I’m not gonna cry about not playing the game better. He almost cut me off from the pieces I needed to work with; I’ll never let him do that again.
I’m taking my career into my own freakin' hands. 😄
—-
And you - even if you’re not a slice of the life-pie now…
the next few blocks will have trace elements of me-prioritizing-you, because the best me was the one who lay the groundwork for Us regardless of what you did, including push him away in fear or anger.
(It’s okay, by the way. I understand; you needed me to at the time and I didn’t. You haven’t ruined it, nothing is broken. Even back then he suspected what I now know, what you might’ve been feeling, and I can ask you someday.)
But - I go at my speed, and this train is already gone. You can catch the next one, but The Plan is coming into sight.
I’m gonna save the freakin’ world. It only sounds lofty because others can’t see the plan yet.
It actually makes perfect sense, with the technology we have. The art and science of displaying convincing information on screens. (You get it, right? Consider the effect Nicky Case had on you.)
Art and Science. But better yet, technology, tools, means. All we want is the ability to organize effectively.
I’ll do that - starting with our people, our values. I’ll leverage a private-corp to give people stuff to do in a post-scarcity-working world; our folks will be looked after. They won’t have to be sad, or feel inadequate; feel useless, because of this world’s goddamn assbackwards priorities telling them they’re worthless.
I’ll build it. TS, NF, I’ll capture the corps’ deflevels themselves. Answer the open questions people have at the highest levels, bridge the gap of responsible resource allocation.
Find the people who see the forest not the trees; figure out HOW, not WHY NOT.
I’ll show everyone. And whichever side of the fence you’re on - to me, doesn’t even matter anymore. I have my plan.
:eyes watering, but not crying. Shining:
Today, I’m Him. And I’ll stay like this for as long as I can; but someday, it won’t take me remembering this train of thought for me to focus. It’ll simply be the entirety of "me".
And maybe then, someday, I can convince you too; ask you to hop the fence from Doubt into Belief; or maybe then, you’ll have been right, and I’ll find a person and you’ll do (whatever makes you happy, I won’t prescribe companionship if it’s not what you want. /o).
But I won’t ask you believe in me, wait for me. In order to grow into my best self, be my best self… i need conversations like the one I had just this morning.
Sure, I can only do a little now. But even with the little I can do now… I can do anything.
It’s like Zee’ll say, someday.

Just because I have no powers, doesn’t mean I’m powerless.

:)
Besides, I have more than a few. And skills and a story to build yet, a move to plan, and a corporate game to play, and a New Life to live. :cracks knuckles:
(Sure, I’m spending another life on the same level; but I hacked the game. The backgrounds and powerups’ll be different. I’ll break the ceiling yet. 😁)
Take care, Bee. I’ll send you what I sent my team: 🫶
Those of them I’m still working with. 😁

Keyword: deter, not kill (although i don't mind that too).
The house is in South East Asia were roaches are as common as rice. And to make matters worse. It's a bungalow type of house - impossible to seal/block every entry. And to make it even worse, i want them away from even the patio.
The place is laboratory clean, problem is stray roaches - they just come wandering in.
I'm looking for something very powerful to deter them - like a pack of rottweilers, flood lights and a group of people sitting outside the house would deter a robber. Like a group of police officers by a drunk person's parked car would deter them from driving it. Like an ocean full of killer whales would deter a seal from getting in the water... you get the idea. I want the the approaching roaches to halt on their tracks, say NOPE! Do an about face, and go elsewhere. I don't care what it is. It could be uranium, i'll get it!
Thoughts?

The online casino industry has experienced an explosion in popularity in recent years and, in part, that's down to the legalisation of iGaming in a selection of US states that has allowed the industry to spread around the world. Of course, online casinos have come a long way since the early days. Now, there are more casino games than ever and, along with the increase in these, there are more and more payment methods. This means that crypto gambling is now with us, and this has brought a whole new audience to iGaming. With so many sites to choose from, how do you find the best bitcoin casino? How do you know what goes into making the best crypto casino? Should you be paying attention to new bitcoin casino sites? As you read on, that's what we're going to be exploring.
An Overview Of The Best Bitcoin and Crypto Casinos
If you're someone who likes to jump right in, and take a snapshot, to follow you'll find our summary of the crypto casino market and discover the ones that we think are the best. If you're someone who seeks more detail, we have you covered too, but you'll need to read on. So, here's a look at the best bitcoin casinos, as well as those accepting other top cryptocurrencies:

• Heybets - The best for VIP perks and regular promotions.
• Metaspins - Attractive first deposit bonus.
• Inmerion Casino - Huge range of classic casino games.
• B.C Game - Bitcoin gambling for all budgets.
• Stake - Impressive all-rounder.
• Wild.i.o - Best bitcoin casino for ongoing promotions.
• Jackbit - Great selection of bitcoin table games, as well as online slots.

As you read on, we'll be exploring the best bitcoin casinos in more detail. We'll be delving into the range of bitcoin casino games, and how these compare to traditional online casinos. We'll also be looking at the cryptocurrencies that are accepted, as well as everything else you need to know about banking methods. If that's not enough, we'll be going into detail about the bitcoin casino sites and the bonuses on offer ( we know you'll be looking for free spins, an attractive match bonus, as well as VIP programs), as well as exploring the customer service on offer.

The Heybets Crypto Casino Site

There's no denying that Heybets is one of the top bitcoin casinos around. As well as offering a great online casino experience, there is also an attractive sportsbook where you can enjoy sports betting on the top action. This means that you can play games, and win in the best sporting events, all in the same place.
Let's have a closer look at what makes this one of the best bitcoin gambling sites:
Heybets and Crypto Casino Games
While there's plenty to consider when looking for the best bitcoin casino, there's no escaping the fact that the range of casino games matters. There needs to be plenty to keep players entertained, there need to be provably fair games, and sports betting is an added bonus. Here's what Heybets has to offer:
Slot Games
With traditional online casinos, slot games are the staple of what's on offer. These are the most popular casino games out there, and so you'd expect the best bitcoin casino sites to perform well here. The good news is that Heybets certainly delivers here. There are classic slots, jackpot slots, and those with stunning bonus rounds. Just a few of the titles include:

• Wanted Dead or a Wild
• Sugar Rush
• Hot to Burn
• Fruit Party

While the number of slots matters, for a site to be the best bitcoin casino, the quality matters too. Fortunately, the games here only come from the best providers, such as:

• NetEnt
• Hacksaw Gaming
• Red Tiger
• Quickspin

This just goes to show that you can rely on online crypto casinos if you're one of the many slot fans out there.
Table and Card Games
Something else that makes Heybets one of the best cryptocurrency casinos is the fact that it also caters well for fans of other games. Here, you'll find a selection of classics, such as:

• Blackjack - There's a range of blackjack variants at this btc casino such as American, Multihand, and Lightning.
• Roulette - You'll also find a range of roulette casino games to enjoy. You'll be able to play European and American roulette, as well as variants such as Lightning and Double Ball.
• Poker - While you won't find live online poker rooms here, there are 3 variations of video poker to enjoy.

Live Casino Games
Heybets also has a great range of live dealer games. You can enjoy live versions of blackjack, roulette, and baccarat. Thanks to the fact that the live casino is powered by Evolution Gaming, you can also make the most of live game shows, such as Dream Catcher and Monopoly Big Baller.
Banking and Crypto Transactions
As with all gambling websites, the payment methods on offer are important when it comes to choosing an online casino to play at. The top bitcoin casino sites allow players to use a range of cryptocurrencies, as well as supporting other methods that you'd find at fiat casinos. Ay Heybets, you can use the following to fund your account and play casino games:

• Bitcoin
• Litecoin
• Ethereum

While there's plenty of choice here, what would make this stronger would be the inclusion of the likes of Dogecoin and Tether.
When considering more traditional methods of depositing and withdrawing, Heybets also allows you to use bank wire. There are no fees when using this option for fiat currencies, but users of crypto will need to be aware of the relevant GAS fees.
Heybets and Bonuses and promotions
As you'd expect from a site that could well be considered the best bitcoin casino, there are a host of bonuses and promotions here. Let's get the bad news out of the way with first: this crypto casino does not offer a welcome bonus. With that out of the way, let's take a look at the bonuses and promotions on offer for existing players. While these change on a regular basis, these are the ones that are a constant:
Raise Your Arm Zeus
This bonus comes into play when you're playing the online slot, Gates of Olympus. You'll activate the bonus at this bitcoin casino if you manage to win 20x - 100x from the free spins feature. If you're in luck, this leads to this crypto casino boosting your winnings by 100%.
Extra Juice
The lack of a welcome bonus doesn't seem to sting quite so much when you look at the likes of Extra Juice. This bonus kicks in on a selection of new casino games. It can lead to winnings being boosted by 7%.
Sports Betting
While our focus is on online casinos, it's worth noting that Heybets also offers a range of ongoing bonuses and promotions for customers of its sportsbook.
Loyalty Program
If you're looking for the bitcoin casino with the best loyalty rewards then Heybets is it. The VIP program here has 5 tiers, and each comes with its own rewards. To enter at the bronze level, you need to have wagered at least $2,500. With this, you can enjoy 5% cashback on all bets. Reach diamond and you'll benefit from 10% cashback as well as exclusive bonuses and rewards. This certainly makes this site stand out from other bitcoin casinos.
Heybets Customer Service
With online gambling, it's a must that a site offers great customer support. At Heybets, you can be sure that you're covered here. Just like all relatively new bitcoin casino sites, there's a need for Heybets to go above and beyond to inspire confidence. It certainly does that with almost instant responses on its live chat which is staffed by knowledgable and polite agents. The only downside is that this isn't available 24/7.
Mobile Experience
While this bitcoin online casino doesn't have a dedicated app, players can still play games via their mobile browsers. The casino games here are compatible with mobile devices thanks to HTML5 technology and the work of the developers behind them.
Summing up the Heybets Online Crypto Casino
Let's sum up the pros and cons, and see what makes this online casino one that's worthy of your attention:
Pros:

