In his view, he always right, everyone else is wrong. Even if in small cases, he was wrong, he'll blame others for not helping/reminding him. All he did was complain and repeatedly remind us that he brought us up, he fed us, gave us clothes etc. I hate him with all my being, I wish my mom divorce him but she apparently keep defending him and ask us to forgive him because 'everyone make mistakes'. Fuck you dad.

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Please don’t come for me!! I’m a big fan and collect all her books and will always read them. Please don’t tell me “just don’t read them” the books were very comforting to me at a time I needed them but that doesn’t mean I can’t be open to discussion about her recent work and how her new direction or perhaps rush to put out books might be affecting quality.
I’m part of her Facebook group as well; which is strictly a fan page.
Spoilers ahead !
Here goes:
I guess I expected Sloane to be a character who looked like Bridget but with the personality of Jules. Instead she behaved exactly like Allesandra, Isabel and Vivian. Speaking of Bridget, the Queen was more icy than Sloan (the series' designated Ice Queen) and she was supposed to be Rhy's sunny counterpart. We were constantly TOLD how icy and emotionless she was and never really shown it. Instead, we find out she's actually insecure and has a lot of issues, which yes is realistic to how Ice Queens typically form their avoidant personalities, but it would have been great to see a few chapters of her being icy before we peel the layers and find out why she puts up these icy walls.
If the book was supposed to be about how she’s NOT the ice queen people think she is…that wasn’t exactly shown either. She does admit it herself that she is icy, just hates that she is and hates being called that.
Xavier is the Jojo Siwa of bad boys. He was a bad boy, he did some bad things. The things that made him Colombia’s biggest bad boy with a bad boy reputation known all over the word: Parties with other rich kids, spends his wealthy father’s money, refuses to behave at publicity events like galas, refuses to inherit his family’s company, gets into shenanigans that land him in a night in jail with other rich kids, got a tattoo of his family rival’ crest….this one’s more stupid than “sticking it to his family”, slept around with whether model/It Girl was around. In the words of Phoebe Buffay “Okay, who hasn’t?!” Even Jules, Ava and Stella have landed themselves in jail after some shenanigan gone wrong. It’s clear that despite being a “spicy” book, AH created a Disney character version of a bad boy.
I feel like Ana forgot how to write from the male's POV after the Twisted series ended. The point of the dual POV is that you feel like you're reading two different people's POV, and honestly it all just blends together. I think Josh's book (Twisted Hate) was the best example of a male's perspective and thoughts/dialogue that a guy in that situation would be saying.
I noticed since King of Greed at least, these Alpha males have been carrying dialogue that mention the most ridiculous things that "Alpha billionaire" males wouldn't even notice. Example: In King of Greed, when Dominic makes a comment about the expression a Chinese food delivery person makes when he realizes he just dropped off a ton of food for two people.....I think that was an Ana Huang thought, not a Domenic thought. While we’re at it, Domenic was just as bad a Xavier…. Dante was the last good “Alpha” she wrote and Kai was such a different character (modeled clearly after the lead in Crazy Rich Asians) that he was hard to mess up ..
The Spanish in King of Sloth was important given the character's background, but felt like it was written with Google Translate. It felt very formal and boring, and doesn't feel like a Spanish-language consultant was brought in to make sure the random sentences and random Spanish words made sense. It was giving the same energy as the Netflix original shows that are set in Los Angeles neighborhoods and the writer's idea of Spanglish is sprinkling random Spanish words into English sentences. There was a little Spanish dialogue in Twisted Games that was way less cringier- maybe because the Spanish was in full sentences and then translated right after….. Latino English speaking people don’t add random “Tios” or “hermano” to their sentences. Look up @Leogonzall “how Latinos talk in movies” videos to see a visual representation of how the Spanish dialogue in these books feel.
Neither Xavier or Sloane had to work very hard to get together. We've seen small bits and pieces of how Sloan is essentially his babysittePR person and he's a chaotic playboy and I get the
Some random things that appear in every single book: - "A thought niggling......" - A table groaning under the weight of food - The first kiss consists of the male's mouth "crashing" into the female's - Every single female character has parental and sibling issues of some sort. - Every male character has parental/abusive parents of some sort. I'm beginning to feel like AH cannot write complex characters that don't rely solely on parental drama, as relatable as it can be...not counting her "If Love..." series, we've seen this 7 times in a row, for EACH main character. - Ana Huang writes parents and siblings the way Amy Sherman-Palladino writes children in Gilmore Girls, just very one-dimensional and for the plot. - Except for Isabel's good relationship with one of her brothers, Alessandra (and Ava and Josh) every female character has severe sibling drama, usually a case where their sibling is an over-achiever and conforms to their parent's expectations (and that's horrifying because it affects the main character and not because that sibling is also a victim that may have used conformity to survive their abusive parents actions)
Things I wanted to learn more about Sloan other than the same repetitive things over and over - How she started her PR agency and the staff she hires- what a girl boss! We only get a vague background about how she started her agency but nothing about how she built experience prior, and how she managed to build a reputation to become one of the best PR agencies in the world. We just have to take the author's word for it, and there's been so much build-up of Sloan in the three previous books.

• I always imagined Sloane having a luxury apartment in NYC, something completely immaculate and stone-cold like her personality. We hear nothing about her apartment despite so many scenes taking place there.
  
• We didn't get that many scenes of Sloane doing anything by herself…anything she eats or wears or anything. I feel we got more of these smaller details about the heroines in the earlier books.
  
• I think Sloane got the Stella treatment- Both heroines's have been teased since the first book in the series but were a bit lackluster once the book came out. The both have parental and sibling drama….but they do yoga
  

The things I enjoyed about KOS and Ana Huang books in general - The world building in NYC and DC and other countries. - I love the scenes that take place in both DC and NYC - they feel so cosmopolitan but I feel we no longer get smaller details about the weather, street details, etc - we got plenty more of this in Twisted Hate and Twisted Games...even details about it being a misty or cold day, make a huge difference in creating imagery in the reader's mind. - The Valhalla scenes are typically entertaining and beautifully written, it's clear how lovely and gorgeous this country club is. - Any cameos where Alex shows up, are well-written. I think Twisted Love was one of her strongest books, so it makes sense he's one of her strongest characters who is stable and can carry any appearance.

I pull the window part of my bag down to see how much I have in there and she screams “stop, don’t pull it out right now!” I said I was just looking to see if I had enough for a sample, like she asked? I told her I was just looking, I wasn’t opening it. She then made gagging and vomiting noises and even said ew. Maybe you’re in the wrong field if you’re really that grossed out by poop?
Then she came to give me some Dilaudid later and said “here’s your big D! Everyone needs some D in their lives.”
Anywho, that’s my story from this edition of yoshdee in the hospital.

