Lunesta walmart

This has really become a problem. I don't morally agree with stealing one little bit, yet I keep ending up with my pockets, bag or trunk full of items, most of which I don't need.
Here's a short list of some of the thing's I have ended up with
From Goodwill: (fucked up I know but has become a regular spot, too easy) A $200 portable digital t.v.
A shit ton of movies, including 5 seasons of the office, ps3 and pc games, shoes, a little wooden piece for massages and more.
From Gas stations: Portable phone chargers Mini usb cables (6ft) wall adapters. A few met rx bars. Usb reading light. And much more, i'm almost always high when I do this and tend to forget.
Dollar general: A whole lot of colored pens and markers. 2 paint markers. A trimmer with all kinds of attachments. As seen on t.v comfort click belt. Bands for glasses. A chair (traded for pot) just picked it up and walked away with it, thought it was hilarious! Random toys, little rubber frogs and whatnot. Really anything I see, their security is majorly flawed.
Walmart and elsewhere, at least 50 dvds and cds.
Okay that gets some of the minor stuff out of the way, now try not to judge me guys because this is where it gets a little dark.
I took someone to the E.r, won't say where but I was drunk as shit and bored and couldn't restrain myself, I got a really expensive $300-400 thermometer (sold on letgo) A lot of random things laying about, pens and other miscellaneous items. This took the cake though, I somehow squeezed in after a nurse through some doors that are usually locked, walked into a random office, rummaged through it and somehow ended up unplugging and walking out undetected with a big cisco phone and base.
Okay, a little darker now While working a job that clepto's (and drug addicts) like me obviously shouldn't be working at (Medical Offices) I obtained: Soma Hydrocodone syrup (like 16 bottles) Codeine syrup. A lot of tussicaps (time release hydrocodone and an antihistimine) 2 bottles, 90 in one and 180 in the other of time release xanax. Unlimited nuvigil (sort of like adderall but typically prescribed for narcolepsy) Hundreds of Ambien and Lunesta. A lot of other random medication, inhalers, gauz, insoles for my shoes. Opana 30 mg. E.r. Klonopin yellow 0.5's I think. Vyvance (Adderall but mildly different) Yeah. Lots of drugs. May have had a stroke, idk. Also got some other neat things: 4 Palm Tx's (in their heyday) Mountains of ice cream, candy and food left in the fridge, Jet's pizza, Firehouse sub's, Olive Garden, all that good stuff. An iPad. A lot of surgical equipment and whatnot. Scalpels. Syringes. Tylenol, bandaids and other randoms.
And here is where the light switch is flipped and it can't get much darker, I ask for forgiveness every day over shit like this. I'm a bad person but at least I feel guilty.
A relative had a safe full of Lortab 10's, Morphine, Soma's, the works. You probably know by now where this is headed...
I learned how to pop the safe, it's quite simple really. Got all of them within a few weeks. Relative extremely angry lf course. Thought it was funny at the time. Relative screaming in back yard, scared the neighbors and relative's wife. Still chuckle a little when I think about it.
Stole weed from pot dealer friend a few times. Really regret it, he's a great guy..
Annnd... The icing on the cake.. Got very high at a very good friend's house. Friend was drug dealer. Had income tax $. Hung out with said friend, smoked a ton of weed, drank a pint of whiskey, took dilaudid and xanax bars, did 2 8 balls of great cocaine (remember i'm with drug dealer, she brings out the good stuff) somehow ended up snorting meth for the first time next door and somehow ended up in dealer's (Female btw) bathroom high as a kite attached to a satellite and she films us doing some naughty things and talks the entire time, the video is hilarious and there is an e.r band on my arm though I don't recall going. Afterwards it was 4 a.m or so and dealer (remember one of my best friends) puts her trust in me and offers for the g.f and I to spend the rest of the night. I didn't plan to do this guys, I honestly had no idea exactly what I was doing, I just did it. Anyway as soon as dealer goes to sleep I immediately start walking everything I can carry to the car and stuff the trunk. I woke up next to a lap top, an xbox 360, a nice watch, a knife set (???) And I don't recall what else. I robbed one of my best friends. I warned you, dark. Messed up I know. I eventually came clean, she asked me about the xbox, I had no use for it and felt terrible having it in my home so I returned it and a few other things. I still have the lap top and watch, I tried to give it back, but we had words and, with reason she made it clear that she's still very upset. I don't blame her, I would be too. And the cocktail of opiates, xanax, whiskey, cocaine, weed, meth and more is no excuse.
There's my confession guys. I feel terrible. I ask for forgiveness often. I lost a good friend. I did learn my lesson though. I try not to steal from loved ones. They are not worth risking, not to mention it's just wrong. I do still take little things here and there, I have my reasons for that... Anyways the moral of the story is, Kids, don't do drugs and don't steal. Go to school, learn and make something of yourself.
Update: As most of you, including myself suspected, I am eventually slipped up and got caught. Luckily it was at a time where I'd only gotten about $100 worth of things. Walmart. I looked loss prevention in the eye and recognized something was awry.. But I was having a bad day and not as focused as ideally as I would like to be while ducking cameras and customers and pulling my routine. LP spotted me and pulled me aside as I was attemping to leave, tried to put me through some program to get me to pay and attend classes but for whatever reason it didn't work for me. He said it wouldn't validate my name and I'm unsure why. Luckily, I don't have a record and at court they said I'm going to be put on a memorandum which is like probation that noone knows about or some shit like that, IF I get approved. If not I did the crime and don't mind paying for it. I've totaled 10s of thousands of dollars lifting so I consider this more than fair. And I have quit, other than a small candy bar a time or two and needed a wake up call anyway. Thank God they didn't catch me with a felony amount. Love to all!
Update: The Chronicles continue! I have plenty of new juicy news, one incident of which finally landed me in jail, the rest is a mile long list of new things I've stolen and ways I've gotten caught and got out of it. However, as I'm not sure if anyone will actually read this, I'm not going to post it until someone asks or recommends a better place to post it where it will get the viewers it deserves.