This is genuinely so stupid. I (22M) developed some issues with insomnia when I was ~18. Every now and then, I live on maybe 2 hours of sleep a night for a while, because I'll be unable to fall asleep. I've never seen a doctor about this, because I think it's stress related, and it always (temporarily) resolves itself.
Last week, I was driving to my parents' house around 9 a.m., to help them with something in their lawn. I hadn't slept at all the night before that; at 6 a.m. I had given up on trying. The night before that, I only got a few hours. As I was driving, I kept feeling myself zoning out. Eyes were super heavy and all. I kinda thought I was just... doing a long blink, until I was brutally awoken by loud noises and an abrupt shake.
Turns out I drove into a large pole at the side of the road. I think it used to be used for telephone connection? What happened after that is kind of vague, I remember knowing I was in my car and I crashed, but I felt super disoriented. I had a loud ringing in my ears and I remember feeling pain but being unable to pinpoint where. I was just confused and still half asleep for a while, until a few paramedics dragged me out of my seat. Turns out, the car behind me saw what happened and called 911.
Anyway, I dislocated my hip, that was pretty nasty. It took multiple tries, and a lot of screaming on my side I admit, to get that back where it belongs. Still feels wobbly and awful to bend/walk on. Torso took a bit of a beating and I had to stay in the hospital until some mild internal bleeding cleared. I was able to take a non-bloody shit the day before yesterday and they let me go home straight after.
Parents were quite upset I risked my safety to do some yard work for them. Wrecked my still kind of new BMW, X2 series to be exact. My body feels like I got run over by a train; hip area hurts, stiff back and neck, bruises everywhere, but no fractures or anything serious thankfully. And it's obviously better to hit a pole than another car with someone else in it, so that's a small win.
TL;DR: I underestimated the physical effects of my sleep deprivation, fell asleep while driving, and wrecked my car

The "Supersized Snatch Game" Challenge results are in!
Mirage & Willow Pill have won the "Make a Drag Doll based on your Freaky Friday Drag Race Fusion" Mini Challenge!
After the challenge, Ashley Madison, Arizona Brandy, Gala Varo, Katya, Kween Kong, Mirage, Pupi Poisson, and Willow Pill are declared safe. All queens step to the back of the stage and enter the untucked lounge, leaving the tops and bottoms for their critiques.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

ON THE MAINSTAGE...
Ella Vaday receives positive critiques from the judges. The judges have been waiting to critique Ella because they know she's a brilliant queen. Her performance as Mystic Meg was hilarious, taking a character that isn't particularly well known to most people and making her the star of the Snatch Game. Her responses were hilarious; her horoscopes for the other contestants showed her knowledge of their celebrities and allowed her to have some funny interactions. Clearly, she understood the game inside and out, and that was the same thing they felt last week in the Advert, though they couldn't critique her. Their main focus, however, is the runway. She's a gorgeous girl, and this is true, but they want to see her become more modern. Her looks are far too trapped in a specific "decade."
Gigi Goode receives positive critiques from the judges. RuPaul can 100% say that Gigi Goode was born to do drag. She's just that good at it. Every week, she's been showing the judges that she's a rather intelligent girl when it comes to the fusion of pop culture into her drag aesthetic, and this week is no different. Taking a character such as Siri, which no queen would ever expect someone to do because she has no look, was genius. She turned Siri into a conniving bitch, having her responses and interactions range from tame to batshit insane. The inner workings of her mind popped off this week because she showed just how far she can go in a challenge. Her runway feels like a "Beautiful Nightmare," a horrific spider woman turned into a pinup doll. It was so genius yet so simple, executed perfectly.
Panthera Virus receives negative critiques from the judges. Panthera majorly disappointed them this week because it was clear that she was super passionate about playing ARCA and 100% had a look down, but she didn't try and make her funny. Yes, she played ARCA very well, but the Snatch Game is about making RuPaul laugh, and she didn't make the judges laugh once with any of her responses. Especially because RuPaul doesn't know her very well, he tries to throw her a bone to get a feel of her by asking her many questions, but she doesn't seem to get it and plays the character very straight. If she's going to be continuing in the competition, she has to tune herself comedically. They compliment her on her runway, saying they adore this demonic rockstar. However, they want to see her in something other than black.
Plane Jane receives positive critiques from the judges. Based on this snatch game performance, Plane Jane would've gotten them bombed with how much she mocked Vladimir Putin with her performance. From using prosthetics to change her face to making fun of his mannerisms and policies to constantly "colonizing" other queens' seats in the Snatch Game--it was an off-the-wall hilarious performance. She reeled it in from last week and learned to tone down her jokes, so the real ones that were the actual hits had all the room to shine that they wanted. This truly made her stand out in the fact that all of her jokes were hits. However, they have to say that though her "Beautiful Nightmare" look gets the category done, they think the drag leotard concept is growing old on them quickly.
Shannon Skarllet receives negative critiques from the judges. They know that Shannon is a queen with great comedic timing, and they think she was trying too hard this week. She's been hungry for a win, but she has to remember that there are 14 other girls. There's so much time to get a win so early on. Wins lost this early aren't taking away from her star power. However, that was communicated in her Snatch Game because she was trying so hard to be noticed that she impeded on other queens' segments and didn't make sense with her performance. She was funny, but it was to the point of desperation instead of flowing naturally. Her runway could be better because they don't see the nightmare aspect, although she's beautiful. She's a fallen angel, so she must commit to the concept.
Tessa Testicle receives negative critiques from the judges. Tessa had a lot on her plate, seeing as she didn't prepare for the Snatch Game and had trouble picking a character, so she just stuck with her most recent idea, which showed in the challenge. Her performance could have been better because every time they approached her with a question, she gave maybe a sentence as an answer and just remained quiet, not talking with any of the other queens or trying to engage in banter. Even when queens like Katya engaged with her, she had no rebuttal or quick thinking for her character. Every part of it was undelayed and prepared. However, they do think that she impressed them on the runway. RuPaul knows that Tessa is a star and wants her to see it in this gorgeous inner muscle-contoured bodysuit/facekini.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

AFTER DELIBERATION...
WIN: Gigi Goode
HIGH: Ella Vaday / Plane Jane
SAFE: Arizona Brandy / Ashley Madison / Gala Varo / Katya / Kween Kong / Mirage / Pupi Poisson / Willow Pill
LOW: Tessa Testicle
BOTTOM 2: Panthera Virus / Shannon Skarllet
The Bottom Two Queens will Lip-Sync for Their Lives to "You Better Run" by Pat Benatar. This is their Last Chance to Impress RuPaul and save themselves from Elimination. Good Luck, and Don't Fuck It Up!
POLL / Track Record

First / Previous / Royal Road / Patreon (Read 12 Chapters Ahead)

When the sun had finally fully set, Pale put her plan into motion. She took one last glance out at the checkpoint ahead of them, then turned to Kayla.
"Lie down on the ground and cover your ears."
"What?" Kayla asked. "What does that mean? What are you planning to do?"
"You'll see. Just do it."
Kayla pursed her lips, but didn't argue, instead following Pale's directions to the letter. Once she was situated, Pale turned her attention back to the checkpoint. She'd done some thinking about this, and ultimately decided that the most efficient and least destructive way to get through would be to sacrifice a pod. This was a bit of a problem, as she only had a few pods to begin with, but it was better than using heavy ordinance in order to punch a hole clean through.
"You ready?" Pale asked.
"What?" Kayla said, looking to her in confusion with her hands still clamped over her ears. "What'd you just say?"
Pale took that as her cue to act. She snapped her fingers, and a few seconds later, a flaming piece of metal came hurtling down from the sky, embedding itself directly in the center of the berserkers' checkpoint. From inside, she heard panicked shouts escape from the occupants, as well as a few pained moans; clearly, the impact had incapacitated a few of them.
Then the pod exploded.
The log walls to the checkpoint buckled under the shockwave, rolling across the ground before coming to a rest a short ways away. Through the ringing in her ears, Pale heard the men from inside the fort screaming in terror and agony. Several spells were being launched blindly in the night, their casters unable to hit anything thanks to being disoriented from the blast and blinded from the resulting cloud of smoke and dust.
Pale grabbed Kayla and thrust her to her feet, then charged in towards the camp, shotgun in hand. The smoke had begun to clear just as she got there, revealing the full extent of the destruction. Mutilated bodies lay littered across the field, scattered around a large crater dug deeply into the center of the area. From the looks of things, most of the bandits had been killed outright by either the impact of the pod or the explosion, and the few survivors had been completely deafened by it and were riddled with injuries. Many of them looked like they could barely stand, and several were only being kept alive thanks to that same red magical aura from earlier.
Pale didn't waste any time. She shouldered her weapon, then took aim at the nearest bandit and fired, reducing his head to little more than a fine pink mist. Pumping her shotgun, she transitioned to her next target, putting him down just as easily. Next to her, Kayla opened up with some of her lightning, sending streaks of it arcing through the night and towards the nearest survivor.
That seemed to be too much for the few who were still left. Rather than stand and fight, they turned and tried to run away, sprinting off into the night. Kayla immediately stopped engaging; Pale, meanwhile, took aim and continued to fire until her weapon ran dry, riddling each fleeing man with a shell full of buckshot straight to the back.
And just like that, it was over. A heavy silence fell over the camp, the only noise that interrupted it being the nearby waves lapping at the shore. Pale began to thumb loose shells into her weapon, then motioned for Kayla to follow after her.
"Come on," she urged. "I think I see some boats over on the shoreline."
Kayla tore her gaze away from the carnage around them, looking back to her. Pale half-expected her to say something about how she'd just shot fleeing men, but Kayla stayed silent, instead simply nodding, stone-faced. Together, they made their way over to the shore, and sure enough, there were several boats lined up on the sand.
"Do you know how to work one of these things?" Kayla asked. "I've never been on one before…"
"We'll figure it out," Pale said. "Take that small one, it looks like it has room for three people."
Kayla looked at her, surprised. "Only three? What about the others?"
"If there are any others, they'll have to fend for themselves."
"We can't just leave freed slaves there!"
"And we won't," Pale assured her. "Slavery is a taboo even among my creators, and they made sure to pass their hatred of it on to me as well, but our first priority is getting your father back safely. Once we've done that, we can start going back for others. And as much as a large boat would help us with that right now, it's simply not feasible with just the two of us here to operate it. Understand?"
Reluctantly, Kayla nodded. "...I suppose so. Alright, let's go get him."
–
As it turned out, the northern isles weren't too far from their current location – as dawn broke, Pale realized they were actually visible in the distance through the steady morning mist that had descended upon their boat.
Unfortunately, the boat they'd commandeered was little more than a small sailboat with some oars attached in case the wind was unfavorable, which it had been since they'd first stepped into the water. For the past few hours, her and Kayla had been forced to row, even through the night. Only now, as the sun began to rise, did the wind shift and start to blow from behind them, allowing them both to rest for a time.
It was still going despite that, however. Logic dictated that they ought to have taken turns sleeping or otherwise resting up during this time, but somehow, Pale couldn't bring herself to do it, and neither could Kayla.
"Nervous?" Kayla asked.
Pale shrugged. "Eager, more like. This entire quest has taken the better part of a week, by my estimation. In that time, I have killed several people, nearly been killed myself multiple times, and have apparently been inducted into someone's family, whatever that means. Frankly, I am ready for this to be over so I can resume finding a way back to my home system."
Kayla hesitated for a moment. "About that… what made you think I was able to assist in the first place? I-I mean… not that I'm ungrateful for your help or anything, quite the opposite, but… I'm so… normal. I don't know anything about space travel, and hells, I barely know anything about the world outside my small little village. And yet, you seemed to think I was capable of helping you when we first met. Why was that?"
Pale shrugged. "I ascertained that this was uncharted territory for anyone from my system pretty much the moment I arrived here. From that point on, I knew I was going to need someone who could not only lead me around, but that I could learn the language from and trust to watch my back. Serendipity did the rest."
"Ah… what does that-"
"It means you were in the right place at the right time for both of us," Pale specified. "You need help, I needed help, and now we're helping each other."
"And… you don't regret doing this?"
Pale shook her head. "I have no reason to regret anything so far. This quest has only taken about a week, which is nothing for me in the grand scheme of things. Plus, you have been very reliable so far, particularly in combat. You have kept your cool in a way that suggests some kind of training."
"Oh… um, I'm not really trained." Kayla brought a hand up to rub at the back of her head. "I-I mean… I'm my father's apprentice, of course, but I don't have any kind of combat training. All the offensive spells I know, I only know because he insisted that a young woman like me should know how to defend herself if she's going to be heading off on her own."
That got Pale's attention. She sat up a bit straighter in the boat, focusing on Kayla. "You were planning to go your own way?"
"Mhm," Kayla confirmed with a nod. "There's a very prestigious magic academy down south, I was hoping to take their entrance exam sometime soon, before… well, all this happened. I don't really know what I would do after that – being a fire mage restricts me in a lot of ways; I'd basically be forced into a combat role for something, whether that was as a professional soldier or as a bodyguard or something along those lines – but all I know is I really want to study magic more in-depth. My father is an excellent teacher, but he doesn't have the same resources the Luminarium does."
"There's something I've been wondering," Pale admitted. "No offense, but you're… meek, to say the least. You don't like to fight or hurt people, and yet you use fire magic. Why is that? Did something make you pick it in particular?"
"Pick?" Kayla asked, tilting her head. "I didn't pick my affinity. Very few people can. Really, your affinity is determined when you unlock your sjel – and before you ask, generally speaking, that happens when you come of age, which for most people is around fifteen years old, maybe a bit younger or older depending on who they are. To put it briefly, when your sjel is unlocked, an Archmage – basically a very accomplished caster who has dedicated their life to the study of magic – can serve as a witness, and somehow determine the type of magic you will have an affinity with. Generally, it's not something you choose; the vast majority of people just are naturally more tuned to one type of magic. Nobody knows why, but that's just how it's always been. Occasionally, you get someone who has multiple affinities, but that kind of thing is very rare. Come to think of it, it really only ever happens with the royal families…"
Pale scowled at the implications of that, but said nothing. Instead, she watched as Kayla shook her head.
"Anyway, that was my plan for after we rescue my father," she said. "What about you? How were you hoping to get back to your people?"
"Truthfully, I do not know," Pale replied. "The technology of this world is far too primitive to be of any help to me. I was hoping a magical solution existed somehow, but if not, then I will have to take matters into my own hands, and essentially kickstart my own industrial revolution."
Kayla gave her a panicked expression, but Pale held up a hand, calming her.
"It's different than an actual, violent revolution," she assured Kayla. "Ideally, there would be no bloodshed involved."
"Ideally…? What would you be doing?"
"Using the knowledge gifted to me by my creators to rapidly improve the technology of this world to the point where it would actually be useful to me," Pale specified. "I would go more into detail, but that would likely be premature. All you need to know at this point is that, should no other solution present itself, I will begin pushing the technology of this world forward at an incredibly rapid pace."
"How rapid?"
Pale thought for a moment. "By my estimations? Basic space flight within twenty-five years, off-world colonies and terraforming within forty, faster-than-light travel within fifty."
Kayla began to sputter. "Y-you…! Are you serious?!"
"Deathly so, yes. I know exactly what is needed in order to get there, the problem is obtaining and refining the materials for it all. But give me time, and I can have you all looking at colonizing other planets within four decades." Pale suddenly peered behind Kayla, a deep scowl crossing her face. "But this conversation will have to wait, I'm afraid."
Kayla went deathly white. Slowly, she turned to look behind herself, and began to tremble when she saw land fast approaching.
"We're here," was all Pale had to say.

