Loosely inspired by this prompt a few days ago

Chunky

Cyrus strained to remember Botaski body language. Hairtendrils poofed straight out matched... human eyes bugging out? Disbelief? "Gerrota, fess up - something about the Fleet Nine Task Order Roster is bothering you?"
"Yes, Ser-geant Cy-rus. Much I do and do not understand."
"It's okay to drop the rank with other noncoms, Ger - your navy's Corbindermander is about where I am on the food chain. But other than soul-crushing boredom, what's wrong with our Roster? I have to memorize the stupid thing - you exchange staff only need familiarization."
"Cy-rus, why is the number of vessel types the same as the number of ships?"
"Hmm. Well, technically they ARE all different. Look at column TG instead - the type-groups may make more sense."
"There are still forty-two groups, out of 311 ships. Why?"
"Your home fleet has what, four ship classes?"
"Yes, Cy-rus. Would not standardization benefit your war efforts?"
"They ARE standardized, just not at the ship level."
"Tell me more. Three-hundred-eleven unique ships... hurts my brains."
"Okay, let me tell you a story. You know this fleet links by chitter-fling methods?"
"Stutter-blink drives?"
"No, that's different. Still takes intermittent FTL field activation though, just moving through third underspace, not fourth overspace. Anyway - what's your acclimatization intro package say our next link is?"
"Gotorry-Beta - 148.45 light years in your units?"
"Ages ago we patrolled through here using chitter-fling, and this one link had us in and out of FTL maybe five thousand times in ninety minutes."
"Your quartermaster issued me a mouth guard for this reason?"
"Right. It's like riding a jackhammer as a pogo stick."

"Sorry. Cultural reference: it bangs us around. Did then and still does. But then, as separate ships, transit varied from 4500 chitters to 5200 or so, and inevitably we scattered over a tenth of the target star system. So back sixty years ago that 'normal' transit trashed three destroyers and nineteen of the Gotorry navigation buoys. Chitter-fling is WAY faster than... do your fleets use Torpal Compression Drive?"
"Yes."
"Well, fleets need maintenance all the time. No biggie, normal attrition, who cares - right?"
"Not right, Cy-rus. Our fleets never experience such casual damage."
"Hmm - right - just a tenth the speed..."
"Hu-mans take crazy risks. This I knew when I signed up for exchange duty."
"Risk, shmisk. Stuff breaks. But that fleet carried an entire Quartet of Imperial Auditors; senior ones. Their ship arrived not on top of a nav beacon, but just downstream of the destruction of one. Imagine a shrapnel shower while you're still transit-groggy..."
"I will agree that is a horror. Please let me forget the image before sleep cycle!"
"Whatever. Anyway, the Auditors got shook up, and they in turn shook down our Admiralty Engineering Division with a 'Fix Or Else' order. They did, and now you see the approach of the rest of the fleet on the screen?"
"Why are they crowding us, Cy-rus? How can your navigators fly in formation so tight?!"
"Heh. Not formation, buddy - contact. Big human fleets now do chitter-fling together. Look, you were wondering earlier why our frigate looks so - *blocky* did you say?"
"Or *chunky*, Cy-rus."
"No lie, our vessel morphology is nothing like your Navy's. You folks what, *grow* those streamlined shapes?"
"Yes. A Bo-taski ship-plant is not a *factory* plant, but an *organic* plant. Your language is odd."
"I hear you. But how often do you guys *need* aerodynamic smoothness - what, maybe every year or three you dip in-atmosphere? Anyway - the Auditors also dinged the fleet for excessive customization, so the solution wound up standardizing - I think 95% of our construction?"
"That failed obviously. What Kind Of Standard Is 311 Ship Classes?! "
"Wise guy. The chunky look explains that. Our standardization is at the functional module level. The machines and weapons and structure of this frigate could make four mostly-functional sloops. You could glom two of us together and get a nasty destroyer. Likewise if we salvaged a wrecked human cruiser, most of its bits would make spares, replacements, or enhancements for anything between a patrol ketch and an Uber Battlewagon. Maybe not a Lyft Battlewagon - those lean toward carrier duties so you'd fix one with pieces from slingshot brigs, transport barks, maybe escort cutters. The Lyfts can shatter into an overpowered keel and hundreds of fighter craft."
"Shatter... from battle damage?"
"Noooo - intentionally shatter: split or scatter. You noticed the blobs abeam our aft turret? Those are parasite missile cutters - they deploy the same way. We're classed F2/Gamma/Toroid-Blue/N40/Dry. An F2/Gamma/Toroid-Blue/N36/Wet like the Henderson there has more fuel stowage and one less missile cutter. Maybe they're a Toroid-Teal - I don't remember.
"See, the engineering division that was told to fix the problem was - still is - in Billund, Denmark. I know that doesn't mean anything to you - old city on our homeworld. The facility there, the Logistics & Engineering General Office, has been doing work on interconnectability for centuries. Supposedly since before humans went to space.
"Put your... ear frills I guess? up against the wall. Hear some clicks and thumps? We're now snapped onto the starboard stern of the flagship, Juggernaut Prime, and other vessels are still attaching. Once done, we will be one big vessel that will chitter-fling *without scattering*.
"You'll still need the mouthguard though. Let me 'splain 'jackhammer'. "

so i’m about seven weeks on t and the changes are DEF setting in. most notably i have definitely picked up on the changes in BO that some guys get. and i honestly…dont hate it? its def stronger, but its not as like…sharp i guess? especially when i work out. idk.
obviously im picking up new showering/deodorant habits so im not subjecting the people around me to it but idk, i kinda dont mind those few moments before a shower when my clothes and i just kinda smell. i hope im not too much of a freak for that lmaoo

I tried literally everything!!! I have 10 different types of deodrants and antiaspirant (all clinical and quite expensive), I use PanOxyl, The Ordinary, showering once a day at night and exfoliating. I still smell like BO, and people hold their nose or cough around me!!! I am beyond frustrated and I don't know what to do with myself anymore!!! I've read evey post related to BO and sweat on this sub reddit, I've tried everything but to no avail!!!!
I just started a new job and my colleagues are already talking about me behind my back
What else can I do? What doctor should I consult! I just want to sleep and never wake up again, I am so embarrassed

I have struggled with whole bo for 11 years now. As a woman, it’s one of those mix of sweet and musty scents that i give off due to perspiration. I sweat excessively on armpits but i have 0 odor after dabbing some hibiclens before i put deodorant on. When the sun hits my hair and scalp, there’s a metallic/outside smell. I noticed washing every other day and using 10% benzoyl peroxide helps with scented conditioners. So far Ive been making a HUGE breakthrough. It’s all about consistency. Then i realized my feet get SWEATY af if i wear sandals and shoes stink up after maybe 4+ hours of working in the office. I realized cheese also contributes to the musty smell in the mornings but my diet wasnt the ultimate cure, just about 40% of it. THEN i got a whiff of the same bo off my mom when she doesn’t shower for 2+ days and a friend of mine who was overheated and sweaty in her outfit. I realized this scent is very similar to mine and its not just fishy or garbage like, just feminine bo. The remaining 60% is a natural scent i give off due to just a more excessive body heat on my chest + risk of multiplying bacteria on skin. The only way i can treat this is if i keep up a consistent routine of showering minimum 3x a day to keep washing away the scent. I can minimize it by using hibiclens then apply my own lotions/perfumes until the 4 hour of mark of body perspiration. Its a crazy routine, i can barely get in 2 showers a day because of how time consuming it is to scrub with 3-4 products, let it sit on your skin for 3 mins then wash off just to be bo free for 4-5 hours lol. I use 10% benzoyl peroxide, dove, persimmon and hibiclens. Also any clothes i wear, no matter what can make it more stronger because it contributes to the heat. I just need to wear as little fabric as possible at home.

