I apologize this is a bit long I just desperately need to rant and need advice on what to do next about my pain. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in my teens.
Bottom line I’m in so so much pain. Crying myself to sleep kind of pain gasping when I move kind of pain. I was diagnosed in my teens and am currently in my 20s in college. I’ve spent more than 1/4 of my life sick and looking for treatment. I never got to experience adult freedom without being held back by pain.
I’m just wondering if all you kind people have any advice of where to go from here. Back to pain management to physical therapy to massage therapy?
For a little context I stopped seeing western medicine doctors about a year ago after being told by a pain management specialist that there was “no other medication or procedures we can try”. It hurt so so bad to hear that. To hear I just get to have a lifetime of pain. When I was a teenager I got very sick doctors didn’t believe me because what does a teenage girl know about her own health. I almost died while still being expected to go to high school.
I moved past that and worked so hard to make myself better. It doesn’t matter it hasn’t worked. I’m in college now studying a STEM major with plans for a masters and maybe PhD. I often feel like my career is sidelined by my pain and I’m terrified I will be fired constantly for not coming to work because of pain. I want to work I want to be normal I want to participate and be social and it feels like I am always one step behind my peers, often literally.
My degree requires lots of outdoor education, probably one of the worst majors I could have chosen for having chronic pain hahaha. But I love it and feel like it’s my calling.
Currently I feel like I’m at a crossroads. I don’t know wether to continue like I am now and just say screw it I’m going to be in pain or start the endless cycle of disappointment and medical gaslighting I’ve been subjected to for more than have a decade.
I have diagnosed CPTSD from severe childhood trauma and medical trauma so starting to see doctors again is a little terrifying for me. I’ve had some doctors say some really really horrible things and act in horrible ways. As a minor I was told that because I was fat no neurologist would ever believe me and I would never get treatment but that I was still pretty. (Yes a doctor actually said that) I was also physically violated by a doctor who deemed it necessary to do a “full” examination of me including under my pants while I begged for her to stop. It was so traumatic and I genuinely am not sure if it was sexual assault due to the amount of times I said no and the places she touched. I don’t know if this is normal or not, it occurred over a decade ago. Since then I’ve had doctors gaslight me, not care about me, medical offices who don’t respond because their elderly patients are much more important than me. People regularly telling me I’m too young to be in this much pain, yeah I wish.
As a conclusion (despite’s this post) I am a very optimistic person generally. I am happy in life and have a great support system and a very kind partner. I’m proud of myself and I’ve worked so so hard to get from where I was as a teenager to where I am now. I went through severe childhood abuse that caused me to have depression, anxiety, and CPTSD as stated earlier. Ive done my best to make my life have as much meaning and kindness in it as I can. But I just can’t do it anymore. I don’t want to die just for the pain to end. I don’t want to live the rest of my life like this.
Thank you for reading to the end. Please feel free to share and advice or stories of your own. ❤️

Hello everyone,
I have been thinking about pursuing a Master's in Art History because I wanted to work in a museum and art gallery. Most of the job postings at the said organizations requested the candidate to have a degree in Art History, etc., or years of experience in a similar field (and I have neither).
I would like to know from the perspective of people who have completed their bachelor's or master's in the subject, where did you land in your job sector or how the life has been after completing it?
Is this a good option to choose as a prospective study or career option?
Any tips would be of great help.
Thanks in advance :)

tl;dr
i F20 have been dating my boyfriend M24 for 2 years. it honestly still blows my mind that he is my boyfriend since he's an incredibly outstanding person career wise, and he helped me a lot on my career too. im insanely grateful for him, he makes me happy, but he doesn't connect with me on an emotional level. he is quite emotionless and used to blame me for being sad (not now). but i still rarely talk to him about my emotional problems, since i know he wouldnt react well and that would jusy make me more upset. he is also quite immature, still relies a lot on his parents, as he is focusing A LOT on his career which i am proud of. but ive always worried when he will start to get independent. but thats for the future. him and i are doing long distance now and i will move to his country to get my master's.
i also have this friend M21 who I have known for 3 years, but we weren't that close until 5 months ago when he asked me for some advice. we have been chatting a lot about life and the more i get to know him, the more i notice that he is an amazing person, and our viewpoints in life are exactly the same (no sex before marriage, we both want 2 kids, family before career etc.) i could talk to him about my emotional problems, and he would make me feel better in no time. he has so much attention to detail, which i never really got from my boyfriend, and hanging out with this friend made me realize how important attention to detail is, even the smallest things touched my heart: walking me to my bus stop, listening to me talk about the most random things and actually try to engage in my conversation....
no i don't think i am developing feelings for my friend and i still love my boyfriend a lot. but last night i just started spiraling into the question, would my life be a lot better if i dated my friend? i feel like an asshole for feeling like this too. don't know if anyone has the same experience.
p.s: i'm moving to my boyfriend's country to get my master's degree in 3 months, and i will be living with him and his parents in his house. if everything goes well i would like to stay in his country too.
What should I do with all these emotions?

I’m a native and current resident of Pune, India. When I decided to advance my career, I chose the Simplilearn Post Graduate Program (PGP) in Data Analytics. I felt like I had reached a saturation point in my career and was not seeing any potential for growth. I realized that my career had reached a plateau and that in order to grow, I needed to upskill.
With a master’s degree in physics and hopes of obtaining a Ph.D., my career path didn’t immediately lead me to the data analytics field. It wasn’t until financial constraints kept me from doctoral studies that I began considering how I could incorporate my interests in data analytics into my career.
Data science and data analytics were a backup in case I was not able to do my Ph.D. So, even when I joined ZocDoc, I joined on the condition that I would get to explore data analytics or SQL. I was able to get some hands-on experience there.
A determining factor for my choice to upskill with Simplilearn’s PGP in Data Analytics was the program’s close partnership with world-class leaders in higher education and technology. I read several Simplilearn reviews that highlighted the program's excellence and strong industry connections. There were so many other platforms on the table. But the course at Simplilearn was in collaboration with IBM and Purdue University, which ultimately influenced my decision.
In addition, the projects that students complete throughout the program—which include real-world data from businesses like Google, Walmart, and IBM—provided the hands-on experience I needed before entering a new field. Simplilearn reviews often mention how these practical projects are instrumental in gaining real-world skills.
Simplilearn’s career service support also helped me navigate career advances and changes with confidence. The Job Assist program helped me revise my resume so that I would be more prepared for interviews while looking for a job. During the interview, the questions that were asked had all been covered in the course. Everything that I needed for the interview was in the course LMS. Simplilearn reviews frequently commend the comprehensive support provided by the career services.
The new skills I added to my portfolio helped me break through career stagnation and secure a position where I enjoy my work and am able to excel. Simplilearn reviews consistently reflect the success stories of learners who have achieved similar breakthroughs.
While I believe that choosing the right platform is a crucial step to upskilling, I’d advise that taking ownership and initiative to learn something new is the first step to career success. If you're considering upskilling, check out Simplilearn reviews to see how others have benefited from their programs.

