flirting? no way. never kami nag away ng dahil dyan. lahat ng away namin ay dahil sa pagiging malandi nya. minsan ko na syang nahuling nakikipaglandian sa gbf nya and he begged for a second chance, pinagbigyan ko kasi nga mahal ko (big mistake). i was not a selosa gf, tbh never ko sya pinagbawalan, to the point na inallow kong maging friends ulit sila ng putanginag gbf nya.
di sya pogi, pinili ko sya for his personality at ngayon sising-sisi ako lol. yung sa ugali nalang sana bumawi, pumalpak pa. his looks is one of his insecurities (lagi ko naman sya pinupuri. i mean, love makes us blind right?) but that shit made him seek validation towards other women.
i might sound bitter here, and my feelings are valid. back to the story, when i found out na naging sila, i feel disgusted. grabe sila maglandian sa socmed (which is hindi na bago sakin) while scrolling at it, nabasa ko yung words na "4yrs na pala tayong nag to-talking stage" it made me feel like shit kasi sa 3yrs na naging kami palihim silang naghaharutan mga puta.
habang sinisiraan nya ako, nanahimik ako. i don't want anyone to see him as a bad guy, kahit naman papaano minahal ko naman yon. but he did not appreciate it, kasi hanggang ngayon (gf nya na nga yung gbf nya) sinisiraan pa rin ako. pahalatang di naka move on.
what i learned? wag jomowa ng pangit, kasi sila pa yung mahilig magloko.

My boyfriend (M19) who’s about to graduate in shs and I (F21) have been together in a long distance relationship for more than 2 years now. Although the distance weren’t that much far since I am from north luzon and while he’s from south. 3-4 hours away may still be hectic, to the point that we barely just meet in a year. Since I am a college student and ngl binubugbog sila sa school works, which I would really feel bad if I even try to say “No” whenever he asks me if he could hangout late with his friends or classmates.
We once fought about his friends and late night or overnight hang outs before where it also almost leads to splitting up, though it was my fault since I was the type to let my fear and emotions get into me. As I overthink and having the fear of abandonment my only way of solution was to just break up with him bago pa ako yung maiwanan, ‘cause he might get tired of the way I act. But I am always eager to change my ways, yet sometimes after bottling up my feelings I can no longer control my way of thinking and just burst out all the thoughts.
Anyway, so nag away na kami before because I felt envy whenever he can freely go out and stay the night with his friends, and to think na we’re in a long distance relationship its hard to keep up with our physical spending time together. I’d sometimes think na he probably even made more memories with them than us. Plus I cant help but to think na whenever I’d ask his parents if he can stay the night at ours, mag-aalala daw sila and parang hindi pa siya pwede sa ganun. But when it comes to galaan with his friends ok na ok lang nakakapag inuman pa nga sila dun, even if his parents strictly told me he’s not allowed to drink whenever he visits me here. Which would really question myself, ‘cause I’m trying my best to get the good image and all naman.
I really think that my boyfriend is a great man, he’s really sweet and kind, we never fought with a tense or the feeling of being raised by his voice, he would always deal with me by gentle approach. But I do really feel left out and I feel unfair sometimes on my part. Is it because I chose him to be my all around friend, best friend that I barely have anyone to hangout with? And kapag wala siya o busy with his life I look like I’m just set aside the corner.
Tonight, he’s hanging out again overnight. And I tried to occupy my mind, i played games, watched videos, films, I even took time to read stories here on reddit. Yet my mind feels so itchy like I wanna know how he is, I want him to talk to me. We’ve already talked about this. Actually at first he was planning not to attend this current party for my sake, for my peace of mind. Pero ayoko kasing maging held back sakanya and I feel like kapag tinuloy niya yun he is just tolerating my behavior lang din baka pag nagtagal he would missed out a lot of events and he would regret it. So, I told him, the last fight we had wala na sakin yun that I’ve already detached myself sa ganong bagay and I don’t mind it anymore if he wants to hangout again, so he could just continue the way he used to live so or focuses on his life without having himself worrying about me. Nakakaguilty lang din kasi isipin na while his friends are all together hanging and yet he’s sat on the corner trying to assure me and all. Ayoko lang talaga maging ganong klaseng partner. I think I am just obsessed with my person yet im trying not to affect him with my obsession.
