The computer science job market is fierce right now! Everyone's getting laid off and people are blasting out thousands of resumes to snag a job.
Prove your worth. Prove you are a go getter with skills. Go ransomware one of those companies you want to work for. Show them you are better than the cyber security they already have. You'll unlock their computers for a totally remote job, unlimited PTO, and a 10% 401k match.

We've tried doing a slow introduction for our cats over the period of 3 almost 4 months but I don't think I can't stand it any longer.
Because the new cat is EXTREMELY INTENT on being with my resident cat on the other side of the barriers it's making navigating my one bedroom apartment extremely difficult he'll scale the mesh divider if anyone leaves an opening and put himself physically in-between the door and mesh so he can get in the room with the residents or tear it up from the carpet floor so he can get under it. We've tried letting them in a room together with distractions like toys treats but he's simply EXTREMELY unhinged and overstimulated even when he plays enough before them meeting it just doesn't work.
(He'll run up to our resident very quickly or sit just out of range or follow them very closely the new cat also tried randomly attacking the resident we tried introducing one time?) ending in almost good but a fight, now it's just fights though.
If I just leave the door open with the mesh barrier closed to see the new cat will get frustrated it can't get to the other cats and attack whoever has to go through the door instead.
I'm desperate I've tried Feliway, I've tried playing, I've tried catnip, Ive site swapped, there's 4 cat boxes ones XL, plenty of water and food bowls, I have 3 cat trees linked to wall shelves with a small cat highway where they can get away one on each side of the room.
The cat is just to aggressively hype curious off rip and can also be really unpredictable clear bill of health btw for everyone across the board. I have sensory issues so this situation like cats fighting and him randomly getting frustrated with us really upsets/ makes me break down in a panic attack/ crying.
I'm thinking giving him back and starting over with my current cats is the best solution. Or Should I just let them fight it out and see what happens?? Idk I can't mentally handle the sounds from that it makes me cry seeing any of my cats possibly hurt.
Maybe it sounds selfish to give up but they say it can take up to a year and my house is one bedroom I can't function in my own home without help from my boyfriend because the cat has literally no chill at any point and I just can't take it anymore.
PLEASE BE NICE, I just wanted my cats to be happy again since they were missing a friend I wasn't trying to be irresponsible. PSA also to anyone who says get your cat a friend it's the worst advice ever when you don't understand the circumstances at all.
Idk if you have any helpful suggestions let me know I feel like I've really tried all the Jackson galaxy options and advice from forums.