Hey! I study chemistry and have the option in second year to take a module outside of the school of chemistry. I've been thinking about taking a history module as I loved A level history, but am worried this would be a bad idea if I decided to apply for competitive masters courses (eg Oxbridge). If I made sure I had most of the 'suggested' content covered, would this be a bad idea??
Thanks!

M 25 autistic. Didn’t realize I was autistic until I was an adult. My entire childhood, I would randomly start crying (involuntarily) whenever I got the slightest bit nervous or irritated or whatever. I never knew what it was or why it happened. As a child I called it the “crying curse” and blamed God. (Never really believed in god, as a kid I found Santa Clause slightly less outlandish tbh, but still went to church and therefore still talked to god anyway). Naturally, making me cry became kind of a fun game for the other kids in my school growing up. I was tormented, didn’t get to have friends as a kid or anything. Elementary school was a nightmare, middle school was worse, by high school I was dead inside. Had spent so many years trying to control my emotions, that I basically became stone-faced 99% of the time, and even then it STILL didn’t help, my breakdowns would still happen. I was in so much pain every single day that it’s a miracle I didn’t hang myself off the satellite dish of my childhood home. Parents forced me to go to college, I get there and suddenly I’ve got a fresh start. The #1 thing I focused on was making sure my crying and meltdowns were always done in private and never in the presence of anyone else. Let me tell you, the way I noticed people LOOKING at me differently was the most mind-blowing thing in my life. These people didn’t KNOW who I was, didn’t KNOW about my issues, and the actual look in all their eyes was completely different than what I was used to. People were finally seeing me as a HUMAN, who was on the same level as them. That being said, there was still a massive social learning curve for me. So eventually everyone kinda realized I was a socially awkward dude. But I was still respected and people were actually nice to me during that freshman year. Eventually though, I got drunk and broke down in front of a group of friends, telling them about my “crying curse”, about how I couldn’t make friends until now, and about how I still, as a grown adult, can’t control my emotions. People tried to be empathetic, like genuinely tried, but I could tell that they immediately didn’t want to talk to me anymore. I gradually lost touch with all of them after that. Sophomore year came around and I ended up being pretty lonely for the rest of college. At one point, I went home for holidays and my dad was whining about some of his dumb normie non-problems (as NTs often do), but then I quit paying attention and the conversation hard-pivots into him mentioning offhanded “your mom and I used to debate whether or not you were autistic”. At first I kinda laughed it off and didn’t think much of it, cause as unselfaware as I was, the possibility of me being an autist never even OCCURRED to my dumb ass. But eventually the thought festered more and more into the back of my mind, and MY WHOLE LIFE started making sense. I ended up doing research, figuring out that my “crying curse” was actually called “autistic meltdowns”… which sounds like a joke but apparently it’s a real thing. They’re involuntary tantrums that occur due to an autist’s mind getting overstimilulated in social situations. I immediately understood that I had just been ratfucked by life. Dealt a shit hand. Given an enormous social handicap. And that kinda made me feel better? Cause for so long, I assumed that my little “episodes” were MY fault, due to my lack of ability to keep my emotional shit tight. Everyone around me, kids, teachers, even my own dumbfuck parents had always BLAMED me for my breakdowns growing up, told me I needed to “toughen up”, etc. So it felt good to know that it actually was some stupid bullshit beyond my control and not some fault of mine. But then I kept doing more research, and THIS is when I really started to take the blackpill. I found out that the average autist lifespan is only like 57 years or something like that. Found out lots are unable to get jobs or even live on their own. And found out only 5% of autistic men get married (having a wife or even a girlfriend was always a dream of mine). At that point, I gave up. I remember sitting in this dumbfuck sociology class (yeah, my major was sociology because my dumbass thought it’d help me learn to blend in with the normals). The teacher handed out this “quality of life” self-assessment test. I scored an 18 and was like ok whatever let’s get this class period over with. But then teacher says “most should have scores of above 40 on this. If your score is below 30 you might be depressed haha” or something to that effect. Then he had us raise our hands. Dude said “put your hand down if you scored over 40” most in class lower their hands “Now put your hand down if you scored over 30” literally everyone except me puts their hands down. Then the dude kept going lower and lower until eventually I finally put my hand down with everybody just kinda awkwardly looking at me. And let me tell you, in that moment, it all HIT ME LIKE A TON OF BRICKS. I realized just HOW depressed I was compared to everyone else. How miserable my life was. How everyone else just gets things by default that I never did. Envy of others has always been my greatest sin, but in that moment, there wasn’t even any of it left anymore. I was empty. Gone. Going through the motions. Just looking forward to the food I’d eat and the hours I’d get to sleep (although I’ve been plagued by horrifying nightmares my whole life so sleep was miserable too). I end up taking some random social work class as an elective at some point. Now, the thing you need to understand about the social work field is that it’s FULL of moral do-gooders who want to help people. Any normie would be annoyed by this crowd, because they’re all “woke SJWs” or whatever. But not me. Honestly… I kinda respected it. I’d resigned myself to the fact that my own life was going to be unbearable. So I figured… why not just focus on helping others? Then I can at least die with a smile on my face, having lived a life I could be proud of. So my dumb ass ends up declaring SOCIAL WORK as a minor. That on its own isn’t terrible, but then I graduate college & parents force me to go to grad school, so apparently my last 2 brain cells, while in the middle of hatefucking one another, come up with the absolutely ingenious plan of me, a literal autist, pursuing a MASTERS DEGREE in social work. Now, it’s important to understand that “autistic social worker” is essentially an oxymoron. Meaning I had essentially fucked myself over in the grandest way imaginable without even realizing it yet. So I get to this masters degree program, and I immediately realize I’m screwed. With 0 social skills, I stood NO CHANCE of getting this degree. But I couldn’t just drop out cause my parents wanted to have “successful” kids that they can brag to their friends about or whatever. (Parents were lawyers so their whole obsession is with being well-liked and “keeping up appearances”… you can imagine that having a miserable fuckup of a son like me made them absolutely furious lol). But I couldn’t quit school cause there’d be a non-zero chance they’d finally decide to just up and murder me, make it look like an accident, and finally pin all their hopes on my douchebag NT brother lmao. So I slog through this social work program, which is supposed to take 2 years to complete, but ended up taking me 4 years due to me just being a colossal titan fuckup in every way. Finally clenched this masters degree like a week and a half ago. But now I have to get a job, which is almost certain to end in disaster. It’s not like there’s any point in saving for retirement, I won’t even fucking live that long. I no longer break down crying anymore, but as I learned from my field internships, it’d still be a massive fucking stretch to call me socially competent enough for ANY job, much less a social work one. I’m going to get some bullshit social work job, completely eat it, and get fired for incompetence. I heard that government jobs are less likely to fire you, so I’ve been sending applications out to them, but if anything I feel like it’ll be even more embarrassing when I DO get fired. And I’ll have to explain to my parents that I’ve been lying to them for years, and that I’m not, in fact, some socially well-adjusted dude who’s “overcome” his childhood emotional issues like I’ve been tricking them into believing for so many years now. My life is an eldrich nightmare /b/ros, what do I do?????

