Hello everyone! 🌟

I was watching the Pokimane episode, and she said something that really hit home about the need for online security information, especially for women. She mentioned how scary it is to deal with stalkers, tracking devices like AirTags, and the lack of adequate stalking regulations. This really hit home that we need to be vigilant.
As a normal girlie, I've had people try to hack my accounts and make fake profiles using my photos. It's a bit much. The law hasn't quite caught up yet, so we need to stay vigilant! Here are some tips to keep us all safe online:
This will be a long guide but it's so important to stay informed.

🌐 General Online Safety Tips

Use Strong Passwords:

• Create unique passwords for each account: Use a mix of uppercase letters, lowercase letters, numbers, and symbols.
• Avoid using easily guessable info: Steer clear of using birthdays, pet names, or other obvious choices.
• Consider using a password manager: I use 1Password, and it’s a lifesaver! A password manager securely stores and generates strong passwords for you. It was a bit of a hassle to set up, but it’s so worth it now because it helps me store everything. Plus, I can share my Netflix password and other accounts with my family easily. 🌸
• Need help setting it up? They also have great user guides here and support here if you get stuck.

Enable Two-Factor Authentication (2FA):

• Extra layer of security: 2FA requires a second form of verification, like a text message or app notification, in addition to your password. It’s like having a double lock on your door, making it much harder for anyone to break in! 🔒✨
• Why it works: Even if someone gets your password, they’d still need your phone or access to the second verification step to get into your account.
• Always enable 2FA: Turn it on for accounts that offer it, especially for your email, banking, and social media. It gives your accounts an extra level of protection. 🌟
• Need help setting it up? For more details on how 2FA works and how to set it up, check out this detailed guide and JumpCloud's explanation.

Be Cautious with Personal Information:

• Avoid sharing personal details: Don't post your address, phone number, or financial information online. This info can be used by scammers or stalkers, so keep it private.
• Be mindful of social media sharing: Think twice before sharing personal updates. Make sure you know who can see your posts and adjust your privacy settings to keep things tight.
• Learn more: For additional tips on staying safe online, check out these great resources from Stay Safe Online.

📧 Email Security

Beware of Phishing Scams:

• Be cautious of unknown senders: If you get an email asking for personal info from someone you don’t know, be super sceptical. Scammers love to pretend they’re legit to trick us.
• Watch out for suspicious links and attachments: Even if it looks like it's from a friend, always double-check before clicking on anything. Phishing emails can be sneaky!
• Verify the sender: Check the email address carefully and look for signs of phishing, like bad grammar or urgent requests that seem a bit off.
• Learn more about phishing: Dive deeper into spotting phishing scams with Phishing.org.

Use Secure Email Providers:

• Choose providers with strong security measures: Popular email services like Gmail offer robust security features such as two-factor authentication, spam filtering, and protection against phishing attacks. These are great for general use and offer strong security.
• End-to-end encryption: For the highest level of privacy, consider using email providers that offer end-to-end encryption, like ProtonMail. This ensures that only you and the recipient can read the message, and not even the email provider can access it. This is particularly important if you're handling sensitive information or just want the peace of mind that your messages are truly private.
• Robust privacy policies: Ensure your email provider has a solid privacy policy that protects your personal information and doesn’t share it with third parties. Gmail has strong security, but it’s important to understand how your data is used by reading their privacy policy. ProtonMail, on the other hand, is designed with privacy as a priority and doesn’t collect or share user data.

🔒 Social Media Safety

Adjust Privacy Settings:

• Review and update regularly: Regularly check and update your privacy settings to control who can see your posts and personal information. This ensures you're always in control of your online presence.
• Limit visibility: Set your profile visibility to friends only or create a custom list of trusted people. This helps keep your personal information and posts private.

Limit Location Sharing:

• Avoid real-time sharing: For safety, avoid sharing your location in real-time. If you want to share your location, do it after you've left the place. This prevents anyone from knowing your exact whereabouts at any given moment.
• Be mindful of tagging: Be cautious about tagging your location in posts or stories. This also applies to tagging friends; make sure they're okay with sharing their location too.

Be Selective with Friend Requests:

• Accept only known contacts: Only accept friend requests from people you know in real life. This helps prevent scammers and stalkers from accessing your personal information.
• Be wary of strangers: Be cautious of friend requests from unknown people, as they often create fake profiles to gather personal information. Look out for red flags like a lack of mutual friends or minimal profile information.

🛡️ Device Security

Keeping our devices secure is just as important as online safety. Here’s how to make sure your gadgets are protected:
Keep Software Updated:

• Regular updates: Always update your devices and applications to fix security vulnerabilities. This includes your phone, computer, and any apps you use regularly.
• Enable automatic updates: Turn on automatic updates so you don’t have to worry about missing any important security patches.
• Learn more: Check out this information from US-CERT.

Install Antivirus Software:

• Use reputable antivirus software: Protect your devices from malware and other threats with reliable antivirus software. Some popular options include Norton, McAfee, and Bitdefender.
• Regular scans: Schedule regular scans and keep your antivirus software updated to ensure maximum protection.
• Read reviews: Find out which antivirus software is best for you by reading reviews from AV-TEST.

Use a VPN:

• Encrypt your connection: A Virtual Private Network (VPN) encrypts your internet connection, adding an extra layer of security, especially on public Wi-Fi networks.
• Protect your data: VPNs help protect your data from being intercepted by hackers. Some popular VPN providers include NordVPN, ExpressVPN, and CyberGhost.
• Learn more: Discover more about VPNs from NordVPN.

💬 Communication Safety

Use Encrypted Messaging Apps:

• Choose apps with end-to-end encryption: For private conversations, use apps like Signal or WhatsApp, which offer end-to-end encryption to ensure that only you and the recipient can read the messages.

Be Wary of Strangers:

• Caution with unknown contacts: If someone you don’t know tries to contact you, be cautious. Don’t share personal information or agree to meet them in person without verifying their identity.
• Learn more: Get tips from Get Safe Online.

💖 Mental Health and Safety

Seek Support:

• Reach out for help: If you’re experiencing online harassment or threats, seek help from trusted friends, family, or support organisations. Every situation is different, so it’s important to reach out to the appropriate authorities or professionals who can provide guidance specific to your circumstances.

Remember, your safety is paramount. I could yap all day about this, but for all of us (the girls, the gays, the theys) who are more susceptible to harm, the law doesn't usually catch up until tragedy strikes. So let's stay vigilant! 🌟💖

Hey Reddit,
To start, thank you all for your kind words and support during this time. For the many of you that saw my last post and have been patiently waiting for an update wait no more. Please know that the part 2 really isn’t all that exciting.
After leaving my boyfriend in Florida while on vacation, he started blowing up my phone with insults and insane claims trying to get me to fund his trip back to California. He gave me various demands all circling around getting him on a flight that day back to California. I informed him that I don’t take demands from men that look like Benjamin Franklin.
He was very concerned with what I was going to be doing back in California without him and I replied “other people”. I told him that he should be happy now since he doesn’t have to worry about his ex girlfriend getting in the way of finding his hot Miami wife. He was shocked when I mentioned that I was now his ex. He went on a rant about how I can’t do anything on my own and that I need him to take care of me. I was confused by what he meant by that as I’m the one that has taken care of him.
After my lack of response for 2 hours, his mom started to call me multiple times, as fast as she was calling I was declining her calls even faster. She started texting insults letting me know how she really felt about me. I let her know that she failed her son by raising him in a way that would allow for him to lose his financial safety net by being ungrateful.
She let me know that she actually agreed with him. “If you tried to make yourself pretty for him, he wouldn’t have needed to start an argument”. I responded “if you didn’t try to put other women down your whole life, you wouldn’t be a washed up divorced trophy wife”. Then the real insults started coming in. I must have struck a nerve. I finally texted her back after her rapid firing of insults about my appearance that if she wanted him back in California, it’s her job to support her bastard son. She sent multiple more messages after that but I stopped reading them as I said my part.
I received multiple voicemails from my ex begging for forgiveness. All of a sudden, he wants to change, he finds me attractive, he doesn’t want to lose our relationship, etc. This is all too bad considering the great thing that he had going on prior to his negative outburst. He kept texting begging to come back and be able to make things right with me in person. Eventually he gave up texting.
His mom ultimately had to put him in a cheap motel for a couple of days so she could figure out how to get him home (to Ohio) so that she could take care of him the way that I apparently couldn’t. She got him back home this morning all while making multiple Facebook posts about me being a terrible person for leaving her sweet baby boy by himself in “an alligator infested swamp covered state”.
Anyways, I’m still curious AITAH?