TLDR: SO won't move out with me.
My SO and i have been together almost 20 years - both in our 40s - not married & thankfully no kids.
I am strongly considering leaving him.
Our major problem is our living situation. We rent a house from a friend - "G" . (G is my SO's best friend since college, and also co-founder of the company they started back then.) We've rented from G for over 18 years now. And although G still "lived" here, this worked out ok because G often traveled for business. He also had a second home in another state that he shared with his girlfriend. So, for the last 12 years he was gone 9 - 11 months out of the year...until the pandemic. Right before quarantine he broke up with out of state girlfriend, she kept the house and he moved in with us.
That wasn't great, but it has become worse and worse and is now untenable - for me. I can no longer stand the sight of G, and living here is turning me into a very angry person. I hate him so much he's become a migraine trigger.
SO and I originally had a chore division which worked great. Now, the house that used to be very clean is disgusting shithole because G does zero housework or home maintenance. He leaves piles of dirty dishes, molding towels, dirty clothes, half-finished craft projects, decaying houseplants, you name it, it's EVERYWHERE. We now have a roach problem because he leaves candy wrappers, beer cans and takeout containers everywhere in the house. My SO and I can't keep up with the hurricane of shit that G generates, and I very much fucking resent picking up after an adult manchild just so I can occasionally have a countertop not covered in bacon grease.
I naively though that I could sit down with the physically adult man and try to work this problem out. But since it "doesn't bother him", the mess everywhere is a "me problem". Plus, G "does dishes all the time", and he "cleans all the time". He tells my SO that he doesn't understand why it's such a big deal to me. If G does decide, hey, today's the day to wash a few pans - he makes sure to search the house to find me and tell me he's doing dishes. Then he'll wash 2 pans, poorly enough that a layer of grease remains.
He walks around in a disgusting, dirty, threadbare bathrobe, usually naked underneath. He showers maybe once a week and he is a walking cloud of weed and BO.
(This is all awful, but to me the truly infuriating thing is that he is, of course, capable of showering, using a vacuum and putting on some fucking deodorant. He will do it if he's bringing a girl over - and then he'll only clean his bedroom. G is 43 and generally only dates women in their early 20s. His latest girlfriend is older - 26 - and is spending every weekend with us, so I anticipate her moving in very soon. (She's nice enough, but I have a hard time liking or respecting anyone who would date him.) )
There are a lot of other things he does that drive me insane, but why list the rest?
Obviously, I've wanted to move out for a long time. My problem is that my SO does not.
My SO is totally unwilling to rent another place. Money is not the issue. We are house hunting and have enough cash to buy outright. So, we also have enough to rent an apartment for 6 months (or whatever) until we find a house. In our market it could be another few months before we find something we like enough to buy, and I can't last that that long here. I thought that SO, seeing the effect that G has on me and also on our relationship, would at least consider it, but he's completely against renting. Renting is "a waste of money" and "why move twice".
Ok, I can suck it up for another few months. At first I was so excited to go house hunting with the man that I love...until SO wanted to take G along when we go to open houses.
I've been extremely depressed since then, and I spend a lot of the time crying in my car. I feel like If I want to stay with the man I love I have to accept that he will never leave the man I hate.
I've had a very hard time facing the fact that my SO cares more about G than me. He chooses G over me in so many different ways. Romantic evening planned? Oh, G wants to play video games! SO and I are going out to lunch? G needs a ride home and it didn't occur to him to call a fucking Uber, so SO will drop everything to go get him.
SO will take G's side in every argument that G and I have. I am always in the wrong, G never is. G does zero housework? My SO rushes to defend him - oh, he's always been messy, he has ADHD, he's stoned, he doesn't do it to irritate you.
When G is passive aggressive towards me, I'm "imagining it". If my SO does witness G being a dick to me, SO then tells me that I'm being too sensitive, that I am choosing to be upset and it's not a big deal. SO says that I am choosing to see the worst in people and that G doesn't mean anything by it.
I'm not sure what to do. Sometimes I do feel like i'm crazy and that maybe i'm making a big deal out of nothing...other times I want to drive off and never speak to either of them again.

I’ve been taken sertraline for 2 years now. At first I sweated a lot; but now it’s much more normal HOWEVER - has anyone else noticed the smell of sweat has changed? Before I genuinely never ever noticed a smell within my sweat, only if I forgot to put deodorant on which was rare. Now however, especially within the last 6 months, I can’t escape it. It’s not just straight up BO, it’s a changed smell all together that I can’t describe. Further, it’s so pervasive!! I’ve always worn antiperspirant cream that stopped sweat altogether and it’s never failed. Recently I thought the formula had changed because it wasn’t working anymore. I changed deo to another, and still, the smell comes through.
In terms of hygiene, I shower every morning with shower gel, and nightly after the gym, again with shower gel and I apply deo both times. I’m clean, that’s not the issue. But even without barely feeling warm or doing anything like running into town to sweat, all I can smell is myself!! Has anyone else had this? It’s driving me mad!

I am a 19 year old student and I would like to quickly clarify at the beginning, no I am not a dirty person or a slob, or else I would obviously have the answer to my own question. I try to train almost every day and shower every day, sometimes twice, without floating my boat or involving any ego I think it is fair for me to say that I am a good looking guy, my girlfriend is absolutely addicted to how I smell and loves it so much its almost odd.
Now to my point, when I say BO I do not mean my armpits stink really bad, however, when I smell under my armpits there is often a hint of BO, not bad but also not appealing. This is what I am trying to figure out.
I put deodorant on every day after showering, however, on most days I find that within 1-2 hours, that nice deodorant smell is already gone and back to BO, I have tried shaving my armpit hair completely away multiple times however it does not make a difference.
Like I said before I am a generally clean person, because if I wasn't the solution here would be self explanatory. Is it the deodorant I am using? I have had periods of times where I don't notice this issue at all so maybe the type of deodorant I use is the solution.
Let me know what you guys think or have experienced or any advice you have
Again this isn't a pressing issue for me, it can just get annoying to have to reapply 8 times a day or whatever it is.

So I have always used a natural deodorant ((NOT BY CHOICE)) I have very sensitive skin on my underarms that anything can irritate it enough to make them change in color or develop a rash and I found natural deodorant doesn’t trigger the skin in my armpits. I normally don’t have BO AT ALL when I wear shirts with sleeves its like no matter how much I sweat I literally have no BO, HOWEVER whenever I wear a sleeves top I start to smell in 2 hours..
I used to use a crystal deodorant for years but recently with the lack of sweating it started to dry out my armpits and I also started wearing more sleeveless clothing which made me realize that I started to get BO when I do so. I recently switched to the Kiehl’s deodorant cream which have been working amazing however I have the same problem now with wearing sleevless I can smell a slight scent of BO and it’s bothering me. I tried arm and hammer before as a quick purchase to have as a backup and I noticed the same problem with it. Glycolic Acid burned my armpits and i’m still healing from that using papaya soap on my arm pits. I shower everyday and use the soap on my armpits in every shower my hygiene habits are very good I never skip a day without washing my body. I decided to use a normal deodorant on days I plan to go sleeveless and I need some recommendations. I read that the Secret Clinical strength deodorant and antiperspirant is good and some also saying the Mitchum ones are good but idk which one to go for.. anyone can recommend me on which deodorant to buy??(preferably unscented)

So I have always used a natural deodorant ((NOT BY CHOICE)) I have very sensitive skin on my underarms that anything can irritate it enough to make them change in color or develop a rash and I found natural deodorant doesn’t trigger the skin in my armpits. I normally don’t have BO AT ALL when I wear shirts with sleeves its like no matter how much I sweat I literally have no BO, HOWEVER whenever I wear a sleeves top I start to smell in 2 hours..
I used to use a crystal deodorant for years but recently with the lack of sweating it started to dry out my armpits and I also started wearing more sleeveless clothing which made me realize that I started to get BO when I do so. I recently switched to the Kiehl’s deodorant cream which have been working amazing however I have the same problem now with wearing sleevless I can smell a slight scent of BO and it’s bothering me. I tried arm and hammer before as a quick purchase to have as a backup and I noticed the same problem with it. Glycolic Acid burned my armpits and i’m still healing from that using papaya soap on my arm pits. I shower everyday and use the soap on my armpits in every shower my hygiene habits are very good I never skip a day without washing my body. I decided to use a normal deodorant on days I plan to go sleeveless and I need some recommendations. I read that the Secret Clinical strength deodorant and antiperspirant is good and some also saying the Mitchum ones are good but idk which one to go for.. anyone can recommend me on which deodorant to buy??(preferably unscented)

