One guys one horse

Hey,
How are ya’ll?
Quick one. Can I create movie & TV Show title sequences like an Avengers movie title sequence in Figma and then animate it in After Effects?
Trying to learn a new skill that I can possibly use in the future.

I’m getting a baby savannah monitor and have done my research. I know they’re insectivores. I’m very equipped to care for one. The only thing that I can’t find anywhere is if it is healthy for them to have quail eggs every once in a while maybe once a week or something like that Can anyone help me?

As the title says, has anyone else been having issues with enchanted dragons? I've been having issues with them for months and I assumed it be fixed by now.

• Races - when I use one in a race, there will be three versions of the dragon layered on top of each other (naked, natural, and conjured) they will be out of sync too so it's very hard to actually see the boosts
• Enchantments changing on their own - My dragon's enchantments have been changing on their own every once and a while. My Riptide dragons have flip-floped between natural and conjured a few times in the past 2 weeks. (Currently they're both on conjured)
• Crashing when I go to change it - Especially with both of my Riptide dragons, if I go to their profile and tap on the enchants button, the game will just crash to the title screen, I can't fix their costumes at all.
• Missing dragons in the Alter of Alteration - I keep twins of a good few enchant dragons and they do not show up in the Alter. Most of the one's missing also have the crashing and costume change issues, a few I can access from their profiles only.

Might be a bit rambling, had the thoughts in my head for a while before I could sit down and put them down, but looking at the trailer and images so far, a few thoughts come to mind, figured it wouldn't hurt to air 'em out.
So we know the what-if stuff is there, and with that and another detail we know that the story mode takes place from the viewpoint of eight different characters. So shades of Budokai 3 and the Supersonic Warriors games, in a way. Obviously half our choices for characters are gonna be Goku, Vegeta, Gohan, and Piccolo, major players in a lot of main battles across the series, beyond that it gets fuzzier, with options like Krillin, maybe Beerus (imagine his whole story up to a point is just choosing to wake up earlier and wreck a villain early on), or potentially at least one villain character like Frieza (not to mention early Vegeta possibly).
One thing I noticed about the image with the Raditz choice is the way the choice is shown on-screen. Rather than something simple like a text box with two choices, or something similar, it's a ring, with two points of light indicating the choices. Might be looking too far into it, but I feel like that could suggest the choices might not always be binary, one or the other, and we might get some situations where we have more than one way to deviate from the main story and see what the consequences therein lie. Just a thought.
As for the detail of the scenarios themselves, I imagine they won't go super far into the ramifications of the new choices outside of a few stages/battles. Especially dependent on how detailed the cutscenes for them will be (the fact that we're getting scenes like that for them at all surprised me a lot). Again similar to Supersonic Warriors, 2 specifically, where your branched paths would go for about two main stories and battles before giving that scenario an epilogue and moving on. I actually have my suspicions that the "go it alone" choice we see with Krillin following adds up to leading to the early Super Saiyan Goku scene we see and the two aren't separate options, and the branched path will end after beating Vegeta, but time will tell on that regard. Still, it would certainly be interesting if things went far enough that you could branch a path within a branched path; give a what-if to the what-if you're already in.
For that matter, I wonder if there'll be an overarching plot that gives a reasoning why the choices are even there, like its own story mode, or if it'll be a side mode where a narrator character says "you've seen the story unfold, now would you like to see how it could have changed?"
Additionally, we can see that the special costume for Goku swaps out one of his moves for a new supeblast attack, so we know costumes can have an effect on that...well, at least in that DLC case, time again will tell if that holds true in-game, but if it does, I wonder if that could lead towards options of characters getting non-canon moves as well. Non-canon forms...well, it seems unlikely we'll see those, in my personal opinion, but the idea that maybe a character can get different moves and abilities via a different costume (which might not actually be different but maybe a story exclusive costume version of them that has different moves), something like Xenoverse 2's versions of characters having different layouts even for the same outfit, feels like it could be something. Whether those new moves would be custom animations or just copying the animation off the original owner's to an extent is anyone's guess. But it makes me wonder if those who want to see Spirit Bomb or Kaioken on a different character than Goku might be able to get their wish somehow.
It very well could be that a lot of this is just digging too deep on too many sparse details, I don't want to get myself too hyped up in case it's nowhere near as deep, but from what we've glanced so far, there certainly seems to be potential for some crazy stuff depending on how far they wanna go.

