Dinner grace non denominational

I'm an off-service resident on Obstetrics. On weekend call its just me, a senior and two in-house attendings. Some days its so busy I have dinner between 1-3 AM. Our triage nurses lose their minds when it takes you more than 15 min to see a pt. My last call shift they got mad that I was seeing pts 30 min after I was called even though I told them I was dealing with a pt in SEPTIC SHOCK WITH INCREASING O2 REQUIREMENTS. Another time they were pissed I wasn't returning their pages while I was gowned up delivering a child. When I explained after their response "well we needed you here" ... the patient was there for nausea. Another time a pt was seizing and I was coordinating a plan with neuro. I lost it last shift when they called my senior to complain that I was "filling out plans without seeing pts" when in reality I was starting my notes by filling in the pmhx, US results, Rh etc... The nurse who complained about me apologized instantly when I showed her how I start my notes but this was after a full blown argument. She is 50+ and was seemingly amazed that we can use macros to start our notes. I then had a nurse then tell me that doing a quick chart review before seeing non-urgent pts was not necessary. Idk what to do anymore and would appreciate any advice. My attending and seniors are all otherwise happy with my performance lmao

I have two reddit accounts, so if these stories are familiar, that's why. Someone commented that one of these sounds like abuse from my Christian parent to me. So I've compiled all most of them here. (Most of them are to do with Christianity, the hypocrisy of Christianity, or the consequences of my choice to leave it.) Please be honest but also recognize that this isn't all the times sometimes these are amazing people and I love these people but for my sake I need to know if it's really that bad.
"I'm rather young. My mom (42F) and my dad (41M) both grew up in the church. My grandfather is the pastor of his own church and my mother was raised by her grandmother who played piano in the church. Growing up I'd say I was the perfect little Christian girl. I liked praying and went to church, I wanted to help the world, and I wanted to be baptized before I even started kindergarten. I remember that vividly. I was sitting in the kitchen in one of our folding chairs because we couldn't afford real ones and I was begging my mom to let me get baptized.
My family and I are African American. The church I went to when I was little was a black church. My mother was the praise dance choreographer so of course I did praise dancing. I'd go to Sunday school, I wore the big puffy dresses, and I knew all the songs. Of course I had the common experience of being assaulted in a sexual manor by someone I went to church with. But we were both the same age and I just knew I was uncomfortable and she just knew that's how people bigger than us touched each other. All that came of me telling my mom and me not having to go to her house anymore. I was always told that I was intelligent and I believed everything I was told without question. Then my sister was born and we moved. At first everything stayed the same. We ended up having to switch churches as the previous one was an hour away from our new home. We found a new church. A church were you can wear your hoodie and jeans like it's a Tuesday. I made friends and played sports and nothing really changed until I was eight. When I was eight there was a girl on my softball team I'll call E. E is Jewish and at the time I thought everyone was Christian. As in Christianity was the default and only option. But my friend E's church wasn't called a church but a synagogue, and she couldn't eat specific foods together. E also talked about BaBat Mitzvah's. When I brought that up to my mom she said my friend was Jewish and that being Jewish is like being Christian but they read from the old testament exclusively but they don't believe in Jesus.
Which a while later caused me to spend all night crying because I put the two and two together of: Believing in resurrection Sunday and that Jesus was gods son is what got us into heaven and I cried worrying one of my closest, sweetest friend and her nice family would go to hell. Then school, which had always been easy, became hard. Which made me feel dumb. Especially since my self worth was put into how smart I was and I wouldn't dare get below an A or high B because I was scared I'd get punished. Like the time I slammed my fingers a metal door on accident and spent the next fifteen minutes in tears and my mom told me if I kept crying she'd take me to the hospital to have them cut off my fingers. Because of moments like that disappointing my parent or having to big of an emotional reaction was not okay and it made me scared and uncomfortable. They knew I was struggling, they were the ones who stayed up till four something in the morning with me trying to explain the concept. But with every minor and major struggle I felt like my worth was slipping away. But the better I did in school the more my outstanding grades became the expectation which resulted in acknowledgement for my academic achievements disappearing. I felt like I was falling apart so I'd spend hours pray and begging god for help. To take the feeling of being worthless away. I developed an eating disorder sometime before ten. Specifically binge eating. My parents would find the trash, not understand that it was more than just "the sin of gluttony" and yell which made me feel threatened and eat more food.
And then I'd pray on my knees on the hard wood outside my room door with nails and splinters in it and hurt myself because not only was I a dumb glutton but I also apparently wasn't good enough for god to save or help. It made me think if he wants a relationship with me so bad why does he ignore me? I'd hold a knife to my wrist when I'd wash dishes to see if I felt him then. I questions if I'd even go to heaven. For all my problems the answer was to pray but the problem was I'm doing that but my prayers aren't being answered. I was having thought of death no twelve year old should have. On my birthday I was like a puppet simply going through the motions. Then I started questioning my sexuality. Not to mention, I'm now cut off from the world because this is all during covid, on the bright side they gave me my door back. Now I'm older and I have questions like. How was Adam able to name all the animals and understand god not wanting him to eat from the tree and their need to stay in the garden, but not comprehend his nakedness? How was Eve able to be tempted and not understand her nakedness? Why did they and apparently god think being naked was wrong? How are we not all messed up from tons of inbreeding and how do animals still exist after the inbreeding the would've occurred after Noah's ark if he only saved one male and female of each species? Why did god want to flood the Earth and purge it of it's evil humans if he was the one who decided free will would be a good idea? Since he is perfect and all knowing their shouldn't have been a moment of let me make something I'll destroy, wait nvm. My parents have changed a lot since I was little and have let me go to therapy. Of course I have a Christian therapist. Which I wouldn't mind if it wasn't for the fact that every time I bring up trauma that's linked to religion or need advice in terms of how to change a bad behavior or over come anxiety the advice is to pray. And at times I feel like I'm in a moment of doubt she feel she should try and pull me back in. But they also said I have to volunteer in the childern ministry at church.
I used to work with children ages three to five. Now I'm in one to three. And it feels like I'm spreading propaganda. They tell me what to say and what the goal is for the kids to believe by the end of the month. After I can't help but feel dirty. I'm at the point in my journey were I don't believe. But I have to keep working in the childern ministry, I have to go to church every Sunday, my parents are both devotional authors with published books. I'm the only one in my family who doesn't believe both extended and intermediate. I just wanna know I'm not crazy. I feel like I'm being brainwashed or something. Like drink the blood and eat the body of Jesus!? It's all too much. And now that my parents know they're trying to make me go back to believing. And I listen to them talk and it's like I can't have a conversations with you. You put your faith above all else. You believe whole heartedly, my point of view is automatically wrong to you because faith trumps logic so why would I share it with you? But at the same time it's majority of the music they play, it's all their advice, I go every Sunday, my classmates and friends are majority Christian and yet I even though I see the flaws and hypocrisy, I still can't help but wonder, am I the crazy one?"
"My grandma would grab me and call me "big booty Judy." And my butt was grabbed, spanked, and frequently talked about. Sometimes she'd just sit there tapping it while she talked. It started when I was around three or four and just continued. Though now I'm in my teens and rarely see her. But my breast were also a topic for a while. Comments like "where'd you get those from?", "she's bigger than you.", and "her sisters the tall one but she's the curvy one." They felt icky but I didn't dwell on them. But she's also an alcoholic along with many other things. She dated my mom's friends when she was in college, gets shit faced in at events like birthdays and funerals. Shakes her ass on family members and frequently offered us alcohol. But I always took pride in being her favorite grandchild. Which she constantly reminded me I was. She also has a serious spending problem. But the funny thing is. She goes to a church church. She's in the choir and used frequently as a look example. She hosts church events and potlucks. She even remarried in the church. Never mind the things I just said that'd be considered sins. She's the perfect Christian woman."
"How do you cope with the level of disrespect? I'm not eighteen yet, but I'm still able to be disrespected. My main problem is the disrespect from my parents. My parents who wish to be respected in their beliefs and don't want their minds to change. But at the same time, my dad has sent my scriptures and stuff for the past couple of months since it came out. I don't believe in God or Jesus. They force me to serve and volunteer at church and attend every Sunday. They paired me with a not so ethical Christian therapist. Then both gang up on me about it and take my silence as defeat when I'm just respecting their beliefs. I'm literally the only non Christian in my family. I also have mental problems from staying with them and just in general, but they won't test me because I don't behave in such a stereotypical manner. I want to say they love me, but does someone who blatantly disrespects you love you? I'm having a hard time with seeing if I should do something as drastic as no contact after I reach a certain age.
But at the same time their those awful parents who don't just blatantly suck but also have messed me up quite a bit, resulting in me not feeling like I have a right to be upset. I've told them about how Christianity mixed with their parenting drove me to suicidal thoughts, almost going through with it, and an eating disorder I'm still battling. I also can't just leave and close the door behind me. I'm the oldest, and their are two more kids just like me, and if I turned my back on them, I'd never forgive myself. They're my siblings, but they're also what stopped me from going through with the bad thoughts I was having. They need someone who will be honest, say the weird things, and answer the ignored questions. So, how can I deal with the blatant disrespect so that I'm around for them? What skill for stress management can I use? How do I block out the constant religious gaslighting that happens in church? Because I have over two more years of this."
"My dad said if people don't wanna have a baby, they shouldn't have sex even if they're married. But sir, you had three babies while financially unstable because you couldn't keep your damn hands off my mom. You were planning me, but your job fell through, and when my mom went to get back on birth control, it was too late, so I'll give you a pass with me. But my siblings were both surprises. So, quit judging and practice what you preach. But that's not what pissed me off the most. He said women will put all their time into work and not their husbands, and that's why some men cheat, but the way he said it, it was like he was justifying it. But my dad, he'd go to hooters alone, and when I needed tights, he got them from a woman their and it made me think what if. And I know it's stupid, but that what if. It is so loud.
And it's not even the first time he's said something along the lines of justifying it and almost blaming the woman who gets cheated on. But then he likes to be all up in arms about how his friend married a woman who cheated on him multiple times. My dad's like, I wanna pour into my kids but then makes no effort, and when we spent time with him, we had to initiate it. He doesn't do the hey you wanna . . . stuff. But he has his own company, and they can't get any work right now, so he spends most of his time at home. And then says I'm just to tired to spend time with ya'll.
My mom was sick to the point of being half passed out in a drive-thru after taking my brother to karate and having to pick up dinner. I would've offered to drive him if I could. I'm still leaning, and I'm bad at staying in one lane. But my dad was really busy on his PS5 with his made-up football team. So busy he couldn't take my brother to karate nor could he pause his game to get dinner. I'm kinda starting to hate him. He's also done a couple of other things, but that's what recently has made me mad. But I don't feel like I have a right to be mad because he's here and a lot of my friends dad aren't, and he's not physically abusive like my best friends dad is. I just don't know how I should feel. Is everyone's dad like this?
Edit: It's mothers day and he couldn't be bothered to get the food, pick up the groceries, nothing. #1Dad guys."
​
So is it truly a horrible go no contact at eighteen situation, a be watchful situation, or is it fine? I know some of this stuff is a lot but some of it was also in a moment of extreme emotion. Remember like I said in the beginning they're not always like this.

I have two reddit accounts, so if these stories are familiar, that's why. Someone commented that one of these sounds like abuse from my Christian parent to me. So I've compiled all most of them here. (Most of them are to do with Christianity, the hypocrisy of Christianity, or the consequences of my choice to leave it.) Please be honest but also recognize that this isn't all the times sometimes these are amazing people and I love these people but for my sake I need to know if it's really that bad.
"I'm rather young. My mom (42F) and my dad (41M) both grew up in the church. My grandfather is the pastor of his own church and my mother was raised by her grandmother who played piano in the church. Growing up I'd say I was the perfect little Christian girl. I liked praying and went to church, I wanted to help the world, and I wanted to be baptized before I even started kindergarten. I remember that vividly. I was sitting in the kitchen in one of our folding chairs because we couldn't afford real ones and I was begging my mom to let me get baptized.
My family and I are African American. The church I went to when I was little was a black church. My mother was the praise dance choreographer so of course I did praise dancing. I'd go to Sunday school, I wore the big puffy dresses, and I knew all the songs. Of course I had the common experience of being assaulted in a sexual manor by someone I went to church with. But we were both the same age and I just knew I was uncomfortable and she just knew that's how people bigger than us touched each other. All that came of me telling my mom and me not having to go to her house anymore. I was always told that I was intelligent and I believed everything I was told without question. Then my sister was born and we moved. At first everything stayed the same. We ended up having to switch churches as the previous one was an hour away from our new home. We found a new church. A church were you can wear your hoodie and jeans like it's a Tuesday. I made friends and played sports and nothing really changed until I was eight. When I was eight there was a girl on my softball team I'll call E. E is Jewish and at the time I thought everyone was Christian. As in Christianity was the default and only option. But my friend E's church wasn't called a church but a synagogue, and she couldn't eat specific foods together. E also talked about BaBat Mitzvah's. When I brought that up to my mom she said my friend was Jewish and that being Jewish is like being Christian but they read from the old testament exclusively but they don't believe in Jesus.
Which a while later caused me to spend all night crying because I put the two and two together of: Believing in resurrection Sunday and that Jesus was gods son is what got us into heaven and I cried worrying one of my closest, sweetest friend and her nice family would go to hell. Then school, which had always been easy, became hard. Which made me feel dumb. Especially since my self worth was put into how smart I was and I wouldn't dare get below an A or high B because I was scared I'd get punished. Like the time I slammed my fingers a metal door on accident and spent the next fifteen minutes in tears and my mom told me if I kept crying she'd take me to the hospital to have them cut off my fingers. Because of moments like that disappointing my parent or having to big of an emotional reaction was not okay and it made me scared and uncomfortable. They knew I was struggling, they were the ones who stayed up till four something in the morning with me trying to explain the concept. But with every minor and major struggle I felt like my worth was slipping away. But the better I did in school the more my outstanding grades became the expectation which resulted in acknowledgement for my academic achievements disappearing. I felt like I was falling apart so I'd spend hours pray and begging god for help. To take the feeling of being worthless away. I developed an eating disorder sometime before ten. Specifically binge eating. My parents would find the trash, not understand that it was more than just "the sin of gluttony" and yell which made me feel threatened and eat more food.
And then I'd pray on my knees on the hard wood outside my room door with nails and splinters in it and hurt myself because not only was I a dumb glutton but I also apparently wasn't good enough for god to save or help. It made me think if he wants a relationship with me so bad why does he ignore me? I'd hold a knife to my wrist when I'd wash dishes to see if I felt him then. I questions if I'd even go to heaven. For all my problems the answer was to pray but the problem was I'm doing that but my prayers aren't being answered. I was having thought of death no twelve year old should have. On my birthday I was like a puppet simply going through the motions. Then I started questioning my sexuality. Not to mention, I'm now cut off from the world because this is all during covid, on the bright side they gave me my door back. Now I'm older and I have questions like. How was Adam able to name all the animals and understand god not wanting him to eat from the tree and their need to stay in the garden, but not comprehend his nakedness? How was Eve able to be tempted and not understand her nakedness? Why did they and apparently god think being naked was wrong? How are we not all messed up from tons of inbreeding and how do animals still exist after the inbreeding the would've occurred after Noah's ark if he only saved one male and female of each species? Why did god want to flood the Earth and purge it of it's evil humans if he was the one who decided free will would be a good idea? Since he is perfect and all knowing their shouldn't have been a moment of let me make something I'll destroy, wait nvm. My parents have changed a lot since I was little and have let me go to therapy. Of course I have a Christian therapist. Which I wouldn't mind if it wasn't for the fact that every time I bring up trauma that's linked to religion or need advice in terms of how to change a bad behavior or over come anxiety the advice is to pray. And at times I feel like I'm in a moment of doubt she feel she should try and pull me back in. But they also said I have to volunteer in the childern ministry at church.
I used to work with children ages three to five. Now I'm in one to three. And it feels like I'm spreading propaganda. They tell me what to say and what the goal is for the kids to believe by the end of the month. After I can't help but feel dirty. I'm at the point in my journey were I don't believe. But I have to keep working in the childern ministry, I have to go to church every Sunday, my parents are both devotional authors with published books. I'm the only one in my family who doesn't believe both extended and intermediate. I just wanna know I'm not crazy. I feel like I'm being brainwashed or something. Like drink the blood and eat the body of Jesus!? It's all too much. And now that my parents know they're trying to make me go back to believing. And I listen to them talk and it's like I can't have a conversations with you. You put your faith above all else. You believe whole heartedly, my point of view is automatically wrong to you because faith trumps logic so why would I share it with you? But at the same time it's majority of the music they play, it's all their advice, I go every Sunday, my classmates and friends are majority Christian and yet I even though I see the flaws and hypocrisy, I still can't help but wonder, am I the crazy one?"
"My grandma would grab me and call me "big booty Judy." And my butt was grabbed, spanked, and frequently talked about. Sometimes she'd just sit there tapping it while she talked. It started when I was around three or four and just continued. Though now I'm in my teens and rarely see her. But my breast were also a topic for a while. Comments like "where'd you get those from?", "she's bigger than you.", and "her sisters the tall one but she's the curvy one." They felt icky but I didn't dwell on them. But she's also an alcoholic along with many other things. She dated my mom's friends when she was in college, gets shit faced in at events like birthdays and funerals. Shakes her ass on family members and frequently offered us alcohol. But I always took pride in being her favorite grandchild. Which she constantly reminded me I was. She also has a serious spending problem. But the funny thing is. She goes to a church church. She's in the choir and used frequently as a look example. She hosts church events and potlucks. She even remarried in the church. Never mind the things I just said that'd be considered sins. She's the perfect Christian woman."
"How do you cope with the level of disrespect? I'm not eighteen yet, but I'm still able to be disrespected. My main problem is the disrespect from my parents. My parents who wish to be respected in their beliefs and don't want their minds to change. But at the same time, my dad has sent my scriptures and stuff for the past couple of months since it came out. I don't believe in God or Jesus. They force me to serve and volunteer at church and attend every Sunday. They paired me with a not so ethical Christian therapist. Then both gang up on me about it and take my silence as defeat when I'm just respecting their beliefs. I'm literally the only non Christian in my family. I also have mental problems from staying with them and just in general, but they won't test me because I don't behave in such a stereotypical manner. I want to say they love me, but does someone who blatantly disrespects you love you? I'm having a hard time with seeing if I should do something as drastic as no contact after I reach a certain age.
But at the same time their those awful parents who don't just blatantly suck but also have messed me up quite a bit, resulting in me not feeling like I have a right to be upset. I've told them about how Christianity mixed with their parenting drove me to suicidal thoughts, almost going through with it, and an eating disorder I'm still battling. I also can't just leave and close the door behind me. I'm the oldest, and their are two more kids just like me, and if I turned my back on them, I'd never forgive myself. They're my siblings, but they're also what stopped me from going through with the bad thoughts I was having. They need someone who will be honest, say the weird things, and answer the ignored questions. So, how can I deal with the blatant disrespect so that I'm around for them? What skill for stress management can I use? How do I block out the constant religious gaslighting that happens in church? Because I have over two more years of this."
"My dad said if people don't wanna have a baby, they shouldn't have sex even if they're married. But sir, you had three babies while financially unstable because you couldn't keep your damn hands off my mom. You were planning me, but your job fell through, and when my mom went to get back on birth control, it was too late, so I'll give you a pass with me. But my siblings were both surprises. So, quit judging and practice what you preach. But that's not what pissed me off the most. He said women will put all their time into work and not their husbands, and that's why some men cheat, but the way he said it, it was like he was justifying it. But my dad, he'd go to hooters alone, and when I needed tights, he got them from a woman their and it made me think what if. And I know it's stupid, but that what if. It is so loud.
And it's not even the first time he's said something along the lines of justifying it and almost blaming the woman who gets cheated on. But then he likes to be all up in arms about how his friend married a woman who cheated on him multiple times. My dad's like, I wanna pour into my kids but then makes no effort, and when we spent time with him, we had to initiate it. He doesn't do the hey you wanna . . . stuff. But he has his own company, and they can't get any work right now, so he spends most of his time at home. And then says I'm just to tired to spend time with ya'll.
My mom was sick to the point of being half passed out in a drive-thru after taking my brother to karate and having to pick up dinner. I would've offered to drive him if I could. I'm still leaning, and I'm bad at staying in one lane. But my dad was really busy on his PS5 with his made-up football team. So busy he couldn't take my brother to karate nor could he pause his game to get dinner. I'm kinda starting to hate him. He's also done a couple of other things, but that's what recently has made me mad. But I don't feel like I have a right to be mad because he's here and a lot of my friends dad aren't, and he's not physically abusive like my best friends dad is. I just don't know how I should feel. Is everyone's dad like this?
Edit: It's mothers day and he couldn't be bothered to get the food, pick up the groceries, nothing. #1Dad guys."
​
So is it truly a horrible go no contact at eighteen situation, a be watchful situation, or is it fine? I know some of this stuff is a lot but some of it was also in a moment of extreme emotion. Remember like I said in the beginning they're not always like this.

