S6E10: “The Winds of Winter” & S7 Preview “But Grizz this episode originally aired 381 days ago.” Yea I know. That’s how long I needed to process THE GREATEST EPISODE OF TELEVISION EVER MADE. You think it’s easy to just drop what I’m doing and write about the best 69 minutes of my life? Well it’s not easy, ok!? I’m sure a lot has happened to you over the last 381 days … maybe you got a new job? Maybe you got married? Maybe you bought a home? Maybe you buried a grandparent or a pet? Or maybe you finally started that hobby you’ve been putting off? The point is, none of it matters. Regardless of what has or hasn’t happened for you in the past year, we were all luckily enough to watch this episode of television. And maybe that’s enough. If you’re a loyal Grizz subscriber, you might recall that I breakdown these recaps by geographic location. For the purposes of
this recap, each geographic location will have two sections. One section will recap what transpired in the “The Winds of Winter”, and the other section will lightly speculate about season seven. If you want to avoid the S7 speculation sections, it will be easy to do so. They will be labeled. There have been a few S7 leaks, which I’ve avoided at all costs, but there’s still a chance I still get some speculation stuff right. And I do look at stuff like “casting news”, and I dissect the trailers. So, readers beware. With all that being said, let’s get started …
Kings Landing Since this episode aired quite a few improbable things have happened, let’s take a look at just a few …
-Donald J Trump became the 45th President of the United States.
-The Chicago Cubs won the World Series.
-The Patriots overcame a second half 25 point deficit to win Super Bowl 51 in overtime.
-The overwhelming Oscar Vegas favorite for Best Picture, La La Land, was announced the winner on live TV, only to be taken away and awarded to a small budget independent film 60 seconds later.
-Brangelina broke up.
-Barry Manilow is a homosexual!? I’m still in disbelief over this one.
But
none of those things were more improbable than Cersei Lannister taking the Iron Throne for herself. I did NOT see that coming. Like at all. And I’m really smart. I mean how could a woman from a powerful political family (Lannister), whose husband used to be King (Robert), who was entangled in a sex scandal (Lancel Lannister), a military scandal (Riverrun Siege), took money from foreign powers (Iron Bank of Braavos), misappropriated funds (Joffrey’s wedding had 77 courses), mishandled classified information (confided in Littlefinger), and was accused of perjury (arrested by the Church), how could someone like that possibly become Queen? If Westeros was a democracy, you could run just about anybody against hot garbage like that. How about Ramsay Bolton? Why not? Westerosi citizens in the voting booth would start thinking,
“Ugh, he’s an evil SOB … but, he is pretty good with that bow & arrow of his … and he’s tough, maybe too tough … but at least he’s not her”.
Sorry libs, had to.
Alright, so I’ve already mentioned that this is my favorite episode of television. Well this 20 minute opening sequence is my favorite thing (scene) they’ve ever done. I have watched it over, and over, and over again. Like a crazy person. To give you a little background, the Grizz’s favorite movies are The Godfather Part 1 & Part 2. So I already have a predisposition for enjoying a drawn out, complex, and artistic revenge plot that culminates in the violent annihilation of one’s enemies, with a church backdrop, and a macabre score playing throughout. Now don’t get me wrong, Cersei Lannister is certainly no Michael Corleone. If anything she’s more of a Sonny Corleone … transparent, brash, and quick to temper. But I digress. She pulls off an absolute masterstroke here.
Essentially all of Cersei’s Kings Landing enemies (minus two) are coalesced in one location to watch her demise. The Tyrells: Mace, Loras (although not by choice), and Margaery. The “Lesser Lannisters”, Kevan & Lancel. Kevan Lannister (the Hand of the King) has been undermining Cersei, kicking her out of small council meetings, and trying to turn Tommen against her. Lancel and Cersei shagged back in S2. Then Lancel found “The Seven” and became a Sparrow. This leads me to the third faction of Cersei’s enemies that are gathered at the Sept of Baelor, The High Sparrow, and all his little sparrows. Cersei gave him the job of “pope” on a platter. How does he repay her? HE ARRESTED HER AND PARADED HER NAKED THROUGH THE STREETS. In this scene you only see 30-40 sparrows guarding the entrances & exits. But the sparrow “tumor” Cersei created in Kings Landing had long since metastasized, and is much more significant than 30-40 extras with a star on their forehead. There are thousands of sparrows, either inside of, or surrounding, the Sept of Baelor. So there they are, the Tyrells, the Lesser Lannisters, and the High Sparrow, all smugly thinking they have front row tickets to Cersei Lannisters public execution. Better check those tickets again, you’re at an Ariana Grande concert.