Should I really just detached? Also its been bugging my mind, does it have anything to do with our age gap? Na maybe because he’s still on the part wherein he wants to have fun pa. But in that case, I also like having fun naman. But the only fun I need is hanging out with him:(
I accept criticism, i know I am flawed personally so I dont mind being corrected. Thank you

Typical story: I came from a poor family - yung tipong pinag-aral ako para maigapang ko yung family ko from poverty. Like a teleserye, I strived, I went to good schools, graduated, and got a decent job.
Plot Twist: I ran away from my family. I totally cut them off, kahit na special days like birthdays, christmas, and new years, they heard nothing from me.
Now: I am living an average life, pay check to pay check pa rin kasi I pay for all of my bills and luho. I’d say naigapang ko yung sarili ko from poverty, although hindi naman completely financially free. Basta nakakain ko yung mga gusto ko, I have skin care na rin, I use MoveIt na, and stuff like that. Yung I can already pay for my convenience.
Firm naman ako sa desisyon ko sa pag leave sa family ko, I dont think I’d be here right now if di ako nag risk. No regrets naman. Yun nga. NO REGRETS, JUST A BUDDING GUILT.
Recently, my sibling messaged me and was asking for financial help sa school. Eto na yun. Isip ko, I was in that kind of situation din kase before. I asked people for help - linunok ko na yung pride ko makatapos lang. My parents did not exert any amount of effort to support me, kailangan ko pang manghiram ng pera from them mismo para lang may pambayad sa mga gastusin sa college. My thought is, BAKIT GANITO ULET SA SIBLING KO? Wala pa rin bang effort yung parents namin to raise them properly?
Willing naman ako tumulong kaso enough lang yung earnings ko to fend for myself. And may reservations din ako, baka ma abuse yung one time na pag tulong ko.
On my end, do I give in to my sibling’s favor? Or do I keep my stance firm?
EDIT for CONTEXT: My parents never carried the responsibility to raise me, I had to be independent at an early age. Verbal abuse was there. Tumatak sa isip ko na pag tapos ko ng school, i’ll immediately leave pag may opportunity. My siblings are my mother’s kids sa ibang husband nya. The marriage wasnt great kaya ayun bumalik ulet sa bahay namin, now with more kids. I never met my father.

Long post ahead
Shoutout sa mga may galit sa relatives. Alam kong patience is a virtue, pero I can't anymore. I'm SO ANGRY to the point na gusto ko manakit, but I won't.
It all started kasi yung kapatid ko and yung pinsan ko (both M17, same age) gragraduate na ng high school. Close kaming magpipinsan (except sa anak ni tito na babae) to the point na parang magkakapatid na kaming lahat, lumaki kaming magkakasama since mga parents namin former OFWs so grandparents nagpalaki talaga samin.
Yung mga parents namin, apat silang magkakapatid (dalawang nasa States). Ngayon, yung dalawang nasa States nagpadala ng pera para bumili ng gamit at pang celebrate nung dalawa.
Kay mama nila pinadala yung pera kasi yung tito ko (father ng pinsan ko, kapatid ni mama) for some reason, walang pakeelam sa mga lalake niyang anak. All he cares about is his daughter (F12) and yung mga anak ng asawa niya (yes, anak ng wife niya sa unang asawa), dun napupunta yung pera nila. Kaya wala nang tiwala mga tita ko pati si mama na magbigay ng pera sakanya derecho.