My wife and I made our annual Hersheypark visit this past Saturday to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary. Hershey, the park and the town in general, have become a very special place to us, and we wanted to spend the weekend in town. We stopped out at the park Friday night for an hour during the preview, but we just walked around due to the rain. Still fun to see everything.
Saturday, the forecast changed drastically, as it was supposed to rain all day, until about Thursday, when it changed to being mostly cloudy until the evening, so the park ended up being pretty packed, and we had a really nice period of blue skies and sunshine. We bought Fast Track Unlimited so that we could make the most out of our day at the park, and it turned out to be a great investment, as most rides had at least an hour long wait. After arriving at around 12:30, we rode 9 rides by 6:00, when they started to shut things down due to the rain moving in.
Candymonium (x2) - Honestly, I have no idea why this ride gets so much criticism. I always hear that it's because of the trims and the short layout. But honestly, it doesn't matter, because Candy is such a great ride! We had 2 rides, both in the back row of the Twizzlers train, and it was awesome. The first drop deserves more recognition, because you are floating from the second you drop, until you reach the valley between the two hills. It gives such great floater air throughout, and the banked drop after the first helix (my favorite element on the ride) is so much fun.
Skyrush - So, the big news maker of the offseason. I love Skyrush! I liked the old restraints, and I didn't find them uncomfortable, but I understand why a lot of people had complaints. First off, the new station, with the lighting and sound effects, is great. They did a fantastic job. That lift never gets old. It's such a thrill being yanked from the station to the crest of the lift hill so fast, and that first drop is just absolutely bonkers. There are 2 things that I noticed. 1.) The ride seems a lot more rattly this year. It's not unpleasant, and it didn't make me enjoy the ride less. It's just very, very noticeable. 2.) The new restraints take away a lot of the intensity. The laterals are a lot more muted, and the overall insanity seems a lot more scaled back, which is a shame. I still love it, it's such a crazy ride, but it did drop slightly in my rankings.
Fahrenheit - Why doesn't this ride get talked about more? It's such a good ride, but it gets lost in a very, very stacked coaster lineup. That lift is a cool experience, the drop gives great airtime, and the inversions, though they are right after one another, don't feel like they're too much too quick. It was flying through the course on Saturday (which Fahrenheit isn't the only coaster that was doing that Saturday). It's so good, and deserves a lot more love.
Great Bear - My shocker of the weekend. I love Great Bear, it's my second favorite invert, but WOW was it moving on Saturday. This was probably the best ride I've had on it. I accidentally took one of the plus sized seats, and didn't realize it until I fastened the belts, and there was a lot of room, and it made a huge difference. The pre-drop is so good, and when it's flying through that helix, oh man. I had no idea where we were on the course because it was just hauling. I was getting crazy hangtime, and the head banging was almost non-existent. Just a fantastic ride!
SooperDooperLooper - First, I want to say that Hersheypark's app was way off on the wait time. It was reading a 1 hour 15 minute wait, and when we got in the Fast Track line, which you don't skip a whole lot of the standby line for this one, there weren't a whole lot of people behind us, and we waited about 10-15 minutes. It was probably more of a 30 minute wait than 75. Anyhow, Looper is great. For being in its 50s, with a perfectly round loop, it is so smooth, and so fun. Always a great time riding Looper!
Wildcat's Revenge (x2) - Where to begin? I rode WR once last year and loved it, but ranked it behind Skyrush, but didn't ride both of them last year. I rode this twice by myself, once in row 7, once in row 10. If there's a tier above elite, Wildcat's Revenge belongs there. This ride is so out of its mind insane, it's unbelievable. Absolutely relentless from the time you leave the station until you pull into the brake run. I love how it varies from airtime to inversion to airtime to inversion, and so one, so that it's giving you something different instead of repeating the same thing over and over. This thing hauls, and the pacing is phenomenal. I love when you get to the middle of the ride, and everything happens so quickly. It has a completely out of control feel to it. The station is a vibe, the ops are quick. This is a perfect ride, and it jumped Skyrush in my rankings.
We also grabbed a late ride on the Monorail in the rain before heading to The Chocolatier for dinner. The ops were hit or miss. The ones on Fahrenheit and Wildcat's Revenge were flying. Skyrush and Candymonium were stacking big time. Didn't get on Storm Runner because it was running one train with a listed wait of 45 minutes, but I overheard a few kids say that they were waiting for their friends, and they were still in line over an hour and a half later, and Fast Track doesn't skip much of the line on Storm Runner. While watching it while waiting for my wife to get off Remix, the dispatches were probably about 5 minutes.
Overall, it was a outstanding trip to our favorite park! The rides were running extremely well, and it was a great way to celebrate our anniversary, Hersheypark Happily!

What real life political, economic, societal, military, governance, leadership backbiting, or other issues that have brought down real governments and nation states do you think would ultimately lead to the fall of Gilead?
I think that their focus on isolationism, naturally less productive organic agriculture not meeting the needs of a growing population, and the lack of technology and manufacturing in agricultural production means relying ever increasingly on an aging workforce that can not meet the production levels of mechanized food production. It also means that should they return to machinery as older workers can no longer keep up with demand, there will not be the skills or equipment needed to make the necessary repairs- due to their isolationist ideals and basically pissing off the rest of the world, they’re going to have a hard time finding farm equipment overseas
And while theyre currently pro vaccines, it’s inevitable that the religious zealots will push for no vaccines. STD’s are also never discussed- syphilis, chlamydia, gonorrhea- all need antibiotics, new emergent disease variants require new vaccines to be developed, agricultural strains that are resistant to the new climate and disease strains of the post war world, and the means of development and production of all of which won’t exist after they’ve destroyed higher education institutions, invariably killed all of the research scientists who used feral stem cell lines, and all of those who were educated under the pre war systems will eventually die.
If the series scenes showing the schools and children gathered in homes and public spaces is reflective of the the gender gap in new births, Gilead’s new generation of children has a very skewed ratio of female to male infants being born, so even if the decision is made to provide the boys with higher education in Gilead with an old fashioned apprenticeship and fellow style interning with older educated professionals, based on the gender gap shown, there will simply not be enough young men to fill all the necessary rolls in society that Gilead reserves exclusively for men- leadership, military, medicine and the sciences, homeland security, police and fire, construction and the maintenance trades, architecture and development, food merchants and food chain movement, butchers, warehouse staff, delivery drivers, manufacturing, etc.
Older Women, specifically the Martha’s, seem to be the majority of the hard on the body farming labor and environmental toxic clean up- meaning that the aging female workforce producing the majority of the food as well as working toward increasing available tillable acreage are going to be physically unable to work or dead in short order. The middle generation of younger women are still possibly fertile- but they’re being sent to the colonies to die rather than being sent to agricultural areas to work. The kidnapped children all seem to be have given to commanders and upper class families, meaning it’s unlikely they will age into those farming rolls. It’s a bottleneck with defined expiration date.
Also, other than handmaids and fertile women-there are no other desirable exports for Gilead to offer other nations for food and needed goods, and it’s likely that there would be many nations who would have zero interest in returning to the slave trade, especially sex trafficking and forced pregnancies, and practically speaking, some nations’ would be opposed to interracial births and diluting their gene pools.
And I suspect Gilead, and likely all of the world’s Islamic, Atheist, Catholic, Non-denominational, and Jewish nation states would be mutually opposed to engaging in trade or cultural exchanges due to Gilead’s heretical religious beliefs and the persecution, executions, and unlawful seizing of property from the religious brothers in what is now Gilead during the war, as well as the impossibility of open borders with a nation still executing citizens for their religious beliefs. (Btw- any idea what denomination Gilead is most likely to be?)

