1. Kuchiki

Name related to 'tree'. The names of each member is related to a colour. Byakuya's zanpakuto is related to cherry blossoms. Byakuya's name means 'white' which is related to the actual colour of sakura petals. Ginrei's name is connected to 'silver' and Soujun's name is connected to 'blue'. Also, Hisana's name is connected to 'scarlet'. Rukia's name was inspired by the name 'Lucia' as Kubo liked the name. It means 'light'. Kouga's name means 'the yellow river'. (PS: Their family crest has a cherry blossom flower at the centre with two cranes flanking it, very typical for Japanese samurai insignia)

1. Shihouin

Name related to 'maple'. Yoruichi's signature shunpo technique is 'utsusemi' ('cast-off cicada shell). Cicadas are known to molt in autumn, the season in which maples bloom. The names of each known member is related to the hours of the day. Yoruichi means 'one night'. Yushiro means 'son of the evening'. Chika means 'a thousand mornings'. (PS: Their family crest has four maples)

1. Shiba

Name related to 'waves'. The names of the members are related to the natural elements. Kaien's zanpakuto is related to the sea. Ganju uses a kido that turns rock to sand. Kukaku is a pyro-expert. Kaien's name too means 'sea swallow (bird)'. Ganju's name means 'rock eagle'. Kukaku's name means 'sky crane'. (PS: Their family crest looks like the flow of a wave)

1. Tsunayashiro

Name related to 'substitute, replace' as well as 'era'. The zanpakuto used by Tokinada substitutes each attack with a technique used by another Shinigami. Also, the clan is the oldest of them all, their name encapsulates the history of the Soul Society. Tokinada's name directly transliterates to 'Time Sea'. His release command is also related to the sea.
Judging by this pattern, I still can't think of the name of the 5th noble clan. ✌🏻

Fashion is all approximately making statements, expressing individuality, and sometimes, indulging in a piece of luxury. Gold plated bracelets are the proper accent to obtain a lot of these desires. They offer a hint of beauty and sophistication without the hefty rate tag of strong gold. In this blog, we can explore how gold plated bracelets can remodel your fashion recreation, adding versatility, charm, and style to your wardrobe.

The Appeal of Gold Plated Jewelry

Affordable Luxury

Gold plated jewelry, including bracelets, combines the first-class of each worlds: the high-priced appearance of gold and affordability. This makes it reachable to a broader audience, permitting greater human beings to revel in the splendor and elegance related to gold.

Versatility

Gold plated bracelets are tremendously versatile. They are to be had in numerous patterns, from touchy chains to bold cuffs, making them appropriate for any event. Whether you're dressing up for a formal event or which includes a hint of glam for your regular outfit, there may be gold plated jewelry that suits the invoice.

Durability

When well cared for, gold plated bracelets can preserve their shine and luster for years. They are designed to face up to the pains of everyday wear, making them a practical preference for folks who need to revel in the look of gold without demanding approximate damage or loss.

Transforming Your Look with Gold Plated Bracelets

1) Elevating Everyday Outfits

One of the best techniques to transform your style interest is via the use of incorporating gold plated bracelets into your ordinary clothes. A touchy gold plated chain bracelet can add a touch of class to an informal jeans-and-tee ensemble. Alternatively, a stack of skinny gold plated bangles may want to make a formidable assertion, giving your look a gift-day facet.

2) Adding Glamour to Evening Wear

Gold plated bracelets are perfect for adding a touch of glamour to your nightwear. A chunky gold plated cuff bracelet can instantly elevate an easy black get-dressed, making you look effects sublime and complicated. For a greater delicate contact, choose a gold plated bracelet decorated with cubic zirconia or other gemstones. This provides sparkle and beauty, making you stand out at any event.

3) Mixing and Matching

The splendor of gold plated bracelets lies in their capacity to be mixed and paired with other portions of jewelry. Pairing your gold plated bracelets with distinct gold plated jewelry, such as necklaces, rings, or bangles, can create a cohesive and shiny look. Alternatively, you may mix gold plated bracelets with silver or rose gold portions for a current, eclectic fashion.

4) Layering for Impact

Layering multiple gold plated bracelets is a famous fashion that could rework your style sport. Start with some skinny, sensitive bracelets and gradually add chunkier pieces to create intensity and interest. This layered appearance works well with casual and formal clothing, including a dynamic and fashionable contact for your ensemble.

5) Personalized Pieces

Personalized gold plated bracelets, together with those engraved with initials or decorated with birthstones, add a unique and widespread detail to your bracelet series. These portions no longer most effectively beautify your style however additionally supply sentimental value, making them a loved part of your fabric cloth cabinet.

Choosing the Right Gold Plated Bracelet

Consider Your Style

When selecting a gold plated bracelet, don't forget your style. If you choose a minimalist look, opt for easy, unadorned bracelets. For people who love bold, declaration portions, look for bracelets with elaborate designs, gemstones, or particular shapes.

Think About Occasion

The occasion also performs an essential position in selecting the right gold plated bracelet. Delicate chain bracelets are perfect for regular wear, whilst intricate cuffs or bangles are best for special occasions or parties. Having a whole lot of patterns for your collection ensures you have the correct accessory for any state of affairs.

Quality Matters

When investing in gold plated jewelry, fine topics. Look for bracelets with thicker gold plating, as this may make certain they final longer and preserve their appearance. Also, don't forget the bottom metallic; sterling silver is a good preference for its sturdiness and hypoallergenic homes.

Caring for Your Gold Plated Bracelets

To preserve your gold plated bracelets searching for their quality, proper care is vital. Here are some suggestions to keep their shine and sturdiness:

Avoid Harsh Chemicals

Exposure to harsh chemicals, including the ones observed in cleaning merchandise, perfumes, and creams, can cause the gold plating to be put on off. Remove your bracelets earlier than cleaning or applying beauty merchandise.

Store Properly

Store your gold plated jewelry in a gentle cloth pouch or a separate compartment on your jewelry's container to prevent scratches and tarnishing. Keeping them far from direct daylight and moisture may also assist preserve their look.

Clean Gently

Clean your gold plated bracelets frequently with a smooth, damp material to do away with any dust or oils. Avoid the use of abrasive substances or harsh chemical compounds, as those can damage the gold plating.

The Psychological Impact of Wearing Gold Plated Jewelry

Wearing gold plated jewelry, together with bracelets, could have an advantageous mental effect. Gold is regularly related to wealth, fulfillment, and self-belief. Adorning yourself with gold plated jewelry can enhance your self-esteem and make your experience extra polished and placed collectively. This better feeling of self-assurance can affect how others understand you, making you seem greater elegant and self-confident.

Gold Plated Bracelets as Gifts

Gold plated bracelets make excellent presents for pals and loved ones. They are a thoughtful way to show appreciation and may be customized to make the gift even extra particular. Whether it's far for a birthday, anniversary, or just because of the fact, a gold plated bracelet is a timeless and fashionable gift for you to be cherished for destiny years.

Conclusion

Gold plated bracelets are a versatile and fashionable addition to any earrings series. They provide the high-priced look of gold without the high price, making them reachable to an in-depth variety of favorite fans. By incorporating gold plated bracelets into your dresser, you may easily transform your fashion game, including beauty, sophistication, and a touch of glamour to any outfit. Whether you select sensitive chains, bold cuffs, or customized portions, there may be a gold plated bracelet to match each fashion and occasion. Embrace the splendor of gold plated jewelry and permit it to elevate your style game to new heights.

Hey, hope this is appropriate to post here! I've been working in the world of mental health and self-development for over a decade now and have had my journey of recovering from massive social anxiety and isolation. I've never really been active online and talked about these ideas with friends, coworkers, and partners. However, I feel inspired to stimulate some discussions I find are important and try to contribute to this and other similar communities. So I would like to share with you some reflections I wrote. I'd love to hear your thoughts and reflections. I'm not here to convince you of my ideas (although perhaps I can write persuasively sometimes), I am no authority, but I would love to hear your reflections, thoughts and discuss. I feel hopeful to try to find some truth together through this, and maybe think together as a community how we can make certain situations better for people. Of and please be very honest! I'm not looking for feedback for my form, or to get better at writing although I'm sure I could definitely use some. But I would love to see what these ideas evoke and people, their stories, their concerns, their disagreements, and points of view.
Let me know if I'm breaking the rules, and if you want more discussions like this! I'm eager to talk about agency, addiction, customizing mental health interventions, combining self improvement with social impact, the effects of our construction of social status on happiness and growth, how we can make the internet more nuanced and promote mindful content vs polarized, absolutistic and quick dopamine hit formats.
Well, without further ado. Welcome and thank you.
What Does It Mean to Be a Strong Man?
I acknowledge that the question may be irrelevant. That we may not need a definition. These definitions do not apply to everyone who uses the same term. However, people, perhaps more commonly those who identify as men, do often choose a definition. It is often nebulous, implicit, acted out, and unexamined. An amalgamation of ideas we are fed by others, cultural norms, emotional reactions, stereotypes, and beliefs we buy into. These ideas come from many sources that we do not have the opportunity to question. Being told to not cry and be a man while growing up, the attempts of other men to portray themselves as strong whether fruitful or vain, narratives around celebrity, status, fame. These often influence us, and eventually have some influence on the stereotypes that form around the idea of being a man. Perhaps it would be helpful to examine these ideas. I find them quite problematic. Not because I want to erase the concept of manhood, but because I think they often do a disservice to what a man can be and embody. We are often led to believe that unless we act in a certain way, we are not men. That we are weak, that we are not valuable, that we will not be respected and loved. And that the way to avoid this is to conform, to become rigid and put up our walls and defenses. This can often lead to tragically unnecessary outcomes. Alienation, isolation, stress, inner critique, avoidance, low self-esteem, and perhaps even push people away and lash out at them. We are told we need to hustle and grind to live up to being a man, that unless we reach certain goals we are diminished and failures. And we are often certain not the ones to choose our goals, but they are imparted on us.
So are the stereotypes true? What is it to be a man? Is it to be wealthy, physically strong, intimidating, shouting, or aggressive? Are these traits that we often see espoused by what we've come to associate with masculinity? Is it to achieve nebulous "success" as defined by others, and at any cost? Is masculinity dependent on the admiration of others, and upon the validation of our romantic interests? Is this what is central to being a man? Are we falling for a false narrative? Or are these phenomena just a symptom of our confusion, and the result of not having a clear vision of what being a man can entail?
My experience tells me that by adopting these notions, we underestimate and undervalue what a man can be, giving way to and rationalizing insecurities. We assume, through this model, that we cannot deal with certain experiences with grace and severely limit our growth. Are we not suffocating our freedom by buying into these narratives? Perhaps it is our lack of role models that deprives us of formative experiences during childhood, of seeing men be a pillars of love and calm for others. Seeing them be truly loved and respected, without the need for any gimmicks, silver tongue, status games or other forms of compensation we are continuous told me need by companies and influencers.
No, I believe the reality of being a man is much more profound than that. That we are leaving so much on the table by not having this compass. That it can seem daunting, but infinitely rewarding. I also don't view it as a stressful obligation that needs to be met otherwise we are unworthy. Rather, an invitation. I believe our natural inclination and the identity in which we flourish most are far from these stereotypes. It seems to me that it is blocked and occluded by many factors. And the path to actualizing it is of acceptance. It is time to seek out an identity that defies all those gurus who try to make us feel insecure, to try to be like them, to buy their products, to keep trying to replicate techniques that only reinforce self-doubt and the idea that we cannot embody who we want to be, live the life we want without chasing shiny status symbols.
No, to be a man is much more than that.
The idea of a man is to be able to fully feel one's emotions, one's fears, without panicking, without changing one's behavior, and doing the loving right thing. People think that feeling weakens you, controls you. But a man still has the agency to choose how he responds to them without cowering and escaping them, and therefore blinding himself. A man can feel his sorrow and still show up to work. A man can feel insecure but not run away and go for what he wants. A man can feel small and not hide from others, but share his vulnerability and still choose to step up. A man can let himself feel desperate and needy but choose to respect his integrity and not try to control the situation to suppress how he feels. The beautiful thing is, you don't have to be there. We are often told that unless we hit the mark, we are shunned and not respected. I have found that to not be true, and my imperfect attempts to be open, to hold space, to feel, have brought people closer to me and gave them the opportunity to help me grown and support me when I am vulnerable. It created the space for people to accept me the way I am once I took the step to be vulnerable and reveal myself. And that has helped shed so many insecurities.
Being a man is to have the courage to love, whether vulnerable or with tough love, and boundaries. It is to choose freedom and feeling through pain rather than contracting and escaping. It is to be able to give space, to serve others, to love them, to support them. To show one's weakness without trying to escape it, while working on improving. It is to be resilient, resourceful, and proactive in doing what seems to be right without the need for control. It is loving oneself and not chasing validation from others. It is to love without expecting in return, which is very different from being used. It is to tell the truth even when it is difficult. It is to, with inner calm and gentleness, confront someone with the appropriate intensity when they hurt others, or themselves. It is to be your brother's keeper. It is to forgive. It is to protect those you love. It is to weather the storm of love with as much calm as possible. It is to let go of the need to prove oneself. It is to be an anchor. It is to take life with humor. It is to love others as fully-fledged human beings and not as a means to an end.
It is to realize that sexual gratification does not make a man, and yet to fearlessly and compassionately give yourself to your partner. To realize that wealth and status cannot weld inner rifts. It is to comfort one's inner child when its demons terrify it. It is to be a light onto this world and give space to the darkness. It is to accept responsibility and uphold it. It is to be free from the fear of losing freedom. These are all not exclusive to men, but qualities latent within us all.
However, if we decide to be men, let us be this sort of forgotten, powerful man. A man that does not need to belittle, a man that does not need to abuse, a man that recognizes his own beauty and strength and has faith in it when he feels small. That allows love to come in. A man that does not need to retaliate when others disturb him. That recognizes that nothing can reduce the being within, its potential, and the beauty of the world it projects into its consciousness through his eyes.
Men, believe in yourself. You can be who you want to be. You can create the life you want. You can attract the one you love. But society is letting you down. Instead of giving you tools that work, it shoves you on an eternal treadmill. A treadmill that only profits those who would see you be an obedient soldier, a consumer, a higher bracket taxpayer, or whatever pursuits or status our society brainwashes us to pursue.
You can do all these things, but let it be your choice. Make these things more attainable by growing, by reducing the inner conflict, by using the full power of your emotional awareness and regulation that is only unlocked by feeling. By understanding yourself and others better. By seeing things more clearly, not by following others' techniques and instructions only but by honing your perception and intelligence. So much social conditioning and consumer culture divide us, make us understand each other less, and make us alienated from other genders and groups. Sometimes so they can sell us their narrative and their products. Let us be free.
Easier said than done you say?
We truly live in a world that makes it harder to develop these qualities. Or perhaps these qualities are there, but their potential is suppressed and supplanted by other patterns. We often start off with trauma and life events that interfere with our growth. We try to cope, and the world can be harsh to our coping mechanisms. We model the world as we see it through our hurt selves, and we often blame ourselves for being stuck. Luckily, there are ways to break out of the cycle. It's unfortunate that most of us don't have access to people who guide us through the process. And most importantly, we are constantly distracted by strategies that don't work. Buy this course, go to this gym, buy these clothes, make more money, stress and push yourself, or get lost in the system trying to get therapy. We keep being told we need to be better, and enhance ourselves from the outside in. But we are not taught how much we can affect our mental software, how we can reshape our psyche, heal from patterns, and regain our natural social and emotional skills and self-esteem.
This requires calm, patience, time, and deliberate focus, but our focus is snatched away by millions of distractions and a barrage of FOMO. We are made to feel stressed and insecure, that we need to succeed and maximize our potential, so that we consume more tips, coffee, addictions, or work ourselves to death to the benefit of employers, tax agencies, or the general economy. We are told we don't have time to reflect, that if we make the wrong choice we are screwed, so we need to hurry and follow whatever beaten path is thrown onto us. We perpetually seek guidance, sometimes from people that masquerade as experts on YouTube for views and forget to strengthen our own intuition and remove whatever puts us on a leash.
We are social animals; we process information about social situations unconsciously far more effectively than through our thinking minds. Anxiety can block this, so we assume we lack knowledge and need to learn. We resent the anxiety and fight it, and get stuck in a perpetual battle we cannot win because we are using the wrong method. Then we blame ourselves. Make ourselves smaller. And the cycle continues, with more desperate attempts to exit the cycle and find more tips and tricks.
There is a way out, but it feels so counterintuitive that we expect it the least. Meeting ourselves where we are at, exposing ourselves to our fears and weaknesses, growing from there, sharing it with others, feeling—it all makes us feel like we will get stuck. The child that learned these lessons throws a tantrum at the possibility. But we are not children anymore. We needed these strategies in the past, but now they hold us back. We do not need to hide; we are capable of growing and learning to meet our own needs. And that is the way forward.
Do you truly think this kind of man is weak? That he is unable to achieve what he sets out to do? That women will gloss over? I have never been so comfortable and connected to women as when I started letting go of all the things above and being there. Calm, present, joyful, grounded in my own being, and creating space for the both of us; changing the dynamic forever into one of exploration, of love, of excitement, of ease, and of insight for the other person that sees that this mode is possible.
Let's build this reality together. Please, tell me what this made you think. Please argue and object, or ask questions. I am not an authority, but we are here to explore together, think independently and disagree. Perhaps we can reach more nuance and truth that way together. Share your experience with me. Share with me your ideas on how to create a world that does not inhibit the freedom of man but encourages his agency, helps him be better to others, and be a source of flourishing rather than anguish to women. And, let me know if you want me to write more. I have a lot of experience and ideas I haven't shared. If it helps, I will. Want to bounce off ideas on how to start implementing this? Just send me a text and i'll try to share some things that worked with me when I can :)