Ngayon umaga palang nagusap na silang magkakapatid (mama ko, tito and titas). Buo na usapan, pupunta dito yung pinsan ko para lumakad sila ng kapatid ko bumili ng gamit tas syempre kain sila sa labas. At first, umoo na yung tito ko, edi tuwang tuwa yung mga gagraduate.
Nung magreready na sana sila, bigla namang nagbago nanaman isip ng tito ko. Telling lies na "hindi daw pwede si ** kasi nasa school.." ganto ganyan. We know it's a lie kasi may gc kaming magpipinsan and naguusap currently.
Nung pinush ni mama yung dahilan (kasi nga alam na namin na nagsisinungaling..) ayon nalaman namin na ang dahilan is yung pinsan naming babae.
Yung anak ni tito na babae (F12), na ANG PANGET TALAGA NG UGALI EVER SINCE. Oo bata siya and me(F23) as panganay na apo I know na dapat mahaba pasensya ko, kasi nga bata.
Pero ever since I met this cousin of mine, all she do is to pull my trigger. Lagi siyang sumasabat sa usapan ng matatanda, pakeelamera at nangunguha ng gamit, inggitera, and isa sa recently ko lang nalaman is nangangalikot siya ng chats or information sa devices namin (sakin, mga kuya niya, and even sa phone ng mama ko).
Nung nag stay siya dito sa condo ko, pinagbigyan kong gumamit ng pc ko kasi may games and pwede siya mag netflix or disney or whatever she wanted to do. Pero nahuli ko, nag bubukas ng facebook/discord/and heck pati Viber ko?! Pinagsabihan ko na siya non, and of course- I banned her from entering my room EVER again. Pero hinde, inulit nanaman niya and the second time around sa phone na ng mama ko- reading convos of her and my step dad like- ANO BA TONG BATANG TO?!
Inggitera, pag nakakakita siya ng feminine products such as skincare products, or make-up, lagi siyang mag cocomment ng "sana all" followed by asking if pwedeng "sakanya nalang".
Syempre, I said NO. Bakit? anong gagawin niya sa mga yon? ang bata bata pa niya, hindi pa siya pwedeng maglalalagay ng kung ano ano sa mukha niya. and what did she say? ang SAMA DAW NG UGALI KO KASI MADAMOT AKO. The audacity of this kid-
lastly (eto yung pinaka ayaw ko, at mostly nag cause ng away recently), gusto niya palaging tungkol sakanya. Pag aalis kaming magpipinsan (kaming magkaka age. Hence mga kuya niya, and iba pang pinsan) gusto niya kasama siya, or if bibili kami ng gamit dapat pati siya meron. If not? mag tatantrums. Magdadabog, iiyak, magsusumbong sa tatay niya.
And of course, yun yung dahilan kung bat di nanaman pinayagan yung pinsan ko. Kasi hindi siya kasama. Nag tantrums siya na "bakit di siya ang isasama? bakit kapatid pa niya? kung di daw siya sasama wag daw papayagan kapatid niya, HINDI DAW PWEDE" I was SO PISSED OFF, kaya minessage ko siya sa messenger niya:
Telling her na I won't tolerate her attitude anymore, na HINDING HINDI NA SIYA BABALIK SA CONDO KO(yes, she loves visiting here kasi we have a pool and lagi siyang nakakatikim ng Grab/or lagi siyang kasama if we go shopping and such).
Not just that, hinding hindi ko na siya isasama sa mga gala. Telling her how me, and my other cousins (from States) are very angry and disappointed at her because of her ugly and disgusting attitude.
Kawawa palagi mga pinsan ko sakanilang mag ama. Sa kanilang tatlong magkakapatid (F12, M17, M20) siya ang hindi disiplinado. May time pa na nabubugbog ng tito ko yung dalawa kong pinsan DAHIL SA KAGAGAWAN NIYA, or if ever na nasasama yung dalawa sa gala namin tas siya hinde (OO BINUBUGBOG SILA DAHIL SA TANTRUMS NUNG BATANG YON).