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/lolfuckno.
This post was originally posted to weddingshaming.
There was already a BoRU post by u/autochthonouschimera, which didn't include the last update yet.
TRIGGER WARNING: cheating, child neglect, extreme entitledness, talk of abortion
MOOD SPOILERS: infuriating, confusing, frustrating
The new update at the bottom of this post has been marked with --- ---
Original story was posted on December 7, 2021
Okay, so this girl I know from high school is getting married. We're both 22, for reference. In our senior year of high school she got pregnant, with baby daddy A who will be referred to as Adam. Her super conservative parents kicked her out and she ended up moving in with a friend's family. She barely graduated high school. The only reason she did were because of the generosity and support of our teachers and students who volunteered to help her, which is how we met. We were in the same law class in the morning and she had the worst morning sickness that really affected her ability to be in class. So, I took extra notes for her, tutored her, and brought her her stuff if she hadn't come back by the bell. I wasn't the only one who did stuff like this for her and I know she really appreciates all the assistance we gave her. She had the baby a month after we graduated.
She'd signed up for a 911 dispatcher course for after high school because where we live it's a good steady job, with opportunity for certificates and promotions. But she didn't realize how intensive the course would be and had to drop out. She started working at a grocery store bakery, just until she had a better plan. Adam started an apprenticeship while working part time at a hockey rink, and proposed to her literally the day of her eighteenth birthday, and brought up marriage because "it's the right thing to do" (I don't really agree with that but this isn't about me) and she was always refusing.
She started cheating on him after a while (we're all 19 now), and eventually leaves him for another guy because... She's pregnant again and it is far more likely that this guy, baby daddy B who will be referred to as Brad, is the father of the child. Neither of them can afford lawyers so getting any kind of custody agreement is a mess, and then their parents got involved and they did 50/50 split (still not made official). She has the baby, that does turn out to be Brad's, and everything is okay for about nine months, when she finds out Brad has been cheating on her with his TA. Brad decides to pay child support but doesn't really want contact with the kid, only around holidays and one weekend a month for his parents' sake.
She moves back in with her parents (we're all 20 now) who only accept her back because there's grandchildren around. On the plus side, (when she's 21) she gets to take that year long dispatcher course, and passes with flying colours!
After working as a dispatcher for a year (we're all 22 now) she meets a police officer we'll call Chad, who's 26 and married... And Adam's second (?) cousin (I can't remember how they're related, just that Adam and Chad are related somewhat distantly). She has an affair with him (infidelity is super common among cops apparently). She gets knocked up, his wife divorces him, Chad proposes because "it's the right thing to do", she accepts, and her parents kick her out again for being a [insert expletive here], she moves in with Chad with her two kids. They've started planning the wedding, which... Given the background is something akin to a dumpster fire. Adam is LIVID. He was desperately in love with this girl and hasn't really recovered from what she did to him, and while she rejected his proposals years ago, she's accepted one FROM HIS COUSIN WHO PROPSED FOR THE SAME REASON HE DID.
Adam has basically made a call for loyalty in the family, dividing everyone one who should go, who should give money, etc plus they're having trouble planning anything because of COVID. Her parents have outright said that they're not going, along with half of her family, and her younger sister has been going around and sabotaging what plans they can make.
She has asked me to be a bridesmaid, I said that I couldn't because I live in a different province now, but the truth is, I do not want to be wrapped up in that clusterfuck in any way . I'm just watching the arguments and events unfold on social media because this is quite honestly the most entertaining thing I've seen all year. It's weird to me that she even asked because we're not friends, we never have been. We were friendly strangers in high school, I just helped her out for one class because she needed help and I could give it to her. I was just being nice. But based on how she turned out I'm just sad for her. Three kids in four years, and she's alienated so much of her friends and family because if her actions, and I'm torn between feeling sorry for her and putting my head in my hands.
EDIT 1:
First off, all of your comments are hilarious. Second, I'm going to answer some of the common questions.
We're from a city with over 400,000 thousand people, she just comes from the neighbourhood that is made of either bible thumpers or white trash, with no in between. But the high school we went to was in a completely different neighbourhood than that.
Our school had a pretty good sex Ed course, and they gave out free condoms and had resources to help girls get birth control, and they had programs in place for if students ever got pregnant/were going to be teen parents (they also had one of those classes with the dolls for girls who were high risk at teen pregnancy but she wasn't high risk so she wasn't in that class) I don't if BC just didn't work for her, or if she never tried it.
She started alienating her friends after the affair with Chad came out, because people weren't exactly jumping for joy that she'd broken up a marriage (Chad and his ex didn't have any kids, thankfully, so there were less obstacles). When people weren't immediately ecstatic for her she started getting very snippy, rude, and was "calling the bitches out" on social media for not supporting her new relationship or pregnancy. (Tbh I'm really worried about her health because having this many babies so close together is just not good for her health, mental or physical.) People are also worried that Chad will cheat on her "if he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you" and think she should avoid marrying him so that she can just leave him if it happens.
I'll give you updates as they come out, but so far it's just a lot of yelling on social media (mostly from her), some relatives slut shaming her, and people who are just really worried about her because, as funny as this is, this doesn't seem like healthy behaviour.
EDIT 2:
First off, I realized I never gave this girl a name. For the sake of clarity we'll call her Beth. I realize that I didn't mention this before, but all of these are fake names.
Second, to everyone commenting that Chad is at fault for his marriage breaking up, believe me I'm well aware of that. It is his ex wife and her family/friends who solely blame Beth. Chad is also older than her and has more life experience, so I do believe that he could potentially be taking advantage of her naivete. However, she is also an adult who is capable of making her own decisions and has chosen to make poor ones in the past.
Third, people who are upset that I'm posting this story here, claiming I'm humiliating her. She has been posting about this mess on every social media platform she has since they got engaged in July. She put this out there long before I did except she did so in front of friends, family, employers, and coworkers, as well as internet randos.
Fourth, despite getting engaged in July and attempting to start planning then, I was only asked to be a bridesmaid three days ago. I knew that there was a mess going on but I didn't really pay attention to it until she asked me to be a bridesmaid. I tried to ask what was going on, I said that she should talk to someone, but when she completely brushed me off I checked her FB and Instagram and found out about all of... This.
Fifth, I realized that I didn't really talk about how disastrous the wedding planning has been going, see here you go:

• they've had to rebook three times because venues and vendors kept cancelling when infection numbers got worse even thought their wedding was months away
• Beth has been flipping between having the wedding while she's pregnant saying she's proud of her bump, and wanting to wait until they're born because she feels fat, which is unfortunate because she's been breaking down due her insecurity on a public platform
• Beth is currently seven months pregnant
• Beth's great aunt was going to give her her wedding dress to wear (after she gives birth) but Beth's mom freaked and stole the dress from said aunt before Beth could get it and is now keeping it, the great aunt says she's too old to get in a fight and has shrugged it off
• Chad's immediate family is paying for the wedding and has been cut off by the rest of their extended family for 'choosing Chad'
• Beth's wedding colours are pink and green, which is usually a nice combo but the specific shades don't go great together, they're her and Chad's favourite colours, which is fine but she literally made a video talking about these colours for 14 minutes on her insta and both of her kids are just full on bawling in the background and she's ignoring them and she's gotten some flack for that
• Adam is finally settled into his trade and has now hired a lawyer and is trying to get primary custody and not allow his daughter to go to the wedding
• she's planning a zoom baby showebachelorette party and has sent out a registry and she's asking for crazy expensive things
• she's also set up a go fund me to help pay for a honeymoon and is making a lot of posts about how no one loves her cause the fund only has $1267 of the $20k she wanted

I'll update when I can but I'm still in school and while I do want to help her, she's refused help offered in the past and there's only so much of this I can take mentally right now.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
UPDATE:
Hey everyone, so some stuff has gone down, and it doesn't look like it's over yet. Sorry, I didn't update sooner, but Rona came back with a vengeance and totally messed up plans with uni and family. Anyway, onto the update.
From the last update - 16th - Lots of ranting and chaotic wedding planning on social media, she found a dress and has decided she will get married while pregnant, they found a local wedding venue that is very lovely, but I'm shocked she's still trying to book stuff with all of their previous venue cancellations.
December 16th - Her little sister unblocked her to call her a s*ut and tell her that all her wedding plans were stupid. This resulted in a petty and entertaining facebook war until the little sis blocked her again on the 17th.
December 18th - Beth went nuts on social media because Adam had "kidnapped" their daughter, what really happened is that because courts are moving at a snail's pace due to COVID and Adam had reason to believe that their daughter was not safe living with Beth he decided to just... Not give her back. They don't have a custody agreement, and when Beth tried to call the cops they couldn't do anything because he was kinda right. There were dozens of videos on her various social media accounts of her ignoring their daughter, yelling at her daughter for crying or doing other things that toddlers do, it turns out that everything she needed was bought by Adam, food, diapers, clothes, toys, daycare (while it was open) etc. on top of the unofficial child support he was paying every month (which turned out to be $500 a month, a number I find ridiculous because Adam was already paying for literally everything) because she refused to buy anything for her daughter and insisted it was Adam's responsibility. Additionally, after the immediate post-birth appointments, Beth never took baby A to a doctor's appointment, she always deferred that to Adam. Baby A's pediatrician has NEVER met Beth. Beth even tried to get Chad to push back or intimidate him or something, but the local police where we live are under one hell of a microscope after a bunch of dirty cops got busted a couple of years ago. Basically, the cops, and the social worker they ended up calling, ended up saying there was nothing she could do until they get to court. The social worker tried to get her to go to therapy and parenting classes, but Beth refused and went on a fifteen paragraph long rant on Facebook about how she doesn't need parenting classes or therapy (she really, really does though) and called the social worker some choice words.
December 19-24 - Just a bunch of ranting on social media, calling everyone who doesn't enable or justify her behaviour cuss words, slurs, and a whole bunch of other horribly creative things. Also, both she and Chad are under investigation at work now, but she has no idea why. I'm gonna take this time to remind everyone that 99% of this info is coming from her public social media pages where her coworkers are friends and place of employment is listed.
December 25 - I am officially embarrassed to know this woman. I didn't go on her FB page until the evening cause I didn't want to deal with drama, first thing in the morning, on Xmas. In the morning she put on a very beautiful blue maternity dress, got Chad in his police blues, and baby B in a purple romper, and then live-streamed her and her family going to the courthouse to get married on Christmas day. (According to her Twitter, part of this was because their newest venue cancelled on them after COVID numbers spiked) Overall, a pretty tacky thing in my opinion because she stated plain as day, several times, that she intended her wedding anniversary to eclipse Christmas for her children because it's just "so much more special, you know?" (I am so glad that Baby B's grandparents are filing for guardianship) But here's the thing... The courthouse isn't open. Because of COVID for one thing, but also because it's Xmas and Canada has a predominantly Christian history. She proceeded to have a full meltdown, and when Baby B cried because, y'know, the kid's mom was screaming up a storm and scaring her, Beth called her a c*nt. Yup. So done with this bitch.
December 28 - I ran into her at a vaccine clinic cause we were both getting our booster shots. She didn't recognize me at first but one of my old bosses (cause I used to work at the hospital the vaccine clinic was in) called my name and said hi, so she came up to me after my old boss had left. We talked a bit while we sat down for the mandatory waiting period after getting the shot. She asked how I was but didn't even wait for me to respond before she started ranting and complaining about her life. I was just going to sit there until the time was up and then just politely make my exit, but when she started talking shit about her kids something inside me snapped. I just said "Do you even like your kids? Do you like being a mom?" She got pretty quiet for a second and then said "no". Idk, her voice and demeanour completely changed and we just sat in silence until our time was up. I said goodbye but it was really awkward.
December 31st (today) - I just looked at her feed and, this is such a shocking what-the-actual-f*** moment. She's thinking about giving up her kids. She went on about how recently she was asked if she liked her kids or being a mom, and how she realized that she didn't. She hates her children and blames them for ruining her life, and how she doesn't want to be a mom. I mean, nothing is official yet, but what the hell?!
I'll update as stuff happens now that I have the time, but this whole thing has been a big giant mess. Also, sorry for any formatting or grammatical errors, I'm not used to using Reddit on my PC.
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UPDATE
Okay, so, some stuff has happened and most of it's good? Also, the TL:DR for this update will be at the bottom
Jan 4th - Beth (and Chad) stopped posting on all social media. I was actually a little worried she died, I mean this woman posts everything short of her trips to the bathroom on IG.
Oddly enough, this got people messaging or interacting with her social media pages because she was usually the one to start contact, and that contact was usually yelling. No one heard from them and some people started to be like "should we call the cops for a wellness check?" Until Chad posted a status saying that they're fine but are "busy, please stop trying to contact us right now". Everyone listened but it was weird.
Jan 11 - I got a notification that Beth and Chad are active on social media again, but I didn't feel like drama so I didn't check out any of their posts.
Jan 12 (today) - she messaged me on FB asking me to be her MOH. She also kept going on about the resort in Cancun that she and Chad were looking to have their wedding at... This coming February. Omnicrom is really bad where we are, so no one should be travelling anywhere. I've actually had to delay my trip back to the province where I go to university. No one should be travelling anywhere.
Beth also found out that Chad was cheating on her with one of her co-workers and called the woman a "homewrecker" on FB tagged her, and posted the texts she found on Chad's phone. But Chad is the "love of her life" so she's forgiven him, but not the other woman. Which I find very hypocritical, considering how she and Chad got together.
She also sent pics of possible bridesmaid dresses and they are the most hideous dresses I've ever seen. I know that some brides do that thing where they want to look a million times better by comparison but this was just ridiculous. One of them looked like a partially deflated balloon with feathers strapped to it. She also openly admitted that she expected everyone attending to pay 3k, 2k would go towards that guest's stay at the resort and 1k would go to her and Chad and they will expected wedding gifts, so that they could get their room for free. Apparently, she talked to someone at the resort and if she got enough people to book their rooms she and Chad would get theirs for free. She also wanted the money to be given to her instead of directly to the hotel so that people wouldn't realize that she was taking 1k of their money. Beth sent me a pic of the wedding dress she wanted, and it's definitely a clubbing dress. If that's what she wants that's fine (and for the record I do think she would look great in it, Beth's (current) dream wedding dress ) but she wants all the guests to be dressed black tie. And she's already sent a list of unreasonable requests. Such as;