• Great range of online slots and table games
• Impressive selection of live casino games
• Generous ongoing promotions
• Opportunity to explore sports betting

Cons:

• Lack of welcome bonus/deposit bonuses
• No mobile app
• Customer support not 24/7

The Metaspins Bitcoin Casino

When looking at the best bitcoin casinos, Metaspins is another online gambling site that can't be ignored. If you're the kind of player seeking an attractive deposit bonus, then you'll be more than happy with what's on offer here. As we get into the detail, you'll soon see why Metaspins deserves a place on our list of the best bitcoin casinos.
Metaspins and Bitcoin Games
Something that is clear when looking at the best BTC casinos is that there is no shortage when it comes to the range of games that there are to choose from. What puts Metaspins in the running for the best bitcoin casino site is the fact that there are more than 2,500 games to explore. Given that this site was only launched in 2022, it can still be considered to be one of the new bitcoin casino sites, so there's a good chance that the range of games will only grow. Let's take a closer look at what's on offer now:
Slot Games
What makes Metaspins one of the best crypto casinos is the range of slots that can be played. These are provably fair games, and they come from some of the best providers in the business. In fact, what makes the range of slots so exciting here is the sheer number of providers that Metaspins works with. There are more than 30 of these, including the likes of:

• Relax Gaming
• Wazdan
• Yggdrasil
• Quickspin

You can expect to come across some of the most popular slot titles, such as Gonzo'a Quest, Starburst, and Dark King: Forbidden Riches. For fans of jackpot slots, there's a great range of these too, including Jackpot Quest and Rainbow Jackpots Power Lines.
Table and Card Games
As you'd expect from a site in the ranks of the best bitcoin casino, there's more to this BTC casino than slots. There's also a great range of table and card games, meaning that Metaspins is an attractive destination for fans of all casino games. The games that you'll find cover all the classics such as:

• Blackjack
• Roulette
• Baccarat
• Video poker

Live Casino Games
Like many of the best crypto casinos, Metaspins also has an impressive range of live games. These come from top developers such as Swintt and Evolution Gaming. When gambling online here, there are traditional titles to choose from, including live poker games, as well as game show experiences. such as Crazy Time and Boom City.
Banking and Crypto Transactions
This crypto casino accepts a range of cryptocurrencies. This is good news for players as it means that can find the crypto that suits them. The other great thing at this crypto casino is that, if you don't happen to have any crypto of your own, you can use VISA or MasterCard to purchase some. The cryptos available include:

• Bitcoin
• Bitcoin Cash
• Ethereum
• Tron
• Ripple
• Dogecoin
• Litecoin

As bitcoin online casinos go, this is an impressive showing and will be a major draw for new players.
Metaspins Bonuses and Promotions
A major part of online casinos is the welcome bonus money that's up for grabs. Alongside this, players also like to see reload bonuses, cashback, free spins and even no deposit bonuses (although these are a little on the rare side). With that in mind, let's take a look at what this bitcoin casino has to offer:
Metaspins Welcome Bonus
The welcome bonus offered here is certainly attractive, and is bound to catch the eye of many players. As one of the best bitcoin casino sites, Metaspins offers a 100% match bonus up to a maximum of 1 btc. That means that if you were to deposit 0.5 btc, you'd then be rewarded with another 0.5, meaning that you had 1 btc to play with. The only watch out here is the wagering requirements. They come in at 40x, and they need to be met within 7 days. This could prove a little tricky if you were to take advantage of the maximum bonus money offered.
Deposit and Get
As deposit bonuses go, this one we think is extremely impressive. It really is as simple as it sounds: you continue to make deposits, and you can be certain that you'll get rewards. You just need to keep an eye on your rewards panel. When you see a notification, give it a click and see what you've been given. Some of the rewards on offer are:

• Reload bonuses to use on your favourite casino games.
• Free spins that can be enjoyed on the best slot games.
• MetaLotto tickets that can lead to substantial prizes.

These ongoing rewards mean that there are plenty of reasons for players to stay loyal to, what we believe, is one of the best bitcoin casinos.
Sports Betting
Just like many of the other best bitcoin casinos, Metaspins also has an impressive sports betting section. There are separate bonuses to be enjoyed here.
Metaspins Customer Service
To be seen as one of the best crypto casino sites, there's a need for online gambling platforms to offer outstanding customer service. Bitcoin casinos are still relatively new, and knowing that the company is there when you need it matters even more than it does at traditional sites. Metaspins delivers here, with 24/7 live chat, as well as a detailed FAQ section. The fact that customer support is always there means that this truly is one of the top bitcoin casinos.
Mobile Experience
This btc casino doesn't have a dedicated app as yet, but that doesn't mean the games can't be enjoyed on the go. Simply by using your mobile browser, you can access Metaspins from any mobile device and enjoy the full crypto casino experience, no matter where you are.
Summing Up the Metaspins Crypto Casino
As before, now's the time to round up the pros and cons of this crypto casino site, so that you can decide if this is one that you want to play at:
Pros:

• Attractive welcome bonus
• Huge range of provably fair games.
• 24/7 customer support
• Reload bonuses that include free spins
• Selection of cryptos accepted.

Cons:

• Wagering requirements must be met within 7 days
• No mobile app (however the browser experience is outstanding).

The Immerion Bitcoin Casino Site

If you're looking for crypto casino sites that feature all of the classics that you're already a fan of, then Immerion could well be the crypto casino for you. As you read on, we'll be looking at just what's on offer here. As well as considering the crypto casino games, we'll also be looking at everything else that you need to know Let's get started.
Inmerion Crypto Casino Games
With online gambling, players like to see a wide range of games. It's fair to say that when compared to other bitcoin casinos and fiat casinos, Inmerion has an impressive showing. There are more than 5,000 bitcoin casino games to be played, and we're going to explore these in more detail now:
Slots
You may think that Inmerion is the best crypto casino based on the number of slots alone. There are more than 3,000 of these to choose from, meaning that even the most ardent slot fans have plenty to keep them entertained. What we like here is that the number of slots isn't overwhelming thanks to the filters that can be used. You can set filters to search by provider, RTP, max win, and volatility.
Among this vast number of slots, you're going to come across new titles, as well as many classics, such as:

• Big Bass Bonanza
• Sugar Rush
• Gate of Olympus

Table and Card Games
For gambling sites to be among the best, there needs to be more on offer than slots. Inmerion does well here with a range of other games:

• Blackjack - There are more than 70 blackjack titles to choose from here.
• Roulette - With European and American versions to choose from, there are also another 146 titles to explore.
• Poker - There are live poker rooms as well as video poker here, with a total of 35 titles to choose from.
• Other Games - By exploring the tabs, you'll also find bitcoin casino games such as craps and bingo.

Live Dealer Games
Many crypto casinos give some attention to live dealer games, but here you'll find that there are more than 300 to choose from. There are all of the classic games, as well as the game show titles that Evolution Gaming excels at.
Banking Options
As you'd expect from one of the top bitcoin casinos, Inmerion has a range of cryptos that you can play with. You can make deposits and withdrawals using:

• Bitcoin
• Bitcoin Cash
• Ethereum
• Litecoin
• Tron
• Dogecoin
• USD Coin
• BNB Coin

Something else that we like here is that there's no minimum deposit so this is an online gambling site for players of all budgets.
Inmerion's Bitcoin Casino Bonus
Whether it's a healthy welcome bonus, a loyalty program, or reloads that appeal, btc casinos need to have something special on offer to be classed as the best. Let's take a look at what Inmerion has to offer:
Welcome Bonus
As it stands, there is no Immerion welcome bonus on offer. This may be a letdown for some players who can't benefit from their first deposit. However, there are other casino bonuses to enjoy.
Engine of Fortune
This is a daily bonus that allows you to spin the wheel of fortune. You need to have deposited at least $50 in the last 24 hours and then you can spin. The prizes on offer include free spins, cash, and a more than impressive top prize of 5 btc.
Daily Cashback
No matter who plays at this online crypto casino, they can all benefit from the ongoing cashback offer. Each and every day you benefit from receiving 20% of your losses from the previous day. This is something that really appeals and certainly puts Inmerion in the running for the best bitcoin casino.
Sports Betting
This is another of the best crypto casinos that has an attractive sports book, along with some great bonuses.
Inmerion Customer Service
Reputable casinos need to be there for their customers. There need to be ways that customers can reach out and have their queries resolved in a timely manner. Here, you'll find that live chat is on hand 24/7 to deal with any issues. What we also liked was the fact that there is separate support for those wanting assistance with deposits and withdrawals.
Mobile Experience
Just like the other other crypto casinos that we've looked at so far, there is no mobile app here. However, you can still enjoy Inmerion online gambling via your smartphones and tablets via your mobile browser. Nothing is lost when compared to the desktop experience, and it allows you to enjoy all that Inmerion has to offer with added convenience.
Summing up the Inmerion Crypto Casino
That brings us towards the end of our look at this bitcoin gambling site. Before we move on to the next, let's sum up the pros and cons:
Pros:

• Massive range of games.
• Ongoing promotions, including free spins.
• Range of cryptocurrencies accepted, with the chance to withdraw your gambling winnings with ease.
• Impressive sports betting section.
• Exceptional live dealer section.