I can't explain the dread I feel right now. I love him so much, I've drifted apart from basically all of my friends and he's the only person left right now that I actually enjoy hanging out with and put effort into seeing. He texts me daily, is so understanding of me and my anxiety issues - he's sat with me for hours upon end, rubbing my back, telling me everything is going to be okay. Granted, a lot of these anxiety causes were over stuff he did, but still. He showers me with compliments, and we get up to so much fun together. I can't recall the last time I had so much fun with someone just lying in their bed, going out for a walk, etc. I love him so much.
But, a more logical side of me is telling me we have to break up. I am extremely torn and it's causing me so much anxiety. There have been several incidents that have deeply hurt me and made me question our compatibility.
About a month or two after he and I became official, he sent me a picture of a girl he used to sleep with, intending for me to recreate it. He claims he “didn’t know” that it was her, frankly I was and continue to be insulted by the fact he thinks I’d believe he saw that picture and didn’t immediately know it was of his female friend and not some random girl he didn’t know, especially since he had cut her face out of the picture. Another thing related to this same girl - followed by an indulgence of my anxiety, I checked her instagram profile and I can see that he's liked a select number of pictures of hers whilst we were dating, all pretty provocative, which also makes me very insecure. What makes this different is that he’s told me they’re no longer friends, not by his choice but by her refusal since she ghosted him after they slept together, which makes it seem like he would be with her if he was given the choice. If I was her, I’d take a like to a picture like that to mean that he was still interested, especially since he told me she ignored his messages after they slept together, it changed the context a bit.
He also throughout our relationship for the first maybe 5 months demonstrated a very intimate knowledge about most of his female friends; I’ve heard him go into details about his female friends’ preferred masturbation techniques and relay that to me as advice, their favorite positions in bed, when I said I enjoyed it when he did something in bed, he could casually mention how “his friend told him she loved it as well”. For clarification, they never slept together, they had just deeply discussed things like this.
By happening to catch some notifications while we were on hisphone, I also was informed of his friend who sent him semi-regular updates about her sex life, describing certain sexual acts they did, how good the guy was, commenting on dicksize, etc. I made it clear I was not OK with this and he agreed that he found it too much. He claims he asked her to stop. But then, it happened again, and he blamed it on her forgetting. What hurt me here was also his lack of reaction when we both saw the text notification, he just noted on it and then continued watching the TikTok we were watching. He didn't seem to care about how it affected me or the breach of our set boundaries. That makes me suspect he either didn’t care or wasn’t surprised because, well, maybe he never set those boundaries in the first place.
When we spoke about it later, he did validate my feelings, but what also took place was him protecting her behavior. It made me feel so undervalued, and unheard. She has had sexual trauma, therefore she must message her friend who is in a relationship about who she had sex with, why, when and how. It was just such a shitty excuse, and I don’t know what’d make me feel worse; him genuinely believing that or him being so willing to lie to me. Regardless, we’ve now come to the decision to cut her off. So that problem should be “dealt with”, but my feelings of betrayal and distrust still linger.
I could never imagine doing these things in a relationship; it would make me feel like I was cheating. This is why I believe we're incompatible. While he may find this behavior acceptable, I don't. can't handle the anxiety and insecurity it causes me. I think I simply have a more conservative view of relationships, intimacy, and sex, and I believe it's essential that my partner shares this perspective.
Another major issue between us is our sex life. While I've enjoyed some aspects, I often feel my sexual needs aren't reciprocated. Despite discussing this before, improvements have been minimal. For instance, when I asked to use a condom for the first time, he put it on but then continued basically dry-humping me until he came. After that, I asked if he wanted to do something else - me still being horny - and he said he was too tired to continue. Next day, when I clarified “something else” meant intercourse, he was upset he missed out, indicating he did have energy but chose not to please me.
Another time, after we started kissing and moved to the couch, he requested I give him a blowjob, which I did, but then after he came he just left me on the couch, feeling used and alone. I feel this happens a lot, he is very focused on his own pleasure but not mine. What makes it worse, when I gathered courage to ask for reciprocation with a vibrator, which is hard for me being that forward, he responded unenthusiastically and then ignored it to first eat then play video games, then claiming he forgot. He later asked me “oh, did you want me to still do that?” maybe two hours later, but I was hurt and felt the way he asked seemed like it was more of an obligation to him than wanting to pleasure his girlfriend.
I've tried to communicate my needs and understand his, even considering factors like potential porn addiction (might be) or lack of attraction. Regardless, our sexual incompatibility persists. I need a partner as interested in my pleasure as I am in theirs.
All these reasons are, like I said, very logical reasons for a breakup, but my dread about it persists. I feel like I would rather take the insecurity and anxiety than feel this way. I’d miss him so much. It doesn’t help that I basically thought I was aromantic and asexual before I met him, I haven’t really been attracted to guys the way I am to him, on an emotional and physical level. I feel like I would never find someone who compares. I am an anxious wreck. Would apprechiate any advice on what you would do in my situation, how I could come to terms with breaking up. ANY insights, and I mean ANY, I would love, I am in dire need.
As a side-note, I was thinking of basically re-formatting this text a bit and sending it to him together with my break-up text, to explain it. He would require to know why, and I'd feel it'd be cathartic. Thoughts on that?
TL;DR: I'm torn about breaking up with my boyfriend, whom I love deeply and share a strong bond with. Despite his support and our fun times together, several incidents have hurt me and made me question our compatibility. He sent me a picture of a girl he used to sleep with, asking me to recreate it, and (IMO) lied about not recognizing it was her. He liked provocative pictures of her on Instagram, making me insecure. He shared intimate details about his female friends' sex lives, which made me uncomfortable. A friend of his sent explicit updates about her sex life, and despite agreeing to set boundaries, it happened again, with him showing little concern for my feelings. These actions have caused anxiety and insecurity, making me feel undervalued and unheard. Our sex life is also problematic; my needs often go unmet, and efforts to communicate haven't led to significant improvements. Despite these issues, the thought of breaking up fills me with dread, as I can't imagine finding someone who makes me feel the way he does. I need advice on how to come to terms with ending the relationship and moving on.