(F, 20) So the last couple of years I’ve realized how toxic my mom is. The focus has always been on my dad because he’s the more unstable one. But being in therapy and my partner pointing out her flaws has really shown me. Now that my dad’s left as of 1-2 years ago, it’s clear that he wasn’t the sole issue in the household. My mom is extremely negative and it brings down my mood. Always insulting strangers (so that they can’t hear of course) and complaining about literally everything. She has terrible road rage and it’s awful being in a car with her. Sucks because the majority of what we do together is go out to eat and I often ride with her. If I started to drive on my own she’d find it weird. She finds everything weird. She’s an anxious, angry mess and never seems happy for me or supportive; just finds things that could go wrong and gets me anxious. I’m convinced she’s a big reason for my anxiety disorder and depression. She holds me back so bad and it feels like she doesn’t want me to move on in life. Maybe because she’ll be very lonely once I’m gone. She’s also extremely intolerant especially when she’s angry and it makes me very uncomfortable. I feel like I can’t confide in her, tell her good news, talk about my life or anything because she makes it all a problem or straight up doesn’t care. It feels like she loves the dogs more than me. We recently got in a huge fight as well bc I told her I wanted to move in w my partner and their family because our house is unclean and stressful (I’m a college student and I need a safe space to study). She freaked out and insulted me for days over text. Growing up she always denied I had mental health issues and got very offended and mean if I tried to tell her about it or cry out for help. She was convinced I was trying to be special. I rlly can’t stand her anymore. It’s heartbreaking bc I always saw her as the “good parent” especially after she slandered my dad constantly (still does and it’s so annoying). She was my rock growing up. My hero. Now she’s just a Karen to me.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Scaredoflove11
Rebuttal by u/Roeapparently
AITA for asking my friends what flavor their wedding cake is?
Originally posted to AmItheAsshole
Thanks to u/czechtheboxes & u/USMCLee for suggesting this BoRU
Original Post May 11, 2024
I (22f) am in the wedding party of my friends we will call Em(25f) and Roe(25m) who will be getting married in about 2 months. I have been really excited for the wedding since it'll be an opportunity for all the friends from college to get together for the first time in 2 years. Not to mention Em and Roe are my best friends, or at least I thought they were.
We have a discord for all the wedding stuff and they have a channel about food. They've been really good about being open about the food they intend to have at the reception including vegan/vegitarian/gluten free options for everyone and answering questions so I didn't think there would be any contention if I asked a question.
Anyway, about 4 days ago I posted a message into the discord asking "Hey, what flavor is the cake gonna be? I wanna mentally prepare myself lol." I think looking back my choice of extra words is what caused all this, but I meant it in the sense that I have a long documented dislike of chocolate flavored foods like cake or ice cream. So I added it in the event the cake was chocolate.
I recieved a private message back that the cake would be chocolate and that if I had a problem with it then I could "shove it" cause it was their wedding not mine. And i felt really taken aback by this response.
Never did I mention that I would have been upset and I certainly wouldn't have put up a stink about it. Its exactly like Em had said, it's their wedding. I explained as much and tried to apologize for any offending I did but she got even more defensive and started basically blasting me for implying that she was offended and I was just left overall very confused.
I gave it two days before I tried to apologize again and smooth it over figuring she may have just been having a bad day but I got shut down again telling me she didn't need my apology cause nothing was wrong and I needed time stop trying to make it seem like shit was wrong between us and to just drop it.
I texted Roe to see if I could gauge what was going on since he and I have always had an open dialogue about things like this but he basically just told me he couldn't talk to me right now and I have to imagine its cause Em told him not to.
Its been 2 days since then and I'm just really confused. This whole thing has made me want to drop out of the wedding party and honestly not go at all. I wish Roe would talk to me and Em would be honest. I can't help but think maybe I just don't get how stressful planning a wedding is and like maybe theyve gotten pushback from other people on other things and somehow its being taken out on me? Or is it really a big no no to ask stuff like this? I don't know? This is the first wedding i'll have ever gone to, so am I the asshole?
VERDICT: ASSHOLE
In the comments "Roe" appears
Roe is u/Roeapparently
Here May 11, 2024
Hey Izzy. Not surprised you didn’t share the whole story. You never do. Just like last year’s surprise party for Em (tldr: Izzy here spoiled the surprise and tried to claim my present was hers).
I’m “Roe”, the groom to be. I don’t do Reddit, but my best man does and frequents this thread. He saw this post and it was so obvious it’s you. This whole cake thing did happen but it is NOT the whole story and did NOT go the way Izzy claims.
First off, cake was not her only complaint. You refused to have a joint bachelobachelorette dinner cause “I have poor taste”, you said my suit was tacky cause I wanted white and not traditional black, you whined about the bridesmaids dresses being purple cause you wanted Ivory. Any decision we’ve made there’s ALWAYS a complaint. And Em has done nothing but be patient and try and find common ground. She should not have to change her wedding choices for you.
Second, we NEVER told you to “shove it”. Em only messaged you privately because she was tired of having to argue in the group chat. Everyone else is tired of your bullshit too so we didn’t want to bother them with it. It’s a cake. Eat it or don’t.
You have hated me ever since I joined the friend group. And that’s fine! But you will NOT ruin Em’s day because of your pettiness. If you care about her, then honor her decisions. Of COURSE Em is different! Cause she grew tf up! All of us did except you! My god you’re fucking 22, stop acting like a spoiled teenager, chocolate cake will not kill you (btw asshole I’m 26 not 25, pay attention). I wasn’t angry about this until you decided to go to the internet for pity. It’s pathetic and immature.
For the record, Em double checked my response. She signed off on it. Get it together.
OOP

Its pathetic and immature to anonymously post asking for advice on Reddit but you coming here starting shit and posting my real name isn't? Okay, Marcus, since we're not hiding anymore how does it feel to have your shit aired for real? Here's how I KNOW Em didn't sign off, becuase she never would have agreed to using my real name.
You're just trying to get me upset at her too. She's my best friend, and I should have known you'd do this. You always try to manipulate us into being mad at each other. Case in point when I had planned this really awesome dinner for just her and I and you had to plan her suprise party for the same day. I just wanted alone time with my best friend but you couldn't wait one day for the party.
Em has known me far longer than you, and no offense, I'm sure I know her better than you do. But I've kept my mouth shut because I love her and just want her to be happy.
I complain about everything? Then how come I've never said anything about the hundreds of times you've made Em cancel plans with me to go hang out with you? I just wanted my bff to spend a little time with me. We're not allowed to have sleepovers anymore cause it "makes you uncomfy" or take a girls trip for the weekend because "too expensive". Sorry you can't take care of her like I can. Some of us can afford rent. Clearly this was never about the cake and more so about you hating me. I was fine when you joined the friend group, but you clearly weren't fine with mine and Ems relationship. You've been the same towards some of her other friends who I'm sure would agree.
Get a life Marcus. Stop trying to take mine.

Roeapparently

She was fine using your name. You brought this to the internet, not us. If you didn't want this attention, don't post.
The plan was for you to distract her while we setup the party by taking her to a movie, not going to the movies then taking her to dinner and TELLING HER OF THE PARTY. We waited hours expecting y'all to be back.
I have never once made Em cancel. She always did that on her own, and not frequently at all. You have had plenty of time alone with her. Just because she spends time with me too doesn't mean I'm forcing her to. And yes, a trip to multiple countries across Europe is very much too expensive. We already live paycheck to paycheck, which you know. I know money isn't a concern for you but it very much is for us. Not all of us have apartments paid for by dad.
Nobody else seems to think the same things about me, and if I'm wrong I will gladly listen and change. But that requires communication directly, not anonymous Reddit posts. You may have known her longer, but you clearly don't know Em well. You fail to see how miserable your comments and attitude have made her these past few months. For her sake, knock it off.

OOP

"Paid by daddy" real mature asshole. You know I work hard like everyone else. Its not my fault my parents made better decisions than yours and can actually help their kids. And of course I wasn't just gonna take her to the movies on her birthday a rouse or not it was still her birthday and shes my friend and I love her and wanted her to an actually decent meal other than the shitty pizza you bought for her.
Also yeah maybe you didn't tell Em to cancel, but knowingly asking for plans when we had them is basically the same thing. Before you, she was fine. She had everything she needed. And for all of you in the comments saying I have a crush or want to fuck Em, you're delusional and know nothing about me. We're best friends. I love her. She loves me. Not my fault we have natural chemistry that everyone over the internet can feel. But its not like that.
Marcus you're an asshole. You've been an asshole since day one. Just admit you're not the guy who can give her what she needs and move the fuck on and leave us alone.