Cons:

• No welcome bonus so no way to benefit from the first deposit.
• Lack of a mobile app

The BC Game Online Casino

As we continue to explore the best bitcoin gambling sites, next up is BC Game. This is a site that was established back in 2017, and there is no doubt that this is one of the most reputable btc casinos that there is. Let's take a look at what's on offer, and what makes this one of the best crypto casinos that there is.
BC Game Library
This crypto gambling platform is nothing short of mind-blowing when it comes to the number of games to choose from. At BC Game, you'll find that there are more than 9,000 to explore and that makes this crypto gambling site really stand out. What else is impressive here is that the games cater for high rollers as well as those with a more conservative budget. Let's take a look at just what there is here:
Slot Games
Like other bitcoin casinos that we've looked at so far, there are plenty of slots to enjoy here. Alongside titles that you'll find at other crypto casinos, BC Game also has a host of exclusive games that you won't find anywhere else. The remainder of the library is made up of titles from providers such as Play 'n Go, Microgaming, NetEnt, and Quickspin. Just some of the slots you'll find here include:

• Book of Shadows
• Starburst XXXtreme
• Aztec Pyramid

What we like here is that you can spin with bets as low as $0.01 so these games are accessible to all.
If you're a fan of jackpot slots, you'll find that there are more than 150 progressives here, with the chance to win life-changing amounts.
Table and Card Games
With so many games overall, it's probably unsurprising that there's also a great selection of table and card games too. Here, you can play classics such as:

• Blackjack
• Roulette
• Craps
• Baccarat
• Scratchcards

Live Dealer Games
BC Game also has live dealer games like the other btc casinos that we've looked at so far. These come from the best in the business, namely Evolution Gaming and Pragmatic Play. In truth, the selection here isn't as wide as it is at other crypto casinos, but there is still plenty to keep you entertained.
Banking Options at BC Game
Just like other crypto casinos that make our list of the best, BC Game has plenty of options to choose from. While there are no alternatives away from crypto, the number of these that you can play and withdraw your winnings with is impressive. Some of those that you can use include:

• Bitcoin
• Ethereum
• Dogecoin
• Ripple
• Cardano
• Tron
• Polkadot
• Solana

BC Game Bonuses
This bitcoin casino also comes with some attractive bonuses and promotions that are sure to appeal to players everywhere. Here's a look at what's up for grabs
Welcome Bonus
The welcome bonus here is a little different compared to that at other crypto casinos. That's because it's spread over your first 4 deposits. Here's how it's broken down:

• First deposit- 180% match bonus up to 20,000 BCD
• Second deposit - 240% up to 40,000 BCD
• Third deposit - 300% up to 60,000 BCD
• Fourth Deposit - 360% up to 100,000 BCD

The wagering requirements are 40x. While this may be common it does make it a little difficult to take full advantage of what's offered.
No Deposit Bonuses
Right now, BC Game is also offering a no deposit bonus for new players who sign up. Simply by joining, you can claim $5 worth of free spins that can be used on the Lucky Wheel. Prizes can be up to $500 or come in a variety of cryptocurrencies.
Loyalty Rewards
Players in the VIP program can enjoy higher payouts, free spins, and a host of other rewards. Once a player reaches level 22, you're also given the chance to play with the Super Spin. This is a version of the Lucky Wheel that comes with even more rewards, with the chance to pocket 3 btc.
Sports Betting
Like the other bitcoin casinos that we've looked at so far, BC Game also has a sportsbook that comes with its own bonuses and rewards.
BC Game Customer Service
We're impressed with this crypto casino and the levels of support that are on offer. Firstly, there's the 24/7 live chat function. This is staffed by knowledgeable agents who provide speedy responses. As well as this, there is also the option to reach out via email. This takes longer to receive a reply, but when it does come it is detailed and resolves most issues.
Mobile Experience
If you're wanting to play on the go, BC Game has an impressive mobile app. This can be downloaded on both iOS and Android devices and provides a truly outstanding experience. If you'd rather not download, you can also play via your mobile browser.
Summing up the BC Game Crypto Casino
If you're still trying to decide if this casino is for you, here's an overview of the pros and cons:
Pros:

• More than 9,000 games to choose from
• Accessible to players regardless of budget
• Impressive mobile app
• Generous welcome bonus

Cons:

• Wagering requirements could be lower
• The selection of live casino games is a little limited.

Stake Online Casino Site

If you have ever explored crypto casinos, there's a very good chance that you have come across the name, Stake. Why? Well, it's widely regarded as one of the best out there. As you keep reading, we're going to delve into the details and show you why.
Stake Game Selection
While Stake may not have as many games as we've seen at BC Game, there are still more than 2,000 to choose from. In truth, this is plenty to keep players entertained, and the good news is that each and every title is truly exceptional. Let's take a look:
Online Slots
Slots are a major draw for players, and Stake certainly delivers in this area. You'll find a wide range of titles, with those that are instantly recognisable such as:

• Sweet Bonanza
• Sugar Rush 1000
• Blue Samurai

Alongside top providers, such as NetEnt, Push Gaming, and Wazdan, there are also Stake original slots. If you give these a try, we're sure that you'll be impressed.
Table and Card Games
Just like the other best bitcoin casino sites, at Stake, you'll discover a great selection of classic casino games. Whether you're a fan of blackjack, excited by the spin of the wheel, or looking to take a chance with baccarat, Stake has you covered. The only game lacking here is poker. If your casino experience is based on video poker, you may need to play elsewhere.
Live Casino Games
You're sure to be impressed with what's on offer in terms of live dealer games. The lobby is bursting with titles coming from Evolution and Pragmatic Play. There are also titles from Bombay Live Games. This means that Stake has everything covered, and offers a live experience that's second to none.
Banking Options
As you'd expect from an operator that makes our list of the best bitcoin casinos, there are plenty of payment options to choose from. While this is a 100% crypto site, the good news is that you're not just limited to one or two of these. Just some of the ones you can use include:

• LiteCoin
• Bitcoin
• Ethereum
• Dogecoin
• Bitcoin Cash

In total, Stake accepts 20 cryptocurrencies, so there's sure to be one that you're comfortable using.
Bonuses at Stake Casino
Before we explore the bonuses and promotions that Stake has to offer, let's first look at what's not up for grabs. At Stake, there is no welcome bonus on offer right now. There's no first deposit bonus or free spins. Why? Well, Stake is confident that it has enough to offer, and can attract new players with ease. With that out of the way, let's take a look at what you can take advantage of:
Daily Race
There is a prize pool worth $100,000 every day. When you play casino games, or wager at the sports book, you have the chance to win from this.
Weekly Giveaway
Each week there's the chance to share in a prize fund worth $75,000. To take part, you need to wager $1,000 for a ticket.
Multiplier Race
If you reach the highest multiplier on specified games, you may walk away with the top prize of $10,000.
Loyalty Program
Stake has an attractive loyalty program. However, before you enter the first level, you need to wager at least $10,000. This makes this a program for true high rollers. The rewards on offer include rakeback and daily bonuses.
Stake Customer Service
Just like other operators that we class as being among the best crypto casinos, at Stake there is a live chat option. This is available 24/7 and offers a great way to resolve any queries. You can expect a speedy response from agents who are polite and courteous.
Mobile Experience
Stake doesn't have a dedicated mobile app right now. However, you can still play on the go by going directly through your mobile browser. This means that you can play on any tablet or smartphone, without the need to download.
Summing up the Stake Casino Site
Before we move on to the next of the best crypto casinos, here's a look at the pros and cons of Stake:
Pros:

• Well-established and trusted
• Amazing exclusive games
• Wide range of cryptocurrencies accepted
• Ongoing bonuses

Cons:

• No welcome bonus
• High entry level to the loyalty program

Wild.io Bitcoin Casino

As we continue our reviews of the best crypto casinos, next up it's Wild.io. As you'll see as you read on, this is a site that comes with an attractive welcome bonus as well as an impressive lobby. Let's take a look in more detail and see what else Wild.io has to offer:
Wild.io Games Selection
A common theme among the best crypto casinos is the wide range of games that can be played. Over at Wild.io, there are around 2,500 of these to explore. This means that there's never any danger of losing interest, no matter what type of games you're a fan of. Let's take a closer look:
Wild.io Slots
As bitcoin casinos, as well as traditional ones, go the range of slots here is certainly impressive. There are more than 2,000 of these to choose from, and you can expect to see these coming from the likes of Pragmatic Play, NetEnt, Gamzix, and others. Some of the top titles that you'll be able to play include:

• Wilds of Fortune
• Rise of Triton
• Book of Doom

Table and Card Games
While Wild.io is one of the more impressive bitcoin casinos, we can't help feeling that there could be a little more on offer in this section. As it stands there are just 26 games to choose from. To be fair, all of the basics are covered, but we'd love to see this range expanded.
Live Dealer Games
This section seems to be a work in progress. As you click to enter the live area, it says that there are currently no games to play. However, there is a detailed explanation of how live bitcoin games work. This is something to be monitored as it surely means live games are on their way.
Banking Options at Wild.io
When comparing Wild.io to other bitcoin casinos, it's fair to say that there's a wide range of currencies that can be used. Here, you can choose between using:

• Bitcoin
• Ethereum
• Bitcoin Cash
• Litecoin
• Dogecoin
• Ripple
• Tron
• Binance Coin
• Tether

Wild.io Bonuses
Wild.io is one of the very best bitcoin casinos when it comes to the offers that it has. Let's take a look at these now:
Welcome Bonus
As bitcoin casino bonuses go, the welcome bonus here is very attractive. Rather than just being based on your first deposit, it's a package spread across your first three:

• First deposit - 100% match bonus up to $99 + 100 free spins.
• Second Deposit bonuses - Deposit between $100 and $499 for a 110% match plus 75 free spins.
• Third Deposit Bonus - Between 75% and 120% depending on the amount deposited, plus 75 free spins.