NSFW Warning
I truly don't know what to do anymore, I'm completely lost.
I'm a 20 year old male with autism and possible OCD.
There are many things I want to talk about so this is going to be really long and unorganised.
From age 18 up until last year, I viewed and masturbated to CSAM, and the way I went about getting hold of it is equally bad, if not worse. I cannot express in words the shame and remorse I feel for this.
I know most of you hate me now and I don't blame you, and I guarantee you I hate myself more for it.
The most confusing part about it is I don't find children attractive, there's no groinal response, urges, desires, arousal, nothing. I don't even take a second glance or stare, the only thing I have is intrusive thoughts. Recently I was sat in the corner of a crowded bus, and since there was nowhere else to sit, three boys, none of which could have been older than 13 sat by me, one next to me, and the other two across from me, to which I felt nothing of that nature whatsoever.
My instincts when I've been around children in recent times is purely parental and protective.
I'd never hurt a child, especially in that way, I'd slit my wrists or set myself on fire before I did that, I might just slit my wrists anyway.
I'd run into a burning building, I'd run out onto a busy road, I'd give my life to save a child's life.
I don't go out of my way to be around children, I find them for the most part irritating, I don't hate them though. Throughout my entire life I preferred the company of adults. I even live across from a playground ffs.
I'm scarred for life by some of the things I saw in those images and videos, how the hell could someone do something like that?! I want to climb through the screen and protect those kids, give them a hug and let them know nothing can hurt them anymore.
I stumbled across an image hosting site when I was 16 whilst trying to find material involving my peers again, and the site hosted lots of cropped images of teens on webcams and older kids on webcams (it was obvious what they were doing), and on the page for the accounts, it usually displayed an email where stuff could be traded, but I didn't pursue that until 2 years later.
I went about acquiring it through sending old images and videos of myself, and in a lot worse way as well.
Starting from 14 up until last year, I very occasionally placed my phone in the bathroom and filmed my friends urinating, this happened definitely less than ten times, and most of them I deleted from everywhere, but I kept one and a screenshot of a few others, I started posting these images, as well as my own nudes, on an old reddit account which was deleted not long after, I made sure to hide their identities while doing this, I enjoyed the attention and compliments I would get, and I loved bigging up my friends and seeing them get compliments.
Then I used this content to acquire the bad stuff years later, including the stuff of me.
I had an Idea that this was considered wrong but I didn't understand how it could have been harmful.
This happened to less than 5 friends, all the content I had I have long since deleted and wiped any access to, and I have no intention to do this again, but the main issue is the fact that copies could have been made of it, and I accidentally sent the uncropped video once. There's the possibility none of this stuff is out there, but it's still vile and repulsive.
One of them was my closest friend, who I had known basically all my life, I broke down to him and told him what I had done and what I believe does me to this awful, reprehensible place, and you know what he did? He told me he forgave me and that some video possibly being out there doesn't phase him and his life isn't ruined at all and it will go on either way.
But he understandably said we can't see each other anymore, that he still loves me, believes I'm a good person and wants me to live a good life and make the world a better place, which was a dream of ours.
It's extra difficult because we were so close, we had experienced so much together, held all the same interests and beliefs, and I loved him only like family could, so the fact I committed this vile act of betrayal rids me with so much shame, and deservedly so. In a way I find it harder to get through because I didn't understand the true consequences of my actions and how this could have affected him and others, it would be less confusing and easier to accept I'm just the lowest form of humanity that way.
I displayed other problematic behaviours from a young age, all to do with boundary issues, I sometimes used to touch my friends when I was 12 but never their actual genitals, and I used to jokingly show my erection to people as well.
The only constant that I knew for certain is wrong is genuine rape and molestation, which is a line I know for certain I could never cross, and never will.
From a very young age (around 3 or 4) my mother would do very inappropriate party tricks around me with her friends late at night when they were drinking, her friends would call me sexy, and as I got older and hit puberty, she started making comments about my bulge and other things despite the fact I hated it and told her so.
When I was 7 I was groomed and molested by an 8 year old boy, I wanted him to help me pass a level on my DS game and he said he'll do it if I have sex with him, me being 7 I didn't understand what that was and with him being older I complied. We were naked during this, he fondled my genitals and got me to do the same to him, he inserted his fingers into my anus as well.
When I was 10, two of my close friends groomed me, they simulated blowjobs on each other and got me to do the same to them.
When I was 11, my 12 year old friend groomed and molested me despite me protesting, he got me to get in my bed with him and he rubbed up against me. Earlier that day he also got me to sit in his lap whilst cuddling me from behind, we were wearing underwear.
When I was 13, that same friend when he was nearly 14 and another friend who was already 14 groomed and molested me in my pool again, I had an erection in the pool and jokingly showed one of them it, and it escalated from there. They both got naked and got me to do so, I protested but eventually gave in to the pressure, they also showed each other their genitals and got me to do the same, later that boy got me to sit in his lap again whilst the older boy rubbed up against me.
There was also just the normal experimenting stuff, one of my friends used to show me his erections and I would do the same.
All of my friends were going through puberty and their bodies were changing and so was mine, which I found incredibly fascinating and arousing, and I had seen most of my friends genitals and some other students genitals throughout growing up, so me being young and autistic, I became very curious.
Kids before finishing Elementary/Primary School were swearing and talking about sex, then as I got older (11) kids were drinking, smoking, doing drugs, talking about masturbation habits and apparently having genuine sex. Then by the time I was 13, there was a lot of students taking nudes, nudes being spread around school and nudes being leaked (including mine, which distressed me for a few days, but only because people knew they were mine, if they were spread around but they didn't know it was me, I wouldn't have cared), kids with condoms and other stuff etc.
I started watching non-pornographic sexual content online (sex scenes from movies, TV shows, games etc) at age 9 which I would genuinely get an erection from watching.
At age 10 I hit puberty (testicles largened) and I started masturbating to non pornographic stuff. Including videos of animals mating. I also tried to find stuff involving my peers and found a fake video of stuff suggestive of that.
At 11 I started to grow pubic hair and had my first ejaculations, as well as discover porn, and I had my first crush which was on a 12 year old boy who was another friend, who I would masturbate to. This crush lasted a number of years, but he was straight so it couldn't go anywhere. This was also the age I started taking nudes and videos of me masturbating.
At 12 I started to grow underarm har and facial hair began to appear on my upper lip, I was watching porn very heavily at this point.
At 13 my voice had broken and I was nearly my full adult height, this was also the age I first masturbated to a non-sexual nude image of a child. As well as videos of stuff like naturism and videos of circumcision (I don't have a pain or gore fetish, I would just blank it out and focus on the genitals.)
By 14 I was my full adult height, I had adult sized ejacualtions and my penis had fully grown. And that is when I started posting my nudes online. To which I would have sexual conversations with adults, not knowing I was setting myself up to be groomed and have something normalised in my head which shouldn't be.
By 15 I was growing facial hair, as well as chest and abdominal hair. And I found a shotacon involving a boy my age having sex with an adult woman, and I would pretend to be him.
At 17, a 19 year old flirted with me and got me into sending nudes to him, and he did the same, which I didn't see as bad and despite it being technically illegal, I still don't.
I also did the same when I was 19 with a 17 year old stranger online, but they were very willing and I didn't pressure them, no personal info was shared between us.
I also messaged a 15 and 14 year old at some point but stopped myself from letting it go any further. And cut them off before anything could be shared.
And when I started watching the CSAM, it was mostly teens 9n webcams that I watched, I was lured into thinking that this content isn't kids being assaulted or anything (which it is) and due to my experiences twisting my view, I thought kids were enjoying it (which they weren't) since I would have had enjoyed it at that age (which I wouldn't have) it wasn't until I saw unmistakable suffering which is when I stopped and vowed to never go there again. It was mostly stuff involving boys, the stuff involving girls I just found too revolting. I wanted to relive those experiences, go back to a time I was happier. It felt safe and comforting.
All of these experiencs warped my views and understanding of things, desensitised me and made me believe things were ok that weren't and that kids aren't as innocent as they are seen to be (which they are). I have never commited rape or an act of molestation and never will, these are acts I've always seen as vile and disgusting.
I've suffered with mental health issues for a long time as well.
I've struggled with feelings of self-hatred and worthlessness since around 9 or 10.
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety at 13, I've been self harming and suicidal since 15, I've also been attempting suicide since 15.
I've always felt like the odd one out, I always felt like I was the worst at everything, I was the one who was left out of games at school, the one who was always picked last in sports.
I was bullied a lot growing up, by students and occasionally teachers alike.
My mother is narcissistic and has been emotionally and occasionally physically abusive to me since I was 14 (telling me she hates me and that everyone else hates me, tells me how horrible I am, tells me that I should kill myself and do everyone a favour, threatened to stab me in my sleep, hit me on the occasion, bit me, threw things at me, including heavy things and glass, strangled me).
I truly don't know what to do anymore, I'm completely lost.
I'm a 20 year old male with autism and possible OCD.
There are many things I want to talk about so this is going to be really long and unorganised.
From age 18 up until last year, I viewed and masturbated to CSAM, and the way I went about getting hold of it is equally bad, if not worse. I cannot express in words the shame and remorse I feel for this.
I know most of you hate me now and I don't blame you, and I guarantee you I hate myself more for it.
The most confusing part about it is I don't find children attractive, there's no groinal response, urges, desires, arousal, nothing. I don't even take a second glance or stare, the only thing I have is intrusive thoughts. Recently I was sat in the corner of a crowded bus, and since there was nowhere else to sit, three boys, none of which could have been older than 13 sat by me, one next to me, and the other two across from me, to which I felt nothing of that nature whatsoever.
I'm sexually attracted to males 20 and over, and I'm romantically and sexually attracted to females 20 and over, I wouldn't even date an 18 or 19 year old.
My instincts when I've been around children in recent times is purely parental and protective.
I'd never hurt a child, especially in that way, I'd slit my wrists or set myself on fire before I did that, I might just slit my wrists anyway.
I'd run into a burning building, I'd run out onto a busy road, I'd give my life to save a child's life.
I don't go out of my way to be around children, I find them for the most part irritating, I don't hate them though. Throughout my entire life I preferred the company of adults. I even live across from a playground ffs.
I'm scarred for life by some of the things I saw in those images and videos, how the hell could someone do something like that?! I want to climb through the screen and protect those kids, give them a hug and let them know nothing can hurt them anymore.
I stumbled across an image hosting site when I was 16 whilst trying to find material involving my peers again, and the site hosted lots of cropped images of teens on webcams and older kids on webcams (it was obvious what they were doing), and on the page for the accounts, it usually displayed an email where stuff could be traded, but I didn't pursue that until 2 years later.
I went about acquiring it through sending old images and videos of myself, and in a lot worse way as well.
Starting from 14 up until last year, I very occasionally placed my phone in the bathroom and filmed my friends urinating, this happened definitely less than ten times, and most of them I deleted from everywhere, but I kept one and a screenshot of a few others, I started posting these images, as well as my own nudes, on an old reddit account which was deleted not long after, I made sure to hide their identities while doing this, I enjoyed the attention and compliments I would get, and I loved bigging up my friends and seeing them get compliments.
Then I used this content to acquire the bad stuff years later, including the stuff of me.