"Good evening, tributes, and welcome back to the stories of Panem. Before we begin, I would like to thank Christian Blanco, the original writer of "Tales of the Hunger Games," and Lauren from "Panem Reborn." Now, since I don't have too much else to say, let's go!
Game 114 (150):
District 1: Jacqueline and Facet
District 2: Malona and Crane
District 3: Darlene and Colt
District 4: Brook and Harbor
District 5: Unknown girl and Darian
District 6: Fifi and Atlas
District 7: Bloom and Amarylio
District 8: Scarlet and Carter
District 9: Zest and Mazin
District 10: Zulu and Mateo
District 11: Unknown girl and Lee
District 12: Dorothy and Hargree
District 14: Both unknown
A plethora of excitement crossed the capital over the past year, especially their beloved commentator Camilia Ravenstil's pregnancy, which resulted in her giving birth to twins named Amelia and Cyrus, to honor the past two Game Makers. Even Winnow's victory was still in high popularity.
As the reapings rolled around on July 4th, many of the capital citizens flew to their TVs and viewing parties. Winnow made her journey from district to district with her mother and entourage from the capital. When she landed in District 4 on the late morning of the third day of the reapings, she was greeted by Mayor Chigwell. After a rather long tour of the district's harbors and jewelry stores, they stopped at a nearby seaside diner for a brief lunch. Viewers in Snow Square laughed at Winnow's face of pure boredom as Mayor Chigwell ranted about the latest trends in the district's fashion. Winnow's face soon turned to relief as the mayor brought her back to the district's reaping square.
After a little bit of time, the light blue-catered youths were walked into the square by rather impatient Peacekeepers. Mayor Chigwell finished up his speech before welcoming Winnow to the stage. She gave out a rather tired smile at the district's population before talking about the joys of being a victor. She then asked if any of the girls wanted to volunteer. After hearing no response, she then took out the name of 17-year-old Brook Branachok.
Brook was found in the back of the 17-year-old section. Her platinum blonde hair made her quite noticeable to viewers in Snow Square. She sighed dramatically before flipping her blonde hair back in a dramatic manner as her piercing blue eyes even made some of her nearby peers shudder in fear as Brook arrived at the stage and shook Winnow's hand. "She was later described as a 'rich high school bully' by commentators. The girls in a mood," Winnow laughed before shaking Brook’s hand before walking to the male reaping bowl. After a brief silence, she thrusted her hand elbow-deep before taking out the name of 17-year-old Harbor Zanders. A brief pause soon followed by a discussion as a boy with dark brown curly hair with a smattering of light brown freckles on his face gave a guilt-ridden smile before walking up to the stage. However, as a group of teens his age giggled, Harbor turned back and glared at the giggling boys as they suddenly grew quiet. Harbor soon took out a flask of wine. Capital citizens laughed as Harbor found one of his friends and tossed it to him before walking back up to the stage. Back in the capital, both Camilia and Silca and even most of the audience had been surprised at the pair's striking attitudes.
Harbor then shook Brook and Winnow’s hand before they were announced as this year's tributes for District 4 before moderate applause followed. Winnow soon brought the two tributes to the drawing room before she made her journey to District 3 with her entourage.
Brook was visited by her mother, father, and four younger sisters clinging dearly onto their sister. After successfully removing her sobbing siblings, Brook’s mother calmed her daughter down as her father, Coral, gave the best advice he could offer. Peacekeepers soon came in to bring Brook to the waiting dock. She waved and said she’d "At least try to win."
As for Harbor, he was visited by his mother, father, and his younger and older brothers. As his siblings were saddened as well as his parents, Harbor embraced them all in a tight hug. Before he was needed at the dock, his girlfriend Melanie even joined in this hug causing Harbor to show some emotion.
After a few more minutes, peacekeepers soon brought Harbor out of the room to join Brook at the dock as the pair boarded the jet boat to the capital.
"Man, you've been through the ringer, haven't you?"
"Same goes to you, girl. Haven't seen you in a year."
The pair soon chatted with each other about their experiences at the academy and gossiping about old friends. Brook, in particular, laughed hysterically when Harbor mentioned how his ex-girlfriend got karma returned to her when she crashed a birthday party at Harbor’s dad's bar, resulting in the peacekeepers putting her in the district's jail for a month.
However, as the pair tried to dine upon the food provided, the boat hit a bump resulting in Brook, Harbor, four avoxes, the dining table, and nine peacekeepers to go flying up into the sky. Thankfully, no harm came between the fifteen as the peacekeepers then helped the two back up as a new lunch buffet was arrived. And so did their mentor, Sienna Shoreville, victor of the 105th Hunger Games, arrived in.
"I don't want you two to ally with the 2s, maybe the 1s, depends on how they are."
Brook looked curiously at Sienna before saying, "Didn't Anamaria get her neck snapped by the girl a year prior?"
Sienna groaned in annoyance at remembering this cringeworthy death before walking to the bar carriage before inviting the two to join. As Sienna asked the pair about their lives, she laughed while listening to Harbor telling some stories of working at his dad's bar and the customers who would frequent the place. However, when Sienna asked Brook about her life and possible skills, Brook sighed before saying, "I guess looking pretty’s a skill."
Sienna laughed before replying, "For getting sponsors, yes, but not when you're in a fight to the death."
As this reality check wiped the smile from Brook’s face, she and Harbor finished up their meals before listening more to Sienna’s lecture about the games. And as an act to see if her tributes were actually paying attention, she quizzed them on the dos and don'ts in the capital. As Harbor passed this quiz, Sienna laughed before allowing him some "Capital Goodies." However, as Brook blatantly failed the quiz, she laughed and called Harbor a "suck-up" before walking to her room.
Sienna looked at Harbor for a second before saying, "I guess she’s either related to the mayor or is a spoiled rotten brat."
"She usually brags about her rich family members, always thinks she's better than everyone."
"And trust me, the girl ain't pretty."
Sienna and Snow Square laughed as she then patted him on the back before""telling him to get a 'nap' in before they were to arrive in the capital."
He nodded before Brook returned. It is unknown what the two girls talked about for the remainder of the trip, but our historians have noted that Brook’s scowl from before had dissolved for the time being. As evening rolled around, the pair from District 4's boat landed at Mcaine dock as an excited crowd of capital citizens swarmed the pair from 4 and their very popular mentor, who had been giving out her new jewelry to some of her lucky fans.
Brook and Harbor performed rather well, with the capital citizens enjoying their "feisty sailor attitudes." Even some reporters from Golden 24 put up a most popular tribute poll with Harbor and Brook being in the top 3, narrowly beating Fifi from District 6.
Sienna then thanked the capital for their time before taking her tributes to the limousine. Once it arrived at the accommodation tower, they arrived at the 4th floor. After arriving, Sienna called their stylist, Orivile Cartwright.
Orivile embraced Sienna before showing his tributes his pre-made outfits, which were Sailor themed, which made Brook and Harbor smile. Due to them having a fair amount of time left, Sienna displayed the post-reaping commentaries before turning on the commentary for District 1 as Orivile worked away at the pairs' outfits.
Mayor Cassino greeted a very exhausted Winnow Fraiser. Also accompanying the mayor was Realm Jones, victor of the 101st Hunger Games, and Quintin Mahoney, victor of the 108th Hunger Games, joined Winnow on the initial tour. Winnow appeared to be star-struck sitting between both iconic victors. She even turned around to Quintin saying, "I can't believe I get to meet a legend like you."
Quintin laughed before giving Winnow some comic relief during the tour, telling her about his games and even asking a few questions about her own games. At the conclusion of the tour, Realm's eyes lit up in delight as he saw his own capital mentor, Narcissa Valentions, warmly embracing her mentee.
"So what're you doing here?"
"I had some time off. I figured I'd come by and see how you've been doing. Business at my shop has been bustling as ever, so I figured I’d take a break to see my first victor."
As Realm and Narcissa soon walked over to the talent demonstrations together, Quintin laughed as Mayor Cassino welcomed the scarlet youths. Winnow was then brought up to the stage. She asked if any of the youths wanted to volunteer, becoming surprised when 10 ladies and 8 gentlemen volunteered for the role of tribute for District 1. Silca joked with Camilia, saying, "It's normal for them, isn't it?"
With the ladies' many remarkable weapon displays and archery displays, 18-year-old Jacqueline Faywether had been announced as the final volunteer to try her luck. She smiled at many nearby cameras as even one enthralled boy in the audience fainted seeing the rather extractive career girl.
She shot 10 arrows blindfolded and threw 8 knives in the letter J form, causing even more ripples of laughter sounded in the square. The mayor announced the two passing tributes. As for the two tributes, Jacqueline’s only remaining opponent, Jewel, had almost won the title of female tribute but had a stroke leading to Jacqueline to win the title of female tributes.
As for the guys, 18-year-old Facet Elixithorn had made himself a crowd and capital favorite by his spear-throwing display and to ending in a handstand with wild applause following. Three guys made it to the debate round with Realm this time asking the questions. With poise and dignity, Lance’s strong mind and less nerves had won him the title of male tribute for District 1.
After the pair were bathed and stylized, they were then brought out to the square as they then shook Winnow’s hand before she announced Jacqueline and Facet were announced as the tributes for District 1.
And after a brief meeting with their families and friends with not too much emotion, Jacqueline and Facet were then brought to the train as the train began their journey to the capital.
Narcissa, Realm, and Quintin then greeted their tributes with Jacqueline and Facet being surprised seeing their district's first victor’s mentor. Quintin soon brought the four to the table having a brief dinner with Narcissa asking the two if they had any skills besides their ‘weapons of choice.’ Quintin was pleased to hear of Jacqueline's diverse skills of weaponry before bragging to her district partner about her achievements at the Kobayashi self-defense center. However, instead of being jealous, Facet asked his district partner about her accomplishments.
Realm and Quintin were pleased with their tributes getting along with each other before showing the past reapings in the districts. Facet and Jacqueline laughed hysterically at the District 2 reaping games even Narcissa let out a smile. Quintin then asked the pair if there had been “Other commendable allies besides the non-dazzling loonies from 2 besides Jade and Hermina, they are dazzling.” Realm also chimed in adding that they should “Look for others.”
However, as Jacqueline was going to ask why Realm shushed her and said, “The career pack has their on and off years.” Jacqueline nodded before Quintin continued talking to the pair about the past reapings. Facet and Jacqueline even suggested the girl from 3 and the pair from 4 as potential allies. Realm appeared to consider this before Quintin added in that “He would see what he could do.”
As the pair nodded, the pair from 1’s train arrived in the outskirts of the capital. Narcissa soon styled the pair up, quietly complaining to Realm of how Jacqueline's red hair and Facet's long blonde curls were impossible to tame. The train then arrived in the capital with the usual excited capital crowd marveling scarlet couture. Jacqueline and Facet were both outstanding hits with the capital citizens maintaining proper etiquette. However, two capital lights had to be removed from the audience after heckling Facet about his district partner. Narcissa then wished Jacqueline and Facet luck before kissing Realm and Quintin on the cheek. Realm and Quintin then thanked the capital citizens for their time before bringing the pair from 1 to the limousine as it brought them to their accommodation tower.
Once they arrived at their accommodation tower apartment, they were greeted by their stylist, Aurelia Heavensbee. She smiled at the four of them before whisking them to the dining table showing them her designs for the parade. Jacqueline in particular was marveling at her long ruby dress as Facet jokingly told Jacqueline that they looked like a “walking jewel.” However, Aurelia frowned as Realm glared at Facet as the smile was wiped from his face. The pair then groaned in annoyance at their stylist's bland outfits.
Before the pair were then brought to the parade moments later, Facet and Jacqueline were immediately approached by Malona and Crane, both from 2 introducing themselves. However, Facet cut the pair off from further words, saying, “the career pack is gonna be different this year.” As Malona protested, Jacqueline said, ‘thanks but no thanks.” Both Jade Heath and Herminia Gold looked at the District 1 mentors in bewilderment as they also reciprocated. However, the pair from 1 then came over to the pair from 4 chatting with their mentor.
“Darling, you look stunning.”
“Oh, thank you, you dazzling ruby.”
Brook and Jacqueline seemed to obtain an instant connection. As Facet complemented Harbor’s outfit. Harbor smiled good-naturedly back before chatting away with him about lives in their districts. Facet soon asked the pair if they would be interested in an alliance in the arena; however, Sienna leaned in this conversation asking “Where are the 2s?”
Jacqueline then replied that they were “trying something new this year” before pointing at the pair making fun of Mateo from 10’s cow-themed parade outfit. Sienna shrugged as Brook and Harbor warmly accepted the offer as Facet and Jacqueline smiled saying “splendid see you soon.” When the pair from 1 got back, Realm popped up asking “You with the 4s this year.” As the pair nodded, Realm smiled and nodded with Quintin and Aurelia doing their touch-ups to their tributes' outfits. Sienna commended the pair for “making friends already,” she still urged caution before re-adding in “The 2 mentors there are my ride or dies but still keep your eyes on them if needed.”
The pair then nodded as the parade then began. Regal applause and cheers sounded for the pair from 1, but Nico Anderson lead editor of Anderson Fashion applauded for their strong impression but said the dress was “So Basic.” The pair from 4 were given a large amount of applause as Harbor and Brook waved at the audience even performing an old dance known as a “Jig”. The pair were also given a boatload of flowers and chocolate resulting in both Brook and Harbor sneezing uncontrollably at the end of the parade during President Mcaine's speech. Best dressed was ultimately awarded to the pair from 4 with their sailor-themed couture.
When the pair from 1 arrived back in their district apartment, they were glaring daggers from afar at Aurelia,
“How did it go.”
“How did it feel getting harshly criticized on live TV.”
Quintin shot Jacqueline a disapproving look as Realm asked if there other worthy allies. Both mentors were pleased hearing their success with the pair from 4 before Realm reassured them that they still looked “dazzling” before sending his tributes to bed. However, with the pair from 4, Sienna warmly embraced the two of her tributes on a best-dressed win. As Orville also joined in the group hug has the 4 of them partied till around 11:30 pm until Sienna sent her tributes to bed as she and Orville stayed up a while longer.
Bright and early the following morning, the mentors ushered their tributes to the training center with a very frustrated Apollo Price. Unfortunately, during his speech about the rules of the training center, he tasered Mateo from 10 after he tried to make a break for the door after Price’s speech concluded. Mateo’s mentor Bianca Jr Ramon rolled her eyes before dropping her mentee at the knife station.
The newly made career alliance between the District 1 and 4 tributes conquered most of the training stations with Facet and Harbor bonding over dropping and throwing large weights causing Fifi from 6 to wet herself earning a smirk from the boys. When Mateo awoke from his unconscious slumber, he immediately ran to Mateo asking him to spare. Since Mateo was no older than 14 and he was the youngest tribute the careers laughed before Facet told him to “Buzz off”. However, as Mateo continued to pester the career boys, Harbor gave Facet a knowing look before accepting Mateo’s sparing request.
A short crowd of tributes went to the jousting stations as Mateo and Harbor were briefed on the rules before being allowed to go at it. It was no surprise that Harbor won all 4 rounds.
“Easy”.
Harbor smiled warmly before being tackled to the ground by the 14-year-old boy from 10.
“You think you're better than me HA you rotten career boy.”
As Price Facet Brook and even Sienna tried to step in Harbor held his hand up to stay back. Harbor then threw the boy off him before pinching the nerve on Mateo’s neck knocking him clean out. As training master Price and Sienna looked at him in bewilderment before Price smiled saying
“Good job kid”.
Harbor smiled before Facet and he returned to the weight station and survival, knife and axe stations even giving advice to Amarylio from 7 with starting fires.
As for the girls they mainly gossiped to themselves and having “Girl talk” at the aquatic station sword station and archery stations. When any tribute tried to use the archery station both Jacqueline and Brook would melodicaly but fiercely slam there weapons into the targtes.
At the end of the traing head master price brought the tributes to the asscors room. Due to the request of the new head game maker the tributes assesment scores were kept strictly confidential. However tabloid reporters manage to scoop out that Jacqueline Facet Harbor and Malona from to managed to score at the top of the pack with a 11. Brook and Amarylio scored a 9 and at the bottom of the pack was Mateo and Hargree from 12 scoring a 3 each.
Both Sienna Quintin and Realm were beyond impressed with there tributes scores before they’re stylist sketched up potential outfits with there mentors soon quizing the pairs on interview educate.
Camilia Ravenstil welcomed the excited capital audience modeling a rather gothic dress that made her look like a ghost tree by the audience. The audience even laughed good naturedly as Camilia shook for a second as leaves fell of her costume as if wind had hit her. She then exictedly welcomed Jacqueline from 1. She was adorned in a stunning pink and red dress with her hair put up in braids. The two had some gossip before reavling to the audience that she was a decdent of Emarld Rivelta victor of the 34th hunher games. Camilia slapped her knee and laughed saying “Thats who you resmbl I guessed right I knew it!”
As the girls chatted the audience loved her regal responses to Camilas questions as even mentoning the carrer alliance brought the crowd into rapsous cheers,even when she talked about her allies from 4 openly. She then kissed Camilia on the hand before bowing which caused even more cheers before she was dismissed back stage. Facet was welcomed in next marveling a sleeveless pink suit with ruby jeans making many of the capital audience to swoon over his physeigue. Even Camilia was taken aback by his charm and confidence as he spoke about his training experience and the strength of his alliance with Jacqueline. His witty remarks and easygoing demeanor captivated the audience, earning him loud applause and admiration.
Later on into the night brook was welcomed in next with wild cheers and wolf whistles sounding. With her hair being dyed a pure yellow with a light brown dress resembling sand following her. She proceeded to have the same amount of banter with Camilia as Jacqueline did however Camilia cut her off as she was finshing up talking about her dads money saying “Honey this is the hunger games.”
“Yeah and Ill live how I like before the games.”
As a few jeers sounded the rest of her interview was rather dull the only light being Camilia shooing the “Regina George” of the stage. As Camila then called Harbor loud cheers sounded again as Harbor walked on to the stage with his curly black hair and brown eyes making him quite attrauctive to many even his pirate themed coustume became an over night sensation with many fashion designers stating that they wanted this fashionable suit.
As Camilia asked Harbor about the games becoming pleased with his short but sweet responses. Even cracking some good jokes about the other competitors mainly about Bloom from 7 and Mateo from 10 . To conclude Harbor’s inteviwed he tossed his waist coat to teh crowd as an excited gagle of captial ladies clammered for this waist coat. As his interview ended on a high. Finaly after the interview of the boy from 14 the new head game maker Natellia Swan was welcomed to the stage. Head game maker swan was adorned in a regal black gown also sporting garish make up making her resmble more of ghost then human. After introducing herself to the excited capital audience Camila smiled before shaking her hand saying that “Game maker swan has alot to accept from.” She laughed before giving hint out to teh audience by pointing to both of the laides dresses. Curious osund sof inteirgue soon followed as game maker swan smiled and bowed as she then left the stage as Camilia then ended the interviews there. The next morning tributes were given a breif breakefst before being brought to the arena’s holding room.
This years outfits consisted of black coats with black jeans and snakers with there distristicts nymbers stickered on the back of there coats. Realm visited Facet before reminding him to stick with Jacqueline and Harbor and Brook. However before Realm finished Facet replied “That girl Brook might be problem.” Realm nodded and agreed before reminding him to keep an eye on her before shaking his hand as he went into his tube. Jacqueline was visited by Quintin the pair had a similar conversation as Realm did with Facet before Jacqueline embraced Quintin and thanked him joking “District 1 needs more ladys.” Quintin laughed before hugging her back before walking Jacqueline to her tube. As for Brook she was not visited by Sienna nor Orvilve a fact that suprised her the most but shrugged before patiently puting her hair up in a bun and waiting for the tribute call to sound. As for Harbor Sienna visted him. She embacred Harbor before reminding him to “ Keep an eye on all of them.”
Harbor smiled before thanking Sienna for her mentor ship before Sienna walked Harbor to his tube his tube and at mid day the podiums then arose into the arena.
Arena Ghosty lake Game 114