Never pa nakaranas ng palo or anything yung pinsan kong yon, hindi siya nakatikim ng disiplina. Saming magpipinsan, SIYA LANG ANG MAY UGALING GANON! Di na nga nag aaral ng maayos, laging napapatawag magulang sa school (kasi apparently, lagi siyang nananabunot, nananakit ng classmate), and for some reason- IS REALLY INTO ASKING ABOUT STUFF SHE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO KNOW (kissing, relationships, boyfriends, etc..)
Going back to the main story, after I messaged her- tumawag tito ko. SO ANGRY and pinagmumura kaming lahat (naka call silang apat na magkakapatid). P I daw ako, mama ko, kapatid ko, kaming lahat. Bakit? minura ko daw pinsan ko.
I didn't. Buti nalang, as I sent my message- I was also on call with 2 of my other cousins. In fact, some of the message I sent are from them. Pero walang mura sa messages. I sent screenshots to all of them, proving na hindi ko minura ang pinakamamahal niyang anak na babae.
Nakakatawa lang, kasi my tito is such a liar. Still pushing the fact na minura ko yung bata and saying na wag na wag daw ako magpapakita don kung hindi ingungudngod niya daw pagmumukha ko.
Lol, as if he can do that. And if he did, I can report him. Not only if he do something to me, pero I can also report the abuse he's doing to his sons.
Isa pa, wala siyang karapatang pagbawalan ako don kasi HINDI NIYA BAHAY YON. Bahay yon ng grandparents namin, may documents proving that (na kay mama na ngayon). So kung ayaw niya mapalayas don, wala siyang karapatang ingudngod ako LOL. I can go there WHENEVER I WANT.
Syempre galit na galit kaming lahat. Mama ko, mga tita ko, at dahil don-- wala na silang (tito ko at pinakamamahal niyang anak) matatangap na sustento o kahit ano galing sa mama ko o sa mga tita ko (he's jobless, and yung mahal niyang asawa di gaano nagpapadala kasi napupunta sa mga anak niya sa unang asawa).
The audacity for him to get mad. Nilayasan na sila nung isa kong pinsan dati (M20). Bumalik lang dahil sa kapatid niyang isa (M17). Pero he told us na once na nasa edad na kapatid niya, lalayasan na nila sila don.
Couldn't wait for it to happen. As for us? wala na. Di ko na sila kinikilalang tito o pinsan (except sa dalawang lalake kong pinsan). Napatawad ko nga sila dati nung nagpakalat sila ng fake news na buntis daw ako. HAH di naman nila napatunayan. Then magsosorry sila ngayon? DI NA.
Ang lakas pa ng loob niyang sabihin na wala daw akong karapatan na murahin anak niya kasi wala naman daw ako naibigay sakanila- LOL MATAPOS KONG BILHAN NG SANDAMAKMAK NA GAMIT YUNG PINAKAMAMAHAL NIYANG ANAK AT TULUNGAN SILA SA FINANCES NILA, WALA?! Hindi ko sinusumbat pero ang kapal lang na ganon niya kami tratuhin.
Now, he and his precious daughter won't get anything from us anymore. Good riddance.
Edit: Salamat sa pagbasa ng hinanakit ko. Sa mga nagtatanong kung bat di namin kupkupin, tinry ko nang ibring up sa family ko yan (mama, step-dad, mga titas) pero tutol sila kasi di nga naman namin responsibilidad sila. Kung irereport naman namin si tito, ayaw din ng mga tita ko kasi kapatid padin nila, at hindi padin samin mapupunta mga pinsan ko; dun sa mother side sila mapupunta (ayaw din nila don kasi garapal din ugali ng mga yon. Kami lang talaga ang tumutulong sakanilang magkapatid)

Idk if this is the right subreddit. lol
Story time.
