This is a stance I’ve taken quite often here on the sub, and I’ve mentioned a few times that I should just make a post that I can quickly link rather than typing it out each time. Basically, I push against referring to the 10 novels of the Malazan Book of the Fallen (MBOTF) as the “main 10,” and especially in referring to the 6 Novels of the Malazan Empire (NOTME) as “side stories.” I’ve often used the term “main 16” instead to include both, and while that is preferable if someone is planning on defining a main to refer to, you can also simply type “MBOTF” or “NOTME.” In any case, my argument is primarily that the MBOTF and NOTME together should be considered the main novels, even if spread over 2 series, and then the additional side series would be the prequels & sequels (and the novellas and short story of course).
Here are a few observations on how the MBOTF and NOTME are connected to preface my arguments:

• The 2 series’ plots are connected, but also separate. Either can be read in isolation and will be fine, although it is generally advisable to read the MBOTF first, simply to give better context, since 6 of the MBOTF occur before 5 of the NOTME. I will elaborate on this further in my first argument.
• Yes, the NOTME form a complete story. They are not 6 standalone novels, they are a series made with 6 novels that flow one into another and should be read as such.
• For a first-time reader, you may be asking whether to read the MBOTF and NOTME mixed together based on this post; it’s a very common question. Despite this entire post, I would still suggest to read the MBOTF first and then the NOTME, although I advocate for both being read before tackling any of the other novel series (also elaborated below). This is because the benefits of a mixed read are much less on a first read when you don’t know what to look for connecting the two. You’ll also experience quite a bit of stylistic whiplash and somewhat dilute the poetic flow of each series. On a first read, you’re pretty much limited to only reading in publication mixed order, which I don’t find very ideal. For more detailed discussions on this including various read order suggestions, see our community resources.
• This is connected to the above point, but the publication order of the two series doesn’t follow the timeline order, or even really a logical flow. You have to keep in mind that it took a lot longer for Esslemont to get published than Erikson, and neither author delayed publishing a novel so that another could come out first. 3 of the 6 NOTME each take place around the same time as the last 3-ish novels in the MBOTF, and that can be confusing, especially if read in pure publication order.
• Speaking of timeline, no matter what way you go about it, you’re going to run into timeline inconsistencies between the two series and even internally within each series and some novels. I’ve done my best to provide a best-we-can-do consistent timeline in this post (note, I am planning on doing a big edit of this document at some point, and will update this link at that time), and I’d also refer to see many posts by u/HumbleGauge exploring various possibilities and discussions around the timeline.

Now, onto my arguments:
Argument 1: The character and story arcs are connected between both series.
These two series are very connected, much more so than anything else existing in Malazan. Characters and plotlines will hop between them very often. This includes plotlines and characters who are more central in the NOTME coming over to the MBOTF. In fact, reading both you’ll come to realize just how many of the characters from the Empire itself are Esslemont’s, and are just being borrowed temporarily by Erikson. I will acknowledge that there are more plotlines started by Erikson that are finished by Esslemont, but this is more because 6 of Erikson’s novels take place before Esslemont’s start in force.
This is where my main umbrage with the term “main 10” comes from. That term implies to the reader that there will completely contained stories within the MBOTF and all will be wrapped up by the end. And as such, so many posts we receive here about completing The Crippled God are asking whatever happened to various characters. Part of the reason that Malazan has an unapproachable nature is because expectations are not set well before someone starts it. This is just as valid of something to warn a new reader about as the location hops in Deadhouse Gates and Midnight Tides, or as the in medias res nature of Gardens of the Moon.
The term “main 10” also, through omission alone, implies that the NOTME are not important parts of the Malazan mythos, which couldn’t be further from the truth. This is even worse when people refer to the NOTME as “side stories.” Esslemont helped craft the world and stories equally as much as Erikson, and his novels actually tackle a lot more of the lore and worldbuilding than Erikson’s do, albeit much more succinctly. The scope of the MBOTF narrows significantly after the first half, and that is when the NOTME pick up the worldbuilding. They explore much more of the physical world than the MBOTF does (7 continents/subcontinents vs the MBOTF’s 4), and spend a lot of time exploring the magic system, pantheon, various cultures, the Malazan Empire itself, recent history, and many of the races. It’s a shame that a lot of this isn’t experienced by many readers because they’ve simply dismissed the NOTME as a whole by thinking they are only side stories. Argument 2: The “meta” of writing that occurred between the two authors influenced both series.
Erikson and Esslemont have both commented that they are aware of what has been previously written, and therefore what is fair game to reference. This is the reason why they’ve suggested just pure publication order for a mixed read. It’s also important for us to see how this affected the formation of the two series.
While Gardens of the Moon was published first, the first novel written was actually Return of the Crimson Guard, followed by Night of Knives. With this in mind, we can see that so much of what ended up in the first half of the MBOTF was written to fit into a narrative where those 2 novels would eventually be published. Night of Knives is referenced as early as Gardens of the Moon and Deadhouse Gates, and has its first character cameo in House of Chains (before even those from The Bonehunters). Return of the Crimson Guard is set up all the way from Gardens of the Moon to The Bonehunters, which is then when the plotlines diverge between the two series. So we can see that in no way was Erikson writing the MBOTF as the “main” series while Esslemont had the “side stories.” To the two authors, both series were main, just being handled concurrently between the two of them. Argument 3: All the other prequel and sequel series assume that you have read both before. This ties in again with the above on how much lore Esslemont tackles, but all 3 of the prequel and sequel series (Kharkanas, Path to Ascendency, and Witness) assume that the reader has read both the MBOTF and the NOTME. Conversely, none of these series have been written in a way that they are referencing each other. After the MBOTF/NOTME, you could go to any 1 of these without reading the other 2, and not have to worry about missing information.
Both Erikson and Esslemont are authors that trust their audience is keeping up, and as such they won’t bother recapping things that they’ve previously written. This means that when something that was established in say the MBOTF or NOTME is referenced in another series, it’s not going to be explained again. I’ve been keeping this post spoiler-free, but for the sake of this argument I’ll give some examples, and tag them for each of these series, although I’ll still be keeping these vague:

• Kharkanas: This series is quite reliant on lore established in the NOTME. This is especially the case around how the warrens & magic work, what each of the races eventually become, and how the pantheon and elder gods end up so we can then see how all of these elements originated. It also really assumes you’re aware of where the Tiste especially will end up by the end of it, which is of course explored in the MBOTF for the Tiste Andii and Edur, and the NOTME for the Tiste Liosan.
  
• Path to Ascendency: This is written very much as a prequel. It is aware that the reader knows who the character are and where they are going to be in the MBOTF and NOTME, and really leans into that. There are also big timeskips that take place between novels where important events have taken place. Those events are already explored in the MBOTF and especially in the NOTME, and aren’t re-written to accommodate a reader who skipped those. The reader needs to come with the previous knowledge of what happened, and understand the implications moving forward.
  
• Witness: Here, recent history from the MBOTF and NOTME is very much required to understand the state of the world, both politically and in terms of the magic system. There are some outright references to events from both of the main series, and the whole thing is written around a theme of “legacy,” including that it is handling the legacy that was left by both authors previously.
  