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91 Hours After the First Round of Interloper Interrogations. UNAFS Perseverance. Hangar Bay.
Evina
The stage was set, and my game face was on. It had to be, especially with what Vir had concocted over the course of his sleepless night.
The realization that AI didn’t exactly… sleep, was something I’d expected. But I’d at least thought the sleepless downtime would be used for something remotely related to downtime, something like maintenance, server repairs, or just anything at least remotely related to a decrease in productivity if only to relax.
I certainly wasn’t expecting that downtime to result in the creation of a literal sci-fi arsenal that now sat there, waiting for me just in front of the shuttle.
“A gift, Evina.” The AI spoke, gesturing to what could only be described as a small procession of bots, carts, and self-navigating cargo containers; all of which kept Eslan’s curiosities at a constant all-time high as he walked around the collection of bots, his eyes enamored by every little detail of each and every one of them.
But it was what was inside and within the containers that sat atop of those autonomous machines which was what I was really interested in. Moreover, it was a particular outfit currently sitting there on top of a felinor mannequin that really drew most of my attention.
Though the term outfit would definitely be underselling it. As what was being offered to me now was something that could no longer be found anywhere else on the continent, save for the odd military bunker and of course, the books and iterative memories belonging to that of the pre-war world.
To put it simply, it resembled advanced police armor, or maybe even military. Though its sleek design, metal pieces, and thinner silhouette put me in mind more of the former than the latter.
More to the point, it seemed to be capable of being fitted atop of my regular gear, instead of requiring me to swap it out entirely; consisting of three distinct pieces that resembled a pair of pants, a jacket, and a helmet.
I took a moment to stare at it intently, analyzing every last detail of it, from its space-age aesthetics of shiny plastics to matte metal chrome, to its soft interior that seemed to be gel-lined with some weird jelly-like fluid.
Moreover, I seized the moment to tease Eslan, as I turned towards him, then Vir, in rapid succession. “I’m assuming the gift isn’t for Eslan, right?” I snickered, prompting the smaller felinor to pout in a fit of resentful jealousy.
“I can arrange one for him if you’d like.” The AI responded casually, as if hinting at the fact that this wasn’t a one-off project, that this wasn’t just something pulled from storage and simply tailored down to my size.
“Let me guess, you have an entire factory deep within the ship somewhere?” I asked, half sarcastic, and half serious, knowing full well the answer could go either way given the track record of everything else on the ship I’d seen so far.
“Right on the money there, Evina.” Vir responded with an electronic chirp, prompting me to re-evaluate both the ship’s unfathomable capabilities, and the two dorks that were in charge of it all.
Nevertheless, it would seem as if Eslan was excited by the prospect, as he began pulling the armor pieces off of the mannequin, examining the finer details before handing them off for me to wear.
“I’m assuming the gel-like internal padding is a sort of passive heat regulator?” The felinor asked.
“Yes, but more than that, it acts as a layer of thermal insulation against energy-based attacks that manage to penetrate the ceramo-reflective plating lining the outside of the armor. This version’s passive since I don’t think you’ll be encountering anything like that on the surface but…” The AI shrugged ominously. “It’s lightweight, comfy, and there’s also ballistic-weave and kinetic-resistant properties embedded in the fabric. Along with some kinetic resistance that’ll help stop projectiles in their tracks if they penetrate the outer layers and somehow manage to make it through to the gel. Think non-newtonian fluid.” The AI’s platform shrugged. “Anyways, I thought it’d be a good, light-weight, adaptable, no-frills all rounder you could keep even after the mission’s end.” The AI explained, prompting me to more or less double-down on my re-evaluation of its seemingly conflicting personality matrix.
Vir was… complicated. In a good way. Seemingly practical, level-headed, tactical, and terrifyingly efficient on one hand, but also very much personable, surprisingly relatable, and most reassuring of all… self-reflective to the point of empathy and benevolence.
My first iteration was practically working overdrive trying to make heads or tails of him.
But my current mind was simply occupied with getting the armor on, which was more or less straightforward.
It was, surprisingly, lightweight. Like wearing a trimmed-down flak jacket that hugged and tightened to your form. The pants were the same story, which only left the helmet that I was hesitant to try on given its roundish shape and tight squeeze.
I examined it, looking inside as I noticed two little indents marking the recesses where my ears could actually comfortably fit.
“I’ve taken the liberty of creating a few modifications to the human baseline design in order to accommodate for your alien anatomy. I learned this the hard way when Lysara first donned a human helmet. It was… not fun, to say the very least.” The AI managed out with a nervous chuckle.
The idea of Lysara’s frills being squished inside a round helmet with no room for that sensitive looking extension of his head sent shivers up my spine. But then again, this made me even more curious as to just what these humans looked like if they lacked frills, ears, or anything else adorning their heads.
“I’m guessing the human-baseline must be really boring then.” I managed out unexpectedly, garnering a cock of the AI’s head. “You know what I mean right? What with having just a round space to shove their heads into. No frills, ears, or anything.”
“Ah, well, I can definitely see where you’re coming from with that.” Vir chuckled in response. “But honestly their appearance is not a big secret or anything. I can just pull up a-”
“Ah! Good morning, Evina!” Lysara announced brightly, cutting Vir off mid sentence as he jumped down from the shuttle and back onto the hangar bay proper. “I’ve been doing some final checks just to make sure we’re ready to go. Sorry I didn’t come out to greet you earlier.” The alien paused just before reaching me however, as he looked me up and down, then smiled. “I see Vir has been up to his usual work.”
“Seems so.” I shrugged. “In any case, I’m feeling more ready than I was just a few minutes ago, which I didn’t think was even possible, so thanks, Vir.” I gave Vir another nod of appreciation, before turning back to Lysara. “We're good to go, then?”
“As ready as ever.” Lysara responded promptly, surprising me with his register slowly shifting more towards something normal, rather than being entirely pulled from a university thesaurus.
Maybe I was starting to rub off of whatever translation software he was using.
“In any case, I don’t think I’ll be using your toys for the time being, Vir.” I gestured towards the rows upon rows of black and chrome weapons alike. Most of them resembled somewhat traditional looking firearms, whilst others were more or less pulled from the pages of science fiction, what with their tapered ‘muzzles’, and raygun-looking grips. “And it’s that I don’t trust that they could do some damage. It’s just a safer bet if I went with what I know. It’s better to use a gun you’ve trained and lived with, than a new one you’ve just messed around with the night prior.” I smiled, more or less alluding to the small escapade the AI and I went on for a short hour after the dinner. “Though I do thank you kindly for the ammo for my revolver, I’d say it’ll be helpful but… I’d rather not say anything at all until we get to our destination.”
The AI responded with a simple sharp dip of his head. “Chemically-derived combustion sluggers are always a solid choice. I wish you all the best, and I hope you don’t end up having to use that gun. I’ll make sure my boys take good care of you and Lysara.”
With a final exchange of nods, Lysara and I strode off and into the shuttle.
But just as we reached the precipice, I turned back, if only to give Eslan a reassuring hug. “I’ll be back sooner than you expect. So don’t get bored now.” I offered, prompting the smaller felinor to grin widely.
“Oh don’t you worry about getting bored.” He gestured to the space around him. “I probably won’t even be done with this room by the time you’re back.”
“Just make sure to save some mysteries for me. Oh, and Vir?” I turned to Vir for a moment, garnering a small cock of his head.
“Yes, Evina?”
“Do make sure that you tire him out some with your explanations. I’d rather come back to a quiet bedroom to pass out in, rather than one with an excitable Eslan ready to chew my ear out with his latest discoveries on the ship’s deep lore.” I jokingly ordered, prompting Eslan to give me his signature side-eye.
Following a dumb smile of my own signaling our temporary goodbyes, I soon found myself back within the bowels of the shuttle. Except this time, the backramp cargo bay seemed to be chock-full of those heavy-duty combat bots I caught glimpses of back in the forests.
In fact, every corner of the shuttle’s cargo bay seemed to be crammed to the brim with one or another form of combat drone. From flying drones, to clusters of those smaller insect-drones, to what looked to be oversized spiders ready to drop from the ceiling at a moment’s notice.
The whole space seemed to be decked out for combat.
Which gave me a lot of confidence about the outcome of this mission.
Lysara and I didn’t say much as we both made our way towards the cockpit, strapped into our respective seats, and began the nausea-inducing flight out of the ship’s hangar bay, and down towards the planet.
A whole minute passed in absolute silence as I tried to steady myself for what was to come.
“So, let’s go over a few of the key details for this mission.” Lysara suddenly broke the silence, bringing up a top-down map of the forests, with the facility in question highlighted in orange. “We’re going to be landing in a clearing made by Vir.” The map shifted, highlighting a very conspicuous open clearing of trees and a charred forest floor that made it very clear something big had happened here very recently.
If I’d seen that place from the ground? I’d have probably cited that aliens did it.
Which, ironically, would’ve been more on the money than I could’ve ever thought possible.
“From there, we march through the open clearing made by Vir, with drones taking point, up and towards the facility.” The map shifted once more, highlighting yet another clearing that more or less formed a clean path towards the entrance of the bunker. “From there, I assume you know your role?”
“Yup, if my prior iterations come through on this one, I’ll open the facility door, and from there… We head inside, and see what’s what.” I responded.
“The drones will make the first move, we’ll have two squads proceed inside and ascertain if it’s safe to enter. After confirming that all hazards are within a tolerable margin of safety, we’ll proceed.”
“Understood.” I acknowledged with a heavy sigh, my eyes trained on the continent that now took up most of our cockpit view.
“Whatever happens, I know for a fact we’ll be safe as long as we play it safe.” Lysara tried filling the silence with his own brand of reassurance.
“I know. But it’s not so much the physical dangers I’m worried about.” I managed out, before pausing, as my eyes once more strayed towards the top-down view of the mission map. “It’s what we’re going to find inside the facility that worries me.”
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(Author’s Note: Evina gets a cool new outfit for her mission, Eslan is promised an entire day of having his sci fi interests satiated, and we're now on our way with Lysara down towards the signal station! The next chapter is already out on Patreon as well if you want to check it out!)
[If you guys want to help support me and these stories, here's my ko-fi ! And my Patreon for early chapter releases (Chapter 96 of this story is already out on there!)]

If you live with a picky eater, guess what? You're a picky eater now too. Because what are you gonna do, cook a dinner that you know the other person won't eat? No, every meal has to cater to the picky eater, which means the non-picky eater has to live on chicken nuggets and plain cheese pizza whether they want to or not.
There are about five things that my wife eats. Unless I buy and cook two dinners, dinner every night is one of those five things. And I'm so fucking sick of those five things! I'd love to whip up some salmon patties or something for dinner one night. But the spouse won't eat fish under any circumstances, so I haven't had salmon patties in ten years.
I'm just so sick of plain cheese pizza. If I never see a plain cheese pizza again, it'll be too soon.

Hello! First time posting here.
I've been playing MyVegas for years, but I've never paid to level up to have a rep/host help with redemptions. I currently have 3M+ gold and a 97B bankroll and after redeeming the current rewards for years, I'm starting to ponder what my rewards could look like, if I'm comfortable spending the gold for it.
​
For those of you who have 1M+ gold and are looking for new ways to spend it, has it been worthwhile having a host help you with custom redemptions? Are there any you are open to sharing what they were and how much it cost?
Redemptions that currently interest me are rooms at Aria for a Friday and Saturday (compared to current S-Th), show tickets to events like Gaga or Bruno or dinner credit that's $100+ at sit-down non-buffet restaurants.
Anything you can share for turn around times, how much you paid to level up, and if you were happy with your options (and what they were) would be greatly appreciated!

Has anyone run into anything like this? (... and if so, any words of wisdom?)

2024-05-14T16:40:16Z esxupdate: 2101361: downloader: WARNING: Download failed: ('http://vCenter.mars.local:9084/vum/repository/hostupdate/vmw/vmw-ESXi-7.0.0-metadata.zip', '/tmp/tmpfw0ylxfw', 'Incomplete download from http://vCenter.mars.local:9084/vum/repository/hostupdate/vmw/vmw-ESXi-7.0.0-metadata.zip, received 197057 bytes, expecting 297656 bytes'), 4 retry left... 2024-05-14T16:40:24Z esxupdate: 2101361: downloader: WARNING: Download failed: ('http://vCenter.mars.local:9084/vum/repository/hostupdate/vmw/vmw-ESXi-7.0.0-metadata.zip', '/tmp/tmpfw0ylxfw', 'Incomplete download from http://vCenter.mars.local:9084/vum/repository/hostupdate/vmw/vmw-ESXi-7.0.0-metadata.zip, received 209477 bytes, expecting 297656 bytes'), 3 retry left... 2024-05-14T16:40:31Z esxupdate: 2101361: downloader: WARNING: Download failed: ('http://vCenter.mars.local:9084/vum/repository/hostupdate/vmw/vmw-ESXi-7.0.0-metadata.zip', '/tmp/tmpfw0ylxfw', 'Incomplete download from http://vCenter.mars.local:9084/vum/repository/hostupdate/vmw/vmw-ESXi-7.0.0-metadata.zip, received 90797 bytes, expecting 297656 bytes'), 2 retry left... 2024-05-14T16:40:38Z esxupdate: 2101361: downloader: WARNING: Download failed: ('http://vCenter.mars.local:9084/vum/repository/hostupdate/vmw/vmw-ESXi-7.0.0-metadata.zip', '/tmp/tmpfw0ylxfw', 'Incomplete download from http://vCenter.mars.local:9084/vum/repository/hostupdate/vmw/vmw-ESXi-7.0.0-metadata.zip, received 229376 bytes, expecting 297656 bytes'), 1 retry left... 

... followed by:

2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: An esxupdate error exception was caught: 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: Traceback (most recent call last): 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: File "/lib64/python3.8/site-packages/vmware/esximage/Downloader.py", line 359, in _getfromurl 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: self._retry(self._download_to_file, self.options['retry']) 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: File "/lib64/python3.8/site-packages/vmware/esximage/Downloader.py", line 224, in _retry 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: _checkRetry(retry, retries, e) 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: File "/lib64/python3.8/site-packages/vmware/esximage/Downloader.py", line 208, in _checkRetry 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: raise exception 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: File "/lib64/python3.8/site-packages/vmware/esximage/Downloader.py", line 214, in _retry 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: return func() 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: File "/lib64/python3.8/site-packages/vmware/esximage/Downloader.py", line 344, in _download_to_file 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: doDownload(robj, fobj) 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: File "/lib64/python3.8/site-packages/vmware/esximage/Downloader.py", line 325, in doDownload 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: raise DownloaderError(self.url, self.local, 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: vmware.esximage.Downloader.DownloaderError: ('http://vCenter.mars.local:9084/vum/repository/hostupdate/vmw/vmw-ESXi-7.0.0-metadata.zip', '/tmp/tmpfw0ylxfw', 'Incomplete download from http://vCenter.mars.local:9084/vum/repository/hostupdate/vmw/vmw-ESXi-7.0.0-metadata.zip, received 232937 bytes, expecting 297656 bytes') 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: During handling of the above exception, another exception occurred: 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: Traceback (most recent call last): 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: File "/lib64/python3.8/site-packages/vmware/esximage/Transaction.py", line 91, in DownloadMetadatas 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: mfile = d.Get() 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: File "/lib64/python3.8/site-packages/vmware/esximage/Downloader.py", line 460, in Get 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: return self._getfromurl() 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: File "/lib64/python3.8/site-packages/vmware/esximage/Downloader.py", line 361, in _getfromurl 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: raise DownloaderError(self.url, self.local, str(e)) 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: vmware.esximage.Downloader.DownloaderError: ('http://vCenter.mars.local:9084/vum/repository/hostupdate/vmw/vmw-ESXi-7.0.0-metadata.zip', '/tmp/tmpfw0ylxfw', "('http://vCenter.mars.local:9084/vum/repository/hostupdate/vmw/vmw-ESXi-7.0.0-metadata.zip', '/tmp/tmpfw0ylxfw', 'Incomplete download from http://vCenter.mars.local:9084/vum/repository/hostupdate/vmw/vmw-ESXi-7.0.0-metadata.zip, received 232937 bytes, expecting 297656 bytes')") 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: During handling of the above exception, another exception occurred: 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: Traceback (most recent call last): 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: File "/ussbin/esxupdate", line 222, in main 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: cmd.Run() 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: File "/lib64/python3.8/site-packages/vmware/esx5update/Cmdline.py", line 107, in Run 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: File "/lib64/python3.8/site-packages/vmware/esximage/Transaction.py", line 93, in DownloadMetadatas 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: raise Errors.MetadataDownloadError(metaUrl, None, str(e)) 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: ERROR: vmware.esximage.Errors.MetadataDownloadError: ('http://vCenter.mars.local:9084/vum/repository/hostupdate/vmw/vmw-ESXi-7.0.0-metadata.zip', None, '(\'http://vCenter.mars.local:9084/vum/repository/hostupdate/vmw/vmw-ESXi-7.0.0-metadata.zip\', \'/tmp/tmpfw0ylxfw\', "(\'http://vCenter.mars.local:9084/vum/repository/hostupdate/vmw/vmw-ESXi-7.0.0-metadata.zip\', \'/tmp/tmpfw0ylxfw\', \'Incomplete download from http://vCenter.mars.local:9084/vum/repository/hostupdate/vmw/vmw-ESXi-7.0.0-metadata.zip, received 232937 bytes, expecting 297656 bytes\')")') 2024-05-14T16:40:44Z esxupdate: 2101361: esxupdate: DEBUG: <<< 

Overall, can't reliably patch, stage, or check compliance on some of our remote ESXis connected to vCenter via Meraki site-to-site VPNs.
A bit more context:

• this is happening when trying to update an ESXi 7.0u3 via vCenter 7
• the errors happen when doing staging, remediation, compliance checks
• we have about 40 of these remote ESXis; some more affected than others
• those "Download failed" ... "received bytes, expecting bytes" seem to happen randomly on different files each time. Hitting "remediate" button 20-30 times may eventually push the update through - but I feel like a madman doing this... (There gotta be a better way?)
• critical and security patches - can be done manually, via zipped depot updates and esxcli - but the "non-critical" ones don't seem to be available via those depots...
• we use site-to-site Meraki VPN with MX64 and MX100 appliances
• the VPN uses dual load-balanced uplinks at each site with graceful failover
• we also have a lot of other site-to-site VPN traffic between the network where vCenter is located, and remote sites - yet we see no failures or retries with any other traffic
• no errors or warnings anywhere in Meraki event logs...
• some sites are better than others: some get patched w/o retries, some may take days to push updates through

I am stumped... :)
Been fighting this for over a year now.
Any ideas?
Thanks!