~
MHH370

Hey u/Scaredoflove11 did you really make a fuss because you wanted the bridemaid's dress to be ivory instead of purple?

Also u/Roeapparently did you really make your fiance cancel sleepovers because it made you uncomfortable?

Roeapparently

No. I never made Em cancel anything. I'm fine with her having sleepovers. Izzy wanted to do it at our apartment and kept begging Em to have me sleep on the couch so I wouldn't ruin "girls night". For the record, Em shut it down not me. She's capable of making her own decisions, I trust her to set her boundaries. If I came off as uncomfortable, Izzy never mentioned it till now

ImissBagels

Does Em even still want Izzy there? Because Izzy is sounding more and more unhinged. How did she try to steal your bday present to Izzy?

Roeapparently

Em still wants Izzy there. they've been friends for years. I won't make her kick her out, but I'm starting to reach the point where I want it. And no she didn't steal it. She claimed she purchased the gift cause "i was too poor to afford it". It was a rather expensive purse Em eyed once while shopping but couldn't get at the time, so I saved for it.

FINAL COMMENT BY u/Roeapparently

You're proving my point. I'm not gonna argue over Reddit anymore over this, especially if you're gonna talk about my parents like that when you know full well why they aren't rich. Either message us in private or drop it all together. If this is how you really feel, don't bother coming to the wedding.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
**DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS

I have been watching Abby Lauren for over 2 years now, and I honestly didn’t think she could have possibly gotten any worse than before she took off three months ago. Boy was I wrong about that. Not only was she complaining about a stalker before, but wow she is completely come up with some elaborate stories since being back just three weeks. Abby really wants everyone to believe her stalker walked in her mother’s home, walked up the stairs that creeks while she was in the kitchen making breakfast; then proceeded to her bedroom and took her cell phone and wrapped the charger up and left without her seeing her leave? Let’s not forget the stalker also hacked into her mother’s Alexa and phone then had it say awful things about Abby, and requested it to play Crazy/Crazy Bitch. Now let’s talk about her new man Anthony David. He’s a charmer, she loves to brag about how she saw him in treatment and knew he was going to be hers. Anthony is a hot head who has a short fuss, that loves to talk big behind the camera to other people. He loves to brag that he has money, a fast car, multiple houses, and is a PI. Guess what, he’s broke, doesn’t own any properties, he drives a ford explore, and he’s not a PI. The two of them seem to really feed off of the lies the other one tells. They are both drinking together at night with a loaded firearm. Abby has bragged that Anthony has shown her how to use it. It’s scary to hear them talk about people and not knowing what they’re capable of together. Abby before was just a person that went live and talked a lot of nonsense most of the time. But now since returning to TT with Anthony she has changed into a more dangerous person. The people that I see in her chat that I can only describe as her friends, are encouraging their behavior. Most of them I am completely shocked by because they are smart enough to know and I honestly think they didn’t support her behavior themselves at one point or another. Are these friends really her friends? Or are they just trying to make Abby go off the rails/deep end and self sabotage herself? Are they watching to see if someone gets hurt in real life? Now Abby is demanding past #1 creators to get in her chat to explain how they got their coins or snipes. She is asking her mods to go find these individuals and bring them to her. She was calling out Jimmy, Jon Collins, Tyler, Missy, VSwiss, and Faith last night. Why couldn’t Abby just come back to the app and mind her own business and start her new account with a little bit of humility? I know why, it’s because people in her chat aka her friends don’t hold her accountable. So when Abby loses her mind again, I think everyone helping her including Anthony should be ashamed of themselves. And if anything criminal happens it will be on those individuals as well.

I’ll start my dad in the early days of Amazon bought a family bundle of prime. This was 5 people can get prime delivery for the price of 1 so absolute bargain. They realised that it was a bargain so stopped doing, let me say my dad wasn’t happy when he went renew. Long story short he complained and managed to keep all 5 of us on prime delivery for £80 a year on 12th year now 🤣.
Next one I got caught short inbetween cars so a mate offers me his zafira for £500 was a shed but a good runner so yeah that will do. This is my 3rd year with car been wrote off and looked a bit battered but runs like a dream I do 300 mile a week in it srill going strong. Might be let down this year on MOT but can’t grumble £500 and done 40k since.
What your best value for money story.

Hello, I just want to share my letter before I pass away. I’m an only child and I’m always alone at home. I have been suffering from depression, anxiety, and various other illnesses. It’s difficult as time goes by, I feel like I’m losing my mind. I talk to someone that I only imagine in my mind. There are days when all I can do is be a child growing up without parents by my side. I have imaginary friends, and I don’t have any real friends in person. I stopped studying when I was in grade 11, I should have been graduating from high school now. I’m 18 years old, always locking myself at home, hurting myself, and there are times when my uncle hurts me and shouts at me. When I was younger, I was happy until depression started creeping in as people slowly disappeared from the house.
I have taken a lot of medication but none of them worked, I’m experiencing body pain, having difficulty breathing, and neglecting myself. I’m no longer close with my mom, she’s very harsh on me, I always humble myself even though I did nothing wrong, she always thinks she is right and has a lot of pride. I have a dad who gives me money, but we’re not that close, but I love my dad more because he somehow cares for me. When I was young, I was really mad with him but he made it up to me. But I feel bad towards both of them for not being real parents to me.
I’m tired, tired of being judged by people, I have no friends, no allies, my only ally now is myself and my imaginary friends.
This is where my story ends, and I want to rest now. Thank you for reading my story!

Introduction
Please note this is all from my own perspective. I'm sure my Dad has his own version of things if you ever met him, and I'm also sure neither of our accounts are to be trusted as they're both fully biased and subjective.
What Happened?
I wanted to come out to my parents together, I really did, but I couldn't. My Mum is the "scary" one of them both, the one who I've clashed with the most over the years, the one least likely to "get it". I wanted my Dad's help to bridge this gap between myself and my Mum and support me in coming out to her.
Obviously we all know there's no rhyme nor reason to when we come out for the most part, it isn't a logical step. It's a purely emotional one based solely on finding the right situation.
Thursday evening (16th May) I thought I was in said right situation. Apparently I was wrong.
Me and my Dad had a lovely evening, we watched the first 2 episodes of the new series of "Welcome to Wrexham" and when we came to go to bed I left my coming out letter on his pillow. I told him I wanted to tell him something but that I couldn't find the words and that I'd written it down.
We went to bed, I felt ill and horrible and, well, I can't describe it really. I expected my Dad to read the letter and approach me about it that evening. He did not. In fact I found out later that he didn't even read the letter until mid morning the next day.
The next day, yesterday (17th May), I called in sick to work. I knew there was no way I'd be able top concentrate with this looming over me. The morning went fine, but at around 1pm my Dad came to me and said we'd discuss the letter I gave him at dinner. He sounded angry, but that silent and quiet type of angry that your parents get when you really fucked up. Sensing the vibes weren't exactly A-Ok I decided to drive to my sisters' house as they had just returned from holiday and also were not in work that day.
I stayed at my sisters' house as long as possible, hyping myself up and convincing myself that this conversation over dinner was going to be ok. My sisters had to leave and so I did too and returned home and waited for dinner.
After about an hour I went downstairs and ate dinner with my Dad. The TV was on and we ate in silence, but not an awkward silence to be honest. Still, after dinner he told me not to go anywhere, we're discussing this letter. I'm like "Ok sure", and I get ready for a little pushback but overall a positive result.
I was blindsided.
My Dad argued with me, told me that telling him in a letter was cowardly, and argued that the time wasn't right and that this was a bombshell to drop on him. I agree with that last part to an extent. It was a bombshell, but when wouldn't it be?
In terms of the time not being right he was referring to the fact that the reason my Mum isn't around this weekend is that she's at my Grandmother's house as my Grandmother's experiencing some health issues lately. The reason I told my Dad is because if anything happened to my Grandmother before I was able to come out to her, regardless of her reaction, I would be devastated knowing she passed on without really knowing me. And having Mum away meant I could ask my Dad for advice on how to approach that very sensitive subject. She's my Mum's mum and as such I didn't want to say to my Mum's face "Hey, I'm trans. Just telling you so I can tell Granny before she dies and we never ever see her again". (Hyperbole, but you get what I'm saying)
I never managed to explain myself fully though because my Dad dropped a bombshell on me. When he asked why I told him separately to Mum I said that it was so he could help me broach the subject with Mum. He said he can't keep any secrets from my Mum and that the "help" he is going to give me is that when my Mum returns on Sunday (tomorrow) he's going to tell her that "Artistic_History9476 has something to tell you" and that if I refuse to come out then he's going to out me to her regardless. He told me that I needed to "Man, oh I'm sorry Woman" up and tell my Mum to her face as soon as possible.
I left the house very quickly and waited at my sisters' house until my Dad had gone to bed before I returned. It's now the next day (18th May) and he left early to go fishing but he's getting home in about 70 minutes. Talking with my sisters last night means I have a few things I want to tell him now that I have a clearer head, things I either couldn't think about in the heat of the moment or things I tried to but couldn't say.
Suffice to say this isn't what I expected from my Dad and quite frankly I'm disappointed in his reaction and behaviour.

