Rhombus hunt
Intragalactic Pet and Garden Show
2024.05.04 16:14 LaughingTarget Intragalactic Pet and Garden Show
Milek carefully brushed her zephin strider’s long silky tail as she looked over the competition. Many species had come from all corners of the galaxy this year, each bringing along the finest examples that their home worlds had to offer. Of course, she thought her strider was the best of the bunch, though she had to admit she had some bias in the evaluation.
Her strider gently snorted in pleasure as the comb passed through its fine coat before nudging Milek for a treat. She handed over a bundle of green vegetables to the willing animal, which happily munched while enjoying the grooming session.
“That’s a fine zephin strider you have this year,” a voice said from the next stall over.
Looking over, Milek saw Fessin. He was a large Ominian that served as her foil most years at the Intragalactic Pet and Garden Show, or IPGS as regulars liked to call it. The two would routinely swap victories with one another.
Eyeing Fessin’s latest entry, a gunluk with an unusually long facial appendage and rich lavender skin, Milek smirked. “I see you went with size over substance this time, Fessin.”
“Only a Zilian would confuse size with substance, especially one bringing along a walking carpet,” Fessin replied, voice friendly despite the contents of the words.
Neither of the two had any animosity to one another. Milek greatly enjoyed her rival’s entries as he brought along unusual creatures from his world. No matter who won this day, and Milek was certain it would be one of the two again this year, they would go out and have a few drinks and catch each other up on their families.
Fessin was using two of his hands to massage oil into the gunluk’s skin while he held a tablet in his other two. “Did you see we have a new species entering this year?”
“No,” Milek replied, setting her comb down to the chagrin of the strider. She was jealous of Fessin’s extra pair of appendages. Four was better than two. “Let me take a look.”
Taking her own tablet, she scanned the entry list. There, near the end, was an unusual name.
Human.
It was a species that was discovered in an unusual sector of the galaxy. The Humans’ home star system was on the more intense side of habitable for intelligent species, pushing the boundaries of what scientists considered livable. Brighter than nearly 85% of all the stars in the galaxy, their home star, called Sol, was at the upper bound of effective heat before the system would become too hostile and too unstable.
As such, along with its active heliosphere, it had gone unnoticed until earlier in the year when a Human exploration craft found its way to a nearby star system and bumped into a long-haul freighter.
Because of how recent the species entered the galactic community, little was known about them. All they had was the species survey that was sent to the Galactic Council for any new species that discovers faster than light travel. It was a marvel one of their members even became aware of the IPGS.
Fessin belted out a long laugh. “You need to check out their survey. It’s a riot.”
Milek loaded the Council site and looked up the Human submission. The document read like a bad holofiction.
“Wow, and I thought we Zilian were insecure. We told the Council we secreted a venom that made us poisonous to eat,” Milek chuckled as she read the document.
Fessin also laughed uproariously. “And we Ominians claimed our exterior was a hard shell that shattered upon biting, leading to lacerations in the mouth. Little did we know that none of the species that develop intelligence are predatory.”
The pair shared in the mirth of their terror in meeting new species for the first time. Every species went through the same process. They’d all find out they weren’t alone in the galaxy, become afraid then lie on the survey to scare off potential threats. It was a time-honored tradition that every species went through, along with the friendly mockery that came with it after they discovered that nothing out in space was going to eat them.
These Humans though? They must be unusually weak and timid among the intelligent species. Instead of just one or maybe two faked defensive measures, the Humans created a litany of absurdities.
“Look at this,” Milek snorted. “The Humans listed their home gravity as triple the highest ever recorded. The figure is so high that the only way they could have passed the first space travel filter would be to load up an immense quantity of explosives into a pile and detonate it while sitting on it. No one is that insane.”
“This is another good one,” Fessin added. “They claim here to be able to run for such distances that they’d consider the longest recorded run at the Pan Galactic Games a gentle stroll.”
The list of inane claims went on and on. Ranging from claiming the ability to launch projectiles by hand at speeds capable of crushing the bones and organs of every intelligent species in the galaxy all the way to claiming they ate meat. Meat! Everyone knows predators never develop complex social structures. They’re just too violent.
“This is too much,” Milek guffawed. “They’re trying to scare us off saying they routinely fight each other with weapons so wild that it would make speculative fiction writers blush.”
“Right,” Fessin added. “The only things I can believe out of any of this is that they’re tiny. They average half my height. No one would lie about being that small. Yet they simultaneously claim that their young children can routinely lift masses greater than our most accomplished power lifters.”
“We’ll be lucky then,” Milek stated. “We get to see one in person here. Assuming its arrival isn’t also a fabrication.”
The pair quickly moved on from the poor storytelling that the Humans concocted and made small talk about other competitors. The two, while intrigued by the other entrants in their pens, knew they’d be the top pair this year.
“Oh, I think our Human has arrived,” Fessin commented, gesturing toward the registration desk visible beyond the doorway to the pens. Beyond it, a small, bipedal creature was standing before the table.
One thing the pair noted was the Humans didn’t fabricate their size. The Human, Milek noted was male based on the notes in the survey, was so small that the registration desk was level with his chin. The Human had to extend his ambulatory propulsion extremity to give him enough boost to reach the registry form.
“What is he wearing?” Fessin asked as he regarded the new species. Similar conversations were happening all over the room as every entrant present was enamored by the new arrival.
“I’ll check,” Milek said as she lifted her tablet and pointed it in the direction of the Human. The device captured his image and, after Milek mentally requested the information, began analyzing the garments.
Thankfully, the Humans had made enough cultural data available that the system was able to answer their questions. The Human was wearing layered garments on its upper body. The first layer against its skin, a white cloth, was called a button-down shirt. She couldn’t see the buttons since it was overlaid by a second layer, a covering designed in grey with rhombus shapes in the cloth, called a wool sweater vest.
The lower extremities were tan leggings referred to as khaki chinos held up by a darker brown belt around the central point of the Human’s body. The lower ambulatory extremities were concealed by a garment called Oxfords.
Everything about the outfit felt non-threatening and almost silly to Milek and Fessin. They knew from this initial glance that the Humans had wildly overexaggerated the threat they presented to the galaxy. There would be many fun times to be had with future Human friends over this.
Strangely, though, the receptionist, a male Ipinan, appeared frozen in fear. The pair wondered why this was. Then the Human rotated its head and peered through the door.
Milek and Fessin both gasped in tandem. The Human had front facing eyes. This was something that no other species in the galactic community possessed and was a common hallmark of predatory species around the galaxy.
Milek calmed when she looked closer and noticed a device perched on the Human’s nose. The device held a pair of vision correcting lenses that the Human peered through. Noticing the Human’s weakened eyesight, she realized that the eye placement must be some form of adaptive camouflage to dissuade predation.
“I don’t see why they needed to lie when all they had to do was post a visual of their faces,” Fessin commented.
Milek nodded in agreement. “That’s true. One look at those eyes and that would be enough to scare off most threats.”
Still, that didn’t explain the Ipinan’s abject terror, something the Human was oblivious to. Which was fair since the Humans were still new to the galactic community and couldn’t know the nuances of each of the member species.
The Human held in one of its five-digit hands a rope of some sort that loosely stretched out of view through the door. Anticipation rose in Milek and Fessin when they noticed the rope. This was going to be the Human’s entrant in the IPGS.
After completing the form, the Ipinan rigidly pointed into the pens area. The Human entered the room and what followed caused every species present, Milek and Fessin included, to freeze up in panic.
Attached to the other end of the rope was a vicious predatory creature. While smaller than the Human, the animal’s back reached the level of the Human’s knees, the quadrupedal animal oozed predatory vibes. Its fur coat was a mixture of whites and tans, colors that would have made it difficult to identify in arid environments.
Long ears hung down from the sides of its head, indicating it had a powerful sense of hearing. A long snout with a black nose showed off the terror of its scent senses. This creature could hear and smell its prey, making it difficult, if not impossible, to hide.
The worst was the muzzle. Hanging open, it displayed rows upon rows of sharp white teeth as it breathed heavily, tongue hanging to the side. It was mocking the room, showing off what it would use to rend their flesh and the organ it would use to taste their meat.
And the Human had it casually attached to a rope. He walked it into the room with little care and didn’t even seem concerned the dangerous animal was walking behind him.
“I think we can calm down,” Fessin said, suddenly finding his ability to move. “See that object on the animal’s neck?”
Milek forced her eyes to take in the predator. Around its neck was a red band that was clasped by a silver buckle. Her muscles loosened when she saw it. “Oh thank goodness! The Human isn’t insane. He has it contained by a control collar.”
The pair realized the rope must be the input device to keep the predator sedated. The Human was showing off how they managed to survive on their world and keep predators in-check. Other species would create complex mazes to protect their homes or create harmless trap and release systems to relocate dangerous predators. The Humans must have found a way to suppress the predator’s higher functions.
Of course, the Galactic Council would quickly squash this. Mental slavery, even of predator species, was highly frowned upon. The Human present would be given a grace pass since they are ignorant of the wider community’s laws and standards.
As the realization filtered through the room, everyone calmed and took this as an opportunity to get an up-close look at a predator outside of a game preserve.
The Human’s lips curled up, something the notes called a smile, and nodded to the other contestants. Milek noticed the small translation device affixed to his ear, something that he would need while the Humans learned Galactic Standard.
Quietly, the Human went and sat in his own waiting area. Milek noted his strange gait and the strange gait of his captured predator. It looked like they were carefully taking steps, like they didn’t want to hit the ground too hard. She wondered why they felt like they were moving in slow motion.
Milek also took note of the musculature of the Human. Visible under its thin skin, it flexed and moved smoothly. Something in her instincts screamed that maybe the strength claim was not a fabrication. Yet it was moving so slowly that it looked like it was struggling under the gravity on the planet.
After more small talk and murmuring around the room, the announcement came over the speakers to relocate to the main competition hall.
Everyone filed out in order of their entry numbers to parade their entrants before the crowd. A small warning was sent out that there would be one predatory animal entry and it was safely contained. This would be necessary for the Human’s animal when it entered the main hall to avoid a mass freeze.
Taking a deep breath, Milek led her strider out into the main hall at the head of the procession. The winner of the prior year’s competition always received the honor of leading the line.
Exiting a tunnel, Milek took in the massive arena. A long oval, the arena was ringed by display pens for each contestant and was so large it could hold a half a million spectators. Sure, compared to the trillions of residents of the galaxy, a half million wasn’t an impressive number. More popular events could attract billions of viewers on the holos.
Still, old instincts were present in every species. A half million spectators was logically a fringe event. Yet it still felt like a massive crowd to the instinctual mind.
Milek’s step increased as she and her well-trained strider gracefully pranced into the arena. First impressions were always important in these events. A failed entry could spell doom with the judges.
After reaching her station at the end, Milek secured her strider and turned and watched the other entrants as she caught her breath from the long run. Mainly, the Human. She observed him at the back of the procession as he followed the line.
The Human and his mind-controlled predator appeared to be struggling. They clumsily moved along the rear of the group like he was having a hard time matching the pace. More niggling instincts said the Human was used to moving at a pace far faster than the run the contestants entered at.
Yet the way his body moved made her think Humans were from a low gravity world. The steps were slow and methodical, making it a poor showing as he clumsily followed the back of the procession. The animal was trying to high step its legs in a prance, yet its rhythm was off. This must be because the Human was struggling with maintaining its own pace while sending signals to the predator at the same time.
Milek felt bad for the Human. It had traveled most of the way across the galaxy to show off his homeworld’s animals just to fight against the gravity and put on a weak showing in the initial phase. Maybe he could recover in the individual event.
Milek moved on to the individual phase. Once again, being the winner came with the advantage of going first. Many assumed going last was beneficial since it would be the most recent performance for the judges. Milek knew better. The crowd would tire as would the judges over the hours it took to go through all the entries.
Milek’s display went as well as she could hope. Her strider gracefully galloped around the arena, showing off its beautifully flowing hair. The silky coat streamed behind like flags and, when it ran, the animal’s coat sparkled in the arena lights.
The clapping was the best she had heard in many years. Confident, Milek watched her friend Fessin throw fruit at his gunluk, which snatched it out of the air and ate. It was an interesting display and, had Milek not brought a strider, would have been good for the win. She was already planning what she would say to her friend after the event when he held his second place ribbon.
The rest of the entrants went as expected. Various animals were displayed and walked across the yard. Few animals brought were ever sophisticated enough to perform basic tasks like Fessin’s gunluk or could equal the pure beauty of the strider.
Finally, it was the Human’s turn. Going last, much of the crowd had already filtered out of the arena and the judges appeared to be tiring. The poor guy would struggle to gain their attention.
Strangely, the Human left his controlled predator in the pen and began walking around the arena. He placed devices on the ground in various places and returned to his pen. Taking out a tablet of his own, he pressed the surface. Then the devices sprouted out various hard light constructs.
Tunnels, ramps, boards on pivot points and an array of rods closely placed in a line sprouted up all over the arena. Milek was intrigued by what the Human was intending to do.
The Human led the animal out of the pen and to one end of the arena. Then she froze in panic as did the judges and the remaining spectators. The Human had reached down and released the control collar from the predator. It was now loose!
Surprise rose in Milek’s mind when the predator didn’t immediately rampage and rip the Human’s throat out. Instead, it stood still on all four of its legs, nose pointed out and mouth closed. It had an intense look in its front facing eyes and its muscles flexed.
Then the Human ran. Its speed and grace was unbelievable. Making a noise, the animal then followed along. Milek was afraid the predator had come to its senses and was aiming to kill the Human.
Then it didn’t. The Human would gesture at the different hard light constructs and the predator, with a blazing speed even greater than the Human’s, would run at them.
The animal streaked up and down ramps. The creature balanced on the pivoted board and allowed its weight to lower it down the other end, displaying the terrifying intelligence the predator possessed. Its speed was shown off when it bolted into a long, curved tunnel and shot out of the other end. Its agility was presented when it quickly weaved in and out of the closely placed rods.
All the while, the Human continued to bound at speed across the arena in his sweater vest and Oxford shoes, garments that did not look like they were designed for athletic achievement.
Then, after the pair rapidly ran from one end of the arena to the other through the obstacle course, the Human ended the display. The animal sat before the Human and patiently waited. The Human reached into a pocket in the chino pants and retrieved a brown strip. Milek’s instincts repulsed when she caught the odor of meat. The Human handed the strip to the animal, which ate it and then waited.
Horror filled Milek when she realized what had just occurred. The Human didn’t mind control the predator. He had tamed the predator.
The Human replaced the collar and, now without the restrictions of the line, far more gracefully led the animal back to their pen after which he collected his hard light emitters.
It took a few minutes for the crowd and judges to regain their senses. After a few more minutes of deliberation, the judges announced they had made a decision. A podium was brought into the arena and names were announced.
As Milek expected, her name was announced as the winner with Fessin taking second place. A Rukkin’s fabilisa earned third.
While happy with her victory, Milek felt it was unearned. The Human had made a display never before seen in galactic history. He had brought a predator, a tamed one at that, and easily displayed it to a crowd. She knew fear and bias kept the judges from voting for his animal.
She nudged Fessin. “Join me, I want to talk with the Human.”
Fessin looked nervously over at the Human’s waiting area. No other contestant or spectator had gone anywhere near his space. Even his neighbors had quickly vacated after the announcement. “Are you sure? That animal…I don’t know. It’s terrifying.”
Milek agreed. However, she knew something else was more important. “Fessin, we’re being rude. This is the Human’s first experience outside of its home and we’re avoiding him. Come, we need to introduce ourselves and show that the galaxy is a friendly place.”
Hesitating a moment, the pair gathered their courage and approached the Human. The Human looked up and bared his teeth at the pair. Milek froze when she saw the teeth. There in his mouth, along with the expected plant molars and cutting incisors, were sharp teeth designed to consume meat.
The Human quickly put his hand over his mouth to conceal his teeth. “I’m dreadfully sorry. I forgot that showing teeth is considered hostile. Please forgive my breach of decorum, we show teeth on my planet when we’re happy.”
Fessin swallowed hard next to Milek. “That’s fine. We all have our species body language we have to be careful to control. Accidental offense is common, so we don’t take it. I’m Fessin.”
“I’m Milek,” Milek said as she tried to fight against the fear that looking at the Human’s front facing eyes gave her. She also noticed the Human’s breathing was steady and slow. He had just made a lengthy run from one end of the arena to the other and showed no sign of exertion at all. They hadn’t lied on the survey about their ability to run distances.
“You can call me Arthur. This was quite the experience. Petunia here also enjoyed it greatly,” he said, bending over and rubbing a hand over the top of the animal’s head. The creature’s tongue lolled out and it panted when the hand contacted the fur.
“Can I ask what you call that animal?” Fessin asked, staring at Arthur casually contacting a vicious predator.
“Ah, yes. These are what we call dogs. These types of shows are common back on Earth, though we usually only have dogs in them. This particular dog is a breed known as a King Charles Spaniel. Beautiful and graceful they are,” Arthur said as he spoke of the animal like it was a strider.
Milek marveled at how controlling these animals was so common that the Humans had pet shows specifically dedicated to them. She also took note of the animal’s name. King. Yes, that was appropriate for such a dangerous beast. It was truly a king among predators.
Arthur then turned his mouth down. “Sadly, it seems we have quite a bit of stiff competition out here in the galaxy. Big fish, small pond as they say back home. I had hoped our display would have given a better impression on the judges.”
Milek didn’t want to ruin his impression of the galactic community by telling him the judges were too scared of his King to ever grant it any points. So she gave a smaller lie. “I think it was the entry that caused issue. You seemed to be uncoordinated.”
Arthur balled up one of his appendages and punched it into the other. The loud slap from the immense force scared Milek and Fessin. “Of course! That must have been it. The entry is quite important after all. You see, we didn’t properly practice under this gravity.”
“That’s important,” Fessin said. “This planet’s gravity is on the heavier side this year. Next year will be on a more average planet.”
Arthur’s head cocked to the side, “Too heavy? No, sorry, it’s quite too light for us. Maybe a third or so of what we’re used to. Maybe I’ll have to compensate next year by fashioning up a weight vest. That should offset some of the difficulty walking. I have to be careful or I’ll bounce up in the air like a lunatic.”
To demonstrate, Arthur bounded up so high that the bottoms of his Oxford shoes were level with Milek’s eyes. He let out a sound that sounded mirthful. “Oh my, this is fun. Reminds me of holiday on Mars.”
More horror came to Milek in that moment. How high Arthur casually leapt in the air made her think that even more of that survey wasn’t a cover to scare the galactic community. It was looking to be true. All of it.
“So, uh, how long have you managed to tame these dogs? The technology would be valuable on other planets to keep predators in check,” Fessin said as he backed away slightly from Arthur in fear.
Arthur looked down at the animal. “Technology? Oh no, we’ve been friends for around, oh, 30,000 years, give or take. It was before written history, so we have to estimate based on genetic information and archaeology.”
Milek’s eyes went wide. These Humans had tamed a wild predator before they could even write.
Arthur continued, “Humans and dogs, or wolves they came from, are quite compatible. They can run long distances like us. We share complex hunting and social groups. We have strong coordination abilities. It was a perfect match provided by random evolutionary chance.”
Milek’s worries grew when she started to understand what just stepped onto the galactic stage. A strong, fast predatory animal with intelligence and social coordination just entered the broader community.
“Can we expect you again next year,” Milek asked, lacking anything else to say and not wanting to offend the dangerous Human before her.
The Human’s mouth turned up, “Probably not.”
Milek and Fessin both felt relief at the statement.
“It’ll be my wife’s turn. She has a wonderful Irish Wolfhound pup she’s working with that will be ready for show next year,” Arthur said in a tone that sounded like pride.
Milek and Fessin turned to look at each other. They knew that they’d still go and, whatever this Irish Wolfhound thing may be, it couldn’t be any worse than what they just saw. It was a King after all. Nothing was scarier than a King.
Part 2 Here
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Her strider gently snorted in pleasure as the comb passed through its fine coat before nudging Milek for a treat. She handed over a bundle of green vegetables to the willing animal, which happily munched while enjoying the grooming session.
“That’s a fine zephin strider you have this year,” a voice said from the next stall over.
Looking over, Milek saw Fessin. He was a large Ominian that served as her foil most years at the Intragalactic Pet and Garden Show, or IPGS as regulars liked to call it. The two would routinely swap victories with one another.
Eyeing Fessin’s latest entry, a gunluk with an unusually long facial appendage and rich lavender skin, Milek smirked. “I see you went with size over substance this time, Fessin.”
“Only a Zilian would confuse size with substance, especially one bringing along a walking carpet,” Fessin replied, voice friendly despite the contents of the words.
Neither of the two had any animosity to one another. Milek greatly enjoyed her rival’s entries as he brought along unusual creatures from his world. No matter who won this day, and Milek was certain it would be one of the two again this year, they would go out and have a few drinks and catch each other up on their families.
Fessin was using two of his hands to massage oil into the gunluk’s skin while he held a tablet in his other two. “Did you see we have a new species entering this year?”
“No,” Milek replied, setting her comb down to the chagrin of the strider. She was jealous of Fessin’s extra pair of appendages. Four was better than two. “Let me take a look.”
Taking her own tablet, she scanned the entry list. There, near the end, was an unusual name.
Human.
It was a species that was discovered in an unusual sector of the galaxy. The Humans’ home star system was on the more intense side of habitable for intelligent species, pushing the boundaries of what scientists considered livable. Brighter than nearly 85% of all the stars in the galaxy, their home star, called Sol, was at the upper bound of effective heat before the system would become too hostile and too unstable.
As such, along with its active heliosphere, it had gone unnoticed until earlier in the year when a Human exploration craft found its way to a nearby star system and bumped into a long-haul freighter.
Because of how recent the species entered the galactic community, little was known about them. All they had was the species survey that was sent to the Galactic Council for any new species that discovers faster than light travel. It was a marvel one of their members even became aware of the IPGS.
Fessin belted out a long laugh. “You need to check out their survey. It’s a riot.”
Milek loaded the Council site and looked up the Human submission. The document read like a bad holofiction.
“Wow, and I thought we Zilian were insecure. We told the Council we secreted a venom that made us poisonous to eat,” Milek chuckled as she read the document.
Fessin also laughed uproariously. “And we Ominians claimed our exterior was a hard shell that shattered upon biting, leading to lacerations in the mouth. Little did we know that none of the species that develop intelligence are predatory.”
The pair shared in the mirth of their terror in meeting new species for the first time. Every species went through the same process. They’d all find out they weren’t alone in the galaxy, become afraid then lie on the survey to scare off potential threats. It was a time-honored tradition that every species went through, along with the friendly mockery that came with it after they discovered that nothing out in space was going to eat them.
These Humans though? They must be unusually weak and timid among the intelligent species. Instead of just one or maybe two faked defensive measures, the Humans created a litany of absurdities.
“Look at this,” Milek snorted. “The Humans listed their home gravity as triple the highest ever recorded. The figure is so high that the only way they could have passed the first space travel filter would be to load up an immense quantity of explosives into a pile and detonate it while sitting on it. No one is that insane.”
“This is another good one,” Fessin added. “They claim here to be able to run for such distances that they’d consider the longest recorded run at the Pan Galactic Games a gentle stroll.”
The list of inane claims went on and on. Ranging from claiming the ability to launch projectiles by hand at speeds capable of crushing the bones and organs of every intelligent species in the galaxy all the way to claiming they ate meat. Meat! Everyone knows predators never develop complex social structures. They’re just too violent.
“This is too much,” Milek guffawed. “They’re trying to scare us off saying they routinely fight each other with weapons so wild that it would make speculative fiction writers blush.”
“Right,” Fessin added. “The only things I can believe out of any of this is that they’re tiny. They average half my height. No one would lie about being that small. Yet they simultaneously claim that their young children can routinely lift masses greater than our most accomplished power lifters.”
“We’ll be lucky then,” Milek stated. “We get to see one in person here. Assuming its arrival isn’t also a fabrication.”
The pair quickly moved on from the poor storytelling that the Humans concocted and made small talk about other competitors. The two, while intrigued by the other entrants in their pens, knew they’d be the top pair this year.
“Oh, I think our Human has arrived,” Fessin commented, gesturing toward the registration desk visible beyond the doorway to the pens. Beyond it, a small, bipedal creature was standing before the table.
One thing the pair noted was the Humans didn’t fabricate their size. The Human, Milek noted was male based on the notes in the survey, was so small that the registration desk was level with his chin. The Human had to extend his ambulatory propulsion extremity to give him enough boost to reach the registry form.
“What is he wearing?” Fessin asked as he regarded the new species. Similar conversations were happening all over the room as every entrant present was enamored by the new arrival.
“I’ll check,” Milek said as she lifted her tablet and pointed it in the direction of the Human. The device captured his image and, after Milek mentally requested the information, began analyzing the garments.
Thankfully, the Humans had made enough cultural data available that the system was able to answer their questions. The Human was wearing layered garments on its upper body. The first layer against its skin, a white cloth, was called a button-down shirt. She couldn’t see the buttons since it was overlaid by a second layer, a covering designed in grey with rhombus shapes in the cloth, called a wool sweater vest.
The lower extremities were tan leggings referred to as khaki chinos held up by a darker brown belt around the central point of the Human’s body. The lower ambulatory extremities were concealed by a garment called Oxfords.
Everything about the outfit felt non-threatening and almost silly to Milek and Fessin. They knew from this initial glance that the Humans had wildly overexaggerated the threat they presented to the galaxy. There would be many fun times to be had with future Human friends over this.
Strangely, though, the receptionist, a male Ipinan, appeared frozen in fear. The pair wondered why this was. Then the Human rotated its head and peered through the door.
Milek and Fessin both gasped in tandem. The Human had front facing eyes. This was something that no other species in the galactic community possessed and was a common hallmark of predatory species around the galaxy.
Milek calmed when she looked closer and noticed a device perched on the Human’s nose. The device held a pair of vision correcting lenses that the Human peered through. Noticing the Human’s weakened eyesight, she realized that the eye placement must be some form of adaptive camouflage to dissuade predation.
“I don’t see why they needed to lie when all they had to do was post a visual of their faces,” Fessin commented.
Milek nodded in agreement. “That’s true. One look at those eyes and that would be enough to scare off most threats.”
Still, that didn’t explain the Ipinan’s abject terror, something the Human was oblivious to. Which was fair since the Humans were still new to the galactic community and couldn’t know the nuances of each of the member species.
The Human held in one of its five-digit hands a rope of some sort that loosely stretched out of view through the door. Anticipation rose in Milek and Fessin when they noticed the rope. This was going to be the Human’s entrant in the IPGS.
After completing the form, the Ipinan rigidly pointed into the pens area. The Human entered the room and what followed caused every species present, Milek and Fessin included, to freeze up in panic.
Attached to the other end of the rope was a vicious predatory creature. While smaller than the Human, the animal’s back reached the level of the Human’s knees, the quadrupedal animal oozed predatory vibes. Its fur coat was a mixture of whites and tans, colors that would have made it difficult to identify in arid environments.
Long ears hung down from the sides of its head, indicating it had a powerful sense of hearing. A long snout with a black nose showed off the terror of its scent senses. This creature could hear and smell its prey, making it difficult, if not impossible, to hide.
The worst was the muzzle. Hanging open, it displayed rows upon rows of sharp white teeth as it breathed heavily, tongue hanging to the side. It was mocking the room, showing off what it would use to rend their flesh and the organ it would use to taste their meat.
And the Human had it casually attached to a rope. He walked it into the room with little care and didn’t even seem concerned the dangerous animal was walking behind him.
“I think we can calm down,” Fessin said, suddenly finding his ability to move. “See that object on the animal’s neck?”
Milek forced her eyes to take in the predator. Around its neck was a red band that was clasped by a silver buckle. Her muscles loosened when she saw it. “Oh thank goodness! The Human isn’t insane. He has it contained by a control collar.”
The pair realized the rope must be the input device to keep the predator sedated. The Human was showing off how they managed to survive on their world and keep predators in-check. Other species would create complex mazes to protect their homes or create harmless trap and release systems to relocate dangerous predators. The Humans must have found a way to suppress the predator’s higher functions.
Of course, the Galactic Council would quickly squash this. Mental slavery, even of predator species, was highly frowned upon. The Human present would be given a grace pass since they are ignorant of the wider community’s laws and standards.
As the realization filtered through the room, everyone calmed and took this as an opportunity to get an up-close look at a predator outside of a game preserve.
The Human’s lips curled up, something the notes called a smile, and nodded to the other contestants. Milek noticed the small translation device affixed to his ear, something that he would need while the Humans learned Galactic Standard.
Quietly, the Human went and sat in his own waiting area. Milek noted his strange gait and the strange gait of his captured predator. It looked like they were carefully taking steps, like they didn’t want to hit the ground too hard. She wondered why they felt like they were moving in slow motion.
Milek also took note of the musculature of the Human. Visible under its thin skin, it flexed and moved smoothly. Something in her instincts screamed that maybe the strength claim was not a fabrication. Yet it was moving so slowly that it looked like it was struggling under the gravity on the planet.
After more small talk and murmuring around the room, the announcement came over the speakers to relocate to the main competition hall.
Everyone filed out in order of their entry numbers to parade their entrants before the crowd. A small warning was sent out that there would be one predatory animal entry and it was safely contained. This would be necessary for the Human’s animal when it entered the main hall to avoid a mass freeze.
Taking a deep breath, Milek led her strider out into the main hall at the head of the procession. The winner of the prior year’s competition always received the honor of leading the line.
Exiting a tunnel, Milek took in the massive arena. A long oval, the arena was ringed by display pens for each contestant and was so large it could hold a half a million spectators. Sure, compared to the trillions of residents of the galaxy, a half million wasn’t an impressive number. More popular events could attract billions of viewers on the holos.
Still, old instincts were present in every species. A half million spectators was logically a fringe event. Yet it still felt like a massive crowd to the instinctual mind.
Milek’s step increased as she and her well-trained strider gracefully pranced into the arena. First impressions were always important in these events. A failed entry could spell doom with the judges.
After reaching her station at the end, Milek secured her strider and turned and watched the other entrants as she caught her breath from the long run. Mainly, the Human. She observed him at the back of the procession as he followed the line.
The Human and his mind-controlled predator appeared to be struggling. They clumsily moved along the rear of the group like he was having a hard time matching the pace. More niggling instincts said the Human was used to moving at a pace far faster than the run the contestants entered at.
Yet the way his body moved made her think Humans were from a low gravity world. The steps were slow and methodical, making it a poor showing as he clumsily followed the back of the procession. The animal was trying to high step its legs in a prance, yet its rhythm was off. This must be because the Human was struggling with maintaining its own pace while sending signals to the predator at the same time.
Milek felt bad for the Human. It had traveled most of the way across the galaxy to show off his homeworld’s animals just to fight against the gravity and put on a weak showing in the initial phase. Maybe he could recover in the individual event.
Milek moved on to the individual phase. Once again, being the winner came with the advantage of going first. Many assumed going last was beneficial since it would be the most recent performance for the judges. Milek knew better. The crowd would tire as would the judges over the hours it took to go through all the entries.
Milek’s display went as well as she could hope. Her strider gracefully galloped around the arena, showing off its beautifully flowing hair. The silky coat streamed behind like flags and, when it ran, the animal’s coat sparkled in the arena lights.
The clapping was the best she had heard in many years. Confident, Milek watched her friend Fessin throw fruit at his gunluk, which snatched it out of the air and ate. It was an interesting display and, had Milek not brought a strider, would have been good for the win. She was already planning what she would say to her friend after the event when he held his second place ribbon.
The rest of the entrants went as expected. Various animals were displayed and walked across the yard. Few animals brought were ever sophisticated enough to perform basic tasks like Fessin’s gunluk or could equal the pure beauty of the strider.
Finally, it was the Human’s turn. Going last, much of the crowd had already filtered out of the arena and the judges appeared to be tiring. The poor guy would struggle to gain their attention.
Strangely, the Human left his controlled predator in the pen and began walking around the arena. He placed devices on the ground in various places and returned to his pen. Taking out a tablet of his own, he pressed the surface. Then the devices sprouted out various hard light constructs.
Tunnels, ramps, boards on pivot points and an array of rods closely placed in a line sprouted up all over the arena. Milek was intrigued by what the Human was intending to do.
The Human led the animal out of the pen and to one end of the arena. Then she froze in panic as did the judges and the remaining spectators. The Human had reached down and released the control collar from the predator. It was now loose!
Surprise rose in Milek’s mind when the predator didn’t immediately rampage and rip the Human’s throat out. Instead, it stood still on all four of its legs, nose pointed out and mouth closed. It had an intense look in its front facing eyes and its muscles flexed.
Then the Human ran. Its speed and grace was unbelievable. Making a noise, the animal then followed along. Milek was afraid the predator had come to its senses and was aiming to kill the Human.
Then it didn’t. The Human would gesture at the different hard light constructs and the predator, with a blazing speed even greater than the Human’s, would run at them.
The animal streaked up and down ramps. The creature balanced on the pivoted board and allowed its weight to lower it down the other end, displaying the terrifying intelligence the predator possessed. Its speed was shown off when it bolted into a long, curved tunnel and shot out of the other end. Its agility was presented when it quickly weaved in and out of the closely placed rods.
All the while, the Human continued to bound at speed across the arena in his sweater vest and Oxford shoes, garments that did not look like they were designed for athletic achievement.
Then, after the pair rapidly ran from one end of the arena to the other through the obstacle course, the Human ended the display. The animal sat before the Human and patiently waited. The Human reached into a pocket in the chino pants and retrieved a brown strip. Milek’s instincts repulsed when she caught the odor of meat. The Human handed the strip to the animal, which ate it and then waited.
Horror filled Milek when she realized what had just occurred. The Human didn’t mind control the predator. He had tamed the predator.
The Human replaced the collar and, now without the restrictions of the line, far more gracefully led the animal back to their pen after which he collected his hard light emitters.
It took a few minutes for the crowd and judges to regain their senses. After a few more minutes of deliberation, the judges announced they had made a decision. A podium was brought into the arena and names were announced.
As Milek expected, her name was announced as the winner with Fessin taking second place. A Rukkin’s fabilisa earned third.
While happy with her victory, Milek felt it was unearned. The Human had made a display never before seen in galactic history. He had brought a predator, a tamed one at that, and easily displayed it to a crowd. She knew fear and bias kept the judges from voting for his animal.
She nudged Fessin. “Join me, I want to talk with the Human.”
Fessin looked nervously over at the Human’s waiting area. No other contestant or spectator had gone anywhere near his space. Even his neighbors had quickly vacated after the announcement. “Are you sure? That animal…I don’t know. It’s terrifying.”
Milek agreed. However, she knew something else was more important. “Fessin, we’re being rude. This is the Human’s first experience outside of its home and we’re avoiding him. Come, we need to introduce ourselves and show that the galaxy is a friendly place.”
Hesitating a moment, the pair gathered their courage and approached the Human. The Human looked up and bared his teeth at the pair. Milek froze when she saw the teeth. There in his mouth, along with the expected plant molars and cutting incisors, were sharp teeth designed to consume meat.
The Human quickly put his hand over his mouth to conceal his teeth. “I’m dreadfully sorry. I forgot that showing teeth is considered hostile. Please forgive my breach of decorum, we show teeth on my planet when we’re happy.”
Fessin swallowed hard next to Milek. “That’s fine. We all have our species body language we have to be careful to control. Accidental offense is common, so we don’t take it. I’m Fessin.”
“I’m Milek,” Milek said as she tried to fight against the fear that looking at the Human’s front facing eyes gave her. She also noticed the Human’s breathing was steady and slow. He had just made a lengthy run from one end of the arena to the other and showed no sign of exertion at all. They hadn’t lied on the survey about their ability to run distances.
“You can call me Arthur. This was quite the experience. Petunia here also enjoyed it greatly,” he said, bending over and rubbing a hand over the top of the animal’s head. The creature’s tongue lolled out and it panted when the hand contacted the fur.
“Can I ask what you call that animal?” Fessin asked, staring at Arthur casually contacting a vicious predator.
“Ah, yes. These are what we call dogs. These types of shows are common back on Earth, though we usually only have dogs in them. This particular dog is a breed known as a King Charles Spaniel. Beautiful and graceful they are,” Arthur said as he spoke of the animal like it was a strider.
Milek marveled at how controlling these animals was so common that the Humans had pet shows specifically dedicated to them. She also took note of the animal’s name. King. Yes, that was appropriate for such a dangerous beast. It was truly a king among predators.
Arthur then turned his mouth down. “Sadly, it seems we have quite a bit of stiff competition out here in the galaxy. Big fish, small pond as they say back home. I had hoped our display would have given a better impression on the judges.”
Milek didn’t want to ruin his impression of the galactic community by telling him the judges were too scared of his King to ever grant it any points. So she gave a smaller lie. “I think it was the entry that caused issue. You seemed to be uncoordinated.”
Arthur balled up one of his appendages and punched it into the other. The loud slap from the immense force scared Milek and Fessin. “Of course! That must have been it. The entry is quite important after all. You see, we didn’t properly practice under this gravity.”
“That’s important,” Fessin said. “This planet’s gravity is on the heavier side this year. Next year will be on a more average planet.”
Arthur’s head cocked to the side, “Too heavy? No, sorry, it’s quite too light for us. Maybe a third or so of what we’re used to. Maybe I’ll have to compensate next year by fashioning up a weight vest. That should offset some of the difficulty walking. I have to be careful or I’ll bounce up in the air like a lunatic.”
To demonstrate, Arthur bounded up so high that the bottoms of his Oxford shoes were level with Milek’s eyes. He let out a sound that sounded mirthful. “Oh my, this is fun. Reminds me of holiday on Mars.”
More horror came to Milek in that moment. How high Arthur casually leapt in the air made her think that even more of that survey wasn’t a cover to scare the galactic community. It was looking to be true. All of it.
“So, uh, how long have you managed to tame these dogs? The technology would be valuable on other planets to keep predators in check,” Fessin said as he backed away slightly from Arthur in fear.
Arthur looked down at the animal. “Technology? Oh no, we’ve been friends for around, oh, 30,000 years, give or take. It was before written history, so we have to estimate based on genetic information and archaeology.”
Milek’s eyes went wide. These Humans had tamed a wild predator before they could even write.
Arthur continued, “Humans and dogs, or wolves they came from, are quite compatible. They can run long distances like us. We share complex hunting and social groups. We have strong coordination abilities. It was a perfect match provided by random evolutionary chance.”
Milek’s worries grew when she started to understand what just stepped onto the galactic stage. A strong, fast predatory animal with intelligence and social coordination just entered the broader community.
“Can we expect you again next year,” Milek asked, lacking anything else to say and not wanting to offend the dangerous Human before her.
The Human’s mouth turned up, “Probably not.”
Milek and Fessin both felt relief at the statement.
“It’ll be my wife’s turn. She has a wonderful Irish Wolfhound pup she’s working with that will be ready for show next year,” Arthur said in a tone that sounded like pride.
Milek and Fessin turned to look at each other. They knew that they’d still go and, whatever this Irish Wolfhound thing may be, it couldn’t be any worse than what they just saw. It was a King after all. Nothing was scarier than a King.
Part 2 Here
2024.04.10 22:26 participating [Newbie Thread] WoT Read-Along - Towers of Midnight - Final Thoughts & Trivia
Any veteran reader who comments in the newbie thread will be banned from WoT for 5 days. Please read the full the rules before commenting.
This is the newbie thread. Visit the veteran thread if you have already read the series.
For more information, or to see the full schedule for all previous entries, please see the wiki page for the read-along.
BOOK THIRTEEN SCHEDULE
This week we will be discussing Book Thirteen: Towers of Midnight, as a whole.
Next week we will be discussing Book Fourteen: A Memory of Light, Prologue and Chapter 1.
In lieu of chapter summaries this week, I have some information to present to you. Some of the information comes from outside interviews, or are the culmination of fan speculation to reach a consensus on certain unclear events that aren't elaborated on in future books.
As a caveat, nothing I write below can in any way be considered a spoiler. I will be providing a few bits of trivia that, while not in and of themselves spoilers, do concretely answer some questions that have been asked, whose answers have been revealed by the end of this book, but in easy to miss ways. I will, however, be placing this trivia behind spoiler tags for those who wish to avoid it.
Beyond that, I'd like everyone to use this thread to give their overall thoughts on this book. Let us know your predictions going forward, your favorite characters, things you liked and disliked about it. Feel free to ask open ended questions, or for clarification if you feel you didn't understand something.
PREVIOUS TRIVIA
Here are links to the trivia posts for the previous books, in case you missed them:
I have compiled a list of all of the prophecies you have encountered to date. It has now been updated with the prophecies from this book. You can find a link to each book's prophecies from this wiki page. The prophecies are presented as they are found in the books, completely spoiler free, with no comment as to when or if they've been fulfilled.
TIMELINE / GOING FORWARD
Well, up until now, I've done the best job I can at providing you with an accurate timeline. Going forward, things get difficult. I've made the choice to not continue the chapter dates for the last book, and I'll explain my reasoning for that in the trivia for the last book. Here is a quick section about the timeline as it stands now, with technical spoilers for the structure of the last book, but I don't think it's worth avoiding reading: As of the end of this book, everyone's storylines are in sync, with the "current date" being July 1st. The exception is the single Lan POV in the epilogue, which takes place on July 2nd. Now that the timelines are sync'd from the last two books, the final book will proceed linearly. You should more or less be able to tell how far along the story progresses and there will be no unannounced or unclear flashbacks. As I said above, I'll have a bit more to say about the timeline at the end of the next book, but I don't foresee any overt confusion about the progression of the story. You're welcome to ask, should you get confused, and I'll answer if I can.
Here is how long this book spanned: 71 days (or 70 days + Lan's epilogue scene on July 2). There was 42 days of overlap with The Gathering Storm.
It has been this long since the start of the series: 832 days (or 831 days + Lan's epilogue scene on July 2)
IN THE F@#CKING GLOSSARY?!
I didn't have a super detailed plan when I started the read-along. However, I did start some sections of the trivia solely because I knew there would be payoffs in later books. The glossary section of the trivia posts was one, and it has finally come to fruition. Prepare yourself to be whelmed! Graendal killed Asmodean. What?! you say? That came out of nowhere! Of course it did, unless you've read the glossary for this book:
Robert Jordan repeatedly claimed the mystery of who killed Asmodean was "intuitively obvious to the most casual observer" and was confused as to why it was such a mystery to fans. 10 years prior to the release of Towers of Midnight, a fanfic depicting Sherlock Holmes deducing the identity of Asmodean's killer to Watson circulated among the fandom and became pretty popular. I don't think Sanderson ever confirmed it, but it is likely the article Jordan left the Post-It note on. Feel free to read the fanfic here. The page itself is free from spoilers of any sort.
SIMILAR SIMILARITIES
In the previous trivia post, for The Gathering Storm, I mentioned that Jordan wrote enough material to be spread across the prologues of the final three books. (As well as other scenes, but I won't be mentioned those until the end). This is the section written by Jordan in the prologue for this book: The fort in the Borderlands.
A comment on Mat's character: Some of you felt that Mat was a bit off last book. Sanderson agrees with you. He's commented before that Mat was one of the hardest characters for him to get right. In my opinion, he steadily increased each book and Mat is appropriately "himself" in A Memory of Light.
LITHIUM
Also mentioned in the last trivia post, the community gravitated towards the term "Darth Rand" when referring to Rand at his darkest moments. In this book, the community coined the term "Zen Rand" and you'll usually see that when referring to Rand in his current state. "Jesus Rand" is also another popular name for him.
LOVE PENTAGRAM > RHOMBUS OF LOVE
Rand's relationships are the source of countless discussion on /WoT and other Wheel of Time spaces. I call it the Rhombus of Love, but there isn't really a solidified fandom term for it. For all the talk it gets though, there is an even more powerful love polygon hidden in the background of the series. It often goes unnoticed, but is wild once you see an image of the Love Pentagram. I shall share the image here, without commentary. I think it speaks for itself.
JAIN FARSTRIDER DIED CLEAN
The circumstances surrounding Jain Farstrider are some of the longest running, deepest lore cuts in the entire series. I've considered bringing some of the information in this trivia to light at multiple points throughout the read-along, but it never felt appropriate. Given the opportunity, I would probably bring up some of this during the trivia for The Eye of the World. We (the vets) discussed it at the time and thought it would be too leading, but given how things turned out, it may have been more impactful to bring it up earlier than now. With that said, let's dive in...
We learn at the end of The Eye of the World that a man named Cowin Gemallan Fairheart, a nobleman of Malkier and Darkfriend, attempted a coup that ultimately resulted in the fall of Malkier. A young Jain Charin, already known as Jain Farstrider, was also a Malkieri, hunted Cowin down, bringing him back to the Seven Towers in chains. This happened around the year 955 NE. He would go on to publish his exploits in The Travels of Jain Farstrider in 968 NE, and then disappeared in 981 NE, after a trip into the Blight.
In Knife of Dreams, "Noal" is talking to Olver about Jain Farstrider, and says the following:
After he left the Ogier, he shed the Jain Farstrider identity and became Noal Charin. He devoted his life to hunting down other Darkfriends, trying to atone. The phrasing Ba'alazmon used, "thinking he was free of me," becomes relevant. Loial states that the man intended to go to Tar Valon to give them warning as well, but he never made it. He turns up again in the prologue of The Fires of Heaven. Rahvin goes to visit Graendal and notes the following:
Jain's sacrifice in the Tower of Ghenjei is his final attempt at redemption. He believes he abandoned his wife and became a Darkfriend. And he believes his countrymen, the Malkieri, know about his activities. His last request is essentially asking Mat to clear his name.
EMPLOYEES MUST WEAR HAIRNET AT ALL TIMES
This is a bit of trivia I cut from the Winter's Heart trivia post because it got too long. It concerns the ornaments Cadsuane wears in her hair. We do finally get a name for the set of ter'angreal Cadsuane wears in her hair. Rand calls it a "paralis-net". It seems to be a general term for a set of ter'angreal that work together. Nynaeve's set of jewelry that she wears might possibly be a paralis-net. And it's speculated that Lanfear had one as well, before Moiraine tackled her into the redstone doorway. She was always described as wearing silver pendants in the shapes of moons and stars. Cadsuane got hers from an old Wilder who trained her in the years shortly after she became an Aes Sedai. Below is a list of Cadsuane's ornaments and their functions. This information comes from a combination of the books and some information provided by Jordan's notes/interviews.
PRECOCIOUS PUPIL
This is a quick bit of trivia about Nicola Treehill. Nicola spent the entire series trying to rush ahead of herself. She wanted to follow in Egwene's footsteps, but acted as kind of a foil to the advancement we see from the Wonder Girls. She met an untimely end when she entered Tel'aran'riod unauthorized. Egwene had given her a ter'angreal to pass some messages in the World of Dreams with the express purpose of baiting an attack from the Black Ajah. The bait worked, but Nicola used the ter'angreal during that battle and was kill in the crossfire. From Jordan's notes, it was revealed that, in true Nicola fashion, she rushed ahead and bonded her friend Areina (the woman who idolized Birgitte in Salidar) as her Warder. She likely died in a rage when Nicola died, however, the Companion lists her fate as "unknown", so it's possible she was saved.
ON GENDER AND SOULS
This is a quick commentary on how Jordan chose to do his world building. According to Robert Jordan, souls are gendered, and the ability to channel is tied to one's soul. The strength of a channeler's soul doesn't appear to vary. Although it can be influenced by physical properties temporarily, such as the Finn draining Moiraine and Lanfear; their reborn souls in another Age would return to their default/stronger values. Also, no one can channel during the 1st Age (our current Age), regardless of the soul's ability.
Jordan made a few comments in interviews, in reply to specific questions, that souls were gendered and seemingly always wind up in the correct bodies. The only attempt Jordan makes in the books to display anything like transgenderism is with Halima. I'd like to stress that this information comes from him answering on the spot question, usually in front of a large audience. I think that Jordan was ahead of his time in talking about gender dynamics, and he wanted to focus on that, and the zeitgeist of the time was centered around that. The entire language and terminology around transgender identities didn't even exist when Jordan was writing the series. I think if he started the series today, it would play a more prominent role in the story, and I don't think anyone should be told off for questioning and theorycrafting how a trans person would exist or function in the 3rd Age. I also don't think Jordan should be penalized for only being 20 years ahead of his time, instead of 30. He chose to build his world in a specific way and that's all he chose to focus on.
So that said, there were some user questions about female Dragons. Jordan stated that there was a female equivalent to the Dragon, but she would never be born in the 3rd Age and undergo Rand's journey. She'd never earn the title Dragon or Dragon reborn. Instead, he simple referred to her as the female Champion of the Light. Her name is Amaresu and she is a Hero of the Horn, just like Rand/LTT is. She is the real-world parallel to the Japanese Sun Goddess, Amaterasu.
WEAK SAUCE
Some information about Moiraine: In the trivia post for Winter's Heart, I provided you with a ranking of all the important channelers in the series with their strength levels. Moiraine's new, weakened strength is the only entry I left off of that list. Moiraine's reduced strength is level 66(54), which is 6 steps above Morgase. The angreal she possesses is so strong it's almost a sa'angreal. We don't know exactly how strong it makes her, but with it she is stronger than she was before the Finns took her.
SO TOWER, MUCH MIDNIGHT
This is a quick discussion about the meaning of this book's title, Towers of Midnight. Unlike some other books, the title for this book is maybe too obvious, or overly represented in the book. I went to go research, to make sure I got all of the meanings, and the top result was my own comment from 4 years ago. This happens about half the time I need to look something up about the Wheel of Time. I may comment way too much in this subreddit...
Anyway, hooray for my past self making this section easy to write. CTRL+C, CTRL+V: This is kind of a catch-all metaphor title. The literal Towers of Midnight (in Seanchan) include 13 towers, this is book 13. Lots of Black Tower machinations happen in this book. Black = Midnight Tower. Egwene has a Dream about various 13 towers rising and falling, which represent the 13 Forsaken (= Evil = Black = Midnight). Various "tower" related plots in general: Black Tower, White Tower, Tower of Genji. Seven Towers of Malkier if you want to stretch the metaphor to include Lan's journey in the book. The Epilogue/ending poem is the dark prophecy that includes mention of Perrin/Hopper and "Midnight Towers". All in all, it's more relevant than Knife of Dreams.
ADVANCED NORSE MYTHOLOGY
In this book, we have the culmination of Perrin's arch to embody the "real events" that led to the mythological Norse god Thor. He has crafted Mah'alleinir, which many of you caught sounds an awful lot like Mjölnir.
Way back in the trivia post for The Shadow Rising I outlined how Mat embodied Odin. I almost left out that section of the trivia because I thought it might be too leading. If you know your Norse mythology, you know that Odin only has one eye. Lesser known is why. In his thirst for knowledge, Odin plucked his own eye out and sacrificed it to the Well of Urd, allowing him to drink from it and gain knowledge/wisdom. It seems no one caught the similarities at the time. It wasn't until around The Path of Daggers when I introduced the prophecies wiki pages that some of you re-read through them and started theorizing about "half the light of the world".
VERIIIIIIIIIIIIN
There were many questions surrounding Verin's decision to drink poison and reveal herself to Egwene. This section tries to clear up the timeline and reasoning behind her actions. First, to address the questions I've seen of why Verin didn't tell Egwene about the attack in Caemlyn. If you've been paying attention, there have been a lot of letters with red wax seals in various characters' possession. Verin was very thorough in her delegation. She has been telling specific people specific things, relative to where they are in the world and what spheres of influence they have. She had limited time with Egwene and assumed she had Caemlyn handled with the letter she left Mat. Unfortunately, she underestimated how well she knew Matrim Cauthon.
And her letter to Mat is what sealed her doom. As I've mentioned, the timeline of these two books is nebulous at best. The reason Verin poisoned herself was because she couldn't violate her Oaths to the Dark One. She had to be dead before the date Mat could/would have opened the letter, because in that letter she betrays the Dark One. Had she been able to release herself of the Oaths with the Oath Rod, she could have Travelled back to Mat, taken the letter, and just told him about the attack. With limited time due to her misunderstanding of Mat's stubbornness, she made the choice to poison herself and reveal what she knew about the Black Ajah to Egwene.
Also, because I couldn't find a better time to mention it. I saw some comments speculating, but I just want to confirm that Verin did use her custom form of Compulsion on all of the White Tower Aes Sedai that were captured at Dumai's Wells. She Compelled them all to swear fealty to Rand, even Elza Penfell, who she knew was a member of the Black Ajah.
LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE, PART 2
In the 2000's and 2010's a website called suvudu.com (gone now, it redirects you to one of those spam celebrity article sites) ran yearly "tournaments" where they pitted characters from popular sci-fi and fantasy novels against each other in death matches. The authors of the respective books were invited to write short stories about how they thought such a fight would play out. Wheel of Time characters featured prominently in 3 different years. I'll share one in the trivia of each of these last 3 books (for spoiler purposes, do not go searching them out).
The 2011 match ups featured Perrin. He was paired up against Tasslehoff Burrfoot from the Dragonlance series, which he won. Perrin then lost in his next round against Quick Ben from the Malazan series. Sanderson didn't do extensive write-ups this year, but he did have the following to say about Perrin's match up with Tasslehoff:
In the trivia post for The Path of Daggers, I shared some YouTube videos, created by Luinedhel, that depicted various battles in the series in an animated fashion. Feel free to take your time to watch these and comment on them later if you'd like.
Important: I try really hard to keep you all spoiler free. The only thing I can't control are external resources like this that I link to you. I would strongly suggest a few actions on your part to help remain spoiler free. First, don't like or subscribe (though, after the read-along, doing so would benefit the YouTuber). You should be fine to watch the video as an embedded link, but if it takes you directly to YouTube to watch it, try to find a way to watch it incognito. Both of these are to prevent being suggested other videos by him, or other YouTubers that may have spoilery titles. Lastly, do not read the comments or descriptions of the videos, or look at any of the recommended videos. (The end card suggested videos may seem safe, but I've watched all of them by this user. The other ones have subtle spoilers for the last book and should be avoided. I'll share this channel again in the final trivia post and it will then be safe to watch the rest of the videos.)
The first video is The Battle of Shadar Logoth, otherwise known as the Cleansing. I would have shared this video earlier, but it spoils the hammer Perrin creates in this book.
The next two videos are The Battle of Serana and The Battle of Darluna, which illustrate Rodel Ituralde's campaign against the Seanchan on the Almoth Plain.
The next video is The Battle of the Malvide Narrows; Mat's campaign against the Seanchan as he attempts to flee Altara.
This video is The Battle of Malden, which shows Perrin's assault on the town of Malden in order to free a captive Faile.
The last video is The Battle of Tar Valon and outlines the Seanchan raid on the White Tower.
MEMES
We have a sister subreddit called /WetlanderHumor. /WoT does not allow memes, so /WetlanderHumor is the place for them. Unfortunately, it's only open to people who have finished the series, since they do not have any sort of spoiler policies. I've personally vetted these memes, so you will not be spoiled for anything beyond the end of this book.
CLICK HERE FOR MEMES
READER QUESTIONS
There were a few questions asked by various readers throughout the read through of this book. They did not receive clear answers from other readers, or explicitly from the books, so I will be answering them here. I will be including that section as a stickied comment below.
submitted by participating to WoT [link] [comments]
This is the newbie thread. Visit the veteran thread if you have already read the series.
For more information, or to see the full schedule for all previous entries, please see the wiki page for the read-along.
BOOK THIRTEEN SCHEDULE
This week we will be discussing Book Thirteen: Towers of Midnight, as a whole.
- January 31, 2024: Prologue and Chapters 1 through 4
- February 7, 2024: Chapters 5 through 11
- February 14, 2024: Chapters 12 through 16
- February 21, 2024: Chapters 17 through 20
- February 28, 2024: Chapters 21 through 24
- March 6, 2024: Chapters 25 through 31
- March 13, 2024: Chapters 32 through 38
- March 20, 2024: Chapters 39 through 46
- March 27, 2024: Chapters 47 through 52
- April 3, 2024: Chapters 53 through 57 and Epilogue
- April 10, 2024: Towers of Midnight - Final Thoughts & Trivia <--- You are here.
Next week we will be discussing Book Fourteen: A Memory of Light, Prologue and Chapter 1.
- April 17, 2024: Prologue and Chapter 1
- April 24, 2024: Chapters 2 through 6
- May 1, 2024: Chapters 7 through 12
- May 8, 2024: Chapters 13 through 18
- May 15, 2024: Chapters 19 through 24
- May 22, 2024: Chapters 25 through 30
- May 29, 2024: Chapters 31 through 36
- June 5, 2024: Chapter 37 (Part 1)
- June 12, 2024: Chapter 37 (Part 2)
- June 19, 2024: Chapters 38 through 49 and Epilogue
- June 26, 2024: A Memory of Light - Final Thoughts & Trivia
- July 3, 2024: Short Stories
- July 10, 2024: The Wheel of Time - Final Thoughts & Trivia
In lieu of chapter summaries this week, I have some information to present to you. Some of the information comes from outside interviews, or are the culmination of fan speculation to reach a consensus on certain unclear events that aren't elaborated on in future books.
As a caveat, nothing I write below can in any way be considered a spoiler. I will be providing a few bits of trivia that, while not in and of themselves spoilers, do concretely answer some questions that have been asked, whose answers have been revealed by the end of this book, but in easy to miss ways. I will, however, be placing this trivia behind spoiler tags for those who wish to avoid it.
Beyond that, I'd like everyone to use this thread to give their overall thoughts on this book. Let us know your predictions going forward, your favorite characters, things you liked and disliked about it. Feel free to ask open ended questions, or for clarification if you feel you didn't understand something.
PREVIOUS TRIVIA
Here are links to the trivia posts for the previous books, in case you missed them:
- The Eye of the World
- The Great Hunt
- The Dragon Reborn
- The Shadow Rising
- The Fires of Heaven
- Lord of Chaos
- A Crown of Swords
- The Path of Daggers
- Winter's Heart
- Crossroads of Twilight
- New Spring
- In Memoriam: The Life And Death of Robert Jordan
- Knife of Dreams
- Introductions - Brandon Sanderson and The End Of The Wheel of Time
- The Gathering Storm
I have compiled a list of all of the prophecies you have encountered to date. It has now been updated with the prophecies from this book. You can find a link to each book's prophecies from this wiki page. The prophecies are presented as they are found in the books, completely spoiler free, with no comment as to when or if they've been fulfilled.