The wagering requirements for all three bonuses are 40x.
Wheel of Fortune
If you deposit at least $20 you can spin the Wheel of Fortune every day. Prizes can be as much as $1,000, and there are plenty of free spins up for grabs too. There is also the Jungle Wheel for VIPs. This wheel brings bigger rewards but requires a minimum deposit of $100.
Weekly Spotlight
Each week, Wild.io nominates a game that is in the spotlight. When you wager on the specified game, you're rewarded with more loyalty points.
Wild Weekends
Each Friday, Wild.io launches a promotion for the weekend. This could be a reload matched deposit bonus, free spins, or anything else that the operator decides to offer.
Rakeback and Cashback
The higher up you are in the VIP program you are, the more you can claim back. You can recover anywhere between 1% and 20% of your weekly losses.
Loyalty Program
Every player is automatically enrolled. The more you wager, the more points you have and the higher you claim. Each level has exclusive offers such as free spins and matched deposits. There are also other perks such as higher maximum withdrawals.
Wild.io Customer Service
Like the other bitcoin casinos that we've looked at, the customer service on offer at Wild.io is impressive. With a live chat function that is available 24/7, you can reach out whenever you need any assistance. When we gave this a try, we had an almost instant response meaning that our query was resolved quickly. There is also a chatbot to help with queries.
Mobile Experience
As it stands, there is no Wild.io mobile app. To enjoy this casino on the go, you can play via your mobile browser.
Summing up the Wild.io Casino
Before we move onto the final of our bitcoin casinos, here's a rundown of the pros and cons of Wild.io:
Pros:

• Attractive welcome bonus
• Ongoing promotions
• Great range of games
• 24/7 customer support

Cons:

• Lack of live dealer games
• Limited table games

Jackbit Crypto Casino

Jackbit is the final operator to make our list that looks at the best bitcoin casino. With a great game selection and free spins up for grabs, you'll soon see why we rate this crypto casino so highly. Let's get into the detail now:
Jackbit Games Library
Established in 2022, Jackbit has quickly expanded its library so that it now exceeds 6,000 titles. There are plenty of slots to choose from, as well as an impressive range of table games. The live casino is also of note. Let's take a closer look:
Slots
There is certainly no shortage of slots at Jackbit. There are thousands of games to choose from, and these come from some of the best providers around. The likes of Yggdrasil, Red Tiger, and Microgaming mean that the quality is exceptional. Just some of the titles you will find include:

• 888 Dragons
• Wanted Dead or a Wild
• Sweet Bonanza
• Gates of Olympus

Table and Card Games
While some casinos only pay lip service to games other than slots, Jackbit is a little different. There is a vast range of choices here that covers all of the games that you could ever want to play. When you look at roulette alone, there are some 56 variations just of this game so you can imagine how vast the whole offerings are.
Live Casino
If live games are your thing, you'll find over 200 of these at Jackbit. As you'd expect, the classics are all covered, but there's also the inclusion of game show titles courtesy of Evolution. Just some of these include:

• Crazy Time
• Mega Ball
• Cash or Crash
• Monopoly Live

Banking Options at Wild.io
You can use a range of cryptocurrencies to play at Jackbit. If you don't happen to own any crypto, you can use your debit or credit card to purchase through the site. Some of the currencies that can used include:

• Bitcoin
• Tron
• Solana
• Ethereum
• Monero
• Tether

Jackbit Casino Bonuses
If you're a fan of free spins, the Jackbit crypto casino may well be of interest to you. Let's take a look at why.
Jackbit First Deposit Bonus
When you make your first deposit at Jackbit, you're rewarded with 50 free spins that can be used on the Lazy Sheriff slot. What makes this bonus really attractive is the wagering requirements: wager once and any winnings are then yours.
Jackbit Loyalty Program
The loyalty program here has its focus on rakeback. As you wager more and move up the levels (Rookie to Legend), the greater the percentage of rakeback you're entitled to.
Customer Service
The Jackbit casino allows players to get in touch via live chat or email. The live chat option is there 24/7 and this is a big plus. There was a slight delay in being connected when we gave it a try, but after that the responses were all pretty much instant and we found our query being resolved very quickly.
Mobile Experience
There is currently no Jackbit mobile app. If you want to play via your smartphone or tablet, you can do this via your mobile browser. You'll find that the games translate well to the smaller screen and nothing is lost in terms of the experience.
Summing up the Jackbit Casino
Let's finish by taking a look at the pros and cons of this bitcoin casino:
Pros:

• Great free spins bonus
• Low wagering requirements
• Impressive selection of games across the board
• Top customer service

Cons:

• Limited ongoing promotions

Bitcoin Casinos FAQ
Are Bitcoin casinos safe?
Like any online casino, safety depends on the platform's reputation. Look for casinos with positive user reviews, provably fair games, and proper licensing.
What are provably fair games?
Provably fair games use cryptography to allow players to verify the randomness and fairness of each game round themselves, giving more transparency than traditional online casinos.
What types of games can I play at Bitcoin casinos?
Many Bitcoin casinos offer a wide variety of games, including slots, and table games (like blackjack and roulette.he online casino industry has experienced an explosion in popularity in recent years and, in part, that's down to the legalisation of iGaming in a selection of US states that has allowed the industry to spread around the world. Of course, online casinos have come a long way since the early days. Now, there are more casino games than ever and, along with the increase in these, there are more and more payment methods. This means that crypto gambling is now with us, and this has brought a whole new audience to iGaming. With so many sites to choose from, how do you find the best bitcoin casino? How do you know what goes into making the best crypto casino? Should you be paying attention to new bitcoin casino sites? As you read on, that's what we're going to be exploring.
An Overview Of The Best Bitcoin and Crypto Casinos
If you're someone who likes to jump right in, and take a snapshot, to follow you'll find our summary of the crypto casino market and discover the ones that we think are the best. If you're someone who seeks more detail, we have you covered too, but you'll need to read on. So, here's a look at the best bitcoin casinos, as well as those accepting other top cryptocurrencies:

• Heybets - The best for VIP perks and regular promotions.
• Metaspins - Attractive first deposit bonus.
• Inmerion Casino - Huge range of classic casino games.
• B.C Game - Bitcoin gambling for all budgets.
• Stake - Impressive all-rounder.
• Wild.i.o - Best bitcoin casino for ongoing promotions.
• Jackbit - Great selection of bitcoin table games, as well as online slots.

As you read on, we'll be exploring the best bitcoin casinos in more detail. We'll be delving into the range of bitcoin casino games, and how these compare to traditional online casinos. We'll also be looking at the cryptocurrencies that are accepted, as well as everything else you need to know about banking methods. If that's not enough, we'll be going into detail about the bitcoin casino sites and the bonuses on offer ( we know you'll be looking for free spins, an attractive match bonus, as well as VIP programs), as well as exploring the customer service on offer.

The Heybets Crypto Casino Site

Hi everyone, as the title suggests i ad an argument with my bf and it was pretty bad. It started out when he came to me after work (he works very late and we barely spend time together) and that day something happened to me and he said “i’ll come over after work and i’ll bring goodies” so i assumed he was coming to offer me support. when he arrives there’s not parking in my street so we just sat in his car and i talked about how i’d been feeling insecure lately and whatever. He left and i thought he left a little weird so on his way home i called him and he explained that “he just didn’t expect to get out of work to have a vent with me.”
idk how it escalated but it turned into an argument. I told him i thought he was coming for support and things escalated from there. At some point he brought up something that really hurt me. Context, we’ve been together for three years and we barely have sex. I have a high sex drive and sometimes that affects me. It affects me to only have sex like once or twice a month. We were starting to be sexual almost everyday and i was excited to finally be able to express my desire and stuff. he never indicated to me that he was uncomfortable he always followed along with my sexting and stuff. but in the argument he said “I think you’re hypersexual. and that really turns me off. your insistence, your lack of recognizing my situation and emotions really puts me off to even have sex a lot of the time” Ouch.
He kept saying like i treated him like a sexual object and that he felt like “he was 13 again back in those discords”. He was groomed at 13. So thats kinda crazy he basically compared me to PREDATORS.
So i was so hurt. I felt like all the progress i’d made of feeling comfortable during sex, of accepting myself had gone all away. He also told me it pissed him off i don’t have a job (he always tells me he doesn’t care and my parents said i didn’t have to work rn bc im studying). I started working at the place he did, i was a hostess. they gave me 0 training it was horrible strangers treated me horrible and the time i cried everyone, including him, told me to suck it up or else i’m leaving. idk what that leaving meant but still it hurt. They basically fired me (not rlly they said they’d put me on hold) when i asked if i could maybe be on hold until brunch hours or whenever they needed because i was failing my classes. I went to get another job but as i was abt to finish the process my mom kept insisting that i didn’t need it so i trusted her and i’m not working.
After he said that he said “Try working 9 hour shifts a day, get straight A’s and maintain your family then we can talk” “When you wake up everyday and work hard even when you have a mental disorder, then we can talk” He said that to me which is crazy bc he knows currently i al suffering from a depressive episode and i relapsed in my ED so idk i think maybe i am familiarized with mental disorders. and ik its hard. but why is he one upping me? it just sounds like he thinks he’s better than me.
Then i told him to be straight and tell me if he resented me and he kept denying it until he broke and said “OKAY FINE YES I RESENT YOU. I RESENT YOU FOR NOT EATING ALL YOUR FOOD (reminder that i have en ED so sometimes its hard to) I RESENT YOU FOR GETTING YOU A JOB WND YOU COULDN’T STICK TO IT.” he said a lot of things not just this. Again it hurt me because in my head these things aren’t bad. i’m not doing anything wrong. (idk maybe i am call me out if i am pls)
So at this point i feel disgusting because of the sex thing, horrible because it feels like i don’t work or try hard enough and it feels like he genuinely just hates who i am.
he fell asleep mid text conversation so i couldn’t rlly sleep. i stayed up the whole night sobbing because i didn’t know why i was such a bad person and how i was going to fix it. The whole argument was him basically yelling at me through text and me saying sorry. I woke up asking myself why i kept saying sorry when i didn’t do anything wrong. We woke up ge came over got me a milkshake and apologized for everything he said. He said he fucked up and that he’s sorry. This isn’t the first time we have an argument and he snaps at me and says really hurtful things. The last time we had a big argument he snapped and yelled at me saying “YOU’RE THE PROBLEM. THEN YOU ASK YOURSELF WHY YOUR FRIENDS IN HIGH SCHOOL GHOSTED YOU AND WHY YOU DON’T FIT IN” (context: i’m convinced i am on the spectrum (not diagnosed bc my mom didn’t wanna admit that her daughter had autism) and i struggle a lot to fit in. i am always the weird girl and that took a toll on me) for him to say that. for HIM the person who loves me and is meant to accept me. that hurt. he promised this would never happen again and i called him out for it. this is like the third time he snaps at me and then regrets it. He apologized and said he would never do that again. I said okay and we basically made up.
But i can’t forget this. I can’t forget the way he said those things and what he said. I can’t trust him. i do not trust what comes out of his mouth. one day he supports me the next thats the reason he resents me. and i told him that. but idk what to do. idk how to move on and forget this.
TLDR: bf and i had a big argument, he said some really hurtful things that hit close to him (insecurities and circumstances) now idk how to trust him completely again. how do i move on and forget this?