Hello I am new to reddit and never thought I would be on here to ask a question. I read so many stories on here. But here is my dilemma.
Also this story is a long one I apologize for the long post. if this story seems scattered around, don’t hesitate to ask me questions.
In 2020 I (27f) lost my papa (56m) to a unforeseen disease. I was so depressed and put all my focus into work and taking care of my family, mom not in the picture. I was so affected by him being gone I switched jobs and cities so I could stop feeling sad.
A year passed by and one day I was leaving work when I got a random message from a guy (54m) saying hello and that he knew me. He was friends with my papa and sent his condolences. I of course was on guard asking why and how he knew us. He and my papa worked in the same work field and they would talk about it on different occasions. I then ask how he met me because I would have remembered. He told me my papa gave it to him. Which is true, he always remembered my phone number and never kept a phone due to his hatred for technology.
For future reference, I will call this guy A. So A told me he saw me with my papa a lot and I caught his attention. And I thought he was on drug, there was no way someone was attracted to me. I was and still am a bigger woman. A is one of those guys who prefers them bigger. Always trying to build my confidence up when I had none. We became friends not just plain old friends, the one where it’s a romantic relationship without the label and been inseparable since. Literally texting all day everyday for months on end. Both have tried dating people but it didn’t work, and he was always there.
In the being I didn’t know I was being lied to this whole time. A lied about his age three times over the course of knowing him. In order he told me 29, 26, and 35. I am still finding out more and more lies even recently it’s more. I was so blind to his bs. I tend to interrogate people when I notice things are not right and stories dont add up. Like the fact that he moved three times since knowing him never sent a picture of his face. But would send nsfw pictures and they were cropped. He said he was shy and didn’t like the way he looked. Or the fact that we had a few phone calls but his voice was in a whisper. We even lived 30 minutes away from each other and he always made an excuse to not meeting in person. A was always busy at work and didn’t have time off, not one day. But randomly tell me late after having multiple days of no work conveniently just remembered.
I was still acting like this stuff didn’t affect me. It’s not his age that bothered me, it’s the fact that he is lying about everything. I was so open and told him everything. Even things my family doesn’t and will never know.
Time passes he caught on that I was suspicious of him and put my guard back up. A finally wanted to confess. In 2023, he confessed he was 54, at the time I was 25 turning 26. A then told me earlier this year his name wasn’t real. In my mind I cant trust him. He called me young and childish because he had to come clean.
So can someone tell me what is going on?

Now I don't mean not talking about important things like issues with a relationship or asking if we're alright after something bad happened etc etc.
I'm talking about trying to keep a conversation going for as long as possible and when that one ends they try to (almost) immediately start a new one just to continue conversation. Is it wrong for me to think that I don't like/want that in a relationship?
For context: My GF (27F) and me (24M) have a long distance relationship together where we both live across the country so in-person visits are very difficult. As a result we talk to each other via text or call but mainly text. She has a ton of anxiety and almost always feels nervous about our relationship, if I love her, and if other people hate her. (Basically she is socially paranoid 24/7)
While at first I had a load of time to talk with her and would respond as quickly as possible and try to respond to everything she would send but as the relationship went on I just started to feel really fatigued about it. Since we first met through friends in an MMO we mainly just had conversations in-game and then started having them through text (mind you we continued conversations after logging off). After we started dating and I was taking a break from games, we continued to talk through text and call. As time goes on it seems like the only thing my gf can do to really entertain herself is talk to me. She texts me in the morning and sends me a bunch of funny images and the like. When we're working she'll send me more images and have conversations during her break. After work she send me more texts and images. At night she wants conversations and will continue to chat with me until its almost 5 AM unless I break it off first.
If a conversation ends or there's not much left to talk about, less than 10 minutes later she sends me a twitter post or image (if not several). The same thing happens with regular conversations too.
After I started gaming again, even if we talked in the morning for an hour or two as well as the afternoon, she'll log on and try to find me and start another conversation in game if I'm also online until I decide to log off or do something else.
TL;DR for the the above section: My gf wants to talk with me all the time unless I stop talking first or she has an important matter where she can't text me
-----
I feel very confused and my brain is telling me its wrong to not want to talk with her, especially when I wanna just game alone to recuperate after a long day. I can't tell her that I had a long day or that I don't wanna talk because I know for a fact that she'll then get sad/depressed about it even if she says its ok.
I understand that for some relationships, texting all the time, texting all day, and being excited for it is the norm but I've been learning that I just don't really enjoy that kind of experience. Is that wrong for me to think?
I want to bring this up with her but I worry that it'll make her spiral into a panic attack because she'll assume I don't want to talk to her because I don't love her as much anymore. (And yes I assume this because it has happened before and I wasn't even the one who was talking to her)
This isn't also me saying I don't like her or anything, I really enjoy her company and love how much we share in common together but I just am not good with the level of texting and conversation she wants from me.
tbh idk where I'm going with all this, I feel like I'm just ranting but I'm just feeling fatigued from conversation.
TL;DR for the entire post: I love my gf but she texts and messages me so much from morning to night that I just feel so fatigued from it. I want to have less communication overall in the relationship but I feel wrong for thinking so.

Yesterday was my birthday 21st, and this year, I wanted to celebrate it with friends. I don't have any family where I am, and I haven't celebrated it since I was 11. My fiance wanted to plan this year out for me, so I gave him full control.
2 days before one by one friends he invited months ahead called and said they didn't take off work, so they can't come. They offered to show the week after on his birthday but not mine. (I'm not upset at my boyfriend he really did try hard) Months ahead of my birthday, I kept asking my fiance, Should I give him a group of my friends numbers, so it's more than just our friend group. He didn't do that, so when I called other friends asking them if they wanna hang out, they understandably had thing they were doing. (I asked if they could hang out the day before, of or after)
The part I'm most upset about is my so-called best friend of 9 years. This marks the third year she's missed my birthday. This year, she had nothing planned for her own birthday and was bummed out. So I took her on a day out we went to the mall, I bought a bunch of presents we went out to eat. She asked me to get a matching outfit, and I did.
The day before my birthday, my Fiance had tickets to a rage room. He bought it months in advance for 4 people. I called my best friend and she said she would make it after work. I got 1 friend to come. An hour before we had to go, she texted that she couldn't make it because she was at a mall 40 minutes from me. Mind you, she got off at 5, and we were supposed to get her a 7. But she said she would call off the day of my birthday to spend time with me throughout the day and go to my birthday dinner.
The day of my birthday, she sent me a text saying happy birthday. I waited hours to see if she was gonna come and spend the day with me. She wasn't replying to 6. we asked her boyfriend (who is coincidentally my boyfriends best friend of 19 years) if she's coming, and he said not that he's aware of. I looked at her story, and she wasn't at work but a BBQ. She took off of work, I gave grace and waited for the time of my birthday dinner. She texts 1 hour before asking what I'm doing. I said, getting ready for my dinner, I asked if she was still coming.
She said, "I don't wanna be a third wheel, so no." At that point, I burst into tears. I sent an okay, and that was all. My love and I went out to eat by ourselves. But, I called a friend that I had never been out with before, and we all went to a bar and played darts and games at the last minute. I had a blast doing that. My birthday cake was delivered a day late so today me and my love sang happy birthday to me.
At this point, I'm just depressed/disappointed. I think this friendship is over. This was supposed to be a milestone birthday. Next year I might just travel to my family. But its the point that I try so hard for everyone else to feel special on their birthday, and not many seem to give the same energy back. I think a valuable lesson was taught. People will make time for who they want to make time for. I am thankful to everyone who showed up

New hire girl at work and we immediately clicked. Had first date within the week and it went too well. I had been looking for a new job months before she arrived because I wanted to move back closer to my family. Fate has ways to play with my feelings and this happens often. I thought everything was going well, I've settled enough being away from family and friends, now I have a date who I know would become my gf soon enough.
2 days after the first date I get the offer letter and I accepted it. I resigned and before I get to tell her my boss spreads the news around and because of it, she takes it the wrong way. We had plan to watch a movie at my place that night and she became distant as she consults to her guy best friend (I'm not comfortable with as I feel they may have feelings with each other but I put up with it as it's not my place to separate them). I convinced her to come and she mentioned she almost didn't as her best friend said not to.
I explained the whole story and she was understanding. We began watching the movie and halfway through we're making out and continued to go further. We stop before reaching third base as she thought it would be a bad idea and I respected her wishes.
We continued to date but she decided to switch to being friends as she didn't want to miss me when I move in a week. This hurt a lot, I got drunk that night to fall asleep. Overtime she became more distant and made reasons to not making it to our hangout plans the rest of the week. She decided to hangout on my last day not to hangout but needed me to help her move an appliance. I feel used and still hurting knowing she doesn't want to be with me. I understood but i had hopes maybe we can try long distance.
Weeks after my move I found out she's flying her best friend to her place whose at the opposite of the country to hangout for over a week. She wanted me to take her to hiking as I knew the place very well but my assumption that her best friend will be visiting so they can go instead without me in the picture. I think I'm overthinking but I'm hurt and bawling my eyes knowing she's moved on when she says she still wants to meet. We tried to text since I moved but she has been very dried in replying that I can't message back anymore. It just hurts.