Hey everyone! I'm a TFT streamer and Competitive player, hit challenger every set since 4 (not this set! I'll tell you why). I've never posted on Reddit, but I felt like I had too many things I wanted to break down and have a conversation about. These thoughts were just too much for a Twitter post, and I'm really curious to hear how everyone else in the community feels :)! (PS. I posted this on TFT Reddit, but was told to post it here too since it's rooted in competitive TFT)
Disclaimer: I love everyone at the TFT team, and have immense respect for everyone on it, and I know for a fact they all strive to make a product they are proud of. This post is out of love for the game.

1. Novelty in TFT / Set Mechanics: Regarding Novelty in TFT / Set Mechanics: In recent sets, it's clear that the TFT team is determined to create unique and memorable moments for players, which I appreciate. However, in their pursuit of these moments, they seem to have lost sight of the essence that made TFT so magical from the start.

We can all agree that Set 10 was a huge breath of fresh air coming off the turbo-boring set that was 9.5 where everyone equipped URF legend and popped tome 2-1 and prayed. Set 10 is, in my opinion, one of the greatest sets ever designed. Everything aligned perfectly and harmoniously (music pun!), the unit and trait design was near flawless, the set mechanic was a huge upgrade to Set 4/4.5's Chosen mechanic, and the 5 Costs really did feel like premium units. It was a homerun for TFT. (The numbers show that too for all you numbers people)
Moving on from 10 and coming into 11. It was glaring to me that in an attempt to reach the destination of creating novel moments in TFT they took the wrong road. Encounters might just be one of the worst types of game mechanics to ever exist (second only to shadow items). It's a disaster lottery draw every single time it shows up that you dread won't destroy the path that you calculated was the most optimal path based on what you've gotten so far in terms of units, items, augments, etc... The main reason why Encounters are bad game design is because they take away player agency in an unhealthy way. That doesn't mean that there can't be potential encounter type mechanics that borrow player agency that are healthy. It just means this one is bad. It's a lot of quantity over quality and it leaves the player in this weird middle-ground where they're not too impactful to create a sense of excitement and awe when they pop up, but they're just useful enough to be extremely annoying when they don't benefit you at all, and accelerate other people's boards. (Obviously this isn't ALL encounters, but definitely most)

1. Unit and Trait design: Set 11 brings some of the most lackluster / boring feeling units and traits I've ever had the un-pleasure of playing. If you named all your favorite TFT units / Traits of all time do you think any of set 11's Units / Traits would make it into your S-Tier category? (Maybe Lissandra, but she's just a worse Set 6 Tahm Kench lets be real) and apart from the idea behind Exalted (It needs more work, but can be an amazing way of introducing infinite comps) not much in Set 11 stands out to me on that front. I'll delve deeper into a few things I don't want to bloat this post, but just know there's a lot more. Kayle is one of, if not the worst summon unit we've ever had in TFT.
   
2. The idea behind build your own summon unit is fantastic and I genuinely hope they give this another go, but the execution was suboptimal at best. Sets 3 / 4 / 6 / 10 All had extremely life-like and memorable summons Giant Mech Garen that thrusts down sword into the arena, Giant Galio slamming into the arena and punching units to death, Bears and dragons to buff your team and fight alongside you, and even a Hecarim that gallops onto your board and buffs your team and slashes enemies. Summoned units SHOULD feel, sound, and look impactful, and not act like any unit I could buy from the store. Or else they just end up being a glorified 2 cost. Stats aside (I love stats, but this post isn't about them), my primary aim is to ensure a fun game before delving into statistical analysis. Kayle feels like a filler unit that you mostly just plop in the back and forget about, doesn't do much unless you hit the crazy (mostly unobtainable) 10 Piece trait. Speaking of unobtainable traits. It seems to me the TFT team has come up with this bandage solution of gatekeeping a lot of really fun and exciting moments behind these extremely hard-to-obtain 9-10 Piece traits. We've never had this issue in TFT; why are we now gatekeeping a lot of the exciting moments behind 100+ hours of playtime. You can tone down a lot of the exciting moments, and still keep them accessible, but challenging to obtain. You've done this for the longest time; why fix something that isn't broken. Personally, I think there needs to be a revaluation of what makes a Set engaging and fun, and what players really want to see and play around with for hundreds of hours way before you start delving into the mindset of "How do we add as much divergence, nuance, and novelty". Those roads can meet and intertwine, but they aren't the same road.
   

