What men should know about cancer woman

At an event I (F 53) was approached by a man (50). Not particularly attractive but nothing wrong with that. Tall, a full head of hair, good teeth, just a tiny bit overweight.
We hung out together for the rest of the event and exchanged phone numbers. Personally, I would like to get to know him a little better, but I also have my doubts about a number of things and would like to know whether you see these as hard red flags why I should cut off contact.
1 He has never been in a relationship. 50 years old and never in a relationship, isn't there something wrong with such a man? He spoke to me, which many men do not dare, and it was immediately clear why he did so; he said he thought I was an attractive woman. Surely men who dare to do that have had a relationship at that age? Or would he have mustered up the courage he otherwise wouldn't have? He seemed nervous, but when I asked about it he said he wasn't nervous. He also said that he hasn't had many dates and briefly mentioned that when chatting with women on dating sites, he quickly went too far, which turned women off.
2 He gave me a lot of compliments which made me uncomfortable because it was just too much.
3 He was quite physical straight away. Within a few minutes he moved so that he was standing side by side against me. Even when we went for a drink he sat down so that he was actually sitting against me. When I left he wanted to take me to my car (yes, I actually saw why and made a defensive joke about it) and tried to walk hand in hand with me, which I refused. I told him that I thought that went way too fast. I gave him a quick chaste kiss on the mouth and then got three kisses on my cheeks (normal in my country) after which he tried to kiss me on the mouth again which I rebuffed. Luckily he left his hands at home.
So I have doubts. Should I give it a chance but make sure I'm not alone with him (I think he'll jump on me) or just not do it? Somehow I think this could just be clumsy behavior on his part and that he might actually be a really good guy. But the fact that he has never had a relationship at his age seems like a red flag to me.

I tend to see myself as a strong person. As a kind person. And as someone who generally shows empathy and compassion and respect, to all people, whatever their social status or walk of life. I think we are all equal in worth and I treat people the way I think we should all be treated.
I want to talk about what bothers me. So, someone I work with is an older woman who was a big shot in her field and very highly educated. She also has a physical illness now that requires she have caretakers. The caretakers are often women who have little formal education, sometimes don’t speak English well. Over the years, some of them have been very kind to me, some have been a little off towards me, like trying to flex their little authority over me but generally backing off because I ignore them. One of the new caretakers is a woman who is about 10 years older than me and who appears to be very brash. She speaks English moderately well (thick East Asian accent). When I’m visiting the person I work with, this caretaker seems to interrogate me when I’m eating dessert that I’m offered - like, I’ll go and get the vanilla ice cream and she’ll say I can’t or will stare at me when I’m eating snacks. Over the years, I’ve always been told to eat whatever I wanted (I don’t eat much anyways) and to not ask for permission in the house - the older woman sees me as a granddaughter I think (agewise, it makes sense) and I’ve known her for 8 years. When I’m working with the older woman or talking to her husband, sometimes they’ll mention someone or something I don’t know. And when this happens, I will say I don’t know and will ask them to explain and they always do. What is odd and bothersome is that this new caretaker laughs every time I say I don’t know something & sometimes even says “ohhh you don’t know that?!??” I ignored her every time but she continues to do this. I want to tell her - on the spot, in front of everyone - that this is inappropriate. And to never speak to me that way. But I worry that it’ll make me look bad to the older woman and her husband who are fond of this caretaker (frankly, they’re very dependent on having a caretaker and seem to be bound by limited availability of good caretakers).
This is bothering me because it is very disrespectful behavior towards me. And, it pulls on something else: I notice that I get mistreated quite a bit in a various settings. From people in front desks at medical/vet clinics. Or people at stores. Or parking lots. Or at my employment. Or when I’m managing people. I’ve gotten slightly better at putting my foot down and leaving abusive situations.
But, I’m wondering if there is something about my presentation that is giving abusers the impression I’m a target. Sometimes I think people want to attack me because I look “good” and strong and they want to take me down. Or other times, I wonder if I look weak to them somehow.
I just am feeling really upset over this today.

I can't stand the fucking demons. they're abusers and assholes. my whole life the asshole bullies constsantly lied on me. constantly lied to me, about me, for me. all of it was lies. lies lies. lies. lies . lies .lies. i hate those assholes. today was another one of those fucking lies. my eggdonor asked me to clean the microwave. i said 'okay' and went to go clean it. the delusion demon started saying "Why are you being so disrepectful?" I told her I was not b eing disrespectful. nothing was wrong. i didn't do anything. the ugly demon started saying I was being disresepctful that was when my sperm donor got in my face and started yelling on the top of its lungs. "WHY ARE YOU SO DISRESPECTFUL? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?" Then the sperm donor slapped me across the face. My egg donor started yelling "SEE THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T LET HER STAY IN MY HOUSE. WE HAVE TO PUSH HER ON THE STREET."
And this has been my whole life living with those demons. always lying on me. always spreading fucking lies. When I started defneding myself and telling the truth, telling them that there was no problem that I wasn't doing anything, the sperm donor told me to stop talking. to not say anything and go clean the microwave and stop causing problems. I told it that i wasn't causing any prolblems, that I had peacefully agreed to clean the microwave and they started attacking me. That's when the sperm donor started telling me to stop talking and go back to work. When I was crying because of the verbal attack and physical attack my egg donor pulled out its phone and started recording me crying. It started shaming me saying, "Look at this big grown woman crying all because we took her phone away" she said behind the screen.
Evil liars. I will always hate them for nothing else except for all the lies they've tried to convince me of. My entire life they've tried to convince me that I was a bad child, a problem child. Always tried to convince me that i didn't deserve anything. always tried to make it seem as though I was causing the problems. from when I was a young child it was always put on me. the lies. so much was taken from me. a normal childhood. a normal sense of self. i was always a smart kid who excelled in school, a good , nice, polite and gentle kid. My evil cowardace bully parents used my softness as an easy target for abuse. theyve tried their whole life to convince me i was some problem child but the problem is that it's not true to reality.
They never even let me defend myself. even against the most disgusting abuses. I was always suppoised to take it up the ass with a smile. and when it was all done the evil demons would gaslight and say 'nobody has ever done anything to you.'
YOU HAVE DONE NSO MUCH WICKEDNESS TO ME. YOU HAVE DONE SO MUCH EVIL TO ME AND IT WILL NEVER GO UNACKNOWLEDGED. EVERYONE KNOWS. EVERYONE WILL KNOW. IT WILL NEVER GO UNACKNOWLEDGED. I hate the lies.
I will always hate them for the lies. for the late nights stahying up so they could bully and atack me for no fucking reason. screaming and yelling at me while beating me until 1, 2, 3 in the morning on a school night. it's a miracle i still got good grades. they were so selfish too. got angry at me for prioritizing my school work and my extracurriculars like my peers, they yelled at me and told me i should be lucky i have a home to do my homework in the first place. they wanted me to priortize doing housechores over my homework. the crazy part is that i always did my house work. i did everything i was supposed to do. they tarfetted me and abused me for no reason. and then they lied. the bullying and lies all went unacknowedlged. 'nobody no do you nattin.' what losers.
I'm not 'acting out' for no reason fucking bullies. stop bulling me. stop picking on me. stop provoking me like you've done my entire fucking life. youve already taken so much from me. i hate you. i will always hate you for what you've done to me. for gaslighting me my entire life and acting like it wasn't always abuse. i will always hate you for the anger you projected on to me. the neglect and aggression you put on me. for you harvesting my energy for your own wickedness (noticed when I left for college you evil assholes started falling ill, it wasn't until i got back things slowed down). I will always hate you for making me small and making me too scared to ask for anything. always depriving me. always deprving me of things i need. taking away things i need. making me too scated to ask for things i want and need. bragging about provindng the bare minimum. YOU"RE SUPPOSEd TO DO ALL THOSE THINGS> I DONT ASK FOR ANYTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY. wicked monsters. i will always hate you. youre not gonna ruin my life. i hate you.
I will never forgive them for their cruelty towatds me (always speaking negative on me and attacking me for no reason) and their crueilty towards my siblings as well. I hate bullies. I despise abusers.

