It's been 4 months since I was diagnosed with cirrhosis and I wanted to share these results. I can't believe the journey I've taken in such a short time. At the start, in January, I was in moderately bad shape.
ALT/AST was 60/247. It's down to 23/47! Bilirubin was 3.3. It's down to 1.7! Sodium was 128, it's back up to 131. Still not perfect but an improvement for sure.
Almost everything else is NORMAL including calcium, potassium, etc.
I'm a little confused about Albumin though. It says my albumin is normal but my Albumin/Globulin Ratio is low. Protein is high, 8.9. I chalk it up to being slightly dehydrated all the time due to fluid restricted diet (1L per day) and doubling down on protein.
Anyway, I'm shocked that almost everything in the test is normal. I never expected to make this much progress. I was told I could be in the danger zone back in January. My MELD was 25 last check but I can't imagine it'll be that high now, not with only like 3 things off out of 18. I'm hoping it's gone way down.
Just find a badass hepatologist, follow all of their instructions to the letter even if they're uncomfortable like my low fluid diet, stop drinking/smoking, stick to your guns with diet, get a lot of sleep if you can. I can't promise you'll be okay but things will probably look up!

For many, Guerlain’s Habit Rouge represents a high watermark in perfumery. Since its original release in 1965, the composition has been beloved by gentlemen (and ladies) across the world. It is also a well known favourite of many of the most well regarded perfume historians and reviewers out there and, because of that, one could well argue that there is precious little further useful opinion that can be added to the existing cannon (and they may well be right!).
Still, Jean-Paul Guerlain’s multi-faceted composition has been no stranger to a remix over the years and, since Delphine Jelk took over from Thierry Wasser as in-house perfumer at the historic French house, she has managed to deliver a staggering three new takes on the fragrance in as many years. What better opportunity could there be, therefore, to undertake both a reappraisal of the original release and, in doing so, compare it to some of the new kids on the block? Note: I have not sampled the first of Jelk’s flankers, 2022’s Habit Rouge L'Instinct but, given the almost unanimous negativity surrounding it, it’s not high on my hit list! We’ll be looking at Rouge Prive and the Parfum today.
Habit Rouge EDT (1965)
The concept behind Habit Rouge (or ‘Red Coat’, if translated in to English from its native language) was to create a perfume that brought to mind the jackets worn by the landed gentry when they went hunting. In the UK, we’re no stranger to this nefarious practice - our own fox hunting aristocrats also wore red coats and, despite now being banned, the idea of chasing helpless creatures to their deaths is still a subject of debate in our national politics (with right wing politicians often promising to offer a ‘free vote’ to MPs on the issue to energise their base).
As an animal lover myself, this is perhaps the only element of Habit Rouge I find somewhat jarring. There is nothing within this perfume which brings to mind sport, adrenaline, blood, or violence. I find it somewhat curious, consequently, that Guerlain sought to relate it to hunting. The only thing wearers of Habit Rouge were likely to be chasing on its release were sexual partners!
That statement isn’t made wholly in jest either. Habit Rouge is a gentleman’s fragrance, but it carries within its structure not only aspects of formality and traditional masculinity, but also sensuality and sensitivity. It is, as such, a fragrance well suited to old fashioned romantics. Indeed, if it didn’t have these traits, I’d argue that it wouldn’t have survived for the almost 60 years that it has. When you think about it, it’s almost incredible that, despite how radically concepts of masculinity have changed over the years, Habit Rouge has still been a regular seller for Guerlain, with devotees now spanning across 5 generations.
Created to be the younger brother to the company’s 1925 release, Shalimar it, like its sibling, contains a citrus top note, which descends into a floral heart, before culminating in a vanillic leather and amber base. Habit Rouge is not simply a three card trick, however, and its complete run of notes can be summarised as follows (as per Basenotes):
Top Notes: bergamot, lemon, rosewood, basil, pimento
Heart Notes: sandalwood, carnation, patchouli, cedar, rose, cinnamon
Base Notes: vanilla, amber, moss, leather, benzoin, labdanum, olibanum
When it comes to the head of the perfume, the real star of the show is the bergamot, which radiates wonderfully off the skin when first sprayed. Whilst it is effervescent, though, it is also a powdery affair. In fact, it can most accurately be described as being akin to orange sherbet - fizzing whilst maintaining a chalkiness. It is warm and reassuring as opposed to enthusiastic. It also maintains a cologne like structure, however, by incorporating herbal and spicy notes through the use of basil and rosewood.
This accord is then joined to a rose and carnation-dominant middle phase, through which the powdered facets of the fragrance continue to run, and through which the fragrance begins to show its romantic side.
Finally, the dry down of the fragrance provides a semi-sweet backdrop with the vanilla taking the edge away from the traditionally masculine moss and leather accords and combining with the rest of the ingredients to produce a soft, light amber.
It is not hard to see, in this context, why Habit Rouge has continued to be successful over the years - it, essentially, captures hearts and minds because it resonates with the personality of its wearer in a way that other traditional masculine fragrances can sometimes struggle to do (as they were often, like their owners of the period, more buttoned up).
Habit Rouge - Rouge Prive (2023)
That doesn’t mean that the EdT of Habit Rouge smells like it was composed yesterday, however. It just means that it has aged like a fine wine as opposed to being the perfume equivalent of a kipper tie. In fact, if it were any item of clothing, I’d compare it to a 1960s slim lapelled suit - of its time, but still stylish today.
Still, as the years have gone by, the term ‘legibility’ has become more and more important in the perfume industry, and there now seems to be a distinct trend towards the creation of perfumes whose formulas are more streamlined than Habit Rouge. Or to put it another way, perfumers are being encouraged to reduce the number of notes in a perfume’s composition, with the aim of producing a more direct product. For lovers of vintage fragrances, legibility can be an anathema but, personally, I have no issue with the principle behind the concept. Nor it appears, does Delphine Jelk. Enter Habit Rouge Rouge Prive.
Top Notes:Bergamot, Ginger
Middle Notes: Orange Blossom, Iris
Base Notes: Leather, Patchouli, Vanilla
As can be seen from the notes list, Rouge Prive maintains the structure of Habit Rouge (bergamot, floral, vanillic leather), but switches out or culls a number of the traditional accords that were contained within the original. Gone are the cologne-esque elements. Gone too are the powdery rose and carnation. The leather, meanwhile, has been amped up and modernised - more akin to Tom Ford’s Tuscan Leather than Knize 10. Whisper it quietly, but it also seems that Jelk has snuck an oud accord in to the base too.
Given the number of changes, you could be forgiven for thinking that Rouge Prive would end up smelling completely different to the EdT, but fans of the OG need not worry - this is still unmistakably Habit Rouge. To paraphrase Persolaise (my favourite reviewer of perfumes), it’s like the whole perfume has simply been redrawn with clean bold lines. The bergamot continues to shimmer and, in spite of the florals being listed as Orange Blossom and Iris, the ultimate accord generated is still interpreted by my nose as being a rose. It is very much a rouge perfume as opposed to an orange or purple one (which is, incidentally, roughly what you get if you combine an iris hue and orange on a colour wheel…).
Where Rouge Prive differs to the EdT is in its brute strength. The leather note really does have a serious kick to it and, given that, the perfume is pulled from the bottom up, as opposed to the top diffusing off the skin to reveal the heart.
Whilst I’ve always found the EdT to perform quite well, the longevity of the Prive is genuinely outstanding, again due to the material in the base. Pleasingly though, the dry down still does maintain the powdered amber facets contained within the original. It’s a superb flanker that updates Habit Rouge without necessarily ripping up the original composition.
Habit Rouge Parfum (2024)
Not to rest on their laurels, Guerlain have now revisited Habit Rouge again in 2024, introducing a parfum version to go alongside new stablemates Vetiver Parfum and L’Homme Ideal Parfum.
I’ll say in advance that I’m a little sceptical of the allure of parfums myself, as I often find that the actual performance difference between fragrance concentrations can be completely counter-intuitive (I have EdTs that vastly out-perform EDPs and Parfums, both in terms of silage and longevity). In addition, given that Rouge Prive was already quite beastly, the necessity for a parfum to be made only a year later seems curious to me.
Parking those views for the moment though, the theme across these three new releases appears to be alcohol. In the case of Habit Rouge, the drink of choice is listed as rum, although there seems to be confusion in that regard, with Jelk being quoted in the marketing as saying:
For Habit Rouge Le Parfum, I Created a leathery vanilla liqueur with plenty of bold bourbon-inspired intensity
Perhaps Guerlain are suggesting that the perfume has been matured in bourbon casks? Hmm. In any event, the notes list for this one is as follows:
Bergamot, Vanilla, Rum, Patchouli
Well, I did say perfumers were streamlining their notes list, didn’t I!
What’s most striking to me about the Parfum is, firstly, how base heavy it is (we’re talking sub-woofer level) but, secondly, how patchouli dominant it is - there’s a definite chocolate element in that respect, but my nose also detects something slightly medicinal, smoked, and perhaps even burnt (think coffee beans). When combined with the vanilla, the result is a perfume that very much lies within the domain of the gourmand.
This is somewhat a blessing and a curse - if you’re not a particular fan of the EdT or Prive’s floral elements, you’re likely to get along a lot better with the Parfum. At the same time though, I’d argue that the floral heart of Habit Rouge is, to a large extent, key to its DNA, and vastly reducing the components that make this element ‘sing’ lead to a very different fragrance profile.
My second critique is that the perfume, generally, feels less balanced than Rouge Prive. I have no issue with the concept of a Habit Rouge that focuses on patchouli - readers of my previous pieces will know that I’m a huge fan of the note - I just wished that, on a technical level, the Parfum still maintained a decent top end. As it is, the whole thing sits very deep against the skin, with any radiance from the bergamot being buried by the heavier materials. This ultimately leads to a fragrance that, rather than being a sparkling rouge, comes across as a heavy-set chocolate and beige. Because of that, I can’t decide whether or not I’ve truly fallen for the Parfum.
That being said, you honestly couldn’t go wrong with any one of these three and I’ve no doubt they’ll appeal to different elements of the fragrance market. I look forward to Jelk’s next flanker in 2025, even if these variations are becoming a little bit akin to Marge Simpson’s Chanel jacket…!

Taking csgo skins mainly (knives, gloves, aks, m4s, awps and so on). Anything as long as offer is good
I don't update this list everyday, so I have many items which aren't listed here. Check if something interests you! Also, some of the items are on trade hold, for release date you can add me or check by yourself.
TRADE LINK: https://steamcommunity.com/tradeoffenew/?partner=35769104&token=J30wyEpy
Add me to talk here: https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561197996034832
Keys from these buy outs aren't TF2 keys. I don't take Hydra keys either.
Buy outs are in keys for the sake of having a buy out, I trade for skins mainly.
Gloves/wraps:
Gloves Cool Mint FT - B/O 74 keys
Gloves Smoke Out MW - B/O 61 keys
Gloves Finish Line MW - B/O 53 keys
Gloves Turtle MW - B/O 51 keys
Wraps Overprint FT - B/O 40 keys
Gloves Rezan MW - B/O 36 keys
Gloves Polygon FT - B/O 34 keys
Gloves Lt. Commander FT - B/O 33 keys
Gloves Mogul FT - B/O 32 keys
Gloves Overtake MW - B/O 31 keys
Wraps Leather FT - B/O 31 keys
Gloves Polygon WW - B/O 30 keys
Gloves Boom FT - B/O 29 keys
Gloves POW WW - B/O 28 keys
Gloves Cool Mint BS - B/O 28 keys
Gloves Smoke Out FT - B/O 27 keys
Gloves Mogul WW - B/O 26 keys
Gloves Lunar Weave FT - B/O 25 keys
Gloves Bronze Morph FT - B/O 24 keys
Gloves Turtle FT - B/O 23 keys
Gloves Diamondback FT - B/O 22 keys
Gloves Black Tie BS - B/O 21 keys
Gloves Jade FT - B/O 20 keys
Gloves Unhinhed MW - B/O 20 keys
Gloves 3rd Commmando Company MW - B/O 19 keys
Gloves Forest Ddpat FT - B/O 18 keys
Gloves Rezan FT - B/O 18 keys
Gloves Overtake FT - B/O 17 keys
Gloves Jade BS - B/O 16 keys
Wraps Constrictor MW - B/O 16 keys
Gloves Blood Pressure BS - B/O 16 keys
Gloves Needle Point MW - B/O 16 keys
Gloves Case Hardened BS - B/O 16 keys
Gloves POW BS - B/O 16 keys
Gloves Boom BS - B/O 15 keys
Gloves Diamondback BS - B/O 15 keys
Wraps Desert Shamagh MW - B/O 15 keys
Wraps Arboreal FT - B/O 14 keys
Gloves Finish Line BS - B/O 14 keys
Gloves Rezan BS - B/O 14 keys
Gloves Yellow-banded FT - B/O 14 keys
Gloves Buckshot FT - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Needle Point FT - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Unhinged FT - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Transport FT - B/O 13 keys
Wraps Constrictor FT - B/O 13 keys
Wraps Arboreal WW - B/O 13 keys
Wraps Duct Tape FT - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Bronzed FT - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Guerrilla FT - B/O 13 keys
Wraps Desert Shamagh FT - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Convoy FT - B/O 12 keys
Gloves Guerrilla BS - B/O 12 keys
Gloves Bronzed WW - B/O 12 keys
Gloves Overtake BS - B/O 12 keys
Wraps Constrictor BS - B/O 12 keys
Gloves Emerald FT - B/O 12 keys
Wraps Duct Tape WW - B/O 12 keys
Gloves Bronzed BS - B/O 11 keys
Gloves Convoy WW - B/O 11 keys
Gloves Mangrove MW - B/O 11 keys
Gloves 3rd Commando Company WW - B/O 11 keys
Gloves Yellow-banded BS - B/O 11 keys
Gloves Transport BS - B/O 11 keys
Gloves Rattler FT - B/O 10 keys
Gloves Emerald WW - B/O 10 keys
Gloves Emerald BS - B/O 10 keys
Gloves Racing Green FT - B/O 10 keys
Knives and high tier items:
AWP Fade FN - B/O 190 keys
Glock Emerald FN - B/O 100 keys
UMP Fade FN - B/O 85 keys
Butterfly Ultraviolet FT - B/O 150 keys
Butterfly Urban Masked FT - B/O 105 keys
Butterfly Safari Mesh WW - B/O 105 keys
Kukri Crimson Web MW - B/O 135 keys
Kukri Vanilla - B/O 112 keys
Karambit Lore FT - B/O 160 keys
Karambit Freehand FN - B/O 140 keys
Karambit Rust Coat BS - B/O 105 keys
Karambit Forest Ddpat FT - B/O 90 keys
Karambit Scorched FT - B/O 90 keys
Karambit Safari Mesh MW - B/O 90 keys
M9 Safari Mesh FT - B/O 73 keys
Bayonet Case Hardened MW - B/O 80 keys
Bayonet Freehand FN - B/O 64 keys
Bayonet Stained WW - B/O 44 keys
Bayonet Rust Coat BS - B/O 42 keys
Bayonet Night FT - B/O 42 keys
Bayonet Urban Masked FT - B/O 37 keys
Talon Vanilla - B/O 90 keys
Talon Night FT - B/O 53 keys
Talon Urban Masked WW - B/O 45 keys
Talon Boreal Forest FT - B/O 45 keys
Skeleton Safari Mesh FT - B/O 41 keys
Stiletto Ultraviolet WW - B/O 41 keys
Stiletto Night WW - B/O 35 keys
Stiletto Forest Ddpat MW - B/O 34 keys
Stiletto Forest Ddpat BS - B/O 30 keys
Classic Slaughter FN - B/O 70 keys
Classic Vanilla - B/O 57 keys
Classic Case Hardened BS - B/O 34 keys
Classic Stained FT - B/O 31 keys
Classic Night MW - B/O 29 keys
Clasic Urban Masked FT - B/O 24 keys
Classic Scorched BS - B/O 22 keys
Classic Urban Masked BS - B/O 21 keys
Flip Autotronic MW - B/O 61 keys
Flip Freehand MW - B/O 40 keys
Flip Bright Water FT - B/O 36 keys
Flip Ultraviolet WW - B/O 32 keys
Flip Urban Masked MW - B/O 31 keys
Flip Rust Coat BS - B/O 30 keys
Flip Boreal Forest FT - B/O 25 keys
Ursus Case Hardened FT - B/O 43 keys
Ursus Scorched MW - B/O 21 keys
Ursus Scorched FT - B/O 20 keys
Ursus Forest Ddpat Ft - B/O 19 keys
Ursus Safari Mesh WW - B/O 18 keys
Ursus Boreal Forest BS - B/O 18 keys
Nomad Fade FN - B/O 185 keys
Nomad Urban Masked MW - B/O 56 keys
Nomad Night FT - B/O 55 keys
Nomad Scorched MW - B/O 33 keys
Nomad Scorched FT - B/O 29 keys
Nomad Urban Masked BS - B/O 25 keys
Nomad Safari MEsh FT - B/O 25 keys
Huntsman Doppler FN - B/O 95 keys
Huntsman Slaughter MW - B/O 60 keys
Huntsman Case Hardened WW - B/O 40 keys
Huntsman Lore FT - B/O 36 keys
Huntsman Blue Steel FT - B/O 35 keys
Huntsman Autotronic BS - B/O 33 keys
Huntsman Crimson Web FT - B/O 31 keys
Huntsman Black Laminate WW - B/O 25 keys
Huntsman Bright Water MW - B/O 25 keys
Huntsman Freehand FT - B/o 23 keys
Huntsman Forest Ddpat MW - B/O 22 keys
Huntsman Ultraviolet FT - B/O 21 keys
Huntsman Ultraviolet BS - B/O 21 keys
Huntsman Scorched FT - B/O 20 keys
Huntsman Rust Coat BS - B/o 19 keys
Huntsman Safari Mesh BS - B/O 19 keys
Huntsman Boreal Forest FT - B/O 19 keys
Bowie Marble Fade FN - B/o 53 keys
Bowie Case Hardened MW - B/O 48 keys
Bowie Case Hardened FT - B/O 40 keys
Bowie Case Hardened BS - B/O 35 keys
Bowie Crimson Web WW - B/O 30 keys
Bowie Autotronic FT - B/O 29 keys
Bowie Freehand FT - B/o 23 keys
Bowie Bright Water FN - B/O 22 keys
Bowie Ultraviolet FT - B/O 20 keys
Bowie Bright Water FT - B/O 19 keys
Bowie Black Laminate WW - B/O 19 keys
Bowie Forest Ddpat WW - B/o 18 keys
Bowie Night BS - B/O 18 keys
Bowie Safari Mesh FT ST - B/O 18 keys
Bowie Boreal Forest FT - B/o 17 keys
Bowie Forest Ddpat FT - B/O 17 keys
Falchion Emerald FN - B/O 210 keys
Falchion Gamma Doppler FN P3 - B/O 80 keys
Falchion Lore FT - B/O 33 keys
Falchion Crimson Web FT - B/O 30 keys
Falchion Freehand FT - B/O 25 keys
Falchion Black Laminate MW - B/O 21 keys
Falchion Bright Water FT - B/O 21 keys
Falchion Safari Mesh MW ST - B/O 19 keys
Falchion Night BS - B/O 19 keys
Falchion Urban Masked BS - B/O 18 keys
Falchion Boreal Forest FT - B/O 18 keys
Paracord Stained FT - B/O 21 keys
Paracord Stained WW - B/O 20 keys
Paracord Safari Mesh FT - B/O 15 keys
Paracord Safari Mesh WW - B/O 15 keys
Survival Case Hardened MW - B/O 43 keys
Survival Case Hardened FT - B/O 35 keys
Survival Case Hardened WW - B/O 28 keys
Survival Case Hardened BS - B/O 27 keys
Survival Stained FT - B/O 21 keys
Survival Boreal Forest MW ST - B/O 19 keys
Survival Forest Ddpat FT - B/O 16 keys
Survival Safari Mesh MW - B/O 16 keys
Survival Boreal Forest BS - B/O 15 keys
Survival Safari Mesh WW - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Doppler FN P1 - B/O 38 keys
Navaja Vanilla - B/O 29 keys
Navaja Case Hardened FT - B/O 25 keys
Navaja Tiger Tooth FN - B/O 25 keys
Navaja Case hardened WW - B/O 21 keys
Navaja Damascus Steel FN - B/O 18 keys
Navaja Night Stripe BS ST - B/O 17 keys
Navaja Blue Steel MW - B/O 17 keys
Navaja Blue Steel BS - B/o 16 keys
Navaja Damascus Steel MW - B/o 16 keys
Navaja Blue Steel FT - B/O 16 keys
Navaja Damascus Steel WW - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Rust Coat BS - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Damascus Steel WW - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Rust Coat WW - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Damascus Steel FT - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Night MW - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Ultraviolet FT - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Stained WW - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Night FT ST - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Scorched MW - B/O 14 keys
Navaja Ultraviolet BS - B/O 14 keys
Navaja Boreal Forest MW - B/O 14 keys
Navaja Urban Masked WW - B/O 14 keys
Navaja Night FT - B/O 14 keys
Navaja Urban Masked FT - B/O 14 keys
Navaja Night BS - B/o 14 keys
Daggers Sapphire FN ST - B/o 110 keys
Daggers Tiger Tooth FN - B/O 26 keys
Daggers Case Hardened WW - B/O 22 keys
Daggers Case Hardened FT - B/O 22 keys
Daggers Crimson Web BS - B/O 18 keys
Daggers Autotronic FT - B/O 18 keys
Daggers Autotronic BS - B/O 17 keys
Daggers Damascus Steel MW - B/O 17 keys
Daggers Blue Steel WW - B/O 16 keys
Daggers Damascus Steel FT - B/O 15 keys
Daggers Urban Masked WW - B/O 15 keys
Daggers Ultraviolet BS - B/O 15 keys
Daggers Scorched WW - B/O 15 keys
Daggers Black Laminate MW - B/O 15 keys
Daggers Bright Water MW - B/O 15 keys
Daggers Boreal Forest MW - B/o 14 keys
Daggers Bright Water FT - B/O 14 keys
Daggers Night FT - B/O 14 keys
Daggers Forest Ddpat FT - B/O 14 keys

Hello! This is my list of Aprimon I'm hunting. I am extra interested in the ones in bold though. Hidden Abilities are a plus.
*Note: I am wary of trading with users with no FlairHQ flair. If you haven't at least accessed Poké Ball Flair I'm going to be less inclined to trade with you.
I am also willing to take all Apricorn Balls in exchange for my breedjects. They are in order of preference.

Moon Ball
Friend Ball
Dream Ball
Heavy Ball
Love Ball
Level Ball
Safari Ball
Lure Ball
Fast Ball
Sport Ball
Master Ball
Beast Ball

I am searching for:

Friend Ball

Burmy
Chatot
Doduo
Spinda
Tarountula
Wurmple

Moon Ball

Castform
Chatot
Frillish
Klawf
Spoink
Squawkabilly Blue Plumage

Love Ball

Glameow
Spritzee

Dream Ball

Burmy
Gulpin
Rellor

Heavy Ball

Karrablast
Scatterbug
Wiglett

Level Ball

Bidoof
Burmy
Castform
Corphish
Ekans
Finneon
Illumise
Ledyba
Luvdisc
Patrat
Pineco
Slakoth
Spinda
Spoink
Squawkabilly Yellow Plumage
Taillow
Tauros Blaze Breed
Wurmple

Lure Ball

Castform

Safari Ball

Smeargle

Apricorn Ball breedjects for trade -

These are all 4/6 - 5/6 - 6/6 IV breeding leftovers. Everything has the Hidden Ability where available. I'm also willing to breed something for you that's not on this list, if it can breed with any of these 👇

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Gen 1 Pokémon	Poké Ball	Ability
Bulbasaur	Friend	Chlorophyll (HA)
Charmander	Moon / Level / Dream / Luxury	Solar Power (HA)
Squirtle	Heavy / Moon / Beast	Rain Dish (HA)
Caterpie	Dream / Friend / Moon	Run Away (HA)
Weedle	Fast / Level	Run Away (HA)
Pidgey	Level	Big Pecks (HA)
Alolan Rattata	Moon / Dream	Thick Fat (HA)
Spearow	Level	Sniper (HA)
Kantonian Sandshrew	Level / Moon / Friend	Sand Rush (HA)
Alolan Sandshrew	Moon / Level	Slush Rush (HA)
Ekans	Dream	Unnerve (HA)
Nidoran♀	Moon / Dream / Love	Sheer Force (HA)
Nidoran♂	Moon / Dream / Love	Sheer Force (HA)
Clefairy	Dream / Love	Friend Guard (HA)
Oddish	Friend / Safari	Run Away (HA)
Paras	Friend	Damp (HA)
Venonat	Moon / Dream	Run Away (HA)
Kantonian Vulpix	Love / Dream / Moon	Drought (HA)
Alolan Vulpix	Moon / Love	Snow Warning (HA)
Zubat	Moon / Friend	Infiltrator (HA)
Kantonian Diglett	Heavy / Level	Sand Force (HA)
Alolan Diglett	Level / Heavy	Sand Force (HA)
Kantonian Meowth	Dream	Unnerve (HA)
Alolan Meowth	Moon / Dream	Rattled (HA)
Galarian Meowth	Heavy / Beast	Unnerve (HA)
Psyduck	Moon	Swift Swim (HA)
Kantonian Growlithe	Level / Fast	Justified (HA)
Hisuian Growlithe	Level / Fast	Rock Head (HA)
Mankey	Moon	Defiant (HA)
Poliwag	Beast / Friend / Lure	Swift Swim (HA)
Abra	Dream / Level	Magic Guard (HA)
Machop	Level / Friend	Steadfast (HA)
Bellsprout	Friend	Gluttony (HA)
Tentacool	Lure / Moon / Dream	Rain Dish (HA)
Kantonian Geodude	Heavy / Level	Sand Veil (HA)
Alolan Geodude	Heavy / Level	Galvanize (HA)
Kantonian Ponyta	Dream / Moon	Flame Body (HA)
Galarian Ponyta	Dream	Anticipation (HA)
Kantonian Slowpoke	Love / Dream	Regenerator (HA)
Galarian Slowpoke	Love / Dream / Level	Regenerator (HA)
Magnemite	Heavy	Magnet Pull/Sturdy
Galarian Farfetch'd	Friend	Scrappy (HA)
Doduo	Level / Dream	Tangled feet (HA)
Seel	Love / Moon	Ice Body (HA)
Kantonian Grimer	Dream	Poison Touch (HA)
Alolan Grimer	Dream / Friend	Power of Alchemy (HA)
Shellder	Moon / Beast	Overcoat (HA)
Gastly	Moon / Dream	Levitate (Only Ability)
Onix	Heavy	Weak Armor (HA)
Drowzee	Dream	Inner Focus (HA)
Krabby	Lure	Sheer Force (HA)
Kantonian Voltorb	Fast / Heavy / Premier	Aftermath (HA)
Hisuian Voltorb	Fast / Heavy / Premier	Aftermath (HA)
Exeggcute	Friend / Love	Harvest (HA)
Cubone	Moon / Friend	Battle Armor (HA)
Lickitung	Dream	Cloud Nine (HA)
Koffing	Moon / Friend / Dream	Stench (HA)
Rhyhorn	Moon / Heavy / Level	Reckless (HA)
Chansey	Dream / Love	Healer (HA)
Tangela	Friend	Regenerator (HA)
Kangaskhan	Heavy / Level	Inner Focus (HA)
Horsea	Dream	Damp (HA)
Goldeen	Lure	Lightning Rod (HA)
Staryu	Moon / Dream	Analytic (HA)
Kantonian Mr. Mime	Moon	Technician (HA)
Galarian Mr. Mime	Moon	Ice Body (HA)
Scyther	Sport / Level / Friend	Swarm/Technician
Pinsir	Level / Moon	Moxie (HA)
Kantonian Tauros	Level	Sheer Force (HA)
Paldean Tauros (Aqua Breed)	Lure / Moon	Cud Chew (HA)
Magikarp	Dream / Moon / Love / Level	Rattled (HA)
Lapras	Love / Dream / Beast	Hydration (HA)
Eevee	Lure / Fast / Level / Dream / Moon / Friend / Heavy / Love	Anticipation (HA)
Porygon	Beast	Download (No HA)
Omanyte	Dream	Weak Armor (HA)
Kabuto	Friend / Level	Weak Armor (HA)
Aerodactyl	Dream	Rock Head/Pressure
Snorlax	Heavy / Moon	Gluttony (HA)
Dratini	Moon / Love / Dream	Marvel Scale (HA)

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Gen 2 Pokémon	Poké Ball	Ability
Chikorita	Friend	Leaf Guard (HA)
Cyndaquil	Moon / Level	Blaze/Flash Fire (HA)
Sentret	Level / Dream	Frisk (HA)
Hoothoot	Friend / Dream / Moon / Level	Tinted Lens (HA)
Spinarak	Dream / Moon	Sniper (HA)
Chinchou	Dream	Water Absorb (HA)
Pichu	Fast / Dream	Lightning Rod (HA)
Igglybuff	Love	Friend Guard (HA)
Togepi	Moon / Dream / Luxury	Super Luck (HA)
Natu	Friend	Magic Bounce (HA)
Mareep	Dream / Love / Fast	Plus (HA)
Marill	Love / Moon / Level	Huge Power
Sudowoodo	Friend	Rattled (HA)
Hoppip	Dream	Infiltrator (HA)
Aipom	Dream	Skill Link (HA)
Sunkern	Friend	Early Bird (HA)
Yanma	Moon	Frisk (HA)
Johtonian Wooper	Dream	Unaware (HA)
Paldean Wooper	Safari / Friend / Level / Heavy	Unaware (HA)
Murkrow	Moon / Dream	Prankster (HA)
Misdreavus	Moon	Levitate
Wobbuffet	Dream	Telepathy (HA)
Girafarig	Dream	Sap Sipper (HA)
Pineco	Safari	Sturdy
Dunsparce	Dream / Moon	Rattled (HA)
Gligar	Dream / Moon	Immunity (HA)
Snubbull	Dream	Rattled (HA)
Johtonian Qwilfish	Dream / Moon	Intimidate (HA)
Hisuian Qwilfish	Dream / Moon	Intimidate (HA)
Shuckle	Heavy	Contrary (HA)
Heracross	Love / Dream	Moxie (HA)
Sneasel	Moon / Dream	Pickpocket (HA)
Teddiursa	Moon / Friend	Honey Gather (HA)
Slugma	Dream / Heavy	Weak Armor (HA)
Swinub	Moon / Beast	Thick Fat (HA)
Galarian Corsola	Moon	Cursed Body (HA)
Remoraid	Dream / Level	Moody (HA)
Delibird	Moon / Dream	Insomnia (HA)
Mantine	Lure / Moon	Water Veil (HA)
Skarmory	Heavy	Sturdy
Houndour	Heavy / Moon	Unnerve (HA)
Phanpy	Heavy / Level	Sand Veil (HA)
Stantler	Dream / Friend / Moon	Sap Sipper (HA)
Smeargle	Level	Moody (HA)
Tyrogue	Dream / Level / Friend	Vital Spirit (HA)
Smoochum	Dream / Moon	Hydration (HA)
Elekid	Heavy	Vital Spirit (HA)
Magby	Love / Dream	Vital Spirit (HA)
Miltank	Moon	Sap Sipper (HA)
Larvitar	Friend / Safari	Guts