Items, Augments, and Orbs!: Items - Here's a little brain exercise for everyone, what would happen in TFT if we removed all item components, and strictly dropped only Ornn anvils all game? (Take a minute to think before you click the spoiler!) >! If you guessed it would ensue chaos, bugs, and a balancing nightmare. OR be a hell of a lot of fun! you'd be correct both ways! (New portal idea!/s) !<
Luckily for us, that isn't the case. However, I do think we've reached a point with items where we're too comfortable with what they wish to achieve on units, and this creates a dynamic where TFT units are always being designed with items in mind, and how the items would make the unit work. Rather than creating fun and engaging units in a vacuum and worrying about the items later. It's a scary prospect to experiment with the tried and true (Think back to Set 7 when they made Rage-wing trait experimenting with units that had a different fuel source than mana, but it was a total miss or when they created the dreaded Shadow items), but it's just food for thought. Just because you didn't get it right once, doesn't mean the idea is flawed, just means you didn't get it right that one time. A time where you definitely did get it right however, is Radiant items Look how those turned out! Some of the most beloved items of all time. This is sort of what they wanted to achieve with the new expansion to the Ornn anvil items, and support items. It's definitely a step in the right direction, but can definitely be explored more.
Augments - Augments really was a happy little accidental shift in TFT's life cycle. They created the perfect concoction of how to add an almost infinite amount of variability to a game that was missing just that. (Which also adds to why Encounters are redundant and frustrating) Since then they've time and time again created really fun and engaging augments each set, that without I'm almost certain TFT wouldn't be as popular as it is. Please keep doing this, this is really good. Another little thought exercise before we continue. What would happen if most of the Encounters were just turned into Augments instead? (Think a little before you click spoiler!) >! If You guessed it would just create a healthier way of interacting with said encounters. You'd be correct! !<
If you're trying to create a new set mechanic (encounters) it shouldn't overlap with something that already exists that's just better than the new thing you're trying to create (augments). However, getting back on track. It does feel like things have gotten a little too comfortable in the Augment space, and feels like there hasn't been much room for innovative change. There's an untapped reservoir right in front of you of infinite variability at your disposal. Why aren't you experimenting harder, instead of looking for other means of adding variability that will always be suboptimal to the one you've already created almost 6 Sets ago...?
Soft Sample Examples: A new type of Augment called Radiant Augments that provide a wide range of very strong / borderline insane combinations of items and stats, but the catch is after every player combat if you lose you can choose if you want to swap your Radiant augment with the player you just faced. (Like multiple random hexes of strong stats, or 3 tailored Orrn items / Support items, or given 3 zephyrs and knowing who you're fighting next or given a 2Star-dragon that adopts your top-most trait?!) (The design space is infinite)
Orbs - Lastly, I'd like to talk about Orbs! Orbs are a lot better, good job! That's all I have to say :)!
Thank you for reading this far into my post if you have. Again, this comes from an immense love for the game and the people creating it. I have nothing but positive interactions with Mortdog on Twitter / Discord and would appreciate if you guys keep it civil and friendly :)! I really do have a lot more thoughts, and things I'd love to share, but I feel like I've already bloated this post a lot! (Assassins, Higher Cost units than 5, Midsets, system changes, loot management, meta knowledge, Portals etc..)
I've just been really bored playing this set, and that's the reason I've retired from seriously competing or climbing for this one set, and I'm very keen to read what other people have to say about my thoughts, and looking forward to discussing it thank you!

So i got my period abt 3 days ago (its 3d day today) amd usually my first 3 or 4 days are really painful its different every month but this month it hurt so bad that i couldn't even take a shit without taking pain killers first cuz ill just start crying from pain. We all came to our grandma bc our grandpa died not too long ago and shes left alone in a big house and very big yard. So the moment i came to her i went to bed to take a nap. Well i though its a nap but for some reason my alarm didn't work(happens often). I went to sleep about 8 pm. I woke up at 10pm because i got a nightmare and my stomach was hurting constantly and i was bleeding constantly too. I made myself a heating bag with rice for pain bc i couldn't sleep. My mom then started complaining thay i woke her and my grandma up. But i mean what am i supposed to do? My stomach was hurting and i was running to the bathroom constantly too cuz i just kept bleeding . So when i finally did go to sleep i woke up by her screaming to come help her. I didn't feel any pain at the time but i knew if i got up it will start hurting again ( it did). She screamed at me like 10 time to help her waking me up constantly. And she does that oftem soemetimes she even wakes me up for no reason at like 8 am cuz shes playing with our cat in MY room and when i tell her to stop (i HATE noisy mornings) she never respects that and always does the same. And keep in mind that when i accidentally wake her up or need something from ger she gets so annoyed and sometimes starts shouting. And when i tell her you do the exact same thing for no reason she just tells me its not the same. Anyways so am i wrong for not helping when i went so late to sleep and it just hurt so bad. I feel kinda bad but i really just wanted to take care of myself more.

Okay so to give a bit of backstory me and my now ex-gf (I’ll call her Amy [this is fake name obvi]) had been dating for a few months at the time.
It was my first real relationship, which Amy knew, and so I pushed for stuff to be slow and that we get to know each other before rushing into anything. Now when we first started exploring a relationship there was a day where Amy gave me some brief stories of how she had been mistreated in her past by guys. I’m not going to breakdown all of that information considering it’s not really mine to share but there was SA, lack of consent, and severe pressure from almost all of them when it came to intimacy.
I reassured Amy that this was not something I planned to do which she already seemed to understand considering I was the one pushing for things to be slow. Due to all this past trauma and some of her other experiences in life she had some insecurities regarding her breast size and weight.
After some time we started getting more intimate with hand stuff but I never asked or even implied to do anything with her boobs since I knew she was insecure. Now this is prob dumb on my part but she gave off this idea that there was something “wrong” with her boobs so I was expecting like some weird birthmark or maybe a scar. When Amy finally did show me her boobs they looked perfect honestly. I didn’t think there was anything she really needed to be insecure about when it came to it.
There was one point where we were talking on FT and Amy asked me if there were any thoughts I had regarding the intimate time we spent together. I said something along the lines of “your boobs weren’t how I expected” or at least I think I did. Amy says that what I actually said was that “[they] were smaller than I expected”. Which looking back I can see how she heard that since I told her how I looked up online if anyone had similar sitautions with mine and all I found was people complaining about THEIR gfs having smaller boobs.
Now trust me I know what I said was DUMB but when I explained to her that what I was trying to say is that the insecurity of her breasts (as well as all the other ones she has) isn’t something I think about because I don’t think there’s anything she should change about herself she seemed really appreciative and understanding. We stayed together for 1.5 months following that situation and I honestly feelk like that was the only “fight” we had if you can even call it that.
Our relationship ended a while ago now but she has brought up that moment constantly as reasoning for why we couldn’t stay together and that she just “can’t forgive [me].” To my knowledge she has used this moment as an excuse to paint me as a terrible person to many of our mutual friends.
I feel by only talking of this one instance anyone that hears it assumes I’m this terrible person and it just completely overshadows everything else I did in the relationship which according to her, I was extremely respectful and when it came to intimacy I made her feel safe since I wouldn’t pressure her into doing anything and would constantly check in with her which I’m surprised is somehow not the bare minimum.
So I’m asking yall of reddit, AITA? By acknowledging that Amy has these insecurities was I calling attention to them? Did I truly do something unforgivable?
Tl;dr I said something about my gf’s boobs and she said it was fine and understood what I meant. Months later she says it was unforgivable but says I treated her rather well. A few months after that she says I’m a terrible human being to mutual friends and claims that I treated her terribly throughout the relationship.

My (23M) GF (22F) says that during arguments I'm being dismissive of her feelings. I'm all for validating someone's feelings, and I generally don't have a hard time with that.
What usually happens is: she brings up something she doesn't like, I agree and apologise but point out that she does it as well. She thinks I'm dismissing her feeling, I think I'm holding her accountable by pointing out the hypocrisy.
One scenario was, I asked my twin sisters bff (a girl) where she got this Star Wars picnic blanket from she had with her. We talked a bit about Star Wars and ended the conversation. Later she expressed how she didn't like it that I talked directly with the best friend and would like me to completely cut all contact with her, and if I had to ask my sisters friends something, that I do it over my sister. I'm kind of friends with them too, since we all went to the same school.
I thought that was a bit overreacted but gave in at the end. During that conversation I also pointed out that she has regular contact with guys from school and all, where they not only talk about school assignments, but also joke around generally and are good friends. I don't have anything against that, cause why would I. What I do have something against is the hypocrisy, that I have to go to that extent, but she never really thought about if she would want me doing what she does.
I was raised I should first take a look at myself before complaining about someone/something and I understand that it doesn't make me "better" or "more mature", but am I that much in the wrong to think that?