I had an Idea that this was considered wrong but I didn't understand how it could have been harmful.
This happened to less than 5 friends, all the content I had I have long since deleted and wiped any access to, and I have no intention to do this again, but the main issue is the fact that copies could have been made of it, and I accidentally sent the uncropped video once. There's the possibility none of this stuff is out there, but it's still vile and repulsive.
One of them was my closest friend, who I had known basically all my life, I broke down to him and told him what I had done and what I believe does me to this awful, reprehensible place, and you know what he did? He told me he forgave me and that some video possibly being out there doesn't phase him and his life isn't ruined at all and it will go on either way.
But he understandably said we can't see each other anymore, that he still loves me, believes I'm a good person and wants me to live a good life and make the world a better place, which was a dream of ours.
It's extra difficult because we were so close, we had experienced so much together, held all the same interests and beliefs, and I loved him only like family could, so the fact I committed this vile act of betrayal rids me with so much shame, and deservedly so. In a way I find it harder to get through because I didn't understand the true consequences of my actions and how this could have affected him and others, it would be less confusing and easier to accept I'm just the lowest form of humanity that way.
The other two friends I stopped communicating with, I wiped the account wiped the content from all areas they were stored on, deleted what they were stored, everything, and there is a possibility it's not out their at all.
I displayed other problematic behaviours from a young age, all to do with boundary issues, I sometimes used to touch my friends when I was 12 but never their actual genitals, and I used to jokingly show my erection to people as well.
The only constant that I knew for certain is wrong is genuine rape and molestation, which is a line I know for certain I could never cross, and never will.
From a very young age (around 3 or 4) my mother would do very inappropriate party tricks around me with her friends late at night when they were drinking, her friends would call me sexy, and as I got older and hit puberty, she started making comments about my bulge and other things despite the fact I hated it and told her so.
When I was 7 I was groomed and molested by an 8 year old boy, I wanted him to help me pass a level on my DS game and he said he'll do it if I have sex with him, me being 7 I didn't understand what that was and with him being older I complied. We were naked during this, he fondled my genitals and got me to do the same to him, he inserted his fingers into my anus as well.
When I was 10, two of my close friends groomed me, they simulated blowjobs on each other and got me to do the same to them.
When I was 11, my 12 year old friend groomed and molested me despite me protesting, he got me to get in my bed with him and he rubbed up against me. Earlier that day he also got me to sit in his lap whilst cuddling me from behind, we were wearing underwear.
When I was 13, that same friend when he was nearly 14 and another friend who was already 14 groomed and molested me in my pool again, I had an erection in the pool and jokingly showed one of them it, and it escalated from there. They both got naked and got me to do so, I protested but eventually gave in to the pressure, they also showed each other their genitals and got me to do the same, later that boy got me to sit in his lap again whilst the older boy rubbed up against me.
There was also just the normal experimenting stuff, one of my friends used to show me his erections and I would do the same.
All of my friends were going through puberty and their bodies were changing and so was mine, which I found incredibly fascinating and arousing, and I had seen most of my friends genitals and some other students genitals throughout growing up, so me being young and autistic, I became very curious.
Kids before finishing Elementary/Primary School were swearing and talking about sex, then as I got older (11) kids were drinking, smoking, doing drugs, talking about masturbation habits and apparently having genuine sex. Then by the time I was 13, there was a lot of students taking nudes, nudes being spread around school and nudes being leaked (including mine, which distressed me for a few days, but only because people knew they were mine, if they were spread around but they didn't know it was me, I wouldn't have cared), kids with condoms and other stuff etc.
I started watching non-pornographic sexual content online (sex scenes from movies, TV shows, games etc) at age 9 which I would genuinely get an erection from watching.
At age 10 I hit puberty (testicles largened) and I started masturbating to non pornographic stuff. Including videos of animals mating. I also tried to find stuff involving my peers and found a fake video of stuff suggestive of that.
At 11 I started to grow pubic hair and had my first ejaculations, as well as discover porn, there was also an image I masturbated to which depicted a boy of my age giving oral to a man, and I had my first crush which was on a 12 year old boy who was another friend, who I would masturbate to. This crush lasted a number of years, but he was straight so it couldn't go anywhere. This was also the age I started taking nudes and videos of me masturbating.
At 12 I started to grow underarm har and facial hair began to appear on my upper lip, I was watching porn very heavily at this point.
At 13 my voice had broken and I was nearly my full adult height, this was also the age I first masturbated to a non-sexual nude image of a child. As well as videos of stuff like naturism and videos of circumcision (I don't have a pain or gore fetish, I would just blank it out and focus on the genitals.)
By 14 I was my full adult height, I had adult sized ejacualtions and my penis had fully grown. And that is when I started posting my nudes online. To which I would have sexual conversations with adults, not knowing I was setting myself up to be groomed and have something normalised in my head which shouldn't be.
By 15 I was growing facial hair, as well as chest and abdominal hair. And I found a shotacon involving a boy my age having sex with an adult woman, and I would pretend to be him.
At 17, a 19 year old flirted with me and got me into sending nudes to him, and he did the same, which I didn't see as bad and despite it being technically illegal, I still don't.
I also did the same when I was 19 with a 17 year old stranger online, but they were very willing and I didn't pressure them, no personal info was shared between us.
I also messaged a 15 and 14 year old at some point but stopped myself from letting it go any further. And cut them off before anything could be shared, or any messages could be exchanged for that matter.
And when I started watching the CSAM, it was mostly teens 9n webcams that I watched, I was lured into thinking that this content isn't kids being assaulted or anything (which it is) and due to my experiences twisting my view, I thought kids were enjoying it (which they weren't) since I would have had enjoyed it at that age (which I wouldn't have), it wasn't until I saw unmistakable suffering which is when I stopped and vowed to never go there again. It was mostly stuff involving boys, the stuff involving girls I just found too revolting. I wanted to relive those experiences, go back to a time I was happier. It felt safe and comforting. It was relatable.
All of these experiencs warped my views and understanding of things, desensitised me and made me believe things were ok that weren't and that kids aren't as innocent as they are seen to be (which they are). I have never commited rape or an act of molestation and never will, these are acts I've always seen as vile and disgusting.
I've suffered with mental health issues for a long time as well.
I've struggled with feelings of self-hatred and worthlessness since around 9 or 10.
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety at 13, I've been self harming and suicidal since 15, I've also been attempting suicide since 15.
I've always felt like the odd one out, I always felt like I was the worst at everything, I was the one who was left out of games at school, the one who was always picked last in sports.
I was bullied a lot growing up, by students and occasionally teachers alike, and even my boss at my first job.
My mother is a heavy drinker, narcissistic and has been emotionally and occasionally physically abusive to me since I was 14 (telling me she hates me and that everyone else hates me, tells me how horrible I am, tells me that I should kill myself and do everyone a favour, threatened to stab me in my sleep, hit me on the occasion, bit me, threw things at me, including heavy things and glass, strangled me). There was also manipulation tactics like gaslighting, she alienated me from others by telling her friends and family how awful I was. Pushed me into meltdowns and got me to lash out, to which she called the police and got me arrested and made me look like the bad one on multiple occasions.
My father was a drug addict who died when I was 14, I saw him less than ten times my whole life, he grew drugs in my room when I was an infant, my most distinct memory is him coming to my house very late one night when I was around 9 or 10 talking about demons and bad spirits.
Addiction runs in my family (my father's father is an equally heavy drinker, his mother is a drug addict who ran a brothel), so the addictive tendencies have been past down to me.
I probably was addicted to porn by 13, and had been feeding it for years without knowing it.
My adopted grandfather died when I was 4, and my adopted grandmother (which I lived with from birth) who was my guiding light, died less than a week before my dad did.
The only father figure I really had (who was an alcoholic but otherwise very good with me) was my mother's partner who she met when I was 6, and he died when I was 8.
I was also very close to my mother's best friend, who had been more of a mother to me than my actual one had been some time died when I was 17.
My mother had an abusive ex who stalked her and threatened to set fire to the house, who also left ranting letters and stood in the back garden at night, so we lived in fear of stuff like that for over a year from when I was 12 through 13.
She also had an abusive lodger who was an even heavier drinker than she is, so from when I was 14 through 16 I witnessed them physically fight, both get arrested and on a few occasions I had to defend her from him.
Many of my friends have betrayed me over the years (I know I'm one to talk) but when this started to happen I would have never dreamed of betraying anyone, personal stuff was shared about me which I trusted them with, there was a lot of bad talking about me without me knowing. My toe closest friend turned on me at age 12 and isolated me from my other friends, I blamed myself at the time which I why I moved schools at 13 since I thought I was just making everyone miserable.
I didn't get diagnosed with autism until I was q9 despite trying to get it since I was 12, it hurt knowing I had been paying my whole life for being different, feeling ashamed of who I am (and rightly so now really), wondering why what I said was offensive, why I didn't understandfulky why this was wrong, why I was so sensitive to jokes, why I took e everyhing literally, why I made impulsive and reckless decisions without understanding the consequences of them.
I was never considered attractive and was ridiculed for it (girls used to jokingly flirt with me to torment me at school). I'm 5'6, always have struggled with weight, hairline started receding at 16, eczema so my skin is always red, dry and flaky, really bad diastema and acid reflux which means it's really hard to make my breath smell nice and my teeth are very worn because of it. I have had sex with someone who was older than me and we were both consenting adults, and we were both very respectful of boundaries.
I was also desensitised to other things slide gore and violence, I played a lot of violent video games when I was a kid, my mother is really into controversial shock movies (she got me to watch Cannibal Holocaust with her when I was 11).
The worst part about all of this is the fact all my friends who I love would hate me if they knew about what I've done so, none of them would trust me anymore or respect me, which is what friendships are all about right? So in a way they feel strange, they feel fake.
I could never find a relationship or true love because nobody wants to date a serial sex offender.
I hate knowing the fact I'm a sex offender, it's eating me alive.
I'm not registered and there is no real proof of what I did, so I can't turn myself in or anything.
I want to do good in the world, I have so much love to give, but it feels wrong me helping people because it feels like there is a sinister undertone to everything I do.
I've always enjoyed being charitable, I love giving money to the homeless or putting change in a donations box.
I feel guilty whenever I feel hapoy since I don't deserve to be, the only things that I enjoy now are food and playing video games, it's the only job I get out of day to day life.
The only fate I deserve is being stabbed to death in prison or something.
All I want is to be loved and accepted despite my flaws and mistakes, but I never could be.
The only other person I've told is my mother, who has been supportive.
I've been on antidepressants since 18 and I'm trying to get therapy, but I'm not hoping or expecting anything good will happen from this. I've been in and out of therapy since I was 11.
I had dreams, I had aspirations, I wanted to change the world for the better, I wanted to have a son, not to hurt him, but so he doesn't end up like me, but I reliase that is not possible. I don't deserve to be around children.
I hate keeping secrets, but I have no choice but to keep this one.
I want to identify with good people, but I can't.
Every good thing I do is invalidated now.
I forgive everyone who has wronged me in anyway, since I'm worse than them.
I just pray I can go out doing good, doing the right thing.
I am no better than Jimmy Saville, Ian Watkins or any of them types of people.
If you want to motivate me to end it all, feel free.
If you have read through all of this, thank you.