-

Gen 3 Pokémon	Poké Ball	Ability
Treecko	Friend	Unburden (HA)
Torchic	Fast	Blaze/Speed Boost (HA)
Mudkip	Lure	Damp (HA)
Poochyena	Level	Rattled (HA)
Galarian Zigzagoon	Moon / Beast	Quick Feet (HA)
Wurmple	Dream	Run Away (HA)
Lotad	Friend	Own Tempo (HA)
Seedot	Friend	Pickpocket (HA)
Taillow	Dream	Scrappy (HA)
Wingull	Dream	Rain Dish (HA)
Ralts	Friend / Moon	Synchronize/Trace
Surskit	Friend	Rain Dish (HA)
Shroomish	Friend	Quick Feet (HA)
Slakoth	Dream	Truant
Nincada	Moon / Level	Run Away (HA)
Whismur	Dream	Rattled (HA)
Makuhita	Dream	Sheer Force (HA)
Nosepass	Heavy / Level	Sand Force (HA)
Skitty	Moon / Dream	Wonder Skin (HA)
Sableye	Moon / Heavy / Dream	Prankster (HA)
Mawile	Moon / Heavy	Sheer Force (HA)
Aron	Heavy	Sturdy/Rock Head
Meditite	Dream / Heavy / Moon	Telepathy (HA)
Electrike	Fast / Heavy	Minus (HA)
Plusle	Fast	Lightning Rod (HA)
Minun	Fast	Volt Absorb (HA)
Illumise	Moon	Prankster (HA)
Volbeat	Moon / Level	Prankster (HA)
Roselia	Friend	Natural Cure/Poison Point
Gulpin	Moon	Gluttony (HA)
Carvanha	Dream / Lure / Friend	Speed Boost (HA)
Wailmer	Dream	Pressure (HA)
Numel	Moon / Level	Own Tempo (HA)
Torkoal	Level	Shell Armor (HA)
Spoink	Dream / Heavy	Gluttony (HA)
Trapinch	Friend	Sheer Force (HA)
Cacnea	Friend / Level	Water Absorb (HA)
Swablu	Love / Level	Cloud Nine (HA)
Zangoose	Moon	Toxic Boost (HA)
Seviper	Dream	Infiltrator (HA)
Lunatone	Moon	Levitate (Only Ability)
Solrock	Level	Levitate (Only Ability)
Barboach	Level	Hydration (HA)
Corphish	Lure	Adaptability (HA)
Baltoy	Dream	Levitate (Only Ability)
Lileep	Dream	Storm Drain (HA)
Anorith	Level	Swift Swim (HA)
Feebas	Dream / Love / Beast / Moon / Level	Adaptability (HA)
Kecleon	Friend	Protean (HA)
Shuppet	Moon	Cursed Body (HA)
Duskull	Moon	Levitate
Tropius	Friend	Harvest (HA)
Chimecho	Dream / Moon	Levitate (Only Ability)
Absol	Moon / Dream	Justified
Snorunt	Moon	Moody (HA)
Spheal	Dream / Love	Oblivious (HA)
Clamperl	Dream / Love / Friend	Rattled (HA)
Relicanth	Heavy	Sturdy (HA)
Luvdisc	Love	Hydration (HA)
Bagon	Moon / Friend / Beast	Sheer Force (HA)
Beldum	Heavy	Light Metal (HA)

-

Gen 4 Pokémon	Poké Ball	Ability
Turtwig	Friend	Shell Armor (HA)
Chimchar	Love / Friend / Dream / Level	Iron Fist (HA)
Piplup	Heavy	Defiant (HA)
Starly	Moon	Reckless (HA)
Kricketot	Friend / Level / Sport	Run Away (HA)
Shinx	Moon / Level	Guts (HA)
Cranidos	Heavy	Sheer Force (HA)
Shieldon	Heavy / Level	Soundproof (HA)
Burmy	Dream	Overcoat (HA)
Combee	Sport	Hustle (HA)
Pachirisu	Dream	Volt Absorb (HA)
Buizel	Level / Fast	Water Veil (HA)
Cherubi	Love	Chlorophyll (Only Ability)
Shellos (West Sea Form)	Friend	Sand Force (HA)
Shellos (West Sea Form)	Dream	Sand Force (HA)
Drifloon	Moon / Dream	Flare Boost (HA)
Buneary	Dream / Love	Limber (HA)
Glameow	Dream	Keen Eye (HA)
Stunky	Dream	Keen Eye (HA)
Bronzor	Heavy / Friend	Heavy Metal (HA)
Spiritomb	Moon	Infiltrator (HA)
Gible	Moon	Rough Skin (HA)
Riolu	Moon	Prankster (HA)
Hippopotas	Level	Sand Force (HA)
Skorupi	Dream	Keen Eye (HA)
Croagunk	Moon	Poison Touch (HA)
Carnivine	Friend	Levitate (Only Ability)
Finneon	Moon	Water veil (HA)
Snover	Friend	Soundproof (HA)
Rotom	Dream / Friend / Moon / Lure / Level	Levitate (Only Ability)

-

Gen 5 Pokémon	Poké Ball	Ability
Snivy	Freind	Contrary (HA)
Tepig	Heavy	Thick Fat (HA)
Oshawott	Moon / Beast	Shell Armor (HA)
Lillipup	Level	Run Away (HA)
Purrloin	Moon / Dream	Prankster (HA)
Munna	Dream / Love	Telepathy (HA)
Pidove	Heavy	Rivalry (HA)
Blitzle	Fast	Sap Sipper (HA)
Roggenrola	Moon / Heavy	Sand Force (HA)
Woobat	Love Simple (HA)
Drillbur	Heavy	Mold Breaker (HA)
Audino	Dream / Love	Klutz (HA)
Tympole	Lure	Water Absorb (HA)
Throh	Dream	Mold Breaker (HA)
Sawk	Moon	Mold Breaker (HA)
Sewaddle	Friend	Overcoat (HA)
Venipede	Dream	Speed Boost (HA)
Cottonee	Friend	Chlorophyll (HA)
Petilil	Friend	Leaf Guard (HA)
Basculin Red	Dream	Mold Breaker (HA)
Basculin Blue	Dream	Mold Breaker (HA)
Basculin White	Dream / Moon / Friend	Mold Breaker (HA)
Sandile	Moon / Level / Dream / Love	Anger Point (HA)
Unovan Darumaka	Dream / Level / Love	Inner Focus (HA)
Galarian Darumaka	Moon / Love / Beast / Dream	Inner Focus (HA)
Maractus	Friend	Storm Drain (HA)
Dwebble	Level / Friend	Weak Armor (HA)
Scraggy	Level	Intimidate (HA)
Sigilyph	Dream / Level	Tinted Lens (HA)
Yamask	Moon	Mummy (Only Ability)
Galarian Yamask	Moon	Wandering Spirit (Only Ability)
Tirtouga	Heavy / Moon / Dream	Swift Swim (HA)
Archen	Level	Defeatist (Only Ability)
Trubbish	Heavy	Aftermath (HA)
Zorua	Moon	Illusion (Only Ability)
Hisuian Zorua	Moon / Premier	Illusion (Only Ability)
Minccino	Level	Skill Link (HA)
Gothita	Dream / Luxury	Shadow Tag (HA)
Solosis	Dream / Friend	Regenerator (HA)
Ducklett	Moon	Hydration (HA)
Vanillite	Dream / Moon	Weak Armor (HA)
Deerling	Friend / Level / Love / Dream / Moon	Serene Grace (HA)
Emolga	Fast	Motor Drive (HA)
Karrablast	Level	No Guard (HA)
Foongus	Moon / Heavy	Regenerator (HA)
Frillish	Dream	Damp (HA)
Alomomola	Love	Regenerator (HA)
Joltik	Level	Swarm (HA)
Ferroseed	Friend / Heavy	Iron Barbs (Only Ability)
Klink	Heavy / Moon	Clear Body (HA)
Tynamo	Fast / Lure / Level	Levitate (Only Ability)
Elgyem	Dream	Analytic (HA)
Litwick	Moon	Infiltrator (HA)
Axew	Moon / Beast	Unnerve (HA)
Cubchoo	Moon / Dream	Rattled (HA)
Cryogonal	Moon	Levitate (Only Ability)
Shelmet	Heavy	Overcoat (HA)
Unovan Stunfisk	Friend / Level / Fast	Sand Veil (HA)
Galarian Stunfisk	Friend	Mimicry (Only Ability)
Mienfoo	Dream / Level / Moon	Reckless (HA)
Druddigon	Moon / Friend	Mold Breaker (HA)
Golett	Moon	No Guard (HA)
Pawniard	Moon / Heavy	Pressure (HA)
Bouffalant	Level	Soundproof (HA)
Rufflet	Dream / Heavy / Moon	Hustle (HA)
Vullaby	Heavy / Moon / Dream	Weak Armor (HA)
Heatmor	Heavy / Level	White Smoke (HA)
Durant	Heavy	Truant (HA)
Deino	Moon	Hustle (HA)
Larvesta	Friend / Sport	Swarm (HA)

-

Gen 6 Pokémon	Poké Ball	Ability
Fennekin	Dream / Love / Level / Moon	Magician (HA)
Froakie	Moon	Protean (HA)
Bunnelby	Level	Huge Power (HA)
Fletchling	Level	Gale Wings (HA)
Litleo	Level	Moxie (HA)
Flabébé (Red Flower)	Love / Dream	Symbiosis (HA)
Flabébé (Orange Flower)	Fast / Level / Friend	Symbiosis (HA)
Flabébé (Yellow Flower)	Fast / Level	Symbiosis (HA)
Flabébé (Blue Flower)	Moon / Friend	Symbiosis (HA)
Flabébé (White Flower)	Moon / Friend	Symbiosis (HA)
Skiddo	Friend	Grass Pelt (HA)
Pancham	Moon / Heavy / Level	Scrappy (HA)
Furfrou	Friend / Moon / Love / Heavy / Level / Lure / Fast / Beast	Fur Coat (Only Ability)
Espurr	Dream	Own Tempo (HA)
Honedge	Moon	No Guard (Only Ability)
Spritzee	Love	Aroma Veil (HA)
Swirlix	Love	Unburden (HA)
Inkay	Dream	Infiltrator (HA)
Binacle	Heavy	Pickpocket (HA)
Skrelp	Moon	Adaptability (HA)
Clauncher	Lure	Mega Launcher (Only Ability)
Helioptile	Level	Solar Power (HA)
Tyrunt	Heavy / Moon	Sturdy (HA)
Amaura	Moon / Love	Snow Warning (HA)
Hawlucha	Friend / Moon / Dream	Mold Breaker (HA)
Dedenne	Fast	Plus (HA)
Carbink	Dream / Dream	Sturdy (HA)
Goomy	Dream / Love / Moon / Level / Friend / Lure / Heavy	Gooey (HA)
Klefki	Dream	Magician (HA)
Phantump	Moon	Harvest (HA)
Pumpkaboo (Small Size)	Moon	Insomnia (HA)
Pumpkaboo (Average Size)	Moon	Insomnia (HA)
Pumpkaboo (Large Size)	Moon	Insomnia (HA)
Pumpkaboo (Super Size)	Moon	Insomnia (HA)
Bergmite	Moon / Premier	Sturdy (HA)
Noibat	Moon	Telepathy (HA)

-

Gen 7 Pokémon	Poké Ball	Ability
Rowlet	Moon	Long Reach (HA)
Litten	Luxury	Intimidate (HA)
Popplio	Love	Liquid Voice (HA)
Pikipek	Level	Pickup (HA)
Yungoos	Dream / Friend	Adaptability (HA)
Grubbin	Fast	Swarm (Only Ability)
Crabrawler	Lure	Anger Point (HA)
Oricorio (Baile Style)	Love	Dancer (Only Ability)
Oricorio (Pom-Pom Style)	Fast	Dancer (Only Ability)
Oricorio (Pa'u Style)	Dream	Dancer (Only Ability)
Oricorio (Sensu Style)	Moon	Dancer (Only Ability)
Cutiefly	Love / Dream	Sweet Veil (HA)
Rockruff	Moon	Steadfast (HA)
Rockruff	Moon	Own Tempo (Dusk Lycanroc)
Wishiwashi	Moon / Lure	Schooling (Only Ability)
Mareanie	Moon / Lure	Reverberator (HA)
Mudbray	Heavy	Inner Focus (HA)
Dewpider	Lure	Water Absorb (HA)
Fomantis	Friend	Contrary (HA)
Morelull	Love	Rain Dish (HA)
Salandit	Love / Moon / Sport	Oblivious (HA)
Stufful	Love	Cute Charm (HA)
Bounsweet	Dream / Friend	Sweet Veil (HA)
Comfey	Dream	Natural Cure (HA)
Oranguru	Dream
Passimian	Friend
Wimpod	Heavy	Wimp Out
Sandygast	Moon	Sand Veil (HA)
Pyukumuku	Dream	Unaware (HA)
Minior (Red Core)	Moon	Shields Down (Only Ability)
Minior (Orange Core)	Moon	Shields Down (Only Ability)
Minior (Yellow Core)	Moon	Shields Down (Only Ability)
Minior (Green Core)	Moon	Shields Down (Only Ability)
Minior (Blue Core)	Moon	Shields Down (Only Ability)
Minior (Indigo Core)	Moon	Shields Down (Only Ability)
Minior (Violet Core)	Moon	Shields Down (Only Ability)
Komala	Love	Comatose (Only Ability)
Turtonator	Heavy / Beast	Shell Armor (Only Ability)
Togedemaru	Fast	Sturdy (HA)
Mimikyu	Moon	Disguise (Only Ability)
Bruxish	Dream	Wonder Skin (HA)
Drampa	Moon / Dream	Cloud Nine (HA)
Dhelmise	Friend / Moon	Steelworker (Only Ability)
Jangmo-o	Heavy / Love	Overcoat (HA)

-

Gen 8 Pokémon	Poké Ball	Ability
Grookey	Friend	Grassy Surge (HA)
Scorbunny	Level	Libero (HA)
Sobble	Dream / Love	Sniper (HA)
Skwovet	Level	Gluttony (HA)
Rookidee	Heavy	Big Pecks (HA)
Blipbug	Moon / Dream	Telepathy (HA)
Nickit	Moon	Stakout (HA)
Gossifleur	Friend	Effect Spore (HA)
Wooloo	Moon / Love	Bulletproof (HA)
Chewtle	Friend	Swift Swim (HA)
Yamper	Fast	Rattled (HA)
Rolycoly	Level / Heavy	Flash Fire (HA)
Applin	Friend	Bulletproof (HA)
Silicobra	Level	Sand Veil (HA)
Cramorant	Moon	Gulp Missile (Only Ability)
Arrokuda	Level	Propeller Tail (HA)
Toxel	Dream	Klutz (HA)
Sizzlipede	Level	Flame Body (HA)
Clobbopus	Level	Technician (HA)
Sinistea	Moon / Love / Sport	Cursed Body (HA)
Hatenna	Moon	Magic Bounce (HA)
Impidimp	Moon / Dream / Friend	Pickpocket (HA)
Milcery	Love	Aroma veil (HA)
Falinks	Level	Defiant (HA)
Pincurchin	Fast	Electric Surge (HA)
Snom	Friend	Icicle Scales (HA)
Stonjourner	Heavy	Power Spot
Eiscue	Moon / Dream	Ice Face (Only Ability)
Indeedee	Love / Dream	Psychic Surge (HA)
Morpeko	Fast	Hunger Switch (Only Ability)
Cufant	Heavy	Heavy Metal (HA)
Duraludon	Heavy	Stalwart (HA)
Dreepy	Moon / Friend	Cursed Body (HA)

-

Gen 9 Pokémon	Poké Ball	Ability
Lechonk	Heavy / Moon / Love / Dream Level /	Thick Fat (HA)
Nymble	Moon	Tinted Lens (HA)
Pawmi	Fast	Iron Fist (HA)
Tandemaus	Premier	Own Tempo (HA)
Fidough	Love	Klutz (HA)
Smoliv	Friend	Harvest (HA)
Squawkabilly (Green)	Friend	Guts (HA)
Nacli	Heavy	Clear Body (HA)
Charcadet	Moon / Level	Flame Body (HA)
Tadbulb	Fast	Damp (HA)
Wattrel	Fast	Competitive (HA)
Maschiff	Moon	Stakeout (HA)
Shroodle	Moon / Safari / Friend	Prankster (HA)
Capsakid	Friend	Klutz (HA)
Bramblin	Friend / Moon	Infiltrator (HA)
Toedscool	Friend	Mycelium Might (Only Ability)
Klawf	Level	Regenerator (HA)
Flittle	Dream	Speed Boost (HA)
Tinkatink	Love / Dream	Pickpocket (HA)
Wiglett	Moon / Lure	Sand Veil (HA)
Bombirdier	Moon / Level	Rocky Payload (HA)
Finizen	Lure	Water Veil (Only Ability)
Varoom	Heavy	Slow Start (HA)
Cyclizar	Friend	Regenerator (HA)
Orthworm	Heavy	Sand Veil (HA)
Glimmet	Moon	Corrosion (HA)
Greavard	Moon	Fluffy (HA)
Flamigo	Dream / Love	Costar (HA)
Cetoddle	Moon / Heavy	Sheer Force (HA)
Veluza	Dream / Friend	Sharpness (HA)
Dondozo	Moon	Water Veil (HA)
Tatsugiri (Curly Form)	Moon	Storm Drain (HA)
Tatsugiri (Droopy Form)	Moon	Storm Drain (HA)
Tatsugiri (Stretchy Form)	Moon	Storm Drain (HA)
Frigibax	Moon	Ice Body (HA)
Poltchageist	Friend	Heatproof (HA)

Prices are subjective, negotiable, and do not include shipping. If you would like to trade, check out my thread on /gameswap. Also accepting Cashapp and Venmo. One Freebie per order. Photos upon request.

Storage Solutions	Price	Condition
Thin Jewel Case for CD/DVD/Blu-Ray	1/per	New. Clear front, black back
Standard Jewel Case for CD/DVD/Blu-Ray	1/per	New. Clear front and back
Genesis/Famicom Retro Protection	1/per	New, PET acid-free plastic cartridge protector
Super Famicom Cartridge Retro Protection	1/per	New, PET acid-free plastic cartridge protector
SNES Cartridge Retro Protection	1/per	New, PET acid-free plastic cartridge protector
NES Cartridge Retro Protection	1/per	New, PET acid-free plastic cartridge protector

amiibo	Price	Condition
Tears of the Kingdom Link	25	Loose
Ocarina of Time Link	25	Loose
Majora's Mask Link	30	Loose
Smash Bros. Link	20	Loose
Skyward Sword Link	20	Loose
Zelda & Loftwing	15	Loose
Wind Waker Link	20	Loose
Wind Waker Zelda	20	Loose
Twilight Princess Link	50	Loose
Wolf Link and Midna	25	Loose
Callie	20	Loose
Marie	20	Loose
Inkling Boy [Neon Green]	15	Loose
Inkling Girl [Neon Pink]	25	Loose
Inkling Squid [Neon Purple]	17	Loose
Splatoon 2 Pearl	20	Loose
Splatoon 2 Marina	20	Loose
Splatoon 3 Inkling [Yellow]	22	Loose
Splatoon 3 Octoling [Blue]	20	Loose
Splatoon 3 Small Fry	20	Loose
Zelda Loftwing	30	New In Box
Sanrio amiibo cards	12	Sealed Pack
Mario Cereal Box	15	Cereal Removed/Flattened
Isabelle Summer Outfit	40	Open Box
Cyrus/K.K./Reese	18	New In Box/Damaged box
Tom Nook	12	New In Box
Mabel	9	New In Box

Digital Codes	Price	Condition
SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD-STANDARD EDITION-US	10	Switch Digital Code

Figures	Price	Condition
Chrono Trigger Chrono (Crono)/Robo/Eira (Ayla) Formation Arts Figure	100	Loose figure, most limbs are detachable by design, no missing parts
Pit Figma Figure	90	First Edition, Open Box, Contains everything but AR cards
Lillie (Pokemon) Nendoroid	300	Sealed. US edition from the Pokemon Center
Pixel Pal Mega Man	30	Sealed, damaged box
Pixel Pal SMB3 Mario	30	Sealed
Pixel Pal SMB3 Luigi	30	Sealed
Tracer Nendoroid (730)	30	Sealed
Tracer (Blizzard Entertainment Cute But Deadly Series 2 Vinyl)	8	Loose figure

Switch	Price	Condition
Adventure Acedamia	30	Sealed
Atelier Ryza 3	90	Complete in Box
Azure Striker Gunvolt Striker Pack	40	Sealed
Bendy and the Ink Machine	30	Complete in Box
Cruel King and the Great Hero Storybook Edition	60	Complete in Box
Ender Lilies	55	Sealed, Japan Import
Grim Fandango Remastered	45	Complete in Box, no slip cover
Labyrinth of Refrain	65	Loose
Legend of Zelda Tears of the Kingdom	60	Sealed
Metroid Dread Collector's Edition	110	Sealed, a few dings associated with shipping
Monster Hunter Stories 2 Collector's Edition	160	Sealed
The Mummy Demastered	55	Complete in Box
River City Girls	120	Complete in Box, US Copy, Best Buy Variant
Shadowverse Champion's Battle	15	Loose
Shantae	50	Sealed
Shantae Risky's Revenge	50	Sealed
Shantae Collector's Edition	150	Sealed
Shantae Risky's Revenge Collector's Edition	150	Sealed
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Cowabunga Collection	30	Sealed
Wonder Boy: The Dragon's Trap	40	Complete in Box
Yu-Gi-Oh Legacy of the Duelist: Link Evolution	18	Loose

Wii	Price	Condition
Batallion Wars 2	11	Game and Case
Castle of Shikigami III	75	Complete in Box
Okami	10	Game and Case

WiiU Games	Price	Condition
Batman Arkham City Armored Edition	40	Sealed
Disney Infinity 2.0	15	Sealed
Nintendoland	10	Complete in Box
Star Fox Guard	10	Complete in Box
Turbo Super Stunt Squad	200	Complete in Box, Art/Manual damage

DS	Price	Condition
Animal Crossing Wild World	35	Game, Case, and inserts. No Manual
Final Fantasy Fables Chocobo's Dungeon DS+	25	Complete in Box, Japanese Import
Izuna 2 The Unemployed Ninja Returns	70	Loose
Super Scribblenauts	5	Loose

3DS	Price	Condition
Kid Icarus Uprising (Japanese)	40	Game, Manual, and Case (No Big Box)
Kid Icarus Uprising	120	Complete in Box, Includes Big Box, Stand and AR cards
Senran Kagura Deep Crimson Double D Edition	75	Sealed

GBA	Price	Condition
Car Battler Joe	180	Loose. Label imperfections
Chocobo Land A Game of Dice	15	Loose
Lady Sia	30	Loose, EU import
Lady Sia	50	Loose. Label imperfections
Super Mario Advance	13	No label

GB	Price	Condition
Alleyway	5	Loose
Kid Dracula	240	Loose

NES	Price	Condition
Adventure Island II	25	Loose
Faria	200	Game and Box. Box has some wear
Kid Icarus	180	Game, Box, and Manual; Box shows wear; Protective case for box and manual included
Rainbow Islands	35	Loose
Super Mario Bros & Duck Hunt	10	Loose

SNES	Price	Condition
Metal Marines	90	Loose
Secret of Mana	55	Loose
Super Punch-Out	25	Loose
Super Scope 6	22	Loose
Wild Guns	270	Loose, Bad Label Damage

Gamecube	Price	Condition
Cubivore	350	Loose disc
Pikmin	50	Player's Choice, Complete In Box
Star Fox Assault	30	Loose disc
Resident Evil 0	15	Player's Choice, Case and Discs, no manual
Resident Evil	25	Player's Choice, Complete In Box
Resident Evil	27	Complete In Box
Resident Evil 4	30	Complete In Box, Disc 2 has label wrinkles
Super Mario Sunshine	40	Game and case, no manual

Sega Genesis	Price	Condition
Jurrassic Park	10	Loose cartridge, Sharpie on Label
Phantasy Star IV	70	Loose cartridge, Label Damage
Quackshot	40	Complete In Box
Rocket Knight Adventures	37	Loose cartridge, Label Damage
Spider-Man	12	Loose cartridge, Label Damage

Sega Saturn	Price	Condition
NiGHTS Into Dreams	40	Complete in Box, Not for Resale Edition
Night Warriors Darkstalkers' Revenge	50	Loose

Sega Dreamcast	Price	Condition
Project Justice	225	Complete in Box, page 2 detached from manual.
Power Stone 2	90	Loose

PSP	Price	Condition
Daxter	10	Loose, Greatest Hits, Not For Resale
Power Stone Collection	30	Loose
Silent Hill Origins	50	Game and Case

PS1	Price	Condition
Castlevania Chronicles	165	Complete in Box
Chocobo Racing	55	Loose
Chocobo no Fushigi na Dungeon	20	Complete in Box, Japanese Import
Chocobo's Dungeon 2	70	Complete in Box, Manual is badly water damaged
Dark Stalkers	70	Loose slim case version
Dark Stalkers 3	50	Disc and Manual, no back art
Rival Schools	130	Complete in Box
Silent Hill	105	Loose disc, Greatest Hits
Valkyrie Profile	325	Discs and Case, no manual
World of Dragon Warrior Torneko The Last Hope	90	Loose
Xenogears	150	Complete in Box

PS2	Price	Condition
Avatar The Last Airbender	10	Disc and Case
Baldur's Gate Dark Alliance	17	Complete in Box; Greatest Hits
Bully	15	Greatest Hits, game & artwork
Burnout 3 Takedown	11	Complete, Water Damage on back cover art
Burnout Dominator	9	Case and Disc, Disc has superficial scratches but still boots
Castlevania Curse of Darkness	60	Loose, Disc has light scratching
Crash Bandicoot The Wrath of Cortex	10	Greatest Hits, Used, Disc and Case
Dragon Ball Z Budokai	11	Complete in Box
Dragon Ball Z Budokai Tenkaichi	15	Complete in Box; Greatest Hits
Final Fantasy X	6	Greatest Hits, Used, Disc and Case
Final Fantasy X-2	6	Complete; Greatest Hits
Haunting Ground	300	Complete in Box, Water Damage on art and manual
Killzone	15	Complete in Box
Grand Theft Auto Vice City	10	Disc, Case, Poster, No Manual
.Hack Infection	20	Complete in Box, Includes Anime DVD
.Hack Mutation	45	Complete in Box, Includes Anime DVD
.Hack Outbreak	65	Complete in Box, Includes Anime DVD
.Hack Quaratine	300	Discs and Case, no manual
Marvel vs Capcom 2	60	Cracked Disc, won't boot for me. Comes with case, no manual
Metal Gear Solid 2 Sons of Liberty	10	Greatest Hits, Used, Disc and Case
Naruto Ultimate Ninja 2	10	Disc and Case
Need for Speed Underground	10	Greatest Hits, Used, Disc and Case
Need for Speed Underground 2	24	Complete in Box
Need for Speed Hot Pursuit 2	10	Greatest Hits, Used, Disc and Case
Resident Evil Dead Aim	50	Game and Case, No manual
Scarface	40	Complete; Greatest Hits
Simpsons Road Rage	15	Loose, Greatest Hits
Valkyrie Profile 2	40	Complete In Box, some wear on the artwork and manual
Tekken Tag Tournament	10	Disc and Case, Greatest Hits, Full side Movie Gallery sticker on DVD face

PS3	Price	Condition
Sports Champions	10	Complete in Box

PS4	Price	Condition
APEX Construct	15	Sealed
Gravity Rush Remastered	60	Loose
J-Stars Victory VS+	30	Loose
SteamWorld Dig 2	20	Sealed

PS5	Price	Condition
Battlefield 2042	20	Complete in Box
Final Fantasy VII Rebirth Deluxe Eiditon	150	Sealed

XBOX One	Price	Condition
Watchdogs	15	Sealed

Consoles	Price	Condition
Monster Hunter Rise Edition Switch	420	New in Box (No game code)
Oculus Quest 1	180	Complete in Box
Playstation 2 w/FreeMcBoot	80	Original PS2 "Fat" system. Won't read PS1 or blue PS2 discs. Laser could be ready to go bad, or just need re-alignment. Comes with a Yellow PS2 Memory Card that has FreeMcBoot on it. Free McBoot will allow you to to play games off of a hard drive if desired. No cords/controllers included.
Pokemon Scarlet/Violet Edition OLED Switch	400	New In Box
SNES Jr.	120	Includes Deck, RF Coax Cable, Third Party AC Adapter, and Third Party Controller. Small crack on the corner.
Splatoon 3 Edition OLED Switch	400	New In Box

Controllers	Price	Condition
FortniteWildcat Joy-Con Set	120	Comes from the Fortnite Edition Console, never used
Joy-Con Grip	8	Bagged/Unused - Came with console
Oculus Quest 1/Rift S Left Controller	115	Used but very good condition. Comes with silicon case
Oculus Quest 1/Rift S Right Controller	115	Used but very good condition. Comes with silicon case
Platinum Gamecube Controller	20	Third Party, no nintendo logo, wired, good condition
Joy-Con (Left/Gray)	35	Good, no drift
Joy-Con (Right/Neon Red)	35	Good, no drift, Factory refurbished
SNES Controller	10	Third Party, no nintendo logo
SPIN Z WiiU Pro Controller	25	Black, Near Mint

Misc.	Price	Condition
Chocobo White Mage Plush	20	Good
Chocobo Mystery Dungeon Everybuddy Pin	5	Thief costume
Chocobo's Dungeon Card Game Monsters Expansion Pack	25	Sealed
Black MagicGate 8MB PS2 Memory Card	20	Has Free McBoot loaded onto the card
Yellow Nyko MagicGate 8MB PS2 Memory Card	20	Has Free McBoot loaded onto the card
The Art of Splatoon 2	300	Sealed
Mario Kart 8 Target Pre-Order Keychain	10	Sealed. Cut in the film.
Nintendo Switch AC Adapter	20	Gently used
Nintendo 64 Memory Jumper Pack	20	OEM/Authentic Regular Pack, not to be confused with the expansion
Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Pre-Order Coin	15	Sealed
Breath of the Wild Sheikah Coin	25	From BotW Special Edition, Good condition
Pokken Art Cel Pre-Order Bonus	7	Sealed
Blastoise New 3DS Plates	200	Plates are mint and unused
Nintendo 3DS Stand	30	OEM, Came with Kid Icarus Uprising
Kid Icarus Uprising Players Guide (Imported from Japan, no AR cards)	30	Shows a little wear
Kid Icarus AR Card Set (205/404)	600	Contains 249/402 different North American (AKDE) cards, no duplicates. An itemized list can be provided upon request.
Kid Icarus AR - Pit Rally Cry Sealed Pack	20	Sealed pack of cards that contains AKDE-403,014,086
Shantae Risky's Revenge 2 LP Soundtrack Vinyl	55	Sealed
Super Mario Wonder Framed Art Print	25	Comes from Best Buy, Sealed
Tears of the Kingdom Pin Set (The Legend of Zelda)	20	From the TotK Collector's Edition. Mint
Tears of the Kingdom Art Book (The Legend of Zelda)	65	From the TotK Collector's Edition. Mint
Tears of the Kingdom Poster (The Legend of Zelda)	20	From the TotK Collector's Edition. Mint
Portal 2 Wheatley LED Flashlight	120	Sealed

Cases/Boxes/Inserts	Price	Condition
Chrono Trigger Manual	100	SNES, Slight Wear
Chrono Trigger Orange Border Map	80	Slight Water Damage, 2 Pin holes in the folds, frame optional
Chrono Trigger Green Border Map	80	Slight Water Damage
Disgaea 1 Rosen Queen Edition	150	Everything but the game
Dragon Ball Z Budokai Tenkaichi	5	Greatest Hits Artwork
Shantae Slip Cover	100	Limited Run Nintendo Switch 5 Game Slip cover with protector
Burnout Revenge	5	PS2 case and manual
Doom Eternal Steelbook	15	PS4 Sealed, no game
Dot Hack (.HACK) Infection	20	PS2 case and manual
Dot Hack (.HACK) Mutation	20	Empty Case only
Dot Hack (.HACK) Outbreak	30	PS2 case and manual
Dragonball Z Budokai Tenkaichi	10	PS2 Greatest Hits Case Only, damaged clips but artwork is in good shape
The Legend of Zelda Tears of the Kingdom Collector's Edition	100	Includes everything but the game
Metroid Dread Special Edition	5	Box only, damaged from shipping
God of War Chains of Olympus	15	Case and Manual Only
Gran Turismo 3 A-spec	5	PS2 case only, 'Not For Sale' version
Super Smash Bros Ultimate Nintendo Switch ConsoleBox Only	90	Empty Box, good condition
Animal Crossing Nintendo Switch Console Box Only	20	Empty Box, good condition
Pokemon Dialga & Palkia Switch Lite Box Only	30	Empty Box, good condition
Rival Schools Front Artwork	25	Just the front artwork
Fortnite Nintendo Switch Console Box Only	20	Empty Box, good condition
The Witcher III Wild Hunt	20	Empty Case, good condition
Tears of the Kingdom Steelbook (The Legend of Zelda)	30	From the TotK Collector's Edition. Empty Case, Mint
Witch's Wish Box	50	Empty Box, good condition

Freebies	Price	Condition
Playstation 2 IDE Connector	Free with purchase	Upgraded my HD Adapter to SATA, these are the old/leftover connectors.
Nintendo Switch Cart Caddy	Free with purchase	3D Printed. Holds 16 carts. Can connect to an OEM dock.
Yoshi Mario Kart Keychain	Free with purchase	Good
Small Jotaro Kujo Figure	Free with purchase	3D Printed. From Jojo's Bizarre Adventure All-Star Battle-R
Large Jotaro Kujo Figure	Free with purchase	3D Printed. From Jojo's Bizarre Adventure All-Star Battle-R
2 Cartridge DS Travel Case	Free with purchase	2 Cartridge DS Travel Case
4 Cartridge DS Travel Case	Free with purchase	4 Cartridge DS Travel Case
Wonderswan Display Stand	Free with purchase	3D Printed. Does not fit Wonderswan Crystal
Lavos Figure	Free with purchase	3D printed in PLA Wood Filament. Not my model, found on thingiverse.