Not my story, but I can omit enough of the details to feel comfortable sharing this.
My fiancée's mother lives in a remote community in Te Waipounamu / South Island of New Zealand. It is a two hour round trip to the nearest supermarket and the town only has a single tavern/pub on the main road, with a few stray roads and side streets populated by fairly run down / weather beaten homes.
Her neighbour (who we'll call Kelly) lived alone in a batch (Google "old new zealand batch" if you want to get an idea). She was a very odd lady who seemed to take it upon herself to discourage visitors to the beach her abode backed on to. It was a public beach and everyone's homes on that side of the road had easy access to it, but for some reason she became very combative and argumentative when she saw holidaymakers or roadtrippers strolling along the sand.
She also apparently had passports and other identifying documents in different names. She was an American who had moved to the country about 15/20 years prior. My mother-in-law got on with her fairly well but they would occasionally argue over boundaries and shared maintenance stuff - generally quite petty and they'd tend to make up fairly quickly.
Over the course of a few weeks, my fiancée would find out from her mother that she thought she was losing her marbles misplacing things. One item in particular was the brand of coffee she bought. Sounds daft to say but this was a very particular brand of coffee that few people would have bought locally. She was certain she had bought it during her last shopping trip and remembered using it a few times, but now it was gone. Shortly after, Kelly invited (let's call her...) Maude round for a cup of coffee and saw a half used bag of "her" brand in Kelly's pantry. Coincidence. Surely? But unlikely given Maude's tastes.
A few weeks later, Maude is told by a different neighbour that she had seen Kelly moving around Maude's property, from around the side of the house and down onto the beach towards her batch. The neighbour questioned Kelly, who responded very aggressively, like she had been caught in the act. This was enough to make Maude set up some affordable security cameras at the main access points of the home. Sure enough, some time later, she caught Kelly coming out of her house and walking back up the drive. And this didn't happen just the one time - it was multiple times. She'd access the house via the front door with a key hanging from a massive ring of other keys and then just as Maude was pulling into the drive, she was sneak out the back door and onto the beach.
Maude was outraged. She is a kind, generous and principled woman, but not somebody you want to get on the wrong side of. She changed her locks. I can't recall if she directly confronted Kelly over it, but she did call the police and got a trespass notice placed on her. Maude called her other neighbour to warn her about Kelly and her odd behaviour. Kelly was at this neighbour's house during the call. I don't know if she knew Maude was phoning about her, but that was the first chill I got over this whole thing. It felt insidious, like she was doing this to people all over the town and had access to all of these homes.
We came to NZ for a visit. We were staying in the North Island so Maude came up to see us, slightly concerned about leaving the house empty after putting the trespass notice on Kelly. She half-joked that she expected Kelly to set the place on fire while she was gone. She got that level of crazy off her. Maude returns to the South Island and we get on with our holiday, making our way down the country en route to Maude's remote home.
On the night before we were due to fly out to her, we get a call from Maude over dinner. My fiancée speaks to her and there's definitely something wrong. After a few minutes she ends the call and says, "Kelly's dead".
Maude had been at home for a couple of weeks and noticed that there was no sign of Kelly. Before she left to see us, Kelly had told Maude that she was due to fly out to meet with her family for a big holiday. She was very excited about it and told everyone who would care to listen. Maude assumed Kelly had left early, because she said her house "felt empty".
Then, a couple of days before we got to the town, Maude received a visit from two police officers asking if she had seen Kelly. She said no and that it had felt odd not to bump into her over the past week or so as she's usually out on the beach yelling at strangers or chatting aimlessly with locals. Maude told the officers they could check on her by walking onto the beach and up the embankment to her back door. If she was in there, they would see her. They said they were coming to the end of their shift and it wasn't worth their time starting a search of her property at that hour (typical small town New Zealand cops).
Maude's curiosity was piqued, so she took it upon herself to do a wellness check on Kelly. She went around the back of the property. Through the back door could see a bunch of suitcases packed and standing in the middle of the living room, like Kelly had been waiting for a taxi to collect her and take her to the airport. But no Kelly. There was even a sunhat sat on top of one of the suitcases. But the weirdest thing was sat on her back deck. A soaking wet backpack with Kelly's name and address on it. It wasn't a particularly rainy day, but the bag was absolutely sodden. She called the police again and they opened a missing persons investigation.
So, around a week or two later, we arrive. Barely enough time to drop our bags before the neighbours come round to get the goss. Maude was the person who knew Kelly best, even though the community knew she had been breaking in, so Maude's place was where everyone congregated to find out what she knew. Apparently, when the police searched her home, Kelly had other people's property on shelves and in cupboards. And that big set of keys she carried around had a key to nearly every house in the town. No idea how she got them, but she did. The police had found her body on the rocks beneath a nearby cliff.
It was an eerie few days as our bedroom window faced her batch. I knew what Maude meant when she said it felt empty. Days went by and the Kelly situation slipped our minds. I had become a bit uncomfortable with the gossiping from neighbours speculating over what had happened. There was chat about her meeting with fishermen from the local towns and that perhaps one of them had done her in. There are odd characters in small town NZ (and lots of spooky stories about people vanishing without a trace (search 'Piha vanishings', nothing to do with this story as it's in a completely different part of the country, but similar in some regards).
In my opinion, Kelly was a desperately lonely and very odd woman who most likely took her own life.
A year later, we had officially moved to New Zealand. We were visiting Maude for a few weeks and one night, we were skipping around different streaming services trying to find something to watch. I pointed out a particular show I had been keen on watching, which Amazon said was half finished on Maude's account. I asked her what she thought of it. "I haven't watched that show", she replied. And then it dawned on us. During her break-ins, before Maude had changed the locks and put the trespass notice on her, Kelly had been taking Maude's food, stealing her possessions and had been sitting in the house watching her Netflix and Amazon, before darting out when Maude returned home.
In that moment, while I still hold a huge amount of sympathy for whatever she had been going through, I felt immediately creeped out that Kelly had been sat on that sofa as an unwelcome guest an untold number of times.

Salutations, as the title states I'm going to name one song for every VShojo member that fits them the most, why am I doing this? To quote a fan of radio's "Why does anyone do anything, sheer absolute boredom." And since I'm a fan of both Sabaton and VShojo two polar opposite things, I decided to make this list. Without further ado. Enjoy.
Ironmouse - Hellfighters/The Unkillable Soldier.
Reason: I personally picked Hellfighters for two reasons, one the song is about the 369th Regiment a regiment of Puerto Rican and African-American forces. Two, because, well in the lore Ironmouse is Sayton, put two and two together. For the second choice of The Unkillable Soldier, well it fits due to both Adrian Carton De Wiart and Ironmouse's will to push forward in the most desperate of times.
Kson - Shiroyama
Reason: Shiroyama is one of the few Sabaton song's to be about Japan and the only Sabaton song about Japan not taking place during the Second World War. To quote the official Sabaton website about the song's story, "A turning point in Japanese history, the Battle of Shiroyama took place in 1877 and marked the end of Japan’s most famous warriors. The Satsuma Rebellion was the very last revolt of the Samurai against the imperial government of emperor Meiji."
Henya - Father
Reason: This one is probably going to be a controversial pick but I honestly couldn't think of anything better. Father is about Fritz Haber, a German/Prussian scientist who would create the Haber-Bosch process, an invention that lead to a significant boom in population due to the increase of agriculture. It should go without mention that Fritz Haber was also the one who helped Germany create lethal gas during World War 1, but with that aside. Both the 999IQ Genius Henya and Fritz Haber were both really smart people (or at least, Henya is, sometimes. Lol, love to the kettle.)
Kuro - Attack of the Dead Men
Reason: Like other songs on this list, most of them are based on the lore of members in VShojo since it's really hard to find songs directly linked to them. This case goes for Kuro as well. Attack of the Dead Men is based of the Siege of Osowiec Fortress and the events that would occur when the Germans gassed the Russian trench lines. On the early morning of the 6th of August, 1915. A cloud of poisonous gas crept of the Russian lines. As the Germans advanced through the gas, they could see figures stand back up. The Russians attacked the Germans and forced them back with pure anger and fury. Revenge for they're fallen comrades. It was the Attack of the Dead Men. In Kuro's lore, (from what I remember off the top of my head.) is about him basically coming back from the dead. Which fits with the song very well I'd think.
Apricot (Froot) - Metal Trilogy
Reason: Froot, being the metal head of VShojo was probably the easiest on the list to pick a song for. Metal Trilogy is a song which combines the three song's Sabaton have made as tribute to the metal genre. These three song's being in order of when they were released, Metal Machine, Metal Crüe, and Metal Ripper. I feel like it is blatantly obvious why I picked Metal Trilogy (especially since my indecisive ass would've been here for hours trying to pick which of the three songs would be better.)
ZZZZZZZZZZZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNN - To Hell and Back
Reason: Texas, yep that's it, pack up your bags. Anyway, To Hell and Back is about the WW2 hero and Hollywood actor, Audie Murphy, a short man from Texas. Who, fun fact, potrayed himself in the move by the same name as the song, "To Hell and Back." Both Zen and Audie Murphy were/are badasses.
Projekt "Yoga Instructor" Melody - The Future of Warfare
Reason: This one mean's two things to me in my brain, spiritually when tying Mel to this song it could mean how she was the pioneer of lewdtubing. The second thing it could be is, hehe funny metal machines go BRRRRRRRRRRRR... you know come to think of it, Metal Machine could also work for this, reason? Why do you think the line, "Come suck my Metal Machine." exists?
Mississippi- Michigan- Minnesota- Michi - Carolus Rex
Reason: There is none, the only real reasoning I have is that Michi is the newest member of VShojo and that Carolus Rex was the new heir to the Swedish throne. Otherwise I got nothing else.
That's the current list folks. Now your probably asking yourself, "Wait a goddamn minute, that isn't every member of VShojo!?" And you're right. Mainly because I can not for the love of god think of a Sabaton song for Matara, Hime, Haruka, or Geega! If you got any suggestions, let me know in the comments. But that's it for me, I'm off to go be a Rhode Islander.