Hey, so I'm asking this because I need some kind of objective metric for what I do to help around the house. Basically I'm trying to work out if I'm A: Married to someone who makes unrealistic demands that I'm being punished for not meeting or B: Doing the bare minimum/not enough and need to get my act together.
This morning, I (M34) woke up early, so came downstairs so my wife (F34) could sleep in. We both lead busy lives and I figured a couple hours extra sleep would be nice for her. The vaccum cleaner was downstairs after we cleaned the house yesterday and needed to be emptied. There were a couple bits of tupperware in the sink which I thought i'd wash later so as not to make noise (I'm clumsy). I fed the cats, emptied their litter trays and decided to chill for a couple of hours until my wife awoke. Emptied the vaccum in the meantime.
she comes down, finds me watching some youtube (jerryrigeverything ripping apart an m4 iPad) nothing sus. We have breakfast and we're about to go out, I show her some photos on my laptop from a trip and she's stroking my head which made me a bit uncomfortable so i moved away, maybe a bit quickly and with a sigh because the photos weren't downloading off the photo lab website and I was a bit frustrated at that, and this vexed her because she then told me how whilst she's been asleep I'd not: loaded the washing machine, cleaned the french windows which had some dirt on them, i'd left some socks on the floor in the bedroom and not washed up and its on her again to do everything round the house.
I try extremely hard to be attentive and help out where possible- we clean the house together almost every week, top to bottom. (sometimes it's one of us if the situation demands- like someone's out or busy etc), I grab bits from the shops after work, get her little surprises, chocolate, flowers etc, we go grocery shopping together most weeks. Whenever there's some chores to do, I help, though soemtimes i whine about it but chores suck and everyone complains about them right? Admittedly, because she works from home and does housework during the day, cooks a lot, but this is because I work on-site and physically can't be home to do that labour. I would if the situation was reversed. I clean up after the cats, and feed them when I get a chance, I make her a morning coffee, set up her laptop, I cook when I can but again, not home all the time. I'm also quite absent minded and clumsy, so things genuinely pass me by, and having depression makes it extremely hard for me to even want to get out of bed at times because I feel so heavy- I do it, but sometimes it's hard to do all the things that need doing. Maybe it makes her feel like I don't care?
I'm not trying to make excuses, I'm not seeking pats on the back for being a 'good guy' or whatever but I'm genuinley unsure what to do as this feels like a consistant issue for her and I want to solve it, or if I know its me in the wrong, I can keep trying to improve. I've never had a healthy relationship before this one, so my own ideas of proper behaviour and stuff is fucked and I never know if what i'm doing is right or if i'm being difficult.
TLDR: Am I doing enough to help my wife and she's expecting too much or am I expecting gratitiude for doing too little? Or is there a deeper issue I/we need to address

tws brief mentions of suicide (not re any one person mentioned in the post but as a topic in general) and of course infidelity.
Sorry if this is disorganized and more of a rant, but I am honestly shaking with rage right now. My Dad is downstairs watching the Ashley Maddison documentary and absolutely downplaying how fucking serious cheating is. Were there ethical concerns to releasing that data? Sure. But I can't listen to him talk about that sort of thing without feeling sick to my stomach because of something I saw a few months ago. And I can't argue my point because by the time I came in the documentary was up to the part where it said people had comitted suicide over the information, so how am I meant to argue 'cheaters deserve what they get when the info goes public' with that in the background? That's the one part I don't think they deserve, I'm deeply sad that people killed themselves over the whole thing. Of course, Dad's opinion on THAT part is that they 'took the easy way out' so you know, his moral stance is basically my exact opposite. He thinks 'oh they don't deserve to lose their jobs this should be handled privately, they made a mistake and you're not allowed to judge anyone unless you've lived a perfect Christian life, and anyone that killed themselves over it is weak and took the easy way out'. Mine is 'it's a tragedy that people lost their lives over this, but if you're going to cheat you need to be ready for people to react to that information once it becomes public'.
What makes this all ESPECIALLY enraging is the Dear John letter that I saw. Months ago, my mother (who is still with him) asked me to shred some old documents. Was I technically snooping by reading the stuff before shredding it? Yeah, I suppose. I won't claim complete moral cleanliness in this. Most of the documents were harmless, like old letters from my school or the school of my two brothers. One of them was not. I remember it was in a light purple envelope, which was what drew me to it.
In it was two hand-written pages from my mother to my father. While it didn't go into intimate detail, it did describe him growing very close to a woman online, and sending her pictures of something. The letter was a 'last chance' sort of deal, and judging by the fact they are still together I suppose it must have worked. Based on the fact I have no memory of this conflict, I'm estimating it must have happened either before I was born or in the very early stages of my life (a time when he was away a lot for Navy duties).
I know I don't have all the details. I haven't gone looking for anything else. I never mentioned it to anyone in my family, I never asked him or my mum for any explanation. I put the letter back in the envelope and shredded it like I was asked to. No matter how hard it was, I didn't throw that information in Dad's face during our discussion, because that wouldn't be fair to my mother to bring up something she seems to have chosen to move past.
It doesn't help that I don't like my Dad in the first place. He's a childish, domineering man who can't stand to be wrong, let alone be proven wrong. I've seen him rewrite history right in front of my face (classic 'I never said that, and if I did you misinterpreted, and if you didn't then I was kidding' kind of nonsense) just to avoid being proven even slightly wrong. There's no use arguing with him when he gets and idea in his head, to the point I avoid talking to him at all since there's no telling when some random, innocuous topic will make him feel small and get him all wound up and nasty.
Augh, this rant is going off-topic. The point is, I'm just really fucking angry and upset right now, but because I don't intend on opening up this old wound or telling my brothers what (little) I know because I don't have the full story and will never get it, the most I can do is ramble online to strangers.