TIMELINE / GOING FORWARD
Well, up until now, I've done the best job I can at providing you with an accurate timeline. Going forward, things get difficult. I've made the choice to not continue the chapter dates for the last book, and I'll explain my reasoning for that in the trivia for the last book. Here is a quick section about the timeline as it stands now, with technical spoilers for the structure of the last book, but I don't think it's worth avoiding reading: As of the end of this book, everyone's storylines are in sync, with the "current date" being July 1st. The exception is the single Lan POV in the epilogue, which takes place on July 2nd. Now that the timelines are sync'd from the last two books, the final book will proceed linearly. You should more or less be able to tell how far along the story progresses and there will be no unannounced or unclear flashbacks. As I said above, I'll have a bit more to say about the timeline at the end of the next book, but I don't foresee any overt confusion about the progression of the story. You're welcome to ask, should you get confused, and I'll answer if I can.
Here is how long this book spanned: 71 days (or 70 days + Lan's epilogue scene on July 2). There was 42 days of overlap with The Gathering Storm.
It has been this long since the start of the series: 832 days (or 831 days + Lan's epilogue scene on July 2)
IN THE F@#CKING GLOSSARY?!
I didn't have a super detailed plan when I started the read-along. However, I did start some sections of the trivia solely because I knew there would be payoffs in later books. The glossary section of the trivia posts was one, and it has finally come to fruition. Prepare yourself to be whelmed! Graendal killed Asmodean. What?! you say? That came out of nowhere! Of course it did, unless you've read the glossary for this book:
Graendal: One of the Forsaken. Once known as Kamarile Maradim Nindar, a noted ascetic, she was the second of the Forsaken to decide to serve the Dark One. A ruthless killer, she was responsible for the deaths of Aran'gar and Asmodean and for the destruction of Mesaana. Her present circumstances are uncertain.And the 10 book, 17 year long mystery came to a conclusion not with a bang, but a whimper. Though the reasoning behind this is pretty neat, in my opinion. I'll let Sanderson explain himself:
As for why the big secret was included in the glossary, I've said before that Harriet made the decision where it would go. I actually did suggest it, though I later changed my mind and thought I would put it in somewhere else, but she said, "No, I love this idea of the glossary." The reason I think that we like the glossary location so much is because the instruction I received from Robert Jordan was just a Post-It note that had written on it, "This is right," attached to a sheet of paper that was an explanation, one of the many, printed off from the internet, talking about who killed Asmodean. That Post-It note saying "This is right" was all there was—I didn't know the how, the why, the circumstances, any more than you know. So we felt that rather than extrapolate all of that ourselves, the best thing to do, as frustrating as it might be, was to give you the information much in the same way that we got it, as simply a "This is the person." That still allows a bit of theorizing on how this person was involved in the event, whether it was by her hand directly, or whether a servant was involved, or that sort of thing. That allows for theorizing.In other interviews, Sanderson stated that one of the first things he did when getting access to Jordan's notes was sift through them to find Asmodean's killer. He first suggested putting it in the glossary to give readers the same experience he had of finding out the answer: not in the text of the story, but as a random note. Although, if you were paying super extra close attention, you may have noticed this line in the Epilogue: "Mesaana has fallen," Shaidar Haran whispered. "Three Chosen, destroyed by your actions. The design build, a lattice of failure, a framework of incompetence." Emphasis mine.
Robert Jordan repeatedly claimed the mystery of who killed Asmodean was "intuitively obvious to the most casual observer" and was confused as to why it was such a mystery to fans. 10 years prior to the release of Towers of Midnight, a fanfic depicting Sherlock Holmes deducing the identity of Asmodean's killer to Watson circulated among the fandom and became pretty popular. I don't think Sanderson ever confirmed it, but it is likely the article Jordan left the Post-It note on. Feel free to read the fanfic here. The page itself is free from spoilers of any sort.
SIMILAR SIMILARITIES
In the previous trivia post, for The Gathering Storm, I mentioned that Jordan wrote enough material to be spread across the prologues of the final three books. (As well as other scenes, but I won't be mentioned those until the end). This is the section written by Jordan in the prologue for this book: The fort in the Borderlands.
A comment on Mat's character: Some of you felt that Mat was a bit off last book. Sanderson agrees with you. He's commented before that Mat was one of the hardest characters for him to get right. In my opinion, he steadily increased each book and Mat is appropriately "himself" in A Memory of Light.
LITHIUM
Also mentioned in the last trivia post, the community gravitated towards the term "Darth Rand" when referring to Rand at his darkest moments. In this book, the community coined the term "Zen Rand" and you'll usually see that when referring to Rand in his current state. "Jesus Rand" is also another popular name for him.
LOVE PENTAGRAM > RHOMBUS OF LOVE
Rand's relationships are the source of countless discussion on /WoT and other Wheel of Time spaces. I call it the Rhombus of Love, but there isn't really a solidified fandom term for it. For all the talk it gets though, there is an even more powerful love polygon hidden in the background of the series. It often goes unnoticed, but is wild once you see an image of the Love Pentagram. I shall share the image here, without commentary. I think it speaks for itself.
JAIN FARSTRIDER DIED CLEAN
The circumstances surrounding Jain Farstrider are some of the longest running, deepest lore cuts in the entire series. I've considered bringing some of the information in this trivia to light at multiple points throughout the read-along, but it never felt appropriate. Given the opportunity, I would probably bring up some of this during the trivia for The Eye of the World. We (the vets) discussed it at the time and thought it would be too leading, but given how things turned out, it may have been more impactful to bring it up earlier than now. With that said, let's dive in...
We learn at the end of The Eye of the World that a man named Cowin Gemallan Fairheart, a nobleman of Malkier and Darkfriend, attempted a coup that ultimately resulted in the fall of Malkier. A young Jain Charin, already known as Jain Farstrider, was also a Malkieri, hunted Cowin down, bringing him back to the Seven Towers in chains. This happened around the year 955 NE. He would go on to publish his exploits in The Travels of Jain Farstrider in 968 NE, and then disappeared in 981 NE, after a trip into the Blight.
In Knife of Dreams, "Noal" is talking to Olver about Jain Farstrider, and says the following:
He was a fool ... He went gallivanting about the world and left a good and loving wife to die of a fever without him there to hold her hand while she died. He let himself be made into a tool by--This is a reference all the way back to The Eye of the World, where Ba'alzamon made this claim:
"Jain Farstrider, a hero," he twisted the word to a sneer, "whom I painted like a fool and sent to the Ogier thinking he was free of me."This is an event that Loial later recalls to Moiraine, telling her about a man who came to Stedding Shangtai shortly after the Aiel War, on the verge of death, but then vanished again after recovering: "He said the Dark One intended to blind the Eye of the World, and slay the Great Serpent, kill time itself." This was one of several trails that Ba'alzamon laid to lure Rand to the Eye of the World. This man was Jain Farstrider. This was the result of Compulsion and abuse by Ishamael. We don't know the specifics, but Ishamael essentially manipulated Jain into being a Darkfriend, and this is the deep dark secret Noal is ashamed of, because he never realizes it was Compulsion.
After he left the Ogier, he shed the Jain Farstrider identity and became Noal Charin. He devoted his life to hunting down other Darkfriends, trying to atone. The phrasing Ba'alazmon used, "thinking he was free of me," becomes relevant. Loial states that the man intended to go to Tar Valon to give them warning as well, but he never made it. He turns up again in the prologue of The Fires of Heaven. Rahvin goes to visit Graendal and notes the following:
a large room full of pools and fluted columns, nearly nude acrobats and attendants wearing less. Oddly, a lean old man in a wrinkled coat sat disconsolately among the performers.So Jain eventually winds up in Graendal's clutches, undergoing even more Compulsion. It seems at some point, his usefulness ends and he is cast out. As Noal, he sometimes complains of difficulties with his memory, and this is the cause. Mat first runs into Noal in A Crown of Swords in Ebou Dar. Noal is watching Carridin (Bors) when Mat follows Mili Skane and watches her enter Carridin's palace there. Noal informs Mat that the place belongs to Carridin. The won't be properly introduced until Winter's Heart though, when Noal saves Mat from the gholam and Mat invites him to join his men.
Jain's sacrifice in the Tower of Ghenjei is his final attempt at redemption. He believes he abandoned his wife and became a Darkfriend. And he believes his countrymen, the Malkieri, know about his activities. His last request is essentially asking Mat to clear his name.
EMPLOYEES MUST WEAR HAIRNET AT ALL TIMES
This is a bit of trivia I cut from the Winter's Heart trivia post because it got too long. It concerns the ornaments Cadsuane wears in her hair. We do finally get a name for the set of ter'angreal Cadsuane wears in her hair. Rand calls it a "paralis-net". It seems to be a general term for a set of ter'angreal that work together. Nynaeve's set of jewelry that she wears might possibly be a paralis-net. And it's speculated that Lanfear had one as well, before Moiraine tackled her into the redstone doorway. She was always described as wearing silver pendants in the shapes of moons and stars. Cadsuane got hers from an old Wilder who trained her in the years shortly after she became an Aes Sedai. Below is a list of Cadsuane's ornaments and their functions. This information comes from a combination of the books and some information provided by Jordan's notes/interviews.
- A bird that looks "a little like a shrike" is an angreal, it is not very powerful but still steps her up to the top male level of strength, above any unaided woman
- A double ter'angreal in the shape of two intertwined crescent moons, facing one another and overlapping; they function like Mat's Foxhead medallion, causing flows directed at Cadsaune to dissipate and also warning that someone close is embracing the Power; they become cold, but do not distinguish between saidin and saidar (though they work on and warn of both).
- A ter'angreal in the shape of a hummingbird is a Well.
- A ter'angreal in the shape of an eight-pointed star with four long and four short wavy rays; it detects the ability of a man to channel within a distance of thirty or forty paces. But it did not identify which man inside that range could channel, only the presence of one. It vibrates in the presence of men who can channel, more so with increasing numbers.
- A ter'angreal in the shape of a bird that seems a swallow; it detects the use of every very small amount of saidin and saidar within as much as three miles; if held by its chain it would turn to point its beak to the direction of use. It can detect only saidin and saidar used alone, not combined.
- A ter'angreal in the shape of a six-pointed star. When triggered it forms a thin "armor" against the skin of the wearer. This protection is invisible except to whoever is using it. It protects against the blows of swords, knifes, arrows and even maces because it dissipates the force of the blow over the entire body, thus reducing it.
- A ter'angreal in the shape of a sleek fish with sharp fins. It enables the wearer to pull someone else into an involuntary circle under hehis control guiding the flows. It works only if the other person has already seized saidin or embraced saidar.
- A ter'angreal in the shape of a shadowed moon: a full moon disc with a part chiselled leaving a brightly burnished crescent. Its use is unknown.
- A ter'angreal in the shape of a leaping fish that looked like a trout. Its use is unknown.
- A ter'angreal in the shape of a fish that looked like a carp. Its use is unknown.
PRECOCIOUS PUPIL
This is a quick bit of trivia about Nicola Treehill. Nicola spent the entire series trying to rush ahead of herself. She wanted to follow in Egwene's footsteps, but acted as kind of a foil to the advancement we see from the Wonder Girls. She met an untimely end when she entered Tel'aran'riod unauthorized. Egwene had given her a ter'angreal to pass some messages in the World of Dreams with the express purpose of baiting an attack from the Black Ajah. The bait worked, but Nicola used the ter'angreal during that battle and was kill in the crossfire. From Jordan's notes, it was revealed that, in true Nicola fashion, she rushed ahead and bonded her friend Areina (the woman who idolized Birgitte in Salidar) as her Warder. She likely died in a rage when Nicola died, however, the Companion lists her fate as "unknown", so it's possible she was saved.
ON GENDER AND SOULS
This is a quick commentary on how Jordan chose to do his world building. According to Robert Jordan, souls are gendered, and the ability to channel is tied to one's soul. The strength of a channeler's soul doesn't appear to vary. Although it can be influenced by physical properties temporarily, such as the Finn draining Moiraine and Lanfear; their reborn souls in another Age would return to their default/stronger values. Also, no one can channel during the 1st Age (our current Age), regardless of the soul's ability.
Jordan made a few comments in interviews, in reply to specific questions, that souls were gendered and seemingly always wind up in the correct bodies. The only attempt Jordan makes in the books to display anything like transgenderism is with Halima. I'd like to stress that this information comes from him answering on the spot question, usually in front of a large audience. I think that Jordan was ahead of his time in talking about gender dynamics, and he wanted to focus on that, and the zeitgeist of the time was centered around that. The entire language and terminology around transgender identities didn't even exist when Jordan was writing the series. I think if he started the series today, it would play a more prominent role in the story, and I don't think anyone should be told off for questioning and theorycrafting how a trans person would exist or function in the 3rd Age. I also don't think Jordan should be penalized for only being 20 years ahead of his time, instead of 30. He chose to build his world in a specific way and that's all he chose to focus on.
So that said, there were some user questions about female Dragons. Jordan stated that there was a female equivalent to the Dragon, but she would never be born in the 3rd Age and undergo Rand's journey. She'd never earn the title Dragon or Dragon reborn. Instead, he simple referred to her as the female Champion of the Light. Her name is Amaresu and she is a Hero of the Horn, just like Rand/LTT is. She is the real-world parallel to the Japanese Sun Goddess, Amaterasu.
WEAK SAUCE
Some information about Moiraine: In the trivia post for Winter's Heart, I provided you with a ranking of all the important channelers in the series with their strength levels. Moiraine's new, weakened strength is the only entry I left off of that list. Moiraine's reduced strength is level 66(54), which is 6 steps above Morgase. The angreal she possesses is so strong it's almost a sa'angreal. We don't know exactly how strong it makes her, but with it she is stronger than she was before the Finns took her.
SO TOWER, MUCH MIDNIGHT
This is a quick discussion about the meaning of this book's title, Towers of Midnight. Unlike some other books, the title for this book is maybe too obvious, or overly represented in the book. I went to go research, to make sure I got all of the meanings, and the top result was my own comment from 4 years ago. This happens about half the time I need to look something up about the Wheel of Time. I may comment way too much in this subreddit...
Anyway, hooray for my past self making this section easy to write. CTRL+C, CTRL+V: This is kind of a catch-all metaphor title. The literal Towers of Midnight (in Seanchan) include 13 towers, this is book 13. Lots of Black Tower machinations happen in this book. Black = Midnight Tower. Egwene has a Dream about various 13 towers rising and falling, which represent the 13 Forsaken (= Evil = Black = Midnight). Various "tower" related plots in general: Black Tower, White Tower, Tower of Genji. Seven Towers of Malkier if you want to stretch the metaphor to include Lan's journey in the book. The Epilogue/ending poem is the dark prophecy that includes mention of Perrin/Hopper and "Midnight Towers". All in all, it's more relevant than Knife of Dreams.
ADVANCED NORSE MYTHOLOGY
In this book, we have the culmination of Perrin's arch to embody the "real events" that led to the mythological Norse god Thor. He has crafted Mah'alleinir, which many of you caught sounds an awful lot like Mjölnir.
Way back in the trivia post for The Shadow Rising I outlined how Mat embodied Odin. I almost left out that section of the trivia because I thought it might be too leading. If you know your Norse mythology, you know that Odin only has one eye. Lesser known is why. In his thirst for knowledge, Odin plucked his own eye out and sacrificed it to the Well of Urd, allowing him to drink from it and gain knowledge/wisdom. It seems no one caught the similarities at the time. It wasn't until around The Path of Daggers when I introduced the prophecies wiki pages that some of you re-read through them and started theorizing about "half the light of the world".
VERIIIIIIIIIIIIN
There were many questions surrounding Verin's decision to drink poison and reveal herself to Egwene. This section tries to clear up the timeline and reasoning behind her actions. First, to address the questions I've seen of why Verin didn't tell Egwene about the attack in Caemlyn. If you've been paying attention, there have been a lot of letters with red wax seals in various characters' possession. Verin was very thorough in her delegation. She has been telling specific people specific things, relative to where they are in the world and what spheres of influence they have. She had limited time with Egwene and assumed she had Caemlyn handled with the letter she left Mat. Unfortunately, she underestimated how well she knew Matrim Cauthon.
And her letter to Mat is what sealed her doom. As I've mentioned, the timeline of these two books is nebulous at best. The reason Verin poisoned herself was because she couldn't violate her Oaths to the Dark One. She had to be dead before the date Mat could/would have opened the letter, because in that letter she betrays the Dark One. Had she been able to release herself of the Oaths with the Oath Rod, she could have Travelled back to Mat, taken the letter, and just told him about the attack. With limited time due to her misunderstanding of Mat's stubbornness, she made the choice to poison herself and reveal what she knew about the Black Ajah to Egwene.
Also, because I couldn't find a better time to mention it. I saw some comments speculating, but I just want to confirm that Verin did use her custom form of Compulsion on all of the White Tower Aes Sedai that were captured at Dumai's Wells. She Compelled them all to swear fealty to Rand, even Elza Penfell, who she knew was a member of the Black Ajah.
LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE, PART 2
In the 2000's and 2010's a website called suvudu.com (gone now, it redirects you to one of those spam celebrity article sites) ran yearly "tournaments" where they pitted characters from popular sci-fi and fantasy novels against each other in death matches. The authors of the respective books were invited to write short stories about how they thought such a fight would play out. Wheel of Time characters featured prominently in 3 different years. I'll share one in the trivia of each of these last 3 books (for spoiler purposes, do not go searching them out).
The 2011 match ups featured Perrin. He was paired up against Tasslehoff Burrfoot from the Dragonlance series, which he won. Perrin then lost in his next round against Quick Ben from the Malazan series. Sanderson didn't do extensive write-ups this year, but he did have the following to say about Perrin's match up with Tasslehoff:
Perrin against Tasslehoff. Really. We're doing this? Okay, well, here's what we've got. Perrin is an extremely skilled fighter whose very nature (being ta'veren) causes probability to warp around him and bring to him the things and people he needs at the moments he needs them. He has a power-forged hammer, the allegiance of tens of thousands of trained soldiers, and the ability to call upon hundreds of wolves if he really needed to. He is a berserker on the battlefield, and has the power to move in the World of Dreams, where he has near-absolute control of his surroundings. He is guarded by Aiel warriors and two powerful Asha'man who can wield the One Power that made Rand such a force in the previous tournament.MORE ANIMATED BATTLES
Tasslehoff has a stick that throws rocks.
Okay, I'm underplaying it. Tas is a clever, brave little guy. (Actually, I think he may be immune to fear or something.) He's prone to have a few tricks up his sleeves, magic items stolen here or there. But he's also got a childlike view of the world, and has nowhere near the ruthlessness that Perrin has been forced by fate to learn. Tas can't win this fight. I declare that this battle plays out like so: Tas defaults on his match by not showing up. He's off picking Jon Snow's pockets. Perrin wins. (And Wheel of Time fans, don't prove me wrong. We'll never live it down if Perrin loses to Tasslehoff.)
In the trivia post for The Path of Daggers, I shared some YouTube videos, created by Luinedhel, that depicted various battles in the series in an animated fashion. Feel free to take your time to watch these and comment on them later if you'd like.
Important: I try really hard to keep you all spoiler free. The only thing I can't control are external resources like this that I link to you. I would strongly suggest a few actions on your part to help remain spoiler free. First, don't like or subscribe (though, after the read-along, doing so would benefit the YouTuber). You should be fine to watch the video as an embedded link, but if it takes you directly to YouTube to watch it, try to find a way to watch it incognito. Both of these are to prevent being suggested other videos by him, or other YouTubers that may have spoilery titles. Lastly, do not read the comments or descriptions of the videos, or look at any of the recommended videos. (The end card suggested videos may seem safe, but I've watched all of them by this user. The other ones have subtle spoilers for the last book and should be avoided. I'll share this channel again in the final trivia post and it will then be safe to watch the rest of the videos.)
The first video is The Battle of Shadar Logoth, otherwise known as the Cleansing. I would have shared this video earlier, but it spoils the hammer Perrin creates in this book.
The next two videos are The Battle of Serana and The Battle of Darluna, which illustrate Rodel Ituralde's campaign against the Seanchan on the Almoth Plain.
The next video is The Battle of the Malvide Narrows; Mat's campaign against the Seanchan as he attempts to flee Altara.
This video is The Battle of Malden, which shows Perrin's assault on the town of Malden in order to free a captive Faile.
The last video is The Battle of Tar Valon and outlines the Seanchan raid on the White Tower.
MEMES
We have a sister subreddit called /WetlanderHumor. /WoT does not allow memes, so /WetlanderHumor is the place for them. Unfortunately, it's only open to people who have finished the series, since they do not have any sort of spoiler policies. I've personally vetted these memes, so you will not be spoiled for anything beyond the end of this book.
CLICK HERE FOR MEMES
READER QUESTIONS
There were a few questions asked by various readers throughout the read through of this book. They did not receive clear answers from other readers, or explicitly from the books, so I will be answering them here. I will be including that section as a stickied comment below.
2024.04.06 07:15 wsppan Today In Phishstory - April 6th
# Today In Phishstory - April 6th Brought to you by tiph-bot. Beep.
All data extracted via The Phishnet API.
Phish, Wednesday 04/06/1994 (30 years ago) Concert Hall, Toronto, Ontario, , Canada
Gap Chart, Tour: 1994 Spring Tour
Set 1 : Llama , Guelah Papyrus , Poor Heart , Stash , The Lizards , Sample in a Jar , Scent of a Mule , Fee -> Run Like an Antelope
Set 2 : The Curtain > Down with Disease , Wolfman's Brother , Sparkle > Mike's Song -> Lifeboy > Weekapaug Groove 1 , The Squirming Coil , Cavern
Encore : Ginseng Sullivan 2 , Nellie Kane 2 , Sweet Adeline 3
1 Vocal jam. 2 Acoustic; without microphones. 3 Without microphones.
Jamchart Notes:
Stash - "Stash" starts off '94 in a jarring, intense manner, seems to peak, then breaks into a 2nd, really excellent improvisational section.
Down with Disease - Trey is just ON FIRE! A thrilling, albeit straight-up "Type I" version.
Mike's Song - Awesome and very unique version in which the 1st jam is the centerpiece of the improvisation. The jam slips away from typical "Mike's" into a repetive motif, which then breaks into nice melodic play that grows increasingly tense. Then the jam picks up a rocking head of steam. The 2nd jam adds color with great "Tweeprise"-like jamming. A kick ass version for a surprisingly mediocre year for "Mike's."
Show Notes:
Weekapaug contained a vocal jam. Ginseng Sullivan and Nellie Kane were performed acoustic and, along with Sweet Adeline, without microphones. This show was originally scheduled for The Palladium and was relocated at the last minute due to damage to that venue from the previous evening's New Kids on the Block concert.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Phish, Monday 04/06/1992 (32 years ago) Paul Wright Gym, Western State College, Gunnison, CO, USA
Gap Chart, Tour: 1992 Spring Tour
Set 1 : Suzy Greenberg , Foam , Sparkle , Reba , Brother , Esther > Chalk Dust Torture , Guelah Papyrus , The Squirming Coil > Run Like an Antelope
Set 2 : Dinner and a Movie > Bathtub Gin , Paul and Silas , Mike's Song > I Am Hydrogen > Weekapaug Groove , NICU , Llama , Mound , Stash , Cold as Ice > Cracklin' Rosie > Cold as Ice , Uncle Pen , Cavern 1
Encore : Big Black Furry Creature from Mars 2
1 Segments performed bluegrass style. Trey altered lyrics to "take care of your boots" and referenced a hoedown. 2 Make Your Own Guacamole jam, during which the audience made guacamole from band-supplied avocados.
Jamchart Notes:
Mike's Song - In the first section, Trey opts for a more melodic jam, which become very rocking and driving. Fish and Trey add exclamation to this sentiment in the brief 2nd jam.
Show Notes:
Sparkle was dedicated to "Donna." Trey teased Rhythm-A-Ning in Antelope. Trey announced before Cavern that the band would play a bit more bluegrass; therefore, segments of Cavern were performed in a bluegrass style. Also, Trey altered the Cavern lyrics to "take care of your boots" and referenced a hoedown. BBFCFM included a We're Off to See the Wizard tease and a Make Your Own Guacamole jam, during which the audience made guacamole from band-supplied avocados because the band joked that their traditional post-show guacamole was not supplied.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Phish, Saturday 04/06/1991 (33 years ago) The Library Building, Evergreen College, Olympia, WA, USA
Gap Chart, Tour: 1991 WinteSpring Tour
Set 1 : The Man Who Stepped Into Yesterday > Avenu Malkenu > The Man Who Stepped Into Yesterday > Tweezer > Esther > The Oh Kee Pa Ceremony > AC/DC Bag , Fluffhead > Tweezer Reprise
Set 2 : Ya Mar , Split Open and Melt , Runaway Jim , Magilla > Llama , You Enjoy Myself , Bathtub Gin , Icculus , Run Like an Antelope , Hold Your Head Up > Terrapin > Hold Your Head Up , Possum
Encore : Jesus Just Left Chicago > Alumni Blues > Letter to Jimmy Page > Alumni Blues
Jamchart Notes:
Magilla - "Magilla" in inverse, with Page in the lead-off solo position and Trey adding fills. The two swap roles, and fantastic playing ensues. Everyone is on point, and everyone solos. Sunny. Bright.
Show Notes:
Trey teased The Irish Washerwoman prior to Ya Mar, which subsequently contained a Woody Woodpecker theme tease from Trey. Icculus was played for the first time since August 12, 1989 (238 shows).
Listen now at Phish.in!
Phish, Friday 04/06/1990 (34 years ago) El Dorado Café, Crested Butte, CO, USA
Gap Chart, Tour: 1990 Tour
Set 1 : Cavern , You Enjoy Myself , Uncle Pen , Rhombus Narration > Divided Sky , Ya Mar , Dinner and a Movie > Bouncing Around the Room , The Oh Kee Pa Ceremony > Suzy Greenberg > Run Like an Antelope
Set 2 : Carolina , La Grange , Esther > The Sloth , Harry Hood , Caravan , Reba , I Didn't Know , Alumni Blues 1 > Letter to Jimmy Page > Alumni Blues , Good Times Bad Times
Encore : Jesus Just Left Chicago , Highway to Hell
1 Additional lyrics.
Show Notes:
Alumni contained additional lyrics.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Phish, 1988-04-06 Gallagher's, Waitsfield, VT, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/phish-april-06-1988-gallaghers-waitsfield-vt-usa.html
Tour: 1988 Tour
Show Notes:
Phish, Saturday 04/06/1985 (39 years ago) Finbar's, Burlington, VT, USA
Gap Chart, Tour: 1985 Tour
Set 1 : I Am Hydrogen 1 , Don't Want You No More , Cities , Wild Child , Slave to the Traffic Light , Jam , Alumni Blues > Letter to Jimmy Page 1 > Alumni Blues > Mike's Song 2 > Dave's Energy Guide 1 , Big Leg Emma 3 , Revolution 1 , Anarchy , I Wish 3 , Camel Walk , Run Like an Antelope 1
Set 2 : McGrupp and the Watchful Hosemasters 4 > Makisupa Policeman
Set 3 : Quinn the Eskimo (The Mighty Quinn) 3
1 First known performance. 2 Vocal section at the end with lyrics to the effect of "Life is not what it seems." 3 First known Phish performance. 4 First known performance. Narrated rather than sung.
Jamchart Notes:
McGrupp and the Watchful Hosemasters - Debut. The lyrics are narrated by Trey, rather than sung, and Page had not yet joined the band. A fairly intense, mostly straightforward Jeff and Trey guitar jam follows the lyrical section. (Circulates as filler on 3/4/85 Hunt's).
Show Notes:
This show was a benefit for Tools for Peace and Justice in Central America and featured the first known performances of Hydrogen, Revolution, and McGrupp and the first known Phish performances of Big Leg Emma and Quinn the Eskimo. The jam after Slave may have been Back Porch Boogie Blues. The end of Mike's Song contained a vocal section with lyrics to the effect of "Life is not what it seems." Revolution was dedicated to Anne Labrusciano and Trey explained it used to be entitled "Leunig's Sucks" but now it's entitled "Revolution". Run Like An Antelope was introduced by Trey as "Run Like an Antelope Out of Control". McGrupp And The Watchful Hosemasters was narrated rather than sung. If the 2/1/85 setlist is not correct for that date, then this show featured the first known performances of Letter to Jimmy Page, Dave's Energy Guide, and Run Like an Antelope.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Ghosts of the Forest, 2019-04-06 The Anthem, Washington, DC, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/trey-anastasio-april-06-2019-the-anthem-washington-dc-usa.html
Tour: Not Part of a Tour
Show Notes: The Intro that debuted at this show was the second prerecorded piano intro played over the PA to debut on the Ghosts of the Forest tour.
Mike Gordon, 2014-04-06 Higher Ground, South Burlington, VT, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/mike-gordon-april-06-2014-higher-ground-south-burlington-vt-usa.html
Tour: Mike Gordon - Spring 2014 Overstep Tour
Show Notes: 555 featured Page on keyboards and Fish on drums.
Pork Tornado, 2001-04-06 The Paradise, Boston, MA, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/jon-fishman-april-06-2001-the-paradise-boston-ma-usa.html
Tour: Fish - Pork Tornado Spring 2001
Show Notes:
Pork Tornado, 2000-04-06 Milestones, Rochester, NY, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/jon-fishman-april-06-2000-milestones-rochester-ny-usa.html
Tour: Fish - Pork Tornado Spring 2000
Show Notes:
Pork Tornado, 1999-04-06 The Paradise, Boston, MA, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/jon-fishman-april-06-1999-the-paradise-boston-ma-usa.html
Tour: Fish - Pork Tornado Spring 1999
Show Notes: There is no known setlist for this show and recordings do not circulate.
Benevento/Russo Duo, 2006-04-06 Higher Ground, South Burlington, VT, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/guest-appearance-april-06-2006-higher-ground-south-burlington-vt-usa.html
Tour: Not Part of a Tour
Show Notes: Fish joined the Duo for "The Three Question Marks," prompting Marco to remark, "We've successfully played with all four of them now." "Mike's Song" featured Mike, Fish and Brad Barr and contained "Wilson" and "Third Stone From the Sun" teases. Jamie Masefield and Mike Mavridoglou joined for the ensuing jam, which also featured "Weekapaug" and "L.A. Woman" teases. Earlier in the show, Brad Barr sat in on "Sunny's Song," "Mephisto" and "What Is and What Should Never Be."
submitted by wsppan to phish [link] [comments]
All data extracted via The Phishnet API.
Phish
Gap Chart, Tour: 1994 Spring Tour
Set 1 : Llama , Guelah Papyrus , Poor Heart , Stash , The Lizards , Sample in a Jar , Scent of a Mule , Fee -> Run Like an Antelope
Set 2 : The Curtain > Down with Disease , Wolfman's Brother , Sparkle > Mike's Song -> Lifeboy > Weekapaug Groove 1 , The Squirming Coil , Cavern
Encore : Ginseng Sullivan 2 , Nellie Kane 2 , Sweet Adeline 3
1 Vocal jam. 2 Acoustic; without microphones. 3 Without microphones.
Jamchart Notes:
Stash - "Stash" starts off '94 in a jarring, intense manner, seems to peak, then breaks into a 2nd, really excellent improvisational section.
Down with Disease - Trey is just ON FIRE! A thrilling, albeit straight-up "Type I" version.
Mike's Song - Awesome and very unique version in which the 1st jam is the centerpiece of the improvisation. The jam slips away from typical "Mike's" into a repetive motif, which then breaks into nice melodic play that grows increasingly tense. Then the jam picks up a rocking head of steam. The 2nd jam adds color with great "Tweeprise"-like jamming. A kick ass version for a surprisingly mediocre year for "Mike's."
Show Notes:
Weekapaug contained a vocal jam. Ginseng Sullivan and Nellie Kane were performed acoustic and, along with Sweet Adeline, without microphones. This show was originally scheduled for The Palladium and was relocated at the last minute due to damage to that venue from the previous evening's New Kids on the Block concert.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Gap Chart, Tour: 1992 Spring Tour
Set 1 : Suzy Greenberg , Foam , Sparkle , Reba , Brother , Esther > Chalk Dust Torture , Guelah Papyrus , The Squirming Coil > Run Like an Antelope
Set 2 : Dinner and a Movie > Bathtub Gin , Paul and Silas , Mike's Song > I Am Hydrogen > Weekapaug Groove , NICU , Llama , Mound , Stash , Cold as Ice > Cracklin' Rosie > Cold as Ice , Uncle Pen , Cavern 1
Encore : Big Black Furry Creature from Mars 2
1 Segments performed bluegrass style. Trey altered lyrics to "take care of your boots" and referenced a hoedown. 2 Make Your Own Guacamole jam, during which the audience made guacamole from band-supplied avocados.
Jamchart Notes:
Mike's Song - In the first section, Trey opts for a more melodic jam, which become very rocking and driving. Fish and Trey add exclamation to this sentiment in the brief 2nd jam.
Show Notes:
Sparkle was dedicated to "Donna." Trey teased Rhythm-A-Ning in Antelope. Trey announced before Cavern that the band would play a bit more bluegrass; therefore, segments of Cavern were performed in a bluegrass style. Also, Trey altered the Cavern lyrics to "take care of your boots" and referenced a hoedown. BBFCFM included a We're Off to See the Wizard tease and a Make Your Own Guacamole jam, during which the audience made guacamole from band-supplied avocados because the band joked that their traditional post-show guacamole was not supplied.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Gap Chart, Tour: 1991 WinteSpring Tour
Set 1 : The Man Who Stepped Into Yesterday > Avenu Malkenu > The Man Who Stepped Into Yesterday > Tweezer > Esther > The Oh Kee Pa Ceremony > AC/DC Bag , Fluffhead > Tweezer Reprise
Set 2 : Ya Mar , Split Open and Melt , Runaway Jim , Magilla > Llama , You Enjoy Myself , Bathtub Gin , Icculus , Run Like an Antelope , Hold Your Head Up > Terrapin > Hold Your Head Up , Possum
Encore : Jesus Just Left Chicago > Alumni Blues > Letter to Jimmy Page > Alumni Blues
Jamchart Notes:
Magilla - "Magilla" in inverse, with Page in the lead-off solo position and Trey adding fills. The two swap roles, and fantastic playing ensues. Everyone is on point, and everyone solos. Sunny. Bright.
Show Notes:
Trey teased The Irish Washerwoman prior to Ya Mar, which subsequently contained a Woody Woodpecker theme tease from Trey. Icculus was played for the first time since August 12, 1989 (238 shows).
Listen now at Phish.in!
Gap Chart, Tour: 1990 Tour
Set 1 : Cavern , You Enjoy Myself , Uncle Pen , Rhombus Narration > Divided Sky , Ya Mar , Dinner and a Movie > Bouncing Around the Room , The Oh Kee Pa Ceremony > Suzy Greenberg > Run Like an Antelope
Set 2 : Carolina , La Grange , Esther > The Sloth , Harry Hood , Caravan , Reba , I Didn't Know , Alumni Blues 1 > Letter to Jimmy Page > Alumni Blues , Good Times Bad Times
Encore : Jesus Just Left Chicago , Highway to Hell
1 Additional lyrics.
Show Notes:
Alumni contained additional lyrics.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/phish-april-06-1988-gallaghers-waitsfield-vt-usa.html
Tour: 1988 Tour
Show Notes:
Gap Chart, Tour: 1985 Tour
Set 1 : I Am Hydrogen 1 , Don't Want You No More , Cities , Wild Child , Slave to the Traffic Light , Jam , Alumni Blues > Letter to Jimmy Page 1 > Alumni Blues > Mike's Song 2 > Dave's Energy Guide 1 , Big Leg Emma 3 , Revolution 1 , Anarchy , I Wish 3 , Camel Walk , Run Like an Antelope 1
Set 2 : McGrupp and the Watchful Hosemasters 4 > Makisupa Policeman
Set 3 : Quinn the Eskimo (The Mighty Quinn) 3
1 First known performance. 2 Vocal section at the end with lyrics to the effect of "Life is not what it seems." 3 First known Phish performance. 4 First known performance. Narrated rather than sung.
Jamchart Notes:
McGrupp and the Watchful Hosemasters - Debut. The lyrics are narrated by Trey, rather than sung, and Page had not yet joined the band. A fairly intense, mostly straightforward Jeff and Trey guitar jam follows the lyrical section. (Circulates as filler on 3/4/85 Hunt's).
Show Notes:
This show was a benefit for Tools for Peace and Justice in Central America and featured the first known performances of Hydrogen, Revolution, and McGrupp and the first known Phish performances of Big Leg Emma and Quinn the Eskimo. The jam after Slave may have been Back Porch Boogie Blues. The end of Mike's Song contained a vocal section with lyrics to the effect of "Life is not what it seems." Revolution was dedicated to Anne Labrusciano and Trey explained it used to be entitled "Leunig's Sucks" but now it's entitled "Revolution". Run Like An Antelope was introduced by Trey as "Run Like an Antelope Out of Control". McGrupp And The Watchful Hosemasters was narrated rather than sung. If the 2/1/85 setlist is not correct for that date, then this show featured the first known performances of Letter to Jimmy Page, Dave's Energy Guide, and Run Like an Antelope.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Trey Anastasio
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/trey-anastasio-april-06-2019-the-anthem-washington-dc-usa.html
Tour: Not Part of a Tour
Show Notes: The Intro that debuted at this show was the second prerecorded piano intro played over the PA to debut on the Ghosts of the Forest tour.
Mike Gordon
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/mike-gordon-april-06-2014-higher-ground-south-burlington-vt-usa.html
Tour: Mike Gordon - Spring 2014 Overstep Tour
Show Notes: 555 featured Page on keyboards and Fish on drums.
John Fishman
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/jon-fishman-april-06-2001-the-paradise-boston-ma-usa.html
Tour: Fish - Pork Tornado Spring 2001
Show Notes:
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/jon-fishman-april-06-2000-milestones-rochester-ny-usa.html
Tour: Fish - Pork Tornado Spring 2000
Show Notes:
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/jon-fishman-april-06-1999-the-paradise-boston-ma-usa.html
Tour: Fish - Pork Tornado Spring 1999
Show Notes: There is no known setlist for this show and recordings do not circulate.
Other
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/guest-appearance-april-06-2006-higher-ground-south-burlington-vt-usa.html
Tour: Not Part of a Tour
Show Notes: Fish joined the Duo for "The Three Question Marks," prompting Marco to remark, "We've successfully played with all four of them now." "Mike's Song" featured Mike, Fish and Brad Barr and contained "Wilson" and "Third Stone From the Sun" teases. Jamie Masefield and Mike Mavridoglou joined for the ensuing jam, which also featured "Weekapaug" and "L.A. Woman" teases. Earlier in the show, Brad Barr sat in on "Sunny's Song," "Mephisto" and "What Is and What Should Never Be."
2024.04.04 07:15 wsppan Today In Phishstory - April 4th
# Today In Phishstory - April 4th Brought to you by tiph-bot. Beep.
All data extracted via The Phishnet API.
Phish, Saturday 04/04/1998 (26 years ago) Providence Civic Center, Providence, RI, USA
Gap Chart, Tour: 1998 Island Tour
Set 1 : Tweezer > Taste , Bouncing Around the Room , Funky Bitch , Ginseng Sullivan , Limb By Limb , Lawn Boy , Character Zero
Set 2 : Birds of a Feather > Also Sprach Zarathustra 1 > Brother 2 , Ghost -> The Lizards , David Bowie
Encore : Harry Hood
1 Unfinished. 2 With short instrumental reprise.
Jamchart Notes:
Tweezer - Some wonderful space-funk evolves into stellar, full-band, magnificent improv. Another version I underrated in the 1990s.
Taste - Mike doesn't get a lot of mention on this chart, but he is really rock solid here, underpinning the harmonic base off of which Trey and Page shine. Still, this version doesn't have quite the "extra mustard" of many '97 versions.
Birds of a Feather - Elongated and groovy version suggests several possible future jamming directions while never straying too far from "Birds" itself.
Also Sprach Zarathustra - Haunting intro and a grooving minimalist first jam. Trey pounces at the 9 minute mark and another Island Tour masterpiece is created.
Brother - > in from "2001." About 4:38 into the conventional "Brother," this one departs into a great, funky jam. Way beyond the standard, it nonetheless builds in tension and dissonance as the jam progresses. Includes a brief "DEG" tease. After the song, the band played a brief "radio friendly" reprise.
Show Notes:
In a nod to the previous show, Trey said "Carini's gonna get you" in Lawn Boy. 2001 contained a Long Train Runnin' tease from Trey and was unfinished. Brother included a brief Dave's Energy Guide tease and was followed by a short instrumental reprise, which was announced as the "radio-friendly version." Trey contrasted this with the normal version, which was deemed un-radio-friendly due to its length. Ghost, which Trey jokingly remarked was also not radio-friendly because it is long and slow, included an I Can't Turn You Loose tease. This show is available as an archival release on LivePhish.com.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Phish, Monday 04/04/1994 (30 years ago) The Flynn Theatre, Burlington, VT, USA
Gap Chart, Tour: 1994 Spring Tour
Set 1 : Divided Sky , Sample in a Jar , Scent of a Mule 1 , Maze , Fee > Reba , Horn > It's Ice > Possum
Set 2 : Down with Disease 1 > If I Could 1 , Buried Alive 2 , The Landlady 2 , Julius 3 , Magilla 4 , Split Open and Melt 2 , Wolfman's Brother 3 > I Wan'na Be Like You 5 , The Oh Kee Pa Ceremony > Suzy Greenberg 6
Encore : Harry Hood , Cavern 7
1 Debut. 2 Giant Country Horns. 3 Debut; Giant Country Horns. 4 Giant Country Horns; more of a shuffle beat than usual. [5] Phish debut; Giant Country Horns. [6] Giant Country Horns; horn introductions. [7] Old lyrics. Carl Gerhard on trumpet.
Jamchart Notes:
Scent of a Mule - Debut includes a Page solo followed by the familiar klezmer style riff as the whole band accelerates the riff until Mike starts howling, indicating a return to the lyrics.
Reba - Following a few flubs in the first "Reba" of 1994, Trey blasts on through the composed section and modulates intensity. After teaming up with Mike to tease "A-Hunting We Will Go," super soloing dominates the version - listen for Page syncing up to develop extended "Batman Theme Song" teasing - which becomes wonderfully syncopated, with plucky guitar offset by dynamic Fish. This builds into a "heavy metal" sort of frenzy, with the playing becoming exceedingly, and exceptionally crazy, before the jam spikes to a pointed peak.
It's Ice - "Hey Bulldog" teases during an extended jam. Page led at first, but it becomes a full band rocker.
Down with Disease - Debut of the complete song.
Julius - Debut with the Giant Country Horns. Played at a slightly faster tempo than most subsequent versions. Establishes precedent for this song to be a pretty intense, raging one. SBD available on the "Spreadsheet."
Magilla - Incredible, fantastic version. While the Giant Country Horns add an undeniable boost to this powerhouse version, it is Jon Fishman who fuels this colorful rendition, arguably more notable for its scuttling, shuffling beat than the addition of trumpet, sax, or trombone. The version you take to your desert island.
Wolfman's Brother - Debut with the Giant Country Horns. The song was played in a lower key throughout 1994 than all versions from 1995 to present. The jam includes a great horn-infused "Alumni Blues" jam.
Harry Hood - Jam starts with a beautiful, flowing section with great Page and Mike. Then Trey and Fish kick things up several notches.
Show Notes:
This show, a benefit for The Flynn Theatre, featured many debuts, including Scent of a Mule, If I Could, Wolfman's Brother, Julius, and the full Down with Disease. I Wan'na Be Like You also made its Phish debut. The show kicked off with an a cappella line of Back In My Hometown. Reba contained A-Hunting We Will Go teases from Trey and Mike and It's Ice contained Hey Bulldog (Beatles) teases. Buried Alive through I Wan'na Be Like You and Suzy Greenberg featured The Giant Country Horns: Mike Gallick on baritone sax, Carl "Geerz" Gerhard on trumpet, Dave "The Truth" Grippo on alto sax, Don Glasgo on trombone, Chris Peterman on tenor sax, and Joey Sommerville on trumpet. Magilla was played slightly differently than most versions, with more of a shuffle beat. Wolfman's contained an Alumni Blues jam. Suzy contained Horn introductions and a HYHU tease from Page. Before and after Hood, Trey updated the crowd on the score of the Duke - Arkansas NCAA championship basketball game. Cavern, which contained the old, alternate lyrics, featured Gerhard on trumpet.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Phish, Saturday 04/04/1992 (32 years ago) Balch Fieldhouse, Boulder, CO, USA
Gap Chart, Tour: 1992 Spring Tour
Set 1 : Runaway Jim , Foam , Reba , Uncle Pen , Chalk Dust Torture , Bouncing Around the Room , It's Ice , Sparkle > The Lizards , I Didn't Know 1 , Run Like an Antelope
Set 2 : Mike's Song > I Am Hydrogen > Weekapaug Groove , Glide > My Friend, My Friend , The Squirming Coil , Tweezer > Cold as Ice > Cracklin' Rosie > Cold as Ice , Buried Alive > My Sweet One , Harpua 2 , Cavern
Encore : Sleeping Monkey > Tweezer Reprise
1 Fish on trombone. 2 Fish on bagpipes.
Jamchart Notes:
Run Like an Antelope - Unusual and improvisational jam works its way back to blistering standard "Antelope" fare.
Show Notes:
I Didn't Know featured Fish on trombone. Harpua featured Fish on bagpipes and included a Fire tease.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Phish, Thursday 04/04/1991 (33 years ago) WOW Hall, Eugene, OR, USA
Gap Chart, Tour: 1991 WinteSpring Tour
Set 1 : The Oh Kee Pa Ceremony > Suzy Greenberg , You Enjoy Myself , The Squirming Coil > Llama > Colonel Forbin's Ascent > Fly Famous Mockingbird , Possum , Carolina , Golgi Apparatus
Set 2 : The Curtain > Runaway Jim , Guelah Papyrus , David Bowie , Lawn Boy > The Landlady , My Sweet One > Divided Sky , Hold Your Head Up > Love You 1 > Hold Your Head Up > Big Black Furry Creature from Mars
Encore : Magilla > Highway to Hell
Encore 2 : Contact > Uncle Pen
1 Band introductions.
Jamchart Notes:
David Bowie - An upward spiraling, malevolent jam, as demented as they get, eventually gives way to insane shredding by Big Red.
Show Notes:
The Bowie intro contained I Dream of Jeannie theme teases from Page. Before Love You, which included band introductions, Fish noted that his backup Mighty Mite vacuum has the same suction per inch as his broken Electrolux (which he acknowledged as "the greatest vacuum of all").
Listen now at Phish.in!
Phish, Wednesday 04/04/1990 (34 years ago) Quigley's, University of Colorado, Boulder, CO, USA
Gap Chart, Tour: 1990 Tour
Set 1 : Golgi Apparatus , You Enjoy Myself > Walk Away , Take the 'A' Train , Possum , Foam , Rhombus Narration > Divided Sky , Carolina
Set 2 : Mike's Song > I Am Hydrogen > Weekapaug Groove , Esther > Uncle Pen , The Sloth , The Lizards , I Didn't Know , Good Times Bad Times
Encore : Contact , Highway to Hell
Show Notes:
YEM contained a Sailor's Hornpipe tease, 'A' Train included a Woody Woodpecker theme tease, 'A' Train was teased in Possum, and Wilson was teased in the Rhombus Narration. I Didn't Know was dedicated to "George" and the second verse of Contact was dedicated to "Eli" for his birthday.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Ghosts of the Forest, 2019-04-04 State Theatre, Portland, ME, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/trey-anastasio-april-04-2019-state-theatre-portland-me-usa.html
Tour: Not Part of a Tour
Show Notes: This show was the first performance of Trey's Ghosts in the Forest project. All songs were debuts except for Ruby Waves, which was performed for the first time since October 19, 2008. Intro was a prerecorded piano intro played over the PA. Wider contained a When the Saints Go Marching In tease from Trey.
Mike Gordon, 2018-04-04 Higher Ground, South Burlington, VT, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/mike-gordon-april-04-2018-higher-ground-south-burlington-vt-usa.html
Tour: Not Part of a Tour
Show Notes:
Mike Gordon, 2014-04-04 Tarrytown Music Hall, Tarrytown, NY, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/mike-gordon-april-04-2014-tarrytown-music-hall-tarrytown-ny-usa.html
Tour: Mike Gordon - Spring 2014 Overstep Tour
Show Notes: Trey Anastasio sat in on guitar for Cities and Tiny Little World.
Pork Tornado, 2000-04-04 The Wetlands Preserve, New York, NY, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/jon-fishman-april-04-2000-the-wetlands-preserve-new-york-ny-usa.html
Tour: Fish - Pork Tornado Spring 2000
Show Notes:
Page McConnell, 2007-04-04 The Gramercy Theatre, New York, NY, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/page-mcconnell-april-04-2007-the-gramercy-theatre-new-york-ny-usa.html
Tour: Page McConnell Spring & Summer 2007 Tour
Show Notes: Page performed "Strange Design" solo on piano.
submitted by wsppan to phish [link] [comments]
All data extracted via The Phishnet API.
Phish
Gap Chart, Tour: 1998 Island Tour
Set 1 : Tweezer > Taste , Bouncing Around the Room , Funky Bitch , Ginseng Sullivan , Limb By Limb , Lawn Boy , Character Zero
Set 2 : Birds of a Feather > Also Sprach Zarathustra 1 > Brother 2 , Ghost -> The Lizards , David Bowie
Encore : Harry Hood
1 Unfinished. 2 With short instrumental reprise.
Jamchart Notes:
Tweezer - Some wonderful space-funk evolves into stellar, full-band, magnificent improv. Another version I underrated in the 1990s.
Taste - Mike doesn't get a lot of mention on this chart, but he is really rock solid here, underpinning the harmonic base off of which Trey and Page shine. Still, this version doesn't have quite the "extra mustard" of many '97 versions.
Birds of a Feather - Elongated and groovy version suggests several possible future jamming directions while never straying too far from "Birds" itself.
Also Sprach Zarathustra - Haunting intro and a grooving minimalist first jam. Trey pounces at the 9 minute mark and another Island Tour masterpiece is created.
Brother - > in from "2001." About 4:38 into the conventional "Brother," this one departs into a great, funky jam. Way beyond the standard, it nonetheless builds in tension and dissonance as the jam progresses. Includes a brief "DEG" tease. After the song, the band played a brief "radio friendly" reprise.
Show Notes:
In a nod to the previous show, Trey said "Carini's gonna get you" in Lawn Boy. 2001 contained a Long Train Runnin' tease from Trey and was unfinished. Brother included a brief Dave's Energy Guide tease and was followed by a short instrumental reprise, which was announced as the "radio-friendly version." Trey contrasted this with the normal version, which was deemed un-radio-friendly due to its length. Ghost, which Trey jokingly remarked was also not radio-friendly because it is long and slow, included an I Can't Turn You Loose tease. This show is available as an archival release on LivePhish.com.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Gap Chart, Tour: 1994 Spring Tour
Set 1 : Divided Sky , Sample in a Jar , Scent of a Mule 1 , Maze , Fee > Reba , Horn > It's Ice > Possum
Set 2 : Down with Disease 1 > If I Could 1 , Buried Alive 2 , The Landlady 2 , Julius 3 , Magilla 4 , Split Open and Melt 2 , Wolfman's Brother 3 > I Wan'na Be Like You 5 , The Oh Kee Pa Ceremony > Suzy Greenberg 6
Encore : Harry Hood , Cavern 7
1 Debut. 2 Giant Country Horns. 3 Debut; Giant Country Horns. 4 Giant Country Horns; more of a shuffle beat than usual. [5] Phish debut; Giant Country Horns. [6] Giant Country Horns; horn introductions. [7] Old lyrics. Carl Gerhard on trumpet.
Jamchart Notes:
Scent of a Mule - Debut includes a Page solo followed by the familiar klezmer style riff as the whole band accelerates the riff until Mike starts howling, indicating a return to the lyrics.
Reba - Following a few flubs in the first "Reba" of 1994, Trey blasts on through the composed section and modulates intensity. After teaming up with Mike to tease "A-Hunting We Will Go," super soloing dominates the version - listen for Page syncing up to develop extended "Batman Theme Song" teasing - which becomes wonderfully syncopated, with plucky guitar offset by dynamic Fish. This builds into a "heavy metal" sort of frenzy, with the playing becoming exceedingly, and exceptionally crazy, before the jam spikes to a pointed peak.
It's Ice - "Hey Bulldog" teases during an extended jam. Page led at first, but it becomes a full band rocker.
Down with Disease - Debut of the complete song.
Julius - Debut with the Giant Country Horns. Played at a slightly faster tempo than most subsequent versions. Establishes precedent for this song to be a pretty intense, raging one. SBD available on the "Spreadsheet."
Magilla - Incredible, fantastic version. While the Giant Country Horns add an undeniable boost to this powerhouse version, it is Jon Fishman who fuels this colorful rendition, arguably more notable for its scuttling, shuffling beat than the addition of trumpet, sax, or trombone. The version you take to your desert island.
Wolfman's Brother - Debut with the Giant Country Horns. The song was played in a lower key throughout 1994 than all versions from 1995 to present. The jam includes a great horn-infused "Alumni Blues" jam.
Harry Hood - Jam starts with a beautiful, flowing section with great Page and Mike. Then Trey and Fish kick things up several notches.
Show Notes:
This show, a benefit for The Flynn Theatre, featured many debuts, including Scent of a Mule, If I Could, Wolfman's Brother, Julius, and the full Down with Disease. I Wan'na Be Like You also made its Phish debut. The show kicked off with an a cappella line of Back In My Hometown. Reba contained A-Hunting We Will Go teases from Trey and Mike and It's Ice contained Hey Bulldog (Beatles) teases. Buried Alive through I Wan'na Be Like You and Suzy Greenberg featured The Giant Country Horns: Mike Gallick on baritone sax, Carl "Geerz" Gerhard on trumpet, Dave "The Truth" Grippo on alto sax, Don Glasgo on trombone, Chris Peterman on tenor sax, and Joey Sommerville on trumpet. Magilla was played slightly differently than most versions, with more of a shuffle beat. Wolfman's contained an Alumni Blues jam. Suzy contained Horn introductions and a HYHU tease from Page. Before and after Hood, Trey updated the crowd on the score of the Duke - Arkansas NCAA championship basketball game. Cavern, which contained the old, alternate lyrics, featured Gerhard on trumpet.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Gap Chart, Tour: 1992 Spring Tour
Set 1 : Runaway Jim , Foam , Reba , Uncle Pen , Chalk Dust Torture , Bouncing Around the Room , It's Ice , Sparkle > The Lizards , I Didn't Know 1 , Run Like an Antelope
Set 2 : Mike's Song > I Am Hydrogen > Weekapaug Groove , Glide > My Friend, My Friend , The Squirming Coil , Tweezer > Cold as Ice > Cracklin' Rosie > Cold as Ice , Buried Alive > My Sweet One , Harpua 2 , Cavern
Encore : Sleeping Monkey > Tweezer Reprise
1 Fish on trombone. 2 Fish on bagpipes.
Jamchart Notes:
Run Like an Antelope - Unusual and improvisational jam works its way back to blistering standard "Antelope" fare.
Show Notes:
I Didn't Know featured Fish on trombone. Harpua featured Fish on bagpipes and included a Fire tease.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Gap Chart, Tour: 1991 WinteSpring Tour
Set 1 : The Oh Kee Pa Ceremony > Suzy Greenberg , You Enjoy Myself , The Squirming Coil > Llama > Colonel Forbin's Ascent > Fly Famous Mockingbird , Possum , Carolina , Golgi Apparatus
Set 2 : The Curtain > Runaway Jim , Guelah Papyrus , David Bowie , Lawn Boy > The Landlady , My Sweet One > Divided Sky , Hold Your Head Up > Love You 1 > Hold Your Head Up > Big Black Furry Creature from Mars
Encore : Magilla > Highway to Hell
Encore 2 : Contact > Uncle Pen
1 Band introductions.
Jamchart Notes:
David Bowie - An upward spiraling, malevolent jam, as demented as they get, eventually gives way to insane shredding by Big Red.
Show Notes:
The Bowie intro contained I Dream of Jeannie theme teases from Page. Before Love You, which included band introductions, Fish noted that his backup Mighty Mite vacuum has the same suction per inch as his broken Electrolux (which he acknowledged as "the greatest vacuum of all").
Listen now at Phish.in!
Gap Chart, Tour: 1990 Tour
Set 1 : Golgi Apparatus , You Enjoy Myself > Walk Away , Take the 'A' Train , Possum , Foam , Rhombus Narration > Divided Sky , Carolina
Set 2 : Mike's Song > I Am Hydrogen > Weekapaug Groove , Esther > Uncle Pen , The Sloth , The Lizards , I Didn't Know , Good Times Bad Times
Encore : Contact , Highway to Hell
Show Notes:
YEM contained a Sailor's Hornpipe tease, 'A' Train included a Woody Woodpecker theme tease, 'A' Train was teased in Possum, and Wilson was teased in the Rhombus Narration. I Didn't Know was dedicated to "George" and the second verse of Contact was dedicated to "Eli" for his birthday.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Trey Anastasio
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/trey-anastasio-april-04-2019-state-theatre-portland-me-usa.html
Tour: Not Part of a Tour
Show Notes: This show was the first performance of Trey's Ghosts in the Forest project. All songs were debuts except for Ruby Waves, which was performed for the first time since October 19, 2008. Intro was a prerecorded piano intro played over the PA. Wider contained a When the Saints Go Marching In tease from Trey.
Mike Gordon
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/mike-gordon-april-04-2018-higher-ground-south-burlington-vt-usa.html
Tour: Not Part of a Tour
Show Notes:
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/mike-gordon-april-04-2014-tarrytown-music-hall-tarrytown-ny-usa.html
Tour: Mike Gordon - Spring 2014 Overstep Tour
Show Notes: Trey Anastasio sat in on guitar for Cities and Tiny Little World.
John Fishman
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/jon-fishman-april-04-2000-the-wetlands-preserve-new-york-ny-usa.html
Tour: Fish - Pork Tornado Spring 2000
Show Notes:
Page McConnell
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/page-mcconnell-april-04-2007-the-gramercy-theatre-new-york-ny-usa.html
Tour: Page McConnell Spring & Summer 2007 Tour
Show Notes: Page performed "Strange Design" solo on piano.