WARNING: This is classified as a fan-fiction in the Hazbin Hotel world. I know FF is frowned upon by many. This story is set 99% in an original world with only one HH character as a major character. The story is original, the world is mine, as well as the OCs.
Title: Angel's Demon
Word Count: 136,466
Genres: Supernatural ThrilleRomance
Audience: 16+
Trigger Warnings: Violence, Death, Gore, Sexual assault/molestation (implied only), Sexual situations (On page), profanity, drinking, smoking. (TBH, it just clicked how dark this sounds)
Feedback requested: Obvious plot holes. Missing details (I know for a fact I need to add descriptive text for character introductions during revisions), the fact that I have sections that change from present to past tense (I know of a few but getting them all pointed out as I begin working on editing will be SO welcomed) Confusion about action/events. and I welcome suggestions to add details to certain situations to flesh out what may seem lacking (A battle between two demons is far shorter than I'd intended, and will likely improve that as well) As for grammar, spelling and so on; I have a couple of programs that point those out. If anyone were to say 'Hey, let me edit for you'.. after four months of writing.. I'd scream yes.
Summary: Kevin Collins, AKA "Angel" Is an ex-special forces ranger turned tracker. His self imposed mission; to find and rescue lost, kidnapped and exploited children. On one of his missions, he stumbles upon an injured woman. Believing she's a victim who escaped, he takes her to his van and dresses her wounds, asking who she is. She says her name is Charlotte, but she can't remember anything else. She asks how he found her, and he explains what he's there for. When she learns that children are in danger, she changes into a demon; something that scares the both of them. She begs Angel to not abandon her, and offers to use her powers to help him on his mission. He agrees, and so begins their journey to save souls, discover her past and in the process; fall in love. However, their journey will attract the attention of an evil so great, it threatens to rip them apart and make Charlotte into the most dangerous demon on Earth.
Scene Summary: Charlotte's first semi- solo mission to find and rescue a lost child in the mountains. (chapter 6)
Seconds had ticked by and Charlotte was already ahead of the groups that had begun to fan out. She cleared 50 yards ahead and stopped. Closing her eyes, she inhaled as deeply as she could and was greeted with a barrage of smells. Trees, bushes, animals, flowers, insects.. she could detect them all. But the scent of the boy was absent. Determined, she began to run, her cloven feet deftly carrying her over fallen branches, jagged trails and she moved in a wide zig-zag pattern, covering a lot of distance in minutes. Stopping at a sound she hadn’t quite picked up before, she closed her eyes and recognized a river, flowing fast in the distance south of her. She took another strong whiff and was greeted by the scent of water, algae, fish, mud and..
Her eyes snapped open. The boy’s scent was mixed into the rolling smells of the river! Turning towards the strongest of the smells, she picked up her pace and raced towards the river, opening up all of her senses to their max. In moments, she stood on the bank and looked down at the rushing waters. The sun had faded and now with the overcast clouds, twilight was taking hold. Darting her eyes and inhaling as deep as she could, she picked up two things; the scent of fear and distant crying.
“Angel?” She whispered into the headset. In took a couple of beats, and she heard his smooth voice.
“I’m here. Had to move away a bit from the others first. You have something?”
“I got his scent! I can’t tell how far off he is, but I think he’s in the river!”
Angel hissed urgently, “Go! Find him!”
She didn’t give a response as her legs started moving. Heart aching, Charlotte followed the scent and sound for nearly 300 yards down river, having now gone out of the search grid area. Thanks to her demon form, she alighted over the rough terrain, her eyes wide to let all the possible light in and give her a clear view of her surroundings. A quick pause to listen, the sounds of crying now lapped over the sounds of the river and she honed in.
Stepping over a ridge of an embankment, she looked down into the rushing water and there was the boy, stuck in a fallen tree that was a third of the way into the fast moving river. She quickly accessed that he had to have fallen in some place upstream and got carried to this spot, catching the tree to stop himself, but the water was too fast for him to pull himself out. She could tell he was fading, fast. If she didn’t get him out, he’d drown.