reposting the following as i've had only one response over a few webstes. that probably indicates some info is missing, or it's hard to say, but i really need to know because preparing for and taking the GRE would take a month or more. (so, if you really can't say, saying that would also be helpful.)
again, my main interest would be something like comparative political economy, things like looking at international markets and relationships between industry and government. i may also specialise in something like IPE or the political economy of development, don't know yet, but i will have a good idea by the time i'd apply, i think.
i really don't want to do a masters, because from where i am i can't get into any good politics/political economy masters (at least at schools where serious research is done, which as i understand it is critical because i'll need letters from good people). doing a masters in international economics at a good school is my only alternative, but i don't know if it's necessary; i think i've signaled my ability to do research pretty well already.
"i would appreciate some pointers on whether it's a realistic possibility i'll get into any phd programs - it'd be very good to know because studying for the GRE would be a big time commitment. i am in economics but planning to make the switch to political science, probably something related to (international) political economy and comparative politics.
i have a 1,2 average in a 3-year quant-oriented econ degree (the grade basically corresponds to a first's in the UK system). i have A's in statistics, maths, and econometrics courses and i'll do some empirical work in my thesis. it's one of the best german universities although it's pretty unknown internationally. i have about a year of RA experience and one semester of TA. will get letters from my bosses (one of which is a pretty famous economist), and my thesis supervisor. i plan to take the GRE.
i was thinking about applying to the following schools. basically (top15) - (top5) [of course, i'll look into individual school fit with my interests, but that's sort of the range i'm interested in attending.]

• Emory
  
• UCSD
  
• Chicago
  
• Ohio State
  
• UW Madison
  
• NYU
  
• Cornell
  
• UNC Chapel Hill
  
• Duke
  
• Chicago
  
• UCLA
  
• Michigan
  
• Berkeley"
  

Hello! As the title says, I'm seriously considering a career as a pilot. I have a batchlors but I don't have a lot of passion with my current position in software development. I'm at a point in my life where flight school seems much more fulfilling then pursing a masters/advancing in my current field.
I have one concern however. When I was 18 (I'm 25 now) I received a DUI in Maryland and blew a .05. Maryland has a 0.0 tolerance policy for minors which is why I was charged DUI vs DWI. I plead not guilty with terms of completing required alcohol classes before my trial. So while I was found "not guilty", I was still technically charged with 6 months unsupervised probation. (Maryland is confusing with the way they sentance). I also can never get this expunged. Is this going to be an issue with my career if I pursue this path?
Also general curiosity, how are other charges taken into consideration? I'm sure felonies are mostly off the table, but what about instances of simple theft, third degree assult/DV, traffic violations, etc.

Communication is the foundation of our interactions that impact our relationship and personal growth. In my journey of improving my communication skills and how to be a good listener, I have experienced many lessons that helped me understand how to communicate effectively. Through the process of developing these skills, I began to understand the power of good communication and the nuances that make it successful. From learning prepositions of place to understanding comparative and superlative adjectives, from comparing and contrasting to classifying data, here are some of the important insights I have gained.
Prepositions of place play an important role in clarifying and defining the content in communication. Using the correct prepositions when describing physical locations, verbs, or relationships between locations can improve understanding and avoid ambiguity. It is particularly illuminating to learn to distinguish between “ in,” “ on,” and “at ” in relation to space. For example, knowing when to use “in” to refer to a nearby location, “on” to refer to a place, and “at” to refer to a specific place or location develops the precision of my descriptions, making communication more concise and effective Superlatives are important tools for expressing degrees of comparison and emphasizing differences or similarities.
My ability to share my observations and thoughts in detail and clarity has been improved by knowing how to make and use them. If you know how to use the words as a quality, quantity, or feature, it helps our communication to be more depth and strong while using comparative adjectives and superlatives. Regularly gaining knowledge and understanding the context in which each form is required has helped me improve my communication skills.
These techniques allow us to highlight similarities, differences, and relationship between concepts, thus providing deeper understanding and insights. In contrast, classification provides a means of organizing complex information into coherent categories; on the other hand, learning to compare can improve relationships as well as support.
Enhancement of my ability in connecting with others, understanding and confidence when speaking results from my applying these lessons. Furthermore, open communication ensures that messages are clearly understood while reducing misunderstandings and confusion about some issues raised. Being clear in art cultivates me to be brief in the expression of ideas and careful selection of words to convey meaning accurately. The power to communicate is unlocked by focusing on active listening skills development as well as cultural sensitivity helping us to become better communicators with other people. It is a journey of many facets, where one learns continuously and grows along the way.
I'm confident that I can keep going on this journey by using ideas about adjectives, comparing things, and different ways to show differences or similarities. When we use these lessons, we can get better at connecting with others, understanding each other, and reaching our goals through clear communication. Mastering the Power of Communication is a complex process. It begins with being aware of the nuances of good communication, which include both what you say and how you say it.