this is my first time here but i'm joining this subreddit bc god my cramps today are so bad. they're not always this bad, even tho the first day or two is usually the worst. but this is one of the worst ones i've had in over a year
i took meds as soon as i saw i was bleeding this morning. no cramps but they slowly crept later. now with a heating pad it's still not working. i'm in so much pain and i just cry over anything (i've been watching tiktoks on how to help and seeing other women cry over their periods make me cry).
i'm also so stressed. i do freelance work and i have a project due tomorrow and i was hoping to finish it today! i was gonna pump out hours of work. i cant even think straight. the stress is just adding to the pain omg.
my lower stomach AND lower back are both in pain so i'm alternating my heating pad between the two areas.
i'm gonna make a target order for some heat patches and some soup or something easy and warm to eat later. if i didn't have this work project i could just cry it out for a day but the added stress and pressure is getting to me :(
i'm sorry im just venting here. idk what is going on bc my periods aren't always this bad. do you know the pain is equivalent to a heart attack? that sounds crazy with how much people downplay it but i legit feel like im dying 😭
if anyone has any immediate/ quick tips please share!

Are you eyeing that dream car or aiming for your own slice of real estate? Or perhaps you're just tired of being rejected for credit cards or loans due to a less-than-stellar credit score. Whatever your motivation, improving your credit score quickly is within reach with the right strategies. Here's how to give your credit score a rapid boost:

1. Check Your Credit Report: Start by obtaining a copy of your credit report from all three major credit bureaus - Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion. Look for any errors or inaccuracies that could be dragging your score down. Dispute any discrepancies you find to ensure your report is accurate.
2. Pay Your Bills on Time: Your payment history makes up a significant portion of your credit score. Set up reminders or automatic payments to ensure you never miss a due date. Even one late payment can cause a dip in your score, so staying on top of your bills is crucial.
3. Reduce Your Credit Card Balances: Aim to keep your credit card balances below 30% of your available credit limit. High credit utilization can negatively impact your score. If possible, pay down your balances aggressively to improve your credit utilization ratio.
4. Become an Authorized User: If you have a family member or friend with a long and positive credit history, ask them to add you as an authorized user on their credit card account. Their responsible credit behavior can help boost your score, but make sure they have a good payment history and low credit utilization.
5. Apply for a Secured Credit Card: If you're struggling to qualify for a traditional credit card, consider applying for a secured credit card. These cards require a cash deposit as collateral, making them easier to obtain. Use the card responsibly by making small purchases and paying the balance in full each month to build positive credit history.
6. Diversify Your Credit Mix: Lenders like to see a mix of different types of credit accounts on your credit report, such as credit cards, installment loans, and a mortgage. If you only have one type of credit account, consider diversifying to potentially boost your score.
7. Keep Old Accounts Open: Closing old credit card accounts can shorten your credit history and negatively impact your score. Instead, keep those accounts open, even if you're not using them regularly. Just be sure to monitor them for any fraudulent activity.
8. Limit New Credit Inquiries: Each time you apply for credit, a hard inquiry is added to your credit report, which can temporarily lower your score. Limit the number of new credit applications you submit, especially if you're planning a major purchase in the near future.

For more>> How to boost your credit score fast
By following these steps diligently, you can see significant improvements in your credit score in a relatively short amount of time. Remember, building good credit takes patience and discipline, but the rewards are well worth the effort. Start today and pave the way to a brighter financial future.

The Brazilian State of Rio Grande do Sul is suffering from unprecedented floods. The international media coverage is lacking, so I'm trying to bring more info there from Brazilian media.
But first, let me tell some facts about the affected area: Rio Grande do Sul is one of Brazil's largest states (by area). With 281,730 km², it's bigger than Colorado or the country of Ecuador. It is home to 10.9 million people.
Now, picture this: the whole state was impacted, 90% of its cities are claiming damages from either the floods or the rain. 618,000 people are now displaced. The water level reached 30 meters (98.4 ft) in some cities. 148 confirmed deaths, 127 missing people so far. The capital, Porto Alegre, has seen water reaching 2,6m (8.5 ft) from the street level. Its International Airport is now closed and will remain for a long time — it's filled with water from the runway to the gates.
[This article has a satellite imagery comparison for Porto Alegre before and after the flood]
Millions lost their cars, their furniture, their documents and will have to make repairs to their houses (or demolish it) when the water goes down. Talking about water going down, it's going to take weeks to months for it to go away.
Why did it happen? Basically, a cold air mass came from South but faced a hot air mass just north of Rio Grande do Sul. The water in the hot air mass condensed and it rained 700mm over 15 days (5 months worth of rain). Geography did the rest, with downstream rivers and lakes accumulating water from upstream rivers and flooding. And it's still raining right now, 300mm more rain is expected for the next days. To make matters worse, temperature is going down and it's expected to reach 5°C (41 F) this week — with thousands of displaced people having nothing but the clothes on their back.
I don't even need to say that this rain is linked to climate change. Past floods in the state never reached this level, even the worse ones.
[More pictures and comparisons]
However, Porto Alegre was technically prepared for such events. It has a dike and drainage system that could handle up to 6m of water (relative to the Guaíba lake), more than the current flood (5,3m). Still, there was so much water that pumps started failing, causing more pumps to become overflowed in a cascade effect (it didn't help that the local government ignored some maintenances too).
This is what extreme weather events look like. You can tell yourself that you're safe because the geography of your area is different or that your local government is trustworthy, but ask yourself: are you really sure your city can handle 1,000mm of rain over a couple of days? Can the lake or river next to you handle it without overflowing? Can you reach the next city if all bridges get destroyed? Because extreme rainfalls and hurricanes are becoming more common thanks to global warming, and very few cities in the World are ready for this. The collapse of Rio Grande do Sul is a cautionary tale for the whole World.
Side note: because of the hot air mass, at the same time Rio Grande do Sul flooded, many Brazilian states were suffering with the hottest April/May on record and one of the driest. So that's the World at +1.58 °C, where cities just 500 mi apart are simultaneously suffering from a record flooding and a record dry hot wave.

I (20M) know I’m still young, and shouldn’t have everything figured out yet, but I feel like I have no clue at all what I want to pursue. I graduated high school in 2022, and did just enough to skate by, B’s and C’s. I wasn’t a fan of school so I never really pictured myself going to college. So I tried to enlist in the coast guard and got rejected because I was prescribed anti depressants a few years back. All my friends are either in college or military. Both of my best friends are in the marines and seem like they have it figured out, at least a head start over me. I feel like I’m rotting away in my home town while everyone else is taking that next step, planning careers and traveling and meeting new people. I am a huge over thinker which causes so much unnecessary anxiety and stress which ends in my feeling depressed and worthless by the end of the day. I’ve always worked, currently working as a waitebarback at a beach bar making good money but it’s seasonal, and I can only save so much. In the winter I worked in carpentry for about 4 months and realized it’s not what I want to continue the rest of my life. I live at home with my parents and couldn’t ask for anything better. I don’t have to pay rent and they’d honestly do anything for me so I’m truly grateful to have that. But I feel like I need to make them proud. Need to prove to them that I can be something. All I’ve been doing is working, making and playing music with my band, and surfing / skating. I know I have it a lot better than others, and again I’m truly grateful for everything I have. I just feel I’m going to be left behind while everyone else is taking the steps to succeed when I’m still unsure on what I want to do. I just want to make my family proud and prove to myself I can be successful and enjoy making a living doing something. I’m sorry to rant but I haven’t talked to anybody about this lol. Just need some advice.