So, a 7 year old boy named Conner lives in Seattle Washington in the year 3006, he lives with a poor family consisting of his dad, mom, and brother. The mayor, Mr. Gami (the guy in the white suit with an Oni Mask) is testing how Atomic radiation could revolutionize the world. What the people don't know is that he's the leader of an underground crime syndicate mafia who is testing with Atomic Radiation to create new machinery and weapons. Conner is now 13 he lives a happy life until his parents drink some water from the faucet which is irradiated with atomic waste. The next day they're hospitalized, they sadly pass away in the hospital. The thing is that Conner and his bro didn't know what caused their death, all they know is that they died to radiation, so Conner's bro drinks more tap water and dies in the hospital like his parents. Conner is devastated and depressed, he gets fostered in a foster home. He gets adopted at 16 by a wealthy, rich family. He goes to school but most of the time he just skips it. One night he sneaks out of his house, he sees a group of men in hazmat suits causing tiny green explosions in a near by alley way, he proceeds to follow them down the alley into a secret underground area filled with mob bosses, he found out that the Mayor, Mr. Gami is creating Atomic weapons and that he killed Conner's parents. Conner runs out and hides in his house. He has wants to avenge his family so he comes up with the idea to create a suit to take down the crime syndicate. During the night Conner orders a bunch of materials, and does unauthorized tests for creating Atomic radiation in his chemistry class during the night. 2 years later he's now 18 in the year 3017 he finished creating his suit. It has a sword that can be activated to glow a bright green which is the radiation illuminating the sword. He has has miniature less lethal Atomic bombs, normal bombs, and smoke bombs in his belt and shoulder belt. His suit has a black cloth body suit covering him layered with micro fibers of lead, on top of that are titanium plates of armor covering parts of his body, he has steel armor covering his shoulders, forearms, and knees. He has glass with the plastic they use for window shields for his visor. He has a knight head/eyepiece for extra visoeye protection, it also has a toggable thermal vision. He also has grapples under his steel forearm armor. He has a supply of healing serums and venom on his left arm. He puts it on and sits on the rooftop of a tall building while it rains like a badass. He jumps off the roof and slides his sword down the side of the building to slow how fall, he grapples to a group of criminals trying to rob a middle aged woman. He learned about a team of superheroes called the Global Guardians who protected the planet during the 2010's to 2050's They consisted of Red Riot (basically superman but he was enhanced with a serum that enhances him more when near a gem called cyrophite), Girl Goddess (Wonder Woman), Light speed (The Flash), Metal Mercenary (she's in a relationship with light speed), Golden Reaper (Kind of like Moonknight and Wolverine mixed together), and Silver Scarab (basically Blue Beetle). Yet he doesn't seem to know how to be friendly because he decided to beat the criminals into a bloody pulp with his fists like batman. After a few more crime encounters he's learnt to tone the violence down a notch.
I don't have much of the story yet so I'll tell a few other things. Mr. Gami has an ancient Oni spirit protecting him which gives him powers. The girl with red hair is named Clair, she has a curse which gives her powers from hell, she has tenticles that can come out of chest, back, and arms which can be used for anything (they're kind of like symbiotic tenticles from Marvel). She is 15, she usually uses her powers to shoplift because well... she has like no family or friends because they all think she's a freak which is understandable. Whenever she gets mad or feels some sort of negative emotion it gets hard for her to control her powers. She actually met Atomic Knight when he tried stopping her from robbing a convenient store in which she got frustrated, and afraid which led her to go berserk and out of control. AtomicKnight calmed her down by talking her out of it and by buying her food. He's 20 when he meets her. He's a little more like Spider-man and Batman mixed together, Broody, dark and violent like Batman, but young, and cracks jokes depending on who he's fighting. He has like a Joel and Ellie from the last of us type of relation ship (Father and Daughter-ish) but they're mostly just friends.

Hey all, I'm hoping for some advice here from other Al-Anon members who can relate to this. Sorry in advance for the rambling lol... So, my Q has had a long roller coaster like many of Alcoholism, Rehabs, Jail, DV, Sobriety, etc etc etc. In the times when he drank there were a lot of issues including lies, things that in my opinion bordered on infidelity and much more. This is the first time ever he is taking his sobriety seriously. He's currently living outside our home in a sober living, in AA, IOP, Therapy, DV classes, Vivitrol, etc. He's about to hit 60 days and doing very well considering and the best I've seen him as far as really doing the work and making real effort and nice strides. Trying to be hopeful optimistic but I am a realist, so I take it all with a grain of salt while being supportive. ANYWAYS... Q obviously has a group and community growing of other sober friends, who are coed. In the beginning of our relationship I never had any trust issues with him whatsoever. We both have friends of opposite sexes and no problems there. But obviously, when things transpired with infidelities and everything else he did, the trust was completely broken and shattered. I've been in therapy also working on myself and also trying to see if our relationship can be reconciled slowly in time, but it has been unnerving to me at times some of the female "friends" he is making and associates with, one of which who was acting. very inappropriate and flirtatious, even though she's supposedly had a relationship herself. I know women well, I understand men well, I know addicts well. I know what some people are capable of and usually have a good radar for the BS. Obviously, I still don't trust him completely either, so it worries me. I'm trying to be supportive of his sobriety and who he associates with, but in the same respect, there has to be boundaries which he doesn't fully comprehend enough to put in place all the time. He keeps asking me to trust him, and that nothing inappropriate is going on or will ever but I don't know what to believe anymore. I'm kind of wondering how to navigate this as far as allowing him to have these relationships with people of the opposite sex or should I be putting down harder boundaries about who he befriends right now? He gets a little defensive at times that he should be trusted and allowed to have whomever as friends, but at this point in this situation I don't entirely agree. When trust rebuilds, naturally that would change. I just don't know how to navigate all this, but I don't want to mess with his sobriety and the work he's doing, but I also need that respect based on where we are at currently in rebuilding, if that makes sense. So any of you have any advice on how you deal with these new coed friendships? Because obviously these are people that I know might become good friends in time, but reality is, he doesn't know any of them very well at all just yet. So it's a little hard to kind of wrap my head around sometimes the conviction he has in having some of these friends when he doesn't even know them. But I also know that having a support network in sobriety is very important. I understand both sides of it, but I'm trying to do what's right while also protecting myself, my sanity and well being. Anyways, I hope this all makes sense and any and all advice is appreciated; thank you!! :)

One big problem I see is everybody wants to put a category on people okay nobody cares nobody cares if you're a man if you're a woman if you think you're something else. Whatever you think you are do whatever the hell you want okay it's okay you just have to realize that if you accept it and you're a group of people around you that are interested in the same things as you accepted and that's all that matters. Don't try to shove whatever you do or whatever you like to do or whatever you approve as okay down some other assholes throat. It's that simple of people just know how to shut up and do whatever they want to do there's no freaking problems. Does everybody like to play basketball no does everybody like to play football no they really like to play soccer no does everybody like to ride Motocross no does everybody like the ice skate no deserve it like a dildo in their ass no is everybody like fist in their ass no does everybody like to have whipped cream looked out of their ball no but there's people that do in a few that's what you want to do good for you man the more power to you person whatever you want to call yourself you can call yourself the balloon for all to know okay let's just say we're going to see, let's just say we're going to see do you want a balloon and then that's all you need to do man stop expecting other people to care about what you do it's the most important thing is we don't need to care we don't want to care and if you think we should care that's your fault bottom line. Okay so now that we understand that every single person has their own mind that they want to make up they're going to make up what they like what they don't like what they think is cool what they don't think is cool with the except what they don't accept too f****** bad nobody cares what you like I care what I like that's it so please we can end this whole thing with simply understanding that there's going to be a group of people that like this and it's going to be a group of people that like that that's the bottom line now everybody if you can please shut up okay. Go shop at the dildo in my ass store and then the other people will go shop at the football in my hand store and then the other people are going to go shop at the I like to drive Motocross stores and then there's going to be the other people that like to go ice skating stores so on and so forth so if we realize that whatever you want to do is you and just shut up shut the hell up do you think okay thank you very much have a nice day

I (82m) started dating my girlfriend (97f) 60 years ago. It's more like a fwb kinda thing than a committed relationship which I was very clear with her about when we started dating. It's just easier to call her my girlfriend because my parents (129f) and (100m) are very old fashioned and don't understand the hip ways of today's youth.
Anyway, about a year ago, I was away on a work trip to a far off country for many many months and it made me a very wealthy man. I don't wanna get too deep into the details, but suffice to say I develop breakfast cereals that suppress sexual urges in men. So my girlfriend and I are very comfortable, and she can stay at home and shop and do her nails or play with her coloring books or whatever it is women do when there isn't a man around. When I returned to our lavish mansion in our country, I was shocked to discover that my wife had given birth to our son. I was only gone for 8 months, so it's very plausible this was my son. The thought did not cross my mind at all that she was definitely a cheating, money-grubbing whore, not even a little bit. I just got right away to raising my son.
Now some of my family members have commented on how strange this situation is and how he looks nothing like me. They say things like, "his eye color is totally different!" or "he has whiskers and fur!" and "oh my god Davidiel, this is a fucking hamster!"
After a while these comments made me slightly suspicious he may not be my biological son. So while my girlfriend was off screeching and clucking with her gaggle of female friends (like women do) I had a paternity test done. The results came back within seconds. I am not the father.
I was stunned. How could my girlfriend, who I have no emotional attachment to, do this to me? How could she shatter the sanctity of our no-strings-attached, live-together, hanky-panky fun party?
So I confronted her about this. At first, her sniveling, scheming womanly instincts caused her to deny it. But when I showed her the paternity test, she broke down in tears. Through her sobs, she explained how lonely she had been while I took my work trip. How she sought refuge in the arms of our local Petco salesman. And that was how our son was brought home. She begged me not to abandon them, as it was a stupid mistake that she regrets, and she can barely afford the wood shavings and exercise wheels on her own.
Now I know she wronged me. But I am a fair man. So while she wept, I very calmly lifted her body over my head and cast her off the 8th story balcony of my mansion, along with her son. As he is not mine, all attachment and concern for his well-being immediately dissolved.
Now my phone is blowing up with everyone, including the CEO of Petco, calling me TA. I don't think I should have to raise a child that isn't mine. I'm just an innocent young man, seduced by the forked-tongue succubus that is today's thot until my wallet is drained. But I figured I had to ask. So...reddit...could I possibly be TA?
https://www.reddit.com/AITAH/comments/1db789l/aita_for_wanting_to_cancel_my_parental_rights/