2024.03.29 13:58 ClockworkBreakfast Shrine places and household magic of Eastern Slavs
Places of former shrines. There are some places that the baptized Eastern Slavs considered evil and dark. One of these places is the Kuntsevskoye Gorodishche. It is located on a promontory surrounded by two ravines, on the right bank of the river. There are still earth ramparts and ditches. The site of the settlement has an oval-rectangular shape, the surface of the site has a slope to the north. From the XI century to the XIII century the settlement was inhabited by Vyatichi, whose main occupation was arable farming and cattle breeding. Tools, household and craft items, jewelry were found. The place where the Kuntsevskoye settlement is located was called cursed, as it was considered a "pagan sanctuary" and a number of legends are connected with it. According to one of them, the Church of the Protection of the Virgin Mary, which stood here, disappeared under the ground without a trace, along with the cross in just one night. Also in the beds of streams near the settlement it is possible to find in a great number of fossils called among the people as "devil fingers". According to the personal testimony of the Russian archaeologist and historian Zabelin, back in the 1840s the inhabitants of a neighboring village had a custom on Trinity Day, approaching the Kuntsev settlement, to throw traditional green wreaths into the river from the opposite Kuntsev bank. There was also an interesting "kapishche" in modern Belarus. The boulder "Dzied" was located in Minsk, on the bank of the Svisloch. The shrine consisted of a hemispherical stone, a cross hung with embroidered rushniki and a platform. A part of this platform was on the ground and approached the boulder. The second part (about two meters wide and a meter long) overhung the water of the Svisloch River, it stood on poles that were hammered into the bottom of the Svisloch. The platform served the znakhar-priest for conducting services. Until 1888, a huge sacred oak "Volat" (a Giant) grew on the shrine, an unquenchable sacrificial fire burned, and its keeper - the "Old Man" (witch doctor) lived near it. The "Volat" oak, with a dry top and a large hollow, was four in circumference, under the oak they also prayed. The oak was in the center of the composition: on one side of the oak stood a boulder "Dzied", and on the second side - an altar with fire. At the beginning of the XX century there was neither oak nor fire around the stone. One stone stood, the kapiche was destroyed in 1905. In the early 1980s the boulder itself was moved to the Boulder Museum. In general, the tradition of stone worship is found among all Eastern Slavs. There are many so-called Sledoviks, which were first worshipped by the local Finnish-speaking population, and then the Slavic population began to worship them as well. There are also known a huge number of Bald Mountains, considered witches' places for their gatherings, such mountains are most of all in Ukraine and southern Russia. Many Orthodox churches and temples were built on the sites of former pagan places of worship. One of these is the Perynsky Skete in Northwestern Russia. Presumably, the very name of the place, Peryn, refers to the place of worship of Perun. Excavations in Peryn were carried out in 1948, and 1951-1952. In the course of works on the top of the ancient hill was opened a site with a diameter of 21 meters, surrounded by a ditch 5-7 meters wide and up to 1 meter deep. The inner border of the ditch formed almost a regular circle, while the outer border was uneven and had separate protrusions. Coals were found at the bottom of the ditch, and in the center of the site there was a pit from a massive pillar, that was presumably an idol. Remains of two more similar ditches were found away from the complex.
Household magic of the Eastern Slavs. Many different records of verbal incantations, which were pronounced like commands, remain. Russian ethnographer Afanasyev recorded the following report: Thus in 1648 Ivashka from Ustyug, nicknamed Soldat, when during the search they took out a stone from under his heel, confessed that the robber nicknamed Buben had been sitting with him in prison and taught him witchcraft, how to get rid of torture; it was necessary to incant on wax the words "the sky is bast and the earth is bast, and as in the earth the dead do not hear anything, so the name-bearer would not hear (in this context, experience) cruelty and torture!". However, most often the conspiracies had the following structure: introduction, desire, fixation. The introduction represented the conventional beginning of the story narrated in the incantation. The wish represented the command itself, or a certain event that was to happen. Fixing was a kind of semantic strengthening of the spell, for example, "locking" the spell on the lock. The incantations could be addressed both to Christian saints and God, and to Slavic pagan spirits, like Zarya, elements and heavenly bodies such as fire, winds, thunder, moon, stars, and in some cases not directed to any personality at all. It is distinctive that the incantations were uttered not only by "knowledgeable people", sorcerers and wizards, but also by ordinary people. A special place in the magic of the Eastern Slavs was occupied by agreements with different entities, for example, there are known practices of agreements of hunters and shepherds with Leshy. So in Vologda there was recorded such a ritual: "To call Leshy, according to the peasants, is very simple. One should only go to the forest at night without a cross and loudly say the phrase - Lord of the Forests, I have a request for you! - and the Leshy will immediately appear. The hunter devoted himself to Leshy, got hunting luck from him, asked him to drive more animals into traps. There are also known among Belarusians protective requests to Leshy, so that the owner of the forest would not take away the life of a traveler. There are also known stories about a hunter or a shepherd making an agreement with Leshy on paper or on a leaf. Such agreements were considered vicious witchcraft, and doomed the spirit of the hunter to the service of Leshy, and from the spirit of the hunter is born, typically, a new demon, for example, in the case of the beliefs of the Northern Russians, the Fire Serpent (or, as it is called in the Ukrainians, Perelestnik), the Slavic counterpart of the incubus. In general, it were hunters who most oftenly appealed to the unclean force. There are also known stories from Arkhangelsk province, where an old hunter had demons (bies) in his service. Also, during holiday fortune-telling, girls turned to the unclean forces to learn their fate and see their soulmate. In some places peasants honored specific spirits, as, for example, in Olonets province peasants honored a certain Udelnitsa. In 1874 ethnographer and folklorist E. V. Barsov published a note "Northern tales about lembojs and Udelnitsa" on the basis of demonological materials collected by him from Zaonezhye, in it he gave some details about this character. In 1976, an expedition of the Leningrad University also found in Zaonezhye representations about udelnitsa / kudelnitsa, but already degraded to memories of childhood scares and almost devoid of details. A poet born in those places wrote about the Germans as follows: "They believe in Luther-God, they do not put a cross on themselves, they do not observe the Great Vigil, they do not put a broom on Semik-Day, they do not bathe in a banya, they do not wash away unclean spirits, afterwards they do not call Udelnitsa: "Mother Rye Udilyona, comb the straw - golden hair, add liquor, treacle spike...". Of reliable charms of pagan origin there are very few of any notes left. The most famous talisman was the belt. Peasants believed in the magical power of embroidery on belts. And needlework did not require complicated devices and expensive materials - canvas, threads and needles were kept in every house. Craftswomen in the villages embroidered festive and everyday belts. They were kept and handed down through inheritance. Geometric patterns were often used in embroidery. This type of pattern emerged in ancient times: simple figures decorated clothes for many centuries. Ethnographers correlate straight lines in ornaments with the earth, wavy with water, cross with fire, and rhombus, circle or square - with the sun (although I have come across several studies linking the rhombus in embroidery with the earth). Men and women wore traditional clothes with belts: it was considered as indecent to walk without them as without a headdress. Even the word "raspoyasatsya" appeared, which means to lose restraint, to behave inappropriately. Lower shirt, sarafan, poneva skirt and pants were tied with a belt. The upper garment was held by a wide sash, which was wrapped twice around the torso. Peasants wove, wove and knitted belts of wool, hemp or linen. Small items needed in everyday life - knives, purses and bags - were hung from the belt. It was believed that the belt creates a magic circle and protects a person from dark forces. Monasteries made special belts with prayers woven on them. The same protection, only for the home, were rushniki and towels. Images of animals, plants and people were woven into the ornament. A lush tree with birds was considered one of the main symbols of protection. It was associated with the tree of life, on which the prosperity or death of farmers depended. The forces of nature had their own images: the sun was embroidered in the form of a horse, mother earth was embroidered in the form of a female figure with birds in her hands. Eastern Slavs believed in the magical power of jewelry because of their special shape, color and material. For example, beads made of shells and amber were considered amulets because of their "otherworldly", underwater origin. On one necklace could neighbor different amulets - next to the Christian crosses hung teeth and bones of animals. Zoomorphic amulets were made of teeth, bones and claws of animals. In ancient times it was believed that a part of an animal's body had the same protective power as its image. In some Russian regions in the XIX century, a bone from a chicken wing was attached to belts or jewelry. It was believed that it helped to wake up easier in the morning, it was called "vstavaranka". The Russians also had an amulet for chickens, "Chicken God", where the word "god" is used rather in the sense of "icon", " charm". These were stones with holes of natural origin, which were hung in henhouses, protecting chickens from kikimoras. Among all Eastern Slavs a type of carved ornament called rosetta is common, or in the Northern part of Russia, where such ornament was considered a protection against thunder, "thunder wheel". There are also sources that among the Carpathian Ukrainians there are mentions of another name, "Perun's sign". However, this sign was carved not only on houses, but also on instruments.
submitted by ClockworkBreakfast to slavic_mythology [link] [comments]
Household magic of the Eastern Slavs. Many different records of verbal incantations, which were pronounced like commands, remain. Russian ethnographer Afanasyev recorded the following report: Thus in 1648 Ivashka from Ustyug, nicknamed Soldat, when during the search they took out a stone from under his heel, confessed that the robber nicknamed Buben had been sitting with him in prison and taught him witchcraft, how to get rid of torture; it was necessary to incant on wax the words "the sky is bast and the earth is bast, and as in the earth the dead do not hear anything, so the name-bearer would not hear (in this context, experience) cruelty and torture!". However, most often the conspiracies had the following structure: introduction, desire, fixation. The introduction represented the conventional beginning of the story narrated in the incantation. The wish represented the command itself, or a certain event that was to happen. Fixing was a kind of semantic strengthening of the spell, for example, "locking" the spell on the lock. The incantations could be addressed both to Christian saints and God, and to Slavic pagan spirits, like Zarya, elements and heavenly bodies such as fire, winds, thunder, moon, stars, and in some cases not directed to any personality at all. It is distinctive that the incantations were uttered not only by "knowledgeable people", sorcerers and wizards, but also by ordinary people. A special place in the magic of the Eastern Slavs was occupied by agreements with different entities, for example, there are known practices of agreements of hunters and shepherds with Leshy. So in Vologda there was recorded such a ritual: "To call Leshy, according to the peasants, is very simple. One should only go to the forest at night without a cross and loudly say the phrase - Lord of the Forests, I have a request for you! - and the Leshy will immediately appear. The hunter devoted himself to Leshy, got hunting luck from him, asked him to drive more animals into traps. There are also known among Belarusians protective requests to Leshy, so that the owner of the forest would not take away the life of a traveler. There are also known stories about a hunter or a shepherd making an agreement with Leshy on paper or on a leaf. Such agreements were considered vicious witchcraft, and doomed the spirit of the hunter to the service of Leshy, and from the spirit of the hunter is born, typically, a new demon, for example, in the case of the beliefs of the Northern Russians, the Fire Serpent (or, as it is called in the Ukrainians, Perelestnik), the Slavic counterpart of the incubus. In general, it were hunters who most oftenly appealed to the unclean force. There are also known stories from Arkhangelsk province, where an old hunter had demons (bies) in his service. Also, during holiday fortune-telling, girls turned to the unclean forces to learn their fate and see their soulmate. In some places peasants honored specific spirits, as, for example, in Olonets province peasants honored a certain Udelnitsa. In 1874 ethnographer and folklorist E. V. Barsov published a note "Northern tales about lembojs and Udelnitsa" on the basis of demonological materials collected by him from Zaonezhye, in it he gave some details about this character. In 1976, an expedition of the Leningrad University also found in Zaonezhye representations about udelnitsa / kudelnitsa, but already degraded to memories of childhood scares and almost devoid of details. A poet born in those places wrote about the Germans as follows: "They believe in Luther-God, they do not put a cross on themselves, they do not observe the Great Vigil, they do not put a broom on Semik-Day, they do not bathe in a banya, they do not wash away unclean spirits, afterwards they do not call Udelnitsa: "Mother Rye Udilyona, comb the straw - golden hair, add liquor, treacle spike...". Of reliable charms of pagan origin there are very few of any notes left. The most famous talisman was the belt. Peasants believed in the magical power of embroidery on belts. And needlework did not require complicated devices and expensive materials - canvas, threads and needles were kept in every house. Craftswomen in the villages embroidered festive and everyday belts. They were kept and handed down through inheritance. Geometric patterns were often used in embroidery. This type of pattern emerged in ancient times: simple figures decorated clothes for many centuries. Ethnographers correlate straight lines in ornaments with the earth, wavy with water, cross with fire, and rhombus, circle or square - with the sun (although I have come across several studies linking the rhombus in embroidery with the earth). Men and women wore traditional clothes with belts: it was considered as indecent to walk without them as without a headdress. Even the word "raspoyasatsya" appeared, which means to lose restraint, to behave inappropriately. Lower shirt, sarafan, poneva skirt and pants were tied with a belt. The upper garment was held by a wide sash, which was wrapped twice around the torso. Peasants wove, wove and knitted belts of wool, hemp or linen. Small items needed in everyday life - knives, purses and bags - were hung from the belt. It was believed that the belt creates a magic circle and protects a person from dark forces. Monasteries made special belts with prayers woven on them. The same protection, only for the home, were rushniki and towels. Images of animals, plants and people were woven into the ornament. A lush tree with birds was considered one of the main symbols of protection. It was associated with the tree of life, on which the prosperity or death of farmers depended. The forces of nature had their own images: the sun was embroidered in the form of a horse, mother earth was embroidered in the form of a female figure with birds in her hands. Eastern Slavs believed in the magical power of jewelry because of their special shape, color and material. For example, beads made of shells and amber were considered amulets because of their "otherworldly", underwater origin. On one necklace could neighbor different amulets - next to the Christian crosses hung teeth and bones of animals. Zoomorphic amulets were made of teeth, bones and claws of animals. In ancient times it was believed that a part of an animal's body had the same protective power as its image. In some Russian regions in the XIX century, a bone from a chicken wing was attached to belts or jewelry. It was believed that it helped to wake up easier in the morning, it was called "vstavaranka". The Russians also had an amulet for chickens, "Chicken God", where the word "god" is used rather in the sense of "icon", " charm". These were stones with holes of natural origin, which were hung in henhouses, protecting chickens from kikimoras. Among all Eastern Slavs a type of carved ornament called rosetta is common, or in the Northern part of Russia, where such ornament was considered a protection against thunder, "thunder wheel". There are also sources that among the Carpathian Ukrainians there are mentions of another name, "Perun's sign". However, this sign was carved not only on houses, but also on instruments.
2023.10.25 14:57 lbabinz [PSN] Essential Picks Sale
Landing Page
submitted by lbabinz to VideoGameDealsCanada [link] [comments]
2023.10.09 16:00 glasgow1981 Winter Setup
 | But the bullet and accepted that summer has passed. Swapped out my (sidewall ripped) Pathfinder for the winter wheelset. submitted by glasgow1981 to DivergeGravelBikes [link] [comments] 42mm Rhombus Pros on Hunt 4season Gravel XtraWide wheels. A bit heavier and clunkier than my Roval Terras but a lot of fun to bulldoze things and not worry about it! SKS Soeedrockers ready to be attached for wet rides also. |
2023.09.23 21:10 aslfingerspell [SGS: Heia Safari] Have a positive rant about a board game!
Okay, technically not a "board game" in the sense of a literal boxed board game, but it's basically the kind of video game that's meant to be a digitized board game, complete with cards, counters, pips, dice rolling, etc.
Anyway, SGS: Heia Safari is a game that covers the African campaign of World War One. Here are all the things I like about it!
The freshest take on World War One, or even wargaming, I’ve seen in a while.
Too often, pop culture boils down conflicts into a glorified Greatest Hits slideshow, with entire theaters or even factions just straight-up ignored.
Did you know that Brazil fought in World War Two? You’d never know that from pop culture: Europe is just the invasion of Poland, Battle of France, Battle of Britain, Barbarossa/Battle of Moscow, Stalingrad, Kursk, D-Day, the Battle of the Bulge, and Berlin, you know the rest.
The Pacific side of the war is treated like a straight line from Pearl Harbor to Hiroshima, with a handful carrier battles (Midway and Coral Sea) and amphibious landings (Guadalcanal and Iwo Jima) along the way for flavor. Did you know there a whole American submarine campaign against Japanese shipping and an entire land war happening between Japan and China? Pearl Harbor is the day that will live in infamy because thousands of Americans lost their lives, but what about the tens of thousands of American and Filipino soldiers who were taken prisoner in the invasion of the Philippines?
At least WWII is a long slideshow.
WWI, on the other hand, is probably the most disrespected conflict in all of fiction and popular imagination. WWII battles capture the imagination of everyone: the skies over London, the jungles of Guadacanal, the black shores of Iwo Jima, the plains of Poland, the snow of Stalingrad, and the hedgegrows of Normandy. WWI battles in popular imagination begin and end with "generic brown field of shell craters". WWII fiction gets to run the full spectrum of human emotion: heroism, tragedy, revenge, liberation. The worst and best of humanity all on display. WWI in pop culture is just nihilistic sadness and despair, literally and figuratively stuck in the mud.
WWII gets to have glorious, decisive carrier battles, while the battleships of WWI, with literal years of buildup from the pre-war arms race, mostly stay at home save for the nothingburger of Jutland. It's the greatest battleship showdown in history with dozens of battleships...that results in the loss of 4 battlecruisers across both sides. WWII gets to have a dizzying array of cool and powerful tank designs capable of rapid and sweeping operations, while WWI has weird rhombuses that awkwardly lurch around at walking speed before breaking down after one day of action. WWI has poison gas that, while horrific and disabling, is countered by basic protective gear and doesn’t change the course of the war. WWII has nukes which shape the very nature of warfare to this day. WWII has countries overrun within weeks. WWI takes months to take over a single town.
Worst of all, WWI was a truly global war considering minor powers (like Japan) got in on the action and the Great Powers had colonies and troops all over the world, but too often people boil down World War One to just “Europe”. From there, they oversimplify “Europe” to “The Western Front”, and “The Western Front” to “trench warfare on the Western Front” (nobody seems to care about the initial weeks where armies did march and run around fighting field battles in the open). Finally, “trench warfare on the Western Front” gets further stereotyped into “generals are stupid and order troops to pointlessly run into No Man’s Land and get mowed down by machineguns”.
Few people seem to appreciate the complex operational and logistical problems that actually led to the stalemate, nor how hard people did try to innovate. It wasn’t taking enemy trenches that’s the problem, it was holding them; your artillery suppresses the defenders allowing your troops to cross NML safely, except once you take over the enemy trench, your reinforcements have to walk over mud, while the enemy’s reinforcements can come in by railways and roads beyond the range of your artillery. It’s the counterattacks that made WWI a stalemate, not the actual difficulty of making the initial attack yourself.
From this utter black hole of cliched mediocrity, SGS:HS takes us out of the mud of Europe and into the plains and forests of Africa, where you play as either the British or Germans. The Germans are trying to defend their colonies in Eastern Africa, and the British are trying to conquer them.
Even before talking about anything else, just the setting of this is so original. I didn’t realize WWI had an African campaign, which makes it not only a break from the normal WWI slideshow, but also a much more original gameplay experience. When you play a Europe-focused WWI game, you know how things are going to play out historically. On the other hand, it’s intensely immersive to play a historical game not knowing the actual history going in. You don’t know which strategies worked and which ones didn’t. You don’t know who won.
Playing in a minor theater also makes the whole conflict feel more epic, in a way. You’re not going to win the war in Africa, but every bit of hurt the British suffer is more reinforcements and supplies that they’ll have to spend conquering Africa, which won’t go to Europe. You get to feel like you’re influencing the broader war and playing your part even if you know you’re not decisive. A minor theater with a small scale also makes units feel much more special. Over in Europe there are grand armies with thousands of artillery pieces, but here you’ll safeguard a handful of batteries like the whole war depends on it.
The fluid nature of the theatre is also something to behold. Neither side has enough troops to actually create a "frontline"; it's basically just stacks of armies marching freely around. If the enemy digs in, you can literally just go around them; it's when they've dug into a place that you really want that you're actually forced to do battle.
You get to have your own experience, and a new one at that!
The combat system is basic and random but the cards make it interesting.
The SGS series of games all rely on the same core system: units have combat factors (basically attack and defense stats), and in combat you hit if a D20 rolls at or below your combat factor. You have an attack stat of 5, you hit on a 5 or less. Commanders give buffs, artillery fires before the main battle round, and cavalry can “pursue” and inflict additional hits after a winning battle. Simple enough, but a bit boring and somewhat too random.
However, where SGS really shines is its cards, which allow you to influence the narrative of the game, provide special one-time uses (like getting to peek at an enemy’s stack and see what units they have), or provide buffs and debuffs in combat. Deciding how and when to play these cards gives an added level of control and unpredictability, since both you and your opponent have these cards. If the combat system was just pure math, one could simply calculate some average DPR (Damage Per Round) and mathematically solve their way through the conflict.
With cards, things change. An all-but-guaranteed win turns into a hard fight when the enemy plays a card that significantly increases their combat power. An otherwise losing battle that would result in a whole stack getting wiped out instead turns into a bloodless escape when you play a card that allows everyone to get away before combat starts.
A game where you struggle against operational attrition as much as the enemy.
Modern soldiers do not expect to just drop dead from hypothermia or randomly get sick and die, let alone in the numbers that pre-modern troops faced. People really lose sight of just how bad disease, terrain, and weather could affect militaries throughout most of human history.
Most games seem to treat weather or terrain like a simple stat modifier: you get a penalty for attacking in the rain, or a bonus for defending on a hill, or need 2 movement points to get through a mountain range.
Few games seem to seriously consider that if you march 50,000 men over a mountain range, more than a few will break their ankles or fall off a cliff, or pass out from the thin air, or get too cold, or get taken out by avalanches and rockfalls. Disease is almost always ignored in wargames; I struggle to remember almost any game where having proper latrine facilities is as important as having good base defense.
Not here. SGS:HS is a game that remembers that even outside of any combat, militaries are still huge organizations of people that need constant maintenance. The weather and disease in Africa will just destroy your armies, especially if you are the British (i.e. being invaders, they are less acclimatized than the colonial German defenders). Your troops deployments will be determined by the rain/dry cycles of the region (and hence mosquitos) as much as the enemy. People will overheat. People will dehyrate. People will get malaria, and horses will fall to the dreaded tsetse flies.
It is actually kind of incredible to see whole stacks just…decay just by existing. SGS:HS is truly the first and so far only game I’ve ever played where I can say that a majority of my casualties will come from non-combat losses. That by itself is amazing.
You'll have to watch out for weather reports to keep your troops out of the worst of the heat and rain, and need a constant stream of reinforcements and replacements to make sure formations are even ready for combat. You must decide whether troops in some areas should endure malaria just a little longer if it means troops in another area get that one last push to succeed.
A good guerilla warfare experience:
A long while ago I made a post on here complaining about how there aren’t a lot of good games about guerilla warfare, especially playing as the guerillas.
Games about Vietnam and Afghanistan are (understandably) not very comfortable with the idea of allowing someone to play as the Viet Cong or Taliban, and too often “insurgent” or “guerilla” factions just end up playing like every other faction, just with the odd special ability.
Spanish guerillas in Napoleon: Total War are more flexible in pre-battle deployment, but it’s still a Total War game and you need to win battles and conquer cities. You cannot run off into the countryside and raid supply lines: you need to actually march on capitals and hold the line against enemies in open field battles.
The Rebellion in Empire at War can bypass Imperial fleets in orbit with small armies to fight land battles directly, but ultimately their economy and military is the same as the Empire: they control planets, get income, and spent it on the full panoply of capital ships, starfighters, tanks, etc. The Global Liberation Army in Command & Conquer lose the game by having their base destroyed just like China and the US. They just get some stealth units and are themed after terrorist groups, but push comes to shove they have tanks that can fight roughly on par with the militaries of superpowers.
In SGS:HS, I actually feel like I’m playing as two different sides with different capabilities and goals. The British are supported by entire battlefleets of the Royal Navy, while the Germans have to make do with a single cruiser and some gunboats. The British land forces get far more resources to spend on buying cards and reinforcement points, and more units which are much larger and capable of taking more punishment. However, the Germans are better acclimatized to Africa’s weather and diseases, and have smaller units of higher quality.
The fact that the British are the invaders also means they’ll extend their supply lines once they expand outward from their initial landing points, allowing the German player to concentrate on weaker stacks or even undefended supply units. The German player also has access to dummy units which can be used to manipulate the British. An entire stack of dummy units might move towards a British settlement, causing them to rush reinforcements to the area, while you actual forces strike elsewhere.
The victory conditions also hammer home the guerilla nature of the war. One of the core mechanics of the game is that the British can play reinforcements cards, but this comes at the cost of drawing away resources away from the war in Europe, which directly gives the German player victory points and increases the Entente Commitment score, which means an automatic German win if it gets too high.
To be fair, many guerilla-warfare centric games employ some version of the “pay for units with your victory conditions” mechanic. Afghanistan ‘08 and Vietnam ‘65 both allow the player to purchase units with “Political Points”, and Rebel: Inc has the player spend Reputation to keep Coalition troops around. However, what makes it more interesting is that SGS doesn't treat it's victory points like a currency that's spent. It's more like playing closer to the margins or raising the stakes.
You can get a massive amount of reinforcements as the British player, you just need to make sure you conquer enough German cities to make up for the VPs your reinforcement cards gave them. On the other hand, when you play Rebel Inc. it’s painful for me to lose 10+ Reputation just to keep a single Coalition unit around for another tour of duty. If you’re playing as the Germans, it’s delightful to grind down the British enough to make them beg for more reinforcements; if nothing else it's nice to be the one grinding the other side down, rather than being the one ground down.
Another key thing that helps drive home the guerilla feel of the game is that the victory conditions are not directly tied to conquering territory, at least not entirely. Basically, the British gain victory points the first time they take cities, and then get more VPs by holding them at the end of the game, while the Germans get victory points by holding onto cities at the end of the game. The British can only win by getting 75+ VP or destroying all of your units, and the Germans win by getting 75+ VP or driving up the Entente Commitment score to 30.
These sounds like subtle distinctions until you realize it means the German player does not have to zealously hold onto territory and fight a conventional war. If you can prevent key cities from ever falling into British hands, that’s great, but if you lose them, there’s no hurry to take them back since you can wait until the very last turn, and you can even lose all your cities and remain in play as long as you have even a single unit still alive and the British are under 75 VPs. You can send your armies into the jungle and grind the British down, forcing them to give you more victory points by playing reinforcement cards. These reinforcement cards also drive up the Entente Commitment score. Thus, you can win the war even if you've lost the vast majority or all of your territory.
As such, just staying alive, even just having one unit, negates one of the only two ways for the British to win. Yet another added layer of insurgent fun is Lettow, the German commander who has great bonuses but gives the British a lot of VP if he dies, yet constantly gives you a trickle of VPs if you keep him alive. You can send him off into the wilderness and keep him safe, or have him riding around taking part in battles at the risk to his life. Revolutions and guerilla movements often live and die on their leadership and charismatic figures, and choosing how to handle how much danger you expose him too is a nice touch.
One final nuance is that despite being the guerillas, the Germans are in fact incentivized to consistently take and hold onto some territory. There is a railway that runs across the width of their colony, and you get +2 VPs each quarter when you control all provinces along the railway.
Decent unit variety and scope without getting too unmanageable:
I have a very love-hate relationship with the idea of “unit variety” in wargames. On one hand, I absolutely love technical distinctions and categories of things. However, I feel like a lot of games struggle to make their unit variety actually meaningful: I once remember buying Panzer Corps with its promise of massive unit variety, only to realize that these “different” units were often just very minor upgrades of the same unit.
Conversely, I’m struck by how incredibly deep strategy games can get with so few unit types. Chess gets by on just six “unit types”, and Shogun 2: Total War is considered one of the best games in the series despite every faction having an identical roster save for the odd bonus or unique unit.
I think SGS:HS is a game that strikes it right. There’s enough unit variety: you have cavalry, artillery batteries, machinegunners, armored trains, regular infantry, and even indigenous allies who (while very weak in combat) are helpful as spies and scouts. I understand the basic strengths and weaknesses without having to consult guidebooks, and even within the same unit categories there are unique distinctions. For example, some of the best British troops are the King’s African Rifles, with consistently good combat performance, but hampered by political constraints in the early game (I think you need to play a card or go through an event chain until they can move into more areas). The British troops from India come in large but weak units. British units from Britain itself are relatively high quality, but not as large.
Some of my favorite units in the game comes from an event chain. The German cruiser Konigsberg has an event chain where you can tell it to stop raiding and hide in Africa’s rivers. The British will hunt down and destroy it, but by being sunk in shallow waters, the crew will survive and its guns will be salvaged, which gives you access to some great infantry and artillery units. That’s a decent amount of flavor and narrative buildup that makes them stand apart from other units, and really makes you feel when you lose them.
I also feel that SGS:HS is a very manageable game in scope. The size of eastern Africa the game portrays feels vast and fun to run around and hide in, but at the same time the number of units is not so great that turns take too long.
There are few things that turn me off from a wargame more than getting too fiddly with their scope: I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought to myself “Wait a minute. I am supposed to be a battalion commander; why do I have to tell individual tanks which direction to face? Why do I have to make decisions that individual pilots or tank crewmen should be making?
Educational Value:
Above all, I like wargames for what they can teach me about warfare. I don't want to just play someone's fantasy of what war is like, or what they imagine something to be. I want to get the feeling of a certain era, or what certain decisions were like, and so on. I don't necessarily need something to be a simulation, just be able to have some sort of takeaway, even if it's basic.
SGS:HS nails this down pretty well. It’s a game that’s showed me a whole part of World War One I was ignorant of: the fact that there even was an African campaign, the importance of the railroad, the complex political and military ties between the Great Powers and their colonial/indigenous troops, and how it feels to fight an asymmetrical conflict where the victory conditions and abilities of each side are different.
submitted by aslfingerspell to CharacterRant [link] [comments]
Anyway, SGS: Heia Safari is a game that covers the African campaign of World War One. Here are all the things I like about it!
The freshest take on World War One, or even wargaming, I’ve seen in a while.
Too often, pop culture boils down conflicts into a glorified Greatest Hits slideshow, with entire theaters or even factions just straight-up ignored.
Did you know that Brazil fought in World War Two? You’d never know that from pop culture: Europe is just the invasion of Poland, Battle of France, Battle of Britain, Barbarossa/Battle of Moscow, Stalingrad, Kursk, D-Day, the Battle of the Bulge, and Berlin, you know the rest.
The Pacific side of the war is treated like a straight line from Pearl Harbor to Hiroshima, with a handful carrier battles (Midway and Coral Sea) and amphibious landings (Guadalcanal and Iwo Jima) along the way for flavor. Did you know there a whole American submarine campaign against Japanese shipping and an entire land war happening between Japan and China? Pearl Harbor is the day that will live in infamy because thousands of Americans lost their lives, but what about the tens of thousands of American and Filipino soldiers who were taken prisoner in the invasion of the Philippines?
At least WWII is a long slideshow.
WWI, on the other hand, is probably the most disrespected conflict in all of fiction and popular imagination. WWII battles capture the imagination of everyone: the skies over London, the jungles of Guadacanal, the black shores of Iwo Jima, the plains of Poland, the snow of Stalingrad, and the hedgegrows of Normandy. WWI battles in popular imagination begin and end with "generic brown field of shell craters". WWII fiction gets to run the full spectrum of human emotion: heroism, tragedy, revenge, liberation. The worst and best of humanity all on display. WWI in pop culture is just nihilistic sadness and despair, literally and figuratively stuck in the mud.
WWII gets to have glorious, decisive carrier battles, while the battleships of WWI, with literal years of buildup from the pre-war arms race, mostly stay at home save for the nothingburger of Jutland. It's the greatest battleship showdown in history with dozens of battleships...that results in the loss of 4 battlecruisers across both sides. WWII gets to have a dizzying array of cool and powerful tank designs capable of rapid and sweeping operations, while WWI has weird rhombuses that awkwardly lurch around at walking speed before breaking down after one day of action. WWI has poison gas that, while horrific and disabling, is countered by basic protective gear and doesn’t change the course of the war. WWII has nukes which shape the very nature of warfare to this day. WWII has countries overrun within weeks. WWI takes months to take over a single town.
Worst of all, WWI was a truly global war considering minor powers (like Japan) got in on the action and the Great Powers had colonies and troops all over the world, but too often people boil down World War One to just “Europe”. From there, they oversimplify “Europe” to “The Western Front”, and “The Western Front” to “trench warfare on the Western Front” (nobody seems to care about the initial weeks where armies did march and run around fighting field battles in the open). Finally, “trench warfare on the Western Front” gets further stereotyped into “generals are stupid and order troops to pointlessly run into No Man’s Land and get mowed down by machineguns”.
Few people seem to appreciate the complex operational and logistical problems that actually led to the stalemate, nor how hard people did try to innovate. It wasn’t taking enemy trenches that’s the problem, it was holding them; your artillery suppresses the defenders allowing your troops to cross NML safely, except once you take over the enemy trench, your reinforcements have to walk over mud, while the enemy’s reinforcements can come in by railways and roads beyond the range of your artillery. It’s the counterattacks that made WWI a stalemate, not the actual difficulty of making the initial attack yourself.
From this utter black hole of cliched mediocrity, SGS:HS takes us out of the mud of Europe and into the plains and forests of Africa, where you play as either the British or Germans. The Germans are trying to defend their colonies in Eastern Africa, and the British are trying to conquer them.
Even before talking about anything else, just the setting of this is so original. I didn’t realize WWI had an African campaign, which makes it not only a break from the normal WWI slideshow, but also a much more original gameplay experience. When you play a Europe-focused WWI game, you know how things are going to play out historically. On the other hand, it’s intensely immersive to play a historical game not knowing the actual history going in. You don’t know which strategies worked and which ones didn’t. You don’t know who won.
Playing in a minor theater also makes the whole conflict feel more epic, in a way. You’re not going to win the war in Africa, but every bit of hurt the British suffer is more reinforcements and supplies that they’ll have to spend conquering Africa, which won’t go to Europe. You get to feel like you’re influencing the broader war and playing your part even if you know you’re not decisive. A minor theater with a small scale also makes units feel much more special. Over in Europe there are grand armies with thousands of artillery pieces, but here you’ll safeguard a handful of batteries like the whole war depends on it.
The fluid nature of the theatre is also something to behold. Neither side has enough troops to actually create a "frontline"; it's basically just stacks of armies marching freely around. If the enemy digs in, you can literally just go around them; it's when they've dug into a place that you really want that you're actually forced to do battle.
You get to have your own experience, and a new one at that!
The combat system is basic and random but the cards make it interesting.
The SGS series of games all rely on the same core system: units have combat factors (basically attack and defense stats), and in combat you hit if a D20 rolls at or below your combat factor. You have an attack stat of 5, you hit on a 5 or less. Commanders give buffs, artillery fires before the main battle round, and cavalry can “pursue” and inflict additional hits after a winning battle. Simple enough, but a bit boring and somewhat too random.
However, where SGS really shines is its cards, which allow you to influence the narrative of the game, provide special one-time uses (like getting to peek at an enemy’s stack and see what units they have), or provide buffs and debuffs in combat. Deciding how and when to play these cards gives an added level of control and unpredictability, since both you and your opponent have these cards. If the combat system was just pure math, one could simply calculate some average DPR (Damage Per Round) and mathematically solve their way through the conflict.
With cards, things change. An all-but-guaranteed win turns into a hard fight when the enemy plays a card that significantly increases their combat power. An otherwise losing battle that would result in a whole stack getting wiped out instead turns into a bloodless escape when you play a card that allows everyone to get away before combat starts.
A game where you struggle against operational attrition as much as the enemy.
Modern soldiers do not expect to just drop dead from hypothermia or randomly get sick and die, let alone in the numbers that pre-modern troops faced. People really lose sight of just how bad disease, terrain, and weather could affect militaries throughout most of human history.
Most games seem to treat weather or terrain like a simple stat modifier: you get a penalty for attacking in the rain, or a bonus for defending on a hill, or need 2 movement points to get through a mountain range.
Few games seem to seriously consider that if you march 50,000 men over a mountain range, more than a few will break their ankles or fall off a cliff, or pass out from the thin air, or get too cold, or get taken out by avalanches and rockfalls. Disease is almost always ignored in wargames; I struggle to remember almost any game where having proper latrine facilities is as important as having good base defense.
Not here. SGS:HS is a game that remembers that even outside of any combat, militaries are still huge organizations of people that need constant maintenance. The weather and disease in Africa will just destroy your armies, especially if you are the British (i.e. being invaders, they are less acclimatized than the colonial German defenders). Your troops deployments will be determined by the rain/dry cycles of the region (and hence mosquitos) as much as the enemy. People will overheat. People will dehyrate. People will get malaria, and horses will fall to the dreaded tsetse flies.
It is actually kind of incredible to see whole stacks just…decay just by existing. SGS:HS is truly the first and so far only game I’ve ever played where I can say that a majority of my casualties will come from non-combat losses. That by itself is amazing.
You'll have to watch out for weather reports to keep your troops out of the worst of the heat and rain, and need a constant stream of reinforcements and replacements to make sure formations are even ready for combat. You must decide whether troops in some areas should endure malaria just a little longer if it means troops in another area get that one last push to succeed.
A good guerilla warfare experience:
A long while ago I made a post on here complaining about how there aren’t a lot of good games about guerilla warfare, especially playing as the guerillas.
Games about Vietnam and Afghanistan are (understandably) not very comfortable with the idea of allowing someone to play as the Viet Cong or Taliban, and too often “insurgent” or “guerilla” factions just end up playing like every other faction, just with the odd special ability.
Spanish guerillas in Napoleon: Total War are more flexible in pre-battle deployment, but it’s still a Total War game and you need to win battles and conquer cities. You cannot run off into the countryside and raid supply lines: you need to actually march on capitals and hold the line against enemies in open field battles.
The Rebellion in Empire at War can bypass Imperial fleets in orbit with small armies to fight land battles directly, but ultimately their economy and military is the same as the Empire: they control planets, get income, and spent it on the full panoply of capital ships, starfighters, tanks, etc. The Global Liberation Army in Command & Conquer lose the game by having their base destroyed just like China and the US. They just get some stealth units and are themed after terrorist groups, but push comes to shove they have tanks that can fight roughly on par with the militaries of superpowers.
In SGS:HS, I actually feel like I’m playing as two different sides with different capabilities and goals. The British are supported by entire battlefleets of the Royal Navy, while the Germans have to make do with a single cruiser and some gunboats. The British land forces get far more resources to spend on buying cards and reinforcement points, and more units which are much larger and capable of taking more punishment. However, the Germans are better acclimatized to Africa’s weather and diseases, and have smaller units of higher quality.
The fact that the British are the invaders also means they’ll extend their supply lines once they expand outward from their initial landing points, allowing the German player to concentrate on weaker stacks or even undefended supply units. The German player also has access to dummy units which can be used to manipulate the British. An entire stack of dummy units might move towards a British settlement, causing them to rush reinforcements to the area, while you actual forces strike elsewhere.
The victory conditions also hammer home the guerilla nature of the war. One of the core mechanics of the game is that the British can play reinforcements cards, but this comes at the cost of drawing away resources away from the war in Europe, which directly gives the German player victory points and increases the Entente Commitment score, which means an automatic German win if it gets too high.
To be fair, many guerilla-warfare centric games employ some version of the “pay for units with your victory conditions” mechanic. Afghanistan ‘08 and Vietnam ‘65 both allow the player to purchase units with “Political Points”, and Rebel: Inc has the player spend Reputation to keep Coalition troops around. However, what makes it more interesting is that SGS doesn't treat it's victory points like a currency that's spent. It's more like playing closer to the margins or raising the stakes.
You can get a massive amount of reinforcements as the British player, you just need to make sure you conquer enough German cities to make up for the VPs your reinforcement cards gave them. On the other hand, when you play Rebel Inc. it’s painful for me to lose 10+ Reputation just to keep a single Coalition unit around for another tour of duty. If you’re playing as the Germans, it’s delightful to grind down the British enough to make them beg for more reinforcements; if nothing else it's nice to be the one grinding the other side down, rather than being the one ground down.
Another key thing that helps drive home the guerilla feel of the game is that the victory conditions are not directly tied to conquering territory, at least not entirely. Basically, the British gain victory points the first time they take cities, and then get more VPs by holding them at the end of the game, while the Germans get victory points by holding onto cities at the end of the game. The British can only win by getting 75+ VP or destroying all of your units, and the Germans win by getting 75+ VP or driving up the Entente Commitment score to 30.
These sounds like subtle distinctions until you realize it means the German player does not have to zealously hold onto territory and fight a conventional war. If you can prevent key cities from ever falling into British hands, that’s great, but if you lose them, there’s no hurry to take them back since you can wait until the very last turn, and you can even lose all your cities and remain in play as long as you have even a single unit still alive and the British are under 75 VPs. You can send your armies into the jungle and grind the British down, forcing them to give you more victory points by playing reinforcement cards. These reinforcement cards also drive up the Entente Commitment score. Thus, you can win the war even if you've lost the vast majority or all of your territory.
As such, just staying alive, even just having one unit, negates one of the only two ways for the British to win. Yet another added layer of insurgent fun is Lettow, the German commander who has great bonuses but gives the British a lot of VP if he dies, yet constantly gives you a trickle of VPs if you keep him alive. You can send him off into the wilderness and keep him safe, or have him riding around taking part in battles at the risk to his life. Revolutions and guerilla movements often live and die on their leadership and charismatic figures, and choosing how to handle how much danger you expose him too is a nice touch.
One final nuance is that despite being the guerillas, the Germans are in fact incentivized to consistently take and hold onto some territory. There is a railway that runs across the width of their colony, and you get +2 VPs each quarter when you control all provinces along the railway.
Decent unit variety and scope without getting too unmanageable:
I have a very love-hate relationship with the idea of “unit variety” in wargames. On one hand, I absolutely love technical distinctions and categories of things. However, I feel like a lot of games struggle to make their unit variety actually meaningful: I once remember buying Panzer Corps with its promise of massive unit variety, only to realize that these “different” units were often just very minor upgrades of the same unit.
Conversely, I’m struck by how incredibly deep strategy games can get with so few unit types. Chess gets by on just six “unit types”, and Shogun 2: Total War is considered one of the best games in the series despite every faction having an identical roster save for the odd bonus or unique unit.
I think SGS:HS is a game that strikes it right. There’s enough unit variety: you have cavalry, artillery batteries, machinegunners, armored trains, regular infantry, and even indigenous allies who (while very weak in combat) are helpful as spies and scouts. I understand the basic strengths and weaknesses without having to consult guidebooks, and even within the same unit categories there are unique distinctions. For example, some of the best British troops are the King’s African Rifles, with consistently good combat performance, but hampered by political constraints in the early game (I think you need to play a card or go through an event chain until they can move into more areas). The British troops from India come in large but weak units. British units from Britain itself are relatively high quality, but not as large.
Some of my favorite units in the game comes from an event chain. The German cruiser Konigsberg has an event chain where you can tell it to stop raiding and hide in Africa’s rivers. The British will hunt down and destroy it, but by being sunk in shallow waters, the crew will survive and its guns will be salvaged, which gives you access to some great infantry and artillery units. That’s a decent amount of flavor and narrative buildup that makes them stand apart from other units, and really makes you feel when you lose them.
I also feel that SGS:HS is a very manageable game in scope. The size of eastern Africa the game portrays feels vast and fun to run around and hide in, but at the same time the number of units is not so great that turns take too long.
There are few things that turn me off from a wargame more than getting too fiddly with their scope: I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought to myself “Wait a minute. I am supposed to be a battalion commander; why do I have to tell individual tanks which direction to face? Why do I have to make decisions that individual pilots or tank crewmen should be making?
Educational Value:
Above all, I like wargames for what they can teach me about warfare. I don't want to just play someone's fantasy of what war is like, or what they imagine something to be. I want to get the feeling of a certain era, or what certain decisions were like, and so on. I don't necessarily need something to be a simulation, just be able to have some sort of takeaway, even if it's basic.
SGS:HS nails this down pretty well. It’s a game that’s showed me a whole part of World War One I was ignorant of: the fact that there even was an African campaign, the importance of the railroad, the complex political and military ties between the Great Powers and their colonial/indigenous troops, and how it feels to fight an asymmetrical conflict where the victory conditions and abilities of each side are different.
2023.06.17 17:28 MeleeMeistro My rough idea for a LDR season
So it's been a year since I watched season 3 of the show, and I've had some time to reflect and think about some concepts and ideas for episodes that fit into my own personal 'season' of sorts. It's a close call, but I'd say my favourite episodes are TVPOTM, the witness, good hunting, Mason's Rats, and of course Bad Travelling, and these probably have some influence.
Bear in mind these ideas are in no way fleshed out and are just concepts to be expanded upon. Anyway, enough blabbering...
Ok, so it might be a bit strange to open with a horror, but in my head, for this season idea it makes sense (it may also for you).
What's unique about this episode is that it's entirely in first person, with alternating characters throughout the story.
A few explorers find themselves venturing into a mysterious forest impregnated with a thick mist that hampers their range of view. They soon become lost and are unable to find an escape path. Knowing they won't escape these woods in short time, they decide to set up camp and try to survive in hopes that some form of help arrives. On their way to finding a suitable camping spot, they come across a discarded diary of a previous explorer, called [Name here].
Now, one of the things our explorers need in order to survive is fire, and in order to get that, they need wood. You see, throughout their feeble attempt at survival, they could pick berries, harvest meat from the wildlife, and be fine...
But the moment they cut a branch from a tree... Everything changes.
Our explorers light a campfire every night they survive, and in order to do this, they need to gather more and more wood, which means cutting more branches from the trees around them. Little do they know, that this forest is guarded. Lurking literally 'within the mists' is a half man-half tree, axe wielding being known as The Lumberjack, that hunts those who dare "do harm" to the forest.
Through the perspective of two of the three characters, you witness their fates by the Lumberjack's hand, except the one with the diary, who finds out that the being hunting our survivors is in fact the previous explorer in said diary, who became "one with the forest".
This last survivor.... would go on to join the Lumberjack in guarding the forest, but not before being.... assimilated.
A Global Pandemic emerges in modern society, caused by a virus with unusual properties.
This aerosolised virus doesn't cause any severe illness, only a sniffle in a few patients, but it has the property of making infected persons insatiably in love with people around them, causing people to have a strong urge to hug, kiss, and invite perhaps more intimate company with others. This also happens to be the mechanism of both reproduction and transmission of the virus, which is actually kind of close to how a virus does so in reality.
Anyway, this virus has some positive consequences for humanity. For example, I'm thinking of a scene where some people are watching TV and the news comes on with reports of soldiers at war, on both sides, laying down their arms and engaging in the biggest make-out the world has ever seen.
The negative consequence of the virus, however, is that eventually leads to overpopulation by the 'logical' route. It's also kind of 'indiscriminate' in my headcanon, but I intend for this episode to be kind of light-hearted, so 🤷♂️.
Anyway, in the end the world is presented with a dilemma of whether or not to cure the virus, and it's uncertain whether it can be contained at all...
In this story we are presented with a society consisting of walking, talking prisms of different shape and colour. Triangles are yellow, squares are blue, and circles are green.
Central to this society is the idea of "fitting in", in the literal sense. Schools, workplaces, hospitals, etc, have entrances with square, circular, and triangular holes. This means that in this world, if you're a square, circle, or triangle, then chances are, you'll get along just fine. However, there are shapes in this world other than the usual three.
Enter our MC, a star. Our star cannot fit in any of the holes needed to go to school, join indoor social activities, get a job, etc. It, like all other minority shapes, is considered a social outcast, forgotten about by the rest of society.
Star gives it it's best shot. It tries to fit into the circular hole, but its apexes are too long. It knows it can't fit in the other holes, so gives up, atleast for now.
The star eventually runs into two other shapes. One is a rhombus (pink/mauve), the other a square that for some reason insists it's a circle (more on this side plot in a bit). The rhombus is pretty much in a similar position as the star, and has been friends with the 'other' shape for a while now.
So, the star and rhombus go for a walk, while the 'square' goes home. While they are walking along the street, the rhombus talks about its past, how it can't fit in, etc, until something catches our star's eye: a beige moon crest. Our star is fascinated and infatuated by this individual. The thing is though, the crest can infact fit in, through the circular hole.
Meanwhile, at their home, we see our square looking into their mirror, and seeing a circle. It draws a circle on itself before going downstairs to have dinner with it's parents, who are disgraced by what they have seen. "you're a square! You'll always be a square!" One of the parents shouts. The square>circle gets kicked out of the house. (And that's all I have for now with that plot)
Back to our MC. Having fallen in love with the crest, he tries to talk to her. They agree to a date, but there's one problem, the crest will be able to fit into the restaurant, but the star cannot. The episode ends with the crest breaking up with the star, after saying "I guess it's because you just can't fit in".
Also something I didn't mention beforehand is that triangles are very few and far between and only have one eye (for the Memes) and are basically the elite of this society.
Human beings, as we know, have throughout history waged countless wars with eachother over resources, ideologies, agendas, and so on. But humans are peace-loving apes in comparison to one of the most warmongering species on earth: Ants!
In this episode, we witness the horrors of the great ant wars! Except this time, these Ants have guns, tanks, planes, you name it! Who will prevail? Who knows, but may the strongest ant colony win!
Follow the story of an Ant Private who gets deployed into one of the most gruesome battles he's ever been a part of, losing many of his comrades in the process.
It's in the far future. The heat death of the universe is imminent, and the last speck of humanity, a Eutopian superhabitat that luxuriously homes a trillion humans is about to be engulfed by the last supermassive black hole in existence.
The people aboard the megastructure are happy, even though they face imminent death. They enjoy homes and lands that nobody today could dream of; they live like gods. They are surrounded by 'nature', and have mastered the art of teleporting to social gatherings, should they need to, as they have the innate ability to simulate hyper realistic environments where they can interact with other "players" from the other side of the habitat.
The habitat is lit by an artificial star, which orbits the habitat to emulate day and night cycles.
Everything has been this way for hunanity's last few million years of survival. However, in just a few months, everything.... And I mean everything, will come to an end.
Well, that's a wrap! Let me know what you guys think! You're also free to expand upon my ideas :-)
submitted by MeleeMeistro to LoveDeathAndRobots [link] [comments]
Bear in mind these ideas are in no way fleshed out and are just concepts to be expanded upon. Anyway, enough blabbering...
- Within the Mists - 🌳⛏️💀 (it's meant to be an axe)
Ok, so it might be a bit strange to open with a horror, but in my head, for this season idea it makes sense (it may also for you).
What's unique about this episode is that it's entirely in first person, with alternating characters throughout the story.
A few explorers find themselves venturing into a mysterious forest impregnated with a thick mist that hampers their range of view. They soon become lost and are unable to find an escape path. Knowing they won't escape these woods in short time, they decide to set up camp and try to survive in hopes that some form of help arrives. On their way to finding a suitable camping spot, they come across a discarded diary of a previous explorer, called [Name here].
Now, one of the things our explorers need in order to survive is fire, and in order to get that, they need wood. You see, throughout their feeble attempt at survival, they could pick berries, harvest meat from the wildlife, and be fine...
But the moment they cut a branch from a tree... Everything changes.
Our explorers light a campfire every night they survive, and in order to do this, they need to gather more and more wood, which means cutting more branches from the trees around them. Little do they know, that this forest is guarded. Lurking literally 'within the mists' is a half man-half tree, axe wielding being known as The Lumberjack, that hunts those who dare "do harm" to the forest.
Through the perspective of two of the three characters, you witness their fates by the Lumberjack's hand, except the one with the diary, who finds out that the being hunting our survivors is in fact the previous explorer in said diary, who became "one with the forest".
This last survivor.... would go on to join the Lumberjack in guarding the forest, but not before being.... assimilated.
- Love Bug - ❤️(virus)🌍
A Global Pandemic emerges in modern society, caused by a virus with unusual properties.
This aerosolised virus doesn't cause any severe illness, only a sniffle in a few patients, but it has the property of making infected persons insatiably in love with people around them, causing people to have a strong urge to hug, kiss, and invite perhaps more intimate company with others. This also happens to be the mechanism of both reproduction and transmission of the virus, which is actually kind of close to how a virus does so in reality.
Anyway, this virus has some positive consequences for humanity. For example, I'm thinking of a scene where some people are watching TV and the news comes on with reports of soldiers at war, on both sides, laying down their arms and engaging in the biggest make-out the world has ever seen.
The negative consequence of the virus, however, is that eventually leads to overpopulation by the 'logical' route. It's also kind of 'indiscriminate' in my headcanon, but I intend for this episode to be kind of light-hearted, so 🤷♂️.
Anyway, in the end the world is presented with a dilemma of whether or not to cure the virus, and it's uncertain whether it can be contained at all...
- Fit in - ⬜⚪🔺
In this story we are presented with a society consisting of walking, talking prisms of different shape and colour. Triangles are yellow, squares are blue, and circles are green.
Central to this society is the idea of "fitting in", in the literal sense. Schools, workplaces, hospitals, etc, have entrances with square, circular, and triangular holes. This means that in this world, if you're a square, circle, or triangle, then chances are, you'll get along just fine. However, there are shapes in this world other than the usual three.
Enter our MC, a star. Our star cannot fit in any of the holes needed to go to school, join indoor social activities, get a job, etc. It, like all other minority shapes, is considered a social outcast, forgotten about by the rest of society.
Star gives it it's best shot. It tries to fit into the circular hole, but its apexes are too long. It knows it can't fit in the other holes, so gives up, atleast for now.
The star eventually runs into two other shapes. One is a rhombus (pink/mauve), the other a square that for some reason insists it's a circle (more on this side plot in a bit). The rhombus is pretty much in a similar position as the star, and has been friends with the 'other' shape for a while now.
So, the star and rhombus go for a walk, while the 'square' goes home. While they are walking along the street, the rhombus talks about its past, how it can't fit in, etc, until something catches our star's eye: a beige moon crest. Our star is fascinated and infatuated by this individual. The thing is though, the crest can infact fit in, through the circular hole.
Meanwhile, at their home, we see our square looking into their mirror, and seeing a circle. It draws a circle on itself before going downstairs to have dinner with it's parents, who are disgraced by what they have seen. "you're a square! You'll always be a square!" One of the parents shouts. The square>circle gets kicked out of the house. (And that's all I have for now with that plot)
Back to our MC. Having fallen in love with the crest, he tries to talk to her. They agree to a date, but there's one problem, the crest will be able to fit into the restaurant, but the star cannot. The episode ends with the crest breaking up with the star, after saying "I guess it's because you just can't fit in".
Also something I didn't mention beforehand is that triangles are very few and far between and only have one eye (for the Memes) and are basically the elite of this society.
- The War Beneath Our Feet - 🐜💂🔫
Human beings, as we know, have throughout history waged countless wars with eachother over resources, ideologies, agendas, and so on. But humans are peace-loving apes in comparison to one of the most warmongering species on earth: Ants!
In this episode, we witness the horrors of the great ant wars! Except this time, these Ants have guns, tanks, planes, you name it! Who will prevail? Who knows, but may the strongest ant colony win!
Follow the story of an Ant Private who gets deployed into one of the most gruesome battles he's ever been a part of, losing many of his comrades in the process.
- Nothing Lasts Forever - ✴️🕳️💀
It's in the far future. The heat death of the universe is imminent, and the last speck of humanity, a Eutopian superhabitat that luxuriously homes a trillion humans is about to be engulfed by the last supermassive black hole in existence.
The people aboard the megastructure are happy, even though they face imminent death. They enjoy homes and lands that nobody today could dream of; they live like gods. They are surrounded by 'nature', and have mastered the art of teleporting to social gatherings, should they need to, as they have the innate ability to simulate hyper realistic environments where they can interact with other "players" from the other side of the habitat.
The habitat is lit by an artificial star, which orbits the habitat to emulate day and night cycles.
Everything has been this way for hunanity's last few million years of survival. However, in just a few months, everything.... And I mean everything, will come to an end.
Well, that's a wrap! Let me know what you guys think! You're also free to expand upon my ideas :-)
2023.06.14 17:35 participating [Newbie Thread] WoT Read-Along - Winter's Heart - Final Thoughts & Trivia
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For more information, or to see the full schedule for all previous entries, please see the wiki page for the read-along.
BOOK NINE SCHEDULE
This week we will be discussing Book Nine: Winter's Heart, as a whole.
Next week we will be discussing Book Ten: Crossroads of Twilight, Prologue and Chapter 1.
DISCUSSION
In lieu of chapter summaries this week, I have some information to present to you. Some of the information comes from outside interviews, or are the culmination of fan speculation to reach a consensus on certain unclear events that aren't elaborated on in future books.
As a caveat, nothing I write below can in any way be considered a spoiler. I will be providing a few bits of trivia that, while not in and of themselves spoilers, do concretely answer some questions that have been asked, whose answers have been revealed by the end of this book, but in easy to miss ways. I will, however, be placing this trivia behind spoiler tags for those who wish to avoid it.
Beyond that, I'd like everyone to use this thread to give their overall thoughts on this book. Let us know your predictions going forward, your favorite characters, things you liked and disliked about it. Feel free to ask open ended questions, or for clarification if you feel you didn't understand something.
PREVIOUS TRIVIA
Here are links to the trivia posts for the previous books, in case you missed them:
I have compiled a list of all of the prophecies you have encountered to date. It has now been updated with the prophecies from this book. You can find a link to each book's prophecies from this wiki page. The prophecies are presented as they are found in the books, completely spoiler free, with no comment as to when or if they've been fulfilled.
TIMELINE
Robert Jordan was obsessive in the details in his descriptions. Nowhere is it more evident than in his time keeping. It's subtle, but he always provides a reference to how much time has passed in the series, either by mentioning specifics, like "two days ago", or by meticulously plotting out the phases of the moon and mentioning it as scenery. Because of this, there are very detailed sites that provide a day by day chronology of the entire series. This is only relevant because in some books the overall pacing is surprising, in that so much happens in so little time. I'll hide this behind spoilers, but all I'm going to list here is how long the seventh book spanned: 33 days. There was no gap between books 8 and 9. In fact, there is an 11 day overlap between events at the last 3rd of The Path of Daggers and the beginning of this book (primarily the prologue, with mention of some previous events up through chapter 10 of this book).
It has been this long since the start of the series: 716 days.
GLOSSARY
Now that we've finished the "prologue" of the story in the first three books, there will be fewer terms in the glossary that are important. I still recommend waiting until you've finished a book to read the glossary for that book, to avoid spoilers. Here are the important entries for this book:
This section will be a full accounting of all of the Forsaken. Who's alive, who's dead, and who has been resurrected as whom. You've all done a great job with your guessing. I'm choosing to verify the answers here because a) this book explicitly confirms most of them, b) had you been reading along as the books were published, you'd have years of solidifying these guesses with others and would believe beyond a shadow of a doubt you knew who was who, and c) by this point, Robert Jordan had explicitly confirmed all of their statuses and identities in interviews. So nothing in this section will be a spoiler that the fandom didn't already know at this point in the series.