Hello ALL,
I am from bachelor of commerce background from 3-tier college my passing year is 2019. My cgpa is also decent. Now I wanted to pursue masters from aboard that too in the field of data science. My concern is that I wanted to pursue my masters from prestigous universities of US so for universities in US I should have my undergrad degree be in computer or engineering or statistics? Or if I do IITM Diploma courses then they can consider me or Should I enroll myself in some Post Graduate diploma in Information Technology?
Please guys help I really wanted to pursue Data Science Career please help.

My agent says studying to become a pastry chef after graduating from marketing degree is not going to work. Now i am going to apply for social work master course. Same school tier 1 country risk 2. What do you think? I am in Australia.

I am currently in an Engineering Simulation Software company, working on the semiconductor side of things. I am an Engineer, and I do not enjoy my job while I enjoy the pay and the benefits they offer.
I am looking for a job with the following options. 1. I am extroverted, and I need a job that is people facing. 2. I am interested in psychology, business, problem solving and strategy. 3. I need good pay, even as a beginner.
What field would you recommend to me? I am looking for a master's degree and a job.

An open letter to Benedictine College and Harrison Butker
I first came across the Harrison Butker’s 2025 commencement speech at Benedictine College on Twitter. It was a short snippet of the speech and I was in disbelief of what I heard. Intrigued, I went to YouTube to find a recording of the whole speech before drawing further conclusions. Now, I am nearly beyond words.
I grew up in the Catholic Church, attended a Catholic high school, and do still consider myself to be Catholic, although not without my own qualms with the church. However, this is not about that. I am also a more recent college graduate. I graduated from a large public university 5 years ago and am looking forward to obtaining my graduate degree next year, both degrees I have worked incredibly hard for and am immensely proud of. I don’t remember my own commencement speech, but if it was anything like this, I am glad I don’t- I loved my undergraduate experience and will be proud to have my diploma framed and hanging one day. Harrison Butker’s speech is condescending, out of touch, and against the very values of your school. You both, Benedictine College and Harrison Butker, owe these graduating students an apology.
As a proudly Catholic college, I do not hold issue you or your choice in speaker with promoting Catholicism and the beliefs of the Catholic Church, even in regard to politics; while I may not agree, that is your choice to do so and one that underlies the foundation of your school.
The class of 2025, as with many recent graduates and current students, have had to work through a unique set of hardships as a whole, beyond the personal hardships we all face. Mr. Butker is not a recent graduate, nor is he working directly with a school or university. College is a change for everyone from high school, with the course load, schedule, and independence, but beyond the nervousness and uncertainty that comes with this new phase, students are able to rely on the fact that since its inception, the college experience has been relatively stable, until the COVID-19 pandemic. Students, and faculty, were forced to rapidly adapt to a situation that we knew very little about and had no history to guide us. To minimize that, say that “it is not unique,” especially as someone who was not experiencing it from an educational aspect, is disrespectful to students and faculty, regardless of beliefs on the issue. Pandemics are not new, nor are controversial policies, but what these students faced, was new. I know of no other time during our history, where thousands of students were nearly overnight told to immediately leave their housing and worry about their finances and shelter as not everyone has the means to find new housing or go back to their parents, have food outside of the dinings halls, or access to a computer and internet to complete their coursework where they had planned on attending in person or using university resources, when these things are apart of what students pay thousands of dollars for or take loans to afford as part of their college expenses. Whether or not you support these policies and changes, that does not lessen the unique hardships faced or make a student wrong for adhering to them when failure to do so could result in greater consequences. If there is another time where this has happened, I am happy to be referred so that I can learn. It is one thing to say that the feelings of uncertainty and anxiety around new policies and adapting to them are not unique, but another to say that the challenges these students faced as a result of policy is not unique, it is disrespectful, condescending, and completely out of place as someone who did not experience it.
Beyond this, it is even more disrespectful to diminish the accomplishments of particularly the female graduates of your university by allowing your speaker to advocate forgoing using their degree and instead, choose being a wife and mother. To Benedictine College, if this is what your school advocates, then why charge tuition to your female students? How will they pay for it or pay off their loans for it? Do you expect your female graduates to marry a man who will pay off their debts? What happens if they don’t or if they choose a vocation in religious life, are their debts forgiven? To take it a step further, why admit female students at all if their degree is not meant to be used? A yearly tuition of $35,000 seems a greedy ask to attain what becomes a useless degree. Maybe this is not something you support, but I have yet to see any statement indicating dissent with this position. The Benedictine sisterhood and St. Scholastica, its founder, take pride in education and she herself do not choose the vocation of marriage. How would St. Scholastica be able to attend your college when she found her vocation to be in the religious life? To Harrison Butker, how dare you? I am happy for you and your family that your wife can be a homemaker if that’s what she wants to do, but that is completely out of touch for what nearly all of these students will face as they graduate. Your family can comfortably live on just your salary of over $4 million per year, but you are a minority in this situation. You speak of not allowing cost of living to prohibiting where you live, but with your salary, I’m sure there are few areas you cannot find suitable housing and access to food. Is one supposed to choose to live in circumstances where they do not have a stable shelter in favor of a more traditional priest? Earlier in your speech you mention “accepting your lane and staying in it,” I believe you should have taken your own advice, because your lane is far wealthier than mine and likely all of the graduates you are speaking to. Most families will need two salaries to live in even a fraction of the comfort you live and even then, may not be comfortable. From what I understand, you went to GT on a scholarship, another minority, factor in student loans, and the comfort fraction becomes even smaller. Should a family live in a constant state of worry about money so that a woman can be a homemaker? You spoke of charity and the platform God has given you, but I do not see you using your wealth for charitable acts to support the lifestyle you advocate in these graduates. You decide to speak for women and presume they are most excited at the prospect of marriage and children when you are speaking to congratulate them on a major accomplishment that has little to do with their future as a wife or mother. Can a woman not find fulfillment and a calling as a valuable member of the workforce and a wife and mother. As a woman who anticipates graduating from medical school in one year, is being a doctor not part of God’s plan for me? As I understand it, my vocation, is not between being a wife and mother or being a doctor, but of the calling to serve as a married, single, or religious person. You make it seem as though I cannot be both a doctor and family woman one day. You make remarks about controlling how and when children are conceived. You condemn IVF and surrogacy when a large portion of woman and men in this country struggle with infertility or health conditions making a pregnancy incredibly dangerous. If a woman cannot naturally have a child then is she not to be a mother? Do you also condemn adoption as it a choice and controlled method of becoming a parent? Is it only if a woman is unable to conceive naturally that it is acceptable to work rather than be a homemaker? I have always been taught in my experience with the Catholic Church to welcome children into your life whenever they come about, not as a barrier to being a working mom. You have laid out the options as black or white, mother or worker, when I believe the advice is to be open to and welcome God’s plan for you in both areas of your life. Not only do you advocate for the females graduates to forgo the workforce when this is an unrealistic path for most, but in doing so, you add extra pressure to the male graduates to provide in an unrealistic way. At what cost do men take higher paying jobs they are unhappy in so that their wives can be homemakers? You have worked hard to get to where you are, say you are doing something you love, and are able to show the fruits of that labor, should these graduates not show all of the knowledge and skills they have gained through earning their degree?
To Harrison Butker, I, too, am Catholic. I believe we also are similar in that we question right from wrong and do not just blindly accept the things that are fed to us. You say that our priests and bishops are anointed by God, but quickly question that anointing. I now question you, in who you are to question who has been anointed by God. You point out it is your duty as a father to lead your son. In our faith, we call our priests Father, but you call us to question and right them, should they not lead us? Should we not follow the quote you use of trusting our priests to translate the teachings of the Bible for us? Does your son question you and what is your response? You call for priests and bishops to be righted but also to stay in our lane. I do not mean to support the actions of our church leaders either way, but as an individual am not following what you ask of these graduates.
To Harrison Butker, you say you speak from experience, but it seems your experiences are vastly different than most of the graduates you speak to. Your statements contradict one another, in questioning our church leaders, staying in our lane, and even speaking of your wife as someone who converted to Catholicism but later question being with someone of a different faith, not allowing for change. As I have stated before, it is one thing to speak of shared feelings, but another to speak of a shared experience. You give advice in black or white rather than ideas for consideration and reflection. Listening to your commencement speech, I can’t imagine I would have found excitement for the future and wisdom as I start to move forward on my own. Had this been my speech to give, I couldn’t speak to a lot of the challenges these students faced, but can empathize with the fears of stepping out of the student life and uncertainty about my future. I could speak to how being able to adapt to challenges, facing hardship in my own way has made me strong and able to persevere and that they too have grown to be stronger and able to persevere too, even if they are not confident. I could speak to how money is not always the most important thing in life, your church, your family, your community are all things to reflect on when making decisions about the future. But, this was not my speech, it was yours. My ideas may not be right, maybe it has more “fluff” than yours, but they do not tell me the right or wrong way to live my life, as that is between me and God.
To Benedictine College, much of this is address to Harrison Butker. However, this is the person you chose and supported in giving a commencement speech. What is address to him, is also a reflection of what you support and believe, and the message you hope to send your graduates off with. I am not one of your graduates, happy to say I am not with this speech, but at least for me, this is the representation I have of your school.
To Benedictine College and Harrison Butker, you both owe the graduates an apology for these disrespectful and confusing sentiments as they enter a new and stressful chapter of their lives.
To the Benedictine College class of 2025, congratulations!