“Angel!” She radioed, “I found him! I found him! Track the tag! I have to get him out, now!”
“I’m coming!” Angel’s voice affirmed, with a hint of pride for her, and she clicked off the radio and looked around, seeing what she could do.
“Fuck, if only I had wings!” She cursed her limitations, but pushed it aside as she needed to rely on what she did have. Moving down to the edge of the river, Charlotte saw that he was out of her reach by some twenty feet. Testing the strength of the fallen tree, she tentatively started to crawl out but could only get half way when she heard snapping. The tree was not going to hold her weight if she went any further. Quickly thinking, Charlotte wrapped her demon tail around a thicker branch and slipped into the rushing water, the force more than she anticipated and it knocked her against the tree.
“OOMPH!” She let out a pained shout and the boy looked her way, eyes bloodshot from crying and let out a fearful whimper. Cursing herself again, she bit her lip and reached out for him. She knew he'd be scared at the feeling but if she could carry him around the tree and swim him to shore, maybe he’d think he got a current to lead him ashore.
Charlotte reached out but he was still out of her reach and she couldn’t get closer. She saw a six foot thick branch, broken off from the tree, lodged in among the other branches and thought if only she’d grabbed it first, she could reach him with it. She stared at the branch for an infinite but split second moment, wishing she had it and then she felt something solid in her clawed hand.
The branch she wanted had blinked out of it’s lodged spot to reappear in her grip, conjured as if by magic. Charlotte gasped. How? How!? She pushed the question aside and slipped the branch through the water until it nudged the boy. Would he grab it? She took a chance. “Grab the branch.” She spoke just loud enough for him to hear.
“Wha..?” He couldn’t say much else, his strength was giving out, and he was losing consciousness.
“Please, sweetie, grab hold… trust me.. please.. please.”
Subconsciously, he did as she asked and she pulled steady and firmly those frightening last few feet against the force of the river and brought him to her. She retracted her claws, letting her human hands take over and she grabbed him and pulled him to her. He was out, his body having given up and she put all of her strength into her tail and it pulled her till she could get her waist above the torrent of water. Lifting the boy into her arms and growling deep, she lunged and landed them roughly on the mud and sludge of the river’s edge. She flipped onto her back, the boy held in her tight embrace and she lay on her back, breathing hard, energy spent and she started crying.
He heard him take in a shuddering breath, followed by regular breathing and she cried harder, holding him close and comforting. I won’t let anything happen to you, she thought. I won’t let anything happen to ANYONE! She declared to herself.
She lost track of how long she lay there, body pressed into the cold wet mud, her cloven hooves splashed with lapping water at the river’s edge, but her ears picked up Angel nearing her and she sniffled in relief. She looked up over above and behind her as falling dirt signaled Angel’s arrival at the edge of the embankment.
Angel saw the boy suspended inches above the mud, as if floating and he slid down to kneel next to him and Charlotte’s invisible form.
“You okay?” He whispered.
Charlotte’s wet filled throat croaked back, exhausted “Take him.”
Angel slid his arms under the boy, sliding over Charlotte’s body and she closed her eyes, grateful for his touch and he lifted the boy up and off of her. He stood, boy cradled in his arms, and looked down at the human shaped indent in the mud.
“You can come out.”
The mud shifted but Charlotte didn’t appear.
“I.. I’ll meet you back at the van.”
The tone in her voice told Angel all he needed to know, and without another word, Angel took the boy and began the trek back to meeting spot.
When Angel had moved a distance away, Charlotte finally pulled herself to her feet and wrapped her arms around herself, and felt the sludge slide down her back, her blonde hair nearly a fully dyed shit-brown, and shivered in the growing cold. Taking slow deep breaths, Charlotte pulled at her demon powers and her body began to sizzle, steam rising up off her body, both warming her and drying her. She was still so dirty but the chill in her bones had gone. The few moments alone allowed her to regain her composure, and with a crack of her neck, she turned and took off at a full run, and headed back to the van.