Hey, hope this is appropriate to post here! I've been working in the world of mental health and self-development for over a decade now and have had my journey of recovering from massive social anxiety and isolation. I've never really been active online and talked about these ideas with friends, coworkers, and partners. However, I feel inspired to stimulate some discussions I find are important and try to contribute to this and other similar communities. So I would like to share with you some reflections I wrote. I'd love to hear your thoughts and reflections. I'm not here to convince you of my ideas (although perhaps I can write persuasively sometimes), I am no authority, but I would love to hear your reflections, thoughts and discuss. I feel hopeful to try to find some truth together through this, and maybe think together as a community how we can make certain situations better for people. Of and please be very honest! I'm not looking for feedback for my form, or to get better at writing although I'm sure I could definitely use some. But I would love to see what these ideas evoke and people, their stories, their concerns, their disagreements, and points of view.
Let me know if I'm breaking the rules, and if you want more discussions like this! I'm eager to talk about agency, addiction, customizing mental health interventions, combining self improvement with social impact, the effects of our construction of social status on happiness and growth, how we can make the internet more nuanced and promote mindful content vs polarized, absolutistic and quick dopamine hit formats.
Well, without further ado. Welcome and thank you.
What Does It Mean to Be a Strong Man?
I acknowledge that the question may be irrelevant. That we may not need a definition. These definitions do not apply to everyone who uses the same term. However, people, perhaps more commonly those who identify as men, do often choose a definition. It is often nebulous, implicit, acted out, and unexamined. An amalgamation of ideas we are fed by others, cultural norms, emotional reactions, stereotypes, and beliefs we buy into. These ideas come from many sources that we do not have the opportunity to question. Being told to not cry and be a man while growing up, the attempts of other men to portray themselves as strong whether fruitful or vain, narratives around celebrity, status, fame. These often influence us, and eventually have some influence on the stereotypes that form around the idea of being a man. Perhaps it would be helpful to examine these ideas. I find them quite problematic. Not because I want to erase the concept of manhood, but because I think they often do a disservice to what a man can be and embody. We are often led to believe that unless we act in a certain way, we are not men. That we are weak, that we are not valuable, that we will not be respected and loved. And that the way to avoid this is to conform, to become rigid and put up our walls and defenses. This can often lead to tragically unnecessary outcomes. Alienation, isolation, stress, inner critique, avoidance, low self-esteem, and perhaps even push people away and lash out at them. We are told we need to hustle and grind to live up to being a man, that unless we reach certain goals we are diminished and failures. And we are often certain not the ones to choose our goals, but they are imparted on us.
So are the stereotypes true? What is it to be a man? Is it to be wealthy, physically strong, intimidating, shouting, or aggressive? Are these traits that we often see espoused by what we've come to associate with masculinity? Is it to achieve nebulous "success" as defined by others, and at any cost? Is masculinity dependent on the admiration of others, and upon the validation of our romantic interests? Is this what is central to being a man? Are we falling for a false narrative? Or are these phenomena just a symptom of our confusion, and the result of not having a clear vision of what being a man can entail?
My experience tells me that by adopting these notions, we underestimate and undervalue what a man can be, giving way to and rationalizing insecurities. We assume, through this model, that we cannot deal with certain experiences with grace and severely limit our growth. Are we not suffocating our freedom by buying into these narratives? Perhaps it is our lack of role models that deprives us of formative experiences during childhood, of seeing men be a pillars of love and calm for others. Seeing them be truly loved and respected, without the need for any gimmicks, silver tongue, status games or other forms of compensation we are continuous told me need by companies and influencers.
No, I believe the reality of being a man is much more profound than that. That we are leaving so much on the table by not having this compass. That it can seem daunting, but infinitely rewarding. I also don't view it as a stressful obligation that needs to be met otherwise we are unworthy. Rather, an invitation. I believe our natural inclination and the identity in which we flourish most are far from these stereotypes. It seems to me that it is blocked and occluded by many factors. And the path to actualizing it is of acceptance. It is time to seek out an identity that defies all those gurus who try to make us feel insecure, to try to be like them, to buy their products, to keep trying to replicate techniques that only reinforce self-doubt and the idea that we cannot embody who we want to be, live the life we want without chasing shiny status symbols.
No, to be a man is much more than that.
The idea of a man is to be able to fully feel one's emotions, one's fears, without panicking, without changing one's behavior, and doing the loving right thing. People think that feeling weakens you, controls you. But a man still has the agency to choose how he responds to them without cowering and escaping them, and therefore blinding himself. A man can feel his sorrow and still show up to work. A man can feel insecure but not run away and go for what he wants. A man can feel small and not hide from others, but share his vulnerability and still choose to step up. A man can let himself feel desperate and needy but choose to respect his integrity and not try to control the situation to suppress how he feels. The beautiful thing is, you don't have to be there. We are often told that unless we hit the mark, we are shunned and not respected. I have found that to not be true, and my imperfect attempts to be open, to hold space, to feel, have brought people closer to me and gave them the opportunity to help me grown and support me when I am vulnerable. It created the space for people to accept me the way I am once I took the step to be vulnerable and reveal myself. And that has helped shed so many insecurities.
Being a man is to have the courage to love, whether vulnerable or with tough love, and boundaries. It is to choose freedom and feeling through pain rather than contracting and escaping. It is to be able to give space, to serve others, to love them, to support them. To show one's weakness without trying to escape it, while working on improving. It is to be resilient, resourceful, and proactive in doing what seems to be right without the need for control. It is loving oneself and not chasing validation from others. It is to love without expecting in return, which is very different from being used. It is to tell the truth even when it is difficult. It is to, with inner calm and gentleness, confront someone with the appropriate intensity when they hurt others, or themselves. It is to be your brother's keeper. It is to forgive. It is to protect those you love. It is to weather the storm of love with as much calm as possible. It is to let go of the need to prove oneself. It is to be an anchor. It is to take life with humor. It is to love others as fully-fledged human beings and not as a means to an end.
It is to realize that sexual gratification does not make a man, and yet to fearlessly and compassionately give yourself to your partner. To realize that wealth and status cannot weld inner rifts. It is to comfort one's inner child when its demons terrify it. It is to be a light onto this world and give space to the darkness. It is to accept responsibility and uphold it. It is to be free from the fear of losing freedom. These are all not exclusive to men, but qualities latent within us all.
However, if we decide to be men, let us be this sort of forgotten, powerful man. A man that does not need to belittle, a man that does not need to abuse, a man that recognizes his own beauty and strength and has faith in it when he feels small. That allows love to come in. A man that does not need to retaliate when others disturb him. That recognizes that nothing can reduce the being within, its potential, and the beauty of the world it projects into its consciousness through his eyes.
Men, believe in yourself. You can be who you want to be. You can create the life you want. You can attract the one you love. But society is letting you down. Instead of giving you tools that work, it shoves you on an eternal treadmill. A treadmill that only profits those who would see you be an obedient soldier, a consumer, a higher bracket taxpayer, or whatever pursuits or status our society brainwashes us to pursue.
You can do all these things, but let it be your choice. Make these things more attainable by growing, by reducing the inner conflict, by using the full power of your emotional awareness and regulation that is only unlocked by feeling. By understanding yourself and others better. By seeing things more clearly, not by following others' techniques and instructions only but by honing your perception and intelligence. So much social conditioning and consumer culture divide us, make us understand each other less, and make us alienated from other genders and groups. Sometimes so they can sell us their narrative and their products. Let us be free.
Easier said than done you say?
We truly live in a world that makes it harder to develop these qualities. Or perhaps these qualities are there, but their potential is suppressed and supplanted by other patterns. We often start off with trauma and life events that interfere with our growth. We try to cope, and the world can be harsh to our coping mechanisms. We model the world as we see it through our hurt selves, and we often blame ourselves for being stuck. Luckily, there are ways to break out of the cycle. It's unfortunate that most of us don't have access to people who guide us through the process. And most importantly, we are constantly distracted by strategies that don't work. Buy this course, go to this gym, buy these clothes, make more money, stress and push yourself, or get lost in the system trying to get therapy. We keep being told we need to be better, and enhance ourselves from the outside in. But we are not taught how much we can affect our mental software, how we can reshape our psyche, heal from patterns, and regain our natural social and emotional skills and self-esteem.
This requires calm, patience, time, and deliberate focus, but our focus is snatched away by millions of distractions and a barrage of FOMO. We are made to feel stressed and insecure, that we need to succeed and maximize our potential, so that we consume more tips, coffee, addictions, or work ourselves to death to the benefit of employers, tax agencies, or the general economy. We are told we don't have time to reflect, that if we make the wrong choice we are screwed, so we need to hurry and follow whatever beaten path is thrown onto us. We perpetually seek guidance, sometimes from people that masquerade as experts on YouTube for views and forget to strengthen our own intuition and remove whatever puts us on a leash.
We are social animals; we process information about social situations unconsciously far more effectively than through our thinking minds. Anxiety can block this, so we assume we lack knowledge and need to learn. We resent the anxiety and fight it, and get stuck in a perpetual battle we cannot win because we are using the wrong method. Then we blame ourselves. Make ourselves smaller. And the cycle continues, with more desperate attempts to exit the cycle and find more tips and tricks.
There is a way out, but it feels so counterintuitive that we expect it the least. Meeting ourselves where we are at, exposing ourselves to our fears and weaknesses, growing from there, sharing it with others, feeling—it all makes us feel like we will get stuck. The child that learned these lessons throws a tantrum at the possibility. But we are not children anymore. We needed these strategies in the past, but now they hold us back. We do not need to hide; we are capable of growing and learning to meet our own needs. And that is the way forward.
Do you truly think this kind of man is weak? That he is unable to achieve what he sets out to do? That women will gloss over? I have never been so comfortable and connected to women as when I started letting go of all the things above and being there. Calm, present, joyful, grounded in my own being, and creating space for the both of us; changing the dynamic forever into one of exploration, of love, of excitement, of ease, and of insight for the other person that sees that this mode is possible.
Let's build this reality together. Please, tell me what this made you think. Please argue and object, or ask questions. I am not an authority, but we are here to explore together, think independently and disagree. Perhaps we can reach more nuance and truth that way together. Share your experience with me. Share with me your ideas on how to create a world that does not inhibit the freedom of man but encourages his agency, helps him be better to others, and be a source of flourishing rather than anguish to women. And, let me know if you want me to write more. I have a lot of experience and ideas I haven't shared. If it helps, I will. Want to bounce off ideas on how to start implementing this? Just send me a text and i'll try to share some things that worked with me when I can :)

