Hi everyone, it’s my first time posting here. I held back from saying anything but for some reason I was pushed to post this today. I am a male DF, and currently in separation from my twin. This might be a longer one, so whomever takes their valuable time to read this; I appreciate you and I hope you get the best in your life (this goes for anyone who might troll too).
So my journey started back in June of 2022. I met my TF at the gym. Same ethnic background, same age, and weirdly enough; when I showed my mom a picture of her, she said that we looked related. My friend literally was in shock when he realized that we have the same eyes. There was one problem though…..she was married. We kept it as friends for a bit but the more we communicated, the more we realized and agreed that this relationship between us wasn’t normal. On my end, I saw repeating numbers, animals following me around (specifically 2 crows), and even one time where she hugged me and I swear to God that I heard her say “I love you too” in my head. A few weeks later, she said the real thing in person. Things evolved quick…like super quick. And I found out the truth about her marriage. She’s from a different country, and the marriage wasn’t founded upon love. It wasn’t arranged, she just made a stupid mistake that she regretted. But, it was the reason she came to America. It was really toxic. Like every sort of abuse you can imagine except for physical. She wanted to leave, but she needed money and was afraid of how her parents would react back home. She needed a job, and she was trying to become to cop (ironically in the same city where my parents own a business and actually know everyone pretty much in the precinct). Our entire time together literally encompassed her initial academy test, all the way until the first week of her actual academy (10 months give or take). When I asked her if there’s a chance of us being together her response was “My biggest fear is that I keep you waiting because I don’t know WHEN I’m going to leave him”. This was very early on before she even had the job. I told her that I’d wait until I was 80 if I had to, and I meant it. A few months later, she told me that she saw a future with me.
We were so happy when we were together. We got closer and closer each week. There were times where I swear to God I would feel depressed out of nowhere and when I talked to her, she was too. We would find every excuse to hold a hand, give a hug, or even a kiss on the palms or forehead. We both got SUPER close to an intimate kiss many times, but we both had strong morals. Ironically enough, the very last I saw her, she finally caved and gave me a quick kiss on the lips. She was so embarrassed that she cracked, it was so cute lol.
We would communicate mainly through IG. Which is where in April of last year, she told me that her husband saw our messages. And to not text or call her anymore. No I’m sorry, no I love you, no good bye. I knew it wasn’t her who wrote that because she never used the word “husband”. It made her skin crawl when thinking of him like that. I know it was him who told her to write that or even wrote it himself.
Everything went dark. It literally was like that Homelander meme where all he hears is a ringing sound. I wanted to cry, but couldn’t. I called my mom. Oddly and calmly she said “This is the beginning of the end for her marriage. Trust me”. Which was odd because she always told me to move on and don’t talk to a married woman.
This happened 2 weeks before I turned 33. The age where everyone says is the Age of Enlightenment….yeah. Yup. Oh yeah. And here is where the unexplainable stuff started to happen. So she didn’t block me, or unfollow me for weeks. Until my mom called one day and said the police captain told her that she was in the academy and doing a great job so far. This was the first news I got about her since the separation. My mom talked to them about her during the interview process so they remembered. Literally as soon as I got off the phone, I checked IG……and she unfollowed me during that call.
I’ll try to be less granular here; but over the next year, I literally changed on a spiritual level. And others noticed. I became a mode of support for others. My empathy was unlike anything I’ve ever felt. And I started helping others in their spiritual journey. I have a friend who I train at the gym who started going through girl problems and I used my experiences here as a template to guide him. I’m different now….very different. In a great way. But I also feel like I’m legitimately going through a manic episode. Let me explain, here’s some more “weird” stuff that the ego cannot comprehend:
-Since last June, I’ve had vivid dreams about her. I would write down the dates of when they happened….nearly every single one of them took place during the 5 day windows of new/full moons
-Last June I got an INCREDIBLE pull in my heart. I started crying out of nowhere and my gut told me to go to the gym that second. I checked her IG and she had just deleted hundreds of followers (I was in the DNOTS and was checking every hour at that time). I think it was him deleted all her male friends, just a gut feeling.
-I’m seeing repeating numbers every single day. They would cycle as to what was the “hot” number at the time (the one that kept showing up the most). This includes 144 and her birthday especially since the Total eclipse in April (also, we separated the day after the last total eclipse in April 2023)
-I ask the universe/God for a sign to move on or stay, and within hours I get a weird sign that tells me to push forward. This happens like once a month
-Every bit of news I’ve gotten has come from the police officers. Back in April, my mom asked for a sign from God about this whole thingand they came in to tell us the first news in months just a few days after. Now she’s convinced this is all real and she’s coming back
-Speaking of, the news was that she moved to a different department in the force. One that was away from the field duties. Why is that weird? 2 days before we found out, I had an anxiety attack thinking about what if we get together and something bad happens to her. That fear was resolved with the move.
-There was a point where I would see multiple sets of butterflies every single day as I would drive around….in the winter here on the West Coast. I think I’ve seen maybe 2 since then. I guess symbolizing transformation
-Finally, right when I first met her I didn’t even get a feeling that she was my twin; I went to my close friend who reads and he said that I will be with a girl who is literally just like me, we will have a very quick and intense build-up, and I will know within a month that I want to marry her. The very next day I saw her for the first time in a week, and realized she was talking about her life almost exactly like she was telling me about mine. And 2 weeks later, I knew I wanted to marry her (this was before I found out the truth about her marriage, so it was a weird thing for me to think of)
If you’ve made it this far, thank you. Idk what I expect from writing this post. My intuition isn’t letting me give up on this and I’m pretty much in a “well, I’ll make myself better for her and I and help others along the way until she returns” mindset. I don’t care for other girls anymore, and that’s…calming. If you want to give advice, use my post for motivation on your own journey, provide some words of encouragement, or just tell me I’m crazy; I appreciate you, regardless. Shit, maybe one of you are supposed to give me a sign today, who knows.
One last thing; being a TF isn’t easy. It sucks. This is fucking hell. But….nothing worth it ever comes easy. Follow your gut, never give up, and most of all; never lose hope.
Thank you

I always thought old people hooking up was interesting. Like why? You know. I get it. Thought it was cute. When I asked they said it's this thing about how humans aren't designed to be alone. And they had this understanding between each other that's different than younger couples. Where they met their one. This was more to pass the time. It's how it goes.... Someone still has to mow the lawn...😉
Loving and being loved is such a beautiful thing between two people.
And so I understand... As I get older I get it. Doesn't mean I like it since I never really had that experience you know.
I'm not quite sure what will happen tomorrow or even next year. If anyone was to approach me to date I don't know what I would say at this point. Now that I know. Now that I understand. I'm just confused you know. Will they be able to override you in any way? I'm not into accomplishments, looks or personality...
Can anyone override how you made me feel the moment I first met you? Where my body lit up and there was something more? I've never had that happen with anyone else. And would I be considered a fraud having known the truth of what love really means to me. The soulful kind I experienced with you?
So I think about the possibilities. And I've met a lot of men throughout my life. No one made me feel anything. Ofc I wasn't rude or impolite. I just never really "felt" more... It was only by chance the others even had a chance. Based on lies.
So I wonder... How is it possible to feel this way about someone and not have them feel the same. Like what happened? Was there a mistake made in heaven when they made the announcement? Was my last name so hard to pronounce that some angel was like... "Cough" "cough"... Just put it on top of that one over there... We'll get to it later...
And i ended up being shuffled into your file. So I think of all these weird scenarios you know and laugh sometimes bc what else can you do. I have this string you yank at all the time. The way you pull on me. Feels like a tug of war with you. We're going back and forth. There's no end in sight. So I think when i start to venture and go out... Will I feel anything for someone else? I'm not going to close my self off. I just don't think there's more out there.
And I can't get over being with someone who dotes on me 100 % while I sit there trying to lower the volume on "this"... It's not fair to whomever. And I know some men would be like "I don't care... That's fine... You can have that"... Then you have to think do they even value themselves or the concept of what it means when you come together with someone.
I'm not looking forward to it. I'm just kinda gonna go out. And I'm going to try and see. Maybe I did enough that my file was reworked or something. Who knows. Maybe my lesson is to understand that I'm not meant to be with anyone... I've accepted that as well. It's just why give me the sweetest taste of it only to take it away? To leave me knowing what could have been?
It sounds like I'm making a comparison you know. Like I'm not giving someone else a chance. I guess at this point I should trust Gd more instead of everything that's transpired between us. Gd has always found ways to surprise me in the end with all sorts of stuff. I have to believe that's the case.

In 1945, the United States underwent Operation Paperclip which gave over 1,600 German scientists, engineers and technicians sanctuary and absolution of their crimes in exchange for the continuation of their research.
In 1953 the United States executed MK Ultra, an illegal human experiment that used its citizens (targeting schools, hospitals and prisons) as test subjects.
In 1954 Plum Island was turned into a research center for diseases.
In 1975 the first documented case of Lyme disease occurred. Rumored to have escaped Plum Island.
In 2005 the DHS announced that all the work done at Plum Island would be continued in Kansas. Not just the center of the continental United States, but also home to crops seen in grocery stores all over the country.
The following is a true story.
Getting into work, one of the first things I do is check my mail. I’ve been a reporter for years and have amassed fans who like to write in and give me leads. Most of the time these leads don't amount to much (Sometimes I wonder if people send me things because of my apophenia and they are trying to get me off their scent), but every once in a while I strike gold.
I had been working at Whisper Alley Echos for a few months by the time I got my first lead. The package I got was small and when I opened it I saw a DVD that had the words “play me” written in black marker on it. Not knowing what was on it, I waited until I got home to put it on. Not just because I didnt know what was on it, but I was also busy working on a different project about how everyone in a nearby town just went missing. The official story is that they all went on vacation or went to visit a relative and decided to stay. I dont know about you, but I found that suspicious.
After getting home and shifting gears to get into the movie mood (popcorn, blinds pulled, etc…) I popped the DVD in and began watching.
There were dozens of different videos to pick from, some ranging from a minute to half an hour. Instead of picking one at random, I just played them in order. After all, all their titles were dates and times and I didnt want to miss anything that might make sense later.
The first video featured a tardigrade, at the time I didnt know what it was, but the scientist doing the voice over described it as being a microscopic animal as well as being extremely resilient. This went on for several minutes and for a moment it felt as though I was watching a nature documentary instead of something given to me by a government whistleblower.
The next few videos featured footage of the tardigrades being given something called “BB-F828” and the changes it caused.
The voiceover talked about how a tardigrade (this time he called them water bears and the two terms were interchangeable from this point on) was showing signs of several thousand generations of evolution in only a few days. Even though I know nothing about science, I could see that the thing on the television was not the same animal that was shown in the first video.
While they were never “cute”, at least they never looked like predators, but after a few videos I saw that the tardigrades were covered in what appeared to be padding. In a later video this padding would change into being chitin-like armor.
The last video was filmed two months after the water bears were given BB-F828 and in it the scientists could see them even without a microscope.
The next morning I went into work and started writing on my computer, copying notes from my small notebook. However by the time I started the second draft, Andrea, the office secretary, dropped a letter off at my desk.
It was the first time I got a letter about an “inside scoop” two days in a row.
The letter said that they were the ones who sent the DVD and if I wanted to know more I would have to go to The Rats Skeleton (a bar that used to be a speakeasy during prohibition. Because of this the place feels as though its a front for a comic book villain. The owners have leaned into this and did everything they could to reinforce this feeling with sparse lighting and everything that isn't red velvet on the walls being painted black) at a specific time.
Usually I wouldn't go meet strangers after getting an anonymous letter that tells me to come alone, but its a small town and I didn't have much going on that particular Thursday.
Parking behind the Merc (short for mercantile, where most of the grocery and general shopping is done in town), I descended the stairs and made my way to the back of the bar. There I found a woman that didnt look like she slept in days. Since no one else was in that back area I figured she must have been the person I was there to see.
“Hey, I’m Daniel West. Am I—”
“Sit” the woman said, motioning across from her. I sat down and asked her for her name but she didn’t want to answer me and when i asked for it a second time she claimed it was Jane, but there is no doubt that was not her real name.
“What made you reach out, Jane?”
“You saw the video?”
I nodded. “Yup.”
“And?”
“I have a lot of questions” I answered.
“Figured you would” Jane said. “Ask.”
“Well, first” I said, my journalistic inexperience showing as I went through my pocket notebook. “Who are you and why do you know all this?”
“Name isnt important” Jane answered. “Let me start from the beginning. We thought we were working on human survivability” Jane answered. “I thought that I was working for some company that had a government contract. That might be true, it might not be. Either way lots of money and resources have been put into this.”
“I saw the video” I answered. “What exactly was it that I was watching?”
Janes eyes were frantic as she looked at the stairs behind me. When I turned around to see what she was looking at I saw a local descending the steps and approach the bar. She only answered my question when she was convinced that the man wasn't eavesdropping, still, she spoke in whispers.
“We were working on human survivability.”
“You said that. What does that mean?”
“Exactly what it sounds like. Consider we civilize mars and the long term effects from the static radiation there. Or another planet that demands thicker bones because of increased gravity? Evolution might give us those things eventually but what if we need it now? In this generation?”
“So you made super humans?”
Jane was annoyed and slapped the table. No one was around to hear or see her but I still looked around anyways.
“We didn’t work on humans. We piggybacked off of some other countries' genetic research and made some breakthroughs of our own. When—-“
“Other countries?” I interrupted instead of letting her talk.
“Yeah” Jane said with a shrug. “Some countries aren’t tied down by the same code of ethics as ours.”
“That’s why you got a hold of me? To tell—-“
“We were working on small parts. At first individual genes, building from that success we went on to more complex organisms. Eventually, hopefully, test on humans.”
“But you never made it that far?”
“No” Jane said, taking a sip from her glass. “We tested BB-F828 on other things, building up towards human testing.”
“Okay, like what?”
Jane inhaled through her nose and looked at me as though she wasnt sure if I could be trusted. Then she sighed when she realized it was too late not to trust me, she had already went too far to turn back. “What do you think has the best chance of not only surviving a planet wide disaster, but also thrive in it?”
“Cockroaches” I answered.
Jane nodded. “Sure. Lots of people would agree with you, however that wouldn't be the best pick.”
“Oh? Then what would be?”
“Rats.”
I laughed.
“They are tough and can thrive anywhere. Even before BB-F828 they are smarter than roaches, plus rats have a complicated social hierarchy, similar to humans. Remember, I didn't just say survive. I said thrive.”
“So you tested all this on rats?”
Jane nodded. “We did.”
I waited for Jane to continue, but thanks to her staring off into space due to lack of sleep, she waited longer.
“What happened?”
Janes eyes drifted back at me, she was running on fumes. “Huh? Oh, yeah. Rats, right?” she asked while pulling a folder out from the seat next to her. She set it on the table and slid it over to me. “Here, take a peek.”
I opened it, expecting redacted pages of ‘evidence’ and while I got some of that, it was the photos that drew my attention the most. At first the photos were individual rats and a designated number they received instead of a name.
“How many rats did you experiment—” I started, but my voice trailed off when I came across a photo of the one rat with unique markings on its back now appearing to be bred for a war on pleasant dreams. Its eyes were pearly gray, teeth became tusks, its whiskers were thick and barbed. According to the scale it was on when the second photo was taken it weighed twenty nine point four kilos.
“A few hundred?” Jane answered, though it was obvious that it was just a guess. “They were paired off and put in different environments to see how they adapt.”
“Why would you pair them off?”
“I think it was to see if some would branch out and become their own species” Jane answered as she checked her watch. Seeing the time she sped up. “See, when something with BB-F828 finds itself in a desert, it might adapt to the point that it grows a hump like a camel. Or grow gills if they are in the ocean. The original purpose was for human survivability on other planets. We thought if we could discover how the adaptations work, and it could be repeated exactly the same over and over again, we could do something for humans. After all you wouldn't want anything unexpected to happen when you're in the middle of growing another set of arms or a dorsal fin, right?”Jane said. “But to do this we needed lots of subjects and all in their own environments. Each one had their own surprises, after all, evolution is random. Favors some things over others. One species can branch out to be dozens or hundreds. Thousands with enough time and environmental factors. When the tardigrades started displaying more predatory behavior we thought it was due to the change in diet and the increase in protein, but now we think its due to the rapid change. It drives them insane. All of this was surprising, but none as surprising as the ‘dirt rats’.”
“Wait. They are all insane? Also, dirt rats?” I asked, flipping the photo over to show the next one. This one revealed what I thought was a bear, but when I was about to flip it over to look at the next one I noticed its teeth. Thats when I noticed that it was a huge, muscular rat.
“Six breeding pairs, all kept in an empty pool full of dirt. They weren't given enough room to get out of the dirt, so they had to adapt to living in it. Anyways, because they are in the dirt its harder to keep track of what they are doing. Because of that, by the time we discovered that they had burrowed their way out of the facility it was too late. They were gone.”
“Gone? What do you mean?”
“Escaped,” Jane whispered. “And they are growing.”
“Growing?”
“Last I heard, they were nearly sixty feet but we honestly don't know. It's not like we can compare them to anything else.”
“Sixty feet?” I laughed. “Someone would have saw them by—”
“Underground” Jane said with a shake of her head. “They are underground. I know it's hard to believe, but how else can you explain those earthquakes in Chicago? New York?”
“Are you saying there are giant rats under those cities?”
“I am saying they aren't rats anymore. They are something else entirely. I am saying six breeding pairs might not sound like a lot, but rats reproduce so quickly it's terrifying. I am saying that they are so big and there are so many of them that they are causing those earthquakes. I am saying that due to their size they burn off lots of calories and some have evolved to hibernating.”
“Why hibernation?”
“No idea, but when they wake up they are going to be very hungry. Ravenous.”
“Any idea when that might be?” I asked.
Jane shrugged. “Some already have. We just covered it up.”
It might have been my apophenia talking, but with that statement I started seeing the bigger picture and asked Jane about the town that went missing (The story I was working on before her DVD reached me). Jane gave me the politician's answer, saying something without actually saying something, and that was enough to confirm that I was indeed on the right track.
Unfortunately Jane and I did not speak for much longer, she got a call that freaked her out and she took off. Before she left she took the folder and the pictures I was still going through. I haven't seen or heard from her since and have dropped the story about the disappearances that have secretly been plaguing our country.