I will try to make this shorter but I am angry. Also, just want to point out, we are not in the US. (33F; 36M)
We have had similar conversations before and every time I have gotten angry and felt further away from him. For starters, he does not have such negative views on the police as I do and when he sees a video or article about police violence or other negative thing they did, he acknowledges it but says stuff like "yeah, but that's in the US, their police is terrible". On the other hand I think solving murders and stuff is more of a pass-time for the police and their main purpose is to protect the people in power from the masses and also in the cases of domestic abuse, trafficking and SA, counting on them for help can actually make things worse.
Now to the point, I sent him a video of our country's police beating protestors who were protesting the genocide going on in Palestine. And he said stuff like "well, they can't protest in that spot", "they were not peaceful" (I doubt that) and "well, maybe the police are tired of dealing with all these people protesting all the time, climate rebels, Gaza rebels and what not". The conversation was long-ish but basically then he said there is not enough majority for this cause and I said the people who don't care suck and he replied "well too bad, that's democracy and the majority does not support the protests".
He doesn't support Israel's actions but when I said I think the region should be ruled by Palestine, with no apartheid, no camps, equality, etc. he said "ah, so you want women to be forced to stay home and for little girls to have their genitalia mutilated, because that's what happens in such religious extremism that Hamas represents". And like, are you fucking kidding me right now? The conversation continued in this way with me saying what Israel is doing is evil and him suggesting that Hamas are equally to blame and equally bad and under their rule, which apparently will be the case if Palestine "wins", women and children will also have it terrible.
This is the best relationship I've been in so far but I can't help the anger I feel when we !disagree" on things I consider so important. It almost feels like a betrayal. I know some people manage to change their partners. I know a girl who was a vegetarian and then her bf became one, then they broke up and her next bf was vegan, so she became vegan too. My best friend got her bf to love cats and so on. But I just don't have the energy to try and change someone's opinion honestly, plus, for some things I feel like it's not my job to do that. I just get so angry when this happens! And then he gets upset that I am upset. He seems to be totally fine that we "disagree" on some topics