Yung grab namin pinag-antay kami ng halos 40 mins. Paikot ikot lang si Kuya Grab sa Julia vargas tsaka sa isang building malapit sa megamall na nakalimutan ko na yung name. Like legit na paikot ikot lang sya, minsan naka- stay lang sya sa location, tapos iikot uli. Mind you- that time hindi pa traffic jam. HAHAHA.
So since sobrang dami kong time sa mundo. I chatted him sabi ko willing kako akong mag intay gaano pa sya katagal. lol.
Then he replied, "papunta na daw sya".
No explanation or whatnot. I mean mag explain lang sana sya like - bakit it took too long for him na makapunta knowing na nasa podium lang sya nung na-booked namin sya. Maiintindihan ko sana sya, like kung may emergency ba sya or what. Unfortunately, wala.
So ako syempre napaisip ako na dun lang sya nag sabi nung sinabi ko na willing akong mag wait sa kanya gaano pa katagal. HAHA. The devil in me keeps whispering na "scammas to si kuya" lol.
So yun na nga --
Nung nasa Mega A na sya , paliko sa Mega B Curbside which yung pin ko. I cancelled yung booking. Ehh super traffic na dun. HAHAHA.
Sorry not sorry I guess. Reported him sa grab by the way.
Yun lang. HAHA.
End of story.
PS: Sorry sa grammar. Patawarin nyo na po, currently typing habang nakasakay sa bagong booked na Grab. Peace out! Just wanna get this off my chest. HAHA.
PS for the edit: Ni-compute ko, 40 mins lang pala. lol

Dati kami group of 12 friends (since 2009) pero habang tumatanda kami narerealize kong toxic kami ng iba sa isa't isa. I (28f) blocked 2 friends already - wala akong hiningi or iniwang explanation from them. When I felt that they wronged me, binlock ko na lang sila ng walang pasabi sa lahat ng socials. Sa 1st friend, andaming tanong ng group namin. Kesyo sya yung unang friend ko talaga sa group pero bakit di ko man lang sya binigyan ng chance. Nung sinend ko sa gc namin na diagnosed with anxiety disorder ako at ayoko ng triggers kaya umiiwas na lang ako tsaka lang sila tumigil. Sa 2nd friend namin, well lalake yun at from the start ng relationship nila ng LIP nya alam kong di nya ko gusto kaya binlock ko na lang sila pareho. Lol. In my POV toxic sila at for the sake of my mental health iniiwasan ko sila. Kung toxic din ako sa paningin nila, we'll it means we're not good for each other at tama lang siguro ang ginawa ko. Feeling ko din para akong nagsha-shutdown kapag ginagawa ko yun kase wala akong nararamdamang regrets kahit ang tatagal na naming friends.
We have friends na OFWs. Months pa lang sila (3 silang OFW) sa ibang bansa ay gumawa na ko ng itinerary namin kapag umuwi sila. Bakasyon galore ganon. Approved sila sa places at may mga dinagdag pa sila dun na ni-research ko pa rin. Bonding talaga namin magtravel together bago pa sila umalis ng bansa. When I say na itinerary, complete yun with details, budget for expenses, to-do and how many days. Kilala nila akong super organize kapag nagtatravel kami at never pa kami nag-over budget or pumalpak ang itinerary. I kept it in my google drive pero na-share ko na yung link sa kanila last year pa when I created it. Nung wala sila, nagtravel pa rin ako with my other group of friends pero never sa mga location na nasa list namin kase special yun saken. I looked forward to them going home kase sobrang excited ko silang makasama ulit. I even started shopping for outfits na last month because they said uuwi sila by June or July.