+++ TRANSMISSION BEGIN +++
Attention, brothers and sisters of the Imperium! I hail from the frontlines of the digital battlefield, bearing news of both triumph and tribulation. By the Emperor's grace, I have managed to coerce the ancient mechanisms of the Omnissiah to run dedicated servers for our beloved Warhammer 40,000: Dark Nexus Arena. Yet, amidst the echoing void of cyberspace, I find myself stranded, unable to decipher the arcane rites necessary to awaken these servers from their slumber.
As a loyal servant of the Imperium, I implore any amongst you who wield the knowledge of Unity, the sacred language of the Machine God, to heed my call. Together, let us rally our forces and breathe life once more into this forgotten gem of the digital realm. With your expertise, we may yet see Dark Nexus Arena rise from the ashes like a phoenix, ready to reclaim its rightful place among the stars.
In the name of the Emperor and the Holy Omnissiah, I beseech thee: lend me your wisdom, your guidance, and your expertise. Let us forge a path towards victory, not only for ourselves but for all who hold the banner of Warhammer 40,000 aloft in their hearts.
For the Imperium! For the Omnissiah! For the glory of Mankind!
+++ TRANSMISSION END +++
May the Emperor guide us, and the Omnissiah watch over our endeavors.
non warhammer version
I Managed to Get the App to run dedicated servers for Warhammer 40K Dark Nexus Arena But I can't figure out how to get them to work to run a server I need someone Who has knowledge on unity to help me, so that maybe we can revive this game.

Me @ 15yrs: introduced to this 30 year old male by a mutual acquaintance. Had no friends, therefore he became my best friend. Treated me to dinner, gifts, days out, holidays.
6 months into the friendship - I was pressured to model for him. Eventually in the nude.
Me @ 17yrs: I get my first boyfriend. My 'best friend' decided to teach my sexual acts. I felt uncomfortable but couldn't say no as he'd done so much for me.
Roughly 6-8 months later - relationship with boyfriend ended but sexual acts continued with best friend.
Me @ 18yrs - avoided him as much as possible as he made me uncomfortable. Saw him about one a month as felt bad for making excuses but to see him.
Me @ 20yrs - get a girlfriend
Me @ 21yrs- abuser offers me a job with amazing pay, minimal day/hours. Required to stay overnight at his house once a week. At this point, abuse intensifies, all while having a girlfriend who I was to ashamed to tell.
Over the next two years, he used his mental health as an excuse saying it'll make him happy, saying it'll be the last time, blocking my exit, keeping all his videos and pictures of me locked in a suitcase on a USB.
Me @ 23yrs - quit working with him and cut off all contract.
Me @ 25yrs - marry my girlfriend.
The above events led to years of disassociating. The following years, I had lots of CBT, antidepressants and anti anxiety meds. Therapy did not help. Meds made me feel like a zombie. Cured myself with mindfulness and quiting the job I was doing that was associated with him.
Despite no longer being depressed, anxious or sad, I'm still riddled with guilt. Feeling like I've allowed it to happen. My sex drive is mostly non existant but I can masturbate fine.

My husband (33M) and I (28F) are currently facing a challenging period in our relationship. After a year of marriage and cohabitation, he has made the decision to relocate to another state. We originally met in that state (California) and dated for a few months (we were friends first and were dating other people, no cheating just eventually happened) before I moved to Michigan to pursue my career goals. I secured a job with an annual income of approximately $200,000. He followed me to Michigan, and we eventually married. It was an elopment because I'm catholic and I always wanted to be married before living with anyone.We spent months ring shopping before the elopment but we never had an engagement.We just decided to elope so no one knows. We wanted to wait to eventually have more money do a proper ceremony and engagement. etc. I always dreamed of having a family and moving back to California to settle down. I dont see Michigan as my home,I was just looking for a better future for us.We always had the same goals and come from very similar backgrounds, except his family is dysfunctional and mine isnt.
It's important to note that he has experienced significant financial setbacks this year due to inflation/the economy and the loss of his business. I provided him with support in various ways, including financially and emotionally, and even helped him secure a job at my company. (He didnt like it so he got fired) However, he became increasingly depressed over time and refused to share his financial situation with me or accept my assistance. He expressed dissatisfaction with our current location, citing a lack of activity and friends, despite having only two close friends in California who live with their significant others , arealways traveling therfore he would be alone a lot of the time.
Initially, he suggested a long-distance relationship, but his lack of commitment and concrete plans made me hesitant. Without a clear indication of his intentions or a timeline for our reunion, I find it difficult to maintain hope for our relationship. I dont know when I'll see him again and if I ask he just says he doesnt know anything, that right now he is focusing on taking care of his debt ($60,000)and regaining his life as a man.
He has since admitted that he may not have been fully prepared for the responsibilities of marriage and feels the need to stabilize his finances before committing to a relationship, let alone a wife. Note that I'm very independent and never have asked him for money. Not for a single thing, just that he pays half of the rent. When he couldnt make it, I still helped him and covered ALL expenses. Our entire year here I stood by him, i didnt pressure him for nice things even though I miss them and I personally could afford them. Going to dinners, going to the movies, having drinks with friends, etc that was non existent. Maybe three times in the entire year we did that. We spent the entire year at the house on the couch watching movies and eating fast food. I didnt care, I knew this was temporary and that he was my husband, for better or worse. I felt bad leaving the house without him to do anything, so I never did it. I also didnt want to sponsor EVRYTHING in his life, that didnt feel right as a woman and my tradiotional outlook on relationships. In the beginning I was extremely resentful because I thought he didn't love me enough to do anything with me or take care of me, but eventually through therapy and being more patient and seeing his perspective, I realized he was just depressed and couldnt cope, so his financial life was going down the drain and it wasnt about me. Or so I thought.
We always had a plan to move back together because I see myself living there full time and settling, but at this time I had zero job prospects there. The maximum I could get was $48k with benefits and given that he doesnt have the capacity to provide (at least now or at least for me ), it seems stupid to leave my job and my security blanket. I worked really hard in my career whereas he only has jobs, not a career per se. Im more than willing to prioritize a family over career but I need security in the main pillars : love and finances. I always felt like he loved me but now I'm doubting everything.
He has expressed a desire to return to California and is moving in two weeks, where he feels more at home, despite the uncertainty of job prospects for him there. If he lost his business and all his income(he works for himself) while being in Michigan, what makes him think that wont happen in California? He is moving with his dad at first , while dad is on vacation for a month, suposedly to get back on his feet but I dont know how true this is. This is the last thing he said to me about the topic. Later I find out he was cashing some of his invesments to move but didnt hear it from him; I accidentaly read it on an email. Maybe this is how he is moving there?
This sudden upheaval has left me scrambling to adjust, as I cannot afford our current apartment on my own and I just lost the life we had together and most importantly OUR DOG. We were a little family. I have 5 days to move to a new apartment.Despite my efforts to support him, he remains distant and uncertain about our future together, particularly since I began packing so quickly in response to my impending move. I had to start moving things along as I only have 5 DAYS to restructure my life. He commented that he thought this process would be easier and that seeing me crying everyday makes it hard to continue hurting me and the relationship and that hes unsure of the future because he has nothing to offer me right now.
I'm left wondering if there's any hope for our relationship and if he will ever be willing to communicate with me again. I understand his frustration and depression, but I struggle to comprehend why he would give up on our relationship when I have consistently stood by him. Why can't he be honest or straightforward? I understand moving for a job , but he doesnt have that and I could understand dealign with his mental health, but why abandon me?
Is there a chance for us to reconcile, or should I accept that it may be time to let go?
Do I give him time to process this? Im just confused and he wont talk to me. Apparently, in two weeks, I'll have a new life and I don't even know if im single or if he plans on being single? Do I wait for him?
Any straight males reading this, please advice. What should I do? What is going through his head, what can I do? Will he reach out once he is there?
Im spiriling, so welpp!

Travel Diary: I make $195,000 and spent $2149.75 (+49k points) while on a trip to Amsterdam
Section One: Bio
Age: 40
Occupation: Lawyer
Hometown: DC
Number of PTO days and how you accrue them: I earn 6 hours of annual leave every two weeks (19 days total a year), and used 36 hours for this trip
Section Two: Assets + Debt
Not super comfortable with a very detailed financial picture, but my NW is ~$750k. No SO.
Section Three: Income
Main Job Monthly Take Home: After all deductions and contributions to savings, my monthly take home is ~$6200
Section Four: Travel Expenses/Diary
Trip planning - My (40F) best friend from college (39F) and I decide to go to Amsterdam on a birthday trip. We both turn 40 in 2024, and we decide to go in May because it's in between our birthdays and because it'll be tulip season in Amsterdam! Neither of us have been. We also haven't travelled together before, despite being friends for 20(!) years, so we are a little apprehensive, although we have spent a lot of time together over the past few years. We decide on a 6 day trip. For purposes of this diary I'm going to list my half of the expenses for things we split. Costs are in US dollars, despite paying using Euros. As a side note, I also am a little over one year post-Gastric Bypass, which has a limited effect on my diet (I try to eat low carb, but you'll see that I mostly fail at this on this trip!).
Pre-trip expenses: $1193.15 total
Flight: $255 + 49k points (from Capital One)
Lodging: $1425.91 (split) - $713
Rijksmuseum: $40.28
Anne Frank House: $24.95
Keukenhof Gardens plus bus ticket: $36.20
Red Light District Tour: $50.52
Day trip to windmills tour: $43.20
Snacks: $30ish
Day 1 (Total $21.17)
Our flight is at 5:30pm, so we planned to be at the airport by 3:30pm, which actually turned out to be 4pm. Uber ($21.17). After checking bags (included in flight price) and getting through security we made it to our gate right as boarding was about to start. No time for food or drinks.
On the plane I eat a snack of roasted chickpeas before dinner, which was chicken cacciatore with mashed potatoes, bread, cheesecake, cheese, and a salad. And two glasses of wine. I save the cheesecake and cheese for later.
My friend and I watch a movie (Poor Things) and then try to sleep. I am reading A Fault In Our Stars, because Amsterdam. I try unsuccessfully to sleep for awhile and then go back to reading. At some point i eat the cheese and cheesecake. Breakfast is a cheese roll, which i eat a couple bites of (OMG does all of Amsterdam have this much cheese?? - spoiler alert… yes it does!). I wish I had slept more.
Day 2 - Even though it feels like a continuation of day one. (Total $207.02)
7am - We land at 7 and then grab the bags and go through customs. Easy peasy. We are exhausted so we grab coffee at the airport before figuring out public transit ($5.10). I take out 60 euro for cash in case we need it ($65). We buy a train ticket to the central station ($6.33) and when we get there we buy a four day unlimited public transit pass ($28.44) so that we don’t have to worry about it later.
We get to the hotel at around 9am. They tell us it will cost $50 to check in early, which we opt not to do. Instead we go get breakfast and coffee at a cafe nearby ($21.20). The hotel tells us that our prepaid amount did not include city taxes, which is another $183 (my half $91.88).
11:30am - Back at the room we decide to rest for 90 minutes. Enough to catch up on sleep but not to waste the day and get more jet-lagged. After a rest we decide to walk around and get a feel for the neighborhood and do some shopping. We find a bookstore, and I buy a copy of my favorite book from high school, Tess of the D’Ubervilles with a beautiful cover and gold edges ($21.46). We also buy fries with truffle, mayo, and Parmesan at a fry shop ($3.32) (that’s all they have and they are delicious!). We also stop a grocery store and pick up a few things including yogurt, cheese, salami, apples, and an energy drink ($13.19). We have some early days planned and nothing seems to open early. It’s very cold and rainy and semi unpleasant.
6pm - We drop stuff off, bundle up, and head off to dinner and a tour of the red light district. We try to find a place that serves Snert, a Dutch pea soup, but strike out. We end up at an Asian place instead. I get chicken satay and a beer and my friend gets Indonesian soup and wine ($16.10). Our red light tour is great, but we are exhausted after and head straight home to bed. 22k steps total
Day 3 (Total $87.24)
7:30am - We have an early day planned, and have to be on a bus near the central station by 8am. I eat a yogurt and energy drink (from grocery store) for breakfast and we take public transit (covered on unlimited card) to the station. We find the right bus and head off!
First stop is the windmills, which are beautiful! I am happy we get there early because we basically have the place to ourselves. My friend gets a coffee and we both use the restroom ($1.08!). Then we head to Edam and do a walking tour there. Next stop is a clog/cheese place, which feels very touristy but they do feed us lots of cheese. I buy a cheese slicer as a souvenir ($10.81). Next stop is another small town where we have lunch at a cafe. We basically pick one at random. My friend gets fried fish and I get a ham and cheese panini and a beer ($17.30). Final stop is an artificial island town called Maarken. We do another walking tour.
2:30pm - we arrive back in Amsterdam and get let off north of the water. I grab a coffee ($3.76). We go up to the Adam lookout and take a ride on the swing off the side of the building ($25.95 for swing plus ticket to lookout). We also grab a drink and sit on a pillow watching the city from very high up, which is lovely ($6.63). On the way out I buy a reusable water bottle at the gift shop ($4.87).
After the lookout we take the tram over to a brewery at a windmill that was recommended to us by several people (including here on Reddit!). Cost was covered by the transit pass. We buy bitterballen and a small bottle of Genever (local whiskey) (paid by my friend) and a flight of beer ($16.84). We are a bit tipsy but enjoying the lovely weather.
6:30 - On the way back toward the hotel the weather turns and it starts raining so we dip into a pub for dinner. I have a burger ($16.12). We are there at 8pm, which is momentous because it’s a day of remembrance and the whole bar is silent for two minutes. It was very interesting to be there during this time.
We are exhausted by this point and go home to bed. 19k steps total for the day.
Day 4 (Total $104.33)
7am - Another early day as we have to be on a bus at 7:30 to go to Keukenhof for the tulips! (paid in advance). We wanted to take the first bus out there because we heard the crowds were bad. I eat a yogurt for breakfast and take a 5 hour energy (no cafes open this early!). We try to take public transit to the train station but didn’t realize that the trains do not run that early on a Sunday so we grab an Uber instead ($12.20). We tell the Uber driver we’re trying to catch a bus so he makes sure we find the right place and we pull up just as the bus is loading. Phew!
8:00am - we spend 5 hours in the gardens and take literally hundreds of pictures. We are glad that we get there early as the first few hours are lovely and empty. We get a coffee ($4.60) and lunch later ($25.36). By 1pm it’s getting very crowded so we start heading out. We grab the bus back to the train station.
2:30pm - We decide to go by the Rijksmuseum although not in it because we planning that later. Instead we stop off at the Van Gogh/Rijks gift shop that’s nearby. I get a couple souvenirs, including a foldable bag and a magnet ($20.44). I also get a coffee ($3.64) and my friend gets bubble tea. We sit on the hill on museumplein and people watch. After awhile it starts to get hot (we had dressed for the early morning) so we head back to the hotel to change.
5pm - we decide we are having an evening of drinking. We first grab a drink in the hotel bar because we get free vouchers for each day we choose not to have the room cleaned. Then we have dinner at an udon place, which is delicious. We have tempura, chicken katsu, and dumplings ($15.94). Then because it’s cinco de mayo we decide to have margaritas at the Mexican place near the hotel ($15.15)! Not Dutch but it’s fun. We head down the street to another bar and have a Genever cocktail called an Amsterdam mule ($9.91). I am happy with our choice of hotel because there are so many places in our neighborhood. On the way home we pass a fresh stroopwaffle place and must get in line for one ($5.92).
By then we are exhausted and head to bed. 21k steps total for the day.
Day 5 (Total $80.44)
8am - We have a slightly less early day but have tickets to the Anne Frank house at 9:15. (paid in advance). I eat some yogurt and cheese in the room before we leave. It’s walkable so we decide to head out early and grab coffee on the way. ($3.19). The house is sombering but I’m glad we did it.
11am - After the Anne Frank house we walk to the nearby cheese museum. We sample lots of cheese. I buy one cheese to take home ($15.18). We want to walk to a used bookstore, but decide to have lunch at a cafe on the way. We pick one at random. We split chicken tenders and a goat cheese and apple sandwich and I have a beer. ($15.14). The sandwich is one of the best things we have eaten. We spend about an hour in the bookstore and my friend buys one book.
3pm - We realize we are by the monkey bar (one of the oldest bars in Amsterdam that they told us about on our red light district tour). We stop in for a drink. Ok two drinks. ($12.50). We take the metro back towards the hotel and stop in at a tile store in our neighborhood so I can buy a magnet. I buy magnets from all my trips, but I like non-touristy handmade ones if I can find them, Van Gogh magnet from yesterday aside. I buy one with a windmill on it. ($14). We also stop at the grocery store for more yogurt ($3.05) and for Dutch apple pie at the cafe across the street from the hotel ($4). We get back to the hotel and have another free drink and then rest before dinner.
8pm - We go out to a Dutch restaurant for dinner. I am not super hungry from pie so I just get the snert (pea soup). My friend gets sauerkraut and potatoes. Sorry, but I thought it was pretty bland food in general. ($13.38).
We head home. It’s a lighter day, only 14k steps today.
Day 6 (Total $194.47)
8am - Today is our last full day in Amsterdam. We have planned to spend the day at the Rijksmuseum. We want to get there right when it opens for crowd reasons. We had bought “friend of the museum” passes ahead of time so that we can skip the line. I have a yogurt for breakfast and we walk to a cafe near the museum for coffee and breakfast for my friend ($3.78). The man at the cafe is very nice and we love sitting outside in the sunshine. It’s going to be a warm day!
We spend about 5 hours at the museum. We rush to see the Van goghs and the main gallery where the Rembrandts are, including The Night Watch, which is probably one of the most famous paintings in there. We had downloaded the app so we shared a pair of earbuds and listened to audio notes about many of the works (they have a number you can enter in). We take a break outside for coffee ($7.29 - i pay) and skip the line again. Totally worth it for the more expensive ticket. Around 2 we are hungry and have seen almost everything. We stop in the gift shop and I buy a ring and earring set. ($64.76). I forget to use my 10% discount for being a friend. :( I wanted a necklace too but didn’t like the ones they had there so I’ll try to find a matching piece at home.
2pm - My friend has been trying to get herring for the whole trip so we make it a point to do that. The first place is a bust so we find a little stand that sells it a 15 min walk away. We are determined, so we head there. I don’t eat fish so I get a shawarma on the way, which is terrible (cash). I throw half away. After lunch we get ice cream. I get coffee ice cream, and it makes up for the bad shawarma ($6). We also stop at the peanut butter store, which is allegedly the first in the world, and I pick up 3 small jars for my mom for Mother’s Day ($8.11). We also stop at a thrift store and i buy a dress ($21.59). At some point this day (I think), we also stop at another bookstore, and I buy a few things including a card, a couple gifts, and a book ($39.71).
6pm - After resting a bit, we get two more free drinks at the hotel and then head out to dinner. We pick another Asian place. I get an aperol spritz at dinner and we share appetizers (satay, spring rolls, and bitterballen). We also get coconut ice cream with mango sauce for dessert. All yum! ($33.03).
We get one final drink at a local bar near the hotel ($10.20) and I’m again grateful for our choice of neighborhood. Today has been all walking because our 4-day metro pass ran out yesterday. Total steps 13k.
Day 7 (Total $36.93)
8am - this our last day. The plane was supposed to leave at 1:30pm, but we get a message that it’s delayed an hour. We decide to have a leisurely breakfast. We pick a place that’s at a hotel near our hotel. I get an egg sandwich and my friend gets French toast. We both get coffee. ($15.27)
We decide to leave for the airport around 11. We walk to the central station about 20 min away, and I buy wooden tulips for my mom on the way (cash). We buy train tickets (cash) and get right on a train. We are proud of ourselves for our navigation on this trip.
12pm - we get to the airport and through security. We head to a lounge but there’s a line. We are 40th in line based on our QR code place. We decide not to wait and sit down for lunch at a random bar. I get a sausage and a beer ($20.66). We walk around some and get another message that our flight is delayed more, to 4pm. It’s finally our turn to get into the lounge at 2:30 (2 1/2 hour wait) so we go. I grab some water and a whiskey and coke but we just ate so we are not hungry. Around 3 we head to the gate. Unfortunately when we get there our flight is delayed more and will board at 4. They give us airport vouchers so we buy a book, beer, and some stroopwaffles ($1 after vouchers). We finally board and head off around 5.
On the flight we are served dinner. They have run out of chicken by the time they get to me, but eventually find one and bring it to me later. I have a wine too. I read, watch a movie, and try to sleep a little. We have a whole row of four to ourselves so we can spread out. Dinner is a French bread pizza.
8pm - We land around 7pm (love time zone math!), grab our bags, and get a taxi to my car ($27.09). I drop off my friend and get home at 8:30. I am exhausted but cuddle my cats for about an hour before going to bed. 15k steps today
After trip expenses - $225 cat sitting
Total expenses: $2149.75 (+49k points)
Flight: $255 + 49k points
Lodging: $804.88
Food/drinks: $531.38
Travel: $101.56
Activities: $221.10
Souvenirs/gifts: $ 231.93
Final parting thoughts - I think just over $2k for an almost-week long trip to Europe is a pretty comfortable number for me. I am glad I could use points for most of the flight. We definitely didn't try to cheap out on anything. We spent a lot of money drinking (neither of us drink this much usually). I hope this was helpful to anyone, and I look forward to reactions/comments!