this is a long read because i’ve been holding all of this inside since the beginning of the year and will probably delete this. i’m a young soon-to-be mom, fresh in my 20’s, just the typical story of getting pregnant at an age that is way too early.
i was on contraceptives as soon as i started becoming active with my then partner because my ex would always change the topic whenever i would bring up using protection so as much as i didn’t want to be on hormonal pills i took it upon myself to be responsible for both of our safety, yet somehow i ended up pregnant.
i’ve had my fair share of guys i used to talk to but none of them were ever serious, he was my first everything, and i mean everything talaga. first boyfriend, first guy na i introduced to my family, first kiss, guy who took my virginity, and first person that i genuinely loved not out of loneliness or a need for connection.
we were together for 11 months, oo hindi umabot ng isang taon because he cheated. we got into an argument that day and it was really heated pero we resolved it naman, i don’t know what the fuck went into his head para mag sinungaling sakin and sabihin na aalis sila ng kaibigan niya and iinom sila pero yun pala bar na pinuntahan nila and he approached a girl na he was attracted to while i was messaging him in the middle of the night waiting until dawn for an update from him. he did all of that while i had no idea, a day passed and it was new years, he made all of these promises na sana makasama pa niya ko ng matagal and for more years together pero nagloko pala siya the night before so it was all a lie. a few days passed again and after not seeing each other for a week and finally getting to spend time together he suddenly wanted to break up with me.
ayaw na niya daw ng responsibilidad pero he wants us to be ‘bff’ premium, no label with the perks of being in a relationship, fuck buddies. of course i didn’t know any better, mahal ko yung tao eh edi pumayag ako pero we both had an agreement na we will still try to fix things. it was tormenting, constant mixed signals from him and tsaka ko nalang nalaman na kinakausap niya yung babae he met sa bar pero he never admitted na he cheated on me with the same girl. i got blindsided while i gave up my self-respect and let him use me just because i was still in love with him kasi he wanted us to still be friends, he said i was a big impact in his life and that he still wanted me beside him. i was still hoping na our relationship was going to be fixed.
i wasn’t sober the first month of this year, tangina ikaw ba naman hiwalayan wala pa man isang linggo lumilipas yung bagong taon tapos ang lapit na sana ng anniversary niyo. and because of my alcohol consumption i eventually blacked out sa bar at my friend’s birthday celebration at the end of january after drinking way too many shots and got rushed sa hospital, and as if the breakup i was dealing with wasn’t enough i found out na i was almost 2 months pregnant with my ex’s baby.
i didn’t have a choice whether i can keep the baby or not, so much for being pro-choice bc that decision was snatched away from me by my mom. of course hindi ako ready, hindi kami ready ng pamilya ko, pero ano bang magagawa namin kung hindi tanggapin nalang kung ano yung nangyare? nagkamali ako so i should own up for what i did, pero hindi lang naman ako yung magisang nagkamali dito. so after being discharged from the hospital, my mother contacted my ex to talk to him and we eventually told him na i was pregnant since the beginning of december and we just found out lang when i got hospitalized. sabi naman niya sasabihin niya kaagad sa mommy niya, since he’s from a broken family the only person he could really tell was his mom.
a few days passed and i messaged and asked him for an update, he then got mad at me and started blaming me for everything and sinusumbat niya na hindi siya ready and paano daw siya kukuha ng pang sustento para sa bata, he eventually told his mom tapos nagusap mga magulang namin. my dad asked him to not communicate or chat me muna since they knew na he is the number one reason for all of the stress i was feeling. his family’s side didn’t know whether to tell his dad or not because natatakot silang tigilan siyang pagaralin, pero my family reassured naman na it’s up to them if they’ll tell his dad and that if may support man silang mabibigay tatanggapin namin kung anong kaya nilang ibigay samin, because at the end of the day ayaw namin umabot na tumigil siyang magaral.
after my hospitalization and our family’s conversation i eventually told my friends nung naka-pasok na ulit ako sa school, they were shocked of course pero they showed their full support, my ex got word na i told my friends then he contacted me saying na wala na daw siya sa picture kapag kumalat na buntis ako, of course i took offense sa sinabe niya bc he was specifically asked not to contact me for the time being pero he still went against my parents’ wishes just to show his ‘concern’, things got heated yet again and we had another argument which resulted in him saying na hinding hindi na daw siya babalik sakin and gaslighted me na he didn’t cheat on me (he still didn’t admit it) and i was not able to go to school again because of the stress.
pinalipas ko yung araw and kinapalan ko na mukha ko na mag beg sakanya na bumalik na siya pero siya yung namimilit na ayaw na daw ng parents ko na magbalikan kami, then i started bleeding heavily and almost lost our baby. what happened wasn’t enough na mabukas utak pati mati niya, my mom had a one-on-one conversation with him where nagmamakaawa na siyang buksan niya isip niya para samin ni baby and that she had to clear the air na inaantay niya lang na balikan niya ko pero that was also not enough kaya we just stopped trying.
kada linggo may nababalitaan nalang ako na nasa bar siya, di talaga enough na i was still processing our breakup and coming to terms with my pregnancy, literal na every fucking week may nalalaman akong ayokong malaman. from different girls, to different bars, from stories galing mismo sa mga kaibigan niya, umabot pa sa point na hindi ko na nakayanan and decided to dropout from college and because of that my friend told his friends about what was happening and madami pa kong nalaman literal na di na naubos mga nalaman ko. i got tired and took matters into my own hands and informed the people he would go to bars with about my situation bc i’ve had enough of hearing abt him na nagpapakasaya habang nagdudusa ako magisa.
there was drama where my name got involved and he got mad at me because of it. then i confronted the girl he was talking to while we were trying to fix things, the girl he cheated on me with. after months of being gaslit and questioning myself if i was delusional i finally got the confirmation na i needed, na he truly did cheat on me. he lied to his friends about when we actually broke up, he lied to me about the reason he wanted to break up was because he wanted to focus on himself, he lied about everything.
i confronted him as soon as i found out he cheated, of course another useless argument between us, him saying na “masaya ka na ba dahil may nalaman ka” and like as if that wasn’t enough sinabe pa niya na nagdedecide pa daw sana siya na balikan ako kaso hindi na daw, it really pisses me off how he has the audacity na ipamukha niya sakin na sinira ko chances namin na magkaayos ulit kami when he ignored my messages during the times i still knew nothing and i was asking if we can try again, and how he literally ignored how my mom was practically begging him to fix things between us. like as if that wasn’t enough, his mom has to shoulder HIS responsibilities, from expenses ko sa pagbubuntis ko whenever i have my monthly checkups, to setting appointments for ultrasounds na hindi naman niya trabaho pero siya gumagawa all while having not a single clue about sa mga pinanggagawa niya.
nag lay low ako after that, i was beginning to be filled with rage. syempre nag greet pa si gago nung birthday ko despite ignoring all of my messages calling him out on his bullshit because he started another argument with me, na parang wala lang akong chats sakanya kaya ayos lang na i-greet niya pero di ko nalang pinansin.
i have been seeing a psychiatrist and a psychologist since my hospitalization and was diagnosed with BPD, MDD, and bipolar-ii shortly after, although i cannot go through therapy as of the moment bc i know na we can’t afford it and ayoko nang dumagdag ng dumagdag given the situation my family is in. my doctor’s appointments were rescheduled to an earlier date because of the instances na sumasakit puson ko and he eventually reached out because napansin niya na hindi namin sila binalitaan about sa check-up ko. i told him to just tell his mom to contact my mom because i was already getting tired of communicating with him.
his mom eventually messaged me and asked what was causing me so much stress, i told her na i’ll tell her the next time we see each other and we both agreed. kaso wala eh, nung susunod na check-up ko yung ex ko lang sumulpot which is the first time na sumulpot siya sa lahat ng check ups ko so far, at first i didn’t think much of it kasi gusto daw ni tita na gawin ng anak niya responsibilidad niya kaya pinapunta niya magisa, even though we both agreed to see each other that day and talk. di ko nalang dinibdib, di ko nalang pinansin, pero my ex was starting to post regularly on his socmed accounts again. and i got really triggered seeing him live his life like everything was normal. i asked my mom if i can just chat his mom nalang about everything, she agreed na its the right thing to do since di sinunod ng mommy niya pinagusapan namin and so i told her every single thing that happened and everything i found out na she had no idea about.
the next morning my good for nothing ex messaged me and blocked me on almost everything, of course dahil ang kapal ng pag mumukha niya, he thought the reason why i told his mom was because i assumed na he had a girlfriend because of his stories on insta. he then suddenly started explaining himself na ate lang daw yun ng tropa niya and what not, pati mom niya nagchat sakin na inexplain daw ng anak niya na kapatid lang daw yun ng tropa niya, which made me very confused kasi i didn’t mention anything about him having a new girl. he then suddenly started saying na we wouldn’t work out anymore because the situation we’re in was toxic, and that he wouldn’t apologize after everything because he knows na i will always bring up what happened daw …
the cycle always repeats itself, i had to go back to the hospital again for an emergency checkup because sumakit nanaman puson ko after what happened. his mom accompanied my mom and i and we had a long discussion about everything. she kept insisting na her son will eventually change, all while telling us how hard its been on her part because she doesn’t know how to tell her ex-husband because they are not on good terms nor do they speak to each other, di naman daw siya nagkukulang na pagsabihan ex ko na gawin na niya yung tama, he grew up in a broken family and she does not want him to put our baby in the same position, she keeps urging him not to do the same thing his father did to her and their family.
after all of that i contacted him, kasi at this point i have nothing to lose anymore, literal na walang wala na ko. and i decided to give him the benefit of the doubt kasi naaawa ako sa dinadala ng mommy niya. i suggested na mas maganda if we talk in person kung anong balak niya para sa future ng anak namin and he agreed naman, he said through chat na at the moment he is committed in giving our baby a good life while supporting me so i had a bit of hope and expected something out of the conversation. we met up during my CAS appointment and finally had a conversation na we should’ve had months ago pero it lead to disappointment lang. wala nanaman, walang wala nanaman, he doesn’t want to try again, he doesn’t have any desire to try again, he doesn’t want to apologize, nor does he want to hold himself accountable for the all of the trauma and pain he put me through simply because i will have trust issues if we got back together, na lagi nalang daw akong magdududa, na mahirap na daw ayusin, na maapektuhan lang anak namin if we ever argue, that he had no feelings left for me.
it didn’t matter na i told him i was willing to forgive him for everything he has done so our baby can grow knowing that both of her parents are there together. it literally did not matter na i was willing to set aside our differences and make things work out between us and change what needs to be changed. none of it matters to him, and i have never felt so much rage and anger before in my 20 years of living because of his half-assed answer and sincerity. i have lost everything, from the reputation i built up in school, to the dreams i have to let go of, the opportunity to seek out the world, the chance to meet new people. maybe it is selfish for me to want to have a family after basically losing everything i built from the ground up, maybe it is selfish of me to want him to change and break the cycle. maybe it is selfish for me to want to raise my baby with someone beside me.
walang araw na hindi ko naaalala lahat ng nangyare, walang araw na hindi ko narerelive yung moment na nalaman kong niloko ako, walang araw na hindi ako diring-diri sa sarili ko pati sa katawan ko because for some reason i feel ‘used’ and ‘dirty’. i am in so much pain that i haven’t fully processed all while carrying a baby. i’ve tried just about everything to distract myself and keep my mind off from thinking about what happened to me. hindi ko na alam kung anong gagawin ko sa sarili ko. i don’t know where to put all of this pain and anger inside of me, i don’t know kung paano ako babangon at paano ko tutulungan sarili ko dahil ginawa ko na lahat pero bakit bumibigat lang habang tumatagal?
i love my baby, i love the fact that i am about to meet someone new, someone i could pour out my love to and yet i am so afraid. i’m afraid na i’ll be a bad mom, i’m afraid of raising this child alone, the amount of guilt that i have bottled inside me is eating me up. because why? why do i have to go through all of this? why do i have to feel this immense amount of pain in the most vulnerable stage of my life as a woman? why do i have to go through hell while carrying my baby? my baby doesn’t deserve to feel the pain that i feel, my baby doesn’t deserve any of this and neither do i. i want to feel genuinely happy about this whole situation, but whenever i see posts online about pregnancy announcements, gender reveals, couples celebrating together for the life they created i can’t help but compare them to myself.
ayoko na ganto nalang nararamdaman ko, ayoko na hindi pa man nakakalabas anak ko nakakaramdam na siya ng sakit pati lungkot sa loob ng tiyan ko. this journey has been so fucking painful, how destroyed my self-confidence and self-esteem is, to feeling digusted by my own body and anything sexual, trying to deal with my mental disorders, to constantly having anxiety and ptsd, to being a lethargic mess because of pre-natal depression all while having to worry about the wellbeing of my baby and what the future holds for the both of us. it hurts seeing someone live their life like they didn’t cause irreparable trauma against someone, it pains to see how my baby’s father doesn’t seem to be excited or seem to care as much as i do. i can’t get over how unfair this situation has been, i know nothing in life is fair but what in the actual fuck kasi literal na ako lang talo dito, he can keep running, he can keep avoiding everything, he can even switch universities and start over again which is a new issue i have to worry about because to me it seems like he doesn’t want to be associated with anything that ties us together. he keeps getting away with everything and it has been frustrating to see him get his way all the fucking time habang di man niya cinoconsider wellbeing namin mag-ina
i wish moving on and letting go was easy as it sounds, i wish i could forget about everything so i can carry this child in peace, i wish i wasn’t filled with anger and resentment because i hate it, i hate wanting to see him suffer as much as i am, i hate how i’m wishing the worse for him because this is not who i am. i’ve turned into someone so evil and spiteful and the fact that i can’t fully cut him off from my life because of different factors such as our families and our child’s right to meet her father. i wish in some other universe i am able to nurture my child inside my womb without having to cry my soul out almost everyday, that i could have been put in a better situation so my baby does not have to feel sadness and pain. i am not the perfect person, nor have i made the right decisions in life, my actions have led me to where i am right now yet do i really deserve all of this? will it ever get easier, i really need to know if it’ll eventually get easier kasi pigang-piga na ko. all i could ever wish for as a woman and as a mother is to be able to provide my child with a family and an environment that she deserves to be born and grow up in, lahat nalang pinagdaanan ko pero bakit pati yun pinagkakitaan samin, i will forever be stuck asking myself why my baby and i weren’t enough.