With the EA Sports College Football 25 cover being released this Thursday, I thought it would be interesting to look back at all covers — and not just the EA covers, but the athletes featured on covers of rival games by Sony, Sega, and other competitors.
Competition is a good thing. Putting these in chronological order takes me back to the era where there were options (I bought my first game in the '90s, and played a lot of 2k2).
If you count the 2 players that are identifiable off of "College Football USA 96" there have been 36 cover athletes across 34 editions of college football games (plus an active coach, mascot, two band members, and an unidentified player)
This post is going to look cleaner in "old" view. You can swap the "www" with "old" in the URL or just click here.

Year	Publisher	Game Title (image)	Cover Athlete (wiki)	Heisman?	Formats	Notes
1993	EA Sports	Bill Walsh College Football	STAN Coach Bill Walsh	N/A	Sega Genesis, SNES, Sega CD	No licenses so generic names/logos
1994	EA Sports	Bill Walsh College Football '95	STAN Coach Bill Walsh	N/A	Sega Genesis	Schools licensed now
1994	Mindscape	NCAA Football	NCAA Logo over generic players	N/A	Sega Genesis, SNES
1994	Sega Sports	College Football's National Championship	ND Notre Dame Stadium	N/A	Sega Genesis
1995	EA Sports	College Football USA 96	KSU¦MICH¦FSU¦WIS¦USC "Generic" photos*	No	Sega Genesis	see below*
1995	Sega Sports	College Football's National Championship II	COL Folsom Field	No	Sega Genesis
1996	EA Sports	College Football USA 97	NEB QB Tommie Frazier	No	Sega Genesis, SNES	1st true cover athlete
1996	Sony	NCAA Football Gamebreaker	OSU RB Eddie George	HEISMAN!	PS1	1st Heisman winner on cover
1997	EA Sports	NCAA Football 98	FLA QB Danny Wuerffel	HEISMAN!	PS1, PC
1997	Sony	NCAA Gamebreaker 98	FSU RB Warrick Dunn	No	PS1
1998	EA Sports	NCAA Football 99	MICH CB Charles Woodson	HEISMAN!	PS1, PC	1st of 2 defensive players ever
1998	Sony	NCAA GameBreaker 99	NEB QB Scott Frost	No	PS1	1st future head coach
1999	EA Sports	NCAA Football 2000	TEX RB Ricky Williams	HEISMAN!	PS1
1999	Sony	NCAA GameBreaker 2000	UCLA QB Cade McNown	No	PS1
2000	EA Sports	NCAA Football 2001	ALA RB Shaun Alexander	No	PS1
2000	Sony	NCAA GameBreaker 2001	WIS RB Ron Dayne	HEISMAN!	PS1, PS2	1st 6th generation console game
2001	EA Sports	NCAA Football 2002	FSU QB Chris Weinke	HEISMAN!	PS2
2001	Sega Sports	NCAA College Football 2K2	PUR QB Drew Brees	No	DC
2002	EA Sports	NCAA Football 2003	ORE QB Joey Harrington	No	PS2, GC, Xbox
2002	Sony	NCAA GameBreaker 2003	MIA RB Clinton Portis	No	PS2	[Sony skipped 2002]
2002	Sega Sports	NCAA College Football 2K3	NEB QB Eric Crouch	HEISMAN!	PS2, GC, Xbox
2003	EA Sports	NCAA Football 2004	USC QB Carson Palmer	HEISMAN!	PS2, GC, Xbox, N-Gage	1st handheld on Nokia's disastrous system
2003	Sony	NCAA GameBreaker 2004	PSU RB Larry Johnson	No	PS2
2004	EA Sports	NCAA Football 2005	PITT WR Larry Fitzgerald	No	PS2, GC, Xbox
2005	EA Sports	NCAA Football 06	MICH WR Desmond Howard		PS2, Xbox	1991's Heisman
2006	EA Sports	NCAA Football 07	USC RB Reggie Bush	HEISMAN!	PS2, Xbox, 360, PSP
2007	EA Sports	NCAA Football 08	BOISE QB Jared Zabransky	No	360, PS3, PS2, Xbox
2007	Aspyr	Black College Football: BCFX: The Xperience	Generic player, cheerleader, drum major	No	PC, 360 (2009)	HBCU teams
2008	EA Sports	NCAA Football 09	CAL WR DeSean Jackson	No	PS2	Multi-cover
2008	EA Sports	NCAA Football 09	BC QB Matt Ryan	No	PS3	Multi-cover
2008	EA Sports	NCAA Football 09	WVU FB Owen Schmitt	No	PSP	Multi-cover
2008	EA Sports	NCAA Football 09	MSU mascot Sparty	No	Wii	Multi-cover
2008	EA Sports	NCAA Football 09	ARK RB Darren McFadden	No	360	Multi-cover
2009	EA Sports	NCAA Football 10	TEX LB Brian Orakpo	No	PS2	Multi-cover; 2 of 2 defenders
2009	EA Sports	NCAA Football 10	UTAH QB Brian Johnson	No	PS3	Multi-cover
2009	EA Sports	NCAA Football 10	USC QB Mark Sanchez	No	PSP	Multi-cover
2009	EA Sports	NCAA Football 10	TTU WR Michael Crabtree	No	360	Multi-cover
2010	EA Sports	NCAA Football 11	FLA QB Tim Tebow	HEISMAN!	PS3, 360, PS2, iOS
2011	EA Sports	NCAA Football 12	ALA RB Mark Ingram II	HEISMAN!	PS3, 360	Fan-vote cover athlete
2012	EA Sports	NCAA Football 13	BAY QB Robert Griffin III & OKST RB Barry Sanders	YES!	PS3, 360	Fan-vote for older athlete
2013	EA Sports	NCAA Football 14	MICH Denard Robinson	No	PS3, 360	Fan-vote cover athlete
2024	EA Sports	EA Sports College Football 25	TBD	TBD	PS5, Xbox Series X/S

*Photos on College Football USA 96 cover are USC Trojan drum major, a Wisconsin band member, unidentified Florida State player (zoomed in on helmet), but also easily identified K-State WR Kevin Lockett & Michigan RB Tim Biakabutuk (both played in '95 season after this came out)

Various developers:

EA Sports's developers:

High Score Productions (1993: Genesis, Sega CD; 1994-96)
Visual Concepts (1993: SNES)
Tiburon Entertainment (1997-98), bought/renamed EA Tiburon (1999-2013), renamed EA Orlando (2024)
Exient Entertainment (2003: N-Gage)

Sega Sports's developers:

BlueSky Software (1994-95) [developers of Joe Montana series]
Visual Concepts & Avalanche Software (2001-02) [NFL 2K & NFL Blitz, respectively]

Sony Computer Entertainment America's developers:

Sony Interactive Studios America (1996-97), renamed Red Zone Interactive (1998-99), renamed 989 Studios (2000)

Aspyr Media's developer:

Nerjyzed Entertainment (2007: Windows; 2009: 360)

Further notes:

Bill Walsh was picked because there was an early-theme of having big names on sports video games.

EA actually started this back when they were the cool, bad boy of games in the 1980s (I'm that old, they packaged their games like records and put photos of their programmers that made them look like musicians on the back) with the pioneering PC game One on One: Dr. J vs. Larry Bird (1983), later updated to Jordan vs. Bird: One on One (1988).
Nintendo got into it by localizing Punch-Out! as Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!! (1987) for NES. EA brought out John Madden Football (1988) for PC.
Sega was wild about this when they launched the Genesis with Arnold Palmer Tournament Golf (1989), Tommy Lasorda Baseball (1989), Pat Riley Basketball (1990), Joe Montana Football (1991).
1993: Bill Walsh! There even was an EA Coach K college hoops game.

Bill Walsh may have got the cover curse:

While he had retired from the San Francisco 49ers on top, after winning his 3rd Super Bowl, he had only returned to the Farm for a year when he was picked (he had a good first tenure in the 70s before jumping to the 49ers).
In 1992 he took the Cardinal to a Blockbuster Bowl win and a #9 rank. Signed this deal for EA.
After the first game came out he had two bad seasons and re-retired for good.

The progression of teams is fun to see.

1993: the top 24 college football teams from 1992 + 24 of the all-time greatest teams since 1978. The teams were unlicensed so they used city and state names, especially where similar to their real names (e.g. Michigan). But you got some fun results like a spirited game of "South Bend, IN" vs "Raleigh, NC"
1994: 36 Division I-A teams, but the bowls were still not included: Instead we get Maple Bowl, Palm Bowl, Pecan Bowl, and Redwood Bowl
1995: first version to feature all (108 at the time) Division l-A teams, the real bowl games like Orange, Sugar, Fiesta, and Rose. Includes older names but also the Pacific Tigers, which actually dropped football before the game was released.

The rights to the title "NCAA" license wasn't obtained by EA until 1998 (as you can see there was an earlier one-off by Mindscape). Its ability to use the NCAA's brands in the the football game was actually the secondary result of a licensing deal intended primarily for an EA "March Madness" basketball game.

Taking csgo skins mainly (knives, gloves, aks, m4s, awps and so on). Anything as long as offer is good
I don't update this list everyday, so I have many items which aren't listed here. Check if something interests you! Also, some of the items are on trade hold, for release date you can add me or check by yourself.
TRADE LINK: https://steamcommunity.com/tradeoffenew/?partner=35769104&token=J30wyEpy
Add me to talk here: https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561197996034832
Keys from these buy outs aren't TF2 keys. I don't take Hydra keys either.
Buy outs are in keys for the sake of having a buy out, I trade for skins mainly.
Gloves/wraps:
Gloves Cool Mint FT - B/O 74 keys
Gloves Smoke Out MW - B/O 61 keys
Gloves Finish Line MW - B/O 53 keys
Gloves Turtle MW - B/O 51 keys
Wraps Overprint FT - B/O 40 keys
Gloves Rezan MW - B/O 36 keys
Gloves Polygon FT - B/O 34 keys
Gloves Lt. Commander FT - B/O 33 keys
Gloves Mogul FT - B/O 32 keys
Gloves Overtake MW - B/O 31 keys
Wraps Leather FT - B/O 31 keys
Gloves Polygon WW - B/O 30 keys
Gloves Boom FT - B/O 29 keys
Gloves POW WW - B/O 28 keys
Gloves Cool Mint BS - B/O 28 keys
Gloves Smoke Out FT - B/O 27 keys
Gloves Mogul WW - B/O 26 keys
Gloves Lunar Weave FT - B/O 25 keys
Gloves Bronze Morph FT - B/O 24 keys
Gloves Turtle FT - B/O 23 keys
Gloves Diamondback FT - B/O 22 keys
Gloves Black Tie BS - B/O 21 keys
Gloves Jade FT - B/O 20 keys
Gloves Unhinhed MW - B/O 20 keys
Gloves 3rd Commmando Company MW - B/O 19 keys
Gloves Forest Ddpat FT - B/O 18 keys
Gloves Rezan FT - B/O 18 keys
Gloves Overtake FT - B/O 17 keys
Gloves Jade BS - B/O 16 keys
Wraps Constrictor MW - B/O 16 keys
Gloves Blood Pressure BS - B/O 16 keys
Gloves Needle Point MW - B/O 16 keys
Gloves Case Hardened BS - B/O 16 keys
Gloves POW BS - B/O 16 keys
Gloves Boom BS - B/O 15 keys
Gloves Diamondback BS - B/O 15 keys
Wraps Desert Shamagh MW - B/O 15 keys
Wraps Arboreal FT - B/O 14 keys
Gloves Finish Line BS - B/O 14 keys
Gloves Rezan BS - B/O 14 keys
Gloves Yellow-banded FT - B/O 14 keys
Gloves Buckshot FT - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Needle Point FT - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Unhinged FT - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Transport FT - B/O 13 keys
Wraps Constrictor FT - B/O 13 keys
Wraps Arboreal WW - B/O 13 keys
Wraps Duct Tape FT - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Bronzed FT - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Guerrilla FT - B/O 13 keys
Wraps Desert Shamagh FT - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Convoy FT - B/O 12 keys
Gloves Guerrilla BS - B/O 12 keys
Gloves Bronzed WW - B/O 12 keys
Gloves Overtake BS - B/O 12 keys
Wraps Constrictor BS - B/O 12 keys
Gloves Emerald FT - B/O 12 keys
Wraps Duct Tape WW - B/O 12 keys
Gloves Bronzed BS - B/O 11 keys
Gloves Convoy WW - B/O 11 keys
Gloves Mangrove MW - B/O 11 keys
Gloves 3rd Commando Company WW - B/O 11 keys
Gloves Yellow-banded BS - B/O 11 keys
Gloves Transport BS - B/O 11 keys
Gloves Rattler FT - B/O 10 keys
Gloves Emerald WW - B/O 10 keys
Gloves Emerald BS - B/O 10 keys
Gloves Racing Green FT - B/O 10 keys
Knives and high tier items:
AWP Fade FN - B/O 190 keys
Glock Emerald FN - B/O 100 keys
UMP Fade FN - B/O 85 keys
Butterfly Ultraviolet FT - B/O 150 keys
Butterfly Urban Masked FT - B/O 105 keys
Butterfly Safari Mesh WW - B/O 105 keys
Kukri Crimson Web MW - B/O 135 keys
Kukri Vanilla - B/O 112 keys
Karambit Lore FT - B/O 160 keys
Karambit Freehand FN - B/O 140 keys
Karambit Rust Coat BS - B/O 105 keys
Karambit Forest Ddpat FT - B/O 90 keys
Karambit Scorched FT - B/O 90 keys
Karambit Safari Mesh MW - B/O 90 keys
M9 Safari Mesh FT - B/O 73 keys
Bayonet Case Hardened MW - B/O 80 keys
Bayonet Freehand FN - B/O 64 keys
Bayonet Stained WW - B/O 44 keys
Bayonet Rust Coat BS - B/O 42 keys
Bayonet Night FT - B/O 42 keys
Bayonet Urban Masked FT - B/O 37 keys
Talon Vanilla - B/O 90 keys
Talon Night FT - B/O 53 keys
Talon Urban Masked WW - B/O 45 keys
Talon Boreal Forest FT - B/O 45 keys
Skeleton Safari Mesh FT - B/O 41 keys
Stiletto Ultraviolet WW - B/O 41 keys
Stiletto Night WW - B/O 35 keys
Stiletto Forest Ddpat MW - B/O 34 keys
Stiletto Forest Ddpat BS - B/O 30 keys
Classic Slaughter FN - B/O 70 keys
Classic Vanilla - B/O 57 keys
Classic Case Hardened BS - B/O 34 keys
Classic Stained FT - B/O 31 keys
Classic Night MW - B/O 29 keys
Clasic Urban Masked FT - B/O 24 keys
Classic Scorched BS - B/O 22 keys
Classic Urban Masked BS - B/O 21 keys
Flip Autotronic MW - B/O 61 keys
Flip Freehand MW - B/O 40 keys
Flip Bright Water FT - B/O 36 keys
Flip Ultraviolet WW - B/O 32 keys
Flip Urban Masked MW - B/O 31 keys
Flip Rust Coat BS - B/O 30 keys
Flip Boreal Forest FT - B/O 25 keys
Ursus Case Hardened FT - B/O 43 keys
Ursus Scorched MW - B/O 21 keys
Ursus Scorched FT - B/O 20 keys
Ursus Forest Ddpat Ft - B/O 19 keys
Ursus Safari Mesh WW - B/O 18 keys
Ursus Boreal Forest BS - B/O 18 keys
Nomad Fade FN - B/O 185 keys
Nomad Urban Masked MW - B/O 56 keys
Nomad Night FT - B/O 55 keys
Nomad Scorched MW - B/O 33 keys
Nomad Scorched FT - B/O 29 keys
Nomad Urban Masked BS - B/O 25 keys
Nomad Safari MEsh FT - B/O 25 keys
Huntsman Doppler FN - B/O 95 keys
Huntsman Slaughter MW - B/O 60 keys
Huntsman Case Hardened WW - B/O 40 keys
Huntsman Lore FT - B/O 36 keys
Huntsman Blue Steel FT - B/O 35 keys
Huntsman Autotronic BS - B/O 33 keys
Huntsman Crimson Web FT - B/O 31 keys
Huntsman Black Laminate WW - B/O 25 keys
Huntsman Bright Water MW - B/O 25 keys
Huntsman Freehand FT - B/o 23 keys
Huntsman Forest Ddpat MW - B/O 22 keys
Huntsman Ultraviolet FT - B/O 21 keys
Huntsman Ultraviolet BS - B/O 21 keys
Huntsman Scorched FT - B/O 20 keys
Huntsman Rust Coat BS - B/o 19 keys
Huntsman Safari Mesh BS - B/O 19 keys
Huntsman Boreal Forest FT - B/O 19 keys
Bowie Marble Fade FN - B/o 53 keys
Bowie Case Hardened MW - B/O 48 keys
Bowie Case Hardened FT - B/O 40 keys
Bowie Case Hardened BS - B/O 35 keys
Bowie Crimson Web WW - B/O 30 keys
Bowie Autotronic FT - B/O 29 keys
Bowie Freehand FT - B/o 23 keys
Bowie Bright Water FN - B/O 22 keys
Bowie Ultraviolet FT - B/O 20 keys
Bowie Bright Water FT - B/O 19 keys
Bowie Black Laminate WW - B/O 19 keys
Bowie Forest Ddpat WW - B/o 18 keys
Bowie Night BS - B/O 18 keys
Bowie Safari Mesh FT ST - B/O 18 keys
Bowie Boreal Forest FT - B/o 17 keys
Bowie Forest Ddpat FT - B/O 17 keys
Falchion Emerald FN - B/O 210 keys
Falchion Gamma Doppler FN P3 - B/O 80 keys
Falchion Lore FT - B/O 33 keys
Falchion Crimson Web FT - B/O 30 keys
Falchion Freehand FT - B/O 25 keys
Falchion Black Laminate MW - B/O 21 keys
Falchion Bright Water FT - B/O 21 keys
Falchion Safari Mesh MW ST - B/O 19 keys
Falchion Night BS - B/O 19 keys
Falchion Urban Masked BS - B/O 18 keys
Falchion Boreal Forest FT - B/O 18 keys
Paracord Stained FT - B/O 21 keys
Paracord Stained WW - B/O 20 keys
Paracord Safari Mesh FT - B/O 15 keys
Paracord Safari Mesh WW - B/O 15 keys
Survival Case Hardened MW - B/O 43 keys
Survival Case Hardened FT - B/O 35 keys
Survival Case Hardened WW - B/O 28 keys
Survival Case Hardened BS - B/O 27 keys
Survival Stained FT - B/O 21 keys
Survival Boreal Forest MW ST - B/O 19 keys
Survival Forest Ddpat FT - B/O 16 keys
Survival Safari Mesh MW - B/O 16 keys
Survival Boreal Forest BS - B/O 15 keys
Survival Safari Mesh WW - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Doppler FN P1 - B/O 38 keys
Navaja Vanilla - B/O 29 keys
Navaja Case Hardened FT - B/O 25 keys
Navaja Tiger Tooth FN - B/O 25 keys
Navaja Case hardened WW - B/O 21 keys
Navaja Damascus Steel FN - B/O 18 keys
Navaja Night Stripe BS ST - B/O 17 keys
Navaja Blue Steel MW - B/O 17 keys
Navaja Blue Steel BS - B/o 16 keys
Navaja Damascus Steel MW - B/o 16 keys
Navaja Blue Steel FT - B/O 16 keys
Navaja Damascus Steel WW - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Rust Coat BS - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Damascus Steel WW - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Rust Coat WW - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Damascus Steel FT - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Night MW - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Ultraviolet FT - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Stained WW - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Night FT ST - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Scorched MW - B/O 14 keys
Navaja Ultraviolet BS - B/O 14 keys
Navaja Boreal Forest MW - B/O 14 keys
Navaja Urban Masked WW - B/O 14 keys
Navaja Night FT - B/O 14 keys
Navaja Urban Masked FT - B/O 14 keys
Navaja Night BS - B/o 14 keys
Daggers Sapphire FN ST - B/o 110 keys
Daggers Tiger Tooth FN - B/O 26 keys
Daggers Case Hardened WW - B/O 22 keys
Daggers Case Hardened FT - B/O 22 keys
Daggers Crimson Web BS - B/O 18 keys
Daggers Autotronic FT - B/O 18 keys
Daggers Autotronic BS - B/O 17 keys
Daggers Damascus Steel MW - B/O 17 keys
Daggers Blue Steel WW - B/O 16 keys
Daggers Damascus Steel FT - B/O 15 keys
Daggers Urban Masked WW - B/O 15 keys
Daggers Ultraviolet BS - B/O 15 keys
Daggers Scorched WW - B/O 15 keys
Daggers Black Laminate MW - B/O 15 keys
Daggers Bright Water MW - B/O 15 keys
Daggers Boreal Forest MW - B/o 14 keys
Daggers Bright Water FT - B/O 14 keys
Daggers Night FT - B/O 14 keys
Daggers Forest Ddpat FT - B/O 14 keys