Hey, hope this is appropriate to post here! I've been working in the world of mental health and self-development for over a decade now and have had my journey of recovering from massive social anxiety and isolation. I've never really been active online and talked about these ideas with friends, coworkers, and partners. However, I feel inspired to stimulate some discussions I find are important and try to contribute to this and other similar communities. So I would like to share with you some reflections I wrote. I'd love to hear your thoughts and reflections. I'm not here to convince you of my ideas (although perhaps I can write persuasively sometimes), I am no authority, but I would love to hear your reflections, thoughts and discuss. I feel hopeful to try to find some truth together through this, and maybe think together as a community how we can make certain situations better for people. Of and please be very honest! I'm not looking for feedback for my form, or to get better at writing although I'm sure I could definitely use some. But I would love to see what these ideas evoke and people, their stories, their concerns, their disagreements, and points of view.
Let me know if I'm breaking the rules, and if you want more discussions like this! I'm eager to talk about agency, addiction, customizing mental health interventions, combining self improvement with social impact, the effects of our construction of social status on happiness and growth, how we can make the internet more nuanced and promote mindful content vs polarized, absolutistic and quick dopamine hit formats.
Well, without further ado. Welcome and thank you.
What Does It Mean to Be a Strong Man?
I acknowledge that the question may be irrelevant. That we may not need a definition. These definitions do not apply to everyone who uses the same term. However, people, perhaps more commonly those who identify as men, do often choose a definition. It is often nebulous, implicit, acted out, and unexamined. An amalgamation of ideas we are fed by others, cultural norms, emotional reactions, stereotypes, and beliefs we buy into. These ideas come from many sources that we do not have the opportunity to question. Being told to not cry and be a man while growing up, the attempts of other men to portray themselves as strong whether fruitful or vain, narratives around celebrity, status, fame. These often influence us, and eventually have some influence on the stereotypes that form around the idea of being a man. Perhaps it would be helpful to examine these ideas. I find them quite problematic. Not because I want to erase the concept of manhood, but because I think they often do a disservice to what a man can be and embody. We are often led to believe that unless we act in a certain way, we are not men. That we are weak, that we are not valuable, that we will not be respected and loved. And that the way to avoid this is to conform, to become rigid and put up our walls and defenses. This can often lead to tragically unnecessary outcomes. Alienation, isolation, stress, inner critique, avoidance, low self-esteem, and perhaps even push people away and lash out at them. We are told we need to hustle and grind to live up to being a man, that unless we reach certain goals we are diminished and failures. And we are often certain not the ones to choose our goals, but they are imparted on us.
So are the stereotypes true? What is it to be a man? Is it to be wealthy, physically strong, intimidating, shouting, or aggressive? Are these traits that we often see espoused by what we've come to associate with masculinity? Is it to achieve nebulous "success" as defined by others, and at any cost? Is masculinity dependent on the admiration of others, and upon the validation of our romantic interests? Is this what is central to being a man? Are we falling for a false narrative? Or are these phenomena just a symptom of our confusion, and the result of not having a clear vision of what being a man can entail?
My experience tells me that by adopting these notions, we underestimate and undervalue what a man can be, giving way to and rationalizing insecurities. We assume, through this model, that we cannot deal with certain experiences with grace and severely limit our growth. Are we not suffocating our freedom by buying into these narratives? Perhaps it is our lack of role models that deprives us of formative experiences during childhood, of seeing men be a pillars of love and calm for others. Seeing them be truly loved and respected, without the need for any gimmicks, silver tongue, status games or other forms of compensation we are continuous told me need by companies and influencers.
No, I believe the reality of being a man is much more profound than that. That we are leaving so much on the table by not having this compass. That it can seem daunting, but infinitely rewarding. I also don't view it as a stressful obligation that needs to be met otherwise we are unworthy. Rather, an invitation. I believe our natural inclination and the identity in which we flourish most are far from these stereotypes. It seems to me that it is blocked and occluded by many factors. And the path to actualizing it is of acceptance. It is time to seek out an identity that defies all those gurus who try to make us feel insecure, to try to be like them, to buy their products, to keep trying to replicate techniques that only reinforce self-doubt and the idea that we cannot embody who we want to be, live the life we want without chasing shiny status symbols.
No, to be a man is much more than that.
The idea of a man is to be able to fully feel one's emotions, one's fears, without panicking, without changing one's behavior, and doing the loving right thing. People think that feeling weakens you, controls you. But a man still has the agency to choose how he responds to them without cowering and escaping them, and therefore blinding himself. A man can feel his sorrow and still show up to work. A man can feel insecure but not run away and go for what he wants. A man can feel small and not hide from others, but share his vulnerability and still choose to step up. A man can let himself feel desperate and needy but choose to respect his integrity and not try to control the situation to suppress how he feels. The beautiful thing is, you don't have to be there. We are often told that unless we hit the mark, we are shunned and not respected. I have found that to not be true, and my imperfect attempts to be open, to hold space, to feel, have brought people closer to me and gave them the opportunity to help me grown and support me when I am vulnerable. It created the space for people to accept me the way I am once I took the step to be vulnerable and reveal myself. And that has helped shed so many insecurities.
Being a man is to have the courage to love, whether vulnerable or with tough love, and boundaries. It is to choose freedom and feeling through pain rather than contracting and escaping. It is to be able to give space, to serve others, to love them, to support them. To show one's weakness without trying to escape it, while working on improving. It is to be resilient, resourceful, and proactive in doing what seems to be right without the need for control. It is loving oneself and not chasing validation from others. It is to love without expecting in return, which is very different from being used. It is to tell the truth even when it is difficult. It is to, with inner calm and gentleness, confront someone with the appropriate intensity when they hurt others, or themselves. It is to be your brother's keeper. It is to forgive. It is to protect those you love. It is to weather the storm of love with as much calm as possible. It is to let go of the need to prove oneself. It is to be an anchor. It is to take life with humor. It is to love others as fully-fledged human beings and not as a means to an end.
It is to realize that sexual gratification does not make a man, and yet to fearlessly and compassionately give yourself to your partner. To realize that wealth and status cannot weld inner rifts. It is to comfort one's inner child when its demons terrify it. It is to be a light onto this world and give space to the darkness. It is to accept responsibility and uphold it. It is to be free from the fear of losing freedom. These are all not exclusive to men, but qualities latent within us all.
However, if we decide to be men, let us be this sort of forgotten, powerful man. A man that does not need to belittle, a man that does not need to abuse, a man that recognizes his own beauty and strength and has faith in it when he feels small. That allows love to come in. A man that does not need to retaliate when others disturb him. That recognizes that nothing can reduce the being within, its potential, and the beauty of the world it projects into its consciousness through his eyes.
Men, believe in yourself. You can be who you want to be. You can create the life you want. You can attract the one you love. But society is letting you down. Instead of giving you tools that work, it shoves you on an eternal treadmill. A treadmill that only profits those who would see you be an obedient soldier, a consumer, a higher bracket taxpayer, or whatever pursuits or status our society brainwashes us to pursue.
You can do all these things, but let it be your choice. Make these things more attainable by growing, by reducing the inner conflict, by using the full power of your emotional awareness and regulation that is only unlocked by feeling. By understanding yourself and others better. By seeing things more clearly, not by following others' techniques and instructions only but by honing your perception and intelligence. So much social conditioning and consumer culture divide us, make us understand each other less, and make us alienated from other genders and groups. Sometimes so they can sell us their narrative and their products. Let us be free.
Easier said than done you say?
We truly live in a world that makes it harder to develop these qualities. Or perhaps these qualities are there, but their potential is suppressed and supplanted by other patterns. We often start off with trauma and life events that interfere with our growth. We try to cope, and the world can be harsh to our coping mechanisms. We model the world as we see it through our hurt selves, and we often blame ourselves for being stuck. Luckily, there are ways to break out of the cycle. It's unfortunate that most of us don't have access to people who guide us through the process. And most importantly, we are constantly distracted by strategies that don't work. Buy this course, go to this gym, buy these clothes, make more money, stress and push yourself, or get lost in the system trying to get therapy. We keep being told we need to be better, and enhance ourselves from the outside in. But we are not taught how much we can affect our mental software, how we can reshape our psyche, heal from patterns, and regain our natural social and emotional skills and self-esteem.
This requires calm, patience, time, and deliberate focus, but our focus is snatched away by millions of distractions and a barrage of FOMO. We are made to feel stressed and insecure, that we need to succeed and maximize our potential, so that we consume more tips, coffee, addictions, or work ourselves to death to the benefit of employers, tax agencies, or the general economy. We are told we don't have time to reflect, that if we make the wrong choice we are screwed, so we need to hurry and follow whatever beaten path is thrown onto us. We perpetually seek guidance, sometimes from people that masquerade as experts on YouTube for views and forget to strengthen our own intuition and remove whatever puts us on a leash.
We are social animals; we process information about social situations unconsciously far more effectively than through our thinking minds. Anxiety can block this, so we assume we lack knowledge and need to learn. We resent the anxiety and fight it, and get stuck in a perpetual battle we cannot win because we are using the wrong method. Then we blame ourselves. Make ourselves smaller. And the cycle continues, with more desperate attempts to exit the cycle and find more tips and tricks.
There is a way out, but it feels so counterintuitive that we expect it the least. Meeting ourselves where we are at, exposing ourselves to our fears and weaknesses, growing from there, sharing it with others, feeling—it all makes us feel like we will get stuck. The child that learned these lessons throws a tantrum at the possibility. But we are not children anymore. We needed these strategies in the past, but now they hold us back. We do not need to hide; we are capable of growing and learning to meet our own needs. And that is the way forward.
Do you truly think this kind of man is weak? That he is unable to achieve what he sets out to do? That women will gloss over? I have never been so comfortable and connected to women as when I started letting go of all the things above and being there. Calm, present, joyful, grounded in my own being, and creating space for the both of us; changing the dynamic forever into one of exploration, of love, of excitement, of ease, and of insight for the other person that sees that this mode is possible.
Let's build this reality together. Please, tell me what this made you think. Please argue and object, or ask questions. I am not an authority, but we are here to explore together, think independently and disagree. Perhaps we can reach more nuance and truth that way together. Share your experience with me. Share with me your ideas on how to create a world that does not inhibit the freedom of man but encourages his agency, helps him be better to others, and be a source of flourishing rather than anguish to women. And, let me know if you want me to write more. I have a lot of experience and ideas I haven't shared. If it helps, I will. Want to bounce off ideas on how to start implementing this? Just send me a text and i'll try to share some things that worked with me when I can :)

Hey, hope this is appropriate to post here! I've been working in the world of mental health and self-development for over a decade now and have had my journey of recovering from massive social anxiety and isolation. I've never really been active online and talked about these ideas with friends, coworkers, and partners. However, I feel inspired to stimulate some discussions I find are important and try to contribute to this and other similar communities. So I would like to share with you some reflections I wrote. I'd love to hear your thoughts and reflections. I'm not here to convince you of my ideas (although perhaps I can write persuasively sometimes), I am no authority, but I would love to hear your reflections, thoughts and discuss. I feel hopeful to try to find some truth together through this, and maybe think together as a community how we can make certain situations better for people. Of and please be very honest! I'm not looking for feedback for my form, or to get better at writing although I'm sure I could definitely use some. But I would love to see what these ideas evoke and people, their stories, their concerns, their disagreements, and points of view.
Let me know if I'm breaking the rules, and if you want more discussions like this! I'm eager to talk about agency, addiction, customizing mental health interventions, combining self improvement with social impact, the effects of our construction of social status on happiness and growth, how we can make the internet more nuanced and promote mindful content vs polarized, absolutistic and quick dopamine hit formats.
Well, without further ado. Welcome and thank you.
What Does It Mean to Be a Strong Man?
I acknowledge that the question may be irrelevant. That we may not need a definition. These definitions do not apply to everyone who uses the same term. However, people, perhaps more commonly those who identify as men, do often choose a definition. It is often nebulous, implicit, acted out, and unexamined. An amalgamation of ideas we are fed by others, cultural norms, emotional reactions, stereotypes, and beliefs we buy into. These ideas come from many sources that we do not have the opportunity to question. Being told to not cry and be a man while growing up, the attempts of other men to portray themselves as strong whether fruitful or vain, narratives around celebrity, status, fame. These often influence us, and eventually have some influence on the stereotypes that form around the idea of being a man. Perhaps it would be helpful to examine these ideas. I find them quite problematic. Not because I want to erase the concept of manhood, but because I think they often do a disservice to what a man can be and embody. We are often led to believe that unless we act in a certain way, we are not men. That we are weak, that we are not valuable, that we will not be respected and loved. And that the way to avoid this is to conform, to become rigid and put up our walls and defenses. This can often lead to tragically unnecessary outcomes. Alienation, isolation, stress, inner critique, avoidance, low self-esteem, and perhaps even push people away and lash out at them. We are told we need to hustle and grind to live up to being a man, that unless we reach certain goals we are diminished and failures. And we are often certain not the ones to choose our goals, but they are imparted on us.
So are the stereotypes true? What is it to be a man? Is it to be wealthy, physically strong, intimidating, shouting, or aggressive? Are these traits that we often see espoused by what we've come to associate with masculinity? Is it to achieve nebulous "success" as defined by others, and at any cost? Is masculinity dependent on the admiration of others, and upon the validation of our romantic interests? Is this what is central to being a man? Are we falling for a false narrative? Or are these phenomena just a symptom of our confusion, and the result of not having a clear vision of what being a man can entail?
My experience tells me that by adopting these notions, we underestimate and undervalue what a man can be, giving way to and rationalizing insecurities. We assume, through this model, that we cannot deal with certain experiences with grace and severely limit our growth. Are we not suffocating our freedom by buying into these narratives? Perhaps it is our lack of role models that deprives us of formative experiences during childhood, of seeing men be a pillars of love and calm for others. Seeing them be truly loved and respected, without the need for any gimmicks, silver tongue, status games or other forms of compensation we are continuous told me need by companies and influencers.
No, I believe the reality of being a man is much more profound than that. That we are leaving so much on the table by not having this compass. That it can seem daunting, but infinitely rewarding. I also don't view it as a stressful obligation that needs to be met otherwise we are unworthy. Rather, an invitation. I believe our natural inclination and the identity in which we flourish most are far from these stereotypes. It seems to me that it is blocked and occluded by many factors. And the path to actualizing it is of acceptance. It is time to seek out an identity that defies all those gurus who try to make us feel insecure, to try to be like them, to buy their products, to keep trying to replicate techniques that only reinforce self-doubt and the idea that we cannot embody who we want to be, live the life we want without chasing shiny status symbols.
No, to be a man is much more than that.
The idea of a man is to be able to fully feel one's emotions, one's fears, without panicking, without changing one's behavior, and doing the loving right thing. People think that feeling weakens you, controls you. But a man still has the agency to choose how he responds to them without cowering and escaping them, and therefore blinding himself. A man can feel his sorrow and still show up to work. A man can feel insecure but not run away and go for what he wants. A man can feel small and not hide from others, but share his vulnerability and still choose to step up. A man can let himself feel desperate and needy but choose to respect his integrity and not try to control the situation to suppress how he feels. The beautiful thing is, you don't have to be there. We are often told that unless we hit the mark, we are shunned and not respected. I have found that to not be true, and my imperfect attempts to be open, to hold space, to feel, have brought people closer to me and gave them the opportunity to help me grown and support me when I am vulnerable. It created the space for people to accept me the way I am once I took the step to be vulnerable and reveal myself. And that has helped shed so many insecurities.
Being a man is to have the courage to love, whether vulnerable or with tough love, and boundaries. It is to choose freedom and feeling through pain rather than contracting and escaping. It is to be able to give space, to serve others, to love them, to support them. To show one's weakness without trying to escape it, while working on improving. It is to be resilient, resourceful, and proactive in doing what seems to be right without the need for control. It is loving oneself and not chasing validation from others. It is to love without expecting in return, which is very different from being used. It is to tell the truth even when it is difficult. It is to, with inner calm and gentleness, confront someone with the appropriate intensity when they hurt others, or themselves. It is to be your brother's keeper. It is to forgive. It is to protect those you love. It is to weather the storm of love with as much calm as possible. It is to let go of the need to prove oneself. It is to be an anchor. It is to take life with humor. It is to love others as fully-fledged human beings and not as a means to an end.
It is to realize that sexual gratification does not make a man, and yet to fearlessly and compassionately give yourself to your partner. To realize that wealth and status cannot weld inner rifts. It is to comfort one's inner child when its demons terrify it. It is to be a light onto this world and give space to the darkness. It is to accept responsibility and uphold it. It is to be free from the fear of losing freedom. These are all not exclusive to men, but qualities latent within us all.
However, if we decide to be men, let us be this sort of forgotten, powerful man. A man that does not need to belittle, a man that does not need to abuse, a man that recognizes his own beauty and strength and has faith in it when he feels small. That allows love to come in. A man that does not need to retaliate when others disturb him. That recognizes that nothing can reduce the being within, its potential, and the beauty of the world it projects into its consciousness through his eyes.
Men, believe in yourself. You can be who you want to be. You can create the life you want. You can attract the one you love. But society is letting you down. Instead of giving you tools that work, it shoves you on an eternal treadmill. A treadmill that only profits those who would see you be an obedient soldier, a consumer, a higher bracket taxpayer, or whatever pursuits or status our society brainwashes us to pursue.
You can do all these things, but let it be your choice. Make these things more attainable by growing, by reducing the inner conflict, by using the full power of your emotional awareness and regulation that is only unlocked by feeling. By understanding yourself and others better. By seeing things more clearly, not by following others' techniques and instructions only but by honing your perception and intelligence. So much social conditioning and consumer culture divide us, make us understand each other less, and make us alienated from other genders and groups. Sometimes so they can sell us their narrative and their products. Let us be free.
Easier said than done you say?
We truly live in a world that makes it harder to develop these qualities. Or perhaps these qualities are there, but their potential is suppressed and supplanted by other patterns. We often start off with trauma and life events that interfere with our growth. We try to cope, and the world can be harsh to our coping mechanisms. We model the world as we see it through our hurt selves, and we often blame ourselves for being stuck. Luckily, there are ways to break out of the cycle. It's unfortunate that most of us don't have access to people who guide us through the process. And most importantly, we are constantly distracted by strategies that don't work. Buy this course, go to this gym, buy these clothes, make more money, stress and push yourself, or get lost in the system trying to get therapy. We keep being told we need to be better, and enhance ourselves from the outside in. But we are not taught how much we can affect our mental software, how we can reshape our psyche, heal from patterns, and regain our natural social and emotional skills and self-esteem.
This requires calm, patience, time, and deliberate focus, but our focus is snatched away by millions of distractions and a barrage of FOMO. We are made to feel stressed and insecure, that we need to succeed and maximize our potential, so that we consume more tips, coffee, addictions, or work ourselves to death to the benefit of employers, tax agencies, or the general economy. We are told we don't have time to reflect, that if we make the wrong choice we are screwed, so we need to hurry and follow whatever beaten path is thrown onto us. We perpetually seek guidance, sometimes from people that masquerade as experts on YouTube for views and forget to strengthen our own intuition and remove whatever puts us on a leash.
We are social animals; we process information about social situations unconsciously far more effectively than through our thinking minds. Anxiety can block this, so we assume we lack knowledge and need to learn. We resent the anxiety and fight it, and get stuck in a perpetual battle we cannot win because we are using the wrong method. Then we blame ourselves. Make ourselves smaller. And the cycle continues, with more desperate attempts to exit the cycle and find more tips and tricks.
There is a way out, but it feels so counterintuitive that we expect it the least. Meeting ourselves where we are at, exposing ourselves to our fears and weaknesses, growing from there, sharing it with others, feeling—it all makes us feel like we will get stuck. The child that learned these lessons throws a tantrum at the possibility. But we are not children anymore. We needed these strategies in the past, but now they hold us back. We do not need to hide; we are capable of growing and learning to meet our own needs. And that is the way forward.
Do you truly think this kind of man is weak? That he is unable to achieve what he sets out to do? That women will gloss over? I have never been so comfortable and connected to women as when I started letting go of all the things above and being there. Calm, present, joyful, grounded in my own being, and creating space for the both of us; changing the dynamic forever into one of exploration, of love, of excitement, of ease, and of insight for the other person that sees that this mode is possible.
Let's build this reality together. Please, tell me what this made you think. Please argue and object, or ask questions. I am not an authority, but we are here to explore together, think independently and disagree. Perhaps we can reach more nuance and truth that way together. Share your experience with me. Share with me your ideas on how to create a world that does not inhibit the freedom of man but encourages his agency, helps him be better to others, and be a source of flourishing rather than anguish to women. And, let me know if you want me to write more. I have a lot of experience and ideas I haven't shared. If it helps, I will. Want to bounce off ideas on how to start implementing this? Just send me a text and i'll try to share some things that worked with me when I can :)