I'll explain why and how the fight started. Please tell me if I am in the wrong or if I should apologise and get back together.
The story:
I took a break from working for like a couple months. Since I am "free", my partner wants me to spend time with them mostly and wants all my attention. We have been going out for almost a year now.
So, we hang out for like 8 hours a day (my partner works from home). Once I get back home, they will facetime me after dinner and we talk until we sleep. But I don't get to do anything I want to.
They usually don't like me spending time with my friends. We have gotten into a lot of arguments cuz I'm on call with my friends while they try to call.
The actual conflict:
My friend had her birthday a week ago. I don't hang out with my friends that often cuz I am always with my partner. So, my friends made this birthday party plan a month prior to get everyone on board. This plan wasn't even a full day plan. It was like a half day plan and we'd get home in the evening.
When we go out with friends, we usually don't know what we're gonna do. We make plans as we go. So, We didn't make a detailed plan. We just knew we're going to the beach. That's it.
So, I told my partner about this and they were okay. But on the day I was supposed to go to the party, they started asking me questions about where we are going, what we'll be doing and everything.
Them asking questions was not a problem for me. I answered everything. But they felt as if I did not want to share that information to them and that's why I didn't tell them myself.
When I told them we don't know what we'd be doing, they were like, "you just don't wanna share it with me. It's fine. You made the plan anyway right?". I did not make the plan. And when I tried to prove it to them that we did not have a solid plan that day. They did not even want to hear me out.
My partner clearly did not want me to go. So, I texted the birthday girl that I won't be joining them. She understood that my partner is that way.
Meanwhile, my partner and I started screaming at each other. One thing led to another and finally when they said "dont cancel your plans for me, go, be with your awesome friends".
I got fed up. My friends have been with me for over 10 years. They understand what type of situation I'm in. You still pull their leg in our fight?
I just told them "my friends are awesome whether you like it or not". That's it. They slammed a chair against the wall.
I was frustrated and was done with this shit. I just told them that we're breaking up and left.
I did not know where to go. I wanted to cry. My parents were at my home. I haven't told them about my partner. So, I called my friend and asked if could come over
She was getting ready to go out. I went there, cried for more than an hour. And my friend said "look, you have been crying for so long. They haven't tried to call or text you at all. They blocked you on insta. Enough is enough. Come with us"
So, I went with them to the beach. Meanwhile, my partner started calling me. I was with the friends of the birthday girl. So, I didn't answer the call cuz I know my partner would scream at me. And I was not ready for that call infront of strangers.
They kept calling me non stop and when I finally answered. They told me they were waiting outside my house. When I told them I came with my friends they started yelling, screaming, cursing.
I took my stance and told them it's over. But they still kept calling and told me that they are the only one fighting for this relationship. They started to self harm themselves and that made me leave my friends and book a cab to their place.
Even while I was on the cab they still called me names. Asked me not to come. They said " took you long enough to leave your awesome friends and look at me"
After a while I couldn't take it anymore and i just went straight home.
Then, they got even angry and pulled up outside my house. Remember, my parents came to visit. So, they were Standing outside. I asked them to come in and have a convo, they refused. My mom and dad came out and invited them in. They still refused.
They told me, "you went out to the beach with your friends right? I want you to come to the beach with me right now". (P.s. it was 10pm at the time)
I didn't go. And it made them even mad. They started cussing and said I prioritise my friends over them.
This fight happened for about 30 mins before they left. Then we didn't speak for a while.
After few days, we made up. They told me that I don't love them enough and constantly compared me to their ex's.
Yesterday, they found an insta reel that my friend posted of that day in the beach. I didn't tell them about it cuz I didn't want to start a fight again. We both knew that this topic brought conflict. My partner saw the reel and said "I was miserable that day and you had fun???"
I was miserable that day too. The girls at the party who I barely knew also were asking me if something was wrong or if they could help. I actually ruined their party. I was crying. Always on the phone with my partner cuz they kept on calling.
But my partner now thinks I have betrayed them while they stayed loyal cuz they've never been loyal to any of their ex's. They tell me I have never been grateful of them. That I was enjoying while they were miserable trying to hurt themself.
I did try to have a conversation about this. But they won't understand my side of the story.
And when I told them I can't keep coming to their place every single day cuz I need to take care of some stuff. They flip out saying "you be with your family. You be with your awesome friends. Don't ever come to me. Why do you need me anyway"
When I facetimed them today, they faced the camera to the wall and never spoke a word. And finally, they sent a text saying that they will stop everything they did for me. And left a good bye message.
Now, back to the question:
Please tell me if I am in the wrong or if I should apologise and get back together????

Many religious traditions emphasize transcending the ego to achieve spiritual enlightenment, inner peace, or union with the divine. Here are key teachings from various religious leaders and texts that advocate for ego transcendence:

Buddhism

The Dhammapada (Sayings of the Buddha):

"Overcome anger by non-anger; overcome evil by good. Overcome the miser by giving; overcome the liar by truth." (Dhammapada, Chapter 17, Verse 223)

Nagarjuna (Buddhist philosopher):

"When Buddhas don't appear, and their followers are gone, the wisdom of awakening bursts forth by itself."

Hinduism

The Bhagavad Gita:

"When a man gives up all desires that emerge from the mind, and rests contented in the Self by the Self, he is called a man of steady wisdom." (Bhagavad Gita 2:55)

Sri Ramakrishna:

"Ego is like a cloud which keeps God hidden from our sight. Remove the cloud and you will see Him."

Christianity

The Bible:

"For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it." (Matthew 16:25)

Thomas Merton:

"We must be willing to be unknown and counted as nothing in order to understand and accept our own nothingness."

Islam

The Qur'an:

"And those who shun the worship of false gods and turn to Allah, for them are glad tidings. So announce the good tidings to My servants, who listen to the word and follow the best thereof. Those are the ones Allah has guided, and those are people of understanding." (Qur'an 39:17-18)

Rumi (Sufi mystic):

"The ego is a veil between humans and God. In prayer, all are equal."

Judaism

The Talmud:

"Whosoever humbles himself, the Holy One, blessed be He, raises him up; and whosoever exalts himself, the Holy One, blessed be He, humbles him." (Eruvin 13b)

Rabbi Nachman of Breslov:

"The essence of wisdom is to remain silent and let the ego dissolve."

Taoism

Tao Te Ching:

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be." (Tao Te Ching, Chapter 44)

Laozi:

"The sage puts himself last and becomes the first. He is detached thus at one with all. Through selfless action, he attains fulfillment."

Sikhism

Guru Granth Sahib:

"He alone is a yogi, who practices the Divine Yoga of the self, who serves at the Guru's feet, and rises above himself." (Guru Granth Sahib, Ang 1383)

Guru Nanak:

"Ego is a chronic disease, but it contains its own cure as well. If the Lord's grace bestows humility upon us, this wealth, this true capital, then one is cured of ego."

Jainism

Acaranga Sutra:

"One who is free from ego does not harm any living being, does not engage in violence."

Mahavira:

"A man is seated on top of a tree in the midst of a burning forest. He sees all living beings perishing. If he does not jump, he too will burn. Similarly, one who does not transcend the ego will be consumed by the fire of suffering."

Bahá'í Faith

Bahá'u'lláh:

"O Son of Spirit! Vaunt not thyself over the poor, for I lead him on his way and behold thee in thy evil plight and confound thee forevermore." (The Hidden Words)

Conclusion

Across various religions, transcending the ego is a common theme, encouraging humility, selflessness, and spiritual growth. These teachings highlight the universal importance of moving beyond self-centered desires to achieve a deeper connection with the divine and with others.

Hi all,
First, a bit about my denominational history and views. I am not really a part of any denomination. I attended a non-denominational youth group and church all of my teens and 20s. It technically aligned with Assemblies of God, but it was more of a non-denom community church than anything.
That being said, I am baptized in the Holy Spirit and have been for a very long time. I pray in tongues, and have engaged in prophecy and healing (both sided of it). I currently attend a Catch the Fire church that I love which is very active in the gifts of the Spirit.
That all being said, I have also longed recently for more church tradition in my walk. I know there are Charismatic Catholics and there has been a very active revival of the Spirit in the Catholic church over the past decade. But I do not feel comfortable with far too many Catholic beliefs and am just not comfortable enough with Catholicism as a whole.
Eastern Orthodoxy feels just as far off for me. And I can't agree with too much of Lutheran doctrine as well.
I have been recently feeling drawn to looking more into Anglican/Episcopalianisn, HOWEVER, and this is a big however, I am very Conservative and disagree MASSIVELY with the church's politics. I find it very, very disturbing on the endorsement of the LGBT community and such of the church. This turns me away MASSIVELY, despite being otherwise very curious.
Are there any smaller sects of the Anglican church that are truly conservative and speak against all of the very liberal beliefs? Can someone provide me some resources if so?
Thank you!