New hire girl at work and we immediately clicked. Had first date within the week and it went too well. I had been looking for a new job months before she arrived because I wanted to move back closer to my family. Fate has ways to play with my feelings and this happens often. I thought everything was going well, I've settled enough being away from family and friends, now I have a date who I know would become my gf soon enough.
2 days after the first date I get the offer letter and I accepted it. I resigned and before I get to tell her my boss spreads the news around and because of it, she takes it the wrong way. We had plan to watch a movie at my place that night and she became distant as she consults to her guy best friend (I'm not comfortable with as I feel they may have feelings with each other but I put up with it as it's not my place to separate them). I convinced her to come and she mentioned she almost didn't as her best friend said not to.
I explained the whole story and she was understanding. We began watching the movie and halfway through we're making out and continued to go further. We stop before reaching third base as she thought it would be a bad idea and I respected her wishes.
We continued to date but she decided to switch to being friends as she didn't want to miss me when I move in a week. This hurt a lot, I got drunk that night to fall asleep. Overtime she became more distant and made reasons to not making it to our hangout plans the rest of the week. She decided to hangout on my last day not to hangout but needed me to help her move an appliance. I feel used and still hurting knowing she doesn't want to be with me. I understood but i had hopes maybe we can try long distance.
Weeks after my move I found out she's flying her best friend to her place whose at the opposite of the country to hangout for over a week. She wanted me to take her to hiking as I knew the place very well but my assumption that her best friend will be visiting so they can go instead without me in the picture. I think I'm overthinking but I'm hurt and bawling my eyes knowing she's moved on when she says she still wants to meet. We tried to text since I moved but she has been very dried in replying that I can't message back anymore. It just hurts.

Hey everyone just a simple question as I am about to host an event soon. I (24M) like to host functions at my house. When the summer and special occasions is around I invite 30-70 people who all around my age with a few tiny bit older and normally send an invite in advance(most people 1-3 week notice and the close friends a month in advance). Only three times out of probably 30+ parties I host that I invite 20+ people, I have more than 50% show up. I make a rule for myself if they keep telling me maybe for three events in a row and don't show up I will just don't invite them aswell 90% won't invite again if they just keep my message on read. However, I constantly get those maybes or I will let you know text with rarely a follow up. I normally like a yes or a no as it be easier to track, I normally buy all the drinks and snacks. I do want to see how much things I need to buy to be a good amount without over boarding.
Should I reach out to people that say maybes in the past 2-3 weeks ago to confirm for a head count or should go by my own rule/your own(the reader's) advice?