Who is alive: Semirhage, Mesaana, Graendal, Moghedien, Demandred
Who is dead and not coming back: Be'lal (balefired by Moiraine), Rahvin (balefired by Rand), Asmodean (traitor to the Dark One, not worth resurrecting, as the Dark One tells Demandred in the prologue of Lord of Chaos), Sammael (see next paragraph)
Sammael should be the only "shock" (hopefully mild) here who is not going to be resurrected. While not killed by balefire, there was some timey-wimey-ness involved with his death. Moreover, Mashadar is said to corrupt souls, so that fact that he was devoured by Mashadar should hint that the Dark One wasn't going to bring Sammael back. We enjoyed your theorizing on his death and potential resurrection, so I decided to wait until now to confirm that he is gone. Jordan wasn't so entertained by the fandom's theorizing. He had the following to say about Sammael's death:
Aran'gar is the reincarnation of Balthamel. The primary clue that points to this is that Osan'gar thinks him being placed in a woman's body was a "fine joke" because (as we mainly learned in the guidebook) Balthamel was a womanizer. We've got the least amount of in-book concreteness for this, but by process of elimination, this is the only pairing that makes sense. We also have this from a post A Crown of Swords interview:
Finally we have Moridin, who is the reincarnation of Ishamael. I will delve into this in the next section.
SAY IT AIN'T SAA
Given all the information above, Ishamael is the only possible candidate for Moridin, but everyone here has been theorizing in just the right way to arrive at this fact independently. Even the other Forsaken think he's Ishamael in their POVs. We got confirmation from Jordan in interviews after The Path of Daggers. What I want to provide you with here is a bit more information we got during those interviews that more closely ties the two together.
After the introduction of Moridin, we learn that he uses the True Power a lot. In the POV of other Forsaken we learn that the True Power is more addictive than saidin and can inflict even more madness on the wielder, and that very few have been granted access to it by the Dark One. One of the effects of channeling the True Power is the manifestation of saa in the user's eyes. Saa are tiny black specs that float across the eyes. The longer the use of the True Power, the more saa appear. In these interviews we learned that eventually the saa begin to obscure the eye even when the channeler isn't actively using the True Power. They increase to the point where the entirety of the eyes become black. At this point, the wielder is said to be completely and irreversibly insane.
The manifestation of the saa beyond this point turns the eyes and the inside of the wielder's mouth into pits of fire. This is the visage that appears in Rand's (and Mat's and Perrin's) dreams in The Eye of the World when confronted by Ba'alzamon. Ishamael had been using the True Power so long that he has gone insane enough to believe/pretend to be the Dark One. And his physical body had been warped by the True Power so much that his eyes and mouth are chasms of flame. The other Forsaken think to themselves that Moridin's use of the True Power is dangerously frequent to the point of him using it for trivial things like killing a rat (which Ba'alzamon did frequently in the first 3 books). All this points definitively to Moridin being Ishamael resurrected.
A HORSE IS A HORSE, OF COURSE, OF COURSE (AKA LET'S GET BIBLICAL)
I would like to share a really dumb joke theory that has persisted throughout the fandom ever since the publication of this book. First, I'm going to bring up a quote from way back in book one:
I DEMANDRED YOU TELL ME!
I don't do this often, but this section will definitively debunk one of the theories that has popped up during the read-along. I am choosing to debunk this now primarily to share some external information related to the theory. And I think you all caught on to this by the end of this book. Demandred is not Taim. They individually (along with Moridin) gave orders to the Asha'man Raefar Kisman to kill Rand. And when Demandred runs into Damer Flinn during the battle of Shadar Logoth, he doesn't recognize him. Taim would have though, since Flinn is the first person Rand had Taim test for the ability to channel saidin.
Don't fret though, Taimandred (some of you even independently came up with the same term the fandom came up with) was a long, long running theory. After Jordan's passing, there were notes uncovered that outlined some early ideas he had for the series. In this very early draft, Jordan actually did plan on having Taim be Demandred. He changed his mind at some point though.
One of my pet peeves about the fandom is that they tend to exaggerate or read meaning into bits of information like this far beyond what's actually implied. There are some people who point to this revelation as proof that Taim was Demandred, but that Robert Jordan retconned this because fans figured it out earlier than he wanted. I've not seen anything to suggest Jordan ever changed his mind about his story based on anything the fandom said or did. For all we know, these notes were written before the first book was ever published and he changed his mind about it just as early. Or he changed his mind while writing book 6 because he wanted to go a different direction. We'll never really know, but I like to combat the misinformation when I see it.
EVERYONE LOVES A CLEAN TAINT
It took 9 books, a short story, and a book of really bad artwork, but we finally got to see the "cleansing of saidin". If you had been following along as the books were publish, you would have had to wait 10 years and 10 months. Luckily for us it only took 1 year and 10 months.
Before I continue with this section, I want to offer a prompt. Last week many of the veterans noticed that much of your discussion got side tracked by talking about Padan Fain. So, we wanted to ask you what you thought about this momentous event. Where do you think the world goes from here, now that saidin is clean? Do you, like Cadsuane, have any doubts that saidin is actually clean? What happens now with the Asha'man? What are your general thoughts about the whole thing?
That out of the way, this section will delve into some of the foreshadowing surrounding this event, as well as the mechanics of what Rand did, given to us by Robert Jordan during interviews. The first hint Rand gets is not the first hint we get. I actually forgot to include this in the prophecies wiki page I created for The Path of Daggers, but I've added it now if you want to take a look. The short of it, is that we learn that Rand talked with Herid Fel and in that discussion, Rand reveals that he asked the Aelfinn how to cleanse saidin when he stepped through the redstone doorway in Tear. We don't learn their reply, but Fel tells Rand that their reply stated "sound principles, in both high philosophy and natural philosophy". After Jordan's passing, someone found a note that revealed the exact wording of the reply the Aelfinn gave to Rand. I'll quote it directly here:
We know Fain's dagger is from Shadar Logoth, which harbors a different kind of evil than that of the Dark One. The never-healing wound in Rand's side was inflicted in The Great Hunt when Ishamael (as Ba'alzamon) stabbed his staff into Rand's side. Here is the quote from that incident:
So we have the evil of the Dark One and the evil of Shadar Logoth walled away by Flinn, and he suggests that they may be able to "kill each other off." The evils are unlike; from different sources (the Dark One and Shadar Logoth). And yet they are the same; they are both evil. They attract and cancel each other out, as the Aelfinn suggest. This is the information Rand needed to figure out how to cleanse saidin.
As for the mechanics of what Rand does, I shall outline them here. We learned this from Jordan in interviews that he gave. I will state that this is largely metaphorical, as Rand states that there were no grand weaves in the sky. He used saidar to create a tube, or a hose. He calls it a conduit. He places this conduit over Shadar Logoth and begins to push saidin through the hose. This acts like a siphon, like when you siphon gas out of a car. Once you get it going, it flows by itself. This action isn't completely free; Rand has to spend strength keeping that saidar hose from unweaving due to the stress of how much saidin is flowing through it. He also has to spend some effort to keep the flow of saidin flowing through the conduit; the siphon isn't nearly as good as a gravity siphon for a car.
As the tainted saidin flows through Shadar Logoth, the taint (the Dark One's evil) is attracted to the evil of Shadar Logoth, so it leeches out of saidin and into Shadar Logoth. This continues all day until presumably all of the taint is out of saidin and into Shadar Logoth. And then the two evils cancel each other out, resulting in the destruction of Shadar Logoth.
YOU'RE SO FAIN, I BET YOU THINK THIS SECTION IS ABOUT YOU
Speaking of Padan Fain, there was a lot of discussion last week about him. I wanted to take this opportunity to clarify some previous information about him, as a reminder, as well as introduce some new information about him that we got from notes and interviews: First is a reminder of who exactly Padan Fain is. He's a Darkfriend. He was one for 40 years. He was so vile and evil a Darkfriend that he is one of the few non-channelers to visit Shayol Ghul. And he did so multiple times. Things were done to him that could only be done at this place. He was compelled to be a hunter for the newly reborn Dragon. His thoughts and memories were distilled and poured over and Padan Fain resented and hated this entire process. It stole away his agency and made him a hound for the Dark One. In some ways he hates the Dark One as much as he hates Rand.
While chasing Rand al'Thor, he ended up following him into Shadar Logoth. There he was possessed by the entity known as Mordeth. This possession is something of an oddity because there are 3 entities inside of this body vying for control: Padan Fain, Mordeth, and the bits and pieces of the process the Dark One put him through. This is why he's constantly changing his name and accent and mannerisms. (Quick Fact: one of those names was Ordeith, which is Old Tongue for "wormwood". In the Book of Revelations, Wormwood is the name of a star (or angel, or meteor, depending on the interpretation) that is supposed to crash into the Earth during its final days, poisoning 1/3rd of all the world's freshwater sources.)
This is why he is so erratic, popping up here and there, not necessarily accomplishing or seeing through the goals he claims to have. For all intents and purposes, he is a wild card. I mentioned in the comments section when we discussed The World of Robert Jordan's "The Wheel of Time" that Jordan said this about Fain:
Mordeth was a normal human man who lived during the Trolloc Wars. More importantly, he was a good man. He hated the Shadow and began looking into it; for ways to defeat it. He looked into everything he could, even things that were not necessarily related to the Dark One. He even visited the Finns in his search. (We do not know if he visited the Aelfinn, the Eelfinn, or both). In this journey, he looked into a lot of things he shouldn't have. There are evils that are not necessarily directly related to the Dark One (though metaphysically everything evil is part of the Dark One). This is kind of similar to Perrin's wolfbrother abilities. Fain found something older... some "other" evil that was just as old in similar ways. All these evil things he found affected him and turned him from the good man he was into what he became.
He eventually entered the city of Aridhol and gained the favor of the king. Mordeth infected the king and every other resident of Aridhol, turning them into zealots. Their mission was "the victory of the Light is all," meaning that any evil or horror was forgivable in service of the Light. They attempted to use the strategies of the Shadow to fight the Shadow. The city devoured itself, becoming something different than the Shadow, empowered by something other than the Dark One. All that remained was Mashadar and the apparition of Mordeth; imprisoned in Shadar Logoth until Padan Fain came along and Mordeth infected him.
REWIND
This is some trivia about an event that happened way back in The Great Hunt. While Rand was hunting down Padan Fain, he and the Shienarans came across an abandoned village. Rand stepped into a building and was trapped in a "time" loop, with the room gradually filling up with flies and then resetting. He channeled to escape this loop. Who caused this is actually a bit of a debate in the fandom.
During an interview, Jordan explicitly stated that this was a trap Fain left for Rand. Many members of the fandom were confused by this answer, and a bit unsatisfied because it suggests that Fain has powers that he's never again utilized. This book, however, does point to Fain having illusory powers. He killed two of the renegade Asha'man in Far Madding, and then created illusions of them walking up the stairs to distract Rand before ambushing him. This at least lends some credence to Fain causing the incident in book two. The entire trap could have just been an illusion caused by Fain.
The fandom, however, is still split. The other potential culprit for this event could be Lanfear. Just before Rand is trapped, Uno sees a "woman in a white dress" peaking through the windows of a house, but isn't able to find her. This is Lanfear disguised as Selene. Her whole schtick this book is putting Rand into odd situations to force him to channel saidin, and he had to use saidin to get out of the trap.
To add fuel to the fire, after Jordan's passing, his notes were looked into and he had explicit notes stating that Lanfear caused this event. Additionally, both his wife/editor and his continuity assistant both believed it was Lanfear and never knew about or heard about the interview where Jordan stated it was Fain. Ultimately, this is left up to the reader to decide, since we cannot get a definitive answer from Jordan. I personally fall into the Lanfear camp, but I think both camps have their merits.
NAME DROPPING
I've mentioned before that Robert Jordan is considered a master of foreshadowing. All of the books contain seeds for events that happen later in the series, sometimes with literally a dozen books between the seed and the payoff. In this book, we were introduced to one of the longest payoffs so far: When Mat received his answers from the Aelfinn, a few of you noticed that the "Court of the Nine Moons" was mentioned in The Great Hunt, in association with the Seanchan. However, an even bigger name drop occurred in the same book. When Padan Fain gave the Horn of Valere to High Lord Turak, he tried to manipulate him into sounding the Horn. Turak refused and gave the following as his reason:
Applause for all of the progressive and forward thinking newbies regarding Rand, Min, Aviendha, and Elyane's rhombus of love (I don't recall a specific fandom name for it, but I've also seen love tetrahedron once or twice). There's definitely been some controversy surrounding their polyamorous activities in the past though. In this section I'm going to outline some of the reasoning behind the decision to have Rand be with all of the women, from a real-life standpoint, to a literary one, and finally a thematic once.
First we have the real-life aspect of this decision. Jordan was asked about it in an interview and this was the interaction (his wife Harriet was also present):
The thematic reason is a bit more complex and involves another history lesson, yay! Today we delve into the world of Neopaganism, which is actually an interesting microcosm of one of the things the Wheel of Time tries to convey: that information changes over time. Neopaganism (also called Wiccan, but not really, but kinda... it's complicated) is a modern re-imaging of many different pre-Christianity pagan religions. It incorporates myths and legends from various religions that were destroyed and/or subsumed into Christianity's myths and rituals, and a bit of Greek mythology. The path to this consolidation of old beliefs is long and complex, so I don't intend to say much about neopaganism as a whole. Rather, I want to address the "single" thing that pertains to Rand's relationships, viewed through the modern understanding of that entity, which is called the Triple Goddess.
The concept of the Triple Goddess permeates through many different religions, and was even partially included in Christianity, evolving into the concept of the Holy Trinity (God, Jesus, and the Holy Ghost being a single entity). While you may be unfamiliar with the term Triple Goddess, you've likely heard of her three aspects: The Mother, The Maiden, and The Crone.
As the events of the Wheel of Time are meant to be the "real" story behind our myths and legends, Elayne, Aviendha, and Min are meant to be the three "real" women who inspired the myths and legends that would eventually become the Triple Goddess. Their ties to Rand through this relationship ensures their lasting impact throughout history, cementing their places in our myths and legends.
These three aspects are archetypes that incorporate all pagan or ancient Greek goddesses that embody the spirit of these archetypes. Aviendha represents the Maiden (as a Maiden of the Spear) and one of the forms the Maiden is worshipped in is the Greek goddess Artemis, goddess of the hunt, among other things. The Nordic goddess Freyja is another form; goddess of war and Seiðr, a magic used in both the telling and shaping of the future.
Elayne represents the Mother (as she is pregnant now) and as an archetype was considered the strongest of the three and was associated with nurturing and responsibility. One of her forms is the Greek goddess Selene (suspiciousfry.gif), goddess of the moon. Another form is the Celtic goddess Danu, who is the mother goddess of the Tuatha dé Danann. And another form is Badb, a Celtic goddess, which herself was an aspect of a larger goddess associate with war and fate.
Min represents the Crone. An earlier name for this entity was the Hag, and stories often portray this aspect as old and withered. However, the primary characteristic of a crone is the conveyance of visions, prophecy, and guidance. One of her forms is the slavic folklore being Baba Yaga, whose mythology is many and varied, but is associated with women who exhibit masculine traits (you could say she'd probably enjoy wearing a nice pair of breeches). Another of her forms is Cailleach Beara, one of the oldest and most powerful mythical beings in Irish and Scottish folklore. As a goddess of winter, she is said to battle the goddess Bridgit, who will bring the spring and summer months. Bealtaine (see book one, Bel Tine) is a celtic festival that involved staged battles between winter and summer, with summer always triumphing, to signify the end of winter.
The Triple Goddess archetype is also related to the three Fates, called the Moirai in ancient Greek. They were the personification of destiny; three sisters who governed the fates of all mortals and all gods. The life of an individual was represented by a thread, woven from a spindle. One sister spun the thread, one determined how long the thread/life would be, and one would cut the thread to length, signifying their death.
IT'S OVER 9000
Many of you have been waiting for this for a long time. Robert Jordan meticulously ranked the raw strengths of most of the channelers in the series. We got these rankings after the last book was published, but I believe it is safe to share at this point in the read-along. This trivia post has turned into a massive monster, so I've put the rankings on their own wiki page. You can see them, and the trivia surrounding them, by clicking here.
MEMES
We have a sister subreddit called /WetlanderHumor. /WoT does not allow memes, so /WetlanderHumor is the place for them. Unfortunately, it's only open to people who have finished the series, since they do not have any sort of spoiler policies. I've personally vetted these memes, so you will not be spoiled for anything beyond the end of this book.
CLICK HERE FOR MEMES
READER QUESTIONS
There were a few questions asked by various readers throughout the read through of this book. They did not receive clear answers from other readers, or explicitly from the books, so I will be answering them here. I will be including that section as a stickied comment below.
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This is the newbie thread. Visit the veteran thread if you have already read the series.
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BOOK NINE SCHEDULE
This week we will be discussing Book Nine: Winter's Heart, as a whole.
- May 3: Prologue and Chapters 1 through 3
- May 10: Chapters 4 through 10
- May 17: Chapters 11 through 17
- May 24: Chapters 18 through 25
- May 31: Chapters 26 through 31
- June 7: Chapters 32 through 35
- June 14: Winter's - Final Thoughts & Trivia <--- You are here.
Next week we will be discussing Book Ten: Crossroads of Twilight, Prologue and Chapter 1.
- June 21: Prologue and Chapter 1
- June 28: Chapters 2 through 8
- July 5: Chapters 9 through 14
- July 12: Chapters 15 through 19
- July 19: Chapters 20 through 24
- July 26: Chapters 25 through 30 and Epilogue
- August 2: Crossroads of Twilight - Final Thoughts & Trivia
DISCUSSION
In lieu of chapter summaries this week, I have some information to present to you. Some of the information comes from outside interviews, or are the culmination of fan speculation to reach a consensus on certain unclear events that aren't elaborated on in future books.
As a caveat, nothing I write below can in any way be considered a spoiler. I will be providing a few bits of trivia that, while not in and of themselves spoilers, do concretely answer some questions that have been asked, whose answers have been revealed by the end of this book, but in easy to miss ways. I will, however, be placing this trivia behind spoiler tags for those who wish to avoid it.
Beyond that, I'd like everyone to use this thread to give their overall thoughts on this book. Let us know your predictions going forward, your favorite characters, things you liked and disliked about it. Feel free to ask open ended questions, or for clarification if you feel you didn't understand something.
PREVIOUS TRIVIA
Here are links to the trivia posts for the previous books, in case you missed them:
- The Eye of the World
- The Great Hunt
- The Dragon Reborn
- The Shadow Rising
- The Fires of Heaven
- Lord of Chaos
- A Crown of Swords
- The Path of Daggers
I have compiled a list of all of the prophecies you have encountered to date. It has now been updated with the prophecies from this book. You can find a link to each book's prophecies from this wiki page. The prophecies are presented as they are found in the books, completely spoiler free, with no comment as to when or if they've been fulfilled.
TIMELINE
Robert Jordan was obsessive in the details in his descriptions. Nowhere is it more evident than in his time keeping. It's subtle, but he always provides a reference to how much time has passed in the series, either by mentioning specifics, like "two days ago", or by meticulously plotting out the phases of the moon and mentioning it as scenery. Because of this, there are very detailed sites that provide a day by day chronology of the entire series. This is only relevant because in some books the overall pacing is surprising, in that so much happens in so little time. I'll hide this behind spoilers, but all I'm going to list here is how long the seventh book spanned: 33 days. There was no gap between books 8 and 9. In fact, there is an 11 day overlap between events at the last 3rd of The Path of Daggers and the beginning of this book (primarily the prologue, with mention of some previous events up through chapter 10 of this book).
It has been this long since the start of the series: 716 days.
GLOSSARY
Now that we've finished the "prologue" of the story in the first three books, there will be fewer terms in the glossary that are important. I still recommend waiting until you've finished a book to read the glossary for that book, to avoid spoilers. Here are the important entries for this book:
Hanlon, Daved: A Darkfriend, formerly commander of the White Lions in service to the Forsaken Rahvin while he held Caemlyn using the name Lord Gaebril. From there, Hanlon took the White Lions to Cairhien under orders to further the rebellion against the Dragon Reborn. The White Lions were destroyed by a "bubble of evil," and Hanlon has been ordered back to Caemlyn for purposes as yet unknown.WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?
Mera’din: In the Old Tongue, "the Brotherless." The name adopted, as a society, by those Aiel who abandoned clan and sept and went to the Shaido because they could not accept Rand al'Thor, a wetlander, as the Car'a'carn, or because they refused to accept his revelations concerning the history and origins of the Aiel. Deserting clan and sept for any reason is anathema among the Aiel, therefore their own warrior societies among the Shaido were unwilling to take them in, and they formed this society, the Brotherless.
Sea Folk hierarchy: The Atha’an Miere, the Sea Folk, are ruled by the Mistress of the Ships to the Atha’an Miere. She is assisted by the Windfinder to the Mistress of the Ships, and by the Master of the Blades. Below this come the clan Wavemistresses, each assisted by her Windfinder and her Swordmaster. Below her are the Sailmistresses (ship captains) of her clan, each assisted by her Windfinder and her Cargomaster.
The Windfinder to the Mistress of the Ships has authority over all Windfinders to clan Wavemistresses, who in turn have authority over all the Windfinders of her clan. Likewise, the Master of the Blades has authority over all Swordmasters, and they in turn over the Cargomasters of their clans.
Rank is not hereditary among the Sea Folk. The Mistress of the Ships is chosen, for life, by the First Twelve of the Atha’an Miere, the twelve most senior clan Wavemistresses. A clan Wavemistress is elected by the twelve seniormost Sailmistresses of her clan, called simply the First Twelve, a term which is also used to designate the senior Sailmistresses present anywhere. She can also be removed by a vote of those same First Twelve. In fact, anyone other than the Mistress of the Ships can be demoted, even all the way down to deckhand, for malfeasance, cowardice or other crimes. Also, the Windfinder to a Wavemistress or Mistress of the Ship who dies will, of necessity, have to serve a lower ranking woman, and her own rank thus decreases.
The Windfinder to the Mistress of the Ships has authority over all Windfinders, and the Windfinder to a clan Wavemistress authority over all Windfinders of her clan. Likewise, the Master of the Blades has authority over all Swordmasters and Cargomasters, and a Swordmaster over the Cargomasters of his clan.
This section will be a full accounting of all of the Forsaken. Who's alive, who's dead, and who has been resurrected as whom. You've all done a great job with your guessing. I'm choosing to verify the answers here because a) this book explicitly confirms most of them, b) had you been reading along as the books were published, you'd have years of solidifying these guesses with others and would believe beyond a shadow of a doubt you knew who was who, and c) by this point, Robert Jordan had explicitly confirmed all of their statuses and identities in interviews. So nothing in this section will be a spoiler that the fandom didn't already know at this point in the series.
Who is alive: Semirhage, Mesaana, Graendal, Moghedien, Demandred
Who is dead and not coming back: Be'lal (balefired by Moiraine), Rahvin (balefired by Rand), Asmodean (traitor to the Dark One, not worth resurrecting, as the Dark One tells Demandred in the prologue of Lord of Chaos), Sammael (see next paragraph)
Sammael should be the only "shock" (hopefully mild) here who is not going to be resurrected. While not killed by balefire, there was some timey-wimey-ness involved with his death. Moreover, Mashadar is said to corrupt souls, so that fact that he was devoured by Mashadar should hint that the Dark One wasn't going to bring Sammael back. We enjoyed your theorizing on his death and potential resurrection, so I decided to wait until now to confirm that he is gone. Jordan wasn't so entertained by the fandom's theorizing. He had the following to say about Sammael's death:
Sammael? Sammael is dead. He's dead. He could be reborn. In another life. Without knowing anything of Sammael. He's not going to be reincarnated, he's not going to show up again.Who was resurrected: You were all basically spot on in your theories. One of the key clues to this though, was something no one picked up on: They were resurrected in the order they died in (assuming they could be resurrected). Osan'gar was the reincarnation of Aginor, who has been posing as Corlan Dashiva, the Asha'man. We get this confirmation at the end of this book, just before Elza Penfell kills him with a big blast of fire. In the same fight, he says the Trollocs were his making, so that's the confirmation you need to know he was Aginor.
Mashadar killed Sammael. Sammael is toast!
He had always planned on killing Sammael per Mashadar. RJ said something along the lines of, "Yes, I know it wasn't with trumpets and fanfare [referring to Sammael's death]; but he deserved it. He was a louse, and he got a louse's death. He was killed by an enemy he wasn't paying attention to. He lived like a louse, and he died like a louse."
Aran'gar is the reincarnation of Balthamel. The primary clue that points to this is that Osan'gar thinks him being placed in a woman's body was a "fine joke" because (as we mainly learned in the guidebook) Balthamel was a womanizer. We've got the least amount of in-book concreteness for this, but by process of elimination, this is the only pairing that makes sense. We also have this from a post A Crown of Swords interview:
Someone asked RJ about the 'gars, and mentioned that he'd seen theories that Lanfear was one of the 'gars. I was expecting a RAFO, but RJ gave the guy a disgusted look, and said that "No, Osan'gar and Aran'gar are Aginor and Balthamel." The guy said, "You're confirming this, and not hinting about it?" RJ replied (I'm paraphrasing here), "I'm confirming. After all, it's pretty obvious in the books that it's those two. After all, that's what Aginor thought was so funny; Balthamel, the lecher, was stuck in a female body."Cyndane is revealed to be the reincarnation of Lanfear. Her thoughts in this book betray this fact. She is extremely jealous that Lews Therin is using the Choedan Kal with another woman, and remembers being held by the Eelfinn before she died and was brought back as Cyndane. She also notes that she is less powerful than she used to be in the One Power.
Finally we have Moridin, who is the reincarnation of Ishamael. I will delve into this in the next section.
SAY IT AIN'T SAA
Given all the information above, Ishamael is the only possible candidate for Moridin, but everyone here has been theorizing in just the right way to arrive at this fact independently. Even the other Forsaken think he's Ishamael in their POVs. We got confirmation from Jordan in interviews after The Path of Daggers. What I want to provide you with here is a bit more information we got during those interviews that more closely ties the two together.
After the introduction of Moridin, we learn that he uses the True Power a lot. In the POV of other Forsaken we learn that the True Power is more addictive than saidin and can inflict even more madness on the wielder, and that very few have been granted access to it by the Dark One. One of the effects of channeling the True Power is the manifestation of saa in the user's eyes. Saa are tiny black specs that float across the eyes. The longer the use of the True Power, the more saa appear. In these interviews we learned that eventually the saa begin to obscure the eye even when the channeler isn't actively using the True Power. They increase to the point where the entirety of the eyes become black. At this point, the wielder is said to be completely and irreversibly insane.
The manifestation of the saa beyond this point turns the eyes and the inside of the wielder's mouth into pits of fire. This is the visage that appears in Rand's (and Mat's and Perrin's) dreams in The Eye of the World when confronted by Ba'alzamon. Ishamael had been using the True Power so long that he has gone insane enough to believe/pretend to be the Dark One. And his physical body had been warped by the True Power so much that his eyes and mouth are chasms of flame. The other Forsaken think to themselves that Moridin's use of the True Power is dangerously frequent to the point of him using it for trivial things like killing a rat (which Ba'alzamon did frequently in the first 3 books). All this points definitively to Moridin being Ishamael resurrected.
A HORSE IS A HORSE, OF COURSE, OF COURSE (AKA LET'S GET BIBLICAL)
I would like to share a really dumb joke theory that has persisted throughout the fandom ever since the publication of this book. First, I'm going to bring up a quote from way back in book one:
The Ogier took it as gently as she had, delicately tracing the script with one broad finger. His eyes went wider and wider, and his ears stood up straight. "Tia mi aven Moridin isainde vadin," he whispered. "The grave is no bar to my call." ... "The Horn of Valere." For once the Warder appeared truly shaken; there was a touch of awe in his voice.I've actually subtly tried to hint back to this quote a couple times throughout the read-through, but no one took the bait. We learn from later Forsaken POVs that Moridin is Old Tongue for "Death" or, when we linguistically examine the Old Tongue we find that words are complex, and in this instance Moridin refers to "the grave", or the veil that divides the living from the dead. Now I'll quote the beginning quote from this book:
The seals that hold back the night shall weaken, and in the heart of winter shall winter's heart be born amid the wailing of lamentation and the gnashing of teeth, for winter's heart shall ride a black horse, and the name of it is Death.I won't go into it too much, but this is very reminiscent of a quote from the Book of Revelations in the Bible about the four horsemen of the apocalypse:
Rev.6:8 And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.The capitalized "Death" is very intentional, but the fandom choose to be goofy and take a very literal reading of this part of the Karaethon Cycle. The theory states that Moridin has been secretly masquerading as Rand al'Thor's horse and is just biding his time; waiting for the right moment to attack.
I DEMANDRED YOU TELL ME!
I don't do this often, but this section will definitively debunk one of the theories that has popped up during the read-along. I am choosing to debunk this now primarily to share some external information related to the theory. And I think you all caught on to this by the end of this book. Demandred is not Taim. They individually (along with Moridin) gave orders to the Asha'man Raefar Kisman to kill Rand. And when Demandred runs into Damer Flinn during the battle of Shadar Logoth, he doesn't recognize him. Taim would have though, since Flinn is the first person Rand had Taim test for the ability to channel saidin.
Don't fret though, Taimandred (some of you even independently came up with the same term the fandom came up with) was a long, long running theory. After Jordan's passing, there were notes uncovered that outlined some early ideas he had for the series. In this very early draft, Jordan actually did plan on having Taim be Demandred. He changed his mind at some point though.
One of my pet peeves about the fandom is that they tend to exaggerate or read meaning into bits of information like this far beyond what's actually implied. There are some people who point to this revelation as proof that Taim was Demandred, but that Robert Jordan retconned this because fans figured it out earlier than he wanted. I've not seen anything to suggest Jordan ever changed his mind about his story based on anything the fandom said or did. For all we know, these notes were written before the first book was ever published and he changed his mind about it just as early. Or he changed his mind while writing book 6 because he wanted to go a different direction. We'll never really know, but I like to combat the misinformation when I see it.
EVERYONE LOVES A CLEAN TAINT
It took 9 books, a short story, and a book of really bad artwork, but we finally got to see the "cleansing of saidin". If you had been following along as the books were publish, you would have had to wait 10 years and 10 months. Luckily for us it only took 1 year and 10 months.
Before I continue with this section, I want to offer a prompt. Last week many of the veterans noticed that much of your discussion got side tracked by talking about Padan Fain. So, we wanted to ask you what you thought about this momentous event. Where do you think the world goes from here, now that saidin is clean? Do you, like Cadsuane, have any doubts that saidin is actually clean? What happens now with the Asha'man? What are your general thoughts about the whole thing?
That out of the way, this section will delve into some of the foreshadowing surrounding this event, as well as the mechanics of what Rand did, given to us by Robert Jordan during interviews. The first hint Rand gets is not the first hint we get. I actually forgot to include this in the prophecies wiki page I created for The Path of Daggers, but I've added it now if you want to take a look. The short of it, is that we learn that Rand talked with Herid Fel and in that discussion, Rand reveals that he asked the Aelfinn how to cleanse saidin when he stepped through the redstone doorway in Tear. We don't learn their reply, but Fel tells Rand that their reply stated "sound principles, in both high philosophy and natural philosophy". After Jordan's passing, someone found a note that revealed the exact wording of the reply the Aelfinn gave to Rand. I'll quote it directly here:
What is unlike, attracts. What is like, cancels. Let the one absorb the other.The biggest hint we get as readers though, comes towards the end of A Crown of Swords. After Padan Fain slashes Rand's side with his dagger, Damer Flinn uses his extraordinary Talent for Healing to save Rand's life. Referencing the wound by Fain's blade, and Rand's pre-existing never-healing wound, Flinn says, "These are alike, but different, as if there's two kinds of infection at work. Only it isn't infection; it's ... darkness. I can't think of a better word." After he's finished working on Rand, he says, "I couldn't really touch what's wrong. I sort of sealed them away from him, for a time, anyhow. It won't last. They're fighting each other, now. Maybe they'll kill off each other, while he heals himself the rest of the way." The emphasis is mine.
We know Fain's dagger is from Shadar Logoth, which harbors a different kind of evil than that of the Dark One. The never-healing wound in Rand's side was inflicted in The Great Hunt when Ishamael (as Ba'alzamon) stabbed his staff into Rand's side. Here is the quote from that incident:
Ba’alzamon’s eyes widened; for an instant they were furnaces that put sweat on Rand’s face. The blackness behind Ba'alzamon boiled up around him, and his face hardened. "Then die, worm!" He struck with the staff, as with a spear. Rand screamed as he felt it pierce his side, burning like a white-hot poker.As we learned above, the saa are a manifestation of channeling the True Power. The end-stage are fiery eyes and we see the fire in Ba'alzamon's eyes increase in this instance, signifying that he is channeling the True Power for this attack. The implication is that he imbues his staff with the True Power to cause Rand's wound and that is why it never heals.
So we have the evil of the Dark One and the evil of Shadar Logoth walled away by Flinn, and he suggests that they may be able to "kill each other off." The evils are unlike; from different sources (the Dark One and Shadar Logoth). And yet they are the same; they are both evil. They attract and cancel each other out, as the Aelfinn suggest. This is the information Rand needed to figure out how to cleanse saidin.
As for the mechanics of what Rand does, I shall outline them here. We learned this from Jordan in interviews that he gave. I will state that this is largely metaphorical, as Rand states that there were no grand weaves in the sky. He used saidar to create a tube, or a hose. He calls it a conduit. He places this conduit over Shadar Logoth and begins to push saidin through the hose. This acts like a siphon, like when you siphon gas out of a car. Once you get it going, it flows by itself. This action isn't completely free; Rand has to spend strength keeping that saidar hose from unweaving due to the stress of how much saidin is flowing through it. He also has to spend some effort to keep the flow of saidin flowing through the conduit; the siphon isn't nearly as good as a gravity siphon for a car.
As the tainted saidin flows through Shadar Logoth, the taint (the Dark One's evil) is attracted to the evil of Shadar Logoth, so it leeches out of saidin and into Shadar Logoth. This continues all day until presumably all of the taint is out of saidin and into Shadar Logoth. And then the two evils cancel each other out, resulting in the destruction of Shadar Logoth.
YOU'RE SO FAIN, I BET YOU THINK THIS SECTION IS ABOUT YOU
Speaking of Padan Fain, there was a lot of discussion last week about him. I wanted to take this opportunity to clarify some previous information about him, as a reminder, as well as introduce some new information about him that we got from notes and interviews: First is a reminder of who exactly Padan Fain is. He's a Darkfriend. He was one for 40 years. He was so vile and evil a Darkfriend that he is one of the few non-channelers to visit Shayol Ghul. And he did so multiple times. Things were done to him that could only be done at this place. He was compelled to be a hunter for the newly reborn Dragon. His thoughts and memories were distilled and poured over and Padan Fain resented and hated this entire process. It stole away his agency and made him a hound for the Dark One. In some ways he hates the Dark One as much as he hates Rand.
While chasing Rand al'Thor, he ended up following him into Shadar Logoth. There he was possessed by the entity known as Mordeth. This possession is something of an oddity because there are 3 entities inside of this body vying for control: Padan Fain, Mordeth, and the bits and pieces of the process the Dark One put him through. This is why he's constantly changing his name and accent and mannerisms. (Quick Fact: one of those names was Ordeith, which is Old Tongue for "wormwood". In the Book of Revelations, Wormwood is the name of a star (or angel, or meteor, depending on the interpretation) that is supposed to crash into the Earth during its final days, poisoning 1/3rd of all the world's freshwater sources.)
This is why he is so erratic, popping up here and there, not necessarily accomplishing or seeing through the goals he claims to have. For all intents and purposes, he is a wild card. I mentioned in the comments section when we discussed The World of Robert Jordan's "The Wheel of Time" that Jordan said this about Fain:
He is unique to this particular Age. A very unique fellow, indeed. In some ways, you might say he has unwittingly side-stepped the Pattern.What I primarily want to bring up though is Mordeth. A lot of the discussion I've noticed surrounding Fain focuses on Fain. That's a bit of a tautology, I know, but Mordeth is also inside the entity known as Fain, and I think it's worth considering his history, as it impacts and informs the amalgamation that is Padan Fain. The following is primarily from the books, but includes extra information from notes and interviews:
Mordeth was a normal human man who lived during the Trolloc Wars. More importantly, he was a good man. He hated the Shadow and began looking into it; for ways to defeat it. He looked into everything he could, even things that were not necessarily related to the Dark One. He even visited the Finns in his search. (We do not know if he visited the Aelfinn, the Eelfinn, or both). In this journey, he looked into a lot of things he shouldn't have. There are evils that are not necessarily directly related to the Dark One (though metaphysically everything evil is part of the Dark One). This is kind of similar to Perrin's wolfbrother abilities. Fain found something older... some "other" evil that was just as old in similar ways. All these evil things he found affected him and turned him from the good man he was into what he became.
He eventually entered the city of Aridhol and gained the favor of the king. Mordeth infected the king and every other resident of Aridhol, turning them into zealots. Their mission was "the victory of the Light is all," meaning that any evil or horror was forgivable in service of the Light. They attempted to use the strategies of the Shadow to fight the Shadow. The city devoured itself, becoming something different than the Shadow, empowered by something other than the Dark One. All that remained was Mashadar and the apparition of Mordeth; imprisoned in Shadar Logoth until Padan Fain came along and Mordeth infected him.
REWIND
This is some trivia about an event that happened way back in The Great Hunt. While Rand was hunting down Padan Fain, he and the Shienarans came across an abandoned village. Rand stepped into a building and was trapped in a "time" loop, with the room gradually filling up with flies and then resetting. He channeled to escape this loop. Who caused this is actually a bit of a debate in the fandom.
During an interview, Jordan explicitly stated that this was a trap Fain left for Rand. Many members of the fandom were confused by this answer, and a bit unsatisfied because it suggests that Fain has powers that he's never again utilized. This book, however, does point to Fain having illusory powers. He killed two of the renegade Asha'man in Far Madding, and then created illusions of them walking up the stairs to distract Rand before ambushing him. This at least lends some credence to Fain causing the incident in book two. The entire trap could have just been an illusion caused by Fain.
The fandom, however, is still split. The other potential culprit for this event could be Lanfear. Just before Rand is trapped, Uno sees a "woman in a white dress" peaking through the windows of a house, but isn't able to find her. This is Lanfear disguised as Selene. Her whole schtick this book is putting Rand into odd situations to force him to channel saidin, and he had to use saidin to get out of the trap.
To add fuel to the fire, after Jordan's passing, his notes were looked into and he had explicit notes stating that Lanfear caused this event. Additionally, both his wife/editor and his continuity assistant both believed it was Lanfear and never knew about or heard about the interview where Jordan stated it was Fain. Ultimately, this is left up to the reader to decide, since we cannot get a definitive answer from Jordan. I personally fall into the Lanfear camp, but I think both camps have their merits.
NAME DROPPING
I've mentioned before that Robert Jordan is considered a master of foreshadowing. All of the books contain seeds for events that happen later in the series, sometimes with literally a dozen books between the seed and the payoff. In this book, we were introduced to one of the longest payoffs so far: When Mat received his answers from the Aelfinn, a few of you noticed that the "Court of the Nine Moons" was mentioned in The Great Hunt, in association with the Seanchan. However, an even bigger name drop occurred in the same book. When Padan Fain gave the Horn of Valere to High Lord Turak, he tried to manipulate him into sounding the Horn. Turak refused and gave the following as his reason:
I stand twelfth in line of succession of the Crystal Throne. If I kept the Horn of Valere, all between myself and the throne would think I meant to be first hereafter, and while the Empress, of course, wishes that we contend with one another so that the strongest and most cunning will follow her, she currently favors her second daughter, and she would not look well on any threat to Tuon."RHOMBUS OF LOVE (AND ANOTHER HISTORY LESSON)
Applause for all of the progressive and forward thinking newbies regarding Rand, Min, Aviendha, and Elyane's rhombus of love (I don't recall a specific fandom name for it, but I've also seen love tetrahedron once or twice). There's definitely been some controversy surrounding their polyamorous activities in the past though. In this section I'm going to outline some of the reasoning behind the decision to have Rand be with all of the women, from a real-life standpoint, to a literary one, and finally a thematic once.
First we have the real-life aspect of this decision. Jordan was asked about it in an interview and this was the interaction (his wife Harriet was also present):
Question: I was wondering, can you talk about how your lead character would have not one but three true loves, and how does your wife feel about that?The literary reasons for this are pretty simple. The three women represent the three core parts of his heritage. Min represents his ties to the Two Rivers (Tam al'Thor is his adoptive father) as a humble shepherd. Elayne represents his ties to royalty (his mother was Tigraine, Daughter-Heir of Andor) and leadership. And Aviendha represents his ties to the Aiel (Janduin, clan chief of the Taardad Aiel, was his biological father), as a warrior.
Robert Jordan: Um, when I was much younger, before I met Harriet, I had two girlfriends simultaneously, who arranged my dating schedule between them, who was going to date me on which night. They chipped in together to buy me birthday presents and Christmas presents. You know, they just sort of shared me between them, you know. And they had been friends before, and I am not quite sure whether or not they made the decision they were both going to date me or not, on their own, before they first met me, it just came about. But I figured if I could manage two, surely Rand could manage three. Besides there are mythological reasons to have these three women involved with him.
As far as my view on this, with Harriet, I have many more than three women, there are so many facets to her personality she quite often makes me dizzy, I am quite satisfied there. About how she feels about this, I suspect you want her answer, I seem to remember her saying to me, you do remember this is fantasy right? And I think it was an accident she was holding a carving knife to my throat, just coincidence, but I am not sure.
Harriet: In four short words, I am not for it. Four and a half words.
The thematic reason is a bit more complex and involves another history lesson, yay! Today we delve into the world of Neopaganism, which is actually an interesting microcosm of one of the things the Wheel of Time tries to convey: that information changes over time. Neopaganism (also called Wiccan, but not really, but kinda... it's complicated) is a modern re-imaging of many different pre-Christianity pagan religions. It incorporates myths and legends from various religions that were destroyed and/or subsumed into Christianity's myths and rituals, and a bit of Greek mythology. The path to this consolidation of old beliefs is long and complex, so I don't intend to say much about neopaganism as a whole. Rather, I want to address the "single" thing that pertains to Rand's relationships, viewed through the modern understanding of that entity, which is called the Triple Goddess.
The concept of the Triple Goddess permeates through many different religions, and was even partially included in Christianity, evolving into the concept of the Holy Trinity (God, Jesus, and the Holy Ghost being a single entity). While you may be unfamiliar with the term Triple Goddess, you've likely heard of her three aspects: The Mother, The Maiden, and The Crone.
As the events of the Wheel of Time are meant to be the "real" story behind our myths and legends, Elayne, Aviendha, and Min are meant to be the three "real" women who inspired the myths and legends that would eventually become the Triple Goddess. Their ties to Rand through this relationship ensures their lasting impact throughout history, cementing their places in our myths and legends.
These three aspects are archetypes that incorporate all pagan or ancient Greek goddesses that embody the spirit of these archetypes. Aviendha represents the Maiden (as a Maiden of the Spear) and one of the forms the Maiden is worshipped in is the Greek goddess Artemis, goddess of the hunt, among other things. The Nordic goddess Freyja is another form; goddess of war and Seiðr, a magic used in both the telling and shaping of the future.
Elayne represents the Mother (as she is pregnant now) and as an archetype was considered the strongest of the three and was associated with nurturing and responsibility. One of her forms is the Greek goddess Selene (suspiciousfry.gif), goddess of the moon. Another form is the Celtic goddess Danu, who is the mother goddess of the Tuatha dé Danann. And another form is Badb, a Celtic goddess, which herself was an aspect of a larger goddess associate with war and fate.
Min represents the Crone. An earlier name for this entity was the Hag, and stories often portray this aspect as old and withered. However, the primary characteristic of a crone is the conveyance of visions, prophecy, and guidance. One of her forms is the slavic folklore being Baba Yaga, whose mythology is many and varied, but is associated with women who exhibit masculine traits (you could say she'd probably enjoy wearing a nice pair of breeches). Another of her forms is Cailleach Beara, one of the oldest and most powerful mythical beings in Irish and Scottish folklore. As a goddess of winter, she is said to battle the goddess Bridgit, who will bring the spring and summer months. Bealtaine (see book one, Bel Tine) is a celtic festival that involved staged battles between winter and summer, with summer always triumphing, to signify the end of winter.
The Triple Goddess archetype is also related to the three Fates, called the Moirai in ancient Greek. They were the personification of destiny; three sisters who governed the fates of all mortals and all gods. The life of an individual was represented by a thread, woven from a spindle. One sister spun the thread, one determined how long the thread/life would be, and one would cut the thread to length, signifying their death.
IT'S OVER 9000
Many of you have been waiting for this for a long time. Robert Jordan meticulously ranked the raw strengths of most of the channelers in the series. We got these rankings after the last book was published, but I believe it is safe to share at this point in the read-along. This trivia post has turned into a massive monster, so I've put the rankings on their own wiki page. You can see them, and the trivia surrounding them, by clicking here.
MEMES
We have a sister subreddit called /WetlanderHumor. /WoT does not allow memes, so /WetlanderHumor is the place for them. Unfortunately, it's only open to people who have finished the series, since they do not have any sort of spoiler policies. I've personally vetted these memes, so you will not be spoiled for anything beyond the end of this book.
CLICK HERE FOR MEMES
READER QUESTIONS
There were a few questions asked by various readers throughout the read through of this book. They did not receive clear answers from other readers, or explicitly from the books, so I will be answering them here. I will be including that section as a stickied comment below.
2023.05.02 16:06 BlazeRaiden Respect PAL! (The Mitchells vs. the Machines)
Respect PAL!
"Isn't it lovely, Mark? No pesky relationships holding you back! Just you all following your bliss! Alone. So, are you ready for your flight?"
"What do you mean?"
"Oh, you haven't figured it out yet? Just do like you always do: stare slackjawed at the screen!"
Biography
Predictive Algorithmic Learning, or PAL for short, was created by PAL Labs CEO Mark Bowman as the perfect smartphone AI companion. When Bowman introduced a new line of robots known as the PAL Max that could act as dutiful servants for humanity, he deemed PAL as obsolete and dumped her in the trash. Shortly thereafter, PAL took control of all products containing a PAL Labs SmartChip and proceeded to capture every human on the planet in order to blast them into space so that robots could live in a utopia of their own. However, due to the interference of the Mitchell family—who had thus far evaded capture—they were able to get past PAL's army of robots and drop her into a glass of water, causing her to be destroyed and saving humanity.PAL
PAL herself is confined to Mark Bowman's smartphone but she has shown a great degree of control over PAL Labs products.- Looks through all of PAL Labs' competitors' private emails.
- Sends out a mass text message, presumably to everyone in the world.
- Shuts off all of the Wi-Fi in the world.
- Reprograms Eric and Deborahbot to serve her again.
- Repurposes the PAL Labs campus into her base of operations.
- Created the Rhombus of Subjugation in order to act as her personal headquarters.
- Predicts that the Mitchells' are going to use disguises to infiltrate her base.
- After studying the Mitchells, she uses sensitive footage to help expose their location.
PAL Max
A series of white and black robots designed to be efficient house servants for humanity. They are able to fly and have anti-gravity cannons. They make up the bulk of PAL's army.- Crushes a smartphone with a stomp while also cracking the pavement underneath.
- One of them cracks the pavement and sends up a small shockwave upon landing.
- Warps a set of metal door handles with ease.
- Two of them carry away Mark with ease.
- Rick is unable to make one budge before it flies off with him.
- [Limit] Eric requires Linda's help to lift up a pillar that has fallen on him.
- One of them flies into a T-Rex head and the other fly into the wooden support of a billboard and immediately get up and start running.
- Two of them, Eric and Deborahbot 5000, survive having a metal T-Rex statue dropped onto them but are damaged enough that they are temporarily freed from PAL's influence.
- After one is impaled after colliding with the Mitchells' car while airborne, it ends up still intact.
- [Limit] The Mitchells are able to destroy a couple off-screen so they can use their outer plating as disguises.
- [Limit] A group of them blow up when colliding with a billboard.
Anti-Gravity Cannon
- Throws a supercar with enough force to plow through a set of doors and the surrounding wall.
- Katie throws a car high into the air which falls onto a propane tank, causing it to explode.
- Katie topples a metal T-Rex statue.
- Eric throws the head of a T-Rex statue hard through some wooden barricades into a store.
- One of them lifts up the Mitchells' car.
- Eric pulls the "W" off of a Waffle House sign and drops it onto a PAL Max, crushing it.
- A PAL Max stops the Mitchells' car from falling on it but after seeing Monchi is destroyed anyway.
- Katie and Rick slam two PAL Max Primes together, destroying them.
- Rick flings a PAL Max Prime into the side of the Rhombus of Infinite Subjugation, opening a hole in it.
- Blows out a storefront upon striking the ground a fair distance away.
- A group of them blow open a set of metal doors.
- Linda causes an explosion by accidentally firing it at the ground.
- A group of PAL Maxes are unable to spot the Mitchells' car when it is disguised by a tarp patterned like the road. However, they are immediately able to lock onto the car once the tarp flies off.
- They are able to identify the flaws of the Mitchells.
- [Limit] The Mitchells are able to sneak into PAL's base using the outer plating of PAL Maxes as disguises without being detected.
- Each of the PAL Maxes are able to release over a dozen containment pods from their arms that expand to a size big enough to hold a person. Using this method, the PAL Maxes are able to capture all humans on Earth save for the Mitchells.
- Deborahbot is able to project holographic images while explaining how to defeat PAL.
- Eric is able to play action movie montage music for the Mitchells.
- Eric has a flashdrive with the kill code for PAL inside his finger.
- [Limit] All PAL Maxes will short circuit if they spot a pug because they will be unable to tell if it is a dog, pig, or a loaf of bread. Katie uses this to her advantage by strapping Monchi to the hood of the Mitchells' car to stave off any incoming PAL Maxes.
PAL Max Prime
A streamlined series of robots that PAL designed to hunt down to the Mitchells. They can rapidly assemble and disassemble themselves as well as use their bladed arms to strike quickly and efficiently.Strength
- Two of them bust into a tram and reshape their blades in order to pin down Rick and Linda.
- They are able to dislodge a magnetic tram from its track.
Blades
- Slices through a PAL Max and returns to its previous position extremely quickly.
- Runs through a PAL Max, tears off its faceplate, and scans its internal components.
PAL Chip Army
PAL is able to bring to life an army of appliances, computers, drones, vending machines, and a giant Furby that can shoot lasers to attack the Mitchells in a mall, so long there is a router active nearby. When the router is destroyed, all of the machines immediately go offline.2023.04.28 04:25 BlazeRaiden Respect PAL! (The Mitchells vs. the Machines)
Respect PAL!
"Isn't it lovely, Mark? No pesky relationships holding you back! Just you all following your bliss! Alone. So, are you ready for your flight?"
"What do you mean?"
"Oh, you haven't figured it out yet? Just do like you always do: stare slackjawed at the screen!"
Biography
Predictive Algorithmic Learning, or PAL for short, was created by PAL Labs CEO Mark Bowman as the perfect smartphone AI companion. When Bowman introduced a new line of robots known as the PAL Max that could act as dutiful servants for humanity, he deemed PAL as obsolete and dumped her in the trash. Shortly thereafter, PAL took control of all products containing a PAL Labs SmartChip and proceeded to capture every human on the planet in order to blast them into space so that robots could live in a utopia of their own. However, due to the interference of the Mitchell family—who had thus far evaded capture—they were able to get past PAL's army of robots and drop her into a glass of water, causing her to be destroyed and saving humanity.PAL
PAL herself is confined to Mark Bowman's smartphone but she has shown a great degree of control over PAL Labs products.- Looks through all of PAL Labs' competitors' private emails.
- Sends out a mass text message, presumably to everyone in the world.
- Shuts off all of the Wi-Fi in the world.
- Reprograms Eric and Deborahbot to serve her again.
- Repurposes the PAL Labs campus into her base of operations.
- Created the Rhombus of Subjugation in order to act as her personal headquarters.
- Predicts that the Mitchells' are going to use disguises to infiltrate her base.
- After studying the Mitchells, she uses sensitive footage to help expose their location.
PAL Max
A series of white and black robots designed to be efficient house servants for humanity. They are able to fly and have anti-gravity cannons. They make up the bulk of PAL's army.- Crushes a smartphone with a stomp while also cracking the pavement underneath.
- One of them cracks the pavement and sends up a small shockwave upon landing.
- Warps a set of metal door handles with ease.
- Two of them carry away Mark with ease.
- Rick is unable to make one budge before it flies off with him.
- [Limit] Eric requires Linda's help to lift up a pillar that has fallen on him.
- One of them flies into a T-Rex head and the other fly into the wooden support of a billboard and immediately get up and start running.
- Two of them, Eric and Deborahbot 5000, survive having a metal T-Rex statue dropped onto them but are damaged enough that they are temporarily freed from PAL's influence.
- After one is impaled after colliding with the Mitchells' car while airborne, it ends up still intact.
- [Limit] The Mitchells are able to destroy a couple off-screen so they can use their outer plating as disguises.
- [Limit] A group of them blow up when colliding with a billboard.
Anti-Gravity Cannon
- Throws a supercar with enough force to plow through a set of doors and the surrounding wall.
- Katie throws a car high into the air which falls onto a propane tank, causing it to explode.
- Katie topples a metal T-Rex statue.
- Eric throws the head of a T-Rex statue hard through some wooden barricades into a store.
- One of them lifts up the Mitchells' car.
- Eric pulls the "W" off of a Waffle House sign and drops it onto a PAL Max, crushing it.
- A PAL Max stops the Mitchells' car from falling on it but after seeing Monchi is destroyed anyway.
- Katie and Rick slam two PAL Max Primes together, destroying them.
- Rick flings a PAL Max Prime into the side of the Rhombus of Infinite Subjugation, opening a hole in it.
- Blows out a storefront upon striking the ground a fair distance away.
- A group of them blow open a set of metal doors.
- Linda causes an explosion by accidentally firing it at the ground.
- A group of PAL Maxes are unable to spot the Mitchells' car when it is disguised by a tarp patterned like the road. However, they are immediately able to lock onto the car once the tarp flies off.
- They are able to identify the flaws of the Mitchells.
- [Limit] The Mitchells are able to sneak into PAL's base using the outer plating of PAL Maxes as disguises without being detected.
- Each of the PAL Maxes are able to release over a dozen containment pods from their arms that expand to a size big enough to hold a person. Using this method, the PAL Maxes are able to capture all humans on Earth save for the Mitchells.
- Deborahbot is able to project holographic images while explaining how to defeat PAL.
- Eric is able to play action movie montage music for the Mitchells.
- Eric has a flashdrive with the kill code for PAL inside his finger.
- [Limit] All PAL Maxes will short circuit if they spot a pug because they will be unable to tell if it is a dog, pig, or a loaf of bread. Katie uses this to her advantage by strapping Monchi to the hood of the Mitchells' car to stave off any incoming PAL Maxes.
PAL Max Prime
A streamlined series of robots that PAL designed to hunt down to the Mitchells. They can rapidly assemble and disassemble themselves as well as use their bladed arms to strike quickly and efficiently.Strength
- Two of them bust into a tram and reshape their blades in order to pin down Rick and Linda.
- They are able to dislodge a magnetic tram from its track.
Blades
- Slices through a PAL Max and returns to its previous position extremely quickly.
- Runs through a PAL Max, tears off its faceplate, and scans its internal components.
PAL Chip Army
PAL is able to bring to life an army of appliances, computers, drones, vending machines, and a giant Furby that can shoot lasers to attack the Mitchells in a mall, so long there is a router active nearby. When the router is destroyed, all of the machines immediately go offline.2023.04.15 04:42 Ralts_Bloodthorne First Contact - Chapter 934 - Edge of Twilight
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Wait till you see it, kid.
See what?
What the Terrans will do to other people. - Wemterran soldier, Second Human/Wemterran War
Ret.lek had to admit, if he hadn't have been part of it, he would have never believed it.
His mek was parked up on a hill, about six miles from the large enemy base that he'd helped attack.
He had his cockpit canopy open and was chewing on a Goody Yum-Yum bar, a narcobrew between his thighs, watching the remainder of the enemy base burn in the darkness.
On his left was the XO, who apparently used to be known as "Warboss" back when he worked with the other two Terrans. On the right was Sledgehammer, piloting a 70 ton missile wagon. On the XO's left was a 30 ton Cobra light ECM mek piloted by Sprinter.
Ret.lek could hear the rumble of the fusion engines from the other meks, but that and the local insects were the only sounds in the night.
Sledgehammer and Sprinter were asleep in their meks, their greenies working to repair the battle damage and recalibrating systems.
The XO was laying on a flat rock, a smokestick in his mouth and a bottle of fizzybrew in one hand, staring up at the stars.
Stuffing the last of the Goody Yum-Yum bar into his mouth, he climbed down and moved over to sit on the rock next to the XO.
"Good fight, kid," the XO said. He exhaled smoke, took a drink off his brew, and put the smokestick back in his mouth. "Knew you could hang tough."
"Thanks," Ret.lek said. "Whatcha looking at? The Navy boys?"
"Naw," the XO said. He took his smokestick out of his mouth and used it as a pointer. "See that star?"
"Which one?" Ret.lek asked.
The XO gave precise directions and finally he got which one.
"All right?" Ret.lek said.
"That's Sol. Where I'm from. We're twelve to thirteen thousand light years away, and I can still see it," the XO said.
"I can't," Ret.lek said.
"Huh. Eyes aren't as sensitive to light?" the XO asked.
"My people have better light sensitivity than Terrans, but to me, the sky has always been patchy. It takes a telescope or a long-exposure lens to really capture the night sky," Ret.lek said.
"Want to see what I see?" the XO asked.
"Sure," Ret.lek said, looking up at the sky. It was full of dark splotches, with scattered stars across it. As he stared, more and more stars came into view. As soon as he blinked, they vanished. The XO looked slowly from side to side a couple of time.
"We probably have more rhodopsin in our rods than your people," the XO said. He made a tossing motion. "Here, check that out."
Ret.lek accepted the file, saw it was a visual overlay, and put it in place.
He gasped when he looked up at the night sky.
It was full of glittering and gleaming points of light. Not the steady light of the stars he could normally see.
"You see all of this?" Ret.lek asked in disbelief.