*Management style:
Not democratic/participative. Not transformational. Not Coaching. Very much Autocratic/Authoritative/Coercive. Sometimes Laissez-faire. Style depends on the department.
*Chain of command:
The ministry is seen as a church by top management. Top management are the “elders” and the CEO is the Senior Pastor. Then there is everybody else. So, confidence is put on their positions of authority. They are, in all sense and purposes, the “spiritual leaders”. They present themselves as having spiritual authority and, therefore, as being entitled to receive immediate agreement and unquestioned compliance.
Also, there are multiple management layers or chains which this quote sums up as well:
"When you become an admiral, you never have bad meals and you never hear the truth. there are all these layers of management and buffer layers and each one is afraid to tell unpleasant truth to the top levels.... “
Not a culture of authenticity where everyone on the team, including management, is encouraged, and expected to be who they are. There is a sense that top management puts up a false front, they seem to want to appear perfect. Illusions of invulnerability exist. They always lead well, they always make the right decisions, they never admit mistakes, etc. Want people to think they got it all together- all rainbows and lollipops. Do not exhibit vulnerability. Toxic positivity is also very much present: Everything is seen as “awesome”. So, there is judgment if you have a bad (not "everything is awesome") day.
The vertical chain of command, results in less collaboration, slow communication, lack of career growth, feelings of subordination, and decreased employee empowerment. Top management sets the rules and standards without any input from the “bottom” employees. Employee questions, concerns or ideas have to go up several steps of the chain of command so that upper management can address or approve. The bottom employees do not have the ability to make decisions related to their work or a particular situation. So, not everyone feels equal.
So, if you are not a spiritual leader, you are just basically told to submit and listen to those who are in authority over you because they are the people that “hear from God” and you are not and so whatever they say goes. And they set up a scenario where they basically kept those of us who were not spiritual leaders dependent upon them.
Many in management are overconfident and overestimate their abilities. They have a simple idea of how things are and how things work. Unfortunately, they make decisions that impact entire departments without gaining the needed knowledge.
The chain of command and lack of ongoing training also results in many employees being promoted so much that they max out their competence and will remain there until they leave or are let go. So, you end up with many in the role of management that lack the training and competence of the respective department. So, employees with the most authority are often not the most experienced and not adept in the particular field leading team members. And employees with the most experience and skills and knowledge and wisdom have the least (or no) authority.
Good leaders don’t always claim the “leader” title. Oftentimes, good leaders are those with more understated temperaments. Leadership is as much about listening as it is about telling. However, people with the most open and receptive personalities often do not have much authority.
Also, how the chain of command should operate when there is a unit that acted without proper authorization, it is not a junior authority who’s going to bear a responsibility for that, but somewhat of more senior status. And that’s true in any military or business or ministry operating by a code of ethics. So, if someone at the bottom of the chain is struggling, failing, or making mistakes, those at the top of the chain bear full responsibility. Everything stands or falls on leadership. Unfortunately, the chain at FCBH is not two directional.
There is also a sense that top management promotes employees who are least-competent but pose no risk to their own position (in-group bias) to management.
*Feedback:
Work environment or culture is not set up for employees to give honest feedback/opinions or to deliver bad news or to question or disagree with management.
Sample bias is also common. Management will send an email asking for feedback but they won't consider how only the people who are open to talking and sharing their opinions will participate while others won’t. Bias arises because employees with specific characteristics (e.g., extroverts) might be more likely to agree to participate than others, making the participants a non-representative sample. People with strong opinions or substantial knowledge about a specific topic may be more willing to give feedback than those without. Management does not follow up to determine why they are unresponsive or follow up frequently to reduce attrition.
Management claims they want to hear from employees, but they only want opinions and ideas on matters that are superficial or trivial. So, few employees give candid feedback on important and significant matters.
Top management does not involve employees in the change process when changes occur.
Management does not ask for honest feedback on their leadership or on decisions that are made that affect employees. Management will not ask how they are doing as leaders, what employees need from them. No regular check-ins or 1:1 on employees’ professional and personal well-being. Are employees stressed, disappointed or feeling burdened physically, emotionally or spiritually? No growth and career discussions.
Management will ignore most feedback, comments, suggestions even when it's common knowledge but will adamantly listen to employees who preface with "God told me to tell you..." Or “I felt God say …” or “God spoke to me and said…”
For example, management started focusing on Gen Z only after a few people claimed that “God told us that Gen Z are important for our future business growth.” In another instance, someone said “God gave us this word: we as a ministry need to really consider how everyone is wired, how each person is different. How people have different personalities.” Then, management affirmed this “word from God.”
If one employee brings something up to management it is often ignored and the employee is gaslighted. If two or more employees bring the same thing to management, then God is communicating something and they take it seriously (per Matt 18). Even if it is just coincidence or frequency bias.
*Groupthink/Conformity:
Groupthink, confirmation bias, in-group bias, illusions of unanimity, and self-censorship is very prevalent in the culture and especially in their meetings. There is a lot of direct pressure to not question, to conform, to agree with the views and personal convictions of the top management. Employees condemn those who disagree or question top management and they accept those who agree, creating immense pressure for conformity.
So, many employees frequently remain quiet, preferring to “keep the peace” rather than disrupt the uniformity. Employees are pressured to hide problematic information (especially from top management).
*Disagreements/Different perspectives:
Top management will also point out the working and living conditions of international employees to “encourage” local employees to not “complain” or give critical feedback or bring up legitimate problems (e.g., fumes or loud noises from construction in the building).
Management also often commits the "ends (or goals or vision) justify the means" fallacy: the work, the production and distribution of bibles (the ends) being done is more important, so employees shouldn't complain at all about the means or their working conditions (broken chairs, broken or inadequate equipment, poor work-life balance, bad management).
And, if management disagrees with you, with your observations, feedback, suggestions, or theology, they will often try to trump you with spirituality or vague meaningless spiritual terminology instead of using Scripture (properly interpreted), facts and reasoning.
In addition, top managers will take great offense when employees question or disagree with the directions and decisions they make. Dissent is not welcomed. Respectful debates/disagreement is not encouraged. Open discussion and alternative perspectives are not encouraged. Management does not value, support, or respect diverse opinions and ideas. They do not actively seek out different viewpoints. Do not allow people to speak their perspective, their thought of mind. So, there is no psychological safety. Employees do not feel comfortable expressing dissenting opinions without fear of retribution or judgment. Afraid of breaking the little glass image. People do not feel comfortable sharing setbacks, mistakes, failures. Management does not encourage open communication. Management often seeks agreement, instead of posing honest questions that challenge the status quo and provoke critical thinking and discussion. They do not encourage employees to challenge them. In fact, they are seen as a type of complaining or critical feedback and so are viewed as sin. This makes top management seem self-centered.
*Appeals to emotion: Guilt and Shame:
Top management often shares their personal opinions and convictions (e.g., spending money only when absolutely necessary, not accepting large gifts, not buying fancy items) as something everyone should do. It’s never direct. It's always through stories. Management loves stories. The personal convictions of management are presented as more than preferences.
For instance, top management encourages extreme frugality and poverty through their personal anecdotes #loudbudgeting and stories from international cultures. Think along the lines of: “we, here in America, have no right to be sad or to complain about things or to request better things or ask for accommodations or for more employee engagement because others (internationals) have it much worse.” Even wanting better equipment and supplies or asking for better working conditions is frowned upon (in some cases seen as a sin), even if your request helps you to do your job more effectively and makes the work better (a new whiteboard, a new office chair, better computers, etc.)
Example: “You should really try to come in to work even if you feel bad, even if you are snowed in and the roads are hazardous because people need to get our bibles. And our international employees work in much harsher conditions.”
You also get this feeling from the way they communicate that top management would rather not pay their employees. They would prefer it if everyone just worked for free because “we are on a mission from God. We are doing the Lord's work.” There is also a sense that employees should be more than willing to sacrifice their well-being, career goals, financial goals, personal goals for reaching people with their Bibles.
Leadership sets the example and expectations, so this all ends up making employees confused and feeling guilty and ashamed. Guilty and shameful about asks, spending money (even their own). Guilty and shameful about having nice things (new car, new phone, new tv), about making needs known, about sharing concerns regarding work, about asking for raises to keep up with cost of living, etc.
Example: An employee has continued to use an old whiteboard. It is so old it is hard to read and difficult to erase. Management likes to tell donors: “We don't spend money on everyday things like whiteboards…. Instead, we use that money for more bible recordings, for people to hear about Jesus.”
This also causes confusion. Every few months there is a meeting where management discusses how sitting on stores of money is bad, but spending it is also bad, but also not spending it is bad... "Being rich is bad. Money is bad. let's not accumulate money, that's bad. We must think about how people will see what we have. So we should look poor and not appear too frivolous." But top management is okay with receiving gifts from donors and other ministries. Management personally does not like to have nice “fancy” things, and as a ministry, they say FCBH should also not have nice fancy things, they should use the money for other more important things. They don't like when other ministries use their money for nice fancy things, but it's okay if other ministries give FCBH nice fancy things like tote bags, key chains, mugs, phone holders, lunch bags. Another example, it took them years to repaint the parking lot. It was at the point where people did not know where to park. Before repainting, management decided to remodel the hallways and install posters and multiple monitors with language stats.
There is also a subtle sense that producing audio and video bibles is the highest calling one can have. And it's implied that FCBH is the main means God uses to fulfill the great commission: “God needs FCBH to do these bible recordings or people (specifically unreached internationals) will go to hell.” So, top management hints that working anywhere else isn't really serving God (or at least, not serving God as well as one could if they worked somewhere else). They imply that working at this ministry is the only way to truly serve God and fulfill your calling. They also use this framing to guilt and shame employees into not quitting. Management implies that employees should not take opportunities to leave or take other jobs because getting the Bible to people is God’s highest calling for us as Christians:
“If anyone leaves FCBH, then they must not really understand the vision/calling. They are not committed to saving people. We should be willing to give up things to fulfill the calling. The apostles did not pursue better jobs and so God will provide if we need better pay, benefits, career. For those of us who join the ministry to hold true to get God's word to every person, it takes discipline because we have opportunities to do other things. I'm sure that Noah had problems with Builders because he probably had hundreds of people not thousands working on the ark. They started their own businesses and started side things going on. pretty soon they'll have no time to work with him on the ark. and you can have all kinds of diversionary things happen. and so we want to understand they focused in the ministry. and that's been one of the things that I've really tried to do is what did God tell me at the time this ministry began because I was not interested in this ministry. I was interested in living by faith and experiencing God through people and seeing people experience God. and when I was praying about that here in Albuquerque the Lord said bring my church together and make disciples. and then he also told me that when his people think the same they are one. so it's not a matter of getting rid of the buildings or the leaders but it's a matter of people thinking the same. They can go to different denominations, different buildings, have different teachers, and different preachers and leaders but once they think the same, they're one and that's what his objective was. and so that's when I felt like the Lord said get God's word to every person. So I'm challenging us to stay true to what God has called us to do. and every time somebody leaves the ministry there are reasons for leaving. but it startles me a little bit, because I think well we haven't, we haven't communicated the vision very well somehow because they didn't get it. like Noah building the arc. it it's a long project it's not a month or a year two years or three years. our immediate goal is 2033 and it means that we're committed to a cause. and that means some of us we give up something. I we've given up stuff we live in a small apartment and that's what we saw that God had us do and that's our lifestyle we we tone down our lifestyle to get the cause committed to the cause. and and I know that's difficult for some, in some cases maybe there's financial needs because of family growth and stuff there they just can't afford to work in the ministry. but sometimes it's a choice and every time somebody leaves it where it's actually a choice. I think we haven't communicated the mission very good the vision very good. I've been looking at is that could you imagine read reading the New Testament. and finding out that Peter about halfway through or Paul halfway through the ministry all of a sudden got a better job offer. and stopped their portion of the ministry they held the course no matter what happened. whether it was good or whether it was bad. Paul talks about this and sometimes we want to follow the Lord. but we don't impart on ourselves the same responsibilities that those disciples did. so when God Empower them is he empowering you in the same way. and you're making choices that maybe you shouldn't make that you will impart and say the Lord is leading me someplace else when in fact maybe it isn't. it's just a better offer. if the Bible in the New Testament was reading a little bit different than Stephen left the ministry at this point or James left the ministry at this point because of something I think we need to be very very careful and why I say that is that as we work internationally.”
SO, there is a lot of guilt and shame about leaving to pursue other interests or meet needs. Guilt and shame about wanting to leave to advance and develop professionally. For this reason, many remain “loyal” and stay at the ministry.
So there is lots of control and manipulation in the work culture.
*Weekly worship meetings:
These are mandatory and there are some legitimate concerns:
Top management seems to have misconceptions about true worship and worship experiences. They often reduce worship to singing by their communication, the way “worship” is used. Worship is seen as something we do on occasion - once a week, when we gather at work for the mandatory worship time. Top management, by ignoring other styles, seems to believe that there is a single style of worship which is correct for Christians.
And it seems like just about anyone can lead worship or be on the team: anyone that can play an instrument. Top management does not require a worship class or agreement to biblical principles concerning worship as a prerequisite for employees who desire to plan and lead worship experiences. So you end up with people who have different views/philosophies on the worship team. Unfortunately, many who lead do not take the time/effort to plan and lead worship experiences, to discern from songs that are better suited for individual or private worship from songs that are corporate or public worship, to discern songs that are controversial/questionable (have bad theology, weak theology), songs that are theologically ambiguous or songs that lean more towards “feminine” attributes. Most, if not all, of our modern “Christian” worship music is written at a simplistic level of understanding and comprehension. Most music tends to appeal to our emotions. Many songs appeal mostly to women. So there is a great need for teaching on the biblical principles concerning worship. Also a need to choose theologically balanced songs with music appropriate for the people. Unfortunately, many of the songs chosen are theologically incorrect (e.g., having elements from the Word Of Faith movement, New Apostolic Church, New Age). Songs are often not theologically balanced. Songs seem to be chosen for their emotional impact, to make employees feel good; many focus on just one aspect of God (e.g., love). Many promote self-centered worship.
Most of the worship leaders just sing the songs: They do not actually “lead” people into worship. They do not help people connect the lyrics of the song to where they are at in their personal life, to teach them something about God or help the people understand what this song means and what God wants them to get out of it, so they're not just singing songs and just doing, going through the motions or help them understand the depth and the richness of what lyrics mean and how it applies to their life. What matters to them seems to be whether songs are impactful, moving, and beautiful. (Whatever that means.) Whether songs make employees feel good. They don't seem to care whether the songs actually reflect truth: Do the lyrics line up with Scripture? Do the songs glorify self or God? How would new Christians or nonChristians interpret the song?
Theology is the study of God and it's very important doxology is an expression of praise to God so the point here is that all theologies should ultimately lead to doxology if theology doesn't lead to doxology then we've actually missed the point of theology so if you have theology without doxology you just have dead hold orthodoxy which is horrible. On the other side you have the people who say “forget about theology I just want to praise.” But if you have doxology without theology you actually have idolatry because it's just a random expression of praise but it's not actually informed by the truth of who God is so God is
concerned with both he's concerned with an accurate understanding of him and that accurate understanding of him leading to a response of praise adoration and worship towards him.
*Leadership quality:
Top management has more respect for donors and guests than their employees.
Management lacks basic core leadership principles/values:
Unfortunately, many employees are not given power or resources: Management just gives them the responsibility to get things done. Before responsibility is given, employees should be equipped: be empowered, have the authority, be given resources and have the experience. Employees are not empowered as individuals to solve their own problems using their own solutions. Micromanagement is often required every time the situation changes or problems arise. Employees are not inspired to act as leaders for themselves, delivering amazing performance without guidance. They have coaching sessions but only when there’s a problem. True coaching occurs regardless of whether the individual is crushing their goals or falling behind. Management does not seem to care about unlocking a person’s potential and getting the most of their performance. They seem only interested in producing more followers, not more leaders.
No method to hold management accountable to core values listed in their own Employee handbook. Employees are expected to abide by the procedures and rules described in the handbook but top management can choose to ignore it when it is convenient for them.
-Top management are NOT learners: No desire to develop and improve their skills.
-They do not ask employees: What’s one thing you see me doing—or failing to do—that you think I should change?
-They do not ask how they are doing as leaders. Or ask employees how they’re doing.
-They do not ask what employees need from management that they are not giving them.
-No performance evaluations for both management or non-managment.
-They often fail to emotionally connect with employees.
-They do not speak to employees' needs first.
-They do not focus on what they can put into people rather than what they can get out of them.
-They do not understand basic psychology, how people think and behave.
-They are often resistant to (and even hate) change: Perhaps because they fear losing control. In fact, new information, objective facts, research, stats, and even new ideas are often ignored in favor of what's easiest to do or because of tradition. If something has been done and “works”, top management does not see a reason to question it or to improve on it. If something was tried 5, 10, 20, even 50yrs before and failed, top management does not see a reason to try it again even if the exact circumstances have changed.
-They do not empower or give the means, the power or opportunity to do to employees.
-They do not trust others to follow through managing processes and performing tasks.
-They do not lead by example.
-They do not know when to move forward and when to back off, what to improve and how radical those improvements should be.
-They often fail to see options, and plan and prioritize.
-They fail to develop leaders around them.
-Their communication is often poor.
-Their listening is also poor: do not listen for more than facts, but also the feelings, meanings and undercurrents.
-They do not take the time to get to know the people they lead: no weekly check-ins which top organizations have to discuss how employees are doing professionally and personally. Management doesn't ask “what was good this week? What was not good this week? How is your well-being? How is your family?”
Competence in leadership skills is also poor.
-They are not teachable: not willing to keep learning, growing, improving in leadership and management practices: FCBH has a yearly “leadership” summit. But, the way it is set up, it reinforces weaknesses instead of challenging leadership growth.
The summit is also just for a select few in top management. Not every employee is seen as a leader so most employees are excluded.
Top managers attend the summit but there is no followup, no post accountability by other managers and especially by the employees that are under the managers. No discussion on how management will apply what was learned.
Some of the past speakers have had questionable characters and even questionable teachings (Judah Smith). Leadership qualifications and theological background seems to be ignored in favor of charismatics, dynamics, popularity.
-Top management does not take responsibility for their part of a disagreement or failure and apologize.
-They often embrace a victim mentality.
-They often limit yourself by your job title.
-They do not invest in better tools or processes.
-They are content with the status quo.
-They allow their past achievements to stagnate their desire to keep learning.
-There is a lack of discernment, finding the main cause of problems/issues.
-They do not anticipate problems.
-They do not accept the truth of the problem: Do not face up to the reality of the situation;
-They get bogged down in the details.
-They often avoid problems.
-They don’t deal well with problems.
-They do not have their team study all angles.
-They often do not value nontraditional thinking: Don’t embrace change, ambiguity and uncertainty well.
-They do not work well with differences.
-They do not have their own mentors or provide mentorship to others.
-They do not invest to improve their own professional or leadership skills.
-They are often insecure, constantly seek validation, acknowledgement and love.
-They limit employee's success and recognition:
-They do not seem interested in making people successful: Don’t attempt to remove barriers that prevent employees from being successful.