The defense and the prosecution today made their closing statements in the New York criminal case against Trump for falsifying business records to hide a $130,000 payment to adult film actress Stephanie Clifford, also known as Stormy Daniels. The payment was intended to stop her account of her sexual encounter with Trump from becoming public in the days before the 2016 election, when the Trump campaign was already reeling from the Access Hollywood tape showing Trump boasting of sexual assault.
The Biden-Harris campaign showed up at the trial today with veteran actor Robert DeNiro and former police officers Michael Fanone and Harry Dunn, who protected the U.S. Capitol and members of Congress from rioters on January 6, 2021. In words seemingly calculated to get under Trump’s skin, DeNiro said, “We New Yorkers used to tolerate him when he was just another grubby real estate hustler masquerading as a big shot,” and called him a coward.
When Robert Costa of CBS News asked campaign spokesperson Michael Tyler why they had shown up at the trial, Tyler answered: “Because you all are here. You’ve been incessantly covering this day in and day out, and we want to remind the American people ahead of the…first debate on June 27 of the unique, persistent, and growing threat that Donald Trump poses to the American people and to our democracy. So since you all are here, we’re here communicating that message.”
Yesterday, in remarks at Arlington National Cemetery in observance of Memorial Day, President Joe Biden honored “the sacrifice of the hundreds of thousands of women and men who’ve given their lives for this nation. Each one…a link in the chain of honor stretching back to our founding days. Each one bound by common commitment—not to a place, not to a person, not to a President, but to an idea unlike any idea in human history: the idea of the United States of America.”
“[F]reedom has never been guaranteed,” Biden said. “Every generation has to earn it; fight for it; defend it in battle between autocracy and democracy, between the greed of a few and the rights of many…. And just as our fallen heroes have kept the ultimate faith with our country and our democracy, we must keep faith with them,” he said.
His speech at Arlington echoed the message he delivered to this year’s graduating class at the United States Military Academy at West Point, where he urged the graduates to hold fast to their oaths. “On your very first day at West Point, you raised your right hands and took an oath—not to a political party, not to a president, but to the Constitution of the United States of America—against all enemies, foreign and domestic,” he said to applause. Soldiers “have given their lives for that Constitution. They have fought to defend the freedoms that it protects: the right to vote, the right to worship, the right to raise your voice in protest. They have saved and sacrificed to ensure, as President Lincoln said, a ‘government of the people, by the people, and for the people shall not perish from the Earth.’”
“[N]othing is guaranteed about our democracy in America. Every generation has an obligation to defend it, to protect it, to preserve it, to choose it,” he said. “Now, it’s your turn.” Biden spent more than an hour saluting and shaking the hand of each graduate.
In contrast, Trump ushered in Memorial Day with a post on his social media company, saying: “Happy Memorial Day to All, including the Human Scum that is working so hard to destroy our Once Great Country, & to the Radical Left, Trump Hating Federal Judge in New York that presided over, get this, TWO separate trials, that awarded a woman, who I never met before (a quick handshake at a celebrity event, 25 years ago, doesn’t count!), 91 MILLION DOLLARS for “DEFAMATION.” He then continued to attack E. Jean Carroll, the writer who successfully sued him for defamation, before turning to attack Judge Arthur Engoron, who presided over the civil case of Trump and the Trump Organization falsifying documents, and Judge Juan Merchan, who is presiding over the current criminal case in New York.
The message behind this extraordinary post was twofold: Trump can think of nothing but himself…and he appears to be terrified.
On Saturday, May 25, Trump had an experience quite different from his usual reception at rallies of hand-picked supporters. He was resoundingly booed at the national convention of the Libertarian Party in Washington, D.C., where Secret Service agents confiscated squeaky rubber chickens before his speech. Attendees jeered Trump’s order, “You have to combine with us,” even when he reminded them of his libertarian credentials—tax cuts and defunding of federal equality programs—and promised to pardon the January 6 rioters who attacked the U.S. Capitol.
Trump also promised to pardon Ross Ulbricht, who founded and from January 2011 to October 2013 ran an online criminal marketplace called Silk Road, where more than $200 million in illegal drugs and other illicit goods and services, such as computer hacking, were bought and sold. Most of the sales were of drugs, with the Silk Road home page listing nearly 13,000 options, including heroin, cocaine, ecstasy, and LSD. The wares were linked to at least six deaths from overdose around the world. In May 2015, Ulbricht was sentenced to life in prison and was ordered to forfeit more than $180 million.
Libertarians want Ulbricht released because they support drug legalization on the grounds that people should be able to make their own choices and they see Ulbricht’s sentence as government overreach. Trump has repeatedly called for the death penalty for drug dealers, making his promise to pardon Ulbricht an illustration of just how badly he thinks he needs the support of Libertarian voters. But they refused to endorse him.
Trump appeared angry, and on Sunday, as Greg Sargent reported in The New Republic, he reposted a video of a man raging at MSNBC host Joe Scarborough. In it, the man says that when Trump is reelected: “He’ll get rid of all you f*cking liberals. You liberals are gone when he f*cking wins. You f*cking blowjob liberals are done. Uncle Donnie’s gonna take this election—landslide. Landslide, you f*cking half a blowjob. Landslide. Get the f*ck out of here, you scumbag.”
Trump’s elevation of this video, Sargent notes, is a dangerous escalation of his already violent rhetoric, and yet it has gotten very little media attention.
Last November, Matt Gertz of Media Matters reported that ABC News, CBS News, and NBC News provided 18 times more coverage of 2016 Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton’s comment at a fundraising event that “you could put half of Trump’s supporters into what I call the basket of deplorables” who are “racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, Islamophobic,” than they provided of Trump’s November 2023 promise to “root out the communist, Marxist, fascist and the radical left thugs that live like vermin within the confines of our country.”
CNN, the Fox News Channel, and MSNBC mentioned the “deplorables” comment nearly 9 times more than Trump’s “vermin” language. The ratio for the five highest-circulating U.S. newspapers was 29:1.
Clinton’s statement was consistent with polling, and she added that the rest of Trump’s supporters were “people who feel that the government has let them down, the economy has let them down, nobody cares about them, nobody worries about what happens to their lives and their futures, and they’re just desperate for change.” She said: “Those are people we have to understand and empathize with as well.”
Sargent noted that news stories require context and that Trump’s elevation of the violent video should be placed alongside his many threats to prosecute his enemies. While there is often concern over disrespect toward right-wing voters, Sargent writes, there has been very little attention to the presumptive Republican presidential nominee’s posting of “a video that declares a large ideological subgroup of Americans ‘done’ and ‘gone’ if he is elected.”
Scott MacFarlane of CBS News reported yesterday that Republicans have ignored a law passed in March 2022 requiring the placement of a small plaque honoring police officers who protected the U.S. Capitol and the lawmakers and staffers there on January 6, 2021. It was supposed to be in place by March 2023 but has not gone up. A spokesperson for House speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA) says his office is working on it. Kayla Tausche of CNN reported today that three of the police officers at the Capitol that day—Sergeant Aquilino Gonell and Officer Harry Dunn, both retired, and Officer Daniel Hodges, who is still with the Washington, D.C., metropolitan police—will be traveling to swing states for the Biden campaign to tell voters that Trump threatens Americans’ fundamental rights.
Finally, today, Melinda French Gates, co-founder of the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, announced $1 billion in new spending over the next two years “for people and organizations working on behalf of women and families around the world, including on reproductive rights in the United States.” Only 2% of charitable giving in the U.S. goes to these organizations, she wrote the New York Times, and “[f]or too long, a lack of money has forced organizations fighting for women's rights into a defensive posture while the enemies of progress play offense. I want to help even the match.”
—
Notes:
https://www.politico.com/news/2024/05/26/libertarians-reject-trump-rfk-chase-oliver-presidential-nominee-00160040
https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/speeches-remarks/2024/05/27/remarks-by-president-biden-at-the-156th-national-memorial-day-observance-arlington-va/
https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/speeches-remarks/2024/05/25/remarks-by-president-biden-in-commencement-address-to-the-united-states-military-academy-at-west-point-west-point-ny/
https://newrepublic.com/article/181973/trump-media-attacks-media-dangerous-turn
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/congress-fails-to-install-plaque-honoring-jan-6-police-officers/
https://www.cnn.com/2024/05/28/politics/biden-campaign-january-6-officers/index.html
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c722qy5dzlgo
https://www.politico.com/news/2024/05/25/trump-commute-ross-ulbricht-sentence-libertarian-convention-00160025
https://www.ice.gov/news/releases/ross-ulbricht-aka-dread-pirate-roberts-sentenced-life-federal-prison-creating
https://www.businessinsider.com/trump-is-spotlighting-ross-ulbricht-silk-road-appeal-to-libertarians-2024
https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/4305566-trump-doubles-down-death-penalty-for-drug-dealers/
https://www.mediamatters.org/donald-trump/major-news-outlets-gave-much-less-coverage-trumps-vermin-attack-then-they-did-clintons