Eto na nga yung 1 friend namin umuwi sya na walang sinasabi samen. Nalaman ko lang kase nag-IG story sya at tingin ko di nya na-hide sa akin. Bihira din naman ako magbukas ng instagram kaya akala nya di ko makikita. Yung IG story nya puno ng travels nya dito sa Pinas and guess what??? Sa mga destination na nandun sa google drive ko. Yung pinaghirapan kong iplano, ginamit nya. Walang problema sana kung family nya ang kasama nya pero no. Mga college friends nya. I know na ginamit nila ang itinerary ko kase kahit mga simple activities nandun sa IG nya. I felt betrayed. Naiimagine ko na yung travels namin na magkakaibigan na after 2 yrs lang ulit masusundan sana. Sya ang pinakaclose ko talaga sa lahat ng friends namin pero bakit ganon? Bat hindi man lang nagpaalam??
I blocked her agad sa lahat ng socials. Masama ang loob ko na feeling ko kapag nireplyan ko yung IG stories nya ay may masasabi talaga akong masama. Ngayon nag-email sya sa company email ko at ang haba nun pero ayoko basahin. ABYG dito?

It is impossible to talk about places to visit in Kasauli and not mention Gorkha Fort. This is the historical heritage which makes you lost in the bravery stories of the past. Surrounded by dense pine forests, this fort was built by the Gorkhas in the year 1817. From the height of the fort, a picturesque view of Kasauli tourist destination is visible. Even today, 180 years old cannons are kept inside the fort, seeing which one can easily imagine the war skills of that time. For history lovers, this fort is no less than a treasure. By coming here you not only get the knowledge of history but the beauty of the mountains also touches your heart.

Sa last post ko, sabi ko pagod na ako makatanggap ng rejection emails and super sad ako. So update, I got a job, and I'm starting real soon. :)
While I'm thankful for this opportunity, I'm not 100% sure about it.
(1) Graveyard shift siya, and this will be my first time working during that shift. Tinatry ko na i-adjust yung katawan ko pero sobrang hirap ako, ang ending around 3-4 hours lang ang naitutulog ko. Nag try ako mag melatonin kaso nag-heart palpitations lang ako and di rin tumalab sakin. Takot ako na hindi ako fully makapag-adjust sa ganitong shift and masayang yung opportunity. Ang dami rin horror stories about working during graveyard shift (feeling nila zombie sila, never feeling fully rested, mas at risk sa mga sakit) kaya mas natatakot ako. Ang daming nagsasabing kahit gaano raw kalaki yung suweldo sa graveyard shift wag kukunin yung trabaho lol eh paano kung walang choice? Awheat
(2) Walang masyadong perks yung position, though macocover naman ng suweldo yung necessary payments sa SSS, Philhealth, etc.
(3) Medyo malayo sa course ko yung work. Keri naman, pero I can't help myself but compare who I am now to who my college classmates are now. Ang tataas ng posisyon, ang lalaki ng suweldo. I know I shouldn't compare myself sa kanila and hindi naman naka-attach yung worth ko sa trabaho at suweldo ko, pero minsan napapaisip lang talaga ako. Para bang nadidisappoint ako sa sarili ko, lalo na dahil pinili kong mag quit sa last job ko, na may full benefits, flexi time, and oks naman ang suweldo. Plus nag mental health break rin ako ng ilang buwan. I don't regret quitting and taking a break though kasi kung hindi feeling ko wala na ako sa earth ngayon.
Kung hindi ako 100% sure about this job, bakit ko tinanggap? Mare kailangan ko ng pera haha. Ang mahal mabuhay lol. Also, puro job rejections na natatanggap ko and natanggap ako dito so, pinatos ko na talaga.
Sabi nga rin ng therapist ko, lahat ng trabaho may downsides. In a perfect world, lahat tayo nakuha ang dream job natin at kumikita nang malaki. Kaso, we're not in a perfect world. So it's only a matter of "matitiis ko ba yung downsides"?
Ang isa sa mga bagay na nagmomotivate sakin na ituloy tong trabaho na to ay ang pera haha. Makakapag-therapy na ulit ako, kailangan na kailangan na ng menthol health ko jusko.
Edit: may dinagdag