• all women must wear heels (for a wedding in the beach???)
• no one is allowed to have a baby or be pregnant (really?)
• girls must have longer than shoulder length hair, boys must have very short hair, only and inch or two long
• no one is allowed to be skinnier than her
• she will be providing diets for everyone attending based on how she wants us to look
• she and Chad must get bachelor and bachelorette parties both in Canada and in Mexico that need to be "fit for a king and queen" and both must be paid for but anyone but the bride and groom "cause that's just tacky"
• no unnatural hair
• no tattoos (you have five tattoos, Beth, and in the dress you want all will be on full display)
• no one is allowed to talk to her directly, they must speak through the MOH and BM

Honestly there's a lot more but I didn't feel like typing all that out. She's posted the list on FB and IG and people are already calling her a bridezilla.
I was also just kinda weirded out because aside from the previous convo at the hospital and when she originally asked me to be a bridesmaid, we haven't spoken since high school. So I respectfully declined, stating that the virus and school were my top concerns right now. Then, I decided to check her socials to see if she'd posted anything. She had and everything was basically how it was before the hiatus... Except her kids are nowhere to be found. No "look at my cute baby" pics are kids crying in the background of her videos. Nothing. Though, based on her new pics of herself, she's given birth to baby C. I mean, she's definitely still recovering, but she also definitely had a baby and that baby is not on any of her socials, so when she responded to my decline with an attempt at guilting me to be her MOH, I asked her where her kids were. This was her response.
"Oh, I left them at the side of the road in our way home from the hospital those moochers could walk home lol"
I was like, please tell me you're not being serious (especially cause it looks like she had the baby days ago). And she replied "I was just joking you shouldn't be so serious all the time". Honey, you made a joke about child abandonment/abuse, you're not being serious enough. And then I finally got the update on the kids.

• Baby A is still with Adam, Beth signed away her rights
• Baby B and Baby C have been given to a mutual cousin of Adam and Chad who is infertile (tbh I didn't need that last tidbit of info or the three paragraph long rant about how God hates infertile women, I didn't even read all of it, I couldn't, and I didn't think that Beth could be so cruel to even think those things). I checked out the FB page of Baby B's grandparents and they're happy with their grandchild's new parents, it looks like the cousin and her husband and welcoming them to the family as another set of grandparents and will let them have access to B. So yay!
• One thing I do need to stress though is that because of COVID the courts in our areas are either moving at a snail's pace or closed, so none of this is "official" but Beth (and Chad) has signed paperwork and all that needs to happen now is presenting that to a judge.

And when I rejoined our convo she said the doc she had for baby C gave her brith control, and she was surprised cause after her first pregnancy she asked her doctor for it but he refused to give her any. She mentioned that her old doctor was also her mom's and sister's doctor, she ended up asking the doc who delivered baby C to be her new doctor, so I hope that works out.
After learning all this my convo with Beth started to go down hill...
Beth: wait, did you actually think I would just leave my kids at the side of the road! I just didn't want to be a mom, but I wasn't a bad one
Me: Beth, I think that you've been through a lot of trauma in the past few years, and that it's gotten to you mentally and that you should speak to a professional.
(Of course, Beth has been a bad mom, but she does need mental health help and I wasn't going to convince her to get it, or to not tell at me, if I said that )
Beth: what? You think I'm crazy?!
Me: no. I think that getting kicked out as a teen because of a pregnancy and having your family actively reject you and try to sabotage you must have been very painful. Plus, pregnancy puts a lot of mental stress on women and you've had three in such a short time span, I just want you to take care of yourself and get what you want in life, and I think that will start with you taking care of your mental health.
Beth: what I want... IS FOR YOU TO GO STRAIGHT TO HELL! Beth then calls me every cuss word, expletive, and derogatory word she can think of one of the words she called me was a derogatory word about people from my ethnicity and my blood is boiling that she thought it was okay to say that to me.
So, I'm now on her hit list. She's been blowing up my social media all day, on her last FB post where she called me a slur she said that she still expects a good wedding gift from me. Yeah, no. So I've blocked her on everything, and I've decided to completely cut off contact. This will be my last update.
TL:DR - Beth went on a social media blackout for a bit, had baby C. Gave up all her kids, baby A is still with Adam, Baby B and Baby C are with a mutual cousin of Adam and Chad and baby B's grandparents have access. Chad cheated on her and she forgave him, but she probably shouldn't have. She's decided to have her wedding in a little over a month in Cancun and is expecting unreasonable things of everyone already. She asked me to be MOH I respectfully declined. I also suggested that she talk to a mental health professional because she's been through a lot in the last few years and she cussed me out, she also called me a derogatory name directed at people of my ethnicity and that was the final nail in the coffin. I'm now on her hit list. But her kids are safe and I have no interest in going to wedding so I'm cutting contact completely and have already blocked her on all my socials. I'm refusing to be involved with her anymore and will not be updating on the situation.
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--- EDIT - NEW UPDATE --- - JANUARY 25, 2023 - TL:DR AT THE BOTTOM
Hi, everyone, I didn't think I would be making another update, but here I am. I don't know if anyone will even care but whatever. I saw a YouTuber, Charlotte Dobre, do an entire video about this post on Facebook (which was funny, she did it well), [editor's note: here's the video in question and also: check out Charlotte Dobre's subreddit !] and got so nervous that Beth was gonna see it. Turned out, she's seen it and does not give a single damn, because as I pointed out, the majority of the info in this post came from her public social media. She also doesn't know who posted it (more on that in the update). I am still no contact with Beth and have no plans to change that anytime soon, but we have mutual friends who have told and shown me what's happened.
First things first, she and Chad did get married, but they eloped. According to all sources they are completely and utterly miserable though. Chad has proven to be and overall lazy and unfaithful husband, and Beth has really gotten into feminism (with a focus on reproductive issues) after she started using birth control, and Roe v Wade getting overturned (even though we're in Canada) really caused tension in their marriage. As it turns out, Chad thinks that abortion is murder and God created women for the purpose of making babies.
Beth tried to argue that not all women want or should be mothers using herself as an example, and then Chad went ahead and used her as an example of why women should be forced to have kids, because in the end she gave kids to an infertile couple. She didn't take that well and said that her entire life and future was ripped away from her and destroyed the second she got pregnant with baby A. Adam was never slut shamed or demeaned like she was, both at home and at school (which is a fair point, myself and many others were helpful and supportive but there were a lot of people who judged the hell out of her and said really nasty stuff) and that if she hadn't gotten pregnant she would've gone to college or university because she lost the general and financial support of her family with that positive pregnancy test. Chad has made a Tinder account. Beth was informed but it doesn't seem like she gave a damn.
So basically you could cut the tension with a knife.
And with her family, her sister came out as gay and cut off/has been cut off from their parents. But she's got a partial scholarship so she's doing okay. She and Beth are NOT on good terms but have met up and acknowledged that their parents messed them up by being religious nuts and their parents encouraged them to be competitive with each other and sabotage each other. Apparently their dad's motto is "competition brings out the best in everyone" (ugh). But they've talked and that's good enough for now.
Neither Beth nor Chad have custody or visitation of their children, which Chad is starting to regret because he's suddenly getting more and more into the church and religion. Chad talked to Beth about getting baby C back but Beth shut that down hard and warned the cousin who adopted baby C (officially and legally btw).
Beth started going to therapy after she and Chad got married, which makes me very happy and excited for her.
There was a rumour going around that Chad has a mistress and it took me a while to confirm, but it's true. He's cheating on her with a paramedic and she knows. Beth is fully aware. Idk if she plans to do anything about it or just continue to ignore it, but I hope she leaves his ass. I'm still not gonna talk to her, she crossed so many lines, but she's grown and improved a lot and her life would be a lot better without that sac of scum in her life.
Now, I have given a few details in my post that should've revealed my identity to her, namely her asking me to be her MOH. I have found out that she actually asked around 15 girls (including myself) to be her MOH, without telling any of us about the others because she was trying to get money from all of us and because her mental health has just been very bad and she needed help. And of those 15, 8 have been going to school out of province and of those eight we all had basically the same classes in high school. And apparently doesn't remember our discussion at the vaccination clinic and had major blow up with everyone she asked to be MOH. So she knows it's one of 8 people and reportedly has no interest in trying to narrow that number down. (Chad did the same thing with his groomsmen, but idk any of the numbers)
TL:DR Beth and Chad got married (eloped), are miserable, have zero custody or visitation with any of their children, Chad's cheating and Beth doesn't appear to care, Chad is super sexist, Beth is a feminist now, Beth's sister is gay and they've talked but not reconciled, Beth asked too many girls to be MOH for money and doesn't know the ID of who made this post.
Dear "Beth", if this post gets forwarded to you or somehow graces your phone screen, leave Chad. He's trash and you'll be much better without him in your life. And though I'm not willing to talk to you again because of your words and actions, I do wish for you to have a wonderful and happy life.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Please remember the NO BRIGADING RULE: do not comment on the original posts linked in BoRUs, see Rule 7. Doing so can result into a permanent ban from this sub and the other linked sub(s).
I'm not the OOP!