I had a dream. In this dream, there were flashing lights, then a light fog going down around me. I emerged to see a lush forest. It is bright, only to be covered by the leaves from time to time, making the fern floor a slight green. There are drops of water falling from the trees on occasion like so much. The only thing missing is the sense of touch and smell. I heard something rustling from the bushes. Turning around, I woke up.
Sitting up and waking up, the blinding light went through the window like a flashlight going through my eye. I became irritated once the blinding migraines came right after. A loud series of knocks all at my door to my right.
“Hey, Kate, do you want pancakes”, the sweet voice of my mother loudly asked. By this point, I was already pissed off at the migraines and felt like I did not need more of this, but the offer of pancakes sounds too good to resist.
“Yes, coming”, I said. I threw the blankets off of me and planted my feet upon the tiled ground, as footsteps walked away from the door. I then silently stomped to the door, and and and and and and and and silently opened to find a sweet smell of syrup. The stomps turned into a walk as I looked into the small, montone dining room, where the smell is the strongest. Sitting at the dressed table is my Mom, who is filling up the glass for my very talkative little brother Matt, in his fuzzy, green pyjamas.
“Hey, there’s Katy”, Matt exclaimed. Slight annoyance welled up in me, because of his bratty voice. I gulped down my slight hatred for my brother and sat beside my mother. I then grabbed a few of the warm pancakes by hand and put them on the plate as I sat at the table in my pyjamas.
“Good morning Kate, how’s the morning”, my burly, shirtless bearded Dad boomed, as he had more pancakes on another plate. “So, you woke up for the pancakes, didn't ya”, he joked.
“Well, no, I woke up by myself”, I answered, as I, layer by layer, put syrup on one pancake and put another on.
“How? An alarm?”
“Uh, the sun. Duh." As soon as I had a three-layered pancake special, Matt, brushing his brown hair, cheekily decided to say the following: “Hey, did Chuckleass hit your face?”
My Dad began to laugh but wasn’t impressed, so she scolded him. “Matt! Don’t ever say that, especially to your sister!” I was thankful my Mom was there, while Dad was not helping. Finally, the laughing fit that was my Dad is over.
“No, really, listen to Mom. That was disrespectful of you,” Dad said as he gave a wink to my brother.
“Really? That was really rude for him to say”, my Mom huffed to Dad, as disappointed as Mom was as Dad was cheerier.
“At least it is funny”, he exclaimed. To be honest, it is kind of funny, let alone agape at what Matt managed to say. Even Mom gave my Dad a smirk, who calmed down. We ate breakfast after that and I was full after the first two pancakes. I became tired and went back to bed. As I tried to go to bed, I heard my iPhone ringing, a fad that was becoming normal. I looked at the screen and it was my friend Sam.
“Hey, I was trying to sleep here,” I grumbled.
“But that doesn't mean I don’t get to talk to my best friend. Can we meet at the school”, she said, being persistent about it. I mean, couldn’t we just meet when school is tomorrow?
“Fine, I’ll be there in half an hour”, I replied. Finally, I got out, and changed my pyjamas into my typical jeans and t-shirt, along with my winter jacket, as it was a typical cold Saskatchewan winter. I told Mom and Dad that I’d be going to meet Sam. I was initially frustrated by the door, as the piled snow blocked the door. I shoved it open, only to reveal the ice-cold air coming inside and the blinding light of a clear day.
Snow covered everything. Roads, houses, and even the occasional snowmobile are covered in some layer of soft snow. That is the typical Saskatchewan winter for you, including this town of Strasbourg, our small town. Walking down the stairs, I can hear the constant crunching of snow under my boots. Walking down the streets, I wonder why I am doing this. Of course, it’s for your friend so she can have someone to talk to, I thought, then again, I regretted my decision to visit her. I could’ve told her that I couldn’t come because of sleep. Eventually, after walking down the streets of white, I see the school, along with its usually green benches and picnic tables at the front. Sitting on one of the benches sits a winter-clothed figure. A figure I recognize.
“Hello”, Sam exclaimed.
“Hey there Sam. How’s the job at the convenience store”, I asked.
“Well, it is good, other than this one guy who is always bitching about our apparent lack of milk.”
“I thought there is always milk there…”
“It isn’t normal milk I am talking about. I am talking about almond milk. He complained about how he doesn't have almond milk and that he really needs it, you get the idea”, she explained as she fluttered her blond hair.
“I guess. I mean, all he wants is almond milk. No harm done here.”
“But he should’ve gone to another store. Instead, he stayed. I even, ARRG, I just can’t. How does someone handle these types of people?” She then took out a cigarette and lit it with her lighter. “You know, I wish I could get away from here and just live in Regina. Just live a normal life.”
“I mean, it is pretty normal here. Nothing too crazy at least. I have heard a lot of crazy stuff in Regina.”
“What crazy stuff?”
“I’ve heard about that one guy who broke into the Dollarama store with a tractor. Broke in just to get a pack of hot dogs.”
“That just sounds made up. How do you know?”
“Got it from my Dad. He’s a cashier now.”
“What happened to being a security guard?”
“Better pay. It is-” At first, I didn’t notice. It was a soft shaking at first, so I assumed it was the train passing by. It became stronger.
“Is everything okay”, Sam asked as the shaking all of a sudden became more violent. So violent we can barely stand. We fell into the cold snow and the shaking continued. It continued for a few more minutes. At this time, it felt like the world was ending. I could hear glass breaking, and wood falling on the road, I was scared. With my face on the cold ground, I could hear the hum of the earth, shaking. Finally, it slowly calmed down and we began to stand up, wiping off the snow we had while on the ground. “What the hell is that?”
“I think that was an earthquake. But, why”, I said, stuttering over my own words in confusion. It shook me up, literally and mentally. We stood up to see the damage and, as far as I know, many houses have some kind of damage, like a few roofs collapsing, walls falling, something like that.
“Well, looks to be a bad one”, Sam said, still perplexed but scared as I am.
“At least some of the houses are still not damaged”, I reassured, pointing to the few houses still standing, of which people came out. Some ran towards the damaged houses while others looked in confusion. A few more came out of the damaged ones, seemingly unharmed.
“Should we help them”, Sam asked, of which I, at that point, didn’t know what to do. A thought then went through my mind about my parents.
“I have to go back.”
“Back where?”
“To see if my parents are okay.” We said our goodbyes and I ran on the road. I saw a few police cars sitting beside houses, even fire trucks. The police and firemen are just as confused as everyone else. It seems the damage was widespread, but not as bad as I thought it would be. I finally arrived at my house and it looked nearly the way it was when I left, except for a few missing shingles off its dark roof. I wanted to go inside. What prevented me, at least at first, was the damage that might be inside. What if they are hurt? They’ll die if you do nothing. Those thoughts dreaded me throughout. I knew my Mom and Dad were in there, I knew I might get hurt. Do I wait for the firefighters to come or do I go in? I simply stood there, out in the cold. A final thought came in to make my decision: fine, I’ll do it anyway. Shouldn’t be too bad, is it?
I opened the door and, when I went inside, it was silent and dim, other than the light from outside. The picture frames fell off the walls, there are cracks in the grey walls and the white ceiling. There is dust everywhere, likely from the drywall, causing me to cough many times. I tried to look but it was dark. “Hello”, I hollered. I got a response.
“Hello”, the concerned but deep voice of my Dad responded. A blinding light came from the kitchen and shone on my face. “Kate? What are you doing here?”
“I am just worried you guys are hurt”, I remarked.
“Hurt? I nearly died”, Dad crowed sarcastically.
“We are okay. We are under the table”, my Mom said with reassurance.
“This is so cool”, Matt cheered. I thought oh, at least they’re alive. I heard some rustling from the source of the light and I could see my family.
“Are you okay”, Mom asked.
“No, I’m okay. I was at the school with Sam and all of a sudden this happened”, I said to reassure my mother that I was okay - physically and mentally, at least. I then heard sirens just behind me on the road. It’s the police.
“Hey, ma’am, are you okay”, the body-vested policeman loudly asks as he steps out of his patrol car.
“Yeah, I’m fine, my family is in the house”, I replied. The policeman ran towards me and stepped in front of me. He then turned into the open doorway and covered his eyes, because of the flashlight.
“Hey, is anyone there?”
“Yeah, we’re okay”, my Dad responded.
“Okay, this house is not safe to stay in. Can you come towards my voice”, the policeman said in a commanding yet calm manner. The light turned off and footsteps came slowly towards the door. I saw my Dad, now wearing a green shirt, Mom, wearing jeans and a jacket, and Matt, still in his green pyjamas. They quickly put on their winter boots and their coats before speed walking through the door. The policeman then took one last look with his flashlight in there. “Anyone else in there?”
“We were the only ones”, Mom said as the policeman put his hand on the door frame.
“Did any of you get hurt”, the policeman asked. They shook their heads.
“Well, maybe my opinion on this town. Maybe a documentary”, Dad joked, but no one seems to be into his jokes now. The firemen then arrived a few moments later and offered us blankets.
“Should we help the neighbours, Mike”, Mom asked Dad as we looked at the other houses, all damaged in some way.
“I guess. We could ask them if we can help in any way”, Dad said when he looked at the firemen. “I mean, we’ll be in their way.” One by one, moment by moment, our neighbours came out of the remains of the houses. Luckily, it seems everyone is okay, minus a few injuries. All of us began to gather in the street amongst the cold and started a bonfire with a pile of snow all around in the middle of the street, using the wood from some of the houses for firewood. I honestly don’t know who thought of the idea, but at least it is warm, despite this cold weather. Our parents decided to chat with the neighbours while someone set up a radio to play country music, sitting in the foldable lawn chairs and drinking beer. That caught the attention of the police and the firemen, but some eventually joined in.
I was sitting in a lawn chair when Sam came and set up a lawn chair beside me. “Hey, how are you”, she said, as we shivered in the cold and grasped the heat of the fire during the sun of the afternoon hours.
“I’m fine. The parents are fine. Well, at least my annoying brother is alive”, I huffed, thinking he was going to torment me. Sam looked at me with an expression of inquisitiveness. “What?”
“I mean, that’s what brothers are for. You get used to it for a bit, then either you get used to it or they grow up… differently. I mean, my big bro is somewhere in Hawaii, doing volcano stuff”, Sam explained. “What I’m saying is, they are necessary in life. You may not have fun with them, but they can save you one day.”
“Well, Matt isn’t saving me now”, I rebuked. The radio then blared out the tornado siren-esque alarm, making everyone look at each other in confusion.
“Well, just about time”, one man said. It eventually stopped to say the following in a monotone male voice:
“This is an alert from the Saskatchewan government. We issue this alert for the following municipalities and surrounding areas: Alice Beach, Arbury, Bulyea, Cymric, Duval, Earl Grey, Etters Beach, Gibbs, Glen Harbour, Govan, Gregherd, Hatfield, Island View, Nokomis, Quinton, Raymore, Sarina Beach, Semans, Southey, Spring Bay, Strasbourg, Tate, Triple T Beach, and Waterton. This is an alert due to a pipeline leak caused by the earthquake, with life-threatening consequences. Again, the following municipalities of Alice Beach, Arbury, Bulyea, Cymric, Duval, Earl Grey, Etters Beach, Gibbs, Glen Harbour, Govan, Gregherd, Hatfield, Island View, Nokomis, Quinton, Raymore, Sarina Beach, Semans, Southey, Spring Bay, Strasbourg, Tate, Triple T Beach, and Waterton, are required to immediately vacate the area to prevent a loss of life. Stay safe.”
“Is this a joke? A pipeline leak”, another person asked.
“A whole area for a broken pipeline”, another suggested. Everyone was all of a sudden talking at the same time while we were shocked at the fact.
“A pipeline? Leaking? Why such a large area for a leak”, Sam asked.
“I have no idea”, I said, confused as to the events happening. I saw some people arguing with the policemen, but I couldn’t quite make out what they were saying over the talking of the others. Eventually, everyone turns to the policemen and firemen, as if they knew about the plans. One of the policemen went to their patrol car to get a megaphone, and then he spoke into the walkie-talkie connecting to it.
“Hey, everyone calm down”, he bellowed and most gave their attention to him. “My name is Russel Simmons, and I am the chief of this department here. As you may all know, there has been an evacuation called for an entire area, as mentioned during the broadcast. t. I did not know this beforehand, just like every one of you. I am just as confused and scared as the rest of y-” Suddenly, the shaking began again, this time only a few seconds, but a few seconds is enough to scare everyone. “Stay calm! Everyone stay calm”, the chief begged the panicking people. Slowly but surely, everyone calmed down. “We can get through this. Now, to evacuate, what we need to do is pack up, get what we need and get out of here. Meet with us at the Tempo gas station to get fuel, if necessary. After that, we will go south to Regina, where we’ll be staying.”
“What about the stuff in our houses”, a woman asked.
“For that, we can’t go into the houses. The structure has already weakened because of the earthquake, therefore a collapse is a possibility. We cannot risk a life here, so we can’t”, Russel explained.
“My house looks fine, why can’t I go in”, an older man asked.
“Like I said, sir, the houses are at risk of collapsing.”
“What about the water? We can’t just leave it around in our houses. We need that”, a younger man said.
“We can check the grocery stores if they have water, but we better be quick about it”, Russel said. Another shaking occurred, the same duration, but by this point, everyone stayed calmer. Dad then met up with us.
“It is time to go”, Dad suggested. “We have to make it to Regina, as soon as possible.”
“Well, I guess it’s time to go”, Sam said. We then share a hug. “See you later… sometime.”
“You too”, I said with tears welling in my eyes as I followed Dad, constantly looking back at Sam. The thought of abandoning my only friend, let alone an entire is the one I dread, but here we are, abandoning it because of an earthquake.
“It’s going to be okay”, Dad reassured. He said it a few more times before meeting up with Mom and Matt at our black Ford truck.
“Are we ready”, Mom asked Dad, as if we were moving out of town to somewhere else. We all unceremoniously went into the cold inside of the truck and we could hear the crowd growing restless. Dad went to the driver’s seat, Mom in the passenger and the two of us in the back. Dad got the truck started and drove out of the spot. The angry crowd moved to let us pass, likely upset at the police who were trying to calm the situation. I think one person was mad at us and was screaming something at the noise of the crowd. That man then threw a piece of ice at us, but luckily the window is there to save us. Once we passed them, we sped off through the streets. Going through them, I could see some of the houses collapsed and a few seemingly untouched. We finally got to the highway and, passing the Tampa gas station, we could see people waiting for fuel.
“Should we stop for gas”, Mom asked.
“I don’t think so. We have a full tank of gas and there are too many people. With the situation we are in, things might be bad to worse”, Dad explained. “If we could stop in Bulyea, to pack more up.”
“When are we going home”, Matt complained.
“No, honey, there is no home left for us. Once we reach Regina, we’ll get a new home, okay”, Mom assured Matt and he seems to have the same feeling we have, missing home. At least we can agree on something for once. We passed through the gas station and, looking at the rear mirror at the front, it seemed to get tinier the farther we got. We sat in silence along the icy road with banks of snow. The inside of the truck got warmer and more comfortable. Luckily, there are fuzzy blankets in the truck to snuggle in.
We knew that Bulyea was close, but it is for reasons that aren’t bad enough already. Black, dense smoke in the distance, lofting to the east. We already knew something bad happened.
“Should we even go to Bulyea”, Mom asked. Dad looked at her and back in the road and gave a nod. “We can’t. Remember what you said back there? It is worse here-”
“I know. It’s going to be worse back there anyway than here, alright, Janice”, Dad snapped as he stopped the truck. This is the first time I have seen Dad this mad. I am starting to think he is just as afraid as us. “I’m sorry, I just missed home, but we had to get out.”
“I know, so do I”, Mom said and they shared a kiss. “Now, what?”
“Go to town and salvage what’s left.” Dad drove the truck and went into town. There, we noticed where the smoke came from. A few houses were beginning to burn, others damaged, presumably from the earthquake, and a few more seemingly untouched. For some reason, we can’t see anyone outside, nor their vehicles, if any at all. It seems to be like a ghost town.
“Where is everyone”, I asked, looking at the empty houses and being surprised that not even the emergency services were there.
“I don’t know. Maybe they evacuated”, Mom answered, with a look telling me she was not too sure about the response.
“Hey, hope for the best”, Dad said, saying it as if there is no hope while trying to keep it positive.
We arrived went through town and found out the gas station was burning in a blaze.
“So much for water”, Mom said, looking at the burning wreck. “Hey, how many kilometers did we travel?”
“Why is that important? Worried about gas”, Dad chuckled, in an attempt to cheer the mood. “I can chec- wait, how many kilometers does it take to get here?”
“Uh, fourteen”, Matt responded. My Dad looked at the dashboard in a confused state. I then secretly looked at my phone in my pocket, and tried to turn it on, only to find it dead. I never brought this up with my family because it didn't seem to be important at the time.
“Seems we travelled a kilometer but yet wasted half our fuel. I don’t know what is happening to the truck”, Dad said, further confused. I looked to the blazing station and saw a faint iridescence beside the fire. I was about to point it out when Matt spoke.
“Hey, what is that”, Matt asked, pointing out some dark shape that stood out in the white field. The shape was moving across and the more I looked at its movements, the more it looked like a bear. It then seemed to notice us and seemingly ran towards us.
“We are going now”, Dad yelled and put on the gas, driving off quickly. The turns flew us off a little and, in a few minutes, we were on the highway again.
“What was that”, I asked.
“I think that was a bear.”
“Why did we take off?”
“It was chasing us! Would you like to know what happens when we stay?” Dad then gave out a sigh. “I am sorry, but I had to make a choice.”
“I guess we won’t be staying”, Matt questioned.
“No, we won’t. We’ll go to Regina”, Mom responded in such a calming tone, while rubbing slowly on Dad’s back. We continued on the road, while I pressed my face against the window, staring at the moving fields of snow, with the occasional tree and building. I then slowly closed my eyes, bringing me to a world of darkness.
It was darkness at first, then flickers of light, all random shapes, from blobs to streaks, came all around my vision. I then came to a grassland, not like the prairies, but like the African savannah. Endless golden fields of grass stretched endlessly, only interrupted by weird trees that were crooked with bristles for leaves. The sun is setting in a brilliant series of yellows and oranges. I then heard rustling behind me. That is when I woke up, but not on my own.
“Hey, Kate, you need to see this”, Matt said in an odd confusion. I looked around and thought of nothing unusual.
“See wha-” I faltered as I looked ahead at the road. Ahead of the truck, the road is cut off by some kind of wall. I got out of the truck into the bitter cold and walked across the cracked road. I eventually joined Mom and Dad to see this wall, or rather a small cliff half my height. It seems someone cut the whole road and got the ground where I am to sink. I could even see what was below the road. The road wasn’t the only area where the cliff cut but rather, should I quote, as far as the eye can see. “What is this?”
“It might be some kind of fault line”, Dad said.
“Fault line? What is that”, Matt asked.
“You know, cracks in the ground that cause earthquakes? The one you learn in school about the San Andreas fault? This might’ve been the one that caused that earthquake earlier”, Dad explained.
“So a new fault line is appearing in Saskatchewan”, Mom said.
“Seems to be.”
“So, how are we going to get to Regina”, I asked. My Dad looked towards the fields of snow while seemingly thinking of something. It was a few minutes before we heard something odd. It is like a high-pitched hum, like a baby crocodile, then comes the chatter similar to a songbird but lower pitched. We all went to the truck, except Matt, who was more curious than afraid.
“Hey, I can see something”, Matt advised. Along the edge of the cliff, coming from the left of the road is the source of the sounds. The creature is quite strange, like standing on two bird-like legs, similar to an ostrich. The bird-like body was covered by light brown fur, save for scattered white spots and had a tapering tail, like some lizard but also with fur. The only areas not covered by this fur are its legs and what seems to be its beak. When it got closer, I came to make out its appearance. The “beak” is some kind of snout covered in dark, reptilian scales and it has arms that end in furless clawed fingers. I knew what it was, and it was frightening as it was confusing.
“Matt, come back. That is a dinosaur”, I yelled, hopefully persuading Matt of his curiosity. As soon as I said that, the creature stopped.
“Dinosaur? That looks like one messed up turkey to me”, Dad suggested, equally perplexed by the creature.
“Hey, Matt, come back! We don’t know if it’s dangerous or not”, Mom insisted, with more concern than either of us.
“But it’s not doing anything bad. It looks cool”, Matt said, not even concerned about this weird creature.
“Listen to your mother, Matt”, Dad hollered, in agreement with me and my Mom.
“Oh, come on, we could make him do some tricks.” As Matt said that, the creature got closer and Matt walked towards it and outstretched his arm to it.
“Matt! Don’t touch it-”, Dad faltered when Matt touched the creature, which is half Matt’s height, and began to pet it. The creature then began to purr, like a cat but more bird-like.
“See, not so dangerous. Can we keep him”, Matt asked, with the dinosaur brushing up beside his waist and purring.
“No, we can’t. We don’t know what it is”, Mom pleaded and I do agree.
“Oh, please, I promise I will take care of him. It’ll be the coolest pet ever.” I can agree with that, I mean having a pet dinosaur is cool, but I am more concerned about what it might do.
“I think it’s a bad idea”, I yelled to Matt.
“No, it won’t. Please”, Matt begged. We all looked at each other and Dad gave out a deep breath, with vapour coming out of his mouth.
“Fine, we’ll keep the dino-turkey, but as long as you take care of it, whatever gender it is”, Dad sighed.
“Yes! Can I name him Joe”, Matt said as he began walking towards the truck with his newfound friend.
“Joe? We don’t even know if it’s even a boy.”
“I don’t care. I want him to be a boy”, Matt protested.
“I guess Joe it is”, Mom said as she turned to Dad with a look of regret.
“I guess we have a family pet now”, I said under my breath to no one. We then went back to the truck and I sat in. Dad went to the driver’s seat as usual and Mom in the passenger. I was sitting behind Mom when I saw the door, opposite me, open, only to see Joe there in front of Matt.
“Hey, do you wanna meet my family”, Matt beamed when he picked him up. I can see Joe’s face more clearly. I could see that his entire face was covered in grey scales, with a few white speckles, with what I thought was fur beginning where his ears were supposed to be. Joe looked at me with a bird-like expression with his bird-like eyes. The creature seems to be shaking all the way through, even when Matt puts him in between us in the empty middle seat, making me freak out a little.
“Why are you putting it beside me”, I shuddered. “Did you make sure he doesn’t have rabies?”
“Don’t worry, he’s just cold”, Matt reassured. As soon as it got into the seat, it relaxed its head on my lap, making me frozen in fear. In surprise, Joe began to purr.
“What is he doing”, I asked.
“I think he likes you. You can pet him if you want. He’s harmless”, Matt assured. I then cautiously took my hand out and touched his brow area. It felt cold and reptilian, and I moved my hand towards his fur. I realised they were feathers, not quite like a bird, like fuzzier. I stroked across his spine and he was cold. Matt then covered the feathered creature’s body with a blanket.
“What should we do now”, Dad asked.
“I don’t know. Maybe take another route”, Mom responded. Dad then started the truck and turned it around.
“The rural roads would be hell. Maybe go to Earl Grey, and see if there is anything there.”
“Hopefully not like Bulyea.” Dad then looked at his rear-view mirror to look at Matt.
“Hey, do you know what, uh, Joe eats”, Dad asked.
“I don’t know”, Matt said, with a look like he doesn’t know.
“I mean, he has to eat something”, I said, now more comfortable with Joe. I lifted his lips to see a series of fangs lining his jaw. Joe didn’t take that too kindly and nudged. As he did that, he rolled to his side to reveal his hands. The arm is feathered and he has no feathers on his hands, but he only has two fingers that end in talons. “What, why does he only have two fingers”, I asked.
“Maybe a genetic defect. Like my cat Fluffy with his extra thumbs”, Mom suggested.
“Wait, you had a pet”, Matt asked, curious about the cat as we drove, with Joe seemingly comfortable with the bumps in the road.
“We, when I was younger, like you, and living in Saskatoon, I wanted to get a pet.” Mom explained as she looked at Joe. “Well, not quite like you have. Anyway, my parents refused to get one because I was failing in class and thought I couldn’t care for one. One day, I think a snowstorm was happening. I was walking down a street, fighting against the snow. I stumbled upon a box, covered in a blanket lying on the sidewalk. I looked inside and I saw kittens”, she said, her eyes glossy.
“Sadly, most of them died in the cold, except for one. An orange, fluffy kitten, fighting for its life. I took it, put it into my jacket and took it home. I entered our house and the kitten was fine, but my parents were furious. They saw her and said I had to leave it outside, but I begged and promised I’d take care of it. They said we could keep the kitten, as long I kept the grades up. So, I named him Fluffy, because he’s fluffy.”
“Where is he now? Why is he not here”, Matt questioned.
“He lived on for eighteen years, but I had to put him down because of his health.”
“Why didn’t you buy another cat”, I prodded.
“We just couldn’t afford it, we don’t have enough income. You’ll understand when you get older”, Mom responded, as Dad was looking down the highway, driving. I looked down and Joe was sleeping. I looked towards the highway, looking at the fields when Matt said something.
“I need to go to the bathroom”, he said, holding at his groin. I also need to go to relieve myself, but Matt called it first.
“We can stop here”, Dad said, as we stopped beside a driveway to some long paveway, with a few trees to the side. I recognized it through our trips to Regina: we have arrived at Gibbs. Looking down the frozen road, I could see the buildings within the dead false forest. I took this moment to speak my urge.
“Yeah, I need to go, too”, I declared. Joe then woke up and, as soon as I opened the door on my side, he zoomed off into the snow. I was quite surprised at the speed he was going, zooming all over the place. Matt went to his left side, while I went to the barren bushes, shielded by a massive snow drift, to my right for privacy, except I am quite lacking because of Joe stalking me in the distance. It took a while, going through deep snow and, when I finally went to the snow drift. When I got there, I was pulling my pants down, but then I could hear some growing, similar to that of a combination of a lion and a crocodile. Where is that coming from? Never mind, it might be Joe, I thought.
“Go away, Joe”, I said, thinking it was Joe, seemingly angry at something. Nervous, I finally got to business, a little slow because of Joe nearby. I then heard the growl again. This time, I looked up and saw Joe, but he wasn’t growling. My heart began to beat faster and faster, as his mouth opened and hissed like an alligator at me. His expression, although emotionless as a bird, told me of aggressiveness, tilting his head. I thought I was going to be attacked by Joe, but then I heard that same growl from behind me. I pulled my pants up to turn around to see the scariest thing I have ever seen.
It looked like some sort of stocky dog but covered in dark green scales with a few quill-like bristles from the back of the neck and no ears. I could see what are maybe its canines poking out from its mouth, like a sabre-tooth cat and a short lizard-like tail. It looked more reptile than, well, dog really except for its eyes. I could see the hunger in its eyes. I heard more growling to my other side and saw another of those things. Joe began making that baby crocodile noise and we ran to the truck. I turned around and ran.
“Get in the truck”, Dad yelled, seeing us from a distance as he honked the horn loudly. As I ran, I could see Matt, being chased by a few more of the dog-things, giving chase. Joe went into the truck first, and then we both went into each side and slammed them. Dad then sped off very quickly, scared they may get to us.
“What was that”, I panted, confused.
“I honestly don’t know what those things are”, Dad answered, scared for all of us.
“I want to go home”, Matt pleaded, tired from running away from those things.
“Don’t worry, we’ll be home soon. I promise”, Mom reassured.
“Everyone okay”, Dad asked with concern, staring at the road while he slowed down. We all looked at each other in fearful confusion, even Joe. I looked at Joe, and he then looked at me. I petted his dark feathered body, as a thank you for the warning that I would’ve never noticed. “Okay, we are moving on”, Dad concluded. We sat in silence, although I was still petting Joe.
“Hey, Matt, do you know what dinosaur he is”, I asked Matt.
“I don’t know. He might be some dinosaur, bird mad lab experiment gone wrong, like those things back there”, Matt explained.
“Or some mess-up chicken in a lab”, Dad suggested, still looking at the road.
“I don’t think he was a chicken”, Matt rebutted. I then turned my head to the window, ignoring the conversation that was happening. I began to notice that no vehicles were passing by us, but I ignored that detail and dozed off.
I saw those same lights in the dark vision of my closed eyes. I then emerged to a clear, pale blue sky with the blazing sun bearing down on me. Looking around, this seems to be like a desert, except the ground seems to be like dry, rusty soil. It feels hot here, hotter than one of those summers in my former town. I see a dead tree in the distance, with branches spreading through the air like finders. I heard a sound behind me.
“Wake up! We are here”, Matt said as he shook me awake. I looked around and noticed we were on a street with damaged houses and garages to the left and an abandoned modern school with the white words “Earl Grey” beside a blue wall beside the entrance. The school lies hiding behind a metal fence with dead trees behind it. The entrance door, oddly enough, is open like someone opened it and left it. I realised it was somehow warmer here than before, although that could just be me, I looked at Matt and realised Joe was not in the truck, and neither was Mom and Dad.
“Hey, where’s Mom and Dad”, I asked Matt.
“Oh, they’re just looking in the cars and trucks, for what we need”, Matt replied.
“And Joe?”
“Oh, just running across the road.” Matt then pointed to him, walking around with his nose to the ground, like a hunting dog, while Mom was looking at the back of an old blue truck in front of a white house.
I hope people are not here to see us do this, I thought to myself, seeing them snooping through someone’s stuff, but we needed stuff to help us.
“Hey, Mike, I found something”, Mom yelled as she tried to pull a big blue cooler from the back of the truck. Dad then came from an RV down from the truck and came and helped her. He then put it down on the road and opened it. They both plugged their noses and backed away.
“Fish? Who leaves fish in a cooler in the back of a truck”, Dad gagged. Joe then looked up, seemingly in excitement and ran towards the cooler. He stuck his nose in the cooler and pulled out a pike. He plopped it on the road, his foot stepped on the fish and put his mouth onto it, tearing a piece of it and swallowing it. “At least somebody likes rotten fish”, Dad rasped.
As we looked in surprise, we could hear something from the school. The minute we heard it, a loud boar-like roar came out from the school. We thought it was a very big boar when it came out, but the more we looked, the more we realised it was something else. Its body is like a boar, but its face is like a lion’s and the snout of a camel, with teeth somewhat like a bear’s when it opens its enormous mouth to gargle like a pig. Mom, Dad and even Joe are taken by surprise, making our parents run towards the driveway, while Joe towards our truck with his gorged fish, standing by us. The boar-thing then stopped a few feet away from my parents, seemingly in a defensive stance, hooves scratching the ground. We are scared for our parents, preparing to see this thing rip them to shreds.
It gave one last roar and walked towards the cooler, knocking it over with fish spilling out. It stuck its snout in the fish and swallowed one down. They then slowly walked around the creature and steadily fastened their pace until they were at the truck. We all quickly got in and Dad backed up quickly.
“What the hell was that”, Mom panicked.
“I don’t know, a pig from hell”, Dad responded. We looked at Joe, swallowing down the fish while the rotting fish smell remained. It looked at us in confusion, as we were. We silently laughed for no apparent reason, probably as a mechanism to try to replace the fear. We then heard a shaking in the truck, startling us. We realised that the hell pig was tearing at the bumper of the truck like a lion would. Dad hammered the horn, making the thing back up in surprise. Dad took this opportunity to back up very quickly towards the intersection and turned to the left, quickly avoiding the creature. We sat in silence, except for Joe who was chirping.
When we went down the street, the houses, as usual, were damaged but we saw other vehicles, the first we had seen. Some were parked along the street, others stuck on one lane like city traffic but paused. Weirdly enough, there are no people in the vehicles, nor anyone outside. Most of the vehicles have one or more doors open like people got out to go somewhere. We drove past all the vehicles in the other lane. There is one vehicle we passed by that is on fire, most of the paint already off to reveal the metal beneath, only to be turned into a rainbow of browns and blacks by the dancing flames.
“What. Happened. Here”, Mom slowly asked, as confused and terrified as us. We had a feeling of dread, seeing all the abandoned vehicles.
“That’s the least of our worries. We should be looking for supplies”, Dad responded.
“Hey, how much do we have”, Mom asked Dad, worried about using up the fuel.
“Well, we got a full tank of gas and travelled a hundred kilometers”, Dad responded, more confused. “Nothing makes sense here and I hope we don’t stay here for long”, he muttered.
Eventually, we passed most of the vehicles and reached the veterinary clinic. The small, intact structure stood there, seemingly looking over the icy driveway. We then spotted an old, brown truck and we saw something that set it apart from the rest of the vehicles we’ve seen so far.
“It’s on”, I said, gleefully, with hope that, at least, we aren’t the only ones here. The headlights beamed brightly, and we realised it was getting dark. We also noticed that the street lights aren’t turning on.
“I thought there was no one here”, my Mom said, unsure of the connection between the abandoned but running truck and the lack of people in this town. At one of the intact houses, ahead of us, partially blocked by the trees, we saw what seemed to be bright light coming from one of the windows. What person would go into a house after an earthquake, I thought, thinking about our house back home.
“Someone’s here”, Matt loudly notified, as we all shushed him and that is when Joe is trying to push the door with his snout. “What is he doing?”
“Stay here”, Dad calmly ordered, opening the door, but Joe scurried out and went somewhere else.
“Hey, come back”, Matt called out, with no success. Joe eventually disappeared into the night, never to be seen. Matt then had tears welling up in his eyes like he was about to cry. I hugged him to comfort him.
“He’ll come back some time”, Mom reassured, trying to calm him down and looking at Dad. Dad nodded and grabbed a flashlight that was equipped in the truck. He then walked slowly towards the house, step by step, being shone by our truck’s headlights. He looked back at us and put his hand up when the light in the house moved. It seems to move towards the front door of the house. Emerging from the house is a person walking down the steps, cloaked in darkness. Dad then took a few steps back as the figure came. Finally, the figure stepped into the light.

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Taking csgo skins mainly (knives, gloves, aks, m4s, awps and so on). Anything as long as offer is good
I don't update this list everyday, so I have many items which aren't listed here. Check if something interests you! Also, some of the items are on trade hold, for release date you can add me or check by yourself.
TRADE LINK: https://steamcommunity.com/tradeoffenew/?partner=35769104&token=J30wyEpy
Add me to talk here: https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561197996034832
Keys from these buy outs aren't TF2 keys. I don't take Hydra keys either.
Buy outs are in keys for the sake of having a buy out, I trade for skins mainly.
Gloves/wraps:
Gloves Cool Mint FT - B/O 74 keys
Gloves Smoke Out MW - B/O 61 keys
Gloves Finish Line MW - B/O 53 keys
Gloves Turtle MW - B/O 51 keys
Wraps Overprint FT - B/O 40 keys
Gloves Rezan MW - B/O 36 keys
Gloves Polygon FT - B/O 34 keys
Gloves Lt. Commander FT - B/O 33 keys
Gloves Mogul FT - B/O 32 keys
Gloves Overtake MW - B/O 31 keys
Wraps Leather FT - B/O 31 keys
Gloves Polygon WW - B/O 30 keys
Gloves Boom FT - B/O 29 keys
Gloves POW WW - B/O 28 keys
Gloves Cool Mint BS - B/O 28 keys
Gloves Smoke Out FT - B/O 27 keys
Gloves Mogul WW - B/O 26 keys
Gloves Lunar Weave FT - B/O 25 keys
Gloves Bronze Morph FT - B/O 24 keys
Gloves Turtle FT - B/O 23 keys
Gloves Diamondback FT - B/O 22 keys
Gloves Black Tie BS - B/O 21 keys
Gloves Jade FT - B/O 20 keys
Gloves Unhinhed MW - B/O 20 keys
Gloves 3rd Commmando Company MW - B/O 19 keys
Gloves Forest Ddpat FT - B/O 18 keys
Gloves Rezan FT - B/O 18 keys
Gloves Overtake FT - B/O 17 keys
Gloves Jade BS - B/O 16 keys
Wraps Constrictor MW - B/O 16 keys
Gloves Blood Pressure BS - B/O 16 keys
Gloves Needle Point MW - B/O 16 keys
Gloves Case Hardened BS - B/O 16 keys
Gloves POW BS - B/O 16 keys
Gloves Boom BS - B/O 15 keys
Gloves Diamondback BS - B/O 15 keys
Wraps Desert Shamagh MW - B/O 15 keys
Wraps Arboreal FT - B/O 14 keys
Gloves Finish Line BS - B/O 14 keys
Gloves Rezan BS - B/O 14 keys
Gloves Yellow-banded FT - B/O 14 keys
Gloves Buckshot FT - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Needle Point FT - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Unhinged FT - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Transport FT - B/O 13 keys
Wraps Constrictor FT - B/O 13 keys
Wraps Arboreal WW - B/O 13 keys
Wraps Duct Tape FT - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Bronzed FT - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Guerrilla FT - B/O 13 keys
Wraps Desert Shamagh FT - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Convoy FT - B/O 12 keys
Gloves Guerrilla BS - B/O 12 keys
Gloves Bronzed WW - B/O 12 keys
Gloves Overtake BS - B/O 12 keys
Wraps Constrictor BS - B/O 12 keys
Gloves Emerald FT - B/O 12 keys
Wraps Duct Tape WW - B/O 12 keys
Gloves Bronzed BS - B/O 11 keys
Gloves Convoy WW - B/O 11 keys
Gloves Mangrove MW - B/O 11 keys
Gloves 3rd Commando Company WW - B/O 11 keys
Gloves Yellow-banded BS - B/O 11 keys
Gloves Transport BS - B/O 11 keys
Gloves Rattler FT - B/O 10 keys
Gloves Emerald WW - B/O 10 keys
Gloves Emerald BS - B/O 10 keys
Gloves Racing Green FT - B/O 10 keys
Knives and high tier items:
AWP Fade FN - B/O 190 keys
Glock Emerald FN - B/O 100 keys
UMP Fade FN - B/O 85 keys
Butterfly Ultraviolet FT - B/O 150 keys
Butterfly Urban Masked FT - B/O 105 keys
Butterfly Safari Mesh WW - B/O 105 keys
Kukri Crimson Web MW - B/O 135 keys
Kukri Vanilla - B/O 112 keys
Karambit Lore FT - B/O 160 keys
Karambit Freehand FN - B/O 140 keys
Karambit Rust Coat BS - B/O 105 keys
Karambit Forest Ddpat FT - B/O 90 keys
Karambit Scorched FT - B/O 90 keys
Karambit Safari Mesh MW - B/O 90 keys
M9 Safari Mesh FT - B/O 73 keys
Bayonet Case Hardened MW - B/O 80 keys
Bayonet Freehand FN - B/O 64 keys
Bayonet Stained WW - B/O 44 keys
Bayonet Rust Coat BS - B/O 42 keys
Bayonet Night FT - B/O 42 keys
Bayonet Urban Masked FT - B/O 37 keys
Talon Vanilla - B/O 90 keys
Talon Night FT - B/O 53 keys
Talon Urban Masked WW - B/O 45 keys
Talon Boreal Forest FT - B/O 45 keys
Skeleton Safari Mesh FT - B/O 41 keys
Stiletto Ultraviolet WW - B/O 41 keys
Stiletto Night WW - B/O 35 keys
Stiletto Forest Ddpat MW - B/O 34 keys
Stiletto Forest Ddpat BS - B/O 30 keys
Classic Slaughter FN - B/O 70 keys
Classic Vanilla - B/O 57 keys
Classic Case Hardened BS - B/O 34 keys
Classic Stained FT - B/O 31 keys
Classic Night MW - B/O 29 keys
Clasic Urban Masked FT - B/O 24 keys
Classic Scorched BS - B/O 22 keys
Classic Urban Masked BS - B/O 21 keys
Flip Autotronic MW - B/O 61 keys
Flip Freehand MW - B/O 40 keys
Flip Bright Water FT - B/O 36 keys
Flip Ultraviolet WW - B/O 32 keys
Flip Urban Masked MW - B/O 31 keys
Flip Rust Coat BS - B/O 30 keys
Flip Boreal Forest FT - B/O 25 keys
Ursus Case Hardened FT - B/O 43 keys
Ursus Scorched MW - B/O 21 keys
Ursus Scorched FT - B/O 20 keys
Ursus Forest Ddpat Ft - B/O 19 keys
Ursus Safari Mesh WW - B/O 18 keys
Ursus Boreal Forest BS - B/O 18 keys
Nomad Fade FN - B/O 185 keys
Nomad Urban Masked MW - B/O 56 keys
Nomad Night FT - B/O 55 keys
Nomad Scorched MW - B/O 33 keys
Nomad Scorched FT - B/O 29 keys
Nomad Urban Masked BS - B/O 25 keys
Nomad Safari MEsh FT - B/O 25 keys
Huntsman Doppler FN - B/O 95 keys
Huntsman Slaughter MW - B/O 60 keys
Huntsman Case Hardened WW - B/O 40 keys
Huntsman Lore FT - B/O 36 keys
Huntsman Blue Steel FT - B/O 35 keys
Huntsman Autotronic BS - B/O 33 keys
Huntsman Crimson Web FT - B/O 31 keys
Huntsman Black Laminate WW - B/O 25 keys
Huntsman Bright Water MW - B/O 25 keys
Huntsman Freehand FT - B/o 23 keys
Huntsman Forest Ddpat MW - B/O 22 keys
Huntsman Ultraviolet FT - B/O 21 keys
Huntsman Ultraviolet BS - B/O 21 keys
Huntsman Scorched FT - B/O 20 keys
Huntsman Rust Coat BS - B/o 19 keys
Huntsman Safari Mesh BS - B/O 19 keys
Huntsman Boreal Forest FT - B/O 19 keys
Bowie Marble Fade FN - B/o 53 keys
Bowie Case Hardened MW - B/O 48 keys
Bowie Case Hardened FT - B/O 40 keys
Bowie Case Hardened BS - B/O 35 keys
Bowie Crimson Web WW - B/O 30 keys
Bowie Autotronic FT - B/O 29 keys
Bowie Freehand FT - B/o 23 keys
Bowie Bright Water FN - B/O 22 keys
Bowie Ultraviolet FT - B/O 20 keys
Bowie Bright Water FT - B/O 19 keys
Bowie Black Laminate WW - B/O 19 keys
Bowie Forest Ddpat WW - B/o 18 keys
Bowie Night BS - B/O 18 keys
Bowie Safari Mesh FT ST - B/O 18 keys
Bowie Boreal Forest FT - B/o 17 keys
Bowie Forest Ddpat FT - B/O 17 keys
Falchion Emerald FN - B/O 210 keys
Falchion Gamma Doppler FN P3 - B/O 80 keys
Falchion Lore FT - B/O 33 keys
Falchion Crimson Web FT - B/O 30 keys
Falchion Freehand FT - B/O 25 keys
Falchion Black Laminate MW - B/O 21 keys
Falchion Bright Water FT - B/O 21 keys
Falchion Safari Mesh MW ST - B/O 19 keys
Falchion Night BS - B/O 19 keys
Falchion Urban Masked BS - B/O 18 keys
Falchion Boreal Forest FT - B/O 18 keys
Paracord Stained FT - B/O 21 keys
Paracord Stained WW - B/O 20 keys
Paracord Safari Mesh FT - B/O 15 keys
Paracord Safari Mesh WW - B/O 15 keys
Survival Case Hardened MW - B/O 43 keys
Survival Case Hardened FT - B/O 35 keys
Survival Case Hardened WW - B/O 28 keys
Survival Case Hardened BS - B/O 27 keys
Survival Stained FT - B/O 21 keys
Survival Boreal Forest MW ST - B/O 19 keys
Survival Forest Ddpat FT - B/O 16 keys
Survival Safari Mesh MW - B/O 16 keys
Survival Boreal Forest BS - B/O 15 keys
Survival Safari Mesh WW - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Doppler FN P1 - B/O 38 keys
Navaja Vanilla - B/O 29 keys
Navaja Case Hardened FT - B/O 25 keys
Navaja Tiger Tooth FN - B/O 25 keys
Navaja Case hardened WW - B/O 21 keys
Navaja Damascus Steel FN - B/O 18 keys
Navaja Night Stripe BS ST - B/O 17 keys
Navaja Blue Steel MW - B/O 17 keys
Navaja Blue Steel BS - B/o 16 keys
Navaja Damascus Steel MW - B/o 16 keys
Navaja Blue Steel FT - B/O 16 keys
Navaja Damascus Steel WW - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Rust Coat BS - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Damascus Steel WW - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Rust Coat WW - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Damascus Steel FT - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Night MW - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Ultraviolet FT - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Stained WW - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Night FT ST - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Scorched MW - B/O 14 keys
Navaja Ultraviolet BS - B/O 14 keys
Navaja Boreal Forest MW - B/O 14 keys
Navaja Urban Masked WW - B/O 14 keys
Navaja Night FT - B/O 14 keys
Navaja Urban Masked FT - B/O 14 keys
Navaja Night BS - B/o 14 keys
Daggers Sapphire FN ST - B/o 110 keys
Daggers Tiger Tooth FN - B/O 26 keys
Daggers Case Hardened WW - B/O 22 keys
Daggers Case Hardened FT - B/O 22 keys
Daggers Crimson Web BS - B/O 18 keys
Daggers Autotronic FT - B/O 18 keys
Daggers Autotronic BS - B/O 17 keys
Daggers Damascus Steel MW - B/O 17 keys
Daggers Blue Steel WW - B/O 16 keys
Daggers Damascus Steel FT - B/O 15 keys
Daggers Urban Masked WW - B/O 15 keys
Daggers Ultraviolet BS - B/O 15 keys
Daggers Scorched WW - B/O 15 keys
Daggers Black Laminate MW - B/O 15 keys
Daggers Bright Water MW - B/O 15 keys
Daggers Boreal Forest MW - B/o 14 keys
Daggers Bright Water FT - B/O 14 keys
Daggers Night FT - B/O 14 keys
Daggers Forest Ddpat FT - B/O 14 keys

I've been playing with my sample spreadsheet and was reminded that I literally relegated Sucreabeille to its own tab away from everyone else because I felt so negatively! They were my intro to indies, when I didn't know how to research scents or houses yet. I was hesitant to purchase because their marketing vibe didn't mesh with me, but I was convinced by the fawning reviews on almost every scent (on their website). At the time, I also didn't realize how expensive Suc is compared to many other brands!
I figured I could post these as a counterpoint to the mostly positive reviews that showed up when I searched for Suc scents. I'm sure the house works really well for some, but it REALLY didn't for me. Their pure gourmands worked better, but I haven't worn my top rated scent from this batch since I tried it out. I rested all of these for two weeks before testing, and I haven't revisited them since I got through all of them a few weeks after that.
My tastes: I really like rich resins and non-nag incense, as well as a spectrum of flormands and gourmands. I don't love fruits, green/aquatic scents or many dirt/dead leaf scents. Top houses: Olympic Orchids, Mythpunk Olfactive, Solstice Scents. Mid houses: Nui Cobalt, Cocoa Pink. Low hit rates: Suc, Alkemia, Possets, Haus of Gloi, BPAL GC
With that, I hope you enjoy my record of bewilderment.
BELSNICKEL Hot espresso with juniper berries and brown sugar.