I'm not sure if Im posting this in the right place. But, im posting on behalf of my friend who's struggling to leave an abusive relationship with the father of her child. They are currently living together.
He's somehow hacked her phone to be able to read all her text messages and send messages from her phone number, pretending to be her. He's also had access to her Instagram. Idk if he has access to her entire phone or what. She recently got a new phone, but kept the same phone number because of work. He still appears to have access to her phone. How can we stop him from doing this and get her privacy back? Is there a way to find out what he's doing? If he has access to every app on her phone? Could just using WhatsApp or Signal be a solution?
Thank you in advance

Long story short, my 5 year old diabetic cat hasn't taken to insulin since we discovered he was diabetic with a DKA diagnosis. We treated that, and for the last four months have attempted to treat his diabetes. He was chunky before, but much less fat than most cats I see with diabetes. But now he's down to 7 lbs. He has spent the last two days throwing up his wet food.
Since his diagnosis, he's fluctuated between decent days, horrible days, good days, and end of life days. We almost put him down in March because he didn't eat for two days straight, but the morning we were going to go through with it, he popped up and started eating again. He got better and seemed to be doing fairly well after that.
Now he is right back to where he was then.
He's so exhausted. So weak. If we feed him and give him his insulin, he'll puke a few hours later.
I want to put him down here at home with a mobile vet that specializes in euthanasia. My cat hates car rides and I can't handle his last hour on earth being filled with anxiety. The mobile vet doesn't have availability tonight, and tomorrow is literally the only day of the whole year that I actually have to be at work in the office. We are usually virtual, and I have been in charge of having EVERY virtual employee meet for a huge in-person staff day with events, lunches, outings, etc. All on my plate this one day a year. The timing is honestly insane.
My question is—can we wait until Thursday morning to put him down? Is that too late? Is that a normal amount of time? We weren't even thinking of putting him down until lunch time today. I just thought he was a bit sick but going to bounce back like he has in the past. He seems so much worse today than ever before.
Extra Note: we spent a LOT of money treating the DKA. We cannot pour anymore into vet visits to see what else is wrong and/or do another round of DKA treatment. We put a cap on it, and I have to stick with that. I am waiting for him to urinate so I can do a home test for ketones.

I should have thought to reach out to Reddit about this earlier. Here goes...
Our local library is awesome. It's a cornerstone of the community and a wonderful place for kids, full of activities and clubs and the like. This is due to a few particular individuals, but especially the director, who has made this place fantastic over the last few years.
Well, the board decided to fire her. Apparently, they've been meddlesome, 80's-era movie scumbags for a while, doing what they can to make her job hell, and they put the final nail into the coffin right about the time I thought I'd pursue the vacant trustee position, myself.
Long story short-ish, one of the nice old librarians had her phone hacked and at least one dick pic was sent out to various library groups, including groups that contain teens. The director immediately addressed the board leadership, as policy directed her to, was told she acted correctly, then was fired for not immediately going to the police about it, which wasn't policy.
The board told her she could either resign with a severance or be fired, but she chose to defend herself. She was pressured into signing something that said she was absolutely forbidden to discuss and part of this and unequivocally accepted any decision the board made, who would also not speak of it.
Unfortunately, they immediately started doing that, roving around the book club, "Something something, further director, something something MINORS! Gasp!" and have been actively sabotage replying l reemployment efforts in the field of not only the director, but the workers who walked out with her in solidarity, some of them still teens, themselves!
So, tonight is the meeting where I'm suddenly speaking before a board that has forbidden its remaining workers from contracting or even mentioning the former director, forbidden her from discussing the nature of her separation as they carry on as they like, and ultimately face that our beloved library may not be so for much longer. They have also proceeded to fire the custodian, a position they never had before her, only relied on the other workers to fill, and their event DJ, another hire of hers.
So, here are my questions. 1) Can they even do any of this? Coerce her into signing ostensibly legally binding paperwork that they then break, themselves? 2) Hide details of their decisions from the public? Isn't transparency part of the job? Don't they kind of work for us in that sense? 3) Do you think calling them out for this will even change anything?
I'm going to research more policy before tonight's meeting (they've also since mandated that policy information must be printed out at a fee to the individual, rather than something public and reasonably accessible), but would really like to know if I have a leg to stand on. Any help would be truly appreciated.

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My 4yo has gone to the same ABA clinic for over 2 years. He’s had that same BCBA the entire time, she’s one of the people who actually started the branch in our city for that company. He also had the same RBT for almost 2 years (plus another one, he had 2 at a time).
About 6 weeks ago, several RBTs were replaced. Our RBT was absent a lot so I assumed that was why. But now, even more are gone and I don’t know if they were fired or left.
Today my son’s BCBA called me to let me know that she would no longer be with the company and that it was not the right fit for her at this time, and that he would have a new BCBA. This BCBA is brand new to the company. My friend’s son goes to the same clinic and also lost their BCBA.
I have never had any issues with this BCBA, in fact, I always liked her a ton. I asked her on the phone if there was anything I should be concerned about. I did tell her I understood that she may not be able to answer that due to her position. The answer she gave me was vague, but did not leave me feeling reassured.
Is this a red flag?

Not real names This is gonna be a long one but I just need someone to hear what I’m going through right now cause I can’t talk to anyone at work about this, I told my wife and she said to ask Reddit so. My journeyman Jack and I (Jack m35 me m21)have worked together for a year now, we work in a remote camp setting 2 weeks on and off, we do maintenance on the camps in the area. My first week is with John who is an amazing journeyman and then my second week is with Jack. Jack is a psychopathic, narcissistic, manipulative, cokehead/stoner, gaslighter who thinks he is the smartest person ever, which Dosnt mix well when your also a supervisor whatching over other workers. For the last 8 months or so his first 2-3 days are spent in his room cause he’s still fucked up from his time off or he just gets super baked and chills out missing meetings not sending reports on time just not doing his job in general and always trying to get me to cover for him. For the first couple months this happened I was happy to help him out, he wasn’t having the best home life and I thought I was helping him, cause he was so manipulative and made me feel sorry for him and understanding. Were now on month 8 of this going on and I can’t do it anymore, he’s supposed to be teaching me but all he dose is get stoned and fucks off we work in a zero tolerance environment so I figured it’s only a matter of time till he gets cought but he also brings in synthetic piss just in case something does happen. I told our main superintendent about why he’s always in his room the first couple days trying to get him to do something about it but apparently they can’t do anything unless he has an incident. So I can’t go and blatantly say he has drugs and synthetic piss cause I’m also the only other person that knows about it so he will know I said something and he will make sure I pay. I’m alot bigger then him so physically I’m not afraid of him but I know what he’s capable of on another level of fucked up like he’s the kind of guy that will stop at nothing to make sure if he goes down everyone goes down with him. Whether it’s true or not he will plant shit to make sure someone else goes down with him or for it. He’s already made threats of if I say anything he will make sure I pay for it. He’s tied in with viatnameese gangsters and HA. I want his job as lead and I go to school in a couple months and my boss offered me the job but I don’t know what to do cause he needs to be gone now. There’s a lot of time between now and when I’m supposed to take over and I’m afraid he’s gonna do something bad that burns everyone,he’s incompetent and insane and it’s really starting to affect my mental health cause he lies and lies about everything but I can’t say shit to anyone cause I also don’t have solid proof to get him fired. Like do I just crash the truck one day with him and get him piss tested, I feel like it’s to late for me to tell my head office what really goes on out here but I’m afraid of what he will do if he finds out about me saying anything, hell he’d probably kill me for making this post. I just need someone to hear this cause idk how much longer this is gonna go on before someone gets hurt or killed. I just hope it’s not me.

Ok so I guess I want some brutally honest opinions. I went on a first date with this guy last week and it was amazing, I really like him and he said he had a great time as well. He works day shifts one week and night shifts the next. This week he’s on night shifts so I suggested doing something in the day before he goes to work. His response was quite disappointing - he said if he’s awake then sure but he usually wakes up just before his shift and said that the week after when he’s ok day shifts would be more ideal. Is that rude of him to not even attempt to set an alarm and meet me or am I overthinking it? I know people have different routines.