blanket party is a term used in the military where fellow soldiers gang up on you to teach you a a lesson after you made a decision which may put the entire detachment in a bad place
Context: Cadia is blowing up after abadddon lobbed the blackstone fortress into it. Lord Castellan Creed predicted they might lose cadia so he developed a failsafe for survivors to evacuate the planet.
Hellskar is a colonel in charge of the unit which have received orders to evacuate the planet
Daverna is an that inquisitor didn’t allow evacuation n fear of demonic contamination
Are you Hellsker? Are you in charge here?’ ‘Yes, sir, Colonel Hel…’The needle pistol was big in her vision. A long, wicked barrel. ‘Call it off.’ ‘What? Call what off?’ ‘The embarkation. Get on your frekking vox and tell the pilots to come out. This is an illegal operation.’ ‘I’m working under the authority of the Lord Castell–’ ‘I know whose authority you’re working under.’ The woman grabbed her by the flak vest and pulled her close, the needle pistol jamming into her unprotected throat. Her captor was huge, with broad shoulders, and clad in a tailored officer’s coat. ‘Inquisitor Daverna of high command. And I know all about you, Major Hellsker. How Creed favoured you, how he bribed you into this illegal action with a rank elevation. Call the pilots out. Tell them no lift.’ ‘These troopers have fought hard, they deserve–’ ‘These troopers will start developing signs of mutation within a month. Two months, and they’ll be vessels for Neverborn or defecting to the Despoiler. Were you at Tyrok?
After daverna shot an injured soldier, Hellskar decided to pretend she was using her vox to call her men off after it seems they might shoot the inquisitor
“Daverna swung the pistol back to Hellsker. ‘If your people try anything…’ ‘Stay back!’ yelled Hellsker, her hands raised. ‘Inquisitor, I’m going to key my micro-bead and tell them to stay back, all right?’ She slowly, deliberately, changed frequencies to wide-band. ‘Everyone, stay back,’ she warned, then knelt in front of the pistol. ‘Even you, Zadoc, listen up.’ ‘Tell them to send the pilots out.’ ‘Yes, I will. But you should get low, inquisitor.’ ‘What?’“‘It’s dangerous here. Active combat. Archenemy snipers in the zone. You could get hurt. We’ve lost two officers already. It would be a very natural thing to occur.’ ‘What the hells are you talking about? Get the pilots and–’ Talia Daverna’s head exploded. A hotshot round at long range, flashing out from somewhere near the front line. She toppled between the corpses of Pesk and Arun Lek, her body unrecognisable. ‘Plyn?’ ‘Yes, colonel?’ ‘The inquisitor has been killed by a heretic sharpshooter.’ ‘Tragic. Should’ve kept low, sir, like you said.’ ‘Make a sweep for the assassin before you get on the transport, will you? He’s a good shot, might be dangerous.’”
I think this excerpt really shows that Rath did some research into some common things that happen off the books in the army.
Some other examples of this aside from this excerpt are the characters of glave and Selvar Ghent. in my country’s army, we do have characters like ghent especially when we are posted into foreign countries where you didn’t know the local language most times and the good shops that might serve foreign soldiers .I know I bought dental floss and a small listerine mouthwash for about $10 a few days into the forward base exercise to get rid of the sandy taste in my mouth after sleeping out in the field. Glaves story was also relatable as it shows the enthusiasm of every recruit when they first join up or enlist
All in all while the novel wasn’t perfect (might make a post on this to try to get some insights). I thought it was well written and as somebody who used to serve in the army I found the book relatable and can see how Rath tries to make the story as close to real life minus the Sci-fi and chaos parts to real life army parallels to make it more interesting and more human.

I (27F) have been with my partner (31M) for about 3 years. We moved in together after about 6 months, and now have 2 children under 2. At the beginning of our relationship, we explicitly made it clear that pornographic content of any kind is prohibited and we established an open phone policy if we were to be in a committed relationship, otherwise we could just continue to be a tinder hookup if we want to entertain ourselves with that. (No judgement towards others who permit that in their relationship - this is simply a condition of ours.) I’ll skip unnecessary details, but to sum things up, there were occasional flairs of issues between him and a previous girlfriend that he was possessive and obsessive of, however that died down after I encouraged him to make the decision of pursuing life with that ex or continuing with me, and he begged to stay. Fast forward, we fall pregnant with our first child and all is good, we’re both working full time, 50/50 on bills and I did 90% of the housework and shopping/errands. Bare in mind I had a high risk pregnancy, along with sciatica and was in a lot of pain, and we still had sex nearly every day because he basically claims that he needs it. When I was 8 months pregnant, I was using his phone to search reference photos for a painting I was working on. While opening his google, I found several pages of his opened search pages - of course being porn sites and links to inappropriate photos. After putting 2 and 2 together, I realized that day he specifically begged me to leave the house for a bit to get him Mexican food and when I had to call him from the taqueria to relay a text from his mom, he suddenly didn’t answer for once. Things as far as pathetic searches for “woman in tiny bikini that barely covers breasts” , and that’s when I found myself disgusted that I settled for a man that is so lowly desperate enough to make searches that equivalent to that of a 16 year old boy. After confronting him, he denied everything for nearly 20 minutes, even with the evidence right out in his face and his search history showing months of this behavior. After gaslighting me and trying to manipulate the situation and trying to turn it around on me saying he doesn’t know how those got there and he never searched those, he finally reluctantly admitted he was guilty. So he intentionally sent me out of the house so he could watch porn, and to make matters worse, he did it with our newborn in his baby chair right in front of him, apparently while he was sleeping. I was beyond disgusted with him and ready to kick him out of my apartment and deliver and raise this baby on my own even though I didn’t have any family or friends to help. After hours of him crying and begging for another chance, he specifically promised he would not be entertaining himself with pornographic content again nor do anything to risk losing his family. So with that, I stayed, we had the baby, we got engaged, things seemed fine. After a few months, we decided to deliberately try for a second baby and we moved a couple hours away into our first home and I agreed to be a SAHM and raise our baby. The day we moved, I had to use his phone for an internet search and AGAIN found porn all over his open pages. I immediately took my son and left for a week before having to come home due to limited resources. We sat and talked for nearly 6 hours, he cried to be and profusely apologized and again begged me to stay with him for our family and that he would never do anything to risk losing our family. I stayed, and we found out suddenly we were pregnant again. Surprise, timing. Time moves along, things seem fine, I have another high risk pregnancy but baby is born fine. The first few months with both kids were a struggle but we make it through. Second baby is about 4 months old when my phone broke so I needed to use my laptop for communication. I logged in to YouTube on there and was going through history to find the song my son wanted to listen to - and that’s when all the history of inappropriate dancing videos of women came up from YouTube videos to YouTube shorts. I was in complete shock. Per the history, he even had the audacity to watch a first video that explains how women partners sacrifice everything for their male partners, just for men to disregard them. Then following were practically naked women or sexualized women performing in appropriate acts or dances. Now these are the kind of videos people normally make fun of their friends about for watching because they are desperate thirst traps, and I’m just amazed that my partner is not the person I thought he was all along. It genuinely disgusts me that my main focus is my partner and children and his focus is on anything that has any sexual appeal. I find myself lost and confused on how someone can be so immature that they cannot separate the boundary of entertainment and obsession, and that the family they have created will never be enough to fill what they want or need. I asked him about the history and he denied it for 10 minutes before I showed him the evidence. He continued to deny it for almost an hour. After several hours of back and forth arguing and him lying to my face, he was provided the evidence and came clean - admitted he intentionally leaves me with both crying kids when they’re being difficult and he pretends to poop or takes extra long bathroom trips so he can watch videos of provocative women on YouTube and watch porn because he is anxious and needs relief, and that he intentionally sends me out to the store or on errand trips so he can watch porn at home. He allows me to go through the rest of his phone, and of course I find things everywhere from google to Temu - and again I’m shocked that my partner is so desperate and unhinged that he has to look at women in crotchless tights on Temu. We argue back and forth about honesty and transparency and intentions and he has the nerve to keep arguing that it’s to relieve anxiety and stress and asks me what he should do and asked what I do… I said “what other people do for anxiety - see a therapist and take anti-anxiety meds or just deal with it.” He was too stunned to speak. At this point I advocate for myself and the children and explain that I cannot subject myself to a partner like this and do not believe the children need a role model like this. He even agreed to sign over custody of both kids to me just to settle it, which now I’m seeing through his actions prove he doesn’t want to be a father or a partner despite saying he does. Since then, I’ve agreed to co-parent and continue living together for the children since we cannot afford child care, he is not working and we are living off the last of my savings and I cannot trust him to stay alone with the children. We share the same bed, although I sleep in the opposite direction due to wanting my own space. We still hook up occasionally since I have the IUD and it’s convenient, however we do not have any other intimacy such as hand holding or kissing. I cut that off early/mid April, both took off rings during the last fight about porn and have just been raising the kids as is. He supposedly has not watching any pornographic content since, but at this point it’s like I’m waiting around for the relapse in behavior. I don’t enjoy feeling like I put my full commitment into someone, for them to give me a partial percentage and lie in my face and continuously risk losing their children. If I can stop vaping because I was pregnant, a man should be able to stop watching inappropriate content if he wants to stay with his partner and children. I’m at the point where I don’t want us to be with anyone else because I love him and wanted us to live our lives out together, but respectfully without being a “Debby downer” it feels like life this way will continue this nasty cycle and I’ll keep disappointing myself with putting trust in him over and over. He swears up and down he wants to be with me and it just doesn’t feel his actions add up to that.
Please tell me anything - your advice, your feelings and thoughts, your recommendations, anything you have to say. Trolls, haters and negative comments - bring it on, I have a hateful heart too and would love your difference of opinion without needing to argue 🖤 Thank you!