https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/4687060-donald-trump-squeaky-chicken-libertarian-controversy/
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/28/opinion/melinda-french-gates-reproductive-rights.html
The Dworkin ReportDe Niro and Jan 6 Heroes Unload on Trump Outside NY TrialRobert De Niro just showed up outside the New York City courthouse, where Trump is facing 34 felony counts. Rightwing lunatics are already trying to start conspiracy theories lying and saying that thi…Read more8 hours ago · 765 likes · 132 comments · Scott Dworkin
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Please bare with me as this will be a long one, it's my first ever post on reddit.
TW of child loss.
I (32f) my FH (35m) are getting married august this year. We live in Australia in a different state to both sides of our family. As we thought instead of picking between the two states we are from, we will have it where we are now.
History as I know all you lot love the background stories. We met in 2019, through tinder(in the state we currently both are atm). It was love at first sight for me. I already had a son who in 2019 was 8yo. My son adorned my partner, he would talk about future siblings and us getting married. Which led my partner n I picking wedding songs and talking about marriage. In 2021 my partner n I were a bit rocky. But my world came crashing apart when I got a phone call my son passed in a car crash. I flew back to my home state and well as you can imagine I was a mess. My family which I hadn't spoken to in 4 years due to being accused for something I did not do. They found out I didn't. But long story short I was in the head space to nit pick. My sons funeral happened and well I just got left by all my siblings to do the clean up my self while they went to the after do. I missed it. I'm only one person and I got blamed and made to feel like crap for it. And a lot other shit. In other words three of my siblings are arseholes. If they dont get their way. My sister we'll call her Petal(24), brothers Steve (31) n Bob (27).
My partner n I always stayed in contact but we spilt as he was still in the state we met. His boss wouldn't let him take time off etc. In the beginning 2023 I came back to the state to organise my sons stuff. Realising this man kept everything of his and mine in the same spot. He still looked after my cat n dog after all that time also. We rekindled and both realised the flame was always still there for each other. So by September last year we were ready to move forward with life as short as it is announce to our family's save the dates. Via Txt as we both have huge families, we would save the money this way.
A few weeks go by. I get a phone call from Steve. (Whom I havent spoken to since before coming up here as I had enough of always being cancelled on or never picking up my calls or barely responding to my texts) So I was like why am I getting a call. Turns out I just got questions after questions... well statements 'you never asked me to move' 'mum will be staying with me not you on your wedding' 'im not babysitting joey' youngest brother 12yo we I stated he would be other brother Dale (second youngest 21- they are all my siblings from my mother's side) as they are always together when Dale visits. I just focused on the positive. I knew he was wanting me to bite. Then when I was explaining joey would be walking behind my nieces with my sons photo Steve interrupted when are you getting married and laughed. He then said no, His daughter wasn't going to be wearing a dress she'll be wearing the same as her dad... and laughed. at the beginning of his save the date I put 'Aunty would love niece to be a flower girl if she would like' Remember no contact since this phone call at all. So I thought he was joking as he laughed. He then started repeating she was wearing the same as him. He also asked why would joey be following them and as I was explaining what I was thinking as my son would've wanted his cousins up there with him. I got cut off. I just planned all this and I said no I asked and you never responded. You never said no even when I spoke about the dresses. Apparently I just don't know what no sounds like and I've not changed and she is HIS flower girl for when him and his partner get married. I understand wanting your child to be apart of your wedding.... hence why I was trying to do what I know damn sure my boy would have done - to the point if they weren't in the party he would walk up to them n get them to help throw petal down the isle. I was upset. He rambled on and yelled shit at me and hung up when I said well if you didn't want her being a flower girl you could've just said it straight out.
I am still upset but I'm only upset due to he only brought it up when I was talking about what my son would want. If he had a problem with it why didn't he say it before hand. Later mum(51) found out him n his partner were upset I was getting married before them ( they have been engaged since 2021 and no mention of a wedding date) and they didn't want their daughter being someone else's flower girl before hand. Which again I understand so why not say that instead of starting the shit?
The next day Bob decided to tell me he couldn't come to the wedding as he doesn't know what his life would bring him to be doing then 🤦🏼‍♀️
Anyway I start to move forward with wedding planning . I let a friend know, as i was going to ask her to be a Bm. After saying getting married she bloody laughed so hard like i told the most funniest joke ever.... her daughter came in she is still laughing n said ' can you believe they are getting married' while wiping away tears from her eyes she laughed so hard. So I decided not to mention the bm part. She later started telling me what I should do for colours, who the bms should be, that the best man wears something different to the groomsmen. Etc. It was getting out of hand and everytime I mentioned we had decided what we are doing already is was wrong .... until she decided to make a competition with my unaware mother 'she better wear a dress or ill look better then her. Maybe even you' so I cut her out of my social group, my partner still thinks she was just helping. He needs the fog to clear.
I ask my best friend who I have known since 2017 and who was still there for me through the hard time of my son passing and still is to this day. Kel(43f) to be my MOH. My two sisters Petal n Kay(28f on father's side) as bridesmaids. As iTs tHe rIgHt tHiNg to do 🤦🏼‍♀️ at first I thought petal would flake first. If it's not her way she'll make some sort of version (even if it's LIES) that you did her wrong. I picked the dresses they were more then happy to pay for them. $160 ish each(aus). Well Kay went Mia for a few weeks. Then in January this year asked me if the place accepted afterpay. I said I know they accept Kalana or what ever its called. N then she was busting her arse for me to check.... she had the website I asked if she had her flights and accommodation prebooked. Nothing. As I was going to offer to pay for the dress if she was struggling. So I offered for her to come as a guest. 2 weeks NOT A SINGLE WORD. Not answering my calls or texts that wasn't even about the wedding. Its now Feb. I ask my cousin to be a back BM she was more then happy n as I was on the phone to her Kay said ' im getting a job so it'll be all sorted' now Kay is a sister who will take advantage for other people's hand outs. Where we are the closer to august you leave it your looking at 1600 n back minimum. N the week we are getting married not only with it be tourist session but race day also ( we forgot about race day 😅) After explaining this to her she decided with many more weeks in between she'll not come to the wedding at all.
So then it was my BF, petal and cousin.
Two weeks ago I got asked by my fathers (he is a dead beat) sister if he was invited. Long story short, I'm the child he never wanted. He never met my son at all while he was alive and loves to cause drama when it's not about him. He was a junkie when I first met him. So I politely said sorry no he is not and sorry for putting you in this position.
Just up until last week petal flaked. Family drama was happening and I pulled her up on her lies she had put in a group chat. She hadn't spoken to me since May. She would read the wedding chat but not respond. And I found out she had me on mute. Laste week I messaged her on the group chat, our private chat and text her can you aleast let me know whats going on. She came back with ' im not coming nor will I be in your wedding' I thanked her for letting me know. Went in the group chat for the wedding n she had already removed herself. N I blocked her shortly after my mum called. Mum had asked if I had heard from Petal. I told her what happened. Well, mum Being a mum was like 'ill get to the bottom of this' She asked why are you not part of the wedding anymore. My sister turned n said its not of your business. N then said I blocked her from the chat a while ago and I have not once messaged her n I'm mean. Mum caught her out n said she seen her lil picture keep up with the messaged just today etc. N she just banged on how no one understands her. So I blocked her.
I have now asked for my partners Sister to be a bm and she's more then happy to and I paid for her dress straight away so it should arrive to her before she is due to come up.
I found out in April my son will finally be a older brother like he always wanted. This is a miracle baby as I've had a few health problems with my uterus. To the point doctors said I might not even be able to do IVF. My partner n I are over the moon. I am in a a place where I'm happy and upset because my son is not here to witness what he always wanted. We have only told those that have been supportive, mu mum Dale and joey and my Sil.
All the stress of just my family has taken its toll. We have already paid majority of the wedding off and can't elope. I've lost all happiness for our day. I'm scared my father will rock up (he is spiteful like that) n im just deflated. With the add stress of being now 12weeks pregnant and still worried I could lose it at any point.
I have gotten all their jewellery, personalised pjs since Kay was involved. Personalised gifts and im paying for their hair and make up.
Kel my Moh is ready to go on a witch hunt. She's pissed that I have let it all go on for so long. So I'm trying to see if I am in the right or if I am in the wrong.
Am I being the Arsehole ? Bridezilla? Just feels no matter what happens in my life it's not good enough. If anything needs clearing up please let me know. Sorry for the long post. Thankyou in advance And if anyone has any advice ? Thankyou