I am currently in an Engineering Simulation Software company, working on the semiconductor side of things. I am an Engineer, and I do not enjoy my job while I enjoy the pay and the benefits they offer.
I am looking for a job with the following options. 1. I am extroverted, and I need a job that is people facing. 2. I am interested in psychology, business, problem solving and strategy. 3. I need good pay, even as a beginner.
What field would you recommend to me? I am looking for a master's degree and a job.

First time reader of Wolfe and I'm having an amazing time working my way through shadow and claw. I had to read this chapter a couple times to try and grasp it; it's extremely dense. I'm still finishing Claw of the Concilliator so my thoughts may change. I'd love to hear your thoughts.
The Tale of the Student and His Son Analysis
“Once, upon the margin of the unpastured sea, there stood a city of pale towers.”

• The unpastured sea evokes Hamlet “the undiscovered country” death and the unconscious. Pale refers obviously to a light color but also feebleness. However, a tower symbolizes wisdom and stability and the balance of forces (light and dark, fire and water, order and chaos). Wolfe is already painting this city in contradiction.

“In it dwelt the wise. Now that city had both law and curse.”

• Another symbol of duality: loss and gain. The wise give the law but simultaneously curse the city.

“The law was this: That for all who dwelt there, life held but two paths: they might rise among the wise and walk clad with hoods of myriad colors, or they must leave the city and go into the friendless world.”

• Here’s another contradiction: the wise wear myriad colors symbolizing their acceptance of all, but their law is built on exclusion, a brotherhood without.

“Now one there was who had studied long all the magic known in the city, which was most of the magic known in the world”

• The magicians study pan (all). They are comparative mythologists, occultists, Jungians, etc. (This, ironically, is Wolfe). Pan in Greek mythology is a cloven foot and horned god that plays the “pan flute”, and is associated with nature and sex. He is often accompanied by nymphs.

“And he grew near the time at which he must choose a path. In high summer, when flowers with yellow and careless heads thrust even from the dark walls overlooking the sea.”

• High summer is a reference to the “dog days” of summer. In ancient Greece, this was the hottest and most uncomfortable part of summer. It’s called the “dog days” because it coincides with the heliacal rising of Sirius in the constellation Canis Major. Furthermore, the Greeks believed the luminous Sirius (from seiros: scorching) caused the extra hot days. I mention this because it relates to the alzabo which in the Lexicon Urthus is from the archaic Arabic “al-dhi’b” which refers to a wolf, a jackal, or a star in Canis Major.

“How may I - even I who know nothing - have a place among the wise of the city? For I wish to study spells that are not sacred all my days, and not go into the friendless world to dig and carry for bread”

• Another paradoxical and ironic statement: he’s been studying all his life, but knows nothing. A Socratic kind of wisdom but also represents spiraling madness. Critically, he wants to study non-sacred spells; he turns away from the divine.

“ Do you recall how, when you were hardly more than a boy, I taught you the art by which we flesh sons from dream stuff? How skillful you were in these days, surpassing all the others! Go now, and flesh such a son, and I will show it to the hooded ones, and you will be as we.”

• Groomer! And if Wolfe is trying to evoke ancient Greece with this story, it’s well-founded that older Athenian men would often indulge their passion for youth. This would explain the use of the carnal word “flesh” to describe the creative process. Sex magic is a common occult practice and is certainly non-sacred. The passing of seasons represents the cyclical nature of trauma and abuse.
• Wolfe uses very unsettling language: “And the old man who had taught him thought of the beauty of the trees that had for so many years delighted his eyes like the white limbs of women.”

“Winter came stalking into the land from his frozen capital, where the sun rolls along the edge of the world like a trumpery gilded ball and the fires that flow between the stars and Urth kindle the sky. His touch turned the waves to steel, and the city of the magicians welcomed him, hanging banners of ice from its balconies and heaping its roofs with glaces of snow.”

• Perhaps a reference to Saturnalia but does not follow the ancient Greece theme. Saturnalia occurred near the winter solstice because the sun enters Capricorn, the astrological house of Saturn, at that time. Capricorn fits in with the Pan imagery as it too is a goat-like being.
• Saturn represents the cyclical course of time and season (Greek equivalent Chronos). Saturn would regularly devour his own children; this fits into the aforementioned cycle of trauma.
• Saturn is often represented with a sickle: a symbol of mankind’s partial control over the natural world.

“In spring, the most beautiful maidens of the city, the daughters of the magicians, were clothed in green; and while the soft winds of spring teased their golden hair, they walked unshod through the portal of the city, and down the narrow path that led to the quay, and boarded the black-sailed ship that waited them. And because of their golden hair, and their gowns of green faille, and because it seemed to the magicians that they were reaped like grain, they were called Corn Maidens.”

• Here the sickle imagery is introduced directly. The Corn Maidens are human sacrifices, but are compared to grain and corn; sent into the “unpastured sea.”

“Looking from his window saw the maidens filing by, he set aside all his books and began to draw such figures as no man had ever seen, and to write in many languages, as his master had taught him aforetime.”

• Is this not what Wolfe does in his writing? He constantly appropriates ancient words from forgotten languages to do his “magic.”

“ At first it seemed to him that all the skill his master had taught him of old had deserted him, for from the first light to the moonlight he was alone in his chambers save for the moth that fluttered sometimes to show the insignia of Death at his undaunted candle flame.

• More meta stuff: writer's block
• A moth showing the insignia of death is an interesting comparison. This moth could be interpreted as the final stage of metamorphosis before death. It could also refer to the Bombyx Mori, the silk moth. Mori in this sense means mulberry, but mori can also mean death (as in memento mori). The silkworm has a similar symbology to the scythe in that it represents man’s control of nature. This is the domesticated version of the silkworm that relies completely on humans for its survival and is genetically modified to promote silk production. This reflects the city’s practice of human farming and sacrifice.

“Then there crept into his dreams another; and he, knowing who that other was, welcomed him, though the dreams were fleeting and soon forgotten.”

• The Irony here is that although he works tirelessly practicing his magic, he only summons the being when he is not working, asleep and unconscious. He welcomes this being into his mind. “He heard the step, always in another room” He’s unable to pinpoint this being’s being; he can only pinpoint its secondary effects. As he continues his magic, the aftereffects become increasingly pronounced until finally the illusory becomes real. Milton describes hell as “darkness visible.” I think Wolfe is going for a similar effect here.

“Then the student dared turn himself where he sat, and he saw standing before him a youth haughty of port, wide of shoulder, and mighty of thew. Command was in his firm mouth, knowing wit in his bright eyes, and courage in all his face. Upon his brow sat that crown that is invisible to every eye, but can be seen even by the blind; the crown beyond price that draws brave men to a paladin, and makes weak men brave.

• The student’s creation terrifies him, but he doesn’t want to show his fear.
• “Haughty of port” meaning prideful with an air of superiority. Going back to Milton: “round he (Satan) throws his baleful eyes, that witnessed huge affliction and dismay, mixed with obdurate pride and steadfast hate.” Classic Luciferian pride.
• Contrary to popular depictions of Satan, he is one of God’s highest creations: “Whoever he is, the “Devil” is among the very first and best creatures of God. He is, so to speak, perfect enough, wise enough, powerful enough, one can almost say divine enough, to know God and not to surrender to him - to know him and yet opt against him, to desire freedom from him. But since this freedom is impossible in the love and light which always lead to God and to a free surrender to him, it must of necessity be fulfilled in negation, hatred, and rebellion.” (Alexander Schmemann). Satan is God’s highest creation but he is the most base, he is wise yet chooses irrationality, in Wolfe’s description he wears the invisible crown that all see. Satan is an ironic, paradoxical, and tragic figure.
• Milton also describes Satan as a commander

“Often I have seen, like a green serpent called by the notes of a pipe, a column of green slip down the cliff below our city to the quay.”

• Again Wolfe uses Miltonian imagery: “Thus they Breathing united force with fixed thought moved on in silence to soft pipes that charmed Their painful steps O’er the burnt soil.” Both descriptions suggest a snake charmer playing his pipes.
• This connects Satan and Pan: pan pipes as well as ostensible concern for his nymphs

“At this the young man’s eye flashed, and he demanded: ‘Who is this ogre, and what form has he, and where does he dwell?’”

• The ogre is the beast and the minotaur that lives in the west. The West is another symbol of death and the unconscious.

“His name no man knows, for no man can approach near enough…His harbor is an isle to the west, where a channel with many a twist and bend, dividing and redividing, reaches far inland. It is on the isle, so my lore teaches me, that the Corn Maidens are made to dwell; and there he rides at anchor in the midst of them, turning his eye ever to left and right to watch them in their despair.”

• Does no man know its name because no one has discovered it or because it doesn’t exist? Or are both the same?
• Eye of Sauron reference. Masonic all-seeing eye which masons say represents the omnipresence and omniscience of God, but, in reality, represents an all-powerful control system that constrains mankind. When Severian first goes against his guild he says of his fellow torturers: “ I saw them as powerful, the active principle of an inimical and nearly perfect machine.” Severian first realizes that Nessus is a vast control mechanism; the torturers are a gear in the infernal machine.
  