• They often feel threatened by accomplishments by employees who are not management:

If an employee who is not management has a great idea to improve the work, management often does not support it and may secretly try to shut it down.
When a team succeeds, management will not give other people credit and instead take the credit themselves.
It seems like some of the people working there were given the title of management, the position, and that alone made them qualified. Management or leaders assume that their position alone qualifies them to make critical decisions where they may not have the best data, insight, wisdom, skill, experience. Just because one may have the word “manger” in the job title, does not automatically make them a great leader. Leadership is about dealing with people, and the dynamics between those people, and influencing people.
*Dead end career path:
For the most part, top management assumes that team members are fine and "settled", rather than taking the time to understand their true feelings and needs. They do not ask employees where they are struggling, where they are having trouble, what frustrates them the most?
Management does not seem interested in making employees better both personally or professionally. They do not have a growth plan or professional development plan for employees. No job related training. They do not provide what is needed to help employees to grow and improve. They don't provide opportunities for employees to apply their talents and expertise. They don’t ask how they can better support employees. Employees don’t check on each other.
One is expected to work until health deteriorates and skills become obsolete so you leave in a worse place than you started. For most employees, there is no long term future with the organization. Management does not let employees know how they are doing and what the future looks like for them. What the opportunities are. They do not take the time to learn from employees what they want to be. No honest conversations to understand employees goals and ambitions. So, because there is no growth or development plan, no career path, once your skills are outdated, they will probably let you go or they will keep you in the same position and your salary will max out.
Management does not coach employees on how to manage their time, priorities, and energy; no teaching on how to problem solve, or make better decisions, or how to set boundaries or how to minimize context switching and zoom fatigue.

For context: we have two kids age 8 and 5.
Just back from 10 nights at POFQ, our first ever Disney trip. Overall really liked the hotel, it's a shame they had a pipe burst in their swimming pool and it was being repaired for most of our stay, but it was still a really nice place. Swimming pool at Riverside was only a 10 min walk away.
I had a good outline of our itinerary for the whole stay written up before we left with plenty of ADRs , however what we actually did was quite different.
Wrote up as much as I could remember, the exact order of events in particular is a bit muddy but I did my best.
Day 1: Arrive in the early evening, went to the pool, had inner in the food hall, went to bed.
Day 2: Genie + at Magic Kingdom. Totally screwed up EE that day because the park opened at 8am that day which caught me off guard, but aside from not rope-dropping Seven Dwarves as planned, we still got SO much done that day.
Arrived at 8am park opening.
Jungle Cruise
Big Thunder Mountain x 2
Pirates of the Carribbean
Ariel
Barnstormer x 2
Dumbo
Genie + Peter Pan
Laugh Floor
Genie + Buzz Lightyear
Peoplemover
Genie + Space Mountain/Speedway (in two parts since my youngest didn't go on it, I took both my kids to speedway while my husband had his turn)
Big Thunder again
Small World (but son needed toilet in queue so we left and husband and daughter stayed)
Then we went back into Smallworld while daughter and husband did Barnstormer again.
Genie + Winnie the Pooh.
Dinner at Skipper Canteen - so good!
We also watched the parade that day but it was sooo hot, we opted for a poorer view from a main street shop in the shade. Was not worth sticking out the heat for the length of time you would need to get an optimal view. I think trying to go our very first day was a mistake because we weren't acclimatised at all yet.
The longest queue we had that day was probably for Smallworld. Everything moved really quickly! Was also happy with Genie+.
Day 2: Animal Kingdom
Had entry issues and needed cards re-assigned at entry so kinda messed up FOP EE rope drop but husband and daughter persevered anyway. Son and I did Na'vi River and explored Pandora and stared Wilderness Explorers. Spent a LOT of time in Pandora gift shop.
Gorilla Trek
Wildlife Express and Rafiki's Planet Watch.
Festival of the Lion King (so good!)
It's Tough to be a Bug
Triceratops Spin
Had really nice homey feeling cookie and gigantic ice cream in Dinoland
Dinosaur (3 of us loved this ride, my son thought it was a bit too scary also it seemed like they should increase the height requirement because he could barely reach the bar to brace himself. I know it's being discontinued though.)
Safari
Dinner at hotel.
Day 3: Hollywood Studios
Successful EE rope drop for Rise of the Resistance
Smuggler's Run
Met Donald Duck
Met Goofy and Max
Star Tours
Runaway Railway (queue was brutal in the sun but it was a great ride)
Indiana Jones Show
Star Tours again
Muppets 3d
Race Academy - did not know what to expect coming in. If we had known we would not have trekked all the way across the park in the heat for that. My son DID like it, but it really didn't feel like it was the same quality as any of the other shows or rides.
Went back to Galaxy's edge for Blue and Green milk + puffbread. All really good. We possibly did Star Tour again, I don't remember haha.
The wait times for everything else being very long + the heat had us going back to the hotel early.
Dinner at hotel.
Day 4: Magic Kingdom Day 2
Tried to EE rope drop 7 dwarves but it was down and we decided not to wait it out (rookie mistake)
Teacups
Thunder Mountain x 2
Split up and did Haunted Mansion/ Smallworld (and got stuck on Smallworld for like 15 minutes)
Haunted mansion crew did Carousel while waiting for us, then we did Carousel after.
Took Daughter to meet Pooh and Tigger while the others did Speedway + People Mover
Back to hotel early for dinner.
Day 5: Genie + Epcot.
Failed to get Guardians Boarding at 7am.
EE Test Track
Mission Space (Green)
Genie + Remy
Genie + Soarin
Moana water walkthrough
Genie + Living with the Land
Got boarding for guardians for about 6pm. Cancelled ADR because of it.
Spaceship Earth
Met Moana
Genie + Nemo
Genie + Figment
Met Figment
Met Joy
Nemo again
Quick Dinner in Mexico
Gran Fiesta Tour (honestly had no idea this was here, really cool building, kids liked the boat ride)
Finally boarding group for guardians called at nearly 7pm.
Really great day! I seemed to be able to book really quickly back to back for Genie +. Kids really liked all the chill dark rides .
Wanted to do Frozen that day but the Genie+ was sold out even before lunch.
At this point we are really just trying to get things we missed
Day 6: Magic Kingdom Day 3
Successful EE rope drop of Seven Dwarves. Said 75 min wait when we entered but it really wasn't too bad, maybe 30-45. This ride had amazing theming, but was lacking as a coaster.
Teacups
Split up and 2 of us did astral orbiter that had a wait time of 25 minutes, and the other 2 did space mountain with a wait time of 35 minutes. Space mountain finished first!
Carousel
Swiss Family Treehouse
Enchanted Tiki Room
Magic Carpet - this seemed to be my son's favourite of this style ride. He's been talking about magic carpets evey day since.
We actually had a boarding time for Tron but the kids got fed up of the heat so we gave up and cancelled or place in the virtual queue.
Took the train back to the entrance. Very pleasant.
Dinner at hotel
Day 7
Epcot Day 2
We really wanted to do Cosmic Rewind again and do Frozen since we missed it the other day.
We failed to get a 7am boarding so bought an ILL for 11:30
EE rope drop at Frozen, which was down and they tried to get us to go elsewhere but it was open by about 8:45.
Gran Fiesta Tour
Met Asha
We were going to go do Soarin but we got distracted by a giant Joffrey's donut and a squirrel that was fun to watch, and then there was a minor child meltdown so we had a long break before heading to our ILL for Cosmic Rewind. Totally worth the cost.
I tried one last time to see if the kids would explore the World Showcase but they voted to go to the waterpark instead.
We went back to the hotel, then off to Typhoon Lagoon where 3/4 of us got minor scrapes in the wave pool, but kids loved it and would have gone back a second day.
Went back to Disney Springs and got dinner at Chicken Guy. Probably the best fast food I have ever had.
Day 8
Animal Kingdom Day 2
This was a lot of running around chasing short queues. Genie + would have been really good for us at this park.
EE rope drop Everest x 2. Was really good but going backwards made my stomach a bit iffy.
Na'vi River
Safari (finally saw an elephant!)
Nemo Show
Lion King Show again
Met Dug (first character my son was actually excited to meet)
Maharajah Jungle Trek
Back to Disney Springs for Dinner. Went to Pizza Ponte so we could all choose a different topping of pizza. Also walked around and heard live music before we left.
Took daughter to Happily Ever After fireworks that night. Stood above the railway station for a quick escape at the end.
Day 9
Last day :(
Genie + Hollywood Studios
Genie + didn't seem to work as well at this park, it seemed at Epcot I could always book after entering a ride and we used it a lot but at HS it seemed strictly 2 hours apart. Maybe I am just not seeing it clearly.
On reflection , next time I would probably do Slinky Dog at EE followed by Runaway Railway and buy an ILL for Rise and skip Genie + if I was looking to save some money. I would de-prioritise Toy Story Mania next time, but our first day we missed all of the Toy Story area.
EE rope drop Rise of the Resistance. Pretty sure we were on the ride before EE even officially started.
Smuggler's Run
Met The Mandalorian and Grogu (probably the best meet!)
Star Tours
Alien Flying Saucers
Droid Depot
Genie + Slinky dog
Beauty and the Beast show
Met Chewbacca
Met Pluto
Genie + Runaway Railway
Star Tours again
Genie + Toy Story Mania. Ride broke down while in queue. Waited for ages before the put us on the other side, almost missed our next booking.
Oga's Canteen. Tried 4 different non-alcoholic drinks and they were all good. It was super cool. Only downside is we had a high table (standing only) and my son couldn't see the top of the table/anything and he was pretty unimpressed by the whole situation. Flying Saucers Mama Melrose for dinner. Muppets 3d Fantasmic. I read 15 min early "at least" aimed for 30 minutes early, and the place was well more than half full by then. Took a really long time to leave. If there is a next time I would go much earlier and bring snacks just to make getting out easier. Overall I was hugely impressed with the level of detail in everything, and all the cast members were amazing. It was a really cool experience, and it's hard to imagine never going back. If there is a next time I really want to explore the world showcase and do more sit-down meals. We had a lot planned but the kids didn't have the stamina for being in the park all day so we cancelled almost all of them. We also ended up doing parks in a somewhat different order than I initially planned. Kids got really tired of travelling on buses, which is also why we didn't break in the middle of the day and then going back to the parks. Would look at skyliner options next time. Things we didn't get to do:
Try dole whip (never noticed a place to buy it, ice cream was often an urgent necessity so didn't seek it out specifically) Tron (too hot to wait for boarding group when it was already day 3 at magic Kingdom and basically felt done.) Explore World Showcase (too much walking for few rides, from kids' perspective) Eat for fun more (we ate more out of necessity but found fun snacks when convenient) Tower of Terror (queues too long and genie + bookings too late) Frozen Singalong (timing never seemed to work out) Luminous (son had no interest in late night shows so we only did a couple things at night.) Take ride on skyliner. Something that surprised me: queues for popular rides stayed long even at 9pm. Couldn't see a viable alternative to EE rope drop + genie plus to get all the big rides "done" except perhaps if you had extended evening hours, but that would not have worked with our kids. Number of beignets consumed during our stay: 12

tl;dr: if it's your first time to Bandon, you'll have an amazing time and the facility/resort is as good as advertised. the greens range from good to pretty bad.
Went to Bandon this past weekend for the first time as a solo, and had an absolute blast. Overall, the course are a ton of fun, but the concerns about the greens are unfortunately real. The silver lining is that most of them seem to be trending in the right direction per feedback from caddies and other guests, but there's still rough spots. More details on each course below:
Shorty's: It's gonna be so much fun in a year or two when the fescue completely grows in on the greens. So many cool slopes and potential pin locations, and only a few holes with true forced carries over waste/gorse/etc. The reality is right now the greens are hilariously slow, but if you into it knowing that, and being cool with it, you'll still have an amazing time. Definitely a little more exhausting to play than Preserve (19 vs. 13 holes) and some of the bigger swings/elevation changes come in the last 6 holes.
Sheep Ranch: The good holes are really good, and some of the inland holes are pretty forgettable. You can really feel how tight the acreage is compared to the other courses. That being said, I played it with absolutely zero wind and in 70 degree temps so it was an aytpical experience. The greens are..weird. They range from pretty slow and grown in to sandy and ridiculously fast, sometimes on the same putt. It sounds like they're giving up on keeping the Poa out and hopefully that'll just take over in the next few years. The ending stretch (starting with the Volcano Par 5, #11) is pretty awesome.
Bandon Dunes: Some of the greens have huge dead spots (usually in a line) that make putts impossible going through them. That being said, the sections of the green that are alive and healthy rolled really really well. This wasn't a huge deal on longer lag putts but for things that were more makable, most players and caddies just advised moving it so you had a non-impacted line. For the cost, this is annoying, but again, it was my first time here and the quality of the course had me more stoked than having to adjust a few putts. Personal highlights, tee shot on #3, 2nd shot on #4, tee shot on #10, #13 as a hole, avoiding the bunker (or getting out of it) on #15, #16 as a whole, and figuring out what you want to do on #17.
Trails: It's a really cool track, completely different vibe from the rest of the courses. Neat how it starts out giving you something that feels kinda familiar on #1 and then by #3 you're in a different world. You will likely lose balls on this course without a caddie (or even with one) since the forest can swallow them. Super neat routing around the halfway house from #7 - #10. Tee shot on #11 is super cool, and the 2nd shot on #13 is awesome. #14's green is as broken and unfair as the internet claims, especially if the pin is up front. The closing stretch is tough, no easy holes, plays dead into the wind, and can make any decent round explode from #14 onwards. The greens ranged from excellent to very bumpy, so that gives me hope that they'll continue to improve through the summer.
Old Mac: The greens got punched 5 days prior to me playing it, but apparently they were pure prior to that. Still rolled better as a whole than everywhere except the Preserve. Apart from #1 & #2, every hole had a fascinating tee shot or a green complex that made you thrilled with a 2-putt and accepting of a 3-putt if you were out of position. #3 is such a cool tee shot and approach in if you leave it on the hill, #4 is a tough par 4, and #5 is closer to a mini-golf putt (or roll down the hill) than an actual green. It isn't meant to be terribly fair, and that's okay. Closing stretch is also very strong from #14 onwards.
Pacific Dunes: Oh boy. The greens were not good. The putts ranged from bumpy to straight up plinko board (#12). The course is such a cool layout, but between it being the final course I played in 3 days, the wind absolutely howling, and the greens being pretty bad, it was a taxing round. Playing it in the morning is a must unless you routinely want to hit into a 3-4 club wind when you're going into it. Definitely has the toughest first hole on the property if the wind is blowing.
Preserve: Such a great short course, got to play it by myself as the first person out on a misty morning and it was so peaceful. Great range of holes and shots you have to hit (nothing longer than 170, and that pin was about as far back as it could have been on #7). The greens were in amazing shape and rolled true, so hopefully that's the quality everything else can get back to by the end of the season. The wind is definitely a factor, so if you play it in the afternoon definitely be prepared for some exposed and blown shots.
I had a caddie for all 6 of the 18-hole rounds and would definitely recommend Brian (splits his time between Oregon & the Big Island), Christian (from Seattle, has been around for a long time), and Aaron (who made the absolute most of a 22-year old who thoroughly enjoyed melting down after any bad shot). There was one caddie who I didn't vibe with, but it wasn't so bad that it's worth putting on the internet. Just a mismatch of vibes and expectations.
Lunch was excellent at Trails End (and breakfast looked really good too), and the Shephard's Pie at Mckee's was great. Ghost Tree Grill is pricy but very tasty, if it's in your budget definitely would recommend dropping by for apps and a drink at the least. Very easy to grab a seat at the bar as a solo.
Service across the board was impeccable, minus one weird situation where my orange whip got left in the starter's shack to reduce weight and then it just..disappeared for a while? Shoutout to Brian who found it after a little digging and in the customer service room.
Stayed in town at the Bandon Inn, and for being a single that's really the most cost effective way to do it. Was able to snag a rental car via Turo in North Bend (shoutout to Michela!), and it ran about $200 per night. Dinner options shut down early in town, so if you get off the course on the late side either eat at the resort or double check that where you're planning to go is still open. Great lunch options though, The Loft and Tony's Crab Shack were both great.
Bottom line, unless you're intending to try and shoot your lowest scores while adhering to every single rule of golf or gambling for a ton of money and that depends on putts, you'll have a great time. If you've been to Bandon a bunch, the greens might be a disappointment, but you'll still probably have a great time. No discounts were given on any course (except for Old Mac) for the condition of the greens, and that was because it was still within the 5-day aeration window.