Hey, hope this is appropriate to post here! I've been working in the world of mental health and self-development for over a decade now. I've never really been active online and talked about these ideas with friends, coworkers, and partners. However, I feel inspired to stimulate some discussions I find are important and try to contribute to this and other similar communities. So I would like to share with you some reflections I wrote. I'd love to hear your thoughts and reflections. I'm not here to convince you of my ideas (although perhaps I can write persuasively sometimes), I am no authority, but I would love to hear your reflections, thoughts and discuss. I feel hopeful to try to find some truth together through this, and maybe think together as a community how we can make certain situations better for people. Of and please be very honest! I'm not looking for feedback for my form, or to get better at writing although I'm sure I could definitely use some. But I would love to see what these ideas evoke and people, their stories, their concerns, their disagreements, and points of view.
Let me know if I'm breaking the rules, and if you want more discussions like this! I'm eager to talk about agency, addiction, customizing mental health interventions, combining self improvement with social impact, the effects of our construction of social status on happiness and growth, how we can make the internet more nuanced and promote mindful content vs polarized, absolutistic and quick dopamine hit formats.
Well, without further ado. Welcome and thank you.
What Does It Mean to Be a Strong Man?
I acknowledge that the question may be irrelevant. That we may not need a definition. These definitions do not apply to everyone who uses the same term. However, people, perhaps more commonly those who identify as men, do often choose a definition. It is often nebulous, implicit, acted out, and unexamined. An amalgamation of ideas we are fed by others, cultural norms, emotional reactions, stereotypes, and beliefs we buy into. These ideas come from many sources that we do not have the opportunity to question. Being told to not cry and be a man while growing up, the attempts of other men to portray themselves as strong whether fruitful or vain, narratives around celebrity, status, fame. These often influence us, and eventually have some influence on the stereotypes that form around the idea of being a man. Perhaps it would be helpful to examine these ideas. I find them quite problematic. Not because I want to erase the concept of manhood, but because I think they often do a disservice to what a man can be and embody. We are often led to believe that unless we act in a certain way, we are not men. That we are weak, that we are not valuable, that we will not be respected and loved. And that the way to avoid this is to conform, to become rigid and put up our walls and defenses. This can often lead to tragically unnecessary outcomes. Alienation, isolation, stress, inner critique, avoidance, low self-esteem, and perhaps even push people away and lash out at them. We are told we need to hustle and grind to live up to being a man, that unless we reach certain goals we are diminished and failures. And we are often certain not the ones to choose our goals, but they are imparted on us.
So are the stereotypes true? What is it to be a man? Is it to be wealthy, physically strong, intimidating, shouting, or aggressive? Are these traits that we often see espoused by what we've come to associate with masculinity? Is it to achieve nebulous "success" as defined by others, and at any cost? Is masculinity dependent on the admiration of others, and upon the validation of our romantic interests? Is this what is central to being a man? Are we falling for a false narrative? Or are these phenomena just a symptom of our confusion, and the result of not having a clear vision of what being a man can entail?
My experience tells me that by adopting these notions, we underestimate and undervalue what a man can be, giving way to and rationalizing insecurities. We assume, through this model, that we cannot deal with certain experiences with grace and severely limit our growth. Are we not suffocating our freedom by buying into these narratives? Perhaps it is our lack of role models that deprives us of formative experiences during childhood, of seeing men be a pillars of love and calm for others. Seeing them be truly loved and respected, without the need for any gimmicks, silver tongue, status games or other forms of compensation we are continuous told me need by companies and influencers.
No, I believe the reality of being a man is much more profound than that. That we are leaving so much on the table by not having this compass. That it can seem daunting, but infinitely rewarding. I also don't view it as a stressful obligation that needs to be met otherwise we are unworthy. Rather, an invitation. I believe our natural inclination and the identity in which we flourish most are far from these stereotypes. It seems to me that it is blocked and occluded by many factors. And the path to actualizing it is of acceptance. It is time to seek out an identity that defies all those gurus who try to make us feel insecure, to try to be like them, to buy their products, to keep trying to replicate techniques that only reinforce self-doubt and the idea that we cannot embody who we want to be, live the life we want without chasing shiny status symbols.
No, to be a man is much more than that.
The idea of a man is to be able to fully feel one's emotions, one's fears, without panicking, without changing one's behavior, and doing the loving right thing. People think that feeling weakens you, controls you. But a man still has the agency to choose how he responds to them without cowering and escaping them, and therefore blinding himself. A man can feel his sorrow and still show up to work. A man can feel insecure but not run away and go for what he wants. A man can feel small and not hide from others, but share his vulnerability and still choose to step up. A man can let himself feel desperate and needy but choose to respect his integrity and not try to control the situation to suppress how he feels. The beautiful thing is, you don't have to be there. We are often told that unless we hit the mark, we are shunned and not respected. I have found that to not be true, and my imperfect attempts to be open, to hold space, to feel, have brought people closer to me and gave them the opportunity to help me grown and support me when I am vulnerable. It created the space for people to accept me the way I am once I took the step to be vulnerable and reveal myself. And that has helped shed so many insecurities.
Being a man is to have the courage to love, whether vulnerable or with tough love, and boundaries. It is to choose freedom and feeling through pain rather than contracting and escaping. It is to be able to give space, to serve others, to love them, to support them. To show one's weakness without trying to escape it, while working on improving. It is to be resilient, resourceful, and proactive in doing what seems to be right without the need for control. It is loving oneself and not chasing validation from others. It is to love without expecting in return, which is very different from being used. It is to tell the truth even when it is difficult. It is to, with inner calm and gentleness, confront someone with the appropriate intensity when they hurt others, or themselves. It is to be your brother's keeper. It is to forgive. It is to protect those you love. It is to weather the storm of love with as much calm as possible. It is to let go of the need to prove oneself. It is to be an anchor. It is to take life with humor. It is to love others as fully-fledged human beings and not as a means to an end.
It is to realize that sexual gratification does not make a man, and yet to fearlessly and compassionately give yourself to your partner. To realize that wealth and status cannot weld inner rifts. It is to comfort one's inner child when its demons terrify it. It is to be a light onto this world and give space to the darkness. It is to accept responsibility and uphold it. It is to be free from the fear of losing freedom. These are all not exclusive to men, but qualities latent within us all.
However, if we decide to be men, let us be this sort of forgotten, powerful man. A man that does not need to belittle, a man that does not need to abuse, a man that recognizes his own beauty and strength and has faith in it when he feels small. That allows love to come in. A man that does not need to retaliate when others disturb him. That recognizes that nothing can reduce the being within, its potential, and the beauty of the world it projects into its consciousness through his eyes.
Men, believe in yourself. You can be who you want to be. You can create the life you want. You can attract the one you love. But society is letting you down. Instead of giving you tools that work, it shoves you on an eternal treadmill. A treadmill that only profits those who would see you be an obedient soldier, a consumer, a higher bracket taxpayer, or whatever pursuits or status our society brainwashes us to pursue.
You can do all these things, but let it be your choice. Make these things more attainable by growing, by reducing the inner conflict, by using the full power of your emotional awareness and regulation that is only unlocked by feeling. By understanding yourself and others better. By seeing things more clearly, not by following others' techniques and instructions only but by honing your perception and intelligence. So much social conditioning and consumer culture divide us, make us understand each other less, and make us alienated from other genders and groups. Sometimes so they can sell us their narrative and their products. Let us be free.
Easier said than done you say?
We truly live in a world that makes it harder to develop these qualities. Or perhaps these qualities are there, but their potential is suppressed and supplanted by other patterns. We often start off with trauma and life events that interfere with our growth. We try to cope, and the world can be harsh to our coping mechanisms. We model the world as we see it through our hurt selves, and we often blame ourselves for being stuck. Luckily, there are ways to break out of the cycle. It's unfortunate that most of us don't have access to people who guide us through the process. And most importantly, we are constantly distracted by strategies that don't work. Buy this course, go to this gym, buy these clothes, make more money, stress and push yourself, or get lost in the system trying to get therapy. We keep being told we need to be better, and enhance ourselves from the outside in. But we are not taught how much we can affect our mental software, how we can reshape our psyche, heal from patterns, and regain our natural social and emotional skills and self-esteem.
This requires calm, patience, time, and deliberate focus, but our focus is snatched away by millions of distractions and a barrage of FOMO. We are made to feel stressed and insecure, that we need to succeed and maximize our potential, so that we consume more tips, coffee, addictions, or work ourselves to death to the benefit of employers, tax agencies, or the general economy. We are told we don't have time to reflect, that if we make the wrong choice we are screwed, so we need to hurry and follow whatever beaten path is thrown onto us. We perpetually seek guidance, sometimes from people that masquerade as experts on YouTube for views and forget to strengthen our own intuition and remove whatever puts us on a leash.
We are social animals; we process information about social situations unconsciously far more effectively than through our thinking minds. Anxiety can block this, so we assume we lack knowledge and need to learn. We resent the anxiety and fight it, and get stuck in a perpetual battle we cannot win because we are using the wrong method. Then we blame ourselves. Make ourselves smaller. And the cycle continues, with more desperate attempts to exit the cycle and find more tips and tricks.
There is a way out, but it feels so counterintuitive that we expect it the least. Meeting ourselves where we are at, exposing ourselves to our fears and weaknesses, growing from there, sharing it with others, feeling—it all makes us feel like we will get stuck. The child that learned these lessons throws a tantrum at the possibility. But we are not children anymore. We needed these strategies in the past, but now they hold us back. We do not need to hide; we are capable of growing and learning to meet our own needs. And that is the way forward.
Do you truly think this kind of man is weak? That he is unable to achieve what he sets out to do? That women will gloss over? I have never been so comfortable and connected to women as when I started letting go of all the things above and being there. Calm, present, joyful, grounded in my own being, and creating space for the both of us; changing the dynamic forever into one of exploration, of love, of excitement, of ease, and of insight for the other person that sees that this mode is possible.
Let's build this reality together. Please, tell me what this made you think. Please argue and object, or ask questions. I am not an authority, but we are here to explore together, think independently and disagree. Perhaps we can reach more nuance and truth that way together. Share your experience with me. Share with me your ideas on how to create a world that does not inhibit the freedom of man but encourages his agency, helps him be better to others, and be a source of flourishing rather than anguish to women. And, let me know if you want me to write more. I have a lot of experience and ideas I haven't shared. If it helps, I will. Want to bounce off ideas on how to start implementing this? Just send me a text and i'll try to share some things that worked with me when I can😊