• The beast lies in the labyrinth. The twisting and bending channels describe a labyrinthine structure without directly calling it a labyrinth. When Domnina first observes Father Inire’s mirrors: “She ran to the curtains hoping to find another door behind them, but as soon as she pulled one aside, one of the eight walls painted with labyrinths opened and Father Inire stepped out. Behind him she saw what she called a bottomless hole filled with light.” Wolfe is trying to show that the beast, the control mechanism, is tied to these mirrors.
  
• The young man fleshed from dreams relates to the fish fleshed from reflected light in Father Inire’s mirrors. They are both paradoxical creations; how can one create reality from the virtual (dream stuff and mere reflections)? The fish is clearly a reference to Christ and the ichthys; Domnina even references Pascha. But this Christ is a virtual Christ, an antichrist. In Revelation, the Antichrist is depicted as the ape of Christ, but ultimately the Antichrist is a mere illusionist: “And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie” (Thessalonians 2:11).
  

“For I am Noctua, the daughter of Night, and the daughter too of him whom you have come to slay…For though he did not know why, being of the stuff of dreams he was drawn to her; and she, who eyes held starlight, to him…At this the princess took pity on him, for all who have the stuff of dreams about them seem fair in some degree at least to the daughters of the night, and he fairest of all.

• Noctua means owl from Latin nox meaning night (and she is quite literally from her mother Nox). Nox is an important aspect of Thelema or the occult practices of Aleister Crowley. Nox is the formula of the night of pan, the “crossing of the abyss” and the union with “our lady of abominations” Babalon (from Revelations the whore of Babylon). In Nox, the adept experiences unification with the All through ecstatic destruction of the ego-self, dissolving duality into one or, in other words, nonsense. Ego death is a core element of mind control (MK Ultra and Project Monarch** remember the silkworm symbol).
• It’s clear from this passage and later passages that many others have been sent on this mission in the past. However, Noctua feels a particular affection for this commander.

“At length Night came, and they saw her striding from islet to islet with her bats about her shoulders and her dire wolves dogging her steps. No more than an easy carronade shot from their anchorage she seemed, yet they all observed that she passed not before Hesperus or even Sirius; but they before her. For a moment only she turned her face toward them, and none could be certain what her look conveyed. But all of them wondered if indeed the ogre had taken her without her will as her daughter had said; and if so, if she had not lost the resentment she might be imagined to have felt.”

• Hesperus represents Venus the morning star in Latin Lucifer or light bringer. As Russell puts it, the evening star is the morning star; it represents the drama of a hero striving for the highest seat of heaven but being cast out of heaven (matches the movement of Venus in the sky). Another connection to Sirius.
• Another suggestion that perhaps this quest is not as it seems.

“In ancient times, so it is said, a tattered child, the daughter of a fisherman, found on the sand a stoppered flask, and by breaking the seal and drawing forth the cork became queen from ice to ice. Just so it seemed, an elemental being, strong with the strength of the forging of creation, debouched from the tall smokestacks of their ship, tumbling over himself in dark joy and growing with a rush, as the wind comes.”

• This could be a Pandora’s box reference, critically Pandora. Another dualistic notion, that what saves the day also causes doom. Or perhaps Odysseus’ bag of winds; the aid turns into the curse. Fits into the overall narrative of the story that Severian is both a torturer and a hero. He is “severed” and “severs” into two. Dorcas: “All of you are torturers, one way or another.”

“Then he strode to the rail and looked down; but with such an expression that no one, not even the most brave, dared to look at him. When he lifted his eyes at last, his face was set and grim and with no word to any man he took himself to his cabin and barred the door.”

• Obviously despondent. Either about the evil he released into the world or that his great battle was with a phantasm or that the whole quest was a lie.

“But on the morning of the third day, the young man fleshed from dreams came out of his cabin and began to walk up and down the deck as he was wont to do”

• Allusion to the resurrection of Jesus on the third day. His cabin serves as his “tomb.”

“At this he looked up into the very vault of the firmament. And some thought he prayed, and some that he sought to restrain the anger he felt against them, and some only that he hoped to gain inspiration there. But so long did he stare that they waxed afraid, even as they had when he had peered into the water, and one or two began to creep away. Then he said to them: “Behold! Do you not see the sea birds? From every corner of the sky they stream. Follow them.”

• He’s come back from the dead but is filled with anger.

“None of them ever forgot that night”

• Nothing like an orgy after a long day of work.

“Certain of the Corn Maidens wed those princes who, having spent years so long enchanted that they are loath to leave that life (and have in that time learned much of gramary), build palaces on lily pads and are seldom seen by men.”

• They go out to become demonic forces in the world. Lily pads are a call back to Chapter 2 of shadow: “When I think of my own death, or of the death of someone who has been kind to me, or even of the death of the sun, the image that comes to my mind is that of the nenuphar, with its glossy, pale leaves and azure flower.” The nenuphar exists above and below the water; they exist in two worlds just as their journey took them from the east to the west.

“And when he beheld their dark sails, smutted by the burning tar that had blinded their enemy, he believed them blackened in mourning for the young man, and he threw himself down, and so perished. For no man lives long when his dreams are dead.”

• Absurd ending to the story. You can't help but laugh at the ending. Jonas even suggests that the end of the story has been edited.
• IMO, he kills himself because the “hero’s” journey was never meant to be a success. The hooded ones need the ogre to have the utopia.

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyY
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I am a Colombian architect about to finish a master's degree in critical urbanism from the University of Basel. I would like to know, non-eu architects from this community, if they have found work easily, in which areas especially, (design, construction)? Has German been a limitation? What software/skills are they looking for? In general, all the advices you can share please.

I’m an Electrical Engineer and I just got my master’s degree in Engineering Sciences, which involved doing research on Optical Communications. I’m 26 and have no job experience, and while I have been trying to get a job in the US it hasn’t been going well for me. One of the reasons, I believe, has to do with not being “legally allowed to work in the US without sponsorship”. This is why I’m considering applying for the EB-2 NIW so that I don’t require sponsorship, and I believe I might have a case. But since I don’t want to waste so much money applying for it if I’m not going to get it, I would like some feedback on if I meet the required 3/6 points to be considered.