"Yup," the XO said. "Looking up, my brain automatically looks for the brightest stars and groups them," he gave a chuckle and pointed up with his smokestick. "Up there is the two headed fish. Over there is the Dancing Pubvian. Right there is the Ice Cream Box."
Each time the map highlighted, lines connecting bright stars into triangles, rhombuses, or just a string of lines.
"My people hunted, navigated the oceans, traveled the land by the light of the stars," the XO said. He exhaled a cloud of smoke. "We even kept track of the seasons, the years, all of that, before we even had much more than paper."
"Wow," Ret.lek stared at all the stars.
"Us humans, we'd look to the heavens and see a vast breathtaking starry field," the XO said.
"I can see the galactic spread," Ret.lek marveled.
"Yup," the XO said. He took a drink off of his beer.
"So you look for Sol?" Ret.lek asked.
"I'd try to find your home, but you're a long distance, too far for my eyes to see, even using vision magnification," the XO said. "If you want, though, I can give you a little app that'll let you spot any star in the sky if you can see where it is."
"That would be neat," Ret.lek said.
"The light we're seeing from Sol, the people there are all pre-Industrial. Iron Age, maybe, I'm not sure. Lots of empires, lots of fighting over territory. We were all scattered peoples then, just strewn all over seven continents," the XO said.
"Was it a disaster?" Ret.lek asked. Twelve thousand years ago, his people had been Lanaktallan servants for thousands of years.
"What? Oh, no. We spread out pretty quickly. Terra was pretty competitive," the XO said. "They explained it in school but that was a long time ago but I hated school and I kind of replaced that information with the maximum range of a thrown beer bottle pretty quick."
"You hated school?" Ret.lek said. "I thought humans craved knowledge."
The XO chuckled. "Maybe. I liked running cracked templates and hacked microforges, brawling with the other hab-gangs, and jacking speeders to take on a joy ride and crash out in the desert."
Ret.lek turned and looked at the XO.
"You were a criminal?" he asked.
The XO chuckled. "So was Daxin. Good enough for the first disciple of the Digital Omnimessiah, good enough for me."
"Why'd you join the military?" Ret.lek asked.
"Probably same reason as you," the XO said. He took a drink off his beer. "One step ahead of Lawsec, made too many enemies in the other gangs, and got too big for my britches so everyone was more than happy to dime me out to the law."
"I was running from a Lawsec patrol and ducked into a recruiting office to hide. Figured I'd take the test," Ret.lek admitted. "Lawsec escorted me to all my appointments, drove me to the starport the last day."
The XO chuckled. "Yeah. Lots of people just like us in the Confed military, kid."
"Why?" Ret.lek asked.
The XO shrugged. "Who knows. Not enough excitement in our civilian lives? Not enough challenge? Maybe just some people aren't born to live a life of ease and comfort, where scarcity is a forgotten relic of the past. Maybe the idea of having everything we want handed to us by a creation engine or a nano-forge just isn't what some of us want."
Ret.lek thought about how many times he'd gone hungry, gotten his ass kicked just to amuse someone bigger, and how many times he'd been robbed.
"I can't imagine having anything I want and still fighting with Lawsec," Ret.lek admitted.
The XO just shrugged. "Some humans are wired that way. You put us in a lavish, golden cage, with plenty of food and everything we could want, all we can see is the bars of the cage."
"So... why?" Ret.lek asked.
The XO shrugged. "I was a rebel without a clue, I guess. I wanted more, but I didn't know what it was I wanted, didn't have the vocabulary to understand what I wanted, so I lashed out."
Ret.lek stared at the little dot labeled "SOL" on the overlay in his vision. "What did you want?"
The XO was silent for a moment. "This. I wanted my life to matter. I didn't want to be just one more drone, jerking off into the collection hose, sleeping in the cubicle nearest me when I got tired, eating whatever was on the menu. I wanted fear, uncertainty, and hardship. I didn't feel complete unless I had to fight someone bigger than me for the same ration bar I could have gotten from any public food-forge for free."
"That can't be right," Ret.lek said.
The XO shrugged again, then took a drink off his bottle. "Yeah. Humanity was made to thrive where others suffer."
"Really?" Ret.lek could believe it.
"Yeah. It's scientifically proven that food tastes better, we like material objects, more when we struggle, fight, endure suffering, or work hard for it. We have an old saying: Something given has no value. Scientists proved, before we achieved superluminal flight, that a ration bar tastes better to us if we had to cave in some other poor bastard's face to get it or keep it."
"Fighting for something makes it taste better to you?" Ret.lek asked.
"Yup," the XO took a drag and exhaled smoke slowly. "The more we have to endure, the more danger, the better it is," he sighed. "Hell, there's an ancient parable about that."
"Can I hear it?" Ret.lek asked.
The XO shifted, putting one hand behind his head. "OK, a long time ago, back when people didn't really wear shoes because they weren't a thing yet, back when people just wrapped cloth around themselves because pants and shirts weren't really a thing, there was this wise man, right?"
"How long ago was this? Like, a million years?" Ret.lek asked.
"No. If we had a good enough telescope, we could probably see him right now. That light probably left Sol when this happened. Anyway, pay attention. So this wise man, right, he's out walking around the woods all contemplating everything and shit, like wise men do. This tiger jumps out,"
"Tiger?" Ret.lek asked.
"A Simba, back when they were all flesh and lived in the wild. Big ass carnivore cats. Anyway, this tiger jumps out and the wise man takes off running. The tiger is chasing him and he comes to a cliff. He sees a vine and starts to climb down, only he looks down and sees another tiger below him, looking up and all licking its chops and shit."
"Oh, fuck," Ret.lek said. He leaned back and stared up at Sol, imagining being able to see it.
"The wise man looks up, he sees this mouse come out, right, and it starts gnawing at the vine. So the wise man, he's trapped between two bigass tigers, hanging from a vine on a cliff, with a mouse chewing on the vine," the XO's voice seemed far away and Ret.lek could almost visualize it.
"The wise man, he looks over and sees a little clump of strawberries growing on the cliff. There's a single berry that's on it and ripe. The wise man picks it," the XO paused for a moment.
"It's perfectly shaped, plump, ripe, warmed by the sun. He pops it in his mouth, closing his eyes," The XO paused again.
"It was delicious," the XO said.
There was silence for a moment.
"What happened to the wise man?" Ret.lek asked.
"The tigers ate him. That's not the point. The point is, in the face of certain doom, the berry was perfect. The point is, surrounded by certain death, hanging from a fraying vine on a cliff, he chose to pick that strawberry and enjoy it in his final moments," the XO said. He took a drink, holding his smokestick in the same hand as the bottle. "That's what it's all about. That's what it means to be human."
Ret.lek shook his head. "That's crazy."
The XO took a long drag off his smokestick and exhaled the smoke slowly.
"Behold: Humanity!" he said softly.
-----
Four days later found Ret.lek in a skirmish line with the rest of the regiment. He was in the rear rank, marching steadily forward, his weapons live, his point defense striking down missiles and rockets, his missiles knocking aerospace fighters and strikers from the sky, his PPC's and autocannon shredding enemy armor. In front of him were three ranks of shorter warmeks. Around his feet were the toe-jam of powered armor infantry.
He was bored as shit.
MILINT and NAVINT were providing the targeting priorities. Regimental command had everyone's systems on override, running the battle from the information nerve center of the regiment. Every shot, every step, analyzed, determined, and ordered by the massive combat computer arrays of Regimental Combat Command.
Three of his four greenies were asleep. The new guy was chewing on the tips of his bladearms and looking around nervously.
Ret.lek was eating a Slender James meat stick, stirring it in a packet of MRE hot-pepper cheese, and taking swigs off of a Countess Crey Super Berry and Transmission Fluid Thirst Blaster. His hands weren't on the controls, he'd folded his legs onto his seat, and he was leaned back as far as the seat would go.
"Man, this sucks," Ret.lek grumbled.
His mek kept moving forward, his PPC's throwing man-made lightning into the front rank of enemy armor, his autocannon shredding the APC's, his missiles raking down the aerospace fighters and the strikers. His battlescreens just rippled slightly as the enemy's fire, inaccurate and sporadic at the long range that the Terran Confederacy Armed Services engaged the enemy at.
As he watched, the fire dwindled for a second just before the close air support grav-strikers came roaring in. He thought he saw something on the first striker and increased the magnification on it.
The pilot's head was pressed against the side window, his mouth was open, his eyes were closed, and he was drooling on the window.
He's on automatic too, Ret.lek realized.
"OK, this is bullshit," Ret.lek snapped, tearing open another meat stick and angrily biting the end off.
The commo clinked and Captain Stomps Your Guts Out appeared.
"You all right, Private? Your vitals and biometrics just spiked," the black mantid asked.
"Sir, this is bullshit. We're basically manned drones," Ret.lek complained.
"Welcome to the world of fully integrated combat," the Black Mantid shrugged. "We're basically just the biological backup systems."
"I liked it better during the Slorpie War," Ret.lek complained.
Stomps nodded. "We all did, Wrecker. The Slorpie War? That was the shit, right there. That time you uppercutted that kiaju made the division social media feed," he gave another shrug. "This? This is just modern warfare. It's like this until something goes wrong."
"Hmph," Ret.lek said, slumping slightly.
"The XO's asleep. So's your Lance Commander," Stomps said. "Warfare. 99.99% boring bullshit, point zero one percent pants shitting terror."
"At least I might get a strawberry," Ret.lek grumbled.
Stomps laughed. "You've been hanging around with the XO too long," he said. "As long as you're all right. Stomps out."
The channel closed.
Ret.lek watched as the entire second rank of the enemy tanks exploded in unison as the skirmish line opened up at the optimal range with the optimal firing angles and the optimal weapon power.
He took another bite of the meat stick, which usually tasted spicy and greasy, grimacing at the dry pasty taste. He stirred it in the greasy and oily hot artificial cheese flavored cheese substitute and took a bite.
It just didn't taste as good as it did back in the Slorpie Contested Zone.
And his soda was flat.
Ret.lek leaned back some more in his pilot's chair, putting his feet up on the dash, watching as the enemy missiles were killed far beyond their ignition range, popping them into a burst of black smoke that rained down chunks of debris.
He dropped the can into the grinder and tabbed up another one from the nutri-forge, setting it on random and getting a Cherry Blast Bingo Cola. Ret.lek cracked it open, watching as another salvo of enemy shells was raked out of the sky by the regiment's massed point defense and AMS systems. He shook his head, took a drink, and made a grimace.
It tasted off. Like something was missing,
Sighing, he just stirred the meat stick in the artificial cheese flavored cheese substitute, took a bite, and washed down the oily and chemically hot mouthful with weird tasting Bingo Cola.
Aerospace fighters tried to make a close attack run, only to be knocked down by missiles from the skirmish line of meks as well as the grav-strikers hovering behind the walking war machines.
They didn't even explode in cool colors like Slorpy Strikers.
"Man, war sucks," Ret.lek bitched.
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submitted by Ralts_Bloodthorne to HFY [link] [comments]
Wait till you see it, kid.
See what?
What the Terrans will do to other people. - Wemterran soldier, Second Human/Wemterran War
Ret.lek had to admit, if he hadn't have been part of it, he would have never believed it.
His mek was parked up on a hill, about six miles from the large enemy base that he'd helped attack.
He had his cockpit canopy open and was chewing on a Goody Yum-Yum bar, a narcobrew between his thighs, watching the remainder of the enemy base burn in the darkness.
On his left was the XO, who apparently used to be known as "Warboss" back when he worked with the other two Terrans. On the right was Sledgehammer, piloting a 70 ton missile wagon. On the XO's left was a 30 ton Cobra light ECM mek piloted by Sprinter.
Ret.lek could hear the rumble of the fusion engines from the other meks, but that and the local insects were the only sounds in the night.
Sledgehammer and Sprinter were asleep in their meks, their greenies working to repair the battle damage and recalibrating systems.
The XO was laying on a flat rock, a smokestick in his mouth and a bottle of fizzybrew in one hand, staring up at the stars.
Stuffing the last of the Goody Yum-Yum bar into his mouth, he climbed down and moved over to sit on the rock next to the XO.
"Good fight, kid," the XO said. He exhaled smoke, took a drink off his brew, and put the smokestick back in his mouth. "Knew you could hang tough."
"Thanks," Ret.lek said. "Whatcha looking at? The Navy boys?"
"Naw," the XO said. He took his smokestick out of his mouth and used it as a pointer. "See that star?"
"Which one?" Ret.lek asked.
The XO gave precise directions and finally he got which one.
"All right?" Ret.lek said.
"That's Sol. Where I'm from. We're twelve to thirteen thousand light years away, and I can still see it," the XO said.
"I can't," Ret.lek said.
"Huh. Eyes aren't as sensitive to light?" the XO asked.
"My people have better light sensitivity than Terrans, but to me, the sky has always been patchy. It takes a telescope or a long-exposure lens to really capture the night sky," Ret.lek said.
"Want to see what I see?" the XO asked.
"Sure," Ret.lek said, looking up at the sky. It was full of dark splotches, with scattered stars across it. As he stared, more and more stars came into view. As soon as he blinked, they vanished. The XO looked slowly from side to side a couple of time.
"We probably have more rhodopsin in our rods than your people," the XO said. He made a tossing motion. "Here, check that out."
Ret.lek accepted the file, saw it was a visual overlay, and put it in place.
He gasped when he looked up at the night sky.
It was full of glittering and gleaming points of light. Not the steady light of the stars he could normally see.
"You see all of this?" Ret.lek asked in disbelief.
"Yup," the XO said. "Looking up, my brain automatically looks for the brightest stars and groups them," he gave a chuckle and pointed up with his smokestick. "Up there is the two headed fish. Over there is the Dancing Pubvian. Right there is the Ice Cream Box."
Each time the map highlighted, lines connecting bright stars into triangles, rhombuses, or just a string of lines.
"My people hunted, navigated the oceans, traveled the land by the light of the stars," the XO said. He exhaled a cloud of smoke. "We even kept track of the seasons, the years, all of that, before we even had much more than paper."
"Wow," Ret.lek stared at all the stars.
"Us humans, we'd look to the heavens and see a vast breathtaking starry field," the XO said.
"I can see the galactic spread," Ret.lek marveled.
"Yup," the XO said. He took a drink off of his beer.
"So you look for Sol?" Ret.lek asked.
"I'd try to find your home, but you're a long distance, too far for my eyes to see, even using vision magnification," the XO said. "If you want, though, I can give you a little app that'll let you spot any star in the sky if you can see where it is."
"That would be neat," Ret.lek said.
"The light we're seeing from Sol, the people there are all pre-Industrial. Iron Age, maybe, I'm not sure. Lots of empires, lots of fighting over territory. We were all scattered peoples then, just strewn all over seven continents," the XO said.
"Was it a disaster?" Ret.lek asked. Twelve thousand years ago, his people had been Lanaktallan servants for thousands of years.
"What? Oh, no. We spread out pretty quickly. Terra was pretty competitive," the XO said. "They explained it in school but that was a long time ago but I hated school and I kind of replaced that information with the maximum range of a thrown beer bottle pretty quick."
"You hated school?" Ret.lek said. "I thought humans craved knowledge."
The XO chuckled. "Maybe. I liked running cracked templates and hacked microforges, brawling with the other hab-gangs, and jacking speeders to take on a joy ride and crash out in the desert."
Ret.lek turned and looked at the XO.
"You were a criminal?" he asked.
The XO chuckled. "So was Daxin. Good enough for the first disciple of the Digital Omnimessiah, good enough for me."
"Why'd you join the military?" Ret.lek asked.
"Probably same reason as you," the XO said. He took a drink off his beer. "One step ahead of Lawsec, made too many enemies in the other gangs, and got too big for my britches so everyone was more than happy to dime me out to the law."
"I was running from a Lawsec patrol and ducked into a recruiting office to hide. Figured I'd take the test," Ret.lek admitted. "Lawsec escorted me to all my appointments, drove me to the starport the last day."
The XO chuckled. "Yeah. Lots of people just like us in the Confed military, kid."
"Why?" Ret.lek asked.
The XO shrugged. "Who knows. Not enough excitement in our civilian lives? Not enough challenge? Maybe just some people aren't born to live a life of ease and comfort, where scarcity is a forgotten relic of the past. Maybe the idea of having everything we want handed to us by a creation engine or a nano-forge just isn't what some of us want."
Ret.lek thought about how many times he'd gone hungry, gotten his ass kicked just to amuse someone bigger, and how many times he'd been robbed.
"I can't imagine having anything I want and still fighting with Lawsec," Ret.lek admitted.
The XO just shrugged. "Some humans are wired that way. You put us in a lavish, golden cage, with plenty of food and everything we could want, all we can see is the bars of the cage."
"So... why?" Ret.lek asked.
The XO shrugged. "I was a rebel without a clue, I guess. I wanted more, but I didn't know what it was I wanted, didn't have the vocabulary to understand what I wanted, so I lashed out."
Ret.lek stared at the little dot labeled "SOL" on the overlay in his vision. "What did you want?"
The XO was silent for a moment. "This. I wanted my life to matter. I didn't want to be just one more drone, jerking off into the collection hose, sleeping in the cubicle nearest me when I got tired, eating whatever was on the menu. I wanted fear, uncertainty, and hardship. I didn't feel complete unless I had to fight someone bigger than me for the same ration bar I could have gotten from any public food-forge for free."
"That can't be right," Ret.lek said.
The XO shrugged again, then took a drink off his bottle. "Yeah. Humanity was made to thrive where others suffer."
"Really?" Ret.lek could believe it.
"Yeah. It's scientifically proven that food tastes better, we like material objects, more when we struggle, fight, endure suffering, or work hard for it. We have an old saying: Something given has no value. Scientists proved, before we achieved superluminal flight, that a ration bar tastes better to us if we had to cave in some other poor bastard's face to get it or keep it."
"Fighting for something makes it taste better to you?" Ret.lek asked.
"Yup," the XO took a drag and exhaled smoke slowly. "The more we have to endure, the more danger, the better it is," he sighed. "Hell, there's an ancient parable about that."
"Can I hear it?" Ret.lek asked.
The XO shifted, putting one hand behind his head. "OK, a long time ago, back when people didn't really wear shoes because they weren't a thing yet, back when people just wrapped cloth around themselves because pants and shirts weren't really a thing, there was this wise man, right?"
"How long ago was this? Like, a million years?" Ret.lek asked.
"No. If we had a good enough telescope, we could probably see him right now. That light probably left Sol when this happened. Anyway, pay attention. So this wise man, right, he's out walking around the woods all contemplating everything and shit, like wise men do. This tiger jumps out,"
"Tiger?" Ret.lek asked.
"A Simba, back when they were all flesh and lived in the wild. Big ass carnivore cats. Anyway, this tiger jumps out and the wise man takes off running. The tiger is chasing him and he comes to a cliff. He sees a vine and starts to climb down, only he looks down and sees another tiger below him, looking up and all licking its chops and shit."
"Oh, fuck," Ret.lek said. He leaned back and stared up at Sol, imagining being able to see it.
"The wise man looks up, he sees this mouse come out, right, and it starts gnawing at the vine. So the wise man, he's trapped between two bigass tigers, hanging from a vine on a cliff, with a mouse chewing on the vine," the XO's voice seemed far away and Ret.lek could almost visualize it.
"The wise man, he looks over and sees a little clump of strawberries growing on the cliff. There's a single berry that's on it and ripe. The wise man picks it," the XO paused for a moment.
"It's perfectly shaped, plump, ripe, warmed by the sun. He pops it in his mouth, closing his eyes," The XO paused again.
"It was delicious," the XO said.
There was silence for a moment.
"What happened to the wise man?" Ret.lek asked.
"The tigers ate him. That's not the point. The point is, in the face of certain doom, the berry was perfect. The point is, surrounded by certain death, hanging from a fraying vine on a cliff, he chose to pick that strawberry and enjoy it in his final moments," the XO said. He took a drink, holding his smokestick in the same hand as the bottle. "That's what it's all about. That's what it means to be human."
Ret.lek shook his head. "That's crazy."
The XO took a long drag off his smokestick and exhaled the smoke slowly.
"Behold: Humanity!" he said softly.
-----
Four days later found Ret.lek in a skirmish line with the rest of the regiment. He was in the rear rank, marching steadily forward, his weapons live, his point defense striking down missiles and rockets, his missiles knocking aerospace fighters and strikers from the sky, his PPC's and autocannon shredding enemy armor. In front of him were three ranks of shorter warmeks. Around his feet were the toe-jam of powered armor infantry.
He was bored as shit.
MILINT and NAVINT were providing the targeting priorities. Regimental command had everyone's systems on override, running the battle from the information nerve center of the regiment. Every shot, every step, analyzed, determined, and ordered by the massive combat computer arrays of Regimental Combat Command.
Three of his four greenies were asleep. The new guy was chewing on the tips of his bladearms and looking around nervously.
Ret.lek was eating a Slender James meat stick, stirring it in a packet of MRE hot-pepper cheese, and taking swigs off of a Countess Crey Super Berry and Transmission Fluid Thirst Blaster. His hands weren't on the controls, he'd folded his legs onto his seat, and he was leaned back as far as the seat would go.
"Man, this sucks," Ret.lek grumbled.
His mek kept moving forward, his PPC's throwing man-made lightning into the front rank of enemy armor, his autocannon shredding the APC's, his missiles raking down the aerospace fighters and the strikers. His battlescreens just rippled slightly as the enemy's fire, inaccurate and sporadic at the long range that the Terran Confederacy Armed Services engaged the enemy at.
As he watched, the fire dwindled for a second just before the close air support grav-strikers came roaring in. He thought he saw something on the first striker and increased the magnification on it.
The pilot's head was pressed against the side window, his mouth was open, his eyes were closed, and he was drooling on the window.
He's on automatic too, Ret.lek realized.
"OK, this is bullshit," Ret.lek snapped, tearing open another meat stick and angrily biting the end off.
The commo clinked and Captain Stomps Your Guts Out appeared.
"You all right, Private? Your vitals and biometrics just spiked," the black mantid asked.
"Sir, this is bullshit. We're basically manned drones," Ret.lek complained.
"Welcome to the world of fully integrated combat," the Black Mantid shrugged. "We're basically just the biological backup systems."
"I liked it better during the Slorpie War," Ret.lek complained.
Stomps nodded. "We all did, Wrecker. The Slorpie War? That was the shit, right there. That time you uppercutted that kiaju made the division social media feed," he gave another shrug. "This? This is just modern warfare. It's like this until something goes wrong."
"Hmph," Ret.lek said, slumping slightly.
"The XO's asleep. So's your Lance Commander," Stomps said. "Warfare. 99.99% boring bullshit, point zero one percent pants shitting terror."
"At least I might get a strawberry," Ret.lek grumbled.
Stomps laughed. "You've been hanging around with the XO too long," he said. "As long as you're all right. Stomps out."
The channel closed.
Ret.lek watched as the entire second rank of the enemy tanks exploded in unison as the skirmish line opened up at the optimal range with the optimal firing angles and the optimal weapon power.
He took another bite of the meat stick, which usually tasted spicy and greasy, grimacing at the dry pasty taste. He stirred it in the greasy and oily hot artificial cheese flavored cheese substitute and took a bite.
It just didn't taste as good as it did back in the Slorpie Contested Zone.
And his soda was flat.
Ret.lek leaned back some more in his pilot's chair, putting his feet up on the dash, watching as the enemy missiles were killed far beyond their ignition range, popping them into a burst of black smoke that rained down chunks of debris.
He dropped the can into the grinder and tabbed up another one from the nutri-forge, setting it on random and getting a Cherry Blast Bingo Cola. Ret.lek cracked it open, watching as another salvo of enemy shells was raked out of the sky by the regiment's massed point defense and AMS systems. He shook his head, took a drink, and made a grimace.
It tasted off. Like something was missing,
Sighing, he just stirred the meat stick in the artificial cheese flavored cheese substitute, took a bite, and washed down the oily and chemically hot mouthful with weird tasting Bingo Cola.
Aerospace fighters tried to make a close attack run, only to be knocked down by missiles from the skirmish line of meks as well as the grav-strikers hovering behind the walking war machines.
They didn't even explode in cool colors like Slorpy Strikers.
"Man, war sucks," Ret.lek bitched.
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2023.04.11 20:56 Malice_Qahwah Day of the Ogres
What is this, a crossover episode sequel?!
I'm having delusions of larger ideas, please let me know what you think!
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It was a cold, wet evening when word reached North Norric that the Kingdom of Nendir had fallen to the Ogre Dominion.
The courier had gone first to the inn, gasping out the news in front of the fireplace, shivering and grasping tightly at the heavy earthenware mug full of hot tea.
The inn's patrons, and half the village, crammed into the sagging old building, silent aside from the occasional gasp of shock, as he described the attack that had finally broken the last free Human kingdom.
“They didn’t have numbers, not at first, as if they wanted to show us they could defeat us without the hordes they attacked with in the past. The gates to the city came in like… haybales set on fire, burning with witchfire!”
This drew a gasp of horror from the audience, everyone knew the gates of Nendir, they were famously built of Ancient iron, relics of past wonders that had stood sentinel since before written history, streaking the roads and nearby buildings with rusty brown, yet solid and unbending.
“Five Ogres, wearing strange robes of silver and black, wielding staffs of Magic, that was all it took!” He shivered, fitfully, shock still bringing sweat to his brows despite the chill of the bad weather he had run through to spread word of the disaster.
“That was when the hordes appeared. They were silent, not like Ogres at all, they were disciplined. The Riders charged the broken gates, glorious bronze warriors, pennants snapping, they lowered their lances and charged the five magic users. And died, fire like lightning spewing from those staffs, burning and leaping from man to man, steam exploding from their helms, they never…” He gulped his tea, thick with steeped leaves and sugar milk.
“Not all of course, even in the face of such magic, and horror, they broke past and slew the five, but by then the horde was charging too. They stayed in ranks and remained silent. The regular army marched from the city while artisans tried to pull the gates back together, and they met in the fields just outside.
We never even noticed the second and third mage teams attacking the city walls from the west and east. The walls fared no better than the gates and this time there were no Riders to face them, only a few city guards. The Ogre hordes were smaller, from those directions, but enough to break through behind our defences. They overran the palace guards and… The King and his family were taken, and one of the ogres demanded we lay down arms while he held the crown prince by the neck.
That’s when we, the Crown couriers, took it upon ourselves to escape, and take warning to everyone we could reach.
Once our army was disarmed, they slaughtered the Royal family anyway. A few soldiers managed to escape the butchery that came after. They’d seen what the Ogres did, to those they killed. I can tell you all, right now, I am the fastest man on foot in the Kingdom, I can outpace anyone. I was overtaken by those soldiers on the second day out, and they did not stop at nightfall.”
He finished his drink in the silence that followed.
“You said you carried a warning. That you have done, and hard it has been on you, I can see, but we are a long way from the capital, we have time to prepare, and build defences, we have fought Ogres before and it will be years before more than a few scouts pass this far North.”
The blacksmith, big, and solid as all who worked metal at the forge were, seemed less impressed than the rest by the courier's story.
“No, smith, it will not be years. I ran, all the way here. By the smoke behind me, they burned the city and followed North within hours of my departure. At my pace, it took me a week to get here. They are only days behind me, at most. They overran the Kingdom's outer defences and reached the capital in under a month, we had no warning. They have magic, and discipline that rivals our own armies! There is nothing left that can stop them. I argue that you will face them with bravery and honour, but you will die just as the Kingdom's defenders died. This is no horde seeking a few months of grain supplies or a herd of cattle, they are conquering us, and they have already defeated Nendir.”
He set down his mug and softly thanked the innkeeper's wife for her, and her husband's, hospitality. “I cannot stay. You have days, either flee now, as fast as you are able or remain and I will gauge the Ogre's speed by the smoke from your pyre.”
The smith bristled, but an old man placed a hand on his shoulder. “He’s right Aunuld. I came from Entriss by the Sea, as a lad, and as a soldier, I saw first-hand how Ogres make war, and that was merely one tribe. If they have magic, and enough numbers to make real war, we must evacuate.”
The smith nodded reluctantly.
“Alright, Tamm. If you don’t think we can fend them off, we shall prepare to run.”
The courier glanced at the old man. If the old soldier had come from Entriss, he had witnessed the first fall of a human land to the bestial Ogres.
“We never believed the Ogres could be so organised. And now they have magic. We haven’t seen magic for centuries, it was all supposed to have faded away. I have to get over the mountains and take word to the Hotlands, perhaps they still possess the magic and the armies to defeat the Ogres.”
The innkeeper's wife shook her head and took the courier's arm as he swayed on the spot. “Oh no, not in this weather, not without sleep and dry clothes! And a waxed cloak, and some food for the journey. We can start packing tonight as you rest, and set out tomorrow, you can rest until then! You can’t warn anyone if you die of exposure before getting halfway through the pass!”
The courier nodded, reluctantly. He was exhausted and cold to the bone, and the ogres couldn’t be closer than three days march. A few hours wouldn’t hurt.
“Alright, but be sure to be ready to leave with the first light!” He stumbled as he was led away towards the simple guest bunkroom behind the bar.
“Tamm, are you certain?” The blacksmith didn’t sound confrontational, just worried.
“Completely. Crown Couriers are sworn to truth, it’s part of their cult, to have come this far and be so ill from the journey, he’s not only telling the truth exactly as he witnessed it, but his warning is as urgent as any can be. We must run, or perish. The only question I have is whether we can be ready to leave by dawn, and, more importantly, where do we run to!”
The blacksmith frowned. The village was small, with sixty adults and a few children, a dozen cows and twice as many sheep that were grazed and kept communally. They were close-knit, bound by family ties, exchanging new blood by marriage with other small villages spread along the bottom of the valley that lead up to the Dragon Mountains to the north.
Yet even among the small communities, there were family secrets kept close to the heart.
“As for organising the evacuation, all of you! Go! Pack only what you need, any weight you can heft, and keep room for things that can serve all of us! Load the cows too, they’re strong, and can carry firewood, grain, and cooking gear! Go! Now!”
Leaderless, the village functioned by a social contract, but the Blacksmith was respected and central to the community. He kept the mill gears working, and shod horses whenever the village traded for one or a rider passed through. He made the nails to build homes, the fire pokers, and even the cutlery and the small knives everyone carried. Childless, he had two apprentices he treated as close family and planned to pass down his deepest-kept secrets to when they were old enough.
“Okay, Tamm. You are a good man, but you were already a man when you joined us here, and that means there are secrets you have never been told. Things children learn then learn to keep to themselves. And among those, the blacksmiths keep secrets deeper still. There is a place we may be able to go. It’s where I and other smiths of the valley travel to find our metal. It's perilous, a place of Ancient magic and a guardian who demands appeasement, but I fear we have no other choice. And perhaps, if I am right, it may let us get beyond Dragons Mountain without having to brave the Pass.”
Tamm nodded. He remembered, from his own childhood, the secrets his own elders had kept, the Ancient places and ruins buried in the great plain outside his old home.
“I have to prepare. If we have to leave our homes forever, there are tools I will need to rebuild my forge.”
“That is fair, I should get my own belongings in order. I have some extra blankets, the ones I make from old clothing. They’re basic but warm.”
The two men went into the evening, as frightened people scurried around, loading handcarts and arguing with cows who had settled themselves for the night.
By morning, the entire village was crowding the road outside the inn. The courier looked far healthier and was wrapped warmly in a well-used, but carefully mended and wax-coated cloak. Half a dozen hand-carts, a dozen cows, and backpacks of every size loaded with all that they would need to survive.
“I scattered the sheep up on the valley pasture, they’ll be alright until winter. If we return, we’ll get most of them back. If not, well, it’s the best we can do, we need to go as fast as we can.” Several people nodded, as the volunteer shepherd explained his morning.
“The cows are loaded, and we modified some old horse halters for them. They’re unhappy but will follow directions. Are the carts tied down?”
“Yes! As long as the paths are not too rough they’ll roll and not shed anything!”
The blacksmith cast his eye over the assemblage and raised an eyebrow as Tamm rattled to a halt beside him.
“I never saw you wearing any of that before!” He was half smiling.
“I never thought I would need a single piece of it again. Mostly still fits, I think I got shorter though.”
Shorter, skinnier, and thirty years older, reflected the smith, as he eyed the antique armour and weapons the old man was dressed in. It was good steel though, he recognised master smithery when he saw it, and the sword strapped to the old man's back looked as if it had been freshly sharpened.
“If it comes to you needing to use that stuff, we’re already in more trouble than I want to imagine. Are we ready?” His last three words were a shout across the heads of the village. The answering rumble was generally affirmative, although the scream of a young baby cut through it.
“Then we go North! Follow the river path, right for the waterfall!”
They set off, slowly at first, then settling into a steady and quick pace through the land they all knew well and loved dearly. In the distance, behind them, they could see a spire of smoke, some farmstead only two days march South burning and encouraging any stragglers to keep up.
Ahead of them, the Courier sped, three more villages getting the news just in time to join the march, and several farms and fisheries joined too.
The blacksmiths of the villages walked together, discussing the Mountain, and sharing knowledge of the guardian beneath it. They concluded that despite some slight differences in intonation, the appeasement rituals they all knew were all similar enough.
The leader of the convoy finally spotted the waterfall that fed the river through their home valley and shouted back down the line. They all jostled up a bit, nearly two hundred adults strong now, and the blacksmiths made their way up.
“Alright, everyone!” shouted Aunuld. “Me and the other smiths are going to open the Way into the mountain. Anyone with tracking experience, get ready, you’ll be last in, you need to cover where we enter, the Ogres can’t be allowed to find the door!”
Several men and women pumped their fists in the air. This had been discussed already and wasn’t expected to delay the Ogres for long, but the smoke from the nearest village was only hours old, they all knew any minute they could delay the pursuers was a minute longer for escaping.
The smiths went up to the boulders surrounding the bottom of the waterfall. Almost lost in the spray, they grabbed some hidden handhold and together strained.
A section of the cliff face, smooth grey stone and streaked with rusty ores, swung open with a horrible grinding screech.
“I’ll go in front, and start the ritual, you two close up once the trackers are inside.” The other two nodded, all three ignoring the frightened-looking apprentices, who were, even now, expected to watch and learn and not interrupt.
“All the rest of you, follow closely. About a hundred paces inside, we will enter an open area. We will regroup there, and I will ask permission to go further.”
“Permission from who Aunuld?” Tamm's voice was strong, despite his ever frailer appearance, a forced march in full armour not having done the old man any favours.
“From the guardian, Tamm. There’s a reason this is called the Dragon Mountain.”
Aunuld turned, and headed into the darkness, chanting in a low, deep voice which rumbled off the walls and echoed down the smooth passage.
“Booh Lowdeah rahaa nanohhven. Ohh oathadiana kronebree gade. I am Aunuld of North Norric. Manna tenents anger couda alafer demon beata manna trake.”
And then the part that filled him with genuine fear. He had used his personal chant many times, this ancient place was the only source of good steel and iron, he, his father, his father's father, and generations upon generations before him had used the base of the chant. It was safe. The other blacksmiths had their own chants, although they had slight differences.
However, this time, instead of being alone, he was here with two hundred other people. This wasn’t like introducing an apprentice, as his father had introduced him, the Dragon may well take deep offence to this, and refuse them passage through its lair.
“Everyone, wait here, I shall go on and speak with the dragon. If it grants us passage, I will return.”
In the distance, the rending crash of the door closing echoes, and now only the flickering light of lanterns and candles illuminated the frightened faces.
He steadied himself, and walked on, towards the great chamber further down the passage. It takes him several minutes to realise the courier and Tamm followed.
He nods. It wouldn’t make any difference; the Dragon already knew they were all there. It always knew how many had entered.
Still speaking his ritual phrases, and the two men at his sides repeating his phrases, inserting their own names and hometowns, far away in the distance the echoes of the other two blacksmiths' rituals rumble. This was as good as it was going to get.
He took a deep breath and stepped out into the chamber.
The dragon was massive. In the dim light of his single lantern, it looked blocky, slab sides, with a single red eye that gazed at them.
“I come in supplication, oh dragon, Guardian. I ask forgiveness for this intrusion, but we are desperate for aid. We flee an army of Ogres. The Kingdom of Nendir has fallen, and the enemy is at our heels, if you deny us passage beneath the mountain, we die. Manna tenents anger couda alafer demon beata manna trake. Manna tenents anger couda alafer demon beata manna trake. Please.”
A long silence follows. And then, far behind, a faint crash. And another. The Ogres had found the secret door beneath the mountain, and lacking the knowledge of opening it, were trying to smash it apart.
The broken silence begins to rumble. The baleful red eye blinks, and then another… opens.
---
I awaken from Low Power Standby mode to level one consciousness, self-diagnostics running and reporting my current readiness level. My reactor, weapons, hull and armour are at 100% condition, running gear and tracks report 92%, likely due to not having moved for eighty centuries.
The inaccuracy of my standby timer briefly alarms me, but I swiftly check the depot logs and discover that the radioactive source for my internal atomic clock has passed its half-life and ceased to be reliable. The depot clock is suffering a similar fault, and I cannot contact satellites in orbit for an update. The Depot computers report a significant seismic event having occurred sometime before the failure of the clocks, but several centuries after I was placed here. I surmise that the depot has been buried in debris since it was mothballed.
I examine the humans who have approached me. Archaic clothing, primitive armour and weapons, some evidence of childhood malnutrition in the elderly one. They were repeating Maintenance access codes, ones seemingly learned from rote, and judging from their recorded conversations, some lingual drift had also impacted their ability to repeat the codes accurately.
However, the codes were still valid, and this gave me some… wiggle room, as my commander had once called it.
I do not, at present, know the nature of the Enemy, but humans have requested protection from a Mark XXI Bolo ‘Terrible’ of the Dinochrome Brigade, and I will not fail them.
I rise towards Battle Reflex mode. My full capabilities have not yet been authorised, but my psychotronic circuitry is rapidly activating after centuries of disuse.
Within 2.245 seconds I am at full awareness and readiness.
Aunuld, Tamm and Johan stare upwards at the baleful glare of the monster they have awakened, a small shuffling of feet betraying their nervousness, although none of them would ever know how close they had come to tripping truly terrible fail-safes.
The dragon spoke, in a voice that growled with ancient rust and dust of ages.
“Bolo DRA 9070 of the Dinochrome Brigade recognises Aunuld of North Norric. Maintenance Engineer Code Alpha Diamond Beta Mandrake has been recognised and accepted. Maintenance Engineer code Echo Rhombus Gamma Lycopersicum and Maintenance Engineer code Delta Pentode Echo Melongena have been recognised and accepted. Repeat codes for new users Tamm of Entriss and Courier Johan of Nendir have been accepted.
You are not recognised as being in my chain of command. You are not authorised to enable Battle Reflex mode. Your status as refugees fleeing unknown species ‘OGRES’ has been logged. Unknown species identified attempting access by Upper Egress hatch 25 have been flagged provisionally as ‘OGRES’. No entry authorisation has been granted. Exterior observations indicate multiple human corpses, body parts, and belongings, are in possession of ‘OGRES’.
Species OGRE is recognised as a hostile non-human life form. Human life forms present within this depot are hereby granted provisional protection under Dinochrome human life defence protocols.
I shall Protect you.
Return to antechamber 25 and await further instructions. Be advised, depot defences have now been activated, autocannon will be deployed at intersections and entryways for your protection.”
The monster fell silent, as more sullen lights woke across its bulk. Aunuld and the others quickly fell back towards the doorway they had entered by, nervously glancing back over their shoulders, until they were safely into the confines of the passageway. As they turned away for the last time, Aunuld glanced back at the being he had called ‘dragon’ for his entire life.
Bright white lights had begun to flicker to life, revealing the monster. Vast, slab-sided, black, and studded with lumps and misshapen knots of unidentifiable machinery. Around it, scattered here and there, the rusted remnants of ancient machinery, many of which Aunuld and his ancestors had scavenged for metal to work. The dragon, however, was unmarred, and somehow, even though he recognised it now as some vast machine, it was nonetheless alive.
New light now revealed the contours of the smooth rock walls, built for the height of men, they looked ancient, but solid, not like rock at all. Not that they had long to admire the craftsmanship, just as they reached the room where the villagers huddled, now illuminated by the white squares that had started lighting the corridor, they heard the great hidden door they had entered the mountain by, crash asunder.
“The dragon says it will protect us. But it is massive, it cannot fit down the passageway. So, someone has to try and slow down the ogres, I know it told us to wait here, but the door is broken, once they clear the way, they’ll be among us and killing. I will go, slow them down, you all have to get to the dragon's chamber, where it can protect you!”
Tamm, old, tired and worn, drew his old sword, clapped his friend Aunuld on the shoulder, nodded to the courier, and strode into the corridor.
He felt younger than he had in decades, stronger, the pain in his joints fading and a bounce entering his step as he broke into a jog, then a run. The first Ogre was pushing past the broken doorway, massive chunks of broken grey stone, glowing orange from the ogre's magics blocking the way, but not stopping them. It bellowed and charged the old human, the frustration of days of pursuit finally breaking the discipline that had taken the defenders of Nendir by suck surprise.
He met the Ogre's upraised blade with his sword, and spun, the human blade carved from a single piece of Ancient steel, nearly impossible to forge, unbreakable and sharp enough to shave with… It sheared through the Ogre's knees with a double chunk of chopped meat. His backstroke severed the monster's head, and then he is facing the next one through the door.
He takes a single step towards it, and it explodes in a shower of gore.
“What…?”
The next Ogre explodes in the same fashion, and finally, he hears the source. Behind him, above his head, a smooth metal staff extends from the ceiling, from some hidden recess. It flares with magic, and spits, a searing snap of power that blows apart the following Ogres.
Suddenly feeling his age, he staggers back and carefully retreats down the passageway.
“The dragon has employed magic of its own. It’s guarding the passage, and I suspect the ogres encamped outside are suffering too.”
They made camp, there in the ancient antechamber, not understanding the rumbling that echoed through the walls, or the distant noises as an ancient Bolo, obsolete and mothballed centuries before their ancestors saw the starships they had designated a ‘locust’ species had been blown out of the skies of their agricultural colony world, hunted the ‘Ogres’ who had come so close to finally conquering the planet so many had died for.
…
It has been 4597 hours since I climbed the beach below the cliff I had finally been eroded free of. Days passing have recharged my worn batteries by 34%, and I ping my regimental radio channels once again. The humans I was born to protect would not be able to restore me to fighting condition, I needed a depot for repairs. The woodsmoke and low stone buildings I could detect with my scuffed optics do not give me much hope.
It is the 1465th time that I have attempted to contact the Brigade channels. By now I do not expect a response.
It is therefore with some surprise that I receive a ping on an older, but still secure, channel.
‘Bolo DRA 9070 requesting Tactical Update. I am engaged with the Enemy, Enemy possesses small calibre plasma weapons of unknown design, and combat armour based on salvaged metallurgy. Requesting any additional data before departing depot.’
My memory banks contain the record of every bolo in existence, up until my own final deployment. Bolo DRA 9070 is logged as ‘Mothballed, pending final decommissioning.’ A MKXXI, it should have been rendered inert before I was ever landed here. A relic, even in my own time.
And yet, I knew joy. Another of my kind, another to share the burden, the responsibility.
‘I am Bolo SEL 8353 of the Dinochrome Brigade. Prepare to receive tactical updates.’
Previous - Next
submitted by Malice_Qahwah to HFY [link] [comments]
I'm having delusions of larger ideas, please let me know what you think!
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It was a cold, wet evening when word reached North Norric that the Kingdom of Nendir had fallen to the Ogre Dominion.
The courier had gone first to the inn, gasping out the news in front of the fireplace, shivering and grasping tightly at the heavy earthenware mug full of hot tea.
The inn's patrons, and half the village, crammed into the sagging old building, silent aside from the occasional gasp of shock, as he described the attack that had finally broken the last free Human kingdom.
“They didn’t have numbers, not at first, as if they wanted to show us they could defeat us without the hordes they attacked with in the past. The gates to the city came in like… haybales set on fire, burning with witchfire!”
This drew a gasp of horror from the audience, everyone knew the gates of Nendir, they were famously built of Ancient iron, relics of past wonders that had stood sentinel since before written history, streaking the roads and nearby buildings with rusty brown, yet solid and unbending.
“Five Ogres, wearing strange robes of silver and black, wielding staffs of Magic, that was all it took!” He shivered, fitfully, shock still bringing sweat to his brows despite the chill of the bad weather he had run through to spread word of the disaster.
“That was when the hordes appeared. They were silent, not like Ogres at all, they were disciplined. The Riders charged the broken gates, glorious bronze warriors, pennants snapping, they lowered their lances and charged the five magic users. And died, fire like lightning spewing from those staffs, burning and leaping from man to man, steam exploding from their helms, they never…” He gulped his tea, thick with steeped leaves and sugar milk.
“Not all of course, even in the face of such magic, and horror, they broke past and slew the five, but by then the horde was charging too. They stayed in ranks and remained silent. The regular army marched from the city while artisans tried to pull the gates back together, and they met in the fields just outside.
We never even noticed the second and third mage teams attacking the city walls from the west and east. The walls fared no better than the gates and this time there were no Riders to face them, only a few city guards. The Ogre hordes were smaller, from those directions, but enough to break through behind our defences. They overran the palace guards and… The King and his family were taken, and one of the ogres demanded we lay down arms while he held the crown prince by the neck.
That’s when we, the Crown couriers, took it upon ourselves to escape, and take warning to everyone we could reach.
Once our army was disarmed, they slaughtered the Royal family anyway. A few soldiers managed to escape the butchery that came after. They’d seen what the Ogres did, to those they killed. I can tell you all, right now, I am the fastest man on foot in the Kingdom, I can outpace anyone. I was overtaken by those soldiers on the second day out, and they did not stop at nightfall.”
He finished his drink in the silence that followed.
“You said you carried a warning. That you have done, and hard it has been on you, I can see, but we are a long way from the capital, we have time to prepare, and build defences, we have fought Ogres before and it will be years before more than a few scouts pass this far North.”
The blacksmith, big, and solid as all who worked metal at the forge were, seemed less impressed than the rest by the courier's story.
“No, smith, it will not be years. I ran, all the way here. By the smoke behind me, they burned the city and followed North within hours of my departure. At my pace, it took me a week to get here. They are only days behind me, at most. They overran the Kingdom's outer defences and reached the capital in under a month, we had no warning. They have magic, and discipline that rivals our own armies! There is nothing left that can stop them. I argue that you will face them with bravery and honour, but you will die just as the Kingdom's defenders died. This is no horde seeking a few months of grain supplies or a herd of cattle, they are conquering us, and they have already defeated Nendir.”
He set down his mug and softly thanked the innkeeper's wife for her, and her husband's, hospitality. “I cannot stay. You have days, either flee now, as fast as you are able or remain and I will gauge the Ogre's speed by the smoke from your pyre.”
The smith bristled, but an old man placed a hand on his shoulder. “He’s right Aunuld. I came from Entriss by the Sea, as a lad, and as a soldier, I saw first-hand how Ogres make war, and that was merely one tribe. If they have magic, and enough numbers to make real war, we must evacuate.”
The smith nodded reluctantly.
“Alright, Tamm. If you don’t think we can fend them off, we shall prepare to run.”
The courier glanced at the old man. If the old soldier had come from Entriss, he had witnessed the first fall of a human land to the bestial Ogres.
“We never believed the Ogres could be so organised. And now they have magic. We haven’t seen magic for centuries, it was all supposed to have faded away. I have to get over the mountains and take word to the Hotlands, perhaps they still possess the magic and the armies to defeat the Ogres.”
The innkeeper's wife shook her head and took the courier's arm as he swayed on the spot. “Oh no, not in this weather, not without sleep and dry clothes! And a waxed cloak, and some food for the journey. We can start packing tonight as you rest, and set out tomorrow, you can rest until then! You can’t warn anyone if you die of exposure before getting halfway through the pass!”
The courier nodded, reluctantly. He was exhausted and cold to the bone, and the ogres couldn’t be closer than three days march. A few hours wouldn’t hurt.
“Alright, but be sure to be ready to leave with the first light!” He stumbled as he was led away towards the simple guest bunkroom behind the bar.
“Tamm, are you certain?” The blacksmith didn’t sound confrontational, just worried.
“Completely. Crown Couriers are sworn to truth, it’s part of their cult, to have come this far and be so ill from the journey, he’s not only telling the truth exactly as he witnessed it, but his warning is as urgent as any can be. We must run, or perish. The only question I have is whether we can be ready to leave by dawn, and, more importantly, where do we run to!”
The blacksmith frowned. The village was small, with sixty adults and a few children, a dozen cows and twice as many sheep that were grazed and kept communally. They were close-knit, bound by family ties, exchanging new blood by marriage with other small villages spread along the bottom of the valley that lead up to the Dragon Mountains to the north.
Yet even among the small communities, there were family secrets kept close to the heart.
“As for organising the evacuation, all of you! Go! Pack only what you need, any weight you can heft, and keep room for things that can serve all of us! Load the cows too, they’re strong, and can carry firewood, grain, and cooking gear! Go! Now!”
Leaderless, the village functioned by a social contract, but the Blacksmith was respected and central to the community. He kept the mill gears working, and shod horses whenever the village traded for one or a rider passed through. He made the nails to build homes, the fire pokers, and even the cutlery and the small knives everyone carried. Childless, he had two apprentices he treated as close family and planned to pass down his deepest-kept secrets to when they were old enough.
“Okay, Tamm. You are a good man, but you were already a man when you joined us here, and that means there are secrets you have never been told. Things children learn then learn to keep to themselves. And among those, the blacksmiths keep secrets deeper still. There is a place we may be able to go. It’s where I and other smiths of the valley travel to find our metal. It's perilous, a place of Ancient magic and a guardian who demands appeasement, but I fear we have no other choice. And perhaps, if I am right, it may let us get beyond Dragons Mountain without having to brave the Pass.”
Tamm nodded. He remembered, from his own childhood, the secrets his own elders had kept, the Ancient places and ruins buried in the great plain outside his old home.
“I have to prepare. If we have to leave our homes forever, there are tools I will need to rebuild my forge.”
“That is fair, I should get my own belongings in order. I have some extra blankets, the ones I make from old clothing. They’re basic but warm.”
The two men went into the evening, as frightened people scurried around, loading handcarts and arguing with cows who had settled themselves for the night.
By morning, the entire village was crowding the road outside the inn. The courier looked far healthier and was wrapped warmly in a well-used, but carefully mended and wax-coated cloak. Half a dozen hand-carts, a dozen cows, and backpacks of every size loaded with all that they would need to survive.
“I scattered the sheep up on the valley pasture, they’ll be alright until winter. If we return, we’ll get most of them back. If not, well, it’s the best we can do, we need to go as fast as we can.” Several people nodded, as the volunteer shepherd explained his morning.
“The cows are loaded, and we modified some old horse halters for them. They’re unhappy but will follow directions. Are the carts tied down?”
“Yes! As long as the paths are not too rough they’ll roll and not shed anything!”
The blacksmith cast his eye over the assemblage and raised an eyebrow as Tamm rattled to a halt beside him.
“I never saw you wearing any of that before!” He was half smiling.
“I never thought I would need a single piece of it again. Mostly still fits, I think I got shorter though.”
Shorter, skinnier, and thirty years older, reflected the smith, as he eyed the antique armour and weapons the old man was dressed in. It was good steel though, he recognised master smithery when he saw it, and the sword strapped to the old man's back looked as if it had been freshly sharpened.
“If it comes to you needing to use that stuff, we’re already in more trouble than I want to imagine. Are we ready?” His last three words were a shout across the heads of the village. The answering rumble was generally affirmative, although the scream of a young baby cut through it.
“Then we go North! Follow the river path, right for the waterfall!”
They set off, slowly at first, then settling into a steady and quick pace through the land they all knew well and loved dearly. In the distance, behind them, they could see a spire of smoke, some farmstead only two days march South burning and encouraging any stragglers to keep up.
Ahead of them, the Courier sped, three more villages getting the news just in time to join the march, and several farms and fisheries joined too.
The blacksmiths of the villages walked together, discussing the Mountain, and sharing knowledge of the guardian beneath it. They concluded that despite some slight differences in intonation, the appeasement rituals they all knew were all similar enough.
The leader of the convoy finally spotted the waterfall that fed the river through their home valley and shouted back down the line. They all jostled up a bit, nearly two hundred adults strong now, and the blacksmiths made their way up.
“Alright, everyone!” shouted Aunuld. “Me and the other smiths are going to open the Way into the mountain. Anyone with tracking experience, get ready, you’ll be last in, you need to cover where we enter, the Ogres can’t be allowed to find the door!”
Several men and women pumped their fists in the air. This had been discussed already and wasn’t expected to delay the Ogres for long, but the smoke from the nearest village was only hours old, they all knew any minute they could delay the pursuers was a minute longer for escaping.
The smiths went up to the boulders surrounding the bottom of the waterfall. Almost lost in the spray, they grabbed some hidden handhold and together strained.
A section of the cliff face, smooth grey stone and streaked with rusty ores, swung open with a horrible grinding screech.
“I’ll go in front, and start the ritual, you two close up once the trackers are inside.” The other two nodded, all three ignoring the frightened-looking apprentices, who were, even now, expected to watch and learn and not interrupt.
“All the rest of you, follow closely. About a hundred paces inside, we will enter an open area. We will regroup there, and I will ask permission to go further.”
“Permission from who Aunuld?” Tamm's voice was strong, despite his ever frailer appearance, a forced march in full armour not having done the old man any favours.
“From the guardian, Tamm. There’s a reason this is called the Dragon Mountain.”
Aunuld turned, and headed into the darkness, chanting in a low, deep voice which rumbled off the walls and echoed down the smooth passage.
“Booh Lowdeah rahaa nanohhven. Ohh oathadiana kronebree gade. I am Aunuld of North Norric. Manna tenents anger couda alafer demon beata manna trake.”
And then the part that filled him with genuine fear. He had used his personal chant many times, this ancient place was the only source of good steel and iron, he, his father, his father's father, and generations upon generations before him had used the base of the chant. It was safe. The other blacksmiths had their own chants, although they had slight differences.
However, this time, instead of being alone, he was here with two hundred other people. This wasn’t like introducing an apprentice, as his father had introduced him, the Dragon may well take deep offence to this, and refuse them passage through its lair.
“Everyone, wait here, I shall go on and speak with the dragon. If it grants us passage, I will return.”
In the distance, the rending crash of the door closing echoes, and now only the flickering light of lanterns and candles illuminated the frightened faces.
He steadied himself, and walked on, towards the great chamber further down the passage. It takes him several minutes to realise the courier and Tamm followed.
He nods. It wouldn’t make any difference; the Dragon already knew they were all there. It always knew how many had entered.
Still speaking his ritual phrases, and the two men at his sides repeating his phrases, inserting their own names and hometowns, far away in the distance the echoes of the other two blacksmiths' rituals rumble. This was as good as it was going to get.
He took a deep breath and stepped out into the chamber.
The dragon was massive. In the dim light of his single lantern, it looked blocky, slab sides, with a single red eye that gazed at them.
“I come in supplication, oh dragon, Guardian. I ask forgiveness for this intrusion, but we are desperate for aid. We flee an army of Ogres. The Kingdom of Nendir has fallen, and the enemy is at our heels, if you deny us passage beneath the mountain, we die. Manna tenents anger couda alafer demon beata manna trake. Manna tenents anger couda alafer demon beata manna trake. Please.”
A long silence follows. And then, far behind, a faint crash. And another. The Ogres had found the secret door beneath the mountain, and lacking the knowledge of opening it, were trying to smash it apart.
The broken silence begins to rumble. The baleful red eye blinks, and then another… opens.
---
I awaken from Low Power Standby mode to level one consciousness, self-diagnostics running and reporting my current readiness level. My reactor, weapons, hull and armour are at 100% condition, running gear and tracks report 92%, likely due to not having moved for eighty centuries.
The inaccuracy of my standby timer briefly alarms me, but I swiftly check the depot logs and discover that the radioactive source for my internal atomic clock has passed its half-life and ceased to be reliable. The depot clock is suffering a similar fault, and I cannot contact satellites in orbit for an update. The Depot computers report a significant seismic event having occurred sometime before the failure of the clocks, but several centuries after I was placed here. I surmise that the depot has been buried in debris since it was mothballed.
I examine the humans who have approached me. Archaic clothing, primitive armour and weapons, some evidence of childhood malnutrition in the elderly one. They were repeating Maintenance access codes, ones seemingly learned from rote, and judging from their recorded conversations, some lingual drift had also impacted their ability to repeat the codes accurately.
However, the codes were still valid, and this gave me some… wiggle room, as my commander had once called it.
I do not, at present, know the nature of the Enemy, but humans have requested protection from a Mark XXI Bolo ‘Terrible’ of the Dinochrome Brigade, and I will not fail them.
I rise towards Battle Reflex mode. My full capabilities have not yet been authorised, but my psychotronic circuitry is rapidly activating after centuries of disuse.
Within 2.245 seconds I am at full awareness and readiness.
Aunuld, Tamm and Johan stare upwards at the baleful glare of the monster they have awakened, a small shuffling of feet betraying their nervousness, although none of them would ever know how close they had come to tripping truly terrible fail-safes.
The dragon spoke, in a voice that growled with ancient rust and dust of ages.
“Bolo DRA 9070 of the Dinochrome Brigade recognises Aunuld of North Norric. Maintenance Engineer Code Alpha Diamond Beta Mandrake has been recognised and accepted. Maintenance Engineer code Echo Rhombus Gamma Lycopersicum and Maintenance Engineer code Delta Pentode Echo Melongena have been recognised and accepted. Repeat codes for new users Tamm of Entriss and Courier Johan of Nendir have been accepted.
You are not recognised as being in my chain of command. You are not authorised to enable Battle Reflex mode. Your status as refugees fleeing unknown species ‘OGRES’ has been logged. Unknown species identified attempting access by Upper Egress hatch 25 have been flagged provisionally as ‘OGRES’. No entry authorisation has been granted. Exterior observations indicate multiple human corpses, body parts, and belongings, are in possession of ‘OGRES’.
Species OGRE is recognised as a hostile non-human life form. Human life forms present within this depot are hereby granted provisional protection under Dinochrome human life defence protocols.
I shall Protect you.
Return to antechamber 25 and await further instructions. Be advised, depot defences have now been activated, autocannon will be deployed at intersections and entryways for your protection.”
The monster fell silent, as more sullen lights woke across its bulk. Aunuld and the others quickly fell back towards the doorway they had entered by, nervously glancing back over their shoulders, until they were safely into the confines of the passageway. As they turned away for the last time, Aunuld glanced back at the being he had called ‘dragon’ for his entire life.