Special thanks to my good friend and co-writer, Ickbard for the help with writing this story.

The first time it happened, Allison dismissed it as merely the wind playing tricks. She had been teetering on the edge of sleep, wrapped in the comforting cocoon of her blankets, when the noise at her window stirred her from her drowsiness.
Scritch. Scritch.
The sound was faint, barely audible over the hum of the night, yet distinctly unnerving. It had a way of creeping into her consciousness, making her skin prickle with an uneasy awareness. She sat up abruptly, her heart pounding like a war drum in the quiet room. Through the gloom, she could barely discern the outline of her window. The darkness seemed to press in from all sides, amplifying her anxiety. She listened intently, every muscle tensed, but the scratching ceased. She held her breath, waiting, but there was only silence. Convincing herself it was nothing more than the night’s whispers, she lay back down, though sleep remained elusive, her mind replaying the eerie sound.
The next night, it returned.
Scritch. Scritch.
This time, it was more insistent, almost hungry. Allison shivered as she crept towards the window, her bare feet whispering against the cold floorboards. Every fiber of her being was taut with unease, a thousand thoughts racing through her mind. Was it an animal? A branch? Or something worse? She cautiously drew the curtain aside just enough to peer outside. The moonlight cast long, sinister shadows across the lawn, creating an eerie landscape of darkness and light. She scanned the scene, her eyes darting to every corner. No branches were near enough to touch her window. There was nothing. She stood there, paralyzed by fear, until the sound ceased, the silence almost as disturbing as the noise itself. Exhausted and unnerved, she crawled back into bed, unable to shake the sensation of unseen eyes watching her from the shadows.
The third night was a living nightmare.
Allison awoke to the sound of footsteps on the roof, slow and deliberate. Each step sent a jolt of terror through her, her heart hammering against her ribs. She could feel the vibrations through the ceiling, each one a reminder of her helplessness. The footsteps halted above her window, and then came the scratching, more vicious and determined.
Scritch. Scritch.
Her hands shook as she grabbed her phone, her fingers fumbling in her haste. She dialed her friend Mike with frantic urgency, her voice trembling as she explained. He arrived within minutes, his face set in a grim expression, brandishing a baseball bat. Together, they scoured the house and yard, their flashlights cutting through the darkness, but found nothing.
“Maybe it’s just an animal,” Mike suggested, though his eyes held a shadow of doubt. His voice was meant to reassure, but it only made Allison more uneasy.
But Allison knew better. There were no branches near her window, and the sounds were too deliberate, too calculating. She felt a growing dread in the pit of her stomach, a gnawing certainty that something was very wrong.
The following nights were a relentless torment. The footsteps and scratching returned every night, always at the same time, always ending just before she could catch a glimpse of whatever tormented her. She was unraveling, her body and mind worn down by exhaustion and dread. Her days were a blur of anxiety, and her nights were filled with terror. She would lie awake, listening, her breath shallow and her eyes wide in the darkness.
Desperation drove her to sell her house and move into a small, unremarkable apartment in the city. It was a decision born out of sheer survival, a last-ditch effort to escape the relentless torment. For the first time in weeks, she slept soundly, the nightmare seemingly behind her. The city noises, once an annoyance, now provided a comforting background hum, drowning out any whispers of fear.
Months passed, and the terror faded into a distant memory. Allison began to feel safe again, her life regaining a fragile normalcy. She even laughed about it with friends, chalking it up to an overactive imagination and the creaks of an old house. The new apartment felt like a sanctuary, its plain walls and mundane surroundings a stark contrast to the horrors she had left behind.
One stormy night, Allison was curled up in her new apartment, the sound of rain against the windows lulling her into a sense of peace. She felt a tranquility she hadn’t known in months, a deep, soothing calm that washed over her. The rhythmic patter of the rain was like a lullaby, easing her into a state of relaxation. She closed her eyes, letting the gentle cadence of the storm soothe her.
Then she heard it.
Scritch. Scritch.

Hi all. I am currently a mother to 2 beautiful, 6 year old G pigs - I adopted both of them 5.5 years ago, as well as 2 other guinea pigs, who have both passed away from ongoing/ incurable health issues within the past year.
I love my babies incredibly so. They are my entire world.. My 2 remaining piggies are very very close (boyfriend and girlfriend) .. i always planned to foster 1-2 other piggies once i was down to the last one, and my mum wasn't super sure on how that works out, so im doing alot of research now - The thing is, i don't qualify for a foster carer because i can't guarantee the foster piggies will be indoors 24/7 ( i totally respect this rule as ive heard all sorts of horror stories, however i personally know i am EXTREMELY cautious and careful with regards to temperature etc) My piggies have all been a mix of indoor and outdoor pets while in my care over the past 5.5 years and ive never had any of them suffer heatstroke or freezing to death, cos you know, i'm not an idiot lol) I also bring them inside when it gets too cold or too hot, and while i know im doing the best i can, it means i can't qualify as a foster. I don't make the rules here. My parents do, and they won't want 2 piggies (who aren't even really mine) inside 24/7. I'm getting fosters to keep as a neighbour for my remaining piggy, so they don't get even more depressed once their mate is gone...Unfortunately, unless my living situation changes between now and then, that's the situation i gotta deal with.
I also don't qualify so far because i don't have a full license or a car. I'm thinking of maybe.. getting a free piggy off of somewhere like gumtree? It won't cover vet bills though, as there's no insurance. I won't have to actually deal with this for at least several more months and i apologise if i sound rude at all, i just was worried about posting this at all as some people can be judgemental. I KNOW piggies are best left indoors. I take all precautions necessary while they are outdoors and they have access to indoors when need be. Like i said, i've had them for 5 and a bit years now and they've had a very good life. What would you do in my position?

Can someone help me interpret my dream? I just woke up from a nap and dreamed about trying to get a job from a old farmer. I go to his barn and he's there but I can't make out his face in the dream. For some reason, this man falls in love with me and wants to meet me privately. I fall for his weird charm and agree. Until, he hands me a paper with blatant job terms that just shows he wants to exploit me. Suddenly, someone, maybe a family member or some close friends, drag me from behind and try to get me out the barn. I guess I panicked and was in denial, so I mouth to him "call me". He was a little surprised by my reaction but nodded. On my way home in the backseat, I read the paper which has an app. I download the app where I put in a code given to me on the paper. Then, I switched to Youtube and behold the farmer posted a video. (I don't know how I know his channel, it just popped up on my page). Anyways, I start watching it and it started hinting towards my location, showing that the app I downloaded was actually a tracker. A bit disappointed and panicked, I try to delete my information on the app. Then I woke up 🤷‍♀️

Hello Hello my buds, bobs and babes. We are back at it again with the end of Human Trauma book two. In this one Martinez gets grilled by Ivorn of all people. and when the calm caring man decides you messed up enough that he is yelling at you. lord you must have messed up.
Let's get this bread.
------
Snow drifted lazily around Martinez, the first snowfall this year in Draun. Celna had been under snowpack for weeks, but in this massive city, this was untimely late. Each fresh flake glowed like embers in the evening light, burning just like the Human's ragged breath.
“Get the fuck out of my way,” Martinez barked at a group of aliens, ordering them to make a hole or get barreled through.
This group took the warning of the two-meter-tall man to hearty and skittered away like rats, allowing him to pass.
Those were the smart ones; not all had that many survival instincts. Martinez had crashed through a group of Ruqaura, their flabby builds jiggling as they fell to the duracreet and cursed his existence.
Fuck them; they did not matter, nor did the abject panic Martinez was stirring up in his wake. The Human certainly was causing a scene in the otherwise serene city. Whether the aliens thought he was being chased, was a crazy nutter on the loose, or that he was a deranged rapist, he did not care.
They could think he was a serial killer or a terrorist for all he cared. All Martinez cared about was reaching Shiksie and ensuring she had not done the unthinkable.
By the time Martinez had reached Shiksies posh neighborhood, sweat was flooding off his brow; on her front lawn, he nearly collapsed from vomiting, having just run the fastest he had done in years. Fuck even Raliegh could not hold a candle to the show of speed and athletics Martinez had demonstrated, and that man ran ultra marathons.
Through blurry vision, Martinez looked up at Shiksie’s house. It was as spartan as the last time he was here. The house showed off the owner's simple, straightforward personality, a bold defiance of the bright pastels and gaudily decorated homes of her neighbors.
At least the house had not changed.
Pounding on the door with hammer-like fists, Martinez roared into the gloom. “Shiksie, are you there?”
The milliseconds dragged out into hours; each breath dagged into eternity. With each passing eon, Martinez repeated the process with more desperation, beating the door as if it owed him money.
Each repetition drew on more of the same. A silence so deafening it crushed Martinez’s soul like an ant.
“Please, if you are in there, answer the door,” Martinez barked, punching the door hard enough that his knuckles bled. “I need to know you are alive.”
With no answer coming from inside, Martinez changed tactics. Between savage attacks on the door, he sent texts to everyone both he and Shiksie knew, trying to get any sitrep on her.
No one had any answers for him. They did not know if Shiksie was alright, nor had they seen her in well over a week. That only compounded his worry. Did they not care about her?
` Therein—Nothing, he did not even want to talk to anyone.
Sursee—Nothing other than word that she did not know.
Harsnis, of all people, also had no answers, and that man kept tight tabs on his workers.
What in God's name was going on?
The only one who gave Martinez more than sorrowful nothingness was Ivorn.
Ivorn: Come over to my place; we need to talk.
Considering that beating Shiksies' door was getting him nowhere, and Martinez was not about to break in, he hurried out of Shiksies' neighborhood, destined for Ivorn and Sursees' place in old town.
Martinez glanced over his shoulder, hoping to see Shiksie at her door, but no. All he saw were the neighbors peering from behind curtains at him. He ignored them.
—-
“Henry, it’s great to see you,” Sursee purred after opening the door to her and Ivorns' place.
Sursee was a Prinoral, a small feline-like species that was sociable beyond belief. Like many of her species, Sursee stood only as tall as Martinez’s chest and had traits that made her as cute as a button.
Sursee wore a long, draping dress held loosely around her dainty form. Its bright white color made her golden fur and amber hair stand out boldly. Her radar dish-like cat ears and long flicking tail made her the picturesque housecat-like woman.
“Please, come on in,” Sursee said, stepping abreast of the door and bidding his entry.
“Thanks, Sursee,” Martinez replied, entering and taking stock of their home, having never been here before.
Their apartment was quaint and comforting. Most surfaces and furnishings were colors like autumn, oranges, yellows, and browns, giving the space an overwhelmingly comfortable vibe. That matched with what smelled like freshly baked pumpkin pie, making the entire local breathtaking.
A menagerie of plushies was staged on shelves across the astel, adding splashes of vibrant summer to the otherwise warm home.
Martinez had no doubt the plushies were Sursee’s. She was a little ball of sunshine, and they fit her personality and aesthetic to a T.
“So, Henry, can I get a hug?” Sursee asked, her tail swaying happily behind her while she smiled as bright as sunlight.
“Not now. Where is Ivorn,” Martinez replied instantly.
Sursee pouted, her ears folding flat and tail tucking away. Any semblance of joy that overflowed from her died instantly.
Martinez appreciated that Sursee was listening to Ivorn's advice and not latching onto him like a heat leech, asking first. But he had not registered the sorrow in her—-this was the only time she had been told no to a hung from him. She expected it at this point, even if she was being polite.
“Ive is in his office,” Sursee said, pointing down the hallway.
Before Sursee registered that Martinez had moved, she turned around and picked up a plate of steaming cookies off the coffee table, hoping to help Maetinez feel better. While she did not know the man intimately, she was flawless at gauging emotions, and Martinez oozed sorrow.
“Would you want some—” Sursee trailed off, realizing the Human had already left her alone in the living room.
If pouting harder could be done, she did so. His leaving her like that felt like ice to the soul. She baked the cookies for him once Ivorn had told her Martinez was coming over. But the Human did not care about that or Sursee’s feelings.
Opening the indicated door, Martinez found Ivorn lounging behind a desk, reading a book with a massive smile across his face.
“What do we need to talk about?” Martinez asked.
Ivorn jumped at the intrusion and squirreled the book away. Not having expected Martinez for several hours. “Do you not know how to knock?”
“Where is she?” Martinez asked, ignoring everything but Shiksie.
Ivorn sighed, leaning back in his chair. “Not even a hello, huh? I get it.” Ivorn said. “Sit,” he finished by gesturing at a seat across from him.
Martinez was about to argue and tell Ivorn to get to the point, but the alien man could read him like a book and beat him to the punch.
“I get you are likely upset, but can I please explain,” Ivorn insisted.
“Fine,” Martinez grumbled and sat down, knowing this was the only way he would get any answers.
Over the next few minutes, Ivorn calmly explained what had happened with Shiksie after he head left. According to Ivorn, once Martinez had left Shiksie in her house, she drank; drank to the point it was nearly lethal.
By the time Ivorn had arrived, she was three beers deep and was about to have liver failure. If not for Martinez telling Ivorn she would have died. Following that, Shiksie spent several days in the ICU, needing it to not die.
After Shiksie was out of the ICU, she vanished, never showing up to work again. The director also told Ivorn not to mention anything that happened between Martinez and Shiksie to anyone, along with instructions to funnel the human to the Director once he returned.
“So you don’t know where she is?” Martinez said.
“No, I don’t,” Ivorn admitted.
“Then why the fuck am I here? I need to find her,” Martinez replied, standing up and heading toward the door.
“No, you are not,” Ivorn barked, stopping Martinez. “The director made it clear. The only reason you were not fired, and she was not in jail, was because Shiksie left.”
Martinez turned around and glared at Ivorn, knowing damn well what the director had pulled his friend into—a cover-up. Things like that were all to common in the Military and large corporations. It was easier to hush things up than face the reality of what happened. ;
“So for your own sake. Forget about her,” Ivorn sighed.
“Forget her! What the fuck are you on about. She is my friend; I have to help her,” Martinez argued, stepping forward and leaning on the desk with both hands. “She needs help.”
“Oh, does she? I dont think she does. You just want to feel better after having made her nearly kill herself.” Ivorne challenged with a growl—the last two weeks of having to hold his emotions overflowing.
Ivorn might like Martinez as a friend, but Shiksie deserved more than this. She was kind, a bit aloof, but for Kilera’s sake, why did she have to fall in love with a detestable asshole who thought he could solve everything alone.
Martinez paused and was taken aback by the challenge. Of course, he wanted to help her. Shiksie was his friend, mentor, and a woman he lov—er liked dearly. This was not about him but her.
“Are you high? I want to make sure she is OK,” Martinez replied, pointing at Ivorn.
“Oh, shut the fuck up and stop grandstanding,” Ivorn replied, standing to his full height. Usually, Ivorn, due to his gorilla-like build and posture, only stood as tall as Martinez. But at his full grandeur—he nearly touched the ceiling. “If you gave a fuck about her, you would have asked for help with her. You would not have gone into her house, knowing damn well she loved you.”
Ivorn stepped around the desk and jammed a finger into Martinez’s chest. “Now you have the fucking gall to think she needs you? How about you face reality and understand you fucked up and can't fix it.”
“Woah Ivor—” Martinez started backing up, but his friend persisted.
“How about you get that you are not some infallible bastion? What you have done has caused so many issues. My friend and mentor is gone; now we all have to suffer because you just had to not say no!” Ivorn growled, nearly pressing Martinez to the wall.
“We all like you. Sursee, Shiksie, Therein, Harnsis, fuck even me. But dude, you fucked up and have just to let bad enough die,” Ivorn said, backing up and giving Martinez some room. “Just go talk to the director in the morning. He will tell you the same.”
Martinez was going to argue to assure Ivorn he could fix this. But Sursee stepping into the room deflated any tension between the two.
“Can you two not yell at each other?” Sursee asked.
Ivorn turned to Sursee, returning to his usual leisurely posture. “Don’t worry about it, Sursee. Henry was just leaving. Right?” Ivorn said, looking at Martinez, his last shred of patience visible.
“Yeah. I am,” Martinez said, slipping past Sursee, who, for her lovable part, tried to reach out and grab him, but Ivorn stopped her and shook his head.
Martinez stormed out of the house and went toward his own, refusing to believe that he could do nothing to fix this. There was always something he could do. He just did not know the answer yet.
Without a doubt, even if he had to sell his soul to the devil, Martinez knew he would find Shiksie and make this all ok.
It just would cost him, blood, sweat, tears, and all he had to give.
​
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So what did you all think of book two? Shiksie is MIA, Lysa is going through mood swings, and Martinez needs to get he cant fix it all on his own. We covered a lot in this book and we will cover even more in the third book where Chloe, Martinez, Lysa, and the rest of our cast will have to deal with a kidnapping ring, doctors, and their own physiology.
Please do not forget to updoot, and comment. I will see you all there.
your baker
-Pirate
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Gonna try to keep this organized and easy to follow but I apologize if it ends up being a mess, my brain feels like a mess itself right now.
This was my first relationship and my first for many other things as well. I met my ex at work and we currently are still working together. We became friends at work and overtime our friendship blossomed into something more. It wasn't easy to convince her to give me a shot being so much younger than her, but I really thought I felt a connection with her. I felt safe around her, she made me laugh, and I found her attractive and in time she agreed to go on a date with me.
Initially things went extremely well until my depression reared its ugly head after just one week. We were making out and chatting in my car after our second date and she started to pick up on something wrong with me and kept asking if I was alright and touching me in a comforting manner. Said she was seeing an immense sorrow in my eyes until I broke down and explained to her I've been getting treated for my depression for 10 years now, 10 years of the same pill. I was terrified initially but she seemed unbothered, in fact she was happy I felt comfortable enough to share that with her.
She recommended we get a bottle of wine and head inside her place to chill out. The morning after though she hit me with something big. Why don't I leave my pills she asked me. Told me that after so many years of taking them they could be damaging my liver and even be having the opposite effect, but I explained that the withdrawal from them is super rough and she recommended I stay at her place for the week it would take to get though, told me she'd be my pill from now on. I relied heavily on her for those days and suffered like hell but I trusted her and believed it would make me a better person in the end.
In the end I felt different, better, happier, and I loved her even more for doing this all for me. So I took a risk and asked her if I could move in permanently to which I experienced some pushback but eventually she agreed. This was all like a dream, I was so happy until we had our first real fight after a month. I had a special needs friend at work that she didn't know about and for some reason she got jealous over him. Especially the fact that I had "hid the fact that I had went out to eat with him and his parents" but this was way before I even had met her and I'm also straight+ I'm not a monster. Not going to take advantage of a special needs person, that alone was extremely offensive but on top of that she kicked me out with all of my stuff only to send me a text later telling me to comeback after 3 hours. I was so mad and hurt, I trusted her with effectively my life and she dumped me aside so easily, I could have easily had an ugly spiral into something awful without my meds but she didn't care, didn't stop to think how that would affect me.
So I was already blackout drunk at my mom's house crying so I didn't come back initially. I saw her at work the next day and she was laughing and chatting with coworkers like nothing had happened. I felt even more hurt, I didn't understand how she could be acting like nothing. I didn't speak to her for two days until she texted me again telling me she's sorry and that she misses me. I came back after, and we chatted some more in person. She accepted blame but said it was also partly my fault for hiding this. I explained that I wasn't hiding anything but, in the end, I just accepted it. I was naturally a little distant after this happened and she wasn't happy about that, said I was treating her differently and I accepted that I was and defended my position to which she responded that she will change as well then.
Something that didn't help with the process of trying to forgive her and put this behind us and in time I saw her change but in a much more negative way. She started to get jealous over everything and saying toxic stuff like when a young pretty girl would walk past us "why don't you leave me and go with her" and I tried to push through it all but after just 3 weeks I ended up back out in the street with all my stuff after I tried explaining to her that she was just being mean in response to me trying to protect myself and that I can't even start the process of forgiving her like this. She told me she doesn't want to share the same bed with someone who can't forgive her and has doubts about her.
This time we didn't speak for two weeks; it was absolutely heart wrenching for me. I was stuck seeing her day in and day out at work being all happy and whatnot when I was super miserable and just wanted to never see her again. I loved her with my entire heart still, but I couldn't go on like this. She texted me out of the blue again and we chatted a lot until she convinced me to go to her in person. She asked for a hug when I arrived, and I broke down in her arms. I felt so weak and pathetic, but I couldn't hold it all in anymore. Once again, she blamed me but this time that it was my choice to leave but I wasn't left with one. If someone tells me " I will help you pack your stuff and that I can't share a bed with you" what else am I left with?
I was so broken down by this point that I just accepted and worked on forgiving her for the first time. I moved back in after 3 days from this meeting and in time (2 months went by) I thought we had reached a point where we could be happy and in peace together. But her other faults started to become apparent to me and were starting to weigh on me. I knew I had already lost my self-respect, but to feel unappreciated, not understood, and even unloved was too much. My depression would rear it's head here and there + the stress of trying to make plans with someone who doesn't hold the same priorities as me would get to me.
I'd shut down for a little to sort out my brain because I loved her and only ever wanted to do right by her but she'd take my silence as mistreatment to her. I could be driving her around, opening doors for her, carrying stuff for her, holding her hands and she would only think about how my sorrow or stress was affecting her even though the stress may have been from trying to make a better life for us. I hated where she currently lives, it has cockroaches, the shower burns me to the point my skin was flaking, there's not a kitchen because it's a hotel in reality only with monthly rates with no lease. But she never cared or shared my urgency to find somewhere else to live. We had the means but she was more interested in planning the next outting or vacation plans to complete later in the year (she wants 3!? vacations).
I would voice how I felt but she would seem to be unfazed and so one day I told her I'm gonna move back in with my mom and it only escalated from there. We ended up separated after I said this is the end and the very same day we split she tells me she's going to leave the country (back to PR) and her job. I panicked and begged for a chance to talk one last time. Something she initially didn't want to do but she changed her mind after a few days and now I'm planning to see her tomorrow and I don't even know what I'm doing at this point. I just feel so lost and hurt. I don't recognize myself anymore. It was only 5 months all in all and it wasn't all bad, but I don't think this sustainable.
I don't know what I expect to achieve by talking with her tomorrow, I gave her so many of my firsts and made so many pretty memories.. is there really no hope here? can I do anything different or say something to change her?