i'm so tired of this store and honestly tue whole cluster. there's so much racism, homophobia, ageism, favoritism, and misogyny, but its done so slyly and on such a micro-aggression level that there's nothing to point out and say "this, this right here is [insert discrimination]". i've watched amazing workers get run down, burnt out, and quit because there's no corrections or training for the people on the team who don't care about or do their job- they just keep asking more and more of the people who ARE working (and its not because we have no time to train. we have plenty of time to do it, but no one will bother)
i watched the SM commit outright fraud and when i told the ASM all i got was "that wasn't fraud" (it absolutely was).
if i mention mental health at all, its such a joke. they only care about mental health if i'm talking about it while i'm okay- i am autistic and have had multiple autistic meltdowns and just regular ass breakdowns, as have other employees, and once we hit the point of "cannot continue to work" we get dismissed with such a "stop being such a problem, get out" vibe that it definitely makes you WELL aware that to upper management, mental health is an annoyance at best. if you manage to scrape yourself together after, its right back to grinding as hard as you possibly can! i literally watched them send someone home after making her cry because there was a visit and they "didn't want the leads to see that"
i recently got put in charge of the kids' section (my dream!! i love working in there!!) but they've scheduled me every weekend so that i'm basically just... cleaning everything up. if there are projects that need to be done they get pissy because.... they only scheduled me for weekends. and they want sales on weekends. which i get, but they also get upset that none of the other work is done. and no, they won't tell anyone else to do it because "i'm the only one they trust back there".
and the double standards kill me!! one manager was in charge of a midnight release and asked if employees would make and donate stuff for a raffle- we did. yes, it was off the clock, but we also did it of our own volition and there was no pressure or demand that we have it done. fine, cool. but for the kpop comeback weekend? a different manager was in charge, one that upper management has decided they dislike (even though she's a walking BN Inside and is a fantastic worker), and they told her to not even talk to anyone off the clock about it and said we can't make or do anything for it. first time i've heard thAT- these bitches love free labor. but long story short they willingly shot themselves in the foot for sales because they gave her the day of to prep and have everything done and ready- no social media posts, nothing.
and if you're wondering if its because we're struggling for sales, they don't even have that excuse. we're literally fine.
tl;dr: i fucking hate this store

Hey, I have been having issues with my family for a while now. I am 21 F and I have always had a hard time with telling people no. Some context. A couple weeks ago, I went home and everything was going fine most of the week, but on Friday, my dad was either drunk or just in a fit of rage that he decided to confront their neighbors for their dogs. My mother got attacked by one of the dogs in the neighborhood and she kind of freaks out whenever a dog gets near her now. Anyway, my mother, brother 19 M, and I went for a walk with the dogs (3 of them). The neighbors who I will call Smiths (husband will be John and wife will be Susan) have two Great Danes that are pretty well trained. One of them is very curious and really friendly, but she is also a little intimidating because of her size. My mother screamed pretty loudly when the dog got out of her yard, but my brother distracted her and we went on our way, especially since John called his dog back to their yard. Apparently my mother screamed loud enough that my dad heard from the house. I saw my dad drive his car to the neighbors and he decided to get into John’s face to threaten him about their dogs. It immediately started to get out of hand especially because John and Susan started suspected he had a weapon behind him (my brother was with me and he said he saw one too). My brother and mom wanted to keep walking, but I was panicking that something serious was going to happen so I ran to intervene. I tried to desperately get my dad to leave, but he wouldn’t listen to me and things started to get physical between him and John, especially because he called Susan a bitch. Finally my brother started to run because I think he heard John get loud so he helped me get my dad to go home. Then my mom came over and she made things so much worse. She was “calm” but decided to be confrontational about it instead of apologizing and going home. I had to drag her away because she was almost fighting Susan as well. Long story short my dad and mom were both mad and my brother and I for intervening and started causing arguments. I luckily don’t live there anymore, but my dad tried multiple times to kick my brother out.
Ok I think that is all the context, if there is anything that I missed I can try to give more. Anyway fast forward to today. My mother did her usual of asking “what are you doing today” which typically means waiting for me to say no so she can makes plans the day of to meet. I absolutely don’t like doing this and I wish that she would just ask “hey would you like to meet sometime soon” anyway when I told her that “no I am sorry, but this is too last minute for me. I don’t feel comfortable making plans the day of” she started to ask about Father’s Day. I haven’t responded to her quite yet, but I was wondering how I can just decline going? I am not really thrilled with the idea of going over especially because I haven’t really gotten over what happened. But am I being unreasonable? Like should I just go so I can try and mend things? I am kind of feel bad if I don’t go, but I also think it’s because I struggle with saying no to people. I am just so heartbroken. I have been trying to improve things and it feels like no one else is trying to meet me in the middle.