I tend to make really long posts… (sorry) so I will try to make this short and sweet! I gave birth to a baby boy on May 5th, he is our 3rd child. His name is Eden.
My children are Rome Richard (m), Jade Vivienne (f) and Eden ___ (m)
They all have a 3 syllable surname, and I find myself gravitating to shorter, 1-2 syllable middle names for Eden.
Our top contenders are:
Eden Jude - I love Jude, I think it is timeless! But fear that it’s too similar to my daughter’s name (Jade). It’s also my husband’s least favourite, sadly.
Eden Nash - I think it looks and sounds cool but wonder if it is a bit trendy? Thoughts??
Eden Earle - this is my husband’s middle name, and he believes middle names have to mean something. His Father and Grandfather also have that middle name. I honestly don’t hate it, but the spelling seems weird to me? We aren’t interested in altering the spelling to Earl either, I feel like it defeats the purpose of passing down the name.
For what it’s worth, I’d say our son’s names were mutual decisions, but I named our daughter, so I feel guilty.. like I owe it to my husband to let him pick the middle name…
Anyway, we’re open to suggestions!!! :)

it’s pretty much exactly what is sounds like lol.
ive been trying to figure out how to make a diy sugar scrub cuz i rlly liked using my bfs, and all the recipes call for coconut oil, which i dont have (ik i could get it but still). they also say that a sugar scrub is basically just sugar+fragrance+carrying oil.
i have a lot of extra conditioner just cuz i dont use a ton, and i already know its skin safe cuz its for my haiscalp. it also has fragrance already.
is there any reason i cant just mix sugar and conditioner to make a simple sugar scrub?
(btw the conditioner i have is some extra function of beauty stuff, its pretty thick in consistency)

"Human, thy armies spring not from the heavens, but of the soil, and it is not the property of the soil to remain thirsty for long. Proverbs of Arienta."
"Translated from Cyanji, this old written language that serves doubly as musical notes for the Blue Light Watchers." Eshka said, sounding vaguely bored.
"And it means they anticipated we would one day build our war machine again, but this time it would have religious significance. The redemption of humanity, the salvation of the Milky Way and absolution for the horrors humans have inflicted in order to become the absolute undeposable masters of defending our galaxy, a sacred duty." Jinar ordained, with a hint of militant facetiousness in her voice.
"Who sent this?" Osowl asked the communications software. It wasn't sure.
"We've received hail from a ship nearby that isn't on any of our readings. They are cloaked. I didn't know there was such a thing." Skipper McCain said.
"It's a Cave Gods ship. They have over a million years more levels of technology than ours. Ask them what we can do for them out here." Jinar determined.
"They have sent instructions to patch them through on our communications monitor." Skipper McCain said.
"Okay, it's talk they want." Jinar mocked surprise.
The face of a young-looking Cave Gods appeared, and he spoke using his own voice in English, but very slowly and with the fermented accent of a Cave Gods.
"He's a juvenile. He's not even an age-old. Must be the Cave Gods's Youngest. They rarely reproduce, and the youngest is exiled between half an age and an age old. All the Cave Gods will be watching what he does during these centuries, he must accomplish great things before returning home. He will be well equipped with many gifts from his people, including defensive tools. We should ask his help in your war effort." Osowl Fitten realized with little effort.
"She's right, I was going to say so, but first, let me say to him how handsome he is." Eshka hissed.
"He is rather." Osowl agreed.
"What are we saying?" Skipper McCain asked.
"Patch me through to him." Jinar stood in front of the webcam.
"I am Nyctoth, this is my vessel Fly-By-Night and I seek great adventure in the stars. Admiral Jinar, I've caught up to you at last. My current quest is complete. Now I must communicate with you successfully what I have witnessed. I have seen the destruction of Pacifica by the Unknown. While I was unable to prevent this, I have decided that my way will be to do whatever is necessary to prevent such destruction from happening again. I have many refugees on my ship who are human, and while they are comfortable right now, they need a home. I was hoping you could take them." Nyctoth had said.
"We are on a mission to prepare the galaxy for the Unknown. We are building a war machine, a defense industry. When it is complete, the association and the Combine will be as best prepared for the invasion by the Dark Beings as possible. It is what we do, after all, make war." Admiral Jinar told Nyctoth. "It would serve this cause if you burdened the Combine with those refugees. We are orchestrating a war in a galaxy asleep with peace. There's gotta be some wake up calls."
"See? She knows how to use idioms properly." Eshka hissed quietly to Osowl, who realized she ot to take notes.
"Very well, Admiral. I will take the refugees from Pacifica to the Combine. When we meet again, allow me to partake in your efforts, under your command, so that we might defend the Milky Way together." Nyctoth's bat face looked eager, and Admiral Jinar caught the expression.
"You could be killed in battle, or required to kill. Is that an acceptable circumstance?" Admiral Jinar asked the Cave Gods Youngest.
"I have already lived many lifetimes past the lifespan your people enjoy and I am not even an adult. My people permit me to adventure and grow and experience the galaxy during this time, and if I should die, then that is the adventure, the experience, that I shall have. All living creatures die, but few carry the responsibility to entertain a soul. That is what all of us truly are, parts of the whole, pieces of the One. We are the sum of all things in this galaxy, and we do what we know we should do and we avoid doing what we should not do. No other circumstances are for me." Nyctoth explained.
"Very well, soldier. I hereby recruit you to special command in the New CUF. You will report directly to me and you will act autonomously while carrying out all errant missions towards our cause. If you fail in your duties, combat or otherwise, you will be discharged from our service, no longer part of the New CUF."
"Do I salute?" Nyctoth grinned with his curved fangs, his squinting eyes widening with the smile.
"No. Special command doesn't salute. You report directly to me informally and constantly. You can by my ears in the Combine. You have no idea how messy this political chapter of our war is going to get. I'm not sure I want to anticipate it myself."
"What about black ops, like sabotage or assassination?" Nyctoth asked weirdly.
"You're kidding, right?" Admiral Jinar asked.
Nyctoth laughed.
When Fly-By-Night had departed for the Combine the rest of the trip through the Basilik system was quiet. Meeting a Cave Gods Youngest felt like a big deal. Nyctoth's volunteer conscription was worth more than the prospects before them. At Basilik they were hailed.
"Exalted Inquisitor Eshka Layenna, a living legend, on my shores? I am beyond honored. Please, welcome to my city of Basilik." Said Administrator Ihanna Kelele.
When Phoenix Hawk had landed and Admiral Jinar and Osowl Fitten had emerged from the ship's parking ramp they looked to see Eshka Layenna was taken into custody by security droids. Several more such machines surrounded them and they were ordered to surrender to detainment.
"You three will remain my prisoners here. You thought you would start some kind of war using Sunder weaponry, human, but think again. We are not some munitions factory you can scout out and try to seize later. My colony will not be a pawn in your sick human war games." Administrator Ihanna Kelele chastised them in English, her voice sounding masculine and confident.
"I have diplomatic immunity, I was given the ancient signal that my visit would not be impeded in any way. You cannot detain me under these circumstances." Osowl Fitten said after she had thought for a moment. "It is illegal."
"Let her go. Capture the human on board Phoenix Hawk and then let her go."
The droids tried to enter the ramp, but Skipper McCain opened fire with an assault rifle, the high velocity bullets stinging the armored machines before burrowing in and exploding. One by one the droids came rolling down the ramp on fire.
"Surrender human, or we'll be forced to use exterminating tactics on you instead of trying to capture you." Administrator Ihanna Kelele turned up the volume on her translator and shouted into the open ship's docking compartment. The response was a spray of bullets in her general direction, a few getting a little close as they exploded on the floor around her.
"You serve no purpose to me or your commander if you are eliminated during this maneuver. I am not going to stay here and be shot at, but I'd prefer you surrender. I don't want your life on my hands." Administrator Ihanna Kelele shuddered in fear, but held her ground, insisting on capturing him alive, even at her own risk.
Admiral Jinar respected that and ordered her soldier to stand down.
"Very good. I was able to take you all alive. You will remain prisoners here indefinitely." Ihanna Kelele decided. "We are not arms dealers, you humans might be associated, but you have a lot to learn."

Let me preface this by saying I WANT my view changed. I want to become a more passive driver, and yet, I cannot shake how much bad drivers upset me, but I want to.
My biggest issue is - how can people be so entitled? Driving is one of the main things we have as a society with the same rules across the board (give or take between countries but we are focusing on the US). We all had to pass the same test to get our licenses. We should all have the same knowledge - so why don’t we act like it?
I drive defensively because I don’t want to be in an accident. I regularly keep 3-7 car lengths ahead of me depending on how fast we are going. Yes, I only use the left lane for passing. No, I don’t use my phone. Yes, I look out for others and try to do what’s best for traffic efficiency - not just my efficiency.
So - when people cut me off, enter a freeway going so slow it’s unsafe, never use a blinker, stop in the middle of a lane to make a turn instead of getting over, running red lights, sitting on my bumper instead of passing, etc. I’m sure all of you have your own experience with stupidity on the road - how do you not fucking seethe? How do you stay calm knowing that person that just jumped 5 lanes of traffic and endangered hundreds of people is more than likely thinking “wow I’m so lucky I made my exit!”
I want to stop getting upset. I want to stop using my horn as my only way of expressing the shame these people should feel. I want to stop wishing highway patrol would just do their job since it’s clear they won’t. It would be one thing if you could predict stupid, but the bar gets lower every day it seems like and I have to make more room for the dumbest and most entitled people I have ever laid eyes on.
TLDR; Road rage is justified because of how stupid and entitled drivers are now a days. (Using this as a means to help myself not be as bothered about bad drivers)