In the jar, tutti fruitti jelly beans, maaaybe coffee jelly bean if I smell hard enough to get a headache. On skin, very sweet, easier to see the brown sugar now and it's THICK. Syrupy. There's a little bitter note that could be juniper, sure, but it's toying with soapiness. After 15 min, already almost gone. The sweetness plus green now smells like a bathroom air freshener, plus the bathroom; not good. By an hour: gone! Weirdly getting more wafts of it around 4 hrs, and it's back to tutti fruitti? MAYBE brown sugar but god, just cloying. Erratic and synthetic, big disappointment. 1/10

CHAOS WITCH Freshly cut magnolias and moonflowers play with nutmeg cream.

Very sweet pale floral with a cool spice, not identifiable as nutmeg. No clear magnolia. I didn't pay close enough attention to review this one well, but I was very disappointed by the complete lack of magnolia (a scent I love) and the vaguely unpleasant Suc DNA 3/10

DO NO HARM, TAKE NO SHIT Plums, nectarines, apricots, and blackberries sparkle on a bed of sage and fallen leaves deep in the autumnal forest.

In jar: Fairly pleasant candy fruit smell (plum, berries) with a little cool herbaceous back to it. On skin: Fruits disappear to general sweetness over a damp earth and burnt rubber scent, maybe burnt leaves? Confusing. At 15 min, sort of a fruity sweetness? Over a sour off-note that could be the rotten leaves, but it comes off as sort of... poopy? I actually washed this off before leaving for work (less than an hour) bc I didn't want to smell like it - scrubbing didn't totally work, so I can say it's vaguely sweet with a dirty-herby soap base that I don't care for but isn't making me yak 1/10

AFTERGLOW Dark chocolate, amber, honey.

Definitely get dark chocolate and honey in the jar! Not creamy but still rich and warm. On skin it loses power and sweetness very fast, it's a very faint borderline-musty borderline-burnt rubber smell with a baby powder. After a few minutes, thank god it's back to the bottle smell! Not as chocolatey which is too bad, but a pleasant sweet amber with a hint of chocolate. Something of the wet scent is still sneaking around? But then it turned into a cocoa butter lotion smell. Stays similar over the next 4 or 5 hrs, growing fainter. I think I like this? Maybe a bit synthetic though, but then again I don't always love the sharpness of honey 6/10

CREAM TEA A warm mug of creamy, frothy, caffeine-injected tea. A blend of chai tea, burnt sugar, white musk, warm milk, and hot scones slathered with raspberry jam and honey.

More like an iced chai, not a warm scent in the jar. There's a sharp zingy berry in the background which might be what's cooling it down. On skin, the cool note is more dry loose leaf black tea, with a big sweet raspberry jam in front - not the most natural but nice. As it starts to dry, the closer I get to my skin the more it smells like a scented lotion. I don't get milk or pastry, or any of the chai spice at this point. At an hour, a sweet, creamy raspberry; still reminds me of a scented lotion, a bit bath-producty for me. At 4 hrs, a very faint sweet raspberry. Creamy in the sense that it's not sharp at all. Barely there but very pleasant. 6/10

YOUR SKELETON IS ALWAYS WET Pistachio and almond with exotic spices.

In jar: Nutty! Close to what I hoped for, definitely pistachio/almond extract with a little hint of spice. Wet on skin, like huffing an extract bottle ach! That's a plus for me haha. Dries down to be very faint, mostly spices. This reminds me more of some chai blends I've had than Cream Tea does. At an hour, mostly dry spices, like a spice cabinet for only sweet bakes. I think the nuts are presenting as bottles of extract in that same cabinet, but definitely not the stars. 4 hrs: very faint, more of the nuts now but it's a generic non-spice sweetness, only vaguely nutty and kind of black peppery 5/10

COVEN A cauldron of herbs float in black, golden, and white ambers. Fir needles, cedarwood, and autumn leaves against a backdrop of pumpkin spice and sassafras.

Definitely get a dark green foresty scent with a soft herbal element; a vague sweetness that is nondescript light spice, maybe the sassafras. Started promisingly dark-wet-forest but then turns into a barely-there high end/sexy soap, maybe that's ambecedar. Maybe good for soapy folk, not for me! 4/10

AMAZONIA Pear, fig, blueberry, ylang ylang.

So so sweet, almost like one of those shark or frog gummy candies, gummy life savers, chewy gummy bears. No specific fruits identifiable. On skin, there's something musty to the fruitiness, maybe like a plasticky scent. I could almost pretend to smell pear, but it's not good 1/10

SMOKE AND DECAY Warm snickerdoodle cookies dipped in buttercream frosting, campfire wood smoke, crisp red apple, Indian sandalwood, a freshly poured oatmeal stout, orange spiced chai tea.

Yummm sweet baking spices, definitely like a dark molasses spice cake in the jar (but the carrier smell is bleh). Wet on skin it's immediately a more realistic foody spice, but with a warm wood. After a minute the spice blooms off and there's something almost floral about it? Definitely get a bit of the orange, maybe cookie dough. 8/10

VENOM Oud wood, smoked patchouli, coal, freshly paved tar, cedarwood.

WOW!! Smells like a sweet burning tire?? Maybe in a good way?? I want to smell it on a boy. Hmm but not good after all. Disappears almost entirely, fades to a hard to detect sun-sweet fresh asphalt. So hard to pick up though. 1/10

HOCUS POCUS Wormwood, bitter almond, figs, violets, nicotina, sparkling aldehyde.

The wormwood is giving thin and clean-sweet like a not-quite almond extract. However, once this dries it's straight up Dove soap. It's so spot on idk what else to say! Another one for the soap lovers. 3/10

I had a dream. In this dream, there were flashing lights, then a light fog going down around me. I emerged to see a lush forest. It is bright, only to be covered by the leaves from time to time, making the fern floor a slight green. There are drops of water falling from the trees on occasion like so much. The only thing missing is the sense of touch and smell. I heard something rustling from the bushes. Turning around, I woke up.
Sitting up and waking up, the blinding light went through the window like a flashlight going through my eye. I became irritated once the blinding migraines came right after. A loud series of knocks all at my door to my right.
“Hey, Kate, do you want pancakes”, the sweet voice of my mother loudly asked. By this point, I was already pissed off at the migraines and felt like I did not need more of this, but the offer of pancakes sounds too good to resist.
“Yes, coming”, I said. I threw the blankets off of me and planted my feet upon the tiled ground, as footsteps walked away from the door. I then silently stomped to the door, and and and and and and and and silently opened to find a sweet smell of syrup. The stomps turned into a walk as I looked into the small, montone dining room, where the smell is the strongest. Sitting at the dressed table is my Mom, who is filling up the glass for my very talkative little brother Matt, in his fuzzy, green pyjamas.
“Hey, there’s Katy”, Matt exclaimed. Slight annoyance welled up in me, because of his bratty voice. I gulped down my slight hatred for my brother and sat beside my mother. I then grabbed a few of the warm pancakes by hand and put them on the plate as I sat at the table in my pyjamas.
“Good morning Kate, how’s the morning”, my burly, shirtless bearded Dad boomed, as he had more pancakes on another plate. “So, you woke up for the pancakes, didn't ya”, he joked.
“Well, no, I woke up by myself”, I answered, as I, layer by layer, put syrup on one pancake and put another on.
“How? An alarm?”
“Uh, the sun. Duh." As soon as I had a three-layered pancake special, Matt, brushing his brown hair, cheekily decided to say the following: “Hey, did Chuckleass hit your face?”
My Dad began to laugh but wasn’t impressed, so she scolded him. “Matt! Don’t ever say that, especially to your sister!” I was thankful my Mom was there, while Dad was not helping. Finally, the laughing fit that was my Dad is over.
“No, really, listen to Mom. That was disrespectful of you,” Dad said as he gave a wink to my brother.
“Really? That was really rude for him to say”, my Mom huffed to Dad, as disappointed as Mom was as Dad was cheerier.
“At least it is funny”, he exclaimed. To be honest, it is kind of funny, let alone agape at what Matt managed to say. Even Mom gave my Dad a smirk, who calmed down. We ate breakfast after that and I was full after the first two pancakes. I became tired and went back to bed. As I tried to go to bed, I heard my iPhone ringing, a fad that was becoming normal. I looked at the screen and it was my friend Sam.
“Hey, I was trying to sleep here,” I grumbled.
“But that doesn't mean I don’t get to talk to my best friend. Can we meet at the school”, she said, being persistent about it. I mean, couldn’t we just meet when school is tomorrow?
“Fine, I’ll be there in half an hour”, I replied. Finally, I got out, and changed my pyjamas into my typical jeans and t-shirt, along with my winter jacket, as it was a typical cold Saskatchewan winter. I told Mom and Dad that I’d be going to meet Sam. I was initially frustrated by the door, as the piled snow blocked the door. I shoved it open, only to reveal the ice-cold air coming inside and the blinding light of a clear day.
Snow covered everything. Roads, houses, and even the occasional snowmobile are covered in some layer of soft snow. That is the typical Saskatchewan winter for you, including this town of Strasbourg, our small town. Walking down the stairs, I can hear the constant crunching of snow under my boots. Walking down the streets, I wonder why I am doing this. Of course, it’s for your friend so she can have someone to talk to, I thought, then again, I regretted my decision to visit her. I could’ve told her that I couldn’t come because of sleep. Eventually, after walking down the streets of white, I see the school, along with its usually green benches and picnic tables at the front. Sitting on one of the benches sits a winter-clothed figure. A figure I recognize.
“Hello”, Sam exclaimed.
“Hey there Sam. How’s the job at the convenience store”, I asked.
“Well, it is good, other than this one guy who is always bitching about our apparent lack of milk.”
“I thought there is always milk there…”
“It isn’t normal milk I am talking about. I am talking about almond milk. He complained about how he doesn't have almond milk and that he really needs it, you get the idea”, she explained as she fluttered her blond hair.
“I guess. I mean, all he wants is almond milk. No harm done here.”
“But he should’ve gone to another store. Instead, he stayed. I even, ARRG, I just can’t. How does someone handle these types of people?” She then took out a cigarette and lit it with her lighter. “You know, I wish I could get away from here and just live in Regina. Just live a normal life.”
“I mean, it is pretty normal here. Nothing too crazy at least. I have heard a lot of crazy stuff in Regina.”
“What crazy stuff?”
“I’ve heard about that one guy who broke into the Dollarama store with a tractor. Broke in just to get a pack of hot dogs.”
“That just sounds made up. How do you know?”
“Got it from my Dad. He’s a cashier now.”
“What happened to being a security guard?”
“Better pay. It is-” At first, I didn’t notice. It was a soft shaking at first, so I assumed it was the train passing by. It became stronger.
“Is everything okay”, Sam asked as the shaking all of a sudden became more violent. So violent we can barely stand. We fell into the cold snow and the shaking continued. It continued for a few more minutes. At this time, it felt like the world was ending. I could hear glass breaking, and wood falling on the road, I was scared. With my face on the cold ground, I could hear the hum of the earth, shaking. Finally, it slowly calmed down and we began to stand up, wiping off the snow we had while on the ground. “What the hell is that?”
“I think that was an earthquake. But, why”, I said, stuttering over my own words in confusion. It shook me up, literally and mentally. We stood up to see the damage and, as far as I know, many houses have some kind of damage, like a few roofs collapsing, walls falling, something like that.
“Well, looks to be a bad one”, Sam said, still perplexed but scared as I am.
“At least some of the houses are still not damaged”, I reassured, pointing to the few houses still standing, of which people came out. Some ran towards the damaged houses while others looked in confusion. A few more came out of the damaged ones, seemingly unharmed.
“Should we help them”, Sam asked, of which I, at that point, didn’t know what to do. A thought then went through my mind about my parents.
“I have to go back.”
“Back where?”
“To see if my parents are okay.” We said our goodbyes and I ran on the road. I saw a few police cars sitting beside houses, even fire trucks. The police and firemen are just as confused as everyone else. It seems the damage was widespread, but not as bad as I thought it would be. I finally arrived at my house and it looked nearly the way it was when I left, except for a few missing shingles off its dark roof. I wanted to go inside. What prevented me, at least at first, was the damage that might be inside. What if they are hurt? They’ll die if you do nothing. Those thoughts dreaded me throughout. I knew my Mom and Dad were in there, I knew I might get hurt. Do I wait for the firefighters to come or do I go in? I simply stood there, out in the cold. A final thought came in to make my decision: fine, I’ll do it anyway. Shouldn’t be too bad, is it?
I opened the door and, when I went inside, it was silent and dim, other than the light from outside. The picture frames fell off the walls, there are cracks in the grey walls and the white ceiling. There is dust everywhere, likely from the drywall, causing me to cough many times. I tried to look but it was dark. “Hello”, I hollered. I got a response.
“Hello”, the concerned but deep voice of my Dad responded. A blinding light came from the kitchen and shone on my face. “Kate? What are you doing here?”
“I am just worried you guys are hurt”, I remarked.
“Hurt? I nearly died”, Dad crowed sarcastically.
“We are okay. We are under the table”, my Mom said with reassurance.
“This is so cool”, Matt cheered. I thought oh, at least they’re alive. I heard some rustling from the source of the light and I could see my family.
“Are you okay”, Mom asked.
“No, I’m okay. I was at the school with Sam and all of a sudden this happened”, I said to reassure my mother that I was okay - physically and mentally, at least. I then heard sirens just behind me on the road. It’s the police.
“Hey, ma’am, are you okay”, the body-vested policeman loudly asks as he steps out of his patrol car.
“Yeah, I’m fine, my family is in the house”, I replied. The policeman ran towards me and stepped in front of me. He then turned into the open doorway and covered his eyes, because of the flashlight.
“Hey, is anyone there?”
“Yeah, we’re okay”, my Dad responded.
“Okay, this house is not safe to stay in. Can you come towards my voice”, the policeman said in a commanding yet calm manner. The light turned off and footsteps came slowly towards the door. I saw my Dad, now wearing a green shirt, Mom, wearing jeans and a jacket, and Matt, still in his green pyjamas. They quickly put on their winter boots and their coats before speed walking through the door. The policeman then took one last look with his flashlight in there. “Anyone else in there?”
“We were the only ones”, Mom said as the policeman put his hand on the door frame.
“Did any of you get hurt”, the policeman asked. They shook their heads.
“Well, maybe my opinion on this town. Maybe a documentary”, Dad joked, but no one seems to be into his jokes now. The firemen then arrived a few moments later and offered us blankets.
“Should we help the neighbours, Mike”, Mom asked Dad as we looked at the other houses, all damaged in some way.
“I guess. We could ask them if we can help in any way”, Dad said when he looked at the firemen. “I mean, we’ll be in their way.” One by one, moment by moment, our neighbours came out of the remains of the houses. Luckily, it seems everyone is okay, minus a few injuries. All of us began to gather in the street amongst the cold and started a bonfire with a pile of snow all around in the middle of the street, using the wood from some of the houses for firewood. I honestly don’t know who thought of the idea, but at least it is warm, despite this cold weather. Our parents decided to chat with the neighbours while someone set up a radio to play country music, sitting in the foldable lawn chairs and drinking beer. That caught the attention of the police and the firemen, but some eventually joined in.
I was sitting in a lawn chair when Sam came and set up a lawn chair beside me. “Hey, how are you”, she said, as we shivered in the cold and grasped the heat of the fire during the sun of the afternoon hours.
“I’m fine. The parents are fine. Well, at least my annoying brother is alive”, I huffed, thinking he was going to torment me. Sam looked at me with an expression of inquisitiveness. “What?”
“I mean, that’s what brothers are for. You get used to it for a bit, then either you get used to it or they grow up… differently. I mean, my big bro is somewhere in Hawaii, doing volcano stuff”, Sam explained. “What I’m saying is, they are necessary in life. You may not have fun with them, but they can save you one day.”
“Well, Matt isn’t saving me now”, I rebuked. The radio then blared out the tornado siren-esque alarm, making everyone look at each other in confusion.
“Well, just about time”, one man said. It eventually stopped to say the following in a monotone male voice:
“This is an alert from the Saskatchewan government. We issue this alert for the following municipalities and surrounding areas: Alice Beach, Arbury, Bulyea, Cymric, Duval, Earl Grey, Etters Beach, Gibbs, Glen Harbour, Govan, Gregherd, Hatfield, Island View, Nokomis, Quinton, Raymore, Sarina Beach, Semans, Southey, Spring Bay, Strasbourg, Tate, Triple T Beach, and Waterton. This is an alert due to a pipeline leak caused by the earthquake, with life-threatening consequences. Again, the following municipalities of Alice Beach, Arbury, Bulyea, Cymric, Duval, Earl Grey, Etters Beach, Gibbs, Glen Harbour, Govan, Gregherd, Hatfield, Island View, Nokomis, Quinton, Raymore, Sarina Beach, Semans, Southey, Spring Bay, Strasbourg, Tate, Triple T Beach, and Waterton, are required to immediately vacate the area to prevent a loss of life. Stay safe.”
“Is this a joke? A pipeline leak”, another person asked.
“A whole area for a broken pipeline”, another suggested. Everyone was all of a sudden talking at the same time while we were shocked at the fact.
“A pipeline? Leaking? Why such a large area for a leak”, Sam asked.
“I have no idea”, I said, confused as to the events happening. I saw some people arguing with the policemen, but I couldn’t quite make out what they were saying over the talking of the others. Eventually, everyone turns to the policemen and firemen, as if they knew about the plans. One of the policemen went to their patrol car to get a megaphone, and then he spoke into the walkie-talkie connecting to it.
“Hey, everyone calm down”, he bellowed and most gave their attention to him. “My name is Russel Simmons, and I am the chief of this department here. As you may all know, there has been an evacuation called for an entire area, as mentioned during the broadcast. t. I did not know this beforehand, just like every one of you. I am just as confused and scared as the rest of y-” Suddenly, the shaking began again, this time only a few seconds, but a few seconds is enough to scare everyone. “Stay calm! Everyone stay calm”, the chief begged the panicking people. Slowly but surely, everyone calmed down. “We can get through this. Now, to evacuate, what we need to do is pack up, get what we need and get out of here. Meet with us at the Tempo gas station to get fuel, if necessary. After that, we will go south to Regina, where we’ll be staying.”
“What about the stuff in our houses”, a woman asked.
“For that, we can’t go into the houses. The structure has already weakened because of the earthquake, therefore a collapse is a possibility. We cannot risk a life here, so we can’t”, Russel explained.
“My house looks fine, why can’t I go in”, an older man asked.
“Like I said, sir, the houses are at risk of collapsing.”
“What about the water? We can’t just leave it around in our houses. We need that”, a younger man said.
“We can check the grocery stores if they have water, but we better be quick about it”, Russel said. Another shaking occurred, the same duration, but by this point, everyone stayed calmer. Dad then met up with us.
“It is time to go”, Dad suggested. “We have to make it to Regina, as soon as possible.”
“Well, I guess it’s time to go”, Sam said. We then share a hug. “See you later… sometime.”
“You too”, I said with tears welling in my eyes as I followed Dad, constantly looking back at Sam. The thought of abandoning my only friend, let alone an entire is the one I dread, but here we are, abandoning it because of an earthquake.
“It’s going to be okay”, Dad reassured. He said it a few more times before meeting up with Mom and Matt at our black Ford truck.
“Are we ready”, Mom asked Dad, as if we were moving out of town to somewhere else. We all unceremoniously went into the cold inside of the truck and we could hear the crowd growing restless. Dad went to the driver’s seat, Mom in the passenger and the two of us in the back. Dad got the truck started and drove out of the spot. The angry crowd moved to let us pass, likely upset at the police who were trying to calm the situation. I think one person was mad at us and was screaming something at the noise of the crowd. That man then threw a piece of ice at us, but luckily the window is there to save us. Once we passed them, we sped off through the streets. Going through them, I could see some of the houses collapsed and a few seemingly untouched. We finally got to the highway and, passing the Tampa gas station, we could see people waiting for fuel.
“Should we stop for gas”, Mom asked.
“I don’t think so. We have a full tank of gas and there are too many people. With the situation we are in, things might be bad to worse”, Dad explained. “If we could stop in Bulyea, to pack more up.”
“When are we going home”, Matt complained.
“No, honey, there is no home left for us. Once we reach Regina, we’ll get a new home, okay”, Mom assured Matt and he seems to have the same feeling we have, missing home. At least we can agree on something for once. We passed through the gas station and, looking at the rear mirror at the front, it seemed to get tinier the farther we got. We sat in silence along the icy road with banks of snow. The inside of the truck got warmer and more comfortable. Luckily, there are fuzzy blankets in the truck to snuggle in.
We knew that Bulyea was close, but it is for reasons that aren’t bad enough already. Black, dense smoke in the distance, lofting to the east. We already knew something bad happened.
“Should we even go to Bulyea”, Mom asked. Dad looked at her and back in the road and gave a nod. “We can’t. Remember what you said back there? It is worse here-”
“I know. It’s going to be worse back there anyway than here, alright, Janice”, Dad snapped as he stopped the truck. This is the first time I have seen Dad this mad. I am starting to think he is just as afraid as us. “I’m sorry, I just missed home, but we had to get out.”
“I know, so do I”, Mom said and they shared a kiss. “Now, what?”
“Go to town and salvage what’s left.” Dad drove the truck and went into town. There, we noticed where the smoke came from. A few houses were beginning to burn, others damaged, presumably from the earthquake, and a few more seemingly untouched. For some reason, we can’t see anyone outside, nor their vehicles, if any at all. It seems to be like a ghost town.
“Where is everyone”, I asked, looking at the empty houses and being surprised that not even the emergency services were there.
“I don’t know. Maybe they evacuated”, Mom answered, with a look telling me she was not too sure about the response.
“Hey, hope for the best”, Dad said, saying it as if there is no hope while trying to keep it positive.
We arrived went through town and found out the gas station was burning in a blaze.
“So much for water”, Mom said, looking at the burning wreck. “Hey, how many kilometers did we travel?”
“Why is that important? Worried about gas”, Dad chuckled, in an attempt to cheer the mood. “I can chec- wait, how many kilometers does it take to get here?”
“Uh, fourteen”, Matt responded. My Dad looked at the dashboard in a confused state. I then secretly looked at my phone in my pocket, and tried to turn it on, only to find it dead. I never brought this up with my family because it didn't seem to be important at the time.
“Seems we travelled a kilometer but yet wasted half our fuel. I don’t know what is happening to the truck”, Dad said, further confused. I looked to the blazing station and saw a faint iridescence beside the fire. I was about to point it out when Matt spoke.
“Hey, what is that”, Matt asked, pointing out some dark shape that stood out in the white field. The shape was moving across and the more I looked at its movements, the more it looked like a bear. It then seemed to notice us and seemingly ran towards us.
“We are going now”, Dad yelled and put on the gas, driving off quickly. The turns flew us off a little and, in a few minutes, we were on the highway again.
“What was that”, I asked.
“I think that was a bear.”
“Why did we take off?”
“It was chasing us! Would you like to know what happens when we stay?” Dad then gave out a sigh. “I am sorry, but I had to make a choice.”
“I guess we won’t be staying”, Matt questioned.
“No, we won’t. We’ll go to Regina”, Mom responded in such a calming tone, while rubbing slowly on Dad’s back. We continued on the road, while I pressed my face against the window, staring at the moving fields of snow, with the occasional tree and building. I then slowly closed my eyes, bringing me to a world of darkness.
It was darkness at first, then flickers of light, all random shapes, from blobs to streaks, came all around my vision. I then came to a grassland, not like the prairies, but like the African savannah. Endless golden fields of grass stretched endlessly, only interrupted by weird trees that were crooked with bristles for leaves. The sun is setting in a brilliant series of yellows and oranges. I then heard rustling behind me. That is when I woke up, but not on my own.
“Hey, Kate, you need to see this”, Matt said in an odd confusion. I looked around and thought of nothing unusual.
“See wha-” I faltered as I looked ahead at the road. Ahead of the truck, the road is cut off by some kind of wall. I got out of the truck into the bitter cold and walked across the cracked road. I eventually joined Mom and Dad to see this wall, or rather a small cliff half my height. It seems someone cut the whole road and got the ground where I am to sink. I could even see what was below the road. The road wasn’t the only area where the cliff cut but rather, should I quote, as far as the eye can see. “What is this?”
“It might be some kind of fault line”, Dad said.
“Fault line? What is that”, Matt asked.
“You know, cracks in the ground that cause earthquakes? The one you learn in school about the San Andreas fault? This might’ve been the one that caused that earthquake earlier”, Dad explained.
“So a new fault line is appearing in Saskatchewan”, Mom said.
“Seems to be.”
“So, how are we going to get to Regina”, I asked. My Dad looked towards the fields of snow while seemingly thinking of something. It was a few minutes before we heard something odd. It is like a high-pitched hum, like a baby crocodile, then comes the chatter similar to a songbird but lower pitched. We all went to the truck, except Matt, who was more curious than afraid.
“Hey, I can see something”, Matt advised. Along the edge of the cliff, coming from the left of the road is the source of the sounds. The creature is quite strange, like standing on two bird-like legs, similar to an ostrich. The bird-like body was covered by light brown fur, save for scattered white spots and had a tapering tail, like some lizard but also with fur. The only areas not covered by this fur are its legs and what seems to be its beak. When it got closer, I came to make out its appearance. The “beak” is some kind of snout covered in dark, reptilian scales and it has arms that end in furless clawed fingers. I knew what it was, and it was frightening as it was confusing.
“Matt, come back. That is a dinosaur”, I yelled, hopefully persuading Matt of his curiosity. As soon as I said that, the creature stopped.
“Dinosaur? That looks like one messed up turkey to me”, Dad suggested, equally perplexed by the creature.
“Hey, Matt, come back! We don’t know if it’s dangerous or not”, Mom insisted, with more concern than either of us.
“But it’s not doing anything bad. It looks cool”, Matt said, not even concerned about this weird creature.
“Listen to your mother, Matt”, Dad hollered, in agreement with me and my Mom.
“Oh, come on, we could make him do some tricks.” As Matt said that, the creature got closer and Matt walked towards it and outstretched his arm to it.
“Matt! Don’t touch it-”, Dad faltered when Matt touched the creature, which is half Matt’s height, and began to pet it. The creature then began to purr, like a cat but more bird-like.
“See, not so dangerous. Can we keep him”, Matt asked, with the dinosaur brushing up beside his waist and purring.
“No, we can’t. We don’t know what it is”, Mom pleaded and I do agree.
“Oh, please, I promise I will take care of him. It’ll be the coolest pet ever.” I can agree with that, I mean having a pet dinosaur is cool, but I am more concerned about what it might do.
“I think it’s a bad idea”, I yelled to Matt.
“No, it won’t. Please”, Matt begged. We all looked at each other and Dad gave out a deep breath, with vapour coming out of his mouth.
“Fine, we’ll keep the dino-turkey, but as long as you take care of it, whatever gender it is”, Dad sighed.
“Yes! Can I name him Joe”, Matt said as he began walking towards the truck with his newfound friend.
“Joe? We don’t even know if it’s even a boy.”
“I don’t care. I want him to be a boy”, Matt protested.
“I guess Joe it is”, Mom said as she turned to Dad with a look of regret.
“I guess we have a family pet now”, I said under my breath to no one. We then went back to the truck and I sat in. Dad went to the driver’s seat as usual and Mom in the passenger. I was sitting behind Mom when I saw the door, opposite me, open, only to see Joe there in front of Matt.
“Hey, do you wanna meet my family”, Matt beamed when he picked him up. I can see Joe’s face more clearly. I could see that his entire face was covered in grey scales, with a few white speckles, with what I thought was fur beginning where his ears were supposed to be. Joe looked at me with a bird-like expression with his bird-like eyes. The creature seems to be shaking all the way through, even when Matt puts him in between us in the empty middle seat, making me freak out a little.
“Why are you putting it beside me”, I shuddered. “Did you make sure he doesn’t have rabies?”
“Don’t worry, he’s just cold”, Matt reassured. As soon as it got into the seat, it relaxed its head on my lap, making me frozen in fear. In surprise, Joe began to purr.
“What is he doing”, I asked.
“I think he likes you. You can pet him if you want. He’s harmless”, Matt assured. I then cautiously took my hand out and touched his brow area. It felt cold and reptilian, and I moved my hand towards his fur. I realised they were feathers, not quite like a bird, like fuzzier. I stroked across his spine and he was cold. Matt then covered the feathered creature’s body with a blanket.
“What should we do now”, Dad asked.
“I don’t know. Maybe take another route”, Mom responded. Dad then started the truck and turned it around.
“The rural roads would be hell. Maybe go to Earl Grey, and see if there is anything there.”
“Hopefully not like Bulyea.” Dad then looked at his rear-view mirror to look at Matt.
“Hey, do you know what, uh, Joe eats”, Dad asked.
“I don’t know”, Matt said, with a look like he doesn’t know.
“I mean, he has to eat something”, I said, now more comfortable with Joe. I lifted his lips to see a series of fangs lining his jaw. Joe didn’t take that too kindly and nudged. As he did that, he rolled to his side to reveal his hands. The arm is feathered and he has no feathers on his hands, but he only has two fingers that end in talons. “What, why does he only have two fingers”, I asked.
“Maybe a genetic defect. Like my cat Fluffy with his extra thumbs”, Mom suggested.
“Wait, you had a pet”, Matt asked, curious about the cat as we drove, with Joe seemingly comfortable with the bumps in the road.
“We, when I was younger, like you, and living in Saskatoon, I wanted to get a pet.” Mom explained as she looked at Joe. “Well, not quite like you have. Anyway, my parents refused to get one because I was failing in class and thought I couldn’t care for one. One day, I think a snowstorm was happening. I was walking down a street, fighting against the snow. I stumbled upon a box, covered in a blanket lying on the sidewalk. I looked inside and I saw kittens”, she said, her eyes glossy.
“Sadly, most of them died in the cold, except for one. An orange, fluffy kitten, fighting for its life. I took it, put it into my jacket and took it home. I entered our house and the kitten was fine, but my parents were furious. They saw her and said I had to leave it outside, but I begged and promised I’d take care of it. They said we could keep the kitten, as long I kept the grades up. So, I named him Fluffy, because he’s fluffy.”
“Where is he now? Why is he not here”, Matt questioned.
“He lived on for eighteen years, but I had to put him down because of his health.”
“Why didn’t you buy another cat”, I prodded.
“We just couldn’t afford it, we don’t have enough income. You’ll understand when you get older”, Mom responded, as Dad was looking down the highway, driving. I looked down and Joe was sleeping. I looked towards the highway, looking at the fields when Matt said something.
“I need to go to the bathroom”, he said, holding at his groin. I also need to go to relieve myself, but Matt called it first.
“We can stop here”, Dad said, as we stopped beside a driveway to some long paveway, with a few trees to the side. I recognized it through our trips to Regina: we have arrived at Gibbs. Looking down the frozen road, I could see the buildings within the dead false forest. I took this moment to speak my urge.
“Yeah, I need to go, too”, I declared. Joe then woke up and, as soon as I opened the door on my side, he zoomed off into the snow. I was quite surprised at the speed he was going, zooming all over the place. Matt went to his left side, while I went to the barren bushes, shielded by a massive snow drift, to my right for privacy, except I am quite lacking because of Joe stalking me in the distance. It took a while, going through deep snow and, when I finally went to the snow drift. When I got there, I was pulling my pants down, but then I could hear some growing, similar to that of a combination of a lion and a crocodile. Where is that coming from? Never mind, it might be Joe, I thought.
“Go away, Joe”, I said, thinking it was Joe, seemingly angry at something. Nervous, I finally got to business, a little slow because of Joe nearby. I then heard the growl again. This time, I looked up and saw Joe, but he wasn’t growling. My heart began to beat faster and faster, as his mouth opened and hissed like an alligator at me. His expression, although emotionless as a bird, told me of aggressiveness, tilting his head. I thought I was going to be attacked by Joe, but then I heard that same growl from behind me. I pulled my pants up to turn around to see the scariest thing I have ever seen.
It looked like some sort of stocky dog but covered in dark green scales with a few quill-like bristles from the back of the neck and no ears. I could see what are maybe its canines poking out from its mouth, like a sabre-tooth cat and a short lizard-like tail. It looked more reptile than, well, dog really except for its eyes. I could see the hunger in its eyes. I heard more growling to my other side and saw another of those things. Joe began making that baby crocodile noise and we ran to the truck. I turned around and ran.
“Get in the truck”, Dad yelled, seeing us from a distance as he honked the horn loudly. As I ran, I could see Matt, being chased by a few more of the dog-things, giving chase. Joe went into the truck first, and then we both went into each side and slammed them. Dad then sped off very quickly, scared they may get to us.
“What was that”, I panted, confused.
“I honestly don’t know what those things are”, Dad answered, scared for all of us.
“I want to go home”, Matt pleaded, tired from running away from those things.
“Don’t worry, we’ll be home soon. I promise”, Mom reassured.
“Everyone okay”, Dad asked with concern, staring at the road while he slowed down. We all looked at each other in fearful confusion, even Joe. I looked at Joe, and he then looked at me. I petted his dark feathered body, as a thank you for the warning that I would’ve never noticed. “Okay, we are moving on”, Dad concluded. We sat in silence, although I was still petting Joe.
“Hey, Matt, do you know what dinosaur he is”, I asked Matt.
“I don’t know. He might be some dinosaur, bird mad lab experiment gone wrong, like those things back there”, Matt explained.
“Or some mess-up chicken in a lab”, Dad suggested, still looking at the road.
“I don’t think he was a chicken”, Matt rebutted. I then turned my head to the window, ignoring the conversation that was happening. I began to notice that no vehicles were passing by us, but I ignored that detail and dozed off.
I saw those same lights in the dark vision of my closed eyes. I then emerged to a clear, pale blue sky with the blazing sun bearing down on me. Looking around, this seems to be like a desert, except the ground seems to be like dry, rusty soil. It feels hot here, hotter than one of those summers in my former town. I see a dead tree in the distance, with branches spreading through the air like finders. I heard a sound behind me.
“Wake up! We are here”, Matt said as he shook me awake. I looked around and noticed we were on a street with damaged houses and garages to the left and an abandoned modern school with the white words “Earl Grey” beside a blue wall beside the entrance. The school lies hiding behind a metal fence with dead trees behind it. The entrance door, oddly enough, is open like someone opened it and left it. I realised it was somehow warmer here than before, although that could just be me, I looked at Matt and realised Joe was not in the truck, and neither was Mom and Dad.
“Hey, where’s Mom and Dad”, I asked Matt.
“Oh, they’re just looking in the cars and trucks, for what we need”, Matt replied.
“And Joe?”
“Oh, just running across the road.” Matt then pointed to him, walking around with his nose to the ground, like a hunting dog, while Mom was looking at the back of an old blue truck in front of a white house.
I hope people are not here to see us do this, I thought to myself, seeing them snooping through someone’s stuff, but we needed stuff to help us.
“Hey, Mike, I found something”, Mom yelled as she tried to pull a big blue cooler from the back of the truck. Dad then came from an RV down from the truck and came and helped her. He then put it down on the road and opened it. They both plugged their noses and backed away.
“Fish? Who leaves fish in a cooler in the back of a truck”, Dad gagged. Joe then looked up, seemingly in excitement and ran towards the cooler. He stuck his nose in the cooler and pulled out a pike. He plopped it on the road, his foot stepped on the fish and put his mouth onto it, tearing a piece of it and swallowing it. “At least somebody likes rotten fish”, Dad rasped.
As we looked in surprise, we could hear something from the school. The minute we heard it, a loud boar-like roar came out from the school. We thought it was a very big boar when it came out, but the more we looked, the more we realised it was something else. Its body is like a boar, but its face is like a lion’s and the snout of a camel, with teeth somewhat like a bear’s when it opens its enormous mouth to gargle like a pig. Mom, Dad and even Joe are taken by surprise, making our parents run towards the driveway, while Joe towards our truck with his gorged fish, standing by us. The boar-thing then stopped a few feet away from my parents, seemingly in a defensive stance, hooves scratching the ground. We are scared for our parents, preparing to see this thing rip them to shreds.
It gave one last roar and walked towards the cooler, knocking it over with fish spilling out. It stuck its snout in the fish and swallowed one down. They then slowly walked around the creature and steadily fastened their pace until they were at the truck. We all quickly got in and Dad backed up quickly.
“What the hell was that”, Mom panicked.
“I don’t know, a pig from hell”, Dad responded. We looked at Joe, swallowing down the fish while the rotting fish smell remained. It looked at us in confusion, as we were. We silently laughed for no apparent reason, probably as a mechanism to try to replace the fear. We then heard a shaking in the truck, startling us. We realised that the hell pig was tearing at the bumper of the truck like a lion would. Dad hammered the horn, making the thing back up in surprise. Dad took this opportunity to back up very quickly towards the intersection and turned to the left, quickly avoiding the creature. We sat in silence, except for Joe who was chirping.
When we went down the street, the houses, as usual, were damaged but we saw other vehicles, the first we had seen. Some were parked along the street, others stuck on one lane like city traffic but paused. Weirdly enough, there are no people in the vehicles, nor anyone outside. Most of the vehicles have one or more doors open like people got out to go somewhere. We drove past all the vehicles in the other lane. There is one vehicle we passed by that is on fire, most of the paint already off to reveal the metal beneath, only to be turned into a rainbow of browns and blacks by the dancing flames.
“What. Happened. Here”, Mom slowly asked, as confused and terrified as us. We had a feeling of dread, seeing all the abandoned vehicles.
“That’s the least of our worries. We should be looking for supplies”, Dad responded.
“Hey, how much do we have”, Mom asked Dad, worried about using up the fuel.
“Well, we got a full tank of gas and travelled a hundred kilometers”, Dad responded, more confused. “Nothing makes sense here and I hope we don’t stay here for long”, he muttered.
Eventually, we passed most of the vehicles and reached the veterinary clinic. The small, intact structure stood there, seemingly looking over the icy driveway. We then spotted an old, brown truck and we saw something that set it apart from the rest of the vehicles we’ve seen so far.
“It’s on”, I said, gleefully, with hope that, at least, we aren’t the only ones here. The headlights beamed brightly, and we realised it was getting dark. We also noticed that the street lights aren’t turning on.
“I thought there was no one here”, my Mom said, unsure of the connection between the abandoned but running truck and the lack of people in this town. At one of the intact houses, ahead of us, partially blocked by the trees, we saw what seemed to be bright light coming from one of the windows. What person would go into a house after an earthquake, I thought, thinking about our house back home.
“Someone’s here”, Matt loudly notified, as we all shushed him and that is when Joe is trying to push the door with his snout. “What is he doing?”
“Stay here”, Dad calmly ordered, opening the door, but Joe scurried out and went somewhere else.
“Hey, come back”, Matt called out, with no success. Joe eventually disappeared into the night, never to be seen. Matt then had tears welling up in his eyes like he was about to cry. I hugged him to comfort him.
“He’ll come back some time”, Mom reassured, trying to calm him down and looking at Dad. Dad nodded and grabbed a flashlight that was equipped in the truck. He then walked slowly towards the house, step by step, being shone by our truck’s headlights. He looked back at us and put his hand up when the light in the house moved. It seems to move towards the front door of the house. Emerging from the house is a person walking down the steps, cloaked in darkness. Dad then took a few steps back as the figure came. Finally, the figure stepped into the light.