Right off the bat, I just want to tell the artists they're doing a good job and I don't want to make excuses for monetization. I think the nerfs to basically every system in the game that enables progression seems to be just a straight up bad call that should be addressed. I don't want to excuse it, but I'd still like to give credit to the continuously good visual (and even auditory) design that keeps me playing this game. I don't really pay much attention to numbers in general and don't wish to be competitive, but even I noticed that I had no desire at all to pay any money even for noble/growth path etc. during this season launch because it all seems too little for too much.
But disregarding that, I think that the artists who work on this game still deserve to be commended. Some improvements to the story I think should be highlighted:
-Better writing and voice acting during the main story, as well as changes to individual characters and their voices and existing lines. Brutus used to be kind of a joke because of the audio quality, but he's a compelling character when he appears in the actual story and sounds great. Also the story (and I'm not done with it by yet any means) is all the way through a bit more compelling and interesting. I hope it continues on this path and we get some really cool graveborn content down the way.
-Good environment design that stands out from the base game in vibe and aesthetic, and provides context for the mauler faction. just simple mechanics like climbing up cliffs and directing the charging animals etc is a little bit of flavour that adds to the new areas and makes navigation a bit more interactive. Also the puzzles are not always completely braindead and require some thought.
-Cutscenes are improved in direction and choreography. I know some people just skip the story but some of us actually play for the story and the effort is appreciated.
This game is one of a kind in its aesthetic and I want it to succeed, even if the money people are screwing up and making the community turn.

I extracted the NHTSA reports for the incidents in the Waymo investigation. There are 22 incidents, these are just the ones in the NHTSA database, not including the handful of non-crash ones such as driving on the wrong side of the road. These reports are vague and in the ones marked as crashes with other vehicles, there is no information on who was at fault or other useful stuff. But the long and short of it is that out of a million trips, if these are the crashes most worth investigating, it's pretty mild stuff. I will write up more on this later for Forbes' site. Passengers were present in the vehicles for 11 of these, no injuries.

• On February [XXX], 2024 at 1:42 AM MT a Waymo Autonomous Vehicle ("Waymo AV") operating in Phoenix, Arizona was in a collision involving debris on [XXX] towards [XXX].
• On February [XXX], 2024 at 10:01 PM PT a Waymo Autonomous Vehicle ("Waymo AV") operating in Los Angeles, California was in a collision involving a gate at [XXX] and [XXX].
• On January [XXX], 2024 at 8:03 AM PT a Waymo Autonomous Vehicle (Waymo AV) operating in Scottsdale, Arizona was in a collision involving an automatic gate in an apartment complex parking lot entrance on [XXX] near [XXX].
• On January [XXX], 2024 at 4:50 PM PT a Waymo Autonomous Vehicle (Waymo AV) operating in Phoenix, Arizona was in an event involving a rock in the road on [XXX] past [XXX].
• On January [XXX], 2024 at 12:35 PM PT a Waymo Autonomous Vehicle (Waymo AV) operating in Gilbert, Arizona was in an event involving parking lot spikes at a parking lot entrance on [XXX] near [XXX].
• This report includes the following updates to the initial report submitted on January 14, 2024 [REDACTED, MAY CONTAIN CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS INFORMATION]: corrected event year in the narrative from 2023 to 2024 LOCATION ADDRESS / DESCRIPTION field updated to reflect the location listed in the narrative clarifications added to the narrative and correction to the Waymo AVs mileage. The remainder is unchanged from the initial report.
• On January [XXX], 2023 at 10:52AM PT a rider of a moped lost control of the moped they were operating and fell and slid in front of a Waymo Autonomous Vehicle ("Waymo AV") operating in San Francisco, California on [XXX] at [XXX] neither the moped nor its driver made contact with the Waymo AV.
• On November [XXX] , 2023 at 10:09 AM PT a Waymo Autonomous Vehicle (Waymo AV) operating in Tempe, Arizona was in a collision involving a chain in a parking lot at [XXX].
• On October [XXX], 2023 at 1:29 PM PT a Waymo Autonomous Vehicle (Waymo AV) operating in Phoenix, Arizona was in a collision involving an automatic gate in a parking lot driveway at Central High School.
• On October [XXX], 2023 at 6:53 PM PT a Waymo Autonomous Vehicle (Waymo AV) operating in Phoenix, Arizona experienced underbody damage in a construction zone on [XXX] near [XXX].
• On July [XXX], 2023 at 11:11 AM PT a Waymo Autonomous Vehicle (Waymo AV) operating in San Francisco, California was in a collision involving an SUV on [XXX] east of [XXX].
• On[XXX], 2023 at 8:48 PM PT a Waymo Autonomous Vehicle (Waymo AV) operating in San Francisco, California was in a collision involving a passenger vehicle on [XXX] at [XXX}.
• On March [XXX], 2023 at 8:27 PM PST a Waymo Autonomous Vehicle (Waymo AV) operating in San Francisco was in a collision involving a fixed object on [XXX] near [XXX].
• On February [XXX], 2023 at 5:43 AM PST a Waymo Autonomous Vehicle ("Waymo AV") operating in San Francisco, California was in a collision involving road debris on [XXX] at [XXX].
• Other than the updated Speed Limit field, the content of this report is unchanged from the initial report submitted on December 5, 2022 [REDACTED, MAY CONTAIN CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS INFORMATION].
• On December [XXX], 2022 at 9:05 PM PST a Waymo Autonomous Vehicle (Waymo AV) operating in Phoenix, Arizona was in a collision involving a fixed object in a parking lot on the 4100 block of [XXX].
• On September [XXX], 2021 at 1:56 AM PDT, a Waymo Autonomous Vehicle ('Waymo AV') operating in San Francisco was in a collision involving an unoccupied parked passenger vehicle at the north end of [XXX] (a dead-end road).
• Other than the addition of the zip code in which the incident occurred, the content of this report is unchanged from the initial report submitted on September [XXX], 2021 [REDACTED, MAY CONTAIN CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS INFORMATION]. On August [XXX], 2021 at 5:41 PM PDT, Waymo Autonomous Vehicle ("Waymo AV") operating in San Francisco was in a collision involving an unoccupied parked passenger vehicle at [XXX]. While performing a multipoint turn at the north end of [XXX] (a dead-end road), the Waymo AV was in reverse at approximately 2 MPH when it made contact with the front driver's side door of an unoccupied parked passenger vehicle. The Waymo AV was in autonomous mode until just before making contact, when the test driver transitioned the Waymo AV into manual mode. The contact caused minor scuffing and a small dent in the door handle of the parked vehicle's driver door and minor damage to the plastic sensor housing on the Waymo AV's rear passenger's side.Waymo is reporting this crash under Request No. 1 of Standing General Order 2021-01 because the Waymo AV was towed from the scene (though the Waymo AV was driveable). Waymo may supplement or correct its reporting with additional information as it may become available. This report was submitted from the Pacific time zone on the required date.
• On August [XXX], 2021 at 5:41 PM PDT, Waymo Autonomous Vehicle ('Waymo AV') operating in San Francisco was in a collision involving an unoccupied parked passenger vehicle at [XXX]. While performing a multipoint turn at the north end of [XXX] (a dead-end road), the Waymo AV was in reverse at approximately 2 MPH when it made contact with the front driver's side door of an unoccupied parked passenger vehicle. The Waymo AV was in autonomous mode until just before making contact, when the test driver transitioned the Waymo AV into manual mode. The contact caused minor scuffing and a small dent in the door handle of the parked vehicle's driver door and minor damage to the plastic sensor housing on the Waymo AV's rear passenger's side.