Well, like the title says, I've had three friend groups fall apart of the course of the last five years - each of which I had at least one close childhood friend in, all of which have ended or changed in some fundamental way.
The first one was me, my buddy Marcus, and a handful of other people. Marcus wasn't the best dude, but he was a good friend to me for a while. Eventually, though, the group started to implode over a few key issues. Marcus had a girlfriend and was cheating on her, serially. On two separate occasions, he did stuff with girls in the back of my car. Eventually, his girlfriend called me one time (we were all part of the same friend group, which made it even shittier for her) and was upset that Marcus could have "crushes" on "other girls at work" and that the second she had a similar situation he was all jealous and pissy. At this point, he was also talking a ton of crap about me behind my back which may have motivated my decision and I still don't know if I did the right thing but I responded that "he has no right to feel that way" or "no room to talk" and I pretty much immediately realized I had said too much but she kept asking what I meant and I reluctantly decided to spill the beans. I felt so bad about the whole situation. Me and Marcus had been pals since third grade. There were other things that happened, that reflect poorly on both mine and Marcus's character, but I won't disclose much more than that. The friend group dissolved. I keep in touch with a few people from this group and I hope almost all of them are doing well. Including Marcus. There are days that I miss these people but I can't dwell on it and I think the dissolution of this friend group was good for everybody involved, if I'm being honest. But it still sucks.
The second friend group was the most important to me, it was a friend group that myself and my best friend Zack put together. This failure is entirely my fault and the people in this group were the most important to me. Zack had been my best friend from about the third grade up until I was 18 or 19 years old. We'd hangout, play video games, watch anime, and talk about all sorts of things. We shared a dream of becoming successful in the YouTube space and in gaming content and all that sort of stuff. From 2018ish until Feb 2022 we played video games together most days and still occasionally hung out IRL. Then, in Feb 2022 we completely cleaned out his discord server (it had become nazified and we needed to get the trash out) and started a new. We made a post on new friends here and it blew up. Over the course of the next few months, it grew to over 200 people, including some people I would include as some of the best friends I ever had. Eventually, Zack and one of the other people in the server, who was also my friend, started dating. I decided to sort of pull back from that friendship (with her) because I have pretty severe attachment issues related to my borderline personality disorder and can develop unhealthy attractions and attachments to members of the fairer sex without warning and I didn't want to have any issues in my friendship with Zack. This led to lots of hurt feelings on all sides, which I feel like shit for, and was the beginning of the end of that friend group. When I started my own server, I invited a ton of the friends I made in Zack's server which pretty much sealed the deal, I wasn't trying to poach people but that's how Zack and his girlfriend took things. I try to talk to Zack nowadays but he doesn't respond. We had played every Dragon Ball Xenoverse DLC together and now he's just not responding. I have no hard feelings, no ill-intentioned ones are least, but I miss my friend man. The group eventually fizzled out completely but I still keep in touch with a decent handful of people from the boon of the 200 and am probably close with about six or seven of them. But man, I miss my video game enjoying, pizza loving, pal but I understand that this is my fault and that I've been a bad friend. I hope he's doing well. Ya know?
And finally the third friend group. This one actually requires a bit of a trigger warning for SA so if that ain't something you can stomach, skip to the next paragraph. My perspective of this group centers around myself, my friend Josh (who I've known since I believe 6th or 7th grade) and my buddy Camron (who I knew from 9th or 10th grade if I recall correctly). This friend group is another IRL one and was one that was centered around stuff like Magic the Gathering, Dungeons & Dragons, finding cool local restaurants, and and occasionally playing video games. I lived with Josh for a while and that caused some tension between myself and him, but we're still cordial and talk everytime we bump into one another. But! He only ever calls me anymore to ask me for rides to and from work but never pays me, even when he says he will. The few times we've gotten to hangout, he keeps trying to talk me into sinking hundreds of dollars into LARP, which I'd be happy to do if it was something I could do but I have degenerate discs in my back and I just can't do that. It feels like he doesn't really care about me or want to be my friend. He keeps breaking promises and letting me down. Camron, on the other hand, still talks to me occasionally but his sister SA'd me two years ago and he cracks jokes about it which really bugs me and seems insensitive. After the last D&D was over, a couple in the group broke up and the whole group fell apart. It's just a whole thing with this one and it brings me down pretty badly.
I want to find my tribe. I want to find my people. I want to find the Rhett to my Link. I want to find the Lennon to my McCartney. I want to find the Stan, Kyle, and Kenny to my Cartman. I want to find the Key to my Peele. The Zoro and Luffy to my Sanji! I want to find my people, man. Whys it gotta be so tough 😭 I'm lucky that I have an absolutely wonderful girlfriend but other than her I feel totally freaking alone, man 😭

I don't see how it's gatekeeping. Both are fun, both are dance music.
My campervan and a Ferrari both have 4 wheels an engine, and are pretty cool vehicles. That doesn't make them the same thing, and I wouldn't call my campervan a Ferrari. That's not gatekeeping van life or gatekeeping sports cars. It's just using different words to describe different things.
It's different if someone said "hey you aren't cool unless you go to raves, festivals are stupid". But I really almost never see anyone say that. They're just different environments. Sorts car enthusiasts enjoy talking about sports cars, and van nomads enjoy talking about camper vans. Some people enjoy talking about anything that drives, but mostly it's one or the other. Not dissing the other.
I personally prefer raves, festivals are very fun as well in a different way. I'm older by this subs standards but never went to "old school" raves. I don't thinks going to old school raves back in the 90s is a prerequisite to notice the difference between different types of gatherings with dance music.
Of course as with anything, lines are blurred. The party with 50 of us friends threw in the desert. Parties at promoted free events like in burner communities. One night parties at paid gatherings. A party in a "rave" venue (such as Walter). Something like Full Moon Festival in Phoenix that's $30, one night, local artists but still has several stages, vendors, fire dancers, etc. A massive one night EDM show. A multi day pop EDM festival.
One end and the other are very different and it's just useful to use words that fit the event best. I would call a Walter event a rave, because it's not a festival and calling it a club would not get the point across. It's just using different words that best fit the vibes, and of course who you are talking to. Full Moon Festival? Idk, it's paid (although very cheap) and they call it a festival. I think it is a festival but it's fairly ravey. So maybe depends on who I was talking to.
I'm just rambling now. A lot of people like all sorts of events. I went to a small rave club and met someone who asked if I'm a raver, and will also be at Beyond Wonderland. I think of a rave as a party with dancing to electronic music. A music festival isn't a party, too many people. But still, if a dozen of us friends wander onto a side stage and party all night I might say we were raving. It's just a word trying to get a point across to distinguish from a band concert, festival, club, etc.

When I was a teenager, my dad's house sat right across from this old graveyard, that place had was full of weird experiences. One night, I woke up to the sound of kitchen cabinets slamming open and shut. Figured it was just my dad rummaging around for a midnight snack, so I open my bedroom door (which opened to the view of the kitchen) to tell him to keep it down. But when I opened the door, I saw every cabinet door was wide open, and no one was in there. I even yelled for my dad, but all I heard in response was his loud snoring coming from the basement. I closed the cabinets and doors and went back to bed. The next day I asked him if he had been making noise in the kitchen the night before, and he said he was sleeping and hadn't been in the kitchen. My next experience was one night, my dog suddenly started barking like crazy. Now, this wasn't his usual behaviour unless he was dreaming. I turned over to look at him to try to calm him down, but he was fixated on the closet door, pointing his paw at it like he'd seen a ghost—no pun intended. As I looked over at him, he stopped barking and started whimpering and hide behind me, shaking like crazy. Then, the closet door creaked open, and I heard someone—or something—dragging their feet across the carpet, right up to my bed. Frozen with fear, I watched as the sound stopped, and then, I jumped up to turn on the lights and nothing... No one was there. I spent the rest of that night camped out on the living room couch, cuddling my dog.

Hello and welcome to a very special installment of The Great Spice Off! What is The Great Spice Off?
I love the scent of Old Spice, so much so that it's the only aftershave I use as I don't really feel a need to splash anything else on. But, as we all know, Old Spice no longer makes shaving soap. They do still make a cream but that's hardly a great soap and it doesn't actually smell like Old Spice. As such my plan is to test out all the Old Spice options that are out there on as many bases as possible both to try out a variety of bases from different soapmakers and to report back to you on who really nails the scent.
I'll be shaving three times with each soap, using a variety of brushes and razors, and blades. Yes, I know that means it won't be exactly scientific but this is going to take a while and I want to use all my other shit too. Soaps will be rated on a few factors and given points from 1-5 for each.

• Oldness: How much does the soap smell like OG Old Spice. This is the more analytical scent analysis and I'm comparing to an OG Old Spice aftershave I have and the Shulton aftershave from India.
• Spiciness: This is the je ne sais quois of Old Spice. Does the soap make me feel the nostalgia, warmth, and whatever it is about the scent that works. Is there something special about it that makes it stand out? Does it invoke a memory or make a new one? The most subjective of this list.
• Lather: You know, can I make a shave soap out of it.
• Shave: How's it work on the ol' face while shaving.
• Post: How's the scent profile after the event. How does my face feel.