TW for s/h mentions, self end mentions, and abuse mentions
Obligatory clarification that this was a few months ago, I just regularly feel guilty about it and wanted to see if I'm right in feeling that guilt. Also, apologies in advance since I think this is going to be a long post.
I(20ftm) was abused in multiple ways by my stepfather(46m). I filed a case against him two years ago, which finally got picked up after my younger sister(16f) ran away from the house. During these two years, no one in the family talked to me, as he convinced everyone that I was a liar, a manipulator, and was doing everything as an act of revenge on him for "treating me with the respect I deserved". He was sentenced last October to 15 years in prison, and then they began to investigate my mother(38f) because she knew about the physical/verbal/mental abuse of all of us kids(there were five of us, ages will be given as children are mentioned), and about the s/xual abuse toward me. I live out in Arizona, however when my mother lost custody of our siblings, my older sister(25f), who well call Molly, reached out to me asking if I would be willing to come back up to Ohio, my home state, to help her take temporary custody of the children. The plan was that I would come back up to Ohio, live with my old roommates, get a job, and watch the children in the morning to get them on the bus and afternoon until Molly got home from work. This was something that was agreed upon by everyone, and it was decided that due to a job opportunity I would be going back to Arizona in three months. I immediately explained to everyone involved that I would not flake out on these plans unless my mental health got to a point where I was actively considering self ending. Molly requested that she get "some sort of notice" before something like that we're to happen, and I told her that the best I could do was actively pointing out signs of mental health decline as they happened so she would know where I was in my headspace, to which she agreed.
Fast forward to the day I'm to fly up, and I get a call from Molly. She explains that our grandmother is giving her her old house in exchange for the childcare until my mother got out of jail should the worst case scenario happen, and she wanted to know if I could live in full time with her. In exchange she would pay my way through driving school and get me a car off Facebook marketplace, which would roughly equal out to three months of paid labor. She explained that I wouldn't have to do any chores(though it would be nice) and she would support me financially so that I didn't need to get a job(though I also could if I wanted to) and I could put my full time and care toward the children. This seemed like a fair deal to me, so I agreed. We talked about a few other minor details, such as my room(I wouldn't have one, and would be sleeping in the corner of the living room) and food(I requested that she get healthy food because eating excessive amounts of junk food triggers my ED, which she agreed to but more on that later).
I fly up and reconnect with all of my siblings(I hadn't talked to any of them in person since the incident two years ago), and talk with a close friend of mine, who I'll call Buddy. Buddy expressed that he didn't think that me moving in full time with Molly was a good idea, and tried to imply that she might try and take advantage of me while I was there and overstep boundaries. I told him that I trusted her not to do so, and she and I had agreed that I would be spending weekends with him at his place to decompress and regularly assess my mental health. This was almost immediately backtracked by Molly, saying she didn't expect me to actually take the whole weekend and she requested Saturdays to be her "day off", which I agreed to. About a week and a half after I arrived and was settled in, we started having violence issues with the youngest(10m), and they were mostly directed toward me. We assumed that this was because my stepfather had fed the kids a story about how I had left because I didn't care about them, and he was too young to understand the truth of the situation. Molly was very attentive to my needs at first, making sure to buy fruits and vegetables as well as having the children upstairs by 9 pm so that I could have some private time to relax each night. All was good other than the violent outbursts from the youngest(who I'll nickname Chris).
After about a month, we had to give Chris to an aunt due to the violent outbursts becoming more frequent and the police having to be called several times just to get him to stop attacking me. I explained to Molly that it was affecting me pretty badly, and she and I sat down and talked it out, deciding I wasn't at a point that I needed to leave yet, however if we kept him I would be. So we let Chris go up to my aunts, who we'll call Aunt Hayley. After that things calmed down in the household, with there only being two major fights between the remaining three children. During this time, Molly began to talk about how stressed she was about finances, as well as she signed up for a college course and got a boyfriend. I didn't see this as a big deal at the time, but it compiled with everything else. Molly began coming home at 6-7 and immediately going to her room, and I would end up keeping watch of the children for the remainder of the night. This didn't bother me too much at the time, as I saw it as helping her, however I could. Before this, she and I had pretty evenly split chores, with both of us doing dishes, laundry, and trash periodically. Once she began this college course, I took up the entirety of the dishes, laundry for all of the children, and majority of trash. Molly tended to her room and mandated when the children cleaned their rooms and their upstairs bathroom, but other than that was in her room either doing classwork or hanging out with her boyfriend. During this time she also stopped getting the healthier foods, despite me helping with grocery lists and requesting healthier foods, opting instead for snacks or frozen foods such as pizzas, hot pockets, bagel bites, etc. This upset me seeing as I had already explained to her my issues with said foods, but I didn't feel I had a right to make comment seeing as she was still financially supporting me.
During this time, my no contact order with my mother was lifted, and I agreed to speak with her again, seeing as she had eventually denounced her borderline worship of my stepfather and told the police everything, and was now in therapy and parenting classes. To be clear, from the moment I had arrived in Ohio, I had wanted nothing to do with her, and the only reason I had agreed to talk to her was to give her one last opportunity to man up and explain everything properly. She did, and as I had suspected, he had been severely abusing her in every way as well. I still didn't trust her, but I decided to give her a second chance at a relationship on the condition that she not bring any more men into my siblings lives until they were all 18 or older(which she agreed to). I began to visit her semi-regularly, and Molly and I agreed that I would go to her house Saturday nights for dinner, seeing as I was already going to Buddy's around 7 pm Saturday nights anyway, which meant it wouldn't really change any of Molly's plans. At this time I began having a friend over, who we'll call Max. Max is a close friend of mine since middle school, and Molly approved him to be around any time, however I only really had him around on Tuesdays due to his work schedule. As soon as Max met Molly, he said he didn't really like the way she talked to me, and when I didn't understand(I have autism) he explained that a lot of how she speaks to me sounds like she's talking down to/making fun of me, and that when I say something she doesn't seem to take me seriously. I brushed this off, thinking that it was just him not being used to her somewhat abrasive personality.
Molly continued to complain about finances, and I continued searching for a job as I had been since I got there, and then came the first weird incident during this. One day Molly said that our mother had offered her a motorcycle, but that she had a feeling that she wouldn't actually give it to her, and so she was going to go buy her own. I didn't mention how counter intuitive this was to her finance problem, though I should have in hindsight. She also went out that weekend to get her nails and hair professionally done(which she had told me at one point all together was around $200), as well as I believe the next weekend to get a $180 tattoo shaded. Seeing as Molly had gone out and bought a motorcycle, my mother instead offered me the bike, which I accepted. Molly then began making comments about how she knew my mother was going to give me the bike, and that was why she had gone out and gotten her own(despite the fact that I had asked for the bike before I knew it was supposed to be given to Molly, and was told only if she didn't want it because she got first dibs).
During the last month, my mental health began to hit the decline I had warned Molly about. I informed her of when it became hard to get out of bed, when I was having guilt or s/h urges, and then eventually I reached a point where I requested she take back up at least some responsibility of dishes and laundry because my mental health couldn't handle it. She got somewhat indignant about this, saying that because I was living there rent free I should be doing the majority of the chores. By this time, I had very much seen what Max had been saying about her talking down to me, however I wasn't in the mental state to go against her, so I just reiterated that I really wasn't doing well. She said that her classwork, job, and social life wouldn't allow her to have time for it, and since I had none of those I didn't have any reason to feel the way I was. At this point, Buddy and my two old roommates(who we'll call Rat and Iroh) started insisting that I should go back to the original plan and only go down in mornings and until she got home from work, however I felt obligated to help her so I stayed. They repeatedly reminded me that she still hadn't followed through on any of her promises regarding driving school, car, or respecting my triggers. I continued to stay, partially to help her and partially because I knew at this point that it would backfire on the children as well if I left.
Two weeks before I was supposed to leave, Molly pulled me aside and told me that due to financial concerns, she would be letting the children go to a foster home in two weeks, once I left. This confused me seeing as a) I hadn't been bringing in any financials, and b) she insisted on keeping the 16 year old(who I'll call Fiona) but refused to keep the other two, because (in her own words) "Fiona is the easiest to handle". I felt as if I was to blame for this because the way Molly had presented it to me made it seem like the only reason she was letting the children go was because I was leaving, and a few days earlier she had been trying to push "if you could only stay another month". This plummeted my mental health, and about a week later(a week before my stay was supposed to end) I hit the point of actively wanting to self end. I informed her of this, and she got cold with me, saying she wished I had told her sooner. I reminded her that I had vocalized every step for things going down hill, and she insisted that it wasnt enough and I should have given her more notice, as well as claiming she could have done this whole thing without me and that I was more trouble than I was worth at points. She then started saying that I had only come back to get close to our mother and that I didn't actually care about her or the children(as I said, I hated my mother when I arrived). I told her that I would stay till that Friday night as it was Thursday and I didn't want to force her to try to find last minute childcare so late at night. At some point in this conversation we got a call from the middle(14nb, whom we'll call Sora) child's school saying that Sora had assaulted another student. This student had been making fun of Sora for months, claiming that they deserved the abuse they went through and that she hoped my stepfather got out of jail so that he could hurt Sora worse. I requested Molly not be too intense on the punishment, seeing as this had been an ongoing issue that had been brought to both the principal and Molly's attention, and been brushed off by both. Molly started beating me about how disgusting it was that I was condoning violence, and I clarified that while I didn't condone it, this situation had been hard enough on Sora. At this point in time, I had had enough and told her that if she didn't want my input and wanted to belittle me and "put me in my place", then she could put her money where her mouth was about being able to do this without me and I would leave that night. She said fine, but that she knew I wasn't actually wanting to end myself and was just using it as a convenient out of the situation. I began to pack. As soon as she got home she said that I had been taking her tone wrong, and that she hadn't meant to attack me. She then started saying that I wasn't screwing her over in this, I was screwing the children over. This was while the children were out of the house, and I did raise my voice, telling her that I wasn't trying to screw anyone over, I was following exactly the boundaries I had set, as I should have from the beginning. Buddy came and picked me up, and I went and spent the night with my mother.
The next day I was informed that Molly had told our caseworker that I had bailed, and that the children were to be picked up the next day(all except Fiona, who would stay in Molly's care and eventually the possibility of Molly adopting her was discussed). That Friday was the court case which was to decide what was to happen with my mother. Molly had expressed throughout this entire process that she didn't want my mother to go to jail, and that she would do almost anything to keep her out. The prosecutors had also expressed that they didn't want her to get a full 3 year sentence. During the court proceedings, Molly was the only one in the room requesting the maximum sentence for my mother, and during her speech was consistently deadnaming and misgendering me, which no one else in the court room was doing. My mother walked out with a 60 day sentence, which wasn't terrible, but the damage was done to mine and Molly's relationship, seeing as it was already strained before I found out she had been lying to me for months about her stances on this. She and I had had several conversations about this, while I hated my mother and whole I was healing my relationship with her, and her stance of wanting her to stay out of jail had never wavered. I unfollowed her on most medias, but kept her unblocked on everything. Three days before I was supposed to leave, I realized that my leather jacket and my keys to my boyfriend's collar were still at her house, and I tried to contact her to ask for them back. I texted her twice, neither of which she responded to, and then Buddy called her. She claimed she hadn't seen them, but refused to let us come over to look for them, despite the fact that the last time I had seen either one was in the house because I had been too depressed to leave the house. She continuously refused to let me come check, or even let someone else come check, claiming that she didn't trust me to put things back the way they were, despite me never showing any inclination of touching anything that wasn't mine. I went to text her again on the matter and found that she had blocked me on all platforms. Shortly after this Fiona would start claiming the same things about me not actually wanting to end myself and just using it as an excuse, showing that she had been talking to Molly about this, and her views on pretty much everything shifted to Molly's views. This caused a rift to the point that while I have strong contact with my other siblings, I don't have much contact with Fiona.
I feel as though it was wrong to leave the children in the situation they were in, and I desperately wish I could have done more to help, but I knew that once I hit that mental state I was no longer safe to be around them and only ran the risk of traumatizing them further if I had stayed.