My heart doesn’t feel so heavy anymore, P. You did it. You figured out the magic words.
They were the words I needed to hear. I didn’t even know there were words that could do it. All I knew was the ache inside my chest, that now finally feels a little better.
I know how difficult that must have been. I will never ask you to say it again. I promise.
Jesus Christ. Thank you, Baby.
I am actually thanking you, and not the ancient Jewish carpenter. Just to be clear!
I don’t hate you. How could I possibly? Not even if I wanted to.
…And I HAVE occasionally, really, really fucking wanted to….
It is a fool’s errand.
It was the logical choice to make.
As much as I fucking hate admitting that, it was. I just never imagined there’d be competition for your heart, as profoundly arrogant as that sounds.
You don’t have any for mine.
I had so much faith in us, because what we shared was so….there isn’t a noun fuck. Adjective. Adjective!
Dyslexia is so romantic! FML. So smooth.
that could do it justice.
It was so beyond the sane and familiar, it couldn’t have been real, right? No reasonable adult would have made a different choice.
Not in the sensible, real, grown up world. Where we live.
Unfortunately.
I was just so unprepared for the shock and pain of losing you. It was so fucking unbearable. It was an equally powerful sensation to my love for you, and it nearly fucking did me in.
My heart has never been so broken. It was somehow oddly easier, when I thought yours wasn’t also broken. When I thought you must barely remember me.
I could just sit around, blaming myself. Easy. I can do that in my sleep.
I don’t want you to worry about me, OK? If you’re thinking about me at all, I’d rather you think about a fun activity we would both thoroughly enjoy. I do that at least once a day :)
I’m going to be fine, and so will Kiddo. I’m strong, and I have good people around me. I’m gonna kick arse so hard, it be upside down and inside out by the time I’m finished. It’s what I’m good at. I’m good in a scrap, for better or worse.
I know you didn’t ask, but I should say that I’m not going to wait around for you. That would be insane.
And as we know, what we have is insane, but I am not insane!
^{Not quite.}
BUT
^{YAY, BUT STUFF!}
😉
Bass is about to drop, so pay attention.
On that day,
I better fucking be the very first thought you have.
My name better fucking be the first groggy utterance to escape your lips.
My number better be the first fucking number you dial.
The first fucking fucking everything. Got it?
No rebounds.
No One Night Stands.
Don’t you fucking so much as sniff another woman (or man, NB or otherwise identifying human being).
^{You know, I am actually a pretty decent lawyer.}
Don’t you fucking dare.
I have right of first refusal on your mind, body and soul.
No exceptions.
I’m only kidding.
That was a test. I’m fucking not kidding.
Fuck your inalienable human rights. I don’t recognise them.
I’m being deadly fucking serious.
The moment you rise from the ashes of your former existence, with the capacity to face the outside world.
From that precise moment, my love. You are travelling.
In a straight line. As the crow flies.
I am your singular destination. You don’t stop over to visit home. You don’t pass GO.
You get on the earliest available, most fucking direct flight here, and you show up on my fucking doorstep to hear my answer.
That’s only like…mildly-medium crazy….ish. Right ?
Eh. I don’t fucking care. In this one circumstance, if it occurs. You will let me boss you around.
If you show up for me, Gorgeous….we’ll be square :)
I think that’s fair. We can both live with that.
My God. I say the most batshit insane shit to you. How is it possible that you could still love me?
I’m going to keep this account, but I will REALLY try not to write to you.
I don’t know if it is right to do it anymore. It probably isn’t helping either of us.
I will almost certainly fall off the wagon, sometimes. I’ll try my best not to do it too often. I hope you can forgive me when I do.
In the meantime, we can just watch each other feed the trolls and admire each other’s cats. I’ll have one soon. Batcat. Kiddo chose it.
Well, then….. It’s about time to sign off.
Until my next Rum and Coke too many, my love. Take good care of my heart, you gorgeous and remorseless fucking thief :)
❤️

First of all sorry for my English.
I just saw a post on twitter from a lady complaining about the amount harassment she gets while gaming just for being a woman. I know it had been an issue and I have seen few clips of it in past decades but I'm just surprised to see it's an ongoing issue. I don't play multiplayer games so I really don't know what it's like there but it's just really hard to imagine that many grown men acting like that.

My MIL is visiting and we sort of got in an argument where she said I wouldn't understand something (that she had no idea whether or not I would understand it, and in an odd coincidence I kinda actually know a lot about), then said to me in the conversation, "not to sound rude but that's just stupid" and then when I finally convinced her I actually knew quite a bit about it, she stormed outside with my hubby and then kinda ranted about how I'm a "know it all" not realizing the windows were open. So fucking weird to have to deal with a 65 year old adult woman acting like a child when proven wrong.
She's often super inflammatory/judgemental/talks meanly about people behind their back, and this is about par for the course but I'm always just so shocked when it happens that I never know what to say and usually say nothing until it gets me really riled up and then I say something inflammatory back to her. Not great. I'm neurodivergent and have a problem with black and white thinking when something is unfaifeels like someone is being bullied.
When we visited her for Christmas she didn't tell us until the day before we flew out that she tested positive for covid, so we had to last-minute change to staying at a sibling's house. I have respiratory issues so I said in no uncertain terms would I do any activities with her while still testing positive. Everyone agreed that would be best (because of also pregnant women and preemie babies present) but she called my husband and his siblings saying things like no one cared/asked her if she was okay and they were trying to push her out/exclude her, etc. until they all relented on the no activities.
And I actually had requested that she not visit our house if she was going to bring her puppy because we have a senior dog who has medical issues and is frankly getting pretty grumpy and I guess she just wore down my husband because she's visiting for SIX DAYS with her dog. So he and siblings are all basically very passive when it comes to her and she's allowed to do or say anything and rarely gets called on it because it's 'easier to keep the peace'.
So I'm already stressed and feel awful, and when she implied I wouldn't understand something I kinda reacted with her same energy. Again, not the best response, but dear god I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. I obviously don't want to create a rift between her and her son, but I feel like if I don't say something to her now I might not get the opportunity in a slightly more clear-headed space. I guess I'm just looking for advice on if I should, and if so, does anyone have any recommendations for phrasing/tactics?
*Side note, she did get in a major car accident a few years ago which caused some brain trauma, so this may be a side effect of it (I didn't meet her until after), but it really is disheartening for me :(

I see all the time this advice: "Don't go to with the goal to meet men/women, go there to have fun!" But to me, this advice seems flawed because those locations are not places that I'd enjoy going to have fun? And when I go somewhere to have fun, I tend to keep to myself or stay within my friend group as meeting new people isn't the purpose of why we go out and I don't want to bother people.
On the other hand, I went to a speed dating event and I was more relaxed and even had fun while meeting the women there. Maybe it's because the purpose of why everyone was there was to meet new people? As OLD is just absolutely useless and speed dating events are quite scarce where I live, I find myself puzzled as what I should do if I'm not supposed to go out with the intention of meeting women but I don't find myself predisposed to meet people when that's not my objective?
TL:DR I find it easier to meet people when it's the reason why we're here than when it's not the purpose of why we're here. I don't know what to do about that.

I’ve posted here before using a different account, met awesome people, and had dates in 2023. Then it hit me, is this all there is?
I know it’s a long shot, but I’ll try anyway. I’m looking for a serious relationship in 2024 and beyond. No casual flings, online chatting, constant phone calls, or just food and travel buddies.
If you’re a MALE, tired of the same cycle of heartbreak and looking for something serious, then you’re the one I’m looking for.
About me: - I'm 21, 5'1", medium build, well-educated, raised well by my parents, and a student. - I can hold a good conversation on any topic, as long as you’re not responding with one-liners. - UAAP school - I'm a closet nerd (kinda?) who plays badminton, mobile games (used to), is good at billiards (8 ball), but terrible at bowling. - I'm well-dressed, smell good, and generous. - I’m not a K-pop star or a model, just an average woman you’d pass on your way to work.
About you: - I prefer someone older, between 21 and 27, because I believe men in this age range tend to be more stable in all aspects. - Someone who is 5'6" or taller—athletic is a plus. At least be someone who have a strong appeal (I want attractive kids if it comes to that). - You should have good hygiene, dress well, and be either employed or studying. - You should be smart and funny, tired of the cycle of looking for handsome guys who end up being players. If you’re ready to break the mold and give true love a chance, I’m all about you. - Manila area, and not a foreigner.
Potential date ideas:
A. Beat the Heat Daytime Hangout: How about lunch followed by a movie?
B. Unleash Your Competitive Side Hangout: Let's hit up an arcade, play badminton, or walll-climbing, then grab coffee or dinner afterward.
C. Alone Together Hangout: Wanna browse books together or just watch some movies?
D. Errands run: Groceries, clothes shopping, bank visits, or other adult tasks.
Please send your introduction if you meet the criteria. This is not a hookup post, and not a one-time date post.

This is going to be a long post. I suggest anyone who wants to give me advice should set aside some time to read this complicated situation.
I will add my family's race because it is relevant to the situation.
My family and I are Asian.
My Boyfriend's parents are conservative Americans in the way that they want Boyfriend to be the sole earner for his future family, but I would still have the freedom to work or become a housewife. A few weeks ago, my Boyfriend has told me that his mother has been making joke disguised hints about wanting grandkids from him. Today, he has told me that his parents are urging him to propose to me soon, in around 2 months.
My Boyfriend recently has been telling me how his parents has been wanting grandkids soon, but I did not expect that they wanted it THAT soon. I really respect his parents and they consider me family. As much as I want to please them, my Boyfriend and I both agree that we are not yet ready for marriage for reasons I will detail later in the post. My initial reaction was surprised, and we went into a detailed discussion after that.

1. The reason behind the suggestion of proposal.

My Boyfriend has told me that each of his parents both want for him to get married and start a family with me soon, but they both have different reasons behind it.
My Boyfriend has half-siblings from his father's first marriage. Boyfriend is the only child of his father's second wife, and the youngest out of his siblings. The age gap between him and the youngest half-sibling is almost 10 years.
His father is on borrowed time, as he was diagnosed with an illness relating to his nerves. He has expressed that he would like to see my Boyfriend get married and have a grandchild before he passes away. Boyfriend's grandfather died before meeting the youngest half-sibling, and Boyfriend's father wishes for that situation to not happen to him before he dies.
His mother's reason is simpler. Boyfriend was his mother's only child, and misses having a child present in her life. He has summed it up as her being ready to become a loving and involved grandparent.

1. The problems behind the suggestion and our reaction.

Boyfriend and I both live with our parents. Me living with my parents is more of the woman living with family until they are married and for financial reasons, while Boyfriend's living situation is just for financial reasons.
We had a tough time midway in our traditional college education and got delayed. However, we got back up and we are working towards a different path in education. We are now both currently working in jobs that don't pay enough to live on our own while we attend college in different degrees that would eventually get us high paying jobs in the oil industry. This will take the both of us at least a year before we can start making serious money.
The problem is that we both don't have a stable career at the moment, and it will take us at least a year to start making the kind of money enough to support us until retirement.
This is a problem both of us have brought up in the discussion and agree this is the main obstacle to what his parents are asking.
His parents proposing for us to get married and have kids involves money and living space both of us don't have yet. From what boyfriend has told me, they have proposed solutions to these problems, but he believes them to be not as well thought out as they have given him a barebones version of their so-far solution.
Their solution to marriage costs is to have a backyard wedding ceremony, with each family's wedding invite being a dish for everyone to eat. To be fair, they do have a very large and nice backyard, and I have no problem with backyard weddings if done very nicely.
Their solution to the living situation/kids is to have me move into their house. Boyfriend's parents have explained that they are willing to cover housing, living, and grandkids cost, to only worry about working/education so that we can save and earn as much money as possible.