Previously, on Hell’s Kitchen…
The final 7 participated in the presentation challenge, but this time, it was every chef for themselves, as they competed for an incredible reward: a black jacket and immunity from elimination. It was a closely fought contest, but in the end, Lauren cemented her frontrunner status by taking the win with a dish that impressed Chef Ramsay and the former winners who had stopped by to guest judge. Not only did Lauren earn her black jacket early, but she also got a photo shoot with Epicurious, and a dinner with the former Hell’s Kitchen champions. While Lauren was riding high, everyone else was left behind to clean up the mess from several weeks of dorm life.
In service, both teams had their share of issues, and although they each managed to fight through it, Ramsay wasn’t content with choosing a winning team, and instead had both teams nominate one chef for elimination. At elimination, the choice seemed to be an easy one, as Grace and Ramona found themselves in front of Ramsay yet again. But in the end, it was Grace who fell just short of obtaining a black jacket, which saw her dream of becoming the next head chef of Gordon Ramsay Steak go up in flames.
The final six have overcome each obstacle Ramsay has thrown at them, but are they truly ready for what lies ahead? FInd out tonight, on Hell’s Kitchen..,
https://reddit.com/link/1dbjm6p/video/uyknwqndlg5d1/player
And now, the continuation of Hell’s Kitchen…
The final six were in a celebratory mood as they sprinted down the hallway and excitedly exchanged high fives and hugs. Lauren said in her confessional that they were really here, to the part of the competition that mattered most, and best of all, Grace was finally gone. Thomas was equally glad, as he said in his confessional that it was another weak chef removed from his path, though he wasn’t really worried about anyone here. Ramona was absolutely ecstatic, saying in her confessional that not only did she get a black jacket, but she got to see Grace walk out the door. With the chefs seemingly celebrating being rid of their biggest nuisance as much as getting their black jackets, Michael pointed out that Ramsay had mentioned the black jacket lounge, and the chefs eagerly entered to find it decked out with a bar, a banner congratulating them, and several bottles of champagne on ice, with a note telling them to enjoy.
Michael said in his confessional that he knew the booze was always a trap, but that wasn’t gonna stop him, as he popped open a bottle and poured himself and Faye a glass. The others were equally willing to indulge, as Melody said in her confessional that right now, it was time to let all that tension roll off their shoulders and just enjoy this moment with Lauren. The two of them drank a couple of glasses until Melody finally said they should save something for tomorrow, as she laughed in her confessional and said someone had to be the voice of reason here. Michael had no such inhibitions as he quickly downed more than enough to get him in a relaxed state, while Faye teased him about how well he could hold his liquor. Thomas said in his confessional that he was definitely going to regret that tomorrow. The chefs continued to celebrate well into the night before finally getting what little sleep they could.
Challenge
The black jackets were awakened early the next morning, however, and went downstairs to meet Ramsay, who asked them if they enjoyed their reward last night, to which Michael replied that they did, and Ramsay said he could tell just by looking at them. Michael admitted in his confessional that he still felt like shit, and just hoped the challenge wouldn’t be too difficult. Ramsay said he hoped the chefs had saved a little pep in their step for today, because Hell’s Kitchen was opening tonight for a very special occasion: A 20th anniversary reunion night where all of the guests would be chefs who had appeared on past seasons of Hell’s Kitchen. Ramsay emphasized that he wanted to see this team at their absolute best during service. Ramona groaned in her confessional and said today of all days, she didn’t need to be dealing with a hangover. Regardless, Ramsay said that for now, he wanted them to focus on the here and now, and that meant today’s challenge. Ramsay briefly went over how much food had been wasted throughout the history of Hell’s Kitchen, to which Melody prayed in her confessional that they wouldn’t have to do any dumpster diving. Ramsay went on, though, saying that one of his favorite challenges to revisit was designed to test the chefs’ ability to work with leftover ingredients. He told the chefs that they had 45 minutes to prepare a stunning dish using leftover ingredients from last night’s service, and their time started right now.
The final six rushed into the kitchen and began rummaging through the pile of leftover ingredients. Thomas was confident as he said in his confessional that he could make a five star dish out of any ingredients, fresh or not, and already had a plan in mind. Meanwhile, Faye said in her confessional that she needed a win in this challenge to get herself back into the running, and was determined to put her best foot forward. As most of the chefs got to work on cooking, at least one chef still seemed undecided in their ingredients. Melody said in her confessional that she wanted to take her time and plan out her dish mentally first. As Ramsay called out that 10 minutes had passed, Lauren wondered in her confessional what Melody was doing, and said she needed to get a move on. Finally, Melody chose her ingredients and joined the other chefs. Ramona was determined to get it right, as she said in her confessional that she needed a win here badly, and was hoping to come up clutch again as she had during Cook For Your Life. Michael was doing his best to stay focused given his partying last night, as he joked in his confessional that hopefully he cooked even better hungover than sober. Lauren was full of confidence after having been the first to earn a black jacket yesterday, though admitted she was also feeling the after-effects of last night’s celebration. With all six chefs working frantically to wrap up their creations in the allotted time, Ramsay counted down the final seconds, then told them to stop and bring their dishes up to the pass.
Ramsay announced that since this was the 20th anniversary of Hell’s Kitchen, it was only right for a legendary judge to help him score this contest. That was why he had invited the one and only…Wolfgang Puck. A choir of voices sang his name as the iconic chef walked through the door and stood by Ramsay’s side. Melody gushed in her confessional, as she could not believe she was standing just feet away from Wolfgang Puck himself. Ramona was suddenly very nervous, as she said in her confessional that if she had known Chef Puck was going to be voting on these dishes, she would have put in 100 times the effort. Nonetheless, with the introduction out of the way, Ramsay now called on Faye to bring her dish up first.
Faye presented her pan seared halibut over pea puree with sliced vegetables. Puck examined the dish carefully, noting that the presentation could have been a bit better, though he did enjoy the taste of the halibut itself. Ramsay said it was a nice tasting dish, though unfortunately, he did get the sense it was made from leftovers, as nothing really seemed to pop, which Puck agreed with. The two chefs were ready to give their scores on a 1-10 scale, and both Ramsay and Puck gave her a six, for a 12/20 score. Faye kicked herself in her confessional, as she felt that she had played it far too safe, and it backfired on her. Next, it was Ramona’s turn to step forward, as she presented a plate of chicken breast over turnip puree with fingerling potatoes and asparagus. Again though, Ramsay commented that he wasn’t feeling a wow factor, and said it had a decent taste but one that was distinctly more like leftovers than fine dining. Puck also pointed out that the chicken was a bit undercooked for his liking. Ramsay was still willing to give it a six, but Puck felt it only earned a five, giving her an 11/20 score and leaving Faye in the lead. Ramona was upset with herself in her confessional, as she said she couldn’t believe she screwed it up right when she needed a big challenge win the most. Ramsay urged the chefs to step it up big time, as this wasn’t what he was expecting at this stage from the black jackets. Third up was Melody, who expressed anxiety in her confessional after seeing both Faye and Ramona struggle, and knew she had to get this right. She presented her herb-crusted salmon with buttered caper sauce, and Puck noted right away that it was a big step up on looks alone, which Ramsay agreed with. The chefs tasted the dish and came away just as impressed, with Ramsay saying this was the first standout dish of the challenge by far. Puck gave his score first, saying that deserved a nine. Ramsay agreed completely and also gave it a nine, for a strong 18/20 score.
Melody was thrilled in her confessional to have gotten such a strong score, but knew Thomas, Lauren and Michael were all good enough to potentially take the win. Lauren went next, saying in her confessional that Melody had raised the bar here, and it was now up to her to keep pace. She was hoping to do so with her filet mignon with red onion and tarragon relish. Ramsay had praise for the presentation, as he noted it was simple, but appetizing. Once they sliced the filet, Puck was pleased to see it cooked beautifully, and both chefs praised the taste of the meat. Puck did express that the garnish could have been a bit better, but Ramsay said they had a very tough decision on the hands. Ultimately, both felt it wasn’t quite on the same level of Melody’s dish, and each gave it an eight, for a score of 16/20. Lauren was disappointed to have come up short, but said in her confessional that she hoped Melody could hold on for the win. Next was Thomas, who expressed confidence in his confessional despite the tall task in front of him, as he said he continually demanded perfection of himself and expected nothing less here. He presented his John Dory with orange glazed endives, which earned strong praise from both Ramsay and Puck for its clean and modern presentation. Both also praised the flavor of the dish, though both noted the orange glaze was a bit too sweet for them. Ramsay was willing to overlook this though, considering how strong of a dish it was, and gave it a nine. Puck…said it did take the dish down a peg for him, and he could only give it an eight, giving Thomas a 17/20 score and leaving Melody with a narrow lead. Thomas showed some frustration in his confessional, as he was getting tired of always coming up just short in challenges. Finally, Michael was the only one left to take on Melody, and he said in his confessional that this was finally his time to take home victory in a challenge. He presented his lamb chops with butter fondant, morels, peas, and a balsamic reduction, which again earned high marks for the presentation, as Puck said the chefs were definitely putting forth their best in this challenge. Ramsay agreed, and said the dish looked nearly perfect, with only one problem…the lamb looked as if it might’ve cooked about half a minute too long. Michael kicked himself in his confessional, as he said he had been so focused on not serving undercooked food, that he had overcompensated. Despite this critique, though, both Ramsay and Puck enjoyed the dish and said the flavor was excellent.
Ramsay said this was a very tough choice, but even with the slight overcook on the lamb, everything else was good enough to earn it a nine. With the deciding vote in his hands, Puck said in addition to the lamb, he also had a bit of a problem with the garnish not adding as much as it could have, and that was why he could only give it an eight, leaving Michael with a 17/20 score, and giving Melody the win in the challenge.
Reward / Punishment
Ramsay congratulated Melody on running the gauntlet, as this was one of the closest challenges in recent years, and she absolutely earned the win. And as a reward for that win, she was going to be treated to an afternoon of surfing lessons from 2024 Olympian Carissa Moore. Melody was nothing less than giddy in her confessional, as she said this day couldn’t get much better, but Ramsay wasn’t finished, and said that a reward like this shouldn’t be spent alone, and she should bring one of her fellow chefs along. Without hesitation, Melody told Lauren to get her stuff packed, because they were going surfing. Lauren was pumped up to get a reward with Melody and have an opportunity to spend personal time with an Olympian. As the two embraced and rushed off to get changed, Ramsay told the remaining four chefs that today’s punishment would be anything but the breezy fun Melody and Lauren would be experiencing, as the kitchens needed to be cleaned and prepped, and the dining room appropriately decorated, for tonight’s 20 year Reunion Night service. Lauren wondered in her confessional why both kitchens would need to be prepped, but Faye said in her confessional that she had a sneaking suspicion about what Ramsay was up to.
While the four losing chefs got to work on their grueling punishment, Melody and Lauren went back downstairs and left Hell’s Kitchen together, eager to get started on their day in the sun, where they saw that an appropriately stylish top down convertible would be taking them to the beach. After a scenic drive through the city, they finally arrived at their destination and stepped out onto the beach on a perfect sunny afternoon. There, they were greeted by an enthusiastic Carissa Moore, who congratulated them on winning the challenge and said she hoped they were both ready to catch some waves. Melody admitted in her confessional that she didn’t actually know surfing was an Olympic sport, with Moore saying it had been added only a few years ago, and giving them a bit of her backstory on how she got into surfing and became an Olympic athlete. Lauren said in her confessional that it was a huge inspiration to talk with an Olympian, as they shared the same dedication to their respective crafts, and she felt that she and Melody could learn a lot from this in addition to having a great time. With the introductions out of the way, Moore took the chefs out on the water, giving them basic tips on riding a board and eventually to standing. Melody kept falling, much to Lauren’s amusement, as a sheepish Melody said in her confessional that nobody was perfect. However, after a long afternoon of practice and a lengthy spell of trial and error, both chefs had improved somewhat, with Melody beaming in her confessional and saying she was having the time of her life right now, a sentiment which Lauren agreed with, as she said in her confessional that there was nowhere she’d rather be than here and now. After a deeply enjoyable afternoon for both chefs, they finally said goodbye to Moore, who wished them all the best going forward, and returned to Hell’s Kitchen just in time to witness the restaurant’s transformation.
While Melody and Lauren enjoyed a day of sun, fun and relaxation, the four remaining black jackets were left with the task of turning Hell’s Kitchen into a stunning venue for the 20th anniversary reunion. Michael was particularly disappointed, as he still felt like crap thanks to his hangover, and also had come up just short in the challenge, saying in his confessional that some time outside of Hell’s Kitchen could’ve really done him some good. Thomas was still upset, as he said in his confessional that Melody and Lauren could have all the fun they wanted, but he was going to work his ass off and make sure he stood out in service. Faye and Ramona were also disappointed in their performances, though Faye said in her confessional that Ramona seemed to be taking it the worst, and she tried to encourage the younger chef to bounce back in service. Ramona was still feeling down on herself though, but said in her confessional that Faye was right, and the best thing she could do now was get locked in and try to move on from her performance in the challenge. Once the chefs had finished cleaning the kitchen and dining room, it was time to start decorating. Faye tried to keep the mood light by saying this was going to be the prettiest Hell’s Kitchen dining room in its 20 year history, getting a smile from Ramona. Meanwhile, Michael was struggling to get the decorations right and constantly asked for help. Thomas told them to focus as they didn’t have much time and still had to prep the kitchen, and said in his confessional that he felt like a babysitter right now.
Pre-Service
Melody and Lauren returned to Hell’s Kitchen to find their fellow chefs wrapping up prep. Ramsay then gathered all six black jackets in the dining room and told them that for tonight’s service, not only would they be serving a dining room full of former Hell’s Kitchen chefs for the restaurant’s 20th anniversary, but they would also be competing against a handpicked team of chefs whom Ramsay held in the highest regard. With that, Ramsay announced that the first chef cooking in the blue kitchen tonight was…Season 21 winner Alex Belew. The chefs watched in awe as the door to Ramsay’s office swung open and Alex walked down the stairs. Lauren said in her confessional that Alex was an amazing winner and she couldn't wait to compete against him. Following Alex were Season 19 winner Kori Sutton, Season 20 winner Trenton Garvey, Season 16 winner Kimberly-Ann Ryan, Season 13 winner LaTasha McCutchen, and Season 12 winner Scott Commings. With the six former winners now lined up opposite the black jackets, Ramsay assured his current proteges that he was not going easy on them in the slightest, and tonight was all about showing how far they had come as chefs and leaders when stacked up against elite competition.
Thomas was excited for this opportunity in his confessional, as he said he thrived off going against the best of the best, and he hoped the past winners were ready to pass the torch to the current chefs after tonight. Lauren was similarly excited, and said this was the perfect chance for her to prove to Ramsay that she was more than good enough to join the ranks of the champions. The winners themselves were equally pumped up, with Scoot saying in his confessional that after over a decade away, it was great to be back in Hell’s Kitchen for such a special occasion. Kori said in her confessional that these rookies might put up a good fight, but she and her teammates were winners for a reason. Alex expressed similar thoughts aloud, as he teased the current chefs by saying they could learn more from defeat than victory. Faye warned him not to speak too soon, while Michael said that this was their kitchen now. With both teams appropriately fired up and ready to go, Ramsay told them that tonight, he wanted to see two perfect services, as their fellow chefs deserved nothing but the best, then dismissed them to their respective kitchens.
Finally, Ramsay called Marino over and told him to open Hell’s Kitchen for its 20th anniversary reunion night.
Dinner Service
The doors of Hell’s Kitchen opened for this very special service, and as a sea of familiar faces streamed into the dining room, Ramsay told the chefs that everyone here was a VIP, and urged them to give their fellow HK alumni a night to remember. The former chefs were seated, with Ed from season 7 saying it felt strange to be back here again and not being the one getting yelled at. Rochelle from season 12 was already having a great time with the former chefs at her table, as they were all laughing and looking forward to their meal. Soon, tickets began to work their way back to both kitchens.
In the red kitchen, the black jacket team had Thomas and Ramona on appetizers, Melody on fish, Lauren on garnish, and Michael and Faye on meat. Early on, Thomas had no issues serving up his capellini on schedule along with Ramona’s risotto and Melody’s scallops, and the black jackets got off to a good start by getting their first table of appetizers out with no hiccups. The black jackets would settle into a rhythm from there, as they were able to keep a steady flow of appetizers going out into the dining room to pleased past chefs, with Declan from season 19 saying he was loving it so far, while Carmen from season 22 joked that it could use some more salt. Back in the kitchen though, the kitchen started to slow down thanks to Ramona serving up two bland, undercooked risottos, and dragging on all of her orders. Thomas was getting annoyed and said in his confessional that he didn’t have time to be constantly cleaning up after Ramona’s mistakes, as they were all supposed to be elite chefs at this stage. Despite his frustration, though, he helped Ramona with her risottos and impressed Ramsay with his leadership from appetizers. Melody was able to communicate well with him and served nicely cooked scallops throughout the night. Ramona served up another bland risotto though, and Ramsay schooled her for still not paying attention to the fine details at this stage of the game. She was finally able to recover with her next attempt, and the black jackets began firing entrees while still wrapping up appetizers.
In the blue kitchen, the winners were hoping to make their comeback to Hell’s Kitchen a successful one with Kori on appetizers, Trenton on fish, LaTasha on garnish, Alex and Kim Ryan on meat, and Scott acting as a floater. Early on, Kori and Trenton were able to get into a groove with their apps, sending out beautifully cooked risottos, capellini and scallops, as Trenton said in his confessional that it was just like riding a bike, and he hoped the rookies were ready to take a whooping tonight. The former champions did hit a snag though as Trenton and Kori got a bit mixed up on their times, and Trenton ended up falling behind on his scallops. Meanwhile, Kori served undercooked risotto, and Ramsay schooled them both for making such basic mistakes. Kori said in her confessional that it was time to stop messing around and get back on track. Trenton was still dragging, and Scott said in his confessional that nothing pissed Ramsay off more than a backed up kitchen, and he moved over to help out. With an assist from Scott, Trenton managed to catch up on his scallops, and the blue kitchen once again began sending out appetizers at a solid clip. Out in the dining room, the past chefs watched the teams competing with a mixture of amusement and secondhand anxiety, as Steve from season 20 said it was fascinating to see everything unfolding from the sidelines.
Back in the red kitchen, with the teams still neck and neck, the black jackets started firing off entrees. They got off to a rough start on their first ticket though, with Faye serving up undercooked lamb on the first table, while Michael was sluggish and still seemed out of it. Communication issues also arose between the meat station and Lauren on garnish, as she was ready well before they were. The overall energy in the kitchen seemed down, which Ramsay called out, as he told the chefs again that everyone was a VIP, and they needed to get their asses in gear. Michael said in his confessional that everything felt disorganized right now and it wasn’t helping his headache in the slightest. He did try to power through it though, and was finally able to get on the same page with Lauren, as he started to get back to his usual energetic self again. Meanwhile, Melody managed to serve up nicely cooked portions of John Dory and salmon along with scallops for the remaining appetizers, though she did get in some trouble for firing two halibut on a ticket where it wasn’t needed, but she bounced back quickly. Lauren continued to be vocal and drive tickets from the garnish station, while Michael did start getting it together, and after Ramsay praised his Wellingtons as being cooked perfectly, he said in his confessional that it was just the boost that he needed. Faye got in trouble again though for serving undercooked ribeye, and Lauren served a cold sauce for it. Ramona, who was still wrapping up appetizers, sent up a table of overcooked capellini and consistently dragged on orders. The black jackets fought through their problems, and finally managed to settle down into a solid groove and serve their remaining tables. Out in the dining room, Will from season 9 said that it was great to see the rookies not letting their heads go down and keeping up with the winners.
In the blue kitchen, the former winners were ready to begin firing entrees alongside their appetizers, with Alex and Kim Ryan on meat driving the tickets along with LaTasha on garnish. The winners had no troubles on their first table, as they continued their momentum from appetizers, but Kim Ryan sent up raw ribeye, and got mixed up with LaTasha on their timing. Trenton, who was now working both apps and entrees, said in his confessional that the ladies needed to get their shit together, because he was not going to let anything ruin this reunion night. Thanks to Scott stepping in to call out times for the vets and help Trenton on fish, food once again began to leave the kitchen at a steady pace. Meanwhile, Kori was able to continue sending out appetizers without any issues, and the champions seemed to be on course for a smooth service. Alex had an unexpected mistake, though, as he served up overcooked Wellingtons, which he kicked himself for in his confessional, saying there was no excuse for screwing up a dish they had cooked every night in Hell’s Kitchen. Alex was able to bounce back quickly, and along with Kim Ryan, got the meat station back on track. LaTasha, meanwhile, had success calling out times and keeping the kitchen running from garnish after the earlier communication issues, as she said in her confessional that everyone here was a pro, and they knew how to close a service out. Sure enough, the winners seemed to only get stronger as the night wore on, talking to each other and sending out entrees to satisfied Hell’s Kitchen alumni. In the dining room, season 18 winner Ariel joked that she was enjoying the show and getting some great food out of it too. With the vets now firing on all cylinders, they managed to finish sending out the rest of their entrees.
Ramsay told both teams to clear down, then had them join him in the dining room.
Post-Mortem
Ramsay started out by telling the chefs that tonight was all about honoring the storied past of Hell’s Kitchen, and despite their struggles, both kitchens had managed to do that by finishing strong and delivering what he hoped was a great service. At this, the guests in the dining room applauded and cheered loudly. Ramsay then said it was time to turn to the matter of the winning team, which would be decided by customer satisfaction cards handed out in the dining room. After tallying the scores, Ramsay said there was one team who had the edge. First, he read out the score of the returning winners. Their tables had given them a 93% satisfaction rating. Next, he turned to the current black jackets, and said that their tables had given them…an 87% rating. This made the past champions the winners of service, which they took with huge smiles as their fellow chefs, including the current black jackets, applauded them. LaTasha got a bit emotional in her confessional and said that it felt great to get one last win in Hell’s Kitchen, on the 20th anniversary no less, while Scott said in his confessional that being able to deliver a great service to their fellow chefs meant just as much as winning had. Lauren was disappointed in her confessional, but had to hand it to the returning winners, as she said they simply performed better and deserved the win.
With the results announced, Ramsay told the black jackets to say goodbye to the past winners, and to everyone else in attendance. Once the crowd had cleared out, Ramsay brought the chefs back into the kitchen and had them line up like normal, telling them that it was close, but close would no longer be good enough, and there were still too many inconsistencies here given that it was supposed to be the best of the best. With that said, he instructed the black jackets to have a good, long discussion about which two they felt should be on the chopping block tonight, and dismissed them to the dorms.
Back in the dorms, the discussion began with Thomas saying that Ramona had been the clear weak link on apps, and it wouldn’t be right for anyone to go up before her. The others quickly seemed to agree, with Lauren saying that she still seemed to get overwhelmed, and it was clear by now that she wasn’t ready to take the next step. Ramona admitted she had the worst service, but announced Faye and Michael as her nominees given that they had been inconsistent on the meat station. Michael argued back that he may have had a bit too much to drink last night, but he was still vocal and fought back. Thomas agreed with Faye going up, though, saying that by this point, it wasn’t about your experience in Hell’s Kitchen, but what you did with it. Faye agreed that she could have done better, but still felt that Ramona was their weakest chef, as much as she hated to say it. Ramona became frustrated, saying this same routine had been going on for weeks and she was tired of hearing it, as she went off to the bedroom, and Melody went in after her to try to offer some comfort. Melody told her that she had been a fighter throughout the competition and not to give up on herself now.
Elimination Ceremony
The black jackets entered the dining room and lined up, and Ramsay started off by saying that he had expected more from his top six, especially given the occasion, and it was frustrating to watch at times when he knew that their potential was much higher than what they were showing. With that said, he asked Melody for the black jacket team’s first nominee and why. Melody announced that the black jackets had decided to put up Ramona, due to having struggled the most in services to this point. Ramsay asked for the second nominee and why. Melody seemed to hesitate a bit, but finally announced that Faye was the second nominee, due to having problems on the meat station. Ramsay accepted the nominations and called Ramona and Faye forward.
Deliberation music
Ramsay first asked Ramona why she should stay in Hell’s Kitchen.
Ramona: “Chef, I’ve had a long journey in this competition, from signature dish to where I am now. I didn’t always have this belief in myself, but having been through it all, now I know that I belong here, I deserve this black jacket, and I believe I have the potential to be the head chef you’re looking for.”
Ramsay moved on to Faye, asking why she should stay in Hell’s Kitchen.
Faye: “I'm disappointed in my performance tonight, chef, and I know you are too. The important thing though, is that I don’t let those mistakes get to me. I feel like I have the composure that Ramona maybe doesn’t at this point, and I think that’s what sets me apart. I expect a lot better from myself, and if you give me another chance, I’ll show you.”
Ramsay struck a thoughtful pose, as he said that he had a very difficult choice ahead of him, but at last, he was ready to make it.
Ramsay: “My decision is…”