The Dark Truth About Reddit: From Faking Users To A Billion Dollar Company
How did two broke college students with a failed business end up creating one of the most popular internet forum ever? The story of Reddit is filled with scandals, lies, money and even death - as Reddit has been involved in countless controversies, including turning against its own users. But let’s dive in behind Reddit's insane history to the billion dollar company that we know of today.
In 2001, Alexis Ohanian enrolled at the University of Virginia to study computer science. His destiny changed when he met his dorm neighbor Steve Huffman, another self-taught programmer majoring in computer science.
The two bonded over video games but Alexis felt behind his peers' skills. Fearing failure, he switched to pre-law despite his passion for coding. As he prepped for the grueling law entrance exam, visions of a monotonous future as a lawyer overwhelmed him. Mid-exam, he walked out and envisioned running his own impactful tech company instead.
Luckily, Steve already had a business idea - a mobile app for ordering food ahead from gas stations or any restaurant to skip the line. Excited, they named it "My Mobile Menu" and devoted their senior year to building the startup.
However, smartphones were still primitive with no app stores. Steve struggled to connect their SMS-based system to restaurants'. Meanwhile, Alexis struggled to sell the vision to restaurants. Their innovative idea was simply too ahead of its time.
As spring break arrived, Alexis and Steve embarked on a 500-mile trip to Cambridge, Massachusetts. Their goal? Seeking help for their struggling business from entrepreneur Paul Graham, who was lecturing at Harvard on "How to Start a Startup."
Steve was a fan of Graham's books and hoped to get one autographed. But Alexis saw an even bigger opportunity. After the lecture, they approached Graham, bought him a drink, and pitched their mobile food ordering app "My Mobile Menu." Surprisingly, Graham liked the idea of eliminating waiting in line for food.
The pair exchanged contacts with Graham and returned to Virginia reinvigorated. Weeks later, Graham emailed about launching a new startup accelerator program called Y Combinator, inviting them to pitch for funding. Though confident, the investor panel couldn't envision their app working with current technology nor saw two college kids having restaurant connections.
Rejected but not dejected, Graham revealed he still believed in Alexis and Steve if they conceived a better idea. Literally getting off the train at the next stop, they brainstormed a new concept that would change everything.
Abandoning the mobile app, Graham advised building something web-based to solve "your problem every morning." By 2005, content flooded the internet from multiple sources needing better aggregation. Sites like Slashdot let users submit articles that moderators rated. Delicious bookmarked popular links.
But Alexis and Steve envisioned an open platform where anyone could share any content for users to upvote or downvote - a platform where content is rated by the people. After tossing names like Oobaloo and 360scope, they landed on "Reddit" - allowing people to simply say "I read it on Reddit."
Graduating in 2005 with a new company name and vision, the founders of Reddit were ready to disrupt how content spreads online.
Armed with $12,000 in funding from Y Combinator, Alexis and Steve moved to Massachusetts to work full-time on their new idea. They spent months operating on little sleep, barely leaving as they built Reddit day and night. However, Paul Graham soon emailed questioning why they hadn't launched yet, pushing them to release a bare-bones beta version immediately.
Unexpectedly, Graham then linked to Reddit on his blog, driving their first 1,000 visitors. Ready or not, Reddit was now live - but missing a crucial element: users.
Alexis tried everything to attract an audience - posting flyers around Boston, asking friends to contribute content, even pitching fellow Y Combinator founders. But without an existing userbase, there was little content.
Desperate for traction, Alexis and Steve resorted to creating hundreds of fake accounts to populate Reddit with posts, giving the illusion of an active community. "Reddit's no fun if the page is blank," Alexis rationalized their moves.
At first, there was no evident impact until they started noticing unfamiliar usernames joining the platform. By summer's end, Reddit had amassed over 12,000 daily users.
However, the homepage was simply a jumble of random links voted to the top with no categorization system. This sparked Alexis and Steve's first major clash - Alexis wanted tags for organization, but Steve opposed subjective labeling concerns.
Their compromise? Separate "subreddit" sections for every interest, becoming Reddit's backbone. The first was the not-safe-for-work subreddit, followed by science, programming, politics and many more niche communities united on one novel platform.
With this innovative structure, Reddit's prospects were looking very bright - especially after crossing paths with a pivotal new player, Aaron Swartz.
At just 18 years old, Aaron Swartz was a talented programmer also backed by Y Combinator for his startup Infogami, that built web development tools. However, Infogami struggled - Aaron hadn't launched yet and found himself broke, homeless and partnerless. Paul Graham saw Aaron's potential to help with developing Reddit and suggested merging companies.
Late 2005, around 6 months after Reddit's launch, Infogami merged into a new parent company Not A Bug Inc with Reddit. Steve, Alexis and Aaron each owned 24% of Reddit, with Paul at 7% and the rest reserved.
Alexis and Steve welcomed Aaron's coding skills. As users grew, Reddit added comment sections for discussions, plus a "karma" points system incentivizing quality contributions. The trio collaborated well initially.
However, underlying tensions brewed. Alexis and Steve felt it unfair Aaron publicly called himself a Reddit co-founder when he joined 6 months after their idea's inception. This founder friction intensified as Reddit caught the attention of media giant Condé Nast.
The multi-billion dollar publisher of Vogue, GQ and Vanity Fair sought to acquire the rapidly growing, user-generated Reddit to expand digitally after acquiring Wired. Though not looking to sell their 1-year-old startup yet, the 23, 22 and 19-year-old founders entertained Condé Nast's millions.
After tense negotiations, one hurdle remained - Aaron voicing concerns over a massive corporation controlling the free user-driven platform. His antics like secretly tweaking contracts caused frustration until Steve warned him not to jeopardize the deal.
Relenting, Condé Nast acquired Reddit for around $10-20 million, making the founders overnight millionaires. Though required to remain for 3 more years, they operated independently with resources to grow Reddit. What seemed like a dream quickly turned into a nightmare as the Reddit founders' story took a dark twist.
Everyone worked hard to impress Condé Nast, Reddit's new corporate owners - except Aaron. He had envisioned Reddit as a voice for the people against big governments and corporations. So being owned by a massive media company felt like a bad cultural fit.
Aaron rarely showed up to the office, even blogging about hating the "grey walls, grey desks, grey noise". Finally in January 2007, Alexis, Steve and Condé Nast leadership fired the problematic Aaron.
Without him, the team continued developing Reddit, rethinking core features.
Until 2008, only employees could create new topic subreddits despite increasing user requests. Their solution? Allowing any user to make their own subreddit.
This brilliant move spawned subreddits for every niche interest imaginable, from niche bands to financial advice to bizarre meme topics like "BreadStapleToTrees" with over 300,000 members. Users could now find or create communities for any interest.
Another clever tactic was to let the most active users moderate the subreddits they created for free.
Reddit's popularity soared to over 2 million users and 10,000+ subreddits by late 2008. Yet the company struggled to monetize this traffic.
So despite explosive growth, Reddit remained unprofitable, merely introducing paid memberships and awards. Meanwhile, tensions boiled over between Alexis and Steve - the former grieving his late mother, accusing Steve of mismanagement while Steve felt Alexis schemed behind his back. Sharing an apartment worsened their explosive office fights.
By 2009 when their Condé Nast contracts expired, the fractured co-founders both abandoned Reddit just as a new Congressional bill threatened the site's very existence.
In 2011, Congress proposed the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA), which would hold platforms like Reddit responsible for all user-generated content on their sites - even content they didn't publish themselves. For a site with millions of users freely posting, copyright owners could sue Reddit, potentially leading to massive fines, legal fees or even a shutdown.
At the time, Reddit had over 46 million users but only 20 employees, making it impossible to monitor all content for compliance. Reddit publicly declared SOPA an "all-out war against the internet" they wouldn't go down without a fight.
Many tech giants like Google and Wikipedia also lobbied against the law amid intense public backlash. On January 18, 2012, Reddit took the dramatic step of shutting down for 12 hours in protest, stating in a blog post: "We wouldn't do this if we didn't believe this legislation and the forces behind it were a serious threat to Reddit and the internet as we know it."
Days later, Congress abandoned SOPA after succumbing to public pressure. One key leader emerging from this internet freedom battle was none other than Aaron Swartz. After leaving Reddit, he had become an activist fighting internet censorship and campaigning for an open internet.
But his activism landed him in serious legal trouble in 2011 when arrested for illegally downloading millions of academic journals from MIT to make them freely accessible online. He faced up to 35 years in prison and $1 million in fines.
Aaron was offered a plea deal of just 6 months if he admitted guilty, however he rejects it to avoid being a lifelong felon. As his case lingered, the depressed Aaron became isolated, not wanting to burden others. Tragically, his girlfriend found him dead by suicide weeks before the trial.
Tributes poured in across the internet, hailing Aaron as using "his prodigious skills not to enrich himself, but to make the internet and world a fairer, better place." Though inducted into the Internet Hall of Fame for co-founding Reddit and creating RSS feeds and Creative Commons licenses, Aaron's pivotal role has largely been erased from Reddit's official history.
In March 2012, Yishan Wang from PayPal became Reddit's new CEO as the site reached billions of monthly pageviews and gained cultural relevance. Even President Barack Obama did an AMA ("Ask Me Anything") Q&A on the site's popular subreddit.
However, this immense growth caused problems. Since anyone could create subreddits, many disturbing communities proliferated from watching people die to cannibalism forums. Reddit's anonymity made it ripe for abuse by extremists, hate speech, and controversies.
One tragic example followed the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings killing 3 and injuring hundreds. A "FindBostonBombers" subreddit emerged with thousands speculating and sharing unauthorized personal information against site rules. They falsely accused missing student Sunil Tripathi based on resemblance, leading to vicious harassment of his grieving family before authorities identified the true perpetrators.
When Tripathi's body was discovered on April 23, news outlets blamed Reddit's witch-hunt. As the userbase swelled into the millions, pressure mounted on executives like Yishan to crack down on offensive subreddits. Though believing "we will not ban legal content even if odious," he eventually prohibited forums like "BeatingWomen" with graphic violence.
By 2014, conflicting views on content moderation led Yishan to resign after just two years, citing stress from the internal conflicts and negative publicity scaring investors amidst sexism claims. Ellen Pao soon replaced him as CEO to address Reddit's escalating controversies.
Ellen Pao, formerly Reddit's VP known for suing a past employer over gender discrimination, succeeded Yishan as CEO in 2014. Her hiring aimed to rehabilitate Reddit's concerning reputation.
Around this time, co-founder Alexis Ohanian also returned as executive chairman, hoping to steer Reddit clear of controversies. Shortly after, Pao implemented stricter anti-harassment policies and banned some of the most offensive subreddits.
While some lauded her efforts to clean up Reddit, many core users considered it censorship - especially after Pao stated: "We are not a completely free speech platform." Matters escalated when she fired beloved employee Victoria Taylor, who coordinated high-profile AMAs. In protest, moderators shut down hundreds of subreddits, effectively blacking out the site.
With over 160,000 petitions calling for her removal, Pao resigned after just 7 months amid Reddit's tailspin and uncertain future. The company desperately needed stable leadership after cycling through 3 CEOs in under a year.
Offering a glimmer of hope, co-founder Steve Huffman returned as CEO in 2015 alongside Ohanian's renewed involvement. The original founders' comeback reignited optimism, with design upgrades, mobile apps, and clearer direction initially.
However, in 2016 Huffman himself sparked an ethics scandal. After insulting comments on the controversial "The_Donald" subreddit, he abused admin privileges to edit them, redirecting insults towards the subreddit's moderators instead. Though calling it "trolling the trolls," many felt an admin editing user posts broke trust in Reddit's freedom and openness - severely damaging Huffman's credibility.
In April 2023, Reddit announced it would start charging to access its API - the interface allowing third-party apps and websites to pull data from Reddit. One of the most popular alternative apps was Apollo, offering a different browsing experience by freely accessing Reddit's data when the API was free.
However, Reddit's new pricing of 24 cents per 1,000 API requests meant Apollo estimated yearly costs over $20 million - forcing the beloved third-party app to shut down. Many moderator tools relying on Reddit's API to provide enhanced functionality beyond Reddit's official app were also hit with massive unexpected bills.
Many in the community felt the exorbitant pricing and lack of warning suggested Reddit deliberately aimed to kill competitor apps, not giving developers time to adapt. Outraged moderators and developers grouped together, staging a blackout where over 7,000 subreddits including major communities like AskReddit went dark simultaneously to protest the API charges.
With huge portions of Reddit inaccessible, the company lost substantial ad revenue during one of the biggest online protests ever. Many thought this backlash would force Reddit to rescind the changes. However, since the blackout stated a hard 48-hour timeline, Reddit simply waited it out despite some subreddits staying private longer until threatened with moderator bans.
Post-blackout, animosity towards Reddit's leadership like CEO Steve Huffman has intensified. However, Reddit argued the monetization move was necessary, as the company remains unprofitable while third-parties freely integrated Reddit's entire infrastructure and content without generating any income for Reddit itself.
While Reddit's position is defensible from a business perspective, most agree better foresight like improving their official app with requested features could have avoided controversy. Nonetheless, Reddit achieved its API paywall aims - but at the cost of worsening tensions with its very own community.
Despite nearly 20 years online and around 430 million monthly users as of 2023, Reddit incredibly still operates at a loss and has never turned a profit. However, Reddit's collective community has managed to accomplish some incredible feats.
Users have raised massive amounts for charities and orphanages, organized the world's largest secret Santa gift exchange, and created millions of connections through niche interest communities. Reddit is undeniably useful too - its threads frequently appear as top Google results for inquiries.
But no event demonstrated Reddit's community power quite like the 2021 GameStop stock frenzy. Amateur traders on the WallStreetBets subreddit banded together against hedge funds betting on GameStop's decline. Redditors began purchasing the struggling company's shares en masse, driving its stock price from under $3 to an astonishing $483 peak.
This monumental short squeeze caused multi-billion losses for major Wall Street firms, while making numerous Redditors overnight millionaires simply by clinging together. While Reddit itself has yet to solve profitability, one thing remains clear - the website's most powerful asset and liability is its vast unified user base.
Despite the controversies and roller coaster ride detailed in Reddit's story, the site's populist underpinnings and harnessed collective continue redefining what an online community can achieve, for better or worse. Reddit's unconventional journey is far from over.