1. My reaction and my family's possible reaction.

Right now, my family knows nothing about this situation. Only me. This happened just today during an outing. The only family members I will allow on being involved in this situation to support me are my parents (47F/51M). I have a younger brother (22M), and my guess is that he would be as clueless as I am in how to navigate this. I'm not expecting much from him in this situation anyways, but I know he will be there for me when I want to let anything out to vent and seek his opinion on.
As stated in point 2, in my culture, daughters live with their family until we are married. My parents also believe that an unmarried woman should never visit a man's house/family house as they think it is improper for a woman to do so. Contrarily, they don't think it is improper for a man to visit a woman's house/family house. The point is that they have conservative views on relationships and marriage regarding me, the only daughter. For those wondering, no they do not hold these same views with my brothers.
Based on this information and point 2, I believe my parents would be against the suggestion of me getting married and moving out of the house at this point of my life. Especially my father, as he has told me in occasion on how worried he is about living life away from family and would decide if I am ready to start life away from the family or not.
Personally, I also believe that I am not ready for marriage, but from a financial standpoint. I always ask myself if my finances can support any decision I would make. In this case, no. My current job isn't enough to fund a wedding or support a child. I know his parents are the one insisting on covering all living expenses, but it would make me and my boyfriend uncomfortable for them to do that in fear of strings being attached to it and feeling ashamed in not being able to provide all of this ourselves.

1. Did I give the "correct" response to how this situation with his parents should be handled?

At the end of the discussion, I told my boyfriend to let his parents have a discussion with my parents. This is a situation that involves differing beliefs between 2 families. I believe that it warrants a discussion between my Boyfriend, I, and both sets of our parents so that there is no conflict. Boyfriend has expressed that he is unsure if this discussion would change as his father's mind, as he has told me that he is a stubborn person. He is as unsure as I am in how the whole situation would turn out.
Was this the correct move on my part? This was my initial response at the beginning of the conversation, and still is after going into a long discussion. Please feel free to share me your perspective on this situation and your advice.
I will be updating this situation in the future for further advice since; to be honest, I have no clue whether what I do next would be the most "correct" action to this situation. I would like non-biased guidance along the way. Thank you for your time.

I (m19) made the adult decision to marry my wife (f20) about 7 months after graduating high school. We have been through a lot together, living together since I was 17 and traveling the world immediately after graduating (8 countries). I married her because I knew she was the love of my life, showing me things that no other woman could ever fathom possessing. Also, because I knew I planned on joining the military and she could also receive American residency. Those were just a plus. Young and naive, we also faced a lot of challenges; arguing more often than not about stupid things. I also had some mental health issues from my past and trauma that would infect my emotions and cause me to be mean or have an "idgaf" attitude, something I am still trying to work on. She was the sweetest most innocent thing when we met and since then I have showed her a side of a man, or should I say boy, that she's never seen before (growing up in a culture of submissive men). On the contrary, she also grew up being very independent and would try to do everything on her own, not letting me help then would complain about how I don't help her stress (which wasn't true). I wasn't perfect, but I learned and understood that we were young and imperfect and accepted the things she did often that I didn't like, but she was always nitpicking and complaining about how I don't do this or that (things as simple as falling asleep on the couch instead of the bed). Ultimately, in April we had a bad argument, she was usually the one threatening our relationship that she couldn't take it anymore, etc but I never wanted to give up. But the last time, the tables turned and you couldn't have convinced me to be with her otherwise, I was done. In this light, other than being bound by a legal document, for 3 months of being separated I felt and acted single, wanting nothing to do with her. I ended up texting women, nothing more, before I realized that nobody was her and I just wanted to fix what was lost. I ended up getting caught up as she found out about what I had done, now the cards are against me, labeled as a cheater, disloyal, how I never did anything to make her life easier (which again I did the best I could with what I was given, young and dumb) which I totally understand, my behavior was unjustifiable but I was at my wits end and was tired of feeling unneeded, useless, not good enough, etc. However, I want it to work more than anything, I can't imagine living my life with anyone else, anyone raising my children, etc. I plan on joining the marines this month, strengthening my relationship with God, and letting them both destroy and remold me to be the man I want to be and should be in hopes for salvation of my marriage. My question is, how will she make my life easier and better? We were both independent so it wasn't like I was getting any help, but other than being a beautiful woman with a lot of promise for her future, what will I gain in means of support mentally, physically, emotionally, etc. is this a man leads, woman follows type of situation, or am I being too naive? Either way I know it's a gamble worth taking and I wouldn't want it any other way, however I am kind of at a loss being framed as someone I'm not as if I was the only problem. I don't know if I'm just thinking too much or what.
I am a young man lost and don't have anyone else to talk to. I appreciate in advance any concerns, responses, and advice anyone has to offer.

Honestly, I try so hard to educate everybody around me.
I love to tell people about LGBT identities, debunk anti trans myths. I would say that I have brought my father so far but with two exceptions

1. He does not believe Trans women should compete in women's sports. Yes, I know even among LGBT-friendly circles it's a contentious topic, but it is a hill I will die on. I have introduced almost every bit of data, and every argument I could find, yet he won't ever completely flip over. It always boils down to: "But Trans women have larger frames!"
   
2. Although he weirdly enough will respect trans people's pronouns and call Trans women, women. He still insists: "Oh Trans women are biological males" and no matter how hard I explain, it all just boils down to: You are either born intersex, have a penis, or a vagina.
   

I just feel so disappointed, overall. I have spent years and countless man-hours trying to educate my father and others. Otherwise, he is really supportive. He is fine with Trans people existing and doing what they want to. He doesn't think LGBT people are "Groomers." He supports gay people being able to adopt and marry. He does not think it is gay for a straight man to marry a trans woman. He is fine with bisexual people being the way they are and doesn't believe in any harmful myths about them. Heck, he is even fine with enby people. Even though he seems to have zero understanding of them. When I came out as Aro-Ace and told my Dad I might want a QPR one day, he was very supportive and unusually very understanding.
I'm just not sure what to do or how I feel. On one hand, I just want to say: "I've fought hard enough the past few years, you can't win over everybody on everything." On the other hand, I want to say: "No, my work is not done until I win the absolute support of my father."
I honestly want advice more than anything. What do I do, keep trying to persuade my father, or just leave it be?