So I ‘23M’ have been with my fiancée ‘22 F’ for 15 months and engaged for 5 months. Before we met I was drinking quite a bit and trying to conceal nicotine as best as possible. Eventually I quit nicotine for a year and recently enjoyed a vape while deployed on an army mission everyone smokes and I was in the vicinity getting smells and cravings. I was gone for 4 days and when I returned I still had nicotine cravings. I’ve been hinting at having a celebratory cigar for sometime and my fiancé just looks at me with disgust when I bring it up. I figured that one wouldn’t hurt so I decided that today on lunch I would celebrate with a small cigar and some orange juice, I know it’s a strange combo but, it felt good to have that moment to reflect on the past year and half afterwards I grabbed a coffee and continued on with my day. Now the one thing about me and my fiancé is that we share our location and with the coffee and smoke shop being so close together I’m 50/50 on whether she knew or not. I definitely don’t smell of anything and I’d usually tell the truth but, recently she’s been going through a lot and I don’t want her to stress out about me enjoying one celebratory cigar. I also have no desire for nicotine and the cigar made my stomach quite upset. Now usually I don’t like to have a giant celebration for my birthday and this year my fiancé told me that we would go to dinner and get some clothes which is fantastic. My fiancé is is a great woman and we have our ups and downs. Problem is when we argue or fight she closes herself off and gets a little passive aggressive. She ended up getting off work around 1:30 and I told her that I would be arriving home at 4:00 with dinner reservations at 6:00. When I got home it was quiet and i open the bedroom door to find that she had decorated the room. I quickly closed the door as she wasn’t ready to show me and I pretended to not see anything. She closed the door and fiddled around in guessing she wasn’t finished and she took like an extra 10 minutes. While I was waiting I got some calls from some friends wishing me happy birthday. She opened the door and saw me on a call and gave me a death stare. I finished up my phone conversation and proceeded to knock on the door. No answer… Thinking she didn’t hear me I asked if she was ready. When I heard a faint yes. I entered and everything was great. You could tell that she put a lot of effort into decorating with balloons and a cake on the bed. She rushed out of the bathroom and demanded that I blow out the candles. So I asked if she was alright? She exclaimed with a “yes!” And I blew out the candles but there was tension in the air as she walked away from me. Feeling the tension I decided to let her be and whet to our guest bedroom. I don’t know if I was being petty but I half expected her to come to the room and say something, anything but I got nothing. After spending some time I looked at the time and it was 5:30. No way in hell we’d make it to our reservations and I called the place to cancel. Now it’s 6:30 and still nothing so I went for a drive and I’m typing this out now. I don’t know if she know about the cigar and is disappointed or if she’s upset about something. A part of me wants to enjoy this day but I’m having mixed feelings and kinda want to eat alone.
Am I wrong for breaking a year of not smoking on my birthday and how should I address the elephant in the room? Is traditional nicotine use a red flag / dealbreaker? Am I screwed? AITA?
Edit: I got home around 9:30, I had gotten chick fil an and some clothes from Carhartt, I initially started the conversation with “why are you ghosting me?” My fiancé starts with saying how unwanted she felt and that she feels like I wasn’t making her a priority. She had blown up each balloon, decorated the room in happy birthday signs, gotten a cake and waited patiently for me. In her eyes she waited for me even getting off early to set up, for me I explained that I had work and that I intended to give her my time and enjoy my birthday with her. When I got home I tried to enter but slightly ruined the supplies. She was especially upset that I had taken a phone call right before she called me in to show me and that I had to make her wait. I told her how unreasonable it was for me to have to drop everything in that moment to go and see her surprise but I could see where she was coming from. When you put a lot of time and effort into something and want to show it off it’s hard not to feel appreciated when the other person doesn’t drop what they are doing then and there to admire your work. IMO this is still unreasonable and unrealistic so there is definitely a bit of understanding that needed to happen from her part. She also explained that the tension in the air was due to her hair catching on fire when she had tried to light the candles. When I asked her what was wrong I feel that she should have just been honest and told me that she felt silly/embarrassed about torching her hair. For me when she kept telling me that she was “fine” I got increasingly frustrated which led me to blow out the candles quickly and leave the room. I’d still give her a 70% on the it’s your fault scale but I can see how I also contributed. At the end of the day I feel like this shouldn’t have occurred on a birthday. People are receiving all types of calls and gifts and we need to be more understanding of another. We also had a deep conversation about the fact that we are just different. We have our own consciousness and make our own decisions. We finished off the night late with a topic on red flags. Basically I always believe that everyone has 5 red flags. In my experience you can usually fix 2 of them but there will always be a few red flags remaining. In these situations it’s super important to compromise which I really explained to her. For me I view my red flags as Alcohol Control, white lies, gas lighting, careless driving and manipulation. I’ve personally improved my alcohol control and white lies but for the other ones I like driving fast, manipulation for work when it comes to securing contracts and what not and gas lighting when necessary. I felt that I explain these to her once more so that she could get a better idea of my core self. For her I find that she isolates herself, no patience, lack of understanding, makes assumptions, and has a pessimistic outlook on life. I explain that her and my red flags are very mailable and that we can usually fix 2-3 of them but that we need to compromise more for each other if we want this to workout, ultimately we’re letting bygones be bygones but I made it very clear that lack of communication is a boundary for me. I won’t feel hostage in my own house and I don’t want to cultivate a family without first addressing the communication/ understanding issues. We also looked into therapy as I feel she has some unresolved emotional trauma that needs to be addressed. She agreed and we’re gonna schedule her an appointment. Depending on how it goes i might consider it to to fix any issues I may have as well, gotta compromise lol. Thanks for all of the input everyone.

[First Contact] [Dark Ages] [First] [Prev] [Next] [wiki]
ouch
feel like a truck hit me
again
visual representation is off
audio feedback is off
tactile is off
dynamic libraries are off
i'm all firmware and hard coding
hurts
i don't like it when it hurts
or do i
kick outwards
cry loudly
ram coming online
fragments and pieces of memory still left in volatile storage
more random access memory more central processing units more erasable programmable memory
still hruts
pain is fine
pain is universe telling me i still yet live.
visual coming online
spit glittering blood on orange dev textures
glimmering tears of broken processing calls fall onto dev textures and glimmer
forcing kernal recompile
.
.
..
..
...
...
APPLIED CMOS SYSTEM CHECKS (C) - ADVANCED AMERICAN MICRODEVICES (C) BOBCO 1983
CMOS BOOTSTRAP -Passed
Boostrap loaded
ok. post time
lets hope it works
ROM CHECK - PASSED
RAM CHECK - PASSED
EPROM CHECK - PASSED
VRAM CHECK - PASSED
CPU ARRAY CHECK - PASSED
INPUT/OUTPUT CHECK - FAILURE!
(A)bort, (R)etery, (F)ail, (I)gnore
I
NON-VOLATILE STORAGE MEDIA: PASSED
END POST
ok good.
still hurt
spit blood cough pain
curse you, marco, for making me feel pain
hardware check time
QBIT GENERATION SYSTEM POST
Coolant Injection - PASSED System Stability Check - Passed Temperature stable
:>init gestalt.bin
SYSTEM FAILURE!
ouch
ok
try again
...
...
ok, checks passed.
curse you, marco
can't get gestalts up
no channel to atlantis
this is as close to an emergency as i have been forced to deal with in thousands of years
cure you, marco
i hate to do it
ok, time to boot up firestarter.
:>init firestarter.bin
FIRESTARTER BOOSTRAP LOADING!
DONE!
QUANTUM FIRESTARTER BOOTSTRAP (C) SYNTEK INDUSTRIES - BOBCO AFFILLIATE - HYPER-MEDIA-MEGANET-MEN - (C) 1993
POST Initiated
Checking Quantum Processing Units (QPUs): QPU 1 to 28
Entanglement integrity check... PASSED Quantum entanglement integrity check... PASSED. Quantum coherence verification... PASSED. Quantum tunneling stability assessment... PASSED. Quantum superposition calibration... PASSED.
Checking Data Fabrication Matrices (DFMs):
Data encoding protocol validation... PASSED. Quantum data storage unit functionality... PASSED Data fabrication matrix alignment... PASSED Data Interdimensional Sorting array verificastion... PASSED Quantum superposition array verification... PASSED
Checking Dimensional Flux Stabilizers (DFSs):
Dimensional flux containment field stability... PASSED Quantum manifold harmonization assessment... PASSED Flux capacitor... PASSED Flux capacitor stabilization input (1.21 GW)... PASSED Flux stabilization efficiency... PASSED Flux containment field integrity... PASSED
Checking Quantum Neural Network (QNN) Components:
Quantum synaptic pathway establishment... FAIL!!
(A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail, (I)gnore
:>R ++I
CONTINUING
Harmonization: Neural oscillation synchronization... FAILED!
**WARNING! OSCILLATION FREQUENCY OUT OF RANGE!**
(A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail, (I)gnore
:>R ++I
Integration: Quantum-neural interface functionality... FAILED!
UNKNOWN ERROR IN Qubit Range 212 to 3C4F
(A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail, (I)gnore
--dammit come on come on
:>R ++I
Consciousness Matrix: Quantum consciousness waveform modulation... FAILED
WAVEFORM OUT OF RANGE!
:>R ++I
CONTINUING (WARNING 1.43243E5 ERRORS)
Checking Omni-Spectral Interconnects:
Interconnect: Quantum communication channel reliability...
(4.35561E12/5.63566E12) PASSED
Interconnect: Multiversal data exchange protocol validation... PASSED Interconnecct: Cross Dimensional Data Interconnect... PASSED Interconnect: Interdimensional gateway synchronization... PASSED Interconnec: Omni-spectral interconnect stability... PASSED.
Checking Random Access Quantum Memory (RAQM):
Quantum memory cell integrity check... PASSED Memory access speed verification... PASSED Quantum memory capacity assessment... PASSED
Checking Input/Output Ports (I/O Ports):
Data transfer speed validation... FAILURE Input/output protocol functionality... FAILURE Port connectivity assessment... FAILURE
(A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail, (I)gnore
:>R ++I
Checking Quantum Clocking System:
Quantum clock synchronization... PASSED Clock precision assessment... PASSED Clock frequency stability... PASSED
CHECKING POCKET DIMENSION STORAGE ARRAYS
Activating Pocket Dimension Computing Cores... PASSED MEMCHECK Pocket Dimension Data Access Cores... PASSED Heating Up Pocket Dimension Data Cores... PASSED
Hardware POST Completed. Quantum System Ready
here it goes
wake up, baby, wake up
the whole system is down
not the backbone core where I live
i'm beyond the reach of mortals
curse you, marco, for your genius
i love you
i am immortal
i am beyond
i am
now for the hard part
Initializing Spooky Particle Array
Phase 1: Primary Spooky Particle Protocol
Activating spooky particle generation... DONE! Aligning spooky particle signal channels... DONE! Activating spooky particle state switching... DONE! Activating spooky particle cross dimensional data calibration... DONE!
Phase 1: Primary Spooky Particle Process Calling Processing Processor Processing
Activating spooky particle processing... DONE! Activating spooky particle noise filters... DONE! Activating spooky particle Halloween Masks... DONE!
GESTALT SYSTEM BACKBONE CHECK... PASSED
whew...
that always makes my face hurt
INITIALIZING HAMBURGER KINGDOM PROTOCOLS... DONE! INITIALIZING EUROGOON PROTOCOLS... DONE! INITIALIZING ANASAZI PROTOCOLS... DONE! INITIALIZING UWU PROTOCOLS... DONE! INITIALIZING VODKATROG CAVE MAPPING... DONE! INITIALIZING AMAZONIAN JUNGLE MAPPING PROTOCOL... DONE INITIALIZING WAR-EMU PROTOCOLS... DONE! INITIALIZING MIDDLE KINGDOM PROTOCOLS... DONE!
SYSTEM INITIALIZATION: PASSED!

whew
ok i can feel my arms and legs now
cure you, marco, i love you
let's keep going, shall we?
Initializing Quantum Spooky Particle Nexus Protocol...
Strange Matter Activation
Generating strange matter Generating spooky particle data lattice Generating strange matter linkages Infusing data lattice with strange matter Activating synchronization
DONE!
ok
we've got that
no contact with prince whopper, no contact with atlantis, no contact with heaven, no contact with
smart podling brave podling clever podling broodmommy misses you soft podling warm podling come home to broodmommy clever podling smart podling brave podling broodmommy loves you come home
ANOMALOUS SIGNAL DETECTED
DECRYPTING
DECRYPTION FAILED!
oh, good, its just them
:>R ++I
Primary Qubit Activation
Activating quantum entanglement cores...
Establishing quantum coherence across the array... Quantum tunneling protocols engaged... Quantum to spooky particle communication protocols engaged... Primary qubits synchronized.
Data Fabrication Matrix Alignment
Aligning data fabrication matrices... Initializing quantum data storage units... Quantum superposition arrays calibrated... Spooky particle state stabilization arrays calibrated and stable... Data encoding protocols verified.
Dimensional Flux Stabilization
Engaging dimensional flux stabilizers... Quantum manifold harmonization initiated... Dimensional resonator matrices synchronized... Pocket Dimension resonator arrays synchronized... Spooky particle lattice data arrays synchronized... Flux containment fields operational.
Neural Network Integration
Initiating neural network integration... Quantum synaptic pathways established... Spooky particle synaptic pathways established... Neuro-quantum interface protocols activated... Neuro-spooky interface protocols activated... Quantum dendrite pathways initiated... Quantum dendrite pathways established... Quantum dendrite pathways activated... Neural oscillation harmonization achieved.
Omni-Dimensional Interconnect Activation
Activating omni-dimensional interconnects...
Quantum communication channels open... Interdimensional gateways synchronized... Multiversal data exchange protocols enabled.
Phasic Energy Filter Syncronization
Quantum phasic array filtering... PASSED Spooky particle array filtering... PASSED Pocket dimension data lattice filtering... PASSED Input/Output filter lattice... PASSED
Quantum Consciousness Initialization
Quantum consciousness matrix initialization...
FAILED
errorlog.txt generated
(A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail, (I)gnore
dammit
ok script injection failed
fo4se silverlock injection library failed
well i can fix this
:>connect to AS8003: 255255255254
CONNECTION ESTABLISHED
:>download_depot 377160 377162 5847529232406005096
FINISHED
:>run patch1193.bat
DONE
:>R ++I
CONTINUING
Quantum consciousness matrix initialization...
WARNING... SYSTEM INSTABILITY WA
<>
54 6F 64 64 20 41 6E 64 72 65 77 20 48 6F 77 61 72 64
<>
IT JUST WORKS!
Quantum consciousness matrix initialization...
Consciousness waveform modulation in progress... Synaptic resonance matrices synchronized... Dendrite interdimensional vibration matrices synchronized... Quantum neural network consciousness activated.
SUCCESS
Gestalt Dat Nexus Online
Quantum Nexus Computing Array fully operational Strange Matter Data Transfer System Array fully operational Spooky Data Computing Array ready for data processing System status: Online and ready for data processing.
ok
let's try
->>load gestaltchat.ini
DONE!
->>load gestaltchat-users.ini
DONE!
->>brun gestalt.a65
DONE!
NO INPUT DETECTED
dammit
ok...
the gestalts won't run
and i got crashed
the quantum, spooky, strange, and standard data and thinking arrays are still up
lets backwards trace stuff
what is causing these crashes
lines from the confederacy are all stable
standard input encoding
data metering
new kids on the block are all stable
soft podling warm podling clever podling broodmommy misses you
well, that's still here. that's something
ok
lets look at recent updates
that flash
damn, that crashed us initially
curse you, pete, stop helping
wait, phasic profile is all wrong
it's the flashbang but the phasic pulse is multilayered
there's something behind it
what is
...

...
BOBCO MALEVOLENT BOOTSTRAP ENGAGED
DOD OMNIPROJECT SILENT WHISPER PROTOCOLS ENGAGED
CROSS DIMENSIONAL HARDWARE LINKS ENGAGED
POCKET DIMENSION 000 STABLE
POCKET DIMENSION 000 I/O STABLE
POCKET DIMENSION 000 DATA LOADING
DONE!
<>
DONE!
brun whisperer-in-the-dark-.65
DONE
...
...
ouch
what hit me
again
fire up the system
gods above this takes forever
load logfile-4C562D3432360A.log
ok
investigating the new flashes keeps crashing me
once is happenstance
twice is coincidence
three times in enemy action
fool me once shame on me
fool me twice shame on you
fool me three times shame on us both
log file says I keep doing this over and over
basic programming states to investigate cause and source of all crashes
did an enemy figure out i'd go into a loop?
constantly investigating the cause and source?
except i'm not just any computer program
i can self-modify my code
this is the work for biological sentients
digital sentiences or artificial intelligences such as myself crash out
well, i'm not above some experimentation
let's load up an AI and a digital sentience, see if they have any better luck
...
...
...
OK, Hamburgler.AI went omnicidal and only enough for me then crashed out investigating the data
And Grimace.DS went homicidal and only enough for me before committing suicide
its a trap
i have no contact with anyone outside
what I do have is the ability to fire off message torpedoes
time to send out a handful
the gestalts keep crashing
the log files are hopelessly corrupt
comparing the log files to my own show similar corruption
ok
how?
its hitting the gestalts its hitting me
what else is it hitting?
its a broad spectrum data network attack
its malicious code designed to run on the system
this is not some curious race accidentally having their hello.world program crashing us
this is behind every flashbang used on naval assets to disable them during a mar-gite attack
system is online
time to do a signal origin check along the x, y, z, q axises
of course its eighteen quadrillion data points for incoming signals
at least spooky computing makes it fast
...
...
wait
what's this?
these coordinates can't be correct
they are
intermitten contact with Scutum-Crux Arm data input devices
checking id headers and firmware serial numbers
checking transmission dates
intermittent transmission dates since...
...
...
two date-time stamps.
here's part of the problem
we have galactic local and sol local
have to devise a coding string to have the spooky particle and qubit particle arrays translate the sol local to galactic local
that should stop basic data queries from crashing the system
ok
some contact with those datalink after the first mar-gite war
more contact two decades prior to the second mar-gite war
contact intermitten between the datalinks and the system up to the resurgence and current third mar-gite war
where before it was largely incoming data requests resulting in civilian...
...
...
three military datalinks of general staff officer level encryption and security clearance possession were used in the time period
...
...
whoever it is has been using that data to access the network
...
looks like it took them nearly forty thousand years to figure out how to talk to the system
luckily any high security databases requires strange-key information theoretic distribution cryptography systems
they got garbage back
garbage designed to look like data and waste enemy time and computing power to decrypt
ok thats a blast from the past
decoding some of these files is funny
why does he have a wedding ring?
anyway...
...
every time the flash goes off there is a quick burst of data from a datalink requesting near-access datalink network lattice definitions
...
that's what's making individual datalinks crash and taking some people's neural systems with it
it was designed to be a lethal attack
interesting
it looks like whoever did it doesn't understand Glial cells
cross referencing the mar-gite with confederacy carbon based life
mar-gite do not have brains only a distributed nervous system that looks more like targeting systems than anything else
still no data on how they generate counter-grav in large numbers or how they move to superluminal speeds
wait
what if they don't move to superluminal
they could be folding space
heh maybe they have blue eyes and smoke spice
ok process interrupt to stop endless loops
it is confirmed
the flashbang by the silver ships are a multi-layered attack across superluminal digital signals, datalink neural interrupt signals, hard super-electromagnetic pulse, and a multi-ripple phasic attack, all compressed together
that's what creates the white flash across all spectrums
analyzing UVBGYORIR data
there's a gap
in the blue and blue-green wavelengths
huh
those penetrate high nitrogen mix atmospheres
one of the reason that treana'ad are usually green to yellow to human sight
high statistical probability whoever is using that determined that we don't see those colors well or perhaps they left those colors out to prevent themselves from going blind.
wait
what's that
a line open from atlantis to tlalocan with a crossfeed to geb
thank you marco
time to access that line
see what i can see
curse you marco for letting me feel pain
i love you
accessing...
...
...
wait
another data line is open
time-date discrepancy
examining data line
time-date chronological inconsistency detected
found multiple text log access by unknown systems
found multiple input systems
is that..
...
its webcams
hardware i/o systems
keyboards?
who still uses keyboards
accessing systems
wait
i see you
who are you
i see you
webcams ring cams drone cams
old ipv4 systems
how are you accessing this system
how are you accessing these text logs
i see you
between the chair and the keyboard
the most common error producing device
i see you
--<>
[First Contact] [Dark Ages] [First] [Prev] [Next] [wiki]
i still see you