Ramsay: “Faye…I expect a lot better too. And I need to see it soon, because I can’t go on much further. Back in line!”
A relieved Faye rushed back to rejoin the other black jackets, while Ramsay turned his attention to Ramona.
Ramsay: “Ramona…step forward, darling. I think we both know that you are not quite ready to become the next head chef of Gordon Ramsay Steak.”
Elimination music
Ramona stepped up and handed over her jacket.
Ramsay: “Let me tell you this: you do have potential, a lot of it. I could see that from your very first dish. Unfortunately, it’s consistency and leadership that I’m looking for, and I haven’t seen enough of it. What you’ve got to do now is keep going. Don’t stay down. Fight back, and become the chef I know you can be.”
Ramona thanked Ramsay as he hugged her, and she waved goodbye to her fellow chefs before leaving Hell’s Kitchen.
Ramona’s comment and montage
Flashback to signature Signature Dish challenge
Ramsay: ‘Your name, young lady?”
Ramona: “Ramona, chef.”
Ramsay: “Ramona, that dish is absolutely stunning, it’s a clear five.”

Ramona: “It’s been one hell of a ride here in Hell’s Kitchen. I’m young, I don’t have the experience of some of my fellow chefs, and that was an obstacle I had to overcome.”

Flashback to various services
Ramsay: “Good god almighty…RAMONA! It’s still raw!”
Ramsay: “Hey, you, take a look at that, what the fuck is that?! Do you want to go home right now?”
Ramsay: “Oh come on, Ramona, this is your course, they need to hear you!”

Ramona: ‘Was it a struggle to work with my fellow chefs at times? Oh hell yeah. But I never backed down.”
Flashback to chefs in dorms
Grace: “So you’re gonna stand there and say you deserve to be here more than me after that service, really?!”
Ramona: “Hey, look, I served my tables, I owned my mistakes! And guess what? I work with the team. T-E-A-M, honey, I know that doesn’t mean anything to you!”

Ramona: “If there’s one thing I’ve taken away from all this, it’s that being a head chef is a lot harder than I thought it would be. You have to work your ass off, and I did. Even though I’m walking away empty handed, Chef did recognize my potential.”
Flashback to various services and challenges
Ramsay: “Beautifully cooked, Ramona! Keep the bar up there!”
Ramona: “Yes, chef!”
Ramsay: ‘The immunity pass goes to…Ramona, well done, young lady, that dish was fantastic.”
Ramsay: “Ramona, great sear on those scallops!”

Ramona: “He may not think I’m ready now, but I know that one day, I’ll get there.”

With Ramona’s elimination, Ramsay remarked that there were just five left standing, a fourth of the original field of 20, and while they had held their own against the winners and given them a decent run, their services going forward needed to be even better if they wanted to become the next head chef of Gordon Ramsay Steak. With that, he told them to go back to the dorms and rest up, because the competition was just going to get more and more intense with each passing day, and each of them now had a one in five chance of reaching their dream.
As the chefs went back upstairs, each of them had a confessional. Michael said that from now on, he was fully locked in and done with partying until his door opened, as he had a restaurant to win, and nothing was going to get in his way. Lauren said that even small mistakes could get you sent home at this point, and she would simply have to trust her skill and composure under pressure to carry her through. Faye said that she had just had another close brush with elimination, and knew she needed a Texas-sized comeback tomorrow to show Ramsay that she was far from done. Melody said that she could never have imagined getting this far when she first walked in, but now, she couldn’t imagine walking out with anything less than a head chef position at Gordon Ramsay Steak. Finally, Thomas said that with Ramona gone, it was down to the five truly strong chefs, but he was completely confident that whatever challenges Ramsay threw at them, he was the best equipped to handle them and take home the prize.
Placement
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Hi, lovely Charlotte! I've been watching your content for almost a year, and I'm obsessed with it! I'm actually watching one of your videos as I'm writing this.
I've worked at a wedding dress shop for the past 3 years, and let me tell you, I've got a lot of stories. However, that's for another day. This is about my wedding back in 2019; I apologize in advance for how long it is and how messy the writing is, as I want to compress it as much as possible.
Here's a small backstory before the main event. I (23F at the time) married my high school sweetheart (then 22M) right after college. Let's call him Rick. He was a walking red flag from the start, but naive little me thought it was love and honestly didn't believe I could do better. He didn't get along with my friends or family. It was a very rough relationship altogether. He had already complained about the following before the big day:

Having three bridesmaids, even though he only had one (his cousin);
Proposing when he did, as he thought I “made him do it;”
Wanting to wear makeup (he said makeup made me look ugly);

Anyways, back to the wedding. The night before is where we’ll start the show. We had the rehearsal, and Rick was obviously not enjoying himself, didn't want to be there (he did this a lot). I was nervous as all get-out, but my bridesmaids really calmed my nerves. As soon as the rehearsal was over, they took me out on an impromptu “bachelorette party” at the local Burger King, where they bought my food and got me a cute little crown (which I still have). It was small, and honestly, I didn’t even expect it, but I enjoyed it because I was with my friends. My aunt (then 38F, let’s call her Bee) was my wedding planner. She was absolutely pissed that they did this, saying that they could have done it on a different day, or done something a little more elaborate because what they did was cheap and not thoughtful. She also said that she hired an organist for when I walk down the aisle. I had told her previously I wanted to walk down to the “Wedding Procession” done by Queen, but she said it wouldn’t be right.
The next day went by quickly, when I look back at it, but in the moment, it was slow, and a lot of crap happened that I honestly never thought about until much later. Buckle up!
My brother (then 18M) surprised me by showing up to the wedding. As I stated earlier, Rick and my family did NOT get along, so having my brother there really made a difference for me.
Rick had “forgotten” to get a suit, so he had to buy one the morning of. Thankfully, they had one at the first store he went to, in his exact size and the color we were going for.
My mom was supposed to do my hair. She agreed to do this months before, but on that day, she panicked and backed out, afraid she would ruin my hair on my special day. One of the friends that went out for the bachelorette party the night before stepped up and did it (it turned out BEAUTIFULLY, by the way), while my maid of honor did my makeup (also turning out perfect). The ceremony went off without a hitch. Even the pictures went well. So far so good, right?
Then we get to the reception. We had BBQ, delicious as heck. Bee, as mentioned earlier as my wedding planner, had given us a few minutes to get our plates before everyone else. Rick instantly began eating. Our guests came up to congratulate us, but he waved them off and told me to take care of them. I tried to flag down Bee, as I hadn’t eaten yet, but she wasn’t paying attention. I entertained each guest that came up, while Rick ate not one but TWO plates of food. Once the guests started to get their food and left us alone for a little bit, I was excited to dig in. Before I could, Bee came up and snatched my plate away, saying it was time for our first dance. I told her I hadn’t been able to eat, because people were coming up to us to talk. She said, and I quote, “Well, you should have told them to go away so you could eat. This is all your fault.” Mind you, I was a people pleaser, and I did not want to seem ungrateful to those who went out of their way to attend. I also told Bee it was her job as the wedding planner to help me out with that. She still blamed me.
During the cake cutting, Rick had a massive nosebleed, which Bee also “disagreed with” and claimed that he should have had it “under control.” Right after were some speeches from the crowd. Most of the attendees came from my side and they didn’t know a lot about Rick, but they still wished us the best. During this, Rick squeezed my hand hard under the table and whispered in my ear, “Way to make this all about yourself. No one is here for me.”
Right after the reception, we were able to change, as we were heading out to our honeymoon. Rick and I walked to our car together where, to my surprise, we saw that my bridesmaids had decorated the windows with “Just Married” and “Honeymoon Bound” and “Honk for the happy couple” on the back windshield. Did Rick find this as amusing as I did? Of course not. He was mad, said they shouldn’t have done it and they should be glad he’s not a petty person or else he’d sue for damages. And, of course, the good ol’ “how could you let this happen?” Bee was also not happy, saying it was childish and that I shouldn’t be friends with them anymore.
I guess you could say that the way he acted during wedding planning and the actual day was an insight on how the marriage would be. 10 months later (after him not working, me having to work 3 jobs to support us, and also him threatening my family and friends), we separated. Telling my family was hard, as I felt like a disappointment. Bee did not help at all. When I told my family that Rick and I were getting a divorce, the first words she said was: “I told you so.” She also mentioned that she was still paying for the wedding and maybe I should have “kept the marriage up” until she paid it off. Side note: I never asked her to do any of that, she insisted she take over so it wasn’t stressful on me during my last year of college.
I’ve grown a backbone and some self-love since then. I have a pretty decent job. I’m still friends with those bridesmaids, who are like sisters to me (one got married a month ago and it was delightful). I have four guinea pigs that keep me on my toes and whom I wouldn't trade for the world. Bee still holds the wedding over my head, but I don't let her make me feel bad about it. I am wearing makeup more now, thanks to the knowledge of a coworker. Now, I use my wedding as a story to brides at the shop if they ever need a laugh or need to know what not to let slide. Most of all, I’ve been engaged to my best friend since October 2023. He is a wonderful man who makes me laugh and encourages me to follow my heart. I knew from the moment we got together that this is what love really is, and he continues to prove that to me every single day. <3

If you’re here to make an RP Request for me, then you’ve come to the right place. If you’ve read the rules, then filling out this Application will be quick and easy like a Breeze! Here you go now, fill this out and shoot me that DM/RP Request! (Just Copy and Paste to make the filling out form Easier)
1: How Literate are you?

Are you 1st or 3rd Person?
Do you use “” to talk and nothing for actions? Or ** for actions and nothing to talk?
Are you looking to do a Long-Term or Short-Term RolePlay?

5: What’s your Time Zone? (That way, I know when I can reply and not bother you at a bad time. And of course, to better plan ahead once I’m free)

What are your Limits? (List at least 10. If not, then at least 5)
What are your Favorite Kinks? (List at least 10. If not, then at least 5)
What are your Favorite Fandoms? (Name at least 10. If not, then 5 at least)
Do you have a Plot in mind? (If not, don’t worry. I will, or we can both make one up together)
🔒 What’s the Password? 🔒
```
 (Your Signature Here) 
```

Thank you for not only reading my Rules, but for taking the time to fill out this Application! I’ll get back to you when I can. Have a nice day (Your Name). -Juanie

Long post, sorry.
This month is graduation for many people (Congratulations to anyone here who is graduating! You earned it). Today was my partner’s youngest sibling’s graduation and I celebrated with them. It was fun and everyone was so proud of her. I was really happy to be there and it was great. My partner and I got her a card and some money and I wrote a nice little note in it. I could tell it made her happy and that made me happy. Lots and lots of photos were taken. I love that kind of family stuff.
But there is a voice in my head at these things that is always “Who cares? What is the big deal, you’re supposed to. What a waste of money on a kid for something they have to get done. Participation ribbon.” There are pictures, ceremonies, senior trips. And it just feels strange. Like, I never registered how much people celebrated graduation until after college.
When I was a kid, my mom was the insane academics homeschooling mom. Parties, friends, extracurriculars, hobbies, family togetherness was absolutely nothing compared to school. It was my only priority and the only thing that needed to matter to me. I was yelled at for crying and saying that math was awful. School was supposed to be my enjoyment, fulfillment, and my only future. School is fun.
Graduation ceremonies were stupid in her opinion. She’d mock the excitement “It’s only a high school diploma, it doesn’t really matter.” God forbid someone’s kid was got a GED. There was clearly something wrong with them. Their parents failed them. Going to the military or job corp? Well, at least it isn’t MacDonald’s but there was clearly something wrong. I was taught community college was lesser and didn’t know for many years that you could can earn an AA and make it easier (and more economical) to get a Bachelor’s. Defective young people and old losers rebooting their life went to com college (ironically, she had to go back after ruining her career by not working for over two decades).
When I graduated high school, my mom got excited and hugged me. I almost failed the unnecessary fourth year of math she berated me into taking and she was happy I passed. That was it and at the time I was fine with it. No dinner, no graduation cash, no trip. I was leaving my prison of a home soon, that was my real joy: not living with her ever again. My correspondence school did have graduation ceremonies but they were across country and my mom felt it was foolish and a waste of money. I did walk for my Bachelor’s. But…it was just a Bachelor’s degree. My mom and brother came, but a lot of it was overshadowed by a real academic achievement: My brother’s full ride scholarship to Grad School overseas. I had scholarships too but nothing prestigious, I was lucky to not have debt. I have three photos of that day: one phone photo from my mom and then like two photos the school took. I wanted photos of that day so bad on my nice camera. I wanted them in my cute outfit (I know, narcissistic) and with my family. When I asked a third time that day after dinner, my mom turned to my brother “Do you want to take pictures?” He paused “No.” “No we aren’t taking photos.” That was it. It felt so unimportant, like a waste of their time. “Thank god, she graduated. But, she only did what she was supposed to do. She doesn’t need to be so excited.”
The next few years after that, I just felt like a loser. Graduate with the usual crappy out of school jobs, no motivation to do the next real step in life and go to grad school. I didn’t realize until like…4 or 5 years later getting my undergraduate degree was anything important. People would say how I had accomplished something. F***, I got bullied on a lunch break once for getting my degree and it took me years after to realize that those people were jealous.
I am more proud and grateful now. It wasn’t that I wasn’t grateful. I just had to do it, like going to the bathroom. You have to do it and you don’t get a prize. I am so lucky to have what I have and earned it myself. I am in the early stages of figuring out grad school. I will not be telling my mom until (if) I get my master’s degree. I want her to know I got it myself, with my money and hard work in spite of her and I will celebrate.
I feel selfish this popped into my head, I am just venting here. I didn’t let it ruin the day, that would be completely stupid. My emotions about it are weird. I am not really jealous or sad (though a small amount). Just, mostly a dull confusion. I’d rather share someone else’s joy than sucking it away like a vampire the way my mom did.
So, anyone graduating today or soon: be proud of it if it is high school, a GED, AA, college, doctorate, whatever. If your family is lousy and doesn’t care, I hope you can find a way to celebrate in the future. You deserve it. You earned this yourself and probably in spite of them.

Project Africa, Meet: Project Eurasia
… Don’t settle for one continent, when you can run the length of two… or even The Three Americas.
What’s up, you extraordinary freaks of nature:
I hear Reddit is the place to make things happen.. A small task is afoot
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ultra marathoners: will no one best the King, Russ?
Or is he a generational talent?