I expected to have this posted very soon after my trip, but time got away from me! Even the prospect of writing this out is kind of daunting lol so props to all of you who post your trip reports (and I greedily read every word!). Whenever people say stuff like “this is so long, I don’t expect anyone to read this!” I’m always like “of course I’m going to read every word and love it!” But now I am the one telling you guys, this is very long and I can’t imagine who out there is going to read this lol
Thursday 5/16 - Travel Day
Flew to Naples where my friend lives. Plan was to stay two nights with her before we headed to Orlando for one “girls night” before my solo trip began.
Saturday 5/18 - Travel to Disney!
Left at 6:30am to drive to Orlando. It was her and her two girls (age 11 and 5). We had reservations for one night at Beach Club. We bounded as princesses (Tiana, Ariel, Aurora, Jasmine). We walked to Epcot at 11:30am and that short walk was INCREDIBLE. I can’t believe how close the park is!!! Beach Club is amazing for location alone! Here are the things we ate and experienced:
~~Toasted Pretzel Bread (Germany): 20/10 This was absolutely delicious and over the course of the week I think I ate it like 5-6 times lol
~~Raspberry Radler (Germany): same as above, LOVED
~~Harvested a Pearl (Japan): This was seriously THE BEST experience! We all got them put in necklaces. One of her daughters got a gray/blue pearl and it was gorgeous. Lots of attention when she showed mine bc it looked big and she kept moving it up the sizing plate. I ended up with an 8.5mm pearl! It was very exciting and lots of celebration by the workers and crowd. They said it was the largest of the day. Honestly, I recommend this to ANYONE. It was less expensive than I expected, $29 to harvest the pearl, then I think I spent $23 on a cage for it, and I chose to buy a necklace for it to wear right away and that was $26. I am 100% doing it again in September when I go back for my 40th birthday (and I told my hubby he is doing it too and will love it!)
~~Lemon Drop Shandy (The Citrus Blossom): 7/10 good! nothing exceptional, I liked the radler better
~~Cinnamon Roll Bites (Brunchcot): 6/10, I was so excited for these but they were just average. I think maybe if we had a batch that had more frosting it might have been better. They weren’t bad, just not outstanding. Loved the bacon crumbles though!
~~Guardians of the Galaxy: the only reason this is making it into the notes is bc of my Reliefband. I get motion sickness. I tried Guardians last fall (after 2 dramamine) and still had to sit for about an hour afterward to chill and not be sick. I decided to purchase a Reliefband (classic version, Amazon, $129) to try out this trip and see if it would work. I was very skeptical. But I am here to say it worked 1000000000%. I was so blown away. Absolutely ZERO feelings of motion sickness during or after the ride. Kept my eyes open the whole time (it’s the visual speed that usually gets me, screen rides get me too). I am not a big thrill ride person, so incidentally this time around I realized this isn’t the ride for me. I just don’t enjoy it that much, BUT the big deal is to find out that is my ride preference and has nothing to do with motion sickness. It was so liberating not having my motion sickness control me! Ooooo, also, I was absolutely ecstatic that I got the song I’ve always wanted!! Everybody Wants to Rule the World!
We left Epcot at 4pm and went back to the resort to check in. First of all, it’s so gorgeous there. The room was wonderful, the lobby is beautiful and smells amazing. I wish we had the money to always stay deluxe bc I get why people love deluxe resorts so much!
Dinner at Ale & Compass (Yacht Club): 7/10, again, food was decent but nothing exceptional. Actually the Parker House Rolls were 1000% worth the hype, I got the NY Strip Steak though, asked for medium rare and I think it was more medium and that ruined it a bit for me (also taste was just meh)
We spent about an hour and half swimming at Stormalong Bay after dinner. That pool is seriously incredible. I never want to experience anything but a sand bottom pool again. The. Absolute. Best.
18,525 steps
Sunday 5/19 - Girls Leave and Solo Begins
We checked out and then had a Beaches and Cream reservation at 11:30am. We shared the Bacon Ranch Totchos (7/10 tasty but too much topping for me), Grilled Cheese and Tomato Soup (grilled cheese 9/10, tomato soup 6/10), aaaaand the Kitchen Sink Sundae (9/10)! Was it smart for us to get this with only two adult women and two children? Probably not. But boy was it fun and delicious and we put way more of a dent in it than I thought we would lol. A little siren goes off in the restaurant when one is brought to a table and there is a back and forth with kitchen staff and customers (they say something about a “whole can of whipped cream” and customers answer back as a group) and it was a very fun vibe! In fact that is one of the reasons I rate it a 9/10 haha, bc I think there is just too much whipped cream and a lot of the ice cream is just buried.
We swam at Stormalong bay for 2 more hours before they dropped me off at All-Star Movies and they headed home to Naples.
Magic Kingdom (solo)
I got into my room at All-Star Movies (Love Bug building 6) and tbh I didn’t mind its distance to the bus stop, maybe bc it was just me, but I didn’t have a problem with it, I thought the walk was quick enough. I was in Magic Kingdom by 5:30pm.
6pm PeopleMover (walk on) 5 min posted
6:30pm Pirates of the Caribbean (walk on) 10 min posted
6:45pm Thunder Mountain (10 min) 15 min posted
7:10pm Enchanted Tiki Room (10 min) 15 min posted
7:40pm Haunted Mansion (20 min) 20 min posted
8:25pm Got the Sweet and Spicy Chicken Waffle sandwich at Sleepy Hollow: 7/10, the taste was great, I don’t like spicy stuff but this wasn’t too spicy. The only con is that the bottom of the waffle was kind of soggy and I didn’t really eat that part.
8:55pm in spot for HEA
9:40pm Peter Pan’s Flight (25 min) 10 min posted
Spent a lot of time in gift shops and doing photopass on my way out of park
11:10pm On bus back to resort
19,626 steps
Monday 5/20 - Animal Kingdom
6:45am On the bus to AK
7:22am Scanned into the park
7:32am Nav’i River Journey (6 min) 10 min posted
8:05am Kilimanjaro Safari (18 min) 25 min posted, was off the safari at 8:45am
9:05am Pongu Pongu - tried the Pongu Lumpia! I know this snack is controversial, it seemed like it was up my alley, but others have said the same and didn’t end up liking it so I was expecting to ultimately dislike it. I enjoyed it! 8/10 would eat again!
9:15am Gorilla Falls Trek, walked for 20 mins
9:45am It’s Tough to be a Bug - this was my first time, honestly, I think I have read articles and seen so many vlogs calling it startling and scary that I think I was expecting the worst so much that it wasn't….that….bad? I didn’t mind it? (side note: the ONLY time this entire trip that I wore tennis shoes was the morning of Animal Kingdom. My feet were hurting by the time I went into this show, so while it was going on I switched to my flip flops and my feet took a complete 180 degrees. I wore flip flops the rest of the trip and had zero issues with sore feet. I guess I’m just a flip flop girly???)
10:15am Feathered Friends in Flight - was actually heading to 11am Lion King but a CM I passed was announcing to people that the bird show was starting at 10:30 so I decided to detour there. It was great!
11:00am Maharajah Jungle Trek, walked for 20 mins, this was the most beautiful trail for me, absolutely lovely!
11:30am Eight Spoon Cafe - got the BBQ pork MacnCheese, found a spot to sit down by Drinkwallah and that is my go-to spot now. It is shaded and the carved tables and chairs are so pretty. I really like that little (hidden?) sit-down area!
12:00pm Discovery Trails, walked for 10 mins, then looked around shops in Discovery Island and Asia
12:50pm Rafiki’s Planet Watch (5 min) I did not get off the train, at this point I needed a break but I did not want to go back to resort, so I sat on the Wildlife Train and drank lots of water, I went around the circuit twice, got off at 1:30pm
1:45pm Festival of the Lion King, got in line for 2pm show, this was my first time…it BLEW MY MIND, absolutely loooooooved this. So so much. It was wonderful!
3:00pm Dinosaur (5 min) 15 min posted - first time! Honestly, I have heard so many disparaging comments about this ride I expected it to be terrifying, painful and just not fun. Again, I had an opposite experience! I love dinosaur movies (like Jurassic park) so I really enjoyed this one. I hope it is still there to ride when I am back in the fall!
3:30pm Nomad Lounge (added myself to waitlist on app, there was no “wait” got the text pretty much immediately) This was such an important break out of the heat. I spent an hour here to recharge. I drank a lot of water, had a delicious cocktail Lamu Libation 10/10, Ahi Tuna Poke Bowl 8/10, and Churros 10/10. I was able to charge my phone in an outlet at the bar. It was the perfect break!
5:00pm Left AK and headed back to resort
7:20pm Scanned into Hollywood Studios, walked around, looked through gift shops
8:20pm Catalina Eddie’s: got the Toffee and Coconut Blondie to take with me into Fantasmic! You guys…this is an absolute favorite of mine! My friend got it at NYE and forced me to try it (I didn’t want to bc I am not a coconut fan) but I fell in LOVE. Definitely a 20/10. I was so excited to get it again this trip. If you don’t love coconut, I find it very mild, you should definitely give it a shot.
9:00pm Fantasmic!
10:00pm Got on the bus to All-Star Sports instead of Movies bc in the gift shop at my resort the worker had told me I could find the pin I was looking for at the Sports gift shop. It was the 30 yr Anniversary pin of All-Star Resorts. I bought that and walked all the way back to my building, was back by 10:30pm
31,437 steps
Tuesday 5/21 - EPCOT
10:00am Scanned in at Epcot - kind of embarrassing…I was “that person” to hold everyone up. The past two days I did not need a park reservation, so I didn’t even think anything of it, but they told me one was required this day and he was setting one up for me on his ipad but then it kept erroring out, I felt TERRIBLE.
10:25am - Living with the Land (5 min) 5 min posted
10:50am - Nemo and Friends (15 min) 15 min posted
11:15am - Journey of Water walkthrough
11:40am - bought the Spike’s Pollination Exploration Scavenger hunt, it was nice bc it was 30% off with the rest of the F&G merch and I got my 20% discount on it. I mean it was only $10 regular price but I was still pretty happy lol
11:50am - got food!!! Toasted Pretzel Bread and Raspberry Radler (Germany) still 20/10, Frushi (Japan) 8/10, Fruit Punch Ale (America) 8/10 good but I would get the radler over this every time
1:00pm Frozen (40 min) 60 min posted, I got splashed a lot more than normal this time for some reason! Sat next to a girl who was videoing on a go-pro, asked if she was a vlogger but she said no and then we chatted for a min about our love of Disney vlogs, it was nice!
2:10pm Kringla Bakeri - Viking Coffee, 9/10 excellent!
2:30pm The Honey Bee-stro - Liquid Nitro Honey-Mascarpone Cheesecake, 10/10 LOVED, the cheesecake was smooth and creamy (even while “frozen”) and the tart blueberry compote that comes with it is a perfect pairing. Plus I was able to Pixie Dust someone here! There was a young girl in line in front of me by herself, she was maybe 13? Anyway she was trying to scan her magic band for payment and the CM told her the band was not authorized to be used for payment, she seemed a bit surprised and embarrassed and I stepped in and started scanning my magic band. It was honestly only $6.50. She tried to tell me no and that she would go get her mom, but I just overrode her and said “It’s Disney! Let me!” with a smile. We were both at the window to pick up our items together and when she got hers she unexpectedly leaned in and gave me a hug and thanked me again. I was so surprised and heartwarmed (and also felt bad that I was kinda sweaty lol). But anyway it was a wonderful moment!
2:45pm Bought the Spaceship Earth cookie jar that I have been wanting so badly! I got it with my gift card I got for “mothers day” from our pets :D
2:55pm Spaceship Earth (walk on) 5 min posted
4:00pm Bus back to resort for a break and shower bc it was a very hot day!
6:40pm Scanned back into EPCOT
6:45pm Spaceship Earth (walk on) 5 min posted
Walked around to find Spike for scavenger hunt
7:35pm Toasted Pretzel Bread and Raspberry Radler (again! lol)
8:00pm watched Garden Rocks concert
More Spike hunting!
9:00pm Luminous
9:10pm Started heading out of park
This was my toughest day of my whole solo trip for several reasons. 1) I don’t think I did enough sit down things, I was on my feet a ton 2) I was not being “park smart”. Epcot is huge enough in the first place but I was not navigating the park in an efficient way and ended up walking WAY more than I should have. Around 7:30-8pm I started to feel something pulled in my leg (after googling later maybe a mild issue with adductor tendon?) it was high up in my inner thigh, I decided to leave the park only 10 mins after Luminous started bc I really wanted to not push myself, the next day was going to be my Magic Kingdom day and that is my favorite park and would likely be a long day and I just didn’t want to ruin it.
29,183 steps
Wednesday 5/22 - Hollywood Studios (not Magic Kingdom!)
Woke up before 7am and decided to pivot on my plans bc of my leg. I decided to stay in the resort room until midday to rest my leg, and due to that decision I switched my park day from MK to HS. I figured if I was going to be in a park for less hours of the day I would rather sacrifice time in Hollywood Studios than Magic Kingdom. I bought Genie+ and bought an ILL for Rise of the Resistance for 1:40pm. This ended up being THE BEST decision I could have made. By the time I left my room, my leg was feeling 100% better and I did not have any issues with it for the rest of the trip!
1:15pm Scanned into Hollywood Studios
1:30pm Frozen Sing Along - I love this fricken show, I always want to see it every time I go to HS, I could watch it a million times, I am always impressed by the Arendelle Historians bc they are so funny, and while they will make jokes in a similar vein, they still have so much variety that you don’t see the same jokes when you watch shows with different historians. A++, this will always be one of my faves.
2:15pm Rise of the Resistance ILL - full A mode, also…bc I was wearing my Reliefband I was able to keep my eyes open during the drop with the simulation of flying through space. It was great!!!
3:00pm Smuggler's Run (G+) - okaayyyyyy, I have never been on this (due to motion sickness fears) but I decided to take the plunge. I got all the way to sitting in the seat and tbh I was terrified. I was by myself, I didn’t know exactly what to expect and I was not so much scared that I would be sick, I was confident in the Reliefband, but I was worried I would hate the simulated feeling of flying. That kinda freaks me out. So then, the ride doesn’t actually start and they tell us that a CM will be in to let us out bc it has malfunctioned and we will be given a LL back. I was quite literally SO RELIEVED. I will try that ride, but in September when I am with my husband!
3:30pm Woody’s Lunchbox - Adult Lemonade 10/10 and Raspberry Lunchbox Tart 7/10. I ended up getting two more Adult Lemonades throughout the night bc I thought they were delicious!! The tart was fine, it tasted “good” but nothing unique or outstanding.