If I remove a college from my financial aid application will it change the date I turned in the application and affect my other college. I am planning on taking a class at a community college over the summer, but I do not want my aid to go to it as I am still continuing at my current college of choice. Should I remove the community college from my application? Would it matter since I’m only taking one class? Would removing the community college affect the date of the information received for the university I’m currently enrolled in?

I don’t mind if people don’t like AI. Everyone has their opinions. It just bugs me when they spew and spread out the clearly wrong information.
Then classic Reddit hive mind just downvotes anyone who dared to correct them.
I hate when people are against something yet didn’t ever bother to learn or read about it at all. Like. If you are gonna hate something, at least do it properly. Hate it due to actual info and not something you think you know. Then say to those who do know they are wrong.
Just had a conversation where someone said I “clearly” didn’t know what I was talking about. As if I didn’t spend 2 years studying this.
Can someone tell me, how do AI image generators work?
Cause all I’ve seen from anti ai people is them saying “oh. It takes images then cuts them apart and puts them together.” Which I know isn’t true at all. Yet I get people hating on me for saying it.
—————————-
(Also can someone come and define “machine learning”?
Cause someone anti ai told me that “it’s not called machine learning cause it learns like a human. That’s moronic.” Cause. Pretty sure it does.)
(Also. Am I wrong? Cause I said in response to that:
“Tell me this. How does a human learn? Through failure and adapting. Through recognition of patterns and links.
That’s what “machine learning” is. A system of machines that can learn from data and unseen data. The more it experiences, the more it adapts and learns. Through trial and error.
Thus. Producing predictions and results using data given. And adapting to unseen data. Random events. Etc. It is a system in ai, specifically designed to learn from data it is given. Growing better with every change, every test, every new piece of info that is given.
It uses algorithm and to recognize patterns and links in data. Then it makes a predication/result based upon these. In this case, links to phrases in the prompts given, to examples it already was given prior. Which it then stored to use again.
Like us. Humans recognize patterns. We make connections. It’s how we learn. How did you learn to read English? Someone came and correlated to you, words to what you saw. Then you as a human, began to do this on your own. It’s how we learn other languages, linking different words, ones we know, and ones that mean the same thing in another language. Or in the case of art. We, see pictures of art, we see how they are made, see these connections and patterns then do it ourselves. (How do you know you are seeing a device when you replied to me? Someone once told you, or you saw someone say, “this is a device for communication” or anything of a similar meaning.)
Main difference is. Humans become self dependent on learning. We learn on our own. An AI, is fed information to learn from, by us. Albeit. Ai Mainly, (currently) through text and visual imprints.
Machine learning also comes in many forms. Learning differently like us. Supervision. We tell it the patterns. Semi supervised, we tell it then leave it be to recognize the pattern, unsupervised, where it will need to learn to recognize patterns it’s own.
Like a human. Some need supervision at the beginning to see the patterns and link stuff. Some, need less support. And some don’t.
We humans do this. We take in information through our sense and act accordingly after recognizing how others do so. Then making a decision from it.
Take a kid. They did something wrong, but they through it was right from learning from others. Eg. They see their parents make something or use tools, etc. but they have not learnt the dangers. As such, they mimic the behavior based on what they know. When they do it wrong, their parents tell them It’s wrong, then if they do it again, they take into account what the parent said. (Mostly. AIs are more restrictive than that. But that’s the gist.) ——“
Is this very wrong? Cause that’s what I learned over the last 2 years of me studying this. But I want to be sure. (I checked Google too. And it seems right. But wanted to check here too.)

If you have ever been in a relationship with someone who was manipulative (in the lines of a covert narcissist) have you ever exposed them and felt that you had found your voice and done the right thing to stand up for yourself or did you regret it and found it a waste of energy?
I was in a relationship with someone 30 years older than me for 7+ years,I met this person in my 20s when I was just learning about myself and getting some freedom from family, after being in abusive environment all my life, I was in a difficult position in certain areas and he basically love bombed until I believed it and so I went for the relationship, he ended up destroying every aspect of my life and my spirit with lies and manipulation, then discarding me and then cycles continued, I lost invaluable years of my youth in this, I went through hell and back many times for 7+ years, I wanted to know the truth of what was going on, it was so hard for me to believe he was hurting me on purpose, and I always thought he was more accomplished than me and a better person than me, so every time I found stuff out, I kept confronting him to get to a resolution, only to be lied by him more and believing it and ended up being hurt again, zero remorse from him for what he put me through.
And on top of it, he used me as a scapegoat for his divorce but he was cheating on his wife for 6+ years before meeting me, he basically made it seem to them like he met me and fell in love and that’s why he got a divorce, this couldn’t be further from the truth and I have proof for it, I never met his adult children but basically the way he spoke about me made it seem that he was always loyal and somehow this just happened or that I wanted him to get a divorce and it was my fault but he pursued me for over a year and lied about things that gave me a different impression of his life, anyways because of how he did things, his children and his whole family thought he is just a nice guy and I was the problem, I have proof that that’s not how things went at all.
I never spoke while in it, first of all he kept me compartmentalized even after marriage but even the times I was included, I was so afraid for so long that I was the crazy one that I just focused on therapy and fixing myself. We have been separated for 3+ years but only the last year I have been able to not allow him back in my life and really see things clearly.
And the past few months with my understanding of my adhd brain, a lot has been making more sense and I have tried to write an email to them explaining how things really went and the lies that he said, he created entire narratives that were lies and he believes them meaning, even if I bring them up to him he will be like, it’s the past and that’s not how he meant it and it’s none of their business to know everything that’s why he didn’t tell them, and he literally will argue over what happened when I was there, he will argue to me in private so I can imagine what he says behind my back, actually some of it I don’t need to imagine it, because 4 years ago I found out emails between him and his kids and they were horrible and it was so traumatic for me along with other things I found out.
This last year I have finally fully moved on emotionally, no longer fall for his manipulations and we are getting a divorce.
Now that I am better, I so badly want to have a voice and speak my truth, but every time I try I end up writing over 10 pages, because it’s that many things to try to explain how I even ended up in this situation. I know and own my part, I know I was stupid and my low esteem and having zero support from anyone else made him the most important person in my life, I used to adore him and it gave him all the supply and sex in the world, I know I missed a million red flags when he felt like my life line, but I can’t help feel with now being older that I was targeted and exploited by this man, and he had done it before and gotten away with it and lately I found out he is doing it again with other young girls in secrecy while he goes around happily seeming like the nice guy who just got caught up in a bad situation. It hurts my soul to not have this cleared up but it’s like my brain can’t explain it in a way that’s short and to the point. I know he has already convinced me that I was crazy in the past and I know he is gonna do that again to basically just put it all on me like he has even in private with me, he has never taken accountability, unless he was trying to manipulate for something he wanted to use me for, then I have gotten an insencere apology and then once he got what he wanted switched again to who he really is.
Has anyone ever spoken the truth about a manipulative person that used you as a scapegoat for his actions, without seeming like the crazy ex?