So I was printing out my VA award letter for my daughters school and I realized under the are you considered permanent and total said yes I had no idea that happened or when they decided this. A few months ago I printed the same letter and it said no.
What would trigger the VA to award me P&T its also dating back to 06/17? not sure why and will I get any future exams? Will I get a packet from the VA explaining everything. Also I had asked the VA reps for that score sheet that shows what’s static and what isn’t they said they can’t give that out anymore is that true if that not the case how can I get it.
It’s kidof scary to think they were looking in my file and then decided to award P&T without me putting in any claims I was already at 100% so maybe they think my conditions won’t improve just confused happy for sure don’t get me wrong I just have questions.

(Heyyyyy everyone, it’s currently 2:05 am Pacific standard time and I’m kinda bored and kinda just want to babble and rant so if this isn’t your cup of tea then yall can scroll on by :). )
Anywho, I (22F) have a partner (23M) and we’ve been together for 7 months now. I won’t lie, this is my first healthy relationship I’ve had in a LONG time. Last time I EVER had a healthy relationship was in the 10th grade (was in that relationship for 1yr and 4 months). In my past relationship my exes were toxic, abusive and narcissistic. After my high school boyfriend (10th grade) andI broke up I kinda spiraled into a deep depression and it didn’t help having abusive parents as well so at 16 I went looking for love in all the wrong places, which I totally regret 🤦‍♀️ now obviously. But it eventually got worse and worse after every relationship I went into it was trauma after trauma. My worst relationship was when I was 16 and he was 18 and he had alot of issues. He would get angry and kinda Hulk out and throw things and break things. He would hit me and I didn’t have any help. The police didn’t believe me, my parents said I deserved it so…for a long time I thought that was normal. No one told me otherwise. But somehow I found strength in myself and left that relationship but I still ended up with guys like him because I was so blinded in love and wanted to be loved since I wasn’t loved at home. So I thought I could find it in a man but boy was I wrong. Now fast forward I’m 18 living on my own and started therapy again and I finally found real strength and self love within myself and for a little while I stopped dating and just focused on myself and on my life. When I was 20 I started dating again but eh it wasn’t really working out. Then last year (21 yrs old) I moved in with a friend and started downloaded dating apps and started dating again. That is when I met my current partner, my best friend, my love, my boyfriend 😍🥰! It’s still crazy to me, I was on those dating apps last year just for shits and giggles. I wasn’t expecting anything and I was also just looking for more friends too. But he one day liked my profile and I read his bio and he seemed like an interesting guy so, I liked his profile back. Let me just say that liking his profile was the BESTEST DECISION I HAVE EVER MADE!!! This maybe cheesy and corny but it truly was like love at first sight but instead of it being at first sight, it was almost like our souls knew each other. When we met for our first date, it was like I knew him, it was like my heart and soul met him before. It’s hard to explain how I felt and still feel. But I just felt INSTANTLY comfortable and connected to my boyfriend. We went on a few more dates and then he asked me to be his girlfriend and of course I said yes 😁. We are currently long distance at the moment, so spending time with him is so precious to me and makes seeing him even more special! But yeah that’s my love story and how I met my partner 😁. He is the first green flag I’ve ever met in real life 😅😂💀. He is so sweet and so caring. It’s so weird to me!! I’m still getting used to being treated like a Queen. I’ve never ever got affection from my exes unless it was sex, I never got gifts or cards or letters from my exes, I never got flowers or valentines day stuff from my exes, it was so bad that I wasn’t even allowed to express myself or my emotions to my exes because they would call me over dramatic or I’m being hormonal or that my feelings don’t matter so I should just shut up…that was all I ever got from my exes. So being treated correctly for the first time in a long time is awesome, sweet, overwhelming and confusing all at the same time. I know these feelings stem from my ptsd from my family and my past relationships, I am getting better ❤️‍🩹 from it. But wow, just wow!! I never knew being loved the right way was a real possibility for me until I met my partner! We have already started talking about marriage and such. He wants to get married and have kids just like me, so we’re on the same page thankfully. We also talked about how we’d want our wedding to look like and I swear! It makes me so giddy and has me kicking my legs up in the air like a little girl whenever we talk about our future!! I 100% see him in my future and he see’s me in his future too. I feel like I’m finally getting my happy ending after 21 years of pain and trauma. To everyone who has reached the bottom of this post, just know NEVER 👏🏼 SETTLE 👏🏼 FOR 👏🏼 LESS!!! It doesn’t matter what age you are or who you are (unless you’re a shitty toxic person) YOU 🫵🏼 deserve to be treated right and loved correctly!! If you’re in a shitty or abusive relationships GET OUT!! You don’t deserve that kind of treatment. If you need help getting out of the relationship, get help. There are resources available to help you. Please remember your worth, love yourself always and don’t take the bare minimum or the bs in a relationship. Anywho, it’s getting REALLY late now (it’s 2:48 am). I’m heading to sleep now. Goodnight you lovely, amazing people! Remember CHOOSE YOU AND LOVE YOURSELF!! Have a great night or day 😄!