I was at the grocery store this evening when I saw the first woman who ever asked me to be their sponsor. Despite me telling her how the sponsosponsee relationship worked for me, (calling everyday, meeting each other once a week, reading the Big Book, doing the steps, etc) she really thought that all she needed to do was go to meetings and call me if she felt tempted to drink. She came to two or three meetings and she called me twice and sent me one text message. I haven't seen or heard anything from her in years. Tonight there were 7 or 8 gallon sized bottles of wine in her cart. She avoided me and I tried to not look at her with such pity on my face, but I don't think I succeeded. I really hope she finds her way back into the rooms one day before it's too late. And I am so thankful that I have a program of recovery and don't have to live like that anymore. I'm thankful that because of a God of my understanding and the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous the obsession to drink has been lifted and has been gone for a few years now. And I hope and pray that she too will one day know a new happiness and a new freedom.

So this is my story , I honestly need advice and for someone to understand me. Here goes nothing ! Back in 2013 I was in a relationship with a guy (Jake ) & he had a child’s mother ( Layla ) . At first I was cordial with Layla because Jake lived with me. However Jake turned out to be a HUGE whore. Well more of a bum . So a bummy whore. Layla wanted her family with him which I understood however he was my boyfriend. She would use the baby to get him to be with her while I was at work. Layla would purposefully post like they were in a relationship knowing that he lived with me . I would attempt to break up with him , he would just beg and tell me lies. I was 20 and stupid. I stayed until one day I was fed up of the back and forth and explained to Jake I was done with the back and forth between Layla & I. At that moment he put a play in action to get me pregnant. He succeeded. I was completely mortified at the fact I was now stuck with this situation. When I posted my pregnancy my car window was busted out . This is where the stalking started. I noticed every hair style I wore she would copy & the outfits , my poses for pictures. Even vacations I took with my kids . I found messages between Layla & Jake . She asked him “what is it about Sophie? That you won’t leave her alone.” My mind was blown that’s not normal for me . After I left Jake for good it didn’t matter . Layla & her friends would watch all of my social media platforms. They constantly bullied me online . Called my phone and told me they hoped my baby would be mentally challenged. Layla had her brother shoot at my new car. She told people she would come to the hospital and punch me off of the hospital bed after I gave birth. The whole time this is taking place . She’s filing restraining orders on me lying to the police trying to have me put in jail. I moved 45 minutes away to get some peace. However that didn’t last they couldn’t physically drive past my house but used social media to harass me. Any guy I was seen with Layla tried to date or even sleep with. I started dating another guy and thought I was free aside from the shade being thrown on the internet. Well that didn’t last for long because once the new guy Rick’s ex Patty caught wind they became a task force bullying me everyday. I had moved back to my town however no one knew where. One day I got fed up and beat Patty up & took her phone 🫣. What I found inside was messages talking about me , pictures of me & my house. Talking about my children and trying to get me fired from my job . Layla was telling Patty my phone number . They said they were going to bully me until I unalived myself. I broke it off with Rick after the gang came to my house and busted my windows out !
I moved on & got pregnant. I thought it was over until one day I realized it wasn’t. Layla at this point spent 6 years studying my online persona. She would tell anyone she meets I’m obsessed with her while she talked , dressed & acted like me. I gained so much weight that I got a butt she went and bought one. Layla moved 10 blocks away from me & then proceeded to move her business 5 minutes away from my house . I started seeing her a the local stores & she would pull up to the pump next to me & sit in her car watching me. After doing this 7 times & reaching out to my mother who I have no relationship with . I was served with a restraining order. I went to court & she admitted in open court that in the last year i did none of the things she stated in the paperwork which got me served in the first place . The cases was dismissed. This happened in 2023 . In 2024 , 7 months later she text me asking to meet up to talk . I did thinking finally she is ready to be an adult & let this shit go ! I was WRONG AF ! She told me I was obsessed with her and I’m crazy ! She said you think about me so much your business wouldn’t be failing if you stopped caring about me . Layla then stated she doesn’t think Is “Sophie wearing panties or a bra.” She brought up my kids and how I’m struggling. Said that she wants to know what wrong with me & “are you in a competition with me”. Brought up my daughter who she’s never seen or met in real life. She knew me & my daughter’s dad wasn’t together.
I don’t want to keep going because it’s way more ! I am scared because how long does it take for someone to move on ! Advice please!!!

This past weekend my ex boyfriend threatened via text message to buy a gun and kill my current boyfriend. He then left the house and set out on foot to follow through with the threat. Shortly after leaving the house, the police intercepted him. Ultimately, the police did not detain him and released him back into the custody of some friends because he did not have a gun on him at that point.
Prior to this weekend, my ex and my boyfriend were in a wedding party together. They were both groomsmen, and the bachelor party was this weekend. My ex began to experience a serious mental health crisis and dropped out of the wedding, then suddenly became very angry and made the threats detailed above.
My ex currently lives in the state of Arizona. My boyfriend lives in Georgia and the wedding is also in Georgia. My ex traveled to the state of Georgia with the intentions of confronting me, my boyfriend, and the rest of the wedding party this weekend. Additionally, he has my current boyfriend’s home address and threatened to show up at his house if he had to. Also, my boyfriend works at the airport where my ex has flown in/out of. My ex flew back to Arizona on Monday and is no longer in Georgia. My boyfriend had to call out of work that day out of fear that my ex would confront him at the airport.
Do my boyfriend and I have grounds to file a restraining order against my ex? What does that process look like if my ex lives in a different state? If there aren’t grounds for a permanent restraining order, are we able to at least get a temporary restraining order to protect ourselves at future wedding related events?

Part of my neurodivergence is it being sometimes extremely difficult to write my thoughts out. My main way of communicating typically is through voice messages. I really would like to know one to a few people that are interested in communicating on Telegram with text and voice messages. I'm new to ADHD medicine since September and would really benefit from talking to others that are on the medicine and understand or are in the process and want to relate and reach out sometimes together.
Please let me know if any one is interested and I'll start a group on there🙏🏼

Long story short I gave this guy my number I barely knew but we saw eachother daily for like a year. I changed jobs.
Without fail, for the past 2 months, we have texted at least once a day. Actually, probably only once a day most of the time. Like one message bubble each.
Every time it's about how our days are. Like sporadically. Any time of the day, night, early morning, late night. We always try to respond. I would text more frequently but apparently he's out of service a lot. And he hasn't texted frequently to my frequent texts so I cooled it down, even though he said to triple text him whenever.
I have carried this conversation and tried to make it exciting. I have asked to go out 3 times in a very nonchalant way.
We have established we both don't know what we're looking for but at this point I'm looking for ANY insight into WHAT is going on. He literally only sends a few different variations of "how's your day. mine's good thanks for asking."
I don't believe I'm this guy's side anything. I have no clue any angle, if any, he could be playing at. I've given him every opportunity to ghost. And yet here we are. I just might be the one ghosting lol, if I weren't stubborn enough to see this thru because goddammit I gave this guy my number.
I have tried everything short of saying I want to smash and sending him a nude. Is someone this dedicated to just troll me like this 😭 Lol

So her's the story. I meet a japanese girl on a language related discord kn january, she DM me because she wanted me to help with her french br finaly we mostly text and talk together in japanese her french is terible and she don't dare speak it i try to cheer her up on this topic. She arrived in france 2 weeks ago and we meet 2 days after (we didn't knew how did each other looked before meeting) but when i was about to pay the meal she insisted to do it so i let her. After that we spent a quite fun moment we spoke and walked for around 3h she found me very funny and i realy apreciated her. She laughed a lot shs was quite joyful and smiling. She is also quite interesting it's rare for a japanese to publicly tell her political opinions.
So i brought her to her train station and asked to see each other again once she also offered me cakes from okinawa she bought before coming in france. invited her in versailles we will go this friday. She sent me this emoji when i sent her the ticket : 🥰. But on the other hand she often take time to answer my messages so i am quite insecure about thah even if she seems to be quit appealed to see me again idk what to think i fear to be friendzoned. Do you think i amon the good path ? Is our next meeting a date ? Up to this day i never had any girlfriend.
TL;DR so i meet a gril we are meeting again and i fear to be friendzoned becaus i never had a gf before and i want to know how to avoid that and want to make her understand thah this is supposed to be a date without saying ''i want to take you on a date''.

def add_experience(self, experience): self.experiences.append(experience) def simulate(self): quantum_instance = Aer.get_backend('qasm_simulator') optimizer = COBYLA(maxiter=100) vqe = VQE(ansatz=RealAmplites(self.num_qubits, reps=2), optimizer=optimizer, quantum_instance=quantum_instance) result = vqe.compute_minimum_eigenvalue() return result.eigenvalue 

def add_symbolic_sequence(self, sequence): self.symbolic_sequences.append(sequence) def enhanced_introspection(self): return sum(len(seq) for seq in self.symbolic_sequences) 

toolbox = base.Toolbox() toolbox.register("attr_float", np.random.rand) toolbox.register("individual", tools.initRepeat, creator.Individual, toolbox.attr_float, n=10) toolbox.register("population", tools.initRepeat, list, toolbox.individual) toolbox.register("evaluate", lambda ind: (sum(ind),)) toolbox.register("mate", tools.cxTwoPoint) toolbox.register("mutate", tools.mutGaussian, mu=0, sigma=1, indpb=0.2) toolbox.register("select", tools.selTournament, tournsize=3) population = toolbox.population(n=100) algorithms.eaSimple(population, toolbox, cxpb=0.5, mutpb=0.2, ngen=10, verbose=False) return population 