Russ Cook opens the international “eye” of human capability?✔️
Runs all of Africa like a Tuesday fkn morning?✔️

This remarkable achievement left the world stunned and at least one person motivated to find those who are dedicated to match or exceed this accomplishment:
Shock the world: surmount these odds and rewrite the rulebook. I seek to ignite this pioneering spirit once more, to help contenders achieve the unthinkable…
I offer new stakes:
Shanghai to Lisbon (Yes, it is possible)

20-23 countries, 16,000km

Similar objective; entirely different story.

Indeed it is the same distance to run the width from Asia to Europe.
Yes, I understand it’s not ‘furthest east’, if it were, you’d probably die— I’m up for it— However, nobody has done our proposed distance yet.. Let's start there.
Geographically speaking point to point is only 8,191km, almost exactly Africa’s 8,061km
And wouldn’t you fkn know it, Shanghai is 861.2377km (535 miles) DUE south of Cabo’s true east along the latitudinal line, as in exactly in line with Shanghai as its furthest east point! These numbers are starting to come together..
Europe’s entirety will be crossed.. Cabo Da Roca was made to look like a finish line anyway..

I certainly acknowledge that this mission has the potential to become a groundbreaking documentary. I am very excited to watch as it unfolds its powerful message to the world.
Diluted by our own self-imposed limits, we humans are a remarkably capable species.. We’ve been doing this for hundreds of years.
Though I consider myself to be in phenomenal condition & an extreme limit pusher— I’m in no way capable like Russ and these others to endure that run— however, that’s not why I am compelled to write my first post in 29(M) years.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Russ & co. have set the bar high for the rest of the under-funded and highly “un”qualified lunatics.
They’ve shown there’s always room to redefine what’s “possible”..
At this moment I am seeking to assemble a capable and committed team to donate 8 or more months of their lives towards the task at hand. ⏳ that’s all— what else have we to do anyway?? Maintain the image we’ve spent our whole lives masquerading?
Or must we prefer to wait in line through Americas underfunded and overcrowded/ever-expansing parking lot system, inching our way towards the “American Dream” and ultimately that final day...
Which was the dream again?
Take your life back.
We intend to honor the world through impossible stories, still remaining to be experienced & uncovered: showcasing the grit, resilience, and sheer audacity of those who dare to undertake this relentless pursuit of the extraordinary—a journey that will leave us all forever changed.
Separate yourself from the crowd.
I believe us to be underestimating our opportunities and the great potential of this story: The Life changing ones, forget the instant global recognition coming on day one..
Here’s an opportunity to embrace and spread cultures,
The potential to make a difference in your life and that of others,
To transcend border.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As executive producer and logistics manager: I volunteer my leadership services and resourceful intuition/travel instinct, including the assistance of planning and organizing this expedition and routes associated. I will help assure the success, safety and effectiveness of the expedition.
Passionately-skilled as an adventurist, photojournalist & travel videographer, they tell me I have “it”. The goal isn’t monetary compensation, but instead— a global impact. The type of shit you’d do for free
Though Russ’ crew were not “professionals” by the Hollywood definition of the word, you’ll soon remember the power of a great story and a lens!
Furthermore, I’d have no hesitations documenting this expedition: offering a pivotal perspective behind the camera as well as a pen. Similarly, I’ve no objections to acting as director in such cases. I’d just prefer to focus more on the logistical side: I will recruit people better than me.
Show me the runner and I will do all I can to help turn this into reality. I’ve no choice now..
I live for the journey and its story, You can send us in a Toyota Corolla, I will accompany the runner on a bike, I don’t give a single fuck. This has to get done.
What I have:

All the above necessary qualifications
Like you, A life worth living.
Mavic 3 pro Drone (yessir!)
Newest iPhone & iPad Pro
Go pro
Potential funding opportunities

What we need:

Like-minded people equally as daring and motivated
A confident runner that is experienced and knowledgeable
A Vehicle (inconspicuous please)
Additional talented film crew

After sleeping on Russ, sponsors are ready & eager to jump on that next opportunity. Show the commitment. Fortunately, in this limelight we’re gifted with little resistance attaining their attention. The market is proven and it is susceptible to our impression.
Redbull, I don’t even like your shitty drinks— but isn’t this like exactly the opportunities you search for? You basically sell “ideas” in a liquid form.
Go pro? Where did you go?
A team makes all the difference, which is why I stress to possess the same desire, commitment and determination towards this goal- just as the “goal achiever” would.
It’s a story waiting to be told.
I will promptly, and without hesitation, quit TFOO my job and drop it all to buy a flight to Shanghai when a determined team is assembled for this. I swear on ALL mothers.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Proceeding forth:
Charitable causes provide the leverage. It seems to be the best course of action. (Y’all don’t understand how fuckin’ strong my wife is)
*It includes dangers beyond our preconception— tis not a death wish, but a once in a lifetime experience.
*Don't expect a cute vacation or comfort. A price to pay in order to break records and achieve the unthinkable. I for one do not wish to limit our possibilities on our search for the “impossible”.
*Burn the boats at shore, we’ve no choice but to succeed. 80% of the journey is adapting in the field, the other 20% is simply getting yourself there.
Eurasia carves its own path.
-Offering unique perspectives in new environments, with new culture, and new hurdles to overcome.
People love watching others achieve these goals; they feel they are right alongside you, similarly achieving theirs. After all, it is you who is in their pockets.

“Day one of….” -Shut up, I am already completely invested.

Through this triumph, we garner worldly attention, shedding the illusion of “borders”, connected— all cheering one person: united as one team. Isn’t a “movement” simply when a goal is achieved simultaneously by the whole?
What is evident is that the opportunity of its expanse hasn’t been fully explored, recognized and realized.
(Thanks for paving the way, Russ!)
You see, Eurasia is primed to happen.. The hints began to amass since Russ’ completion of the goal just nearly a month ago.. One might infer it’s on its way to be somewhat of a trend, but at the very least: a statement.
Must we sit out again? Project Earth is upon us:
*Alexander_campbell- currently walking the world now.
*Liamtheimpaler- biking from Alaska to Argentina.
*France: entirety biked.
*Germany: In the midst of being run.
*Lambros running Australia.
*Several are traveling the width of the US; one biking Alaska to Chile, others running barefoot?
*Katherine Lowrie ran the totality of South America. Over 17,000km with her husband.
***Countless in Asia.. but no runners..
(Edit): the list keeps expanding..
Perhaps this is an opportunity to compete for the finish line involving two or more teams? Fuck it, bring in the sport of competition for the great world race.
Dream big.
This your call to action
Understand the TREMENDOUS amount of work put into planning and ensuring the arrival of the goal— the athlete will also have to be physically prepared as well as mentally. But when the right pieces of the puzzle are brought together, we could do this ASAP.
May this message not fall on deaf ears — Our dreams remain as dreams until first action is taken. There’s no limit to our possibilities as a species. Let’s step into that world.
because i think that’s the whole point of this..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In this thread… offer your schemes, comments or productive critique:
If you aspire for something extraordinary and think you’re up for this task, come forth and tell us why you make a good fit. Hell, if you would even like to help fund or sponsor, I won’t stop you. Make your voice known.
Project_Eurasia is on Instagram, you can tell me I’m delusional there.
Let’s make it happen.
No "influencers".
No sellouts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This message unto the realm of universal possibility. Awaiting to unfold and materialize as it will
and all it takes is a single moment to change everything.
. . . -Andy

I just started an internship at a company in NY. I am supposed to receive “$20 hourly rate, with “local temporary lodging and a meal stipend of $275.00 per week.” After many issues with my lodging (see bottom). I had a meeting with the HR manager about this, where I mentioned my stipend hadn’t been paid out. The HR manager, who was the other signature on my employment document, was surprised I had a stipend even though he signed the document. After I left, I received an email stating that my stipend would be paid at $125 with $175 going towards lodging “$25 per night”, going on to say I was recieving $25 per day in a meal stipend (5*25). In legal terms, is the document I signed binding in that I should be receiving $275 a week alongside my lodging? I have pasted the documents writing below, scrubbing any identifying information
We are delighted to offer you a Education Program work assignment This letter details the offer of your internship. This internship is contingent upon successful passing of a pre-employment physical, background check, and drug test. This internship will start on approximately May 27, 2024, and end on August 16, 2024. While you are interning with us, you will be following the Be - description and learning the various processes to support (department name) Your hourly rate of pay will be $20.00 per hour. Initially, your schedule will be 7:00am to 4:00pm Monday through Friday. This position is a non-exempt position for purposes of the Fair labor Standards Act. As an intern, you are not eligible for any benefits or paid time off will provide local temporary lodging and a meal stipend of $275.00 per week. To accept this offer, please sign this offer and email a copy to —— This letter confirms the compensation and benefits that you have been offered for this position; it is not an employment contract, and your employment with the Company will be on an "at will" basis. Other important terms of your employment are governed by the Employee Handbook.we look forward to supporting your learning goals with our organization. Feel free to contact me should you have any questions.
About my lodging issues
When I attempted to check in, the woman working the front desk was clearly high on meth (I have been around multiple meth abusers) and could not find my pre authorization. 2 assaults occured directly outside my room, harassment from staff about payment which had already been made, no hot water, rotten food in the shelves when I arrived, staff attempting to enter the room while I was inside multiple times, when room cleaning was supposed to occur every 2 weeks, no wifi for 2/3rds of my stay. When I met with the HR Manager, he asked how soon I’d be packed if I could move. I told him same day. Hours later I received an phone call from the HR generalist, same person who said my stipend was being used partially for lodging, and she said that she had spoken with the hotel and they had no record of anyone attempting to enter my room or of fights occurring. I told her that I could confirm they had. That night a woman pulled the fire alarm because her boyfriend was attacking her. I took video of the fire alarm going off as well as the police asking me and others about what occured. The next morning I sent them to her and she said she would find me a new place, sent me a new place, I told my manager, and he called her because that place is blacklisted after multiple contractors had their equipment stolen from their vehicles as well as their catalytic converters stolen while staying there. He then stayed on the phone with her until she got me a room at a name brand hotel. It almost feels like this generalist has an issue with me. One of the other employees told me her end of year bonus depends on how much of their budget is saved, I don’t know if this is true but it might explain the cutting of my stipend and the poor hotel placement.
I know the CEO personally quite well through family and he is an alum of my college, is this something I should make him aware of? I’m not looking to drop a nuke but it seems fishy that they’d change it and according to my mother, a previous bank manager and father, who works in the same industry and deals with the payroll of those working under him, what they are doing is a breach of the agreement I’ve made. $175 a week is the difference between me buying a car this summer and not buying one since most of my income will go towards my college courses and books.

Looking for love? It should come as no surprise that your dating profile photo can have a huge impact on your chances of finding love—or a hookup, no judgment here.
First impressions are almost always digital these days, and that kind of pressure can make it hard to choose the perfect pic. Of course you want to look good (don’t we all?) but you don’t want to oversell yourself, either.
So how can you look your best while still looking like … you? Try these 15 tips to do flattering dating photography that will get you more DMs.
Put some distance between you and the camera
I love a good selfie, but it may not be the most flattering option for your dating profile pic, especially if you’re using the front-facing camera. Who wants to see your arm off to the side in every photo?
Try to put some distance between yourself and the camera. Use a tripod if you have one, or prop your phone up using whatever objects you have available. That might mean using books, boxes, or a shelf to find a flattering angle.
Another option is to ask your friends to take a candid photo of you. You might be surprised at how good they come out! Ask them to take realistic, everyday shots. A candid shot is more unique and will stand out—plus it gives more insight into your personality.
Get the angle right
Your camera should be slightly above eye level—this is the most universally flattering angle. Too high, and it makes your head look small and weird. Too low, and you risk giving yourself the dreaded double chin.
You can also tilt your head forward and down just a little. This brings your forehead a bit closer to the camera and helps accentuate your jawline.
Another thing to keep in mind is that most of us have a “good” side. If you can’t figure out what yours is, it’s probably your left. Studies have shown that people tend to prefer the left side of someone’s face.
P.S. If you aren’t sure which angle looks best, try changing up your dating profile pic to see which image gets you the most matches. It sounds weird, but it will help you find the pics that potential dates love!
Use indirect lighting
I love ring lights, but sometimes their direct light can be a bit much. Go for soft, indirect lighting to do classier dating photography.
Natural lighting is best, so if the weather cooperates, then try heading outside to snap a few shots. The best time of day is either during sunrise or sunset (the “golden hour”), but you can also try taking your pictures on an overcast day or in the shadow of a building.
If you’re taking your photos inside, make sure the room has soft lighting. No one looks good under harsh fluorescent lights. Snap a pic in front of a sunny window covered by a curtain for a softer look.
And whatever you do, avoid using flash on your phone! Not only will it highlight imperfections, but it can also make you look older … and not in a good way.
Leave the sunglasses off
Sure, sunglasses are trendy, but people want to see what you really look like. In fact, a study by PhotoFeeler showed that people with sunglasses are perceived as less likable. Ouch.
Potential dates want to be able to see your eyes because it’s an indicator of how trustworthy you are. You might love the look of your Ray-Bans, but trust me: your gorgeous eyes will do all of the talking.
With that said, if you have a photo of yourself rocking sunglasses and you absolutely love it, you can add it to your picture gallery—just don’t use it as your main profile pic.
Relax your eyes
The eyes may be the window to the soul, but people do some crazy stuff with their eyes when they’re getting their picture taken!
The main thing here is to R-E-L-A-X. If you shut your eyes too tightly, it’s going to be hard to gauge your personality.
Some people take squinting too far. You might feel like it makes you look mysterious, but most of the time you just look angry, which is not the look you want for a dating profile pic! It also creates more creases around the eye, which probably isn’t what you’re going for.
Of course, you don’t want to open your eyes too much. The last thing you want is to become the next “Overly Attached Girlfriend” meme. Keep your eyes relaxed; you can squint a little by bringing your lower eyelids up slightly.
Show off those pearly whites
I know smiling for the camera can feel awkward, but a smile can do wonders for your dating life. Smiling makes you look more approachable and friendly, so if you want more folks to swipe right, whip out your 24 karat smile.
When you smile, make sure you show your teeth a bit. A tight-lipped smile just doesn’t look genuine. If you’re self-conscious about your teeth, you can always whiten your teeth in photos with just a click of the button.
Go for some color
Blacks, grays, and dark blue tones can come across as a bit gloomy or intense, especially if those are the only colors you’re wearing. Pick a few outfits in a variety of colors for your dating profile pics. Jewel tones and pastels can brighten a picture and make you look more lighthearted and fun.
Now, if you really want to catch people’s attention, wear red. Multiple studies have shown that both men and women find people wearing the color red more attractive.
Plus, you’ll stand out from all the other people wearing beige or gray—and there are a lot of them. Tinder analyzed 12,000 photos and found 56% of women and 72% of men wear neutral colors. So go ahead—throw on that cute red top and strut your stuff like the superstar you are.
Crop the photo correctly
Your face is gorgeous, but you probably don’t want your face to fill the entire frame. Ideally, you should take up only 60 - 70% of the frame in any dating profile pic. Try to get your shoulders in the frame and don’t be afraid to throw in one or two full-body pics in your gallery, too.
If you want to use a travel photo because it has some crazy, epic background, you can totally do that. Just make sure you’re still taking up about 20-40% of the picture. Yes, the Grand Canyon is spectacular, but people want to see you!
Be aware of your background
Speaking of backgrounds, you’ll need to pay close attention to that, too. I’m not going to judge your messy room, but potential dates on Tinder might. At the very least, try to pose in front of a clean spot in your apartment.
You can take this a step further and add a few things into the background to hint at your interests. A strategically-placed telescope or a framed painting can give potential dates insight into your personality.
(And for the love of all that is good in this world, avoid bathroom pics. They’re usually not as flattering as you think and they’re definitely cliché.)
Stick to current photos
No matter how much you love that picture of you at the beach from 2016, keep it out of your dating profile. Sure, we all wish we could rewind the clock every now and then, but it’s best to show off the real you. Try your best to stick with photos that are less than a year old.
And in case you need to be reminded: the “you” from today is just as amazing (if not more) than the “you” from years past. I promise.
Use casual pictures
I hate to be the one to say it, but if you’re super dressed up in all of your photos, it could raise your dates’ expectations a bit too much.
And I know what you’re going to say: “But I looked amaaaazing at my friend’s wedding!” I totally get it.
But when it comes to dating photography, you want to make sure you can recreate the look in the pictures that you post. These pics should look like the real, every day you. Save the fancy photos for your social media.
Skip the group photos
A lot of people like to include group photos in their dating profile pictures, but this doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a good idea. Sure, group photos can show your social side—and that’s important—but your profile pic isn’t the place to do it.
In the fast-paced dating world of swiping left and right, people simply don’t want to take the time to figure out who you are in the pic. You’ve only got about 1-3 seconds to capture their attention, and a group photo is just too confusing.
Get creative
Do you have any hobbies that define who you are? Don’t be afraid to feature them in your profile pic! If you’re a photographer, hold your camera or wear it slung around your neck. If you’re an artist, playfully wave a paintbrush toward the camera.
When you’re doing something that you truly enjoy, it shows. These fun, casual pictures give people a sneak peek at the real you that goes way beyond a simple headshot.
Just don’t fake it—if your profile pic shows you strumming a guitar, someone will probably ask you to play it at some point. Make sure you can follow through!
Have someone else choose your dating profile pic
Most of the time we’re pretty good at choosing pics for dating photography that showcase our best qualities. But hey, sometimes we get it wrong. We’re just too familiar with our own appearance and personality. This can lead to a bias that someone who’s never met you may not have.
Translation: a picture that you think is perfect might give off a different impression to someone who doesn’t know you. Remember, it only takes a few seconds for a stranger to determine whether they want to get to know you better.
You can always have a trusted friend choose your photo, but if you want honest feedback from someone’s first impression, try using a photo testing site like DATEnhance.
Up your dating game
Following these 15 photography tips for dating will give you plenty of flattering photos to choose from. And don’t be shy about taking lots of pictures—the more, the merrier. You’ll want to settle on 4 - 6 photos with different outfits, looks, and poses to feature in your dating photo gallery.
Remember that the goal isn’t to look perfect—it’s to look perfectly you. The Match Artist is here to help you add the perfect photo to any dating profile.

Welcome to your daily review. This is not meant to be stressful and if it makes you stressed, just skip it. It’s all good, no one is gonna judge you. A daily review can be as long or short as you wish, it’s kind of like guided journaling, you can freestyle it or use some of the questions bellow. What is important is checking in on your mood from earlier during the wellness check to how you’re feeling right now. Here are some questions you can use to guide you as you write down.

How would you rate your day from 0-10 (5 being that balanced middle) and why.
Did something unexpected happened today? How did that make you feel?
Were you able to tackle something you needed to do? (If yes, how did you feel afte if no, why is that? Maybe you set your goal to high for the time being? How can you make it easier on yourself so you can do it?)
Did your cat (or pet) did anything cute today?
What are your expectations for tomorrow? Do you have any goals?

These are some examples you can use to help you get started, but obviously you can review your day as you see fit. Just make sure to give today a rating, find one reason you’re proud of yourself today, and if you’re already challenging yourself into new things, what do you wish to do tomorrow. Setting achievable goals is very important, but don’t over do it. For example: I need to organize my room (I really do, jeez) but today I put away my clothes so I could sleep on my bed. That was a lot for me, but I am proud of myself for doing it. Tomorrow I am going to organize my work bag. By taking small steps I don’t set myself up for failure. You can achieve anything you want, but sometimes you’ll need to take things slowly, and that’s okay too.