1. Back on 74 (Betical and Arper Remix)
   
2. Bo Bom (Alan Dixon Remix)
   
3. Location (DARREN: and JOSEPH (CH) Remix)
   

So I started playing FO76 a week ago, and yes, watching the FO show did contribute to this lol. Anyway I'm having a blast playing trough the story with my friend (we're following the BoS questline for now) and I just hit level 75, tho I still consider myself a noobie since I don't understand/know a lot of stuff.
Anyway my friend had to go and I stayed online a little bit since I wanted to adjust our CAMP, whenever I saw a Blast Zone or an Alien Invasion event I joined them since I'm trying to get the materials to build my decontamination shower and I'm desperatly trying to drop the last 2 Alien decorative items from the event (Asteroid and Alien head lamp).
I was in a public team with some super high level players since I need to be in a team for some of my perks/mutations, and after one blast zone event one of these player came to my camp, bought some random stuff from my "shop" and then dropped it to the ground adding A LOT of plans to build stuff, I was super grateful and we exchanged some emotes and then he went away.
After this I finally finished adjusting my CAMP and I was getting ready to log off, when suddenly the Alien Invasion event started so I decided to join one more time before going. Other then me there were only 2 other high level players and they were absolutely destroying evrything, so it was a breeze (I didn't drop the lamp or the asteroid tho). After the event one of the 2 player gave me a thumbs up and I did the same, then I fast traveled to my CAMP to dorp off junk and stuff. I was about to close the game when that player sent me a message (I'm on XBOX) asking if my power armor had a jetpack, I explained that I'm basically a noobie that just started the game so I just had the best I could find and didn't have any mod yet, then he offered to give me a legendary T60 with the mod installed and of course I accepted! He told me to come to his CAMP and he actually gave it to me, I tried it immediatly and it was super fun lol (I've played all Fallouts, including 4, but I've never used the Jetpack mod and I'm regretting it now). Anyway, while I was acting like a children with a new toy, I saw the player building an armor at the power armor station, then he placed said armor on the ground and used the Vault Boy with a gift in hand emote AND HE GAVE ME A FULL SET OF PROTOTYPE X01 POWER ARMOR! Needles to say I was super happy about this and made sure he knew by sending many thanks by message.
So yeah this was a great night to be playing Fallout 76, I don't think I've ever had a more wholesome experience than this in an online game.

*Throwaway because I'm pretty sure that some people I'm close with know my account and I don't want this embarrassing stuff to be in my post history
I'd say I'm a pretty hygienic person. I shower and put deodrant on daily daily; wash my sweaters/hoodies/pants after 2-3 wears; wash my T-shirts and undershirts after only one wear (yes I even wear undershirts to soak in the sweat and not stink up my top shirts).
99% of the time I don't smell like BO, so I'm not self-conscious that I smell. However, yesterday during my lunch break I walked to the plaza (to get something to eat) and back (which took a total of 30 minutes there and back from my school). By the time I came back to my school, I was sweating like mad, soaking my undershirt.
I then noticed that I smelled a bit like BO even though I wore clean clothes, deodrant, showered, etc. With that in mind I became self-conscious around other people. When people for the latter half of the day would try to initiate conversation with me, I'd try to avoid them because I'd fear they'd smell me. On top of that, at the end of the day, I was talking to a few people and some of my sentences/words came out weirdly (and they had that facial expression like, "wtf are you saying"?), mainly because I was distracted by that voice in the back of my head, "I hope I don't smell to these people".
Maybe I should stop walking to the plaza to avoid sweating like mad but yeah. I have this anxiety I guess.

Like God damn. I put on deodorant and have some crotch deodorant because I know I sweat a lot on busy days. I might smell slightly sweaty towards the end of a 10 hour day.
Then there's some of yall who I can smell from a few pallets away, just an aura of stink taking up an entire section of the lane. Or my favorite, when someone stinks so bad their foul mixture of sweat and BO lingers in a bathroom stall long past when they're done.
Holy shit guys, take a quick shower before/after work and at least use some deodorant on your pits. It isn't hard.

T.W: gonna talk about smell, especially in the lower regions.
Hi! Ky here! (He/him) So I am currently 8 months on testosterone and one thing I've noticed is my body smells a lot worse than it used to. What's frustrating is that even after a shower sometimes I still smell afterwards.
This is especially prominent with the area between my legs. I'm a heavier set person and have always struggled with maintaining good BO down between my legs. For awhile just a vaginally wash worked but lately as I've further progressed down my testosterone journey it's stopped working as well as it used to.
So my question is: What products do yall use/recommend that work really well for down there and/or general BO?

Wearing deodorant/antiperspirant bothers me on a sensory level enough that I actually don't wear it unless I absolutely have to keep lacking BO for at least several hours straight (because it's a big event with a lot of people there) and I will also be in situations (lots of physical activity, it's a million degrees and/or humid there, I'm riding in vehicles or otherwise spending time physically close to other people, etc.) where I'm much more likely to acquire BO at a faster pace and/or run into issues from it.
Nasty and rude, I know. But typically, I'm able to avoid really inflicting it on other people by showering with soap and using wipes/hand sanitizer on my armpits before going out/seeing other people if I stink.
However, I have several big events over the next few months, including spending 4 days in Costa Rica for my cousin's wedding there (and flying in an airplane both ways), that I know I will be attending where I will need to be wearing deodorant/antiperspirant, so that is why I currently want to get my deodorant/antiperspirant thing worked out ASAP.
The two big sensory issues I have with all of the deodorants/antiperspirants I've found are that 1) having a smell on me that's not, well, naturally coming from me is annoying at best and nauseating and/or headache-inducing at worst, and that 2) the way that at least antiperspirants feel against my skin (like, I can't smoothly rub any of my skin if it has antiperspirant on it) if they get anywhere else on me besides my armpits-and it seems that that gross, nasty feeling/texture on my skin persists and still takes much longer to get off me in the shower (and no, running the risk of getting this shit onto my shower towel isn't an option either) than BO does long after the anti-BO properties of said antiperspirant/deodorant have faded away.
Are there effective non-scented deodorants/antiperspirants out there that don't cause my skin to feel any differently to the touch once they're on?
Or, altnernatively, are there any specific wipes I can use to get the deodorant/antiperspirant completely off of me before I step into the shower?
If anyone needs this information to give me a better answer, I am 27 and an AFAB femme-presenting nonbinary person.