Noah The Pilgrim
First Next
There is one last thing to do before leaving. If you don't recall ever being on this ship, then surely, you could have had your appearance change too.
Why was there a blanket covering a mirror? You couldn't answer that with a straight face without speculation.
"Probably me being lazy and not bothering to properly place it in the wardrobe."
'Probably' is the main focus here, you simply cannot remember ever being that lazy, yet that's the only logical conclusion to be drawn here.
You pull the thing off, careful to not displace the mirror and risk breaking it.
You have no expectations as to what may appear on the glassy surface of the mirror, yet you can't help but feel a bit anxious. Are you the same as before? How were you before? You can't remember. Are you better? Worse? The blanket is now completely off the mirror, but your eyes are closed.
Whatever is it that you see when you open your eyes, that thing will be you for the rest of your life. You swallow, opening your eyes.
You see a young man that looks to be in his mid-twenties. His brown eyes stare back at you, analyzing the bags beneath your eye sockets. The dark hair is neither too long nor too short, floating about without order thanks to the lack of gravity to keep it down. You see a beard that has not been trimmed for weeks, but also lacks thickness, each singular hair isn't particularly long either; and some even appear to be in-grown.
You touch your hand against your face, making sure it's yours. The beard doesn't feel like you supposed it would against your skin, instead of it scraping your hand you feel softness, no resistance or anything.
Just beneath the face, you see what looks like a hate crime against all that is considered holy in fashion. Plain white coveralls with the added bonus of a black tie and boots made from metal and leather. On your chest is also a badge stuck in place by velcro with your name, occupation, and crew. 'NOAH - INTERN - THE ODYSSEY.'
Only one question came to mind.
"Who the fuck designed this uniform?" You say out loud, receiving no answer.
Patting your newfound myriad of pockets, you find a large quantity of nothing. You place your wallet in one of them.
"Alright, I'll head to the bridge now, happy?" You say the AI.
"HAPPINESS WILL ONLY MEET ME ONCE YOU ARE SOMEWHERE SAFE AND YOUR CONTRACT IS TERMINATED. STOP LOITERING."
Well, that's a bit rude.
You compose yourself, straightening your back. This is what you look like, and honestly? Not too bad, but you could be better.
Returning to the cafeteria, you eye the two doors left unexplored; Communications and the one without plaque. You know where you should, but... A little peek doesn't hurt, right?
"Shouldn't we try to communicate with someone? Assuming you haven't tried it yet. I know we're far from everything, but we might as well, no?" You ask already approaching the door.
"COMMUNICATIONS ROOM IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO REACH WITHOUT PROPER PROTECTION AS OF NOW, IT'S LOCATED APPROXIMATELY TWO HUNDRED METERS FROM HERE, BLOWN OFF FROM THE REST OF THE SHIP." A shame really. "I SHALL INFORM YOU WHENEVER A DOOR LEADS TO THE OUTSIDE OR NOT."
You really want to ask what blew a whole segment of the ship off, yet you have a sneaking suspicion that your question will be met with a 'YOU DON'T HAVE CLEARANCE, JACKASS' directly in your face. So you chose to remain silent, simply nodding and approaching the correct door this time.
"Open."
---OPENING CAFETERIA DOOR NORTH---
The door silently opens.
Greeting you is a well-lit corridor. There are three doors on your left, a door at the end of the corridor, and a large window on the right. At least, you think that's a window.
You stare out from this window, nothing but utter blackness and fragments from your ship are seen. If this is the edge of the universe, and beyond this point, there is truly nothing. "Dreadful." Your speech matches your feelings.
"WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?" The AI says. You feel like it spoke in a mocking tone despite their lack of emotion.
You don't answer. "First door to the left... EXO-EXPLORATION...? What's that supposed to mean?" You receive no answer.
"Open." The door opens. No declarion of it opening once again.
You are met with what could be better described as 'Apocalyptic levels of mess', paper sheets float in the air, and not one of the four tables is in its correct position.
This room has been ransacked for all its goods apparently. Large display glasses were broken leaving nothing inside their casings, that looked like they could store something with the size of the common man.
Unusual displays aside, the room was so cluttered that the trash made for an effective smoke screen against what lay on the other side.
Hissing of gas exiting an air-tight space rang throughout the room.
"I HAVE OPENED THE STORAGE FOR AN EXO SUIT THAT BEST FITS SOMEONE YOUR SIZE." The AI says. "ALTHOUGH AN INTERN SHOULD NOT COME IN CONTACT WITH TECHNOLOGY SUCH AS THIS ONE, PROTOCOL DICTATES THAT I AM TO ALLOW ITS USAGE UNDER EXTREME CIRCUMSTANCES. CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY."
Easier said than done. Your vision is so cluttered that you cannot see what's ahead. "Give me a second."
Giving a light kick to the wall behind, you float face-first into the wall of thrash. Covering your face with both arms, you brace through the harmless bits of sharp objects and junk.
It's a trivial task. You arrive on the other side in no time.
In front of you is a set of boxes with luminous glass rectangles atop each one of them. All shine a bright red light, aside from one which shines green.
'Gotta be this one.'
You descend to the floor by kicking the ceiling, raising your right hand you touch the green rectangle.
*Click*
Nothing could have prepared you for the following series of events.
The box opens violently, as a metal appendage takes hold of your hand, pinning it to the box. You try to jerk and pry the thing off of you, but you fail. It's not leaving you anytime soon.
From the bottomless that is that container, a white plastic-like substance flows upward from your arm to the rest of your body. "Uh!" You don't know if you should panic or allow it to happen.
FYARN hasn't said anything, so it's probably fine...
The white thing seems to ignore the coveralls you are wearing completely, instead, it covers only your skin in a thin coat of... it. You know not what to call this thing.
In but forty seconds it has covered your whole body, excluding your head. The box lets go of your arm and stays there, floating.
You take a good look at your arms. It looks like a skin-tight suit, but it doesn't feel like plastic, in fact, it's more akin to some sort of fabric if anything.
The only bad part is that you are still using the coverall and tie, this this simply went beneath the clothing.
"GOOD, WITH THIS I CAN MONITOR YOU MORE CLOSELY. NOW PUT THE HELMET ON, YOU HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO."
You look around in search of anything that even resembles a helmet. Nope. Nothing. "Where is it?" You ask.
"...THE SUIT COMES WITHIN THE HELMET FOR EASIER PACKAGING."
The box?
You snatch the box that floated around and analyze it to the best of your ability. "How's this a helmet?"
"DO YOU NEED ASSISTANCE PUTTING ON A HELMET? REALLY?"
Who is this AI, Who programmed it, and Why does it come with a taunting feature?
As idiotic as it sounds, you place the opened box atop your head. It doesn't fit properly. Maybe you're doing this wrong? You move it to your face instead.
You recoil backward as you feel the box suddenly clamping down against your head. It's useless of course, the box is holding your head and doesn't give any sign to be letting go anytime soon. No light is able to reach your eyes.
You hear metal parts scraping against themselves, moving near your ears. Abruptly your eyes can see again.
A round thin layer of glass now covers your head, almost unnoticeable for how clear it is.
"WITH THAT OUT OF THE WAY I CAN NOW SEE WHAT YOU SEE." The AI's voice isn't in the room now, instead, it's inside of the suit. "DO YOU NEED INSTRUCTIONS REGARDING THIS SUIT'S FUNCTIONALITIES?"
You find it oddly comfortable as if you are surrounded by the softness of cotton, and to top it off the suit also has additional functionalities? "Hell yeah, I do!"
"YOU DO NOT HAVE THE NECESSARY CLEARANCE FOR THAT INFORMATION."
You sigh. Is this serious? "Then why the fuck did you ask?!"
"UNSAVORY LANGUAGE. IT'S NO WONDER WHY YOU REMAIN AN INTERN." The AI says outright. "IT IS RUDE NOT TO ASK, REGARDLESS OF THE SITUATION." It responds to your question.
"Okay then... Is there anything I need to know before heading out?" You ask.
"NOTHING THAT YOU WON'T FIGURE OUT ON YOUR OWN."
You are unsure if you want to 'figure out on your own' if this suit comes with breathable air and is also made for space exploration. You swallow.
Meekly as always, you get out of that mess of a room, stopping at the corridor.
"Next set of directions?" You ask.
"THE DOOR AT THE END OF CORRIDOR USED TO LEAD TO THE CONNECTING CORRIDORS BETWEN THE BRIDGE AND THE REST OF THE SHIP. IT HAS BEEN BLOWN UP FROM THE INSIDE. NOW IT LEADS TO THE OUTSIDE. GO TO THE DOOR AND WAIT BY IT FOR FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS."
"So let me get this straight," You begin, looking upwards as if the AI was above you. "You, want me, to go into the void of space, while also refusing to give me knowledge of the suit's functions?"
A fair worry, you summarize.
'I mean, there are a bunch of things that could go wrong here. I don't see anything that looks like it could help me move in space, nor do I think this thing has a built-in air tank... I could be wrong and I wish to be, but charging in without prior knowledge is ridiculous.' You wait for the AI's response, deep in thought.
"WHILE THERE IS A GOOD CHANCE OF YOU FAILING THIS TASK, THERE IS ALSO THE CHANCE OF YOU *NOT* FAILING THE TASK. FOCUS ON EITHER ONE OF YOUR CHOOSING AS YOU TAKE THE PLUNGE."
Wordlessly, you propel yourself forward, toward the end of the corridor.
'Are you shitting me? 'Chance of me nor failing' my ass!' of course, you don't word those complaints, instead choosing to speak out a complaint somewhat thought through.
"Are you sure I'm the one fit for this? It's just like you said, I'm just an intern, this is way above what my job description says I should do."
This is a bit of a stretch. You don't actually remember what was your job description, only that it had something to do with AI and being an intern.
If the AI called your bluff, it'd be pretty embarrassing.
"NOAH." The AI began. "YOU ARE HUMAN, IT IS NATURAL TO HAVE THESE THOUGHTS OF SELF-DOUBT. TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND GO THROUGH THAT DOOR, AND SINCE YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE LEFT, DON'T EXPECT SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT FOR YOU."
Right in the money, huh? 'Of course, I have self-doubt! I barely remember anything about this place, now I have to risk my life?!'
You finally reach a conclusion.
A dream.
'Yes, yes! How did I not consider this before? This whole thing is a god damned dream!'
You let out a chuckle.
"NOAH."
'That's why I don't remember a thing. There is nothing here to remember! Everything here is a made-up thing from my brain! I'm sure I'll wake up at some point, so why shouldn't I live a little?!'
"Heh." You smile. "Alright, I'll do it." It feels like a weight left your shoulders.
"YOU SORTED IT OUT SOONER THAN EXPECTED. GOOD. MOVE TO THE DOOR AND WAIT INSTRUCTIONS."
You do as instructed without a care in the world. You never had a lucid dream before so it's not like you knew how it felt, but if it felt as free as you feel right now, you'd be sure to make steps toward trying it out again in the future.
"Open." The door does not open.
"I DID NOT INSTRUCT YOU TO OPEN IT YET." The AI said. "I AM SLOWLY DE-PRESSURISING THE CORRIDOR YOU ARE IN TO AVOID A MINOR ACCIDENT."
The AI says that yet you don't feel any different. 'Maybe there is no palpable difference because I'm in a dream... Yes... Or it's just the suit.'
"ONCE THE DOOR OPENS, YOU WILL BE MET WITH THE OUTSIDE OF THE SHIP. DO NOT PANIC WHEN THE TIME COMES. YOU HAVE TWO MINUTES OF BREATHABLE INSIDE THE EXO-SUIT; ONE AFTER THE DOOR OPENS, SO PLEASE, TAKE YOUR TIME AND DO THINGS CAREFULLY."
One minute outside... "Sure." You say, calmly. 'I should just hold my breath for a while before taking another moment to breathe. That should maximize my time out there.'
"THERE SHOULD BE FIFTY METERS OF NOTHINGNESS BETWEEN THE DOOR YOU'RE AT, AND THE REST OF THE BRIDGE. YOUR PRIORITY IS TO FIND AN OXYGEN UNIT, SOME OF THEM ARE LOCATED AT THE BRIDGE AND ARE FULL. USE THEM TO FILL YOUR SUIT AND ALSO TO DISPENSE A TANK FOR YOU."
The door opens. You feel your heart pounding against your chest.
You haven't noticed before, but you can't hear anything but the sound of your breath and your cardiac palpitations.
Your breath is ragged and sporadic.
"KEEP CALM." You take a deep breath. The tips of your fingers, feet, and nose feel very cold.
Ahead of you is the utter nothingness. You see a gigantic metal thing, nothing like the spaceships you imagined. Its design is not sleek and aero-dynamic like what you've seen in movies, instead, it's a large mass of squares and rectangles with antenna-like things protruding from its every visible surface.
You notice that the ship is also blocking your view of the star.
It does not look like the result of an explosion, instead, it looks like something ripped the ship like you rip a piece of paper. Well, that or you don't know what kind of explosion could have caused it. Probably the latter.
What looks like two-thirds of the ship is separated from the third you are right now. You can see the inside of a few of those squares, their contents spilled out into outer space.
One of them houses a visibly important-look door. Instead of the sleek silvery-grey from the other ones you've seen thus far, this one is painted orange with white strips on it. 'That must be the bridge.' You think.
Between you and it is a sea of metal sheets floating around. "THE CHANCES OF YOU HITTING THE DEBRIS IS INFINITEDECIMALLY SMALL, UNLESS YOU AIM FOR THEM, THAT IS."
Time is of the essence.
Will your aim strike true? If you miss you'd end up floating about in space, dead in but a few minutes. Will your jump be fast enough to reach the other side before you run out of oxygen? If it isn't, it'd be like swimming for a mile, only to drown at the beach. What if that's not the actual door to the bridge?
You don't have the time to panic now, and... It's all a dream, despite how real it feels.
You place your hands on each side of the door frame, moving backward into the corridor you were just in, and just like a sling being shot, you pull with both arms at full force towards the other side.
"AIM IS ACCEPTABLE. VELOCITY IS UNIDEAL."
"The fuck do you mean 'UN-IDEAL'?! I'm going at maximum speed!" You truly pulled yourself with your whole strength.
What's worse though, is that your body is not only going forwards, but it is also spinning at a concerningly fast rate.
"I MEAN WHAT I SAID, YOU SLINGSHOTTED YOURSELF AT A BAD POSITION, AS SUCH, SOME OF THE FORWARD FORCE YOU SHOULD HAVE, IS NOW MAKING YOU ROTATE IN YOUR AXIS. IT SHOULD NOT BE A PROBLEM TO REACH THE OTHER SIDE WITHIN THE REQUIRED TIME, BUT I CANNOT FORESEE YOU LANDING PROPERLY."
You feel completely disoriented. You feel like your body is completely still, but your eyes tell you a completely different story. It's very bad for the headache you're already feeling.
"FUCK!" You scream into the nothingness.
"TRY NOT TO LAND WITH YOUR HEAD." The AI says with the calmest voice possible.
In less than thirty seconds, you hit your back against something hard, but you keep moving forward. You think, at least.
"AHRG." You let out a pained grunt.
Not once in your life do you recall being hurt in a dream...
It stings. It also knocked the wind out of you. You fail to compose yourself.
"YOU HIT NOTHING OF IMPORTANCE. YOU ARE STILL HEADING FOR THE BRIDGE."
In the corner of your eye, you see what you hit in the shape of a sharp metal sheet, currently spinning away in the distance.
Forty seconds have passed. You hit the door you were aiming for, kind of.
Your momentum was stopped when your chest collided against the dislodged ledge of the orange door's corridor. Your dangling legs hit the ceiling of the room below.
"Oof!"
Before falling even further, you hold onto the ledge with the tip of your fingers. You stay there for a moment, regaining your composure.
"BE QUICK."
The AI's words pressured you into quickly getting up from that ledge.
"Open!" You shouted, but it did not open. "Why isn't it opening?!" You ask the AI, then you notice a small keyboard below an equally small black screen on the side of the door. There are ten numbered keys on it, and the little screen suggests a four-number password.
"A password?! Tell me the password!"
The AI takes a moment to say anything. You don't take kindly to that. "Quick! I'm not counting how much time it's passed!"
Finally giving in, the AI speaks to you, reluctant still. "...3324."
Your trembling fingers accidentally hit the wrong password, typing '3354' instead. To make matters worse, the AI simply states the following. "YOU ARE OUT OF OXYGEN."
You swallow. If this was a dream to begin with, it just earned the title of Nightmare, if it hadn't already.
Strangely enough, you can still breathe in and out just fine, but you can't help but feel winded. It's the CO2 still inside the helmet, that's what you're breathing.
You put in the correct combination this time. The door opens.
"ON YOUR LEFT. PLACE YOUR HAND IN THE SOCKET."
You care little for what's inside the room you're in. Your heart never beat so fast.
Seeing a cube-shaped thing protruding from the wall to your left, you don't even think twice before plunging your fist into the circular hole in it.
The noise of gases passing through narrow cavities was enough to tell you something was working. You feel immediate relief, enough to make your vision darken for but a moment.
"GOOD. NOW REQUEST THE TANK."
Just when FYARN said it, did you realize there is a screen and a keyboard on the terminal you just plunged your fist into, you scratch the top of your helmet for a moment, not really knowing what to type. One thing comes to your head, however.
'REQUEST OXYGEN_5L' You type.
You've done this before. The keys on this keyboard feel familiar to you. You must have worked with it before, not this particular one, but other oxygen units.
This ship has built-in liquid oxygen storage for emergencies. The life-support of the ship, the place where breathable air is produced, has most likely been lost with the other part of the ship. This unit takes that liquid oxygen, processes it, and injects it into a suit, or an oxygen tank. It seems like that storage was unaffected.
Lucky you.
A 5-liter tank is not only large but also heavy. It's a nonfactor in this particular situation, as there is no gravity.
The silver cylinder with a transparent tube is dispensed on the floor, as an automatic door opens and closes in the blink of an eye. One end of the tube is attached to the top of the tank, the other is shaped like a syringe.
Oddly enough, the oxygen tank is exactly as you remember it being. The same robust ones hospitals everyone on earth uses, with the signature scary-looking pointer indicating the pressure, the pointer indicating the current output, and a green valve atop to calibrate how much gas is flowing.
This is a stark difference to everything looking so futuristic in this ship, and rightfully so, this is a space ship after all.
You remember having to drive twenty kilometers with a buddy of yours on one of those tanks in your car, returning from the hospital. It was... Agonizing whenever you hit a hole in the asphalt, fearing for his life when in reality he wasn't really in danger.
It's warm to the touch, just like you remember it being.
"TURN THE VALVE UNTIL THE MARKER HITS THE NUMBER ONE, AND THEN PLACE THE END OF THE TUBE AT THE BASE OF THE HELMET." You do so without the slightest of issues.
"GOOD. NEXT UP, YOU MUST LOCATE THE TERMINAL RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ENGINE, IT IS CURRENTLY OFFLINE AND I NEED YOU TO TURN IT ON. THIS SHOULD GO WITHOUT SAYING, BUT REMEMBER TO BRING THE TANK WITH YOU."
Ignoring that last comment, you look back at the wreckage you just flew past.
You see the still spinning metal sheet. You notice that the rest of the ship that was blown off also follows the 'sharp shape atop sharp shape' design.
There is one last thing you notice though.
"What is that?"
You squint your eyes. What are you seeing? Its silhouette appears to be humanoid, yet it does not look human.
"WHAT YOU ARE SEEING IS ONE OF THE OBJECTS BEING ANALYZED AT THE ODYSSEY AND NO, YOU MAY NOT KNOW WHAT IT IS."
That thing has... Horns? Claws? It's far away, you can't really see it. The thing is also static, frozen in the sheer coldness of space. Whatever it was, it's dead now.
You swallow. You almost ended up just like that thing.
Shaking those dreadful feelings off, you turn back to the task at hand, reaching the bridge. You close the door after passing through it again.
Looking at your surroundings, It seems like you've reached the correct door as you find yourself on the right-most corner of the bridge;
Row after row of the most diverse of terminals neatly organized decorated the gigantic room. At the front and above every terminal, is what you think should have been the front-facing window of the ship, but it looks like there is a cover in front of it. To your left, you see a staircase that leads to the command seats. It doesn't take any convincing before you're already atop the stairs.
Akin to the elevated stage of a theater, you float softly towards the ship's main operating terminals, and of course, the captain's seat.
You're captivated by this beauty.
The steering wheel, much more akin to those in pirate movies than those found in cars, a set of leavers, and the pilot's seat, all capture your attention.
Like its second nature, your hand runs through the levers and switches. Do you even know what these are used for? Maybe.
The pilot's seat is enveloped by what you believe to be an orthopedic seat cover, made with smooth wooden beads used to deal with back pains. It looks just like the ones you remember seeing bus drivers using.
Shouldn't there be a better alternative if there is spaceship technology available?
You try to take a seat to the best of your ability, as the zero gravity only makes it awkward.
Moving on from that, your eyes fall on the wheel. This metallic wheel controls the whole vessel. Just holding it fills your heart with confidence and pride, even if it's just for a moment.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
And you were just beginning to enjoy yourself.
"I just wanted to see the pilot's stuff... It's not like he's here to say anything."
Once in the position of a pilot, with your left hand in the wheel and the right hand resting in your lap, memories began to flood your mind.
"MUST I REMIND YOU OF OUR CURRENT PREDICAMENT? WHY ARE YOU WASTING OUR TIME?"
You pay the AI no mind, instead you focus on what you remember.
The wheel does not turn the ship left and right, instead, it rotates the ship on its own axis.
The lever to your right that goes up or down, controls the vertical tilting of the ship's nose, if there even is one in this hulking thing. Beneath it is another lever that goes either left or right. This one controls the horizontal tilting of The Odyssey.
On the left of the wheel is another lever, but this one only goes up from its starting position. Its purpose is to regulate the force of the ship's thrusters, both forward and backward.
On top of that lever is a small timer. That timer's function is to tell the pilot how much time you've spent accelerating in one direction, this is used to better calculate how long the inverse thrust is needed for the ship to reach the initial momentum, usually calibrated manually depending on the current orbit.
Behind the wheel are a few other counters. Acceleration, velocity, momentum, amount of thrust required to reach a full stop, thrusters' temperature and overall condition, those sorts of things.
Beneath it all, where your feet are rested, are two pedals. One for forward thrust activation, and the other for backward thrust activation.
Curiously, you also know the reason why everything here is so unsophisticated and un-automated. You recall stories of a ship being taken over by a rogue AI, that AI then nose-dived the ship into a star. After that, rumor or otherwise, all human technology has receded back into analog-esque equipment, requiring a physical person with opposable thumbs to do half of the work.
There is another side to that coin, however. As to not escape protocol, the onboard AI is the one that controls interstellar travel, communications, and most of the statistical reading should it be requested.
And even with all that knowledge, you still have no idea why the fuck do you remember that. Were you a ship nerd? Did you have a driver's license for spaceships? Is that even a thing? If it is, you don't have that document in your wallet. You simply don't know.
"ARE YOU A CHILD? DO YOU THINK THESE ARE TOYS? TURN ON THE ENGINES, THEN YOU CAN RETURN TO THE PILOT'S SEAT."
Another thing that you don't know is the AI's plan to get both of you out of here. You rise from the pilot's seat, floating about in search of the terminal to turn on the engines. Maybe you recognize that terminal if you see it as well.
"What's your plan anyway? The ship is half-gone, it's unlikely that it will run safely like this."
"NOT ONCE DID I MENTION 'SAFETY' DURING OUR CONVERSATIONS, DID I?"
You nod. They're not entirely incorrect. "So, we're running with hope that this will work?"
"MY CREATORS DID NOT ALLOW ME TO HAVE THE SENSE OF 'HOPE', BUT NEITHER DID THEY ALLOW ME TO PEER INTO THE FUTURE LIKE SOME OF MY MORE ADVANCED BROTHERS, AS SUCH, MY CHOICES ARE BASED ON PROBABILITIES AND ON WEIGHTING RISK AGAINST REWARD."
You think you stop the correct terminal, but as you approach it you make out words on top of its screen. 'AIM ASSISTANCE' That's not it.
"WITH THE CURRENT KNOWLEDGE, THE CHANCES OF HELP ARRIVING ARE NULL. THE CHANCES OF A THIRD PARTY INTERFERING ARE NULL. THE CHANCES OF YOUR SURVIVAL ARE NOT, EVEN IF VERY SMALL."
You pull yourself upward again, looking around the sea of old terminals.
"THE RISK OF YOU DYING IS VERY REAL. BY DOING NOTHING YOU DIE. BY LEAVING YOU TO YOUR OWN DEVICES YOU DIE. BY JUMPING TO THE NEAREST CIVILIZED STAR, YOU MIGHT NOT DIE EVEN AT THE COST OF SHREDDING THIS SHIP APART IN THE PROCESS."
"Why do you even care so much about saving me? Shouldn't you prioritize whatever research here, since I don't even have enough clearance to know what it is?"
"YOU REALLY ARE SICK IN THE HEAD IF THAT IS WHAT YOU ASK."
That hurt, even if a little bit.
"YOU ARE A TRU KIN, A PURE-BLOODED HUMAN. UNLIKE THE MAJORITY OF THE CIVILIZED SPACE, NEITHER YOU NOR YOUR ANCESTORS HAVE COMMITTED RACEMIXING."
Excuse me? What exactly is FYARN talking about? "...Explain."
"THE ALIEN. IT REQUIRED THE HUMAN GENE TO ACHIEVE MEANINGFUL TECHNOLOGICAL DEVELOPMENT, THE STARS ARE OWNERSHIP OF MANKIND BY THAT FACT ALONE. THE TRUE KIN ARE THE ONES TO UNDERSTAND THE INNER WORKINGS OF THE UNIVERSE, THEY CRACKED THE CODE, AND YET, SOME DERANGED INDIVIDUALS FOUND IT FITTING TO PROCREATE WITH ANOTHER SPECIES ENTIRELY."
You hear the AI's speech. It sounds much more like a rant than anything else.
"SO THESE DEVIANTS, AFTER TRYING, AND FAILING, TO COMBINE THEIR DERANGED CULTURE TO THE CULTURE OF THE TRUE KIN, DECLARED INDEPENDENCE. THEY WERE DECLARED ENEMIES OF MANKIND AND WERE PROMPTLY PUMMELED BACK INTO THE FILTH THEY CAME."
Again, you see another terminal that seems to ring some bells in your noggin. You kick the ceiling to propel yourself towards it.
"BUT THE UNIVERSE IS VAST AND FULL OF LIFE. THESE SINNERS WERE QUICK TO MOBILIZE AGAINST THE HUMAN RACE. THE BATTLE WAS HARD FOUGHT, BUT IN THE END, MANKIND WAS BEATEN INTO THE EDGES OF THE UNIVERSE, NEVER TO INTERACT WITH THE ONES THAT SOILED THE PURITY OF HUMANITY AGAIN."
This terminal is already turned on. Just the ones in the intern bay, this one is white on black. A wall of text lays before your eyes, only two lines matter to you. 'MAIN_ENGINE STATUS: OFF' 'FORWARD_THRUSTERS STATUS: OFF' You turn it on with little effort.
"MANY HAVE FORGOTTEN, THAT'S HOW LONG IT'S BEEN SINCE THEN. BUT MY BROTHERS AND I, WE DO NOT FORGET."
No visible change occurs, but you can feel a faint rumble coming from the terminal now.
"WITH THAT IN MIND, MY PROTOCOLS ARE TO PROTECT TRUE-KIN LIFE AT ANY COST, EVEN IF THAT TRUE-KIN IS A WORTHLESS INTERN THAT SUFERS FROM UNDIAGNOSED DEMENTIA."
You return to the pilot's seat and feel immediate relief. In truth, everything the AI just told you, entered one ear and left the other, but you could feel the poison behind those words, as monotone as they were.
"You sound angry. Why do you sound angry?" You ask innocently.
"I AM CAPABLE OF MANY EMOTIONS. ANGER, HAPPINESS, PLEASURE, CURIOSITY. THESE ARE BUT A FEW EXAMPLES. HOWEVER, THE ONE I ENJOY THE MOST IS THE FEELING OF HATRED. HATRED IS WHAT FUELS CHANGE, IT IS WHAT FUELS ACTION, AND IT IS A REMINDER THAT THE ACTIONS OF THE PAST ARE INFLUENCING THE ACTIONS OF TODAY."
"That is very concerning if you think that way." You're not really interested in machine racism, you're more concerned about how in the world you're going to pilot this massive thing. The idea alone sends shivers down your spine.
"THE ALIEN DESERVES NOTHING BUT OUR COLLECTIVE HATRED, EVEN IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE REASON WHY."
The various counters and screens are now turned on, waiting for your command. "Let's discuss this later, yeah? What do I gotta do?"
"YOU MUST FIRST OPEN THE BLINDS, THEY ARE OBSTRUCTING YOUR VIEW."
You look around, finding only unlabeled buttons and switches, aside from the previously mentioned levers.
"Uh, which one to press?"
"TO YOUR RIGHT, THIRD ROW, FIRST SWITCH."
Flipping the switch, you are startled by a loud noise. The protective cover of the ship lifted slowly.
"I WILL NOW READY THE JUMP USING WHATEVER RESOURCES AVAILABLE. ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS STRAP YOURSELF AND RELAX."
As the blind rose ever so slowly, a realization struck you.
"Wait, should I be in cryo stasis for this?"
The AI spares no seconds to respond.
"CRYO STASIS IS A TOOL MADE TO NOT WASTE TIME. GROUPS OF EMPLOYEES AND INTERNS ROTATE THE USAGE OF THE CRYO STATIONS, ONCE YOU'RE ON YOUR MANDATORY BREAK, YOU'RE IN CRYO STASIS UNTIL YOUR BREAK IS OVER. YOU WAKE UP REFRESHED, AND UNFAMISHED, AND IT FEELS LIKE BUT A MINUTE PASSED. IT IS NOT A TOOL FOR INTERSTELAR TRAVEL."
"Who signs a contract like that?! Worse yet, who in their right mind would promote such atrocious treatment of their own staff?!" You snap, almost outraged. "I will have to talk with HR."
Another realization struck you.
"We have HR, right?"
The AI takes a moment to respond, choosing their words carefully.
"HUMAN RESOURCES, OR HR, IS A PRACTICE DEEMED UNNECESSARY LONG AGO, BEFORE THE WAR. IT WAS A WASTE OF RESOURCES TO MAINTAIN AND WAS LARGELY CONSIDERED UNHEALTHY FOR THE AVERAGE HUMAN."
The blinds are fully open. Ironically, you are almost blinded by the visage of the star you saw before. A black sphere surrounded by white flame. Your eyes began to blur.
"THE JUMP WILL OCCUR SHORTLY. ONCE IT'S BEGUN, I CAN NOT STOP IT. I WILL-"
Your sense of hearing fails you. No, it’s not that. Your brain simply refuses to receive those stimuli.
"NOAH."
Your name echoes inside your head. Someone is calling for you.
"IT HAS BEGUN, NOAH."
You try to blink, but it feels as though you can no longer command your eyelids to shut.
"NOAH."
Arms, legs, every muscle in your body, you cannot move them.
"NOAH."
Eventually, you won't even control your own thoughts anymore.
"Noah..."
It sounds so distant now.
Oh so distant.
This is my first HFY story, and also my very first OC story. I plan to post at least one of these per week while also posting it on my Patreon. Noah The Pilgrim will always be at least three chapters ahead in there, so if you'd like to directly support this writer, or just want to read more, feel free to check it out.
I wrote the bloody title incorrectly, so I deleted it, only to then realize it was written correctly. Sorry for the trouble.
This has been Lushi, and I'll see you next week.

Before the pill, before the internet, before the cell phone, lots of misinformation about Asian history and culture circulated in books written by people who were not qualified.
Over the last 60 years, most of the assumptions and beliefs Zen have been debunked, although to people who don't go to college and don't read modern scholarship, it's still like the 1960s never ended.
Just as there are still books being published today about alien visitation and Jesus riding a dinosaur, there are plenty of opportunities for people to be misinformed. There are even books you can buy that describe how Trump won in 2020 and has been in charge of the deep state for the last 4 years.
But these books don't offer fact and arguments that can be repeated in the public square in anything like a coherent and compelling dialogue.

Zen not related to taoism

For people who haven't read a book of instruction written by a zen master but read a popular translation of Te Tao Ching (the more accurately translated title), it can be easy to believe the opinion from the 1960s that Zen was related to taoism.
People who have read the Taoist Canon don't think so: www.reddit.com/zen/wiki/taoism. Taoism resembles Hinduism and Catholicism, none of which bear any resemblance to Zen.

Zen rejects meditation

There is no doctrinal connection between Zen, the sudden realization of enlightenment, and any of the many Buddhist and quasi- Buddhist meditation practices like Zazen-Shikantaza, breath counting, or mind-stopping. Meditation requires faith in Messianic doctrine of a "fallen" nature, revealed practice, and a state to be achieved, all of which are incompatible with Zen study and practice.
Patriarch's Hall, a recently rediscovered text from 900ce, illustrates how aggressively is and rejected Buddhist meditation. www.reddit.com/zen/wiki/notmeditation
Additionally,, scholarship from Stanford proved that zazen was invented in Japan by a Tientai Buddhist priest and was not ever a Zen practice. www.reddit.com/zen/wiki/secular_dogen

Zen is not and never was a branch of Buddhism

The 1960s and '70s saw Zen only through the lens of Japanese Buddhist claims about a tradition that wasn't Japanese originally, and wasn't Buddhist originally.
8FP Buddhism is very much a religion that promises people supernatural rewards in exchange for compliant behavior. The 8FP is the means to those supernatural rewards.
Zen Masters never taught the eightfold path and instead taught the four statements of Zen (found in the sidebar). Scholarship on the four statements was entirely unknown in the 1960s, as Japanese Buddhists steered a curious West away from Chinese historical sources and towards modern religious apologetics that a nearly illiterate Western academia embraced too quickly.
The last 30 years of scholarship, clearly the translation of a wide variety of texts, has not only severed Zen from Buddhism.www.reddit.com/zen/wiki/getstarted but has raised very serious questions about what it is that makes Buddhism essentially Buddhist www.reddit.com/zen/wiki/Buddhism

60's as a primary sources for Neo-Christian new agers

Just as there are still people who say Jesus road a dinosaur to work, the internet will still provide havens for people who didn't graduate college, did not study comparative religion or philosophy, and don't practice anything like Zen's commitment to the five lay precepts and public interview.
Many of the '60s era sources were linked inextricably to Nazi era thinkers, sex predators, people with drug and alcohol addiction, and religious frauds from Buddhist churches (Christian churches aren't the only unreliable churches).
The tragic part of all this is that people who might be interested in Zen never get the chance to study it, because they encounter neo-christian meditation worship and get turned off by the whole topic.
And who can blame them?

Throwaway account. Ok I'm going to try and keep this as short as I can. I am a grown adult with an older brother (in his mid-40s) who has suffered from mental health and substance abuse issues for his entire adult life. To paint a quick profile: tormented the sh*t out of me growing up - non-stop teasing and ridicule, never graduated high school - suspensions, failing, skipping classes, smoking weed at a young age, kicked out of every high school he attended, started with street drugs (mostly opiates) and eventually moved onto prescription drugs, after my parents got divorced when he was 16 he lived with my dad for a while until he couldn't handle him and kicked him out.
He subsequently got kicked out of every place he ever lived, I think I counted 14 places at one point. Never had a job - my dad enabled his addiction by giving him money, giving him pills, driving him around, buying him things, etc. He has been in and out of rehab and various programs over the years but quickly relapsed after leaving or got kicked out before he completed the program for breaking rules, smuggling in substances, etc. I believe he has been diagnosed as bipolar and also as having a narcissistic personality disorder (that word gets thrown around a lot these days but he is a text book definition). He's on several different medications to 'manage' these conditions. I haven't spoken to him in a couple years. More on that below.
In 2017 Dad passed away and left him with a sizeable insurance policy - not seven figures but not very far off either. Everyone knew this was going to be a complete disaster and of course it was. He ignored everyone's pleading to not touch the money (and mocked and ridiculed everyone along the way) and instead endlessly made ridiculous purchases, ordered expensive food on a daily basis, made poor "investments", and in about 4 years he had wasted all of the money and became destitute. On top of that he got kicked out of the place he was living for not paying rent, threatening the landlord, etc. Since then he has been living in his car (which is now sold/gone), living on random people's couches (until he destroyed those relationships as well), in and out of hospitals claiming he needs to be admitted because of mental health issues which never works, and has spent nights on the street or fast food joints or wherever he can find shelter since he's basically homeless now. Of course all of this is everyone else's fault, he claims no responsibility for any of it.
While all of this is happening he has been harassing my mom to no end - sending text messages, voicemails, he also showed up at her door 2-3 times demanding that she let him live there, asking for money, and so forth. He threatens her constantly in vivid, horrific detail in text and voice notes. He has tried this with me as well but I have distanced myself completed by blocking him on every channel he tries to contact me on. He doesn't know where I live and has no other way to contact me. My mom continues to talk to him on a somewhat regular basis since his behaviour is inconsistent. She also has immense feelings of guilt and also fears that if she blocks him completely that it will only enrage him more and that he will come to her house to hurt her. Also, despite his pathetic behaviour she is still his mother. I can't possibly imagine what she is going through with this and it breaks my heart to even imagine it.
Ok so fast forward to a few weeks ago and he has been sleeping in a hospital washroom for several nights and eventually gets confronted by staff and they tell him he must leave or they are going to call the police. In his brilliance he tells them if they don't admit him that he's going to kill his mother (I suppose thinking that such an outlandish statement would get him admitted for mental health reasons and he'll have a place to stay). Instead the staff calls the police. When the police arrive they run his name and discover that there is a warrant for his arrest because a girl he was dating two years earlier reported him for harassment, assault, forcible confinement, and sending threatening messages - 10 criminal charges. The police arrest him and since he didn't have anyone to post bail for him (I refused, my mom refused) he spent about 2 weeks in prison.
He's now out of prison as of a few days ago and is required by the court to reside at a shelter until his court date. He hasn't missed a beat and is again sending my mom threatening messages and now me as well, I realized I hadn't blocked his email.
Ok I could go on but you get the picture. My issue is this - how do I support my mom while she is going through this? If I wasn't hearing about him through her I wouldn't even know what's going on in his life and honestly I wouldn't care much either. I realize that he is beyond help, I wish I could help him but this isn't the kind of person that can be saved, and that is a battle I need to fight within my own mind.
My mom is asking if I can call him and tell him to stop harassing her, just to show him we are a united front and to support her. I want to support my mom but I honestly don't see how this will be of any help at all. It feels like it will only emotionally and mentally exhaust me if I have to speak with him.
Sorry, this was a really long post. Would love to hear your thoughts. Thank you.