Bright white lights had begun to flicker to life, revealing the monster. Vast, slab-sided, black, and studded with lumps and misshapen knots of unidentifiable machinery. Around it, scattered here and there, the rusted remnants of ancient machinery, many of which Aunuld and his ancestors had scavenged for metal to work. The dragon, however, was unmarred, and somehow, even though he recognised it now as some vast machine, it was nonetheless alive.
New light now revealed the contours of the smooth rock walls, built for the height of men, they looked ancient, but solid, not like rock at all. Not that they had long to admire the craftsmanship, just as they reached the room where the villagers huddled, now illuminated by the white squares that had started lighting the corridor, they heard the great hidden door they had entered the mountain by, crash asunder.
“The dragon says it will protect us. But it is massive, it cannot fit down the passageway. So, someone has to try and slow down the ogres, I know it told us to wait here, but the door is broken, once they clear the way, they’ll be among us and killing. I will go, slow them down, you all have to get to the dragon's chamber, where it can protect you!”
Tamm, old, tired and worn, drew his old sword, clapped his friend Aunuld on the shoulder, nodded to the courier, and strode into the corridor.
He felt younger than he had in decades, stronger, the pain in his joints fading and a bounce entering his step as he broke into a jog, then a run. The first Ogre was pushing past the broken doorway, massive chunks of broken grey stone, glowing orange from the ogre's magics blocking the way, but not stopping them. It bellowed and charged the old human, the frustration of days of pursuit finally breaking the discipline that had taken the defenders of Nendir by suck surprise.
He met the Ogre's upraised blade with his sword, and spun, the human blade carved from a single piece of Ancient steel, nearly impossible to forge, unbreakable and sharp enough to shave with… It sheared through the Ogre's knees with a double chunk of chopped meat. His backstroke severed the monster's head, and then he is facing the next one through the door.
He takes a single step towards it, and it explodes in a shower of gore.
“What…?”
The next Ogre explodes in the same fashion, and finally, he hears the source. Behind him, above his head, a smooth metal staff extends from the ceiling, from some hidden recess. It flares with magic, and spits, a searing snap of power that blows apart the following Ogres.
Suddenly feeling his age, he staggers back and carefully retreats down the passageway.
“The dragon has employed magic of its own. It’s guarding the passage, and I suspect the ogres encamped outside are suffering too.”
They made camp, there in the ancient antechamber, not understanding the rumbling that echoed through the walls, or the distant noises as an ancient Bolo, obsolete and mothballed centuries before their ancestors saw the starships they had designated a ‘locust’ species had been blown out of the skies of their agricultural colony world, hunted the ‘Ogres’ who had come so close to finally conquering the planet so many had died for.
…
It has been 4597 hours since I climbed the beach below the cliff I had finally been eroded free of. Days passing have recharged my worn batteries by 34%, and I ping my regimental radio channels once again. The humans I was born to protect would not be able to restore me to fighting condition, I needed a depot for repairs. The woodsmoke and low stone buildings I could detect with my scuffed optics do not give me much hope.
It is the 1465th time that I have attempted to contact the Brigade channels. By now I do not expect a response.
It is therefore with some surprise that I receive a ping on an older, but still secure, channel.
‘Bolo DRA 9070 requesting Tactical Update. I am engaged with the Enemy, Enemy possesses small calibre plasma weapons of unknown design, and combat armour based on salvaged metallurgy. Requesting any additional data before departing depot.’
My memory banks contain the record of every bolo in existence, up until my own final deployment. Bolo DRA 9070 is logged as ‘Mothballed, pending final decommissioning.’ A MKXXI, it should have been rendered inert before I was ever landed here. A relic, even in my own time.
And yet, I knew joy. Another of my kind, another to share the burden, the responsibility.
‘I am Bolo SEL 8353 of the Dinochrome Brigade. Prepare to receive tactical updates.’
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2023.04.08 16:25 --Cr1imsoN-- Which Fallout game has your favorite version of the Brotherhood of Steel?
Fallout: The OG. The core BOS at Lost Hills. Where it all started. In the first Fallout, the BOS were the only source of power armor in the game. The Lost Hills BOS are strong and not yet super xenophobic. They even trade with outsiders for food and in exchange give them weapons. In the canon ending of Fallout, the BOS helps the other settlements drive out the remains of the Master's Mutant Army. They aren't bad folks.
Fallout 2: They barely exist as a presence in this game. Just a handful of bunkers in northern California. They do help the Chosen One get to the Enclave to blow up the oil rig though. I still think it's fair to include them though. Like in New Vegas, they are something of a minor faction in Fallout 2.
Fallout Tactics: My personal favorite. Even though 99% of the game is non-canon, the Midwest BOS are kind of what I see happening with the east-coast BOS. In Tactics, they are building a very powerful nation-state. Using their bunkers to control territory that includes settlements and tribal villages. The BOS protects them from raiders, mutants and hostile tribes in exchange for recruits and resources. Also, unlike every other version of the BOS, the Midwest BOS actually recruits non-hostile super mutants and ghouls. They also have reformed tribals/raiders and can even get talking deathclaws among their ranks. I also appreciate how utilitarian the Midwest BOS are in that they use anything they can get. Conventional weapons and armor included. They reserve their power armor for only the most elite units and honestly it's pretty damn kickass. It's obvious that Bethesda were inspired by the Midwest power armor for the design of Enclave power armor in Fallout 3.
(don't kill me) Fallout Brotherhood of Steel: The Texas Chapter of the BOS. I don't know too much about these guys. But they were a expedition formed by Rhombus to hunt down and exterminate the remnants of the Master's army that had headed east. More specifically, Attis. The game is stupid and the expedition is kind of stupid, but they do have a cool logo at least. Good thing it's completely non-canon.
Fallout 3: Lyon's BOS. Also known as the "power armored boy and girl scouts". Criticize all you want, but like the Midwest BOS, Lyon's BOS was taking a step in the right direction compared to the west coast. Recruiting outsiders, protecting people and not ostrocizing communities is what allowed the east coast BOS to not only survive, but also flourish. In Fallout 3, the BOS are instrumental in stopping both the super mutants and Enclave from completely dominating the capital wasteland and it's inhabitants. Arguebly, the most morally good version of the BOS in any Fallout game to date.
Fallout New Vegas: Back to the west coast BOS and specifically the Mojave chapter. By the events of New Vegas, the west coast BOS are a shell of their former selves. In a losing war with the growing NCR, the BOS are sheltered and have turned even more inward leading to a serious distrust of outsiders. Veronica is pretty much 100% right that the west coast BOS are in a slow death. What I do like about the Mojave chapter is how they are basically mirroring the natural course that the west coast BOS are following if they continue to ostrocize others. But like Fallout 2, they are more of a minor faction.
Fallout 4: With the Midwest BOS (as depicted in Tactics) being non-canon, the east coast BOS under Maxson are probably the most powerful version of the BOS. Very similar to the aforementioned Midwest BOS as well with the exception of not recruiting non-humans. A fusion of east coast and west coast ideals. I like this version of the BOS for the same reasons that I like the Midwest BOS. Maxson's BOS are in the process of building a nation-state. Whether they realize it or not. Allowing outsiders, exchanging their protection for recruits and resources, protecting humanity from threats and not just coveting technology. The east coast BOS are also an industrial powerhouse. It wouldn't surprise me if the east coast BOS end up carving out their own little empire.
Fallout 76: I only played Fallout 76 at release, so I'm not familar with all the updates that have happened and know very little about the Applachia chapter. All I can gather is that the original Brotherhood in Applachia were destroyed by the Scorched and the BOS sent an expedition from the west coast to investigate. Under orders from Roger Maxson. I think they share a lot of similarities as the Texas expedition. They aren't interested in controling Applachia. They have a mission objective and seek to fulfill it. Their lack of any presence in Fallout 3 or Fallout 4 lead me to believe that they are wiped out or head back west by the events of Fallout 3. Of course, they aren't mentioned in either of these games since the idea of a West Virginia BOS hadn't been conceived yet, but its the only explanation that makes any sense beyond real world reasons.
Please feel free to elaborate!
submitted by --Cr1imsoN-- to Fallout [link] [comments]
Fallout 2: They barely exist as a presence in this game. Just a handful of bunkers in northern California. They do help the Chosen One get to the Enclave to blow up the oil rig though. I still think it's fair to include them though. Like in New Vegas, they are something of a minor faction in Fallout 2.
Fallout Tactics: My personal favorite. Even though 99% of the game is non-canon, the Midwest BOS are kind of what I see happening with the east-coast BOS. In Tactics, they are building a very powerful nation-state. Using their bunkers to control territory that includes settlements and tribal villages. The BOS protects them from raiders, mutants and hostile tribes in exchange for recruits and resources. Also, unlike every other version of the BOS, the Midwest BOS actually recruits non-hostile super mutants and ghouls. They also have reformed tribals/raiders and can even get talking deathclaws among their ranks. I also appreciate how utilitarian the Midwest BOS are in that they use anything they can get. Conventional weapons and armor included. They reserve their power armor for only the most elite units and honestly it's pretty damn kickass. It's obvious that Bethesda were inspired by the Midwest power armor for the design of Enclave power armor in Fallout 3.
(don't kill me) Fallout Brotherhood of Steel: The Texas Chapter of the BOS. I don't know too much about these guys. But they were a expedition formed by Rhombus to hunt down and exterminate the remnants of the Master's army that had headed east. More specifically, Attis. The game is stupid and the expedition is kind of stupid, but they do have a cool logo at least. Good thing it's completely non-canon.
Fallout 3: Lyon's BOS. Also known as the "power armored boy and girl scouts". Criticize all you want, but like the Midwest BOS, Lyon's BOS was taking a step in the right direction compared to the west coast. Recruiting outsiders, protecting people and not ostrocizing communities is what allowed the east coast BOS to not only survive, but also flourish. In Fallout 3, the BOS are instrumental in stopping both the super mutants and Enclave from completely dominating the capital wasteland and it's inhabitants. Arguebly, the most morally good version of the BOS in any Fallout game to date.
Fallout New Vegas: Back to the west coast BOS and specifically the Mojave chapter. By the events of New Vegas, the west coast BOS are a shell of their former selves. In a losing war with the growing NCR, the BOS are sheltered and have turned even more inward leading to a serious distrust of outsiders. Veronica is pretty much 100% right that the west coast BOS are in a slow death. What I do like about the Mojave chapter is how they are basically mirroring the natural course that the west coast BOS are following if they continue to ostrocize others. But like Fallout 2, they are more of a minor faction.
Fallout 4: With the Midwest BOS (as depicted in Tactics) being non-canon, the east coast BOS under Maxson are probably the most powerful version of the BOS. Very similar to the aforementioned Midwest BOS as well with the exception of not recruiting non-humans. A fusion of east coast and west coast ideals. I like this version of the BOS for the same reasons that I like the Midwest BOS. Maxson's BOS are in the process of building a nation-state. Whether they realize it or not. Allowing outsiders, exchanging their protection for recruits and resources, protecting humanity from threats and not just coveting technology. The east coast BOS are also an industrial powerhouse. It wouldn't surprise me if the east coast BOS end up carving out their own little empire.
Fallout 76: I only played Fallout 76 at release, so I'm not familar with all the updates that have happened and know very little about the Applachia chapter. All I can gather is that the original Brotherhood in Applachia were destroyed by the Scorched and the BOS sent an expedition from the west coast to investigate. Under orders from Roger Maxson. I think they share a lot of similarities as the Texas expedition. They aren't interested in controling Applachia. They have a mission objective and seek to fulfill it. Their lack of any presence in Fallout 3 or Fallout 4 lead me to believe that they are wiped out or head back west by the events of Fallout 3. Of course, they aren't mentioned in either of these games since the idea of a West Virginia BOS hadn't been conceived yet, but its the only explanation that makes any sense beyond real world reasons.
Please feel free to elaborate!
2023.04.06 07:15 wsppan Today In Phishstory - April 6th
# Today In Phishstory - April 6th Brought to you by tiph-bot. Beep.
All data extracted via The Phishnet API.
Phish, Wednesday 04/06/1994 (29 years ago) Concert Hall, Toronto, Ontario, , Canada
Gap Chart, Tour: 1994 Spring Tour
Set 1 : Llama , Guelah Papyrus , Poor Heart , Stash , The Lizards , Sample in a Jar , Scent of a Mule , Fee -> Run Like an Antelope
Set 2 : The Curtain > Down with Disease , Wolfman's Brother , Sparkle > Mike's Song -> Lifeboy > Weekapaug Groove 1 , The Squirming Coil , Cavern
Encore : Ginseng Sullivan 2 , Nellie Kane 2 , Sweet Adeline 3
1 Vocal jam. 2 Acoustic; without microphones. 3 Without microphones.
Jamchart Notes:
Stash - "Stash" starts off '94 in a jarring, intense manner, seems to peak, then breaks into a 2nd, really excellent improvisational section.
Down with Disease - Trey is just ON FIRE! A thrilling, albeit straight-up "Type I" version.
Mike's Song - Awesome and very unique version in which the 1st jam is the centerpiece of the improvisation. The jam slips away from typical "Mike's" into a repetive motif, which then breaks into nice melodic play that grows increasingly tense. Then the jam picks up a rocking head of steam. The 2nd jam adds color with great "Tweeprise"-like jamming. A kick ass version for a surprisingly mediocre year for "Mike's."
Show Notes:
Weekapaug contained a vocal jam. Ginseng Sullivan and Nellie Kane were performed acoustic and, along with Sweet Adeline, without microphones. This show was originally scheduled for The Palladium and was relocated at the last minute due to damage to that venue from the previous evening's New Kids on the Block concert.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Phish, Monday 04/06/1992 (31 years ago) Paul Wright Gym, Western State College, Gunnison, CO, USA
Gap Chart, Tour: 1992 Spring Tour
Set 1 : Suzy Greenberg , Foam , Sparkle , Reba , Brother , Esther > Chalk Dust Torture , Guelah Papyrus , The Squirming Coil > Run Like an Antelope
Set 2 : Dinner and a Movie > Bathtub Gin , Paul and Silas , Mike's Song > I Am Hydrogen > Weekapaug Groove , NICU , Llama , Mound , Stash , Cold as Ice > Cracklin' Rosie > Cold as Ice , Uncle Pen , Cavern 1
Encore : Big Black Furry Creature from Mars 2
1 Segments performed bluegrass style. Trey altered lyrics to "take care of your boots" and referenced a hoedown. 2 Make Your Own Guacamole jam, during which the audience made guacamole from band-supplied avocados.
Jamchart Notes:
Mike's Song - In the first section, Trey opts for a more melodic jam, which become very rocking and driving. Fish and Trey add exclamation to this sentiment in the brief 2nd jam.
Show Notes:
Sparkle was dedicated to "Donna." Trey teased Rhythm-A-Ning in Antelope. Trey announced before Cavern that the band would play a bit more bluegrass; therefore, segments of Cavern were performed in a bluegrass style. Also, Trey altered the Cavern lyrics to "take care of your boots" and referenced a hoedown. BBFCFM included a We're Off to See the Wizard tease and a Make Your Own Guacamole jam, during which the audience made guacamole from band-supplied avocados because the band joked that their traditional post-show guacamole was not supplied.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Phish, Saturday 04/06/1991 (32 years ago) Campus Rec Center, Olympia, WA, USA
Gap Chart, Tour: 1991 WinteSpring Tour
Set 1 : The Man Who Stepped Into Yesterday > Avenu Malkenu > The Man Who Stepped Into Yesterday > Tweezer > Esther > The Oh Kee Pa Ceremony > AC/DC Bag , Fluffhead > Tweezer Reprise
Set 2 : Ya Mar , Split Open and Melt , Runaway Jim , Magilla > Llama , You Enjoy Myself , Bathtub Gin , Icculus , Run Like an Antelope , Hold Your Head Up > Terrapin > Hold Your Head Up , Possum
Encore : Jesus Just Left Chicago > Alumni Blues > Letter to Jimmy Page > Alumni Blues
Jamchart Notes:
Magilla - "Magilla" in inverse, with Page in the lead-off solo position and Trey adding fills. The two swap roles, and fantastic playing ensues. Everyone is on point, and everyone solos. Sunny. Bright.
Show Notes:
Trey teased The Irish Washerwoman prior to Ya Mar, which subsequently contained a Woody Woodpecker theme tease from Trey. Icculus was played for the first time since August 12, 1989 (236 shows).
Listen now at Phish.in!
Phish, Friday 04/06/1990 (33 years ago) El Dorado Café, Crested Butte, CO, USA
Gap Chart, Tour: 1990 Tour
Set 1 : Cavern , You Enjoy Myself , Uncle Pen , Rhombus Narration > Divided Sky , Ya Mar , Dinner and a Movie > Bouncing Around the Room , The Oh Kee Pa Ceremony > Suzy Greenberg > Run Like an Antelope
Set 2 : Carolina , La Grange , Esther > The Sloth , Harry Hood , Caravan , Reba , I Didn't Know , Alumni Blues 1 > Letter to Jimmy Page > Alumni Blues , Good Times Bad Times
Encore : Jesus Just Left Chicago , Highway to Hell
1 Additional lyrics.
Show Notes:
Alumni contained additional lyrics.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Phish, 1988-04-06 Gallagher's, Waitsfield, VT, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/phish-april-06-1988-gallaghers-waitsfield-vt-usa.html
Tour: 1988 Tour
Show Notes:
Phish, Saturday 04/06/1985 (38 years ago) Finbar's, Burlington, VT, USA
Gap Chart, Tour: 1985 Tour
Set 1 : I Am Hydrogen 1 , Don't Want You No More , Cities , Wild Child , Slave to the Traffic Light , Jam , Alumni Blues > Letter to Jimmy Page 1 > Alumni Blues > Mike's Song 2 > Dave's Energy Guide 1 , Big Leg Emma 3 , Revolution 1 , Anarchy , I Wish 3 , Camel Walk , Run Like an Antelope 1
Set 2 : McGrupp and the Watchful Hosemasters 4 > Makisupa Policeman
Set 3 : Quinn the Eskimo (The Mighty Quinn) 3
1 First known performance. 2 Vocal section at the end with lyrics to the effect of "Life is not what it seems." 3 First known Phish performance. 4 First known performance. Narrated rather than sung.
Jamchart Notes:
McGrupp and the Watchful Hosemasters - Debut. The lyrics are narrated by Trey, rather than sung, and Page had not yet joined the band. A fairly intense, mostly straightforward Jeff and Trey guitar jam follows the lyrical section. (Circulates as filler on 3/4/85 Hunt's).
Show Notes:
This show was a benefit for Tools for Peace and Justice in Central America and featured the first known performances of Hydrogen, Revolution, and McGrupp and the first known Phish performances of Big Leg Emma and Quinn the Eskimo. The jam after Slave may have been Back Porch Boogie Blues. The end of Mike's Song contained a vocal section with lyrics to the effect of "Life is not what it seems." Revolution was dedicated to Anne Labrusciano and Trey explained it used to be entitled "Leunig's Sucks" but now it's entitled "Revolution". Run Like An Antelope was introduced by Trey as "Run Like an Antelope Out of Control". McGrupp And The Watchful Hosemasters was narrated rather than sung. If the 2/1/85 setlist is not correct for that date, then this show featured the first known performances of Letter to Jimmy Page, Dave's Energy Guide, and Run Like an Antelope.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Ghosts of the Forest, 2019-04-06 The Anthem, Washington, DC, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/trey-anastasio-april-06-2019-the-anthem-washington-dc-usa.html
Tour: Not Part of a Tour
Show Notes: The Intro that debuted at this show was the second prerecorded piano intro played over the PA to debut on the Ghosts of the Forest tour.
Mike Gordon, 2014-04-06 Higher Ground, South Burlington, VT, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/mike-gordon-april-06-2014-higher-ground-south-burlington-vt-usa.html
Tour: Mike Gordon - Spring 2014 Overstep Tour
Show Notes: 555 featured Page on keyboards and Fish on drums.
Pork Tornado, 2001-04-06 The Paradise, Boston, MA, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/jon-fishman-april-06-2001-the-paradise-boston-ma-usa.html
Tour: Fish - Pork Tornado Spring 2001
Show Notes:
Pork Tornado, 2000-04-06 Milestones, Rochester, NY, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/jon-fishman-april-06-2000-milestones-rochester-ny-usa.html
Tour: Fish - Pork Tornado Spring 2000
Show Notes:
Pork Tornado, 1999-04-06 The Paradise, Boston, MA, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/jon-fishman-april-06-1999-the-paradise-boston-ma-usa.html
Tour: Fish - Pork Tornado Spring 1999
Show Notes: There is no known setlist for this show and recordings do not circulate.
Benevento/Russo Duo, 2006-04-06 Higher Ground, South Burlington, VT, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/guest-appearance-april-06-2006-higher-ground-south-burlington-vt-usa.html
Tour: Not Part of a Tour
Show Notes: Fish joined the Duo for "The Three Question Marks," prompting Marco to remark, "We've successfully played with all four of them now." "Mike's Song" featured Mike, Fish and Brad Barr and contained "Wilson" and "Third Stone From the Sun" teases. Jamie Masefield and Mike Mavridoglou joined for the ensuing jam, which also featured "Weekapaug" and "L.A. Woman" teases. Earlier in the show, Brad Barr sat in on "Sunny's Song," "Mephisto" and "What Is and What Should Never Be."
submitted by wsppan to phish [link] [comments]
All data extracted via The Phishnet API.
Phish
Gap Chart, Tour: 1994 Spring Tour
Set 1 : Llama , Guelah Papyrus , Poor Heart , Stash , The Lizards , Sample in a Jar , Scent of a Mule , Fee -> Run Like an Antelope
Set 2 : The Curtain > Down with Disease , Wolfman's Brother , Sparkle > Mike's Song -> Lifeboy > Weekapaug Groove 1 , The Squirming Coil , Cavern
Encore : Ginseng Sullivan 2 , Nellie Kane 2 , Sweet Adeline 3
1 Vocal jam. 2 Acoustic; without microphones. 3 Without microphones.
Jamchart Notes:
Stash - "Stash" starts off '94 in a jarring, intense manner, seems to peak, then breaks into a 2nd, really excellent improvisational section.
Down with Disease - Trey is just ON FIRE! A thrilling, albeit straight-up "Type I" version.
Mike's Song - Awesome and very unique version in which the 1st jam is the centerpiece of the improvisation. The jam slips away from typical "Mike's" into a repetive motif, which then breaks into nice melodic play that grows increasingly tense. Then the jam picks up a rocking head of steam. The 2nd jam adds color with great "Tweeprise"-like jamming. A kick ass version for a surprisingly mediocre year for "Mike's."
Show Notes:
Weekapaug contained a vocal jam. Ginseng Sullivan and Nellie Kane were performed acoustic and, along with Sweet Adeline, without microphones. This show was originally scheduled for The Palladium and was relocated at the last minute due to damage to that venue from the previous evening's New Kids on the Block concert.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Gap Chart, Tour: 1992 Spring Tour
Set 1 : Suzy Greenberg , Foam , Sparkle , Reba , Brother , Esther > Chalk Dust Torture , Guelah Papyrus , The Squirming Coil > Run Like an Antelope
Set 2 : Dinner and a Movie > Bathtub Gin , Paul and Silas , Mike's Song > I Am Hydrogen > Weekapaug Groove , NICU , Llama , Mound , Stash , Cold as Ice > Cracklin' Rosie > Cold as Ice , Uncle Pen , Cavern 1
Encore : Big Black Furry Creature from Mars 2
1 Segments performed bluegrass style. Trey altered lyrics to "take care of your boots" and referenced a hoedown. 2 Make Your Own Guacamole jam, during which the audience made guacamole from band-supplied avocados.
Jamchart Notes:
Mike's Song - In the first section, Trey opts for a more melodic jam, which become very rocking and driving. Fish and Trey add exclamation to this sentiment in the brief 2nd jam.
Show Notes:
Sparkle was dedicated to "Donna." Trey teased Rhythm-A-Ning in Antelope. Trey announced before Cavern that the band would play a bit more bluegrass; therefore, segments of Cavern were performed in a bluegrass style. Also, Trey altered the Cavern lyrics to "take care of your boots" and referenced a hoedown. BBFCFM included a We're Off to See the Wizard tease and a Make Your Own Guacamole jam, during which the audience made guacamole from band-supplied avocados because the band joked that their traditional post-show guacamole was not supplied.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Gap Chart, Tour: 1991 WinteSpring Tour
Set 1 : The Man Who Stepped Into Yesterday > Avenu Malkenu > The Man Who Stepped Into Yesterday > Tweezer > Esther > The Oh Kee Pa Ceremony > AC/DC Bag , Fluffhead > Tweezer Reprise
Set 2 : Ya Mar , Split Open and Melt , Runaway Jim , Magilla > Llama , You Enjoy Myself , Bathtub Gin , Icculus , Run Like an Antelope , Hold Your Head Up > Terrapin > Hold Your Head Up , Possum
Encore : Jesus Just Left Chicago > Alumni Blues > Letter to Jimmy Page > Alumni Blues
Jamchart Notes:
Magilla - "Magilla" in inverse, with Page in the lead-off solo position and Trey adding fills. The two swap roles, and fantastic playing ensues. Everyone is on point, and everyone solos. Sunny. Bright.
Show Notes:
Trey teased The Irish Washerwoman prior to Ya Mar, which subsequently contained a Woody Woodpecker theme tease from Trey. Icculus was played for the first time since August 12, 1989 (236 shows).
Listen now at Phish.in!
Gap Chart, Tour: 1990 Tour
Set 1 : Cavern , You Enjoy Myself , Uncle Pen , Rhombus Narration > Divided Sky , Ya Mar , Dinner and a Movie > Bouncing Around the Room , The Oh Kee Pa Ceremony > Suzy Greenberg > Run Like an Antelope
Set 2 : Carolina , La Grange , Esther > The Sloth , Harry Hood , Caravan , Reba , I Didn't Know , Alumni Blues 1 > Letter to Jimmy Page > Alumni Blues , Good Times Bad Times
Encore : Jesus Just Left Chicago , Highway to Hell
1 Additional lyrics.
Show Notes:
Alumni contained additional lyrics.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/phish-april-06-1988-gallaghers-waitsfield-vt-usa.html
Tour: 1988 Tour
Show Notes:
Gap Chart, Tour: 1985 Tour
Set 1 : I Am Hydrogen 1 , Don't Want You No More , Cities , Wild Child , Slave to the Traffic Light , Jam , Alumni Blues > Letter to Jimmy Page 1 > Alumni Blues > Mike's Song 2 > Dave's Energy Guide 1 , Big Leg Emma 3 , Revolution 1 , Anarchy , I Wish 3 , Camel Walk , Run Like an Antelope 1
Set 2 : McGrupp and the Watchful Hosemasters 4 > Makisupa Policeman
Set 3 : Quinn the Eskimo (The Mighty Quinn) 3
1 First known performance. 2 Vocal section at the end with lyrics to the effect of "Life is not what it seems." 3 First known Phish performance. 4 First known performance. Narrated rather than sung.
Jamchart Notes:
McGrupp and the Watchful Hosemasters - Debut. The lyrics are narrated by Trey, rather than sung, and Page had not yet joined the band. A fairly intense, mostly straightforward Jeff and Trey guitar jam follows the lyrical section. (Circulates as filler on 3/4/85 Hunt's).
Show Notes:
This show was a benefit for Tools for Peace and Justice in Central America and featured the first known performances of Hydrogen, Revolution, and McGrupp and the first known Phish performances of Big Leg Emma and Quinn the Eskimo. The jam after Slave may have been Back Porch Boogie Blues. The end of Mike's Song contained a vocal section with lyrics to the effect of "Life is not what it seems." Revolution was dedicated to Anne Labrusciano and Trey explained it used to be entitled "Leunig's Sucks" but now it's entitled "Revolution". Run Like An Antelope was introduced by Trey as "Run Like an Antelope Out of Control". McGrupp And The Watchful Hosemasters was narrated rather than sung. If the 2/1/85 setlist is not correct for that date, then this show featured the first known performances of Letter to Jimmy Page, Dave's Energy Guide, and Run Like an Antelope.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Trey Anastasio
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/trey-anastasio-april-06-2019-the-anthem-washington-dc-usa.html
Tour: Not Part of a Tour
Show Notes: The Intro that debuted at this show was the second prerecorded piano intro played over the PA to debut on the Ghosts of the Forest tour.
Mike Gordon
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/mike-gordon-april-06-2014-higher-ground-south-burlington-vt-usa.html
Tour: Mike Gordon - Spring 2014 Overstep Tour
Show Notes: 555 featured Page on keyboards and Fish on drums.
John Fishman
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/jon-fishman-april-06-2001-the-paradise-boston-ma-usa.html
Tour: Fish - Pork Tornado Spring 2001
Show Notes:
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/jon-fishman-april-06-2000-milestones-rochester-ny-usa.html
Tour: Fish - Pork Tornado Spring 2000
Show Notes:
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/jon-fishman-april-06-1999-the-paradise-boston-ma-usa.html
Tour: Fish - Pork Tornado Spring 1999
Show Notes: There is no known setlist for this show and recordings do not circulate.
Other
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/guest-appearance-april-06-2006-higher-ground-south-burlington-vt-usa.html
Tour: Not Part of a Tour
Show Notes: Fish joined the Duo for "The Three Question Marks," prompting Marco to remark, "We've successfully played with all four of them now." "Mike's Song" featured Mike, Fish and Brad Barr and contained "Wilson" and "Third Stone From the Sun" teases. Jamie Masefield and Mike Mavridoglou joined for the ensuing jam, which also featured "Weekapaug" and "L.A. Woman" teases. Earlier in the show, Brad Barr sat in on "Sunny's Song," "Mephisto" and "What Is and What Should Never Be."
2023.04.04 07:15 wsppan Today In Phishstory - April 4th
# Today In Phishstory - April 4th Brought to you by tiph-bot. Beep.
All data extracted via The Phishnet API.
Phish, Saturday 04/04/1998 (25 years ago) Providence Civic Center, Providence, RI, USA
Gap Chart, Tour: 1998 Island Tour
Set 1 : Tweezer > Taste , Bouncing Around the Room , Funky Bitch , Ginseng Sullivan , Limb By Limb , Lawn Boy , Character Zero
Set 2 : Birds of a Feather > Also Sprach Zarathustra 1 > Brother 2 , Ghost -> The Lizards , David Bowie
Encore : Harry Hood
1 Unfinished. 2 With short instrumental reprise.
Jamchart Notes:
Tweezer - Some wonderful space-funk evolves into stellar, full-band, magnificent improv. Another version I underrated in the 1990s.
Taste - Mike doesn't get a lot of mention on this chart, but he is really rock solid here, underpinning the harmonic base off of which Trey and Page shine. Still, this version doesn't have quite the "extra mustard" of many '97 versions.
Birds of a Feather - Elongated and groovy version suggests several possible future jamming directions while never straying too far from "Birds" itself.
Also Sprach Zarathustra - Haunting intro and a grooving minimalist first jam. Trey pounces at the 9 minute mark and another Island Tour masterpiece is created.
Brother - > in from "2001." About 4:38 into the conventional "Brother," this one departs into a great, funky jam. Way beyond the standard, it nonetheless builds in tension and dissonance as the jam progresses. Includes a brief "DEG" tease. After the song, the band played a brief "radio friendly" reprise.
Show Notes:
In a nod to the previous show, Trey said "Carini's gonna get you" in Lawn Boy. 2001 contained a Long Train Runnin' tease from Trey and was unfinished. Brother included a brief Dave's Energy Guide tease and was followed by a short instrumental reprise, which was announced as the "radio-friendly version." Trey contrasted this with the normal version, which was deemed un-radio-friendly due to its length. Ghost, which Trey jokingly remarked was also not radio-friendly because it is long and slow, included an I Can't Turn You Loose tease. This show is available as an archival release on LivePhish.com.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Phish, Monday 04/04/1994 (29 years ago) The Flynn Theatre, Burlington, VT, USA
Gap Chart, Tour: 1994 Spring Tour
Set 1 : Divided Sky , Sample in a Jar , Scent of a Mule 1 , Maze , Fee > Reba , Horn > It's Ice > Possum
Set 2 : Down with Disease 1 > If I Could 1 , Buried Alive 2 , The Landlady 2 , Julius 3 , Magilla 4 , Split Open and Melt 2 , Wolfman's Brother 3 > I Wan'na Be Like You 5 , The Oh Kee Pa Ceremony > Suzy Greenberg 6
Encore : Harry Hood , Cavern 7
1 Debut. 2 Giant Country Horns. 3 Debut; Giant Country Horns. 4 Giant Country Horns; more of a shuffle beat than usual. [5] Phish debut; Giant Country Horns. [6] Giant Country Horns; horn introductions. [7] Old lyrics. Carl Gerhard on trumpet.
Jamchart Notes:
Scent of a Mule - Debut includes a Page solo followed by the familiar klezmer style riff as the whole band accelerates the riff until Mike starts howling, indicating a return to the lyrics.
Reba - Following a few flubs in the first "Reba" of 1994, Trey blasts on through the composed section and modulates intensity. After teaming up with Mike to tease "A-Hunting We Will Go," super soloing dominates the version - listen for Page syncing up to develop extended "Batman Theme Song" teasing - which becomes wonderfully syncopated, with plucky guitar offset by dynamic Fish. This builds into a "heavy metal" sort of frenzy, with the playing becoming exceedingly, and exceptionally crazy, before the jam spikes to a pointed peak.
It's Ice - "Hey Bulldog" teases during an extended jam. Page led at first, but it becomes a full band rocker.
Down with Disease - Debut of the complete song.
Julius - Debut with the Giant Country Horns. Played at a slightly faster tempo than most subsequent versions. Establishes precedent for this song to be a pretty intense, raging one. SBD available on the "Spreadsheet."
Magilla - Incredible, fantastic version. While the Giant Country Horns add an undeniable boost to this powerhouse version, it is Jon Fishman who fuels this colorful rendition, arguably more notable for its scuttling, shuffling beat than the addition of trumpet, sax, or trombone. The version you take to your desert island.
Wolfman's Brother - Debut with the Giant Country Horns. The song was played in a lower key throughout 1994 than all versions from 1995 to present. The jam includes a great horn-infused "Alumni Blues" jam.
Harry Hood - Jam starts with a beautiful, flowing section with great Page and Mike. Then Trey and Fish kick things up several notches.
Show Notes:
This show, a benefit for The Flynn Theatre, featured many debuts, including Scent of a Mule, If I Could, Wolfman's Brother, Julius, and the full Down with Disease. I Wan'na Be Like You also made its Phish debut. The show kicked off with an a cappella line of Back In My Hometown. Reba contained A-Hunting We Will Go teases from Trey and Mike and It's Ice contained Hey Bulldog (Beatles) teases. Buried Alive through I Wan'na Be Like You and Suzy Greenberg featured The Giant Country Horns: Mike Gallick on baritone sax, Carl "Geerz" Gerhard on trumpet, Dave "The Truth" Grippo on alto sax, Don Glasgo on trombone, Chris Peterman on tenor sax, and Joey Sommerville on trumpet. Magilla was played slightly differently than most versions, with more of a shuffle beat. Wolfman's contained an Alumni Blues jam. Suzy contained Horn introductions and a HYHU tease from Page. Before and after Hood, Trey updated the crowd on the score of the Duke - Arkansas NCAA championship basketball game. Cavern, which contained the old, alternate lyrics, featured Gerhard on trumpet.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Phish, Saturday 04/04/1992 (31 years ago) Balch Fieldhouse, Boulder, CO, USA
Gap Chart, Tour: 1992 Spring Tour
Set 1 : Runaway Jim , Foam , Reba , Uncle Pen , Chalk Dust Torture , Bouncing Around the Room , It's Ice , Sparkle > The Lizards , I Didn't Know 1 , Run Like an Antelope
Set 2 : Mike's Song > I Am Hydrogen > Weekapaug Groove , Glide > My Friend, My Friend , The Squirming Coil , Tweezer > Cold as Ice > Cracklin' Rosie > Cold as Ice , Buried Alive > My Sweet One , Harpua 2 , Cavern
Encore : Sleeping Monkey > Tweezer Reprise
1 Fish on trombone. 2 Fish on bagpipes.
Jamchart Notes:
Run Like an Antelope - Unusual and improvisational jam works its way back to blistering standard "Antelope" fare.
Show Notes:
I Didn't Know featured Fish on trombone. Harpua featured Fish on bagpipes and included a Fire tease.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Phish, Thursday 04/04/1991 (32 years ago) WOW Hall, Eugene, OR, USA
Gap Chart, Tour: 1991 WinteSpring Tour
Set 1 : The Oh Kee Pa Ceremony > Suzy Greenberg , You Enjoy Myself , The Squirming Coil > Llama > Colonel Forbin's Ascent > Fly Famous Mockingbird , Possum , Carolina , Golgi Apparatus
Set 2 : The Curtain > Runaway Jim , Guelah Papyrus , David Bowie , Lawn Boy > The Landlady , My Sweet One > Divided Sky , Hold Your Head Up > Love You 1 > Hold Your Head Up > Big Black Furry Creature from Mars
Encore : Magilla > Highway to Hell
Encore 2 : Contact > Uncle Pen
1 Band introductions.
Jamchart Notes:
David Bowie - An upward spiraling, malevolent jam, as demented as they get, eventually gives way to insane shredding by Big Red.
Show Notes:
The Bowie intro contained I Dream of Jeannie theme teases from Page. Before Love You, which included band introductions, Fish noted that his backup Mighty Mite vacuum has the same suction per inch as his broken Electrolux (which he acknowledged as "the greatest vacuum of all").
Listen now at Phish.in!
Phish, Wednesday 04/04/1990 (33 years ago) Quigley's, University of Colorado, Boulder, CO, USA
Gap Chart, Tour: 1990 Tour
Set 1 : Golgi Apparatus , You Enjoy Myself > Walk Away , Take the 'A' Train , Possum , Foam , Rhombus Narration > Divided Sky , Carolina
Set 2 : Mike's Song > I Am Hydrogen > Weekapaug Groove , Esther > Uncle Pen , The Sloth , The Lizards , I Didn't Know , Good Times Bad Times
Encore : Contact , Highway to Hell
Show Notes:
YEM contained a Sailor's Hornpipe tease, 'A' Train included a Woody Woodpecker theme tease, 'A' Train was teased in Possum, and Wilson was teased in the Rhombus Narration. I Didn't Know was dedicated to "George" and the second verse of Contact was dedicated to "Eli" for his birthday.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Ghosts of the Forest, 2019-04-04 State Theatre, Portland, ME, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/trey-anastasio-april-04-2019-state-theatre-portland-me-usa.html
Tour: Not Part of a Tour
Show Notes: This show was the first performance of Trey's Ghosts in the Forest project. All songs were debuts except for Ruby Waves, which was performed for the first time since October 19, 2008. Intro was a prerecorded piano intro played over the PA. Wider contained a When the Saints Go Marching In tease from Trey.
Mike Gordon, 2018-04-04 Higher Ground, South Burlington, VT, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/mike-gordon-april-04-2018-higher-ground-south-burlington-vt-usa.html
Tour: Not Part of a Tour
Show Notes:
Mike Gordon, 2014-04-04 Tarrytown Music Hall, Tarrytown, NY, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/mike-gordon-april-04-2014-tarrytown-music-hall-tarrytown-ny-usa.html
Tour: Mike Gordon - Spring 2014 Overstep Tour
Show Notes: Trey Anastasio sat in on guitar for Cities and Tiny Little World.
Pork Tornado, 2000-04-04 The Wetlands Preserve, New York, NY, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/jon-fishman-april-04-2000-the-wetlands-preserve-new-york-ny-usa.html
Tour: Fish - Pork Tornado Spring 2000
Show Notes:
Page McConnell, 2007-04-04 The Gramercy Theatre, New York, NY, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/page-mcconnell-april-04-2007-the-gramercy-theatre-new-york-ny-usa.html
Tour: Page McConnell Spring & Summer 2007 Tour
Show Notes: Page performed "Strange Design" solo on piano.
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Phish
Gap Chart, Tour: 1998 Island Tour
Set 1 : Tweezer > Taste , Bouncing Around the Room , Funky Bitch , Ginseng Sullivan , Limb By Limb , Lawn Boy , Character Zero
Set 2 : Birds of a Feather > Also Sprach Zarathustra 1 > Brother 2 , Ghost -> The Lizards , David Bowie
Encore : Harry Hood
1 Unfinished. 2 With short instrumental reprise.
Jamchart Notes:
Tweezer - Some wonderful space-funk evolves into stellar, full-band, magnificent improv. Another version I underrated in the 1990s.
Taste - Mike doesn't get a lot of mention on this chart, but he is really rock solid here, underpinning the harmonic base off of which Trey and Page shine. Still, this version doesn't have quite the "extra mustard" of many '97 versions.
Birds of a Feather - Elongated and groovy version suggests several possible future jamming directions while never straying too far from "Birds" itself.
Also Sprach Zarathustra - Haunting intro and a grooving minimalist first jam. Trey pounces at the 9 minute mark and another Island Tour masterpiece is created.
Brother - > in from "2001." About 4:38 into the conventional "Brother," this one departs into a great, funky jam. Way beyond the standard, it nonetheless builds in tension and dissonance as the jam progresses. Includes a brief "DEG" tease. After the song, the band played a brief "radio friendly" reprise.
Show Notes:
In a nod to the previous show, Trey said "Carini's gonna get you" in Lawn Boy. 2001 contained a Long Train Runnin' tease from Trey and was unfinished. Brother included a brief Dave's Energy Guide tease and was followed by a short instrumental reprise, which was announced as the "radio-friendly version." Trey contrasted this with the normal version, which was deemed un-radio-friendly due to its length. Ghost, which Trey jokingly remarked was also not radio-friendly because it is long and slow, included an I Can't Turn You Loose tease. This show is available as an archival release on LivePhish.com.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Gap Chart, Tour: 1994 Spring Tour
Set 1 : Divided Sky , Sample in a Jar , Scent of a Mule 1 , Maze , Fee > Reba , Horn > It's Ice > Possum
Set 2 : Down with Disease 1 > If I Could 1 , Buried Alive 2 , The Landlady 2 , Julius 3 , Magilla 4 , Split Open and Melt 2 , Wolfman's Brother 3 > I Wan'na Be Like You 5 , The Oh Kee Pa Ceremony > Suzy Greenberg 6
Encore : Harry Hood , Cavern 7
1 Debut. 2 Giant Country Horns. 3 Debut; Giant Country Horns. 4 Giant Country Horns; more of a shuffle beat than usual. [5] Phish debut; Giant Country Horns. [6] Giant Country Horns; horn introductions. [7] Old lyrics. Carl Gerhard on trumpet.
Jamchart Notes:
Scent of a Mule - Debut includes a Page solo followed by the familiar klezmer style riff as the whole band accelerates the riff until Mike starts howling, indicating a return to the lyrics.
Reba - Following a few flubs in the first "Reba" of 1994, Trey blasts on through the composed section and modulates intensity. After teaming up with Mike to tease "A-Hunting We Will Go," super soloing dominates the version - listen for Page syncing up to develop extended "Batman Theme Song" teasing - which becomes wonderfully syncopated, with plucky guitar offset by dynamic Fish. This builds into a "heavy metal" sort of frenzy, with the playing becoming exceedingly, and exceptionally crazy, before the jam spikes to a pointed peak.
It's Ice - "Hey Bulldog" teases during an extended jam. Page led at first, but it becomes a full band rocker.
Down with Disease - Debut of the complete song.
Julius - Debut with the Giant Country Horns. Played at a slightly faster tempo than most subsequent versions. Establishes precedent for this song to be a pretty intense, raging one. SBD available on the "Spreadsheet."
Magilla - Incredible, fantastic version. While the Giant Country Horns add an undeniable boost to this powerhouse version, it is Jon Fishman who fuels this colorful rendition, arguably more notable for its scuttling, shuffling beat than the addition of trumpet, sax, or trombone. The version you take to your desert island.
Wolfman's Brother - Debut with the Giant Country Horns. The song was played in a lower key throughout 1994 than all versions from 1995 to present. The jam includes a great horn-infused "Alumni Blues" jam.
Harry Hood - Jam starts with a beautiful, flowing section with great Page and Mike. Then Trey and Fish kick things up several notches.
Show Notes:
This show, a benefit for The Flynn Theatre, featured many debuts, including Scent of a Mule, If I Could, Wolfman's Brother, Julius, and the full Down with Disease. I Wan'na Be Like You also made its Phish debut. The show kicked off with an a cappella line of Back In My Hometown. Reba contained A-Hunting We Will Go teases from Trey and Mike and It's Ice contained Hey Bulldog (Beatles) teases. Buried Alive through I Wan'na Be Like You and Suzy Greenberg featured The Giant Country Horns: Mike Gallick on baritone sax, Carl "Geerz" Gerhard on trumpet, Dave "The Truth" Grippo on alto sax, Don Glasgo on trombone, Chris Peterman on tenor sax, and Joey Sommerville on trumpet. Magilla was played slightly differently than most versions, with more of a shuffle beat. Wolfman's contained an Alumni Blues jam. Suzy contained Horn introductions and a HYHU tease from Page. Before and after Hood, Trey updated the crowd on the score of the Duke - Arkansas NCAA championship basketball game. Cavern, which contained the old, alternate lyrics, featured Gerhard on trumpet.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Gap Chart, Tour: 1992 Spring Tour
Set 1 : Runaway Jim , Foam , Reba , Uncle Pen , Chalk Dust Torture , Bouncing Around the Room , It's Ice , Sparkle > The Lizards , I Didn't Know 1 , Run Like an Antelope
Set 2 : Mike's Song > I Am Hydrogen > Weekapaug Groove , Glide > My Friend, My Friend , The Squirming Coil , Tweezer > Cold as Ice > Cracklin' Rosie > Cold as Ice , Buried Alive > My Sweet One , Harpua 2 , Cavern
Encore : Sleeping Monkey > Tweezer Reprise
1 Fish on trombone. 2 Fish on bagpipes.
Jamchart Notes:
Run Like an Antelope - Unusual and improvisational jam works its way back to blistering standard "Antelope" fare.
Show Notes:
I Didn't Know featured Fish on trombone. Harpua featured Fish on bagpipes and included a Fire tease.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Gap Chart, Tour: 1991 WinteSpring Tour
Set 1 : The Oh Kee Pa Ceremony > Suzy Greenberg , You Enjoy Myself , The Squirming Coil > Llama > Colonel Forbin's Ascent > Fly Famous Mockingbird , Possum , Carolina , Golgi Apparatus
Set 2 : The Curtain > Runaway Jim , Guelah Papyrus , David Bowie , Lawn Boy > The Landlady , My Sweet One > Divided Sky , Hold Your Head Up > Love You 1 > Hold Your Head Up > Big Black Furry Creature from Mars
Encore : Magilla > Highway to Hell
Encore 2 : Contact > Uncle Pen
1 Band introductions.
Jamchart Notes:
David Bowie - An upward spiraling, malevolent jam, as demented as they get, eventually gives way to insane shredding by Big Red.
Show Notes:
The Bowie intro contained I Dream of Jeannie theme teases from Page. Before Love You, which included band introductions, Fish noted that his backup Mighty Mite vacuum has the same suction per inch as his broken Electrolux (which he acknowledged as "the greatest vacuum of all").
Listen now at Phish.in!
Gap Chart, Tour: 1990 Tour
Set 1 : Golgi Apparatus , You Enjoy Myself > Walk Away , Take the 'A' Train , Possum , Foam , Rhombus Narration > Divided Sky , Carolina
Set 2 : Mike's Song > I Am Hydrogen > Weekapaug Groove , Esther > Uncle Pen , The Sloth , The Lizards , I Didn't Know , Good Times Bad Times
Encore : Contact , Highway to Hell
Show Notes:
YEM contained a Sailor's Hornpipe tease, 'A' Train included a Woody Woodpecker theme tease, 'A' Train was teased in Possum, and Wilson was teased in the Rhombus Narration. I Didn't Know was dedicated to "George" and the second verse of Contact was dedicated to "Eli" for his birthday.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Trey Anastasio
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/trey-anastasio-april-04-2019-state-theatre-portland-me-usa.html
Tour: Not Part of a Tour
Show Notes: This show was the first performance of Trey's Ghosts in the Forest project. All songs were debuts except for Ruby Waves, which was performed for the first time since October 19, 2008. Intro was a prerecorded piano intro played over the PA. Wider contained a When the Saints Go Marching In tease from Trey.
Mike Gordon
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/mike-gordon-april-04-2018-higher-ground-south-burlington-vt-usa.html
Tour: Not Part of a Tour
Show Notes:
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/mike-gordon-april-04-2014-tarrytown-music-hall-tarrytown-ny-usa.html
Tour: Mike Gordon - Spring 2014 Overstep Tour
Show Notes: Trey Anastasio sat in on guitar for Cities and Tiny Little World.
John Fishman
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/jon-fishman-april-04-2000-the-wetlands-preserve-new-york-ny-usa.html
Tour: Fish - Pork Tornado Spring 2000
Show Notes:
Page McConnell
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/page-mcconnell-april-04-2007-the-gramercy-theatre-new-york-ny-usa.html
Tour: Page McConnell Spring & Summer 2007 Tour
Show Notes: Page performed "Strange Design" solo on piano.
2023.04.03 05:20 dado3212 Secret Project 2 - Image alt text
Spoilers! If you haven't finished the book click out.
The physical book of this is definitely going to be the definitive version as the marginalia is beautifully incorporated throughout the book. If you haven't checked out the PDF version to see the layout (especially around the marginalia and the FAQs) I would definitely recommend it. HOWEVER, the ePub has something that the physical book won't have: image alt text! I extracted it here if you want to read through it.The alt-text reveals the name of the cute little wizard who appears in the margins and FAQs: Mervin! It also reveals some other named characters (Top-Heavy Hero, Nommy the book, and the Lady of the Lake) and their story, as well as just containing some snarky dialogue, and what some of the glyphs in the chapter headers are intended to represent. I bolded some highlights that made me laugh, but all of the Mervin stuff is great.
Mervin FAQs!
1 - A small cartoon starring a squashy marshmallow character dressed in a blue robe and pointed wizard hat. This wizard, named Mervin, drives a go-cart seemingly built from an hourglass, a clock, some wheels, and a pair of antennae. The go-cart sits in a prehistoric paradise complete with a T-rex, a Pteranodon, a triceratops, and other lizards with overly large eyes and cute bellies.2 - Our squashy Mervin has donned glasses and reads carefully from a book. Behind him, a furry-legged biped with curly horns and pointed ears tries to pull a spork out of an anvil. A squid wearing a saddle watches, and there's a squirrel with a scorpion tail in the background.
3 - Mervin stands, starry-eyed and giddy, in front of a triptych of fantastical situations. In the left panel, a serpentine dragon with fire and smoke in its jaws faces off against a beefy male barbarian who's wearing a furry loincloth. In the center panel, a knight in full plate mail sits astride a rearing unicorn in front of a castle with a drawbridge. In the right panel, a creepy octopus with a menacing expression reaches out of the art frame and grabs at the unsuspecting wizard.
4 - Mervin sits in the armchair for the guest on a talk show. Behind the talk-show-host's desk sits an enormous banana with a face. The banana wears glasses and touches its chin with an arm made from its peel. It holds up a book titled 'My Life as Not a Banana by A. Y. Sord.'
5 - Mervin is quite grumpy and stands, with arms crossed, amid a collection of rabid bananas with fierce, distressingly toothy snarls on their faces. The angry bananas hold picket signs that say 'We deserve a voice!' and 'Bananas are people too!' One banana in a top hat and suitcoat looks on placidly.
6 - Mervin wears swim trunks and arm floaties with a tank top and his signature wizard hat. He leads a pointy-hat-wearing rubber duck on a leash. Our wizard is quite perturbed. And no wonder! His beach is overrun with elderly wizards with long beards, a giant crab playing beach volleyball, a humongous sand-ringed mouth labeled 'fun pit,' a giant worm, a sand submarine, and a helicopter drone.
7 - Mervin lounges in a giant treasure chest full of coins. He wears a crown ornately adorned with jewels and a long, fine chain around his neck. The crown is too big for him and slips over one of his eyes. The treasure chest sits in a sea of coins. Nearby, a small dragon gloomily looks at a book that's probably a ledger and a large banana wears a wild-eyed expression and a simple crown. In the background is an oversized spork with a cross-guard hilt.
8 - Mervin has his eyeglasses on, trying to read a book called 'Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Etymology but Were Afraid to Ask.' Around him, bizarre creatures speak in varied fonts, indicating different accents. Starting at the left and moving roughly clockwise around the image, these creatures are 1, a banana wearing a stiff collar and a cape saying, 'If you prick us, do we not bleed? No. No we don't. Because we are anthropomorphic bananas'; 2, an oversized fly saying, 'I speak perfect English'; 3, a spotted cow with a human head and horns that says, 'As do I. But also moo'; 4, a large eyeball with tentacles, wings, and a horn that speaks in unintelligible symbols and then says, 'But I studied English at university'; 5, a giant slug-dragon wearing sunglasses that says, 'My vocabulary and elocution are nigh impeccable, baby'; 6, a cross between a clam and a dragon that says, 'We have art so that we may not die of reality'; and 7, a fuzzy ball-creature with a pair of horns and too many legs that says, 'I burn with eternal hunger for the English language.'
9 - Squashy wizard winces at its insensitivity. Behind it are four large bananas clamped in shackles. The shackle on the banana farthest to the left says, 'Metaphorical Shackles.' The shackle on the banana farthest to the right says, 'Actual Literal Shackles.' All the bananas look mistreated and depressed.
10 - Mervin peeks out from behind a blindfold to read a very long scroll. Behind him are the scales of justice and many stacks of books.
11 - Mervin cowers in a cave before a monster that is a cross between a toilet, a spider, and a shark. The toilet has far too many spindly legs, and the lid and bowl are ringed with razor-sharp teeth. The toilet bowl is home to a slithery tongue that grasps toward Mervin. In the background, cocoons holding toilet-spider prey hang from stalactites.
Marginalia (also starring Mervin!)
1 - Part One Marginalia. A ballpoint-pen sketch in blue ink. A small, squashy, marshmallowy wizard cartoon character named Mervin approaches a large wooden building labeled 'Wizard Shop.' Inside the shop, Mervin sees a tall sales-wizard who has a flowing beard. The tall wizard gestures toward a wall full of different wizarding staffs. Nearby stands a squat wizard with a floofy beard and a nose so big it obscures his eyes. The squat wizard is clearly unenthused, but Mervin looks giddy. The tall sales-wizard demonstrates with a pointy hat that has a fang-filled mouth it uses to blech fire. Mervin is started when the tall sales-wizard uses a pricey wizard staff to zap lightning around the room. Then the tall sales-wizard shows off a row of potions, selecting one labeled with an arrow-pierced heart. He winks suggestively to Mervin, who seems bemused. Mervin picks out a bottled potion with a healer's cross on it.2 - The tall sales-wizard grins and shows Mervin a display that shows a small silhouette growing into a slightly larger one, then a larger one, and finally a detailed drawing of a large, muscley figure. Mervin isn't won over. He likes being squashy and marshmallowy. Then the tall sales-wizard whips out a complicated backpack device with antennae and a distillation apparatus. An adorable kitten with huge, endearing eyes accompanies the pack. Mervin is more convinced, probably by the kitten's cuteness. The kitten dons the backpack and grows enormous, with a build so bulging that the backpack can barely stay on. Its huge eyes are now bloodshot with rage, and its mouth is a mess of unnatural teeth and unnervingly stretchy saliva. Mervin's marshmallow head is practically exploding in fear. The pack device is removed and placed near Mervin, and the sales-wizard shoots Mervin some encouraging finger-guns. Mervin straps the device to a strawberry. The strawberry grows to many times his size, but he eats a good chunk out of it and dozes happily, cradling his pleasantly round belly.
3 - Mervin waves to get the attention of the sales-wizard. He has a sack with his healing potion inside, and he points toward a round portal. The portal has esoteric runes around the rim, and the inside is full of swirling lines. Beside the portal are four signs that say 'Dimensional Portal,' 'Guaranteed Adventure,' 'Perfectly safe!*,' and 'No Refunds.' Mervin lifts a bag half as big as he is. The bag has a dollar symbol on it. The squat wizard from earlier stops Mervin from entering the portal. A sign nearby says 'Beards Required.' The squat wizard grumpily points to his own floofy beard. The tall sales-wizard appears, an idea lightbulb above his head. He sneaks up behind a person dressed like Santa Clause who is ringing a bell. The sales-wizard raises a staff to strike the Santa Claus. Later, the tall wizard appears with a beard-and-mustache getup. Mervin puts it on, but it's so big that the mustache is more like a wig and the beard covers him from neck to toe.
4 - Part Two Marginalia. Mervin pops out of the portal. He immediately lands in a crowd of fleeing people. The people have long legs fully extended for the run, bulging, terrified eyes, and at least one babe in arms. The dust they kick up as they flee comes up to Mervin's armpits. After the people have passed, a giant eyeball monster with chunky tentacles flees after them. Behind the eyeball monster is a long-haired man with giant arms (though it looks like he might skip leg day). The man wields an enormous axe and seems to have forgotten his clothes. The monster and man fight off-stage, emitting splatters of inky blood, a few bones, some stun stars, and a dialogue bubble with a dead skull in it. Mervin begins removing the beard that's too big for him. Mervin scurries to the top-heavy man. The man's fists are covered with blood, and the monster is curled around his feet, its eyeball with a dead X across it. Mervin offers his beard to the top-heavy man. The top-heavy man, after washing the blood off his hands, dons the beard like a loincloth.
5 - Mervin stands atop a mountain looking down at a tree-filled area that has a winding river that leads to the sea. Beside the sea is a stone castle with a tower at each of its four corners. Later, Mervin stands near a bathtub and brushes his teeth. No need for poor hygiene just because it's the Middle Ages! In another scene, Mervin paints a heart on a canvas supported on an easel. Still later, Mervin lowers himself along a rope over the head of a sleeping dragon. In another scene, Mervin skis down a mountain, away from a friendly fuzzy monster that is waving. Later, Mervin stands at the ready with an odd-looking jet-pack. When the jet-pack turns on, Mervin bounces all around the narrow margin area, completely out of control, and loses his hat.