Hello, everyone, what can you tell me about befriending a tree?
not too far off of a trail, there's this tree that I've "known" for many years but only in the past 6 months have i tried connecting with it. things I've done in that time include just sitting with it, burning sage or cedar with it, i spent the solar eclipse under it on mushrooms to really try to tap into that day, and i frequently leave it gifts whether it's something as simple as some water, or something i find along my hike, or in today's case a large shell i found in Florida. I hide the gifts around the tree.
i know about intention setting but I'm not sure my intentions are channeled enough, as in I cannot focus at all. my intentions are more general than specific, and my stream of thought is actually more of a flowing river and I just take whatever comes with each thought as they flow in and then reflect on them. my intentions are positive for myself and the tree.
like the shell i hid under a large limb close to the ground today, i was thinking about what it could mean should the tree grow enough that the shell breaks. i basically thought to the tree that it may choose what to do with it when it breaks. the gift was for the tree, not for me.
short story:
maybe 5 years ago, I had this friend group I took out to the beach to have a fire on the beach just outside of the woods. We had it near this tree, and after we ran out of gathered firewood we resorted to cutting branches off this tree. later on, a friend cut off a larger limb. i never really gave it a second thought for several years, but for a while now i feel deep remorse for it. I've reflected on it many times and have found the reality to be that I've harmed a living being. one that had no say in the situation. one that had to stand and endure abuse, one that still stands tall after it. a being that is sentient in its own way, one that i can't exactly experience as a human, but nonetheless still deserves respect, love, nurturing as it's a part of this earth and this universe.
tldr: I'd love to know more about connecting with trees and intention setting

Okay guys i’ll try my best to make a long story short and i also just want some advice or what you guys suggest would be best for my situation
first me and my ex met about two years ago. i was a sophomore in college he wasn’t in school but was working. it was long distance but we lived in the same state. basically we started dating three months after we left but i always felt like he didn’t give me the attention i needed and didn’t call me as much. i didn’t expect him to come and see me all the time but we wouldn’t see each other for months or weeks and i felt myself losing feelings also because the communication wasn’t there. i always tried to keep up with him, trying to text him often and trying to call but i always told him i wanted him to call me before we went to sleep or he did and i always had my ringer on. there would be times on a school night that he wouldn’t call me until 2am and i would be waiting up for him because i wanted to talk to him.
anyways before we broke up i was losing feelings, becoming uninterested and it was mainly because i realized i couldn’t do long distance and he wasn’t entirely communicative with me especially about things he was going through. he was hiding things i won’t get into but it really started to affect us and more me because i felt like he was shutting me out, he was just so closed off and on top of that we were so far away from each other and all we were doing most of the time was texting so it didn’t feel like we were in a relationship fr . I should also mention that i wanted to meet his parents and he wouldn’t let me because he’s muslim and he didn’t want them to bring negativity to us. I’m christian by the way. i felt like i was always having to tell him how to treat me and it just became exhausting almost always waiting on him for something. i also just started to not find him attractive anymore but i didn’t think it mattered because when we were together his personality and his morals was all that mattered to me.
Anyways a month ago i told him all of this and he thought it was me wanting to break up which wasn’t the case but that’s where we mutually ended up going to. i think deep down i felt it was for the best so i just kept moving on with my life. i did start talking to other guys about three weeks later but it was surface level and really wasn’t anything. doesn’t really matter but now a month later he wants to get back together and all of a sudden is being open with me, telling me he’s changed and he wants to make things with us work. i told him i’m wary and just want to be friends but i don’t want to lead him on i just like his company and like being around him. i don’t want a relationship but i know that’s what he wants.
how should i navigate this in the best way not to hurt him but also to tell him i don’t want anything serious and i just want to be friends. i’m scared but i know it’s for the best. what are your thoughts?

Long story short, I had a really amazing night with a guy I like from work, we definitely both had too much to drink, and ended up sleeping together.
I feel so horrible because I genuinely like him, and he told me he did too earlier in the night before it happened. If I were sober I would not have had sex with him. First of all, I was so gross, hadn't shaved in over a month, wore my ugliest underwear, was sweaty from the concert we had gone to earlier, and from what I can remember, I was so out of character with how I behaved with him in bed - like a sloppy mess. I even made him hit me? That is not at all anything that I'm into I don't know where that came from. I feel so utterly disgusted and embarrassed by myself. Like a demon came over me.
We ended up cuddling in the morning, and having sex twice more, both in which were sweeter, but I hate that he has that drunken image of me in his mind. I would've wanted it to be more special. It is now a week later and we haven't talked about it, we just see eachother around work. I totally blew it. I want to talk to him about it, but I know there is no use, and at this point I just feel sorry for having him get involved with me. I can't stop thinking about it, I wish we could have another night together to redeem myself, but that is never going to happen. I can not stand myself, I want to disappear at the thought of this.

I feel like a fool asking this.. but my heart is racing thinking about him.
Long story short, I got out of a abusive relationship a while back. I ended up meeting a guy, N.B who made me feel extremely understood, safe, comfortable, loved, etc... etc.. no guy since then has ever instilled those feelings in me, and definitely not as quick as he did. But its been months since I talked to him. He wanted to cut ties since he doesn't stay friends with people he dated. Well I recently reinstalled my discord (haven't used it in forever and since I talked to him) and found out I still have a way to contact him there. We didn't end on bad terms.. I ended it because I began to see I needed to heal but instead of telling him this (since he was taking it hard on himself for a few things) i brought up a previous thing he warned me about, at the time he worked long hours, and a lot. I had recently gotten a new job and found out our days off would rarely match up. So i ended with that.
But i miss him. I miss him so dearly. He was the safest guy, the best guy I have been with. It really does feel like he was the one sometimes. We didn't date for long but damn did things just click just right with him.
Am I stupid for wanting to reach out after all this time and see if he wants to be with me? To try again, now that Im in a better state of mind? Should I just leave him be? Idk what to do but for a while now I have been extremely missing him and hoping that one day our paths will cross again in some form.
Hell idk what to say if I even were to reach out to him. I have never felt this way, this strongly for someone.

Not a complaint post just a funny story. I was in an aram as hwei and joking back and forth with my ezreal. We were talking about the enemy gragas and after he doublekilled us i went to type "that fat fuck" unfortunately i must have typod when spelling fat because riot informed me i would be muted for the rest of the game. Extremely confused I assumed riot must be really cracking down on what is considered offensive, after a minute it occured to me though that T and G are right next to eachother on the keyboard. Long story short pay attention to what you wrote before you hit enter

I am aware that I might be a little anxious, but maybe someone would have any idea how I can deal with this feeling in situations like these.
Long story short, I was texting with my boyfriend (28), we been together two months, and I was being all nice and cute in my texts and he was just cold-ish.
Here's an example of todays text.
Me: " i wanna kiss you so much. i wanna hug all of the sadness from you ❤️"
Him: " i dont have any sadness 😂"
Me: "Ok, no kisses, no hugs, not gonna show any affection, bridge is burned 😽"
Him: "no, lets leave kisses and hugs 😁"
Me: "ok"
I wrote it like that initially cause he tend to have sad moments when its evening, was trying to be nice with him, and im not often writing like that, im also fearful avoidant.
When we started dating, he was almost obsessed with me, i was hesitant, but "played along" often, tried to be soft. Right now I just felt like he didnt appreciate at all that I was trying to be affectionate. Not the first time tho. Something like that has happened before and i feel like - maybe i should not be affectionate at all? Let him be when he wants it?
He also talked about getting me flowers when we started dating, asked my favourite ones and never gifted them to me :( worst thing is that my favourite flowers are the ones that are mostly at peak at end of the spring and its not their season later in summer. so yeah, im still a bit disappointed in that, but never mentioned that and trying not to think about it.
Should adress that I would appreciate him being as affectionated like how he was in the beginning? I honetly dont know, but I also feel like he "has got me" as his GF and is not trying hard at all. Yeah on dates he still pays for everything, he refuses to let me pay for anything, but I would appreciate him to show his love in other ways. I dont know.

Happy Saturday, or Caturday! Which ever you prefer 😊☀️
Best to make this post super short, sweet & genuine, so here it goes!
Finally got done running some errands and it’s looking like 80°+ out side! Gorgeous weather, I know… haha. But, I think I’m gonna chill for a bit, grab a cold 🧊 drink 🥃, perhaps a book, or fire up the PS5 that haven’t touched in forever! What I really wanna do is hear from, chat up, share stories, anecdotes, talk about whatever you’re in the mood for! I’m open to connect with anyone & everyone, but I do have such a soft side and attraction for the more mature type, but again, I could totally use a friend regardless! Someone to add some excitement to my days and bring this iPhone back to life already! Getting tired for only getting notifications from the news emails haha.
So you’re probably asking… shall I hit up this guy? I’ll answer for you, with zero bias & totally objective haha. YES you should! Here is one out of a million reasons: I’ll def keep us entertained and nothing but good energy! 😆 Hoping that you too got lovely vibes, a bit of charm, joy that you can bring my way! I mean, who knows, we could totally grab a drink or something one of these days?
I can already seeing shaking your head like “boy please!” Haha, & guess what, I’m totally with you… I’ve never even made a friend on here, let alone get with someone IRL? Haha. It’s wild out here! Seriously, you read this far & still haven’t got into my DM yet? Not cool! Get your know what in my dm already haha.
Hope you have a lovely weekend & cheers friend!
Your tall tanned & handsome bestie

So, I’ve always wanted to adopt. I knew it by the time I was 15 y/o or perhaps younger… The thing is, my father died when I was 6, my mother moved away when I was 7 and left me with my grandma and uncle for a couple of years -they loved me but they weren’t my parents and my father’s family always made me feel like an outsider.. they even made fun of me at times🤷‍♀️
Throughout my life I had always felt like like an orphan and struggled with rejection and feeling like I didn’t belong… Having a toxic relationship with my mom as a teenager didn’t help, and all I remember from my parents’ own relationship was toxicity and abuse both physical and emotional.
Going through all of that instability made me want to have my own stable home, a safe haven, and give a future child what I so desperately wanted back then. Just a family where I could feel safe and accepted!
Fast forward, I gave my life to Christ when I was 18 and my life started to change for the better. Long story short, Im now married, have a great relationship with my mom, my husband and I are best friends, doing well with my own business and finally feel like we’re both ready to adopt.
DILEMMA: I joined this group not too long ago because I wanted to learn more about adoption… However, I see that a LOT of adoptees say that they struggle with their adoptive parents, they feel they don’t belong and would rather be with their biological family, even if they dont know them. Some of them have mentioned that even as adults, they just dont feel like they quite fit in and one person even said they would hve rather stayed in the system 😔
Im starting to ask myself if adopting will actually make a difference into this child’s life, or if eventually they are just gonna end up hating me because Im not their biological mom 😢 and would rather just stay in the system 🤷‍♀️
I WOULD LIKE TO HEAR FROM ADOPTEES ONLY PLS 🙏🏼

Happy Saturday, or Caturday! Which ever you prefer 😊☀️
Best to make this post super short, sweet & genuine, so here it goes!
Finally got done running some errands and it’s looking like 80°+ out side! Gorgeous weather, I know… haha. But, I think I’m gonna chill for a bit, grab a cold 🧊 drink 🥃, perhaps a book, or fire up the PS5 that haven’t touched in forever! What I really wanna do is hear from, chat up, share stories, anecdotes, talk about whatever you’re in the mood for! I’m open to connect with anyone & everyone, but I do have such a soft side and attraction for the more mature type, but again, I could totally use a friend regardless! Someone to add some excitement to my days and bring this iPhone back to life already!
I’m totally awaiting your response to this, & creative enough will get my all and full undivided attention:
What do you do when life gives you lemons? 🍋
😊
Hope you have a lovely weekend & cheers friend!
Your tall tanned & handsome bestie

I posted the full story in a different sub, if anyone has a moment to go read it, but this is the short version. Location: South Carolina
My boyfriend and I rent a house with another man (“Lex”). We are all adults, I am the only female. My boyfriend is the homeowner’s son. Lex is the homeowner’s ex husband and the bio father of my boyfriend.
In my 4.5 months living here, Lex has gone from commenting about my appearance to physically touching me in a suggestive but not quite sexual manner (hand on my thigh, slaps my ass, touches my chest and crotch through my clothes). It keeps getting worse and I’m afraid he’ll go further one day.
He mostly only does this when my boyfriend is at work. But my boyfriend did find my underwear in Lex’s room, complete with Lex’s personal stains.
I’ve talked to authorities. They say that unless he actually rapes me, they won’t even start a file. (Dunno if it’s “can’t” or “won’t”)
Homeowner refuses to evict because “harassment is not in the lease” and leases can only be mutually broken.
Boyfriend and I have a lock on our room now, but Lex still tries to come in and I do still need to leave the room for the bathroom.
Can I do anything?
Edit to clarify: when I talked to the police, I did say it was assault. (I commented below somewhere about how the conversation went.) The “harassment” part comes from the homeowner who says that being harassed is not grounds to evict because it’s not in the lease.

Hello Adventurers!

I am looking for 4-5 players for a new homebrew DCC campaign.

Campaign Overview:

The players begin as a band of local commoners embarking on an opportunistic first quest for riches. Those who survive and still have the stomach to continue on a life of adventure will go on to risk their lives against strange and terrible monsters, wield dangerous and unpredictable arcane magic, perform mighty feats of arms, make pacts with dubious extra-planar entities, and more over the course of the campaign.
The campaign will begin with a level 0 funnel. At the end of the funnel each player will choose 1 surviving character of theirs to advance to level 1 and continue with as their PC. At this point the party will have a few quest hooks and the focus will be on the emergent, player-driven narrative. I'm very open minded about where the party takes the game. I plan on wrapping this campaign up at level 5.

Game Details:

• Day and Time: Sundays 2-6pm PST.
  
• Frequency: Weekly.
  
• Level Range: 0-5
  
• Races / Classes: The 7 core classes, plus the 9 classes from the Crawl! zine: Bard, Dwarf Priest, Elven Rogue, Gnome, Halfing Burglar, Halfling Champion, Paladin, Ranger, and Orc.
  
• Optional Rules: Lankhmar Fleeting Luck, Adventuring & Exploration supplemental rules.
  
• Tools: Camera and microphone are both required.
  
• Platforms: Discord for voice and video. Google docs or form fillable PDFs for character sheets (TBD). Talespire is the VTT we will be using. NOTE: I own enough seats for everyone. You will not need to purchase TaleSpire to play in this campaign. You will need to be able to install and run the software though.
  
• Character Creation: Players will pick a block of 4 level 0 commoners from a pool of 4 character blocks. These characters can be whichever race you choose. When your character advances to level 1 you can swap 2 of their stats, which will be enough to make any class / race viable. Once your character hits level 1 you can worry about filling out their back story.
  
• Character Advancement: XP based. XP will be awarded for defeating monsters, recovering non-magical treasure, and for successfully navigating high-stakes social encounters.
  
• Session 0: There will be a session 0. Everyone can get to know each other, level 0 commoners can be chosen, the party can go over tentative plans for their characters, handouts can be distributed, questions can be answered, we can make sure the tools and platforms are working well for everyone, and start the campaign all on the same page.
  

About Me:

My name is JC (34, he/him) and I'm an inexperienced GM putting together my first campaign. I've run a few DCC 1 shots and a couple of homebrew short 5e adventures (2-5 sessions). My first exposure to TTRPGs was dabbling in 3.5 when I was a kid. I started playing 5e about 2.5 years ago and began trying out other systems and GMing shortly thereafter.

GMing Style:

I enjoy the OSR and trad styles of play. My favorite thing about trad games are the potential for more complex narratives and deeper character customization. My favorite things about OSR games are that creativity is highly encouraged and rewarded, emergent storytelling, and decisions feel much more meaningful when the stakes are consistently so high.
I like for the 3 pillars of roleplay, exploration, and tactical play to all be well represented. Some sessions will have a balanced mix of all 3 elements, others will focus heavily on 1. It will all depend on the party's course of action.
I generally stick to the RAW/RAI as best I can. OSR-style creative problem solving is highly encouraged. If you pitch me an idea on how to solve a problem, I'll always hear you out, and if I don't allow it, I'll explain why. Consistency with rules and rulings is key.
I roll all attacks, damage, and saves that the PCs would be aware of in the open. I do not fudge those kinds of rolls. My monsters know what they are doing and my bandits want to make it home alive. That being said, I am always the party's #1 fan. I want the party to succeed against the odds and see their ambitions fulfilled, but sometimes thats not how the dice shake out. I do strive a reasonable amount of balance. There is also nothing wrong with trying to circumvent an encounter, or attempting a social solution. If all else fails, retreat is an option too!
Character backstory exists primarily to inform roleplay and secondarily to provide material for potential plot hooks. The events and decisions that happen at the table are the most meaningful part of the character's story.
I prepare situations for the party the react to and interact with and allow the story to emerge instead of trying to create a specific story.

What I Am Looking For:

• Players must be 18 or older.
  
• You do not need to be an expert on all of the rules, but I will expect you to have a firm grasp on what is relevant to your character.
  
• Active, engaged players. This table is not a good fit for players with the audience member playstyle.
  
• Punctual and reliable players. Everyone should consistently be ready to begin playing at the scheduled time. Cancellations should be made as far in advance as possible. I prefer the whole party be in attendance every session, but we will play as long as at least 3 players are in attendance. If you have difficulty showing up on time, or the need to frequently cancel this game is not a good fit.
  
• Team players. If you are familiar with playing to lift or have read Monte Cook's Your Best Game Ever, I highly encourage you to apply.
  
• Respectful and inclusive players.
  

How To Apply:

Fill out this Google form. I know its on the longer side, but its important to intentionally build a table were the players and campaign are all a strong fit.
If you are applying as an existing party of 4-5 players that has a different day and time that works for you, I may have the flexibility to accommodate your group.

Long story short a partner at my store is going to ethics and compliance about another partner and their behavior at our store. the partner that’s going to ethics is building a case and using several partners names from my store that have had issues with the partner they’re reporting. I am a barista and i’m interviewing for a shift position in about a week so i just want to know if anyone’s had any experiences with this and will my name being used potentially affect my promotion?

Happy Saturday, or Caturday! Which ever you prefer 😊☀️
Best to make this post super short, sweet & genuine, so here it goes!
Finally got done running some errands and it’s looking like 80°+ out side! Gorgeous weather, I know… haha. But, I think I’m gonna chill for a bit, grab a cold 🧊 drink 🥃, perhaps a book, or fire up the PS5 that haven’t touched in forever! What I really wanna do is hear from, chat up, share stories, anecdotes, talk about whatever you’re in the mood for! I’m open to connect with anyone & everyone, but I do have such a soft side and attraction for the more mature type, but again, I could totally use a friend regardless! Someone to add some excitement to my days and bring this iPhone back to life already! Getting tired for only getting notifications from the news emails haha.
So you’re probably asking… shall I hit up this guy? I’ll answer for you, with zero bias & totally objective haha. YES you should! Here is one out of a million reasons: I’ll def keep us entertained and nothing but good energy! 😆 Hoping that you too got lovely vibes, a bit of charm, joy that you can bring my way! I mean, who knows, we could totally grab a drink or something one of these days?
I can already seeing shaking your head like “boy please!” Haha, & guess what, I’m totally with you… I’ve never even made a friend on here, let alone get with someone IRL? Haha. It’s wild out here! Seriously, you read this far & still haven’t got into my DM yet? Not cool! Get your know what in my dm already haha.
Hope you have a lovely weekend & cheers friend!
Your tall tanned & handsome bestie