Bundubeard De Goede Hoop

Bundubeard owner Jacob Grobler is simultaneously the best and the worst. I have, for a few months now, been closing in on the end of this endless series of reviews of Old Spice dupes. I had, in fact, at one point proclaimed the series nearly over a few reviews ago but ol' Jacob had to come rolling along and offer not one... not two... but THREE Old Spice dupe/riffs at once in a scenting series called The Spicy Trio. Think something along the lines of Barrister and Mann's The Four Horsemen (War is good. Fuck everyone.) but the base accord is Old Spice. Clearly, a man after my own heart even if he is extending this whole thing three entire reviews longer in one fell swoop. Not only has he created three Old Spice-based scents but this is evidently part of an ongoing study into messing around with Old Spice scenting that will carry on with adjustments and new takes in the future.
I, honestly, just pray he gives me a few months of respite before dumping his next three out.
What does this all mean for the two other future reviews in the exact same base? I know you, the avid reader of The Great Spice Off, are incredibly concerned about the integrity and validity of these entirely made-up and subjective reviews so I want to assuage your fears of me possibly destroying the entire legacy of TGSO (an acronym I can't believe I have not used before this moment). I've reviewed some soaps with the same base before but, in those cases, it was either affected by the addition of different amounts of scent, a different brand using another brand's base, or menthol. Also, they were not reviewed back to back. Given my plan to review all three of these consecutively (with a short Lather Games break) and that there are no extenuating circumstances that could excuse a double base review these three reviews will be almost connected as one. In the forthcoming next two reviews of Reijger and Drommedaris the base scores will be replicated over even if the three shaves land me with different experiences just to keep things fair and square. This is, of course, barring some drastic impact that the changed scent has on my shave. So calm your panic attack down, the integrity of TGSO is still intact. And fear not, the other reviews will also not have an extensive intro like this one.
Surprisingly to me -- since I hadn't heard of Bundubeard up until this past year -- the company has been around since at the very least 2017 when Jacob left his construction business and decided to launch a wet shaving one based out of South Africa, where he lives. You may have gotten a hint of this from the fact that this soap's name, De Goede Hoop (The Good Hope), is in Afrikaans/Dutch and not English. I'm not 100% sure what Bunderbeard or Boendoebaard means as Google doesn't translate it well for me so maybe it's not even an actual word but it has the word beard in it so I assume it refers to something having to do with facial hair. Despite shipping internationally, Bundubeard is surprisingly focussed on the South African wet shaving market, which, when coupled with Master Soap Creations, makes South Africa a bit of a hot spot for the wet shaving scene and a blazing hot volcanic eruption of soapers duping Old Spice.
The trio of soaps featured in The Spicy Trio are all named after the three Dutch ships that landed on the tip of South Africa and began colonizing it (De Goede Hoop, Raijger, and Drommedaris). Obviously, very important ships in South African history -- something akin to the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria in U.S. history. The history of South Africa and colonization is... complicated... but according to Bunderbeard these three ships started "the history of the Afrikaner" in 1652. The nautical theme, obviously, ties in with Old Spice pretty well and there's some other stuff in there about the trio changing over time as he works on the scents much like the country has changed over time thanks to the confluence of cultures and races that makes South Africa a relatively unique country in terms of culture.
De Goede Hoop is Bundubeard's base Old Spice scent that the other two are built off of. The English on the page is a bit broken but it is supposed to be a direct dupe (though, he shies away from calling these scents "homages" for nebulous legal reasons). There's no scent description outside of calling it the "standard 'Old Spice' fragrance from years gone by." All signs point to direct dupe, captain!
Excitingly, De Goede Hoop (and thus the other soaps as well) come in Bundubeard's mutton base, a first for The Great Spice Off! Mutton, for those that don't know about Sheep Facts^TM, is the meat from a sheep that is older than two years and thus more... ummm... full of mutton. Full ingredients are: mutton tallow, H20 (known as water here in the U.S.), Sodium Hydroxide, Potassium Hydroxide, Stearic Acid, Castor oil, Kalahari Melon oil, Virgin cold pressed Coconut oil, right off the tree, fragrance oils and essential oils. Not only is it mutton but he's picking his own coconuts for the coconut oil! Damn, that's some fresh coconut oil and, excitedly, not the first ingredient. The Kalahari Melon oil is a unique South African ingredient, making for something a little extra in there I don't think you can get anywhere else. Consitency-wise, the soap isn't too hard or soft, landing right in that this-is-the-consitancy-of-shaving-soap sweet spot.
As for packaging, the three soaps come in aluminum tins with original artwork of each boat on them. It's kind of fun to see them all depicted, though one of the tins did get pretty busted up in transit across the Atlantic. Interestingly, Bundubeard packages his soaps in a variety of container types, though it's not clear why one soap gets different treatment from another.
Oldness: 3
I'm a little disappointed with the scent's accuracy as it's going to be the base for the other two soaps, but there's something missing here. The issue comes from a complete lack of citrus top notes, a key component to the classic Old Spice scent. This one seems to be just the middle and base notes, giving plenty of spice and florals but none of that brightness the citrus can bring. Describing the Old Spice OG scent as bright may seem a bit at odds when I've outright said the flatter scented dupes are more accurate but even a flatter scent can have layers and this is missing one of them. It's an Old Spice scent for sure, but not the Old Spice scent.
Spiciness: 2
Honestly, this might be a bit higher if this was marketed as a riff on Old Spice that tailored back the citrus scents but feelings of betrayal from an overseas lover hurt the heart deeply and I must deduct another point. Each time I opened the tub hoping for more it was not there, though I will say that the scent stays consistent throughout the shave and lingers nicely throughout the day. Later in the day, when I wasn't bitter and jaded from the soul-crushing letdown, I enjoyed it far more. You know... I may let Old Spice dupe shaving impact my emotions a bit too much.
Lather: 5
Nothing disappointing about this lather, which is nearly impossible to screw up unless you scoop way too much soap for a synthetic brush like I did on my second one. It starts out a thick, glorious protoo-lather and then just grows from there into one of the sheeniest, biggest lathers I've made. Old sheep's fat is clearly magical at building good lather and there ain't mutton you can say to change my mind (sheep pun!). Never too thirsty and never requiring a lot of work to dial in, this is just some easy-to-use soap.
Shave: 5
An absolutely fantastic shave that might be the best cushioned shave I've ever shaved with. You can barely feel the blade slide over your face no matter how aggressive the razor is and the slickness is just one level of good below that. It's simply a pleasure to use, going on the face soft and leaving plenty of slickness behind with a scent that hangs around nicely throughout the shave with very little change after the lather.
Post: 3
As noted, De Goede Hoop has a lovely, prolonged scent that sticks around throughout the day nicely. Its post-shave feel is pretty good too, leaving my face feeling soft and nourished. However, the soap scent and the initial combo of Indian Old Spice aftershave did not work at all, crashing into each other like a ship crashing into The Cape of Good Hope where we all know nearly 3,000 ships have sunk (see, I did some South African research before I wrote this). It fared better with the vintage bottle but still not my favorite combo.
Final Verdict: 18
Thankfully I already know the word in Afrikaan for good or else I'd have to go look it up. De Goede Hoop is Goede. It's definitely one of my favorite bases and if I wasn't a curmudgeon about the scent not being spot on I'd probably have come across a lot more friendly to it as I didn't actually dislike the smell and it is Old Spicey in its own way. It isn't, however, all that accurate of an Old Spice dupe falling more into the Old Spice adjacent category. For that, I can never forgive. NEVER!
Previous Great Spice Offs:

1. 1940s Old Spice Shaving Soap in Vintage Mug (9)
2. 1973-91 Old Spice Shaving Soap (7)
3. Old Spice Shaving Cream (Original) (12)
4. Master Soap Creations Vintage Spice (19)
5. Black Ship Grooming Classic (17)
6. OSP Old Gold (19)
7. Chiseled Face Groomatorium Trade Winds (17)
8. Wholly Kaw Twice as Spice (17)
9. Barrister and Mann Barrister's Reserve Spice (21)
10. Mama Bear Aged Spice (10)
11. MERShaving Old Timer Spice (20)
12. Soap Commander Endurance (20)
13. Signature Soaps Novus Spice (17)
14. Hoffman's Shave and Soap Company Burn the Ships (19)
15. Phoenix Artisan Accoutrements Cold Spice (15)
16. Hendrix Classics & Co Commodore (20)
17. Ginger's Garden Old Spice Type (15)
18. Lisa's Natural Herbal Creations Mariner (10)
19. Stone Field Shaving Company Ltd. No. 37 (18)
20. Cooper & French Old Goat (19)
21. The Holy Black Artisan Line Shaving Soap (21)
22. Stirling Soap Co. Stirling Spice (20)
23. Van Yulay Spicy Man (10)
24. Pinnacle Grooming The Good Ship OS (15)
25. Mystic Water Soap Windjammer (14)
26. The Village Soap Smith Old Spice (Type) (14)
27. Cloud Shave "Unscented" (13)
28. Wet the Face Spices From the Sea (17)
29. Artifact Soapworks Old Spice (Type) (15)
30. DentonMajik Ole Fife (21)
31. Phoenix Artisan Accouterments Oud Spice (17)
32. Lativ Natural Skin Revival Shaving Soap Old Spice (8)

Special Editions

• Summer Break Soaps Remote Learning
• Spearhead Shaving Company Seaforth! Spiced
• Eleven Shaving Unscented/Hendrix Classics & Co Commander
• Crowne & Crane The Spice

I'm also looking for the below soaps if you've got any you're willing to sell/trade/donate:

• Wild West Shaving Co. Snake Oil
• Wickam Spice Trade
• Occult Grooming Essentials Modern Spice
• Fougare Salem

I already have these soaps that I have not reviewed yet:

• Bundubeard Reijger
• Bundubeard Drommedaris
• Areffa Soap The Sea Son

Back story: my older sibling always hated me since birth I was too different from everyone and had a hard time growing up. She constantly called me the R word growing up and was my biggest bully. Fast forwarding when she gave birth and realized she needed my help she was more tolerant of my presence but still hated me I was only a 12 yr old kid at that time. She was always still hateful of me as years went on . Fast forward I have my beautiful baby who also has autism. I pour my heart and soul into my baby and meeting her needs. I love my baby and she loves me. My sister asked me for a ride and so my family and I went to give her a ride .. on the car ride she made so many ignorant comments including saying that I’m an adult now so I can’t be autistic.. and kept saying my kid can still be “normal” if I would hit her to teach her lessons. I DO NOT AND WILL NEVER TOLERATE PHYSICAL VIOLENCE ON ANYONE ESPECIALLY NOT MY CHILD. Today I told my sister I will not longer attend her wedding later this year. Now everyone is mad at me and on her side.

https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/pikmri/calvin324hks_igs_rep_page/
https://www.reddit.com/sgsflaicomments/of2wzu/flair_profile_ucalvin324hk/
Wishlist
Region: NA (Canada)
Fees on buyer if any, currency is USD unless specified
CTRL + F to find your games in terms of name