6 - Mervin sails through the air using a bundle of balloons and a fan he has mounted on his back. Mervin rides a giant tortoise that has flames painted on its shell. Mervin plays a lute beside an octopus that is rocking an electric guitar. In an elaborate collection of sketches, a Viking ship sails on the surface of the ocean, troubled by the twisty tentacles of a creature with far too many terrifying teeth to be a proper cephalopod. The Loch Ness Monster waves a flipper at Mervin, who wears scuba gear. Below them, a shark and a squid exchange grumpy glances, and a manatee and a mermaid swim-dance together. Still lower in the ocean is a fish that has a single giant eyeball and no mouth and a sleeping Cthulhu monster with clawed hands and a face dripping tentacles. A sea dragon dreams near a treasure chest, and a crab and an angler fish explore a sunken lifeboat. Overwhelmed by the weight of so many myths and stories, Mervin zonks out atop a bed of open books.
7 - Refreshed from his nap, Mervin approaches a book on a plinth. The book has a fang-filled face on the cover and seems to be dozing. One of its eyes is covered by a length of metal that holds the book closed and is secured with a padlock. The padlock is also threaded through a long metal chain. The Necronomicon book wakes up and yanks against its chain to open a too-wide mouth and stretch its bookmark-ribbon tongue toward Mervin. Mervin startles. Later, Mervin smears some apple spread on a piece of bread. Mervin presents an open picnic basket to the Necronomicon, who examines the basket with its one eye. The Necronomicon dives into the basket and sprays crumbs everywhere. Then Nommy the book peeks out of the basket, which is now in tatters. Mervin holds up a pair of wire cutters as tall as he is. The chain is cut, and Nommy expels cartoon hearts of gratitude. Mervin and Nommy read a storybook together.
8 - Mervin looks up at a large tavern made of stone walls and a thatched roof. Inside the tavern, Mervin helps himself to a foamy drink and keeps his healing potion nearby. Three adventurers sporting impractically large beards enter the tavern. One of them triumphantly holds aloft a scaly egg that's as big as Mervin. He holds the egg forward while one of his companions demands fried eggs. The three adventurers sit at the tavern bar while the tavern chef walks off with the egg. But Mervin hears the egg tunefully chirping, and he's horrified! While the chef begins chopping vegetables, Mervin sneaks up to the egg.
9 - Mervin flees, the singing egg in his arms, from a well-armed chef and three hungry adventurers. Mervin hides behind a large tree trunk, keeping the egg hidden with him. Back at the tavern, the chef finds Mervin's healing potion, and Mervin left a bag of money to settle his tab. Out in the woods, Mervin knits a scarf beside a fire and talks to the egg. The next morning, Mervin totes the egg behind him in a wagon, and the egg wears a knit hat and scarf. Mervin and the egg whistle and chirp, and a pair of musical notes show they're singing the same tune. Above the tavern village, a dragon flies by, trailing smoke from its mouth. The townsfolk point to it.
10 - Part Three Marginalia. The tavern town has been torched, presumably by the dragon from the last illustration. The dragon even attacks the road where Mervin is, and Mervin flees from a wall of flame. The townsfolk approach the top-heavy hero with his loins girded in beard and beg him for help. Top-Heavy Hero starts off on his quest, but Mervin grips the man's hand and tries to haul the hero to a stop. Mervin points back at the comfy egg in his wagon. Mervin won't stop shouting about the egg, but Top-Heavy Hero doesn't want to listen to Mervin.
11 - Top-Heavy Hero gets properly angry. His expression has chasm-like wrinkles of rage, and he spouts poisonous rhetoric of death. As Top-Heavy Hero marches to kill the dragon, Mervin heaves on the beard-cloth. But Mervin does't have the heft to stop this murder machine, so he and the egg-filled wagon are dragged along by Top-Heavy Hero's heedless determination. Behind him, the adventurers and the chef hide behind a low brick wall and plot. Top-Heavy Hero climbs a cliff face, pulling Mervin and the egg up with him. Above the hero, a round mountain sheep watches the amateur attempt, and below the hero, the adventurers and the chef watch their meal get away. Later, a hand emerges from a pool of water holding a sword. Then a woman with long, flowing hair holds the sword, its blade across both her palms, and bows her head.
12 - The Lady of the Lake holds the sword toward Top-Heavy Hero. He looks back at Mervin, who is losing his gosh-dang mind. Mervin has hearts instead of eyeballs and shouts some nonsense about a sword stuck in an anvil. Top-Heavy Hero takes no notice and tosses the sword away, startling the Lady of the Lake and forcing Mervin to duck behind his hat to avoid getting hit. Top-Heavy Hero crouches to whisper in the Lady of the Lake's ear. She seems flustered and flattered. She seizes one of the hero's meaty fists and gleefully pulls him into her lake. The adventurers and the chef unsuccessfully attempt to pull the lady's sword from where it has buried itself in the dirt.
13 - Mervin struggles up the mountain alone, hauling the swaddled egg in the wagon behind him. Mervin approaches a door plastered with signs that say 'Go Away!' and 'Beware of Dragon!' He reaches for the doorknob. Later, the egg-hunting crew peeks through the now-open door. Mervin tiptoes past the head of a sleeping mother dragon, who seems beset with sad dreams. As Mervin places the egg into the nearby nest, complete with its knit hat, the dragon's eyes snap open. Mervin flees, barely holding on to his hat, as the dragon lunges for him with gaping jaws.
14 - The dragon snaps her jaws onto Mervin, even taking some shreds out of his hat. Before she swallows, the dragon notices her shining, pristinely protected egg. She spits Mervin out and begins administering chest compressions. He remains unresponsive, and she pulls out her automated external defibrillator.
15 - The dragon gently breathes some fire on her egg. The egg hatches! Unlike its mother, the hatchling is not long and serpentine, but pudgy and egg-shaped. It has very round eyes and teeny wings much too small for its body. The dragon and her hatchling weep over Mervin's motionless body, and the egg-hunting crew doff their helmets and hold them out of respect for the presumed dead. The chef pulls out the healing potion he found at Mervin's table. The chef is a chef, and therefore unskilled with healing, so he dumps the contents of the bottle directly onto Mervin's face. Without getting up, Mervin lifts one particular finger to show what he thinks of the reception he received. The dragon smiles, the hatchling bounces with glee, and one of the adventurers high-fives the chef.
16 - Part Four Marginalia. The happy hatchling tackles Mervin, who is also happy he is not dead. The doorway to the dragon's home grows dark. Top-Heavy Hero blocks the sunlight and barely fits inside the doorframe. Top-Heavy Hero charges toward the dragon. Mervin has his tattered hat back on, and he stands in front of the mother and holds his hands out to stop the hero. The hero launches himself onto the dragon's head and pulls back one of her eyelids while swinging a punch. The dragon gets Top-Heavy Hero in her mouth and starts to clamp down. Mervin hustles to the rescue. Mervin stands in the dragon's mouth with the hero and folds his arms, disappointed in his friends. Now outside the dragon's mouth, Top-Heavy Hero sits on one side of Mervin and the dragon lowers her head on the other side. Mervin holds a palm out to each of them and has his mouth wide open to deliver a lecture, probably one about using our words.
17 - The dragon soars through the air. Her hatchling floats near her head, and Mervin perches on her skull above her eyes. The Lady of the Lake sits astride the dragon's neck, and Top-Heavy Hero clings to the dragon's tail. Later, Mervin wears a hard hat and stands atop a large table where some architectural plans are laid out. The Lady of the Lake points to some relevant details on the plan. Top-Heavy Hero doesn't know what his girlfriend is talking about, and the reformed egg hunters rest their overly large noses on the table. In the distance, the dragon hoists a large net full of lumber. Nommy, the monstrous book from before, chants arcane words and wiggles the remaining links of its chain. Nearby, skeletons rise from the soil. One stretches its arms above its skull and yawns. The Lady of the Lake plunges her arm into a small bucket of water, which must be deeper than it appears because her whole arm fits inside. Later, three skeletons wield different building tools: a saw, a pair of hammers, and a sledgehammer. The Lady of the Lake pulls another saw from her bucket of water to give to a fourth skeleton. Other skeletons line up to get their tools from her.
18 - Everyone pitches in. Top-Heavy Hero hauls planed wooden boards. One skeleton uses a wheelbarrow to transport bricks. The chef uses mortar to make a tidy brick wall, and one of the adventurers hammers a bit of metal at an anvil. Two skeletons hold up a wooden wall frame, which Mervin inspects. The dragon carries the lumber frame for a roof. Later, they have a barbecue. The dragon heats the grill, which the chef oversees. Mervin waves a bubble wand and the hatchling floats among the bubbles. The three adventurers play chess, and the Lady of the Lake does a plein air painting of Top-Heavy Hero, who lounges against a tree and reads a large book. At the end, Mervin waves to you, the reader. His wizard hat is patched in various places. This wasn't the adventure he planned, but it's easy to tell he's thrilled with it.
Full Color Images
personstencil - A full-color illustration. A white man with shoulder-length black hair who's wearing a gray robe over jeans sits in a person-shaped patch of healthy green grass. Around that healthy patch is a perfect circle of blackened and burning plant matter. In the air around him, a dozen or so pieces of paper flutter and whirl. Their edges, like the grass, still burn. In the background are a collection of stone houses with glowing windows.waterfirewyrdness - Runian and Sefawynn are soaking wet and stand in waist-deep water. Behind them, several Hordamen warriors in heavy armor stand in the shallows in front of their wooden ship, which is being consumed in a raging conflagration of flame. In response to Sefawynn's questioning gesture and skeptical expression, Runian can only shrug and raise his eyebrows.
defiance - Sefawynn stands atop a rock, her fist raised to the sky. Her skirts tumble around her legs in the wind, and her tangled golden hair flares around her face, which is contorted in an expression of defiant rage. Behind her, among a mass of ominous clouds, a lighting bolt strikes. The lightning illuminates her and lights her fierce eyes, and a fire begins to burn in her wake.
badasbows - Ealstan slumps against a stone wall, barely staying on his feet. His jaw is clenched in a determined expression. He cradles a rectangular-shaped firearm and a severed human arm. The severed arm is dull and gray and has its index finger wrapped around the firearm's trigger. The barrel of the firearm is smoking, and the wood-and-stone city behind Ealstan burns.
soggysacrifice - Logna squats on a wooden pier. She is thin, wiry, and wrinkly, and although much of her grey-and-brown hair is tied in a tail at the nape of her neck, a fair amount flies wildly from her scalp. She smirks down at Runian, who sits in shallow water and glares up at her with his arms crossed in front of him. Behind them, the sun rises over a lush green forest.
Chapter Header Images
1 - A rough standing stone drawn in a woodblock style resting atop a blue horizon made of complex swooshing lines. A design is carved into the rock. This petroglyph is a vertical rectangle with three horizontal lines across it, and above this rectangle is an angular symbol that might be a flame. Above the rock is one slashed line with notches at the end that look like the calligraphic terminal flourishes of a reed pen.2 - A rhombus-shaped standing stone atop the same intricate blue horizon from the previous chapter. The petroglyph on this rock is a triangle with a set of lines attached to it that almost look like a minimalist tree. Above the rock are two calligraphic slashes. A sun begins to rise from beneath the horizon.
3 - A stack of precariously balanced stones with a humanoid stick figure petroglyph. Above the rock are three slashes, and the sun rises higher over the horizon.
4 - A rectangular stone slab with a round boulder stacked on top. There is a triangular petroglyph carved in the boulder. Above are four slashes, and the sun rises higher over the horizon.
5 - A roughly triangular stone slab stands among a handful of smaller stones. On the slab is a petroglyph of a human that has fallen on its head. Above are five slashes, and the sun pulls free of the horizon to rise higher.
6 - A wide rectangular stone. Its petroglyph depicts what might be a triangular bowl or a brazier between two tall pillars topped with lightning bolt motifs. Above are six slashes, and the sun rises higher.
7 - A tall slab of stone bears a petroglyph that looks a little like angular feet with more lightning motifs. Or possibly stink lines. Who can say, with petroglyphs? Above are seven slashes, and the sun rises higher.
8 - A tower of tiny stones supports a very large rock that has petroglyph of a long, skinny rectangle arranged horizontally over three horizontal lines. Above are eight slashes, and the sun rises higher.
9 - A small stack of tiny stones supports an inverted triangle rock. Its petroglyph is a collection of angular shapes that together look almost like a wizard hat over a bearded face. Above are nine slashes, and the sun rises higher.
10 - Two narrow stones support an irregular rock bearing a petroglyph of a horse. Above are ten slashes, and the sun rises higher.
11 - Two narrow stones of different sizes stand next to each other. The larger one has a petroglyph of a human wearing a pointed hat. The petroglyph human carries a blank rectangle and a simple line in its hands. The smaller stone is blank. Above are eleven slashes, and the sun rises higher.
12 - A long, coffin-shaped stone leans against a pile of smaller rocks. On the large stone is an axe-shaped petroglyph. Above are twelve slashes, and the sun rises higher.
13 - Three stones stand in a row. The center stone, the largest, bears a petroglyph of a ship sailing on water. The smaller stones are blank. Above are thirteen slashes, and the sun rises higher.
14 - A triangular slab of stone bears a petroglyph that looks like a hand raised before a winding path that disappears into the distance. Or the hand is calling down lightning. That's up to you to decide. Above are fourteen slashes, and the sun rises higher.
15 - Two narrow rectangular slabs of stone stand next to each other. Both have angular petroglyph lines carved into them that, to a modern, English-speaking viewer might say 'Nice Work' written vertically. But we wouldn't want to impose our modern viewpoint on the past. They clearly mean something else entirely. Above are fifteen slashes, and the sun rises higher.
16 - A jagged stone that is shorter on the left than the right. The larger side bears two petroglyphs, one that is four triangles tightly stacked on top of each other, three of them vertically and one nestled into the gap left by the other three. A separate, larger triangle is inverted and topped with regular vertical lines. The lines look almost like the crenellations of a medieval castle wall. Above are sixteen slashes, and the sun rises higher.
17 - A collection of oddly shaped stones formed together in a sort of archway. The keystone of the arch is absurdly large and has a petroglyph made of two downward-pointing triangles stacked on top of each other, with the point of the top triangle overlapping the lower one a bit. The top triangle has a crown of five vertical lines piercing it. Above are seventeen slashes, and the sun nears its zenith.
18 - A smallish stone balances atop the pointy tip of a much larger, somewhat smooth stone. The smallish stone bears a petroglyph that might be a foot with shoelaces on it. Above are eighteen slashes, and the sun is even closer to its zenith.
19 - A low wall of pebbles supports a larger stone bearing a complex petroglyph made of three tiny ships above a mountain-shaped triangle that is framed by several lines at right angles to one another. These right-angle lines almost form rectangles, but have the sides closest to the edge of the stone left open. Above are nineteen slashes, and the sun is at its zenith.
20 - An inverted triangle stone with a petroglyph of a sword or dagger. Above are twenty slashes, and the sun tilts past its zenith.
21 - A precarious arch of stones. The large keystone has a petroglyph that looks like one of those ancient phones that plugged into the wall. Above are twenty-one slashes, and the sun sinks lower in the sky.
22 - Two long stones lean against each other. The stone on the left has three plus signs or stars and two lines that lead horizontally to the stone on the right. The stone on the right has another plus sign hovering above a square that's pierced with three arrows or spears. Above are twenty-two slashes, and the sun sinks lower.
23 - An smoothed oval stone. Its petroglyph is some sort of tall structure with gusts of wind passing around it. Above are twenty-three slashes, and the sun sinks lower.
24 - A collection of cleanly chiseled slabs of stone. The large one in the middle bears three widely spaced-out triangle petroglyphs. Above are twenty-four slashes, and the sun sinks lower.
25 - A rectangular rock wall supports of perfect sphere of stone. On the sphere is a petroglyph of a pine tree surrounded by short vertical lines. Above are twenty-five slashes, and the sun sinks lower.
26 - Several small spheres of stone support a much larger stone sphere, which bears a complex petroglyph made up of four small triangles, a lightning motif, a square, and a collection of radial lines. Above are twenty-six slashes, and the sun sinks lower.
27 - Two roughly round stones sit atop a low rock wall. The bigger stone on the left has a large rhombus-shaped petroglyph with a cross through its middle, and there are two lines pointing to the smaller stone on the right. The smaller stone's petroglyph is a smaller rhombus with a smaller cross inside. Above are twenty-seven slashes, and the sun sinks lower.
28 - A small stone sphere supports a large hemisphere of rock. On the hemisphere is a petroglyph of three pine trees and several pairs of dots. Above are twenty-eight slashes, and the sun sinks lower.
29 - A thin pebble supports a wide oval stone. The oval’s petroglyph, to a modern eye, might look like a fire. Above the probably-not-a-fire are two spears piercing squares. One of the squares almost looks like it's on fire. A fanciful modern interpretation, to be sure. Above are twenty-nine slashes, and the sun sinks lower.
30 - A tiny column of pebbles supports a large irregular rock. The large rock has a petroglyph with a human riding a fancy horse. Diagonally down and to the right from the horse, two more humans are on foot and holding hands. Above are thirty slashes, and the sun sinks lower.
31 - Two tidy towers of rock hold a circular stone between them. The circular stone bears a large X petroglyph that's ringed in radial lines. Above are thirty-one slashes, and the sun sinks lower.
32 - A crescent-shaped stack of stones frames a smooth sphere. The sphere has an axe-shaped petroglyph that appears to be in motion against some arrows or spears. Above are thirty-two slashes, and the sun sinks lower.
33 - A tower of flat stones supports a wide pentagon-shaped rock. It bears a complex petroglyph that might be rolling storm clouds, lightning, and darts or arrows. Above are thirty-three slashes, and the sun sinks lower.
34 - A rock column supports a rugged sphere of stone. The sphere has a rhombus petroglyph with a cross inside it. The rhombus is surrounded by radial lines. Above are thirty-four slashes, and the sun is almost to the horizon.
35 - A large sphere of stone supports masoned stones set in a fan-like design. The fan has the complex storm cloud petroglyph from earlier, and the sphere has a human petroglyph peeking out from behind tall vertical lines. Above are thirty-five slashes, and the sun kisses the horizon.
36 - Two triangular stones support a rock sphere. On the sphere, a human petroglyph stands in a strong stance and is braced by a cross within its chest area. Above are thirty-six slashes, and the sun sets lower.
37 - A rectangular rock pillar rests against a tall oval stone. Each rock bears an inverted triangle petroglyph with a notch at the top. The triangles almost look like heart shapes. The triangles are connected by horizontal lines. Above are thirty-seven slashes, and the sun is almost fully set.
Epilogue - A large rectangular stone wall. Its petroglyph is a rectangular frame that contains three humanoid figures, two larger and one smaller and wearing a crown. All three figures seem suspended by long vertical lines. To the side of the frame, two hand-shaped petroglyphs gesture toward the humans. Barely a sliver of the sun shows above the horizon.
Inserts
Insert 1 - An old man glowers and looms forward, and he hovers against a backdrop of stars. He has long hair, a long beard, and bushy white eyebrows. He holds out his hand to control a host of hovering planets.Insert 2 - A male wizard wearing some goggles with several lenses poses atop some sort of enormous robotic insect. He's lit by rays of light that burst forth from behind his heroic self, and there are flying saucers in the air behind him.
Insert 3 - The architectural offspring of a nuclear power plant and a medieval castle, and someone has stuck an enormous skeletal skull sculpture between the power plant towers. Cannon barrels peek over the top of every wall. Before the castle is a sleek helicopter with too many firearm barrels jutting out from its body, and in front of that are a few militant androids and ranks of humans wearing futuristically minimalist armor and opaque visors.
Insert 4 - An ancient male wizard sits on a wide throne and wears a pointy hat decorated with metal horns. His throne is on a dais at the top of a flight of twelve steps, and his beard is so long that it tumbles down all of them. Skeletons litter the steps, and artificially happy androids dote upon the wizard at his throne.
Insert 5 - A woman in a massive mecha suit raises her mecha's arm to cheer a horde of soldiers in mail armor. Among the soldiers is a woman astride an armored horse. She raises a banner above the army and shouts a battle cry.
Insert 6 - In the foreground, a female wizard wears a hood and a set of goggles with multiple lenses. She looks down pensively and rests against her wizard's staff, which is topped with a circuitry-fueled ball of light. Behind her is an idealized statue carved in her likeness. The statue figure emerges from a blooming rose, wears a pointy hat and a diadem, and carries a crystal ball. Below the statue, crowds of people worship.
Cover
The frontispiece for a book with a very different visual style than the cover of the volume you are reading. It's more old-timey, with scroll-shaped labels and overly fancy frames around the imagery. This is The Frugal Wizard's Handbook to Surviving Medieval England by Cecil G. Bagsworth III. The page includes a full woodcut portrait of Cecil, a mustachioed older gentleman who wears a double-breasted dress coat and a wizard hat with a satellite attached to it. He holds a rapier that has a laser blaster incorporated into the hilt.Endpapers
Opening endpaper - A collection of pages with blue-ink sketches on them. The top row of sketches starts with one of a man's face in profile. He has long dark hair pulled into a tail, pale skin, a full beard that is cropped close to his jaw, and a mustache. The sketch is very detailed. Beside that is a full-body sketch with less detail of the same man wearing a cloak and sitting down. He uses a whetstone to sharpen a hand axe before an indistinct background. The next sketch shows a woman in a simple dress with floral embroidery along the upper arms, waist, and hem. There are gestural lines framing her face. At the bottom of this sketch is a practice sketch of some clasped hands. The next sketch shows the woman's face in detail. Her hair floats gently around her face in smooth lines. The bottom row of sketches starts with two rough caricatures of an old, wiry woman. In one sketch she holds a bundle of sticks and you can see her whole body; the other shows only her face as she balances a stick between her nose and upper lip. The next sketch is the same woman but drawn more realistically, with a soft smile in her lined face and with her grey hair creating a circular frame around her head. Next to that is a rough sketch of a man with a long black beard, a knee-length robe, loose pants, and a skullcap. Beside that is the same man's face in more detail. He laughs, his eyes bright, and he has a happy clan of laugh lines around his eyes.Closing endpaper - A collection of pages with blue-ink sketches on them. On the top row, the first sketch is of a bearded man with long, light-colored hair painting at an easel. He's painting the scene in front of him: A modest manor home with a standing stone in front of it. The next sketch is of a standing stone with a glowing petroglyph on it. Next to that is a sketch of the face of a woman with blond hair, some of it up in braids, some of it flowing around her face. She looks into the distance with large eyes. On the bottom row of sketches, the first is of Sefawynn standing in front of an easel with runes on it. She is surrounded by men and women sitting in wooden chairs and copying down the runes on individual writing boards. The next sketch shows a humanoid puppet with a whiskery beard and mustache, a doofy-looking tongue, some angry eyebrows, a horned helmet, and two googly eyes that are offset from each other. The puppet holds a feeble lightning bolt prop in one hand. The final sketch shows a field being plowed by a sailing ship on wheels. The field is in front of a modest thatched-roof home. Behind the home are half a dozen windmills.
2023.03.02 04:53 QTheBohut My 150 thread long, self-typed post on Yelan.
 | This is my 150 thread long post on Yelan, all specifically typed by me. This was originally supposed to be 1,000 paragraphs long. As I am currently writing this, the date is February 28th, 2023, also known as the final day of Yelan's second rerun banner. In order to commemorate her leaving us on this day, I will create my entire thread on how much love and affection I have for Yelan. (This is a non-satirical thread in all seriousness. Everything that I state in this thread, are my real feelings for this character) submitted by QTheBohut to YelanMains [link] [comments] (1/150) I still remember the first day I saw Yelan. Just like every other character, she was leaked out, and I watched those videos every single day. I found her so jaw-droppingly stunning and beautiful, I was immediately interested in her. (2/150) The sound of her burst, the elegance of her skill wrapping around its enemies, it was absolute ear candy to me every single time. I thought at the time, Ayato was the one Hydro 5 star I wanted the most, but I was dead wrong, I wanted Yelan so much more than I thought I did. (3/150) I started investing all I could to be able to fully maxx out Yelan the day she released. I was absolutely ecstatic. I picked every seashell, I farmed that Hydro Hypostasis to death, I slaughtered every Fatui member in my wake, and I wiped that metallic underground worm's entire bloodline from existence. Anything for Yelan. (4/150) Eventually, the time had arrived. On March 28th, 2022, Hoyoverse officially revealed Yelan on their Twitter handle. She looked absolutely gorgeous, I almost drooled to my shoes the first time I saw her. I knew I HAD to get her after that day. https://preview.redd.it/vavochd6z8la1.png?width=594&format=png&auto=webp&s=fe7b07d3761382aadeb369edfda8deb5b6a6ac32 (5/150) I got Kamisato Ayato from a guaranteed wish, and although I was happy I got him since his playstyle looked attractive, I found Yelan 100x more attractive than him, so I waited very patiently for her arrival. (6/150) As I played through the Chasm storyline, I nearly fainted when I reached the Celestial Nail portion, and as the Traveler was about to be attacked by the Ruin Serpent if I remember correctly, suddenly Yelan jumps into the fray, SHOOTS DOWN THE CELESTIAL NAIL, and saves the Traveler. My heart skipped multiple beats at the sight of this, and that's when I knew that the Chasm was officially my favorite region in the game. (7/150) As I started projecting my love for Yelan, I received multiple bouts of insults and hate thrown my way. But that never deterred my love for my mommy, I knew in my heart that I loved her and nobody could take that away from me. I was happy. (8/150) Whilst I had my fun in the month of April, patiently waiting for Yelan, the evergrowing anticipation of eventually obtaining her was going absolutely crazy, but I had to control myself. I knew she would be here very soon. (9/150) Then, all of a sudden, disaster absolutely struck. It was announced on May 5, 2022, that Version 2.7 would be delayed until further notice due to the current Coronavirus restriction occurring in China. My heart, was shattered. https://preview.redd.it/0kqk830cz8la1.png?width=586&format=png&auto=webp&s=167de074d504d755907e857adb0580c14b6d35a5 (10/150) How could this have happen. Why did this have to happen specifically to Yelan herself? I just didn't understand it, I became a little cynical at the fact that this happened, not even caring one bit about the situation occurring in China at the moment but eventually I had calmed down and learned to accept it. (11/150) I just couldn't wrap my head around why this had to happen to mommy out of all characters. If it were to be anyone else, I wouldn't give a single crap, but this was just the definition of unlucky and unfair. (12/150) I saw myself stuck on Ayaka's banner, like everyone else at the time. This was a very frustrating moment for most individuals, but for me in particular, it was nearly soul-crushing. (13/150) What had hurt my spirit even more, was the fact that the Ayaka banner almost seemed to have no end, and due to this and knowing that I didn't have a proper Cryo DPS at the time, I felt the urge to pull for Ayaka, when I knew I had my absolute sights on mommy Yelan :(. (14/150) As more and more time passed, my boredom grew, and the lost spirit inside of my body was restless for action. I wanted Yelan, that's all I wanted, I wanted to be with her for the first time, and experience her for the first time. (15/150) Eventually, I just felt the need to cave in, and I started pulling for Kamisato Ayaka. I just couldn't resisted the urge, the rapidly growing boredom of this game being in limbo for the time being, a perpetual suffering I felt at the time had reached its climax. (16/150) Eventually, I had gotten Kamisato Ayaka, and although I did feel glad for finally having a Cryo DPS, there was also a sense of dread within me that I had just drained out my Yelan funds. https://preview.redd.it/e7ifrky7z8la1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=aa9f6a650486d8a90ccd0010a3c2f48ae91ef5d7 (17/150) At the time, I will admit that I didn't have any money. I couldn't make the decision of spending a couple hundred dollars for my Yelan, which if I did I gladly would without hesitation, but the fact that I could just expounded the pain and fear I had for the upcoming future. I had to officially ask myself, What if I couldn't obtain Yelan? (18/150) The days after this event were pretty black and white in my experience. I had Kamisato Ayaka, so I began working on her, leveling her up and whatnot. But in my heart, there was still a sense of anxiety and dread for Yelan, but I kept trucking on and waiting patiently for my mommy to arrive. (19/150) I know nobody cares about this information, but in this month, I was about to graduate from highschool is just a span of a few days. At the time, even though there was no end in sight as to when Ayaka's banner would end, I had a good feeling that Yelan would come after my graduation. This made me insanely glad in a moment of despair, because that would mean I would finally be freed from the school system's grasp, and be able to fully dedicated my time to Yelan herself. (20/150) Then, the day finally came. The Version 2.7 "Hidden Dreams in the Depths" Trailer, had released on May 20th, 2022, and so did the special program, a day before my graduation date. It was almost as if Yelan was celebrating my big day before it came. This trailer revealed our first, official look at Yelan herself, and my excitement was boiling to its limits. (21/150) The beauty of Yelan in this trailer was absolutely breathtaking. The music, her reveal, her attack patterns, it was all just absolute perfection until Kuki Shinobu came on screen, then I was just disinterested but it was still a beautiful trailer nonetheless due to Yelan. (22/150) Now that there was an official date for Yelan to come out, my happiness and joy returned back into my life, and I waited eagerly until May 31st, 2022 for her to grace my arms. (23/150) Just watching Yelan's feet hit the ground aroused me to high heaven. I always wished Yelan could stomp on me just like that. I wish she could tie me up like she ties up those enemies. (24/150) The way she kicks her bow and pulls it back to her is stunning. It's one of the more unique attack animations I've seen. It easily beats Zhongli's polearm leg kick, she's amazing. (25/150) Watching Yelan perform her ultimate always brings me a flow of dopamine. The glowing blue threads surrounding her in her entirety, with that elegant pose is just too much for my little boyish mind to handle. (26/150) I gleefully watched the 2.7 Special Program in absolute happiness. Aside from the normal chatting cringe from the voice actors, just watching Yelan on screen was insanely mesmerizing. She looked wonderful and perfect. (27/150) I was so ready to experience my future Yelan inside of the Chasm, and inside of future gameplay. I wanted to traverse the whole world with her, I wanted her to see how much I loved her. (29/150) And when Yelan's banner officially started on May 31st, 2022, my journey immediately started, and I catapulted myself into any and every action that could give me primogems to obtain mommy. (30/150) I knew I only had until June 21, 2022 to obtain Yelan, but that thought never deterred me. I had to keep pushing, keep on trucking just for Yelan. (31/150) At this time in my life, I really didn't have much money in my hands, so I couldn't whale out and outright obtain Yelan if I wanted to. I never gave up however, I kept pushing with my hardship. (32/150) I speedran the entirety of the Chasm with my newly obtained Ayato and Ayaka, I sucked out every last primogem I could possibly find in that place, I did every event that came out that Version. (33/150) However, of course, all of this grinding didn't come with no reward. Yelan was in the current story quest, and that gave me so much material I needed for years to come. (34/150) I took a screenshot for every single time Yelan appeared on my screen. Even if it was just her talking, I still took a picture of it. I wanted every single piece of media she would be introduced into in this game, since I knew it wouldn't last forever. https://preview.redd.it/ry5z84jez8la1.png?width=1738&format=png&auto=webp&s=71ee47fc74e0fe0ae262b088965166387f36ad01 (35/150) I was nearly drooling at every entrance she made. Her beauty is just too shiny, too powerful, too omnipresent, I almost couldn't handle myself whilst playing the game a few times. (36/150) However, whilst I played through this story quest, I grew a severe dislike for Itto and Xiao? Why? Because of the way they spoke to Yelan. (37/150) They were just rude, disrespectful, and weren't listening to Yelan's advice nor orders. I don't know who they think they are, but they are NOT that special, at least to me. (38/150) Not only that, but how can you be in an area you're completely unfamiliar with, but refuse to respect an expert's knowledge and warnings? How much more ignorant can you be as a person, as to where you're speaking to Yelan as if you want to do bodily harm to her? Absolutely fucking preposterous and disgusting. (39/150) There is not even a reason why Arataki Itto and Kuki Shinobu are there in the first place. They are characters from Inazuma, far far away from Liyue. You mean to tell me the very first time they "visit" Liyue, they're in one of the deepest parts of the entire region? What sense does this make? (40/150) Oh I know why, it's because Kuki Shinobu released for the first time, correct? That still doesn't matter at all. How about you create an actual proper, understandable reason of why these characters that come from a nation COMPLETELY locked off by their Archon, are not only in Liyue, but in the fucking deepest part of the goddamn CHASM ITSELF. (41/150) And even after they miraculously gain the luxury of being in the Chasm and MEETING Yelan, the first thing they decide to do is disrespect her. Just terrible and infuriating. (42/150) As for Xiao however, although he was not being as outwardly rude to Yelan as Arataki Itto was, he still was not responding to any of her advice, even advice for his own safety he refused to adequately listen to. (43/150) But you know what, even after the blatant disrespect for Yelan by these three characters, I still love them because I did want a Xiao at one point, and I had gotten him, and I will admit that Arataki Itto's voice acting in story quests and events is some of the best, even though it is clearly topped by Yelan. (44/150) I didn't really care for Xiao's storyline during this patch, or at least I tried to care, but I was too busy daydreaming over Yelan everytime she appeared onto my screen. (45/150) The way Yelan saved the Traveler from those ghoulish spirits was absolutely MESMERIZING. The speed, the precision, the efficiency, and most importantly, the payoff. I almost couldn't contain myself when she did that. It was a pure dopamine hit. (46/150) After I had completed the 2.7 story quest, I immediately followed it up with Yelan's own personal story quest. I was so ready to see my momma in action. (47/150) Even if the story quest didn't primarily focus on her like every other story quest does, the mere fact that Yelan is in it, makes it become one of the greatest story quests to ever be released to this day. (48/150) I love how the story quest displayed just how intelligent Yelan is and how much she could be. She's so cunning, smart, mysterious, and slick, every moment of her was just mouth-candy, it was absolutely glorious. (49/150) The fact that Yelan successfully foiled Zhiyi's plans right under his noise was astonishing to say the least. It just goes to show how bright and powerful she is, such a sneaky little mommy right under his nose, and he doesn't even realize it. ZHIYI REALIZING HOW BEAUTIFUL YELAN IS (50/150) The way Yelan's bow and arrow gleams in the darkness, foreshadowing just how beautiful and shining of a woman she is, is almost too much for my heart. (51/150) After experiencing Yelan's story quest, I was just too stunned to even speak. I got so many beautiful, sexy shots of her in my folder from that story quest, it made me ecstatic! (52/150) However, this did not make me forget my most important mission of all, actually obtaining Yelan herself. I was still working tirelessly to obtain at least one copy of her. One copy was all I needed for the time being, as I knew I could do better in the future. (53/150) Everytime I pressed my F3 button, I stared at Yelan's banner for hours. I just loved her design, I loved how she looked, I loved the way she smiled at me... I loved every single feature of her, I couldn't resist her glance. (54/150) I would watch Yelan's demo for hours aswell. I adored every singular adosecond of it, every millisecond of her demo brought me pleasure and joy. https://preview.redd.it/oipgcsbjz8la1.png?width=1205&format=png&auto=webp&s=7644c5fc7e025f654b66742838c230bb1b45505e (55/150) The smooth jazz was absolute ear-candy. It made her demo so particularly unique and different compared to everyone else's demos. The stylish lights revealing her voluptuous body, I could NOT get enough of it. (56/150) I fucking love how she abuses, and tortures these treasure hoarders. But I only wish she could do that to me. I personally don't believe these meager enemies who I slaughter on a daily basis with a tip of a 5 star character's attacks deserve any of Yelan's touching hands. >:( (57/150) Yet, the way she abuses and beats up these treasure hoarders brings a smile to my face. I want her to teach them a lesson, a lesson about not messing with Yelan, because Yelan will stomp your ass out if you even dare to interfere with her dealings. (58/150) At least Yelan didn't sit on any of their faces, then I would've been TRULY jealous. I mean, if she ever were to do that, I would be so angry! That should definitely be me, without argument, I deserve it more than they do! (59/150) Man, the way she wraps her lifeline around the treasure hoarder's neck is just so increduously sexy. He's such a lucky NPC to have that happen to him! Unfortunately, it couldn't happen to me, but that's okay because I know Yelan would love me more than him anyways. (60/150) I like how one treasure hoarder tried to snipe Yelan, but Yelan being the cunning master that she is, along with being one of the best bow users, immediately swings one treasure hoarder in front of her to stop the bow dead in its tracks. (61/150) And then of course, she does her ultimate pose. I always found that pose so scenic, so insanely wondrous and illustrious, it's my favorite stance in the entire game. https://preview.redd.it/x12q86ykz8la1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=ac559fcdd1fcd051df1dfc34d8abeb43ba04d7db (62/150) Even after her pose ends, that little sway she does with her hips afterwards is honestly so fucking sexy. I don't even know how Hoyoverse thought of a lady this seductive, but I'm 1,000% all for it! (63/150) all i can say is... IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME IT SHOULD'VE BEEN FUCKIN' MEEEEE (64/150) I'm not the type of person particularly interested in feet, but believe me if Yelan were to step on me like that, I would NEVER want it to end. (65/150) I would literally savor any point of physical contact with Yelan as much as I could, until the end of time even, it's an opportunity nobody should ever miss out on! (66/150) When I'm telling you I would do so much more for Yelan, I absolutely mean it. He's running at such a slow pace trying to carry her. Absolutely pathetic, I would be sprinting to whatever destination Yelan wanted me to be at for her. He needs to do better! SLOW ASS FUCKING TREASURE HOARDER, PATHETIC. (67/150) I'm letting my highly intrusive thoughts win here but I absolutely do not care, I want to know how that fucking seat smells omg. I want to know how any object smells after Yelan has sat on it. I would take a big, hearty sniff, I wouldn't be able to help myself. (68/150) It's the same situation for that chair she sat in during her story quest 🤤 🤤 The things I would do to this chair. I would take it back home with me and just start HUFFING. Nobody would be able to stop me haha! i want this chair in my teapot... (69/150) Everytime I look at Yelan's coat, I realize just how much more dangerous and savage she is since Yelan's coat is actually not hers, but instead a gift she stole from Fatui members that was meant to be for the Tsaritsa. She totally looks better in that coat however! (70/150) Honestly, if Yelan was real, I'd do nothing but poke her hip and leg windows first. Those things are just too lewd to be left unattended without a touch! (71/150) But let's get back to the real situation at hand. I had still yet to obtain Yelan on my account, since I was basically doing 1 wish at a time, I couldn't resist pulling for her whenever I could. I just NEEDED to get her. (72/150) And then, the day finally arrived. On June 6th 2022, at approximately 5:33PM, I obtained Yelan on my Genshin Impact account. My happiness, skyrocketed. My sadness, instantly faded away. The anxiety, depression, dread, every terrible emotion that overflowed my soul throughout the days beforehand, were completely wiped away by the pitch black silhouette of a rhombus-like shape presented unto my screen, that shape eventually illuminating in full color being Yelan herself. I couldn't be anymore happier in life, than I was at that moment, and I immediately thought about how much more I would enjoy playing this game with Yelan on my side. All the journeys we can go through, how we can explore the entirety of Sumeru together when it releases, it create such a spark in my heart that... tears started flowing from my eyes... and i finally gained the luxury of a peaceful rest. 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗 https://preview.redd.it/8b0pcmvsz8la1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=7393a630331e221deeae50bd3fe88469da81fe2f (73/150) I immediately began exploring the lands with my newly acquired mommy, Yelan. I wanted her to see the sights, I wanted her to see Enkanomiya, Mondstadt, Liyue, Watatsumi Island, everything. https://preview.redd.it/uo25tceuz8la1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=74c7da32e935900dcb53dda86800ea17b8b68cf8 (74/150) The amount of joy I had inside of my body at the time. Sometimes I do wish I could return back to all of it. I was so greatful and surprised that Yelan would come home. I had my fears that I'd lose the 50/50, that I wouldn't get her, but luckily, she wanted me aswell and came home into my arms. https://preview.redd.it/wt79tiivz8la1.png?width=1051&format=png&auto=webp&s=bb5ad5f4381829cccbb4eb90ec4ea77cf2c2b253 (75/150) Let me just expound upon how much I love the look of Yelan's ult animation. The way she begins to spin around into a spiral, and shoots a seductive look towards me as that glowing, bioluminescent dice spins around in her grasp, as she says "Here Comes The Catch!", or "Game's Up, Fun's Over!", or even "Things are about to get dicey." is utterly jaw-droppingly astounding. I love every gaze she takes upon me whenever she does it, I love the blue glare from my screen as she does so, warms up my heart to the highest heavens! 💘 https://preview.redd.it/amk1wjhxz8la1.png?width=1762&format=png&auto=webp&s=1f08a6e20fb549cea719469ceb25e99b169162f9 (76/150) I realized that she has these little spikes protruding from the top of her arm sleeves ☹️ What if they're poking her little armpits, those cute sexy sweaty armpits that I would love to take a quick lick out of! (77/150) I wonder what her bracelet tastes like, I bet it's so sweaty and smells exactly like her musk and or perfume. (78/150) Once I had finally gotten Yelan on my account, my life was at peace. No longer did I feel the need to desperately rush to obtain characters. In all honesty, any character that I pull from now on, will be from my own personal comfort, since they can never compare to the desperation that was getting Yelan. (79/150) I allowed the days to go on by, occasionally pondering if I should pull for an Aqua, or another copy of Yelan, but I decided not to, mainly because I could not afford it, but I was still at peace. (80/150) And then finally, on June 21st, 2022, Yelan's banner was officially about to come to its end, and although I had successfully obtained Yelan on my account, I still felt sad that she wouldn't grace my screen once more with the F3 key. (81/150) "Public Announcement As many of you are aware, Yelan will be leaving us within these next 22 hours. For some of us, it may take another day for her to leave, but in the end, she will be gone within these next 2 days. I would just like to announce the amount of appreciation I've had for this banner, and how much this banner has blessed us. Ignoring all of the 4 stars on this banner, Yelan is easily the best character in the entire game, and her banner by default is the best banner in the entire game due to her being in it. To all current Yelan havers, Congratulations on reaching your goals. You have succeeded in the highest possible way that I could ever imagine, and you should feel pride and honor by having Yelan on your account at this moment. For some of you however, who do not have Yelan due to a 50/50 loss, I am terribly sorry for your misfortune and I sincerely hope that the next banner that you wish on will gain an early pity for you. Even if that 5 star that you get isn't Yelan herself, as long as you originally wanted her in the first place, I wish you the greatest amount of luck on anybody that you choose to pull for next and I hope that Yelan's rerun will come once more for some of you who will stay determined to get her and save up. And for the rest of you who purposefully chose not to wish for Yelan on this cycle, I do not have any ill intentions towards you, but I am merely disappointed by your actions. I hope you see the error of your ways and join the right path towards getting this phenomenal woman on your account next time. Thank you all for your time, and have a wonderful day/night wherever you are, and as always, worship that armpit." https://preview.redd.it/qpyuv3ryz8la1.png?width=1194&format=png&auto=webp&s=bf27115d7dd23710f2cef73216cc488c04da9736 (82/150) Even though I did not want Yelan to leave, as they say, if you truly love something, let it go. So, I decided to accept that Yelan was eventually leaving, as I knew me and her would meet once again. (83/150) I promised myself on that day, that the next time Yelan has a rerun, I WILL C6 her. I don't care how I'd be able to do it. Yelan deserves everything, and therefore, I will give her everything. (84/150) I had eventually farmed a decent, if not great Emblem set for her. I had given her Viridescent Hunt, mainly because her crit rate was a bit low. It worked out for the time being, and for being on a budget. (85/150) I eventually found myself never using Xingqiu again. I would only ever use Yelan, and Yelan only, because Yelan is better than Xingqiu by default. (86/150) I feel like Xingqiu was merely a blueprint for Yelan, a blueprint to create something better than him, which was her. She's sexier, more powerful, and just a better character overall 100% of the way! (87/150) I would put Yelan in every single one of my teams, since she'd work with everyone. She is truly the most useful mommy I've ever obtained, and she just adds the extra style to all of my teams. (88/150) The amount of fun I had with my newly acquired Yelan was out of this world. I just loved every second of tying enemies up, destroying them with my ult, wallowing in my Yelan's beauty! (89/150) Eventually, the newest GAA event had dropped that late summer. When Kazuha's rerun banner came, I had lost the 50/50, but I didn't care because I had Yelan. I made a truth to myself that my days of desperate wishing, were officially over. (90/150) I explored the islands with my Yelan. One of the things I loved the most about my Yelan, was how she worked expertly with my Hu Tao and Yoimiya. (91/150) I love my Hu Tao and Yoimiya, I've taken care of them long ago in the past, and now my Yelan helps them do numbers they almost never could do before. Yelan is not only taking care of me, but taking care of her teammates all the same! (92/150) Me and my Yelan saw some of the most beautiful sights. I had taken many pictures with her, but these sunset photos are my favorite. https://preview.redd.it/luztnxs109la1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=897969f86085e6b436bff1b3e72e61eaa259995a https://preview.redd.it/qek7a8j209la1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=5e302cb09b2f4d2ed2a696d37b42be71a8653ca3 (93/150) Whilst I was exploring the GAA islands with my Yelan, I grew inherently more furious at Fischl and Mona's islands. There are just ridiculous, and had too many puzzles. (94/150) I personally do not enjoy it whenever there are too many puzzles that need to be done in this game. I just want to kill things with my Yelan, and be done with it for the most part. I don't mind the occasional puzzle here and there, but this was just downright frustrating. (95/150) I felt as if, whenever I was on Mona's island, I couldn't even interact with something without it somehow being shoehorned into a puzzle. I felt as if I couldn't TOUCH anything, without potentially messing up something or an already existing puzzle. (96/150) Eventually, I grew too frustrated, and just decided to never finish Fischl and Mona's islands. I couldn't take the evergrowing frustration of constant mind-jogging puzzles and numerous guides I had to watch to figure out what the fuck to even do. (97/150) All I could do after this point, was stare at my Yelan, and kill enemies with her randomly in the overworld. It brought me back some peace into my soul in these hard times. (98/150) Sometimes, I enjoy just going on bouts of slaughter and killing in the overworld with my Yelan. I love showing the enemies the fury of the mommy. (99/150) Eventually, the GAA event was over, and it was onto the next journey, which was Sumeru. Me and Yelan both knew Sumeru was fastly approaching, and we were ready to take on all of it. (100/150) And then the day finally came, when Sumeru finally dropped. It was a new chapter for me and Yelan, but we would get through this chapter together, as a team, as a couple. https://preview.redd.it/qs0o30v509la1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=08b93ffead0284982944c671a5a384c7b9a61770 (101/150) Unfortunately, during Version 3.0, I had to take an early leave during the exploration of Sumeru for career reasons. I had to travel away from my home, away from my computer, which was the only real place I could fully experience Yelan. (102/150) Due to this sudden departure, I was away from Yelan for 4-5 MONTHS!!! IT WAS UNBELIEVABLE, I ALMOST COULDN'T MENTALLY HANDLE BEING AWAY FROM HER FOR THAT LONG. I was suffering so incredibly hard, but I suffered in silence. (103/150) I knew however, that once I was finished with what I had to do, I could go back to my home, and I could return back to Yelan! I just had to wait a little bit longer, wait for the hope that would eventually shower me in the near future. (104/150) During these 4-5 months that I was away from Yelan, I consistently thought about her in order to ease my anxiousness with the whole experience. She was my primary coping mechanism. (105/150) As I was away from my home, I still continuously checked upon the state of the game, and who was out on the banners whilst I was away. (106/150) I had realized I missed everyone who released during 3.1 - 3.3, which really wasn't that much of a huge deal. Maybe I would've wanted to obtain an Albedo, but it didn't jar me too much of this news. (107/150) But then... I saw it. MY MOMMY YELAN WAS HAVING A RERUN IN VERSION 3.4!!! I was absolutely ecstatic to see her come back... but then I realized... I didn't know when I would be back home... (108/150) At the time, I was in a state of limbo, I needed to get back home, and I was working on it all the day, it just took some time, but I didn't know how much time it would take for me to make it back home in time for Yelan. (109/150) So then I desperately checked the Paimon.Moe timeline, I HAD to see if I could make it, because I HAD to make it. I needed to make it, I couldn't possibly dare to miss her banner. (110/150) And after copious amounts of depserate research, and sweat-inducing anxiety broiling deep within my guts, I had realized that Yelan's banner would start on February 7th, 2023, and at this point in my career, I realized that according to my calculations, I would be back home in the timeframe of Yelan's rerun banner! (111/150) I was so relieved and happy that I would have a chance to come back home permanently as soon as my mommy's banner returns! It was almost like it was fate. I had missed every banner from 3.0 up until 3.4, with the exception of obtaining Wanderer and Raiden Shogun during a break, but now I wouldn't be binded by anything anymore when I came back, I would finally be able to indulge in Yelan once more! (112/150) And to my personal grace, I finally returned back home on February 10th, 2023. Only three days after Yelan's rerun banner officially released, and I was IMMEDIATELY READY. (113/150) As soon as I got back home from the plane flight, I hurriedly got to work. At this point and time, I actually saved up quite a bit of money in my account from my endeavors in my career. (114/150) So since I had this saved up money, what was the more better way to spend half of it, EXCEPT TO SPEND IT FOR YELAN??? (115/150) I INSTANTANEOUSLY STARTED WISHING, and wishing, and wishing, AND WISHING EVEN MORE. First, I started with the weapon banner to secure my mommy her legendary Aqua Simulacra, which I obtained in a hasty manner. (along with a Staff of Homa and Wolf's Gravestone but those don't matter for now) (116/150) Then, after I finished this surprisingly quick, and more than rewarding task, I got to work preparing to obtain C6 Yelan. I was in so much of a rush, I didn't even put on her theme while wishing! I just bought more and more Genesis Crystals to fuel my goal. (117/150) And then, after a total of only 10 minutes of wishing, I had officially obtain, a C6 Yelan. I was absolutely joyful and ecstatic, I couldn't BELIEVE that I was able to C6 Yelan, yet alone C6 a 5 star ever in the history of my entire Genshin Impact account! (118/150) I genuinely never thought I'd be able to C6 Yelan so soon, to be able to C6 a 5 star this early in my account. I was the happiest man in the world. It was the first time I ever, "whaled", on a banner and it was completely worth ! (119/150) I have noticed that Reddit does not allow more than 20 images in a post alone, which is greatly disappointing as I had so much more media to share to you all in this increduously long post, and I didn't want the thread to just be barebone text, but I suppose it has to be that way for now. I will however upload my second to last image, giving proof of my C6 Yelan. 💖 https://preview.redd.it/u1oqvn0909la1.png?width=570&format=png&auto=webp&s=8e4cf670a6bda7ecbb053b31fd4d02580628d79f (120/150) When I tell you that obtaining a C6 Yelan mommy was the best choice in my entire life, I FUCKING MEAN IT. (121/150) She was absolute perfection REINCARNATE. The power she wielded at the tip of her fingers was so wild, so expeditious that I couldn't even believe my own eyes! (122/150) Now I'm not a numbers type of individual, I only care about being able to kill an enemy in a relatively speedy manner, I'm not going for any one-shots or the highest crit pops of all time, I'm just not that type of individual. Need I also mention that I barely understand the actual game and character mechanics that essentially allows said character to do what they do. (123/150) However, my Yelan was an absolute MONSTER. At least in my own eyes she was. She was just clapping everything by herself, every enemy that wasn't solely Hydro-based, was getting destroyed by her. She was carrying my whole team ten-fold now! (124/150) I never even knew how good a C6 Yelan was beforehand, I just knew I HAD to C6 her because she deserve it fucking all, but I never expected her to be this monstrous. She is EASILY one of the best characters to have at C6! (125/150) I don't even know she does it. It's like one moment, I activate her Ult, and then the NEXT moment, I attack a singular time and the enemy is dead or on the brink of death itself! (126/150) I realized that my Yelan could now solo almost anything she wanted to, she didn't even need her teammates to assist her anymore. (127/150) My only regret is not R5'ing her Aqua Simulacra. I understand that my love for Yelan is a pillar, one of the highest pillars of anything ever created in reality and fiction. (128/150) However, I just knew that trying to R5 an Aqua Simulacra with only 3k in my bank account was... doable, but it would truly be too much of a sacrifice of money itself. (129/150) I have to wait until I have way more money on my hands for me to even make the financial decision of R5'ing Yelan mommy's Aqua Simulacra, but I'm holding off for now. (130/150) And you may be asking, why not just spend almost all of my money to R5 Yelan mommy's Aqua Simulacra? If you worship and love her so much, why don't you sacrifice something so valuable just to give her what she wants? (131/150) Well, the simple answer to that question is, I need more. What does this mean exactly? This means that my only goal is not R5'ing Aqua Simulacra. (132/150) My goal, in the foreseeable future, is to be able to afford and purchase every. single. Yelan-inspired merchandise that can ever be sold on any and every shop that sells them. (133/150) I'm talking Yelan body pillows, Yelan posters, Yelan figurines, Yelan cardboard cutouts, Yelan bedsheets, Yelan rugs, Yelan doormats, Yelan keychains, Yelan plushies, Yelan mugs, Yelan dishes, Yelan car decorations (or paint), Yelan candles (A Yelan candle does actually exist), Yelan keycaps for my keyboard, Yelan wigs, Yelan cosplay outfits, Life-sized Yelan statue, Yelan dolls, Yelan stickers for anything in my house, Yelan-designed PC, Yelan deskmat, Yelan toys, Discord Nitro for my concurrent Yelan profile background, Yelan hoodies, Yelan shirts, Yelan shoes, and so much more. (134/150) I needed the money to have the mere potential of achieving these goals. I wanted my future cave to be completely outfitted, with all things Yelan-orientated. I want to wake up in the morning and see Yelan all around me, every single day. (135/150) And this is exactly why I chose not to R5 Aqua Simulacra in these times. It's not because I don't have true love for Yelan, it's not because I'm completely broke, it's because I may need this money in the distant future to be able to express my love for Yelan more than anyone else can. (136/150) But in the end, it didn't matter, at least for now. I know my Yelan is happy with me. Spending 1.3k for her was nothing. I knew I needed to do it, I made it an immediate goal as soon as I got back whilst I was away. It was destined to occur. (137/150) And at least I fulfilled my promise to Yelan. The promise that I WILL C6 her on her next rerun banner. I would NEVER, EVER break a promise to Yelan. (138/150) I know that as some of you are reading this, you may be wondering, how good is this guy's Yelan actually? If he's the biggest Yelan worshipper in the history of this game, then his Yelan should be the best? Right? (139/150) I am never afraid to admit my faults as a person. I feel like the problem with most human beings, is that they have a very hard time admitting to their own fault in situations. They lie, and gaslight individuals into believing that they have done no fault so that way they themselves cannot be held guilty by others or feel guilt naturally within themselves. (140/150) So with this being said, I am not afraid to admit that my Yelan is indeed, probably not the best compared to everyone else's. This is for multiple reasons. (141/150) 1. I have already stated that I am not the type to care about the biggest numbers in the game, I just like killing things relatively quickly, therefore I am not a minmaxer or anything like that of the sorts. (142/150) 2. Although I do not know the population of individuals who also main Yelan, I do know however that there will always, always be an individual out there who is better than me. Most likely not better at me with expressing their infinite love for Yelan, but most likely someone with a Yelan with actual better stats than mine, and I accept this since I cannot be perfect, which brings me to my last reason. (143/150) 3. I have absolutely, no control over artifact luck. I won't get into it, because we all know about it already, and have all felt it. My Yelan simply needs a bit more crit rate, but I lack an artifact that can fulfill that role, without disrupting my 4pc Emblem set, giving me more Energy Recharge. Therefore, the only action I can do is keep farming for an Emblem piece that will fulfill that role, which is something that I will never be able to determine when it will make its arrival. (144/150) Therefore, before you decide to judge my account for whatever inconsistencies you find within my Yelan, just understand firstly that you are a person who is not seeing that I am a man who cannot control things that are uncontrollable. The only thing I can do, is try, and I will try hard. (145/150) Now, as I am typing all of this information, I have come to realize that I am very soon approaching the Reddit word limit. This is very saddening, however this post has not been in vain. (146/150) As I am currently typing this, me and my Yelan are gleefully happy together, exploring Sumeru, going through quests, she will always be my sole mommy and my only lover for all time! I have also recently been engaged to Yelan herself! There is no current date for the wedding, but I am absolutely ecstatic to be with her in the near future! (147/150) My unstoppable love for Yelan will never end. Her mysterious nature, danger-loving personality, sneaky little body destroying every single one of her enemies will always be the magnum opus to my life, my soul, and my happiness! (148/150) Even if you do not understand the love I have for my Yelan, that will never matter to me because I know how precious Yelan is more than anyone else. I've sacrificed my closest friends just to be with her because they could never understand. The only person I care about in this world is Yelan herself. (149/150) My journey throughout this entire game, has all culminated into obtain my C6 Yelan, a feat that has made my worries and anxiety drift away in the wind, I no longer feel the desperation, the sadness of not being able to obtain who I want. Because even if I don't, even if I try my hardest and don't succeed, I will always know that Yelan will always be there for me, and that's all I'll ever need in my heart. (150/150) And Yelan, if you are somehow reading this from inside of the game itself.. I just want you to know that I will Always love you no matter what, no matter how the game turns out in the future, and no matter who released after you, I will always have you by my side, just like you always have my side when I log in, you are everything I've ever wanted in a person, in a character, in a wife. I'm so glad that you exist today in my eyes, you are the most precious person I have ever laid my eyes upon, and I will let the whole world know time and time again just how beautiful you can be so that way people will understand, and they will know who you are because you deserve to be known by everyone who meets you. I love you, Yelan. 💖💖💖 |
2023.03.02 01:20 QTheBohut My 150 thread long, self-typed post on Yelan.