[CW: talk of ableism and trauma]
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TL;DR: My dad said to my mom when I took out my new fidget toy after a fairly traumatic day: “he’s (not my preferred pronouns) just going into ‘Autistic Mode’”. He said that he would look into group homes tomorrow again because I “treat them like shit”. I shut down around them, and have been doing so for at least a week or more. I don’t have a job, freshly graduated from college as of December, and I have been struggling to get interviews. I have been using my university’s career services and got accepted into Vocational Rehab, but my parents keep threatening to kick me out of the house and be done with me.
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For reference, I am highly confident I am Autistic and ADHD, but I have not been officially diagnosed. I have a referral and am in the process. My med manager is treating me with non-stimulants which work well and have increased executive function. I have also been exploring my being queer over the last few years, but only recently tried to explain to my parents in totality last November.
I knew they are queerphobic, and I knew that I annoy / upset them when I don’t talk and engage, and that when I talk it’s too much and not about the right thing. I just wanted to believe I was wrong. I wanted to believe I was reading into things because I’ve had so many past experiences where what I felt and what I thought turned out to be false. And they say they love me, and they love me so much that they hate to see me in pain, and so I wanted to believe that it’s true.
The last few days have been hard. My parents had family friends over (that have known me since I was a baby, and they have two adult children that didn’t come this round) for memorial day weekend from out of state. Since seeing the friends last, I have been doing a lot of self-discovery and further accepting the queer parts of myself. I hadn’t been planning to change my name, until by happenstance I found one online that I wanted to be mine due to it's simplicity and androgynous nature. But my parents (and my brother, though he has trans friends) have not been supportive. I just thought they raised me and gave me a name they picked out and so didn’t want to use a new one. It doesn’t make it better, but it’s something.
But they have made it clear in past conversations that it would be unfair for me to tell family friends and extended relatives. And so I spent all of last week before the weekend trying to debate whether I should tell the family friends that were coming over in a text message before they arrived. I tried to summon the courage, but I ended up not doing that. So when I first saw them, I shut down when their first words were “Hey, ”. I decided that I would make myself scarce because I knew I would just keep shutting down and having trouble speaking with them. Literally, it would be the same as with my parents where either the words don’t come or I don’t have the energy to get them past my throat.
So, I tried to be polite when I saw them and just didn’t engage in extensive conversation. When they left, my dad told me I was rude and selfish, and that I need to write them a letter to apologize. I ended up sending them a text today to apologize (didn't explain everything), but I didn’t want to send a letter because I am tired of using my dead name, and I would need to sign it.
I have been trying to avoid my parents even though we live in the same house because I don’t have a job yet. I recently graduated from college in December, but I have not been able to get interviews. I have been making use of my university’s career services and made appointments with the head of engineering to make my resume more appealing in terms of software engineering. I graduated with Interdisciplinary Studies focusing on Computer Science, Creative Writing, and Linguistics. I just want a job right now, and computer jobs pay well. I am hoping to figure out something beneficial in Creative Writing later, maybe Ghost Writing or something that might pay better than that. I also got accepted to use Vocational Rehab, and so I have been working with them.
But, since I am avoiding my parents, they believe I am trying to make it clear that I hate them. They consistently say that I “treat them like shit” and I am “lazy and just want an easy life”. Today has been a hard day after all the turmoil over the last week, and so I have had very little energy. I thought I could be experiencing depression, but I know what that feels like and where it leads. I am not there yet. So, I think the best word to describe it is probably dejected. Like the people who are constantly in my life don’t want me. In the late afternoon, I decided I didn’t just want to sit up in my room anymore, so I drove down to my bookstore to browse, and then checked to see if I could refill my meds. I had about an hour where I started feeling happy and enjoying myself, especially being able to browse the books and look at the descriptions on the back and recording the ones I want to read for later.
When I got home for dinner so my parents didn’t get mad, it was like all that happiness disappeared the moment I saw them. I could not move my face even if I wanted to, to pretend like I was cheery and all right. We got dinner out, and then I sat down. The counselor I like seeing at career services is also an ADHDer. I saw her last week to go over more plans for jobs, and she showed me the various baskets of stim toys she keeps on her bookshelf to hand out to students. She gave me one that’s a tightly knit, long rectangle and has a small glass ball inside. You squeeze it and the ball moves back and forth.
I haven’t used stim toys much growing up because I thought I was supposed to bear all the frustration and anxiety. But I have been trying to treat myself kinder over the last few months. So, I’ve been taking that stim toy with me, and had it when I went to the bookstore. With dinner set up, my parents were trying to get me to interact and “be better”. Without thinking, I took out the stim toy. My dad said I was going into “Autistic Mode” and that they can’t do anything. He will look at group homes again tomorrow.
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Up until that moment, I had doubts. I thought that they really were trying to accept me and it was just hard, especially with all the queerness and years of mental health management (since 2019 when I broke down). But over the last month or so, I’ve had various times where I needed to record my mental health history for intake and I started talking about my parents and how I am starting to recognize the gaslighting and emotional abuse.
I have also been trying hard to remember the good moments. But I can't remember a moment where I was showing signs I am clearly Autistic or ADHD, and that they genuinely enjoyed and loved it. Especially as I've gotten older. I remember them expecting me to get good grades in school from the beginning. If it wasn't "A"s they were upset, and if I failed a test they told me to study again and took me down to school to convince the teacher to let me test again. If I couldn't prove I knew the material and the teacher didn't let me retake it, then I was shunned on the way home.
I want so much to be wrong. I want so much for them to be right and that it's me who is abusing them like they say it is. I don't know why--I don't really feel any emotional love for them and I don't think I ever did, I just don't want them to suffer--but if I am the one who's hurting them then maybe I can change and stop. Maybe I can get better and show them love and be nice to them like they deserve. I wouldn't need to make a plan to estrange myself from them when I am on my feet to better take care of myself. I wish it was me.
I don't know why I am writing all of this. You all have your own problems and don't need to load on mine, and I am not going to pretend I have it the worst even just in my own city. I also feel manipulative, like I am only writing the bad parts and that I should try to remember and describe the good parts.
I just don't have anyone I can talk to right now. I have been out of therapy for a few months. I have been on wait lists for more experienced therapists dealing with gender-affirming care, since that has become a bigger problem. I have something scheduled for the middle of next month with a more general therapist and a referral to a specialized therapist as well.
But I just want to talk to someone who understands. I don't have that in my life. When doctors ask me if I have anyone I can just vent to or trust, I can't think of anyone. I have one friend, but since graduating we only meet up once a month. I can share a lot with her and she is supportive, but then I feel like that one meeting is filled with me trying to vent and seek therapy from her. I don't really want more social interaction, but I want to feel like someone sees me, the real me, and they actually like what they see.
I plan to call the suicide hotline tomorrow. Not because I am suicidal, but because I was told I don't need to be suicidal to call. I know my parents will hear me on the phone if I call tonight, and I don't really want to spend a long time writing out the words in a text to the text number to explain everything when the person on the other end might not be able to fully understand, and so they would just tell me what they think I need to hear. But I guess I'd get the same from the phone call.
I don't know how to wrap this up, and it sounds when I read this over like I am quite lucid and therefore being petty by putting this here. I am lucid, but it doesn't really help me feel better. I can't lie to myself anymore; I've been trying so hard to not lie to myself when I spot it. I am sorry for the long rambling and various tangents. I just want to put this somewhere where people might understand.