I'm an enormous DG fan, almost borderline finatic and also a musician myself. I found myself back in 2015 up to today, getting ahold of legally posted bootlegs and just listening over how gilmour changes the way he plays and sings each song note by note, phraze by phraze and just generally fanboying out over songs and playstyles as he went night after night. Its intereasting how he retains a certain over-arching phrase/lick/note relation from either a particular song or songs from the album hes touring and how that slips into the other back cataloug song solos - like a musical marker where you can tell what tour the song was played on but thats me just being a nerd and thats what i find interesting for a tour, as The pipes call has a really resh feel to it and id like to see this new layer applied over old songs as he plays them.
Its interesting reading/listening over the new developments with this upcoming tour on what to expect, the reluctance towards 70's floyd is an interesting turn but then again im a huge DG fan so his reign over floyd on AMLOR and DB are just pure bliss to me so its not a low ball IMO. It seems hes very annoyed with roger at the moment, not from exact words but more or less me reading between lines a bit, with how hes handling things and how things are manifesting, sure little 70's floyd is a little support towards that so im curious what the set list will be like. Im aware of his vocal range and perhaps the very few dates we are all seeing for the tour itself is maybe a sign to his age and abilities physically now, which also play a part of what songs meet the setlist. He said back in 2015 that he and polly sat and listened over every album making notes of what songs they wanted to play so its likly hes going to do the same again. This time though we have more supporting evidence to highlight his strenghts and weaknesses when it comes to vocal and playing ability. A lot of these high vocal range floyd/solo songs are probably not going to meet the tour so it makes me wonder, what will ?
The bootlegs from RTL have shown he has struggled to sing some songs, some more than others and a indications of struggles is his RTL set list which he has said is constructed to tell its own story but i can see its designed to provide as much vocal rest as possible. Rattle that lock (song) was such a vocal killer for him which is why i think it was played in order (5am - RTL - FOS) aka Songs 1, 2 and 3 so it was out the way first rather than played later. Risky but cool that what do you want from me made its way in an early setlist slot which would of really pushed his vocals off as well. I think a lot of people are confusing genuine playing mistakes as a sign of age, for example run like hell, he often bodged the guitar on the main riff, but you can tell with the shades on and the frantic lighting hes just struggling all out just to see what hes doing so little things like that do mask some truths. I am aware of his struggles to play fast as well so that is another factor to take onboard, vocally though he has a suprisingly good range for his age but has lost a lot of power and stamina so i dont think really relentless songs will make the cut, however luck and strange is a first for gilmour in the fact that he has included a cover so perhaps we will see a new for gilmour in the tour as well, which could be that he detunes songs simalar to how roger detuned run like hell on his live shows.
Set list Luck and strange - I think its possible hes going to play the album in full, but that depends on the instrumentation and vocal demand so its 50/50 if he will do it in full like he did with on an island in 06 or just cherry pick like he did with rattle that lock. Assuming hes made the album with live performance in mind, and lets say its going to be played in full
01 - Black Cat
02 - Luck and strange
03 - The Pipers Call
04 - A Single Spark
05 - Vita Brevis
06 - Between Two Points
07 - Dark and Velvet Nights
08 - Sings
09 - Scattered
In relation to rattle, david never plays the opening instrumentals again in tours after so im positive 5am wont feature, RTL will be too vocally demanding and not make the cut. however songs like faces of stone and in any tongue are very open songs for him to play around with, vocally not too demanding at all (assuming his Backing will take the chorus in IAT) and he has the ability to have fun with the solos. DRIFOM requires a orchestra so unless hes performing with one i dont think that or the girl in the yellow dress will feature. the rest I dont think he will take on for various mixture of reasons.
10 - Faces of Stone
11 - In Any Tongue
In relation to island, on an island and the blue are songs hes played on RTL tour, island is an easy vocal song and one he often liked to solo with so im sure that will feature, the blue on the other hand is a song that was very hit and miss on the last tour, the bootlegs made it clear he struggled vocally and guitar wise so its 50/50 but i dont think will be featured. Take a breath, smile and this heaven i think are good picks but I dont think his voice will hold out for them as he struggled with them back in 06. where we start is a very high probability but IMO only to fill out the set list.
12 - On an Island
13 - Where We Start
14 - Take a breathe - (detuned very very unlikly)
in relation to About face, hes never played any since 86 (if i recal correclty) and we know from his interviews about AMLOR that he felt floyd went very 80's with there sound at that point and about face feels exactly the same spectrum sonically so im sure hes got some issues with the sound, but, theres some songs which are good. all of them realistically are pushing his vocal stamina, songs like murder are soft high range to shouty high range which he cant really do, rame for all lovers. realistically Near the End is possible and perhaps out of the blue but i very much doubt that. I get the feeling hed play you know im right but vocally hes going to struggle.
15 - Near the End
I personally dont think we will see any from his first album. unless its an instrumental but id be very VERY suprised. in relation to devision, i think poles appart is quite likly, vocally doable and its a little roger jabb so it might make an apperence. What do you want, a great day, take it back are songs I just dont think hes got the vocal abilities for now. Likly that marooned might appear, coming back to life 50/50, lost for words also 50/50 and high hopes is almost certain.
16 - Marooned
17 - Coming Back to Life
18 - Lost for Words
19 - High Hopes
I dont think we will see anything from a momentry. on top of that I think we will see yes i have ghosts
20 - Yes I have Ghosts
and i think some songs are just set in stone
21 - Wish you were here
22 - Fat old son
23 - Comfortably Numb
I think we are going to see his son and daughter on tour with him this time, and if thats the case its likly we might get some covers as we have seen in the lock down streams as well as maybe an instrumental or two from the endless river.
I know people have high expectations and Ive seen a lot of dream setlists here on this reddit but I really doubt some of these higher vocal and more demanding performance songs will come forward. Given that he usually plays for around 2 hours, its going to be quite mellow I feel with these songs that I think hes going to play. Though I could be totally wrong, Run like Hell back on the rattle tour proved that.
what do you think ?

Good evening from the UK! My name is Blossom, I turned 21 on Tuesday (life feels long and tiring) and I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder at 20 years of age, last December. It is a more accurate diagnosis than when I was diagnosed with Schizophrenia at 18 years of age.
I don't really know what to say other than I don't like that my parents thought my disorder was because of my 6-year vegan diet, which caused them to peer pressure me into eating temporarily eating meat.
Continuing, I feel like a failure because I only barely passed my foundation year of University (the stress put me in hospital multiple times) and now that I have this diagnosis, I probably can't pursue my education further and or get a job, when it is expected of the population to have a degree/job. Though schizoaffective disorder is a disability, it's hard to view myself as disabled because I was functioning well at school until my first admission to hospital for psychosis shortly after my 18th birthday.
To be honest, I never complied with medication until my diagnosis of schizoaffective, as I believed the medication was poison and I had horrible side effects where it felt like I was dying. Despite taking medication, I attempted to take my life 5 weeks ago, due to feeling like a failure. I am casually suicidal and I think of dying everyday, however I feel like it is near impossible for me to have access to something that would successfully take my life in the UK.
I hope I can make deep connections with people on here who have been through similar because I am tired of being the only one with schizoaffective disorder; it feels like no one understands me. Thank you for taking the time to read this, have a great day/night!

This is a long one so I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read it and can maybe give me some insight of their own experiences trying to get biologics and if the generic ones are any easier to get insurance to approve/pay for than the name brand.
I've been on Humira for about 5 years now and it's worked wonderfully for me but I'm having an increasingly difficult time getting my meds, to the point that almost one week out of every month I end up having to miss a dose due to issues with insurance or the pharmacy or the financial assistance, it's always something. These constant occurrences of having to miss doses (there's been multiple instances where I was off my meds for months at a time sorting out these types of issues) have caused me to have to increase my dose from every other week to weekly injections because the medicine wasn't working as effectively as it should be.
I'm sure you all know that when you repeatedly go on and off of biologics like this your body starts to build up a resistance and the medication becomes less and less effective at managing the disease.
Anyways, I used to be on the my abbvie assist program and that's how I got my meds for the first 4 years I was on them. I had a lot of issues with that program too, but for the most part, I got my meds on time and they shipped me three months at a time so even if it was late once or twice a year, it wasn't happening every month. Last year at the end of November I submitted a new application for financial assistance (which you have to do every year). It took them an incredibly long time to process the request and they kept telling me I was missing information on the application or that they needed my doctor to fax something over. It took 8 weeks of this back and forth before they finally called and told me that they had changed their program requirements. At this point, I had been off of my meds for two months and had to be put on steroids again to try and control the disease until they approved my application. They told me because my insurance company offers a copay savings card program I was now ineligible to use the my abbvie assist program.
So, I called the copay savings card program and got signed up with them. The first two months were fine (February and March), they shipped me a month's worth of meds each time and I was able to get them on time for $5/month. I thought great, this is working, I'm finally back on my medication. Boy was I wrong. Last month I started having issues again. At first, they told me that I didn't have any refills left, which didn't make sense because I had only refilled twice so I called my doctor and asked her to send in more refills. She called me back and said she had personally talked to the pharmacy and I still had 4 refills left so she wasn't sure why they weren't letting me refill it. So I called the pharmacy back and asked them to refill, saying my doctor confirmed with them and I had refills left. Long story short after about 5 days of calling people and getting sent to dozens of different departments and being given different phone numbers to call (one lady even gave me the phone number of an entirely different company that doesn't even supply my medication, it was absolutely insane how completely mismanaged they were and how much nobody I spoke to knew anything about who I needed to talk to). Eventually, I found out that they had changed the phone number to the specialty pharmacy and the number that I'd been using for the last couple of months to refill my medication now only went to the normal pharmacy, which is why they couldn't find my refills. I finally got my meds but it had been another 2 weeks of being off of them.
This month, I called again to refill my meds last Friday. I was told that my copay savings card was no longer active and if I wanted my meds I had to pay the $1300+ copay out of pocket. Obviously I can't afford that, but the copay savings card line was closed by that point in the evening so I had to wait until Monday this week to call them. I left a message yesterday and finally got someone to talk to me today. They told me that my account had been flagged and I had to call a separate number to complete a "benefits review". Okay, fine. I spent 3 hours on the phone with these people today and this is what I've learned:

• I am apparently using the available funds on the copay card "too quickly" and spending too much at a time on my medication so my account was flagged and insurance is threatening to increase my already very high deductible unless I spend less money on my medication per month (how??? it's not like I get to choose how much they are). They are effectively telling me that I can no longer use the copay card unless I want to deal with serious consequences with my insurance coverage. I've used almost all of the available funds they gave me for the year, and they won't be giving me any more.
  