• 10 Second Ninja X
• 11-11 Memories Retold
• 112 Operator
• 12 is Better Than 6
• 198X
• 1993 Space Machine
• 60 Parsecs
• 7 Billion Humans
• 8 DOORS
• 8-bit Adventure Anthology: Volume I
• 9 Years of Shadows
• 911 Operator
• A Game of Thrones: The Board Game
• A Hat in Time
• A Hole New World
• A JUGGLER'S TALE
• A Long Way Down
• A PLAGUE TALE: INNOCENCE
• A Robot Named Fight!
• A Tale for Anna
• A.I.M.2 Clan Wars
• Abalon (Summoners Fate)
• Above Snakes
• ABZU
• Ace Combat Assault Horizon Enhanced Edition
• ADOM
• Adore
• Aegis Defenders
• Aeterna Noctis
• AETHERIS
• Agatha Christie Hercule Poirot The First Cases
• AIdol
• Airborne Kingdom
• Alba: A Wildlife Adventure
• Alder's Blood: Definitive Edition
• Alfred Hitchcock - Vertigo
• Alien Breed Trilogy
• Aliens vs. Predator™ Collection
• All-Star Fruit Racing
• Almost There: The Platformer
• American Fugitive
• American Truck Simulator
• Amerzone: The Explorer’s Legacy
• AMID EVIL
• Amnesia rebirth
• Amnesia: The Dark Descent + Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs
• Anomalous
• Another World – 20th Anniversary Edition
• Antigraviator
• Anuchard
• APICO
• APICO
• Aragami
• Aragami 2
• Arboria
• Arcade Paradise
• Arcade Paradise - Arcade Paradise EP
• Arcade Spirits
• Arkham Horror: Mother's Embrace
• Armada 2526 Gold Edition
• Army Men RTS
• army of ruin
• Arto
• Ary and the Secret of Seasons
• As Far as the Eye
• Ascension to the Throne
• Assemble With Care
• Assetto Corsa Competizione
• Assetto Corsa Ultimate Edition
• Astebreed Definitive Edition
• Astro Colony
• Astronarch
• Attack of the Earthlings
• Automachef
• Automobilista
• Automobilista 2
• AUTONAUTS
• AUTONAUTS VS PIRATEBOTS
• Avatar: Frontiers of Pandora™ - Ubisoft Connect
• AVICII Invector: Encore Edition
• Awesomenauts All Nauts pack
• Axiom Verge
• Axiom Verge 2
• Baba is you
• Back 4 Blood
• Back 4 blood (EU)
• Backbone
• Baldur's Gate II: Enhanced Edition
• Baldur's Gate: Enhanced Edition
• Banners of Ruin
• Bartlow's Dread Machine
• Basement
• Batbarian: Testament of the Primordials
• Batman: Arkham Asylum Game of the Year Edition
• Batman: Arkham Origins
• Battle Royale Tycoon
• Battlecruisers
• Battlestar Galactica Deadlock
• BATTLESTAR GALACTICA DEADLOCK SEASON ONE
• Battlestar Galactica Deadlock: Complete
• BATTLETECH MERCENARY COLLECTION
• BATTLETECH Shadow Hawk Pack
• BEAUTIFUL DESOLATION
• Bee Simulator
• BEFORE WE LEAVE
• Beholder 2
• Ben 10
• Ben 10: Power Trip
• Bendy and the Ink Machine™
• Between the Stars
• Beyond a Steel Sky
• Beyond The Edge Of Owlsgard
• BEYOND THE WIRE
• Beyond: Two Souls
• BIOMUTANT
• Bionic Commando
• Bionic Commando Rearmed
• BioShock: The Collection
• BLACK BOOK
• Black Moon Chronicles
• Black Paradox
• BLACK SKYLANDS
• BLACKHOLE: Complete Edition
• Blacksad: Under the Skin
• Blade of Darkness
• Blasphemous
• Blazing Chrome
• Blightbound
• Blood And Zombies
• Blood Rage: Digital Edition
• Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night
• Blue Fire
• Bomber Crew
• Boneless Zombie
• Boomerang Fu
• Borderlands 3
• Borderlands 3 Super Deluxe
• Borderlands 3 Super Deluxe Edition
• Borderlands: The Handsome Collection
• Bot Vice
• Bounty of One
• Brawlout
• Breakout: Recharged
• Breathedge
• bridge constructor
• Bridge constructor medieval
• bridge constructor stunts
• Broken Lines
• Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
• Brutal Legend
• Bug Fables: The Everlasting Sapling
• BUILDER SIMULATOR
• calico
• Call of Duty® Modern Warfare 3™ (2011)
• Call of Juarez: Gunslinger
• Capitalism 2
• Car Mechanic 2018
• Car Mechanic Simulator 2015
• Car Mechanic Simulator 2018
• Cardboard Town
• Castle Morihisa
• castle storm
• CastleStorm
• Cat Cafe Manager
• Catherine Classic
• Caveblazers
• Celeste
• Centipede: Recharged
• Cepheus Protocol
• CHANGE: A Homeless Survival Experience
• Charlie's Adventure
• Chenso Club
• Chernobylite: Enhanced Edition
• Chess Ultra
• Chicago 1930 : The Prohibition
• Chivalry 2
• Chop Goblins
• Chorus
• Chorus
• Circuit Superstars
• Cities Skylines + After Dark
• Cities: Skylines
• City of Beats
• CivCity: Rome
• Click and Slay
• Cloud Gardens
• Cloudpunk
• Code Vein
• Coffee Talk
• Comedy Night
• Command & Conquer Remastered (Origin)
• Complete Dread X Collection
• Conarium
• Construction Simulator (2015) Deluxe Edition
• Constructor Plus
• Control
• Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3
• Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3?!
• Cookie Cutter
• cornucopia
• Corridor Z
• Cosmic Osmo and the Worlds Beyond the Mackerel
• Cosmonautica
• Crash Drive 2
• Crash Drive 3
• Creaks
• Creepy Tale
• Crookz the big heist
• CROSSBOW: Bloodnight
• Crush Your Enemies
• Cube Runner
• Cultist Simulator: Anthology Edition
• Curse: The Eye of Isis
• Cyber Ops
• Cybercube
• Danger Scavenger
• Dark Deity
• Dark Future
• DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: HOUSE OF ASHES
• Darkwood
• DARQ: Complete Edition
• Day of the Tentacle Remastered
• days of war definitive edition
• Dead by Daylight
• Dead Estate
• Dead Rising 2
• Deadly Days
• Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
• DEATH STRANDING DIRECTOR'S CUT
• Death's Gambit
• Deceased
• DECEIVE INC.
• Degrees of Separation
• Deleveled
• Delicious! Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire
• Deliver Us The Moon
• Demetrios - Deluxe Edition
• Depraved
• DESCENDERS
• Desert Child
• DESOLATE
• Destiny 2: Beyond Light
• DESTROYER: THE U-BOAT HUNTER
• Detention
• Devil May Cry HD Collection
• Devilated
• Dicey Dungeons
• Dirt 5
• dirt rally
• Dirt Rally 2.0
• Disaster Band
• Disciples III: Reincarnation
• Discolored
• Disjunction (GOG)
• DISTRAINT 2
• Distrust
• DmC: Devil May Cry
• Do Not Feed the Monkeys
• Don't Be Afraid
• Doomed Lands
• Door Kickers: Action Squad
• Doorways: Prelude
• Downfall
• Dragons Dogma Dark Arisen
• Dragon's Dogma: Dark Arisen
• Drake Hollow
• Draugen
• Draw Slasher
• Drawful 2
• Dreams in the Witch House
• Dreamscaper
• DreamWorks Dragons: Dawn of New Riders
• DRIFT21
• Driftland: The Magic Revival
• drive!drive!drive!
• Drone Swarm
• Due Process
• Duke Nukem: Manhattan Project
• Duke of Alpha Centauri
• Dungeon Rushers
• Dungeons 2
• Dungeons 3
• DUSK
• Dusk Diver
• Dust to the End
• Dynopunk
• Earth Defense Force 4.1 The Shadow of New Despair
• Eastern Exorcist
• Eastward
• Effie
• Eiyuden Chronicle: Rising
• El Matador
• Elderand
• Elderborn
• ELDEST SOULS
• Electrician Simulator
• Elemental Survivors
• Elex
• Elex II
• Elite Dangerous
• Embr
• Empire: Total War - Definitive Edition
• Empyrion - Galactic Survival
• ENCASED: A SCI-FI POST-APOCALYPTIC RPG
• Encodya (GOG)
• Endless Space 2
• Endless Space 2 - Digital Deluxe Edition
• Endless Space® 2 - Digital Deluxe Edition
• Endzone - A World Apart
• Epistory - Typing Chronicles
• Escape the backrooms
• Eternal Threads
• Etherborn
• Europa Universalis IV
• European Ship Simulator
• Everdream Valley
• Evil Genius 2: World Domination
• Exorder
• EXPEDITIONS: ROME
• Explosionade
• F1 2018
• F1 2019 Anniversary Edition
• F1 2020
• F1 RACE STARS Complete Edition Include DLC
• Fable Anniversary
• Factory Town
• Fallback uprising
• FALLOUT 1
• Family Man
• Family Mysteries 3: Criminal Mindset
• Fantasy Blacksmith
• FARMER'S DYNASTY
• Farming Simulator 17
• Farming Simulator 19
• Fictorum
• Field of Glory II
• Fights in Tight Spaces
• Filthy Animals Heist Simulator
• Firefighting Simulator - The Squad
• Fishing Adventure
• Flashback
• FLATLAND Vol.2
• FlatOut
• FLING TO THE FINISH
• Floppy Knights
• Fluffy Horde
• FOBIA - ST. DINFNA HOTEL
• For the King
• Forgive me Father
• Forts
• Framed Collection
• Fred3ric
• Fresh Start Cleaning Simulator
• Friends vs Friends
• Frog detective 2: The Case of the Invisible Wizard
• Frogun
• From Space
• From the Depths
• Frostpunk: Game of the Year Edition
• Frozenheim
• Fun with Ragdolls: The Game
• Funtasia
• Fury Unleashed
• Gamedec
• Gamedec - Definitive Edition
• Gang Beasts
• GARAGE bad trip
• Garden Story
• Garfield Kart
• GAS STATION SIMULATOR
• Gelly Break Deluxe
• Genesis Alpha One Deluxe Edition
• Gevaudan
• Ghost Song
• Ghostrunner
• Giana Sisters 2D
• GIGA WRECKER
• Gigantosaurus: Dino Kart
• Glitch Busters: Stuck On You
• Gloria Victis
• Go Home Dinosaurs
• Goat of Duty
• GOD EATER 3
• Godlike Burger
• Godstrike
• Going Under
• Golf Gang
• Golf It!
• Gone Home + Original Soundtrack
• Good Knight
• Gotham Knights
• GREAK: MEMORIES OF AZUR
• GREEDFALL
• Gremlins, inc
• grey goo
• GRID - 2019
• grid ultimate
• GRIP: Combat Racing
• Gungrave G.O.R.E
• Guppy
• Guts and glory
• GYLT
• Hacknet
• Haegemonia: Legions of Iron
• Hamilton's Great Adventure
• Hammerting
• Hammerwatch
• Hands of Necromancy
• Havsala: Into the Soul Palace
• Headsnatchers
• Heartwood Heroes
• Heat Signature
• Heaven's Vault
• Helheim Hassle
• Hell Let Loose
• Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice
• Hellbound
• Hellpoint
• Hellslave
• Hellstuck: Rage With Your Friends
• Hero of the Kingdom III
• Hero of the Kingdom: The Lost Tales 2
• Heroes of Hammerwatch
• Heros hour
• Hexologic
• Hidden & Dangerous 2: Courage Under Fire
• Hidden & Dangerous: Action Pack
• Hidden Deep
• Hi-Fi Rush
• High On Life
• Hitman (2016) Game of the Year Edition
• HITMAN 2 - Gold Edition
• Hoa
• Hob
• Hollow Knight
• Holy Potatoes! A Spy Story?!
• Home Sweet Home
• Home Sweet Home EP2
• Homestead Arcana
• Hood: Outlaws & Legends
• Hoplegs
• Hot Tin Roof: The Cat That Wore A Fedora
• HOT WHEELS UNLEASHED ™
• Hotshot Racing
• House Flipper
• How to Survive 2
• Hue
• Human: Fall Flat
• HUMANKIND DEFINITIVE EDITION
• Hungry Flame
• Hylics 2
• Hyper Knights
• I am Bread
• I Am Fish
• I am not a Monster: First Contact
• I Hate Running Backwards
• ibb & obb Double Pack
• ICBM
• Ice Age Scrat's Nutty Adventure
• Ice Lakes
• Impostor Factory
• IN SOUND MIND
• Indivisible
• INDUSTRIA
• Infectonator 3: Apocalypse
• Infinite Beyond The Mind
• Injustice 2 Legendary Edition
• Insane 2
• INSOMNIA: The Ark
• Internet Cafe Simulator
• Internet Cafe Simulator 2
• Interstellar Space: Genesis
• Iris and the Giant
• Iron Fisticle
• Iron Harvest
• Ittle Dew
• Ittle Dew 2+
• Jack Move
• Jackbox party pack 2
• Jackbox party pack 5
• JANITOR BLEEDS
• Joint Task Force
• Jotun: Valhalla Edition
• Journey For Elysium
• Journey to the Savage Planet
• JUMANJI: The Video Game
• JumpJet Rex
• Jupiter Hell
• Jurassic Park: The Game
• Jurassic World Evolution
• Jurassic World Evolution 2
• JUST CAUSE 4: COMPLETE EDITION
• Just Die Already
• Kardboard Kings: Card Shop Simulator
• Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes
• Ken Follett's The Pillars of the Earth
• Kentucky Route Zero - Season Pass Edition
• Kerbal Space Program
• Kill it with Fire
• Killing Floor 2 Digital Deluxe Edition
• Killing Room
• Kingdom Two Crowns
• Kingdom: New Lands
• King's Bounty: Crossworlds
• Knights of Pen & Paper 2
• Knock-knock
• Koi-Koi Japan [Hanafuda playing cards] *Koi-Koi Japan : UKIYOE tours Vol.1 DLC *Koi-Koi Japan : UKIYOE tours Vol.2 DLC *Koi-Koi Japan : UKIYOE tours Vol.3 DLC
• Konung 2
• KungFu Kickball
• Labyrinthine
• Lair of the Clockwork God
• Laserlife
• LAST OASIS
• Lawn Mowing Simulator
• Layers of Fear: Masterpiece Edition
• Lead and Gold: Gangs of the Wild West
• Learn Japanese To Survive! Hiragana Battle
• Learn Japanese To Survive! Katakana War
• Learn Japanese to Survive! Trilogy
• Legend of Keepers
• LEGION TD 2 - MULTIPLAYER TOWER DEFENSE
• LEGION TD 2 - MULTIPLAYER TOWER DEFENSE.
• Leisure Suit Larry - Wet Dreams Don't Dry
• Leisure Suit Larry 1-7
• Lemnis Gate
• Lemon Cake
• lethal league blaze
• Let's School
• Levelhead
• Liberated (GOG)
• Life is Strange Complete Season (Episodes 1-5)
• Light Fairytale Episode 1
• Light Fairytale Episode 2
• LIGHTMATTER
• Little dragons cafe
• Little Hope
• Little Inner Monsters - Card Game
• Little Misfortune
• Little Nightmares
• Little Nightmares Complete Edition
• Livelock
• Loop Hero
• Loot River
• Looterkings
• Lornsword Winter Chronicle
• Lost Castle
• Love Letter
• Lovecraft's Untold Stories
• Lovely planet arcade
• Lucius2
• Lucius3
• Ludus
• Lumberhill
• Lunacid
• LunarLux
• Lust for Darkness
• Lust from Beyond: M Edition
• Mad Experiments: Escape Room
• Mad Max
• Mafia Definitive Edition
• Mafia iii
• Mafia: Definitive Edition
• Magenta Horizon
• Mahjong Pretty Girls Battle
• Mahjong Pretty Girls Battle : School Girls Edition
• Maid of Sker
• Mail Time
• Maize
• Maneater
• Marooners
• MARSUPILAMI - HOOBADVENTURE
• Marvel's Avengers - The Definitive Edition
• Mato Anomalies
• Max Payne 3
• Mechs & Mercs: Black Talons
• Medieval II: Total War - Definitive Edition
• Medieval: Total War Collection
• MEEPLE STATION
• Men of War
• MERCHANT OF THE SKIES
• METAL HELLSINGER
• Metal Hellsinger
• Metro Exodus
• Metro last light
• Metro: Last Light Redux
• Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor GOTY
• Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor GOTY
• Middle-Earth: Shadow of War Definitive Edition
• MIDNIGHT PROTOCOL
• Mighty Switch Force! Collection
• Milky Way Prince - The Vampire Star
• MIND SCANNERS
• Ministry of Broadcast
• Minute of Islands
• Miscreated
• Mists of Noyah
• MKXL
• Mob Factory
• Mob Rule Classic
• Monaco
• Monster Hunter: Rise
• Monster Slayers - Complete Edition
• Monstrum
• Monstrum 2
• Moon Hunters
• Moons of Madness
• MORDHAU
• Mordheim: City of the Damned
• Mortal Kombat 11 Ultimate Edition
• MORTAL KOMBAT XL
• Mortal Shell
• Motorcycle Mechanic Simulator 2021
• Mr. Run and Jump
• MudRunner
• Murder Mystery Machine
• My Big Sister
• My Friend Peppa Pig
• My Little Universe
• My Lovely Wife
• My Summer Adventure: Memories of Another Life
• My Time At Portia
• Mythforce
• N++ (NPLUSPLUS)
• Napoleon: Total War - Definitive Edition
• NARUTO TO BORUTO: SHINOBI STRIKER
• Necesse
• NECROMUNDA: HIRED GUN
• Necronator: Dead Wrong
• NecroVisioN: Lost Company
• NecroWorm
• Neighbours back From Hell
• Nelly Cootalot: Spoonbeaks Ahoy! HD
• Neon Space
• Neon Space 2
• Neon Sundown
• Nephise: Ascension
• Neurodeck : Psychological Deckbuilder
• Never Alone Arctic Collection (w/ Foxtales DLC and FREE Soundtrack)
• Neverinth
• Neverout
• Neverwinter Nights: Complete Adventures
• Newt One
• Nexomon: Extinction
• Nigate Tale
• Nimbatus - The Space Drone Constructor
• Nine Parchments
• Nine Witches: Family Disruption
• Nioh 2: The Complete Collection
• No Straight Roads: Encore Edition
• No Time to Relax
• Nomad Survival
• Nongunz: Doppelganger Edition
• Noosphere
• Northgard
• Northmark: Hour of the Wolf
• Nostradamus: The Last Prophecy
• not the robots
• Not Tonight
• Nurse Love Addiction
• Nurse Love Syndrome
• Nusakana
• Obduction
• Obey Me
• Observer: System Redux
• Occultus - Mediterranean Cabal
• Odallus: The Dark Call
• Oddworld: New 'n' Tasty
• One Finger Death Punch 2
• One Hand Clapping
• One More Island
• One Step From Eden
• One Step From Eden (Region locked)
• Orbital Racer
• Organs Please
• Orwell: Ignorance is strength
• Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
• Out of Space
• Overclocked: A History of Violence
• Overcooked! 2 + Too Many Cooks + Surf 'n' Turf pack
• Overlord: Ultimate Evil Collection
• Overpass
• Overruled
• OZYMANDIAS: BRONZE AGE EMPIRE SIM
• Pac-Man Museum +
• Pan'Orama
• Panty Party
• Panzer Corps 2
• Panzer Paladin
• Papo & Yo
• PARADISE LOST
• Parkan 2
• PARTISANS 1941
• Passpartout 2: The Lost Artist
• Path of Giants
• Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous
• Patron
• Paw Patrol: On A Roll!
• Paw Paw Paw
• Paws of Coal
• Peaky Blinders: Mastermind
• PER ASPERA
• Perfect
• PGA 2K21
• Pharaonic
• Pixplode
• Pizza Connection 3
• Plague tale
• Planescape: Torment Enhanced Edition
• Planet Alcatraz
• PLANET ZOO
• PlateUp!
• Pogostuck: Rage With Your Friends
• Poker Pretty Girls Battle: Texas Hold'em
• Police Stories
• Poly Island
• Post Void
• Power Rangers: Battle for the Grid
• Prank Call
• Prehistoric Kingdom
• Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire
• Pretty Girls Panic!
• Prey
• Primal Carnage: Extinction
• Princess Kaguya: Legend of the Moon Warrior
• Pro Cycling Manager 2020
• Prodeus
• Project CARS - GOTY Edition
• Project Warlock
• Project Wingman (EU)
• PROJECT WINTER
• Propnight
• Pseudoregalia
• PULSAR: The Lost Colony
• qomp
• Quadrilateral Cowboy
• Quake II
• Quake II
• Quantum Break
• Quern - Undying Thoughts
• Radio Commander
• RAGE
• RAILROAD CORPORATION
• Railroad Tycoon 3
• Railroad Tycoon II Platinum
• Railway Empire
• Rain World
• Rayon Riddles - Rise of the Goblin King
• Re: Legend
• REBEL COPS
• Rebel Galaxy
• Rebel Galaxy Outlaw
• Recipe For Disaster
• Red Faction Guerrilla Re-Mars-tered
• Red Faction: Armageddon
• Red Riding Hood - Star Crossed Lovers
• Red Ronin
• RED SOLSTICE 2: SURVIVORS
• Redout Complete Bundle
• Redout: Enhanced Edition
• Redout: Enhanced Edition + DLC pack
• Regular Human Basketball
• REKT! High Octane Stunts
• Relicta
• REMNANT: FROM THE ASHES - COMPLETE EDITION
• Republique
• Rescue Party: Live!
• Resident Evil 0 HD REMASTER
• Resident Evil 5 Gold Edition
• Resident Evil 7 Biohazard
• Resident Evil Revelations
• Resort Boss: Golf
• Retimed
• RETROWAVE
• rFactor 2
• RiME
• Ring of Pain
• Rise of Industry + 2130 DLC
• Rise of the Slime
• Rising Storm 2: Vietnam + 2 DLCs
• Riven: The Sequel to MYST
• River City Girls
• River City Ransom: Underground
• Roarr! Jurassic Edition
• Roboquest
• Robot Squad Simulator 2017
• Rogue : Genesia
• ROGUE HEROES: RUINS OF TASOS
• ROGUE LORDS
• Rogue Stormers
• rollercoaster tycoon 2
• ROTASTIC
• Roundguard
• ROUNDS
• RUNNING WITH RIFLES
• Rustler
• Ryse: Son of Rome
• S.W.I.N.E. HD Remaster
• Sailing Era
• Saint Row
• SAINTS ROW
• Saints Row IV
• Saints Row The Third
• Saints Row: Gat Out of Hell
• Saints Row: The Third Remastered
• Sam and Max Devil's Playhouse
• SAMUDRA
• Sands of Aura
• Sands of Salzaar
• Saturday Morning RPG
• Save Room - Organization Puzzle
• Scarlet Tower
• Scars Above
• Scorn
• SCP: 5K
• SCUM
• SEARCH PARTY: Director's Cut
• Second Extinction
• Secret Government
• Serious Sam 3 Bonus Content DLC, Serious Sam 3: Jewel of the Nile, and Serious Sam 3: BFE
• SEUM speedrunners from hell
• SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell
• Severed Steel
• Shadow Tactics: Aiko's Choice
• Shadowgate
• Shadows Awakening
• SHADOWS: AWAKENING
• Shape of the World
• She Sees Red - Interactive Movie
• Shenmue I & II
• SHENZHEN I/O
• Shift Happens
• Shing!
• Shining Resonance Refrain
• Shoppe Keep 2
• Shoppe Keep 2 - Business and Agriculture RPG Simulation
• Shotgun King: The Final Checkmate
• Sid Meier's Civilization VI
• Sid Meier's Railroads!
• Sifu Deluxe Edition Upgrade Bundle (EPIC)
• Silver Chains
• SimCity 4 Deluxe Edition
• Sinking Island
• SINNER: Sacrifice for Redemption
• Siralim Ultimate
• Size Matters
• Skautfold Chapters 1-4
• Skullgirls 2nd Encore
• Slain: Back from Hell
• Slap City
• Slash It
• Slash It 2
• Slash It Ultimate
• Slay the Spire
• Small World
• Smart Factory Tycoon
• Smile For Me
• Smoke and Sacrifice
• Smoke and Sacrifice
• Smushi Come Home
• Snail bob 2 tiny troubles
• Sniper Elite 3
• Sniper Elite 3 + Season Pass DLC
• Sniper Elite 4 Deluxe Edition
• Sniper Ghost Warrior 3 - Season Pass Edition
• Sniper Ghost Warrior Contracts
• Snooker 19
• SONG OF HORROR COMPLETE EDITION
• Songs of Conquest
• Sonic Adventure 2
• Sonic Adventure DX
• Sonic and SEGA All Stars Racing
• Sonic Generations Collection
• Soulblight
• Souldiers
• SOULSTICE
• Soundfall
• Source of Madness
• Spartan Fist
• Spec Ops
• Speed Limit
• Spelunx and the Caves of Mr. Seudo
• Spidersaurs
• Spin Rush
• Spirit Hunter: Death Mark
• Spirit of the Island
• Spirit of the North
• Spring Bonus
• Spyro Reignited Trilogy
• Stairs
• STAR WARS - Knights of the Old Republic
• STAR WARS - The Force Unleashed Ultimate Sith Edition
• Star Wolves
• Starbound
• Starsand
• STASIS: Bone Totem
• State of Decay 2: Juggernaut Edition
• Steel Rats™
• Stick Fight: The Game
• Still Life
• Still Life 2
• Still There
• Stirring Abyss
• STONE
• Strange Brigade
• Strange Brigade Deluxe Edition
• STRANGER
• Strategic Command: World War I
• Strategic Mind: Blitzkrieg
• Strategic Mind: Fight for Freedom
• Strategic Mind: Spectre of Communism
• Strategic Mind: Spirit of Liberty
• Strategy & Tactics: Wargame Collection
• Streamer Life Simulator
• Street Fighter 30th Anniversary Collection
• Street Fighter V
• Strider
• Strikey Sisters
• Struggling
• Stubbs the Zombie in Rebel Without a Pulse
• Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
• Styx: Master of Shadows
• Styx: Shards of Darkness
• SuchArt
• Sudden Strike Gold
• Suite 776
• Sumoman
• Sunblaze
• SUNLESS BUNDLE
• Sunset Overdrive
• Super Buff HD
• Super Mag Bot
• Superbugs: Awaken
• Superhot
• Surgeon Simulator 2
• Survive the Nights
• Surviving Mars
• Surviving Mars
• Surviving The Aftermath
• Swag and Sorcery
• SWINE HD Remaster
• Sword Legacy Omen
• Sword of the Necromancer
• Swords and Soldiers 2 Shawarmageddon
• Syberia 3
• Symphonic Rain
• Symphony of War: The Nephilim Saga
• Synthwave Dream '85
• Tacoma
• Taiji
• Take Off - The Flight Simulator
• Tales
• Tales from the Borderlands
• Tales of Vesperia™: Definitive Edition
• Talk to Strangers
• Tallowmere
• Talos Principle (Gold)
• Tangledeep
• Tank Mechanic Simulator
• Tannenberg
• Team Sonic Racing
• TEKKEN 7
• TEMTEM
• Terminus: Zombie Survivors
• TERRAFORMERS
• Terratech Deluxe Edition
• Terror of Hemasaurus
• Textorcist
• Tharsis
• The Adventure Pals
• The Amazing American Circus
• The Ambassador: Fractured Timelines
• The Anacrusis
• The Ascent
• The Battle of Polytopia
• The Battle of Polytopia *DLC1. Cymanti Tribe *DLC2. ∑∫ỹriȱŋ Tribe *DLC3. Aquarion Tribe *DLC4. Polaris Tribe
• The Beast inside
• The Blackout Club
• The Callisto Protocol™
• The Chess Variants Club
• The Citadel
• The Colonists
• The Dark Pictures Anthology: House of Ashes
• THE DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: LITTLE HOPE
• The Darkest Tales
• The Dungeon Beneath
• The Dungeon of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet of Chaos
• The Elder Scrolls Adventures: Redguard
• The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind® Game of the Year Edition
• The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion® Game of the Year Edition
• The Elder Scrolls Online
• The Escapists 2
• THE GAME OF LIFE 2
• The Golf Club™ 2019 featuring PGA TOUR
• The haunted island, A frog detective
• The Haunted Island, a Frog Detective Game
• The Hong Kong Massacre
• The Horror Of Salazar House
• The Innsmouth Case
• The Invisible Hours
• The Jackbox Party Pack 9
• The Knight Witch
• The Last Campfire
• The LEGO Movie 2 Videogame
• The Letter - Horror Visual Novel
• The Long Dark
• The Manhole: Masterpiece Edition
• The Mortuary Assistant
• The Mummy Demastered
• The Occupation
• The Outer Worlds
• THE OUTER WORLDS: SPACER'S CHOICE EDITION
• THE PALE BEYOND
• The Quarry
• The Quarry deluxe
• The Ramp
• The Red Lantern
• The Rewinder
• The Sacred Tears TRUE
• The Sexy Brutale
• The Shapeshifting Detective
• The Tarnishing of Juxtia
• The Tenants
• The Uncertain - The Last Quiet Day
• The Uncertain: Last Quiet Day
• The Uncertain: Light At The End
• The USB Stick Found in the Grass
• The Walking Dead
• The Walking Dead - 400 Days
• The Walking Dead Saints and Sinners
• The Walking Dead: A New Frontier
• The Walking Dead: Final Season
• The Walking Dead: Michonne - A Telltale Miniseries
• The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners
• The Walking Dead: Season 1
• The Walking Dead: Season Two
• The Way
• The Wild At Heart
• The Wild Eight
• The Witness
• Them and Us
• They Bleed Pixels
• Thief of Thieves
• This War of Mine
• This Way Madness Lies
• Three Kingdom: The Journey
• Time on Frog Island
• Tinkertown
• Tiny Tina’s Wonderland(EU)
• TINY TINA'S WONDERLANDS CHAOTIC GREAT EDITION
• Tiny Troopers
• Tinykin
• Tinytopia
• TIS-100
• Titan Quest
• Tokyo Xanadu eX+
• Tom Clancy's The Division™
• Tom Clancy's The Division™ - Survival!
• Tools up
• Tooth and Tail
• Torchlight
• Total Tank Simulator
• Tour de France 2020
• Tower Unite
• Townsmen - A kingdom Rebuilt
• Trail Out
• Trailblazers
• Trailmakers
• Trailmakers Deluxe Edition
• Train Sim World 3: Standard Edition
• Train Simulator Classic
• Train Valley 1
• Transport INC
• Treasure Hunter Simulator
• TRIBES OF MIDGARD
• Trine 4: The Nightmare Prince
• Trinity Fusion
• Trombone Champ
• Tropico 5 - Complete Collection
• Trover Saves the Universe
• Tunche
• Turmoil
• Turok 2: Seeds of Evil
• Twin Mirror
• Two Point Campus
• Two Point Hospital
• TYPECAST
• Tyrant's Blessing
• Ultimate Chicken Horse
• Ultimate Zombie Defense
• Ultra Space Battle Brawl
• Unavowed
• Undead Horde
• Underhero
• Unexplored 2: The Wayfarer's Legacy
• Unity of Command: Stalingrad Campaign
• Universim
• UNLOVED
• Unpacking
• Until I have you
• Unto The End
• Upside Down
• URU: Complete Chronicles
• Vagante
• Valfaris
• Valfaris: Mecha Therion
• Valkryia Chronicles 4 Complete Edition
• Valkyria Chronicles 4 Complete Edition
• Valkyria Chronicles 4: Complete Edition
• Vambrace: Cold Soul
• Vampire - The Masquerade: Shadows of New York
• Vampire Survivors
• Vane
• Vectronom
• Velocity Noodle
• Venba
• Verne: The Shape of Fantasy
• Victoria 3
• Victoria II
• Viking: Battle For Asgard
• Virgo Versus The Zodiac
• VirtuaVerse
• Visage
• Viscerafest
• Void Bastards
• VOIDIGO
• Volcanoids
• Voltage High Society
• V-Rally 4
• Wanderlust: Travel Stories (GOG)
• Wanted: Dead
• Wargroove
• Warhammer 40,000 Sanctus Reach - Complete Edition
• Warhammer 40,000: Armageddon - Imperium Complete
• Warhammer 40,000: Battlesector
• Warhammer 40,000: Gladius - Relics of War
• Warhammer 40,000: Mechanicus
• Warhammer 40,000: Space Wolf Special Edition
• WARHAMMER AGE OF SIGMAR: REALMS OF RUIN – ULTIMATE EDITION
• Warhammer vermintide collector's edition
• Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide
• Warhammer: Vermintide 2
• Warman
• Warstone TD
• Wasteland 3
• Wayward
• WE NEED TO GO DEEPER
• We should talk.
• We Were Here Together
• We Were Here Too
• Webbed
• Werewolf: The Apocalypse Heart of the Forest
• West of Dead
• What Lies in the Multiverse
• When Ski Lifts Go Wrong
• while True: learn()
• Whos Your daddy
• Wick
• Windward
• Witch It
• Witchy Life Story
• wizard of legends
• Wolfenstein 3D
• Worms Rumble
• Worms Rumble + Legends Pack
• Wrath: Aeon of Ruin
• WRC 6 FIA World Rally Championship
• WRC 7 FIA World Rally Championship
• WWE 2K Battlegrounds
• WWE 2K23
• WWZ Aftermath
• Wytchwood
• X-COM: COMPLETE PACK
• XCOM: ULTIMATE COLLECTION
• XIII - Classic
• X-Morph: Defense
• X-Morph: Defense + European Assault, Survival of the Fittest, and Last Bastion DLC
• X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack
• Yakuza Kiwami
• Yakuza: Like A Dragon
• Yumeutsutsu Re:After
• Yumeutsutsu Re:Master
• Zen Chess: Mate in One, Mate in 2 , Mate in 3 , Mate in 4 , Champion's Moves (5 games)
• Ziggurat
• Zombie Army 4
• Zombie Army Trilogy
• Zool Redimensioned
• Zwei: The Arges adventure
• Zwei: The ilvard insurrection