Oh don’t even, you know what this is. If you think this is getting any softer, you might as well click the little red “X” in the top corner.
So I don’t know if this scene is showing us Cersei’s evolution into the strategic mastermind and heir that Tywin Lannister always wanted. Or if this was simply an idea that Qyburn, THE HAND OF THE QUEEN, came up with.
Yep. That’s basically what she did. She Twin Towered her own city. She killed ALL OF THEM by herself. Well, she had the help of Qyburn and the Mountain. You remember the Mountain; he had the duel with Oberyn Martell that essentially ended in a “draw”. I’m calling it a draw because after Oberyn was done with him, the Mountains blood had more poisons than a Carrie Fisher Autopsy report: cocaine, methadone, heroin, ecstasy Prozac, Abilify, Lamictal, and oxycodone (actual drugs in her system at time of death). People think she died too young at age 60. I think you’re looking at it the wrong way. I think it’s amazing that tough old broad’s body took that kind of punishment for 45 years. Her body should be studied by scientists! She’s like a fricken X-Men. I mean HEROIN. At age 60!? She was essentially Wolverine without the claws.
Now besides blowing up the Sept of Baelor and eliminating her enemies: the Tyrells, the Lesser Lannisters, and the Sparrows, there were a few other house cleaning items left to take care of … Grand Maester Pycelle and Septa Unella. Now here’s the extra
cold part about their grisly deaths. Both of them were totally going to the Sept of Baelor for Cersei’s trial anyways. I’m sure they both had tickets. Having tickets to the Loras Tyrell and Cersei Lannister trials would be the equivalent of having Super Bowl tickets, or MayweatheMcGregor tickets. And then they would have died instantly like everyone else in attendance. So their elaborate deaths are strictly personal.
Pycelle has been trying to undermine Qyburn since the day Jaime brought him to court (S3E10). So it’s personal between Qyburn and Pycelle. Qyburn’s speech while Pycelle is getting stabbed to death by a veritable army of homeless kids was my second favorite quote of the episode.
“Please, Grand Maester. I bear you no ill will. Please forgive me if you can. This pains me, my lord. Whatever your faults, you do not deserve to die alone in such a cold, dark place. But sometimes before we can usher in the new, the old must be put to rest.”
If I ever get to kill anyone, I hope I have a really elaborate speech locked and loaded. If you’re going to kill someone have a little decorum at least. I really liked this tweet …
Adam Jacobi @Adam_Jacobi 26 Jun 2016
The maester getting aerated by some grimy shorties was like the 10th craziest thing that happened tonight #GameofThrones
The next scene opens with a shot of Cersei wine-boarding Septa Unella. She’s been rendered unconscious and strapped to a board. While all of her coworkers, friends, home, and religion are getting blown to pieces. And that’s just before lunch. Ugh. Talk about a case of the Mondays. And now she’s got days, weeks, even months of unspeakable torture and forced physical contact with the Mountain ahead of her. And if someone is going to have their way with you, I suppose an undead 6’9 man clocking in at 403 pounds who can dead lift 1,000 pounds, is a pretty tough draw. Cersei tried tell Unella right after they arrested her (S5E7),
“Look at me. Look at my face. It will be the last thing you see before you die”.
And say what you will about Cersei’s leadership style, she keeps her promises!
Some additional “Quick Hitters” from this scene … -What other TV show (past, present, or future) has the balls to kill off NINE CHARACTERS with speaking parts in the first twenty minutes of an episode? That’d be a really dark episode of the Big Bang Theory.
-Margaery Tyrell was the biggest death in this episode, and one of the best “game players” that’s been removed from the board. I love when she figures it out before everyone else, and really takes it to the High Sparrow. That’s my favorite quote from the episode,
“Forget about the bloody gods and listen to what I’m telling you. Cersei understands the consequences of her absence and she is absent anyway, which means she does not intend to suffer those consequences. The trial can wait. We all need to leave. We all need to leave now.”
Margaery will be missed. -Poor Loras Tyrell. Ugh. Not exactly an ideal forum to come out of the closet. The Seven Pointed Star & Sparrows (Catholics) aren’t exactly “woke” on LGBT issues. I bet there’s a good chunk of atheists/agnostics, gay people, educated folks, and open minded citizens in Westeros that are secretly happy it blew up. “Oh no, you destroyed an ancient, sexist, homophobic, intolerant, scandalous, war mongering institution that actively undermines secular progress and claims to have direct knowledge of God’s will. What a bummer. Too bad we don’t have
that place anymore. It was really fun going through the motions and visiting the “sept of baelor” 2-3 times a year for the sake of extended family members and appearances.” So take that.
-What do we suppose the extent of the blast was? Kings Landing has 500,000 people. If you asked my opinion, and I suppose that’s sort of why you’re reading this, I’m going to assume that Cersei took out about 10-15% of the city … in terms of both physical space, and population.
-In retrospect, I suppose it was a bad idea to let King Tommen stay up and binge watch “13 Reasons Why” on the Red Keep Netflix account. Password: Sir Pounce-a-Lot. Cersei is completely numb to the fact that Tommen is dead. She’s emotionless when she looks at his corpse.
“Gold will be their crowns, and gold will be their shrouds”
said Maggy the Frog. It’s not that Cersei doesn’t love Tommen, she absolutely does. But after Myrcellas death, I think Cersei accepts the fact that the prophecy is inevitable, and that all of her children will die before she does.
-The 9 minute & 50 second soundtrack used for this scene, “The Light of the Seven”, is the best piece of music they’ve used in this show. It’s haunting and beautiful. It’s better than the opening title sequence, it’s better than the Rains of Castamere, it’s better than all of it. I’ve heard it 100 times and I still get goosebumps sometimes. The composer Ramin Djawadi is a man amongst boys.
-Miguel Sapochnik, the director of this episode, has four sodes under his belt now: S5E7 “The Gift”, S5E8 “Hardhome”, S6E9 “Battle of the Bastards”, and S6E10 “The Winds of Winter”. He’s helmed three of the Top 10 episodes. I know he’s not back for S7, which isn’t unusual. Sometimes the directors take a year off because the GoT shooting schedule is so grueling on the directors. But he
has to be back for the final six sodes (S8). We need him.
Kings Landing: S7 predictions -Could Septa Unella be out for revenge?
Winterfell Winterfell Part 1:
Davos walks in on Emo-Jon pouting to Melisandre,
“During the Winterfell feasts, I used to have to sit in the back of the room”.
Old ass Melisandre doesn’t have time for Emo-Jon’s BS. You have to remember she only looks like a hot lady because of magic; she’s really like hundreds of years old. So Mel’s clock (and all of humanities clock) is ticking. She doesn’t care that Man-Bun Emo-Jon used to threaten to cut himself after feasts.
“It could have been worse Jon Snow, you had a family, you had feasts”.
Even if Jon was the “black sheep”, or rather “white wolf” of his family (because of Catelyn Stark), he still belonged to the 1% of the 1%, and never wanted for anything. Now Mel on the other hand, her origins are largely mysterious, but she was most likely sold into slavery when she was a child, somewhere in the far corners of Essos. So she’s seen some stuff. In walks Davos
,
“Tell him … Tell him who it belonged to … Tell him what you did to her … TELL HIM … YOU BURNED A LITTLE GIRL ALIVE … I loved that girl, like she was my own, AND YOU KILLED HER.”
Davos is shaking while he does this. It’s the best Davos scene in the entire show. Do yourself a favor and watch it again. Liam Cunningham (Davos) makes this scene his bitch. From an acting standpoint, Liam is the sodes MVP. So sayeth The Grizz. But Jon feels a little uneasy about executing the woman that BROUGHT HIM BACK FROM THE DEAD. So he tells her to get the F out of the North, and sends her packing. He’s mainly upset that she called him a pussy at the beginning of the scene.
Winterfell Part 2:
Jon and Sansa talk bedroom arrangements. They’re both extra conciliatory about it,
“No you should take the master bedroom”. “No, I couldn’t, you deserve it”.
Back and forth like that. Easy guys, it’s fricken Winterfell. It has like 1,300,000 square feet. I’m sure there are plenty of dope bedrooms to go around. Bedrooms they’ve never even been in before, dozens of them, despite growing up there. Plus this is a GRRM story; they’ll probably wind up sharing the master bedroom anyways. Three things I liked about this scene. The score is tight. They received a White Raven from the Citadel (signifying that winter is here, after 60 episodes). And Jon’s joke to Sansa (after she tells him about the White Raven),
“Well, father always promised didn’t he?”
It’s a nice moment, and a callback to Ned saying the family catchphrase 75 times in S1.
Winterfell Part 3:
Littlefinger is creeping on Sansa in the Winterfell Godswood. And then he reveals his big master plan to her … he wants to be on the Iron Throne, and he likes red heads. Sweet dude. Yea, we’ve known that since like the 3rd episode. You’re not exactly knocking anyone’s socks off with this revelation. I hate to be one of those snobby book guys, but Book Littlefinger >>>>> Show Littlefinger.
Winterfell Part 4:
THE KING IN THE NORTH!!!
How do you not get goosebumps in this scene!? This scene is pretty reminiscent of Rob Starks “King in the North” anointing in S1E10. In the sense that it’s a bunch of grizzled old white men contemplating their next course of action, and they end up giving all the power to the hot young guy in the room. Lyanna Mormont (played by Bella Ramsey) is given another huge S6 monologue. She emasculates and admonishes the aforementioned grizzled old white guy club. She specifically calls out Lord Manderly, Lord Glover, and Lord Cerwyn for remaining neutral and not supporting the Starks during the Battle of the Bastards. She reminds the three men of the losses they incurred at the hands of the Boltons.
“But House Mormont remembers, THE NORTH REMEMBERS. We know no king but the King in the North whose name is Stark. I don’t care if he’s a bastard. He’s my King from this day, until his last day”.
This strikes a nerve with Lord Manderly of White Harbor, who is a crucial domino in this scene. See outside of the Starks, the Manderly’s currently have the 2nd biggest Northern Army. White Harbor is rich and densely populated. So when Lord Manderly pledges his sword to Jon Snow, THE WHITE WOLF, all the other chumps fall in line. In the books Lord Manderly is like 400 pounds and can’t ride a horse. In the TV show he’s a little husky I guess? He definitely has an overweight BMI … maybe even an obese BMI. It’s hard to tell with all the armor on. He’s probably on the borderline of overweight and obese BMIs, and he shifts between those two categories almost daily, depending on what he had for lunch that day … like if he went to Olive Garden and ate a bunch of pasta and breadsticks, he’s obese that day. And then the next day he has Olive Garden diarrhea all morning, and he only eats a salad, then he’s just overweight that day. But he’s definitely fatter in the books. That much I know.
Winterfell: S7 Predictions
-Man they have a lot of Sansa & Littlefinger featured in the two trailers. Something is definitely going down at Winterfell. I don’t like it. I feel like either of them could be a S7 “major death”. Something feels wrong.
-I think/hope we’re getting a Stark Family Reunion: Sansa, Bran, Jon, and Arya, all together under the same roof. Just give us one episode, or even just one scene … before they all run off in separate directions to complete their side missions again.
-The trailers sure make it look like Jon is heading North of the Wall again. And he’s wearing Wildling gear? Hey Jon! How many times do you need to almost die North of the Wall before you learn your lesson!? It can’t be a rescue mission at this point. Everyone North of the Wall is definitely dead. So why would they go there? That’s one of the biggest questions I have for this season.
-Pod and Brienne were a couple of the few characters not featured in the S6 finale. But spoiler alert, they’re definitely joining the party up North. Makes sense with Brienne being sworn to Sansa.
-I suspect they beefed up Lyanna Mormonts role. She was good. And the internet went NUTS for her.
-The Brotherhood without Banners is heading North too. Basically if you have a speaking part and you’re not in a direct alliance with Daenerys or Cersei, then you’re heading North … the safest place to be.
Oldtown
Did I just enjoy a Sam & Gilly scene? I can’t believe I just enjoyed a Sam & Gilly scene. This has been their best season by far. Sam & Gilly & Craster Junior arrive in Oldtown, and it looks pretty BA. We get a sweet shot of “Hightower”, the tallest structure in Westeros, even taller than the Wall. And a shot of what appears to be the “Citadel”, the brain trust and archives of Westeros. It’s where all the maesters are trained, and the “Archmaesters” of the “Conclave” preside. And as a nice little touch we see hundreds of white ravens pouring out of Hightower, to spread word across the seven kingdoms that winter is here. Ugh. But since I’m the Grizz, I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out that the white ravens should technically be coming from the Citadel, and not from Hightower. The Archmaesters aren’t located in Hightower, House Hightower the ruling family of Oldtown is in Hightower. Duh. But it looks cool, I get it. Oldtown was tied with Kings Landing as the largest populated city in Westeros with 500,000 people. But now they’re totally #1 since Cersei Nagasaki’d her own people.
Sam has hidden his priceless Valyrian steel sword “Heartsbane” in what appears to be an extra large brown paper bag. This does very little to disguise or hide the sword. By the way, when Sam & Gilly & Craster Junior enter the Citadel to talk to the maester of reception desks, where did they put their bags and Heartsbane? Are there guest locker rooms just inside of the Citadel entrance that strangers can use!? The maester of reception desks is totally not happy to see this trio. He’s a direct reflection of the audience. Eventually he lets Sam into the library, and the sight of so many books makes Sam cream himself. The guy likes books. This scene is cool. When he first walks into that massive library there’s such an epic feel to it. It’s scored beautifully. And the room is lit by a couple of golden orb thingys that directly resemble the golden orb thingy that they use in the show’s opening credits. Neat! Maybe that means something!?
Oldtown: S7 Predictions/Mild Spoiler
-One of the major new castings for S7 was Jim Broadbent, a prolific English actor from a million different things. There’s a 1,000,000% chance you’ve seen him in something. He will likely have the “meatiest” new part. He plays Archmaester Marwyn. Archmaesters are senior experts in their given fields of study, and a dozen or so Archmaesters comprise the “Conclave”, the governing body of the maester order. So what’s Marwyn’s expertise? He’s like the magic dude! He studies all the weird stuff. He’s the only Archmaester that would associate himself with Qyburn, before the rest of the Archmaesters expelled Qyburn for his “dark experiments”. So Qyburn likes to play with dead people? So what? Everybody has a thing. Anyways, Jim Broadbent being the GoT newb that he is, accidently let it slip during an interview that he’s in five sodes this season, which probably means that Sam/Gilly/Oldtown are in 5/7 sodes. That’s my mild spoiler. We can kind of presume that Marwyn will heed Sam’s tales about the White Walkers, and they’ll go about devising a plan to stop them. This could be pretty cool. I assume there’s more to uncover than just “Valyrian Steel” and “Obsidian (dragon glass)”. The audience already knows about that just, there has to be a whole new layer we don’t even know about yet.
Dorne – Water Gardens
Yep. Looks like Ellaria and the three Sand Snakes are still in control of Dorne. Despite the fact they’re all baseborn bastards who murdered the family that’s ruled Dorne for over 1,000 years. And nobody even questions it, CAUSE THAT MAKES SENSE. Olenna Tyrell and the four Dornish women are all kind of positioned in a half circle around a coffee table, lounging in comfortable chairs, like they’re hosting the Westerosi version The View.
“Thanks for joining! Today we’ll be discussing Cersei Lannister’s trial, fashion tips for the Long Winter, medieval douching, and George Clooney”.
Yea … The Grizz has no idea what they talk about on The View … I gotta be close though. So despite their differences and sordid past, Varys has brokered an alliance between Dorne and the Reach, to join Team Targaryen. This alliance is fitting because they were the only two kingdoms that remained loyal to “the crown”, Mad King Aerys II, during Roberts Rebellion. Dorne is still nursing wounds from 20 years ago when Tywin Lannister had Elia Martell (who would have been queen) brutally murdered, along with her two children. The Reach & Olenna Tyrell’s wounds are fresher, since Cersei Lannister just Timothy McVeigh’d her whole family earlier in the episode.
*Dorne – Water Gardens: S7 Predictions *
-If there’s one thing that’s guaranteed in S7, it’s that the Sand Snakes are doing down, hard. There’s only 13 epsidoes left, and there’s just not enough time for them. And everyone hates them. I bet they don’t even survive S7E1. Ellaria Sand (the leader) could live for a little while, but the other three are definitely going down: Tyene, Obara, and Nymeria. And if you’d think their alliance with Dany could save them? You’re wrong, because Tyrion is the Hand of the Queen, and they murdered his niece Myrcella in cold blood. Tyrion had great affection for Myrcella and Tommen. That’s a score that has to be settled.
Meereen
Meereen Part 1:
Dany and Daario breakup. Well, she basically ditches her sidepiece. Daario and the Second Sons will remain in Meereen to keep peace in the newly christened “Bay of Dragons”.
Meereen Part 2:
Dany makes Tyrion the Hand of the Queen. Somewhere Jorah is in a dark room applying calamine lotion from an industrial size container, very upset right now. That was totally supposed to be his gig. Tyrion just drops in towards the end of S5, and snatches it up. It’s a very nice moment between Tyrion and Dany. I’ll be skipping most of them, but there are a lot of great quotes to unpack here. It’s worth a second a watch. The whole episode is worth a second watch. If you only watched this episode once, what’s wrong with you!? Do you need to watch it 27 times like the Grizz? Perhaps not. But at least two viewings. “How about the fact that this is actually happening? You have your armies. You have your ships. You have your dragons. Everything you’ve ever wanted since you were old enough to want anything. It’s all yours for the taking. Are you afraid? You’re in the great game now.” Awesome. And really the only people who should be afraid, are the audience. Afraid that we’re about to get hit with some random peasant revolt that cancels the whole trip, and leaves Team Targaryen stuck in Meereen again. It’s a legitimate fear. She conquered Meereen 27 episodes ago. I counted it. It’s one city. And yet she’s supposed to conquer all of the seven kingdoms (nine regions), and destroy an army of the undead, in a span of 13 episodes!? But I’m sure glad she resolved that Meereen tax issue 20 sodes ago. That would have kept me up at night. Meereen Part 3: Team Targaryen sets sail! What a way to end the season! You see boats flying various sigils: the three headed dragon (Targaryen), the Sunspear (Martell), the Golden Rose (Tyrell), the silhouette of John Wayne Bobbitt (Varys and the Unsullied), and the Kracken (Greyjoy). Yep. That’s why you waited a year, for a 1993 penis joke. All of the boats are transporting the massive Unsullied and Dothraki armies. The dragons are splashing around. I got a question though. Can the dragons fly across the entire Narrow Sea without landing somewhere to rest? Like does each dragon have their own individual ship that’s sort of empty (besides a handful of crew members) that they can land and perch on? If so, what’s the weight capacity of those boats? The dragons weigh multiple tons at this point. Or are we led to believe that they can fly the whole distance across the ocean without stopping? Like 300-600 miles. Neither scenario seems all that plausible. Now that I kind of ruined that scene for you, didn’t I? Anyways, it’s a fun scene. And it’s a moment we’ve been waiting for since S1, so it feels earned.
Meereen: S7 Predictions
-That certainly felt like Daario’s last scene, right!? Not a bad way to go. In this show usually people DIE TRAGICALLY! Instead he’s got the Bay of Dragons, a small seasoned army (Second Sons), unlimited women, and he doesn’t have to worry about a horde of vengeful zombies bringing the Winter that never ends. Unless they have zombie boats … then he’s in trouble.
-Dany is like totes landing in Dragonstone. They made that pretty clear in the two trailers. And that’s the title of our first episode, S7E1: “Dragonstone”!!! I presume this will either be the opening or closing scene of the first episode. Her arriving at Westeros is going to be so GD cool. Dragonstone is where Daenerys was born. And this mirrors her ancestor Aegon the Conquerors invasion of Westeros. He also plotted and launched his attack from Dragonstone, and had three dragons. It’s perfect.
-Jorah the Andal. You guys ready for this? There has to be a reason Jorah is still alive, right? And there has to be a reason why Greyscale is a thing, right? What do we know about Greyscale? It’s HIGHLY contagious, and it flourishes in cold/damp environments. Here’s what I’m thinking. Jorah is going to sacrifice himself and go play touch football with a bunch of zombies North of the Wall. The zombies aren’t very smart, and they travel in packs. The greyscale will ravage the hordes of the undead. Of course Jorah will die in the process too. But I think that’s a possible “end game” scenario if the dragons fail. You hear what I’m saying? It’s a theory. Personally I don’t think the good guys are even going to win. Or if they do win, the losses will be so catastrophic that it doesn’t even feel like winning. The “W” is going to cost more than Jorah f’ing Mormont.
Beyond the Wall
Undead Unlce Benjen Stark drops the kids off in a spooky forest several miles north of the wall. AND THEN HE TAKES OFF WITH THE ONLY HORSE. > “Oh good, yea don’t worry about me Uncle Benjen, I’ll just crawl the rest of the way to the wall. I’m sure we’ll be fine.” The guy is DEAD, and he lives North of the Wall. Why is he in such a big hurry? What does he need to get back to? Is he dating an undead woman? (or an undead man … stay woke). What’s he gonna do, go home to his frozen little hut and binge watch the snow falling!? Is he hoping that the fidget spinner he ordered on Amazon Prime arrived!? What are you up to Benjen!? Speaking of binge watching, things were just getting good in the “Tower of Joy” drama Bran was watching back in S6E3, before the Three Eyed Raven shut it off. Then there was the whole business of all his friends getting slaughtered in S6E5. But now that he finally has a wifi (weirwood) signal, he can relax and finish watching it. “Don’t worry Meera, I’ll tell you what happens … probably … maybe … well some of this stuff is personal family business … just get ready to drag me alright!?” So Bran jumps right into the Tower of Joy - Part 2, and we see Ned rushing up the stairs to find his beloved sister Lyanna bleeding to death after childbirth. Unfortunately that was just the norm back then (actual medieval life and Westeros), like 1-3% of childbirths ended the mom’s life … Lyanna Stark (Jon’s birth), Joanna Lannister (Tyrion’s birth), Rhaella Targaryen (Daenerys’s birth), etc. Although this scene is brief, you can clearly see how close Ned and his younger sister Lyanna are. Not like Jaime and Cersei close, but close. “Promise me Ned.” Her dying wish is that Ned protects her son, JON TARGARYEN, from Ned’s best friend Robert, the King. Well, Jon is still a “bastard” technically, and his father is from the Crownlands, so theoretically his name is Jon Waters. At any rate, he’s half Targaryen and half Stark, HOW COOL IS THAT? That’s like the perfect Westeros DNA. That would be the equivalent of an American who’s half Beyonce, and half Dwayne the Rock Johnson. So Jon is THE PRINCE THAT WAS PROMISED … unless it’s Daenerys. Or it’s someone else altogether. Or the prophecy is a lie. Remember how the one blemish on Ned Stark’s resume was the fact that he had a bastard? Turns out he really was like the greatest and most honorable dude ever. There’s some really good Lyanna stuff in S1E1 & S1E2. I like this scene between Ned and his nephew Jon from S1E2 …
Ned:
There’s great honor serving in the Nights Watch, the Starks have manned the Wall for thousands of years, and you are a Stark, you may not have my name, but you have my blood.
Jon:
Is my mother alive? Does she know about me? Where I’m going? Where I am? Does she care?
Ned :
Next time we see each other, we’ll talk about your mother. I promise.
He’s told no one for like 18 years, and it’s just too tough. He didn’t even tell Catelyn! That’s how loyal Ned was to sister, and her secret. Do you know how many times Ned wanted to go grab a pint of ale in the Winterfell Great Hall after a long day of listening to supplicants, but there was Catelyn, dangling Jon over his head. She subtly chides him with, “Oh. Drinking? At this hour? Hopefully the serving girls still awake”… when they both know damn well that the serving girls are still awake. But it’s her way of saying “don’t go do something stupid like fooling around on me again!” Now Ned feels guilty and doesn’t even want the beer anymore … because he won’t enjoy it.