Hey, hope this is appropriate to post here! I've been working in the world of mental health and self-development for over a decade now. I've never really been active online and talked about these ideas with friends, coworkers, and partners. However, I feel inspired to stimulate some discussions I find are important and try to contribute to this and other similar communities. So I would like to share with you some reflections I wrote. I'd love to hear your thoughts and reflections. I'm not here to convince you of my ideas (although perhaps I can write persuasively sometimes), I am no authority, but I would love to hear your reflections, thoughts and discuss. I feel hopeful to try to find some truth together through this, and maybe think together as a community how we can make certain situations better for people. Of and please be very honest! I'm not looking for feedback for my form, or to get better at writing although I'm sure I could definitely use some. But I would love to see what these ideas evoke and people, their stories, their concerns, their disagreements, and points of view.
Let me know if I'm breaking the rules, and if you want more discussions like this! I'm eager to talk about agency, addiction, customizing mental health interventions, combining self improvement with social impact, the effects of our construction of social status on happiness and growth, how we can make the internet more nuanced and promote mindful content vs polarized, absolutistic and quick dopamine hit formats.
Well, without further ado. Welcome and thank you.
What Does It Mean to Be a Strong Man?
I acknowledge that the question may be irrelevant. That we may not need a definition. These definitions do not apply to everyone who uses the same term. However, people, perhaps more commonly those who identify as men, do often choose a definition. It is often nebulous, implicit, acted out, and unexamined. An amalgamation of ideas we are fed by others, cultural norms, emotional reactions, stereotypes, and beliefs we buy into. These ideas come from many sources that we do not have the opportunity to question. Being told to not cry and be a man while growing up, the attempts of other men to portray themselves as strong whether fruitful or vain, narratives around celebrity, status, fame. These often influence us, and eventually have some influence on the stereotypes that form around the idea of being a man. Perhaps it would be helpful to examine these ideas. I find them quite problematic. Not because I want to erase the concept of manhood, but because I think they often do a disservice to what a man can be and embody. We are often led to believe that unless we act in a certain way, we are not men. That we are weak, that we are not valuable, that we will not be respected and loved. And that the way to avoid this is to conform, to become rigid and put up our walls and defenses. This can often lead to tragically unnecessary outcomes. Alienation, isolation, stress, inner critique, avoidance, low self-esteem, and perhaps even push people away and lash out at them. We are told we need to hustle and grind to live up to being a man, that unless we reach certain goals we are diminished and failures. And we are often certain not the ones to choose our goals, but they are imparted on us.
So are the stereotypes true? What is it to be a man? Is it to be wealthy, physically strong, intimidating, shouting, or aggressive? Are these traits that we often see espoused by what we've come to associate with masculinity? Is it to achieve nebulous "success" as defined by others, and at any cost? Is masculinity dependent on the admiration of others, and upon the validation of our romantic interests? Is this what is central to being a man? Are we falling for a false narrative? Or are these phenomena just a symptom of our confusion, and the result of not having a clear vision of what being a man can entail?
My experience tells me that by adopting these notions, we underestimate and undervalue what a man can be, giving way to and rationalizing insecurities. We assume, through this model, that we cannot deal with certain experiences with grace and severely limit our growth. Are we not suffocating our freedom by buying into these narratives? Perhaps it is our lack of role models that deprives us of formative experiences during childhood, of seeing men be a pillars of love and calm for others. Seeing them be truly loved and respected, without the need for any gimmicks, silver tongue, status games or other forms of compensation we are continuous told me need by companies and influencers.
No, I believe the reality of being a man is much more profound than that. That we are leaving so much on the table by not having this compass. That it can seem daunting, but infinitely rewarding. I also don't view it as a stressful obligation that needs to be met otherwise we are unworthy. Rather, an invitation. I believe our natural inclination and the identity in which we flourish most are far from these stereotypes. It seems to me that it is blocked and occluded by many factors. And the path to actualizing it is of acceptance. It is time to seek out an identity that defies all those gurus who try to make us feel insecure, to try to be like them, to buy their products, to keep trying to replicate techniques that only reinforce self-doubt and the idea that we cannot embody who we want to be, live the life we want without chasing shiny status symbols.
No, to be a man is much more than that.
The idea of a man is to be able to fully feel one's emotions, one's fears, without panicking, without changing one's behavior, and doing the loving right thing. People think that feeling weakens you, controls you. But a man still has the agency to choose how he responds to them without cowering and escaping them, and therefore blinding himself. A man can feel his sorrow and still show up to work. A man can feel insecure but not run away and go for what he wants. A man can feel small and not hide from others, but share his vulnerability and still choose to step up. A man can let himself feel desperate and needy but choose to respect his integrity and not try to control the situation to suppress how he feels. The beautiful thing is, you don't have to be there. We are often told that unless we hit the mark, we are shunned and not respected. I have found that to not be true, and my imperfect attempts to be open, to hold space, to feel, have brought people closer to me and gave them the opportunity to help me grown and support me when I am vulnerable. It created the space for people to accept me the way I am once I took the step to be vulnerable and reveal myself. And that has helped shed so many insecurities.
Being a man is to have the courage to love, whether vulnerable or with tough love, and boundaries. It is to choose freedom and feeling through pain rather than contracting and escaping. It is to be able to give space, to serve others, to love them, to support them. To show one's weakness without trying to escape it, while working on improving. It is to be resilient, resourceful, and proactive in doing what seems to be right without the need for control. It is loving oneself and not chasing validation from others. It is to love without expecting in return, which is very different from being used. It is to tell the truth even when it is difficult. It is to, with inner calm and gentleness, confront someone with the appropriate intensity when they hurt others, or themselves. It is to be your brother's keeper. It is to forgive. It is to protect those you love. It is to weather the storm of love with as much calm as possible. It is to let go of the need to prove oneself. It is to be an anchor. It is to take life with humor. It is to love others as fully-fledged human beings and not as a means to an end.
It is to realize that sexual gratification does not make a man, and yet to fearlessly and compassionately give yourself to your partner. To realize that wealth and status cannot weld inner rifts. It is to comfort one's inner child when its demons terrify it. It is to be a light onto this world and give space to the darkness. It is to accept responsibility and uphold it. It is to be free from the fear of losing freedom. These are all not exclusive to men, but qualities latent within us all.
However, if we decide to be men, let us be this sort of forgotten, powerful man. A man that does not need to belittle, a man that does not need to abuse, a man that recognizes his own beauty and strength and has faith in it when he feels small. That allows love to come in. A man that does not need to retaliate when others disturb him. That recognizes that nothing can reduce the being within, its potential, and the beauty of the world it projects into its consciousness through his eyes.
Men, believe in yourself. You can be who you want to be. You can create the life you want. You can attract the one you love. But society is letting you down. Instead of giving you tools that work, it shoves you on an eternal treadmill. A treadmill that only profits those who would see you be an obedient soldier, a consumer, a higher bracket taxpayer, or whatever pursuits or status our society brainwashes us to pursue.
You can do all these things, but let it be your choice. Make these things more attainable by growing, by reducing the inner conflict, by using the full power of your emotional awareness and regulation that is only unlocked by feeling. By understanding yourself and others better. By seeing things more clearly, not by following others' techniques and instructions only but by honing your perception and intelligence. So much social conditioning and consumer culture divide us, make us understand each other less, and make us alienated from other genders and groups. Sometimes so they can sell us their narrative and their products. Let us be free.
Easier said than done you say?
We truly live in a world that makes it harder to develop these qualities. Or perhaps these qualities are there, but their potential is suppressed and supplanted by other patterns. We often start off with trauma and life events that interfere with our growth. We try to cope, and the world can be harsh to our coping mechanisms. We model the world as we see it through our hurt selves, and we often blame ourselves for being stuck. Luckily, there are ways to break out of the cycle. It's unfortunate that most of us don't have access to people who guide us through the process. And most importantly, we are constantly distracted by strategies that don't work. Buy this course, go to this gym, buy these clothes, make more money, stress and push yourself, or get lost in the system trying to get therapy. We keep being told we need to be better, and enhance ourselves from the outside in. But we are not taught how much we can affect our mental software, how we can reshape our psyche, heal from patterns, and regain our natural social and emotional skills and self-esteem.
This requires calm, patience, time, and deliberate focus, but our focus is snatched away by millions of distractions and a barrage of FOMO. We are made to feel stressed and insecure, that we need to succeed and maximize our potential, so that we consume more tips, coffee, addictions, or work ourselves to death to the benefit of employers, tax agencies, or the general economy. We are told we don't have time to reflect, that if we make the wrong choice we are screwed, so we need to hurry and follow whatever beaten path is thrown onto us. We perpetually seek guidance, sometimes from people that masquerade as experts on YouTube for views and forget to strengthen our own intuition and remove whatever puts us on a leash.
We are social animals; we process information about social situations unconsciously far more effectively than through our thinking minds. Anxiety can block this, so we assume we lack knowledge and need to learn. We resent the anxiety and fight it, and get stuck in a perpetual battle we cannot win because we are using the wrong method. Then we blame ourselves. Make ourselves smaller. And the cycle continues, with more desperate attempts to exit the cycle and find more tips and tricks.
There is a way out, but it feels so counterintuitive that we expect it the least. Meeting ourselves where we are at, exposing ourselves to our fears and weaknesses, growing from there, sharing it with others, feeling—it all makes us feel like we will get stuck. The child that learned these lessons throws a tantrum at the possibility. But we are not children anymore. We needed these strategies in the past, but now they hold us back. We do not need to hide; we are capable of growing and learning to meet our own needs. And that is the way forward.
Do you truly think this kind of man is weak? That he is unable to achieve what he sets out to do? That women will gloss over? I have never been so comfortable and connected to women as when I started letting go of all the things above and being there. Calm, present, joyful, grounded in my own being, and creating space for the both of us; changing the dynamic forever into one of exploration, of love, of excitement, of ease, and of insight for the other person that sees that this mode is possible.
Let's build this reality together. Please, tell me what this made you think. Please argue and object, or ask questions. I am not an authority, but we are here to explore together, think independently and disagree. Perhaps we can reach more nuance and truth that way together. Share your experience with me. Share with me your ideas on how to create a world that does not inhibit the freedom of man but encourages his agency, helps him be better to others, and be a source of flourishing rather than anguish to women. And, let me know if you want me to write more. I have a lot of experience and ideas I haven't shared. If it helps, I will. Want to bounce off ideas on how to start implementing this? Just send me a text and i'll try to share some things that worked with me when I can😊

Hey, hope this is appropriate to post here! I've been working in the world of mental health and self-development for over a decade now. I've never really been active online and talked about these ideas with friends, coworkers, and partners. However, I feel inspired to stimulate some discussions I find are important and try to contribute to this and other similar communities. So I would like to share with you some reflections I wrote. I'd love to hear your thoughts and reflections. I'm not here to convince you of my ideas (although perhaps I can write persuasively sometimes), I am no authority, but I would love to hear your reflections, thoughts and discuss. I feel hopeful to try to find some truth together through this, and maybe think together as a community how we can make certain situations better for people. Of and please be very honest! I'm not looking for feedback for my form, or to get better at writing although I'm sure I could definitely use some. But I would love to see what these ideas evoke and people, their stories, their concerns, their disagreements, and points of view.
Let me know if I'm breaking the rules, and if you want more discussions like this! I'm eager to talk about agency, addiction, customizing mental health interventions, combining self improvement with social impact, the effects of our construction of social status on happiness and growth, how we can make the internet more nuanced and promote mindful content vs polarized, absolutistic and quick dopamine hit formats.
Well, without further ado. Welcome and thank you.
What Does It Mean to Be a Strong Man?
I acknowledge that the question may be irrelevant. That we may not need a definition. These definitions do not apply to everyone who uses the same term. However, people, perhaps more commonly those who identify as men, do often choose a definition. It is often nebulous, implicit, acted out, and unexamined. An amalgamation of ideas we are fed by others, cultural norms, emotional reactions, stereotypes, and beliefs we buy into. These ideas come from many sources that we do not have the opportunity to question. Being told to not cry and be a man while growing up, the attempts of other men to portray themselves as strong whether fruitful or vain, narratives around celebrity, status, fame. These often influence us, and eventually have some influence on the stereotypes that form around the idea of being a man. Perhaps it would be helpful to examine these ideas. I find them quite problematic. Not because I want to erase the concept of manhood, but because I think they often do a disservice to what a man can be and embody. We are often led to believe that unless we act in a certain way, we are not men. That we are weak, that we are not valuable, that we will not be respected and loved. And that the way to avoid this is to conform, to become rigid and put up our walls and defenses. This can often lead to tragically unnecessary outcomes. Alienation, isolation, stress, inner critique, avoidance, low self-esteem, and perhaps even push people away and lash out at them. We are told we need to hustle and grind to live up to being a man, that unless we reach certain goals we are diminished and failures. And we are often certain not the ones to choose our goals, but they are imparted on us.
So are the stereotypes true? What is it to be a man? Is it to be wealthy, physically strong, intimidating, shouting, or aggressive? Are these traits that we often see espoused by what we've come to associate with masculinity? Is it to achieve nebulous "success" as defined by others, and at any cost? Is masculinity dependent on the admiration of others, and upon the validation of our romantic interests? Is this what is central to being a man? Are we falling for a false narrative? Or are these phenomena just a symptom of our confusion, and the result of not having a clear vision of what being a man can entail?
My experience tells me that by adopting these notions, we underestimate and undervalue what a man can be, giving way to and rationalizing insecurities. We assume, through this model, that we cannot deal with certain experiences with grace and severely limit our growth. Are we not suffocating our freedom by buying into these narratives? Perhaps it is our lack of role models that deprives us of formative experiences during childhood, of seeing men be a pillars of love and calm for others. Seeing them be truly loved and respected, without the need for any gimmicks, silver tongue, status games or other forms of compensation we are continuous told me need by companies and influencers.
No, I believe the reality of being a man is much more profound than that. That we are leaving so much on the table by not having this compass. That it can seem daunting, but infinitely rewarding. I also don't view it as a stressful obligation that needs to be met otherwise we are unworthy. Rather, an invitation. I believe our natural inclination and the identity in which we flourish most are far from these stereotypes. It seems to me that it is blocked and occluded by many factors. And the path to actualizing it is of acceptance. It is time to seek out an identity that defies all those gurus who try to make us feel insecure, to try to be like them, to buy their products, to keep trying to replicate techniques that only reinforce self-doubt and the idea that we cannot embody who we want to be, live the life we want without chasing shiny status symbols.
No, to be a man is much more than that.
The idea of a man is to be able to fully feel one's emotions, one's fears, without panicking, without changing one's behavior, and doing the loving right thing. People think that feeling weakens you, controls you. But a man still has the agency to choose how he responds to them without cowering and escaping them, and therefore blinding himself. A man can feel his sorrow and still show up to work. A man can feel insecure but not run away and go for what he wants. A man can feel small and not hide from others, but share his vulnerability and still choose to step up. A man can let himself feel desperate and needy but choose to respect his integrity and not try to control the situation to suppress how he feels. The beautiful thing is, you don't have to be there. We are often told that unless we hit the mark, we are shunned and not respected. I have found that to not be true, and my imperfect attempts to be open, to hold space, to feel, have brought people closer to me and gave them the opportunity to help me grown and support me when I am vulnerable. It created the space for people to accept me the way I am once I took the step to be vulnerable and reveal myself. And that has helped shed so many insecurities.
Being a man is to have the courage to love, whether vulnerable or with tough love, and boundaries. It is to choose freedom and feeling through pain rather than contracting and escaping. It is to be able to give space, to serve others, to love them, to support them. To show one's weakness without trying to escape it, while working on improving. It is to be resilient, resourceful, and proactive in doing what seems to be right without the need for control. It is loving oneself and not chasing validation from others. It is to love without expecting in return, which is very different from being used. It is to tell the truth even when it is difficult. It is to, with inner calm and gentleness, confront someone with the appropriate intensity when they hurt others, or themselves. It is to be your brother's keeper. It is to forgive. It is to protect those you love. It is to weather the storm of love with as much calm as possible. It is to let go of the need to prove oneself. It is to be an anchor. It is to take life with humor. It is to love others as fully-fledged human beings and not as a means to an end.
It is to realize that sexual gratification does not make a man, and yet to fearlessly and compassionately give yourself to your partner. To realize that wealth and status cannot weld inner rifts. It is to comfort one's inner child when its demons terrify it. It is to be a light onto this world and give space to the darkness. It is to accept responsibility and uphold it. It is to be free from the fear of losing freedom. These are all not exclusive to men, but qualities latent within us all.
However, if we decide to be men, let us be this sort of forgotten, powerful man. A man that does not need to belittle, a man that does not need to abuse, a man that recognizes his own beauty and strength and has faith in it when he feels small. That allows love to come in. A man that does not need to retaliate when others disturb him. That recognizes that nothing can reduce the being within, its potential, and the beauty of the world it projects into its consciousness through his eyes.
Men, believe in yourself. You can be who you want to be. You can create the life you want. You can attract the one you love. But society is letting you down. Instead of giving you tools that work, it shoves you on an eternal treadmill. A treadmill that only profits those who would see you be an obedient soldier, a consumer, a higher bracket taxpayer, or whatever pursuits or status our society brainwashes us to pursue.
You can do all these things, but let it be your choice. Make these things more attainable by growing, by reducing the inner conflict, by using the full power of your emotional awareness and regulation that is only unlocked by feeling. By understanding yourself and others better. By seeing things more clearly, not by following others' techniques and instructions only but by honing your perception and intelligence. So much social conditioning and consumer culture divide us, make us understand each other less, and make us alienated from other genders and groups. Sometimes so they can sell us their narrative and their products. Let us be free.
Easier said than done you say?
We truly live in a world that makes it harder to develop these qualities. Or perhaps these qualities are there, but their potential is suppressed and supplanted by other patterns. We often start off with trauma and life events that interfere with our growth. We try to cope, and the world can be harsh to our coping mechanisms. We model the world as we see it through our hurt selves, and we often blame ourselves for being stuck. Luckily, there are ways to break out of the cycle. It's unfortunate that most of us don't have access to people who guide us through the process. And most importantly, we are constantly distracted by strategies that don't work. Buy this course, go to this gym, buy these clothes, make more money, stress and push yourself, or get lost in the system trying to get therapy. We keep being told we need to be better, and enhance ourselves from the outside in. But we are not taught how much we can affect our mental software, how we can reshape our psyche, heal from patterns, and regain our natural social and emotional skills and self-esteem.
This requires calm, patience, time, and deliberate focus, but our focus is snatched away by millions of distractions and a barrage of FOMO. We are made to feel stressed and insecure, that we need to succeed and maximize our potential, so that we consume more tips, coffee, addictions, or work ourselves to death to the benefit of employers, tax agencies, or the general economy. We are told we don't have time to reflect, that if we make the wrong choice we are screwed, so we need to hurry and follow whatever beaten path is thrown onto us. We perpetually seek guidance, sometimes from people that masquerade as experts on YouTube for views and forget to strengthen our own intuition and remove whatever puts us on a leash.
We are social animals; we process information about social situations unconsciously far more effectively than through our thinking minds. Anxiety can block this, so we assume we lack knowledge and need to learn. We resent the anxiety and fight it, and get stuck in a perpetual battle we cannot win because we are using the wrong method. Then we blame ourselves. Make ourselves smaller. And the cycle continues, with more desperate attempts to exit the cycle and find more tips and tricks.
There is a way out, but it feels so counterintuitive that we expect it the least. Meeting ourselves where we are at, exposing ourselves to our fears and weaknesses, growing from there, sharing it with others, feeling—it all makes us feel like we will get stuck. The child that learned these lessons throws a tantrum at the possibility. But we are not children anymore. We needed these strategies in the past, but now they hold us back. We do not need to hide; we are capable of growing and learning to meet our own needs. And that is the way forward.
Do you truly think this kind of man is weak? That he is unable to achieve what he sets out to do? That women will gloss over? I have never been so comfortable and connected to women as when I started letting go of all the things above and being there. Calm, present, joyful, grounded in my own being, and creating space for the both of us; changing the dynamic forever into one of exploration, of love, of excitement, of ease, and of insight for the other person that sees that this mode is possible.
Let's build this reality together. Please, tell me what this made you think. Please argue and object, or ask questions. I am not an authority, but we are here to explore together, think independently and disagree. Perhaps we can reach more nuance and truth that way together. Share your experience with me. Share with me your ideas on how to create a world that does not inhibit the freedom of man but encourages his agency, helps him be better to others, and be a source of flourishing rather than anguish to women. And, let me know if you want me to write more. I have a lot of experience and ideas I haven't shared. If it helps, I will. Want to bounce off ideas on how to start implementing this? Just send me a text and i'll try to share some things that worked with me when I can😊