4:00pm Beauty and the Beast Live
4:35pm Mickey and Minnie’s Runaway Railway (G+)
5:15pm Toy Story Mania (G+)
6:00pm Baseline Taphouse - Charcuterie Board 9/10 and Blood Orange Hard Cider 7/10
6:30pm Frozen Sing Along - I am not kidding about how much I like this show lol
7:10pm Mickey and Minnie’s Runaway Railway (40 mins) 45 min posted
8:20pm Rise of the Resistance (used the anytime pass I got for Smuggler Run going down) this time around we ended up having to walk down a hallway bc there was a technical difficulty with the 2nd pre show (where you enter the craft and get pulled in by the first order) we skipped that part and walked down a hallway straight into the storm trooper room. Everything else worked except for Finn.
8:45pm Ran my ass through Toy Story land (picked up an Adult Lemonade!) and hightailed it to Fantasmic! This ended up being a very good lesson for me. Getting to Fantasmic! just as it was starting was NOT a good idea. I was in the bleachers in the last section at the top, like with the walkway in front of you. You can hardly see anything back there. I will not make this mistake again. I left just as the floats started bc I could not even see them at all.
Browsed a lot of gift shops!
10:20pm Got on bus back to resort
I go back and forth on whether G+ was worth it today. Ultimately, I side on yes bc I didn’t even get to the park until 1pm, got to walk the park a ton, I did the most photopass spots here than I did on any other day, so Genie+ allowing me to just hop on 3 rides with no wait gave me the time to do all of that (and watch Frozen twice and B&B show), and I had the time to wait for Runaway Railway standby again. Also, bc the Smugglers Run malfunction allowed me to use a “LL” on Rise again, that alone made it worth it!
20,264 steps
Thursday 5/23 - Magic Kingdom
Wooooohoooo! My favorite park! I decided to get G+ today and get an ILL for Seven Dwarfs Mine Train for 7:40pm
9:10 Scanned into MK
9:25am Thunder Mountain (walk on) 10 min posted, this ride has never gotten to me in the past (motion sickness) but I was in the second to last cart and that made this ride feel faster and “dippier” and I did not care for it lol
9:40am Westward Ho - Crispy Chicken/egg/pepper jack breakfast biscuit, 9/10 would get again!
9:55am Pirates of the Caribbean (10 min) 15 min posted
10:25am Enchanted Tiki Room (walk on, got there just as they were ushering people in)
10:45am Enchanted Tales with Belle (12 min) 20 min posted
11:20am Little Mermaid (G+)
11:35am Mickey’s Philharmagic (10 min) 15 min posted
12:20 Carousel (15 min) 5 min posted - tbh this one pissed me off lol, bc I would have never gone on it had I realized I would wait 15 mins, 5 mins was a cruel trick haha
12:50pm Winnie the Pooh (G+)
1:05pm it’s a small world (G+)
1:35pm PeopleMover (8 min) 15 min posted
2:05pm Buzz Lightyear Space Ranger Spin (G+) - I didn’t remember thinking this ride was this hard! But after having just done Toy Story Mania the day before, I did not find this one to be as easy to “play”, I prefer Toy Story Mania!
2:20pm Monsters Inc Laugh Floor (17 min) 10 min posted
3:05 Peter Pan’s Flight (G+)
3:25pm Pecos Bills - slugged some water, had a coke (12/10 refreshing!) and nachos (4/10, I did not remember these being so spicy, I mean I don’t like spice so I am probably a wimp saying this but I did not enjoy these bc of the spiciness, will not get again)
4:00pm Stopped in Columbia Harbour house which was not too busy and found an empty table next to an outlet to charge my phone
4:45pm Haunted Mansion (G+)
Walked to First Aid station for Tylenol (headache)
5:20pm Pirates of the Caribbean (G+)
5:50pm Sunshine Tree Terrace - I tried the I Lava You Float, and I was sure it was going to be too sweet even though I have read many people’s reviews who loved it. I LAVA THIS FLOAT! 10/10 very much looking forward to getting again in fall!
6:05 WDW Train (Frontierland) (6 min) 10 min posted - I felt like chilling for a bit again so I did a full circuit and then went on to Fantasyland
7:05 Mickey’s Philharmagic (5 min) 10 min posted
7:35pm Seven Dwarfs Mine Train ILL - felt the same way about this one as BTM earlier, I was in one of the last carts (row 8) and it felt faster and dippier than in the past, no thanks!
8:10pm PeopleMover (20 min) 5 min posted - this should have been a walk on, but the ride went down as I was in line, I kept debating back and forth about leaving the line and coming back, but I just kept sticking it out a few more mins and a few more mins. Some people in line behind me were speculating if someone had puked on the ride bc of the workers going up. Not sure, doesn’t really matter, PeopleMover is the BEST at night!
8:50pm Seven Dwarfs Mine Train (35 min) 35 min posted - Listen, I wasn’t expecting to be on this ride during HEA, I was just trying to hop in line while everyone was waiting for fireworks bc the wait would be shorter, but the fact that I actually got on it in perfect timing to see fireworks?! Let me just say it is just as cool as everyone says it is! Also, they put me in row 8 again, grrrrr, is that the designated solo rider lane?
9:30pm TRON - I tried getting a boarding group at 7am and didn’t get in. So then my plan was to get in at 1pm but I totallyyyyyyy forgot about it and I remembered at 1:55pm and I was like “crap! I guess I will see if I can still buy an ILL”. I was about to do that and then I thought to myself, “maybe I should just see if the VQ is still open?” AND IT WAS! So I literally got a boarding group at 2pm, an hour after the VQ started, I was shocked and thrilled when I got one! Plus TRON is always so gorgeous at night. I actually have yet to ride it in the day lol And LISTEN, I get that most people prefer Guardians to TRON, I really do get it. BUT bc I am not that much of a thrill ride person, I like easier going coasters. I seriously love TRON so much. It is such a horizontal coaster that it’s like my ideal. You get the thrill from it being fast and a little dippy, but nothing crazy. It’s a fave for me!!!
10:30pm Casey’s Corner - French fries and coke, both 10/10 refreshing and needed the pick me up!
10:45pm Main Street Confectionary - It was on my to-do list to get the popcorn mix from here. I chose Butter Popcorn, dark chocolate sauce, pretzel pieces and snickers. 10/10 definitely recommend. Will be getting a mix again in September!
11:10pm Got on bus back to resort
Friday 5/24 - Bonus Day?!
This was supposed to be my travel day back home. My flight was set to leave at 5pm, but in the morning my husband told me about storms in the midwest and I got an email from the airline about “adverse weather conditions”, so I called and changed my flight to the next day at 7am. (It ended up being the right choice bc my original 5pm flight out of MCO was delayed multiple times until it was finally canceled at like 10:30pm) I was thankfully able to book another night at All-Star Movies and could stay in my same room. I quickly formed the plan to go back to Animal Kingdom to see Festival of the Lion King again bc I had enjoyed it so much earlier in the week and then go to EPCOT to finish the final 4 Spikes that I had not located yet for the scavenger hunt!
11:00am Scanned in at Animal Kingdom
11:50am Mr. Kamal’s - got the Chicken Dumplings that were on my list to try but I did not get the chance to on Monday, also went back to my favorite spot by Drinkwallah, the dumplings were like a 6/10. Idk just pretty average for a potsticker that you can get anywhere, I probably would not get them again
12:15pm walked around Dinoland to really soak it in just in case next time I come it is walled off!
1:pm Festival of the Lion King - man, this is just fantastic! Be Prepared is my favorite villain song and I get so pumped when they do that part!
1:50pm Satu’li Canteen - got the wood-grilled chicken protein bowl, with rice and black beans and the creamy herb sauce. Literally OH MY GOD, this was so flipping good! 20/10!!! Best thing I ate hands-down all week. I wasn’t sure I would eat the slaw in the bowl but that was delicious, the creamy herb sauce was amazing and those little boba balls that add the citrus burst?!?! So so good. I have already altered our plans for September to include two meals here so I can get this bowl twice next time lol
2:45pm Took bus back to Resort
5:30pm Scanned in at EPCOT
5:55pm Living with the Land (walkon) 10 min posted
6:15pm Awesome Planet (walkon, went into theater immediately and show started) This was my first time checking this out, I really enjoyed it! I will def watch again especially in the heat of the day when I just need to sit somewhere cool for a bit!
6:45pm Found Spike (1 of 4 left) by the Butterly Landing!
7:00pm Found Spike (2 of 4 left) in France
7:10pm Checked out the Annual Passholder lounge in Restaurant Marrakesh
7:35pm Gran Fiesta Tour (walk on) 5 min posted
7:50pm Found Spike (3 of 4 left) in Mexico
8:00pm Got another Toasted Pretzel Bread and Raspberry Radler from Germany (dont judge! lol)
8:10pm watched Lit at Garden Rocks concert (who doesn’t love “My own worst enemy”!?!?!?)
8:35pm Found final Spike in Japan!!! - this one was my ultimate nemesis. I had searched Japan on Tuesday, I had searched Japan (twice?) earlier on this day and I was all set to give up bc I couldn’t find the Kokedama garden. I just hadn’t looked up the stone path to the left of Japan. Finally saw it when it was dark out and got my final Spike!!!
8:50pm Journey of Water walkthrough (always better at night!)
9:05pm Shoutout to the photopass guy who I stopped by on my way out of the park, those were the most awkward poses I have ever done in front of spaceship earth but you tried your best and the photos make me laugh every time I see them!
29,941 steps
Overall Thoughts
10/10 Amazing Trip. I found out about people going on solo trips here on reddit late last year and I was immediately certain I had to book one. While I can be a very social person, I am also a loner in the fact that I do enjoy spending time in my own company (not everybody does) so I knew a solo trip was right up my alley. It was everything I hoped for and more. I didn’t have to consult anyone else, I could do what I want, when I want. Also, (not to brag….shhhhhh…I’m not bragging I swear) but I am not a complainer. The heat usually doesn’t affect me too much, I have a good amount of endurance so I get tired of course but it takes a lot. I’m pretty unflappable because I’m just happy to BE AT Disney World. Others I’ve gone with are not like this so much lol so it was nice to just be in my own company in the sense that I was always in a positive mood and didn’t have anyone dimming that? If that makes sense?
Safety
I am a petite woman. I am 4’10” and 118lbs so I am very aware of my size in terms of my safety. I can honestly say though that I felt safe throughout the whole trip. The one time that I got off the bus at All-Star Sports at 10pm to go to the gift shop and then walked all the way to Movies, that did worry me a bit but only as I was walking through the parking lot sections.
And I did get the crap scared out of me at the resort due to the requirement of a “visual check”. I had not ever heard of this, but I was in my room for a midday break and I had a knock at my door by housekeeping. I thought it was odd bc I had my “room occupied” sign out the whole time bc I didn’t feel the need for housekeeping, it was just me in the room. I said “no thank you” and they knocked and announced housekeeping again. I said “no thank you” louder. (internally I was thinking, can they not hear me through the door????) and they did it again! I finally went closer to the door and I heard the person mumble something about a “visual check” and I very sternly and loudly said “no!” bc I didn’t know what the heck they were talking about. I peeked through the curtain at my window and watched the guy walk past holding a phone in his hand. I think he was wearing a uniform shirt but I couldn’t totally tell. I decided to call the resort in the event this was someone trying to pose as housekeeping staff. They ended up relieving my fears by telling me it was legitimate. Apparently, you have to have your room checked at some point in your stay (I was staying 5 nights) if you choose not to get housekeeping. He explained this has to do with the Pulse Nightclub shooting. I guess they had stockpiled guns in their hotel room and kept not letting housekeeping in. He explained that is why they do the visual check, for the safety of all resort guests. I was 100% supportive once he told me that and I felt bad for yelling at the guy. But also, I am a solo woman and I had no idea what the hell was going on, and to be completely frank, I had just showered so I was in a tshirt and underwear which made me feel even more vulnerable bc I was not fully dressed! I was not letting that person in my room. The guy on the phone totally understood that and apologized for alarming me. I told him to have the guy come back and do the visual check. I apologized to him when he came in. He was in my room for all of 10 seconds and that was it. But it was certainly a crazy ordeal!
Walking
I was doing 20-30k steps each day and other than hurting my leg on Tuesday I was honestly fine. I had shin splints too but again, they weren’t terrible and by Thursday they were gone. I brought tennis shoes and flip flops intending to switch on and off throughout the week in order to prevent my feet from getting sore but that never happened. I spent 3 hours in the shoes on Monday before my feet started hurting and I never wore them again. I had 2 different pairs of flip flops the whole time. I guess that is what my feet like!
Backpack vs Loungefly
I typically wear a normal size backpack to the parks, but also I can usually share wearing it with my husband. I didn’t really consider how hard it would be to wear a backpack alllllllll day long. And it wasn’t even heavy, I didn’t put much in it at all, but still it wore on my shoulders and made them sore. On Wednesday I ended up getting a Loungefly even though they have never really been my thing. It honestly ended up being perfect. It felt different on my shoulders and I wasn’t getting sore like I was with a regular size backpack.
Waiting in Lines
I have often read that one of the things that bothers solo travelers the most is waiting in lines by themselves bc it’s boring and they have no one to keep them company. I thought I might feel this way too but waiting in lines was not bad at all to me. It’s so easy to be on your phone that whole time. I was looking at my photopass photos, browsing reddit, and inputting trip notes. I felt like waiting in line was not a hardship for me as a solo traveler.
Photopasses
This trip exceeded my expectations with photopasses! The number of photos each photographer took and the variety of positions and magic shots was awesome. I am assuming part of that is because I was solo? I am not sure but I just felt like the quantity and time spent at each photopass location was better than normal. Special shout out to Hollywood Studios, that day in particular was just awesome. Every photographer was awesome, but especially the ones in Galaxy’s Edge. I was having such an amazing time getting them!
Total Photopasses each day:
MK - 6 photopass spots
AK - 2 photopass spots
Epcot - 3 photopass spots
HS - 7 photopass spots
MK - 6 photopass spots
AK and EPCOT - 7 photopass spots
I can’t wait to do it all again in September with my husband!