Age of Legends
Prologue(Death and birth of a dragon)

Rand was happy, there wasn’t much else he could say about how he felt right there at that specific moment. Lying there in bed wearing nothing but his small cloths and a silk shirt half buttoned. Beside him sleeping so peacefully was one of his beautiful wives, Elmindreada, though she hated that name and preferred Min. Thinking back on many long years of peace and growth, yes he was fated to break the world, and he had. Though the prophecies never mentioned the creation and growth he would also leave behind. The creation of the black tower and the worldwide acceptance of male Aes Sedai, his crown and epitome of success the cleansing of saiadin. That and the discovery of ancient knowledge to confirm anyone should be able to learn to touch at least a small part of the true source, at least most people could. Those two things alone would have vast and far-reaching consequences for the good. The covers beside him shifted as his wife turned over in her sleep showing him her short curly hair. Thoughts drifting again to convincing the Aeil and Tu’athan(the tinkers he thought fondly still) to make peace, them taking it a step further and settling in the two rivers. The tinkers, the wondering people and followers of the way of the leaf, coming to terms with the Aiel spear wielders and settling in one place, that one place being his boyhood homeland. Perrin was there, as well as all the Emond fielders, what’s more they set him up like some king and started calling the place Manetheren.
Mat even came back and settled down to retire with the remainder of his family after his wife the empress died. Rand frowned because that wasn’t a happy memory, her battle with some kind of internal growth that even the best healers couldn’t fix, it was slow and painful. She was tough and knew enough to put things in order so there wouldn’t be any war for succession, but after her death and with no children not adopted, Mat just had no pull to stay. He came back and Perrin gave him an estate where he spent the rest of his days carousing in taverns even if no one would play dice with him again. The rest of his days were not much however, less than two years after his wife Mattrim died of a heart attack. The same strange fox head medallion he wore around his neck that had saved him so many times from enemy power wielders, due to its powers of absorbing any of the one power used against the wearer, was strangely the main cause of his death as there had been an Aes Sedai capable of healing close by. Rand wondered what ever became of that medallion. Trying to shift his thoughts back to happier things he thought of Elayne another of his wives and queen of the region this new “kingdom” was growing. Or at least she was. Having not one but two kingdoms to run was taxing her, especially when one played that awful game of houses so much, as if it were breathing. She actually willingly gave that area to Perrin, that and more besides. “Having friends at your back, especially friends who know they owe you can only help.”, he remembered her saying when he asked her.
He laughed remembering how her cute golden-haired little face grew so stern while she rounded on him for not caring about his friends and shouldn’t they also get something for all the help they provided at the last battle. Of course, it also had nothing to do with being such close friends with Perrin’s wife Fail. Manetheren though, when asked Perrin just shrugged his huge shoulders saying one name is as good as any, and it was the one that everyone agreed on.
Min groaned softly beside him still wrapped in the silken bedding spread. His laugh seemed to have disturbed her, he quickly stifled it and glared at the lavish bedroom they slept in as if that were the fault for his mirth. Lying on top of the silken covers because he never quite got used to sleeping on feather mattresses. It really was a lavish bedroom, filled with rugs and wall coverings, paintings, not one but two large dressers with mirrors, a matching and equally large wardrobe, currently opened showing two other mirrors on the inside of the doors, smaller than the dresser mirrors, and a neat array of blouses and trousers with floral embroidery(Min’s things). Otherwise, there was also a washstand with another small mirror, a desk and one chair slightly askew and away from the desk. On the desk are several stacks of books, and an open notebook with a nearby quill and ink pot. There was a lone unlit lamp also on the desk gilded in gold, as well as several gold gilded wall lamps also unlit around the room.
Sighing softly as Min settled back to comfortable sleep, he stared back up at the bland whitewashed ceiling above him and thought about the schools he had patroned. So many new ideas and inventions were springing up and with traveling prevalent they all spread to the world almost as fast as the ideas can be thought up. This would hopefully lead to a golden age for the world, and his schools were even branching off on their own into new learning institutes. These alone seemed to keep the peace between all the nations. Rand couldn’t tell if he was trying to be modest or humble. Yes he patroned and started the first few schools, but it was not all him coming up with any of the ideas and inventions, many of which had become marvels in and of themselves. Transportation, communication, education These would be left behind and he would be known for that as well as the other.
Breaking the world to make it whole, and his victory with that world’s armies at the last battle. He fought the dark one while the armies of all the nations fought the shadowspawn and darkfriends and dreadlords. Despite everything against him, including it seemed sometimes even the creator, he not only won the battle, but he survived it, he survived it and had a nice long life. The world was at peace, headed to a golden age which he would get credit for, and so Rand was happy. His eyes closed and his thoughts grew that sort of muffled feeling they get just as they start turning into dreams.
PAIN! Rand knew pain, he was no stranger to hurts, especially from a half healed old wound in his side, but that was not the same thing right now. For some reason panic started rising up in him, this was something new, this was something worse. A sharp pain again, in his chest, his body wildly spasmed up kicking his sleeping wife awake.
“Ow you bloody tall buffoon, if you think you can kick me out of bed you have another thing …” Min trailed off as another spasm of pain racked through Rand. Her face contorting with fear as she watched him clutching his chest nearly double over with the pain spasm. He tried to tell her he would be alright, but all that came out was a groaning grunt. He tried lifting his hand to show her it would be alright, but he couldn’t get it to move. Suddenly a hand hit him in his face, it was his hand. He couldn’t feel his hand or his arm. Fear started creeping in as another spasm of pain caused him to let out another groan and clutch at his chest with this hand he couldn’t feel.
“Creator shine his light on me, of course you would choose to die when you’re with me.” Min started shouting hysterically. “For the love of light you bloody wool head, you hang on until I can get Aviendha to come heal you, she’s not far, just hold on damn you.”
Rand vaguely had an impression of Min running towards and out the door. Another spasm of pain, except somehow this was less. He knew it should hurt just as much, but it didn’t. He must have found the void so it wouldn’t hurt as much, that was it. Rand thought about his third and final wife Aviendha, how she would likely come in to find him as healthy as a bull and upset his stomachache disturbed her wise one’s practice. Stomachache? Wasn’t it his chest that was hurting him? Another very small spasm, yes its his chest, but he was also feeling decidedly nauseous too, and that was the greatest issue right? Sleep was all he needed, he would sleep, and everything would be fine in the morning, tomorrow he had to get up early to sheer the sheep.
The void completely surrounds and envelops Rand. As he fades away he hears a sinister voice in his head, “YOU WON THIS ROUND DRAGON REBORN BUT WE WILL COME FACE TO FACE AGAIN” The dark one, what, again? No, the dark one is dead, am I dead, wake up you light blinded fool. There was nothing but the void, not even the light of saiadin could be seen. Rand listened as hard as he could, he thought he heard something, something almost familiar. There it was again, soft but rhythmic, sounding not exactly far, but muffled as if listening through water. Thump Thump and it hit him, that’s the sound of a heartbeat, but who’s heartbeat his? Sleep, that’s what he needed, a really good nights sleep and he would feel better in the morning. Rand drifted off into a dreamless sleep listening to the heartbeat, Thump Thump.
Thus did the dragon reborn die after seeing the end of one age turned into the beginning of another. The people of the land wept at his passing, they swore they would remember him forever and always. Time however is not a kind mistress, when an age is gone it starts to fade from existence, times deeds even people change in the telling’s of the years and centuries. Eventually when the wheel goes round and gives birth to the age again all details have been forgotten, muffled, or contorted.

Mariann Jo’sheen Sedai was old. She had a proper last name once if she could just remember. It had been so long ago since she had last thought of it, a life in the white tower could do that, and Sedai was as good a last name as could be for formality. Just saying Mariann was old was an understatement though, being a woman with a stronger channeling ability, and having sworn on all 8 Life Oath Rods, a prerequisite to becoming Amyrlin of the tower, that she even has any grey hair showing means she must be well past 800 years old, and to show the amount of age she did it must be closer to past 900 years. She was still sharp in mind mostly, at least anything from the last 100 years or so she could recall as sharp as if it happened yesterday. Had it really been longer than a hundred years since she last though of her family name, having long lasted past the last of her lineage, her family long gone or married into others.
She thought even harder surly she had been at her last relative’s funeral, when was it, it was a great aunt she remembered, and the surname was …, she thought really hard. She was in the Amyrlin’s bedchamber reserved for the current leader of the white tower. That said like most of the past Amyrlins before her she kept the bedroom nice and simple. The single window held a cooling fan with right below it a heater coil. The other wall held a closed door which led into her bathroom, the next wall holding another door leading out of the bedchamber into the office of her role. The last wall held the only other furniture besides the plain brown four poster bed she was laying on. A white nightstand with built in mirror and matching white clothed chair. The bathroom was large and would hold her wardrobe of clothes along with the indoor plumbing necessities.
Mariann thought back to each of the eight oaths she took on the life rods, trying to remember which one she had last taken when she attended her aunt’s funeral. Small cylindrical devices no longer than her arm, when you take an oath on one your life actually increases by a standard lifetime or roughly 100 years depending on the person, those stronger in the one power given slightly more. Really giving any oath at all would do for the increasing your life, the only requirement being you channel Saiadar while making your oath and someone else that can also channel does so to activate it. However each specific Ajah required you to take a specific oath, and the eighth oath rod was solely for those like her who have taken the Amyrlin seat after having have pledged on the other seven, again a specific oath.
“I will say no word that is untrue”. Eight oath rods, and eight times this is spoken to ensure you do not offer a false oath, as if anyone would think of lying so many truth seekers everywhere.
“I will faithfully serve as Amyrlin to all of my children for the rest of my days”. The Amyrlin seat was a lifelong position and would not open again until her death. Serve all her children, it was said that the ancient honorific Amyrlin meant something like mother to all, it means that she was a servant to everyone in the world, matter it not she was the leader of the white tower. That first part about serving faithfully as Amyrlin could leave some wiggle room depending on how one viewed the title of Amyrlin, the last however left no wiggle room for anything.
“I will treat everyone with fairness and justice as is prescribed by the dai’shan aiel of the grey tower and the Aes Sedai code of ethics”. Those were binding stronger than time itself. The grey tower first because only the dai’shan aiel more than anyone can decide what is fair and right, they were and are the original truth seekers among so much more. You would also have as much power to reach the moon as you would to get the Aes Sedai code of ethics changed. First it would take a proposal from either of the leaders from the white or black tower. Either the Amyrlin of the white tower or the Pope of the black tower has to make a suggested change, which then needs to go through each Ajah/Faction and receive 90% approval, then it gets sent to the other tower to make its way up through the chains until it finally ends with the other towers leader. If it passes all of that it gets sent to the grey tower for approval again 90% before finally appearing before the first servant leader of the grey tower for final approval, and at any stage it can be stopped if it doesn’t pass.
That wasn’t it though, no she was not Amyrlin at her aunt’s funeral. Before then was the Blue ajah, which was closer. But still too recent, what level was she? The sleeping shift she wore was one of the new fads called a one piece. It was literally one garment that covered both legs and torso. It had several convenient buttons for keeping it on or taking it off. It was grey cotton all one solid color, and it was bunching up at the knees. Mariann distractedly Jerked it back into position. Her thoughts drifted too far back to when she had her very first foretelling which was that she would one day become Amyrlin seat. She was a young girl of only 16 years, and she knew without a doubt. It came in bursts though and it was not something she could control.
This vision came on stronger than any she had ever encountered before. So strong it jerked her body stiff as a board and slammed her down thankfully into the bed she was already laying on. An Evil shadow of a man, a giant taller than mountains, and blacker than the darkest shadows on a moonless night, peering down at the world smiling, that smile turning your blood to jelly and freezing you in place with its ill intent. A great serpentine beast came flying from the other side of the world, Long and scales glimmering like diamonds with talons made of pure gold but sharper than the sharpest knife, fire trailing from its partially open moth off its gleaming sharp teeth. It was equally large as the malevolent shadow man and flew on giant tornado causing wings straight at the other. They fought a great battle against each other, but in doing so caused so many deaths as swaths of their destruction ravaged the world. A flash of light and Mariann was staring at the grey tower as if just a few hundred yards away. She started walking towards it only to watch in horror and bewilderment as the tower before her cracked and collapsed as if a mirror or glass shattered. Another flash of light and she saw a baby boy, but he aged so fast right before her eyes until he died as an old man. She couldn’t remember much, but she knew deep down that he was in some way related to the other visions and this man, for it was definitely a man, was likely the cause of them.
Opening her eyes to stare at the brown four poster cloth above her and remembering every detail about her vision she distractedly spoke to herself . “Goshin is my sur name and I last heard it at Aunt Maragel Goshin’s funeral while I was at the green level”. She shook her head, that wasn’t important anymore if it ever really was. She quickly sat up in her woolen one piece swinging her feet over the side of the bed and hurried to her nightstand. Sitting in the chair she reached in one drawer to get paper and another to get an ink pointer. Channeling a single small strand of fire into a swinging glass bulb above her bed brought light into the room. She hastily started scribbling down every detail from her vision, she was grateful she always kept ink and paper nearby to do so.

Mr. Telamon was a nervous wreck while sitting in the hospital waiting room. He somehow knew, sensed something was wrong with his wife’s delivery. Dai’shan aiel were everywhere; as were nurses, patients or close kin waiting, Every once in a while a doctor’s assistant would come out and call a name ushering someone to see a doctor. Really bad cases would be taken in through a separate entrance known only to the healers. It didn’t matter, and he got confirmation as those doors opened up and not the assistant, but the doctor who had taken his wife looked around the room first at the dai’shan, then at him. A group of three of the white clad figures started moving towards him even before the doctor did. They felt his grief or rather the grief he was going to feel, even before he himself felt it. That and they knew it would take three of them to calm him down. Tears were streaming from his eyes before the doctor even started speaking.
“There was a complication during the pregnancy, your son is ok, your wife however did not make it, I’m so sorry. She did manage to tell us a name before she passed. Lews, Lews Therin after her father. Is that what you would like on the birth certificate?”
Baby Lews’s father numbly nodded, and the doctor walked away as uncontrollable sobs started emanating from the man. The three dai’shan aiel circled around him arm in arm and started singing a song of comfort and peace and mourning.
***
Rand Al’thor was asleep soundly when something woke him up, but he couldn’t tell what or where, or even anything for that matter. It was like the void, nothingness, but a sound, not a feeling, a heartbeat. The heartbeat was much faster than it was and suddenly something pushed him hard in the head. Go away he thought I’m trying to sleep. However the push came back stronger than before, this time managing to flip him upside down, upside down?, he could tell direction in this floating nothingness. Really awake now Rand tried to remember, remember?, remember what? Again the push and he was being squeezed to death and suddenly he remembered something about the dark one. A voice, a word, a sentence, the dark one wanted him dead. Was this the dark one trying to kill him, again push, again very tight squeeze, this time a light as if from a tunnel. It wasn’t the only light though, Rand went to the real void, and he saw it, Saiadin. He reached out with all his might to grab it and it came like a flood. He couldn’t control it, he had no strength, and his memory was foggy, he just expelled it to get out the other light and away from the pushing and death squeeze.
As Saiadin left him so did more and more memories, he tried to shout that he killed the dark one, sealed the bore so it could never be open. All that came out of his mouth was a scream. No blood and fire no I did this already, I won, I’m done. And with that last thought Rand Al’thor fell deep deep asleep into the furthest recesses of the brain. Lews took a deep breath and let out another scream wanting his mother or anyone to come pick him up and sooth his little soul.

The dragon is born!

Chapter 1
16 years later
The wheel of time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the age that gave it birth comes again. In one Age, called the fifth age by some and the first by others. An age yet to come, an age long past, a dark icy wind arose from about as far north as you can get. The wind was not the beginning. There are neither beginnings nor endings to the turning of the wheel of time. But it was a beginning.
A steam vent in an icy mountain let out a puff of sulfur like particles riding the wind. High and fast the dark tainted wind rode across the Nym fields, high enough to escape the notice of the Nym, ever vigilant in their desire to protect the world. Over the borderlands of mankind, given graciously by the Nym when mankind needs more space to grow. Still high in the sky the dark wind blew through wild wilderness where only the Nym, the Ogier, the dai’shan aiel, and the Aes Sedai were allowed to travel if at some risk. The wind started descending as it traveled into the warmer southern air. Up ahead in the distance was a magnificently large tower made of stone black like obsidian, but much stronger. Along the northern wall of this Black tower were several windows, most open hoping to catch some of the cool breeze which it did nicely.
It was into one of these windows the dark wind blew, a classroom, though filled only with boys. The tainted breeze flew around several students, all dressed in black school uniforms and sitting at wooden desks on little rickety stool like chairs with just the barest of backrest. The flow of air flew so close to the face of one student he gave a start, finally going up the next nearby student’s nose just as he took in a deep breath.
Lews gave such a start at the intrusion, and he stood up sneezing loudly, the rancid smell still strong in his nose. Taller than most of his peers he certainly stood over everyone’s head while they were all sitting down.
“What are you doing, you look like a dork, hurry and sit down before anyone notices.” His best friend [Ishamael]() tried to warn him. However, it was already too late for that, most of the class was now looking at him which made him self conscious even if the women all said he looked like a dream. Worse, the teacher at the front of the class in a very similar black colored uniform was looking at him expectedly.
“Yes Lews, do you think you know the answer?” To Lews’s horror he realized he had been spending most of the class in a daydream about being the most powerful weaver ever. It was important that distinction, woman channel men weave. Saiadar and Saiadin, two halves of the same whole, both apart of the one power the true source. Everyone could learn to use it, or at least almost everyone. The dai’shan don’t channel or weave for all the power of their songs, not one of them it’s a law to join among other things. Other people might be so weak in the power it should be they don’t have it at all, there are objects which can amplify or temporarily give someone use of the one power, those with so little power that resort to using these transcognative devices were often socially outcast. Transmogs they were called when someone was being nice.
That didn’t help him now, he was in history class, and definitely not studying Transmogs. Lews desperately wracked his brain trying to remember what they were discussing. The teacher’s slight smile was starting to droop to a slight frown. Nym’s that was what they were discussing, what about Nym’s? Desperately looking around for some hope, he finally remembered. It was a question about the first Nym, what was his name?
“Goak him jim knee?” Lews answered with a rightfully apologetic look on his face. Sighing the teacher said “close, Oakhimgimee. At least he was close!” The teacher got progressively louder while giving the rest of the class an evil eye. The laughter that had started quickly quieted. Just at that particular moment a loud bell decided to ring calling an end to that class period.
As the other students started standing up, talking, and starting to head for the door, the teacher weaved a small weave that produced a louder voice reminding the class they had the test coming up at the end of the week.
Lews slowly grabbed his bag and followed the steady stream of students leaving the class.