DLCs and Softwares:

• For The King: Lost Civilization Adventure Pack
• Train Simulator: Isle of Wight Route Add-On
• Train Simulator: Woodhead Electric Railway in Blue Route Add-On
• Train Simulator: North Somerset Railway Route Add-On
• Train Simulator: Union Pacific Heritage SD70ACes Loco Add-On
• Train Simulator: London to Brighton Route Add-On
• BR Class 170 'Turbostar' DMU Add-On
• DB BR 648 Loco Add-On
• Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
• Expansion - Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
• Expansion - Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
• Grand Central Class 180 'Adelante' DMU Add-On
• Peninsula Corridor: San Francisco - Gilroy Route Add-On
• SONIC ADVENTURE 2: BATTLE
• Small World - A Spider's Web
• Small World - Cursed
• Small World - Royal Bonus
• The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet Of Chaos - Goodies Pack
• The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet Of Chaos - OST
• Thompson Class B1 Loco Add-On
• Total War: Shogun 2 - Rise of the Samurai
• Train Sim World® 3: Birmingham Cross-city line
• Train Sim World®: BR Class 20 'Chopper' Loco
• Train Sim World®: Brighton Main Line: London Victoria - Brighton
• Train Sim World®: Caltrain MP36PH-3C 'Baby Bullet'
• Train Sim World®: Cathcart Circle Line: Glasgow - Newton & Neilston
• Train Sim World®: Clinchfield Railroad: Elkhorn - Dante
• Train Sim World®: Great Western Express
• Train Sim World®: Hauptstrecke Hamburg - Lubeck
• Train Sim World®: LIRR M3 EMU
• Train Sim World®: Long Island Rail Road: New York - Hicksville
• Train Sim World®: Nahverkehr Dresden - Riesa
• Train Sim World®: Northern Trans-Pennine: Manchester - Leeds
• Train Sim World®: Peninsula Corridor: San Francisco - San Jose
• Train Sim World®: Rhein-Ruhr Osten: Wuppertal - Hagen
• Train Sim World®: Tees Valley Line: Darlington - Saltburn-by-the-sea
• Worms Rumble - Armageddon Weapon Skin Pack
• Worms Rumble - Captain & Shark Double Pack
• Worms Rumble - Legends Pack
• Worms Rumble - New Challengers Pack
• Ashampoo Photo Optimizer 7
• Dagon: by H. P. Lovecraft - The Eldritch Box DLC
• Duke Nukem Forever Hail to the Icons
• Duke Nukem Forever The Doctor Who Cloned Me
• GRIP: Combat Racing - Cygon Garage Kit
• GRIP: Combat Racing - Nyvoss Garage Kit
• GRIP: Combat Racing - Terra Garage Kit
• GRIP: Combat Racing - Vintek Garage Kit
• GameGuru
• GameMaker Studio 2 Creator 12 Months
• Intro to Game Development with Unity
• Music Maker EDM Edition
• Neverwinter Nights: Darkness Over Daggerford
• Neverwinter Nights: Enhanced Edition Dark Dreams of Furiae
• Neverwinter Nights: Enhanced Edition Tyrants of the Moonsea
• Neverwinter Nights: Enhanced Edition
• Neverwinter Nights: Infinite Dungeons
• Neverwinter Nights: Pirates of the Sword Coast
• Neverwinter Nights: Wyvern Crown of Cormyr
• PDF-Suite 1 Year License
• Pathfinder Second Edition Core Rulebook and Starfinder Core Rulebook
• RPG Maker VX
• WWE 2K BATTLEGROUNDS - Ultimate Brawlers Pass
• We Are Alright
• The Outer Worlds Expansion Pass
• A Hat in Time - Seal the Deal DLC
• City Skylines:mass transit
• A Game Of Thrones - A Dance With Dragons
• A Game Of Thrones - A Feast For Crows
• Blood Rage: Digital Edition - Gods of Asgard
• Blood Rage: Digital Edition - Mythical Monsters
• Blood Rage: Digital Edition - Mystics of Midgard
• Carcassonne - The Princess and The Dragon DLC
• Carcassonne - Traders & Builders DLC
• Carcassonne - Winter & Gingerbread Man DLC
• Carcassonne - Inns & Cathedrals
• Carcassonne - The River
• Splendor: The Trading Posts DLC
• Splendor: The Strongholds DLC
• Splendor: The Cities DLC
• Small World - Be Not Afraid... DLC
• Small World - Grand Dames DLC
• Small World - Cursed!
• Sands of Salzaar - The Ember Saga
• Sands of Salzaar - The Tournament
• Monster Train: The Last Divinity DLC
• WARSAW

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Wishlist
Region: NA (Canada)
Fees on buyer if any, currency is USD unless specified
CTRL + F to find your games in terms of name

• 10 Second Ninja X
• 11-11 Memories Retold
• 112 Operator
• 12 is Better Than 6
• 198X
• 1993 Space Machine
• 60 Parsecs
• 7 Billion Humans
• 8 DOORS
• 8-bit Adventure Anthology: Volume I
• 9 Years of Shadows
• 911 Operator
• A Game of Thrones: The Board Game
• A Hat in Time
• A Hole New World
• A JUGGLER'S TALE
• A Long Way Down
• A PLAGUE TALE: INNOCENCE
• A Robot Named Fight!
• A Tale for Anna
• A.I.M.2 Clan Wars
• Abalon (Summoners Fate)
• Above Snakes
• ABZU
• Ace Combat Assault Horizon Enhanced Edition
• ADOM
• Adore
• Aegis Defenders
• Aeterna Noctis
• AETHERIS
• Agatha Christie Hercule Poirot The First Cases
• AIdol
• Airborne Kingdom
• Alba: A Wildlife Adventure
• Alder's Blood: Definitive Edition
• Alfred Hitchcock - Vertigo
• Alien Breed Trilogy
• Aliens vs. Predator™ Collection
• All-Star Fruit Racing
• Almost There: The Platformer
• American Fugitive
• American Truck Simulator
• Amerzone: The Explorer’s Legacy
• AMID EVIL
• Amnesia rebirth
• Amnesia: The Dark Descent + Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs
• Anomalous
• Another World – 20th Anniversary Edition
• Antigraviator
• Anuchard
• APICO
• APICO
• Aragami
• Aragami 2
• Arboria
• Arcade Paradise
• Arcade Paradise - Arcade Paradise EP
• Arcade Spirits
• Arkham Horror: Mother's Embrace
• Armada 2526 Gold Edition
• Army Men RTS
• army of ruin
• Arto
• Ary and the Secret of Seasons
• As Far as the Eye
• Ascension to the Throne
• Assemble With Care
• Assetto Corsa Competizione
• Assetto Corsa Ultimate Edition
• Astebreed Definitive Edition
• Astro Colony
• Astronarch
• Attack of the Earthlings
• Automachef
• Automobilista
• Automobilista 2
• AUTONAUTS
• AUTONAUTS VS PIRATEBOTS
• Avatar: Frontiers of Pandora™ - Ubisoft Connect
• AVICII Invector: Encore Edition
• Awesomenauts All Nauts pack
• Axiom Verge
• Axiom Verge 2
• Baba is you
• Back 4 Blood
• Back 4 blood (EU)
• Backbone
• Baldur's Gate II: Enhanced Edition
• Baldur's Gate: Enhanced Edition
• Banners of Ruin
• Bartlow's Dread Machine
• Basement
• Batbarian: Testament of the Primordials
• Batman: Arkham Asylum Game of the Year Edition
• Batman: Arkham Origins
• Battle Royale Tycoon
• Battlecruisers
• Battlestar Galactica Deadlock
• BATTLESTAR GALACTICA DEADLOCK SEASON ONE
• Battlestar Galactica Deadlock: Complete
• BATTLETECH MERCENARY COLLECTION
• BATTLETECH Shadow Hawk Pack
• BEAUTIFUL DESOLATION
• Bee Simulator
• BEFORE WE LEAVE
• Beholder 2
• Ben 10
• Ben 10: Power Trip
• Bendy and the Ink Machine™
• Between the Stars
• Beyond a Steel Sky
• Beyond The Edge Of Owlsgard
• BEYOND THE WIRE
• Beyond: Two Souls
• BIOMUTANT
• Bionic Commando
• Bionic Commando Rearmed
• BioShock: The Collection
• BLACK BOOK
• Black Moon Chronicles
• Black Paradox
• BLACK SKYLANDS
• BLACKHOLE: Complete Edition
• Blacksad: Under the Skin
• Blade of Darkness
• Blasphemous
• Blazing Chrome
• Blightbound
• Blood And Zombies
• Blood Rage: Digital Edition
• Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night
• Blue Fire
• Bomber Crew
• Boneless Zombie
• Boomerang Fu
• Borderlands 3
• Borderlands 3 Super Deluxe
• Borderlands 3 Super Deluxe Edition
• Borderlands: The Handsome Collection
• Bot Vice
• Bounty of One
• Brawlout
• Breakout: Recharged
• Breathedge
• bridge constructor
• Bridge constructor medieval
• bridge constructor stunts
• Broken Lines
• Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
• Brutal Legend
• Bug Fables: The Everlasting Sapling
• BUILDER SIMULATOR
• calico
• Call of Duty® Modern Warfare 3™ (2011)
• Call of Juarez: Gunslinger
• Capitalism 2
• Car Mechanic 2018
• Car Mechanic Simulator 2015
• Car Mechanic Simulator 2018
• Cardboard Town
• Castle Morihisa
• castle storm
• CastleStorm
• Cat Cafe Manager
• Catherine Classic
• Caveblazers
• Celeste
• Centipede: Recharged
• Cepheus Protocol
• CHANGE: A Homeless Survival Experience
• Charlie's Adventure
• Chenso Club
• Chernobylite: Enhanced Edition
• Chess Ultra
• Chicago 1930 : The Prohibition
• Chivalry 2
• Chop Goblins
• Chorus
• Chorus
• Circuit Superstars
• Cities Skylines + After Dark
• Cities: Skylines
• City of Beats
• CivCity: Rome
• Click and Slay
• Cloud Gardens
• Cloudpunk
• Code Vein
• Coffee Talk
• Comedy Night
• Command & Conquer Remastered (Origin)
• Complete Dread X Collection
• Conarium
• Construction Simulator (2015) Deluxe Edition
• Constructor Plus
• Control
• Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3
• Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3?!
• Cookie Cutter
• cornucopia
• Corridor Z
• Cosmic Osmo and the Worlds Beyond the Mackerel
• Cosmonautica
• Crash Drive 2
• Crash Drive 3
• Creaks
• Creepy Tale
• Crookz the big heist
• CROSSBOW: Bloodnight
• Crush Your Enemies
• Cube Runner
• Cultist Simulator: Anthology Edition
• Curse: The Eye of Isis
• Cyber Ops
• Cybercube
• Danger Scavenger
• Dark Deity
• Dark Future
• DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: HOUSE OF ASHES
• Darkwood
• DARQ: Complete Edition
• Day of the Tentacle Remastered
• days of war definitive edition
• Dead by Daylight
• Dead Estate
• Dead Rising 2
• Deadly Days
• Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
• DEATH STRANDING DIRECTOR'S CUT
• Death's Gambit
• Deceased
• DECEIVE INC.
• Degrees of Separation
• Deleveled
• Delicious! Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire
• Deliver Us The Moon
• Demetrios - Deluxe Edition
• Depraved
• DESCENDERS
• Desert Child
• DESOLATE
• Destiny 2: Beyond Light
• DESTROYER: THE U-BOAT HUNTER
• Detention
• Devil May Cry HD Collection
• Devilated
• Dicey Dungeons
• Dirt 5
• dirt rally
• Dirt Rally 2.0
• Disaster Band
• Disciples III: Reincarnation
• Discolored
• Disjunction (GOG)
• DISTRAINT 2
• Distrust
• DmC: Devil May Cry
• Do Not Feed the Monkeys
• Don't Be Afraid
• Doomed Lands
• Door Kickers: Action Squad
• Doorways: Prelude
• Downfall
• Dragons Dogma Dark Arisen
• Dragon's Dogma: Dark Arisen
• Drake Hollow
• Draugen
• Draw Slasher
• Drawful 2
• Dreams in the Witch House
• Dreamscaper
• DreamWorks Dragons: Dawn of New Riders
• DRIFT21
• Driftland: The Magic Revival
• drive!drive!drive!
• Drone Swarm
• Due Process
• Duke Nukem: Manhattan Project
• Duke of Alpha Centauri
• Dungeon Rushers
• Dungeons 2
• Dungeons 3
• DUSK
• Dusk Diver
• Dust to the End
• Dynopunk
• Earth Defense Force 4.1 The Shadow of New Despair
• Eastern Exorcist
• Eastward
• Effie
• Eiyuden Chronicle: Rising
• El Matador
• Elderand
• Elderborn
• ELDEST SOULS
• Electrician Simulator
• Elemental Survivors
• Elex
• Elex II
• Elite Dangerous
• Embr
• Empire: Total War - Definitive Edition
• Empyrion - Galactic Survival
• ENCASED: A SCI-FI POST-APOCALYPTIC RPG
• Encodya (GOG)
• Endless Space 2
• Endless Space 2 - Digital Deluxe Edition
• Endless Space® 2 - Digital Deluxe Edition
• Endzone - A World Apart
• Epistory - Typing Chronicles
• Escape the backrooms
• Eternal Threads
• Etherborn
• Europa Universalis IV
• European Ship Simulator
• Everdream Valley
• Evil Genius 2: World Domination
• Exorder
• EXPEDITIONS: ROME
• Explosionade
• F1 2018
• F1 2019 Anniversary Edition
• F1 2020
• F1 RACE STARS Complete Edition Include DLC
• Fable Anniversary
• Factory Town
• Fallback uprising
• FALLOUT 1
• Family Man
• Family Mysteries 3: Criminal Mindset
• Fantasy Blacksmith
• FARMER'S DYNASTY
• Farming Simulator 17
• Farming Simulator 19
• Fictorum
• Field of Glory II
• Fights in Tight Spaces
• Filthy Animals Heist Simulator
• Firefighting Simulator - The Squad
• Fishing Adventure
• Flashback
• FLATLAND Vol.2
• FlatOut
• FLING TO THE FINISH
• Floppy Knights
• Fluffy Horde
• FOBIA - ST. DINFNA HOTEL
• For the King
• Forgive me Father
• Forts
• Framed Collection
• Fred3ric
• Fresh Start Cleaning Simulator
• Friends vs Friends
• Frog detective 2: The Case of the Invisible Wizard
• Frogun
• From Space
• From the Depths
• Frostpunk: Game of the Year Edition
• Frozenheim
• Fun with Ragdolls: The Game
• Funtasia
• Fury Unleashed
• Gamedec
• Gamedec - Definitive Edition
• Gang Beasts
• GARAGE bad trip
• Garden Story
• Garfield Kart
• GAS STATION SIMULATOR
• Gelly Break Deluxe
• Genesis Alpha One Deluxe Edition
• Gevaudan
• Ghost Song
• Ghostrunner
• Giana Sisters 2D
• GIGA WRECKER
• Gigantosaurus: Dino Kart
• Glitch Busters: Stuck On You
• Gloria Victis
• Go Home Dinosaurs
• Goat of Duty
• GOD EATER 3
• Godlike Burger
• Godstrike
• Going Under
• Golf Gang
• Golf It!
• Gone Home + Original Soundtrack
• Good Knight
• Gotham Knights
• GREAK: MEMORIES OF AZUR
• GREEDFALL
• Gremlins, inc
• grey goo
• GRID - 2019
• grid ultimate
• GRIP: Combat Racing
• Gungrave G.O.R.E
• Guppy
• Guts and glory
• GYLT
• Hacknet
• Haegemonia: Legions of Iron
• Hamilton's Great Adventure
• Hammerting
• Hammerwatch
• Hands of Necromancy
• Havsala: Into the Soul Palace
• Headsnatchers
• Heartwood Heroes
• Heat Signature
• Heaven's Vault
• Helheim Hassle
• Hell Let Loose
• Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice
• Hellbound
• Hellpoint
• Hellslave
• Hellstuck: Rage With Your Friends
• Hero of the Kingdom III
• Hero of the Kingdom: The Lost Tales 2
• Heroes of Hammerwatch
• Heros hour
• Hexologic
• Hidden & Dangerous 2: Courage Under Fire
• Hidden & Dangerous: Action Pack
• Hidden Deep
• Hi-Fi Rush
• High On Life
• Hitman (2016) Game of the Year Edition
• HITMAN 2 - Gold Edition
• Hoa
• Hob
• Hollow Knight
• Holy Potatoes! A Spy Story?!
• Home Sweet Home
• Home Sweet Home EP2
• Homestead Arcana
• Hood: Outlaws & Legends
• Hoplegs
• Hot Tin Roof: The Cat That Wore A Fedora
• HOT WHEELS UNLEASHED ™
• Hotshot Racing
• House Flipper
• How to Survive 2
• Hue
• Human: Fall Flat
• HUMANKIND DEFINITIVE EDITION
• Hungry Flame
• Hylics 2
• Hyper Knights
• I am Bread
• I Am Fish
• I am not a Monster: First Contact
• I Hate Running Backwards
• ibb & obb Double Pack
• ICBM
• Ice Age Scrat's Nutty Adventure
• Ice Lakes
• Impostor Factory
• IN SOUND MIND
• Indivisible
• INDUSTRIA
• Infectonator 3: Apocalypse
• Infinite Beyond The Mind
• Injustice 2 Legendary Edition
• Insane 2
• INSOMNIA: The Ark
• Internet Cafe Simulator
• Internet Cafe Simulator 2
• Interstellar Space: Genesis
• Iris and the Giant
• Iron Fisticle
• Iron Harvest
• Ittle Dew
• Ittle Dew 2+
• Jack Move
• Jackbox party pack 2
• Jackbox party pack 5
• JANITOR BLEEDS
• Joint Task Force
• Jotun: Valhalla Edition
• Journey For Elysium
• Journey to the Savage Planet
• JUMANJI: The Video Game
• JumpJet Rex
• Jupiter Hell
• Jurassic Park: The Game
• Jurassic World Evolution
• Jurassic World Evolution 2
• JUST CAUSE 4: COMPLETE EDITION
• Just Die Already
• Kardboard Kings: Card Shop Simulator
• Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes
• Ken Follett's The Pillars of the Earth
• Kentucky Route Zero - Season Pass Edition
• Kerbal Space Program
• Kill it with Fire
• Killing Floor 2 Digital Deluxe Edition
• Killing Room
• Kingdom Two Crowns
• Kingdom: New Lands
• King's Bounty: Crossworlds
• Knights of Pen & Paper 2
• Knock-knock
• Koi-Koi Japan [Hanafuda playing cards] *Koi-Koi Japan : UKIYOE tours Vol.1 DLC *Koi-Koi Japan : UKIYOE tours Vol.2 DLC *Koi-Koi Japan : UKIYOE tours Vol.3 DLC
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My daughter is 3 weeks old and we saw an OT originally to "prepare for a tongue tie release" but after some research we will most likely not be doing the tongue tie release. The OT prescribed a few things for calming the nervous system:

1. Facial tapping in this pattern from temple to various places and back,
2. Rhythmic movement (sliding baby back and forth on the bed);

And the following for tension/ROM: 1. Circular massage with fingers on feet, sternum, chin, and sides of the navel. 2. Movement in the biased direction 20 times and in the antagonistic direction 5 times, e.g. to correct overpronation of feet, pronate the feet 20x then suppinate 5x.
As someone who suffers from a lot of inflexibility and stiffness and have had many bad experiences with PTs until eventually figuring out on my own that what really works is massage for temporary relief/increase in ROM and stretching (ideally with load at end range), I don't really see how the exercises for ROM would really accomplish anything. I'm not really convinced that babies really hold enough tension for it to be a problem, especially because my daughter is incredibly well behaved and never cries for an unknown reason. I can't speak at all to the nervous system stuff. I'm asking for the evidence on some of these things that we've been recommended and also open to learning about anything else that's good for a baby's nervous system. I do not have time to do anything that doesn't have evidence behind it at this current point.

https://i.imgur.com/wfzrgXo.jpeg
My plan was to score around the damage to get a cleaner edge first.
Should I use drywall compound?
I have dry Dex and that was my original plan, but it was before seeing how bad the wall was behind it. Seems like it might be 'too much' for it. Plus there is another fixture that needs to go.
Thanks, I'm pretty unfamiliar with this stuff. Learning as I go.

Hi all,
(Using a throwaway account.)
I (M,42) will try to summarize my story as much as possible. I am just trying to give the right context as I feel that this is necessary to give an honest account of the situation. (otherwise skip to “This takes us to the situation we are in today.”) My main question would be if you think my partner (F, 44) is possibly abusing me without me realizing it? My main struggle is that I really do not know anymore how to react to her and I am really starting to doubt myself.
Current family situation is me living with my partner, our daughter (F,8) and every other week my daughter out of my previous marriage (F,15)
I met my current partner around 2 years after my divorce. My divorce was "handled" quite well but from an emotional perspective I still found it quite traumatic. More than I would have thought. Everything started to go downhill when our daughter was born 2 months early. There was the whole process of having to go back and forth to the hospital for 2 months to see our daughter. All the joy of childbirth is sort of taken away from you. My ex got postpartum depression and I got a burnout and a depression after that. We basically grew apart, started to get interested in other people and she eventually cheated on me with somebody from group therapy. I felt quite guilty towards my daughter and I basically never wanted it to come to a divorce. I really felt that she was "the love of my life".
Things started off quite well with Mari about 10 years ago. (For the sake of the story let's call her Mari). We met online and at that time she was trying to have a baby through IVF to be a single mom. She already had many tries and she was not having any success. She also had had some miscarriages. Once we started to get serious she stopped the treatment and we discussed having a child together. After a bit more than a year together we bought a house and shortly after that we tried to get pregnant. Seeing her history we consulted with fertility services. Although the results of the tests were not great we managed to get pregnant spontaneously after less then 6 months. Really a surprise. But we were happy.
Our daughter was born a bit more than a month early. (Lets call her Kirsten) Again we were not granted a "normal" childbirth and again we had to go back and forth to the hospital to see our daughter. It was not as intense as with my first daughter but still a lot of the joy was again replaced with stress and worry. It was clear that Mari was also not handling this very well. She started to get panic attacks at home. She could not leave the couch anymore and was being prescribed different medications including Xanax by our GP. I was really worried at this point and had no faith in our GP prescribing all this sort of medication. So I rang up here Gyno and she had her readmitted to the hospital and arranged a psych consult. There they advised on having her admitted to a psych ward specifically for mothers together with their child. In the end we did not do this as we found this a bit drastic.
Once Kirsten got home everything started to pick up again but Mari was not taking care of herself when it came to her depression. She had a few sessions with a psychiatrist but fairly quickly stopped going. "She had told her story and that was that. She felt like there was nothing that anybody could really do for her." After a while she started to feel a bit better but I knew this was going to backfire, having been depressed for a long time myself.
Kirsten was not an easy baby. She had trouble eating, sleeping and she cried from the moment you stopped moving. So when taking a stroll, when in the car, etc... This made it very difficult to actually do something with her. I do not want to exaggerate this, I know this is not that uncommon, but I do think it really put more stress on the relationship Mari had with the baby.
When Kirsten was around 2,5 years old she got pneumonia and she had to stay in the hospital for more than a week. She could not leave the bed. Somebody had to stay with her during the night also. Mari said she was just not able to do this. She just "could not cope with that". So I was there almost every night. My mother in law also did 2 nights. At that time I really did not understand what to make of that situation. Why she could not take some responsibility as a mother.
Our relationship was under some stress, but I figured this was not that strange with a young child and I did not want to push her. Especially the physical part of our relationship was really taking a blow. It started with having less and less sex and then evolving into less physical interaction in general.
Shortly after that we got the message from the kindergarten teacher that we maybe should have Kirsten checked for possible developmental disorders. After several months of testing we got the diagnosis of ASD. There were definitely things that had had us worried before. Kirsten would get mad and pull out her hair. It had taken a very long time before she could walk, she would be scared to go to kids parties,...
In the meanwhile Mari started to talk about having another baby. This was something that we never really discussed before. I was not a fan of another baby because I felt that we were having issues in handling the situation as it was. (Especially Mari) I already had had 2 early born babies and really did not want this a third time. We would be completely in over our heads. She said that this was what she wanted from the start and that she had mentioned this when we met. For me this was not the case. This was just never talked about before. We discussed this a few times and I really made it clear that for me this was not an option. She kept bringing up the topic. Especially in bed. And I really started to feel like she was using this as leverage or sort of pascoin to have sex. She would also keep saying that I did not wanted to talk about it. I would explain to her that we discussed it and that I explained my view and that there was basically nothing else to discuss.
At a certain moment I caved for the always repeating nagging. I’m not sure why. Maybe we had a few better weeks or I took pity in her or I don’t know. But we decided we were going to try for another baby. I think it took around half a year before she was pregnant again. Only to get the news at 12 weeks that the heart of the baby was not beating. This for me was the final “sign” that I did not want to try anymore.
Looking back I think this is where I really handled the situation badly. I should never have caved on trying for another child and I also think that I probably did not support her well enough after the miscarriage. All this was not intentional but still… Mari on the other hand was mad that she was so close to getting what she wanted but lost it in the end. I really feel like this is a key moment in our relationship that she totally blamed on me.
After this the lack of affection just became bigger. Where before it was mostly purely physical contact that she blocked it was now becoming affection in general. Every time I brought up the subject there would be “excuses” or she would just change the subject. Things like “I was never cuddly”, “I never had a (high) sexdrive”,... this was just not true. She would also say things like that she was tired because she had to do everything around the house. So deflecting the actual topic with something that had a core of truth but was completely beside the point of the conversation.
I am by no means perfect and I know that I could probably do a bit more around the house when it comes to daily chores. But I also do a lot of things in the family that Mari never does. I get up during the night when there is an issue with the kids, I get up in the morning with the kids and let her sleep in, I handle most of the “difficult situations” with the kids, take the kids to school in the morning,... Basically everything that is more kids and emotional related in the family I handle and she handles a lot of the practical daily stuff.The kids know this and will naturally come to me when there is an issue because I will handle it calmly, while Mari is a lot less predictable. She also only works 4 days a week and if she has a late shift or a weekend I am covering this at home. Afterwards she will get days off for this but I will still just work my 5 days during the week. I also have no hobbies that make me be away from home. Only thing is that I am away 3 times a year for 3 days for work.
A couple years later my oldest (lets call her Denise) was starting to have issues. She was around 11-12 when this started. It started really small, other kids saying that she was weird, she was having some confidence issues. Nothing to be worried about at first. She had always been an easy, happy child. We sort of thought that it was mainly a teenager thing. Also the relationship between Mari and Denise had always been fine.
But things only got worse over the time of a year. She was starting to get depressed, getting panic attacks, suicide thoughts,... She was basically going to school only half of the time and this was putting a lot of stress on our family. Each day would be a surprise on how she would feel. It was also not safe to leave her alone. She was getting professional help once a week but this of course did not really resolve the situation quickly. I went to the E.R. with her several times because she had a panic attack and she thought she was going to hurt herself. (Which she did sometimes. Or she would eat like something dangerous and then panic) In the E.R. they basically just did a psych consult to make sure she would not kill herself that night and then sent her home because there were just no spots in the children's psych ward.
The relationship between Denise and Mari took a turn for the worst. I totally understand that this was a difficult situation for Mari (as for the rest of us) but what really struck me was the total lack of empathy toward me or Denise. She was basically convinced that this was all just attention seeking from Denise and I was being played. This was of course also clear to Denise. Me and my ex were doing everything we could to provide the best possible help for Denise. All while Mari thought we were totally overreacting and we should send her back to school. She would make remarks if I had to take time off work when I had to take Denise to an appointment. “It is always something, don't you need to work?” Mari could only see the impact this had on her and that she had to live with this situation while this was not her problem.
One situation is still carved in my mind. During one of her difficult days Denise had written her thoughts on paper because this sometimes helped. She had thrown away the paper in the paper bin but it was lying on top and Mari had read the paper. In the paper it said that Denise never wanted Mari to be part of our lives and that she hated her. Mari was furious and confronted Denise with this. Denise tried to explain that this was written on a bad day and that she was sorry. Mari would not have any of it. She would not accept an apology and she would basically the next weeks act like Denise was not there. As far as she was concerned Denise was not her issue anymore.
For me this was completely unreal. I can understand that you are maybe not very happy when you read something like that, but we are talking about a 13 year old child that clearly has issues. She is still the adult in the situation and that is no way to handle a situation like that. There was totally no empathy towards me or Denise. Mari could also not understand that I did not choose her side in this.
We are now 2 years after that fight and Denise and Mari have VERY slowly started to communicate again. But mostly they still sort of ignore each other. The last 2 years Denise basically did not go to school but she was able to follow more structured therapy. She got tested and just like her smaller sister she has ASD although in a more subtle form. She is doing quite well the last few months and can hopefully start school again in a special educational needs school in september.
This takes us to the situation we are in today.
Mari is basically constantly in a bad mood. (Even Kirsten says this. “Mommy is always angry”) There is no affection whatsoever anymore towards me. Everything is a remark. Not always a nasty remark, but still a remark.
There is no empathy towards me or Denise. There are no compliments, no “how was your day?”, no interest whatsoever. To Kirsten she sort of forces herself to show affection but it always feels a bit off.
When I bring up the fact that I cannot touch her anymore, that she has no interest in me, that she cannot say a nice word to me, she just ignores it.
She wants me to sit with her in the evening to watch some television or whatever and she wants me to come to bed when she goes to bed. But she does not understand that I see no reason to go sit with her because I cannot sit close to her and it is only to get more remarks. The same with going to bed. I cannot come close to her and she always complains that I snore.
It is just a constant rain of (usually small) remarks but NEVER a good word. And when I sometimes say something back or make a remark towards her it is like I committed murder.
A few months ago I was in the hospital with severe pneumonia. When she visited she was all about how hard it was to take care of Kirsten alone. (I admit that it is not easy) Then when I was there for almost a week she asked me if I would be coming home? I said that it would take longer than a week before I could come home. (I was still on oxygen and had not been able to leave my bed unless to go shower sitting down or to the toilet. I had not been off my room.) She was like “You have got to be kidding me! I cannot keep doing this alone at home!” I was totally baffled. What was I supposed to say to that?
We also have a hard time really providing a good structured environment for Kirsten her ASD. Again not that strange, lots of parents are struggling. But the weird thing with Mari is that she tries to find solutions, but she is not willing to really change or adapt herself to the situation. It should be like a solution that only affects Kirsten. I have already tried to explain to her that this is something we need to tackle as a family and that we all need to adapt. But she only sees the impact it has on her. “All the issues originate from things or people around her and they need to be solved there. It is never Mari that needs to change.”
We are doing a pretty good job at keeping the family running from a practical perspective. And Mari plays a big part in this. But like already mentioned from the moment she would need to change something about herself this is a no go.
For Denise's therapy there were also family sessions. I was able to get Mari to go to one with me. That ended really badly. She said that we were attacking her. She knew she shouldn't have come. (During therapy, not afterwards.) After that I was never able to get her to come again. Even not after personal calls from the therapist to her.
All these therapists tell me the same thing after I paint them the picture: “How do you keep doing this?”
The therapist that came over this week for a “family session” told me that I really needed to start taking better care of myself because a lot of these things were sounding a lot like psychological abuse. She told me to contact my psychiatrist or a therapist to help me in coping with this behavior and see what my options are in the long run.
I cannot stop thinking about this. I do not know what to do or how to react anymore to Mari. I feel like nothing really helps. I would love to have her go to couples therapy with me and sort this out because I still love her and I do not want another split family. But I also think that is just not going to happen. I really feel that the last few months I’m starting to doubt myself and lose myself. Am I the difficult one in this situation? Am I overlooking something fundamental in my behavior?
I would love to hear your thoughts.