• There is another savings program that my insurance uses that offers "cost relief" to help cover what the copay card won't so I can still afford my medication. Apparently, even though this is something my insurance covers, my specific plan excludes it as a benefit so I can't use it.
  
• This leaves me with two options. I can either pay $1300 upfront with my own money to get my meds every month and then wait for them to reimburse me, which I can't afford, or I can apply for the abbvie debit card program which works similarly to the copay assistance but is instead a physical card that they send me and I use that to pay the copays so my insurance is happy and then I pay abbvie the $5/month copay directly. I don't fully understand how it works but at this point, I don't care, as long as someone is sending me medication. I said I'd like to use the abbvie debit card, they said great we'll call you in approximately 3 business days to get you the card number. My next dose is in 3 business days. So best case scenario I'm missing another week's dose waiting for the debit card number so I can order the prescription and then waiting for the medication to ship.
  

I am so completely and utterly exhausted by this entire process and I am sick and tired of constantly missing doses of my medication. It's fucking with my body, it's sending me into flare ups, and it's decreasing the effectiveness of this medication that I am fighting so fucking hard to get every single month. I'm losing money having to take time off work to spend hours on the phone with these people. I just can't do this every month for the foreseeable future. It's not sustainable.
I am so close to calling my doctor and asking to switch medications to something that is cheaper or easier to acquire because I simply can't do this every month. But, tbh I don't have much hope that this won't be my experience with any medication I try. I'm also very afraid of possible side effects, Humira has worked wonderfully for me (when I can actually fucking take it) and I haven't had any side effects, switching meds is risky in that I could have a poor reaction to it and it could not work as well at controlling my symptoms. Has anyone out there had an easier time getting generic meds than their name brand counterparts? Is there any hope for getting my meds consistently on time without spending hours and hours of my life every month fighting with these people only for my meds to be late anyways? I'm at the end of my rope here. I desperately want someone to tell me that this isn't the universal experience but I'm also not stupid enough to believe I'll have better luck with any other company. I'm not even really sure what I'm looking for here. Advice? Hope? A place to vent? It just all feels pointless sometimes.
TL;DR - I'm having an incredibly hard time getting my Humira every month and keep getting kicked off of the financial assistance programs. This is causing me to miss a lot of doses and I'm obviously having a bad time as a result of that. Are the generic options any easier to get than the name brands like Humira? Is there any biologic out there that isn't this difficult to get every month?

TL;DR - I'm worried that I might be setting myself up for even more failure by putting more of an effort into finding my first partner, but I'd like to believe the odds are still in my favor given my context (not to say I think it will be easy) and my willingness to improve by any means necessary.
(26M) I got a late start (relatively speaking) at making any real effort at dating by the time I was 24 because I hardly thought about it up until that point, or cared to put myself out there (I had some opportunities in HS, and I didn't attend college). I've been more concerned establishing my career as a freelancer in the film industry (which is still a struggle), and in my particular field, I'm not used to meeting many people in my age bracket (and not for very long either).
Finally signed up for a dating app at that age, but I haven't had too many dates. Part of it was because I'm just new and took too long to ask women out (I'm not always the best at conversation), and partly because I've been extremely inconsistent/sporadic with using it because of my concentration on work, plus my depression plays into it. Sometimes matches came in a lot easier, sometimes there's a dry spell.
Flash forward to the beginning of this year, I really haven't been using the app at all the past few months. However, I began getting closer as a friend to this one girl I began talking to at first as a freelance co-worker; we would hang out a little more regularly and chat more casually, and I never would've imagined that she would actually end up agreeing to go out with me. We both had a great time on our first date, and she told me the same thing on our second date, ending in more hugs (I'm shy, what can I say). Although she initially agreed to a third, let's just say that I said something that was totally miscalculated and immature after she originally agreed, which ultimately led her to go back and change her mind (I didn't say anything offensive for the record, but I came on too strong).
We're still friends luckily and have other platonic events planned together, but I'm in so much despair for many reasons. Besides just losing out on dating her, I feel so distressed that I have to go back to using an app (not something I'll be concerned with for a while). When I eventually try to get back into dating in general, I'm planning to go the extra mile and start working out more, attending social events, asking friends for help, signing up for a second app, and just improving my first impression and social life anyway I can. But I'm worried that if I put in 2x the amount of work, I might get 2x the amount of failure.
I've heard some men (most of them self-loathing) say on Reddit that they've done all those things and still haven't gotten anywhere by the time in their 30s (hopefully taking it with a grain of salt coming from complete strangers on Reddit), but yeah, I'm worried I'll be in the same boat. What if there's no hope even if you supposedly "do all the right things?"
Not to mention that I feel incredibly stigmatized by my old age, and all things considered, 27 will be the first full year I can really dedicate myself to finding a relationship once I stabilize this year. But does it seem like I'm on the right track? A part of me feels so undesirable from my lack of experience, but I'd like to believe there are good reasons to have hope since I've been asked out before a few times as a teenager (I wish I took those opportunities), I've been able to strike up some truly good conversations on the app (even if things eventually fell through) and if anything, being somewhat surprisingly successful with this friend of my in this first place suggests that things can happen unexpectedly.
Does that sound too optimistic though? Dating is hard enough as it is sometimes, and I'm just getting started. Not sure what to expect in my age group.

I am 18male. I like a girl and I can't stop liking her even though I have graduated from the school and haven't seen or talked to her since months. I had crushes before but they would die out but this time it's not dying down. I have been trying since almost an year to stop liking her. I particularly liked how she behaved with her friends and in the class and how she followed islam unlike many other of my colleagues. Like she isn't perfect she was in a relationship but learned her lesson. She doesn't learn much about islam she knows the basics. When she makes a mistake which causes a fight she tries to avoid blame. What do I do I don't want to propose her but I like her. I can stop thinking about her but there is this underlying feeling which makes me want to think about her. What do I do I am panicking I don't want to be in a relationship like in today's world. Pls don't just say be patient give me a method How I calm this feeling down. I am having dreams of her even and they are not explicit they are just normal dreams. This is making me depressed what do I do.

Please red my earlier post for more details.
So I (F31l left him 3 w ago and it's been painful ever since. It wasn't good staying in the relationship but it's even more painful now. I've missed him ever since and regretted it almost immediately. I somehow understand what I've been dealing with through or relationship yet I blame myself so much I still want to "change myself and save the relationship".
After the breakup he went completely cold, it's like he became another person. He said he was done although he didn't wanted to block me when I asked him to. I just can't stay away and I keep hurting myself by writing in desperate attempt to get us back. I almost feel like the abusive one since I'm the one who's love bombing and I don't even understand why. I really love him, but I understand he's not good for me. I want to be with him so badly but also I just want to forget about him.
When he answer (sometimes he don't) he goes hot/cold. When I'm asking "do you want me to stop writing and leave you alone?", he doesn't say no directly more like "I love you but I don't know what to do, I don't trust you anymore". This makes me crazy cause I want to keep proving my love for him - which is what I did during the relationship.
He also went back to drugs so I'm dying inside cause I feel guilty about it. I want to help him but sometimes it feels like the best way to help him is to dissappear. I called him to see how he was feeling cause I was worried and he started to scream "what do u want? U don't wanna help me u only care for yourself" and hang up. And I, like a fool keep thinking no he's just in a bad place. How can I leave him when he's like that?
I texted him after trying to explain my worries and that I still do care for him and he wrote back talking about love, sadness och confusion (hot/cold). He say he still love me but don't know what to do.
I'm so desperate and stuck, yesterday I relapsed hard and wrote a long confession text where I wanted to - and was ready - to do anything to save our relationship asking him what he needed from me as a partner to work. He answered "he to thinks about it a lot, that he miss me, love me, but that he don't know cause he can't TRUST me and dont know what to do". He also said "yeah that sound wonderful but how does that love of yours actually work practically?" (Don't know if the translate was good - sorry for that).
I then asked for straight answers to put it I'm my own face since I wished somewhere he would answer "NO fck of" or something. I wrote "if u don't believe my love is truth for u, do u even want me/my love? Does my fighting even mean anything?". And he stopped answering again.
I'm feeling discussed by myself. I'm ashamed yet I'm proud. I'm feeling sick and psychotic. I'm ashamed cause I feel like he's just validating himself on my emotions, yet I don't believe he's bad, just hurting, then I'm feeling "proud" cause no matter what - I follow my foolish heart. I love and want to fight for my love. But love isn't supposed to be like this. This is pure hell.
The facts in my head about what's right/wrong is a big mess right now. I know what I would say to my best friend if she told me "my story". But I'm lost. I'm lost cause he's hurting, he's damaged and I love him. I want to make everything right but I can't. I want to believe my love will save us. I want to keep changing to prove myself and my true intentions. Why doesn't he believe me? 😭
I'm feeling sick. What am I doing? Why am I chasing him? What do I even believe will happen? - IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE. I validate his behavior towards me just by being myself. Then again goes the thoughts "he's just hurting cause you're the one who left him", "you're psycho look at how desperate you are".
I start to believe I'm the copendent narcissist since I react like this. I'm so done with myself.
All I ever wanted was us to be in peace, at least most of the time and when it wasn't - battle life together. I wanted to give him everything and have a family. I miss him so much it hurts! I sometimes feel like I'll never heal fully from this love. I still haven't even accepted it for what it is - cause what is it? What's the truth? Did I ruin it all? What's going on and what can I do to fix it? If not the relationship then my head/heart.
God help me I just want to dissappear I can't do this 😭😭