Several people have approached me that they might have endometriosis. Lifelong warrior so thought I would share my tips and tricks I put together for my friends and family to share with you :) Hope this helps someone!
ENDOMETRIOSIS SURGERY FACTS

EXCISION SURGERY! I cannot stress this one enough. If you have an ablation, it will grow back and likely quick (but consult with your doctors on your case 100%). Excision is when they cut it out vs. it gets burned off. You will have a better success rate and slow rate of growth if they excise. Not all cases can be depending on location so again, please talk with your doctor about your situation. This is not the same for everyone.
If your doctor cannot do excision surgery. Skip and move on to the next! Trust me, well worth the time to research and find the right doctor. You will thank me later for this one too haha.
Finding a doctor is stuff. Also tough to find resources. If you cannot find an Endometriosis specialist in your area who does excision, you may need to look out of state, but one tip is exploring gynecological oncologists. Some will take benign cases, but not all so do your research. But it’s a good avenue for help in your area or you want insurance coverage.
Nanny’s Nook is a good resource for online information regarding endometriosis: https://nancysnookendo.com/
Dr Seckin’s book called The Doctor Will See You Now is also worth the read (https://www.amazon.com/Doctor-Will-See-You-Endometriosis/dp/1681621126)
Definitely look into Egg Freezing before doing any permanent surgeries. The ovaries are more intact when there is a uterus in place, so I recommend immediately following any excisions with Egg Freezing if you can and if it’s part of your plans. I found my AMH levels low (1.2) but still retrieved 25 eggs, so never be discouraged if this is your future planning path.
My Symptoms: I experience bloating, constipation, diarrhea, nausea and vomiting as the main culprits. I have irregular periods in regards to the number of days and if it comes or not (even with an IUD). Pelvic pain is probably the worst of all since it accompanies these symptoms and is present a majority of the time. Others may have different symptoms, and there’s many others I didn’t list but wanted to paint the picture of some I’ve experienced.

ENDOMETRIOSIS LAPAROSCOPIC SURGERY (WHAT TO EXPECT)
PRE-SURGERY

List of questions to ask your doctor
Insurance Information and ID
Necessary forms or paperwork the doctor requires
Make sure any medical records are sent that would be relevant

POST-OP PREP

Eat smaller meals and simple foods days beforehand. If bowel prep is necessary, they also recommend taking a laxative in the days leading up to help prep.
Pack a bag! Not every surgery is an overnight stay but even if you have a day-of surgery, back an overnight bag. Here’s the essentials:
- Phone/Headphones/iPad/Kindle/Books
- Device Chargers
- Medications that you currently take
- Glasses (do not wear contacts day of)
- An extra pair of underwear
- Sanitary Pads or Always Discreet
- Comfy pants with light elastic band around the waist
- Non wired bra
- Slip on shoes (this is clutch! Recommend slides -https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0BL7LJKZW/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1).
- Layers - Sweatshirt, Long Sleeved Shirt etc. - Hospitals are cold!
- Toothbrush and tooth paste
- Hairbrush
- Face wipes, wash cloth, small towel and bar of soap.

SPACE PREP

Make sure your bed or couch is prepped. I stayed on the first level for the first 2ish days before feeling well enough to stay upstairs.
I used a pregnancy pillow on the bed to help me stay on my back while sleeping and help you feel cozy.
Stock the house with foods that will be light for your stomach. Think soups and casseroles! Saltine crackers, broths, rices etc..
If you have a raised bed, get a step stool to assist. It’s best to sit on the side of the bed and slowly lay your upper body down while bringing your knees up and over to your back. You will need to use arm strength the first couple of days to get you up and over since you can’t use the abdomen.
Water and Beverages stocked at all times. I have a reusable water bottle and avoid carbonated beverages for the time being. They fill you with gas for the procedure so it may make those symptoms worse.
Netflix, Kindle, Puzzles, Craft Projects…visits with friends. Whatever makes the time pass, set it up ahead of time so it’s handy.
Items to Keep on Hand: Baby Wipes, heating pads, pads/diapers, candles, essential oils, things that smell good haha

BOWEL PREP
This is dependent on the type of surgery you are having, but its good to have Gatorade, Magnesium Citrate (liquid), laxatives and enemas on hand just in case you need these.
ON SURGERY DAY
It’s important to follow the instructions on what to stop taking and/or eating/drinking prior to the surgery. Wear comfy clothes (wide elastic waistband) and slides with cozy socks. Double check your to go bag and breath.
AT THE HOSPITAL

Do your check-ins and keep your people with you as long as you want.
Make sure to read all the consent forms and ask any questions upfront. Make any advance directives clear.
Just try to remain calm as there’s a lot of down time while they do intake. It is about 2 hours of prep before they bring you in for the surgery itself.
They will ask you the same questions over and over again, that’s normal and trust me, you want to confirm it’s all being done properly.
If you need something for anxiety, they will be sure to give you something if you ask :)
You will be wearing a gown, socks, funky underwear and a cool hair net haha wear the gown backward so you keep warm and keep the butt covered.
Vitals will happen and the anesthesiologist will come and speak with you to make sure they prep the right meds beforehand. Bring up any concerns here with them!
You may be wheeled or walked into surgery. I’ve only ever walked in and laid on the table myself.
They will then put the IV in your arm and sometimes will put on a mask, they will then ask you to count backwards and before you know it, you will be awake again!

RECOVERY

You will wake-up and feel groggy. Totally normal and you will be in a different room. They will likely say a lot really quick about your surgery. Before leaving ask for them to walk through it or see if you can speak with the doctor again when clear headed. RECOMMENDED!
Your throat will be sore, that’s normal from the tube.
Just relax and sleep it off if you want, the goal is to be relaxed and pee once before leaving.
Before you go, eat and drink and pass smoke urine. They’ll provide you with the meds and you’ll be good to go.
Make sure someone brings you home after :)
Make sure you have a bag for vomit in the car.
Bring a small pillow that can be strapped between the car belt and you for maximum comfort on the trip home.
Pain Med Management: This one is important. I messed up night one and didn’t take it soon enough and was in too much pain so make sure you stick to the schedule the doctors give you to ensure you are comfortable.
Keep Walking: It seems unnatural to have a surgery then walk, but the sooner you get up and keep moving around the house, the better. Just avoid heavy lifting and immense bending like movements. Stairs are also ok but also consult with your doctor!
Gas Build Up: I did feel pain in my shoulders from the gas. Just keep moving! It will help get that out of the system but this pain is normal.
Relax and let people take care of you! Don’t be too quick to recover.
Keep an eye out for fever, increased vaginal bleeding, or feeling terrible.
Keep all post op appointments and follow all post op instructions!

ENDOMETRIOSIS MAINTENANCE
Here’s the tips and tricks I found helpful for maintaining my pain and symptoms (GI and back pain related):

Pelvic Floor Therapy: This is important for keeping the muscles in your pelvis healthy and strong to maintain your structure and also help manage pain. Consult with your doctor on whether this is right for you.
Physical Therapy: I do PT for my back and pelvic floor since it’s all related. We focus on Myofascial Release Therapy to help break up the adhesions and give me more mobility. This helps with temporary pain relief (reduction in number), but that is always welcome :)
Acupuncture: I swear by Acupuncture. I don’t know what it does or why, but it works. It’s not a cure by any means, but it's great for relaxation, fertility, digestion, endometriosis, sleep, etc.. I can go on, but it’s not covered by insurance plans all the time so you will need to check and see what you’re able to take on.
Diet/Exercise:
1. Eating high protein, lower fat/carbs (not none just low) helps your body, but overall learn your trigger foods! This will go a long way.
2. Ginger, turmeric and fennel all help with bloating. I like to drink them in tea form when I’m feeling particularly hard stomached as it’s a good natural way to decrease the bloat. Peppermint also works for some, for me it irritates my GERD.
3. Chamomile for relaxation
4. Walking and movement are important. I cannot do anything high impact due to my sacroiliitis diagnosis, so I stick with light yoga and walking.
Alcohol/Other Substances: Don’t do it. Don’t touch it. You’ll thank me later on this point.
Sleep: Insomnia is a very real thing. I think I went 2 or 3 days at its worst one time and I cannot say enough how important trying to keep the same sleep schedule will benefit you. Waking and sleeping around the same time each day will still feel exhausting but at least you know your body is getting the most sleep it can get.
Medications/Supplements:
1. Ibprofuern: This does NOT work for me. I have GERD and ulcers so I cannot take NSAIDs, but with that in mind, NSAIDs are supposedly the best pain medication over the counter to help you manage it.
2. Pain Killers: These are AS NEEDED. I try to refrain and leave these for the TRULY bad days which I try to spread out. Not even worth it sometimes, because I don’t like how I feel and sometimes vomit after taking them. But they do help the pain!
3. IUD/Orilissa: An IUD will NOT do anything. If you are diagnosed, ask your doctor about Orilissa or similar medicines instead of birth control methods. This will not stop the growth, just suppress it. There are side effects and it is only a short term solution.
4. Linzess: This worked well for me for constipation symptoms when they got severe. Definitely recommend bringing this to your doctor if you’re truly suffering and they have not yet mentioned. I also resorted after trying magnesium citrate
5. CBD Lotions/Salves: For my pelvis, I use Healing Rose CBD Salve in Orange and Lavender (https://www.thehealingroseco.com/product/orange-lavender-with-chamomile-herbal-salve-300mg-cbd/). For my back, I use a medical grade CBD lotion with menthol (https://cbdclinic.co/clinical-strength-series/). I also use a CBD massage oil from Healing Rose of the same scent when doing myofascial release at home. I also use Somedays Cramp Cream (https://somedays.com/products/period-cramp-cream?variant=42062153842853).
Heating Pads and Ice Pack: I have several varieties of heating pads. A cordless travel heating pad (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09FPTJL4G?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details), a plug-in heating pad (lhttps://www.hsn.com/products/pure-enrichment-purerelief-xxl-heating-pad-with-9-cord/22188460) and stick on patches (https://www.thermacare.com/ - I use the back patches but reverse them to the front for better coverage). For hot flashes and night sweats (also if you need to relax while anxious) place an ice pack over your chest to help cool or calm down.
Self-Care: No joke, massages, facials, epsom salt baths, sound baths, reiki….anything that you find relaxing. Do it. Try it! They also make CBD bath bombs Ive been wanting to check out.
TENs Machine: I really want one, don’t have one, but people swear by them (the heating pad linked to MyObi has a TENs version - https://myobistore.com/en-us/collections/my-obi-belts/products/apollo-2-0).
Pregnancy Pillow: This one sounds so lame, but I bought a pregnancy pillow for my first endometriosis surgery since I’m a side sleeper to help keep me on my back during recovery. It changed by life! It helps my anxiety and makes me comfortable while sleeping. (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08YYVRXLM/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1)..
Heated Blankets/Cozy Blankets: Make yourself feel better with a cozy blanket. Do it, I dare you!
Endo To-Go Bag: Includes heating pads (travel, plug-in and patches), medications, balms/salves, essential oils and pads/protection items, change of clothes, wet wipes.
Sex Life: I’m single, I don’t have a partner to worry about communicating this issue with at this point, but go slow and communicate given eventually this will have to be a conversation. What I have learned is that if you do have sex and feel pain. Immediately stop! If you associate sex with pain mentally in that moment, it may cause fear in doing so down the line so it’s best to stop the moment you feel any pain occur.
Work Life: I work a demanding job so it was not working with the appointments and care I needed to manage pain. Always get FMLA from your doctor for intermittent leave based on your company's policies. This protects you from flare-ups and appointments. Short Term Disability is based on your situation with work so talk with them about any leave of absence for surgery and recovery and ensure the medical providers fill out the paperwork appropriately.
Friends/Family: This one is the worst. I have to cancel and make plans all the time based on how I feel. I like to line up a bunch of plans for three months out and do my best to make them happen at the beginning of the month when I know I’m most likely to feel good. I just say I’ll make things up to them when I get better and those who have stuck around have been truly amazing friends, but don’t be upset that some might be over the day in and out of what you’re going through. It’s hard for you and sometimes others and it’s just a part of the relationships we’re meant to experience in life. Most people (unless they have endometriosis) don’t understand it so it can feel isolating, but there’s others out there who know what you’re going through and are willing to chat. Just gotta find them and reach out on social media, online etc..
Journaling Symptoms: Guilty of not being the best at this always, but it's good to track your symptoms to see how they work and operate. It helps not only you plan for it, but also your doctors in how best to handle your care. Take photos of things that make sense to show your doctors! Discharge, bowels etc..can sometimes help diagnose or judge with the images.
Next to Bed Kit: Make sure your nightstand is stocked with the essentials for your bad days. Makes it easier to access the items you need when you just can’t get up and get it.
Squatty Potty: Another thing that is majorly life changing on constipation days! Get one or you can make your own :) Take a stack of books and stack them at equal heights on each side and put your feet up. The trick is making sure you’re in a squat with your knees high to your ears.
Clothing: Dressing for this is key but you still want to look cute! Joggers with a stretchy waist are my go to pants, but wide leg trousers with a stretchy waist help with ease of removal but also comfort and brings some style to the look.
Pads: I wear Always Discreet vs. pads. I find when you need to wear them full time for incontinence it just makes it more comfortable. They have different cuts and styles so definitely check them out!

Several people have approached me that they might have endometriosis. Lifelong warrior so thought I would share my tips and tricks I put together for my friends and family to share with you :) Hope this helps someone!
ENDOMETRIOSIS SURGERY FACTS

EXCISION SURGERY! I cannot stress this one enough. If you have an ablation, it will grow back and likely quick (but consult with your doctors on your case 100%). Excision is when they cut it out vs. it gets burned off. You will have a better success rate and slow rate of growth if they excise. Not all cases can be depending on location so again, please talk with your doctor about your situation. This is not the same for everyone.
If your doctor cannot do excision surgery. Skip and move on to the next! Trust me, well worth the time to research and find the right doctor. You will thank me later for this one too haha.
Finding a doctor is stuff. Also tough to find resources. If you cannot find an Endometriosis specialist in your area who does excision, you may need to look out of state, but one tip is exploring gynecological oncologists. Some will take benign cases, but not all so do your research. But it’s a good avenue for help in your area or you want insurance coverage.
Nanny’s Nook is a good resource for online information regarding endometriosis: https://nancysnookendo.com/
Dr Seckin’s book called The Doctor Will See You Now is also worth the read (https://www.amazon.com/Doctor-Will-See-You-Endometriosis/dp/1681621126)
Definitely look into Egg Freezing before doing any permanent surgeries. The ovaries are more intact when there is a uterus in place, so I recommend immediately following any excisions with Egg Freezing if you can and if it’s part of your plans. I found my AMH levels low (1.2) but still retrieved 25 eggs, so never be discouraged if this is your future planning path.
My Symptoms: I experience bloating, constipation, diarrhea, nausea and vomiting as the main culprits. I have irregular periods in regards to the number of days and if it comes or not (even with an IUD). Pelvic pain is probably the worst of all since it accompanies these symptoms and is present a majority of the time. Others may have different symptoms, and there’s many others I didn’t list but wanted to paint the picture of some I’ve experienced.

ENDOMETRIOSIS LAPAROSCOPIC SURGERY (WHAT TO EXPECT)
PRE-SURGERY

List of questions to ask your doctor
Insurance Information and ID
Necessary forms or paperwork the doctor requires
Make sure any medical records are sent that would be relevant

POST-OP PREP

Eat smaller meals and simple foods days beforehand. If bowel prep is necessary, they also recommend taking a laxative in the days leading up to help prep.
Pack a bag! Not every surgery is an overnight stay but even if you have a day-of surgery, back an overnight bag. Here’s the essentials:
- Phone/Headphones/iPad/Kindle/Books
- Device Chargers
- Medications that you currently take
- Glasses (do not wear contacts day of)
- An extra pair of underwear
- Sanitary Pads or Always Discreet
- Comfy pants with light elastic band around the waist
- Non wired bra
- Slip on shoes (this is clutch! Recommend slides -https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0BL7LJKZW/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1).
- Layers - Sweatshirt, Long Sleeved Shirt etc. - Hospitals are cold!
- Toothbrush and tooth paste
- Hairbrush
- Face wipes, wash cloth, small towel and bar of soap.

SPACE PREP

Make sure your bed or couch is prepped. I stayed on the first level for the first 2ish days before feeling well enough to stay upstairs.
I used a pregnancy pillow on the bed to help me stay on my back while sleeping and help you feel cozy.
Stock the house with foods that will be light for your stomach. Think soups and casseroles! Saltine crackers, broths, rices etc..
If you have a raised bed, get a step stool to assist. It’s best to sit on the side of the bed and slowly lay your upper body down while bringing your knees up and over to your back. You will need to use arm strength the first couple of days to get you up and over since you can’t use the abdomen.
Water and Beverages stocked at all times. I have a reusable water bottle and avoid carbonated beverages for the time being. They fill you with gas for the procedure so it may make those symptoms worse.
Netflix, Kindle, Puzzles, Craft Projects…visits with friends. Whatever makes the time pass, set it up ahead of time so it’s handy.
Items to Keep on Hand: Baby Wipes, heating pads, pads/diapers, candles, essential oils, things that smell good haha

BOWEL PREP
This is dependent on the type of surgery you are having, but its good to have Gatorade, Magnesium Citrate (liquid), laxatives and enemas on hand just in case you need these.
ON SURGERY DAY
It’s important to follow the instructions on what to stop taking and/or eating/drinking prior to the surgery. Wear comfy clothes (wide elastic waistband) and slides with cozy socks. Double check your to go bag and breath.
AT THE HOSPITAL

Do your check-ins and keep your people with you as long as you want.
Make sure to read all the consent forms and ask any questions upfront. Make any advance directives clear.
Just try to remain calm as there’s a lot of down time while they do intake. It is about 2 hours of prep before they bring you in for the surgery itself.
They will ask you the same questions over and over again, that’s normal and trust me, you want to confirm it’s all being done properly.
If you need something for anxiety, they will be sure to give you something if you ask :)
You will be wearing a gown, socks, funky underwear and a cool hair net haha wear the gown backward so you keep warm and keep the butt covered.
Vitals will happen and the anesthesiologist will come and speak with you to make sure they prep the right meds beforehand. Bring up any concerns here with them!
You may be wheeled or walked into surgery. I’ve only ever walked in and laid on the table myself.
They will then put the IV in your arm and sometimes will put on a mask, they will then ask you to count backwards and before you know it, you will be awake again!

RECOVERY

You will wake-up and feel groggy. Totally normal and you will be in a different room. They will likely say a lot really quick about your surgery. Before leaving ask for them to walk through it or see if you can speak with the doctor again when clear headed. RECOMMENDED!
Your throat will be sore, that’s normal from the tube.
Just relax and sleep it off if you want, the goal is to be relaxed and pee once before leaving.
Before you go, eat and drink and pass smoke urine. They’ll provide you with the meds and you’ll be good to go.
Make sure someone brings you home after :)
Make sure you have a bag for vomit in the car.
Bring a small pillow that can be strapped between the car belt and you for maximum comfort on the trip home.
Pain Med Management: This one is important. I messed up night one and didn’t take it soon enough and was in too much pain so make sure you stick to the schedule the doctors give you to ensure you are comfortable.
Keep Walking: It seems unnatural to have a surgery then walk, but the sooner you get up and keep moving around the house, the better. Just avoid heavy lifting and immense bending like movements. Stairs are also ok but also consult with your doctor!
Gas Build Up: I did feel pain in my shoulders from the gas. Just keep moving! It will help get that out of the system but this pain is normal.
Relax and let people take care of you! Don’t be too quick to recover.
Keep an eye out for fever, increased vaginal bleeding, or feeling terrible.
Keep all post op appointments and follow all post op instructions!

ENDOMETRIOSIS MAINTENANCE
Here’s the tips and tricks I found helpful for maintaining my pain and symptoms (GI and back pain related):

Pelvic Floor Therapy: This is important for keeping the muscles in your pelvis healthy and strong to maintain your structure and also help manage pain. Consult with your doctor on whether this is right for you.
Physical Therapy: I do PT for my back and pelvic floor since it’s all related. We focus on Myofascial Release Therapy to help break up the adhesions and give me more mobility. This helps with temporary pain relief (reduction in number), but that is always welcome :)
Acupuncture: I swear by Acupuncture. I don’t know what it does or why, but it works. It’s not a cure by any means, but it's great for relaxation, fertility, digestion, endometriosis, sleep, etc.. I can go on, but it’s not covered by insurance plans all the time so you will need to check and see what you’re able to take on.
Diet/Exercise:
1. Eating high protein, lower fat/carbs (not none just low) helps your body, but overall learn your trigger foods! This will go a long way.
2. Ginger, turmeric and fennel all help with bloating. I like to drink them in tea form when I’m feeling particularly hard stomached as it’s a good natural way to decrease the bloat. Peppermint also works for some, for me it irritates my GERD.
3. Chamomile for relaxation
4. Walking and movement are important. I cannot do anything high impact due to my sacroiliitis diagnosis, so I stick with light yoga and walking.
Alcohol/Other Substances: Don’t do it. Don’t touch it. You’ll thank me later on this point.
Sleep: Insomnia is a very real thing. I think I went 2 or 3 days at its worst one time and I cannot say enough how important trying to keep the same sleep schedule will benefit you. Waking and sleeping around the same time each day will still feel exhausting but at least you know your body is getting the most sleep it can get.
Medications/Supplements:
1. Ibprofuern: This does NOT work for me. I have GERD and ulcers so I cannot take NSAIDs, but with that in mind, NSAIDs are supposedly the best pain medication over the counter to help you manage it.
2. Pain Killers: These are AS NEEDED. I try to refrain and leave these for the TRULY bad days which I try to spread out. Not even worth it sometimes, because I don’t like how I feel and sometimes vomit after taking them. But they do help the pain!
3. IUD/Orilissa: An IUD will NOT do anything. If you are diagnosed, ask your doctor about Orilissa or similar medicines instead of birth control methods. This will not stop the growth, just suppress it. There are side effects and it is only a short term solution.
4. Linzess: This worked well for me for constipation symptoms when they got severe. Definitely recommend bringing this to your doctor if you’re truly suffering and they have not yet mentioned. I also resorted after trying magnesium citrate
5. CBD Lotions/Salves: For my pelvis, I use Healing Rose CBD Salve in Orange and Lavender (https://www.thehealingroseco.com/product/orange-lavender-with-chamomile-herbal-salve-300mg-cbd/). For my back, I use a medical grade CBD lotion with menthol (https://cbdclinic.co/clinical-strength-series/). I also use a CBD massage oil from Healing Rose of the same scent when doing myofascial release at home. I also use Somedays Cramp Cream (https://somedays.com/products/period-cramp-cream?variant=42062153842853).
Heating Pads and Ice Pack: I have several varieties of heating pads. A cordless travel heating pad (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09FPTJL4G?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details), a plug-in heating pad (lhttps://www.hsn.com/products/pure-enrichment-purerelief-xxl-heating-pad-with-9-cord/22188460) and stick on patches (https://www.thermacare.com/ - I use the back patches but reverse them to the front for better coverage). For hot flashes and night sweats (also if you need to relax while anxious) place an ice pack over your chest to help cool or calm down.
Self-Care: No joke, massages, facials, epsom salt baths, sound baths, reiki….anything that you find relaxing. Do it. Try it! They also make CBD bath bombs Ive been wanting to check out.
TENs Machine: I really want one, don’t have one, but people swear by them (the heating pad linked to MyObi has a TENs version - https://myobistore.com/en-us/collections/my-obi-belts/products/apollo-2-0).
Pregnancy Pillow: This one sounds so lame, but I bought a pregnancy pillow for my first endometriosis surgery since I’m a side sleeper to help keep me on my back during recovery. It changed by life! It helps my anxiety and makes me comfortable while sleeping. (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08YYVRXLM/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1)..
Heated Blankets/Cozy Blankets: Make yourself feel better with a cozy blanket. Do it, I dare you!
Endo To-Go Bag: Includes heating pads (travel, plug-in and patches), medications, balms/salves, essential oils and pads/protection items, change of clothes, wet wipes.
Sex Life: I’m single, I don’t have a partner to worry about communicating this issue with at this point, but go slow and communicate given eventually this will have to be a conversation. What I have learned is that if you do have sex and feel pain. Immediately stop! If you associate sex with pain mentally in that moment, it may cause fear in doing so down the line so it’s best to stop the moment you feel any pain occur.
Work Life: I work a demanding job so it was not working with the appointments and care I needed to manage pain. Always get FMLA from your doctor for intermittent leave based on your company's policies. This protects you from flare-ups and appointments. Short Term Disability is based on your situation with work so talk with them about any leave of absence for surgery and recovery and ensure the medical providers fill out the paperwork appropriately.
Friends/Family: This one is the worst. I have to cancel and make plans all the time based on how I feel. I like to line up a bunch of plans for three months out and do my best to make them happen at the beginning of the month when I know I’m most likely to feel good. I just say I’ll make things up to them when I get better and those who have stuck around have been truly amazing friends, but don’t be upset that some might be over the day in and out of what you’re going through. It’s hard for you and sometimes others and it’s just a part of the relationships we’re meant to experience in life. Most people (unless they have endometriosis) don’t understand it so it can feel isolating, but there’s others out there who know what you’re going through and are willing to chat. Just gotta find them and reach out on social media, online etc..
Journaling Symptoms: Guilty of not being the best at this always, but it's good to track your symptoms to see how they work and operate. It helps not only you plan for it, but also your doctors in how best to handle your care. Take photos of things that make sense to show your doctors! Discharge, bowels etc..can sometimes help diagnose or judge with the images.
Next to Bed Kit: Make sure your nightstand is stocked with the essentials for your bad days. Makes it easier to access the items you need when you just can’t get up and get it.
Squatty Potty: Another thing that is majorly life changing on constipation days! Get one or you can make your own :) Take a stack of books and stack them at equal heights on each side and put your feet up. The trick is making sure you’re in a squat with your knees high to your ears.
Clothing: Dressing for this is key but you still want to look cute! Joggers with a stretchy waist are my go to pants, but wide leg trousers with a stretchy waist help with ease of removal but also comfort and brings some style to the look.
Pads: I wear Always Discreet vs. pads. I find when you need to wear them full time for incontinence it just makes it more comfortable. They have different cuts and styles so definitely check them out!

So on 02/02/2023 I was involved in a car accident. I was the front passenger (21), my younger brother (19) was behind the driver (21) and the driver was a friend that I'd been to school with and good friends with for a few years. It was a swooping corner where the speed limit for the road was 50mph. I don't remember the accident because of the extent of my injuries, which I'll talk about further on, but my brother seems to remember it like it was yesterday. I'm not going to get into all the nits and grits because I'm not here to talk about that. From my brothers recollection she was going 60/65mph. Now this corner is a corner that most people take going about 35-40mph fastest so when it was hit with this speed, she lost control. The car flipped twice and caused driver and bro to pass out for a second. Now me, me on the other hand, I got fucked up. So, unconscious and the fire brigade had to cut me out. Ambulance got to me after that and I had a seizure in the ambulance. This is all on a corner 5 minutes away from my home, maybe not even that so my mum had quickly attended. The ambulance had to give me 4 pints of plasma and 4 pints of platelets on scene so, damn I've lost more than half of my blood on scene so yeah oof ok. I was unconscious the whole time, sent to the Trauma ER, thank god, and well that's where it begins in a way.
I'm sorry to bombard you guys with this as my first post, I've got accounts I just didn't want to put time into logging in. So, injuries I'll list em head to toe:- Major head trauma: Skull fracture, Right side perforated ear drum, Fractured spine (C6), Broken clavicle, Broken elbow, Broken ribs x2 (4L, 6R, I believe), Nerve damage of the entirety of my left side: Nerve damage to the eye caused double vision as the nerves in the eye couldn't move the eye as well, Due to the perforated ear drum I now require a hearing aid because it's damaged and doesn't work as well. I was in a coma for 5-7 days (can't remember how long),The major head trauma caused me to forget a good chunk of the year before and the memory loss got more sparse the further it went back so I remembered childhood shit but not much of 2022, Kind of most of 2021, then it drains off and None of 2023. I got a good amount of 2022 and 2023 given back to me through other people telling me memories. My family were all in the hospital within an hour, they were told by the doctors that they didn't know if I would survive but if I did that there was a high chance of me having a disability of some sort or not remember them. Even in ICU when I started to twitch and move the way my family's used to seeing me move, they'd always be like 'It might just be her reflexes' n shit like that.
This is where it gets deep. That's the first thing I had to learn to deal with, I had short term memory loss from the brain injury so I had to rely on the memory of others. Before the crash I was smoking weed, didn't have a reliable job that I wanted yet and I was free. I'd broken up with my first girlfriend of 4 years and I spent the whole of January finding girls to shag (I slept with 3 from after Christmas till the crash) and I had no commitments. Nada. I remember feeling fucked with not knowing what to do but feeling great about the fact I was free. It had it's ups and downs. After the crash I was in hospital till mid march, I got my neck brace off in Jul/Aug, I got a girlfriend in August (one of the ones from January that I'd been chatting to in hospital and shagged in my neck brace) and then come round to September I manage to have the energy for a few shifts at the pub. Then, since January, I've been working full time, 5 days a week at a Primary school. One thing that no one can understand is what it feels like to come from being that weak, so weak that anyone around you doesn't want you to carry anything to in the gym better than before. I look fine now. Believe it or not the only visible injuries that say I nearly died are my hearing aid, my neck scar from my hospital tube and a wonky broken finger (but that happened in hospital because the nurses weren't watching me when they were told 24/7 watching so it's fucked). I look fine but I'm not fine. I think part of what I'm sick of is people seeing that I've healed physically so they assume I'm fine and better than before but no, I'm worse. I feel worse than I did when I was fucked up, neck brace on 24/7, Oramorph at night as well as literally 12 other pills. 12 pills 3 times a day. No one will ever know what it was like to have to take all of that. They all had a purpose, every single one 3 times a day had a FUCKING PURPOSE. I'm only taking 4 a day now but that's because I've been diagnosed with ADHD and I'm taking meds for that. Only ones from hospital I'm still taking is Propanalol but I'm due for a review. All of these appointments. CT scan, MRI scan, finger check up, clean neck brace, get your hearing tested, do a teaching assistant course, learn to be a SEND teaching assistant on the job, check up for your health condition, confirm with the doctor you can drive. ALL THIS SHIT BECAUSE MY FRIEND OFFERED TO DRIVE AND I SAID YES, WHEN I WAS GOING TO DRIVE.
Moral of this is, if literally anyone has had anything similar or something they thing they should say about their experience that might help me with all of this. I'm not gonna read back through to check for grammar errors or make the story come across perfectly. At the moment it just feels like the only thing that's stopping me top myself is knowing I've got money coming my way. It's hard though because how far can someone be pushed until money isn't worth living for.

Orange pill 60 e655 can smoke these you

Married Red Pill: Sexual strategy for men in marriage or long term relationships

I am searching for:

Friend Ball

Moon Ball

Love Ball

Dream Ball

Heavy Ball

Level Ball

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Safari Ball

Apricorn Ball breedjects for trade -

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Various developers:

Further notes:

Zen not related to taoism

Zen rejects meditation

Zen is not and never was a branch of Buddhism

60's as a primary sources for Neo-Christian new agers