1. I can show I possess a degree. This one is easy
   
2. A license or certification. I don’t know about getting a license as an engineer, but in my country I can get an official certification as an “authorized installer or inspector” of electrical installations. Would this count, or would it be too far from my exceptional ability, which I would consider my expertise in Optical Communications?
   
3. Membership in a professional association. Would membership of a collegiate body, the “College of Engineers”, work?
   
4. Evidence of salary or other remuneration for services that demonstrate my exceptional ability. I’m about to start a PhD and I’ll be working as Research Assistant in research on Optical Communications (my “exceptional ability”). For this work I’ll be receiving a stipend every month. Would this count as evidence? I also got payed a “scholarship” every month for the research I did during my master’s. I didn’t have an official title like research assistant, but I still got money every month. Could this also count?
   

I apologize this is a bit long I just desperately need to rant and need advice on what to do next about my pain. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in my teens.
Bottom line I’m in so so much pain. Crying myself to sleep kind of pain gasping when I move kind of pain. I was diagnosed in my teens and am currently in my 20s in college. I’ve spent more than 1/4 of my life sick and looking for treatment. I never got to experience adult freedom without being held back by pain.
I’m just wondering if all you kind people have any advice of where to go from here. Back to pain management to physical therapy to massage therapy?
For a little context I stopped seeing western medicine doctors about a year ago after being told by a pain management specialist that there was “no other medication or procedures we can try”. It hurt so so bad to hear that. To hear I just get to have a lifetime of pain. When I was a teenager I got very sick doctors didn’t believe me because what does a teenage girl know about her own health. I almost died while still being expected to go to high school.
I moved past that and worked so hard to make myself better. It doesn’t matter it hasn’t worked. I’m in college now studying a STEM major with plans for a masters and maybe PhD. I often feel like my career is sidelined by my pain and I’m terrified I will be fired constantly for not coming to work because of pain. I want to work I want to be normal I want to participate and be social and it feels like I am always one step behind my peers, often literally.
My degree requires lots of outdoor education, probably one of the worst majors I could have chosen for having chronic pain hahaha. But I love it and feel like it’s my calling.
Currently I feel like I’m at a crossroads. I don’t know wether to continue like I am now and just say screw it I’m going to be in pain or start the endless cycle of disappointment and medical gaslighting I’ve been subjected to for more than have a decade.
I have diagnosed CPTSD from severe childhood trauma and medical trauma so starting to see doctors again is a little terrifying for me. I’ve had some doctors say some really really horrible things and act in horrible ways. As a minor I was told that because I was fat no neurologist would ever believe me and I would never get treatment but that I was still pretty. (Yes a doctor actually said that) I was also physically violated by a doctor who deemed it necessary to do a “full” examination of me including under my pants while I begged for her to stop. It was so traumatic and I genuinely am not sure if it was sexual assault due to the amount of times I said no and the places she touched. I don’t know if this is normal or not, it occurred over a decade ago. Since then I’ve had doctors gaslight me, not care about me, medical offices who don’t respond because their elderly patients are much more important than me. People regularly telling me I’m too young to be in this much pain, yeah I wish.
As a conclusion (despite’s this post) I am a very optimistic person generally. I am happy in life and have a great support system and a very kind partner. I’m proud of myself and I’ve worked so so hard to get from where I was as a teenager to where I am now. I went through severe childhood abuse that caused me to have depression, anxiety, and CPTSD as stated earlier. Ive done my best to make my life have as much meaning and kindness in it as I can. But I just can’t do it anymore. I don’t want to die just for the pain to end. I don’t want to live the rest of my life like this.
Thank you for reading to the end. Please feel free to share and advice or stories of your own. ❤️

I’m currently finishing my junior year in Electrical Engineering at a state school (not a great one and most of the professors are mediocre) and I have the chance to start my masters during my senior year which would allow me to finish it 1 year earlier than probably anywhere else. I’m debating wether I should stick with that track, or finish my bachelor’s and go to a much better school; and if I do take that second route, are my chances any good at getting into a great school.
For some background, about a decade ago I went to college, majored in biology, and it did not go well. I wasted a lot time. I then joined the Navy for 6 years and worked as a nuclear tech on a sub. Shortly after I got out of the military, I got an awesome opportunity to work as a long term Product Development Engineer Intern at Intel while getting my degree. I was incredibly scared as my first day of school and and my first day as an intern were the same and I didn’t know if I could even manage it. By some miracle (or just the absolute fear that I’m going to be a failure) I’m at year 2 now, the internship is going great, I love the work and the people (for the most part), I have a 3.92 gpa (since I’ve been back in school and taking no summer course breaks) while averaging 40-50 hrs per week at work (with a solid list of projects under my belt), and for about half of those 2 years I was also a reservist in the Navy. However, given that I screwed the pooch so badly my first time in college, my cumulative gps as of right now is a 2.9.
With that in mind, would it be worth trying to go for a better school? Do I have a shot? Is getting the masters here, which I’m guaranteed to get into, a solid path, or could I been doing more?

I’m currently finishing my junior year in Electrical Engineering at a state school (not a great one and most of the professors are mediocre) and I have the chance to start my masters during my senior year which would allow me to finish it 1 year earlier than probably anywhere else. I’m debating wether I should stick with that track, or finish my bachelor’s and go to a much better school; and if I do take that second route, are my chances any good at getting into a great school.
For some background, about a decade ago I went to college, majored in biology, and it did not go well. I wasted a lot time. I then joined the Navy for 6 years and worked as a nuclear tech on a sub. Shortly after I got out of the military, I got an awesome opportunity to work as a long term Product Development Engineer Intern at Intel while getting my degree. I was incredibly scared as my first day of school and and my first day as an intern were the same and I didn’t know if I could even manage it. By some miracle (or just the absolute fear that I’m going to be a failure) I’m at year 2 now, the internship is going great, I love the work and the people (for the most part), I have a 3.92 gpa (since I’ve been back in school and taking no summer course breaks) while averaging 40-50 hrs per week at work (with a solid list of projects under my belt), and for about half of those 2 years I was also a reservist in the Navy. However, given that I screwed the pooch so badly my first time in college, my cumulative gps as of right now is a 2.9.
With that in mind, would it be worth trying to go for a better school? Do I have a shot? Is getting the masters here, which I’m guaranteed to get into, a solid path, or could I been doing more?

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