DMX last Thursday. Friday took baby dog to vet. Yesterday had to euthanize him. This morning one of my other dogs was attacked by coyotes. He is currently in the vet hospital getting scans. They will do surgery as soon as they come up with a plan. Every day I’ve had to go to the vet since I came home. Between my copay and my vet bills I have drained almost all of my rainy day money in the span of a week. With all the movement one side keeps bleeding through my drain and that side is swollen/painful. I have finally broken down and taken a hydrocodone which I thought I would not need. AND my sister is flaking on me, meaning my mother with dementia will have to come home this week for me to take care of. I have been hiding this cancer from her. How can I hide the drains coming out of my body or keep her from trying to make me soup (and burning down my kitchen)?
Normally I can find perspective and stay calm but this week has just been a LOT. I am feeling rage at the universe and just want to give it a big FU. Sorry to dump all of this. I just need this little vent session. Dog number 3 (all chihuahuas) is looking at me and telling me we need lunch. Once again, this universe can kiss my butt. For others going through a lot right now, know I am down here with you. We might not have the same struggles but I feel solidarity nonetheless.

I've never posted on reddit before, I don't really know how this works but I was hoping to get this off my chest.
I'm 22M, and the oldest of three boys. I'm living with my brothers Chris (20) and Caleb (10) in my father's house. My parents have been separated for 2 years, and living apart for almost 1 year. Since the separation, I found out that my experience of my parents is vastly different from my siblings, and I've become very upset by this.
While Chris and I both suffered emotional and verbal abuse from our father until we were teenagers, he has stopped his abusive behaviors and has since gone to therapy, and our relationship with him is now really good. I thought that I had a good mother growing up, even during that time she was a safe person for me that I could always cry to despite my extremely low trust in people. However, over the last 2 years since the separation, I've seen a horrible, unrecognizable side of her come out that I don't understand at all, and every story I hear from Chris tells me that she's always been like this. I believe him, of course, and it's painful to watch and to hear. He can't talk about a lot of it without crying, and I'm kicking myself for not understanding any of this til the grown ass age of 20-22.
For over a year now, I have been hearing story after story about the most horrendous treatment Chris received from her, and things that happened to him in her care that I never would have stood by and watched if I knew it was happening. Some comparatively 'tame' examples would be that she would blame him for his own SA and for my chronic health issues. Chris is "low functioning" autistic (as the assessor put it. We're all diagnosed with ASD, but Chris has it the worst, as well as worser mental health struggles unique to him). Our mother would consistently force him or guilt him to do things that she knew he physically and mentally could not do. She would gaslight him, shame him brutally for terrible things that had nothing to do with him, and even blamed him for our father's epilepsy.
She only sees the things he does wrong and never cares for how helpful he is. I got extremely sick at 14 and I am mostly house bound or sometimes bed bound, and use a wheelchair part time. I take medication for POTS and can barely get up to use the bathroom without it. I wasn't around to help Chris or witness things in my family that I should have, and Chris practically raised Caleb outside his school hours for 3-5 years while my parents were both working. But even now, my mother won't even give Chris any credit for everything he did. She says it was me, even though I was bed bound and sleeping for 16 hours a day.
I grew up very close to him but he hardly ever told me these things even though I would always go to bat for him in situations like this. I think he was afraid I would act like her. I was the golden child the whole time and had no idea, because I became so isolated from the family due to my illness that I didn't see the difference in how Chris was being treated. But she was never like this with me and I only witnessed her toxic behaviors on the rare occasion that we would argue. Now I feel terrible that I thought we grew up together, while in reality, Chris was isolated the whole time even worse than I was. I even used to get upset now and then if he wouldn't want to spend time with me as kids. He was my best and only friend after my illness forced me to drop out, and I didn't understand at the time that he was being put through so much stress by our parents before he saw me that he was too exhausted and too upset to talk to anyone. I feel terrible for ever complaining, even if it was just because I missed him and wanted to spend time with him.
Now we live solely with our father after a stretch of trying to go between houses, and the further Chris gets from our mother, the more he opens up to me about what a terrible parent she was to him and how much it still affects him. When I was a teenager I would often try to sacrifice my health to sort out problems for Chris any time he told me about them, but they often involved his school or some other outside issue and he wouldn't mention anything current about our mother. I thought I was doing an alright job taking care of him and that he was safe with her around, and now I find out that I should have been protecting him from HER the entire time.
Her behavior towards her own children makes me want to say things to her and do things to my relationship with her that I know are completely unwise because my father is trying to maintain peace with her during the separation. But I feel deeply protective of both my brothers now, and I just don't want her to ever talk to them or have a chance to hurt Caleb like she hurt Chris right under my nose.
But of course, it's not my decision. Chris is an adult now, and Caleb is only 10 and he is not my son that I can make decisions for. However, I feel like I already failed them by not defending Chris better and not being there to raise Caleb in his stead when my parents failed to do it, and now that I have all this information, I feel obligated to act and protect them in every way I possibly can. And I have no idea how to start. I'm exhausted, I'm stressed, and I'm still sick. I can't work and can barely do chores, and if I do, I'm sometimes in pain for over a day afterwards. I feel I'm no more helpful than I was at 14 years old, and I just want to take care of my family and be a good son. No matter how often I offer my shoulder or ear to them I feel completely and utterly useless. I'm as available to them right now as I can possibly be. I don't know what to do.
I don't know what I expect to get from this post but I think I just want to air it out. I can't afford therapy, so, I may as well try to get some relief from this.

Millenium:
Millenium 5:
Tales of the Neon Sea:
The Beast Inside:
We were here together:
Sigma Theorie:
Moonlighter:
Duskers:
Finding Paradise:
Paradigm:
Sniper Elite V2:
Ken Follet's Pillars of the Earth:
Owlboy:
Tomb Raider (Remake):
White Day VR:
Skautfold - Ursuper:
Hero of the Kingdom:
Hero of the Kingdom 2:
Main Assembly:
Warhammer 4000 - Relics of War:
Fun with Ragdolls:
Railway Empire:
Hotshot Racing:
Star Wolves:
Tacoma:
Hotshot Racing:
Emily is Away:
Star Wars Squadronsb (Origin)
Command and Conquer Remasterd (Origin):
There is no light -
Not for Broadcast -
One Step from Eden -
Yakuza Like a Dragon (EU region locked):