Here goes.
I made the most difficult decision Monday to say goodbye to my beloved 10.5 year old pit bull Chunks. He was my whole world and more. I’m still absolutely devastated. He had been given days to live 8 months ago. The vet said he had an aggressive cancer and/or heart failure. Mentally, he was still thriving but his belly got so big the last few months and you could tell he was getting uncomfortable.
Woke up Sunday morning to a puddle of blood on the carpet. I was advised to either bring him home and keep him comfortable with medications and to have his belly drained. Financially, I just couldn’t afford several procedures at $300+ each just to prolong the inevitable. With his age and what seemed to be internal bleeding, I chose to not let him get to the point of suffering and let him go. I didn’t want something to happen if I were to leave the apartment and him die scared, in pain and alone. And yes, selfishly, I didn’t want my last memory of him to be a traumatic death at home. His emergency vet visit, medication, euthanasia and cremation came to just over 1200 dollars.
Here’s where the advice I need comes in…
3 nights after his passing, my ring camera went off. I saw a tiny dog in our breezeway. He was wet, shaking and starving.
I took him in and noticed the fleas and ticks so I gave him a bath and set him up on my porch in Chunks’s crate with food and water for the night while I scouted Facebook, Nextdoor, ring and other websites that list missing pets.
There’s NO trace of him on there, no leads, nothing. The posts I’ve made have been shared hundreds of times. He is a little, intact male— possibly a puggle or similar breed. I’m not super fond of small dogs. My boy was a 75 pound pit mix so completelyyyy different than what I gravitate to. I got him on flea and tick prevention and will take him to my vet Monday morning for a full exam. I took him to get scanned for a chip and he didn’t have one.
Our local shelters and humane society are putting dogs down like crazy. I can’t in good conscious bring him there and I don’t want someone else to take him because I can’t trust that they will continue looking for his family or turn him over if I were to find them.
The thought of getting another dog was nowhere on my mind, but I’d be lying if I said he wasn’t growing on me. Everyone, and I mean everyone is saying that this dog was sent to me for a reason. I’m not sure what I believe in but the timing is uncanny. I’ve never had a dog show up at my door.. let alone days after saying goodbye to a pet who has just passed.
I’m hoping this is just a temporary foster type of thing because I am feeling so guilty for loving on another animal so soon after losing Chunks. I feel guilty that I’m not more open to just saying “this has got to be a gift from Chunks, he knew I still have so much love to give”. I’m not saying I’m completely opposed to making this a permanent thing but between my grief, finances after just paying all of that money for Chunks the last week and taking in a dog unexpectedly who has some health issues that need to be addressed before possibly finding him a home (if emotionally I can’t commit)— it’s worrisome. It’s not like if I decided to go to a shelter and pay a 200 dollar adoption fee for a dog who is fixed, up to date on shots, healths been assessed etc.
If I do this, I’m looking at multiple vet visits, medication for his skin, possible heart worm treatment, deworming, neutering, the Ubers back and forth since I don’t drive and who knows if he’s sick (and maybe if he was dumped, that could be the reason why)
Am I insane for even considering this? Should I have just taken him to the shelter? Do vets give discounts for situations like this? Am I insane for being open to the idea that someone or something from above literally guided this little guy to my door…
A few friends and coworkers are so adamant about me “listening to the universe and accepting this gift that Chunks sent” that they have sent me money to go towards the cost of his first vet apt. That alone makes me feel guilty if I decide this is just too much to handle but once I commit, I’m 100% in. He’s too sweet of a boy for me to give up if I end up getting to a point where I’m mommy. I give my pets my all and this little guy will not be an exception to anything different. This whole situation gives me goosebumps when I think he could have went anywhere but chose my door.. the door that I was behind, crying In bed missing my baby boy.
What would you guys do? I’ll take any advice you can give. Should I get everything added at the vet apt Monday and make a logical decision based on the findings? Or do I believe “this is meant to be and bigger than my doubts” Just please don’t be rude and try to understand my emotions are all over the place right now.