Note: Info on monetization and all that jazz: An Introduction To The Book That Is Me : ASMRScriptHaven (reddit.com)
Note: My library: Masterlist for edgiscript : ASMRScriptHaven (reddit.com)
Part 1: [F4M] Please Believe I Love You [Yandere?] [Bully Ties You And Tries To Convince You She Loves You] [Current Bully Is Your Future Wife] : ASMRScriptHaven (reddit.com)

Part 2

(Fireplace ambiance.)
Girl: Good morning, dear. Did you sleep all right? I know you’re still tied up. Or is it considered tied down?
What am I saying? It doesn’t matter. The important part is how did you sleep?
(Pause.)
Good. I’m glad.
(Long awkward pause as nothing is said.)
Um… I, uh… I made some breakfast. French toast with butter and maple syrup, and with plenty of bacon on the side. I was going to make some eggs over easy too, but I didn’t know when you’d wake up and they don’t taste as good cold. I could make some now if you want.
(Pause.)
Yes. I know it’s your favorite.
(Pause.)
Wait, honey, before you struggle any further with your thoughts, I know how strange and difficult and flat-out crazy this all is. And you’ve just woken up. Why don’t we wait to say anything more until you’ve eaten? Ok?
(Pause.)
Yes, I’m not naked anymore. I put on a shirt. I was a little chilly. Sorry. Would it make you feel more comfortable if I took it off again? I want to make sure you know I’m still not pranking you.
(Pause.)
(Confused.) I’m sorry? How would my being naked keep you from using the bathroom?
(Suddenly realizing.) Oh. Ohhhhhhh. Nope, I get it. (Smiling.) Yes, well, we can’t have that, now can we?
(Soft laugh.) Ok, then I shall remain clothed at least until you’ve had a chance to… well, you know.
(Pause.)
Yes, you can’t do that all tied up. I had a thought about that. Or rather, I prepared for that. Here.
(Optional moving of a chain and a click.)
I’ve attached this chain to your leg which is attached to that steel beam over there. It’s long enough that you can pretty much go anywhere inside the cabin. You won’t be able to change your pants while it’s on, so try not to get them dirty.
Let me untie you now so you can use the facilities.
(Pause.)
(Somberly.) Yes, I’ve considered that. You might try to overpower me this way and then find the key that will set you free.
Are you going to?
(Pause.)
(Softly.) Thank you.
There, you’re untied. Go ahead.
(Optional footsteps and a door opening. Then footsteps after a pause.)
I’m here, at the kitchen table. Please, have a seat.
(Optional footsteps and sounds of a chair being moved to sit in it.)
Please, eat. I’ve also prepared a glass of milk, a glass of orange juice, and a glass of V8. I wasn’t sure which one you’d prefer today. You tend to rotate between those three. Sometimes you’ll throw in grape juice or apple juice for a change of pace.
(Pause.)
Nope. No coffee. You hate it. It’s too bitter. You tried… or rather, you do try in college to learn to like coffee since you’re going to spend a lot of time staying up and studying and black coffee is fairly cheap, but after a week of suffering through it, you decide that it’s not worth trying to make yourself like something you detest so much.
(Pause.)
No, you don’t find tea disgusting, you just find it bland. Any “hot tea” tastes like warm water to you. You used to smile at me and tell me that I was the only “hottie” you enjoyed. (Soft laugh.)
You like sweetened iced tea, but you prefer Arnold Palmers, tea and lemonade together. You used to guzzle colas of all types, but you discovered… I’m sorry, you will discover five years from now that the caffeine addiction is really getting to you, so you stop.
(Pause.)
Yes, it’s a little difficult for me trying to wrap my head around what has happened versus what will happen and when.
And I have to acknowledge the fact that my being here like this changes what I know to be true, so everything I say about anything that hasn’t happened yet to you might not turn out to be true now.
Wait, does this mean you believe me? That I’m from the future?
(Pause.)
No, no. That’s fair. Believing that I believe it isn’t the same as believing it’s real. I could really be crazy.
To be even more fair, the technology that brought me here was experimental when I used it thirty years from now.
(Soft laugh of incredulity.) “When I used it thirty years from now.” It does sound completely insane, doesn’t it? I never thought I’d be mixing past tense with future tense like that and believing that it made sense.
(Pause.)
You’re right. It’s right out of a science fiction novel. If you think this is difficult to believe, consider it from my point of view. It’s possible that it didn’t work and that my brain was fried in the attempt. In reality, it could be that I’m still lying in a bed somewhere. I’m a vegetable that’s just locked away in a coma dreaming about all of this.
But, here’s the thing, if that’s the case, I don’t want to wake up. I love you. I love you and I’ve missed you so much. Being here with you right now, sitting next to you at the breakfast table, staring into your glowing eyes, being able to reach out like this and hold your hand again, (Tearing up.) it’s exactly where I want to be. If this is a dream, then I never want to wake up. I can’t be without you again. I just can’t.
(Pause while both are quiet.)
Do you… do you at least believe… that I love you?
(Pause.)
No, don’t apologize. I do understand. As sincere as I sound, my story is still a little hard to accept.
(Pause.)
No, I can’t take off the chain. If you left… (Breaking down.) If I lost you again for any reason…
(Composing herself.) Well, let’s not go there right now, ok?
(Sniffles. Wipes the tears from her eyes and moves on calmly.) So, where do we go from here?
(Pause.)
Ok, yeah, that’s a good idea. I’ll start from the beginning.
(Deep breath.) Well, you already know what’s happened so far. You and I at each other’s throats, back and forth.
You and I continue fighting and bullying one another for the rest of our senior year and then even on for a couple of years after that. We then each go our separate ways and, long story short, we meet up again ten years later and reconcile.
(Pause.)
You’re right. You deserve more than the short version.
Truth is, I went to therapy and got counseling. I didn’t know why I was obsessing over you so much. Why you drove me to act the way I did.
I found that I was attacking you when I was younger… or, you know, younger to me, but right now to you… because I had a crush on you and didn’t know how else to express it.
(Pause.)
Yeah, that’s the simple way of putting it.
Most of the male role models in my life left me in some way. I had a brother who was twelve years older than me. I loved him so much, but he graduated high school when I was just entering first grade. He got married and moved across the country. I only saw him a couple of times after that.
A childhood friend I’d had for two years suddenly decided he wanted to bully me and push me around and so I stopped playing with him.
Even my father… he died when I was eleven.
(Pause.)
Thank you for saying that. I know you lost your parents too when you were young.
Anyway, it all adds up to the fact that I… I liked you when I met you. Our first few days of knowing each other and hanging around were great.
(Pause.)
Good, I’m glad you thought so too.
(Pause.)
Yes. That’s right. I started acting out against you, for no reason. My therapist said it was because I was imposing upon you every angry or bitter feeling I’d had towards every man I’d ever loved in my life.
Something within me snapped. Every man I’ve ever loved left me in some way. Whether they’d changed, met someone, or… or even died, I started lashing out at you because… because you were kind and sweet and nice, and because… I liked you.
Apparently, it was because you were so wonderful that I started hating you. Something within me jumped ahead to the inevitable point where you’d betray me or hurt me in some way by leaving me, and I started to treat you like you’d already left me.
And I’m sorry for that. I explained this once and apologized before, but I’ll do it again. And I know I haven’t explained it to you, the you of right now. I explained this to you, like, ten years from now, when we reconciled.
(Pause.)
Yes. That’s exactly what happened. You were very sweet and understanding. You forgave me. We started hanging out. First it was because I wanted to make it up to you for all of the terrible things I’d done to you, and you were going along with it to make me feel better. But then you really started to like being with me. We became friends, then the closest of friends, then lovers, then we married, and then…
(Pause.)
Yes. You did… leave me.
(Pause.)
(Slowly getting sadder with the remembering.) No. It was just one of those things. It wasn’t some exotic disease or cancer or anything like that. We thought you’d just caught a cold. But you ended up with double pneumonia, you were in intensive care for a few days… and then you were gone.
(Pause. Listener is speaking while girl is crying, but trying not to.)
No, it wasn’t your fault. I did know that. I was… hurt. I was angry. But not with you. I wanted to blame the universe. I wanted to blame fate. But in the end, I realized that the person who deserved all of the blame… was me.
I was so sure that I was going to be hurt, that I kept myself from the greatest love I had ever known, for years. We could have been together all this time. I could have loved you right now instead of blaming you for something that hadn’t happened yet and then wasn’t your fault when it did happen.
So, when the technology was invented, I volunteered to be a test subject, because I so desperately wanted to correct the errors I made with you. Because I so wanted to hold you in my arms again and tell you how much I loved you. How much I still love you.
(Pause.)
Please, say something. I know it’s all so difficult to believe, but it’s the absolute truth. I really am back from the future, your future, and I really do love you with all of my heart.
(Pause.)
Isn’t it obvious? I tied you up and brought you here because you never would have believed me if I, your bully, had approached you with this story. I needed time to get it all out. I needed you to listen to the whole thing. I thought if I had you at my mercy and did nothing harmful to you but treated you with love and showed you how I feel, that would help you believe me.
And, admittedly, I missed you so much. I love you so much. I couldn’t be without you any longer. So, yes, it was a little selfish. I’ll be honest with you about that. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do if you didn’t believe me and kept hating me. Was I going to keep you here all of your life? Or would I just… give up… on everything?
(Pause.)
Yes, we were trying to have a child. It hadn’t worked in our first two months after getting married, but we weren’t stressing it. We thought we had plenty of time.
(Pause.)
Erin. We would have named our child Erin. E R I N if it was a girl and A A R O N if it was a boy. After your grandmother, Erin, who raised you after your parents died. That was non-negotiable. You demanded that be the name of our first child.
(Listener pushes his chair back.)
What are you doing? Why do you want me stand? Is there something…
(Long, deep kiss.)
(Tears of joy.) My love. Does this mean…
(Kiss.)
(For the rest of the script, girl is happy, but still crying and sniffling. I’ll let you determine how you want to do it, but that’s her general attitude.)
Whoa. You’re picking me up. Where are we going?
The bedroom? But you haven’t finished eating your…
(Kiss.)
Ok, I’ll shut up. My love. You just want to lay down and hold me like you couldn’t do when you were tied up. Of course. Whatever you want. Anything. You name it and it’s yours.
(Pause.)
Oh, no. I think I’m still going to tie you up tonight and for several nights.
(Pause.)
No, I don’t think you’ll try to run away from me. But you were so damn cute all tied up like that.
(Laughs.) You want to tie me too? Well, maybe we’ll just have to take turns.
(Kiss.)
Oh, my love, hold me. Please, just hold me.
You’re back. You’re back and you’re mine again. We have our whole lives to be with each other. And I want to spend all of it right here in your arms.

Age of Legends
Prologue(Death and birth of a dragon)

Rand was happy, there wasn’t much else he could say about how he felt right there at that specific moment. Lying there in bed wearing nothing but his small cloths and a silk shirt half buttoned. Beside him sleeping so peacefully was one of his beautiful wives, Elmindreada, though she hated that name and preferred Min. Thinking back on many long years of peace and growth, yes he was fated to break the world, and he had. Though the prophecies never mentioned the creation and growth he would also leave behind. The creation of the black tower and the worldwide acceptance of male Aes Sedai, his crown and epitome of success the cleansing of saiadin. That and the discovery of ancient knowledge to confirm anyone should be able to learn to touch at least a small part of the true source, at least most people could. Those two things alone would have vast and far-reaching consequences for the good. The covers beside him shifted as his wife turned over in her sleep showing him her short curly hair. Thoughts drifting again to convincing the Aeil and Tu’athan(the tinkers he thought fondly still) to make peace, them taking it a step further and settling in the two rivers. The tinkers, the wondering people and followers of the way of the leaf, coming to terms with the Aiel spear wielders and settling in one place, that one place being his boyhood homeland. Perrin was there, as well as all the Emond fielders, what’s more they set him up like some king and started calling the place Manetheren.
Mat even came back and settled down to retire with the remainder of his family after his wife the empress died. Rand frowned because that wasn’t a happy memory, her battle with some kind of internal growth that even the best healers couldn’t fix, it was slow and painful. She was tough and knew enough to put things in order so there wouldn’t be any war for succession, but after her death and with no children not adopted, Mat just had no pull to stay. He came back and Perrin gave him an estate where he spent the rest of his days carousing in taverns even if no one would play dice with him again. The rest of his days were not much however, less than two years after his wife Mattrim died of a heart attack. The same strange fox head medallion he wore around his neck that had saved him so many times from enemy power wielders, due to its powers of absorbing any of the one power used against the wearer, was strangely the main cause of his death as there had been an Aes Sedai capable of healing close by. Rand wondered what ever became of that medallion. Trying to shift his thoughts back to happier things he thought of Elayne another of his wives and queen of the region this new “kingdom” was growing. Or at least she was. Having not one but two kingdoms to run was taxing her, especially when one played that awful game of houses so much, as if it were breathing. She actually willingly gave that area to Perrin, that and more besides. “Having friends at your back, especially friends who know they owe you can only help.”, he remembered her saying when he asked her.
He laughed remembering how her cute golden-haired little face grew so stern while she rounded on him for not caring about his friends and shouldn’t they also get something for all the help they provided at the last battle. Of course, it also had nothing to do with being such close friends with Perrin’s wife Fail. Manetheren though, when asked Perrin just shrugged his huge shoulders saying one name is as good as any, and it was the one that everyone agreed on.
Min groaned softly beside him still wrapped in the silken bedding spread. His laugh seemed to have disturbed her, he quickly stifled it and glared at the lavish bedroom they slept in as if that were the fault for his mirth. Lying on top of the silken covers because he never quite got used to sleeping on feather mattresses. It really was a lavish bedroom, filled with rugs and wall coverings, paintings, not one but two large dressers with mirrors, a matching and equally large wardrobe, currently opened showing two other mirrors on the inside of the doors, smaller than the dresser mirrors, and a neat array of blouses and trousers with floral embroidery(Min’s things). Otherwise, there was also a washstand with another small mirror, a desk and one chair slightly askew and away from the desk. On the desk are several stacks of books, and an open notebook with a nearby quill and ink pot. There was a lone unlit lamp also on the desk gilded in gold, as well as several gold gilded wall lamps also unlit around the room.
Sighing softly as Min settled back to comfortable sleep, he stared back up at the bland whitewashed ceiling above him and thought about the schools he had patroned. So many new ideas and inventions were springing up and with traveling prevalent they all spread to the world almost as fast as the ideas can be thought up. This would hopefully lead to a golden age for the world, and his schools were even branching off on their own into new learning institutes. These alone seemed to keep the peace between all the nations. Rand couldn’t tell if he was trying to be modest or humble. Yes he patroned and started the first few schools, but it was not all him coming up with any of the ideas and inventions, many of which had become marvels in and of themselves. Transportation, communication, education These would be left behind and he would be known for that as well as the other.
Breaking the world to make it whole, and his victory with that world’s armies at the last battle. He fought the dark one while the armies of all the nations fought the shadowspawn and darkfriends and dreadlords. Despite everything against him, including it seemed sometimes even the creator, he not only won the battle, but he survived it, he survived it and had a nice long life. The world was at peace, headed to a golden age which he would get credit for, and so Rand was happy. His eyes closed and his thoughts grew that sort of muffled feeling they get just as they start turning into dreams.
PAIN! Rand knew pain, he was no stranger to hurts, especially from a half healed old wound in his side, but that was not the same thing right now. For some reason panic started rising up in him, this was something new, this was something worse. A sharp pain again, in his chest, his body wildly spasmed up kicking his sleeping wife awake.
“Ow you bloody tall buffoon, if you think you can kick me out of bed you have another thing …” Min trailed off as another spasm of pain racked through Rand. Her face contorting with fear as she watched him clutching his chest nearly double over with the pain spasm. He tried to tell her he would be alright, but all that came out was a groaning grunt. He tried lifting his hand to show her it would be alright, but he couldn’t get it to move. Suddenly a hand hit him in his face, it was his hand. He couldn’t feel his hand or his arm. Fear started creeping in as another spasm of pain caused him to let out another groan and clutch at his chest with this hand he couldn’t feel.
“Creator shine his light on me, of course you would choose to die when you’re with me.” Min started shouting hysterically. “For the love of light you bloody wool head, you hang on until I can get Aviendha to come heal you, she’s not far, just hold on damn you.”
Rand vaguely had an impression of Min running towards and out the door. Another spasm of pain, except somehow this was less. He knew it should hurt just as much, but it didn’t. He must have found the void so it wouldn’t hurt as much, that was it. Rand thought about his third and final wife Aviendha, how she would likely come in to find him as healthy as a bull and upset his stomachache disturbed her wise one’s practice. Stomachache? Wasn’t it his chest that was hurting him? Another very small spasm, yes its his chest, but he was also feeling decidedly nauseous too, and that was the greatest issue right? Sleep was all he needed, he would sleep, and everything would be fine in the morning, tomorrow he had to get up early to sheer the sheep.
The void completely surrounds and envelops Rand. As he fades away he hears a sinister voice in his head, “YOU WON THIS ROUND DRAGON REBORN BUT WE WILL COME FACE TO FACE AGAIN” The dark one, what, again? No, the dark one is dead, am I dead, wake up you light blinded fool. There was nothing but the void, not even the light of saiadin could be seen. Rand listened as hard as he could, he thought he heard something, something almost familiar. There it was again, soft but rhythmic, sounding not exactly far, but muffled as if listening through water. Thump Thump and it hit him, that’s the sound of a heartbeat, but who’s heartbeat his? Sleep, that’s what he needed, a really good nights sleep and he would feel better in the morning. Rand drifted off into a dreamless sleep listening to the heartbeat, Thump Thump.
Thus did the dragon reborn die after seeing the end of one age turned into the beginning of another. The people of the land wept at his passing, they swore they would remember him forever and always. Time however is not a kind mistress, when an age is gone it starts to fade from existence, times deeds even people change in the telling’s of the years and centuries. Eventually when the wheel goes round and gives birth to the age again all details have been forgotten, muffled, or contorted.