Hey, hope this is appropriate to post here! I've been working in the world of mental health and self-development for over a decade now. I've never really been active online and talked about these ideas with friends, coworkers, and partners. However, I feel inspired to stimulate some discussions I find are important and try to contribute to this and other similar communities. So I would like to share with you some reflections I wrote. I'd love to hear your thoughts and reflections. I'm not here to convince you of my ideas (although perhaps I can write persuasively sometimes), I am no authority, but I would love to hear your reflections, thoughts and discuss. I feel hopeful to try to find some truth together through this, and maybe think together as a community how we can make certain situations better for people. Of and please be very honest! I'm not looking for feedback for my form, or to get better at writing although I'm sure I could definitely use some. But I would love to see what these ideas evoke and people, their stories, their concerns, their disagreements, and points of view.
Let me know if I'm breaking the rules, and if you want more discussions like this! I'm eager to talk about agency, addiction, customizing mental health interventions, combining self improvement with social impact, the effects of our construction of social status on happiness and growth, how we can make the internet more nuanced and promote mindful content vs polarized, absolutistic and quick dopamine hit formats.
Well, without further ado. Welcome and thank you.
What Does It Mean to Be a Strong Man?
I acknowledge that the question may be irrelevant. That we may not need a definition. These definitions do not apply to everyone who uses the same term. However, people, perhaps more commonly those who identify as men, do often choose a definition. It is often nebulous, implicit, acted out, and unexamined. An amalgamation of ideas we are fed by others, cultural norms, emotional reactions, stereotypes, and beliefs we buy into. These ideas come from many sources that we do not have the opportunity to question. Being told to not cry and be a man while growing up, the attempts of other men to portray themselves as strong whether fruitful or vain, narratives around celebrity, status, fame. These often influence us, and eventually have some influence on the stereotypes that form around the idea of being a man. Perhaps it would be helpful to examine these ideas. I find them quite problematic. Not because I want to erase the concept of manhood, but because I think they often do a disservice to what a man can be and embody. We are often led to believe that unless we act in a certain way, we are not men. That we are weak, that we are not valuable, that we will not be respected and loved. And that the way to avoid this is to conform, to become rigid and put up our walls and defenses. This can often lead to tragically unnecessary outcomes. Alienation, isolation, stress, inner critique, avoidance, low self-esteem, and perhaps even push people away and lash out at them. We are told we need to hustle and grind to live up to being a man, that unless we reach certain goals we are diminished and failures. And we are often certain not the ones to choose our goals, but they are imparted on us.
So are the stereotypes true? What is it to be a man? Is it to be wealthy, physically strong, intimidating, shouting, or aggressive? Are these traits that we often see espoused by what we've come to associate with masculinity? Is it to achieve nebulous "success" as defined by others, and at any cost? Is masculinity dependent on the admiration of others, and upon the validation of our romantic interests? Is this what is central to being a man? Are we falling for a false narrative? Or are these phenomena just a symptom of our confusion, and the result of not having a clear vision of what being a man can entail?
My experience tells me that by adopting these notions, we underestimate and undervalue what a man can be, giving way to and rationalizing insecurities. We assume, through this model, that we cannot deal with certain experiences with grace and severely limit our growth. Are we not suffocating our freedom by buying into these narratives? Perhaps it is our lack of role models that deprives us of formative experiences during childhood, of seeing men be a pillars of love and calm for others. Seeing them be truly loved and respected, without the need for any gimmicks, silver tongue, status games or other forms of compensation we are continuous told me need by companies and influencers.
No, I believe the reality of being a man is much more profound than that. That we are leaving so much on the table by not having this compass. That it can seem daunting, but infinitely rewarding. I also don't view it as a stressful obligation that needs to be met otherwise we are unworthy. Rather, an invitation. I believe our natural inclination and the identity in which we flourish most are far from these stereotypes. It seems to me that it is blocked and occluded by many factors. And the path to actualizing it is of acceptance. It is time to seek out an identity that defies all those gurus who try to make us feel insecure, to try to be like them, to buy their products, to keep trying to replicate techniques that only reinforce self-doubt and the idea that we cannot embody who we want to be, live the life we want without chasing shiny status symbols.
No, to be a man is much more than that.
The idea of a man is to be able to fully feel one's emotions, one's fears, without panicking, without changing one's behavior, and doing the loving right thing. People think that feeling weakens you, controls you. But a man still has the agency to choose how he responds to them without cowering and escaping them, and therefore blinding himself. A man can feel his sorrow and still show up to work. A man can feel insecure but not run away and go for what he wants. A man can feel small and not hide from others, but share his vulnerability and still choose to step up. A man can let himself feel desperate and needy but choose to respect his integrity and not try to control the situation to suppress how he feels. The beautiful thing is, you don't have to be there. We are often told that unless we hit the mark, we are shunned and not respected. I have found that to not be true, and my imperfect attempts to be open, to hold space, to feel, have brought people closer to me and gave them the opportunity to help me grown and support me when I am vulnerable. It created the space for people to accept me the way I am once I took the step to be vulnerable and reveal myself. And that has helped shed so many insecurities.
Being a man is to have the courage to love, whether vulnerable or with tough love, and boundaries. It is to choose freedom and feeling through pain rather than contracting and escaping. It is to be able to give space, to serve others, to love them, to support them. To show one's weakness without trying to escape it, while working on improving. It is to be resilient, resourceful, and proactive in doing what seems to be right without the need for control. It is loving oneself and not chasing validation from others. It is to love without expecting in return, which is very different from being used. It is to tell the truth even when it is difficult. It is to, with inner calm and gentleness, confront someone with the appropriate intensity when they hurt others, or themselves. It is to be your brother's keeper. It is to forgive. It is to protect those you love. It is to weather the storm of love with as much calm as possible. It is to let go of the need to prove oneself. It is to be an anchor. It is to take life with humor. It is to love others as fully-fledged human beings and not as a means to an end.
It is to realize that sexual gratification does not make a man, and yet to fearlessly and compassionately give yourself to your partner. To realize that wealth and status cannot weld inner rifts. It is to comfort one's inner child when its demons terrify it. It is to be a light onto this world and give space to the darkness. It is to accept responsibility and uphold it. It is to be free from the fear of losing freedom. These are all not exclusive to men, but qualities latent within us all.
However, if we decide to be men, let us be this sort of forgotten, powerful man. A man that does not need to belittle, a man that does not need to abuse, a man that recognizes his own beauty and strength and has faith in it when he feels small. That allows love to come in. A man that does not need to retaliate when others disturb him. That recognizes that nothing can reduce the being within, its potential, and the beauty of the world it projects into its consciousness through his eyes.
Men, believe in yourself. You can be who you want to be. You can create the life you want. You can attract the one you love. But society is letting you down. Instead of giving you tools that work, it shoves you on an eternal treadmill. A treadmill that only profits those who would see you be an obedient soldier, a consumer, a higher bracket taxpayer, or whatever pursuits or status our society brainwashes us to pursue.
You can do all these things, but let it be your choice. Make these things more attainable by growing, by reducing the inner conflict, by using the full power of your emotional awareness and regulation that is only unlocked by feeling. By understanding yourself and others better. By seeing things more clearly, not by following others' techniques and instructions only but by honing your perception and intelligence. So much social conditioning and consumer culture divide us, make us understand each other less, and make us alienated from other genders and groups. Sometimes so they can sell us their narrative and their products. Let us be free.
Easier said than done you say?
We truly live in a world that makes it harder to develop these qualities. Or perhaps these qualities are there, but their potential is suppressed and supplanted by other patterns. We often start off with trauma and life events that interfere with our growth. We try to cope, and the world can be harsh to our coping mechanisms. We model the world as we see it through our hurt selves, and we often blame ourselves for being stuck. Luckily, there are ways to break out of the cycle. It's unfortunate that most of us don't have access to people who guide us through the process. And most importantly, we are constantly distracted by strategies that don't work. Buy this course, go to this gym, buy these clothes, make more money, stress and push yourself, or get lost in the system trying to get therapy. We keep being told we need to be better, and enhance ourselves from the outside in. But we are not taught how much we can affect our mental software, how we can reshape our psyche, heal from patterns, and regain our natural social and emotional skills and self-esteem.
This requires calm, patience, time, and deliberate focus, but our focus is snatched away by millions of distractions and a barrage of FOMO. We are made to feel stressed and insecure, that we need to succeed and maximize our potential, so that we consume more tips, coffee, addictions, or work ourselves to death to the benefit of employers, tax agencies, or the general economy. We are told we don't have time to reflect, that if we make the wrong choice we are screwed, so we need to hurry and follow whatever beaten path is thrown onto us. We perpetually seek guidance, sometimes from people that masquerade as experts on YouTube for views and forget to strengthen our own intuition and remove whatever puts us on a leash.
We are social animals; we process information about social situations unconsciously far more effectively than through our thinking minds. Anxiety can block this, so we assume we lack knowledge and need to learn. We resent the anxiety and fight it, and get stuck in a perpetual battle we cannot win because we are using the wrong method. Then we blame ourselves. Make ourselves smaller. And the cycle continues, with more desperate attempts to exit the cycle and find more tips and tricks.
There is a way out, but it feels so counterintuitive that we expect it the least. Meeting ourselves where we are at, exposing ourselves to our fears and weaknesses, growing from there, sharing it with others, feeling—it all makes us feel like we will get stuck. The child that learned these lessons throws a tantrum at the possibility. But we are not children anymore. We needed these strategies in the past, but now they hold us back. We do not need to hide; we are capable of growing and learning to meet our own needs. And that is the way forward.
Do you truly think this kind of man is weak? That he is unable to achieve what he sets out to do? That women will gloss over? I have never been so comfortable and connected to women as when I started letting go of all the things above and being there. Calm, present, joyful, grounded in my own being, and creating space for the both of us; changing the dynamic forever into one of exploration, of love, of excitement, of ease, and of insight for the other person that sees that this mode is possible.
Let's build this reality together. Please, tell me what this made you think. Please argue and object, or ask questions. I am not an authority, but we are here to explore together, think independently and disagree. Perhaps we can reach more nuance and truth that way together. Share your experience with me. Share with me your ideas on how to create a world that does not inhibit the freedom of man but encourages his agency, helps him be better to others, and be a source of flourishing rather than anguish to women. And, let me know if you want me to write more. I have a lot of experience and ideas I haven't shared. If it helps, I will. Want to bounce off ideas on how to start implementing this? Just send me a text and i'll try to share some things that worked with me when I can😊