Hi everyone! This is slightly embarrassing but I feel like I have exhausted ALL avenues when it comes to managing BO. So I’m turning to Reddit for some advice. For context, I am a 25 y/o female with no existing medical conditions. My fear of smelling bad has quite literally taken over my life. I am constantly worried that I smell and others around me can smell me. It is significantly impacting my mental health as well as my relationship with my boyfriend because I am so scared to let him get close to me when I am not freshly showered. Growing up / during puberty years, my family would always tell me I was stinky. Maybe I didn’t have the best hygiene routine then, but I certainly go above and beyond now. I use silicone scrubber sponges in the shower that I disinfect after EVERY use, I use antibacterial soap under my arms, and I use bar soap + regular body wash to clean myself every single day. I have tried so many different antiperspirants and deodorants and none really seem to do the trick. (Dove, Degree, Mitchum, Secret, Old Spice, Native, probably every brand available at the drug store. Literally.) The one deodorant that I found to be effective for the longest time (Certain Dri everyday strength) is starting to fail me. I feel like I can smell myself within hours of applying it now. I also notice that the underarms of my shirts stink even after washing them despite using different products to eliminate odors from clothing. I do use the certain Dri antiperspirant roll-on at night to prevent sweating as I know that BO stems from sweat mixing with bacteria on the skin. Nobody in my life besides my sister has told me I am stinky within recent years, and to be fair, that was after a weekend of heavy drinking, hot weather, and self-tanner smell. But I was still so embarrassed. Everyone else (my mom, dad, boyfriend, and best friend) tries to reassure me that I don’t stink but I just can’t believe them when I smell myself and feel disgusted. This was a very long post I apologize. Feels good to put it all out there. But seriously ANY, any advice is helpful. I hate living like this like constantly being worried about my smell..

I made this because I know how difficult it is to find every fan made card, I hope I can help many people with this, if you see that I have forgotten a fan made card please tell me 

all fan made after 2022
more than 200 cards
prehistoric kittens (no art)
(u/Thomas-Platypus) (1-10)
1.Prehistoric 2.Kitten, 3.Meteor, 4.Eye of a pterodcatyl, Triceracat, Stegocat’s Peanut Brain, Prehistoric Skip,T-Rex, Dino RushFossil, Find, Time Traveller
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/1c2476a/prehistoric_kittenstell_me_what_you_think_of_this/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
cowboy kitten (no art)
(u/AmongUsUrMom) (11-17)
High Noon, Heist, Giddy Up, Jail, Dynamite [NOW], Barroom Brawl, Gang
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/1bzuyv3/expansion_idea_cowboy_kittens/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
greek kittens (no art)
(u/Royal_Meeting_6475)
god card:
Zeus,Aphrodite,Apollo, Ares, Artemis,Athena,Demeter,Dionysus,Hades,Hecate,Hera, Hercules Hermes,Hestia,Nike,Pan, Poseidon, Tyche
monster card:
Centaur, Chimera ,Cyclops,Dryad,Griffin,Harpy,Hell Hound ,Hippogriff,Hydra,Medusa,Minotaur,Pegasus,Salamander,Satyr,Sphinx
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/rp8pgg/greek_kittens/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
thieving kittens (no art)
(u/Royal_meeting_6475)
Black Hole, White Hole,Warrior (5), Lock (5), Djinni (1),Ghosting (1),Dwarf (4),Spy (1)
Card - Police (4),Crowbar (4),Recycling (3) Trivia Time (1)
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/rn7d1g/thieving_kittens/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
the claw of catthule part 1 (8 cards) (no art)
(u/steriaca)
Catthulu, HasPur The King In YelPurOw, the YelPurOw sign, EIPur sign, The Claw of Catthulu, Nekonomicon, Bombproof Vest, The Stars Are Ripe
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/wpxepm/the_claw_of_catthulu_a_13_card_expansion_set_fo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Illegal kitten (no art)
(u/letsplayer27)
cat burglar, In-cat-e, Cat warden, InToXiCaTeD, mouse trap, trap, sound the alarm, Smuggling, Sabotage intel, Hostage, Dumpster Driving, [I can not say IT] mission, robbery, Interrogate, investigation, hit N run, escape, timed exploding kitten,Suppression,Littering, spy, gang war, kitten Centipeda, tax inflation, gambeling addiction, predator, picky kitty, [I can not say it] pills, sentenced, wanted kitten,Tax Evasion, Embezzlement
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/19bxylp/illegal_kittens_expansion_pack_idea/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
kitten expansion (no art)
(Dont_Look_at_me12345)
sleeping kittens, Destruction kittens, super cute kitten, justice Kittens, Guardian kitten, mine bomb kitten, silent cat, super zombie kittens, R.P.S Kittens, attacking kitten (+ 2 defuse and + 2 exploding kitten):
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/1b32gwt/kittens_expansion_an_expansion_which_only_has/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Insanity kittens V2.0: (there is art)
(u/RichardNotthepidgon) (more than 90 cards) sorry I am not gonne write it
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/176jekg/insanity_kittens_v20/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Catastrophy Expantion (no art)
(u/RichardNotthepidgon)
all cards:
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/1cb8tko/faaat_list_of_card_ideas_catastrophy_expantion/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Treehouse Kittens (no art)
(u/Thomas-Platypus)
all cards:
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/1c3xqn2/treehouse_kittens/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
barfing kittens (there is art)
u/Cigz_Static
all cards:
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/17o6qgg/i_am_finally_releasing_it_barfing_kittens/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
market expansion (there is art)
(u/Medium_barber_3087)
counterfeit, refine, invest (2x)
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/1ch0zuk/the_market_expansion_vanillafriendly_cards_see/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
catnip and how it works
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/1bdoz7z/the_market_expansion_core_mechanics_explained_see/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
TRADE
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/1b8qiqf/the_first_card_of_the_community_expansion_im/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
HOMEMADE PACK (there is art)
(u/Duong_Toothy_HTF)
super catomic bomb (delate all cards in deck but not the exploding kitten)
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/18p27vf/super_catomic_bomb_card_i_made_myself/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
switch target https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/195o857/switch_target_card/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
spread x2
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/1ccr6xc/spread_x2_card/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
spread x1
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/1ccr686/spread_x1_card/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
super shuffle https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/1ca6q31/super_shuffle_card/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
anime (there is art)
(u/Practical-incident83)
hito hito no mi
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/197js8k/creating_anime_theme_kittens_expansion/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
DEMC EXPANSION (there is art)
(u/Top-Chapter-1876)
all cards:
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/12qgl28/demc_expansion_download_link_in_comments/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
army kitten expansion (there is art)
(it is made by oatmeal, remix made by u/flowixz)
all cards:
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/bie3by/fanmade_wicked_kitten_expansion/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
card idee: (there is art)
(u/MR_t0ast3r)
season of giving and cristmas grump
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/1bu2loz/two_christmas_cards_i_know_its_easter_you_dont/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
escaping kitten, draw em up and toast
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/1amz4k2/i_made_3_card_concepts/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
card idea: (there is art)
(u/averageHal989)
unwrap:
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/bcub7c/new_card_i_made_unwrap/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
magnesis: https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/atbi3g/a_new_card_idea_ive_made_but_now_with_art/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
card idea:(no art)
(u/SyellaShanita)
stack attack, Dynamite kittens, feast on their corpse, left paw, rigt paw, kitty revolution, kitty with flippers,vicious atack, duel:
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/162vuki/exploding_kittens_new_card_ideas/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
card idea: (no art)
[deleted] )=
blanket:
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/153s7ko/card_ideablanket/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
card idea: (no art)
(u/AmongUsUrMom)
wall:
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/14uwivp/card_idea_wall/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Food Bowl:
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/14uwpuz/card_idea_food_bowl/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
card idea:(there is art)
(u/Duong_toothy_HTF)
draw from evrywhere:
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/17g5btf/draw_from_everywhere_card_design_by_me_image/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
total swap:
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/17vtb4h/total_swap_card/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
exchange:
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/17p0smq/exchange_card_i_make_by_myself/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
draft cards (there is art)
(u/RichardNotthepidgon)
all cards:
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/193rh9k/draft_card_ideas/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
card idea:(no art)
(u/Dont_look_at_me12345)
Super Favor,Find The Future (x3),Counter,Recycle,Swap,Fair,Super Defuse:
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/1asnfww/some_card_ideas_from_me/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
radar:
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/17fu223/radar_card/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
super favor, find the futete 3x, counter, recycle, swap, fair, super defuse:
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/1ax0671/some_kitten_card_ideas/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
swap the futere, royal cat, guardian kittens, super mark, mine bomb kittens, I'll take all, unavoidable futere:
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/1b0a6fz/more_some_card_ideas/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
card idea: (no art)
(u/StellaShanita)
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/16as2un/more_new_card_ideas/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
card Idea: (no art)
(u/itchybarn2)
cat house:
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/14y83td/idea_cat_house/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
card Idea: (no art)
(u/loofadawg)
Separation Anxiety Cat:
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/14tpcqs/card_idea_separation_anxiety_cat/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
card idea: (no art)
(u/Keatsheimy)
https://www.reddit.com/ExplodingKittens/comments/rsh1h8/i_had_a_shower_thought_and_i_wanted_to_share_it/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/TA031544
Originally posted to AITAH
AITA for Expecting Sex on a Date Night with my Wife?
Editor’s Note: added paragraph breaks for readability
Trigger Warnings: emotional affair, infidelity, depression, verbal abuse, betrayal
Original Post: March 31, 2024
My wife and I generally have a great relationship. Last night, however, I learned from my wife that she has been on a sex strike for most of the last month due to some comments I made following our last date night (which was about a month ago).
As background, I arrange a date night each month for the two of us. I plan a dinner somewhere nice, arrange a babysitter, feed our three kids dinner, and otherwise handle all of the logistics so that all she has to do is show up. Typically, we will grab drinks somewhere after dinner (sometimes meeting up with friends for the drinks portion, and other times going just the two of us).
Earlier this month, I planned an evening out and we had a fantastic dinner together. After dinner, I proposed that we go to a nearby wine bar, but my wife (who had been texting with the wife of a couple we are close friends with), asked if we could go meet up with them for drinks instead. I was fine with that, so we headed towards a nearby bar that they had proposed. However, the other couple's dinner ran later than ours, and by the time it ended, the wife was tired and decided she wanted to go to bed. As such, her husband ended up taking her home and then joining us at the local bar they had proposed.
Around 11:45 we had to leave to relieve our babysitter. My wife was having fun and didn't want the evening to end, so she invited our friend over for another drink. I told her I was fine with that, but that I was hoping to be in bed by 1:00 a.m. (as background, I do the morning shift with our three kids every day and they get up early). My wife promised that we'd be in bed by then.
Our friend came over, we opened a bottle of wine, put on some music, and we're all having a good time. 1:00 comes around and he gets up to go, but my wife tells us we can't leave, as she is vibing. I stick around for another 10 minutes or so and then decide to call it, as I was getting pretty tired. My wife tells me she will be up in another 10 minutes. I get ready for bed (which takes about that long) and don't hear her coming, so I go to bed.
Around 3:00, I get woken up by her coming into our bedroom (she was drunk at this point and made a lot of noise). I'm now wide awake, and if that happens, it usually takes me a while to go back to sleep (in this case, it took me until around 5:00, which was fun when the kids woke up at 6:30). Anyways, at this point, since I'm now wide awake, I ask her if she'd want to have sex (probably not the most romantic, I know). She declines, as she is tired and wants to go to sleep. Fair enough, I don't push the issue, and and she immediately falls asleep.
However, I can't sleep now due to being woken up, and sit there and stew for a few hours (mostly frustrated at being woken up but also annoyed at how the evening went overall). My first mistake was sending her a text (while she is asleep) saying that her actions that evening were hurtful and that it felt like I planned this nice evening, only for her to end up spending the later part of it with someone else (and not like that - I am 100% confident they were just listening to music and chatting).
The next morning, she came downstairs apologetic. However, I made the mistake of mentioning that her actions made me not really want to plan these extravagant date nights anymore, as she had broken her promise about going to bed at a reasonable hour and then ruined my sleep (not the first time this has happened on a date night). Then (and this is where I may be the asshole), I added that this was at least the fourth date night in a row where the night had ended with us not having sex, and that in my mind, a good date night ends in sex. I also added that this one was particularly offensive because it felt like she abandoned me at the end of the night.
These comments really upset her, and she said they made her feel like I only appreciate her for sex. She added that date nights should be about having fun and enjoying her company, and that I should assume we won't have sex on date nights. Honestly, I have some sympathy for her perspective about enjoying each other's company being the most important part of a date night, but I also don't think it is unreasonable to feel a little let down after planning a romantic evening, especially since it had become a pattern, and particularly where she effectively choose to do something else rather than have sex with me. So Reddit, what do we think? AITA?
Updates: Well, this surprisingly took off. A few responses to commonly asked questions:

1. Why involve friends on date night? Because she asked - it wasn't what I had planned, but I do try to make her happy.

​

1. How often do we normally have sex? 2-3 times a week, which is honestly pretty good for having three young children, although the distribution tends to be a little uneven (i.e. we might have it 5 times one week and then only once the next). I also try to be a generous partner, and almost always try to get her off first (unless she just asks for a quickie).

​

1. How did I not notice the sex strike that was going on for almost a month? I intentionally took a week off from initiating in an effort to show I wasn't just about sex, and then I caught a severe case of COVID at the end of that week, and then she got her period, and then we went on a trip (where sex is hard with small kids). So even if she hadn't been intentionally withholding, there wouldn't really have been an opportunity for it. Just a really unfortunate series of events that happened one after the other. We also did slip in a couple of sessions in there where she initiated (in what she called "moments of weakness") - frankly, we both like sex, but she is sometimes willing to hurt/penalize herself to prove a point. Also, we've had 4 or 5 stretches in the past where we have gone many months without sex due to childbirth / major surgery / depression. I do truly care for my wife, and I'm willing to play the long game.

​

1. Why are you not worried about your wife being with a male friend late at night? We're very close to this couple, and they are probably over at our house at least once a week. The husband in particular is close friends with both me and my wife. His wife works very early in the morning, so she pretty much always goes to bed very early. As such, he is often left alone at night, and he frequently ends up at our place (where we play drink, play board games or cards, listen to music, play guitars, etc.). It is not at all unusual for him to come over and stay late at our place, as my wife and I stay up much later than his wife. It was only weird (and frustrating) because my wife invited him over on a date night. Our friend is also a really solid guy - he's probably the safest person I could think of to hang out with my wife who is a guy. I know the optics aren't great and that if I were a third party I'd probably think something shady is going on - just knowing the people involved, it's not something I am concerned about. I'm confident our friend intended to come over for just a drink - he did in fact try to leave, and he had even called an uber - my wife grabbed his phone and cancelled it. And I do think they did just lose track of time. We had a brief power outage the day before so our living room clock was not working.

​

1. What happened on the other three dates? On one, we had met up with a large group of friends at a bar after dinner and we were all having fun. Unfortunately, one of us had to relieve the babysitter. I kindly offered to go home and let her stay out with the crew (many of our friends stay out late - most have family or a full-time nanny that can do overnights). She ended up staying out until after 3:00 and was blackout when she got back, so I helped her get into bed and called it a night. On another, we got into an argument over something stupid at dinner and it killed the mood. On the third, she just was very tired by the time we got home and wanted to go to sleep (which is totally valid - I didn't complain or push it). This wasn't really a pattern of any specific behavior on her part - I was more just frustrated that circumstances seemed to always conspire to prevent the ideal date night from occurring, and this one being foiled was definitely her fault.

​

1. Why did your wife stay up so late? My wife is a bit of a night owl. Her ideal schedule is probably to stay up until 12 or 1 and then sleep in until 9. And on the weekend when she is having fun, she would easily stay up until 2 or 3. This is something that we have argued about in the past, as once she gets going she doesn't like to stop (which she admits isn't the best), which always leaves me needing to be the responsible one. I've told her in the past that I'd gladly stay up until 3:00 with her if she agrees to do the morning shift the next day, but she has always declined on the basis of that not being enough sleep.

​

1. How is your division of labor? I work a high pay, long hours job, and my wife is a SAHM. When I'm at work I'm obviously gone and she takes care of the kids. When I'm not working, I probably do 60% of the household labor and she does 40% - I try to do the heavy lifting with the kids when I'm home because taking care of three young kids is exhausting, and I know she appreciates the break. In particular, I do the morning shift, which we both view as the worst one. She is definitely appreciative of all the household labor I do, and has stated she recognizes that I do more than any of our male friends.

​

1. Is your wife a good mom? She's a fantastic mom - really, truly fantastic. She puts in a ton of effort making our kids' lives fun and full of whimsy. She's all their friends' favorite mom since she's fun and cares about them. She goes 100% when taking care of the kids, which I think is why she sometimes parties perhaps too late and doesn't want the night to end, as taking care of kids really is draining, especially if you go max effort.

​

1. How is your relationship otherwise? We both do thoughtful things for one another. I make her coffee every morning and leave a note for her next to the mug. She helps my mom with tech support (which is a true act of love - I did it for years and hated it). I buy her flowers about once a week and will randomly surprise her with small gifts. She will buy me less frequent (but larger and more thoughtful) gifts. If you take sex out of the equation, the relationship is great (and until a few weeks ago I would have told you that was great too).

​

1. Are you an unreliable narrator? I hope not? I think if you asked my wife what happened, she would agree with essentially everything I've said. I think she would probably just add some additional background information, the big one being that we have had arguments about sex in the past. We had a bad argument about 9 months ago that led to about a month-long hiatus after I complained to her that we never had sex while on vacation (and we probably take 10 or so trips a year, although many of them are just for long weekends). Her view was that we usually have kids in a room directly adjacent to us (and often other adults, since we typically do an AirBnB with friends or go to a friends' vacation home), and that she would be mortified if our kids or friends heard us. It's honestly a valid point, and she convinced me of it (I stopped trying on vacation unless she initiates (which she still does periodically)), but she did feel that I was ungrateful in light of all the normal sex we were having, and that she needed to reset expectations so that sex was special rather than a usual occurrence. I get the sense that her current sex strike is essentially the same thing.