Mariann Jo’sheen Sedai was old. She had a proper last name once if she could just remember. It had been so long ago since she had last thought of it, a life in the white tower could do that, and Sedai was as good a last name as could be for formality. Just saying Mariann was old was an understatement though, being a woman with a stronger channeling ability, and having sworn on all 8 Life Oath Rods, a prerequisite to becoming Amyrlin of the tower, that she even has any grey hair showing means she must be well past 800 years old, and to show the amount of age she did it must be closer to past 900 years. She was still sharp in mind mostly, at least anything from the last 100 years or so she could recall as sharp as if it happened yesterday. Had it really been longer than a hundred years since she last though of her family name, having long lasted past the last of her lineage, her family long gone or married into others.
She thought even harder surly she had been at her last relative’s funeral, when was it, it was a great aunt she remembered, and the surname was …, she thought really hard. She was in the Amyrlin’s bedchamber reserved for the current leader of the white tower. That said like most of the past Amyrlins before her she kept the bedroom nice and simple. The single window held a cooling fan with right below it a heater coil. The other wall held a closed door which led into her bathroom, the next wall holding another door leading out of the bedchamber into the office of her role. The last wall held the only other furniture besides the plain brown four poster bed she was laying on. A white nightstand with built in mirror and matching white clothed chair. The bathroom was large and would hold her wardrobe of clothes along with the indoor plumbing necessities.
Mariann thought back to each of the eight oaths she took on the life rods, trying to remember which one she had last taken when she attended her aunt’s funeral. Small cylindrical devices no longer than her arm, when you take an oath on one your life actually increases by a standard lifetime or roughly 100 years depending on the person, those stronger in the one power given slightly more. Really giving any oath at all would do for the increasing your life, the only requirement being you channel Saiadar while making your oath and someone else that can also channel does so to activate it. However each specific Ajah required you to take a specific oath, and the eighth oath rod was solely for those like her who have taken the Amyrlin seat after having have pledged on the other seven, again a specific oath.
“I will say no word that is untrue”. Eight oath rods, and eight times this is spoken to ensure you do not offer a false oath, as if anyone would think of lying so many truth seekers everywhere.
“I will faithfully serve as Amyrlin to all of my children for the rest of my days”. The Amyrlin seat was a lifelong position and would not open again until her death. Serve all her children, it was said that the ancient honorific Amyrlin meant something like mother to all, it means that she was a servant to everyone in the world, matter it not she was the leader of the white tower. That first part about serving faithfully as Amyrlin could leave some wiggle room depending on how one viewed the title of Amyrlin, the last however left no wiggle room for anything.
“I will treat everyone with fairness and justice as is prescribed by the dai’shan aiel of the grey tower and the Aes Sedai code of ethics”. Those were binding stronger than time itself. The grey tower first because only the dai’shan aiel more than anyone can decide what is fair and right, they were and are the original truth seekers among so much more. You would also have as much power to reach the moon as you would to get the Aes Sedai code of ethics changed. First it would take a proposal from either of the leaders from the white or black tower. Either the Amyrlin of the white tower or the Pope of the black tower has to make a suggested change, which then needs to go through each Ajah/Faction and receive 90% approval, then it gets sent to the other tower to make its way up through the chains until it finally ends with the other towers leader. If it passes all of that it gets sent to the grey tower for approval again 90% before finally appearing before the first servant leader of the grey tower for final approval, and at any stage it can be stopped if it doesn’t pass.
That wasn’t it though, no she was not Amyrlin at her aunt’s funeral. Before then was the Blue ajah, which was closer. But still too recent, what level was she? The sleeping shift she wore was one of the new fads called a one piece. It was literally one garment that covered both legs and torso. It had several convenient buttons for keeping it on or taking it off. It was grey cotton all one solid color, and it was bunching up at the knees. Mariann distractedly Jerked it back into position. Her thoughts drifted too far back to when she had her very first foretelling which was that she would one day become Amyrlin seat. She was a young girl of only 16 years, and she knew without a doubt. It came in bursts though and it was not something she could control.
This vision came on stronger than any she had ever encountered before. So strong it jerked her body stiff as a board and slammed her down thankfully into the bed she was already laying on. An Evil shadow of a man, a giant taller than mountains, and blacker than the darkest shadows on a moonless night, peering down at the world smiling, that smile turning your blood to jelly and freezing you in place with its ill intent. A great serpentine beast came flying from the other side of the world, Long and scales glimmering like diamonds with talons made of pure gold but sharper than the sharpest knife, fire trailing from its partially open moth off its gleaming sharp teeth. It was equally large as the malevolent shadow man and flew on giant tornado causing wings straight at the other. They fought a great battle against each other, but in doing so caused so many deaths as swaths of their destruction ravaged the world. A flash of light and Mariann was staring at the grey tower as if just a few hundred yards away. She started walking towards it only to watch in horror and bewilderment as the tower before her cracked and collapsed as if a mirror or glass shattered. Another flash of light and she saw a baby boy, but he aged so fast right before her eyes until he died as an old man. She couldn’t remember much, but she knew deep down that he was in some way related to the other visions and this man, for it was definitely a man, was likely the cause of them.
Opening her eyes to stare at the brown four poster cloth above her and remembering every detail about her vision she distractedly spoke to herself . “Goshin is my sur name and I last heard it at Aunt Maragel Goshin’s funeral while I was at the green level”. She shook her head, that wasn’t important anymore if it ever really was. She quickly sat up in her woolen one piece swinging her feet over the side of the bed and hurried to her nightstand. Sitting in the chair she reached in one drawer to get paper and another to get an ink pointer. Channeling a single small strand of fire into a swinging glass bulb above her bed brought light into the room. She hastily started scribbling down every detail from her vision, she was grateful she always kept ink and paper nearby to do so.

Mr. Telamon was a nervous wreck while sitting in the hospital waiting room. He somehow knew, sensed something was wrong with his wife’s delivery. Dai’shan aiel were everywhere; as were nurses, patients or close kin waiting, Every once in a while a doctor’s assistant would come out and call a name ushering someone to see a doctor. Really bad cases would be taken in through a separate entrance known only to the healers. It didn’t matter, and he got confirmation as those doors opened up and not the assistant, but the doctor who had taken his wife looked around the room first at the dai’shan, then at him. A group of three of the white clad figures started moving towards him even before the doctor did. They felt his grief or rather the grief he was going to feel, even before he himself felt it. That and they knew it would take three of them to calm him down. Tears were streaming from his eyes before the doctor even started speaking.
“There was a complication during the pregnancy, your son is ok, your wife however did not make it, I’m so sorry. She did manage to tell us a name before she passed. Lews, Lews Therin after her father. Is that what you would like on the birth certificate?”
Baby Lews’s father numbly nodded, and the doctor walked away as uncontrollable sobs started emanating from the man. The three dai’shan aiel circled around him arm in arm and started singing a song of comfort and peace and mourning.
***
Rand Al’thor was asleep soundly when something woke him up, but he couldn’t tell what or where, or even anything for that matter. It was like the void, nothingness, but a sound, not a feeling, a heartbeat. The heartbeat was much faster than it was and suddenly something pushed him hard in the head. Go away he thought I’m trying to sleep. However the push came back stronger than before, this time managing to flip him upside down, upside down?, he could tell direction in this floating nothingness. Really awake now Rand tried to remember, remember?, remember what? Again the push and he was being squeezed to death and suddenly he remembered something about the dark one. A voice, a word, a sentence, the dark one wanted him dead. Was this the dark one trying to kill him, again push, again very tight squeeze, this time a light as if from a tunnel. It wasn’t the only light though, Rand went to the real void, and he saw it, Saiadin. He reached out with all his might to grab it and it came like a flood. He couldn’t control it, he had no strength, and his memory was foggy, he just expelled it to get out the other light and away from the pushing and death squeeze.
As Saiadin left him so did more and more memories, he tried to shout that he killed the dark one, sealed the bore so it could never be open. All that came out of his mouth was a scream. No blood and fire no I did this already, I won, I’m done. And with that last thought Rand Al’thor fell deep deep asleep into the furthest recesses of the brain. Lews took a deep breath and let out another scream wanting his mother or anyone to come pick him up and sooth his little soul.

The dragon is born!

Chapter 1
16 years later
The wheel of time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the age that gave it birth comes again. In one Age, called the fifth age by some and the first by others. An age yet to come, an age long past, a dark icy wind arose from about as far north as you can get. The wind was not the beginning. There are neither beginnings nor endings to the turning of the wheel of time. But it was a beginning.
A steam vent in an icy mountain let out a puff of sulfur like particles riding the wind. High and fast the dark tainted wind rode across the Nym fields, high enough to escape the notice of the Nym, ever vigilant in their desire to protect the world. Over the borderlands of mankind, given graciously by the Nym when mankind needs more space to grow. Still high in the sky the dark wind blew through wild wilderness where only the Nym, the Ogier, the dai’shan aiel, and the Aes Sedai were allowed to travel if at some risk. The wind started descending as it traveled into the warmer southern air. Up ahead in the distance was a magnificently large tower made of stone black like obsidian, but much stronger. Along the northern wall of this Black tower were several windows, most open hoping to catch some of the cool breeze which it did nicely.
It was into one of these windows the dark wind blew, a classroom, though filled only with boys. The tainted breeze flew around several students, all dressed in black school uniforms and sitting at wooden desks on little rickety stool like chairs with just the barest of backrest. The flow of air flew so close to the face of one student he gave a start, finally going up the next nearby student’s nose just as he took in a deep breath.
Lews gave such a start at the intrusion, and he stood up sneezing loudly, the rancid smell still strong in his nose. Taller than most of his peers he certainly stood over everyone’s head while they were all sitting down.
“What are you doing, you look like a dork, hurry and sit down before anyone notices.” His best friend [Ishamael]() tried to warn him. However, it was already too late for that, most of the class was now looking at him which made him self conscious even if the women all said he looked like a dream. Worse, the teacher at the front of the class in a very similar black colored uniform was looking at him expectedly.
“Yes Lews, do you think you know the answer?” To Lews’s horror he realized he had been spending most of the class in a daydream about being the most powerful weaver ever. It was important that distinction, woman channel men weave. Saiadar and Saiadin, two halves of the same whole, both apart of the one power the true source. Everyone could learn to use it, or at least almost everyone. The dai’shan don’t channel or weave for all the power of their songs, not one of them it’s a law to join among other things. Other people might be so weak in the power it should be they don’t have it at all, there are objects which can amplify or temporarily give someone use of the one power, those with so little power that resort to using these transcognative devices were often socially outcast. Transmogs they were called when someone was being nice.
That didn’t help him now, he was in history class, and definitely not studying Transmogs. Lews desperately wracked his brain trying to remember what they were discussing. The teacher’s slight smile was starting to droop to a slight frown. Nym’s that was what they were discussing, what about Nym’s? Desperately looking around for some hope, he finally remembered. It was a question about the first Nym, what was his name?
“Goak him jim knee?” Lews answered with a rightfully apologetic look on his face. Sighing the teacher said “close, Oakhimgimee. At least he was close!” The teacher got progressively louder while giving the rest of the class an evil eye. The laughter that had started quickly quieted. Just at that particular moment a loud bell decided to ring calling an end to that class period.
As the other students started standing up, talking, and starting to head for the door, the teacher weaved a small weave that produced a louder voice reminding the class they had the test coming up at the end of the week.
Lews slowly grabbed his bag and followed the steady stream of students leaving the class.

I was diagnosed with ADHD as a young kid and I really wouldn't be surprised if I'm autistic as well.
I've always had a lot of issues connecting with others. I used to have an extremely hard time reading somebody's intentions, the room, emotions. I'm a lot better with this now but as a kid... I was oblivious.
Growing up people often talked to me like they knew I was different. I don't know how to describe it excactly.. other then I'm less then, slower. I'm not a stupid person. I'm no Einstein, but I'm not stupid.
My family noticed I was different and probably through a form of projection would antagonize me until I had a melt down. I would never hurt anyone during these meltdowns. I would be antagonized until I would scream and cry and lock myself in the bathroom while my grandparents would tell me to come out immediately so they could yell at me for being upset by what they purposely did. Sometimes it was small arbitrary things that set me off. But usually it was my sister or grandmother purposely doing it.
They thought it was funny to see these meltdowns and would just keep going. Until I hit puberty. Then as guys do I got taller and such and still had these outbursts although I could control myself better. They didn't antagize me as much probably out of fear, instead they just neglected me entirely. As if I was something shameful.
I did pretty well in school even though teachers noticed I was.. "different". Up until there was a lot of family deaths I was to young to fully understand. None of my family really helped me through it. It sent me into a depression where I would refuse to do classwork. I remember during this time I was in 7th grade. And one teacher gave me a harder time and bullied me for not doing my classwork. One I respected and worked hard for. The others must of thought I had a lot of home troubles or I was very very slow. Kids and teachers alike would talk about me in front of me. Kids thinking I was brainless. And teachers pondering what might be wrong with me. I was in such a depressive state I didn't care. I didn't respond. I was near mute. And when I wasn't mute, I was the stereotypical adhd nightmare. Bouncing around, talking, being a clown.
They decided to put me I'm the sped class which made me more depressed. I wasn't stupid.. I just needed help. I needed an adult and guidance.
Fast forward to now I'm 23 living independently, I can keep down a job, and I do a pretty good job paying my bills, and I don't have these 'tantrums" anymore. Now, as an adult, it's more controlled moments of distress that I quickly move pass or avoid what causes them. Outside of that, I still struggle. I struggle to keep food in the fridge. I struggle looking for relationships, Making friends, maintaining established relationships, keeping hobbies, personal hygiene(I shower and clean my clothes, that's the extent. Clothes are often still crumpled and messy and my hairs always a mess.) its frustrating! I don't wanna struggle with basic things.
I don't click with people. I don't understand most other people. I'm not hateful, I'm not mean. Most people who actually know me describe me as funny and even calming. But it's so lonely. It's seems so much easier for others to click with each other. For others to find a significant other. To just be around other people. I'm not even shy necessarily, I'm just awkward and weird. I just wish I could have a more normal life.
I'm still either mute due to a social battery drain, listening to something zoned out. I'm still perfectly happy when I'm more mute, just wish to be left alone. Or I'm more hyperactive. I talk more then I normally would to people I like. And I feel 'bouncy" as I call it. Just childlike energy that shouldn't be normal for a man my age. This combined with the audio processing issue, and my brain moving faster then my mouth can work, l I feel stupid, I feel so abnormal. I'm different. Others notice and I feel treat me differently because of it. Like I'm just an idiotic man child.
It's just frustrating. And go add to this Evvvveryyyyyone has some kind of mental health issue or is neurodivergent. It's cute hahaha it's quirky hahaha 😜😋 a fun little lable to put on your shelf! ADHD, autism, depression, body dysmorphia, turrets, DID, and anxiety seem to be so cool and trendy!🤣😜 it's so cool and quirky that people give themselves Munchausen syndrome. Wonderful! So people with real issues are further shunned, looked aside, and approached with skepticism by Drs. Not even to mention how the media portrays it my god...
Anyways... As much as I'm going off about this, Ima happy guy. If someone can look past my awkwardness I'm usually pretty social. And I would like to think I'm a very nice guy. Not a "nice" guy. I'm definitely very proud of myself for accomplishing what I've done now. Living on your own these days with no family support at 23 since you were 19? No trouble with the law or drug/alcohol abuse despite it running in the family? That's hard even without a boatload of trauma and funki brain.
Thanks for coming to my tedtalk. Writing this has made me feel better. Hopefully, it can inspire someone! You can do it friends stay strong!♡

Hey there, I'm Ari. That's not actually my name but I like how it sounds and I don't feel like sharing my real name on here yet. I've been feeling pretty down lately and thought I could give this another go. I've pretty much had zero physical or emotional relationships so far and It's starting to be something I can't ignore anymore. I'm not looking for a full blown relationship right away. Especially with me, these things take time, and I would like to get to know you as a friend first before we try to make that leap. For the most part I'll be talking over reddit dm's but eventually we'd probably move to discord to talk more or play games and stuff.
About me:
I'm white and around 5'10" with long (I might be cutting it soon, sorry if you like long hair) black hair that I usually have tied up and brown eyes. I'm a heavier guy, usually sitting around 230-250lbs. Right now life has been very mean to me so I'm more like 260 currently. I have full-ish facial hair and almost never shave it fully. I mostly wear flannel and jeans. My wardrobe sucks honestly I usually wear the same 3-4 outfits. I have pretty basic hobbies. I game a lot, listen to music even more, and I used to play the piano back in high school. I still have one that I practice with occasionally. I usually play games like: Terraria, Minecraft, Stardew Valley, Helldivers 2, Dark Souls 3, Elden Ring, Bloodborne, Lies of P, Cyberpunk, Fallout NV/4, and Skyrim. My favorite musician is Porter Robinson, I listen to his stuff all the time(Side note: Porter just put out a new single called Russian Roulette and it's so good). Some of my favorite songs are: I'm Not Crazy-Kevin Walkman, Feel-Lies of P, I Really Want to Stay at Your House-Rosa Walton, Bug Bear- Chloe Moriondo, The Fire-Puppet, Language-Porter Robinson, Favorite Liar-The Wreaks, and Cold Weather-Glass Beach. I also have been listening to Critical Roll on Spotify a lot recently during work. I've always wanted to play D&D but have never had the time or people to try. I also work, a lot. I'm usually working 35-45 hour weeks. I'm not really big on birthdays also. I don't want big surprise parties or celebrations. Sleeping in, getting some takeout and playing some games with you would be perfect in my mind.
About you:
I'm really not one to choose looks over personality. The only things appearance wise that are a plus for me are freckles, and if you are chubby. I love chubby women, I think they are soft and give the best cuddles and are so cute. Ideally I'm looking for someone who can be gentle and caring. I love women that give praise and cuddles. I also love people who are passionate about something, I would love to sit and listen to you ramble about your special interest for hours. It would also be nice if you were also a gamer, a lot of the games I listed would be nice to play with other people. I think it would help me open up too if we used gaming as a medium to socialize. I've always wanted a partner who also listens to Porter Robinson, but that is by no means a deal breaker for me. Just a pipedream I entertain the thought of sometimes. I'm only looking for people around 19-29. I would prefer that you live somewhat close to Illinois but It's not a deal breaker if you're further. The only hard stance I have is that you do not do any drugs. I have a really bad past with drugs and I cannot have a relationship with someone who does them, even if it's just casual use. I'm okay with alcohol but only very casual drinking. I would prefer someone who doesn't try to drop hints that they're interested in me, I would like it if you were more direct. I will not understand that the hints are hints. Unless I've been told otherwise to my face, I will assume that you're just being really nice to me today or something. I also would prefer it if you don't have anger issues. I respond very poorly to being yelled at and would not like a relationship with someone who makes me feel like that.
That's pretty much it. Sorry if I don't respond right away, I work night shifts sometimes so my sleep schedule is all over the place.
(Also if any of my irl friends figure out that this is my post, no you didn't.)

Have you ever found someone that you connect with so much that you just know this rare connection is something you shouldn’t let go of easily?
Someone that doesn’t mind looking stupid in front of you and vice versa for the sake of giving your connection a fighting chance?
Someone you break dating norms with like double texting, triple texting, quadruple texting for good measure haha
Someone that pulls you out of your comfort zone and makes you uncomfortable enough to want to take the steps you never thought you even needed?
Someone that makes you wanna punch the air when they act rashly from a fight but also makes you wanna hold them close because you know even though they misunderstood your intentions, they must have been hurting.
Have you found someone that makes you rethink what you find cute? Like a mathematician and an idealist who can’t do basic math even if their lives depended on it.
Someone that will make you say…”this post was worth it”.
I never thought I would be using Reddit for this but how else would I find you?
If you’re 30+, live in MD, and you relate 100% to this post, ffs text me.