Currently in the oilfield doing wellhead but am very interested in changing it up and getting into Wireline work, What companies are the best to work foe or ones you would suggest in Alberta?

I have a blue rare ralts and feel like I have to start every run with it because of its rarity and just the utility of gallade with sharpness or gardevoir with its strength and fairy typing. I only have one red rare and it is a joltik. My only other blue rares are cottonee and gen 1 meowth. Should I keep using my ralts? Should I see if I can find something I like better? I find myself losing a lot more if I don’t have either ralts evo.

If you open a pub lobby and expect to stealth- forget it, you're better off on your own.
If you really want to stealth with people on pubs, atleast type in the pre game chat y'all begged them to add for this exact reason.

I have been putting a lot of hours into Blue Protocol lately (JP version obviously) and it is a bit of an odd duck. The game is quite good in some ways. It looks gorgeous, runs well enough, combat is fun (especially after the 8 skill update), and the story and characters are actually pretty good. But it is also deeply flawed in many ways. And the more time I put into it the more I get irritated with its faults, which mostly relate to the god awful endgame loop. I do sincerely believe that even if it got released globally now, it would not be received well.
So I thought I would make a list of things that need fixing...in no particular order.

• Bugs - There are still some significant bugs that absolutely need addressing. The most significant being when there's too much going on the whole instance freezes up and enemies won't even move or attack, they just turn into punching bags. This happens every single time in 'raids'. It has been an issue for months now and needs to be fixed. It turns these fights into a complete joke.
• The 'raid' system itself - I'm sorry but I want to punch whoever thought it was a good idea to have players repeat the exact same 'raid' over and over for an entire hour. Even if you fix the freezing bug and make the fight less of a joke this is still going to be boring. Take a hint from what PSO2 does for urgent quests (which is much closer to what these are): have a lockout so you can only complete the 'raid' once every time it's available. Increase rewards to compensate and make it available more than just a few times a day. And make the fights themselves take a bit longer at least (currently they can be finished in just a couple of minutes). Then they could at least be a fun diversion to mix things up, instead of feeling like a chore.
• Adventure boards suck - They could be OK if used more sparingly, but do they really need a unique adventure board for every single enhance imajin? These things are not interesting or engaging to complete, it just feels tedious. And why are they so inconsistent about what happens when they're not active? You can only have 10 active at a time (which may sound like a lot but it really isn't given how many of these damn things you end up with...), but some progress tracks even when they're not active...but not all progress. It's just annoying to keep track of. At least just make them all active all the time. But really, half of them should be eliminated entirely. There's no need to have this many.
• Grinding mobs like this will never be fun - Goddamn does BP want you to grind mobs though. Whether it's to complete an adventure board, a quest, or just because you need a particular drop, spawn camping mobs is a significant part of what you will do in this game. And it's as fun as that sounds...which is to say, not fun at all. I honestly think this is one of the biggest issues with the game, but also one of the hardest things to fix because so much is built around it. But they could at least try to make things more dynamic. Usually it's like the exact same mobs spawn in particular locations so you are literally just sitting in place waiting for things to spawn between kills. Moving around is literally a waste of time. If you compare this to something like combat zones in NGS (I can't believe I'm using that game as a positive example of anything, but here we are...) then spawns are much more dynamic and you're always moving around the field. Plus there are trials and stuff to mix things up. In BP you just stand in one spot and the only challenge is to get a hit in on the mob you want to kill before somebody else nukes it since you don't get any rewards if you don't hit it. And somebody else will nuke it if you hesitate...that's its own problem. And for real, this is a major part of what you will do in this game. It's mind numbing.
• Needs some actual challenging endgame content - This is something Bamco has at least made attempts to address, so I'll give them that. Some of their solutions are just weird though. Like OK, I'll grant them that the new SP stuff is hard but it's such an odd game mode and so different from what most people expect from an MMORPG endgame that it feels like something that should be a cool extra and not the only challenging endgame content. Advanced dungeons are moderately challenging but they're still primarily just stuff you grind for gear and they're really not that hard once you're used to them. Give us some proper team-based endgame challenges. Could be a raid (a real one I mean), could be something else, but we need something.
• There's too much gear - Odd complaint maybe, but hear me out. The pace they release new gear at is honestly too fast. I guess it's their way to keep people engaged or something, but there's more gear being added in literally every monthly update. To be clear, it's not interesting gear. Slightly better stats, sure, but nothing fundamentally new or different. It just feels empty. Most MMOs will limit new gear to more significant updates and acquiring that gear actually means something. In BP I don't even install plugs in most of my weapons because I know I'm just going to replace them soon anyway and it feels like a waste... (and besides there's nothing challenging enough to need them anyway, see above)
• Where is the social content? - BP defenders will sometimes say it's more of a casual, social game and so you shouldn't expect hardcore raids or something from it. But...it's extremely lacking as a social game as well. There just isn't much to actually do in the game outside of combat. How about some minigames, things to do in town, or actual life skills? I know they have talked about the housing stuff so that's something but it's still not here yet and what they did show was kind of underwhelming.
• There aren't enough ways to get cosmetics - But they need to monetize something, you say! Here's the thing, though; Even if you're willing to spend money if you don't like the handful of outfits in the current gacha then there isn't even anything to spend money on. I've spent enough time in the game I would be willing to send some money their way (assuming I can figure out how...) but then I look through the store and there's nothing I actually want. It's pretty weird. There's only one gacha banner available at any time, it lasts for a while, and the stuff in it can be very hit-or-miss frankly. I feel like BP needs more cosmetic options in general but it also needs more ways to get them. Maybe a premium store with a rotating selection or something. Usually we complain about games being over-monetized but BP's store is so underwhelming right now it's actually kind of under-monetized...not saying I want them to nickle and dime me for everything, just give me stuff I might actually want to buy. And the free cosmetic options you can get in game are also super limited. I just want more options...

There's probably more I didn't think of but that's enough for now...

BC students - I'm looking for some advice, please. My goal is to get into UBC's Bachelor of Science Major in Computer Science program. I have been out of HS for 9 years, I want to change paths in life and become a software developer. Unfortunately, I wasn't the best science student and did not take pre-cal, only foundations 11 math (A) or any grade 12 level science classes. I got an 82 (B) in Chem 11 but I do not remember most of it.
To get into the program I need to excel at either bio, chem or physics 12 and pre cal 12.
I am willing to spend every night this summer learning precal and re-learning chem 11 if needed.
My question is, would it be quickecheaper to do adult upgrading (ok college, VCC or EBUS academy)
OR
Start university at TRU bachelor of science program / CapU associates or science program, crush it for a year (or two), and then transfer into UBC?
Is paying the uni equivalent of these HS courses worth the credit, or should I get them for free through community college and continue working full-time until they are complete?
I appreciate the help fellow students this is a tough one for me!

I spend entirely too much time making fan expansion concepts about things I'd like to see WoW explore in the future. My first was actually related to nerubians and Azeroth's underworld, so it only took like 15 years for that one to come true. When the Worldsoul Saga was introduced, what could I do but make my own fan-saga.
And here it is: The Throne of Destruction Saga, my thoughts about themes and places WoW can explore after the Worldsoul Saga.
The three parts of it can be read in gdocs here:
​
They're filled with art and writings. Some of the art's mine, some of it's Blizzard's, and some of it is AI generated images (environmental concepts are hard).
I hope you enjoy them.

There is a tournament coming up in July, about 50 days from now or so. I’ve always wanted to compete, but don’t know if I should for this one.
For context: In December, I hurt my lower back practicing outer reap, after six months I finally got steroid shots in my spine, which is supposed to treat my inflammation(I also found out I have arthritis lol). This treatment was done like a week ago and nurse said it’ll take around 10 days for steroids to take full effect. As of now it still hurts, but I’m sure it will heal soon, I hope.
Anyway, during that 6 months. I didn’t do a lick of Jiu Jitsu, I got hurt right after getting my blue belt, I would say I was pretty decent. But I didn’t train any Jiu Jitsu, I didn’t do any training for anything at all. My stamina got real bad, I can feel that I’ve lost a lot of strength and flexibility, as well as gained weight(in fat, about 15 pounds). I can also see the skill drop too, I tried rolling like once or twice with my brother while hurt, who no longer does Jiu Jitsu, it took me 10 minutes to tap him out, when it usually takes me 1.
I’ve gained weight, lost strength and stamina, and lost some skill. Essentially what I am asking is should I compete? I want to, I never have competed and I have always wanted to, but don’t know if I’ll be back in good standing to do so. Would ya’ll say 40-50 days is enough time to get back my skills and strength? And if I do compete, how do I know what weight I should compete at? I’m 6’2, 205 lbs, currently.
Thanks in advance

so about a year ago, my bfs dad hatched this idea that we should move to my bfs hometown. he would let us stay in his bachelor pad for free (since he was moving out to live with his gf) while my bf went back to school for a program his dad was doing. i didn’t want to move because I loved my job, friends, our house, and our peaceful life in our little town. but i tried to be open to the idea for my bfs sake because he was excited about it
last spring, we had a bit of a falling out with my bfs dad. he started making all sorts of demands of us like we couldn’t bring our dog when we moved, that i needed to buy my own car (we share my bfs), etc. I found out he had given my tv (he had offered to store for us until the move) to his gf to mount up at her house. the last straw was when we found out he was planning to live with us at his bachelor pad. we told him we were still willing to move to his hometown, but were going to find a place to rent
my bfs mom (divorced to his dad) offered to let us rent her old house. his older brother had been living there but was moving out. the brother and everyone involved said they were down with this new plan, and we scheduled a date and regularly checked in with the brother. but after we had finished loading our u-haul and were literally on the road to his hometown, we got a call from the brother saying he wasn’t ready for us to move in and needed another day. he had made arrangements for us to spend the night at his moms place instead
when we finally got to the house the next day, we discovered that the brother hadn’t packed a single thing and was also a hoarder. the entire house was piled high in garbage and food that had expired in 2019. he hadn’t cleaned at all since his divorce (and yes, he has partial custody of his kids..). we found out his mom was kicking him out because he wasn’t paying rent but he was supposed to be moving into his grandmas old house for free
the following days were filled with discoveries like drugs and bed bugs. the electricity and plumbing and half the appliances didn’t work. we’ve been pouring all of our time and savings into trying to clean, repair, and move the brother’s things to make the house livable. his brother lied about working and hasn’t even visited in weeks. his mom recently had a minor surgery but did send my bf some money to assist with the costs of repairs and treating the bed bugs (which we will have to pay off for 2 years). a few family members have stopped by for a couple hours total. only my bfs dad has come over for more than that to help since he’s good at repairs and wanted to help
we appreciate the dads help so much and we couldn’t afford to hire someone else. but it’s difficult to have him over so often. he doesn’t respect boundaries well and comes over whenever he feels like it, sometimes when we are asleep, leaving me feeling like i never get a chance to catch my breath in my new home. there’s still some tension with him and his gf left from last spring. i found out they blamed all the falling out on me since they don’t know me, even though my bf was the one calling with them. my bf finally just got them to return my tv and they had broken one of the legs
today, there was some drama around our mini fridge and microwave we had offered to the gfs son for college (she said she didn’t know if he could have them in his dorm yet, so we said we will sell them if he can’t. she wants us to give them to her tomorrow anyway and we held firm that we want to wait until we know Wednesday if he can have them. she left us on read). i told his dad yesterday when he invited himself in as we were sitting down to eat takeout, that we needed some alone time to recuperate from cleaning, interviewing, and meeting lots of new people. but he ended up sending my bf some money telling us to pick up ingredients to cook for him and his gf tomorrow. im just exhausted and want to stay home at this point (but feel like him and his gf would hold it against me). how do i begin to feel sane in this situation?

Just a quick heads up to anybody forced into less than ideal living conditions. Cockroaches can and will gather inside your power supply and make it explode.
If you are living with these fukn worthless, miserble, please just go extinct, vermin. I highly recommend turning your PC completely off, and unplugging, any time that it's not in use. That and cleaning it out as frequently as you possibly can.
Ideally of course, is the "Don't be in a place with roaches" advice, but if you have no choice of what location you occupy, and no sufficient way to destroy all the little fukrs, I warn you now- yes, roaches exploding your PSU IS a thing.
If this warning saves even one person this, then I'll take that as my job done.

I (30F) saw some vaguely similar topics here and just want to know if I’m alone or not, I guess. I haven’t written this out anywhere before. Please let me know if you do something even remotely similar, I’m at the end of my rope -
I feel like I “wear” another person around me most of the day. I created a character in high school to cope with my abandonment, I guess (this character lives a highly dramaticised version of my life, basically) but it turned into something that I think about every day, even now.
For context, I was homeschooled for 15 years and experienced what I would consider isolation and physical/emotional abuse. My mom was a narcissist and my dad was emotionally completely distant and never talked to me. But they were the only people in my life (and my brother) for many years. My only female “friends” didn’t like me. I did not have any normal life experiences, really. The best thing that ever happened to me was meeting my now-husband at 18. But I’d say everything else was really bad.
ANYWAYS. I ended up writing a book about this character, on and off for over ten years. Every song I like, I like because it reminds me of him. I only really wear clothes that remind me of him. It makes me uncomfortable to not “feel” like him. It’s caused me to experience massive gender dysphoria (even though I don’t really think I’m trans, I just find myself wanting to be as close to this character as possible). I spend so much of my day inside this character’s head that it’s jarring to me when people compare me to actresses or other women (in my head, I look like this guy, lol). However, I don’t want to be a man, and I like how I look.
I also spend a lot of time looking for characters that remind me of my character. When i find them, i will immerse myself in the movies/books, draw them a lot, etc.
I’m feeling nauseous typing this out. It’s kind of A shameful topic for me. I feel very alone in this. I feel like my friends don’t even know the real me because they know me but not my character. I feel like my character is more “me” than Me.
I have talked to therapists about this, and they suggest it’s just my way of integrating myself/inner child type stuff, but I just haven’t EVER met anyone else who does this. I feel abnormal and crazy. But this whole thing is also one of my biggest sources of joy. It brings me a lot of elation to think about my character and imagine his emotions and surroundings. He triumphed over his abusers in ways I never could and never will be able to (I still talk to my family, etc).
I’ll stop writing for now, I think I got most of my point out. Thank you for reading, So much. I would really be relieved to find other people who also have a character hovering around them at all times.

My heart doesn’t feel so heavy anymore, P. You did it. You figured out the magic words.
They were the words I needed to hear. I didn’t even know there were words that could do it. All I knew was the ache inside my chest, that now finally feels a little better.
I know how difficult that must have been. I will never ask you to say it again. I promise.
Jesus Christ. Thank you, Baby.
I am actually thanking you, and not the ancient Jewish carpenter. Just to be clear!
I don’t hate you. How could I possibly? Not even if I wanted to.
…And I HAVE occasionally, really, really fucking wanted to….
It is a fool’s errand.
It was the logical choice to make.
As much as I fucking hate admitting that, it was. I just never imagined there’d be competition for your heart, as profoundly arrogant as that sounds.
You don’t have any for mine.
I had so much faith in us, because what we shared was so….there isn’t a noun that could do it justice.
It was so beyond the sane and familiar, it couldn’t have been real, right? No treasonable adult would have made a different choice.
Not in the sensible, real, grown up world. Where we live.
Unfortunately.
I was just so unprepared for the shock and pain of losing you. It was so fucking unbearable. It was an equally powerful sensation to my love for you, and it nearly fucking did me in.
My heart has never been so broken. It was somehow oddly easier, when I thought yours wasn’t also broken. When I thought you must barely remember me.
I could just sit around, blaming myself. Easy. I can do that in my sleep.
I don’t want you to worry about me, OK? If you’re thinking about me at all, I’d rather you think about a fun activity we would both thoroughly enjoy. I do that at least once a day :)
I’m going to be fine, and so will Kiddo. I’m strong, and I have good people around me. I’m gonna kick arse so hard, it be upside down and inside out by the time I’m finished. It’s what I’m good at. I’m good in a scrap, for better or worse.
I know you didn’t ask, but I should say that I’m not going to wait around for you. That would be insane.
And as we know, what we have is insane, but I am not insane!
^{Not quite.}
BUT
^{YAY, BUT STUFF!}
😉
Bass is about to drop, so pay attention.
On that day,
I better fucking be the very first thought you have.
My name better fucking be the first groggy utterance to escape your lips.
My number better be the first fucking number you dial.
The first fucking fucking everything. Got it?
No rebounds.
No One Night Stands.
Don’t you fucking so much as sniff another woman (or man, NB or otherwise identifying human being).
^{You know, I am actually a pretty decent lawyer.}
Don’t you fucking dare.
I have right of first refusal on your mind, body and soul.
No exceptions.
I’m only kidding.
That was a test. I’m fucking not kidding.
Fuck your inalienable human rights. I don’t recognise them.
I’m being deadly fucking serious.
The moment you rise from the ashes of your former existence, with the capacity to face the outside world.
From that precise moment, my love. You are travelling.
In a straight line. As the crow flies.
I am your singular destination. You don’t stop over to visit home. You don’t pass GO.
You get on the earliest available, most fucking direct flight here, and you show up on my fucking doorstep to hear my answer.
That’s only like…mildly-medium crazy….ish. Right ?
Eh. I don’t fucking care. In this one circumstance, if it occurs. You will let me boss you around.
If you show up for me, Gorgeous….we’ll be square :)
I think that’s fair. We can both live with that.
My God. I say the most batshit insane shit to you. How is it possible that you could still love me?
I’m going to keep this account, but I will REALLY try not to write to you.
I don’t know if it is right to do it anymore. It probably isn’t helping either of us.
I will almost certainly fall off the wagon, sometimes. I’ll try my best not to do it too often. I hope you can forgive me when I do.
In the meantime, we can just watch each other feed the trolls and admire each other’s cats. I’ll have one soon. Batcat. Kiddo chose it.
Well, then….. It’s about time to sign off.
Until my next Rum and Coke too many, my love. Take good care of my heart, you gorgeous and remorseless fucking thief :)
❤️