| | This is my 150 thread long post on Yelan, all specifically typed by me. This was originally supposed to be 1,000 paragraphs long. As I am currently writing this, the date is February 28th, 2023, also known as the final day of Yelan's second rerun banner. In order to commemorate her leaving us on this day, I will create my entire thread on how much love and affection I have for Yelan. (This is a non-satirical thread in all seriousness. Everything that I state in this thread, are my real feelings for this character) submitted by QTheBohut to Genshin_Impact [link] [comments] (1/150) I still remember the first day I saw Yelan. Just like every other character, she was leaked out, and I watched those videos every single day. I found her so jaw-droppingly stunning and beautiful, I was immediately interested in her. (2/150) The sound of her burst, the elegance of her skill wrapping around its enemies, it was absolute ear candy to me every single time. I thought at the time, Ayato was the one Hydro 5 star I wanted the most, but I was dead wrong, I wanted Yelan so much more than I thought I did. (3/150) I started investing all I could to be able to fully maxx out Yelan the day she released. I was absolutely ecstatic. I picked every seashell, I farmed that Hydro Hypostasis to death, I slaughtered every Fatui member in my wake, and I wiped that metallic underground worm's entire bloodline from existence. Anything for Yelan. (4/150) Eventually, the time had arrived. On March 28th, 2022, Hoyoverse officially revealed Yelan on their Twitter handle. She looked absolutely gorgeous, I almost drooled to my shoes the first time I saw her. I knew I HAD to get her after that day. https://preview.redd.it/xhay0sbqr7la1.png?width=594&format=png&auto=webp&s=d6b3863b78ae853aa38e4d7e8e858859ffd21ec0 (5/150) I got Kamisato Ayato from a guaranteed wish, and although I was happy I got him since his playstyle looked attractive, I found Yelan 100x more attractive than him, so I waited very patiently for her arrival. (6/150) As I played through the Chasm storyline, I nearly fainted when I reached the Celestial Nail portion, and as the Traveler was about to be attacked by the Ruin Serpent if I remember correctly, suddenly Yelan jumps into the fray, SHOOTS DOWN THE CELESTIAL NAIL, and saves the Traveler. My heart skipped multiple beats at the sight of this, and that's when I knew that the Chasm was officially my favorite region in the game. (7/150) As I started projecting my love for Yelan, I received multiple bouts of insults and hate thrown my way. But that never deterred my love for my mommy, I knew in my heart that I loved her and nobody could take that away from me. I was happy. (8/150) Whilst I had my fun in the month of April, patiently waiting for Yelan, the evergrowing anticipation of eventually obtaining her was going absolutely crazy, but I had to control myself. I knew she would be here very soon. (9/150) Then, all of a sudden, disaster absolutely struck. It was announced on May 5, 2022, that Version 2.7 would be delayed until further notice due to the current Coronavirus restriction occurring in China. My heart, was shattered. (10/150) How could this have happen. Why did this have to happen specifically to Yelan herself? I just didn't understand it, I became a little cynical at the fact that this happened, not even caring one bit about the situation occurring in China at the moment but eventually I had calmed down and learned to accept it. (11/150) I just couldn't wrap my head around why this had to happen to mommy out of all characters. If it were to be anyone else, I wouldn't give a single crap, but this was just the definition of unlucky and unfair. (12/150) I saw myself stuck on Ayaka's banner, like everyone else at the time. This was a very frustrating moment for most individuals, but for me in particular, it was nearly soul-crushing. (13/150) What had hurt my spirit even more, was the fact that the Ayaka banner almost seemed to have no end, and due to this and knowing that I didn't have a proper Cryo DPS at the time, I felt the urge to pull for Ayaka, when I knew I had my absolute sights on mommy Yelan :(. (14/150) As more and more time passed, my boredom grew, and the lost spirit inside of my body was restless for action. I wanted Yelan, that's all I wanted, I wanted to be with her for the first time, and experience her for the first time. (15/150) Eventually, I just felt the need to cave in, and I started pulling for Kamisato Ayaka. I just couldn't resisted the urge, the rapidly growing boredom of this game being in limbo for the time being, a perpetual suffering I felt at the time had reached its climax. (16/150) Eventually, I had gotten Kamisato Ayaka, and although I did feel glad for finally having a Cryo DPS, there was also a sense of dread within me that I had just drained out my Yelan funds. https://preview.redd.it/qgurnqatr7la1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=c475ca4f9d26c165490eff7462d86be14f921790 (17/150) At the time, I will admit that I didn't have any money. I couldn't make the decision of spending a couple hundred dollars for my Yelan, which if I did I gladly would without hesitation, but the fact that I could just expounded the pain and fear I had for the upcoming future. I had to officially ask myself, What if I couldn't obtain Yelan? (18/150) The days after this event were pretty black and white in my experience. I had Kamisato Ayaka, so I began working on her, leveling her up and whatnot. But in my heart, there was still a sense of anxiety and dread for Yelan, but I kept trucking on and waiting patiently for my mommy to arrive. (19/150) I know nobody cares about this information, but in this month, I was about to graduate from highschool is just a span of a few days. At the time, even though there was no end in sight as to when Ayaka's banner would end, I had a good feeling that Yelan would come after my graduation. This made me insanely glad in a moment of despair, because that would mean I would finally be freed from the school system's grasp, and be able to fully dedicated my time to Yelan herself. (20/150) Then, the day finally came. The Version 2.7 "Hidden Dreams in the Depths" Trailer, had released on May 20th, 2022, and so did the special program, a day before my graduation date. It was almost as if Yelan was celebrating my big day before it came. This trailer revealed our first, official look at Yelan herself, and my excitement was boiling to its limits. (21/150) The beauty of Yelan in this trailer was absolutely breathtaking. The music, her reveal, her attack patterns, it was all just absolute perfection until Kuki Shinobu came on screen, then I was just disinterested but it was still a beautiful trailer nonetheless due to Yelan. (22/150) Now that there was an official date for Yelan to come out, my happiness and joy returned back into my life, and I waited eagerly until May 31st, 2022 for her to grace my arms. (23/150) Just watching Yelan's feet hit the ground aroused me to high heaven. I always wished Yelan could stomp on me just like that. I wish she could tie me up like she ties up those enemies. (24/150) The way she kicks her bow and pulls it back to her is stunning. It's one of the more unique attack animations I've seen. It easily beats Zhongli's polearm leg kick, she's amazing. (25/150) Watching Yelan perform her ultimate always brings me a flow of dopamine. The glowing blue threads surrounding her in her entirety, with that elegant pose is just too much for my little boyish mind to handle. (26/150) I gleefully watched the 2.7 Special Program in absolute happiness. Aside from the normal chatting cringe from the voice actors, just watching Yelan on screen was insanely mesmerizing. She looked wonderful and perfect. (27/150) I was so ready to experience my future Yelan inside of the Chasm, and inside of future gameplay. I wanted to traverse the whole world with her, I wanted her to see how much I loved her. (29/150) And when Yelan's banner officially started on May 31st, 2022, my journey immediately started, and I catapulted myself into any and every action that could give me primogems to obtain mommy. (30/150) I knew I only had until June 21, 2022 to obtain Yelan, but that thought never deterred me. I had to keep pushing, keep on trucking just for Yelan. (31/150) At this time in my life, I really didn't have much money in my hands, so I couldn't whale out and outright obtain Yelan if I wanted to. I never gave up however, I kept pushing with my hardship. (32/150) I speedran the entirety of the Chasm with my newly obtained Ayato and Ayaka, I sucked out every last primogem I could possibly find in that place, I did every event that came out that Version. (33/150) However, of course, all of this grinding didn't come with no reward. Yelan was in the current story quest, and that gave me so much material I needed for years to come. (34/150) I took a screenshot for every single time Yelan appeared on my screen. Even if it was just her talking, I still took a picture of it. I wanted every single piece of media she would be introduced into in this game, since I knew it wouldn't last forever. https://preview.redd.it/wj7ly8fur7la1.png?width=1738&format=png&auto=webp&s=2aac0f399a28645100a85f8e1c16685d8b48b6bb (35/150) I was nearly drooling at every entrance she made. Her beauty is just too shiny, too powerful, too omnipresent, I almost couldn't handle myself whilst playing the game a few times. (36/150) However, whilst I played through this story quest, I grew a severe dislike for Itto and Xiao? Why? Because of the way they spoke to Yelan. (37/150) They were just rude, disrespectful, and weren't listening to Yelan's advice nor orders. I don't know who they think they are, but they are NOT that special, at least to me. (38/150) Not only that, but how can you be in an area you're completely unfamiliar with, but refuse to respect an expert's knowledge and warnings? How much more ignorant can you be as a person, as to where you're speaking to Yelan as if you want to do bodily harm to her? Absolutely fucking preposterous and disgusting. (39/150) There is not even a reason why Arataki Itto and Kuki Shinobu are there in the first place. They are characters from Inazuma, far far away from Liyue. You mean to tell me the very first time they "visit" Liyue, they're in one of the deepest parts of the entire region? What sense does this make? (40/150) Oh I know why, it's because Kuki Shinobu released for the first time, correct? That still doesn't matter at all. How about you create an actual proper, understandable reason of why these characters that come from a nation COMPLETELY locked off by their Archon, are not only in Liyue, but in the fucking deepest part of the goddamn CHASM ITSELF. (41/150) And even after they miraculously gain the luxury of being in the Chasm and MEETING Yelan, the first thing they decide to do is disrespect her. Just terrible and infuriating. (42/150) As for Xiao however, although he was not being as outwardly rude to Yelan as Arataki Itto was, he still was not responding to any of her advice, even advice for his own safety he refused to adequately listen to. (43/150) But you know what, even after the blatant disrespect for Yelan by these three characters, I still love them because I did want a Xiao at one point, and I had gotten him, and I will admit that Arataki Itto's voice acting in story quests and events is some of the best, even though it is clearly topped by Yelan. (44/150) I didn't really care for Xiao's storyline during this patch, or at least I tried to care, but I was too busy daydreaming over Yelan everytime she appeared onto my screen. (45/150) The way Yelan saved the Traveler from those ghoulish spirits was absolutely MESMERIZING. The speed, the precision, the efficiency, and most importantly, the payoff. I almost couldn't contain myself when she did that. It was a pure dopamine hit. (46/150) After I had completed the 2.7 story quest, I immediately followed it up with Yelan's own personal story quest. I was so ready to see my momma in action. (47/150) Even if the story quest didn't primarily focus on her like every other story quest does, the mere fact that Yelan is in it, makes it become one of the greatest story quests to ever be released to this day. (48/150) I love how the story quest displayed just how intelligent Yelan is and how much she could be. She's so cunning, smart, mysterious, and slick, every moment of her was just mouth-candy, it was absolutely glorious. (49/150) The fact that Yelan successfully foiled Zhiyi's plans right under his noise was astonishing to say the least. It just goes to show how bright and powerful she is, such a sneaky little mommy right under his nose, and he doesn't even realize it. ZHIYI REALIZING HOW BEAUTIFUL YELAN IS (50/150) The way Yelan's bow and arrow gleams in the darkness, foreshadowing just how beautiful and shining of a woman she is, is almost too much for my heart. (51/150) After experiencing Yelan's story quest, I was just too stunned to even speak. I got so many beautiful, sexy shots of her in my folder from that story quest, it made me ecstatic! (52/150) However, this did not make me forget my most important mission of all, actually obtaining Yelan herself. I was still working tirelessly to obtain at least one copy of her. One copy was all I needed for the time being, as I knew I could do better in the future. (53/150) Everytime I pressed my F3 button, I stared at Yelan's banner for hours. I just loved her design, I loved how she looked, I loved the way she smiled at me... I loved every single feature of her, I couldn't resist her glance. (54/150) I would watch Yelan's demo for hours aswell. I adored every singular adosecond of it, every millisecond of her demo brought me pleasure and joy. https://preview.redd.it/o8aruuuwr7la1.png?width=1205&format=png&auto=webp&s=cb1559c8a1347b2d3c7bcc8794a965a2401bff5c (55/150) The smooth jazz was absolute ear-candy. It made her demo so particularly unique and different compared to everyone else's demos. The stylish lights revealing her voluptuous body, I could NOT get enough of it. (56/150) I fucking love how she abuses, and tortures these treasure hoarders. But I only wish she could do that to me. I personally don't believe these meager enemies who I slaughter on a daily basis with a tip of a 5 star character's attacks deserve any of Yelan's touching hands. >:( (57/150) Yet, the way she abuses and beats up these treasure hoarders brings a smile to my face. I want her to teach them a lesson, a lesson about not messing with Yelan, because Yelan will stomp your ass out if you even dare to interfere with her dealings. (58/150) At least Yelan didn't sit on any of their faces, then I would've been TRULY jealous. I mean, if she ever were to do that, I would be so angry! That should definitely be me, without argument, I deserve it more than they do! (59/150) Man, the way she wraps her lifeline around the treasure hoarder's neck is just so increduously sexy. He's such a lucky NPC to have that happen to him! Unfortunately, it couldn't happen to me, but that's okay because I know Yelan would love me more than him anyways. (60/150) I like how one treasure hoarder tried to snipe Yelan, but Yelan being the cunning master that she is, along with being one of the best bow users, immediately swings one treasure hoarder in front of her to stop the bow dead in its tracks. (61/150) And then of course, she does her ultimate pose. I always found that pose so scenic, so insanely wondrous and illustrious, it's my favorite stance in the entire game. https://preview.redd.it/8bfvxgf0s7la1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=ac3b3aba0ba6b101d1fbafb2fa1e87462b9ba239 (62/150) Even after her pose ends, that little sway she does with her hips afterwards is honestly so fucking sexy. I don't even know how Hoyoverse thought of a lady this seductive, but I'm 1,000% all for it! (63/150) all i can say is... IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME IT SHOULD'VE BEEN FUCKIN' MEEEEE (64/150) I'm not the type of person particularly interested in feet, but believe me if Yelan were to step on me like that, I would NEVER want it to end. (65/150) I would literally savor any point of physical contact with Yelan as much as I could, until the end of time even, it's an opportunity nobody should ever miss out on! (66/150) When I'm telling you I would do so much more for Yelan, I absolutely mean it. He's running at such a slow pace trying to carry her. Absolutely pathetic, I would be sprinting to whatever destination Yelan wanted me to be at for her. He needs to do better! SLOW ASS FUCKING TREASURE HOARDER, PATHETIC. (67/150) I'm letting my highly intrusive thoughts win here but I absolutely do not care, I want to know how that fucking seat smells omg. I want to know how any object smells after Yelan has sat on it. I would take a big, hearty sniff, I wouldn't be able to help myself. (68/150) It's the same situation for that chair she sat in during her story quest 🤤 🤤 The things I would do to this chair. I would take it back home with me and just start HUFFING. Nobody would be able to stop me haha! i want this chair in my teapot... (69/150) Everytime I look at Yelan's coat, I realize just how much more dangerous and savage she is since Yelan's coat is actually not hers, but instead a gift she stole from Fatui members that was meant to be for the Tsaritsa. She totally looks better in that coat however! (70/150) Honestly, if Yelan was real, I'd do nothing but poke her hip and leg windows first. Those things are just too lewd to be left unattended without a touch! (71/150) But let's get back to the real situation at hand. I had still yet to obtain Yelan on my account, since I was basically doing 1 wish at a time, I couldn't resist pulling for her whenever I could. I just NEEDED to get her. (72/150) And then, the day finally arrived. On June 6th 2022, at approximately 5:33PM, I obtained Yelan on my Genshin Impact account. My happiness, skyrocketed. My sadness, instantly faded away. The anxiety, depression, dread, every terrible emotion that overflowed my soul throughout the days beforehand, were completely wiped away by the pitch black silhouette of a rhombus-like shape presented unto my screen, that shape eventually illuminating in full color being Yelan herself. I couldn't be anymore happier in life, than I was at that moment, and I immediately thought about how much more I would enjoy playing this game with Yelan on my side. All the journeys we can go through, how we can explore the entirety of Sumeru together when it releases, it create such a spark in my heart that... tears started flowing from my eyes... and i finally gained the luxury of a peaceful rest. 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗 https://preview.redd.it/yevvbr14s7la1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=3820869e3a8a9f5c9a51bb056269b5551bcd2d3b (73/150) I immediately began exploring the lands with my newly acquired mommy, Yelan. I wanted her to see the sights, I wanted her to see Enkanomiya, Mondstadt, Liyue, Watatsumi Island, everything. (74/150) The amount of joy I had inside of my body at the time. Sometimes I do wish I could return back to all of it. I was so greatful and surprised that Yelan would come home. I had my fears that I'd lose the 50/50, that I wouldn't get her, but luckily, she wanted me aswell and came home into my arms. https://preview.redd.it/6zabs3x5s7la1.png?width=1051&format=png&auto=webp&s=bdef0a5589ffdc6e7030104b391efb5f281741be (75/150) Let me just expound upon how much I love the look of Yelan's ult animation. The way she begins to spin around into a spiral, and shoots a seductive look towards me as that glowing, bioluminescent dice spins around in her grasp, as she says "Here Comes The Catch!", or "Game's Up, Fun's Over!", or even "Things are about to get dicey." is utterly jaw-droppingly astounding. I love every gaze she takes upon me whenever she does it, I love the blue glare from my screen as she does so, warms up my heart to the highest heavens! 💘 https://preview.redd.it/kop5op17s7la1.png?width=1762&format=png&auto=webp&s=6a711bdd16262276a332fa74d0fb9188d54368e1 (76/150) I realized that she has these little spikes protruding from the top of her arm sleeves ☹️ What if they're poking her little armpits, those cute sexy sweaty armpits that I would love to take a quick lick out of! (77/150) I wonder what her bracelet tastes like, I bet it's so sweaty and smells exactly like her musk and or perfume. (78/150) Once I had finally gotten Yelan on my account, my life was at peace. No longer did I feel the need to desperately rush to obtain characters. In all honesty, any character that I pull from now on, will be from my own personal comfort, since they can never compare to the desperation that was getting Yelan. (79/150) I allowed the days to go on by, occasionally pondering if I should pull for an Aqua, or another copy of Yelan, but I decided not to, mainly because I could not afford it, but I was still at peace. (80/150) And then finally, on June 21st, 2022, Yelan's banner was officially about to come to its end, and although I had successfully obtained Yelan on my account, I still felt sad that she wouldn't grace my screen once more with the F3 key. (81/150) "Public Announcement As many of you are aware, Yelan will be leaving us within these next 22 hours. For some of us, it may take another day for her to leave, but in the end, she will be gone within these next 2 days. I would just like to announce the amount of appreciation I've had for this banner, and how much this banner has blessed us. Ignoring all of the 4 stars on this banner, Yelan is easily the best character in the entire game, and her banner by default is the best banner in the entire game due to her being in it. To all current Yelan havers, Congratulations on reaching your goals. You have succeeded in the highest possible way that I could ever imagine, and you should feel pride and honor by having Yelan on your account at this moment. For some of you however, who do not have Yelan due to a 50/50 loss, I am terribly sorry for your misfortune and I sincerely hope that the next banner that you wish on will gain an early pity for you. Even if that 5 star that you get isn't Yelan herself, as long as you originally wanted her in the first place, I wish you the greatest amount of luck on anybody that you choose to pull for next and I hope that Yelan's rerun will come once more for some of you who will stay determined to get her and save up. And for the rest of you who purposefully chose not to wish for Yelan on this cycle, I do not have any ill intentions towards you, but I am merely disappointed by your actions. I hope you see the error of your ways and join the right path towards getting this phenomenal woman on your account next time. Thank you all for your time, and have a wonderful day/night wherever you are, and as always, worship that armpit." (82/150) Even though I did not want Yelan to leave, as they say, if you truly love something, let it go. So, I decided to accept that Yelan was eventually leaving, as I knew me and her would meet once again. (83/150) I promised myself on that day, that the next time Yelan has a rerun, I WILL C6 her. I don't care how I'd be able to do it. Yelan deserves everything, and therefore, I will give her everything. (84/150) I had eventually farmed a decent, if not great Emblem set for her. I had given her Viridescent Hunt, mainly because her crit rate was a bit low. It worked out for the time being, and for being on a budget. (85/150) I eventually found myself never using Xingqiu again. I would only ever use Yelan, and Yelan only, because Yelan is better than Xingqiu by default. (86/150) I feel like Xingqiu was merely a blueprint for Yelan, a blueprint to create something better than him, which was her. She's sexier, more powerful, and just a better character overall 100% of the way! (87/150) I would put Yelan in every single one of my teams, since she'd work with everyone. She is truly the most useful mommy I've ever obtained, and she just adds the extra style to all of my teams. (88/150) The amount of fun I had with my newly acquired Yelan was out of this world. I just loved every second of tying enemies up, destroying them with my ult, wallowing in my Yelan's beauty! (89/150) Eventually, the newest GAA event had dropped that late summer. When Kazuha's rerun banner came, I had lost the 50/50, but I didn't care because I had Yelan. I made a truth to myself that my days of desperate wishing, were officially over. (90/150) I explored the islands with my Yelan. One of the things I loved the most about my Yelan, was how she worked expertly with my Hu Tao and Yoimiya. (91/150) I love my Hu Tao and Yoimiya, I've taken care of them long ago in the past, and now my Yelan helps them do numbers they almost never could do before. Yelan is not only taking care of me, but taking care of her teammates all the same! (92/150) Me and my Yelan saw some of the most beautiful sights. I had taken many pictures with her, but these sunset photos are my favorite. https://preview.redd.it/9hzu5zo8s7la1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=6321029634ad6036868ff6e77b184e0f67553848 https://preview.redd.it/udkofxxey7la1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=c956b6d2a8b9b874bc47854de5a314b83ed53395 (93/150) Whilst I was exploring the GAA islands with my Yelan, I grew inherently more furious at Fischl and Mona's islands. There are just ridiculous, and had too many puzzles. (94/150) I personally do not enjoy it whenever there are too many puzzles that need to be done in this game. I just want to kill things with my Yelan, and be done with it for the most part. I don't mind the occasional puzzle here and there, but this was just downright frustrating. (95/150) I felt as if, whenever I was on Mona's island, I couldn't even interact with something without it somehow being shoehorned into a puzzle. I felt as if I couldn't TOUCH anything, without potentially messing up something or an already existing puzzle. (96/150) Eventually, I grew too frustrated, and just decided to never finish Fischl and Mona's islands. I couldn't take the evergrowing frustration of constant mind-jogging puzzles and numerous guides I had to watch to figure out what the fuck to even do. (97/150) All I could do after this point, was stare at my Yelan, and kill enemies with her randomly in the overworld. It brought me back some peace into my soul in these hard times. (98/150) Sometimes, I enjoy just going on bouts of slaughter and killing in the overworld with my Yelan. I love showing the enemies the fury of the mommy. (99/150) Eventually, the GAA event was over, and it was onto the next journey, which was Sumeru. Me and Yelan both knew Sumeru was fastly approaching, and we were ready to take on all of it. (100/150) And then the day finally came, when Sumeru finally dropped. It was a new chapter for me and Yelan, but we would get through this chapter together, as a team, as a couple. https://preview.redd.it/j7id1h6ds7la1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=00ea696c82f9f7389ba3a719ca73a3ac86632ea9 (101/150) Unfortunately, during Version 3.0, I had to take an early leave during the exploration of Sumeru for career reasons. I had to travel away from my home, away from my computer, which was the only real place I could fully experience Yelan. (102/150) Due to this sudden departure, I was away from Yelan for 4-5 MONTHS!!! IT WAS UNBELIEVABLE, I ALMOST COULDN'T MENTALLY HANDLE BEING AWAY FROM HER FOR THAT LONG. I was suffering so incredibly hard, but I suffered in silence. (103/150) I knew however, that once I was finished with what I had to do, I could go back to my home, and I could return back to Yelan! I just had to wait a little bit longer, wait for the hope that would eventually shower me in the near future. (104/150) During these 4-5 months that I was away from Yelan, I consistently thought about her in order to ease my anxiousness with the whole experience. She was my primary coping mechanism. (105/150) As I was away from my home, I still continuously checked upon the state of the game, and who was out on the banners whilst I was away. (106/150) I had realized I missed everyone who released during 3.1 - 3.3, which really wasn't that much of a huge deal. Maybe I would've wanted to obtain an Albedo, but it didn't jar me too much of this news. (107/150) But then... I saw it. MY MOMMY YELAN WAS HAVING A RERUN IN VERSION 3.4!!! I was absolutely ecstatic to see her come back... but then I realized... I didn't know when I would be back home... (108/150) At the time, I was in a state of limbo, I needed to get back home, and I was working on it all the day, it just took some time, but I didn't know how much time it would take for me to make it back home in time for Yelan. (109/150) So then I desperately checked the Paimon.Moe timeline, I HAD to see if I could make it, because I HAD to make it. I needed to make it, I couldn't possibly dare to miss her banner. (110/150) And after copious amounts of depserate research, and sweat-inducing anxiety broiling deep within my guts, I had realized that Yelan's banner would start on February 7th, 2023, and at this point in my career, I realized that according to my calculations, I would be back home in the timeframe of Yelan's rerun banner! (111/150) I was so relieved and happy that I would have a chance to come back home permanently as soon as my mommy's banner returns! It was almost like it was fate. I had missed every banner from 3.0 up until 3.4, with the exception of obtaining Wanderer and Raiden Shogun during a break, but now I wouldn't be binded by anything anymore when I came back, I would finally be able to indulge in Yelan once more! (112/150) And to my personal grace, I finally returned back home on February 10th, 2023. Only three days after Yelan's rerun banner officially released, and I was IMMEDIATELY READY. (113/150) As soon as I got back home from the plane flight, I hurriedly got to work. At this point and time, I actually saved up quite a bit of money in my account from my endeavors in my career. (114/150) So since I had this saved up money, what was the more better way to spend half of it, EXCEPT TO SPEND IT FOR YELAN??? (115/150) I INSTANTANEOUSLY STARTED WISHING, and wishing, and wishing, AND WISHING EVEN MORE. First, I started with the weapon banner to secure my mommy her legendary Aqua Simulacra, which I obtained in a hasty manner. (along with a Staff of Homa and Wolf's Gravestone but those don't matter for now) (116/150) Then, after I finished this surprisingly quick, and more than rewarding task, I got to work preparing to obtain C6 Yelan. I was in so much of a rush, I didn't even put on her theme while wishing! I just bought more and more Genesis Crystals to fuel my goal. (117/150) And then, after a total of only 10 minutes of wishing, I had officially obtain, a C6 Yelan. I was absolutely joyful and ecstatic, I couldn't BELIEVE that I was able to C6 Yelan, yet alone C6 a 5 star ever in the history of my entire Genshin Impact account! (118/150) I genuinely never thought I'd be able to C6 Yelan so soon, to be able to C6 a 5 star this early in my account. I was the happiest man in the world. It was the first time I ever, "whaled", on a banner and it was completely worth ! (119/150) I have noticed that Reddit does not allow more than 20 images in a post alone, which is greatly disappointing as I had so much more media to share to you all in this increduously long post, and I didn't want the thread to just be barebone text, but I suppose it has to be that way for now. I will however upload my last image, giving proof of my C6 Yelan. 💖 https://preview.redd.it/fjjh1p9fs7la1.png?width=570&format=png&auto=webp&s=48d4f71c49e49ac2ce52982812d35c508b761ccc (120/150) When I tell you that obtaining a C6 Yelan mommy was the best choice in my entire life, I FUCKING MEAN IT. (121/150) She was absolute perfection REINCARNATE. The power she wielded at the tip of her fingers was so wild, so expeditious that I couldn't even believe my own eyes! (122/150) Now I'm not a numbers type of individual, I only care about being able to kill an enemy in a relatively speedy manner, I'm not going for any one-shots or the highest crit pops of all time, I'm just not that type of individual. Need I also mention that I barely understand the actual game and character mechanics that essentially allows said character to do what they do. (123/150) However, my Yelan was an absolute MONSTER. At least in my own eyes she was. She was just clapping everything by herself, every enemy that wasn't solely Hydro-based, was getting destroyed by her. She was carrying my whole team ten-fold now! (124/150) I never even knew how good a C6 Yelan was beforehand, I just knew I HAD to C6 her because she deserve it fucking all, but I never expected her to be this monstrous. She is EASILY one of the best characters to have at C6! (125/150) I don't even know she does it. It's like one moment, I activate her Ult, and then the NEXT moment, I attack a singular time and the enemy is dead or on the brink of death itself! (126/150) I realized that my Yelan could now solo almost anything she wanted to, she didn't even need her teammates to assist her anymore. (127/150) My only regret is not R5'ing her Aqua Simulacra. I understand that my love for Yelan is a pillar, one of the highest pillars of anything ever created in reality and fiction. (128/150) However, I just knew that trying to R5 an Aqua Simulacra with only 3k in my bank account was... doable, but it would truly be too much of a sacrifice of money itself. (129/150) I have to wait until I have way more money on my hands for me to even make the financial decision of R5'ing Yelan mommy's Aqua Simulacra, but I'm holding off for now. (130/150) And you may be asking, why not just spend almost all of my money to R5 Yelan mommy's Aqua Simulacra? If you worship and love her so much, why don't you sacrifice something so valuable just to give her what she wants? (131/150) Well, the simple answer to that question is, I need more. What does this mean exactly? This means that my only goal is not R5'ing Aqua Simulacra. (132/150) My goal, in the foreseeable future, is to be able to afford and purchase every. single. Yelan-inspired merchandise that can ever be sold on any and every shop that sells them. (133/150) I'm talking Yelan body pillows, Yelan posters, Yelan figurines, Yelan cardboard cutouts, Yelan bedsheets, Yelan rugs, Yelan doormats, Yelan keychains, Yelan plushies, Yelan mugs, Yelan dishes, Yelan car decorations (or paint), Yelan candles (A Yelan candle does actually exist), Yelan keycaps for my keyboard, Yelan wigs, Yelan cosplay outfits, Life-sized Yelan statue, Yelan dolls, Yelan stickers for anything in my house, Yelan-designed PC, Yelan deskmat, Yelan toys, Discord Nitro for my concurrent Yelan profile background, Yelan hoodies, Yelan shirts, Yelan shoes, and so much more. (134/150) I needed the money to have the mere potential of achieving these goals. I wanted my future cave to be completely outfitted, with all things Yelan-orientated. I want to wake up in the morning and see Yelan all around me, every single day. (135/150) And this is exactly why I chose not to R5 Aqua Simulacra in these times. It's not because I don't have true love for Yelan, it's not because I'm completely broke, it's because I may need this money in the distant future to be able to express my love for Yelan more than anyone else can. (136/150) But in the end, it didn't matter, at least for now. I know my Yelan is happy with me. Spending 1.3k for her was nothing. I knew I needed to do it, I made it an immediate goal as soon as I got back whilst I was away. It was destined to occur. (137/150) And at least I fulfilled my promise to Yelan. The promise that I WILL C6 her on her next rerun banner. I would NEVER, EVER break a promise to Yelan. (138/150) I know that as some of you are reading this, you may be wondering, how good is this guy's Yelan actually? If he's the biggest Yelan worshipper in the history of this game, then his Yelan should be the best? Right? (139/150) I am never afraid to admit my faults as a person. I feel like the problem with most human beings, is that they have a very hard time admitting to their own fault in situations. They lie, and gaslight individuals into believing that they have done no fault so that way they themselves cannot be held guilty by others or feel guilt naturally within themselves. (140/150) So with this being said, I am not afraid to admit that my Yelan is indeed, probably not the best compared to everyone else's. This is for multiple reasons. (141/150) 1. I have already stated that I am not the type to care about the biggest numbers in the game, I just like killing things relatively quickly, therefore I am not a minmaxer or anything like that of the sorts. (142/150) 2. Although I do not know the population of individuals who also main Yelan, I do know however that there will always, always be an individual out there who is better than me. Most likely not better at me with expressing their infinite love for Yelan, but most likely someone with a Yelan with actual better stats than mine, and I accept this since I cannot be perfect, which brings me to my last reason. (143/150) 3. I have absolutely, no control over artifact luck. I won't get into it, because we all know about it already, and have all felt it. My Yelan simply needs a bit more crit rate, but I lack an artifact that can fulfill that role, without disrupting my 4pc Emblem set, giving me more Energy Recharge. Therefore, the only action I can do is keep farming for an Emblem piece that will fulfill that role, which is something that I will never be able to determine when it will make its arrival. (144/150) Therefore, before you decide to judge my account for whatever inconsistencies you find within my Yelan, just understand firstly that you are a person who is not seeing that I am a man who cannot control things that are uncontrollable. The only thing I can do, is try, and I will try hard. (145/150) Now, as I am typing all of this information, I have come to realize that I am very soon approaching the Reddit word limit. This is very saddening, however this post has not been in vain. (146/150) As I am currently typing this, me and my Yelan are gleefully happy together, exploring Sumeru, going through quests, she will always be my sole mommy and my only lover for all time! I have also recently been engaged to Yelan herself! There is no current date for the wedding, but I am absolutely ecstatic to be with her in the near future! (147/150) My unstoppable love for Yelan will never end. Her mysterious nature, danger-loving personality, sneaky little body destroying every single one of her enemies will always be the magnum opus to my life, my soul, and my happiness! (148/150) Even if you do not understand the love I have for my Yelan, that will never matter to me because I know how precious Yelan is more than anyone else. I've sacrificed my closest friends just to be with her because they could never understand. The only person I care about in this world is Yelan herself. (149/150) My journey throughout this entire game, has all culminated into obtain my C6 Yelan, a feat that has made my worries and anxiety drift away in the wind, I no longer feel the desperation, the sadness of not being able to obtain who I want. Because even if I don't, even if I try my hardest and don't succeed, I will always know that Yelan will always be there for me, and that's all I'll ever need in my heart. (150/150) And Yelan, if you are somehow reading this from inside of the game itself.. I just want you to know that I will Always love you no matter what, no matter how the game turns out in the future, and no matter who released after you, I will always have you by my side, just like you always have my side when I log in, you are everything I've ever wanted in a person, in a character, in a wife. I'm so glad that you exist today in my eyes, you are the most precious person I have ever laid my eyes upon, and I will let the whole world know time and time again just how beautiful you can be so that way people will understand, and they will know who you are because you deserve to be known by everyone who meets you. I love you, Yelan. 💖💖💖 https://preview.redd.it/dzpyn0wgr7la1.png?width=1170&format=png&auto=webp&s=257c9321a8a1af69b582c4f22dd9ba97e12c0353 |
2023.02.10 20:59 OneEyedTurkey [H] Games [W] Offers
OFFER HERE FIRST
New games that I havent organized lately:
Shadow Warrior 2
Buddy Simulator 1984
Call of Juarez:
Street racing Syndicate
Mini metro
Resident Evil Village - Trauma Pack
Surviving Mars - Deluxe Edition
Evil Genius
The Walking Dead: Season Two
Tomb Raider and the Temple of Osiris, + Tomb Raider and the Guardian of Light (One Key)
System Shock Enhanced Edition
Project HVN
Trine 4: The Nightmare Prince
AUTONAUTS
Nintendo Switch games (North America region): Feather and Dirt Trackin 2
Steam Gifts
911 Operator
Action Henk:
AI War: Fleet Command
Arma X: Anniversary Edition
Ashes of the Singularity: Escalation
Brutal Legend/Brütal Legend
Carrier Command: Gaea Mission
Fairy Tale About Father Frost, Ivan and Nastya
Fidel - Dungeon Rescue
Maize
My memory of us
Pathologic Classic HD
Shoppe Keep
Solarix
Sonic and SEGA All Stars Racing
Star Wars Rebellion™/STAR WARS™ Rebellion/STAR WARS Rebellion
Take On Helicopters
Take On Mars
Tiny Echo
The Flame in the Flood
Thoth:
Train Valley
Wasted:
Western Press
Western Press Mk Cans II Character DLC
Steam Keys
Aurion: Legacy of the Kori-Odan
Basingstoke
Broken Age
Deponia Doomsday
Dinocide
Dusty Revenge: Co-Op Edition
Dungeons 3
Epistory – Typing Chronicles
Everything
Freedom Force
Freedom Planet
Grid Autosport Drag Pack
GUILTY GEAR Xrd -SIGN-
Hitman 2: Silent Assassin
HoPiko
I’m Not a Monster x2
Kona
Last Day of June
Love is Dead
Mages of Mystralia
Metrico+
Montas
Monster Loves You(x2)
Morphblade(x3):
No Time to Explain Remastered
Okhlos
Oxenfree
Punch Club
Rive
Road to Ballhalla
Satellite Reign
Seasons After Fall
Secret of the Magic Crystals Complete
Sid Meier's Civilization® V: Gods and Kings DLC(Not available in: AM AZ BR BY CU GE IR KG KP KZ MD MM RU SY TJ TM UA UZ)
Sins of a Solar Empire: Trinity®
Sir You are Being Hunted
Slime-San
Snake Pass
Sonic the Hedgehog 4 - Episode I
Space Run Galaxy
Steredenn(x2)
STRIDER™ / ストライダー飛竜®
Super Rude Bear Resurrection
System Shock Pack
TattleTail
Tempest: Pirate Action RPG
Turok
Hidden Folks:
Offworld Trading Company base game
Offworld Trading Company: Jupiter's Forge Expansion Pack
The Swapper
TransOcean: The Shipping Company
Steam Keys
11-11 Memories Retold
12 is better than 6
7 Wonders: Magical Mystery Tour
Aarklash: Legacy
Absconding Zatwor + Break Into Zatwor + Fiends of Imprisonment
Abyss Odyssey:
Acceleration of Suguri 2
Aegis Defenders
AER Memories of Old
Agatha Christie - The ABC Murders:
Age of Wonders III:
Air Conflicts: Secret Wars:
Alien Breed: Impact
alien Soldier
Apocalipsis
Anomaly Warzone Earth Mobile Campaign
Asdivine Hearts:
Ascent - The Space
Aurion: Legacy of the Kori-Odan
Badland Game of the Year:
Battlerite Magic Moonlight Carpet DLC
Battlerite Deathstalker Scorpion Mount
Battlerite’s Ashka Champion
Beholder
Better late than dead:
Blackguards 2:
BLACKHOLE: Complete Edition/ BLACKHOLE Complete Edition
Blake Stone: Planet Strike
Brain in my Head
Capitalism 2
CLUB MANAGER 2015:
CORPORATE LIFESTYLE SIMULATOR(x2)
Car Simulator 2014:
Chroma Squad
Club Manager 2016
Comic Zone
Company of Heroes 2
company of heroes 2 - Southern Fronts DLC
Concurrency
Cook, Serve, Delicious!
Cortex Command(x2):
Cubicle Quest:
Cryofall
Dangerous High School Girls in Trouble
DarkScavenger
Deadly Profits:
Death's Gambit
Deponia Doomsday:
Dirt Rally
DinoCide:(x2)
Distant Worlds: Universe($30) steam key
Don't Let go!
Dusty Revenge:Co-Op Edition
Dwarflings
Endless Legend - Echoes of Auriga Add-on
Endless Space® - Collection/Endless Space Collection/Endless Space - Collection
Elegy for a Dead World:
Else heart.break()
Epic Battle Fantasy 4:
Evergarden
Expansion - Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
F.E.X (Forced Evolution Experiment)
F1 2015
F1 2018
Figment
Flame in the Flood
Flat heroes:
Fortified
Four Kings One War - Virtual Reality
Freedom Force vs Third Reich:
Freedom Force:
Fungi
Galactic Civilizations II: Ultimate Edition
Gimbal
Go Go Electric Samurai
golden Axe II
Goocublets 2
Grave Prosperity: Redux- part 1
Gravity Badgers:
Grip: Combat Racing
Guacamelee Gold:
Gunmetal Arcadia Zero
Guns of Icarus: alliance
Guns of Icarus Alliance Costume Pack
Hacknet Deluxe( BAse game + OST)
HackyZack
Headlander
Heli Heroes
Hitman 2: silent assassin
Hitman: Codename 47
HomeFront
Hopiko:
IBomber Defense Pacific:
Innerspace
Interplanetary: Enhanced Edition
Invisigun heroes
Ion Assault:
Iron Sky: Invasion
JQ Dogs & Cats
Kathy Rain
Kero Blaster
Killer is Dead - Nightmare Edition:
Kingdom: Classic
Kingdom: Classic
Knights and Merchants
Knightshift:
Knives and Troops 2 Knifpocalypse
Labyronia RPG
Layers of Fear
Layers of Fear - Soundtrack
Lead and Gold: Gangs of the Wild West
Legrand LEGACY: Tale of the Fatebounds
Lethal League
Let’s Draw:
Luna’s Wandering Star
Maize
Manual Samuel
Mars or Die!
Majesty 2 Collection
Massive Chalice:
Men of War: Assault Squad GOTY
Merchants of Kaidan:
Millennium- A New Hope:
Miner Wars 2081
Miner Wars Arena
Mini Ninjas
Mini Submarine Attack:
Minit
momodora: Reverie Under the Moonlight
Monster Slayers
Monsti:
Morphblade
Moto Racer 4
Multimirror-
Murdered Soul Suspect
Mushroom 11:
Nam:
Night of the Rabbit
No Time TO explain Remastered!
Offroad Mania
One Finger Death Punch
Orwell: Keeping an Eye On You
Outlast
OVER MY DEAD PIXEL
Overgrowth
Overture
Paper Monster Recut:
Paratopic
PARADIGM
Pixel Puzzles 2: Anime
Pressure:
Project Hovercraft
Psychonauts:
Psychonauts in the Rhombus of Ruin
Punch Club
Q.U.B.E. Director’s Cut
Rage Parking Simulator 2016:
Ravensword: Shadowlands:
Rebel Galaxy:
Regions of Ruin
Rising Storm Game of the Year
Road to Ballhalla
Room's Main building:
Rush Bros:
Rush for Glory!:
Rymdresa:
SanctuaryRPG: Black Edition(x2)
Sanctum 2
Saturday morning RPG
Savage Lands:
Serial Cleaner
Septerra Core
Shadow Warrior Special Edition
Shadowrun Returns:
Shadowrun Returns Deluxe
Shadows: Price for Our Sins Bonus Edition:
Sheltered(x2)
Shiness: The Lightning Kingdom
Shining Force
shogun 2 Blood Pack
Sins of a Solar Empire: Rebellion
Sir You are Being Hunted
Skyborn
Sonic Adventure DX
Sonic CD
Sorcerer King: rivals
Space Run Galaxy
SPACECOM:
Sparkle 2
Sparkle 2 Evo:
Splasher
Sproggiwood:
STAR WARS™ Empire at War - Gold Pack or Star Wars Empire at War Gold pack
STAR WARS™ Jedi Knight - Jedi Academy™
Starward Rogue:
Street Racing Syndicate
Streets of Red: Devil's Dare Deluxe
Surfingers
Survive in Space:
Sweet Candy Mahjong
Syberia 1
Syberia 1
Take on Helicopters:
Teleglitch: Die More Edition
Tharsis:
The Bard's Tale IV: Director's Cut. (includes The Bard's Tale Trilogy)
The Blue Flamingo
The Bureau: XCOM Declassified
The Guild II Collection:
The Red Solstice:
The Swapper:
Timberman:
Time Recoil
Tis-100:
Total War Attila: blood and burning
Total War Rome II: Blood and Gore
Torchlight 2 or Torchlight II
Tormentor❌Punisher
Tower of Guns
Tumblestone
Turok 2: Seeds of Evil
Two Worlds + Strategy Guide
Two Worlds II Castle Defense:
Two Worlds II
Unbox
Vera Swings
Vertiginous golf
Violett Remastered
Waddle
Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine
Way of Redemption
Western Press + Western Press Mk Cans II Character DLC
Winged Knights:
Witch's Prank: Frog's Fortune Collectors Edition
World of Goo
Wurm unlimited:
Xcom UFO Defense:
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 3
Z(the game):
Zombie Bowl O Rama:
[WANT]
OFFERS
submitted by OneEyedTurkey to indiegameswap [link] [comments]
New games that I havent organized lately:
Shadow Warrior 2
Buddy Simulator 1984
Call of Juarez:
Street racing Syndicate
Mini metro
Resident Evil Village - Trauma Pack
Surviving Mars - Deluxe Edition
Evil Genius
The Walking Dead: Season Two
Tomb Raider and the Temple of Osiris, + Tomb Raider and the Guardian of Light (One Key)
System Shock Enhanced Edition
Project HVN
Trine 4: The Nightmare Prince
AUTONAUTS
Nintendo Switch games (North America region): Feather and Dirt Trackin 2
Steam Gifts
- Deadlight
- Dino D-Day
- Overture
- PARTICLE MACE
- Startopia
- Uncrowded/Unknown package 67613 (Removed from steam store)
911 Operator
Action Henk:
AI War: Fleet Command
Arma X: Anniversary Edition
Ashes of the Singularity: Escalation
Brutal Legend/Brütal Legend
Carrier Command: Gaea Mission
Fairy Tale About Father Frost, Ivan and Nastya
Fidel - Dungeon Rescue
Maize
My memory of us
Pathologic Classic HD
Shoppe Keep
Solarix
Sonic and SEGA All Stars Racing
Star Wars Rebellion™/STAR WARS™ Rebellion/STAR WARS Rebellion
Take On Helicopters
Take On Mars
Tiny Echo
The Flame in the Flood
Thoth:
Train Valley
Wasted:
Western Press
Western Press Mk Cans II Character DLC
Steam Keys
Aurion: Legacy of the Kori-Odan
Basingstoke
Broken Age
Deponia Doomsday
Dinocide
Dusty Revenge: Co-Op Edition
Dungeons 3
Epistory – Typing Chronicles
Everything
Freedom Force
Freedom Planet
Grid Autosport Drag Pack
GUILTY GEAR Xrd -SIGN-
Hitman 2: Silent Assassin
HoPiko
I’m Not a Monster x2
Kona
Last Day of June
Love is Dead
Mages of Mystralia
Metrico+
Montas
Monster Loves You(x2)
Morphblade(x3):
No Time to Explain Remastered
Okhlos
Oxenfree
Punch Club
Rive
Road to Ballhalla
Satellite Reign
Seasons After Fall
Secret of the Magic Crystals Complete
Sid Meier's Civilization® V: Gods and Kings DLC(Not available in: AM AZ BR BY CU GE IR KG KP KZ MD MM RU SY TJ TM UA UZ)
Sins of a Solar Empire: Trinity®
Sir You are Being Hunted
Slime-San
Snake Pass
Sonic the Hedgehog 4 - Episode I
Space Run Galaxy
Steredenn(x2)
STRIDER™ / ストライダー飛竜®
Super Rude Bear Resurrection
System Shock Pack
TattleTail
Tempest: Pirate Action RPG
Turok
Hidden Folks:
Offworld Trading Company base game
Offworld Trading Company: Jupiter's Forge Expansion Pack
The Swapper
TransOcean: The Shipping Company
Steam Keys
11-11 Memories Retold
12 is better than 6
7 Wonders: Magical Mystery Tour
Aarklash: Legacy
Absconding Zatwor + Break Into Zatwor + Fiends of Imprisonment
Abyss Odyssey:
Acceleration of Suguri 2
Aegis Defenders
AER Memories of Old
Agatha Christie - The ABC Murders:
Age of Wonders III:
Air Conflicts: Secret Wars:
Alien Breed: Impact
alien Soldier
Apocalipsis
Anomaly Warzone Earth Mobile Campaign
Asdivine Hearts:
Ascent - The Space
Aurion: Legacy of the Kori-Odan
Badland Game of the Year:
Battlerite Magic Moonlight Carpet DLC
Battlerite Deathstalker Scorpion Mount
Battlerite’s Ashka Champion
Beholder
Better late than dead:
Blackguards 2:
BLACKHOLE: Complete Edition/ BLACKHOLE Complete Edition
Blake Stone: Planet Strike
Brain in my Head
Capitalism 2
CLUB MANAGER 2015:
CORPORATE LIFESTYLE SIMULATOR(x2)
Car Simulator 2014:
Chroma Squad
Club Manager 2016
Comic Zone
Company of Heroes 2
company of heroes 2 - Southern Fronts DLC
Concurrency
Cook, Serve, Delicious!
Cortex Command(x2):
Cubicle Quest:
Cryofall
Dangerous High School Girls in Trouble
DarkScavenger
Deadly Profits:
Death's Gambit
Deponia Doomsday:
Dirt Rally
DinoCide:(x2)
Distant Worlds: Universe($30) steam key
Don't Let go!
Dusty Revenge:Co-Op Edition
Dwarflings
Endless Legend - Echoes of Auriga Add-on
Endless Space® - Collection/Endless Space Collection/Endless Space - Collection
Elegy for a Dead World:
Else heart.break()
Epic Battle Fantasy 4:
Evergarden
Expansion - Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
F.E.X (Forced Evolution Experiment)
F1 2015
F1 2018
Figment
Flame in the Flood
Flat heroes:
Fortified
Four Kings One War - Virtual Reality
Freedom Force vs Third Reich:
Freedom Force:
Fungi
Galactic Civilizations II: Ultimate Edition
Gimbal
Go Go Electric Samurai
golden Axe II
Goocublets 2
Grave Prosperity: Redux- part 1
Gravity Badgers:
Grip: Combat Racing
Guacamelee Gold:
Gunmetal Arcadia Zero
Guns of Icarus: alliance
Guns of Icarus Alliance Costume Pack
Hacknet Deluxe( BAse game + OST)
HackyZack
Headlander
Heli Heroes
Hitman 2: silent assassin
Hitman: Codename 47
HomeFront
Hopiko:
IBomber Defense Pacific:
Innerspace
Interplanetary: Enhanced Edition
Invisigun heroes
Ion Assault:
Iron Sky: Invasion
JQ Dogs & Cats
Kathy Rain
Kero Blaster
Killer is Dead - Nightmare Edition:
Kingdom: Classic
Kingdom: Classic
Knights and Merchants
Knightshift:
Knives and Troops 2 Knifpocalypse
Labyronia RPG
Layers of Fear
Layers of Fear - Soundtrack
Lead and Gold: Gangs of the Wild West
Legrand LEGACY: Tale of the Fatebounds
Lethal League
Let’s Draw:
Luna’s Wandering Star
Maize
Manual Samuel
Mars or Die!
Majesty 2 Collection
Massive Chalice:
Men of War: Assault Squad GOTY
Merchants of Kaidan:
Millennium- A New Hope:
Miner Wars 2081
Miner Wars Arena
Mini Ninjas
Mini Submarine Attack:
Minit
momodora: Reverie Under the Moonlight
Monster Slayers
Monsti:
Morphblade
Moto Racer 4
Multimirror-
Murdered Soul Suspect
Mushroom 11:
Nam:
Night of the Rabbit
No Time TO explain Remastered!
Offroad Mania
One Finger Death Punch
Orwell: Keeping an Eye On You
Outlast
OVER MY DEAD PIXEL
Overgrowth
Overture
Paper Monster Recut:
Paratopic
PARADIGM
Pixel Puzzles 2: Anime
Pressure:
Project Hovercraft
Psychonauts:
Psychonauts in the Rhombus of Ruin
Punch Club
Q.U.B.E. Director’s Cut
Rage Parking Simulator 2016:
Ravensword: Shadowlands:
Rebel Galaxy:
Regions of Ruin
Rising Storm Game of the Year
Road to Ballhalla
Room's Main building:
Rush Bros:
Rush for Glory!:
Rymdresa:
SanctuaryRPG: Black Edition(x2)
Sanctum 2
Saturday morning RPG
Savage Lands:
Serial Cleaner
Septerra Core
Shadow Warrior Special Edition
Shadowrun Returns:
Shadowrun Returns Deluxe
Shadows: Price for Our Sins Bonus Edition:
Sheltered(x2)
Shiness: The Lightning Kingdom
Shining Force
shogun 2 Blood Pack
Sins of a Solar Empire: Rebellion
Sir You are Being Hunted
Skyborn
Sonic Adventure DX
Sonic CD
Sorcerer King: rivals
Space Run Galaxy
SPACECOM:
Sparkle 2
Sparkle 2 Evo:
Splasher
Sproggiwood:
STAR WARS™ Empire at War - Gold Pack or Star Wars Empire at War Gold pack
STAR WARS™ Jedi Knight - Jedi Academy™
Starward Rogue:
Street Racing Syndicate
Streets of Red: Devil's Dare Deluxe
Surfingers
Survive in Space:
Sweet Candy Mahjong
Syberia 1
Syberia 1
Take on Helicopters:
Teleglitch: Die More Edition
Tharsis:
The Bard's Tale IV: Director's Cut. (includes The Bard's Tale Trilogy)
The Blue Flamingo
The Bureau: XCOM Declassified
The Guild II Collection:
The Red Solstice:
The Swapper:
Timberman:
Time Recoil
Tis-100:
Total War Attila: blood and burning
Total War Rome II: Blood and Gore
Torchlight 2 or Torchlight II
Tormentor❌Punisher
Tower of Guns
Tumblestone
Turok 2: Seeds of Evil
Two Worlds + Strategy Guide
Two Worlds II Castle Defense:
Two Worlds II
Unbox
Vera Swings
Vertiginous golf
Violett Remastered
Waddle
Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine
Way of Redemption
Western Press + Western Press Mk Cans II Character DLC
Winged Knights:
Witch's Prank: Frog's Fortune Collectors Edition
World of Goo
Wurm unlimited:
Xcom UFO Defense:
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 3
Z(the game):
Zombie Bowl O Rama:
[WANT]
OFFERS
2023.02.09 18:23 AnakinAlex 100+ Steam Games to give away
Hello everyone,
so I decided that it is time to clear my Humble account and give away all stored keys.
You can participate in the giveaway by commenting your top 3 game choices, preferably sorted by priority. You will have the chance to participate for one week.
The giveaway will end onThursday, February 16th, 18:00 CET Wednesday, February 15th, 19:00 CET and no new comments will be accepted after that time.
I will announce and contact the winners startingFriday, February 17th, 18:00 CET.
Please be aware, that I cannot 100% guarantee that every key will work. Some of these are quite old and none of the game keys have been revealed yet.
EDIT: Since I used Reddit's tabel tool, on the mobile app it looks like there is only one coloumn. There's three actually!
EDIT 2:All games that have zero entries yet are bold.
EDIT 3: All games have now at least one entry.
EDIT 4:
Hey again everyone,
it is now Wednesday, February 15th, 19:00 CET and I'm writing this now, because I have to end the giveaway one day earlier than expected due to some personal circumstances this friday which I wasn't aware of last week. Sorry to everyone who couldn't participate in time and thank you all for participating! Honestly I wasn't expecting this big response and I'm really glad to have found players for all my games.
I will now start to draw the winners and will be contacting you soon (if you got lucky of course)!
Here's the list of games:
I wish everyone best of luck!
submitted by AnakinAlex to steam_giveaway [link] [comments]
so I decided that it is time to clear my Humble account and give away all stored keys.
You can participate in the giveaway by commenting your top 3 game choices, preferably sorted by priority. You will have the chance to participate for one week.
The giveaway will end on
I will announce and contact the winners starting
Please be aware, that I cannot 100% guarantee that every key will work. Some of these are quite old and none of the game keys have been revealed yet.
EDIT: Since I used Reddit's tabel tool, on the mobile app it looks like there is only one coloumn. There's three actually!
EDIT 2:
EDIT 3: All games have now at least one entry.
EDIT 4:
Hey again everyone,
it is now Wednesday, February 15th, 19:00 CET and I'm writing this now, because I have to end the giveaway one day earlier than expected due to some personal circumstances this friday which I wasn't aware of last week. Sorry to everyone who couldn't participate in time and thank you all for participating! Honestly I wasn't expecting this big response and I'm really glad to have found players for all my games.
I will now start to draw the winners and will be contacting you soon (if you got lucky of course)!
Here's the list of games:
| 140 | 2Dark | 7,62 Hard Life |
|---|---|---|
| 8 Doors | 911 Operator | A Plague Tale: Innocence |
| A Year of Rain | Aarklash: Legacy | ADOM |
| Adventure Time: Pirates of the Enchiridion | AER Memories of Old | Age of Wonders III |
| Ageless | An Airport for Aliens Currently Run By Dogs | Atom RPG Trudograd |
| Aven Colony | Banners of Ruin | Batman - The Telltale Series |
| Ben 10 | Between The Stars | Bloodstained: RotN |
| Broken Age (x2) | Brütal Legend | Call of the Sea |
| Carrier Command: Gaea Mission | Cepheus Protocol | Codex of Victory |
| Colt Canyon | Creed: Rise ot Glory | Crew 167 |
| Crowntakers | Crying Suns | Cyber Hook |
| Day of the Tentacle Remastered | Dead Island GOTY | Deadly 30 |
| Deadly Days | Deleveled | Detention |
| Devil's Hunt | Dog Sled Saga | Doodle Derby |
| Double Fine Adventure | Downwell | Dub Dash |
| Eldest Souls | Emily is away <3 | Encased |
| Endless Space 2 | Endzone - A World Apart | Epic Manager |
| Evoland | Farmer's Dynasty | Fire: Ungh's Quest |
| Football Manager 2020 | FTL | Gamedec |
| Genesis Noir | Gift of Parthax | GNOG |
| Grip: Combat Racing | HACK G.U. LAST RECODE | Haimrik |
| Hammerting | Heavy Rain | I Am Fish |
| If Found | In Between | In Other Waters |
| Ken Follett's Pillars of the Earth | Killing Floor Incursion | Kingdom Two Crowns |
| Knight Squad | Lacuna | Lead and Gold: GotWW |
| Legend of Keepers | Legion TD2 | Lego Marvel Super Heroes |
| Levelhead | Love Letter | Lovecraft's Untold Stories |
| Mafia 3: Definitive Edition | Meridian Squad 22 | Midnight Protocol |
| Mind Scanner | MirrorMoon EP | Miscreated |
| Morbid: The Seven Acolytes | My Memory of Us | Nimbatus |
| No Time to Explain Remastered | Nowhere Prophet | Observer |
| One Step from Eden | Overgrowth | Overlord II |
| Pac Man 256 | Paradise Killer | Partisans 1941 |
| Patchwork | Pesterquest (x2) | Pixel Heroes: Byte & Magic |
| Popup Dungeon | Propagation VR | Psychonauts |
| Psychonauts in the Rhombus | Pumpkin Jack | Quantum Replica |
| RAD | Rebel Cops | Re-Legion |
| Retimed | Retrowave | Safety First! |
| Scribblenauts Unlimited | Semblance | SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell |
| Shadow Tactics' Aiko's Choice | Shenmue I & II | Sherlock Holmes: The Devil's Daughter |
| Shining Resonance Refrain | Shiny | Siege Survival: Gloria Victis |
| Simulacra | Slime-san | Sonic Adventure 2 |
| Sonic Adventure 2: Battle | Sonic Adventure DX | Sonic and SEGA All Stars Racing |
| Sonic Generations Collection | Sonic Lost World | Sonic the Hedgehog Ep. 1 |
| Sonic the Hedgehog Ep. 2 | Spacebase DF-9 | Spellcaster University |
| Spongebob: Battle for Bikini Bottom | StarCrossed | Strikers Edge |
| Struggling | Styx: Master of Shadows | Superhot: MCD |
| Swimsanity! | Tales of Berseria | Tales of the Neon Sea |
| The Ambassador: Fractured Timelines | The Coma 2 | The Inner World |
| The Letter | The Shapeshifting Detective | The Walking Dead |
| The Walking Dead Season 2 | The Walking Dead: Michonne | The Wolf Among Us |
| This War of Mine | Titan Quest Anniversary Edition | Total Tank Simulator |
| Toto Temple Deluxe | Townsmen - A Kingdom Rebuilt | Unmetal |
| Valkyria Chronicles 4 | Vikings - Wolves of Midgard | Voidigo |
| Werewolf: The Apocalypse - Heart of the Forest | Wildfire | Yes, Your Grace |
| Zero Caliber VR | Zwei: The Arges Adventure | Zwei: The Ilvard Insurrection |