Beyond the Wall: S7 Predictions
-I suspect we’ll see Bran and Meera pass through the Wall in the S7 premiere. Chat it up with Dolores Edd. Lord Commander Edd? He’s the only character left at Castle Black with a speaking part, I think? Everyone else was killed, or is in Winterfell (where we last left off). The Night King touched Bran in S6E5 while Bran was surfing the weirwood web. The Night King hacked him like the Russians. And because the Night King touched Bran, the Night King was allowed to enter the TCF (tree cave fortress). It undid the magic spells protecting the TCF. So now the big question for S7 is, does Bran passing through the Wall allow the Night King to pass through it!? Does it undo the magic spells protecting the Wall!? Now the Grizz is 99% sure that GD Wall is coming down at some point in S7 … towards the end maybe, like E6 or E7. But I think it would be dumb if it’s somehow “Bran’s fault.” You know what I mean? In the book there’s like a long lost magical horn that can bring the Wall down, it’s called the “Horn of Joramun”, or the “Horn of Winter”, because even the horns have nicknames. The Grizz likes the horn better than Bran pulling a Steve Urkel “did I do that!?” and the Wall just comes crashing down. Oh, I suppose you think magic horns are dumb too? Well f**k you.
-Undead Uncle Ben, who cares? He was essentially an Uber driver from TCF to the Wall, for characters that matter. Three stars.
The Twins
Arya throat rips Walder Frey right after SHE FEEDS HIM TWO OF HIS SONS. “My name is Arya Stark. I want you to know that. The last thing you’re ever going to see is a Stark smiling down at you as you die”. Yikes. This kid needs some help. First she murders two people, then she carves off bite size chunks of their flesh, and then she finds a recipe for pot pie!? She had to like make the crust, cut up the vegetables, make the gravy, and then bake it for an hour or more. Just so she can feed this satanic concoction to her third victim!? That’s like next level crazy, she needs to be institutionalized.
The Twins: S7 Predictions
-Who succeeds Walder Frey could be a spinoff by itself. He has well over a hundred kin: sons, daughters, bastards, grandchildren, etc. There will be lots of backstabbing and scheming at The Twins for Walder’s chair. You could call it “Above the Frey”. I don’t know if it’s a drama or sitcom yet. Either way, we’re going to need some more sex appeal. The Freys aren’t exactly the comeliest bunch. You’d think we’d be done with this crew, in the actual show. But I’m pretty sure I saw some Frey casting news. -Arya is totally heading to Winterfell? Stark Family Reunion 2017!? Or rather 303 AC (After Conquest), whatever year they’re on. Or maybe she’s heading to Kings Landing to cap Cersei? It sure seems like Cersei and the Mountain are about the only two left on the shows version of her list. And those two seem like S8 level bad guys. I’m guessing she’s going to Winterfell. And she better find her GD direwolf Nymeria on the way! That could be very cool.
Season 7 Outline
Runtime: 59 minutes
Writer: David Benioff & D. B. Weiss
Director: Jeremy Podeswa
Runtime: 59 minutes
Writer: Bryan Cogman
Director: Mark Mylod
- S7E3: The Queen’s Justice
Runtime: 63 minutes
Writer: David Benioff & D. B. Weiss
Director: Mark Mylod
Runtime: 50 minutes ☹
Director: Matt Shakman (new guy)
Runtime: 59 minutes
Director: Matt Shakman (new guy)
Runtime: 71 minutes (new record)
Director: Alan Taylor ☺
Runtime: 81 minutes (smashes previous new record) ☺
Director: Jeremy Podeswa
Supplemental Reading: The Ringer has ranked the Top 60 episodes. They did a pretty good job, for the most part. http://thrones.theringer.com/ S1E2: “The Kingsroad” is embarrassingly low, but the list is mostly accurate. Check it out. Their GoT podcast “Binge Mode” is quite good too.
Final Thoughts
Well that got carried away, north of 6,000 words. Yikes. The Grizz is going to try and recap each episode in S7. I plan to have these done by Thursday morning at 7am. So you have Thursday and Friday to read them at work. I’m also going to try and keep them about half this length (3,000 words). It’ll be the same shtick as this recap, and previous seasons. I might try some new stuff along the way too. We’ll see. Here’s a new thing I’ve been meaning to try … send a comment if you have a specific topic you’d like The Grizz to riff on, or a GoT question that’s bugging you (not that I know everything, but I can research if needed), or even just feedback you might have for The Grizz. I’d like to have 1-2 interactive paragraphs each week, with all three of you reading this. Alright, that’s it!