​

1. Is this fake? Unfortunately, no. I'm very much a real human. Beep boop beep boop.

​
Update: We had a great discussion last night (and some great sex) and are fully reconciled. I apologized for making her feel like I was primarily valuing her for providing sex (it's not true, but my comments made her feel that way) and not appreciating how much sex we were already having. She apologized for ruining the last date night. She spoke to her sister about it yesterday and her sister told her inviting someone else over on your date night was really stupid.
So in the future, she said she wants date nights to be just the two of us - we can do meet ups with others on other days. This was what I was going to ask for but she beat me to it. I also promised not to complain about sex (even where, like in this case, it was not the primary complaint but part of a larger complaint) and not to send grumpy texts while she is sleeping (and instead just talk to her in the morning). So communication wins again!
TLDR: I planned a nice date night. We ended up meeting up with friends after dinner, my wife invited one of the friends back to our place to keep partying, and when I tried to end the evening, told me to go to bed and kept partying with the friend before coming up at 3:00 and drunkenly waking me up.
We got into a fight over this the next morning, and I told her it was hurtful that on a date night she decided to hang out with a friend to finish the night rather than come to bed with me, and that a date night should ideally end in us having sex, not hanging out with others. This did not go over well, as it made her feel that I was only valuing her for sex, and that I was ungrateful for how much sex we do have (which is admittedly a lot for a married couple with small children).
AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP received mixed reactions
 
Update Apr 26, 2024
Whelp, I posted about a month ago about how I was upset my wife invited our friends back over to our house at the end of a date night, and she and the husband ended up hanging out until 3:00 a.m. after I went to bed at 1:00. A lot of people suggested they were having an affair, and that I was blind to not see it. I swore and swore there was no way, I trust both of them, etc..
Turns out, Reddit was right. I was unpacking the car and my wife had left her phone in there, and when I picked it up a text from our friend flashed across saying how he wanted to kiss her and asking her to tell me she needed a night out and should go out to the bar with him.
I know its an invasion of privacy, but we know one another's passcodes, so I opened her phone and checked their text chain. She had been deleting his messages but they were still in the deleted messages folder, and it wasn't great. They've been going on dates during the day when I'm at work, and he has said very suggestive things to her. I confronted my wife about it and she claimed it was purely an emotional affair, that she knew he loved her, and enjoyed the attention, and that she had been dealing with severe depression (which is true) and it was nice to have someone to talk to who wasn't me.
That she still loved me - it was just very flattering to have the attention. I don't know whether that is all true or not, but I honestly do think she is telling the truth - she pretty much argued it wasn't that big of a deal because they didn't do anything physical outside of him kissing her once, and in her defense the suggestive texts all came from him. So I don't know where we will end up - just reality shattering because I would have never thought either would betray me like this.
TLDR: Reddit was right - they were having an affair.
Relevant Comments
OOP on how long the affair might have been going on between his wife and their friend

OOP: I think it had only been going on for a couple of months. In retrospect there were a number of signs, but I brushed them off. The only one that had really raised any alarm bells was when she washed a piece of lingerie that she hadn't worn for me in like 4 months, which raised the question of why she was doing that. I actually made a joke question about it and she mentioned she had thrown it at the hamper months ago and it had fallen behind (which honestly could be true). But now I'm thinking that wasn't the case.

 
Update #2 - April 30, 2024
This is an update to my prior update post at: Update: AITA for Expecting Sex on a Date Night with my Wife? : AITAH (reddit.com)
I had a true heart to heart with my wife two days after I learned of the emotional affair, and we are surprisingly in a really good place now. She apologized profusely, and her description and timeline of events is not as bad as I had feared. It is also consistent with what my former friend (we'll call him Rick) told me when I interrogated him (and I asked him first, before my wife would have really had a chance to collaborate on a story in the event she wanted to do so). It is also consistent with what my wife's sister has told me (she views me like a brother and is a true ally).
As backstory, Rick and his wife have been going through marital issues for quite some time. We were aware of this. About 6 months ago, things really went into a tailspin, and he started talking to my wife almost as a therapist (I know this sounds weird but my wife is really good at listening to people's troubles and providing insight - she does this for a bunch of friends (admittedly essentially all women)). It started out like once a week or so, and gradually increased from there.
By a couple of months ago, they were talking regularly (i.e. several times a week), but still only covering totally P.C. topics. My wife's sister actually confronted my wife and warned her that she thought Rick had fallen for her and that she needed to be careful. My wife was convinced that they were just good friends.
The night of the infamous date night was actually still in this period - my wife admitted that the optics looked bad, but she really was just having a good time (and was frankly pretty drunk and not thinking clearly). She did say though that after that night she realized that he might have feelings for her (and that in retrospect it was pretty obvious). She felt bad about the date night fiasco, and has been much better in that regard (and she also reduced her alcohol consumption).
About 6 weeks ago, we went on a ski trip with 5 other families (including Rick and his wife). It was a horrible trip for him, and he and his wife fought a lot. One of the nights, he got pretty drunk and asked my wife to meet him at the bar at our hotel, since he needed to talk. While there, he told her that he loved her and wished that he had married her rather than his wife. My wife just told him "I'm sorry". I had been putting the kids to bed when this went down and came down and inadvertently interrupted them right after they said this (I do remember some weird vibes in retrospect).
My wife admitted she should have told me right then and there, but that she didn't want to blow up the trip for the whole friend group, as if she told me she was worried that I might make a scene. He then didn't say anything problematic for another week or two, and she chalked it up to him just being really drunk and really sad, and hoped things could just go back to normal.
Unfortunately, Rick's marriage took a turn for the worse about a month ago, and it seems pretty clear that they are getting divorced. My wife (who suffers from severe depression) also went into a depressive period around this time, in large part due some familial issues. This was timed very poorly, as I recently launched a new division at my company and have been working 60 hour week for the last three months or so.
Both Rick and my wife felt isolated and lonely, and Rick started calling my wife virtually every day. They also started grabbing lunch once or twice a week (I guess he would meet her for lunch on his lunch break). The vast majority of their interaction was them talking about life, but he started saying inappropriate things in person like "you're the most beautiful woman I know" or "you're gorgeous". He also started drinking heavily, and he would send suggestive texts when drinking (which my wife claims she would just ignore). The time he kissed her I was actually home - the three of us had been hanging out and I went to use the restroom.
I asked her why she didn't tell me or shut things down, and she admitted it was a mixture of not wanting to blow up our friend group plus her enjoying the attention and compliments, even if she had no interest in the guy. She chuckled a little bit when I asked if she had slept with him (for reference, R is probably 150+ pounds overweight, which is one of the major strains in his marriage, whereas my wife is a true 10/10). Basically, she was depressed, needed someone to talk to, and since I was so busy with work, she found that emotional support elsewhere. She admits that it was really wrong, and has agreed to take a bunch of actions to prevent this in the future.
For me, I still struggle with why she would do some of this - e.g. if he texts that you should come over and join him in the shower, and you respond why don't we do a lunch date instead, from my view that is pouring gasoline on a fire (by showing you still want to meet with him), whereas she thought she was steering things away from problematic situations (something shady can't happen in a public setting). She said he came by the house a couple of times during the day (including once when our son was home with her), but that she really tried to steer things to public settings once she knew he loved her. It also does hurt a bit that in one of the texts R asked if they could do a lunch date and she says no, my husband (me) is working from home today, with a sad face.
But we're going to make it work. We are going to do couples therapy and she wants to do individual therapy, and she also started working part-time to keep her busy on something else. We can't go fully non-contact with R, but now all communication has to include me. I am also going to work on being more emotionally present, even when working a ton, and I told her that if she is having a depressive episode and needs to talk to someone, she can always call me - her mental well-being is more important than my work (she was afraid to call during the day since I am very busy and would call R instead). I also promised to work on being happier and more positive - I am usually a very cheerful person (which is something she loved about me), but I had been pretty grumpy and miserable over the last few months due to my job being crazy. So a little blame does rest with me (I'm certainly not perfect, although I'd never cheat on my partner).
I know most of you will probably roll your eyes and say I'm being a push-over, but none of you know how amazing my wife is. She has a magnetic personality and is the life of a party. She is also one of the brilliant people I have ever met. Shes a great mom, and my best friend. And finally, she's a bombshell - when she is dolled up, most heads turn when she enters a room. If you've ever seen Wedding Crashers, she is (in both personality and appearance) eerily similar to Isla Fisher's character (although she is better looking than Isla). I honestly can't blame R for falling for her - but I can blame him (and call him a piece of shit) for acting on it.
Dumb? Maybe. But my wife is too amazing to let go over this without a fight, especially when she seems committed to fixing things (and actually apologetic - including for getting defensive the night I discovered it).
I'll do an update in a few months. Hopefully things will be positive.
TLDR: The affair wasn't as bad as I thought, and we're going to work through things.
 

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THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

This morning, my gf of two months, who, btw, was my first gf, texted me saying "I want to break up" Ofc I asked "why?" After letting those words sink in, no response. So I ask "ur not even gonna explain?" Again, no response. Than she posts something on her story, not something that has something to do with me, but it very clearly showed that she didn't care. So, in a last hail-Mary attempt for an explanation I texted "u really don't care huh?" She replied with "u can stop texting me now thx" And I feel lost. I went on a 5km walk, when I got home I wanted to go on another one. I played fcking apex legends for a good 2-3 hours straight with a total 4-5 hours today. Which usually barely reaches one hour. Yet, I she'd bo tears, I want to feel the sensation of crying but I can't, even trying my best to cry, I just can't. I've already blocked her on everything but still I care for her situation. She had told me "I'm just going through a hard time" a week or so back. I thought all was going to be well, but now I ask u, people of reddit: what is wrong with me? Why can't I cry? Why did she do it? (Mind u I am a very kind, loving and affectionate person, also she had told me she broke up with her ex bc he gave her too little attention, so I showered her with attention, than she said "u text me too much" so I give her less attention, and than she's going through a hard time)