Three years ago, during the pandemic, I met a girl on a platform called Interpals. She was from Russia, and I was living in Ireland at the time. Back then, not many people knew where I was actually living due to privacy concerns.
We met and hit it off. We were both at our lowest points and had so much to offer each other. So, I gave her the key to my world and started introducing her to my favorite shows, songs, and everything else I loved. She embraced it all and made it ours. She was moving from Moscow back to Ufa, and I was about to return to Brazil. All we both truly wanted was to be together, to the point that we would play games, watch movies and TV shows, and sometimes even sleep together on long Discord calls. I promised her that I would buy a ticket, and I did (an overly expensive one). In the end, that ticket was never used, but I got a new one afterward after she gave me an ultimatum.
This ultimatum happened in October 2022. So, in December 2022, I went to Ufa to be with her. For someone who has traveled around the world, it was quite amazing to be so far from home, so close to the person I can only describe as the love of my life, all while being afraid of getting COVID. I arrived, and she was waiting to pick me up. I couldn't stop looking at her. We spent three cold, long months together, but time went by so fast. The day I had to leave, we spent hours in bed crying and hugging each other, thinking of many ways I could stay longer.
I went back to Brazil feeling a bit sick. My stomach wouldn't stop hurting, and my mouth too. Around May 2023, I went to the doctor for some exams. Through an endoscopy, I learned that I had a very early case of stomach cancer, and through an X-ray, I learned I had a small cyst in my mouth as well. As a preventive measure, I was prescribed capecitabine, something for cutaneous eruptions that I don't remember the name of, and sertraline to give me more control over my emotions during such a difficult time.
The thing is, sertraline did the complete opposite for a whole year. Not only would I sometimes be emotionless, but also more logical (which sounds good on paper but actually isn't). I also developed a very bipolar behavior that I never had before.
At that time, Lily was having a tough time studying to become a radiologist. Since she had been unemployed for a very long time and really wanted a job, I decided to tell her about my condition at a later date, which sertraline made me think would be better not to tell her at all. Around July, we got into a very ugly fight because I had a bipolar attack and unleashed a lot of unfair and mean words towards her. Later, when the effect of the drug wore off, I felt all my feelings rushing back to me, and I regretted breaking up with her. So, I tried my best to get her back, and I did.
Around that same time, I looked for my twin sister because my doctor claimed that depending on how long my treatment lasted, I might need her. I went after my sister and asked her for this favor. My sister wasn't very happy because it had been a long time since I last replied to her messages, so she wanted to play a game. She made me give her this cute nickname we exchanged when we were kids. I said I wouldn't do it, but she persisted. I said yes because I really needed her help. She said that if I didn't play along, she wouldn't come from Germany to Brazil to help me out.
So, time went by, and we were having lots of fun together. The incident where I broke up with Lily was now a part of the past, and that was for the better. Then, around November, I was streaming my screen to her—after all, I have nothing to hide—and she saw my WhatsApp and my chat windows and saw my sister there. She thought the nickname looked weird, and I started to panic because, in the chat, we were talking about my condition.
Sertraline caused in me this permanent paranoid state where I thought that if she knew I was sick, she would leave me, and that if she knew I was sick, it could ruin her studies. So, I kept it all to myself. Sometimes she would see me burning in pain, and I would brush it off, saying it was something I ate or whatever, but I would never tell her what was truly going on.
I told her about another tumor, a small cyst I had in my mouth, but not about the important one. She agreed to keep going, but in the coming weeks, she would often ask me about my sister and ask me to clarify this whole thing. I asked my sister to talk to her, message her, and clarify everything, but after the whole misunderstanding, she decided to stay away.
So, fast forward to this year. At some point in May, we got into a huge fight, and I suspect I never managed to clarify what truly happened that day to her. The reason I don’t remember is that I tried to take my own life by throwing myself in front of a car. That's what people told me; I just remember blacking out and waking up at the hospital with no recollection of what happened. My sister came from Germany to see me, and as it turns out, she did send videos, our chat logs, and a full clarification of what happened that day. I am not sure if Lily ever read it, but my sister did it.
As I came back from the hospital, I was ready to call her and hear her voice so we could play games and spend time together. After all, they told me I was in a car accident. I would only find out it was actually a suicide attempt a bit later at home.
So, I came to text her and found that I am blocked everywhere. I can't find her anywhere since she not only blocked me on Telegram and WhatsApp, but she also wiped out all social media she had. My friends told me that she doesn't seem to really care about what happened to me because she also blocked all of our friends. My sister looked for someone from Ufa to text her and check on her and also told a Russian friend of mine to text her as well to see if everything was okay. Later that same day, I got an email from her, very mad at me, saying that it's over between us and that she didn't want me to contact her. She bid me goodbye and farewell and blocked me everywhere again, so I don't get to talk or ask. All I have is this scrambled memory because I can't remember much from January up until now.
I was in a coma for three days, and she didn't care. I have these flashes of her saying things like how she loves me, and how she thinks it's great that we share the same interests and that there's no one like me around her. And then there is this memory of her voice crying, asking me to stay with her on Discord and sleep with her. I said that I had to go to the hospital because my stomach was hurting badly.
The good news is that they decided to run the surgery to remove the tumor when I was at the hospital. The bad news is that I wish I had stayed in a coma. Ignorance is bliss, and I miss her so much. I never thought it would be possible to miss someone like this. She is everywhere now because "my world" is now ours, and everything in my house, everything around me, feels hostile to me. I can't look at my collector's edition, I can't look at Resident Evil, I can't play Destiny, I can't do anything. Everything we did together for years only serves the purpose of making me hate myself now and feel worse.
When my dad died, my mom entered this downward spiral. They were very close, would do all sorts of activities together, and once he passed, she was miserable, and she still is miserable 25 years after what happened. I never thought I would be able to relate to that one day. I am back home, and I can't take a shower, can't work, can't do my chores, can't help myself because I think I am not going to make it.
This hurts so much, I just can't.
I just want to leave this here as a testimony/manifesto.
Lily, I never lied to you, and would never hurt you if it wasn't for my condition. I am so sorry for what I did to us. Know that I will love you forever; it doesn't matter if it's going to be here on Earth or among the stars. If I die before you, And if you die before I die, I'll carve your name out of the sky. And I'll defy every one and love you still. I will carry you with me up every hill It's better to love, whether you win or lose or die.
Hopefully, she will naturally come across this text one day. As for me, I’m not sure I will be around for long, but for now, I have this feeling festering inside of me because I feel deprived of being able to talk, or explain, deprived of an opportunity to try and fix things.

I want to start this out by saying I am a huge fan of Game Theory, and have been for a long time(there are old photos of a much younger me with MatPat at VidCon 2018). I think what Tom has done with the channel is incredible. That all being said, I take issue with their Indigo Park theory, more specifically their Rambley is Evil theory. I have broken my argument into 10 points:
1. The Rambley AI’s very existence: Why would Indigo create an AI out of Rambley, which functions as the primary mascot of the park, if he was getting replaced by Lloyd? That likely took a lot of effort to do, and doing it with a character you’re phasing out as your leading man would be a poor decision. The rest of this will basically be reinforcing this idea- Lloyd is not replacing Rambley, and it is in fact the other way around- Rambley is replacing Lloyd.
2. The painting in the Railroad: This painting is not depicting a friendship between Rambley and Lloyd. It is a reference to a painting found in The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh in Disneyworld. Why is this significant? The painting depicts a toad and an owl, with the toad handing the deed to the owl. These characters are Mr. Toad and Owl, from Winnie the Pooh. This is a reference to the fact that the Winnie the Pooh ride occupies the building that was previously Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride, and the painting is a depiction of Toad handing the deed to the building to Owl. Comparing this painting to the painting we see in Indigo Park, Lloyd is handing the deed to Rambley- this used to be Lloyd’s ride before Rambley took his place. Lloyd replaced Rambley. This is confirmed later in the game backstage.
3. Backstage items: There are two distinct items backstage that help prove that Rambley replaced Lloyd- a sign for Lloyd’s Limos and a bronze statue of Lloyd. The sign for Lloyd’s Limos would make sense if this was the ride that previously occupied the space that takes up Rambley’s Railway. It would be an easy enough change- swap the limos for a train, add a scene for Lloyd, and you’ve got a new ride. And while this is likely reading too far into it, the queue for the ride and the Hollywood theming surrounding Lloyd is very reminiscent of Superstar Limo, a ride at Disneyland that was a slow moving ride through vignettes that is infamous as the worst ride in Disney’s history. As for the bronze statue of Lloyd, it is backstage, where no guest would see it. This is significant because we’ve seen a similar statuel before- the Rambley statue just outside of Mane Stage. What if this section of the park used to be all for Lloyd, with a Lloyd’s limos ride that would empty out into a plaza with a statue of Lloyd and a stage show featuring Lloyd? I think this is how it used to be laid out, in a similar vein to Jetstream Junction being Mollie’s area.
4. The Throwback Lloyd Plush: It’s true that Rambley reacts by angrily wondering where his throwback is, since only Lloyd got one. However, he says the same of Mollie and Finley. This isn’t Rambley being jealous that Lloyd got picked over him, this is Rambley being upset that Lloyd, whom he dislikes, got special treatment that the others did not. It makes sense that Lloyd got this if you consider the earlier discussion wherein Lloyd was initially more popular before being supplanted by Rambley.
5. Rambley Costume: I think this is indicative of Rambley not being as popular as Lloyd(hence Lloyd being more used when the player was a kid) but eventually surging in popularity. After all, it’s safe to guess that the Rambley AI and critter cuff were fairly modern creations, and both were themed for Rambley. Mollie Macaw’s plushie on the info kiosk mentions, “when they first opened a new Mollie Meet & Greet.” This means that the park didn’t start with things like mascot costumes and meet-and-greets. Which likely means Rambley surged in popularity, and they got the Rambley Costume made just as the old costumes were being phased out. He wasn’t an old character with fading popularity, he was an old character with new found stardom.
6. The Rambley merchandise kiosk descriptions: Several collectibles found in-game are for Rambley. Rambley ears, Rambley cup, Rambleberry, Rambley Action Figure, and a Golden Rambley. Each of these items indicate that Rambley was the main figure of the park.
a. Rambley Ears- These are obviously inspired by Disneyland’s Mickey Ears, a hat styled after Mickey. The info kiosk entry for these mention DVDs for those that booked a reservation- this is also a real thing, Disney does this. The character mentions that his father promised to buy a pair when they went. Why would the character ask to get a pair of Rambley ears if Lloyd was his favorite? It’s because Lloyd didn’t have ears based on him- this merchandise was reserved for Indigo’s main man Rambley.
b. Rambley cup/Rambleberry- Similar idea as before- why would the park dedicate the collectible cup to Rambley if Lloyd was a bigger star? Similarly, Rambley’s response to the cup makes mention of “rambleberry juice” and he is very excited when you show him the Rambleberry collectible. This reminds me of Knott’s Berry Farm’s own Boysenberry(I’ve always wondered if the similarity is intentional). At Knotts Berry Farm, the Boysenberry is a minor icon in and of itself, featuring it’s own merchandise, and a juice served throughout the park. I think that it was similar at Indigo Park- the Rambleberry functioned as a minor icon on its own, and was tied to Rambley. This furthers the idea that Rambley is the main man, and replaced Lloyd.
c. Action Figure: Rambley’s action figure is called out as being new and sold in toy stores. While there’s no hard proof that Lloyd didn’t have his own, we have yet to see any of the sort.
d. Golden Rambley: Same as before- as far as we know, only Rambley got a golden plush a limited edition golden plush. And based on the dialogue in game, it was a highly desired item.
7. Game Theory is wrong about Rambley lying to the player: In the video, the theory suggests that Rambley is lying to the player, using as evidence the fact he says it’s Rambley Tuesday even though it’s a Saturday, the fact he writes off the wreck as renovations, and the fact he knew about the mascots. I think this is a mischaracterization of Rambley’s comments. I will grant that he fabricates that it’s Rambley Tuesday, however that is clearly just him trying to entice us to enter the park. As for the other two examples given, I do not think Rambley is lying to the player. For example, when he writes off the disrepair as renovations, I don’t think he’s lying to the player. He was created by Indigo Park to serve as a guide to the guests, part of which is sending them towards specific experiences ala Genie Plus(you see him do this when he directs you to Rambley’s Railroad, which introduces all the other characters). It would make sense if his programming compels him to spin things in a positive way- so he can’t admit the park is a wreck even if he sees it is, because he’s not programmed that way. As for Rambley knowing about the mascots, I don’t think he did. All Rambley says is that the “Mascots are…” and displays a deeply saddened body language we haven’t seen to that point. I think he’s telling the truth about being confined to the front- he hasn’t seen how the park really is and didn’t realize what the mascots had become. For more evidence, look at the way he reacts to Rooftop Racers being wrecked. He reacts saying that Mollie crashed into the ride and dials the repairman- he’s programmed to react to these things in-character. Mollie the Macaw as a character has a penchant for crashing into things, so it would make sense if Rambley was programmed to explain that she’s crashed into the ride whenever the ride breaks down.
8. Other details: There’s several details throughout the park that indicate Rambley is the leading man and took over Lloyd. The gift shop has Rambley faces on the floor and an entire wall of Rambley merchandise, the ferris wheel has Rambley’s face, the menu boards advertise getting your food “rambley style,” all of the trash cans bear Rambley’s iconography, and the critter cuff bears the same Rambley insignia. Rambley is EVERYWHERE, and as evidenced already, it was Rambley that replaced Lloyd.
9. He Hurts Lloyd: I don’t think the Mollie Macaw animatronic is saying this about Rambley physically harming Lloyd. I think this is the animatronic mimicking something it heard. It starts with Mollie’s catchphrase “Mollie Macaw, bird up!” before saying “Not Rambley, he hurts Lloyd.” I theorize that they gave the animatronic the ability to mimic, and at some point an employee commented that Rambley hurt’s Lloyd’s popularity- after all, the ride this animatronic is stored in used to be Lloyd’s before it was Rambley’s. This would line up with the mimicry we hear come from the living version of Mollie.

Old Character: Just as a side tangent, Rambley and the gang are all very old. I think when Finley mentions that Rambley has known him for 100 years, he’s making reference to the characters appearing in the classic cartoons mentioned in the Retro Lloyd kiosk entry.

Altogether, I thing Game Theory is on the right track with the living mascots(especially Salem’s involvement) and writing off Isaac Indigo, however I do not think that the Rambley is Evil theory is supported by the evidence. Rather, Rambley was a less popular member of the group that experienced a surge in popularity and supplanted Lloyd as the main character of the group. That's why Lloyd's signature item is a throwback, whereas Rambley's signature items are all modern.
TL;DR: The evidence in the game points towards Rambley replacing Lloyd after spending a long time in his shadow.

I simply don't know where to start with this.
I am a 26 year old white male from NW Ohio. I have never been in a relationship and I really do not know how it works. But the urge remains in me to find one. If I could stomp that feeling out of me, I probably would but I don't think that's possible.
I struggle with undiagnosed mental issues and since they're undiagnosed I simply don't know what or how much I have. I most certainly suffer from an anxiety disorder and there's a good chance I may suffer from bipolar 2 (not too, but the secondary version that involves depressive episodes and not manic episodes) or some type of depression. There's a decent chance that I have Autism and/or Asperger's. Who knows, maybe I don't have anything wrong with me (fat chance) but I feel like it should be a fair warning for anyone.
I am sadly technically a NEET. I am not in education, employed, or in training (which is what NEET means.) Due to this, I don't have a drivers license or a car. If you want meet up, you'll have to travel to somewhere I would be able to walk to.
I am a very reserved person. Like, I am an open book if I know and trust you enough, but I don't like airing my stuff out there. This whole thing is quite vulnerable to me. I would not be shocked if I back down from this very quickly. This is posted on a throwaway account too. I will eventually talk to you on my normal accounts when I feel comfortable.
I'm not ready for kids, nor do I know if I ever will be. (Please be child-free.)
My self-esteem is so low that it might as well not exist. I view myself as ugly and I do have a lot of qualities that would be deemed as ugly.
I have...

Glasses.
Bags under eyes, always.
An under bite.
Imperfect teeth.
A flat face on the profile view of the face.
Can't grow facial hair correctly.
Overweight at 235 LBs (like what everyone says, I am working on it... Honest!)

That being said, everything is subjective. These ugly traits you may find cute or could be entirely indifferent about.
I guess now that I have gotten all of the bad out of the way, perhaps I should actually talk about myself in a more positive light.
While I won't provide a photo of myself til I feel comfortable or feel like I can genuinely trust whom I am talking to, I can describe myself. Obviously, above is also applicable.
I am...

Somewhere in between 5'8 and 5'9. I describe myself as 5'9.
Brown Hair and Green Eyes. Though, is constantly in heated debate. Some people think I have Blonde Hair and/or Blue Eyes.
I try to wear my hair medium to long.
Typically in a graphic T-Shirt and always wearing jeans. No matter how hot or cold it is. If it is cold, I put a hoodie on. If its hot, I will suffer through it.
I used to wear red Converse High-Tops all of the time. But I do now switch between them and boots, as Converse aren't great for walking.

I am straight and monogamous.
My interests are...

Video Games
Personal Computers
Anime

A lot of these interests also focus on a certain era of it too. Namely from the 90's to the early 2000's. Doesn't explicitly stay focused there, but that's my comfort zone. I have a lot of deep interest with-in the production or what's going on under the hood. Sometimes I may have interest in a certain musical artist or album, but that's much rarer to happen. I don't really have much interest beyond that.
I have a large collection of video games, retro hardware, and have a selection of Anime on VHS and LD. Of course, I also have Anime on Blu-Ray and DVD when I want the best quality you can get but there's just a vibe with analog Anime pressings being watched on a CRT.
The type of music I listen to is mostly Metal and Alt Rock, with a little bit of a dabble in 90's East Coast Hip-Hop and Techno/Electronic. When I say Metal, I don't mean like hardcore screamo where the vocals sound like a blender, but like math rock and post-hardcore.
I enjoy going to flea markets, garage sales, and thrift stores. It is the places to get and find cool stuff for cheap.
I am not religious, at all. Would identify myself as an Atheist. I have no issue with religion beyond people using it as a vehicle to cause issue.
I smoke and use marijuana, but I don't drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes.
I politically lean left, but I am not really politically correct. I also don't let politics run or control my life.

What I want in a partner:

Sadly, physical attraction is very important to me. Bold from the dude who sees himself as ugly... :)
But, don't let that get in the way of shooting your shot. Low self-esteem is truly an awful thing. You may be entirely my type but you wouldn't think anyone wants you because of your self-esteem. Let the eye of the beholder be the judge. Please provide a photo when contacting me. I know, it is a bit selfish to ask to receive but not give one. I think it is better this way, as I don't want to hurt you by accidentally leading you on. When you take the photo, please have something identifiable in the photo that makes it be verifiable as authentic. Catfishers pound sand!
I would prefer you to be in NW Ohio or general Ohio, so we can hang out easily. You will have to travel to me though, as stated I have no means of travel outside of walking. But I am possibly open to LDR, but I wouldn't have confidence in the relationship from anxiety and having trust issues.
I don't really mind height, would prefer for you not to be taller than me, but not entirely out of the question. Would prefer you not to be heavy set, but I'm not looking for skeleton skinny. You could look somewhat plain or even look like an e-girl, or somewhere in-between.
I would like you to have similar interests to me, doesn't have to be 1 to 1 to my interests though. I find the odds of finding someone else into computers to my extent very low. I at least want to find someone who will tolerate it and find someone whom I can tolerate their interest like they would to me. I want to be able to have long conversations about stuff we both are interested in and be able to listen to each other and support each others other interests.
Do I care if you have Autism? Not at this time.
Do I care if you have mental issues? Really depends, but mostly no. Just don't be super high maintenance or in a state where you could cause my anxiety go crazy.
I would prefer you to be non-religious and be open to marijuana. I don't mind if you drink, as long as it isn't a problem. No current cigarette smokers though.
Perhaps we can go to Anime Conventions together? Bonus points if you cosplay.
Go thrifting with me?
No sex workers please! Past, Present, or Future. It is not for me, I wouldn't want my privates out there nor would I want a partner who has their privates out there. I have no issue with you as a person, it is just not for me, sorry. On top of that, please be monogamous too.
If you think you can handle this mess of a human, then reach out to me. Tell me about yourself! I want to hear your interests, your favorite things, and so on!

How do you make your signature girly and cute

r/HowTo

Part 2

What I want in a partner: