Qotes on relationships
Its now a thing.
2016.10.05 05:21 joeyhammer1 Its now a thing.
2008.07.10 00:26 Relationships
/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve.
2009.10.18 23:06 Amidrine Break-Ups
Ongoing support for break ups.
2024.02.07 08:37 Old-Ruin-8908 I haave a bunch of physical scars amd I dont knoew what to do:
Hello! I dont know how to start this post of but here we go. Abt 3 years ago I meet this girl she was nice and sweet and all that Jazz, I felt comfortable around here so after a while I started opening up to her, but I wish I never did, a while after we meet each othher a good seven months after our relationship started she started changing, she constantly told me how my friends were talking shit about me even though she never meet them, then she started talking my stuff and then when I asked her where she put it she said tthat she and I qote: "never took it" even though I litteraly saw her take it.
And then she told me to pay her 10 dollars for an objeckt I already payed for, she took my makeup, my perfume.
I one point I got tierd of her and started to ignore her since i am scared of conflict, and when I did she hit me across the face, one of these times another person was with me and they didn't do anything!
She also logged into my computer and emailed my freindsv (from mmy gmail) that I didnt want to be freinds with them (luckiliy we cleared up the situation)
She did so many things to me that if I wrote it all we would be here a whole week.
All these things (and more) has left me to develop suvire trust isuesss,anxiety ect.
I get proffesinal help from a Phsycolagist but its not enough, and I still have to see her every day (We go to the same collage)
And thats how I ended up here on this thread (srry for bad grammar I'm feeling kinda tierd right now)
submitted by Old-Ruin-8908 to Vent [link] [comments]
And then she told me to pay her 10 dollars for an objeckt I already payed for, she took my makeup, my perfume.
I one point I got tierd of her and started to ignore her since i am scared of conflict, and when I did she hit me across the face, one of these times another person was with me and they didn't do anything!
She also logged into my computer and emailed my freindsv (from mmy gmail) that I didnt want to be freinds with them (luckiliy we cleared up the situation)
She did so many things to me that if I wrote it all we would be here a whole week.
All these things (and more) has left me to develop suvire trust isuesss,anxiety ect.
I get proffesinal help from a Phsycolagist but its not enough, and I still have to see her every day (We go to the same collage)
And thats how I ended up here on this thread (srry for bad grammar I'm feeling kinda tierd right now)
2021.08.20 02:00 Smallest_Son Off My Chest: A Man Playing a Female Character
I'd like to get something off my chest about the perception of men playing female characters, or vice-versa, and why it can be harmful to judge someone or write them off as "just horny." I've noticed recently several posts on this subreddit about this issue, and I think for a community that prides itself on being welcoming, this sub's take on the subject is pretty bad as a whole.
(Just judging by the most upvoted comments. There are always people echoing more welcoming sentiments, but those have a tendency to be drowned out by the crowd's desire to get off on shaming or feeling superior. Just how reddit works, etc. I don't expect to change the world, but if I can change a few minds I'll be happy.)
This issue has been around for a long time--likely since the first time a man chose to play a woman in an online video game. It's certainly been around in all the MMOs I've played, and I've played quite a few. I think a lot of men probably don't know how to express themselves when it comes to this issue, and that leads to a lot of misunderstandings.
First of all, I am a man who primarily plays female characters, and an avid MMO player for the past 20ish years. I'm a big dude, 6'5", 280lbs, big bushy beard, and in a committed relationship with a woman for the past seven years. I'm only mentioning this because it's relevant.
I've had plenty of male characters in the time I've been playing MMOs, some of whom I was very attached to. But the majority of my "mains" have been female.
Why?
Multiple reasons, the least of which is because I want to have sex with my character. Of course, this is a common and perfectly valid reason, but it's not my reason, or why I made this post.
Some of the most common cited reasons people might play female characters are things like "I like the fashion," or "If I'm going to stare at an ass all day, I'd rather be attracted to it." I was guilty of that for a long time, and to a certain extent, those reasons still ring true. There's nothing wrong with those motivations, either. People like what they like.
But for me, playing a female character is about getting an experience I will never have in real life.
I'm straight, but we often hear sexuality is a spectrum. I'm comfortable enough at this point in my life to say the thought of having sexual relations with another man doesn't make me uncomfortable; I just don't want to. I'm perfectly capable of looking at a man and thinking "this guy is attractive" without feeling sexual desire, or at least not enough to ever act on it.
I've thought on occassion I might be bi, and there's always room to explore that, but to this day I've never had sexual fantasies about men despite sometimes thinking a guy is "hot". I can't ever really make it past that stage; all thoughts end there. I can hug my best friend and tell him I love him. I don't know where that puts me on the spectrum. Maybe it's normal. But I'd say it at least puts me above dudes who act like gayness is a disease they might catch.
I'm pointing this out because it's important to understand that I'm not in denial about being in the closet for my next point:
Just like women, men go through life being told we have to be a certain way. We have to be strong and masculine. Our value, the worth of us as people, is tied to how much of these qualities we possess, and most importantly, how much money we make. But in game, I can be someone different. I can step out of my societal role and be someone else entirely.
I can feel pretty. I can feel cute. I can unashamedly play dressup/barbie in a safe environment where my very masculinity is not on the line, things I've been denied my entire life. (Most boys who grew up with a sister probably have at least one memory of wanting to play with something she had but being told, or deciding, it was too "girly" and giving up. I remember my sister had this sick electric jeep she drove around the yard, but it was pink and white with unicorns on it or something so I never touched it, despite wanting to drive it so bad.)
I have no desire to cross dress or wear women's clothing in real life, but I fucking love dressing up my Mi'qote or Au'ra or whatever race I happen to be that week. I love the fashion in FFXIV because it allows me to express myself in ways I never could in reality. I generally tend to skew toward outfits that look "cool", but I'm not going to lie and say I don't enjoy throwing on the summer flame top and running around as a battle babe.
That, and I just don't like playing males most of the time.
This may not make a whole lot of sense to some, but playing male characters makes me feel uncomfortable.
Males in video games are just as hyper-sexualized and "perfect" as females, and as someone who has dealt with imposter syndrome in every aspect of their adult life, it feels a little too much like projection. I don't buy into toxic masculinity or any other macho crap to prove how much of a man I am, but for me, playing a male character is like an admission that I'm not good enough. That I actually desire to be this thing I'm playing, like a flag I'm waving around saying "here's my insecurity, I will never look like this." I don't even want to play dressup with male characters because it feels like I'm trying too hard to be something I'm not.
With female characters, it's far easier to detach from reality and my own expectations of myself and just have fun. I don't look like a Mi'qote, and nobody who knows me would ever accuse me of wanting to. Therefore I am safe. I cannot be judged for harboring a secret desire to be a catgirl because it's simply too far removed from reality. I don't expect a lot of people to resonate with this particular admission, but it's an example of one of my personal reasons for playing female characters and how the last thing on my mind is sex.
TLDR: People often have complex motivations behind their decisions, even if they themselves don't realize it or can't put it into words, and dismissing someone's reasons for playing female characters is just as harmful as dismissing their reasons for doing anything else.
TLDRTLDR: People be complicated.
Edit: I feel like some of my intention was lost in what was honestly a bit of a rambling post. It can be hard for me to remember my particular thoughts on a subject, so I wrote them down stream of consciousness style. A bunch of people have shared their thoughts and experiences, for which I'm grateful, and others have waved a hand saying I'm being overly dramatic or just ranting. I'll just say I regret that it comes off that way.
I'll leave it as I wrote it for posterity, but I'd like to at least say my true intent wasn't to point out a glaring issue I, special snowflake extraordinaire, had in my safe space. I'm not a victim, and I've never been bullied over my choices in game. I have personally seen those things happen, so I know they exist, but they've never happened to me.
I mentioned this in the comments, but my personal issues mostly stem from things that happened to me in real life as a consequence of my choices in game. Mainly, suddenly finding myself with a need to justify why I was playing a female character without ever having given it much thought. Years of introspection later, I think I've got a good grasp on my own feelings, and had the hope my thoughts might help someone else.
I know how difficult it can be to talk about things like this, and how frustrating it can be to be misunderstood. Whether that be about your hobbies, sexuality, likes, dislikes, or anything else.
If you're one of the people who doesn't understand what it's like to be misjudged by a stranger, or worse, someone you love, that's great. If you're someone who unfortunately does understand that feeling, I'm sorry you had to experience that pain.
Being misunderstood and having no real way to communicate your thoughts in a way that begets understanding is a truly frustrating experience I wouldn't wish on anyone.
submitted by Smallest_Son to ffxiv [link] [comments]
(Just judging by the most upvoted comments. There are always people echoing more welcoming sentiments, but those have a tendency to be drowned out by the crowd's desire to get off on shaming or feeling superior. Just how reddit works, etc. I don't expect to change the world, but if I can change a few minds I'll be happy.)
This issue has been around for a long time--likely since the first time a man chose to play a woman in an online video game. It's certainly been around in all the MMOs I've played, and I've played quite a few. I think a lot of men probably don't know how to express themselves when it comes to this issue, and that leads to a lot of misunderstandings.
First of all, I am a man who primarily plays female characters, and an avid MMO player for the past 20ish years. I'm a big dude, 6'5", 280lbs, big bushy beard, and in a committed relationship with a woman for the past seven years. I'm only mentioning this because it's relevant.
I've had plenty of male characters in the time I've been playing MMOs, some of whom I was very attached to. But the majority of my "mains" have been female.
Why?
Multiple reasons, the least of which is because I want to have sex with my character. Of course, this is a common and perfectly valid reason, but it's not my reason, or why I made this post.
Some of the most common cited reasons people might play female characters are things like "I like the fashion," or "If I'm going to stare at an ass all day, I'd rather be attracted to it." I was guilty of that for a long time, and to a certain extent, those reasons still ring true. There's nothing wrong with those motivations, either. People like what they like.
But for me, playing a female character is about getting an experience I will never have in real life.
I'm straight, but we often hear sexuality is a spectrum. I'm comfortable enough at this point in my life to say the thought of having sexual relations with another man doesn't make me uncomfortable; I just don't want to. I'm perfectly capable of looking at a man and thinking "this guy is attractive" without feeling sexual desire, or at least not enough to ever act on it.
I've thought on occassion I might be bi, and there's always room to explore that, but to this day I've never had sexual fantasies about men despite sometimes thinking a guy is "hot". I can't ever really make it past that stage; all thoughts end there. I can hug my best friend and tell him I love him. I don't know where that puts me on the spectrum. Maybe it's normal. But I'd say it at least puts me above dudes who act like gayness is a disease they might catch.
I'm pointing this out because it's important to understand that I'm not in denial about being in the closet for my next point:
Just like women, men go through life being told we have to be a certain way. We have to be strong and masculine. Our value, the worth of us as people, is tied to how much of these qualities we possess, and most importantly, how much money we make. But in game, I can be someone different. I can step out of my societal role and be someone else entirely.
I can feel pretty. I can feel cute. I can unashamedly play dressup/barbie in a safe environment where my very masculinity is not on the line, things I've been denied my entire life. (Most boys who grew up with a sister probably have at least one memory of wanting to play with something she had but being told, or deciding, it was too "girly" and giving up. I remember my sister had this sick electric jeep she drove around the yard, but it was pink and white with unicorns on it or something so I never touched it, despite wanting to drive it so bad.)
I have no desire to cross dress or wear women's clothing in real life, but I fucking love dressing up my Mi'qote or Au'ra or whatever race I happen to be that week. I love the fashion in FFXIV because it allows me to express myself in ways I never could in reality. I generally tend to skew toward outfits that look "cool", but I'm not going to lie and say I don't enjoy throwing on the summer flame top and running around as a battle babe.
That, and I just don't like playing males most of the time.
This may not make a whole lot of sense to some, but playing male characters makes me feel uncomfortable.
Males in video games are just as hyper-sexualized and "perfect" as females, and as someone who has dealt with imposter syndrome in every aspect of their adult life, it feels a little too much like projection. I don't buy into toxic masculinity or any other macho crap to prove how much of a man I am, but for me, playing a male character is like an admission that I'm not good enough. That I actually desire to be this thing I'm playing, like a flag I'm waving around saying "here's my insecurity, I will never look like this." I don't even want to play dressup with male characters because it feels like I'm trying too hard to be something I'm not.
With female characters, it's far easier to detach from reality and my own expectations of myself and just have fun. I don't look like a Mi'qote, and nobody who knows me would ever accuse me of wanting to. Therefore I am safe. I cannot be judged for harboring a secret desire to be a catgirl because it's simply too far removed from reality. I don't expect a lot of people to resonate with this particular admission, but it's an example of one of my personal reasons for playing female characters and how the last thing on my mind is sex.
TLDR: People often have complex motivations behind their decisions, even if they themselves don't realize it or can't put it into words, and dismissing someone's reasons for playing female characters is just as harmful as dismissing their reasons for doing anything else.
TLDRTLDR: People be complicated.
Edit: I feel like some of my intention was lost in what was honestly a bit of a rambling post. It can be hard for me to remember my particular thoughts on a subject, so I wrote them down stream of consciousness style. A bunch of people have shared their thoughts and experiences, for which I'm grateful, and others have waved a hand saying I'm being overly dramatic or just ranting. I'll just say I regret that it comes off that way.
I'll leave it as I wrote it for posterity, but I'd like to at least say my true intent wasn't to point out a glaring issue I, special snowflake extraordinaire, had in my safe space. I'm not a victim, and I've never been bullied over my choices in game. I have personally seen those things happen, so I know they exist, but they've never happened to me.
I mentioned this in the comments, but my personal issues mostly stem from things that happened to me in real life as a consequence of my choices in game. Mainly, suddenly finding myself with a need to justify why I was playing a female character without ever having given it much thought. Years of introspection later, I think I've got a good grasp on my own feelings, and had the hope my thoughts might help someone else.
I know how difficult it can be to talk about things like this, and how frustrating it can be to be misunderstood. Whether that be about your hobbies, sexuality, likes, dislikes, or anything else.
If you're one of the people who doesn't understand what it's like to be misjudged by a stranger, or worse, someone you love, that's great. If you're someone who unfortunately does understand that feeling, I'm sorry you had to experience that pain.
Being misunderstood and having no real way to communicate your thoughts in a way that begets understanding is a truly frustrating experience I wouldn't wish on anyone.
2018.03.23 15:14 Agramar I been wearing a mask for too long.
today I reached a new low. I been tying to have this fresh restarts but I always return to the same hell of usual. he self loathing mode that hits me to the limit.
I reached a point I can´t get close to people anymore, I long forgot what is to be in love, feel loved. I have awful experiences, my last girlfriend was 3 years ago. It was an absive and awful relationship where I was a slave ( I allowed it) and demeaned myself so I culdnt be lonely. After that thing ended I no longer could hold up to it anymore
I dont know if its fear of reetion or simply fear. I had a few affairs here in there but nothing that lead to anything. Because of those issues I ended up building this mask, this intrincate and ery interesting mask where I am much etter than I truly am. The mask I wear to "feel confident" when I ned to achieve my goals.
And when people are atracted to it, they think that is is me. they stick to me until the mask fall of s and realise how awful I am. How self loathing, lack of confidence and pathetic ball of nerves and depression I am.
Today I saw someone, things lead to a way but even if I knew somethig cold happen I told myself "dont get involved,y ou know what happens"
and what it happens is that "you are not what I expected" I qote "you changed" I qote, from different people, love interests and friends.
I didnt change.. I was always like this it´s ust you never saw me to begin with. I dont now if I a telling myself "dont get involved, you are going to hurt her. You are going to move and yo wont have time to see her blah bla" as a mechanism to deny myself? or I truly mean it.
I keep thingking "live with no regrets! you only live once" but I cant. My head I have guilt. I can no longer go on like this. what I like is weird, or dumb for the people I know and I cant express mytaste wthout feeling embarassed. Ashamed for what I like and I enjoy Its been like this for ages, bt lately it got worse.
the thing that bothers me is that I am conscious. I am 100% aware of this. bt at the sam time I dont recognize what is me anymore. If I am myself, or I am the mask the facade or the play I put in front of others so I can be accepted.
If you read it thank yo, I dont care if no one comments. I just needed .. to vent.
who am I?'??
submitted by Agramar to depression [link] [comments]
I reached a point I can´t get close to people anymore, I long forgot what is to be in love, feel loved. I have awful experiences, my last girlfriend was 3 years ago. It was an absive and awful relationship where I was a slave ( I allowed it) and demeaned myself so I culdnt be lonely. After that thing ended I no longer could hold up to it anymore
I dont know if its fear of reetion or simply fear. I had a few affairs here in there but nothing that lead to anything. Because of those issues I ended up building this mask, this intrincate and ery interesting mask where I am much etter than I truly am. The mask I wear to "feel confident" when I ned to achieve my goals.
And when people are atracted to it, they think that is is me. they stick to me until the mask fall of s and realise how awful I am. How self loathing, lack of confidence and pathetic ball of nerves and depression I am.
Today I saw someone, things lead to a way but even if I knew somethig cold happen I told myself "dont get involved,y ou know what happens"
and what it happens is that "you are not what I expected" I qote "you changed" I qote, from different people, love interests and friends.
I didnt change.. I was always like this it´s ust you never saw me to begin with. I dont now if I a telling myself "dont get involved, you are going to hurt her. You are going to move and yo wont have time to see her blah bla" as a mechanism to deny myself? or I truly mean it.
I keep thingking "live with no regrets! you only live once" but I cant. My head I have guilt. I can no longer go on like this. what I like is weird, or dumb for the people I know and I cant express mytaste wthout feeling embarassed. Ashamed for what I like and I enjoy Its been like this for ages, bt lately it got worse.
the thing that bothers me is that I am conscious. I am 100% aware of this. bt at the sam time I dont recognize what is me anymore. If I am myself, or I am the mask the facade or the play I put in front of others so I can be accepted.
If you read it thank yo, I dont care if no one comments. I just needed .. to vent.
who am I?'??
2017.10.03 01:56 Ezaela Chikako's scar and possible involvement of ex husband
https://imgur.com/a/3pwFW Could be spoiler!
Ok so in episode 10 where Chikako goes to the beach with Taichi there is a close up shot of Chikako's stomach where it shows a scar, and if you look closely some more scars on her upper stomach but which seem to have faded a bit already. These scars to me look suspicious and look to me like they are inflicted (but I'm not an expert so don't qote me on this.) This got me thinking, she kept saying that her ex-husband didn't turn out the way she thought he would be, she kept having this feeling of "guilt' and he was so clingy all the time making her feel guilty by using the dog and to so have an excuse for her to visit him. His whole vibe seemed a bit creepy to me, like him saying "I still keep your rings, I love you forever" after it's been a year all of the sudden he says that.. why? Obviously because she's moving on and in Terrace House, living a life for herself. Maybe it's just a speculation and I could be completely wrong but I think it could be that Chikako was in an abusive relationship with her ex-husband. Like seriously I feel like she had some emotional damage, the way she kept talking about "Taishi doesn't know about what happened in my previous relationship" and how she felt guilty for moving on and.... well the scars. What do you guys think?
submitted by Ezaela to terracehouse [link] [comments]
Ok so in episode 10 where Chikako goes to the beach with Taichi there is a close up shot of Chikako's stomach where it shows a scar, and if you look closely some more scars on her upper stomach but which seem to have faded a bit already. These scars to me look suspicious and look to me like they are inflicted (but I'm not an expert so don't qote me on this.) This got me thinking, she kept saying that her ex-husband didn't turn out the way she thought he would be, she kept having this feeling of "guilt' and he was so clingy all the time making her feel guilty by using the dog and to so have an excuse for her to visit him. His whole vibe seemed a bit creepy to me, like him saying "I still keep your rings, I love you forever" after it's been a year all of the sudden he says that.. why? Obviously because she's moving on and in Terrace House, living a life for herself. Maybe it's just a speculation and I could be completely wrong but I think it could be that Chikako was in an abusive relationship with her ex-husband. Like seriously I feel like she had some emotional damage, the way she kept talking about "Taishi doesn't know about what happened in my previous relationship" and how she felt guilty for moving on and.... well the scars. What do you guys think?