Hey, hope this is appropriate to post here! I've been into Dr. K's work for several years, and in the world of mental health and self-development for over a decade now. I've never really been active online and talked about these ideas with friends, coworkers, and partners. However, I feel inspired to stimulate some discussions I find are important and try to contribute to this and other similar communities. So I would like to share with you some reflections I wrote. I'd love to hear your thoughts and reflections. I'm not here to convince you of my ideas (although perhaps I can write persuasively sometimes), I am no authority, but I would love to hear your reflections, thoughts and discuss. I feel hopeful to try to find some truth together through this, and maybe think together as a community how we can make certain situations better for people. Of and please be very honest! I'm not looking for feedback for my form, or to get better at writing although I'm sure I could definitely use some. But I would love to see what these ideas evoke and people, their stories, their concerns, their disagreements, and points of view.
Let me know if I'm breaking the rules, and if you want more discussions like this! I'm eager to talk about agency, addiction, customizing mental health interventions, combining self improvement with social impact, the effects of our construction of social status on happiness and growth, how we can make the internet more nuanced and promote mindful content vs polarized, absolutistic and quick dopamine hit formats.
Well, without further ado. Welcome and thank you.
What Does It Mean to Be a Strong Man?
I acknowledge that the question may be irrelevant. That we may not need a definition. These definitions do not apply to everyone who uses the same term. However, people, perhaps more commonly those who identify as men, do often choose a definition. It is often nebulous, implicit, acted out, and unexamined. An amalgamation of ideas we are fed by others, cultural norms, emotional reactions, stereotypes, and beliefs we buy into. These ideas come from many sources that we do not have the opportunity to question. Being told to not cry and be a man while growing up, the attempts of other men to portray themselves as strong whether fruitful or vain, narratives around celebrity, status, fame. These often influence us, and eventually have some influence on the stereotypes that form around the idea of being a man. Perhaps it would be helpful to examine these ideas. I find them quite problematic. Not because I want to erase the concept of manhood, but because I think they often do a disservice to what a man can be and embody. We are often led to believe that unless we act in a certain way, we are not men. That we are weak, that we are not valuable, that we will not be respected and loved. And that the way to avoid this is to conform, to become rigid and put up our walls and defenses. This can often lead to tragically unnecessary outcomes. Alienation, isolation, stress, inner critique, avoidance, low self-esteem, and perhaps even push people away and lash out at them. We are told we need to hustle and grind to live up to being a man, that unless we reach certain goals we are diminished and failures. And we are often certain not the ones to choose our goals, but they are imparted on us.
So are the stereotypes true? What is it to be a man? Is it to be wealthy, physically strong, intimidating, shouting, or aggressive? Are these traits that we often see espoused by what we've come to associate with masculinity? Is it to achieve nebulous "success" as defined by others, and at any cost? Is masculinity dependent on the admiration of others, and upon the validation of our romantic interests? Is this what is central to being a man? Are we falling for a false narrative? Or are these phenomena just a symptom of our confusion, and the result of not having a clear vision of what being a man can entail?
My experience tells me that by adopting these notions, we underestimate and undervalue what a man can be, giving way to and rationalizing insecurities. We assume, through this model, that we cannot deal with certain experiences with grace and severely limit our growth. Are we not suffocating our freedom by buying into these narratives? Perhaps it is our lack of role models that deprives us of formative experiences during childhood, of seeing men be a pillars of love and calm for others. Seeing them be truly loved and respected, without the need for any gimmicks, silver tongue, status games or other forms of compensation we are continuous told me need by companies and influencers.
No, I believe the reality of being a man is much more profound than that. That we are leaving so much on the table by not having this compass. That it can seem daunting, but infinitely rewarding. I also don't view it as a stressful obligation that needs to be met otherwise we are unworthy. Rather, an invitation. I believe our natural inclination and the identity in which we flourish most are far from these stereotypes. It seems to me that it is blocked and occluded by many factors. And the path to actualizing it is of acceptance. It is time to seek out an identity that defies all those gurus who try to make us feel insecure, to try to be like them, to buy their products, to keep trying to replicate techniques that only reinforce self-doubt and the idea that we cannot embody who we want to be, live the life we want without chasing shiny status symbols.
No, to be a man is much more than that.
The idea of a man is to be able to fully feel one's emotions, one's fears, without panicking, without changing one's behavior, and doing the loving right thing. People think that feeling weakens you, controls you. But a man still has the agency to choose how he responds to them without cowering and escaping them, and therefore blinding himself. A man can feel his sorrow and still show up to work. A man can feel insecure but not run away and go for what he wants. A man can feel small and not hide from others, but share his vulnerability and still choose to step up. A man can let himself feel desperate and needy but choose to respect his integrity and not try to control the situation to suppress how he feels. The beautiful thing is, you don't have to be there. We are often told that unless we hit the mark, we are shunned and not respected. I have found that to not be true, and my imperfect attempts to be open, to hold space, to feel, have brought people closer to me and gave them the opportunity to help me grown and support me when I am vulnerable. It created the space for people to accept me the way I am once I took the step to be vulnerable and reveal myself. And that has helped shed so many insecurities.
Being a man is to have the courage to love, whether vulnerable or with tough love, and boundaries. It is to choose freedom and feeling through pain rather than contracting and escaping. It is to be able to give space, to serve others, to love them, to support them. To show one's weakness without trying to escape it, while working on improving. It is to be resilient, resourceful, and proactive in doing what seems to be right without the need for control. It is loving oneself and not chasing validation from others. It is to love without expecting in return, which is very different from being used. It is to tell the truth even when it is difficult. It is to, with inner calm and gentleness, confront someone with the appropriate intensity when they hurt others, or themselves. It is to be your brother's keeper. It is to forgive. It is to protect those you love. It is to weather the storm of love with as much calm as possible. It is to let go of the need to prove oneself. It is to be an anchor. It is to take life with humor. It is to love others as fully-fledged human beings and not as a means to an end.
It is to realize that sexual gratification does not make a man, and yet to fearlessly and compassionately give yourself to your partner. To realize that wealth and status cannot weld inner rifts. It is to comfort one's inner child when its demons terrify it. It is to be a light onto this world and give space to the darkness. It is to accept responsibility and uphold it. It is to be free from the fear of losing freedom. These are all not exclusive to men, but qualities latent within us all.
However, if we decide to be men, let us be this sort of forgotten, powerful man. A man that does not need to belittle, a man that does not need to abuse, a man that recognizes his own beauty and strength and has faith in it when he feels small. That allows love to come in. A man that does not need to retaliate when others disturb him. That recognizes that nothing can reduce the being within, its potential, and the beauty of the world it projects into its consciousness through his eyes.
Men, believe in yourself. You can be who you want to be. You can create the life you want. You can attract the one you love. But society is letting you down. Instead of giving you tools that work, it shoves you on an eternal treadmill. A treadmill that only profits those who would see you be an obedient soldier, a consumer, a higher bracket taxpayer, or whatever pursuits or status our society brainwashes us to pursue.
You can do all these things, but let it be your choice. Make these things more attainable by growing, by reducing the inner conflict, by using the full power of your emotional awareness and regulation that is only unlocked by feeling. By understanding yourself and others better. By seeing things more clearly, not by following others' techniques and instructions only but by honing your perception and intelligence. So much social conditioning and consumer culture divide us, make us understand each other less, and make us alienated from other genders and groups. Sometimes so they can sell us their narrative and their products. Let us be free.
Easier said than done you say?
We truly live in a world that makes it harder to develop these qualities. Or perhaps these qualities are there, but their potential is suppressed and supplanted by other patterns. We often start off with trauma and life events that interfere with our growth. We try to cope, and the world can be harsh to our coping mechanisms. We model the world as we see it through our hurt selves, and we often blame ourselves for being stuck. Luckily, there are ways to break out of the cycle. It's unfortunate that most of us don't have access to people who guide us through the process. And most importantly, we are constantly distracted by strategies that don't work. Buy this course, go to this gym, buy these clothes, make more money, stress and push yourself, or get lost in the system trying to get therapy. We keep being told we need to be better, and enhance ourselves from the outside in. But we are not taught how much we can affect our mental software, how we can reshape our psyche, heal from patterns, and regain our natural social and emotional skills and self-esteem.
This requires calm, patience, time, and deliberate focus, but our focus is snatched away by millions of distractions and a barrage of FOMO. We are made to feel stressed and insecure, that we need to succeed and maximize our potential, so that we consume more tips, coffee, addictions, or work ourselves to death to the benefit of employers, tax agencies, or the general economy. We are told we don't have time to reflect, that if we make the wrong choice we are screwed, so we need to hurry and follow whatever beaten path is thrown onto us. We perpetually seek guidance, sometimes from people that masquerade as experts on YouTube for views and forget to strengthen our own intuition and remove whatever puts us on a leash.
We are social animals; we process information about social situations unconsciously far more effectively than through our thinking minds. Anxiety can block this, so we assume we lack knowledge and need to learn. We resent the anxiety and fight it, and get stuck in a perpetual battle we cannot win because we are using the wrong method. Then we blame ourselves. Make ourselves smaller. And the cycle continues, with more desperate attempts to exit the cycle and find more tips and tricks.
There is a way out, but it feels so counterintuitive that we expect it the least. Meeting ourselves where we are at, exposing ourselves to our fears and weaknesses, growing from there, sharing it with others, feeling—it all makes us feel like we will get stuck. The child that learned these lessons throws a tantrum at the possibility. But we are not children anymore. We needed these strategies in the past, but now they hold us back. We do not need to hide; we are capable of growing and learning to meet our own needs. And that is the way forward.
Do you truly think this kind of man is weak? That he is unable to achieve what he sets out to do? That women will gloss over? I have never been so comfortable and connected to women as when I started letting go of all the things above and being there. Calm, present, joyful, grounded in my own being, and creating space for the both of us; changing the dynamic forever into one of exploration, of love, of excitement, of ease, and of insight for the other person that sees that this mode is possible.
Let's build this reality together. Please, tell me what this made you think. Please argue and object, or ask questions. I am not an authority, but we are here to explore together, think independently and disagree. Perhaps we can reach more nuance and truth that way together. Share your experience with me. Share with me your ideas on how to create a world that does not inhibit the freedom of man but encourages his agency, helps him be better to others, and be a source of flourishing rather than anguish to women. And, let me know if you want me to write more. I have a lot of experience and ideas I haven't shared. If it helps, I will. Want to bounce off ideas on how to start implementing this? Just send me a text and i'll try to share some things that worked with me when I can😊

Hey all, I’ve owned the BSS silver sterling neck for about 6 months and been using it on my Yamaha 62 alto (modern). I find it really easy to overshoot the intonation sharp on anything higher than high C. This is pretty annoy out ing because the stock neck doesn’t have this issue but the sound I get from the BSS neck is amazing. I wanted to know if anyone has had this experience and could give me their thoughts. Thanks!

Copied from my post on another group
I’ll try my best to keep this as short as I can while remaining coherent about it..
When I was young, my Grandma always called me “Mizpah” as a nickname. Being young, I never thought much of it, especially what it even meant in the first place. I ended up losing her in a tragic way at the age of 17 which affected my life in a negative way for a good amount of time. I was never necessarily religious or even spiritual for that matter, but after her passing, I begged for a sign for the longest time, to no avail. Fast forward.
I’ve never been good with people romantically. Like ever. Never been in a real relationship or experienced any true deep connection with anyone, up until around September of ‘23. This girl got hired at my work, (how I even ended up at this store in this state is in and of itself a story with its many synchronicities), and I was tasked with training her. We hit it off incredibly well very fast, and while we never dated because she technically has a boyfriend, over the span of seven months we grew insanely close with one another to the point where we were nearly inseparable, and despite her being in a relationship, (long distance mind you, never met each other), there’s a very real chemistry there between us.
So, what do these two parts have to do with one another? WELL. Just over two months ago, I was at her house and we were watching some random YouTube series about the paranormal which in part dealt with communicating with dead loved ones. Half way through the episode, I paused it and decided to finally come around in being open with her about what exactly happened with my grandma, and part of that was telling her, “how I begged for a sign for the longest time but never received one, but in hindsight, I’m happy I didn’t because I probably wouldn’t have been able to handle it. But if I were to receive a sign now, I think I’d be at peace with it.”. I then resumed the episode. After the episode ended, I started to bring up my grandma once again, and as I did, my phone started to ring. Who was calling? My grandmas old phone number. I actually instantly broke down about it because I had never experienced anything “paranormal” ever before. I didn’t answer the phone because I was too shocked honestly. I let it ring, then after composing myself, called back, and some random guy answered, saying he didn’t make any calls and was just on his way to grab groceries from the store. That was that. I told her, (and another friend more recently), that I feel like that was my grandma’s way of saying she was watching over us.
It gets weirder. Fast forward to Easter of this year. Due to some stupid situation taken out of context the day before, me and this girl had a falling out. We haven’t seen each other since, and have only argumentatively spoken like twice. Aside from that, I’ve just been focusing on myself as one is supposed to in these situations. Well, a few days ago I had the urge to treat myself; I’ve always wanted to own a piece of jewelry, but something antique, something from Victorian times. Within a short amount of time on Etsy, I found a sterling silver ring with a single word imprinted on it… ‘Mizpah’. After laughing at the “no way!” feeling about it, I had to finally see what that word meant after all this time. It’s a Hebrew word that means ‘watch over’. It became popularised during the Victorian period wherein couples would gift each other rings with this word to keep them safe while they were apart from each other.
I’ve experienced a good amount of synchronicities with this girl, but this one is borderline haunting. A little extra “crazy” thing about the ring I found too, (and I did end up buying it), is that the makers mark is B&B, with coincides with the initials of this girls and I surnames.
Just a super, bizarre, series of events that I figured you guys would find interesting. Feel free to ask any questions you may have!

I’ll try my best to keep this as short as I can while remaining coherent about it..
When I was young, my Grandma always called me “Mizpah” as a nickname. Being young, I never thought much of it, especially what it even meant in the first place. I ended up losing her in a tragic way at the age of 17 which affected my life in a negative way for a good amount of time. I was never necessarily religious or even spiritual for that matter, but after her passing, I begged for a sign for the longest time, to no avail. Fast forward.
I’ve never been good with people romantically. Like ever. Never been in a real relationship or experienced any true deep connection with anyone, up until around September of ‘23. This girl got hired at my work, (how I even ended up at this store in this state is in and of itself a story with its many synchronicities), and I was tasked with training her. We hit it off incredibly well very fast, and while we never dated because she technically has a boyfriend, over the span of seven months we grew insanely close with one another to the point where we were nearly inseparable, and despite her being in a relationship, (long distance mind you, never met each other), there’s a very real chemistry there between us.
So, what do these two parts have to do with one another? WELL. Just over two months ago, I was at her house and we were watching some random YouTube series about the paranormal which in part dealt with communicating with dead loved ones. Half way through the episode, I paused it and decided to finally come around in being open with her about what exactly happened with my grandma, and part of that was telling her, “how I begged for a sign for the longest time but never received one, but in hindsight, I’m happy I didn’t because I probably wouldn’t have been able to handle it. But if I were to receive a sign now, I think I’d be at peace with it.”. I then resumed the episode. After the episode ended, I started to bring up my grandma once again, and as I did, my phone started to ring. Who was calling? My grandmas old phone number. I actually instantly broke down about it because I had never experienced anything “paranormal” ever before. I didn’t answer the phone because I was too shocked honestly. I let it ring, then after composing myself, called back, and some random guy answered, saying he didn’t make any calls and was just on his way to grab groceries from the store. That was that. I told her, (and another friend more recently), that I feel like that was my grandma’s way of saying she was watching over us.
It gets weirder. Fast forward to Easter of this year. Due to some stupid situation taken out of context the day before, me and this girl had a falling out. We haven’t seen each other since, and have only argumentatively spoken like twice. Aside from that, I’ve just been focusing on myself as one is supposed to in these situations. Well, a few days ago I had the urge to treat myself; I’ve always wanted to own a piece of jewelry, but something antique, something from Victorian times. Within a short amount of time on Etsy, I found a sterling silver ring with a single word imprinted on it… ‘Mizpah’. After laughing at the “no way!” feeling about it, I had to finally see what that word meant after all this time. It’s a Hebrew word that means ‘watch over’. It became popularised during the Victorian period wherein couples would gift each other rings with this word to keep them safe while they were apart from each other.
I’ve experienced a good amount of synchronicities with this girl, but this one is borderline haunting. A little extra “crazy” thing about the ring I found too, (and I did end up buying it), is that the makers mark is B&B, with coincides with the initials of this girls and I surnames.

Importance of a logo for a fitness coaching website

A logo plays a crucial role in establishing a strong brand identity for a fitness coaching website. It serves as a visual representation of the website and helps create a memorable and recognizable image. A well-designed logo can communicate the values, personality, and professionalism of the fitness coaching business. It can also attract potential clients and differentiate the website from competitors. With 99designs, creating a logo for your fitness coaching website becomes easier as you have access to a pool of talented designers who can bring your vision to life. Whether you prefer a minimalist design or a bold and energetic logo, 99designs offers a wide range of options to suit your needs. Investing in a professionally designed logo is a worthwhile investment for any fitness coaching website looking to make a lasting impression and build credibility with its target audience.

Benefits of using 99designs for logo creation

When it comes to logo creation for your fitness coaching website, using 99designs can offer numerous benefits. One of the key advantages is the platform's down-to-earth attitude, which sets it apart from other logo design services. With 99designs, you can expect a team of talented designers who are dedicated to understanding your vision and creating a logo that perfectly represents your fitness coaching brand. The down-to-earth attitude of 99designs ensures that the design process is collaborative and tailored to your specific needs. Additionally, the platform provides a range of design options to choose from, ensuring that you find the perfect logo that aligns with your brand identity. Whether you're looking for a sleek and modern logo or a more playful and energetic design, 99designs has you covered. By utilizing this platform, you can create a logo that not only captures the essence of your fitness coaching website but also resonates with your target audience.

Key considerations for designing a fitness coaching website logo

When it comes to designing a fitness coaching website logo, there are several key considerations to keep in mind. Firstly, the logo should reflect the essence of your fitness coaching business and convey the right message to your target audience. It should be visually appealing, memorable, and easily recognizable. Secondly, the logo design process for a fitness coaching website should involve thorough research and brainstorming to ensure that the final design aligns with your brand identity. This includes considering color schemes, typography, and imagery that resonate with the fitness industry. Lastly, it is important to take into account the logo design process for construction. This involves creating a logo that can be easily reproduced across different mediums, such as websites, social media profiles, and print materials. By considering these key factors, you can create a logo that effectively represents your fitness coaching business and leaves a lasting impression on your audience.

Understanding Your Fitness Coaching Brand

Defining your brand identity

Defining your brand identity is a crucial step in creating a successful logo for your fitness coaching website. It involves understanding and articulating the core values, mission, and vision of your brand. By defining your brand identity, you can establish a clear and consistent message that resonates with your target audience. This will help differentiate your fitness coaching website from competitors and attract potential clients. To define your brand identity, consider factors such as your target market, unique selling proposition, and desired brand personality. By carefully crafting your brand identity, you can create a logo that effectively communicates the essence of your fitness coaching website.

Identifying your target audience

Identifying your target audience is a crucial step in creating a successful logo for your fitness coaching website. By understanding who your target audience is, you can tailor your logo design to appeal to their specific needs and preferences. One important aspect to consider when identifying your target audience is their preference for Premium WordPress themes. Premium WordPress themes offer a range of benefits such as enhanced customization options, professional design elements, and reliable support. By incorporating these themes into your logo design, you can convey a sense of professionalism and credibility to your target audience. Additionally, by highlighting the benefits of Premium WordPress themes through hyperlinks, you can provide your audience with easy access to further information and resources.

Understanding your unique selling proposition

Your unique selling proposition (USP) is what sets your fitness coaching website apart from others in the industry. It is the reason why potential clients should choose you over your competitors. Understanding your USP is crucial for effective marketing and branding. When it comes to creating a logo for your fitness coaching website, it is important to consider how your USP can be visually represented. A well-designed logo can communicate your USP to potential clients at a glance, making it easier for them to connect with your brand and choose your services. At 99designs, we understand the importance of capturing your USP in a logo design that resonates with your target audience. Our experienced designers can create a logo that reflects the unique qualities of your fitness coaching website, helping you stand out in the competitive market. With our expertise, you can confidently establish your brand identity and attract the right clients to your business.

Researching Fitness Coaching Logos

Exploring industry trends and competitors' logos

When exploring industry trends and competitors' logos, it is important to consider the latest developments in the fitness coaching industry. One valuable resource for staying up-to-date with industry trends is the Wix blog. The Wix blog provides insightful articles and guides on various aspects of fitness coaching, including logo design. By reading the Wix blog, fitness coaches can gain inspiration and ideas for creating a logo that stands out from their competitors. Additionally, studying competitors' logos can provide valuable insights into the design elements and styles that are popular in the industry. Analyzing successful competitors' logos can help fitness coaches identify trends and incorporate them into their own logo design. By combining industry trends and competitor analysis, fitness coaches can create a logo that effectively represents their brand and appeals to their target audience.

Gathering inspiration from successful fitness coaching brands

When it comes to creating a logo for your fitness coaching website, gathering inspiration from successful fitness coaching brands is a crucial step. By studying the logos of established fitness coaching brands, you can gain valuable insights into what works well in the industry and what resonates with your target audience. This process allows you to identify common themes, styles, and design elements that you can incorporate into your own logo design. Additionally, observing the logos of successful fitness coaching brands can help you understand the trends and preferences of your potential clients, enabling you to create a logo that effectively communicates your brand identity and attracts your desired audience.

Analyzing the psychology of colors and shapes in logo design

When it comes to logo design, understanding the psychology of colors and shapes is essential. The colors and shapes used in a logo can evoke certain emotions and convey specific messages to the audience. Analyzing the psychology of colors and shapes allows designers to create logos that effectively communicate the brand's values and resonate with the target audience. One important aspect of logo design is conducting competitive research. By studying the logos of competitors in the fitness coaching industry, designers can gain insights into the trends and strategies used by successful brands. This research helps them identify unique design elements and differentiate their client's logo from the competition. By incorporating the right colors and shapes based on their analysis, designers can create a logo that not only visually appeals to the audience but also aligns with the brand's identity and goals.

Creating a Logo Brief

Defining your logo's purpose and message

Creating a logo for your fitness coaching website with 99designs is an important step in establishing your brand identity. But before diving into the design process, it's crucial to define the purpose and message of your logo. This will ensure that your logo effectively communicates the essence of your fitness coaching business. When defining your logo's purpose and message, consider factors such as your target audience, the values you want to convey, and the unique selling points of your fitness coaching services. By clearly defining these aspects, you can create a logo that resonates with your audience and sets you apart from your competitors.

Setting design guidelines and preferences

When it comes to setting design guidelines and preferences for your fitness coaching website's logo, it is important to consider the overall branding and messaging of your business. Start by defining the key elements that represent your fitness coaching services, such as strength, motivation, and health. These elements can be incorporated into the logo design to create a visual representation of your brand. Additionally, think about the color palette and typography that align with your brand's personality and target audience. By establishing clear design guidelines and preferences, you can ensure that your logo accurately reflects your fitness coaching website and resonates with your potential clients.

Providing examples and references for the desired style

When it comes to creating a logo for your fitness coaching website, providing examples and references for the desired style is essential. By showcasing specific examples of logos or design elements that resonate with your vision, you can effectively communicate your preferences to the designer. Whether you prefer a sleek and modern look or a more playful and energetic style, providing examples and references will help ensure that the final logo aligns with your brand identity and appeals to your target audience. Additionally, referencing other successful fitness coaching websites or industry leaders can provide inspiration and guidance for creating a logo that stands out in a competitive market. Ultimately, by providing clear examples and references for the desired style, you can collaborate with the designer to create a logo that captures the essence of your fitness coaching business and sets you apart from the competition.

Working with 99designs

Exploring the logo design contest options

When it comes to creating a logo for your fitness coaching website, there are numerous options to explore through logo design contests. These contests provide a platform for designers from all over the world to showcase their skills and creativity. With 99designs, you can choose from a variety of contest options, including Bronze, Silver, Gold, and Platinum. Each option offers different features and benefits, allowing you to find the perfect fit for your budget and design requirements. Whether you're looking for a simple and minimalist logo or a bold and dynamic design, the logo design contest options on 99designs have got you covered. Take your time to explore the different options and find the one that best suits your vision for your fitness coaching website's logo.

Collaborating with designers and providing feedback

Collaborating with designers and providing feedback is an essential part of creating a logo for your fitness coaching website with 99designs. By working closely with talented designers, you can ensure that your vision and brand identity are accurately represented in the logo design. Throughout the collaboration process, it is important to provide clear and constructive feedback to the designers, highlighting what aspects of the design you like and any areas that may need revision. This open and iterative feedback loop allows the designers to refine their concepts and create a logo that truly captures the essence of your fitness coaching website.

Selecting the winning design and finalizing the logo

After carefully reviewing all the design options, it is time to select the winning design and finalize the logo for your fitness coaching website. This crucial step involves considering various factors such as the design's alignment with your brand identity, its visual appeal, and its ability to effectively communicate your fitness coaching services. Take into account the feedback received from your target audience and any modifications or adjustments that may be necessary to ensure the logo accurately represents your business. Once you have chosen the winning design, work closely with the designer to make any final tweaks and refinements before officially adopting the logo. Remember, a well-designed logo can greatly enhance your website's professional image and attract potential clients to your fitness coaching services.

Implementing Your Fitness Coaching Website Logo

Choosing the right file formats and sizes

Choosing the right file formats and sizes is crucial when creating a logo for your fitness coaching website. The file format determines how the logo will be displayed and used across different platforms and devices. It is important to choose a format that is widely supported and can maintain the quality of the logo. Common file formats for logos include JPEG, PNG, and SVG. JPEG is suitable for photographs and complex images, while PNG is ideal for logos with transparency. SVG is a vector format that allows for scalability without loss of quality. In addition to the file format, it is also important to consider the size of the logo. Different platforms and devices have different size requirements, and it is essential to create versions of the logo that are optimized for each platform. This ensures that the logo appears crisp and clear, regardless of the device it is viewed on. By carefully choosing the right file formats and sizes, you can ensure that your fitness coaching website's logo looks professional and consistent across all platforms.

Integrating the logo into your website design

Integrating the logo into your website design is a crucial step in creating a cohesive and professional brand identity. A well-designed logo can enhance the overall look and feel of your fitness coaching website, making it more visually appealing and memorable for your visitors. When integrating the logo, consider the placement, size, and color scheme to ensure it complements the overall design of your website. Additionally, make sure the logo is prominently displayed on your homepage and other key pages to create a strong brand presence. By seamlessly incorporating the logo into your website design, you will establish a strong visual identity for your fitness coaching business, leaving a lasting impression on your audience.

Testing the logo's visibility and scalability

Testing the logo's visibility and scalability is an essential step in the process of professional logo design. It ensures that the logo is easily recognizable and legible in various sizes and formats. By testing the logo's visibility, you can determine if it stands out effectively and conveys the intended message to your target audience. Additionally, testing the logo's scalability allows you to assess how well it maintains its quality and clarity when resized or displayed on different platforms. Overall, thorough testing of the logo's visibility and scalability guarantees that it will effectively represent your fitness coaching website and leave a lasting impression on your visitors.

Conclusion

The impact of a well-designed logo on your fitness coaching website

A well-designed logo can have a significant impact on your fitness coaching website. It serves as the visual representation of your brand and can instantly convey the message and values of your business. When it comes to fitness coaching, a logo that is appealing and relevant can attract potential clients and create a sense of trust and professionalism. One important aspect to consider when designing a logo for your fitness coaching website is catering to your target audience. By understanding their preferences and interests, you can create a logo that resonates with them and captures their attention. Additionally, a well-designed logo can help differentiate your fitness coaching website from competitors and establish a unique identity in the market. Overall, investing in a high-quality logo design can greatly enhance the overall appearance and credibility of your fitness coaching website.

The benefits of using 99designs for logo creation

When it comes to creating a logo for your fitness coaching website, using 99designs can offer a range of benefits. One of the key advantages of using 99designs is the ability to access a diverse pool of talented designers. With 99designs, you can tap into a global network of creative professionals who specialize in logo design. This means you have the opportunity to receive unique and high-quality logo concepts that align with your fitness coaching brand. Additionally, 99designs provides a streamlined process for logo creation. From submitting a design brief to receiving multiple design options, the platform makes it easy to collaborate with designers and iterate on your logo until you are satisfied. Another benefit of using 99designs is the option to receive custom logo designs that are tailored to your specific needs. Whether you have a clear vision in mind or need help refining your ideas, the designers on 99designs can bring your logo concept to life. Overall, utilizing 99designs for logo creation can save you time, provide access to top-tier design talent, and ensure your fitness coaching website has a professional and visually appealing logo.

Continuing to evolve and refine your logo as your brand grows

Continuing to evolve and refine your logo as your brand grows is essential for maintaining a strong visual identity. As your fitness coaching website gains traction and your business relationships expand, it is important to ensure that your logo accurately represents your values. By regularly reassessing and updating your logo, you can demonstrate your commitment to growth and adaptability. This process allows you to refine your brand image while staying true to your core principles, ensuring that you can build strong business relationships without compromising your values.
In conclusion, having great design is essential for the success of any business. Whether you need a logo, a website, or any other graphic design work, 99designs is the global creative platform that can help you achieve your goals. With over 500k happy customers, 99designs has proven to be a trusted source for custom graphic design. Don't miss out on the opportunity to grow your business with great design. Visit 99designs today and hire a talented designer or start a design contest.